#ex some of the character names and also really ?? comments about where people are from relative to the capital lol

[spock-adoodledoo]

apothecary diaries really feels like they just scrambled a bunch of chinese court dramas into a soup and made it in japanese

[freyito]

Hi! You asked for Aventurine requests among others, so I hope that you like this one? (Also, no pressure to accept this request! But thank you in advance for reading it <3) Could I maybe request Aventurine with an FTM!reader who dresses rather femininely? Reader can sometimes get rather insecure due to how people see him (either misgendering him or mocking him for being a trans man who still likes dressing femininely), so Aventurine comforts him and spoils him by getting him all the feminine clothing he likes. Idk, I thought it would be really sweet. I hope that request was coherent in any way. As I said, no pressure to do this if you aren't comfortable with it, but thank you so much in advance if you do! And thank you so much for writing fem readers, there's so little representation for us and it means the world to me <3

✧ a/n: if i had a nickel for everytime someone requested (one of) my comfort character(s) with an FtM reader who dresses femininely who gets a little insecure i'd have two nickels!!!! which isnt a lot but im soo happy it happened twice!!!!

fr tho thank you for this ask ehe.... healing my inner younger adult or sumn (shoutout to one of my exes who was super into femboys and completely killed my fashion sense) also idk where this name came from i just felt it. idk.

✭ pairing: aventurine x ftm reader

🗒 cw: ftm reader, dysphoria, comfort, this was written from the HEART, proofread

✎ wc:2.1k

ꜱᴛʀᴀᴡʙᴇʀʀʏ ꜱʜᴏʀᴛᴄᴀᴋᴇ

When you transitioned, you didn’t kill off your fashion, no, quite the opposite. It had never felt quite right to be called a girl, to be considered a woman. The clothes you wore had nothing to do with it, you were sure. Still, for a little bit after your public transition, you tried to dress more “traditionally masculine”, but it was only when you started wearing dresses and skirts and anything perceived as “feminine” that you felt truly at ease.

It was also around then that you got odd looks, and more mistakes and misgendering. Most of the time it was from strangers, so you chose to ignore it. It had no real effect on you since they were strangers, and their own opinions didn’t matter to you.

In doing this, you gained confidence, not that you didn’t have any before. You were simply presenting yourself how you liked, and you didn’t give a damn about who saw you as what. This confidence is what drew Aventurine’s attention to you, he quite enjoyed your slight flair for the dramatic, how ethereal you looked in certain dresses, and all around… you. He had never really fallen for someone as hard as he fell for you.

He pampers you as is, of course. Anything you want is yours, perhaps even three times over. No time to even say ‘I want’ or ‘I would like’, it’s yours. Especially clothes. He’s a bit of a fashionista himself, after all. You see a pretty dress you like? He’s buying it, and maybe a suit to match. Even a ball gown, something a little too formal for every-day wear? Don’t worry, he’ll find a reason to wear it.

Aventurine finds you pretty handsome any day of the week, even on your worst days, your most dysphoric days, where you want to do nothing but lie down in bed, dressed only in a massive t-shirt and boxers, unable to tame your disheveled looks. Which, those days seem to be becoming more and more frequent.

It had been quite a while since you two started dating, and you yourself knew dating one of the Ten Stonehearts would put some direct attention onto you. He wasn’t necessarily a celebrity, but of course paparazzi fled to him like flies to honey. And with that, you end up in the crossfire.

You do your best to ignore it, even when pictures of you and Aventurine end up on social media, even when the posts shift from referring to you as his ‘partner’, to his ‘girlfriend’, even when the comments referred to you as his girlfriend from the start. You shouldn’t let it get to you, you tell yourself, they’re just strangers is all, and they have no real connection to you. And yet, you can’t help but keep scrolling through those comments.

‘She’s so lucky!!’

‘I wish I was his girlfriend’

‘why can’t i be her :(‘

‘i’d give anything to be his GIRL’

Every little she, every little ‘girl’ gets to you. It cuts like knives, reopening old wounds you had forgotten about. Those words take root in your heart and you withdraw into yourself. Aventurine had been out on a… business trip, and you were left to wallow in your own dysphoric hell by yourself. Simply staring into your closet makes you feel sick, not even the clothes, but knowing that this is what you wore, and that is simply how people will perceive you from then on, his girlfriend. It hurts, dammit.

Despite the sickening pit forming in your stomach, you can't help but continue to scroll through the comments. Very few know of you, given your limited social media presence, even if Aventurine had tagged you in a couple posts of his own and even referred to you as his boyfriend. The few comments that mention you that do refer to you properly do not wash out just how many more had all sunk their fangs into the word ‘she’.

You finally pry your phone away from your eyes, turning it off and putting it face down as you bury your head into the plush pillows beneath you. You want to scream, to cry, but ultimately you are left with silence. Which turns out to be even worse, stuck with your thoughts that take hold and rip any semblance of confidence you had. Those words sink even deeper into your very bones, a reminder that you aren’t in the same leagues as a cis man, that perhaps you never will be. And then, the words ‘not a real boy’ start to rise. And slowly, that voice becomes louder, and louder, and lou–

You are interrupted by the muffled chime of a video call, raising your head and simply staring at your phone for a couple more moments. You knew exactly who was calling you, of course, he was the only one you really video called these days. And now, you didn’t even know if you wanted to pick up the phone. To you, it meant looking at yourself, seeing a girl. Doesn’t matter how little your portrait was in the corner, you’d still be there, all the same.

As if it was instinct, however, you pick up your phone and accept the call. You feel as if you immediately regret this decision, watching as your face pops up half-hidden by the sheets of your unkempt bed, finally minimizing into the corner.

“Hey handsome,” Aventurine starts, flashing you a pretty smile. He was driving, eyes on the road (thankfully), but peering at the phone every now and then. “How’s your night going, hm?”

“Good.” You mumbled, doing your best to sound at the very least okay. Your voice is muffled by the sheets and rather heavy, groggy.

“Awh, did I wake you up? I’m sorry,” He coos, still not looking at his phone, which you thank whichever Aeon you have to for that. “Just missed you is all.”

“It’s okay,” You manage to squeak out, tracing over his features mentally. He himself seemed so tired, despite how hard he played the relaxed character, you could tell that whatever meeting he had just gotten out of didn’t necessarily go all that well. “I missed you, too.”

You can see Aventurine smile, but silence fills the space between you two. The faint rumbling of the car on the road is soothing in a way, not too loud but not too quiet, enough to keep your thoughts from drifting. Perhaps you really are tired, with how easy it feels to fall asleep at the moment. Perhaps you were just tired, and that’s why such words got to you… and yet, as you did your best to surrender to sleep, Aventurine’s voice pulled you right back into reality.

“Have you been crying?” He doesn’t even tiptoe around it. It seems he had finally parked, and he finally got a good look at you. 

“Uhm–” You hadn’t even known you were crying, it seems you were so hyper-focused on just how you looked too much of a woman, and how badly you just did not want to see yourself.

“Hey, hey, what happened?” You can’t really lie to Aventurine, he’s pretty damn perceptive and it’s a little scary. Not just that, but he tends to worry about you, considering his luck doesn’t affect you. Seeing as he’s a whole star system away, he has every right to worry.

“It’s fine,” You groan, readjusting in the bed and doing what you could to hide your face while still allowing him to see some of it. You know you can’t get your way out of it, but deflect nonetheless. “Life sucks, is all.”

Aventurine purses his lips and furrows his brows, before clicking his tongue and shaking his head. He lets it go, for now. “Well, whatever it is, I’ll be home in like… three days, okay?” His voice softens from his usual sly tone.

You utter a low effort ‘mhm’, unable to conjure up any other words or sounds. You can see the worry creep into his expression, and somehow, it makes you think of a horrible, wretched question in the face of things.

“Do you see me as a girl?”

He lets out a ‘huh?’ before the question fully processes in his head. “No! Not at all! Why would you think that?” He raises his voice slightly, not panicked but as if in a rush to soothe your mind.

“I dunno. Seems like everyone else sees me as your girlfriend.” You huff, tilting your head.

“Well that’s them. You’re my boyfriend.”

“But–”

“Nuh uh. You’re my boyfriend. You’re a boy. Nothing else. Unless you wanna be my Husband?”

Aventurine’s cheeky tone returned and it caused a blush to bloom across your cheeks. You’re more surprised by the question itself, rightfully so, and it felt like it came out of left field. He chuckles at your reaction, raising his eyebrows, before shaking his head.

“What makes you think that, love?” He continues on if he hadn’t said anything, his voice softening once more.

You still once more, shaking your head. You feel as if you’ve already answered the question– you did– but, there was more than just that. “‘Cause of how I dress… do you even like it? Like... all the dresses and skirts and stuff."

“Of course I do!” He answers so quickly, placing his hand over his chest as if he was offended. “You look stunning! No matter how you dress. Is it annoying you?”

“... No.”

“Then you shouldn’t worry, okay? I love you, you know that, right?”

You nod meagerly, unable to find words. His reassurance helps a lot, but it would still take you a couple days to shake it off. For now, you would keep away from social media– especially those that were dedicated to Aventurine– to keep your head clear.

“C’mon, say it back,” Aventurine coos, “Or else I’ll start to feel a little hurt.”

“Love you too.”

“I’ll settle,” He huffs, but still his voice takes on a gentler tone once more. “Now, I’ll see you soon, okay? And I have a lot of gifts for you.”

WIth that, you two say your goodnights, and he promises you once more that he sees you as a man, regardless of how you dress or how you feel. You felt lighter, for sure, and were quite anxious and excited for Aventurine to come home. And the next days go by painfully slow, your mood dipping and rising equally, and yet, you were able to keep away from the same comments that had tanked your comfort within your body.

When Aventurine comes back home though, his arms are practically full of all sorts of boxes, jewelry boxes, and bags stuffed with Qilpoth knows how many clothes. He had to have someone help him bring his own luggage back to your apartment. He’s practically beaming, the fact that his gifts take up the entire couch was like an achievement for him. He showers you in kisses and praises and ‘I love you’s before he allows you to open his gifts.

He’s brought home almost an entire closet, pretty dresses, some rather formal, and even a ball gown, suits, as well, and a bunch of necklaces, bracelets, and rings. Many are adorned with gemstones, and most of those are aventurine stones. ‘For good luck’, he says, as if he didn’t know exactly what he was doing.

One gift, however, stands out among the rest. It isn’t big and poofy, it doesn’t shine, nor is it considered… formal. It’s a simple sundress, covered in floral designs, the material was light and airy. It’s beautiful as is, quite striking in its simplicity considering Aventurine’s fashion sense.

“It’s starting to get warm, y’know?” He shrugs, as you stare at it, running your thumb along the hem of its sleeves. “Wanted you to have something to wear, something pretty– not that the rest of your clothes aren’t pretty, but…”

As he stumbles over his words, you look at him and pull him into a kiss, one that isn’t quite heated, but rather tender and soft. When you pull away, there are practically stars in his eyes, and it seems you’ve soothed his own mind. Yet, his face is burning up, practically bright red as he looks away and clears his throat.

“Ahem… just wanted to, uh, let you know how pretty you are,” His voice shakes ever so slightly, as if a kiss was more bold than him proposing marriage. “And I wanted you to flaunt it.”

© freyito, 2024 | masterlist | queue | kofi | star header by roseschoices DO NOT REPOST AS YOUR OWN OR USE FOR AI/AI CHATBOTS.

[twomiddlefingersforthehaters]

Kishi shows us that everyone in the Narutoverse somehow understands the feelings between Naruto and Sasuke, that the two of them are somehow connected, and that the two have some influence on each other and If something happens to one of them, the other will react in an extreme way. Kishi used his other characters to point this out and make us pay more attention to Naruto & Sasuke.

A scene where Sakura and the others are doubting of Naruto and Sasuke's feelings for each other is something Kishi can't do directly. Otherwise, it would cause a lot of trouble, and it would confirm that there really is something going on between the two. readers are already confused and complaining about it without even those scene. But at least some readers finally see the gay and understand the narrative.

1. HAKU

Sasuke exposed his weakness (Naruto) in front of a enemy. Observing every move to avoid serious injury and forced to awaken his Sharingan to protect Naruto, of course Haku was watching him and absolutely found his weakness and used it against him. Haku knows if Naruto is used the fight will be over because Sasuke would jump in front of Naruto to save him.

