#everyone liked this one even though i screwed up on dry mounting it for the final

[onehourphoto]

tucson / ilford hp5 / march 2019

[artificialqueens]

Reckless (Bianca & Adore) - Candy Cane

A/N: im living in 2015 right now so like. ignore me fsdfsdf but anyways, here’s 2.8k of more incredibly self-indulgent fanfiction. i wrote this as platonic, but if you wanna see anything in here as romantic be my guest!! id like to thank chaoticnachokitten for supporting me and giving me ideas and beta'ing and i just- GAAAHH THANK YOU!! and thanks to everyone else who had such nice words to say abt my last one, it means soooo much 🥺🥺🥺

Summary: Adore and Bianca hang out, but of course things go wrong.

Adore loves hanging out with Bianca. Not only is she her best friend, but she’s the kind of person Adore thought would’ve hated her. But that’s not the case at all, there’s some sort of weird mutual respect and admiration going on between them, and it is fucking awesome.

The young musician knows she can be… a lot sometimes, what with her natural hyperactive toddler personality type, and it amazes her Bianca puts up with her. Especially in moments where Adore knows she shouldn’t be bothering her friend, but decides to anyways because Bianca can be boring sometimes. Moments like this one.

Adore had a gig at one of the clubs, and it ran much later than she had originally anticipated, but that was mostly due to her wanting to stay for Bianca’s set too. Of course, that led to them sharing a few too many drinks together while they stayed to watch some more performers. So when it came time for them to go home, Adore can’t find her keys.

It’s late. Late enough there’s no guarantee Adore’s roommates will be up to let her back into the apartment. The singer immediately turns to her oldest, nearest, dearest friend.

“Oh my God,” Bianca sighs whilst massaging her temples, seeing the next ten hours play out clear as day in front of her.

“Pleaaase can I stay at your place tonight Bia?” Adore asks, using her most pitiful voice and absolute poutiest facial expression.

They’re sat at a table in the back, Adore’s hands perched on Bianca’s knees as she essentially begs. Adore’s too drunk to care.

“Why don’t you call someone to see if they’ll stay up for you?” Bianca retorts like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. To be fair, it probably is. Adore’s still too drunk to realize that though.

“Oh yeah,” she says, knowing she sounds like the world’s dumbest bitch. She fumbles with her phone for a few seconds, poking the screen and the on button for an embarrassing amount of time before turning to Bianca with another sad pouty face, “It’s dead.”

“Of course it’s fucking dead,” Bianca groans, playing it up like she really does mind Adore staying with her for the night. She doesn’t, she probably would never. Adore is like the niece she never had, and she wouldn’t trade that girl for the world.

“Why don’t I just call one of them on mine?” Bianca offers.

Adobe frowns, putting on her thinking face, “…I don’t remember their numbers.��

“I can call Courtney,” Bianca reminds her.

“Oh yeah!”

A few minutes later, they discover they cannot call Courtney. They try calling her twice, and both times are a bust.

She glances down at Adore, and chuckles when she sees the “Bambi eyes”. Even if she weren’t planning on letting the kid stay with her, that would’ve done her in. She hasn’t met a single person that can resist those eyes.

“I’ll be quiet! I promise!” the singer whines.

Bianca makes an exaggerated show of sighing and hemming and hawing, just to tease Adore, then cracks open a wide, amused smile, “Of course you can stay at my place, bitch.”

“Party!” Adore cheers, throwing her arms tightly around Bianca’s neck. It’s all the thanks Bianca needs.

They pay their bills, order a Lyft, and in more time than either would’ve preferred, they make it to Bianca’s huge ass apartment. The pair stumbles inside the building, trying to look as Not Drunk as they can, and failing miserably. It doesn’t matter anyways, it’s almost 3 a.m. meaning there’s not a soul alive there to watch them.

Bianca leads Adore to the elevator, even if it’s pointless because Adore randomly shows up at Bianca’s place at least three times a week. The singer grips Bianca’s hand tightly, giggling and stumbling while the comic practically barks at her to be quieter. They’re lucky it’s a Friday. Well, a Saturday now, Bianca supposes.

The pair climbs up the one flight of stairs to Bianca’s apartment, and then into the apartment itself after Bianca spends a couple minutes fumbling with her keys. The door swings open, and they both fall onto the nearest couch.

They’re breathless with laughter, and then it starts up again when Bianca realizes she hasn’t closed her apartment door yet.

After she locks her apartment back up and turns on some lights, the older woman finds she can’t take her eyes off of Adore. The younger is smiling so freely, and it ignites something inside Bianca. She’s not sure what it is, maybe youthfulness, or freedom, but she loves it.

“B! Oh my God! I have an idea!” Adore suddenly says, sitting up way too fast and clearly making herself dizzy.

“Don’t kill yourself, otherwise I’m the one that has to call 911. You think I want paramedics at my house before the sunrises? Fuck no,” Bianca berates her, but she’s quick to recompose herself when Adore goes all pouty again, “What’s your idea? God knows you only come up with a good one every millennium.”

Adore childishly sticks her tongue out at Bianca, “We should make waffles!”

“How the fuck are we supposed to make waffles? I’m not a cook, I don’t keep that shit in my house.”

Adore screws up her face cutely, clearly trying to think of a solution to her waffle problem. She brightens up again after a minute, looking very proud of herself, “Alyssa! I bet Alyssa has it!”

Bianca rolls her eyes, “You really think I wanna speak to her right now? At three in the goddamn morning?”

“But waffles!” Adore insists.

“Tomorrow,” Bianca promises, “Right now I want to get out of this clown costume and into bed.”

Adore sighs, then tries her best puppy eyes again, “Cuddles?”

“You’re here, aren’t you?” Bianca snorts. Adore smiles as bright as the sun, then at Bianca’s beckoning she follows her best friend down the hall so they can take off their makeup and get ready for bed. When they’re finally able to snuggle up in bed together, Adore in one of Bianca’s old shirts and pair of leggings, the whole apartment pitch black, and the only sound they could hear was the sound of each other’s breathing.

It’s soothing and warm. They sleep like rocks.

The sun wakes Adore up at way too fucking early though. Her head is pounding, her arm has fallen asleep from Bianca laying on it through the night, and she is really fucking hungry. Adore groans and gently pulls her arm out from under Bianca, then stumbles out of the way too big, way too soft bed to go find something to take care of her headache.

She’s quickly able to find where Bianca keeps those things (the mounted cabinet in the bathroom) because Adore used to spend a ridiculous amount of time at this apartment complaining about her ailments to Bianca, which of course lead Bianca to freely helping Adore out whenever. Bianca would act all cold and exasperated over it, but they both knew it was just a show.

Adore downs two of the pills dry and decides nearly immediately she should go find something to drink. In mere minutes she has a pot of coffee brewing, and simultaneously discovers that it’s only around 9 a.m.. Which is just overall… weird. Adore is almost never up this early, especially after the kind of night she had last night. The events of the night are still pretty fuzzy right now, but she still remembers everything. Mostly. She thinks.

One thing she does remember is a promise. A promise for waffles. Adore grins, an idea formulating in her head. Bianca is always so incredibly nice to her, helping her out and giving her whatever she wants. And sure, it’s not Mother’s Day, but that doesn’t mean Adore can’t show her appreciation for Bianca.

Clearly the woman deserves breakfast in bed. Courtesy of a little help from a next door neighbor (hopefully). The singer quickly grabs Bianca’s key off the counter and heads over to the one person she knows will have just what she wants.

Adore knocks on the door, and it’s only a minute later with an accompanied shout of ‘I’m comin’ hon!’ that the heavy white door is thrown open.

“Oh my goodness it’s Adore Delano!” Alyssa Edwards says excitedly, “Hello, doll!”

“Hi, Alyssa!” Adore smiles, “Um, I have a favor to ask of you?”

                                                                   ~*~

Bianca’s favorite way to wake up is slowly, with the sun streaming in through her bedroom window and having absolutely all the time in the world to get up, check her phone, and get ready for work. This morning is the exact fucking opposite.

First thing that wakes her up is the motherfucking fire alarm, causing her to scramble out of bed at a record speed. Second thing, she’s painfully aware that Adore isn’t in the bed with her. Bianca is halfway through screaming Adore’s name when she bursts out into the main room.

The main room is smokey as all hell. Adore is aiming a fire extinguisher at the counter from the other side of the kitchen. The counter is covered in white foam. Her damn fire alarm won’t shut up.

Bianca’s going to have a hard time explaining this one to the neighbors for sure.

The older woman breathes in slowly, but sharply, “Adore, what the fuck did you do?”

Adore doesn’t say anything. She lets go of the fire extinguisher, and they both wince when it crashes against the kitchen tile. Not for the first time, Bianca is glad that she lives on the first floor.

The two stare at each other, Adore resting boneless against the oven, her expression just screaming shock. She lifts her head to meet Bianca’s eyes.

Pounding on the door, someone starts shouting, “BIANCA?! HOLY GOD, IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT?”

The woman in question is quick to open her apartment door, but instead of accepting the concern, she barks out, “What do you want?”

“The whole damn building knows your alarms are going off, Bianca!” Alyssa says sharply, shoving her way inside the apartment, “My girls are coming over in two hours! I can’t have my house burning down on me.” Bianca and Adore share a twin look of surprise. Alyssa’s always been Bianca’s favorite neighbor, that’s no secret, but this is a tightly concealed side of her that neither of them have ever really seen. It’s concern. Worry. But not for herself, for them. Even if it does come off as something else. This is just something not usually associated with her.

“Okay,” Bianca says carefully, “What the fuck is going on.”

“That’s what I want to know,” Alyssa agrees, lips pursed skeptically, “Adore told me y’all were making waffles.” It’s absurd. The fire alarm is still blaring. Adore has crushed herself into a nook, looking petrified. Bianca is very hungover and her most beloved annoying neighbor is standing in her house at way too early o’clock. Bianca suddenly realizes that even though there’s no fire, there’s still smoke in her apartment, and she really wants that alarm to shut the fuck up. Also, the smoke is going to stain her expensive shit if she doesn’t get it out.

She starts to open all the windows in the main room, and is grateful when Alyssa comes to help her. They make short work of it, and when she turns around to look at her best friend, she feels scared.

She’s scared that Adore might be hurt. She’s scared that she didn’t do anything to prevent this. But mostly she’s scared that something might be broken between them.  

For the first time since walking in, Bianca notices bowls spread across her kitchen counter. Bowls and boxes and whisks… It clicks.

“Okay,” Bianca exhales, “Alyssa, what the fuck did you just say about waffles?”

“Adore came to me a little while ago and asked me if I could lend you two some waffle ingredients,” Alyssa starts slowly, “And I think to myself, ‘Now Alyssa Edwards, as a woman of God it is your duty to love your neighbor and let her make some waffles on this beautiful morning-’”

“Alyssa, you let my dumbass kid do WHAT?! You fucking know she can’t cook! We have had this conversation a hundred times!”

“Well, Adore said to me ‘Bianca and I’ not ‘I’m going to’! I thought you were gonna be helping her!”

“WHY WOULD YOU ASSUME THAT? WHEN HAVE I EVER COOKED?!”

“I’m sorry!” Adore snaps, her voice quivering and tears welling up in her eyes, causing Bianca and Alyssa to turn to her, “I’m so, so sorry- I didn’t mean for this to happen! I just- I just wanted-”

Bianca stares at Adore with shock, not fully comprehending everything happening. Between her hangover and the sheer chaos of the first fifteen minutes of being awake, she’s not entirely sure why Adore is so distressed. Adore starts whispering ‘I’m sorry’ over and over to herself, hugging her knees tight to her chest, tears starting to crawl down her face, and it hits Bianca like a train.

“Alyssa…” Bianca says slowly, but she’s unable to tear her eyes away from Adore.

Adore’s blaming herself completely and totally. And it makes sense, she is the one that started the whole mess. But Bianca can’t stand that look on Adore’s face. She’d much rather put the blame on Alyssa (who can more than handle it) instead of Adore (who is currently having a nervous breakdown).

But Adore isn’t having it.

“No, this is my fault. I’m not- I’m not that stupid, Bianca. I’m not that useless, either. I’m not a kid. I’m not someone you should leave supervision for. I’m fucking twenty-four. Stop treating me like I’m not,” Adore’s words are cold, but her face tells Bianca the musician is falling apart, “Look me in the eye, Bianca.”

She does.

“Yell at me,” Adore says.

She can’t. Bianca doesn’t even want to. She feels like she failed here, because Adore isn’t her kid but God does it feel like it sometimes.

“We’ll replace your stuff, Alyssa,” is what Bianca says instead.

Luckily, the woman accepts that as her cue to go. She gives Bianca a hug and a kiss on the cheek before she leaves, and sends air kisses Adore’s way. Adore gives Alyssa a weak smile.

The door closes. Bianca and Adore lock eyes.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Bianca says. It’s a tired, worried voice. Not at all what Adore was expecting, or even wanted.

“I wanted to surprise you,” Adore answers simply, arms crossed defensively over her chest, “You do so much for me. For everyone. And I know you said last night we’d do it together but I just… I wanted to do something for you.”

That alone melt’s Bianca’s heart. It’s been getting easier and easier lately for Adore, and by extension the rest of their friends, to do that. For a while she thought moving to this city was stupid, and probably the worst decision of her life. But even now, after such a chaotic fucking twenty-five minutes of being awake, Bianca is so happy she’s here.

“Next time, buy me something online,” Bianca says, warm and forgiving, instead of cold and biting like Adore would’ve expected.

The younger practically runs into Bianca’s open arms. The embrace is full of love, and Adore feels that it’s okay. She still blames herself, she’s still stupidly upset, but Bianca… Bianca makes her feel like everything will be okay.

They sit there hugging for a few minutes, then Bianca mutters, “Good thing you knew how to use that extinguisher, I think that’s been hanging there for ten years.”

Adore chuckles wetly, face buried into Bianca’s shoulder, “Yeah… Hey, shouldn’t have all the other alarms gone off too?”

Bianca freezes. Adore is right, all the other fire alarms in the building should’ve had people evacuating.

“I guess the building needs to get that fixed, huh? Maybe you being a walking disaster is a good thing after all, if that had been real, everyone would’ve been fucked.”

“Wow,” Adore whispers, “Maybe our building should get that checked too…? Oh my God. Oh my God.”

“What?!” Bianca asks, pulling away from Adore to see what’s wrong.

“I never went home last night,” Adore says, “I never charged my phone. I never texted my roommates.”

Bianca suddenly doubles over laughing, fully bellied and absolutely batshit crazy, “Good, Courtney doesn’t get nearly enough stress in her life!”

Adore breaks out into a grin, and feels her worries start to melt away. Somehow, Bianca is really fucking good at doing that.

“Alright,” Bianca sighs, looking at the pure mess that is now her kitchen, “Let’s charge our phones and order breakfast.”

And they do.

Neither would’ve spent the hour following that disaster any other way.

[halothenthehorns]

TLTNL- BEYOND THE VEIL

James weighed the book uncertainly in his hand, though watching Harry was infinitely heavier. Harry was very clearly trying his hardest to push out for all of them that now Sirius wasn't there, everything should be okay, but not a one of them were fooled. He would not sit down, pacing anxiously along the length of the couch now that he had the room to stretch, but still hovering near Sirius more than was called for with what his own words said. The new voice that had just arrived did not feel like a good thing, not many people called Harry by his last name.

Shadows appeared all around them, Ginny gave a gasp of horror when she saw they were all wearing masks with wands pointed at their hearts.

So did they, but James couldn't bring himself to believe it until he said.

Malfoy repeated that Potter give that to him.

"Death Eaters!" Sirius spat. How was it even possible by this point the day would continue to grow worse by the second.

Though none of them had been fool enough to think at least some of Voldemort's minions wouldn't accompany him on whatever this was, the fact that the kids hadn't walked into some roaring battle left them with just a second of hope whatever had happened with Sirius had already been resolved. Now they became all to aware of that ambush.

"How did this even happen?" James demanded of nothing. He was far past his means for normal thought for the day, he still didn't even know if Sirius was okay for being in Voldemort's presence for how many hours!

"I can see it," Remus muttered uneasily, though his dry throat made it hard to keep going with his own thoughts. "Snape would have told what Harry said, the Order would have reacted getting in and out as fast as possible. We'd of course be weary and suspicious as hell-"

"That's a lot of if's and maybe's," Sirius hissed. "We still don't even know the Order found me-"

"Shut up Sirius," they all said at once.

  Sirius scowled at the lot of them. He didn't like to think of the alternative either, but them pretending it hadn't happened wasn't going to make it better.

Lily pulled at the only spot of good she could find in Remus' idea, "so that means the Order may still be nearby."

James didn't see how that was making her feel any better, as he forced himself to keep going with his stomach turned into such a tight knot he was confident it wasn't ever going to come loose.

Harry's insides plummeted sickeningly. They were trapped, and outnumbered two to one.

"How many were there?" Remus rasped. He'd stupidly been envisioning just Malfoy, maybe one or two others that could go in and out of the Ministry, but that meant there were at least a dozen!

When Harry whispered as much, nobody wanted to believe him. Moments before they'd been sure they were fixing to hear about Sirius dying in this black abyss of a place, now they were wondering how Harry had gotten out! If all of his friends had...

"Keep going James!" Lily hissed, smacking him on the arm hard.

"Right, yeah," he muttered, having to forcefully drag his eyes back to the print, his heart still thudding so hard in his chest he'd blame that on the reason for his stuttering words.

Harry instead demanded where Sirius was, and a harsh female voice laughed loudly, mocking him the Dark Lord always knows!

"That's not an answer," Lily said venomously.

"They aren't gloating they still have him," Remus clutched to this idea like a lifeline. "They're just screwing with Harry."

Malfoy echoed always.*

"No, he doesn't," James countered at once, all the times his son had beaten Voldemort hovering right in his mind's eye now, he'd find a way out of this for everyone.

Then he again repeated Potter give him that prophecy.

"Prophecy's," Sirius whispered, causing Harry to shake worse than ever as they all looked to him. "I knew I remembered something about those. My Aunt's mentioned them, the one who said she was a Seer. She told me about Prophecy's at the Ministry..."

"What do those have to do with anything?" Remus demanded faintly, he'd certainly never had a care for these types of things before one nearly ruined Sirius' life.

"She ah, went into rather great detail," Sirius struggled to explain while keeping a casual tone, growing harder by the word as chills were emanating from Harry more every second. "About, how they look, and the Ministry puts the initials on them of the Seer and who the Prophecy was spoken to, who it's for-"

"So this Prophecy was made for Dumbledore from, okay that could be anyone." Lily muttered as she remembered those initials.

"What makes you say Dumbledore?!" James put his hands up in frustration they were all talking around him and he just wanted to hear of Harry being out of there, to find out where Sirius was now!

"The initials," Lily repeated them. "Those are the initials to his full name, that's how he'd even know about this weapon Voldemort wants."

"Well those aren't Voldemort's real initials," Sirius pointed out for the other one, "and I wonder why there's a question mark on before Harry's name."

"No, but it's about Voldemort," Remus agreed. "If someone like your Aunt was the person who put it in there, I'm not surprised they referred to him as Dark Lord. Why's it lit up though, when others were darkened out?" Remus asked, deciding now it was relevant he may as well interrogate Sirius for all this.

"Best guess, those that have happened go dark, and those that have yet to, stay lit," Sirius offered, screwing his face up to think back to that nine year old chatting with spooky old Aunt Misapinoa who always wore a shroud around her face.

Lily wasn't aware her heart could go numb until the sensation coiled around her chest, the only thing really helping her understand the words, "so, what? This, thing, what kind of weapon is it? A Prophecy about Voldemort and Harry, and it was made before he was even born." She didn't regret putting her infant away from all this, but suddenly she wanted him right back in her arms now, wondering if Dumbledore knew this existed now, did you have to be there for a Prophecy to be put in the Department of Mysteries? Voldemort had known about it before that Death Eater that worked in there had given details. Was there someone in the Order watching it that even they didn't know about?

"This is insane," Sirius huffed, even the one who'd believed in Seer magic all his life was having a hard time wrapping his mind around this. "The last one we heard didn't exactly have a wealth of information, bloody hell it wasn't even talking about the person I thought it was. What does Voldemort think he's going to get out of this?"

"This is all fascinating," James said, still too high strung to really make himself sound like that as he told Sirius, "but you're pulling shit out of your arse, and I'd rather just hear about it away from there by now!"

Sirius huffed, he was only trying to help, but didn't stop James as he tried to keep going.**

Harry ignored this and snapped he wanted to know where Sirius was!

The same female mocked these words back at him.

Sirius blinked slowly, he had not heard mockery like that in many long years already...

The Death Eaters were so close now Harry's group couldn't have stuck a wand between them as the woman kept going in a mock baby voice that poor wittle Potter had been fwightened by a dweam he thought was tuoo.

James wasn't doing a very good job on that mocking voice, he'd never be able to mock his child for something like this, but even still, his voice didn't particularly come out like his own at the end.

"Does she really get some kind of glory from mocking him?" Remus tried to say in some kind of disgust, but it didn't come out quite right.

Lily couldn't speak, the ghastly pallor of her skin promised nothing coherent anyways.

Harry couldn't feel his own mouth, it was as if something else was speaking through him, "Hermione was right-"

"No she wasn't," Remus hissed, his eyes too bright. "It's not possible, Voldemort couldn't- he didn't know- how could she- how could anyone-"

"Moony-" Sirius tried to say, a look of dawning horror pushing fear for his own future into an even more unstable regards seeing as now he had no clue what was even real anymore.

"Later," James snarled at the both of them. His whole body was still shaking from the pounding of his heart, and whatever was the truth would have to be just that, later, he had to hear about his son living through this first.

Ron moved just slightly, but Harry softly warned him not yet.

This caused the woman to scream with mirthless laughter, demanding they all watch as Potter gave instructions to these children, as if they were actually going to fight.

"Damn straight." Sirius said with absolution. Whatever was going on here, Harry wasn't going to take that lying down, at least that was one solid thing he could get his head around.

Malfoy wasn't as amused as her, saying Bellatrix didn't know Potter as he did, he had a weakness for heroics, which the Dark Lord understood about him.

"Probably from the last time where he beat him in front of all of them!" Lily stated, trying to shift her weight into her own fighting stance and having to forcefully remember there were no Death Eaters in her living room now, threatening her family. She'd saved her son last time, but it had been Harry that had brought her and James there, he'd find a way out from this too.

Malfoy again demanded the Prophecy.

James gave not a second to spare that Sirius may have been right on what these things were, he didn't care about anything anymore unless it involved his son and friends running back out of there.

Harry ignored that again and insisted he knew Sirius was here, they had him!

The Death Eaters just laughed again, the woman hardest of all.

Malfoy insisted this was the real world, no dream of his, and if he didn't hand over that prophecy they were going to start using wands.

Harry egged them to do it, while ignoring his own mounting panic that he'd led his friends to their death for nothing.

"No Harry," Lily said at once, hating to cut James off now more than ever, but she wouldn't let him think this for a second. "You were only doing what you thought was right at the time, no one would ever-"

Harry couldn't hear the rest. He was sure there was more, but the moment she stopped he gave a jerky nod in whatever agreement that was supposed to be just so his dad would keep going.

Lily was not at all appeased, she knew by the fact his face didn't change one bit he hadn't heard her, but there would be time for him to hear here after he was out of there.

The Death Eaters did not move though, Malfoy still insisting it be handed over.

Harry just laughed, mocking back that he would and they'd let them all just skip off home then?

"Maybe even give you some pocket money for the journey," James sneered under his breath, unable to stop his own sharp tongue responding to such ludicrousy.

Bellatrix lost her patience and tried to summon it to her, but Harry blocked it with the Protego charm.

Angered, Bellatrix began another curse, but Malfoy stopped her, telling her not to smash it!

"They just gave an advantage," Remus said quietly, low under his breath like he was only trying to speak to those around him. Adrenaline was telling all of them to get ready for a right.

Harry hardly heard them, his mind racing fast for a way out of this, to make sure none of his friends paid a price for his stupidity.

Sirius leaned in protectively close to Harry, the urge burning to tell him just how not stupid this was, none of this was his fault, but Harry was still thinking of the more important issue at hand, keeping his wits, they could handle this issue later.

The woman removed her mask then, and Harry saw that Azkaban had hollowed out Bellatrix Lestrange's features, but her eyes were still alive with a fanatic glow.

Sirius snarled fiercely, as if all his hair would go on end if it could. He suddenly couldn't decide if it would even be better for that pathetic rat to be there instead, but that deranged being around his godson actually felt worse.

"That's one of the vermin who tormented Frank and Alice," Lily shrieked in outrage.

James muttered a desperate plea as if in prayer before managing to keep going no matter how much it strained his voice. His eyes burned so much it was a miracle he could still see the words, he couldn't believe it had somehow all come back to Harry being near that twisted being.

Her chest was heaving with anticipation as she tried the new tactic of suggesting they start torturing others instead until Potter gave that up, they'd start with the little girl, she'd do it herself.

"No!" Harry said that with such force, James actually stopped for a moment just to glance at him in concern. The flat, sharp word had promised death to the first person who so much as looked at Ginny the wrong way now, which James could honestly appreciate as he felt the same towards Lily, though he was sure it wasn't the exact same for Harry.

Harry stepped sideways so he was right in front of Ginny, the others too blocking her from sight and wands held up to their chest, the prophecy now the center of all them.

Remus shifted his weight restlessly even as he felt Harry was to be congratulated for putting himself in their line of fire. He had the object they so wanted, and was least likely to be killed of all those kids.

Harry tried stalling instead, asking what was so important about this thing? He couldn't think of anything else, he hoped the others were thinking of a way out of this, his mind was still blank with panic.

"Better than screaming panic," Lily assured, that was still half of her mind.

Bellatrix asked if he was jesting?

"Not really, no," Remus muttered, though even his own mouth wasn't registering to his own ears.

Harry said he wasn't, he wanted to know why Voldemort wanted this.

This caused the most outrage from the Death Eaters, Bellatrix shrieking he dare say that name with his half-blood's tongue!

"So is she saying pure-bloods could?" Sirius tried for a bland tone of voice in mocking back, though he'd never more felt the urge to simply slam a door shut on some member of his family's face.

He was ignored by James anyways, they'd never less cared about the taboo on Voldemort's name most people carried, especially his own followers. James wished Harry wouldn't choose now to provoke these Death Eaters even as he commended it on further keeping them off guard.

Harry recklessly shouted back Voldemort was just as much a half-blood.

"Are you mad!" Lily shrieked, watching her son and expecting him to drop dead any second now. "To tell that to them now!"

"I don't blame him," James frowned heavily at that even while wanting to clap him on the shoulder. "Piss them off well enough, they'll stop thinking, kids can make a run for it."

"Go big or go home," Remus said faintly, thinking of all the times for Harry to let his own mouth get away from him.

Harry told what he knew to taunt them, how his father had been a Muggle-

Bellatrix tried to shout Stupefy at him-

"You're lucky that's the curse she sent!" Sirius screeched in Harry's ear. He remembered his own times when he had showed even a little rebellion in questioning what Voldemort was doing, what his family would do to punish him for that. It was an actual miracle none had tried to draw Harry's blood for that comment alone.

Harry had winced and rubbed at his ear as he looked to Sirius, his right hand still trying to curl around nothing, like he had the prophecy clasped there now.

Malfoy blocked the spell for him though, bawling in her ear not to hit that prophecy!

Her spell went wild, and two little glass orbs fell from the shelves instead. The glass shattered, and foggy little figures appeared where the remnants still were, and began to speak.

"Well I guess we figured out how to work them," Sirius said faintly.

However, in the din of the two Death Eater's shouting at each other, not a word was heard from either of them, and then they vanished without a trace.

