#everything makes me feel weh

[ygodmyy20]

I had a one day (like 48 hours) trip to Vegas for work. First time in Vegas. Not gonna lie. I don’t want to come back.

[acoraxia]

I may have just found your art (is so freaking pretttttyyyyy) and your cotl AU but I now desperately need to know everything about the AU because it looks so. cool.

THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME INDULGE IN TALKING ABOUT MY LITTLE AU AHEM AHEM

I’m going to ramble now if that’s ok-

WARNING:: long and messy ramblings about AU ideas, headcanons and body horror/gore mentions up ahead

My Lamb’s story is actually pretty simple: they were born as Aluhé (ahl-weh) to a family filled with traveling performers. They traveled throughout the land of the Old Faith, worshipping the gods (especially Shamura) and performed to earn money to maintain themselves. Life was good up until rumors of the prophecy foretold by the Bishops spread towards the little hers; when Aluhé came of age they learned of said prophecy and that that was the reason why their family “settled down” in a (supposedly) hidden village.

Eventually, heretics arrive and they kill the herd safe for Aluhé and they escape, meet a flock of goats and Jahel (goat co-op character) and then run away due to guilt only to be captured by heretics and be introduced to the bishops.

After meeting Narinder and obtaining the crown, Aluhé refused to do anything in his name — refused to start a cult or touch the crown or anything… for months

they met Koi when they were planning to simply kill the Bishops bare handed and instead save her from being sacrificed (haha me too!). They don’t run the cult per say — mostly due to the fact they don’t want to get attached to anyone but they feel a strong sense of… protectiveness when it comes to the flock, going as far as appointing disciples to ensure the cult is safe and beating the life out of heretics that get a little too close for comfort to the cult grounds.

THE CROWN TAKES SUCH A MASSIVE TOLL ON ALUHÉ HOWEVER — apart from the fact that Aluhé is “easily corrupted” being fueled by a blind sense of justice towards the culling of their species over a family’s spat and a selfish fucker’s decisions, the crown latches on to their body and often does so when Aluhé has their guard down. This allows for certain changes to occur — the lack of hunger, exhaustion and ability to “morph” their body being a few of them.

It doesn’t help that Aluhé refuses to use the crown to fight unless absolutely necessary (because they hate dying because it means hearing Narinder talk and because they’ll end up angry all over again—) and often wears the crown around their neck.

This causes certain personality changes as well: Aluhé is typically quiet and docile when engaging with the flock if only a bit intimidating. They don’t talk to the followers unless necessary and only exchange actual conversation with their disciples. Since no follower is allowed to go on crusades with Aluhé they’re omitted from the fact their benevolent leader is in fact very, very, very, violent

They’d often consume heretics during their final moments or force feed their remains to the few that tried to get away (and failed) so they’d choke and die — a brutality that spread towards the bishops and their own disciples (Narinder still remembers how vile it was to see a meek little lamb get up and tear Barbatos to shreds, only to then use one of the worms’ teeth to sink it into Leshy’s flesh. Charming, really). This only strengthens when they kill Narinder and are eventually crowned the new god of death… among other things… and their body eventually adapts to the changes but it takes a toll on their mental health (

Their behavior, however, can be traced back to Shamura…

Since the two had a very interesting conversation before Aluhé was sent to be sacrificed:

Smh Aluhé you should be grateful to be blessed with the presence of the War Bishop tssk tsk

When the Bishops are killed and, eventually, brought back to life per the Mystic Seller’s request, Aluhé refuses to heal them or allow for their bodies to heal until they repent or make a pact with them to ensure obedience as they join their flock. Goes about as well as you can imagine

A big little change I made was that I made the Bishops Embodiments of their titles rather than just gods worshipped for it.

So Narinder is the Embodiment of Death, Leshy is the Embodiment of Chaos, etc. despite having somewhat mortal bodies they are still connected to their godhood and this will not change due to the fact that the world still needs gods in order to maintain balance — it also means that Aluhé is not just the god of death but the god of other things; it also means they have.. a union with Narinder, so to speak

The Gods have vessels for the sole purpose of their finding their replacements (because the gods will exist, even if they are not the same person they once were years ago) or to gain more worship and strengthen their power. When the Old Faith started getting greedy (coughs, Narinder) it was harder to find willing vessels or the right type of vessels to take on the task of bringing the Siblings more worship. It took years to find the proper candidates for Leshy or Kallamar (because the fucker was so PICKY /j) and it also caused a bit of horror to the siblings to see Aluhé reject the Red Crown as though it were simple

Aside from the Siblings being somewhat “dormant” and Narinder not being within the cult and Shamura traveling with Jahel… there’s a lot of silly little lore I managed to put into the four of them because I thought it’d be fun to explore the capability of Vessels and Gods and “War/Death Incarnate” as a whole — there’s a lot of story lore I don’t want to spoil but you can have these as a treat:

And thats it for now

[doozclops]

I didn't want to have to do this because it's so guilt-trippy but I'm not exaggerating when I say that each day I have to wonder if my shitty laptop is going to die before I can assemble my PC is doing permanent damage to my mental health.

This isn't just a "weh I'm spoiled and want a PC for gaming weh" kind of thing. I've been using this budget laptop for nearly 6 years now and it's been falling apart for half of that time. Every day I hold my breath hoping it will turn on, and I need it for literally everything I do. Both for my art and leisure. If it dies, I die. This is not an exaggeration. This is not 'tee hee I'm going to kill myself lmao'. Computer access is an essential and if I don't have it then I'm more fucked than I am now.

I need about $140 USD more to finally get everything. I am disabled. I cannot work. I've run out of my own personal items to sell to save up. The only way I can get this done is with help from other people. That means you, the one reading this.

I'm not going to bombard you with oppression keywords to make you feel morally right by even considering helping me. All I can do is say please. Please.

How you can help:

Tip me on Ko-fi

Buy something from my Ko-fi shop

Buy something from my INPRNT shop (though this will take 30+ days to receive the money)

Just reblogging isn't enough. I have not received any support from people viewing reblogs. Unless you've already helped me in the past, please consider sending money before reblogging. Even just a $3 'tip' is more than what I'm currently getting.

Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please.

