#ex-friends becoming your friends again is my SHIT like i’d never do it but it’s sooo painful and good

[milimeters-morales]

okay so i’m kinda wondering if i should bring wolverine into the biker au because of the fire that destroys Peter’s entire apartment complex (i’ll explain later) and so he needs a place that’s relatively safe enough for Miles to stay, and is like “well the x-mansion is still a thing right?” because like. there ARE heroes and stuff in the world, miles and peter just aren’t them. but, i also dont see how exactly this is a good thing besides “safe enough i guess, he can also train his powers there” because remember Miles has like. FRESH trauma from his time with Aaron and now the fire and add already severe attachment issues onto that?? yeah no Peter actually wants to keep an eye on him, and work with him through all that, BUT. he’s homeless. he has no plan. May’s dead. so like Peter really isn’t able to care for Miles in a way he needs to (Miles’s arm is broken so add that to the list of stuff Peter can’t help with) and doesn’t know anyone else who can help and doesn’t want to let the authorities catch him, so x-mansion is his only real idea for Miles right now actually wait. problem solved i’ll just let them stay at a hotel or motel for a while . until Peter can find a more permanent place for them to stay. Maybe i’ll even let Matt save the day but that means i’d have to reveal his face to them… hm much to think about

[jamminvroomvroom]

Now hear me out… Lando with a daddy kink. I rest my case (and send in my request).

heart to heart.

ln x fem!reader

in which you’re heartbroken and lando knows exactly what you’ve always wanted.

oh, anon. how i love you. ngl haven’t written this trope much before so this was a baby-steps attempt… but it’s intense smut lmao. keep sending in requests guys, i’m getting through them (slowly)!! anyways enjoy, love you, tell me what you think <3

songs to set the mood: heart to heart by mac demarco

warnings: 18+ minors DNI!! smut, language, daddy kink (help), breeding kink (lord forgive me), friends to lovers (implied), mentions of cheating (not reader or lando), dom!lando, sub!reader

1.4k words

you’ve been friends for years.

sometimes it felt like the door was open for more, only to be quickly slammed shut when a cute barista handed you his number, or when lando slid into a bikini models dm’s. bottom line: it never ended up crossing that line and becoming more.

you’re crying on his couch when the line finally blurs.

“i just- i just thought…” you choke out a sob that cuts you off.

“what, honey?” lando coos, brushing some damp hairs away from your streaming eyes.

“i thought i’d marry him. how stupid is that?” you whimper. this is the worst breakup you’d gone through to date, and just like when anything goes wrong, lando is there with a spare shoulder for you to cry on. he always knew that your ex was a piece of shit but his warnings fell on deaf ears. “we talked about kids and houses. he asked me my fucking ring size.” you spat. all of this happened, of course, before you found out he’d been cheating on you with his boss’s assistant.

“you’re not stupid, honey.” lando pulls you in closer to his side.

you stay there for a while, letting the tears fall until there are no more left to cry and your face is drying up. your head rests on his shoulder, and when you turn it to look up at him, he’s already looking down at you.

pink lips are parted, slicked with a swipe of his tongue. two blue eyes turned to an icy grey dart between your own lustful pair and your lips, parted only to expel shallow, shaky breaths.

“kids and a nice big lawn, is that what you want?” he whispers. you shift against the couch, trying to hide the shiver the low gravelly tone of his voice shoots down your spine.

“mhm.” you nod slightly, sinking into his side and his eyes.

time speeds up for a moment; the hand he has wrapped around you finds your waist, and somehow he manoeuvres you onto his lap. it feels odd. odd, because it’s right. it’s new and yet it feels… familiar.

“why’d you waste all that time with those assholes, hm?” his voice is mocking, and your knees squeeze around his hips. “could’ve given you all that years ago. fucked a baby into you and put a nice, shiny ring on this finger.” lando pulls your ring finger between his lips, holding eye contact as he swirls his tongue around the digit. you tremble against him, his filthy words almost sending you slack against him.

“didn’t know you wanted me.” you pant.

“i’m gonna do things to you that will make sure that you never doubt me again.”

and he does.

you’re crying on his mattress, overstimulated, yet desperate for more. these are the only kind of tears he ever wants you to cry. he’s been between your legs for what feels like so long that hours could have passed and you wouldn’t question a thing. his tongue works over and over your throbbing clit and your hands rake through tangled curls.

“lando, please.” you chant, over and over again. you don’t know what you’re asking him for, but he seems to get it, because he doesn’t stop.

two fingers find your entrance, sodden with the remnants of more orgasms than you can count. in slides one, twisting deliciously before it’s joined by the second. you ascend, pretty much instantly, so overwhelmed by how good he’s managed to make you feel. your orgasm builds too quickly, and you’re dripping down his wrist before you can even tell him you’re close.

lando chuckles, tongue tracing the mess you’ve left as he shuffles on his knees between your legs. then, he’s hovering over you, balancing on one of his forearms whilst his other hand traces the curve of your body.

“having fun, honey?” he bumps his nose against yours, lips meeting yours a brief second later. it feels as good and as right the first time he kissed you earlier, and he licks into your mouth, deep and sensual. you moan into the kiss when you taste yourself on his tongue.

you can feel his cock brushing against your folds and you melt into the mattress, keening at his the feeling of him everywhere. your shaky hands skim his torso, feeling every dip and ridge under your fingertips. golden skin tenses, rippling flesh taut against your palms. your hips buck into his.

“tell me what you want, honey. need to hear you say it.”

“fuck me.” you mutter, rolling your hips once more. the angle you create means that his cock catches your folds and you can’t help but whine his name.

“how?” lando smirks, your chin trapped between his fingers. he makes you look at him, and you curse yourself for not doing this sooner.

“what you said earlier…” you choke out, trailing off.

“what did i say earlier?” he tease. you groan in frustration.

“please, lando.” you’re too hot, blush stains your cheeks and your neck.

“is my sweet girl getting shy?” he pecks your lips, kisses down your neck. when he reaches your ear, he tugs on the lobe. all you can feel is sharp teeth and warm breath. everything is slick.

“it’s okay, honey.” lando continues. “i remember. remember those wide eyes and pouty lips when i told you what i can give you. gonna make me a daddy, baby? finally gonna be mine?” he whispers, right into your ear. all you see is white.

finally.

“daddy.” you pant, when he finally slides into you, hard and deep.

“that’s it, baby.” lando grunts, hooking your thigh over his hip. you can feel the way his fingers dig in to your flesh, stopping him from falling apart instantly. his other hand takes your wrists, pushes them up the mattress until they’re pinned right above your head and he’s hovering over you, perfectly level. chest to chest, heart to heart.

shallow thrusts aid the deep grind of his hips, rolling slowly into yours. he’s everywhere, nothing separating your needy, flushed bodies. he never pulls all the way out, stays buried as deep as he can, and repeatedly hits that spot inside of you that allows you to see every star in the sky. you’re breathless, soundless, utterly helpless as you drown in him and everything he has to offer you.

you wonder if he’ll actually spill into you, mark you as his. it makes you dizzy, makes you shake, the idea of nothing stopping him from making such a mess between your spread legs. you want to beg for it but you can’t, the raging, wet pleasure in the pit of your belly rendering you speechless. all you manage is a dry plea of half of his name.

“lan-“ you begin, but he kisses the rest of the word out of his mouth.

“no, honey, that’s not my name.” he rasps, talks down to you in a way that pushes you even closer to sweet release.

“daddy. want you to be daddy.” you slur.

the reaction you get from him is worth every heartache you’ve ever suffered. his rhythm changes and now he’s slamming into you, and the sensation makes you cry some more, thick tears sliding down your neck which he tastes, licks away.

but then everything is soaking. you gush around him and his abs glisten. your throat burns from the scream, and then there’s silence, just for a moment.

“fucking hell.” he shudders, transfixed on the thin layer of you that seems to be everywhere.

he’s wrapped around you tight when he lets go, muttering unintelligible filth in your ear as he does. you stay intertwined for a moment, trying to piece together what you’d just done.

when lando eventually rolls off of you, he takes every inch of you in, a beautiful canvas covered in a memory. his eyes are warm again, soft. whatever had possessed him is long gone and he’s just lando again. your lando.

you attempt to wriggle across the mattress, seeking refuge in your forgotten pile of clothes on the floor. he stops you in your feeble attempts to peel your lifeless body off of his bed.

“hey, it’s okay, honey. let me look after you.” he coos, gentle sitting you up. “you okay?”

“thank you.” you whisper. your lips meet, fleetingly, delicate.

“‘m gonna take care of you, baby.” he promises. you believe him.

-

i don’t know what came over me lmao whoops

-

taglist

@boysthatgovroomvroom @thegirlinthefandoms @welld0nebaku @mcmuppet @japanesekel @vinvantae @ggaslyp1 @dr3lover @smiithys  @rachstash @infinitebells @multilovebot @fizzpopsnap101 @gaily19 @icecoldtires @mysticalnightenthusiast @thatchickwiththecamera @oyesmendes @disneydaydreameralways @canyouseethesainz @ferrarifwendvale @fcbformulaeri @tony-stank3 @maih23 @nokiaholland @soleilgrec @carolineworld @anthonykatebridgerton @allywthsr @iamasimpingh0e @ophcelia @lovelynikol16 @coffeehurricanes @jennx03 @blueflorals @lqvesoph @sidcrosbyspuck @better-dead-than-smeg @buendiabebeta @pjofics @kovalcin @wintergilmore3 @for-writing-shit @youdontknowmeshh @im-an-overthinker @jule239 @darleneslane

removed any tags that weren’t working! lemme know if you wanna be added or removed <3

[reidsdimples]

“I gave your girlfriend cunnalingus on my couch”

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Smut & Fluff (if you squint) 18+❤️‍🔥

Your cheating ex gets what’s coming to him when Spencer shows you what you truly deserve.

Just a little fantasy I had based on this song

Spencer opens his front door just barely after you finish knocking. You rub your arms as you hug yourself tight, trying not to cry anymore. When you see those sympathetic doe eyes though, you feel apart and collapsed into your best friend’s arms. He was warm, solid, unwavering. He always has been.

He closes the door behind you and gently guides you to his couch. You sniffle and wipe your tears. You’d been here before. Somehow you always end up in Spencer’s arms after your boyfriend cheats on you.

Even though you and Spencer no longer work together, the two of you have always been close. So when you took a new job in a different department, it didn’t affect your friendship.

“What happened?” He asks gently. He sits a mug of warm coffee on the table in front of you. Of course it was sweetened to your liking.

“Got off of work early, they were in my bed,” you seethe.

“Same girl?” He stares through you, his anger clear in the flexing of his perfect jaw.

“Nope,” you sigh. “I kicked him out. I don’t care anymore. He better be gone by morning,” you shake your head.

“So you wanna crash here?” He grins and nudges your arm playfully.

“Please,” you pucker your lip. His eyes linger on your mouth for a moment then he stands.

“You are always welcome,” he retrieves his phone which pinged with a text. He’s leaning on his counter casually with his long legs crossed at the ankles, looking unreal in a hoodie and pajama pants.

You and Spencer had never gone there. But you had thought about it… a lot. Now, sitting on his couch, heartbroken again, you find yourself wanting him closer than ever.

Your phone finds.

Leon

You ignore it, a fowl taste in your mouth. He calls again which becomes Spencer over with a pillow and a blanket.

Leon: come on babe, we both know you’ll get over it. Just come home

You scowl at the screen and drop your phone on his coffee table.

“I can’t believe I’ve put up with his shit for two years. Every time I say I’m done, I take him back,” you drop your head into your hands.

“I know you don’t like it when I profile you…” he starts.

“Give it to me doctor,” you tell him. No way you could feel worse.

“He’s carefully worn you down slowly. He has destroyed your self esteem and made you subconsciously believe you’re worth nothing better than him. He relishes in the power he’s taken from you. You crave intimacy and fear being alone so you take him back, you can’t help it,” he takes the seat next to you. The couch dips slightly.

You know he’s right, he’s always right.

“How do I… not do that,” you’re feeling vulnerable.

“Prove to yourself that you can do better,” he pushes and gently grips your hand.

You scoff in a disbelieving ‘yeah right’ manner and turn look away from him. You can’t bear his intense stare at the moment.

“I’m serious… you…” he pauses on a groan as if he’s fighting not to say something. His thumb brushes over your skin gently, sending chills up your arm.

“What?” You urge him.

“You are gorgeous, and powerful. You own a room when you walk into it and somehow you have no idea that all eyes are on you. You have the ability to drive a man to his knees but you keep letting Leon bring you to yours,” he shakes his head. Anger has crept into Spencer’s demeanor. “It’s not fair.”

“Fair?” You ask because his words have rendered you nearly speechless. He his squeezes your gently, he look away and looks back into your eyes.

“It’s not fair that he’s treating you this way. If I had the chance, I’d worship you.”

You’re pretty sure your jaw is on the floor. Spencer… Spencer Reid didn’t say those things, Spencer didn’t fantasize about you the way you do him. It’s impossible.

Your sheer lack of give a shit about anything spurs you to grip the collar of his hoodie and pull him towards you. He collapses to his knees before you and stares up into your eyes. He’s torn between astonishment and amusement.

“Worship me how?” You tease him.

He grins, his tongue darts out to moisten his bottom lip. His strong hands rest on your thighs and squeeze. You inhale a sharp breath.

“It doesn’t even have to mean anything. But you need to know that you can do better,” he implores and situates himself between your still clothed legs.

“And you’re the better I’m assuming?” You poke his nose and lean back on the couch. You lift your hips when he locks his fingers in your waistband and tugs. You silently follow his lead.

“I’ll let you be the judge of that,” he gently kisses your ankle as he tosses your jeans on the ground.

He props that same ankle on his shoulder and begins kissing up your leg. You want to tell him he’s the better man in every way, that he always has been.

But his fingers are fire against your skin, his lips soft and teasing as he plants soft kisses on your thighs.

Your phone rings again. Spencer looks up and laughs a breathless sort of laugh against your skin.

A text comes through and you look at it lazily while you play in Spencer’s hair. His fingers dig massage your thighs as he starts to nip at your soft skin.

Leon: where are you?

You smirk as an idea flies to you, one that would exact the perfect revenge. You place your hand on the crown of Spencer’s head and snap a photo from your point of view.

He laughs when you show him the picture. His identify is concealed and Leon doesn’t know Spencer. You send the photo of the “mystery man” between your legs to your cheating ass boyfriend. You finally toss your phone away, eager to focus on said man.

“Are you using me?” He tutts and tugs on your lace panties with his teeth. His breath fans across your pussy and causes goosebumps to trail up your skin and harden your nipples.

“Is that okay?” You playfully pucker out your bottom lip and bat your eyelashes.

“Mhmm,” he answers mindlessly because he’s tugging your underwear aside.

He gets a glimpse of you and you’re perfect and he’s amazed. He kisses your pussy lips softly, eliciting a soft moan. You want more of him, you need more friction.

You put your other leg on his opposite shoulder and pull him closer. That’s all the prompting he needs. He holds your underwear out of the way completely and dives into you as you open up for him.

Spencer’s lips are warm, his strong tongue pushing and prodding against your most sensitive areas. Your clit is given special attention but he notes how much you enjoy his tongue inside of you.

“Spencer,” you cry.

He holds girls your thighs and laps at you like a man starved.

“So perfect, angel,” he praises and slips his tongue back into your entrance.

He drags it upward and flicks it against your clit causing you to twitch.

“Mmm right there,” you beg and push his head closer.

He obeys and keeps his pace steady and unrelenting against your clit. You inhale deeply as your climax builds and you don’t remember the last time you’ve felt so wanted, felt so good.

He moans into your cunt when you start to greedily grind against his face. He masters the pace you need and tilts you right over the edge. Your orgasm seizes you all at once and your legs shake. He eats you through it and your eyes roll back in your head.

“Oh god,” you shudder.

He looks up at you as though asking if he did good and wipes his mouth.

“Woah,” you pant.

He grins and you pull him up to kiss him. You had never kissed Spencer before but doing so felt so … right. He leans against you and cradles you softly, his hands on either side of your face as though he needs to keep you close.

Your lips slot against each others perfectly as if in tune to one another already. You savor the taste of him and how it mixes with your arousal already on his tongue.

Somehow you both moan into the kiss at the same time. It prompts a small laugh from the two of you and he rests his forehead against yours. He’s still leaning between your legs, well, more like lazily resting there as though beyond content.

You hear your phone buzzing and you think it must have been the whole time.

You scoff.

“For the record, Spencer, you’ve always been the better man. I just never would have thought you’d be interested,” you admit. He furrows his brow and moves up to set beside you. He faces you with his legs crossed.

You note his messy hair, crooked collar, and doe eyes which give him a boyish kind of charm.

“You’re so far out of my league that I never pursued you,” his voice notes the irony of the situation. “You don’t have to choose me. Or anyone. Ever. I just want you to be happy,” he says honestly.

Your phone vibrates again. Spencer stares at it and hands it to you.

6 Missed Calls

8 Texts Messages

4 Voicemails

“Thank you,” you smirk. “Right now I want to get over this asshole and spend time with you. In equal measure.”

“We can do that.” He leans back in the couch and you crawl against him.

You play the most recent voicemail which is just Leon blubbering and sobbing about “how could you do this to me” despite him cheating for your entire relationship.

You and Spencer get a good laugh out of Leon misery and then he reaches for a book.

“Read to me?” You sigh contently.

He does, until you fall asleep peacefully in his arms.

[tavolgisvist]

What we were talking about

The teenage Paul McCartney would love the idea of fame. That’s what he was trying to do, that was the dream. But it’s funny – life gives you minor premonitions. You don’t think of them as premonitions until the dream comes true and then you think, ‘Hey, I wonder if that was a sign’. I remember when John and I were first hanging out together, I had a dream about digging in the garden with my hands. I’d dreamt that before but I’d never found anything other than an old tin can. But in this dream I found a gold coin. I kept digging and I found another. And another. The next day I told John about this amazing dream I’d had and he said, ‘That’s funny, I had the same dream’. So both of us had this dream of finding this treasure. And I suppose you could say it came true. I remember years later talking about it – ‘Remember that dream we had?’; ‘Yeah, that was far out’. So the message of that dream was: keep digging lads.

