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#everyone thank gabby for this masterpiece
moraymiso · 2 months
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fly high sweet princess…
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captainreecejames · 2 months
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I Hope || My Ex is a Footballer FA14 Edition
[masterlist][my ex series masterlist]
summary you divorce you're cheating husband and manifest some shit
pairings ex!Fernando Torres x reader, Fernando Alonso x reader faceclaim maria valverde
warnings men who cheat, cursing,
notes yikes I am so sorry this took forever. life has picked up for me and I feel like it's work sleep on repeat so I've had no energy for anything else. I'm not sure I love how this turned out but i felt like I kept you all waiting for too long so here it is.
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liked by yninstagram, gabbybarrett, and others
bsfinstagram karaoke night!!! 🎤🎶
ynusername 🎤🎤😱😱
username1 what songs did you sing? ↳ bsfinstagram I hope by Gabby Barrett and before he cheats were a big hit tonight! ↳ username1 fucking CONFIRMATION FERNANDO TORRES IS A GIANT DICK
username2 oh to be a fly on the wall of this place
username3 WHEN HE GETS CHEATED ON BY THE NEW GIRL AND EVERYONE LAUGHS!!!!!!
gabbybarrett I'm glad you like the song! sorry it relates to you though :( ↳ ynusername it's a masterpiece thank you for sharing ↳ username4 what an interaction
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ynusername barcelona grand prix was awesome!
username10 yn an alonso fan i know that's right
username11 the littles watching
username12 @ lawrence stroll bring her to every race from now on idc what it costs I know you can afford it username13 that's what I'm saying
bsfinstagram you are so cool omg, can I have your autograph ↳ ynusername smh babe
alo_official it was wonderful to have you ↳ lance_stroll ditto! but come to my side next time ↳ ynusername lance_stroll no thanks but I'll still say hi
astonmartinf1 bring the kids back!! I miss them ↳ ynusername they miss you admin!
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obligatory pole but i think I know how this one is going to turn out
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usagoodnews · 1 year
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Only Murders In The Building Season 3: Get ready to thrill as it returns with new stars
Only Murders In The Building Season 3 Mystery fans! If you're still reeling from the mystery of "Only Murders in the Building" Season 2, keep an eye on your detectives, because Season 3 is just around the corner, and it's bringing a whole new level of intrigue, humor, and star-studded brilliance.
Uncovering the Mystery: A Quick Recap
First things first, a quick recap in case you missed the thrilling Season 2 finale. Our beloved trio of Arconia, consisting of the incomparable Steve Martin, the hilarious Martin Short, and the talented Selena Gomez, uncover a web of deceit that would put any true-crime podcast to shame. Turns out, Cinda's assistant, innocent-looking Poppy, was not-so-innocent Becky Butler, and she had a dark secret - she was the one who angered Bunny. And its purpose? to return to the spotlight by "solving" the murder and launching a podcast with her partner-in-crime and lover, Detective Kreps. Talk about diabolical plans!
Hulu released the trailer for Season 3 of "Only Murders in the Building" on July 26.
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What's Next: Season 3 Teasers
Now, the dust has settled, and anticipation for Season 3 has run rampant. Get ready guys, because this season promises more twists, turns, and star power than ever before. You might think that a bunch of Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez would be enough to keep us entertained, but no — we're about to get an extra dose of awesomeness.
The Dream Team: Season 3 Cast
Your favorites return triumphantly, with Steve Martin reprising his role as the flamboyant Charles Haden-Savage, Martin Short making people laugh as the lovable Oliver Putnam, and Selena Gomez once again as the inquisitive Mabel Mora. are in Hey I'm Fascinating but keep your magnifying lenses on, because there's more in store.
Season 3 is breaking all barriers including some Hollywood bigwigs. Get ready to join the cast of sensational Meryl Streep and hottie Paul Rudd. And in case you're wondering how Paul Rudd is involved, I'd like to drop an interesting hint — his character's onstage death is going to be the central puzzle of the season.
But that's not all, friends. The surprises just keep on coming. Ashley Park and Jesse Williams are also boarding the "Only Murders in the Building" train with recurring roles, which will keep us guessing. And if you thought that was the end of the star-studded parade, think again. Tina Fey, Jane Lynch, and Matthew Broderick are set to guest star, adding even more intrigue to the mix.
Mark Your Calendars: Season 3 Premiere
The wait is almost over, my fellow armchair detectives! Clear your schedule and set your reminders, because Season 3 of "Only Murders in the Building" is set to premiere Tuesday, August 8 on Hulu. What else? Hulu has impressed you by releasing not one, but two episodes on premiere day.
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More to come: Weekly Episodes
But don't get too comfortable on that couch, because the fun is just beginning. Subsequent episodes will be hitting your screens every week thanks to Hulu's episodic release schedule. So, get ready to get immersed in a world of captivating mysteries and hilarious pranks from the comfort of your home.
As we anxiously count down the days until the Season 3 premiere of "Only Murders in the Building," one thing is clear: We're in for a gift that will leave us on the edge of our seats. With a stellar cast, a web of mysteries, and the perfect mix of suspense and humor, this upcoming season has all the potential to become a true masterpiece. So, get ready, grab your popcorn, and get ready to embark on an exciting journey that will have you hooked from the first clue itself.
Read Also
Uma Thurman and Maya Hawke: The Mother-Daughter Duo Is Coming to Surprise Everyone in The Kill Room Trailer
Vinny Guadagnino Applauds The Bachelorette’s Gabby Windey for Embracing New Relationship
Meg 2: The Trench Jason Statham races alongside deadly sharks
Don't forget to watch Only Murders in the Building Season 3 and do let us know how you liked the trailer by commenting below.
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Al sighed with relief. “That I agree with. Mary has nice taste but I prefer my lab clothes. Plus as much as I love all of you this portrait feels like it’s taking forever.”
After the portrait was finished, it was a masterpiece. Regina and Mary standing on Al’s sides while Gabby, Sherry, and Amy stood in front. Regina and the girls went to Al. “Thanks for you doing this for us. And for that I think we should give daddy here a little reward.” The girls just gave Al a hug. While Regina left a bright red lipstick mark on Al’s cheek after kissing him.
After the kiss, she wrapped her massive muscular arms around them and pulled everyone into the hug. "Now I think the girls might return home soon, this portait killed a lot of time." She said, referring to them going back to the mindscape before pulling away. "Make sure to hang it somewhere nice, okay?~"
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queennicoleinboots · 5 years
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I Hate This Planet, part 1
(I started this story six months ago)
I was so pissed when I walked into Peter's house that day. Once again, Godiva was pissed off with the universe and got short with me over the phone as a result. I had my own issues that day. Jasper, my 69-year-old client with back issues, was mad at me because I wasn't supporting the government shutdown. Joebear, my husband, was mad at me because I wasn't at the latest government shutdown protest. I couldn't win for losing.
"What's up with you?!" Peter asked in a pissy tone.
I laughed. "Well, I made it to work to put up with your stupid bullshit. What's up with you?!"
"Ha ha ha. I had the strength to answer the door for your BITCH ASS!" Peter said as he poured himself a cup of coffee.
I poured my own. "So what the fuck is your problem?!" I asked him.
"Oh I don't know! My mom is in extreme pain, and my DAD is asking her to do 50,000 things. I I I have to HEAR about it, and you come in with a pissy attitude like you have been for the last two fucking weeks!" Peter started as he stared at me with glowing red eyes.
"Sorry, but it's not *my* fault she's in pain or that your dad suffers large. Also, I'm in a pissy attitude because every every every decision I've made in the last three fucking weeks has been the wrong one! The government had been shut down for a month. Jasper hates that I go to rallies, and Joebear is pissed that I'm not in the front lines for every single one of them!" I said as I took a sip of my coffee.
