#everything that happened the other day was my fault just like everything that we ever go through is my fault
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hyunebunx · 22 hours ago
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maybe it's not our fault - chapter 01
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── synopsis: after a nasty breakup that’s left you completely shattered, you’re set on giving up on love forever. That is until, in a surprising turn of events, your respective best friends start dating and one of their main goals is to restore the peace in your broken relationship. Will their plan succeed? Will they manage to play cupid and get you and your high school sweetheart back together, or will it all backfire and result in the end of their own love story?
There is only one way to find out. If only your beloved’s heart wasn’t already broken beyond repair…
╰─▸ ❝ pairing: hyunjin x fem!reader
╰─▸ ❝ content: exes to lovers, angst, mutual pining, fluff, suggestive themes, drama and heartbreak, jock!hyunjin who is captain of the uni's football team + dance major!hyunjin, college au, lack of communication.
╰─▸ ❝ word count: 10k
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a/n: it's here!! special thank you to my croissant baby laure @byunfirstlady (this wouldn't be a me story if i didn't mention her somehow fgfdgh) for reading this for me before posting!! since this is the first chapter, things might feel a little slow, but dw, it will all pick up soon! enjoy <33 and do let me know your thoughts after reading <3
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“That is not going to fit!”
He scoffs, already annoyed. “Yes, it is! Just move over a little.”
“A little? I’m already stretched the fuck out! What more do you want from me?”
“Seohyun, I swear to fucking God – “
She yelps, most likely cramping. “Just pull it out, you dumbass – “
“What the hell is going on in here?”
You and Chan stop dead in your tracks, confused at the scene currently playing out in front of your very eyes. You were gone downstairs for less than ten minutes to get the rest of your stuff, with you and Chan carrying a box each that held the essentials to ensure this move went smoothly. And in that time frame, your two other best friends have already managed to be at each other’s throats.
The front door of your apartment was wide open, with dumb and dumber currently looking like two deers caught in headlights on opposite sides, separated by an old armchair whose springs had become a death trap over the years. Last year, when you held parties here, someone was always left standing ��� it was either the cursed chair or the floor, with most guests picking the latter once they were drunk enough.
“Uh, hi?” Jisung greets, forcing a smile onto boyish features that haven’t changed much since you met almost seven years ago, in high school.
Bewiled, you set the box down by Chan’s feet and approach. “Are you guys, okay? What happened?”
Whistling, Jisung tries to pretend he has everything under control. He doesn’t, he never does, that’s just the type of guy he was. “Duh, we’re fantastic! Everything is under control, don’t even – “
Called it.
“For the love of god, just shut up and let them help us already!” Seohyun barks from the other side, prompting you to peek in to see her straighten her posture, rubbing her wrists in obvious discomfort. With a sigh and a glare from Jisung who steps back to allow Chan to take his place, she explains. “We were trying to get this chair out to make room for the new one.”
Chuckling, Chan inspects the door frame while you pass Seohyun one of the boxes right over the ugly, red chair that’s seen better days. “And it got stuck?”
“Yes, because Jisung didn’t want to listen – “
“Or maybe because you started pushing when I wasn’t ready, like an idiot.” He counters instantly, never one to back out from a fight instigated by Seohyun. Not to be fooled, these two were as close as can be, the bickering reflective of their special bond.
You and Chan share a look as they start again, amusement clear in gentle, doe eyes that have comforted you numerous times over the years. Meeting back in the summer before high school, you and Chan have been attached at the hip ever since, clicking as pre-teens and growing up together, maturing down the same path that’s led you to the same university, and even the same major you also shared with Jisung. Music production has always been a passion of yours, so getting to fulfil that dream with your absolute best friend by your side was a blessing you couldn’t be more thankful for.
“Alright.” Chan stops their bickering, one hand landing on Jisung’s shoulder to get his attention. “Stand on it.”
“Pardon?” Jisung blinks at him, as confused as you and Seohyun were, not sure he heard Chan right.
Smiling, Chan squeezes his shoulder. “So, you can step on the backrest and make it fall over. It will be easier to move afterwards.”
“You think so?” He asks, biting down on his bottom lip, not confident in the slightest.
Your best friend nods, giving his bottom an encouraging pat. “Positively. Now go on, I don’t want to spend my whole day in this hallway.”
Seohyun scrambles back, unwilling to get caught in between Jisung and the chair, giving him enough room to do what he must to free her exit.
Watching the whole scene unfold has you smiling from ear to ear, struggling to keep your laughter at bay once Jisung realizes the task isn’t as dangerous as he expected. It’s anticlimactic, more than anything, as he gets on top of the chair to step on the backrest, going down slowly without even losing his balance.
He blinks, barely realizing it’s over before making eye contact with Seohyun who bursts out laughing like she’s been holding it in since the beginning. The three of you join in quickly after, your delight bouncing off the hallway walls and lifting the spirits tremendously.
After all, nobody in existence was ever excited for summer to end and classes to start again, with a new, even more demanding schedule than last year. You were in your third year now and things were bound to get difficult the closer you got to graduating.
This silly moment was exactly what you needed to start the new year right, sure it would become a core memory later down the line when you’d all be working adults, with even more responsibilities and nonexistent free time. The sight of Chan dragging the armchair out, without any difficulty whatsoever as Jisung and Seohyun’s jaws hit the floor, incredulous he didn’t struggle like they did, was sure to bring a smile to your face for years to come.
When your only access to the apartment was finally free, the four of you gathered inside with the remaining boxes.
“You weren’t kidding, you do have all of your stuff here.” Seohyun hums, scanning her surroundings, and her new home. The apartment was yours. You moved in just last year and you’ve lived by yourself until now, when you welcomed her with open arms and a little too much excitement.
“Yeah.” You nod, already moving around to put the scattered things back in their rightful places. “Sorry about the mess. I didn’t bother cleaning up before leaving.”
The living room was fine – your bedroom was the one that suffered the most, already dreading the thought of having to dig through all the mess to find most of your things.
The apartment was a gift from your parents, after successfully finishing your first year of university living in a dorm. Sure, having your own space was great, but you’d never trade that first year for anything in the world. That’s where you meet Seohyun after all, growing closer and closer with every sleepless night you spent together giggling and talking about everything under the sun, not feeling the hours tick by until one of your alarms would ring, signalling the start of a new day.
It was big, too spacious for only one person to live in, with two bedrooms and a bathroom straight out of an interior design magazine. Even though Seohyun didn’t move in until now, you were never truly alone with Jisung and Chris living right next door. Someone was always keeping you company, which you were thankful for, in more ways than one.
Already moving about like they owned the place, Chris and Jisung were helping you tidy up, with the latter moving to check for anything rotten in the kitchen. With four pairs of hands on deck, it didn’t take more than fifteen minutes for everything to be back to normal, leaving you to take care of the dusting.
“Alright.” Chan stands, carrying two trash bags. “Ji, let’s go get the armchair.”
Jisung follows before Seohyun calls after them. “Right, is it in your car?”
“I thought it was in yours?” He turns around, stopping in the doorway while Chan is already busy calling the elevator, further away.
You see her brows furrow, setting the duster down before grabbing her car keys. “Nope.”
The ding of the elevator gets your attention, and they share a look before hurrying after Chan, in search of said armchair, the door closing behind them with a quiet thud. You lived high up, on the 10th floor – nobody was ever willing to take the stairs and waste that much time.
And so, in the blink of an eye, you are left alone in the apartment that held so many of your memories, beautiful moments you wouldn’t trade even in exchange for forgetting the sad ones.
You feel a little lost, staring around like you couldn’t recognize your own home, shoulders slumping with a deep sigh. Your gaze moves towards your closed bedroom door, feet following before your hand twists the doorknob and you’re engulfed in sunlight, blinking rapidly to adjust to the change in lighting.
Inside, the sight that greets you seems frozen in time, transporting you back in June to the last moments spent in this room, where you were running around to pack in a hurry. You don’t dare move, just taking it all in as memories flood your mind and make your heart ache in your chest, what still remains of it, anyway.
All of your stuff thrown around haphazardly painted a picture you didn’t enjoy, yet couldn’t look away from either. Your bed remained unmade, with piles of clothing, bags and random objects occupying all the space. Framed photographs were thrown everywhere around the room, just so they would stop glaring at you from their place on your nightstand, face down and most likely damaged by the broken glass. The vase on your dresser, which used to stand tall with beautiful, healthy flowers seemed to have lost its color, struggling to fulfil its purpose because of the dried, mouldy peonies you didn’t bother throwing out before leaving.
But what’s even worse than the mess is what tipped you over the edge back then, falling to your knees on the fluffy, white carpet as you sobbed uncontrollably – the things he left behind were still here, in the exact same spots, in pristine condition. Your room looked like it barely survived the hurricane that shared your name, yet his red cap was still resting quietly next to the flowers he got you. One of his sketchbooks, still opened on that drawing he never got to finish as he got too busy with school, was on the other nightstand, on his side of the bed. A pair of his dancing shoes were by the door, right next to your comfy slippers. They have been there for so long, that you couldn’t enter your room without tripping over them and be reminded of his presence every single time. Hell, you bet if you checked right now, his toothbrush will still be next to yours in the cute holder you bought together, his razor not far away.
There were traces of him everywhere you looked in this apartment, clothes and necessities he left behind on his many visits. Like his football jersey, lucky number 20, you’ve worn more times than him, hung in your open closet among empty hangers that barely held on.
It wasn’t fair, how you seemed to crumble along with everything around you while he, and his stupid things, remained intact. The world shattered beneath your feet, freefalling to your doom of self-doubts and regrets while he continued with his life like nothing even happened. Like you never happened; like you weren’t such a fundamental part in his life in the exact same way he was in yours.
Your ex boyfriend moved on in the blink of an eye, while you were still here, crying at the sight of a stupid toothbrush.
This will never be fair. Why did you always seem to draw the short end of the stick?
New beginnings were usually your favorite. Starting another book, turning a new leaf and switching up your wardrobe for a change, getting the inspiration for another song – these were all activities that brought you joy. Now, returning to campus at the end of summer vacation to begin another school year? For the first time since starting university two years ago, felt like an impossible task, one you weren’t ready for in the slightest. Because how could you ever be ready to start your junior year without him?
How could you possibly embark on a new journey without him holding your hand and guiding you through it all, navigating around every hardship with ease like he was the most experienced sailor in existence?
You had no answers, only questions. Too many that were also too loud, bouncing off of the sturdy walls of your mind that were threatening to crumble with every thud, remaining standing only thanks to the unbearable headaches that reminded you to take a break from all the overthinking.
Your mind went quiet as another voice made its presence known, bringing you back to the world outside your bedroom while shooing the dark cloud above your head out the window with ease.
“Oh my god, we lost the goddamn chair!”
A wet laugh escaped your lips, more tears rolling down your cheeks as you desperately tried to wipe them all before joining your friends in the living room. You weren’t stupid – they were worried. That’s why Seohyun was moving in, in the first place. To keep an eye on you at all times, when the other two couldn’t be there and provide the much needed support you craved so badly.
Not like they knew you were aware of their little plan, having them figured out from the moment they showed up at Chan’s doorstep in Australia, last month. They’ve been tiptoeing around you since then, not knowing what emotional state you were in or what’s changed or hasn’t in the two months you spent apart. Sure, Chris might have filled them in, but they were still afraid. Afraid they were going to mess up somehow and have you slipping through their fingers and shatter at any moment, like you were nothing more than a fragile package, all progress lost the second something that reminded you of him jumped into your path.
And, you hate to admit but they were right.
They failed to take into consideration that even though your ex never actually moved in, the apartment was his as much as it was yours, quickly becoming your shared home as you fell into a routine that involved the other at every step.
Your three close friends were the only people present, but all you could see was him, a ghost roaming around and haunting every corner of the house you now despised, his giggles caressing your ears gently every time you moved from one room to the other.
Just being here felt like torture. How were you supposed to spend another two years sleeping in the same bed you shared with the person you thought was going to be your forever?
“Sweetheart.” Chan’s gentle voice coaxes you out of the room as you manage to pull yourself together, no sign of crying or distress still present on your features. If anything, they looked worse than you, crestfallen and a little embarrassed.
“We have something to tell you.” Seohyun steps closer, gently taking your hands into hers and intertwining your fingers loosely.
Jisung nods and is by your side in a second, throwing an arm around your shoulders as he lowers his mouth to your ear. “Chris lost your new armchair.”
“What the fuck?!”
Your laughter joins theirs, a beat later, as Chris remains the only one standing there, arms crossed over his chest with his words falingl on deaf ears, nobody paying attention as he begins defending himself.
When you’re pulled into a warm embrace, with Jisung’s cologne enveloping all your senses, you can’t help but start wondering. Is this a good time to finally reveal you never actually ordered a new chair or…?
︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.
Saturday slipped away into a moment in time, and before you knew it, Sunday was upon you. Your last chance at relaxing before the craziness began, and you’d be thrust into a series of new projects, classes and assignments that were already giving you a headache.
Despite spending the previous night celebrating a new beginning with your best friends, having an intimate pizza party with karaoke and a little too much alcohol, you wake up bright and early to get to a previously made appointment. Usually, you wouldn’t go anywhere for the summer, for the first two months anyway. But since you flew out of the country as soon as your exams were over, you didn’t get to help the animal shelter you have been volunteering at since your first year. It left a hole in your heart, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel guilty for disappearing into thin air, with nothing more than a text sent to the owner to let her know you’ll be going away for a while.
Hopefully, they’re willing to forgive and forget and let you make up for it by spending the next two months as involved as possible.
“Good morning, sweetheart.” Comes Chan’s groggy voice, still husky from all the singing he did last night, stumbling out of your spare bedroom with barely open eyes.
You startle, losing your balance while putting on your other shoe and crashing into the wall by the front door. You were hoping to make a swift escape and return before any of them rose since nobody in their right mind would willingly wake up this early.
He appears from around the corner, tank top slightly raised as he’s trying to scratch at his back. “You good?”
“Yep, everything’s just peachy.” Regaining your footing, you manage to put your shoe on and turn your back to him to get a jacket, feeling too awkward to make eye contact right now, which Chan would have laughed about if he wasn’t so sleepy.
“Where are you going?” He yawns, turning to squint at the clock on the far wall, above the couch. “It’s literally 7 am, too early to even be alive right now.”
For some reason, you hesitate to tell him, too out of it for your, and most definitely his liking. Being here was certainly not doing you any good, the walls closing in every time you tried to breathe and lift all the broken pieces of your stupid heart off of your lungs. It felt suffocating, especially when you were left alone with your thoughts as you zoned out one too many times.
Still, you mumble under your breath, reaching for your keys as silently as possible.
“Huh?”
With a sigh, you finally face him, eyes downcast. “Furry Friends Rescue.”
The smile that stretches across his features as he processes your words is so wide and contagious, it brightens up the whole room like he was somehow related to the sun itself, light radiating off of him in waves. It wakes him up instantly, and before you know it, he slips into a pair of slides left by the door and flies to his apartment.
You look after him, confused, and step into the hallway at the same time he does.
“Alright, let’s go!” He beams, locking his door before reaching for your arm softly. “I’ll drive you!”
“Wait, are you sure? I can – “
“Yes, I’m sure!” He frowns, shaking his head and pulling you after him with his newfound energy. “You love it there, and I know you already miss Berry. The least I can do is offer you a ride, are you kidding?”
You can’t help but smile at the mention of his puppy, spirits lifted in an instant. She was such a special little lady and you really bonded in these three months you’ve spent at his parents’ house.
Your parents never allowed you to have a pet, with your mom being allergic, so you did what you could to fill the space that remained constantly empty in your heart.
The drive there is full of laughter and even more singing, with Chris bringing back one of the activities you loved doing since he first got his license back in high school. Carpool karaoke has always been a must in his car, and that’s why you rode with Seohyun on your way back from the airport yesterday. You were a fool because nothing was quite as therapeutic as being silly and singing Disney songs at the top of your lungs with the only person who’s watched you grow into the adult you are today.
The drive to your destination isn’t long, but you still manage to squeeze in five songs before you get off and Chris speeds off. Only after wishing you a good day and making you promise you’ll call once you’re done so he can come pick you up, too. He was too kind, willing to do too much for you sometimes, but you were just the same. You’re afraid you might try moving the moon if he asked, one day.
Your annoying, overprotective brother who wasn’t really your brother, who’d push you into the pool before jumping in to save you in the same breath. He was such a guy.
Approaching with a prep to your step, the shelter’s surroundings have changed drastically since your last visit. The trees in the back have dyed their leaves in warm shades of orange and yellow, scattering some on the ground in hopes of attracting more pet lovers. A beautiful background always pulled people in, just like all pretty things did, and this autumn is particularly beautiful, with sights straight out of famous paintings. Seoul was truly a special city, one that’s nurtured and taught you the meaning of the word love that’s being thrown around too casually for your taste, these days. The city you grew up in, where you found your love for writing and composing, and where you met the most amazing people on this planet.
No other city could compare to your birthplace, no matter how pretty or modern it was.
Just as you make to try the door, with your apology speech all ready to go, it suddenly opens and forces you to take a few steps back in surprise.
“I’m sorry, we aren’t open yet.” The apology comes from a tall man, whose delicate features would have fooled you into believing he wasn’t older than a high schooler. Yet his physique begs to differ, you could tell even from beneath all the layers. He’s wearing the shelter’s apron with the logo you’ve had Jisung design a few years back. A new employee, perhaps? You don’t recognize him, so that’s most likely the case.
Your gaze travels upwards until it meets his brown eyes that fidget at the sudden contact. “Sorry, I’m here to see Mrs. Jeon?”
The stranger shakes his head, bleached blond hair hiding an undercut following his every move. “Mrs. Jeon is out of the country.”
You wait for him to continue, provide more details but when he doesn’t and only raises a brow that almost asks ‘what are you still doing here?’ you sigh and turn to leave. “Right. Will you please tell her Y/n has stopped by?”
“Wait, Y/n L/n?”
You turn right on your heel, both of your eyebrows raised as if to challenge his. “Do I know you?”
He brings his hands up, showing he means no harm as a smile finds his rosy lips, one you don’t truly grasp the meaning of. “No! But I know you.”
Alright, now you’re properly creeped out. Noticing the look on your face, the man quickly corrects himself, letting out an awkward laugh as he rubs the back of his head. “I’m sorry, I’m not good with strangers. Mrs. Jeon does! I was recruited in your place when you didn’t come back in June.”
Oh, so he was your replacement. Great. You had no idea you’d entered a race to see how fast people and places you frequented could replace you during the summer. Very motivating and uplifting. You should have stayed home.
“Oh.” Despite all the thoughts overlapping each other in your head, you only manage to sigh, properly exhausted.
His eyes widen slightly, and without thinking, he grasps your elbow when you turn around to leave for good. “Please do come in! Mrs. Jeon has been waiting to hear from you. She left a note.”
“A note?” When he nods, you shake off his hand and accept the invitation, stepping inside filled with curiosity.
All of the furry friends were in the back, in a separate space away from the reception. The place was modern, decorated in warm, pastel colors that seemed to welcome you with a fuzzy hug, the surroundings pristine. Furry Friends Rescue was built from the ground up by Mrs Jeon’s late husband, who passed away a few years back, right after you started volunteering here. To honor his life, she kept this place running, making it her mission to find loving homes for all the animals that were brought in, investing most of her resources into modernizing the place and treating the animals like they deserved to be treated.
The shelter housed a veterinary office and a pet salon, run by other volunteers who were experts in their fields, students alike and even working people who would come by to offer a helping hand whenever they could. Mr Jeon was a vet – he used to treat all of the animals before he fell sick and became unable to work.
Making his way around the reception desk, which truly resembled the entrance of a corporation, even with all the pet pictures plastered on all the walls, and the dog pattern on the couch, the man picks up a note that was next to the bone-shaped phone.
“Here.”
Your fingers brush his as you take the small paper from him, but you don’t pay any attention to the slight color that appears on his cheeks.
Dear Y/n,
I hope your precious heart managed to heal during your trip
What fitting words for someone who had no idea why you left in the first place. Guess Mrs. Jeon knew you better than you thought, after all.
If you’re reading this, it means I have not yet returned from visiting my grandbabies. It also means Jaemin is the one looking after the place
Please work together until I’m back. He’s a nice kid and I believe you’ll get along well
That is if you’re still willing to return. Always put yourself first. If quitting is what you think is best, just know I’ll never hold it against you
With love, grandma J
P.S. there’s a surprise on the other side 😊
Curious, you flip over the page, eyes scanning the familiar handwriting to decipher what has she left you. A giggle escapes you soon after, shaking your head with fondness spilling from your eyes at her antics. You’re glad that after everything she’s been through, Mrs. Jeon has never changed.
“Is something funny?” The guy you’ve come to learn is named Jaemin asks from the other side of the desk, head tilted slightly in wonder making him resemble an actual puppy.
You dismiss him with a wave of your wrist, pocketing the note. Mrs. J’s brownie recipe you could never get enough of wouldn’t interest him anyway.
“So, you’re Jaemin?” You finally ask, giving him a once-over. He was tall, wearing a denim-on-denim outfit and smiled a little too brightly for your liking. Still, he did look like a nice guy, so you might as well give him a chance, even if meeting someone knew was the last thing you wanted to do.
As expected, he beams, thrusting a hand forward over the desk. “That’s me! Nice to meet you, Y/n. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
You give him a small but genuine smile and shake his hand. “I’m a third year at SNU so I usually volunteer here during summer vacation. I hope we get along.”
He nods, listening to your every word. “Yeah, Mrs. Jeon mentioned we go to the same university. I’m a second year majoring in dance! I’m also a part of the football team so I apologize in advance if I ever end up leaving you here all alone when the season starts.”
Oh, what were the odds?
Your smile drops despite your effort in not reacting, retracting your hand a little too quickly while nodding and trying to act as normal as possible. “Cool.”
Turning around, you begin walking in the opposite direction to escape from this awkward situation Mrs. J has unknowingly put you in.
“Shall we go see the animals?”
He’s on your tail soon after, grabbing another apron on the way for you with that ever present sunny smile of his. Jaemin reminded you of a hyperactive puppy, a golden retriever who would do anything to make you happy, pulling silly stunts and stumbling over his own feet.
Turns out, his bright personality isn’t the only reason Mrs. J has hired Jaemin. You spend the next four hours together, taking care of the animals and talking, to your surprise. They all seemed to love him already, causing a ruckus at the mere sight of him, excited to be let out and greet you both properly.  The puppies especially as they’d run back and forth from you to him without stopping for a while, barely managing to bottle feed them in their excitement. Jaemin was nice, and easy to talk to, happy to get to know you but also talk your ear off when sensing you might need a laugh, managing to make everything funny. A great pick me up, you ended up agreeing with Mrs J’s statement – he was a good guy, the best that could have replaced you and helped her and all the staff in your absence.
For some reason, he felt comfortable opening up to you, and in turn, you told him some things about yourself too.
“What made you want to volunteer here?” He suddenly asks while cradling a noisy kitten, the sight comical.
You barely think before answering, gaze still trained on the bichon that has fallen asleep in your lap while you were brushing her. “I wasn’t allowed to have pets growing up, and I’ve always loved them. I was lucky my best friend had the most adorable puppy in the world right next door, but it wasn’t the same as owning one, you know?”
Jaemin nods, finally calming the kitten, eyes on you. “Oh, that sucks. I couldn’t imagine life without my two babies at home.”
You look up, curious. “You have dogs?”
“Two cats.” He throws a peace sign, chuckling when you smile. “I’m from Busan, so I only get to see them on holidays. I thought coming here and helping out four days a week might help me miss them less.”
“And? Does it help?” You point to the kitten that has fallen asleep in his arms, head crocked to the side weirdly. Looking down, he laughs and sets her in his lap, using his knuckles to gently pet between her ears, one of his hands as big as her whole body.
“It does, actually.” He smiles absentmindedly, most likely reminiscing about his fur babies. “But only momentarily. When I’m back in my dorm room, I still feel their absence.”
“I’m sorry.” Is all you say, a deep pang of sadness hitting you out of nowhere. You guess this is how Chris and Jisung feel as well, both away from their respective dogs they’ve more or less grown up with.
Jaemin shakes his head, still smiling and not as sad as you’d thought he’d be. “None of that. I facetime my mom every night just to see them.”
“That’s cute.” A smile finds its way on your face as you imagine him using the same baby voice he uses with the animals here on the phone with his mom, cooing at his cats.
“You’re cute.”
An uncharacteristic silence falls upon you as Jaemin searches for your gaze, dying to understand your reaction. It wasn’t uncomfortable, just weird, making you feel like you were doing something wrong. Which made no sense. Jisung and Chan called you cute all the time; not out of nowhere, but when the moment was right. Heck, Seohyun would write entire pages praising your beauty whenever you posted on Instagram – you knew you were cute. But this was different, this was someone that meant it romantically, you could tell. He was flirting with you, shooting his shot and seeing where it landed.
That wasn’t something you could reciprocate, especially not now.
When he notices the look in your eyes, the storm brewing behind them, he adds. “I was talking about Belle over there.”
You look down at Belle, the fluffy bichon in your lap, who is currently sleeping soundly on her back, tummy up and randomly kicking her feet once in a while, dreamland surely rowdy.