(Paul McCartney, Feb 2012, interview for The Big Issue)

Paul: They’re onto that thing. They just want to be near to each other. So I just think it’s just silly of me, or of anyone, to try and say to him, “No, you can’t,” you know. It’s like, ‘cause – okay, they’re – they’re going overboard about it, but John always does! And Yoko probably always does. So that’s their scene. You can’t go saying – you know, “Don’t go overboard about this thing. Be sensible about it. Don’t bring it to meetings.” It’s his decision, that. It’s – it’s none of our business, to start interfering in that. Even when it comes into our business, you still can’t really say much, unless – except, “Look, I don’t like it, John.” And then he can say, well, “Screw you,” or, “I like it,” or, “Well, I won’t do it so much,” or blablabla. Like, that’s the only way, you know. To tell John about that. Michael Lindsay-Hogg: Have you done that already? Paul: Well, I told him I didn’t like writing songs… with him and Yoko.

(Paul McCartney, Get Back sessions, 13 January, 1969)

John’s John. John wants to wipe everything away and start again, but in doing so he never wipes anything away. He wants it to be him and Yoko against the world, or whatever, but he`s still in with all the others, in with all the contracts and going into the meetings and everything. “He’s getting pissed off with it though – I sense it. I’ve had a couple of good conversations recently with just John, and I’ve felt a lot of common ground with him.* And I watched him on the Parkinson show, and really a lot of the things he’s into, we’re into as well.”

(Paul McCartney, Nov 1971, interview with Steve Peacock for Sounds)

*after John’s ‘Imagine’ with HDYS but befor John's letter to Paul in Melody Maker

More about fight John and Paul had through the Melody Maker here

There’s no hard feelings or anything, but you just don’t hang around with your ex-wife. We’ve completely finished. ’Cos, you know, I’m just not that keen on John after all he’s done. I mean, you can be friendly with someone, and they can shit on you, and you’re just a fool if you keep friends with them. I’m not just going to lie down and let him shit on me again. I think he’s a bit daft, to tell you the truth. I talked to him about the Klein thing, and he’s so misinformed it’s ridiculous.**

(Paul McCartney interviewed by student journalist Ian McNulty for the Hull University Torch, May 1972 [From The McCartney Legacy, Volume 1: 1969 – 1973 by Allan Kozinn and Adrian Sinclair, 2022)

**after John's letter to Paul in Melody Maker (published 4th Dec 1971)

We'd had a bread strike over here*** and I rang him and I was saying, What are you doing? He says. I'm baking some bread.' 'Oh! Me too.' Imagine, with the stereotypes, John and Paul talking about baking bread.

(Paul McCartney, May 2001, interview for Mojo magazine)

***a bread strike in England was in Nov 1978

Q: Do you regret that your life has become so public? A: I realized that a good fifteen years ago. I remember actually thinking when I went on holiday somewhere, ‘God I’d really better start thinking now about keeping a few countries aside where we don’t sell records. I won’t be able to go anywhere without being recognized.’ But now I think, ‘Really, I’ve reached the point of no return. There’s no going back.’ Even if I didn’t want to sing anymore, I’d just be like Greta Garbo or Brigitte Bardot. They both retired but you’d never know it. John said this to me a year before he died. He said, ‘Be careful what you wish for, it might just come true.’ That’s the way I look at it. I wished for all this and I got it. To regret it would mean I’d have to sit here and live with negative thoughts about it. I know that would only sink me. Even if I had feelings of regret my personality would not really let them out. ‘Look mate, you don’t regret it. Look on the other side,’ that’s me. Not to sink. I always used to do that instinctively, and not allow too many negative thoughts to surface.

(Paul McCartney, April/May 1982, interview for Music Express)

Q: Do you remember your last conversation with John? A: Yes. That is a nice thing, a consoling factor for me, because I do feel it was sad that we never actually sat down and straightened our differences out. But fortunately for me, the last phone conversation I ever had with him was really great, and we didn’t have any kind of blowup. It could have easily been one of the other phone calls, when we blew up at each other and slammed the phone down. PLAYBOY: Do you remember what you talked about? PAUL: It was just a very happy conversation about his family, my family. Enjoying his life very much; Sean was a very big part of it. And thining about getting on with his career. I remember he said, “Oh, God, I’m like Aunt Mimi, padding round here in me dressing gown”– robe, as he called it, ’cause he was picking up the American vernacular –“feeding the cats in me robe and cooking and putting a cup of tea on. This housewife wants a career!” It was that time for him. He was about to launch Double Fantasy.*

(Paul McCartney, Dec 1984, interview for Playboy)

*Double Fantasy released 17 November 1980

I tell you, he said one thing to me which made me understand what they were up to just as two people, not as anything else. Just as two people. He just said, ‘I tell you, it’s like holding hands on the back row of the pictures.’ <…> John. . . he says, ‘It’s too bad if I look. . . if we look, like people think we’re funny. It’s too bad. This is how we are and we’re very straight.’ ’Cause they are, really. They’re two great people, you know, and they’re very much in love. So you can’t say anything more than that.

(Paul McCartney, May 1969, interview with Roy Corlett)

SALEWICZ: Well, I always found it interesting the fact that he got – I mean, it seemed too much like coincidence to me, the fact that he got married a week or month after you. You know what I mean? PAUL: Yeah. I think we spurred each other into marriage. I mean, you know. They were very strong together, which left me out of the picture. So I got together with Linda and then we got strong with our own kind of thing. And I used to listen to a lot of what they said. I remember him saying to me, "You've got to work at marriage," which is something I still remember as a bit of advice. I still remember that. Um… And then yeah, I think they were a little bit peeved that we got married first. Probably. In a little way, you know, just minor jealousies. And so they got married. I don't know if that's – I mean, who knows… [inaudible] making it up, anyway.

(Paul McCartney, 1986, interview with Chris Salewicz for Q Magazine)

I spoke to the Eastmans. I said, “If we all think he’s not going to have a tax consequence, let’s give [the indemnity] to him.”’Cause, you know, if all sides are that smart, let’s all offer it. Break the deadlock. I went to New York, feeling like the bringer of good news. I rang him up. “Hello, John, how are you? Hello, how’s the kids? Oh, great. What’s all this about publishing? Yeah, great”—laugh laugh laugh—“What about Apple?” Tense. You know, that was the unfortunate thing in the last ten years. The moment you mention the word Apple, all of us go, eeeeep! Dread and horror and shock goes through all our systems. I said, “Look, as I understand it, you need this indemnity.” John said, “Fucking indemnity. Fucking this, fucking that. You don’t need to give me fucking indemnity, you fucking—” I think we ended up just sort of swearing at each other. I said, “Fuck you, ya big cunt,” ’cause I just couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t be sweet and reasonable anymore. I was shaking for an hour after that. Of course, the funniest thing was, I then meant to ring John Eastman and say to him, “No, no, it’s not gonna work, this whole thing. I tried to do the indemnity, it’s not gonna work.” Of course, I got the phone numbers wrong. I rang John Lennon back instead. [When the phone was answered, I said,] “Hello, John? Yeah, listen, I just—oh—yeah well…” But it was Yoko this time, and then I said, “Look, I didn’t mean for it to get like that—but, shit, you know, it seems to have got…” The funny thing was, they knew I was trying to ring John Eastman immediately after, so that would have reinforced their little feelings about me double-dealing. I’ve hardly talked to him since. I rang last Christmas, and I was smart enough not to mention Apple. We had a pleasant conversation. I was allowed to talk to his son, which was lovely. His son seemed very nice.

(Paul McCartney, 1980, in All You Need Is Love by Peter Brown and Steven Gaines)

We were submerged in business troubles at the time. There was incredible bitterness. At one point, to get some peace in the camp, I told my lawyers I wanted to give John an indemnity he had been seeking against a certain clause in one of the Apple contracts. I said, “Someone’s gotta make the first move. I’d love to be the voice of reason here.” I happened to be on my way to the Caribbean, so, passing through New York, I rang John up. But there was so much suspicion, even though I came bearing the olive branch. I said, “Hey, I’d like to see you.” He said, “What for? What do you really want?” It was very difficult. Finally . . . he had a great line for me: he said, “You’re all pizza and fairy tales.” He’d become sort of Americanized by then, so the best insult I could think of was to say, “Oh, fuck off, Kojak,” and slam the phone down. “Pizza and fairy tales” – I almost made that an album title. That was about the strength of our relationship then – very, very bitter – and we didn’t get over that for a long, long time. But thank God, at the very end, we suddenly realized that all we had to do was not mention Apple if we phoned each other. We could talk about the kids, talk about his cats, talk about writin’ songs – the one paramount thing was not to mention Apple. So then the last couple of phone calls we had were getting very nice. I remember once he said to me, “Do they play me against you like they play you against me?” Because there were always people in the background pitting us against each other. And I said, “Yeah, they do. They sure do.” That was a couple of months before he . . . it’s still weird even to say, “before he died.” I still can’t come to terms with that. I still don’t believe it. It’s like, you know, those dreams you have, where he’s still alive; then you wake up and . . . “Oh.”

(Paul McCartney, September 1986, interview with Kurt Loder for Rolling Stones)

add to this

and this

[restinslices]

Liar Pt2

Me finally writing the part 2?! Wow! So this part is honestly filler. It's Matthias being in his own head and meeting Nina, who will become an ally. Imma be real, nothing happens BUT LISTEN- it's setting shit up. Have faith. Enjoy his mental crisis. Druskelle!Matthias Helvar x Heartrender!Wife!Reader (she does not make an apperance-) Word Count: 2059 Summary: Ever since you've left, Matthias has had conflicting thoughts about your relationship and it's driving him insane, but an unlikely friend makes him realize not all hope is lost. Y/N - Your Name D/N - Daughter Name Link to part 1

(Lowkey should've used this gif for part 1 and part1's for this, but rip)

“Dear my love and life,

I don’t know what to say. Maybe I should say sorry again for the whatever thousandth time. I never know how to start these, so I always say I’m sorry. I wish Djel gave me the power to go back in time and fix the mistakes I’ve made. I wish I could go back and hug you when you told me about you being Grisha, instead of pushing you away. I wish I would’ve held you and told you I’d forever love you instead of calling you a witch. I wish when I woke up, I had my wife beside me and my daughter in the room next to ours. I have lots of wishes, and since I can’t change the past, I have a wish that’s selfish and cruel.

I wish you both were dead. I wish that the Druskelle had found and killed you two, or all of you instead of just Elise and Erik. 

I know I sound terrible, but not knowing where you are or how you are hurts more than you two being dead. I wish that one day, I’m sitting at home and someone comes in to say they found and killed you both.

Am I a bad person for thinking this? I’ve heard rumors about other countries. I’ve heard Ravka trains their children for war. I’ve heard Shu Han does terrible experiments on Grisha. I’ve heard in The Wandering Isle that the Kaelish kill Grisha so they can drink their blood. I’ve heard in Kerch, Grisha are put under contracts and basically become slaves. I’d rather you be dead than go through any of that. 

My love, you remember the day I proposed to you. I know you do. What you don’t know is that the night before I did so, I sat outside for hours. I couldn’t possibly sleep when I was terrified about what I was gonna do. I saw a star that shined brighter than the others, and for some reason, I thought it could be Djel watching over me. I prayed and begged Djel to convince you to say yes, and you did. 

Maybe that’s what I’m doing wrong. Maybe I’m too busy wishing, instead of praying, but I haven’t felt like praying in so long. Maybe if I find that star again, he’ll hear me better like he did the first time. Maybe I’ll get another chance and we’ll all run away. Maybe-”

“Anything going on up there?” the Grisha woman asked.

Matthias found himself writing a lot since you left. Not in some diary though. He’d write letters to you and his daughter, then throw them in the fireplace and watch it be engulfed in flames. 

At first the letters were angry and full of betrayal. You lied to him for years. You used him. That’s what he thought at first.

It had been days and you hadn’t been caught. He happened to have paper and ink around him, so he wrote this letter filled with insults, profanities and accusations, then he threw it in the fireplace. Although he wrote all this down, about how you were a liar and a witch, he didn’t go with the druskelle to try and capture you. Others assumed that your “witchcraft” made him still feel sick, but in reality, Matthias knew deep down that if he saw you he wouldn’t be able to take the shot. He would’ve been expected to either kill or capture his ex wife and child and he knew he couldn't. You were his love, and once your daughter was born, you both promised each other to make her number one in your lives. You’d raise her with love and guidance and make sure she never knew a lonely day. You even promised each other that if one was to die, the other had to keep going everyday even if they didn’t want to. You both promised to make her your whole life. Now he was expected to forget all about that. He wanted to forget all about you, but he couldn’t.

His letters went from angry to pleading. Sometimes his letters would be destroyed by his own tears before it even reached the fire. This especially happened whenever an important date passed, like your daughter’s birthday. It hit him hard then. The loneliness became more apparent. Matthias had quit being a Druskelle, telling Brum some bullshit about how his head still didn’t feel right and he didn’t want to mess something up. In reality, being a Druskelle didn’t feel right anymore. His brothers gave him sympathy, saying you were evil and he was strong for realizing this and breaking out of your spell, but it didn’t make sense. When people look back at their memories with a manipulator or abuser, they notice signs. They see things they didn’t see before. And while Matthias did indeed notice signs that you were Grisha, he didn’t see any signs of evil. 

Matthias knew you even before his family was killed, and you stood by him as he mourned. You stayed even when he was sure you’d leave. How could you possibly be evil? It didn’t make sense. 

Matthias doesn’t know why he accepted Brum’s offer to go on another exploration. Maybe it was loneliness. He had practically isolated himself for two years. No more you. No more D/N. No more brotherhood.

Or maybe he was hoping somehow they’d find you and he’d be able to escape with you.

Either way, he accepted. A mistake.

The boat ended up sinking and Matthias was sure he’d die, until he suddenly felt his heart speeding up in his chest. When he came to, he realized one of the Grisha, a heartrender with brown hair and a smart mouth, had saved him. Granted, it was just so he could push them to shore, but at least he was breathing.

They found a hut, slept by each other, and that’s when he realized two things.

Number one, your wedding ring, which he always kept in his pocket, was gone.

Number two, when the woman sped his heart up so he stayed warm, it felt familiar. It was how he felt when he laid next to you. He always assumed that maybe his heart beat so fast because being near you was the greatest honor and he hadn’t gotten used to it. He’d still say that was true, but the reality was that you used your power to keep him warm every single night. If he hadn’t been around someone, he might’ve cried.

He heard fingers snapping next to his ear. “Druskelle? Anyone up there?”.

Matthias blinked hard to snap himself out of his thoughts, then cleared his throat. His eyes had been on the fire in front of him the whole time, as if he could burn his letter like he usually did. He looked to the side as the woman sat next to him. He couldn’t even remember what they were talking about.

It was as if she read his mind since next she said, “you were telling me all about Fjerdan woman then you stopped. Hoping one appears?”.