2. OROCHIMARU

• Orochimaru recognizes the impact Naruto has on Sasuke's says a lot! He wanted to separate them immediately....if Sasuke ran away from his goal of becoming strong and risked his life for 'Naruto'....it would have hindered his plan.

• Also, when Orochimaru deliberately emphasized, “MySasuke-kun”… With this comment, Naruto's anger finally reached its peak and got insane to the point of sprouting 4 tails.

Some Native speakers reactions to Naruto's “ Don't say Sasuke's name in front of me like he's yours”

1. “You snap(get angry) there? Well, How should I say it?...Isn't that a little off? ”

2. “It was around the Sai arc that people started calling Naruto homosexual”

3. “ I think it would be much better without this -> "In front of me" ”

4. “He had been angry for a long time, but I got the impression that he lost his temper over this comment ”

5. “This line from Naruto is incomprehensible and scary, but I don't think it would be so strange if Itachi (or even Fugaku) said something similar and got angry at Orochimaru”

6. “Regardless of whether Naruto's anger and how he expressed it were justified or not, if you consider that Naruto is gay and in love with Sasuke, then it's an understandable emotion”

7.“ Even if the subject is a love interest, I'm still saying it's a strange line.”

@reply: “I don't agree with it, but I think there are ex-boyfriends who are so possessive in real life too.”

8. “That's weird for a shounen manga protagonist”

9. “Does that mean Kishimoto-sama knowingly making Naruto sick? Or was it that he wanted to emphasize, both inside and outside the work, that Sasuke is special to Naruto and that it is difficult for others to understand or interfere in their relationship?”

The word used by the said person was 病ませていた｡ Its dictionary form is 「病む (やむ)」 which means "to suffer from some disease/ illness/sickness". 「病ま」 is the imperfect form and 「せる」 is a causative auxiliary verb. So 「病ませる」 means "to make someone sick". 「病ませた」 is its past form. 「病ませてい た」 is its past progressive form.

10. “The Nine Tails' tail is gross, the lines are terrible, he has too many tantrums, he says Sasuke too much, etc.”

11. “If he was gay, would that explain it...? Doesn't that mean he has romantic feelings for Sasuke after all?”

12. “Even though you took the trouble to change the lines between the magazine and the book, you didn't delete "in front of me," Kishimoto-sama, You're particular about that”

[when publishing a book, changes may be made to the version published in the magazine (Weekly Shōnen Jump).]

@reply: “The fact that he sometimes fix things and sometimes doesn't it shows that Kishimoto-sama is aware of his abnormality is quietly frightening”

13.“At first glance, he's a bright, friendly Jump protagonist, but as soon as Sasuke gets involved, things get weird. That's what makes him unique and interesting.”

• Sensing Naruto's chakra, Sasuke quickly ordered to lead the way. As usual Orochimaru does not failed to notice the sudden mood changes in Sasuke.

• Sasuke was watching Naruto when Obito taunting and provoking him and he was crying when Obito sucked everyones's chakra. And of course Orochimaru noticed that Sasuke seems to be in a bad mood.

3. PAKKUN

Pakkun emphasizes Sasuke's attempt to protect Naruto despite in his bad condition.

4. KABUTO

5. KAKASHI

It's conon Sasuke is Naruto's Driving force and he's the one making Naruto stronger and stronger...

This panel shows that even other people, like Kakashi, can see that Naruto is really working so hard for Sasuke. Because Naruto, personally, believes in Sasuke and wants to save him.

6. ITACHI

When Itachi visited the village to kidnap Naruto after Hiruzen's death...Sasuke came between them. And Itachi noticed the way Naruto was so furious to draw Kyuubi chakra to protect Sasuke. Maybe that's why he came to this conclusion and asked Naruto “can you choose between Sasuke and Konoha? ”

7. SAI, PAIN & RAIKAGE

• Sai questioning “Why does that naruto still care/concerned about sasuke or why does he feel strongly about Sasuke despite he betrayed and hurted him?”

• Sasuke stated in their first fight that Naruto would never be able to understand him because he never had anyone in the first place no family no siblings, he was always alone. Now, Pain fixed that problem by nuked the village and pretty much murdered everyone. After the fight, Naruto recollects what Sasuke said in Vote 1 and what pain told him. Naruto realizes that he was wrong to think he knew what Sasuke was going through without having experienced something similar to what Sasuke did. After the death of jiraiya he understand a bit about wanting to avenge your important ones' death and how much it devour you. He now realized that it wasn't realistic that he thought he could get through to Sasuke without understanding his feelings and pain. That's why he says he understands Sasuke in this arc.

• this not considered friendship in the Shinobi world

(he's begging on his knees to spare sasuke's life but he's threatening cloud its so funny)

8. TOBIRAMA

In the Land of Waves arc, when they were only 12 years old, they could team up together without any direct communication. We know that the last time they fought together was 4 years ago, even then they could team up together without any direct communication.

9. KURAMA

• Sasuke couldn't even handle Naruto losing his arms despite he himself had lost one. How would he react when he sees Naruto dead in front of his eyes???? Those expression and his lines before proves that Sasuke may have had his mind set on killing Naruto. But the reality is that if that happens, his heart could not handle it. Kishi used Kurama to foreshadow this.

• Naruto gives kurama an extreme Glare when kurama lectures him about how he's never been able to do anything for Sasuke. And later in the war arc Naruto flashbacked about Sasuke and showed everyone that he regrets not reaching out to Sasuke back then when they were kids, even though he wanted to reach out to him.

• It's such an unnecessary scene, but Kishi brings up the kiss again lol. As usual, Naruto reacted very dramatically.

He had the same reaction when he accidentally kissed Sasuke in chapter 3, after which he quickly went to Sakura to verify his feelings and it didn't take him long to realize that he loves Sasuke. Kishi's deliberate thoughts and plans in that chapter screams “Naruto might be a Gay boy who wants to deny it really hard ”

Otherwise, Kishimoto literally didn't have to do any of this!!

10. EBISU

It's from the Pain arc, where Ebisu Sensei remembers Naruto's growth. From everyone calling him a 狐のガキ = kitsune no gaki = fox brat Or a "Kyuubi kid" to actually calling him by his real name “Naruto”.

[ガキ: in a rough way to say, which has negative nuance. This word comes from Buddhism monsters "餓鬼(がき)= gaki" born in the hell, which devour foods. There are people who call their children "gaki," but I don't think they mean it in a bad way. However, as a listener, it leaves a bad impression. The word "gaki" can also be used in a negative sense to describe a childish or immature person. ]

The memories begin with the people of Konoha hating him, and later the people of Konoha praise Naruto for stopping Gaara from attacking Konoha, and for bringing Tsunade in as the 5th Hokage.

When Jiraiya died the villagers says, “Is Naruto okay? He will not lose his heart, he will keep looking forward". Before that this panel appears when it comes to Sasuke. Even the people of Konoha felt that Naruto would be depressed if Sasuke wasn't in Konoha with Naruto.

The word used here is 落ちこんで which means to be depressed; to feel down; to feel sad; to be in low spirits.

落ちこんで is the conjunctive form of 落ち込む and the particle で is added to express the state in which the action of ``depression'' is in progress.

e. g:

- 彼は失恋して、しばらく落ちこんでい た。

- kare wa shitsuren shite , shibaraku ochikondeita .

-He was heartbroken and depressed for a while.

- 仕事のストレスで、彼は毎日落ちこんで過ごしている。 - shigoto no sutoresu de , kare wa mainichi ochikonde sugoshiteiru.

-He feels depressed every day due to the stress of work.

[flowerandblood]

The Prince and The Fox (3)

[ modern! • Aemond x friend! • female ]

[ warnings: kissing, mention of sexual abuse, violence, trauma ]

[ description: After the events of her childhood, despite her best efforts, her neighbor and the younger brother of her friend Helaena, Aemond, does not want to know her. This state lasts until a house party organized by his older brother, Aegon, during which an incident occurs that will change their relationship forever. Slow burn, angst, toxic ex-Alys, rough Aemond. This is several anon requests combined into one fic. ]

WARNING: The main plot between the characters takes place in high school. Yes, in high school. The belief that teenagers wait with an intimacy when they are in love in high school is ridiculous to me. Aemond and the character here are the same age. Don't ask me how old they are, in my country you are of the age of consent in your first year of high school and an adult in the last year of high school, so if it is more convenient for you, think about it that way and decide for yourself. In this story, I am not following the trail that they are magically friends right away, but how they become friends and what that even means. I'm writing this fic to give the perspective of young, lost people, not adult women who want to see exactly themselves in everything they read. If that's all you expect, this isn't the fic for you.

I don't want whining about this in my comments or asks. I will delete these and block you. You have been warned. Aemond + Evans Series Moodboard

This is my first story that has its own playlist, but yes! Get in the mood! Story Music Playlist. Song used in this chapter: Don't Bring Me Down by Electric Light Orchestra.

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Next chapters: Masterlist

_____

From that day on, they both took off their earphones when they stood together at the bus stop. Her presence had apparently stopped being awkward for him and he had become addicted to listening to Kajagoogoo, although he admitted it reluctantly.

"They have a terrible band name, but that bass is fucking awesome. They got really into my head and it's good to listen to them in the background while doing something else at the same time." He muttered, without looking at her, scrolling something on his phone.

She knew this was his way of distracting himself from the stress of the conversation, that he wasn't good at it and pretended to be indifferent, his lips tightened.

Since the whole thing reached the headmaster of the school the matter became very serious and Cregan was not laughing anymore. The headmaster became very concerned about the whole situation and even though it was not the school where the sexual abuse took place, bullying did.

On the corridor cameras, Cregan could be seen knocking her over by propping her up with his leg, as one of his buddies scratched the word 'liar' with his key on her locker.

Although these were not crimes for which you could go to jail, the principal invited her to an interview accompanied by the school psychologist. The headmaster asked her if she wanted someone to accompany her during this talk and she said without thinking: Aemond.

She surprised him when she asked him to go with her to his office, he was the only one to witness it all and she was afraid to be there alone. He just nodded and answered nothing, clicking something on his phone, and she breathed a sigh of relief.

They went there together.

The director approached the matter with understanding and quoted to her what he had heard the day before from Aemond.

"Your colleague told me that he witnessed the incident and that there is video footage of what happened. I also know that Cregan's classmates nag you a lot because they prefer to believe him. The psychologist and I thought that, if you agree, we would give his class some shock therapy and show them the part of the video that shows him hurting you.

Of course, we will only do this if you agree, however, we believe that if Mr Stark loses his credibility, you will regain your composure and be able to focus on your education rather than the unpleasant incidents you continue to face from them. We know that the footage shows nothing of which you would be ashamed, nor of course your exposed body." He concluded, glancing uncertainly at the lady psychologist.

She didn't know what to say, she could feel her heart pounding hard.

"Think it over calmly. It's just a suggestion and you don't have to do it. We want to help you and we know it's hard for you." Said the psychologist in a soft, calm voice.

She looked apprehensively at Aemond, who was staring at her out of the corner of his eye with his lips tightened, himself clearly not sure what he was thinking.

"It's your decision. You don't have to do it. But I think this bugger deserves it. He walks around the school like a king, he thinks you don't have the guts to show it. That you'll be embarrassed when he's the one who should be ashamed of himself." He said lowly, and she thought with pain that he was right.

Why should he spread rumours about her, lie that she wanted this?

"Fine." She mumbled, the headmaster sighed quietly.

"Do you want to be there when we show them this?" He asked lowly, and she shook her head quickly.

"No."

She delivered an excerpt of the video to the director that next day. He and the lady psychologist watched it to make sure that the video would not portray her in a negative light and make matters worse, but what they saw left no illusions.

She knew that the headmaster would go to Cregan's class with the psychologist at their advisory class and throughout the day she felt like she was going to die, her whole body was trembling, she hadn't eaten anything and she was cold.

As she sat during one of the breaks outside the classroom, staring dully at the floor Aemond sat down next to her and sighed, taking out of his pocket her favourite chocolate bar, Milkyway, which he must have bought from the school vending machine. She looked at him gratefully and shook her head.

"Have you eaten anything today?" He asked lowly and she shook her head again, lowering her gaze.

"I won't swallow anything. My stomach has been hurting since this morning."

"Hmm."

They sat side by side like that, their shoulders and knees touching, not speaking until the bell rang announcing that the break was over.

They sat down to their benches, the teacher came in, but she couldn't concentrate on what he was saying, terrified.

