#except beyonce and a few others

[grapeszn]

raye is so fucking talented oh my god

[saintslewis]

𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 — 𝐋𝐇𝟒𝟒

— pairing: lewis hamilton x fem!oc

— trope: fake/arranged marriage

— summary: the Browns and the Hamiltons have been neighbours for many years, Nadia and their oldest son, Lewis, not being as close as the families had hoped they would be. Years later, everyone drifts apart into different neighbourhoods, some others becoming one of the best drivers to ever grace the sport of Formula One however being a man of his stature, fame came along with it and so did the scandals.

can a fake marriage to a complete stranger help keep his image alive? let’s find out!

✧༚ ˎˊ˗ ———————— let’s meet the lovely couple!

👩🏽‍🏫 —— nadia brown!

“the coolest teacher ever”

⸰ֺ⭑ - a south african native who moved to stevenage with her mom when she was 8 and gosh, her character development is one for the books. from being the shy one for all of her school years, university changed everything and made her the social butterfly that you will all grow to love soon. fav colour is pink. fav artist is beyoncé. she teaches history and knows jack shit about f1 except that the cool guy that her parents support used to be their neighbour. absolutely loves the moon and is a part time stylist. will fight for you even she met you a second ago.

🏎️ —— lewis hamilton!

“the goat.”

⸰ֺ⭑ - a literal superstar. the stevenage driver who i would describe as the coolest person ever and many would agree. an adrenaline junky with a heart of gold and filled with positivity (and sass but you didn’t hear it from me). thee fashionista and he knows he’s fine, he just does. father to roscoe. fav colour is purple. loves discussing space and its beauty. did i mention he’s the coolest guy ever? super supportive of everyone around him and he’s knighted. ladies and gents, mr mercedes!

✧༚ ˎˊ˗ info abt renaissance!

˖ ࣪⭑ - warnings: cussing, outfit descriptions, a bit of angst, mentions of alcohol, a talk of ad21, south african slang, slight hints of smut (18+ MDNI), not much of a slow burn lol, lots and lots of brand names, slight themes of sugar daddy! lewis at some point lol (think of it as him spoiling her!)

˖ ࣪⭑ - inspo: this idea just spawned into my head as well as a few of my wip’s mushed together to make this masterpiece. i absolutely love beyonce so using RENAISSANCE for a project so special to me just make wanna do a couple cartwheels. i hope you guys enjoy this as much as i did making this!

˖ ࣪⭑ - saint’s team radio: omg hi everybody 🤭. first oc on tumblr woohoo! not a lot of the song lyrics will relate to the plot of the chapter but more so the beat of the song or the vibe? hope that makes sense lol. i hope you guys like the humour i’m gonna add in here. there isn’t a schedule for this yet but hopefully i’ll be more organised in the future. let’s get this party started!

˖ ࣪⭑ - taglist: @thisismeracing @goldsainz @folkloresthings @flowerchild-96 @userlando (i read your blogs as if it’s my morning paper so i hope you like this 😭) @non-stop-imagines @royallyprincesslilly . let me know if you wanna be tagged in this or future fics!

˖ ࣪⭑ - dividers by @cafekitsune 🫶🏽

˖ ࣪⭑ - pictures from pinterest and twitter

˖ ࣪⭑ - nadia faceclaim: @/unclewaffles_ on ig!

𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 !

1. I’M THAT GIRL

- the first meeting.

2. COZY

- imagine having dinner with your family then they announce that you’re getting married? you better get cozy for this one!

3. ALIEN SUPERSTAR

- first “date”. gotta show the world the newest married couple!

4. CUFF IT

- didn’t Lewis say he was a professional dancer? well now he is 🕺🏽

5. ENERGY

- first day in the paddock, let’s gaurrr

6. BREAK MY SOUL

- ooohhhhh, the school’s calling for a meeting with Nadia 😟

7. CHURCH GIRL

- party time activated ‼️

8. PLASTIC OFF THE SOFA

- a rainy afternoon in the kitchen with the both of them dancing? literally screaming!

9. VIRGO’S GROOVE

- catching feelings there?

10. MOVE

- a visit to Nadia’s work place isn’t so bad, right? …right?

11. HEATED

- time to let the world know who exactly Nadia is and why to not mess with her or her husband. period.

12. THIQUE

- party time pt 2?

13. ALL UP IN YOUR MIND

- how about a little vacation? :D

14. AMERICA HAS A PROBLEM

- coming soon!

15. PURE/HONEY

- coming soon!

16. SUMMER RENAISSANCE

- coming soon!

status: ongoing

saintslewis 🫶🏽

[alovesreading]

Constant Repeat | Part 16

Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 22.7k

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.

A/N: Firstly, I wanted to thank you all for your patience and your support, but I still wanted to apologise again for taking so long to update. So much has happened in the past month but in between the tears and all the stress, I'm so happy to still find a comforting escape in writing. This one is a bit shorter than the last one but we're finally getting to those bits of the story that I wrote at the very beginning and I'm just stoked to finally dive into it in detail and with all that this story has come to be. Enjoy!! xx

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 |

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

(13/01/2014 06:43) I can't believe you're cheating on me like that and actually telling me...

Alex chuckled at her dramatics when he checked his phone about half an hour after he'd sent that first picture. It was a quick one he'd snapped of the set they were currently at, a big carpeted living room with Matt's drum kit settled at the very end of it, Nick's bass and Jamie's guitar in their stands on their usual places and a mic stand right in the middle where Alex was meant to stand.

There were clearly a few big lights on the sides of the room and a big camera on someone's hands just off frame that picked at Ella's curiosity when she opened the picture the second she woke up.

So she'd asked where he was and, about ten minutes later, Alex had so easily answered, 'Recording the Arabella music video x' that Ella's jaw dropped and she stood in shock for a fair few minutes before sending that dramatic text back.

Alex snickered to himself, and tuning out the way Jake instructed the crowd in the room around them for the next scene they were about to record, he kept his focus on his phone to continue chatting to Ella.

(13/01/2014 06:58) In my defense, we were told we had this arranged last week and there's nothing I could do about it x

(13/01/2014 06:59) Yeah, sure, that's what they all say.

(13/01/2014 06:59) Darling...

(13/01/2014 06:59) Alexander?

(13/01/2014 07:00) Stop. Not the full name :(

(13/01/2014 07:00) Yes, the full name because you've got some audacity Mister.

(13/01/2014 07:00) Are you angry at me? :(

(13/01/2014 07:01) It's not really your fault but it doesn't mean I'm not giving you the cold shoulder after this.

(13/01/2014 07:01) Ella! That's not fair :((

(13/01/2014 07:01) Yeah, well. Life isn't fair, is it?? Who is this director anyway? Better be a good one or else...

(13/01/2014 07:01) Jake Nava. I hope it's enough to never explore that 'or else' x

(13/01/2014 07:01) Fuck of!!!!! Jake Nava?!?!?!? As in Jake Nava who's directed a bunch of Beyonce and Britney Spears music videos?!?!?

(13/01/2014 07:02) I think so? They mentioned him working with Tina Turner and the Stones too x

(13/01/2014 07:02) Okay, yes. Fucking hell. Should've started with that Alex.

(13/01/2014 07:02) You're funny x

(13/01/2014 07:03) I can hear you rolling your eyes from here sweets x You're forgiven but you better make it up to me, I miss you xx

(13/01/2014 07:03) You know I already am trying to figure something out x We have another single that's missing a music video anyway so... Miss you too darling, so much xx

'Arabella' was the second to last single that was going to be put out by March before their last, 'Snap Out Of It', which had been chosen to be put out by the middle of the year. Now that the 'Arabella' music video had already been taken care of, Alex tried steering the band's team into calling for Focus Creeps' help for the music video for Snap.

It took some convincing, since the lads were still on tour until mid February where they'd have their last show somewhere in the Midwest of the States, but they figured the video could be conceptualized to be recorded without the need of the lads being there. The Brit Awards were just a couple days after the last show of the tour so, the band needed to be on British soil as soon as possible.

Ella and Ben had come up with a good idea for the video so that the lads were involved in the footage but not have to be present on set: they'd use the concept from the recording of AM and portray some sort of breakup scenario between the actress they'd have to hire for the job and Alex. That way, Domino Records could also use the video to announce the AM recording documentary coming out before the Australia/New Zealand tour in May.

Brilliant. It was really a brilliant idea but Alex needed to see her. There was no way he'd be able to hold up until June, when they'd headline Bonnaroo, for him to see Ella. Over six months was way too long and he needed to do something about it.

Alex managed to convince his manager, with just two weeks of anticipation before the day the music video was meant to be recorded, that going to Los Angeles to be present during the recording of the 'Snap Out Of It' was a good idea. He had already bought his ticket before getting the greenlight, thinking it would be fine if he just snuck away from his responsibilities for less than a full day.

Thankfully, after he got the approval, the days had seemed to fly by. Before he knew it, he was bidding farewell to the lively crowd of Saint Louis, Missouri and almost dashing off the stage just to make sure he was closer to seeing her soon.

The guys had laughed seeing him hastily walk away from them at the airport, rushing to get to the horrendously long security line at almost two in the morning whilst the lads took their time to go around the airport for some food and coffee since their flight wouldn't leave until a five in the morning.

The flight from Saint Louis to Los Angeles wasn't that long, merely four hours, but every minute seemed to elongate the more Alex stared at the clock as he waited for the rest of the passengers to board the plane. When they were finally up in the air, he found himself getting more nervous to see Ella again. In his head, he imagined himself flipping through the pages of the scrapbook she'd given him, the one that was in his suitcase so he couldn't exactly get it at that very moment.

Eventually, he fell asleep, all the energy that had lingered in his body after the show had run out and a few hours later, he was being woken up by the voice of the pilot announcing they'd be landing shortly.

Eight in the morning in LAX was an absolute headache, especially avoiding the paparazzi that seemed to perpetually find their places around the arrivals gate, and getting a damn taxi, but he would carry the burden of it all since it meant he was closer to surprising Ella. She had no idea he was coming, he had purposely kept that to himself but he'd had to tell Ben so that he could give him the address for the house they were filming at.

He hated that he couldn't properly stay, not when the Brits were due in three days and they had to rehearse for their presentation. His manager had already warned him against suddenly staying and missing the event; it would look bad if they pulled out of their spot in the show at the last minute, especially when they were nominated for multiple awards.

His flight back to London was later that night, meaning he'd only be able to stay to see Ella and Ben recording the video and then he'd have to go back to the airport. He hoped that by the time he had to go, the video was wrapped up and Ella could have some time with him—even if it was just to say a proper goodbye.

Twenty minutes after walking out through the arrivals gate, he got picked up by a taxi and the drive over to the set was meant to be about forty minutes long. It ended up being over an hour thanks to Los Angeles traffic, which was weird for it being Sunday morning, but not surprising nonetheless.

Ben opened the back door for Alex and after a quick greeting, the singer carefully carried his case up the concrete stairs and into the house, setting it down softly in a corner of the kitchen so that no one heard him coming in. He wished he had recorded it all because when Ella turned around, once Ben had walked back into the living room where everything was set up, and saw Alex, she shrieked and ran towards him.

"What are you doing here?!" She said quickly and breathlessly, like the impact from crashing into his chest and being wrapped in his arms had stolen all the oxygen from her lungs.

He couldn't even find words, not when his smile was so big on his face now that he had her in his arms again. She pulled back, her eyes swimming all over his face as if to make sure he was real, her hands clutching onto his shoulders tightly.

"Oh my god, what are you doing here?" She whispered this time, entirely in shock of it all.

"I had to make it up to you." He shrugged nonchalantly, but the glimmer in his eyes showed the intent behind his presence there.

She smiled brightly, her eyes creasing at the corners in a way that had Alex swooning, "Oh you sure did."

Ella leaned in quickly to press a kiss on his cheek, his eyes closing instantly in bliss at the feeling of her lips on his skin, and then she let go of him because catching a glimpse of Ben standing there with a massive smirk on his face reminded her of the amount of people present in the room and watching their interaction.

"Alright, back to work everyone!" She clapped her hands twice to get everyone's focus away from what had just happened and to lighten the mood and avoid any questions, she joked,  "Boss is here now, gotta make sure it's perfect for him." Cheekily, she turned slightly to look at Alex and winked before turning back to Lydia and going back to work.

Before going back to the scene they'd been shooting, Ella introduced Alex to Stephanie Sigman who was playing the main girl in the music video. They laughed about the state in which she was while meeting the singer, clad in just a pencil skirt and a lace bralette with her makeup all purposely ruined from the tears she'd been uncontrollably shedding for the video.

Alex stepped back and admired Ella and Ben working their magic, appreciating every bit of her concentration and mentally pointing out the little quirks she had as she worked that he'd managed to catch throughout the years.

His smile didn't leave his face the whole time, even more so when he watched the multiple clips Ella had gotten of them recording the album playing on the TV. His stomach doing somersaults inside him when he saw how he smiled at Ella behind the camera in those clips, and he was almost sure that if anyone saw him right then, they would've found him blushing and grinning like an absolute fool.

He was a mess for her, always had been. And that became even clearer to him each day.

An hour must've gone by and Alex was entirely entranced by Ella. He'd felt someone's stare burning on the skin of the side of his neck and when he turned to see who it was, he found Ella's PA, Lydia, staring at him. Only giving her an embarrassed smile back, he prayed she hadn't noticed the way he couldn't peel his gaze off Ella.

He'd gone a bit further away from where everything was set up so that Lydia couldn't catch him again, and he grabbed a water bottle from the kitchen counter to appear casual as he continued watching the crew work.

It was a task tuning his own voice out as time passed, as the song kept repeating over and over, or was fast forwarded or skipped back to a certain point. So he pulled out his phone to update his manager, who in exchange reminded him that his flight left around ten in the evening so he'd have to be at the airport by seven or even a bit earlier, considering how busy LAX got. Alex had gotten so absorbed by the conversation that he didn't notice Ben taking over and letting Ella wander away for a bit.

The speakers blasted the song all over again, making Ella sway her hips softly to it. She mumbled the lyrics under her breath as she walked up to Alex and when she stood beside him, she nudged him gently with her hip and smirked, "This is a banging tune."

Alex smirked back, pocketing his phone and not answering his manager's last text about whether or not he needed a ride to the airport to look at her and then back to where Ben was working his magic with the camera, "Oh well," he shrugged nonchalantly, "You're a great muse."

A weight lifted off his shoulders after finally confessing that to her, and he could only hope that it would push things forward. Maybe with this she'd realize there were many songs about her in the record than she'd thought. He knew she knew 'Arabella' was about her, he'd managed to scoop it out of Flo, and though he hoped her reaction to it was much different now, he still wanted her to know of the songs that were for her in AM.

Ella didn't even have time to think of a response because her mind had gone blank for a few seconds and,  when she managed to gather her bearings, she heard her name being called by Ben to help him with a shot in which he was using the projector.

What the fuck?

With the new piece of knowledge, Ella found herself analyzing every line of the song as the recording continued and it was entirely her fault when she messed up a few takes from how distracted she was.

She didn't even know what to say when Alex told everyone he'd ordered lunch, after he'd ask Lydia when they'd planned for the lunch break to happen, and when everyone sat happily around the place, chatting and enjoying the lovely Italian food Alex had ordered, Ella was oddly silent.

Ben and Alex were engaged in lively conversation and Ella was just standing there, a few feet away from Alex, stuffing her face with the spinach ravioli bolognese that he'd of course gotten just for her. She'd wanted to run to a room in the house and scream into a pillow when he handed her the plate, along with a wink that had almost made her knees buckle.

If Alex had written this song about her, then which other ones could also be about or for her? Ella found herself trying hard to think about each lyric in each song but her brain was a mush. She'd have to listen to the album on the way home and think hard to figure out if the songs she'd even manage to have a feeling were about her, weren't just her reaching and attributing it to herself in confusion.

But first, she needed to finish recording the music video.

Slowly but surely, Ben and Ella wrapped up the shoot around half past three and it took them all about an hour to pack everything up in the small bus so that they could go back to the office.

Ben helped Alex put his suitcase in the back along with some of their camera cases and when he went inside the vehicle, Ella had called him to sit beside her. There was so much going around inside her mind, endless questions that she wanted to ask but with everyone around and the fear of bursting the bubble that they were in, she stayed quiet and chose to just rest her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes and sighing in bliss when she was enveloped by the scent of him.

"Missed you." She mumbled after she felt him kiss the top of her head, warmth seeping through her pores and a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

Alex hummed, resting his head over hers and closing his eyes to just revel in the moment, "Missed you more."

They fell asleep like that, the million words that formed a tornado in their heads being dulled down by the feeling of having each other close again.

Almost an hour later, they arrived at the office and Ella knew it from the way Alex's face contorted when he looked at the time on his phone that he had to go soon. She picked up her bag from her desk and turned off her computer quickly, doing a quick sweep of her office to check that she wasn't forgetting something and then she looked back at him.

He was about to say something, but in a desperate moment to have him for a little longer, she suggested, "I can drive you to the airport if you'd like."

He hesitated for a split second, knowing it would be a far longer ride because of it being rush hour, but the prospect of spending that time sitting in traffic beside her was way better than in the backseat of a taxi.

Alex nodded, "Sure, but I can drive." He had seen her yawn multiple times the past few minutes, "You're knackered darling."

"You sure?" She asked but she genuinely wanted to agree to his suggestion, he didn't wanna drive at all for the rest of the day.

The singer hummed, extending his hand out to her and she handed him the keys with a soft smile.

"Right, let's go." She nodded once, walking around her desk and intertwining their fingers to leave the place.

Ella couldn't care less about the glances they got as they waved everyone goodbye, all of them very obviously staring at their hands.

Alex's case rolled beside him as they walked out and he swiftly put it in the trunk of Ella's car when they got to it. Ella had almost run to sit on the passenger seat as soon as he opened the car and he'd laughed to himself at the eagerness on her face.

When he got into the passenger car, he took the piss out of her for her seat arrangement. She scoffed and ignored him, and then he looked up and saw that little mirrorball with a little cowboy hat perched on top and he smiled brightly.

"I missed seeing this." He admitted, bringing his finger up to poke at it and the thing started swinging softly and the reflection of the sun on it was like glitter inside Ella's car.

Ella smiled at it, "So pretty, isn't it?" She yawned yet again, behind her hand as she buckled her seatbelt and then got comfortable in her seat, almost like she was going to fall asleep. "M'gonna get you one when I go back home."

Alex started the car with a smile, finding the way she sleepily slurred her words incredibly endearing and he listened to her slurred words for another fifteen minutes as she guided him out onto the highway.

After she'd fallen asleep, Alex found himself enjoying every minute in that car. He didn't care that the traffic had made the journey over an hour long, because he spent it hearing her soft snores and catching glimpses of the pout on her relaxed face, covered by her hair that she blew softly with every exhale.

With a soft squeeze and rubs on her thigh, Alex woke her up slowly as they got closer to the airport. She'd slowly woken up from her slumber, blinking languidly and yawning before she gathered where they were and brushed her hair away from her face as she stretched out in her place.

"Good morning sunshine." Alex joked with a grin on his face, and Ella blushed at the pet name she hadn't expected.

"Hi." She said shyly, continuing to brush her fingers through her hair to detangle it and then diving into her bag to get a piece of gum and pop it in her mouth.

They had to go all the way to level five to find a parking spot and when they walked out of the car, they were hit by the cold winds of February and the loudness of the place. Ella took out a jacket she kept in the boot of her car and put it on, but despite that, Alex still wrapped his arm around her shoulder and clutched her tightly to him as they walked through the parking lot and onto the lifts so they could go down three levels and into the building so Alex could check-in.

There was a long line to the check-in counters and there were so many people at the airport that the noise around them started making them anxious. It didn't help at all that there were so many paparazzi around the place, so Alex kept his sunglasses perched on the bridge of his nose for as long as he could and quietly chatted to Ella as they waited so as not to bring attention to themselves.

Alex only lifted his sunglasses when he got to the counter, Ella's hand tightly clutched in his and he would only let go when he needed to hand in his passport and show his phone with the confirmation number, intertwining their fingers again the second he had his right hand free.

Ella bit her bottom lip to try not to stupidly smile every time, but a grin fought her attempts every time and she freely let herself show how happy his touch made her.

Her smile only faltered when the woman behind the counter asked for Ella's ticket and passport and she had to sadly say she wasn't going with Alex. And only to add to the blooming despair, when the woman checked in Alex's bag and handed him his boarding pass, she let them know that he needed to hurry up because he'd only have a bit over an hour to get through security and get to his gate.

Knowing how LAX got at that time of the day, the lack of any time left together hit them both at the same time and they flashed forced smiles at the woman before thanking her and walking away. Alex hoped that putting his sunglasses back on would help conceal the sadness shining through his eyes.

Walking towards the security line, the looming goodbye weighed heavy on their chests and seeing more and more people joining the back of the line as they approached it only made it worse.

"You really need to get in that line now." Ella sighed heavily, her words coming out pained because she hated having to be reasonable when she didn't want to be.

Alex hummed mindlessly, not really wanting to take her advice into consideration. He cursed having had to agree to performing on the Brits to begin with, he couldn't care less about any good promo for the record or if being invited on stage meant they were assured to win one of the categories they'd been nominated for. Whatever award it was, he'd surely put it away in a box later—he wanted to stay, and he wanted Ella.

His pace slowed as they continued walking, like he was convincing himself more and more of ditching his responsibilities for her. But Ella walked ahead of him, hands still intertwined so he had no other option than to match her pace and follow until they finally stood in the back of the line.

Alex looked at her with a pout, one that she matched but her words came out in an effort to soothe them both, "It's fine. I'll see you soon, yeah?"

Ella scooted a bit closer to his side, and rested her head on his shoulder. Alex wrapped his arm around her waist and kept her close to him, letting his head rest over her head with a deep sigh.

"Yeah." He replied softly, his accent thick and warm as it reached her ears and it almost had her shivering, "Bonnaroo will be fun."

At that, she slowly picked her head up and showed the massive grin that brought to her face, "It will be. I cannot fucking wait."

Even in the most mundane of settings, she looked breathtaking and Alex wanted nothing more than to cup her face and crash their lips together. Not a care in the world that they were in front of the largest crowd, none of them knew just how badly his chest hurt to think about having to leave her yet again.

His eyes dropped to her lips and Ella's breath hitched in her throat at the clear sight of it. In a panic, she changed the subject, "Are you going straight to rehearsal when you get back?" It wasn't that she didn't want that, it was that she didn't know if she could take it. If she could have another taste without wanting to drop to the floor and plead for him to stay.

Alex cleared his throat as he nodded, "Yeah, I land in the morning so I'm probably going straight to the venue."

"When is it again? I need to find a way to watch it." She doubted there could be a way to, she'd most likely would have to be looking through YouTube to find their performance and who were the winners.

"Wednesday night." He frowned slightly trying to search through his mind for a way that would let her watch the show but when he couldn't come up with anything, he promised, "If I can figure out a way for you to watch live, I'll let you know darling."

She hummed, satisfied with that answer, "Thank you sweetness."