[rayofmisfortune]

Hey so, I know literally nothing of how Rodimus gets the matrix or even if he does. But- I've read a few fics where he gets the matrix during the functionist (?) era and idk, something about how the writers make the story and progression flow rubs me the wrong way. So ofc I have to ramble about my own ideas

I don't know that much about how the political jargon works in idw or whatever the fics I've read use as a basis. Guessing it's idw. But one of these fics went about Rodimus stumbling upon the Matrix in like a weird ahh liminal space kinda way? I worded it wrong lmao but anyway after he got the Matrix he immediately goes to the senate. I- that part just.. I dunno, not vibing with that. Idk. but how I'd go about it is the Matrix appearing to him (vaguely, lmao idk how, the liminal space thing is kinda cool lmao) but the idea of the matrix just randomly spawning in his berthroom is higher on my list of matrix acquisition. It would be funnyyyyy. Also- I would be a lil fuck and make it huuuuurt, angst brain yada yada, screw me yea, anyway. Yea what would I make hurt? The whole "transforming into a prime" dealio. (People describe the process as "beautiful" and "amazing" and yea changing frame types doesn't appear to be painful but I'm me and I love putting characters in pain /aff) Rodimus gets to pass out as a treat 🫶 and have vivid hallucinations of the Primes. Would he believe anything that he's been told in said vivid hallucinations telling him he's the new Prime? Half n half lmao well at least until he woke up sprawled on the floor of his berthroom for some reason. (Does Rodimus get taller after getting the Matrix? Cuz, idk mates I'm not that knowledgeable kekw but if he did it would be hilarious to have him get up on too long limbs and have one of those "everything was moved slightly to the left" moments except everything is a little smaller/shorter than when he stumbled his way to berth last cycle)

... also I just like the idea of Rodimus hiding his newfound Primeness. Not going straight for the leadership, but realizing that something is very very wrong, why did the matrix come to him? What happened to the last Prime (Nominus???? I dunno who dat is, but peeps used his name as the last Prime in the fics I've read, weh). Coming to the realization "Oh frag, the senators murdered him." after being subjected to visions from the last Primes in his recharge. ... y'all this is just me trying to validate a Prime working from the shadows to overthrow the government. All the authors stressed that Rodimus was a lowercaste bot so- a Prime who was originally lowercaste would know how the system treated bots like him, right?

Or maybe going straight for the big man spot is something Rodimus would do and I just don't have that much of a grasp of his character. But honestly I don't see him as someone who enjoys any leader positions where he needs to be the responsible one. Hiding away and keeping a low profile, working from the shadows. I feel like becoming a Prime is more of a burden than a blessing for someone like Rodimus. Running from his problems 👍 Fake it till you make it as they say.

Also- like... The Senators introducing a new (fake) Prime on live broadcast across cybertron. The guy having this whole speech about how the Matrix had chosen them and how sorry they are for the fate of their predecessor and how grateful they are for this chance to make cybertron better. While Rodimus watches it on a billboard or hologram or whatever along with a few other bots and thinks "yea right, this guy's full of slag." Yea he ain't gonna be going to the Senators any time soon.

[wingedjellyfishflight]

Hogtied: Part 3

You stay busy for another week, finishing up exams and redacting most of König's file for him. Just in time, it seems, as you catch one of your nurses looking through it with a frown. The dressing down she receives is more than enough to deter others, but the cleaning rotation she gets for the next month ensures it won't happen again.

When the C140 lands again, it is complete madness, just as you were worried it would be. König has multiple large lacerations, Ghost has a through and through on the meaty part of his thigh, Gaz has a laceration on his head that won't stop bleeding and Soap, poor Soap. A broken leg, lacerations on his arm, and clear signs of torture.

You triage the men, passing Gaz off for stitches, sending Ghost to a nurse who previously worked in an ER and directing a set of nurses to tag team the lacerations on König, but only what he will allow. Any pushback means stop. You don't want to lose the trust you have built up in the short time he has worked with you. Turning to Soap, you work to stabilize him. Immobilizing his leg, you quickly stitch the worst of his wounds to stop the bleeding. With the help of a few nurses, you get good x-rays. Luckily, it is not a complex break, and you are able to set it with ease. He will need a hard cast once the swelling goes down.

The aftermath of torture is a harder thing to solve. You bandage his hands, slather burns in ointment, and inject an antibiotic. Gaz pulls you aside and tells you that he was also subject to waterboarding for a very short window of time before they rescued him. You nod, angry, but trying not to show it. You turn back and review all of Soap's injuries now that he is more stable, ensuring that you didn't miss anything. There doesn't appear to be anything else wrong with him, and you have him moved to a recovery room.

You make rounds, checking on the others as they rest. When you reach König's room, you note blood on his pillow and check over his chart. "Herzblatt, do you have an injury under your mask?" He turns to look at you.

"Ja, mein Kopf tut weh."

(Yes, my head hurts.)

"Let me grab a kit, and we will get it fixed up then." You do so, shutting the door on your way back to the bed. He slips off his mask, and you gasp, seeing the large cut across his face. "You should have mentioned this."

"I wanted you to fix, Schatz."

"Yes, Herzblatt, but I would have come to fix it sooner. Now hold still. I will have to numb you to stitch it. You may grip my shoulder if you need to." He hesitates, but as he sees you move closer with the needle, he wraps his fingers tight where you indicated. The way he grips it, you know you will have bruises later, but he doesn't flinch away. "Once it is numb, I will stitch inside to bring those layers together, then I will stitch the outside. You will tell me if you feel pain, yes? There is no reason to tough it out."

"Ja, already proved my mettle." You chuckle and lay out your supplies.

"Jetzt haben wir den Salat."

He chokes back a laugh at that. While his body is becoming numb, you check the rest of his lacerations and ensure the stitches look good. Returning to his face, you check to ensure he is ready, then work to stitch him up. It goes quickly, though you have to make a conscious effort not to look in his eyes.

(Now we have the salad, aka shit went sideways, and now we have a mess)

Just as you set down the needle and thread on your table, the door bursts open. Unthinking, you jump forward and use your body to cover König's face. "Unless someone is dying, get out!"

"Sorry, you've been in here a long time, and we were worried. Is everything alright?"

"I said, get the fuck out! You know the rules here, Lieutenant!" The door slams shut and you cautiously pull back, checking to make sure none of the stitches popped. König's face looks red as a tomato as he looks at you. "Let me finish bandaging this and you can put the mask back on, alright?" He stares at you saying nothing. "Uhh... sorry for that. I should have locked the door. And sorry for mashing your face with my... torso." You quickly place the bandages and hand him his mask.

"I'd prefer if you had a clean mask, but I don't have one handy. If you drop one by later, I can keep it on hand for you. Ghost keeps some here, the delicate princess. He refuses to wear hospital grubs if he can't wear the clothes he came in with."

"So, he is not... dating you?"

"Hmm... no. No, he and I are not dating. I'm half sure he is more interested in Soap than me, but I've been wrong before. Any roads, enough talk about our co-workers. Push the button here if you need assistance. I am going off the clock, but I will return if needed. Try to get some rest. I'm sure debriefing will be hell."

When you return the next morning, only Soap remains in recovery. The other men have left to debrief. You schedule an appointment for him with the therapist he doesn't hate and listen to him flirt with a nurse while you update files in your office. He quickly grows bored and insists that you sit and entertain him.