Everyone was watching it now.

She covered her face with her hands, thinking that she had made a mistake, that it would get worse.

However, to her surprise, as she walked out of the classroom she was approached by several people from his class who had also thrown unpleasant comments at her earlier, including his buddy, who shouted to her and Aemond at the time whether they were going to go fuck.

They stood for a moment as if they didn't know what to say.

"Hi. We saw the video. I…fuck." Said the boy, scratching his brow with his thumb, pale, embarrassed, horrified. "I…I really believed him. I swear to you I would never have suspected he was capable of such a thing. When I watched you pull away from him and he wouldn't let you go…fuck, a red light should have lit up in my head earlier as he said he was going to fuck you, but I thought, I don't know, that's what you want, that you're into him, not that…"

He stammered, all red, she could see he was barely holding back tears. He shrugged his shoulders.

"And yet I acted like a stupid piece of shit to you. Then, after all of that. I believed my mate, I thought I knew him." He said without looking at her, his other colleagues nodding.

"We're ashamed. He walked around talking about it as if nothing had happened, as if it was just your imagination. He cried in class as the principal came in and said what he was going to show us. I think he realised he was going to lose a lot of friends."

She looked at them all with her heart beating hard, scared and ashamed at the same time, not knowing what she should say to them.

Most of all, however, she felt relieved.

They had finally left her alone.

If she could consider that something good had come out of all this, it was certainly her relationship with Aemond. They only talked on the bus or while waiting for him at the bus stop, usually about school, teachers, homework, or music.

He played her songs on his earphones when she asked him if he could recommend something new to her, however, he always listened to Kajagoogoo with her on the way to school.

She liked the fact that this had already become their routine, something they shared, proof that they had established a bond, this time unforced, desired from both sides.

She found to her surprise that he was actually a very sensitive, calm man.

She really liked him.

Helaena was very concerned about all that had happened, and wrote to her often to find out how she was feeling. She didn't want to impose on her and didn't visit her at home.

However, one day she asked if she would like to stay with her for the night and sleep in her room, talk about everything that was on her mind and then watch Shrek together or another cartoon they loved as children.

She thought it was a good idea.

She arrived at the appointed time in the evening, Alicent opened the door, smiling warmly and embracing her.

Since the situation with Cregan it seemed that their families had become closer, her parents were extremely grateful to Aemond for what he had done and always greeted him when they saw him on the street or in the shop, embarrassing him.

She saw Helaena run out from over her shoulder and wave to her, holding two bags of their favourite Chips and a carton of orange juice.

Walking towards the stairs she swallowed loudly as she saw the exit to the garden, feeling an unpleasant tightening in her pit and a cold sweat on her back.

She squealed when suddenly Vhagar ran out at them from upstairs, wagging her tail and barking, happy that they had a visitor, almost knocking her over.

"Vhagar!" She heard his impatient, low voice. "Come back here! Immediately."

Vhagar ran up to him, looking at him with her big, pleading black eyes, and he sighed as he stroked her fur. She smiled at him as she passed him, they threw each other a brief, shy 'hi' before she disappeared with Helaena into her room.

Although she didn't want to at first, she felt she had to get it out of her, that she couldn't take it anymore, that it was poisoning her from the inside.

They were both sitting in their pyjamas, T-shirts and shorts on her carpet, a bowl full of crisps and two glasses full of juice between them.

"At first when he touched my thigh I thought − gee, maybe he really likes me that much that he can't stop, I don't know. I felt, I sensed something was wrong and I'm mad that I didn't push him away then! I went outside with him because I thought maybe I don't know, he wants to sit with me in an embrace, stroke me, hold my hand, kiss me. And when he slipped his hand under my dress, when he squeezed me, when he wouldn't let me move or pull away I felt…" She stammered, feeling her voice break, her throat tighten, tears gather in her eyes.

"…God, I just felt that I was very afraid of him, that it was very bad and terrible, that I didn't want it, that he was hurting me, that it was such a bad touch, I don't know how to describe it." She mumbled, Helaena looking at her with her lips slightly parted, her eyebrows arched in pain, her light hair tied up in a bun.

"It felt like I couldn't breathe, it felt like I wanted to scream, like someone was skinning me, it's this feeling of sudden panic, but also something else, like deep in your lower abdomen, this all-consuming fear and terror, like the air is stuck in your throat and you can't catch your breath." She muttered quickly, shaking her head, refusing to let the tears flow, her lips tightening.

"I don't know how he can think it's nothing. To live with the fact that I asked him to stop and he didn't." She shrugged her shoulders, Helaena got up and sat beside her, embracing her, letting her lie on her thighs.

She burst into tears when she started to stroke her head, when she told her that it wasn't her fault and that no one blamed her, that just because she hadn't pushed him away at first didn't mean he had the right to do what he did, that he had done it deliberately and premeditatedly, that no meant no.

She shuddered and lifted her gaze when she heard movement near her room, as if someone had moved out of place, and then the quiet sound of a door opening and closing.

Was he listening to what she was talking about? Was he eavesdropping on them?

She pressed her lips together, lowering her head, feeling ashamed.

She said she would go to the toilet to bring herself to order, but in fact she went to his door, hearing from it the song he had shown her a few days before, 'Don't Bring Me Down' played by the Electric Light Orchestra.

She knocked loudly and heard that after a moment the music quieted, someone's footsteps on the other side.

He opened the door and looked at her in surprise, involuntarily glancing down at her bare legs and then at her face again, swallowing loudly.

"Were you eavesdropping?" She asked reproachfully.

He pressed his lips together, looking away.

"Yeah. I'm sorry." He said low with sincere regret. "I wanted to know how you were feeling. How you're coping with it."

"Can't you just ask me?" She said regretfully, looking at him with her eyebrows arched in pain, feeling the tears under her eyelids again, emotionally unhinged from what she had recounted.

He looked at her surprised, she could see that he was uncomfortable. He let out a loud breath.

"I'm not good at this. At talking. I didn't know if I should ask. Whether it was the right thing to do. I don't know what more I could say." He muttered, shrugging his shoulders, looking everywhere but at her.

"You can ask me anything you want. I trust you." She said softly, and he swallowed loudly, as if for some reason her words caused him pain, as if he wanted to say something more, as if he had something on the tip of his tongue.

She waited patiently for him to pull himself together, for him to think through what he wanted to say. He looked at her.

"I hated you all these years. I hated you because I saw you as a person who does everything for show. For show you baked me cakes to make you feel good about yourself, for show you came here and apologised to me, always loud, always first everywhere, you always had to have your opinion about everything." He said low and fast, and she felt the cold sweat on her back and the frighteningly strong pounding of her heart as she looked at him in disbelief.

"When I heard what Cregan said to his mates I thought I should warn you. To say: be careful, he's planning something more, he's talking about you to his mates as if you were an object. But I didn't. Because I didn't like you." He muttered and she saw his lower lip tremble, his healthy eye red, his breath hitched.

"If I told you, it wouldn't have happened. Do you know how I have you saved on my phone?" He asked in a trembling voice, a single tear running down his cheek.

"Foxy."

She felt tear after tear begin to run down her face, she drew in air loudly feeling tightness in her throat, she felt like someone was tearing her heart from the inside out, a strange, broken sound came from her chest.

"Please, hug me." She mumbled so pitifully that his face contorted in a grimace of pain and regret, he pulled her to him instantly and she clamped her hands on the material of his Tshirt, sobbing loudly, his arms wrapped around her tightly on each side.

"− I'm sorry −" He muttered in a low, hoarse, breaking voice. "− I'm sorry −"

She lifted her gaze to him, trying to catch her breath, and he lowered his head to look at her, their faces almost touching, their hot breaths surrounding their skin.

She felt something strange looking at him so closely, she thought he had a lovely eye colour, that he had fine cheekbones, a pleasing nose and forehead. Something changed in his gaze when he noticed that she glanced at his lips and found them surprisingly full, they looked soft, slightly parted in his accelerated breathing.

She felt his body tense up, felt his fingers clench tighter on her back. All she could hear was the loud pounding of her heart and their breaths, nothing more.

"− wanna kiss? −" She heard him whisper, as if it was a kind of casual proposal, as if he was asking her if she felt like eating something or going for a walk.

She swallowed loudly, glancing at him again, and simply nodded.

She didn't have time to take another breath and his warm, soft lips were already on hers, she felt his hand on the back of her neck which drew her close, making his job easier, he sighed as if with some kind of relief.

She had never suspected that kisses were so wet and sticky, so noisy, but she didn't want him to stop, so she stroked his scarred cheek with her hand, closing her eyes, mimicking his movements, brushing her lips against his with a loud click.

She tightened her second hand in his short, light hair, feeling the heat in her lower abdomen, feeling the pulsation between her thighs, his lips wonderfully soft, moist and firm, he brushed and sucked her fleshy skin, their breaths loud and drawn out.

"− fuck −" He growled out between one loud click of saliva and the next, panting along with her, their kisses increasingly deep, intimate, passionate and wet.

They pulled away from each other suddenly, breathing as if they had run a marathon, looking at each other in disbelief.

"− I − are you all right? −" He mumbled, his healthy eye wide open in panic.

She just nodded, feeling that she looked just like him. She moved away from him and he let her go immediately, running his hand over his mouth and chin in a gesture of disbelief.

"− I − fuck −" He muttered and they both gasped when they heard the sound of the door opening, Helaena leaned her head out, clearly worried that she hadn't been back for so long.

"− are you okay? −" She asked loudly, surprised, and she nodded, looking up at him with her heart pounding like mad, swallowing hard.

"− y-yes − I − I am coming −" She muttered and ran towards her, Helaena smiled at her and closed the door behind her.

She said she had already found Shrek online on her laptop and everything was ready to watch. She smiled and sat down on her bed next to her, trying to focus on what she was seeing, but her thoughts, as well as her heart, were with someone else, a few rooms away.

They kissed.

Good God.

An excellent start to a friendly relationship indeed.

_____

Aemond Taglist:

(bold means I couldn't tag you)

@its-actually-minicika @notnormalthings-blog @nikstrange @zenka69 @bellaisasleep @k-y-r-a-1 @g-cf2020 @melsunshine @opheliaas-stuff @chainsawsangel @iiamthehybrid @tinykryptonitewerewolf @namoreno @malfoytargaryen @qyburnsghost @aemondsdelight @persephonerinyes @fan-goddess @sweethoneyblossom1 @watercolorskyy @randomdragonfires @apollonshootafar @padfooteyes

[kitty-tea]

We’re all weird

Link to masterlist

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Reader (formerly)

Hi this is my first time writing something for Harry Potter. The idea for this plot’s kind of based off a dream I had which is why some stuff doesn’t make sense. Like the setting. I know every autistic person has a different experience, so I tried to write this as similar to my own experiences as I could. Also the story doesn’t follow the main timeline of the books or movies. I don’t own any characters except reader and the four first year students.

Whether the reader is diagnosed or not, it’s open to interpretation

Summary: After you catch Draco cheating on you, you’re forced to go to a school banquet. Unfortunately you can’t avoid anyone.

Tags/warnings: ableism, internalized ableism, name calling, reader has an emotional outburst, Dumbledore being confusing, reader is autistic, social isolation, bullying, teasing, Draco being mean, pure blood supremacy, mentions of cheating, angst

You looked around the venue for an empty table. You were one of the last people to arrive, so all the tables were taken. If only you hadn’t spent the last hour overthinking and dreading this event, you could have gotten ready and arrived a lot sooner instead of grabbing one of the last portkeys that were set up at the school.

The theme of the party was for the students to dress in their house colors. Being a Slytherin, you wore an off the shoulder emerald silk dress that went down to your feet, accentuated with a slit that showed off your entire left leg. You decided to keep your hair down to use as a curtain for your face as you always did as a way to avoid eye contact.

As your eyes scanned the rows of small tables lined along the room horizontally, they met the very reason you were dreading coming here. You spotted the group of Slytherins from your year, which included your ex-boyfriend Draco and his friends, Blaise, Crabbe, and Goyle. Draco had his arm around Pansy, who looked over to you, which drew the attention of everyone else at the table.

“Look, it’s Flappy-hands.” Even through all the people talking in the room, you managed to hear Pansy’s comment referring to your habit of flapping your hands when you were happy or excited about something.

