#everyone say thank you black swan for that format

[broareweabouttoviberightnow]

compilation of succession characters + the whore mirror bc I lose my mind every time I see one of these

[four-loose-screws]

FE2 Novelization Translation - Chapter 2 Part 3

If you would like to start from the beginning, read a missed part, etc., click here!

FE Game Script Translations - FE Novel Translations - Original FE Support Conversations

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Chapter 2 - Mila’s Restoration Army

Part 3 - The Necrodragon's Trial

"Necrodragon Shrine" was just a name, or so Celica thought. The land of Zofia was under Mila's divine protection. Meaning it should have been unthinkable that one of Duma's guardian beasts could step foot in this country. 

However, that was all her wishful thinking. As Saber maneuvered the ship through the strait, still locked up in the helm room with Genny as his hostage; the waves were gradually becoming so high and violent that it felt as if the calm waters before now were all a lie, and dark clouds even moved in and covered the skies. Yet the ship moved straight ahead as if it was being pulled forward. 

Celica and the others all stood at the bow of the ship to confirm the path before them. They saw a small but tall black island, which appeared to be only the top of a steep mountain peeking out from the sea.

The island, shaped like the horn of a unicorn, was at the very center of the high waves and dark clouds. It was as if the island pierced through the skies and opened a hole from which the dark clouds and storm poured forth.

The ship reached land, and when Saber emerged from the helm room with Genny, hands tied behind her back, everyone else had no choice but to follow him. There was no flat land on the island for him to land the boat on. His only option was a steep cliff that rubbed against the side of the ship, which led to a single cave at the exact height of the deck.

They did as Saber ordered, and crossed the deck towards the cave, then gingerly followed each other one after the other across the rickety bridge leading to the cave, jostled by the violent seas. Celica took the lead, followed by Valbar holding his lance out at his hip, then Leo, Kamui, Boey, and Mae. Last was Genny and Saber, holding his knife against her back.

Then, Celica saw it. It appeared all too suddenly. It blocked her path, as if to say, 'Your fear is not caused by the power I will exert over you. Just standing here before you is enough to send you into pure terror.'

'It' was a massive necrodragon. Its body was like that of a lizard, its wings a bat, its tail a poisonous serpent, and its head a dragon. The rock wall of the mountain had been smashed in a way that allowed its body to fit perfectly inside the cave, meaning that this cave was its birthplace. The sacred light that radiated from within it was as bright as a burning fire.

A necrodragon was here. In Zofia. When she realized exactly what that meant, Celica was petrified in horror. Earth Mother Mila had lost all power over Zofia. And its presence also meant that Duma, the violent god of war, had to be the one who stole it from her. 

The first lesson drilled into the heads of the clergy was that of the Divine Accord between Mila and Duma. Until now, it has been as essential to their world as the air they breathed.

'This means that the Divine Accord is no more. Duma has broken it.'

Celica thought. That was the one certain truth at this moment. Yet knowing the truth did not mean she knew what would come of it. What would become of a world where the Divine Accord was broken? Not being able to guess made her feel pure terror.

'We must restore Mila to her rightful place, and reinstate the Divine Accord!' Her determination to go to the Mila Shrine was greater than ever, as if she had dropped an anchor in the seas of her heart.

"You go to the rear, Celica. Assume white swan formation!" Valbar shouted before the necrodragon's might.

Valbar was the vanguard, with Leo nocking an arrow behind him, and Kamui standing at a slight diagonal behind them, ready to support either the front or rear lines. The slightly curved line they created looked like the soft neck of a white swan. Boey and Mae stood next to each other, making up the wings, and protecting Celica in the back.

Now was not the time for them to feel threatened by Saber and make their moves based on that. Their current reality was nowhere near that soft. 

The fierce gust of wind the necrodragon blew in their direction was so great that it made even the fully armored Valbar shake.

He thrust his iron lance, twice as long as he was tall, into the wind, but it did not cause the necrodragon to flinch as it bared its fangs at him, fangs that bit through even his steel armor.

The beast flicked Valbar's body backwards, and he crashed to the ground. Genny tried to run up and heal him, but Saber strengthened his grip around the rope he was keeping her tied up with, preventing her from doing so.

Leo shot his nocked steel arrow. The arrow flew in vain past the necrodragon's neck, and smashed the rock behind it to pieces. The necrodragon immediately turned in the direction of the bow and stretched out its tail, which it swayed to unleash an attack in front of Leo.

Leo was knocked back and rolled across the ground until he stopped at Saber's feet. Genny tried to bend down to assess his wounds, but Saber would not allow even that.

"Thunder! Cut down my enemy!" Boey and Mae both cast thunder spells at the same time. 

Two bolts of lightning came crashing down from the heavens, through a hole that formed in the cave ceiling, scattering the light surrounding the necrodragon everywhere.

Amid the light and stormy winds, only one person stood, swaying with it.

It was Kamui. With both Valbar and Leo injured, it was clear to him what he must do.

Prepared for battle, Kamui shouted, "Saber, can you hear me?!"

Even in the great gusts of wind around them, Saber heard Kamui's voice loud and clear.

"I don't care if you can hear me or not. But I can't die until I say just one thing!" Kamui readied his sword at his torso, and the two ends of the fabric wrapped around his neck fluttered straight sideways in the wind. He always had it wrapped around his neck, anticipating that his arms may be injured. It was a sad custom among mercenaries. "I was no great mercenary. I just did what was my duty, and I have no memory of ever losing to anyone. I entrusted my life to Valbar. The money he paid me was enough to pay for my funeral. I can die in peace any time."

Kamui judged the distance between him and the necrodragon, then slowly stepped his worn out combat boots forward, one after the other.

It was only for a brief moment, but the memory of their fight against Darth's men, standing back to back, flashed through Saber's mind. He remembered Kamui's behavior then. 

"The odds are not in our favor!" He'd said.

"You got that right!" Kamui answered.

The memory made Saber feel that he'd found someone just like him.

"But us mercenaries don't have to act just out of our sense of duty! The deeper our sense of duty, the stronger our human emotions are. Saber! I can't truly say that I don't understand at all how you feel. I just can't say that I understand all too well, either. But I'm going to defeat this monster for you! I don't know where the Blessed Sword is, but you can search its corpse and find it."

The necrodragon twisted its long neck and looked down at Kamui. "How dare you laugh at me, monster!" He grumbled. "Saber! It is the one wish of all mercenaries that Rudolf would bow before them! You be that mercenary, or else I'll come back and haunt your ass!"

Those were Kamui's last words before it happened all too quickly. He swung his sword, and headwind to the great gusts of wind, he jumped into its chest. His body disappeared in the raging light emanating from the dragon.

"Kamui!"

Everyone heard a howl so loud it echoed through the shrine, even over the howling of the storm. Celica, Boey, and Mae all turned to see that it was Saber.

It was then that Saber realized it. Kamui was a true Mercenary. He was a true unit that faced the fate decided for him when he was born, and tried his hardest to fulfill that role.

His contracts were an afterthought. Dying for another was what it truly meant to be a Mercenary. It was the reason why Mercenaries were so proud of their freedom.

And what about the person Kamui sacrificed his own life for in the very end?

"Why would you do this for the likes of me?!" Saber released his grip on Genny and leapt forward. 

The necrodragon spit Kamui's corpse out at his feet.

Saber screamed so hard the blood flowing around his feet may have very well come from his own throat. "I killed Kamui! I killed my only friend with my own hands!"

His chest felt like it was about to burst with feelings that would never again be reciprocated, and he lost all his strength in his sword hand.

"You beast!" Saber shouted and challenged the necrodragon, already without even a chance at victory. He wished only for death.

The dragon flapped its wings, and Saber's body danced around in the wind. Then suddenly, the dragon became quiet, as if time inside the shrine had stopped completely.

A miraculous scene began to unfold. A red light like that of a newly ignited fire floated downwards, as if it were chasing after Saber.

This was not from the light the necrodragon emitted. Perhaps it was the light of Saber's soul as it exited his body? Or maybe a sign of Saber's divine punishment for his wicked plot?

It was neither. The red light lightly grazed Saber's body as it slammed to the ground, then flew past him, before finally moving in towards its true target, Celica.

For a brief moment, Celica saw a figure within the light. It had several sets of small wings that shined brightly. Then, a split second later, it disappeared.

"It's an angel!" Genny cried from beside Celica, clasped her hands together, and bent down on her knees. She had seen the true form of the figure within the red light that entered Celica's body.

"Heavens, cut down my enemies!' Celica shouted, the words coming out of her subconsciously from the very center of her mind. In her desperate mental state facing death, she had mastered Seraphim, the powerful magic spell that could defeat the necrodragon.

The spell conjured up countless rings that surrounded the necrodragon. Within each of those rings was an angel just like the one that had appeared before Celica.

The necrodragon split into a million pieces that vanished.

Seraphim. Celica mastering this spell was certain proof that even now as Earth Mother Milia was trembling under Duma's threat to her power, she was still everywhere in Zofia, and continuing to protect Celica.

-

Peace returned to the shrine. The dark clouds parted, and it was not the mystical glow emanating from the necrodragon, but now the sun's rays illuminating the shrine, returning it to its rightful state.

Saber was grieving. The only words he could manage to utter were those that expressed his remorse and how sorry he felt.

As he was crying with his face against the ground, someone walked up to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

It was Genny.

With her left hand still on his shoulder, she raised her left hand towards the heavens and said, "This man is Saber. Judging by his current will and strength, he does not know if he is worthy of Mila and Duma's blessing to complete the transcendence ritual to become a Myrmidon."

Saber looked up. His face, covered in Kamui's blood and the dirt kicked up during the battle, twisted in pain, even more so than it already was from wrongfully taking the life of his friend.

'Me, a Myrmidon? I allowed my friend to be killed. I have been stained forever as divine punishment for my wicked deeds. Why me? I should not be forgiven. No… for Kamui's tragic death, I know I will never be forgiven.'

"No, stop!" Saber wailed, but when he tried to squirm out of Genny's grasp and run away, she put all of her strength into her left hand, and kept his shoulder down.

As Genny prayed, the white light that fell over the quiet shrine looked like a single strand dangling from the web of a spider living on the rock ceiling above. The light moved until it finally enveloped Saber and created a cocoon. When it vanished, Saber had transcended to become a Myrmidon, the unit class above Mercenary.

Mila had forgiven him.

-

They found the Blessed Sword lodged deep in the necrodragon's throat. Saber knew there was only one thing he could do with it. He gave it to Celica, and vowed his eternal loyalty to her.

The group arranged a heartwarming funeral service for Kamui. Saber requested everyone that he be allowed to remove the cloth Kamui wore around his neck in a moment of silence, and wrap it around his own neck. When Boey and Mae saw what he was doing, they allowed it. Leo did not speak a word, but slapped his hand on Saber's shoulder, and Genny prayed for Kamui's soul to find peace.

Zofia Harbor was in their sights. Still unable to shed a single tear, the Myrmidon Saber stared not at the waves, but beyond the undulating seas. He focused all his energy on maneuvering the rudder.

Their cargo ship had now officially become the warship for Mila's restoration army. On its bow stood Valbar and Celica, so different in size they looked like a parent and child pair.

"That's strange." Valbar said something concerning. "I can see a light coming from the southern fort. It has fallen to Desaix, and he is already no longer using it. It should be locked up tight."

The southern fort Valbar referenced, atop the Zofian shore's cliff wall that had finally come into sight, soared high into the sky. Celica also saw with her own eyes that there was indeed a light lit on its steeple.

[jimimn]

🥴😭😳🤯😩 My god how to form words... I just rewatched the teaser and compared to that, the haunting choir was stronger in the YouTube shorts version and 🤯🤯 I lost my mind. The choir and the horror like harmonization that you mentioned sounds AMAZING. There is a really high female(?) voice in the very back, holding that note for like almost the entirety of the yt shorts and it literally just fucking catapulted me into the sun. There is a haunting vibe mix of Fake Love from MDP and the choir reminded me of that. I'm really really loving this song so far and they literally just showed us almost the same thing twice 😭 but I'm already so obsessed with it. AND THE DANCERS? LIKE PTD ON STAGE BLACK SWAN??? JIMIN IN THE CENTER??? And the dancers mimicking the choir's screams??? There is so much to unpack here, I need to go on twitter and find people who have the braincells to unpack all this 😂

And now back to my previous ask: Omg don't even mention Jimin dancing in water or rain to me 😭 I would d.e. Oh and yeah you're right, he probably has more outfits in the mv I DIDN'T EVEN THINK OF THAT 😭😭😭

I know exactly what eyes you're talking about and I hate him when he does that. I generally consider myself a soft Jimin stan b̶u̶t̶ l̶a̶t̶e̶l̶y̶ h̶e̶ r̶e̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ m̶a̶k̶e̶s̶ m̶e̶ w̶a̶n̶t̶ t̶o̶ c̶l̶i̶m̶b̶ h̶i̶m̶

Oh, but then you also won yesterday as yoonminkook biased 😎 Yoongi with a puppy 🥺😭

ALSO DID YOU SEE WHAT PDOGG POSTED? Jimin is ending 2023 kpop??? AND WE ONLY GOT 2 TEASERS BUT I'D SAY HE ALREADY ENDED EVERYTHING?? I'm like kinda thankful the next thing we are getting (at least according to the schedule, I'm side eyeing bighit with the surprise drops because there is still a day tomorrow) is the actual mv because it'd be insane if I had to sit through another teaser and not have the actual song. And I'm SO excited to learn what SMF is about and his thought process and what kind of promotion he'll do and talk about his album and his experience and what he learned and maybe Joon will talk about the album too and i will just have so much Jimin content every day 🥺🥺 -🦋

under read more again lmaoo <3333

YESSSS the yt shorts version has stronger background vocalization. and yep yep it sounds like a high female opera like voice but its haunting dhjfhdj idk how to explain it. pls i feel like the song is really going to make me cry.. not just because of the lyrics that might be emotional but also because the intensity of the song might make me overwhelmed. it sounds soooooo energetic and aggressive rn im gonna be so overwhelmed when we finally get to hear the whole thing. AND YES. the dancers the formation the vibes i agree with everyone saying its giving fake love + black swan + on DGFHDJJFD. and the dancers have been posting stories of the teaser saying "the king is coming" and things like that i just think its gonna be fucking insane. omg yes if you find theories send them my way because i have 1 braincell which is all about jimin jimin jimin it is incapable for any other coherent thought <3 (and u did not hear me say this but the third paragraph in ur ask hahahahahahhahha same) OMG RIGHT i forgot they released the photoshoot sketch yesterday 😭😭😭😭 i only saw snippets of yoongi being an absolute goofball i am yet to watch the sketch but i will now after answering this <3 AND YES OFCOURSE I SAW IT. PDOGG. DO U UNDERSTAND WHAT IT MEANS WHEN A PRODUCER LIKE PDOGG SAYS SOMETHING LIKE THIS? JIMIN DID NOT COME TO PLAY. two teasers and he's already made everyone lose their goddamn minds imagine what'll happen when the actual song will release. and god i agree i literally cannot wait i don't need to be teased anymore give me the song already!!!!!!! im sure we'll get joon talking about the songs he participated in when he comes live next hehe i hope he does <3333 and yes please i need to hear jimin talk about it too. i hope he tells us about the inside stories and his thought process behind the album and the songs i would love nothing more than to hear him talk about his art 🥺🥺🥺💖

[stormblessed95]

Memories 2021 Discs 6 -7

So I asked again when I said I was going to watch memories in full if you would be interested in commentary from me as I did so. There were a lot of people who said yes, so here we are! I have officially watched BTS Memories of 2021. Here are my thoughts as I went. There were 7 DVDs in this one. Reminder that these aren't going to be smoothly written out thoughts. You get these like I'm live reacting, texting my bestie or live tweeting. Lol it'll be in like bullet point format sort of, just... a commentary post as I go. Lol Parts 1 -3 covers Discs 1 - 5 and the first half of Disc 6. You can read part 1 here, part 2 here and part 3 here. Part 4 here will cover the second half of Disc 6 and Disc 7. Hope you enjoy anyway! Let's go!

Disc 6

2021 Festa Family Photos Making Film:

This could honestly just be a post on its own 😭😍 with all the gorgeous photos!! Everyone starting off in their stunning white outfits from past shoots/performances too. Jikook both in black swan outfits too! Hopekook almost bonking foreheads and smiling so cutely at each other in their unit shoot with Yoongi 🥺 Everyone standing serious for their group photo, and then there is Tae secretly tapping consistently on Hobi's thigh and bring silly while he pretends to be serious with the rest of them. Lol and then dancing through their next shot too 😂 having a hard time sitting still! Jimin reigning Tae back in for the shot and JK smacking him for being silly 🤣 everyone doing solo shots in their brown suits and JK takes over a camera as per usual. Starting with a test shot of Hobi, turns out great! Tae shows up and JK takes a super close up angle and hopekook both exclaiming in surprise at how he can look good even from that angle. Turning to take a close up of Jimin too and giggling saying he looks like a rookie actor (again!) Everyone laughing so much thanks to Jungkook! Jimin fixing Sope's ties for them during the group shoot because they were a little crooked was so fucking cute and domestic honestly. Tae grabbing Hobis hand to hold during the shoot and trying to kiss his hand. So much love and laughter 😍

Jungkook spinning namjin super fast with him on the merry go round thingy and them NOT ENJOYING IT and JK just laughing at them 😅🤣 Yoonmin being the cutest and pretend fighting lol the editors "battle of the bts kitties" "we don't know who won but they are good friends!" 🤣🤣 Vhope being so cute and Hobi was also NOT A FAN of the merry go round. Lol I'm glad taekook got to have fun on it together after shooting since their photo partners were not into all the spinning they clearly wanted to do lmfao! Even when Tae tapped out, JK just kept staying to play! Vhope might be my favorite duo of the Festa photos! Lol the way they jumped to each other for photos and then Tae just snuggled into Hobi, who wrapped him up in a big hug like a koala and Tae then just lifting him up in response and Hobis surprised laugher. My heart is MELTING. 1st Gif above.

Rolling Stone Magazine Making Film:

The way the concept was carefree and you can tell they all enjoyed just getting to do whatever they want during their solo shoots for sure. Lol Jimin coming to check out Hobis 4 frame shots and going "ah Hobi is playing celebrity again" and Tae trying to photobomb Suga 🤣🤣 the staff going "must be nice to be that handsome" watching V do his photoshoot and Tae getting instantly shy 🥺🥺 so cute! For the group shots the director wanted it to look like a more causal green room conversation/setting. Lol all crammed on one couch? Well okay, that's probably fair for the Tannies. But JK hearing that then immediately putting an arm on Jimin and leaning back against Hobi was cute 🥺 my 3J. His comfort people. He readjusted but it was still cute. Director telling them to open their mouth like they are yawning and the Tannies all just start vocalizing like opera stars instead! Lol Jimin looking at the photos and saying Yoongi looks like a goldfish 🤣 non stop teasing from Jimin today! 😂 Hobi shattering the illusion of them all on top of each other on one couch immediately after going "this isn't what we are really like on green rooms." Hobi sir, we have some footage that begs to differ. Maybe not all the time but cmon 🤣🤣 Jimin pretending to hop onto the motorcycle at the next set and Jhope going "cmon Jimin, let's go!" And hopping on behind him like they are going to take off! 🥰 Reviewing their photos and making adjustments and JK telling Jimin he should lean in more while dropping ALL honorifics, as per usual 😂 these were actually super well done photoshoots AND well done interviews. If you haven't seen or read them yet, I encourage you to do so! More Jikookey Here.

Billboard Magazine Making Film:

The video starting out with Namjoon expressing immediately sympathy for JK in his heavy sweater about how hot he is going to be. Lol and when JK is outside he has Staff around him right away giving water bottles and holding fans. Poor baby, it must be really heavy! RM being the best leader and organizing where everyone needs to go and sit for the cover shoot so well! Really great examples of his encouraging type of leadership though. Everyone struggling with how bright the sun is shining in their eyes and Joon going "just 10 photos, okay?" Giving encouraging pats and counting everyone off for when they need to quickly open their eyes for the shot too.

Second outfits and set seemed more comfy. Lol jikook saying they loved their outfits and felt it fit them. Give them the outfits billboard!! Namjoon cutting his end mentions interview short after his shoot going "wow, so sexy! Rolled up sleeves" because he got distracted by how good Yoongi looked! Lmao I mean, I get it namjoon. I get it 😍😂 and then Yoongi getting all shy about it too and downplayed the compliment. Accept it Yoongi! JK and Hobi also praising Yoongi during their group photoshoot at the end. Saying he "looks like a boss." And Jimin saying Yoongi looked great in short sleeves during their ending mentions. Caught ALL THEIR EYES!

They did a 7 things you don't know about bts interview and Jimin being unsure because he picked something the members all already know about him and JK saying it's okay if the members know but others don't and reassuring him so sweetly. Their little fist bump after the interview started too! During the group shoot Yoongi going "ow wait, let me spread my legs a little" as everyone crowded into the same small couch and letting Jin lean back between his legs instead of on them. Whew. Great photoshoot honestly! Shitty ass article, dont give them any clicks, and they are so undeserving of BTS honestly. But pretty photos for sure.

2021 Show in Seoul with House Ambassadors BTS | Louis Vuitton Making Film:

LV Show in Seoul with BTS here:

The Making Film opens up by blessing me with minimoni praise! Jimin just being like this is my first time seeing actual models and it's crazy because Namjoon fits right in! He can go toe to toe with all these models. Wow! And when Staff tell Joon what Jimin said he was so shy and humble. Lol "that's just Jimins affection for me clouding his vision." 😭😭😭 Vhope smiling and waving to each other from across the set where they were each filming their seperate parts of the video and giving each other that encouragement! Followed by the same thing with cute glances and encouragement exchanged between taekook across their sets too! I love it. Jikook being silly and comparing heights in their new outfits and shoes, just for JK to step back, check Jimin out from top to bottom, a full body check out, and go "you look like a real model!" And Jimin just blushes. Cuteee. Namjoon saying he likes Yoongis outfit best, and he wants to wear it! Hobi being nervous going up the elevator but Tae easily distracting him by asking about his bag. 🥺 I love they chose their own outfits for this too. It's amazing and the fact that they chose their own outfits and Jimin picked to wear a skirt!! Love it!

Vogue Korea & GQ Korea | LV Making Film:

I love that they once again got to pick their own outfits for the shoot here too! Showcases their uniqueness so well! JK saying he thinks he has worn an outfit similar to Namjoons before. And Namjoon just looking at JK and saying everyone looks like they are going to a party, why do you look like you are going to the gym? 😭😂🤣 let him BREATHE Namjoon. Athletic clothes everywhere is an AESTHETIC! The never ending teasing. Lol "your outfit is so blue too." JKs defense of "jimins outfit is all redish!" It's not just you, Jungkook, it's not! 🤣 Jikook really are though two bright ass spots of color in everyone else's more monochrome color scheme in these group shots 😂 Jikooks play boxing and 95z dancing and silliness during the break. So much energy! Not Tae feeling up Jimins biceps and going "it'll rip" in reference to Jimins muscles busting out of his tight fit?! 😭🤣 please! JK giving a little interview after his first solo shoot and getting distracted and turned around/lost backstage/on set! Lol

Everyone gathering for a group photo and JK just plopping down on Hobis lap instead of getting his own chair. FAIR. Jin being a little nervous up high in the set and JK just linking their elbows and sticking by him so sweetly. He is the sweetest man! For the third of their looks, Hobi picked out to wear one of the same outfits that Tae once wore on his own time at the airport. Lol and he goes "yes. I've become Tae's clone" 🤣 cuteeee. For the 4th look/set, Tae is outside and keeps talking about how nice it would be to do a shoot outside with his dog, Tan 🥺 Gathered for the last group shot has everyone asking Hobi about his outfit and if he is wearing a bulletproof vest. Lol which he confirms by singing a line from We Are Bulletproof Pt. 1 and spends the rest of the time before the shoot starts in earnest with the other members punching his vest and asking if it hurts. 🤣🤣 and no one being able to leave the balloons alone on the set. They are so playful. These were again really great photos and interviews if you want to go check them out if you haven't read them yet!

Disc 7

My Universe MV Making Film:

Giving me a minimoni unit at the start of a making film makes me so happy! They are so cute together! The members fawning over Yoongis pink hair 😍 me too! JK can't go one making film without boxing someone and I love that for him. This time it's Tae shoulder/back that is his boxing opponent! Lmao at Jimin just standing there in between takes and JK just randomly comes by to touch and hold his chin for a minute. Why are they so cute?? They spend so much of this making film just quietly talking in the background too. It's adorable. Tae telling everyone to channel N.O. to give resistance vibes for the MV 😂 Not Jimin pulling his phone out to check it after a shot and JK coming to peer over his shoulder at it too! Lol the constant "who's texting *us*" vibes are spectacular. Vminhopes loud laughter during footage review when JK goes "Chris is taller than us, why are we looking down?" 😂😂🤣🤣 Jikook acting out a skit to make their hyungs laugh 🥺 and swinging Hobi around like crazy between them lmfaoo "maknae line and maknae lines boss" Editors know them well lmfao. Jikook getting in line for their filming snd jikook at the end of the line just play fighting and Jimin getting right up in JKs face like that 😳🤣 Just for JK to jostle him back and make funny poses himself. They really have so much fun together. The way they were all leaning shoulders against each other to "relax" and when they finally break apart you see the poor stylist noona on the floor under them Still just trying to fix and resituate their clothes 😅🤣 Vhopeminkook working out using each other as weights lol and then the maknae line making up choreo for MU while hyung watch endeared. Their energy is unbounded. Jhope being asked to freestyle right before the cameras rolled again for the ending scene and all the members praising him for how cool he is immediately after. Seeing them all have fun dancing at the end is my favorite part. They are so cute. Jikook teasing Tae for how he started dancing too was so funny. Ending mentions has Tae trying to wrap an arm around Jimin and almost knocking him over by accident instead. He was not prepared! Lol but JK looking over and checking on him with his eyes and Jimin making that eye contact as he caught his stumble was so cute. Just the quiet making sure he was all good 🥺 so domestic of them! Tae was so cute too making sure he didn't actually fall over 🤣 Jikookery Clips here.

