#everyone needs me to be okay for them but when im not okay they all leave
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
cc4librre · 3 days ago
Text
god i had an experience like this when my aunty passed and i hadnt cried the whole of the funeral. everyone had been crying and i just couldn't. i was afraid i didn't care enough. we got back home after a long 2 hour drive. i went for a walk. we had a creek that ran through the neighbourhood - real shoddy, full of litter most of the time, but a creek nonetheless. i sat at it and breathed and listened to the water and the rattle of litter and then. just cried. cried n cried n cried. couldnt have bared to do it round my family, but round the water - i could breathe n feel n care n then, well, cry. and i continued to till the sun was setting. then a random stranger who had just been walkin past saw me n paused n asked if I was alright. I had said I was okay, when they asked - or maybe I just nodded. Obviously, it wouldn't have seemed like the truth to them, but at that moment, i think i realised i was gonna be okay.
and that has continued to stick with me throughout all of my life. I never got their name - barely remember their face, but I remember how they had stopped and asked. checked in, when they hadnt needed to. they didnt know me. i didnt know them. but they still asked. they still cared. they reached out.
its been around about 3-ish years since then I think. Im okay now. i hope they're okay. i know ill probably never get to pay back the favour, but i hope when they just need someone, someone will show them grace and reach out.
idk thinking about how sometimes you have to show up for people you aren't that close to, because sometimes you're just the person who's there. sometimes you invite a new friend to a party and end up having to sit with them through a panic attack. sometimes you run into an acquaintance on their worst day and they need to talk about what happened. sometimes someone is crying in a stairwell and you're the only one around to ask if they're okay. and none of this is "trauma dumping" or whatever the fuck it's just being there for people because you're the one in the room with them.
24K notes · View notes
n0vazsq · 13 hours ago
Text
Sweetest Pie | LN4 x Reader
Tumblr media
pairing . . . lando norris x singer!reader
summary . . . Mclaren invites you to come watch the Miami Grand Prix with them after the release of your song. However, some fans notice you being there is more than just a guest appearance
request . . . no!!
word count . . . N/A
warnings . . . none!
faceclaim . . . dua lipa my beloved
alexavia yaps . . . on the smau grind gng woohoo!! did you spot the refrences i made?? i love love love love dua so ofc i had to do a smau with her!!! its kinda shitty and rushed but i wont be uploading ANYTHING until wed so thats why i kinda rushed it
Tumblr media
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by theestallion, madisonbeer, lando and 3.6M others
yourusername i'll drive and you just lay back - sweetest pie out in all music streaming apps right now! Tagged: theestallion
click to view all comments
username1 IM SO HYPEDDDDDDDDD
username2 i just know this is going to HIT
username3 from the teaser it sounds good
username4 IM SO GLAD I GOT THE DELUXE VER
username5 gorgeous
username6 mothered so hard a f1 driver appeared in her likes
username7 my GOD shes stunning
username8 LANDO???
username9 i cant wait to listen to this 24/7 holy shit
theestallion loved working with you so much!
yourusername thank you!! i loved working with you too!
username10 how does it feel to be a goddess y/n
username11 the music video.
username12 had me on my KNEES
username13 screaming crying throwing up
username14 im giggling at the lyrics
username15 i need more ASAP
username16 this song live will hit so hard
username17 I KNOWWWWW
username18 man im itching to get this on
username19 im never shutting about this for like another 6 weeks
username20 watch her disappear for like 2 more years just to drop another banger
username21 stop why is lando in the likes
username22 he has a crushhhh
username23 MEOW
username24 y/n im single btw hmu
username25 as if
username26 she doesnt interact with us commoners
username27 i need to know who shes singing about
username28 oh to be in a relationship with her
madisonbeer already have this playing on repeat
yourusername i love you
madisonbeer love you more
username29 WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF
username30 DIED. DECEASED. GONE. ROTTING.
Tumblr media
mclaren
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by yourusername, lando, oscar_piastri and 6.8M others
mclaren surprise guest for the miami gp! welcome the famous singer y/n! Tagged: yourusername
click to view all comments
yourusername would've loved to be in orange but it isn't my colour </3
lando don't worry you look beautiful in everything
This reply has been deleted
mclaren don't worry y/n! you still looked beautiful!
username31 LANDO!?!??!?!
username32 SIR.
username33 okay so im not schizo and lando did comment hitting on y/n
username34 living the dream
username35 they better blast her song or im suing
username36 sigh i wish i was her
username37 another celebrity who doesn't know anything about f1
username38 they should just give these tickets to people who actually want them
username39 wasnt y/n a f1 fan since she was a kid???
username40 she was idk what these idiots are yapping about
username41 MOTHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
username42 woah
username43 can she like marry me idk
username44 can't wait for the race tomorrow ahhhhhhhh
username45 imagine if lando wins
username46 she's his good luck charm then
username47 sigh i want to be as pretty as her
username48 STUNNING.
username49 ate up everyone frrrr
username50 LANDO BAG HER UPPPP
username51 he better before we do
username52 frr omg
username53 the next it wag
username54 when i sleep i see her in my dreams
username55 y/n has 4 albums and 4 singles, lando's number is 4. hes winning the miami gp
username56 y/n dont forget us when you become the no.1 artist
username57 shes my kind of woman
username58 id let her hit me with lando's car
username59 i'd let lando hit me with y/n's car
username60 queen
Tumblr media
Tumblr media Tumblr media
(click on pics to view the full tweet !)
Tumblr media
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Tumblr media
lando
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by oscar_piastri, yourusername, mclaren and 8.2M others
lando my good luck charm
comments on this post have been closed
Tumblr media
yourusername has posted two stories !
Tumblr media Tumblr media
caption 1: HE DID IT!!!!! // caption 2: celebrating the golden boy
Tumblr media
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by lando, oscar_piastri, lilyzneimer and 5.4M others
yourusername he called me his good luck charm and i wrote a song about him Tagged: lando
click to view all comments
username71 WHAT?!?!??!?!?!
username72 IT COUPLE
username73 ew
username74 like why him???
username75 ATEEEEE
username76 WTF IM IN LOVEEEE
username77 PARACOSICL REKARIJSHP
username78 MOMMY AND DADDY
username79 wtf
username80 i-
username81 MY SHAYLA
username82 my jaw dropped to the floor
username83 the twitter detectives KNEW
username84 frrrrrr
username85 if they ever decide to buy a pet im like right here
madisonbeer congrats to you two!
yourusername thank you!!