“Yes” he answered without thinking.

~~~

Matthias refused to answer any of her questions. In all honesty, she was annoying him. She was incredibly nosey and kept insisting they were lost, but they couldn’t have been lost because Druskelle didn’t get lost! All trees look the same! Rocks look the same! A certain patch of snow looked the same as other patches of snow!

They were lost. Dammit.

Matthias sat on a big rock with a flat top in defeat. What good was being alive if they were just gonna freeze to death?

The woman sat next to him, “I’m gonna ask a few questions if you don’t mind”.

“I do mind”.

“What’s your name? I like ‘Dumb Druskelle’ but surely you were born with something else. Todd? A Kevin maybe? James?”. Matthias hated she gave the same comfort a friend would. It was strange. He didn’t know her, but he had been so lonely that he enjoyed having someone else near. And if he was gonna die, he wouldn’t mind dying with someone else. 

Although Matthias was silent, she kept going. “Who’s back home for you?”.

“No one” he thought.

The woman pulled something out of one of her pockets and presented it to him. It was your wedding ring, the one he thought probably sunk to the bottom of the ocean. Before he could speak she said “I grabbed it before it sunk too far. Figured I could use it as leverage to make you get us to shore, but you agreed before I could”. Matthias took it and since no one he knew was around, he put it back on.

Some people prefer the feeling of a weight lifting off of them, but he preferred the weight the ring added to his finger even if it wasn’t that huge of a change. The woman was still looking at him then he had an idea. If she was Ravkan and you ran there, maybe she knew you! He asked her if he knew a woman fitting your description with a child that had recently came to Ravka. When she said she was usually in and out of the palace, but had gotten a letter from a friend who mentioned a new Grisha with a child he felt conflicted. On one hand, this could’ve been you and this meant you were safe. On the other hand, this meant his daughter was probably being trained to become a soldier for whatever other war Ravka would join. 

She made a sarcastic remark, asking if he had been hunting this woman also and she happened to get away. He spilled his guts then. He told her everything. How you met, how you were always there for him, how you fell in love, your marriage, your child, the incident, him turning on you. All of it. It felt amazing to say out loud to someone else.

“You had an incredible wife but chased her and your child away? Remember when I said there was a brain inside all that muscle? I lied”. He didn’t argue. What was the point? “What would you do if you managed to see her or your child again?”.

He thought about this every night and he still didn’t know. He’d apologize but what then? Let you go? Beg for another chance? What if you had met someone else by now? “I don’t know” he answered honestly “but I’d beg for as long as she wanted me to”.

“You do realize that you were gonna kill more Grisha on that boat right?”

“You would go on trial”

“Your trials are a sham, we’ve been over this. The loneliness won’t end by becoming a Druskelle again. You and I both know it”. Matthias went quiet again as he thought. He hated she was nosey, he hated that everything that came out her mouth was sarcastic or said with an attitude, but more importantly 

He hated she was right.

“I have known one way my entire life. I don’t know how to be anything else. I… I don’t know if I can be better”.

“It’s possible” she said. She stood and moved so she was in his view. “Get on your feet-”. It all happened so quick then. She backed up, then all Matthias heard was the ground crumbling and her screams. He dived down, catching her hands. 

She pleaded for Matthias to pull her up and for a split second, he thought he’d let her fall. 

He refused to turn his back on anyone else though.

He pulled her up and let her catch her breath on the ground. After a few seconds, he stood with his hand outstretched, “Matthias… Helvar”.

She took his hand and let him help her to her feet. “Nina Zenik. Nice to make your acquaintance”. Matthias draped one of the fur coverings he was wearing on her shoulders then they started walking again.

“You saved my life”

“I put you in chains. It was the least I could do”.

“That’s all very true, but I was going to say something before I fell”. Nina grabbed his arm, making him stop and look at her. 

“I’m going to help you find your family”.

A/N: I need to stop deciding to write at 11pm-. Anyway, did anything really happen this part? No. Lowkey this should say part 1.5 but that looks ugly so here we are. I will not procrastinate for another two months, I promise. Also I remembered that Matthias is 18 and ya'll kid is 10, so uhhh let's say the kid is 6 and ya'll are mid twenties. Imma edit the last part too, don't even worry. I think part 3 will be the last part unless I decide it's too long and split it. Taglist: @luvrrish @katie-the-bookworm @favouritefeverdream (Idk if you wanted to be tagged, but you commented so imma do it anyway)

[comic-book-jawns]

Ricochet

“I’m sorry.”

Andrea truly doesn’t want to hurt Lena. She never has.

But this conversation is already nine months overdue. Well, nine months, plus three years. And if she’s doesn’t take advantage of this adrenaline high, she’s not sure when she’ll get the nerve back.

“For how I left.”

The way Lena tenses and crosses her arms tighter around herself tells Andrea she doesn’t have to elaborate.

“It’s fine. It’s not your fault I threw myself at you. And I’m the one who ran first.”

Well, yes, and Andrea obviously does not regret not kissing a 14-year-old back a few days before she left for college.

“I couldn’t give you what you wanted. But I… I could’ve give you closure.”

Lena scoffs.

“I would never have let you.”

Andrea thought so too — it’s how she eventually convinced herself that ghosting her only real friend from boarding school had been for the best.

It’s only occurred to her over the past few months that that was never the point.

“You would’ve known that I’d tried.”

***

Lena had really thought (cringey as it was) that she might actually cry if they won ICCA’s. If she played a part in making Kara’s dream since her freshman year come true.

Only Lena hadn’t really caught on that doing so had become her dream somewhere along the way. And, well, with her track record of dreams coming true…

Unfortunately, turns out that disassociating over placing first in a fucking a cappella competition is far more mortifying than tearing up.

Especially in front of someone like Kara. Not that there is someone else like her.

So she’s supposes she should be rather grateful to her team captain for bringing her back to reality… by bringing up her most mortifying experience of all time.

Of course, crying over your childhood crush saying sorry for not like you back is also quite cringey. But Lena’s dignity has lost sight of the shoreline at this point.

“So, yeah, that - that’s what I wanted to say. In case, being a complete bitch to you since August hasn’t been a sufficient apology.”

On the one hand, Lena is surprised by the genuine laugh that bursts out of her amidst the tears. On the other hand, Andrea is the only person who’s ever rivaled Lena’s dry sense of humor.

“I know it’s not an excuse, but… it was easier than worrying about disappointing you again.”

Already nodding along, ready to wrap this up, Lena freezes when she actually process what Andrea said.

“What?”

At the time, she’d been so blinded by hurt and shame for letting herself dream she ever stood a chance that she’d never even tried to put herself in her ex-best friend’s shoes.

It didn’t occur to her until she was actually getting ready for college herself that she had no idea what she’d do if a 14-year-old girl kissed her out of the blue and said she was in love with her.

Not that that was a remote possibility, Lena having sworn off friendship after convincing herself that Andrea had never given a shit about her.

Trying to convice herself, that is. Because she knew deep down that it was a lie. And that was the most excruciating part.

Still, knowing teenage Andrea had cared about her in some form… Well, Lena hadn’t just run into her at the Activies Fair three years later — very alarmed because it was not school Andrea had left for that summer — and assumed…

“I could never get your face out of my head.”

Humiliating, Lena feels herself blush, full well knowing Andrea didn’t mean it like that, and scratches at her wet cheeks as cover.

“No matter what Lex and your mother did, you - you wouldn’t cry. And I was always relieved.”

Oh? Lena’s not really sure what to say to that. But what really catches her off-guard is the sudden rasp in Andrea’s voice. And when she finally looks at the older girl for the first time since she joined her out here in the parking lot, she finds her swallowing harshly.

“Because I knew how to distract you. I was good at it.”

Andrea meets her gaze with an even more jarring attempt at a smile.

“But in the end, it was me.”

Andrea turns fully away then, her back to Lena, so all she can see is the hand running stiltedly through dark hair still pulled into a bun.

“I made you cry.”

Lena doesn’t need to see her face, though.

***

Precariously carrying five cups of steaming hot tea in her bare hands — every kind available; you’d think a singing competition would have a more robust selection?! — Kara considers it quite an accomplishment that she doesn’t immediately give herself third-degree burns when she finally finds the freshman in the parking lot.

Successfully placing them all down on the pavement doesn’t prove to be much easier, but Kara isn’t willing to tempt fate when she’s so preoccupied with the scene in front of her.

Kara does consider her fellow senior a friend, but more in the way she considers a lot of acquaintances her friends. And, frankly, her treatment of Lena has driven a wedge between them that Kara’s doesn’t know if she’s all that interested in dislodging.

Sure, Kara had eventually convinced her that Lena is the team’s future, literally.

The reason they’d used the same repertoire for years was because no one knew how to arrange new material. Nothing better than what they already had at least.

Andrea had never admitted their severely lacking musicianship, of course. So Kara had done it for her… after not defending Lena when she’d previously had the chance.

The point is Kara’s friendship with Lena “it’s just math” Luthor is her priority. She can live with never speaking to Andrea again after graduation. The thought of anything changing between her and Lena after graduation has been making her nauseous for weeks.

“So… Kara?”

Kara doesn’t mean to eavesdrop, she swears. Honestly, she’d kind of expected them to pick up on her presence whether she dropped the cups or not. But it seems the pair is still in their own little bubble, Andrea demurely wiping her face while pulling back from the embrace. Lena keeps her close, though, loosely holding her elbows.

“Kara?”

“I know, Lena.”

“Know what?”

Kara definitely should’ve turned around by now. She’s hardly in a position to get self-righteous about secrets when she has yet to tell her best friend that she won’t be leaving campus, after all.

Staying on for a Master’s in Journalism hadn’t been her plan even back in the fall. But a lot has happened between now and then, so.

Andrea sighs with none of her characteristic exasperation.

“I knew you had feelings for me before you kissed me.”

Kara is positive the only reason she doesn’t audibly gasp is because she’s too shocked. Well, that and Lena scoffs loudly as she takes a step back.

She’d figured that Lena and Andrea had a history, per se. But her mind had never gone… there.

“No, you didn’t.”

“I did.”

“You didn’t act like it.”

“How was I supposed to act?”

In four years, Kara has never heard Andrea speak so gently, without even a hint of condescension to boot.

Lena’s more choked scoff seems to suggest she’s not used to it either… and that Kara is probably missing something.

“You don’t have to believe me. And if you want to tell me I’m wrong about Kara, go ahead.”

Yeah, she’s definitely missing something.

“But… if you want to tell me I’m right, I certainly wouldn’t discourage that either.”

Lena’s chuckles in that beautifully thick way she does when Kara gushes over one of her mash-ups profusely enough.

“Fuck you.”

“Still too young for this ride, sweetie. Sorry.”

Kara can’t help her eye roll at Andrea gesturing at her own body like it’s a letter on Wheel of Fortune. But then Andrea frowns, which makes slightly more sense when Kara hears Lena’s abruptly dejected tone.

“It’s the same.”

“What is?”

“You - you and me. Me and Kara. It’s the same age gap.”

“Yes, but I’ve known you since you were a baby.”

“Seven.”

Even as her mind races — scrambling for the missing context — Kara can still hear Lena’s scowl clear as day. Andrea waves dismissively.

“Same difference.”

But then she takes a step forward, her arms hovering pretty awkwardly for someone who was just clinging to Lena a minute ago before she settles them on Lena’s shoulders.

“You jump. I jump. Okay?”

Kara recognizes the quote instantly, but it doesn’t clear anything up for her. Other than it means something to Lena, judging by the way she loops her arm through Andrea’s and leisurely leads them further out into the parking lot.

So they’re thankfully well out of earshot by the time Kara accidentally kicks over all the cups.

[absgay]

"There’s so many lines I’ve crossed unforgiven. I’ll tell you the truth, but never goodbye. (part 3)

words count: 3,9K.

warnings: 18+, violence, angst, bloody mess, smut, fluff, mentions of death, grammar, owen, idk tbh. (she/her pronouns)

summary: friends don’t look at each other this way, do they? You couldn’t stop thinking about her, things will never be the same.

part one, part two.

• You guys were supposed to watch a movie together. But it didn’t take much time for Abby to turn this innocent and friendly activity into something way more fun. “Shit, shit…” you moaned softly, your head falling against the wall. Abby’s hands pulled you closer to the edge of the desk as she buried her face between your thighs, groaning against your cunt. “God— Where did you learn how to— When did you become so good at this, Abby?” you mumbled between short breaths. “I’ve been training,” she kissed your inner thigh. “There’s a lot of women who want to end up on my desk.” you looked down, moving. “Asshole.” Abby smirked, hands holding you back. “I’m not done.” she explained, nose teasing your clit as she stared at you. “I don’t care— Fuck.” you murmured and looked away, blushing as the blond smiled proudly. “Wait, I’m supposed to meet Owen at five.” As soon as the blond heard the man’s name, she frowned, holding your thighs tight, fingers buried deep into your flesh, almost bruising it. “It’s not what you think it is.” you said, sensing the jealous aspect of this sudden move. “We’re having a meeting with Isaac as well. We’re planning our next mission.” Abby pulled back. “Wait— Don’t stop.” you whined, breathless. “But I thought you weren’t on the list anymore.” you sighed and watched the blond getting up, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand as she waited for an explanation. “I talked with Isaac yesterday and we both agreed that it’s important for me to find—” Abby huffed. “Bullshit. It’s dangerous out there, you’ve been stabbed three weeks ago, it's too soon.” Abby moved to the side as you walked by and put your panties back on. “I feel claustrophobic here, I need it.” you explained, arms crossed. “I won’t be alone.” Abby hummed, unconvinced. “What’s bothering you the most, Abby? The fact that I’m gonna start patrolling again or the person who’s gonna come with me?” she rolled her eyes. “We’re just friends.” Abby chuckled, a little mean. “Like that stopped you before.” you frowned, laughing nervously. “Jesus Christ— What’s wrong with you? What’s that supposed to mean?” Abby remained silent as she stared at you. “Get out of my room, Abby.”

• “Hey, I’ve been looking for you.” Owen said walking in the infirmary. “What’s up? What are you even doing here?” you turned around. “Well— Mel needed help down here and I had nothing else to do…” he smirked. “Look at you, you’re such a nice and reliable friend.” you both chuckled. “That’s me.” Owen looked at you as you started to rearrange the medical equipment, saying nothing. “I talked with Abby.” Your heart tightened in your chest. You hummed and looked away, acting unbothered. “Actually— She came to me this morning and threatened to murder me if anything happened to you tomorrow.” you smirked. “Sounds like something she’d say.” Owen nodded, approaching you. “She’s very protective, this one.” he said. “I told her not to worry about it. I’d never let anything bad happen to you.” The blood rushed to your cheeks as the man stared at you deeply, an idiotic smile on the face. You chuckled nervously, stepping back. “Am I interrupting something?” You turned around in a hurry, relieved as you recognized Abby’s voice. “What the fuck— What happened to your face?” you asked, running towards the injured woman. “Scars are getting closer to the stadium.” Owen frowned as you gently held the blond’s face, examining it. “Isaac wants to see you, Owen.” Abby said. The blond’s ex-boyfriend walked out, a bit confused. “Sit on the bed, I’m gonna take care of it.” Abby nodded and waited, watching you running around the room as you collected the right supplies. “You’re really good at this…” you hummed, treating the cut on her cheek. “I used to be the group’s medic, in the past.” Abby nodded. “Do you still think about it?” you glanced at her. “About them, what happened to you?” you sighed. “Not as much as I used to.” you admitted. “Does that make me a mad person? I feel guilty sometimes.” Abby frowned. “Of course not.” she paused. “My father— He got killed when I was seventeen years old. It took me years to move on.” You stared at the blond, a little shocked as she dropped the bomb. Obviously, you knew that Abby’s father had died, but she had never felt comfortable enough to tell you anything about it, until now. “I’m really sorry about our fight…” she added. “Which one?” Abby laughed. “You’re not the best at communicating, Abs.” The blond’s eyes widened. “That’s unfair.” you frowned. “I used to think that you were mad at me because you secretly still had feelings for Owen, it tortured me for days.” she rolled her eyes, smirking. “Come on, this one is all your fault.” you gasped, then chuckled. “You’re the one who put that idea in your little head. How could you even consider it after what had happened at the aquarium?” you shrugged. “We were drunk, Abby. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions. It was very confusing for me and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship or make it even more complicated than it already was.” Abby smirked. “Friends, is that all we are?” you sighed peacefully, staring at her with eyes filled with love. “Best friends…” You both laughed, Abby’s nose bumping into yours as she kissed you.

• Abby read while you napped in her arms. She couldn’t stop looking down at you, smiling to herself as an intense happiness rushed to her, the usual whenever you were around. “Hey— Shit. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” you murmured, sitting down against the headboard. “I’m used to it at this point…” Abby chuckled. “Right— Fuck you.” you sighed, touching your forehead. “Is everything alright?” she asked, closing the book as she looked at you. “I don’t feel so good. I have nightmares, again.” She hummed, an arm wrapped around you. “Do you wanna talk about it? Maybe— I don’t know, it could help.” she said. “I’ve never really talked to you about what happened to me. I didn’t know how to—” you sighed. “I don’t want you to be disappointed or—” Abby shook her head. “Wait, what are you talking about? Why would I ever be disappointed?” you started to cry, the blond holding you tight against her chest as your head fell against it. “It’s okay— We don’t have to talk about it, it’s fine.” she said. “I watched them die, Abby.” you cried. “I— One of my friends told me to hide and I did, I watched them die and didn’t do anything, they’re all dead because of me.” Abby sighed. “Don’t say that— You’d be dead too, it wouldn’t have changed anything, you couldn’t save them.” you huffed. “I wouldn’t have to deal with the guilt.” Abby’s arms pulled you away from her chest, her thumbs wiping your tears as she held your face. “Hey, look at me—” you nodded. “It wouldn’t have changed anything, it wasn’t your fault. There’s one thing you can do to honour them, which is moving on, they’d want you to keep going. Whoever told you to hide, saved your life.” You didn’t say anything, because you didn’t have to. Abby kissed your forehead and whispered: “It’s okay, I’m right here baby.”