They stood in silence then, close to each other and relishing in the warmth each other brought them as the line slowly moved forward. There was only a bit further that she could accompany him in line, she knew that she'd be bothering everyone behind them if she decided to stay with Alex up until it was his turn, and the officer standing by the entrance would ask her for a ticket to make sure only passengers went through, so she'd have to leave as soon as he walked past the glass fence that separated the security check area from the rest of the space.

So it was only a little over ten minutes that Ella stood beside him, before she had to make the decision of peeling herself away from him and actually saying goodbye.

She didn't want to and it was clear in the way the words struggle to slip past her lips. Her frown appeared softly on her face and it deepened as the farewell rose up her throat.

"I need to leave the queue now, sweets." A pout on her face that tied with her furrowed brows made him want to just take her with him, "They're gonna ask for my ticket and everyone behind me will be annoyed I'm taking space in the line when I'm not even leaving."

Alex scoffed at the idea, "Fuck them." He mumbled softly only for her to hear and she chuckled at the firmness of his words.

Turning so that her chest would be flush against his, she wrapped her arms around his neck and held him in a tight embrace. Her eyes fluttered close, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone behind them and it helped her trying to commit the feeling of being in his arms to memory.

Ella heard him hum in bliss and the soft sound stole a smile from her, one that made the apples of her cheeks rise and tint with a faint pink hue that he got to see when she pulled away.

They were so close though, sharing breaths as they took in each other's faces. She wanted to see the brown of his eyes one last time before he left, so she delicately brought her hands to the sides of his face to prop the glasses up on the top of his head. Her smile only got bigger when she saw the richness of color in front of her, his pupils dilating ever so slightly at the action.

Words failed her, she didn't really know what she should've said but nothing came out, every syllable stuck in the back of her throat when her fingers slowly dragged down the skin of his cheeks, a rush of something that felt like a shock to her system when she felt his stubble beneath the pads of her fingers.

She knew she should've asked if it was alright, if she could give into the temptation but she didn't. Ella just closed the distance and finally ended their agony, the feeling of her soft lips on his had Alex inhaling sharply, fingers digging on her waist and pulling her impossibly close.

It was her that hummed this time, when he took over and guided the sweet kiss. It wasn't desperate like they would've expected and it was probably because of the amount of people surrounding them, but it was just what they needed. Like some sort of comfort, a promise of what could become if they would just give into it all, maybe not right then but soon.

And soon couldn't come fast enough.

The kiss didn't last long, but Alex knew that wasn't deliberate just from how firmly she was cupping his jaw. Just as firm as he was holding her waist, not wanting her to move from that spot at all. But she pulled back with a soft smile, her eyes swimming all over his face as if in search of a clear answer and her heart soared in her chest when he leaned back in for another brief kiss.

One that she broke yet again, but he followed with a string of pecks that made her giggle.

But her giggles were interrupted by the man standing behind them clearing his throat, making Alex and Ella turn to look ahead of them and that's when they noticed everyone was waiting for them to follow ahead with the moving line of people.

"Sorry." Ella apologized for the both of them, not really meaning it because she was elated, though her elation was simmering down into a bittersweet feeling at the fact that they were about to move right into the entrance of the security area and it meant that she had to leave.

Alex walked quickly up to where he had to stand, and unfortunately, he found what Ella had said would happen to be right because the officer asked for her ticket and when she awkwardly admitted to not having one, she was asked to step out of the queue.

Thankfully, the officer opened up the railing for her to easily walk out without having to bother everyone behind Alex.

Ella didn't instantly listen though, because she quickly turned back to Alex and cupped his jaw again to pull him in for a quick peck before she said, "See you soon, okay? Love you sweets."

He didn't even have time to reply because she was gone in a matter of seconds and he couldn't even take his time to follow her path with his gaze because the officer rushed him forward and into one of the aisles.

Suddenly, the line started moving faster now that he was in the aisle and he was rushed through. Ella stayed up until he grabbed his belongings and he turned to briefly wave at her, mouthing a quick 'love you' before he was ushered to leave the area by one of the officers that had just cleared him through the scanner.

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Despite being incredibly giddy on her way back home, the long tedious hours she spent by herself while she waited for Alex to text her that he'd landed had been plagued by a storm of thoughts that pushed her into the most pessimistic of states.

Ella knew that if he'd gone for a second kiss then that'd mean something, but she had no idea how to approach the situation at all. They wouldn't see each other until June, four months being apart surely made her courage waver like a house of cards out in the open. Did she even want to properly think about all that she felt when it came to him when she knew there wasn't much at all that they could do about it at that very moment?

It just seemed horrifying and cruel, and Ella had no idea what to do. So she made the decision to let Alex be the one to make the first move, let that be the clear sign that it was something reciprocated.

A stupid decision really, because Alex was just as conflicted about it. He had thought about it the whole flight, falling asleep eventually and dreaming of being able to see her again and just kiss her until their lips were swollen and they had to gasp out for air continuously, dreaming of telling her how she drove him crazy and how he didn't want it any other way.

The kisses shared at the airport were never a topic they touched when they texted after he left. And at first, it was clear that they were walking on eggshells around each other, like they were trying to sway the conversation in that direction but neither of them committed to it. Until Ella took the full day of texts without a mention of the kisses as a sign that it wasn't something he was thinking of and she forced herself to text him like she normally would, Alex following her lead and leaving his unshared thoughts in the back of his head.

When the Brits day arrived, Alex had let her know she could watch the official stream of it on YouTube. He'd comically said, "I haven't a clue of what that means really but that's what Steve told us." She'd cackled at that and called him a grandad, finishing the call wishing them good luck.

She'd wanted to scream when she saw the lads walking onto the red carpet, but she couldn't because she was hidden away in her office with her earphones on after having excused herself for her lunch break. She'd asked Lydia to postpone the two meetings she had later that day so that she could get away with watching the entire award show without interruptions.

And it had been fun, watching the lads perform 'R U Mine?' with the massive AM blazing trails in the other stage. She was amazed at the grandiosity of it all, and she couldn't begin to imagine how hot it must've gotten in that venue due to the fire.

They all looked so good, despite the very different attire they had on. And she was, of course, very biased when she thought just how stunning Alex looked—with that metallic green blazer over a black button down, that he had the top open to showcase the golden chain he always wore, black jeans and his hair styled the usual way.

Whilst the rest of the show went ahead, she mindlessly listened to it in the background as she replied to emails. It wasn't until the 'British Group' category was announced that she went back to put her whole focus on the stream and she squeaked in excitement when Lily Allen announced the Monkeys were the winners.

Ella went from chuckling stupidly at Alex's smolder to cooing over Jamie and Katie sharing a peck, just like Matt and Bre did, to then snort out loud when Alex started his speech. Her snort morphed into a string of giggles that ended in a cackle when he said the last sentence, and she shook her head entirely amused watching them walk back to their table.

Yet, she hadn't expected to laugh even louder when the next category they'd been nominated to came on, Album of the Year, and they won again—this time she'd thought Alex would actually give out a speech about the record but she was comically surprised with an improvised rant about rock 'n' roll that even the lads were giggling about behind the singer.

The way he had to mute his own cursing while thanking everyone had her in stitches already but it was the sudden mic drop by the end of it that made her have to cover her mouth with her hand so she didn't laugh louder than needed.

When she caught her breath back, she reached for her phone and typed a quick message to take the piss out of him for it all.

(19/02/2014 14:06) You're so fucking funny. That speech was something else and the mic drop just brought it all together. Congratulations you clown, so proud of y'all xxxx

She'd gone back to work after she sent that text and eagerly waited for his response, one that came when she was about to exit her office and that had her smiling like an idiot.

(19/02/2014 14:19) I might be a tad tipsy but I'm glad you enjoyed it, love xxx And thank you darling, love you so much xxxxxx Wish you were here :((( xxxxx

That 'love' had assured that her loopy smile stuck on her face for the rest of the day and she had ended up laughing at herself because of the stupid effect he had on her.

She felt pathetic in the best way possible.

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By the time the end of February rolled around, Ella had gotten a nice surprise.

Alice was in Los Angeles to record some songs for Pale Waves' sophomore album and Ella was honestly excited to have a friend over on her side of the pond after being away from everyone for so long.

Pale Waves had stopped touring with AM after the holiday break ended, so that they could focus on finishing their album and Alice had gotten a massive opportunity to travel to LA to work with one of her favorite producers.

The singer had let Ella know a few days before she was due to land on American soil and Ella had made sure to align her schedule to Alice's so that at least they could hang out once or twice while she was there.

It had been on the 26th that Alice had a free day so Ella had taken the day off from work to take Alice around the city and catch up. The girls hadn't seen each other in so long and they only texted ever so often so a lengthy chat was pending.

That was all it really was to Ella: catching up with a friend and making sure that she enjoyed her stay in the city. Nothing more.

Ella had picked her up in the morning and they'd had a lovely breakfast at a cafe by the beach, coffee and pastries shared over mainly work talk. They walked over to the beach and sat down as they watched surfers take on the cold water to ride some waves and Alice let her listen to some demos she had brought to work on when she got there, and a few songs she and her band had already finished.

After they'd spent a fair few hours there, and the sun started bothering them, Ella guided them back to her car and took her to a place she'd recently grown to love more than before: Sunken City.

Yes, it was prohibited to be there and she was risking police fines every time she went but the beauty of the ruins was unmatched and she figured Alice deserved to see a place like it, Ella knew she'd enjoy it.

They'd had to look for a parking spot a bit far away from the place and act very casually as they walked towards the ruins.

Both girls acknowledged the few people there with a tilt of their chins and a soft smile came to their faces when they saw the strangers there doing just what they both were planning on doing, smoking.

Alice had rolled a pair of joints in the car before they walked out to make their way to the intriguing place, and they were planning on carefully trekking around to find a good spot and smoke for a bit before Ella had to drop Alice off back at the hotel she was staying at.

"What was this then?" Alice asked, intrigued by the graffiti on the sides of big rocks that looked humanly impossible to have been put together.

Ella had Alice's hand in hers as she guided them both around, taking careful steps since she knew slipping and falling over would end up poorly, the other arm stretched out to the side so she'd have some help with her balance.

It was good Alice had decided to change her usual platform heeled boots for some flat doc martens that were much safer in this situation.

"This used to be part of the neighborhood back in the 1920s, but there was a landslide in '29 that took a bunch of the houses here into the ocean and people had to relocate." Ella explained softly as she focused on the last few feet she had to get to her favorite spot there.

When she reached it, she carefully pulled Alice closer and sat down at the edge of the tall flat rock first before she could help Alice sit down next to her. The shoulders almost pressed together, their thighs brushing against each other.

"After people moved away, they demolished what was left of the houses and nature just left this after decades." With quickness, Ella took the lighter from her jeans pocket and offered it to Alice. The singer had the joints in her possession so she took them out and offered one of them to Ella, placing the other one between her lips and lighting it up before giving Ella the cowboy boot shaped trinket back.

Ella lit her joint alive and took a long drag, watching Alice take in every bit of the view as she let out the smoke she'd inhaled. "Isn't it gorgeous?" The sky was changing due to the sun coming down to rest on the horizon, a soft orange and pink coming to life behind clouds and it was a promise of a picture perfect sunset to come soon.

Alice hummed, it was eerie yet stunning. Trying to make out the street art on the ruins was becoming distracting as the weed started relaxing her system, her eyes catching the rusted spray paint cans discarded in between the creases of the rocks.

"You come here often?" Alice frowned when she realized how familiar Ella seemed with the place and it honestly surprised her because Ella didn't seem like the type to frequent places like this. Especially not when a huge 'no trespassing' sign welcomed you into the place.

Ella chuckled in amusement at her clear confusion, and took another drag before she answered, "I do now, yeah. I had only driven past twice before but one of my friends from work managed to convince me to come here to take some pictures at the start of the year and after he taught me how and when to come in without getting caught by the police, I've been coming here to clear my head."

Alice snickered in amusement, lifting her joint and waving it briefly in the air to mock, "Clear your head, yeah?"

Rolling her eyes and turning to look straight at Alice, Ella scoffed, "Shut up. You do just the same to clear your head."

Alice cocked her head at Ella's raised brow that felt like a challenge to refute her words. The singer only shrugged with a low chuckle, placing the spliff back between her lips to inhale and a smirk formed on her face after she let the smoke out.

"Amongst other things." Alice teased, her pupils dilating as she stared right into Ella's eyes and she purposely let her gaze drop to her lips.

Ella knew exactly what she was doing, so she smirked to herself and replied with a sarcastic, "Yeah, I'm sure." as if she was fully disinterested.

But Alice made Ella's breath hitch in her throat when she confidently let her hand come over Ella's clothed thigh and squeezed as she said, "You know."

She squirmed in her place when a rush of heat tingled all the way down her spine, nodding mindlessly when she replied, "I do."

Her eyes fell on Alice's lips and she gulped at the proximity they found themselves in. The magnetism Alice had was something that Ella couldn't really explain.

"You really do." Alice added, leaning closer into Ella's space.

Their lips brushed once, Alice teasing Ella with a taste of the feeling of their lips together again and Ella was finally the one to fully close the distance. It had been a while since they'd shared a kiss so Ella's memories of back then flashed to the forefront of her mind in a split second, like the singular touch of their tongues melting together was enough of a deja vu to undo a box of memories that reeled through her mind like a film.

It didn't take long until they started being vocal, gasps for air and soft moans that they swallowed, and it all encouraged them to use their free hands for something. Alice let her hand wander up Ella's thigh until she got closer to her heat and she silently instructed Ella to open her legs. All while Ella rubbed up and down Alice's silky skin, feeling the goosebumps that broke on it from their kiss and cheekily letting her fingers wander to the insides of her thighs and up until she hit the hem of her shorts, only to make Alice a bit louder.

However, all of the sudden, as if her brain was begging her to remember, the memory of the kiss she'd shared with Alex at the airport managed its way through and made her stop.

Ella had pulled Alice slowly until the singer had lifted herself up and was about to straddle her when Ella harshly pulled back and broke the kiss, hurriedly saying, "Allie– No. I can't."

Alice saw the way the color drained from Ella's face and she quickly sat back down beside her, a frown taking over her expression and she genuinely asked Ella, "Are you okay?"

In Ella's brain there was a horrendous turmoil that had shook her. A heavy weight of guilt came down on her chest and almost made her wheeze out for a breath. She nodded as she struggled to get herself together, her words came out choked out thanks to her dry mouth and throat, "Erm, yeah. I just– I'm sorry."

She felt the need to apologize because, after all, she had been the one to start the kiss. But Alice wouldn't have that, so she shook her head and brushed Ella's hair behind her ear and shoulder, "Ella, don't apologize." She kissed her shoulder softly in reassurance and smiled sweetly at her to add, "You don't owe me a thing, no need to apologize."

"It's just, I–" Ella tried to explain, but she didn't know how to even begin to put the mess of thoughts together into coherent sentences.

Alice shook her head once more and with her hand coming back to rest over her leg, this time she let it innocently rub soothing circles on her skin as she continued calming her down, "You don't have to explain anything to me baby, it's okay."

The singer could almost hear the erratic thumping of Ella's heart because of how quiet the director had gotten. The dancing of the waves on the shore took over, as well as the birds flying over them and the chatter of the strangers they'd walked past earlier.

"Don't go quiet on me, it's fine." Alice broke the silence after letting Ella revel in it for a few minutes, they were about to finish their spliffs and Alice took the hanging of Ella's shoulders as a sign of her relaxing again. She knew she'd have to be the one to push her out of the pit she'd thrown herself into so she playfully nudged her and encouraged, "C'mon, tell me about how it was the first time you came here and how badly you were shitting yourself about it."

Hearing Ella laugh over her choice of words was music to Alice's ears and, just like that, they spent the rest of their time there. Lighting up cigarettes after their joints were finished, chuckling and admiring the sunset beautifully forming in front of them.

Before they left, they took a quick few pictures together. They had no idea when it would be that they'd see each other again so they wanted to keep a memory. Cheek to cheek, they posed for Alice's camera and they took a few selfies like that. The first ones were just of them smiling, and then Alice stuck her tongue out as Ella made a kissy face—the singer's tongue poked at Ella's pursed lips making her giggle after the shutter was pressed. In amusement, Ella copied Alice and stuck her tongue out too, letting their tongues touch shamelessly for the camera.

The sunset had long before it would die down but Ella knew it was around this time of the day that the cops came to check on the place, so she rushed them both out of the place and when they got to the car she breathed in relief. It was always like that when she went to Sunken City, she wasn't a rule-breaking girl even if she tried to.

As she started the car, Ella made Alice send her the pictures to her email and the singer did just that. Ella would've taken a few with her own phone but it had run out of battery, unfortunately. On the way back to her hotel, Alice took over the aux and she enjoyed introducing Ella to music she had never really heard before—she took a video of Ella bobbing her head and humming along Blink-182.

Meanwhile, Alex was sitting at a circular table with the rest of the band, along with Bre, Katie and Kelly, and he was rather tipsy at the NME Awards. They had already accepted three awards and they were fucking buzzing with energy—and alcohol. He couldn't stop his fingers from sending a bunch of texts and he kept them coming despite Ella's lack of replies.

It wasn't until he was at the afterparty, once he had found himself in a boring conversation he could tune out, that he pulled out his phone to check for the hundredth time if Ella had replied that he checked Instagram and his heart had dropped to the ground at what he saw.

Alice had posted the selfie where she and Ella had their tongues out and captioned it 'always want a taste of my favourite cowgirl xxx' and right after, she'd posted the video of Ella dancing to a Blink-182—he had excused himself and brought his phone speaker up to his ear to hear the video and he rolled his eyes in anger hearing their laughter and Alice singing and encouraging Ella to keep dancing with the sweet talk she always gave the American girl.

The jealousy streaming through his veins was bitter and hot, and it was enough to cloud the excitement of having won six awards that night.

His thoughts started going into the worst direction and he was fucking fuming just thinking about how he was almost entirely certain they'd shagged again.

Alex stomped on the bud of the cigarette with fury and he started throwing back drinks consistently all through the rest of the night.

All the alcohol he ingested backfired on him and he had ended up drunk dialing Ella's phone way too many times, until he passed out on top of his bed in the same clothes he'd worn all night.

When he woke up, his mind was foggy enough to have forgotten about just what had sent him down a spiral, but when he groaned as he lifted himself up on the bed and checked on his phone, a text from Ella brought it all back and he just wanted to be sick right then and there.

(26/02/2014 20:54) Sweets, I'm so sorry I didn't answer your calls! My phone died and I only just got back home from spending the day with Alice. I'm really tired, honestly, and I bet you're asleep by now so I'll call you tomorrow okay? Love you and congratulations!!!! Don't let the 'hero of the year' award get to your head though, it's already big as it is ;)) xx

If 'spending the day with Alice' wasn't clear proof that she had shagged the singer, Alex didn't know what it was. Out of pettiness he didn't reply, leaving Ella on read the rest of the day and he watched the phone ring and ring multiple times in the evening but he never answered her calls.

He felt ridiculous but he was angry and he knew he had no legs to stand on but he just couldn't help himself. Though, he knew he shouldn't be directing his annoyance at Ella. He didn't even want to think about how Alice fucking knew he had feelings for Ella and yet, she went ahead and fucked her, and rubbed it on his face again.

His fingers hurt and felt numb by the end of the day from how hard he'd been clenching his fists all day thinking about the horrendous situation. The hangover he was sporting didn't help either, and the only thing he could rely on was the rich rainfall of warm water inside his shower where he spent almost an hour trying to calm down.

Before he went to bed, he warily sent her a text, one that sounded so disingenuous it made him cringe after he sent it.

(27/02/2014 17:26) Sorry, I've been so hungover I had to turn my phone off to be able to peacefully sleep it off. I'll call you when I start feeling like a person again. Thank you for the love, take care Ellie xx

Ella instantly knew something was off, and she wanted to be sick when she got that text while she was stuck in traffic on the way back home. She had a white knuckle grip on the steering wheel the rest of the way back, but she couldn't find a reason for his behavior. Despite her gut telling her the opposite, she had to attribute it to his supposed hangover, and she just hoped it was nothing else.

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When March came around, so did Breana and Matt. The couple arrived in the morning of the second day of the month and Ella had picked them up from the airport with a bright smile on her face.

Her heart swelled in her chest having the pair back in Los Angeles and they all had the best time having brunch in West Hollywood before they went back to Bre's house. There they sat down in front of a flat screen and played the Arabella music video which had just come out an hour before.

Ella had gasped at the sudden lewdness of the video and by the time it ended, she asked so many questions about how it had been to shoot all that. She'd subtly asked about the scenes that Alex had to film, since she was still playing on loop the scene of Alex walking into a woman changing and it had left her uncomfortably squirming in her place. Thankfully, this time Matt hadn't chosen to joke around and actually told her how different it had been and Ella found herself curious about the director's methods.

The rest of the day had been spent catching up and Ella had been the one surprised by the news that Matt and Bre had decided to look for a house in Los Angeles and move in together. Ella had squeaked in excitement and hugged them both tightly, joking about how she'd have to go into whichever place they would decide to go for with gloves because she was sure the first thing they would do would be christening every corner and surface of that house.

By the end of the night, they'd been sleepily brainstorming what could be done for Bre's birthday and they had decided to just go to a pub or a club and celebrate there, knowing how long it had been since they'd partied together, Matt agreed saying it was a needed evening after all that time.

So when the fifth of March rolled around, they had found themselves, along with a handful of Bre's friends, at a club where they celebrated the birthday girl. Ella hadn't planned on drinking that much but Bre kept convincing her of taking shot after shot and she'd ended up giggling uncontrollably as they danced.

When Ella had been sent for another round of shots though, a guy came up to her and started chatting her up and she'd flushed much more than usual thanks to the alcohol in her blood. The guy had ended up saving his number in her phone and making sure to have her call him, to which Ella hesitantly agreed.

Bre had seen it all and she'd asked all about it but Ella didn't have much to say, the guy and every word he uttered was so forgettable that the whole interaction slipped her mind and she just shrugged when she mentioned he'd given her his number.

Ella had let herself forget about it until the day of her birthday.

She'd decided to just stay in that day, inviting a few of her work friends over as well as Bre and Matt. There were multiple wine bottles and a few snack plates as well as charcuterie boards, so it was gonna be a calm night of pure chatter and good food.

It was around eleven in the evening that Bre decided to bring the cake she'd gotten Ella and light up some candles to sing her happy birthday, before some of her friends left. So Matt facetimed Alex from his phone to make sure he was present for that moment, like he had promised the drummer to do earlier when he had called to wish Ella a happy birthday.

Alex had stayed on the phone for a longer time though, hearing as Ella's co-workers left after midnight, wishing her happy birthday and thanking her for a lovely night. He'd been smiling the whole time and he had laughed along with Bre, Ella and Matt when the three of them were the only ones left at Ella's house.

They'd started cleaning up by the time the clock hit one in the morning and, since it wasn't really that entertaining, Matt had let Alex go. Alex said bye to Bre and wished Ella a happy birthday one last time before he hung up the phone, and it was just as he was hearing Matt promising to call him in the next few days, that he heard Breana saying something that just felt like another knife to the heart.