username86 who tf is this i came from landos insta
username87 idk but shes ugly
username88 i dont like her
username89 i dont know if i want y/n or lando to be with me
username90 screaming crying throwing up
username91 giggling blushing and kicking my feet
username92 i need a fanfic on this ASAP
username93 sTOP THEYRE SO CUTEEe
username94 y/n holding his trophy im on the FLOOR
username95 my parents
username96 no bc i feel like im intruding
username97 SHES GORGEOUS
username98 shes everything and hes just ken
username99 this fits PERFECTLY bc she acted in the barbie movie
username100 lando could do so much better ew
username101 my QUEEN
username102 ok so like when is the wedding
username103 i just know that carlos is squealing and giggling bc hes y/ns biggest fan fr
username104 madre e padre
username105 PRETTYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
username106 so like wheres lando's comment???
username107 hes saving a finale grand stopping act
username108 ROMEO AND JULIET
username109 i would be sobbing in TEARS if i heard y/n's voice in the radio
username110 NOW I NEED THAT TO HAPPEN STFU
lando i love you so much my beautiful girl
yourusername i love you more my stunning boy
lando thats impossible because i love you more than life
carlossainz55 he nearly cried when he saw you enter the mclaren hospitality
lando SHUT UP YOU MUPPET
yourusername you did??
lando you looked so gorgeous i couldn't help it
lando fuck you carlos
yourusername LANDO STOP ILYSMMM
lando I LOVE YOU MORE MY BELOVED GORGEOUS QUEEN
rebeccad_ why cant carlos be like this?
carlossainz55 ??
yourusername dont worry rebecca, ill save you
rebeccad_ my princess in shining armour
lando shes MY princess
yourusername love you lan
lando love you more
username111 straight out of a fucking romance novel
username112 if my bf isnt like him i do NOT want his ass
username113 if i was y/n you'd need an army to get me off lando
username114 if i was lando you'd need an army to get me off Y/N
username115 legit the most gorgeous couple
username116 BEST WAGGGGG
username117 oh i am itching for y/n grand prix apperances
username118 im calling it everytime she attens lando wins
username119 LANDO ONEWIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
username120 the queen and her knight
Tumblr media
lando
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by oscar_piastri, yourusername, mclaren and 9M others
lando i might take you home with this, i might give you all of it, come get your dose of the sweetest pie. oh, this the ride of your life, hold on 'cause, baby, i might, i might just give you a bite of the sweetest pie Tagged: yourusername
click to view all comments
username130 sTOP
username131 im deceased
username132 HE USED HER LYRICS ABOUT HIM TO TALK ABoUT heR oH LANDO NORRIS THE MAN YOU ARE!??!??!?!!?
username133 how did he bag her wtf
username134 Y/N MY QUEEN
username135 the most gorgeous gyal
username136 if i was lando id die idk how id handle being blinded by her beauty everyday
username137 PLSSSS he really said 'fuck you' to the haters and posted them making out
username138 like did i get a subscription or....?
username139 ICONIC.
username140 its been 7 weeks & 3 days since i manifested them getting together
username141 if they break up i dont believe in love
username142 FACE CARD IS LETHAL
username143 ik their kids' genetics will be INSANE
username144 SOBBING i love them sm
username145 if glazing them every single second was a crime id be 89 feet under
username146 GOD HAS FAVOURITES !!!
username147 if she doesnt make a grand prix apperance im throwing hands
username148 counting down the days tilll we get them together in the paddock
username149 MY PRINCESS
username150 if i had to be an f1 driver to get with y/n i would started karting when i was 2
username151 the aura from them is insane
username152 welcome to my world
username153 get you a man who deletes hate comments for you
username154 where can i buy a lando
username155 or a y/n
username156 MODERN. DAY. ROMEO. AND. JULIET.
username157 they need to get married ASAP
yourusername i love you so so so so much
lando forever and always
yourusername until the end
lando my favourite singer
yourusername my favourite driver
lando who wrote my favourite ever song
yourusername who won my favourite ever race
lando who wrote it for me
yourusername who dedicated it to me
lando i love you more than anything in this entire universe my princess
yourusername i love you more than you'd ever know, pretty boy
lando forever
yourusername and always
username158 FUCKING FUCK OFF
username159 ok thats it im jumpiing off a cliff
username160 ive never seen something more romantic and its in a fucking instagram comment section
username161 im actually crying
username162 i love them so much i hope nothing ever happens to them
username163 my heart is paining i cant take this anymore
username164 you know the love is real when you dedicate your biggest achievements to each other
yourusername do you love sweetest pie?
lando i think i love it more than my win
yourusername maybe thats a bit excessive?
lando nothing is ever excessive with you
yourusername i love you
lando i love you too
username165 no i refuse bye i cant
username166 HES A SIMP BUT I FUCKING LOVE IT
username167 the a in lando starts for a lovesick fool for y/n
username168 THE WAY HE STARES AT HER>>>>>
username169 get you a man like lando
username170 hes setting the bar so high its on another altitude
Tumblr media
taglist . . . @barcapix ,, @f1lover55 ,, @ilovebarcaaa ,, @httpsdana ,, @paucubarsisimp ,, @justaf1girl ,, @awritingtree ,, @freyathehuntress ,, @chilling-seavey (lmk if you want to join the taglist!)
Tumblr media
256 notes · View notes
genderqueerdykes · 2 days ago
Note
im feeling so stressed about transitioning under the new regime. i need to get my gender markers/passport/name changed legally but i am not on hrt and do NOT pass at all, so i feel unsafe with the correct docs. i have an appointment for hrt, but thats not for another month. by that time it will be too late to update my docs. ill be visibly trans with my birth gender/name which also makes me feel unsafe. i feel like im being forced to rush my transition or stay in the closet for the rest of my life. i do not have the confidence to be visibly trans as i live in an extremely red part of an extremely red state. i feel miserable and dont know what to do
remind urself its ok to be scared rn. it's very frightening. it's okay to feel unsafe rn. hopefully things don't pan out like that and you have to stay in the closet
we don't know what will happen for sure, n that's the scary part. we don't have control over the future, but we got control of the present and we can do what we can to influence the immediate future.
those laws n bills are still subject to the judicial processes of the house and senate and they can get strangled or killed there. trump isn't special, he thinks he is, but realistically, he still has to contend with them whether or not he wants to . he had to last time, this time will be no different. n u know what? if it is different? n he does put that shit into place asap? well guess what? everyone's calling for "revolution": nows ur chance babes, get started! gather! organize! resist! revolt!
for now what you gotta do is remind urself that it will never be illegal 2 be a trans person on the inside. u being trans, referring to urself as trans, acknowledging that ur trans will never be illegal and yes that IS something you can hold on to for dear life. it's a place to start. they can't take away who you are on the inside. start talking to other trans people and start building plans. look into queer resource centers in your area. look at colleges for these, though you may have some elsewhere. ask ur trans friends where they get their hrt.