"Well, fuck, Xara, get it together! The fuck are you taking it out on me FOR?!" he asked as he sipped his coffee.
"Because you're a curly-haired JERK and the bane of my mere existence!" I yelled as I gulped mine and poured myself another cup.
"Ooooh! So you're mad at me for publishing one novel and trying to publish the other?!" Peter said with a guffaw sound as he drank more coffee. "Jesus. Get over it. God Forbid I accomplish something besides be in 1,200,895 porn videos, model for 15,000 clothing companies worldwide, paint 2,000 masterpieces, sketch 5,000 legitimate drawings, and make 30,000, THIRTY-THOUSAND original photoshop illustrations, all of which are AMAZING! And not to mention I've published and written 20 screenplays!"
I stared at him for a few seconds as I sipped my coffee. "You are a pretentious ass, Peter," I said. "Thank you, Peter. I was in two amateur porn videos, never modelled in my life because I'm not as attractive as you are, only painted 20 paintings, most of which are complete shit. Thank you, Peter. And only did about 567 sketches, but they weren't as good as yours are, PETER. Well, I have another reason to hate this planet now. You fucking ass."
"I'm sorry for being amazing. But I still hate my life. I tried so hard. I'm still broke. Thank you, Trump. Thank you, ever-failing healthcare system of America. Thank you, pretentious ass literary agents that would rather publish bullshit like Danielle Steele and James Patterson. Thank you, Republicans. YOU ASSHOLES have the greatest political party ever. Fuck you. I also hate this shit my parents are going through..." Peter started to say before his mother named Godiva walked out of her bedroom with her shoulders near her ears, a strained face, and her arms to her sides.
"Is there EVER A DAY IN MY LIFE WHEN I CAN JUST HAVE A CUP OF COFFEE TO MYSELF WITHOUT HEARING GODIVA THIS GODIVA THAT!!!!" she yelled.
We looked at her and said, "No."
"EXACTLY!!!!" she said with gritted teeth and poured herself a cup of coffee. She grunted and gritted her teeth some more. "Why is this the last cup of coffee left in the pot?! Why? I worked hard all my life... well, minus when I homeschooled Peter. That was awesome." She said that last sentence as she batted her eyes at Peter.
Peter grinned. "Sorry. I'm pissy today," he said as he got up. "I'll make you some more coffee because you're the only person I'm not angry with."
"Thank you," she said as she drank her coffee. "But seriously. My husband has driven me to the point of insanity. Has he lost his senses? I'm 80 years old. I don't HAVE the strength and patience like I used to to deal with his ever-sinking health. And everyone else in the world is incompetent!"
"Oh boy do I agree!" Peter said as he poured water into the machine and managed to spill half of it on the counter. "I'm incompetent as fuck!" He said as his eyes widened and as his smile became bigger. He added a stupid chuckle at the end of that sentence.
I laughed and managed to projectile spit coffee on the floor. Peter was cracking me up with his stupid bullshit. I went to use a napkin to clean up my coffee spill while I was still laughing.
Godiva stared at him like she wanted to kill him. "My Goodness. Everything's a joke to you two!" she said with red glowing circles around her blue eyes. She threw a paper towel roll at Peter.
Peter took some paper towels and cleaned the counter. "Like I MEANT TO DO THAT!" he said as he widened his eyes at her.
She poured some more water into the pot and handed it to him. "Don't spill it this time, huh!" she said as she glared at him.
"I don't plan to!" he said in a whiny, childish voice as he poured the water in the pot normally. He then turned the coffee pot and waited for it to brew.
"GODIVA! PETER!" Jamie, Peter's bedridden father, called from his bedroom.
"WHAT?!" Godiva and Peter yelled. Godiva stomped her right foot, and Peter slammed his right fist into the counter.
"I need you two to get me out of bed!!" he yelled. "My back is KILLING me!"
Godiva marched over to him. "Mine is, too, but nobody cares about that," she said quietly.
Peter just walked over with this "Fuck my life" look on his face. He stuck his tongue out in disgust.
I tried to get myself ready to clean house, but I laughed and cried the whole time. I hated my life as much as they did. I managed to get myself to work, but I was still frustrated with everything.
My phone buzzed. It was none other than an angry old man named Jasper. I sighed loudly and picked up the phone. "Hello?" I said in an agitated tone.
"Hi Xara," he said with a sigh.
"What happened to you?" I asked.
"I'm building a space ship to get off this planet. I'm fucking done with these people. I can't deal with society. I can't deal with my family full of primates. I can't deal with the banks. I'm done with it all. I'm taking Gabby and Murphee with me. You want to come?" he asked as he was banging on shit in the background. Gabby was his old cat, and Murphee was his middle-aged dog .
I sighed in relief. "Yes. I'd love to get off this planet! When is the space ship going to be done?" I asked.
"Two weeks unfortunately," he said. "Good thing I don't plan to sleep. I'm ready to fly away now."
"No kidding. Fuck today. Please get back to work," I said.
Peter walked out of the room and attempted to have some more coffee.
"Peter! I forgot! I need help with fixing my alarm clock. Your mother's in the bathroom!" Jamie called.
"Ugh!!!!" Peter said as he made an air gesture of choking someone. He had those angry red circles around his eyes.
"Sounds like you have work to do, too," Jasper said. "Peter sounds like he is in the mood to be an asshole."
"Well, that's typical for him," I said.
"My point exactly. I need to get some more horsepower on these jets. Talk to you later," Jasper said.
"Talk to you later," I said.
He hung up.
Peter walked over while he was beating the alarm clock against his head. "Did I hear something about you getting off this planet?" he asked as he still banged the clock against his head.
I chuckled. "Yes," I said as I began dusting his office. "You want to come?"
He bashed the alarm clock off his head and somehow managed to get it back to normal. "Dad, I fixed your alarm clock!" he called to his father. "Yes, please. My dad literally drives me crazy. Look at me. I just beat his alarm clock against my head. Ha ha. It fixed the damn thing. Teeheehee! I need to get the fuck out of my house! Please help me. Ha ha ha." He left the room.
I called Jasper.
"Hello? What do you want? I'm not done with my space ship yet?" Jasper growled over the phone.
"I knew that, asshole. I wanted to know how much room was on your space ship," I said.
"I can fit like 10 people on here. Why the fuck not? I'm sure we aren't the only ones sick of this shit. But anyone but you will have to pay," he said.
Tug, Peter's basenji, charged down the stairs. "Did you say 'space ship'?"
"Well, we'd have to put a gold backing on the currency if we go to another planet," I said to Jasper. "Can Tug come along?"
"Who the fuck is Tug?" Jasper asked.
"Peter's very intelligent basenji. The dog is smarter than Peter," I said.
"Well, yeah. Animals are free, but jackass Peter has to pay. I'll give him a discount if I can tie him up." Jasper said.
"Thank you, Xara. If I could, I'd provide the rope. I'd like to put that jackass on a leash once in a while," Tug said.
"No worries. I can provide rope," I said.
"Fuck you guys," Peter said as he went past us to go to his computer.
Tug followed him and sat on his feet. He looked up at Peter and said, "Because fuck you, too."
"You knew I was going to take you with me if I left the planet. Stop this bullshit," Peter said as he looked down at Tug.
Tug laid out and put more weight on Peter's dainty feet. "I would hope so, fuckface," he said as he bared his teeth at him.
"Peter owes me $300 for getting on my ship. It can be $200 if he lets us duct tape his mouth shut," Jasper said as he built his space ship.
"Oooh. Can it be $100 if he is naked?" I asked.
"Hmmmm... very tempting, but I don't think he'd go for it," Jasper said with a chuckle.