Special Presidental Appointment Ceramony & Permission to Dance | UNGA SDG Moment 2021 Making Film:

Performance here!

The first 2 minutes were just BTS being so proud and excited about the honor bestowed upon them by their country and honestly, same. Im SO PROUD of them too. They deserve ALL THE RECOGNITION possible. And then some. They deserve it all. And seeing them prep for their 3RD VISIT to UNGA is amazing. Everyone arriving at the airport to go to NY is so tense but also so excited. Joon being nervous about memorizing his speech during the plane ride. Jikook arriving to the airport together and both so bouncy and giddy!

Namjoon forgetting her PTD Verse and asking JK for help. And Jungkook being SO PROUD TO HELP and claiming himself the BTS Lyric bot and that he knows most of all the lyrics and the rap verses too. Just main vocalist things! Jin making good minor suggestions to both cameramen and members as they film their PTD performance so that everyone stays the most safe while walking/dancing backwards. Always looking out for everyone. 🥺 Not the cute copy/paste move that ran through Namjikook as all 3 wanted to copy and try Taes jumping dance move! Lol cuties. Namkook being adorable with a happy to be in the sun again dance break as they move locations! The members all laughing over how the doors they have to exit from were so much heavier than they thought it would've been 🤣 The way they all cheer and clap for the backup dancers through their rehearsals at the final location they shoot at 🥺 the way all those dancers had nothing but wonderful things to say about their experience working with BTS too!

Special Presidental Envoy Speech | UNGA SDG Moment 2021 & The Metropolitan Museum of Art Making Film:

Their speech with eng subs here (I love that they gave it in Korean!)

The members all politely listening and nodding along while going through the museum and Namjoon is just super into it. Adorable. JK misreading "hall" as "hell" and Jin being unable to stop his giggles over the mistake 😂 Namjoon giving a speech too! And JK being so proud of him when he gets back to their seats afterwards. Endearing! They were SO NERVOUS for their speeches. 😭 Practicing while getting ready, practicing while getting styled, practicing in the car ride over. Teasing each other a bit about their nerves. Oof. You did great loves! Jimin being so shy about apologizing for taking a breather during his speech and his members all lightheartedly teasing him about it. Lmfao the way he laughed and RAN from them all out of the building. 😭😂 Poor baby. Even though they were all teasing him they were all reassuring him too. With sweet notes of "no, you did really well though." And sharing their pride of him too. Namjoon saying he felt more comfortable this time giving these speeches because his members were there and joining in on it too this time. Their love for each other is admirable.

Meeting with Megan Thee Stallion & Coldplay:

Nah because BTS with Meg is one of the cutest things ever. Such a sweet friendship. I love seeing her sitting between the 95z as a 95 liner herself too! The way they all fawned over her and 4oe! Their selfies together. Talking about things they wish they could've done together for Butter promo! And the way they wanted to teach her the Butter choreo but didn't want her to hurt her ankles in her shoes so they did the hand choreo part! They were so cute all huddled up together in a little circle practicing and then filming their hands all together too. Lol Jikook with their hand tattoos in the middle too! Ugh, love it. Jimin thanking Megan for the alcohol in their gift bags by holding it up and doing her signature tongue move while shouting thank you 😂🤣 And JK picking up and carrying Jimins gift bag out for him. 🥰 They are so cute.

Their friendship with Chris and Coldplay is SPECTACULAR! One of my favorites. It's so cute seeing them all together and enjoying their time together. I love that Chris asked them to sing MU with him right there and then. Just to enjoy their song all together. It's so special. Their smiles were all so big. During they "heys!" Jikook were so cute laughing together and Jimin booty bumping up onto JK and JK unable to stop smiling over at him too! Lol their smiles and laughter all together through their whole visit! The way they were so excited to be gifted modern hanboks from the guys and Chris gifted Jin his guitar. The way Chris wanted to teach Jin how to play the guitar and Jin went along with it like he had never played a guitar before WAS ADORABLE. Lmao. Jin saying it was going to become a family heirloom 🥺 BTS being the fanboys for once was so cute. Especially because the energy and respect was absolutely matched. The hugs at the end too 🥺

2021 American Music Awards Making Film:

Vmin right off the bat! During practice Tae talking about how when he wears a hat all his hair just sticks out the side of it at the length it was at. Jimin just watching him so endeared and "so cute." And then Jimin grabbing him by the neck as they spin in a circle for their "practice" of their duo dance for Butter. Lol cutiesss. Jimins hair is so long and beautiful during this time too! JK covering Jins face with his own hood and Jikook jokingly singing happy birthday to him since his Birthday is coming up soon. Practicing on stage and wanting things to be perfect for their first stage back with ARMYs there. 🥺 Jimin being goofy with the camera and pretending to shoot us and look through his hair. Lol and JK just standing right out of camera view where we barely see him for a moment just Watching Jimin be silly all endeared over it 🥺🥺 Practicing where they need to go for the MU performance too and Jimin just going "I should stick close to namjoon. Namjoon! We can't be seperated!" And looping his arm in Joons, while Joonie just goes "good good" and walks off with Jimin in tow 🥰 I'm so in love with minimoni!

Finally on their way to the show too! Red carpet time, seeing army time, performance time! We had vhope in one car, minimoni in the other and then our ultra introvert line yoonjinkook in the last car! Lol I love all these dynamics. JK being nervous during their speech and nailing it but his cute "we wanna focus on...." lmfao everyone laughing and JK in the dressing room for Butter only being able to fret about armys now making fun of him when he just wanted to look cool. Lmfao the non stop laughter he couldn't control! Cutie. And he wasn't wrong. "We wanna focus on" was all army could talk about and how cute JK was and how cute Jinkook are when Jin pulled him away 🤣🤣🤣 Jikook walking backstage together so excited after their performance and winning the grand prize! JK was PUMPED. LOL JK saying the whole world looks yellow now and Jimin just laughing and saying it's because of his yellow glasses and pulling them up onto his head for him to see without them 🤣 Everyone's smiles and energy and excitement at just being there with ARMY and performing with a crowd again! Im so unbelievably proud of them all the time!

The Late Late Show with James Cordan Making Film:

This was filmed 211123, we know because they filmed it in the middle of traffic and hundreds of people saw them do it 😂 Am I a big James Cordan fan? No. Lol but I do love seeing the guys all having fun and smiling. The absolute CHAOS of rehearsals where BTS are RUNNING but don't know what they are supposed to be doing AT ALL 🤣🤣🤣 Jihope having their impromptu photoshoot for future photos for Jimins Instagram. ITS BEEN A YEAR AND WE STILL HAVENT GOTTEN THEM?! LOL Their laughter and smiles are so cute. They had so much fun together. JK mispronounced Chipotle as Chicolte and the company rolling with it is my favorite thing. Lol 3J all sharing parts of their meals together is so cute. Jimin walking up and JK just taking a big bite of Jimins food with no asking and with zero reaction. You just know he does it often. 🤣 Ending mentions after filming the talk show portion has everyone talking so nicely about how great it was to see fans again and about how they had fun.... and JK is just sitting in the back unable to stop feeling Namjoons hair lol. Up and down he brushed the short hairs at the back 😂 and Joon didn't even react. You just know he is used to the members clinginess and JKs random "must feel the texture" touches he does so often to all of them 😂 I love it.

2021 iHeartRadio Jingle Ball Making Film:

I love seeing them have so much fun during rehearsals together, even as they practice seriously. And I also love when they prove over and over again that their mics are always on! Lol burgers for lunch after practice and before they perform. Everyone taking off their jackets while they eat, tell me WHY DID JIMIN TAKE OFF HIS WHOLE SHIRT?! Just leaving his little sweater on but button so low?! Lol Jimin what was the reason?! Jhope and his Polaroids! The way they all blinked like crazy when asked to blink to give spoilers on if they were working on an album or a tour in 2022 🤣 vmin laughing together over it all on the rep carpet interview too 🥰 Yoonmin walking to the second interview with Jimins arms around his shoulders 🥺 Jhope mentioning feeling tipsy after his few sips of champagne at the second interview 🤣 Jin being so cute with his reindeer headband and Tae looking so endeared!! Jikook kicking off their ending mentions by singing Jingle Bells together! Jin saying that working on his birthday was worth it because seeing army is the best present. 😭 They all wished Jin a happy birthday again! Jimin pulling him in for a hug and Tae pinching his butt 🤣 And ending the DVD with promises to look forward to their concerts in March in 2022 and Tae making everyone laugh and be endeared over his ending fairy comments 🥺🥺

An AMAZING experience, as watching memories always is. And this fully wraps up my posts over these DVDs. I love them all so much. We are so blessed to be fans of the most humble people in the world. I'm so proud of them all the time and wish them nothing but the best, safety and happiness through these next few years, knowing that we aren't going anywhere!!

[whotfatemywaffles]

Haunted

Request- Jasper Hale +  Haunted (Taylor swift)

JasperHalexFem!Reader

wordcound: 1.5K

TW- Drowning, Blood, Vampires, Bella Swans personality 

A/N: I'm scared

Taglist - @nikkitc0703 

Not my Gif (But he is hot)

You And I walk a fragile line, I've known it  all this time,and  so have you….

Jasper and you had been dating a while now, you met Just before Edward and Bella took the spotlight.

And you started dating two months prior. 

You were relatively close with the Cullens, some more than others. For example, you were closer with Alice, Rosalie, and Emmet than Edward, but that was how it was for everyone other than her, Bella Swan.

Bella and you had been somewhat close, well not really you thought she was bland and lacked personality, luckley you had found a way to block out Edward cause he would not take lightly to them.

But alas you had Jasper, and you were happy, for now.

One day after school you were sitting at your desk with your elbows resting on the tables and your fingers rubbed your temples when you heard a knock at your front door, you were home alone, who was here?

You got up slowly, leaving the comfort of your room heading for the door.

When you open the door you see Jasper standing there, with a smile you pull him in for a hug, when you leave his cold embrace he smiles down at you.

“Hey” You said softly greeting him “whats up?” You ask still looking up at him with a smile

“Well” he says while taking in a breath even though he doesn't breathe “Its Bella’s Birthday, and Alice is throwing her a party and she wants you to come with me” He explains as you let him into your house 

“What do you say?” He asks hopefully “Sure, why not?” You say with a small smile as you walk into your bedroom “But I'm Going to need something In return” You say to him as he raises his eyebrow in confusion 

“I'm doing a project on the civil war for history class” You start “And since you were there i figured you could help me” you explain, Jasper was more than happy to help you, he always was, hell he would have done the project for you.

“Oh I Suppose i could,” He sarcastically groans, “or I could have had Edward read the teachers mind and do the project for you” He says reaching into his bag grabbing a folder.

“You did not” you say “Sighted in perfect APA format and no grammatical errors” he smiles he did your work   

For you, before you knew about it.

“So, now that you have what you want what do you say?” he asks, referencing the party, “I already said yes Jas” you reply.  

“Great i'll pick you up at 6” he smiles as he leaves, as you watch him pull out of your driveway you look at the folder in hand “God, He really did it” You mumble to yourself. 

—--

Time skip

—-- 

It was around 6 when Jasper pulled into your driveway again, he walked to your door and knocked again as he did before but this time your mom answered “Oh, hello Jasper '' She greeted with a smile, your parents always loved Jasper, He’s charming, thoughtful, respectful, Honest, endearing, and you couldn't ask for anything better.

“She will be out in a minute, would you like something to drink?” Your mother asked Like she always did

“No, I'm good but thank you for the offer” Jasper denied as he always did, suddenly you walked out amd he smiled at the sight of you. You had just been wearing some old faded blue jeans with a black sweater, but in his mind you were the picture of perfection.

“Okay, you two get closer together” your mother requested as she got her camera snapping a picture of the two of you. After your mother is finished taking your pictures Jasper walks you to his car,

Then he opened the door for you to get in.

And you were off to the Cullens house. Eventually you pulled into the driveway and waited with Jasper in the living room with the other Cullens. Eventually Alice went upstairs to get Bella and Edward, and a few seconds later the three came downstairs. 

Alice had been leading Bella around the room, but eventually she went off on her own finding a spot next to you as Jasper went to check something 

“Happy Birthday” You told her, sure you had not been fond of her but that wasn't an excuse to be rude.

“Thank you” she mumbled  Before Alice dragged her away once again to receive gifts.

Everything was going fine, until she got a godam papercut. You wouldn't call yourself a vampire expert vut you knew Jasper had not been ‘vegetarian’ as long as the others and he was more sensitive to blood, so when a drop of Bellas blood had fallen Jasper shot up from the couch he had been sitting on with you. Pushing you Off. you had ended up hitting your head but it was ok.

Jasper made a rush for Bella. Edward pushed Bella backwards into a table. He then proceeded to push Jasper into the piano.

Eventually Jasper got out, Edward looked back to see Bella on the ground bleeding from her tricep, he looked at her with a look of hurt, this is what he feared. Then Rosalie came out. “Here I'll drive you home,” She said as you followed her out the door.

 “Is he okay?” You asked Rosalie in the car “Y/N Jasper is fine, how's your head” She asked 

“It's fine” You replied as you pulled up to your house 

“Thanks for the ride Rose” You told her as you stepped out of the car as he gave a small smile in response.

The next day The cullens weren't at school, Without Jasper by your side the day felt far longer than it should have.

Whenever you got home Jasper was sitting on the front step of your house “Hey” You greeted hi with a smile, unlike the day before he didn't smile back he looked at you his eyes full of sorrow.

“What's wrong?” You asked worriedly “We need to talk” He says his voice full of sorrow as he stood up walking over to the forest 

“We have to leave,” He said while looking to the ground “Im Sorry”  he said sincerely 

You and i walk a fragile line, you know it, i know it, but i never thought ide live to see it break 

The sun was starting to set, neither you or Jasper said anything. “You can go on with your life, as if i was never a part of it” Jasper spoke up walking closer to you, hugging you one last time.

You didn't want to let go, but you knew you had to…

Come on, Come on dont leave me like this I thought I had you figured out, cant breathe whenever your gone

When you let go he left, Just like that, you had felt all kinds of pain in your life but never felt this kind of pain well never this much.

—--

And that's how it happened, that's what led to this point, standing on top of a cliff about to jump into the water, in the middle of January. The past few months without Jasper had made it hard to breathe, as if you were swimming in water and then suddenly started drowning, you couldn't breathe. You couldn't feel anything anymore.

 So you Jumped into the water, but the current was too strong. You were pulled under what started as a figurative metaphor became reality. You were underwater drowning, till you felt someone drag you out a familiar pair of cold hands as the world went black.

When you woke up you felt a hand around yours, It was Jasper. Sitting there the whole time. “Jasper” You mumbled while sitting up. 

“Hey” He said while pulling you into a hug, as if he had just lost you, technically he had but that's not the point.

And for a while you sat there as Jasper held you and you held him. He was back. You could breathe again.

“How did you know?” You asked him “Alice saw it, and Edward heard it '' He said honestly. You let your guard down and they knew otherwise you wouldn't have Jasper back, and Edward wouldn't have Bella, well there not as important but that's ok.

[fanfic-corner]

Destiel

It’s my birthday tomorrow, and to celebrate, I’ve compiled a list of my favourite fics! I’ve read a lot of Destiel fics over the past year, but these are the ones that have stuck with me the most. I’ve not put as much detail in as I usually do because otherwise we would be here forever, but I am begging you to read these fics. They’re all amazing.

Kiss You When It’s Dangerous by zoemathemata (@zoemathemata) on AO3. (57,593 words).

It’s adorable. The plot is fabulous. It’s my all time favourite fic. Please, I am begging you, just read it.

Stand By Me by whelvenwings (@whelvenwings) on AO3. (31,252 words).

The first Destiel fic I ever read, and it’s managed to stay with me this whole time.

Angel’s Wild by LimonadeGaby and riseoftefallenone on AO3. (389,271 words).

The pining is unbearable but it’s all worth it in the end. The ultimate slow burn.

The Tea is Decaf by mnwood (@tomhardysteeth) on AO3. (3,673 words).

Cas is adorable. Eileen is adorable. Everyone is adorable.

a turn of the earth by microcomets on AO3. (95,274 words).

Of course I’ll rec the ultimate John Winchester bashing fic. The plot is so amazing and it is written excellently.

the inexhaustible silence of houses by Askance on AO3. (31,820 words).

This was beautifully written, made me cry, and the ending haunts me to this day.

Forget-Me-Not Blues by noangelsinthegarrison (@aaziraphales) on AO3. (68,689 words).

Jesus Christ, I have not read another fic where these two are such blatant idiots. That being said... I love it. Everything about it is amazing.

the cost of a thing by quiettewandering (@wanderingcas) on AO3. (74,198 words).

So cute! All the angst! My all time favourite trope and absolutely the best take on it!

In All Your Borrowed Finery by vanishingact (@vanishingactblog) on AO3. (67,950 words).

Okay this is adorable and you can’t convince me otherwise. Every time I read a fic with Gabriel in, I miss him just a bit more.

Down Like Water by museaway (@museaway) on AO3. (14,512 words).

I reread this occasionally just to feel something. I literally had to check if I misread the tags like 3 times and I cry every. single. time.

Partnered by K_K_TiBal (@thebloggerbloggerfun) on AO3. (28,112 words).

This is so fucking cute. The artwork is gorgeous. And, now I ship Jody and Donna. All round win.

Black Swans by omphalos and Wolfling on AO3. (66,455 words).

Okay so maybe this is more Sabriel than Destiel, but it was written amazingly and the plot was phenomenal!

this is a good thing, dean (prayer is a sign of faith) by cascountsdeansfreckles on AO3. (529 words).

The one time Cas can’t hear his prayers... I had to include a 15x18 fic in here somewhere, and this one set me off.

Purgatory, director’s cut by runsinthefamily on AO3. (23,722 words).

This was beautiful. It felt hypnotic, almost like poetry, and I absolutely cried at the end.

The House on the Ocean Road by coffeeandcas (@coffeeandcas) on AO3. (111,351 words).

This was gorgeous! Dean and Cas as parents was adorable, and Jimmy was such a fucking icon I don’t even know where to start. Also, not the weirdest past Cas ship I’ve ever seen (but it’s up there).

Broadway Musical by Griftings on AO3. (12,453 words).

The King and Queen of the crack fics. I adore the ‘did you fuck the Michael sword’ vibes and the formatting just makes everything so much funnier.

How Many Slams In An Old Screen Door [podfic] by Tenoko1 (@tenoko1) on AO3. (1hr 50mins).

Before we were shoved back into lockdown, I used to listen to podfics on the way to/from school, and this has to be my all time favourite so far. The asexual representation was fantastic, the plot was hilarious, and (as always) it was read beautifully.

When Charlie Met Cas by riseofthefallenone on AO3. (24,666 words).

This has to be thee funniest fic ever written. I don’t make the rules.

Boneless Wings by PallasPerilous (@pallasperilous) on AO3. (4,333 words).

The art is gorgeous (I’d literally just finished watching Pan’s Labyrinth which was terrifying) and it was such a brilliant parody of all the other wing fics out there (not that I don’t love them too!)

Grace by july_19th_club (@july-19th-club) on AO3. (5,164 words).

This was gorgeous and now I really want to see it filmed! It is so much better than the ending we got. I would say the author should work for them, but... frankly, they deserve better.

It Started With a Fanfic Competition by Tenoko1 (@tenoko1) on AO3. (124,487 words).

This was written beautifully. It was so wholesome, not afraid to call the characters out on their usual bullshit, and has genuinely more character development than the entire 15 year long show.

Serendipity by whelvenwings (@whelvenwings) on AO3. (23,891 words).

I absolutely adored every character in this (and thoroughly enjoyed guessing who was going to show up next!) and the plot was fabulous!

The Mute!Cas ‘verse by Princess_Aleera on AO3. (148,656 words).

Oh man. I wasn’t sure at first, but this is now maybe my favourite universe out there. The fluff was unbelievably fluffy, the angst was quality pain, and that’s without mentioning the fact the end had me ugly sobbing. On Christmas Eve.

When Dinosaurs Ruled The Earth by Mishafied on AO3. (68,926 words).

Oh my lord, what about this isn’t amazing? The casting was fabulous, the amount of research was obvious and really paid off, and I mean... Jurassic Park AU! It made me desperate to rewatch the films, too.

The Passion of the Christ (and his angelic ex-boyfriend) by Bzzee (@clarafordahwin) on AO3. (4,972 words).

I am going straight to Hell, and it is because of this fic right here. That being said, this is top quality crack and I’ve sent it to everyone I know just for the trip (two of them had never watched SPN. One asked me if Jesus was actually in it).

You Can Keep Holding On by NorthernSparrow on AO3. (352,388 words).

I won’t spoil it, but one of the best plot twists of all time! The exploration of Dean & Cas’ relationship, the detail put into the lore, the foreshadowing... amazing.

Apres by imogenbynight (@imogenbynight) on AO3. (24,045 words).

This was so adorable - Cas and Dean deserved a holiday in France!

I hope you enjoyed them! I’ve really been struck - especially over quarantine - with appreciation for all the writers out there who are giving us this professional quality content for free. I genuinely don’t know what I’d do without you, which is why I’ve done my best to hunt you down and tag you so you can take my love! There are a hundred other fics that I could have included on here as well, or ones that I’ve read since making this list. Thank you all so much for giving us these wonderful stories!

[thatsdevilstears-a]

/// GUIDELINES

——GENERAL

1. Hello there and welcome to my blog. Thank you for reading my guidelines! My name is Wiktoria, you can call me vikn. I live in Poland. As you can see, English is not my first language, therefore mistakes can occur, please bear that in mind.

I also have an interest tracker so you can fill it here.

2. I consider this blog independent and semi-selective, meaning, I prefer to write write with mutuals only. Memes, open starters are open to everyone, though. That doesn’t mean, though, it will carry on. I’m open to exploring, but I do not click with everyone. Please, don’t take it personally if that happens with you as well. Also, feel free to send me pms, asks and just say hi! I’m a friendly person that also knows all too well what anxiety means.

3. I’m not that fond of writing with OC characters and I don’t, most of the time.

8. When it comes to formatting - I keep it simple – small text + eventually icons.

4. I’d love to explore crossover stories. Examples? Relationship between Regina Mills & Damon Salvatore, Emma Swan & Theo Crain, no matter how crazy that may seem. 

5. Speaking of... Even if I do not have characters from certain fandoms, doesn't mean I wouldn't like to write with character from them in crossovers. Movies and tv shows I can think of are: harry potter, lord of the rings, the vampire diaries, twilight, stranger things, why women kill, orange is the new black, sherlock, jessica jones, charmed, disney & pixar in general...

6. I am open to all kinds of nsfw; I often like to write all kinds of dramas, character deaths, horror, mental-illness issues, abusive relationships, heartbreak and heartache. +18 muns and muses only. I’ll tag such posts appropriately.

7. I do not possess icons for all my characters. Most of the icons I do use aren’t mine, but I’m trying to slowly make some myself.

——DOs AND DON’Ts

2. NoH8! If I see it, I’ll unfollow you asap.

1. No god-modding; I control my character, you control yours. There are examples where I give permission to do so, e.g. we discuss something in pms and plan things to turn out the specific way. In other cases… I may turn out not so nice.

4. Do not force a ship on me. I’m open to it, but I’d like you to discuss it with me first.

3. Personal blogs - do not follow me, nor like/reblog my posts! I’ll block you.

5. Of course, read all the rules! If I see you haven’t, there will be just one more chance to.

6. Please, try to match the length of the replies.

7. Also, please, cut your posts.

——SHIPPING

1. First and foremost, I ship chemistry! There are, though, ships I particularly don’t like - that’s why I always advance to message me about it first. If you’re shy, just send me an anon! 

2. If you’re curious about my favourite ones, though, my two otps are swan queen [emma & regina] and masriel [marisa & asriel]. & when it comes to otps, i rarely ship those characters with anyone else -- if so that's with characters from another fandom (as i mentioned -- i love crossovers)

As for other ships I do support: dani & jaimie, serena & june, villanelle & eve, anne & gilbert, moiraine & lan [platonically but may try also go beyond ;)], moiraine & siuan, alice & luther, alison & cole, norma & romero, lizbon & sergio, nairobi & helsinki (in obvious way ;)).

I'm fairlyyy ok with: dragon queen (regina & maleficent), emma & lily, serena & fred (agnsttt), theo & trish, vanessa & ethan, melanie & ben, beth & benny.

3. If I were to write about all my characters’ sexual orientation, I’d take me forever. Which is why I want you to look at them as bisexual or pansexual [perhaps apart from those who are originally gay]. But it honestly depends on the story; I may ship those characters with either females or males. So even if we have such characters as Serena Joy or Lord Asriel, they can be gay or bi [openly or not], or straight. I like to play with that form in various stories. 

4. When it comes to smut, rule number one: +20 muns and muses only. If you came here for this sort of entertainment, I’ll say look for it somewhere else. I’m ok with writing it - from time to time and when it feels right. It will be under a read more and tagged as ‘nsfw’. I feel like it may be fade to black most of the time, though.

/// MUSES

-------PRIMARY

>>>his dark materials (book & tv show based): marisa coulter // face: ruth wilson ; lyra belacqua // face: dafne keen ; lord asriel belacqua // face: james mcavoy. 

>>>once upon a time: regina mills // face: lana parrilla ; emma swan // face: jennifer morrison. 

>>>the wheel of time (for now tv show based):  moiraine damodred  // face: rosamund pike ;  lan mandragoran /// face: daniel henney.

>>>snowpiercer: melanie cavill // face: jennifer connelly ; alexandra cavill // face: rowan blanchard. 

>>>penny dreadful: vanessa ives // face: eva green. 

>>>the queen’s gambit: beth harmon /// face: anya taylor-joy. 

>>>the haunting series: theodora cran // face: kate siegel ; eleanor crain // face: victoria pedretti.

-------SECONDARY

>> the affair: alison bailey /// face: ruth wilson.

>>luther: alice morgan // face: ruth wilson.

>>anne with an e: anne shirley-cuthbert // face: amybeth mcnulty ; gilbert blythe // face: lucas jade zumann.

>>killing eve (tv show based): villanelle/oksana astankova // face: jodie comer. 

>>the handmaid’s tale (tv show based): serena joy waterford // face: yvonne strahovski. 

