#ew eeby

[ask-imp-and-some-clones]

Yo cool demon clone!! Can you introduce us to some of the clones there???

(This is most of them. Imp's still kidnapping new ones lol)

(Names under the cut -mod Wolf)

Eeby

Mety

Thang

Torbject

Commee

Maxine

Imitord

Echo

Hex

Rune

Hectic

Boyd

Huggy

Stryker

Benddee

Schrö

Turse

Eddord

Ghast

Monstord

Murphy

Jandle

Fizzy

Eddritch

Imp

Tome

Wing

Snoodle (not a clone, just a cat)

Fedd

Victom

Doppel

Fitzgerald

Fracture

Carol

Torn

Stanley

Null

[lovesickeros]

☆ even the gods bleed [ pt 4 ]

{☆} characters arlecchino, furina, lyney {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings blood {☆} word count 3.7k {☆} previous [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ]

Fontaine was bathed in darkness, not even the moon daring to illuminate where the common man fears to walk. The streets were bleak and empty save for the constant, rhythmic ticking and clanking of machines marching on endlessly, dauntlessly wading where even the bravest dared not to venture. Not even the sharp click of the Gardes boots followed the occasional hisses of steam as they walked the barren streets.

It was haunting, and it'd been like that for days now. It showed little signs of stalling in the slightest, too. Every inch of Fontaine was practically crawling with Gardemeks– like a swarm of rats skittering about.

Arlecchino had secluded herself in the Hotel Bouffes d'ete for days at this point, waiting– biding her time. Her nails clicked against the wood as she tapped at the table in a stilted rhythm, the subtle click of the clock mixing into the clanking outside, weaving in and out of earshot as the patrols slipped by. She reached forward after a moment of thought, reaching for the white king.

She leaned back against the chaise, tilting her head just enough to catch a glimpse of a patrol of Gardemeks as they vanished behind the rows and rows of buildings. It wasn't enough to keep her attention for long, however, her features twisting in disinterest as she glanced back to the chessboard– and the letter neatly resting beside it. The seal was unmistakable and a sobering sight, demanding her attention– the soft hues of blue etched into the shape of a dragon stared back at her in a way that almost unsettled her.

She had already parsed through it's contents hundreds of times, but she was met with only vague, flowing script that only served to irritate her more then anything– it filled the page top to bottom yet managed to say nothing at all. Her hand reached out again, but instead of reaching for the letter she plucked the black rook from the board, setting it down with a soft click.

Arlecchino had all the time in the world to sit back and observe her prey, but all that time would be useless if she lacked the information to act.

And he was quite tight fisted about it, evidentially. None of her inquiries or attempts to decipher any potential codes in the letter left her empty handed. She could not act without even knowing the reason for his summons– it was almost worded like a personal affair rather then one would expect for a foreign diplomat. In truth, she'd expected a scalding report on her operatives, but it lacked any mention of anything of the sort.

She was no stranger to people masking hostility behind pretty words and compliments, not that it was ever unwarranted per se– the Fatui did not create connections through honesty and genuine kindness. They have strong armed more then their fair share of people into cooperation to the point distrust is all the Fatui are met with outside of Snezhnaya. Every word was meant to conceal the deceit, every action meant to conceal the price later paid.

So she had been..skeptical of the letter, to put it lightly. She doubted the Iudex of all people would offer a hand to the Fatui without a price attached– a trap, perhaps, meant to lure in the most powerful piece left on the board. Her eyes narrowed, reaching for a white rook and moving it to the right.

Or he was hiding something. Something that he simply couldn't risk getting out to anyone, not even the Divine themself. A tempting prize, whatever it was.

..A dangerous prize, too.

She'd considered burning the letter and forgetting it all together– the risk was great, and she couldn't risk getting caught up by whoever else the Iudex may have on his side of the board. But she could hardly pass up the challenge and the prize that he fought so hard to keep from prying eyes and ears. Even her agents came back empty handed each time. She lazily picked up a black rook, sliding the white pawn aside.

"Lyney," Arlecchino drawled, crossing one leg over the other and turning her gaze to the door as it slowly creaked open. The pale visage of Lyney stepped through, though his siblings were noticeably absent. The weariness that weighed down on his shoulders was apparent in the slightest furrow of his brows and the subtle creak of leather as he clenched his fists behind his back. "Father." He choked out, the title dragged out by the sharp inhale and shaky exhale.

He looked out of breath, she noted.