Peter flicked me off before going back to trying to publish his novel.
I giggled. "I think he'd like the idea," I said with a big smile.
Peter snorted angrily and had steam coming from his ears.
"Only if he agrees. Otherwise, it's $200 to have duct tape over his mouth," Jasper said.
"All right. I'll put duct tape over his mouth and pay you $200 to let him on the ship," I said.
Peter smirked.
"Sounds good!" Jasper said. "I need to go back to working on my ship."
"Okay," I said. "I am going to buy duct tape soon."
"Good idea! See you later today," Jasper said.
"See you, Jasp," I said.
We hung up.
"Duct tape? Jasp?" Peter asked with a smirk.
"Jasper will charge only $200 if you let me duct tape over your mouth. And Jasp is my nickname for Jasper. My nickname for you is Peetie. And BaeWhuhh is my nickname for Joebear," I said. I only called Peter Peetie in rare occasion.
"Peetie?" he asked with a grin.
"Mhm," I said as I walked over to him and ran my fingers through his curls. "Peetie seems to suit you."
He grinned. "That might be my new name when I leave this planet," he said.
Joebear called me.
"Hold on, Peetie," I said as I answered the phone. "Hello, BaeBaeWhuhhh?"
He growled over the phone in frustration. "Ughhhhh! Fuck this planet. Satanists are at full force trying to brainwash everyone again. SIGH!!!!" Joebear growled.
Peter was laughing in the background. He snorted.
"Jasper is building a space ship to get off this planet. You want to get on it?" I asked.
He growled in bear language. "Yes!!! For the love of humanity, I'm done with people and this fucking planet. Fuck society. Fuck everyone and their 401k. Fuck these self-centered assfucks! I'm done. Get me on first class on a plane THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!" Joebear screamed. "Garfield and Cupid are coming, too." Garfield and Cupid are our orange cats.
Peter belly-laughed.
"Oh. Apparently Peter's done, too. He's fucking laughing hysterically. He's hysterical. He's fucked up," Joebear said.
I laughed. "Yes, bae. You are technically an animal, so you can get on for free," I said.
"Fuck that logic. I'm a goddamn giraffe then. I'm fucking tall enough. Two hundred bucks. Of all the chances to get off this goddamn planet, it has to be with some old fuck who hates me," Peter muttered. "I'll take it. Fuck this planet."
I laughed at Peter's comment.
"I won't keep you, Little Bae. Peter sounds like he is having a mental breakdown," Joebear said.
"He is," I said. "I love you, Buh Buh Huhhhh!!!"
"Love you, too. See you tonight, bae," he said.
"See you tonight, BIG BAAAEEE WHUHHH," I sung.
He hung up.
"My mind is fucked," Peter said as he went back to his bullshit activity on the computer. "I can't figure out this damn website. How the fuck do you design your own website? This is bullshit."
"I don't know. Do you want me to call Bae back?" I asked.
"No. I want off this God-forsaken rock of planet. How long do I have to wait to get the hell out of here?" he asked.
"Two weeks," I said.
"Jesus fuck," he muttered. "I don't know if I am going to make it two weeks. I do know I'm putting in my two weeks' fuck you notice tomorrow." He was a disgruntled drywall installer who hated his job more than life itself.
"Good idea," I said. "I get to keep my job because I am going to convince Mr. Williamson to come with us. He's a nice guy."
"Oh God no. Then I have to deal with Ted the Alligator and Jack the Crocodile. Ugh. Those two give me lung cancer from a the screaming I do at them," he said. He sighed.
"Come on, Peter. I have to make a living, and I still have to put you through bullshit," I said. "At least you won't have to do drywall for the rest of your life in two weeks."
"Fine! I'd rather drill my own teeth than keep my drywall job!!!" Peter exclaimed.
Godiva came in the room. "Why are you ridiculous, Peter?" she asked as she folded her arms.
"Because I don't give a fuck anymore, Mother," he said with an emphasis on 'Mother.' "I'm leaving the planet."
"No you're not. At least not without me, douchebag," she said.
"Fine. You can come with. We can leave together and say fuck this world," he said.
She grinned. "When?!" she asked with bright eyes.
"Two. Agonizing. Painful. Drawn out. Weeks," Peter answered.
"How will we leave?" Godiva asked excitedly.
"My other client is building a space ship to get off the planet," I said.
"Really?! Awesome. How much is he charging?" she asked.
"Hold on. Let me call him," I said as I called Jasper. The phone rang a few times and went to voicemail. I hung up because leaving a voicemail is awkward.
My phone buzzed. I answered. "Hello," I said.
"What do you need? I'm still building my space ship. I'd like to get the hell out of here as soon as possible," Jasper said.
"I'm well aware. How much for a human to get on the space ship if she is not tied up or has duct tape over her mouth?" I asked.
"Oh man. $500. $400 if she gives me a blowjob," he said.
"$500, but $400 if you are willing to do an unspeakable act," I said to Godiva.
"Sure! I stimulate my husband's bowels, and I don't have a poop fetish," she said.
"You're probably one of the only humans in my fucked-up life who doesn't," Peter muttered.
I chuckled. "She'll give you a blowjob," I said to Jasper.
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molliprewett · 6 years
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KATIE STEVENS —— Well, if it isn’t MOLLY PREWETT, the GRYFFINDOR superstar. For those of you who don’t know HER, you can spot them sitting with the other SIXTH years. Most people think that they’re GREGARIOUS and CANDID, but they can also seem pretty  OVERWHELMING and HAUGHTY. Sometimes people call themTHE LOUDMOUTH. Sure, they’re a PUREBLOOD, but that doesn’t define them. (( LOL ))
i have had this app sitting in my draft for weeks now being like ‘oh gabby you don’t need anymore characters’ ‘develop the ones you have’ ‘be realistic’ but i decided to hell with good choices i love molly prewett/weasley. so now learn more about her.
first sad backstory. then fun facts.
molly is tough & loud sure— but she is also super generous. she cares about everyone an obnoxious amount. she has the biggest heart but tends to use it on the wrong people? her family went traveling for a holiday & she met this amazing guy who went to durmstrang. she was swept up in the romance of being in a foreign place & meeting a foreign boy. he was everything she was looking for: tall, dark, & devilishly handsome. molly thought they were perfect for each other but her family wasn’t a fan. especially because of his background he came from a well known family who hadn’t been *open* blood purists but her parents had their own theories. being kind of shunned from the sacred 28 they thought he was going to hurt her. molly loved her family, but felt this guy was worth it. ( eventually i will give him a name )
once she found out her family didn’t like him that much she sort of stopped telling them about their relationship especially once it started getting serious. the two of them did long distance for over a year. molly was convinced he was the one. the two of them even discussed marriage.  SHE WAS ALL IN GUYS. in one of the letters he wrote about the two of them running away because of their parents dislike for their romance. so she went to the train station without telling any of her family & waited for him so that they could run away together.
BUT HE NEVER SHOWED UP. she waited hours on a bench waiting for him to come. she probably would have waited for hours until one of her brother’s found the letter & came to get her. at that point it had been so long that she had given up hope that he was ever coming. her brother promised not to tell anyone what happened. after that day she wrote countless letters to him trying to find out why he never showed, but never got a response. 
the situation obviously crushed her. she kind of lost all faith in love. she was convinced all guys were garbage & the only people she could always count on were her family members. so now she doesn’t do commitment. she will sleep around casually. maybe go on a date or two for a free meal, but she will not open her heart to another guy ever again. ( or so she thinks )
before everything happen with her vacation boy she was warm & outgoing & motherly. now she is kind of a bitch tbh. she will be brutally honest 24-7 because she was lied to & she never wants someone to feel like she did.