>>bates motel: norma bates /// face: vera farmiga.

>>the haunting series: jamie taylor // face: amelia eve /  carla gugino ; dani clayton /// face:  victoria pedretti ; olivia crain // face: carla gugino.

>>the oa: nina azarova/prairie johnson /// face: brit marling.

-------TEST

>his dark materials (book & tv show based): mary malone // face: simone kirby. 

>killing eve (tv show based):  eve polastri // face: sandra oh. 

>bates motel:  norman bates // face: freddie highmore.

>la casa de papel: nairobi // face: alma flores ; lizbon // face:  itziar ituño ; el professor // face: álvaro morte.

[photolover82]

The Masked Singer Season 5 Episode 5 Recap: Group B Finals ft a plot twist (Commentary & Guesses)

Hi everyone! Welcome (or welcome back) to Ana’s Masked Singer recap, where I, Ana, recap every episode of The Masked Singer. So, this week, we are back to Group B with yet another wildcard and it is the last time we are gonna see the groups on their own since after Group A’s final, we got the Super Eight (yup, it’s 8 this time... much better still than last season’s format). Anyways, let’s get into it (this is gonna be super repetitive from last week guess wise but I am gonna try to keep it interesting and fresh for you guys, don’t you worry):

Alright, so usually I would save the wildcard for the end as like a surprise, but since the wildcard got eliminated, let’s introduce (and say goodbye to at the same time) to the:

Bulldog!! 🐶

Commentary: Ok, he sang Candy Girl by New Edition (which is really funny and ironic for a whole other thing, I’ll explain in a moment I swear) and um how do I say this nicely?... he’s a great dancer, but the singing is, what Randy Jackson would say, “a no from me dawg.” (Get it? Dawg.. bc the bullDOG... oh ok I will stop now). Anyways, yeah no, he was not good, I kind of expected this to happen honestly, so I am not surprised nor disappointed by any means. However, the person under this mask kinda did surprise me lol... even tho I kind of saw this coming.

He was revealed to be, in the biggest plot twist of the century, no voting, just Neicy Nash picking it:

*SURPRISE SHAWTY*

Nick Cannon, our very own host and Ken’s “daddy*”

*which is ironic because he legit just announced he was gonna have another baby

Ok, ok, did I get this right on my own? Nope, but Twitter helped me out so thank you Twitter. I did officially guess him before he was unmasked (but that’s because I had no other guesses sooo can I really count this a win? Hmmm... TBD... you guys let me know). Anyways, BOOM PLOT TWIST BABY, he’s back! Just in case you guys didn’t know (I don’t really talk about the judges or the host here because I watch for the contestants not for them and it would make this already long blog longer and we don’t want that): Nick had COVID so he couldn’t host the first few episodes of the show, but now he’s better and BOOM he’s the host again... Neicy Nash was taking over for him and now he’s back! So yeah this was just a transition for him to be back on the show, but like imma be honest: he might have been married to Mariah Carey but he don’t got any pipes like her, but he’s a good host so he should stick to that.

Anyways, NEXTTTT, let’s talk about the remaining 4 (which are legit the same freaking ones from last week):

1. Black Swan 🖤🦢

Commentary: So she sang Whitney Houston's How Will I Know and I swear she gets better and better each week like she murdered this song, it was absolutely amazing, my favorite performance of the night hands down. I really love Black Swan, she has one of the best voices on the show and I think either her or Robopine could win the entire season tbh.

I think this has to be (tripling down/final answer/insert buzzer sound here):

Jojo

Reasoning/Clues:

10-10-10= She has appeared on multiple singing competition shows (she did a lot of those shows as a kid), she was on America’s Most Talented Kids and was a guest judge on celebrity X Factor

Montana= get this... if you are around my age, this will surprise you. Did you guys know that Jojo was the original person that the producers of Hannah Montana wanted to play Hannah but she turned it down because she wanted to focus on her music

In her physical clue, she talks about a female singer who passed away at a young age that she was friends with= she was referring to fellow R&B singer Aaliyah

2. Crab 🦀

Commentary: He sang Give it to Me Baby by Rick James and it was a very strong performance, it almost took me aback the song choice. I didn’t expect him to go that hard in the beginning, the hip thrusts were a bit uncomfortable for me and he can’t dance for shit (I am sure it’s because he’s a bit older, not faulting him by any means), but it was really strong vocally speaking. He did actually loose his breathe and started hyperventilating under the mask and had to take a break to cool down (literally, because he was burning up under there), which honestly I hope he’s ok, I am not sure if he’s gonna last that long because of that hyperventilating (remember Mickey Rourke?), but tbh it would have been so unfair for him to go because he did an amazing job and I enjoyed his performance. He got soul.... crab’s got soul.

This has got to be (doubling down, like omg even the picture matches w the body type and everything, I am onto something here):

Bobby Brown

Reasoning/Clues:

Mom kept him in the straight and narrow and taught him how to cook= well, he has spoke about how his mother has gotten him away from the gangs and trouble around his neighborhood and into cooking (he even has a food line, hence the Mac and cheese), which also made him take up singing and thus his band New Edition (remember how I said Nick singing Candygirl by New Edition was ironic? Well this is why... because crab is Bobby Brown aka one of the members.... also Black Swan sang his ex wife’s song so yeah this can’t get any more ironic) was formed

Big Ben= Initals, BB aka Bobby Brown and also he had a show in 2005 called Being Bobby Brown and one of the episodes “Bobby Does London” he goes to London

Ribs= he has a line of BBQ sauces and seasonings called Bobby Brown Foods

3. Piglet 🐷

Commentary: This time, he went a bit softer with the song choice which I feel compliments his voice better, with 7 Years by Lukas Graham, which made Jenny, who apparently hasn’t listened to this song before (wtf Jenny, this song was all over the radio in like 2017 and you are like a radio host hun), cry. I mean it was really amazing and ballads actually suit him a lot more than super upbeat songs like last week’s Andy Grammar song and I really enjoyed it, I’ve heard that song a million times so no I didn’t cry but I still loved it. I do think Piglet will go super far, my guess is he will make it to semifinals.

I am a 100%, tripling down sure that this is:

Nick Lachey

Reasoning/Clues:

Genie Lamp= He did a cover of Aladdin’s A Whole New World with his ex Jessica Simpson on Disney Mania 3

The “spider” who made him a family man= referring to Vanessa Lachey, it was supposed to be this whole Charlotte’s Web thing not really referring anything specific about her that she’s a spider, she could have been another pig for all we care

Dog Tags= in the physical clue, there are 3 dog tags, which he has been seen wearing (you can Google those pics) and they represent his 3 kids which his wife gave him before they had their third kid, Phoenix (btw there’s a P on the bottom dog tag shown)

4. Chameleon

Commentary: Ok so he rapped again but this time the song was Hip Hop by Dead Prez (which I have felt like I have heard but I have no idea where) and I usually hate rappers on this show, but like he’s legit. What I mean by that is like he’s an actual rapper (well Bow Wow was too... but Bow Wow only went as far as he did because of his dancing, Chameleon is just pure rap talent) and his flow is insane. I am not a rap fan whatsoever but I can appreciate good rapping and that was good rapping, actually it was great rapping. Sure, he’s the weakest link of the four but he’s also the coolest one could argue.

Mark my words, this is as I said the last 2 types, again tripling down:

Wiz Khalifa

Reasoning/Clues:

His little Chameleon/lizard= he has an 8 year old son named Sebastian (he also says Cam in the package which is his real name... by him I mean Wiz.... his real name is Cameron)

Martial Arts= the dude likes Martial Arts and has been trained in it and Jiu Jitsu, he has mentioned it in interviews, has been spotted training in gyms, it’s no secret at this point that he likes that stuff

Hot wings= he has a wings place called HotBox by Wiz and he was also on Hot Ones (for those unfamiliar, it’s a YouTube show where celebs eat 10 super spicy chicken wings while answering questions) idk if that counts but I am also gonna say it

So that’s it, guys! I hope you enjoyed! Follow me on Twitter because I do live tweet the show, it’s the same username as here @photolover82 and I do some of these in video form on Tik Tok too if you wanna follow, it’s photolover820 (close enough lol). So yeah, see you guys in the next one! Byeeee! 👋🏼👋🏼

[o-ddeyecircle]

— SERENITY is the self titled, debut mini album of South Korean all-female trio SERENITY. released on march 8, 2019, the album contains 9 tracks, with, the now acclaimed song, “WONDER” as the main title track.

even though they did not get a music show win this era, it still garnered them a lot of international attention from both fans and the media. from the start, serenity had big shoes to fill in, harmony entertainment had produced multiple successful boy groups, with MELODY, being their most well known and famous. them being the first girl group in the company’s history was definitely something to be excited about. critics marveled at the group’s unique sound, each track being careful written and produced by the girls themselves, it was no surprised that WONDER became quite the hit worldwide. the album quickly became known as one of the best debut album’s of the year.

▸﹙ GENERAL INFO ! ﹚ ｡ 

release date — march 8, 2019

format — digital download ‘ cd ‘ cassette

length — 28:47

genre — synth pop, soultronica, contemporary r&b, electro pop, funk/soul

▸﹙ TRACKLIST ! ﹚ ｡ 

track one — intro: you and i ﹙ insp. desperado by rihanna ! ﹚

track two — WONDER ﹙ insp. 134340 by bts ! ﹚

this track is really intesting , a lot of jazz and funky influences are heard through out the song. it might sound like something you can happily dance to, when you read the lyrics, you’ll find that it’s about someone separating from someone or something that they used to revolve their entire life around. with references to science and mythology, it’s no wonder that it became one of Serenity’s most acclaimed songs.

track three — eclipse ﹙ insp. eclipse by kim lip ! ﹚

track four — two moons ﹙ insp. kingdom come by red velvet ! ﹚

track five — egoist ﹙ insp. black swan by bts ! ﹚

track six — singing in the rain﹙ insp. come thru by summer walker ! ﹚

track seven — let me in ﹙ insp. holy ghost by børns ! ﹚

track eight — mirrors ﹙ insp. butterfly by loona ! ﹚

track nine — ne m’oubliez mye ﹙ insp. new by yves ! ﹚

▸﹙ MV BREAKDOWN ! ﹚ ｡

the music video for WONDER first opens to a scene of the three girls on top of a pastel pink building, gazing at the sun as it’s in the process of setting, their backs to the camera as it zooms in slowly. as it stops, som looks back looking at whatever has caught her eye before looking back at the sun

the video pans out to shots of buildings in pastel colors, the girls walking up and down confusing, illusion like sets of stairs, it’s basically aesthetic goodness. shots of planets replacing the sun in the sky. the music video contains a lot of hints into what’s going on in the odd eye circle. there was one of shot of yuki that whet viral, she was standing in front of a building with rainbow colored stairs as she held a mirror in front of her face.

the last few minutes of the music video are the girls back in the same building, staring out at the sky, this time, three translucent moons being the main thing that their gazing at. as the camera zooms in on their backs, the three girls look back together, this time, looking straight into the camera.

▸﹙ ERA NOTES ! ﹚ ｡

the first they did after the album and the mv was released, was go on live, they had a following before they debuted because their company allowed them to use Instagram, you could see how excited all three girls were ( eun finally showing off that smile )

they promoted for about 4-5 weeks, even tonight they didn’t get a win, they were still super happy with how it all went down.

because the choreography was really intricate and pretty difficult, they released a dance practice and a step by step tutorial on how to do the dance properly ( thank som because she thought it was a good idea )

the girls on variety shows...a mess, they almost got in trouble because they weren’t holding back on the insults with each other and the host, som went viral for literally saying “I don’t give a fuck” to doni on idol room...quite iconic

with this also came speculations about how close the girls were to MELODY, someone released photos of Som hanging with MELODY’s Maknae, Jae, while she was still a trainee

Eun was not afraid to completely shut down questions like that, while she did get some backlash, she didn’t stop, she stated that she would rather keep the group’s personal life away from their profession

The girls were glowing through out the entire era, they trained for years and even gave up extremely important opportunities to be where they are now

almost forgot to mention that a lot of over the top, pastel makeup looks paired with colorful, coordinating outfits, they got a lot of attention for this as well, with them being considered as trendsetter because everyone else starting pulling off these looks

a lot of social media interaction and a lot of videos of serenity interacting with other kpop groups. there is an entire compilation of serenity collecting groups and making them their best friends.

▸﹙ STYLE SNAPSHOT ! ﹚ ｡

3 words: over the top

it was completely over the top but..kind of in a classy, cute way..almost...?

yuki had bright pink hair, eun had black and som had a pastel purple

like I said, a lot of pastel makeup looks, they went pretty hard on the eyeshadow and rhinestones tbh

they also went hard on the embroidery and beading that was on their outfits, the girls had to be extremely careful but they still managed to dance around in them lmao

[cluttermind]

Without A Parachute (6/15) - Feels Like This

Summary:  Emma worked tremendously hard to give herself a better chance. From group homes, to living in her car, to ivy league student, this English Major’s only solace was escaping her reality through books. One night, Emma comes home to find a small package with only her name on it written in beautiful calligraphy. The package contains a thick, brown leather journal. Emma soon learns that the fiction she writes in the journal eventually becomes reality. Will Emma learn to control this gift, or will she fall too fast into the temptation to change too much? With the help of her good friends August, Robin, and Elsa, and the mysterious, intriguing bartender of The Jolly Roger, Emma discovers just how easy it is to lose control, and how difficult it is to pick up the pieces.

Rating: M

Words: 24,187 total / 6,381 Ch 6

Read on ao3: Beginning | Current

Note: I'm SO sorry this took longer than I had anticipated to write. To make up for the delay it's a slightly longer chapter with a lot of fluff and some smut mixed if (so if that's not your thing feel free to scroll through that part). I hope you enjoy! Thank you so much for reading, for your comments, and for your support. Stay safe out there everyone! I’d definitely read this one on ao3 for formatting since I might miss some italics here

//

When it feels like this, like a light came on

And you look at me like I’m all you want

I got everything at my fingertips

How can I resist when it feels like this?

-Maisie Peters, Feels Like This

“You had one fucking job! She told you exactly what to do, wrote it all out for you, you incompetent monkey.” A dark figure shrieked at the man in the hoodie, Emma’s necklace digging into the palm of a tightly clenched fist.

“She’ll do what you need her to. It was enough,” the man responded.

“That’s up to Him to determine,” the figure said. “You have no idea what He’s capable of.”

“I can handle myself you bitch. I played my part. You and I both know that you’re no more of a pawn in His game than I am.”

“You’re just a pathetic excuse for a man who had nothing better to do. Apparently you’re not even capable of a quick fuck. You’re an expendable sidekick. He created you thousands of years ago to run His errands, to do His dirty work. I can give Him what he wants and He can help me get my revenge and even now after all this time you’re still useless.”

“I. Played. My. Part. You’d be nowhere without me.” The man closed the distance between him and the dark figure. “You’re just mad you can’t bring her down by yourself. You need Him. You need us and that kills you.”

“At least I have a reason, you’re just evil,” the figure snarled at him.

“And that is exactly why you like me.” The man stepped closer to the figure, closing the distance between them, his tone resembling something close to seduction although the animal-like hiss still remained.

“He won’t be happy,” the figure responded, ignoring the man’s advances.

“It was enough. Just wait. The darkness in her is bound to consume her. It’s only a matter of time.”

“She’ll pay for what she did.”

***

Two weeks later, midterms were finally over which meant spring break had finally started. Emma and Killian had been texting regularly, usually late at night and in the morning when Emma wasn’t drowning under books or in class. She barely slept. Whenever she finally calmed herself down from exam stress enough to close her eyes every night, the nightmares she had shook her to her core and kept her from sleeping. So she was looking forward to a break.

It was Friday. Most students had already left for hometowns or vacation destinations to escape the cold, including Elsa, August and Robin. Campus and Collegetown were nearly empty. Killian had suggested they go out to dinner to celebrate the end of her exam period and kick off her spring break. The thing was, Emma had no idea what this dinner was.

Was it a night out between friends?

Was it a date?

Were they grabbing a slice of pizza around the corner?

Were they going somewhere nice?

Were they walking?

Were they driving?

Was she driving?

Was he driving?

Did he expect something after?

Emma nervously stared at the two dresses she owned hanging in her sorry excuse for a closet. Elsa, unfortunately, left for break the night before and since Emma wasn’t sure what this dinner was she didn’t ask her friend if she could borrow a dress. So she opted for the flowy pink dress Mary Marget helped her buy for her high school graduation and pulled her hair up into a ponytail to keep her from looking too overdressed. After her last night out, she opted for shorter heels that she had a better chance at balancing and walking in even though they would inevitably cause her pain.

Still having about half an hour before Killian was supposed to pick her up, she fiddled her hands nervously as she paced her small room. Compared to his beautiful apartment in a building he owned, Emma’s ratty, run-down, strictly-a-place-to-sleep college apartment was an utter embarrassment. It was the cheapest thing she could find and the only thing she could afford and the last thing she wanted Killian to see.

Quickly, Emma shoved a change of clothes, socks, sneakers, pajamas, and her toiletries into her backpack (a little presumptuous but honestly a night away from an apartment that she had been having endless nightmares in that was empty except for her was something she welcomed, and maybe even hoped for). She threw her bag over her shoulder and left her apartment, walking toward the Jolly Roger.

She got there with 15 minutes to spare. It was mostly empty so she took her usual spot at the bar, setting her bag on the chair next to her.

“What can I get for you?” The bartender asked.

“Uhm just a Coke, thanks,” Emma responded.  “It’s Will Scarlet right? I think we met briefly before.”

“Yeah! It’s . . .” Will paused, clearly not remembering her name.

“Emma,” she smiled.

“Right! Emma. The Captain’s friend,” he noted, as if he was trying to commit it to memory. Will handed her the soda she asked for. She paid and sipped it slowly, hoping the bubbled would help settle her nervous stomach. They engaged in small talk for a bit, Will telling her some funny stories about patrons he observed. He was actually quite funny and the jokes were a welcomed distraction.

“Swan?” Killian had just come down from his apartment. He had traded his usually rock-star black for a more romantic blue for the evening. He donned dark navy dress pants and a matching vest over a pale blue dress shirt, black dress shoes, a black black belt and a black leather jacket. In one hand he held his keys and his phone; in the other he held a single red rose. “I was just about to leave to pick you up.”

She stood from her spot at the bar. “Oh right, sorry. I was ready early and my apartment was getting too quiet so I figured I’d just meet you here.”

“You look beautiful, love.” He sweetly kissed her cheek and handed her the rose.

Emma blushed, her cheeks turning a soft pink as she took the flower. “Thank you.” Date. Definitely a date.  

Killian turned to Will. “You good here, mate?”

“Yup, have fun!”

Killian picked up Emma’s bag from the chair it was on and slung it over his shoulder, as if the fact that she had an overnight bag hadn’t phased him at all. If it did, he certainly didn’t show it. In fact, it hadn’t phased him at all. They had spent nearly every night talking to each other until one of them fell asleep. He missed her. She hadn’t been to the pub to study for her exams as she wasn’t sure she was capable of handling the rush of memories that might flood her mind upon returning here for the first time since the incident while also having to deal with midterms. He missed her voice, her laugh, the way she kissed him, the way she smiled at him. He missed the easy rise and fall of her chest as she slept against him. Killian was far too deep into this for his own good but the effect she had on him was unstoppable. All at once she lit his world on fire and kept him grounded.

“Shall we?” He asked. Leading her out of the pub, he rested one hand on the small of her back and walked her to his car.  

Emma was barely able to form words, lost in her own thoughts. Exams were over. He was taking her on a date . He brought her a rose . She felt so free that it was like she was breathing fresh air for the first time. Emma could count on one hand the number of dates she had been on (meaning the one she was currently on). No one in high school was interested in dating the foster child or the girl who lived in her tiny car. People barely gave her the time of day, let alone got dressed up for her or bought her a rose. It wasn’t until Killian had started the car that she was able to find her voice again.

“You look nice, Killian.” She smiled at him, still holding the rose close to her, cherishing the sweet gift.

“Some might even say devilishly handsome ,” he smirked.

“Hah.” Emma snorted and rolled her eyes. “Remind me not to feed your ego ever again.” Killian laughed. It was the sweetest sound Emma had ever heard. “So where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise, love.” They sat the rest of the short ride in comfortable silence. Emma’s heart was fluttering in a mess of excitement and nervousness. Eventually he pulled the car up to BoatYard Grill, a beautiful restaurant right on the water. It was a perfect balance of classy and casual, and even though it was too dark to be able to look out and really see the water, there was something magical, something romantic, about the feeling of the lakeside air.

Parking the car and slipping out of the driver’s seat, Killian jogged around to Emma’s side to open the door for her. “Milady,” he said, offering her a hand that she happily took with her free hand (one still held the rose that she refused to let go of).

She giggled as she got out of the car, Killian closing the door behind her. “Why thank you, Captain .”

Killian kept her hand in his as he led her to the restaurant, telling the hostess that he has a reservation under Jones. He made a reservation for her . There were little things that Emma had never experienced growing up in the foster system. Dinner reservations was one of them. And Killian took the time and made the effort to plan an evening. For her. For them. Oh Swan you’re really in it with this one.

They were seated at a quiet table for two in the back of the restaurant. Killian ordered a glass of wine. Emma stuck with water. Even though she had a pretty solid fake, she hadn’t been too keen on drinking ever since -

“How was your last exam today?” Killian asked.

“Oh fine. Intro to Psych is pretty easy. It feels so nice to have a break for a bit.”

“Are you heading home for break?” He asked, curiously. As much as they spoke, Emma never talked about home.

“Uhm.” Emma hesitated, unsure of whether to tell him the truth. The last thing she wanted was for Killian to look at her differently. But he was someone who had seen her at her worst and held her through the night when she was desperate to not be alone. “No. I, uhm, don’t really have a home. I grew up being shuffled around foster homes in Minnesota until I was 16 and lived in my car for two years so I could finish high school in one school just to have a shot at an Ivy League.”

“Emma I’m so sorry.” Killian reached across the table, resting a hand on hers. She didn’t see the typical pity in his eyes that she had seen in others who knew her story. She saw sympathy. Still, Emma wanted to change the subject and remembered the University of Oxford shirt he had given her to sleep in once.

“So you went to Oxford?”

“Aye, for a year. Then I spent two years mostly traveling and sailing before my grandfather stopped funding my escapades and told me to get my act together. So I came here and decided to open the pub.”

“Why’d you leave?”

Killian welcomed the interruption when their waiter came to take their orders. This wasn’t a story he was itching to share, let alone share on a first date. Once the waiter left, an older woman popped by the table after the waiter left.

“Killian, my boy!”

Killian stood to hug the woman, “Angela, it’s good to see you.”

“How’s your grandmother doing? Where in the world is she now? It’s impossible to contact her these days!”

“Belize? I think? At least that’s where the last postcard was from.” Killian shrugged. “How are you?”

“Oh just fine. Business is good, Jim is good, although he sure does miss having your grandfather around.”

“They were always up to something.” Killian said, fond memories of his grandfather and Angela’s husband betting nickels and dimes in poker every week at the lake house in the summer and, once he opened the pub, taking up their designated seats at the bar nearly every day.

“And who’s this pretty lady?” Angela turned her attention to Emma.

“Angela this is Emma, my -”

“Girlfriend?!” Friend! He was going to say friend! Fuck! What if Emma bolts? Emma and Killian both blushed furiously. “You know Jim and I were just saying that it’s been so long since you’ve been with someone.”

Killian cleared his throat, scratching behind his ear, clearly flustered. Emma, who was still slightly able to form a semi-cohesive thought interjected. “It’s nice to meet you Mrs . . .?”

“Oh sweetie just call me Angela. He’s a special one you know?” She jabbed Killian in the chest playfully.

Emma smiled up at Killian. “Yeah. I know.” Killian grinned back at her.

Angela noticed their attention was clearly on eachother. “Well I’ll leave you two to enjoy your evening. Just holler if you need anything!” With that they were alone again and Killian reclaimed his seat across from Emma who was giggling.

“She seems lovely.” Emma noted.

“Aye, she is. Sorry about the whole -”

There were two ways this conversation could go. Emma could play it safe or she could take a risk.

“Oh it’s fine. Although my real boyfriend would probably be quite upset to hear that I kinda liked the sound of it.”

Killian raised an eyebrow at her and leaned in closer to her. “Well, Swan, you could tell your other boyfriend that when I win your heart, and I will win your heart, it will be because you want me more than you’ve ever wanted someone before.” His voice had dropped to a place reserved for only the most erotic utterings. He smirked at her and reached across the table to squeeze her hand. Emma swallowed hard. Killian’s words sent a shiver up her spine and her heart into a frenzy. They sat in silence for a moment, eyes locked on each other as if time had stood still while Emma sat there, needing a minute to process his words, his voice, his eyes.

“So your grandmother is in Belize?” Emma asked, eventually.

Killian chuckled, settling back into his seat. “Aye. She’s an archeologist. She spends most of her time in Central and South America, especially since my grandfather passed.”

“And your parents?”

“My mother, Alice, left when I was 5. She drove us to school to drop us off one day and then never came back. My father,” Killian sighed, taking a sip of his wine, “my father was a complicated man. I don’t blame Mum for leaving the way she did. He owned a pawn shop in Dublin that his grandfather had opened but I think he secretly hated it. He was drunk more often than not. He died when I was 19.”

Emma gave him a look, a look that, all at once, said I get it , and I’m sorry , and neither of us ever have to be alone again . She reached out and tenderly touched his hand, brushing her fingertips over his knuckles. Emma wondered if his death was why Killian never finished at Oxford, but something about the way he spoke about his father made her think there was more to that story that he seemed relieved to avoid. Their moment was interrupted by the waiter bringing them their food.

The conversation flowed easily over dinner. Killian told her he was intending to major in fine arts, he told stories about him and his brother, Liam, and the antics they got into during summers at the lake house, and about sailing with his grandfather. Emma told him about the book she was reading, a beautiful fiction novel about a pandemic and those who survived and those who didn’t and how a traveling group of musicians and actors kept the arts alive with concerts and Shakespeare plays called Station Eleven , which led her to telling him about her love of Shakespeare.

“So do you have any spring break plans at all, Swan?”