going stealth or trying to pass for a cis man and/or woman doesn't mean u are not trans. a lot of trans people have to do this, and if u have to do it for safety, that is completely fine. that says nothing about ur actual gender. it sucks to do, but it doesn't change who u are on the inside, a lot of trans people have 2 do this
i hope things improve for u. i hope you're able to connect with some other queers in ur area and come up with some plans. do whatever u can to make sure that u can get hormones started if that's what u want. like chase it n don't let go. just do it. they can't take the hormone out of ur body. but they also can't magically know ur on hrt. this is just my stance. u can decide not to. but i say NOW is the time to pull the trigger.
get on hrt. do it. now before u literally fuckin can't.
hopefully not much changes if anything at all. i'm not impressed with Dumbass' speeches. he's a lot of hot air. he's about making an impression. but i'm not impressed by the bluff. best of luck. PLEASE remember to stick together right now. when things are stressful in the real world like this, we HAVE to band together. we have to figure out how to sort out THIS situation.
stop fighting with each other n realize that there is literally a way bigger threat n tryin 2 figure out if a stranger has a pussy or a dick. like cmon this shit is on a subatomic level of importance rn, u gotta have some priorities. snap out of it & focus.
49 notes · View notes
lonigiri · 1 day ago
Note
oneshot about my king atsumu miya 🙏🙏🙏
(hope you’re having a wonderful day)
meeting the parents
pairing: atsumu x f!reader
warnings: atsumu meets readers parents, if ur parents arent like this... well sucks ig?, parent issues, established relationship, fluff and if you squint angst,
notes: this went in a completely different direction then what i thought it was gonna go, i also started this request like three months ago and i never finished it so here mb anon love ya
Tumblr media
you were always a little bit scared when you thought about atsumu meeting your parents, aswell as your family. its not that you were scared that they wouldnt like him. its just that atsumu is a little, well, a lot when you first meet him. and your lovely parents told you to bring him to the familys big thanksgiving because "they wanted to meet their favorite daughters boyfriend." (you're their only daughter) and there you were in the car with atsumu trying to coach him on what to say and what not to say. "babe i got this dont even worry! im so good with parents!" "tsumu, im the first girlfriend you've had that your meeting their parents." "i was always good with kita, suna, and aran's parents!" you just sighed and rolled your eyes. you opened the car door and got out, walking to the front door of the house first. atsumu came shortly after, you put your hand on the door handle and pushed the door open.
you went into the house first, kicking the snow off your boots and then taking them off at the door. you removed your jacket placing it on one of the hangers as atsumu did the same movements as you. "oh my god is that my favorite daughter!" "mom im your only daughter." your mother just laughed and shrugged, calling the house saying that you were here. "and who is this handsome young man?" your mom smiled and took atsumu's hand, shaking it. "i'm miya atsumu! yn, you didnt tell me you had a sister!" atsumu exclaimed, with a small smile on his face, you gave him a look, but that didnt stop him from kissing up to your mom. "oh now now, no need to kiss up to little old me! oh you're so strong i think we can put those muscles to good use!" your mom started feeling atsumu's biceps, "mom, you're being weird." "oh come on yn its just a joke! lighten up a little bit!" you just rolled your eyes walking away as your mom basically flirted with your boyfriend.
you made your way to the back room where everyone was sitting, waiting for dinner to be finished, "your wife is flirting with my boyfriend by the way." you said jokingly to your father. him giving you a quick laugh then a hug. "you know your mother, thats how she is." you just shrugged and went on and greeted everyone else. atsumu and your mother slowly made their way back to the room everyone was in, arms interlocked with eachother. "you have got to be kidding me." your eyes rolling at the sight. "and i'm assuming this is the boyfriend?" your father said, getting up from his seat and going to shake atsumu's hand. "nice to meet you! i'm atsumu, you're daughter is absolutely lovely." "no need to kiss up to me son, i know what shes like." obviously hinting that you're not so lovely. "okay just because i brought my boyfriend doesnt mean you all have to pretend im not here." "of course we know you're here sweetheart, we just want to get to know the boy you brought along." "the boy you begged me to bring along." you grumbled.
okay maybe the reason you didnt want to bring atsumu along wasnt because you were afraid he wouldnt get along with them. you were just afraid that your family would like him more then you, and can you really blame them atsumu is charismatic and attractive and a d1 volleyball player. of course your family would like him more then you. you watched as your family practically fawned over him, asking him about what it was like to play in the big leagues, and if his hair is naturally blonde and are they crazy of course his hair isnt naturally blonde?? "dinners ready!" a voice called out from the kitchen, your grandmother, the only one in this god forsaken family that likes you the most out of anyone here, even your d1 athlete boyfriend.
everyone gathered around, picking their seats at the dinner table, somehow you were able to score a seat next to your boyfriend. as your whole family chatted your boyfriend up you just kinda sat there and ate your food silently. "yeah i have no clue how i ended up with her, she really saw the good in me when others didnt." you heard being spoke from your right side. you looked up and saw atsumu looking at you with the most love anyone could possibly ever give. "awe isnt that so cute, yn you really dont deserve him." there goes your mom, always ruining the cute moments. "what i was saying was that i dont deserve her." atsumu chimed in and squeezed your hand under the table, standing up for you. he obviously realized how uncomfortable you'd been with this whole situation and he was trying to comfort you in anyway possible.
after dinner atsumu had came up with some sort of excuse to leave and he practically dragged you out of the house. you slid your shoes on bidding an irish goodbye to everyone and left. "wow your family-" "hates me? i know." you said cutting him off leaning your body to the opposite direction of him, looking out the window as he drove. "i mean, i was gonna say a lot but, yeah?" "wow thanks that makes me feel so much better." rolling your eyes and taking out your phone you started scrolling on instagram. "you see why i didnt want you to meet them? they use anything they can to bring me down. they think im a disappointment." you let out a sigh, you could feel atsumu's eyes on you, the look of pity. you loved him so much, it just hurt when your family thinks everyone in the world is better then you. he placed his right hand on your thigh, using his thumb to rub circles into the flesh, helping you calm down a bit. "its okay we dont ever have to see them again if you dont want." "really?" "really."