“Shut up.” You laugh a moment later, appreciating how fast he took the hint and backed off, leaning over to softly push him on the doggy mats, to which he pretends to fall just for your amusement.
With that out of the way, things return to normal quickly and before you know it, the other volunteers arrive and you’re biding Jaemin goodbye and going on your merry way, back to your apartment.
It’s afternoon now, hopefully your friends are awake by now.
︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.
They were in fact, not awake. Jisung just moved himself from the spare bedroom he shared with Chris for the night to the living room couch to sleep some more, without having to deal with the other’s snoring. Seohyun was buried in your blanket, hiding from the world, in the same position she was in when you left that morning.
Like it or not, it seems their bodies were incapable of pulling all-nighters after doing it for so many years without suffering the day after. Hopefully, you all manage to fix your sleep schedules before your classes start properly, not wanting to miss too many and be left behind, confused out of your minds and barely figuring it out by the time exam season rolls around.
︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.
“I’m sleepy.” Seohyun complains, reaching up to rub her eyes before remembering the pretty eyeliner currently gracing her eyelids and stopping at the last second, groaning.
You giggle, full of energy from the coffee Chris made sure got into your system before your first class, swirling the ice in your cup absentmindedly, mind somewhere else.
Busy on his phone, he doesn’t even look up as he responds. “You barely made it to class this morning and you’re still complaining?”
Monday, 10:15 am. Your first class of the day officially ended fifteen minutes ago and as you’ve been doing for two years now, your friend group meet up at your favorite location, the diner closest to campus that has become some sort of sanctuary by now.
Seohyun was majoring in communication so she did not share your classes yet somehow, the four of you have started the new school year in the same way – with a boring, way too long 8 am lecture that almost erased your will to live.
She shoots him a dirty look he doesn’t notice, but otherwise doesn’t respond, too tired to bother with Chris and his top student agenda. Because being popular, good at sports and everyone’s friend wasn’t enough for him; your best friend was the academic weapon every freshman aspired to be, without trying too hard either. Hands down the most gifted and smartest person you know.
“You did go to bed super late last night.” You reach for her hand across the table, gently massaging her palm in hopes she’ll feel a bit better.
Just then, Jisung returns with your drinks, handing them out one by one like he was a barista himself. When he’s done and you all thank him, he takes his seat across from you and Chris, next to Seohyun. “What did I miss?”
“Seohyun was complaining.” Chris responds instantly, fingers typing away. What could be more interesting than spending time with your closest friends?
“Oh, so nothing new.”
At the same time, you softly smack the back of Chris’ head while she smacks Jisung, with a little more force, only the latter reacting loudly.
“Stop being mean.” You reprimand, and Chris puts his phone down with a sigh, leaning back in his chair to stretch his arms above his head.
“For your information, being late was not my fault.” Seohyun chimes in, finally in the mood to explain herself after taking several sips of her coffee. “This random guy ran straight into me, I was tackled to the ground!”
Concern flashes over your features. “Are you okay?”
She nods. “Yeah, don’t worry. He helped me up and gathered all of my books while apologizing. Then I met up with Ji and he carried my bag to class.”
Both you and Chris shoot Jisung a curious look, not convinced he went through all of that trouble out of the kindness of his own heart.
“In my defense,” Jisung shrugs, his arm thrown over the booth behind Seohyun’s head, “I really did not want to come to class.”
Chris chuckles and sips from his strawberry milkshake while you shake your head, smiling and pinching the back of Jisung’s hand that was resting on the table, to which he retaliates by throwing the straw paper in your face.
“To be honest, I wasn’t paying attention either so he’s not entirely to blame here.” She continues like neither of you has said anything, resting her head in her palm with a dreamy look in her eyes. “Besides, he was fucking gorgeous. I swear I’ve never seen such a beautiful man before. And his freckles? Literal constellations right on his cheeks, oh my god.”
“Okay, Juliet, pipe down.” Jisung flicks her forehead and she swats his hand away, glaring.
Amused, you lean closer with interest. “Did you get his name?”
She shakes her head. “No” Then, her gaze moves to Chris. “That’s why, I need you to find him for me.”
Raising a brow, he reaches for your drink to have a taste before responding. “What am I, the local newspaper? You’re the one who bumped into him.”
“Yes, but you literally know everyone on campus.”
He makes a face, deeming your drink too bitter for his taste. “So do you.”
That was true. Seohyun was the definition of a social butterfly, mingling with all cliques and being liked by everyone she came into contact with. However, she was also very perceptive so if someone’s vibe seemed off, she could come across as cold and aloof, not giving them the time of day.
“Please?” She continues, resorting to the infamous puppy eyes. “This guy might be the love of my life, Chris, please help me.”
“What about Mark?” Jisung buts in, giving her a questioning look. Immediately, you and Chris signal for him to cut it out, abort the ship and never utter that name for as long as he draws breath.
Seohyun’s gaze drops to her cup, manicured finger moving back and forth on the edge, pretending she didn’t hear any of the words that have left Jisung’s mouth. To his credit, Jisung looks a little guilty, arm sliding over her shoulder and squeezing briefly in a silent apology, hoping it will be enough to fix things.
The probability of this mystery guy being the love of her life was low, but Chris seemed to feel bad enough to give in, exhaling deeply. Seohyun’s track record wasn’t great – for some reason, she always fell for emotionally unavailable guys, with her latest situationship ending not too long ago once she realized Mark did not want anything serious.
She didn’t deserve all that. Seohyun was the sweetest, kindest person you knew, with a heart of gold. If anyone deserved to find true love and grow old with rosy cheeks, still feeling butterflies at the mention of her beloved’s name no matter how many years passed, it was her. And you’d be damned if you didn’t try to make that happen.
“Let’s find this pretty boy of yours.” You smile as Chris nods, enjoying the way her face gradually lights up.
“Really?”
“I’d feel like I kicked a puppy while it was down if I didn’t, so what the hell. We’ve done crazier things anyways.” Chris adds and she squeals, getting out of the booth to come over and hug him, suddenly excited.
“Oh!” She rushes back to her seat, instantly rummaging through her bag. “This is his. I think it got mixed up with my books when I dropped them. He was in a hurry.”
The three of you huddle together as she places a small notebook on the table, curious about its contents that might reveal the identity of Seohyun’s prospective new…something. Let’s hope boyfriend, and nobody that treats her less than that.
Chris is the one who dares open it, flipping through the pages in wonder.
“These are…recipes?” He blinks, drawing a blank as the measurements for the perfect ‘gooey brownies’ stare him right in the face.
None of you says anything for a moment, the gears in your head turning and working simultaneously before Jisung breaks the silence with an unexpected outburst.
“Oh my god, he’s a fucking loser!”
Safe to say, he got smacked a couple more times before your next class of the day. Lovingly, of course.
︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.
With everyone promising to ask around for Seohyun’s prince charming, you go on with your day until your last class, when you established to meet again for a little get together with all of your other friends.
The sun was starting to set, casting a warm, golden hue that extended throughout the whole campus, creating mesmerizing surroundings you could barely look away from. Thankfully by now, you’re outside, enjoying the warm breeze and nice weather that might not return any time soon as the days will only continue to get shorter and shorter as time passes.
You’re currently near the football field, cutting through near the bleachers to get to the other side where Chris and his swimming team are currently meeting. Seohyun is skipping a few feet in front of you, obviously in good spirits.
“Didn’t know Chris needed a chaperone.” She teases, turning to you with a smile as she starts walking backwards.
You chuckle. “Well, he is our ride.”
“We could have walked.” She stretches her arms as if to prove a point. “It’s such a beautiful day! It’s a shame we have to miss out on the rest of it, too.”
You were on your way to a bar, a new one that opened all the way in Hongdae. The owner has invited 3racha, Chris and Jisung’s music group personally, so it would be rude to not show up, even if you did share her sentiment. If it were up to you, you’d be in bed, snuggling already, but your friends have made it a point to keep you out of the house as much as possible.
“Just say thank you, Seohyun.”
“Thank you, Seohyun, for being the hottest girl around!”
You both laugh, enjoying each other’s company before she turns back around and resumes her skipping, long, bleached hair flowing freely behind her in the prettiest way. As you reach for your phone to record her for memories, a speck of red gets your attention in an instant.
You keep walking but your eyes are glued to the field now, to the eight or so guys dressed in the white and red uniform of your university’s American football team. Your heart rate picks up in an instant, scanning their jersey numbers in a hurry.
Relief floods your system when you don’t find what you’re looking for, slowing down. These guys looked young, most likely freshmen trying out for a spot in the most famous football team your university has had in years. You didn’t know how that worked, your memory failed you as you tried to remember when tryouts took place. It seemed a little too early for all that though, too soon to be looking for new people when the season kicked off somewhere in October, a good month and a half away. You couldn’t help but wonder why the hurry.
“Y/n! Watch out!”
Seohyun’s screaming startles you out of your thoughts, your eyes coming into focus to see a football flying right in your direction, quickly approaching your head. Before you know it, you’re ducking and running, feeling bad for snoozing and interfering with practice. Of course, this had to happen, you were cursed after all. You could never be near a sports field without something hitting you, no matter how small or insignificant the object, it always had to make contact with your face.
However, you don’t make it very far before you come to an abrupt stop as you collide with something or better said, someone, the impact causing you to stumble a few steps back until rough, gloved hands stabilize you by the shoulders.
When you regain your footing and finally look up at your saviour, your heart actually stops.
Because the one looking back, right through you is none other than Hyunjin. Your Hyunjin.
Or actually, he wasn’t yours anymore, now, was he?
Hyunjin who’s written his name across your heart in golden letters, that suddenly lit up at the mere sight of him. Your ex-boyfriend looked almost unrecognizable, his short black hair replaced by long, bleached locks that were pushed back, away from his face in a little ponytail.
You were a fool to think he wouldn’t be here. He was the captain after all and the coach was nowhere in sight.
The air wasn’t entering your lungs anymore, yet somehow you were still breathing, being kept afloat by his familiar hands on your skin, so overly conscious of his touch that you barely registered the shiver running down your spine.
After three months apart with no communication, Hyunjin was finally looking at you, forced to acknowledge your presence. It felt a little surreal, bumping into him so soon. Sure, you were expecting it, but not on your very first day back to campus, not when you still haven’t processed the fact that you weren’t together anymore. Everything in you longed for him and all his endearing quirks, even after all this time; even after he broke your heart.
You don’t dare look away, and neither does he, enthralled by those beautiful eyes of his that used to watch your every move with so much love and care. Now, you don’t see any of these emotions, but there is an intensity to his gaze that you can’t quite put your finger on. Time always seemed to come to a stop when you were with him and right now it was no different. All of your surroundings faded, leaving him the sole object of your attention.
There was a new piercing adorning his face, right under his bleached eyebrow. It looked good, like everything he deemed worthy enough to leave a mark on his body. But that wasn’t what got your heart beating again, pounding against your ribcage at an alarming pace he was sure to hear even from afar.
Without looking away, his hands slide down your arms slowly, and for a brief moment, you think they’re going to find solace in yours, just like they’ve done for all these years. By the surprise flickering in his eyes, you believe he thought of the same thing, catching himself at the last second and taking a step back, arms falling to his side heavily.
“Yo, what the fuck was that?” A new voice has you both snapping out of it, finally allowing you to look away and escape the staring war neither had the resources to win. It’s familiar, and as someone stops right by your side, seemingly out of nowhere, there’s no doubt in your mind about his identity.
“Y/n, are you okay?
You blink, and the magic from before finally dissipates completely, almost like the spell Hyunjin has got you under broke the moment he made himself busy by reaching for his helmet on the ground. When you manage to tear your eyes from him, Yeonjun, one of his friends and teammates, comes into view and places a hand on your shoulder in concern. The ball that almost collided with your head is under his other arm, and you notice that he’s not wearing his gloves as he should be.
Eventually, you nod, looking straight into his eyes while mustering your most convincing smile. “Yeah, don’t worry. Nothing even happened.”
“It almost did.” He states, glaring towards the group of men who seemed glued on the spot. “If it weren’t for Hyunjin, things might have ended badly.”
You look away, not knowing how to act around them anymore. Hyunjin doesn’t respond either, just moves out of the way as Seohyun sprints to your rescue, pulling your body into the tightest hug and putting some distance between you and the two men.
“Are you okay? You’re not hurt anywhere, right?” She’s instantly checking you all over, dusting invisible dirt off your clothes before patting your head lovingly, just like a mother would do to comfort her sobbing child. Truthfully speaking, you weren’t far from turning into one, but the mortification of bursting into tears in front of all these people kept your emotions in check. You reckon a football to the face would have hurt less than having Hyunjin treat you like a stranger he’s meeting for the first time, barely reacting to your sudden appearance.
In hindsight, him reacting differently was almost impossible. Especially in the way you’d want him to react. Hyunjin had changed right before your very eyes in the last months before your relationship ended, burying his sweet and sensitive nature so deep down that you feared it might have gotten erased permanently.
Grasping her hands, you nod to calm her racing mind. “I’m fine, mom.” Then, you turn to Yeonjun again. “Sorry for interrupting practice like that. I should have been more careful.”
You hear Hyunjin scoff from somewhere behind you, still not brave enough to show his face, while Yeonjun shakes his head vehemently. “Nonsense. You did nothing wrong. Those guys though? They did plenty.”
He squeezes your shoulder reassuringly before excusing himself to join said guys, voice loud and annoyed. “Who were you passing that to? Are you fucking blind or just stupid?”
Yeonjun had no authority over them, not like Hyunjin did anyway. But he was still a seasoned player, one that’s been with the team for two years, so his words carried significant weight. He was a year older than all of you yet only decided to give football a chance in his second year, joining the team at the same time as Hyunjin. Their roles on the team were the opposite of each other – while Hyunjin was on the offensive, Yeonjun was a defensive player in charge of keeping the other team as far away as possible. Yet, they clicked and worked so well together that the probability of SNU losing a game with both of them present was close to none.
Bonding outside the field proved just as easy and before you knew it, Yeonjun became one of Hyunjin’s treasured friends, bringing their envied teamwork to more events than necessary.
For these guys to have a chance before the coach, they first needed to impress these two. And one thing about Hyunjin was that he was very hard to impress, especially in the areas he excelled in.
Your eyes naturally gravitate towards him along with your thoughts, his magnetic field still as strong as always. To your utter surprise, he moved to stand a little further away, facing his potential new teammates.
“Who threw that?”
The sound of his voice alone is enough to overwhelm you, suddenly way too emotional to keep still, to manage to keep your cool and act as nonchalant as he was. You haven’t heard that voice in so long, you’re sure you’d have collapsed if he as much as uttered your name.
Your name on his tongue has always been your favorite sound, no other word ever coming close to having that same effect.
Sheepishly, one of the guys steps forward while rubbing the back of their necks, visibly taken aback by the coldness in Hyunjin’s voice.
Hyunjin’s eyes narrow just as Seohyun links her arm through yours and tugs your body closer.
“Apologize.”
“Yes, captain!” He nods instantly, bowing repeatedly in Hyunjin’s direction to show exactly how sorry he feels for disappointing him. “I’m –“
“Not to me.” Hyunjin crosses his arms over wide chest, shoulder blade plates making him look even more intimidating as he stands to his full height, rolling his eyes. “To her.”
Your eyes widen as the guy looks up, searching for you with confusion visible even through his big helmet. Hesitantly, he changes targets, stopping before you and Seohyun.
“Hyunjin – “ You manage to squeak out, hating the way your voice almost gets caught in your throat, heat rushing to your face.
“Let him apologize.” His gaze travels to you leisurely, impatience clear in usual doe eyes.
But you aren’t far behind, a little annoyed by his insistence, managing to pull yourself together to counter. “I don’t think that’s necessary.”
“And last I checked, I didn’t ask for your opinion.” As quick-witted as always, Hyunjin isn’t even looking at you anymore, not bothering to react in any other way, like you weren’t even worth getting annoyed at. “He made a mistake that under normal circumstances, could have cost us the game. He needs to own up to it and apologize not only to you but to his teammates as well.”
Then, the guy seems to get smaller under his sharp gaze, instantly dropping into a deep bow and obeying Hyunjin’s words to a T. “I’m so sorry for throwing the ball in your direction!” In the next second, he’s spinning around and bowing to the other guys as Seohyun struggles to keep in her laughter at his next words. “I’m sorry for being an idiot!”
To his credit, Hyunjin hasn’t addressed him as such, always one to keep things professional. Yet, you notice the slight twitch of his mouth, obviously pleased and amused as Yeonjun bursts out laughing.
The guys bow in return, and suddenly they’re all shouting apologies at each other, owning up to all of the little mistakes they’ve made up until now that might’ve inconvenienced the other in some way, feeling bad for possibly giving anyone a hard time.
Not being able to hold it in anymore, your best friend almost collapses from laughter, needing to walk it off to calm down, only to start again as she locks eyes with Yeonjun a little farther away.
You’re so taken aback that you don’t even know how to react, watching the scene before you as flabbergasted as one could get. It was wholesome to see these kids already acting like a team but a part of you couldn’t help but feel bad once it remembered none might actually get to play and represent their university on the field. Hyunjin was trying to instil some discipline into them, but at what cost? What was the point?
Just as you’re contemplating everything that happened, the eight guys suddenly stop and turn to bow in Hyunjin’s direction as well, apologizing at the same time like it’s an activity they’ve rehearsed beforehand. It gets quiet as they wait for an answer, not even daring to raise their heads and see Hyunjin’s reaction, just patiently waiting for the go ahead so they can go back to practice.
Since when was Hyunjin running this team like the fucking marines?
Despite not looking at him, when Hyunjin nods they all stand to their full heights before him, awaiting further instructions. The mood shifts, all tense and serious like they weren’t sweet and wholesome just a moment ago.
“Since none of you seem able to handle one of these yet,” he barely finishes his sentence before Yeonjun passes him the ball, catching it with ease to hold up for the others to see. It all happened so quickly and naturally, that the others most likely didn’t notice, but you did. Hyunjin isn’t using his dominant hand. “you’ll be running laps until the coach gets here. Whoever is not up for it, drop your gears – you’re out.”
You’re expecting complaints and groans in protest but instead, they all nod and succumb to their miserable fates, doing exactly what Hyunjin has instructed. A little further away, you notice Yeonjun laughing without shame, having a blast at their expense.
“Asshole.” Seohyun murmurs, rolling her eyes, and you’re unsure who she’s talking about. “Let’s go. Any more time and Chris will send his speedo wearing army out in the wild to look for us.”
You want to laugh, to agree, and turn your back on this incident and leave without a word. But you can’t, feet lodged into place like you were standing on the biggest patch of mud around.
Hyunjin’s back was already to you, form cladded in that familiar uniform you’ve felt under your fingertips for years. The 20 under his surname written in capital letters on his jersey were almost mocking you, mad for holding their twin hostage in your mess of a closet. It doesn’t matter – in a month or so, they’ll be replaced in favour of a new design that comes around every new season. Just like your presence in his life will inevitably be filled by someone else; someone better, capable of loving him at his worst.
You had so much to say, so many words eager to escape and latch onto him, to get his attention and feed from it, growing bolder and more desperate with every second spent by his side. Hyunjin always brought the best out of you – until he broke things off. Then everything just came to a stop. Like someone lifted the stylus off of a vinyl before the song got the chance to come to an end, damaging the record and your ears in the process.
You loved music but suddenly, your life was quiet.
Hyunjin has been your muse for the entirety of your relationship, all of your songs based on him and the love that managed to blossom thanks to your shared effort. The butterflies and the fireworks all faded without a trace, making your music sound bland and meaningless, off-key since the one who inspired it was no longer there.
You wanted to call out his name, get him to stop and not leave you behind again but you didn’t know how, unable to without bursting into tears and breaking down for everyone to see. Hyunjin has been a part of your life for so many years, how were you ever supposed to start acting like he never was? Erasing him and the mark he left would surely be impossible without a potion of sorts, some Eternal Sunshine mechanism that will ensure your brain will be tricked into believing he was never here, to begin with.
Seohyun is off to the side, giving you the space needed to put your thoughts in order, for your next move. This was your chance, the moment you’ve been waiting for.
But you couldn’t do it. You couldn’t run after him no matter how loudly your heart was screaming in protest.
So, you turn around and latch onto your best friend as she begins pulling you along, quick to come to your rescue as always. Struggling to keep it together, with tears welling up in your eyes, you miss the way he turns to look in your direction one more time. One last time.
You’ve always believed Hyunjin was the love of your life, the one you’d grow old holding hands with.
Now, your perspective has changed, as did the main character role he has played in your story for the past five years. No longer was he the charming male lead, the prince coming in on a white horse to swoop you off your feet in a grand gesture of romance.
Hyunjin was the loss of your life. The one that managed to get away even with the tight grip you’ve tried to keep on his heart.
Hyunjin transformed into a background character that won’t be there for the ride, and won’t get to witness the new developments happening from now on in your life.
You would have rather been the one written off the story if it meant keeping him. Unfortunately, that was not a possibility since without you, there wouldn’t be a story to begin with.
︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.
116 notes · View notes
peterman-spideyparker · 16 hours ago
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The Great War (Babe Part 2) (Matt Murdock x fem!Reader)
Author’s Note: Hey everyone! At the risk of forgetting to post part two, I'm doing it now! Like I mentioned in the first post, it's only a part two if you want it to be--you can just have read Babe and leave it at that, but this is just more idea to go with it that I couldn't stop my brain from working on. Enjoy! :)
Summary: It's been almost a month since you left Matt. Everything hurts, and you're doing what you can to get through. Foggy calls, and it turns out Matt's not doing much better. For the first time, you have no idea what your future with Matt Murdock looks like.
Listening rec: The Great War by Taylor Swift
Warnings: ANGST, Matt and reader are separated (Matt cheated), they’re both heartbroken at the situation, swearing, fighting/shouting/anger, throwing, Matt grabs reader (NO VIOLENCE, but the Devil of Hell's Kitchen pokes out), depression (mention of the word "borderline suicidal" in reference to season three Matt), Matt being reckless, lots of crying, drinking
Other Characters: Foggy Nelson
Word Count: 2,820
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Before you can even say a feeble hello, Foggy is already speaking. “Matt’s devastated,” he breathes. 
You’re hurt. Offended, even. You left because of what he did in California, and he has the audacity to feel sorry for himself? “And I’m not?” you say, probably with more venom than appropriate. “Goodbye, Foggy.”
“Wait, hold on!” You don’t know why you don’t hang up, but you stay on the line. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t the right way to start this. How have you been?”
“I’m awful, Foggy. My marriage is done, my heart hurts, I’ve lost the man I love . . . I’ve never been worse.”
“(Y/N) . . . I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault, Fog. All this is between me and Matt. It’s why you called, I’m guessing? Get all the answers for what exactly happened between us?”
“That’s between you guys. It’s none of my business or anyone’s. I’ve already ripped Matt a new one for doing what he did, and so did Karen and Frank, but he’s . . .” He stops and lets out a sigh. “Do you remember hearing from Maggie what Matt was like after Midland Circle? Despondent, depressed, borderline suicidal?”
Of course you remember, how could you ever forget? You’ve never seen him like that in your life. But the term “borderline suicidal” makes a pit grow in your stomach as you straighten up.
“He hasn’t tried to—?” you start to ask. 
“No, no, that was shitty wording on my part. But Matt’s not himself. It’s like watching a hollow corpse with a temper move about. He either doesn’t care at all, or a little thing will set him off. He’s being reckless on patrol, he’s drinking more than he usually does. I’ve been covering for him at the office, but . . . You need to talk to him.”
You close your eyes, tears rolling down your cheek. “I can’t, Foggy.”
“(Y/N)—.”
“He broke my heart, and I broke his in return. I stomped on it. I love him and I hurt him. If I talked to him . . . That’s salt on the wound for both of us.” More tears stream down your face as you think about it. “We both vowed not to hurt one another. H-He hurt me, but he wanted to fix it. I hurt him and don’t have that same courage to try.”
“Try now,” Foggy pleads. “Try now, help one another. Even if it’s for the last time.”
“O-Okay,” you say before you can realize it.
Foggy breathes a sign of relief. “Come to the loft.”
The loft. The scene of the crime.
You breathe a quiet confirmation before you hang up, taking time to mentally prepare yourself before you grab your purse and leave your sister’s place to talk Matt off whatever ledge he’s currently perched on. 
It’s a short trip, and Foggy meets you in the lobby of Matt’s building. He pulls you in for a long hug, and you actively tell yourself not to cry. 
“He’s that bad, huh?” you sniffle.
“Yeah,” Foggy sighs. “I’ve never been for him like this before. It’s like he’s not the same person.”
“I know what you mean,” you say quietly. “I haven’t felt like myself since that day.”
Foggy looks at you with a crestfallen expression, and you give him one more hug before you make your way up to the loft. 
Your key still works—you’re afraid if you knock, he won’t let you in. Hell, he probably heard you turn the block on your way here and wouldn’t answer out of anger or annoyance. Your stomach churns when you see Matt sitting in the chair. He’s in sweats, his posture is curved, his hair is disheveled, and he’s growing a thick beard. Beer bottles are on the table in front of him mixed with trash.