You acquiesce, deciding that a break is in order now that you've finished about half of your paperwork. He is chatting away about things he's done mostly. You usually try to deflect questions about yourself, but he is not deterred, sipping at his coffee while you enjoy your cuppa.

"Didja always wannae be a doc?" You shake your head.

"Got it twisted, mate. I never wanted to be a doctor. T'was my parents dream, not mine. I picked here to spite 'em."

He laughs hard. "You're a rebel. What didja wannae then?"

You stand suddenly, too flustered by his question. "Tea times over, fella. I've gottae get back to work." You pause in the doorway, leaning back in and looking into his eyes as you debate with yourself. "I wanted a job like yours." He looks stunned, then a bit sad.

"Ye woulda been a belter, lass." You smile sadly and walk back to your office. It takes forever for you to get any work done. You make sure to sign off on his release so Soap can leave when he is ready.

You look up at a knock on your door some time later. "Enter"

"Doc, you're still here? I was just checking in here since the light was on. It's already after 2100."

"Oh, shit. I completely lost track of time. Just have to finish this, and I will head out."

"Alright, see you tomorrow then."

It's after 2200 when you do head out, and you quickly realize that you are starving, not having had much more than snacks since breakfast. The mess is closed this late, so you head to the kitchen. Digging through the fridge, you hear a noise behind you, but don't see anything when you look around the darkened room. Shrugging it off, you dig some more before grabbing leftovers with Ghost's name on them. You're disappointed to see that they've gone off and toss them in the bin before looking again.

You finally find some leftovers that aren't bad with Captain Price written in capital letters with an underline on the box. It's butter chicken over rice, and you've honestly never been so excited for it. Waiting for it to heat, you hear the sound again. You turn and realize that there are two men across the room watching you. Through squinted eyes, you see that it is Captain Price and Gaz having tea together. Whipping back around nervously, your fingers tap on the counter, waiting forever, it seems for the microwave to ding.

Just before it does, you hear, "Butter chicken. My favorite," in your ear, and you nearly jump out of your skin.

"S-sorry, Captain. I missed lunch and dinner. I'll order some fresh tomorrow to make up for it. Please."

"I'm just teasin ya, doll. Eat up. You know we never remember to eat our leftovers." He winks and walks off, catching up to Gaz.

[kieuecaprie]

On a whim, I decided to play on a different fork of Space Station 14 after a particularly rough round on Salamander (It's been getting highpop lately so it's been pure chaos and it's hard to keep in character as Adalite, a skittish and sweet reptilian, when so many bad things are happening.).

After hearing a good first impression of it from a friend, I chose to play on the Delta-V server and ported Adalite over to get my hours in.

First shift was a latejoin as a janitor, pretty much was uneventful, I just wanted to hop on to get myself situated with the community. And because I could not play Janitor on WizDen, lmao, that role is about as hard to get into as AI is right now.

Second shift was extended and I wrote up a greentext-like story to explain what happened. Feel free to click the read more:

> Be me, Adalite Tosimizu, Janitor aboard the station Lighthouse in the Delta-V sector > Just an average shift, clean stuff up, pick stuff up, dump it > Recycler windows kept breaking. Adalite's knowledge of building comes in handy and a reinforced window is created > Befriend a clown who fell into disposals (They were later called out by CC for not being clown-y enough) > Head to Epi to deal with a spill that cannot be cleaned with water. > It's potassium 💀 > I use a cleanade after failing and everything is a-okay! 👍 > I crit 💀 > Get taken to medical by the Mystagogue > It was just radiation > Okay, everything is good again! 😄 > Take a break to play Vamo Alla Flamenco on the guitar that was left lying around. > Vibe for a moment until… > Be… me? Adalite? Huh? ❓❓❓ > Confusion abound as both Adalites check each other out. > Turns out the paradox anomaly is just as confused as I am. > We immediately hit it off! 😀 > Do an impromptu team-building exercise with the slime coming out of the vents. > Holy shit, my clone is so nice! > Continue as normal, just now there's another me, I guess. She seems chill, so… > An explosion happens in north-west maints... 💥 > Decide to foolishly go investigate. Bad idea. > Nearly crit myself again, scrambling to escape maints with an emergency crowbar. 😰 > Comms light up. It's Nukies. 😰😰😰 > Head to bar to hole up for a while, meet my clone again. > Explain to her what happened, break down crying from nearly dying again. She consoles Adalite. 🤗🤗 > Everything appears to be normal again, lone-op got got, so it's just a little messing around with the new speed boots Epi made for everyone! (They had 20) > It's evac time. Shuttle was not recalled. > Head to the shuttle with Adalite and sit down. > Shorkie got captured in the chaos 😭🦈 > Make it to CentComm with Adalite and head for the bar for some peace and quiet. > We chat for a little bit before I realize I lost my blue shork in the chaos. 😔 > She gives up her pink shork and we end the round hitting each other with our own Weh-Wehs. > tmw it was an admin who was playing Adalite's paradox anom this entire time.

>Be me, KieueCaprie, sitting in lobby lamenting how scary and cool the paradox anom was. >See this in OOC:

😭

For the uninitiated, Paradox Anomaly is a midround ghost role exclusively on Delta-V which makes a complete clone of a random crew member. Your goal is simple: * Befriend yourself and make sure they get out alive * Kill and replace yourself from the universe you found yourself in. * Make it back to Central Command alive and unrestrained.

SIKE! It's not simple! You cannot greentext as a Paradox Anomaly! You basically get a choice of RP branches. It's pretty cool and to see it be used on me in my second shift on Delta V was both scary and cool, and heartwarming when it turned out the paradox anomaly was really sweet, just like Adalite.

Maybe I'll check out the other forks too someday but having a good first experience in Delta V is really something. Think there's RMC14 and Frontier I'd like to check out.

[lcs-library]

(i really love your writing, so im very excited to see that requests are open! also, do you write the menus yourself? if so, thats so cool!! i love the aesthetic so much)

could i ask for an apple danish with tsumugi? and off of the normal menu, a black tea as well (still w tsumu), please. there's so many i wanna request lol, thanks in advance <3

AWAWAWAWA TY GOMPY I'M SO PLEASED EHEHE.... And yes! I write the menus myself, but the images and stuff I use are usually from @.saradika-graphics. That said I can assure you I spent a good two hours poring over a bunch of barista blogs and reddit threads to come up with the new menu and try to think up prompts www... Anyway! Please enjoy!!

Request rules | Cafe menu | Autumn menu

Apple Danish: They bring you/their s/o/their friend to an orchard! How does it go? 

🥚I think Tsumu would have a great time in an orchard! 

🥚He’d be so happy to be surrounded by all the pretty trees, calmly picking apples with you.

🥚“Do you think this one’s good? It’s a bit on the small side, though… but it’s cute. You think so, too? Let’s take it home, then!”

🥚He’s no Omi, but he seems like the type of guy who knows exactly what to look for when it comes to fruit, and every single thing he picks tastes incredible. 

