#everyone has reasons and motivations... but they also have a choice on how they act on it

[runecatwrites]

Let’s talk about Warriors and Wild

This was another “weird” pairing that came out of the latest update.

You’d think that the two with no dungeon experience should each be paired with someone more experienced, right? Well, Warriors isn’t really thinking about that. He has a different motive for choosing Wild to team up with, and no, it’s not because he’s “mad” at him. The reason actually reveals a lot about both of their characters, and displays a great deal of character growth on Warriors' part specifically.

Deep dive under the cut!

Okay first off, let’s get something out of the way. Just because Warriors and Wild have no traditional dungeon experience, that doesn’t make them ill-equipped. Warriors has tons of combat experience and is demonstrably very intelligent. And Wild? Sure he didn’t have traditional dungeons in BotW, but you know what he did have? Puzzles. A TON of puzzles. That guy can do puzzles in his sleep. I highly doubt that he’s gonna have trouble with dungeon puzzles once he figures out how to approach them (which won’t take long).

All right, now that we have that cleared up, moving on!

From the very beginning, Wars holds great respect for Wild:

Because at the start of the adventure, Warriors doesn't realize just how different he is from the others. He gets put with a bunch of guys who share his name and his spirit, so of course he thinks his experience isn’t unique. They’re all just like him, right?

Okay, uh, maybe not? But they still can’t be that different, Warriors thinks. Sky is also a knight, and he acts exactly the way Warriors expects a knight to act.

He catches onto plans immediately:

And follows through flawlessly:

It’s not about authority and Sky’s ability to follow orders. It’s about the fact that Sky is on the same page. He went to military school. He has extensive training. He knows what to do and when, with barely any prompting, because he’s been taught to think the same way Warriors thinks. Warriors and Sky work together perfectly because of this:

But with Wild? Warriors is expecting the exact same thing with Wild, a fellow knight, but what he gets from the Champion is far from what he gets with Sky. This is very unexpected for Warriors. He gives what he thinks is a clear directive:

“Clear out the rest” to Warriors and Sky means “get rid of all the little guys so we can focus on the big guy.” Solid strategy. But Wild does not interpret this the same way, because he does not remember his military training and therefore any of the strategy he was taught. “Clear out the rest” just means get rid of everyone to him. And he decides to eliminate the biggest threat first. It’s important to note here that he’s not “defying orders” because his emotions are getting the better of him, or even because he thinks he shouldn't have been given orders. The way he sees it, he is following orders. Warriors said “clear out the rest.” And that’s what Wild’s helping to do. But then afterwards? Warriors is angry!

The plan? What plan? There was no plan! The goal was just to get rid of everyone! Why does it matter if Wild took out the big guy before the little guys?

It’s at this point that Wild realizes he’s done something wrong, but he doesn’t know what he’s done wrong. (Any other neurodivergent folks here? If so, yeah, you know how this feels. I know I do.)

It’s clear through subsequent interactions that Wild genuinely does not understand what the problem is:

He thought he made the right move, but others don’t seem to think so. He’s already emotional, and this is just adding more fuel to the fire. He snaps, starts a fight with Four, and runs off still feeling confused.

Meanwhile, Warriors is also confused. Why didn’t Wild act the way Warriors thought he would? He’s a knight, right? Why did he do what he did, and how did he not understand that his choice of strategy was incorrect after?

And it’s not just Wild that Warriors failed to read correctly; the others are clashing with him too. Case in point, Twilight’s refusal to hang back after being injured:

In the aftermath of the battle, it’s at this point that Warriors makes a realization: he’s the one who made a mistake. He had preconceived expectations of people, and that ended up majorly backfiring on him.

Warriors knows that he can't be a good teammate - and a good leader - if he doesn't understand where his companions are coming from. Again, it's not about authority, it's about being on the same page. Ever since, he has been trying to seek better understanding. Maybe Wild doesn't feel comfortable taking orders from Warriors, and only listens to those he knows well?

But Twilight said, "No he doesn't." Huh. Okay. Well, maybe Warriors can try to get inside Wild's head? Let's try some bantering! These guys love to banter!

Oops. Fumble. That didn't go well. But hey, at least Wild seems to have figured out what he did wrong!

That's a step in the right direction! Okay, they're getting somewhere, Warriors thinks.

But Wild is really down on himself. He now realizes that he misinterpreted a directive that he should have understood. And thinks that Warriors thinks he's stupid, and hates him. (Again, where my neurodivergent peeps at? Yeah. That feeling.)