“Matt?” you breathe, but he remains unmoved. As you move closer toward him, he sits there like a statue, not caring to look your way. “Matt, it’s me.” Still, he doesn’t gaze your way. 
Putting your purse in its usual spot, you make your way over to him in the chair, gently cupping his face in your hands to tilt him up toward you. You suck in a small breath when you see the bruises and cuts on his cheeks, nose, and chin. If this is what his face looks like, you can only imagine the other injuries that his clothes are hiding.
“Matt,” you breathe. “What happened?”
He just closes his eyes in shame, starting to turn. You don’t let him, though, bringing his face back to center.
“Matty,” you plea. “Matt, talk to me, sweetheart.”
“You’re not my sweetheart anymore,” he finally says, and it burns like acid. You deserve it—you gave it just as good to him when he came back from California. “And I’m not yours.”
“We didn’t sign any papers yet,” you breathe, trying to lighten the mood as you hold back your own tears. “So, legally, I am.”
Matt peels back from my touch like he’s getting out of an itchy sweater. Okay, you deserve it. You deserve all of it.
“Matt—.”
“You left,” he spits. “You left just like everyone else, even when you swore you wouldn’t.”
You sit back on your heels. It hurts, but it’s the truth. “I did.” He turns back toward you like he’s shocked you actually admitted it. “I didn’t try to hear you out, and I’m sorry. I should’ve. It was . . .”
He turns toward you, ice in his blind gaze. You’ve never seen Matt like, this, and as he starts to slowly rise from his chair, it’s the first time you can say that you’ve ever been afraid of him. 
You spring to your feet as well, trying to at least keep things on the same level posture wise. 
“Now you’re trying to make things better?” he growls low. “You’re the one that tore it up in front of us. I wanted to stop the breakage, but you readied the wrecking ball. This shit is your mess. It’s like this because of you.”
Now you start to get mad. “Oh, just me? Any breakage that was the breakage that you started. Those images and videos were circulating for two whole days before you came home. I didn’t hear a single word from you—a ‘good morning’ or ‘I’m boarding my plane’ or otherwise. You just showed up here expecting it to all be fine—.”
“You don’t get to assume in this,” he grits, the space between you dangerously nonexistent as one of his hands tightly grab on to your wrist.
“Yes, I can. There’s two people in this mess. I’m saying what it seemed like on my end,” you say, your heart thundering in your chest. Matt wouldn’t hurt you—he’d never do that. But with how his hand is on your arm and the mood he seems to have been in since you left, you’re not entirely confident in that statement anymore.
“You never really knew a damn thing about me, did you?” he frowns. “You just kept a version of Matt Murdock in your head and lived with it this entire time, huh?”
“Maybe I did. Because this isn’t the Matt Murdock I came over to talk to. This is the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. So, if you’re gonna let the Devil out, let him out on me, Murdock. Do your worst.”
“Get the fuck out of here,” he threatens, the muscle in his jaw feathering as he clenches his teeth. 
“No. I came here to talk, and that’s what we’re gonna—.”
Before you know it, his hand is off your wrist, wrapping around the neck of a beer bottle before he whizzes it past your head like a threat. You flinch, moving to cover your head before the bottle leaves his hand, and you remain curled as the glass hits something behind you, knocking it over as they both crash to the ground. You slowly turn to see what was caught in the crosshairs—the beer bottle had hit a picture frame, knocking it down off the side table and breaking it. You can tell by the shifts in his body language he immediately regrets it, his shoulders slumping as tears start to sting your eyes. You notice he starts to take a step toward you out of the corner of your eye, but you’re on the move toward the broken picture frame. One of the pictures from our wedding.
Huh, you think. How fitting. 
You lower yourself to your knees, carefully picking it up and looking at how your faces were beaming with nothing but joy, how you held onto one another with love . . . and now how it’s the opposite. How you’re broken. You wouldn’t look at him the day you left, and he won’t look at you know. You curl over the photo, freely weeping on the pile of glass. You just want it things to go back to normal.
You hear Matt pad softly over to you, squatting as if he wants to put a hand on your back to soothe you, but he backs away to let you cry. Tears pour out of you like a geyser, a constant flow down your cheeks as you sit alone in the living room. Maybe it was an accident that he hit the picture, but his senses are so sharp . . . maybe he did want to hit it. Maybe he was trying to prove a point. Maybe he wanted to show you that by you leaving, you were the one who put the final nail in the coffin of your marriage.
Maybe he really doesn’t want you anymore. Maybe he stopped wanting you before he went to Los Angeles. Maybe he stopped wanting you a long time ago.
You’re still crying when you hear Matt come back over toward you. Through your limited vision, you watch him clean up the broken glass from the bottle and the frame. It takes him a few trips, but it’s eventually all cleaned up. He leaves again before walking back toward you, holding out a box of tissues. With a shaking hand, you grab one and wipe at your nose, desperately trying to calm yourself. 
“This is my favorite picture of us from our wedding,” you sniffle. “This is what I would grab if I could only take one thing from the loft in an emergency. This would be it. And now . . .”
You can’t finish your sentence, just weeping uncontrollably in your little ball on the floor over your two deepest treasures—this photo and your marriage. Shattered. 
“Angel . . .” Matt says so softly, so tenderly, you almost forget that your life has essentially imploded.
“This is all my fault,” you cry, spiraling, trying to trace it all back to you, your actions. The big explosive things all seem to have their root in something you can place back to yourself. Matt slept with someone else, but it goes back to something you did— you had a short attention span and a bit of a short fuse before he left because a bunch of shit at work that kept piling up, and you knew he was frustrated . . . how much he hates planes. You egged him on. You did nothing to help, and when he left to go to California, he found someone who understood him in a way you couldn’t. You need an answer for this, and that seems to be it.
“This is my favorite picture of us, and it’s all my fault,” you sniffle, repeating what you said earlier, your chest burning from the tears and hyperventilation. 
“It’s just a picture—,” he starts to say softly.
“It’s not just a picture,” you weep. “This, us, it’s all my fault. We’re broken because of me. This is all my fault.”
You hear Matt pad softly over to you, squatting down and taking the picture from your hands, putting it on the arm of a nearby chair before pulling you in for a hug. All you can do is sob against his shoulder as he holds onto you. 
“This isn’t because of you,” he tries to soothe, sounding like he’s about to cry as well. “It . . . It was my poor judgement, it was my shortcomings that did this. You’re in the flaming wreckage, and it’s not fair.”
“I just want things how they were,” you sniffle. “I want to come home. I want us to be okay.”
Matt’s silence is terrifying. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt rage like that. Darkness like that,” he says softly. You feel a tear fall from his cheek to the top of you head. “Shit, I grabbed you . . . Fuck, I’m so sorry. I-I would never—(Y/N), please—.”
“I . . . I,” you start. He’d never hurt you. For all his anger, for all his strength, Matt would never hurt you. But when you’re facing off with the man that patrols the streets? The man that brought down Wilson Fisk not once, but twice? You just didn't know. 
“I scared you.” Tears are flowing down his cheek. “I could hear your heart race . . . I knew you were scared and for a moment, and I didn’t care. It’s like I wanted you to be scared, and I liked it. I was glad you were scared of me.” He sounds disgusted with himself. “You really thought I was going to hit you.”
“I did. For a moment,” you admit. It catches in your throat, but there’s no use in lying if you’re trying to fix this. 
Is that what you came over to do? To fix this? 
He lets out a long breath, slumping to the floor. “What happened to us?”
“I . . . I don’t know,” you say. And it’s the truth. You don’t really know how you got to this point. Yes, you know why you walked out, but it’s like there were the small hairline fractures in glass—so fine that you couldn’t see them—and then a hammer came down on it and a million little pieces was left in its wake. But how he sounds . . . you know that tone. When it’s been a rough night on patrol, it coats his words like sap—he’s going into a dark headspace, and when he gets too far in, it’s hard to get him out, and you need to get him out. You move around to carefully sit next to Matt, putting a hand on his forearm. You can feel a thick bandage on his arm before you can process that he winces, so you move to slide your hand in his. 
“I know you’d never hurt me,” you breathe. “I know you’d never lay a hand on me like that.”
“But I did, though. If I added more pressure, I could’ve snapped your worst. It would have been easy for me to do.” You see him swallow the lump forming in his throat, his own self-hatred inflating at a dangerous rate. “I was full of rage. You were scared of me.”
“I’m scared of all of this,” you admit, your voice small. “What’s happening to us. How it’s effecting you and me. We’re . . . We’re not ourselves. I-I don’t recognize either of us. I don’t like it. I want things back how they were.”
“But they can’t go back.” He sounds broken, hollow—just how you feel. 
“Are . . . Are we too far gone?” you ask just above a whisper, terrified of the answer. 
“I don’t want us to be.”
You hang your head. “I haven’t been sleeping,” you admit. “It doesn’t feel right without you, your arms around me.”
He places a gently hand on your chin, lifting your face up and wiping tears off of your cheeks before pulling you in for a hug. It feels like warmth. Like love. “I can’t sleep in the bed. It smells like you, and with you gone . . . I just patrol all night.”
It’s like when you think your heart can’t break any more, it does. “I still feel so upset, but, I feel hollow more than anything. Like part of me is missing.”
“I’m sorry,” he breathes. “I’m so, so sorry.”
“I’m sorry, too. I-I’m so sorry.” He kisses the top of your head. “I should’ve listened, I shouldn’t have left like that, but I was just so upset. I couldn’t be around you without feeling like screaming or crying or both.”
“We . . . We can get through this. Can’t we?”
You think about it. Is this something you can do? You’ve been through worse— you’ve seen him near death more times than you would like, you’ve seen how the toll of Daredevil and the stress of being an attorney wear him down. Even the debate on how we should bring up our children should you choose to have them strained you both. But your happiness, your life together, it’s bigger than your low points. It has to be.
It has to be. 
Right?
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orcelito · 2 months ago
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Ok I'm thinking about kabuto backstory again and thinking about how unfair and fucked up it all is like
> be Danzo
> threaten local orphanage mother into returning to being a spy (by threatening the kids there)
> force them to send One Kid too because he "lost a man" while obtaining the intel he's threatening her to spy over (the kid is Kabuto, who volunteered bc he overheard them threatening the mother over this) (Danzo knows he overheard)
> train kabuto to be a spy while orphanage mother is off on her long spy job as well
> bait spy mom with the promise of keeping kabuto safe to keep her agreeing to work with you
> decide they both are too good at their jobs (????) Of being spies (that work for you?????)(they've been loyal this whole time????) So they're too dangerous and both need to die
> keep mom and kid away from each other as kid grows up
> literally DOCTOR FAKE PHOTOS of the kid growing up to make it seem like he looks totally different now???? So she won't recognize him?????
> give her the assassination assignment of killing the Real Kabuto (who she won't recognize) so they'll kill each other
> whoops, Kabuto survived and killed her instead, oh well at least Orochimaru's watching him now
I'm just like. How fucked up is it to threaten these people into working as spies for you "for the good of Konoha", and then decide that these people (who have given NO INDICATION of intending to betray Konoha) are too good at being spies and thus Too Dangerous and should be killed for it. But no he can't just kill them in a normal way. He had to manufacture an entire scenario so that they'd kill EACH OTHER while making the mom not recognize him (with the express purpose of breaking the kid's spirit) like BROOOOOO I know you ordered the whole Uchiha clan to be massacred (conducting genocide for the sake of 'peace') actually now that I think about it he ordered this of itachi. Ordered him to kill his own family. Of course Danzo would get off on making a mother and son kill each other "for the good of Konoha" he's almost fucking cartoon villain level of horrible past the point of logic EXCEPT there really are people this awful that have existed. Plenty of them. And they have also justified it as being "for the good of [nation]" like that's the Thing, he's a war hungry nationalist that has decided He Knows Best so he's going to fuck up SO many people's lives, up to and including his own damn citizens!!!! And this bitch thinks he deserves to be kage?!?!?! Fucking Hiruzen letting him run wild like this. He knew Danzo was stealing children and indoctrinating them into a murder cult (where, keep in mind, he purposefully raises kids in pairs so they view each other as family AND THEN ORDERS THEM TO KILL EACH OTHER)(AGAIN!!!! with the family killing, what is his PROBLEM) but Hiruzen just let it fucking happen. Spineless fucking piece of shit. He fucked Naruto up he fucked Orochimaru up he fucked up Royally with Danzo like come ONNNNNNNNNN
Rattling the bars of my cage rn at how awful Danzo is and how he was able to just. DO THIS???? I know the bitch is dead but he's not dead enough. Give me the glock.
#speculation nation#fanny watches naruto#sorry im just losing my mind over this. this changes EVERYTHING with kabuto#and you know i already hated danzo so much. but i just now realized his fucking obsession with making family members kill each other#it's probably for the sake of 'killing their emotions' which he sees as necessary to become a good ninja (*cough* a good tool for the state)#im kicking danzo's head in as we speak. the skull. or whatever was left after he exploded. probably nothing much actually.#it's not good enough I NEED TO KILL HIM SO BADDDDD HE NEEDS TO BE DOUBLE DEAD TRIPLE DEAD#QUADRUPLE OR PERHAPS EVEN INFINITY DEAD.#sets up an infinite time loop of me killing Danzo just to make sure hes super super super super dead#YELLING SCREAMING I HATE DANZO SO MUCHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!#honestly as much as i loved sasuke killing danzo i wish itd happened later.#bc danzo's stinky fingers were in so many pies. he was set up as this horrible mastermind#and then he dies... what... 2/5ths into shippuden?? and what do we have now. cringefail sadboy decided to kill the world for his fantasies?#weird alien goddess?? bc all the world's struggles were clearly bc of an alien instead of any human fault???? or something?????#idk i havent gotten that far yet. but thats what ive gathered from online.#for as wonderful of characters as kishimoto writes he really isnt that great at overall plot.#compelling world. fascinating interactions. cool fights and mechanics.#unfortunately he set up a guy to be a big bad and he died before even halfway through and now we have to watch several hundred episodes#of the most Ninjas One Upping Each Other In Make Believe plotlines ever#like the 'i hit you' 'well i have a shield that blocks hits' 'well i hit you with a sword that cuts through anything'#'well i cast a spell before you hit me that makes me invulnerable to attacks' etc etc COME ON MAN it gets so BORING.#i miss the good old days of sakura fighting sasori. now shes sidelined to the medic tents bc shes a poor vulnerable medic or w/e#idk some parts of this is cool. but so much of it is unsatisfying. like the bijuu battle??? come on.#naruto making friends with kurama was great. the fight with all the jinchuuriki was pretty boring.#like come on this is supposed to be a Big Deal. aaaand what do we have now? another fucking bijuu bomb.#oh wait theyre all casting the bijuu bomb together!!! no worries naruto is making a bijuu bomb of the same exact size#so they counteract and shoot into the stratosphere and theres a Big Boom! wow! so original!#yawn. yawn especially at the madara vs kages fight. at least im enjoying the uchiha bros vs kabuto fight.
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our-inspire-verse · 1 month ago
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How the fuck am i supposed to recieve comfort or tell myself im not a horrible fucking EVERYTHING when literally i do nothing but cause harm. How the fuck is a perpetrator of harm supposed to be consoled? Im that fucking horrible huh
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insanechayne · 11 months ago
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~ ~ ~
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thewispsings · 5 months ago
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two people that matched each others freak | max verstappen
pairing: max verstappen x teammate!reader
summary: max verstappen and y/n l/n love to match each others freak.
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liked by, carlossainz, maxverstappen1, redbullracing and 692,028 others!
yourusername: what an unfortunate series of events. first crash kinda nervous 🥰🥰@/carlossainz kill yourself for what you did to me.
view comments below!
user1: LMAO THE CASUAL SELFIE AFTER THAT BIG ASS CRASH ??
user2: carlos deserves way more then a 5 place penalty after that…
user3: no literally ??? y/n is literally BLEEDING !!
maxverstappen1: yeah @/carlossainz. KILL YOURSELF.
user4: you tell ‘em max 🗣️🗣️
user5: queens first crash and it’s not even her fault 😞😞
user6: queens first crash and she almost DIES
user7: carlos hate club reunite !!!
user8: oh let’s not…
user9: to quote y/n: “accidents happen. i know carlos didn’t get into his car with the intention of hurting me. there’s no hard feelings whatsoever.”
carlossainz: IM SO SORRY Y/N.
yourusername: i only take apologies in cash and gift cards xx.
maxverstappen: i only take apologies in cash.
carlossainz: why would i apologize to you?
maxverstappen1: because you almost killed my bestfriend.
carlossainz: do you accept venmo?
user8: max still calling y/n his bestfriend even tho they’ve been dating for two years now is so ??
user9: they were bestfriends for 6 years before that so..
charles_leclerc: give us a big scare there l/n 😬 happy you’re okay!
yourusername: thank you charles ❤️ but because you are carlos teammate, i feel like i am also owed compensation from you as well.
maxverstappen1: yeah leclerc! pay up!!
charles_leclerc: text me the amount 😞
user10: i love how max just goes along with everything y/n says???
user11: we love a man who matches his gfs freak ❤️❤️
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liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz, redbullracing, and 720,629 others!
maxverstappen1: thank you to @/charles_leclerc and @/carlossainz for funding our date night 💙
view comments below!
user12: NO WAY
user13: CARLOS AND CHARLES ACTUALLY SENT THEM THE MONEY ???
user14: this is so cute 🥹
user15: yns so pretty 🙁
maxverstappen1: the prettiest 💙💙
user16: i just looked at my bf and sighed
charles_leclerc: ofc!! cute couple 🥰🥰
user17: charles definitely has a favorite couple
user18: y/n, my favorite nerd
user19: max, my favorite nerd lover
user20: perfect couple
user21: i have a theory that y/n and max are so happy together because they genuinely compliment each other so well
user21: they literally clicked as soon as they met, and they have said that “they feel at home” with each other, they can be their true selves when they’re together
user21: conclusion; i’m lonely and i wish i had a relationship like this
carlossainz: you’re welcome ig. am i forgiven now?
yourusername: we’ll see!
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liked by 284,029 others!
f1gossip: throwback thursday!!! throwback to when max and y/n broke the internet, by announcing they were both no longer virgins..through cake.
view comments below!
user22: oh yes the good old days
user23: been matching each others freak since DAY ONE
user24: back when ynstappen was still not OFFICIALLY confirmed
user25: you should throwback to when max refused to resign with red bull until they gave y/n a multi-year contract ☺️☺️
user26: this was a CRAZY day for f1
user27: this connected the dots for all the ynstappen shippers because they basically confirmed they lost their virginity to EACHOTHER!!
user28: did we ever find out who’s idea this was?
user29: a couple months ago it was brought up and max spoke: “i know lots of people think it was yns idea..but it was actually mine. i guess i was just tired to hiding our relationship, so i brought it up, and y/n thought it was hilarious.”
user30: my parents ☝️☝️
user31: from teammates, to friends, to bestfriends, to lovers. living my dream.
user32: them.
user33: if they breakup i will genuinely never believe in love ever again.
user34: them becoming bestfriends was so unexpected, but made so much sense.
user35: if it weren’t for the ice cream shop they never would have happened ☹️
user36: pls explain?
user35: this is when y/n and max had just started the season as teammates, max hadnt performed his best at one of the races, coming in at 6th with y/n behind in 7th
user35: after the race, y/n had unexpectedly asked max to go get ice cream with her at a ice cream shop nearby
user35: max, feeling like he didn’t deserve to celebrate in anyway, declined. but y/n persisted, basically pulling him into that ice cream shop
user35: that’s when max said he truly had the time of his life, he felt happy, even though his race went horrible, he said that he has so much fun with yn and that he has never laughed so hard; the start of ynstappen ☹️
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liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing, landonorris, and 729,624 others!
yourusername: siri, play nasty by tinahe.
view comments below!
maxverstappen1: listening to it right now!
maxverstappen1: oh wow
maxverstappen1: i like this liefde!! 💙💙
maxverstappen1: come to the room so we can listen together!!
yourusername: coming!! 💙💙
landonorris: you are aware you can text privately right?
user36: THE ICE CREAM SHOP PICTURE
user37: he looks so happy 😭😭😭😭
user38: sobs
user39: y/n healing maxs inner child is something i KNEW i needed.
user40: power couple !!!
danielricciardo: i been a nasty girl, i been a nasty girl
user41: i need someone to love me like max loves y/n
landonorris: whos gonna match my freak 😣
user58: ME I WILL PLS LANDO I WILL
user42: the first picture?? 😭😭
user43: omg the second picture. i’m going to throw up with joy. i love you guys.
user44: ynstappen ships used to PRAY for days like these.
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liked by, yourusername, redbullracing, danielricciardo, and 829,924 others!
maxverstappen1: i’ll match her freak!!! i will !!!
view comments below!
user45: yes max, we know
user46: i just looked at my boyfriend and sighed
user47: the shirt???
maxverstappen1: @/danielricciardo thank you for the shirt :D i love it 💙
user48: i’m totally ready for max to wear that shirt on race day…
yourusername: the perfect photographer 🥰
maxverstappen1: it’s easy when my muse is perfect ☺️☺️
user49: that SHOULD BE ME.
user50: con🥹gra🥹tula🥹tions
user51: no one will ever understand how much i love this couple
user52: we love a man who matches his gfs energy ❗️❗️❗️
user53: so happy for you guys! haha. ha. ha. so happy.
charles_leclerc: beautiful shirt mate!
user54: the way charles and max still don’t follow each other but this is charles every time max post:
user55: oh! such a cute shirt! haha, ha, i’m so lonely.
user56: max could do better
maxverstappen1: kill yourself you worthless piece of garbage
user57: y’all saying you miss mad max but he makes an appearance every time someone says something negative about y/n 😭
. . .
notes: took a small break to enjoy my summer break start!! but i’m back, request are open !!
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inkskinned · 1 year ago
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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earthtooz · 2 years ago
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fluff with a lot of angst, reader is injured and in hospital for one scene but it's not graphic, lovesick!bakugou
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during the many years you’ve loved bakugou katsuki, you have only seen him cry three times.
the first time, you were alarmed. where you fell asleep on the couch awaiting your boyfriend’s return, you did not expect to wake up to the sound of sniffles and the sight of drying tears.
“katsuki? what’s the matter?” you asked cautiously, immediately sitting up to wipe his tears away.
your touch, like a healing balm to the blond, lets you treat him like glass when both of you know he is nothing akin to fragile.
“‘s nothin’,” he gruffly huffs, voice cracking a little.
“if you say so,” you murmur skeptically, knowing better than to prod when it’s bakugou involved.
“were ya waitin’ for me?”
you nod. “i thought we could eat together but- what time is it?”
“almost nine.”
“oh. i thought we could eat dinner together but your patrol must have ended a lot later.”
his heart aches pitifully, worsening when he watches you rub the sleep out of your eyes. “‘m sorry, i didn’t mean to come home so late.”
“it’s okay, i get it.”
“we can still eat together, if that’s okay,” he grumbles, looking away bashfully and missing the way your face brightens.
“that sounds lovely, i’ll go heat up dinner-“
“-no, i’ll do it. it’s my fault for coming home later, i’ll call you when it's done.”
bakugou is out of your sight before you can argue any further. as you watch your boyfriend disappear, you’re left pondering on the couch as to why he was acting so uncharacteristically. did he have a bad day? did something happen at work? was he unable to save someone? that’s can't be the reason, he always-
“dinner’s done!” your boyfriend calls from the kitchen, disrupting your thoughts.
when you asked, it didn't sound like he had a terrible day, in fact it sounds like he had a successful patrol, but you cannot fathom any other reason for his melancholy, but if he’s forgotten about it, then you will too.
but... bakugou doesn’t forget. he still remembers when midoriya first alluded to the inheritance of his quirk from all might, he remembers the night vision goggles kirishima broke when trying to save him that one time, he remembers your favourite things and what makes you happy; he remembers everything.
and he’ll never forget that the tears he shed tonight were over the fact that bakugou will never get to show you how much he loves you.
bakugou katsuki, for the first time, realised just how painfully human he is.
he has a heart that beats for you, limbs that longingly ache to be near you whenever he’s not, a mind devoted to you and a cursed mouth so incapable of expressing it all.
if he could, he would wrestle the night sky to give its stars to you instead because you love stars. you love the stupid things in life that bakugou can't give. he can’t give you everything you could ever want and with that realisation, bakugou discovered just how beatable he was.
you may never know the multitude of bakugou’s love for you, and that fact alone brings him to tears as he gazed upon your sleeping figure on the couch, resting peacefully until his arrival.
the second time, you wake up confused.
the lights in the room are dim, there's a machine beeping intermittently and you think it's a heartbeat monitor but you don't really think too hard about it because your body hurts.
you have to blink a few times to get the blurriness out of your eyes, but you eventually comprehend the sterile walls of a hospital room. then the memories come back one by one, a patrol gone awry, evacuating citizens and... ah, being slammed into a wall back-first by the villain. explains the pain.
then you register the looming figure beside your bed, a pair of widened vermillion eyes gazing into your own with untameable blond hair to match, you can't help the smile from spreading on your face when you see your lover.