• “Do you really have to leave? It’s late.” you asked, obscene ideas running around your head as you moaned quietly, the blond kissing your neck. “We could’ve actually watched a movie tonight.” Abby chuckled. “We both know how it would've ended.” she said. “Trust me, I’d rather stay here with you but this mission is important.” you frowned. “Wait, where are you going? What’s happening?” you pulled away as Abby remained silent. “What’s going on, Abby?” She sighed, then looked at the window. “There’s something wrong, we’ve seen too many Scars in our area lately, it’s uncommon. Isaac thinks they’re planning something, something bad.” you sighed. “Fuck this— I’m coming with you.” you walked to the desk, grabbing your backpack. “Absolutely not.” Abby said as you started to pack your things. “For once, I’m gonna need you to listen to me. You’re gonna stay here at the stadium, I need you safe.” you scoffed. “Right— You really thought I was gonna stay here?” Abby sighed. “Of course not, I knew you’d be hard to convince but—” she huffed. “I won’t be able to protect you out there.” you frowned and turned around, approaching the blond. “You still haven’t told me. Where are you going?” she looked down. “The island…” your mouth dropped. “I know, I know— It sounds really bad. But we’re gonna spy on them, that’s all.” you frowned. “What if something goes wrong, huh? What if you guys get caught? Nobody comes back from this fuckin’ island, Abby!” you stepped closer. “So what— I’m supposed to sit here and wait? Wondering if you’re dead or not?” you asked. “I don’t plan on dying.” you rolled your eyes. “Please— Don’t do this to me right now.” Abby begged, eyes watering. “If things are really that bad, we could leave together, leave this shit, leave it all behind.” Abby frowned. “Come on— I can’t do that. Isaac counts me, they all do.” you sighed. “Is this really how you wanna spend the rest of your life? I don’t wanna live between these walls forever.” Abby didn’t want to have this conversation right now, she had too much on her mind already. She looked away, heading to the door. “Owen and Manny are waiting for me.” you walked with her, grabbing the blond’s hand as she touched the handle. “Wait— Abby.” you both stared at each other, trying not to cry as this felt like an actual goodbye. “Be careful.” Abby nodded, her hand reaching for your cheek as she leaned in to kiss you one last time. It was warm and gentle, it always felt so right to be this close to her. It pained Abby to pull away, forehead pressed against yours as she sighed deeply. “I love you.” you murmured, tears rolling down your cheeks as she closed the door behind her without looking back.

• “It’s been twenty four hours.” Of anxiety, paranoia and distress. “I know but— You need to calm down.” Nora said as you walked down the hallway, feeling sick and disoriented. “Stop— Don’t touch me!” you snapped at the brunette, stepping in Abby’s apartment. “You’re not going anywhere, Y/N.” Nora said. “I’m supposed to keep an eye on you while she’s gone. She knew you’d try something.” you frowned. “Does anyone even care about— It’s driving me insane, we need to start looking for them, Nora!” You both turned around, hearing screams from the outside. “What’s going on?” she asked. “Holy shit— It might be them.” you glanced at Nora. “Come on.” you walked out, and ran through the crowd as you tried to approach the garage area. “Abby!” you yelled out, searching for her. She turned around as soon as she recognized your voice, ignoring everyone’s questions and remarks. “Abby!” you screamed relieved, running straight into the blond’s arms. “I thought you were—” she held your face, kissing you passionately as the crowd watched. “What happened?” you breathed, pulling away. “Where are Owen and Manny?” Abby glanced at the others, then back at you. “We need to talk, in private.”

• “We’re leaving tomorrow.” Abby said as she walked into your bedroom. “You should start packing your things right now, the bare minimum, we might have to walk.” She talked fast. “It’s not gonna be easy, we’ll have to—” you frowned. “Wait, wait— I thought you didn’t want to leave.” Abby turned to look at you, pointing at the window. “Yesterday, I— I almost got killed, I thought I was not gonna make it and the only thing I could think about out there was you.” she said. “The Scars are gonna attack the Stadium, they wanna take back Seattle, which means… Isaac wants us to attack first. It’s gonna end in a blood bath, people are gonna die. I don’t wanna participate in this, I don’t wanna die here.” you sighed. “But, there’s children here…” Abby’s hand reached for yours, the blond noticing the distress in your voice. “Isaac asked me to lead the first team, you’ll have to be on the third one, the one who’s going to the Hospital. He’s gonna send many different groups to different locations to cover more surfaces, they’ll do the same. This way, it might be more complicated for them to approach the Stadium. I’ll be at the marina in the morning, I’ll find a way to sneak out right before they leave for the island and I’ll come get you throughout the day.” you looked at her attentively as she explained the plan, a bit nervous. “We’ll walk to the aquarium, take Owen’s boat and leave.” you nodded. “What happened to them?” Abby’s eyes filled with sadness as she looked away, jaw clenched. “I won’t let it happen to us….” she said. “Okay— We should steal some supplies, food and ammo. Hopefully, we’ll find some things on the road too.” she said. “I’m gonna head back to my apartment and pack my things, do you mind if— I don’t wanna sleep in my own bed tonight.” She sounded different, distant and cold. You knew it had nothing to do with you though, she was traumatised by the events of last night, she needed some rest. “Not at all.” you reassured her. “I could do it for you, I mean— I understand it might be hard to— There’s manny’s belongings everywhere.” The blond kissed your cheek. “Don’t worry about me, I got it. Go talk to Isaac about the Hospital, I’ll meet you for dinner.”

• “Hey… It’s time for me to leave.” Abby murmured. “I’ll meet you at the Hospital.” you turned around in bed, facing her. “Be careful…” you murmured back in the dark. “You’re gonna have to stay focused on yourself today, don’t think about me, don’t let it distract you, think about your own life.” you hummed. “I’ll come get you as soon as I can.” In the morning, you looked at your bedroom one last time, feeling nostalgic as you stepped out and closed the door behind you.

• “No, no, no— Shit!” Abby shouted. She ran through the woods, listening to the gunshots and explosions coming from the Hospital. She approached the area in worry, looking around her as the Scars and Soldiers we’re fighting outside the building. “Fuck me.” she mumbled, running low on ammo. She sighed and walked discreetly near the closest entry, trying not to stare at the ridiculous amount of dead bodies laying on the ground. “Kill them!” A man shouted, a soldier’s body flying through the window and falling right at Abby’s feet as she covered her face. She used the broken window as an opportunity to step in, and killed the two Scars standing by. She didn’t want anyone to see her, she couldn’t risk getting caught by another Soldier, it was not gonna be easy to find you. A door slammed open as she walked by a hallway. “Get off you fuckin’—” you yelled and groaned, slamming the woman against the wall and shooting her in the head. “Shit.” you murmured, breathless and exhausted. Abby glanced at the enormous blood stain on the wall as the woman’s body fell at your feet, then looked back at you. “Dammit.” Abby said. “Look at me— Are you hurt?” she asked, genuinely worried as some dirt and blood covered your face. “I’m fine, it isn’t mine— I’m okay.” you breathed in and out, the blond holding you tight against her chest. “I came as soon as I heard it on the radio. I didn’t expect them to attack first, especially here, it took me by surprise.” she said. “Me too…” Abby chuckled. She had never felt more grateful in her entire life. “It’s a fuckin’ mess outside. We’re gonna have to run, do you have any ammo left?” you nodded. “Great. Whatever happens out there, you’ll keep running no matter what.”

• “Nora’s dead…” you said. “I figured.” Abby responded, emotionless. Her reaction surprised you, your muscles hurting as Abby walked faster, leaving you behind. She stared at the road, avoiding anything that could potentially lead to a breaking point. “It’s getting dark, we’re gonna have to find somewhere to stay for the night.” You ended up in an abandoned apartment complex. The area seemed calm, for now at least. You waited outside as Abby checked one to make sure they weren’t any infected in it, then she invited you in. “Did you abandon your team at the marina? How many people are gonna die until—” Abby huffed. “Come on— Isn’t it what you wanted? To leave it all behind. What was I supposed to do, Y/N?” She was losing it, in the worst way possible. Abby’s mouth dropped as you looked down and walked away. “I never wanted anyone to die, I didn’t even think about it. I never expected anything like this to happen.” you said, sitting on the couch. “I know, I know— I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, I’m just tired.” Abby said. “Do you think they’re gonna come after us?” you asked. “I disappeared as soon as I heard about the attack on the radio. But, they’re attacking the island tonight, they’ll be busy, they won’t bother.” she explained. “We should eat something.” You hummed in disagreement and shook your head as the blond sat down next to you. “Come on, baby. It's been a long day and tomorrow won’t be any different, you’re gonna need it.” you smirked. “You’ve been using nicknames and pet names lately, it’s new, it’s pretty uncommon coming from you.” You both smiled, Abby’s hand resting on your thigh as she stared at you lovingly. “I know things aren’t great at the moment, it’s actually really bad…” she chuckled. “But, one day we’ll have the life we deserve.” you leaned forward and kissed her. “In the meantime, there’s something really fun we can do.” you whispered, the blond smirking as you pulled away and opened your backpack. “Okay, that’s absolutely not what I had in mind.” Abby said, glancing at the book in your hands. “It’s the last book of the series!” you said happily, which made her laugh. “But don’t worry, we’ll have sex too, eventually…” you chuckled. “Eventually…” Abby repeated, amused. “How I could I ever resist them?” you looked at the blond’s arm. “You like them, huh?” You hummed and felt the blood rushing to your cheeks as Abby leaned forward. “What about my hands?” she asked, her hand moving to your inner thigh. “I’ve got some good ideas, I could use them on you in so many different ways.” she said, staring at your mouth through the darkness, the moonlight barely illuminating the room through the curtains. “Come here…” you murmured desperately. You couldn’t hold it anymore, grabbing the blond’s collar and pulling her lips to yours.

• Abby sighed as she watched you sleep peacefully. She wondered what you were dreaming about, caressed your cheek gently and left the bedroom. She was overthinking when she sat down on the couch and looked at her hands, looked at Owen’s keys and at the blood stains on it. “You shouldn’t be here.” Owen had told the woman as they walked behind Manny. “You should've stayed with her at the Stadium… I know you’re thinking about it right now, you’re anywhere but here.” She eyed him suspiciously. “Come on— I’m not an idiot, I’ve seen the way you two looked at each other the other day at the infirmary.” Owen said. “It’s none of your business—” Owen’s hand caught the blond’s wrist. “I know things have been complicated between us, Abby. But seriously— It’s time for you to start focusing on yourself. You’re allowed to be happy.” Abby sobbed on the couch and covered her mouth, repeating the last sentence in her mind again, again and again until it broke her heart in thousands of pieces.

[ae-cow]

Ms Yu, Miss You

Warning: Some of you will hate this but SHIP, Angst, fluff, suggestive, OCs as exes, accidents which cause major/minor injuries, Possible spelling errors and I think that’s all, do tell. This is a work of fiction with nothing to do with the idol's actual life. I do like some feedback. If you ever feel like "Hey this is very offensive." do tell me.

Pairing: Jeno of NCT, NCT Dream x Karina of aespa

Summary: Jimin interrupts Jeno’s wedding to Soojin after discovering that Soojin had been cheating on Jeno with Jimin's cheating ex, Minki. Jeno and Jimin’s lives become intertwined. As fate somehow always brings them together

Word Count: 12k

A/N: @/hi_imtyyy, this pic is amazing, found it on TikTok. The fact that Karina wanted to be an air stewardess! I’ll be using Karina’s real name Jimin. Like damn, I love this shit just saying probably one of my best-written ones but not sure if it will gain the attraction and yes I did study. Exams tmr!!

Written: 25 August 2024

Masterlist © ae-cow. Do not claim, steal or repost. All rights reserved

“YOU DARE GET MARRIED WHILE CHEATING?!” Jimin burst through the wedding doors, her voice echoing through the hall.

Jeno’s eyes widened in shock as he turned to Soojin. “Soojin, do you know her?”

Soojin’s face paled, but she shook her head, trying to maintain her composure.

“YAH, Soojin! Your soon-to-be wife is a cheater!” Jimin shouted, her voice trembling with anger. “She’s been cheating on you with MY FIANCÉ!” She tells the husband and everyone who attended the wedding

The doors swung open again, and Minki stepped into the room, his face a mixture of guilt and desperation. “Jimin-ah, let me explain—”

Jimin cut him off, her voice cold and relentless. “Oh, hell no. I’ve already gotten all the wedding money back.”

“Don’t you dare come back,” Jimin said, glaring at Minki.

She turned to Soojin, her voice cold and accusatory. “And how could you sleep in the same bed as your fiance while you have been with someone else?”

Jimin’s gaze softened slightly as she looked at Jeno. “And you, you should leave this place and never look back. You deserve someone who truly loves you, not someone who’s been cheating,” She told him before walking away

Jeno looked at Soojin, then turned to his family seated in the front row by the altar. Their faces were streaked with tears, and his heart ached as he saw the sorrow in their eyes. Beside them, Soojin’s family was also in tears, watching helplessly as their daughter’s betrayal was laid bare.

Jeno, silent and conflicted, walked out of the hall. He found Jimin sitting alone on the floor, wiping her tears with a trembling hand.

“Hey,” he said softly, his voice carrying a note of regret.

“Thanks… for telling me,” Jeno said, his voice heavy with emotion. “If you hadn’t, we would have gone through with the vows, and who knows when I’d have found out.”

He paused, sitting down next to her. “We had plans—kids, a house, this whole wedding and now, it all comes crashing down.”

“How could I have been so stupid?” Jeno said, his voice cracking with despair. “All those nights she claimed she had to work overtime because of a sick patient or a lack of staff…”

Jimin looked at him, her expression sympathetic. “I get it. She’s a nurse, and those excuses would be easy to believe. I’m a victim of being cheated on myself.”

“…How did you find out?” Jeno asked quietly.

Jimin sighed, her gaze distant. “My friends saw him with Soojin at an exclusive restaurant I’d wanted to go to for ages. He always said he had a friend who could get a reservation, but he never managed to get one for me. Seeing him with her there was the first clue.”

She paused, her voice heavy with pain. “After that, I dug deeper. I noticed he’d be awake at 2 AM, phone in hand, smiling. He’d use his favourite perfume and come home late. It hurts, but he’s no longer in my life.”

“And I’m happy to be out of it,” Jimin said, her voice firm.

“You’re better than me though,” She said

“Why?” he asked, tilting his head.

Jimin shrugged, a wry smile on her lips. “You’ve spent so much money, and you don’t seem as affected by it.”

She continued, “Once I found out, I started reclaiming what I could. Some money couldn’t be retrieved because it was too close to the wedding date, but I managed to get some back. I bought this dress—like Princess Diana’s revenge dress.”

Jimin laughed, a genuine sound of relief. “We should hang out from time to time—vent about our exes, complain about their smelly breath, and just get some of this trauma out.”

“Yeah, we definitely should,” Jeno agreed with a smile. “Well, I should get going, time to my money back,” Said as he stood up

Jimin chuckled. “Sounds good.”

Jeno extended a hand, lending her help and Jimin took it with a grateful smile.

They shared a brief, understanding glance before parting ways, each feeling a little lighter.

-

Jimin spotted Jeno walking out of a real estate agency, his frustration evident. “Hey, Jeno!” she called out.

He looked up and made his way toward her. “Hey there.”

Jimin glanced at the agency behind him. “Real estate, huh? Must be the place you and Soojin were planning to buy.”

“Yeah,” Jeno said with a sigh. “You want it?”

Jimin raised an eyebrow. “What? No, I don’t.”

“The payment’s done and I can’t get it back,” Jeno explained. “I paid for most of it so I told Soojin to leave.”

Jimin nodded sympathetically. “What about you? Where are you staying?”

“I used to live with Minki, but I moved out. I’m staying at a friend’s place for now.”

Jeno hesitated for a moment, then offered, “Well, if you’re looking for a place, you could stay with me.”

Jimin’s eyes widened in surprise. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Jeno confirmed with a nod. “It might be nice to have some company and pay rent.”

Jeno chuckled, a wry smile on his face. “Since I paid for most of it, I’m all set to move in. But now that I’m single, I need a roommate. And wow, look at that—my ex-fiancé’s boyfriend’s ex is currently staying at her friend’s place.”

She laughs “Uh hmm would I stay with my best friend or a man I met at a wedding I crashed? Hard to choose huh?”

Jeno smiles “Here take your time,” He passes her his business card

“A pilot huh?”

-

Ms. Yu, your video of the wedding crash is going viral,” the principal said. “No offence, but only students who graduate may glimpse your private life, but current students should be primarily focused on studying. It’s your role as a teacher to maintain a professional boundary.”

“I know… it’s just—”

“Yes, what he did was horrible, but couldn’t you have kept it private?”

Jimin scoffed. “It was a private wedding. Someone filmed it, and the ex-fiance and his family needed to know the truth.”

“Jimin, I’m sorry, but I’ll have to suspend you for a week,” The principal said

“A week? Won’t the students start speculating?”

“Think of it as a vacation, if that helps, I don’t know what else to suggest.

-

“Should I be happy that I have a vacation?” Jimin said as she looks at her plane ticket to France

Walking down the aisle, checking her seat number “Let’s see… 23B.”

Jeno notices her as he makes his way to the cockpit “Jimin? What a coincidence!”

She looked up, surprised “Jeno! You’re the Captain?”

“Yep, that’s me. I didn’t expect to see you here. Going to France huh?” His brows furrow

“Well crashing the wedding caused me a week of vacation, my boss thinks I go for a week so that the students in my school would stop the rumours and I’m trying to clear my head. What about you?”

“Flying this plane and if you don’t mind, I’d like to make your flight a bit more special. How about a seat upgrade to First Class?” Jeno offers

Her mouth falls agape “Seriously? That’s so kind of you!”

“It’s the least I can do, Let me take care of it. Follow me.”

-

Jimin is now settled comfortably in the First Class cabin, enjoying the extra amenities.

Jimin is relaxing in her upgraded seat “Wow, this is amazing, I didn’t expect this kind of luxury.”

Jeno pops into First Class briefly “I’m glad you’re enjoying it, If you need anything, just let the crew know, It’s a pleasure to have you on board.”

Jimin smiles “Thank you, Jeno. It’s a nice surprise and a great start to my vacation.”

“I hope the rest of your trip is just as enjoyable. If you ever want a tour of the cockpit, just let me know,” He said

“I’d love that. I’m excited about this trip now,” She said

Jimin visits the cockpit during a brief break. Jeno shows her the controls and talks about the flight experience.

“Welcome to the cockpit, Jimin. Ready for a quick tour?”

Her eyes are wide with excitement “Absolutely! I’ve never been in one before.”

He gestured to the control panel “Alright, so this is where all the magic happens. Here’s the autopilot control. We use it to maintain the plane’s course and altitude.”

She leans in, fascinated “That’s incredible. I didn’t realise how much technology is involved.”

He points to a display “This screen shows our current flight path and weather conditions. It helps us navigate and make adjustments if needed.”

“It’s like you’re in control of a whole world up here.”

He chuckles “In a way, yes. Every decision affects the flight, from altitude changes to route adjustments.”

Her hand brushes against Jeno’s as she reaches for a control “So, what’s this button do?”

He gently guides her hand “That’s for adjusting the cabin pressure, It’s important for passenger comfort.”

He notes Jimin’s curiosity “Would you like to try it yourself?”

Nodding eagerly “Can I? They're passengers here,” She asked

“It's on autopilot right now, so it's fine.”

Jeno steps back slightly, allowing Jimin to take control. He watches her with a mix of admiration and affection as she carefully adjusts the settings.

“You’re a natural at this.”

She blushes slightly “Thanks. I’m just fascinated by how it all works.”

“It’s all about practice and attention to detail. You seem to have a good eye for it.”

“When did you decide to be captain?” She asked

“I always had a fascination about planes and it just follows me until now, I had to learn a lot of stuff though, and do Lasik.”

“Woah Lasik?”

“Yup” He laughs

Jimin’s gaze lingers on Jeno, and their eyes meet. Jeno shows her how to read the navigation charts.

“I didn’t expect to learn so much on this flight. It’s been eye-opening,” Jimin says

“I’m glad you think so. Flying is a passion of mine, and it’s nice to share it with someone who appreciates it.”