OKAY SO FUN STUFF NOW:
so i don’t know about all of you, but i am SICK of molly prewett’s aesthetic being lame & boring.
like let’s think realistically here. molly was for sure older than the marauders ( don’t we love an au ) . like by the time harry was born ( lily & james were still young ) molly & arthur had already had like four other kids. by the time harry got to meet her she was an older lady.
so don’t for a second think that she was just born a house wife that knits and cooks and takes care of the kiddos. SHE WAS A BOSS ASS BITCH.
therefore my molly will not fit the cookie cutter mold fans have put younger molly in.
let’s not forget this cinematic masterpiece
thanks for coming to my ted talk
THIS is molly’s pinterest board ( i obviously had a pink theme going on )
molly’s label is ‘the loudmouth’ because she is never quiet. ever. she is always talking about something. if you want super honest opinion on anything you can come to molly bc she will tell it like it is.
i was going to make her label ‘the gossip’ but then a decided that while she is known to blab about her own stuff that’s where it would end. she wouldn’t be running her mouth about your business. she knows how to keep a secret yaknow?? trustworthy.
she is kind of a lot to deal with. high maintenance af. 
 mess with her brothers & she will end your life.
mess with her friends & she will end your life.
basically she will end your life so don’t even mess with her. 
OKAY SO LONG STORY SHORT SHE IS A COLD HEARTED BAD BITCH WHO WILL END YOUR LIFE IF YOU TEST HER. PLS PLOT WITH ME. ILY.
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under the cut: a feelings-dump over figure skating at the 2018 olympics, a week later!
these olympics have been such an emotional roller coaster honestly if not for my heart rate tracker i would not have known just how deeply i was invested into this entire event. i have anticipated this all year and yet i still have no idea how i made it through (shout out to my friends who watched with me as my emotional support either in person or via video chat). although not every event went exactly as i wanted, overall compared to the mess that was the sochi olympics, i’m pretty satisfied. but while the events are still relatively fresh in my head, i just wanted to get down a bunch of my final thoughts on each of the events. 
pairs:
my beloved sui/han - what more can i say except for the fact that i absolutely ADORE them and i think these olympics have officially boosted them into favorite pairs team of all time (even above shen/zhao). i was (and still am a bit) absolutely devastated that they lost out on the gold medal by less than half a point, i have a lot of respect for the team they lost to (i think i was more sad about how devastated they looked afterward). i still think they were lowballed in PCS in the SP (it really should’ve been a WR), which is honestly my favorite pairs short of the season. but i think if there’s anything that runs true about chinese pairs it’s their longevity and dedication to hard work. if they could come back after such severe injuries to accomplish what they did (becoming world champs in 2017, olympic silver, not finishing below 2nd in any event since their comeback), they will be a force to be reckoned with for the next quadrennial. mark my words, i will be there in 2022 to cheer for them even if i have to swim to beijing.
savchenko/massot - all i can say is that while she was never my favorite coming into any olympics that i’ve followed (2010, 2014, 2018) i so respect her perseverance and she is 100% deserving of the gold medal. this season’s FS is my favorite free skate she’s ever done; it’s a masterpiece. if i had a criticism: i only wish that she was still with her old partner (robin szolkowy) because she and bruno still never look like a cohesive unit when they skate together, and i honestly feel like the judges give PCS based on aljona not bruno. 
duhamel/radford - as much as i really dislike meagan’s air positions in her throws and jumps (they make me cringe EVERY TIME) i was really happy for them when they won the bronze. they were so elated and meagan’s sportsmanship is really admirable. i’m so glad they went back to hometown glory instead of their muse FS from earlier in the season, and they also prevented a russian team from making it to the podium so that’s always a +1 in my book.
tarasova/morozov - honestly with that candyman program they were absolutely doomed to fail. i don’t know how and why it happened, but while i still think they were massively overscored in PCS in the short program, their classic russian style still suits them much better. i still remain curious of what a clean FS would have been scored as, had they delivered it here. 
men:
YUZURU HANYU - has there ever been a more captivating skater in this generation? he is truly an angel sent from heaven to grace us with his existence. i have been dreading/anticipating the olympics for the past year because of this man and the STRESS he constantly puts me under. despite a nearly career-ending injury, he still managed to put together two solid programs (did he deserve the WR in the short? fuck yeah) and in the process nearly stopped my heart from beating (seriously, my heart rate went up to 188 bpm during his short program). i am just so thrilled that his most iconic programs got their deserved olympic moments. yuzu is the epitome of what it means to be an athlete and an artist - he stops at nothing to reach his goals and yet wears his heart on his sleeve at every moment. his future is uncertain for now (i’m begging you please withdraw from worlds) but as of now i would be more than happy to just watch him do crossovers for the rest of eternity. 
shoma uno - i am SO excited for what’s to come with shoma. what he lacks in height he really makes up with his presence on the ice and his skating! once yuzuru retires (cries) he will surely leave the future of japan’s men’s skaters in good hands. i absolutely love his short program this season, but i just really hope he stops making my heart clench when he jumps. thank your knees after every competition, shoma. he’s definitely the most well-rounded member of the sQuad skating-wise and will be a force to be reckoned with in 2022. 
javier fernandez - my sentimental fave. in the beginning of the season i was really not feeling the charlie chaplin SP but as the season progressed i felt myself falling for the charm of that program. it’s just so fun and javi has so much personality. i don’t think anyone skates character programs as well as him, and i am so sad that he is retiring but at the same time i understand his sentiments. absolutely thrilled that he got the first figure skating medal for spain! 
nathan chen - i truly believed that this olympics was just one cycle to early for nathan. i know a LOT of people said that this was the perfect time for him since his body is in peak form for doing the quads, but i really didn’t think he had the maturity to both handle the pressure of being a top figure skater nor the artistry or skating skills to match the top men yet. but he’s just 18 and it’s only his 2nd year as a senior. although i am really sad that his SP never got an olympic moment (it’s a fantastic vehicle for him when he’s clean, kudos to shae-lynn) i am thrilled that he got his redemptive FS (what a moment!), but i hope that he learns that changing jump layout from competition to competition is probably not the best strategy going into the olympics (or worlds). in four years i’m sure he’ll be the full package - with the artistry and technical capabilities. 
patrick chan - i’ve got complicated feelings about patrick, only because while i felt sorry for him in sochi and i appreciate his beautiful skating skills (seriously, he glides across the ice like a feather) he has a habit of putting his foot into his mouth during a lot of his interviews and they’ve unfortunately soured my impression of him as a skater. i never really bought that his comeback was about skating for himself, i always just thought it was because he still thought he could compete with everyone and win. whether or not that’s true doesn’t really matter in the long run, but i’m happy that he was able to land a 3A in his final performance and got that gold medal he desperately wanted.
boyang jin - i love how emotional he got when he finished his free! while his FS is still a little gimmicky to me, his SP truly shows off how far he’s come in the past 2 seasons wrt his skating. for all that the media likes to bash his lack of transitions, he’s not the only one who lacks them and it makes me so sad that he’s the only one that gets criticized for it. he def still has a lot of work to do but i think that he can definitely make the podium in beijing if he continues to improve. he still has the most hilarious mid-jump faces. 