"hey," you cough weakly, throat dry and scratchy from lack of use.
next thing you know, bakugou's bulky figure is draped over yours, forehead resting on your chest as his arms gently snake around your torso, bringing you into his chest and pressing himself firmly against you.
you feel him; his relief, his sorrow, his devotion, his painful sobs as he shakes against you and it kills you that the only thing you have the strength to do is run a hand through his hair. you want to kiss him, to tell him that it's okay and that there's nothing to cry about, that you're here and nothing will change that, but you're so very sore and barely in tact.
"don't do this shit again," he threatens weakly and you feel his tears seep through your hospital gown. "you had me so fuckin' worried, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, i can't believe you'd do this to me, do you know how much it sucked to be without you?"
"sorry, katsuki," you whisper and he looks up at you, glossy eyes and quivering lip.
"promise me you'll never do this again."
cupping his cheeks with your hands, there's a rush of deja vu as your thumbs catch his tears. "i don't know how realistic that promise is given that this is my job-"
"-your job is to save lives, not go crashin' into buildings, idiot."
you laugh gently, a stabbing pain making itself known in your gut when you do. your wince doesn't go unnoticed by bakugou, who knows you better than the back of his hand and his heart lurches at the slightest evidence that you're in pain. "still, i won't make promises i can't keep, you know how our jobs are, katsuki."
he frowns, furrowing his brows. "then i'll promise to always be there for you. don't go where i can't."
"that's not realistic."
"watch me."
"okay then, deal."
there are questions you still want answers to, but for now, you'll let the blond continue crying with his ear pressed against your chest.
(you won't ever know about the few days bakugou has spent in your hospital ward, absolutely miserable as he looks upon your gaze with anticipation. he hates how helpless he is, that he can't do anything to rid of this horrible feeling in his chest but wait for you to wake up. he hates that he can't any semblance of peace, he hates the man that love has made him, but most importantly, he hates being without you.
you won't ever know the struggle it was to get bakugou out of your room for even just an hour. midoriya and kirishima had to wrestle him in hopes of getting some proper food together, and yaomomo and todoroki had to literally block the door with various items to prevent his entrance.
you won't ever know how alienated bakugou felt, unable to face your shared home without you in it. without your music playing, without your shoes messily thrown at the genkan, without your comforting presence to return to when all is said and done, there isn't much of a home for bakugou.
you won't ever know how desperately bakugou clung to your hand, fiddling with it whenever he needed a safe haven.
you won't ever know the amount of tears the blond had shed by your side, hunched over your bed, with nothing and no one to comfort him but the sound of the heartbeat monitor.)
the third time, you cry too.
it's your wedding day.
when the news first came out, japan practically roared with excitement and anticipation for the special day that their two favourite heroes would wed. the enthusiasm has not dimmed down even months later, and now, as you're one door away from your lover, you feel it buzzing in your bones.
it all goes by in a blur. one second you're about to trip over yourself in nervousness and the next, you're walking down the aisle with a stunned bakugou failing to keep his composure at the altar. despite the amount of close friends and family around you, all you can see is the love of your life who looks at you with unmatched adoration and affection in those ruby irises of his.
up close, however, all you can see are the tears forming in his eyes, and his first sniffle takes everyone in the room by surprise. no doubt, this is their first and last time seeing their beloved hero cry.
more tears are shed and then, it's just waterworks from practically everyone in the room as bakugou breaks down even more.
thank goodness for a private wedding because you know he is never going to live it down if the press got their hands on this image.
a close friend of yours hands you a handkerchief and you wipe away bakugou's tears with a teasing smile, unable to keep your wobbly laughter at bay as your lover- japan's symbol of victory and heroism, turns to nothing but putty in your hands. he lets you treat him so delicately because you've seen him at his lowest, most shaken, and most unlovable, yet still decided to stay.
"sorry," he apologises as you dab at his tears, words reserved for you and you alone. "you're just so... divine. i can't believe i'm marryin' you."
you feel your first tear roll down your cheek and bakugou catches it before it can go too far, wiping it away.
"such an embarrassin' way to start our wedding," he grumbles.
"embarrassing for the both of us, but memorable no doubt," you try to reason.
"everything is memorable as long as i'm with you."
"such a sap," you whack his shoulder lightly. "have you been saving that line for today specifically?"
"you should wait til the vows. bet mine are better than yours."
"i didn't know you could be a poet."
"only for you."
"well then, i can't wait to find out what else you are, katsuki."
"i'll always be yours."
you laugh, "i'm glad to hear that 'cause i love you."
"i love you even more, i'm crying just to prove it."
"your tears are dangerous."
"yeah well, you're marryin' these tears so."
"like i said, i can't wait."
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© EARTHTOOZ 2023, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.
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no-144444 · 2 months ago
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the grid: complimenting you!
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featuring: Oscar Piastri, Charles Leclerc, Daniel Riccardo, George Russell, Alex Albon, Lewis Hamilton, Max Verstappen, Lando Norris
-------------------
Oscar Piastri 
Oscar turned the corner into your shared bedroom, and he was worried. It was the first time you’d spent with your estranged sister in years, and he couldn’t even be there. Stupid media days and their awful timing.
There he found you, teary-eyed, and tired on your bed, still in the dress you changed into mere hours ago. He dropped his bag at the door and walked over to you, cupping your cheek in his hand. 
“What happened?” he whispered, gently brushing your cheek. 
You didn’t answer, just shook your head as your eyes welled with tears. You were willing yourself not to cry again. You’d cried so much in the 30 minutes you’d been home that you’d thought crying more wasn’t possible, then Oscar came in with all the care and comfort in the world and that made you want to cry even more. 
He sighed, dropping his hand. “We don’t need to talk,” he whispered. “I’ll run us a bath.”
He left you to regulate yourself again, running a bath in your en suite. He came back, walked you in, slipped your dress off of you and led you into the bath, before doing the same to himself. He sat behind you, gently shampooing your hair just how you like it, softly speaking as he spoke about his day. 
“Then Lando decided it would be a fucking brilliant idea to hide my shoes around HQ,” he chuckled softly, pressing kisses on your neck as you hummed along. This was what you needed. You needed him. After your bath, he got you both dressed and into bed, his arms around you before you started talking. 
“Nothing’s changed,” you mumbled into his neck.
“Pardon?” he whispered.
“Nothing’s changed, since we were kids. She was still the same bully. It’s pathetic really, but I really thought she’d turned a new leaf and wanted to reconnect,” you scoffed. “Silly, I know-”
“That’s not silly, it was hope,” he smiled. “And it’s not your fault that she’s an awful person. That’s not on you. You’re, frustratingly, just the person she’s decided to project her insecurities on, so you get the brunt of it. And that’s everything to do with her, and fuck all to do with you. You’re this incredible, funny, intelligent, talented, complex, beautiful, interesting woman, and you’re strong. So much stronger than the 11 year old she’s used to. She’s pathetic, and she needs to realise that you being brilliant shouldn’t take away from whatever she has going for her, but she can’t. And I’m so sorry that she upsets you, I just need you to know how fucking amazing you are, and how wrong she is about you.”
You hugged him closer. “Thank you Oscar, I love you.”
“I love you so much,” he pressed a kiss to your cheek. 
-------------------
Charles Leclerc
Charles was no stranger to complimenting you at all. He rather enjoyed the way you reacted when he complimented you. Sometimes you smiled, sometimes you laughed, sometimes you rolled your eyes, and sometimes you moaned-
Anyways, you and Charles had been going out for about 2 years at this point, and the entire world was none the wiser. To them, you were just Carlos’s girlfriend’s friend. That’s all you’d ever be, them at least. You got to enjoy the perks of celebrity status, without ever having to compromise your privacy, it was the dream. Sometimes it sucked when you got random videos of random girls on your instagram feed claiming to be with Charles, or claiming that he was with so and so, but you knew it was the sacrifice you needed to make to continue your relationship, and keep your privacy. 
Charles on the other hand, would scream the fact that you were his girlfriend for all to hear if he could. He was obsessed with you. When you’re in the Ferrari garage, he’s constantly trying to touch you, constantly looking at you, constantly winking at you, everything is about you. Most of the time you have to remind him that you’re not dating publicly. Any time you try to remind him, he hits you with “Why don’t they find out now, mi amour?”  To which you roll your eyes. 
What you didn’t think he’d ever do, was post pictures of you on his instagram (face and all, not even soft launching) to his 16.5 million followers with the caption ‘ma femme’.
-------------------
You practically ran through the Ferrari offices in Monaco, racing to get to your boyfriend and talk some sense into him. Too bad he was busy in a meeting with Fred. Kidding, you didn’t care. You knocked on the door, walked in before getting an answer, and grabbed his arm, and dragged him behind you into his own office. 
“You’re crazy,” you sighed. “You’re fucking insane Charles.”
He gave you a guilty smile and a shrug, wrapping his arms around your waist. “I’m so sorry my love, but I cannot not let everyone know about my most beautiful girl,” he pressed his lips to your cheek. “I don’t know what else to do-”
“You can’t sweet-talk your way out of this Charles, what the fuck am I going to do? I have to be a public figure now, I have to do-”
“You’ll do fine,” he whispered, nosing at your neck, breathing in your perfume. “You’ll be alright.”
Somehow, he made you believe him. 
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1,638,937 likes liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, carlosainz
ma femme
comments
arthurleclerc H20 just add water anyone? -> charlesleclerc she liked that. I did not.
alexalbon dude took hard launching to another level.
carlossainz :)
oscarpiastri wait so does that make Y/n my new mum? -> nicolepiastri Oscar?????? -> y/ny/l/n I promise he's yours :) (maybe? Charles is very attatched to you)
-------------------
Daniel Riccardo 
The FIA gala was a yearly event that you’d gotten used to attending. You were Daniel’s wife, and this year, Theo and Ellie, your twins, would finally be old enough to come with. They’d just turned 4, and you trusted them enough to behave themselves at such a public and prestigious event. The entire family was dressed to the nines, Theo and Daniel in matching black tuxedos, while Ellie wore a flowery dress, and you wore a red gown. 
You held Daniel’s hand, Ellie’s hand in your other, while Theo clung to his father like his life depended on it, and you three stepped out onto the carpet, cameras flashing, reporters shouting, people walking. 
After posing for a few photos, Ellie ran up to Penelope and Theo ran off with her, safely in Kelly’s hands. You waited with Daniel as he answered various reporters' questions. 
“And how do you feel about your wife and family supporting you tonight?” 
Daniel’s usual wide smile, somehow, got wider. He turned around and gestured for you to come over, you obliged. “It means more than anything that I have people in my corner, but especially my beautiful wife,” he pressed his lips to your cheek as you chuckled. “And my kids, of course.”
You chuckled as the camera panned to you, and Daniel couldn’t help but kiss you again. 
“She’s just the best person I’ve ever met, and I’m so lucky to have her in my life,” he grinned. You continued on with the night, and when you turned to him in your hotel bed, both of you tired and weary, you smiled. 
"I'm pretty luck to have you in my life too."
-------------------
George Russell
“How did you deal with the disappointment after your disqualification, George?” Will asked, and George fought back the urge to roll his eyes, but then remembered what you’d done for him when he got home to Monaco. 
He smiled. “Yeah well, I flew straight back home and kind of moped my way through the airport, but when I got home my lovely girlfriend had set up a dinner for us as a ‘consolation prize’- her words, not mine, and I think it cheered me right up.”
“So, your girlfriend is kind of like your rock?”
George nodded. “Completely. She’s supported my career from the very beginning and I’m very grateful to her for that, especially how she’s been kind enough to follow me around the world on this mad journey every year, all while still being the CEO of her own company, I mean, she’s just so hard-working and amazing, I just-” George was interrupted by Alex chuckling beside him. “Shut up Alex,” George scoffed, smiling. “I love her loads, so, yeah, she’s completely my rock and I adore her.”
-------------------
Alex Albon 
“And you have someone very special with you today, don’t you?” Jack smirked, nodding towards you off-camera. 
Alex smiled, looking at you, then back to Jack. “Yes, my fiancé is here today.”
Jack raised an eyebrow. “Fiancé?”
“Yeah, we got engaged just during the break,” Alex explained, the biggest smile on his face. 
“Congratulations!” Jack cheered, pulling Alex in for a hug. “I’m so happy for you both.”
“Thanks mate,” Alex smiled.
“So, now that you’re to be wed, do you want to join the interview Y/n?” Jack chanced, knowing how notorious you were for not wanting to do interviews. It wasn’t like you were rude or anything, but this was Alex’s sport, you had your own sport (figure skating), and you answered interview questions of your own all year. 
You shook your head, laughing as Jack tried to convince you to join the interview, Alex dying of laughter in the back. Eventually, you gave in, standing beside him with a big smile on your face. 
“So, wedding planning?” Jack turned to you both. 
“Nope, too busy focusing on the Winter Olympics,” you shot back, making Alex laugh. 
“Exactly, I’ll be busy wedding planning while she’s competing this winter,” he wrapped an arm around your waist. 
“Part-time F1 driver, full-time wedding planner?” Jack mused. “Taking time off F1 to plan then?”
“Sounds about right for the most beautiful girl on the planet,” Alex smiled as you felt your cheeks get hot.
You somehow got through the rest of the interview without getting embarrassed by him again, but at the end he pulled you in for a kiss in front of anyone who had decided to tune into the SkySportsF1 channel at that moment. 
Oh well, at least he was going to be your husband. 
-------------------
Lewis Hamilton 
You smiled as he crossed the finish line, another win to add to his 105. It had been a nerve-racking race, but you’d gotten through it. You followed Toto to the pitlane, ready to greet and congratulate him. And there he was, sweaty and gross, but on the top step, where he should be. Where you knew he would be. 
He ran straight over to you, wrapping you up in his arms and lifting you over the barrier. You were no stranger to this, over the years he’d always lift you over the barrier to ‘kiss you properly’. 
And he did that. He pressed his lips to yours as the entire Mercedes team cheered. 
“You did it again,” you smiled, pulling back. “Congratulations darling.” 
He smiled. “Thanks baby, I couldn't have done it without you.”
You scoffed and pushed him off, smiling. He had things to do, including the post-race interview.
“Wow Lewis, what a result! Anything special to make it just work this weekend?” 
Lewis smirked at you as you shook your head, begging him not to. “I had some good news this week that made me feel pretty good.”
You rolled your eyes as the crowd went wild. 
“And what would that news be?”
“I’m going to be a dad.” 
The crowd didn’t shut up for about 3 minutes. 
“Yeah,” Lewis continued. “My gorgeous wife is pregnant and I couldn’t be happier to have another little one of her running around. The camera panned to you and you shook your head. Lewis offered you his mic. 
“You can’t charm your way out of this,” you scoffed. 
“I can try,” he shrugged, pulling you into his side. “You are the most beautiful woman on the planet,” he smirked, speaking away from the mic. You rolled your eyes but smiled all the same.
He would be the death of you one of these days. 
-------------------
Max Verstappen 
Max sighed at his Sim as it crashed again, not noticing you coming in the front door. “This fucking thing keeps crashing!” He complained. “It’s such bullshit.”
“Did you try the thing I told you about?” you asked, walking over and leaning down beside him. 
“I did,” he lied. 
You rolled your eyes. “You’re such a shit liar,” you chuckled, starting up the software cleaner to get rid of old useless files. He wrapped an arm around your waist and pressed a kiss to your arm as you fixed up his sim, completely entranced by you. The chat was going wild as they watched the sweet moment between the two of you. 
You chuckled. “Hi chat,” you waved. “Max is a man-child, you’re right.”
“Hey!” he feigned annoyance as you laughed. 
“I’m kidding!” you pressed a kiss to his cheek. “You just need me to fix everything for you, right?”
“Well why date a smart girl and not use her brains?” he complimented and you felt yourself getting shy. 
“Shut up- just- your stupid game should work now!” you called after you as you walked off the kitchen. 
“I love you, liefste,” he laughed. 
“Fuck off!” 
-------------------
Lando Norris
“So today, we will be putting it to the test. Who is better in a kart? Me, or my F1 World Champion girlfriend?” 
“I wonder,” Max chuckled from behind the screen as Lando frowned, and you struggled to keep in your laughter. 
“Well, maybe you’ll win,” you offered, taking his hand. 
“Oh, thanks for the pity vote,” he scoffed. 
“Well, I’ve never lost,” you shrugged. To be fair, you’d had an incredible career, never dnfing, always in the top 3. You were unheard of. “Well, apart from when I lost to Max Fewtrell, our other Quadrant racer, in a race when we were kids.”
Max came on screen for a split-second, smiling about the fact that he’s the only person who’s ever beat you.
“Wait, what?” Lando exclaimed. “Max is the only person who’s ever beat you?”
“To be fair, I was 2 years younger, and it was my first time in an F3 car,” you defended. 
“How did I not know that?” Lando stared at the two of you. “You’re way too talented to have been beaten by Max.”
You burst out laughing as Max’s jaw dropped in shock at Lando’s words. 
“Thanks mate!” Max scoffed. 
“No problem,” Lando smirked back. “I mean seriously though! She’s fucking incredible! You can’t blame me for being a bit shocked.”
“Fuck off!” Max laughed in shock. “At least pretend to still respect me as a driver mate!”
“She’s my girlfriend!”
“I’m your best friend!” 
“She’s World Champion!”
Max was silent, then nodded. “Fair.”
-------------------
navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)
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cloudybarnes · 1 year ago
Text
new beginnings
Pairing: theodore nott x reader
Summary: after theo very unexpectantly breaks up with you, you try your best to pick yourself back up and move on. theo, on the other hand, seems to be having a harder time of that.
Word Count: 2.2k+
Masterlist
part two :)
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✰  ✰  ✰
“(Y/N), you’ve got to get out of bed at some point.” Hermione said. She was sitting on the side of your bed while you laid fully wrapped under the covers. Hermione gently tugged the blanket down from your chin, but you whined a little in protest. 
“‘Mione, I seriously can’t do this yet.”
Theo, your boyfriend of over a year had broken up with you only a few short days ago. You’d been in bed ever since, heartbroken over what could have been. 
“(Y/N), I know you’re upset, but you have to get up. I can’t let you live the rest of your life in bed! Don’t you know how badly your bum would hurt from laying all of your life?” Hermione joked. 
A small smile grew on your lips. “Yeah, that would be pretty tragic. I have too nice of a butt to let that happen.”
Hermione laughed. “There she is! I’ve missed your little jokes. Ron and Harry have become quite boring without you around. I think they’re worried about you.” 
You groaned. “Nooo. I hate when people worry about me. It’s just so awkward when I have to be like ‘I’m fine’, ‘no really, I’m fine’.”
Hermione shrugged. “Well, are you?”
You sighed, pulling the covers down from your chin. You looked up at her, a forlorn look on your face. “Definitely not, but I suppose you’re right. I don’t want to be stuck in here for the rest of my life. I just, I just don’t think I can handle seeing him right now.”
Hermione looked at you sadly. “I know. I hate seeing you so upset like this. God, what I would do to put a hex on that boy. He’s quite deserving of it, I would say. Maybe a rat’s tail, or a snake tongue.”
You giggled and sat up in bed. “Or how about we make him bald, or worse, blonde.” 
Hermione laughed at that. “Oh, Godric, then we’d have another Draco running around. I don’t think I could handle that.”
“Me either,” you laughed. Slowly, your smile dropped. “I just hate him. Well, no, I don’t hate him. And I hate that! I hate that even after breaking my heart I still love him and long for him.”
Hermione sighed, “I’m sorry, (Y/N/N), I wish I could say something or do something to make this better, I just really don’t know what.”
You shrugged, “yeah, it is what it is. It’s not your fault he’s an ass.”
She chuckled. “So, what do you say? You wanna try to get down to the great hall before dinner starts? I’m sure the guys would like to see you again.” 
You thought it over for a minute. You really had missed your friends. Other than Hermione, you’d ostracized yourself from everyone just to avoid Theo. 
But were you really ready to see him again? You didn’t think you would ever be ready to see him again. 
“You know what,” you stated, “I am gonna go to dinner tonight. And I’m gonna ignore him and see my friends who I’ve missed and ignore the hell out of him because he’s an ass and why should I be the one who has to stay in bed all day?”
“Woohoo!” Hermione cheered. “You’re amazing, let’s get you showered and dressed. I hate to say it, but if you’re gonna get back into the world, you need to wash your hair.” 
You chuckled as you picked up a piece of hair to inspect it. “Yeah, okay. Shower first, look really pretty, eat dinner, come back. Piece of cake.” 
You pushed the covers off of you as Hermione stood from the bed. 
She said, “I’m gonna grab your clothes, so just get in the shower. We shouldn’t be too late to dinner that way.”
You nodded and headed to the bathroom. You were gonna go in there, socialize with your friends, reassure them you were fine, and everything would go back to normal. You hoped. 
✰  ✰  ✰
“(Y/N)!” Ginny shouted as you and Hermione made it to the Gryffindor table. She stood up from her seat and pulled you right into a hug. 
Releasing the breath you didn’t know you were holding, you smiled and held her even tighter in the hug. Ginny was an amazing friend to you. She had tried her best to see you, but you didn’t let anyone in. Only Hermione since she shared the room with you. 
Pulling away, Ginny dragged you to sit down next to her. Hermione followed suit and sat on the other side of you. “Oh, we’ve missed you so much, (Y/N/N). We’ve all been so worried about you, haven’t we?”
Harry and Ron sat across from you. They both nodded their heads, agreeing with Ginny. 
“Yeah, what an ass,” Ron scoffed. “Honestly, someone needs to knock that bloke down from his high horse. He doesn’t know what he’s missing, (Y/N/N).”
“Yeah,” Harry replied as he pushed some mashed potatoes in his mouth. “Theodore is a walking red flag. I for one am not sorry for him. He lost a good girl and he’s gonna regret what he’s done.”
You smiled at them. “Yeah, I am pretty awesome. Thanks guys.”
They chuckled and continued eating. Merlin knows those two could eat an entire quidditch field full of food. 
“Ahem,” a throat cleared from behind you. 
Turning around, you saw Enzo standing there sheepishly. 
“Uh,” he stuttered, “hey, (Y/N).” 
“Oh,” you said. “Uh, hi Enzo. Do you need something?” You couldn’t hide the crack in your voice. Damn it.
Enzo was probably your favorite of Theo's friends. He was always the one you had most in common with, and therefore connected with pretty easily. You’d never hung out one on one, so you couldn’t really say he was your friend. 
“I-no I don’t need something, per say. I just wanted to talk to you. Alone, if, uh, that’s alright.” 
You looked back at your friends, unsure if you should talk with him or not. They all seemed to be the same amount of weary as you were, but you were intrigued. 
“I don’t really want to talk to Theo, if that’s what this is.”
Enzo shook his head. “No! Ahem, no. I wanted to talk to you. To, uh, apologize kind of? I don’t know. It’s fine if you don’t wanna talk to me, this was silly, I’m sorry-“
“It’s fine, Enzo,” you cut off his rambling. “I’ll speak with you.” You looked back at your friends as you stood up from the table. “I’ll be right back.”
They nodded their heads as you let Enzo lead you away from the table and out the door. 
Once you two stood out in the hallway, Enzo kind of just shuffled his feet around, almost as if he was shying away from talking to you. 
“Am I supposed to say something first?” You questioned, crossing your arms over your chest. 
“No, sorry,” he said as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I just feel a little awkward. I know what happened between you and Theo, but I guess I just hoped that didn’t mean we couldn’t be friends anymore.”
Your eyes softened a little at his confession. Enzo’s cheeks blushed a little as you stared at him. 
You sighed. You and Enzo really had been good friends, and you weren’t exactly keen on losing his friendship. 
“I mean,” he continued, “you’re the only one who doesn’t make fun of my poetry, you’re the one I go to when I want to talk about books or get recommendations from, and I just would hate to lose our friendship just because I’m friends with Theo as well.”
Your heart melted. “Enzo, of course I still want to be friends with you. I will admit, I was a little nervous you wouldn’t want to talk to me anymore after Theo broke up with me. I really enjoy being your friend.”
Enzo smiled in relief. “Oh good. I thought this would be more awkward and a little bit more sad than how it’s actually going.”
You giggled. “Thank god. I don’t know what I would have done if I just had a real breakup as well as a friendship breakup.”
Enzo smiled awkwardly. “Yeah, I am really sorry about that. I don’t know why he would ever break up with you in the first place. You’re so kind, and I thought you brought the best out in him.”
You forced an awkward smile. You really did not want to be talking about Theo right now, especially not about how you made him a better person. 
Before you could reply, a voice yelled out from behind you. 
“Oi!”
Turning around, you could see Theo storming up towards you and Enzo. 
“What the fuck, mate?” Theo huffed as he got in between you and Enzo. 
“Woah!” You shouted, backing up as Theo got up into Enzo’s face.  “Theo, what are you doing?”
He ignored you and kept talking to Enzo. “Are you hitting on my girlfriend? Right after all the shit we just went through?”
“What?” Enzo squeaked. “I’m not hitting on her, I was just talking to her.”
You were pissed. Your fists balled up at your sides as you stomped up to Theo. You grabbed onto his shoulder and yanked him away from Enzo. Theo didn’t see it coming, so he stumbled and fell back a couple of steps. 
“Get the hell away from him,” you growled. “And what the fuck is wrong with you, Theodore?” 