🥚He’s also def the kind of guy who just takes leaves and rubs them between his fingers because Texture. When he thinks you’re not looking, he’ll be caressing the branch and rubbing the leaves as he loses himself in thought. 

🥚“Hm? Ah, I didn’t realize you were there! Sorry, I should be holding your hand, not the tree’s, right? …There we go. Is that better?”

🥚The next day, his phone’s camera roll is filled to the brim with a bunch of blurry photos of you wwww

🥚“Even if they don’t look the best, you have to admit, the blurred colors look nice together, right? We can call it abstract art.” 

Black Tea: How do they comfort their s/o?

🥚When you’re feeling down, I promise Tsumu knew how you felt ten seconds before you did, and is already by your side. 

🥚“Dear, did something happen, are you alrigh- Oh. Come here, sit by me.”

🥚He’s the perfect gentleman, too. 

🥚You want space? He’ll give you space, but not without making you a cup of tea first.

🥚You want a hug? He’s so gentle with you, as if you’ll shatter to pieces if he squeezes too hard.

🥚You’re not sure what you need? That’s alright, you can take your time, he’ll happily sit by your side and rub your back until you’re ready to talk again. 

🥚Once you are, he’ll gently guide you through your feelings, and help you cope(he’s not letting that psychology degree go to waste).

🥚“Will you tell me what happened, please? I promise I won’t laugh, and I definitely won’t be mad at you. I’m here to help, remember? We can do this together.”

🥚And of course, after everything’s over, and you’re calm at the very least, he’ll take his hand in yours, and give it a brief kiss before squeezing it tight.

🥚“I’m proud of you, dear. Never forget that, okay?”

🥚Weh……… the sweetie pie<3

[necromancy-enthusiast]

Replayed Mouthwashing and I don't recall seeing anyone talk about how Jimmy hates himself (which is deserved in his case, lol) and redirects it through his resentment towards Curly because ironically, sometimes people's self-hatred manifests as lashing out at others. He's put Curly up on a pedestal despite how his life isn't all rainbows and sunshine either, since he mentions to Jimmy that he feels the need to constantly escape from it.

Jimmy takes just about everything Curly says in regards to that the wrong way because he's projecting his opinion of himself onto Curly and inventing words to read between the lines as a result, because if *I* think I'm a loser, Curly must think so too, and he's telling me that in a subtle, passive-aggressive way. It's easy to see that as Jimmy misinterpreting it in bad faith to make up an excuse just to be an asshole or to give his resentment more substance, but I think he genuinely believes that's what Curly thinks and doesn't realize how much he's doing in terms of mental gymnastics. He doesn't exactly strike me as the kind of guy with enough emotional intelligence to recognize that in himself.

Just to be clear since this is the piss on the poor reading comprehension website, this isn't a 'weh poor Jimmy he's so misunderstood, he's my little wooby :(' post, it's a 'despite what some people think, Jimmy does in fact operate on a sense of internal logic that can be reconstructed to give context to his behavior, even though that logic is deeply flawed and may be hard to wrap your mind around if you haven't been stuck in a pit of self-loathing and experienced for yourself how it can fuck with your head' post.

[verysmallcyborg]

Fornax has gotta be one of the most striking and recognizable WoL's I've seen around, and you can tell just how much love is poured into all of their details and appearance. Both in your gposes and art! I don't think I've ever seen another Au Roe before, but I feel that Fornax has such a good balance of features from both races, and everything meshes together flawlessly.

She also gives me mad gender envy, not to mention that her and Ryssrael's love is the highlight of my day whenever I see them. Thank you for sharing your Fornax enthusiasm with us. <3

hi anon i hope you know i teared up over this last night. several times. and was very tempted to keep this tucked away in my inbox (but i'll settle on keeping a screenshot of it instead)

thank YOU for enjoying fornax ;__; they mean everything to me and has been a huge help in learning to love and accept myself more, and living vicariously through them. both them and ryss have been a HUGE creative outlet for me ever since i put a different oc on the backburner (sorry sezuk..... waugh...) and i love creating for one or both of them!!! i love making things that make me happy and sharing them!!!!

fornax has had a bunch of big changes over 2-ish years - lore, backstory, personality, and appearance wise, and she's reached a point where it feels like everything about her feels right, y'know...! like when i look back at older art & gposes and compare them to now w/ how fornax currently looks, idk they just look a lot more happier and like themself, if that makes sense (plus if they can survive the Horrors, then i too, will survive the horrors. i need a Do It For Her board)

anyways. thank you anon for the kind words WEH.......! fornax is of course For Me first and foremost, but i'm always happy when other's enjoy them and their design and lore...! i'm glad you also enjoy them and ryss' love, bc their love also means everything. to me :')

[typingatlightspeed]

Okay forgive me for being sappy here but I still can’t believe how lucky I was to be into tf2 now instead of like four years ago. Imagine coming across this awesome series and when you reach the bottom it just. Stops. It stopped and ended with red demo and blu Solly only sort of making up and the rest of the gang are just gone and you’ll never know what happened to them. And you leave the fandom eventually and wouldn’t ever know that BANG six years later you come back with vacation all I ever wanted and everything’s back again, you get to see these characters again and write and head canon and think up scenarios in bed for them again. And I didn’t even have to go through the six “weh this series is dead” years.

So yeah. I’m lucky I think

I felt like such a villain for years because of this, no longer able to write and screaming into the void about it. I lost my sex drive, my passion, and myself, all because of a cluster of unusual side effects of my medication (methylphenidate HCL, aka ritalin), which because they were such unusual side effects (literally the polar opposite of every common side effect) my doctor thought were hormonal issues related to my birth control for YEARS. Constant retooling and dialing in of those meds and completely ignoring that my ritalin was barely doing what it was supposed to do and doing everything to give me literal dysphoria because I was no longer the person I had been my entire fucking life. It was affecting my marriage a lot, too, making my husband doubt my attraction to him. It was hell.

When a friend of mine posted her experience starting ADHD meds after 40, and described how dramatic it was, like flicking a switch, I realized that my meds were not doing what they were supposed to do. So I talked to my doctor and suggested I go off of them, see where I'm at, and maybe try a different med from there. She was like hell yeah make sure you have a day or two off of work in case you feel like dogshit when you go off (I did lol). Two days later I wrote Ain't Seen Nothin' Yeti. The first fiction piece I'd written in six fucking years. I did a lot of crying.

I've rebounded so much, (a bit more than I was before in ways that make my husband very secure in his attractiveness lmao) and I've decided not to bother trying more meds. At least not right now. And since then it's been an explosion of the stories I've wanted to write for years but couldn't, and it feels so good.

The big thing is, though, during those years I stopped checking Ao3, because I felt so guilty that I was sure there were going to be bitter messages asking where I'd gone, why I hadn't updated, or worse, anger over it. So I didn't look. After I put out Ain't Seen Nothin' Yeti, I worked up my courage and checked my Ao3 inbox.