vincent zhou - i was not prepared to cry at his reaction at the end of his free skate! to be honest, i don’t really feel much when he skates to moulin rouge (mostly because i’m so used to tessa and scott’s version, but also because of the lack of transitions) but you could tell after he finished his last jump that he was skating with so much freedom and really enjoying his olympic moment. especially after all the pressure he must have felt after making it on the team over ross miner, he probably wanted to prove that he deserved to be in pyeongchang and he definitely did, landing in 6th place. he really needs to work on the spins and the footwork (and learn to use his arms more effectively) but he’s just 17 and he’s never been to senior worlds yet. give him time. (and please stop hiring new coaches)
ice dance  
virtue/moir - i was really worried that they weren’t going to be able to pull it out because of the judging situation but at the end of the day the stars just aligned in all the right ways for them to win. it’s amazing to me that after 2 years of not competing they’re in the best form they’ve ever been (their 13-14 season was pretty awful competitively). but if anything, v/m have always been able to deliver when they need to. truly one of the best and i will miss seeing them compete, assuming that they’re retiring.
papadakis/cizeron - my heart broke for gabby in the SD when i saw her wardrobe malfunction. that being said, i think they were massively overscored in the SD, which is just bad judging. i think that this silver was honestly the best thing that could’ve happened to them, because if they had won over tessa and scott they probably would have to face judging controversies and shit like that. their FD is such a thing of beauty but you could tell that the audience didn’t quite get it, unfortunately. but they’ll be there in 2022 - that OGM is just waiting for them
shibutanis - ARGUABLY THE RESULT I WAS MOST EXCITED FOR IN ICE DANCE. i’m still mad as hell about that lvl2 rhumba but it’s fine because i was so excited for them that they skated 4 clean programs at the olympics since their last two competitions had been a bit of a struggle for them. i was worried that the past mistakes would prevent them from skating free but they really let it go in that final minute of their individual FD. i’m not even a huge fan of their FD but they skated their asses off to it and you could tell that they were super invested in it and they ultimately convinced me in the end. the fact that they got on the podium despite constantly being lowballed for being a sibling duo speaks volumes about what they’ve accomplished here. so so proud of them.
chock/bates - i’m gonna be honest, i was really never into any of chock/bates programs in the past 4 years. but my heart really went out them when they fell and you never wish for that kind of mistake on anyone. not much else to say.
weaver/poje - i fucking love je suis malade and i am so excited they brought it back for the olympics. kaitlyn looked stunning in her SD dress and i’m so sad that they never made it back up in the world rankings in this quad but they really skated their heart out in both programs (even though i held my breath during those twizzles)
bobrova/soloviev - honestly i’m glad that they’re not skating together anymore (i think) bc i have really nothing good to say about them lmao
ladies 
alina zagitova - while the judging of this event was completely wild, i want to protect her so much bc with all the new young talent that’s coming up she’s probably going to get passed over soon like all of the russian girls that never make it past puberty. she’s such an angel and while i hate her backloaded programs and i hate that she’s crazily awarded PCS there’s absolutely no denying her technical mastery. don’t think she deserved the gold but PCS was judged wildly this entire event so i absolutely don’t blame alina at all. and the mental fortitude it takes to tack on a 3Lo to her 2nd 3Lz after the first combo attempt was landed poorly is so fucking impressive.
evgenia medvedeva - my heart absolutely broke for her because this was supposed to be the crowning moment of her amazing 2 last two seasons but it just didn’t happen. the grace she showed after she saw her score and realized she was silver was just awe-inspiring and it makes her even more admirable. 
kaetlyn osmond - i personally did not like her fp this season at all but kaetlyn REALLY held it together during the free skate where she usually messes up and for that she has my kudos. her jumping is super impressive but definitely makes me hold my breath because she REALLY LAUNCHES herself into her jumps but they could go either way. luckily for her they went pretty well and the judges were ready to reward her if she skated clean. 
satoko miyahara - THE BRONZE MEDALIST OF MY HEART. she is the ONLY skater whose sp and fs i really loved and the fact that she was SO undermarked in PCS is just criminal! the nuances of her arm movements! the depth of her edges and the intricacies in her choreography were so underappreciated and it drives me absolutely wild, and it’s definitely bc her jumps are so small. the fact that she spins in both directions is so impressive and she switches so seamlessly that you can’t even tell she when she does it. i was SO proud that she got full credit on all of her jumps in her FS and she was so close to the podium. i hope she sticks with lori bc she had some real masterpiece programs this season. 
kaori sakamoto - she has so much potential and i’m so excited to see how she matures as a skater! her jumps are so powerful and she has a lot of musicality but i just feel like her programs here weren’t a good match for her. i hated the moonlight sonata edit (why do ppl change the key in classical pieces!! drives me insane, as someone with perfect pitch) and the miming choreo in the amelie program was giving me bad eteri-skater flashbacks.
mirai nagasu - i was so proud of her amazing skate in the team event but i definitely feel like she lost steam in the individual event :( yeah some of her comments after her bad performance were a little messy but i mean c’mon everyone makes excuses after bad performances. men say shitty things all the time after they do poorly idk why it’s so important to keep going after mirai
karen chen - SUCH GORGEOUS SPIN POSITIONS but gaaaaahhhh the jumping consistency!!! they’re so powerful and impressive when she hits them but they take the wind out of her when they go wrong. i know she was having boot problems before the free skate but this is not the first time this has happened to her and i really think that should’ve been addressed. nathan had boot problems at worlds last year and he brought like 3 pairs to PC. karen has a lot of musicality but when she botches the jumps i feel like it just takes the wind out of her and she loses that spark in her performance.
bradie tennell - i honestly don’t know what to say about her. she did pretty solid in the team event and placed just about where everyone expected her to even with a clean skate. she just skates with a very juniorish vibe and i admit that she did shock me when she fell but this is only the 2nd major international competition i’ve ever seen her at so i’m like...should i be this surprised??? the SP drives me nuts bc she clearly has never seen the movie where the soundtrack is from and the FS drives me nuts bc i feel like i’m watching disney on ice. i will be curious to see how she fares internationally from here on out, bc i will admit that her technique is really pristine, but i think she needs like a dance coach or a choreographer like lori or shae-lynn to help her mature artistically.
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Chase Space: (Not so) Happy Halloween
Ao3
Blitzen thought the kids would be excited about Halloween
        In the days leading up to Halloween, it seems like none of the kids are excited about the upcoming holiday. The usual group heads off to school, Blitzen takes his crew to the shop, Marcy clings to Hearthstone like a shadow Everything as normal as it can be. Blitzen gleans bits and pieces of conversation and gossip as he passes. Finally, he mentions it one day when they close the shop so they can have lunch. Once everyone’s been plied with pizza and the drink of their choice, he comments, “So, who’s excited for Halloween?”
   “I’m excited for the discount candy the day after Halloween,” Cam snorts before taking a huge chomp of their slice of the pie. Everyone else mumbles and nods in agreement, their mouths already full.
   Blinking in surprise, Blitzen stares around the room at the teenagers. “Nothing? No getting excited about costumes? Trick-or-treating? Scary movie marathons?”
   Trevante shrugs one shoulder, swallowing before he comments, “Pops, Halloween was always  really lame to me. You can buy full-size candy bars anytime instead of waiting once a year for strangers to give you fun-sized ones.”
   “I don’t like scary movies,” Izzick pipes up as he brushes his auburn hair out of his face, “I don’t like being scared in general.” Blitzen frowns at that. Izzick just recently started staying regularly, but he hasn’t really opened up to anyone yet.
   “Most costumes are lame or slutty anyway,” Gabby adds, setting down her can of Coca-Cola with a soft clink , “If you want cool costumes, you got to a showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show or a renaissance fair.”
   Frowning, Pablo raises an eyebrow at Gabby. “I’m pretty sure the costumes in Rocky Horror count as slutty.”
   “Yes, but they’re meant to be!” Gabby counters impatiently, waving off Pablo’s concerns. “It’s not like they took a Disney princess costume and turned it into a stripper outfit for tweens.”