The silence that lingered after the small exchange was punctuated only by the click of another chess piece being moved. She sets aside the black rook, letting it sit among the dozen other pieces that had been wiped off the board. She can see the conviction glinting beneath the fog of exhaustion, but if he would utilize it was another matter all together.

He had seemed to make his choice quickly, at the very least.

"Our contacts and operatives within the Fortress of Meropide have gone silent– all we have is their final confirmed missive.." His voice is confident, but it is rigid as the words spill from his lips. He takes a sharp step forward, unfolding his arms from behind his back and opening his hands– the small, water stained and messily folded note catches her eye, plucking it from his palms with a half hearted interest. "They believe the Duke left the Fortress of Meropide..and that he may be coming to the Court of Fontaine."

Her eyes narrow dangerously, nearly crumpling the thin paper in her hands– yet just as quickly, she collects herself.

But she cannot get rid of the bitter taste on her tongue, lingering as she sets down the note and slides it to the side, her lips pursed into a thin line.

So the Iudex had shown one of his pieces..she tightly grasps a black rook, tipping over the white rook, letting it roll against the board.

If the Duke was involved, things were much more complicated then she expected– he would be a problem, she was certain. She couldn't blame the lamb for fearing the wolf, either. Whether her agents had been killed or captured by the man mattered little. He had his ways, and he was a force that could instill fear in even them.

Which meant the possibility that her operation was already compromised was far too real.

What had the Iudex so concerned he had gone through the trouble of bringing in the Duke and herself? The Fatui was one thing, but to specifically request one of it's Harbingers..

The Prophecy? The thought had her clenching her fist, but..no. If it were to rear it's head now, the Iudex could simply not afford to waste time on his contacts deciphering his nonsensical script– If the prophecy were to be the issue, there time would be limited to mere minutes in the worst of cases. Which meant it was worth biding his time in order to ensure absolute secrecy.

So if not the prophecy, then what?

Her next moves were..limited. She was already walking on eggshells considering her position and the reputations of the Fatui– especially with a Harbinger in the midst. If they caught wind of her operations, they'd weed out her operatives and be on guards for any snakes that lingered in their garden.

She reached for the chessboard again, picking up one of the white rooks from the board with a scowl. The sharp click as she sets down the white rook and sets aside the black pawn draws a shaky inhale from Lyney as she moves another black pawn, the dull click of the pieces drowning out the distant clinking of machines.

..A draw, perhaps.

The pieces were all falling into place– the players of this game were slowly being revealed. Whether she could secure her victory..she was unsure.

She wasn't even sure who her opponent was. Only that the Iudex himself was but another piece in their game.

Arlecchino reached for the board again, yet this time she hesitated. Perhaps she could still swipe the win from beneath them, if she played her cards right.

She would simply have to capture the king– or, if need be, let it end on a draw. Either way, she would not concede. She could not afford to concede. Down to the last piece, she would drag out this match until she was in a position to force their hand into the outcome she desired.

She stood slowly, picking up the king piece and observing it for only the briefest of moments before she set it down on the table, taking measured steps around the table and across the room. She was hunting a much more dangerous quarry today– it would be no simple runaway traitor this time.

"Do you remember the directive?" She inquired coldly, her hand lingering on the door for that long, tense moment. "..Yes, Father." Lyney faltered, taking a hesitant step back and bowing at the waist. "Then do not stray."

All that was left was the silence and click of the door shutting behind her as she disappeared down the hall, her boots clicking harshly against the floorboards. The rest of the agents knew better then to linger in her path as she stepped down into the lobby, adjusting the cuffs of her sleeves. She barely even acknowledged the Fatui agent standing at the ready by the heavyset doors, their gloves hands held out with her cloak held loosely in their palms. She quickly snagged it from them, tugging it over her board shoulders and clasping it around her throat.

With a quick tug, she brought the hood up over her head to conceal her sharp features, lifting her hand and placing a neatly folded note within their waiting hands. She had only one chance to make the right moves and secure her victory– no matter the cost.

Each piece had it's purpose.

Oft, that purpose was a bloody and horrible end– but for the grand goal of the Fatui built on the backs of the dead, it was an honor.

She didn't bother speaking a word as she dismissed them with a wave of her hand, pushing open the heavyset doors and stepping out into the barren, damp streets. The rhythmic clink and whir of Gardemeks was still distant– she needed to move. Her boots clicked and splashed in the rain soaked stone of the streets as she slithered between the buildings, ducking through the openings in the patrols.