43 notes · View notes
bulbabutt · 5 hours ago
Text
apologies for another crazy vent. i feel weird being such a between gen of internet users. like im not old enough for the real peak forum days, but im too old to deal with half the shit people expect outta you now.
you wont catch me w a dni list cuz im a fuckin adult so if people piss me off when they rb my shit i just block them OR if a post gets outta hand i will simply turn off rbs.
take your twitter bullshit outta here. that concept did not EXIST 12 years ago. and when it started everyone knew it was really weird. cuz like..... nah man its everyones internet? the internet is public. if you post on a public forum people will just interact with you as that is what you do in public. why do people need to like.... look through your whole shit? and vice versa? thats some surveillance state shit... like tbh i remember 'before you follows' being weird enough, so this is so much weirder.
like the concept of like. 'hey im gonna make art but if you like it you better not have any of the following apply' or 'im going to need your entire history of making art before i decide if its okay to like this'
like bruh. your followers aren't your friends. your audience is not your friends. people who see your posts in a tag dont need to know you. youre not going in to business with strangers. its just..... people who see you on the street in passing and throw a coin in your guitar case, yknow what i mean? you dont need to know anything else about them, theyre just saying 'hey nice!'
like imagine if every time you went to a coffee place you told a barista 'you better not have a foot fetish' like. okay i mean. youre nuts. you are fully nuts. why would it matter, you are going there for COFFEE....... what does the interpersonal desires of a stranger fucking matter?
idk its weird to try and normalize that behaviour. it really disgusts me that this is how people speak about each other. hyping up their 'moral compasses' while painting strangers with monstrous labels and getting them hurt. it sounds so fucking puritanical. like literal puritans. 'PURGE THE DEGENERATES!'
like i do understand wanting people not to make you uncomfortable by misreading something you do, i fully get the desire. but the way people go about handling it is so fucking WEIRD.... all on the defensive 'are you a this or a that, i need all the details about you or else i will harass you and tell everyone your inner most demons' i am. a person. on the internet just posting shit. can i help you? i dont fucking know you??
like why not, idk, save the 'dont interact with me' until someone actually does something to cause you harm? where in that case the 'dont interact' is called blocking people. what the hell are we doing? youre in public? and youre screaming as if the person playing guitar is trying to kill as you walk past because you snooped into their purse and found drugs or some shit. wheres the etiquette?
but then thats the point. its not there as a warning, its a label you have to put on yourself to save yourself from being perceived as something evil.
some people act like every person who doesnt wear a specific badge is literally a serial killer and i really cant stand this culture at all. fucking LOOK AROUND right now. where this kind of culture leads. this is getting so dangerous.
but i guess saying all this is just gonna get me labelled something anyway. cuz everyone gets painted the same. no little nuances of humanity. just righteous good people who are wholesome and the rest are evil doers. sigh.
fascism is on the rise world wide. dunno what else to say.
20 notes · View notes
defencelessarcher · 4 hours ago
Text
The off the record story
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Summary: A cheating ex, a golden Amex, and tequila-fueled revenge—what could go wrong? Meeting him wasn’t part of the plan, but sometimes the best nights start with chaos and end with unexpected sparks.
Pairing: mgg x actress!reader
Tw: alcohol consumption, cheating, kinda emotional manipulation?, revenge, mention of being drunk idk what else lol
wc: 1.8k!
A/N: this is my first post and im so anxious omg hopefully you will like it!
         .˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱ˙ ˙ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅.      
Matthew and you actually knew each other way before you started being coworkers in Criminal Minds. If somebody asked you in an interview you would say it was on the set of “The beauty inside”, where you had so much fun together running across the museum for the shots.
The reality, though, was better. 
You had actually met on a night that started as personal revenge. The plan was to wear your best outfit, steal your boyfriend's credit card and max it out in every expensive bar you could find in New york. Why? you had found out he was cheating you with a model. Were you going to cry yourself to sleep? probably later, because it did hurt. But for now? Fuck him and his stupid songs, they were too generic anyway and you were a rising star among movie directors. 
It was in the third bar that you and Matthew crossed paths, introduced through a friend who knew him from college. You already had two shots in your system by then, the awkwardness and ability to feel cringe burned away by tequila and adrenaline.
“Hey guys! This is my friend Matthew! we were together in college!” Your friend’s voice was too cheerful, slurring slightly as she swayed on her heels. Matthew gave a small wave, his hand awkwardly brushing through his messy hair, looking every bit the guy who didn’t belong in a place like this.
You barely registered his name at first, your head still buzzing with tequila and the bitter satisfaction of using your Austin’s credit card. But when you glanced up from the dance floor and noticed there were more people in the group and that your feet were starting to hurt, time to get more booze. 
Walking to the table, you called out to everyone while looking for the Golden Amex. “Okay, everyone, I am not feeling drunk enough, so to the bar we go!” You held up the card between your middle and index finger, grinning as the table erupted in cheers and a few drumrolls pounded on the wood. You led the charge, your friends stumbling after you in a glorious, tipsy parade.
“Hi Joe! We need to max this baby out, so let’s start with…” You glanced back at your friends for inspiration, counting them off and ticked off a list of drinks for the group, each one more elaborate than the last, adding, “And a Espresso Martini for me. For the drama.”
Joe gave you an amused look, already knowing exactly what you meant, he was the one who’d caught your boyfriend in the act, after all. He wasn’t just your bartender tonight; he was part of the crew that had helped you plot your revenge,"Anything else?" he asked, still shaking a cocktail.
You glanced at the guy your friend had just introduced as Matthew. He stood slightly apart from the group, looking a little too put-together for the chaos around him. “And what about you?”
Matthew shook his head awkwardly, his hands stuffed in his pockets. “Uh, I’m fine, thanks.”
You couldn’t help but notice his messy chocolate curls along with his hazel eyes and the way his shirt fit, casual but not careless. “Oh, come on,” you teased, leaning a little closer. “I love spending money when I’m drunk, so the more expensive your order is, the more I’ll like you.” You flashed him a tipsy smirk, your eyes half-lidded and daring.
Matthew gave a soft laugh but shook his head again. “I’m good, really.”
You turned to the group, just in case. “Anyone else want something exotic or complicated, like a Negroni or a frozen margarita? I’m on a roll here.” You gave Matthew a playful look, fully expecting him to refuse again.
Matthew gave a soft laugh but shook his head again. “I’m good, really.”
Rolling your eyes dramatically, you turned back to the bartender. “And a tequila shot, please. If he won’t drink it, I will.” You kissed the card and handed it over.
When you turned back, Matthew had moved closer, leaning slightly against the bar. “You don’t look like your name is Austin,” he said, his tone light but curious.
You chuckled at the way he said it, drawing out the name as if testing it. “Well, it’s not.” You extended your hand, introducing yourself with a grin. He took it, his grip warm but hesitant, and maybe your hand lingered a second longer than it should have. Or maybe it was just the alcohol.
“It’s my boyfriend’s... soon-to-be ex’s name,” you explained, motioning toward the card now sitting on the bar.
Matthew raised an eyebrow. “So, let me get this straight: you’re celebrating by using his card to buy drinks for a crowd of people?”
“Exactly,” you said with a grin, lifting your espresso martini as the bartender placed it in front of you. “It’s what he deserves. A little payback for cheating with some model.”