   Utter shock keeps Blitzen from rejoining the conversation. By the time his senses have returned to him, it’s time to open the shop again. Closing and the trip back to the Chase Space are hazy at best. He’s finally pulled out of his reverie by the sound of Jayelle’s voice.
   “Papa Blitzen, what color do you think would look best on Ramey?” she questions, studying the older girl critically. They’re in the living room, Ramey standing in front of the couch like model. “I was thinking maybe burgundy or maybe plum.”
   Ramey’s face scrunches up in distaste. “But those are so dark! I prefer pastels!”
   “Girl, it’s fall. Pastels are for spring and you know it!”
   Blitzen actually laughs at that comment. If it weren’t for the fact he was a dwarf, he’d swear he and Jayelle were related. “That’s true, Jay, but pastels would be alright with the right costume.”
   Both the girls turn to look at him in confusion. “What do you mean costume?” Ramey asks, “Did you mean outfit?”
   “No… Halloween’s coming up,” Blitzen reminds them, dread creeping in his chest. “Aren’t you guys coming up with costumes?”
   Shaking her head, Jayelle replies, “Nuh-uh. That stuff is for little kids.” She grins mischievously. “One of the boys on the football team asked Ramey out to a late movie after the game Friday night-”
   “Jayelle!”
   “-and she asked for my help picking out an outfit,” Jayelle concludes. “C’mon, let’s go raid my closet.” She jumps up from the couch and tugs on Ramey’s hand, leading her up the stairs. Blitzen just sits numbly on the couch, not sure what he should feel more shocked over: the fact that they didn’t care about Halloween or that Ramey has a date Friday.
   Everyone he passes, he asks about what they want to do for Halloween. No one cares, no one has plans, no one wants to bother with costumes or go trick-or-treating. With every conversation, the more Blitzen feels Midgardian mainstream media has lied to him about the importance of Halloween.
   He eventually comes across Hearthstone and Marcy, sitting around a meticulously crafted tea table (Blitzen should know, he crafted it at Hearthstone’s insistence). Trifle Top, the table, was capable of expanding to accommodate up to ten people and would always keep the teapots, all beverages actually, on it at the perfect drinking temperature. Blitzen was grudgingly proud of it.
   Marcy had adored it, gray eyes lighting up like stars when she sets her eyes on the  masterpiece. The top was decorated with an intricate carving of the the solar system, with a gleaming, golden sun right in the middle of the table. The planets actually orbited around the sun, showing their position in real time. Marcy had bygone a simple sign of thank you and had promptly latched herself onto Blitzen’s leg, refusing to let go until Hearthstone caught her attention and suggested they have a tea party.
   Now, however, Marcy is decked out in a red dress, several multicolored plastic bangles clinking on her wrists as she pours Hearthstone a cup of tea. Her pale, almost white, blonde hair is clipped back with several bows. She looks every bit the princess Hearthstone treats her like she is. Blitzen’s been trying to talk to Hearthstone about favoritism, but he hasn’t found a way to do it where it doesn’t make Hearthstone promptly ignore him yet.
   Blitzen bites back at chuckle at the sight of Hearthstone, however. His elf is in his regular black clothes. On top of them, however, he’s wearing what looks suspiciously like a pink bedsheet as a cape, complete with a plastic tiara on top of his silvery hair. With a sigh, he settles into one of the chairs at the table, attracting both of their attentions.
   Marcy smiles at him, pouring him a cup of tea, delicately setting the teacup on a saucer before passing it over to Blitzen. He signs thank you to her kindly before turning his attention to Hearthstone. No one is excited about Halloween, he informs Hearth glumly.
    Wait, what? Hearth signs, eyebrows threatening to disappear under his bangs. It’s the best holiday. He turns to Marcy, visibly concerned. He signs the letter M, followed by the sign for star. What do you want to be for Halloween?
   Do I have to dress up? Marcy answers, her features pinched. I don’t like Halloween.
   Hearthstone slumps to the floor, the impact knocking his tiara askew. He looks up at Blitzen in defeat. You think S-A-M will watch the house so we can celebrate?
   It’s worth asking, Blitzen answers before reaching out a hand to help Hearthstone off the floor.
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maddblackgemini · 4 years
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Happy Mother’s Day to all the mommas out there! • • I just want to say thank you. And that you are appreciated. Loved. Beautiful. Needed. I need you. WE NEED YOU. You deserve so much more than the words on this page. Than your lived realities. Than the media portrayals that negate your wonder. And caricature your splendor. Than the statistics that mock your circumstance. Ignoring your God-like abilities to raise invisible toy soldiers into Gabby Douglases and Quvenzhané Wallises. Turning forgotten flesh into souls on fire. • You deserve to have your faces carved into mountains. Plastered on dollar bills covering the faces of presidents who have stolen from you. Used your image against you. Lied to you. Made your plight invisible. You deserve to have your brown skin on every milk carton and news segment that privilege missing bodies that do not look like yours or your children’s. On the cover of every newspaper that fills its pages with stories of your fabricated inferiority. Leaving your existence in the margins. Near the end. At the back. We are Rosa Parks. • I wish everyone could see you from my eyes. Read the deep history embedded in your rich skin. The pigment of your imagination. The secrets that you hold in the arch of your back. How the sway of your hips creates masterpieces out of thin air. Reclaiming the fetishized movements of Sarah Baartman. How your thick-lipped words echo the endurance of Sojourner Truth. Ida B. Wells. Wilma Rudolph. Harriet Tubman. The everlasting effervescence of your soul that refuses to be broken. The miniature North Stars shining from your crescent-like eyes, leading us lost ones to freedom. Giving us the ability to dodge stray bullets. Dreams deferred. Project hallways turned Middle Passages. - Open letter from J.N. Salters • • #readreadread #write #maddblackreads #wellreadblackgirls #diversespines #goodreads #blackreaders #booksofinstagram #bookstagram #bookaholic #bookaddict #bookstagrammer #diversebooks #bookworm #blackgirlsread #lovetoread #blackwomenread #blackandbookish #bookreview #blackbookblogger #bookclubofinstagram #moodreader #readwhatyouown #mothersday https://www.instagram.com/p/CABP3ljAwO2/?igshid=wotuoeux2m3h
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notwithout-mymuse · 7 years
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Fic: Misfits and Wanderers 5/8
Fic in which Robert and Aaron accidentally become secondary dads to almost every kid in the village. No mentions of the current SL because positivity is fun.
Split into 8 smaller one-shots because my thoughts ran away with me. All parts with be tagged fic: misfits verse.
With thanks as always to @mrshiftysugden, @portinastorm, and @stulot
Part 1 – Noah
Part 2 – Gabby
Part 3 - April & Leo
Part 4 - Kyle
Part 5 - Sarah & Jack
Aaron is in the pub, just trying to have a quiet post-work pint before he heads home to have tea with Robert and Liv, when the shouting starts. Drama in a small village like Emmerdale is hard to ignore, especially when it involves your own family.
He doesn’t know what caused the fight, all he knows is that Debbie and Ross are screaming at each other from either side of the bar. Debbie seems to be accusing her boyfriend of cosying up to someone he shouldn’t, but frankly Aaron doesn’t really care. What does trouble him, however, is the sight of Sarah and Jack sat in one of the nearby booths, obviously waiting for it to be over. Sarah looks a combination of bored and mortified, slumped down low in her seat like she wants the ground to swallow her up. Jack on the other hand is glassy eyed and looks on the verge of tears, his lower lip trembling.
Aaron downs the rest of his pint and wanders over towards the children, before sitting down opposite them.
“Hey, you guys ok?” he asks, reaching across the table to brush a loose bit of hair out of Jack’s eyes.
“They’ve been like this for ages.” Sarah responds, putting her arm around her little brother. “It’s embarrassing, everyone keeps staring.”