You saw Goyle get up from his seat. He started to flap his hands while jumping up and down. Even though you had a harder time reading people’s intentions, you knew he

“I can’t believe I ever dated a freak like her.” Draco was telling his friends. “She brings shame to Slytherin. Would’ve been better off as a Hufflepuff.” He rolled his eyes.

“Only because she's a pure-blood, but that doesn’t mean they should let freaks like her into the Wizarding World.” Blaise said.

“Dumbledore only made her Head Girl because he felt sorry for her. He’s the only one too.” Pansy laughed.

You knew that wasn’t the case as evidenced by your several conversations with him. Dumbledore always knew you were different from other students even before you figured it out, it seemed. When you came to him to question what made you deserve this position, he said something about how he knew you were one of the rare people who would never abuse their position, and that the extra responsibilities would help you grow as a person.

“She really earned her place as Head Girl.” Crabbe smirked before adding, “she’s the Head of the freaks.”

You were in no place to cry at the moment. You wished you could be in one of your “safe rooms” around the school where no one would be around you to bother you.

A few tables in front of the seventh year Slytherins, you spotted the table with the Gryffindors from your year along with Ginny and Luna. Every time you saw Harry Potter with his friends, you couldn’t help but feel jealous. You didn’t know why. Maybe it was because of how well they all seem to belong together, except for when they got into fights but that was normal for any friend group. Everytime you’d pass by them, you’d think about how nice it would be to be friends with Harry, Ron, and Hermione. They might as well have been friends with every Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff too. They were welcoming towards students from other houses, except for yours which made you feel left out from the rest of the school. Especially during your fifth year when you found out Harry and his friends formed a secret group called Dumbledore’s Army, and hadn’t invited anyone from Slytherin. Not only was that group in on something you weren’t, but so were your former friends. You felt like a reject in the middle.

Your thoughts were consumed by the events of the past week and the course of your overall social life.

Everything from the day Draco asked you to be his girlfriend to that time you came back into the common room after patrolling the halls and saw him making out with Pansy on the couch invaded your memories. You were completely clueless to the fact that Draco had been flirting with you for the last two years, so it was a surprise to have him ask you out and call you beautiful. Everyone in your group could see how flirtatious he was except for you.

You had years of practice of holding in your tears when something emotional would randomly pop into your mind, this should be no different, you thought.

For as long as you’ve been in school, Draco, and all the other Slytherins from your year were the only people you’ve ever hung out with. Even though you hung out with that group for years, you always felt that there was something off, like you didn’t really belong, and they seemed to think that way too. It wasn’t until you broke off from them that the insults about your differences came at you unrestrained. They’d point out every little thing about you that they found odd, most of which were things you didn’t notice about yourself.

Before you became Head Girl when you used to share a dorm with the other girls, you’d catch them whispering to each other about the little odd things about you they would notice, like how you didn’t understand when you weren’t welcome into a conversation or how there were jokes and expressions you took seriously. You didn’t know how to stick up for yourself without crying, so all you could do was pretend to sleep by using your covers and pillow to muffle your sniffles.

It was a break from your routine after you cut them off where you were left completely lost and confused. You liked routines and order in your life. It was like having the rail of the stairs to hold onto for a long time and relying on it to get you through it, only for it to be snatched from you.

After you had caught your ex-boyfriend making out with Pansy, you used the disillusionment charm to sneak into your dorm where you cried. Not bothering to change out of your uniform, you hatched a plan to get revenge on Draco the next day, to humiliate him in front of the whole school. The plan was that you would intercept him in the courtyard after class and throw all your rage at him, then yell exactly what he’d done in front of everyone. What you didn’t plan was for him and his friends to laugh in your face as they told you that he’d been cheating on you with Pansy since a month into your relationship when he wanted to give up on “dating the freak.” You thought the other students from other houses around you would defend you, but with you being a Slytherin, you should’ve known that they’d keep quiet as you ran away since you were associated with that notorious group.

You were so in your thoughts that you didn’t pay attention to which table you sat yourself at.

“Hello.” You heard a small, high pitch voice from across you. As quickly as you turned to the owner of the voice, you looked down at your lap. It was a first-year Gryffindor student. Next to her was a Hufflepuff boy, also a first-year. It had just come to your attention that you, a seventh-year student, was sitting at a table full of first-years. To your left, you saw a Ravenclaw boy and to the opposite side of you, a Slytherin girl you didn’t recognize. You knew they were first years mostly because they were wearing their school uniforms instead of the fancy dresses and suits the older students were allowed to wear. You assumed the first-years had to show up in their uniforms so that the older students would be able to distinguish the ones who needed guidance more or something like that.

“Aren’t you the Head Girl?” The Gryffindor student asked you.

“Yeah.” You forced yourself to look into her eyes briefly before you spotted the staff table at the back of the room and looked down. You had come close to making eye contact with Draco’s father, Lucius. You should’ve known he’d be there. He was the governor of Hogwarts. Besides your former group, he was the person you were dreading to see for the rest of the night. You used your fingers to brush some hair in front of your face, hoping he wouldn’t see you.

“Why are you hiding your face?” The same girl sitting across from you asked. Shielding half of your face with your hand now, you looked up at her.

“There’s someone here I don’t want to see tonight.” You whispered.

“Who?” The same girl asked, not lowering her voice.

“There’s a man behind you. He’s sitting at the staff table. He’s the blonde man next to Professor Snape. His name is Lucius Malfoy. He’s my ex’s father and the Hogwarts governor.”

“Oh yeah,” the Slytherin girl sitting to your right piped up. “I’ve seen you around a lot with your friends.”

“They’re not my friends anymore.”

“Sorry, I forgot your name. We’re all first years. We don’t really know a lot of people at the school.” The Gryffindor girl said to you. After introducing yourself, they told you their names. The Gryffindor’s name was Melanie, the Slytherin’s name was Kayla, the Ravenclaw’s name was Stuart, and the Hufflepuff was named Owen.

“Why did you and your boyfriend break up?” Kayla asked you. You would’ve thought that she’d be more informed about your house’s gossip, but seeing as her friend told you that they didn’t know a lot of people, you deduced that the four of them mostly kept to each other for company more than students of their own houses.

“I caught him cheating on me with another girl from our house. It’s because they all think I’m weird. They’ve been calling me a freak.” You stopped yourself from saying more. You did not want to start crying.

“It’s okay we’re all weird here.” Melanie said.

“Yeah that’s why we have each other.” Stuart said.

You looked up at all four of them, smiling at their apparent welcomeness towards you. You quickly realized you shouldn’t have looked up again as you spotted Lucius and Snape having a separate conversation from the rest of their table, about you probably.

“I think they’re looking at us.” Stuart tapped on your shoulder. You flinched. “Sorry, do you not like being touched?”

“Don’t you?” You asked him.

“No, it’s fine I hug my friends and family all the time.” He smiled. “You’re like my cat. He hates being touched too.” You couldn’t understand how there were people who were okay with being touched, it felt smothering to you.

Stuart left the mostly one-sided conversation to dig into his plate which gave you time to eavesdrop on the one Lucius and Snape were having.

“I see your son’s ex-girlfriend has distanced herself from her usual friends.” You could hear Snape say even through all the noise of overlapping conversations around you.

As quickly as the two participants of the conversation looked over to you, you hung your head down for the umpteenth time that night.

After a while of you taking your eyes off them, you could feel two new presences behind you, and you didn’t like it at all. You were dreading the words you predicted would come out of Lucius’ mouth should he come into contact with you tonight.

It was Snape who spoke first instead. “If it isn’t the Head Girl, hanging out with the four troublemakers I have the delight of having as my students.”

“Good evening, sir.” It was the first sentence you heard Owen say since he told you his name.

You knew if you turned around you’d see the same scowl you’d grown familiar with seeing over the years.

“Aren’t you, an eighteen-year-old about to graduate, too old to be hanging out with first years? You won’t even be there for them next year.” Snape spoke to you.

With a shaky breath, you forced yourself to look into the eyes of the two men as you turned around in your chair.

Lucius put a hand on Snape’s shoulder. “If you recall our first meeting where I, a seventh year Head Boy befriended you, a first year, you wouldn’t be so harsh on her. She’s only doing for them what I did for you.” You were confused that your ex’s father was apparently defending you.

“I’m going off what happened.” He explained.

“You’re her ex’s dad aren’t you?” Owen turned to him with a raised eyebrow. That made Lucius’ attention snap away from you.

“Did you know your son cheated on her, that’s just mean.” Kayla said.

“How dare you disrespect your elders like that.” Snape clenched his fists. “I’ll be taking ten points from the five of you each. Such disgrace coming from my own house. Unbelievable.” He scoffed.

“That’s not fair.” Melanie argued.

“Does anyone want detention?” Snape warned and everyone at your table shut their mouths.

“I was not aware you and Draco were no longer together until your teacher mentioned it. I’m usually the first person who hears from him.” Lucius said to you. “Really disappointing how you turned out, given the pure blood family you come from.”

Throughout your relationship, you thought the less time you spent with Draco’s parents, the less likely they’ll come to find out about the part of you and your personality you were desperate to keep hidden from other wizards for the sake of you seeming normal to them. And now you knew Snape spilled everything to him, every single thing that made you different that he was able to pick off you.

“Will you stop acting like a child who was caught being naughty and look into the eyes of whomever is speaking to you? As I’ve told you over and over?” You had to suppress the urge to swat Snape’s hand away as he reached down to pull the curtain of hair hovering over half your face. Now, both of your eyes were on him. Even with makeup on, your face felt naked without your hair covering it.

“She doesn’t like it when people touch her, you know. She didn’t do anything wrong.” Kayla glared at him.

He pulled his hand away from you. “That is the second time you have disrespected me tonight.” He glared back at the younger girl.

“She’s just a child, it’s understandable to have the instinct to defend someone who’s unable to do it for themselves.” It hurt that Lucius was taking a jab at your inability to stand up for yourself, something he picked up on really quick. Why couldn’t you pick up things about other people like that?

Snape’s eyes were on you again. You used a trick Dumbledore taught you where you looked at people’s forehead or eyebrows whenever you’d get uncomfortable and overwhelmed with holding eye contact. You used that trick on Snape quite often.

“As someone who’s about to graduate, you should know that the real world won’t be as forgiving of your freakish nature as Professor Dumbledore or your little friends. You know how they treat werewolves and Squibs.”

“I know.” You spoke for the first time in the conversation. You were converting your anger towards how the world had treated you into courage to stand up for yourself. At least that’s how you thought of it “The whole school actually made sure of it when they made it clear I’m not welcome here with the rest of you people!”

You didn’t have much volume control or awareness, and you didn’t know most of the people in the room heard what you said until Snape and Lucius looked around themselves. Your eyes followed theirs. Everyone had halted their conversations.

You saw Draco slap his palm against his forehead, muttering “she’s so embarrassing.”

“So is his father.” Harry whispered to his friends. You heard him and his friends snicker, but Draco didn’t.

“Yes, Draco and Harry. Your father and I are an embarrassment to Slytherin! Whatever!” You snapped at them. “Everyone should go ahead and tell each other how much of a loser I am too!” Your voice started to tremble and so did the tear running down your cheek. “About how I’ve never been truly welcomed in any of you all’s friend groups.”

“If I’d been sorted into Slytherin I would’ve known just how mental she is. Almost feel sorry for Malfoy. And I thought you were the mental one at first, Hermione.” You heard another snide whisper, this time from Ron.

“We’ll maybe if you and the whole school weren’t so closed off in your anti-Slytherin world you would’ve gotten to know me as a person and exactly how mental you think I am or am not!” You shouted at him. He flinched back in his chair. Even though he and the whole school had seen your meltdowns, this was the first time he was the subject of it.

“She’s right. If only Potter’s little friends and us ever got together, then we could all agree and talk about how weird she is.” Draco said and you took a step forward, but Snape grabbed your arm, holding you back.

“Enough!” He yelled harshly enough for Ron to sink into his chair even further.

“Severus, trust me you’ll want to lay your hand off her.” Dumbledore stood up from the staff table and walked over to you.

You didn’t think he sounded mad, but you couldn’t tell most of the time.

Snape let go of you.

“Everyone, you may go back to your previous social engagements.” Dumbledore addressed the whole room.

“Albus, she needs to be disciplined more harshly than the others. I just know she does. Look at the example she’s setting for the younger students.” Snape said to Dumbledore as soon as everyone else started to mind their own businesses.