You got between Theo and Enzo, pushing your finger into your ex-boyfriend’s chest accusingly. 
“First,” you said, “you break up with me, break my heart, and then you have the fucking nerve to come up here all righteous and accuse Enzo of whatever the fuck you said, all while calling me your girlfriend when you’re the asshole who broke up with me!”
You glared at Theo, watching as his anger turned soft. “I am not your girlfriend anymore, Theodore Nott. You’re the one who made that happen, so you have no fucking right to come up in my conversations acting like I owe you anything.” 
“(Y/N),” he softly said. “I… I’m sorry. You’re right, I shouldn’t have come out here all crazy. I just, I hate seeing you with anyone else, even if it’s one of my friends.” 
He turned to talk to Enzo, “I’m sorry, mate. Will you give us a few minutes?” 
Enzo nodded his head and gave you an awkward smile before heading back into the dining hall. 
You huffed, settling down a little as you stared at Theo. 
He looked tired. His eyes had circles underneath them, and his cheeks didn’t have their usual flush to them. He was as gorgeous as ever, but he looked drained. 
“You don’t look so good,” you pointed out, trying to sound nonchalant. 
Theo frowned and softly said, “neither do you.”
Your lips pulled tight in a frown. Theo didn’t need to know how much he had affected you with the breakup. 
You sighed, “what are you doing, Theo?”
He shrugged and put his hands in his pockets awkwardly. “I, uh, I’m not really sure. I just didn’t like seeing you with Enzo.”
“Why? You broke up with me.”
Theo huffed, “I don’t know. I just don’t like seeing you with anyone else. It still feels like I’m supposed to be there. Like I’m supposed to be the one with you. I miss you.”
You shook your head as hurt started to creep back into your heart. “Don’t say things like that to me, Theo. Not after what you did. I loved you, and you broke up with me out of nowhere for no good reason, either.”
“I’m sorry,” he tried to reach for you, but you shrugged off his hand. “I don’t know why I did what I did. I just know that I regret it like crazy. I want to be with you, (Y/N). I’ve always wanted to be with you, I was stupid to let you go. Can you forgive me?”
Your lips pulled tight. “Theo, I can’t just get back with you like this.” You said. “I don’t trust you anymore. You broke my heart, and broke my trust. You gave me no reason for the breakup, so who’s to say it won’t happen right after we get back together?”
He shook his head. “Dolcezza, no. I won’t do that to you, not again. What can I do to prove this to you?”
You shrugged. “I don’t know. I can’t get back with you. Not like this, and not so soon. You really hurt me, Theo.”
“Well, what if we try being friends at least?” He suggested. 
“You wanna be my friend?”
“No,” he said immediately. “But I’ll settle for being your friend for as long as it takes to win you back.” 
Your heart warmed at what he had said. Maybe you could try being friends with him. He did really hurt you, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss him. 
“Okay,” you decided, “I’ll give you a chance to be my friend. Don’t hurt me again, Theodore, or I’ll get Ginny on you.”
He chuckled. “Don’t worry, darling, I’m gonna do whatever it takes to get my baby back. I can promise you that.” 
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traveler-at-heart · 30 days ago
Text
Doctor's In - Part 6
Summary: Your relationship with Wanda is put to the test when someone from her past stops by.
Wanda Maximoff x F!R
You’re an adult. You’re an adult.
You have to tell yourself over and over again, because it’s been forever since you’ve been to the movies and the popcorn smells delicious, the candy assorment is incredible and you want to buy it all.
“Can we get nachos too?” Tommy says and your mouth waters.
“Oh my God, nachos”
By the time you join Billy and Wanda at the theater, you’re carrying two buckets of popcorn, four sodas, nachos and gummies.
“You are never getting the food for movie night again” Wanda glares, thinking about the sugar high she’ll have to deal with if the twins actually eat everything.
“Babe, it’s ok. I’ll eat everything before the kids can” you joke. Wanda rolls her eyes and you keep your promise, checking that they’re not gulfing down everything before the movie starts.
Ever since you told the kids about you two, you’ve tried to make time for at least one family day as you call it, every week. So, today they wanted to see Inside Out 2 (after making you watch the first one) and you were happy to comply.
Wanda has to stop herself from laughing at the way you react to the movie. You make the same faces and noises as her two children, laughing especially hard at the scene where Anger attacks Pouchy.
“I’m so full” Billy complains.
“Me too” Tommy says.
“Me three” you join, making them laugh.
“Whose fault is that?” Wanda says, playfully pinching your side and you smile.
“Sorry, love. Next time we’ll just get the popcorn”
Walking around the mall, you decide to take them to the arcade so they can exhaust themselves playing.
“Nothing with guns” Wanda warns in her stern mom voice.
“Come on, you two against me on foosball” you challenge, a hand behind your back to make it seem like it’s the easiest thing in the world to play against them. Still, you tie and on the last ball, you’re about to score when you feel Wanda’s hands on your face, making you turn to kiss her.
Her lips are soft and she looks so gorgeous, you melt against the contact, forgetting the game.
“Not fair” you say when you realise you lost the last point. Wanda laughs against your lips when you kiss her again, while the boys go play air hockey.
Once they’ve spent enough time exhausting themselves, you decide to head back home.
“Teeth and pajamas” Wanda says to the kids as they go up the stairs.
“What about me?” you follow her to the kitchen, cornering her against the counter. “Can I get a little sweet treat before bed?”
“And what would that sweet treat be?”
“You”
Wanda’s eyes darken, remembering how you ate her out right in this spot a few weeks ago.
“But you were a bit naughty, getting all that candy” she teases, turning her face when you lean forward to kiss her. “You’ve had enough sweets for the day, don’t want you getting cavities”
“Just one more, I promise” you plead, hand going behind her to cup her ass through her jeans.
She finally gives in to your advances, initiating a sensual kiss that makes you weak in the knees.
“Mom, I was ready for bed first!” Tommy shouts from upstairs, because they’re always making it a competition.
“Do they happen to go to summer camp? Winter camp? Anything camp?” you joke as she breaks the kiss, laughing.
“Come on” she leads you upstairs, where you usually lean against the doorway as Wanda tucks them in.
There, you see with adoration as Wanda makes sure they’re all set for the night, kissing their foreheads and whispering something in Sokovian. You know by the sounds of the room that sometimes they stay up after that, but they’re just talking to each other while they feel tired enough to sleep.
Once you’re at Wanda’s room, you sit in her bed, because the favorite part of this little routine is watching her while she’s in front of the mirror of her dresser. First, she takes off her jewelry, then the very light makeup she usually has and at the end, Wanda applies some skincare product because she insists there are wrinkles around her eyes that make her feel old. Even if she doesn’t tell you, Wanda enjoys how you take in every little movement she makes, and the look of complete love in your face.
“Think they’ll ever want their own rooms? Or not want to share as much as they do now?”
“Maybe when they’re teenagers. I remember Pietro and I just started to talk to more people and make other friends in high school. But he was still my best friend, at the end of the day. I think he’s the only person that knows everything about me”
“Everything?” you repeat, enjoying how Wanda moves over to your lap as soon as she finishes with her makeup. “Does he know about me?”
“Yeah, I knew the boys would tell him if I didn’t” she laughs and you smile, kissing her neck. “Had to convince him to not book the first flight here, because he wanted to come and give you the shovel talk”
“Bring it”
“Maybe later. I don’t want him to scare you off, baby”
“Nothing can and nothing will” you promise, carrying her so she’s laying in bed. You smile, enjoying how beautiful she looks. “Now, about that sweet treat”
Lazy Sundays are a thing that you recently discovered, and they have become your favorite.
It usually starts with waking up next to Wanda, cuddled up in bed, sharing kisses until you hear the unmistakable noise of small footsteps trying to get some morning cookies.
Then, you wake up, and play with the kids for a little, while Wanda makes breakfast. You always clean up, making sure she doesn’t do anything more than strictly necessary.
This morning is no different, and you’re excited because the plan for today is drive to the Natural History Museum. You can’t wait for the kids to see all the cool fossils.
“Darling, can you go to the car and check if I left my charger there? My phone’s dead”
“Sure, baby” you smile, giving her a playful smack on the butt as you walk to the door.
You’re still yawning, rubbing the sleep off your eyes while you step outside. You hear a motorcycle and perk up, wondering if it’s a certain someone you know. But whoever is driving parks right outside of Wanda’s driveway, and a man with short blonde hair and blue eyes gets off, carrying a duffel bag.
“Oh, sorry. I must have the wrong house” he says as you walk out the door.
“Who are you looking for?”
“Wanda Maximoff”
“No, you’re in the right place. Can I help you?” you say, your heart beating fast. This man is definitely not Pietro, as you’ve seen him in pictures before.
“Steve? Oh, my God!” you hear Wanda shout behind you and she runs past you, right into his arms. You’re taken aback by her excitement over someone whose name you’ve never even heard.
“Uncle Steve!” the kids join, and he stops spinning Wanda in the air (like out of a fucking romcom) and goes to greet the kids. You stan there, feeling uncomfortable until Wanda asks him to step inside and sees you.
“Oh, pardon my manners. Steve, this is Y/N”
Not my girlfriend, but Y/N.
Right.
“Nice to meet you”
“Captain Steve Rogers” he says, making sure you know he is a captain.
Oh, big man with a big title. Asshole.
“Doctor Y/N Y/L/N” you hit back.
“We grew up together. Well, he was a few years older than us, but the Rogers were so nice and welcoming when we first moved to the US” Wanda says, practically giving the man heart eyes. “And now, well, he’s in the army so we don’t see each other as much”
“Had a couple of days off, thought I’d stop by. I’m sorry, I didn’t know you had company” he eyes you curiously and then to Wanda. “I’ll find a place to stay”
“None of that, you’re staying with us. Y/N lives across the street”
“Yeah, I do” you nod. “We were just going to the museum today”
“On such a nice day? We could go and play some baseball” he says, and you have to resist the urge to punch him in his very defined jaw.
But the twins agree and Wanda is quick to follow suit, so you just smile politely.
“Come on, I want to hear everything” Wanda pulls him inside, her arm around his.
You look back to your place and sigh.
“Whatever” you mutter, going back to your own house.
Wanda doesn’t even notice until they are getting ready to leave for their baseball game.
“Aren’t you coming?” she asks as soon as you open the door.
“No, I’m more of an indoors type of person. Have fun, catch up with your friend”
“You’re still having dinner with us, right?”
“Sure” you say, knowing full well you’ll run to the hospital under the excuse of an emergency at the last minute.
“Everything ok? I didn’t mean to… ignore you back there. I was just so surprised about Steve”
“It’s fine” you lie.
“Ok. I love you” she stands on her toes to kiss you and you smile, appreciating how the words sooth your heart in spite of everything.
You’re restless, so you run to the gym and spend a good hour just listening to music and working out. By the time you’re back, completely exhausted, there’s another god damn bike on your driveway.
“Where the hell have you been?” Carol says as soon as you step on to your house.
“Wow, what’s gotten into you?”
“I have a lesbian emergency. And you’re the only other lesbian I trust enough!” she hisses, looking like a mad woman.
“Ok, chill, will ya? Let me take a shower and we’ll talk about it”
“Maria wants kids” Carol blurts out, following you upstairs.
“Ok, so?”
“So! It’s too soon”
“You’ve been dating since med school. By gay standards that’s like a good ten years of marriage, Carol” you’re about to step into the room to shower when you turn around. “Can I help you?”
“I’ve been to your room!”
“When we were fuck buddies. Now you’re engaged and I have a girlfriend, so wait downstairs for me” you say, because there’s no way in hell you’re letting her in just like that. You know Wanda would be upset about it.
“You’re mean”
“And you are a baby, Danvers” you stick your tongue out, closing the door to shower.
When you go downstairs, there’s Chinese food waiting and a couple of beers.
“I’m stress eating” she explains. You nod, taking out the food to the porch where you can enjoy the cool breeze. “Whose bike is that?”
“A friend of Wanda’s”
“Do I detect a hint of jealousy?”
“So, Maria wants to have kids?” you retort, making her groan. “Come on, this can’t be a surprise to you. Unless she recently changed her mind”
“It’s not about having them, it’s about when” she says, playing with her food. “We agreed we’d get married, travel for a bit. Have a life outside of work and then think about kids. But she left, and we broke it off for a while”
“So, you’re worried it’s too soon because of the time apart”
“I’m angry” Carol says and it seems like it takes an enormous amount of effort to even admit it. “I stayed, I didn’t change our plans together. And now, she came back and wants to change things again. It doesn’t seem fair that Maria is calling all the shots”
“Did you tell her that?” you take a sip of your beer, enjoying the taste. You’ve only had wine for the last couple of weeks.
“I just said I’d think about it” Carol admits. “And then I ran here”
“I see” you nod, taking a breath before asking something you’ve thought in the past. “Are you afraid you’ll be a bad parent?”
“Yes” Carol answers immediately.
You’ve seen so many surgeons struggle to keep up with their personal life while doing their job. Hell, even Stark and Pepper had their rough patch when Morgan was a baby.
“I think you’d be a great mom, Carol” you admit, knowing how good she is with kids. “Maybe you can compromise on the timeline. Like at least have a wedding even if it’s small and a honeymoon. Because once a baby comes, it’s gonna be your job 24/7”
“Speaking from experience with two kids?” she wiggles her eyebrows and you chuckle. “Wanna tell me about the friend?”
“He showed up unannounced and Wanda acted like this… teenager with a crush. Oh, and get this, I wasn’t introduced as her girlfriend, she only used my name”
“That’s kinda annoying. Very I’m still in the closet vibes”
“Her brother knows about us, though” you say. Unless that was a lie.
“Well, you should tell her it’s bothering you. I’ve seen you make so many changes to your life for her, Y/N. You take time off and help her, and that speaks volumes about you”
“Maybe I moved foo fast” you think, sipping your beer.
“You are a lesbian” she points out and you both laugh.
For the next hour, you keep talking about work and other stuff, until you see Wanda’s car approaching. You’re hit with a pang of jealousy when you see Steve driving, and opening the car door for Wanda.
“Dude is buff” Carol comments, and she whistles. “Yeap, I see what you mean”
Wanda barely looks at your place, and she only pays attention when she catches up to Carol sitting next to you.
“That’s my cue to go. Good luck” Carol says, taking her jacket.
“Drive safely” you say. “Or maybe take a cab?”
“I only had half a beer. See ya, princess” Carol says loud enough for Wanda to hear. Your girlfriend glares at her retreating figure and then looks at you.
“Is that why you didn’t want to come with us?”
“I didn’t even know Carol was going to come, Wanda. She needed some relationship advice” you say, standing up to pick up the trash. “And I’m not the one who cancelled our plans to hang with a total stranger. You know I only get one Sunday off every three weeks and I worked extra hours to be with you for the weekend”
“Steve isn’t a stranger”
It annoys you that she ignores your comment about the time off you work hard to get. To spend time together, no less.
“He is to me”
“You’re right. Just come over and meet him? I promise you once you do everything will be fine”
“Sure” you say. That’s the last thing you want to do, but you feel the tension between you and Wanda, and if you say no to dinner or skip at the last minute how you had originally planned, you’ll get into a fight.
You can get through one dinner, right?
As soon as you walk in to Wanda’s home, you wish you had just faked a work emergency.
Steve is playing with Billy and Tommy, clearly not understanding how the control of the console works.
“Dragons are kinda lame” he jokes. Or not, who knows.
“Spyro isn’t lame” Billy says and you smile proudly. That’s your boy.
“Hey” the man greets you as you walk to the kitchen to find Wanda. “Your friend has a nice bike. Too bad she drinks and drives”
You give him a dirty look from across the room, figuring it’s better to ignore him.
“Do you drink and drive too?” he asks, and now you’re certain you will kick his ass.
“Oh, so glad you’re here” Wanda walks in, carrying a couple of plates. “Mind helping me with the salad?”
“Sure” you say, eager to get away from Captain Morality.
Unfortunately, he seems to be in a chatty mood during dinner and you have to resist the urge to ignore him every time he asks a question.
“What about your family?” he asks at one point and you think you might break the Hippocratic Oath and stick your fork in his hand.
“What about them?” you dodge the question, taking a bite of your chicken.
“Yeah, what do your parents do? Any siblings?”
“My mom’s a teacher, my dad’s dead” you say without any more context.
“Sorry” the man says.
“Maybe we can talk about something else” Wanda says, and it’s the first time in all night that she’s had some consideration towards you. She asks him about another friend of theirs and you’re allowed to eat peacefully, happy that Captain Ass is leaving you alone.
“You ok?” Tommy says next to you and you smile, nodding. “I really wanted to go to the museum”
“Me too, buddy. Some other time”
When everyone’s done you do the usual cleaning, starting with washing the dishes.
Wanda joins you in the kitchen a while later, saving leftovers and putting away some of the spices she used.
“Everything ok?” she asks.
“Fine”
“Are you staying over?”
“I have to go to the hospital” you lie. You’re gonna be restless and can’t stand the idea of just laying in bed thinking about everything that’s happened today. You need the rush of work to clear your head.
“Well, I’m glad you got to know Steve a little better. He’ll only stay for a couple of days before going to visit his parents. Joseph and Sarah are so great”
“Mhm” you give a noncomittal groan and she keeps going.
“It was always so nice for us to spend time with them. And my parents, they just love Steve! My mom always told me we would be great together, but then I met someone else and you know, the twins came along”
“Wow, that’s great”
“Yeah, I always wondered. Maybe we would have been a good couple” she keeps going, completely oblivious to how annoyed you are.
“Lucky you, he’s here now and seems like he’s ready to pick up were you left off”
“What?” 
“I don’t know, Wanda. You’re out here talking about him like he’s God’s greatest gift to this Earth, how you wonder if your life would be better with him. Go be with him if that’s what you want. I won’t be the one to stop you” you finally break, finishing the dishes and drying your hands.
“Do you hear yourself? You’re being incredibly immature” Wanda hisses, looking at the kitchen door, concerned that her friend or her children will listen.
“I’m being honest. How do you think it makes me feel to listen to this?”
“Oh, please. I’m not the one who is all cozy with her ex” she retorts.
“Carol and I work together and you knew about us before you and I started dating”
“What do you want me to do? Kick my friend out because you’re insecure?”
“No. I want you to…”
I want you to want me.
The words come back to you from a place you thought was buried, and it hits you like a ton of bricks.
A hand covers your mouth, trying to keep the words in, as if you’re not crumbling down. Taking a breath, you try to steady yourself.
“I have to go” you say, eager to put some distance between you two.
“Wait” Wanda says, her demeanor completely different. She’s never seen you this vulnerable or shaken.
“I’m going to the hospital” you avoid her eyes, leaving in a rush.
All you can do is run.
Thank God for work. There’s so much to do, you spend all night running around and by the time you sit, it’s 5 AM.
“My feet are killing me” Carol says; she also came to the hospital to run away from her problems.
“Come on, cheer up” you say, giving her chocolate and a granola bar.
You sit next to her, both of you staring at the wall, caught up in your own thoughts. When Darcy stops by, she tilts her head, eyeing you curiously.
“Girl trouble?”
You both nod and she sighs, sitting between the two.
“Me too”
“You and who?” Carol says.
“Me. I’m the problem with myself” Darcy says and in spite of yourself, you laugh. “Come on, the doctor’s in. Who wants to go first?”
“Wanda has a surprise guest that looks like a model, and it happens to be a dude she grew up with and her parents loved and wanted them to marry”
“Wow. That’s awful. Is he staying with her now? Are you worried they’re gonna bone?”
“I am now” you frown.
“Ok, good talk!” Darcy says, grimacing. “Carol, wanna go next?”
“No, thanks” she says, afraid Darcy will put new worries in her head like she did with you.
It’s really fucking funny, isn’t it? The dude shows up out of nowhere, is passive agressive when Wanda isn’t looking, you fight and maybe now she’s sad and running into his arms.
Perfect.
Your pager releases you from the new horrors and you spring to action, hoping work takes your mind off of everything else.
There are a few accidents on the road due to the heavy rain, so you focus on that and even scrub in with Carol in what Darcy dubs the Gay Denial Club.
“Go to sleep” Fury says when he catches you drifting off while standing up a few hours later.
“I’m fine” you lie.
“Take a walk, sleep. If you don’t want to go back home now it’s fine. But don’t stay here, you’ve been at the hospital for too long”
“Ok” you rub your eyes, feeling hungry and knowing cafeteria food won’t do the trick for now.
The pier is the one place where you can feel at peace right now, so you pick up some food and eat on a bench, looking out the water. When it gets cold, you do something that only happens once a year.
Smoking is so damn bad, but so good when you’re feeling completely done with the world. Right now you’re wondering why you quit.
Someone walks up to you, and you recognise the parfum instantly.
“That’s bad for you” Wanda says and you let out a dry laugh.
“So I’ve heard. What are you doing here?”
“You weren’t at the hospital and I just had a feeling I’d find you here” she says, sitting.
“Good call” you say, pushing out the smoke away from her.
“I’m sorry”
“What for?”
“The way I acted. And that thing I said… I didn’t mean it like that. When I said I sometimes wondered what my life would be like, I didn’t mean it as if I wanted it to be different… because then I wouldn’t have Billy and Tommy and that’s just simply unconceivable for me”
“I know” you nod, but keep staring at the pier.
“Are you gonna say anything else?”
You shrug your shoulders, debating if it’s worth it to open up about what’s bothering you.
“My mom didn’t want me” you finally say, putting out the cigarrette and coughing. You feel the need to light up another one immediately. “I heard her once or twice, saying it would have been easier if it was only her and her new family.”
“That’s awful. I never meant to make you feel that way” she says, trying to reach for your hand, but you move it away.
“I know. In my head, logically, I get what you meant. But all I feel is like a second choice. And I really, really, don’t want to feel that, you know? I spent my whole life running from that, and I can’t deal with it. I just don’t know how”
“Is there anything I can do?” she asks, sighing. The sound of your pager goes off, and you smile.
“You should go home. And I have work”
“I love you” Wanda says, holding your hand as you walk past her. You nod, looking at her for the first time. She’s so beautiful and perfect and you love her so much, but you know you need to step back and work through the pain this whole thing revived in you.
“I know” you nod, walking away, your pager going off a few more times.
You understand the urgency as you arrive to the hospital.
“There’s a sinkhole in the middle of the city. You and Danvers are going to the site”
“Jesus, alright. Darcy, you’ll handle the ER while I’m gone, Bishop and Parker, come with me” you get ready, packing up the essentials and putting on a windbreaker, as it looks like it will rain all night long.
“Be careful” Chief Fury says as you all get on an ambulance.
“See you on the other side, Chief” you wink at him, closing the door as you enter last.
The rain drops hit the windshield, providing a soothing white noise that helps Wanda calm her thougths. She takes her time driving back home, not just because of the storm, but because she wants peace and quiet to think about everything you just told her.
She had hoped that she could fix things and you’d come home with her, but apparently it was a lot more complicated for you.
“Everything ok?” Steve says as soon as she walks in.
“Not really” Wanda admits, locking the door and dragging her feet to the kitchen. “For the first time in ten years I meet someone who wants me, and is nice and amazing and  also loves my two kids… and I managed to make her feel like a second hand toy”
“Is that what she said?”
“No. It isn’t. But I screwed up so bad, Steve” Wanda says, pouring a glass of wine, beating herself up over and over again for what happened.
“It’s not your fault” Steve admits at last, because he knows Wanda can be too hard on herself.
“Yes, it is” Wanda argues, not catching what he’s trying to say.
“I need to tell you something” Steve shifts in his place. “Pietro asked me to check up on you. He said you wouldn’t let him come and that Y/N sounded too good to be true. So I offered to stop by and see for myself… I may have been a bit rude to her when we spoke”
“Are you being serious right now?” Wanda has to bite her tongue, because her children are asleep and she doesn’t want to wake them up. “What gave you the right?”
“Wanda, he worries about you”
“I am a grown woman, with two children, a successful career, a house that I own. I’m more of an adult than Pietro or you”
“We didn’t mean any harm” Steve insists but she raises her hand.
“You should go. Stay over tonight if you have to, but I want you gone tomorrow morning, Steve” she requests, her tone firm. The man nods, leaving the kitchen.
Wanda sighs and downs the last of her glass of wine, hoping she can call you and apologize. If she had known before that Steve was deliberately rude to you…
“Hello?” Darcy picks up. She insists when Wanda doesn’t speak. “Wanda? I see your name in the caller ID”
“Hi, Darcy. Sorry, I was hoping I could speak to Y/N but if she’s busy…”
“We’re all busy” Darcy says, updating the patient list. “Y/N is not here, she was called on site to deal with the sinkhole”
“There’s a sinkhole?”
“Yeah, it’s all over the news. Listen, I picked up the phone just to make sure you didn’t have an emergency, because she’d freak out if something happened to you. But if you’re fine I gotta get back to managing the ER while she’s gone”
“No, I wanted to talk… I’m fine. Just please tell her to call me?”
“Will try. Bye” Darcy says, hanging up as two more ambulances stop at the entrance of the ER.
Wanda walks over to the tv, watching as the local newstation reports on the activity.
“Doctors from Shield Medical Center and Stark Hospital have arrived at the scene to help with trauma patients. We encourage people to stay home as the heavy rain will continue throughout Westview” the anchor woman says. There’s footage of medical personnel walking by the scene but Wanda can’t spot you.