"Why didn't that guy from the other night come? I thought you were gonna invite him."

He didn't even get a chance to hear Ella's response because Matt ended the call, and he wallowed in self pity for no reason because Ella had shrugged and waved her best friend's question off by clearing up, "I didn't even call him after all. Wasn't really interested, if I'm being honest."

Yet, Alex hadn't heard those words and he was left thinking about it the rest of his day. But this time, he didn't let his jealousy turn into a cold shoulder treatment, because in all honesty it had been painful to read the meek messages he sent her after he saw Alice's posts. He'd remembered how badly he'd fucked up that night at the pub when Ella was in London and he didn't want a repeat of that so he had eventually had to suck it up and force himself to go back to normal.

So he knew he could swallow it and move on, it was hard ignoring the ache in his chest though. He shook his head at himself when he found his thoughts going back to the words Bre had said and forcing himself to stop thinking about it was a challenge, but he had to remind himself that he was in no position to react like that and that if he let it poorly show like he had before, he could fuck things up.

And that was the last thing he needed.

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The rest of March and the start of April had been filled with everyone throwing great news around and the smiles seemed to be always present in everyone's faces.

Nick and Kelly had surprised the group with the news of a baby on the way, making Ella and Bre cry on facetime when they called and showed the scan pictures of the baby growing in Kelly's belly.

Jamie and Katie had been finishing up the last details of their wedding and the American girls had gotten loads of pictures of every single dress Katie had tried on throughout her dress shopping week that she spent going from shop to shop accompanied by her family, Florence and Kelly.

Bre and Matt had managed to put an offer on a house in Hollywood Hills that they fell in love with and they had gotten it accepted, meaning they just had to endure about a fortnight of paperwork in order to close the sale and finally say the house was theirs.

It was when Bre and Matt finally got the keys to their house and were able to take out the 'sold' sign out of the grass by the mailbox, that they invited everyone over for the weekend so that they could celebrate everyone's news.

Nick, Jamie, Kelly and Katie had all been in the same flight so they arrived together at Matt and Bre's new house in the early afternoon of a Friday in the middle of April. Alex had basically spent most of his time back home doing a press tour due to the rise of the record—their label wanting the band to go around doing interviews and magazine covers and articles to ride the high of it all—but he had done it all alone, and he had a radio interview in the morning of that very Friday so he had to leave in a later flight and got there late in the evening.

They'd planned a barbecue for Saturday and since the new house was so close to the Universal Studios amusement park, they were all thinking of spending the first half of the day there until they had to leave so everyone was ready for their late night flight back home on Sunday.

Ella had woken up early and gone to the shops to get snacks and drinks and whatever else she thought they might need, making sure to not forget the housewarming gifts she'd bought for the couple: a funny welcome mat that said 'come in' but if it was flipped upside down it changed into 'go away', a box of condoms and a fun little set of leather cuffs. Ella had giggled when picking the things up and she'd giggled some more when wrapping them up.

She cursed the couple a few times when stuck in traffic for deciding to live so far away from her, but when she got there and saw Bre and Matt open the door and wave at her as she pulled into the driveway, Ella cooed at the image.

"I'm so fucking happy for you two." Ella said after she crashed into them and wrapped them in a group hug, her eyes closed and a big smile on her face.

Bre dropped a kiss on her cheek at the same time as Matt said, "Thank you Ellie."

When Ella pulled back, she smirked, "I might place some bets in a bit. See how fast you manage to knock her up."

Matt's smirk showed instantly on his face and Bre cackled next to him. He proudly puffed his chest out and shrugged nonchalantly as he replied, "Well it's not like we aren't practicing."

"Of course you are. Filthy bitches." Ella joked with a giggle stuck in her throat, but before she could continue her taunting, she turned around to head back to her car, calling out behind her, "C'mon Matthew, help me with the things I brought."

The drummer followed her but scolded her for going against what they'd told her the previous day on the phone, "Ella, we told you we got everything."

And Ella clearly remembered them saying how they had everything covered and that the only thing they needed was her to be there but she wouldn't have that, she wasn't showing up empty handed. So she easily sing-sang, "Don't care!" as she walked up to her car and opened the trunk.

Matt was handed a pair of grocery bags with a few pints of ice cream and a few cuts of meat, managing to carry a strawberry cheesecake she'd bought for everyone to have later and Bre came up to them when she saw the big beer case that was left to be brought out of the boot of the car. Ella thanked them before she grabbed the gifts and her big bag with clothes and a towel for her to use after the pool.

Before she went out to the backyard, she helped put the ice cream, beer and the cheesecake in the fridge whilst Matt took the meat to the barbecue to season it and start cooking it along with the rest of food they had outside.

Bre showed Ella the array of alcohol they had already cooled in the fridge, but Ella opted to start it calmly with just a beer.

When she walked out through the open sliding doors, she was met with a scene that she'd missed very much. The chatter full of thick accents and those laughs she knew so well flooded her with a warm sense of familiarity and she almost wanted to cry.

"Hi!!!" She loudly greeted everyone, her smile so big that her eyes creased at the edges.

A chorus of "Ella!" was heard and everyone scrambled around to come up to her and greet her with hugs that swelled her heart with love.

She'd spent a little longer hugging Nick and Kelly, tearing up when touching the little bump that Kelly was sporting at about fifteen weeks. And those tears had managed to slip down her cheeks when she finally got her arms around Alex's frame.

"Missed you, sweets." She whispered in his ear, sniffling after the words left her lips and rubbing her thumb over the fabric of his white shirt.

Alex swayed them softly for a few seconds before plating a chaste kiss on her cheek and pulling away to reciprocate, "Me too darling."

The first thing they did was start the barbecue so that they could eat before getting in the pool as they waited for the sun to rise higher and burn brighter on them all.

The lads proudly showed Ella the High Green sign they had managed to put up on the wall right by where the grill was placed, and she giggled at their excitement only to run to her bag and get her camera to take a picture of them all in front of it.

As they waited for the food to cook, they sat down on the lounge chairs and caught up on what they'd all been up to. Everyone was more focused on Nick and Kelly's story about how they found out about the baby and what had been said on the first scan they'd had, so most of the conversation was centered on the little O'Malley who, according to the doctor, was coming at the end of September.

The food had been thoroughly enjoyed, loud chatter and laughter joined the chirping of the birds and the sway of the leaves from the wind, which was doing little to keep them fresh thanks to the sun now burning down on their skins. Most of everyone's clothes had been discarded so that they could be fresh as they ate and drank but eventually it got too hot and Matt was the first one to jump into the pool.

Bre and Katie followed shortly after, jumping in hand in hand and swiftly coming back up with bright smiles on their faces. Nick had taken the path of going down the stairs by the shallow end of the pool and he had expected Kelly to do the same but she jumped in just like the girls had done. Everyone laughed at the way Nick's face fell in shock and the deep breath he took after Kelly came back up.

Ella was finishing the last of her steak before getting in the pool when Alex stood up and shed himself off his shoes and his shirt which had already been fully opened. She'd been trying not to gawk at his figure even if she wouldn't be obvious behind her sunglasses, so she'd forced herself to keep her gaze on her plate as she stabbed on the last cut of meat she had.

That's why she hadn't noticed the way everyone in the pool exchanged mischievous looks with the singer.

Alex startled her by wrapping his arms firmly around her middle from the back and she'd gasp after swallowing the last bite of food she had in her mouth.

"Alex don't!" She pleaded in desperation, she dropped her plate on the chair beside her hip and that was when he finally picked her up and started walking forwards with her in his arms.

Ella squirmed in his hold, kicking her legs but it did nothing to have him put her down. If anything, she was only accentuating just how close they were because the more she moved, the more she felt him clearly against her.

Her cheeks tinted pink and she got hotter as he got closer to the edge of the deep end, and she heard him chuckle in her ear after she begged once more, "Please, Alex! Don't!"

But before she could try her luck once more, Alex leaped forward and made the both of them jump into the pool together.

She came up with a gasp and took a deep breath before turning around to find Alex and shove him, "You bitch!"

The laughter was loud around them, and Alex looked far too pleased with his actions. The corners of his lips pulled up in a gorgeous toothy grin that made her melt and she let herself come back down into the water to cool her face and brush her hair backwards.

She realized then that her glasses were gone so she scoffed as soon as she came up to the surface, "Alex!" She whined loudly, "My sunglasses!"

The cackles that her words elicited were obnoxiously loud but she sucked it up when the singer looked down and instantly dove down to find them. The group watched Alex's blurry silhouette move under the water until he came up with the black shades in hand and a soft smile.

He purposely got close to her and wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her in when he came back afloat, "Sorry, darling. Here you go." He said smoothly, handing her the sunglasses which she took with a glare but she still wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

"Thanks." She muttered before putting the glasses back on, her stoic face being a challenge to keep on when he left a wet kiss on her cheek.

Bre had elbowed Matt before he could say anything about the pair because she knew her boyfriend was just biting his tongue to tease them about their proximity. Instead, she chose to start a conversation about their plans for the next day and suggested a visit to Universal Studios since they were merely fifteen minutes away from the place.

From then on, conversation had flowed smoothly and the next few hours had been spent drinking and chatting, laughing and smoking. Music had started playing from a speaker Matt brought out sometime in the middle of the afternoon and it kept playing until they decided to act like children and start chicken fighting.

Kelly had opted out so she and Nick had been assigned as 'referees' to 'keep an eye out on the fairness of each round', or whatever Matt had said along those lines.

Bre had managed to knock Ella down the first round, undoubtedly because Matt had kicked Alex and made him falter so Ella was thrown off balance and fell backwards into the water.

So while Ella waited to see who she had to fight next, from Bre and Katie who were currently fighting, she'd gotten lost in the way the sunshine gleamed on the girls' skins and how stunning they both looked.

No one could or should blame her for staring really—the two girls were models and for a damn reason.

She'd been lost appreciating their features being accentuated by the golden sunlight that Alex's touch suddenly on her face made her heart jump out of her chest.

His right hand cupped her jaw and he turned her face to the side so she could look at him, fingers firmly on her skin and, when his thumb came up to brush against her bottom lip, her breath hitched in her throat.

This is it, she thought. All that was going through her mind was how it would be then that he'd kiss her again. And she was certain that she would collapse right then and there.

Except, when Alex leaned forward, he never closed the distance. Instead, he opened his mouth to whisper, "You're drooling a bit there, darling." in a mocking manner after having found her gawking at the girls.

Suddenly, his touch was gone and so was he, only leaving her with the warm breath that left his lips as he chuckled to hit her parted mouth.

Ella had no idea why she felt so defeated by the turn of events and she cursed herself for being an idiot and getting her hopes up with suck quickness.

She had to act like nothing had happened, gulping harshly and rolling her eyes, turning her head back around to watch the girls, but she wasn't watching anymore. Not really. Her gaze was stuck somewhere in the background, staring into a brick wall as she bit the inside of her cheek and the feeling of her heart dropping and her blood running suddenly cold made her shiver.

Swimming to the stairs, she came out of the pool and poured herself a shot of whiskey. She tossed it back in a split second, hissing to herself when it burned down her throat and then she walked up to her bag to get herself a cigarette. She needed the sweet relief of nicotine so desperately then, to numb herself down a little—she wished she'd brought some weed with her.

"Idiot." She mumbled to herself when she couldn't get the lighter to spark, having to let out a deep sigh before trying again and when it finally lit up the end of her cigarette a familiar orange hue, she took a long and deep drag.

After that, every touch that Alex left on her skin, deliberate or not, burned like a cigarette burn that she was so painfully aware of. Each brush of his fingers sparked more doubts in her mind, she was so distracted by her own stupid worries that she was trying so hard to ignore, that she'd missed many words directed at her.

The latest one being Katie asking her if she could help her bring the dessert out for everyone. Ella apologized for making her repeat herself but nodded as enthusiastically as she could and followed the model inside to get the cheesecake out of the fridge.

Singing along to a Stones song that was playing outside, Katie and Ella worked steadily as they cut a piece of dessert for everyone to enjoy. There was something about cutting the pieces of cake that reminded Katie of her upcoming wedding and that's when the realization came to her that she hadn't told Ella the good news.

"Wait, did we tell you we have a date for the wedding yet?" The knife hung in the air as the model looked at Ella with eyes wide, praying that she had told her but just forgotten.

But Ella shook her head and smiled at Katie so she wouldn't worry about it, "No! When is it?"

Still, Katie's face fell and the color of her cheeks paled a bit as she apologized, "Oh god, I'm so sorry." She quickly plated the last piece before dropping the knife on the sink and then grabbing Ella delicately by the shoulders, "It's on May 15th, please tell me you can come."

The specific date rang in Ella's head and her memory itched with the faint knowledge of something happening around those days. She didn't really remember though, so she asked, "Is it here?" before she could check her calendar.

"London." Katie answered quickly, "This venue we really wanted but were waitlisted for called us last week and told us they'd gotten a cancellation for that day and we just said yes."

The elation shined through Katie's face and it melted Ella's insides, "Awh, I'm so happy that worked out for y'all."

Katie pulled her in for a hug and mumbled against her ear, "I know, we're buzzing too. But please tell me you can come."

"I think I have something scheduled for May but I don't think anything important." Ella commented before pulling away from the hug, knowing she'd have to make sure on her calendar and since it was outside, she pointed towards the sliding door and said, "Let me check." before walking quickly towards her bag to retrieve her phone.

When she was back in the kitchen, Katie watched expectantly as Ella skimmed through her phone. Her heart dropped right with Ella's when she watched Ella's smile falter to then curse under her breath, "Oh shit."

"Don't tell me it's bad news." Katie pleaded, as if she didn't know Ella's expression meant just that.

Ella cringed when she looked up and sighed heavily, "I have a shoot that whole week and the next one."

"Can you reschedule?" Katie asked quickly, even though it seemed almost impossible if the shoot was two weeks long.

Ella considered the possibility for a split second but she remembered the long document she'd signed and she remembered reading something about there not being a possibility to change the dates of the shoots, "I signed a contract..."

Katie started fiddling with her fingers, trying to come up with a solution, "We'll pay whatever the penalty for infringing it is– You have to be there!"

Ella pouted and nodded in agreement but she went back to her phone to find the contract and see what exactly it said. She frowned as she searched through her email, giving Katie a quick rundown on what the ambitious project was for, "The contract is with the university I went to. We're shooting this short film in Boston and submitting it to the Los Angeles film festival."

"So you can't come?" Katie barely mumbled, as if saying it louder would mean it to be true.

But, the volume of their words didn't matter because Ella found the ten page document and when she found the section talking about bookings and flights and venues, she winced and bit the inside of her cheek as she read over and over to understand that the answer wasn't gonna help at all.

"I'm afraid I can't, no." Flights and accommodation had already been booked, locations to film had already been separated and the proper city permits for the project had been granted for those dates, making it all impossible to be pushed to another date. "Fuck..."

Katie pouted, her heart heavy in her chest and she walked the few steps that separated her from Ella to envelope the director in a hug, "I'm so sad now."

"I'm sorry." Ella mumbled, hating that she would have to miss such an important event for her friends.

Katie didn't want Ella to think it was on her though, so she pulled back and shook her head, "No, babe, you're fine. This is so last minute, don't worry." Katie could also see how big of a thing that shoot would be for Ella and her career so she wouldn't want her to feel like she had to pull out of the project for their wedding. It didn't mean she wasn't devastated by the knowledge of her absence that day, "Just heartbroken you won't be there."

Placing her phone on the kitchen counter, Ella clutched Katie tightly to herself and agreed, "I know, me too."

With two plates in hand each, Katie and Ella walked outside and handed the dessert around. There were still four more plates to bring so the girls walked back into the kitchen to grab the last of them.

As she was about to hold two plates, Ella stopped in her tracks and turned to Katie with a suggestion, "Wait. How about I compensate for this?"

"What?" Katie asked, confused.

"For not going to your wedding."

Katie's brows rose in understanding and then she waved Ella off softly, "It's not your fault, you don't have to compensate for anything."

Ella nodded, coming to terms with that but a smirk showed on her face when she pushed, "Okay but let me be able to participate somehow."

Her smirk was contagious, a soft one pulling at Katie's corners of her lips as she said, "Right, I'm listening."

She had no idea what to expect and it was a nice surprise when the American girl suggested, "Do you wanna have a photoshoot tomorrow?" with a cheeky grin on her face.

A soft "Oh?" left Katie's lips at the idea of it.

She was about to say yes, not really a doubt in mind that a photoshoot with Ella would be a dream, but when Ella mischievously added, "We'll need to buy some things in fun stores but I reckon it'll be a good wedding gift." then it clicked in Katie's head what the girl was suggesting.

"Is this what I think it is?" Katie whispered, as if the naughty idea that had been thrown in the air wordlessly was meant to be kept secret.

Ella giggled at Katie's eager face and nodded, "Yeah."

"Okay, deal." Katie put her hand out for Ella to share, which she did with a louder string of giggles and when it was settled, Katie squeaked softly and added, "Oh I'm so excited!"

Finally grabbing the last four plates, they walked back outside. There, they handed those who were missing their sweet food and when Katie sat beside Ella at the edge of the pool with their feet dipped in the warm water, the model gave everyone the sad news.

As soon as Katie said Ella wasn't gonna be able to attend, everyone loudly talked over each other but the main word everyone had said was, "Why?" so Ella easily explained the reasoning behind it all.

With pouts and grimaces on their faces, the group came around to understanding after a wave of possible solutions that were just too much of an inconvenience for both parties.

"I'll steal Katie tomorrow, if you don't mind Cookie." Ella let the guitarist know, trying to hide the smirk that appeared on her face by eating the last of her cake slowly. "You know, to make it up to her."

Jamie stared at the pair with curiosity, he could see that they were planning something but he had no clue what it could be, so he joked, "And when are you making it up to me?"

Ella had to press her lips together not to give it all away, and she forced herself to act nonchalant as she shrugged, "Soon, I suppose."

Jamie hummed, narrowing his eyes at her and then his fiance but when they only giggled to each other and said nothing else, he figured he would be able to find out what it would be soon enough.

That night, after spending more hours messing about in the pool with alcohol and lit cigarettes in hand, Ella and Katie left to go back to Ella's house.

Before they could go to sleep, Ella went online and booked a hotel room, one that they both liked and that thankfully was close to The Grove so that they could go shopping and then to their shooting location quicker.

Going shopping for lingerie with Katie was fun. Ella had never been one to feel properly comfortable going into one of the stores because she always felt watched and judged but being there with Katie, who had actually pushed her into the changing rooms so that she could also try some sets and cute babydolls, was entertaining and Ella enjoyed herself.

"These are gonna look gorgeous dusting away in my closet." Ella joked as they left with an arm full of shopping bags each. "Thank you though, that was fun." Katie kissed her cheek loudly and, after taking a break to go grab something to eat, they got some gorgeous heels for Katie to wear.

After getting to the hotel and checking in, everything had gone incredibly smoothly and it just brought the biggest smiles to their faces. Katie trusted her wholeheartedly and she was a model so this wasn't her first rodeo, therefore it all added to the easy and enjoyable journey the afternoon was being.

The thing about boudoir photography was that it was tricky to find that balance between erotic and mysterious, showing much more than usual but keeping it enticing and evoking lust, hunger and passion. But with a woman like Katie posing for the camera, Ella found it so easy to play in so many different angles and spaces that just worked on the subtle storyline they were keeping for it.

By the time the clock hit five in the afternoon, the girls took the last of the pictures and once the sun started to set, they got everything they'd brought and went back downstairs to the lobby to check out and rush back to Matt and Bre's house.

When they got there, everyone was ready to head to the airport. Multiple suitcases were waiting by the door whilst everyone was having one last drink in the living room as they waited for Katie and Ella to come back. Thankfully, Katie had taken her case with her so she'd put everything away in the hotel before coming back so that she'd be ready to go when they stepped foot in the house.

The minute Bre stepped back into the living room with Ella and Katie in tow, everyone downed the last of their drinks and scrambled to get their things and leave as soon as they could. Their flight was leaving in a few hours, and they knew just how busy LAX would be on a Sunday night.

That was why the goodbyes exchanged were hasty and brief. They got the eight minutes it took for the big van they'd ordered to take them to the airport as the time to bid each other farewell.

Katie squeezed Ella tightly before she got inside the vehicle and Jamie had cheekily asked what they'd done as he hugged Ella goodbye, only to get a giggle and an obviously faux, "I don't know." as an answer.

Kelly and Nick briefly trapped her in a hug and Ella made them promise to come back soon so that she could do a little maternity shoot for them. Kelly cooed at the thought and took her up on the opportunity, making sure to promise that the second they'd plan on coming back, she'd be the first to know.

Alex, who had been helping Matt put the luggage in the back of the van, walked up to Ella last. She was still facing the van's open door so when he came up to her, he trapped her in a headlock and dipped his face so he could press a long kiss on her cheek.

The two couples inside the vehicle saw the way Ella's face lit up at the contact, her nose and eyes scrunching up and her lips pulled into a loopy grin.

Ella's arms wrapped instinctively around Alex's waist and she turned in his hold to hide her face in the crook of his neck. She left a few pecks there before she pulled back and whispered, "Be back soon okay? I'll miss you."

Alex's gaze went all over her face and she noticed the way the brown of his eyes gleamed when the lights of the house's porch hit them. She licked her lips subconsciously and, though his eyes dropped to see her plump pink mouth, he didn't close the distance.

Instead he nodded, pressing a kiss on her forehead and he mumbled, "Me too, so much." against her skin. The fact that he hadn't used this opportunity to kiss her made her thoughts tangle in confusion, she had thought that he'd be the one to make that first move considering she was the one to initiate it the last time.

Still, she let her eyes flutter close and inhale his scent, relishing in his hold and the force with which his fingers dug into her flesh like he didn't want to let go.

But he did. Leaving her exposed to the wind and her skin broke out in goosebumps when she watched him walk up and into the van, closing the door behind him.

Ella took a few steps backwards, until she stood beside Matt and Bre by the front door, and she waved them goodbye as the van started to move. She managed to see the singer blowing her a kiss through the polarized windows, her stomach flipping inside her as that familiar feeling of longing settled in her again. That same old weight on her chest that forced her to take a deep breath to be able to collect herself.

The second the vehicle was out of their sight, she turned around to look at Bre and Matt and sighed with a pout, "Well, I gotta go. I'm in work early tomorrow."

Bre whined when she said that and she hugged her so tight as she tried to convince her to stay that Ella'd had to beg Matt to save her from the model's hold. Matt hugged her just as tight but way shorter, only to bother her, before he jokingly ushered her away.

"Yeah no, off she goes. I have someone to do and many places for that to happen at."

Ella loudly gagged and flipped him off, "Disgusting!" She grabbed her keys from the back pocket of her jeans though and waved them goodbye, "Love ya'! See ya'!"

Even if she didn't want to know whatever they were going to do, she was so glad to see the couple smiling so brightly as she drove away. She lit up a cigarette, rolling down her window, to forget about how badly she missed that feeling of being madly in love—to forget about a certain person that came to her mind, and that kiss she'd wanted him to give her, only to squeeze her heart and make it ache more.