It was an outpouring of love, joy, laughter, and yes lamentations that there isn't more, that it stopped, but no anger, no bitterness, no blame, just oh man I hope someday there's more I love this so much.

And that meant the world to me. I did a lot of crying.

So yeah, you did get lucky. And so did I; that I could come back and keep writing and keep telling these stories. <3 I just hope that anyone who loved thes stories can find out that I'm back.

[ianthesmells]

like i KNOW i need to move on and dear lord i am TRYING i take several mood stabilizers and im looking for a psychiatrist and i keep productive and hang out with good friends but the sadness just never goes away. how could she do that to me? does she care at all? does she even feel like she was wrong? does she look down at her stupid leg scar she traumatized the both of us with and feel guilty that she treated me how she did? or does she still bitch and whine that “im being mean” because im finally admitting she was abusive? she was abusive to me and she was abusive to herself and i guess ignoring me makes it easier to ignore all of that in general. why be better when you can do what’s easy? i’m trying to move on and it’s hard, and i’m sure she’s treating our breakup like ‘wiwiwi i tried to break up with my shitty girlfriend and she won’t let me go and be happy weh weh weh’ like as if she didnt abandon me when i needed her and also cancelled a trip i paid $450 for out of nowhere and didn’t pay me back because everything’s always my fault and she never does anything wrong and she’s weh weh autistic so she shouldnt have to be nice to people or be considerate or do things that are hard or have to concede to people or weh weh weh why should i have to pay back my ex for a trip she paid for when she earns money herself from a job that was killing her and i get a disability check every month for being autistic and i blow it all on sex toys and mcdonalds weh weh weh. she probably sits and thinks about what i said only so she can feel like im attacking her and im mean and she shouldnt have to listen or consider what ive said because it hurt her feelings. she thinks shes being put on blast but i barely delve into the bullshit she does and when i actually tell people theyre horrified and disgusted and shocked i’d put up with so much. i never called her abusive til everyone in my life started saying she was, and i realized, huh, maybe normal relationships wont require me to suppress every feeling i have because my partner hates when i am an inconvenience. which is fucking crazy because she does literally nothing all day but jerk off and play the sims and watch mediocre television, god forbid she have to put all that on pause so she can text me a ‘good morning’ or ask me how i’m doing. she’s a fucking deadbeat and i’ve got no respect for her total lack of ambition and contentness in being mediocre and using everyone in her life and never feeling the need to give back other than whining about how she Should Be but doesnt. what a fucking loser. and despite it all i still miss her but shes going to be miserable once her family is no longer around to financially support her and all the things ive said that she ignored come back to bite her in the ass and i truly hope she learns and changes before then because she wont have anyone to abandon and drop all the blame on this time.

[dickarchivist]

Hello dear Archivist! 

I’m quickly falling in love with your boys, and I love everything you’ve written for Ghost & Banshee 💜 But after reading your NSFW ALPHABET post for the squad, I can’t stop thinking about Specter…  

If you’re feeling up for it, I’d love to request a little fic for him (SFW or NSFW… which ever feels right 🥰)

Since he seems a bit more guarded than his brothers, what would falling in love look like for him? You mentioned he loves photography & is known for taking pictures of everything, so would his artistic hobbies be influenced by the person he’s falling for? Would he know right away, or would the feelings sneak up on him? 

Thank you 💜 (@wings-and-beskar)

Vermillion

Clone oc Specter x fem!Reader

Word Count: 1305

Prompt: How does Specter fall in love?

Rating: PG-14 for swearing, but minors DNI as always 🔞

Contents and Warnings: swearing, Specter being broody and jealous, a break up (not with Specs), laughing, being silly together, passionate kiss, split lip (not graphic)

Summary: Specter's in love with you, every little bit. He'd do anything for you, say the word... but he wants to make sure you're not going to break his heart.

Author's Notes: Specter's POV!!!! He's so rude, I love him!!

Thanks to @wings-and-beskar for being so patient on this one!! You are a kindness unto my life♡

This one is left open ended on purpose, I'm thinking about writing a sequel so we shall see 👀

This fic doesn't hit on everything asked I'm so sorry weh. But!! I do feel like it answers the question "How does Specter fall in love?" On purpose.

Look at you. Hair's all messy, but I know you styled it that way. You make that stuffy GAR uniform look good, even sexy with how it hugs your curves. I'm glad you never wear that dumb little hat, I think it'd ruin your look... or maybe it'd just make you so tantalizing that I wouldn't be able to help myself. I click a few pictures of you, and I hope you don't mind or notice, but just...

Fuck you. Fuck you just standing there, chewing your stylus, looking down at your data pad with a scrunched brow and squinted eyes. Like it's the most important thing in the world, whatever's on there. We're supposed to be together right now, you called me. You asked me to tail it down here to keep you company and of course I did. I'd do anything you kriffin' ask. I want you lookin' at me so focused. Lookin' at me like I'm more important. What does it have that's keeping your attention so-- holy shit.

"OH FUCK OFF!!!!" You fling that stupid pad so hard and so far it shatters on impact when it hits your wall, and I can't stop myself from laughing. "SPECTER SHUT IT!!"

"What the kriff was on there that made you so mad? You were laser focus unti-- hey. Hey what's wrong? Why the tears?" I close my camera and come over so fast I can't blame you for jumping back. Didn't mean to come on so hard, I'd say sorry but your arms are around my waist so quick my words just leave my head.

"My boyfriend just dumped me, over a text..." my anger overthrows my joy.

"I was hoping so hard that you'd leave him, not for that skug to dump you and not even in person. I'll kill him. I could do it. It wouldn't even be that hard, I'm trained, he's a kriffing bar tender and not even a good one. Half his shit is just water and food color, I hate him so much, he was never any good to you... why are you crying harder? Shit shit shit, how do I make it better, shit-- no- oh... oh you're laughing! Why are you laughing?"

"Specs, you know you're talking out loud, right?"

My face in on FIRE. "Uh-- nope. Fuck... forget I said that, yeah?"

"Not a chance," You're smiling... maker I adore that smile. I move my hands to your face and brush my thumbs over your cheeks, "Specter, do you really feel like that?"

I look away from you, my eyebrows raised, a tall frown on my lips as if to shrug them, "I mean... yeah? That smug son of a--" I catch my temper, and sigh, arms around your shoulders again, "He wasn't good for you. Been sayin' that from the get, but did you listen? Nooooooo," You're laughing more, so I keep it up. I mimic your voice, very poorly, "Oh Specs! He's soooo dreamy!"

"Oh knock it off, I don't sound like that!" You push me, making me stagger a little, your cheeks red from laughing. Maker that laugh, I love it so much.