As an actress and newly public figure, you didn't want too much pictures of yourself getting wasted at a bar at the moment, the public would understand it once the news of your unloyal boyfriends gets out, but for now nobody except your friends knew, not even Austin knew that you knew, but alcohol made everything seem so stupid and funny and who cares right? The fact that he had cheated did hurt you, not like a full break heart what-did-i-do-wrong? type of thing, you considered that you both were a good couple and you both got introduced to each other by your agents saying it would be good to be seen together as a rising singer and rising actress. And it was him the one who insisted on being fully exclusive and very public, after the rumors about you and your costar and love interest in the show you were in, so why take the effort to just screw up anyway?.
Matthew raised his eyebrows, clearly amused, though he was trying to hide it. "So, let me get this straight—you're celebrating by maxing out your boyfriend's card before dumping him?"
You grinned, leaning slightly closer. "Exactly. Call it... a down payment on my emotional damages. And trust me, Matthew," you drawled, savoring his name like the martini you were waiting for, "I deserve every penny."
As you sipped your drink, you studied him more closely. His curls were slightly messy, his hazel eyes warm but cautious. There was something familiar about him. “Wait a second,” you said, narrowing your eyes. “I know I’ve seen you before.”
He gave a small shrug. “Maybe. I had a small role in The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou recently.”
Your eyes lit up. “The one with the little curls! I knew it! I’m a huge Wes Anderson fan.”
He chuckled. “Good taste.”
“And you? Netflix, right?” he asked.
“HBO,” you corrected, taking another sip. “City Lights.” you said casually, trying not to make it a big deal. “It’s still pretty new, but people seem to like it so far.”
You were actually really proud of yourself for being in that show, the numbers were going up and your dream was going from a thin line to a more consistent future where your parents expectations did not matter. 
He nodded, a small smile playing at his lips. “I think I’ve heard of it. Sounds like it’s picking up steam.”
You grinned, tapping your glass against the bar. “Well, let’s hope so. Otherwise, I’ll just have to keep crashing bars with stolen credit cards for fun.”
Matthew laughed, shaking his head. “I have a feeling you won’t need to do that for long.”
“And what about you? will i see you in the big screen any time soon?” you asked
He chuckles and shakes his head “Hardly.. i've been auditioning for this show.. they called me for a third time this morning and said again that im perfect just totally wrong for the part” he says 
You huff with humor as Joe slid the drinks across the bar, and you pushed the tequila shot towards him. "Here. Your reward for getting casted."
"I told you, I don't really drink plus i haven't got the part," he protested, 
"Matthew," you said dramatically, as if it was the most serious thing in the world, "a face like that is the type that gets casted and if you don’t take this shot, I’m going to have to drink it, and I’ll probably embarrass myself. Do you want that on your conscience?"
He laughed, genuinely this time, and finally picked up the shot glass. "Fine. But only because I don't want to be responsible for whatever happens next."
You clinked your glass against his. "Good choice."
As you both downed your drinks, you couldn’t help but notice the way his eyes lingered on you, curious and maybe even intrigued.
Before you could reply, your blurry vision caught sight of Austin walking into the bar.
Your smile froze for half a second. Then, with the skill of an actress, you stood up, finishing your martini in one last sip before looking at Matthew. You grabbed his arm with a grin. “It was nice meeting you, Matthew,” you said. “But if the tabloids ask, I paid for this martini myself.”
His laugh followed you as you walked away, maybe letting your arm linger a little, slipping into the role of the charming, oblivious girlfriend for Austin’s benefit.
The second part of your plan was in motion now. Getting Austin wasted wouldn’t be difficult, he was a lightweight, after all, and when he eventually found out about the card, you'd just say it was probably someone else who stole it and used it. By the time the dust settled, you’d be long gone. You were sure of it.
You flashed your best smile, scrunching your nose at him playfully, something you knew would make him think you were still into him. The truth? You couldn’t stand him anymore. But the smile felt easy enough. It wasn’t like you had to try to be nice to him anymore. You were almost done with him, just had to play it out a little longer.
But as you laughed and played your part, you felt the weight of Matthew’s gaze on you. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe some chocolate curls or maybe it was something else, but for a moment, Austin didn’t seem all that important anymore.
The night ended with Joe calling you to say the card had reached its limit, you secretly high five all your friends, including Matthew, as you signed the receipt, doing a quick math for Joe’s collaboration, leaving a very good tip.
So yeah, if anyone asks, you and Matthew met on set. Not in a bar, not with tequila and revenge. Definitely not while maxing out Austin’s credit card. Just a normal, boring introduction, nothing worth writing about.
18 notes · View notes
ensi-undertale · 2 days ago
Note
Hey there! I really loved that imagine you did earlier and the fic looks great!
Tell me, for the skeletons of your choice, what would they do if a seagull snatched a hotdog out of their hand?
Thank you for the prompt!! I had so much fun with this, that I ended up making it into a set of drabbles. Hope you don't mind^^ I had a mighty need for the fluff.
Blue
‘AND THEN, WE SHOULD VISIT THE PIER. IT HAS AN ARCADE! YOU’D LIKE THAT WOULDN’T YOU BROTHER? …BROTHER?’
But Stretch wasn’t looking his way. His gaze was fixed on something just over Blue’s shoulder.
‘hey, watch-’
But it was too late. As Blue turned to see what he was staring at, the seagull honed in on the hot dog in his hand, swooped, and carried it away.
Stretch covered his mouth with his hand, stifling laughter. ‘o-oho. uhh… do you want mine?’
‘N-NO NO, THAT’S OKAY, PAPY. A HOT DOG IS ESSENTIAL ON A BEACH TRIP, AND I DON’T WANT YOU TO GO WITHOUT.’
‘thanks bro, but I thought it was fish and chips?’
‘…IS IT?’
Black
Black and Wolf were enjoying a late afternoon stroll on the beach, tucking into some hot dogs as the sun began to set.
‘SEE, BROTHER? THIS IS WHAT I TELLING YOU ABOUT THE SEASIDE AIR.’
Wolf sniffed pointedly. ‘hell yeah. that sure is some crispy air.’
Black batted one hand towards his brother. ‘KNOCK IT OFF, YOU TROGLODYTE.’
Unfortunately, in all the commotion the brothers missed the seagull darting towards them with intent. Black sidestepped the creature, but it was too late. It had stolen his hot dog.
He sighed.
‘you gonna let ‘im get away with that, bro?’
‘AM I…’ Black pinched his nasal ridge with his now very free hand. ‘YES PAPYRUS I AM, BECAUSE I’M NOT GOING TO SHOOT DOWN A BIRD IN PUBLIC FOR THE SAKE OF A HOT DOG.’
‘aw, that would’ve been funny.’
Black turned towards his brother incredulously. ‘DON’T YOU HAVE SOMEWHERE TO BE? GO TERRORISE SOME CHILDREN OR SOMETHING!’
Sans
And now, this was more Sans’s speed.