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It was merely a bit more than a week that Matt had stayed in Los Angeles, taking Breana with him to the Australia and New Zealand leg of the AM tour.

If Ella thought it had been horrendously difficult for her to keep up with Alex and the rest of the group when they were in Europe, she'd almost wanted to cry by the time half of the dates were done and she had barely spoken to him, or even Bre for that matter, a handful of times.

They'd never catch each other online, only seeing the messages each other sent hours before and it just multiplied the longing and the great feeling of the distance that separated them tenfold. It was so discouraging and to Ella it just felt like more cruel proof of why it was never gonna happen between them both. For Alex, the deep cut of his despair pushed him towards a sea of realizations that he was too afraid to navigate so he pushed the feelings to the back of his head for the time being.

Ella was following along their shows and whatever promo they were doing over on the other side of the world through Twitter, which had become her main source of updates, and that was how she'd found out Alex and Matt had spent one of their free days in between shows to go to a few radio shows.

One of them was Triple J, and she'd found a link to the full interview from some tweet going around.

With an idiotic smile on her face, Ella listened to Matt and Alex chatting to the radio host, laughing over the way Alex just let Matt take over for him and when the drummer would make him answer something, he'd purposely keep it brief and giving a 'boring answer' as he'd said himself after answering one of the questions.

After a few minutes of chat, the host introduced the acoustic version of 'Do I Wanna Know?' the lads were doing and she smiled like a fool when hearing the first strum of the guitar. She really loved this song.

Softly, she sang along, low enough to just enjoy Matt and Alex's voices. The lyrics were gorgeous and she found herself gushing over Alex's writing talent all over again. The 'darling's he sang made her tummy flutter and she felt the heat rushing to her cheeks.

When the song ended, Ella liked that they included a bit of them messing about and talking about other people's covers of the song they'd just performed, she giggled at the way Alex taunted Matt to answer for him and she wished she was there to actually ask him what he had actually thought of the Miley Cirus cover—one which she was gonna check out after she watched the next video.

The host announced a cover coming next and she was intrigued by the weird clue Matt had given the audience. It sounded like distorted audio and she was so curious to know. Though she still had a giggle at the random and funny chatter going around.

She made a mental note to ask for a 50 Cent song whenever she and the lads were out, because she gasped in surprise when Alex said he'd never experienced one of his songs in the club.

When Matt revealed it was a Tame Impala song, Ella felt her heart leap in her chest. After having a good laugh over Alex saying, "Oh my god, I've gone cross-eyed" as Matt explained all he had done to get that weird audio clip, Ella's hand started getting clammy when Alex said the song they were covering was one she knew very well because of him: 'Feels Like We Only Go Backwards'.

To the forefront of her mind came the memory of the time he had shown it to her, her heart racing again. She came back to reality when Alex said something weird and once she finally tuned in, she realized it was him saying Nick's full name backwards.

She relished in the amusement she got from the brief interaction and the proof that he was in fact saying the full name backwards correctly, but then the host transitioned that into the introduction for the cover and Ella froze in her place.

It was like she was holding her breath up until the first verse, her heart kicking faster against her ribcage like reminding her she needed to breathe.

That song had become something special for her, sometimes hurting a bit too much to hear it come on as it reminded her of the distance between them and all of her hopes dying like forgotten flowers, but hearing him singing it made something shift inside her.

The first verse felt like a shock of electricity, like she came alive by the underlying meaning behind having chosen this song. And when he sang the second one, she stupidly wondered about what it was that he did that showed he had made up his mind about her.

She felt like a fool, trying to find meaning behind a song he hadn't even written himself and then, something dawned on her.

It was like a little voice in her head was calling her a fool and shocked her alive again with the knowledge of what song had been performed before the cover and once Ella remembered the lines to the opening song of their latest record, she felt like the breath had been knocked out of her.

Hastily she went to rewind the video, only to find in the queue of the next videos just the actual video clip of them performing the song in acoustic at the radio station, so she quickly clicked on it and let it play.

Ella had never heard any song in the record thinking they were for or about her—with the exception of 'Arabella' and 'Snap Out Of It'—, but when she heard the first line to 'Do I Wanna Know?' trying to tie any meaning with herself, the first line was like being pulled out of the water after having been under for so long.

Have you got colour in your cheeks? She gasped, her shoulders hung and all she could think about was when did she not have her cheeks tinted shades of pink and red when she was around him.

'Cause there's this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow and I play it on repeat. She had no idea how it had flown over her head that it was those exact words he'd said to her when he made her listen to the Tame Impala song that night in Rancho de la Luna. And how she'd forgotten about the fact that she was pretty sure this song had been recorded after that night, almost by the end of their recording time.

Suddenly, the pre-chorus and the chorus felt like a knife to the heart. It had been there all along and she'd completely missed it and now she had no idea if it was too late. Was it too late? She didn't know if she could just ask that, if that would even work. And then, she wanted to cry over the fact that it would be a bit over a month until she could finally see him again.

Been wondering if your heart's still open and if so, I wanna know what time it shuts.She reckoned that meant him trying to figure out if she was open to something after going through her heartbreak, and she thought that him resorting to writing a song about it rather than actually telling her anything was exactly what he always did or so Florence said.

It made so much sense, and then Ella got curious about there being any other songs there in the record for her. She had no idea how to figure that out without reaching and turning entirely self-absorbed so to twist every line into something self-referential that wasn't at all what Alex had meant.

It's just I'm constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you, but I don't know if you feel the same as I do.She groaned and let her face fall on her hands and let out a pathetic squeaky cry of frustration. It took her back to the pool when he had cupped her jaw and turned her head to the side to look at him. She couldn't forget the rush she felt at the hope that sparked up her spine when he did that, the stupid hope for a kiss that never came. Not even when he left for the airport.

But we could be together if you wanted to. Her brows furrowed and she confusedly stared into her desk. Did it mean he had always left it up to her to make the next move? Did it mean he was waiting for her to say it all? She thought it was hardly fair, knowing how long it had taken her to put it all together. Hell, it had been well over a year since they had started recording the album and almost a year since they wrapped up recording and it was all ready to go.

Sighing, she let herself enjoy as much as she could there rest of the song, every line now rumbling the walls of her brain more intently and she knew she wouldn't be able to stop thinking about the meaning of it all and the what-ifs had she realized all of this before.

Once the song was done, it was a masochistic impulse that made her replay the video, only this time she focused on watching Alex as he sang. She cursed herself when she noticed the way she was gawking at Alex on the screen, her gaze going from focusing on his mouth to his hands and then taking in his whole appearance and biting her bottom lip. She had to focus on his face and what she could find shining through his face that could give her answers, and instead she was thirsting over him. As per usual.

When her second watch of the video was over, Lydia knocked on her door interrupting her train of thought, her PA's presence reminding her that she was at work and needed to get back on track.

So Ella couldn't really give into the full over-analysis of everything she wanted to keep doing, and she had to wait all the way until she left work for her to continue her horrendously confusing overthinking session.

She put on the AM cd to play in her car and tears ran down her cheeks by the time 'Arabella' came on. There were so many things she wanted to ask that she just couldn't because she wasn't brave enough to just call him and demand answers and it was frustrating.

It was beyond her understanding why she decided to even grab her phone and pull up Alex's contact to send a message that hinted at her having seen the radio show, hoping with all of her that it was enough for him to know she knew.

(08/05/2014 19:02) I'm so jealous, that beach looks wonderful sweetness!! Though I would be shitting it thinking about sharks, clearly I watch too many movies hahahah. Say hello to the guys for me, yeah? And tell Yellamo he better send me those tim tams he promised me xx

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The Cook's wedding came around rather quickly and it was quite noticeable that Ella's presence was missing that day.

Ella had been sad all morning, sulking in the provisional office they'd given her and the rest of the team in charge of the short film in Boston. Alex kept her updated by sending her loads of pictures around the venue and videos of him walking around, and he had even been begrudgingly allowed to go see the bride with Ella on facetime, she had teared up seeing Katie all done and ready in her gorgeous white gown.

Alex had been lured into staying so Ella could be part of the little toast Katie's family and friends did for her, even giving her the opportunity to partake in it and Katie blew her a kiss through the screen as a thanks for her lovely words.

When the singer went back to the groom's room, Ella congratulated Jamie profusely and wished him the best day of his life. The guitarist thanked her wholeheartedly and raised his champagne glass towards her before taking a sip in cheers to the well wishes.

Alex spared Ella from the ceremony, only texting her after Jamie and Katie walked through the aisle as newlyweds and flower petals were thrown all over them. He sent the video he'd recorded of that moment and did a funny summary for her.

(15/05/2014 12:27) Ceremony was long as always but you would've cried during the vows, I'm so sure. They were oddly emotional coming from Jamie but this might be a sign for me to have him help me write some songs now that I know he has it in him x They look good the Cooks, don't they? I hope the video of them walking down the aisle has sent xx

Ella giggled at the choice of words and she teared up a little more watching the video Alex had sent, the newlyweds were glowing and she was so fucking happy for them her heart could burst inside her chest.

(15/05/2014 12:39) They look fucking stunning!! I'm gonna cry!!!! x And stop being nasty, we shall see if your wedding vows are any better than his when the time comes, Turner x

He had no idea why the idea of his own wedding with Ella in attendance made his heart kickstart like it had been asleep, it suddenly raced in his chest and it rattled so loudly in his ears that he felt sort of lightheaded.

(15/05/2014 12:41) Are you gonna rate my vows then? xx

Alex waited for the answer as he fidgeted in his seat. The flashing image of his wedding not having Ella as a guest but as the one who'd walk up to him left him breathless and he clutched his phone tighter. This was the first time he ever thought of it and the feeling that flooded his insides was nice, warm and fuzzy and just entirely perfect.

That was when it all started dawning on him, that notion which he had been pushing away into hiding at the back of his head for so long—that was the moment it started creeping out to meet him.

(15/05/2014 12:42) I'll be front row giving you live commentary on them, with sound effects and all xx

The singer had no idea what to do with himself and the sudden void in his chest from that answer. Did she not share the vision he had? And even more importantly, was he really this despaired at the prospect of her not fantasizing about it too? He swallowed it all when Miles and Nick called out for him to join them as they were about to light the cigarettes perched between their lips, quickly typing a message to send Ella in response before hiding his phone in one of his pockets.

(15/05/2014 12:43) Of course. Best seats for you darling, if that ever happens x

Ella didn't even get the chance to see that message come through because the couple of the hour called her through Facetime. Turns out Katie had waited until after the ceremony to finally give Jamie the lovely gift she and Ella had come up with before she left LA that day. Ella quickly snuck away to the lunch area of the office that was almost empty by then since it was gonna be a short day at the office due to the next day being an early shoot, and she freely was able to enjoy the call with the couple.

"Remember how Ella said she was gonna make it up to us?" Katie almost sing-sang as she walked up to where she'd left the book which had been sent by Ella all the way from LA already wrapped up and with a cute little note.

Ella watched from where Katie had set her up how Jamie's brows furrowed in confusion at the topic being brought up, "Yeah?"

"Well it's your turn to see how that went." Katie walked gracefully up to her husband and bent over just enough to throw her arms around his shoulders and place the present on his lap, leaving a kiss on his cheek before saying, "Enjoy."

Katie straightened up with her hands still on Jamie's shoulders as he carefully undid the wrapping and the bride shared an excited look with Ella through the screen. They both returned their gazes back to the groom who was about to grace them with a million dollar reaction that Ella wished she could've recorded.

Jamie's jaw dropped when he opened the leather bound book and saw the first picture, his face lighting up in flames and turning him into a shade of red Ella had never seen on him before. His eyes were wide and his smirk grew bigger as he slowly flipped through the pages.

Ella knew exactly when he got to the more naughty ones because he had to close the book to turn around and see his wife, letting out a shaky breath that both Ella and Katie laughed over. When he opened the book again and continued looking through the last ones, he wiped his face with his hand and cursed a low, "Fucking hell." as he shifted in his seat.

"I don't think I've ever seen you this red, Cookie." Ella taunted him but he didn't budge his gaze from the book.

They watched as he couldn't help himself from going back to admire the pictures once again and when he deemed it was enough gawking for the time being, he let the book rest on the table beside him and pulled his wife swiftly on his lap to pounce on her lips.

Katie broke the hungry kiss in between giggles to ask, "Did you like it?"

And Ella chuckled when he growled and nodded, mumbling a quick, "Fucking loved it." before he leaned in to kiss his wife with desperation all over again.

Merely five seconds went by but Ella wanted to tease them for the show they were putting on so she cleared her throat dramatically loud before she said, "Right, I don't wanna be on the phone witnessing your unofficial porno." which prompted them to stop with laughter.

Ella melted when she saw them laugh against each other with the foreheads pressed together before Katie stood up and went to pick up the phone from where she'd propped it up.

The model pouted at the camera and sighed, "I wish you were here to party with us, Ellie."

And Ella matched her pout and the sadness seeped through her words as she assured, "I know but I will be in Alex's phone all night so don't worry."

Jamie came up behind Katie and rested his chin on her shoulder so he could thank Ella once more, "Thank you for that Ellie, it was a fucking perfect gift."

The giggles that came from Ella made the pair smile softly, "You're so very welcome. There's another one more PG but just as beautiful nonetheless, because it's all your gorgeous wife in that one as well."

"Oh yes!" Katie brightened up remembering that Ella also made her a book with the pictures she took of her when they did that shoot at her house, "I'll show him that one later, I left it somewhere in the house."

"Well I hope you love it just as much." Ella smiled softly and sent them a blown kiss through the screen after she added, "Have the best night guys, love you lots!"

With kisses blown from the newlyweds and lots of love sent back to her, Ella finished the call and with that she realized she could go back to her office and get her things to go back to the hotel suite she was staying at in time for Alex to call her during the peak of the party.

By the time she got back to the hotel, she walked into her hotel room to a handful of videos waiting for her in her messages. One was of Alex showing her around the place where the reception was going to be held at, there were another two which captured clips of the toasts people did for the newlyweds which ended up making Ella cry and a few more that showed the party just starting and the group throwing shots back and starting to dance.

Ella made herself a quick lunch—heating some pizza leftovers from the night before—and then she went to shower. Once she had finished blow drying her hair, she opened her messages again to a flood of videos coming from Alex, as well as a pair of missed facetime calls.

She rang him back but he didn't pick up and, from the videos she saw, she could guess that it was because of the loud music that he didn't catch her incoming calls.

About half an hour passed without any more videos and before she could text him to claim he was failing at keeping her updated, her phone rang with a facetime call from the singer.

She expected loud music so she prepared herself for the disturbance to her ears but when she accepted the call, her ears were blessed with Alex's smooth voice greeting her.

"Hi, darling. What you doing?" He instantly noticed that she was in the bathroom, wearing some flannel shorts that showed her thigh tattoo and a shirt long enough to cover most of the shorts, with some sort of mixture on her face.

She leaned into the mirror as she applied some lip balm, pressing her lips together and puckering them up before taking a step back and looking into the camera, she shrugged with a small smile on her face, "Nothing, just relaxing. How's the party going?"

"Good, good." Alex replied nonchalantly, his next words coming muffled because of him placing a cigarette between his lips and lighting it up effortlessly, "Just needed a breather."

"Oh where are you?" Ella asked curiously, seeing the dangling lights behind him that let her see the ivy snaking up a brick wall.

"Having a smoke in the garden." He let out the smoke he had inhaled to continue explaining his decision to come outside, "Even though everyone being wankered already is entertaining, it's not the same without you."

Ella had to really fight against herself not to coo and pout, instead she gave him a toothy smile and a raise of her brows to taunt him, "Yeah, no one forcing you to dance, is there?"

Easily, Alex stated, "Miles is trying." and it made Ella laugh loudly.

Puffing her chest out, she smirked and shrugged before proudly saying, "Miles doesn't have you wrapped around his little finger." wiggling her little finger for the camera to further her point.

And there was no denying that, Alex showed her a loopy smile as he shook his head and agreed, "He sure doesn't."

Watching him smoke never got old, and it surely was making her get flustered but, on top of that, she could feel the taste of the nicotine on her tongue just from watching him and she whined at the craving that shook her with force, "You're making me wanna go out for a cig."

"What's stopping you?" Alex challenged her easily and she sighed.

"I'm too lazy to go outside and I have this on my face." She pointed at the drying face mask she had on, he giggled at the look of it but then noticed how bright it was in the room she was in and it definitely looked like natural lighting.

"You got back early today, huh." The few days before he had managed to sneak a quick facetime call with her, she'd still been at the new office and she would call him back way later when she was back at the hotel, and that usually was when it was about to be three in the morning for him, so he was surprised to see her back in her room when it was still bright outside.

She smiled at his smart observation and nodded, "A miracle isn't it?" She played with the ends of her hair as she explained, "We had an early day today because we have to be at the office by five tomorrow morning, we're shooting all day so we were given a long rest before that."

"All day long?" Alex raised his brows at the information.

"Mhm. We're due in set at half past five and we're not leaving until midnight probably. We have a lot of night scenes to shoot so..."

"This is the short film right?" He made sure to remember correctly, his head scrambled from the tumultuous day.

"Yep." Ella nodded proudly, she still couldn't believe she was in charge of such a big project.

Alex hummed as he took a drag of smoke, "Are there any more directors working with you?"

And once again, Ella proudly replied, "Just me. But I have the writer of the screenplay with me to make sure I follow her vision."

The smile that broke in Alex's face gleamed just as brightly as his eyes did, and she wasn't sure if it was the reflection of the screen on his eyes or the dwindling lights littered around the garden but she enjoyed it nonetheless and was filled with a warmth that she loved so much when he said, "I'm so fucking proud of you Ellie." almost breathlessly.

She couldn't help herself from smiling as big as the drying face mask allowed her, "Thank you sweetness. You're so cute." She winced and dropped her smile when the drying mask pinched on the skin of her cheek and Alex laughed noticing that.

"You look very cute right now." He teased with a smirk, though it wasn't necessarily untrue—she looked adorable and he almost wanted to sigh and swoon like an enamored idiot.

"Oh don't. I've been looking horrendous since I got here so I wanted to do a facemask." She attributed it to the change of climate, but she'd seen the tub of face mask mixture when she was walking past the aisles of the grocery store and she'd decided to buy it and see if it helped at all.

Alex, as flattering as ever, easily refuted her words, "I seriously doubt that but okay."

"Only 'cause you've not seen me in person this past week." Ella sighed, looking at herself in the mirror again and feeling ridiculous with the drying mixture on her skin, "I look rough."

"Why is it cracking?" The singer was entirely confused by the way it had changed color and it had started cracking with the pass of time.

Ella shrugged, picking up the bottle that contained the face mask mixture, "It's some sort of clay mask or something like that. I dunno." She heard him snickering then and she looked down at the screen again with a glare, "I know I look silly right now, but don't even."

Alex raised his free hand in the air to claim innocence, "What? I didn't even say anything!"

But Ella narrowed her eyes and pointed an accusing finger at him, "You were thinking it!" She called him out and his expression only grew more amused, "I know you, Turner."

There was something in him that kept sparking up, like two stones crashing and crashing and he knew that soon enough a fire would start. The sparks shot warmth up his spine already and made his head all dizzy, he doubted it was just the nicotine's effect.

"Sure, sure." He joked halfheartedly, thought his stomach flipped at the way she truly just knew him so well.

Before she could come up with another witty comment to chat back at him, she heard the familiar start of one of her favorite ABBA songs and she froze in her place for a second, holding her breath to make sure it was the one she thought and when she confirmed it by just faintly hearing the first few words, she whined loudly, "Oh stop! That's one of my favorites!"

Like it was the most logical thing to ask, she demanded, "Alex, go back inside and dance for me."

Alex looked at her through the screen and swallowed his laughter before shaking his head, "Sorry darling, I would do anything for you, just not that." It wasn't entirely a lie, but maybe if she begged a little he would rush back inside just to dance to Voulez-Vous for her on the phone.

"Why are you like this?! It's a good song!" She complained as the song started building up to the first chorus.

Alex annoyingly pointed out, "No one's stopping you from dancing to it right now." and that made her glare at him through the screen before she scrambled out of the frame to get a hand towel and wet it with warm water from the tap.

Without noticing, she started softly mumbling along the song as she focused on whipping slowly the dried mixture off her face.

He let her continue without saying a thing for a few seconds before he couldn't just not point it out so he said, "See?" and once again, earned a glare from her.

Only this time, she sang louder and danced more wholeheartedly, swaying her hips and moving her shoulders as she messily continued wiping the face mask off.

Alex smiled like an idiot at his phone, so entranced by Ella and her moves and her big smile and the way she was singing that she didn't notice someone had come outside and seen him, and was slowly approaching him in silence.

The sudden, "Al?" startled him and made him choke on the smoke he had inhaled.

He turned around coughing once before he saw who it was and he switched his pained grimace for a soft smile, "Oh, hi Alexa."

The second she heard the sudden voice, Ella stopped her loud and horrible singing and changed it to humming along with the tune and softly swaying her hips to not interrupt whatever interaction was about to happen.

The model smiled back at him and asked, "What are you doing out here alone?"

Alex lifted the half of the cigarette he had left to wordlessly tell her what he was doing, but then he turned the screen of his phone for her to see that he was in fact, "Not alone."

"Oh!" Alexa giggled, noticing the girl on Alex's phone and waved at her enthusiastically, "Hi!"

Ella looked at the screen when she heard the greeting ring through her speakers and when she saw Alex's ex on the screen, she felt so ugly with the stupid mask still on the bridge of her nose and one of her cheeks, whilst the gorgeous model looked flawless in her perfect makeup and dress.

She had never seen her before, other than the one time she googled her after the girls had told her that Alexa had been Alex's girlfriend when she met the singer, but she still felt so incredibly intimidated and an uncomfortable bitter and burning feeling settled in the pits of her chest.

Still, she put on a shy smile and waved back with a soft, "Hi!"

Alex retracted his phone after that and before he could continue speaking to Ella, Alexa asked, "Mind if I pinch one?"

Alex nodded, resting the cigarette between his lips to use the now free hand to pull out his packet and lighter and offer it to her. There was a heavy silence as Alexa picked a cigarette out and lit it up, taking a long drag and sighing in bliss. The sound of it somehow sounded louder than the music coming faintly from the party and Ella was then painfully aware that the moment she had with Alex had been cut.

So, fighting the pout that wanted to show on her face, she patted her face dry after having gotten everything off her skin and let him go, "I'll leave you to it, sweets. Enjoy yourself and keep the videos coming, please?"

Alex clearly let his sadness show with a childish pout that had Ella smiling like a fool, and she had to bite her bottom lip not to smile bigger when he sweetly replied, "Of course, darling. I'll call you later, yeah?"

"Okay sweets, it's a plan. Love you!" Ella's sweet tone rang through the speakers of his phone and Alexa couldn't help raising her brow in curiosity at the words that the unknown girl had just said.

And the model's curiosity heightened when she noticed the way Alex's cheeks had tinted pink, but it somehow was clear when she heard him say, "Love you too darling, bye!" back.

It might've been a long while since Alexa had spent time with Alex but, at the end of the day, there was a time she knew him as well as the back of her hand and so she wanted to know who it was that had stolen the singer's heart.