She smiles back “I appreciate it more than you know.”

They share a moment of silence, their proximity a little too close for someone whose wedding you crash. Jeno’s hand brushes against Jimin’s as he reaches to adjust a dial, causing a spark of electricity between them.

Jeno clears his throat “Well, I should get back to the controls. But feel free to come back here anytime during the flight.”

“I might just take you up on that offer. It’s been nice spending this time with you.”

“I’m glad. It’s been great having you here.”

“Thank you for everything, Jeno.”

“Anytime, Jimin.”

As Jimin exits the cockpit, she glances back at Jeno, who watches her with a soft smile. There’s an unspoken promise in the air as she returns to her seat, both of them feeling the beginnings of a deeper connection.

“So, you and that girl huh?” His co-captain Jaemin asked

“I came in and so all that happened,” Jaemin said

“Jimin? I'm just doing her a favour, she's the reason why I found out my ex-fiance was cheating, without her I would be in an unfaithful marriage.”

“How are you holding up?” Jaemin asked

“Oh, is it bad I don't feel- feel sad?”

“Different people, different outlooks on life and who knows maybe destiny decided to bring fate on your wedding day?” Jeno turns to look at Jaemin

Jaemin shrugs

-

They had landed in Paris, France

“How was the flight? I hope the upgrade made a difference,” Jeno asked

“It was fantastic. I appreciate it, Jeno. It made the journey much more enjoyable.”

“I’m glad to hear that. Safe travels for the rest of your vacation. If you need any recommendations for your destination, just give me a text.”

“I will. Thanks again for everything. See you around?” She said

“Definitely, Take care, Jimin.”

-

A beautiful evening on the Seine River. The city lights of Paris reflect on the water, and couples and tourists are enjoying the scenic views.

After settling into her hotel, Jimin decides to take a Seine River cruise to see the city’s famous landmarks. It’s a chance for her to clear her head and enjoy the city’s romance.

Jeno has some time off from flying and decides to explore Paris himself. He books a spot on the same Seine River cruise that Jimin is on, wanting to enjoy the city’s sights before heading back to work.

Jimin arrives at the dock, looking at the city lights she is in awe.

“Jimin? What a coincidence!” Jimin turns around, surprised “Jeno! What are you doing here?”

“I had some free time and thought I’d check out the city, it looks like we’re on the same cruise.”

“It seems so. It’s a nice surprise,” She said

They board the boat and find themselves seated near each other. “So, why Paris?”

“Might’ve been the hundredth time you heard this from me but the feeling of loneliness was hard,” Jimin explains

Jeno chuckled “So going to the city of Love is where you got to??”

“Everywhere is the city of love, it's even more romantic if you know the language of love,”

Jeno’s eyes furrowed “and what might that be.”

“Music,” She starts

“No matter the language, music brings a lot of people together, Fur Elise was written despite Beethoven being deaf, it was because he could read the musical notes.”

“We’ll be stopping here for a few minutes to allow everyone to take pictures.”

As the boat suddenly slows and shifts position, Jimin loses her balance, stumbling slightly. Jeno, quick to react, reaches out and wraps his arm around her waist to steady her.

Jimin startled, her hand instinctively on his chest “Oh!”

He held her securely, his face close to hers “Whoa.”

Jimin looks at him, her heart racing “Thank you. That was unexpected.”

He gazes into her eyes, his arm still around her “Are you alright?”

Jimin nodded, her cheeks flushed “Yes, I’m fine. I didn’t expect that thanks again.”

His hand was resting gently on her back “Yeah, no problem.”

They both pause, their eyes locking as they stand close together. The boat’s motion and the Parisian skyline add a magical backdrop.

Suddenly the sound of a camera makes the two turn in the direction of the person who took the pic.

“That would be 2 dollars,” He said, Jimin quickly stood up properly

“Oh uh, here?” Flustered she passes him the note

“Thank you!” Jimin laughs “He just took a picture of us,” She turns to look at Jeno was looking away, ears pinkish

“Would you… like to keep this picture?” She slowly asked

“Um no you keep it,” He takes it and takes a picture of it

He cleared his throat “Ehrm see you around?” he said

“Yeah.”

-

In his hotel room, Jeno sat on the edge of the bed, the soft glow of the evening city lights filtering through the curtains. He took out his phone and carefully looked at the picture the stranger had taken of him and Jimin on the Seine River cruise.

The photo captured a moment of unexpected intimacy—Jeno with his arm around Jimin, her hand resting on his chest, both of them caught in a genuine, candid moment. The backdrop of the Parisian skyline and the soft, blurred lights added to the photograph’s charm. Jeno's gaze lingered on the image, a small smile playing on his lips.

“Hey Jaemin,” He called his fellow hotel mate and co-pilot

“Yeah?”

“I think you're right about the fate bringing me on my wedding day.”

“Oh yeah? What make you think of that,” Curious

“If it weren't for the wedding, I wouldn't have met Jimin and our whole encounter till now feels like it was meant to happen,” He said, still looking at the photo

“You sound smitten, cap”

Jeno chuckled at Jaemin's comment. “Maybe a little,” he admitted, his smile widening. “It’s surprising how quickly things can change. I didn’t expect to feel this way, especially after everything that happened.”

-

They both had flown back to Korea, on different flights, unfortunately.

Jimin returned to teaching with renewed energy, her week off having provided much-needed clarity and peace. The viral incident had quieted down, and she had managed to focus on her students again.

Jimin and Giselle were sitting together in the living room, Jimin told her plans on what she’d eat in school. Giselle had been visibly stressed, and Jimin sensed that something was weighing on her friend.

“Jimin, I need to talk to you about something,” Giselle began, looking concerned.

“Sure, what’s up?” Jimin replied.

Giselle took a deep breath. “My parents are planning to move in with me. They’re having some issues with their current place, and they need to stay here for a while. I know it’s short notice, but I wanted to let you know.”

Jimin’s expression shifted to one of concern. “Oh, I see. That must be a lot for you to handle.”

“Yeah, it is,” Giselle said, nodding. “But since my flat has three rooms, there’s space for you to stay. I don’t want you to have to move out just because of this, I'm just letting you know.”

Jimin hesitated for a moment before responding. “I appreciate the offer, Giselle. But I think it might be uncomfortable for your parents if I stay. It’s a big adjustment for them, and I wouldn’t want to add to their stress.”

Giselle looked understanding but disappointed. “I see what you mean but I've talked about you and they seem to like you, if you’re sure…”

Jimin nodded. “Yeah, I think it’s best if I start looking for a new place and you've done more than enough for me.”

Giselle gave her a supportive smile. “Okay, if you need any help with the search or anything else, just let me know.”

Jimin was making a cup of coffee in her office pantry.

Jimin was conflicted, Giselle had offered to help her find a place but she has helped enough and doesn't want to bother the girl.

Suddenly the loud sound of an aeroplane flew by “Ah!” 💡

“What's wrong?” a fellow teacher asked

“Oh no no I just thought of something.”

Jimin quickly sat down with her cup of coffee and texted Jeno.

Jimin: Hey Jeno

It's been a few days since we last spoke

I think I should take that offer up

Jeno: What offer?

She did not expect such a fast reply

Jimin: Oh um being roommates? You still don't anyone right?

Jeno: Oh yeah still looking

Wanna be roommates?

-

“So uh I left him on read…” She told Minjeong, a friend/co-worker

“Why? You texted him.”

“I would love to be roommates but the thing is he's a guy, a really attractive guy I might add and we both got out of a relationship, he was at the altar when I met him.”

“Do you feel bad knowing it's been a week since that happened?” Minjeong asked

“I was but now I'm not…”

“That guy cheated on you, you shouldn't feel guilty at all, who knows? Maybe that guy could be your new lover?”

“How can it be leaving with a guy,” Minjeong said

Well Jimin used to live with Minki and one of the many things she hated about him was how he does not put back the iron when he's done. Or how sometimes he would leave the toilet unflushed.

Based on how Jeno acts in front of her, she truly hopes he does not turn 180 on her.

Jimin: Yes I would love to

When Jeno received Jimin’s text, he was at home packing for his next flight.

Jeno: Great! I’m looking forward to it. It’ll be nice to have a friendly face around. Let’s chat more about the details when we meet on Wednesday.

Jimin considered that Jeno’s job as a pilot meant she’d be at home most of the time.

Jimin: I’ll help pay rent, don’t worry. Maybe even more since you’ll be out more than me 🧐

Jeno: That’s fine. I needed a roommate to share half the rent, so please don’t feel the need to do more.

-

“So… this is my home,” Jeno said

“I bought some furniture and necessities like plates and, a washing machine but as for the bedroom I did nothing, I wanted whoever to room with me to have their creativity,” Jimin nodded

“This is my bedroom,” It was probably the biggest room, it had a king-size bed, a bed fit for a bride and groom

The bed had a picture of Him and Soojin up, a big one at that. “Oh uh sorry Soojin and I had decorated this house if it makes you uncomfortable-”

“No it's fine, it's your house anyway and you don't have to remove the photos, I get it, is a hard process.”

This thing is Jeno had been wanting the remove the photos, he just had no time. By the time he comes home, he's burned out. On his offs he would be at home packing and doing nothing as he dwells on the fact that he has a flight.

“So do you like it?”

“This place is huge, will you need more roommates?”

“Considering it, I have 2 guest rooms and now I have at least 1 out of the 3 rooms occupied.”

-

It was Saturday and Jimin had loaned a car to move her things from Giselle’s to Jeno’s.

“I’m so glad you found a home, so quickly at that, is the guy trustworthy?”

“With everything that has happened, I'd say yes,”

“Whatever it is you can always come back, my parents wouldn't mind.”

“You sure you don't need help?”

“I can manage besides Jeno won't be there, he's overseas so I can lay down on the floor for all I care.

“Hmm alright then text me.”

“Will do.”

-

The door unlocked, and Jeno had given her the passcode.

The house had a pretty ambience, Soft natural light streamed through large windows, flowing the space in a warm, golden glow. The walls were painted in neutral tones, and the minimalistic decor added a touch of modern elegance.

“This place is so Jeno,” Jimin said but remembered that Soojin and he had decorated the place.

She feels out of place, imagining the happy moments he had with her. Probably laughing at how he was trying to piece together that chair by the window or how the smell of fresh paint was them painting together.

“What am I doing?! Snap out of it!” Jimin tells herself

Suddenly the sound of the keypad was heard.

She opens the door for him. “Hey J- Soojin?”

“You!?” Soojin said, angered

“What are you doing here?!”

“What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be out with Minki?” Jimin fakes a cute voice

“I'm here to take back my stuff, just because I stole your man doesn't mean you can.”

Jimin scoffs “Getting confident now are we?”

“He called off your wedding Soojin, no offence but I think even if I did steal him, I am allowed to cause you did it first and by the way I won't because at least I have a heart.”

The keypad was then again activated. Jeno opens the door, tired after a flight to and back from Taiwan.

A looks up to see Soojin and Jimin. “Soojin? Jimin? Um, would you like a cup of tea Jimin?”

“What? You didn't even ask her what she's doing here? Fact how did she even know your passcode?!”

“Soojin, what are you doing here? I said to never come back, live with Minki and leave me alone.”

“I left something,”

“It's in the main bedroom, I put it all in a box,” Jeno had already prepared to bring over to her door, never wanting to see her

Soojin shouts “You took down our photo?!”

Soojin left the door open, she was right, and he did take it down. It left a smile on Jimin’s face.

“Yeah Soojin, cause news flash you cheated on me,” Jeno said

“And you moved on to her? Minki ex?!” Soojin points to Jimin

“I don't have to explain things to you Soojin, I don't understand why you're so angry, I should be the one angry here, you came into my house unsaid,”

“I just wanted to take my things,”

“Well leave because everything of yours is in there and don't say anything 'cause I've already wired you all the money you paid for all this furniture.”

“Urgh but I am coming back,” Soojin grabs the box a leaves

“Remind me to change the passcode,” Jeno said as he smoothed out his hair

“Seems like she and Minki might have a fallout…Umm You know what I'll leave, you look like you need it.”

“No no it's fine, do you need help?”

“Oh no go ahead and rest you look tired, really tired,”

Jeno took a long-deserved shower. He takes note that he cannot be walking around shirtless anymore, knowing that Jimin is now his roommate.

Jeno, fresh out of the shower and still somewhat distracted, approached Jimin’s room. He knocked softly but got no response. He slowly opened the door and saw Jimin fast asleep on the floor with a blanket draped over her.

She had all her clothes in a box and a blanket on the floor for her to sleep in while she waited for her bed to arrive.

“Should've asked her to sleep on the couch instead,” He mumbles

Trying to be quiet, Jeno stepped into the room but tripped over the edge of the blanket. He lost his balance and stumbled forward, falling directly onto Jimin.

Jimin jolted awake, her eyes wide with shock as she found herself pinned beneath Jeno. “What—?” A strong smell emitted from Jeno after his shower

Wet hair, towel wrapped around his neck…

Jeno scrambled to get off her, his face red with embarrassment. “I’m so sorry! I only wanted to wake you up!”

Jimin blinked in surprise before letting out a soft laugh, flustered “It’s alright, just too tired, I cannot wait for my closet and bed to arrive.”

Jeno extended a hand to help her up, still apologetic. “I didn’t mean to intrude like that. Are you okay?”

Jimin nodded, still chuckling. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just a bit startled.”

Jeno gave a relieved smile. “I just wanted to tell you that you can sleep on the couch while you wait for your bed to arrive, it's better than sleeping with just your blanket”

“Uhm yeah actually that'd be great,” Jimin picks up her blanket

They settled back into their spaces, the unexpected encounter bringing a light-hearted moment to their evening.

-

Jeno had woken up from the smell of food. The last time be had that smell was in the family home.

He followed the delicious aroma to the kitchen, where he found Jimin cooking breakfast. The sight of her working diligently over the stove reminded him of home.

"Good morning," Jeno greeted, a smile tugging at his lips. "I didn't realise you were up so early."

Jimin turned, slightly startled but smiling warmly. "I thought breakfast, its the least I could do after you offered me a home."

Jeno took in the spread she was preparing, feeling a surge of appreciation. "You were the one I saw that my ex was a cheater so I can call it even,” He laughs lightly “This smells amazing, do you need help with anything?."

Jimin shook her head, still smiling. "I’ve got it covered, but thanks."

“Any plans today?” Jimin asked

“No, I plan on staying here, getting more sleep calls, changing my passcode and probably packing for my next flight, you?”

“Going out to buy some necessities, I wanna hang a picture board, get the car I loaned back.”

Jeno stood up and took the plates from the table, heading to the sink. “Jeno-” "Yeah, no worries. I’ve got this."

Jimin watched for a moment before nodding in appreciation. "Thanks."

As Jeno washed the dishes, the clinking of plates and the warm steam from the water filled the kitchen. Jimin, feeling more at ease, started tidying up the counter.

"By the way," Jeno said, "I’ve got to ask—how’s the couch? Better than the blanket, I hope?"

Jimin chuckled softly. "Much better, thank you for letting me use it, my bed is coming in a day or two.”

-

As Jimin wandered through the mall, she noticed couples around her, their conversations filled with affectionate teasing and loving gazes On her right, a couple was holding hands, laughing softly as they selected a frame together. In another, a pair was debating over the perfect colour for their new home, their shared excitement palpable.

They reminded her of the times she had shared similar moments in the past with Minki. The affectionate glances and the easy comfort of companionship were bittersweet reminders of relationships that had once been a central part of her life.

She paused for a moment, taking in the sights and sounds around her. “I have never been so annoyed by couples until today.”

-

“Got everything done?” Jeno asked as Jimin walked in, grabbing the stuff she held for her and placing it on the living room table

“Yep,” Jimin replied, “Now I just need to find a place for this and finish unpacking.”

Jeno nodded. “If you need any help with that, just let me know.”

“I might finally take you up on that, but I’m going to start decorating.”

Jimin began to find photos of her most cherished. A picture she has of her and her family, one with Minjeong and several with Aeri. Lastly, a picture a stranger had taken of Jeno and her having a moment.

The encounter made her blush

In the middle of the night, Jeno had gotten parched. He wanted to get a warm glass of water. He turned on the kitchen lights to see that Jimin was seated on the floor with her head on the couch from the living room.

On her lap was the picture frame. She and Jeno are at the side of the frame. Jeno smiles.

“Jimin-ah” He softly called, shifting the hair that was blocking her face

Her eyes fluttered open “Come on lie down properly, don't you have work tomorrow?”

She yawns and notices that he is holding onto her frame. She smiled “Im going to put that my by bedside.”

“Kind of weird not having Minki there but then again, I haven't been thinking much about him.”

“You have me as a new addition,” He said

Her head tilted slightly before she realised he meant their picture, she nodded

“Have you been thinking about her?”

“Yes sadly, I changed my passcode so that's nice, It's just she said she'll come back, which worries me.”

“That's understandable, you don't know what she'll do, it just makes you wonder what happened between those two.”

Jeno glanced at the picture of them both. “Karma that's what.”

“Thanks, Jeno,” Jimin said softly. “Thanks for everything up till now.”

Jeno smiled and gently touched her shoulder. “We're friends, aren't we? Now, let’s get you settled so you can get some rest.”

Jimin nodded and slowly got up, stretching a bit before heading toward the couch. Jeno helped her arrange the cushions so she could lie down comfortably. As he watched her settle in, he felt a sense of warmth and satisfaction.

“Goodnight, Jimin,” he said.

“Goodnight Jeno sweet dreams.”

-

Jeno and Jimin walked together along a path lined with softly glowing lanterns.

They stopped at a cosy nook with a small table set for two, surrounded by fairy lights and soft cushions. As they sat down, their proximity created a palpable sense of closeness. Jeno found himself drawn to Jimin, their knees almost touching under the table.

The conversation flowed so easily, they were now walking back home.

“Wait so you're telling me some lady on the plane asked you on a date?” Jimin laughed

“Yeah, I said no obviously, I just found it funny how she followed me to the cockpit, no one is allowed in there.”

“I was,” She said, making eye contact

“you’re different Jimin,” as they walked their fingers lingered, so close yet so far from being held

“How so…” Jimin looks at her hands and his, balled up as if he's trying to restrain himself

“Jeno are you-”

Jeno looked into Jimin’s eyes, his heart racing with the intensity of the moment.

“I'm fine…” Slowly, he leaned in, and Jimin’s eyes fluttered closed. Their lips met in a tender yet urgent kiss, filled with the tension and longing that had been building throughout the evening. The kiss was deep and passionate, a culmination of the night’s emotional charge.

As they finally broke apart, they remained close, their breaths mingling and their foreheads resting against each other. The dream left Jeno with a heightened sense of connection and a deeper understanding of his feelings for Jimin.

Jeno jolted awake, his heart pounding. "Why am I—what kind of dream was that?" he muttered to himself, trying to calm his racing thoughts. The intensity of the dream left him disoriented and a bit flustered. He ran a hand through his hair, attempting to shake off the vivid images that still lingered in his mind.

He lay there in the darkness, staring at the ceiling, his thoughts a whirlwind of confusion and curiosity. The dream had stirred emotions he hadn’t fully acknowledged before, leaving him unsettled yet intrigued. He wondered what it meant for his feelings towards Jimin and how he should handle them.

