#everything was so quiet 😭
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me: i know my anxiety is really bad but i have an okay handle on it :)
me after the hospital gave me some anxiety medication to help calm my nerves: oh wow
#YALL#yalll i could breathe#like. on my own???#i went into a procedure on my own??? and didnt cry???#like holy shit#everything was so quiet 😭#the world is so much brighter when ur brain isnt constantly telling u a sore throat means ur dying#ritz rambles#cw hospitals
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oc time
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#some quick oc drawing#just wanted to give them a bit different younger look this time#i cant draw these days nothing works out and maybe cuz I dont have the time to actually sit down and draw and just let myself enjoy it#cuz i always have to hurry or have other things to do#rl things sucks everything is so busy rn i want some quiet 😭#my art#eldrtchmn#their name is Rua 🫶 my oldest brain child!
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Well, at least Fukuzawa got his wish granted, I guess.... he's finally inside Fukuchi <3
#bungou stray dogs#bsd spoilers#bsd 120.5#please laugh i know i made myself laugh.... if only to keep from crying lol#the oocification of Fukuzawa will be studied in the history books for years to come#that's not my fukuzawa...... that's his discount twin fucksack#because his dick is so far up the ass of his dead pathetic dumbass crusty ex boyfriend it's not even funny#he is dickriding that fucker HARD#and here i thought the FANDOM woobified fukuchi out the wazoo. but oh my god no fukuzawa himself has them all beat this chapter#man is coco for cocopuffs and babying that grown-ass man like he's 5#it's truly pathetic and depressing to see i'm just beyond words#'you deceived him by keeping quiet the issues that would plague a union of mankind' NO??? LITERALLY ANYONE WITH A BRAIN WOULD KNOW#THAT THAT WOULD NEVER FUCKING WORK???? THAT IT'S THE STUPIDEST MOST NAIVE PLAN AND VIEW OF THE WORLD IMAGINABLE????#WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS IS A TODDLER INSTEAD OF A GROWN-ASS SOLDIER WITH YEARS OF MILITARY EXPERIENCE#Fyodor feels like the only one at this point that hasn't truly lost the plot in all this...... the only one with a goddamn brain#I HATE THAT I HAVE TO AGREE WITH HIM!!!!!!!!! I HATE THAT IT FELT SO CATHARTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!#and i hate even more that the series clearly doesn't want us to agree with him and instead believe that fukuzawa is still right#even though he was spouting the most naive braindead bullshit imaginable that early series Fukuzawa would NEVER SAY#WHAT ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN BRO??? WHY DO YOU CARE MORE ABOUT DEFENDING THE HONOR OF THAT CRUSTY MF THAN#THE SAFETY OF YOUR KIDS????#WHERE DID ALL YOUR INTELLIGENCE GO#i fucking hated the writing ever since fukuchi's plan/motives were first revealed and it was played completely straight (and gay lol)#but to hear fukuzawa actually come out and defend that ridiculous bs is just.......... again i have no words#it's insane. what happened. what happened to you fukuzawa. all i can do is laugh it's so sad it's so stupid. I WAS CRINGING SO BAD.#and was so glad when he finally died so he finally SHUT THE FUCK UP. i hate it here. i miss when BSD was good so bad man 😭😭😭#it would be one thing if it felt like he's so deep in grief that he's completely deluded himself that fukuchi was right and had pure motive#and wasn't an idiotic piece of shit himself just like fyodor#but nah again it just feels like we're supposed to side with him lmao even though fyodor was exactly right in everything he said#when your villain sounds more intelligent/correct than your hero and that's not an intentional writing choice..... that's not good bros!!!#anyway may your stupidity be purified in the soul of your dead bf fukuzawa 🙏 and we get the true you back
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Just realised my bright morning drives to work are going to fade away in to darkness and cold again. Day ruined
#the price we pay for pretty autumn leaves and foggy quiet mornings :((#it’s been nice to watch the seasons change#I drive through the same wooded areas to get to work#just watched the cows and sheep and everything live their lives#I’ve had much worse commutes#I started this job in winter when the commute was completely black#and I got to watch the sun slowly rise over the course of weeks#I saw some very beautiful sunrises#like deep purples and fiery reds#so maybe I can try to focus on seeing those again instead 😭
