#everything is worse than it ever has been!

[jasontoddsotherhalf]

Hey guys, I gave it a try lol let me know what yall think!

Jason Todd isn't a cruel guy.

Not on purpose, anyways. He saw some shit as a kid, as any kid did growing up in Crime Alley. His parents were murdered when he was still very young and he'd been taken in by THE Batman. Regardless of what anyone says, beating criminals up every night of your tween years does affect one's physce. Getting beat with a crowbar and killed by Joker does worse.

But now Jason is back, and he's stronger, and he's smarter. Sure he's scarred up and violent, but he's finally his own soilder, his own dog. And Jason really does love helping people. Which is why along side running the biggest crime ring Gotham had seen in years, he also works for a Mental Health Helpline.

He didn't get many calls directed to him, but he did get one tonight as he sat in his shitty apartment in Gotham, tending to a wound on his leg a few days old. He answered the phone, putting it on speaker and laying it on the coffee table.

"Hello, Gotham Mental Health Hotline. How may I help you tonight?"

A deep voice comes from the other side of the phone, a voice that Jason had heard in his dreams for years, praising him, scolding him, reading him stories to help him get to bed, waking up from resting to go fight crime.

"I'm not at risk. I don't need help." Bruce Wayne says slowly.

Jason clears his throat, his eyes narrowing. Would Bruce know it was him. Would Bruce ever be able to recognize him at all?

"I understand." Jason answered. "Is there any way I can help?"

Bruce took a shakey breath. "I don't need...help. I just...I have some heavy regrets waying on me. Mistakes that I've carried with me, guilt that acts like a noose, tighter recently than it has been in years. My son...I messed up so badly with my son. I want to fulfill my promise to him. I want to make it all okay again for my boy."

Jason shivered. He's not talking about you, idiot. He tells himself. He doesn't care that you're dead. He never cared. He's talking about perfect Dick or clever Tim. Not better-off-dead Jason Fucking Todd.

Jason slowly went back to tending to the open wound, which had started bleeding from how hard he was unintentionally prodding at it. "Have you tried talking to him? I'm sure he'd understand." Jason said through gritted teeth. It wasn't him. Batman didn't need Jason, so Bruce certainly didn't either.

"I would tell him. If he ever showed up. God, I'd tell him anything and everything." Something screeched in the background on Bruce's end and Bruce swore softly. Jason pictured him suddenly speeding through Gotham streets, the Batmobile swerving dangerously, recklessly.

Jason didn't say anything, just waited for his father- for Bruce Wayne- to keep speaking. He continued, after a moment. "I only see him sometimes, when I dream. And he's in my arms again, young and bright and so full of life and potential." So he was talking about Dick. The first Robin who had grown up, fought with Batman, and left, never to return, not as he had been. Dick was Nightwing now, and led his own team, though he was still close with Bruce. Jason relaxed. This call was not about him. He could continue with his plans of vengeance without feeling guilty. I'm sure I'll laugh about this later.

"I'm sorry sir..." Jason trailed off awkwardly. Bruce spoke before Jason could say anything else.

"He's...he's dead." Jason froze. Everything went still. It seemed as though the cars outside all went skidding to a halt, the blood in Jason's veins went cold. The only sound was the old light above him flickering. Jason stuttered slightly as he quickly searched up both Nightwing and Robin on line, a dark part of him hoping one of them had died. But no, there were only two articles published within the last few hours and it was about a case Robin, Nightwing, and Batman had dismantled the previous night.

Jason swallowed. "I'm...so sorry, sir. Do you want to talk about him?" Jason wanted him to say no, needed Bruce to say no. For once he wanted Bruce to close off everything and everyone and retreat back to the dark corner of his mind where he told no one anything.

And there was a long silence between them, Jason was sure Bruce would hang up.

Batman would have. But Bruce didn't. "His name was Jason. And he was the most golden and beautiful boy on this planet. You would have never thought so from judt glancing at him once. His hair was flat and dark, And he was short and skinny and always had dirt on him somewhere. But it was in his eyes, and in his laugh. That's where his love was held. He cared so much. About everyone. He always wanted to help. He would always rush forward, even if it put him at risk. He didn't care about himself. He cared more about the wellbeing of others. He was so sweet and..." Bruce's voice cracked. "I just want my son back. My sweet boy." Jason didn't say anything. He felt his throat burn and his eyes blur. "I-i'm sorry sir. He sounds...amazing. I'm sure whatever it is you feel guilty over..." Jason took a deep breath. "I'm sure he forgives you." He lied. Partially lied. Jason didn't know anymore. One conversation where one participant didn't even know who the other was did not count as closure, and nothing was different. But it wasn't the same either. Bruce cared. All this time Jason had been looking for Batman to show the effect Jason's death had on him, when really it was Bruce he should have been looking at.

Bruce was quiet for a long long time. "I wish that was true, son. But I don't think so. Still, thank you for saying so. And thank you for listening. You're a good kid." Bruce didn't say anything else before hanging up. Jason sat in silence for a moment, frozen in time, feeling dizzy. Then he sprung up, his injured leg aching and dripping blood onto the floor, and he ran to the bathroom, falling in front of the toilet and throwing up anything he had eaten in the past 24 hours.

AU, where Jason returns to Gotham, but in between of his evil mastermind plans and managing the criminal empire, he starts working in this anonymous psychological hotline services.

And gets a call from Bruce-fucking-Wayne.

Well. It is not like Bruce announces that he is Bruce Wayne — it is anonymous, after all — but Jason knows his father's voice, alright?

'I don't need a physiological help,' his father tells him the minute he picks up the phone.

Jason... Snorts.

'Of course,' he nods, making his voice nicer. 'How can I help you?'

Bruce pauses, his breath hitching for a second; almost as if he recognized Jason's voice.

'My... my son thinks I need it, but I am fine,' Bruce insists. 'Still... I want to, well, fulfil a promise I gave... for once.'

Jason rolls his eyes, a familiar irritation flaring up in green flames before his eyes. He wonders who is this lucky son that gets to have such a diligent, responsible father - Dickhead? Tim? Damian?

'I see,' he breathes out, trying to follow a protocol of the calls. 'I am sure he will appreciate your loyalty. Will you tell him about it?'

'If he appears,' something screeches in the background, and if Jason closes his eyes, he can easily imagine Bruce leaning back on the armchair, in the Batcave. 'I... He only ever appears in my dreams, my boy.'

Jason freezes.

'Excuse me?'

'I... He is dead, my son.'

Had someone else died? Jason frowns, reaching for his phone, typing anxiously Nightwing and Robin in the search bar, trying to see if there is something serious happened; because he can't be talking about the second Robin, can he-

'I am sorry,' he blurts out, eyes drifting back to notes on the table, with some common phrases that can be used in this situation. 'I... Do you want to talk about, sir?'

Bruce is silent for a while. Jason thinks he is about to drop the call, but then, he sighs heavily on the line:

'His name was Jason. And he was the brightest boy.'

Jason mutes the microphone. He thinks he is going to vomit.

[diushek]

One day, Shen Qingqiu comes from the city with a little baby in his arms. He says: "His mother died during childbirth and I am taking care of him." He names the child Shen Yuan when he is old enough to give him a name, and the child grows up in Qing Jing.

Everyone, absolutely everyone, believes that Shen Qingqiu is the biological father of that child. Only have to LOOK at them both and see the resemblance: the same eyes, the same hair, the same facial structure, the same lips, even the same angry pout. Rumors - Shen Qingqiu had a child with a prostitute who died and now he is taking care of him!! - are open secrets.

Shen Qingqiu, as usual, ignores them. He cares for his little one, raising him with the closest thing other Peak Lords can call love. Impeccable robes, the best meals, the best early education. Shen Yuan grows up as a polite, gentle, kind-hearted, sweet-faced child. He frees insects before killing them, isn't afraid to dirty his robes if he must go after someone, and has an avid interest in beasts and monsters beyond comprehension. The Peak Lords jokingly think: this child has taken his father's face and surely the good heart of his mother, may she rest in peace.

When he comes of age, he doesn't even have to dig a hole to be chosen for Qing Jing Peak - everyone knows that Shen Qingqiu has already made a place for him there. However, Shen Yuan insists on doing it on his own! He wants to earn his place. The Peak Lords respect him for it, and there are various interests, but he still ends up in Qing Jing Peak.

And Shen Yuan becomes Shen Qingqiu's clear first disciple. He is a skilled scholar, excellent martial artist who is not afraid to tear someone rude with foul words, but with an almost natural disposition to be kind, sweet and gentle with those who deserve and require it.

It is then that Luo Binghe arrives at Qing Jing Peak.

The Peak Lords hear of the rumors and they spread them like pollen in spring: apparently there has been a HUGE discussion between Shen Qingqiu and his spoiled son! Something involving a child with water burns, a beating, and a woodshed. No one understands what happened, but a day later, Shen Yuan completely disappeared from the Cang Qiong Sect.

And he has taken a young disciple with him.

Shen Qingqiu begins to act as if he never had a son - as if his whole life has been all about him, hostile and unpleasant. His mood is worse than ever and his cruelty is undeniable. No one understands what has happened between father and son, but these are rumors that even if whispered, bring the very bad faces of Shen Qingqiu. And no one wants to be behind Shen Qingqiu's wrath when it is unleashed.

(Shen Yuan had transmigrated. Into a baby! Into Shen Qingqiu's son! Yes, indeed his memories had been gradually unlocked, thank god. It would have been so weird to be a baby with the mindset of an adult... And he had believed, for a long time, that perhaps Shen Qingqiu could change. That loving him and caring for him would make him better when Luo Binghe reached Cang Qiong.

Unfortunately, that was not the case.

So, Shen Qingqiu can hate him for this reason if he wants! But Shen Yuan has to leave there and take Luo Binghe with him. He will teach him cultivation and do everything to make him become a powerful cultivator before his demonic seal is unleashed, he will do everything possible to prevent him from the Endless Abyss, and will prevent Shen Qingqiu from being turned into a human stick.

Probably, a single night of punishment and humiliation wasn’t enough for Luo Binghe to want revenge so hard. Actually?? He just would save the lives of all his martial uncles and his father in the process to kindly educate Luo Binghe and make him as powerful yet happy as possible. They should thank him!! He's sacrificing himself, his comforts, and his reputation to save everyone's asses!!!)

...

(Although Shang Qinghua had wanted to give Shen Qingqiu a son - a magical pollen pregnancy between Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu, which Shen Qingqiu would NEVER tell Yue Qingyuan was his child until the very last moment - for the drama and secondary revenge and angst 7/9, that had been a damn draft!!! He didn't even get to develop the background of Yue Qingyuan and Shen Jiu!!! And now that son ran away with his Protagonist!? System, what's going on!? Why do HE make sure the Endless Abyss arc be completed!? He doesn't even fucking know where the protagonist is!!! System have mercy on AND HELP!!!)

[emsdevs]

The Return

Bear and Bug 🐻🐞

a/n: surprise!! kirby talked me into splitting this part up, so you all get one more part of the main conflict after this!! enjoy!!!

masterlist | NHL Masterlists | Bear and Bug Masterlist

Three weeks had passed since you arrived at Cole’s place, and he’s been trying everything under the sun to get you to return to the lake house with him. Today, after getting out of bed, you find out he’s pulled out the big guns. When you walk into the living room, you’re met with not only Cole but also Trevor and Alex. Apparently, Cole had filled them in on the situation, and they changed their flights to Montreal to come help. 

