#evil wizard things

[cb-writes-stuff]

Me using my evil sand wizard powers to obliterate the twinkish lifeguard station that dared to reside on my beach

[potatoisasnake]

Share your wizard wisdom, I'll go first.

Never leave your explosive potions in places small children can reach.

[trappedinafantasy37]

Just a quick reminder that Minthara is the only evil aligned companion who does not actively do anything evil and you never actually have to tell her not to do evil things. She only talks evil and suggests evil, but she never does anything evil herself. Now, I know this is gonna be earth shattering and ground breaking news for some people, especially those who've never recruited her, but she never tries to force you to do the evil things she suggests and you can choose not to do them. A lot of people like to act like she's holding a knife to your throat and demanding you be evil or else. But nah, she just calls you a pussy in the background and moves on. And not all of the things she suggests are necessarily evil either.

She explicitly takes orders from you and she will always do what you tell her to do, even the good things. She may bitch about doing good things, but she will still go along with it and give it her all (Hells, sometimes she'll even have fun!). She is willing to put her own desires and ambitions aside to serve a common goal. And there are some good things Minthara does approve of! She is also the only companion who will not abandon you over the choices you make and her hard line is you being an asshole and mistreating her. Minthara will literally follow you from the beginning to the end no matter what happens and no matter what choices you make because she made the oath that she would.

So, if you think she is "too evil" then you need to take a good hard look at yourself cause the only evil she is actively doing is the evil you command her to do. And you have no place to judge her for enjoying the evil when she is just following your orders.

[chocodile]

Someone on Twitter @-ed me with that wizard chalice post, so I had to draw it.

All evil chalices are tiny when you're 7 feet tall.

[cimicherrychanga]

I think I huave covid... ate you sing-- *gets shot*

[majorasnightmare]

the tadpole/brain damage thing. its like. chekovs gun to me. obviously theres very little mechanical support ingame for having a disabling injury, aside from maybe an optional voluntary decision to drop the INT score, but similarly to choosing to write intention into the lack of dark urge Lore responses from the party, i just like to make mountains out of molehills and force game mechanics into In Universe Character Problems

like when dirge repeatedly mentions that he thinks the tadpole is doing something beneficial for him, that its helping him, it isnt JUST the power-hungry psionic ambition in him. its a parasite, that needs a host. it needs a LIVING host, or its own chances of survival plummet. and dirge gets tadpoled right after a life threatening injury to the tadpoles preferred habitat. neither of them want to die!! dirges body tries to recover, but cant in part BECAUSE of the tadpole (the netherese stasis magic rejecting outside influence and binding it to its host, having an unejectable foreign object in the injury site, etc), but its not like the tadpole WANTS its host to have a life altering injury

its not like its malicious (except when it comes to Hive Activity, and then it can be a right bastard), it just cant live any other way. it cant help what it is. halsin calls the illithid life cycle abberant and unnatural, but brood parasitism exists throughout the natural kingdom. is the wasp egg evil for having been laid in a caterpillar?

its first moments of life outside the brine pool, and its new home, its new life, its host, its caregiver, its food supply, is bleeding and dying and falling apart and trying to fix itself but cant and its trying to heal around you but it cant but if it doesnt do anything youll both die, so this larva, this tiny worm of psionic potential and instinct, does what it can. holds its host together with whatever force it can muster, soft gelatinous body (perfect for compreesing flat and squeezing through small orifice openings) keratinizing outside the acidic environment of the brine, its four oral tentacles (its only source of motion and movement when so young and soft, dragging itself along as best it can) made for interweaving with dense synapse clusters to passively absorb the psionic imprint of its host, now desperately intwined with bleeding meat just to try and hold it all together. driven by survival instict and a vessel of psychic potential, forced into passivity by the commands of the Elder, further forced by circumstance to leverage all its great gifts to keep its host standing long enough to eventually eat

my thought is that the reason why dirge still gets the cutscene of the emperor tadpoling him at the beginning of the game, is that the original tadpole orin forced on him is just so weakened and exhausted by months of effort trying to keep him alive through kressas experiments and meddling, that the emperor, currently in thrall to the absolute, feels the need to replace it with a fresher healthier specimen, which then cannibalizes and absorbs the previous one, and then just has to go back to doing the same shit as the last one.

i think that dirges tadpole isnt as twitchy or squirmy as the others because of it. that when omeluum gives him a psychic MRI, the tadpole is just burrowed down and its tendrils stretched like a dense net throughout dirges brain tissue, only moving or writhing occasionally but definitely not as mobile as usual, its web of tendrils especially twisted near dense scar tissue at the back of his head. this worm is already so fucking weird and the circumstances for this mind flayer MRI have already introduced a bajillion different variables that need accounting for, that i dont think omeluum immediately groks the specifics of whats going on but CAN peg the "you have brain damage and your worm is fucking Weird" situation fairly easily. but i dont think it gets enough time in dirges head to get a full understanding of what the tadpole is doing FOR him

cuz like. imo its definitely objectively helping. its a psychic information bank specifically designed to interface with a human brain. the reason why dirge isnt experiencing too many of the side effects of brain damage is because the parasite is doing its best to mitigate them. memory issues, brain fog, disorientation and balancing issues, theyd all be significantly worse without the parasite. when he brings up how he feels its helping him, objectively hes right and its not even the kickass psychic powers hes right about.