“Why don’t you both come back to mine for a bit eh? Let ya mum and Ross sort their problems out on their own.”
“Can we? You don’t m-“
Sarah’s reply is drowned out by the smash of a glass, Ross having apparently knocked Debbie’s wine glass flying as he gesticulated angrily at the woman opposite.
“Ok, time to go I think!” Aaron says, lifting Jack up into his arms, and nodding in the direction of the door for Sarah to follow. He pauses by the door to speak to Faith, tells her that he’s taking the kids for as long as it takes for Debbie and Ross to get their act together. She nods, her face serious for once, and pats him on the back as he leaves. Faith might encourage her own share of trouble, but when it came to Sarah and Jack at least, Aaron knew she had their best interests at heart.
There is a part of Aaron that worries slightly about springing Sarah and Jack’s presence on Robert like this. It’s not that Robert doesn’t adore his niece and nephew, he absolutely does. Aaron knows because he’s seen the glow of pride on his husband’s face when Sarah bounds up to them in the street to tell them how well her latest round of treatment has gone, and when Jack drew a stick-figure portrait of them one afternoon during a barbeque at Diane’s, it was Robert who immediately stuck it on their fridge in pride of place.
It’s just complicated is all. Aaron knows he will probably never completely understand the issues that made the Sugden family so complex. But he does know that despite it all, the awkwardness with Debbie, the animosity with Andy, and the difficult reminders that come with the children’s very names, Robert would do anything to help them if they needed him.
He’s proven right when they step through the stained glass door, Robert needing only a glance from Aaron to start pulling out more chairs for the kitchen table. It’s Thursday, so April and Leo are already seated either side of Liv, colouring on scrap paper as the older girl works on her latest art project, the three of them sharing Liv’s fancy new colouring pencils.
They’ve taken to keeping a stash of kid-friendly meals on the bottom shelf of the freezer, so Aaron pulls out some chicken nuggets and chips. Once the food is cooking, Aaron leans against the sink and watches as Robert supervises the kids. They have more people than kitchen chairs, so Robert has Jack on his lap, and the little boy keeps lifting his piece of paper up every few minutes to show his uncle.
“That’s amazing Jack… April make sure you share with Sarah please… oh no did it break? Liv do you have another red pencil…”
After they’ve eaten Liv pulls out a battered old edition of monopoly, and they all gather in the living room, kneeling around the low table to play. It warms Aaron’s heart as he watches Robert help Sarah and Jack, who have never played the game before, to understand the rules. The situation allows him to be laid back and have fun with them in a way that is new and sweet as they play as a team. The game is surprisingly good-natured for monopoly, so Aaron decides not to ruin it by drawing attention to the fact that Robert, as the banker, starts slipping Sarah extra notes when she gets close to going bankrupt.
It’s late when Debbie eventually calls, and she sounds tired and sad as she thanks Aaron, telling him that Ross has gone back to his mum’s for a while. April and Leo are long gone by this point, and Jack has fallen asleep on the sofa with his head in Robert’s lap, so Aaron convinces her it’s better to let them stay the night.
Robert wakes them briefly so that they can brush their teeth with a couple of the brand-new toothbrushes they’ve started stockpiling in the bathroom. Liv lends Sarah one of her old onesies to sleep in that the younger girl has to roll back the arms and legs of, and Aaron retrieves a pair of pyjamas that Kyle had left behind for Jack. They’re asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillows, peaceful wrapped in overly-big sleeping bags.
The next day, Aaron and Robert arrive home from work to find two drawings shoved through their letter box, featuring little doodles of monopoly pieces and chicken nuggets. Both go straight up on the fridge, right next to the stick figure masterpiece.
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iguana012 · 7 years
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The Lord of the Wedding Rings: The Return of the King - iguana’s 2017 HELLsinki Worlds recap
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This is it guys, the last big competition before the Olympics. So much potential for great skates, great disasters and great distress; this competition did not fail to deliver. Nor did the announcers, who were screaming out names and scores as if it were a wrestling match. And it was, in one way or another. Albeit a sparklier one. For a brief couple of days, we thought Javier Fernandez was gonna win his 3rd consecutive World title and I almost had those memes ready but at the same time I knew coming from behind like a wrecking ball was Yuzuru Hanyu’s specialty. To nobody’s surprise Evgenia Medvedeva broke a record; to everyone’s surprise, she only broke it in the long program. Meanwhile, Wenjing Sui and Cong Han’s blues for koolk brought the pairs crown back to China and Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir purple rained on Gabriella Papadakis and Guillaume Cizeron’s parade. Let’s start the recap!
It began with the forging of the Great Rings. Three were given to the Technical Panel, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Nine to the Judges, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And the rest of the rings were gifted to the race of Men, who above all else desire power. For within these rings was bound the strength and the will to govern each race. But they were all of them deceived, for another ring was made. Deep in the land of Eden, in the Fires of Mount Timshel, the Philosopher Lord Machida forged a master ring in secret, and into this ring he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate Hanyu’s all life. One ring to rule them all.
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But on April 1st 2017, the world had changed. Yuzuru Hanyu could feel it in the ice. The stars were veiled. Something stirred in the East of Eden. A sleepless malice. The ring was THERE.
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Ok seriously now, this guy had been waiting for this gold for 3 years. The first time he got it there were HOLY SHITS and OH MY GODS and CONTROVERSIES because 2014 Worlds is still remembered as that one competition where the difference between gold and silver was 
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None of that shit here. Yuzuru Hanyu’s long program performance should be framed and taken into the church. Because no one else comes close to his ability to make those quads look like spinning on a fucking chair, all the while hearing music in the background and interpreting it. He really needed this gold medal and I’m glad he got it. 
World Silver Medalist Shoma Uno has been skating to Fantasy for Violin and Orchestra (aka Ladies in Lavender) all season and that’s a song I will personally forever associate with Tatsuki Machida’s retirement (ahahahah) but that program gave Shoma a new personal best, a medal, and a 2nd place in the World standings. Not too shabby going into the Olympic season. 
Boyang Jin has successfully defended his bronze medal with two great programs. I just can’t believe it was only 2 years ago when he and Shoma were battling for the JUNIOR Worlds gold and now here they are giving some uncles a run for their money. His quad lutz is a masterpiece. It can probably belong in the Sistine Chapel. 
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Javier Fernandez’ Elvis wasn’t successful enough for the long program. While he dominated the short with his Matrix Malaguena, Hanyu skating a flawless program before him proved to be too much pressure for the two-time World Champion (how the fuck). tl;dr it was a mess. Probably a ~hot~ mess for some ladies and gents. 
Patrick Chan has successfully defended his 5th place from last year but this time he got a small bronze medal and joined the 100 club in the short! He also landed a quad salchow and not so Canadian axels. His programs this season were great and his skating is great. 
Nathan Chen had boot issues huh? Well honestly, after US Nationals and 4CC I would have been very surprised to see him skate another clean competition because: it’s his first senior year, he is pressured af, he will be even more pressured going into the Olympic season but hey - at least he got a nice, cold bottle of Coca-Cola to make him feel better. 
THE LADIES
And here’s the most disastrous event of the whole shebang. Well at least it was disastrous enough for Evgenia Medvedeva to refrain herself from smiling during a 9/11 program?? I guess??
Heavy silver medal favorite Anna Pogorilaya reverted to the old Pogofalls in the long program. It was almost like she’s been under a spell since Boston and it broke near its 1 year anniversary. That was certainly not what the Russian federation wanted to see, but Maria Sotskova wasn’t much better either. All in all Ilia Averbukh proved his point; his programs can save the world and Russia’s 3 spots at the Olympics. 