After 6 hours of surfing classes, sandcastles, arcades, and volleyball (most of which Sans didn’t actually do… rather watch), there was nothing like lazing around, tucking into a fresh hot dog.
As he raised the dog and took a bite, his brother screeched, reaching towards him.
‘ACK! DON’T LET IT-’
But it was too late. A massive seagull had just brazenly plucked it from his hand, and bumbled off. It could barely fly with all the extra weight in its beak.
Papyrus’s outstretched hand dropped. ‘-TAKE… IT.’
‘hot dog, i did not expect that.’
‘SANS.’
‘absolutely ungullievable.’
‘SANS!’
Axe
‘THIS WAS NICE, WASN’T IT BROTHER?’
Axe looked up from his hot dog towards Willow, who smiled down at him. ‘yeah, ‘s a good day out.’
Willow nodded, and stretched his arms behind him. ‘MHM… THE SUN IS REALLY GOOD FOR MY BONES!’
At that moment, a large seagull divebombed the pair, aiming straight for Axe’s food. He batted it away with his free hand, and the bird dodged, snapping the hot dog between its beak-
But it was too late.
Axe had grabbed it by the neck, tearing the bun out its mouth. Unsurprisingly, the hot dog was ripped in two. Clutching half, he watched the other fall onto the sand beside his brother.
He maintained eye contact with the bird as he downed his half in one.
When he was done, he let it go, and it flew away as quickly as it had come.
‘SANS, COULD YOU… COULD YOU NOT DO THAT IN PUBLIC?’
Coffee
The pair leaned closer together on the wall. Coffee cackled under his breath while Wine muttered comments about everyone that passed them by.
‘AND HER? SHE’S BEEN MAKING ADVANCES AT HIM ALL DAY BUT IT DIDN’T GET THROUGH HIS THICK SKULL. LOOK AT THE WAY SHE’S GLARING AT HIM.’
‘you’re awful, Sans,’ Coffee snickered.
 ‘IMAGINE GETTING ALL DOLLED UP IN THAT BIKINI FOR NOTHING.’
Coffee nodded as he took another bite of his hot dog. It did look like Wine was on the money there.
Distracted, he didn’t notice the gull swoop over his shoulder until it was too late. He squealed as the bird nipped at his food, sailing away and tossing the hot dog into its mouth.
‘OH MY.’
Coffee looked at his empty, outstretched hand.
‘…again?’
15 notes · View notes
bee623 · 11 months ago
Text
I genuinely cannot describe how deeply DEVASTATED I am about riz being the only one who can take stress tokens for the others. Yes fig is a protector and will fight endlessly for her friends and I love that about her but there is something about the way riz loves his friends. It’s a more subtle kind of love, but just as relentless and passionate and he will take any burden for the people he cares about and bear the weight of it on his shoulders so they don’t have to deal with it without any hesitation. I am ILL.
185 notes · View notes
oceanwithouthermoon · 7 months ago
Text
ive been unhealthily fixated on kubosai for the past few weeks, i just have no idea how to put it into words. kuboyasu aren and saiki kusuo are in love btw
#they are.#been thinking a lot about t*rusai and k*bosai and all three of them together#(really long rant in these tags that shouldve been a rant post but im not changing it soz i got carried away LMAO->)#see the thing is that k*bosai is my absolute favorite ship ever. but i get genuinely pissed when people smack talk t*rusai#idk like i get why people wouldnt ship kbs and i really dont care. and i also get that a lot of people have differing opinions and-#wont ship trsai. i honestly cant wrap my head around why (other than people who just hate teruhashi and are misogynistic) but im okay with-#agreeing to disagree and i dont care yk??#but people so often make these long discussion posts just yapping and yapping and making up shit about how trsa 'wouldnt work'#and its always just... actual complete bullshit. like unreadable word vomit.#sorry. but its true.#thats why it gets me so mad#i cant think of a single reason why you would feel the need to do that#why cant you be normal and just. not like a ship. just dont like it. hate it even. but dont make up shit just to shit on it#its so dumb i have to force myself to just scroll past them every time i encounter one#usually on tiktok or tumblr#if i read them i wont be able to stop myself from making the most concerned and upset noises ever cuz what is actually wrong with you#theyre always the biggest dumbest stretches ever and they ignore their actual development and pretend it didnt happen#it just makes me wonder why people are so okay with making fun of that ship but get mad if anyone even dislikes theirs#and then they complain about people 'shitting on their opinion'#LIKE ?? NOBODY CARES THAT U HATE THE SHIP. I CERTAINLY DONT GAF.#but ur in the main tags advertising ur hatred for it and sounding stupid as shit for no reason? UR SHITTING ON PEOPLES SHIP ON PURPOSE#AND THEN GETTING MAD AT ANYONE WHO EVEN SAYS 'i disagree actually' IM LAUGHING SO HARD STOP IM KILLING MYSELF#the one time i ever talked in that much detail about why i disliked a ship was bevause somebody specifically asked me#and yk what ?? i have literally gotten death threats over it. im not allowed to hate that ship but everyone else can do whatever i guess#okay sorry. rant over.#is that controversial i cant tell. i dont really care and im not tagging anyway#meows post
26 notes · View notes
my-thoughts-and-junk · 2 months ago
Text
hate when i see a youtube video that's like 'analyzing why [thing] is bad!' and you watch the video and they just say nothing for twenty minutes
#random thoughts#watched a video on why a specific character was poor representation for survivors of assault#and it was such a nothing burger of a video#'this character is bad because children might see them and think their behavior is okay' okay?#i learned how to block out memories from finn adventure time but that doesn't mean memory suppression shouldn't be addressed in media#plus hazbin hotel. i'm talking about angel dust btw if that wasn't blaringly obvious. is an adult cartoon. for adults#adult cartoons shouldn't have to restrict their subject matter because kids could see it#and angel dust being a male queer SA victim using hypersexuality as a coping mechanism could be good!#and the fact he hits on other people despite it making them uncomfortable isn't exactly a problem a la his character?#it could be a control thing. i used to do something similar (pushing other people's boundaries and complaining when they pushed back)#because it made me feel some kind of control over my life#it could start off as a really shitty joke and then grow into 'oh god is that why he does that??'#but anyway their second main point was that the songs were bad? and that poison being an upbeat song makes it bad#like despite listing many other songs which are upbeat with heavy lyrics. but somehow poison is the exception because it's a cartoon?#like again that could be a character thing. angel dust using obfuscation as a coping mechanism to distract himself from his shitty life.#。・゚゚・the lyrics are upbeat to distract you from how dead i feel inside・゚゚・。#and their reading of the second song seemed really mean-spirited?#like as 'everyone has problems so you're not special because you're a whiny baby' rather than 'you're not as alone as you think you are'#and like if op wanted to just complain about a show they watched then yeah go off i do that all the time#but don't parade it as character analysis???#and they say 'oh reading it as a feelgood you're not alone message doesn't work because these characters' struggles are not equal'#but like. sometimes rape needs to feel like it's not some special trauma. it's not unique and you're not uniquely fucked up for it#two characters' traumas don't need to be directly comparable for them to bond!!!#and im not like. defending hazbin hotel btw. never seen it not going to see it no thanks#i'm just complaining about a mediocre youtube video that i'm going to forget about in a week#god i hate that brand of youtube video. where they just complain about things without going into depth about why they're bad#especially if their complaints are shallow and don't have to do with like. the actual structure of a character or story#like it's so easy to say 'this character is bad because theyre a predatory stereotype' but like. go into some depth at least#i think i hate these videos so much because they're fueled purely by hate. no love for the source material or even a desire to learn#or a love for storytelling even