"Wonder if you even could repair that," Remus muttered, though honestly thinking not, these were such heavily magical objects he couldn't even begin to guess at, they seemed beyond such normal means of fixing as that charm. It would not at all surprise him if in fact those were now gone forever.

This gave Harry an idea, so that when Malfoy turned his attention back to Harry, he began again why this prophecy was so important, while moving as slowly as possible to find someone's foot with his own.

Malfoy told him to stop playing around, and Harry insisted he wasn't just as he found Hermione's toes, as a sharp gasp informed him.

Malfoy sneered that Dumbledore had never told Potter the reason he bore his scar was hidden in the bowels of the Department of Mysteries?

James' mouth opened with some new disturbing noise making an appearance, and he'd thought he was all out of those. They'd all known Dumbledore was holding back answers from Harry, he'd said so himself at the end of his first year. So this was somehow the most insulting thing Malfoy could have said, that he knew more about Harry than them!

Harry was so distracted by this, he at first forgot his plan as he demanded of Malfoy what of his scar?

Hermione insisted on keeping his attention though, and while Malfoy laughed in surprised delight, Harry hardly breathed the words smash shelves.

"That'll cause plenty of distraction," Remus said, so distracted himself they were right on the edge of that answer it had almost for a moment made him forget who was giving it.

Malfoy stated this explained why Potter hadn't come for this himself now, the Dark Lord had thought it's mere existence would draw him here.

Harry finished whispering to Hermione to wait for his signal and pass it along before quickly engaging Malfoy to keep his attention why he had to be the one to come get it, why not himself?

Malfoy looked incredulously delighted as he stated only those whom prophecies were about could retrieve them, something the Dark Lord had learned by trying to use others already.

Lily could feel it, the swills at the edge of her mind as an explanation for the madness of this year lay somewhere in there, if only she could think past her own harsh breaths for her son still being in this danger.

When asked why they even wanted a prophecy about him, Malfoy corrected about him and the Dark Lord, hadn't Potter ever wondered why Voldemort tried to kill him as a child?

'Every damn day since this started,' James felt the passing thought, honestly wishing now more than ever for that answer if it would somehow stop all this from happening...

Harry gazed at the slitted eye holes with something he'd never felt before, his hand tightening around the glass spun ball harder than ever, were those answers really in the palm of his hand?

James couldn't help but look to Harry desperately in that moment, like he was hoping his son would suddenly start telling them what had been inside, that all of this really hadn't been one humongous heart attack with nothing to show for it.

Harry was having a hard time looking at him though, he only felt like he was a burden of a reminder to them now more than ever. If he hadn't been born, this prophecy wouldn't have been made, they'd still be alive.

Still, as he felt Hermione show more than tell the others his plan, he asked why didn't Voldemort just come get it himself?

Bellatrix found this idea ridiculous, considering the Ministry was too busy chasing after her dear cousin, there was no need to bring to their attention of the Dark Lord's presence.

"Then why's she there?" Sirius spat hatefully, he couldn't believe Bellatrix would bring this up now. "It's no more implausible!" He wasn't going to let anyone insult Harry's intelligence, especially because they'd all been thinking the same thing.

"That is a relatively good question," Remus agreed in disgust, wondering at the planning to all this, how the Death Eaters had managed to infiltrate the Ministry and leave the area so clear for Harry and his friends to come. "Just not important right now Pads."

Sirius grumbled even as he agreed, several curses still flipping through his mind for the start of a fight he wasn't involved in.

Harry now understood this was just dirty work then, like Sturgis and Bode had failed to do.

"It is remarkable how fast you put that together," Lily praised even as she stayed trained on the book, on the answer of how badly this had gone wrong before he'd come here.

Malfoy began to congratulate that at least he wasn't unintelli-

Harry shouted now, and as one all six of them shouted reducto, and all spells managed to hit shelves and bring down the isles around them. Harry seized a handful of the nearest persons robes, dragging them along as he shouted to run while mayhem rained down.

Harry could feel that pulsing adrenaline thudding through him now, how even as his hand wanted to remain fastened tight around his wand he still wanted to grab the nearest person and make a run for it in all the chaos, his hand still around nothing though apparently convinced he was holding that precious spun glass now. It was helping nothing he had no good way to work that out of his system.

At least one Death Eater lunged forward to try and stop them, but Harry elbowed him in the face as Ginny, Ron, and Luna ran past, Harry keeping hold of Hermione who was in turn yelling at Neville to keep up through ever more glass shattering around them.

A hand caught him on the shoulder-

Lily inhaled so sharply it hurt her own throat, but that wouldn't have stopped the curse exploding half the living room if James hadn't kept going on the same breath.

but Hermione shouted Stupefy at the same instant and Harry was released. The other three were no longer in sight, but they turned right and ran ahead to the door they'd entered, blinking and finding themselves back in the time room. Hermione tuned on the spot and shouted Colloportus, and the door made an odd squelching noise as it sealed itself.

"I can't believe they got out of that," Remus sagged against the back of his seat, honestly needing the support as he couldn't make his own limbs stop shaking.

Harry hardly noticed, he was looking wildly around for the others, but Ginny, Ron, and Luna weren't in here as he'd thought.

"No," Harry gasped, the word not nearly enough to cover the terror pumping through him now.

James was honestly seized with that exact same fear for a moment. He had no true connection to the Weasley kids, had only known of Luna's existence because of his son, but he couldn't imagine anything happening to them either without wanting to shed an honest tear. These were just a bunch of kids with Death Eaters hounding them!

"Harry," Sirius said desperately, as his breaths had been coming out in sharp little gasps of pain. "Harry, they're going to be fine, all of them, you trained them!"

Harry looked to him in mostly disbelief, and a little hope. "You think I'm so good a teacher, I taught them enough to get away from Death Eaters!" His voice was very near shouting at the end, wanting Sirius to hear clearly how stupid he was being for this idea.

"They've gotten this far," Sirius reminded, his eyes wide and pleading, "so have you. No need to go hurting yourself if you've got confidence," he tried to actually end with a smile.

Harry still found his godfather insane, but for now he stopped pushing at his memories no matter how hard it was. At least he had Sirius with him now, as some consolation for not knowing his future. He didn't have Ron though, Ginny or Luna in his sights, some claim their lives weren't affected by him except these harrowing memories. He had to trust Sirius though, he had to let his dad keep going, he'd be no good to anyone if he died now simply trying to remember who lived.

Hermione squeaked they must have gone the wrong way, but Neville hissed at them to listen. Not moments later, something heavy slammed against the door, and heard Malfoy's voice telling Nott to leave him, the Dark Lord cared nothing for their injuries if they lost that prophecy.

"Really puts into perspective how much they all care for each other," Lily whispered, still wide eyed with far more fear for this than actual care for one of the monsters who'd caused the problem.

Then Malfoy began organizing them, telling them all to be gentle with Potter until they had that prophecy, but kill whomever else they could.

James's voice hitched for an extra moment. He hadn't been delusional in thinking otherwise, but the words sounded so careless he couldn't believe he'd let them pass his lips!

Bellatrix, Rodolphus, were to go left;

"So, go anywhere but left," Sirius hissed, still refusing to think of Harry anywhere near those two in particular.

Crabbe and Rabastan were to go right, Jugson and Dolohov straight go around, Macnair and Avery through this door here, Rookwood that way, and Mulciber was to come with him.

"So we now have a definite amount," Remus muttered, keeping a head count. "I doubt any are still hiding Malfoy doesn't know about."

"Eleven," James agreed, "where's Goyle?"

"Probably the one Nott was trying to rouse, likely knocked out," Lily murmured.

"Lets just hope he hasn't gone for backup," Sirius said dangerously, none of them able to quite grasp the emotion of relief one in particular wasn't there, they wouldn't know how to handle that feeling right now.

Hermione was trembling from head to foot as she asked what were they to do?

Hermione's question felt like a wet blanket smothering them all. They all wanted to scream what the right thing to do was, but that was impossible, there was no right answer here. They weren't there for Harry, all they could do was listen to what had been done.

Harry said first of all they weren't going to just stand around.

"Good a start as any," Remus muttered.

Harry made to go back to the door he was sure would lead back to the black anti-room, but then from behind the two Death Eater's continued trying to knock down the door. One had the idea to use the Alohomora charm, and the three only just had time to duck under some desks.

One Death Eater suggested they'd already run through this room, but the other said they were still to check under the desks.

Lily worried heavily at her lip, still trying to envision what the right move was, to run or ambush. As of now, they outnumbered the Death Eaters, so this was likely the best strategy, but it was all the more frustrating she couldn't offer the advice, she'd never felt more useless just sitting here and knowing it had already happened.

Harry watched the boots coming closer, ducking down under each desk, and waited until one was right in front of him before shouting Stupefy.

The red light had him falling backwards right towards the grandfather clock and knocking it over.

"That won't keep him down long, be sure you at least take his wand away before you keep going," Sirius couldn't help but caution, thinking the Order had better show up soon!

The second was turning towards Harry, but saw Hermione scrambling out from under her's first and began to shout Avada-

James almost couldn't get the spell out, more from shock than anything it was really going so far already, but then Harry was trying to jump to his feet in true alarm and Sirius had to rope his arm around him to keep him in place and hiss in his ear to listen for James to finish to know that didn't happen.

Harry tackled the man to the ground, causing the spell to go awry.

Harry could still hardly breathe for a moment, still fighting back the impulse to do the same in here with nothing to show for it, he was going to drive himself mad and was half tempted to ask someone to take his wand away in fear he'd curse one of them by mistake if this kept up!

None of the others seemed worried of this fact, Sirius loosened his hold on Harry even as they all still felt the same urge they were having to beat back. None of them had ever sat idle in a fight and this felt near as bad as doing just that.

Neville overturned his desk in his anxiety to help, and shouted Expelliarmus at the struggling two.

"That'll do some good!" Remus yelped, though he'd jerked hard in surprise of that spell coming out, not recommended as it would send both targets wands flying! He just couldn't find it in him to scold Neville either, at least he was still reacting and thinking on his feet.

Both wands went flying, and both wizards scrambled after them. Neville, horror struck at what he'd done, came forward and tried to repair his mistake telling Harry to get out of the way. Harry dodged to the side as Neville shouted stupefy.

James made a noise of approval even while he couldn't stop again, to know who got there first, at least Neville was correcting his mistake, he'd learn his way around a fight yet even if he'd still wish the poor kid never to be in one like this anymore than his own child.

The spell collided above rather than on the Death Eater, knocking over a glass-fronted cabinet and spilling it all forward, everything flying around and giving the Death Eater time to grab his wand.

His mask had slipped sideways during his and Harry's struggle so he couldn't see,

"A use for those I never thought of," Sirius spared the breath for Harry even as his every attention was still trained more on his past than his present.

and he ripped that free before beginning to shout stu-

Hermione got there first, her jet of red light catching him dead center.

"I'd have let Neville have another go," Remus said with disdain even as he was finally thankful Hermione was there as well.

"Which Death Eater was that?" James barked at Harry, hoping his son would recognize the scum that had actually tried to kill Hermione.

"Best guess, Crabbe, err, senior," Harry admitted, not having recognized him exactly, but the facial similarities had been there, though he had a distinct feeling they wouldn't remain for long...

He fell back suspended in his own body towards the bell jar, his wand falling as well back among the mess.

Sirius realized his advice before hadn't crossed Harry's mind either time, and it was something very twisted to him this was the first real scrum Harry had been in regarding the war, and he had no foreseeable backup!

Harry expected him to simply thunk against the glass and slide down, but instead his head went right through as if there were nothing in the way, everything above his shoulders now mixed in with the glittering wind.

"Err," Lily said without a touch of concern but some honest confusion.

"I could have said don't stick your face in that, but I guess he wasn't going to hear," Sirius said as he eyed that curiously.

"Don't care," James muttered, thinking whatever magic was in there could do whatever it pleased to that Death Eater and continuing more loudly still.

Hermione summoned Harry's wand and handed it back to him, but before they could do anything else Neville shouted a warning cry still staring at the bell jar.

"The stunner wouldn't have worn off that fast," Remus yelped.

"Who knows what kind of magic is in that thing, maybe it negated it," Sirius muttered uneasily.

Except the Death Eater was not rearing up for another attack, instead his head was deaging. His hair was retracting into him, his face smoothing out and while leaving the rest of his bodies proportions untouched, soon there was a tiny baby head in place.

"Oh, my, word." Lily managed to say as she sat back in her seat, just the thought of this happening to someone had her wanting to back away in surprise.

"There's karma somewhere in there," James muttered as he furiously flipped the page, his intrigue more than smothered by still wanting to haul his son out of there rather than investigating this thing.

Like the chicken before, even as they watched it began again, his head starting to grow back correctly, but as he tried to sit up and shake off the effects it started up again just as fast.

They were distracted from watching the progress by a crash in an adjacent room, and Harry at once shouted for his three missing friends.

The Death Eater managed to get his head free of the jar then, but his appearance was left bizarre, a bawling babies head atop the thick man body. His fists were waving about without intent, and Harry ducked to avoid a blow.

James was finding it harder and harder to brush past something so utterly disturbing to him, though he wasn't sure if he'd find it in himself to stick the Death Eater's head back in to repair it before knocking him out more effectively...

Harry raised his wand at the stumbling form, but Hermione seized him and told him he couldn't curse a baby.

"I, don't-" That was all Remus could get out. Somewhere in there was a fascinating turn of conversation, but honestly too much else was going on for him to get into it. James still had a twisted look on his face even as he kept going, maybe he could bring it up later with Harry.

Harry didn't argue, there were footsteps headed towards them, and Harry realized to late he should not have shouted and given away their position.

Harry was vaguely surprised no one had blamed him for that in here, but honestly it seemed because they would have done the same. Despite his own internal warning, nothing could stop someone for shouting now in all this mayhem.

Deciding to leave the baby-headed Death Eater for now,

Sirius still had his mouth half open, the urge to question how on earth that was a functioning moving thing still present, but James just didn't want to hear it from any of them. All he was really thinking was, two down.

they tried to hurry away, but two more Death Eaters were already coming in the door behind them, and instead they ducked into the nearest door holding what appeared to be nothing more than a cluttered office and slammed the door.

Hermione tried to use the colloportus spell again, but the door was thrown back before she had a chance and with a cry of triumph, both Death Eaters shouted Impedimenta.

Lily cursed heavily, knowing both of those using the spell at once would do far more damage than just temporarily slowing her child.

All three of them were thrown heavily off their feet, Neville flipping right over a desk, Hermione smashing into a bookcase which tipped all of its contents right over on her,

Sirius still had it somewhere in him to note irony in that even if he had no ability to laugh at it.

and Harry fell back into the stone wall with little lights bursting into his eyes, leaving him dizzy.

"Those idiots, they could have smashed the prophecy," Remus sneered through his own mounting worry they were going to make Harry lose his only advantage.

"Priorities Moony," Sirius grumbled, clearly misunderstanding, "I want to hear that too, but let's focus on Harry getting out first."

Remus didn't bother to correct his point.

One yelled for all to hear they'd caught them, but Hermione gathered herself first and shouted Silencio at him. The second Death Eater pushed him aside, but he could do no more before Harry shouted Petrificus Totalus at him and he fell back stiff as a board.

The first Death Eater wasn't done. Though still struck dumb, he made a slashing movement at Hermione, and a streak of purple flame went right through her chest.

Sirius choked, his arm fell fully away in surprise-

Hermione gave an oh of surprise before she crumpled to the floor.

"Cultrohexia-" Remus tried to begin explaining, recognizing that look on Harry's face and hoping to stop him panicking for just one second she wasn't dead, but too late.

"No!" Harry tore from his seat, but instead of their fears, he fled to the kitchen. They found him trying not to apprate, but kicking furiously at the table as he glared with fury up at the ceiling.

"Harry-"

"I have to go back!" Harry roared, not looking at any of them. "I can't, they can't- I have to get back there!"

"Harry listen to yourself!" Lily insisted as she tried darting around in front of him, but she may as well not have been there. "This happened to you when you were fifteen, you're older now, whatever happened you can't help them with that now-"

"Something was happening to them right- argh!"

"Harry! Oh, Harry-" Lily pleaded, kneeling down with him as he began sinking to the floor, holding his head again.

"We can't keep doing this," James said as he watched him curling into himself in pain while kneeling down on his other side and glaring at the book hatefully for causing all this. They never should have started these things, there had to be an easier way for Harry to regain his memories. "He's going to kill himself trying to remember what happened to them-"

"Then we'll stop him," Sirius snapped, striding over to get the potion and force him to relax again.

"Sirius."

The high note, pleading voice forced him to hesitate and glance back at him for a second.

The only thing stopping the thick fog from clearing Harry's mind and leaving the rest of his body in a state of pain that wasn't bearable, was somehow still his godfather. He still wanted more than anything the assurance his friends had survived this day, but Sirius was still here with him now, and no matter how much Harry had been pretending otherwise, there was something more pressing than memories he couldn't grasp. This was ridiculous, Sirius wasn't even there, how could he still be more worried about his godfather at this time? It wouldn't shake off though, clinging like a shield he'd had no intentions of putting up. One memory at a time, he had to know what happened to him first.

He couldn't breathe, this made no sense, so the instant Sirius was at his side with the vial, he took it gratefully, clinging to the numbness it brought even if it only lasted a few moments before he was brought back to his surroundings and forced to realize what he was doing to those around him.

"I'm sorry, I wish there was more we could do for you back then," Lily told him as she watched his green eyes flit back to any semblance of normal remembering all this could allow.

'Or, anything!' James mentally yelled, but kept that one to himself. Instead he helped him back to his feet, and it worried them all greatly Harry was still shaking. He wasn't finding any relief in here, with them, like he had when Voldemort had returned. As if his subconscious was still warning him there would be no relief, no savoir from his parents.

It did them no good to try anything else though but to keep going no matter how much they'd rather do anything else, at this point they knew they couldn't have stopped. They needed to know Hermione was okay just as much as Harry. For all of her, annoyances, she was Harry's friend as much as Sirius was theirs. They couldn't imagine anything happening to her now anymore than their own kid, it should have been to dismal for even this future to handle.

Harry fell to his knees beside her, screaming her name as Neville crawled out from behind his desk to see. The Death Eater kicked out at him, breaking his wand and connecting with his foot with the same blow and Neville backed out of sight again with a howl of pain.

Lily covered half of her face to smother her gasp of surprise, all to easily picturing that happening to Alice even more than Neville and the poor mothers reaction.

Harry twisted around and saw the Death Eater ripping off his mask, and Harry recognized him as Antonin Dolohov, the man who'd killed the Prewetts.

Harry let out a snarl of outrage, even as he kept tight to Sirius' side he couldn't help but glance uneasily around the room, that feeling like hot lava warning theirs would not be the only death the man was responsible for. 'Please, let it not be Hermione's!' He pleaded with everything he could.

Still keeping his wand trained on Harry now, he pointed at the prophecy, then himself, then Hermione, the meaning couldn't have been more plane.

"Oh good, Harry understands silent language far better than Sirius ever did," Remus babbled uneasily.

Harry snapped he'd be dead the moment he did so! He was all white panic, clinging to Hermione's shoulder which was still warm, so she wasn't dead yet! His voice mentally pleaded with her not to be dead, it would be his fault if she was!

"No, it's not!" Remus snapped. He hated watching Harry blame himself for these things, likely because he had too much practice with this himself if anything remotely went wrong around him. "That's a bloody dangerous spell, pure dark magic that'll leave your innards like they were plunged with a knife, but the spell doesn't leave any mark. If he hadn't been silenced, it would have been even more dangerous, but since it's a verbal only spell, half the damage was done. So long as she gets treated, she'll be fine!"

"And if she doesn't get help in time?" Harry whispered.

Remus had no answer, he didn't want to tell Harry that even the verbal spell wasn't instantaneous death because it left one slowly dying on the inside even as they were able to move around for a few minutes more while the spell took affect. Instead, he only said what they were all hoping, "she will."

Harry breathed slowly as he heard that, willing that feeling to be true more than just a simple hope.

Neville rose to his feet, broken wand in hand with blood pouring down his face as he shouted at Harry 'don'd gib it to him!'

James's face puckered in agitation for trying to talk like that, and under normal circumstances he would have reveled in plugging his nose, trying to mimic this as best he could. He'd hope it would go on long enough Sirius would try his hand at it, and the two could see who could mimic this speech the best. Now all he could think was, one against eight, considering he still had no clue where the last three kids were.

Neville tried to shoot a spell, but nothing was happening from his broken wand. Then there was a crash behind them as the baby-headed Death Eater came stumbling in, his wails still echoing all around, and Harry took Dolohov's distraction in watching to shout Petrificus Totalus. The spell hit, he toppled face forward unable to move an inch.

Seven, James mentally corrected, though the slowly dwindling number wasn't helping anyone to breathe any easier, they were all keeping the same count and even against one the numbers would never feel bearable no matter how good Harry was. He was only using the minimum spells of defense, there was no more force to this than he'd be using against a DA member, and that was going to bite him in the arse later when these spells simply wore off...

Harry at once turned attention back to Hermione, trying to get her to wake up, until Neville crawled forward and told him he could feel a pulse, he was sure of it, through his broken nose.

James felt his limbs go weak, actually closing his eyes for a moment for the simple thanks he felt for that!

Harry asked if he was sure, and Neville said he thought so.

Not remotely the most reassuring answer Neville could have given, but Harry finally stopped the feeling he was going to keel over himself as the image repainted before his eyes, her eyes closed almost peacefully, but he just couldn't tell if it was sleep or...

There was a pause as Harry listened for anymore noise, but all they could hear was the blunderings of the still standing baby-headed Death Eater crashing around.

"That's a thing now," Lily shook her head, not even remotely distracted from the real matter of what her son was living through.

Harry turned to Neville and asked if he could make his way out with Hermione, try to find help, but Neville refused, saying he was staying with Harry until they found everyone. Harry tried to protest, but Neville picked up Hermione's wand and said he'd carry her.

"No," Remus couldn't help but protest no matter how much he admired Neville for this. "He really should take off with her, he's only another target now following behind like that!"

"What if he does run into more Death Eater's though, then he won't have any way to defend himself, he needs to stick close to Harry," Sirius disagreed.

There was just no point in predicting the future, certainly no one ever would have seen this coming, so both mutually decided not to let the argument continue.

Harry only hesitated a moment before helping to lift Hermione over his shoulder and the two began to leave. Neville gave the broken remnants of his wand one look as he passed, whispering his Gran was going to kill him, that was his dad's old wand.

James made such a small little noise he wasn't even aware he had anymore than the others. He couldn't help it though, his mind immediately launched off with the idea, of what had happened to his wand, and Lily's, had Remus or Sirius ever come across them and still had them after all these years? He still had his parents wands stored in his Gringotts vault, mementos of them Harry still never had from his own!

Lily shook her head slowly for this though, whispering, "I'm positive the woman will just be more thankful her only grandchild's alive." She knew she could never give enough thanks for that hearing all he'd done without her in his life.

Harry cautiously stuck his head back into the Time room, watching the baby-head Death Eater still destroying the room while screaming,

"Please stop mentioning that, it gets more disturbing the longer I think about it," Remus huffed, though honestly he just wanted all of this to stop being mentioned already. After the year Harry had there, he couldn't believe he'd still rather hear of him back at Hogwarts.

while the glass-fronted cabinet that Harry now suspected had contained Time-Turners continued to fall, shatter and repair itself on the wall behind them.

"Err," Sirius muttered, his brows shooting up in shock.

"Wonder what on earth magic could be used to fix that," James agreed with surprise.

No one else in sight though, they finally made it to the dark anti-room where the door swung shut behind them and once again the whirl of doors started, except now when they stopped Hermione's x's had faded.

Harry began to ask which they should choose, but before they could make a decision, one on their right sprang open and three people fell out.

Lily felt a scream building up in her own throat. Despite having just soothed Harry from doing this, she was finding it harder every second not to be wailing her own head off with worry for all of this happening.

Harry at once darted to the Weasley siblings in relief, asking if they were alright.

"Oh bloody thank goodness," James moaned, feeling finally something had gone right, though he kept reading with heavy worry Luna hadn't been mentioned!

Ron seized him while giggling, lurching forward as he did so with his eyes unfocused.

"What's wrong with Ron?" Sirius hissed, feeling as territorial of all these kids at this point as if they were all his pup.

Even while giggling, his face was extremely white, and something dark was leaking out the side of his mouth. Then his knees gave out, and still holding onto Harry, he pulled him into a kind of half bow as he fell to the floor.

"What did they do to him?" Lily demanded venomously, her wand still griped furiously in her hand and aching to turn that on someone any moment for hurting these kids!

He tried to ask Ginny what had happened, but she was just as pale as she slid down to the floor, though she was holding her ankle in silent pain.

"Ginny," Harry whispered, leaning forward in concern like he was trying to catch her before she fell. He couldn't believe this was happening around him, the panic was gripping him so tight he couldn't breathe!

Luna, who alone seemed unscathed, said she thought Ginny's ankle had been broken,

"Oh thank Merlin!" James breathed, not having meant to say Luna's name extra loud but now at least they were all alive, and could get out of there!

four of them had chased them into some room full of planets-

Ron interrupted with a feeble snicker that they'd seen Uranus up close!

"A joke's never as funny the second time," Remus said flatly, trying to give Sirius an obvious look, but both were too worried about the state Ron was in to pay attention to even their own picking.

Then a bubble of blood came out the side of his mouth.

Harry hadn't thought it possible, but he was somehow all the more worried no one around him was trying to comfort him this was going to be okay anymore. No one had a suggestion what was wrong with Ron, or that the exit could be right behind them now that all six were together.

Luna kept talking Ginny had used the Reductor curse on Pluto right in a Death Eater's face,

"Hope it killed him," Lily spluttered in surprise for using that spell in anyone's face, but she wouldn't deny the effectiveness of anything right now.

but one had grabbed her ankle and she'd heard a snap, finishing with a hopeless wave at Ginny who was breathing shallowly.

Harry asked fearfully for Ron's status, who was still hanging from Harry's front.

It didn't feel possible, as James kept ushering out words practically faster than the others could follow, that it really was just Harry and Luna in able fighting condition against seven Death Eaters! Now their worry for Ron and Hermione were still rival, maybe even a little more than Harry as they could at least look at him and know he was alive and fine!

Luna didn't know, she'd never heard the curse used on him, but he was acting funny and she'd barely gotten him along.

Harry had heard all he needed. He asked Luna to help Ginny along, and though the blonde ducked down to assist,

Remus tried to breathe easier for just a second, trying to console himself Ginny could still fight even if she'd be far more off balance, this wasn't impossible to get out of.

Ginny snapped she could do it herself and pushed herself up the wall, though immediately collapsed again and had to hold Luna for support.

"Now's not the time to be proud," Lily snapped, wanting to shove the Gryffindor streak up Ginny's nose and get those kids moving no matter how much she may have acted the same.

Harry pulled Ron's arm over his shoulder just as, so many months ago, he had pulled Dudley's.

James could hardly think of anything else right now, let alone something like a dementor attack which would feel like a walk in the park after this nightmare, at least Harry could get himself out of that no problem, this still felt more like he was reading about someone's funeral any second. Yet at the same time, he understood it, found how much more precious and dangerous this was to Harry. He may feel it for a time if something had happened to Dudley, but now, Ron was the first family he'd had, he could not lose him any more than Sirius.

Then he looked desperately at the dozen of doors for the way out, but without taking a step three Death Eaters came pouring out of the door across from them led by Bellatrix Lestrange.

Sirius made a series of thunderous growling noises that kept starting and stopping, clearly his terror kept trying to break off how much he wanted to take her head off with or without a wand.

She shrieked what they'd found, back Harry backed his group into the nearest door and shouted colloportus.

A smash meant he'd done it in time, but then a man's voice shouted it didn't matter, there were other ways in.

