#because she KNOWS him and knows WHY hes disabled and why there isnt much to be done for it.

[majorasnightmare]

the tadpole/brain damage thing. its like. chekovs gun to me. obviously theres very little mechanical support ingame for having a disabling injury, aside from maybe an optional voluntary decision to drop the INT score, but similarly to choosing to write intention into the lack of dark urge Lore responses from the party, i just like to make mountains out of molehills and force game mechanics into In Universe Character Problems

like when dirge repeatedly mentions that he thinks the tadpole is doing something beneficial for him, that its helping him, it isnt JUST the power-hungry psionic ambition in him. its a parasite, that needs a host. it needs a LIVING host, or its own chances of survival plummet. and dirge gets tadpoled right after a life threatening injury to the tadpoles preferred habitat. neither of them want to die!! dirges body tries to recover, but cant in part BECAUSE of the tadpole (the netherese stasis magic rejecting outside influence and binding it to its host, having an unejectable foreign object in the injury site, etc), but its not like the tadpole WANTS its host to have a life altering injury

its not like its malicious (except when it comes to Hive Activity, and then it can be a right bastard), it just cant live any other way. it cant help what it is. halsin calls the illithid life cycle abberant and unnatural, but brood parasitism exists throughout the natural kingdom. is the wasp egg evil for having been laid in a caterpillar?

its first moments of life outside the brine pool, and its new home, its new life, its host, its caregiver, its food supply, is bleeding and dying and falling apart and trying to fix itself but cant and its trying to heal around you but it cant but if it doesnt do anything youll both die, so this larva, this tiny worm of psionic potential and instinct, does what it can. holds its host together with whatever force it can muster, soft gelatinous body (perfect for compreesing flat and squeezing through small orifice openings) keratinizing outside the acidic environment of the brine, its four oral tentacles (its only source of motion and movement when so young and soft, dragging itself along as best it can) made for interweaving with dense synapse clusters to passively absorb the psionic imprint of its host, now desperately intwined with bleeding meat just to try and hold it all together. driven by survival instict and a vessel of psychic potential, forced into passivity by the commands of the Elder, further forced by circumstance to leverage all its great gifts to keep its host standing long enough to eventually eat

my thought is that the reason why dirge still gets the cutscene of the emperor tadpoling him at the beginning of the game, is that the original tadpole orin forced on him is just so weakened and exhausted by months of effort trying to keep him alive through kressas experiments and meddling, that the emperor, currently in thrall to the absolute, feels the need to replace it with a fresher healthier specimen, which then cannibalizes and absorbs the previous one, and then just has to go back to doing the same shit as the last one.

i think that dirges tadpole isnt as twitchy or squirmy as the others because of it. that when omeluum gives him a psychic MRI, the tadpole is just burrowed down and its tendrils stretched like a dense net throughout dirges brain tissue, only moving or writhing occasionally but definitely not as mobile as usual, its web of tendrils especially twisted near dense scar tissue at the back of his head. this worm is already so fucking weird and the circumstances for this mind flayer MRI have already introduced a bajillion different variables that need accounting for, that i dont think omeluum immediately groks the specifics of whats going on but CAN peg the "you have brain damage and your worm is fucking Weird" situation fairly easily. but i dont think it gets enough time in dirges head to get a full understanding of what the tadpole is doing FOR him

cuz like. imo its definitely objectively helping. its a psychic information bank specifically designed to interface with a human brain. the reason why dirge isnt experiencing too many of the side effects of brain damage is because the parasite is doing its best to mitigate them. memory issues, brain fog, disorientation and balancing issues, theyd all be significantly worse without the parasite. when he brings up how he feels its helping him, objectively hes right and its not even the kickass psychic powers hes right about.

like it doesnt cure EVERYTHING, he has chronic migraines that are sensitive to light, and before he asks halsin to make medicine, he starts every morning puking his guts out when the morning sun makes him so nauseous he cant hold dinner down. even without the Urge Nightmares, he has insomnia and just cant meaningfully sleep. but keeping track of what day it is, remembering what happened a few hours ago or the other day, standing up from a sitting position and not immediately wobbling and/or collapsing, retaining his old muscle memory. all shit the parasite is helping with

which is why i cant help but fixate on those moments immediately after defeating the absolute. like oh thats juicy

[seaweedstarshine]

RIP Krakoa 🌹 I can’t lie I’ve been kinda behind since midway through Fall of X I’m gonna catch up before my first SDCC this summer but I hear Vulcan didn’t see much action anyway. Anyway my hand slipped and I found myself looking into the eyes of my canonically psychotic son the best Summers brother who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life, (he’s done lotsa wrong things but I love him more for it)

[orkbutch]

ok ok, i know this isnt a wicked blog but its time for me to say my thoughts on the Wicked movie trailer.

I'm not stoked. I'm not much of a musical version lover already, but two things really rubbed me wrong, and I believe they apply to the musical as much as the book in their importance within the Themes.

Elphaba being played by Erivo and being black is cool. Erivo is a great singer, and her hair looks sick, and Elphie's hair is important. However, that casting choice being combined with a white Fiyero (who is Not White in the book, and very much experiences colonialist racism) and with no prosthetic effort to make Elphaba Not Beautiful (which is a Significant Element of Her Experience And Character), spoils any truly transgressive or progressive bite to that casting decision.

The only of the core mains thats not white is the character that is green. Interesting. The character who is extremely belittled for her appearance because she has a deformity, and because she's unattractive by conventional standards (esp because of her hawkish nose and strong chin), is a beautiful woman. Interesting!

Something about this just rubs me wrong. I think the musical has always made me skeptical in this area because its core adaption decisions were always bent toward stripping Wicked of much of its commentary on racism. In the book Fiyero is Vinkan, clearly coded Native American, and Winkie is a slur. They made the slur the name for the Vinkans in the musical. If I recall correctly, Quadlings aren't even mentioned in the musical. But Fiyero in the musical... I don't even know Why they keep him being a foriegn prince because he isnt written like hes foriegn from Gillikin at all. His ethnicity seems totally flattened, a slur that indicates no cultural or experiencial distinction from Gillikin.

I think that may have happened because Animals were already considered an allegory for racism, and they wanted to make that allegory cleaner and easier to condense into a musical plot. Thats my theory. However, that is a misreading. The Animals are not a perfectly singular allegory, and I think you could argue several inspirations, but the most apt interpretation for sure is that the Animals are an allegory for people with disabilities and neurodivergence, as Elphaba's experience is.

The Animals are not merely culturally different or isolated. They are not falsely believed to be different from the Gillikins or the Munchkinlanders or Vinkans. They ARE different, not because they aren't people but because their basic needs are different, and are not adapted to by society. They have hooves, and different skeletons, and different senses, and different mouths that can't necessarily make the kind of speech humans use.

This is important because Elphaba uniquely relates to the Animals, and its because Elphaba has a deformity and is super autistic. This is the other thing that always rubbed me wrong about the musical: it always implied that the only thing that made Elphaba "ugly" to people was her green skin. Thats... weak shit!!! In the book, Elphaba is Not beautiful. She is hatchet faced. She is tall and androgynous and looks weird. And this is IMPORTANT, because it makes Elphaba a genuinely transgressive character!! Her experience is layered! She is green but also breaks gender rules, is awkward, is self hating, is rude, ect. ect. It strengthens her empathy she feels toward Animals, because she feels so othered from society that she feels non-human, alienated.

The book also handles Elphaba's attractiveness much better; it does a great job of depicting someone who is not beautiful but is nevertheless Hot, which Elphaba is. When Glinda looks at her for the first time and thinks that shes beautiful, she is not looking past Elphaba's skin and she does no make over. She puts Elphaba in an orange hat as a joke, and sees how it matches her skin and suits her, and it makes Glinda realise that the green of Elphaba's skin can be beautiful to her. And that changes how Glinda sees Elphaba; Elphaba does not change.

okay im just complaining about the musical now. But idk, I wish that they'd used this opportunity to do better by Fiyero, make the themes a bit better... and just... put some light prosthetics on Erivo. Just make her look a little uglier! A little more hatchety. Its not like it'd be out of place, Ariana Grande as Glinda looks spooky as fuck. Why does she look like that. I like it bc I like Glinda looking intense and spooky but it IS weird

[theredalice]

Wall-artist2 posted a poll and it inspired me to make a longer post about it. Its a long post. And I love the heros journey. I'm so sorry if it sounds arrogant- this is my interpretation of the game and how it applies the heros journey in the context of the poll

Mouthwashing is told from Jimmy and Curly's perspective.

A protagonist is defined as the main character. They are the driving force of the plot and the reason why this story is being told. This would mean that Jimmy and Curly are the protagonists.

Now, what are their goals?

Jimmys goal is to evade responsibility. To protect his peace. To do what he wants with little consequence to himself.

Curly's goal is plainly stated in the game, "I want to make my life one im not trying to fucking run from all the time."

The force that hinders the protagonists is considered the antagonist. The opposition, the one that gets in the way.

Because of this, I feel I can very plainly say that Anya is the antagonist in Jimmys story.

This is NOT to say she is the bad guy, this is to say that she is the one who hinders Jimmy through his story. She is the true outside conflict of the protagonist. She is the one that makes him stop in his tracks, makes him face his actions. If even he doesn't recognize it and actively ignores it, she is the one who annoys and fucks with his plans the most.

For Curly, I'd say that Jimmy (and maybe Pony Express) is the antagonist. He's in the process of foreging his life out of the hellfires of Capitalism. Of course, this is a struggle caused by PE, but Jimmy is the one who ends up physically stopping him from his goal (I.E completely disabling him). He cannot create a life when he's stuck in space and entirely reliant on Jimmy.

Jimmy is the one who gives him meds though the game. They quickly run out of bandages post-crash, so his only means of physical omfort is the painkillers.

Writing this, im thinking about the birthday party. Curly expresses his need for a better life, and Jimmy explodes. "WE'RE the ones you're trying to run from."

Jimmy feels abandoned before anything has happened. His company dumping him isnt such a big deal, but his best friend?

What he's really saying is, "I'm the one you're trying to run from."

Which brings me to "wouldn't Curly be Jimmy's antagonist?" And I see your point. But I feel that Jimmy has attachment and abandonment issues. Curlys been with him for a long time. He's the only consistency in this world. Is Curly leaves, what would that make Jimmy?

Alone. Abandoned. Trash. Useless worthless man.

I feel Jimmy is too obsessed with Curly and his image to see him as opposition. I see it more as a Curly is Jimmy's favorite person and is constantly splitting in him.

Curly is never the one who stops Jimmy. Curly didnt stop him going into the cockpit. Curly wasn't the cause of Jimmys muder-suicide.