“Oh yeah. I’ve got a few dates with McDreamy lined up and a growing pile of library books stacking up on my floor. What about you? I imagine business will be pretty slow this week.”

Killian finished his glass of wine. “Aye, it’s always pretty slow during breaks. I was planning on leaving Will in charge for the week and escaping to the lake house.”

“That sounds like a nice break.” Emma noted.

An idea popped into Killian’s head. “I wouldn’t mind your company if you’re looking for a change of scenery.”

“Really?” Emma asked, sounding a little more hopeful and excited than she had planned.

Killian chuckled. “Aye. I think you’ve had a rough few weeks and have earned a bit of a break. Plus I quite miss having you in my bed.”

“Hm. A tempting offer. But will there be grilled cheese?”

“Aye, love. Whatever you want.”

“And ice cream?”

“Swan, we can go to the store once we’re done here and I will get you anything your heart desires.”

Now it was her turn to make him blush. “Anything?” She gave him a very insinuating look from across the table.

Killian leaned forward again, enjoying this game of flirting. “ Anything your heart desires.”

***

Quickly, Killian paid the bill and they made their way over to the supermarket. Emma, to his dismay, tossed in every unhealthy thing she could find, including a box of brownie mix that she insisted they bake to have with the vanilla ice cream that would inevitably be tossed in the cart. All he could do was laugh and watch her. She was like a kid in a candy store who never once let go of the rose he gave her.

Killian had seen Emma at her lowest point, watched her go to war with herself over what happened to her, watched her suffer for weeks while attempting to study for exams he knew were causing her stress. He knew she wasn’t sleeping because she’d send him random texts at all hours of the night. He figured it helped her feel less alone so when he woke up every morning, he replied to every single one, no matter how silly or ridiculous or sometimes incohesive it was.

This Emma, happy, free, with a light that radiated from every inch of her and filled even the darkest parts of him, was the Emma he wanted always to remember, the Emma he wanted to spend his days trying to bring out.

While she debated which PopTarts she wanted, Killian slipped away to run to the pharmacy section. Not that he expected anything, but he picked up a package of condoms. A gentleman is always prepared , he told himself. Oh who are you kidding, you want this way more than you should .

Killian returned to find Emma stuck deciding between two flavors of PopTarts and shoved the box into the cart before she could see them. The last thing he wanted was to think he invited her just so he could have sex with her. Really, Killian would be fine with spending the entire week watching Netflix with her in his arms. And apparently baking brownies to have with vanilla ice cream, chocolate syrup, whipped cream and who knows what else.

“Just get them both before you give yourself a headache,” he joked. Emma tossed both boxes in. This woman is going to cost you a fortune . She gave him a bright smile and kissed him. In the middle of the aisle. Not caring for a second who saw them.

“Thank you. For everything, Killian,” she said when she finally pulled back, leaving Killian breathless.

And she was worth every damn penny.

***

Killian pulled into a long driveway leading to a beautiful home right on the lake. It had to be at least 2 acres of property from what Emma could tell in the dark. The house was pretty far from any neighbors and the trees lining the edge of the property on either side hid any evidence that other people even existed. It was perfect and exactly what Emma needed. They grabbed a bag of groceries each and headed inside. The first thing Emma did was ask Killian to put her rose in some water for her.

From the entrance you could see all the way to the back of the house which was essentially just a wall of windows. In the living room there was a large overstuffed couch in front of a fireplace and a large TV fit for the best kinds of movie nights snuggled in front of the fire. As tempting as it was to jump on the couch they still had bags to bring in. Emma might have gone a little overboard on the snacks.

“Do you think we have enough chips?” Killian joked, putting the third bag bag of chips in the panty while Emma unpacked bags on the island. He suddenly realized that he completely forgot what bag -

“Think we have enough condoms?” Emma joked back. She found the box he so slyly tried to hide from her while unpacking a bag containing a ridiculous amount of candy for the movie nights they planned on having.

Killian froze, blushing so furiously even the tips of his ears were red. Emma broke out in hysterical laughter. This was quite literally the last thing she had ever expected would embarrass Killian, the king of flirting, the master of inappropriate comments, the professional smoothtalker, the dreamy bartender who had girls fawning over him constantly, with a voice that could, quite literally, get any girl to drop their pants for him.

“I’m glad you find this so funny.” He looked at anything except her, scratching behind his ear.

“This is just so not you, Jones,” she said, pulling herself together. “Well actually this -” she waved the box “is you. Trying to slyly slip them in without me noticing is definitely you. The blushing though!”

Killian snatched the box from her. “A gentleman is always prepared, Swan.”

Emma stepped towards him, slinking her arms around his waist. “Very smooth, Jones.”

He tossed the box onto the island and wrapped his arms around her. “I didn’t want to -”

“I know.”

“We don’t have to do anything.”

Emma’s hands slid up Killian’s chest to rest on his shoulders. “What if I want to?”

“Then I’d be quite happy to oblige your desires, Swan,” he purred.

“When did you even get these?”

“During the great PopTart debate of 2020.”

Emma chuckled. “Right.”  Her hands ran along the collar of his shirt, her eyes avoiding his. “There’s something you should know.”

“About PopTarts?” Killian asked, confused.

“No, you idiot.” Emma took a breath, her hands again resting on his shoulders as she tried to calm the nerves causing her heart to beat faster, trying to find the words to tell the obviously experienced man standing in front of her that she was a virgin, that she, quite literally, had no idea what she was doing. But god , she wanted him. All Emma could think about was the way he kissed, the way his hands felt on her hips when they danced. “No one’s ever taken me on a date before. So if this is going where I’m hoping it’s going you’ll be my first.”

Killian’s heart broke for her. How could someone so beautiful, intelligent, strong, funny, kind, and lovely never have experienced what it feels like to be loved, to be cherished, to be adored? All he wanted to do was show her that.

He kissed her softly. “Come with me.” Killian whispered against her lips before pulling away. He took her hand, making sure to grab the box that started this, and led her up the stairs to the master bedroom he had taken over when his grandmother gave him the run of the house.

With each step, anticipation bubbled in Emma’s stomach. It was a spacious room, with doors leading to a balcony that overlooked the lake, a king-sized bed, and a door that led to the master bathroom. As much as she had touched herself reading illicit stories on the internet or watching porn sites or, recently, thinking about Killian, nothing could have prepared her for the look in Killian’s eyes as he closed the door behind them, tossed the box onto the nightstand.

His hands traveled down her arms before he kissed her deeply. Emma’s fingers worked at the buttons of his vest, eventually sliding it off his shoulders. Killian’s lips traveled down her neck, his stubble softly tickling her. She sighed when his lips found her pulsepoint, tiling her head back as her hands found the hair at the nape of his neck.

Killian slowly unzipped her dress, kissing her shoulder as it dropped to the floor, leaving Emma standing before him in nothing but her heels, white lace bra and matching panties. “Emma,” he whispered, taking her in. His hands roamed her back while his lips returned passionately to hers.

Emma’s entire body was buzzing, lit on fire from Killian’s kisses. Quickly, she undid the buttons on his dress shirt as he walked her backwards towards the bed. She smiled against his lips when her head hit the pillow. Her fingers danced their way down his spine. Killian trailed kisses down her body, kneeling before her on the bed as he took her shoes off. Emma moaned. “Fuck that feels goos. Those were killing my feet.”

Killian chuckled, settling back between her legs. “You can tell me to stop at any time, Emma.”

“Can you please stop wearing pants?” She teased, toying with the waistband of his dress pants.

He kissed her before standing to remove his shoes, socks, belt and pants. Emma missed the heat of his body on top of her. In the time it took him to strip down to his boxers, Emma had gotten into her own head.

What if I’m not good enough?

What if I do something wrong?

What if it hurts?

What if I’m not exciting enough for him?

What if I’m too loud?

What if I’m not loud enough?

What if he doesn’t enjoy it?

Emma was so stuck in her own thoughts that she hadn’t noticed Killian was again on top of her, bra now off and on the floor until he pulled her out of her thoughts. “Emma?” His face was inches from her breast. He could tell she was wrapped in her own thoughts.

“Huh?” She realized she had completely zoned out into her own thoughts.

“Are you nervous?” Killian asked her, laying on his side next to her, his arousal pressing against her thigh.”

Emma turned her head to look at him. “Yes,” she whispered. His fingers danced over the soft skin of her stomach.

“Do you want to stop?”

“No.” Her hand touched his cheek, reassuring him that she wanted this, that she wanted him .

He turned to kiss her palm. “Don’t overthink it. Just focus on me. Focus on my voice. Let yourself go for me, love.” Killian’s voice dropped. “Let me make you feel good.”

Emma’s heart was racing. She nodded, taking a deep breath. His hand gently cupped her breast, massaging gently.

“You’re so beautiful, Emma,” Killian said, nearly moaning at how soft her skin felt in his hand. He lowered his lips to take her nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it. Emma’s hands tangled themselves in his hair.

“God I’ve dreamed about this.” Emma admitted, moaning softly. Killian grazed his fingers over the waistband of her panties, smirking against her skin.

“Swan, you have no idea.” Most of Killian’s nights ended with thoughts of Emma and all the wonderful things he wanted to do to her, do with her. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since the day you came into the Jolly with a fucking textbook.” His hand slipped below the waistband, his fingers sliding teasingly over her wet folds. Emma gasped. “You’re already so wet for me, love.”

“Just for you,” Emma moaned, arching her back as Killian’s finger brushed across her clit. Slowly he teased light circles over her, quickening his pace whenever she moaned for him. “Killian. . .”

The way she moaned his name nearly drove Killian into a frenzy. “Tell me what you want, Emma,” he purred against her ear.

“You . . . inside,” Emma breathed.

“We’ll get there, my love.” Killian chuckled, capturing her lips with his, their tongues crashing together in a messy, delicious dance. He slipped a finger inside her, eliciting a groan from Emma. He ground his hips against her thigh, needing to relieve some of the pressure building in his cock. Emma’s hand snaked between them. Cautiously, she stroked him over the soft material of his boxers. Killian groaned against her mouth. “Fuck, Emma.”

He wanted to tell her not to worry about him, that this was about her, but the nights he spent thinking about how she would touch him made this first moment too much for him to form a comprehensive sentence. Killian gasped at the feeling of her hand slipping beneath his waistband and wrapping around him. In response he slipped a second finger into her, pumping in and out a little faster.

Emma’s head was spinning with the intoxicating sensations racing through her body. She stroked her hand over Killina’s full length until she could take it any longer. “Fuck, Killian-” she moaned. “So close.”

“Come for me, Emma,” he growled, thumb finding her clit to help her over the edge. Emma fell apart, her orgasm coming in waves over her as she cried out Killian’s name into the darkness of the room, pleasure possessing every inch of her body.

When she finally opened her eyes again, she saw Killian watching her and blushed furiously. “Hi.” She gave him a shy smile.

He smiled back at her. “Hi.”

Emma kissed him, softly at first and more passionately as she started to come back to herself. “I want you.”

“Emma . . .” Killian hesitated, wanting to make sure this was really what she wanted. And god did he hope it was what she wanted.

“Please.”

He reached for the box on the nightstand, rolling onto his back next to her. Emma watched as he opened the box to pull out a foil packet. His hair was a mess, sticking out in different directions and falling onto his forehead, and somehow he looked sexier than when he had every strand in place to match the very put together look of his vest and dress pants. His breathing was slightly labored with anticipation. He had a tattoo of an anchor on the top of his arm by his shoulder.

Killian lifted his hips to push his boxers off and Emma’s breath caught in her throat. Killian noticed Emma’s staring and raised an eyebrow, smirking at her. “See something you like, Swan?”

Emma’s face turned bright red. “Maybe.”

Killian kissed her quickly before returning his attention to the foil package. He carefully tore it open and rolled the condom down his length while Emma pulled her panties off, tossing them to the floor. Killian settled between her legs, resting on his forearms to keep his weight from crushing her beneath him. Her arms wrapped around him holding him close to her.

In that moment, the rush of passion, the unbearable heat between them slowly dissipated into a loving tenderness, a gentle caress of warmth surrounding them.  

“Go slow,” Emma whispered, a soft encouragement for Killian not to stop.

“Aye, my love.” His hand reached between them, guiding himself into her slowly. Emma hissed slightly, her nails digging into Killian’s back. Immediately he stilled. “Emma?”

“Don’t stop.”

So he didn’t. He pushed in slowly until he was fully sheathed, whispered profanities falling from his lips. Killian dropped his head, placing a sensual kiss to Emma’s shoulder. “How are you?”

Weird. Full. Stretched. Those were the first words that came to Emma’s mind. She needed a second to gather her thoughts. Killian had the self control of a saint at that moment. He gave her the time, the silence, she needed, playing with the ends of the long, blond hair (really to distract himself from the desire to pull his hips back and push back into her because fuck she felt incredible).

When she adjusted to his length: Good. So good. More.  

“Killian,” Emma whispered against his shoulder, “you feel so good.”

“Fuck, Emma.” Killian groaned, pulling his hips back slowly before pushing back into her. Emma let her eyes close. Her hands knotted in his hair, keeping him close to her. “You feel incredible.”

She moaned softly in response and Killian picked up his pace, pushing into her a little faster, a little harder. “Yes. Killian.”

Killian muttered profanities that could make any sailor blush, his self control slipping from his grasp. He kept a steady pace, not too slow, not too fast, hitting her in just the right spot over and over. Nothing compared to the feeling of Killian inside her, the way his hips rolled effortlessly against hers, the way his lips moved against her shoulder and her neck as he whispered dirty nothings to her, edging her on.

“Emma, god I can’t-” Killian moaned against her. “I’m gonna -”

She used his words against him. “Come for me, Killian.”

And with that he came undone above her, coming with a cry of her name and nearly collapsing on top of her as his orgasm shook his entire body. Emma’s hips rolled against his, working him through it, working him down. Her hands softly stroked his hair, now slightly damp with sweat.

He slowly pulled out, kissing her forehead softly, allowing his lips to linger there for a moment. “I’ll be right back.”

Emma whimpered at the loss of his weight on her, comforting like a weighted blanket. It wasn’t long before he came back from the master bathroom, condom discarded and a warm, damp washcloth in hand that he used to gently clean between her legs. Emma signed softly at the pleasant contact. He tossed the cloth into the laundry bin and settled back into bed next to Emma who turned on her side to face him, cuddling close.

“How are you?” Killian asked.

“Wonderful.” Emma admitted, relaxing against him. Her thoughts began to intrude on the moment. “Did you. . . Did you like it?”

Killian nearly scoffed. “I should be asking you that!”

“I asked first.” Emma teased. This was easy. This was them. Silly bantering. Caring words.

He chuckled, playing with her hair, nuzzling his nose against hers. “How could I not like it? It was with you.” Emma blushed.  “Now you have to answer.”

Emma shrugged. “Eh. It was fine,” she toyed.

Killian’s jaw dropped. “You little minx.” Emma broke into a fit of giggles and he playfully swatted at her ass. “You take that back!”

She kissed him, playfully, smiling against his lips. “Yes. It was -” She paused.

“What?”

“Nothing, it’s silly.”

“Tell me.”

“It was almost as good as my dreams,” she admitted, partially teasing him, mostly being sincere.

He grinned. “Glad to hear I wasn’t the only one dreaming of this.”

They took turns showering. Emma was exhausted and, honestly, not quite up for round two just yet so Killian gave her some space. When she was done, she changed into her pajamas and pulled out her glasses and Station Eleven to read while waiting for Killian to return to bed.

“Glasses suit you, love.” Killian commented when he emerged from his shower in nothing but a towel.

Emma smirked, half hearing him while she was engrossed in her book. “A towel suits you.”

Killian chuckled, pulling out pajamas from the dresser. “You haven’t looked up for a second.”

“Shhhhhh. Two characters just disappeared. I need to know what happens.”            

He pulled on his pajamas before collapsing on the bed next to her. Killian watched her for a moment, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration behind her glasses. She was beautiful. Always. She was beautiful when she was dressed for work, when she was dressed for a night out with her friends, when she was lost in concentration, when she was frustrated, when her hair was damp and she was getting ready for bed, when she was dolled up for a date, when she was nervous, when she was confident, when she was teasing him, when she was vulnerable with him, when she was exhausted, when she was dancing in the middle of the aisle in the supermarket.

“I’m glad you’re here.” Her said softly, almost to himself as he traces patterns absentmindedly on her thigh over her pajama bottoms.

Emma looked down from her book at him lying next to her. She closed the book, marking her space with a torn piece of paper she was using as a make-shift bookmark, before turning the light off and settling down next to him, her nose inches from his. “I’m glad you invited me. I really did need a break.”

“Aye, I know love,” he said before kissing her softly.

“Thank you, by the way. Dinner was lovely.”  

“It was my pleasure, Swan.”

Emma rolled onto her other side, her back pressed against Killian’s chest. She held his arm close against her as their legs tangled together in a way that was nearly impossible to tell where one of them ended and the other began.   “Goodnight, Killian,” she whispered softly, her eyes fluttering close as exhaustion began to take over her.

Killian breathed in the comforting scent of her lavender shampoo. “Goodnight, my love.”                                                                                                        

That was the first time Emma had slept through the night since the incident. Warm and safe in Killian’s arms, she never wanted to leave.

[shapeshifting-wildcard]

It was a lazy summer afternoon. Joker was helping out behind the counter today, but he had time to spare for a new friend. Especially one who was going to teach him a new skill he could use as a Phantom Thief. At first glance, learning how to divine through tarot cards didn't seem like a particularly useful skill. But the point was to hone his supernatural abilities through a known occult focus. Besides, Arisato was a more experienced Persona-user, and a fellow wildcard on top of it. She was bound to have some sort of useful experience to pass along to a young up-and-coming thief like him, right?

The deck she slid over to him looked rather pretty, he had to admit. The backs were a purple, starry field. In the center was a stylized sun, surrounded by a ring of heavily stylized animals. He could recognize a bird and a turtle, and the third looked vaguely like a dragon? Much more of a western-style dragon than an eastern one. Were they meant to represent the four heavenly beasts? Because the fourth one looked more like a fox than a tiger.

He picked up the deck and flipped it over, revealing the front of the cards. He thumbed through it, admiring the vibrant colors and the ethereal, watercolor-y feel of the images. Each image had this flow to it, drawing the eye exactly where it needed to go. Or, at least, that's how Joker felt.

A particular image caught his eye as he flipped through them. An individual in a pointed, birdlike mask, sporting black wings and a bestial lower half and carrying a sword. Crows circled around them, and a big white swan stood above, wings spread wide and its back facing the figure crouched on the ground.

"They're really pretty, aren't they?" the girl sitting at the counter commented. She leaned forward a bit to see which card he was lingering on, and let out a soft laugh. "Seven of Swords, huh? Well, the booklet does compare that one to a thief. So it'd make sense that you'd find it interesting."

She flashed him a cheeky grin as he huffed at her. The only reason you're getting away with that is because there's no one else around. He's supposed to be sneaky. It's hard to do that when everyone keeps outing your status as a Phantom Thief. He frowned as he kept flipping through the cards, mostly as an excuse to ignore her giggling. He stopped again on another card. Five of Pentacles. A figure sat hunched over in a corner, curled in on themself. Their face was hidden from view, their only companions a butterfly floating in front of them and a vaguely attentive lizard on another platform. The image gave off an uncomfortable feeling of loneliness, of isolation. Of losing something you can never truly get back.

He saw her lean forward to see what caught his attention this time. Before she could get a good look, he stacked the deck back together and slid it over to her, leaning over the counter and pulling up his phone. She couldn't speak sign, unfortunately, so he'd have to make due with note-passing.

"So, where do we start?" She glanced at the phone and smiled, picking up the deck and tapping it on the counter.

"Well, obviously, the first thing you do is shuffle all the cards." She slid the deck back towards him. "It's better if you have the person asking the question shuffle the cards. I guess it gives them a feel for the question-asker or something?"

Joker shrugged and picked up the deck again. He split the deck and tried to do that trick where you leaf the cards together. If you do it right, you should release the cards one at a time in turn, one from each side of the deck. Unfortunately for Joker, it did not turn out quite so neatly. It was more like a few chunks of cards came out at a time, smacking against the counter rather ungracefully. Arisato offered him a sympathetic smile.

"Yeah, I'm still not the greatest at shuffling them, either. But it's okay, just give it a couple tries to make sure it's shuffled enough for you."

His other attempts were not much more successful, but at least he was fairly sure the cards were properly mixed up at this point. He slid the deck back over to her. "Now what?"

"Now, there's a lot of different kinds of spreads you can use, depending on the question and what you want to know. Let's start with a really, really simple one: the single-card spread. You ask a question, then draw a card and see what turns up. It can be any question! Like... 'will I do well on the next exam,' or 'what should I do with my time today,' or 'what should I get my friend for their birthday?'"

Joker hummed thoughtfully, leaning his elbows against the counter as he stared at the deck. Any question, huh? Well... there were a million serious questions he could ask. The exam question was certainly very tempting, but he had a feeling that would be an obvious answer. "Study hard or perish."

A smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth as a cheeky question flitted across his mind. He picked up his phone and typed it in. "Will I find love?"

Arisato smiled and gave him a nod. "Okay, that works! Now, since this one is easy enough, why don't you draw the card and set it down right here?"

She pointed next to the deck, so Joker dutifully drew a card from the top of the deck and laid it out on the counter in front of him.

And blinked.

It was the Lovers.

Arisato took one look at the card and burst out laughing. "Well, if that isn't the most succinct 'yes' I've ever seen!"

Joker's face felt hot as he sank against the counter. He wasn't expecting such a straightforward response. Honestly he'd been expecting something random, like that five of pentacles. Arisato continued to giggle at his expense for a moment. Once she regained some composure, she reached over and gently tapped the card.

"To be fair, the Lovers card represents more than just, well, lovers," she explained. "It represents a union—of hearts, minds, passions, stuff like that—but it also represents a choice. Pursuing a career versus pursuing love, something old versus something new, excitement versus routine, stuff like that." She flipped the card around towards herself, pursing her lips as she studied it. "It won't be an easy choice. You'll question your values and what you hold most dear. But in the end, you'll come to an understanding—of yourself or the other person, or maybe both. But it'll be an understanding nonetheless."

Joker watched her for a moment, noticing the distant, thoughtful look in her eye. For a moment, he forgot she was only a year older than him. He reached for his bangs and twirled a lock of hair between his fingers, pondering what to say next.

"You sound like you have some experience."

He slid the phone closer to her, sneaking it into her view to catch her attention. She jumped and blinked at the screen, before letting out a self-conscious chuckle.

"You could say that," she said. She glanced back at the card for a moment, sighed, and turned it back to face him. "Ann's the Lovers for you, isn't she? So you've probably already seen a little of it for yourself."

Joker grunted and played with his bangs again. True, he had spent some time getting to know Ann. And spending time with her did seem to involve her having to make some big choices. But... maybe it's just how Ann was, but the choices she made never really seemed too difficult for her. The decision to strengthen her heart never seemed to give her much trouble outside of practical concerns. It didn't seem like any sort of ethical dilemma, or something that made her question everything she thought she knew.

Then again, Ann never struck him as the type for long-winded introspection. Her intuition always seemed to serve as her guide, leading seamlessly from one idea to the next even as she jumped around between them. It was interesting to watch her thought process sometimes.

"So, what did you think of that?" Arisato's question brought him out of his thoughts. He tilted his head and gave her a curious look. "Of the reading, I mean. It was a really basic reading, but does how it works make sense?"

Joker nodded, leaning against the counter again and pulling the phone back towards him. "It seems straightforward enough."

"The larger spreads get more complicated and require a bit more thinking. The one and three card spreads are the easiest and most straightforward. Though most answers probably aren't going to be as blatant as that!"

Joker chuckled. "I wasn't expecting it to be, in all honesty. At least it wasn't something ominous, like Death."

Arisato hummed thoughtfully. "Well, Death in that context might be a little ominous, but not because it means someone is fated to die or something." Joker gave her another curious look and she continued. "Death isn't about dying, it's about transitions and change. While it signifies the end of one thing, it also signifies the beginning of something else. So, in the context of your question..." She trailed off as she thought, idly tapping the deck. "It might mean whatever relationship you're currently in is going to end, but it'll open you up to a new one. Or, you'll only find love after something else in your life ends. Like, maybe you'll have to wait until the end of the year, or until you graduate high school."

Joker sighed dramatically. "But I hate waiting!"

Arisato laughed. "So I've noticed." She shot a meaningful glance towards his bandaged neck. "I guess it's a good thing you didn't end up with the Death card then, huh?"

"Lovers sounds much more hopeful, anyway," Joker typed.

"It does." She gathered up her cards and shuffled the Lovers card back into the deck. "You can keep playing around with them if you want."

Joker shook his head. "I should get back to work. A customer could come in any moment, you know."

"That's true. I won't bother you, then. If you want another lesson, though, just give me a shout!"

Joker nodded, typing a quick thank you before he busied himself with cleaning out the coffee machines. That one lesson did give him a lot to think about, at the very least.

At the back of his mind, a voice whispered the formation of a new bond: an alternate Death arcana. Oh, this should prove to be very interesting indeed.

[ibythetidepromotions]

An interview with: Wax Vessel

Could you introduce yourself to the readers?

Nik Velleca - Founder/Owner/waytolongofaresponder

What led to the inception of Wax Vessel?

It’s actually a story in a couple of parts: the name (which is not interesting), the year before it started (mildly Interesting) and then the actual launch! Maybe two years ago I really wanted to get in to the whole Instagram vinyl collection showcase scene. Made a second account called Wax Casket (because it sounded cool) and did a couple hundred posts. No big deal. But at that time, it kind of out the inkling of an idea in my head. Fast forward a year or so, and Simon from WFAHM and I were taking about how literally every influential album from 2000-2010 was never pressed on vinyl. We thought about teaming up to do Ion Dissonance in vinyl (which is still a huge goal). It never materialized, so the label pages (renamed to Wax Vessel) kind of got shelved. Speaking of the name Wax Vessel (rant incoming) I landed on that name because I’m so fed up with the start of digital. MySpace deleting song libraries. Hard drives crashing. CDs getting bit rot. The only try archival format is vinyl. You could pull a WV release of a shelf in 2219 and it would still play. It’s a “time capsule” or “Vessel” for preserving history. Anyway. Fast forward to like 5 months ago - I had just stumbled upon PRR and they told me they were doing Destroyer Destroyer. I asked if I could just press the records to accompany that release, and viola! Here we are!