It was almost too easy.

She tilted her head back, taking in the towering Palais Mermonia with a scowl, her hands clenched into fists. The final moves were being played– the king was within her reach, yet she felt no more confident then when she began.

The air carried a sense of unease, thick and heavy, filling her lungs until she felt her breath still in her chest– listening to the empty, bleak night that seemed so..quiet.

She'd done her fair share of research, had more then her fair share of her agents try to peer into the Iudex's office or the Archon's supposedly hidden chambers, but every attempt was a failure. She had to give them credit, they were quite elusive when they wished to be. Though now she only thought about it bitterly– this was all a risky gamble, in the end, and only time would tell if it paid off.

With minimal effort, she'd managed to pull herself to the flat, tiled roof, eyeing the massive tower peaking out of the center cautiously. At least here the wandering patrols down below weren't likely to notice her..she could hear them passing by the spot she'd been in only a few minutes ago, just beneath her. She pulled the hood further over her face, peering through the sheer darkness of the night for any oddities, but it was almost impossible to see in the dark.

Her boots clicked softly against the tiles as she approached the tower jutting out from the Palais, her hand gliding along the smooth stone, pressing against odd indents or crevices. If it was for the Archon's chambers, she doubted they made it very difficult– she'd only met the woman once, but she doubted the Iudex make it all that complex just from a brief glance. And it surprised her little when one of the stones sunk into the wall, gears whirring as the walls split open to reveal a stairwell straight into an inky black hall. Only the barest hint of light peaked under the door at the bottom, but it's occupants must have heard her, considering it went out not a moment later.

She cautiously stepped down into the small crevice, her breath visible in the bitter cold air– her shoulders tensed at the subtle sound of muffled footsteps behind the door, her vision flaring with a molten heat between her shoulder blades as she reached for the worn handle of the door. The heat of her vision was enough to just barely heat the metal, her vision flaring like a quickly building inferno.

Arlecchino was prepared for a fight, if it came down to it.

The door creaked as she pressed against it, shoving it open with a grunt of effort and surveying the room with narrowed eyes and a biting remark on the tip of her tongue– the lavish opulence was expected, she supposed, but the lack of the towering figure of the Iudex was not.

Yet before she could get a word in or even take in her surroundings properly, the light flickered back on and she had to squeeze her eyes shut with a hiss at the sudden brightness. She could hear the door being shoved closed behind her, the hurried footsteps retreating just as quickly as her eyes adjusted to the light.

..This was a joke, wasn't it? It had to be.

She'd expected the Iudex, perhaps even the Duke if she'd been unlucky, not the Hydro Archon. She had half the mind to test her worth as an Archon then and there, her temper flaring like an uncontrollable blaze, barely kept at bay. It took all her self control to force herself to smile politely at the woman rather then snarl.

"Miss Furina," She sneered beneath her hood, x shaped pupils locked onto the startled, trembling Archon with thinly veiled contempt. "What a..pleasant surprise. You'll have to forgive my manners, I assumed I was meeting with the Iudex." She observed her body language carefully– the way her eyes darted about like a frightened rabbit seeking escape, the slightest tremble of her lips..

Arlecchino opened her mouth to offer another scathing remark, but her jaw audibly clicked shut as her entire body seemed to lock up. Even her vision went cold against her back, a chilling feeling creeping up her spine as someone, or something, crept up behind her. Their footsteps were almost silent, the slight rustling of their clothes the only thing she could hear over her heart pounding against her ribcage.

Arlecchino had always prided herself on being on the other end of that sensation– she was the monster, and her target was the prey frozen like a deer between the hunters crosshair.

It was a chilling feeling to have the dynamic shifted on it's head.

She couldn't even swallow, her jaw clenched so hard she could hear it creak as she tried to reason with her quickly splintering mind– a futile effort, her joints locking up almost painfully. Black spots were quickly swallowing her vision from the lack of air in her lungs, the sound of shuffling behind her barely audible over the ringing in her ears.

For a moment – a moment too long to have only lasted the seconds that it did, yet so quick it gave her whiplash – she thought she would hit the floor dead before she could even glimpse her assailant.

And then it was gone. She came crashing back into reality with a startled inhale, her lungs burning and her knees nearly buckling under her. The instinct to lash out and kill whoever had done it was intense, yet she couldn't bring herself to move even a finger– it would be so easy to twist around and ignite them with searing flames, but her feet were rooted in place.