“C’mon. It can’t be that bad. I know for a fact Jack misses you,” Trevor is currently trying to encourage you to come with them, your packed suitcase sitting beside him. At some point during the night, they had snuck into your room and packed your bags, leaving you with no “good” excuse not to go with them.

“You talked to him?” your head shoots toward Trevor, hope filling your eyes. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as you thought.

“...No,” he looks toward the ground as he speaks, “but! I know Jack, and I know he’s probably falling apart at the seams if you two haven’t talked in three weeks. You’re his person. He’s probably dying right now.”

“Oh, great. I’m killing my best friend! This is exactly what I was worried about when Quinn and I got together. He’s been having such a tough time, and I’ve made it a hundred times worse. I’ll be lucky if he ever talks to me again.”

“You’re right. She is being dramatic,” Alex whispers to Cole before stepping forward to try to comfort you. “Look, sweetheart, the only way to make this any better is to bite the bullet. I know you’re scared, but you can’t keep running away from it.”

You were silent for a moment, shocked by the wisdom from Alex. After gathering your thoughts, you spoke, “You’re right. Let me go be sure you all got everything, and then we can head out.”

“No way that worked,” Cole couldn’t believe their plan worked in their favor.

“Bro, when did you become a shrink?”

~~

The tension at the lake house was higher than ever. Ellen and Jim had given up on trying to help their sons work out their issues, so they drove back home for a while, letting the boys stew in their anger. The boys had done nothing except that. Quinn and Luke silently shared an alliance while Jack either ignored them completely or began picking fights. 

“Hope you two are ready to go running back to your precious Bug,” Jack told the other two boys as he walked to the kitchen to grab a snack.

“What do you mean?” Luke answered, sass written all over his question.

“Trev just texted me. He, Alex, and Cole just boarded their flight. With Bug.”

“She’s coming back?” Quinn couldn’t hide the hope in his voice. He didn’t care how Jack felt anymore. He was miserable, and he needed his Bug. 

“Don’t get all excited. That doesn’t mean she’s getting back together with you,” Jack rolled his eyes.

“Don’t tell me you think she’s coming back for you,” Luke doesn’t even attempt to hide the sneer in his voice.

“She’s my best friend, Lukey. Of course, she’s coming back to get in my good graces.” 

“Are you kidding me? Look at how you’ve been treating her, Jack! We’re all lucky she’s even coming back at all!” Quinn is angry now. You’ve probably been hurting more than he has for the past three weeks, and Jack is acting all high and mighty like you’ll come crawling back to him. As far as Quinn is concerned, you don’t need to come crawling back to anybody. If anything, the three of them owe you an apology.

“Of course, you’re sticking up for her! God, she has you wrapped around her finger! You’re so whipped you can’t see that she’s the problem here!”

“No, you don’t get to do that. You know Quinn is right. You’ve been horrible to her, and she deserves an apology. From all of us, honestly. Jesus, I mean, she even put you’re feelings above her happiness. She and Quinn could have been so happy, but you were complaining about how horrible the NHL is every night, so her main concern was protecting you. Mind you, you are not one of the two people in that relationship, so the fact she took your feelings about it into account at all is a kind of grace that you obviously don’t deserve. Why don’t you get down from your high horse and think about everything Bug has done for you? Then, you can tell us if she’s the one that needs to apologize or not,” Luke doesn’t give Jack time to answer, walking off as soon as he finishes his speech. Quinn doesn’t hesitate in following, only giving Jack a sharp look before making his way to your room once again. He found Luke already there, so they sat on your bed together, putting on a movie and soon falling asleep.

Jack, now alone in the living room, takes the time to do as Luke said. He thought back to when he knew you’d be his best friend forever. You two had silently agreed to have separate friend groups at school, but when you saw Jack’s friends had left him alone one day at lunch, you left your friends to go sit with him. They stopped talking to you after that, but you were fine with it because you had Jack. He thought about everything you had sacrificed for him, even skipping out on joining an afterschool club because it would conflict with some of his game times. How many times had you put Jack first, even when you could’ve had something really good for you if you had put yourself first? He could think of at least one: Quinn. He’s a horrible best friend. 

Jack lost track of how long he sat there, losing himself in his thoughts that were slowly becoming more and more self-deprecating, but before he knew it, he heard the front door opening. Moments later, he jumps to his feet when he sees you walk into the living area.

“Hey,” he says, slightly out of breath.

“Hey.”

taglist: @heartsforjh @devilinpradaheels @coldheartedmar @juxmi @puckmedude @alexxavicry @dancerbailey3 @hockey43 @madebyhappymeals @ccomandercody @kirajessie @beenucks @iamspeed6

join the taglist

[starshinedreamer]

Alrighty y'all, grab a chair and get comfy whilst I yap about my son, my pride and joy, the greatest thing to ever happen to me, my D&D OC: Raymond Foxwood. He is a Wood Elf Druid with the Researcher background and a Neutral-Good alignment (Images at the very end).

I haven't figured out what his voice sounds like yet. I'm thinking he may kind of have an accent? But like it's barely there. I do have an idea for a possible Japanese voice claim: Souta from the movie Suzume.

His best friend? I guess it would be my friend's D&D character. Her name is Topaz and she is a Dragonborne. Not besties, but pretty close.

Ooooooo boy, I got a whole playlist my friend and I have been cooking up for this sad little fella. Here's a couple of them that I think describes him best:

-"The Moss" by Cosmo Sheldrake

-"Rom-Com Gone Wrong" by Matt Maltese

-"When She Loved Me" by Sarah McLachlan

-"Home" by Cavetown

-"Valentine" by Laufey

-"Love Like You" by Rebecca Sugar

He's like, dealing with a heavy breakup until "Valentine" when he meets his current partner :)

4. "I do Adore" by Mindy Gledhill

5. Nope! But I actually thought about it when I was first creating his character just to see how he would act with other dynamics.

6. A scientist. More specifically, an ecologist. He loves nature and learning about all there is to know about life and the world. He also likes finding ways to help others, so maybe even a pharmacologist?

8. Writing, researching, reading, gardening, and making little insect and animal models because he is a NERD™ /lh<3

9. He generally takes good care of his physical health. Although, his flaw is "Most people scream when they see a demon. I stop and take notes on its anatomy," soooo. "For science" he says. "It's for the greater good" he says.

10. Well he's trying his best. But sometimes anxiety just surprises you and all of the sudden you're spiraling and things seem much worse than they are and pfffft whaddya meeeeaaaan I'm sorta self projecting? But he is the kind of person who feels bad about asking for help and then sort of holds it all in.

11. Inspirations were taken Link from The Legend of Zelda series (mainly BOTW) and Howl from Howl's Moving Castle for his design. Everything else was based purely on my own self indulgences for a nerdy elf character (and the songs my friend keeps sending my for him).

12. Same response as question 2 :)

13. No not really, but he is fighting against an organization that keeps threatening and trying to burn down the library he works/lives in with the librarian: Amanita (Ama, Anita, or Nita for short). Amanita is the person who raised and took care of Raymond after his family died in a fire. A fire caused by the same organization who's trying to harm them now. This is his main reason for joining a campaign; to get stronger and protect his loved ones.

14. This one flippin poison dragon we fought. Or maybe that's just me because I really didn't want to let them leave alive. I don't think Raymond necessarily hates anyone.

15. That all honestly depends on how the rest this campaign will play out. My friend has told me that they all did die a couple times, and we almost died to the STINKIN DRAGON but that's not important right now. But L O R E wise, he'd probably still do his researcher stuff until he's really old. Then he'll write books and share his stories :)

16. If they were alive, then I could see him having a great relationship with his parents since they were also big nerds like him. His relationship with Amanita is also great, and he really wants to protect her since she has done so much for him.

17. YESSSSSS! He loves sharing his knowledge with others and would do such a great job teaching kids. Ohhhh this is such a good one, yes he would feel bad if he had to leave them.

18. He/Him :>

19. Biromantic Asexual. His love language in giving is Acts of Service, and Quality Time for both giving and receiving.

20. A longbow and rocks. He has a cantrip spell called "Magic Stone" which lets me make a ranged attack by throwing small pebbles or stones. I like to call this spell the "RAYMOND, STONE 'EM" spell because its funnnnyyyy.

21. hmmmmmmmmmm Actually, I'm not sure! I guess maybe "Nothing You Can Take From Me" from The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes.

22. Will generally go for the non-violent option (more of a lover), but if initiatives are rolling, he'll fight.

23. Extremely. He'll show up with a new tire to fix the flat one, and an extra one for any future situations.

24. Undecided

25. Not singing out loud, but he would definitely hum to himself! :)

26. Irises, forget-me-nots, and bluebells

27. Symbolism wise, a deer. 'Just because' wise, a rabbit, a fox, and a kitty cat :3

28. The Nerds™ (found at the end of this post:) ).

29. Cozy stuff, lo-fi, books, plants, leather notebooks, and an overall sort of cottage core mixed with academia aesthetic. (Mood Board made in Canva :>)

30. Accepts this as their new life(yippee!). They have now been adopted. Will try to find a way to bring up their interests in conversations.

Fuck it, OC brain rot won. Get ready for the Secret Ask List

1) Does your OC have a voice claim, if so who?

2) Who's your OCs best friend? How did they become best friends?

3) What song describes your OC?

4) What song describes your OC and their partner/love interest?

5) Do you ship your OC with a Canon character? If so who?

6) If your OC is in a fantasy setting, what profession would they be in the modern day?

7) Vice-Versa! If your OC is in the modern day, what fantasy class would they be? Would they be a different race?

8) What hobbies does your OC have? What do they do to unwind?

9) How does your OC handle their physical health? Do they take care of themselves?

10) How does your OC handle their mental health? Do they take care of themselves?

11) What was your inspiration for your OC?

12) Does your OC interact with other people's OC? If so, who's their best OC friend?

13) Does your OC have a rival? How did it start?

14) Who's a character your OC cannot stand! It's on sight when they see them!

15) Will your OC ever retire? Do you see them making it?

16) How's their relationship with their parents? Are they alive?

17) If your OC has kids, are they a good parent? Do they ever feel guilty if they have to leave them?

18) What are their pronouns? What would they like to be called?

19) What's their sexuality? What's their love language both giving and receiving?

20) If they fight, what's their weapon of choice?

21) What song best describes their relationship with their enemy?

22) Fight or Flight? Are they a lover or a fighter?

23) Is your OC reliable? Can I call them up at two in the morning if I have a flat tire?

24) Can they play any instruments? If so, what do they play?

25) Are they the kind of person who can't resist a good song? Can I catch your OC singing to themselves while they do the dishes?

26) What flower do you associate your OC with?

27) What's their spirit tamagotchi? Or an animal you associate them with?

28) What clique would they be in? (Draw them in the clothes of said group!)

29) Imagine a mood board for your OC! What's on it? (Make it if you want!)

30) My OC and your OC are friends. This isn't a question. I'm not asking. (How do they respond?)