Wax Vessel is very unique, you what always comes to mind when I think of extremely rare and beautiful presses. What process goes into getting your visions to come together properly at the pressing plant?

So I’m glad you touched on this, because artisanal (barf) pressings are one of the tentpole features of WV. There’s so much that can be done with the format that it seems like an insult to just do single color records. I figured if I was going to bring all of these albums back from the dead after decades of never having a physical release, it might as well be in style! Otherwise someone will just repress it hah. But each release is its own project. My goal are always to have the color play with the album art, while also pushing the physical medium itself. Everything is very case-by-case, with the number of variants and the type of variant really just being subject to my mood haha.

Recently announced was the pressing for Dr. Acula’s S.L.O.B, congratulations on making it to WV007! From the posts I’ve seen on social media, you guys are really excited about this release. How would you describe Dr. Acula to someone who has never heard of them before?

Thanks! Dr. Acula was a huge one for me, they’re one of the forefathers of Deathcore in my opinion. They’re that early, wonky type of proto-Deathcore that uses a lot of samples before breakdowns and has a lot of inside jokes. It’s just fun, without taking itself too seriously.

They obviously got much bigger later, but SLOB was such a classic album, and a standout release from 187 records at the time (who really deserve all the credit for basically being the label pioneers of the genre along with Debello and BMA).

Wax Vessel focuses on pressing music from the MySpace era of metal. What about that era made it so memorable  and dear to your heart that you decided to resurrect it in the wax form?

Man, prepare to watch me get spun up on this, haha. I’m really terrible at organizing my thoughts in to a cohesive essay on the topic, so as a kind of “stream of conciseness” ramble please accept this: 2000-2010 was just peak music. It was a digital Wild West with a bunch of talented Midwesterner pioneering new sounds for niche audiences. It was a perfect storm of a bunch of cultural factors playing out all at once. Literally all of these trailblazing bands were pushing envelopes and rail blazing new genres for No monetary gain and no fame. Every single review form music media was “this is unlistenable garbage”. They absolutely did not get the recognition they deserved at the time. I mean the “scene revival/20-9-scene” is more popular than the actual scene at the time! So what happens when you mix this new way to make music (digital production) with a new way to reach fans (social media/MySpace)? You get a fucking no holds barred race to make the most niche, unlistenable music in existence. The decade was a fucking blip in music history and then was lost to the ages. The internet was too young to preserve it, and to young for anyone to really use to their advantage. Just a lost decade. So I think that’s worth preserving. Especially since YouTube rips are the only thing left.

The default vinyl color of black is never an option with your releases, always seeing high quality, creative options for your limited presses. What is the reasoning behind this stylistic choice?

Black is such a fucking cop out. It’s only to save money. It’s lazy and requires no finesse or imagination. If you’re going to press records, go all in. Like imagine building a house in 2019 with all the modern amenities and building materials we have at our disposal and just building a 6-sided box. So boring. And for everyone who says it sounds best - black (carbon) is an additive for strength. Natural PVC is additive free and sounds better. So when I need a cheaper variant to offset the cost of some of the more expensive ones, natural PVC is always my go-to.

Have there been any challenges so far with the process of mastering these old files on vinyl? Were any of the music files hard to come across?

You have no idea! I feel like a lot of people see WV and then want to start a vinyl label, haha. But there’s so much craziness behind the scenes! Let’s start at the top - WV will only do a release if the band is on board, and the rights are retained. Mechanical licensing retained. Full quality tracks hunted down and mastered for vinyl. New art made (no one has their old art files) and laid out for vinyl. Then after all that, I have to drop $4k at the plant to get it pressed. Then promos and art made, coordinating with ZBR on timelines, etc. But none of that can happen without the tracks. Most of the time the band will have the master bounces, and it’s not that difficult. But on a couple of occasions I’ve had to rip old demos from personal CDs. I’ve even had to pay for a hard drive to be recovered for a band member so we could get tracks! I really believe that vinyl isn’t just for the fashion, so having great sounding records is top priority. Can’t do that with a YouTube rip! If we can’t get the best quality tracks, I won’t do it!

Any possibility of there being Wax Vessel merch down the road?

I mean I’m not sure anyone would give a shit! But if like 10 people messaged me and said they wanted a shirt, you bet! We would whip up a cool “no represses” design or something, haha. Maybe 2020!

With a new year right around the corner, what are some goals for kicking off the new decade in 2020?

2020 souls have some cool “firsts” for sure! I’ve got our first multi-LP box set dropping. First project with a hand-painted cover. First modern release (under a different side name, don’t want to dilute the WV name haha). Really what if love to do in 2020 is press Psyopus to round out the techgrind section. That’s a big goal! I’d also love to have a both and sell LPs at like a festival, but they all sell out too quick!

Anything else you would like to tell the readers before we go? Just a couple of blurbs! People always forget that wax Vessel is a non-profit and we give 100% of the money to the bands. So remember that the next time you think I’m an asshole for not doing something you like! We got a lot of hate mail about not doing represses, haha. To that point, there will never be represses. It’s a sticking point. I don’t want to make records that end up in dollar bins and eBay lots. I’d rather leave money on the table. I want to great collector items that will be cherished. All of these bands have been defunct for a decade. No one is coming back to just to try and make a quick buck. These are all swan song little fun presses for the core group of fans. For the 200 weirdo left who still care about early 2000s techgrind and vinyl, haha. It’s niche, but no one wants to make any money. It’s just a fun thing for the scene. Remember this is all for fun! Additionally, I see a lot of miscommunications that I’d like to get on the record! Please remember: Wax Vessel is its own thing. Not an imprint or affiliated with anyone. I shoulder all cost, design, etc for everything! So it’s very much WV as the label. I hate shipping and fulfillment, so ZBR [Zegema Beach Records] is WV’s official store. The mega studs over there (Dave and Dave) definitely allow WV to exist. If I had to ship everything, it would be one release a year haha. And super not last, WV couldn’t exist without Ryan Peter. I have absolutely no scene Fred, and Ryan gets fucking results. He almost single-handedly spreads the word and gets bands on board. Literally invaluable. All the records in the world mean nothing if you can’t get any bands to agree to get pressed! He’s a MySpace madman!!

Wax Vessel Social Media:

Facebook

Instagram

Website [Coming Soon]

Big Cartel [Coming Soon]

Merch through Zegema Beach Records

[disposedserenity]

*rough* review of MOTS:7

The title might say review, but it’s really just my own thoughts that I want to share in the form of verbal vomit. STREAM while u read.

1) Interlude: SHADOW I loved the song right away on first listen. The extended version is soooo good, because it traces back to yoongi’s iconic ‘I want big house, big cars, big rings’ line from NMD. Thematically, this is my favourite concept out of the 3 rap line solos (Persona, Shadow & Ego). Yoongi songs all immediately reasonate with me because the stuff he writes about are what I’ve experienced at one point in my life.... and I feel so deeply when yoongi is rapping about it. At this point, I could go on forever about why I love yoongi songs so much but I will stop here.

2) Black Swan

It took me about three listens to fully appreciate the song, but I KNEW I was going to love it when I heard that trap beat and the bump bump bump lyric... Then I watched the performance, and I just loved it even more. For years, I’ve been fervently wishing that bts (especially jimin) would do a contemporary dance and I AM SO GLAD THEY DID!! Speaking of the dance, that’s another analysis on it’s own.... The way they match the dance steps to the lyrics.... Also this song lined up right after shadow makes perfect sense because Shadow talks about losing yourself into the deepest and darkest recesses of your soul while in Black Swan, the boys step into that shadow and confront it because they realise you have to make peace with your shadow to emerge triumphant.

3) Filter

I swear, this could be an Alec Benjamin song because this song has Alec Benjamin VIBES all over. Well, I guess jimin took inspiration from him because he put a ton of alec’s songs on his spotify playlist and even went to his concert so yey! Both their voice tones are similar ish because it’s very distinct and their singing voices are quite different from their speaking voices so it’d be really cool if they made a song together. Funnily enough, I don’t really like this song as much as I thought I’d would. It’s not a bad song, but I think I don’t gravitate to this song as much because this song was written about jimin for jimin and it’s really himself that he’s singing it to.

This song also radiates BIG libra energy. Libras love changing and moulding their personalities to please other people and they put on various personas to showcase the multi-faceted sides of themselves (sorry, just a huge astrology enthusiast here lolol). Filter has a narcissist undertone to it done in a purposeful manner. The protagonist of this song KNOWS he’s desired and is flaunting it in any way possible. They are aware of the power they hold and are wielding it to control the listener (the pursuers) Ahahaha sounds like someone we know? Recently, I told a friend that Jimin is really good at fan service. He’s the idol of idols, his face and name gets recognised first, everyone wants to be him AND be with him.... To sum it up, filter is jimin showing the world that he has many sides and it doesn’t matter which we are going to choose because he can adapt to whichever one you please (this push and pull reminds me a lot of house of cards hmm...)

4) My Time

Jungkook definitely has some magic where his song always gets to me and I immediately like the song. I think he excels in laying out his emotions bare and this creates a perfect canvas for telling his story. I definitely cannot relate to what he talks about in My TIme because I am not a jetsetting global superstar who vary between time zones (not that I know of), yet I still feel like I’ve been in his exact footsteps and know that feeling. This, my friends, is what true skill looks like. The rarest of musicians are able to write a song about themselves and make it relevant to almost everyone. It’s an impossible task. Yet, this golden maknae has succeeded once again.

In Begin, he talks about leaving Seoul to pursue his dreams and dedicates that song to his 6 members, his 6 newfound brothers, the hardships they go through and again, this hits you hard. You might not have left your hometown at a young age, but everyone has left something or someone behind in their lives. Euphoria ALWAYS makes me melancholic even though I clearly 1) am not young, 2) do not have a first love 3) minus bts, would NOT call anyone the cause of my euphoria but shit, jungkook out here got me feeling things and tearing up.

Thank you jungkook for constantly expressing your thoughts in such a clear way in any song you write, and My Time is no exception (and it sounds like such a r&b banger too)

5) Louder than Bombs

TROYE! SIVAN! You absolutely can hear troye’s fingerprints all over this song because this song sounds like a troye song (in the best way possible, because I looooove troye and his music) This is another classic “happy sounding but sad af lyrics” bangtan moment. Louder than Bombs is a good midway point in the album because they are crossing into the sad, aggressive, heart tearing, no bullshit songs territory.

(I don’t have a lot to say about this because I really love this song and sometimes with songs that I like, I just sit back and enjoy for what it is.)

6) ON

OKAY NOW LET’S GET INTO FORMATION! (yes, this was the first thing that it reminded me of hahaha and her superbowl half time performance had a marching band too) THIS.IS.SUCH.AN.ABSOLUTE.EARWORM. I LOVE IT. The 30 second preview made me so intrigued because it only featured the “hey na na na” part so I wondered what ON would sound like. I was NOT expecting it to sound like that, but what can I say? BTS always blows me away with their title tracks.

Speaking of formation, hooooo boy do I love the formation of this choreography. Mad props to The Lab for pulling this out of their hat because IT IS SO IMPRESSIVE. The set up reminds me of dionysus too, in the way that the choreography is being arranged in the live performances. Big ups to the Blue Devils marching band too, because even though you can’t really see much of them in the mv (or maybe I’m too focused on the boys lol) but you can hear the marching band so much clearer in the audio and I am LIVING for it. Overall, I am utterly thrilled by this masterpiece.

7) UGH!

*gunshots* alright back to 2013 bangtan let’s go. UGH, when will rap line stop making a banger? never I guess, UGH. lord, just let me get dissed by rap line once and then life would be better.

I. fucking. love. the. rap. line. I am definitely not smart enough to try to analyse or decipher the lyrics even with translations because their wordplay is on a whole other level. With cyphers and ddaeng, I really shouldn’t be surprised anymore but I still am. They manage to outdo themselves with every new song they release together. RM, Suga and J-Hope are great on their own but you put them TOGETHER? in one STUDIO? god help us all when this is performed live because someone’s gonna get headbanged out of the venue. I’ll end this with a silent prayer for a rap line concert.....

8) 00:00

This song is so, so, so painful. This song is what Tonight is to me. Ok I’m going to get a whole lot more personal here.

I was in a fucking terrible internship last year during the period Persona was released (I’m actually quite thankful this song wasn’t released then or I’d really have full on goblin ugly cry listening to this). That was the worst job experience I’ve ever had in my life (lao tian ye please don’t deal me any more shitty hands). I spent every day wishing that my misery would end soon and I physically did not want to go to work the next day. Every morning, I was almost crying to have to get up to go to work (and because it was an almost 2 hour journey to the office). By the time I reached home, all I could do was eat (if I had an appetite) and retire to my room and lie on the floor and just stare into my ceiling while mindlessly scrolling through social media looking for some sort of solace. Some days, even bts wasn’t doing it for me. Even though I managed to get out of that hellhole before the end date, the trauma (lol can I call it that?) and emotions stayed with me throughout the rest of the year. Only one friend knew I had depression and constantly asked me about it (thank you friend, even though you won’t read this...) and I even looked up therapists in singapore.

The lyrics ‘An unsettling night, suddenly, I look at the clock. Soon, it’s 12 O’Clock. Will something change. It probably won’t be the case’ hits so hard because this describes my situation to a T. By the time I got home, it was about 8.30 and by the time I snapped out of my mindlessness, it was almost midnight and this cycle just carried on for months. 

Zero O’Clock

And you gonna be happy

Midnight is both a happy and sad hour, because for some it could signal the end of their misery or their happiness. Back then, it was my hell because it meant a new hellish day was approaching. Looking back now, I realise it could have been a tiny form of happiness because it meant that the days are passing and the end to my pain was getting closer.

So thank you Jin, Jungkook, V and Jimin for creating such a beautiful song that I didn’t know would end up being so personal. Putting aside the meaning, it is such a great song that I’d put on repeat. But I’m scared to call this a favourite because of how intimate this is for me so I hope y’all understand. But, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

9) Inner Child

This sounds like it should be a in a drama or anime haha. The “whoa ohhhh” vocals in the backgrounds reminds me a lot of Jet Lag too. Inner Child is a very fitting title because as V described, it is a letter to his past self. As an ARMY, I’ve witnessed how much V has matured over the past few years. I mean even though all of the members have also grown, V’s transformation is the one that stands out the most (at least to me). Tae went from a bright eyed outgoing kid to a still outgoing but deeply contemplative adult in front of millions of adoring fans and strangers alike, and I cannot imagine how that must be like for him. V is a notoriously private person, and we know the least about if you reeeally think about it. I will never (nor do I want to) know what goes through his mind but I appreciate the fact he reveals a tiny glimpse of it in his songs (scenery, winter bear and now inner child).

10) Friends

CAN YOU SPELL SOULMATES? NO YOU CAN’T, BECAUSE THERE IS NO VMIN IN IT. Ships are cute and all, but vmin has trascended beyond what ships are and I’m convinced they are all part of a bigger plan arranged by the Almighty that no matter what happens, they will always find each other in their four lives (can you tell I’ve been watching Goblin lolol). Recently, I was listening to a podcast by Jae and the episode was about the probability of soulmates. One of the questions he posed was what is a soulmate? To me, I believe that soulmates exist in many forms. There are the romantic soulmates (hi glenn & benn), friendship soulmates, family soulmates, strangers soulmates and even a bond between a pet and a human. I now think there should be another category of soulmates and that is vmin. *cries I want what vmin have* Not everyone manages to find their soulmates. The lucky ones do, and the rest of us will have to settle for second best.

Also kudos to Jimin for his first ever produced song! woohoo

11) Moon

When I first read that this was a song about Jin’s love for ARMY, I braced myself for a full waterfall of tears. However, I was pleasantly surprised by how happy this song sounds??? (thanks jin for not making me cry again like tonight did). Now that I think about it, of course Jin would make a happy love song (pffft saggis). As we all know, Jin’s way of comforting himself is to comfort others through laughter, smiles and lotsa dad jokes. No one else but Jin would and I love him even more for this. He takes the idea of what you’d think a love song would sound like and turn it around. SAD? NOT IN JINHIT ENTERTAINMENT.

Jin, know that you are more than a handsome face and the oldest member. You are loved more than you think you are. You think you’re the moon to us? No hun, you are the entire galaxy contained in those worldwide shoulders.

12) Respect

My favourite track. I mean starting with that iconic “should I stay or should I go” line? Genuis. Collab of the year. Namgi of the year. Ok, maybe I am slightly (alot) bias since this song is essentially Suga, RM & El Capitixn (yes, THE El Capitixn that helped to produce DDAENG).

Namgi dynamics are so rarely talked about because most people see them as the underground rapper duo who’ve known each other over 10 years and are old friends and that’s about it. Their dynamics just gets to me even more because the trust and respect they have for each other is incredible. Joon looks up to yoongi as an older member and also for his incredible work ethic, while yoongi trusts joon wholeheartedly as their leader even though joon is younger and the way they banter off each other? ugh, where can I get bros like namgi? Their rap and producing styles are so vastly different yet the result that is respect makes ME respect them. Use me as your slave, masters.

bonus: that ending clip of them just having a convo? please share your stories from back in the day, please. I said please. with a cherry on top.

13) We are Bulletroof: the Eternal

Is this MOTS : 7′s answer to Mikrokosmos? I can already imagine this as the ending song of a concert..... A perfect tune to end the album as well. Who knew my attraction to the number seven had a deeper meaning than just simply liking it huh? Is my life preplanned too.... @ universe  give me answers. I really like how this song did not go the WABB Part 1 & 2 route and took a softer approacher indeed. It’s almost like they are saying we were seven hardened boys made more tender with the existence of armys.... ok bitch don’t make me cry anymore than I have been suppressing.

“we are not seven, with you” :’))))

14) Outro: Ego

This is the kind of song that gets better the more you listen to it. Not that it was bad on the first listen, but usually such bright and positive songs takes a while longer for the emo in me to process. I say this all the time that I almost sound like a broken recorder, but I LOVE LOVE how hobi has crafted a sound for him that is uniquely his and you will be able to immediately recognise it’s him (which is such a hard feat to pull off, might I add). I’m also immensely proud because he started out as a street dancer to becoming one of the best rappers in the industry while holding his rightful candle alongside two already established rappers that is namgi. I cannot wait to see this being performed live because you just know he’ll get everyone and their grandmas to start vibin right there.

In conclusion, I love bts. what else is there more to say.

[thejollyroger-writer]

Tricks & Treats

Art by: @branlovesouat  - which is perfect and excellent and perfectly captures parts of this story. The way Emma and Killian are looking at each other, the smiles on Henry and Alice’s faces--it’s just perfect!

Author: flamboyantanaconda surprise, it’s me!! I absolutely loved being part of this event and getting to share this story with everyone in a blind date format for the first time ever. The story started out as a tiny little one-shot, and then everyone started having feelings and very emotional back stories and suddenly turned into y favorite thing I’ve ever written. Thanks to the mods for putting this perfect event together and helping us spread our love of Captain Swan! 

Rated G—general audiences. Just a cute, fluffy Halloween-themed one-shot

Wanna read me on AO3 instead?

SUMMARY:

This will be Alice Jones’ first Halloween since moving to Storybrooke from England, and spending time with Henry Swan is the only positive she can see in joining the Storybrooke Elementary tradition of trick-or-treating together, but the only way she will go is if he father, retired soccer player Killian Jones, agrees to come with her. Because Killian will do anything for his daughter, he finds himself at Henry Swan’s front door dressed in his old pirate costume—but the blonde witch that he meets makes up for any embarrassment he may have felt. Will the Jones family’s first Halloween in Storybrooke be filled with tricks, or treats?

“Please, papa,” she pleads, sitting in front of him on the floor as he brushes her hair. “I told Henry that I would go with him, but I’m scared. What if I do it wrong? The girls in the class already don’t like me, and this would just give them a reason to be meaner.”

Killian can’t help but let out the small laugh that fills his chest with Alice’s statement. “Listen, starfish, I know you’re nervous, but I’m fairly sure that there’s not a wrong way to trick-or-treat.”

“Well, if there is, surely I would be the one to learn it the hard way!”

“Alice, darling, all you need to do is to ask your friend Henry. After everything you have told me about him, I feel confident that he will give you any assistance you may need, and will probably even do so before we leave his house.”

“But what if he doesn’t?! What if he just—just assumes that I know what I’m doing, doesn’t even stop to think that I’ve never done this before, and then I’ll embarrass myself in front of him! Oh! , I wouldn’t be able to get over that! I would never be able to leave the house ever again!”

“You should never be too embarrassed to ask for help, especially from a boy as charming and understanding as this Henry of yours.”

She whips her head around to face him, almost taking the hairbrush with her, and when her bright blue eyes meet his, they are filled with excitement, adventure and… something else that Killian cannot quite place.

“You should just come with me, papa! I know you still have that pirate costume that you would wear with the team for Halloween visits. I’ve seen it in your closet! You could just put on your costume, and come with me to Henry’s, make sure I don’t make a complete fool of myself, and then—and then I’ll have a reason not to go to Gina’s Halloween party!”

“I thought you already told Henry that you would go with him to the party?”

But Alice ignores his question, her words already flying from her at a mile a minute. “Who holds a party every Halloween, anyway? And why does it have to be the mayor’s daughter? The mayor’s daughter, who she named after herself, by the way! And what do they do when Halloween isn’t on a Friday? When it’s on a school night? Or a Sunday night? Because everyone knows they’re the worst nights to stay up late since nobody ever wants to get up on Monday, after being able to sleep in the two days beforehand.” She pushes herself up off the floor, straightens out the white apron tied over her light blue dress, and begins pacing in front of him. “And, yes, I did already tell Henry that I would go with him to this party, but that doesn’t mean I have to! I am only ten years old, so I shouldn’t be expected to keep every promise I make, but I know that it would be so much better if you came with me! At least to Henry’s, and to the first few houses until I get the hang of what it is I’m supposed to do!” She turns to him to see him smiling up at her from his position on the floor, and huffs, a frown taking over her very expressive face. “Come on, papa! I don’t see how this is funny.”

If he was completely honest with himself, Killian would agree that he, too, does not know why it’s funny. Because, of course, his daughter is the most important thing in his life, and damned if he wouldn’t do anything for her.

Even if that means pulling the pirate costume out of the back of his closet, reliving the days when he and the rest of the team would don these ridiculous outfits and visit the children’s hospital.

Back when he was part of something, part of a team.

Back when he was a whole man.

Back before the accident.

In place of his prosthetic hand, he slides the hook over the stump of his left arm, a gift, half-joke, half-serious, from his best friend and starting forward, Will Scarlett, perhaps the only player on the team that was more of a star than he was. Running his fingers over the cool metal, he can almost hear Will’s voice as he opened the package: “Now Captain Jones can be Captain Hook!” Will thought it was the funniest thing he’d ever said, but the rest of the team didn’t quite agree, though Killian couldn’t help but laugh.

That was the day he decided to retire, especially making his rounds and trying to play other positions, obviously no longer able to be the goalie he has spent his career working to be. After Liam was injured on his deployment, then losing his Milah in the same accident that took his hand, the team was the only thing keeping him in England. The very next day, he and Alice sat down and made a list of the things they want from their next adventure, their next home.

That was the first leg of the journey that started two years ago and led them to Storybrooke, Maine.

Seeing him standing in front of the mirror, completely costumed from head to hook, Alice lets out a squeal of delight. “Papa, look at you! You even found the hook from Uncle Will!”

Repressing the memories that the costume brought up, he turns around her and smiles. “You like it, starfish?”

“Of course I do, papa!” she squeals again, wrapping her arms around his waist, proving to him that every moment he spends in this outfit tonight is completely worth it.

“Are you sure this is the house, love?” Killian asks, his knuckles white on the steering wheel. He has no idea why he is as nervous as he seems to be, but he can feel his heart pounding in his chest, hear it in his ears.

“This is where Henry told me he lived,” she says, her voice small from the passenger seat next to him, and when he turns to face her, he watches as he wrings her hands in her lap. “But it—it doesn’t look like anyone’s home…”

Killian had seen his daughter upset before—because of course he had, she’s ten years old and gets upset. But this is a whole new level of upset to him, skipping straight over crying right to shaking, seeing himself in her more and more. Because he, too, is fuming, angry that anyone would have the audacity to treat his Alice like this. From the rest of the stories she had told him about this Henry, he seemed like a nice, polite boy—but anyone that pulls a stunt like this, letting her get excited just to let her down, is neither nice nor polite.

“Alice, dear,” he starts, definitely not looking forward to breaking her heart, but before he can continue, they hear the door to the house across the street slam shut, followed by the voice of a young boy screaming Alice’s name.

“Henry!” Alice almost does not get the word out before she is out of the car, rushing across the street to where the young boy in a knight’s costume meets her, wrapping his arms around her in a soft hug.

“Thank the Lord,” Killian breathes, shutting off his engine before climbing out of the Chevelle.

“Papa, papa, meet Henry!”

He looks exactly like Killian thought a ten-year-old named Henry should look, with dark eyes and a mop of dark brown hair and cheeks just chubby enough to still be classified as cute.

“Henry, my boy! How nice to finally meet you. You know, lad, I’ve heard so much about you through my Alice.”

“It really is nice to meet you, too, Mr. Jones.”

“Henry!” He hears her voice from the porch, and it is the first time he really takes in just how extremely decked out the house is, like Christmas turned orange. Orange lights line the porch, the roof, the windows, with lit-up Jack-o-lanterns lining the walkway and the wooden porch. But the kicker, the real central piece of the whole ensemble is a large, blow-up vampire Mickey Mouse, centered in the front yard.

But as soon as she pushes through the large wooden door out onto the porch, Killian’s attention is no longer on the decorations. She is, without a doubt, and without any nods to the cliche, the most beautiful woman Killian had ever seen, even dressed as a witch, with a knee-length black dress, black-and-white striped tights, and even the pointed witch hat. The lights from the porch, both the regular and the string of bright orange ones, accentuate the curls falling over her shoulders, brighten every contour of her perfect face.