like it doesnt cure EVERYTHING, he has chronic migraines that are sensitive to light, and before he asks halsin to make medicine, he starts every morning puking his guts out when the morning sun makes him so nauseous he cant hold dinner down. even without the Urge Nightmares, he has insomnia and just cant meaningfully sleep. but keeping track of what day it is, remembering what happened a few hours ago or the other day, standing up from a sitting position and not immediately wobbling and/or collapsing, retaining his old muscle memory. all shit the parasite is helping with

which is why i cant help but fixate on those moments immediately after defeating the absolute. like oh thats juicy

[sleepy-the-loz-enthusiast]

Legend: "This wizard hates me. He has it out for me, I swear"

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

I’m going to make you find out that your old friend who you miss but stopped talking to and grew apart from years ago is wildly more successful than you and realize with sadness that you’re jealous rather than happy for her like you would have been in the old days

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Hey, I was wondering why you think Roxy was destined to end up with Eridan? I get the shared wizard interest and the quirk foreshadowing I guess, but that still seems like a large stretch. It's kinda like saying that Equius and Dirk are going to end up together because they both like robots and horses. It's just seems like the sort of character remixing that Hussie uses a lot in Homestuck. But what do you think?

Roxy

- fucking LOVES WIZARDS

- is a hipster and literally wears a colorswapped version of eridans scarf

- is pink and bubbly

- uses riflekind

- has a perfectly opposite powerset to eridan (can create anything by stealing its void away vs. can destroy anything with pure belief) and are connected to each other through the matriorb

- has a crush on a troubled, eccentric prince so you know that's her type

- quirk cameo with momlonde

Eridan

- Is a wizard

- Is a hipster and literally wears a colorswapped version of roxy's scarf

- Uses riflekind

- Had a huge crush on Feferi, a bubbly pink girl whom he (wrongly) believed to be so nice she might not even be capable of pitch, so we know that's his type

- The equal and opposite powerset & quirk cameo

At the end of the day I can't tell you what to ship, nor am I interested in making anyone ship anything, but I'm kind of just saying, the things that make Roxy predisposed to liking Eridan are, like, the biggest parts of her character, and Eridan is very easy & would pretty much say yes to anybody, but Roxy is also definitely His Type and Eridan is a simp who thrives under any sort of positive attention & would do anything someone asked if they were giving him positive feedback. or attention at all. case in point kanaya fucking hates him but at least she talks to him and he's constantly praising the shit out of her

Jane and Jake also have their introductions IMMEDIATELY followed by talking about how they've got a thing for "cobalt" hunks and "cerulean babes" respectively, so setting up roxy with eridan also fits into a pattern of the b2 kids being set up to date a dead troll. still rereading this part of the comic, but it really jumped out to me how blatant it was for jake and jane

[writing-is-a-martial-art]

the thing about me is that I will chant. If you need a chanting guy please consider me I can chant about basically anything. The moon rising (moon! Rejoice, the moon is here, the moon, the moon the moon is here!) seeing a spider (spider, spider, most beautiful of spiders, all hail) any form of art (ART ART ART) flesh and gore (flesh and gore flesh and gore flesh and gore :3). I can be ominous and whispery or full on displaying the joie de vivre. I have mastered susurrus. I will not stop, probably not even if you want me to. I can chant passably latin-adjacent stuff and make ambient creature noises. I have about two voice impressions (faggy vampire and sad russian man) but I can chant in those too. I am not built for a competitive work environment but I can bite people. I am partial to basements, underground layers and wizarding towers. I love calling people my liege. My particular brand of not okay makes me ghastly pale and quite nocturnal. I am okay with being trapped in time loops if they count for overtime

[beebfreeb]

do you have any docs about the conlang and/or conscript? i just found your art and that immediately stood out as incredibly cool. i wanna write some funny stuff

The majority of my conlang stuff is written on graph paper held together with a paperclip or a spreadsheet file on my computer, so I do not have much easily accessible to share. Hm...

The vocabulary is currently... quite measly ever since I bulldozed everything and killed it all dead. So fleshing out vocabulary and whatnot is what I have to work on next. Grammar is similarly rudimentary but it was never intended to be very complex. A lot of information wouldn't be encoded verbally, only through pheromones and body language.

[arcturite]

Kill your goth boss

[aidens-ocean-galaxy]

rosekiller as agathario, anyone?

[nabhx]

[itissadbutitsmy-artblog]

i think i found a solution. you just introduced us to 800 wizard children. get going.

fionna: couldnt you just reupload our world to someone elses head

prismo: prismo: maybe. if i could get it out of simons head and find a willing wizard

simon: well theres no shortage of wizards in ooo

prismo i guess: hey. pep. mind if we store an illegal fanfic universe that mirrors your own in your head. do you want that.

pep: boy do i!

[a-sad-mage]

I'm re-watching Lego: Nexo Knights

And, they really did Jestro dirty.

They had him perform after Merlok(and I know Merlok set up a 'surprise attack' to test the Knights and show off a little but still man)

I to would be a nervous wreck if I had to perform after a literal sorcerer.

Jestro, is clearly hesitant about using the Book of Monsters(BoM), but because his self-esteem is so low, he's lured into it.

And whenever we see his story play out, the guys just, so sad, it's clear he isn't totally convinced this is what he wants, being evil, but the BoM picks at his insecurities, and words things on such a way Jestro just goes with it.

Like straight up, the BoM and Jestro have a toxic relationship, and it's all at Jestros' expense.

And don't get me started on his relationship with Clay, iwbzjsjsj

I love them

Clay just never giving up on his friend and always giving him the benefit of the doubt. And Jestro's main concern when the BoM was first trying convince him to summon a monster was Clay.

I can't, my sweet, sweet, boiz

Jestro deserves all the kindness and I could never hate him.

Same with Clay, Clay is the Dad/Mom friend we all need.