She almost didn't notice the surprisingly gentle hands unclasping her cloak, tugging it off her shoulders, if not for the sheer intensity of the presence still lingering behind her. Her mind was still fractured, struggling to right itself after the ordeal, and it had her seething.

"..Are you certain you held back enough?" Furina croaked, the normally soft lilt raspy and almost hoarse. "Not– not that I doubt your capability, most Divine!"

Arlecchino felt her nails dig harshly into her palms, heat swelling beneath her skin– Divine? Had she lost her mind? The Divine was..

The Divine was upon their throne where they belonged. She'd seen them!

"Hm. Well, maybe? Sorry, I didn't think it'd affect you too." Their voice was sickeningly soft as they stepped around her like she wasn't even there, focusing their attention on the Archon who seemed more then delighted about it. "What gave you that impression, most Divine? Aha, I..was completely unaffected, as you can see! Perfectly fine."

Furina let out a small squeak when they pinched her cheek, but the almost affectionate smile that tugged at their lips revealed the lack of malice behind the action.

"You're a bad liar, Furina. You might want to sit down..please?" They didn't take her protests for an answer, gently pushing her to sit on the bed before abruptly turning to face Arlecchino once more, a forced smile on their lips. "Oh, good, you're..uh, not dead. That's good. I thought I fried your brain. Sorry?"

..Had she hit her head on the way here? The Divine should still be on their throne, yet she couldn't shake the weight of their stare– it felt tangible. She felt like she was standing face to face with the stars– galaxies and constellations bearing down upon her.

She grit her teeth and clenched her hands until she felt the sting of her nails against her palms, grounding herself in the pain through the sheer overwhelming nature of their existence.

"You.." She croaks, reaching out with a shaky hand and grabbing them by the collar of their shirt, lifting them up until their feet left the floor– she pays no mind to the startled protests of the Archon. Arlecchino would crush her like a bug before she even got the chance to intervene and they both knew it. "You shouldn't exist– you aren't them, and yet you..you're the imposter, aren't you?" Her grip tightens yet they face her without an ounce of fear, meeting her unyielding glare with a pondering look.

Arlecchino wanted to make them bleed just to see if she could, the urge to sink her teeth into skin welling up in her chest to the point she visibly snarled, her mask of politeness long . "You're the imposter." Her expression falls for a moment before she schools it into one of apathy, setting them back down and holding them there for a moment, finally releasing them after a tense moment. "Or you were supposed to be."

Hers brows furrow– she wants to demand answers, to throttle them for damning them to being nothing more then dolls for the supposed Divine to break at their whim, but none of the words come to her.

"..Why now? The current Divine has been in power for years, yet you descend now?" Her shoulders tensed, lips pursed into a thin line– it's impossible to ignore the truth that lay before her. The Divine is a fraud and this..imposter is the true Divine. How many years had they been in power, now? How many years were they waiting? Why did they wait? Was the suffering of Teyvat not enough? Was the blood that painted the steps of their stolen throne not enough?

She'd personally been on the wrong end of the Divine's wrath– she wonders..had they watched? Had they seen the cruel hand of their imposter and turned their back on Teyvat?

"I.." They hesitated. It made her seethe, her hands clenching into fists at her sides– her vision flickered, flames swelling within it's casing just to be smothered by the presence of the Divine. But once that spark had been lit, she refused to let it go out. "I didn't know."

The answer does not satisfy her. There is an itch beneath her skin that she cannot scratch, a fire that burns in her chest so hot it scorches even herself.

"And what about now? Are you content to cower like prey in the safety of the Palais Mermonia?" She snapped, taking a step forward, her brows furrowed and her glare intense– she can see the slightest bit of worry in their eyes. She revels in it. "Will you let them use your acolytes like pawns? How many more need to be broken on the steps to your throne before you act?"

Again, her vision flares and dims– it refuses to be used against the Divine that created it.

"Have you no answer?"

The room is silent. They do not speak and neither does she.

Even the world itself seems to quiet in the face of her accusations, fury boiling to the surface so hot it incinerated all it touched.

"I will kill them myself."

Their words are quiet, but they are not soft– there is a vindictive, searing anger that explodes out like dying stars within their eyes. The sight of constellations replaced by a void that would not be . The smell of ichor grows stronger– to the point she feels almost lightheaded.

"..I am aware that I have failed in preventing this, but I had no choice in the matter. Still," They muse, their voice like the tolling of bells. A solemn melody that stills the swelling fury burning in her chest, if only for a moment. "I will rectify it– I will tear down their throne of lies and let not even the earth tarnish itself by burying their corpse among it's soil."