She stays in the living room, hoping to see you, just to make sure you’re ok. Pretty soon, she falls asleep on the couch, but the noise of the tv stays in the background, making her dream of you, and the sadness in your eyes the last time she saw you.
“I have to go with this patient” Carol says, while the EMTs get the man on the ambulance. “I’ll try to come back as soon as we stabilize him”
“Be careful” you nod, turning to Kate and Peter next. “What else we got? Parker?”
“I have a head trauma and we’re waiting for an ambulance. Doctor Stark was out of town but flying in right now. I have to prep the patient so he’s ready by the time Stark lands”
“How did he find a flight with this weather?” Kate asks and you chuckle.
“Bishop, he owns a helicopter”
“Oh, right”
“Alright, Peter, you’re taking the next ambulance. Kate?”
“I’m staying” she says and you nod. It’s been four hours since you got here and you’re all soaked. At least most of the people have been evacuated.
“We got two people down here!” someone shouts and you turn in that direction.
“How can we help?” you greet Clint Barton, and he nods your way, greeting you.
“Hey, doc. It’s a small girl and her mom, the woman is trapped under the car”
“Fuck” Kate says, and you hit her arm.
“Language”
“No, fuck is right. The woman needs to have her leg amputated if we want to get her out but it’s too risky to go down there”
“I’ll go” you say.
“It’s seriously risky” Barton insists but you shrug your shoulders and he nods. “Alright everybody, we’re getting the doc down”
“Is this a good idea?” Kate asks when you request the medical equipment.
“It will be fine, trust me. Be prepared to stabilize her as soon as they’re up. And inform Maria about the little girl, she’ll need a consult”
“Right away”
“Hold on to the rope and make sure you don’t move a lot as we set you down, ok? The rain stopped for a little bit so this is our window. If water keeps falling you could go down in a mudslide”
“Ok” you say, trying to ignore your erratic heartbeat. This is not the time to get cold feet. “I’m ready”
You use your flashlight to look around, and then the beam lands on a pair of small eyes that look up at you.
“All set. I’m sending the kid over” you speak through a radio. Barton confirms and then you turn to the girl. “Hey, I’m Y/N. What’s your name? It’s ok”
“I’m Alice” the girl says, staying close to her unconscious mother.
“Alice, hi. Look, I’ll get you out of here, and then I’m staying to help your mom, ok? I’ll be up with her in no time”
“I don’t want to leave her” the girl protests as you get her ready to go up.
“Alice, I need to take care of your mommy and it can be scary. I won’t leave her side, I promise” you say, because there’s no way in hell you’ll let her watch as you cut off her mother’s leg.
“Promise?”
“Pinky swear” you say, and she smiles, nodding. You talk to the radio “The kid’s ready. Bishop, check for injuries once she’s up there”
You get to work, noticing the woman is still unconscious but it’s probably for the best. As you set the equipment for the amputation, a light rain begins again.
“Status report?” Barton says when it seems like the rain is getting stronger.
“60% done”
“You don’t have a lot of time left”
“Great, super helpful comment, Barton” you mutter, struggling with the bone. God, this is the part that always made you dizzy in your resident years. It doesn’t help that you’re doing it in the middle of the ground that could collapse under you any minute.
You pull through the nausea that hits you, letting Barton know that you’re done. His team lowers a gurney and you prepare it for transportation, struggling as you have to drag the woman across the floor.
“All good” you say, watching as she’s lifted.
“We’ll come back for you, stay put”
You light up the area, just to make sure you’re not leaving any equipment behind. Something caughts your eye beyond the truck.
“We’re pulling you up now” Barton says over the radio.
“Hold” you say, quickly approaching the edge of the hole. “There’s someone else here! The car was covering him”
“It’s raining heavily, we can’t have you stay longer” Barton says, the water causing the dirt around you to losen up. You feel the soil beneath you getting softer as well, as if it was about to give in. “Just take the rope, you don’t even know if they’re alive”
“He has a pulse, just hold”
“Grab the rope, damn it” Barton barks over the radio. His words are met with silence, and then a second later, there’s a loud crash. He looks over and sees the car sliding further down, the dirt finally giving in at the weight and water.
You’re nowhere to be found.
The sound of thunder wakes Wanda up. She looks around the room, confused.
The TV is still on, and she rubs her eyes, not paying much attention to what is being reported.
That is, until the person on the screen says your name.
“We have reports that as Doctor Y/L Y/L/N was conducting a search and rescue operation, there were some complications. The other person is an unidentified male, and all we know is they were both taken back to Stark Hospital in critical condition”
“No, no, no” she stands up, taking her car keys.
“Where are you going?” Steve says. He has been unable to sleep, feeling guilty over everything that happened.
“I need to go to the hospital, Y/N could be injured”
“It’s dangerous to drive with the storm, Wanda”
“Stay with the kids, ok?” she ignores him.
“Ok. Be careful” he finally agrees, knowing nothing will make her change her mind.
The ten minute drive is probably the longest one of her life. She tries to stay calm, finding the local news on the radio, but there’s no mention of you.
Stark Hospital is full of people waiting for news on their loved ones. Wanda knows the way to the staff door, so she moves quietly and enters, looking back and hoping no one caught her. Everyone’s too busy to question why someone outside the hospital is there.
“Wanda?” Darcy calls as she exits an examination room, confused. The woman turns around, ready to explain why she’s there.
“Why are you calling for Wanda? See, you’re the one with a concussion, Lewis” you mumble.
Wanda sighs with relief when she hears your voice, walking past Darcy to get inside the room. She sees you, scrubs full of mud and a couple of cuts in your face and arms.
“You’re ok” she says, forgetting the conflict between you two, and hugging you. “I’m so relieved. I thought I lost you. I heard on the news…”
“They exaggerate for views”
“She almost died” Darcy accuses with a glare.
“Did not”
“Ok, fine. I’m telling your girlfriend because you’re a knucklehead”
Wanda breaks the hug, laughing and wiping away the tears that fell down the moment you were in her arms. You keep your hand on her waist, sad that you scared her.
“Y/N here has a concussion and a dislocated shoulder. Lucky for her, she managed to take the rope while carrying the man she found in that hole”
“Wouldn’t you call that heroic?”
“I’d call it idiotic. Please take her and don’t let her come for the next week” Darcy pleads to Wanda. “And you, sleep, rest, don’t move that arm and more importantly, come back with lots of cookies”
“Yeah, yeah”
“And no sex!”
Darcy glares at you two one last time, before leaving the room.
There’s a beat of silence and then you turn to Wanda, smiling shyly.
“Could I get a ride home? I can’t drive with this thing” you point at your armsling and she nods.
“Of course, come on” she says, her hands on your cheeks. She knows you need to rest and she’ll happily drive you home, but Wanda still needs a minute to ground herself, your touch enough to remind her you’re ok.
“I’m here” you say, your hand going up and down her back.
Wanda nods, holding back tears.
“I know”
After a few more seconds, she stands back, waiting for you to leave your spot in the hospital bed. You walk slowly, afraid you’ll get dizzy if you move too fast. Wanda is leading the way, holding your hand to steady you.
“Wanda? Is everything ok? Why are you here?” Barton says and you look confused at both of them. Not another almost husband, for the love of God.
“Clint, hi. I’m just taking my girlfriend home” she gestures to you. “Y/N, this is…”
“We’ve met” you say.
“She’s crazy” Clint points to you and Wanda is about to lash out at him when the man smiles. “You saved a man’s life, but try not to do that again”
“Agree” you say, smiling as he pats your good shoulder.
“Drive safely”
“How do you know Barton?” you ask when you’re finally in the car, relaxing against the comfortable seat.
“He’s Laura’s husband” Wanda says, backing out of the parking lot.
“Laura, as in, your editor? Wow, it’s a small world” you mutter, closing your eyes for just a second. Wanda’s voice brings you back to reality.
“We’re here”
“Here where?”
“Home, baby”
You open your eyes, startled.
“Oh. I thought I only closed my eyes for half a second. Thanks for the ride. Gotta shower and take a dozen painkillers”
“Will you let me… will you let me help you?” Wanda asks, reaching for your hand and you nod.
Instead of walking to her place, she leads you across the street, opening the door with the key you gave her weeks ago.
“Did you clean?” you say, looking around. You definitely didn’t leave everything so tidy.
“You know it’s the only thing that calms me when I’m anxious”
“You’re so cute and weird” you chuckle, swaying lightly. Wanda catches you in the air, making you lean on her side.
“You ok? Maybe you should have stayed at the hospital”
“Just tired” you say against her temple, enjoying the warmth of her body after spending all night in the pouring rain.
“Come on, then” she says, going upstairs with you.
It takes Wanda by surprise to notice she’d never actually been in your room before. You’re always at her place, mainly because of the twins.
As she looks at the few pictures scattered across the room, of friends and colleagues (and the lack of family portraits), Wanda realises how much you’ve done to acommodate to her life and needs, while asking very little in return.
“Bathroom’s that way” you yawn, sitting in the bed while Wanda searches for clean clothes.
“Give me a second, baby” she says and you nod, removing the armsling. “Does it hurt a lot?”
“No, but it’s probably because Darcy gave me the good stuff. I might be out for a good couple of hours after cleaning up”
“Noted” she smiles, helping you up. With gentle movements, Wanda pulls down your pants and underwear, while you hold on to her shoulders to keep your balance.
“I can’t lift my shirt” you admit with a blush.
“I got you, baby”
It’s a little difficult to remove the clothes with the limited motion, but you manage, letting out a giggle as Wanda finally throws the scrubs away, leading you to the shower.
“I think they’re too dirty to use them again”
“We’ll worry about that later. How do you like the water?”
“Right now, hot. I spent all night in the freezing rain”
“Ok” Wanda reaches forward to get a feel of the temperature, nodding when it’s ready. However, you stay in your spot, staring. “What is it?”
“Aren’t you getting in?”
“I have nothing to wear for after”
“That’s the opposite of a problem, as far as I’m concerned” you smile, pulling her hand.
Wanda enjoys this, knowing that you still want her. That in spite of your fight, there’s still that look of complete adoration in your eyes when you tease her or admire her figure.
“Alright” she says, stripping down until she’s naked in front of you. “Behave”
“But I just saved a man’s life”
“And got yourself hurt. We don’t wanna come back to the hospital with more injuries and explain to Darcy how that happened”
“Mmm, that would be funny, actually” you mumble, sighing against Wanda’s front when she stands behind you, her hands massaging your scalp. You feel the dirt slide off your skin, and the hot water relaxes your muscles.
There’s a struggle to stay awake when she’s being so soothing with her touch, but you manage by leaning against the bathroom wall, the water washing away the soap as you’re finally clean and warm.
With the upmost care, Wanda dries you off and brushes your hair, and you yawn as she helps you put on clean clothes. She’s wearing your college sweatshirt, looking adorable with the sleeves too long.
“It’s almost day” you say, looking out the window. Wanda nods, but helps you lay in bed.
“Just get some rest, ok?”
“Will you stay with me?” you ask, settling in bed and smiling up at her.
“Of course” she says, running her hands through your hair.
“For one second, I thought I wouldn’t make it” you confess, trying to stay awake to tell her how you feel. “And all I could think about was how I wished I had kissed you when you came looking for me”
“I’m glad you’re ok. And I’m not going anywhere” she promises, leaning forward to kiss you.
You fall asleep with a smile on your face.
The space next to you is empty, and as you regain consciousness, you wonder if it was all a dream. Pain hits every inch of your body when you wake up, to remind you that it was all very much real.
“Wanda?” you say, looking around. She’s nowhere to be found.
You go down the stairs, adjusting the armsling and searching for the other woman. It must be past noon, so maybe she’s home with the twins.
Since you don’t even remember where your phone is, you go across the street, knocking on the Maximoff’s door.
“It’s Y/N!” Billy says excitedly, running to hug you. He’s a little rough with his movements, making you groan. “I’m so happy you’re back, don’t go again. Uncle Steve is so boring”
That’s the best thing the kid has ever said to you, and then Tommy joins in the hug.
“Yeah, he never lets us play videogames and we eat green stuff that tastes like crap. And he says language if we say dude!!”
“Dude, that sucks” you say, enjoying every second of this. They both laugh, hugging you and you pat their heads with your one good arm.
“Boys, give Y/N some space, she’s recovering” Wanda says, smiling as you look at her. “I’m sorry, I had to come back to get lunch ready, I’m sure you’re hungry”
“One thing before that” you smile, pulling her into a kiss. Wanda smiles against your lips, laughing as the kids call you gross and leave in a rush.
Just as you’re sitting in the kitchen counter, Rogers goes down the stairs, carrying his bag.
“Thanks for letting me stay” he says, and Wanda nods, her arm around your shoulders, “Y/N, glad to see you’re ok. I’m sorry if I was a little rude at first. You seem like a great gal”
“Thanks, Cap” you smile. He shakes your hand and goes to say goodbye to the kids, Wanda pressing a kiss against your temple.
“We’re gonna miss you so much” Billy says a bit dramatically, obviously lying. You give him a thumbs up.
As soon as the man’s out the door, the kids run back to the living room, pulling out their videogames.
“Steve’s a little boring” Wanda says against your temple and you smile. “You’re so good with them and we love you so much. Never forget that”
“I love you too” you say, turning to kiss her.
Staying home for the rest of the week is not so bad, especially when you have your family by your side.
582 notes · View notes
artinvain · 6 months ago
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Toxic bff Abby that denies she is in love with you but is extremely possessive over you and basically treats you like her gf, but still fucks other girls imagining you; getting jealous seeing ANYONE else come near you. NEED IT PLS
toxic!bff!abby x reader
Abby’s so insecure and she lets it rule everything she does. she can't seem to get it right -- more plot and angst than i intended. lesbian smut under the cut - men and minors dni
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it happens every time. abby gets drunk when you have a fight and does something stupid to forget about you. she could see you dancing up against her from the rival basketball team. and although abby would usually rip you from their arms and dance with you herself — feel your ass grind up against her crotch, let you control where her hands went as you dance — she can’t do that tonight.
abby had seen you at the bar for the pre-party, the girl you’re with buying you drinks, resting her hand on your thigh, inching ever so close to your face and leaning in for a kiss, and abby seethed with every brush of your lips. finally seeing red when you get down from your bar stool to stand between her legs.
abby could see the girl you were with now and it coloured her vision crimson. ellie fucking williams. of all people you could flirt with. abby had to think you were being vindictive — trying to get back at her for when she ditched you to get with tammy instead of take you to an art gallery like she’d promised for weeks.
It wasn’t completely her fault although abby could come up with a million excuses to absolve herself but the prevailing one would always be that she was a fucking coward. it felt too much like a date. a real date that she wants to take you on — not as her friend. but abby couldn't stand the thought of you rejecting her.
she could see it so vividly in her head -- you turning away from her, your face contorted in distaste "but abby, we're just friends." you would say "i could never see you like that." and abby would understand. because you were too good for her -- too smart, funny, kind, you gave her too many chances because your heart is so big. abby didn't deserve someone who could colour the world and scrub out the black and white monotony of every day life.
abby didn't realise she was gripping your arm so tight it could be bruising, she'd been glowering down at ellie, seething and her mouth practically foamed with her hard ragged breaths. "the fuck is wrong with you anderson?" ellie snarls, abby twists her mouth and "you, are all over my best friend,"
"and you're best friend -- who is right here -- is fine with it," you snatch your arm from abby's grip. you couldn't even fight her at this point. she was colder to you recently, she sold you excuses for her distance, came to your apartment still dewy and smelling like someone else. she'd been rubbing it in your face that she wanted nothing to do with you. you ignored that she didn't reply when you'd casually told her you loved her after she dropped you off at home last week. but you couldn't keep walking into apartment as other women walked out past you, a drunken smile plastered on their faces. she did this every few weeks and you were sick of it, but this time was worse than usual.
"go hang out with tammy or whoever," you back into ellie rubbing your arm and abby swallowed, her eyes catching yours -- hollow as they'd never been when looking at her. but just last week you had told her you loved her. could that change so quickly? had she gone too far? abby's fists clenched, bouncing on her weak knees.
"I- we need to talk," abby says without thinking and she immediately wanted to punch herself.
'talk about what?' abby thought to herself, she could never tell you that she loved you back, that more than that she worshipped you. she could neve tell you that every time she looked at you -- she fought not to let her face heat up. abby couldn't tell you that her chest puffed up with pride that she could call you -- something so precious hers. her best friend. you are the only person she ever wanted to be around really.
"I'm leaving," you say with a deep breath as ellie puts a few paper bills on the bar counter, one in the tip jar and slides her hand onto the small of your back. "get yourself together. i'll see you later maybe."
now abby had to watch you dance with ellie, smiling with your arms draped over should shoulders while ellie whispered in your ear. she downed her shot and then decided not to beat ellie up because she didn't want to be benched the entire season. so, instead she put her jacket on and approached you with her head hanging low.
your movements halt as abby stands near the both of you, "can we talk?" abby asks, her watery blue eyes slowly rising to meet yours. you sigh and turn to kiss ellie's cheek goodnight before leading abby out of the house and down the street.
"I'm really sorry," abby says as you walk slow into the crisp autumn evening.
"for what abby?"
"everything," she shrugs and tries a chuckle but coughs awkwardly when you glare at her. "so, you don't have anyone to take home tonight?" you question and abby sighs, running her hands over her face. "come on, don't be like that," abby says and stops in front of her truck opening the passenger door for you.
"I'm not getting in unless you tell me what you're sorry for."
abby groans, clenching her jaw and resting her hands against her bumper, leaning on it and ducking her head.
"I'm sorry I've been such a sloppy asshole this week. I'm sorry i tried to make you jealous and I'm sorry that I didn't reply when you said it. because I should have."
you know what abby is talking about but god, she can't even say it. it fucking wrecks you because she doesn't value you enough to even tell you what you mean to her, if you mean anything at all. you start to walk past her, "hey wait, oh my god -- I love you!"
abby yells, her mouth parts but no other words come to her. she swallows thickly when you turn around, the tears on your face matching hers.
"I'm sorry I'm a fucking idiot and I didn't tell you sooner but i don't love you like a friend. I am in love with you, okay? and - and I'm a shitty person and I don't wanna mess us up,"
abby can't stand your silence but when she looks up, there you are. standing so close to her she can feel your warm breath on her cheeks.
"do you promise to at least give us a chance?"
abby, cups the back of your neck and presses a soft kiss to your mouth as her answer, pulls your body flush to her so she can lean over you and lick into your mouth. moan as you suck on her tongue.
"m'sorry, so sorry sweetheart," abby whispers in between kisses as she feels your tears on her cheeks, "let me make it up to you."
abby drives you not far down the road to her place, her hand on your all the time, pressing kisses to your knuckles until she shuts the door behind you and kisses you again, this time her hands going down to your ass, gripping and squeezing, her mouth beginning to pepper kisses up and down your neck.
you whine when abby backs you into the hallway of her loft, behind the kitchen wall ands falls on top of you on her bed. "i swear to god, everything will be different," abby moans, as you grip her hand and bring it to your breast, where she takes the liberty to start pressing kisses to your chest, removing your clothes feverishly. you whine as she pulls away from you, catching her breath.
"do you not?" you ask shakily and abby cups your cheek.
"i do, i do. i just wanted it to be different. I didn't want to be fighting with you." abby whimpers when you grip her and pull her close so she's laying on top of you. "then, show me it'll be different."
abby takes her time lathering you chest when she removes your bra, kissing your tits and moaning as she sucks your nipples into her mouth, her hips starting to falter against you thigh. no matter how many women she'd been with. she never could get off. she didn't feel much of anything unless she thought of you, played your three words over and over again in her mind. but now, now she had the real thing and she's too desperate stop herself.
she flicks her fingers over your wet nipples, "so fucking pretty," she whines against you, massaging your tits and sucking marks between your chest as she pulls them close to her chest, moaning and grinding down on your hips going again to suck and swap nipples to wet and play with while your hips started to buck against hers.
"shit fuck, m'gonna cum, fuck i'm so sorry," she's utterly embarrassed, hides her face in your neck and she whines loudly, her fingers still playing with your nipples as she cums. you gasp and chuckle, unbelievably wetter at watching her cum just from sucking on your tits.
"i'm so fucking sorry-" "for what? for feeling good?" you mumble and press a kiss to her mouth, guiding her hand between the two of you so she can feel how wet she's making you, "always been a mess f'me," she groans, her fingers starting to circle your clit, hearing you moan she ducks her head into your neck again to kiss and mark you.
"i love you," abby moans as her fingers dig into your panties and start to slide into you, your gummy, wet walls inviting her in. "christ, you're so wet," she moans and she kisses down your torso and removes your shorts and panties, her mouth latching to your clit and she starts moaning, licking and twist her head so she's making circles on your clit while her fingers curl and fuck into you.
"fuck, abby! yes, yes please more," you yelp, your legs falling open and abby pulls them over her shoulders licking the wetness around her fingers in your cunt and groaning as she does so at your taste, another finger twisting into your sweet pussy she can't help but grin against you, licking and lapping at your clit, as you cum, her thumb coming to circle it instead.
"you look so pretty all fucked out f'me," she moans, pressing a hand down on your belly and fucking her fingers deeper, moaning at the way your mouth falls open, and your legs start to shake, "i love you, i fucking love you baby," she whines and you're spurting against her hand, licking up over your clit and sucking it, your taste filling her mouth.
"swear i'm gonna be better, i promise," abby says as she gently caresses you, cupping your cheek and rubbing her hands over your body. abby silently presses a sticky kiss to your temple and disappears as you catch your breath.
"haven't used it with anyone else," abby assures you when you look at her strap on quizzical and yet biting your lip as she clambers over you. "you're everything to me, i'm so sorry for everything," abby says as she lines herself up with you, her strap already covered in lube. you nod when abby hovers over you and she sighs when she finally sinks into you, your eyes crossing at the way it curls perfectly into your gspot, the ridged cock stimulating every part of your pussy.
"was saving this for you- fuck," she whimpers as the strap starts to vibrate against her and you whine loudly as it tremors inside you. "wanted to feel this good with you and you only" she moans gasping into your mouth as you press her close when abby starts to fucking into you.
you're both so overstimulated it doesn't take much of her deep, wet thrusts until you're crying against her shoulder, biting into it as you both cum again. you push abby out at the pain of the overstimulation and she rips the strap off of her in the same manner, turning it off.
after abby rocks you both to sleep, she's woken by her phone ringing, at reading the caller ID she moves into her bathroom, pressing a kiss to your shoulder and whispering into the phone.
"i fucking told you not to call," abby whispers, turning over to look at your sleeping form under her sheets.
"no, tammy -- enough. I'm done fucking around," she groans and near hangs up until tammy whispers something over the line, something you can't quite make out, all you can hear is.
"jesus christ, okay, I'll be over soon."
"where are you going?" you ask as abby gets dressed, "tammy-" "are you fucking serious?" you chuckle in disbelief pulling your clothes on in a hurry.
"no, you don't understand -- wait!" abby calls as you pick your jacket up from off the floor and shuffle your shoes on.
"I'm done waiting for you abby. you couldn't even last a day."
"please, stay -- i just, you don't understand," abby pleads, holding onto your forearm.
"then explain,"
abby fumbles for something, anything. you weren't supposed to hear anything, you were supposed to stay asleep. abby just needed to be gone a few hours, she just needed to take care of things with tammy one last time and then she was yours. she just wanted to make sure.
"so, you're not sure you love me?" you roll your eyes as abby rubs her face in her hands.
"if i stay, abby, what does that say about me?" you sniffle and snatch your arm from her grip for the last time today.
"i hope you get what you're looking for anderson," you nod and pull your phone out of your pocket, texting ellie to pick you up if she was still awake.
ellie: be there in 2 mins.
"see you around," you purse your lips and close the door behind you, your ears rushing with blood so loudly you can't hear abby breaking into sobs behind the door.
tags: @lesbian-useless @sexysapphicshopowner @iamaboringrattat @sapphicsgirl @bimboprincezz
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reredaydreams · 8 months ago
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Red Lace || Jeon Jungkook
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Paring: bf!jungkook x f.reader
Summary: on a rainy day, Jungkook has fun with reader in a car.
Warning: this contains mature content, 18+
Content: car sex, public sex, tit sucking, fingering, riding, cowgirl, neck biting, smut, fluff, at the beach, mature, red lace bra, established relationship
Wc: 3.8k
Masterlist, Chapter 2
“Oh, you're back—'' Jungkook began to say as he looked up from his phone, but halts as he takes in your appearance. It wasn’t anything special; your wet hair flying backwards with the slight breeze of the air, a few tiny strands sticking to your forehead. You were just wearing a short-sleeved white shirt, and gray shorts that reached your lower thigh. The shirt, however, was the perfect tightness as it hugged your chest beautifully, while a red, lace bra slightly visible through the thin cotton material.
“Sorry, the line in the washroom was so long. People are starting to leave early today, probably because it looks like it’s going to rain” you say as you take a seat on the lavender picnic blanket, drying your hair with a towel
Today’s weather was amazing. The sun was shining, giving warmth to your skin, but it wasn’t too hot either, as there was a slight breeze of air. To enjoy the day to the fullest, you and Jungkook had decided to head to the beach.