After a few deep breaths, Jeno tried to push the dream to the back of his mind. He knew he needed to focus on the present and the reality of his friendship with Jimin.

“My mind is just playing games,” he said quietly to himself, hoping that clarity would come with time. “I just need to get some rest and deal with this in the morning.”

With that, Jeno turned off his thoughts and tried to drift back to sleep.

-

“Jeno,” Jimin calls him

“Wha- huh?” Jeno wakes up

“Your alarm, it went off like 3 times,”

“Oh erm thanks,” He looks at the time, 10 minutes before his actual time to get ready. He notices her in her work attire

“Going to work?”

She nodded “I made scrambled eggs and coffee, I’ll be off now,” She said as she walked out of his room

He gets out of bed to brush his teeth and get ready for work. Right now he is in charge of flying to Japan.

3 days of being there meant taking his mind off Jimin.

He grabs his luggage and goes to the elevator.

“Jeno! Long time no see,” Jeno turns to his left to see his neighbour “Mr Son, Good morning,” He bows due to respect

“Officially moved in with your wife huh?” He said

Jeno didn't know what to say, does he explain that his fiance cheated on him and is living with his ex’s boyfriend’s ex?? Or just nod and smile.

He nodded “Yeah we had officially moved in, just had to get things settled,” Walked into the lift

“So any plans on children,” Jeno, flustered did not know what to say

“Aye don't be embarrassed, you two are newlyweds it's normal,” Mr Son said

“I have 3 beautiful children and 5 beautiful grandkids.”

Jeno nodded, trying to maintain composure despite the awkwardness of the conversation. "Oh, right. Well, we haven’t talked about it yet. We’re still settling into the new place and figuring things out."

Mr Son chuckled, clearly enjoying the exchange. "Ah, I see. Well, you two make a lovely couple. I’m sure you’ll figure it all out I haven't seen your wife before.”

“She's a teacher so she leaves pretty early for work,” Mr Son nodded

“Well then,” The elevator doors open and Mr Son steps out first “See you around Jeno,” He gives the younger a smile

Jeno steps out, grateful for the opportunity to escape the conversation. "Have a good day at work!" Mr Son waves

Jeno managed a final nod and a brief wave, taking a deep breath to steady himself. The encounter with Mr Son had been unexpected and slightly uncomfortable, but he was determined to focus on his upcoming trip to Japan.

Jeno heads towards his car. He mentally prepared himself for the busy days ahead and tried to push thoughts of Jimin and the dream to the back of his mind, focusing instead on the tasks at hand.

-

“Teachers gather around,” Teachers looked at each other confused

“We will have our annual seniors trip,” The principal said

“And this year by popular demand, we are going to…. Kyoto Japan!”

All the teachers cheered “Wait that's like probably our furthest destination yet,” Minjeong said

“Yeah, why the change? Usually, we go to a rural area in Korea like Jeju or Busan.”

“One of the kid's parents is loaded and they provide us money to go for their son,” The principal said

“We will have all the senior’s class advisors to attend so teachers, buckle up cause in a month you'll have 4 days of extracurriculars.”

“Ah Jimin aren't you lucky, you're A5 advisor,” A co-worker said

“Yes but that also means I have to pack,” She fake cries

-

Jimin: Hey Jeno you there

Jeno: Yeah

Jimin: How's the flight?

Jeno: Pretty good but my head hurts a little from jet lag

Jimin: You've been to Japan multiple times, right?

Give me some recommendations

My school arranged a senior trip to Kyoto and im a class advisor, so

Jeno: Hmmm, good thing I'm in Japan huh?

Jimin: Haha yeah

Jeno: Hmm, the Arashiyama Bamboo Grove? It's a bamboo forest or Café du Monde. It's pretty trendy, they have nice teas.

Don't forget the iconic Sakura Trees. It's at Kyoto

Jimin: Hmm alright thanks

-

Jimin is now walking back home.

Unlocking the keypad “Oh you must be Jeno’s wife,” a neighbour said

Jimin’s brows furrowed “I believe we haven't met, I’m Mr Son, your neighbour.”

“Oh, it's Yu Jimin,” she introduces herself,

“Jeno is-“

“Must be hard having a pilot as a husband huh?” He asked

Does she explain or not? “Umm yeah, it is, always going out of the country.”

“But a big bag of money huh?” Jimin laughs at his remark

“Jeno said you're a teacher, what school do teach at?”

“Oh, I teach at SM High, I'm a math teacher,”

“SM High? My granddaughter goes there, she's a freshman.”

Oop 👀

“Well then Mr Son I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah and is he with you?”

“Oh no he's In Japan,” He nodded “I want to have dinner with the both of you one day, a knock on the door would be nice to tell me.”

Jimin smiled and nodded. She bows before entering the house.

“What do I tell Jeno?!”

Jimin: Hey um, Jeno? Jeno: Yeah? Jimin: Your neighbour asks if I'm your wife And I did not know what to say so I just smiled 🤦‍♀️ I am so sorry it’s just he’s an old man and explaining things will be hard yk?? Jeno: He asked me the same thing And ask if we planned on having children I got flustered by that Should we keep this act??

-

“Ms Yu.”

“Yeah?” A student she recognizes is “Son Seori.”

“My grandfather said you're married?”

“Huh?”

“I'm not though.” And she realised Mr Son, Son Seori is the granddaughter who studies here

“Oh, Seori-ah,” Jimin says

“Is he handsome?” The girl asked

“There's a reason why I married him huh? Now I will not say anything about my love life unless I want to, so that's all I'm going to say.”

“I also thought you were in that viral video of shouting at your ex-fiance?”

“Again Seori, no questions and no answers,” Jimin firmly stood

The student looks at her hand, no ring

“Okay Ms Yu,” She said before bowing

-

“Ms Yu, Did you marry that guy that cheated on you?” A student asked

“Of course not, that dingbat…” She realizes she's in class and not with her fellow teachers

She stands up from the teacher's table “Okay since you guys want to know,” She starts

The class pays attention, “Then continue 'because I'm not saying anything! Now on to chapter 11.” The students groan

-

“Ms Yu, why would you tell the grandfather of one of our students about your love life?” The Principal questioned

“He's my neighbour, why should I think?” Jimin said

“Well, now the video is getting resurfaced.”

“What am I getting another vacation,” She said

Her boss's eyes furrow “Okay I'm sorry, I'm very stressed out right now, I’m teaching seniors and all these questions are coming to me,” Jimin runs her fingers through her hair

“Just ignore them.”

-

Jimin: Hey Jeno This whole marriage is seriously getting out of hand Mr Son’s granddaughter studies at my school?! And rumours spread They don’t know who you are but I’m constantly getting asked if I married that hoe Urgh truly don’t know what to do

Jimin waits for his reply, nothing “He must be preparing a flight back.”

Lessons have ended and her work has ended “I am tired, I want to sleep!” She said as she touched her shoulders

“Ms Yu?” A fellow teacher called

She hummed “Is that your husband? The one I've been hearing about?”

“Urgh the students got to you huh?” Jimin asked

“My husband is in Japan.”

“Well, it's either you or Minjeong who has someone as handsome as him.”

She looks up to see Jeno, still in his attire “Jeno?”

“Jeno? That name is so fitting,” The teacher said

“I- I’ll see you around,” Jimin waves off, mouth agape

“Jeno!?! What are you doing here?!” Jimin said

“I didn't know what we did would cause this, I’m sorry,”

“And you drove here?!” Jimin scolds

“Jeno, You just- I have students and teachers still roaming around and you being here it's just-”

“Let them believe,” Jeno says with a smile, handing her a bouquet. “Or not.”

“Jeno, I appreciate the flowers, but—”

“I'm sorry for just coming here, I saw your message and felt bad,” Jeno looks around and sees tons of eyes on him

“I feel like a celebrity,” He laughed

Jimin sighs “I am at fault too… I shouldn't have told Mr Son about where I work, now most of them know what my husband looks like.”

“I am not even your wife! Yet this is getting out of hand.”

“They teenagers, im sure it will die down, now let's go home fake wife,” Jeno opens the car for her

She rolls her eyes “Okay fake husband.”

The drive home was honestly horrible for both of them. Jeno’s dream about Jimin never left and his feelings for the teacher are constantly growing. The fact that she is a teacher working with children makes his heart flutter at the fact that she is very good with her kids.

Mr Son’s words circled again, “When are you playing to have kids?” Jeno clears his throat

Jimin on the other is looking out the window, trying to ignore how good he looks and secretly looking at his reflection in the mirror. “Jimin,” He calls

“Yeah?” She turns to look at him

“We’re here,” He said

“Oh!” Jimin opens the door, forgetting that her seatbelt is still on

“Jimin-”

As Jimin tries to stand up, she forgets to unbuckle her seatbelt, and the sudden tension pulls her back down into the seat. Jeno, quick to react, reaches out and catches her before she can fully topple over.

“Careful! Your seatbelt is still on.”

Jimin, blushing from embarrassment and at the proximity, looks up at Jeno as he helps her with the seatbelt. “Oh god that is so embarrassing, I didn’t notice I still had the belt on,” She closes her eyes tightly

As she opens her eyes, she sees Jeno slowly moving away from her, the seatbelt now off her waist. The proximity lingers, and the awkward but intimate moment adds to the tension between them.

Jeno, smiling gently, trying to ease the awkwardness. “It happens. No worries.”

She sighs, still flustered. “Thanks for catching me. I guess I’m a bit of a mess today.”

“We all have those days. Let’s get inside,” He chuckles softly

As they step out of the car, the brief closeness serves as a subtle reminder of their growing connection.

-

The next Morning

“When is the trip?” Jeno asked as he set up the plates

“In two weeks,” she answers

“The house would be empty while we’re both gone,” She nodded

“What do you like about being a teacher?”

“I get to see all the children grow up, and seeing them graduate is rewarding, they might be very weird but weren't we all Teenagers?” Jimin said

Jeno nodded and chuckled “I wonder what Teenage Yu Jimin was like.”

“I was an Ulzzang.”

“You were?” Jimin nodded “I mean that’s understandable, you're gorgeous,” Jeno states

Jimin had stopped slurping on her noddle. They make eye contact.

She clears her throat “T-thank you.”

Suddenly there came a lock on the door. They both looked at each other, questioning if they had ordered anything but who would be here so early

“Mom? Dad, Noona,” Jeno had opened the door to see his family

Jimin’s eyes widen “His family’s here.”

“Hi Jeno, We came to see how you're doing,” His sister said

“My baby is doing alright, right?” His mother questioned

“Yeah, I have.”

“And who’s this?” His Dad questions

“She looks familiar…” Jeeun squints her eyes

“Oh! You're the lady who crashed my brother’s wedding!” Jimin winces at her comment

“Yeah, again I am so sorry.”

“What why? We hated her,” She said

Jeno looks at his sister “What? She cheated on you.”

“Anyways, what are you doing here?” His mother asked

“Oh um it's a little complicated, she’s my roommate now,” Jeno explains

“I moved out of my ex’s house and Jeno asked If I wanted to move in.”

“Yeah, It was Soojin and I and we both paid for the bills but now that we are no longer together, I thought having a roommate would be nice,” Jeno explains

His parents nodded, understanding. His sister however whispered, “Sure, roommates with someone of the opposite gender huh?’

His ears turned pinkish

The family and Jimin had dinner. Jimin had profusely apologised for not preparing something more decent than ramyeon.

“Jimin-ah it's okay, we did come here unexpectedly,” Ms Lee, his mother said

“Your mother came here to give you some homemade food, I’m sure all the hotel food you've been eating overseas is boring you,” His father says

“Oh thanks, Jimin here had been making food for us so that makes up for it, doesn't mean I don't miss your food though Mom,” Jeno gives his usual eye smile

His sister has been observing both her younger brother and Jimin.

She makes eye contact with Jimin, mouthing “You two, look good for each other.”

Jimin’s eyes widened, denying it.

“Jimin-ah next time I will bring more food for two people,” Jimin bows “Oh no no it's okay, Jeno’s place is just a temporary place for me to settle more money for a proper house.”

Jeno’s expression turns upside down. Jeeun notices “Uh Mom Dad we should go, quickly eat up, Jimin here has to go to work soon.”

Jeeun lightly pushed her parents out the door “Oh, okay we'll see you bye.”

-

Once they were out Jeno asked,

“Have you found a place?” Jeno asked as he closed the door

“Yeah actually, it's not as big as yours but it will be enough for a single woman like me,” She said

“Are you looking for one?”

“For what?”

“Someone? That special someone that will fill in that empty void in your heart that was once for Minki,” Jeno asked as he cleared the table, avoiding eye contact

“I found that someone, however, I’m not even sure if he even feels the same,” She looks at Jeno

“Oh…” He clears his throat “I-I clean the dishes.”

Jeno’s question lingered in the air, stirring a mix of emotions between them. As he focused on clearing the table and avoiding eye contact, Jimin revealed she had found someone but wasn’t sure if he felt the same.

Jimin’s gaze met Jeno’s briefly before she looked away, her uncertainty about his feelings echoing in the room. Jeno, flustered by the unexpected revelation, awkwardly shifted to cleaning the dishes, trying to process what had just been said.

-

As Jeno was flying the plane, Jaemin noticed his dilemma “What’s going on Jen?”

Jeno sighs “She found a place Jaemin, is it weird that I feel like she should have told me? I only found out when she talked with my family.“

Jeno sighs "We’re not even together, I don't think I have the right to feel this upset."

Jaemin raised an eyebrow, glancing at his friend with a mix of sympathy and understanding. “I get where you’re coming from, but just because you’re not together doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t valid. Emotions don’t always follow the rules we set for ourselves.”

Jeno ran a hand through his hair, clearly troubled. “I guess I just feel like I’m overstepping somehow.”

Jaemin leaned back in his seat, thoughtful. “You’re not overstepping. Sometimes, when you spend time with someone and share experiences, feelings can develop naturally. It’s okay to feel attached or even upset when things don’t go as you hoped, even if you didn’t plan for it.”

Jeno’s brow furrowed as he considered Jaemin’s words. “But what if I’m just complicating things? What if I’m not even sure where I stand with her?”

Jaemin reassured him, "Being honest with yourself means acknowledging your strong feelings, It's not about what's 'right' or 'wrong’ it's about what's true for you, If you want clarity, talking to her could help."

Jeno sighed, looking out at the endless expanse of sky. “You make it sound so simple, but I’m still worried about how she’ll react, I don’t want to make things awkward or push her away.”

Jaemin placed a hand on Jeno’s shoulder, "It's normal to be worried, but if you don't tell her how you feel, you might miss the chance to work things out or find out if she feels the same, being honest can help you understand each other better, and it's worth taking that chance."

Jeno nodded slowly, taking in Jaemin’s advice. “I guess you’re right, just need to be honest with her and see where things go from there.”

Jaemin smiled encouragingly. “Exactly! Whatever happens, at least you’ll know where you stand. And who knows? It might turn out to be a positive step for both of you.”

Jeno took a deep breath, feeling a bit more resolved. “Thanks, Jaem, I needed that.”

Jaemin grinned. “Anytime, Jeno. You’ve got this. Just be true to yourself, and everything will work out.”

-

A few days later. Soojin comes back knocking on their door.

Jeno looks at Jimin “Can I please ignore her?”

“I can hear you!” Soojin said

He opens the door “Soojin I would beg for you to never come back, what even happened to you and Minki.”

“He went to another girl,” Soojin said

Jimin scoffs “So as soon as I left and you became his main chick he decided to get another side, wow.”

“Soojin you left me, you cheated on me. What makes you think I would crawl back to you after what you've done?! I have a new life and a better one once you leave.”

“Don't you miss the memories we had? This was our house,” Soojin said

“No because those will be replaced with me and Jimin,” Jeno said

“Fine!” She leaves

The door slammed shut behind Soojin, leaving Jeno and Jimin in the quiet aftermath. The weight of the confrontation hung heavy in the air. Jeno took a deep breath, trying to shake off the lingering tension.

“Jeno.” Jimin’s voice cut through the silence, soft yet probing.

Jeno turned to face her, his expression weary. “Yeah?”

Jimin took a step closer, her gaze steady. “What did you mean when you said that your memories with Soojin will be replaced with the ones you’re making with us?”

Jeno hesitated for a brief moment, his heart pounding in his chest as if it were trying to escape. The unexpected words had left him spinning, and now the weight of his words was sinking in. "I... I didn't mean just us as in the two of us together, I meant... finding new meaning and value in what we’re building.”

Jimin’s eyes searched his face, sensing there was more he wanted to say. “And what does that mean for us, Jeno?”

Jeno took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts and feelings. “It means that being with you is becoming incredibly important to me. I never expected to feel this way, but... the more time we spend together, the more I realise how much you mean to me.”

Jimin’s eyes widened slightly, her emotions a mix of surprise and hope. “Jeno, are you saying...?”

Jeno nodded, his voice steady but filled with emotion. “Yeah, Jimin, what we have together, it’s something I want to hold onto. I want to build new memories with you and see where this goes.”

“I- Jeno,”

“I know I’m sorry, I guess in that moment, the truth comes out, I understand if you don't feel the-”

But Jimin didn’t let him finish. She stepped forward, closing the distance between them, and placed a gentle hand on the side of his face. Her eyes searched his, filled with sincerity and affection.

“Jeno,” she said softly, her voice barely a whisper.

Jeno’s breath caught, and he looked at her, his heart racing. He had been about to backpedal, but Jimin’s proximity, her gaze stopped him.

Without another word, Jimin leaned in, The kiss was soft at first, a gentle exploration that conveyed the depth of their emotions. Jimin’s lips were tender against his, her kiss lingering with a sweetness that spoke of both affection and longing.

Jeno’s response was immediate, his arms encircling her waist, drawing her closer. The kiss deepened, becoming more fervent as their feelings poured out through their touch. The world around them seemed to disappear, leaving only the sensation of their shared intimacy.

Jimin’s fingers threaded into Jeno’s hair, pulling him nearer as she pressed her lips more firmly against his. The kiss was now charged with a passionate intensity, it was a moment of pure connection, where their unspoken feelings and hopes were expressed through their embrace.

When they finally pulled away, both of them were breathless, their foreheads resting against each other’s. Jimin’s eyes were soft and reassuring. “I’ve been feeling the same way, Jeno. I just didn’t know how to say it either.”

Jeno’s gaze softened, his eyes searching Jimin’s with a mixture of vulnerability and earnestness. “I don’t want you to move out,” he said quietly, his voice carrying a weight of sincerity.

“A-and I’m sorry, I- I just want to be with you, be near you, Im so often out of the country that I don't know where else to find you besides here…”

“Of course, I can't force you, it is your decision and you said that you found a place, I overstepped.”

“Thanks for telling me,” Jimin says

“I have found a place, but I’ll tell them that someone else can have it,” She said

Jeno’s face lit up with a mix of relief and hope. “You mean you’ll stay?”

Jimin nodded, her eyes warm. “Yes, I want to stay. I realised that what we have here is something worth keeping. I’ll let them know I’ve changed my mind about the place.”

Jeno stepped closer, his voice full of gratitude. “Thank you, Jimin. I’m really glad.”

Jimin smiled, her gaze steady. “Let’s just take things one step at a time. We’ll figure this out together.”

Jeno’s smile widened, feeling more at ease. “Absolutely. I’m looking forward to it.”

-

Jeno drives Jimin to the airport, I mean that's where he works.

“I'll see you on Thursday?” Jeno said

“Yeah,”

“Text me once you reach,” Jeno said

“Will do,” Jimin hugs him before walking to her colleagues

“Oh god did you see Ms Yu with her husband!”

“Urgh yes!? Literally visuals AHH!” The students talk

Jimin overhears, laughing.

-

On their way to the Sakura trees, Jimin’s group of students finds themselves in a quaint park. While exploring, Yuri, one of Jimin’s students, trips and injures her ankle

As Jimin continues to assist, Yuri expresses her worry. She says, “I’m sorry, Ms Yu, I remember you telling us you wanted to see the Sakura trees.” The concern in her voice reflects her frustration that her teacher’s plans had been disrupted