Meanwhile, things are becoming clearer to Warriors. Not only does he realize that he shouldn't have viewed his teammates through his own preconceived notions, but for the first time, he also realizes just how different his experience was from everyone else's:

He realizes he's got a LOT of learning to do. His discordance with Wild is proof of that. But Wild has never been in a dungeon either. Maybe this is their chance to connect? Warriors tries once again to get inside Wild's head. Maybe he can try to understand why Wild isn't approaching this dungeon the way Warriors would:

Aaaaand Wild froze up. Dang it. Warriors isn't getting anything. He really needs to figure out what's going wrong here so they can work together. It's for both of their benefit, and the group's benefit as a whole. They need to get on the same page so that they can not only fight together, but be good friends to each other. And when the opportunity arises to team up one-on-one, Warriors jumps at it! This is the perfect opportunity, he thinks!

But right now? Wild doesn't realize that. He thinks that Warriors is mad at him. Warriors is NOT mad at him. Warriors is trying to learn, to better himself, and to forge a connection.

And I believe that even though it's been a bumpy road, we're going to see some amazing growth between Warriors and Wild in the future.

[aryesdanger24]

Hot take: Alastor doesn't like being the weakest in a room and especially wants to be noticed (he is the center of attention). We can see it when Carmille addresses him at the table for his absence and immediately brushes him off. We see him prickling at the comment but he let's it be since he knows them well and recognizes they still know him enough to recognize his absence.

So, Alastor notices immediately how much everyone puts into seeing Lucifer (we see how he observes when he walks in the room), and I bet there is some envy at the attention. Especially when he doesn't immediately notice Alastor and heads for his daughter.

Then Lucifer leaves Charlie to greet the things not even addressed in the show yet like Kiki and the Razzle Dazzle boys. Instantly putting him below everyone on the list in terms of meeting him.

So, he is thoroughly offended and brings attention back to himself by discussing the wall and instantly Lucifer is confused why his daughter didn't answer and then proceeded to belittle Alastor....which uh clearly leads to a FUCK you comment.

It is the result of not only being ignored and belittled, but also that Lucifer is physically and mentally not as focused on his appearance which I feel might play some part Alastor's jealousy. Lucifer doesn't have to constantly defend himself from people. No one underestimates Lucifer so Alastor takes it upon himself to be his number 1 hater. He revels in his own ability to use Lucifer's daughter as a shield and even a cover to create more distress in the other.

A show that is directly pointed at Lucifer and using Charlie's trust in him to his advantage, he shields and pisses off Lucifer in the process by acting fatherly. That way Lucifer cannot harm him unless he wants Charlie to hate him, which also doubles as a way to be better than Lucifer.

After all, Alastor loves to prey upon weakness and be right about it.

I am not saying that Alastor is not potentially affected by someone (Lillith perhaps?) Which leads him to act this way. Also I am not sure why Alastor let Lucifer finish his father daughter song with Charlie if he aimed to strike issue between them. I think the dad off duet might've been in some way showing Lucifer how absent he was as a father to motivate him to be better.

Regardless of motive, I stick to my theory of Alastor wanting attention which why he has his radio show despite not even killing. He is searching for people to notice him and his absence. Much like when a kid goes on vacations and comes back hoping people ask where they have been.

Update: I have since watched the finale of Hazbin

My view has not changed other than solidifying this envious narcissistic Alastor theory.

The envious part of his so easily seen at the end of the finale as he sang to himself. He desperately wants to be free and clearly has some power being held away by the one who owns him....which only plays into this envy he has towards others.

Moreover, it makes all his little jabs at his character all the more intriguing. He knows his power has been strapped away to some degree but like he tells Charlie "A smile can hide many things and keep you in control no matter what."

That is Alastor's game.

He offered true advise for her for 2 reasons:

1. To avoid extermination since he himself has been limited in power.

2. To reward her for being so easy to manipulate (giving candy to a good kid)

It shows to viewers that Alastor is confident enough to give his behavior away to Charlie. Despite her position she always gave him the respect and fear he craved while being easier to manipulate than most.

Being around her makes him feel powerful and even the hotel does...which is another reason why I believe he is so touchy about being reminded of his deal. This place is clearly a hunting ground that he doesnt want Husk ruining since he is bound here. He is attached to either a main cast member (Charlie being the more obvious choice) or the hotel itself but it's much more likely a cast member.

All and all, that fact makes all the power positioning and false threats and pompous attitude a front to avoid people sensing weakness, but I really believe Alastor craves to be noticed since he gets so many comments about radio being dead and such. He is finding relevancy despite the potential dangers of someone actually calling his bluff. It shows his narcisstic attitude well, that he truly believes he can either talk or bluff his way out of any situation with a dangerous smile.