They pause for a moment, holding out their hand– scarred and bandaged by the weapons of the devout, yet still they take upon the burden of dirtying their hands to save those who did not save them.

"Do you trust me, Arlecchino?"

Did she?

"Will you help me?"

She exhales heavily, meeting the starry iris' of the Divine with a scowl still tugging at her lips. Arlecchino trusted no one but herself.

"..Yes."

[berrypass-de-murdler]

2 - 14 The Thanksgiving Dinner Murder

It's ok Logico, they can't all be puns

These episode titles tho, I legit imagine Logico painstakingly writing the entire book and then once he's done at some point at 3 AM he's just trying to title all of the cases

DON'T READ THE EPISODES WITHOUT READING THE BOOKS!!

It’s early in the morning, and Logico is fast asleep. He’s so tired! There’s an unpleasant knocking at the door. Unsurprisingly, Lady Violet is there. Eeby Gico rolls out of bed.

VIOLET: Rise and shine! It’s THANKSGIVING!! LOGICO: No it’s not!! It’s MAY! VIOLET: Remember? Holiday party? Today, we’re celebrating Thanksgiving!  LOGICO: W- VIOLET: Don’t worry, it’ll be Christmas tomorrow!

Vi leads Gico to a glorious dining hall.

VIOLET: For the Holy Republic, Thanksgiving celebrates the time where we annihilated a clan of peasants that was trying to overthrow us! Look!

The centerpiece decoration is a fake pie with a bunch of little dead human figures stuck in it.

LOGICO: How appetizing.

For no apparent reason, Father Mango and Steel are there.

STEEL: EW!! I thought I’d never have to see your short ass again! LOGICO: OH MY GOD, I hate you. MANGO: I’ve brought the wine! LOGICO: Of course you have.

They all sit down, awaiting their brown food to be served to them. After an hour, nothing happens.

MANGO: I have to go home now. VIOLET: NO WAIT!! I… I’m sure they’ll be out soon! 

She flutters to the kitchen. Can you guess what she sees? She screams. Logico runs over.

LOGICO: I probably could have guessed this happened an hour ago.

The first clue is a fork jammed into one of the human figures on the centerpiece. He tears it out and it’s stained with blood… but it’s nowhere near the dead chef. Are the human figures filled with blood????? Logico is about to vomit. He runs into the pantry instead. Mango is standing in the dark.

LOGICO: What are you doing? MANGO: Trying to figure out which brown food will go best with my gravy. 

He drinks some of it straight out of the pitcher. He gasps loudly!!!

LOGICO: … MANGO: I forgot I put arsenic in there. LOGICO: The fuck?? MANGO: It’s fine. I have God on my side.

He enters the kitchen instead and runs into Steel.

STEEL: Heyyyyy~ MANGO: … STEEL: I’d love a sip of that gravy.  MANGO: Absolutely not. STEEL: Ugh, I meant literally, but, if you wanna put it that way…

Mango kicks her across the room! Good thing too, because Logico cannot take any more of incompatible murdlers flirting with each other.

Irratino, restless, draws sketches of priests drenched in gravy. But his tears only make the paper bleed.

Logico quickly figures out that Steel is the chef killer. Makes sense, considering she’s one of the worst people alive.

STEEL: OH, YOU THINK YOU CAN CANCEL ME?! I CAN NEVER BE CANCELED!!!

She stomps around like the mature adult she is. 

MANGO: Now, I have the urge to kill HER…

Violet slams her hands on the table.

VIOLET: THAT’S IT! PARTY’S OVER! My GOD I can’t work with ANY OF YOUUUU

The end!

I hate steel so much

Look, baby sir rulean! He looks like a banana!

(I don't hate green bean sir rulean. I just hate armored sir rulean so I turned him into a green bean. wait what the fuck am i doing?)