"Specs, he's so beautiful! He says he's in a band! Oh I can't wait to have his babies!"

"SPECTER! MY SIDES, PLEASE!" You're laughing so hard those tears down your cheeks aren't sad anymore, and I'm over the moons about that.

I put my arm around your shoulders, giving you a little shake and a squeeze, my voice back to my own, "I mean it, though... say the word and he'll disappear. Or say another word, and he'll turn into a toad. You know, like he already is."

I love it when you laugh so hard you snort. I know you hate it, you always apologize and cover your face. But I love it. Even Phantom can't get you to laugh like that... "Specs what're you smiling at me like that for?"

It's my turn to laugh. I chuckle a little, give you another squeeze, "What? I can't enjoy you laughing without getting the 3rd degree?"

You roll your eyes, knocking into me harder and giving me a tight squeeze of a hug. I'm all too happy to return it. "Thanks Specs, I don't know what I'd do without a good man like you by my side."

"You'd be a lot more sad over losers who don't deserve your tears, that's for sure," you don't have any idea what I'd do for you, how much you mean to me... how much I love you...

"Specter, new orders from the council. We're headed out in 15, get your ass over here." Ghost doesn't sound to pleased from the way his voice barks from the commlink.

I groan, roll my eyes with my whole body just to get you to giggle again, and then lift the comm, "I'm in the lower levels, it'll take more than 15 minutes."

"Then you'd better hurry."

Ghost's been a hard ass lately, but I can't blame him, I've been blowing him off to spend time with you. Who needs extra training? Not an ARC trooper... probably. Might have to be better about that...

Since I know I'll be late anyway, I take my time finding my boots in your flat. I know where they are, you know I know, but we still take the time to "look". Before I'm out the door, I hold your cheek again, "He didn't deserve you, you know that, right?"

"Yeah... sorry for being so distracted today, make it up to you next time?" When you bite your lip like that, do you have any idea what it does to me?

I don't know if there's gonna be a next time. I think that's why I keep blowing off drills, because I want you, not a war. I want life, with you, always, infinitely more than running laps and fire practice... I lean forward and press my lips to your forehead, taking a deep breath, just to remember you by.

Just in case.

"Next time, I'm asking you out. Don't go falling for anymore shitty bar tenders, okay? If I'm getting one up'd, he'd gotta have quality, and-" Oh fuck me.

I hold you up as you jump onto me. My arms go under your legs and up your back as your lips crash into mine, our teeth knocking together. You split my lip, it stings, but getting to taste your chapstick is more than reward enough.

"Why'd-- mmm-- why'd you--" I can't get a word in, your kisses are feverish in their quickness, I don't want to stop, but-- but it's not right. It's not for me. It's to drown your sorrow and I can't be that for you, I don't want to be, "Stop."

I set you down gentle, you look so dejected, darlin' you're breaking my heart... "You mean the galaxy to me, you know that? But I can't... I won't be your rebound. I'm not going to be a one and done for you, got that? So when I get back, I'm askin' you on a date. I-- fuck this, I love you, I want you to love me too, so just... process, get over that idiot, and then wear red for me when I'm back so I know it's okay..."

Oh maker you're angry- no? That's- okay not crying, not confused I know your confused face... what the hell are you thinking right now? "I don't own anything red... I um... I'll get something, do you have a preference?"

My eyes soften, and yours do too, and I know... I know I won't have to wait, but I do anyway. I want to make sure you love me back... I can't be your rebound. I need to be your last.

"Vermillion is my favorite."

×××××××××××××

Taglist: @anxiouspineapple99 @wolffegirlsunite @wizardofrozz @eclec-tech @dystopicjumpsuit @clonethirstingisreal @wings-and-beskar @sunshinesdaydream @multi-fan-dom-madness @starrylothcat @n0vqni @sev-on-kamino @mythical-illustrator @523rdrebel @littlemissmanga

[dafpork]

22 and 25 for the otp asks? :>

LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! STANDARD "THIS IS GONNA BE LONG" DISCLAIMER

Love languages? How do they get around differences, if any?

SO I CROSSED WIRES A BIT i listed some love language stuff in the second answer which i typed up first, so APOLOGIES FOR REPEATING MYSELF IF THAT'S THE CASE! i think Daffy's love languages for Porky are horseplaying and cracking jokes and just being a big goofball--i think if Porky's upset about something, Daffy isn't necessarily the type to be like "tell me what's wrong and we'll talk through x y z". he can occasionally! he'll listen in his own way! but his usual default is to crack a joke or make some sort of display out of himself that he knows will divert Porky's attention. disarm him with a wisecrack--and Porky appreciates this every time. LOOK! FIC SNIPPETS! hopefully this illustrates what i mean tho

another Daffy love language i think is just sort of encouraging Porky to treat himself, indulge, enjoy and take pride in his work, be "selfish" (in that, if you go to a screening of your own cartoon, you don't have to stare at the floor the entire time and deliberately avoid looking at yourself on screen! revolutionary as it is, you can watch and enjoy yourself!) and so forth.

PORKY i go into a bit below, but his love languages for Daffy are more "stereotypical" in cooking food for him, waiting up for him, attending rehearsals and filmings of his cartoons regardless of whether he's in them or not (and Daffy would do the same), making sure he's dressed warmly or straightening a stray feather out of place, etc. making coffee if Daffy has to stay up churning out a script (and then playfully chiding him and telling him not to stay up too late). he is definitely more traditionally doting, and very often without even realizing.

AND THE DIFFERENCES THING.. i mean, as we all know, they both have their many differences!! that's why they love each other! i don't think it's an "in spite of" thing but rather, "because of". i imagine both of them begin to adopt some of the other's behaviors the closer they get. Daffy gets more of a sensitive side to him, Porky a little more rambunctious/mischievous. i don't think they're a "oh you got me x but i'm more of a y person", at least as far as love language goes. Porky wouldn't want Daffy to act like a clone of himself and vice versa. their drastic differences are why they're so hooked on each other to begin with, especially in learning that they actually share quite a lot in common

(a lil sappy, but..) What do they like about each other?

BRING ON THE SAP! oh man oh man okay. SO. i've mentioned it before but essentially, my interpretation of these two can be boiled down to this image. except that it would be two Lucys saying this to each other. BUT, to get into some specifics..

Daffy: one of the biggest things i think Daffy likes about Porky is how funny he is, and by "funny", i mean just... himself. Daffy thinks everything Porky does is hilarious. the way he'll mutter to himself under his breath, or when you can tell he's thinking really hard on something, how he can be so oblivious to certain things, what he chooses to preoccupy himself with, little habits that Porky would never notice such as how he, say, adjusts his jacket every time he answers a door or adjusts his bow tie when he's pleased with himself, etc. everything about Porky absolutely entertains the hell out of him and i think he loves loves loves these little tics and habits and mundanities. sometimes he'll point them out because he likes to watch Porky get all flustered and stubborn and argue "i-i eh-weh-wee-ehh-wasn't doin' nothin' >:(", but most times he leaves it be because he likes to watch the moment uninterrupted.