So here you were, after taking a swim in the sea with him, sitting on the blanket, situated near a tree, allowing for shade and air to circulate around the spot.
Jungkook’s eyes had followed your movements, observing every detail. His eyes flicker to your chests, before slowly making their way to your eyes, which we’re already looking at him.
A slight playful smile rests on your lips, as you glance at Jungkook with soft eyes. Jungkook gulps before returning a cute smile, “ are people that afraid to get wet!?” He exclaimed , with an exaggerated expression. “ It's not acid rain or something. These people need to chill.”
You couldn’t help but smile widely at the cute expressions he was making while expressing his disappointment for these people.
“What, why are you smiling? Y/n, babe, are you scared of getting wet as well? Jungkook says, trying to sound serious, but couldn’t fully hide the smile on his lips.
“Ya, I am, and what about it, huh?” You said with a playful, challenging expression.
Jungkook gasped. ”Oh no, you're one of them,” he said, with a shocked expression. “don’t tell me, you're going to stop loving me just because of that?” You questioned back, acting to be hurt.
“No, that’s something that’s never going to happen. However, we will need to get rid of this fear of yours, and what other way than direct exposure.” Jungkook answered with playful eyes.
“No, you wouldn’t do that!?” You exclaimed with an exaggerated gasp. You both stared at each other before bursting into laughter.
“But no, seriously why do people get so wary of the rain?” Jungkook questioned.
“I don’t know? I guess just humans being humans” you replied back, laying on the blanket, while putting your head on his thigh.
Jungkook was already sitting on the blanket, legs extended out and crossed at the ankles. He was leaning on his arms, as his eyes were looking intently at you. His eyes traced every curve of your body, from the legs to the hips to the curves of your chest. The slight red visible through the cloth wasn't helping Jungkook much, it just made the imagination run more wild.
“Jungkook. I can feel your eyes on me. Were you checking me out?” You asked, turning her head to look up at jungkook.
Jungkook flushed a bit, having been caught in the act, before replying.
“Of course I was! Why wouldn't I when you're wearing that shirt.” Jungkook said proudly.
“In fact, I say we get to the car, and take it off, with everything else”
“JUNGKOOK!! Is this all you ever think about?” You exclaimed.
“Hey!! It’s not my fault that my partner is so hot!” He said, crossing his arms around his chest, trying to act serious.
You sat up, putting your hands on either side of Jungkook, and bringing your face closer to his. “Oh really? You always say that as your excuse. Seriously, you ne—“ you halted mid sentence, getting distracted by the people in the back, packing up, hastily making their way to their cars, as it had slightly begun to drizzle.
While you were distracted, Jungkook snaked his arm around your waist, bringing all your attention back to him.
His eyes gazed deeply into you, “seriously, what love?” Jungkook said, his eyes traveling to her lips. He brought his face closer to hers, stopping just inches before their lips would meet.
“Jungkook!” You whined. “Stop, there are too many people here, and I am not an exhibitionist like you.”
“You say? Then who was the one who trapped me between their arms, trying to tease me?” Jungkook questioned.
Getting a bit annoyed Y/N lightly pushed him on the shoulder before getting up and fixing her shorts.
Jungkook held on to Y/N’s hand before questioning her about where she was going.
“No where!” You expressed with slight annoyance. “I’m just going to pack up a few things incase the rain gets worse”
He let go of your hand as you started working on the task, jungkook helping you as well.
Once the stuff was packed up, you and Jungkook sat against the tree that was right next to the picnic blanket. Your head rested on his chests and your arms around his waist. His arms were wrapped around your shoulders, keeping you warm.
The sight in front of you was breathtaking. The dark clouds shadowing over the ground. The raindrops’ dent gently kisses the waves on the water of the sea. The crisp sound of the light drizzle hitting the ground was bliss to your ears. The environment and the presence of your lover felt calm and just like home.
Until it wasn’t anymore. The thunder started to pick up and the rain came down hard. You and Jungkook collected all your belongings and ran to your car in the parking lot, which was already empty as everyone had already left. By the time you made it into the car, you both were soaking wet.
The car was faint, the mix of yours and Jungkook's heavy breaths from running could be heard scattered with the sound of rain smacking on the surface of your car window, which made nothing outside visible.
Your appearance was a sight to behold, the small wet strands of hair sticking to your forehead, and the red lace bra that was slightly visible through your white shirt beforehand, was now prominently seen along with some skin. Despite the deceived look, you looked rather hot and sexy. A candy for the eyes.
Jungkook’s eyes were on you, devouring the candy they had been given.
“It’s raining quite badly outside and not much is visible. We should stay put for the time being." Jungkook informed you.
You hummed in response, eyes still closed and resting against the headrest. As you caught your breath, you could feel someone staring intensely at you. That someone being none other than jungkook.
Slightly opening your eyes you looked towards him, arching your eyebrow in a questioning way.
Jungkook’s corner lip turned crescent. “Since we are going to be here for a while, don’t you think we should have some fun?” There was a mischievous look in eyes, and you understood exactly what he meant by fun.
“Fun. Seriously, huh?” You questioned “Ya, what do you say?” He questions back, while leaning towards your seat. His eyes traveled to your lips, as he licked his own lips, and looked back into yours.
“No. I’m tired, I’m going to rest for a bit. I don’t want to have fun.” You asserted, closing your eyes and resting your head. Your statement made the playful smile that rested on Jungkook's face vanish.
You could sense Jungkook residing back into his seat, before a sound of an angry exhalation of breath made its way to your ears. Jungkook had his arms crossed over his chest, his lip forming a small pout.
“Jungkook” you called out, looking towards him, only to be completely ignored as he continued to gaze out the window; there was nothing visible outside as the heavy rain made the visibility very low.
“Jungkook” you called out once more, only to be met with his silence once again.
Your arm reached towards him, hand grabbing his neck, fingers wrapping around his throat and pulling him close. So close, that your lips only centimeters away, ready to enclose the others with one's own. The damp strands of hair that stuck to his forehead brushed against yours. Both yours and his eyes locked on to each other, looking intently into the depths.
“Baby” you said, caressing your thumb over his jaw in a soothing manner, yet still, Jungkook remained silent. He continued looking into your eyes, his chest moving up and down with heavy breaths; a result of your actions, as they sent an exhilarating rush through his body.
“Baby” you once again called, tilting your head a little, as your eyes made their ways to his lips. “I was just teasing you, I’m always down to have fun with you” saying that you connected your lips with his. However, as he was about to respond back to the kiss, you pulled away.
“Y/n,” there was a warning in his voice, and an intensity in his eyes. You hummed, in a motion to tell him to continue. ”Stop teasing me” he said, momentarily waiting. “Please.”
There was a desperation in his voice, a want, no, more like a need. A need for you, a need to have you, a need to be tangled with you.
You smiled softly at him, before locking your lips with his, in a real kiss this time. He kissed you back as if it was a necessity to him, as if to dispel a long, fervent thirst. It was almost as if he had been a wanderer in a never ending desert, finally having come across the water he so desperately required.
His arm folded around your back, pulling you even closer. His other hand traveled towards his own neck, holding on tightly to your hand that was wrapped around it, all in an effort to keep you from pulling back again.
The kiss was passionate, so intense that it sent a burning sensation through your body. Your tongues danced and tangled together, fighting the other for dominance.
You released the grip on Jungkook's neck, but his hold on your hand tightened. He knew you were going to pull back, and he didn’t want to let you do that.
You pried your hand out of his hold before pushing his shoulder with a light force. This made him finally let go of the kiss.
You moved back, hand over your chest, as you regained a composed breath. Jungkook was staring at you intensely, breathing deeply himself.
“You really love taking my breath away, don’t you?” You questioned. He remained silent, looking at you with the same intensity.
This time it was him, who grabbed onto your neck, pulling you in for another kiss. This time it was slow, as jungkook softly sucked on your lips. He pulled back momentarily, meeting your eyes. “I love making you breathless,” he stated. “Do you know how hot you look in this disheveled look? And knowing that I have as much of an effect on you, as you have on me, just makes me want to worship you, to see even more of this beauty of yours.”
He pulled you in for another kiss, this time it was more intense, more fierce, devouring you in that moment. Your hand went to his muscular bicep, holding onto it tightly, as if to prevent you from completely losing control, though it wasn't helping much. Jungkook rubbed small circles on your neck with his thumb, while the other hand, that was encircled around you, massaged the side of your waist. You loved these tiny physical touches that intoxicated you in his love.
Jungkook pulled back, connecting his forehead with yours. “Y/n. Shall we have some fun then?” he questioned. Your eyes were still closed, as you took deep breaths. You opened your eyes, and looked into jungkooks, his eyes were already locked on to you, waiting intently.
“Jungkook,” you said, taking a moment, while caressing his lower lip. “Lets fuck.”
In the next moment, Jungkook was sitting in the passenger seat, with you on top of him, straddling his waist. Your arms wrapped around his neck, his one arm encircled around your waist, keeping you close, as physically possible. While another hand held your head, pulling you in, locking your lips with his. You could feel how excited he was sitting on his lap.
“Aren’t you horny? Hmm.” You questioned, as Jungkook pulled away to trail kisses along your jaw, down to your neck. “Getting so hard already,” you teased.
Jungkook moved his head to rest his chin on top of your chest, looking up into your eyes. “Ya, and it's all your fault” he stated. “And you like seeing this, don’t you? The effect that you have on me, hmm?'' Jungkook asked, with a little pout on his lips, while his eyes held a teasing glint, earning a chuckle from you.
A little “ow” left your lips, as Jungkook bit your neck, before softly sucking the area where he had left bite marks. “Hey” you exclaimed playfully. “What? I can’t leave you with bite marks, like the ones you leave on me all the time?” Jungkook poked.
Your eyes narrowed, as you glared at him with an angry expression. “No, you can not. It's my thing” you declared. Jungkook lightly laughed at your cuteness, earning an even more intense glare from you. He gave you a sly smile, before leaning in to give you a light kiss on the lips, while his hands sneakingly moved your shirt up, leaving it to rest above your chest area.
He pulled, looking down towards your chest, the red lace bar that was driving him wild earlier, teasing him gently with the little hints through your shirt, was now fully seen in front of his eyes. He leaned in, licking the slit between your cleavage, trailing kisses to your boob, sucking on the soft area above your bra lining.
His fingers hooked onto the upper lining of the bra, pulling it down and resting it under your boobs, exposing them to the cool air, sending a shiver down your back. His thumbs went to the now hard nipples, rubbing circles on them, hearing a hum of contentment from you.
His soft lips connected with your nipple, sucking on it tenderly, while his one hand continued to play with your other nipple; he would rub it, squeeze it, pull it, and pinch it. As he carried on this show of affection, the soft movements turned more heated, more passionate, and more intense. He sucked harder.
“You like that, baby? Having your tits sucked by me?” he teased. Though he didn’t get a verbal answer from you, but by the sounds of satisfaction that flowed out your lips, he could tell you were finding enjoyment in this, like you always did.
Jungkook leaned back in the seat, taking in your whole appearance; oh, how gorgeous you looked. Your messy damp hair flowed over your shoulders, a few short strands lingering on your forehead, your wettish shirt resting above your chest area, your boobs laying upon your bra. He couldn’t wait any longer, he needed you. Now. The way you were looking at him, your eyes carrying a temptatious look, as if commanding him to initiate what he was thinking, told him that you needed him too.
Your hands probed his chest area, before making their way you to the hems of his t-shirt, slightly pulling it up to make you intentions aware. Jungkook understood, and eagerly complied with your command.
Once his t-shirt was discarded, leaving him only in his shorts, Jungkook quickly went to take off all your clothes, throwing them aside to the driver's seat.
His hand reached down, and began rubbing circles with his gentle, yet icy fingers on your now exposed pussy. The touch sent a cold, yet electric sensation through your body, causing you to grab onto his shoulders.
“Someone was calling me horny earlier, but now they’re wet from just getting their nipples played with,” Jungkook remarked. “Isn’t that right, baby?”
“Nipples are a sensitive part, but you got hard just from looking at me and kissing me” you countered, leaning in to whisper into his ear.
“You’re never going to let me win, are you?” Jungkook questioned, with a lazy smile. “Never!” You declared, shaking your head.
A sudden moan left your lips, your hold tightening on his shoulders, as Jungkook sneakingly inserted a finger inside of you. “Even if it means for me to be a loser, I will always make you the winner” he expressed, moving his icy finger in and out, while rubbing his thumb over your clit.
It felt good, really good, the sounds of pleasure leaving your mouth serving as an indication. The attention on your pussy continued, while more digits were added, making you even more wet, leading you closer to a delightful frenzy. However, his movements came to a sudden halt, earning him a groan of disapproval. “Though, I never said that the win will be easy”
A teasing smirk rested on his lips, keenly gazing at your annoyed expression, anticipating your next move. Oh, you were very much annoyed, and you were not going to let him go so easily for edging you like this.
Your hand grabbed onto his neck, as your lips attacked his jaw, trailing down to his neck, leaving kisses along the way, all the while sucking the skin harshly. Your teeth latched onto his shoulder, biting it with a slight intensity, only enough to cause a tiny sting of pain. Low moans left his mouth, not just from the pleasure, but also from the satisfaction from seeing you behave like this. He loved this side of you. And that bite you gave him, only resulted in a wider smile to play on his face.
You continued to leave marks on him, as your hands roamed all over his chest before making their way to the waistband of his shorts. Without wasting any time, you swiftly freed his hard cock from its containment. Your fingers caressed its length, while your thumb rubbed over the tip.
Strings of moans left his mouth, as he was lost in delight. “Look at you, leaking already” you examined, retreating your hand completely, leaving him to groan in response.
You brought your lower body close to his cock, spreading the lips of your pussy, you rubbed your clit against it. It felt good, not just the motion, but also the satisfaction of seeing the desperation appearing on his face.
With half open eyes, he gazed at you, “babbyy,” the whine left his mouth. “Please” he pleaded. “Please ride me”
With a smirk of victory, you picked up his wallet that was placed in the cup holder. Retrieving a condom from it, you placed it on him, rubbing your wetness on it as a lubricant.
You lifted up your hips, spreading your lips down there apart, lining his cock with your entrance, and slowing moving yourself down. All the while making sure his eyes remained on you at constant.
A moan of contentment left his lips, finally being able to feel himself inside of you, sending him into a bliss. You began to move your hips back and forth, a bit slowly for his liking though, you still weren’t done teasing him.
“Happy now, that you get to feel yourself inside me?” You teased, earning a tiny groan from him as he rested his head against the seat, eyes closed, and lost in the feeling.
After a bit longer of teasing him while riding him sensationally, you picked up your movements, now moving up and down his cock. Your breasts followed suit, swaying in a similar motion. Your movement slowly picked up pace, increasing the sounds that left yours and jungkook’s lips, in amount and intensity. His fingers pinched your clit, adding to your pleasure and soon enough you clenched around his cock, releasing over him.
Just as you finished your climax, jungkook’s hands went to your hips, lifting you up slightly, as he began thrusting into you. A sudden ‘ah’ left your lips, followed by a string of moans. Your arms wrapped around his neck, clutching on tightly, as his movement became more vigorous, leading him to a release soon after.
Jungkook slowly moved your hips down to rest on him, as you slumped over him, still hugging him close with your arms around his neck. His arms wrapped around your back, while his face rested in the crook of your neck. He soothingly rubbed your back with his hands, along with placing soft kisses on your neck and shoulder, causing a small smile to appear on your lips.
You pulled back to meet his eyes. There was the most loving look in his shining, doe eyes, as he admired his beautiful partner. “So, did you enjoy having fun?” You inquired.
He rested his forehead against yours, his one hand caressing your check gently. “Yes. I always enjoy having fun with you” he stated. “In fact..” he trailed off. “We go for round two?” He asked, with the mischievous look displayed on his face once again.
“Alright. However, I’m a bit tired, so you have to do all the work” you asserted. “Whatever you wish, my princess” he complied, making you roll your eyes playfully at the nickname, before he placed a small peck on your lips, a smile never leaving his own.
And like that, here you were, laying on the back seat of the car, while Jungkook was on top of you, trusting in you once again. “My beautiful y/n,” he admired, his fingers trailing along your face, pushing aside a few strands, before continuing to graze his fingers down your body, from chest to stomach, to finally resting on your thighs that were wrapped around his waist.
Moans of ecstasy left your lips, as he continued pounding you passionately. His hand made its way to your throat, wrapping around it softly, before connecting his lips with yours. “Do you feel good, baby? Are you enjoying me thrusting into you like this?” He questioned playfully, only to get a hum of satisfaction in response.
“Are you going to cum princess?” He teasingly inquired, hearing your moans grow in sound, along with his speed and intensity. “Let it all out, cum for me baby” he assured, and soon enough you did, followed by him moments later.
As you both had regained your composure, Jungkook cleaned you up and himself with the tissues available in the vehicle. He grabbed a blanket, adjusting the position so that his back rested against the seat, and you were laying on top, followed by him bundling up both of you with the blanket.
Taking time to relax, you nestled up in each other’s warmth, comfort, and love, while waiting for the rainstorm to pass by.
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peppermintquartz · 3 months ago
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Canon divergence in that Buck does call Tommy the next time he's free, asking to go up in a chopper (instead of the harebrained scheme of going to the BBPU game)
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"And that's my favorite view," says Tommy, angling the helicopter to face the Pacific. It's late in the morning so sunlight glitters on the water like diamonds scattered on blue silk.
Buck shields his eyes with his hands. "It's beautiful!" he exclaims, almost giddy with delight at the panorama.
"It is. And at night, I like to look the other way, at the city spread out before me." Tommy's aviator sunglasses hide his eyes but his big smile is on full display.
Buck can't help the shiver in his belly every time he looks at Tommy. It's clear the air is his element. Already Buck knows that Tommy is very competent - they wouldn't have pulled off the rescue otherwise - but here, without anything to distract them, Buck sees how the chopper is an extension of Tommy himself. A deft touch, a slight adjustment, and the vehicle moves smoothly for Tommy to point out different landmarks from the sky.
By the time they land, Buck's spirits are still soaring. He's spent forty minutes flying with Tommy, who not only talked about the mechanics of flying, but also answered almost all of Buck's questions without ever sounding bored. In fact, he seems happy that Buck has done some research before he came for the ride.
"Okay, now I really need to buy you that beer, and also a meal." Buck wants to bounce on his heels. He feels lighter than air, like he's just a balloon full of happy emotions.
Tommy grins, shrugging as he tucks his aviators into a pocket. "I'm free for the rest of the day," he says. Ducking his head, he adds, "Didn't feel too good leaving you alone the other day to go watch the fight, but I didn't think we'd take two hours to tour Harbor Station either."
Buck's cheeks flush. He remembers being irrationally angry when Eddie and Tommy flew off, and he did go home to pummel his pillow a little before sulking. But he's done the mature thing, which is ask Tommy for a flight demo, instead of something insane like figure out what other activities he would be doing or events he would attend and try to show up there like a toy surprise.
"Well, that was because I wanted to find out so much, and it's really your fault, because you answered everything in detail." Buck falls in step with the older man as they head to Tommy's car. "You have to be accountable for your mistakes."
Tommy laughs. Buck feels tingly and proud that he's made that happen. Daringly, he nudges Tommy's elbow with his.
"So, what would you like for lunch?" Buck asks. "My treat, as thanks for the flight."
"Sure," says Tommy with an easy smile. As they approach the car, Tommy halts.
Buck stops as well, a little concerned. "Everything okay?"
Tilting his head, Tommy studies Buck, and then his expression grows a little more nervous and serious. "I... I don't wanna presume anything, and I want you to know that, regardless of anything I'm about to say, I wanna be your friend."
Buck blinks at the older man. "Okay, um. What's this about?"
"Evan, before we go to lunch, I kinda wanna know what's going on here? I mean..." Tommy licks his lips, and Buck's gaze snaps to Tommy's mouth. "You're adorable and you're funny and, well. You're a gorgeous guy. I'm not... I'm not really sure why you wanna spend time with me. And I don't wanna get my hopes up if this is just me reading the signs wrongly."
"Uh, signs?"
Tommy's face falls. He glances away, wiping his hand over his mouth, and licks his lips again. "Shit. I've read you wrong."
Buck reaches out to touch Tommy's wrist. "Tommy, I'm not sure what you're saying."
Tommy looks back at Buck, blue eyes taking in the younger man's expression, and sighs. He flips his hand over to hold the tips of Buck's fingers.
"Hell. Might as well lay my cards out," he mutters, mostly to himself, and then looks - really looks - at Buck. "Evan, I'm gay. And these couple times we've met up, I really, really like how we click. I like your energy, and how earnest and open you are. And it doesn't hurt that you are one of the most attractive men I've ever met, and I really like spending time with you, and I'm hoping... I'm hoping I can ask you out for a date and maybe we can... find out if we could. If we could be more than friends."
There's an anxious cast to his features. Buck can see Tommy's jaw clench and the nervous swallow, and a part of Buck's mind is screaming static. Another part of him is frantically stammering, "I'm just an ally!!" But thankfully that part of him has no control of his mouth, because he instead steps closer to Tommy and-
Oh. Oh.
So that's how it feels to kiss a guy.
He pulls back slightly, but is stopped by the touch of fingers under his chin, and Tommy draws him back for a second kiss, his head angled, and-
Wow. Wow, okay. They're near the airfield in the parking lot and the breeze is cool and the sun is shining nice and warm and they are kissing, Buck is kissing Tommy and this feels right.
When they finally separate, possibly two centuries later, Buck blinks at Tommy. His face feels hot and his skin is tingling. With a small, happy grin, he says, "I would say yes to the date, if that helps."
Tommy chuckles. He licks his lips again and Buck forces himself to look away from those lips. "Okay. I'd like to ask you out on a date on Saturday night, if you're free."
"I... I'm free." Buck's grin grows brighter. He tilts his head. "Lunch, now?"
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mirohlayo · 1 year ago
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THE ONLY ONE | LN4
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( lando and you are on a break because of an argument. but he needs you back. )
warning : angst, fluff, some jealousy, happy ending ofc
word count : 5.1k
note : the longest thing i have ever written with 5k words 😭 pretty proud of it, hope it's not too long lol
!! english not my first language !!
lando sighs as he watches for around the 30th time your instagram story. it was a picture of your outfit of the day, but the little detail - or big detail for him - was the unknown man standing next to you and his clothes matching with yours. lando can't help but rewatch again and again your story throughout all the day. of course, he loves your outfit. he thinks everything suits you, either an elegant dress or just a big hoodie. it was not the problem. but why the fuck your outfit matched with the one of an other man than him ? he just don't understand. usually, he would be and was the only one to match with your outfit. it was kind of your love language, and lando loves it. every time you asked him to wear the same clothes as you, he never refused the offer and even lend you one of his hoodie. it is something very special for him, so when he saw you doing this with an other man than him, he really didn't like it. actually, he hated it.
and the worse ? he is once again looking at your story, laying in your shared bed in his monaco apartment, clinging to your pillow. oh poor him. there is still the scent of you and your shampoo filled in the pillow you used to sleep on when you passed the nights with your loved one. he's holding onto it anytime he's missing you, which is basically every minutes. he smells your fragrance, finding so much comfort in it. and he would also imagines you next to him, cuddling his body and playing with his hair. but these are just memories now. it seems long time ago for him, when the last time you saw each other was actually around 3 weeks now. but it was not a good last time. completely the opposite. and he curses himself when he remembers what happened that day.
"fuck, who is this... thing ? guy ?" he says, throwing his phone over the blankets. for real, who was this man next to you ? have you already forget him and moved on ? but no, you guys are still together. theoretically. yes, the last time you talked to each other was during an argument, but when you left him all alone in his apartment, you didn't say you broke up with him. you just left, furious and mostly hurt. you were on a break. you didn't talk together since the argument, didn't send any text messages that you both would always send every hours because of how much you missed each other. 3 weeks without any contacts. but the thing you don't know is lando still looking at your social medias accounts everyday, missing you dearly. sometimes he hesitates, if he should like or not your stories.
every days, every hours, every minutes, every seconds are hurtful without you. he's still playing again and again in his head the last smile he captured of you. he is missing you so fucking bad. and the only person he can blame is himself. yes, he is the one to blame at. he was the one who started the argument and the one to say the most rude and hurtful words. and he feels so much guilty about it. he can't stand the fact he was the one who hurt and upset the most precious person to his eyes. everything is his fault. and now he thinks he's just a fool who don't deserve you. it pains so much his heart, and he's getting sick of it. he needs you again. he needs to see you again. he needs to kiss and hug you again.
he let a scream out, overthinking about the situation. he grabs his phone and opens the text app. he clicks on your name, and starts typing something. but what ? hello ? hi ? can we talk together ? no. he just can't send you some stupid messages and thinks everything will be perfect again like 3 weeks ago. what was he thinking ? he sighs longly and decides to take a shower to stop thinking about you. but he damn knows that's impossible because every single thing reminds him of you.
like taking showers. you would often showered with him because he loves showering together. washing your hair and hugging you to warm your freezing body meanwhile the cold water was turning hot. and then after you doing his haircare routine, styling his damp curls while he was just looking at you with adoration. or when you guys would spend your evenings together, cuddling close under a woolen plaid on the couch, watching a movie until one of you two would fall asleep. or when you cooked some recipes and it ended up in a food battle. god he's craving of those moments again. he really needs to do something...