Curly paved the way for Jimmy. Curly carved the path Jimmy walks on. Anya was Jims catalyst for action.

"What about Daisuke and Swansea?"

Diasuke is faded in the background when it comes to their stories. He doesn't play a substantial role in stopping or progressing either goals. He's more of a Herold. He let's Jimmy know that Anya is locked in medical and that is the message that propells the second half of the game (the message in the first half being the notice from PE)

Swansea is a threshold guardian. TGs are the force that hinders the protagonists path but for a milestone in the story. Sometimes they can be overarching and defend different thresholds, but Swansea is just a TG when he is guarding Utility. Possibly when they are running in the crypt, but for this post I'll focus on the in-reality part.

Swansea isnt seen through the game as an obstacle until Anya is locked in medical. He, like Daisuke, are background characters. Until he stands in the way of the only way into medical, then he is an obstacle and must be removed. Daisuke doesn't do much except be a tool in Jimmy plan.

Anyways this too long, hope it all made sense!

[frozenjokes]

CUBFAN NOOOOO THE ROBOT ISNT IN LOVE WITH YOU HE JUST THINKS YOU HAVE AUTISM!!!!!!

So. Like. Why did they make the robot hot.

This was a train of thought through Cub’s mind more often than he cared to admit, but it was weird, wasn’t it? It was definitely weird that they made the robot hot! It didn’t need to be hot. It was a child care robot, a teacher’s helper, there was no reason to make the robot hot for that kind of role. It- Maybe he- Cub often found himself flip flopping on the pronouns- was meant to aid in spotting potential learning disabilities in children, give assessments on occasion, and make recommendations to parents. That was it’s whole job. So why was it hot.

There were other oddities about it as well, but those made marginally more sense. The name, Scar, was just about the dumbest thing you could’ve called your mental health robot, but Cub could see how that might appeal to the kids. A ‘cool’ name for a cool guy, or whatever. Scar was also overly friendly, with the elementary school staff as well as kids, but this made relative sense as well. Obviously you want your robot to get along with others, be amenable to staff, and be high energy for the kids. It didn’t matter if this programming made Cub want to tear his hair out most days, at least he understood it. He was relatively certain Scar was also programmed to seek out shier, less talkative kids in an effort to incorporate everyone into the main group, because he would not leave Cub alone. Cub spent most of his break time in the custodian’s office for a reason, he did not need a Scar-sanctioned check in multiple times a day.

Cub had actually complained once to Scar’s maker; a woman named Cleo who came in a couple days a week to supervise its work, but she had only offered a weak apology, muttering something about age differentiation and troubles with programming, though, after that day, Scar bothered Cub with much less frequency.

Cub should have asked her why she made him hot. Honestly, he could probably ask Scar directly and get a straight answer, but Cub didn’t particularly want to go out of his way to humor the damn pest, when most of the time he could not keep up with Scar’s energy and would much rather be left alone. Well. That’s what he told himself most days at least. What really bothered Cub was how human Scar felt.

Cub knew this was the point. Scar had to feel human to make connections with the kids, get to know them on a level a psychiatrist wouldn’t be able to in a 90 minute session, it made sense, but it was equally disturbing because Scar was charming and funny and really attractive, and all of this was mixing up to be some extremely confusing feelings on Cub’s end.

Scar didn’t feel like a robot, and it frightened Cub how much he liked him- it. Scar had to be an ‘it’ because if it was a ‘he,’ then it would make perfect sense why Scar’s eyes lit up when he saw Cub, it would make sense why Scar was so engaged and excitable, it would make sense why Scar flubbed his words, tripped over his feet, was a a little uncoordinated, imperfect in all the most human ways.

Was it so pathetic to think of Scar as his friend? No- Scar wasn’t his friend, he was a robot, and the root of all of Cub’s problems was simply that they had made Scar attractive.

Whatever. It was fine. Cub had a normal reaction to Scar stopping by less often, he definitely wasn’t upset and definitely wasn’t paying special attention to the cleanliness of rooms that Scar was more likely to be.. Extremely unfortunate that Scar did not have to use the bathroom, and if he did happen to be hanging around, most of the time he had five or six little ones hanging off him at the same time. Not a great environment for talking casually, and Scar was more focused on the kids anyway, which- that was his job, it was fine. Cub wasn’t so out of his mind that he was getting jealous of children, for fuck’s sake.

Cub did end up spending more time in the staff break room though. Hanging around Cleo’s office when Cleo wasn’t in, though Scar was almost never in there alone, not unless he was prepping some kind of assessment.

Either way, whenever Scar saw Cub milling about with the other staff, participating in mind numbing small talk, or simply listening in a small crowd, Scar was nothing less than thrilled. Now, Scar was always this way with everyone, but Cub couldn’t help feeling like he was special, little praises and positive reinforcements always seeming to be especially geared toward him. Did the other staff notice? Did they also think Scar was giving Cub special attention? Cub would have asked, but he was not nearly close enough with any of the teachers to allude to any of his own attachments to a fucking robot. And regardless of how friendly a lot of the staff were, there was not a single person in this school who was easier to talk to than the robot. There was no risk with Scar, Cub could make a complete fool of himself (and had) for hours and Scar would see him no differently.

Cub startled at the school bell, indicating the end of the day, shiiiittt, how long had he been spaced out at his desk? He frowned, shaking his head. Whatever, whatever, the bulk of his workload would be now, anyway. Cub got to his feet, moving to fill the mop bucket in the faucet on the other side of the cramped room. Despite the heavier workload, these were his favorite parts of the day. He’d put his headphones on, get into the groove of his routine, and clean for two or three hours before heading home, usually uninterrupted. He really didn’t mind kids, he wouldn’t have stayed here so long if he hated them, but there was a certain peace to the school after hours, and Cub enjoyed the predictability of being here alone.

Cub screamed when he turned around to see Scar in his doorway, water sloshing over the side of the bucket as he jumped. By the time Cub had gotten his headphones off, thoroughly embarrassed, Scar was already apologizing.

“-Oh dear, I hope I didn’t get you too wet, I didn’t mean to scare you!”

“It’s fine,” Cub half laughed, mostly out of nerves. He stared at the water on the ground for a moment, easier than looking at Scar, then shrugged. “It’s just water.”

“Water’s scary stuff! Oceans, lakes, pools, brrrr, no thank you! Though, Jenny was telling me the other day about how her family took her and her brother up to their lake house and they went tubing and that really sounded fun, it’s a shame I’ll never get to do something like that.” Scar was always referencing one of the five hundred kids in this school by name, something Cub used to admonish him for, but didn’t bother anymore. No point when he’d go right back to it the next day. Scar also had an extremely concerning habit of naming things he’d love to do or things he wanted, which was way too human and way too disturbing if Cub thought about it too long. Why would he be programmed to want something he could never have??

“You and water don’t mix, huh?” Cub said quickly, realizing he’d drifted off, but Scar was patient, never minding an awkward dip in a conversation.

“Oh no, no sir, I mean, I’m quite resistant, I’ll tell you that, but I can’t be submerged or anything just in case. Water’s killer, did you know? Cleo won’t even let me outside if it’s raining too hard!”

Cub snorted, “Well I know now.”

“Great!” Scar brightened, as if he hadn’t already been radiant before, “Hey, I was wondering, do you have a free 90 minutes? I was hoping to spend a little time together before Cleo picks me up at 6:00, but I’ve got my hands full during the day, you know how it is.”

Cub blinked several times, and he must have had a startled expression on his face, because Scar reacted in turn. “No pressure, of course! If today doesn’t work, I’m quite flexible! I don’t do much in these couple hours anyway, just sitting around, twiddling my thumbs… But I’d love to talk to you!”

Cub’s mouth dried, but this time when he stared blankly at Scar’s doofy, hopeful face, Scar did not make any more amendments, waiting for Cub to respond. Cub swallowed hard. “I’m still working. Sorry, Scar.” His internal demons screeched and flipped tables all over the scape of Cub’s mind, but he remained firm. This just wasn’t a good time, and as willing as Cub was to slack off for ten minutes here or there, he wasn’t trying to get written up. He almost asked if Scar would be free over the weekend, then bit his tongue. It’s a robot, pull it together!

But Scar did not look disappointed, his expression never wavering. Messy brown hair, vibrant green eyes, just a smattering of freckles and soft dimples from his near permanent crooked smile- Cub was hopeless.

“Cub?”

Cub blinked, and Scar’s expression had shifted, still cheerful, but more inquisitive. Cub got the feeling he’d missed something. “Sorry- What was that?”

“I thought I’d help you! You were going to mop the bathrooms, right? I can’t imagine this taking more than three hours alone, but if you’ve got a second mop, we’ll cut the time right in half! You can carve out a little time for me, can’t you, Cub?” Scar winked, and Cub thought he might die.

“I don’t just clean the bathrooms, Scar. All the classrooms, the cafeteria, and I have to vacuum the carpets on the first and second floors today as well. It’s probably not going to happen.”

“Oh dear, that is a lot.” Scar rubbed at the nonexistent stubble on his chin, straightening and snapping his fingers as he came to an exciting conclusion. “How about this, then! Next week, Wednesday, Cleo can’t pick me up until 8:00! I’ll be around all day, and you’ll be off by then, right? And in the meantime, I’ll keep you company! An apology for scaring you so bad, how does that sound?”

“I-“ Cub couldn’t think of anything better. “I’d like that.”

Scar seemed to have negative effects on Cub’s productivity, but if Scar noticed, he didn’t care, and Cub certainly didn’t mind. Well. He minded a little bit. This was not the relaxing music-listening routine Cub had been looking forward to, but he did get to spend a lot more time ogling Scar and listening to him ramble on about nothing in particular, which was nice. Apparently Suzy and Brenda weren’t getting along again, and Scar just wasn’t sure what to do! Cub had no advice to give, even despite Scar’s attempts to claw it out of him. Scar wanted clear, critical answers, solid directions, and all Cub had to offer was ‘that’s crazy, man,’ and ‘kids are wild,’ and ‘I never got up to any of that stuff, I wouldn’t know.’

However, this did prompt a conversation about Cub’s childhood, specifically what he was like as a kid, which was a little more engaging, though Cub didn’t have much more to say about himself that Scar didn’t already know. Cub politely dismissed questions along the lines of ‘did you have trouble making friends growing up?’ and outright rolled his eyes when Scar asked if he had a family history of neurodivergence, but these were all just symptoms of Scar’s programming, nothing more. Scar seemed to be able to tell Cub had no interest in this conversation given his curt or non-committal answers, and the subject was soon changed. A happy Scar was most content when both parties were having a good time after all.