[nottivagos]

syn: Mechanic!Danny gives you a lift home after seeing you drenched at the bus stop after work.

wc: 2.1k

an: MECHANIC DANNY FLUFF!! this scene has been stuck in my head for a while, im just glad i finally wrote it!

taglist: @orangeblossomsintheair

Everything just seemed to be not on your side today.

A busy day at the workshop brought struggles of its own for a start. Endless amounts of paperwork, filing and invoices had to be done, the droning rings and buzzes of the office telephone nearly every five minutes which was then followed by clients barking their demands for MOTs and services only for you to scribble down pathetically and messily, to the annoyed grunts and angry orders from Danny and the others made you want to melt into the floor and never emerge up ever again.

It didn’t help that you’d become so absorbed with work and getting everything done that you’d missed your typical bus that you’d usually get at the end of the day. At this point, you were at your breaking point. Whilst standing at the bus stop, your blurry, tearful vision showed that as you gulped your stressed sorrows away.

Minutes droned on as you waited impatiently for your bus to arrive. You were agitated and emotional, the mixture of pent-up stress from the long week made a nice cocktail bomb of emotions ready to burst at any moment.

Then the rain came. How great.

If you didn’t expect your day to get any worse, this was the final nail in the coffin. The small, unnoticeable pitter patters soon thundered down onto the glass shelter as you tried your best to take cover underneath it whilst trying to maintain warmth in your flimsy coat during the torrential downpour, which you silently begged to end as soon as possible.

Droplets relentlessly trickled off the edge of the bus stop, the water dripping down hitting your scalp and dampening your perfect hairstyle with no mercy whatsoever. So much for styling it this morning, huh?

At this point, you were hoping for a miracle. Now nearly completely drenched to the bone, and unable to catch a ride home due to the incompetent bus service that carried out through your little town, you silently prayed someone would drive past, feel some sort of pity for you, and offer you a life home.

However, that ‘saviour’ wasn’t someone who you’d suspect it to be. After all, not all heroes wear capes. Or in this instance, they wear dirty work polo shirts that don’t fit them as well as they used to.

After finally locking up his garage, ending his long day of mechanic hell, Daniel was driving home when he noticed a shivering figure waiting hopelessly in the bus shelter close to the garage. As he drove closer, his windscreen wipers violently swiped the water from his glass just so he could make out yourself shivering like a lost puppy in the rain due to the weather’s dramatic change in climate.

At first, he was hesitant to give you a lift home. Gritting his teeth slightly, his expression hardened. He’d already had enough of you and your shenanigans for one day whilst in work, but there was something inside of him nagging for him to show you a meagre inch of kindness in asking you if you needed a lift home.

Taking a short drag of his cigarette to try and compose himself, his other hand maintained control over the steering wheel. Whilst driving closer and closer to you, the cars he seemed to be in convoy with ultimately determined his decision in whether he should offer you a ride home or not.

Mercilessly, the cars that sped past you splashed through a large puddle that had formed next to the curb due to the rainfall. The impact of them driving through it caused a rather large gush of water to drown you even more than you already were.

Danny’s grip on the steering wheel slightly tightened as he pressed down on the accelerator pedal a little too much just to express his irritation at the prickish drivers before him. He then quickly regained some composure, before abruptly swerving into the bus lane. The sight of the random car speeding into the bus lane made you jump slightly.

A rolled down window followed, before you were met with your seething boss with a cigarette wedged in between his teeth looking at you with a knowing look. “Well, are you gettin’ in or what?” His voice was rude and blunt, despite it holding some genuine care in it, his eyebrow raising as you made eye contact with him.

“Come on sugar, I ain’t got all day!” Danny exclaimed as you replied with a swift nod, scrambling from the rainy outside to the warmth of his car, as you pulled the door open and plopped into the dirty passenger side with a relieved sigh.

The interior of Danny’s car was well… messy. Hell, ‘messy’ was an understatement. Oil and grime were smeared on the glove boxes and armrests, littered receipts and other sorts of work manuals scattered the vehicle’s floor, the stagnant stench of past smoked cigarettes seeped into the seats and dust collected over the years made you choke slightly as he pulled the car off from the curb.

“Don’t mind the mess,” Danny grumbled dryly, noticing a small grimace that had formed on your face. “I’m planning on cleanin’ it this weekend,” he obviously lied through his teeth, whilst eyes fixed on the road ahead.

“It’s fine, honestly,” you reassured him with an awkward smile, posture tensing as you sat on the worn and aged passenger seat.

For the first few minutes, the journey was awkward to say the least. Surprisingly enough, Danny had some courtesy despite his lack of it in the garage. He’d turned down his loud rock music when you’d entered the car, so you were left with a palpable silence you could’ve been able to cut through with a knife.

You shifted a couple of times in your seat uncomfortably as Danny took small yet long drags from his cigarette. The pull out cup holder had become a makeshift ashtray over the years, you inferred. Danny’s ex wife has always hated his smoking, (which Danny was very vocal about whenever you yourself complained or expressed your concerns) and just ‘mess’ in general, but it seemed ever since she’d left that he’d accumulated enough mess in his car that only five (or maybe even more) ‘deep cleans’ would fix.

“So,” Danny broke the silence as he began gruffly, “Where are you heading?”

“Home,” you quickly replied, “I missed my bus and it started to rain.”

“I figured,” he grumbled in response, obviously unamused by you stating the obvious. “Where do you live?” he asked, his voice a little softer than usual, taking a brief glance at you. “I can drop you off. Only if you’d like. It’s no problem.”

A small blush burnt your cheeks at the gesture. “It’s not that far from here,” you began with a soft smile, matching his short-lived glance. “Just up these two streets and then you take a left,” you guided with a hand gesture which Danny followed with a little huff and a small smile himself.

“Didn’t expect you to be a local girl,” he commented lowly underneath his breath, nodding in acknowledgement.

Another awkward silence followed, the hums and roars of Danny’s car engine and the whirring of the heaters blasting hot air onto you both acted like white noise for those uneventful moments.

“Thank you, by the way,” your mumble broke the silence, the apple of your cheeks still a subtle pink colour. “If it wasn’t for you I probably would’ve been waiting for ages,” you added with a small chuckle, trying to downplay your predicament.

“It’s not a problem, really,” he chuckled with a nonchalant shrug. “Always happy to help if you need it, pet.”

There it was again. The nickname. You’d never fully understood the origins of why Daniel called it you so often, other for reasons of harmless endearment purposes or for slight degradation due to the fact that you were the only woman who worked in the garage, but God did it make your insides flip and become fuzzy.

“Are you pretty local then too?” You asked as he continued to navigate through the worsening conditions of the roads and weather.

A short scoff followed. “Born and bred, princess,” he muttered before he pressed the dying butt of his cigarette against the plastic tray. “I never left, actually,” he added as you followed his moments, “never saw any reason to.” He joked half-heartedly, as you noticed his pudgy belly confined by his seatbelt.

As well as this, you couldn’t help but notice his burly, large tattooed arms that revealed themselves as his work polo rode up his bicep. The most noticeable to you was his left side, which showed his rose tattoo on his left hand, and the cupid on his forearm hidden by some unruly hairs now, but you couldn’t help but notice a woman’s name hidden underneath the fabric riding up his bicep whenever his muscles flexed slightly whilst gripping the wheel.

You knew you shouldn’t ask. It seemed wrong to ask. But as stupidly curious as you were, you did anyways.

“Who’s that woman written on the bottom of your bicep?” The question itself was innocent enough, however the response that followed from Danny surely wasn’t.

As soon as you watched Daniel’s jaw lock into place, (undoubtedly from the annoyance and irritation that having this woman’s name tatted on his arm brang), the tense muscles that followed as he got the steering wheel into a death grip, his knuckles going white from the intensity of his clasp on it, you knew you’d messed up.

Frowning upon his reaction, your eyebrows furrowed in sympathy, as you felt terrible for asking. “I’m sor—”

“Don’t.”

Your lips pursed shut as you stayed silent. Gulping nervously, you kept your eyes glued on the road ahead, not wanting to make eye contact with Danny. In that moment a pit of dread formed in your stomach, you thought for sure that he was about to slam the brakes and make you walk home in the rain, but instead, he stayed dangerously silent.

Danny, however, after a few moments, sighed. He couldn't stay mad at you for your curiosity, and it wasn't like you wouldn't find out one way or another.

“It's my ex missus,” Danny replied reluctantly, brushing a large hand through his messy mullet. “I got it in our early days,” he added, his hand coming down to scratch his beard before glancing at you again, “drunken mistake, actually.”

Oh. So that was the ex wife.

“I'm so sorry, Daniel,” you apologised softly, looking up at him. “I-I- didn't know,” you continued, your voice remorseful and shaky as you whispered.

Daniel sighed again at the sight of you. Something about your expression just made his hard exterior melt away, his eyes widen slightly as his gaze softened. It was different than when he was with his ex. He felt purer, with less of a need to be angry or rude. He felt at ease.

“Hey,” his voice was a gentle whisper, glancing over at you for a moment before he placed a reassuring hand on your thigh. “It's alright, darlin’, you didn't know,” he added, his thumb rubbing soothingly across your clothed thigh.

“Yeah– But–”

“But nothing,” he said with a smile, a genuine reassuring one as he squeezed your thigh, whilst he turned into your street. “You didn't know, and that's alright.”

In that moment, you felt your cheeks burn again, your ears pricked hot as your insides flurried happily. “This one's mine,” you pointed out your house with a small smile to Danny as he pulled up on the side of the curb.

“Thank you for the lift,” you broke the silence as you faced him after unbuckling your seat belt. “I really appreciate it,” you added with a soft smile.

Danny chuckled, the creases on his face more distinct as he smiled back at you. “It was my pleasure, princess,” he said as he withdrew his hand from your thigh. “Anytime you need a lift, call me,” he added with a slightly cheesy wink, which made you giggle in response.

In a flash, you pressed your lips against Danny's, feeling him tense at the abrupt action before coming to cup your cheeks when he eventually melted into the gesture. You pulled away with a sweet smile on your lips, watching Danny pant softly from the passion in the gesture.

“Goodnight, Danny,” you whispered gently as you moved away from him in the driver's seat and out of the car. “See you on Monday,” you added with a bat of your eyelashes, “and drive safely home, please.”

“A-always,” Danny responded, dumbfounded as his wide eyes watched you walk into your house after giving him a wave goodbye. He ran his thumb over his lips, still completely flustered by the fact that you'd kissed him as he sat in silence for a few moments outside your house, trying to recollect his thoughts. <3

like mechanic!danny? fancy sending me an ask in my ask box so you can be added to my notebook! - notti <3

[proud-cloud]

Three Cheers for sweet revenge plot song by song according to me

My credentials are that uhmm ive listened to this album like weekly since i was like 12 and uhm im taking english A-Level (crime and tragedy) sooooo

Full disclaimer i could do a line by line analysis on pretty much all of these songs but then this would be stupidly long so im just touching on the points or lyrics i think are most important for the plot! Oh and i cant spell and im trieddd of writing academic essays so im kinda yapping ngl

HELENA

honestly i barely have anything to say here but i imagine its the demo woman’s funeral (yes ik its abt Gerard ways grandma but let me cook) kind of setting the tone and exploring his grief, creating the circumstances for his deal with the devil - especially in the bridge.