"Who was that?" Alexa asked genuinely curious, her voice had a timbre of amusement like she was teasing him that made Alex blush even more.

"Ella." He choked out, like a giggle was stuck in his throat. "She's uh..." He wanted to explain further because he knew Alexa could see through him at that very moment but there wasn't any other term to refer to Ella other than, "My best friend."

He wished there was more, but he couldn't just say she was the girl that plagued his dreams, or the one he wished was dragging him to the dancefloor of the party. The girl who he wanted to escape to the garden with to share a smoke and laugh about their drunk friends. The girl he wanted to take pictures and videos of all night and keep them all like a treasure in his stupid phone to watch back when he was on tour. The girl who he wished had caught the bouquet Katie threw and looked at him like it was a sign for them to share that unbreakable promise that didn't seem so scary if it was shared with her.

The fog was clearing up even more, something inside of him slowly shifting.

"Right." Alexa smirked, her voice coated in sarcasm that just told him how she didn't believe that one bit. She frowned though, noticing the way she was absent in such a big event for the group,  "Was she not invited?"

Alex took another drag before he answered, "She was. She just couldn't make it 'cos of work: she's filming this short film in Boston to submit to a film festival."

Alexa's brows shot up in wonder, "Oh so she's a filmographer?"

Alex nodded and explained further, "She's a director and photographer. Works with Ben and Aaron, they're all from Focus Creeps and the three usually record our music videos."

That's when she realized just how acquainted they must be, knowing just how many music videos the band had put out for the latest record. "Oh right, from LA then?" It was obvious that she was, the American accent giving the girl away but Alexa was nosey in a good way.

"Mhm. She's from Tennessee actually, but lives in LA." Alex felt the need to correct.

Alexa smirked once again then, coming closer to him just to nudge his hip with hers and tease, "Ooo a cowgirl."

Alex chuckled as heat traveled up to his face yet again, "A cowgirl."

"She sounds cool." Alexa said genuinely, she also looked cool with her Arctic Monkeys shirt on, that septum piercing she'd managed to notice on her and the many earrings littering her ears, as well as the tattoos on her skin.

"She really is." Alex reminisced about all that came to be Ella and he sighed. He really missed her.

When he looked down at his phone and saw the group picture that he had as a lockscreen of everyone at Glastonbury, he perked up and started chatting about her, "You should see the pictures she takes, she's fucking amazing."

All it took was Alexa saying, "Show me?" for Alex to unlock his phone and pull up Ella's instagram for Alexa to see.

The model scrolled through her Instagram page and her jaw fell the more she found. Not only did she find the pictures she'd take of landscapes and cities gorgeous, but the pictures of herself that she had posted were hot.

"Oh she's fit." Alexa concluded with a raise of her brows, as if silently congratulating Alex for being able to pull such a stunning woman.

"She's a photographer but not a model?" Alexa asked intrigued, she kept scrolling down and clicking on one that Alex knew very well: that picture of her wearing only a silver bikini and cowboy boots, leaning backwards on her forearms on her motorcycle with a cowboy hat that hid her face almost entirely, except for her agape mouth that made it look like she was moaning. "Why?! She's stunning and she already looks like one."

"I know! She should be one." Alex spoke like it brought him relief to hear someone agree with him, but he actually explained the reasoning Ella had once given him, "She doesn't enjoy being in front of the camera that much. At least not with strangers."

Alexa nodded, completely understanding the point, her gaze still caught up by the pictures on Ella's page. When she pulled one up of the girl naked and only covered by a flimsy white dress that was completely see-through under the sun in the picture, Alexa caught the singer just gawking and so she elbowed him to taunt him, "You'd like it if she was one, wouldn't you?"

Alex rolled his eyes, before shoving her playfully, "Oh shush." and Alexa laughed loudly at the way he continued to blush.

"When did you meet her?" She asked as she handed Alex his phone back.

And it was obvious how he froze in his place for a few seconds before pocketing his phone and then he warily replied, "Erm... Remember back in 2011 when me and the lads went to LA to record the Brick by Brick video?"

His ex's brows shot up when she realized it had been that long, "Ohhhh! Since then?"

"Yeah." Alex confirmed awkwardly, knowing that he had still been with her when he met Ella.

Just to mess with him, Alexa frowned and called him out in faux seriousness, "You never mentioned her." But when the model saw Alex's face fall and pale, she cackled loudly and corrected, "I'm joking!"

Still, Alex seemed like he was having a hard time even swallowing his own spit so Alexa taunted him once more but this time a bit more lightheartedly, "How many songs on the new record are about her then?"

It seemed it wasn't as lighthearted as she expected because he looked pained when she mumbled, "Alexa..." as if he was asking for mercy.

"What? I know you." Alexa shrugged, "I'll send you my guesses the next time I listen to it."

When Alex threw the bud of his cigarette to the ground and stomped on it, Alexa thought he was gonna walk out on her and leave her with an itch she couldn't scratch, so before that could even happen, she quickly blurted out, "Has she got a boyfriend?"

"No." Alex's voice was barely a whisper and if she wasn't right next to him then she wouldn't have heard him.

She cocked her head in confusion, it was clear that he fancied her so she had no idea why he hadn't made a move to get her already. "Then what's wrong?"

In total despair to be reminded of it all, Alex sighed heavily as he rubbed one of his eyes like he was tired of having to be in such a predicament, "I'm on tour."

He sounded so devastated by that simple fact that the corners of her lips fell in a pout and she side hugged him as she sadly cooed, "Awh, Al..."

It seemed like he needed the space to speak about it because, totally unprompted, Alex started talking, "She's wonderful, and I don't even think she likes me if I'm being honest. Florence says it's obvious she does but– I just don't want to fuck things up. Already did before and I'm afraid of losing her entirely if I take one wrong step."

Alexa sighed, feeling for her friend and took a few seconds to gather her thoughts to give an objective perspective on it, "If my opinion counts for anything, from just those few seconds I saw you on the phone to her, I can tell that there is certainly something there."

"Do you think?" Alex perked up at the thought. maybe if someone else could see it, especially if it was someone outside of their close group of friends, then it really meant there was a chance.

His heart leaped in his chest, and the wave of words he had been holding back for so long seemed to want to come out even if Ella wasn't there to hear. He just wanted to scream every thought that came to him about her out loud.

"Yeah, it was written all over her face." Alexa assured him with an honest smile.

Suddenly, he blurted out, "I see her again in June. We're playing in this festival in her hometown and she goes religiously every year. She cried when I told her we were in the lineup."

Alexa tried not to giggle at the sudden word vomit coming from him, and instead cooed over the fact that what he'd just said would happen, "Bless her! That's gonna be so special."

"It'll be. And I just can't wait to see her again and this time in her hometown. She came around to see us at Glasto and it was just— I can't even put into words how it felt having her here, at home, during that time. So I'm just really impatient for June and to see her in her home and just being all that she is at her core, you know?"

There was the word vomit again, Alexa hummed entirely amused by the way it was so obvious on his face, so she smirked again and decided to be more blunt about taunting him, "You really like her, don't you?"

And that was when that notion that had been creeping out of the corners of his mind jumped at him at full force, making him almost stumble in his feet. 'Like' wasn't enough to convey all that he felt when he thought of her, when she called or texted him, when he saw her in pictures, when he was able to have her in the same room as him and much less when he had her right there next to him.

I just wasn't enough and it would be unfair to downplay it, not when he ached so much to say it all to her and the first step was finally letting himself come to terms with it and god, didn't it feel freeing and like a massive weight lifting off his shoulders when he finally opened his mouth and started saying, "I think I'm–"

Alex stopped himself there, shaking his head like his thoughts had gotten blurry and it was stupid to use the words 'I think', because he was sure by then, there was no other way to describe it.

And so he said it correctly this time, "No. I am in love with her."

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

A/N: It took him long enough, didn't it? What do you think will happen now that he's finally come to the realisation? I'm eager to hear your predictions heheheh. Finally being able to write that last scene was so fulfilling, I've had that planned out for so long and I'm just so excited for you all to read it!! We're so close to the end, it is actually so damn sad </3 But anyway, I hope you enjoyed this one and I hope to see you soon with the next one. Sending you lots of love, have a great weekend!! xx

Taglist: @imagine-that-100 @kennedy-brooke @faveficz @indierockgirrl @ladydraculasthings @moonvr @unwantedlovergirl @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn @funniestpersoninnyc @andrearroe @justacaliforniandreamer @alexturnersgf69 @yourorganiccigarette @chickenxdrum

[ebwritess]

Meg x Roman.

AN: The two hottest people on the planet. Enjoy.

Wrestling and rap have always gone hand in hand. Rappers have been quoted loving wrestling since they were kids, wrestlers use hip hop music as their entrance music and have for decades.

When Wale started Walemania, it was a small group of black wrestling fans who enjoyed the crossover of hip hop and sports entertainment, throwing a party during the weekend of Wrestlemania. Now, years later, the top stars were being booked to perform for wrestling fans and wrestlers on the biggest weekend of the year.

Wrestlemania was in Las Vegas this year, and Wale knew he had to pull out the big guns. He and Megan Thee Stallion had met years ago, collabed on a song together, and stayed in touch via social media throughout the years. The D.C rapper knew she would be the perfect performer to hype the crowd, impress the men and turn up the girls.

Megan had never been booked for anything like it. She'd done bars, concert venues, award shows but a wrestling show? Her manager explained it wasn't just a wrestling show. The show encouraged black fans to connect with each other and black wrestlers while celebrating the culture. She already knew she was loved in that community -- from The Rock saying he wanted to be her pet, to linking with Bianca Belair at Lollapalooza, she knew it wouldn't be an issue connecting with the fans, it would just be different.

The Houston rapper was seated backstage, in the makeshift dressing room they provided her. Her best friend Kellon was to her right, placing the finishing touches on her bouncy jet black curls. Her best friend was to her left, pouring the three of them double Dusse shots to the brim of the shot glasses. Meg leaned forward into the mirror, lining her lips as she placed the final touches on her makeup, tossed the shot back, threw a quick prayer up and made her way out to the Vegas crowd.

The fans were packed shoulder to shoulder, weed smoke replaced the oxygen in the room, and wrestlers scattered the stage on either side of Megan with their favorite bottles in the air. She brought Bianca, Jade and Trinity in close to dance with her as she performed Savage (remix of course, duh, they all loved Beyonce), posing for professional photos simultaneously. The crowd was doing exactly what they always did -- bouncing, twerking, recording, drinking-- and she was having a time.

After her third song, she paused to take a sip of water, glancing to her left to retrieve a towel. As she reached for the fabric, brown eyes locked with brown eyes, except that set of eyes was about five inches higher than hers. His shoulders were broad, his hair was pulled back into a tight bun, he.... well, he was definitely a wrestler. And fuck, was he fine. The rapper's eyes darted back out to the crowd so she could finish her set, but she now had a new set of nerves wash over her now that someone who looked like him was watching her.

Wale brought her, her team and her best friends back to the main VIP room where all their wrestlers, their spouses and families gathered once she wrapped up her set. She was introduced to Bianca's husband, Jade's husband and finally, Trinity's husband, brother in law(s), cousin.... cousin? That was her cousin? "Wait.. so all y'all wrestle? The whole family?" Her country accent drawled, looking from Trinity to the rest of family, blatantly avoiding eye contact with the man from left stage until he spoke up for himself.

"We like to keep it all in the family." He answered briefly, deep voice rattling her stomach and low eyes not breaking eye contact for a few extra moments. It was obvious he'd been drinking-- they'd all had-- but the way his words slightly slurred made it more obvious to her.

You didn't have to know Megan personally to know she was a confident woman, especially when it came to men. Attractive men, ugly men, short men, tall men, poor men, rich men-- it never mattered. She could have any man in the palm of her hand like jelly. Her eyes darted up to his, looking at the older man through thick false lashes as she nodded understandingly, glancing from him to his band of cousins briefly. "I can tell. All y'all look just alike. You the oldest though, I can tell by the grays in ya' beard." The flirty comment and smile was brought to you by the Dusse in her system, and the champagne that bubbled in the half filled flute in her left hand.

His expression morphed into that one of slight shock, playfully of course, to match the tone of their banter. "Oh yeah? The 'Just for Men' must ain't settle all the way yet then. Joe." His large right hand crossed the very minimal space in between them to meet her manicured right one, shaking it firmly, both of their touches lingering a little extra before both hands moved to their sides. The bodies around them continued to mingle, Megan's body had to focus on not showing it's attraction to him. But what woman wouldn't be? She was tall, but he towered over here. Broad shoulders, perfectly chiseled body, which she could tell was an accurate assumption through that tight black hoodie. And the way his deep voice and slight country accent commanded attention? Bitch, she was about to be a puddle. "Megan."

[demigodsanswer]

desperately desperately need a fifth position one shot now wow… I love how this AU keeps having spinoff AUs!!

truly the spin offs that live in my brain ... it's getting out of hand. Anyway fic rated M. this one is for the beyhive

Silena and Charlie were in agreement: Percy and Annabeth would be perfect together if she would just leave that man. They talked about it all the time.

The good news was, Annabeth had left that man. The bad news? Everything else.

But Annabeth was finally out of her cast, out of her engagement, and soon heading out of New York for a little while. There was just one last thing.

"I love that you're putting off mental health treatment for the Renaissance World Tour," Silena joked.

"The Renaissance World Tour is mental health treatment," Annabeth said back. She was slipping into a sparkly silver dress and a pair of boots with a low heel and solid ankle support. "Thanks for finding someone to give Luke's ticket to," she added.

"Percy was happy to take it." Silena had no idea if Percy knew any Beyonce music besides Single Ladies, but he liked live music and Annabeth enough to know not to turn the offer down.

"I haven't talked to him since 'Diamonds,'" Annabeth said. "I hope it's not awkward."

They were all sharing a house near the stadium in New Jersey. Percy and the guys were already downstairs pregaming, while the girls finished getting ready. Distantly, Silena could hear them cheering and playing Renaissance over the speakers.

"There's so many of us here, you might not even talk to him that much," Silena said.

Silena had spent five years trying to contrive ways to get Percy and Annabeth close to each other. But Luke always kept a possessive grip on her -- sometimes literally. Now would have been ideal. Except Annabeth had four more days in New York before she left for six months, and Percy ... well, if he got a taste of her, he'd let his heart get broken over and over again just to keep having her some of the time. Percy had never been casual, and Annabeth was volatile right now.

Silena and Charlie were hoping they didn't look twice at each other.

~

Of course they looked twice at each other. By Virgo's Groove, they were basically on top of one another. When they all got home, they shamelessly disappeared upstairs while everyone else kept partying.

Silena tried not to be too nervous about it.

"It'll be fine. They're adults," Charlie reminded her.

"I know, I know I just ... hope it works out and that they don't end up hurting each other," she said.

"Maybe one day you'll tell this story at their wedding?" Carter Kane suggested.

Silena smiled. Wouldn't that be a laugh?

~

Annabeth had kept the lights off, and asked to keep her dress on. Percy didn't mind though. She just kept pulling him in closer, and that dress fit her oh so well.

He was feeling pretty smug. She'd warned him that it was hard for her to cum. Some medication she was on or something.

"I haven't cum in eight months," she said, when Percy promised to get her off.

"Christ. At all?"

"Nope."

That didn't stop Percy from accepting the challenge.

And oh man, had she finished. Several times. The look of shock on her face alone would have been enough to confirm it for him, if there hadn't been other signs.

"Oh my god," she said, as she rolled off of him. She'd ridden him with reckless abandon, and he finished a little sooner than he would have liked. But Annabeth didn't seem to mind. She just laid on her back, breathing hard for a few moments. Percy rolled closer to her, inviting her in for a cuddle, but instead she just rolled out of bed. She grabbed a pair of pajamas from her suitcase and headed out the door to the bathroom.

When she came back, Percy was on his phone, texting Grover some videos of the show just to give himself something to do. When Annabeth spotted him on his phone, still in her bed, she just tossed a towel onto the post-sex wet spot, and marched over to him. She took the phone from his hand.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

Percy stammered. "What? Texting my friend, why?"

Annabeth looked at the screen, then flushed and handed the phone back to him. "Sorry, sorry, that was ... an insane thing to do, I'm so sorry."

"Is everything okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, yeah, everything is fine. You were great. Listen, I'm gonna go to bed, and I won't be upset if you decide to go back down stairs and party," she said, climbing into the other side of the bed.

"Um," Percy said. He rolled over and pulled her in as little spoon. She seemed to relax. "I'll leave if you want, but only if you want."

"Maybe not yet," she said.

Percy kissed the back of her neck. "Okay," he said. "When we get back to the city, would you want to go out? Get dinner or something?"

She stayed on her side, facing away from him. "I'm leaving New York in four days," she said.

"Leaving? Forever?" He asked.

"No, no, not forever, just ... six months." she said.

"Where are you going?" Percy asked.

"Home to Virginia. I need a break. I'm, um, doing a long mental health program. So I stop doing insane shit like taking people's phones away from them," she said.

"Okay," he said. "You can always text me while you're gone."

"I don't sext or send nudes or anything like that," she said quickly.

"That wasn't what I was talking about," Percy said back. "We can just talk. As friends."

"That ... makes more sense. Yes, I would like that a lot."

They were quiet for a while. Percy thought she'd maybe fallen asleep. But --

"Percy?" She whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Can you leave? I can't fall asleep with you in here," she said.

Percy's heart sank. "Sure, sure," he said, finally getting out of bed and searching for his clothes.

His friends were still partying downstairs even though it was well past two in the morning. He cleaned himself up and decided to join them. He wasn't much for taking shots, but tonight seemed to call for it.

[heavyhitterheaux]

I'll Always Be Proud of You

First Lady of Private Garden Fic

AN: the day has finally arrived!! (I don't want for anyone to get confused so their close friends and family know about the pregnancy and that will be shown in LYTLM part 3)

Synopsis: Our favorite couple supporting each other at The Grammy's after finding out that they're both nominated

Pairing: Husband!Jack Harlow x Wife!Reader

Part 2 to Grammy Nominated Harlows

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

You were in a peaceful sleep when you suddenly heard Jack's voice. It took you a second to understand what he was saying, but then you realized he was talking to your bump. You didn’t want to interrupt him and waited until he was finished. 

"Me and mommy are nominated for multiple Grammy's today and I'm nervous. I think I'm more nervous for her than for myself. I know that I wouldn't be anywhere without her and she believed in me even when I didn't believe in myself and when I wanted to give up. But she saw something in me and wouldn't let me quit. If neither of us walk away with anything tonight, I know I already won. I won because she’s my wife and because I get to be a father to you three. Don't give mommy too much trouble today, okay?"

You fluttered your eyes open when you felt Jack place a light kiss on your bump and your hand immediately went to his curls.

“I didn’t wake you up did I?” Jack asked as he felt your hand in his curls and you immediately shook your head no.

“No, been awake for a few minutes now.”

“Oh, did you…?”

“Yes, I heard you and they are going to have the best daddy in the world. Confirmed, but I knew that already."

“Everything I said was true. Don’t know where I would be without you.”

“Right back at you, big head. I always saw something in you and I knew you were meant for this even if you did doubt yourself from time to time.” You replied as Jack brought you closer to him in order to place a kiss on your forehead.

“I just…. Are you sure you’re up for this? You don’t have to go if you don’t feel comfortable.”

“Of course, I’m going. First, to support you and calm your nerves, second, um Beyonce? And third, all of you need a chaperone. I do not trust any of you. Maybe except 2fo but he likes to steal food so never mind."

“I beg to differ, we are not that bad.”

“Baby, you would lose your head if it wasn’t attached to your body.”

“But, you would always find it for me, right?”

“Exactly my point.” You said while laughing.

“How are you going to hide the little ones? Did Julissa find a dress for you?”

“She found one. It’s pink and it’s a little loose around my stomach so it would be hard, almost impossible to tell if someone's in there. We’ll let everyone know soon, but I like the fact that it’s just the closest people to us for right now. Like I said, I have to keep the stress to a minimum.”

“Still can’t believe that there’s three of them in there.”

“I know, it’s insane. I’m going to be waddling by next month if they keep growing at the rate they are now. I’m already short as it is.”

“You know PG is never going to let you live that down.”

“They will if they want me to cook for them.”

“Good point.”

"You too."

"Wait, now why am I in it?!"

"You're guilty by association. And did you actually go to sleep last night or were you just up worrying about everything like you usually do?”

“I think I fell asleep around 2.”

“I’m worried about you.” You said being completely honest.

“What? Why? I'm not the one carrying three people.”

“So? We’ve been through a lot this past year and I don’t know. I just want you to take time to rest.”

“I will eventually, but I still have to be on my shit. I have you and three more people to think about.”

“Everything will fall into place, just how it’s supposed to, so stop worrying.”

You were now facing the mirror staring at your reflection and trying to decide if the dress had any hint of a bump being under it and sighed.

Julissa did good and you couldn't tell. You didn't know if you were going to any other events in the future, but if you were It would get harder and harder to hide it.

Dani had done your make-up and wanted it to be extra special seeing as this was the first time you were going to the Grammy’s as a nominated artist. You didn’t know whose nerves were worse, you or Jack’s.

However, you tried to keep a brave face on for him. Hoping if he saw you in a relaxed state that he would do the same.

Your thoughts were interrupted by Jack who wrapped his arms around you and kissed your cheek. You didn't even hear him behind you but you relaxed into his embrace as the two of you stood there in a comfortable silence.

“You look gorgeous, mamas. As always.”

“And you look like you just stepped out of an issue of GQ. My husband fine as shit." 

“Well, I was on the cover.”

All you did was laugh before sighing before starting to play with Jack’s fingers which were resting on your waist.

“We can back out, just say the word.” Jack whispered in your ear as he hugged you tighter. 

“No, baby. We’re going. You worked your ass off last year and you deserve to be celebrated.”

“And you do too, best new artist.”

“STOPPPPP!”

“You are definitely taking that one.”

“Even if I don’t, I still won. Just like you said earlier, I have you so I’ve been in the winner’s circle for almost eleven….holy shit…. Almost eleven years now.”

“Damn, we’re getting old.”

“Correction, you might be getting old, but I’m aging gracefully and I’ll probably be 50 looking like I’m 35. Black don’t crack, baby.”

“So I’ve heard.” 

The two of you met everyone else downstairs in the lobby of the hotel and just about everyone’s jaw dropped when their eyes landed on you.

“Jack, your wife makes you look good.” 2fo said while grabbing your hand and you did a twirl so everyone could see your dress.

“He doesn’t need me to make him look good, I just make him look better.” You said while winking at him.

“You look so pretty lil bit!” Dani said while coming over to hug you.

“Am I the only person that can see you are legit actually glowing? I never understood what people would be talking about before, but…. I get it. You really do look happy and that’s all I want for my best friend.” Urban piped up and your eyes started to water.

“URBY! HORMONES! Please do NOT make me cry!” You said as he brought you into a hug. You were forever grateful that the two of you looked past the mistakes that you had made in your friendship and it was now getting back to how it was before. The two of you really couldn’t live without each other. 