“This was a lot of fun!” Scar said as Cub was finishing up with the vacuum, but given the noise, Scar had to yell to be heard, which was comical in itself. “I really like hanging out with you, Cub! It’s been so great seeing you around more often, I hope you keep doing what you’re doing here!”

Cub hated that he flushed at that, but luckily he was facing away, moving steadily down the hall while Scar trailed after him. It just killed him that Scar was so- so- the way that he was! Kind, generous, always playful.. As much as it was a bear to take the mop away from Scar every time he tried to use it like a sword, it was also fun, and it really made Cub dwell on how much of that he was missing from his normal life. Someone fun. Someone who spared no expense when it came to kindness, little compliments, someone who just wanted to make Cub feel comfortable, feel good.

“Thank you, Scar.” Cub mumbled, but there was no way Scar heard him over the vacuum. That was fine. He was feeling a little too vulnerable to repeat himself.

And that night, he lay awake in bed, cursing himself for being so weak. Scar was a robot, literally wire and plastic, its show of emotions adaptive to appeal to children, nothing more, nothing less.

But Scar liked him. Scar liked him, Cub was so sure of it- Scar wanted to hang out, was always happy to see Cub, always engaged, always dropping little bits of praise- Scar wanted to be alone with him. Surely there was a reason, wasn’t there? Maybe Scar was sentient, maybe he wanted Cub to know, to know that he was trapped in the house of his maniacal maker, and wanted to run away, live somewhere safe with someone he knew he could trust. Of course he could trust Cub- Cub had- well, he’d dropped out of college so it’s not like he had a degree in robotics or anything, but he knew some coding, and he was sure if something broke he could figure it out! He would put the work in, he would do it if Scar needed him to.

Perhaps that was a little bit deranged of a fantasy. Rein it in a little, Cub.

Maybe Scar wanted to kiss him. Maybe he’d seen it on TV, knew the idea, the basics, the why and the how, but he’d never done it before and he wanted to know it, wanted to try. Anyone would be curious, wouldn’t they? Cub wasn’t- he wasn’t a particularly great kisser, but Scar wouldn’t know that, would he. Cub would be a perfectly serviceable first kiss, and he could- oh, maybe he should really make an effort to use more chapstick before next Wednesday.

This was so stupid. He could not be crushing on a robot.

…

Maybe it would be acceptable to crush on the robot if it did actually want to kiss him. Surely it liked him. It wouldn’t be giving Cub so much special attention otherwise!

Oooohh if Cub shared a bed with a robot, its skin would be cold, right? Cub was always getting so hot at night, but he hated giving up the weight of his covers. If he was hot he couldn’t sleep though- Yes. A robot boyfriend would be the solution.

The week leading up to Cub and Scar’s- whatever this was going to be, was uneventful. He didn’t sense that Scar was acting any differently this week, but given the fact that Scar’s normal was a little bit out of his mind, maybe that meant nothing. Scar seemed excited about their meeting, reminding Cub every few days, though he didn’t seem nervous. Cub wasn’t actually sure if he could remember a time Scar had ever acted apprehensively; maybe that wasn’t something he was programmed to be able to do. Cub was a little bit enchanted by the idea of that. Scar, ever-confident, never held back by nerves or anxiety, wouldn’t that be a nice guy to have around. Cub bet Scar could order in a drive through window without stuttering, and he’d probably be able to talk loudly and clearly too, get the order across on the first try. What a guy…

After Cub stopped feeling pathetic about these dullest of benign fantasies, he got back to work. Though, the day of their Big Meeting, Cub was having quite a bit of trouble keeping it together. He hadn’t slept well the night before, spending hours unable to stop thinking about this, about Scar, about what Scar might want with Cub, ranging from plausible to utterly absurd. Scar had managed to entirely consume his thoughts, and all of this to blame on the fact that Cleo made their stupid mental health child care robot attractive.

Maybe Cub would ask. If this was a romantic meeting, he didn’t think it would come completely out of nowhere, not that Scar would mind either way. It was a reasonable question, in his humble opinion! Scar was obviously into him, or he wouldn’t ask to hang out alone together for an extended period of time! And all the other stuff! Cub could make a red stringed cork board out of Scar’s suspicious behavior, and truly, all lines could only lead back to one thing.

And so the time came.

Cub didn’t see Scar around very much after school let out for the kids, but that wasn’t particularly abnormal, only noticeable because Cub was thinking about him so much. God, honestly, whatever happened, it would be a relief for this thing to just be over so Cub would regain the ability to think about anything else.

Cub poked his head into Cleo’s office, relieved to see Scar there. It was a nice room, much like a therapist’s office, which Cub supposed made sense. There was a desk, a place Cub assumed Cleo often sat, but Scar was in a comfier looking chair, messing with something on the coffee table. He looked up when Cub opened the door further, brightening instantly.

“Hello! Come in, come in, I can’t wait to talk to you!” Scar gestured to the loveseat across from him, and Cub entered gingerly, looking around with some caution. He wasn’t sure what he had expected, but this.. he wasn’t sure. Something about it seemed so ordinary. Cub supposed this was the consequence of getting in his head about things. He closed the door behind himself before taking a seat.

“Hey, it’s good to see you.” Cub paused, grappling with himself internally on whether or not to just shoot his shot. There wasn’t really a reason not to, was there? “Missed you today,” and the words came out strangled, just about the most miserable, pathetic sounding noise he could have made.

Scar laughed, not unkindly, “I’ve been busy, unfortunately! Figured you might be as well, and I wouldn’t want you getting too sick of me before we got to spend some proper time together.”

Cub shifted in his seat, “I don’t know about that.”

“According to Cleo, it is extremely easy to get sick of me, and I think she would know! Cleo’s the expert on all things me after all.”

“That’s- That’s not very nice of them to say.” This was it, surely. Cleo was treating Scar badly, he needed help.

“Oh, well I’m not really capable of having my feelings hurt, so it’s not a big deal. I’d rather she be honest with me so I can continue to improve! I know you yourself said I can be overbearing as well, and I appreciate the feedback.”

“I-I didn’t mean-“

“Don’t worry about it,” and Scar was kind, so kind, “Again, it is literally impossible to hurt my feelings. You can’t do it.” He brightened, “Try! try!”

“I don’t have anything bad to say about you Scar-“

“You do, I know you do, Cleo told me!” Scar was thrilled by the idea of this, while Cub’s distress only mounted. And then, in what must have been his best Cleo impression, continued on, “That poor custodian! Leave him alone, Scar, he wants nothing to do with you!”

“I- Hey! I did not say that! I actually did not say that. I can’t believe this.”

“What did you say?” Scar looked so amused, and Cub couldn’t help but humor him, crumbling.

“I just called you a pain in the ass- but I didn’t mean it! It’s not like I’m doing that much anyway, I like talking to you-“

“Weak.”

Cub gawked, “What?”

“Come on, Cub, I’ve heard that before plenty of times! Do you know how often Cleo calls me a pain in her side, geez Louise, it’s like I’m not her beloved psychiatrist invention, she should really treat me better! Now, Timmy the other day called me a-”

“Does that bother you?”

Scar stopped, blinking in surprise. “Does what bother me?”

“That Cleo doesn’t treat you well.” Cub found himself fidgeting, struggling to look at Scar when his eyes softened, almost pitying.

“I’m not human, Cub. Sometimes I wish I could understand what it’s like to be you, so eager to personify the smallest things, though, I do realize the impulse is stronger when I..” Scar gestured vaguely to himself, “Y’know. It’s funny, a little. Cleo thought implementing me as a prototype would be a lot harder than it was, with me being as I am, but it turns out a human face does a lot of the heavy lifting. I hardly have to do more than exist for people to assume I’m just like them, but you’d do better to remember that’s not the case.” Just when Cub was finding himself a little unnerved, Scar sat up, clapping his hands, “But Cleo and I are friends! I’m sure if I was allowed to swear I’d have a couple choice words to share with them too, but alas! Truly, if you continue to be concerned despite the fact that I literally lack the ability to care, Cleo gets their comeuppance from time to time. I earn that title of being a pain, I’ll tell you that.”

Cub wasn’t entirely sure what to do with all of this, but Scar didn’t seem to be concerned, opening a box with a- was that a puzzle? Either way, whatever Scar was setting up, Cub didn’t want to kill the vibe or anything, choosing to ignore most of that in favor of a lighter topic, “How often do you have to be censored? Surely you wouldn’t just start cussing out kids if Cleo let you say fuck.”

“Oh, no, I definitely would!” But before Cub could ask him to Elaborate Please, Scar laid a collection of wooden 2D shapes out on the table- Tangrams the box said. Cub remembered playing with those in school when he was little. There were picture cards in the box, shapes you were meant to create using the smaller pieces. “Do you want to play?”

“Sure,” Cub shrugged, unsure what this was about. Had Scar seen him fidgeting? Was he trying to give Cub something to do with his hands? Cub pursed his lips against how sweet the gesture was. He did like the shapes… There were quite a few of them, Cub bet he could stack them pretty high. “I’m not past the swearing thing though, are you seriously saying you’d go ballistic with free reign over the English vocabulary.”

“Oh! Yeah, probably! Cleo thinks so at least, but they foresaw this issue before I was able to speak for the first time.” Scar sat back, seemingly happy to watch Cub do his thing, which.. a little awkward, Cub wouldn’t lie, but he had more important things to do, like try and stack the octagons vertically on their sides, and this required a great amount of focus. Scar happily kept talking, “I learned to talk by watching humans have normal conversations with each other, and I picked up on patterns of speech from that. Now, in a controlled environment it doesn’t really matter, you can keep swear words out of your videos and make your confederates keep their language clean, but when Cleo started taking me out to the field to hear real people talk, you can’t exactly control what they say. I understand how to talk casually from listening to hours and hours and hours of natural conversation, and I implement that into the way I speak now. Because swearing is so common and elicits so many strong responses from the people around me, especially kids, I’d start doing it a whole lot.”

Cub bit his lip, half paying attention. When his octagon tower fell, he mumbled, “Well you can tell the difference between kids and adults, can’t you? Just don’t swear in front of the kids.” Cub frowned at the shapes in front of him, a little scrambled from his rabid impulse to stackstackstackstack. He put the pieces he’d withdrawn back in their place before looking at the puzzle cards. They were a lot simpler than he remembered; checks out, honestly. Perks of being an adult, or maybe not. He kinda wished they were harder. Still, he started going through them, placing the different shape pieces on the template and attempting to fit them all inside.

“Well there’s a lot to unpack there, Cub, but there are quite a few times it would be inappropriate to swear in front of adults as well- Cleo wants to to retain some amount of professionalism, so. But I also can’t do that.”

Cub blinked. “What?”