Jimin, offering a reassuring smile, responds, “Hey, it’s okay. What matters is that you’re okay and safe.” Her calm demeanour and kind words help ease the girl’s anxiety

-

This is the last night of the Senior’s trip

Jimin decides to join her class campfire

“Hi everyone, enjoying yourself?” She asked, taking a seat next to a student

“Yup, totally I cannot believe today is the last night,” A student said

“Yeah after tomorrow I will have to start planning on what assignment I should give,” Jimin said

“Aw, Ms Yu!” The students protest

She laughs

“Ms. Yu, since you’re married—”

“I am not married,” Jimin interrupts. “I am pursuing someone.”

The students exchanged glances, and then looked back at their teacher. “Tell us the story or we won’t believe it.”

Jimin rolls her eyes and sighs. “The cat’s out of the bag anyway, so… me and this guy met at the altar.”

“AHH, SO IT’S THAT GUY!”

“Shh, quiet down. Yes, it is the guy I went viral with,” Jimin said

The students buzz with excitement, remembering the video of their teacher stopping a wedding. Jimin chuckles at their reactions and continues, “So, we had a bit of a dramatic start, but it’s been quite a journey since then.”

“We continue to meet at unexpected places; we even met overseas. So, kids, you might cringe at this, but fate does exist.”

“Are you guys dating?!” one student asks eagerly

“Please, please say you are!” another chimes in

“Nope,” Jimin replies, causing the students to groan. “We did confess our feelings, but this trip kind of put things on hold.”

“Ms. Yu, don’t blame it on this trip!” one of the students protests

Jimin laughs and shakes her head. “It’s not just the trip. We’re figuring things out, and right now, this is where we are.”

“I hope he asks you to be his ‘G word,’” one student says with a wink

“Well then, tell me your stories,” Ms. Yu pouts. “It’s a little unfair. And if you tell me who your crush is, I might just change the seat arrangements for next semester.”

Suddenly, the students start raising their hands, eager to share their secrets and stories.

Jimin laughs and starts calling on them, “Okay, okay, don’t get too excited. You’re all seniors, so you’d better be writing essays, not just love letters, alright?” Jimin says with a playful smile

The students laugh and nod, the mood light and cheerful as they start sharing their own stories and crushes.

Note: I love it when my lecturers talk about their significant other. How their eyes sparkle! Especially when they have kids too aww okay anyway.

-

Jimin: Hey Jen!

I'll be back tomorrow, you'll be overseas right?

Jeno: Yeah, Japan actually😅

Jimin: Oh? HAHAH

I didn’t get to see the Sakura trees, I had some stuff I had to deal with in my class🥲

Jeno: Aww I’m sorry about that Min

Jimin: But hey they’re safe, that’s what matters

Jeno: Hmm, I see you on Sunday then.

Jimin: Yeah

-

“Hey Jeno?”

“Yeah?”

“Wanna switch flights?” “Why?”

“It's been a long time since I went to Japan, I kinda want to go there.”

“Sorry man I have to collect some stuff, I've booked my timings.”

“Oh well okay, I- I'll see who else could.”

Jeno has planned on collecting some Sakura petals as a gesture knowing she missed the chance to see the Sakura trees, he presents her with a jar filled with delicate cherry blossom petals.

“I know you didn’t get to see the Sakurawhile you were in Japan,” Jeno says softly, holding out the jar. “So I wanted to bring a bit of that beauty to you.”

Jimin’s eyes light up as she takes the jar, touched by the thoughtful gesture. The petals inside are a soft pink, capturing the essence of the blossoms she missed.

Jeno then takes a deep breath and looks at her with a hopeful expression. “And I have one more question to ask. Will you be my girlfriend?”

That was what he had planned for

However,

As Jeno walks back to his hotel room in Japan, he’s carrying the jar of cherry blossom petals he’s collected for Jimin. The streets are bustling with activity, but something catches his attention—an enormous TV screen outside a nearby newsstand.

The screen flashes a breaking news alert: “Breaking News: There has been a serious accident involving a class of 40 students in Korea.”

Jeno’s heart drops as he reads the headline. His breath catches, and he instinctively stops, staring at the screen in shock. The broadcast continues with details about the accident and updates on the condition of the students, including Jimin.

Without hesitation, Jeno's thoughts race to Jimin. He quickly pulls out his phone, trying to get in touch with her and the hospital for more information.

Determined to be there for her, Jeno makes arrangements to return to Korea as soon as possible, his mind set on being by her side and ensuring she gets the support she needs.

As Jeno rushes through the airport, the jar of cherry blossom petals tightly clutched in his hand, he feels a growing sense of urgency and anxiety. At the security checkpoint, the jar attracts immediate attention.

The security personnel, eyeing the jar with suspicion, ask Jeno numerous questions. “What’s in the jar?” one of them inquires.

“These petals are from the Sakura tree,” Jeno explains. “I collected them for my girlfriend.”

The security team exchanges uncertain glances, deliberating over the request. “We have strict rules about organic materials,” one officer says

“Please just one petal,” He pleaded

After a brief discussion, they allow Jeno to keep just a single petal, while the rest of the petals are confiscated for further inspection. Jeno accepts the decision with a heavy heart, grateful to retain at least a small part of his carefully prepared gift.

With the single petal safely tucked away, Jeno proceeds to his gate, his thoughts focused on getting to Jimin as quickly as possible.

Jeno arrives back in Korea, his heart heavy with worry for Jimin.

He rushes to the hospital, using the information he gathered from the news articles to navigate his way through the busy corridors. The petal, wrapped delicately in tissue, feels like a fragile representation of his heart and his longing to be by her side.

When he reaches Jimin’s room, he finds her resting but awake. The sight of her, though injured, is a relief. Jeno approaches her bedside, holding out the wrapped petal with a tender expression.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” he says softly. “I brought this from Japan. I wanted to bring you a whole jar of petals, but I could only keep this one. It’s wrapped in tissue.”

Jimin’s eyes well up as she takes in the gesture. “Thank you for coming, never thought I’d see you,” She said

She wipes the tears “And thank you for this, I'll keep it even if it dies.”

With a shaky voice, he says “Just focus on getting better,” He takes her hand, caressing it

“I’ll be here for you, no matter what.” Jeno that day had decided he could not do a confession, his heart broke seeing her in that state.

-

A month later

Jimin stands in front of her classroom, now decorated with colourful banners and heartfelt messages for Teachers' Day. The atmosphere is filled with a sense of celebration, but her thoughts are heavy.

She looks at her students, all now fully healed. The accident had left some with minor injuries and others with more serious ones. It had deeply troubled her, not only because she couldn’t protect them but also because of the looming fear of potential lawsuits from their parents.

“Students,” she begins, her voice steady but filled with emotion, “I’m so glad to be your teacher. Seeing all of you here today, healthy and strong, means the world to me.”

The students listen attentively, their expressions a mix of gratitude and admiration.

Jimin continues, “Let’s make the most of the next three months before your exams start. We’ll work hard together, support each other, and make sure you’re all prepared.”

Her words are met with enthusiastic nods and smiles. The students appreciate her dedication and the encouragement she offers, knowing that despite the challenges, she remains committed to their success.

-

“Jimin,” Jeno calls her name from outside

“Min,” His eyes soften when he sees her “What are you doing? Shouldn't you be asleep, that's what you always tell your students.”

“Yeah but, I'm not even a student but I'm stressed out for them,” Jeno kisses her something they've grown accustomed to

“And Jeno I've been wanting to” Jimin gets a call

“It's one of my students, they probably need help with a question,” Jimin’s question was left in the air

“I’ll be right back,” She said

As Jimin takes the call, Jeno walks out of the room, giving her space to handle the situation.

-

Today was the last day of the SATs, Jimin is left stressed but as she walked out of the school she sees Jeno

“Oh? Jeno?”

“Hi, I’ve prepared something as celebratory you’re finally free from stress!”

“Yeah agree, I hope next year I don’t get seniors,” She laughs as they get into his car

As Jeno and Jimin enter their house, the soft glow of the evening lights creates a warm and inviting atmosphere. The room is elegantly decorated, enhancing the romantic mood of their getaway.

Jeno closes the door behind them, his gaze locking onto Jimin's. He steps closer to her, his hands reaching out to gently push her back against the wall. The intimacy of the moment heightens as their bodies press close together.

"I've been waiting for this," Jeno murmurs, his voice low and filled with emotion. His hands begin to explore, tracing a delicate path from her jawline to her neck, and then down to her collarbone. Each touch is slow and deliberate, savouring the connection between them.

Jimin closes her eyes, her breath hitching slightly at the sensation of his touch. She leans into him, feeling the warmth of his hands against her skin. Her heart races, and she tilts her head slightly, offering him more of her neck as she enjoys the gentle caress.

Jeno's fingers continue their gentle exploration, his touch both tender and passionate. He leans in, brushing his lips against her skin with soft, lingering kisses.

Jeno kisses Jimin, almost trying to invite her to do more. Her dress cascades off her. He takes it in, admiring her, lust in his eyes.

This time, Jimin took the lead, her hands working skillfully on his tie and then his collared shirt.

Their breaths mingle as Jimin trails her fingers on his abs. He takes her hand, placing it around his neck, The kiss they share is deeper now, filled with the intensity of their feelings. They move together in a dance of intimacy his bed.

“I've been wanting this, but there's something which I wanted ever since you gave me your petals,” Jimin said, breaths heavy

Jeno stops “Can we be official Jeno? We kissed and now this, it just bothers me that we haven't put a label on us…”

“You beat me to it,” Jeno said as he leaned on the headboard

“I planned to ask you when I come back from Japan, but,” He caresses the scar she had on her leg from the plane accident

“I knew it was a bad time, what mattered was your recovery and then SATs came in, you were stressed for your students…”

He took a deep breath, looking into her eyes with a mixture of hope and resolve. “Will you be my girlfriend, Yu Jimin?”

Jimin’s eyes softened “Yeah…” she whispered, her voice filled with emotion. She kissed him again, more passionately this time. The act of placing a label on their relationship made it official, and both of them felt a profound sense of completeness.

-

The morning light gently filters through the curtains of Jeno’s room, casting a soft, golden hue over the space. Jeno and Jimin lie nestled together on his bed, their bodies intertwined beneath the crisp white sheets.

As the first rays of sunlight touch Jeno’s face, he stirs awake. He blinks a few times, taking in the serene sight of Jimin sleeping peacefully beside him. Her hair is splayed out on the pillow, and her expression is calm. He smiles, feeling a deep sense of happiness and gratitude.

Jeno gently brushes a strand of hair away from Jimin’s face. He leans in to press a soft kiss to her forehead, savouring the warmth and closeness of the moment.

Jimin stirs slightly, her eyes fluttering open. She meets Jeno’s gaze with a sleepy, yet joyful smile. “Good morning,” she murmurs, her voice still hushed from sleep.

“Good morning,” Jeno replies softly. “Did you sleep well?”

Jimin slowly stretches and then quickly covers herself with the blanket as she realizes that her bare chest is exposed and the sunlight is seeping through the blinds. "Don't tell me we did it with the blinds open?!" she exclaims with surprise.

Jeno chuckles softly. “I guess we did. I suppose we were a bit too excited, huh?”

Jimin laughs nervously. “I hope no one saw us.”

“They probably enjoyed it,” Jeno teases, earning a playful slap on the arm from Jimin.

“It was at night anyway,” She replies, shaking her head with a smile. “And we’re on the 24th floor.”

Jeno nods, a gentle smile playing on his lips. “I slept wonderfully. It’s hard not to when I wake up next to you.”

Jimin pushes him lightly

Jeno smiles, pulling her by her bare waist, closer into his embrace. “I’m glad. I’ve loved every moment of it too.”

They lie there for a few more minutes, simply enjoying each other’s presence. Jeno’s fingers gently trace patterns on Jimin’s back, and Jimin rests her head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.

He kisses her gently. “We should do this more often.”

Jimin playfully rolls her eyes. “I won’t be able to walk, and we both have jobs, babe.” She emphasises the word babe with a teasing grin.

Jeno chuckles softly, his arms tightening around her. “Fair point. But I’m definitely looking forward to our next.”

“Definitely not now,” Jimin says, picking up the pile of clothes scattered from last night. As she puts on her bra, she glances over at him.

“Oh, come on, Min,” Jeno says with a playful smirk. “I’ve seen you, no need to cover up.”

Jimin laughs, shaking her head. “You’re hopeless.”

Eventually, they get up, and Jimin heads to the kitchen to make breakfast. Jeno follows her, wrapping his arms around her from behind. He rests his chin on her shoulder, a contented sigh escaping him. “You smell so good,” he says, kissing her clothed shoulder.

As they sit together, Jeno reaches for Jimin’s hand. “You know,” he says, “this has been amazing, I’m really looking forward to all the adventures we’ll share in the future.”

Jimin squeezes his hand and smiles. “Me too, I’m excited about what’s to come.”

-

[lizzibennet]

Hiii you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but what made you realise you were a lesbian rather than bi? As someone who has always identified as bi since discovering the concept of it, sometimes I really do wonder.

Or do u think of it as more fluidly- something that changes with the time of life and people you surround yourself with and other factors.

And are all the sexuality phases you have been through just as valid as the current one or can the past be negated by the strong sense of change at that moment?

Idk I just want your thoughts on it (again feel free to ignore!) (Ps: also i would love to hear your recommendation on bi lit books, fiction or otherwise!!)

sooooo to put it very simply, i realized my “attraction” to men was actually just a sense of me wanting to get recognition and validation from them. this was truly SHOCKING to me as i’ve always considered myself a pretty independent person who didn’t give a shit about what anyone thinks, and on a surface level that is true, but this was something unconscious, in such a deep level that i needed help in therapy to be able to understand it! there was just something about being *desired* by men that made me feel good, but things like, say, sex or the actual romantic relationships i pursued with them were never fulfilling to me, emotionally or physically. i also was always into men who just were not good to me and i sought it out, i think, as a form of self harm. i just thought that’s how i was! and then i met my girlfriend and just so much slotted into place. i think a lot is different because she is the love of my life, but i also needed to admit how many things seemed to be different because she is a woman, how many things are good and easy with her and were good and easy with my ex gf but were terrible headaches when dating my ex bfs. so much of my demeanor just unconsciously changed when we started dating and i felt like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, like i didn’t need to “perform” as a woman as much, and as someone who DI DN’T think i performed before i knew there was something to examine there. truly there is so much!!!! a lot of my life seems to make more sense now! i always had a little bit of doubt and even tested the label when i was like 16 but in the end i just realized even if the gf and i broke up i would simply never want to date a man again ever in my life and would only ever pursue women from then on. i also realized the things i did like about the men i dated were simply things i could get from friends. i could never be wholly fulfilled only being friends with women, i’d want to date and fall in love with them, but i do not need or want that from men. the few parts of my relationships w men i did like (which were pointedly not the sexual or romantic part of it, more like the camaraderie of it i guess) i easily get from my male friends now. saurrrr this is totally rambly because it’s still very much not tidy in my mind yet tbh but yeah comphet and a lot of self hatred did a number on me LMAO

i think sexuality can definitely be fluid and i could very well have been bisexual and then later become a lesbian! i personally don’t think that was the case with me, i think i’ve always been a lesbian and just now with the clarity of AdulthoodTM and so many relationships and experiences i can have more context and know that i’ve probably always really been attracted to women and thats all. in the end even when i id’d as bi i always said i did not want to marry a man and always thought i’d end up with a woman so i think at some level i probably always knew a little bit.

(of course bisexuals with preferences exist and having been on the receiving end of biphobia so many times over the course of the last decade i feel very strongly that bi experiences and the bi community and its history are very important for all lgbt people to know! id’ing as bi, i always felt like the fact a ton of our experiences were not black and white and uniform made other members of the lgbt community uncomfortable, and, well, now i’m a lesbian with a track record that can only be defined as contentious lmao, so i relate stoll. the discussions happening within bi spaces are all very enlightening and important. i always felt safe and very welcomed in bi spaces and i loved the local community. i just felt like i had to say this- i need it to be very clear that my experience does not invalidate bisexuality in any way shape or form)

i have no like ill will towards past me for not “seeing it” sooner, i simply do not want to be that anymore. idk if “negate” is the word i’d use, i think all my past experiences as they happened then were valid and important and tbh if interpreted them as i was back then then i have no interest in going back and revisiting all of it. i thought of myself like that back then, i lived my life as best as i could then, this is what i think now and i’ll live my life as best as i can from now on. i’m not really the type to latch/hold onto past deeds. i’ll reexamine something if i think it’s worthwhile for current me but i don’t feel the need to go and recontextualize my entire life it that makes sense. that’s how i was then and this is how i am now, both phases are just as valid in my opinion

tldr i 🩷 my gf!!!!!!!!!!

[andiover]

Ted Lasso Wish List for S3E9-E12

(In no particular order)

Phoebe: I’ll be happy to see her again at all, but I want her adopt Jamie as her new cousin. We all know he would absolutely slay at Princess and Dragon.

Dump Jane, Coach!: For good. Even if it’s offscreen and mentioned in passing.

Trent Crimm’s Daughter: Now, please. I need to see AFC Richmond turning into a bunch of softies like they do for Henry.

Colin and Isaac BFFs: I am still beside myself over E8. If they break up as friends for good, I will have no faith left in humanity. My darling fashion-challenged boys, get your shit together and fix this.

Jamie’s Mum: I don’t even need to see her on screen - just assure me she did everything she could to kick James Sr to the curb, keep her kid as far away from him as she was legally allowed, and tell me her fate.

More Bumbercatch: That chaotic little gremlin has said the wildest shit in passing this season and I never want it to end.

Roy’s Sister.: Even if it’s just once, to make a cheeky joke at Roy’s expense, I need to meet her.

Dump Jack, Keeley!: She treats Keeley like a pet or a novelty, not a partner or a person. She doesn’t even trust Keeley to hire her own office staff or write her own PR statement.

A Full Pack of Diamond Dogs: Ted, Beard, Higgins, Trent, and Roy, not just occasionally swearing from his office, but talking about his actual feeling.

Will someone please tell Jamie why he was really sent back to Man City?: They don’t even need to be specific - just let that poor boy know his coaches/dads really did want him around and it wasn’t his fault.

Rebecca gets to be a mum.: I don’t care if Sassy dies and she ends up with Nora or she hooks up with Ted and becomes Henry’s bonus mum or adopts an orphan or just figures out she already has a couple dozen very sweet, very dim sons - give my girl her one true wish.