“Henry, please get out of the middle of the street!” she calls again, crossing her arms over her chest, and then realizes that, though her ten-year-old is in the middle of the street, he is not alone, and Killian corrals them back onto the decor-covered lawn, then makes his own way to the porch.

“Sorry, love,” he says, his voice soft, and he is thankful for the cover of darkness, for he feels the heat rising to the tips of his ears. “You know how ten-year-olds love to play in the street.”

When she smiles at him, illuminated by the harsh lights of the porch and the holiday, he can swear he feels his heart stop beating, even if only for a moment or two.

“Well, of course. They wouldn’t be children if they played anywhere else.”

When he is almost face-to-face with her, standing on the sidewalk while she is on the step, he feels her eyes really take him in, head-to-toe; but Killian Jones is nothing if not a gentleman, and as much as he wants to let the urge to do the same to her, his eyes stay locked on her face, even when momentarily covered by the brim of her witch’s hat.

“You must be Alice’s dad,” she says finally, her eyes meeting his again, eyes that sparkle the brightest emerald green he has ever seen, even in the orange lights of Halloween. “Mister Jones?”

“Please, love, call me Killian. You’re Henry’s mother, then? Ms. Swan?”

“If you’re going to call me anything, then call me Emma, because I am not your love.”

This time, when the heat rises to his cheeks, he hopes the orange lights of the porch cover for him, though somehow he feels it does not.

“Of course, Miss Swan. I meant no harm.”

The smile she flashes him this time is less authentic than the first one, and he wishes more than anything that he had not offended her so quickly, starting off on the wrong foot. “Of course not.”

He is dumbfounded, unsure of what to say next in hopes of never, ever, insulting her again, and the silence in the conversation is heading towards awkward before it is perfectly saved by the curious ten-year-olds, specifically Henry.

“Mr. Jones!” he yells excitedly, running up to him through the yard, though his movement is slightly awkward, weighed down by the plastic armour of his costume. “Your costume is so cool! You look like a real pirate!”

“Well, thank you, lad. It better look bloody real, with all the money I spent on it.”

“Did you buy it just for tonight?”

“No, no, I bought it in England, when the team and I used to visit the children’s hospital for Halloween. I’m assuming Alice has told you what I did in England?”

“Goalie on the Chelsea team! That’s so cool!” Even with his excitement, taking in the detail on Killian’s costume, the stitching in the leather and embroidery on the vest, Killian doesn’t miss when his eyes stop on the hook for more than a few moments, and the soft intrigue in his eyes when they meet his again. “But what about your hook? She told me about—about your hand, but is the hook where you put the fake one? And how did it happen?”

Killian opens his mouth to speak, ready to tell the same story he used to tell the children at the hospital, and at the games, when they asked him the very same question, but Emma beats him to it, yelling out to her son before Killian can even begin.

“Henry David Swan! You do not ask people questions like that! Apologize to him, right now!”

He wants to correct her, assure her that Henry asking him is far from a problem for him, but he has already gone too far once; he does not want to add to it by going back on her yelling at her son. So, instead, he waits for Henry’s apology, given softly from a truly embarrassed ten-year-old, before turning around to Emma and offering her a soft smile.

“I appreciate your apology, lad, but you’re definitely not the first young man to ask me about my injury.” He leans down, finding himself on his level. “However, it is only to the most polite of boys that I tell the real story of what happened, because there’s a not-so-noble knight involved, and I don’t very much like reliving the tale unless they’re asked very, very nicely.”

Henry’s eyes go wide, a smile growing to take over his face, and he almost begins jumping up and down when he pleads, “Please, Mr. Jones! Please, please, please!”

Killian stands up again, searching for Emma out of the corner of his eye, and he is pleased to find that the scowl on her face has grown to the beginnings of a smile as he starts the story that he has not told since he moved to America..

“About two years ago when I was playing in England, I got into this argument with a gentleman after one of the games.  And I thought we had settled the whole thing—looking back, I don’t even remember what the argument was about, that’s how trivial the whole thing was—until one day, he showed up to my practice dressed all in armour, very much like yours, except his was made of metal, of course. He approaches me on the sidelines and draws a very, very large sword. Now, thankfully, I decided to also bring my sword with me to practice that day, or else he may have ended up taking more than just my hand from me. He approaches me on the field, stops the entire practice to do so, and challenges me to a fight, a move which is rather unfair, given I’m in my football uniform and not a full suit of armour like he is, but little does he know that I am actually a talented and practiced swordsman. So we spar, a process that begins to take over the whole field. He advances on me, I parry back and take the lead again, over and over, back and forth, for what feels like hours. And then, of all things, I wind up right on top of the ball and it catches under feet, and I fall over it, right to the ground. I think, oh no, this is going to be the end! I hold up my sword, trying to block the blow I know he is going to deliver, but the bugger misses my sword and hits me straight on the wrist, cuts it clean off! I thought he was going to take the final blow, take his revenge on whatever argument we had a few days before, but apparently taking my appendage from me is enough for him, because he sheaths his sword and walks right off the field, like nothing ever happened!”

Killian’s recalled this story to children of all ages in the two years since he found himself without a hand, but he is almost entirely sure that no child has ever reacted as strongly to it as Henry Swan does, eyes wide, tossing his toy sword aside as if it was poisoning his hand, or like it would make Killian relive the terror of losing his hand to an (albeit imaginary) sword fight.

No one speaks, not even Alice, who has heard his rendering at least a dozen times. She is smiling at Henry, as humored by his response as Killian is. Finally, it is Emma who breaks the awestruck silence of the yard.

“Well, kids, you better start soon if you want to get to all the houses before you have to be at the Mills house!”

Killian turns to Alice, still smiling at Henry. “She has a point, starfish. We should get ready to go.”

“We?” Henry asks, turning to Killian, obviously confused, and Alice sets her hand on Killian’s arm.

It is at this moment that Killian realizes the other emotion hidden in Alice’s eyes as they got ready to go: mischief.

“Actually, papa, I changed my mind. Henry and I can go together, and you can stay here with Miss Emma!”

Shaking his head at his daughter, far too smart to only be ten years old, he sighs deeply, letting out a short laugh. “Whatever you want, starfish.”

“Great! I’ll see you later, papa!” she says quickly, wrapping her arms around him in a brief hug before turning on her heel and practically running in the opposite direction, her arm linked with Henry’s.

Killian watches her walk away for as long as he can before she turns to head down the block and out of his sight. When his only distraction is finally out of his sight, he turns his eyes back to Emma, looking up at her through his eyelashes for just a moment as his hand shoots up to scratch the spot behind his right ear, and lets out a long, deep breath, trying to take as much time as he can before he has to speak to her.

“Well,” he says slowly, awkwardly, hitting his fist against the side of his leg. “If she—if she doesn’t want me to go with her anymore, I can… I guess I’ll just head home.”

His eyes find hers for another moment, quickly trying to find a reason to stay even though he just excused himself. They hold for a moment, neither of them daring to move even a muscle, but she breaks first as a slow, soft smile makes its way across her face.

“Alice is just going to come back here with Henry when she’s done, so if you want to—if you want to stay, help me hand out candy and drink beer by the fire, I, uh,” Her eyes meet his again, and her smile grows when he returns it. “I wouldn’t mind.”

His right hand scratches behind his ear again, pulling at the hair there that has gotten a little long. “Are you sure?”

She takes a step back, onto the porch, and opens the front door, gesturing for him to go inside before her. “Definitely.”

The inside of the house is just as decorated as the outside, and he wants to be surprised, but he finds that he’s not. The house is just as silent as the conversation between him and Emma, so he uses this as the opening thought, hoping it blossoms into more.

“So, Miss Swan, you must really enjoy Halloween then?” he asks with a chuckle, and when she turns around to face him, her face riddled with confusion, he gestures around him, to all of the Halloween decorations.

“Oh,” she says, smiling back at him through a particularly low purple spider web hanging down from a doorway. "This is my brother’s house, actually, and his wife.”

“So then your brother is the Halloween aficionado?”

“His wife. Mary Margaret, the kindergarten teacher. She’s a little….” her voice trails off, trying to find the right word.

“Eccentric?” Killian asks, smiling at her while she pulls two bottles of beer from the fridge, handing one to him.

She returns his smile. “Yeah, eccentric is a good word for it, actually. You think Halloween is a big deal, you should come back for Christmas.”

“Of course, love, I can imagine,” he comments, following her through a door that leads into the garage. Though it smells like it usually houses an old car, its normal occupant is gone, replaced instead with a… Killian’s brain even takes a moment to find the right word for it.

Halloween wonderland. The phrase he decides on is Halloween wonderland.

“I’m not your love,” she says again, this time more under her breath, and it completely ruins whatever rapport they have going on between them. He has to pay more attention to that.

If he thought the front yard was overkill, the garage has died twice over. The matte gray walls all covered— covered— floor to ceiling with orange, white, and purple spider webs, embellished with fake plastic spiders, bats, and pumpkins. The back wall has ghost silhouettes hiding within the webs, the wall farthest from the door lined with witches, plus a table covered with a dozen real, candlelit Jack o-lanterns. But, in the center of the room, lies the real focal point of the decor, almost enough to take anyone’s focus from the rest of the garage: a shining golden cauldron, at least five feet tall, with a solid bottom half and a grate around the top, plus a door to let users into the inside of it.

Or, Killian thinks, the most extreme overkill of a cauldron he has ever had the pleasure to lay his eyes on. As he fills the space between himself and it, Emma opens the garage door, letting in the cold air of the October evening, revealing to Killian just how warm the garage has become. She turns to him in just enough time to watch him stretch his hand out toward the cauldron as he realizes why the garage is so warm: the cauldron is a fire ring—one which already was a small but heat-emitting fire churning in the bottom of it.

“I wouldn’t -” she starts, but he is already pulling his hand away, and when he turns to her with wide blazing blue eyes, she can’t help but let out a soft chuckle.

“ Bloody hell,” he mumbles, taking a step back to really take in what he is seeing before him.

“I told you, Jones, my sister-in-law really likes decorations.”

Nodding, his eyes are still wide and fixed on the cauldron. “I, uh… yes, I see that.” He lets out a breath, then takes a few sips of his beer, cringing as it before finally taking his eyes off the fire ring again.

“Help me with these chairs?” she asks, and when he turns to her, she is gesturing towards a pair of wooden rocking chairs, which were against the garage door and blended in before.

“Of course, love,” he answers, immediately damning himself for the use of the endearment. “I’ll lend you a hand.” He means nothing of the unintended pun, but as he lifts the arm of the chair with his hook, they both realize what he said and simultaneously let out a quick laugh. "Just one, though,” he adds, smiling across the chair at her. “That’s all I have to offer.”

“How often does that pun come up in real life?” she asks as they pick up the other chair, and when they set it back down, he runs his fingers through his hair.

“Surprisingly not as often as you may think. Or if it does, maybe I just miss the pun on a regular basis.”

Usually, he’s embarrassed by any mention of his deformity, because that’s all that it has become to him. But this exchange is the nicest conversation he’s ever had about it, and with the most beautiful woman he’s ever laid his eyes on — not to mention the nicest conversation that’s passed between the two of them since their children practically tackled each other in the middle of the street.

Sitting down next to him beside the fire, she smiles up at him again, her gaze passing through her eyelashes and the thick, warm air coming off from the fire, now that the wind from the street is pushing it their way. Which is what makes him realize…

“How is there no smoke?”

Her eyebrows knit together for a moment as she realizes just what his question is pertaining to, since his piercing blue gaze has not left hers since they took their seats. Together, they turn their attention towards the behemoth before them, and Emma looks at it as if it is the first time she has ever contemplated the question.

“I really…” she says finally, slowly, but then stops for a moment before continuing, pulling her bottom lip up under her teeth. “I really have no idea, to be completely honest.”

“Maybe it’s a trick then? A magic cauldron, if you will. That is what Halloween is all about then, is it not, love? Tricks and treats?”

Even though there is not even a drop of humor in his voice, when she turns back to him, he has the biggest, doofiest grin spread across his face, one that reaches up into the creases around his bright blue eyes.

He realizes that he’s done it again, called her love for the second time without any backlash from her.

That has to mean something.

When she smiles back at him, shaking her head in response to his joke, he really hopes it does, because the more genuine the smile on her face grows, the more strikingly beautiful she becomes. Usually, he can blame this problem on the rum, because the only time he runs into women as beautiful as Emma Swan are the few times his friends cross the ocean to visit him and he can drink somewhere other than the solace of his own basement.

But tonight, there is no rum. Only whatever godawful beer she handed him out of her brother’s fridge.

If there’s one thing that Killian Jones does not enjoy, it’s beer, especially whatever the hell passes as it here in America. But because he is nothing if not a gentleman, he drinks it without a second thought, if only because she handed it to him.

He can’t be attracted to Emma Swan. It is at this moment, with her smiling at him, rocking slowly next to him, somehow even more beautiful than the moment before, that he hears this from somewhere in the back of his mind.

And he realizes, as much as he seems to want to be attracted to her, he’s right. Alice has only just become friends with her son — the only damned friend she’s made so far here— and Killian would be beside himself if he did anything to compromise his daughter’s happiness, even if it means compromising his own.

Tone it back, he warns himself, before you do something you’re really going to regret.

But he doesn’t have to—a handful of young kids do it for him:

“Trick or treat!” Their first collection of visitors approaches them, running up the driveway and into the garage. Emma smiles at them for a moment, not poising herself to move, even as all their little eyes stare up at her, and it is not until Killian elbows her arm that she reacts.

“Shit, right,” she whispers, jumping up and running into the house, and he hopes he is the only one who heard her. Moments later, she returns with the large bowl of candy he remembers seeing inside the front door, plus the small table that it was sitting on. The five little kids—an astronaut, a dinosaur, two princesses, and a hot dog—rush up to her as soon as she sets down the table, causing her to take a quick step back with her hands in the air.

As they attack the bowl of candy—“Just two please,” she adds as one of them tries to shove a second fistful of candy into their little plastic jack-o-lantern—she walks around him, still sitting by the fire cauldron, and grabs a sign from under the pumpkin table, which she reveals to be a perfect handwritten bi-fold that reads “HELP YOURSELF! Only two each, please! Happy Halloween!” in three different fonts.

“Your handiwork, Swan?” he asks, chuckling at her as the children begin to walk away.

“Oh, god, no,” she says with a smile. “I could never make anything like that. That’s all Mary Margaret’s handiwork.”

“The kindergarten teacher, right?”

She nods, half-smiling at him. “Right.”

A silence passes between them again, and looking over at her, he feels like he’s going to tell her everything— everything —from Alice’s mother to Milah to the accident.

And, as soon as she asks the question she does, he bloody well just might: “So, what happened in England that made you move, if you don’t mind me asking?”

For some reason, he finds that he does not mind her asking, even a little bit, though his hand flies up to his ear to scratch the spot behind his ear. “Has your boy told you anything about what I did when I was there?”

She raises an eyebrow at him, shaking her head. “I didn’t even know he knew.”

“Oh, he knows. He’s a football fan, right?”

“Henry’s always been more into soccer, actually,” she replies, but when Killian laughs, she turns to him, her face brightening. “Right,” she says, accentuating the t at the end of the word, and he nods, smiling. After a moment, her eyes go wide, putting the pieces of their conversation together. “Wait, you were a professional soccer player?”

“Aye, love, that I was. And a bloody good one at that. ‘Best goalie in the league,’ some of the papers called me. Until…” he holds up the hook, releases the straps holding it on to reveal the stump hiding under the leather.

“An accident,” she says pointedly, reaching out and setting her hand on his arm again.

His eyes fly up to hers, and he is surprised to find them on his face and not on what is left of his arm, the part of him that people tend to not look away from when he reveals it to them.

“How did you know there was an accident?”

“Well, most people don’t purposefully lose their hands when their entire career depends on them.”

The corner of his mouth flicks up in a momentary smile. “That’s true, I suppose. But yes, there was an accident. It was—my brother was injured on his deployment and they wouldn’t tell me anything, and I got really emotional about it, drank much more than I ever should have and started to drive me and my girlfriend home when we were hit by a truck. It hit her side of the car, flipped twice and landed in a ditch. I was bruised and battered, a concussion, a few broken ribs, and a missing hand. But Milah… she didn’t make it. They said she probably died before the car even stopped moving. It was a miracle that I was alive, but there were parts of me that weren’t. I tried to recover, tried to get back into the game, into normal, everyday life, but I was too broken.”

“Was she Alice’s mother?”

His eyes flicker towards her again, but only for a moment. “No, no. Alice’s mother was… She decided to give her up for adoption after she was born, and we were no longer together by that point anyway, so I applied for sole custody and they granted it to me. Besides Milah, it’s always just been me and Alice. She has no memory of the woman who gave birth to her.”

“Oh, Killian,” she whispers, and he realizes that her hand has not left his arm. “I’m so sorry.”

At this moment, as kids are wont to do, an even larger group of teenagers, come up the driveway, searching for candy. “Trick or treat!” they yell, entirely less enthusiastic than the first crowd.

“Happy Halloween!” Emma says back, and Killian waves at them as they reach into the bowl for their candy. Even though there are at least ten of them, Killian does not fail to notice when only three of them say thank you.

Teenagers, he thinks, knowing the sentiment is less than fair, but then her question brings him back to the conversation they were having before they were interrupted.

“Then how did you end up here, in the middle of nowhere in Maine?”

Finally, he smiles, recalling how it happened. “I had enough saved up to take care of us for the rest of my life, so we really could go wherever we wanted. Alice said she always wanted to see America. So we bought a map and hung it on the wall, and we each closed our eyes and threw a dart at it. Mine landed in Montana, and hers landed here. I secretly didn’t want to go to Montana, so I told her we would play rock-paper-scissors for it, and she always—always—picks rock, so I picked scissors, and we started packing the next day and moved to Maine.”

“Do you regret it?”

He scoffs. “Regret it? Regret moving away from the pain and suffering and failure that I left in London? Regret moving to a town with the same population as the apartment complex Alice and I lived in? I don’t regret a single moment of it.”

She smiles at him. A soft, warm thing, the realest emotion she’s revealed to him since he got there.

“Trick or treat!” Three young girls, all dressed as Disney princesses, come up towards the house—and, unlike all of the teenagers, all three yell “thank you”’s into the garage before heading back down the driveway.

“Well, I for one am glad that you’ve found yourself here in the middle of nowhere,” she says once they are gone, voice soft, and as he practically feels his heart pound out of his chest, so loud that he’s pretty sure she can hear it, he realizes it’s too late.

He’s already started to fall for Emma Swan.

“As am I, love. But, you know, since my Alice and I have moved here at the beginning of the summer, she has only ever come home to me with stories about the other girls her age, about how mean they are to her because she’s different, and as much as we needed this new life here after…” He swallows quickly, washing it down with a mouthful of beer as he holds up his hook, still in his hand. “After everything, we almost went back. Because I would do that for my girl. I would do anything for her.

“When she came home from her first day of school, and I was ready for the worst. Ready for her to beg to move back to England. And then she burst through that door, and she had the biggest smile on her face. I thought I was going to melt, I was so happy for her. And do you know what she told me?”

Though his eyes have been set on a spot in the concrete in front of him, hers have not moved from him since he started talking, watching him intently, holding on to every word, but when he asks this question, pauses for a moment, her only response is a smile.

She knows.

“She told me that she has a new best friend. He—he stood up for her in front of the other mean girls and now they’re going to be friends forever. And that boy, he’s your boy.” As an emphasis of the your, he turns the bottom of the bottle in her direction, smiles at her again, and then takes another quick sip, finishing the bottle and setting it on the floor beside him, then setting the hook down next to it, rubbing the scars it was covering. “I’m thankful for that every day, because I’ve been the bullied kid, and I never want my Alice to have to go through that. So I don’t know what you did to that boy, but you did it well.”

Parents are a different kind of proud when it comes to their kid, a different kind of happy when they hear them complimented, especially so highly as Killian just did—and this is something that automatically reveals itself to be true to him when she smiles at him again, this one different than the others she’s flashed so far that night.

“Thank you, that really means a lot,” she continues. “I’ve always—I’ve always been a little worried about him, to be honest. His father was sort of a deadbeat, and I was always scared that he would end up like him. That’s why we moved back here when I learned I was having him, so that he would have someone like my brother to look up to instead of his father. At least David puts criminals in jail and has never wound up there himself.”

Killian is taken aback by her confession, though he supposes that’s what they’re doing now: confessing.

“Well, then, your brother must be a man of honor to have helped raise such a charming and kind boy. What does your brother do?”

“Oh, he’s the sheriff. Sheriff Nolan? Have you met him since you moved here?’

Killian lets out a breathy chuckle. “No, Swan, I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting the sheriff .” He emphasizes the last word, raising his eyebrows in the process, and it’s not until then that Emma realizes the tone of his words.

She touches him again, this time resting her hand on his lower arm, and the heat that surges through his body when she laughs is enough to power the whole neighborhood.

“Come on, Killian, you know that’s not what I meant!” she says, then laughs again, her face reddening enough to be noticeable in the weird Halloween light.

He may have stopped breathing. She called him Killian. She called him Killian and touched his arm.

Killian was in love before, once. Twice, maybe. But he has never before felt like this, all tied up and giddy and unable to put his words in the right order.

“David’s involved with a lot more around the town than just being the sheriff, so I was thinking—he’s not just in the police station, you know, so you’ve probably—you’ve probably seen him around town since you moved in and haven’t even realized it. I didn’t—of course, I didn’t mean… I would never think…” Her words trail off, and she takes a large mouthful of beer to fill the silence that Killian tries to desperately to keep, but fails. It is only a few moments before he bursts, erupting with laughter, and he is thankful when he hears her voice join his, the perfect harmony of them laughing together filling the garage.

It might just be the most beautiful sound he has ever seen, and he was a professional soccer player. A damn good one.

Their laughter dies down, stopped every moment or so while they meet each other’s eyes, and then it is gone.

Emma finishes her beer, smiling at him over the bottle before pushing herself up off the chair. “Do you want another? Or, I think I’ll switch to something stronger, I can’t stand this stuff, if you’re down for that.”

Killian has never been more thankful for a statement before.

Or, at least, he’s pretty sure he hasn’t.

He smiles at her, standing up and taking the bottle off the ground next to him.

“I would love something stronger. I’ve never been particularly taken by beer, and that was in England.”

Smiling, she takes the bottle from him, the tips of his fingers brushing against his hand for just a moment. “You could have said something, you know?”

“I always opt to remain a gentleman. When a woman hands you a bottle of beer, you drink it, whether you want to or not.”

“You know that makes absolutely no sense, right? What if you don’t know her? Do you just take bottles from random strangers in bars? Because that can’t be safe.”

He shrugs, the corner of his lips pulling up into a momentary smile. “Aye, it was never a rule I very much agreed with, and I’ve since rectified it to not include strange women. But you, love, are far from strange.”

“Am I now? What if the crap David leaves in his fridge is the worst beer you’ve ever tasted?”

“I still finished the bottle, didn’t I?”

Her eyes go wide, a smile spreading across her face, and she holds up the bottles in her hands. “Well, since this was the worst beer you’ve ever tasted, what can I get for you? Given David actually has some.”

“Rum, if you have it, love. If not…” He runs the edge of his fingernail against the side of his tooth, then smiles at her. “If not, I’ll take literally anything other than this terrible beer.”

She barks out a laugh before closing the door behind her.

Bloody hell, Killian, what have you gotten yourself into?

Another group of kids, about Alice and Henry’s age, walks up the driveway “Trick or treat!”-ing at him, and he waves his hand towards them as they follow the directions on the sign, each carefully picking out two pieces of candy each before retreating.

Heartbreak, he thinks to himself, and his gaze falls down to his forearm, currently hidden by the leather of the costume jacket, but he knows it’s there: the tattoo he got in her honor, the woman he was with for almost three years, whose death he was responsible for. It was a heart with a dagger in it, her name on a ribbon in front of it.

It does not take long for her to return, brandishing a glass in each hand, and the one she hands to him has a more than generous serving of rum in it; when he takes a sip of it, it burns his throat perfectly, and he smiles.

“Heartbreak is a funny thing, love. But sometimes, it’s a blessing.”

“You’re happy I got my heart broken?”

“If it can be broken it means it still works.”

Alice stares up at it, and it’s almost as if it stares back, the castle—well, mansion, looming down at her from the end of the street. The Mills house, home to the mayor and her family, and the very place that she is dreading going. Gina Mills, daughter of Regina Mills—because yes, of course, the mayor named her only daughter after herself —has been nothing but rude to Alice since the first day of school, and now her house is the very place Alice needs to go in order to go to this party.

“Are you sure we have to, Henry?” she asks, and when he turns to her, he sees just how wide her eyes are, still focused up at the house. She snaps her head towards Henry, and he can see the sheer terror in her face.

He does the one thing he can think of that makes him feel better when he is scared: he reaches out and takes her hand in his. “I promise you, it will be fine, Alice. We’re going together, and I won’t let them be mean to you.”

At his words, she smiles and squeezes his hand, then releases it as she sees the three girls walking towards them: Gina, dressed in an elaborate princess gown, her long, dark hair piled on top of her head under a tiara; her best friend Ashley, in a glittering black dress and a witch’s hat; and her stepsister, Margot, in a green tunic and brown tights, a bow slung over her shoulder and a quiver of arrows hanging at her hip.

“Well, well, well, look who it is!” Gina taunts, walking towards them. “The new girl and the little Swan boy.”

“Shut up, Gina,” Henry says, his voice hard, but he is smaller than them, looking up at the three girls, and all they do is laugh at them.

Well, Gina and Ashley do, but Alice realizes that Margot, standing behind them, has her arms crossed over her chest and is very much not laughing with them. In fact, she even looks upset by what Gina is saying.

“What are you even supposed to be, Swan? A squire?”

Henry knows that arguing is worthless and can stop his words, but he can’t stop the flood of warmth that takes over his cheeks, thankful for the darkness in the street.

She turns her glare towards Alice. “And you, a little orphan girl?”

But unlike Henry, Alice stands her ground. “Actually, I’m Alice, from Alice in Wonderland. You would know that if you ever read a book.”

For just a moment, Gina’s mouth is gaping, unsure of how to respond when she is the one being barraged with the insults. She knits her eyebrows, putting together a response, but before she can, Margot pushes past her and Ashley, flashing Alice a warm smile.