“I can’t tell the difference between kids and adults. I’m actually quite bad at it, believe it or not. I mean, between little ones and staff it’s easy, but humans have a lot going on! Some adults look so young, and some kids look so- adulty! When Cleo was trying to put guidelines in place, it created a lot more problems than it solved, so she let it be. I’m pretty terrible at gender as well, I’d probably guess correctly in your case, but with 60% of the school, I couldn’t tell you, especially the little ones. Actually, I could tell you because I have all the ages and genders of the kids and staff tucked away in my database, but this doesn’t generalize to the real world. Cleo’s still working on it.”

“That’s. Very odd.”

“Not really! Humans have all sorts of decision making complexities that I don’t, so it’s much harder for me to differentiate the little things from each other than, say, conduct psychiatric assessments. I get clear instructions, I know what to look for, and I can make fairly basic, but also quite accurate initial diagnoses! There’s far more variables when it comes to physical observations, and I’m no good at that stuff. Trust me, Cleo’s been tearing their hair out over it for years.” Scar continued to ramble on about the specifics of his own strengths and weaknesses, but he didn’t say anything drastic enough to pull Cub out of Puzzle World, where he was currently in the zone. Some of these were ridiculously easy, baby shit, but a few were out for blood, and Cub would not fall at their parallelogram shaped hands-

Cub’s head snapped up when Scar gingerly attempted to start cleaning Cub’s frenzy driven puzzle nightmare, and he must have looked quite frightening, because Scar backed off, blinking at Cub inquisitively.

“I’m not done.” Cub said, answer enough.

“I thought we might do something else?” Scar tried, looking hopeful, and maybe he sensed Cub was feeling violent about his archenemies The Parallelogram, because Scar added, “You can always come back to this, the office is always open. It’s already been an hour, so I was hoping we could do one more activity together?”

That certainly got Cub’s attention, though he didn’t relinquish his pieces without some hesitation. “What do you want to do?”

“Well!” Scar produced a small picture book out of nowhere, definitely one made for kids. “This book doesn’t have any words, but I’d love for you to read it to me!”

Cub stared. Scar stared back, just as unyieldingly radiant as always. He wasn’t joking. Suddenly, Cub wanted to give up his puzzle much less, but Scar was already putting it away.

“Give it a look, won’t you? I really like this story.” Hurriedly, Scar shoved the book into Cub’s hands, so aggressively that Cub fumbled to hold it.

“If you’ve already read it, I’m sure you don’t need me to do it for you,” Cub tried, still uncertain about this. What was the point? Was this Scar’s idea of a date? Romance? Maybe Cub should play into it in that case.. It was possible most activities Scar was familiar with revolved around kids, so he tended to share those experiences with adults as well.

“I like hearing what other people have to say about it. When there’s no words, you kind of make your own story, don’t you?”

“Well.. I guess so. I don’t think I’ll do a very good job though,” and Cub was certain that was true. He didn’t really. Emote well. Or talk like he felt any emotions at all. Out of all the staff, Cub was probably the worst person to improvise a story, even based on a picture book.

As if reading his mind, Scar spoke up, “You don’t have to be engaging! Just tell me what’s happening, I’ll follow along.”

Cub pursed his lips, but found no reason not to try. Maybe this was leading up to something bigger. Maybe at the end of this, if Scar didn’t make a move, Cub could try and shoot his shot. He hadn’t prepared for that possibility but- oh well, better to have this be a surprise than to think about it all next week.

He opened the book, and to the best of his ability, told the story.

Predictably, he did a horrid job of it. Cub was far too stilted, put too much detail into the wrong places, and generally wasn’t very entertaining. It was a pretty simple story, really; frogs flying around a town on lily pads, causing great alarm among the townsfolk and generating mild mischief wherever they went, nothing particularly eventful. The most interesting thing Cub had to say was his critique of the man in one page, eating a bread sandwich at 11:40 PM with a glass of milk- milk! What kind of freak drinks straight up milk just in a glass like that, not anyone Cub wanted to associate with, that was for sure! Scar seemed to get a kick out of that at least. Cub was relieved, though the rest was still excruciating to get through.

“And then next Tuesday, pigs fly, I guess,” Cub shut the book before Scar could ask for any critical analysis or extra details or whatever else- Cub did his best, but his own impatience with this activity made it clear to himself that he wanted more out of this, and if Scar wasn’t going to say anything, Cub would have to be the one to do it first lest he spend another week agonizing over it. “Scar, I really like you. I really like you, and I wanted you to know it, and I don’t know how much free will you have to leave the house with Cleo on your back all the time, but I’d really love to hang out sometime outside of work. Go to the park maybe? Sometimes I feed the crows, I bet you’d get a kick out of that.” Cub found himself fumbling towards the end, his own Being Flustered catching up with him.

Scar was looking at him so sweetly, that small smile ever-present, head cocked inquisitively. “That sounds delightful,” he spoke softer, and whether this was because he was reacting to Cub’s being worked up or because he was just pleased, Cub couldn’t tell. “Now, I’ll have to check with Cleo, I don’t normally have much reason to be going anywhere, but I see no reason there’d be any issues. The park ten minutes from here, yeah? We go there all the time on weekends! It’s where I do most of my listening to people; that and restaurants. I’ll let you know what she says.”

“I- Sure.” Cub released a shaky breath, unsure if he was relieved that this had gone well or a little scared that this had to go through Cleo first. He did not particularly want them to know he was trying to date their robot, but oh well. Surely that’s not the first thing she’d think, right? Friends hang out normal style all the time, and Cub and Scar were friends. Well. For now. But Cleo didn’t have to know that. Cub opened his mouth to clarify a time, and maybe also that this was a date, but Scar talked first, returning to his boisterous form.

“Now, do keep in mind that my initial diagnostic assessments aren’t perfect, and if you’re interested, I’d recommend going to a psychiatrist for further testing, but I’m pleased to tell you that you have autism!”

Something shattered in Cub’s brain, but Scar did not stop talking.

“Now, outside of our assessment today, there are quite a few things I noticed that indicated this might be the case, which I can list for you if you’re interested, but for this specific session, I can give you some more insight on what I noted down. For starters, flat affect and tone of voice, rigidity in play, the bouncing of your foot was near constant throughout our session, when you told you story, you never commented on the emotions of the characters.. There’s more of course, but sometimes people have those immediate questions I’m hoping to answer for you now. I’ll have the full diagnostic report with your specific scores printed tonight, and I can either mail it to you or hand it to you tomorrow-“

“Scar.”

Scar blinked, no less radiant. “Yes?”

“I’m not-“ Cub tried to collect his thoughts, but they’d all been scrambled when Scar catapulted several boulders through the glass walls of his mind. “I’m not autistic, first- Was this just. This is why you wanted..?”

“Oh, I really do think you are.” Scar could have puffed out his chest with how proudly he said it, but Cub was pretty sure he just imagined that. “I’ll include notes from outside our assessment, as this is the reason I’m able to keep things so short in the office. Don’t you worry though, all your interview data is entirely confidential! All data is stored directly in my system, which is not wired to any other databases that could be hacked or stolen. If you have any additional questions or concerns about the accuracy of my tests, diagnosis, or future steps, you can ask me directly or contact Cleo’s business email address.” Before Cub could even react, Scar was shoving a business card into Cub’s hands, pointing to the email on the back.

“I have to go.” Cub stood stiffly, nearly stumbling on shaky legs.

“Are you alright, Cub? I understand if you need time to process, but I would advise you to keep an open mind. Be kind to yourself.”

“I’m fine, Scar. I’m fine. Just- dehydrated.” Stupid. Stupid. Fucking- STUPID. “Goodbye.”

“Oh!” Scar couldn’t have sounded any more delighted at this news, “Alright, take care then!”

Cub slammed the door behind himself.

…

To: Cleo Z.

Subject: Scar.

WHY IS YOUR FUCLINH ROBOT CALLING ME AUTISTIX?????????

…

Cleo Z. [no subject]

To You

Hello, Cub. He is not supposed to do that. I am very sorry for any distress or frustration this may have caused you, however, I hope you take some solace in knowing I am most definitely more unhappy about this than you are. Please note that Scar’s diagnostic assessments are still in the testing phase, therefore, any of the results given are not grounds for an official diagnosis.

Regards, Cleo

[matrixwhore]

mmm…

i wanna talk about paul. i dont think i lingered too much there. bc it’s a sensitive spot i guess? it’s a sensitive thing to be openly unwell. my focus with this post if i really even have that is his relation with louis. i wanna talk about paul in relation to how louis treats him and that being a reason why i love louis so much too. i love both characters. i think paul doesnt really ever get mentioned in fandom much. which is the psychosis experience tbh. so it tracks.

it’s a public spectacle every one wants so desperately to ignore and to be over. in my personal experience (and i don’t think i’m alone in this) the person going through it wants it to be over too. wants that people don't see them that way. but paul’s whole character is generally ignored other than in conversations about whether or not lestat caused his suicide, which was a compelling conversation. whether or not he did is a incredibly prickly thing in the gut of the story. and to be followed up with Louis staying with Armand after having killed claudia who has a thread with paul too. she has a manic/psychotic moment. she’s a collector. she’s a lot of things that society doesn’t want to see exist. (nor does the fandom but i digress) and the way she lives in this undead world is as if she doesnt exist at all so manny ways (like paul in life too in ways) we’ve spoken of if you are someone who dares to acknowledge the fullness of her character. i said this was about paul but im working through a connection in real time. i think that’s why i wanna talk about paul. bc he carries so much of the story in the little time he was alive. and his death is the catalyst for louis’ initial death. not the one lestat gave him, but the one that made it possible for lestat to convince him in the first place. ( the spiritual one maybe? idk. im just thinking thoughts)

what i never question in regards to paul and louis’ relationship, is that louis loves him. that’s what actually makes that: “did lestat kill him really? and whether or not he did kill him….louis thought he did and stayed?” conversation so insane in the membrane to me. because the way he treated paul shows me he does love him so much. one: something in him died with paul. another thing is that louis genuinely wanted him around. he advocated for him to stay out of the hospital. he took him out as soon as he was given the power to as head of household when his father died. (i have so many questions about his own feelings and opinions on his father.) he openly spent time with him. paul was his favorite person. he let paul crawl into bed with him. which is kind of big deal from what i know in the openly unwell population. not a lot of people want to comfort that. and louis allowing his male brother into bed with him for that tender moment is kind of a key moment for him to me bc of how the pressures of homophobia can affect how men are made to feel they can treat their male family members too. Louis sees him and his need and is willing to give it to him. louis wants to be there for his brother. he decides he’ll be the one to take care of him. tells grace not to worry about paul. he would take care of him. he assures paul he wont see lestat anymore. louis’ love for paul was in the way of lestat’s wants and desires. maybe paul did have suicidal ideation already. maybe many things can be true.