-
race day. it is sunday today and of course lando have to race. he don't know it, but you are in the paddock club. yes, even if you're on a break in your relationship, you couldn't miss a race and decided to attend it. those last 3 weeks, you didn't miss a single one races. you didn't attend them, because you were still hurt by lando's words and you didn't want his fans to see you present there, so you just watched the races and your papaya driver on the tv. but you missed so much seeing him in reality, so you attend today's race. of course, you are wearing glasses and a cap to not be recognizable. and you're also sitting in a hidden corner.
lando has no clue that you are here, watching his car moving around. and you have no clue that he is thinking about you and the way he's going to apologize to you. so as the race passes, you keep an eye on his car. your heart and your being feels weird. the amount of love you have for him is still here, and it never shaded away for the past 3 weeks. not a single bit. but of course you are still upset and hurt. the words he said to you broke you into tears. you love him so much, never you loved someone like that. so when he told you those mean things, you felt weak. and very very sad.
in a blink, the race is already finished. fans wave at the drivers who are celebrating the podium with their race team. you smile, admiring the place. you would be lying if you said you didn't missed races. you were always happy to attend one. maybe for the race, or maybe just to spend more time with lando. by the way, he didn't finish on the podium but still get p4. and despite the fact you are still gloomy, you are proud of him, like usually. because he's just the best after all.
now you have to leave the track. of course, you would have love to stay and join your favorite driver, but he don't know you are here and you don't want him to see you. because nobody has already apologize. and it's been 3 weeks since you haven't seen and spoken to him. it would be awkwardly embarrassing. so you have to take precautions and be prudent to not be seen by any mclaren team member. you go down the balcony's stairs, lowering your head and hiding your face with the cap. of course it has to be an orange cap, because it is the only hat you have. an other way to be even more discreet, huh. but it works well. you are now in the paddock area, just in front of the mclaren one. you recognize a lot of engineers and people who work with your boyfriend and you hope deep inside you they don't see and recognize you. but it seems like you failed it.
"y/n ?" oh. oh... it's not just anyone. it's not just a random maclaren team member. no. it is him. it's his voice. his voice that you missed hearing. it's lando norris. you stop, and don't know what to do. and don't know how to react. so you stay like this, turning your back on him. "y/n ? is it you ?" you close your eyes and exhale, you're not really in the mood to talk to him. the only person you shouldn't meet is now facing you. you turn around and keep your head low, you don't have the force to look at him.
you just remove your glasses and put them in your pocket. "why are you here ?" he asks confused, but you can tell he's concerned about it. "to... support you, i guess ?". you finally give up and cross his gaze. and it aches your heart. he looks tired, i mean of course he just finished a 2 hours race but still he looks even tired than usually. his face is pale, doesn't have much color. and his eyes are so tiny, so many emotions in them. "oh ok. huhh thank you...". he answers awkwardly. you bite your lower lip, the atmosphere is, well, very awkward yes. "so, how are you?" you ask to get rid of this tension.
how he is ? fuck this question. he doesn't even want to answer. does he really need to say that he blames himself every day, that he can't sleep because of how much he cries thinking about you, that he skips dinners because of how bad he's feeling ? he never felt like that with any person. it is the first time his whole being aches that much. but he can't tell you that, he knows you will not forgive him that easily. "good. and you ?" he says, avoiding your gaze. "good too" you hum sotfly. he knows damn well that's a lie, because even your tone betrayed you. he tries to take a look at you. his heart squeezes in pain, the view in front of him is heartbreaking. you look as tired as him. and as pale as him too. where is the smile he loves so much gone ? the shining sparkles in your pretty eyes ?
he fights the urge to pull you in his arms. but he's the one at fault, he can only blame himself. "hum, i'll go now" "no." he answers back to back and you look at him confused and surprised. "i-i mean you're going back to monaco ?" he stutters. "no, i'll join a friend of mine" you says coldly. "oh... ok..." god he sounds so sad, it pains you. you struggles to not hug him. because yes, you're hurt, but you still love him like crazy. "well... oh and good job today" you quickly say and starts to leave, not wanting to stay more here. you don't turn back, but lando is now smiling softly, watching you fade away in the crowd. "thank you, love" he whisper to himself.
he sighs, blinking slowly. now memories are coming back, and he remembers what happened that night, when everything went wrong in only one second.
- -
you were very tired. a hard day of work. so when you came home, in your lover's apartment in monaco, all you wanted was to follow him around like a puppy and cuddle him. you were so clingy and so needy. it was rare, very very rare for you to be like that, all clingy and needy, so when that night you doubled it, it was kind of surprising and shocking. usually, lando loves when you get clingy, when you want him all for yourself. because it not happens often, so of course he cherishes these moments. but that night, it was different. he didn't like the way you acted with him. you kept following him around the apartment, touching him gently and innocently. like grabbing his hand, placing soft kisses on his cheeks, back hugs. you just wanted his attention. you just wanted your lover. but he didn't seems he felt the same about you. first, he didn't care much. he just didn't returned back your affection. but the more you were getting clingy, the more he was getting angry. he started to hate it.
you tried to kiss him on the lips and instead of kissing you back roughly, he turned his head and your lips pressed against his cheek. you paused for a second, confused. you frowned and tried to understand why he did that. why your lover didn't return back your hugs ? your kisses ? why he acted like you didn't even exist ? you placed your hand on his forearm but he shifted. your heart squeezed, why was he like this ? usually, he was the neediest one and the one getting even clingier. you were lost.
"baby, why you don't kiss me back ?" you asked softly. lando sighed and he seemed annoyed. he didn't even dare to reply. which hurt you. you moved and stopped before him. "something is wrong ? something bothers you ?" you tried to understand why he was in this mood, you wanted to help him talk about whatever bothered his thoughts. but you didn't expect to hear that. "yes, you." he hissed. your face deformed. did you hear well ? "w-what ?" you stuttered. "you. it's you. you fucking annoy me". you blinked and took some few steps back. your being hurt, your heart was broken. "what do you mean ?"
"you're so clingy and needy and i fucking hate it. stop being like that and stop touching me. you're so annoying" he threw these words at you, giving you a death look as his furrowed his brows. oh pain was real. you felt weak, you thought it was all a dream. but no, your lover was here, saying harsh words to you and kept hurting your poor little heart. and while you tried to understand his behavior - because he would never talk bad to you like that - a bulb lighted in your head.
it was qualifying. you remembered lando's week went bad and hard for him. bad practices, no luck, his slow car, his poor performance... nothing went right. and you knew how much f1 had an important impact on him and his mental health. he was so hard on himself and sometimes he would overthink about why he sucks at racing. this explains why he was acting like a shit with you. you knew it was that. he didn't want to do a bad race tomorrow. so instead of calm down and talk about it with you, he let out all his anger on you. it was like he took you as a punching ball and kept punching you, until you broke in pieces. you understand how he felt, racing is his job, he has to be the best. but let out his anger on your poor person even though you did nothing wrong, you couldn't take that. yes, he had the right to be angry and annoyed and whatever, but being harsh towards you won't make his performance better. so you tried to talk with him. or maybe argue with him.
"lando, please. i know you don't mean what you say." he stared at you and then walk closer to you. his gaze get through yours, and a storm appeared in it. "yes, i mean it y/n. you're getting on my nerves and i don't like that. maybe i don't like you too". wow. it was harsh. it was like getting stabbed again and again. he don't like you ? he really meant it ? now you were about to cry. tears filled your eyes, and you breathed harder to not let them run. and of course lando noticed it. "what, really ? are you going to cry ? you're the one who started it all and you think you can cry ? gosh you're so pathetic y/n". you shook your head and looked away because you knew soon your tears will drop. was he saying bullshit now ? "oh, you're really crying" he made fun of you and your statement. but you couldn't stand here and just cry. you had to speak up, to explain how you felt and explain that letting out his anger on you was not the solution. "please lando stop. i know it's because of racing that you're acting like that. you can be upset and annoyed but it can't justify the fact you burst your emotions on me. i did nothing wrong, i just want to help yo-" "it's not about racing !!!!" he yelled at you.
you almost jumped because of how much he scared you. he never yelled at you. never ever. he was so different from the lando you knew. lando was the perfect, caring, kindness boyfriend. who was so in love with you. not someone who yell and hurt you. "you can't even see it's you the problem. i don't need your shitty cuddles and hugs and everything. i never wanted you and i don't even need you. you sucks". "lando pleas-" "i wish i had never met you". and then he passed you to crawl on the couch, turning on the tv. he looked like he didn't even care about you anymore. your heart cried as your being hurt. the best thing that have ever came into your life just said he wish he had never met you. how hurtful it is. and you thought it was the race who made him angry like that, but it seemed like it's not the reason anymore. just him speaking maybe the truth and what he thinks about you. and you wished you were dreaming. but no, it was not.
you never had an argument with him. or when something was wrong, you would always talk about it. but it was so different. the person you loved the most broke you. pain, yeah, pain filled your body. it ached badly. you just wanted to leave. run far far away. so he couldn't hurt you anymore. "i'm leaving. i can't stay with you anymore so i'll go" "then go. get out of my apartment. i would be better off without you". it was one sentence too many. your tears ran down your cheeks, your face. you couldn't stop them. so you just leave, shutting the door behind you, as the one who broke you started to realize little by little what happened. and it was when guilt started to kick him.
-
"so fucking dumb you are" max says again, cursing at his friend's behavior towards you. "i know. don't remind me. i'm such an idiot" lando says again, cursing at himself. he is laying on his bed, re-watching your new instagram stories while max is sitting on the other side of the bed. "and for the fucking 40th time please stop looking at her stories. you've been doing this since this morning." max states, and try to grab his friend's phone who dodge it effortlessly. f1 driver reflexes yes. "then you stop sitting on this side of the bed. y/n's perfume will disappear because of you and your stinky scent". max rolls his eyes and finally stand up. "you're miserable".
lando sighs, and throws his phone over the blankets. "max help me... i'm so fucking lost without her." "but it's your own fault. you're the one to blame at". he shrugs and shake his head. "i know it's my fault max. don't you know i'm literally dying every single day because of how much i miss her ? that i'm crying because i will never find someone like her ? i'm in a shitty situation and i don't feel well because she's not with me. look, i'm in a pitiful state even though we did not even broken. what will i be like if we break up for real ? i don't even want to imagine it because i already know it will be awful." he passes his hand in his hair, ruffling them. "i've never felt like that about any exes, anyone. it's the first time i suffer like this, i don't know what to do...". max looks at his friend and his gaze softens. he hates seeing his best friend suffer, he can't stand it. "lando i can help you. and i will help you. but you have to promise me that you-" "SHE TEXTED ME !!!" lando suddenly screams.
"what ??" max jumps on the bed and sit next to him. "MAX !! SHE SENT ME A MESSAGE" lando is going crazy, he is just shocked. he don't even realizes what happens, he thinks he's dreaming. his heart is beating faster now. but max sighs as he reads the text you just sent, a simple "i'm coming to pick up some things in the evening". it is more a negative message because it means you're not staying in your boyfriend's apartment, but still lando is relieved by this one text. "lando, she's not staying. she's coming to pick up things because she don't want to live with you" "but it's her first text since 3 weeks ago ! she thinks about me too!"
max shakes his head and closes his eyes because he's getting a headache. "mate you don't get it" he says. but his friend don't listen, he is too focused on his phone. because he knows he's going to see her girlfriend soon, and he knows it will be the moment to apologize, to show her how much he cares about her. "max, help me. give me advices please. i'm listening". and then the two would spend the whole afternoon together, the streamer giving advices to the driver. lando is prepared, he don't want to loose his chance.
and then someone knocks on the door. he knows it is you because it's now around 6pm. max left 30 minutes ago. so it means you two will be alone together. lando almost tumbles because he ran towards the door at the speed of his mclaren livery. he takes a breath and opens the door.
oh.
your pretty face. the first thing he saw. his heart squeezes at the sight of you. your eyes, scanning his face and his body while he does the same for you. he can't believes you're standing in from of him, even though he saw you last week on sunday. but he's feeling worried now. you look super tired. dark circles under your tired eyes, your cheekbones more visible. you are as terrible as him. nobody dare to talk, and you start to feel awkward. "can i enter or maybe i just stay here until tomorrow ?" you say. "o-oh yes, come..." he shifts and you walk inside the apartment. and a weird feeling seizes you. every rooms of the apartment holds a memory from you and your boyfriend. the kitchen where he would cooks your breakfast, the living room where you would play karaokes. you feel nostalgic. and remember these memories makes you want to stay, to forgive lando, to be back together like before. but you put yourself together and fight this urge. you came for your things, not for him. or maybe it was also your intention. "how are you ?" he asks cautiously. "good. what about you ?" you reply. "good too". no, lies. from both of you.
you make your way to the bedroom. the first thing you see is your pillow above lando's one, as is he was sleeping on it. and the fact is that he was truly sleeping on it, your scent lulled him every nights. you put your suitcase on the bed and open it, you don't want to waste time. but there is a problem. and it's a big one. you have to sleep with lando tonight. not maybe in the same bed, but still you have to pass the night in his, well your shared apartment. those past 3 weeks, you were hosting at one of your friend's house. when lando asked you to moved in with him, you sold your old apartment. that's why you had nowhere to go, and lando was so worried about it but you weren't aware of it of course.
but your friend's parents were passing through and decided to pay a visit to your friend's house. you didn't want to intrude, so instead of worrying your friend you said you will buy an hotel room. what a coincidence you are now in your boyfriend apartment, sweating because you are scared to ask him to stay. so waiting for the fateful moment, you keep packing up things. you can also feel lando staring at you and his intense look burns your cheeks. "do you need anything ? you want something to eat ?" he asks sudenly, and you can hear he's caring about you by his tone. "no i'm okay, thank you" you simply answer.
your heart start pounding faster, and you sweat even more. god why were you so shy and scared ? he is your boyfriend after all, why would he refuse ? you play nervously with your necklace, the one lando gave you for your first date. you never took it off since now. "are you... okay ?" your boyfriend gives you a concerned look, he noticed you stopped packing your clothes. you take a deep breath and move to face him. "hum... can i..." your words don't want to leave your mouth. "can i stay here ? does it bothers you if i sleep here tonight ? if so then it's okay i will fin-" "no stay please." he rushes back. you look at him surprised. "i-i mean it doesn't bother me at all. you can sleep here". you give him a small smile and a little thank you. he smiles back, but unlike you it is a big, happy smile. the exact smile you love seeing from him. "huh, you can sleep on the bed, i'll go with the couch". he adds and you just nod.
lando just keep staring at you. of course, it disturbs you because sometimes you are putting useless things in your suitcase. he takes advantage of it to admire you. your body's silhouette he loved hugging, your shiny and soft hair he loved styling, your presence and its hold on him. you truly are precious to him. he knows he can't live without you in his life, it's just impossible. he needs you. not tomorrow, not in the next few hours. no. he needs you now. right now. he just can't stand the fact you're right here and can't kiss him or push him on the bed to cuddle him. he approaches you, and gently grabs your hand. surprisingly, you don't remove it and he melts down in the touch. "y/n... please listen to me". you sigh longly and turn your face to cross his eyes. you are also tired of it. even if he hurts you so bad, you can't stay far away from him because you need him as he needs you. "i'm listening". he strokes the back of your hand and takes your chin in his fingers to lift up your head, forcing you to look at him.
"i'm so fucking sorry y/n. so so sorry. you have no idea how much i blame myself and i feel so guilty every day. i'm the worst boyfriend ever, i don't even deserve you. every single minutes i keep thinking about what i said that day and if i could i would go back in time. because i regret so much those hurtful and cruel words i said to you. and you have to believe me, i didn't meant not a single word. i can't stand the fact that i'm the one who hurt you when i said i would punch the person who would did it". you try to reply back but he's so into it now. "please let me finish. i love you. i'm so madly and deeply in love with you. if you ever ask me to bring down the stars and the moon for you i'll do it. i would do anything for you. i love you. i have never loved someone like that. even with my exes, i never felt like that before, i never wanted someone so bad than you. you're the only one for me. nobody can replace you y/n. you're the best thing that ever happened to me, and i'll never let anything and anyone taking you from me. i need you in my life and i want you in my life because i can't imagine it without you. when i said i would be better without you, i so fucking lay. it's completely the opposite, i'm nothing without you. i would do anything for you to forgive me. because you're the only one, and you'll always be the only one."
tears are now running down his cheeks. and yours too. gosh he just let everything out, he has never been so desperate over someone. you can't stand it anymore and hug him tightly. he melts down in your hug and squeezes you. oh he missed you so much. he hides his wet face in the crook of your neck and keeps crying like a baby. you rub his back slowly and place a soft kiss on his hair. "i love you too lando. i'm so in love with you and i also need you." you simply say, because you know he already knows you're infatuated with him. and you guys stayed like that for fifteen minutes, lando keeping his arms around you. he don't want to let you go. he's so afraid of it now. "let's go cuddle in the bed. or maybe you still hate it" you tease him gently. "no. please. cuddle me. be clingy and needy, i'm only asking for it. don't go away from me." you two crumble into the bed and put the blankets over your bodies. lando curls up against you, his grip tight on you that you can barely breathe. he hides once again his head in the crook of your neck and one of his hand slips under your shirt, stroking your back. you start playing with his curls, something he loves and craves very much.
"i love you so much my baby" he suddenly says. you smile and peck his side profile. "me too lan". he lift up his head and your looks cross. he can't help it and a silly smile takes place on his lips. and he leans in, kissing you softly, your warm lips against his. he missed kissing you, so he really struggles to pull back. "besides i was such a liar. i'm the most needy and clingy one." you laugh hard and kiss him once again. he returns back the kiss and traces his way to your neck, planting soft kisses on it. "no for real, i would literally die without your cuddles. and just without you actually". you giggle and, you spend the rest of the night together. showering together again, cooking together again, playing karaokes together again. and of course, he didn't slept on the couch. but in your warm embrace which he's sure he'll never leave.
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sofiawritesstuff · 4 months ago
Text
Apologise
pairing: oscar piastri x norris!reader
based on the most recent race day events
warnings: a little bit suggestive towards the end but nothing major, lando being an ass but he makes up for it
(I love Lando and Oscar both, this isn’t to make Lando look like a bad person)
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You knew it would somehow end up being tough at one point, although you didn’t realise how bad it was going to be.
Your brother and your boyfriend. The two most important men in your life, other than your father of course.
As teammates you would think it would be easier, but not when it was their own team that had created tension in the air.
Waiting in Oscar’s drivers room, your legs bounced with the thought wondering how on Earth you were going to support both of them.
The door flew open and Oscar stood with a proud smile, holding his P1 trophy in hand.
“I’m so proud of you baby” you smiled, opening your arms for him, you felt him sigh and he hugged you tightly, him nuzzling his head into your neck “Thank you” he mumbled against you.
“Is everything okay?” you asks pulling away from him “I’m happy, I really am but I think Lando is mad at me”
“Baby, Lando isn’t mad with you, he might be mad but he is mad with the team. Never you. It was team orders and he had to follow them. He’s probably just annoyed that he didn’t get another win, but he will come back and get another. Just like you will. Let’s go out for dinner tonight. We can celebrate!”
“I don’t know, it feels a little disrespectful to Lando”
“Oscar”
“Alright, sounds good. I’m going to get a shower before we leave. Maybe go check on Lando, he will want a little comfort right now”
“I’ll go see him now, call me when you’re ready” you kiss him gently before leaving, making your way along the hall to your brothers room.
Lando could get mad, yes. Just like anyone. But you knew today he was really mad. With the look on his face after the race. You knew you weren’t walking in to your cheerful brother.
You knocked the door before entering, you seen him throwing all of his stuff into his bag “Shouldn’t you be celebrating with your boyfriend?” he asks bitterly without glancing at you
“Lan-“
“No Y/N. I don’t want to hear it. Go away. Celebrate with the race winner”
You scoff causing him to look at you “Don’t you dare do that to me Lando, you know it was the team’s fault today. Not Oscars”
“Yeah take his side! I’ve been embarrassed enough today i don’t need a pity speech from my little sister. He probably waiting for you right now to go out and celebrate. Don’t worry I won’t tell him you were here!” he begins shouting
“Stop shouting at me! It was actually Oscar that told me to come talk to you. He feels guilty enough for what happened today he doesn’t need your bad attitude getting in the way either! If you’re going to blame anyone blame your stupid team and not my boyfriend”
“So you’re choosing your boyfriend over your brother? Okay”
“Stop twisting things! Have you actually lost your mind? Oscar did nothing wrong. He was hesitant on even going out tonight because he felt guilty towards you! Oscar looks up to you Lando, he’s done so much for you in races before. I’m done with this conversation. Come talk to me when you decide to be an adult and when you want to apologise to my boyfriend” you tell him, slamming the door behind you.
It was rare for you and Lando to have an argument, what made it even worse is you felt like you had to pick a side. Lando or Oscar. You knew what your brother was saying what out of anger, he would never actually mean disrespect towards his younger teammate.
But you couldn’t help but let the tears fall. It was a short lived argument, but also one of the worst you had ever had.
“Baby?” Oscar asks confused, popping his head out of the bathroom “What happened? Is everything okay?” he rushes over to comfort you, putting on him clothes while he does
“I’m okay, just a silly fight with Lando” you smile, wiping away your tears, he stops you holding both your hands with one hand and moving the other to your cheek, wiping the fresh tears “Let’s go back to hotel and go out for a nice meal”
“I’m not bothered about that right now, I’m bothered about you. It must have been a bad fight if you’re crying”
“This is your night Osc, let’s ignore everything else” you nod trying to stop the topic of conversation “Alright, I understand that you don’t want to talk about it right now but I hope we can when you’re ready, if it’s tonight or tomorrow. I hate seeing you cry”
“I’m sorry, I’m ruining your special moment”
“Hey, come on. You’re not ruining anything. Here’s a better idea. We will go back to the hotel, order room service and have a movie night with a bottle of champagne. Sounds like a perfect way to end this night of an eventful day”
“If that’s what you want”
“All I want is to spend time with my beautiful girlfriend. Come on” he stands up, taking your hand.
Leaving the paddock felt weird, usually you would have both McLaren drivers either side but tonight you only had one. But you had to remind yourself that this was Oscar’s night and nothing was going to ruin it for both of you.
He swayed your hands back and forth walking towards the hotel, he stopped for the few fans waiting close by for him, signing the notebooks and hats held out to him.
You smiled to yourself as everyone congratulated him, trying to ignore the sympathetic smiles a group of girls gave you as you waited.
As you got comfortable in your room and turned on a movie you heard a knock at the door, Oscar quickly got up to answer it
“I’ll get it, it will probably be room service” he kisses you, leaving the bed “Oh hi mate” you head Oscar stutter.
You knew the stutter, the same stutter that came from Oscar when Lando first found out that his teammate was dating his sister.
“Can I come in?” you hear Lando’s voice asks before the door closes. Oscar sits next to you on the bed while Lando stands at the end of it, playing with his fingers.
“I owe you an apology, both of you”
“Osc I’m sorry that I was rude to you earlier, I was so frustrated with the team and I took my anger out on someone which was wrong of me. I am disappointed with myself but I’m also really happy for you and I’m proud of you. It’s great points for the team and you”
“Thanks Lando, I appreciate the apology. I think we need to have a meeting with the team to discuss a better strategy so nothing like this happens again in the future”
Lando nods agreeing with him, before turning his eye contact to you “And to you, I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you, you were defending both of us and I took it the wrong way and I knew it. Thank you for being an amazing sister, I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for you”
“You’re so lucky that you’re my favourite” you smirk, getting up to hug him “I love you” Lando whispers “I love you too, even if you are Dad’s favourite”
“Thats false, you are definitely your Dad’s favourite” Oscar jokes “See! you are Dad’s favourite” Lando agrees “You’re his favourite! Remember when I was 13 and I got grounded for a week because you threw and egg at me and it hit Dad’s car? I got grounded for that because he didn’t think that you would ever do that”
“Or the time when we had your birthday dinner and you were feeding the cake to the dog and you blamed it on Lando later on in the day when the dog was pooping everywhere”
“Alright, I don’t need the two of you ganging up on me! Thank you for coming to apologise Lan”
“Yeah and all is forgiven” Oscar nods “Good to hear, are you guys staying in tonight?” Lando asks pointing at the TV
“Yep, a good night full of room service and sex!”
“Ew! That’s disgusting! Why am I related to you!” Lando rushes out the room
Laying in bed a few minutes later, you hear a second knock at the door. You pull away from Oscar’s kiss, storming to the door
“Lando I didn’t realise you wanted to send Oscar naked so bad-“ you stop once you realise it was not in fact your brother standing on the other side of the door, it was room service and a poor innocent old man now knew that your boyfriend was naked on the other side of the door
“Sorry” you apologise, pulling in the tray and closing the door.
You hear a loud laugh from the bed and you rush over jumping on him “It’s funny”
“Oh it is! You’re never living that down baby” he smirks, flipping himself on top of you.
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