“ Alice in Wonderland is one of my favorite books! My dad used to read it to me all the time, when he wasn’t reading Robin Hood. ”

Finally, Alice smiles, shifting her eyes towards Gina for just a moment before Margot links her arm through Alice’s, starting to lead her towards their house. Alice reaches her hand out and takes Henry’s, dragging him along behind them towards the house, a smile slowly stretching across her face.

“Your house is beautiful, Margot,” Alice tells her when she opens the front door for them. “It reminds me—reminds me of the place me and my papa used to stay when he was on the off-season.”

“Thanks, Alice,” she says, leading them to a table in the kitchen covered in snacks and candy and drinks. While she and Henry take a few items each, then fill their punch cups with the blood-red juice Regina whipped up for the party, Margot just stands behind them, her arms crossed over her chest, thumb toying with the string on her costume bow, watching Gina and Ashley walk slowly throughout the room, whispering to each other, no doubt making fun of all the kids she invited to her own party.

With snacks and punch in hand, the three of them move through the kitchen to one of the small tables Regina set up in place of their large dining room table.

Alice and Henry eat their snacks in silence for a very awkward minute, sharing questioning eye contact while Margot’s gaze is locked across the room. After this awkward minute, though, Margot is the one who speaks up.

“Hey, look, I’m—I’m really sorry about the way Gina has been treating you. Both of you. She can be a royal brat sometimes, but she—not that there’s a good excuse for it, but she’s not usually like that.”

Alice smiles across the table at her new friend, then back at Henry.

“I hate seeing her treat you that way, and I don’t know why it’s taken so long for me to stop her. Hopefully she’ll back off a little bit now that she knows I’m on your side.”

“Thank you,” Alice says softly, and Henry just nods in agreement. “I really appreciate that, especially after everything she’s done to me since I moved here from England.”

Now it’s Margot’s turn to smile at Alice. “Now, I’ve been meaning to ask you about that. My dad is from England, too. From up north, near Manchester. I went over there once a few years ago, before he married Regina, and I remember it was the most beautiful green I have ever seen.”

“Papa and I lived in London, but he was actually born in Ireland. That’s where we went on the off-season, a little southern coastal town. But it really is beautiful. Almost as beautiful as it is here, in Maine.”

“How did you get from England to Maine?” Henry asks, and Margot nods, wondering the same question.

“Well, my papa, he… he got in a car accident and his girlfriend, Milah, died, and he lost his hand, so he couldn’t be a goalie anymore, and we decided that it was time to try something new.”

“But how did you decide on Maine ?” Now it’s Margot’s turn to ask the question.

Alice smiles, pulling the memory to the forefront, standing in front of the map tacked to the wall and throwing darts, finding somewhere to make their new home, and she relays the memories to her friends—then, how she hoped that she wouldn’t have to move to Montana, where her father’s dart landed, and how her whole life depended on a game of rock-paper-scissors, one which she won. “And so we moved to Maine.”

“Well, Alice, I know I’m glad that you did,” Margot comments with a smile, one that both Alice and Henry duplicate.

But before either of them can reply, their conversation is stopped by a rugged, sandy-haired man who comes up behind Margot and sets her hand on her shoulder.

“Margot, sweets, Regina needs your help with something.” Then he smiles at her before turning towards Alice and Henry, and through his accent, so similar to her own father’s, makes Alice guess that he is Margot’s father. “But first, who are your friends? Well, I know Henry, of course, how are you young man?” He asks, holding out his hand for Henry to shake it, which he does.

“Hello, Mr. Locksley,” Henry replies curtly, smiling softly.

“I’m Alice Jones,” Alice says, holding her own hand towards the man, flashing her own smile. “I’m –”

“Killian Jones’ daughter, of course.” His blue eyes light up with excitement, which only makes Alice’s smile grow. “Sweets, go help Regina, please,” he tells his daughter, his voice just above a mumble, then takes her seat when she stands up. “I’m a big fan of your father, you know?” he asks, leaning towards her with his forearms on the table. “He was the best of the best in his prime. You should be proud of him.”

“I definitely am, sir.”

Robin smiles across the table at her, then leans in closer. “Do you think—do you think you could introduce me to him?”

“Of course I can, whenever you’d like.”

“Thank you, love,” he says softly, almost as if he is overwhelmed by the fact that he has the opportunity to meet Killian Jones, before pushing himself away from the table to stand up. “I’ll let you two continue to party. Happy halloween!”

They both respond with curt, awkward “Happy Halloween”s, then give the awkward tension at the table a moment to dissipate before Henry states what’s on his mind:

“I wonder how our parents are doing.”

Alice leans towards him across the table, her smile as wide as she can make it. “Hopefully falling in love. That’s why I convinced him to come, you know? So he would have to spend time with your mother. He’s been so sad, so alone, since we moved, and he doesn’t think I know, but I know.”

“Alice! You tricked him!” Henry sounds astonished, but he can’t stop the smile that spreads across his face.

“Well, it is Halloween. Isn’t that what this is all about? Tricks and treats?”

“It’s almost 9:00, where do you think they are?” Killian asks, his eyes falling to his cell phone sitting in the cupholder of the chair, and as much as she laughs at his worry— “They’re ten years old at a party down the street, Jones,” —she also understands him. His daughter is new to the town, has never been to a party with these kids before, even one with lots of other parents, and, to top it all off, some of the kids have been less than decent to his little girl.

She watches as he takes another sip of his rum, pausing for just a moment before touching his lips to the glass, and he takes the rest of the liquid in one mouthful.

Somehow, by the volition of one of them or the other, their chairs have moved closer together, now more next to each other instead of facing one another, close enough that Emma’s hand can reach his with her arm still on the headrest.

“I’m sure they’re fine, and will be home soon.” Her voice is soft, matching the soft feel of her thumb on the back of his hand. She can’t quite understand what it is, can’t describe the pull that she feels towards the man sitting with her in her brother’s garage—not just a man, but her son’s friend’s father. It would be completely and totally wrong to be attracted to Alice’s father.

But then why can’t she stop touching him?

This is the question she is mulling over, taking a slow, pointed sip of her drink, when Henry and Alice finally come walking back up the driveway.

Killian, in all his endearing (and, Emma can’t help thinking, absolutely sexy ) dad protection, lets out a sigh of relief, jumping out of his seat and wrapping his arms around his daughter.

"Oh, Starfish, was so worried about you,” he says, pressing his lips to the girl’s forehead.

She takes a step back, and the way her eyebrow raises to her forehead is a trait she inherited straight from her father. “Why?”

Henry smiles gently at his mother, then turns his attention towards the Joneses. “I told you I would take care of her, Mr. Jones,” he says, and when Killian turns to him, the edge of his lips turns up in the beginnings of a smile.

"Aye, lad, that you did. But no matter who promised to take care of my Alice, I will always still worry about her.”

“Well, papa, Henry did stand up for me. and so did our new friend Margot.”

Even standing next to her, Killian does not miss the look that covers Emma’s face, or the tone in her voice when she asks, “Margot? Like, Margot Locksley, Regina’s stepdaughter?”

Both of the children nod but its Henry that speaks. “Yeah, her! Gina was making fun of our costumes, and she jumped right in and told her to leave us alone.”

Before Henry can say anything else, Alice jumps in, a flash of excitement taking over her face. “And she talked to us for the rest of the night! Plus, I got to meet her dad, and he’s from Manchester and is a really big fan of yours and wants to meet you!”

Killian smiles sweetly at his daughter, but still can’t keep the blush from rising up his cheeks, his hand flying to his ear to scratch behind it—the Killian Jones sign of embarrassment, as Emma is slowly beginning to learn.  

“I look forward to meeting him, then,” he mumbles, his voice just as embarrassed as he looks, and Emma can tell that he is not quite sure what to do next, so she jumps in.

"Why don’t the two of you go in and watch a movie or something? No need to call it a night quite yet.” As subtly as she can, she turns her eyes up towards him with the last words, hoping he heard everything she was trying to say with them: that maybe she wasn’t quite ready to call it a night yet, either.

Alice looks up to her father, as if making sure he agreed with Emma’s suggestion, and he smiles down at her, pressing his hand to the top of her head. “Aye, Starfish, we won’t be too long.”

Both Alice and Henry seem to accept this as a reasonable answer, sharing a quick glance between them before turning to the door that leads back into the house.

When it closes behind them, Killian turns back to Emma, the small amount of space between them suddenly becoming incredibly apparent, but neither of them dare move a muscle, lest they burst the bubble and break the spell brewing between them.

The fire has died down to a smolder, both of them too distracted by their conversation and the amounts of alcohol they had allowed themselves that night—more than either of them had intended, but not enough to hinder their memories or feelings.

(Though, if Killian were being honest with himself, perhaps enough to make him uncomfortable with the idea of driving home with Alice in the car. But he could wait to cross that bridge until he got there.)

With the half-dead fire as their main source of light, he has to rely on the lights strung on the walls to read her face—though it is quite a lot easier given the small amount of space between them. Looking down at her, he wags his eyebrows, a smile peeking its way across his face. “Admit it, Swan. You just weren’t ready to be done with my company just yet.”

She doesn’t know what calls her to do it, if it is his joking attitude, his incredibly calm demeanor, the realness of their conversation as the night has gone on, or perhaps just the damn glint in his bright blue eyes reflecting the orange light of the smoldering fire; but no matter what the reason for it is, when she pulls his face to hers, her hand wrapped around the back of his neck and his hand finding its way to her hip, she knows that it does somehow feel incredibly right . Something about the warmth of his lips pressed against her own, the hardness of his chest through all that damn leather, and the sweet taste of rum and Halloween candy on his tongue as it slides against hers is perfect.

So perfect that she doesn’t even notice the group of people walking up the driveway towards them until the knowing sound of Mary Margaret clearing her throat causes Emma to push herself away from him, using her hand still pressed against his chest as leverage—as if putting a few feet of space between them would change the fact that her brother, his wife, and the mayor’s husband just found her making out with an incredibly good-looking, leather-clad British man in her brother’s garage.

“Hello, Emma,” Mary Margaret says. trying to keep a straight face, though the glare plastered on David’s is just about as straight as it gets. Her eyes turn towards Killian, trying to take him all in without making it incredibly noticeable, and she reaches her hand out towards him, reaching over her son’s stroller. “And you must be Mr. Jones, Alice’s father?”

Emma can tell that he is trying to seem calm, but she recognizes the same reddening in the tips of his ears from the few other times he has become embarrassed. “Yes, that’s correct,” he replies, his voice doing its best to stay flat.

“I thought so,” Mary Margaret says, her collected demeanor unfaltering. “I’m Mary Margaret, Emma’s sister in law.” Smiling, she reaches her arm out and takes David’s hand, pulling him to stand next to her. The glare covering his face has not wavered. “And this is David, my husband. Emma’s brother.”

This time, Killian is the one to reach out his hand, but when David takes it, he does not return Killian’s smile. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Sheriff Nolan.”

“Good,” David grumbles, and Emma notices the white of her brothers knuckles as he shakes Killian’s hand, squeezing as hard as he can. “You know who I am.”

Emma recognizes the tone of his voice—it’s the same one he uses when he is trying to intimidate someone into confessing. But if Killian is intimidated, then he does an incredible job hiding it, unlike his embarrassment. “Of course, Emma has told me much about the two of you. This is a lovely house, so eloquently decorated. And who is this charming little mate?” he asks, leaning down towards Neal, asleep in his stroller.  

It’s with these words, pointed so specifically at Mary Margaret, that Emma remembers just what Killian Jones made his career in, and suddenly the way he seems to already have her sister-in-law under his thumb makes complete sense: captain of a professional soccer— football— team, a position that put him in front of a lot of cameras, and next to a lot of women. Of course he can rope Mary Margaret in so quickly—it’s just a part of who he is.

And the smile that spreads across Mary Margaret’s face proves that he has succeeded at his quest. “This is our son Neal. He’s almost a year old.”

“Excuse me, uh, Mr. Jones?” Robin pushes his way past David to stand next to Mary Margaret, holding out his own hand towards Killian. “I’m Robin. Locksley. Robin Locksley. And may I just say, I am a huge fan, even as a man from Manchester.”

“Please, Robin,” Killian says, taking his hand in his own. “Our daughters are friends now, you can at least call me Killian.”

Emma can swear that she can physically see the excitement spread over Robin’s face at this comment. “Well, Mr. Jones—uh, Killian—you’re right about that. I just wanted to come and introduce myself.”

"I’m glad you did, Robin. Maybe one day soon we can grab a pint and talk about home, eh?”

At this, Robin actually blushes from embarrassment. “I would like that a lot. I, uh, have to get home and help Regina and the girls straighten up, but it really was a pleasure to meet you. I’ll see you around.”

“Yes, definitely, we will get together”

If it was possible for Robin to blush any harder, he may have, but he was at least at a loss for words when he turned back down the driveway to return home.

When he is out of earshot, Emma slaps Killian in the chest with the back of her hand, her eyes wide.

“What?” he asks, grabbing her wrist with his hand as a knee-jerk reaction, and Emma is almost entirely sure that she immediately would have started making out with him again if they didn’t have an audience.

But they do. So she doesn’t.

Instead, she answers his question. “You didn’t have to embarrass the poor guy!”

“Me, embarrass him? He was acting like I’m some sort of celebrity!”

“You are, Killian.”

“Wait, you are?” Mary Margaret asks, but they both ignore her question.

“No, Emma, I used to be.”

"You did?” Mary Margaret interjects again, and again they ignore her.

“I don’t want to be that guy here, the guy that ruined his career, had a mental breakdown, and moved as far away as he could.“

"No matter what happened, Killian, the guy obviously still sees you as the star, and not as anything that has happened since then.”

She has filled the space between them again completely, resting the palms of her hands against his chest. Hearing her words, he reaches up to cover her hand with his own, leaning towards her to rest his forehead against hers, a movement that somehow feels completely normal to both of them.

After a moment, he releases his breath. “Aye, love, I guess you’re right. It’s just still a little odd for me.”

Neither of them say anything, and the garage is silent for a moment before David speaks up. “Alright, someone’s gotta tell me what’s going on here, because this is my garage and I have a right to know.”

They break apart again, being made aware of their company, but this time is less violent than the last, their hands still clasped together between them.

“David, this is Killian Jones, retired soccer—”

“Football, love,” Killian corrects, but she silences him with a glare and continues.

“ Football goalie, ” She says, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Newest resident of Storybrooke, Maine, and father to Henry’s friend Alice.”

For once, David actually looks impressed. Mary Margaret, however, does not. When David turns his gaze down to his wife, he sees this, and immediately claps his hand on Killian’s shoulder.

“Let’s go inside and find ourselves something to drink, shall we?” he asks, but doesn’t give Killian a chance to reply before pulling him beside him into the house. As if he can tell that his father just left, baby Neal wakes up in his stroller and starts to cry.

When the door closes behind them, Emma turns to the brown-eyed glare that she knows is waiting for her.

“What?”

Mary Margaret huffs loudly, her lips pressed together to form a thin line, before leaning down to pull her fussing baby out of the stroller. “You know what, Emma. Dating another parent? Someone Henry is actually friends with? We both know this isn’t a good idea. Is that why you kept it from us?”

“Kept it?” she starts to ask, but realizes that at least that’s a little better than just meeting him tonight and kissing him in their garage. So she changes her angle. “We’re still trying to figure it out ourselves,” she says, a statement not too far from the truth.

And then, she realizes that is exactly what she wants—she wants to figure it out with him, wants to find a way to be in a relationship with him in a way that isn’t weird for their kids. Because, yes, she may have just met him tonight, and yes, his daughter is friends with her son—but neither of those things had to keep them apart.

She could date Killian Jones without it being weird.

Couldn’t she?

“A professional athlete, right here in my town, huh ?” David asks, handing him another god awful beer out of the fridge—but he had been lucky enough to only have to have choked his way through one the whole night, and all the rum his had since then at least helps it go down a little smoother.

There is a weird sense of pride in his voice, as if something he did made Killian join their ranks, but he just smiles, taking a sip out of the bottle.

“Yes, my Alice and I decided it was time for a change after my career was over, and this was where fate brought us.”

“What ended your career?”

At first, Killian is thrown off by the question— isn’t it obvious? —but when he turns to David and sees the sincerity behind his eyes, he realizes that he had just not put the pieces together yet.

Killian holds up the stump of his arm, the tip of it just visible under the edge of the jacket sleeve. “Car accident,” he says, steadying his voice, and he watches as David tries to hide the flash of surprise that crosses his face.

“I’m sorry,” he says, voice soft, and presses the beer bottle to his lips for a moment before taking a slow sip.

“I’m not,” Killian says, the confession surprising him—it was a thought he’d allowed himself to have before, but not one that had ever been put into words, especially not to a man he had just met. “I mean, of course I’m sorry it happened because I took the life of someone else, someone I cared about deeply, and I will never not be sorry that my actions led to that. But I’m not sorry about where it has brought me, about the changes I have enacted in my life because of it.”

The two of them are silent for a moment, the only noise in the house carrying over from the first Harry Potter movie playing in the living room. And then David bursts the bubble, changing the subject and breaking the silence all at once:

“How long have you been seeing my sister?”

The question itself is simple.

Answering the question, however, is not.

Killian assumes that Emma doesn’t usually kiss complete strangers in her brother’s garage on Halloween, and he doesn’t want to make whatever is brewing between them seem fickle.

Because, he realizes, he doesn’t want it to be fickle. He wants to be with her, wants to at least have the opportunity to try before they have to label anything

He wants exactly what he came to America searching for: he wants a normal life, surrounded by normal people, and to be in a normal relationship, where nothing is expected of him except to be himself.

And, more than all of that, he wants to know if he can find it through— with— Emma Swan.

“So that’s why we haven’t told you. Haven’t told anyone.” The lie rolls easily off her tongue, but the fact that she so desperately wants it to be true makes fashioning it all the easier.

She just hopes Killian is somehow attempting the same thing inside with her brother.

“We want to keep it quiet, to keep things simple, until we figure out just what it is we have between us. We both have kids, and we understand how difficult it might be for them if it doesn’t work out, so they don’t—they don’t even know about it, actually. Not yet, at least.”

Finally, Mary Margaret smiles at her, shifting baby Neal onto her other hip. “You seem to have given this more thought than I was giving you credit for,” she says, and Emma realizes just how right she is. For most of the night, Emma was subconsciously trying to piece together how she could have a relationship with Killian Jones without ruining the friendship that has flourished since he stepped into her brother’s yard—though, she imagines, neither of them were thinking about friendship.

She definitely was not.

But there was still the problem that she revealed to Mary Margaret: trying to be with him, to start from where they were interrupted before and see what happens, without letting it affect the friendship their children were forming. Or, even without letting them know that there was a relationship forming in the first place. Emma doesn’t keep much from Henry, and from what she gathered, she assumed Killian and Alice have a similar relationship.

Though, of course, you can’t practice hiding a relationship from your son if you never have one in the first place.

“We just need time,” Emma says finally, the words forming a sigh. She expects nothing from them; she is saying them more as a reminder for herself than anything else.

So she definitely doesn’t expect Mary Margaret to reach out and place her hand on her arm, drawing her gaze back to her sister-in-law’s, and say, “Then take it. David and I will keep Henry and Alice tonight, as long as Mr. Jones is okay with it. They may even already be asleep on the couch. Go home, take him home, and talk. Try to figure things out.”

“Are you sure?” she asks, suddenly worried that maybe Killian doesn’t want the same thing she does, but even through her worry, a smile still spreads itself across her face. “Don’t you need to talk to David or something? I don’t just want to throw two sugar-high ten-year-olds at you guys and run.”

But before Mary Margaret can respond, the door from the house opens again, and David leads Killian through it. Emma can’t help but smile at the bottles of beer in Killian’s hand, the very poison they had turned away from almost three hours ago—but, always a gentleman, he must have accepted some again.

And brought her one. Great.

“Good news, Snow!” David announces, using the nickname he has called her since college. “We’re having a sleepover tonight! Us, the baby, and two ten-year-olds!”

Eyes wide, Emma and Mary Margaret turn towards each other, bewildered smiles set on each of their faces. Killian fills the space between them, handing her one of the bottles of beer in his hand before wrapping his arm around her waist, the coolness of his beer bottle against her hip.

When neither of the women respond, David looks worried, and Killian leans away from her enough to take in her expression, trying to find the same signs of worry she looks for in him.

“Is there a problem with that?” David asks, and Mary Margaret takes the few steps to stand beside him, taking the glass of water she assumed was for her out of his hand with a smile.

“No, actually, it’s just—that was the same conclusion we came to out here and it threw me off for a moment, is all.”

With Mary Margaret’s words, Killian smiles down at Emma, his worry melting away.

“We should go tell the kids, then,” Emma says, starting her second bottle of the worst beer he has ever tasted, a knowing smile on her lips. Because not only does she want to give him a chance, but apparently the world agrees.

Her house is decidedly less decorated than her brother’s. A few jack-o-lanterns on the porch, a purple glass pumpkin sitting in a tray of fake leaves on the dining room table. Thankfully, there is not a spider’s web anywhere to be seen. Killian’s not sure that he could have the conversation that needs to be had in a room filled with fake spider webs and skulls.

And he really needs to be able to have this conversation.

She wants to have it, too. He can tell. After they have both changed out of their costumes, she into leggings and a tee shirt and he into jeans and a button-down that he keeps in his car, there is something in the pointed way she gathers all the dishes in the living room and puts them in the sink that speaks nervousness to him, something in the slow energy she dedicates to pouring them both drinks out of her own liquor cabinet—a rather hefty Captain, neat, for him, and an even heftier Knob Creek with a single ice cube for her—that tells him that something in her is trying to repress the conversation as much as she can.

But, once the dishes are cleaned up, the kitchen table wiped off, the blanket that was sitting on the couch folded, and they both have drinks in their hands, she sits down in the center of the couch, since he has opted for the armchair for himself, there is nothing else she can do to avoid it.

“What the hell are we thinking, Killian?” she asks, the glint in her eye somehow telling him that she wants to down the rest of her whiskey in a single gulp, but she does not.

Her question surprises him, even with all of the animosity she has already shown towards the subject. “What?”

“Our kids are friends. This whole thing could tear them apart. If we decide to go for this, and it comes back to bite us in the ass, then we have no one but ourselves to blame. But we won’t be the only people getting hurt.”

“But what if it works?”

“Now, come on, Killian,” she starts, but he doesn’t let her continue.

“You’re looking at this whole thing so negatively, but what if you didn’t? What if we go for this, and it works? And we give our kids a family ?”

“Henry has a family. He has me, he has David and Mary Margaret and Neal.”

“You and I both know that’s not what I meant, Emma.”

She does not respond to this, instead taking another pointed sip of her whiskey. He watches the rise and fall of her chest as she takes slow breaths, her eyes avoiding him by being drawn to the coffee table in front of them.

Now it is his turn to hit her with a question, just like she did to start this conversation: “Do you want this as much as I do?” He pushes himself off the chair and moves to take a seat beside her on the couch. His next words are slower, each of them chosen very carefully, but they reveal nothing but the truth. “Because the only thing I have thought about since I saw you open that door is how much I want to be with you.”

“Come on, Killian,” she says again, but this time, he does not stop her. “That just makes this even more crazy. Don’t give me this ‘love-at-first-sight’ bullshit, because we both know that’s exactly what it is. There are so many reasons we shouldn’t do this.”

“Then tell me them.”

Although this is far from the most insane thing he has asked, she reacts as if it is. Leaning forward to set her glass down on the coffee table, she stands up to leave him on the couch, pacing through the room in front of him. “I’ve already told you my main concern. Everything I have done since Henry came into my life has been for him. Every decision I have made, I made because I thought it would be best for him. There’s a reason his father doesn’t even know he exists, and that same reason is why I’ve refused to date anyone.”

“Ah,” he responds, taking another sip of his rum while waiting for her to turn her eyes to him.

“What?”

“This isn’t really about Henry then, is it?”

“What? What the fuck is that even supposed to mean?”

“You don’t have to hide from it, Emma. It’s a perfectly reasonable fear, given all that you have been put through. This isn’t about Henry, it’s about Henry’s father.”

Emma opens her mouth, poised to say something, but stops before any words come up, snapping her jaw shut. Killian just watches her emotions as they pass across her face, from stunned to angry to worried to upset.

“Don’t I have the right to worry about that, though?”

“Of course you do, love. All I’m saying is that you don’t have to anymore.”

“It’s not like that, Killian. You can’t just waltz into my life and tell me that I can forget everything that Neal did to me. He was a criminal, he tried to send me to jail for his own crimes. I lost everything because of him, crumbled into nothing when he left, and it’s taken me years to build myself back up to the point where I can be okay.”

Killian places his glass on the table next to Emma’s, then stands up and runs his fingers through his hair. “Wait, wait… Henry’s father’s name was Neal?”

She whips around to face him, confused. “ That’s your question?”

“That’s your nephew’s name.”

“Correct,” she says, a shadow of a smile passing over her face now that she understands his question.

“Does that mean that you never told your brother his name?”

“Also correct.”

“So, the fact that their son has the same name as the scum that impregnated you and left you is completely unknown to them?”

“Pure irony.”

He sits down on the couch again, running his fingers over the scars at the end of his blunted arm, a movement he has found himself doing without realizing it since the accident. “That’s just bloody brilliant,” he says under his breath, but Emma chuckles lightly.

She paces back and forth a few more times in front of the coffee table, then sighs as she takes her seat next to him again. Leaning forward, her elbows on her knees, she grabs both of the glasses off of the coffee table, handing him his, but continues to lean forward. He doesn’t push her any further, lets them lie in the soft silence that has settled between them for a few moments.

Until she sits back, setting her hand on his knee, her face close enough to his to take in every contour of his expression as he tries to read hers. “How did it work with you and her?” She moves her hand to his, reaching across his to thread her fingers through his, and then points to the tattoo on his forearm, visible now that he has changed out of the costume and rolled up the sleeves on his long-sleeved shirt. “Milah?”

“What do you mean, love?”

“What was her relationship with Alice when the two of you were together?”