“I second this, I spent all that time doing her make-up!” Dani exclaimed while trying to dab at the corner of your eyes with a tissue.

“If she starts, we might not be able to get her to stop.”

“NO CRYING! You can only cry if you win. Then I won’t care.” Dani added while eyeing you. 

“Okay so, the Harlow are definitely leaving with a Grammy in their hands tonight.”

“Even if we don’t, we come ten times harder to get one next year.”

“Baby, didn’t you say when we were in high school that you would dedicate your first Grammy to me when you won?” Jack asked while eyeing you.

“If I win for Big Dick Energy then obviously.”

—

All of you were now sitting at your designated table and the show was now underway and you could tell that Jack was still a ball of nerves. 

He got upset when a certain comment was made while the two of you were walking the red carpet and he had to stop you from going and giving that photographer a piece of your mind. 

When it came to your husband, you would always defend him. He didn't bother anyone and minded his business. So you really didn't understand where the hate would be coming from. You simply squeezed his hand and kissed his cheek and he looked over to smile at you.

You knew that Bad Bunny would be opening the show and you took this as an opportunity to get your husband to relax even if it was only for a few minutes.

The two of you stayed listening to his music.

“Baby, come here.” You said while getting up and holding out your hand to him.

“What’s going on?” Jack asked, looking confused.

One of Bad Bunny's dancers was motioning for Jack to get up and dance when she saw that he needed a little bit of encouragement and of course Urban had his phone out ready to record and Dani nudged him to take your hand.

“You need to stop being on edge, so this will at least distract you for a little while. Besides, you haven’t danced with me in a while and that needs to change. I've missed dancing with my husband."

"You know that I can never tell you no." Jack replied as he took your hand. 

You noticed that Jack had now gotten the biggest smile on his face and finally began to relax.

Soon, everyone at the table joined in along with Lizzo, H.E.R., and Taylor Swift. 

"AYE! AYE! AYE!" You heard 2fo scream and he designated himself the hype man for the night.

Jack had already learned earlier in the day that he had lost 2 out of 3 of the awards that he was nominated for, so of course that didn't help his mood.

You at least got him to smile for a few minutes and that was the most he had smiled in weeks.

Cardi had now hit the stage to present the last award that Jack was nominated for that night and he immediately grabbed your hand and squeezed it. You then leaned over to whisper in his ear.

"No matter what, I'll always be proud of you. That's never going to change. Not just proud of the artist that you are, but you as a person. I thank God every day for sending me the most amazing husband that I could ever ask for."

"Baby, your hormones are out of wack and mine are about to be too. Not you making me tear up." Jack said and you let out a small laugh before kissing his cheek.

"We're in this together. Always." 

Your heart dropped as you heard Kendrick Lamar's name and just squeezed Jack's hand tighter. You knew how hard he worked for this and you didn't want to look at him at the moment. The thought of him being upset, which you knew would be all over his facial expression.

"Still proud of you smush." You whispered and Jack placed a quick kiss on your lips which led to Urban yelling. 

"AHT AHT! Spare our eyes and save it for later."

"Such a hater, Urby."

Since the triplets were doing jumping Jacks on your bladder, Dani had gone with you to the bathroom and to help you touch up your make-up.

"Seeing Jack’s face broke my heart." Dani said as you were washing your hands.

"Mine too. But we all know how talented he is and I tell him every day. This just gives him more motivation. I know he's going to get one. This is only the beginning of his career."

As you finished drying your hands, your phone went off and it was Jack calling you.

"Yeah, babe?"

"BABY! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE! YOU JUST WON BEST NEW ARTIST!"

"WHAAAATTTTTT!?"

"COME ON!"

Dani immediately grabbed your hand and the two of you ran at lightning speed back to the auditorium where the awards were taking place.

"There she is!" You heard Olivia Rodrigo say. Dani went and sat back at the table as you embraced Jack.

"So fucking proud of you. Get up there and get your grammy."

Jack helped you up the steps and you hugged Olivia before taking your award from her and stepping up to the mic.

"Is this…? Is this real life?! I can't even right now. And of course I would have to be in the bathroom when they called my name." You said as tears were now rolling down your face.

Looks like Dani did that touch up for nothing.

You heard laughter erupt from the crowd before continuing your speech.

"This means the world to me and I just…. I promised my now husband when we were in high school that we would dedicate our first Grammy Wins to one another, but this one? This is extra special because if it was not for him, Private Garden, and my best friends pushing me I wouldn't be standing in front of you right now. I have the best husband in the world and yall know I'm screaming that to the top of my lungs until the end of time. Thank you DJ Drama for signing me and believing in the little girl from the southside of Atlanta. And my beautiful fans, words cannot even begin to express how much I adore all of you. With that being said, this is only the beginning of many more Grammy wins to come for PG." 

"THAT'S MY BABY SISTER!" Dani yelled as you finished your speech and the crowd erupted in applause. Olivia led the both of you backstage and embraced you before congratulating you again.

You then made your way back out to where everyone was and Urban ran to you before picking you up and spinning you around followed by 2fo, Dani, Nemo, and then Jack.

"No one is more deserving of that award than you." He said before kissing the tip of your nose.

"Well it's your award too since I dedicated it to you and besides half of your name is on it. Thank you so much, baby. If you didn't push me, there's no way I would have done it on my own."

"Like I said, I knew there was something special when I was 14 and saw the cute girl with the braids."

"I just thought about something."

"What mamas?"

"What if they don't have a musical bone in their bodies?"

"Then I'm getting a DNA test."

"JACKMAN! CUT THE SHIT!"

Liked by

jackharlow, danivalentine, druski2funny, urbanwyatt, privategarden, djdrama, saweetie, normani, and 3,901,870 others

y/ninsta: Y/N Y/M/N Harlow, Grammy Winner 🥺🥺🥺

jackharlow: LOOK AT MY BABY GO 😭😭😭

y/ninsta: jackharlow you make my heart go BOOM! 🙈

urbanwyatt: you deserve all that and more, so proud of you!

y/ninsta: urbanwyatt thank you for never letting me give up

lilnasx: AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

danivalentine: I always tell you every day how much your hard work will pay off! Look at my baby sister! A Grammy winner!

2forwoyne: I told you this morning that award was yours!

y/ninsta: 2forwoyne you definitely did!

shloob_: don't tell me 2forwoyne is psychic now!

quiiso: 2forwoyne gimme the lottery numbers if you are

y/ninsta: quiiso I don't think he's that well developed in his skills yet lol

yungskylark: y/ninsta yeah the only thing he knows how to do is steal food

2forwoyne: not the 2fo slander on this fine Sunday evening

allthingsy/n: QUEEN!! CONGRATULATIONS!

urbandjack: who else cried during her speech when she dedicated her award to jackharlow?

jackharlowsource: urbandjack ME! They're so cute!

saweetie: so proud of you honey bun! my best friend is a real bad bitch!

y/ninsta: saweetie I love youuuu

jackharlow: y/ninsta BABEEEEEEEE!!!!

y/ninsta: jackharlow yes pookie?

jackharlow: y/ninsta stoppppp you know how I get when you call me that 🙈

y/ninsta: jackharlow aww! still love that I can make you blush after close to eleven years!

claybornharlow: my sister-in-law y/ninsta stepping on necks since '98

druski2funny: y/ninsta jackharlow yall need to sign up for AARP. got damn yall old.

jackharlow: druski2funny lmaooo shut up anyway y/ninsta???

y/ninsta: jackharlow 👀

jackharlow: y/ninsta come here and let me show you how proud I am of you 😏

urbanwyatt: NO. ENOUGH.

jackharlow: urbanwyatt your room isn't even next to ours!

urbanwyatt: jackharlow OH AND THAT'S SUPPOSED TO MAKE IT BETTER?

jackharlow: urbanwyatt I thought so at least

neelamthadhani: I'm the one you all should feel sorry for 🙄

urbanwyatt: neelamthadhani thanks for being a team player!

Liked by y/ninsta, jackharlow, quiiso, danivalentine, 2forwoyne, urbanwyatt, djdrama, and 1,630,924 others

privategarden: OUR FIRST LADY WON A GRAMMY! The first of many to come for PG! We are so proud of you!

djdrama: so well deserved!! congrats again y/ninsta! I knew you were destined for greatness the first time we met!

y/ninsta: djdrama my make-up has gone to shit tonight because I keep crying lol

urbanwyatt: THAT'S MY BEST FRIEND AND IMMA STICK BESIDE HER!

yungskylark: this is only the beginning for the queen! just wait until yall hear the fire that coming your way

jackharlow: can't believe this gorgeous lady is my wife and has been for five years 😭

y/ninsta: jackharlow and a lifetime to go

quiiso: jackharlow you have been in your simp era since 14 and I have to say that I do love it

2forwoyne: they are definitely going to be buried in the same casket when their time is up 😭

dualipa: 2forwoyne not if I can help it, congratulations cutie pie!

jackharlow: dualipa I will kick your ass if you come in here starting shit

dualipa: jackharlow she's going to be with me and there's nothing you can do about it

jackharlow: dualipa my blow torch has your name on it

y/ninsta: BABY CUT IT OUT!

jackharlow: quiiso she wasn't getting rid of me that easily lmao

claybornharlow: jackharlow I guess not, litle stalker

jackharlow: CLAY CUT THE SHIT!

urbandjack: I feel that there's a story behind that comment

claybornharlow: urbandjack I'll save it for another time lol

jackharlowsource: we love a supportive wife and husband!!

urbandjack: joint album anybody?

maggieharlow: so proud of my daughter! well deserved!!

y/ninsta: maggieharlow thank you mom 🥰

nemoachida: love you mamas! congratulations!

jackharlow: y/ninsta it's only up from here my baby

y/ninsta: jackharlow it sure is because one already has your name on it for next year

Taglist:

@harlowsbby

@babyharleezy

@hoodharlow

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[youremyheaven]

Kibbe Observations

Theatrical Romantics often have distinct husky voices. Morgan Fairchild, Jane Seymour, Salma Hayek, Mila Kunis (if you watch Black Swan you can listen to her speak at a lower pitch, people who have husky voices sound shrill when they speak at a higher pitch which is how Mila usually speaks)

I feel like every Kibbe type has a few celebs who intuitively always dress for their type and a bunch of others who absolutely never do lol.

Sofia Vergara, Kelly Brook, Ava Gardner, Christina Hendricks etc are Soft Dramatics who almost always wear their lines.

Salma Hayek, Joan Collins are TRs who pretty much embody TR glam most of the time.

3. Kibbe is based on vibes someone gives off, more than you would think. There are certain criteria that has to be met for each type but there are exceptions, always!!

Audrey Hepburn was 5'7 but she's a true Gamine. It's rare to see a tall Gamine but it's not impossible

Beyonce is also 5'7 but she's a Romantic even though most Romantics are short.

4. Kibbe is about image identity. That means the image you project. You can analyse the length & breadth of someone's shoulders & calves all you like but your image identity is MORE than that. I'll use an example. Mila Kunis & Sarah Hyland, pretty much look like sisters yet the vibes they give off are different.

Mila Kunis has a very sultry, sensuous "femme fatale" essence (she's verified TR) but Sarah Hyland has a more innocent but kind of mischievous, more youthful vibe. You can easily see that Mila has a more "dark feminine" energy whereas although Sarah has similar coloring and features, she still feels more light feminine.

Here she is in a very TR-esque outfit but something feels off

This outfit would look really weird on a lot of people (a tutu skirt for God's sake 😭) but she looks good in it

in this dress however, she looks like a kid who wore a grown up dress. her youthful vibe contrasts the heavy romantic vibes of this dress

However, here she looks like a complete doll. again, this look seems to suit her in a way it wouldn't suit most people.

This dress is a little too intense for her.

However she looks great here!!

I would say she's Soft Gamine

She has Gamine essence and it's the kind of styling that looks best on her

Let's compare her to Mila Kunis now

Mila, kinda looks like she's wearing a costume here. It looks very off.

Here she's in a very Romantic outfit with a dash of glamour and she looks greattt

Tea length dresses only look good on Gamines imo and here Mila looks very out of place

despite being very short, tea length dresses, even in a more Dramatic style, does not seem to suit Mila

Here she is, in a very TR look and it really harmonizes all her features and attributes.

this dress would be more flattering on a Natural type but Mila does not look like herself here

aside from the fact that this dress needed some ironing, this is probably the most TR look Mila has ever worn and it really makes her shine

5. In order to be SD, you need to have a T shaped silhouette. Broad shoulders, small waist and proportionately small hips. SDs are not "tall TRs".

6. Sofia Vergara & Joe Manganiello are my SD power couple

its sooo easy to tell that they both have similar essences and project a similar image

however, here she is with her former fiancee Nick Loeb. Sofia's overpowering Dramatic essence makes her stand out and she almost looks out of place next to Nick, who is FN. Their essences clash with each other and make them kind of awkward looking together.

There is a meme about how Brad Pitt imitates the women he's with. Let's see how he channels his different essences with different women.

Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt are both Naturals (FN & SN) with Dramatic/Romantic essence

Together they project a very larger than life, powerful, strong and intense vibe

Here he is, with Jennifer Aniston. as a couple, they project a more grounded, couple-next door, warm vibe. they're like the cool couple on a college campus, two hot people who look good together but in a very earthy, grounded way. Jennifer Aniston is also a Natural (SN)

Brad has Dramatic essence however Jen is pure Natural. so while Brad can pull off a more intense styling, Jen would look kinda out of place in it.

The dress and leather in general is too overpowering on her

However, she really shines in outfits like these that let her true essence be reflected. everybody, especially in the last couple of years, has been imitating Rachel Green (and 90s style in general) but imo, its most flattering on Naturals because of the way clothes were designed in that decade.

Here he is with Gwyneth Paltrow. Gwyneth is yet another Natural (FN) but she has Classic essence. The thing about possessing Classic essence is that you have a perfect yin-yang balance, so nothing stands out individually since everything blends together perfectly. Brad & Gwyneth together sort of bleed into each other, their essences don't contrast each other in anyway, they almost look like siblings😭😭😭 , there is no visible polarity at play.

Brad was with 3 different Natural women yet they all projected a very distinct vibe because of their very different essences.

7. kibbe is about image and how other perceive you. its futile to obsess over width and breadth and circumference and what not. dont miss the forest for the trees. also, there is a lot of variety within each type, not all Soft Classics look the same and not every Gamine is going to look great in tea length dresses. every individual is unique.

Amy Adams is FN but she's only 5'2. imo, she has a blend of Natural+Classic essence.

IMO, she was horribly miscast in Enchantment. She does not possess the wide-eyed, gullible "ingenue" essence necessary to play a lost princess. i just wasn't convinced that she's this naive, innocent princess because Amy exhibits a more world-wise, mature and "no-nonsense" vibe.

be it in American Hustle, Arrival or Sharp Objects, she plays characters that seem to fit her like a glove. She's just very convincing in these type of roles because she seems like a grown up who knows what to do and how to get things done. She does not have the air of a ditzy, confused damsel in distress

here's Isla Fisher. i specifically chose Isla because her & Amy kind of look alike but their essences are vastly different from each other.

Isla is a verified Romantic and has Romantic + Ingenue essence and she's perfect in films like Confessions of a Shopaholic because she's convincing as a ditzy airhead who is slightly naive and very confused. (this being one manifestation of the ingenue essence) if you look at her career, she's by and large done a lot of romcoms. It's hard to imagine her in a show like Sharp Objects or a movie like Arrival because the image she projects is far more youthful and sweet.

8. there is a reason why kibbe has its roots in old hollywood. old hollywood studio system manufactured stars the way kpop companies manufacture idols today. the were assigned an image to project and each star managed by the company had their own unique appeal that set them apart from the rest. lauren bacall projects an aura thats entirely different from audrey hepburn or marilyn monroe. liz taylor is completely different from gene tierney. most big stars in those days possessed Dramatic essence, simply because Dramatic essence makes people stand out easily. its a very large, strong, intense essence and gives the individual an edge. but the market created space for all kind of stars, there were actors who had a more boy/girl next door aura, femme/homme fatale aura, a quirky,funny aura and more. these days, cinema in general lacks big stars. imo there hasn't been a truly big star in maybe the last 20 years or so of cinema because no one's projecting an image that appropriately fits them.

however, pop music has had many icons and a huge part of their success is their image. be it taylor swift or nicki minaj or even BTS. people connect to them because they have a stable image identity for others to connect to. they have lore, they switch things up and keep things interesting but there's a bedrock that is unchanging and thats what makes them "stars".

[blysse-and-blunder]

in lieu of a second chance

10:30pm, sunday, may 12, 2024

wow oh man i have forgotten how to do this!! but it's spring, it's the end of the term, it's the start of a new season and a new burst of creativity and, perhaps, a different routine-- so let's try again.

reading audio-books and ebooks have been my absolute constant companions all winter, but shout-out to the stack of paperbacks on my bedside table, which i am slowly but surely working through. finished italo calvino's if on a winter's night a traveler (a loan from @hematiterings), part of my now intentional quest to read calvino's whole oeuvre, and basically loved it. the whole 'first chapters of various novels you'll never get the rest of' was such a good way to showcase a bunch of cliches from, like, mid-century literary fiction. very meta, and very fun. the connective frame narrative, in second person, was a little more of a stretch (again, very mid-century literary self-referential/ironic/whatever, which unfortunately i did find amusing)-- and calvino's female characters are not great, except for in the nonexistent knight's narrator who i loved)-- but there was a section addressed to a female reader which did, in fact, feel like it read me for absolute filth. other finished reads from the last few months which i will mention here briefly: the angel of the crows, katherine addison; our wives under the sea, julia armfield; the bell in the fog, lev ac rosen; the nutmeg's curse, amitav ghosh; the ruin of kings, jenn lyons.

listening this would have been different if i'd written this last week, but have y'all heard beyonce's album cowboy carter?! i know i'm a few months late but i actually feel like i'm years late, like i haven't responded to a beyonce album this strongly maybe ever. i love the covers, i love the vocal layering and harmonies, i love the samples from old timey radio and everything familiar and texas and country about it...i keep thinking i have a favorite track, but genuinely i like listening to this one all the way through, as a cohesive album, as a work in itself. have a pitchfork review. pull quote:

"On Cowboy Carter, Club Renaissance is swapped out for KNTRY Radio Texas, an AM station hosted by an ever-hazy Willie Nelson. Here she re-contextualizes roots music—Americana, folk, country—for a contemporary moment, reminding listeners that Black artists were the genesis of these forms and never stopped playing them, despite what Hollywood or Nashville might have on offer....Despite drawing from the kitsch and fun of ’70s and ’80s country music, Cowboy Carter has an air of melancholy to it, a quality that reverberates through the scores of songs in minor keys about loneliness on the range.

^^ this is a playlist of the whole album on youtube, if you're into that. AMERIICAN REQUIEM, the opening track, is what hooked me-- i was in from the opening notes. but TEXAS HOLD EM' is also great. fuck yeah, rhiannon giddens.

watching so in addition to rewatching the entire sixth season of dropout's game changer today, last week we finished a truly wild show out of netflix italy: la legge di lidia poët / the law according to lidia poët, which is a historical mystery-romance like only netflix can make. is it bridgerton but for ninteenth century italian lawyers? is it the girlbossification of an actually interesting historical figure? yes, maybe, but everyone is very attractive and the costumes are bonkers in a satisfying way. she has insect themed jewellery, rides a bike, has a lot of sex, finds a decent relationship with her brother and, god help me, i do want a second season.

featuring, hey isn't that pasquale from my brilliant friend? and wow, they probably think this song choice is really cool but it is so on the nose in english it is almost distracting.

playing hollow knight! hollow knight. hollow knight. it's become a problem, actually, since i have quite literally turned my evening yoga time into gamer time, and would you believe, i am less flexible and have higher anxiety levels lmaoo. but i'm getting so powerful i don't care. i probably can't promise myself to beat this game any time soon, and should stop thinking i can, but look! two dreamers down?!

making patched the inner thighs of some jeans-- they will probably remain weekend pants, but they're further from dead than they were. similarly, clumsily darned a hole in my sweater. baked a caffeinated cake courtesy of a b. dylan hollis video (coffee loaf from 1959) . glued a wooden salad tong back together and i feel like the seams are actually quite subtle.

(this wood glue claims to be food safe after curing, pray for me etc etc).

working on ooof. i am done teaching but still owe two-three students emails. i survived my committee meeting but have done nothing to follow the schedule of deadlines we set me, despite being so excited to back on may 2 / so energized to do All the Things back on april 26. i have an article to prep to submit! a chapter to finish tweaking (reworking? reframing? changing from the ground up? lololololol)! not to mention a newsletter to draft and copy edits (almost done) to send back on a friend's article! but i can't stop playing hollow knight in all my free time, and really, what's more important here.

[fromtenthousandfeet]

The fact that people only talk about Euphoria and still with you for JK but for Jimin every army knows the roster of lie, serendipity, filter and promise. I genuinely do not care which member is the "most famous" because for example currently Sabrina Carpenter is more famous than Olivia Rodrigo but OR will surge up again with her next album release and in the end I enjoy listening to them both. This comparison stuff is idiotic. But I genuinely laugh when people say JK is better than Jimin - because by what measure? Jimin has better songs and has more iconic performances. I guess people could say JK has better vocals but I'm gonna be honest that's highly subjective. It's not like we're dealing with a Beyonce or an Adele here. JK's level of vocals can be found in any SM groups vocalist. I'd say Jimin has the edge with vocal colour and JK's vocals are getting more bland with every passing year (why's his voice on still with you better than anything on golden?) while Jimin's getting better and better with vocal control which was the only area JK had a clear edge over him. Man is coasting by because he's the company favourite and has 11 years of company narrative pitching him as the main character but somehow Jimin's still keeping up with half the tools and half the support.

I suppose JK has a bigger army of femcels who want to f*ck him as fans and loser kpopies are also by his side. Poor Jimin missing out on that demographic of fans - very sad. But JK better hide his girlfriend better in the future because his crazy brood of fans may lose it if he ever decides to get into a public relationship. Ask kth on how quickly your fans turn on you for the cardinal sin of not being single or screwing your bandmate.

Old asks! This one is from August 5th.

Hmm. What to say? I don't like Jungkook's voice. I just don't. I didn't like it in Dynamite, and I don't like it now. When listening to BTS songs I find myself waiting for Jungkook's parts to end. I'm not sure what it is about the quality of his voice that bugs me, but it started long before I lost all respect for him during chapter 2. It feels too forced, maybe? He tries to use power to make up for a lack of emotion? A little too nasal? (Pro tip - address your food sensitivities to clear up your allergic rhinitis). My dream is for someone who is good with Garage Band, or another music app, to put JK and Justin Bieber singing the same notes side by side. I think the difference in quality and tone would be interesting.

I've said this a million times already, but the US is NOT lacking in exceptional singers. This country isn't suffering from a Jungkook deficiency, or a K-pop deficiency for that matter. What made BTS stand out in the first place was their original music and the impressive choreography/performances. Jimin's lovely, clear singing voice (plus the growls) and insane dance skills have always been central to BTS' success. There is definitely a precedent and passion for performers like Jimin, though. We love a good song and dance man!