James could feel his breaths stuttering out in sharp gasps, 'they're pinned down, they don't have a chance to run anymore-' his mind all to happily informed him.

'Shut up,' he fought hard not to shout out loud.

Harry began darting around to all available doors and repeating the spell, encouraging Luna to help, but they only made it half way through when she filled the room with a cry of pain.

James couldn't quite scream that as he could all to easily envision Luna, his voice was getting quieter the more this somehow continued to grow worse, fighting back the urge to vomit again the more his vision blurred from worry and still pushing past just to keep going.

Harry turned to see her smashing through a desk and colliding with a wall head first.

Bellatrix came sprinting in, shouting at all of them to get Potter. Harry tried to run out of the room, the prophecy held high over his head, his only thought to keep them away from the others.

Remus hated that was by all technicalities a good plan, Harry being the target because they could look at him and know he was okay, but putting himself in danger like that could never not stop all the air around him, and it's not like he knew that at the time so Harry was still going to hear about this later!

He found himself in the brain room, and Ron came tottering up to his side, still drunkenly laughing about how there were brains in here, and then he summoned one to him.

Lily made a squealing noise that was as much disgust as it was concern for this. "Luna didn't take away his wand!"

James ignored her no matter how much he agreed.

The scene seemed momentarily frozen. Harry, Ginny and Neville and each of the Death Eaters turned in spite of themselves,

"Yes, do please keep being idiots," Remus muttered, his own eyes feeling swollen from widening too much recently.

to watch a brain burst from the green liquid and come shooting right at Ron, ribbons appearing all around it to wrap around Ron who at first kept laughing, as Harry shouted at him to move while darting towards him.

James didn't need to ask why Harry had involuntarily shouted the same thing in here, why he was vibrating all over again in fear for his brother as much as he had been for his sister moments ago. They could all just feel it, this was not going to be a good thing.

Harry didn't know what would happen when that touched Ron, but he didn't want to find out, and didn't get the choice. The brain wrapped all along his forearm with the nasty dripping vines,

Harry tried to dart forward again, to tear the book away because his father wasn't going fast enough and he had to know right now what that thing was doing to Ron, but Sirius intervened faster this time. He caught Harry around the chest and held him fast, fearing if Harry stopped listening and tried to do this himself he'd hurt himself irreparably.

James had hardly hesitated upon Harry's movement, too involved in this himself.

and Ron at once began screaming in pain for it to stop. Harry tried to cut it away with the Diffendo spell, but it had no affect, and the tentacles kept spiraling farther up Ron's arm.

Ginny screamed that would suffocate him, but a stunner caught her in the chest and she fell to the floor unconscious.

Harry made a desperate noise, still struggling to get away from Sirius, but to where even he didn't know. It was too much, it all felt like a nightmare that wasn't ending, and still the worst hadn't happened, he could feel how hot his face was and how painful everything in him burned saying something terrible was going to happen, something that wasn't going to be just a spell.

Neville tried, waving his wand around and shouting stuebfy, but nothing happened.

Remus had never actually wanted to know what would happen if you try to use a stunning spell without pronouncing it correctly!

One of the Death Eaters tried stunning him, but Neville ducked by inches. Now it was only the two of them, against the five Death Eaters. One tried shooting a white blast at Harry that instead left a crater behind him when he ducked.

"Gah, how is that helping them not break the thing!" Sirius was feeling so incoherent he wasn't even sure if that was spoken in English.

Harry ran for it. His only thought in mind to get these Death Eaters away from his friends, he only hoped Neville would stay behind and help Ron as he finally darted out of the room with the prophecy clearly in sight and only held slight relief he could hear them all chasing him. Then his feet weren't below him anymore.

He was crashing down, hitting every steep stone step until he found himself sprawled below the dais in the stone arch room.

Harry placed his hand on his abused rib cage, still feeling the echo of that pain as it was vividly reminded to him, but that was nothing in comparison to the torment just behind his eyes. He had known from the moment he'd first been in this room it would not mean anything good for him, now he was standing more alone than ever. That should have been a good thing, there was no one in there to get hurt but him.

Hearing approach, he at once got to his feet and backed up so that he was now standing right in front of the veil as the Death Eaters circled below him, one bleeding rather badly, and Harry saw Dolohov had been freed of his Body-Bind Curse.

Lily bit back yet more curses for the fact they just had to be right about that, and yet she still found it in her to plead it wasn't important for Harry to learn a lesson there, she was hardly holding herself together listening to this, afterwards the worst thing she could stand to hear of him in again was Crookshanks attacking him.

Malfoy stepped forward, pulling off his mask to speak to Harry's face this race was done, now be a good boy and hand over that prophecy.

"Whoever said he wanted to be a good boy?" Sirius said distractedly, though James felt himself breathe easier just for a second at Sirius still managing to say his stupid jokes even in the face of all that. It was just a little easier picturing Sirius saying that to Lucius than ten wands pointed on his lone child.

Harry desperately bargained to let the others ago and he'd do just that.

Lucius just laughed, telling him he was not in the position to be making demands being surrounded as he was and all alone.

From above came the shout he wasn't alone!

Neville came racing down the steps from the brain room, still trying to use Hermione's wand to stun someone.

"I mean, credit to the kid, but I'm about to knock his lights out for not doing the smart thing and staying where he's useful! Ron needed him more than Harry did!" Remus half shouted half whispered, the unbearable scenario going through his head the Order had long since vanished and wouldn't realize something was wrong until it was too late...

Harry couldn't really be mad though, he was as touched as he was worried now, though he wouldn't have believed that possible moments ago.

Harry tried to shout at him to go back, but he was caught before he could do any such thing. Several Death Eaters laughed as he struggled to get away, Malfoy jeering at least Longbottom's grandmother would not find his death a shock, she was used to losing family to their cause.

It didn't feel real, James saying that with such anger he well could have murdered someone on the spot, but at the same time speaking as if about Neville. Sometimes Lily still couldn't believe there was anyone out there who would really do something like this no matter how many times she'd seen evidence herself of it happening.

Bellatrix perked up at his last name, mentioning she'd had the pleasure of meeting his parents.

"How dare she mock him for that!" Lily said, fury nearly beyond the words.

Neville shouted back he was aware, and then Bellatrix used Crucio on him.

James whispered, feeling as close to tears as if that were Sirius again, or Harry, or anyone he cared about. He could see Alice and Franks face, know their pain as one who'd been forced to hear his own child through that torment, and it killed something inside of him to force this upon yet another, to even hear about this!

Malfoy told Potter he'd let her continue until he gave up that prophecy, and despite Neville shouting at him not to, Harry made to step forward to do just that when another door swung open, and Kingsley, Tonks, Moody, Lupin, and Sirius came charging in.***

James only felt an instant of relief before Harry started screaming anew.

"No!" Harry hissed, his eyes burning with something they'd only seen once before. "No, no, no! Sirius isn't supposed to be there, he was only there because I was!"

Remus felt such a wave of vertigo he nearly fell right over. He couldn't help it, he remembered Harry screaming those exact words days ago when he'd thought Sirius was going to be Kissed.

Now, there was no Patronus charm to save him, only a luck and skill that would be tarnished after what he'd been through...

"Don't be stupid Harry," Sirius scoffed at such a reaction. "I can take care of myself just fine, did you really think I'd sit back if even for a second I heard what you'd gotten yourself up to!"

"But-"

"No," Sirius snapped with just as much force as Harry just had. "Don't want to hear it! You went out there for me, now I'm doing the same for you, you don't get to tell me what's right or wrong about that under any circumstances."

Harry could feel it, that hot burn telling him Hermione was right, he should have listened to her, because something unforgivable was going to happen now!

James, honestly agreed with Harry. They still didn't even know how Sirius was, how much damage Voldemort had done to him before he'd gotten away, now he was barreling right back into a fight! The idiot was going to get himself killed, as if they hadn't feared that enough recently! Yet at the same time he'd never been more grateful to his brother, he certainly understood why he was doing it for the exact same reason he would right now.

Distracted at once by the Orders arrival, Neville managed to get himself away and Harry ducked down beside him as duels erupted all around them. Harry asked how Ron was, and Neville only said he was still fighting that brain thing when he'd left.

"That's not remotely a helpful answer," Lily said faintly, far more concerned with that lot than her boys who she was well aware could take care of themselves. She could still picture Ron suffocating by the time Harry got back to him, Hermione dying from internal bleeding, who knew if something worse was happening to Ginny and Luna while no one was looking out for them!

The stone floor gained a crater inches beside them, chunks flying everywhere, and before either could duck away from more, an arm seized Harry by the throat and demanded the prophecy from him.

Through watering eyes Harry watched Sirius dueling with a Death Eater ten feet away, their wands not even visible from the speed of their spells,

James tried to find some comfort in that even as he shifted anxiously a bit more. Sirius was up and fighting, his ordeal with Voldemort hadn't seemed to leave any lasting harm if he was already dueling with the skill James knew so well, but perhaps he still would have been better suited to be getting Harry out of there! Then again, he probably wouldn't have even recognized Sirius if he heard he was trying to avoid a fight for even a second.

Kingsley was fighting two at once; Tonks, still halfway up the tiered seats, was firing spells down at Bellatrix - none seemed to realize Harry was slowly dying.

James nearly ripped the page out in frustration, this was so much worse than if he could have just been seeing this! He didn't understand why Harry hadn't mentioned Remus just now! It was of course possible he was just behind somewhere Harry couldn't see, but James was convinced he wasn't going to breathe again until he could finally leave this place altogether!

So Neville lunged forward and shoved Hermione's wand through the eye hole.

"There's thinking on your feet!" Remus said faintly.

Harry was released, and whirled around to use stupefy.

The Death Eater had only the time to remove his face and be recognized as Macnair with one eye swollen shut before he fell over.

"Hope he has to have that bloody removed," Sirius got out through gritted teeth, honestly wishing some things couldn't be magically fixed right now.

Harry thanked Neville as he kept watching Sirius still in the heat of his fight,

Sirius nodded in approval, still shifting restlessly as hearing it wasn't fighting off the urge he needed to be doing that now, but at least it seemed to put his friends at ease for a moment, hearing him still on his feet and dueling made it clear he wasn't irreparably injured from his ordeal.

then Harry's foot slipped and he nearly crashed to the ground from slipping on Moody's magical eye.

Lily did scream then, she couldn't help it. There weren't words anymore, only curses she couldn't hope to use, and pent up emotion she needed some way to vent.

Its owner was lying on his side, bleeding from the head,

James couldn't blame his wife, he was fighting off the urge to scream all this as well though it kept coming out more as a whisper. Not Moody! If he was already down, how well was that supposed to spell out for the others, now both of his brothers and his son were all in there!

and the one who'd done it, Dolohov, turned his attention on the two boys and shouted Tarantellgra.

Neville at once fell over, his feet doing a frenzied, uncontrolled movement.

Remus managed to find that a curse and a blessing, at least they were still only trying to immobilize the kids, he'd feared now that the Order had arrived they'd be trying more than ever to get that way from Harry by any means!

He turned on Harry and began the same slashing movement he'd used on Hermione,

James's heart stopped, it took every last drop of his willpower and forcing himself not to hear the other's cry of shock as he told;

but Harry was one second faster and managed Protego before the bright flame went for his face. He felt as if a blunt knife knocked him off his feet and he was thrown across Neville's jerking legs, but his Shield Charm had fielded the worst effects.

Harry wanted to breathe easier, now that he knew the spell could be blocked by something like a shield charm he felt Hermione's chances for survival went up, though he kept brushing his fingers against his face where he was sure he'd just escaped death again.

Dolohov instead tried to summon the prophecy to him, but then Sirius was there, ramming his shoulder into the Death Eater and knocking him off even as he kept his own duel up.

Lily was fighting back so many impulses in these moments, to cling her child to her, both his infant self and the adult, she wanted them both under her arms where she could secure their future right now. To stop James from continuing while also taking that and finishing this herself. To send a stream of curses and constantly reminding herself it would do no good. Now she wanted Remus and Sirius right behind her! She didn't care how good a fighters they were, there was no telling what condition both were in, and neither would consider themselves when jumping in front of those spells for those kids.

Dolohov tried to turn on Sirius's now unprotected back, bringing his wand up for the slashing spell another time,

"He really needs to stop with that!" Sirius snarled in disgust, his not so subtle rumbling growls growing louder every second as he wanted to rip this one's whole arm off for continuously trying to use that on his loved ones, even if he had no regrets taking this instead of Harry.

Harry was still faster though, using Petrificus Totalus on him again, and again the man's limbs all snapped together and he fell to the floor at the same time Sirius finally took his own down with a stunner.

Sirius turned to Harry, sparing the moment to congratulate him before telling him to- they both ducked at a green light passing over Sirius's head.

James couldn't help snarling in outrage, that flash of green suddenly all he could see for a moment, the light in Lily's eyes fading, the same color to take away Sirius by a breath!

Across the room, Tonks was falling limply down the stone steps while Bellatrix was laughing triumphantly.

Harry made a ragged noise as yet more people went down around him, because of him, and he tried to cling even tighter to Sirius now, his grip turning bruising as he held onto his arm.

Sirius only gave him an absent pat, shifting his weight so restlessly Harry could hardly keep a grip on him even as he acted like his life depended on it.

Sirius told Harry to take the prophecy, grab Neville and run while darting forward to meet Bellatrix.

Remus closed his eyes tight, hating to hear the echo of James' final words to his wife in that moment as surely that was just a coincidence, everything was going to be fine! He quickly snapped them back open to focus on Sirius and James, his friends, nothing was going to happen to them now.

Harry didn't see what happened next as Kingsley darted in the way fighting Rookwood, so he turned back to Neville and ducked yet another green blast.

The only thing stopping Lily from vomiting at the image was that it hadn't connected, it never would again, because this time she hadn't been there to stop it, so Harry would be safe from this.

Had Neville though? The Order? It would be an honest miracle if everyone came out of this unscathed...

Harry asked if Neville could stand, but his uncontrollable legs wouldn't allow this, so Harry instead told Neville to put his arm around Harry.

Sirius dislodged Harry from him again by running his hands through his hair frantically, he couldn't believe no one had ever taught Harry 'Finite' or that he was forgetting about the spell right now!

Neville did so, but it did nothing to help them get back up the steps, while out of nowhere someone tackled Harry from behind and jabbed their wand into his back demanding the prophecy from him.

'He's not going to get hurt, nothing happened to him' James kept chanting in his head, the only mantra he could use to make words keep coming out.

Harry recognized Malfoy's voice, so chose to toss the prophecy to Neville instead who only just caught it. While he'd been distracted watching it's progress, Harry turned his wand over his shoulder and shouted Impedimenta, and Malfoy was off of him again. When he turned to see, Sirius and Bellatrix were now on top of the dais dueling.

That wasn't working so well whenever James had to flip focus to one of his friends. Sirius finally got so agitated he jumped to his feet, moving swiftly across the room as if he were in a duel now, his body finally unable to remain immobile while Harry did the opposite. Now that Sirius was out of reach, he froze over, as if he could no longer hear or feel anything around him, he couldn't understand why Sirius had left him right now...

Malfoy had recovered and turned his wand back on Harry, but Lupin jumped between them first.

James couldn't help a pitiful noise of relief for just a moment, Remus hadn't been mentioned since he'd come storming in and in the back of his mind where Sirius and Harry weren't struggling to fight he'd feared something had happened to Moony the moment he'd come in. How soon was it to a full moon, had one just ended? He had no answer for the state he was fighting in anymore than Sirius, but he tried to give his mind an instant of relief Remus may have darted off to check on the other kids before running into this fray.

He shouted over his shoulder for Harry to round up the others and go,

"They're clearly trying!" Lily told him in a 'you're not helping voice!'

Remus looked terrified for a new kind of reason, like Lily was going to curse him next if he didn't do something useful soon.

before engaging Malfoy in a duel, and Harry did try.

He stuffed the prophecy into Neville's robes so they'd both have their arms to try and heave up the steep steps, but they only made it up two with heaving effort when Neville's robes ripped, the little glass ball fell free, and smashed back down below.

James made such a powerful noise his throat actually hurt, but he still didn't stop. He'd care about that later, they'd find some other way to hear that thing, he had to keep his priority and hear of his son out of there first!

Even as they watched a spectral figure floated out, unrecognizable in its astral form, but amidst the curses around them, not a word was heard before it too dissolved.

Sirius stamped his foot so hard in frustration he worried for a moment it was going to sink right through the floor, but it didn't stop his movement. He was thinking the exact same as the others, they'd just have to hunt down this Seer who'd given the prophecy, Merlin he'd go and hunt down his Aunt Misapinoa, speak to anyone in his family again for even the inkling of a clue on where to hear this thing, but that was later. They'd worry about that when Harry was safe again.

Neville began apologizing, but Harry said it didn't matter how, they still had to-

Neville's face suddenly looked transported as he shouted over Harry's shoulder, Dubbledore.

"Oh!" James felt such a head rush he nearly fell over in surprise.

"Thank Merlin, or Dumbledore or-" Remus cut himself off with a near hysterical giggle, their shaking of fright from before now more relieved than anything, those Death Eaters stood no chance now! Here they'd all been worried Voldemort might pop back in any moment, now the opposite had happened!

Their sincerity of everything was going to be okay now was so much, none noticed Harry wasn't joining in. Sirius least of all as he was now jumping around with excitement more than anything he could haul Harry out of there and finally something could go right.

Harry asked what?

"Broken nose or not, there's not a lot of translations for that word," Lily said, still high off her relief that her voice came out as wobbly as if she'd really started crying that everything was going to be okay now.

He turned and saw Dumbledore standing in the doorway, an electric energy seemed to pulse around him, and Harry at once knew they were saved.

Harry didn't feel that now. He searched for it, in the recesses of his memories, but there was no trace of such a powerful feeling except the numbing cold that was sapping everything from him, all his mind could focus on was watching Sirius, moving around with such excitement he looked like he was going to start dancing in here like he had been in such a more deadly situation all those years ago.

With one wave of his wand he seemed to catch all the Death Eater's as if in a giant fishing net, drawing them all tightly yet invisibly bound together, the only two left still fighting were Sirius and Bellatrix up on the dais; Sirius was laughing at her.

"I'm going to kill Dumbledore," Lily said with indulgent exasperation. He should have grabbed Bellatrix first if his goal was simply to round up these Death Eater's, why let Sirius continue goofing off as he clearly was now when he was the one who needed to get out of there the most before anyone else showed up.

He taunted she could do better than that as he ducked a red blast of light.

"Taunts to your last breath, I swear," Remus huffed, scowling lightly at the book and him alternatively. He hadn't personally ever dueled Bellatrix, but she wasn't one to be trifled with no matter how good Sirius was, she'd proved that in the few seconds she'd been around Harry and his friends.

She responded by managing to hit him in the chest with her next, and the laughter hadn't quite died from his face as his eyes widened with shock.

Sirius' expression was mocking that in here, Remus noticed as his head whipped to him so fast there was an uncomfortable snapping noise. Sirius was covering his chest and looking genuinely offended he'd been struck while that pompous smile was still in place.

James only half glanced up at him, his throat still raw and sore from all this frustration he had not the heart for telling his brother what a cocky idiot he was for getting caught. It bothered him most of all Harry hadn't noted what color that flash of light was that hit him, but the first he'd dodged had simply been a stunner, so likely it was just that again.

Harry released Neville and ran forward, watching as it seemed to take Sirius ages to fall backwards through the veil.

James froze, the whole room went still as four pairs of eyes just watched this act take place. It was eerie, Sirius found himself thinking as he went rigid, that animation finally ceasing in him as James kept going with a heavy twitch that Sirius wanted to brush off but couldn't find the words for.

Sirius did not reappear.

James's voice was taking on a rather hard edge, his eyes flat with disbelief. Of course he hadn't, his mind reasoned, he was stunned when he fell into that, someone just had to pull him back out!

Harry shouted for Sirius as he ran for the steps, but then Lupin caught him, holding him back.

Sirius started shaking then, so powerfully his wand fell from his limp fingers and his whole body went an unnatural color from shock. He didn't like that reaction! Why would Remus stop Harry instead of helping him!?

No matter how hard Harry fought to get away, how loudly he shouted, Lupin didn't let go, telling Harry Sirius was gone.

As if in slow motion, Harry's life tumbled from his hands and was left upon the ground while James moved.

For just a second, Harry watched it in real time. Sirius' knees buckled, and he fell back, but in that moment, James was there, catching him before he hit the ground.

"No..."

HPHPHPHP

  * Take that Snape! You weren't the first Death Eater to say that! ...I don't know why I cracked up laughing rereading the series and coming across this line, just thought I'd share the moment so you wouldn't hate me for one second.

** I know I'm calling for a bit of suspension of disbelief here with his Prophecy knowledge, which is rude of me considering I try to make sense of this story and now I'm doing the opposite, so putting this kind of information on Sirius is a bit of a long shot; but I can't help myself, I need some way to explain all this in fic, and Dumbledore does a meh job of it, and Sirius is the only one with any connections that could also claim to even just vaguely know about these things. Take heart I refused to do this for other things like the Horcruxes? Those'll be much more fun to watch them struggle along to understand, but the prophecies just tie back too well with the third book for me to pass up.

***I'll admit it here guys, the movie really had a much more bamf entrance for this. Sirius punching Lucius in the face really is an iconic moment.

[idjitlili]

Heat of the moment

Thorin x reader

As requested on quotev , by a lovely reader, they wanted more thorin so here you are.

Summary: you end up in middle earth , only to fall for the dwarven king.

N/o/p= number of pillows Chips= fries , we British here, plus in lotr Sam calls them chips so that's how it's gonna be. Fries are skinny chips. Word count:2673

It was a day in July , well night you had fell asleep in your bed in your room on your n/o/p ,nice and toasty. You had been dreaming about eating a nice bunch of chips , golden thick potatoes. They tasted like keanu reeves love in a potato. oh how you wish to real live that, but you were roughly awoke by something prickly poking you. "Five more minutes ,mummy /mommy/mama." You groaned as the thing stopped poking you, you felt rough ground stabbing your back as you rolled over.

You felt under you with your left hand to only to feel your mattress sheet not your mattress , and just your fluffy blanket you used in the summer instead of the duvet somethings. You slowly opened your eyes , as the bright light hit your eyes , causing you to groan again rubbing your eyes to make them focus. When you opened them again you were faced with a bunch of short men and an old man and an even shorter man. You look at them wide eye, as hatted dwarf held a stick that poked you they look at you in confusion some held weapons.

"Why are you in my room?!" You had almost shouted , grabbing a pillow holding it up in defence,you looked pretty bad,what you gonna do braid eachothers hair and have a pillow fight. Its only lucky that you had put your new pair of shoes in their box on the other side of your bed ,with socks so you could cherish them. Well be ready for the next day,to wear them inside.Little did you know would be travelling with these short men,due to the wizards say so. "uh,lass this is the forest." the short man with the stick and hat had spoken up causing you to gasp when noticed you were in a forest,and so was your bed,you could ony come up with answer to this mess...

"HElp! I've been kidnapped." you had shouted,remove your blanket pulling on your socks and shoes ,standing up,before you can run the majestic hair dwarf shouts. "circle her lads," and with that a barrier of short men surround you. You stood on your bedding ,luckily in clean shoes ,and your night clothes aka a strappy top,with your favourite tv show characters on it,and the shorts that come with,and yeah they are short. You were exposed by strange men ,and you didnt like that,your bust on show and yours ass if you bent over. Thats what she said.

You picked up your blanket ,placing the pillow down,wrapping it around you ,to cover youself. "what do you want from me?" you had spoke anooyed by the sitution,though the majestic man was quite the looker,if you were honest."your the only that fell out of the sky,what do you want?" A short ginger one had growled ,pissed off."what Gloin is trying to say is that we never touched you ,Dwalin was on watch when you fell ,we do not know how you didnt wake up from the impact." the shoretest man that reminded you very much of John waston from sherlock.

You didnt know what to think of the sitution ,then the man that was apparently a wizard spoke to you and the majestic man privately,saying that he was going to try get you home ,after you admitted you never had heard of Rohan ,or erebor or middle earth,concluding you werent from this world. So basically the wizard you know as now Gandalf is forcing this other dude who is a dwarf , a dwarf! Can you believe it? on this journey to reclaim his home ,he wasnt impressed but soon enough he agreed.

Gandalf had forced the company to stop at a small village :so he could buy you clothes,a tooth brush,cleaning supplies and womanly products,you had thanked him dearly. You now wore ,your small trainers with these legging pants and a tunic plus a coat but it was too hot for that right now,during the day anyways. Then you all were back on the road ,and you would have to share a pony with one of the dwarves,which ended up with you sharing with Thorin's youngest nephew.

It didnt take much for you to lift yourself up on the pony,well actually you just swung your leg up and boom you sat upon it as kili mounts behind you struggling a bit. "damn ,miss y/n those are some long legs." he had smirked from behind ,you felt like he was going to be doing a lot of flirting. "uh yeah ,puberty does that sometimes." you spoke gripping the rains of the pony lightly,as the company began to move.your coat in your new bag on the side of the pony hanging,leaving you in your tunic and pants,kili pushed at against you back,one arm around your waist.

"I would sure love to get lost in them." his grip tightened a little,as fili laughed at his brothers remark,your face screwed up."..uh...how long do dwarves live generally?" you questioned,to anyone in ear range. "around 200-250 years ,lassie." Bofur spoke up behind you ,you hummed in response. "and how old are you kili?" Thorin was listening in on the conversation as the whole company had went silent to hear it too. "77." he was confused at what you were gettingat ,he was a little scared even.

"right so the average human lives for 80 years ,right. So if you was to date or court me ,i'll be dead before you mature." bilbo laughed at you ,with some of the others. "what are you getting at?" he stated his face like pink with embarrassment. "if i was to get with any dwarf ,they would be older."you had smirked thinking of someone in mind,Thorin smiled to himself only Dwalin was able to see,he smirked at him,for Thorin to give him a look which almost told him to drop it. Which he didnt later he would tease him.

Thorin had grew to like you more than a member of his company,in the past couple of weeks ,as did you he was very attractive how could you not. Now you were in Rivendell,in which Elrond had supplied the company with food as he talked to andalf about you.It concluded he had no idea how this could happen and then later they would talk to lady galadriel about it. she didnt have a clue,except galadriel thought there was a reason you were brought to this world and you should carry on with the company.

After that you had been led to your room,which had a bloody bath,oh my you were so glad about. Once you had finish you had wrapped a single towel around your body,going to get dressed ,at this point it was late at night everyone would have been asleep by now.However before you could even dress,your bag was gone,with all your clothes ,and an elf had taken your dirty ones when you had gotten in the bath. You had no clue what to do,you would not go to sleep naked in the elves guest bed,not that they werent clean,youjust never know whos been in there or done what.

You decided the best thing to do was go wondering around until you found someone,just in a towel and your shoes,wet hair sticking to your skin ,making you shiver. Opening the beautiful carved pine door,quietly ,before shutting it behind you walking down the hall. It was more than cold out in the hall,your room had a fire lit by the same elf that took your clothes. In honesty you knew you have to go ask onee of the dwarves if they had a spare tunic or something;but that was an incredibly awkward and emabarrassing.If you went fili he would tell kili and then they would tease you,kili would tell everyone how those legs looked in just his tunic,you didnt want it to happen and you didnt want them laughing at you.

Thorin.