“I’ll take care of it.” He said and looked over at you. Without any words of objection, Snape and Lucius resumed their places at the staff table, not looking back at the four students that were just talking to them. “I’d like to speak to you alone. This way.” Dumbledore said gently.

You were too ashamed of the way you acted to do anything but nod your head as you followed him on shaky legs to the entrance hall outside the room. You hated how you couldn’t seem to keep your emotions in check as much as everyone else did. It was something that other people would notice about you and call you out as being weak.

As soon as you were alone with Dumbledore, the sobs you held in exploded. “I’m so sorry, I know you’re angry with me. Blaise was right about me being a freak and how I don’t deserve a place in the Wizarding World. And Pansy said you only made me Head Girl because of pity. I tried so hard to be normal, but I can’t.”

Throughout your rambling and sobbing, Dumbledore didn’t interrupt you. Another way Dumbledore treated you different from how the adults treated you was that instead of interrupting you or trying to finish your sentences when you got stuck, he patiently waited for you to finish them yourself.

“I think Snape knows. He knows how… how much I’m not like the others. Please don’t tell him you know too. I can’t have him be… he can’t find out. He thinks something’s off about me. And he hates me for it. He’s ashamed of me and so am I.”

“I see.” Dumbledore said quietly, folding his hands in front of him. “And while I’ll respect your decision to keep some things about yourself private, I can only tell you it’s not something to do lightly.”

“What do you mean?” You were always confused when Dumbledore gave you advice in a cryptic way.

“Let’s just say one can only keep a house made up of mud for so long before it starts raining profusely.” You still didn’t understand the sayings he’d throw at you. You’d always get frustrated with figurative expressions. Why couldn’t people say exactly word for word what they mean?

“Why would I need to build a house with mud? We don’t live in that type of climate. Bricks would be easier to access where my family is from.” Dumbledore chuckled. If someone laughed at something you said it was because they were making fun of you. Dumbledore was the only person you trusted enough to know that wasn’t his intention.

“I can’t be angry with you for the person you are.” Dumbledore brought the topic back to where it was before. “When I was in school, I remember thinking everything I would learn in the classroom and the books would prepare me for what was to come in the real world. I was wrong. The best teachers are often our own experiences. And I think you and your classmates will share those same thoughts after graduating.”

“Thank you, sir.” You said. “I’ll um, get back to the party.”

“Oh, and one last thing.” Dumbledore said as you turned you were about to turn your back. “Before you leave school, I want you to always remember that you should never be ashamed to be who you are.”

“What if people don’t like me for who I am? That’s always the case.” You interjected. Even if you found people who cared for you and accepted you, you didn’t think you’d be able to do it for yourself.

“Which is why I said you should never be ashamed of yourself for your differences.” Dumbledore answered before telling you to go back into the room. You were left wondering if other people thought Dumbledore was just as much of a confusing person as you did.

-

Let me know what you think!

[knightinink]

Blitzo & Fizzarolli: Some Character Analysis

I've been thinking about this ever since ep7 came out, & the scene of a teenage Blitzo & Fizzarolli walking home after the Mammon concert has revealed a part of their relationship dynamic when they were younger.

Wherever Blitzo goes, Fizz will follow, & Blitzo protects him from danger.

Just from watching them, it's apparent to me that between the two of them, Fizz is a lot more self-conscious & sensitive than Blitzo is, and is a more "wears his heart on his sleeve" type of person. Fizz strikes me as someone who would want to help someone if he could, even if it makes him uncomfortable (ex: the fizz-bots Mammon wanted). Fizz could very easily get himself stuck in situations he doesn't particularly want to be in, as he doesn't stick up for himself.

One reason he & Blitzo go together so well is because Blitzo does, & we've seen that during their interaction with Creepzo. Fizz is immediately uncomfortable & Blitzo notices, & he starts threatening the guy to beat it or he's gonna make him swallow his fangs. But Fizz doesn't pull away, clearly not wanting this interaction to be happening right now, but it's like he doesn't know how to say "no", and eventually just ends it with "We have to go now, thanks though!" in a falsely-polite tone.

I LOVE this next short scene because of Fizz's body language.

Fizz is still hunched inwards & hugging himself, clearly uncomfortable & attempting to self-soothe, but he looks back at the guy as he forlornly screams his name. This gives me the impression that Fizz feels bad for making the guy upset, and even though he was being a massive creep, Fizz would've possibly turned back to apologize & would work something out with the guy to make him feel better (i.e. what I think happened with both Cash & Mammon, as both are manipulative to get what they want & Blitzo wasn't there to stop them).

But when he looked back at Blitzo & noticed he hadn't stopped walking, he quickly kept by him, as if seeing his best friend ignore the guy snapped him out of what would've been a very dangerous decision, & Fizz kept going.

& we see that Blitzo's instincts were correct to get Fizz out of there, because as soon as he leaves, Creepzo drops the sad act & starts angrily hurling insults at Fizz, showing his true nature.

"Fine, fuck you! You think you're better than me you elitist prick? Your act's fucking trash anyways!"

& while this comment clearly upsets Fizz, he keeps on following Blitzo away from the danger, trusting the other imp to keep him safe. Once they're away from the immediate threat, it's time for Blitzo to do damage control.

We can tell from Fizz's body language that, even though he's this successful & renowned circus performer, he's still really self-conscious & doesn't think he's as good as he is. He's been working to get where he is for practically his entire life, & still it only takes one person's nasty comment to bring him crashing down.

"What if my acts are trash? What if I'm never good enough?"

"Hey, don't let one asshole get to you, okay? You are plenty good enough!"

Blitzo isn't just saying that to make Fizz feel better in the moment, he's saying it because he genuinely means it, & he knows just how good the other imp is at what he does, even if he doesn't see it. Blitzo cares so much about Fizzarolli, & hates seeing him upset, which is why his next instinct after the danger is gone is to comfort & reassure him.

I think that, as a teenager himself, Blitzo is also self-conscious to a degree (& we see him spiral into his self-hatred tendencies as an adult & that had to start somewhere), but he's much better at concealing it than Fizz is. We know people's opinion of him (aka. Cash) & how Creepzo didn't acknowledge him as a performer at the same circus Fizz works for, so it's assumed that people know he isn't as good as Fizz is. And while it hurts him, Blitzo has been toughened by the world in a different way than Fizz has, hence why he reacts the way he does.

They were both forced to grow up too fast, being circus performers from their childhood & in their teenage years & being hardened by the world comes with that, but it affected Blitzo & Fizz differently where Blitzo would rather give the cold-shoulder & tell people to fuck off while Fizz is much more emotionally-inclined & is more likely to give in against what he wants.

Blitzo puts his opinion of himself above others, but Fizz is the exact opposite, feeling like he constantly needs to prove himself to others & who's opinions really don't matter. Fizz craves validation & Blitzo wants him to see that no one's opinion matters but his own, & once Fizz can see himself for the amazing, talented individual he is, he will be happier & more confidant than he ever was before.

But, unfortunately, because they were separated, Fizz was manipulated by Mammon into doing things he didn't want to do, all because he felt like he needed to prove himself & that he was still good enough.

-

Thanks for reading this angst fest! Here's some happy Blitzo & Fizz for getting through to the end, to lift the mood a bit!

[nicoline1998enilocin]

''There's nothing wrong with her stutter!''

PAIRING | SEBASTIAN STAN x FEMALE!READER

WORD COUNT | 2.4K

SUMMARY | You get a job offering as a make-up artist for Marvel Studios, and quickly become great friends with Sebastian. He never cared about your stutter, and was always patient when you were talking to him. You grow really close, but when the paparazzi tries to hurt you, he is quick to shut them down in your defense.

WARNING(S) | Light swearing, a little angst in some spots.

A/N | Hi all! I decided to write this one-shot to show everyone who has a stutter and is struggling with it that it is completely normal, and you're absolutely perfect! A really good friend of mine struggles with it everyday, so I decided to share what it is like to live with someone who has it with their permission. I hope you will enjoy it!

Likes and reblogs will be very much appreciated 💜

Main Masterlist | Sebastian Stan Masterlist

Y/N still remembers the day she got the job offering to be a make-up artist with Marvel, it was such a big career move she even moved to New York City to be able to take it. Once she arrived on the set, she found out she would be the main make-up artist for both Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan, who she had both seen in a few movies before. The only thing that did really worry her, was the fact that she had a stutter, usually people didn't react to that all too well. Despite this, she decided to give this a chance because this could be the change she needed so bad in her life.

The first time you met both Sebastian and Chris was an absolute delight, they were incredibly nice. ''Hi g-g-guys, my n-name is Y/N, and I w-w-will be your makeup a-artist for now.'' you said, and your cheeks immediately turned a deep crimson color, and you really wished you could just run out of the make-up trailer and hide forever. ''Hey, I'm Sebastian!'' he said, and he decided not to comment on your stutter, he actually found it pretty cute. ''Hi, I'm Chris, it's really nice to meet you. I'm sorry and I don't mean to overstep, but do you have a stutter? It's completely fine if you do ofcourse!'' he asked, and you nodded, not wanting to embarrass yourself even more.

You did the boys' makeup and they were incredibly grateful, they asked all kinds of questions like where you are from, if you have siblings, stuff like that. ''W-w-well, I'm from a small t-t-town in Florida, w-where I lived with my ex b-b-boyfriend for a few years, and now I l-live here in New Y-York City, by myself. I s-s-sadly don't have siblings, but I h-h-have a three year old son n-named J-J-James.'' you said with a big smile on your face, thinking about your little boy. You don't see his dad anymore because he left after he found out you're pregnant, and he didn't want any of the responsibility.

''Want to know a little secret?'' Sebastian asked you, and you nodded. ''My character in these movies is also called James. I have a feeling this is completely meant to be!'' he said with a smirk and he let out a chuckle, you laughed as well. You have a feeling you would get really get along well with Sebastian, as well as Chris, because they both make you laugh and feel good, so you don't have to worry about your stutter. ''A-A-Allright guys, you're both ready. Have a good d-d-day on set today!'' you said and you started cleaning up your makeup kit for now, so you would have a clean space to work off of if they needed to be touched up.

The next few weeks were great, and you got to know both Chris and Sebastian pretty well, but there was this undeniable friendship between you and Sebastian. He never said anything about your stutter, but always carefully listened to what you had to say. He never interrupted or finished your sentences, which is something you absolutely hated, and it felt like a relief that he didn't do it. ''S-Seb? I want to say thank y-y-you for being so patient w-with me and my s-s-stutter. It is a r-r-relief that you don't interrupt me or fill in w-what I want to s-say.'' you say with a little flush on your cheeks. ''Ofcourse doll, I know how much it bothers you that people do that, but it doesn't take much effort to just be patient. Besides, I love hearing what you have to say!''

You were so grateful to hear him say that, it felt great to have someone in your life who didn't fill everything in for you, you can think and talk for yourself thank you very much. By the time the end of filming rolled around, you really got close with Sebastian, and you often ended up talking in his trailer for a little while before going home, where you talked about everything and nothing, the good and the bad. James was usually at daycare, but when he got very sick during the day, you had to go there in a hurry. By the time you got to your car you found it had a flat tire, and you didn't know what to do. ''Want me to drive you? I'm done shooting for today anyway!'' Sebastian offered and you happily agreed.

''Oh b-b-baby, what's going on? Are y-you okay?'' you asked James when you saw him. He was very pale and warm, definitely spiking a fever. ''He ate his lunch, but sadly he didn't keep it down and he got sick. He has been spiking a fever for a little bit, but it doesn't seem to go down. We're so sorry we had to call you out of your work!'' the lady at the daycare said, but you said it's fine. ''Hey buddy, are you feeling sick?'' Sebastian asked, looking worried at your son. He nodded slightly and he started crying, so you really had to go to the pharmacy and pick something up in order to bring down his fever. ''I'm s-s-sorry, but we really need t-t-to go now. H-Have a good day!'' you said. ''Yeah, you too and again, I'm so sorry!'' the lady said.

Both you and Sebastian hurried back to his car, you sat in the backseat this time, with James on your lap trying to comfort him a little bit. ''It's o-okay buddy, we'll get you s-something for your fever, and you'll f-f-feel better in no time!'' you said to him, softly stroking his cheek while giving soft kisses on his head. ''Sebastian w-w-will drive to the pharmacy and get you s-something to feel better, okay?'' you said, with tears welling up in your own eyes, because you hated to see him in this much distress, you absolutely despised seeing how bad he was feeling. Most of all, you hated the fact that you had to go through this alone, since your ex left you during the pregnancy.