Based on the few photos I've seen from JK's exhibition in Seoul and the upcoming I am Still, it looks like HYBE is leaning hard into the sex symbol concept. Lots on naked chest and abs. Lots of tatted, pierced bad boy stares. And what else is there? There's no artistry to focus on, unless you're super into his dancing style. I hope that works out for Jungkook and HYBE. Like you said, there's a demographic within the fandom that's completely down with lusting after him. To each her own, I guess.

Jimin will shine no matter what. He has integrity, artistry, sex appeal, and sings with emotion. Don't sweat Jungkook. He'll have his fans, of course, but I don't think he'll ever have the loyal, committed following, let alone the media attention, Jimin naturally attracts. Look no further than the difference in their birthday celebrations in Korea. One is a national holiday, the other is definitely not.

P.S. OMG, I can't wait for Jungkook's girlfriend reveal. A good chunk of the fandom will need psychiatric help.

[thepurplewombat]

Character headcanon ask: LXC + JGY!

Okay, so it's finally cooled down enough that my computer has stopped making distressed noises whenever I turned it on, PLUS! we even have power for a few hours today, so here goes:

Lan Xichen

Sexuality Headcanon:

I'm gonna be honest with you, I don't give a lot of thought to characters' sexuality, at least not in terms of having headcanons for them. In my head, LXC is probably some flavor of bi, except that in practical terms, he's A-Yaosexual.

Gender Headcanon:

I think I've read one fic where LXC was actually a woman - not in the sense that he any flavor of trans, at least that was not the impression I got, he was biologically and emotionally a woman, but he was presenting male because of Political Reasons, and I thought that was quite interesting. But in general, I think he's a cis male.

A ship I have with said character:

Oh I don't know, I just don't know, who could I possibly ship the incomparable First Jade of Lan with - it's Jin Guangyao. Like, I'm not going to say that xiyao is canon and everyone who disagrees is wrong (even though they are) because everyone is allowed to be wrong on Beyonce's internet, but any version of Lan Xichen that isn't in love with Jin Guangyao is a Lan Xichen who is so wildly out of character to me that I just don't know what to do with him.

A BROTP I have with said character:

I think he'd get along really well with Jiang Cheng as friends - like, among the reasons that I don't think they work as romantic partners is that I think Lan Xichen would find being in a relationship with JC utterly exhausting. As a romantic partner, you feel somewhat responsible for managing your partner's moods, in a way that you don't necessarily feel the need to do in a friendship. I just think that the distance of a friendship would give him the opportunity to enjoy Jiang Cheng's cunty tendencies and temper, while not making him feel in any way responsible for managing Jiang Cheng's moods.

A NOTP I have with said character:

That being said, Jiang Cheng is not actually my NOTP for this character. I remain convinced that chengxiyao is a viable ship that just needs the right story to take off, and I'm sure that if I were to read a really good x!cheng fic, where Jin Guangyao is not demonised or erased, I would probably enjoy it.

No, my NOTP is Nie Mingjue. Mainly because I think he's an abusive jerkweed who reminds me of both my murderous ex and my late father (although to be fair to the Great Old One, he never tried to kill me) and I don't think that someone who is incapable of understanding that maybe other people have different priorities and points of view, is a good fit to be in a relationship with anyone who doesn't precisely share his values.

Oh and also Nie Huaisang. Just no. NOPE.

A random headcanon:

Not long after the end of canon, Lan Xichen disappears from his house of seclusion and is never seen again, because he's given the entire jianghu the middle finger and fucked off.

General Opinion over said character:

When I finished the book he was my favourite, and I was initially drawn into thinking more about Jin Guangyao because I was looking for stories where Lan Xichen has a happy ending, and a lot of the time, a happy ending for Lan Xicnen requires a happy ending for JGY as well. In the months since, he's been somewhat supplanted by JGY - it's not that I love him less, it's that I love JGY so much more (send help I am genuinely unwell about Jin Guangyao).

More general opinion - I think Lan Xichen should have the opportunity to go absolutely feral.

Jin Guangyao

My lovely boy, my sweet cheese, my rotten soldier, I love him so much.

Sexuality Headcanon:

I mean, canonically he loves both a man (LXC) and a woman (QS) so, bisexual?

I do think he has a complicated relationship with sex, because of his mother's profession and his father's...everything, but I think that like most of his traumas, he pushes it into a box and never ever thinks about it.

Gender Headcanon:

I think that when he was a small boy, his mother went on her knees every day and thanked all the gods and ancestors that he was a boy, because at that point she must have still hoped that JGS would come for them.

So I don't think that JGY has ever actually thought about his gender beyond 'thank the gods I wasn't born a girl'. Like, he could never allow himself to even consider anything other than being a man, because he was his mother's son, you know?

A ship I have with said character:

Xiyao. They're just so *clenches fist* I love them, your honor. Like, they just so obviously love each other - it's more obvious in CQL, but it's not exactly subtle in the novel either, and I just...my heart breaks for them and I love them so much.

I can also be convinced about Chengyao, because I think that Jiang Cheng and Jin Guangyao have got some things in common, and the ways in which they differ are very complementary.

A BROTP I have with said character:

I think that he and Wei Wuxian could have been great friends, if the stars had aligned properly.

A NOTP I have with said character:

Obviously it's a free internet and everyone can do what they want, but personally I can't ship my blorbo with someone who tried to murder him three times and hated him so much that even without knowing that JGY had killed him, he became a fierce corpse and escaped the grave to come after him. Just nope.

A random headcanon:

I don't think that JGY would have left the temple that night. I think he was genuinely trying, because at base he's an engine of survival, but honestly I think when push came to shove and he had to leave Lan Xichen and never see him again, I'm not sure he would have done it.

General Opinion over said character:

I love him. he's my favourite character in MDZS, and he's near the top of my list of all time favourite characters.

[hello-nichya-here]

Girl.... Imma need all the tea abt Michael's brothers being leaches.

I do remember that one of them said that there wouldn't be no Michael Jackson without Jackson 5. BFFR. omg.

Just look at Spotify monthly listeners. I tend to compare artists who debuted at the same time and if they are still alive or not.

Marlon Jackson: 945

Jackie Jackson: 1'180

Tito Jackson: 15'148

Jermaine Jackson: 771'648

The Jacksons: 2'862'021

The Jackson 5: 8'607'046

Michael Jackson: 43'067'506

I know Spotify listeners aren't everything in terms of success or talent. Just look how Selena Gomez supposedly has more than Beyonce. But here I mean the gap is huge.

And the fact they NEEDED him for the Victory Tour otherwise no one would have showed up.

...Anon, I'm gonna be honest here, I completely forgot Jermaine wasn't the only of MJ's brothers to try and have his own solo career. And it says a lot that even though he was the most sucessful of MJ's brothers, he was nowhere near as relevant as he wanted to be - let alone as relevant as Michael.

Also, I know that showbusiness is cruel, especially to child stars, and the music industry is super unfair and buries really talented artists while promoting others that are not even good - but lets not kid ourselves here.

Like you said, the very fact that they had to drag him into that tour to make it relevant already says a lot - but there's even more to that. Michael decided, on his own, that this was going to be the LAST tour, and announced it at the last concert, without discussing it with anyone. He didn't just quit, he essentially ended the group.

They tried to carry on without him a few years later, and it went nowhere because nobody cared about them if Michael wasn't there. Meanwhile, he had random dancers/back-up singers stand in for his brothers whenever he'd ocasionally perform "his" old songs, and nobody except their mom ever complained. I strongly suspect some people didn't even notice - first time I watched some of the performances of the Bad Era, I sure didn't.

They had a reunion in 2001 - in some concerts to celebrate MICHAEL's career, with a moment dedicated to some Jackson 5/the Jackson's hits. They tried for a reunion and their own TV show in 2009 - the same time Michael's final tour was supposed to happen. When Michael died, all the interest in the projects of his brother's died too, with their proper reunion only happening a few years later... in a tribute to Michael.

But by far the biggest evidence that Michael didn't need them was Motown 25. He performed with his brothers, and even though he was obviously the star, they were still great, truly fucking awesome, you can clearly tell they are all giving it all their talent and energy.

Then he performed Billie Jean and did the moonwalk without a breaking a sweat and it was like his brothers never existed. Their big moment was Michael's warm up, and his big moment had him on stage by himself, singing the biggest hit of his SOLO career, overshadowing everything that came before it.

The only one of his siblings that ever managed to not be in his shadow was Janet. And even then, despite being HUGE, she was not KING OF POP huge. Probably because literally nobody else, before or since, could do what Michael did.

For fuck's sake, look at "We Are The World." Pretty much every famous singer of the decade was there, every single one of them giving it their all - and Michael is still clearly the star, because he wasn't just better than his siblings, he was better than everybody.

And I think that's the reason why his brothers never fully let go of all their envy. Pretty much everyone in that family exploited Michael for his money/relevance, but since his brothers were once his bandmates, they felt full on entitled towards not just Michael's money, but his career in general - because their time as a band was the most sucess they were ever gonna achieve, but it was quickly becoming just "Michael Jackson's early years, when he was not as famous as he is right now, but was already way more famous than his brothers will ever be." They were dependent on him, and were now being told "No, he won't let you all tag along forever."

Hence them demanding to be part of "Off The Wall" and getting mad when Michael didn't let them, making him tour with them singing the band's biggest hits instead of doing a tour for Thriller, fucking raiding his house for valluable stuff, using his money to buy mansions for themselves and raise their kids/pay child support, claiming that if things had been just slightly different their own solo careers totally could have been just as big as Michael's, etc.

It wasn't just that their sibling slowly became way better than them and eventually didn't need them to be sucessful. Michael NEVER needed them. He was always the star, the one people were more interested in, the one with the most talent, and eventually he realized that, if he continued letting his family pressure him into ignoring his own goals and focused on "paying his debt to his siblings (and father)" he was at best going to be held back forever so his brother's could stay relevant at his expense, and at worst he'd ruin his own career completely just so they could all fail together and his brother's egos would be spared.

Again, see how HE basically ended the band (or at least the version the public actually cared about). To them, it wasn't Michael going solo, it was him kicking them out. Like they would have TOTALLY made Thriller with him, or could have each done it on their own. Like his solo works are theirs by extention just because they used to do things as a group, and therefore they deserve the profit and the credit for something they were not involved in.

Joseph, of course, did not fucking help make the situation any better. I already mentioned all the physical abuse he put his children through during reharsals, but there's one more thing: he'd sometimes deliberately compare his other sons to Michael when they made a mistake while dancing or singing, to make them feel worse about themselves for not being as good as their brother. OBVIOUSLY that led to a ton of misplaced resentment towards their sibling for them, and to Michael feeling guilty about something that wasn't his fault.

Joseph is also the person who taught them their very warped idea of "family." He had always said that family was the most important thing in the world - because he was one of these parents who believed that, since he was responsible for them being alive, they owed him literally EVERYTHING and thus had to put up with EVERYTHING.

He wanted to beat them with a belt whenever they did anything wrong? They should just shut up and endure it, it's just discipline, and they wouldn't be going through that if they could just do what they're told.

He wants to control their careers, have "his share" of their money, and then use said money to cheat on their mother? Doesn't matter, he is still the man of the house if he's not the one making the money, and thus they owe him respect and shouldn't meddle on what he does with his life.

Michael is clearly depressed about all the trauma he was put through and the childhood that was stolen from him? Oh please, he should be thankful that he was made to work like a dog for most of his life, it's the thing that has allowed the whole family to live not just comfortably, but luxuriously - with his money. That he totally only made because of Joseph, so they really don't owe anything to Michael.

It's really no surprise that, after being raised by that man, Michael's brothers turned out the way they did. Their complaints were "God, he told me to buy a smaller house since I can't afford a mansion instead of buying said mansion for me, the watch he gave me for my birthday is only worth ONE million dollars instead of two, and he will only let us do a medley of our Jackson 5 hits during his show, not tour with us again, how selfish!" meanwhile Michael was complaining that since everyone, including his own family, was only ever thinking of how being close to him would benefit their image/lead to them making money, he was incredibly lonely and miserable.

Nine times out of ten, Michael helped his family out of "obligation" - because that's what they turned their relationship into. A transaction, a contract. Michael "paying his debt" to people that cared about his money and fame so much that they often forgot he was a person that, even after all they did, STILL loved them.

But I guess "We are totally responsible for his sucess, and in fact could have totally been just as famous" is a much more pleasant version of the story than "We completely failed our brother, and we should thank God everyday that he never fully broke free of this AWFUL family, because otherwise we'd be broke and even more irrelevant."

[notyouraryang0dd3ss]

Hii ⏳️ here! In my ask you said this:

"Do black/brown american artists who are “approved” by white people trend the same way taylor swift does? or is it only the white celebs “approved” by white people?"

And I think it does happen with black/brown artists... to an extent. I'm gonna speak mostly about what trends between teen or recently adult girls (since I mostly engage with them, and guys in that age frame are either indifferent or dislike taylor but that part is actually because of misogyny, cuz they dislike anything that trends among teen girls (idk why but it is a thing).There are guys who like her ofc, but I've never met any of them irl, only online, so I wouldn't know).

Obv, ppl's interest in music genres matter too, so girls who are into other genres than pop don't have the same opinion on taylor. However, I've seen that among the girls who do like pop, they are mostly into recently very hyped artists like taylor, olivia (when she got hyped up during covid), conan gray, Maisie peters, gracie abrams, etc. Like mostly recently popular gen z artists (except for taylor ofc). This also includes sabrina carpenter, although I've seen ppl like her even more ever since taylor associated herself with her. Now, while olivia is filipino american, and conan is half japanese, they are mostly the only non white artists that ppl continuously listen to. Ofc, artists such as sza, Beyonce and rihanna are also very popular here, but Beyonce and rihanna have been popular since a long time (they have a similar amount of hype and reputation in here too) and sza got more popular recently, again, cuz she suddenly trended.

There are different aspects to this, cuz you will see a difference btw ppl who listen to western artists and the ones who listen to indian/local artists, and one of them is, that while almost everyone listens to desi artists, western artists are mostly popular in more upper middle class to rich communities, and they are very obsessed with white ppl.

Ig the bottom line is brown and black artists do get popular here too, but not as much as white artists, or artists whom taylor is associated with, so it is obsession with white ppl at the end of the day, with a few extra steps to make it seem okay.

men hating anything teenage girls like is misogyny. swifties have broken that word that people sound weird using it in the correct context now 😭 send the flood!!!! lol

see, i always knew wealth was involved as a factor with swifties. for the longest time (before my eyes were forcibly opened by the eras tour) i thought swifties were mostly wealthy white girls, but now i know its just a lot of middle class to wealthy girls in general. key phrase “in general” (just in case people want to start talking about “well there are x swifties-“ like i know. but im talking about overall)

⏳ anon you and other desi anons (shreya, imy) are really giving me so much insight into how ts has such a large south asian fanbase. like the obsession is with the west and in particular WHITE westerners and any artist of color approved by white westerners are basically approved with the wealthy, white aspiring classes in india. this is a culminative summary of what every desi anon has told me but the fact you guys are all telling me the same thing in different words is damning…free my former colonized peoples from the shackled of white supremacy free us!!!

[bunnywritesjunk]

Ruusaan | Captain Rex x Reader

Series summary: You missed your tropical planet, but coruscant had more to offer. You are a field medic in the 501st. you work closely with the captain in hopes of not losing your job. But how close is too close.

Chapter summary: You and Rex have lunch together. Some unsavory events happen.

Pairing: Captain Rex x Reader

Warnings: SA (mild), Masturbation, inappropriate outfit? mutual pining, Rated R

Word count: 2.6k

Genre: Fluff and angst

A/n: Hello everyone. Sorry for the late chap again. I was actually in the hospital because I had a seizure. I'm ok just a little shook. Anyways I wanna give it up for our wing man and woman in this chapter and I added a little spice for fun. Beyonce exists in my star wars. Comment if you want to join the taglist! Enjoy!

Chapter 7

Rex made his way to the lower med bay with his lunch tray. He was trying to keep his pace steady and slow. He was a little too excited to spend time with you. More excited than he would like to admit. When he arrived there were no patients. He could hear music playing from your office. He made his way to the door of your office and knocked. Music blared into your ears as you worked. Playing music boosted your morale while you worked on boring papers.

"You won't break my soul, you won't break my soooouulll."

You sang along loudly.

Rex knocked again, louder this time. You turned around and jumped when you saw the captain. Your tail flew straight up in fear.

"OH! Hi Rex. You scared me." You turned the music down.

"Sorry." He looked around your office sheepishly.

You got up and cleared your desk of your holo pad and random paperwork.

"Sit in my chair I'll get a spare." You rushed off to find an extra chair.

Rex set his tray down on your desk and removed his helmet. You came back carrying a small foldable chair and a bowl. You set the bowl down on your desk before unfolding the chair. You took a seat and started poking at your food mixing it up. Rex sat there for a few seconds feeling awkward. He removed his gloves and started to eat his food. The music played quietly in the background.

"So, how's your day been so far?" You asked.

"It's been ok, just paperwork."

"Yeah, same."

"Nothing interesting happen with you?" He asked.

"No, nothing except you." You smiled warmly.

"I'm interesting?"

"Well, I don't usually have people wanting to have lunch with me." You took a hearty bite of your food.

"Well, I like you. Uh..."

"I'm glad, I like you too Rex.” You cut him off sensing his nerves.

He gave you a small smile. The two of you continued to talk as you ate. Rex listened to your occasional rambling about work and things you need to do around the ship.

“Not to mention, I need to put in my leave request. If I don't show up my family will kill me.”

“Why would they kill you?” He asked.

“Um...Well, my family is pretty traditional. My decision to leave the planet and pursue a medical career is taboo. They allowed me to do this with the stipulation that I have to come back when called.”

“Why is it taboo?”

“It's just a culture thing I guess. Many women in my city choose careers in royalty or politics, some choose to marry and have families, and others join the woman-only military. There is a job for everyone, no one is homeless, no one is starving, and everyone is happy and successful. Wanting more than what's there is considered...selfish.” Your eyes shifted to the ground as you spoke.

“Wanting more for yourself isn't selfish. That's doing what makes you happy.” Rex said.

You smiled at him.

“I know, I don't regret it at all.”

His amber eyes met yours, they held a softness to them. You couldn't seem to pull your gaze away from his. His eyes darted down toward your lips.

“Um, excuse me?”

A voice called out from the med-bay, breaking you out of the trace Rex had on you. You got up hastily.

“I'll go check on him really quick.” You told Rex while walking out of the room. You greeted the trooper.

“Hello, what can I do for you?”

“Yeah uh...my leg hurts...” He sounded unsure.

“Ok, sit on a bed I'll get my holo pad.” You left it on the side table of one of the cots.

Turning back to the trooper he was sitting on the bed watching you. His gaze made you a little uncomfortable. You remembered that the nurse uniform you had to wear drew some attention. Usually, the troopers were more conscious about their stares. You walked back over to him holo pad in hand.

“What's your CT number?”

“Oh? You don't wanna know my name?” He said.

“It's so I can bring up your medical file.”

“Nah, you don't need that.”

The Trooper got up and slowly stepped towards you. You held your ground as he made his way to you. When he was almost chest-to-chest with you, you looked up at him. Your tail flicked back and forth sharply.

“CT number please.” It was more of a demand than an ask.

“Relax, sweetheart.”

He grabbed your hand and brought it up to his face. You pulled away quickly. Before you could take a step back he grabbed your waist and forearm to hold you still.

“No need to be scared, I don't bite.' He sneered.

“Let me go. Now.” You warned him almost growling your words.

You tried pulling away from him but his grip on you was borderline bruising.

“She made it clear she doesn't want you touching her. So tell me Trooper, why are you disobeying her direct order?.” Rex said calmly from behind you.

The Soldier let go of you and stood at attention. You took a few steps back rubbing your arm where he grabbed you.

“Captain! Um, we were just... I was here for an exam...” The Trooper stumbled over his words trying to find an excuse.

“Right.” Rex walked towards the trooper slowly and menacingly.

“What's your CT number?”

“...CT-9082 Sir.”

“You're in luck Trooper. You'll get to spend the rest of your days on Kamino's cleaning crew instead of the front lines.”

“But Sir! I didn-” Rex got into CT-9082's face merely inches away.

“Should I have you removed from duty completely, soldier?” Rex asked him.

The Trooper shook his head not meeting his Captain's eyes.

“Right, so I suggest you start packing there's a shuttle that leaves tonight.”

He left in a hurry. Your heart was still beating hard in your chest from the earlier interaction. Your head was low still trying to process the event. You felt a hand on your shoulder.

“You alright?” Rex asked.

You looked up at him and nodded. He took your hand gently and guided you over to sit on one of the cots.

“I'm ok. I'm just a little shocked that happened.” You told him.

“That was completely unacceptable and inappropriate. You'll never have to see him again.” Rex balled his fist tightly.

“How about you lock up for the day.” Rex said.

“Oh, no. I can't I still have to be open for walk-ins.”

“I'll put in a sick notice for you. You need some rest after that.” He rested a hand on your thigh.

Your tail swayed behind you eagerly.

“Well...ok I guess.” You got up from the cot and walked over to your office. Rex followed. You both cleaned up your forgotten food and headed out of the med-bay.

“I'll walk you to your room.” Rex said not leaving much room for negotiation.

'It's alright, I don't want to bother you.”

“It's no bother.” He started walking at a leisurely pace before you could protest further.

You caught up with him and matched his walking speed. our tail swayed lazily behind you. Groups of Troopers glanced at you two as you walked by. You walked in comfortable silence. Your shared apartment was in view sooner than you anticipated. Once you reached the blast door you turned to rex.

“Well, thank you for today. I appreciate you standing up for me. I'm kinda seeing a pattern here with us.” You chuckled.

“Of course, I'll always be there for you.” He returned a small smile.

“You wanna come in for a bit?” You asked him. Your mouth moved a little faster than your brain when you asked that.

“Um...sure.” He responded

“Oh, ok.” You said not expecting him to agree.

You opened the door and walked in. Rex followed you in looking around your small apartment. He set his helmet down on the coffee table. You went into your room to put your shoes away. Walking back to the living room, Rex was standing there awkwardly.

“You can sit down. Get comfy.” You tell him gently.

You walk over to the couch and plop down on it. He sits next to you as you turn on the holo television.

“So, what shows do you like to watch?” You ask him.

“I don't watch much.”

“Well, in that case, let me introduce you to the worst kind of entertainment in the galaxy.”

You pressed a button on the remote to a preset channel. The hologram projected a large title, “The Real Housewives of Coruscant”.

“Last episode they had a dinner with all the wives and Katrina showed up even though she wasn't invited because Phoebe doesn't like her. So there was a huge fight.”

You filled Rex in as the holo-projected women threw drinks at each other and pulled each other's hair.

“Huh.” That was all he could say.