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I want to befriend Kaneki and meet with him and email him forever
#we should do everything together everything should be parallel play#and then when we go our separate ways at the end of the day I want to still email him things#like pictures of succulents and a glimpse under the amazon river#I want to email him pbs eons videos#I can show him coffee shop vlogs and ask “is this u”#in person I’d mostly let him do the talking and decide what to do#take me down the most intimidating alley on a whim after you said we were just buying lunch pls#I want to eat lunch with him so bad 😭😭😭🙏#it’d be kind of awkward though bc he wouldn’t be eating anything he’d just be sipping his coffee#being with Kaneki is the ultimate dream I wanna see his morning irritation I want to be pleasantly startled by him with his quiet footsteps#& get to ask him about what he’s reading#or how his training is going#or whatever he’s doing#I would ask him how he’d rate vacuuming out of 10 and if he gives it below a 5 will vacuum his house#I feel like he’d lie though and say he likes doing every kind of work just to stop others from doing it#unless he wasn’t in a state where he’s able to actively think about others like that#he should stop doing things and jsut relax imagine taking him on a nice tour trip up mount Fuji that would b nice#stay in a cabin make a snowman clap for him when he skis#he was so good at skiing in the TG calendar?!?? who taught him to ski#did he read “idiots guide to skiing” a day before and absorb all the knowledge like a sponge#he’s so smart. I wish I was smart. or at least smart in an applicable way#I want to try harder but I kind of can’t#or I get sort of frozen by something and can’t find a way forward unless I scurry around it (no one wants u to do this)#I love Kaneki he’s both literally and kind of metaphorically half human and I am too so if we combine we’ll have the power of one full human#we can be human if we stand close enough together#idk he might not want to stand next to me tho he has better options#kaneki time
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“calliope, you’re here… nobody’s ever here” “i’m here now, i’m here forever” 😭
#these sisters are everything to me !!!!#is there anything more complicated than sisters#!!!!#god im sobbing#all I want for cyra is a chance at redemption#a chance at a quiet life with her sister 😭#I want it for callie so badly#naddpod#naddpod spoilers#ba2mia#naddpod lb#calliope petrichor#cyra
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need nct in fortnite now jebal
#⠀ᶻᶻ⠀talktalk⠀#like why stop at one emote#for 127 i wantt sticker mv outfits. hats and tassels and everything#dream.. ISTJ OMFGGGGG and an emote to recreate that scene of mark being dragged off 😭#wayv is hard ermm. but i want blonde cowboy kun so. give me that!!!!#i want sticker fact check walk chewing gum carat cake moonwalk up from here t7s jam trackss 😭😭#@epicgames quiet down box emote ? 😏
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#OFFING MYSELF WHY AM I SO STUPID OMG#at my chem recitation and there’s this guy i recognize from my success course last sem but i had the feeling he didn’t like me#it was just vibes you know what i mean#typing this from the bathroom rn there’s this girl sighing next to me ugh she knows what’s up oh nvm she’s shitting i gotta go#okay i’m out now so I SIT NEXT TO HIM BC I GOT ASSIGNED THERE#AND HE HANDS ME THE SIGN IN SHEET AND WE’RE ASSIGNING OURSELVES INTO TWO TEAMS#he wrote his name and i thought he hated me so i put my name in the other team. guess what i was supposed to do. not that#so we had to erase EVERYONE’S NAMES bc of ME and he was so nice about it 😭😭😭😭😭#i talk really quiet and he couldn’t hear me bc he’s hard of hearing so he leaned in and AGAHAHG HE LOOKS LIKE HAWKS IF HE WAS A SURFER#so then i sat there feeling sorry and frazzled the whole time#we’re in the same major and everything he said he’s great at bio but awful at chem and i’m the opposite#so now i have to do my makeup 3/4 days of the week bc i don’t have class on fridays#i love making good decisions and having reasonable priorities#and i have to get good at bio or i will be so embarrassed#i thought men didn’t exist in my major
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can they finally drop some more news about tr4-6 remastered? especially anything about traod:r and how it looks like?