You felt like you could trust him,but you felt like if he saw you like this he would never like you back,and you had developed big feelings for him. Even though you barely spoke,he would check on you regularly not when the others where around,when bathing in the rivers he would stand watch, Apparently just incase you drown ,or the others especially his nephews tried peeking or you got attacked. Some how he would know when you got your period he take your watch ,lay hot stones in your bed ,he even made you tea.Dwalin would grin,knowing his bestfriend deeply cared for the human from another world. Damn Thorin and those thic-

you were so deep in thought you didnt notices a figure walk out thier door as you walked down the hall,causing you crash into them. You had lost grip of the towel ,only for the figure to pull you against them holding the back of the towel up,pulling around your sides. You gasped,scared the figure had seen your breasts,but their actions were so sonic speed they hadnt and you were pressed against their muscular chest. You had looked up to see Thorin ,your eyes had widened,you had taken the sides of the towel wrapping around yourself again ,as Thorin looked away. "I-im so sorry." you had spoken stuttering slightly,looking at the floor,before going to walk away,but Thorin had gripped your arm stopping you. "what are doing out here,y/n,in just a towel." he had asked sternly,he thought you were to no good,if you get me,and he was not impressed.

"uh..well.um I had a bath went to get dressed but my bag was gone,so it turns out they had told me that they were going to gift me stuff..but they  must have used it for my measurements,okay so I dont know.All i do know is I am search of something to wear,Its freezing." you spoke still not sure on your own words,it didnt seem right that the elves would take all your clothes. "stupid bloody elves,just leave you naked to freeze to death.I have some spare clothes if you need them." he hated the elves more that they had taken your belonging ,yet didnt he liked the way your hair fell once wet and the shine on your skin from the now cold water.

You had nodded eagerly ,he hadled you into his room,guiding you to sit down in the chair next to the fire,whilst he got you cllothes.He had came back with only only his dark blue tunic,handing it to you."I'm sorry ,my spare trousers are currents drying since kili decided to jumped on me covering me in mud like a dog." he spoke turning around allowing you to dress quickly infront of the fire,you let out a small giggle. "its fine,you have helped me so much,i would be laughed at if i had ran into anyone else. Doesnt matter what anyone else says you are very nice dude. thank you so much,goodnight." you had hugged him,he stood there a little taken back at your words hugging you back wishing you goodnight as you went back to your room.

He had watched you leave ,he like seeing you in his tunic,which only reached barely your mid thigh. He knew he wouldnt be sleeping soon,he was glad you bumped into him and not anyone else,he already thought you were beautiful from your personality but now you were bodacious.

In the morning your clothes still hadnt turned up,and an elf had knocked informing you for breakfast ,so you had no choice but to try sort your hair and go to breakfast in just a tunic and shoes.You looked like you were really at home and sorta a whore. Not that it was your fault at all. You had walked there crossing your arms looking down ,mulitple gasps were heard as you arrived.You had quickly sat down to the closest open sit which turns out was next to Thorin. "lass where are your clothes?"

"yeah you are practially naked."

"damn those legs bend over for me." kili had smirked saying the second,only to be kicked hard under the table by thorin ,who you sent a smile to him thanking him.

"treat her with some respect,shes not some bloody toy." Thorin had spat angrily at his nephew ,who looked down in embarrassment. "BAHAHAH YOU MUST  BE SO EMBARRASSED." You were tempted to say,pointing at him while laughinghysterically at him,sound like someone? yeah i would show you a picture but he stands to still I cant see him."im sorry ,miss y/n," he spoken sincerely towards you. "itsfine,dont worry about it." you had stated you were embarrassed by the sitution too.

After a few minutes Dwalin decided to break the silence,"lass where are your clothes,seriously?" he asked,he knew that wasnt your shirt.Damn the elves appart from elrond ,and Lindir looked at you in disgust. "uh well,I actually dont know,i got of the bath and then asked couldnt find my bag anywhere." you spoke looking at the fruits that sat infront of you,eating a piece of mellon. "oh miss y/n,i had an extra bag in mine and kili's room,i didnt know where it was from. I'll go get it,it must be yours." and with that fili rushed off to get it fpr you,soon returning passing it to as you place it on the floor. "thank you,fili.2 he had sent you a smile that reminded you deeply of seth rogen ,you couldnt help but picture him as seth rogen if you thought of him,you didnt know why.

And with that everyone was back to eating breakfast;oh what until someone questioned you again. "wait is that uncles tunic?" kili had questioned you ,causing a small blush to apear on your face,you nod going back to eating.Fili and Kili snickered,you looked up glaring at them wanting to know what was so funny. "did you happen to stay with him last night.?" and with that they burst out laughing again ,now with bofur.  "are you still tight about me not wanting you to get lost in my legs?hm" you had spoke annoyed ,causing bilbo to luagh,gandalf smirking at you.kili and fili stopped laughing,kili just blushed again. "nothing did happen,but I would mostly definitly enjoy having him in my legs." and with that you got up ,crouching down to grab your bag before heading to your to your room.

Only for Thorin to run after you,you were about to walk into your room,only to be smashed into the wall,lips pressed roughly against yours,you knew who it was from his beard ,and his strength. Your legs wrapped tightly around his waist,as his hands cupped your bare bottom gently,before taking you into your room. In the end you did get a proper apology from kili and life was swell.

that was until,HEAT OF THE MOMENT 'rise and shine y/n' joking joking.

Turns out your purpose in middle earth was to save Thorin and his nephews,

idk what happened it went pretty shit.

[creampuffqueen]

Deep in the Heart of Texas - Four

a/n: Hey y’all! I am so sorry this took so long to get out! This chapter really fought me for some reason, but I think I finally got it to where I like it, so here it is! Currently I’m on vacation, and sadly, our WiFi went down yesterday and hasn’t come back. So I’m posting this by jumping on my personal hotspot for a second, then getting off. Anyway, I hope y’all enjoy! Likes, reblogs, and comments are most appreciated <3

Summary: Aelin Galathynius is ready for the best summer of her life. She’s home from college for the summer, and so are all of her friends. Even her cousin is on a break from the military. Everything is set up to be perfect. Until… her mother decides to let the son of an old family friend stay with them while he grieves the loss of a loved one. And Aelin is not going to let a party pooper ruin her summer.

Rowan Whitethorn has just suffered the biggest loss of his life: the death of his long-time girlfriend, Lyria. His family is sick of him moping around his tiny New York apartment, so they ship him down south for the summer. The last thing Rowan wants is to spend his vacation in Nowhereville, Texas, but he has little choice. Not to mention, the only people his age seem to hate him. How on earth is he going to survive 3 months of this?

“Hey, you!” Lys greets her as Aelin pulls into the driveway of her best friend’s house. Aelin lives on some land, but Lysandra is the one who owns land. She has several horses, cows, chickens, and some goats hanging around. Not enough to make money, just to have some fresh milk and eggs at home. 

“I meant to be here earlier, but my mom made me drop off Rowan at the Terrasen Motel.” Aelin sighs.

“Why, are y’all getting rid of him?”

Aelin groans, opening up the passenger side door to let Fleetfoot out. “If only. No, the bastard has some friends in town, and asked me to take him over.”

“Well, are they at least hot? That’s the most important part.” Lysandra laughs as she and Aelin walk through the yard and towards the pasture, where the horses are. 

“I dunno. I high tailed it out of there before he even stepped out of the truck.” 

Lysandra is easy to be around, the kind of person you can just tell anything to. As much as Aelin loves her other friends, right now is about the time Elide, Yrene, and Nehemia would be chastising her, telling her to be kind and remember her manners. 

But not Lysandra.

The two of them, Fleetfoot on their heels, walk arm-in-arm out to the pasture, smiling even as the oppressive heat grows worse. With the Ennars’ land being near a forest, the horses have access to both trees and a pond, though Lys has water buckets still hanging on the fence near the gate anyway. 

Fleetfoot, clearly scenting the horses, is bouncing around excitedly, pink tongue lolling out as she dances from paw to paw. When Lys opens the gate, the golden dog sprints away in a flash, running to greet the large beasts roaming around the pasture.

“ I haven’t ridden Quince in a while, so I’ll take her out today. You can choose whoever you want.”

They find Quince standing in the shade of an oak tree, her dark tail lazily swatting at flies and mosquitoes. Standing with her is Poppy, the pale brown mare drinking from the pond. 

“Hey, girlies.” Aelin coos, stroking Poppy’s nose. “Wanna go for a ride?”

“C’mon, you two.” Lys coaxes the two horses forward, Fleetfoot darting between them when she clicks her tongue. “We’re gonna go for a ride. And after we’ll brush you and give you some nice apples and oats. Does that sound good?”

They slowly lead the horses towards the barn to get them tacked up, both of them moving nearly on muscle memory as they talk the entire time. 

“My mother is trying to include Rowan in everything we do.” Aelin complains. “What are we going to do with him if we go to the beach or something?”

“I mean,” Lysandra shrugs, “while I’m sure he’s a prick, he is very attractive. I wouldn’t mind having him on the beach. Maybe he’d take his shirt off.”

Aelin just groans loudly, a halfhearted attempt to get the image out of her brain, where he was just woken up, silver hair messy-

The horse snorts beside her face, dragging her away from the thought. 

“Whatever, Lys. Let’s go riding.”

Both girls mount the horses and ride them out of the barn. The Texas sun is burning high, and while she’s only been outside for a bit, Aelin is already sweating like a pig. She can’t wait to be in the cover of the trees. 

Fleetfoot trots alongside the horses happily, keeping pace while they head towards the riding trail around Lys’s house. 

At least beneath the trees it’s a bit cooler, though no less humid. But the trail is wide enough for both horses to walk side by side, and it’s just the kind of calm Aelin needs after pissing off her mother. 

Poppy is sturdy beneath her, and the horse doesn’t lean off the path to nibble at the overgrown vegetation. She just keeps moving forward. 

“You know,” Lysandra starts, and from her tone of voice Aelin already knows what’s coming. “I still don’t really understand what you have against this Rowan guy. I mean-”

Aelin cuts off her friend with a loud groan. “Don’t start. He’s an asshole, that’s what I have against him.”

“How do you really know he’s an asshole, though? He’s only been here a few days.”

The blonde woman rolls her eyes. “First off, he insulted the town-”

“Well in that case, screw him.” Lys giggles. Aelin reaches over, leaning off the side of her horse, just to punch her in the arm. 

“He just is, Lys. If you met him you’d know.”

Her friend doesn’t comment on the Rowan situation any more, instead pulling her horse slightly ahead to forge onward. 

“You know,” Aelin mimics, a mischievous grin appearing on her features. “I noticed that you looked pretty cozy with Aedion at the barbecue last week.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lysandra says primly, though there’s no hiding the blush that rises to her face. Already flushed from the heat, her entire face turns tomato-red. 

Aelin just smirks. “Okay, if that’s what you say. I just thought you might be interested in the fact that he got a new girlfriend-”

“Oh, shut up.” Now it’s Lys’s turn to punch her. Below them, Fleetfoot woofs loudly, paws crunching on the dry grass as she pads along behind the horses. “You can’t fool me, Aelin Ashryver. That man is about as hopeless with women as you are at hiding your underage drinking.”

“Like you weren’t drinking right along with me!” Aelin protests.

“Yes, but at least I was hiding it.”

The two women dissolve into friendly squabbling as they continue on, the path eventually emerging from the trees and right back into the pasture. 

Poppy is getting slightly restless, and Aelin can feel the mare’s desperation to run. It is only fair, she supposes.

When Aelin locks eyes with Lysandra, they both instantly get the same idea.

Race you.

With a quick kick to Poppy’s sides, the brown horse instantly breaks into a gallop, tearing across the pasture with joy. Quince is right on their heels, and poor Fleetfoot is left in the dust. 

There isn’t any wind, but Aelin’s hair is still blowing behind her, whipping free from its braids. Poppy tosses her head and her mane, and Aelin can’t help the wild cry of joy that escapes her throat, the sound carrying over the whole pasture. Lysandra whoops as well, both of them lost in the enchantment of running on horseback. 

The horses can’t keep up the fast pace forever, and eventually Quince and Poppy slow down, and Aelin gifts her mare with plenty of praise and kisses as she dismounts. 

“Good girl, Poppy.” She coos. “Let’s go get you some water, you good, good girl.”

They find Fleetfoot wading in the water, drinking alongside a few other horses. Poppy and Quince drink their fill while Aelin and Lys had back to the barn to get a few treats before untacking them. 

Leading the horses away from the water is easier said than done, as both of them are reluctant to leave the pond. Eventually, with the help of many horse treats, they manage to get both of them to the barn to untack them. 

It’s about 3 o’clock, and the sun is dipping ever so slightly. Of course, it won’t get dark until about 8, but at least the sun is mildly less intense.

“I still have a while until I have to be home.” Aelin tells her friend. “I don’t know what Mom’s cooking for dinner, but it’s important enough she wants me home for it.”

“If she’s making fried chicken tell her to prepare enough for me, too.” Lys grins. “God, I wish I could live off of just your mom’s fried chicken.”

Aelin rolls her eyes. “Don’t we all.”

“Well, if you don’t have to be home yet…” Lysandra’s grin turns devious. “I do have a few projects I could use some help on.”

When Lysandra hands her the rake and points her towards the horse stalls, Aelin just sighs. 

Forget Rowan Whitethorn ruining her summer, her best friend has decided to aid in her misery by making her muck out the stable.

~~~~

After pretty much getting kicked to the curb from Aelin’s truck, Rowan is in a pretty foul mood. And it’s only worsened when the attendant at the front desk attempts to make small talk. 

“You’re not from around here, are ya?” The man says, though it is friendly. Despite that, Rowan is pissed off at the world, and he barely gives more than one-word answers until he spots a familiar golden head down the hallway.

“Rowan!” Fenrys shouts, nearly crashing into him in his excitement. Lorcan rounds the corner, a lot more calmly than their friend.

“Hey.” Rowan sighs. “Glad you two could actually make it down.”

“Okay, I don’t care what either of you two grumps say, this place is awesome.” Fenrys laughs. “Everyone is so friendly, and the food is great, and-”

“And it’s fucking hot.” Lorcan groans. 

“Okay, maybe it’s kind of hot-” Fenrys continues, but Rowan interrupts him.

“Goddamn, it is hot. And humid. How is any place allowed to be both this hot and this wet at the same time?”

“We’re actually just emerging from a drought.” The attendant pipes in helpfully. 

“Let’s go eat.” Lorcan says, ignoring the man. “I’m starving.”

If the attendant is put out by the dismissal, he clearly doesn’t show it, because he keeps talking. “Y’all should head on down to Banjali. Ytger Hospitality has some of the best food in the county.”

“Yeah, let’s do that!” Fenrys is far too excited and has far too much energy for Rowan to handle, but then again, when is anybody energetic enough to deal with him?

“Whatever.” Lorcan shrugs. 

They all pile into the small rental car that Fenrys got at the airport, Rowan being forced to sit in the backseat yet again. Fenrys, sitting shotgun, is scrolling through his phone as he attempts to locate the restaurant the attendant told them about. 

In all honesty, Rowan would rather pick up fast food and be done with it. He doesn’t know if he has the mental strength to be out in public for an extended period of time. 

But Fenrys is unstoppable. “Every review for the restaurant is at least four stars! It has a 4.5 average! I bet it’s going to be so good!”

Neither Lorcan nor Rowan comment much until Lorcan pulls into the parking lot. The restaurant is large, with a massive banner saying “Ytger Hospitality” hung over the entrance. 

Fenrys all but sprints inside, only held back by Rowan grabbing his arm. 

Inside almost feels… homey. The way it’s decorated, the design, the music playing in the background. It feels like Rowan just walked into his aunt’s house for Thanksgiving. Smells like it, too.

“Hello! How many in your party?” Rowan almost does a double take, looking over at the host. 

It’s a boy, no more than thirteen years old. 

“Uh- is that legal?” Lorcan snorts, taking in the form of the kid. 

“My family owns this restaurant, mister. It’s family owned, family run. We all work here. My older sister waits tables, and my younger brother helps wash dishes. How many in your party?”

“Er… three.” Rowan manages. He’s never been to a restaurant where the kids are working. Is it considered child labor if it’s your own children doing it? 

All three of them are ever so slightly disgruntled as the kid leads them to their table in the corner. He leaves them with menus and silverware, and hardly spares them another passing glance. 

It isn’t long before a waitress comes over, a young woman with long black hair and dark skin. 

“Can I get y’all something to drink? I’m Nehemia, I’ll be your waitress today.”

One glance at Fenrys and Rowan has to hold back a groan. The golden-haired man is one step away from looking like the heart-eyes emoji. The woman either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care, instead observing them with a quiet grace. 

“Just a water.” Rowan tells her. Lorcan agrees and orders his own, while Fenrys just… stares. 

“Um… I’ll have the, uh, iced tea?” Fenrys manages to make it sound more like a question.

“Sweet or unsweet?” Nehemia asks.

“Er… sweet. Please.”

The waitress nods, tucking the pen behind her ear after writing down their drink orders. When she turns around, Rowan nearly has to snap Fenrys’s jaw shut.

“What the hell, man.” Lorcan hisses. “You see one pretty girl and forget how to speak?”

“She’s not just pretty, she’s gorgeous.” Fenrys sighs. “Holy shit. I have never seen a more beautiful person in my life.”

“Except for you, I’m assuming?” Rowan snorts. 

Fenrys shakes his head. “No. Even my ethereal beauty can’t compete with her.”

“Damn. You’ve literally just met her.” Rowan continues. “Anyway, what does it matter? You two aren’t going to be here for long anyway, so there’s no point in starting a relationship.”

Now Fenrys is looking at him like he wants to commit murder.

“Anyway,” Lorcan says pointedly, “we should look at the menus. I’m starving.”

Rowan browses, but he isn’t incredibly hungry anyway. Fenrys and Lorcan chatter among each other, pointing out what sounds good, but all Rowan can do is look out the window. 

“Are y’all ready to order or do you need a few more minutes?” The drawling accent of the waitress pulls him from his slight stupor, and he looks away from the sight outside. 

“I’m ready.” Lorcan offers. “I’ll take the fried catfish.”

“You get two sides with that.” Nehemia tells him.

“Alright, then I’ll have… green beans and mashed potatoes.”

She turns to him next, and Rowan orders a simple cheeseburger with french fries. Then she goes to Fenrys.

“In your opinion, what’s the best thing here?” He croons. It’s clear flirtation, and both Rowan and Lorcan visibly cringe. The waitress, however, doesn’t seem too affected. 

“Chicken fried steak.” She says without hesitation. “With mashed potatoes and fried okra on the side.”

Jesus Christ, Rowan thinks, why is everything fried here?

“I’ll have that.” Fenrys says with a grin. The waitress finishes writing everything down, then heads over to the next table. 

All Lorcan and Rowan can do is shake their heads.

~~~~

The food was good. Delicious, actually, and Rowan is more stuffed than he’s ever been in his life as they make their way back to the car. All three of them collapse into their seats, groaning. 

“I’m never going to need to eat again.” Lorcan mumbles.

“I should have stopped eating.” Fenrys laments. “But I just couldn’t.”

Rowan can’t even muster up enough energy to reply. The heat, the food, all of it combined made him want to go to sleep and never wake up.

“Just take me back, please.” He finally manages to say.

“Sure thing.” Lorcan buckles his seatbelt and puts the car in drive, pulling smoothly out of the parking lot.

None of the men speak on the way back to the Galathynius house, save for Rowan giving mediocre directions. Eventually, they pull up in the driveway, and Fenrys lets out a low whistle.

“Damn, Rowan. Living the high life, aren’t you?”

“Shut up.” Rowan sighs. 

“See you around, man.” Lorcan says, ignoring Fenrys. 

Rowan pulls his bloated self out of the car, walking up to the front door. Evalin gave him a copy of the keys the other night, but right before he lets himself in, the lady of the house herself beats him to it.

“Rowan, you’re back!” She says in that cheerful voice. She glances over to the car parked in the driveway, where, through the windshield, Rowan can see Lorcan on his phone. 

“Are those your friends? Where are they staying?”

“Terrasen Motel.” Rowan tells her. “They’re only staying for-”

“Oh, they can’t stay there!” Evalin laments. “We have lots of room, they can stay with us! That motel should have closed years ago, honestly.”

“Er-”

Evalin doesn’t stop. “It’s not a problem, Rowan. We love having company, they can stay as long as they need.”

At the risk of seeming rude or ungrateful or anything else in the eyes of his host, Rowan pulls out his phone and sends a quick text to Fenrys and Lorcan.

Rowan: Hey, Evalin is offering you guys a place to stay while you’re here. You don’t have to accept, really.

Before he can send another text, telling them not to respond, Fenrys’s reply nearly buzzes his phone out of his hand.

Fenrys: WOULD WE EVER?! HELL YES

Sweet Jesus. 

All Rowan can think about, as Lorcan and Fenrys speed off to get their things, is that if Aelin hates him now, she’s certainly going to despise him after this.