GIVE EM HELL KID

Ok so here!! Is where i start to have more to say!! So in my head the man (im just gonna call them tje man and the woman or like he/she from here on) has accepted the deal with satan to kill 1000 evil men and is basically on a killing spree? So from my immense medical knowledge of watching house im preity sure epidrene is a steroid, which like gives him energy (interestingly ive been on them a few times for asthma and they have a long list of mental side effects such as uhhh mania (fall out boy whooo) anxiety and depression which maybe foreshadows his sorta insanity towards the end as his guilt haunts him) acting as a symbol of his immense motivation to see his wife again, so verse one especially is before his downfall where hes like yippee killing people to see my wife again!! The chorus i imagine is sang by both him and the woman in heaven as they both long for each other uhm and later on in the song it does seem as if hes begining to kind of loose it a bit due to his grief? kind of foreshadowing his well everything later on in the album. In the bridge i imagine hes kind of mocking their teenage selves (linking to im not okay later on) especially in the line “we are young and we dont care” criticicing their hopefullness by comparing it to their current circumstance - ironic as it only gets worse from here.

TO THE END

Now i know this is based on a rose for emily (i tried to read it and there were a LOT of slurs from what i remeber so that was yeah) but for the sake of my silly little narrative were kinda just not gonna touch on that. So here i believe the man has been set to kill this couple, just to find the wife has killed her husband (with the “cyanide you drank” i assume) which drives him into a sort of crisis, questioning if this was what would have happened to him and his wife if she had lived and they had stayed married for this long (fueling his sexuality crisis in prison). I could go so much further into this, especially language wise but for the sake of everyones sanity ill leave it here :)

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DO TO GUYS LIKE US IN PRISION

so hes literally in the middle of a gunfight in the centre of a resturant and the police come and theyre like come with ur arms raised high and ok so!!! Theres many people who could explain this better than me but the man gets arrested for killing all these people and gets sent to jailllll. Ive heard some people talk about it as an allegory for SA in prison and others who talk abt it as him realising his gay/bi ect and honestly i can see both. I really like the line “too much to late or just not enough of this, pain in my heart for your dying wish, i kiss your lips again!” Which, running with the latter intrepretation, suggests hes feeling regret for all the murdering hes done and is questioning if he ever did love his wife this much, and if he should move on and fix his mistakes. So to make a long story short he has a sexuality crisis in prision! Toward the end, he escapes prision and with his “friends” from jail, lilely from setting it on “fire” (i got the friends bit from the lyric “but ill go down with my friends”) escaping jail but at the cost of further loosing his sanity and grasp on morality.

IM NOT OKAY (I PROMISE)

for conveniences sake he either gets knocked out (the giggles at the end of prision i guess beinf from a concussion or something?) or just like goes to sleep somehwhere after the prison break with the other ex inmates and has a flashback to his time in high school, when he fell in love with his wife. As an audienve were kinds like dude she did not like you back then calm down which makes us question the morality of his mission, but for him it reminds him of what hes fighting for and erases the doubt he had in their love in to the end and prison. I will say im kinda pidgenholing this in with the flashback but uhm yeah!

THE GHOST OF YOU

This song acts as a continuation of his grief, back in the present day after im not okay made him remember what he was doing this all for. This basically confirms his belief that killing all these people is right because he needs to see her again. He battles with his morality knowing that she should be “never coming home” cause shes dead but then considering the deal with satan and its morality asking himself “could i? Should i?”. Towards the end, it seems like he decides killing the men to bring her back is the right thing to do. the line “If i fall, down” seems to show his commitment to her regardless of morality, hes willing to ‘fall down’ to hell if it means he gets more time with her which is ironic as he later does go to hell, but never gets to see her again.

THE JETSET LIFE IS GONNA KILL YOU

and hes back to killing again!! I think “her killing jar” is a metaphor for his fixation on his wife and the things its driving him to do. Hes trapped as if he was in a jar by the deal he made with satan for her. Its kind of difficult to explain but essentially hes assuring himself that hes doing it all for her and its all worth it as his sanity slowly dissipates, which i believe is demonstrated through the lyric “pull the plug” kinda symbolising hes giving up on himself and dedicating everything to her. Now this is obviously unhealthily obsessive and is the point where we definately start to question if what hes doing is right - is he not essentially playing god now? Should one man act as judge, jury and executioner?

INTERLUDE

ok its literally just the interlude but here i beleive he is praying for god, the “saints”, to “protect” his wife in heaven further showing his like motive? For all of his murders - his love for her however dangerously codependant.

THANK YOU FOR THE VENOM

HE KILLS MORE PEOPLE 🔥🔥 its almost like he has to kill 1000 evil men damn. BUT now hes starting to loose his grip on reality and is killing innocent people. I like to think he goes to the church he married his wife in and starts killing people - hence the line “sister im not much a poet but a criminal” - hes changed completely from the man he once was. They try to convince him to like stop saying its not what his wife would have wanted but he does not listen - in the lyric “preach all you want but whos gonna save me” - and continues to spiral into a life of crime and implied addiction (when in the chorus he says “give me all your posion and give me all your pills”)

HANG EM HIGH

THIS!! This is the one i can never fully figure out despite it being so good 🙏🙏 it feels like a cop out to say he suddenly becomes a cowboy or idk has to kill a cowboy but any other way i can interpret it is just the same old back to mourning his wife and dedicating his life to her so uhm yeah take any of those 3 or your own and run with it (please tell me if you know how to make this fit better than me)

ITS NOT A FASHION STATEMENT ITS A FUCKING DEATHWISH

Hes now so deep into his mission he cant quit despite the regret he feels. This kind of links back to his mocking of their younger selves in give em hell through the lyric “do you remeber back there when we met you told me this gets harder, well it did!”. Hes kind of pondering how his life got this bad wishing it didnt have to be this way. however he believes they will soon be reunited - evidenced through lines such as “im coming back from the dead” and the repeated references to resserection and him finding his wife, “your running out of places, to hide from me”. At the end, he says “i lost my fear of falling, i will be with you”, further showing he thinks he will soon see his wife again and simmilarly to the ghost of you shows hes willing to sacrafice his soul just to see her again

CEMETERY DRIVE

trust me the fake music video in my head for this goes HARD. So he visits the cemetary where his wife is buried to kinda tell her in a way? That hes almost finished and he’ll see her soon. And in my like the cool cinemetic imaganary music video he dances with her ghost but uhm plot wise hes kinda lamenting how much he misses here as the chorus goes “i miss you, so far”. Now theres some confusion as to how she died as here it says “and they found you on the bathroom floor” but in i never told you it says “they gave us two shots to the back of the head” so i imagine he got caught up in some like bad stuff and they killed her in their home - the bathroom - which does add some depth to his grief as he feels responsable for her death hence why he wants to bring her back so bad. His dedication to her is reinforced through the lyric “so i wont stop lying wont stop dying” which as ive said a lottt shows his like questionably large levels of motivation in this mission from satan. The repetition of “way down” at the end foreshadows the twist in the next song - that he's going to hell - and this idea has been building up throughout the narrative but its reaching its peak now and we begin to see it as a serious possibility considering the innocent people he has killed alongside the guilty ones.

I NEVER TOLD YOU WHAT I DO FOR A LIVING

Aaaaand im realising ive made it all the way through this without even having to check the tracklist which shows that i lack a life! But anyways this song communicates the concept so well and i genuienly could line by line delve into it but for the sake of conciceness as i have been i will just cover the basic concept

OK SO! Hes metholodically getting through this list (im inferring he has a list from the line “i keep a book of the names”) kind of rushing through them, seen through the fast pace of the first verse, in my head it resembles a video montage of the murder of multiple people off of the list. This is further evidenced through the lyric “another knife in my hands” showing this has somehow become his everyday life as hes become so detached from normalicy in his grief. NOW NOW NOW the lyric “a stain that never comes off the sheets” is an allusion to lady Macbeth (I FREAKING LOVE SHAKESPEARE) (im a hamlet girl tho honestly) where she couldnt wash the blood off of her hands which is a common literary symbol for guilt showing his mission has taken a massive toll on him mentally if we did not already realise this. “It aint the money and it sure as hell aint just for the fame” implies he does not enjoy killing these people despite the fact hes killed probably over a thousand people which againnnn shows his dedication to his wife. Now i know ive said that about a billion times but thats important to consider when we take into account that he does not get to see her again - everything he did was essentially worthless, in fact if anything everything he did just sealed his fate. Therefore, if we view him as a tragic hero (i can go so much more into this but thats for another day) then his hamartia is his love for her, his loyalty which kinda gave him tunnel vision meaning he could not see the flaws his plan and the way he was being exploited by satan.

now theres so much symbolism in the lyrics i could discuss (I LOVE THIS SONG) but i will refrain and kinda skip forward to the bridge/the end. I like to think he turns the last page in his book of names to just see his own name and then begins to spiral - this is where the song goes “and we all fall down”. Im preitty sure gerard ways like screams say “i tried” which like furthers this breakdown as he comes to understand all the wrong he has done and his inevatatable damnation. After a large moral debate he thinks it would have been better if they were both killed together originally “never again / they gave us two shots to the back of the head” and he shoots himself in the hope he will eventually be with her in the afterlife, and if not then a life without her is not a life worth living anyways. It ends with the lyric “were all dead now” (which they are) which reminds me of the rhyme/ game from when i was a kid ring a rosies (which i swear is about the plauge) and how that ends by saying “we all fall down” kinda showing the corruption he brought into the world and that everything must come to an end. This is typical of a tragic hero - his anagorisis (realisation of his flaw / mistake) and then his death - which is why i personally do veiw this album as mostly conforming to troupes of traditional greek tragedy :).

aaaaand thats it!! I dont count bury me in black or desert song as part of the album plot uhhh if anyone else does id love to hear how that sounds so cool but yeah!!! Oh and sorry again for any typos and spelling errors i cannot spell for the life of me uhmm this could be so incoherent for all i know (if so sorry!!) but i hope not 😛

lmk if you’d actualy wanna hear the full yap poetry annotation style for a song cause i love nothing more if not talking i might do the same for danger days if i feel like it so watch out 🔥🔥

[ihni]

Billy Hargrove's 20th birthday

(Also on AO3)

Billy is having the worst day.

Actually, no. He’s had many days that were worse (most of them including his dad on a rampage), but he’s currently standing on the side of the road with his thumb out, trying to catch a ride back to Hawkins, in the end of March, in the rain, so excuse him for being a little dramatic.

Also it’s his birthday, so. Every inconvenience gets automatically amplified, for some reason.

But fine, it’s not the worst day he’s ever had, but it sure as hell isn’t good, either.

Billy’s turning twenty today, and he’s still stuck in Hawkins. Working two jobs to get by while trying to save up for the move back to California – because it will happen, it was just maybe a bit naïve of him to think that he’d be able to go right after graduation. But he’s out from under his dad’s roof, at least – moved out first thing after getting his diploma – and even if the small space he’s renting over Mrs. Richardson’s garage is seventy degrees of crappy, it’s his and his dad can’t touch him anymore, which makes it the best home Billy has ever had.