Sebastian arrived at the pharmacy and went in after you told him what to get for James, so you could stay with him in the car. ''Here you go, James!'' he said when he came back, and he brought some of your favorite snacks as well, to make you feel a little better. He drove all three of you to your apartment, and you invited Sebastian in. ''Oh no, it's okay, really! I should really go, if I come with you I'll only be in the way of you taking care of this little guy.'' he said when he softly stroked James on his back with his big hand. ''It's okay S-Seb, really. I could use t-t-the company!'' and he agreed.

After a few hours you finally managed to get his fever down, and Sebastian was making dinner for the both of you so he was able to help. James didn't feel like eating yet, so you could always make him something simple later. ''Allright doll, dinners ready.'' he said, and he put down a delicious looking pasta salad, and your mouth started watering at the sight of it. ''Wow, i-it looks delicious!'' you say and you immediately put some on your plate. You realized you hadn't ate anything since breakfast, because it was hectic at work and when you got the call from the daycare, you completely forgot about lunch.

A few days later, you suddenly notice a lot of notifications on Twitter and Instagram, but you don't understand what it is all about. When you open Twitter, the first thing you see is '' Does Sebastian Stan have a new girlfriend? '' and you click on it. There are a couple of paparazzi photos of you, Sebastian and James from when he was sick, and Sebastian was there to help you both out. You get really nervous because of this, and decide to call Sebastian. ''Y/N? Is everything okay doll?'' he asked when he picked up after the second ring. ''S-S-Seb, have you seen the p-p-photos yet?'' you say and tears start to prick in your eyes. You were afraid that if he saw all the things they said, he didn't want to be friends anymore, you knew he didn't want a relationship for a while. Even though you were definitely not together, those thoughts still crossed your mind.

''Ah, you mean the ones where they say you're my girlfriend?'' he says with a sigh, he was hoping you wouldn't find out what the paparazzi said, since he knew how you felt about those people. ''It's okay doll, I have already put out a statement that I'm not in a relationship, but that we're just really great friends, that's all.'' he said, and you felt a bit relieved when he said that. You thank him and he asks how James is doing, since you had a few days off to take care of him. ''He's really d-d-doing great, and he has b-been asking about you! H-H-He wants to know where m-mommy's friend is, and asked i-i-if you wanted to come and p-play with him.'' you said with a smile, thinking about when James asked for Sebastian. ''Oh, I would absolutely love to come by later today. Is that okay? Maybe we can all go out to dinner together if he's feeling better!'' Sebastian suggested and you accepted his offer.

The three of you were on your way to dinner, and Sebastian got recognized by some fans who wanted to take a photo with him. He looked at you apologetically and asked if it was okay with you. ''Yeah, o-o-ofcourse!'' you said to him and stepped to the side with James, so you could give them space for a few photos. When the fans walked away you could hear them saying something about you stuttering, and you started to feel very self conscious again. ''Seb, m-m-maybe we should just reschedule. I'm s-sorry.'' you said, and James noticed the tears falling down your face. ''No mommy, no cyring! Mommy can't be sad!'' he said while wiping the tears away, which made you smile through the tears. ''Doll, it's okay. There's nothing to worry about, they don't know anything about you. If you want to go home that is okay and I will come with you, but if you still want to go to dinner I would love to go with the both of you.'' he said, holding your face in his hands. He gave you a kiss on the cheek to make you feel better, and you decided to go to dinner.

When it was time for the premier for Captain America: The First Avenger, Sebastian invited you to come along as his plus one. You gladly accepted, you could really use a night out for a change. The babysitter was more than happy to take care of your little bundle of joy, and you got to spend some quality time with Sebastian and the rest of the cast, who you've grown to love during the shooting of the movie. ''Hey Chris! H-how are you?'' you ask when you see Chris, you haven't seen him since the last day of shooting. ''I'm doing really great. I'm kind of nervous ofcourse, but I'll be fine! How are you and James doing?'' and you tell them about how we was sick a little while ago, but he is back to his old happy self now, and really growing up way too fast.

When it was time for the red carpet, Sebastian gently guided you there, and you both posed for some photos. ''Sebastian, how does it feel to have a girlfriend now?'' some people ask, and you are finally done with it. ''He's n-n-not my boyfriend! We're j-j-just really good friends!'' you say and you get angry, but instead of them stopping, they just started laughing and making fun of your stutter. ''Oh please, why would anyone listen to you? You can't even talk like a normal person!'' someone said, and this is what drove Sebastian over the edge this time. ''Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you? There's nothing wrong with her stutter! She can't do anything about it, and it makes her special! It's too bad assholes like you can't seem to get that into that small brain of yours!'' he yells at the guy, and he storms off the red carpet with you closely behind.

''S-S-SEB, WAIT!'' you say, only earning more laughs behind you. You start walking slower and tears are streaming down your face, Sebastian then stops when he hears you sobbing. ''Oh god doll, I'm so sorry for what just happened. I know how you feel right now, and I am so sorry that happened to you.'' he said, and he wrapped his big arms around you to comfort you. ''I-I-It's okay, I'm used to it.'' you say in between your sobs, but it still hurts that they make fun of your stutter. ''No doll, it's not okay, and someone had to set the record straight. I think you're absolutely perfect, and you didn't deserve that. No one deserves to be treated like that.'' he said in your hair whilst he kept holding and soothing you.

''I-I-I'm sorry. I should just go h-home...'' you say and you let go of Sebastian, but he doesn't want to hear any of it. ''Doll, how about we get you cleaned up in the bathroom real quick, and we will just enjoy the rest of the evening with our friends? You really deserve a night out, and those assholes can just fuck right off to where they came from!'' he said, earning a light chuckle from you. ''Okay, b-b-but you can't c-come into the bathroom w-with me!'' you say and the two of you make your way over there. Whilst you walk into the bathroom Sebastian goes to get you a glass of champagne and hands it to you when you walk out of the bathroom. ''T-t-thank you again, Seb. This m-means the world to m-m-me.'' you say and you give him another hug, and this time you give him a light kiss on his cheek, making him blush a little where your kiss just touched him. ''I love you, doll.'' he said. ''I l-l-love you too, S-Seb.''

[sofoulandfairaday]

heyyy i’m new to bellamort and i think they’ve become my otp already thanks to you,

what are your favourite recs? mostly sweet, however much they can be and some spicy ones.

thank you!!!

Anon, this comment made me GIGGLE like an idiot, huge grin on my face - thank you thank you thank you so much. This is the best compliment I’ve ever gotten! It literally means the world.

With that being said - and this goes for the other people in my inbox asking for recs - I’m not the best person to ask. Firstly, I don’t read that much fanfic (hi, med student running on virtually no sleep here) and I’m always behind on reviews (fanfiction is meant to be enjoyed from my laptop with a cup of tea and no one in the house so i can weep/shriek/pace etc). Secondly, I suck at keeping track of what I read.

Thirdly, your ask in particular is virtually impossible because I live for the grief. I lap up angst like a kitten does milk.

Sweetness… meh. (Except of course when I cry and moan about the fact that I need to stop reading for the day because a fanfic literally made my heart ache. I'm telling you, I suffer more for these two than I do my irl friends and that says something about me.)

Anyway, this is what I’ll do. I’ll link some of my favourite authors (in English, if you want Italian recs just ask and I will deliver) and I’ll leave you to browse their pages and see what speaks to you. These are just off the top of my head, and on Tumblr and around Ao3 (if you know how to filter), you'll find other great ones!

(If I forget someone, or if anyone who reads *is* a Bellamort author, feel free to tag them/yourself in this post, or in a reblog.)

@star-named-riddle - Nefaria_Black @saintsenara - Asenora @deslea - deslea (where are you, girl, I need you) Abigail Belle (ex Gamma Orionis) (see above) meanwhiletimely (see above) Also, there's this masterpiece by @metalomagnetic featuring Rodolphus which GHHHHHHHH. Is all I'll say. Screaming, crying, hollering, etc etc etc. (There's also this masterpiece by the same author but even looking it up to link it made me shake and I won't speak of it until I have processed my grief because I have people to see later in the day and I cannot be dazed or aching or in tears or shellshocked by the rawness of the writing etc etc etc)

And finally, the most recommended (and popular, I think) Bellamort fanfiction ever, which I admit I've never read in full (I know, I know, believe me when I say I have no time/mental fortitude) which is of course Surrogate.

They are all absolutely brilliant for reasons I wish I could get into right now (they deserve proper recs, this hasty reply does not do them justice). They all present different but equally fascinating versions of my characters.

Unfortunately, none of them are really saccharine/fluffy. There is softness but it's always bittersweet in most of them. WHICH IS HOW I LIKE IT MUAHAHHAA- coff coff.

Happy reading! :)

[the-nosy-neighbor]

Sunny

Information and speculation about a concept that Clown has made clear is no longer part of the project.

Notes gathered from Tumblr/Clown’s posts:

Was a bird character in early stages of development for WH.  Sunny was a brazilian (?) bird that was bilingual.  He was pictured with maracas.  

Sunny was dating Frank, which leads everyone to say that Sunny is Frank’s ex.

Sunny had a bright and friendly personality, and served as a foil to Wally.

Wally would have eventually murdered Sunny to hide his secrets.  

Clown stated that Sunny was created as a sort of hero character, but over time, Clown believed that the story shouldn’t have a hero. 

Sunny would save everyone by exposing Wally.  

Concept photos show Sunny on the phone, as a foil to Frank (opposites)

On the sticker sheet, Sunny’s name is upside down, which led my partner to turn the image upside down, which gives us a 9 instead of the 6 we were looking at.

Partner also mentioned that the other characters are holding their numbers, but Sunny’s is in his mouth.

We wondered if Sunny wasn’t going to be resurrected and become the 9th neighbor or a ghost or something, but Clown has been very insistent that Sunny is gone and no longer part of the project. (in light of conversations tonight, I might have been speculating about the wrong neighbor as a ghost)

Could Clown be throwing us off?

 “Some say Home is the 9th neighbor” some say because others say Sunny was the 9th neighbor?

Edit: the guestbook has a comment that says "where did the 9th neighbor go?"

But, there is a phone without an owner and it looks old and beat up (also, made of wood).  Could this be Sunny’s phone?  The phone/card illustration (opposites) shows him on a red phone, and he is #6, where Frank is 3 (also yellow).  

I’m not sure if the you’re free/i’m sorry graphic is Clown’s.  It really looks like their style and resembles art I have seen of Frank (insert image of Frank with female hands in front of him) and also Wally (hand coming out of his mouth)

You’re Sunny, You’re Free:  This image shows Sunny looking heroic, obviously behind some kind of door, with each character’s hands touching him.  Could be in fear, supplication, pushing?  The lightened image shows the many sets of eyes on this guy. 

Looks like the notes on Sunny's shirt

On the site, one of the first pictures in the roll was an ad for some Playfellow products, with a blank spot and letter write overs.  Let me tell you, from the beginning I have been obsessed with clarifying some of these images, and I have learned how to use photoshop way better as a result of my obsession:

When I first manipulated this image, I was convinced that there was some kind of Moon-headed guy there in the dark.  I could see a crescent moon shape.  I was convinced (and I wrote some about) that there was some kind of moon character to balance out Sally’s character, as there are sun and moon combos around.  

But when I really started thinking about Sunny, I looked at this and thought, not a crescent moon, a beak.  Sunny was pushed out of this ad, because he was pushed out of the show/reality/whatever.  Sally comes in as his replacement.  For the life of me, I can’t think of why Clown wouldn’t have just called the new character Sunny.  After all, she is the sun.  

This could all be wishful thinking because I really like this character.  When compared with the other characters, Sunny is fun and cool.  Plus, Sally is an actor who came in on a deus ex machina (fell from the sky, OK).  She is another kind of petty and weird character who just replaced this other guy, almost like an actor in a recast role.  

Sunny image/ad for fisher price people style toy.  The neighborhood exists and the children have seen it.

“The Neighborhood”; Sunny.  The Neighborhood’s happiest little blue bird flies in with a dance in his heart!  It’s like he’s really here!  So we’re going to get rid of it for good! We’re all going to get rid of it! we’re going to get rid of it for good! We’re all going to get rid of it! we’re going to get rid of it for good! We’re all going to get rid of it! we’re going to get rid of it for good! We’re all going to get rid of it! You’re  going to get rid of it for good! We’re all going to get rid of it! You’re  going to get rid of it for good! We’re all going to get rid of it!  You’re  going to get rid of it for good! We’re all going to get rid of it!