And he doesn’t know why, but he just can’t stand the thought of her being more upset with him than she already is. 

~~~~

Nehemia: Aelin, your mans just came to the restaurant

Aelin: You asshole, how do you even know what he looks like?

Nehemia: Well, first of all, he was clearly a yankee, and second of all, with a last name like Whitethorn, of course he’d have white hair. 

Aelin: Your logic is lacking but I’ll give it to you anyway. He’s an asshole, isn’t he?

Nehemia: Yeah, he didn’t say please and thank you when ordering, so I’ve decided he’s actually the devil.

The sarcasm is clear, even through the phone, and Aelin can’t hold back her laugh. She really should be heading home, but right now she’s parked in front of Lysandra’s house, with Fleetfoot nearly on her lap, still panting from the heat.

Aelin: Hey, do you want to come over? We can eat ice cream in my bed and gossip loud enough that Mr. Asshole Yankee can hear us down the hall

Nehemia: Well, I was gonna say no, but after you said the word gossip it changed my answer. 

Aelin: Alright, just come over whenever. I’m heading back from Lys’s right now.

The drive home is short, and since she hasn’t heard a word from Rowan or anyone else telling her to pick him up, she passes right by the Terrasen Motel without a second glance. 

Something is different when Aelin pulls up to her house. There’s another car parked in the driveway. However, her mother always has someone over to drink sweet tea with, so it’s no matter.

That is, of course, until someone opens up the front door. Aelin isn’t even out of the truck yet, but she can clearly see that the two people in the entryway aren’t the usual demographic for her mother’s gossip sessions.

Two young men, one with dark hair and one with gold, hurry down the stairs to the car. And following them?

Rowan. It’s Rowan Whitethorn who is following them as they open up the trunk of the car and take out their suitcases. 

Aelin is seeing red. It’s one thing for Rowan to stay with them. After all, he was invited. But for him to invite his own friends?

But before Aelin can pop a blood vessel, the golden haired man comes over to the truck and raps on the window, a bright grin on his features. Skeptically, Aelin rolls the window down.

“Hi!” He says, far too enthusiastically for her liking. “Fenrys Moonbeam.” He gives her his hand to shake, which Aelin does reluctantly. 

“I’ve heard a lot about you.” He smiles. 

“And I’ve heard absolutely nothing about you.” She responds.

He laughs at that. “Well, you’ll have to get to know me, then. Your mother was really kind to offer us a place to stay.”

Well, Aelin supposes, if her mother offered, she really can’t be mad. And this Fenrys character seems decent enough. 

She finally gets out of the car, letting Fleetfoot out as well so the dog can sniff the new arrivals. Rowan doesn’t say anything, though Fenrys leans down to coo over the dog.

Nehemia’s car comes rumbling down the street, the other woman parking on the already crowded driveway. Fleetfoot runs over to her just as the other woman hops out.

“Hey Aelin! Who’s all this?” Nehemia strides up to embrace her friend, and Aelin gladly accepts the hug.

“My mother is creating a hotel, apparently.” She chuckles. 

But her friend isn’t listening. Nehemia’s interest is entirely taken by the golden man in front of her.

“Um… hello, again.” Fenrys says sheepishly.

Aelin looks between them frantically, at Fenrys, at Nehemia.

“Do y’all know each other?”

----

a/n: Well, well, well... drama. Some other random southern america facts- yes, people do usually let their kids work in family owned restaurants! I know a girl who’s family owns an awesome Mexican restaurant, and when you go there both she and her younger brother are working. So yeah, having Nehemia’s little brothers work, since the restaurant is family owned, isn’t that unusual down here! And also, yes, everything is fried. Everything.

Tag List: Comment to be added or removed!

@http-itsrebecca​

@rowaelinforeverworld​

@whyyoumakemesadstahp

@queen-of-glass​

@the-dark-swan​

@faerie-queen-fireheart​

[lailaliquorice]

when everyone who loves me has died

For the anon who requested parrlyn angst with boleyn comforting: I give you this very very sad piece of something.

Normally when I do hurt/comfort it’s physical, but this is just sad. Although I haven’t written kid fic yet (and this isn’t that as a disclaimer) I am very fond of the children plus my fave Jane Grey and reading about Parr’s relationship with both Bess and Jane before she died gives me a lot of feelings. Now this does overlook the discourse over Parr’s alleged part in the Th*mas Seymour bullshittery, but because this is a work of fiction it follows the notion that Parr sent Bess away to protect her and nothing else.

With that said and done, I hope you enjoy me pouring feelings out <3

It wasn’t usual for Cathy to shut herself in her bedroom-study for hours upon hours as she worked. Anne didn’t understand how she could stay focused on one thing so long but she never stopped admiring her girlfriend’s dedication to the causes she thought important, only ever stepping in when she got worried that Cathy was putting her work over her health. She never blamed Cathy for getting too caught up to remember she was still human, and was always willing to give her a gentle reminder to eat or sleep or just take a break whenever it was needed.

But she felt like she was right to be concerned one day when she came back from the theatre on Cathy’s random show off night to see her bedroom door shut. Normally she would always be waiting downstairs for them when they came home, having enjoyed some time to herself but happier to have her family back with her. And as much as Cathy called promises she was ok just busy from behind the door when Anne knocked and Jane assured her that she was probably just caught up in something, she couldn’t help the persistent feeling as she climbed the stairs to her bedroom that all wasn’t right.

And that only worsened when there was still no sign of her by dinner the next evening.

It was normal for Cathy to spend their Sundays off making up for lost researching time so Anne didn’t know why she was surprised to not see her in the kitchen when she came down for breakfast. She was too distracted by worry to get anything productive done so passed the time by shadowing Aragon and Jane as they did their weekly clean of the house, grateful to them both for giving her mindless tasks without asking her too many questions. Though when evening came and she still hadn’t said a word to anyone, Aragon and Jane’s concerned expressions gave Anne the permission she needed to race up the stairs towards her room.

“Hey, babe?” she called quietly as she knocked on the door, ear pressed to the wood so she might better hear any response. “Are you ok? We’re worried about you.”

Only silence answered her question.

A worried furrow appeared in her brow and she placed a hesitant hand on the door handle. “Cathy?” she said again, unable to stop the slight tremble in her voice at the thought of why she might not be answering her. “If you don’t answer me I’m gonna come in, ok?” She left it a few seconds before giving up on that hope, pulling in a shaky breath to try and steel her nerves before she slowly pushed the handle down and opened the door.

Chaos greeted her. Cathy’s desk was rarely completely tidy but the mess of papers had completely taken over her room; crumpled sheets of scribbled writing were scattered everywhere and the back cover of a notepad lay below a smudged mark on the wall, as if it had been thrown across the room and exploded on impact. Books had been pulled out of the bookcase and abandoned all over the place with one open on the desk which looked as though there had been pages ripped out. Blue post it notes that Anne had brought her covered the wall behind her laptop screen. The bed was unmade though it still didn’t look slept in, making Anne wonder with a jolt of fear if Cathy had even rested in the last 24 hours.

With all the destruction everywhere, it took Anne’s eyes a good few seconds to look past it in order to try and find where Cathy was. The sound of a stifled cry made Anne’s head whip round towards Cathy’s desk, and now that she knew where to look she saw the figure curled up beneath it amongst a nest of screwed up pages. Her knees were pulled up to her chest with her fingers snagged in her hair and was shaking uncontrollably.

Anne wasted no time in rushing across the room towards her, paying no heed to the papers beneath her feet, though forced herself to slow down before she reached her so as not to spook her. “Cathy, sweetheart, it’s me,” she said gently as she crouched beside her, waiting a moment to see if her voice alone could penetrate whatever state of mind Cathy was trapped in.

When she received no response she laid a gentle hand on Cathy’s knee, drawing back immediately when Cathy flinched in surprise and looked up at her. “Hey you,” Anne whispered, looking into her girlfriend’s red-rimmed eyes and at the tears streaking down her face as her chest clenched in sorrow.

“Hey,” Cathy rasped, her voice croaky from disuse. She looked about to say something else for a moment, mouth ajar and chest stilling, before she just ducked her head again and muttered “Sorry.”

“No, there’s nothing to be sorry about. You’re ok, we’re both ok,” Anne said as soothingly as she could, taking one of Cathy’s hands and gently untangling it from her hair to hold close to her chest.

Cathy shrugged but didn’t pull away, uncurling herself a little to sit slumped with her knees resting against Anne’s. “Shouldn’t have shut myself away like this though,” she said. Her other hand dropped to her side as she spoke and landed on one of the discarded papers, which she barely looked at for a second before crushing in a white-knuckled fist.

Watching her expression change, Anne felt a pang of sadness that the hobby which normally brought Cathy so much joy had caused her so much pain. “Still doesn’t mean you have to apologise,” Anne said, giving Cathy’s limp hand a gentle squeeze. “You want to tell me what happened?”

Sniffing, she rubbed the sleeve of her hoodie under her eyes in an attempt to dry her ravaged cheeks. “I was stupid,” she started, a note of frustration creeping into her distraught tone. “Don’t know why I thought looking her up would be different this time round. I didn’t find anything the first time or the second time or this time or any other time in between but I just can’t get myself to quit. I can’t get myself to give up on her.” Her voice was almost inaudible as she uttered that last sentence.

It wasn’t hard for Anne to guess who Cathy was talking about. Her most precious secret. Mae.

“And then when I couldn’t figure out what happened to her starting putting together what happened to all the others. They all suffered so much and I hate that so much. Bess – your Bess – what that horrible, awful man put her and Edward through. And I never knew until it was too late. I tried so hard to protect her while I could but then I left them all alone with that monster! I knew after Bess and I was going to protect them all but then I died and I left them alone!”

Anne could only stare as Cathy’s voice rose in both pitch and volume as her distress mounted. The comment about Elizabeth had caught her off guard, her hands stilling from where she’d been stroking Cathy’s hand, momentarily wrapped up in the anger she’d been seized with when she first learned what happened to her precious daughter.

“They were children,” she spat bitterly. “Just children, left alone and used by everyone who cared what they could use them for but never about them.”

The defeat in Cathy’s face was enough for Anne to shove her misgivings away to focus on what was at hand. “You cared,” she reminder her quietly, squeezing her hand lightly.

Fresh tears flowed down Cathy’s cheeks as she gave a hollow smile. “I cared so much. They were incredible. Bess was so witty and determined, Jane so clever and kind. And Mae was just perfect. I was going to look after them all, teach them how to survive, keep them safe. Me and my girls. We were going to be a family,” she whispered.

Silence followed her last words and Anne let it, too caught up in just watching the incredible woman before her to say anything with any meaning. It never failed to amaze her just how much strength Cathy had shown in those old days. What she’d done to keep herself alive and protect her little prodigies while she could. “It would have meant so much,” Anne pointed out after a while, giving her a nudge with her knee.

Cathy nodded, rubbing her eyes again. “I know,” she said hoarsely, giving Anne a grateful glance before bowing her head and falling quiet again.

“But I let them down.”

Anne looked up from when she’d been trying to read a nearby sheet of paper with Bess’s name on, glancing with trepidation at the lines of fury etched into Cathy’s face. It was very rare that Cathy was ever this angry, preferring to channel her emotions into strength rather than let them rule her like Anne was prone to doing, and she’d have been lying if she said it didn’t scare her a little.

“I died,” Cathy continued, voice dark and dangerous. “I left them in the lion’s den. And now look what happened to them; Bess was hurt and interrogated with no one to fight for her, Jane was used and paid with her life for someone else’s ambition, and they let Mae disappear. No one cared about the daughter of two ex-somebodies. I should have been there, I should have fought harder for them because no one else cared enough to do it.”

“No, sweetheart, it wasn’t your fault. They could never have blamed you,” Anne said, tugging lightly on Cathy’s hand in a fruitless attempt to make her look up from where her gaze was lowered in shame. She’d already had that conversation with Jane once before, trying to convince her that she wasn’t to blame for leaving Edward behind. “You can’t blame yourself for your death. You’d never have left them if you had the choice. You loved them so much and you couldn’t change what happened,” she insisted gently.

When Cathy only gave a hum in response, Anne reached out to cup her jaw with one hand and tilt her chin upwards. She smiled sadly at the loss in Cathy’s eyes, kissing her temple before pressing their foreheads together and murmuring ��Thank you for doing what I couldn’t do for her.”

Cathy sighed as her head fell sideways into the palm of Anne’s hand. “Thank you,” she said, smiling for a second before her expression crumpled again. “I’m sorry I got caught up in everything, I was just desperate to find something to reassure myself and got so frustrated and now I haven’t slept at all and I don’t feel very well and-“ she broke off with a sob, burying her face in her hands.

Anne ducked her head under the desk in order to wrap her up in a hug, holding Cathy tightly as she shook in her arms. “I’ve got you. Love you so much,” she whispered as she stroked Cathy’s hair, letting the exhausted girl pour out her sorrows into her shoulder since clearly she so desperately needed to.

“I love you too. I’m sorry,” Cathy repeated breathlessly, her arms losing their strength as her exhaustion built.

Shaking her head, Anne shushed her gently to quieten her apologetic cries. “No. No apologising,” she said, adjusting her grip to take as much of Cathy’s weight as she could manage. When she slumped further with her head rested against Anne’s chest and her eyes closed, Anne nudged her gently and said “Can I get you into bed love? You need to sleep but shouldn’t here.”

Cathy hummed in quiet agreement, just about managing to make her weary limbs cooperate with Anne as she helped her out from under the table. Once they were into the light Anne could see just how much of a toll the last day had taken on her; her face was grey though her cheeks were flushed pink in stark contrast to the dark circles beneath her eyes. She was still shaking a little where she stood, but when Anne pressed a palm to her forehead and felt how warm Cathy was she realised it might have been feverish shivering instead.

“Come on,” she prompted, one arm around Cathy’s waist as she helped her sit down on the edge of the bed and pull off her hoodie. Her phone buzzed in her pocket as she was piling up all the pillows for Cathy to lay back against, the concerned text from Jane reminding her that it was meant to be dinner time and that Cathy hadn’t eaten anything in the last day. Once she was resting on the nest of pillows, Anne asked “Do you think you’d be able to eat anything, babe?”

A defeated shrug answered her, so Anne left her with a kiss on the forehead and a promise to return soon as she left to get dinner for them both. There was no way she was leaving Cathy in that state without being reassured that she was being taken care of at long last.

After running downstairs to see what Aragon had made for dinner, Anne came back up the stairs with pasta for herself but a bowl of soup for Cathy since they’d figured it would be easier for her to stomach. Cathy was unmoving on the bed with her head lolled to the side when Anne pushed her door open but she stirred at Anne’s cheery greeting, picking her way between the papers towards her.

Cathy watched her move, a dejected frown appearing on her face as she muttered “I’ll need to clear those up tomorrow.”

“That’s a problem for tomorrow’s you though. And I’m gonna help you and it’ll be alright,” Anne said, offering her a carefree smile.

“Oh. Yeah, I guess,” Cathy nodded, a somewhat surprised expression on her face.

Anne hummed in agreement, offering out the bowl of soup to Cathy and supporting her shaky hands as she took it. “You don’t have to finish it, just as much as you can,” she prompted her.

She just stared at the bowl for a few seconds, making Anne wonder if she was slipping again from the seemingly stable mindset she’d brought herself back to. But then Cathy looked up at Anne, bashful hope shining in her eyes as she asked “Can you help me?”

Anne was more than happy to oblige. She shuffled close to Cathy and guided her hands as she slowly ate her dinner, talking about easy topics as they did so and pausing whenever she needed to. When Cathy grew too tired to keep talking Anne put both their bowls on the bedside table and lay down before her, holding her close as the last of her energy reserves seeped away. Cathy’s body was still feverishly hot as she buried her face into Anne’s chest again, and Anne was more than happy to be her shelter from the memories that had haunted her for so long.

Tomorrow they’d clear up the mess Cathy had created, both in her bedroom and inside her head. But for now, Anne would just hold her while she slept and keep her safe from the pain of her regrets.

[banduckoot]

Anon, you have no idea how excited I got when you sent me this! I am just sorry it took me so long to get to answering this; I knew that it was going to take me a bit of time to answer and needed to be in the right mindset to think it all through.

Okay, so I'm assuming you mean mutant henchmen specifically, right, and not the bandicoots? Let me see...

Let's start with Ripper Roo, just to the get the obvious silliness out of the way. I don't know if he's sane enough to maintain any sort of romantic relationship, but assuming he is? There's only one way he's gonna pop the question to his S/O. He somehow arranges a nice, romantic dinner, just for the two of them, and at just the right moment, he literally coughs up the ring. He then picks it up in his teeth and holds it up to his S/O, looking up at them pleadingly with puppy eyes. If his S/O has it in them to say yes, Ripper happily uses his mouth to slip the ring on their finger before hopping around with glee, cackling with mad laughter.

Koala Kong is a tough one... we don't know much about his personality save for the fact he's meant to be a parody of Sylvester Stallone, down to the same speech impediment. So, if he's gonna propose to his S/O, I imagine he might try to impress his S/O first with some feat of physical strength, something he's going to heavily publicize so that he has an audience. It might be a fight against a strong opponent, or running a certain distance within a time limit... something that Kong is certain is going to wow his S/O.

So he does whatever it is, tons of people watching along with the S/O, and he succeeds. Everyone's cheering, news cameras show up, and when an interviewer approaches Kong, he takes the opportunity to explain he did it all for his S/O... and then pops the question to them on air. When S/O says yes, Kong has just enough strength left in him to pick up his S/O and lift them up, maybe even twirl them around, in happiness. Then he puts them back down and they spend the rest of the day together, celebrating quietly with a well-earned rest for Kong.

Pinstripe Potoroo popping the question to his S/O is a HUGE freakin' deal, and all of his henchmen know it. He's got everything planned to a T-- dinner has been reserved at the best restaurant he can afford, he's had his best suit dry cleaned, and he's bought the most beautiful ring he can find. Whether his S/O is male or female, that ring is gonna have diamonds in it, and LOTS of them. Big ones, too! Pinstripelli Potorotti spares no expense whatsoever when it comes to the love of his life.

He takes his S/O to dinner, and makes sure they get at least one dance in. He pulls out ALL of his best dance moves, too. He's smoother that night than he's ever been, or so it seems; he's actually super-nervous, but he's careful not to let it show (too much). He downs a glass of wine before he finally works up the nerve to pop the question. When his S/O says yes, he's super happy, and practically smothers his S/O with kisses before he remembers to put the ring on them.

His henchmen clap, cry, and congratulate their boss. I'd like to think that after the wedding, Pinstripe's S/O becomes a second boss to his henchmen. Like, if S/O is a female, she gets a nickname like “Mrs. Boss” or something. I think that'd be cute!

Tiny Tiger, as ferocious as he is, has the capacity to be a total sweetheart when he wants to be. While I can't imagine what sort of person Tiny would date, I think he'd be the most loyal and thoughtful boyfriend imaginable to his S/O. He would be super-nervous about popping the question; it would be one of the few times Tiny would be scared about anything. He is so afraid his S/O will say no for one reason or another; maybe it's too soon to ask, maybe his S/O isn't the marrying type, it could be any reason at all. Tiny has a ring ready and is bracing himself for failure. He just gets his S/O alone, mutters that he wants to ask them something, holds out the ring and looks away pathetically as he practically shouts, “PLEASE MARRY TINY, PLEASE SAY YES, PLEASE DON'T REJECT TINY, TINY WORK VERY HARD FOR RING!”.

Tiny's S/O has to reassure Tiny and calm his nerves a bit before accepting the proposal. Tiny is so happy that he jumps for joy... and nearly loses the ring! Fortunately, he grabs it in time and oh so delicately slips it onto S/O's finger. Tiny cheers and gives a celebratory howl before taking S/O into his arms and snuggling them for the rest of the day, purring happily. Do thylacines purr? Well, Tiny does. So there.

The Komodo Brothers, Joe and Moe, are komodo dragons. It is because of their species that Joe and Moe aren't exactly the “til death do us part” types. It would have to take someone extremely special to make them want to get married at all. That being said, the way they'd each go about proposing isn't too different from one another. For them, most of the effort would go into finding the biggest diamond possible for a ring they would have customized themselves. And by finding a diamond, I mean literally going on a treasure hunt for it and stealing it. Heaven forbid the two brothers both want to propose to their S/Os at the same time, then they'd both be competing heavily for the same diamond.

At any rate, Komodo Joe has more finesse and style than his brother, and would be quicker at finding a diamond. The ring he fashions it into has a very mystical design that clearly says it's from him. Then comes the asking part. He takes his S/O somewhere private and off-the-beaten path, somewhere beautiful, like... maybe a cave full of shining crystals, or a garden full of rare flowers. He's almost business-like about asking, even as he gets on one knee and presents the ring, though it's mostly a mask for how nervous he is. Said mask might start to break if S/O takes too long to answer (perhaps from gawking at the size of the diamond!?). When they finally do and say yes, Joe is incredibly relieved and laughs happily. He slips the ring on S/O's finger and holds their hands, gazing into their eyes, and smiling. He's pleased. He knows he's made the right choice. All that treasure hunting was completely worth it.

Komodo Moe is a bit more clumsy and not quite as smart as his brother. He'd take longer to find a diamond than Joe would, and if Joe found a diamond for his own S/O first, Moe would want to find one that's even bigger. And should he fail to find a bigger one? He's going to steal Joe's diamond. Wherever the diamond comes from, Moe would present it to his S/O in a place that's big and grand, but very gorgeous... like maybe a palace or an exotic resort he's decided to break into for the occasion? Something like that. He's not quite as elegant about the affair as Joe might be, but he still he tries, going on one knee and asking with a sheepish smile on his face. When his S/O accepts, he hugs and kisses them before slipping the ring on them. Moe then drags his S/O off for a full day of celebration.

Dingodile has always been beloved for being one of the cooler, more badass mutants. However, he's not feeling particularly cool or badass now that he's decided to propose to his S/O. The truth is, he couldn't be more nervous. Getting the ring size? That was almost impossible. Finding the perfect ring? He nearly burnt down multiple jewelry stores during his search out of sheer anxiety. Setting up the perfect romantic dinner to pop the question? SO. MUCH. REHEARSAL.

He's trying to play it smooth throughout the dinner, stealthily patting at the ring box in his pants pocket just to remind himself that it's still there. Eventually, the suave front he's put on starts to break down as his anxiety continues to mount. His S/O asks him if he's okay. Dingodile assures them everything's fine. But then, as all things usually do, some tiny thing goes wrong. Dingodile flips. He breaks out his flamethrower in an attempt to correct whatever tiny thing it was, but then his S/O snaps him out of it, trying to calm him down. Dingodile groans and apologizes.

“Sorry, love. I was trying to make sure tonight was perfect, but I went an' screwed it up anyway.”

S/O asks Dingodile what was supposed to be so special about this specific evening.

Dingodile sheepishly pulls out the ring box and pushes it towards S/O. “That's what... I understand if ya wanna say no...”

S/O opens the ring box, and their jaw drops at the sight of the ring. They start to cry and tell Dingodile their answer is yes, wrapping him in a huge hug. Dingodile, relieved, returns the hug and nuzzles his S/O with his snout.

“Aw, come on, don't cry. You're gonna make ME cry. Big tough guy like me has a reputation to keep!”

In all seriousness, though, he's very happy. He puts the ring on his S/O and spends the rest of the evening celebrating with them, grateful that everything went just fine, even if it wasn't perfect. He'll be bragging to everyone about his engagement later, and about his wonderful S/O.

[willwolfie]

Location: Pittsburgh, PA. Time: Last Spring. Triggers: Blood, Death, Accident

“The fear of death never left me; I couldn't get used to the thought; I would still sometimes shake and weep with terror.” ― Simone de Beauvoir

If life got busy it was tough luck and if one lived life as one William Moritz Wolf did, then the lives of everyone else needed saving before his own. His entire adolescence was spent in and out of hospitals, in and out of doctor’s offices, in and out of treatment centers. He loved his annoyingly careful parents with his whole heart, but life had never seemed as worth it as it did when his disorder and he were not at the center of it anymore. And life was busy enough right now for him to forget fully about himself and do what he did best instead. Soothe others, care for them, save them.

   They usually rotated on air ambulance duty, and while Will suspected it was still because they did not entirely trust him, the newly certified flight paramedic, it didn’t bother him as much as he initially thought it would. It kept him close to the 027 Fire Department-- his home and family that had seen all too little of Will the weeks leading up to his final examinations and away from getting too close to the pretty nurses that he sometimes was made to sit in the small aerial space for hours. And as he made his way into Jefferson Health for the first 12-hour shift this week, his eyes made a bee-line for the prettiest one to join him yet. He had always liked the nurses better than doctors, regardless of whether they were women or not; they took their time and liked to indulge in his lulling stories with charms, even if they were just as busy as anybody else in the hospital. She (later found out to be named Sami) seemed no exception to this rule as she entertained him throughout the shift by dropping by and giving various kinds of information in exchange for a joke or two.

   Air ambulances had the ring of great risks and adrenaline, but there was a lot less glamour attached to the job that one would hope. Transporting corpseless, artificially kept-alive organs through the state like a butcher delivery service irked Will. As morbid as it sounded, he was happy for every real emergency that sent their way to get away from the everyday duties that left him never knowing whose life was altered. Who was saved or not? Getting one Harmony Logan off of Mount Washington after a biking accident sounded a lot more like helping a person than arbitrarily pushing former human body parts around for hours to Will.   “And hey, Will, maybe we can get together for after-shift drinks” Sami’s words cut right through his train of thought as the paramedic got into the helicopter for the sixth time for the day, the third of which with her. “Sure” he’d told her absentmindedly, willing to push whatever really had been his post-shift plans for another couple hours without much of a second thought. They got up in the air in a good enough mood at three thirty-one pm and would most likely return before five;  average day, well enough outcome.

If life got busy it was tough luck and as the impact of the crash hit Will’s chest and neck, a realization hit him with almost the same brutal force. His date for the night had supposed to be the I.V. bag lying at home for five days too long. When life got busy, he was playing with his life on luck. Two missed days of treatment of factor eight and he knew what the natural percentage of his clotting factor returned to. Still, his first instinct was to look for Sami and the pilot. He was the paramedic and a bloody cough would not stop him from any of it. Will was out to assume the worst at all scenes, but as his heart steadily pumped at a heightened rate his eyes already seized the young nurse stirring on the ground as though she’d only been knocked to her knees in a clumsy tumble. All fine. A soft smile tugged at the corners of his mouth in relief, helping Sami to her feet in almost the same motion that he used to lean into the cockpit and assure himself of person number two. Anger mixed with atonement came billowing out of the pilot's mouth, too preoccupied with his mistake in the too harsh landing to respond to Will’s questions on his state of being but lively and on the move in their limited space that he, too, seemed fine. All back to himself then.

   His hand gently felt over his uniformed chest where he had brutally hit the inner walls of the helicopter. Dry as ever, no skin had broken at the place or any other and sent a wave of relief through Will’s body. Maybe, just maybe it would be fine until they got back. He’d rush to the E.R. and have someone hook him up as the last minutes of his break rung in. “We can’t take off” The repeating sentence, almost screamed in anger by the pilot, shouldn’t have been the first indicator that things weren’t fine anymore, but Will was determined not to be what his genetics dictated him to be. Fine, fine, fine his mind repeated with every step he made outside of the helicopter to look for whom they had come there for, fine he told himself as the metallic taste of blood started to replace any other sensation he felt and pooled in his mouth, only for him to spit the mixture if it and saliva onto the ground. Fine until the color of what now continuously wet the ground grew darker, redder, thicker. Until the masses of it forced Will to his knees this time, and a scream rung in his ears as though a tragedy unfolded before somebody’s eyes. But where?

   All he saw was the full terror and absolute horror in the girl’s eyes as she kneeled above his body. His mind knew that there’s nothing she could do for him but his instincts now screamed louder than any coherent thought for her to help him, save him from what was happening inside. Do anything than let him miserably choke on his own blood that wouldn’t just stop flowing, giving his life the short few final minutes until his body would either shut down completely or it found its way into his lungs and suffocated him first. For every breath he took now, there was a mouthful of the warm, red liquid that stained the surrounding ground and his face to make way for air that barely found its way inside. This was not supposed to be how it ended. There was no peace in his mind or heart and no one else to blame but himself. Suddenly he was at the center of everything again and there was nothing to do but bleed and slowly fade away to nothingness. The wetness on his face was not exclusively what was drained of him, but sudden tears. Only his own, he thought for a split moment, but what vision he’d left told him that they dripped down from Sami’s face, screwed up in shock, where they’d meet his.