But best home or not, it gets terribly depressing to look at the same four walls all the time, at least when he’s not working or sleeping. (It’s not like he has much of a social life anymore, what with him working all the time and having been somewhat of an asshole back in school and also being entirely uninterested in maintaining his ladies’ man reputation now when he’s free of his dad’s fury.) So a couple of months ago, Billy decided that for his 20th birthday, he’d drive up to Indianapolis and have the best night of his life. He had done his research and found two venues that had bands playing that night that he wouldn’t mind listening to, so he would drive to the city, go to a concert, eat some good goddamn food and drink some good goddamn alcohol and maybe get goddamned laid, and he would treat himself to a night at a motel or cheap hotel and he’d have goddamn milkshake for breakfast because he was an adult and no one could stop him from doing that if he wanted to, and he would have the night of his goddamned life.

(It would also get him out of his tiny little apartment, because if he wasn’t home, then it wouldn’t be so noticeable that no one came to see him on his birthday. Perhaps no one would knock on his door to wish him a happy birthday, or perhaps someone would, but he wouldn’t know or care because he wouldn’t be home. Schrödinger’s birthday wishes.)

He’d been saving up for his little outing for almost four months, and looked forward to it for even longer.

He hadn’t even made it halfway. Thirty miles into his trip, the Camaro’s engine spluttered and started smoking, and that was that. After hitching a ride to the nearest house, a phone call to a nearby garage, and two hours of waiting by his broken-down Camaro for a tow, he finally got his baby to an open garage. There, a big guy with an even bigger belly rooted around in her engine for a while and declared her unfit for the road. Getting her working again would cost Billy everything he’d managed to save for this trip and more, and would take at least a week.

Hence why Billy was currently standing on the side of the road with his thumb out, trying to catch a ride back to Hawkins, in the end of March, in the rain.

On his goddamned birthday.

At this point, Billy has gone through the first four stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining (the mechanic just raised an unimpressed eyebrow when he tried to haggle) and depression – and had now landed in acceptance. The day was a bust. His plans had fell through. He’d wanted a good thing, and instead as usual, he’d ended up worse than when he started. With the rain beating down on him and the cars splashing him when they passed, he was soaked through. Soaked through and cold and hungry and poor and one hundred percent over this whole day. He just wanted to get home to his crappy four walls and crawl into his lumpy bed and forget this whole failure of a pipe dream, because God forbid Billy Hargrove gets to have a good day!

Yes, he might still be a little dramatic. Sue him. (Actually don’t, he doesn’t have any money left.)

But it’s been a long day. He started early to get a head start on what he was hoping would be a night to remember, but most of the day has passed and it’s getting dark. Soon, no one will be able to see him here at the side of the road, and with the rain the risk of being hit by a car is just too big. He briefly considers knocking on the door of the first house he sees and ask to stay the night, but immediately discards the idea. No one would open the door for him anyway, the way he looks.

He has just resigned himself to the thought of walking all the way back to Hawkins – it’ll take all night and he’ll probably die of pneumonia in the near future, but at least he’ll be able to crash into bed at the end of it – when a pair of approaching headlights flash at him and he hears a car switching gears to slow down. He also hears music – good music – that is abruptly shut off when the car rolls to a stop next to him.

Three things dawn on him, one after the other:

The car is a van.

The van is not just any van, but the one belonging to local drug dealer Eddie Munson.

Eddie Munson is indeed the driver, turning on the little overhead light and motioning at Billy to get in.

It’s not like Billy dislikes Munson. He never bullied him when they went to school together, unlike so many others, because Billy knows the value of good weed and when he first showed up in Hawkins he correctly deduced that Munson would not sell the good weed to his bullies. He knows that Munson at least has a good taste in music, if a flair for the dramatics.

That doesn’t mean that Billy likes Munson. The guy was at the bottom of the totem pole back in school, and hanging out with him then would have been social suicide. Because Billy cared about those things back then.

Now? Now he just wants to get home. Fuck today.

“Need a ride, handsome?”

And it’s a jab somehow, Billy knows it. And if he wasn’t soaked to the bone and shivering, he would have answered something like ‘fuck you’ or ‘didn’t know you swing that way’ or even a sarcastic ‘no, I’m standing out here in the rain because my shower is broken, what’s it to you?��. But he’s weary and doesn’t have the energy for whatever would follow, so he just gives a tired nod.

A wrinkle appears between Munson’s eyebrows, like maybe Billy’s lack of answer is the worrying part.

“Well get in. You look like a drenched rat.”

Another thing that Billy on any other given day would have snapped out a reply to. Today, he just takes it. It’s probably true, anyway.

Climbing into the passenger seat of the van, he waits for Munson to comment on his drenched and haggard appearance or warn him to not get the seat wet (an impossibility, at this point), but instead the worried wrinkle on Munson’s forehead deepens.

“You okay, Hargrove?”

And what does Billy say to that? It’s not so bad, in comparison. Hell, it’s not even the worst birthday he’s ever had (birthdays in the Hargrove household were never a hit when Neil was home). He’s not nursing a cracked rib or a split lip or two broken fingers, his face is not bruised or tear-stained, and he doesn’t have to go to bed without dinner (although, the leftover takeout in his fridge was bordering on inedibility yesterday, and the only other thing he’s got in there are eggs and barbeque sauce, so what that dinner will be is anyone’s guess. He’s got bread. He can make an egg and barbeque sandwich). So in that sense,

“Yeah,” he rasps. “Peachy.”

“Right,” Munson says doubtfully and doesn’t drive. Doesn’t drive for a long time, until Billy tips his head to the side to look at him. Then he blurts out, “You’re not gonna die in my passenger seat, right? Because half the town already thinks I’m, like, killing babies in my free time.”

There’s so many things Billy could say to that. What slips out is, “I’m no baby.”

Munson’s eyes flick down to his broad chest where Billy’s wet jean jacket – which is way too cold for the end of March, what was he thinking? – covers his tight light grey Henley, and clears his throat. “Um,” he says. “Clearly.” And then he seems to shake it off and looks back up at Billy’s face, eyes wide. “I mean, you really don’t look too good, man. You sick or something? Or drunk? Here, let me turn up the heat –“

“I’m fine,” Billy says, just a hint of an edge to his voice, but he doesn’t say anything when Munson’s hand reaches out to turn up the heat. Instead he sinks back in the seat and closes his eyes as he gives a full-body shiver.

“Shit,” Munson says and still doesn’t drive away. Billy hears him turn in his seat and rummage around somewhere behind them. A few seconds later, something soft is tossed in Billy’s face. He opens his eyes and sees that a ratty towel has fallen into his lap, and when he looks up he sees Munson next to him, holding a soft-looking blanket. What?

“What?” Billy says, confused.

“Off with those wet clothes,” Munson demands, “you’ll catch your death.”

“What are you, a grandma?” Billy mutters, slowly regaining his ability to snark as the warm air is being blasted in his face. He puts the towel over his face and wipes it off, and then starts drying his hair with it. It’s not like he’s gonna make it look worse. “Why do you even have this?”

“We use them to pack up our instruments when we go to gigs,” Munson explains, motioning to the back of the van. Billy doesn’t turn around, too busy drying off. “We were in Indy last night, for a gig. I have the instruments in the back. The others drove back this morning.” A pause, then, “Um, I’m in a band.”

Billy knows that. He’s even seen them play once or twice, although he didn’t make himself known. They’re not half bad, actually, not that Billy plans to say it out loud. Instead he makes a noncommittal hum and reaches out for the blanket, glaring when Munson pulls it out of his reach.

“Hey, no,” Munson says, “Off with those wet clothes first.”

“First you’re picking me up from the side of the road and now you want me to strip,” Billy murmurs, but does what he’s told. Even if he’s still sitting in his wet jeans – and soaked-through denim is not fun – it’s a relief to at last get out of his wet jacket and shirt. He discards them in the footwell and puts the blanket – that Munson wordlessly hands him – around his shoulders, pulling it closed in the front. It’s a bit itchy and smells like mold and it probably makes him look like a homeless person, but at least it’s warm. He shivers again and looks pointedly between Munson (who is busy staring) and the windshield and the road ahead.

“Oh, right!” Munson says, snapping to life again. He turns off the overhead light and finally pulls off the side of the road, back into traffic.

Billy has had his license since he was sixteen, and he’s been driving for even longer than that, and before that he simply walked or skated or caught a ride with friends when he wanted to go somewhere. But he has vague childhood memories of riding in the backseat, his parents in the front, at night, during the rain. Of leaning his forehead against the cold glass, feeling the car’s vibrations around him, and looking out in the dark – the only light coming from houses they passed and the other cars’ headlights and their reflections on the wet asphalt. It’s calming, and strangely familiar, and he can feel his eyes flutter shut.

Of course, it doesn’t last.

“So, um,” comes Munson’s voice from beside him, breaking the relative silence. “What were you doing out here anyway?”

“Car broke down,” Billy says, keeping it short. Not having the energy to go into his plans for the day and the way they fell through.

“Oh. That sucks.”

“Yeah.”

A beat, then, “Were you coming down from Indy too, or …?” Seems like Munson doesn’t like the silence. Billy doesn’t get why he doesn’t just put the music back on. Can’t he see that Billy isn’t exactly in a chatty mood?

“Nope. I was heading there but …”

“But your car broke down?”

“Yeah.”

“Hm.”

And Billy thinks that’s gonna be the end of it. He leans his head on the window and closes his eyes. Listens to the rattling rumble of the engine (Billy’s no mechanic, but he thinks that the van may be heading in the direction of the Camaro, too), and tries not to think.

It doesn’t work. Munson is quiet for maybe a minute before he starts, “So what were you gonna do in Ind–?”

And Billy snaps.

“Listen, man, I’ve had a really bad day. I get that you’re just trying to make conversation but I’m cold and wet and I’m not getting to Indianapolis tonight, so I’ll miss the concert and my car is broken down in a garage thirty miles from home and she’ll be there for a week, and I’m pretty sure they ripped me off when they said how much it’s gonna cost to fix her up.” He takes a breath, trying to keep calm. “I’m grateful to you for driving me back, but like, I’m not exactly the best of company right now.”

To his credit, Munson just nods, eyes wide and ringed fingers gripping the wheel harder. “Got it. Sorry.”

And that’s not … That’s not what Billy wanted. Munson has nothing to apologize for, Billy’s just in a shitty mood. But before he can figure out a way to voice this, Munson has reached out and turned the music back on, quickly turning the volume down to something more resembling background noise.

Billy relaxes back in the seat and pulls the blanket closer around him. Looks out through the windshield, watching the wipers push off the rain and more water cover the glass between every swipe, looking out at the road ahead and the red lights of the nearest car, still far in front of them.

Without really knowing why, he says,

“I’m turning twenty today.”

He doesn’t say it very loudly and he regrets it as soon as the words are out of his mouth. Half-hopes that Munson wouldn’t have heard him. But of course he did.

“Really?” comes Munson’s voice, a hint of excitement. “Happy bir–“

“Don’t,” Billy says, and it comes too fast and sounds too hard. It’s not Munson’s fault. He drags a hand down his face and says, “Please” (to soften the blow), “don’t.” He swallows. Closes his eyes against the way they are burning, suddenly. “Just drive me home.”