I think it is very possible that Sunny will make another appearance. Maybe he will only appear as a memory.  

[supernovaa-remnant]

I heard about this Shubble person recently, I stayed out of drama as much as I could but, what happened now??? You even wrote this in one of your tags "#I really did love him a lot (parasocially)". I was busy this week so I don't know what is happening now.

I highly recommend people watch Shubble’s vod on her twitch channel (I don’t have a link but I can’t imagine it’s that difficult to find). Be mindful though as the vod does talk about abuse which is a very triggering topic, so make sure to be taking care of yourself. I’m gonna put the rest of the post under the cut, so people can easily scroll past this if they want to.

As a little summary, Shubble streamed yesterday and talked about her abusive ex. She didn’t name anyone, but she also wasn’t hiding who it was, and contrary to what some people may say, a lot of the dots being connected are stuff we know from past streams and comments from friends and not leaked info.

So, the incredibly most likely case is that it was Wilbur. I’m not gonna get into everything Shelby said because she said it on her stream, but the signs do point to Wilbur, and you’d have to reach significantly further to claim she was talking about someone else. There’s not a lot of British male ccs who have a bigger audience than her who have a history of biting people and have reason to be going on long travels (tour) where they wouldn’t see each other often.

Listen. I was a certified dreambur blog, okay? Everyone who glanced in my direction knew that I was a Wilbur fan. Everyone knows that I loved him so fucking much. But that’s not an excuse to bury my head in the sand and ignore everything, y’know?

Anyway, this is gonna be the last time I talk abt this publicly (I’m sure my friends will hear more in DMs though sorry <3), so I’m gonna throw a bit more stuff here abt my blog going forward.

I will eventually talk abt c!wilbur again. I’m still gonna write my silly little c!dreambur aus, I’ve just put them on the back burner. regardless of cc actions, I genuinely do love so many of the characters on the dsmp. I’ll probably be focused on some other fics for a while, but c!wilbur’s my cat and I don’t think he’s leaving my brain soon. I just need a little time.

I think cc!wilbur is someone who needs help. and I genuinely do hope he gets that help. but having mental health struggles isn’t an excuse. and I just can’t see myself engaging in his content in the foreseeable future. you’re not gonna see me post neg about him. you’re just likely not gonna see me post anything about him at all.

I’m happy to know Shubble has an amazing support system. I’m so sorry she had to go through something so horrible. I’m wishing her nothing but the best, and everyone should check out her YouTube channel!! I haven’t watched her newest video yet, but I did watch Lizzie’s pov of the collab, so I know it’s a fun concept

If people have questions that this post doesn’t answer, then I’m happy to answer them in DMs, but I don’t wanna talk abt this publicly anymore. (I reserve a right to change my mind though if I for some reason feel the need to post abt it again)

Anyway, take care of yourselves. Love is never ever wasted, okay? And all that love belongs to you. And it’s always a good thing to put more love out into the world. Never feel guilty for loving, okay? 🫂

[acorrespondence]

☔ !!

☔ Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

Oh there absolute is and I was really hoping I’d get this one, thank you for sending it! The working title for this fic is “Six Places Wynn Duffy Might Be (But Probably Isn’t)” and it’s probably the most insane and cracky fic idea I’ve ever had—kind of inspired by Timothy Olyphant’s character in The Office—but I really really love it. It’s multimedia, and the basic premise is that Rachel sends Raylan a file with six different leads in it, all of them documenting the possible location and assumed identity of Wynn Duffy. Each lead is a crossover with a different other TV show. The first item is a transcript from Troy and Abed in the Morning, discussing whether or not the new security systems professor and women’s tennis coach at Greendale is actually some kind of disgraced/retired crime lord, based on the evidence that he made several strange comments: one a reference to the job not being exactly what he wants but “at least no one’s throwing bullets at me.”

The second is a town meeting transcript from Pawnee, Indiana discussing the presence of a new food truck run out of an RV called Win-a-Bagel, with some citizens concerned that it’s a scam and/or money-laundering scheme, while other residents argue that it’s not worth looking into and possibly jeopardizing their opportunity to win free bagels. The one after that is a transcript from a documentary about a paper company called Dunder Mifflin currently in production in Scranton, Pennsylvania; specifically, interviews with/about a new hire named Larry Mawkins, who according to his own reports was previously a very unpopular motivational speaker/life coach, until one day the lone member of his audience killed himself in the middle of the seminar. One colleague in particular, Dwight Schrute, has become convinced that it’s impossible for anyone to be that much of a general bore and total failure at life unless it was intentional to make people underestimate and dismiss him, leading to the theory that he’s on the run from either the cops or the mob. Their other colleagues weigh in on the realism and likelihood of this theory. However, Larry Mawkins has since disappeared without warning, having stopped showing up to work the day after a new hire named Danny Cordray joined the staff.

The next two were a lot more vague and sketchy and I was having trouble trying to find shows that Duffy-in-disguise would fit into. The one I got the farthest with would have been a newspaper article from Santa Barbara where Shawn Spencer claims that all of the houses in a recent string of “unconnected” robberies were in fact installed by the same man, despite all being from different companies. When police looked into it, they realized that none of the companies had been made aware of these installations. However, all the names used with the clients were fake names, so there was no way to track down the culprit, and the rash of robberies ended, leaving the case cold. After that, I had a couple ideas that I couldn’t figure out how to fit into the structure: either a loan shark or a rival banana stand owner (who possibly also sold drugs) in Arrested Development was one, and Darryl from Crazy Ex Girlfriend’s new boyfriend, whom everyone agrees is sketchy and probably a criminal, was another.

And then, of course, number six: an extreme (and therefore extremely blurry) zoom on the background of an image posted to Instagram, centered on someone who could possibly be Wynn Duffy, actually on a beach somewhere in Fiji—and lying in the sand next to him is a guy who looks suspiciously like Neal Caffrey ;)

(Ask Game here)

[kqluckity]

Did something happen with qsmptwt giving us a bad rep? I avoid that app like the plague

oh boy where do i start

the most recent stuff i think started when some dipshit over here was just. so fucking mean to tubbo and tubblings for no fucking reason? they were talking about how tubbo and tubblings ruined qsmp, how they all have a weird obsession (as if you don't need a weird obsession to enter a fandom?), and how they "can't wait for tubbo to leave the server for good", someone reposted a screenshot of said asshole's anon ask (because yeah. it was a coward who sent it on anon to someone else), and everyone over there started acting like we all agree with that person (we don't btw fuck that anon and fuck whoever agreed with them. tubblings get behind me!)

then, and it didn't start here but I'm adding it because it also spread here, cellbit's ex recently and out of the blue accused him of sa and people started hating him even more and being incredibly xenophobic (and i mean. more than they were already :/) to pretty much any and all brazilian qsmp fans (idk if i can find the thread i saw with the comments but... yeah they were awful) for supporting him. that forced cellbit to speak out and share his side of the story, which is honestly heartbreaking. all I'm going to say about it is: i read the whole document and it's fucking awful what he's had to go through constantly for all these years, and it sucks that he had to share some of the very personal things he had to share so people would believe him, i hope he really gets to heal from now.

^ this didn't really give us a bad rep I don't think? but it's another reason why some of us don't really like qsmptwt

and the last one I'm aware of is a lot less serious and more silly i guess? but I've seen people complain about the way we treat qbad (we're apparently too "comfortable" "breaking bad's boundaries" because of the pregnancy stuff)(even though we're talking about his character.) and I've seen people who dislike the fact that we use ship names (especially bagina) and complain about it like we're some awful people or something 🤷🏻

basically... it's a lot of stuff, i really hope this was exhaustive enough? i tried rereading what i wrote but I'm very tired, so if there is any grave error or something missing let me know and I'll correct it. tomorrow.

[stillhavetodothat]

Replaying Nancy Drew without Cheating - Part 7: The Haunted Carousel

Ah, yes, a game that I rarely even think about when considering the Nancy Drew universe as a whole. I didn’t even know Ingrid Corey’s name was Ingrid Corey when I first sat down to play this game. I didn’t remember Miles the Magnificent Memory Machine. In fact, this is having me question if I have ever actually finished the game in the first place, because aside from who the culprit was, I didn’t remember a thing about that ending. The last scene was just a lot of clicking around in blind hope, trying not to die. Unfortunately, this meant that I got to see a whole lot of this face.

Honestly, thank god I didn’t ever finish this one as a kid, because that face would have given me more nightmares than Joseph’s in FIN (and that already scared me shitless enough).

But anyway. CAR. And not cheating when playing it. I was able to move through the story pretty quickly, without getting stuck, until I had to play the harmonica for MtMM. I played those 6 notes over and over again, and he kept telling me to try again. I was getting ready to throw my laptop in a rage. Eventually when I went away, talked to some other people, and returned, I was able to replay the 6 notes and he finally accepted the answer. This had to have either been a bug, or it was set up in such a way that I couldn’t move on to solving the riddle unless I had had another conversation first? I don’t know. Either way, that was maybe the most frustrating moment in my entire journey so far, and the one I was most willing to risk my no-cheating streak for. BUT ALAS, I prevailed!

Some thoughts about this game:

1. Why does the location suck so bad? This game is about a theme park, but you can only go to a few attractions inside the park, a couple stuffy offices, and the butt-ugly hotel room across the street. Herein starts the trend of games where very little wandering takes place. Obviously other games have maps with marked locations on them, but they also have an entire museum, an entire soap opera set, or a huge forest and underground tunnels to explore. Idk, this game felt slightly claustrophobic to me for some reason. And I would have loved to be able to wander through the park itself to feel a little bit more immersed. Missed opportunity.

I will say that this hotel room captures the feel of New Jersey perfectly, though.

2. For a game whose namesake is a “haunted carousel,” we see very little haunting and honestly very little carousel. Half the game is running around solving convoluted riddles for a helpless Joy, and the other is doing Ingrid’s job for her, leaving very little time for much else.

3. Speaking of Ingrid, why on earth is an engineer asking me, an 18-year-old stranger, to fix circuitry and program software updates? And some of her passive aggressive comments (”It isn’t exactly rocket science,” “He’s not exactly a mechanical genius,” and “You can check in the binder if it’s too cryptic for you”) made her a VERY unpleasant suspect. Being a park engineer is YOUR job, girl, not mine. However, she IS the most beautiful suspect in the games so far. LOOK at her bone structure.

4. For some reason, I remember the burning-down-the-hotel thing as an explosion, where you get to see the entire hotel get engulfed in violent flames as you stand outside in horror. I mean, getting the call from Paula Santos is good and all, but it was disappointing when I was gearing up to see some serious destruction (I even left the iron on, on purpose, just to see it).

5. I felt like Nancy was particularly annoying in this game. She hears Harlan is an ex-con, and immediately tries to get him fired over it (extremely anti-woke of her...why have I never realized how terrible she really is?). Instead of ordering a soft drink with her burger, she ordered a tall glass of milk (barf). Half the time she pronounces carousel “carouSEL,” which irked me for no reason at all. Obviously Joy and Ingrid were battling for the Most Annoying Character award this game, but seems like Nancy decided to throw her hat in the ring, too.

6. I was about to shit all over Nancy for being a hude nerd and thinking finding a book on carousels was “cool,” but then I read it and was actually enthralled. I even read some tidbits of information to my fiance, and he was also fascinated, and even asked some follow-up questions (very detective of him!). So I will apologize to Nancy for that, but only that!

7. The first game where Nancy has a cell phone! Hilarious that she has to pull out her blank notepad and a pencil for every single impromptu call, but at least we are spared running back to a specific room just to make a phone call. AND, we get to answer phone calls in this game, too, not just make them! So futuristic.

8. This is also the first game where you have to actually get information from one of your regular phone contacts (Bess, George, Ned) in order to move forward in the game. I have been generally avoiding calling any of those contacts throughout these play-throughs, since it is mostly just recapping stuff I’ve already done. This left me racking my brain trying to remember where we are supposed to learn about shorthand to translate the Glory note, thinking it was in a book somewhere, when really it really required a phone call to Bess all along.

9. This is also the first playthrough of this game where I actually got to mention the Poppy Dada piece to Elliott, and hear him say that she thinks he is hot (she ain’t wrong). I love discovering new experiences in older games, and love when games make references to games that preceded them.