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[puriette]

hellow (( hehehe )) ^_^

baby: - you're sweet - i would like to cuddle you - you deserve good things fish: -good vibes - i want to help you rearrange your room - go hydrate plain: - i bet you like cottagecore - you're probably pretty - you're kind panic: - you're cool - i'm scared to talk to you - you're smart i bet cursed: - messy room - video games - i want to make bad choices with you ew: - deactivate - you + me enemies to lovers - annoying g(r)ay: - wanna drink a monster with me? - your hair is dyed eeby deeby: - you're the funniest fucker here - talent - you're poggerz pretty: - wanna get married? - i like you - we could go on a picnic soft: - i want to hear your opinions - A+ music taste - color coded notes fruit: - hey buddy are you okay - please take care of yourself - <3 shiny: - friends? - i'll give you cat/frog pics - we could steal a shopping cart

[my-brain-is-full-of-wobbledogs]

Tumblr is like:

Post 1: Hi guys, I can't believe I have to say this, but please DNI if you ship Blorbo Bleebus and Eeby Deeby. ("ble/eb/y") . Eeby is VERY abusive towards Blorbo (calling them an 1d1/0t in episode 9). On top of that, they have a HUGE age gap. (Three months). Anyone shipping them should get off my blog IMMEDIATELY (and be ashamed of yourself, ew). Also, I am Blorbo Bleebus IRL, and the ship makes me very uncomfortable. Please respect my boundaries, and I'll respect yours.

Post 2: i am going to cut him open and fuck the wounds until we both cum

[readingrobin]

for the fandom ask - ghosts! either, or both ^^

I'm going to go with the BBC Ghosts just because it's the one I'm keeping up with more now.

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most) - Kitty for sure! She's so sweet and positive and nice and you do just want to be friends with her because dang it she deserves it!

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped) - Robin, with all his chaos. Very scrunkly.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave) - KItty stays winning as my blorbo and scrimblo bimblo.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week) - Humphrey! Doesn't get a lot of screen time but when he does he rocks it. Was actually decent to his wife and did his best.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave) - Mike because dang he puts up with so much, whether it's from the ghosts' shenanigans or his own family.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason) - Julian for obvious reasons.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell) - Thomas, for even more obvious reasons. It's a shame since I love dandies usually, but the reoccurring joke of him hitting on Alison constantly is just ew. Take a hint Thomas.

Send me a fandom and I’ll tell you stuff

[am-i-sans]

dnd adventures 27

dans and frog go to the library to do research and we see kyris, aka karen 2! she looks like absolute shit. shes writing and shit gotta go spy on her. one of the books is some sort of notebook about magical artifacts.

dans uses the hat of disguise to look like a librarian halfling. he walks over and asks if shes finding everything ok. she says she does. dans says she looks frazzled and she should sit a moment. dans makes her some drugged tea oh no.

frog goes wtf and goes to get the others.

cam tells undyne that dans tori and frog probably went to spy on steve. undyne is like wtf why, he knows were fuckin here. also inferno is out of eeby deeby. AND charmed lol.

frog shows up and tells them the cult lady is at the library. undyne has to tell cam this is a different lady. frog says hes disguised as a librarian they think and talking to her. undynes like 'why didnt he kill her?' cause their in public?! undyne says they will wait outside in case dans gets in trouble.

dans and karen have tea. he talks to her to make her guard go down. it works! they finish the tea so he goes to get more and drugs. he bumps into the gang lol. he waves them off and goes to get the stuff.

dans explains if he kills karen her body joins steves ranks. frog yells at cam for charming inferno and suzy xD dans is prepping the tea! tori is still following steve. she drinks it and is getting sleepy! dans says his name is Fildo. she says she misses her gf oh no. she passes out!

dans starts going through her stuff. shes researching artifacts and cryptids and stuff. dans looks in the scroll and it has a location. dans takes all her stuff and research and shit. also her magic stuff. dans also puts the cultists notes and the map of the sanctum in her pockets. he also gives a noted location of where they buried karen.

the dnd session started saying how fucked up what dans did lol.

off to find tori! but we dont know shes a fly lol. she has to find us. she lands on frogs shoulder. blobbo is on the other shoulder and sniffs tori. she flies into an alley and goes back to normal.

as they greet her, suzy is no longer charmed! she tackles cam enraged! inferno is not charmed either. cam is so dead lol no ones helping them. suzy says cam cheated. undyne stops inferno cause fuck him xD puts him in a headlock.

suzy sits on cam and wont get off unless cam gets her up without cheating. cam offers to let her beat them up later when they leave. she agrees. steve fuckin walks past us the fucker. so the market is free now cool.

cam starts haggling now cool. the shops got trickets and knick knacks. a guy selling weird potions. test your luck on the potion! inferno and frog get one each. inferno grows a second set of horns lol. frog's is hidden! moss wtf tell us. frog and inferno buy another oh no. undyne and dans are just watching. you can also get a random item in a bag cool. undyne grabs one.