   He was not twenty-five at that time as much as he was four years old when he first cut his hand and would not stop bleeding. He was thirteen and had gotten punched in the face at school for the first time with his teachers freaking out. He was twenty-one and on the doorstep of his parents for the first time in months, beaten and bruised. He was all those boys, but he was ultimately alone even with his hand held and faces surrounding his failing body. They couldn’t know what to do, Will had never told anyone about it, refused to acknowledge or bear the alert bracelet and would be one of many bleeder’s to bleed out for his own actions. It felt like trying to scream underwater to tell them what was wrong with him, why his body reacted so severely while everyone else’s did nothing, only that water didn’t drain his body and energy from it. Hemo was as far as he’d get before coughing fits and the struggle to breathe pushed aside any more attempts to vocalize. There was only one or the other, and the one thing kept him alive though unclear for how long when even pushing out the breath started to burn like every drop of blood he lost was replaced with fire burning the insides of his lungs. Will started to count his breaths, trying to slow his heart from pumping so rapidly to his demise but to no avail. It paradoxically tried to fight him instead of fighting for him. Eight. Nine. Ten. He barely even felt anything entering him with breath ten and knew, that should his body muster up another one, it would be his last. His hand clutched, harder than before, at Sami’s and blue eyes wide like never before-

Eleven.

There was that day, and then there were the six weeks of recovery after to learn what happened after breath eleven. Many days of that time were spent in the same walls of Jefferson Health that he’d left then so carefree, never to return the same. His brain was full-functional but the body too weak to leave, so that waking nights were too hard to escape. Closing his eyes haunted him, made him afraid it would be the last time that the motion would fulfill itself, so every morning a nurse was greeted with a faint smile paired with bloodshot blue eyes that had evaded the dark once more to pass out in the daylight, only to repeat the motions day for day. They never were Sami’s eyes that he would meet though, and as he asked for her or how she’d been doing, they told him that she had quit at Jefferson. There was no judgment, only bitterness that remained like the metallic taste on his tongue like a torturous reminder that he had done this to her. Gotten into an impossible situation and forced her to look on as he bled out onto her. Who would blame her?

   February 28th came early that year. He turned twenty-six and there was nothing he wished for. Nothing but one thing that, from that day on, glimmered on his left wrist without a fail. He faulted his parents for a lot of things but never for crying as they brought the very same gift to his hospital room as they had to his childhood bedroom for years and Will wearing the silver bracelet for the first time in his life. 

[gascon-en-exil]

Joining the Game Late: S4E5 “First of His Name”

Synopsis

Tommen is crowned and Cersei and Margaery continue to be catty near-in-laws. Dany’s plotting her conquest, but she’s losing control of Slaver’s Bay and also her not-boyfriend. Update on the Eyrie: Robin still creepy, Lysa also still creepy and now horny as well. The Lannister mines have all run dry, and nobody but Tywin knew about this. Arya’s to-kill list gets longer, but the Hound gives her a crucial lesson in armor penetration (or: why myrmidons suck against armors). Brienne and Podrick get up to wacky knight/squire hijinks. Cersei still remembers her daughter, and Oberyn remembers all eight of his. Jojen sees the mounting body count as Bran skips out on a Stark reunion and removes a budding minor antagonist in two minutes - that’s got to be screwing up Hodor though. Jon takes on the mutineers at Craster’s and wins, then the wives have them burn the place down.

Commentary

Daenerys’s single scene in this episode gave me so many opportunities for confirmation bias and FE references, between Jorah and Barristan’s separate positions on siege prospects mirroring Thracia 776′s two advisor figures and Dany’s Edelgard-esque trust issues rearing up again as the cities she conquered are now rebelling because she didn’t think this through beyond “take all the cities, kill all the slavers and make everyone love me.” This also neatly ties into the question Talisa posed to Robb back when they first met and that Robb never got to answer because he fell into a romance plot and then died. Hooray for dropped thematic threads.

Enough about the one-scene wonder though. Lysa Arryn’s back and her corner of the story is as demented as ever, now featuring screaming orgasms and domestic abuse because she really doesn’t like that the object of her affections/obsession likes to sleep around (or does he? Littlefinger may own a bunch of brothels and is perving on Sansa because she looks like her mother, but he’s never had a sex scene and before this hour doesn’t seem to have ever had sex on the show. Has he slept with anyone other than Lysa?). I have to say that the big reveal that she and Littlefinger are responsible for instigating the conflict that kicked off the entire show came off a bit stilted, as though the writers couldn’t think of a better way to work that into the story so they just had Lysa blurt out that she’d poisoned her husband and framed the Lannisters for it - and then Littlefinger gently tells her to shut up about it, to let us know that everyone involved gets that it’s awkward dialogue and is only somewhat defensible because Lysa has never been a model of sanity. At least her son finally seems to have stopped breastfeeding.

I haven’t got much to say about the big action climax or the near-meeting between Jon and Bran, except that it was a good fakeout by the show to build up Locke as an ongoing threat after what he did with Jaime only to have him killed off with little fanfare or consequence except that Hodor might be (even more) traumatized now. Craster’s keep and the depravity it symbolizes burn to the  ground and his wives resolve to make their own way after one of them retaliated against the leader of the mutineers at just the right time for Jon to kill him. It would all be very empowering if they weren’t surrounded by wilderness and hadn’t just rejected shelter in the only semi-fortified stronghold for a very long way. Oh well. *shrugs*

Cersei, though, now she had some good bits this time. Not so much her scene with Tywin which is just setting up the Lannisters’ newfound(?) money problems and the Iron Bank of Braavos, but the two scenes where she reflects on her feelings for her children to characters she emphatically does not like or trust are both more of Cersei at her best. It’s particularly interesting as I expected her to be more threatening to both Margaery and Oberyn, but instead she has a rare moment of candor with each wherein she admits that Joffrey was a nightmare and that she still misses and fears for her daughter in Dorne. She’s also more resigned to the fact that Margaery will inevitably end up betrothed to her other son now, less so because she likes the Tyrells any more than she did before and more because now she knows that they’re going to be essential in managing the royal debt. Playing nice with people you hate for financial reasons is a game I know very well, so turning the Lannisters into (secret, somehow) impoverished aristocrats is a great way to make them more sympathetic in my eyes as well as destabilize their firm grip on the continent as the story wears on.

[daisyxbuckley]

O’Death//Calliope Kane Book 2

Description: The Grounders have been defeated. The people on the Ark have landed safely….so where is the rest of The 100? Calliope and her friends must work in a race against time to save everyone..no matter the cost. 

*****************************************************************************************   "And though we thought the world was hard, even harder still it will be."

The walk back to Camp was silent. Callie had tried to stay behind to help the wounded but Nyko told her that it was okay for her to go. When they had reached the camp, Abby and the other guards took Finn, Murphy and Callie away from the group, though Callie was led away from the other boys.

The room they took her too, it turns out, was hers. Callie looked around at how it was set up as Abby spoke to the two guards on how to handle Murphy and Finn. Hearing the door shut, Callie just stared out the small window refusing to turn around.

"What happened out there?" Abby asked quietly. The older woman took in the state of the girl in front of her. Arms crossed, closed off. Blood that wasn't her spread over her hands and clothes. Callie looked like she had been through hell and back, and considering everything that had happened, Abby didn't blame her.

Callie finally looked at Abby and noticed the same thing, that she was tired and defeated. That she was as lost as the kids were. But she also noticed something else and that was when Callie realized that she hadn't seen her father.

"Abby...where's my dad?" Callie asked as the woman sighed.

"He left two days ago to go speak to the Grounder Commander." Callie's eyes went wide as she stared at Abby in horror.

"Are you out of your mind?!" She yelled as she started for the door when Abby stopped her. Callie turned around and looked at the hand on her arm before meeting the woman's eyes.

"Calliope, you're not allowed to leave." Abby said as she moved in front of the girl. Callie looked at her with a shocked look on her face.

The hell I can't." She said moving out of Abby's grasp. "My father knows I am a grown ass woman and I can take care of myself."

"Your father is the one who said to keep you here." Abby said finally.

"Of course he did. Because even on the ground he can't help but control me." She spat. Abby sighed and went over to the door, opening and revealing a guard. "Are you serious? I have to have a guard outside now?"

"Callie you have clean clothes in your bathroom. Get cleaned up and you can leave your room, but you're not allowed to leave the camp." Abby said quietly as she walked out. Callie sighed and shook her head as she walked into the bathroom to her left.

The redhead had to admit that the shower felt good. It had been a bit since she was able to get really clean and not just by getting into a river. Sighing as she shut the water off, she wrapped a towel around her hair and started drying off. Throwing on her underwear and bra, Callie looked at the clothes that were given to her and sighed. The pants were a bit big but she had lost a lot of weight being on earth. She laced her boots up over the bottoms and and stood up. Her pale skin was littered with bruises and cuts from the past few weeks. Some new and some healing.

The marks on her neck had started fading away to an ugly yellow, but Callie was just happy they were fading. Throwing the maroon tank top on, she tucked it into her pants and put her belt on. Quickly throwing her hair into a braid she opened the door and walked out.

Raven sitting on her bed was not what she had expected. The brunette girl had a brace on her leg but she looked like she was feeling a bit better. They hadn't really talked, let alone been in the same room together since the drop ship.

"So your dads got the princess locked in the tower huh?"" Raven said shooting Callie a grin while nodding towards the door.

"Yeah, I guess he thinks if he does I won't run off again." Callie said shrugging as she leaned against the table. "What's up?"

Raven's grin widened and Callie grew to realize that when she smiled like that she had a plan. "I need you to come with me. I want to show you something." She said standing up. Callie smiled a bit as she sighed and threw her jacket on.

"Fine, lets go." Callie said opening the door. The guard looked a bit surprised to see her. "What, I'm allowed to leave my room right?" She asked him.

The guard looked a little flustered as he tried to think of an answer. "She will be fine. She's coming to help me look at something." Raven said grabbing Callie's hand as they walked away. Raven led Callie outside to a group that was sitting together. As they got closer she recognized a familiar head of brunette hair. The group looked at them as Raven watched Finn's form walk away.

"Have you spoken to him yet?" Callie asked and Raven shook her head.

"No point. He won't talk to me about it." Raven said shrugging. "I don't know the details and I don't want to know." Callie nodded as they walked towards the group.

"Murphy, James beat it." Raven said.

"Who died and made you queen?" James asked as Murphy stood up.

"I did. Besides aren't you late for your guard shift anyways?" Raven asked as she crossed her arms. James huffed and headed towards the gate.

Raven turned towards Clarke as the blonde stood up. "So I figured out why we haven't heard from any other Ark stations. Mount Weather has been jamming us." She said

Clarke shot a look at Callie as the girl shrugged back at her. "Show me." She said as Raven nodded. Following her into Engineering, Callie sat in the chair while Clarke stood behind her.

"So I tweaked the resonator and got this." Raven said as she showed the girls the sound over the speakers. "It's on every frequency so long range communication is totally screwed." She turned the radio off and looked at the other two. "It's the same reason the range on our walkies is shit and it's the same noise that Monty heard on the black box for the exodus ship."

Callie turned the sound back on and listened, remembering Monty saying something about it. "Mount Weather crashed the exodus ship..." she said slowly, "Can you get a signal around it?"

"Around it, no. But if I can get to the tower that broadcasts it, then I can make it go boom." Raven said grinning.

Clarke and Callie smiled along with Raven realizing what this meant. Before they could say anything though, Abby had come up behind them.

"No one is going anywhere." She said crossing her arms. Clarke's eyes rolled as a sigh escaped her mouth.

"Mom listen-"

"No you listen." Abby said, her voice firm. "What do I have to do to get through to you? You and your friends are not soldiers. And continuing to act as if you are puts lives at risk." Abby said giving Clarke the same look her daughter was giving her.

Callie and Raven glanced at each other. It was evident where Clarke got her attitude from.

"Abby I understand your worry and we may not be soldiers, but we are the ones that have been down here for the past few months fighting to stay alive." Callie said calmly.

"Mom." Clarke said coming up by Callie. "You don't understand. Raven found something. Mount Weather is jamming our communications."

"It's true. There could be other Ark stations that survived. We could of gotten to the station Mel came from sooner." Raven said.

"And more guards. You said that we don't have enough people to fight two wars. Mom we are already fighting one." Clarke said as Major Bryne walked in.

"Grounder retaliation for the massacre could happen at any moment. We need everyone here." She said.

"So let us go!" Callie said, her voice raising a bit.

"You’re not giving this up are you?" Abby asked as she sighed looking at three girls. Shaking her head, Callie looked at the other two before answering.

"Not until our friends are home."

"Fine. But I am coming with you." Abby said uncrossing her arms.

"Mom, I just said-"

"It's been quiet for two days. Maybe Kane is making headway with the new Commander." Abby said slowly.

Callie's fist clenched a bit hearing her father's name. She felt Clarke's hand on her shoulder and gave her a squeeze.

"Or maybe he's dead and they are moving against us as we speak." Bryne said avoiding Callie's glare.

"Maybe. And that's why we need more guards." Abby said. Clarke nodded and looked around.

"Then it's settled. We are going back to Mount Weather."

-----------------------------------

The group had headed out about an hour after everything was decided. Bryne and Abby decided to bring four guys along to help, even though Callie thought it would be a bad idea. She hung out towards the back with Bellamy and Octavia. Some of it was because she didn't want him out of her sight. But most of it was because the three of them had set up a plan with Clarke.

"I can't believe they let Finn come along." Octavia hissed. Callie noticed the changes in the girl. She was hardened, the ground both closed her off and brought out the girl that she needed to be.

"He's our best tracker. And right now we need that." Bellamy replied. His hand had slipped down to Callie's and brushed his fingers against hers.

"How you doing Red?" He whispered. Octavia's eyes were trained on the back of Finn's head as she walked ahead leaving the two by themselves.

"Well, taking an actual shower helped." She said laughing slightly. Her other hand absentmindedly went to the necklace that was still around her neck.

"Well yeah, I noticed that you lost about a pound a dirt." Bellamy said joking around. Callie scoffed and held her hand to her heart.

"I'm hurt. That really wounds me Blake." She said laughing. "What about you?"

"Better now that you're back. I was worried about you." He said quietly. "You need to stop putting yourself in dangerous situations."

Callie shot him a grin and shook her head. "Well then they need to stop happening.” As they were talking, Octavia had pulled back the group. Catching their eyes she nodded.

Bellamy and Callie followed Octavia silently through the woods. Looking back she noticed that Clarke had slightly turned her head to look at them as they slipped into the trees.

They had been walking a bit as they all kept an eye out for what they were looking for. "According to Clarke, after the bombs dropped some of the buildings survived. I'm guessing that some of them had access to the bunker." Bellamy said looking at the girls. "So look for ruins, anything that had been man made."

The girls nodded as they slowly started to spread out.

"Blake, hey Blake. What the hell do you think you're doing?" Sgt Scott said catching up to them. Callie and Octavia looked at each other as Bellamy turned around and looked at the man. "Let's go. All three of you." Scott said as Bellamy shook his head.

"Have you forgotten that I'm not under your command." He said as he continued to look around.

Sgt Scott looked exasperated. "Come on Blake. Let's not do this the hard way." He said as he put his hand on his shock stick.

"Come on Scott. 47 of our people are prisoners in that mountain." Bellamy said facing him.

"That's why we are here. To find them."

"No, You're out here to find the other stations." Callie said stepping forward. "We are here to find our friends."

"Bell." Octavia whispered as the attention went to her. Looking down they all noticed the bugs running across the forest floor. "What are they doing?" Scott asked.

"Running. We need to go." Bellamy said quickly. "It's acid fog, we need to take cover."

Octavia started running in the direction that the bugs were going as Bellamy started running after her. "O, O get back here!" He yelled hoping he had his tent in his bag.

"Bell, there is something here! I think it might be some ruins!" Octavia yelled as she skidded to a stop. Callie started following her with Bellamy and Scott following close behind. The girl quickly caught up to Octavia and tried to find a place that they could hide out.

"Hey over here." Bellamy yelled as he found a door. The door was shut tight but he was able to get a grip on it with Scott's help. Noticing a few more guards show up, Bellamy kept the door opened as long as he could. One of them made it inside, however one was still too far away and ended up getting swallowed by the fog. His screams were still ringing in their ears when Bellamy let the door shut with a bang.

"God Damn It!" Scott yelled hitting the tunnel wall. Bellamy put a hand on his shoulder as the older man calmed down. "There was nothing you could of done." He said quietly.

"Tuning around the group turned on flashlights and looked around. "Where are we?" Scott asked as they swept the light trying to make it cut through the darkness.

"Looks like a garage." Bellamy said as he started forward a bit looking around.

"More like a tomb." Octavia whispered under her breath. Callie nodded in agreement as she tried to pull her coat further around her. The chill in the tunnels made the place feel like something that you go die in...not something that you stay in to hide out.

Bellamy started walking down the tunnel when Scott put his hand out to stop him. "Hey not so fast." Scott said giving Bellamy a look.

"Look i'm sorry about you men but we need to find an access door so we can get inside Mt. Weather and save our friends." He said looking at his sister.

"Sir the fog is going to keep us here-"

"Take this. We will split up." Scott said handing Bellamy a pistol. "Look around and be back here in fifteen minutes. The trio nodded as Scott and the other guard headed down one tunnel and they started down the others.

"God, why is it so damn creepy down here?" Callie asked as she looked around. The light from the flashlight in her hands but it was so dark that it barley cut through a fraction of the thick blackness making the redhead shudder even more from what was probably watching them. "Octavia, what are these Reapers exactly?" She asked looking at the girl.

"Lincoln didn't say much. Just that they weren't someone that you wanted to deal with." Octavia said quietly. Cal knew that bringing up Lincoln was a sore spot for the brunette and it broke her heart knowing that she couldn't do anything for her.

Callie slowed as she passed another tunnel to the left of them. The sound was faint but she was sure that she had heard it. "Guys.....do you hear that?" She asked as The Blake siblings looked over at her as Bellamy walked over.

"It sounds like a music box." He said quietly looking at the girls. Callie and Octavia shared glances as O let out a scoff and Callie squeezed her eyes shut.

"Yeah, like we need this shit to get any weirder." She whispered as they inched closer. Bellamy stuck a hand out and handed the pistol to Octavia, taking his gun off his back. Callie positioned her own in her hands and they crept closer in a group.

Seeing a form leaning over a body, Callie and Bellamy raised their guns. SGT Scott was laying on the floor, his head turned towards them with a glassy look falling over his eyes. His guts were spilled everywhere and Bellamy and Callie both suppress a gag.

The reaper was leaning over his body, slurping up the insides of the man like he was eating spaghetti and Callie thought she was going to be sick. Bellamy looked like he was about to shoot the man when Octavia put her hand on his gun lowering it.

"Don't. It's Lincoln..." She said quietly. Slowly walking towards him Octavia had her hands up and out in front of her. She tried to appear calm but Callie could see the girl shaking from where she was standing. "Lincoln...it's me. It's Octavia."

For a second it seemed like he was listening to her. Till he lunged at her snarling and grabbing for her arms. Bellamy ran over and knocked him out looking at the girls before looking down at his form.

"We need to go. NOW" He said as they all turned around and ran. They ran through the tunnels trying to find a way out, knowing if they didn't they were going to turn out like Scott and his men. Octavia stopped running behind them causing Callie to skid to a stop, running into the back of Bellamy.

"He's a Reaper. How is that even possible?" She gasped out. She looked like she was about five seconds away from losing it.

Bellamy walked over and put his hands on his sisters shoulders making her look at him. "I don't know. We will get him back, but we need to get out of here before we end up like Scott." Octavia nodded as he grabbed her hand and started running again. Running to the end of the tunnel, they looked for a place to hide out.

"Guys, over here!" Callie yelled as they followed her to an old run down car. Prying the door open with a piece of metal the girl sighed in relief as she noticed enough room for them all. Piling in Bellamy closed the door and all three laid down. Callie was laying with her head on Bellamy's chest, his arm wrapped around her and Octavia laid over the redheads legs trying to make herself smaller. Callie reached down and gripped Octavia's hand and squeezed it. The brunette was holding on for dear life it seemed and though the feeling in Callie's hand was fading, she didn't care.

Looking up they all stared at the dark figure walking by. His shadow fell over the window as he stopped and looked around. Callie held her breath and closed her eyes thinking they were for sure caught. That they were going to die right there without anyone knowing. Finally Lincoln walked away and the group collectively let out a breath.

"We need to get him out of here." Octavia whispered towards the other two as they all sat up. Callie noticed that though Bellamy's hand moved from her waist, he still kept it on her thigh.

"No, we need to get the hell out of here." He hissed back as Octavia opened her mouth to try and argue.

"Look, let's get him back to the drop ship and we will go from there, okay." Callie said putting a hand over the girls. "But the first thing is we need to figure out a plan and get out of here alive."

Bellamy and Octavia nodded as they all figure out a plan. Callie just hoped it wouldn't get them killed in the process.

[clemenpoint]

Meeting

For @rdrrequests !! (Hope you like it!!)

Javier x OC (Edith)

___________________

Javier sat at the wooden table, boredom plaguing his mind. He was playing around with his most precious knife, of course stolen. He hasn’t done much all day. He really wanted to fish, but everyone in the camp were “too busy.” Even Uncle tried saying he’s too busy, as if.

His eyes wondered to Miss. Grimshaw who was entering a small, black tent. A young girl that Arthur and Hosea had found was staying in there. Javier doesn’t know too much information since Micah entered the tent in a drunken stateand attempted to rape the poor girl. Miss. Grimshaw has now been heavily guarding the tent with her shotgun from any of the men.

Javier had curiosity take over him and he began meandering over towards the tent. Miss. Grimshaw came out, shotgun in hand. Her eyes immediately landed on Javier and she brought the shotgun up quick. “Jesus Christ senõrita! You can’t be pulling that out on anybody!”

“I don’t trust any of you bastards anymore! Trying to harm this young girl, aren’t ya?”

“No! I just want to meet her! I’m not like that puto Micah.” Miss. Grimshaw lowered the gun slightly. “I guess I trust you a bit more than that sewer rat,” she put the gun away. “You can talk to here, but no sudden moves and please be kind.”

“Thank you.” Javier nodded and entered the tent. The tent was tiny, Javier had to bend slightly and all it could fit was a bed and a small table. The girl in question was sitting on the woren out bed, eating some of Mr. Pearson’s somewhat edible deer stew. Immediately Javier was captivated by her. She was extremely thin, almost dangerously and he skin was extremely pale. Her hair shined out in it’s gorgeous yellow color. Though it was slightly matted due to her roughen state, it still shined beautifully.

She looked up from her stew. Her eyes were a shimmering and bright blue. Javier was almost choked up by her complexion. She became frightened by him, unsurprisingly and quickly scooted way in a panic. “Senõrita! It’s okay! Don’t freak out! I only want to talk with you!” The girl was slightly shaking by she stopped and stared at the strange man.

Javier pulled up the log behind him and sat on it, taking off his bowler hat. "I apologise if I frightened you, ma'am. I promise you I have no intention of harming you. What my friend, if I should even call him that, attempted to do to you was horribly disgusting and I want to apologise from the deepest pit of my heart." Javier looked deep into her eyes to show how genuine his apology is.

Javier looked down at his feet and stood up to leave. It wasn't much, but he felt like an apology was needed. "Wait!" Javier quickly turned around and the girl had now crawled to the edge of the bed, closer to him.

"It wasn't you fault. Why'd you apologise?"

"I-I don't know. It was just really disgusting what he did to you. I felt as part of the gang it was part of my responsibility to apologise to you." The girl stared at him blankly for a second, but smile quickly spreader across her face. Her gorgeous grin made Javier's face hot and his throat dry.

"What's your name, mister?"

"Javier Escuella. What about you, senõrita?"

"Edith. Edith Finch. I like your name though. It's quite unique," Javier was too distracted by her captivating smile that the compliment flew right over his head. "Please sit back down. I feel awkward being the only one sitting." Javier nodded and quickly start back down on the log.

"So, if you don't mind me asking, how'd you get here? I know my amigos Arthur and Hosea brought you here, but what happened to you?" Edith sat back slightly and bit her lip, nervous.

"To keep a very long story short, I'm an orphanage who ended working for them rich folk, the Blaires. The new man of house, Jedidiah, had some screws lose up here," Edith tapped the side of head. "And he hated me and locked me in a basement. He rarely fed me. I was weak and hadn't seen sunlight for so long. A dear man to me and the one who raised me told your friends Arthur and Hosea I was there when they were robbing the plantation and they took me back. I'm so very grateful."

"Do you miss him? The man who raised you?"

"His name is Tom and of course. Everyone who worked on the plantation were the family I never had." Javier leaned forward and took his hand from his lap and placed it gently on top of Edith's. Edith's head quickly shot to his hand and a blush spread across her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry for all that has happened to you. But we'll be your family now. The two stared at each other in the eyes. Each other's stomachs twisting from the other.

"Um so uh," Javier sat back up straight and cleared his throat. He was slightly embarrassed from touching her. Her hand was so smooth though. "Do you wanna get out of this stuffy tent? You've been in here for what, four days? You must be half way to death by now, chica."

Edith chuckled slightly. "I guess your right. What do you wanna do?"

"You like to fish?"

"I've never been. Is it fun?" Javier shot from his log which slightly spooked Edith. "You must come with me! It's very fun! Come!" Javier grabbed her hand and nearly yanked her arm from her socket as he ran out of the tent.

"What are you doing with her?!" Miss. Grimshaw yelled as the two sprinted from the tent. "Just going fishing! Trust me! Don't get your bragas in a twist, chica!"

Javier scooped up two fishing poles by his tent and lead Edith to his horse. "Come, come! Get on!" Javier picked up Edith with the ease of picking up a flower. She squeaked slightly as he held her in his arms.

He gently placed her on his horse and mounted it himself. He pulls the reigns back and horse jerks itself around. The horse speeds off when the reigns slap against the horse and it speeds off.

Edith bounces like crazy so she slides her arms around Javier's waist to hold in. Javier looks down as her small arms slip around him and her front presses against his back.

Javier smiles and a light blush touches his cheeks. Edith felt fuzzy to. She felt warm against his body as it radiated body heat and he surprisingly smelled good for an outlaw.

_________________

"This is the best fishing spot ever. Don't tell anyone about it." Javier lifts Edith off the horse and places her gently on her feet. The fishing location sat in the middle of nowhere in the woods. It was a small stream connected to a tiny pond.

"Here," Javier hands Edith one of his two wooden rods. She takes it and quietly follows Javier to the bank. Javier holds the rod under his armpit and picks up the hook. He shoves his hand in his pocket and takes out a small, dead worm and shoves it on the hook. He turns to Edith and does the same on her hook.

"I'll show you how to cast it. Here," Javier goes behind Edith and gently placed his hands on each of her elbows. Edith's cheeks go red and her stomach twists. "Hold it up like this," Javier moves her arms do the rod is sticking up in the air.

"Whip it behind your shoulder then fling forward." Javier moves her arms to do what he said and the line flies out and lands on the water. Edith laughs lightly. "That's so cool!"

"Now keep your hand on the reel so when you feel a tug on the string, quickly reel it in." Javier moved from her elbow and placed her hand on top of the reel. And almost like they got shock by an electric pole, a current seemed to flow through each other as their hands were placed together.

Edith turned around, rod in her right hand, and placed her hand gently on Javier's cheek. Javier was already a bit short, but Edith was practically child sized so she stared up into his eyes.

She stood on her tippy toes and placed a tiny kiss on his lips. "Thank you." She turned back around to face the water.

Javier's stomach twisted and shock fell over him as he attempted to understand what just happened. He stood there for a minute and watched her back. What a charming little girl.

He picked up his rod and casted the line.

[darkhymns-fic]

So a DJ and an MC Meet on a Mountain... Take 2

There's only one person Marina wants to start a band with.

Fandom: Splatoon Characters/Pairing: Pearl/Marina Rating: G Mirror Links: AO3 Notes: Follow-up chapter written by Sky!

Previous Chapter

“Yo, yo, I’m Pearl, what’s the dealio, you think you’re something? You’re just keel haul, yo!” Pearl shouted into the wind. She let out a sigh. “Man, that was whack.”

Marina had been waiting for this moment! She’d come back to Mount Nantai every day for the past week, trekking up the winding paths, getting a lot sweatier than she’d like to admit, and hoping she’d see that girl again.