10. This picture of Mike DeSalle and K.J. Perris is the best part of the game, hands down. The hair! The mustache! The crossed eyes! The awkward holding of the jewelry!

11. Not to brag or anything, but I managed to beat Barnacle Blast the first time through. Not sure how this is even possible, since I have been dreading that very game since I started STFD. I must be getting more dexterous in my old age.

I know I just bitched about CAR for several paragraphs there, but I did enjoy playing it. The ending was actually really great, and it made sense when you think about other clues that were pointing to it the entire game (the fact that Elliott kept calling me “Nance” was suspicious on its own - you can never trust anyone who gets too friendly. See: Lisa, Joe). This is Nancy Drew, so any and every game is a treat for me. Even if I have complaints.

Never been so excited to get out of New Jersey. Onward and upwards to the PNW, and one of my favorite games of all time!

[jeffersonhairpie]

One of the YouTube comments of all time oh my GOD

Found on this video

[Image ID: A YouTube comment from user @sire-dame-sander It reads:

Image 1

as promised here in MY Insane Cats Fandom Story. formatting this greentext style bc it’d be fucking unreadable as a big block of text - be me - cats the musical fan, dumb teenager - in groupchat with several other cats the musical fans - our number one group activity is keeping up with this one fanfic, “the silver protector and me” - it’s 70k words of munkustrap x the author’s self insert oc - from the moment you pick TPSAM up it’s not great from a writing perspective but the further you read the more unhinged the plotlines get - everyone can shapeshift into normal cats with no explanation. the main character is french n everybody else is incredibly aroused by it. all the girl cats frequently body shame the main character for being too skinny. the love interest is abusive towards his son because he thinks he might be gay. there’s a bunch of sex slavery just like an insane amount - this isn’t really that alarming to us. obviously the author might sort of be goin through it but at the end of the day it’s just a fanfic - however. there is also an author’s note at the end of every chapter where the author (we’ll call her jazzie after her self insert) shares wayyyyy too much about her life - we learn a bunch through these. she’s british. she has a terrible ex. she loves the guy who’s she’s currently dating but he hates cats the musical. she’s been to cats the musical 115 times. she has a 7 year old son - she also links her instagram + tumblr. maybe this was a dick move of us but being teenagers we check them out - jazzie’s instagram is pretty normal other than the fact that everyone but her looks miserable in every photo - whatever. they might just have resting bitch face - jazzie’s tumblr is CRAZY - we discover that she’s been in several bona fide large scale scandals - you name it jazzie has posted it. most recently she��s gotten in trouble for comparing the traditional body modification of various unrelated african cultures to, and I quote, “dumb bimbos getting too much plastic surgery” - she’s also fighting on a daily basis with people who hate her fanfic over its various Issues, including one heated debate with an actual sex trafficking survivor - about a week after we start checking in on jazzie’s tumblr, she posts that she’s going to be taking a break n moving all her mutuals into a discord server - this server will also house the live drafting of new chapters of TPSAM - being idiot teenagers we decide we HAVE to get into this server to watch TPSAM get drafted live. its siren song is far too strong for morals to assuage us - in an attempt to gain mutualhood before jazzie leaves for good, I create my cishetsona - her name is abi n she’s a 17 year old girl living in indiana who loves only two things: cats the musical and her homophobic 23 year old fiancée who works in his dad’s garage - she’s a closet tuggoffelees shipper as well but she openly ships mistoffellees/victoria (which is for some reason the default straight ship in cats even though victoria canonically hooks up with plato. no I’m not sure why either) - abi begins participating in the cats the musical fandom by posting annoyingly heterosexual content - within one (1) week, this has gotten her into jazzie’s discord - a few of my co conspirators have played the same trick. there’s maybe four or five of us in there - inside this discord we are exposed to fandom drama we never even knew existed - jazzie frequently complains to the server about her current boyfriend. she hates how much he dislikes cats the musical, n hates even more that he’s always telling her to pay more attention to their kids (plural) instead of writing cats the musical sex slave fic - do you remember how I only mentioned the 7 year old son earlier. this is the first mention we hear of another kid - the next day something terrible happens

Image 2

- we MEET the other kid - he is 12 years old n he is a SERVER MODERATOR - this means he’s been fully privy to the active drafts of his mother’s super explicit cats the musical sex slave fanfic - apparently nobody on the server was aware this moderator was jazzie’s son either, because her genuine mutuals seem just as shocked as we do - at this point one of the real mutuals snaps n tells jazzie that while she loves TPSAM, kids shouldn’t be anywhere near it. a good half of the server enthusiastically agrees with this - jazzie takes this as a personal attack on her parenting abilities n the server fucking implodes - a couple days later the whole thing gets taken offline - abi gets a message from jazzie apologizing for the whole situation n thanking her for not attacking her like everyone else - I don’t have the energy left to tell her abi isn’t real, so abi says “thank you. it’s no problem” - there is brief discussion of reporting jazzie to some kind of authority, but we decide that’ll probably only make it worse for her kids, so we don’t - we figure she got the message to not involve her preteen son in the drafting of her sex slave fanfiction when all of her friends left her - TPSAM has not updated since. I really hope it’s because jazzie stopped neglecting her kids for it - it’s for the best she stopped. I hope her family is doing better now - but frankly I’m a bit sad we’ll never get lines like “can I cum in you?” “oui!” ever again

/End ID]

[plushie-sentai]

Tagged by @stickers-on-a-laptop ! Tysm!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Five! Not a lot atm but I used to write a lot on wattpad as well 😅

2. What is your AO3 word count?

11,227 words :P

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Tokusatsu! Namely Kamen Rider Build and King Ohger atm, but I also have a planned Ex-Aid fic (and some old my little pony fics I may move over from wattpad lmao)

4. What are your top five fics by Kudos?

Since I only have five, my top three are

Getting to Know the Boogeyman

Of Courtship & Coccinelles and

Red Looks Good on You

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Definitely Sento’s Wandering Mind, the whole thing is a vent piece and I heavily relate to Sento so it’s more of personal processing than anything lmao

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Of Courtship & Coccinelles! I write most stuff with fluffy endings but that one definitively ends on a bright note

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope!

9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?

I’ve written two smut pieces so far, which is a huge step for me personally for many reasons, but they’re both best match fics :3 one angst, one fun and sexy. Honestly I draw more of it than I write it lol

10. Do you write crossovers? I hate the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?

I’m not much for writing crossovers BUT the exaid fic I’ve had in the works for a while technically is one bc it’s hatsune Miku as a bugster lol

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Also no but would be neat :)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not on AO3 but I love bouncing ideas off of people and also working on characters together, esp mine and @chilipepperconverse ‘s KR OCs :3 actually I used to co-write with friends all the time in middle school when we wrote together.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Bonkers ass question but rn my answer would probably be Bravesnipe?? But I feel like there’s definitely ones I’m crazier abt out there. Maybe sonotaro…

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Unfortunately probably the Miku exaid fic ;-; the concept is fun and cute but with some stuff I get an outline or somethin cookin and then it never sees the light of day again

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I’m pretty good at detailed descriptions and visuals. I’m much more an artist than a writer, so I’ve spoken before about how I view my stories like written descriptions of story boards, and I absolutely love to try and paint a picture with my words.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

In my actual writing I’m unsure and would love to hear any feedback, but for me it’s actually just GETTINg myself to write. It takes a lot of mental energy to start the task and I can never really make myself do it, it’s only when I’m in a rare and intense mood for writing somethin that I’ve got a REALLY solid idea on. That’s mostly why I’ve got so few fics. I have more ideas, but it’s difficult to get myself to a point with any of them where I’ll actually write any of it out lol

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Personally I think it’s neat when other people do it, but unless it’s French I probably never will. Even then I’d be so nervous about getting it wrong I’d probably find some kinda work around

19. First fandom you wrote for?

On AO3 it’s King Ohger, but in reality…. Oh boy. Warriors fanfic abt my sonas when I was like 10? Outside of OCs my first canon-aligned fanfic was probably one of the my little pony ones on wattpad. I did mostly original character stuff when I wrote frequently as a tween so I guess I didn’t start with fanfic until like a year or two ago.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I only have a few so I’m proud of them all for different reasons, but I think Sento’s Wandering Mind is one that I’m particularly fond of even tho it didn’t do as well as the others. It’s conceptually something I’ve been trying to put into words for a long time, and it was my first foray into writing anything REMOTELY sexual, which was a huge jump for me that I’m very proud of as a person who previously struggled a lot more with “catholic shame” if I had to put a word to it. It’s kinda a heavy read and isn’t perfect, but the fact that it’s out in the world is important to me and I’m happy with it. Hope you all enjoy!!

Tagging @chilipepperconverse and @cantarella-rose and anyone else who’d like to participate! :3

[blackautmedia]

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love (Ganondorf please?) 🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love (Ganondorf please?)

Imani Barbarin aka Crutches and Spice. I honestly started learning so much about communication and writing from her and some of my favorite activist writing.

For Non-fiction, I'm still fairly new to fanfic sites where before I had dabbled in them on and off. I'll come back to you when I'm ten miles deep and can't get out the quicksand.

But now I really want a fanfiction that's written as Ganon writing a self-indulgent fanfic about himself as a story within a story. Could you imagine?

Ganon will also spend time as a leader ensuring the Gerudo have documented events of their battles and disagreements with Hyrule to so doesn't entirely control a propagandized event of what happened…and in his spare time he's also writing fics about himself.

I started an AO3 account because I wanted to get back into writing stories again, but I haven't found the time to finish one I had in mind.

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

Muhammad Ali is my dad…or so I like to joke.

My mother's career allowed her to meet a few celebrities when she was working. She has a photo of her and Muhammad Ali together and they look like a couple, so I have it on my phone and like to see if I can get away with convincing people that he's my dad before spilling the beans.

I shared it with a friend of mine who genuinely thought he was my dad even after I told him it was a joke, so…yay? I'm pretty tall if you see me in person (6'3-4 or about 191 cm tall) and about the same height as Ali, so it helps sell the illusion.

Part of the reason I also try to stay quiet about my personal life with most people is because some of my family members are publicly known people for different reasons and I don't want to draw any kind of social attention when I just want to be some TV/gaming nerd on in peace. I'm already very much a black sheep within my family, so it's fine if I stay in the unknown territory.

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

I have mobility! Life is fragile. Very fragile. It's easy to forget that, but I'm thankful I can still move about easily. I'm lucky that I can feel at relative peace in my body. I haven't felt that way for most of my life, so it's nice.

It's a combo of getting older and unmasking, but it's nice not being bothered by things that used to be a pain, to not care and move on. Whether it's work or a bothersome comment, it's much more tolerable. The ability to stop caring is a virtue.

I got a copy of Sonic Frontiers! I haven't had time to play any new games lately, but I'm looking forward to it. Little things.

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

This one is Ace Attorney related!

I don't love Miles Edgeworth. I don't think he's a poorly written character and there's a lot to enjoy, but I mean more I feel he doesn't bring as much energy and fun to the cast except when he has the right and very specific selection of characters to bounce off of.

I also wasn't really so wild about his friendship with Gumshoe because so much of it is just him insulting Gumshoe, constantly docking his pay or threatening his salary when he himself is obscenely wealthy and Gumshoe is dirt poor in a way that I never found that entertaining. As far as anime men go, I don't even think he's that fine.

At least he had a lot of fun bouncing off of Ace Attorney's equivilent of Ganondorf in Damon Gant. (I JUST LEARNED THERE'S A DAMON GANON MOD LOOK AT HOW GLORIOUS IT IS)

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

Pretty much any of the stuff to fall under the proship umbrella (ex. incest, age gaps, etc)

There's also a specific writing pattern I notice in a lot of fanfics where there's a lot of transition between dialogue and the writer can sometimes feel strained in trying to not have their writing be repetitive, but they change the words around rather than the sentence structure. It ends up sounding both repetitive and awkward with the random word choices that don't address the root issue.

It looks something like this:

"The air seems to have chilled. I haven't felt this excited in a while. This will be a glorious battle." - Ganon said.

"Do you really think so?"

"I do." - The king of evil replied.

The demon king sat down and began tending to his weapons carefully for battle.

"This time, I will be ready" - The demon king chuckled.

It becomes really apparent when there are animal characters and they sub in things like "The fox said" the "vulpine said" and it just gets to me. I get why it happens! But for some reason it bothers me specific to fanfiction.