undyne got a sword! she tosses it lol. she grabs another one. a hat! she gives it to frog. frog puts it on but we dont get to see what happens. it stops you from seeing a certain species of finch? inferno gets a chalice that looks eldrich. he chugs it. he suddenly is aware of everyones heartbeats. inferno gets some cat bones in a charm?!

undyne gets a glove cool. tori got a gross dagger made out of a big tooth. frogs potion gives them silver freckles! also frog is trailing sand lol. undyne goes to find cam oh no. inferno gets another potion. looks like ink. his veins become visible and black ew.

suzy walks up eating a chicken wing. she just grabs a potion and chugs it. she gets paler and her scars fade away. undyne somehow rolls high and finds cam. she gives cam the glove lol. inferno gambles again. an eye opens on the end of his tail its functional omg.

cam shows up and is like wtf. undyne tells suzy to stfu and lifts her away. fuck it dans is gonna take a potion along with cam! cam sprouts feathers on their elbows! dans got 2 effects! hes perceived as chaotic evil via magic (hes still the same not evil or anything) and his toes turn into tiny angry snakes? hes confused.

undyne also got a random item again. a handheld gong cool. it sounds like a wolfs call. inferno drinks again. and tori joins in. dans snakes try to bite frog. infero is poofed and his legs turn into frog legs! tori's eyes appear hazy and she can see past magical darkness for the next 3 days.

undyne yet again pulls an item. an ebony key? inferno also pulls. small pouch of sparkly dust. prevents you from getting lost lol. undyne yet again. bronze dagger! lightinging damage! dans got an item too, bone charm. cam drank and got scars.

inferno gets a ribbon and it makes you immune to seduction attempts lol. frog hands tori a potion. 'dont worry about it' MOSS. frog got some perfume and attracts fey oh no. suzy is spraying the perfume in her mouth lol.

dans got a greying paintbrush. inferno got a bead that can be used once and makes a bunch of oil oh no. cam yanked the feathers out like a dumbass and now their hurt. and they drink a potion and can only hear loud butterfly wing flapping. frog tries to get undyne to drink. success! undyne has nothing happen cause theres no celestials nearby. inferno yet again. philter of love! welp hes charmed by tori.

undyne went eeby deeby. inferno is happy. frog says its time for an inn.

we stop. im so fuckin tired. dnd took too long we got way side tracked. im tired. gonna sleep. eepy

[flowers-and-literature]

baby, fish, cursed, g(r)ay, eeby deeby, pretty (/pl cuz I'm aro), soft, fruit, shiny

(Yes, I wrote everything except plain, panic, and ew)

Stauiagdigadkgad oh mein gott. Thank you bestie!!! *Ahem* yes yes yes to everything here fr aaaaaaa 💖💖💖💖 love you bestie!!

[kmp78]

"Why the f do you act as if EW is the problem?"

EW might not have any sway over the way JL is, but you have to admit the dude is a sleaze. Beyond what you'll say he picked up from JL. JL has zero influence over the nasties he fingers when he's off on his own. JL has zero influence on his IG postings. And JL isn't in control of EW's facial or body languages. He gives me the eeby jeebys 🤢

EW is sleazy? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

HAVE YOU SEEN JARED LETO BY ANY CHANCE? 🤔

[c0metm0th]

I hate drawing side profiles, it makes me want to throw my entire being out the window.

I don’t get my started on full body side profiles-

[ask-imp-and-some-clones]

How many clones are there?? And.. can I hug Imp please my life will not be complete if I fail to hug him at least once

Imp: Oh well we have a few clones here. Not nearly as many as Bing yet, but a few

[mocha-gladiator]

fish + ew + eeby deeby + shiny

eebish shmongis keeler pwibkle <333 kis

[hampal]

Fish, ew/pos, eeby deeby, fruit

Hold this fucker for a bit. I’m heading to Ohio

[dxppercxdxver]

hm how about the rook/stiletto for the blorbo &c. asks?