She’d been in Inkopolis for a few days, but it was frightening. There were so many squidlings, so many buildings, so many people that were not… her people. They didn’t seem so different, yet still she knew they way they stared at her, she felt the way they stared at her. Her clothes weren’t right, her hair wasn’t right, her way of speaking wasn’t right. Not to mention she had nowhere to be, had no money to her name.

Out here in the open, away from everything, away from everyone she felt safe. Safe, but lonely. That Pearl girl, she didn’t make Marina feel uncomfortable, she didn’t feel nervous around Pearl. What was it about her? Was it her short stature? Was it her cute kid-like voice? Or maybe it was just her blunt personality? Marina wasn’t sure. But she couldn’t stay quiet, she didn’t want to sit in the shadows anymore. She wanted to talk to someone again. She couldn’t talk to anyone else but her.

“Hey! Hello!” Marina called out timidly, tapping the hopping mad Pearl’s shoulder. “It’s, um, me again!”

Pearl’s little body instantly bounced away in fright, her crown nearly toppling off her head. “WHOA, DUDE,” she screeched. “You can, like, NOT sneak up on me, okay!?” She was practically wheezing, her legs trembling. “I, I would have, like,” She needed time to catch her breath. “I could have splatted you, bro!”

Marina could only smile. It felt wrong, but she couldn’t help it. “Sorry.” She laughed.

Pearl frowned hard. Her stubby legs trembled, but not because of fear anymore. “Yo, you think I’m a joke?! Think I don’t go for broke?! You best step off before I blend you into an egg yolk! I’ll ink ya up to your tentacles, I’ll leave ya dry and feed ya to the gulls! You think you’re so hot, tall, dark and handsome? I’ll stuff you in my closet and hold you for ransom!”

Marina couldn’t hold her smile back. It had been a week since she had smiled again, and she wouldn’t lose it. She was desperate to hold onto that feeling. This girl was so spunky, so bouncy, so bubbly, yet somehow even while threatening to kidnap and splat her, Marina wasn’t afraid?

“That was amazing!” Marina laughed, her cheeks hurting from smiling so much. “Did you think up all of that on the spot? Although, I think maybe drop that egg line.”

Pearl glared, keeping silent for a moment, wind blowing through her short tentacle hair. “Yeah, you right,” she said with a shrug. “I’ve been spittin’ mad whack rhymes lately. Like I got some kinda mind virus or something.”

Marina felt the tightness of her goggles suddenly, straining, pressing against her. “Yeah. I know that feeling.” She paused, afraid to say too much. “But everything else was mad fresh!”

“You really think so? For eel?”

If anyone else had said those lines to her, if anyone else had been talking to her, she would have said no. But something about the way she said it, the way she was so animated, the way her voice cracked as she screamed it, it sounded so… cute? But at the same time, it was cool. Like, really cool. Like, she didn’t care what anyone thought of her! Marina envied that. She wanted to feel like that.

“Damn straight!” Marina said awkwardly. It still took some getting used to. But she wanted to say it!

It was Pearl’s turn to laugh this time. “Girl, you’re weird! But I like that ‘bout you. You got like, you got just something weird goin’ on…” She motioned with her hands towards Marina’s body and stared hard, inspecting again. “But I like it! Makes the ink flow, knawmsayin?” She poked at her big head and grinned. “Like, you so weird, but it makes me think, yo.”

She wasn’t sure what took over her at that moment. Pearl made her feel comfortable, made her feel like she could say anything. So she just said it. Without thinking.

“Yeah, bet that doesn’t happen too often, huh?” Marina laughed. Almost instantly after, she felt a bolt of lightning run down where her spine would be if she had one. Oh, no, what are you doing? Why are you insulting her?! Her ink froze, her body went cold. She was about to lose her only chance at a friend. “I am so sor-”

“Sick comeback!” Pearl shouted, an eager smile across her lips. “You ain’t as limp as you look! You got some teeth under those tentacles, don’t ya?”

Images of heavy machinery and cold deadly weapons rushed past her mind. She didn’t want to think about that. Marina smiled sheepishly. “Ahah, I guess so?”

Pearl crossed her arms, as if expecting more. “Ya know, shame you’re not like… a musician or anything. Talkin’ to you is nice and all, and you got some mad weird style, but….”

Her heart almost exploded out of her chest. She didn’t think she’d get the chance! She didn’t think she’d be able to bring it up! She had to!

“Actually, I’ve been working on-”

 “Shame! Gotta go!” Pearl shrugged, already walking backwards down the hill.

“Wait! Pearl, but!”

“Wish I could! I gotta gig to get to! And I need to look fresh! Yo, MC Princess needs all the work she can get, ya know?” She winked, and finger gunned as she slowly walked below the hills’ view. It was an image Marina would not be able to forget. “See ya later, Marina!”

She should have chased after her. Marina should have made her listen. But… There was always next time. Right?

It wasn’t long before Pearl was back again. It was only a few days this time as opposed to a week. Marina felt that rush of adrenaline at the sight of her, how the sunset sparkled off her big white head, how her crown lit up like flame. This was the only time Marina could speak, the only time that mattered.

“Yo yo yo, Marina!” Pearl laughed. “Here again! Figured ya would be.” She paused. “Still kinda weird you always show up here though.”

“You could always go somewhere else, you know,” Marina said back, a sassy smile across her lips. Her ink froze again, as somewhere dark inside her dreaded that Pearl would do just that and leave her all alone up on this mountain.

Pearl’s eyes widened as if she had never actually thought about that. “Pffft, girl, guess you right.” Luckily, Pearl didn’t seem to want to leave either. “This mountain sucks. I’m startin’ to think the only reason I come here is for you, ya know?”

Her heart pounded to the beat of her song, Marina felt herself becoming more confident, surer of herself. Something she could never feel out on her own.

“You lookin’ at me weird,” Pearl said, her brows furrowed and her fingers pointing. She was always very fidgety, wasn’t she? Always very animated. “Is there somethin’ weird on my face??”

“Yeah, your face,” Marina teased. She didn’t worry as much this time.

“Hey!!” Pearl said, angry in such a way that again didn’t seem threatening. “You’re one to talk with… with your… hair!”

“Nice.”

Pearl let out an exhausted sigh. It was the first time Marina had ever seen it. Like her squiddy little soul just left her body and floated away to the farthest respawner it could find.

“I know. I know, that was whack,” Pearl admitted. “I’ve just been in, like, such a funk, ya know? I feel like…. yo… I feel like I’m not like… improving, you know?”

Marina frowned, feeling a strange kinship with her. “Stagnating?”

“Naw, I dunno what beetle dating has to do with this,” Pearl said with a completely straight face. Wow, she really meant that. “I just feel like… I need something, yo! Something different! Something wild and fresh and hip and new! Something off the hook, ya know?”

Marina went quiet. Her heart was pounding. This was her chance. She felt her hands tense, ready to reach for her phone, to show Pearl what she’d been working on. But for some reason she didn’t do it. Move your fingers, Marina, come on!

“Sorry to drag the mood down,” Pearl said turning away. “I should be headin’ back anyway. Seems like this dumb mountain just ain’t doin the trick anymore. Maybe I’ll see ya around some other time.” She didn’t walk backwards this time, she didn’t bounce with each step down the path.

You worked too hard to get here, Marina. You can’t screw this up. Come on, put yourself out there!

But you’re an Octoling! They’ll recognize you! You can’t be consorting with a celebrity! That’s the opposite of laying low! They’ll toss you out, they’ll splat you till you can’t take it anymore!

But I came here to change things. I left to do something different! Be someone different! I can’t just leave and hide away forever, I don’t want things to stay the same!

“Pearl!” Marina shouted, grabbing the small woman’s shoulders a little too forcefully. “Wait!”

“Girl, you trippin?” Pearl growled. “I wanna go back to my crib and wallow in some mad despair, yo!”

“Shut up a second!” Marina said hurriedly. “I’ve got a track I’ve been working on! I want you to hear it!”

Pearl tilted her head and suddenly any annoyance that was inked across her face was wiped clean. “For eel? You a musician?”

Marina nodded, already pulling out her glowing little earbuds. She hoped Pearl wouldn’t notice the octopus on them. Then again, she didn’t notice the octopus tentacles on her head, so she’d probably be fine. “Well, I’m… I’m kind of new, I guess, but I’ve always wanted to be in a band!”

“Girl, I don’t wanna hear no amateur garbage.”

But Marina was already kneeling down to put the earbuds in, whether Pearl liked it or not! “Shush, just listen.” Adrenaline coursed through her inky veins as she hit play on her old beat up phone.

She would never forget the next moment. The way Pearl’s frown couldn’t help but turn upside down. The way her eyes lit up, the way her foot started tapping against the old dirt road, how her head bobbed slightly, her cute little tentacles swaying with each motion.

“Yo, yo, yo!!!” Pearl howled, her little body springing to action. “That $%#! was fire!” Her eyes were still shining like the pearls she was so aptly named after. But they were seeing Marina. Really seeing her this time. “You made this? That’s you singin’??”

Marina was breathless. She had been dreading it. Dreading that Pearl would hate it. She didn’t even know she was dreading it till now, till she felt her body almost melt away into an inky mess. All she could do was nod. She was doing everything she could to not slip into her Octopus form.

“Damn, girl, you’re great!” She said, still hopping with the beat. She snatched the phone from Marina, opting to press play to hear it again. “Yeah, yeah, yeah! I mean, don’t get me wrong, this is still pretty newbie stuff!” She nodded, suddenly very serious. This girl knew her stuff. “And honestly? It sounds kind of… sad?” She tilted her head, trying her best to articulate her thoughts, which was fairly difficult for Pearl. “Like… lonely. Not that that’s so bad, but I don’t think Inklings really want sad, ya feel me?”

Marina still held her breath. Was she that obvious? That see through? She didn’t mean for her sadness and her loneliness to get through to the song.

Pearl must have read Marina’s facial expressions, maybe even her mind. “No, no, but it’s… it’s not bad! I think, hmm…. I think maybe you just need a partner! Someone talented, someone amazing!”

Despite the way her legs trembled, despite her worry, Marina still managed to sneak in some sass. “So not you then, I guess?”

Laughter exploded out of Pearl like dynamite. “You are like, way too funny! No one ever gives me sass, ya know? It’s hella boring!” She stopped to catch her breath. “So, like… you have heard of me right? You’ve heard my songs, yeah? What do you think?”

“I’ve, uh, I heard I think one of your more recent songs,” Marina said sheepishly. It was in an old record store in the bargain bin section. “Dudes be sleepin?”

“You mean #$@%* Dudes Be #$@%* Sleepin!”

“Right.”

“Well, come on, don’t leave a squid hangin! What’d you think?”

It wasn’t bad! Marina really did like it! But… it was so angry. A very very angry song. Pearl’s voice was louder than anything! There was no one to hold her back a little, there was no one to keep her in line! Also, it was really weird how they kept that window shattering part in. But there was something so authentic about it, something so Pearl about it. Even with all the guitars and the screaming, she was still so cute?

She told her as much. Mostly. Marina left out the cute part.

“Aw, girl, you aint bein’ straight with me!” Pearl said with another laugh. “I know that track was whack! That was where my funk started! That lame song is why I’m up here!”

“Maybe… maybe I could help?” Marina asked, almost begging.

“Yo, you know what?!” Pearl shouted, trying to put her arm around Marina’s shoulders but finding that metaphorical mountain too hard to climb. She settled for around her waist. Close enough. “Why don’t you come chill in my crib?! I’ve got some actually decent equipment you could use!”

Before Marina could reply, her stomach spoke for her. Growling louder than she’d ever heard before.

Pearl laughed. “Got the munchies huh? We’ll stop by Crusty Sean’s and get you something. That cool? Also…” She sniffed. “… Maybe we could get you a shower too. No offense. And I got some sick duds you could wear instead of that weird getup.”

Everything was suddenly moving so fast! Marina could hardly keep up. She nodded, worried she’d fall right there on the spot. Luckily Pearl was holding on tight, making sure she wouldn’t lose her balance.

“Aw yeah!” Pearl shouted. “This is gonna be off the hook!”

[lordmattuk]

How do you stop being depressed?

Dear God, I wish I knew the answer to that one. I do know that given enough time each bout of depression passes. Sometimes fast; sometimes slow. It is what you do while you wait that makes the difference.

I do not have a story from my life to give you as an answer but here is everything I know about living with depression (in no particular order except item zero):

0. Depression is a liar

Depression tries to say things like, “this is never going to get better, I’m the only one, no one will understand, people will think I am weak…” Thoughts like these are lies depression tells you to keep you down.

Depression is a liar. Do not listen to it.

1. Talking helps

Being honest with friends and family you can trust makes the journey easier. You still have to go through it but know there are people that will listen makes it seem less difficult.

I thought I was the only one that felt the way I did. So I hid it. All through my teenage years, I kept my depression secret. It turned out though that my sister, my dad, and my uncle all faced similar demons.

2. Get rid of stressful people and drama queens

Boy or girl, drama queens just sap the strength you should use to face depression. While it might feel like doing the right thing to help everyone - you cannot save the drowning if you cannot swim yourself. 

A few years ago (on Facebook) started using memes like the one below. The strange thing was the very needy people I was always ploughing all my mental energy into helping just went and found someone else to ask for help. They didn’t want my help, they were addicted to the attention I was giving out. Like vampires sucking my energy away.

For when you are once more stuck between two friends who have (once more) fallen out over something

When they can’t get a hit of sympathy from me, they just go somewhere else and try again.

The result is, I feel healthier and less stressed. Depression is now a little easier to bet without that drag factor.

3. Deal with crap that is bothering you

Nothing powers up your depression like crap you need to deal with but are pretending is not there. Be it a relationship that has to end, a commitment you should withdraw from, a painful memory you need to grieve over, or whatever. Find a safe way to unpack that baggage and leave it behind you.

4. Sleep more

I cannot stress this enough - depression is worse when you are tired. Get a good nights rest. Take naps if you have to. Get good sleep.

5. Give yourself permission to take the day off

Some days I just say screw it to social media, party invites, and housework. I just sit around in my PJs and catch up on Netflix. Not because I am lazy (I am that too but this is not why) but because sometimes I just need to decompress and do something that makes me happy.

A day off for me means not looking at the news (Brexit worries me no end). I disconnect and just live in the moment (which means I watch Netflix or dip into my DVD collection). Sometimes I go out for food or a beer with a good friend.

There have been days where I get up with a low spoon count and no motivation. I take care of whatever will cause pain if not done now and then I chill and so serious amounts of nothing much. You’ll be surprised just how much can be rescheduled.

Of course, if you have a nine to five job, you cannot pull a sick day too often. For that, you will have to get your doctor to sign off on a few days to a week of recovery. Which means telling your doctor what is going on (also a great way to get support).

6. Talk to your doctor

Getting support from your doctor lightens the load. I never would have learned about mindful meditation had I not tried this.

7. People who say “why don’t you just cheer up”.

These people suck. There is not much you can do other than find better friends. They don’t understand and if re-educating them sounds like too much work, find friends that do understand. People who just don’t get it should be carefully managed and kept at a distance.

8. Advice on social media is far from perfect

Remember what I said about talking t your doctor? Doctors are experts. Tumblr users are… Who knows? We’re weirdos on the web. Sometimes we can help but do please double check with an actual expert.

9. Find someone else who is going through the same thing

Being able to explain what you are going through with someone who truly gets it - because they’ve been there - is wonderful. Just knowing you are not alone makes it easier. It beats the lies depression tells you by showing you the truth. That alone makes it all seem much less terrible.

On top of that, you can feel listened to and heard - boy does that help.

Furthermore, you can both share insights on ways to cope. Truly the best part of the deal.

10. It does get better.

Over time, depressions tricks just seem less effective. The cloud is just the same but I seem to be hurt a little less by it each year. The other benefit of getting older is that you can level up in kicking depression to the curb. 

Depression still mounts some nasty attacks sometimes but it has never beaten me for good.

11. Get a cat or dog

This might be me but right now I have a soft warm cat (Molly) laying on me and I feel just a little bit better because of it. 

12. Socialising can help

I’m an introvert but I found that my DnD and Pathfinder games lift my spirits. I’m pretty sure it is the socialisation and not the dragon-slaying that helps. 

That said slaying dragons with a group of people you see every week is most satisfying. Try that too. Seriously, tabletop RPGs are the best.

13. Did I mention how helpful sleep is?

Sometimes a power nap can hot reset on strong or overwhelming feelings. It can just be the case that allowing yourself a short cry and then a nap, lets you get back to your day. That works for me.

14. Music

I have playlists that I use that can help a lot. 

Some are full of songs that recognise negative feelings, pain, and suffering. I find them cathartic. 

Others remind me of times I have had a lot of joy. A surprising number of those are themes from favourite shows.

I’ve no idea if this will work for you but try it out if you get a chance and see if it works for you. Sometimes a good playlist can kick depression right in its stupid face.

15. Rewatch favourite shows

I read somewhere that when we watch shows we are familiar with we enjoy them differently. The stress and release of finding out what will happen are replaced with something similar to the feeling of seeing a treasured friend. Maybe it is just me, but I have some shows I have seen certain seasons of many times.

Some shows (Red Dwarf, Bleach, iZombie, Star Trek DS9, etc.) have episodes that I can quote line for line.

16. Look after your health

Take care of yourself. Show your own self some love and care. I’m not really sure why this helps but it does. Pain, sickness, and generally being run down make coping with depression harder. I guess that I do have a clue about that after all.

Some people find yoga helps. When my body was younger, I liked running. I can’t run now do to an arthritic bad spine and I miss it.

17. Nice food

Talking of showing yourself some love. Treat yourself to something nice once ins a while. For me, that is pizza, bacon and eggs, or chocolate ice cream. Man, that is the way to say “I love you” to me.

I would not be surprised if Bacon might one day turn out to have magic properties from which we will develop a cure for depression. Even if it does not - bacon is still awesome. 

Except for pizza. For some reason, they always put really dry tasteless bacon on pizza where I live.

18. If it gets too much tell someone

When depression is loudest, never try to ride it out without telling someone. Tumblr does not count.

19. Never drink depressed

Booze is not the answer. For that reason, when depression is very bad I drink nothing stronger than a tea or coffee. Trust me on this one.

20. It is okay to sometimes be not okay

Give yourself permission to feel low. Don’t hide it but don’t let yourself get dragged down by it either.

21. It is not okay to stay not okay

If the depression spell lasts without relenting, seek help. That’s bad and you deserve the best support there is available to you. It can often be the last thing you feel like doing but after a week or two of feeling low and staying home, something more serious may be wrong and you must get help. You deserve to be happy sometimes too.

22. Enjoy the little victories

Take time to really bask in the glow of the smaller wins. I find that gives me the strength to go and get the next win.

23. Your job is NOT to make other people happy

On no account is it ever okay for anyone to make you feel that their happiness is your responsibility. File people like that with the drama queens - in the past.

Trying to conform to the expectations of others is the leading cause of making depression worse than it needs to be. A close second is trying to please everyone. I have no data at all to back that up with but I am pretty sure it is true.

24. Surround yourself with people that know the real you and still like you

Everyone else can stick it where the sun never shines. Seriously, people that know and like the real you are worth their weight in gold. Everyone else... Not so much.

25. It is okay not have the answers

I am 100% sure there is more stuff I know and cannot think of and 100% sure that there is a lot I don’t know and probably should. I’m still learning too.

[ayeletinthemountains]

Mount Temple via East Ridge

8/2/18

Mount Temple had been on my radar since around ~2015, when I first visited Banff. In the summer of 2017, during our van trip, Leo and I had set our sights on the East Ridge, but the Banff area ended up being a disaster most of the time we were there because of a heat wave and constant smoke from fires. Nervous about the snow traverse during a heat wave, and lacking all motivation since we’d have no views, Leo and I decided to leave it for another time.

That other time for me ended up being the next summer when I visited Marco in Banff while he is on his own van trip. Marco is a strong climber who doesn’t have much of an interest in long slogs, but I managed to trick, I mean convince, him this would be a fun day. We did all our research the morning before, and in the evening after some cragging near Canmore, we headed up to Moraine Lake to scout our route for the next day. We found the slide path ~2km before Moraine Lake where we’d need to park the next morning and begin our ascent.

We drove to the Lake Louise overflow lot (this spot is so clutch — free overnight parking with everyone sleeping in their vehicles) about ~25 mins from our starting point, where we planned to sleep for the night. We made dinner, ate plenty of ice cream, and packed our gear. We each planned to wear approach shoes, but bring climbing shoes, harnesses, an *extremely* light rack (3 cams: 0.5, 0.75, #1), crampons, ice axe, helmet, and a 60m half rope. We made sure to pack shells as well, since there was a chance of rain in some forecasts (though mountain forecast called just for clouds, making us feel comfortable going for it).

We set the alarm for 4am, were at the trailhead at 5am, and were hiking by 5:10am. Originally we’d hoped there might be a use trail heading up the avalanche slope, but we never found one while looking the night before, so we just started up the talus field. The talus field narrows to a distinct steep gully at its top. It got pretty loose/miserable towards the top of the gully, but once we were there we were treated to some of the first “good” rock of the day. I say “good” because it seems all rock in the Canadian Rockies is crap (us Californians are spoiled, I know), but this section wasn’t *totally* chossy. :) The gully separates to a left fork and a right. I got the impression from trip reports that either would work, so we picked the left fork, heading straight up for a while before starting to veer right. We scrambled up and right for a while until we found some cairns.

We followed the cairns going up and up. We felt that we were finally on the ridge at this point, but I never felt 100% certain because the ridge is so broad at this point. The scrambling is fun and feels solid enough, maybe up to fourth class here and there. As we kept going, I was nervous that we hadn’t come across any landmarks that I recognized yet until we finally reached the little step, protected by a bolt as promised in other trip reports I’d read. The little step really only had maybe 2 low fifth class moves. Marco pulled my pack up for me, and then I felt comfortable doing them sans rope or climbing shoes. We continued up the ridge a couple hundred feet more and found ourselves at the big step right around 8am.

By this point I was starting to feel pretty hungry — after all, we’d been moving for nearly 3 hours and gained probably close to 3k feet of elevation. As Marco flaked the rope and assembled the rack, I wolfed down a cliff bar. We followed the SummitPost beta for the climbing pitches and didn’t have too much trouble, with Marco leading all the pitches. The climbing felt a bit harder than I was expecting, and I was happy to have my rock shoes. Marco on the other hand stayed in his approach shoes and felt very secure with the three cams he’d brought for our rack. Later that night I heard him on the phone telling his girlfriend, “I’d start a pitch, put a piece in so Yelly wouldn’t worry, and then climb to the next anchor.” Thanks Marco. :-P

We finished this section of roped climbing around 10am, put away the rope, and took another snack break. We scoped out the rest of the route as we munched, easily identifying the leaning flake we needed to reach just below the black towers. We continued up the ridge, cutting left on a ledge and heading towards a chimney as described again in the SummitPost description. Once we passed the chimney, we basically took a direct upward/left traversing line towards the flake. The terrain was definitely loose, but I managed to feel solid enough to make good progress. When we finally reached the flake, we had to climb over the band of snow that is typically there. I was happy to see that right next to the flake, the snow was maybe only 5 ft wide, so not too bad to cross.

Marco carefully kicked steps in the very soft snow, plunging in his axe entirely for extra safety on each step. I followed suit, and then climbed up behind the flake, again seeing the bolts we’d expected from the SummitPost description. The description says going behind the flake is the hardest part of the black towers, but I found it to be quite easy. While some people pitch out the terrain up to and even past the flake, I never felt even close to the need to pull the rope out. I kept on my approach shoes, since the terrain felt very reasonable to me. Yes, it was heads up, but never really felt like fifth class to me. Marco disagrees here and definitely says it felt like fifth class. Who knows?

We continued up the gully through the black towers. As promised in some beta we’d read, every single hold did indeed have pea-sized gravel on it. I felt that my approach shoes were better on the gravel than climbing shoes would be. Just before 12:30pm, we topped out and had our views of the glacier. Over the course of the whole day, I’d been most nervous about the glacier. It seemed most trip reports didn’t really mention it, but those that did usually didn’t have good things to say. I also haven’t climbed much steep snow this year, I’d borrowed Leo’s very dull aluminum crampons and only had approach shoes, and we had no beta on the snow conditions on the glacier. If we’d found that the conditions were bad and we had to down climb the whole east ridge, I might have chosen to give up climbing entirely. Okay, that’s a bit dramatic, but down climbing all that horrible loose terrain really seems like a nightmare (which, after the fact, Marco did find a trip report in which some people thought they wouldn’t need crampons on the glacier, so they did indeed down climb the whole thing).

We took another snack break and geared up for the glacier. This was Marco’s first time doing roped glacier travel, and my first time this year, so I had to somewhat dust off the cobwebs. Between the two of us, we had enough knowledge to make it work though! For example, I couldn’t for the life of me remember how to tie an alpine butterfly, but Marco was there to save the day. After debating about who should lead the rope team, we settled on Marco, since he’d likely be faster at kicking steps.

And we were off. I was feeling pretty nervous about the terrain, since it was still unknown, and it definitely looked steeper than I had anticipated. The snow varied from everything to soft post-holing to full on alpine ice. I got pretty spooked in the alpine ice section, feeling my crampons couldn’t get nearly as much purchase as I’d like. I, with no ice climbing experience, was desperately throwing the pick of my axe into the ice, trying to get a good hold, with Marco watching and thinking…. well, that’s not going to work. He tried to coach me through the best way to throw my axe, and after several minutes without making much improvement, I yelled to him that this was not the time for me to learn to ice climb, and I’d just have to make my existing skills work.

As we got closer to the summit, we got more on the ridge proper. The snow was better closest to the edge, making me want to go towards it badly, but we also knew that the edge was heavily corniced, so quite dangerous. Excellent. After passing one particularly spooky spot, I spied some hikers on the summit, and was incredibly jealous of their position of safety, which was so close yet so far away. I saw them taking photos of us and thought to myself, “Well, it would be really embarrassing if I fell right now”. With Marco’s words of encouragement (and a “belay” at one point — though, let’s be real, we had no ice screws or pickets — this was a “make you feel good” belay), I got through the cruxes, and we moxied on up to the summit!

All the hikers had left by the time we arrived, so we shockingly had the summit to ourselves. It was just before 3pm, and I was pretty pleased with our very reasonable time — less than 10 hours to the summit. We took off our now very wet approach shoes and changed into dry socks, ate our sandwiches and some celebratory Reeses peanut butter cups, and took the required summit selfie. The clouds had luckily held off all day, but were looming nearby, so I didn’t want to press our luck. After maybe 20 minutes of snacking and repacking the gear, I headed off down the tourist route. I’d read very little about it, so I hoped the trail would be easy to follow, and it certainly was.

Heading down the trail was pretty uneventful. It did rain on us for a few minutes after we’d descended maybe halfway. The views from the trail itself were spectacular. The switchbacks above Moraine Lake seemed to go on forever, losing so little elevation at a time. But, we were back at the lake by 6:15pm, so just over 13 hours after we’d started that morning. After asking 6 different cars, Marco finally found a ride back to the van and then shuttled back to the lake to pick me up. I was shocked how good I felt and was stoked to have bagged such a beautiful peak via such a classic route. I was just craving more. :) Marco, more reasonably, was tired and ready for some rest. Shockingly, Marco the rock climber said it was a fun day and not a *total* slog. We headed to the Lake Louise overflow parking lot to make dinner and sleep away all our sore muscles.

Big thanks to my rope gun Marco for this one — for leading the rock pitches and helping me keep it together on the exposed snow. #teamworkmakesthedreamwork

[sonnets-and-snowdrops]

And The Room Spins // A Sha Gojyo Birthday Fic

Fandom: Saiyuki Pairing: 585 Genre: BIRTHDAY-THEMED ANGSTTTT/ slice of life I guess, if said life is chock-full of GOJYO ANGST Rating: T+ Word Count: 2k-ish Summary: Gojyo hasn’t celebrated his birthday in a long, long time. In fact, Gojyo sometimes forgets about his own birthday - but this year, his new roommate remembers. Warnings: Mentions of drugs and alcohol; possibly altered mental states, I suppose, if you push it; brief mention of sex; boys kissing Author’s Note:  So, uh - it’s out of order, but here’s the latest installment in the Everyone In The Ikkou Gets Cake cycle or whatever I didn’t plan this but uh here we are ! (In case you’re interested, here are Hakkai’s and Sanzo’s birthday fics. They’re both much, much nicer than this one. I mean, low bar, but still.) Not much to say about this one, except - I’m sorry, Gojyo. I’m so, so sorry. One day, I will write you mid-journey, or post-journey, or in a really, really nice AU, or something, so you can do more than get drunk and Have Feelings. Also, it’s probably worth noting that this piece, like Hakkai’s birthday fic, is intended to take place during the very first year that Hakkai and Gojyo live together. They don’t know each other very well - and, at this point, I don’t imagine Hakkai knows much about Gojyo’s past. Anywho. It’s a few weeks overdue, but - happy birthday, Gojyo. May you find happiness and peace, you poor, beat-up boy. Despite the way I treat you in my fics, I really do love you. Pinky swear. I’M DONE I’M DONE I’M OUT BYEEE GUYS OKAY ON THAT NOTE HERE’S THE FIC HERE YA GO This work is un-beta’d. All errors are mine.