No more words comes from Munson, and they drive on into the night.

~~~

Billy flinches awake a little while later, not even realizing that he’d fallen asleep. He rubs at his eyes and that’s when he realizes that he’s only wearing an itchy blanket on his upper body, which is when he remembers where he is and why.

He groans.

“We’re not back yet,” Munson says, voice subdued, and that’s when Billy realizes that they’ve stopped and that the music has been switched off. “I just gotta fill her up, and maybe get a few things. You can go back to sleep if you want.”

Billy’s face burns; that makes it sounds as if he’s a toddler who needs his sleep (never mind that his plans when he got home had been to just faceplant into his bed and preferably sleep for a week). To show that he will do no such thing, he sits up straighter and looks around.

They’ve stopped at a gas station. It’s brightly lit up in the dark of the night, artificial lights making Billy’s headache worsen when he squints out through the window. He knows he should go out there and offer to pay for at least some of the gas – that’s what a decent person would do – but Billy’s shirtless under the blanket. His jeans and shoes are damp and uncomfortable; he doesn’t really want to move right now. Besides, he’ll need every cent he has to pay the mechanic so he can get his baby back.

Still, he feels bad. And then he gets angry for feeling bad, because he has so much other shit to feel bad about right now and the last thing he needs is a guilt trip. Even if he’s guilt-tripping himself.

He groans again, leaning forward to rest his forehead on the dashboard to hide from the gas station lights and listening to Munson fiddling with the pump outside the car.

It’s a couple of minutes before the door to the driver’s side opens, and Munson climbs in. The door closes behind him, but Billy doesn’t look up, even as he hears Munson rip open something that crinkles. He waits for the sound of chewing, or for the car to start, but there’s nothing. Nothing for a long time.

Eventually, he turns his head to the side and opens his eyes. And there, right in front of his face is …

A muffin.

He sits up. Blinks.

In Munson’s lap is a four-pack of cheap chocolate chip muffins that he obviously just bought inside the gas station. The packaging has been torn open, and he’s holding one of them out to Billy.

“Happy birthday, man,” he says.

The muffin has a candle in it.

Or no, not a candle. It’s a blunt.

Billy barks out a laugh, and Eddie – whose face has been carefully open and neutral until now – visibly tries tampering down on a smile. He gives the muffin a little shake and raises his eyebrows until Billy’s hand sneaks out from under the blanket and takes it.

“Cute,” he says, voice low, as he gently picks out the blunt. He doesn’t have a pocket that isn’t wet, so he puts it down in his lap, on top of the blanket.

Munson starts the car without acknowledging the gift, but he grabs his own muffin as he starts the car and drives back out on the road, biting off the top of it while he drives one-handed.

The music turned back on when the car did, so they’re back to driving through the darkness to the sound of heavy metal. Billy picks at his muffin, and looks down to the little gift in his lap. The white of the rolled-up paper is visible against the dark brown of the blanket, even in the low light of the night. He thinks about the events of the day, and the plans that fell through, and about his car. He thinks about his place in Hawkins, and how no one has probably knocked on his door today even though they know where he lives. He thinks about his previous birthday, and how much they sucked.

Perhaps he should have known better than having such high expectations for today. Just because it’s his first birthday on his own doesn’t mean that everything will suddenly be perfect. It’s him, after all. He should have known to scale it down a bit.

A gas station cupcake, a blunt, and a friendly face. A warm car, a blanket and ‘happy birthday’.

A friend.

Billy’s eyes burn again, and he blinks and blinks and is grateful that the overhead lamp is off while they continue to drive without speaking. As they get back to Hawkins and Billy sees the hated ‘Welcome to Hawkins’s sign lit up by the van’s headlights, he clears his throat.

“Thank you.”

[beenbaanbuun]

growing up and being told you’re ’too much’ by everyone you meet does something strange to a person’s psyche. how is it that every time i feel anything other than stoicism i automatically feel like no one else has ever been a bigger burden on the planet than me? even when i express joy, there is usually so much guilt intertwined with it that i usually end up feeling the need to apologise.

anyway, i have been awol for a while! sorry about that! i’m battling a lot of demons rn and by that i mean spending all my energy on trying to ignore them while they keep getting harder and harder to battle. they can’t hurt me if i keep pretending they’re not there!! (yes they can, i am actively making everything so much worse for myself)

[hellsquills]

Here's the things about only feeling anxiety when you're safe:

You really have to feel like your finally safe. And that takes time.

What Stan felt after Ford returned wasn't safety, but relief. For 30 years all he felt was hope, numbness, pain, anger... but not safety. Nor relief.

When Stanford returns, it's relief, then anger, then pain, then numbness. Never safety. He's happy he's back, but he doesn't feel safe, because they aren't on good terms. It's not like he feels at danger, but it's uneasiness. And being uneasy doesn't make you feel safe at all.

Of course, after the memory wipe, it changes. First for the better, then for the worse. Because first come the good ones (his family, his kids employees, his childhood), then the bad ones (literally everything else), and Stan starts wondering whether he actually died and reincarnated, punished to remember every single sin he committed in his past life. He quickly discards the idea; even so, if that were the case, in this new life he has his family, which he didn't in the previous one. Those memories can come back if they want, because he's not alone to face them anymore.

And then the kids leave. And Stanford stays, and stays close, never leaving his side. And even though he's thankful, something in the back of his mind insists that he needs to be alert, in case the other shoe drops (which will happen). Stan is happy, he's as happy as he ever thought he could be, but he still doesn't feel safe. Maybe he never will.

The twins go sailing, after making sure Stan is okay and more in control of his memories, and things take some time to adjust to, but they manage. They sail, and fish, and hunt, and bicker, and laugh, and bond. They're both the happiest they've ever been, and they're not afraid to show the fact that they need each other. They're the reason for each other's happiness, after all, and damn it if they won't make their brother know that, one way or another.

It's been around a year, and the initial thrill of a weekly near-death encounter wears off. They love it, of course, but they also want time to enjoy life. So they look for less threatening anomalies and study those, and every once in a while they'll go looking for the jackpot. It's a nice, paused rhythm that allows them some peace and quiet, time on their own, and time together. It's a perfect balance.

It is then, when they're doing whatever in silence, that something strikes Stan. He has to blink a few times, but the sensation is still there. All of a sudden, the world slows down, and he needs a moment to look around. He doesn't feel dizzy, but it's a strange feeling, a new one. He doesn't like it.

Ford notices the change and asks him, and Stan says it's nothing. Ford reminds him they said not to downplay their worries anymore, but Stan doesn't know what else to say. It's literally nothing. Nothing bad, nothing good either. Just nothing at all.

It's like the curtain dropped and the show ended, and there's no applause. What is a showman supposed to do after the curtain falls?

He doesn't understand why he feels like this, but it frustrates him to no end. He starts having anxiety attacks for apparently no reason, other than not knowing what's wrong with him. Ford tells him it's a normal reaction to decades of accumulated stress, but Stan already knows that. He's frustrated because these consequences had 40 years to appear, and yet they decided to surface right when he finally has a happy life. He feels like shit because he isn't supposed to feel like shit, not now. He's wasted 40 years having a shitty life and now he's probably gonna feel like shit because of it for the rest of his life. And if that weren't enough, Ford is worried about him. Worried and frustrated, because he can't rip these feelings out of his head. All he can do is stay near and comfort him as best as he can.

However, as time goes on, Stan starts feeling better. The numbness dissipates, and he doesn't feel like he's on autopilot mode again (god he's always hated being like that). Eventually, he becomes more aware of himself and everything around him, and he finds himself laughing and crying with genuine emotions.

Eventually, Stan feels like himself again. His best himself to date.

Sometimes the body does not allow itself to breakdown, to panic, until the very moment you are safe.

Could you imagine? Stanley living on survival all these years, never stopping long enough to panic or cry or feel.

Then, his twin returns and for a moment he thinks it's over, he can feel a build up, a hammering in his chest and a stinging in his eyes and- BAM. A punch.

It isn't until they're out at sea, that when he gets hurt and actually gets taken care of, that his body registers that he is safe. At last.

[onceonafullmoon]

And they were roomates

Sae x GN! Reader

Arranged Marriage AU, slightly suggestive at the end, fluff, typed out in like an hour so it might be ass

Sae’s charming, in a typical book stereotypic way, his blunt, chilling demeanor, he’s like something out of a billionaire romance novel you’d pick up, but he’s also not. He watches Crayon Shin-chan, he cracks jokes (though sometimes you can’t tell if he’s serious or not), and he’s a massive weirdo (he finds the strangest things intriguing, an example being his choices of friends). And maybe that’s why you found yourself falling for him, because he’s a complete dork at times despite everything about his initial impression screaming otherwise.

Your relationship with Sae has always been quite stiff, but it’s not something you ever really minded when you thought about it.

Arranged marriages aren’t exactly supposed to be considered the prime of romance, but you haven’t really gone into this thinking that it would be some sort of romantasy book. At best, it’s a slightly awkward roommate situation with a healthy dose of boring that you’d find in any dorm situation.

The only difference is that you share a bed with a pillow between the two of you, (for your comfort more than his, you suppose he wouldn’t care either way) and the fact that his parents and yours will occasionally pester the two of you about your marital relations.

But other than that, it’s the standard roommate situation. Adjusting to each others schedules (he goes for runs at ungodly hours in the morning), setting rules (you’re not allowed to hog the shower in the evenings) and occasional roommate bonding activities (you and him have movie nights, and you strongly uphold the idea that Taxi Driver is a shit movie), it’s normal.

But you notice that lately, things have skewed slightly, you find yourself a bit too eager to see him when he comes home from  practices, discover yourself taking over for the cooking when you know he’ll be late, looking forward to hanging out with him. You notice that nowadays you don’t even bother to put the pillow down between the two of you when you go to bed.

It takes you a good while to realize, but you know that deep in your heart it was obvious. You have a crush on your husband.

And it’d be so silly of you to pursue that, these lingering feelings of affection, when you know he’s only in it for familial obligations, but still, you can’t help but fall for him.

Sae’s charming, in a typical book stereotypic way, his blunt, chilling demeanor, he’s like something out of a billionaire romance novel you’d pick up, but he’s also not. He watches Crayon Shin-chan, he cracks jokes (though sometimes you can’t tell if he’s serious or not), and he’s a massive weirdo (he finds the strangest things intriguing, an example being his choices of friends). And maybe that’s why you found yourself falling for him, because he’s a complete dork at times despite everything about his initial impression screaming otherwise.

Anyway, it all comes to a head one night as the both of you are baking in the kitchen, your hands and clothes stained with flour as you set to work rolling out the dough for cinnamon rolls, him being occupied with the creating the batter for the pumpkin bar recipe you showed him (you knew he wouldn’t eat any of your baked goods on the account of his diet, so you compromised with this). It’s simple and domestic, and you can’t help the way your heart races slightly in your chest as you try to focus on the way you carefully push your rolling pin across the expanse of the tan dough.

You’ve been absentmindedly chatting for sometime when suddenly the topic of your marriage is brought up, and you laugh as you tell him that you weren’t exactly sure what marriage would be, but you didn’t expect it to be like this.

“Is it worse or better?” Sae asks, pouring the batter into the tray carefully, using his spatula to maneuver the liquid out.

You pause to consider this as you reach over for your brown sugar and cinnamon mixture to spread over the dough. 

“It’s not worse than what I thought the worst case scenario would be, but it’s not better than the best case scenario.” You answer, looking at him with a slight smile.