FUCK YEAH FUCK YEAH LET’S G O

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): call me cliché but it has to be myfanwy. i’m just so enamored by characters who are simultaneously two or more people, in this case because of her amnesia, because she has such a dichotomy with herself that Fascinates me. also she’s funny as hell and i think we need more unhinged female characters who are canonically Just Okay looking (if i have to pick a Non main character favorite i’d probably go with shantay or eckhart)

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): i am going to skrunklyfy heretic gubbins. a balding forty-five year old man. because he is the Only Character in this series who can even Remotely be considered Cute (except maybe the gestalt baby but ew)

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): INGRID. FUCKING. WOODHOUSE. she is my wife my love my beautiful hero in purple she does so much and is responsible for the greatest fucking plot twist in the book i am obsessed with her oh my God (second to her is pawn alan summerhill—li’l pawn alan—because he is just my scrimblo)

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): bronwyn!! she’s a brilliant addition to the story that addresses a lot of the plot holes and also the direct reason behind one of my favorite scenes in the book. she’s just So Normal and it really works to complement the rest of the story. also? the greek woman. just perfect. and and! wolfgang. my bunny boy wolfgang

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): alas. graaf gerd de leeuwen. he is a flayed mass of muscle and goo inside a fish tank with a propensity for splashing when he’s mad. and he’s So Bad at threats it’s ridiculous. what’s not to love (other than all of him)

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): hmm. pawn poppat. he feels like he’d be easy to rile up. or!! graaf ernst von suchtlen!!! listen even if the naked man that grew from the human heart that was mailed to my po box turned out to be my ally he is still A Naked Man Grown From A Human Heart Mailed To My PO Box. he deserves a little retaliation

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): conrad grantchester. all of the gestalts. noel bittner (although i think getting swallowed by a dragon in canon means he’s already there). conrad grantchester. gestalt again. grantchester. grantchester

noticing that all of these characters are from the rook and i didn’t mention stiletto at all. not that i don’t like stiletto it’s just that felicity and odette fill the same niche myfanwy does in my brain and i haven’t read it as much as the rook so i don’t remember all the side character’s names shjshs

honorable mentions for characters that live rent free in my head:

- alrich

- lady farrier

- the flesh cube

- odette’s little brother

- pre-amnesia myfanwy

- the psychic duck

- felicity And odette obviously

- frau blumen

- random protester #1

- the woman that staked out the vampire den

- pawn monica jarvis-reed

- the gay bishops murdered in the 1600s

- stabby crystal man

- alrich again

thank you for the asks cupola!!!

[ewingstan]

Ask Game: Guardians of the Galaxy

*cracks knuckles* ow my knuckles

blorbo: Ewing finally sold me on Nova, and I've bought in HARD.

scrunkly: Noh-Var. I love having this edgy powerful "I'm better than anyone in this room" character who's powers are so weird and ridiculous. Godspeed you funky little cockroach, I hope things with Hercules turn out well.

scrimblo bimblo: Martyr/original 616 Phyla-Vel. If you ride your dragon girlfriend into battle you have my respect. As much as I love Ewing gotg and the Moondragon merging scene, I'll always be a bit put out that it lessened the chance of original Phyla-Vel ever coming back.

glup shitto: Jack Flag. Look, I hate most of the "lets put an earth guy on the team and have them talk about how much they hate space" picks. There's a reason people don't talk about how Iron man was on the team, or ant man, or the Thing. But Jack Flag is exactly the type of D-list fodder that deserves to be shot into space and stampeded by prisoners escaping the negative zone. It just fits.

poor little meow meow: Super-skrull

horse plinko: Wendell Vaughn

eeby deeby: I'm glad Wraith is dead

[leam1983]

On Bilingual Bonuses

"Blorbo from my shows" sounds like a typically secular, Tumblrite construct, but it happens to remind me of something my mother and grandmother used to employ in order to refer to their favourite audience hooks in the local sitcom dubs. "Les filles de mes programmes", or "The girls from my programs", where "program" refers to a TV show.

Think about it: you spend an afternoon hoovering in dubs for The Young and the Restless, Melrose Place, Beverley Hills 90210, Models Inc. 90210, Dynasty, Santa Barbara, with all of them using the same stylistic guide, all of them framing dialogues in the same way, all of them using similar dramatic stings to underline a reveal or a plot twist. How long is it before everything blends together and you start wondering if Stacey knows who RJ Ewing is and if Sarah is aware that Steve is banging her clone?

Mom and Grandma had their Blorbos when I was a kid, some of them sharing the same dub VA over several years apart. Add to that the fact that I was a barely-fluent French Canadian kid who only paid cursory attention to the whole thing, and the whole stretch between 3 and 6 PM seemed populated by a legion of Glup Shittos to me - one of which is wearing what I didn't know to be a ten-gallon hat at the time.

Seeing how often dramatic deaths shook things up, you can only assume that Eeby Deeby and Super Hell both fought for rights over Loving's Stacey Forbes...