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#personal#we got like one teaser with maybe 3 shots of traod from probably unfinished version#one screenshot of traod and leaked achievements and thats all we've got 😭#i really hate how quiet they are about it and just in general and then boom they will drop everything into one article#they did drop more info in last january for tr1-3 so I'm hoping they'll do the same for the next ones
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hi! oh my goodness. i am SO sorry i didn’t say anything earlier. i did read everything a couple days ago, and i Have been chewing on it, rotating it in my mind, etc etc…..and the graphic has been my phone lockscreen since i first read it!!!!!
frankly i am obsessed and have also been a little frazzled this month lol. saw your post late because of the general whirlwind that is december and then couldn’t quite get my thoughts into sufficient words n got worried “oh no would it be weird to say something now…..” which is incredibly silly in retrospect, so sorry for that.
i’m relatively new to hockey fandom and the Narratives don’t always quite click for me (yet, at least :)) because i don’t know all of the lore for a lot of the popular pairings haha, so it means a lot that you’ve taken time out of your day to break things down for me and share your own thoughts <3 tysm. again, super sorry for the delayed response. i’m very sorry if you felt as though you’d wasted your time or something along those lines :’) just wanted to let you know that i really appreciate you and the time it took you to get everything down and make the graphic!!!! and like i can’t overstate how much your tags both over here and on your other blog have helped me to Get It since the start of this season, so thank you.
but now the house is quiet, the in-laws are gone, and no new work stuff until january :) so i can finally get some stuff down. every point you brought up hits in it own way but gosh you are very incredibly right the mcstrome of it all…..that’s sort of the lens i’ve been listening to the song through since you mentioned it.
the golden boy and the “draft bust” and the ever present notion of “isn’t it all about old friends? like everything? all of it?”. like idk looking back on a bestfriendship from when you were a teenager that was Super intense and the lines were blurred and maybe realizing (if you hadn’t had the words or the “guts” or awareness or wtv to put a name to it at that point in your life) that y’all were a smidge more than just friends.
best friends forever until you just aren’t! growing up and growing apart. it’s just the way things go but it can and will ache for a damn long time! you think you’re over it until their birthday or the holidays roll around and you wonder in a distant sort of way who they’re spending it with. what you would’ve hypothetically gotten them as a present if you still spoke. what do they even like nowadays, anyway?
maybe having the friendship end subtly. going from playing and traveling together and living in one another’s pockets to 2,080 miles of distance? (i may have my timeline/details confused here so sorry in advance) texting as much as you can at first but he’s a phenom he’s mcjesus he’s the next in line he’s expected to win the cup with his new team and end the drought for Canada. and they have him now but he was yours first, wasn’t he? but it’s fine. because you’re busy too. you’re captaining the team now. you’re gonna get the memorial cup that he couldn’t. it’s fine. you’re fine. you don’t even have time to worry about it anyway.
one conversation a week turns to one a month turns to once in a blue moon turns to stale words until it goes cold. these days you can’t quite seem to remember who ended things, but does it really matter all that much now?
or maybe it doesn’t end like that at all. maybe it ends in a flurry of angry words and digs in some or other of the endless hotel rooms you’ve shared together over the years. who knows!
and that’s not even getting into the rest of the 2015 draft class. or the ld19 of it all! ooh hoo hoo. you grew up with him but he’s not your waiting room. he grew up with you but he’ll grow “old” (end his career) with someone else. and isn’t that just something!