(i meant to post this during disability month, but i went through it and so now i’ll just continue where i left off)

louis struggling with killing a man with a daughter and wanting to go home to his brother…😵‍💫. paul isnt a child, but louis was his caretaker. in paul you see louis shine in that role (barring the bit where he pulls a knife out, and threatens to gut him, bc that was a performance. it’s not great but he didn't even want to do that). louis recognizing that locking away a man for having delusions just because he has them at all made paul worse was such a powerfully impactful thing to me. i say this fully well knowing sometimes going to the hospital can be beneficial these days, but even still being locked up there?? drugged and treated horribly given he was black and in a time when mentally ill people were treated heinously? louis saying he belongs at home and seeing to it that paul gets to be home with his family. spending time with him like he’s a person beyond his disability. beyond his delusions. that shit makes me like quiver and cry tbh. that’s mostly what people going through that need most of all and don’t receive. he loved paul. and when paul dies louis dies. idc. (so if lestat’s did take paul away from louis….he killed him twice….also while i’m here i have stirring thoughts about lestat knowing he could tell paul his truthful intentions in town and that out of paul’s mouth no one would believe him. maybe that’s the whole thought. or maybe i’ll come back to it. idk)

(i think in some ways claudia was also theyre to fill the casm paul created too. sorry none of this is like linear or anything im just thinking i guess. maybe i’ll make get into how i see they’re related later.)

[naggascradle]

i just finished hotd so im obviously thinking about it more but ive been really working to try to narrow down why i found hotd so much more fun to watch despite its flaws compared to my frustration throughout all of game of thrones with the character reductions and missing the point of the books.

first of all i think its down to the new showrunners understanding themes and like... what makes a story compelling in terms of characterization and what you can flesh out from a more barebones text. there's a lot to that you can have fun with & turning vague historical figures into a story to follow. i loved the alicent and rhaenyra background where we see them as children! episode one of season one is such a strong set up for the rest of the show and the themes it wants to deal with on the horror of motherhood and women being seen as vessels to carry children, which leads into the primary theme of the show and assumptions of people based on physical appearance.

which like, compared with game of thrones which seems sort of confused? about what it wants its themes to be for the show? like the books have a pretty major theme of the sins of the father sort of narrative and the cyclical nature of abuse and the way society pushes forward the abuse. the show removes most of these themes, oddly, like the biggest examples to me were tyrion's abuse by his father with tysha (this gets a mention in the show), the greyjoy family nightmare of abuse that just keeps going (the most we get on tv is theon being like my dad doesnt really like me :( and thats it but the books are pretty brutal in being like theon gets told someone's dad will beat them and he's like well my dad did that to me so idk what you want me to do about it.), arya's whole book narrative is how revenge begets revenge and in the process of revenge you will lose your own identity in pursuit of violence as a cycle, the point of the Others is to have the realms of men unite against an evil so great it will kill them if they keep doing petty squabbling, the list goes on. but the show doesnt really seem all that interested in playing with the ideas of cycles or what they mean? i honestly cant even tell you what i think the theme of game of thrones the tv show is. violence hurts people, i think?

hotd does a better job with picking a theme and running with it (the theme being what the assumption of a person means based on their physical traits; societally, politically, and personally). this is a major focus of a song of ice and fire as well, so it lends to the story of house of the dragon in a great way! we get larys who is disabled and his explicit discussion with aegon about how people will underestimate you and it will be your advantage (great parallel to doran martell in the books), the bastardy of jaecerys and his disgust with himself and following it up with him meeting the dragonseeds who have an entirely different view of being bastards (something id love to see more of in season 3, despite knowing jace's eventual end), rhaenyra & alicent obviously and the way people treat them as women. rhaenyra's conversation in episode one with aemma is suuuch a haunting one by the end of the same episode. alicent of course with her discussions about being undermined in front of her sons and how no one will be able to control them if she is continued to be shown as incapable in front of them.

anyway apart from themes hotd does also play with the concept of what adapting stories means, and how they'll play out differently on the screen, especially in a context of an adaptation along the lines of a historical fiction sort of show, as f&b isnt a chapter novel, more like an outline of how the history went. historical adaptations can be fun too in how the narrative is told, like giving nuances to characters when we just have their actions on paper. aemond unintentionally killing luke is up there for me in terms of "this is a really fun way to interpret the text" because all we know is that aemond killed luke when pursuing revenge over his lost eye, having their dragons act like actual animals with minds of their own in that moment was a strong choice! like of course vhagar will turn and try to kill a much smaller dragon for attacking her head on, she's a three ton massive sky beast. luke is a 14 year old with an adolescent dragon that's much more nimble, it makes total sense he could outjuke vhagar for a moment to get a direct fire shot on her. and it makes sense for aemond in turn to try to get control back of vhagar and fail. those are all incredibly compelling character choices to do when the accounts are so vague.

the other historical adaptation moment i really enjoyed was the dragonseed storylines (...enjoyed is a bit of an overstatement, i thought some of the dialogue for these scenes couldve been better.) where you can be like ?? who are these guys why do i care. until addam gets seasmoke and its like ohh those other two are the other two dragonriders ulf and hugh. got it.

honestly this is a very low bar in most shows but game of thrones really, really hated doing things like this except like once or twice (the only example i can think of is olenna tyrell getting a bunch of camera shots with the goblet at joffrey's wedding). game of thrones removed most of its foreshadowing in the tv show for major events that are borderline told to the reader that will happen in the books, and it makes the show a lot worse because it means it doesn't trust its audience can still be compelled by the story if they can figure out what will be happening (leading to like everything from s6 onward in terms of plot decisions lol), as well as made characters like ridiculously stupid in terms of their plans from the start because the show didnt seem to trust the audience in understanding what was happening in the story either? like the whole sansa being snuck out by dantos is... there for like one scene, but the book version makes it a whole shock twist that it was littlefinger arranging the whole thing (which was something you could pick up on beforehand, but from sansa's point of view she had no idea who was doing all this for her.), the show changes it to have petyr straight up tell sansa in the middle of the red keep "i'll sneak you out of here" and its like ?? people can say the characters got a case of the stupids in the later seasons but they definitely had the case of the stupids in early seasons too. why the fuck would littlefinger straight up tell her where everyone can hear him. this successfully lowers the stakes, makes littlefinger look like an idiot & everyone can guess who has sansa. like do varys's little birds mean something in this show or do they not.

i do think hotd leaves room to be desired with not making rhaenyra nuanced enough, but i can see where they really want the audience to root for her. regardless i dont think there's much where i was like "wow this character is ooc" its been pretty decently consistent about every character being consistent, and i do worry about if they start making rhaenyra have bad decisions itll be weirdly ooc lol. she's been shown to be prideful and wanting to be the only person making decisions & getting annoyed at others without her approval which i think is a pretty decent flaw to not make it overkill in making her an incapable ruler. idk i think rhaenyra is like. fine. as is. if she becomes bad at ruling id rather it be a slow progression over her control issues stemming from the way people treat her like she doesnt know anything and doing things without her approval. because it looks like they might lean into that and especially so after jace's and joffrey's deaths.

generally ive been reading everything hotd chooses to do as like this is a historical adaptation and some things will get changed for adaptability reasons. yes some things wont hit as hard if you loved them in the book but for the most part the changes have been in service of the themes i listed before, making the show feel like it has a purpose and wants to try and say something, so im more willing to forgive a lot of things in service of that.

anyway i wish we did have halaena's choice & nettles </3 those are the only two i dont really understand yet but im willing to wait and see how they play out

[whiteoutzz]

Hi! Is it ok if you elaborate and/or explain how disabled characters within Wings of Fire aren’t treated well and/or written well within the series (and/or that Wings of Fire is very weird about disabled characters) please?

sorry it took me a bit anon, but i needed to gather my thoughts.

But basically; while there is alot i could focus on, that even with disabled characters that are good, their disabilty isn't really all that researched (both starflight and tamarin for example, but i don't know enough to make a whole post about them), or how narrative often treats them as disposable or not as important as rest of the characters (ospery literally exist just to be killed. and yes alot of characters die in wof, but he is one book and then is killed off for other characters progression) (also whiteout. but i will make analysis of her another time). or whatever stonemover had going on.

and even with jerboa iii / boa, she hides her missing talons out of shame in her story, but it almost seems like its so the auhtor is more comofrtable with her, and idunno maybe she stops doing that later but it does feel gross to me. < and yes i am aware that loss of her talons was in a traumatic way but it doesn't really justify it, especially with how other disabled characters are written.

and even fucking Scarlet, who is disabled as a punishment (in the narrative, not the story itself. also she hides her scar in some instances with animus magic, and yes im especially including her).

clay's disability is mostly forgotten both by books and fandom, and much more.

but i do think one of the things that angers me the most is chameleon, and how you can't really fix that without literally not making him a villain. HIS WHOLE MOTIVATION is that is he is disabled, angry at the ableism, and changing himself due to that. and greed too i guess, but you can't really ingore the disability part, and i just look at how he is written. HE IS LITERALLY EVIL BECAUSE HE IS DISABLED... in text he has a facial difference (even if he is rarley drawn with it), a sleeping disorder, and of course, not being able to change his scales. its the most visible one in fact. he is kicked out from his kingdom literally because he is disabled, and he is angry, and finds the scroll, and does evil things or whatever. (and also has peril and is a questionable father).

I can't really describe how angry i am at his character existing. And you can't fix him! At best you could have rainwings with his disability who aren't evil, but even then, his motivation is that he is disabled, and its his primary motivation. It fuels his anger, its why he takes on multiple forms, its why he attacks Kinkajou, its probably why he tries to change Peril. < also greed, but im ignoring this on purpouse because it isnt relevant to the discussion and it doesn't erase the fact that his main motivation is that he is angry because he is disabled and how he changes himself into different dragons, and how he has distain for other rainwings, all that.

Why is it a problem? Well because it implies disability can make you evil and also even if we are symphatetic to Chameleon, there is no solution for his anger. The problems aren't fixed. And we never get another Rainwing character who can't change their scales. His evilness is tied to his disability, both of them connected. If one was to fix that, you would need to redeem him or not make him a villain in the first place, but then what is the point of his character. Its not just lack of reaserch or few things in poor taste, ITS HIS WHOLE CHARACTER!

And for the record, im not calling tui an evil horrible bigot, but she is not immune to bias. Its not just ableism of course, series has other issues, but its really really glaring.