He looks up at you then, mildly curious as he sets his bowl down, the batter spread out evenly in the pan in a way that’s so infuriatingly perfect compared to your slightly clumpy spread and speaks, his cool tone betraying nothing of his own feelings on the matter.

“And what would have been your best case scenario?”

You’re tempted to respond comically, an image of an Adonis with a heart of gold and the charisma of a prince flitting through your mind, your imaginary husband having both the ability to lead a university lecture and yet somehow also only listen to you during arguments, but you shrug and decide to be honest. 

“I think my best case scenario would have had a bit more romance.” You say, starting in on carefully rolling up your dough. 

“Not that we aren’t madly attracted to each other.” You add on as an afterthought, a slightly bitter smile on your face as you consider your own one sided secret infatuation. “Which reminds me, when exactly are you going to fall in love with me?”

You can already see his reaction, the blank look he’ll give you when you bother him too much with your jokes, a dry scoff leaving his lips as he stares at you with a disbelieving demeanor, probably paired with an eye roll if he’s feeling particularly catty.

“I already have.” He says instead, making you pause in your actions, your dough half rolled as you look up at him.

You can’t usually tell when Sae is joking, it’s true, but you can tell when he’s really serious about something, the way his body shifts to face you as he begins to talk, even the slow smooth candace of his tone, but the most important give away is the way his eyes narrow slightly, the green in them becoming even more piercing.

For a moment, you’re stuck there, frozen in place as the implications of the words really start to sink in, awe struck by the realization that what you wanted, what was something so close, yet so impossibly far away, was right there in your grasp.

And then the oven beeps, and the world resumes motion as you watch him absentmindedly put the tray inside, clueless to how you’re feeling as he shuts the door in place.

“I’ll be back later then, I’m going to shower.” He says, and you can’t tell if you’re still breathing. 

It must be nice being emotionally dense you think, but as you see a hint of a smirk on his face you realize that you might be wrong about his sensitivity towards emotions.

“You should be more firm with your boundaries starting now though.” He says over his shoulder. “I’ve got needs too and I won’t be able to hold back if you keep forgetting to put that pillow down.”

The words echo in your mind as you look after him as he leaves, your dough half rolled into a tube as you struggle to process what just took place. Eventually, you manage to form a single thought as you stand there, face flushed.

Asshole.

[pricegouge]

and suddenly i’m on my knees begging for more dad!price

been thinking about post apocalypse daddaughter lately because even the escapist fantasies are getting dark...

just imagine going home when everything starts going to shit because your dad has a plan for everything and you're not actually surprised when he calls you home because he's got a bunker and a bed with your name on it, missy, so you do, but then -

when you get there you're greeted by his pained cries and it shakes you worse than the news. youve never seen your father cry and you're at his side in seconds, holding his cheeks while you ask him what's wrong and letting him pull you into a bear hug so he can sob into your crown about how your mother didn't make it. among the first wave of casualties. just the two of you now.

you're so upset you can't even find the humor in the situation when you locate that bed with your name on it, a small cradle in the only spare room in the bunker. your dad apologizes, says he built the place when you were still young but never got around to updating it with age. had hoped he wouldn't need it after all. he says you can take the master, that he'll be okay on the couch, but his eyes are still puffy and his knees pop when he sits and honestly you think you need his comfort just as much as he clearly needs yours right now so you say you'll share the bed for the night. can always figure something else out later.

but of course between the loneliness and the lack of options, you never do. and what happens when the world is ending doesn't actually count against your soul, does it?

and if anything ever comes of it, there's always that bed with your name on it.

[t-chlmt-blog]

ADHD!reader x Spencer Reid

when reader gets overstimulated at the office spencer finds her in an odd spot and helps calm her down.

word cound: 0.7k

warnings: mentions of neurodivergence, mentions of breakdowns, i dont think there anything else but lmk!

also pls be kind this is my first fic!

The hum of the AC in the bullpen is boring into your skull. Along with the chatter of other agents, all the sensations are getting to be too much. The stack of paperwork on your desk hasn’t gotten any smaller in the past hour and your legs started aching from sitting too long. It’s all too much. Morgan and Prentiss are chatting no more than 10 feet away and you can’t concentrate , not with everything going on.

Standing up and pushing away from the desk, you quickly slip by the duo whose conversation you couldn’t follow mumbling a quick “excuse me” with your head down.

Ducking behind the door to the stairwell, you sit down on the first few steps trying to calm yourself down. Nobody really ever comes this way unless the elevators were out of service. The stairwell is quiet but each small movement creates an echo that provokes that suffocating feeling of overstimulation. Normally in a situation like this, you’d let Spencer know and he’d sit with you, toning down his rambling as he lists grounding techniques for you to try, however, today was a bad one gone worse and the thought of anyone talking is almost enough to send you into a full blow meltdown. You feel hot and stuffy and realize the water bottle, full of ice cold water from this morning was still at your desk. Great.

You’re focused on the cool tile beneath you, laying your palms down trying to cool down, when you hear footsteps coming up the stairs. You hadn’t payed much attention to the fact Spencer had been missing from the bullpen and didn’t even realize he had been a floor down this whole time. Sometimes when he needs a bit longer to think he takes the stairs to his destination.

“What are you doing out here?” He asked with that slight smile and gentle voice. He knows all too well the struggles of neurodiversity and finds that he two of you can relate to each other more so than the rest of the team.

Your head whips up and to the right, where Spencer has suddenly appeared, why didn’t you hear his footsteps before? “Just needed a second, it got kinda stuffy out there”, a simple explanation he understood to be more than you’re making it out to be. Years of masking and trying to fit in, you could handle a lot before you would totally break down, having learned where your threshold for this sort of thing was so as to not make a fool of yourself in front of other people.

“Are you ok, do you feel well?” Spencer asks, putting down his files next to you, attempting to look for any tell tale signs of illness or injury. When he finds nothing too concerning, just your flushed skin, starting to bead with sweat, he sits next to you. He’s been looking out for you a lot more recently, both in and out of the office and field.

“I just didn’t get enough sleep and the bullpen’s too loud and those lights were starting to bug me.” As soon as you told Spencer the reason for your hiding, he understood. He’s no stranger to feeling overstimulated like this and knows you aren’t either. Conversations on the jet and in the break room detailed the feelings you both shared being neurodivergent. Although Spencers brain worked almost completely opposite of yours, you both understood each other fairly well.

“Here,” he says gently taking your hand in his, feeling the heat, placing them in a new spot on he tile. Since he’d come up the stairs, you hadn’t moved an inch, it felt refreshing against your hot palms once again. “Would leaning against the wall help at all?” You hadn’t tried it but inched backwards and turned so the your back connected with the wall.

Your eyes close in relief. You hadn’t realized it but from ay one, Spencer has started to pick up on all the details and quirks that make you , you. Of course his eidetic memory helps, but somethings he just gets.

Starting to cool down, in the comfortable silence you open your eyes and look to Spencer and his brown eyes and smile. Joining such a tight knit team was intimidating but Spencer always made you feel wanted.

[cantfightmoonlight]

"I was more referring to how she takes pleasure in gossip. But, she certainly stole the show, didn't she?" The corner of her lips tilted up into a soft and amused smile at the thought. "Fair enough," was all she said in regards to Todd though, in her own personal opinion, she felt that Rohan and Todd both had a tendency to carry a grudge. Not that she couldn't relate. She just would have acted differently if she had been in shoes is all.

"You want to be frank? Let's be frank. Aaliyah did make decisions in my absence and I take responsibility for ever single one, whether I would have done the same or not, just as I take responsibility for how I voted in that room. But, there is a difference between taking responsibility for my own choices and letting it pass, which as I've pointed out to you over and over again at this point, I didn't let the decision to ban you simply pass. As much as you'd like to believe I did, that decision would have still been in affect if it wasn't for me. You considered joining the pack with Jonah. Do you honestly believe you would have been able to if I hadn't pushed to have the ban re-evaluated?" She asked with a curve of her brow, only to let out a scoff as he continued on. "Listen here, Rohan Persaud-Rivas, you can stand there and resent me for the way I voted all you'd like, but don't you dare belittle what happens behind that room. A solitary advisor? The entire Council voted for you to be banned before I agreed. I was out number. Your fate was already decided, declaring war between species had already been threatened and I have no jurisdiction in that room over any witch. So, as I told you before and I'll say it again- while I am sorry I hurt you, I am not sorry for choosing not to pick a fight with the Supreme and put a target on the clan's back for a fate I knew I wouldn't be able to change in that instant regardless. I decided to find another way. I managed to have your fate overturned and prevented a potential target on the clan's back. And I'd do it again as much as that might not be what you want to hear."

"I'm not excusing myself. I'm simply pointing out that, when I step into the Council Room, I am no different than anyone else there. I'm not a Mayor in that room. I am the Clan Leader and, as I've already said, I continue to lead, because I gave this town and the Clan my word and if didn't, the people I care about would be worse of. When my turn as Mayor is up though, I hope you all are happy when Damien Blake or JC or who ever else decides to take on this thankless job in my stead."

"Yes. I made a choice, but so did you. You broke the accords. You put us all in the position to have to decide your fate and I made a decision you didn't like. Me questioning whether or not I can trust you has nothing to do with you having been or being upset about the choice I made and everything to do with how you chose to ignore me and avoid me rather than having the balls to have a god damn conversation about it. If you had done something that pissed me off, I would have come and talked to you, immediately, because I care about you and you're important to me. I would have wanted to hear your side. So, yes. I don't know if I can trust you, because the second I did something you didn't like, you cut all contact. If you were or are mad about my stance on the matter now, I understand. But, you didn't give me a chance to explain. You didn't even tell me that you were upset until months later. So, how do I know that it won't happen again? How do I know that you won't start avoiding me out of the blue and leave me to have to wonder if I did something to offend you or if I'm being paranoid and you're simply busy?"

"I nearly died, Rohan, and I'm tired. I don't have the energy to try to decipher anyone's feelings nor do I expect anyone to decipher mine. So, I'm telling you how I feel which is that I don't know if I should trust you. Not that I don't trust you. But, that I feel like I might regret it down the line, if I continue to. You think my feelings are ridiculous? Fine. So be it. But, it's how I feel. Either we can talk through it and go on being friends or we can call it here. But, I'm not getting in your car if you chose the latter. It's really that simple."

"Well, Dilan has other ways of getting her point across. Someone getting shoved off a stage is about as Christmas-y in Lunar Cove as snow or gingerbread," Rohan replied with a soft sigh. He shook his head back and forth. "I know he didn't possess me on-purpose, but...his behavior while doing so was less than becoming. Besides, he's tied very strongly to one of the worst nights of my life. Again, not his fault, but it's best we don't try to co-mingle. It's not a one-sided sentiment either, for what it's worth. I understand he's very frustrated that he gets injured when I do." Rohan gave a weak shrug. "I wish him well. I just don't think we need to hang."