i don’t think it’s totally them, but sort of the sentiment of “I hope you get everything you ever wanted and I hope I never hear a word about it.” I want one ticket off of your carousel!!!! merry christmas, please don’t call!!!!!!!
dylan being sent up and down and traded around until finally landing in washington, a place where he is clearly at home and LOVED for the guy and player he is!!!!!!!! watching a game and seeing all the strome jerseys in the crowd……..wagh.
all that said. some other songs that are mcstrome to me in various ways: hot & heavy by lucy dacus (lol kinda the whole song). before the world was big by girlpool (“i just miss how it felt standing next to you wearing matching [jerseys? sweaters?] before the world was big”). happiness by Taylor swift (“i guess it’s the price i pay for seven years in heaven”), cut your bangs by radiator hospital (maybe? possibly? unsure. i like the whole dog thing there). i’m so glad i feel this way about you by insignificant other (!!!!!). there are so many THEM lyrics in there……..waough.
anyway. other things off the top of my head: 2015 connor specifically saying something like “hey let’s wait a minute so we can see this” to stand by the stage when dylan was getting drafted after him. MAN. you reminded me of the fact that they couldn’t even make eye contact at the handshake line!!!!!!!!! they didn’t go to each other’s weddings!!!!!!!!!! (do you think once upon a time they ever thought they’d being each other’s best man?). just a couple months ago dylan liking the tweet of connor getting that goal during the playoffs!!!!!!!! makes you wonder if he texted him………..
lol this was all over the place and i was probably wrong on some things and there’s SO much more that someone else could say way more eloquently, but i digress. i dunno everything about them is so nuts to me!!!!! needless to say i will be incredibly sat for the game january 21 🙂↕️
thank you again for your time :) hope you have a good one and a happy rest of the holiday season! <3333333
what a lovely message to receive 🥰😭🥹 i had to break it up into chunks because i couldn't sit down to read all of it at once without just. bouncing right back up and shrieking. i am also at heart terribly shy so i understand the struggle but it is never too late to say something <3 you are always welcome here
first!!! i love sharing!! i think most of hockey tumblr loves to see people finding out the Lore for the first time and the wonderful thing about hockey is that. it keeps going on. so there's years and years and generations and generations and always something new to learn about. i've learned to just not be afraid to ask!!! between different teams and players i'm always discovering new narratives (learning about the sharks old man yaoi rn... cbj rarepairs...)
no... to my heart's despair... you have the timeline right. i think in the best most tragic sense there's a mcstrome narrative where it is truly that nothing went wrong. the love was there. we couldn't do enough to save it because we didn't see it slipping away. i didn't notice when you didn't call until you never did. i don't know you now but i still remember when i did, do you?
HE'S NOT YOUR WAITING ROOM?? passing out. i do see "i hope you get everything you ever wanted and i hope i never hear a word about it" as them because!! they didn't go to each other's weddings!!! i don't wish you harm but i'm not going to put myself through that!! i hope you're happy and i'm never going to look on purpose.
i love dylan strome so much and the best part is that they all love him so much too. he wore a cool vintage ovechkin jacket!! and got slapped in the face with a tortilla!! he loves to gently rag on the rookies!! it just takes some time, everything'll be just fine. you're only on the middle of the ride.