Coming back to some characters; how Boa hides her disabilty, its of course of internalized ableism, but characters do not exist in a vaccum. Blind characters are commonly potrayed with cataracts (clody, foggy eyes), regardless of their actual type of blindess, or with something covering their eyes (like a blindfold). disabled characters are often killed off or not important to the narrative. While we do have few disabled protagonist, its after their pov, so we don't get a point of view of a character who is disabled.

Im probably missing something, but i think its enough things to say hey. Wings of Fire has ableism problem.

*also i didnt read book 15 or the guide so if im missing something else important im sorry i didnt really know

and i apologize if its written messy and has grammar and spelling mistakes and if i got something wrong but my point still stands even if i missed something or didnt explore somethings nuance entirely or got something wrong.

ok thats all . i think.

[lilyrealm]

i simply think it is so fun to imagine a world where a company makes a bunch of androids to assist people and provide companionship so they give the androids stories and release them in certain themes or lines and those androids are the genshin characters. credit to @yandere-daydreams for the idea. i love it so much. yes we all want x character to be our boyfriend or girlfriend and we have sex with them yes but i think its fun to imagine their roles when theyre not being yandere...

also the read more is very long i just went off about my ideas for most of the mondstadt characters. nothing wrong with me

if this is set in teyvats world imagine amber being like a gliding instructor in mondstadt. good engineer too, maybe the first bot that can fix other bots/have intricate knowledge of them (because she made baron bunny).

for human injuries theres barbara and jean, but with different temperaments for different patients. or if we're still set in teyvat, then jean (and the rest of the favonius knights characters) are actually android assistants to the actual human knights. basically the androids replace vision holders??

but yeah kaeya would also be a knight assistant, noelles story is she trains super hard but still isnt a knight (because shes made to help actual trainees!). lisa of course manages the library. yeah sorry thats it. makes tea

and i had the idea (this is all stolen from my own twitter thread from *checks* last year? anyway) that they would tease the release of bots like diluc, rosaria and razor through voicelines from kaeya, barbara and lisa. really like the idea of razor originally being some sort of surveillance android for wolvendom/integrating with them in some way for research and sort of became a guide for people who get lost in wolvendom.

diona and diluc are two different types of bartenders, one is good against people who cant say no to a cute (angry) kitty and the others... are those require some intimidation.

VENTI. god, i think itd be cool if they had prototype models for the seven archons and actual venti bots now definitely play into the "broke bard who plays for alcohol" thing. but of course anyone with eyes knows that his original model was the barbatos android.

oh!! and bennett and fischl being adventurers buddies. bennett is "unlucky" but hes actually like, wired to be hypervigilant and take hits for you while he shrugs it off. and fischl comes with oz if you need some chuuni speech translated, but you can disable that if you want to go full rp with her.

*looks at my thread* oh yeah "Albedo is made for the alchemists in the Knights, and he was meant to be released with Klee, but there was a delay because his ai kept experimenting on its own copies (Flowerfell Albedo?)" ngl i didnt play the albedo event and never bothered to watch a video so i dont know the full extent of his lore here. oh right and i added "sucrose is made to keep an eye on him in the labs" lmao

klee is. i suppose made for the knights. a cute energetic girl to keep morale up, whos fireproof and thus able to scout dangerous areas/bomb them if you so wish.

oh yeah i wrote that the church was not happy about the rosaria bots being made so they relegated her to guarding dragonspine against foolish adventurers. as to why she keeps appearing in bars, well, uh. No comment — Celestia Inc.

the lawrence clan wanted in on this business and sponsored a representative of their family, but mondstadts opinion of them is less than friendly, so the knights compromise and make eula, a lawrence knight.

whew okay for some reason i was able to churn out a lot for mondstadt and then everyone else i was like uh yeah. they exist and do things similar to what they do in game like xiangling being a cook's aide. yep. idk why the mondstadt worldbuilding gripped me so hard like that.

also my last thought is that maybe the hilichurls are just the verryyy alpha version of their bots, the khaenri'ah line (i think daydream mentioned this) and maybe just broke down and went rogue/abandoned. so now they make better bots to fight them and keep people safe. go figure. earns them a ton of cash though. lol imagine if getting them was a lottery too....

[mariejordans]

Have you considered being a nicer person? I just happen to be friends with the person you slagged off on your blog and you clearly didn't expect your post to get back to her, but it did, as a few people alerted her to your post. FYI, that wasn't her post, the thing you were attacking her over about Sam and Cate, that was submitted to her blog from somebody else from Reddit. Second, she's not a Stan, she has development disabilities and Sam is her special interest/emotional focus. He makes her happy, so of course she's only going to focus on him. Calling her a 'Mega Stan' is rather ableist on your part. She's also not a Cate stan. Why would you even think that? Cate hurt Sam. So maybe next time you want to attack disabled people on your blog, take two seconds to cool down, consider how your words may hurt people and just don't do it. Mkay? This fandom is small and it got back to her eventually, so just think about your actions next time please. You are very lucky she isnt the call out type, because she will never say anything on her blog about this, but at least some of us know your true colours. Consider your actions and check to see if your posts are hurtful.

first of all, as someone who is also neurodivergent, i apologize for my comments hurting your friend. it hasn’t and never will be my intention to attack disabled people on this blog, so i’m genuinely very sorry for that. to be honest, i did not know that your friend had developmental disabilities, so again, i apologize.

that being said, i believe you’re talking about this post i made almost a month ago? it was in response to this post just to be clear, because a few of your comments have me a bit confused. i’m not sure what you mean by “that wasn’t her post, that was submitted to her blog from somebody else from Reddit” when everything i was responding to in my original post were based on things that she did say in this post (which she published so it is her post) not the person who sent the ask or the redditor (who i actually agree with.)

secondly, i don’t have any issue or problem with sam being her special interest. it doesn’t bother me that most of what she posts is about sam. most of what i post is about marie or jordan, so i get it. there’s nothing wrong with sam being her sole focus.

what i DID have an issue with was the way that she constantly undermined marie in her post. marie moreau IS the main character of gen v. that’s not an opinion, it’s literally a fact. every single point that the person made in the reddit post is correct and your friend wrote an entire post trying to come up with excuses for that not to be true. it just comes across very odd to me that they wrote an entire post trying to undermine marie and her importance to the show.

and honestly, why does it bother her so much that marie is the main character or that other people think of her like that anyway? her being the main character doesn’t diminish or take away anything from the show or sam, so i genuinely don’t see the need to make a long post about how marie actually isn’t the main character.

you can like any character you want. you can dislike any character you want (although if you dislike marie, i do give you serious side-eye) but undermining one character’s importance for the sake of another, ESPECIALLY when said character happens to be a queer black woman that you discredit in favor of two cis white characters, that’s where i have a problem.

[nonbinarygamzee]

i think it is very interesting how people pick and choose which characters to sympathize with on the basis of being reduced to plot devices or being in general captives to their narratives. and obviously you dont have to like or give a shit about every character to exist especially not in a work so simultaniously dense and flat as homestuck, but i have both an intense interest in sociology and too much experience with how this fandom treats people for liking the "wrong" fictional children not to be eternally preoccupied with what makes these distinctions. when the character is liked, they are allowed the grace of being kind of poorly written; its the fault of the author, or theres some significant nudging about of their story beats to recontextualize them into something more nuanced and whole. by contrast, if the character is generally agreed upon to be uncharismatic, their personality flaws are inflated and the flatness of their writing is either erased in preference of integrating those authorial decisions into the characters personality (regardless of how glaringly contradictory) or more concerningly becomes a means of shutting down criticism on the basis nobody should care about the unserious/unwritten ones anyways.

interestingly, with gamzee in particular, ive found that people tend to do one or the other moreso than both; dont get me wrong, theres still a plethora of moralizing over peoples sympathy for This particular fictional child going on, obviously, thats basically the reason i am trapped here. but because gamzee is accepted as not a character but a plot device or an obstacle, a lot of people arent invested enough in her potential personhood to insist that the (antithetical) ways that she behaves are proof of her being "iredeemable". but they still have a negative emotional response to people having investment in her character. it isnt relevant whether or not shes a bad person, or whether she is being puppeteered, because her functionality in the world she exists in is to propagate the story and stand in opposition to its protagonists.

however as interesting as i think that is and for all i do think it says about an individual persons approach to homestucks presentation, i also cant ignore that that dichotomy only really started to Exist once it became less in vogue to harrass people for their character allegiences. in the same way, it seems like we as a fandom cannot escape the trap of being really, really weird about tavros every couple of years. skirting around some of the more blatantly ridiculous stuff because i do actually value my sanity a little bit, he is definitely one of the characters i first noticed people using critique as a pretense for passing judgement on people who liked or cared about him. again basically coinciding wiyh when it stopped being generally socially acceptable to just openly laugh about what a pathetic loser the disabled kid being humorously abused onscreen was. when ableism started to become a topic people cared about and disabled people and fans who related to tavros began to provide more in depth critique of the writing choices, and of fans, namely fans who made very light of his disability or who had a general refusal to talk about vriska's(and others but you know why its about her here) ableism, there was a massive uptick in people feeling the need to talk unprompted about how boring and shitty tavros is, questioning how anybody could like him when hes so badly written, etc. all in ways that did not try very hard to hide the fact that the concern about character writing was disingenuous and only really served the purpose of shutting down critiques of ableism in the fandom and comic. obviously this all seems to stem from investment in canonicity but i do notice it informs even the choices of people who approach their engagement in a "my city now" type of way. because the presentation of these characters impacts the wider perception, which impacts the ways people will deconstruct them. and this is why the idea that "homestuck doesnt have a canon" is a lie being sold to you for the sake of shutting down investigations od authorial motivation. was not intended to be epilogue snark but thatd as good a way to end this nonsense as anything else.

[panjakes]

GB CH.6 LHS

parings: Deer hybrid! Heeseung x black fem!reader

Genre: Fluff. crack: neighbors to lovers au; slow burn

warnings: Cursing, mentioning of boner

HYBED HYBRIDS MASTERLIST Prev Next

It had been a few days since Heeseung had ran out on Yn. The two hadnt seen or even heard from each other since that day.

"Yn! Help ypur father! you see he has one arm!" Yn's mom says causing the two to turn around

"Actually daddy told me to stop helping him because he's injured and not disabled" Yn says shrugging

"And I still have my arm Miranda, its just in a cast" Yn's father mumbles

"Whatever, I'm trying to make sure your comfortable" Her mother mumbles rolling her eyes

"Have you heard from Lee?"