Rohan raised an eyebrow. "I mean...yeah? Nico didn't agree with JC's decision. And sure, I'll give you that him leaving put JC in the position to make one. That happened. But I'll also be frank, Meena. Would you have stood behind whatever hypothetical decision Aaliyah may have made in your absence? It would be understandable. United front. But if Aaliyah had voted to ban me, would you have let it pass?" He shook his head. "I also don't begrudge Nico for prioritizing Jasmine. I would prioritize Jonah. But, like...look, if a solitary advisor is enough to make a ripple through the policy of every faction of the town, then I don't know what to say about that."

Rohan knit his brow. "You're the mayor. You're the leader of the vampires. You have your say. Excuse yourself it that's what you want to do. And if you don't want to be either of those things anymore, then stop being them. In any case, Poppy and I aren't friends anymore. So, believe me, no one got a pass. You know what? Maybe Ben did, but he's practically my in-law. And we didn't really know each other at the time."

A hand came up to rub at his temple, but actual irritation now crept into Rohan's voice. "No. No. We're not doing that. You don't get to 'look what you made me do' me. You made a choice, Meena. You can't trust me? Why? Because I was upset by something you did to me? That's ridiculous. Completely. So you know what? Why don't we just call it here in that case? I'm sorry. I can't...like, be half-friends, aware you don't trust me. I just don't think it's going to work. For both our sakes. I'll still give you the ride if you want it, but that's probably not a good idea, is it?"

[raccoonfallsharder]

hello, friends! i wanted to give you a quick update. i am certainly on the mend right now. i feel better than i have in probably a week or more, and though i am still not clear of pneumonia and all its complications in my life lol, i am hoping to be almost completely back to normal by the end of this week, if all goes well.

i also wanted to thank you all for your kindness and also your threats and affectionate insults. thank you, so much, for caring. the world can be a hard place to live, and we are encouraged in so many ways to live these small atomized lives. but no matter how tenuous or fleeting our internet-interactions are, they are still real, and i appreciate you reaching out to tell me to rest, and to send me your well-wishes. it truly does mean so much, not only as a moment of connection, but also as a reminder of how well people can care for each other, even those they barely know or never met. you all inspire and uplift me, and i am grateful for it.

for those of you more curious about the details (and the absolutely absurdity of my friday night this week), you can read on. i tend to fall into irreverent medical narrative monologuing (as i do with everything else lol) but i will try to keep it brief.

content warnings for doctors, medical stuff, pain and illness, emergencies, and hospitals.

here's the basic timeline of my week lol:

on tuesday, i got really sick. i tend to not have a lot of normal symptoms for things (i have only had a fever once in my life, and it was NOT the time i had appendicitis, a ruptured intestine, or kidney stones), and figuring out when i don't feel well takes a lot of conscious effort on my part. plus i gaslight myself hard. these are all things i'm working on and have gotten a lot better at - which is probably the only reason why i went to urgent care instead of convincing myself this was "just a flu" and trying to take care of myself at home. i had been having side pain as well, which i had attributed to a pulled muscle, but something in me was afraid i had maybe done something else and caused an injury that got infected or something. i don't know, it just felt connected.

urgent care diagnosed me with probable pneumonia (they couldn't find it with the stethoscope, but they were confident it was there) and started treating that. they believed the strained muscle was not related but told me to come back on friday with an x-ray if my other symptoms didn't improve.

on friday morning, we went to get an x-ray done at 7am and hit up urgentcare on the way back. the x-ray said i was clear on pneumonia, but my cough was worse and my nausea had returned (no fever anymore though, thank goodness). my muscle pain in my back was also so much worse, presumably because of all my coughing, so they gave me some meds for my lungs and for my muscle pain.

now we get to friday evening, probably 5pm. i have a coughing fit with an unsupported back - and i scream. i think i blacked out for a second. my partner came in running. i couldn't move. i've never been in so much pain in my life, and i have a stupid-high pain tolerance. (this is another part of my issue with figuring out when i don't feel well). at this point, the pain had suddenly migrated. it felt like it was grinding down through my flank and into my groin. the location felt very similar to a kidney stone but it was unlike anything i had ever experienced before. i was sweating, trying to walk to the car and then up through the hospital doors. the guard at the front was like "get this woman a wheelchair" lollol.

it was a pretty crowded night so when we were admitted, we were stuck in the hall, which was fine by me. the doctors and nurses were all lovely (my partner believes we were the favorites on the floor because we are very easy-going and also funny lol. i think he has a slightly-inflated view of us but whatever, one of us is wrong and i'm happy if it's me). anyway, the med staff all seemed to think - like me - that perhaps all my symptoms had actually been a kidney stone, and that it was the cough that was unrelated, rather than the muscle pain. so eventually i go back a CT. The scan comes back an hour or so later and, surprise, it is still pneumonia (of course it was able to pick up what an x-ray couldn't). What it also noticed is that the pneumonia had inflamed my entire diaphragm. i do not remember learning much about the diaphragm in school but i knew from logic that it had something to do with respiration because of my choir- and stage-inclined friends. but it does a lot of other things as well (like puppeteering the bladder) and impacts a lot of systems and also, apparently, causes a lot of fucking pain when inflamed.

so. they had already given me some pretty hefty anti-inflammatories. they tell me they'd actually like to replace the seven other drugs the urgent care doctors have me on with one different one. it should totally knock out the pneumonia, especially since i will be starting with a full course of the medication after already tackling the pneumonia with the other antibiotics since tuesday. this sounds great to me, and i say sure. they give me the new drug and discharge me, more quickly than i have ever seen a discharge take place, and i was on my way - already feeling better than i had in days thanks to the antiinflammatory they'd given me before.

here's where the night gets spicy

we get in the car, i'm feeling better than i have in days, it's all good. we hit the freeway and i'm like. huh. my face feels funny.

my partner's like.... what.

i'm like, i don't know? my face feels funny? not itchy or anything, but like.... weird?

he says, should we go back?

i'm like... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i genuinely cannot identify this sensation.

then something switches, and i'm like... oh yeah, okay. my mouth and face all feel like... not itchy, but fuzzy. staticky. and while i have not had this kind of reaction before (like everything else, my allergies show up weirdly), i have heard about it. so i say, yeah.... i think we should go back. my throat's a little tight, but there's no swelling on my face, no hives - because again, i am weirdly symptomatic. and because i'm aces at gaslighting myself, i say, maybe i'm overreacting?

which is when i realize that at some point, my partner has called 911. i answer some questions but it's definitely hard to keep my eyes open. and then the car is pulled over, and there are EMTs. and my partner tells them i've been passing out at thirty second intervals. i tell them i'm just being a drama queen and i'm probably overreacting. they apparently think that's some bullshit and i get my very first ambulance ride. i'm phasing in and out - pretty badly hypotensive with really low blood pressure, but still - no visible swelling. my throat is tight enough that my voice sounds like that of a ninety-year-old who's been smoking four packs a day her entire life, but there's nothing they can SEE, other than that i'm "cold and clammy" (rude, lol). still, they stick me with epinephrine and give me some O2 and take me right back to where i come from.

one of the nurses from earlier sees me being wheeled in (to a room, this time - no hallways for repeat customers, i guess) and she is like, "NO! miss dae! why are you back?!!" and i say, "because i missed you. and i wanted the room upgrade."

and then i start giggling hysterically.

and the registering nurse asks me if i consent to have my insurance billed and i say, "FUCK YEAH. fuck those guys" and giggle some more. i don't know if that was the epinephrine or just pure delirium at that point.

then i start crying because i feel so bad about coming back, again. all my self-gaslighting really coming out to the forefront. and they're like, NO, you did absolutely what you should have done, don't be silly.

they get me all settled and are shooting me up with a ton of antihistamines, and finally let me partner back, and my voice still sounds like rocks going through a meat grinder but you know what? you know what antihistimines do? THEY DECREASE INFLAMMATION. so my diaphragm is feeling better than it has in like, a week.

my doctor from earlier comes in, and he clearly felt so bad about everything. he tells me to return to my previous course of drugs, and puts this one in my file as another allergen. after about an hour of fluids and watching me, they release us. we get home at 3:30am and crawl into bed, safe as houses.

now, i can't really say "the end." the pneumonia's not gone yet, and i still have some ongoing pain from my diaphragm. additionally, a coughing fit that happened later that night does seem to have damaged an old surgery site (probably because of the diaphragm muscle, actually), so i need to get that checked out this week too. BUT. i am feeling so much better than i have all week. i am privileged to have decent insurance and while we do have to live pretty frugally, we make ends meet. we're lucky that we will be able to take care of these bills when they come.

and honestly? that shit is FUNNY. (i mean, for me. definitely not for my poor partner who probably lost twenty-seven years off his life; pray for him). i can't wait to really perfect the way i tell this story because it's HILARIOUS. like. what the fuck

anyway if you actually read all this, first of all, wow. second of all. i appreciate you. thank you for worrying about me, for wondering about me, and for caring in general. i'm so grateful, and i hope that you have everything you need, today and every day moving forward.

[haredjarris]

The Substance is a documentary ✌️😊

[triglycercule]

can the mtt commit more crimes that just murder please i know theyre the MURDER time trio but ppppleasse,,,, please,,,,,,

they'd be terrible to be next to on the highway. horror's going 160 mph amd has long past gone over the speed limit. dust's out for BLOOD and by blood i mean your tires. he's somehow sniping those round rubber wheels from the high moving vehicle with the precision of a master fruit ninja player. if your car explodes or flips over in the process that's not his fault. and then to make matters worse for everyone on the highway killer's in the backseat scratching up the doors and windows of your car with a knife everytime horror gets close to another car and oops he accidentally just disfigured your face also did i mention theyre all drunk during this

ok so theyve all got the classic face WHY DONT THEY ABUSE IT!!!! horror gets to do a little paper mache to cover up his head hole and then wearing glasses. killer i dont know what the FUCK he can do to get rid of his perpetual tears but let's just pretend that theyre conveniently gone for now. and then all dust has to do is put down his hood! anyways identity theft is cool. imagine how much they could totally fuck up classic's reputation with this. set up fake tinder profiles and then scam people for their credit card info/free dates (while ordering every expensive thing) and stealing wallets. walking into various grillby's's around the multiverse and telling terrible jokes. like ACTUALLY bad jokes. and then of course just being a huge piece of shit at the bar. god theres so many things they could do pretending to be classic. which one of us is hikaru looking ahh except the only difference between the three is the color of the stains on their clothes (either gray (dust) black (killer) or red. well faded red (horror))

ROBBERY!!!! ROBBERIES PLURAL!!!??? train robbery gas station robbery bank robbery GOVERNMENT robbery (what would you rob the government for?? documents??? idk) anyways. mtt robbing a train except its just a really shitty plan and they dont know jackshit about what theyre doing. killer's taken over the conductor's cabin and now he is booking it. how fast are trains allowed to go idk but the maximum. anyways meanwhile horror's on the tracks fucking up the rails with his strength or whatever (listen i know he's weak but picking and choosing what hcs i believe in is my art) and dust is there to teleport him away before the train crashes into him and turns him into a trolley problem victim. and then of course that shit doesnt fucking work and the train just ends up flipping over and catching on fire or something (killer survives because of course he does he's killer). and then in the end dust just has to flip the entire train over and they just stroll into the part that actually HAS the money

and then they go out and get ice cream. sometimes the murderers need to take a break from murdering and just do NORMAL crime yk???