Speaking of spots, the Canadian ladies managed to get 3 spots for the first time in a millennium and they did it in high fashion; both Kaetlyn Osmond and Gabby Daleman made the podium. Who would have guessed? Figure skating is full of surprises after all. And it looks to me like the judges are more ready to reward Osmond than Pogorilaya. She’s going with a good reputation in the Olympic season and she has the support she needs to follow the footsteps of Joannie Rochette. All she has to do is deliver. 
Delivering is not always the best solution for other girls though. Wakaba Higuchi was criminally underscored in the short program. And by criminally I mean she can sue those judges for boycotting Japan getting 3 spots. With a 3Lz-3T and a 3F in the second half of the program she was 9th after the short. Really bitch? Really? They suddenly decided they were gonna punish the lack of steps into the solo jump? The fuck? Mai Mihara was great but that mistake in the short program was very costly Veeery costly. And lastly Rika Hongo was very brave. She was tired, she was injured, she wasn’t supposed to be there. But she was brave and I applaud her. 
The American ladies were lucky. And they did enough to keep 3 spots. The judges also did enough there I said it. Karen Chen did great, I love her short program. 
Basically everyone got back home having fulfilled their main goal, except for Japan, who has the deepest field in the World after Russia. For the first time in over 10 years, only two ladies will represent Japan at the Olympics. Figure skating fans are speculating who JSF will favor which ladies are more likely to get it. Will Mao Asada get her triple axel back? Will Satoko Miyahara manage to get back to her top form after injury? Will Marin Honda make a splash in her first year as a senior? Will Mai Mihara continue to stay consistent? This topic probably needs a separate post of its own. 
PAIRS AND ICE DANCE
Aliona Savchenko is a badass. The height she gets on the triple twist is probably the equivalent of two, two and half quad lutzes of Boyang Jin. Also throw triple axel!! Wtf bro my ankles hurt just looking at it!!
But Wenjing Sui and Cong Han were no doubt the class of the field. Two A-M-A-Z-I-N-G programs. You can see how connected they are. Not a single movement is wasted. Truly a gift in the field and I’m so grateful Wenjing recovered so well. 
Shoutout to Xiaoyu Yu for her potato finish! She’s done so well this season considering circumstances. And she’s so beautiful to watch!
Gabriella Papadakis and Guillaume Cizeron had pretty uninspiring programs this season but the free dance they put together was perfection. Yeah it’s nothing we haven’t already seen but everything about that performance was top stuff. 
Scott Moir had to fuck up to showcase Tessa Virtue’s flawlessness. But their Prince SD is great stuff. So great it broke some nice records. Including most of the free dance event (seriously what the fuck was that mess).
This is probably all I have to say about Worlds? This review sucks big time but I’m so tired I feel like I've been competing myself. Well that and the fact that Japan losing one spot really put me off. And I’m constantly worried about Satoko Miyahara so my snark wasn’t as sharp as it usually is during other competitions. This one was too much of a Real Deal y’know what I mean. 
Meanwhile the GP competitions next season look something like this
10/20-22 Cup of Russia 
10/27-29 Skate Canada 
11/3-5 Cup of China 
11/10- 12 NHK Trophy 
11/17- 19 Trophee de France 
11/24- 26 Skate America 
To be more exact 
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Ah it smells like Olympics already. 
Just like last season and the season before last season I’m gonna make a top 10 programs of 2016-2017 sometime soon. But first I gotta get your requests done lmao sorry for the delay /o\ 
But since it’s (almost) the end of this season I want to thank you all for following me, sending me nice messages and being interested in my childish ramblings. You’re the bestest. 
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secretacres · 5 years
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Daily Mars - Sick de Gabby Schulz
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From the ICYMI files (and from France, no less), Vincent Degrez at Daily Mars follows Gabby Schulz down the rabbit hole with a retrospective focused on Gabby’s masterpiece, Sick. At least, we say Sick is Gabby’s masterpiece, and Vincent sure seems to agree: “In Sick, Gabby Schulz pushes further, and even more masterfully than in Monsters, his reflection on life, his life, the world, despair and nevertheless, the desire to go out.” At the time of its publication, at the tail end of the Obama era, Sick seemed shockingly nihilistic. Unfortunately for everyone, the world caught up to Gabby’s book. We love Vincent’s placement of Sick in the context of Gabby’s entire body of work. They all ask what Vincent sees as the same central question: “Why live, indeed?” In Sick, you can find Gabby’s answer. To quote Vincent once more, “The conclusion, meanwhile, comes like a punch after a long snorkeling. Definitely, we do not come out of it unscathed. And that's all the better.” It’s not for the kids, but it’s still necessary and even more relevant now. Go read Vincent’s whole thing. Thank you, Vincent!
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hermannovack · 6 years
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Source: Tim Mosenfelder / Getty
BOSSIP Recap And Twitter Reactions Of #UsFirst Screening
BOSSIP was fortunate enough to be in attendance last night for the very first screening of Jordan Peele‘s new horror masterpiece Us at SCAD Show here in Atlanta. We’re not going to spoil anything for y’all, but we wanted to share our thoughts on the event as well as those of the enthralled social media reactions.
First and foremost, Jordan, the folks at Monkeypaw Productions, Cashmere Agency, and all related parties did not even remotely attempt to obfuscate the fact that this screening was FUBU. The entire theater, sans one gray-haired white man who appeared to be an employee, was Black. Everyone. Prior to the start of the film, it was explicitly announced that Black media, influencers, film fans, and celebrities would be the first people to view Us. We were the first to see ourselves, which is very on-brand for the film’s ethos. Even the official hashtag #UsFirst was overtly on-the-nose despite the fact that Peele had previously made it clear that Us is not about race. But who are we kidding? Everything is about race, especially last night. It was beautiful.
Again, without spoiling anything, the movie itself is unlike anything we’ve ever seen before. It’s subversive while still adhering to and nodding at horror trope tradition. Jordan Peele executes these directorial ideologies with the effortless technique of Gabby Douglas on the balance beam. The pacing demands your attention. The cinematography could produce an economy of iconic movie posters. If you were creeped out by the way Jordan used The Luniz classic “I Got 5 On It” in the trailer…just you wait. Some of your favorite songs will never be the same thanks to the insidious score and maniacal music supervision. The way light is used to make Black skin leap from the screen might make you shed the same tears that Lupita does in the trailer. It’s all done brilliantly.
Speaking of Lupita and brilliance, listen, ok, we all know that the Academy Awards can be full of it, but sometimes they get it right like they did with Get Out. If the Oscar folk thought that Get Out was worthy of their self-serving praise, then we can’t even imagine a world in which Lupita Amondi Nyong’o does get one of their lil’ gold trinkets for this performance. On National Women’s Month no less. Give her ALL of her things, create some more things, then give those to her as well. There aren’t enough superlatives. She’s THAT good as are M’Baku-turned-dork-dad Winston Duke, Shahadi Wright Joseph, and Evan Alex, Elisabeth Moss (OfFred was WILDIN’), and Tim Heidecker.
Screenings took place simultaneously nationwide at SXSW, Atlanta, New York, and Los Angeles, we at BOSSIP along with many of our media peers all got to see the movie at the same damn time and reactions began rolling immediately after the credits ran.
It was like watching a film in Black IMAX. Fully immersive negritude. I highly suggest you see #UsMovie this way at least once. #UsFirst #WatchYourself https://t.co/UOkbwlmZFa
— Jason, Jah, Leezy (@HipHopObama) March 9, 2019
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The post #UsFirst: Jordan Peele’s Nationwide ‘Us’ Screening Was FUBU As Hell, Here’s Our No Spoiler Recap Of The Night appeared first on THE NEWS.
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