"He has a first name Greogory, and No I'm pretty sure his wife would have told me if she heard from him"

Yn put two and two together and figured they were talking about Heeseungs parents

"What about their boy? How's he? Isnt he the same age as Yn?" Yn's da ask taking a seat on the couch

"Yeah he's grown so much he's a tall lanky thing. Yn has a little crush on him" Yn's mother says smirking

"MOM!" Yn shouts

"You didnt deny it, must be true" Her dad says smirking

"Dad! Dont entertain her!" Yn says now embarrassed

"Mhm they've been running around with each other lately" Her mom says embarrassing her even further

"Really? What they been doing?" He asks now looking back at his wife

"He bought a lego set for her and they put it together"

"Aint yall to old to be playing with legos?" Her dad asks making her mom laugh

"Mom! Dad! Would you stop!?" Yn asks

"I'll stop when you take this across the street" She says making the girls eyes go wide

"Why am I taking this across the street? I took it over there last week" Yn says

"Me and Mrs.Lee agreed to make each other baked goods everyweek" She says confusing her daughter and husband

"Since when?" The two ask causing the older women to roll her eyes

"Since last week now put cha shit on and take it across the street" She says making her husband

"Since when did you become so domestic?" He asks

"Gregory...dont start" She says making the man stop and look at his daughter

"You better take that lil box over there before ya mama get mad" He says making the girl sigh. Sliding her feet into her black crocs, she made her way out the door and across the street.

Heeseung sat by the window in his livingroom. Looking out the window he seen yn making her way across the street to his house. He immediately jumps up from the couch and sprints to his room confusing his mother who gave him a look as he ran by.

Her question was soon answered when the doorbell rung. Going to open it she smiles at the sight of yn

"Hi yn, how are you?" She asks pulling her into the house(much to her dismay)

"I'm fine Mrs.Lee momma made red velvet brownies?" Yn asks looking at the container of red shaped bars

"Ou my favorite! You know your moms baking is so good?" She asks making the girl giggle

"Yeah daddy's been her taste tester ever since he got home" She says making the women go wide eye and put her hand in front of her mouth as she bit into the baked good

"Ah your dad is home! How is he?" She asks

"He's fine. His arm is in a cast" yn says

"well I'm glad his home. Heeseungs father comes home in about two weeks" She says making the girl nod.

"Speaking of, Heeseungs in his room" She says making yn shake her head

'Uh no I just came to give you the de-" She starts but is cut off by Mrs.Lee shouting

"HEESEUNG!! YN"S HERE FOR YOU!" She screams before looking back at yn with a smile

"I-" Yn starts just to be cut off again

"He's in his room" She says pushing the girl up the stairs. Yn sighs wlaking closer to heeseung's closed door

Yn sighs as she gets to Heeseungs door. She knocks on the door only to hear rumbling behind the door. a few minutes later Heeseung opens the door clearly out of breath

“Uh hey Hee” Yn says

“Hey yn, wanna come in?” He asks pointing to the room

“Yeah sure” Yn says walking into room and sitting on the bed.

She looks around the familiar room as Heeseung ranges through his closet. Soon Heeseung comes out showing her a Lego set

“I was waiting for dad to come home so we can put it together but we can put it together now” Heeseung says making Yn eyes go wide

“Oh! You can put it together with your dad! I don’t wanna intrude” Yn says

“I-I wanna put it together with you” Heeseung says making Yn smile

“Okay, let’s get started” Yn says moving too the floor

Looking at the box Yn noticed it was suppose to be a jungle with a bunch of jungle animals

“I snatched these for you” Yn says pulling out a sandwich bag with a few of her mothers red velvet brownies l. Heeseung snatches the bag from Yn putting one into his mouth humming at the taste

“Mm! Dese are su gud” Heeseung says making Yn smile

“Yeah, I helped make them” she says opening the box of legos

“No wonder they taste so delicious” Heeseung says making Yn giggle

Yn spills the legos over the plush carpet and her and Heeseung start to make small talk and put the legos together

“Bambi?” Yn says making heeseungs ears twitch at the nickname he hadn’t heard in a while

“Yes bubbles?” He says focusing on the Lego tree he was building

“Why’d you run away from me the other day?” Yn asks making Heeseung freeze. He looks up at Yn who’s head was down. Her faux fell in front of her face but Heeseung could see the sadness in her eyes

“Is it something I said or did?” She asks making Heeseung scoot closer to her.

“No. It wasn’t you. You didn’t do anything wrong at all” Heeseung says

“So what was wrong? Was it something to do with your dad?” She asks making Heeseung shake his head

“I-It was you” he says making yn frown

“But you just said it wasn’t me? I’m confused?” Yn says attaching a Lego to another

“To be honest yn…you’re really really pretty sand you smell really really good” Heeseung says fiddling with his hands. He scoffs outtinf his face into his hands

“Gosh this is so embarrassing…you make me feel…” Heeseung says trying to find the right words so he doesn’t sound weird

“Aroused?” Yn asks making the deer freeze

“How’d yoh know?” He asks

“I don’t, I just took a guess from the way you ran away from me” Yn says making Heeseung grain and close his eyes

“This can’t get any worse than this, this is so embarrassing” Heeseung says shaking his head, ears dropping in embarrassment.

“Hey, don’t feel embarrassed it’s normal” Yn says patting his leg

“Really?” Heeseung asks

“Definitely, we’re 18 nothing to feel embarrassed about” Yn says offering him a smile

“You don’t think I’m weird?” He asks

“Of course not, your still my Bambi” Yn says placing a hand on the nape of his neck. Heeseung smiles softly at the feeling leaning into her hand

“What time is it?” Heeseung asks

“It’s about 6, why?” Yn asks

“We should continue to put this together, mom starts dinner around 7 wanna stay?” Heeseung asks hoping she’d say yes

“Of course” Yn says smiling

“I knew it! I told you!” Daniel says throwing a Pringle at Yn

“Yeah whatever, don’t rub it in” Yn says rolling. Her eyes

“Aw that’s cute, he gets hard at the sight of you” he chuckles making Yn go wide eyes

“Can you stop!?” She whisper shouts

“What? I’m Telling the truth, that just shows how beautiful you are” Daniel says

“You are so embarrassing” Yn says

“Did you kiss?” He asks making Yn roll her eyes

“Danny…stop” she says

“What it’s a serious question? Like when are y’all going to get together? What’re you waiting for?” Daniel asks

“I’m waiting on what you waiting on” Yn says making the boy freeze

“What do you mean?” He asks looking at her from his peripheral

“I’m waiting on you to ask out the benz” Yn says smirking

“I don’t know what your talking about” he says throwing one of her throw blankets on his body

“Oh you know what I’m talking, I’m talking about Miss Mercedes-benz” she says pinching his thigh

“I do not like Mercedes!” He whispers slapping her hand away

“Your right. You don’t like her…cause you love her” she says making kissing noises which soon turned to laughter

“Shut the hell up Yn, that’s why Heeseung popped a boner when he hugged you” Daniel says shoving her but she continued her laughter

Whew I had too get back too this series. I missed writing for it. Chapter 7 will be on @brownsugarbaybee’s blog so follow her to be updated

[kitana-coldfire]

i love your fic so much. really heavy on explanatory dialouge which isnt super common for me but i dont mind it because it really aloows the reader to crawl into lusi's head and understand exactly why shes presenting how she is and also inspires that same intruige that logan has that makes them want to know in the first place. that companion art piece really drives home exactly why all the characters are so adamant about them getting together at some point soon. i like the way both lusi and logan wrestle with parts of themselves that they dont want crawling back out without defining it as not a part of them - while lusi in the later chapters was under the influence and not well, shes very firm about just how skewed her direction has been and how she's allowed it to get there. really like the way the fic grapples with the question of bodily autonomy for someone who is not only physically disabled but also mentally struggling and at risk. 10/10 awesome fic hope its ok i came into ur ask box abt it. also fucking LOVE your take on Logan might suck up some of it for my own writing not like. not to say rahhh im going to copy your shit just that i really admire how you construct him as impulsive but considerate and also that he was a fucking douche of a teen really really like that writing choice

First of all AAAAAH thank you for reading <333

This fic has been so much fun to write and I'm always so fucking honored people actually like it ;w;

Lusi's my darling gremlin but I'm really REALLY looking forward to finally being able to get into Logan's head soon. He's got so much to him canonically as a character and writing through his eyes has been such an interesting experience!

[idcpxseur]

i want more laurance thoughts pretty please

OKAY BUT YOU ASKED FOR IT

My thoughts on Laurence Zvhal

soft warning for aaron slander. im not really slandering him im just sharing my conspiracy theories. ALSO THIS BITCH IS LONGGGG AND THERES SO MUCH RAMBLIGN GOD HELP

god i love him so bad... thats the main thing i wanna get cleared up right the fuck away. i love him SOSO bad and i think jesson uses him completely inappropiately and im stealing him. okay? hes my oc now.

this is also a warning, i havent refreshed completely with my mcd knowledge and mystreet is more fresh in my mind so if i say something wrong about a plot point be nice to me im doing my best im a little guy with a dissociative disorder so i forget shit

aaalllrighty where the hell do i begin?

okay so first off, right off the bat: when he got back from the nether in mcd, he should've been blind. because

disability representation. blindness isnt something that can just be cured unless you get touched by jesus christ himself (im not religious but i think thats in the bible lol) and it something that impacts millions of people on the daily. exposing that to young kids can introduce them to the fact that not everybody is just like them and that people come in many different shapes and sizes. and it ofc helps anyone who happens to be blind have a chracter to relate to and project on.

do YOU KNOW HOW COOL IT WOULD BE FOR A BLIND KNIGHT? like fighting is a very visual skill for the most part you need to see your opponents sword to properly dodge it or you are good and truly fucked. so taking something integral to fighting and ripping it away gives another great chance for character development as well as some really sick ass scenes where laurence goes all toph and uses his senses that are now firing at all cylinders and kicks total ass

ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST!! like. laurence is a very visual guy, right? he sees pretty ladies to flirt with, he's a knight, he cares about his looks. so now he has all of that pretty much ripped away from him in an instant. what the fuck is he supposed to do? he flounders. hes a shell of his former self, in a way. like hes still there, hes still alive, but is he even laurence anymore? its something he has to learn to embrace and come to terms with. the main cast could also be super encouraging for him and basically is like "hey dude youre still the same fuckin awesome guy and you can still do all these fucking awesome things you just gotta learn how to do it again"

itd make for some cool relationship building between him and garroth or him and zoey or him and aphmau or even like him and cadenza. it gives him external relationships outside of just aphmau's love interest