9 notes · View notes
storywestistrash · 4 months ago
Text
i am actually so tired of the way westerners treat eastern europeans
#fair warning for. a very very long ramble and rant in the tags. apologies#westerner or russian. no other option#westerner because the only thought they ever have is 'but they had universal housing so if you oppose ussr you oppose that'#(which is stupid becuse you can believe in that WITHOUT WANTING LIKE 6 COUNTRIES TO BE FORCED TO BE RULED OVER BY RUSSIA)#(SORRY FOR WANTING TO LIVE IN MY COUNTRY WITH MY HISTORY AND MY CULTURE AND NOT RUSSIA!!) (poland was a sattelite state but GOD)#or russian because they have a victim complex and are convinced that they deserve to rule over the entire damn world#'well you had universal housing so you had it easy' right yeah. okay. forget about like. everything else that happened#to eastern europeans during that time#forget about the things that are STILL issues all these years later not only in poland but like the more eastern countries too#its not about. the fact that the houses 'didnt have 3 bedrooms and a jacuzzi' in them. you DUMB SACK OF SHIT#god sorry. sorry. i also know so very little but like god damn i fucking live here. i didnt sit thru all that modern history#for some dumbfuck to say that 'ohhh only rich and american middle class people are happy the ussr was dissolved'#'oooh the dissolving of the ussr was illegal and the countries within it actually liked being there'#im just so fucking tired man i need to. i need to start killing people#and this is all not to mention that theyll say this stupid shit and then deny eastern europeans the things they actually did that were good#FUCK french people for trying to claim maria skłodowska. fuck americans for trying to claim the witcher as their own fantasy world#fuck the way the west is allowed to claim and destroy eastern european culture without any consequence because we dont matter enough#vaguely related but ill throw this in here since anyone finding it is unlikely and im scared of having this opinion#i think one underappreciated aspect of DE (which might be underappreciated because its not actually there and im stupid)#is that its pro-communist while still also giving some criticism to how it was handled and acknowledging that its still not perfect#which makes the writers much better communists than any self-proclaimed one ive ever met in my life who just worships the idea#perhaps its because the writers of the game were not white upper middle-class americans living in the suburbs. among other things#idk de is a game for people far smarter than me and i only played it once and im sure anyone who played it well can clock me as a bad perso#horrible horrible person even which is why im scared of mentioning it. but its an interesting thing. to me#the main thing is that im just not. im not far left enough i suppose. i agree communism in theory is a great idea. as far as i know it#(which isnt very far)#but chances of implementing it correctly in a way that doesnt take away from peoples happiness in other areas is. low. very low#i wrote a short essay about how utopias are inherently contradictory ideas once it wasnt very deep or good but like#you cant have universal happiness without restricting certain freedoms. and when those freedoms are resticted not everyone#will be happy. and then theyre unhappy they will have to be somehow removed or ignored
16 notes · View notes
bluebellhairpin · 4 months ago
Text
I'm getting to the end of my line over here.
8 notes · View notes
monards · 5 months ago
Text
i fear that i don’t acknowledge enough the fact that i KNOW rhinedottir's evil !!! and she's horrible !!! and that she's wholly ireedamable !!! i know and love and respect that fact !!! i'd shoot myself in the frontal lobe if hoyo made her out to NOT be wholly evil !!!! but the reason i always go on and on and on about her humanity and complexity is because. SHE IS ALWAYS DUMBED DOWN !!!! TO JUST THAT !!!! it's literally the greatest and most moving theme (IN MY OPINION!!!) in genshin, that human beings are COMPLEX !!!! and they're MORE than just evil or bad or wtv. we see this through every character to almost ever be introduced to us -> literally just take arlecchino as an example. if anyone was at all paying attention to the discourse around her when the fontaine teaser dropped (and. 4.0 in general) it was the BIGGEST thing to watch people argue between "she's a harbinger, so she's clearly the most evil and the big antagonist of fontaine because of these accounts we have right now !!" versus the argument of "we've only seen ONE perspective of her so far, and it's no duh that all this stuff sucks -- but there's no way she's JUST gonna be all these horrible things,, because literally nobody to exist is just horrible and cruel with zero to no good in them. and also that'd make a shit narrative by hoyo in a story driven game" AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED !!!! we saw !!! in REAL time !!! that while arlecchino was rightfully cruel and horrible and, yes the things she did were fucked up beyond belief and she should absolutely not be excused for any of it - she is NOT just evil ! she's shown to care, albeit in a fucked up way that only shows she's even more deranged ; but what's so incredibly important about her is the way that her being "evil" doesn't mean she's incapable of anything else. She is evil, yes— but so many of those evil actions have *motives* and *reasons* that explain them (but not excuse or condone!) and, although they don’t save her grace or anything of the sort, they DO show her true character. AND YHATS SO IMPORTANT!!!! She’s capable of being an antagonist while still being justified in some form, and given nuance and backstory and redeemable traits
I am !!! NEVER !!! going to say rhinedottir is a good person. she isn't! no shit sherlock ! how the fuck do you think im gonna go on and ignore the fact she sent both her kids to their deaths, and also fed one to another. dare i say, that is NOT anything good !!! suprise of the century !! woah !!! -- but what i AM gonna say is that she's much beyond that? hello !! not only has the point of her having not a zero good trait or will in her body been. proven false over and over and over again. but it's such ! Sad and not compelling is character choice for her *not* to be nuanced and complex and justified in a fucked up !! — like do you REALLY think hoyoverse (who is clearly capable of, and likes to make) complex characters, who are horrible, while not being *only* those horrible things, would pass up a golden (haha) opportunity to make a characters whose entire existence is JUST that??!,!2????
believe what you want! Do what you want! This is a silly video game that will be eroded along with time in a hundred in so years ! But god so help me, please don’t be willfully ignorant to the complexity and nuance of characters, just because you want a villain. No villain , real or not, is entirely evil. People are complex and multi faceted and people really, really need to hop off this cart of going “okay but stop saying she’s multifaceted because it takes away from her being evil” because it DOESNT! If anything, it makes her so much more compelling . Which is something some people can apparently. Not handle.