He wouldn't admit it but this show was pretty interesting. After a while Rex decided to take off the torso and arm pieces of his armor. You didn't mind but the simple act made you a bit nervous. You tried to bury all inappropriate feelings but that was difficult as he basically undressed himself inside your home. He moved closer to you on the couch your thighs touching. The two of you stayed like that for a while. You started to get sleepy and tucked your legs under yourself. Your head slowly slid down onto Rex's shoulder as you slept. He looked down at you and smiled. Your body heat and rhythmic breathing started luring him to sleep as well. The Holo show played in the background quietly as you both slept through the night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rex stirred in his sleep, his nose was buried in a floral scent. He noticed he was laying down, his arm holding something tightly. The body in front of him snuggled into him more. Rex took a few moments to process the position he was in. He was spooning his field medic. He didn't know what to do, did he wake you up, or leave without saying anything? Before he could overthink more he heard you sigh. You stirred and lifted your head.

“Uh, good morning.” Rex said sheepishly.

You turned around to look at him.

“Good morning.” You said with a smile, trying to diffuse the awkward nature of the situation.

You sat up and Rex followed suit.

“I guess we fell asleep, whoops.” You chuckle while looking down at your body still in your work uniform.

“Yeah.” He responded.

Nawi walked out of her room looking refreshed. She glanced over at you and Rex sitting on the couch.

“Well, good morning guys.” She gave you a bright smile while heading over to the kitchen.

“...Hey Nawi” You greeted your friend.

“How'd you guys sleep?” She asked with a grin.

“Good, good....” You said. Rex didn't reply.

Nawi grabbed her premade breakfast from the fridge and went back to her room. She closed her door not before giving you a knowing look.

“Well, I should probably get going. There are some meetings I have to get to.” Rex said.

“Oh yeah, that's probably a good idea. I don't even know what time it is.”

Rex grabbed his discarded armor from the night before and put it on quickly. He got up to walk out, not once looking at you.

“Thanks for staying with me Rex, I really appreciated it.” You said before he left.

He gave a quick “No problem.” And left.

You felt dejected. You had enjoyed cuddling with him and hanging out, but maybe he didn't want things to go further than that. You went inside your room to freshen up. You tried to think about anything other than Rex.

After you got out of the refresher, you changed into sweats and went out to your living room. Nawi was sitting on the couch watching a Holo movie. She glanced at you then back to the holo.

“So, did you two?...” She asked.

“No! We didn't.”

“Did you at least-”

“No Nawi!” You snapped at her.

She raised her eyebrows at your sudden outburst. You gave her an apologetic look and sat down next to her.

“I'm sorry Nawi, I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just a little frustrated.” You sighed.

“What happened?”

You told her everything, about how protective Rex is of you. On Umbara and in the med-bay. How you both enjoyed each other's company and even fell asleep on one another. Only to friend zone you and run away in the morning.

“Hmm, have you thought about how he might feel in his position?” She asked you.

“What do you mean?”

“Well think about it. You're a beautiful woman working with him. He only gets to talk to women he is interested in when he's on leave if he even wants to. He's a Captain, having a relationship with a staff member is probably taboo. I think he likes you, but he's scared.” She explained.

“Yeah, I didn't think about it like that.”

“I mean who wouldn't fall for you.” She smiled.

“Be quiet you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rex Power walked to the barracks, his mind racing. Waking up next to you had been a little more than he could handle right now. He had to get in the refresher and...release some pent-up emotions. Once he got there he clumsily took off his armor and blacks leaving them in a messy pile on the floor. It's been a very long time since he's felt an urge like this. He was too stressed with missions to think about masturbation. He turned the water on slightly cool.

His cock twitched when the water droplets hit it. He grasped himself firmly in his hand and started pumping slowly. His mind flashed images of you, your cute smile, the way you walked, how your ass looked in that forsaken uniform. He pumped faster groaning.

He pictured your sleeping face, how angelic you looked resting on him. He was getting close. He imagined what you'd look like under him. Needy and ready to take all of him. He could hear you moaning cutely as he pumped you full of cock. Rex held onto the wall as his orgasm drew closer. He pumped his hand faster. He came fast and hard trying to stifle his moans as best as he can. After he was done, he stood there for a couple of minutes. He felt guilty thinking about you like that. He washed up and walked out of the fresher, wrapped in a towel. He headed to his bunk to grab fresh blacks.

Rex noticed a trooper in the bunk across from his but paid no mind as he got his clothes on.

“So, where were you last night?” The Trooper spoke.

Rex looked up and saw fives grinning at him. Rex sighed not in the mood for his antics. He thought about lying to him but couldn't come up with one with his brain still foggy.

“I was with Ruusaan.”

“All night?!” Fives exclaimed.

“Nothing happened”

“You mean to tell me, you spent the night at her place and did nothing? A wasted opportunity.”

“We're just friends.” Rex shot the arc trooper a pointed look.

“Right, because friends make you need a cold shower after hanging out with them.” Fives chuckled.

Rex didn't respond.

“Listen, don't be scared to take it further with her. Who knows maybe the war will end soon. You'll want someone to live out your retirement with.” Fives said cheekily.

The Arc Trooper walked away leaving Rex to his thoughts. He might need some more reassurance than Fives. Maybe from someone who has a secret relationship.

[kuwdora]

Fanworks Con 2023 Vid Premieres Squee Recs Here’s my squee-and-recs for the @fanworkscon 2023 vidshow Premieres! There’s a few vids that I haven’t found online yet but I still included them because they’re great and I’ll edit the post when I find links. I haven’t managed to watch any of the premieres from the It Follows vidshow yet but for now!! Enjoy the bounty of awesome new vids for many fandoms. Over 20 recs under the cut!

Some humorous and lighthearted vids...

Don’t Be a Lawyer by starlady This vid!!! She-Hulk!! To a song from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Really nailing the humor of the show, the breaking the 4th wall and it’s just even funnier with this song. I was wheezing the whole fucking time.

Sexy and I Know It by nestra Oh my god it’s Jamie Tartt from Ted Lasso. I laughed, I wheezed. Jamie Tartt is indeed sexy and he knows it. This is so much fucking FUN.

Four words on the top of your tongue by donteatthebee Okay apparently this is for this new show called Vice Principals and I have no idea what is gong on in this vid (nobody in chat did either). But what we do know is that Walton Goggins is fucking incredible and you get two middle aged men who love each other and even hump each other on screen and give each other pining and adoring looks? Well of course people’s fannish ears are gonna perk up. Amazing use of Taylor Swift, I still have no idea what’s going on by the end of the vid except that they will do anything for each other. What the fuck was that hot tub scene? Amazing. Also note the amazingly bland and dorky ties they are wearing. I have seen enough to know that I will watch this show. Odds Are by rhea Omg this is for 9-1-1 and truly the pinnacle of ODDS ARE. This show is too ridiculous for words. “Struck by lightening” repeats how many times in this song? And every single clip is different lightning!! Everybody goes through so much. Lmao. Beautiful people and family and gay folks and feelings. Shades of Purple by BlueshiftOfDeath Vice Principals vid about Gamby and Russell loving each other. There’s also a tiger and some shooting and I still don’t know what is going on but I’m also seeing arson and… Wow there is so much happening. There’s clips in this vid that I didn’t see in the other Vice Principals vid and I am even more intrigued. I’ve also never heard this song before but the vibe of the music is *chefs kiss* Consider me recruited. Duel of the Fates by jonesandashes, pollyrepeat Star Wars. I was NOT PREPARED FOR THIS VID. Oh my god I am howling. I was not prepared for the song and… everything else. Literally just giggling and covering my face the whole vid saying “whatttttt??” over and over.  This might be the greatest Obi-Wan vid I’ve ever seen. How the glass breaks on the beat at 2:06!!!! Sheer perfection.

At Your Pace by Rhea 9-1-1 show ‘cos that’s where Rhea’s heart lies and it is SO FULL OF LOVE FOR THIS SHOW. This vid is all about Buck and Eddie being an amazingly slashy couple. Also reminded me how I never finished the first season but damn they are so slashy and adorable together. This vid gave me the warm fuzzies and nostalgic slashy feelings.

Amazing vids with Amazing Vibes...

Heated by ultraviolet_catastrophe BEYONCE VID!!! I haven’t seen a Beyonce fanvid in awhile. All I could think while watching this is just how much fun it must have been going through all the music videos because damn the production quality and style of Beyonce’s music videos is gorgeous and yummy to watch, whewww. Outstanding editing here.

Underworld by VielMouse Alright so this is Stargate the movie with some video game music from also a 90s game. Someone in chat said “is this what taking acid feels like?” and honestly I think that is the right question to be asking while watching this. Wild and sonorous and, great overlays that really did put me back in 1994. Also Jaye Davidson is so fucking beautiful, my god. Outstanding vid. Love seeing Stargate again. Amazing vibes. The Wandering Song by periru3 This is a vid for the comic/animation Over the Garden Wall. Which I have no idea what that’s about but this animation is gorgeous and the editing is ALL VIBES for THIS WHOLE SONG.   Hush, Little Baby by bStro The Sandman vid! INSPIRED song choice for the cover of Enter Sandman. Amazing look at Death, Desire and Johanna Constantine, Lucienne throughout the show with some incredible money shots of Dream of the Endless, of course. But waaahhhh this is supremely epic and satisfying to watch.

Some vids about living in an age of resistance...

A Hazy Shade of Winter by Jayne L (JayneL) The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance vid! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck this vid is epic. This definitely has become the vid that I will forever associate with this song (and I have even vidded this song before, hah). This vid has incredible pacing and uses the stunning visuals of the show so well. I didn’t want to blink the whole time because I didn’t want to miss a single frame. Like, damn. Epic.

The hammer and the nail by stardust_rain Star Wars. Cassian Andor’s political education. Fuuuuuuuck. Mind the warnings on this vid, naturally, but y’all?? Do you all know how amazing it is to see Thea Gillmore music used in a vid?? Lyrics + tone of the song is so perfect for Andor. The pacing has me nodding and grooving along and it’s definitely a must-watch if you are into the show.

Multi-source vids that will make your jaw drop...

This is It by sandalwoodbox This is a pan-fandom vid (over 50 sources!!) about characters playing Go. It’s brilliant and it took me about halfway through the vid to actually notice each clip features a character playing black or white and throughout the vid the whole game is progressing, holy fuck, it’s so much fun and the lyrics are bangin’ for it too.

Bicycle Race by seekingferret Putting a Queen song to ALL THE BICYCLES EVER! There’s so many movies and tv shows in this vid and the progression of bicycle riding and then the moving frames with everyone riding their bicycle just escalates the fun. I keep losing it when I get to the bell chiming section and everyone starts falling off the bicycles, wahaha.

Relationship dynamics like whoa... A and B Song by mithborien A new Steve/Bucky vid FROM MITIHBORIEN!! I have been loving mithborien’s vids for an eternity now and oh my god just roll up into the con with a new Steve/Bucky vid and smack me back into my slashy feelings all over again. Tom McRae used to get around in fanvids ages ago but man I was so happy to hear him again for this vid in particular. The lyrical associations are fabulous. I feel wrung out after watching this vid.

Destroying Angels by Tafadhali Yellowjackets. Shauna/Jackie, fucked up teenage sapphics and cannibalism. This show is so fucked up and this vid doubly so, for all the right bad reasons whew. I was watching this and literally muttering “oh fuck” every 15 seconds. The vocalist is eerie, the underlying instrumentation during the verses is HAUNTING and foreboding. This vid does not pull any punches. The lyrics about ink and blood on her shoes and icy skin??  It’s a very intense vid..

Grandpa Never Gives Up His Money by ghost_lingering OMG NEW GHOST LINGERING VID!! This is for the 2018 film Trust about Paul Getty’s family. Whew the content warnings. Eat the rich. What an incredible use of The Beatles, too. The tonal shift at 1:15 is killer and holy crap this vid just keeps going and going and GOING and everything gets worse and…what a fucking rollercoaster, holy fuck. I’ve never seen this film but goddamn. A great vid for a fucked up family and movie. I’m kind of obsessed with the edits on the guitar in the last minute of this vid, too. Incredible stuff.

Don’t Take the Money by Anoel - not uploaded yet I don’t think? Will edit this post when I find the video online. Tag me if you see it! This is a Succession siblings vid and honestly I was not sure what to expect because I thought it was going to be the original song but it’s actually an MTV Unplugged cover featuring The Bleachers and Lorde. And oh my god it just really epitomizes how much the right cover can do wonders for a vid idea. Jesus Christ. These siblings got so fucked up and fucked over by Logan and that just hurts even more when you see all the human moments the siblings have for each other in this vid.

Heartwrenchingly beautiful and aching vids...

Man is Not Made by His Fractures by videobaths - also not uploaded yet? If someone sees this online somewhere please tag me?? Moon Knight vid!! “A man is not made by his fractures; he is able to mine them as a chance to emerge whole.” Aw, I really fucking love Oscar Isaac’s portrayal of Marc. This is a song I’ve never seen vidded before! Lil’ Was X’s Tales of Dominica. “Sometimes you’re angry / sometimes you’re hurting / sometimes you’re all alone.” If that isn’t the epitome of Marc’s life I don’t know what it is. Spectacular editing through and through. Live to Tell by AurumCalendula Star Trek TOS, Animated Original Series and Star Trek Discovery. A whole vid focusing on the Guardian of Forever! And the portal and the characters who go through the portals. Aurum’s cropping of the disco footage was so interesting and I think it did a lot to help it fit in with the other footage because everything is filmed so differently. But Aurum always makes my heart sing or ache and this is no exception. The difficulties of saying goodbye, aaaaahHHHhhh, just masterful storytelling here.

I Remember Damage by ohvienna An Ilsa Faust fanvid using a voice over from Station Eleven. Voiceover vids as the main audio track can be hit or miss for me but damn this really hit me. Just nailing the hurt and pain and perseverance in the face of unbeatable odds and coming back to your person time and time again. Fucking realness here.

The World You Thought You Lived In by BeatriceEagle This is: Adventure Time, Stargate SG-1, Farscape, The Magicians and Star Trek: The Next Generation. This vid explores what it is like for characters who are trapped living an entire life during a day. Heartwrenchingly beautiful. And painful! Cause then they lean into living out their life. But then the day ends and the characters have to go back to their other life. Aaaah, “say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in.” 😭😭😭😭 Very good pain.

Thousand Eyes by nu_breed_vids (nu_breed) This is a Korean TV show 손 : The Guest (TV). Åppears to be horror and trauma and really walloping the main character with the angst and whump. Mind the vidder notes/tags. In fact the vidder tagged this “Yoon Hwapyung is a whump magnet” which seems to track. The song choice is so ominous and slow-burn-y and goddamn, I’m not sure if this is some kind of demonic possession or whatever but I gotta check it out. The instrumental section with the drums and escalating strings is so TERRIFYINGGG with the blood and pain and losing himself. My god.

Blow your mind intense vids...

Psycho by lolachrome 长月烬明 | Till the End of the Moon (TV). A new Lola vid!! This is so fucking lush and gorgeous and the fucking attitude of this devil god character is fucking dreamy and intoxicating and terrifying at the same time.

Reincarnation by ExtraPenguin Star Wars sequel trilogy. Rey vid!! This is a constructed reality vid about Rey being the reincarnation of Anakin. The editing on this is so fucking slick and intense and incredible. So warning for lots of quick cuts and later flickering lightening shots. Oh my god. The intercutting between Rey and the original trilogy footage. I am foaming at the mouth. This vid is a (ahem) force to be reckoned with. It’s so cool and interesting to see Star Wars canon get recontexualized for this concept. And it’s executed so well!! Do watch if you are a Star Wars fan.

Never forget the antiheroes and misfits... Antihero by theletterelle Loki vid! It’s exhausting to always be rooting for the antihero. Oh, this is definitely reawakening my Loki feelings. The lyrics (especially the chorus!!) are so good for Loki. Do love, will watch again.

Superstar by sandalwoodbox A Nimona vid!! To Tegan and Sara! Oh holy fuck, I’ve come to expect and hope for awesome vids for this movie but this one is dark and still grooving with the beat. I did not expect this song to work so well with fame and propaganda. Oh my god, Gloreth's betrayal and Nimona and all the fallout with that. My. Goddddd. "I saw my first angel and it was you" omg NIMONA. Goddamn, these lyrics really punch you in the face.

[dragonmarquise]

Alr!!! Crews general music tastes??? I know damn well eclipse loves Beyonce

Oh boy, music!! This is gonna be a fun one to get into, at least imo.

So to start off, I like to think that in general they all like the kind of music genres that pop up in the game’s music track already. Also, we know DJ Cyber made the mixtapes besides the one for the hideout (that one being made by Tryce), so bonus headcanon: at least a few of them made suggestions to DJ Cyber for songs to include on those mixtapes.

Now moving on to some specifics!

BRC:

It depends on which individual member you ask, they probably have the most varied tastes between them? Again, besides the game’s existing genres.

There is a small subset who are into Vocaloid/vocal synth songs, mainly thanks to Bel introducing it to them. Also J-pop, again from Bel introducing it to others.

Other than that, not gonna go into further detail, especially since I’d have to think on it a lot more. :u

Actually, before I move on, a bonus headcanon: both Vinyl and DJ Cyber have probably the largest range of music tastes, and are both very knowledgeable about music. They can tell you the name of a song from the first couple of notes/lyrics, knowing when songs were release, explain differences between genres of music and which one is a subgenre/derived from/evolved from what other music genre, at least a brief history of bands/musicians/singers/etc.

One time they competed against each other in a music-focused quiz game (not like, an actual game show or anything like that, it was an informal thing at a party with the other writers). Vinyl just barely won in the end, and she still lords that over DJ Cyber every now and then, lol

The Franks

Tryce mentions at one point in the game that they blast electrofunk music. Some people might think that's something made up for the game, but it is in fact an actual music genre! So I like to think that's their main favorite, along with related genres like funk in general and breakbeat.

I like to think the Flesh Prince got into these particular genres thanks to listening to old CDs and mixtapes his parents had. Not that the Prince will ever admit it to them. :P

Eclipse

Definitely Beyoncé like you said, lol. Also other R&B/hip hop/pop/dance artists in the same vein as Beyoncé: Missy Elliott, Mariah Carey, Janet Jackson, Shakira, Janelle Monáe, Lil Kim, Jennifer Lopez, Alicia Keys, Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Lizzo, Chapelle Roan, etc.

Okay that list ended up longer than I meant it to be, but you probably get the idea, lol

Cassiopeia (leader, the winter palette for the crew) also has a fondness for orchestra music. Mostly when she's relaxing at home, it helps her unwind after a long day of either working at her shop or being out and about as a writer.

DOT EXE

Old school EDM (especially older disco, techno, and house) in general. Which is perhaps cliche/stereotypical since they're all cyberheads/full-cyber, but whatever lol

Twoson and Fourside also have their Weird Music Tastes that I mentioned back in the big DOT EXE post I made. And then Cueball in particular really likes video game soundtracks, and is a big fan of chiptune music in general.

Devil Theory

Hip hop and rap and related genres! And because of their love of anime, various Japanese songs that have served as anime openings/endings. :P

Sai also introduces the others to reggaetón too! And other Spanish genres related to that. Nunchaku and Bō don't speak Spanish, but they do still understand most of what's in those songs too. Besides, sometimes it's about enjoy the music and the beat, even if you can't understand the words!

Okay, also, I am going to give extra attention to my DT OCs specifically, with some extra particulars for each:

Sai likes salsa music, especially to sing along with, but like I mentioned in my big Devil Theory post, he never sings in front of other people. (Rise is the only exception, hee hee)

Nunchaku likes rock and metal music! And almost every subgenre for these two you can think of, like punk rock and nu metal.

Bō likes old school EDM/disco stuff, though in contrast to most other people, he especially likes EDM songs with a slow tempo. Bit of a contradiction since most people associate EDM with fast tempos and beats.

Daishō likes listening to horror media soundtracks, because of course he does, lol

FUTURISM

EDM in general, I would think. In contrast to DOT EXE, I imagine they're largely into newer songs and subgenres in that giant genre!

---

I would give personal favorites for some of the genres mentioned here, but man, that'd make this post way too long. Hell, EDM in general covers so many subgenres.

Actually, I think I can at least link some playlists I've made? Just 3 (for now?), because I have like 20 something playlists for different music, a bunch of them being for OCs I haven't talked about publicly. But I digress. :P

A playlist of reggaetón songs specifically. Okay actually tbh I think a few of these are of a different but still kinda related genre. If you can't tell by the name, I was planning at some point to pick like 5 favorites from this and make an actual mixtape to mod into BRC. I'm not sure if I'm ever gonna get back to that. :u

A playlist of mostly salsa songs, though like with the previous playlist, I think some of these are actually a different-but-related genre.

A playlist of EDM songs, mostly my favorites from a particular set of music channels! And it covers a lot of different subgenres: house, trap, drum & bass, even a few electro swing songs in there too.

Alright, now that's it! :>

[sassyfrassboss]

I think she spent a ton on PR. Millions most likely. I also would be willing to bet she spent millions on decorating that house. Their security also has to be pricey because it seems like they hire a ton of guards when they go out for events.

Glad to see you back, for however long we have you. sorry to hijack your inbox..

To your point Sassy, I would like to add/point out something... The luxury lifestyle (faux Royal) Lifestyle MM is trying to emulate is expensive as we have all said before. There is a reason celebrities don't spend the way MM does. And those that do, have money coming in by the tens of millions every year guaranteed, be it real estate, Investments, Own businesses, and stuff like that, the likes of Beyonce, Taylor swift, Lady Gaga, Rihanna, Johnny Depp, Kim K and the rest. They can afford the 24hr high tech security because they can rely on their other incomes to generate revenue (Whilst they sleep they are still earning money) i.e Beyonce (doubt this will happen), she can balance it out by doing a concert in Dubai, for 23 million dollars. (there is a reason they were able to buy the most expensive home in California worth 200 million) or release and album and do a tour like other artists. People like Depp can do it because for their own health (drug/alcohol addiction) and they also amassed wealth to the point it wouldn't hurt them one bit to have said security. Lets not talk about Kim K.

There is a reason actors and A listers don't so security, except for specific events, its expensive, attracts attention, and literally screams look at me.

Buying a 14million dollar home, with a mortgage, property taxes, 24hr security, Household staff, Archewell staff, Private Jets, PR management, Lawyers retainer and fees for all the lawsuits they come up with. exclusive packages, Clothes, Interior design of the olive garden... All of this with no guarantee of returns. (because MM is lazy). I wonder which financial/Wealth manager advised them because... I would have fired them immediately. No wealth manager worth their salt would let their client hedge their bets on the spotify, random house and Netflix contracts that have yet to be fulfilled. They would tell you, let the money come in the bank accounts and then make those purchase... especially during the start of Covid.

As much as i don't like Todger at least he is working for his supper. Heart of Invictus, The South Africa doc (should he get someone good to direct it, it could be good), The Spare, and the interviews/promotion of the book i.e Gabor Mate, Job at Better Up.

Madam got 80M and thought that will be enough? What exactly has she done for that money? The bench? Archetypes?, 40 X40?,Pearl? all flops... her Ideas are not generating income of any kind.

The doc was both of them so credit goes to both.

Great points!

Thanks! I will try and stick around for a few days this time. I do lurk on here but tend to come back for the juicy stuff.

They are living a champagne lifestyle on a basic beer budget.