Porky's naturally doting nature is definitely one of the biggest points of admiration and love, too. Porky has definitely found a way to Daffy's love through his stomach, as Daffy is both a big eater (i always bring this up and feel like it may not make sense without context, but maybe, knowing Daffy, it does? but like 80% of the stories in the Dell run of comics are about Daffy raiding Elmer's house for food or trying to find some job or thing to do for food. there are multiple shorts dedicated to this as well. he is a grade A mooch) and i like to imagine that Porky is an excellent cook (one of the only takeaways from TLTS i do keep in mind), and so there is genuinely nothing like a hot home cooked meal from Porky. Porky puts the home in home cooking.

i don't know if this is something Daffy would say outright, but i think he is cognizant of how Porky grounds him. gives him a reason to slow down, to make an effort to keep his impulses at bay, to give him someone or something to focus on. this likewise may apply back to the very first point i listed for this, but i think Daffy would be really taken with Porky's honesty and bluntness. in spite of his stubborn and idiosyncratic ways, he's a good listener and brings a necessary sensitivity i think Daffy in particular would really respond to. maybe because it's not as much in Daffy's nature to be up front in that department--he's certainly genuine and not "dishonest" with Porky, but, realistically, he's not gonna sit down and be like "i'm glad you said x because it made me feel y way". and i mean, neither would Porky (who is even less inclined to, probably!) BUT HOPEFULLY THIS MAKES SENSE!

TLDR, Daffy sees what Porky doesn't see in himself. things that are instinctual, second nature to Porky are important/worth noting to Daffy, whether that be a particular way he wrinkles his snout or preparing a hot home cooked meal every day, or how Porky will still sit at the breakfast table long after the food has cooled after Daffy oversleeps and won't even begin to eat his food or even get out of his seat until Daffy is there. to Porky this is just "what people do", but in my headcanon for these two Daffy did not always have access to such warmth and generosity and would not take it for granted. i genuinely think Porky teaches him what it means to be loved and cared for in these utmost menialities, and Daffy both knows how lucky he is and doesn't at all

Porky: OH MAN LET'S SEE... if Porky grounds Daffy and gives him an anchor and feeling of security and homeliness, i think one of the most valuable assets Daffy poses to Porky is bringing him out of his shell. encouraging him to take risks, showing him how he can live rather than just merely survive, allowing him to indulge and enjoy the little pleasures in life. i think Porky is definitely the more sentimental of the two and more to appreciate stuff like "the way Daffy's hair looks when he sleeps on it wrong" or "the sound of his voice when he laughs (or just in general)" or "that little glint in his eye he's always got and how it glows when he has an idea or is trying to rile someone up", etc. i don't think these are the most important "priorities" per se, but Porky is definitely very sensitive of those things and very very very fascinated and taken in by them and they're worth mentioning

he loves Daffy's enthusiasm and exuberance, his fearlessness, how utterly charming and sociable he is with people, how inventive and creative he is without even seeming to try. he loves when Daffy gets into a mischievous mood and how he can see that boiling, and i think he would especially treasure the moments where Daffy is a little more sensitive/intimate/caring with him because it's such a contrast to his usual self. i think Porky is always Porky, pretty much no matter the scenario--Daffy is always Daffy, too, but he exists on a broader spectrum, he has a sliding scale of 0 to 100 and so Porky certainly appreciates seeing this big, crazy, loud, social showman be so candid and caring with him when they're just in each other's company.

they are both such extreme opposites and i think, also, have many more similarities than most people recognize. and Porky is able to admire both of these. i think especially the opposite part--he would appreciate having someone to balance him out and who will approach things differently than him. there is always something worth discovering, some solution worth finding, some new novelty to be had with Daffy and i think Porky would so appreciate that. i once wrote something where Porky said he likes how Daffy makes him feel both like the king of the world and a "nobody" (his words, code for "just a regular person", aka he doesn't see him as just some celebrity or public face) at the same time, and i think he would really deeply value that.

THANK YOU FOR THE ASKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK i know there's a lot of words here but omggggggg thank you for giving me a chance to blab :)

[ludwigslovebug]

🎀🧺💌 for the soft f/o ask game

(Love your blog btw. Everything’s sooo cool 😮😎)

WAHHH THANK YOU!!! I try my best to make my blog prettyy uehjee.... YAY♡!!!

💌 has already been answered here!!♡

🧺 ⊹₊ ⋆ STOP I LOVE JELLYCATS!!! i do not have any except for the frog one. I would like to get the eggplant one for my eggplant collection (dont judge me!! theyre so fun-shaped and colored!!! when my mom used to buy them i used to carry it around the house like a baby) and maybe a crab one if they have one... If I could describe Ludwig with a jellycat, it would probablyyyyy be either of these!!!

i enjoy broccoli as both a concept and in my tummy. i also like that he is grumpy like the cloud but i make him happy. YAY

🎀 ⊹₊ ⋆ We enjoy many hobbies together!!! Actually I think I will let him answer this. . . Hehe!!! Hello }:•} ! Cicada and I love to do many things. We enjoy walks in the garden together, playing games... I enjoy going with him to look at bugs. I stay far away from the bugs. They terrify me. Wuss!!! Hush, you. I also like to watch him scrapbook and journal and paint... He has been teaching me how to draw, which is nice. I like listening to him talk... I consider that a hobby. He is nice to listen to, if you let him speak... We combine our musical talents on occasion. I play, he sings... though I wish he'd sing more often. He has such a wonderful voice. Ok, wrap it up you ///,,, Now you're just gushing. I said hush. I like to write with him, though he gets too shy about writing with me in the room after five minutes pass.. so he watches me write instead. I don't understand that- his writing is very good... Oh! We bake together. I am getting better at baking. We typically bake separate things considering how much of a control freak he is in the kitchen. Hey!! You're no better!!! Ha ha. I joke. We are both kitchen dictators. I feel like our hobbies are just parallel playing with each other.,. Is that necessarily a bad thing? Well, no, but,. weh. Are you upset at me for not doing hobby stuff with you more? Cicada, I think just breathing in the same room as you could satiate my desires. I am perfectly fine parallel playing with you. /// Wauuh... okie ,,..

. ,,.. Can you scrapbook with me more?

Of course I can. Only if you duet with me more. YAY!!!

🎀💌🧺⊹₊ ⋆𖦹

[lovinggreeniehours]

❤️: Talk about a moment when your (F/O) wordlessly reminded you of how much they love you.

😍: Talk about a moment when (F/O) couldn’t keep their eyes off of you.

I'd like to know about op13 but if you want to talk about anyone else go for it!!