#this isn’t even MENTIONING that she survived the cataclysm and#the implications that you guys are going to immediately villainize the one that got their nation destroyed. rather than the ones#that destroyed and cursed the people of it#HELLO.#-> I don’t see asmoday fans! or phanes fans!#because people are SO ignorant to things when it isn’t shoved in your face#you guys care about Rhinedottir this much because she’s so publicized. but celestia is JUST as bad and I have yet to see more than like#three fans of them. the group/faction who fit people’s perception of Rhinedottir even more than#Rhine herself#(not including the istaroth fans. you are all lovely. I love you guys.)#(thank you for being insane over her.)#-> like yesss guys! let’s demonize and antagonize the war survivor who went through just as much trauma as everyone else#who was just human (a point which was just established in the Fontaine quest to be HUGE when it comes to such extensive trauma like that)#and is clearly fucked up in the head. a tad against her decison#IM NOT SAYING THAT EXCUSES HER??? NO SHIT IT DOESNT???#but GOD so help me. THATS HER REASON!#HER OERSONAL JUSTIFICATION! MOTIVE!#why do people have to be so obsessed with making her an unjustified and evil entity when she’s. not that#she’s justified! even if it isn’t by a practical standard!#but I need YOU to put yourself into her shoes for a second#how the fuck would YOU react to your people being murdered and cursed#being wholly antagonized by everyone to live#experiencing isolation from society#and then going through the whole ‘like teo thirds of my magnum opuses just died’ thing#this isn’t even! to MENTION! the fact she holds a fucked up sense of affection for them?#do you truly think she felt NOTHING#I don’t care if you wanna talk about her sending them out to be killed. that doesn’t meant she can’t feel grief#they’re DRAGONSdeidgned for destruction what the fucj did you expect#-> hate her all you want! that’s okay! but don’t villainize her for no reason other that uoucamt think beyond surface level#crepe rambles
8 notes · View notes
silent-sentinels · 4 hours ago
Text
i need everyone to understand that i am trying my best and i hate every second of it.
#🪟#[three of swords]#sorry i just need to complain don't worry about it.#everyone hates me and if they dont they will and i am going to die because of it and they're going to kill me and i will deserve it.#sighs okay i know that's not true everyone's telling me that's not true and i know. i know. it's just the avpd i /know/.#yes we have a facet who is self awareness i know im being irrational. however i am like mental illness personified so it's. hard.#we're trying so hard. oh my god it's so difficult and our trying looks like nothing is happening and it's never going to be enough and#okay. i /know/. not true. it's constantly just spiking and then trying to calm myself down. i wish the self-awareness made it easier!#it's a constant ''[REALLY BAD THOUGHT]'' ''no it's okay.'' ''[REALLY BAD THOUGHT]'' ''that won't happen'' ''[REALLY B#having to constantly catch myself. is that normal that can't be the normal experience this is excruciating.#if it turns out im holding more than one disorder im going to. okay i'm not going to do that. but i will handle it very badly.#nothing's even happening!! but whenever i think about us talking to people i want to vomit from anxiety? but i know it's not that bad but#im a skill with too many points. im only supposed to withdraw when our social battery is overwhelmed. im meant to remind us to take time#for ourselves when we need to. and i do that. but something fucked me up. im bad now im wrong im a detriment im too overwhelmed when i#shouldn't be i just keep wanting to withdraw and our intrusive thoughts get so /bad/ because of me and all im doing is hurting the system..#im trying im trying im trying i know facets in the system want to socialize good god im trying to let them.#but also i need to walk directly into the ocean until i fucking d#NO fuck AUGH it's so hard!! okay okay that's it im sorry im sorry i just had to. talk about it. don't worry this is fine it's fine.#sigh. okay. it's okay. i'm okay. god this'll probably last until tomorrow im sorry. and i know people are willing to wait for us#they shouldn't have to they should jjust fucking OKAY someone else take over please..
3 notes · View notes
tommygotwrittenoff · 10 days ago
Text
chim buys buck a kiss the cook apron as a gag gift but buck unironically loves it and wears it all the time so it becomes his go to apron. anyway eddie comes over for dinner and buck is like 🥰🥰🥰 dinner is almost ready. and eddie looks at him and his stupid apron and is like. well, if you insist. and kisses him.
2 notes · View notes
girlivealwaysbean · 11 days ago
Text
.
#bro why is everyone growing up and away and trying to figure out their lives and careers and loves#and im just sitting here missing them?#like sure im trying to figure out mine too we're all that age so I don't resent them for it#but why don't they miss me? why don't they feel empty when they haven't talked to me in a long time?#like. didn't they feel very light and happy after talking to me like i did with them don't they have a bad day and think that oh ill#talk to me and it will all feel okay even if it isn't just for a minute?#oh ny god i feel so pathetic asking this but like why am i suddenly crying now???#like my bestf. she's so busy in her new internship in mumbai that she can't be bothered to text me back#a simple yes no question for days. like i understand you have cool new office and work and friends and your stupid fucking ex#that you couldn't stop crying about to me living in that city with you but what about me? what about us?? what about you saying#that you're my first bestfriend i haven't told this to anyone else this is forever everyone else judges me but you're the best#like i just feel like if you're going to leave me then don't fucking say shit like that to me??#okay oh my god this is so irrational but i literally can't stop crying and it's definitely pms like i checked#she's not even leaving she's just suddenly busy and adjusting it's only been like a month#but i hate this stupid fucking knife like fear that as soon as someone is a little busy or seems like they're pulling away a little my#brain is like okay they hate me they're going to leave me so pack your bags we're leaving first#like i know a better solution would be to just tell her that hey dude i fucking miss you and i saw this show and remember how you used to#love peter kavinsky because he was adorable and i want to sit and watch it with you and just why aren't we back in school#where we are basically forced to hang out for like 7 hours because im so sick of only seeing you like once in 2 months for a few hours#like i know it's not your fault and we're just growing up and in different directions but just please like five more minutes can you stay#i don't even have the confidence to say anything to her lol she's my only friend like if even she gets mad and leaves#but i know that's not how healthy relationships work. and ugh my sister is so fucking far away i can feel it everyday#in the 5 and a half hour time difference. i hate this i hate everyone everyone has to go so far away#i hate living in this empty fucking house and being responsible for my own emotions fuck this isse accha toh living with dad hi hai#atleast when im there there are only 2 emotions anxiety and boredom. now i have a whole house to myself to cry whenever I need#for however long i need in a locked room. really looking forward to adulting haha i can see just see myself succeeding so well🙄#man this is crazy im gonna go do jumping jacks or something so this comes and goes faster#umm#dni
4 notes · View notes