“Honestly, most of the time we were together, Alice was with her nanny in Ireland while I was playing in London, and the first two years, I wasn’t comfortable enough bringing her home to such an impressionable child. Alice was too young to come with me, and we had been together for a while by the time I decided we had a steady enough foundation for her to come to Ireland with me.”

“Yeah, well, we don’t have that pleasure,” she whispers, taking a long sip of her whiskey, and he mirrors her action with his own glass.

“Emma, I—I know that you may have your doubts, but I have never been drawn to someone the way I have continually found myself drawn to you since I first laid eyes on you. So what if we just… jump in? I’m willing to be in this for the long run.”

She turns her face towards his again, closing some of the space between them as she tries not to focus on the way his tongue runs over his bottom lip while he waits for her to answer. “You’re nothing if not a damn charmer, Killian Jones.”

She lets him fill the space between them—it was his turn to kiss her anyway—and he does.

This kiss is less rushed than their first one, soft and slow and perfect as their lips brush together, and this time when his tongue brushes over her bottom lip, it is less demanding and more asking. Her hand finds the soft, dark hair at the nape of his neck, her other pressed against his chest, feeling his heartbeat; his is threaded through her hair, though his stump remains at his side.

Emma has noticed the way he avoids using it, avoids touching her with it, as if she is somehow disgusted by it, so when she slides her hand across his chest to wrap her fingers around his wrist, feeling the scars, he tries to pull it away as a reaction—one that she will not let him follow through with. When they do finally pull apart from each other, she opens her eyes first, foreheads pressed together, and he leans in to press his nose against hers as he opens his bright blue eyes, blazing with emotion.

When his gaze falls down to what is left of his left arm, hers follows, letting him hold it up between them. “Emma, love, you don’t have to –”

“No, I do. Because if you’re going to be with me and all of the ghosts that Neal left in my past, then I’m here with you and yours. This is part of you, what happened to you is part of you, and it’s a part of you that I am going to love along with everything else.”

“Ghosts and all?” His voice is soft, almost trembling, as if he is sure that her answer is going to be no. But she takes his arm in her hand again, kissing the skin just above his scars, then his cheek, then his lips.

“Everything, Killian. What was it you said to me earlier? You’re in it –”

“For the long haul,” they say together before he pulls her in for another kiss.

One year later:

Emma stands in front of the mirror in her bedroom, she can’t help but press her hand against her stomach, feeling the soft black fabric of her favorite dress beneath it. Killian had insisted that they go out to dinner for their anniversary, even though all she wanted to do was sit in David’s garage and hand out Halloween candy; so they settled for a compromise, going out to dinner the night before instead of on actual Halloween. Since it was out of their way, he took Alice and Henry to David and Mary Margaret’s while she finished getting ready, since Emma had just put her house up on the market after spending most of the past year at Killian’s anyway. It was bigger, had two extra bedrooms, and the dock in the backyard was a commodity he wasn’t ready to give up quite yet. Applying a last layer of lipstick, she hears him pull up in front of the house, then when he closes the car door behind him. It is only a few moments before he bounds up the steps into their master suite, sliding up behind her to wrap his arms around her waist, unknowingly resting his hand where hers were just a minute ago and pressing his lips against the sensitive skin on the back of her neck.

“You’re bloody gorgeous, d’you know that?”

She turns in his arms, locking her hands around the back of his neck, feeling his hair under her thumbs as she smiles at him. “Yeah, I think you’ve told me once or twice.”

The smile spread across his face grows, and he presses a soft kiss against her nose, knowing better than to mess with her lipstick before she has a chance to ruin it other places. “Are you ready, love? We need to leave soon to make our reservations.”

“Reservations? Killian Jones, you really went above and beyond, didn’t you?”

“I have to do the best I can for the woman I love.”

Shaking her head at him, she pulls out of his arms, knowing full well (and from experience) that once he started saying things like that, it just gets harder and harder to leave the bedroom.

“Well then, let’s go so you can feed her.”

He had already pulled out all of the stops, more stops than she even knew there were, and that was before they even started getting ready for dinner. It all started with breakfast in bed, pancakes and bacon and hot chocolate, and then he had shown up at the police station for lunch, toting more hot chocolate and and a grilled cheese, not to mention the dozen of perfect red roses—which he brought a vase for, knowing there was nothing at the station for them already. When she got home, there was another dozen roses on the counter, these ones white, and a small, handwritten note making sure she knew to be ready to go at 6 for their dinner—and now they were going somewhere that needed reservations? Emma was fairly sure— positive, actually, that no one had ever treated her as well as Killian had already today, not to mention the innumerable marvelous things he’s done for her on a daily basis.

And that’s why, more than anything else, she is excited to tell him her news, because if she was in another situation like she was when she found out she was having Henry, she’s not sure that she would be able to do it all again.

The restaurant is about a half an hour outside Storybrooke, a small, dimly-lit Italian restaurant with actual, real-life candles lit at each table, and the maitre’d leads them to a table by the window, looking out over the water.

Emma orders a water, which Killian raises an eyebrow at, but when the waiter walks away, she says, “Look at the prices on this menu, Killian. I don’t need a fifteen dollar drink.”

“Don’t worry about the prices, love. Just get whatever you want.”

They order appetizers, some fried seafood and this fresh mozzarella platter that comes highly recommended by their waitress, but Emma can’t wait any longer—she is practically buzzing with the excitement that has welled up inside her since she learned the news earlier that week, and especially since she decided to tell him here, tonight.

“Killian,” she says, reaching her hand across the table to take his, and when he turns her eyes up at her, staring at her through his eyelashes, she realizes that there must have been something in her voice that worries him, especially once he asks,

“What’s the matter, love?”

Smiling, she shakes her head. “No, no, nothing’s the matter. Actually, everything is perfect, but everything with you always is. I just—I have something I want to tell you.”

The worry melts off his face, replaced with a smile that she can swear lets off more light than the candle sitting between them. “What is it?”

Suddenly, she is so excited that she can’t seem to get her words out in the right order: “You know that—that thing that we talked about at the end of the summer, the, uh, the thing that we wanted to do, and that I said I might need to go to the—go back to the doctor for, before we were sure of anything?”

He raises his eyebrow, but the smile on his face continues to spread, though possibly just at her sudden inability to speak. “Yes, I think I know what you’re talking about.”

“Well, it—it happened, Killian, and we don’t have to go to see any doctors or anything because it happened and I’m—I’m pregnant.” She says the words out loud for the first time (though she has only been sure for three days), and then she says them again. “I’m pregnant, Killian. We’re—we’re having a baby. ”

She watches his Adam’s apple bob up and down, his eyes unfaltering from her face, the biggest and most brilliant smile that she has ever seen spread across his face, and the fact that he does not say anything worries her for a moment, until he pulls his hand away from hers to wipe a tear from the corner of his eye.

“You’re pregnant,” he says finally, then takes a deep breath, the candlelight between them flickering in his eyes. “ Bloody hell, we’re going to have a baby.” His voice is breathy, and she can tell that she is trying to hold himself together.

Until he suddenly jumps up, feeling the pockets of his jacket, then his pants, frantically, before turning her eyes back to her, quickly saying, “I’ll be right back,” before walking right past her and through the restaurant.

Intrigued, she watches him as he approaches the host’s station by the door, his hand against the man’s shoulder, and he leans in to say something into his ear. After a moment, they both turn to her, sitting at the table, and she raises her hand in a confused wave. The maitre’d nods, then leads Killian through the restaurant and back through a set of double doors.

Losing her point of concentration, she turns back towards the table, one hand on her stomach, and the other brings her glass of water to her lips. “You better not be causing trouble already,” she says out loud to the human growing in her stomach.

Killian is only gone for a few more seconds, quickly appearing back beside their table before she can take another drink of water, and the way his hair is sitting mussed on his head tells her that wherever he went, he was pulling at it with his hand.

“Emma,” he breathes, standing beside her, and she turns in the chair to face him. “I was going to wait until later to do this, and that’s why I gave it to the waitress to bring out with the dessert, but now seems as perfect a time as any. We’re—we already have our own little family, but now we’re adding another one, and I—I was obviously already going to ask you this before you told me you’re pregnant, but now it just seems all the more important to really become a family.” He pulls his hand out of his pocket, revealing a perfect, sparkling diamond ring, then kneels on the floor beside her chair. “Emma Swan, will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

She reaches out, pressing the fingers of her right hand against his cheek while giving him her left, and he slides the ring on her finger. “You’re serious about this, Killian? You’re sure you want to marry me?”

“You’re carrying my child, love. There is nothing that I want to do more.”

She feels her lip quivering, threatening to burst out from where it is tucked under her teeth. “Ghosts and all?” she asks, her voice no more than a whisper.

“Ghosts and all, Emma Swan. I told you, I’m in this for the long haul.”

[nightships]

CS Secret Santa 2k17: Thawing Out

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone, but ESPECIALLY to my CS Secret Santa, @delightfully-difficult-pirate! I hope you enjoy this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it, and it was so nice getting to know someone new in the fandom! Please excuse my formatting, I had to post mobile!

“You were right,” Elsa says, the hem of her gown swishing softly as she rounds the corner from the kitchen to the living room. “That machine wasn’t very hard to figure out.”

“Thank you.” Emma unearths a hand from her blankets to accept a steaming mug of coffee from her newest friend, setting it atop the quilt covering her knee. She’s long since traded the lounger chair for a seat on the couch, but her muscles are sore now that her nerves are thawing out.

She tries to say more, but just the breath draws up a cough. The cold had scratched rawness into her throat, drying and chilling all it could reach. The back of her hands still feel like ice as her body warms from her core to her extremities — even she can admit she’ll be out of commission for a day or two. Emma takes a swig from the mug to stifle her cough, and the next noise from her is one of surprise. Whatever Elsa’s made her, it does not taste like Swiss Miss.

“Did you put something in this?”

Elsa’s cheeks faintly color. “My sister and I love to drink hot cocoa when it’s cold. It’s not Arendelle chocolate, but I tried my best.”

“It’s incredible.” The smell wafting up from the mug is rich, like the whole thing is filled with melted chocolate. It’s ridiculous that Elsa looks unsure, even if she understands the apology behind the offering. Emma nearly manages to ask about the sister she’s looking for when Henry comes tumbling back down the stairs, pajama-clad and towing the quilt off his own bed.

“I promise you, kid, I have enough,” she chuckles, fighting back another cough.

“I brought it down for me,” he tells her, pretending it was his plan all along. He seems intent on sleeping at her side for the night, and she doesn’t quite have it in her to tell him no — especially since he’s not the only one.

Save for taking off his own boots and following her to the couch, Killian has yet to leave her side. At first he’d knelt next to the chair, watching nervously as her mother and father warmed her with blankets and an electric heater. He’d hung back quietly while the rest of them debated calling Doctor Whale, the quiet brush of his thumb against her hand the only reminder he was even in the room.

Slowly, feeling returned to her fingertips and toes, and somewhere along the way she’d ended up here — Killian’s arm around the three layers of blanket surrounding her shoulders and the rest of her family filling the room.

It was a little overwhelming, the way each of them kept trying to find ways to take care of her. If it wasn’t the mug of cocoa it was an extra layer of socks on her feet. If it wasn’t the socks, it was her father adjusting the angle of the electric heater every five minutes.

She can feel the rumble of another small laugh in his chest when her mother gets up in search of another pillow for her. It’s the least serious noise he’s made since they got back, which is another good sign, but it doesn’t lessen her own annoyance.

“Think Elsa would mind freezing anyone else?” she mutters, watching Henry wrestle his own quilt as he folds himself into the chair.

“It might not hurt to ask.” He turns and considers her, clearly glad that her family is all she has to complain about. There’s still a fair amount of relief in his eyes, but there’s tenderness too, a softness that matches the gentle weight of his hook brace on her knee. It remains long after her family manages to calm down and divert their focus toward settling Elsa up for the night.

Granny’s more than willing to take a new resident without causing a commotion. Her parents take her, along with a few hastily grabbed clothes from Emma’s room, and for a while everything in the loft is entirely quiet. Henry’s long since fallen victim to the combination of his own cocoa and blanket. The hiss from the electric heater and the quiet snores from her son are all she hears, and for the first time she almost feels warm. Emma lets herself daydream, thoughts wandering until a particularly amusing one tugs at the corner of her mouth.

“We’ve got to get you something with a higher collar.”

“Pardon, Swan?” Killian answers, sounding half-asleep himself. Without the flurry of her parents and Elsa around them he’s relaxed against the back of the couch. If it weren’t for all the black leather, he’d look perfectly at home.

“I know the cold doesn’t bother Elsa, but the rest of us have to buy coats.”

“I have a coat,” he insists, a little stubbornness working its way into his voice. He sounds like Henry does when she wakes him up for school, and suddenly it’s hard not to picture him here, especially knowing he traded away his own home to bring her back to hers.

“Does it actually keep you warm?” she counters.

“Neverland had a decidedly warm climate, love. Besides,” he shifts, fiddling with a lock of her hair that’s come free of the blankets, “I’m far from cold at the moment.”

A whisper of a smile makes its way across his mouth, and she can’t help but agree. She can feel the warmth in his thumb as it brushes her jawline, in his eyes as they follow the motion and linger on her lips, in the soft anticipation building in her stomach as she watches to see what he’ll do.

Her father picks that moment to walk through the door, and then its the warmth of embarrassment coloring the tips of Killian’s ears pink that she lingers on. Mary Margaret gently wakes Henry, nudging him up toward his room, but David’s concern is laser-focused on her.

“I think it might be best if we all got to sleep,” he says pointedly, nodding up the stairs. “Emma, I can help you up the stairs if you need it.”

Killian takes the hint, squeezing her shoulder before moving to stand. He reaches toward his boots, seemingly intent on putting them back on, and Mary Margaret nudges her husband in the small of his back, a not-so-subtle hint of her own.

“Killian,” David relents with a long-suffering sigh, as if they’ve been arguing about this on the entire trip back from dropping Elsa off, “We’ve got an extra pillow or two if you want the couch for tonight.”

“I’m sure Granny has a bed to spare, mate, but thank you.”

“It’s the least we can do,” Mary Margaret insists, laying her hand on David’s shoulder before he can accept Killian’s reply. “We insist.”

Killian turns to see how Emma feels, whether it’s too much, but he only catches her smirking in amusement at her father’s dubious expression. It’s the quiet joke between them, the shared connection she’s only beginning to let herself explore, that has her memorizing his answering nod for a moment when she’s alone in her bed.

“All right,” he answers softly, setting his boots back down. “If you insist.”

Snow, real snow, falls softly on the windowsill in the morning when Emma awakes. Soft voices filter up from the kitchen, along with the smell of honey and syrup, and she realizes she’s almost swelteringly warm. Someone — she’s not sure which of her parents are to blame — set another heavy blanket over her as she slept, and it’s more than done its job.

Her legs are sore when she swings them out to set her feet on the floor, but they hold steady, carrying her down the stairs. Henry and Killian are at work in the kitchen, the younger flipping a pair of pancakes on the griddle as the older frowns at the coffee machine.

“The light keeps flashing. It’s not pouring the water out.”

“You’ve got to push it down at the top, like this,” Henry instructs, leaving the spatula behind. He’s genuinely patient with the pirate, which is its own source of amusement as she moves closer.

“The bloody Ice Queen got it to work,” Killian grumbles, stepping away to give Henry room.

“Maybe she used her magic,” Henry suggests, pushing the mug beneath the dispenser just as hot water begins to pour out. He notices her when he turns back to look at his pancakes and lets out a loud groan of disappointment at her presence, even as he steps forward to hug her.

“Good morning to you too, kid,” she laughs, tucking her arm around his shoulder.

“We were gonna surprise you with breakfast,” he explains, sighing heavily. “You weren’t supposed to wake up yet.”

“It smells too good. I couldn’t stay asleep.” She catches Killian’s eye, taking in the softness a night’s sleep has laid on his face, and just like before, it feels right. He fits in perfectly amidst her mom’s kitchenware and her son’s bedhead.

“Morning, love,” he smiles, not even pretending he’s disappointed. “Are you hungry?”

“I guess I’d better be,” she replies, looking at the formidable stack of pancakes they’ve already made. “Weren’t you two tired?”

“I woke up and came down here and Killian was already awake. I knew he didn’t know where we kept the cereal or the bowls, but he asked me if I was hungry, too, and then he said we should make everyone breakfast!”

“It was the least I could do,” he admits, echoing her mom’s words from the night before. Killian reaches behind him and holds the steaming mug out for her, stepping closer so she doesn’t have to cross the kitchen to speak to him. As far as either of them can tell, David and Mary Margaret are still asleep across the loft.

“Thanks for helping him,” she tells him, slipping her hand over his rather than simply taking the mug from him. She leans in and presses a soft kiss to his cheek while Henry’s distracted with plating more pancakes, and then she tugs him over to sit at the countertop.

Henry insists they make breakfast a big affair, going so far as to lament the fact that Elsa couldn’t join them. If her father feels uncertain about having Killian at the counter with them, he doesn’t say a word. It’s about the closest thing to normal that they’ve ever had in Storybrooke. With her family surrounding her and Killian’s foot nudging hers every so often, she eats slowly, letting herself hope it’ll last.

For the first time in a while, she has a good feeling that it will.

[myanalyticalcrutch-blog]

Pagan Poetry

Written for FS 464: Film as a Visual Poem, on September 18, 2017

Bjork is, like many poetic artists, misunderstood by a lot of people. However, there is a reason she has won awards and gotten media attention, other than her swan dress. She pours herself out into every song, and whether you understand what she is saying or not, you can feel the raw emotion behind it. Both the song and video for Pagan Poetry explore the dialog between love, pain, and lust. Bjork is telling us about her love for someone and the pleasure he gives her along with the pain attached to him. This pain is both wanted and unwanted, almost necessary for the relationship. The abstract images slowly become more clear, revealing different parts of Bjork herself. She is showing herself and becoming more comfortable, realizing what she wants before our eyes, being reborn in a sense. Love is considered sacred in most cultures. It is supposed to be the closest thing to a magical experience that you can have. The worst people can change for love, the true happiness makes them want to be better or opens their eyes to a new point of view. Love can also blind you from the bad things about your partner or the world itself. The shelter of love can both be constructive and destructive.

We witness the piercing of her nipples on screen. Body mutilation is shown as a way of expression and self-love as it is for many people. Many cultures even use it as a sign of honor or bravery. Whereas in many western cultures, tattoos, piercings, and scarification are seen as the sign of someone who hates themselves and others. It is seen as unprofessional and unfriendly, though it is slowly becoming more accepted. But it is also to resemble to piercing pain that love can be related to. The draping of pearls and lacing of the piercings on her back match the weaving of the messages and emotions of love and agony throughout the song. Her vocals are precise but have an animalistic quality, adding to the true emotion of the piece. The love and pain for her is instinctual human nature, but it has such a taboo around it, she must question if it is what is best for her. When her face is fully shown, she is smiling while singing, as though she is in ecstasy. However, as the song goes into a chant of “I love him” she stops singing on screen and seems to be in distress. This chant gives the song and video a sense of ritual, love and pain dialog ritually. One must always sacrifice something for love.

Many marriages end in divorce. I have always wanted to believe that love existed in the beginning or at least somewhere down the line. People are breaking the taboo that you must love one person forever. Love cannot exist without pain. She is wearing a dress by Alexander McQueen, a famous fashion designer, another artist. The dress exposes most of her torso with a mermaid bottom creating an incomplete wedding dress aesthetic. There are pearls, often seen as a feminine accessory, draped from her neck and shoulders. She is breaking taboos and bringing up stereotypes addressed to being a proper woman while she herself is embracing pain with love. She is opening exposing herself and the love and pain coupled with ecstasy and lust. The lyrics also suggest that perhaps there was an openness to the relationship at some point, or perhaps in her last relationship. This brings up the possibility that it started as something solely sexual and for her it developed into other feelings. It is often said that one of the most painful things in life is losing a lover or partner. She yells and shouts with a smile on her face that he makes her want to hurt herself. Shortly after we see an image of corset piercings on her back and blood around the holes. The weaving of these emotions is making her bleed and yet she will not let go of them because they also provide her with a sense of liberation from the bonds of social norms in relationships and as a woman.

People are highly affected by the emotions tied to poetry and music. Our lives are surrounded constantly by music and its effects. Some people argue that particular music can affect us negatively, while others claim that all music has a sense of liberation for individuals. According to legends, Orpheus was the first poet. He is usually depicted holding a musical instrument known as a lyre. In many images, the lyre is being held to his chest and close to his heart. It captures the soul of the poet, his love, his emotions, and all that he is. Music and poetry are to this day seen as way to ultimately expose yourself emotionally and express everything that you are and hope to be. Two important words that have risen from the lyre are lyrics and lyrical. These words are used to describe art from all genres, including music, painting, poetry, and film. All essential to an artist’s everyday life. Lyrics are words, often associated with poetry that are connected to a melody and are meant to be sung, not just spoken, however, there is a thin line that is often crossed between speaking and singing. Poetry itself is very musical. It is aware of rhythm, tones, and patterns. Chants and repetition can be seen in both music as well as poetry. The chorus of many modern songs is extremely repetitive and can evoke the feeling of a chant, especially when we look at genres like rap and hip hop. Rap is a genre that frequently crosses the line between singing and rapping and focuses highly on rhythm and rhyme just as poetry does, whereas other genres may focus more on the melody and the music.

As stated before, there is a thin line between music and poetry and they are often weaved together. They both deliver and story in a very strong, emotional, and intimate way. The artist is aware of all of the elements that go into his piece and strives to capture the essence of being human. This also applies to film, a visual poem. However, it is not a visual poem the same way that a painting is, it has literal movement and stillness contrasting each other. Film is a massive mixing pot of many different art forms. Greek tradition calls the poet and lyrical being, lyricism being strongly attached to passion. Plato had said that poets are enthusiasts. They are expressive, passionate and energized by that passion. To Plato, enthusiasm is a trance. Poets become enraptured by their subjects, they dig deeper and deeper into something and they cannot be pulled out of their art and passions. In The Republic, he says that poets should not be included in the city. They are radicals or have a tendency to embrace radical behavior and thoughts, and this is a danger to society. Poets abandon logic and twist language, they play with concepts like young children poking at dead animal carcasses. They explore depths of opinions and subjects that are taboo and to most people should not be thought about. Tarkovski’s poets illustrate two sides of this. His mad poet is loud and filled with rage. He is disruptive and subjects everyone in his presence to his truth, he scars them with the images of his death and the sounds of his final cried. The wise poet, however, uses silence to contemplate his message. It slowly sinks deep and has a chilling tone about it. He is caught in a silent trance while performing his final ritual.

In a sense, poets create their own language. Shakespeare is one example of a poet literally creating language. He betrayed the known laws of language and created terms and phrases that are still common in language long after his death. His impact on society and art is immeasurable. His plays have been rewritten and stories retold over and over. His plays often put people in the shoes of the poet, entrancing them and inviting them to think about the taboo and unusual. Topics of spirituality and sexuality are often covered in Shakespearean plays and poetry. Lyricism and poetry can represent the elevation of the voice and the gaze from the creation of language. As long as that language is lived through momentum and constantly fed with the energy of the poet and the audience.

Poetry embraces the duality of chaos and order. Many poems have a strict formatting while also exploring the chaos of humankind within its text. Poets whether through literature or image are obsessed with paradoxes and irony. There is a constant idea of the overlap between two things usually seen as opposites. Black and white are colors used frequently as a metaphor even when the concepts presented in the piece explore the many different shades of grey. Modern art often depicts Orpheus as a meaningful hero. He is seen as a representation of the human experience and what it means to be an individual. He is to thank for the many different forms of art and poetry that our lives come into contact with. We have access to so many different ways of expressing ourselves and sending a message to other people. We can connect and embrace other people and individual personalities through poetry while exploring areas of our subconscious we are not always familiar with. Raoul Dufy shows Orpheus surrounded by the sea and nature. In the image, there is a balance between the sky and the ocean. The presence of nature is a representation of how natural poetry is and poet’s deep connection with nature and life. Orpheus is at the center of the world and able to communicate across many platforms and elements. He can dialog with life and the spirit of nature. This lines up with the legend that his power of words and lyricism, he was able to communicate with the entire world, from the biggest creatures, to the smallest, down to small specks of life hardly seen or noticed by humankind. It is said that he could even make stones cry. This legend applies the idea of super natural power to poets.

As creators, artists across all genres adapt a special style so they can be seen as an individual and separate themselves from the works of other famous creators. They often have another artist that helped them discover their art, style, and passion. Visual poets are true visionaries, their gaze being projected with and onto others and sending out sparks of inspiration to other aspiring artists that wish to show the world their point of view. Orpheus’ vision and gaze was so powerful, that he could be seen as an extremely unsettling force. He could dialog with the Gods. I can understand why Plato would want to kick out poets if they could speak to the Gods. Poetry and visual poems explore spirituality and occasionally the spirit world itself. It is often referenced or its image depicted within poetry or films. Poets have a particular charm to them, making them dangerous because this charm gives them the power to speak with many different forms of life and even gives them a sort of power over others. Other people can be put into a trance with the chant of a poet. They can become mesmerized and led away from the dangerous safety of societal norms.

Art is a journey. Film, music, and poetry all take us on an adventure when they attempt to capture the Orphic voice. Their rhythm and voice often embracing a sense of ritual. Similar to how many parts of Bjork’s video do. The act of piercing is a ritual of adulthood and life events in many cultures. Even within modern western culture there is an accepted way to perform the act of piercing one’s body. In Pagan Poetry, she undergoes a journey of self-discovery through love and pain, just as is the poets goal to go on an extreme journey. However, extreme can mean even the smallest things. Because poets look at the world through the grey and in between areas, they do not always see the black and white as the most extreme. So many people accept that life if black and white that it is more extreme to walk somewhere in the middle. Though poets and filmmakers often explore the unknown and unreal, they also have to acknowledge reality. You cannot explore the unknown without first knowing what is known and accepted amongst the masses. Music videos bring poetry, music, and filmmaking together as a holy and transgressive experience. Artists like Bjork explore parts of reality and the subconscious seen as taboo through these art forms. She, as well as the filmmaker, want the viewer to also explore everything from the visuals, to the music, to the lyricism and words. Pagan Poetry explores the Orphic voice with its playful journey through sexuality, risk, love, and pain as one.