OKAY WHEN I READ THIS PART I SCREAMED BECAUSE I DO HAVE A MCSTROME PLAYLIST AND!!!! HOT & HEAVY BY LUCY DACUS IS IN FACT ON IT!!! SO IS CUT YOUR BANGS (BUT BY GIRLPOOL SO DOUBLE JINX)!!!! i have dorothea by taylor swift on there but i don't know happiness so i'll have to give all the other songs a listen. mostly i just shrieked because i was like NO YOU GOT THE VIBES EXACTLY
🧠〰️🧠 truly the mind meld happening here. the handshake line. the mutual wedding non-invitations. i won't block your number or your name on twitter i just hope i don't see it come up on screen!! i do think that we got confirmation the last time they played each other that dylan did text him to say congrats on a milestone but i would have to check the archives
p.s. i think you said it perfectly eloquently :) what matters is that you said it at all and i was delighted to read it 💕
#liv in the replies#HI HI HI HELLO!!! IT'S SO NICE TO HEAR FROM U i hope u have a lovely quiet end of the year <3 with lots of time to rest & find ur own joy#& YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE SORRY!!!! <33333 ANY MESSAGE IS A GOOD ONE!!! WHEN I TELL YOU I 🥹💕😭☺️🥰🦋💕💗‼️‼️❣️❣️ UPON RECEIVING THIS HEARTS FOR THU#ALSO IMPORTANT😭😭 I DIDN'T MEAN TO GUILT TRIP U I HOPE U DIDN'T TAKE IT THAT WAY i personally just. need to work on reblogging my own stuff#i hate reblogging my own fic announcements even so i was like listen this is for ME because EYE want it here and that's FINE. ok brain???#and also i think i have just accepted the slide that there WILL be hrpf here mostly because i keep tagging it but i always don't want to#plug this blog over on cbpc-hrpf or anything bc do you really need to follow me in multiple places or is that just being greedy you know.#obviously i don't because why else would i be dithering in the tags. anyway tl;dr i consider u beloved & also my friend welcome in the dms#at any time always. i hope everybody knows just yeet yourselves in there i am a Yapper and i love discussing. getting asks is one of my#favorite things :))) & getting messages from people is how u make friends!!! sometimes u tell people u love their work & now u are bffl <3#we all have like. Quintessential Moments that are secretly niche & the joy of going U DON'T KNOW ABOUT IGUANA WRESTLING??? is unmatched#also do you want to publish that poetry like?? hit after hit after hit. three paragraph six feet under. put it on the ao3 second person pov#dylan strome sitting at his fogged up kitchen window looking at the snow outside in washington the same as it was in erie the way it never#was in arizona and thinking about you know. maybe you know now what it was then. and does it matter? and in the end#he sees his girls run through the yard snowballs in their hands when he's done thinking everything through and he puts on his mittens and#walks out the door to his life. into the cold unknown you know. honorary fuckin' mention to what has secretly been percolating in my head#ever since i said the fogged glass window which is the one that knocks ME the fuck out every time but is so strongly a dylan/zach song to m#dream song by shallow alcove. just wanna press my nose up to the glass of your life. EYE cannot mcstrome w/that but it is incredibly vibes#also just. the queer experience of that Intense Friendship that you’re like WOW uh. maybe i need to think some things now. assigned to Them#HELP SOS what is ld19??? you will have to come explain this to me i fear. oh no you have to send me another message 😈 my brain said leon#but also london knights because mitch marner and the draft class of 2015. also had to laugh like i started singing phoebe bridgers waiting#room then immediately went into the argument of defying gravity 'i hope you're happy' (OBCR) because. i think they wish they could be spite#maybe. but maybe they know they only want them to be happy. also with the handshake... me when i. think about updating the goodnight chicag#cam now that stromer's in washington goodnight chicago goodnight indeed. DO WE EVEN WANT TO TALK ABOUT KITTY?? DEBRINCAT???? ALSO IN ERIE#also me🤝you🤝 caps/oilers game. they're like oh are u sick of the mcstrome teammates broadcast and i say no never thank u with my popcorn.#mcstrome
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watching the commentary on the wacky races dvds and honestly having the time of my life rn
#everything they say is so so fascinating but i love when it goes quiet like theyre just watching the episodes 😭#AND IWAO TAKAMOTO IS HEREEEE#i love hearing the artists trying to make sure every artist gets the right credit when they comment on something 🥲#i wish they did commentary for every episode man... fuuuck
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Every time Mario goes to rescue Princess Peach, and the journey takes more than a day, he finds himself pausing to stare up at a beautiful moon. The lands of the Mushroom Kingdom are stunning throughout his long travels. The night sky is spectacular. And the moon is such a gorgeous beacon up there, visible from every vantage point. He wonders, as he stares up at the moon, if she is looking at it, too. Even if they are apart, perhaps they unknowingly share this moment of reprieve. Gazing up at the stars together despite the distance between them.