Dump Dr Jacob, Michelle!: I don’t care that she’s got a boyfriend, but I very much care he was her ex-therapist. Your man is deeply unethical at best and creepy and malicious at worst.

The Family Higgins!: Even if it’s just Julie that makes a return, I’ll be happy to see any and all of their lovely faces.

Miscellaneous Himbo Shenanigans: All specific himbo-related requests are listed above. I just want as much of our sweet summer children being good friends and ridiculous humans as we can get.

And, the one which absolutely will not happen, but God I’d love it:

Bex gets West Ham in the divorce.: Series ends with her redecorating Rupert’s office just like Rebecca did is S1E1.

[zumpietoo]

Errmmm....nooo...we meet Slizzy, the user and the slut, always taking credit for the accomplishments of others, fucking over others and being a trampy, violent psychopath....

No, she’s “looked to spiral” and now has “looked to a cult”..

Yes, yes....sorry, but not new..

Noooo, she’s become the champion for self victimization, being a total hypocrite, temper tantruming and body shaming other women for choices that are none of her business. Especially when she doesn’t get invited to parties. 

I met PP in LA, she was already sulking her ass off. She remains seated because she’s fucking lazy AF. She talks to me about her ladypain and not bothering to get real treatment/address her issues....she does sidestep her cult a lot this time, so maybe she’s getting bored with that shit.....otherwise, she literally says the same bullshit she always says....

There is nothing remotely “intimate” here, it’s her stand blabber (tho she might’ve let slip a thing or two)...

I fucking hate this job, even tho it’s the best I’m ever gonna do. But I like to pretend otherwise. Also, do you have $5 to give me? I need $$$

I actually haven’t and I’m seekritly fully aware I suck ass. I’m also seekritly aware this is the best it’s ever gonna be and I’m staring down obscurity already. And by “my style”, I mean everybody kissing my ass...

No, in fact, I have to buy my way onto things. This is some bullshit I’ve made up, since the role/project is on indefinite hold, anyway.....and I was neverrrr gonna get it. And even if I had, would’ve fallen flat on my face.

I was sooooo speshullllllll.....and sensitive, cuz that’s how I like to see myself when I’m a difficult mess....

Sooo, soooo, SOOOOOOO speshul....

I wanted lots of attention and could tell Cole was finally getting REALLY fed up with my bullshit for good, so I figured I’d preemptively shade him with this....also I really like $$$, so I figured I’d “publish” shit I’d shared with my fandumb for free on tumblr all along....

I can’t believe people are such meanies that they actually CRITICIZED  my middle school style whining!!!

Oh no, I routinely excuse myself from everything! And I, in fact, exactly wanted everybody to see how deep and sensitive I am....and to start shading Cole, cuz how dare he get fed up with me fucking around and making my MH issues the central focus of our relationship? It’s like he thought HE was a person with needs, tooo!!!

AND HOW DARE HE FUCKING DUMP ME AND START DATING, A FULL YEAR LATER, A WOMAN WAY SKINNIER THAN I AM?????

Alsoooo.....my costars point at me and call me “fatty”. Except FT, cuz her ass is huge....oh and Shannon, but I don’t count her. She’s moar Cole’s friend and actually talented/serious about her craft....

By “therapist” I mean cult leader, buuut..... Oh yeah....and did I mention, as I’m saying this, I’m a total hypocrite who gets lots of plastic surgery? Cuz this is all legit bullshit......it’s soooo hard.....

I was told to ask you about something you never shut up about/is not remotely new info! BTW....did you just basically say “you’re bi-polar”??? Cuz that isn’t how depression works....

Also I believe you have no “healthy relationships” in your life atm and the last (possibly only ever) one was Cole, correct? Is that why you’re stalking him/his current GF with his other ex?

Oh also, I totally am NOT “trying to escape” by being in a cult, doing drugs a lot and “talking to ghosts thru the ether”...

People don’t, actually...my agent had to really haul ass to make it happen. I have exposed myself as a whiny hypocrite who just wants to get attention, sympathy and most importantly swag/$$$.

Also, I’ve been telling peeps they “don’t know what I’m capable of” since 2017....so plenty of time to change that. I’m too lazy and entitled....this is my slightly humbler version, cuz I’m also soooperrr gloomy these days. 

But, again, depression rocks...see above!

[061801]

I don’t think someone’s ever been able to ask me how I’ve been doing and I’ve said; I’m doing really well. Idk if it’s just my perspective on life but there’s always something I’m going through that is unbearable to get through. Right now I literally don’t even have a quarter of my rent because I booked a day off and tried to get my g2 that I failed so I have no license, my health card expired and of course I’m sick (I literally could go get it renewed I just have no energy to fucking bus or walk there and that’s another thing that I’m upset about cuz I’m 23 and still BUSSING AND WALKING PLACES.) I have no money to Uber there. My ex passing and then my family being really shitty about it so I feel like I don’t have any of my family to talk to about it. Idk if I would say my bf has high standards but I mess up a lot and when I look back they’re not even hard things to follow I’m just not used to caring about certain stuff and I feel like I’m always mentally unstable and he’s very stable and I just feel like a burden in his life. I also know he has eyes for a lot of pretty girls snd also we can’t be together for the long run because he wants to marry someone within his religion and have kids with her so honestly I feel like I’m kinda just being used as a toy until he finds what he really wants. I’m never any of my friends first choice except for friends that I literally don’t want to be around not gunna lie. It’s not that I don’t like them, but because of the amount of suffering I’ve done in my life I just have no more tolerance to do things I don’t wanna do like hangout with ppl on their couch with their kids. I’d rather just text u and sit on my own couch by myself without getting interrupted by your kid every 30 seconds and listening to it scream and bang shit around. I don’t want to have to do certain things to avoid hurting ur baby and I’m sry I know I’m being shitty but I just fucking don’t want to. Im having a really hard time figuring out what my hobbies are. I really enjoy gymnastics and cheerleading but unfortunately that’s an insanely expensive hobby and very risky. It’s one thing if I was doing it since I was a kid but I could literally paralyze my entire body doing it especially with the condition my body is in. I have thought maybe I could do open gym sessions again just at $15 per day which isn’t bad. My social anxiety gets me really good tho. I wish I had a friend that enjoyed gymnastics that would actually go with me :( I also do like photography and playing piano recently but I get really discouraged when my photos don’t turn out and when I play piano I’m having a hard time remembering the chords and I try to sing and I get too nervous. Overall writing this I’ve realized I’m just a nervous wreck. I’m afraid of everybody and everything which is ironic considering I act so unfazed by everything when in reality everything hits like an avalanche. I need to force myself to view the world a different way but my brain is so corroded idk how I’d ever do it. I physically can’t see the reality of it. Idk how to describe it but thinking of myself being genuinely happy makes me incredibly sad. Idrk how. I’m thinking it’s because I just don’t see the reality of it happening and I want it so bad. Clearly not bad enough because I continue my bad habits. Even if I had money I feel like I’d still be incredibly depressed because money is very cool but I want a genuine connection with someone. I see people happy with their family or friends or boyfriend/girlfriend and I have like erased all my emotions and ability to show vulnerability and affection. The second I get a slight feeling that I might look like a joke to someone; I run or I get really aggressive. The amount of times I’ve been cheated on and lied to by my own family even; is truly sad. Sad is an understatement. I wish I knew who I would have become had I not went through so much. I feel like I would have accomplished a lot of things such as a real hobby, probably a career by now. I definitely would have had a car and a group of friends. I’ll never know :(

[bisluthq]

I generally just infodump about Taylor Swift in my submission, but I actually need some advice (or literally just to vent).

So, about a month ago I moved from Grade 10 (high school) to Grade 11 (college) and obviously it's been an adjustment period, but I'm starting to get used to things.

The problem is, like a week after I expressed to my best friend that I'd felt like our friend group (including her) were sort of just tolerating my presence, she texted me this LONG text basically saying that she's been trying to find the right way to say things, and that she really cares about me, doesn't want to hurt my feelings, how I haven't done anything wrong, but she's going through some shit and is really struggling mentally at the moment, and basically needs some space, and feels like she can't be there for me in the way I deserve.

I cried when I saw it, but I understood (and still do understand) where she was coming from, and was very supportive of what she'd said in my follow up messages. But since then, every time I've seen her at school she's been with out other friend, even though she said she'd expressed this to other people.

Me, her, and the other friend all share a maths class, and they've stopped sitting with me. The first time it happened, she texted me that night and was like, "fuck were you here today? I'm so sorry."

And to be quite honest, I'm upset, but I sort of feel like I shouldn't be. She's done everything "right", and done her best to make it clear I haven't done anything, but it still feels a little targeted, especially since when I told her about feeling ignored she was like, "I really think for your sake you need to get out more/talk to more people" but even that was phrased as nicely as possible.

It's all just a mind-fuck, and I don't what to do. I've just been hanging out with some other people I'm a little less close to and it’s been great, but she's my best friend and I hate not talking to her, even if I get why.

I think transition periods (middle to secondary; secondary to college; college to uni; uni to workplaces) often come with these sorts of complicated friend situations and it absolutely does suck. I think you’re justified in feeling a bit ticked off and it is - imho - a little bit personal (which is okay). By the sound of it, she wants to craft a bit of a new identity and strike outside her established comfort zone and you’d prefer to stay close and keep the status quo. That’s an impasse. I’d recommend trying to make some new friends and getting out your comfort zone too. You and her might reconnect in time, or maybe you’re growing in separate directions. That’s definitely sad but it’s a part of life. I’d focus on making new friends at college and your extramurals/part-time job. Be proactive. The people you like from college but aren’t close to - why not invite them to do something together? You aren’t close now but you might become close and it’s a chance to spread your wings and make new friends (which seems to be what she wants to do too). Neither of you are at fault - this is a really hard but normal thing to go through.

I had a similar situation actually partway into uni so not even during a life transition but basically a friend told me a similar thing. It was right after my ex and I broke up and I was sorta leaning on being very sociable and she and I had been friends since school and anyway I kept asking her if she wants to hang out and eventually she said to me that she feels we’re growing apart and should take some space from each other. Her and I actually went on to do the same postgrad course and we’ve hung out again but we’ve never been THAT close and yes it hurt a lot (her message was ruder than your friend’s btw) but eh she was probably right like we were growing in different directions and the close friendship was running its natural course. Didn’t make it hurt less but I wish her well and I’m glad I did manage to make a bunch of new friends at uni - many of whom are lifelong friends - which I probably wouldn’t have done if she hadn’t sorta given me that push and carried on focusing on like her and our other school friend and mutual friends with my ex.

allow yourself to hurt and mourn a bit but also go out and be sociable and make new friends imo!

[xsadcorebenji]

but also, looking back to past loves crushes and relationships i’ll agree that i wasn’t the best all the time and i did really shitty fucky emotionally abusive things

but also, goddamn, do none of y’all ever look in a mirror because you sure as shit never shit gold,

honestly! HONESTLY, the only person who i was ENTIRELY at the fault of was my first major ex. like holy shit, she just out of all of these assholes seemed to have her shit together like holy shit.

i mean she broke up with me because she realized she only was in love with the idea of me, and was honest about it. loved me enough to stay friends with me even after.

and when it got too much for her she just broke a silence and just let me know “i think you’re kind and intelligent but i’m uncomfortable with being friends with you, sorry”

something along those lines but holy shit. i wish i could thank you for being the only one who was ever just STRAIGHT with me, not all of this constant bombardment of projections on me, just all the blame shifting on me. or just trying desperately to finding an out while demonizing me.

thank you for being brave enough to be honest with me.

thank you for being patient enough to want to stay friends even though i definitely became somewhat resentful.

thank you for your kind words, actually.

it’s been too long, and i wish i could talk to the you who knew me. because i don’t think you’d know me anymore, but also, i don’t know, i actually just have a huge personality and stick out of the crowd constantly. don’t exactly “blend in.” and not sure how many other people you talk to that can go from talking about Halloween season cereal to like fucking “do you believe in convergent time lines? how would that operate?” to fucking “ah this is like 57372th wave tumblrcore, reminds me of early SOPHIE but if SOPHIE was trying to be Japanther”

but either way thank you. if our paths ever cross again i’ll thank you in person,

i’ll say, “sorry i was the way i was to you; and i want to thank you for being the only one who handled me well”

that’s it; nothing else, wouldn’t even matter if you resented me all the while

i am so happy to have met you and experienced you.

and i hope if i ever do partner again, i’d be with someone just as kind as you were.

(if not kinder, i mean ideally kinder, you got hella disappointed when i bragged about how much i stole in front of this asshole who was condescending me in this uptight part of town in this shitty cafe, i fucking took SO MUCH while staring directly into his eyes, that revenge theft was so fucking satisfying, it was incredible, the sheer pettiness of it is making me laugh)

(you got SOOOOOOO disappointed with me, i felt so bad. but also, i kinda didn’t understand why you would get annoyed with the fact that i usually do a lot of shit alone, i guess you were looking out for me,

but i swear to god, i don’t want to be in a relationship with anyone if they don’t let me have my independence for a bit like goddamn)

but still, despite that, thank you.

also i’m sorry i ripped up your letters. they would’ve probably given me a lot of comfort lately.

you believed in me so much. you genuinely thought i was going to become this great artist.

and you know what, who knows?

maybe i still will. only time can tell.

all that matters is that i enjoy it. the struggle. the suffering. the highs and lows. all of it.

i am content now. i think somehow you helped by sticking out like a sore thumb and not being a mean person to me.

anyway. that’s all i got.

hope all my emotions get probably dispersed equally amongst who they should all go to.

i really detoured with my intention with reading this book,

and also, shit,

if you still have an interest in philosophy, (though i wonder how much of an influence i has for you as you started college)

i cannot recommend Bertrand Russell enough, also i mean hope you became a leftist.

but also this is a dumb book to recommend. the language is dense. you’d have to have so many involved concepts to even enter into this literal history book. but it’s definitely like “okay final semester philosophy class, here we are, fuck we probably study this in our masters it’s so much”

but yeah. hope you’re doing well wherever you are.

anyway to you and to everyone i have ever loved, ever will love,

GOOD NIGHT AND I LOVE YOU

take it as personally as you can and carry it to your graves

thank you and adieu! ❤️

[lets-talk-spirituality]

Oh you're not open to new people:( it must be so impossible to become really friends with you in reality then uh

Not easily no. I have to vibe with the person. I’m polite obvi, and cordial but like I wouldn’t say I’m easy to get to know with all people. Because even if I’m talking to you about deep shit, you’re like oh we’re close and I’m like, not really all that’s intellectual. I don’t feel anything.

I told my therapist once my trust is like Saturn and people orbit around me on rings.

Rings of trust around the planet of my heart (December 2020)

And most people are in my outer rings. They don’t really emotionally impact me. It’s not always great. I feel defective sometimes. There was this guy I talked to casually, I felt like, for like 5 years and we would hang out. Sweet guy. He was like I’m gonna miss you and be sad when you move. And I was like why? He’s like because I enjoy your company. Mind boggling to me. He still texts sometimes and like I do care about him on a level of like I wish him well and I appreciate his care for me, but I just don’t get attached. If he never texted me again, I’d notice but it would be fine. I only ever got attached with my two exes. Like as much as I love my current coworker and we deeply vibe I doubt we will remain close friends after we stop working together or living on the same island.

[onsunnyside]

OMG OFFICER ARI HANDCUFFING YOU ?);;);?!

- stevie’s cream 🐰

Omg ok hear me out:

You’re at a Halloween party with your friends, drunk off your ass, flirty as hell, and begging your friends to take a picture with the cutie dressed like a cop.

(reader is not so smart ok) “look at him! It’s so detailed!” You trace all over his body, the badge and name tag that’s slightly blurry in the darkness. “And here I thought I’d never find my soulmate.” You blink up him in a daze, dressed in your tiny prisoner dress with fishnets and black boots.

The long haired man smiles politely, “Ma’am, I think you had too much to drink. Do you have someone to pick you up and take you home?”

“Ooh, he even talks like one!” One of your friends giggles.

“I don’t wanna go home, officer, I want you to arrest me.” You pout, “just for a itty bitty teeny tiny picture. My ex just dumped me and we were supposed to be matching… he was gonna arrest me, if you get what I mean.”

Your name is sharply scolded. “This guy doesn’t need to know your business!”

“I don’t care. It’s not like he’s a real cop.” You brush her off, still staring at the handsome stranger. “Pretty please, mister officer, I’ll be on my very best behaviour—I’ll be as good as a prisoner could be, just ‘cause you’re the cutest guy I’ve ever seen.”

He hooks his thumbs in his heavy belt, his firm arms straining against the navy fabric. God, you think it’ll burst at the seams. “Cutest you’ve ever seen, is that right?”

“Yeah and you should become a real cop, you look sexy in the uniform.” Your attention drops to his name tag again, you squint. “Mr. A-lem-oon, Mr. Officer A Lemon. I wanna be Mrs. Officer A Lemon someday.”

He laughs loudly, throwing his head back. It’s the prettiest sound in your drunken state. You’re actually upset when he stops and his laugh quiets to chuckles. He removes his hat and runs a hand through his long shoulder length hair. You swoon instantly.

“I don’t know if my folks would be happy with me marrying a criminal.”

“It’s only a costume! I’ve never committed a crime—well, I used to take plates and silverware from restaurants when I was younger, and flowers from my neighbours garden but that’s it!” You blabber as your friends slowly come to a realization. “Ugh, too bad you aren’t a real cop. I’ve always wanted to go for a joyride.”

You don’t know how, but it seems like you’ve just noticed the police car behind the man a few feet away. He holds up keys and presses a button before the lights flash.

You gasp. “Oh shit! Even a fake cop car! Wow, you’re dedicated to the whole officer persona… and I lost my striped hat…” you huff, “oh, I hope you don’t lose your car. If someone tries to take it, I’ll kill them.”

His eyes widen. “Okay, why don’t you stay here while I talk to your friends about getting you home?”

Your bottom lip trembles. “You’re gonna leave me here? All alone in the middle of a dark and scary street?” You exaggerate as if there isn’t a booming house party behind you. “I can’t protect myself, I’ll kill for you but I’m sensitive!”