He tries to be as quiet as possible when he slips inside, but as ever, the door creaks when he opens it - I really gotta get that fixed one of these days, he thinks - and his footfalls are heavier than he intends them to be. He teeters sideways, and his shoulder slams into the wall, and he bites his tongue as he does his best to stifle a grunt of pain. “Stupid wall,” he mutters, righting himself. He manages to walk forward in what could generously be called straight line, and he’s pretty proud of himself, all things considered; he has a good half-dozen drinks, a hit or two of a funky-smelling herbal cigarette, and the fact that he’s been awake for a solid eighteen hours working against him.

Also, it’s dark.

Gojyo takes two more steps forward.

Then, he squints.

Then, he frowns.

Maybe it’s just his dry, tired eyes playing tricks on him, but it looks to Gojyo like it’s not as dark as it should be.

He rounds the corner into the kitchen, and for a split second, he finds himself borderline blinded. A lively, warm glow of light flickers cheerily from the middle of his kitchen table, and Gojyo, having trudged home in the nighttime darkness, finds himself very ill-equipped to deal with this bright and startling turn of events. He squeezes his eyes shut, and he throws up a hand in front of his face, and he spits a swearword out from between his clenched teeth.

“Well,” says a voice. “That’s not quite the reaction I was hoping for.”

Slowly, Gojyo lowers his arm and pries his eyes open. He blinks, feeling remarkably sluggish and stupid, and after a few tense heartbeats, the image of Hakkai, seated at the table and bearing a pryingly pitiable look on his placid face, comes into focus.

“Uh,” Gojyo says.

At that, the expression on Hakkai’s face melts into a gentle smile. “A few too many celebratory drinks this evening, Gojyo?” he says lightly.

For the second time in the space of a minute, Gojyo frowns. “Celebratory?” he asks. “What the hell is there for me to be celebrating?”

For a moment, Hakkai almost looks hurt. To his credit, he recovers quickly - but not so quickly that Gojyo misses it altogether. “You can’t be serious,” Hakkai says, his voice quiet and small.

“Serious as a goddamn heart attack, dude. What is it, huh? What?” On a whim, Gojyo slips his hands into his pockets, and he waggles his eyebrows, and he saunters forward two steps, the way he would if he was putting the moves on a pretty girl. “Did I forget our anniversary or something?”

Hakkai stares at Gojyo and blinks those kooky, green eyes of his. “…ah,” he says, after a brief moment. “No, Gojyo. No. You forgot something else, actually.”

“Somethin’ else?”

“Yes.”

“That doesn’t sound like me.”

“Well. Perhaps not, but - “

“I don’t forget important stuff, Hakkai,” Gojyo says, crossing his arms in front of his chest and sticking out his bottom lip. “Small stuff, maybe, but not important stuff.”

“Is that so?” Hakkai asks softly.

“Damn right it’s so.”

A ghost of that wan smile crosses Hakkai’s lips again. “I suppose it shouldn’t come as a great shock to me that you don’t consider today to be terribly important. Still,” he adds, “I can’t help but think it’s a shame.” He pauses, and he opens his mouth again as if to speak, but he closes it after a split second. He glances downwards, not meeting Gojyo’s eyes. “You’re a good man, Gojyo,” Hakkai says. “Better than you realize, I think.”

All of a sudden, Gojyo finds it weirdly hard to draw a steady breath. He feels kinda dizzy, too, so he takes another couple steps forward, and then slides a second chair out from the table, and he plops down into it. “Uh,” he says again. “I mean - uh. I ain’t gonna fight you on that, I guess, but - I mean, I - ”

Abruptly, one of Hakkai’s pale hands shoots forward and shoves something across the table, in Gojyo’s general direction.

“This is for you,” Hakkai says.

It takes Gojyo’s drunk, stoned, and downright exhausted brain a long moment to process what happened. The light in the tiny kitchen flickers oddly, almost as if -

Gojyo almost smacks himself in the forehead for being such a big, dumb idiot.

For the first time, he notices that there’s a cake on the table.

A cake, with a neat, even circle of candles stuck in it around the edge.

A birthday cake.

Gojyo swallows, hard. His gaze is pinned to the cake, which inexplicably pitches and swims in his field of vision. He’s aware of a hot pricking behind his eyes, and he’s pretty sure his hands would be trembling if he didn’t have them pressed hard to his thighs beneath the table.

“I suppose I thought it would be nice,” comes Hakkai’s voice, from what seems to Gojyo like very far away.

“Nice,” Gojyo echoes.

“Yes.”

“Nice.”

“Yes. Yes, I - yes.”

Gojyo glances up, and sees Hakkai peering at him through those thick eyelashes, that thick mane of dark hair, and those thick panes of glass in front of his eyes. “Today’s my birthday,” he says dumbly.

“Yes, Gojyo.”

“You remembered.”

“Yes, Gojyo.”

“I freakin’ forgot my own birthday, and you remembered.”

“That - that seems to be the case, Gojyo. Yes.”

“Shit.” Gojyo sinks back in his chair, suddenly drained. “No one,” he says, his voice weak and wobbly, “has wished me a happy birthday in years.” He flicks his eyes back to Hakkai, whose face looks drawn and strangely craggy, thanks to the flickering candlelight.

“Years?” Hakkai whispers, the question shot through with disbelief.

“Yeah.”

“How many years?”

“Dunno. Loads.” Gojyo can hear his own voice tightening with emotion - and that, he decides without hesitation, is his cue to exit. “Just - uh. Yeah. I’m not so sure eating cake is the best thing for me right now, so. Uh - ” Gojyo rises  - 

And the room spins.

Gojyo keeps his footing, but only barely. He favors Hakkai with a cloying smile as he takes a few unsteady steps, and he does his best to ignore the way the kitchen swirls around him. “Uh,” he continues, still backing away from the table. “Uh. Yeah, I - I’m gonna go to bed - ”

“Can I get you anything?”

“Nah. S’okay, M’fine.”

“Water, perhaps?” Hakkai rises too, looking at Gojyo with what appears to be mounting - and unwarranted, by Gojyo’s recknoning - concern. “I also have painkillers,” Hakkai says quickly. “Even a few which can be taken while under the influence of - ”

“No, no. Don’t worry ‘bout it. I said, I’m -”

The next thing Gojyo knows, he’s pitching sideways and downwards. He swings his arms out wide, and one of his heavy hands makes contact with something that feels like a sturdy, solid, flesh-and-blood body. He makes a fist, clutching for all he’s worth at what he’s pretty sure is the baggy fabric of a knit sweater, and awkwardly shuffling his feet around, frantically trying to regain his balance. He feels a pair of strong hands hoisting him upwards from under his armpits, urging him forward and offering him just the crutch he needs.

For the first time since he crashed through the door of his house, stillness reigns.

Involuntarily, Gojyo sways, shell-shocked and stagnant, locked in this bizarre, lopsided embrace, shifting from foot to foot to keep himself from toppling over again. His head suddenly feels ludicrously heavy, and so Gojyo lets it drop. It rests on what feels like a bony shoulder - which, given the circumstances, is just fine by Gojyo. Somehow, he can’t find it within himself to be too picky at the moment.

“I,” he concludes lamely, slurring his dogged words and shutting his weary eyes, “am fine.”

Hakkai’s faint laughter vibrates through Gojyo’s pent-up palms, and travels all the way up his arms. “Of course you are, Gojyo,” Hakkai says. “You’re fine.” Gojyo feels gentle fingers working in his greasy hair. That’s something else, he reflects vaguely, that hasn’t happened in years - though, to be totally fair, that’s because he almost never allows it to happen. It usually pisses him off when people touch his hair - he always makes it clear to the chicks he screws that his hair is off-limits, because he’ll be damned before he allows himself to be reduced to a real, living, breathing version of some bitch’s stupid, half-youkai sex fantasy - but this, somehow, is different.  This, somehow, is all right.

“You’re fine,” Hakkai murmurs again. “You’re just fine.”

“I am, though,” Gojyo murmurs back.

“I know.”

“I mean it.”

“I know.”

With an effort, Gojyo lifts his head. He blinks blearily, doing his damnedest to actually meet Hakkai’s eyes. “Thanks for the cake,” he mumbles. “Means a lot. I mean that too, ’kay?”

A tiny smile flickers across Hakkai’s face. “You’re welcome,” he says. “It’s the least I could do.”

“Sorry I didn’t eat any.”

“That’s just fine.”

“It’s, like - a little shitty, though.”

“The cake will keep overnight. We can eat it tomorrow. It’s just fine, Gojyo. I promise.”

“You promise, huh?”

“Yes. I promise.” Hakkai squeezes Gojyo’s shoulder. “And - do you know what? I’ll make you another promise, Gojyo.”

“Another one, huh?”

“Yes.” Hakkai is still smiling - but somehow, it seems to Gojyo, it’s become a very serious smile. “I promise you,” Hakkai says, “if it is in my power, I’ll take care to ensure that you never spend a birthday without good wishes ever again.”

And Gojyo laughs.

Hakkai’s smile freezes on his face. That weird, frozen look should scare Gojyo - he’s damn sure it should - but as things stand, all Gojyo can do is laugh, and laugh, and laugh. When he finally catches his breath, he offers Hakkai the most apologetic look he can muster. “You,” he says shakily, “talk real old-fashioned sometimes. Y’know that?”

Hakkai says nothing. His green eyes, clear and clever but strangely veiled for all that, dart back and forth rapidly across Gojyo’s face.

Shit, Gojyo thinks.

He’s fucked up.

Again.

Gojyo draws a breath, and then lets out a long, quivering sigh. “I’m sorry,” he says thickly. “I’m sorry, Hakkai. You were trying to do something nice, and I shat all over it. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad or nothin’, I’m just - I mean, I’m not used to - I mean - “

Hakkai shakes his head. “Hush, Gojyo,” he says. “You should sleep. You’re tired, and you should sleep.”

“I just - I don’t know how I can let you know that I - I mean, I appreciate this, I really - ”

“I know. I know you do, Gojyo. It’s all right.”

“It’s - it’s not, though, because I - ”

“Hush, Gojyo - ”

“No, I… I mean, Hakkai, I… ”

He’s not sure what makes him do it. Maybe it’s his ridiculous desperation. Maybe it’s the wounded look on Hakkai’s face, and maybe it’s the drugs-and-booze cocktail pumping through his veins and lighting his frayed feelings on fire, and maybe it has to do with the fact that no one taught him the right way to say “thank you” when he was growing up, not really - but, for whatever reason, in that moment, the very best thing that Gojyo can think to do is to reach up, take Hakkai’s head in his hands, lean forward, and give his roommate the most honest kiss he’s ever given anyone in his life -

And the room spins.

It doesn’t last very long - or, that’s how it feels to Gojyo, anyway. He pulls away, and he releases the breath he didn’t realize he was holding, and he looks Hakkai dead in the face. Hakkai’s expression has done a complete one-eighty - he looks straight-up stunned now, and maybe it’s just a trick of the flickering light, but Gojyo could swear that his roommate is blushing.

“Uh,” Gojyo says, choosing to extract himself from the situation before anything else stupid happens, and speaking with a voice that feels way, way too loud for the small kitchen. “Uh. I’m going to bed now. I’ll see you in the morning, Hakkai.” And he turns on his heel as gracefully as he can - which isn’t very gracefully at all, but it gets Gojyo pointed in the right direction to traipse towards his bedroom.

Just before he makes it to the bedroom door, he hears Hakkai calling from behind him. “Good night, Gojyo,” Hakkai says. “And - happy birthday.”

“Thanks,” Gojyo calls back. As he tosses the word over his shoulder, he decides, last-minute, that it would be swell to end the evening by flashing Hakkai one last, charming smile. He whips his head sideways -

And the room spins.

His feet get all tangled, and his knees hit the floor, and his head hits the ground, and his stomach churns, and his mouth opens wide, and he lets out another peal of ridiculous laughter. He hears footsteps thudding across the linoleum and feels the warmth and comfort of those steady, slender hands again, and this time, Gojyo just lets it all happen. “I owe ya another one, Hakkai,” Gojyo says weakly as his eyes slide closed. He’s beat, and he’s overwhelmed, but he feels kinda fuzzy, too - fuzzy with something almost, almost, like some wacky-ass strain of happiness.

“Hush,” comes Hakkai’s voice, so faint that Gojyo can barely hear him. “Hush, Gojyo - ”

Gojyo lets another sick laugh slip through his smiling lips before he allows himself to fade into the darkness.

“Happy birthday to me,” he says.

[builder051]

Stay with me, we’ll take the night (MCU Captain America fanfic)

This is a re-post from AO3.  I’m putting up a story (or a chapter) every day to share my already-written work with Tumblr.

This is part of my powers/no powers choose-your-own-adventure ‘verse.  It’s up to the reader whether the characters are superheroes or just regular folks.

Trigger warnings: vomit

This is also a story about how much I hate the 4th of July.

___________________________________________________________________

Steve’s pulling the groceries out of his bike’s saddlebags when he hears it.  A loud whoosh and explosive boom that’s much too close for comfort.  He ducks instinctively and panics that he has just about nothing but a plastic bag of burger buns for protection before reality kicks in.

It’s Steve’s birthday.  It’s the 4th of July.  It’s a firework.  Duh.

Now that he’s back in his driveway instead of in the midst of battle, Steve hears the high-pitched laughs of the kids messing around in the patch of grass beside the row of townhouses across the street.  It’s all of about 2:30 in the afternoon, so Steve’s at a loss for why they’re doing this now.

None of my business, he tells himself as he extracts the last grocery sack from his saddlebag and starts for the front door.

But it kind of is his business.  Steve’s already had his jumpy moment at the sound of a Roman candle.  This is exactly why he’s not thrilled about tonight’s planned festivities.

“I’ll be fine,” Bucky had insisted.  “It’s your birthday.  We should do something.”

“I don’t know…I’m not sure it’s the best day to try to celebrate…” Steve’d hedged.

“We could invite Sam over.  Have a cookout or something.”

And Sam had called Nat, who’d called Clint and Laura, who’d called Tony…

So five adults and two kids are supposed to come over to celebrate Steve’s birthday on what’s probably the worst day of the year for folks with PTSD.

Steve’s worried.  The living room and backyard are barely big enough to house the small crowd, the mini charcoal grill Sam’s promised to bring over is probably an insult to masculinity in general, and Steve’s not good at letting loose.  There’s probably one six-pack of Heineken in the fridge, so he hopes everyone either brings their own bottles or is ok with a dry night.  He’s not eager to head back out to the store and try to carry a full bar back on his bike.

More than that, though, he’s worried about Bucky.  And when he gets inside, he knows he’s right to be concerned.

Steve sets the groceries down on the kitchen counter and immediately sees what’s wrong with this picture.  There’s a plate with half a sandwich on it and a big wad of crumpled plastic wrap beside it.  The translucent silver roll is on the floor, and the box nowhere to be found.  The kitchen radio is hanging by the cord, dangling off the counter and in front of the lower cabinets, the plug miraculously still in the wall.  It’s emitting static over what sounds like Party in the USA.

“Buck?” Steve asks, quickly shoving the packages of burgers and hotdogs into the fridge and glancing around for Bucky.

“Hmph.”  It comes from the living room, where Bucky’s face down on the couch with his arm folded over his head.

“Hey,” Steve says softly.  He sits on the edge of the coffee table.  Steve notices the trembling of Bucky’s fingers as they press over his mussed hair.  “Can I touch you?”

“Huh.”  It’s almost the same muffled sound as before.

“Ok,” Steve says.  He kneels between the table and couch and presses gently between Bucky’s shoulder blades.  “You’re safe, ok?  You’re with me.”

Bucky heaves a deep breath in and out.  He rolls onto his side to face Steve.

“Hey,” Steve says when they make eye contact.  Well, barely, since Bucky’s squinting through his lashes.

“Hey,” Bucky groans.

“What’s going on?”

“Head fucking hurts,” Bucky says.  “And I keep hearing shit…”

“Aw, babe,” Steve whispers sympathetically.  “It’s the kids across the street.  They’re shooting off their fireworks already.  Probably breaking a million city ordinances…”

“Yeah, I figured,” Bucky says.  Steve’s not sure he’s telling the complete truth, though.  His eyes have that glazed flashback look even though they’re still half-lidded.  “I think I broke the radio.”

Steve glances back into the kitchen where the radio is fuzzing.  “Actually, it might be ok,” Steve says.  “The tuner’s just knocked off, I think.  Were you looking for your station?”  He chooses not to remind Bucky that his preferred 60s, 70s, and 80s rock station is programmed into the pre-sets alongside NPR, ESPN, and classical piano, so there’s no real reason to use the tuner.  Ever.

“Yeah,” Bucky mutters.  “Every station’s playing fucking Justin Bieber…”

Steve tries not to laugh.  Admittedly he feels the same way sometimes, which is why their radio has pre-sets…

There’s another sizzling boom from outside.

Bucky draws his knees into is chest and squeezes his eyes shut.

“It’s ok,” Steve soothes, as much to himself as to Bucky.  “It’s those damn asshole kids.”

Bucky nods into the couch and doesn’t open his eyes.

“Do you still want your music?  Or would that bother your head?”

“Yeah.  Music,” Bucky grunts.

“Ok.  I’ll get the radio fixed up here…”  Steve pats Bucky’s shoulder.

It takes just a few seconds to get the radio back on the counter, adjust the volume, and select the pre-set for 104.7.  Music fills the room.

Shootin at the walls of heartache

Bang, bang

I am the warrior…

“This ok?” Steve asks, hoping the lyrics aren’t inducing more flashbacks.

“’s fine,” Bucky says.

Steve turns to the half sandwich.  “Can I put this away?  Your lunch?” he asks.

“Yeah.  Think the cling wrap’s broken too…”

Steve smiles and shakes his head.  He rescues the roll from the floor, tears off a sheet, and neatly stretches it over the half-sandwich.

When he puts the plate in the fridge, Steve re-organizes the barbecue supplies.  He separates the hotdogs and burgers, lines up pickles and condiments in the fridge door, and stacks buns on the counter.  The fluffy white bread starts to look more and more hopeless under his hands.

“Hey, Buck,” Steve says, striding back into the living room.  “We don’t have to do this.”

“Hm?” Bucky asks, cracking his eyes open as Steve squats in front of him.

“This thing, tonight.  We don’t have to do it.  I can call everyone.  It might be better.”

“No,” Bucky says, propping himself up on his stump arm.  “No, it’s your birthday.  I’m gonna be fine.”  He undermines himself by scrunching up his forehead and bringing his hand up to scrub his eyebrows.

“Hey, if you’re not feeling good—”

“I’ll be fine.”  Bucky comes up to a seated position and slouches into the couch cushions.  “We’ve got time.”  He squints at the clock, but that doesn’t seem to be working, so he flicks his gaze out the window instead.

Another loud pop comes from the vicinity of the front yard.  Bucky pales.  “Yeah, I’ll maybe just go to bed for a while.”  He gets to his feet and starts for the bedroom.

“Can I get you anything?  Excedrin or something?” Steve asks.

“No, just, keep on, whatever you’re…” he trails off.  “I’ll be fine, Steve.  Stop worrying.”

Steve sighs as the bedroom door closes.  He thinks about calling off the barbecue anyway, not for Bucky but for himself.  He’s just not in the mood to celebrate anymore.  He doubts he even was in the first place.

He’s halfway to pulling out his phone to call Sam when Steve changes his mind.  Bucky’s determined to have this shindig, even if he has to screw up his eyes against his migraine and muddle through it.  Steve owes it to him to try at least that hard.  And Bucky’s right, they do have time before the gang’s scheduled to arrive around 7:00.

Steve digs a sharpie out of the junk drawer and tears a sheet of notebook paper out of a random spiral and scrawls:  Please No Fireworks.  PTSD.  Thanks.

He tapes the makeshift sign to the front door and gives the kids a good glare before he retreats inside and locks the deadbolt.  It might not do any good, but at least it’s something.

The radio’s long since dissolved into Michael Jackson, but Steve still hears the echo of Patty Smyth.  I am the warrior…

Steve flops down on the leather couch, which is still warm from Bucky’s body heat.  He’ll be fine.  They have time.  Steve closes his eyes and tries to relax.

Steve jolts into awareness when the doorbell rings.  The orange light of sunset is streaming through the window, and the clock is showing 7:04.  The 4th of July.  The barbecue.  Shit.

The doorbell rings again, and Steve stumbles off the couch to answer it.

“Nice sign,” Sam says when Steve swings the door open.  “But not sure it’s helping.”  He jerks his thumb over his shoulder at the herd of neighborhood kids, which has approximately doubled in size.  They’re lighting off small fountain fireworks that are, blissfully, quiet.

“Yeah, well,” Steve grumbles.  “Come on in.”

Sam follows him through the door.  “You ok?”

“Yeah, sorry, I just woke up,” Steve admits.  “Buck wasn’t feeling good, and I was trying to give him some space, but I guess I fell asleep.”

“Is he ok?” Sam asks.  “We don’t have to do this if your boy’s sick.”

“I think he’s ok, he just had a migraine.  Kids weren’t helping,” Steve explains.  He eyes the grocery bag dangling from Sam’s fist and the mini grill under his arm.  “You can dump your stuff in the kitchen.  I’ll go wake him up and see how he’s doing.”

“Hey, you sure you’re ok?” Sam asks again.

“Yeah, I’m good.  Just groggy,” Steve says.  “I’ll be right back.”

He knocks on the bedroom door before turning the knob.  There’s no response.

Steve opens the door with a creak.  The quilt on the bed is crumpled from Bucky lying on top of it, but there’s no other sign of him.

A warm breeze drifts through the room, and Steve realizes with mounting horror the window beside the bed is open, and the screen is popped out.

Steve stands at the foot of the bed and holds onto his last shred of hope that Bucky’s still in the room.  Perhaps he just wanted to let in the breeze.

A snap and a crackle float in from outside…Not loud, but unmistakable.  Those damn fireworks…

“Bucky?” Steve calls.  He peers around the door of the ensuite, but Bucky’s not there either.  “Buck?” Steve checks the closet.  More of the same.  No Bucky.

The doorbell rings.  Fuck.

Steve dashes back to the entryway where Sam’s letting Nat in.

“Hey,” Nat says, saluting Stave with the six-pack of beer in her hand.  “I saw Tony.  He’s trying to parallel park that monster SUV.  And I think he brought Pepper.”

Steve doesn’t answer.  He’s sure he has a panicked look on his face.

“He’s still not feeling good?” Sam asks

“No, I…” Steve starts.  “I can’t find him.”

“What?”

“I—the window’s open.  He’s just—he’s gone.”

“Huh?  Slow down, start from the beginning.” Nat sets the beer down on the floor and grabs Steve by the shoulders, gently shoving him down at the foot of the staircase.  She perches on the bottom step and balances his elbows in her palms.  “Ok, tell me what happened.”

“Those jerks across the street, the kids,” Steve starts.  “They’ve been at it with the fireworks since this afternoon.  I left Buck to go to the grocery store, and when I got back he was all curled up with a migraine and probably a flashback or the start of a panic attack.”  He bites the inside of his lip.  “I mean, the sound was squirking me a little bit, I can’t imagine what it was doing to him.  But Buck just kept saying he was fine, he just needed to lie down for a while.”

Nat hums out a sympathetic sound and rubs her hands down Steve’s arms.

“He went in the bedroom and I passed out on the couch for a while, and then Sam got here, and I went to wake him up, and now he’s…I can’t…” Steve trails off and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Ok, you’re sure he’s not in the house?” Sam asks.

“I didn’t check,” Steve admits.  “But…he’s not.”

“Let’s give it one more look,” Nat offers.

She pulls Steve upright and they spend five minutes running up and down the stairs, opening closets, and shouting Bucky’s name.

The search is fruitless.  Back in the entryway, Sam is greeting Tony and Pepper, and Steve and Nat are hatching a plan.

“We’ll split up and walk the block.  We don’t really venture outside our little radius; he can’t have gone more than a mile or so…”

“I’ll stay in case he comes back.  And for when Clint and Laura show up,” Pepper offers sweetly.  She easily swings the cases of beer up off the floor and carries them to the fridge.  “These’ll be nice and cold for when you bring him back.”

“Ok,” Steve sighs.

“Hey,” Nat says, squeezing his shoulder.  “We’ll find him.  Don’t worry about it.”

***************************************************************************************

Bucky trudges through the dusty grass and weeds of the empty lot and comes to rest with his stump arm and aching forehead against the warm brick wall of the pizza parlor.  It’s creeping from dusk into darkness, and he’s lost track of how long he’s been wandering the outskirts of their DC suburb.  Bucky just knows the pain in his head is ratcheting up into the territory of unbearable and the vision in his right eye is pretty much shot with neon white and yellow aura.

Pow!  Sizzle…

The sound comes from several blocks away, but Bucky’s disoriented, can’t track the direction, and momentarily isn’t sure if he should move to dodge a bullet.

It smells like bread and tomatoes and cheese and garbage and smoke and gunpowder… Nausea filters up from Bucky’s stomach and down from his head, radiating into his jaw and down his shoulders.  He heaves against the wall and vomits up something it seems like he ate a long time ago.  Maybe back during the war.

Bucky’s hair falls into his face, and he retches again.  He accidentally inhales his own bile and coughs explosively to clear his airway while neon colors swirl behind his closed eyelids.

“Are you ok?  Are you sick?”  The voice is high-pitched enough to grate on Bucky’s sensitive ears, but quiet and timid enough to keep from doing much damage.

Bucky dry heaves a couple times and turns his head to wipe his mouth on the sleeve of his T-shirt.  The motion is dizzying, though, and he’s halfway to collapsing into his own puke when little hands latch onto his elbow and drag him a couple steps away from the brick wall.

Bucky lands on his hip and right hand, and he manages to seat himself and drop his head between his knees before the vertigo steals away all of his consciousness.

“What’s wrong with you?  Do you need to go to the doctor?”  The small hand pokes him in the shoulder.  The left shoulder.

Bucky waits for the exclamation of panic that’s sure to follow the kid’s discovery, but it doesn’t come.  Instead the voice just asks, “Does it hurt?”

Bucky grunts.

“Your arm?  Or your, um…it hurts?” the voice asks uncertainly.

“No, my fucking head.”  Bucky realizes he’s probably not supposed to swear when talking to this young-sounding person.  “Sorry.”

“Is that why you barfed?”

“Huh?”

“’Cause your head hurts?”

“Hm.  Yeah,” Bucky croaks out.  He presses his thumb into his right eye socket in an attempt to mitigate the dizzying aura.

Another voice cuts across the empty lot.  “Bella!  Are you talking to strangers?”  That voice sounds young too, but a little deeper.

The kid shifts on the ground beside Bucky.  “What’s your name?”

“James,” Bucky says, anticipating the ear-splitting giggle that will come if he relays his nickname.

“No,” Bella shouts across the lot, away from Bucky’s ear.  “I’m talking to James!”

It’s still loud, and Bucky flinches.

“Are you a homeless vet?”

“A what?”  Bucky turns his head sideways on top of his knees so he can see the kid with his one working eye.  She looks to be in middle childhood, with long dark hair and a red, white, and blue patterned sundress.

“Are you a homeless vet?” Bella repeats.

“No,” Bucky says, scrubbing his hand over his face again.  “Well, kind of.  No.  I have a home.”  Nausea’s starting to build again, and Bucky swallows the urge to retch.

“You should go home if you’re sick.”  Sage wisdom from a kid.

“Yeah, well,” Bucky mutters.  “I’m supposed to be at a birthday party.”

“You should cancel.”

“It’s at my house.  For my…my friend.  He, well, it’s actually his house.”  Bucky’s not sure what he just said.  Or if it’s coherent.

The kid’s way smarter than Bucky thought.  “Your boyfriend?”

“Uh…”

“I’m eight, I’m not stupid,” Bella says defensively.

“I didn’t say you w—”

Another huge booming firework cracks through the quiet night air.  Bucky throws his arm over his head and cowers under the explosion of pain.  “Jesus—fuck…”

“What’s the matter?  It’s just a firework.”  She sounds matter-of-fact.

“God, I know,” Bucky says.  “But it hurts.  And makes me remember bad shit.  Stuff.”  The kid’s going to be thoroughly corrupted by the time she’s done talking to him.

“Like, the war?” Bella asks.  “Like, Iraq and Vietnam, and like that?”  The details aren’t quite there, but she’s essentially right.

Bucky nods into his knees.

“Is that how your arm…?”  He can feel her hovering inches from his stump shoulder.

“You can touch it,” he says.

Little hot fingers glance off the hem of his sleeve and beneath it to train curiously across his scarred flesh.  She quickly retracts her hand.

They’re quiet for a moment.  Footsteps are running through the lot, toward the opposite end from where Bucky and Bella are sitting.  Bucky squeaks his eyes open just enough to see a couple of kids, maybe a few years older than Bella, dashing around with sparklers in their hands.

“My big brothers,” Bella supplies, following Bucky’s squint.  Then, “What’s your boyfriend’s name?”  What is this kid’s endgame?

“Steve,” Bucky whispers.

“Does he love you?”

“Yeah,” Bucky sighs.  If this is a guilt trip, it’s already working.

“Even with one arm?”  Bella continues.

“Yeah…”

“Then he’s gonna love you even though you got sick on his birthday.”  She sounds exasperated in a childishly adorable way.

“Yeah,” Bucky says again.  “I know.”

There’s another shout from across the lot.  “You gonna light one of these?  Or just sit there like a weirdo?”

Bella looks carefully at Bucky.

“Go.  I’m fine,” he assures her.

She gets up and bounds across the patchy grass and dust to join the boys.  Bucky watches them for a second, then lets his eyes drift shut.

“Hey,” Bella’s voice says in his ear.  Bucky ignores the pulse in his forehead as he looks up at her.  She has a lit sparkler in each hand.  “Here.”

She passes Bucky one of the illuminated sticks and kneels in the dirt across from him so their sparklers can almost touch.

*****************************************************************************************

“Bucky?” Steve calls as he jogs up the sidewalk toward the pizza parlor.  There are kids playing with sparklers in the vacant lot beside the brick building.  Steve’s about to ask them if they’ve seen a man with long hair and one arm, but as he scans their shadowy figures, he realizes one of the shapes seated in the dirt is a man with long hair and one arm….

“Buck!”

Bucky’s head lifts and turns toward Steve’s voice.  His eyes widen in the dark, and the kid sitting beside him reaches up to snatch a sparkler out of Bucky’s hand so he can stumble forward into Steve’s chest.

Bucky’s sweaty and dirty and smells like vomit, but Steve doesn’t care.  He swallows Bucky in his embrace, kisses his forehead, and whispers, “Hey, I’m so glad you’re here.  Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I’m…” Bucky starts.  “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine; it’s ok.”  He squeezes Bucky closer.  “I have to call Sam.”

Steve holds Bucky to him with one arm while he quickly gives Sam the good news and directions to the empty lot.  As soon as the phone is back in his pocket, Steve moves so both he and Bucky can sit.

The little girl is still hovering, and after confirming that Bucky’s name is in fact James, she launches into the story of what happened.  Bucky gives embarrassed cringes as the girl—Bella—emphasizes words like barfed and boyfriend.

“Yo!” Sam’s sprinting down the sidewalk toward them, Nat at his heels.  Tony’s not far behind, and Steve can see Pepper, Clint, Laura, and the kids a few yards further back.

The adults collapse in a cluster around Bucky and Steve, and Lila and Cooper excitedly join Bella and her brothers with the sparklers.

Laura gives Bucky a thorough maternal shakedown, asking him how he’s feeling and pressing Excedrin and bottled water.

They sit there in giddy relief for a few minutes.  Then, far down on the horizon, small bursts of red and blue start up.  The fireworks display on the National Mall, huge as it is in DC, is tiny from their suburb up the hill.

The kids are pointing and oohing and ahhing.  Steve can hear the booms, like rolling thunder in the distance.  He glances at Bucky, who still looks sick.  “Do you need to go home?”

Bucky’s gazing down at the faraway sparkles.  He hesitates, then nods.  “Right after the show...”  He turns to look at Steve.  “And happy birthday, by the way.”