Peeking outside her cell, taking in what little of the night sky she can see, perhaps Peach is wondering the same thing.
#Mario#Princess Peach#Mareach#I love them#This notion of the moon being something that so many of us can see at the same time from great distances#It's always been somewhat romantic to me#That I could share a moment of time gazing at the moon with someone I love#If unknowingly#Especially with them#Peach's kindness and grace is beautiful and unearthly like the moon#So he thinks of her every time he looks up there#And Mario's heroic spirit and passion is as brilliant as the celestial light reflecting back from the moon#So Peach thinks of him when she looks at it too 😭#Like you can also see the sun too obviously but the moon is just--#It's nighttime so everything is dark and quiet#No distractions#Just an intimate moment with silence and thoughts#Wondering and wondering if they could possibly feel the same#Mario wondering if Peach ever thinks about him in such soft moments#And vice versa#And of course they do 🥺
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I told you guys about my stupidest most non-literary student who fell in love with pride and prejudice right? one of my favorite things that has ever happened.
#this student was a bump on a log#hated reading. or like didn’t even know that a human person could like it#and then the last 20 chapters of pride and prejudice he just started reading and answering questions#(he had not been able to answer a single comprehension question in my class all year)#(had a D+/C- grade all year)#and just started lighting up about the book#and it was just. so cute and so funny and so GOOD#it made me so happy#he was somehow the perfect parallel/foil to my student last year who fell in love with it#who was very quiet and very smart and very magnetic in the way of Darcy tbh#and he was like what happens when a smart kid gets it and the one this year is what happens when an average/below average student gets it#but it reached both of them#it’s why I DO love teaching teenagers#because they’re just too young to be hardened fully. they can’t block everything out#some things will slip through the cracks#I LOVE things slipping through the cracks 😭😭#Now I am realizing that I have told this story so many times in so many ways thanks for listening to it again#teaching tag#Lol
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my anxiety has been like. really bad lately (by lately i mean the last couple months lol) like i am just CONSTANTLY expecting the world to (literally) end and its exhausting and terrifying and then on top of that my cat is stuck inside until her stitches dissolve so she's all antsy and stressed which is making my anxiety worse bc usually i can comfort myself by being like "oh well she's not acting weird so the world isnt about to end" yknow but then she's not acting normal (for very normal reasons) so im like AAAAA and then i think bc im anxious its making her even more antsy so its just a feedback loop of AAAAAAAA
#i hate when i get like this when it feels like every second is spent just. waiting for the sky to fall.#captain speaks#and some nights its so quiet out here it makes everything worse#ive got used to the background noise of the ocean and the town when im at my sisters house#the silence of the countryside at night is just. haunting sometimes. especially when im like this 😭😭
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My pms is so fucking weird 😭 I feel like I'm possessed by a demon and as soon as my menstruation comes down, the entity is out of my body 😭😭😭😭
#it's like the pms from fleabag's sister's but so much worse#i get so irritated by everything and need fo be in a quiet room with dim lights and cozy music and xanax#this time i dyed my hair black and i look like michael jackson 😭😭😭😭#had sh thoughts and a meltdown but im fine now because the entity left my body#i really need to see a gynecologist to talk about this...
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pretty spider webs and foggy mornings 🕷️🕸️
#mine#8am foggy mornings are truly the best#everything feels different#and it’s this eerie type of quiet#gives you some peace#anyways#there were webs everywhere#my fav when they’re all dewy 😭#gotta get the supplies to preserve one#been talking about doing it so much lately#wish I was prepared this morning#forestcore#forest photography#nature#spider webs
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