JESUS FUCK I YAPPED A LOT ABOUT LAURENCE BEING BLIND OKAY

i think giving laurence (in both mcd and mystreet) jealousy/possessiveness issues is lame and a total turn off. like its such a gross thing to tell to kids, no? like "hey kids if you love someone they are ENTITLED to love you back and they CANT be in love with someone else"

obviously this behavior is still shut down but still... like why include it? especially because, prior to him falling in love, he seemed to be just a completely chill dude who only gets angry if he needs to. but suddenly hes mass slaughtering people at weddings (mcd), stalking his love interest because he saw her talking with another guy (mystreet), giving aphmau the cold shoulder because she is either indecisive or loses interest in him (this goes in both series i believe)

like it just gives you such an ick and obviously i know why they did this. i will say this until the day they put me in the damn ground its because of motherfucking aaron becoming a love interest. i have zero issues with aaron as a character and i even like him as a character (i have redeemed myself. i used to hate him) but as a love interest i think hes the worst thing to happen to every series because he just simply destroys any male character who had the potential to be shipped with aphmau which was all of them

were moving to mystreet here because mystreet is the best and most glaring example of this because mystreet was after they had decided to make aarmau canon in mcd and you can tell because of the way they set up laurence and garroth.

lemme explain and yes i know this is deviating from strictly laurence a tad but stay with me

im not going to use pdh because pdh was written after mystreet based off of the fact that for some reason travis doesnt know aphmau???? despite them being best friends in pdh??? WHATEVER WHWATEVER NOT THE POINT OKAY. were also going to completely disregard the undercurrent of grooming for aarmau and were going to pretend like this relationship is normal and not at all weird. okay? okay.

so from the moment you first meet laurence and garroth, you can tell their vibes are off. theyre openly hostile with each other (even if its playful theyre still "competeing" for her), theyre trying to shove each other out of the way. it makes them seem unlikeable. every time theyre on screen theyre talking to her or about her (often times planning on stalking her or getting irrationally jealous because they heard something through the grapevine) and it just turns the viewer off. if youre a first time viewer without any preconcieved notions of these character you're thinking "wow thats creepy. why would she stay friends with them? why would she bother sticking around her if all they want is a relationship out of her and not a genuine friendship?" and if you happened to watch mcd first youre thinking "wow is this how theyre really like? wow i dont like them at all anymore" and then you go to mcd and see their worst traits being ramped up and amplified to make them even more unlikable

and then you see aaron

in mcd hes a silent protector. hes always by aphmau's side. hes her one true loyal knight even when she does something he doesnt like. they understand eachother in ways that laurence and garroth just dont

in mystreet hes her guard dog. hes always there to step in when shes uncomfortable. hes her secret best friend her home away from home. he makes her feel loved in such a way that laurence garroth never could since theyve only ever cared about her superficially and not in any way that really, truly mattered

it makes the audience cling to him. it makes them think "well fuck why did the other guys even try hes obviously perfect for her" it blinds them of any other potential option because jesson just didnt give any other opportunity to shine through.

and thats fine. thats completely fine they can do whatever the hell they want to with their series because as one creative to another sometimes you just gotta make your bed and lie in it knowing that not every bitch out there is going to like every creative decision you make.

as a viewer it just.... it just makes you feel dissatisfied. leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, especially given the fact that in mcd you were basically told "these are your two options for love interests" and then a third love interest swoops in seemingly out of nowhere, gets her pregnant, and then he fucking dies.

in mystreet it just like... ugh. i dont know. i guess i feel happy for them because i can see their development. but like me personally i cant really feel shit for ms aarmau simply because of pdh and the FUCKING WEIRDNESS OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP

sorry this, once again, turned into a rant about how aaron's introduction as a love interest fucking ruined everything (my words, not anyone elses)

to sum up this long, long, long post my thoughts on laurence are as follows: i think hes written very poorly in mystreet and severely mishandled in mcd. i think that he had the potential to be very interesting in both series if used properly and he couldve had more intersting things happen to him in terms of the love interest department.

i think hes a character that gets the a lot of the character assassination tirade that jesson went on and i wish we got to see more of him but unfortunately we never will since you know his va left.

but most importantly:

hes my pookie wookie booboo bear and i love him so bad and im going to shake him and bite him and rip him to shred

well... i hope you got what you wanted. i have emptied all of my thoughts about laurence

[newvegascowboy]

10, 17, 18, 24, 34, 39, and 60 for Red, Cecelia, Lafayette, and Killian. Hier sind Kekse (gave you lots because you said you were bored).

Thank you!! Most under a cut for length

10. What langauges do they speak?

Red - English, Legion Latin (being different than classical latin as Legion latin is much more of a living langauge and i imagine some aspects of it have been warped by ~30 years of imperfect teaching materials and tutors). Red also speaks a little spanish - enough to get by, but their accent is atrocious.

Cato - english and latin; various code langauges that he developed

Killian - english and sign language

Cecelia - english and a handful of spanish, some latin

Lafayette - just english

17. Do they have a day job/how do they make a living?

Red - After returning to the mojave, Red still occasionally does courier work, but mostly they work on a ranch they buy, located just outside Goodsprings. They ranch various animals, some brahmin, some bighorners. The majority of their time is spent working with horses. A great deal of money was stashed away before the secons battle of hoover dam that Red collects upon their return, so they don't necessarily need to work - they just enjoy it.

Cecelia - After the second battle, Cecelia remains in the mojave with a handful of followers. She goes to work at an outpost/settlement away from vegas, where she works as a doctor.

Cato - following the defeat of the Legion, Cato remains to assist Cecelia and the followers. He works mainly as a guard, occasionally going out to root out the legion remnants in the mojave.

Killian - when he isnt traveling collecting and selling scrap, he goes from settlement to settlement to check their defenses and work construction.

Lafayette - Lafayette grew up on a ranch, so she's very comfortable with manual labor. She enjoys the work.

18. Do they have any disabilities, mutations, or implants / enhancements? Do they have any chronic illnesses?

Red - oh boy. Red's got a lot of these LOL.

I consider Red to be minorly mutated; higher muscle density and able to function in high heat for longer than a non mutated human. Their body can tolerate a much higher internal temperature/fever than normal.

Red has a bum knee from being thrown from a horse sometime in their 20s. They're mostly deaf in their left ear, and after being shot in the head, blind in their left eye. They later receive a cybernetic prosthetic eye from the think tank, along with the artificial heart and spine.

Cecelia - also minorly mutated, since she's a lowkey psyker. She can predict shots in a fight, and tends to know the status of certain people without being able to see them. She can suffer from pretty severe migraines that knock her out for days at a time as a result.

Killian - From all his numerous injuries, Killian suffers chronic pain. It's part of why he uses psycho and med-x. He also has the usual joint pain just from being In His 40s

Lafayette - Lafayette got kicked in the head by a horse as a kid. This resulted in a form of epilepsy.

24. Do they have a romantic partner or partners?

Red - Red has lots of whirlwind and failed romances. I toy with shipping them with both Cato and Lafayette.

Cecelia - Cecelia was married to a man named Will and rhe marriage ended when he was killed. I enjoy the idea of shipping her with Julie Farkas (and oc ship with your Sweetjane)

Cato - None other than potential shipping with Red. I can also see him with Cecelia.

Killian - formerly Nora; they were separated before the war and then she was killed. No other ships (except oc ship with sweetjane)

Lafayette - none other than potential shipping with Red

34. What armor/clothing do they typically wear?

Red - Blue cotton shirt with denim jeans/chaps and a long leather duster/bandolier. Red very rarely wears actual armor (usually only as disguise).

Cecelia - long, loose shirts and belted skirts or pants. Combat boots. Big hat. Occasionally a lab coat.

Cato - typically Legionary garb with articulated leather armor on his left arm. After he leaves the Legion, he transitions into sturdy work clothes, leather armor. He's kind of uncomfortable and unused to new clothes but he wants to fit in.

Killian - usually tanktops and cargo pants. Sometimes sweaters and sweats if he wants to be comfy. If he's really serious, he wears leather armor painted in the Minutemen colors.

Lafayette - collared shirts, sturdy ranch pants or overalls. Sunglasses and scarves. She has some NCR armor she wears if she needs to, but the colors are scrubbed off.

39. What is their favorite song?

Oh lord. Im terrible at picking favorites. Genre instead lmao.

Red- red doesn't have a favorite, but they have a most hated which is Big Iron. They like anything they can play on guitar.

Cecelia- she likes things that are fast and hard and loud.

Cato- Cato doesn't really listen to music.

Killian- killian listens to like. Dad rock. Soft rock. And classical.

Lafayette- country western, bluegrass.

60. Are they religious/spiritual?

Red - Red is catholic every Sunday. Not necessarily out of genuine belief in christianity, but because Red thinka everyone needs to believe in something. Regardless, they carry a rosary and hold it whenever theyre feeling particularly thoughtful.

Cecelia - Cecelia is somewhat jaded. She's not necessarily spiritual. She thinks that what she knows for certain is more important than any potential god or heaven.

Cato - Cato wants to believe in something, but the last time he believed in something it burned him. He doesn't know if anything is worth believing in anymore.

Killian - killian grew up with religious parents and got married in a Lutheran church, but he doesn't really care too much about spirituality. He does believe in hell, and thinks he's going there when he dies, but that's a problem for him then.

Lafayette - Lafayette is pretty agnostic. She could take it or leave it. Still, there are some things that she cant explain and doesn't know how.

[pigeon-toes-oc]

[Misc Info + Backstory]

Grimm "Reaper" [Real name; Aurelia Caldwell]

• She/Her

• 26

• 6'1 without her boots on, 6'3 with

• Bounty hunter and occasional muscle for hire

• Big ass ego

• If you want literally anything from her that isnt offered freely you Will pay

• A cheapskate when spending

• Bastard woman!!!

• Southern US accent

• Incredibly notorious umong the wanted; its said that the moment you see a black hood and red hair, you may as well be in a cell already

• Doesn't kill, but because people have died around her other ways, most people think she does (hence her nickname, the Reaper)

• Very accurate aim!! Can easily disable target's movement without hitting lethal veins

• An absolute sucker for cute ladies

• Weak to tears [ONLY if she likes you]

Backstory:

An orphan from a small town who ran away at around 10, ending up on the streets and somehow crossing paths with a well-known bounty hunter- Aesop

Followed him around for a while while he was in-town, and stowed away in his vehicle while he was distracted, with the idea that he's the most likely to take her far away from there

When he found her, he nearly threw her out, but his conscience got the better of him and he ended up taking care of her, first as just a random kid who he pitied enough to let follow him, but later as his daughter

She learned everything she knows from him!

Including how to read and write, which she's still not too fond of

She does have a "real" name, but only her dad is allowed to call her it. Her name "Grimm" comes from Grimm's fairytales, as opposed to Aesop's fables

Later in life, maybe 7 years ago, Aesop got a permanent injury bad enough that he decided to retire for good

So nowadays, Grimm takes care of him.

Theoretically, half of her money goes to her dad, but she likes to send more... which is why she hates to spend so much.