OP13 YAY :D YAYYYYY im happy it's thursday today so we have literally nothing to study for tomorrow and i can finally do fun things for this week jfdgjgdgh OKAY so

❤️: oh my goddd,,,,,,, *malfunctions* HDSHFSGJ i had to THINK about this one honestly 😭 hmm. i think one thing (this reflects on both of them but fiiine ill just talk about optimus for this one) that's really prominent in their relationship is the acts of service aspect. these two will drop EVERYTHING they're doing if the other needs something

thirteen will offhandedly mention something about traffic? "im opening the ground bridge right now. send me your coordinates" thirteen ran out of snacks at base? optimus WILL go to the grocery store. weather is cold? thirteen gets cold easily. he may not have a jacket, but. engine. engine warm. he's going to pick up the little human and hold him near it until he stops shivering. thirteen will complain about Anything At All even a little bit and optimus will try to fix it. and it's just. it's very 🥹 i like him,,,,,

sniffles. i feel a little bad sometimes that he goes out of his way for literally everything but. it's just really sweet. hhh. he's so boyfriend okay,,,,,,,,, he's so nice to me for what 🥹🥹🥹🥹 why does he do that,,,,, he's so weird🥹

😍: okay ngl. this is. kind of all the time 😭 thinking about it too hard makes me malfunction but there's an entire gag where every time thirteen enters the room, optimus turns his head to look at him and EVERYONE SEES HIM DOING IT. like he doesn't do it on purpose or just. to be shameless. i promise hdshgdh 😭 he just. has alarm bells in his head that sound off when thirteen is within range /hj he mentally just goes "oh! thirteen! :) there he is"

the kids and most of the bots find it hilarious. ratchet wants to smack him sometimes for getting distracted but alas. it does not stop jfdjjfdghj

the first time thirteen noticed it was so cute because he wasn't entirely aware that optimus was just. Staring at him. he just thought oh eye contact and did an awkward wave. but. optimus has never waved at anyone before in his life. it's such an alien custom to him although he (correctly) assumes that it's probably some form of greeting? so like he does it back and he's so stiff in the back and forth of his hand like 😭 weh. he's so cute goddammit

[eolewyn1010]

... Look, let's act like it didn't take me a full month to complete my 12th book of the year. I've been having a psychologically difficult phase. Here we have Harry Potter und der Halbblutprinz / Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, by You Know Whom. I specifically remember the day when this copy was bought, and I can assure you I was twenty years younger than I am now because I fucking insisted on coming along to a Midnight Sale Opening, and then ended up not getting what was so cool about it. What I'm saying is: I am not currently financially or ideologically supporting JKR.

Let's see: This is a pretty good book, craft-wise. Knowing how JKR is fuelled by spite, I suspect someone pointed out to her how disconnected the subplots in earlier books were, and she got offended and wrote this, where damn near every single subplot joins into the big thread at the end. The identity of the Half Blood Prince, Harry's suspicions of Malfoy, the plump attacks on Dumbledore's health and life, the info hunt about the Horcruxes, Dumbledore's injured hand - it all melts together quite beautifully, and it would all be so nice if I didn't know it set up for a rather disappointing finale. But credit where it's due. This plot was fairly well-thought out and had a lot of suspense.

The one thing to which this funnily doesn't apply is the one thing I got really annoyed with on this read-through: the romantic subplots. They are completely incidental to everything else. Now, I've never been super sold on Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione, but it was not because I shipped Harry with Hermione; I just never particularly shipped anyone here, so I let the notion be. This time, a thought cropped up: JKR is just not good at writing romance. Take this with a grain of salt because I am on the ace spectrum and generally don't quite understand attraction that has zero basis in friendship, but bear with me: Hermione and Ron are nothing but bitchy towards and jealous of each other. Ron starts dating Lavender Brown, Hermione likewise Cormac McLaggen, solely to piss the respective other off. Ron's courtship of Lavender and her being quite open to it comes out of the blue; the one single interaction I can remember they had before this was Ron making this immature "can I see Uranus" joke, which. Lavender. Have some standards. I feel bad for Lavender because, now that Umbridge is gone, she gets the brunt of JKR's "girly girls who like feminine things are disgusting" prejudice. Real women subvert femininity in some key way! Never thought I'd find her agreeing with MZB who also had a thing for tomboys and put down traditionally feminine women in the process. Funny that she still had to de-fang Tonks' rather queer presentation and pair her off in Yet Another Poorly Written Romance.

And then there's Harry who just...randomly starts getting jealous of Ginny's current boyfriend. And this poorly-written jealousy is just about all there is to it. Oh yeah, and the mention that he'd "gotten so used to her presence" from spending his holidays at the Burrow. Except this is tell and not show, because we don't hear about them hanging out. They only have one written scene together in the Burrow, and Ginny spends it shitting all over Fleur (btw, Fleur also gets pissed on because she's feminine and pretty and proud of her looks), so that isn't exactly romantic material. And at some point he and Ginny just get together and that quells his jealousy, which was apparently the entire point. Seriously, I read more complaints about Dean Thomas than I do gushings about Ginny. Where's the attraction? The pink goggles? The loving descriptions of every moment spent in her company? No, it's "chest monster" this and "weh, she hangs out with other people" that. And because Ginny is a Cool Girl(TM) and a positive example of an ideal love interest, she not only Doesn't Cry (because we all know that showing emotions other than anger is icky), she's also tough and witty and sharp! Translating to: Kind of a bully. She trips Ron so he falls flat on his face, she hexes another student because he's getting on her nerves on the train (instead of just...telling him to go away?), she crashes broomstick-first into Zacharias Smith because she didn't like his attitude about the Quidditch game he was commenting. Look, physical injuries may be accepted humor among five to eight-year-olds, but Ginny is fifteen, and this really doesn't sit so cool with me. Then again, Harry does have a mean streak from book 4 onwards, so perhaps this kind of behavior is exactly why he's all over her now. Eh.

Speaking of mean streak: Remember when he slashed open Malfoy in the bathroom and five seconds later was more worried about keeping his good Potions grades than about having gravely injured another student? Ah, good times. Which brings me to a basic practical question about Hogwarts: Don't they teach kids the lingual roots of spells? Because when I look at the word Sectumsempra, I know instantly that it has something to do with cutting, and I never finished my latinum. Harry apparently had no idea what that spell does, yet he willy-nilly tries it out on Malfoy because it's only Malfoy, I guess; there's more where he came from. He's Harry Potter! Rules don't apply to him! He can just never graduate and still wind up leading the Aurors' office! Life is good when you're Special(TM).

Because this book isn't too bloated, it still gets away with three out of five potions cauldrons: 🧉🧉🧉

I'm sorely tempted to write a bit about werewolves and the implications of Fenrir Greyback, but I'll save that for the finale. I'm also tempted to write a longer stand-alone specifically about how JKR handles romances. Food for thought.