Also I live for Lucifer and Alastor's rivalry and hatred toward eachother, I hope season 2 has more of their banter.

[themisteriousentity]

"Golden Deer is boring though it's lackluster, the characters aren't as strong as the other paths there's less conflict-"

You fool. You absolute buffon. Golden Deer is perfectly designed. Not only does it feed into the whole "alliance" theme well by having the characters still work together despite their differences and feelings well before hitting those A supports, but it's ALSO the only route that actually puts the focus on YOU the player. Or, rather, Byleth themself

Black Eagle is about whether or not you can agree to Edelgard's ideals of acceptable sacrifice and perspective that there's only 1 way to do things. The branching happens when you decide whether or not you agree, but ultimately it just explores opposing or agreeing with Edelgard. Anything more than that is really just incidental to that main concept, whether it's Crimson Flower or Silver Snow, the entire time you're focused either on helping Edelgard achieve her goals or you're focused on showing her how wrong she is alongside the Black Eagles who think it's their duty to correct Edelgard's wrongs (and I have a whole separate thing in regards to how the cast acts in Crimson Flower verses Silver Snow). It works really well for characters designed around an empire, a domineering form of government where (usually) a singular ruler determines the course and focus

Blue Lions is focused entirely on working on past issues and learning to bring yourself into the present, but it's done almost entirely through the cast more than the player. The Blue Lions themselves all have their own traumas and deep-seated past issues that hinder or help progress. While both Blue Lions and Black Eagles have a lot in common when it comes to traumatized characters and ideology, the ideology is front and center, while in Boue Lions, their interpersonal conflicts are front and center. This shows especially in the final (non romance) scene, where Dimitri decides that his personal attachment to Edelgard and past memories still matter, and he reaches out a hand, despite her immediately trying to kill him. It's fitting for a route designed around a kingdom, which is usually built entirely on interpersonal dealings between the ruling class

Golden Deer, however, is designed very differently. Unlike the other 3 routes, the player, or more specifically Byleth, is put as the driving force instead of the Lord. And this is actually what makes Golden Deer such a good route and one with the best ending of all of them. Claude has ideals, but he isn't a person who wants to force others to follow his path like Edelgard. Claude has lived a life of strife where his past motivates him, but it doesn't chain him the same way it does Dimitri. Instead, he works on understanding everyone around him and working together towards agreed upon goals, while taking on stuff that isn't agreed upon onto himself. But more than that, while all the Lord's value your opinion, Claude is the only one who actually takes what Byleth wants (rather than just what they think about specific matters) into consideration for his plans. Repeatedly you tell Seteth in Silver Snow that you don't want to kill Edelgard, but he pushes that you have no choice. Pretty much the entire first half of Azure Moon is Dimitri ignoring you. And in Crimson Flower, you've all but completely submitted to Edelgard's will with a couple of exceptions (which actually proves my point because it's specifically in regards to the Golden Deer because you can fight the entirety of Crimson Flower while sparing all of them except for Judith). But in Verdant Wind, Claude doesn't hide that he has a problem with the church and wants Rhea gone. In Golden Wildfire, without Byleth, he's more than happy to just get rid of her without a second thought. But when Byleth is the protagonist, he goes out of his way to accommodate your wants into his plans and goals. When you express as the player that you want to reason with Edelgard and ponder if you can't walk the same path, Claude agrees with you and says he'll make it happen if he can, with the other Golden Deer mostly agreeing. When that,can't happen you both lament the fact that Edelgard gave you no choice together. He makes finding Rhea a priority, mostly because as curious as he is in general, he wants to help you find out answers only Rhea can give you. And all of the Golden Deer do this to some extent, with each other but also with you as the player. I think Hilda and Marianne's A supports with Byleth show this best personally, but that's a personal opinion. And it just works so well for a route designed around the idea of an alliance, people coming together and agreeing to work towards a goal bigger than themselves

And that's not to say the other routes aren't as good as Golden Deer, they're all equally well written, but it just makes me sad when I see people giving the Golden Deer route grief just because the characters aren't the same when it does its theme so beautifully

[inafieldofstarflowers]

Having alternate POVs gives a more rounded perspective of so many parts of aftg, but I think that Jean specifically gives a more in-depth view of Kevin which is deeply necessary to understand his character.

On multiple occasions throughout his narration, Neil comments on Kevin’s single-minded focus on Exy. This makes sense, because Exy is at the heart of Kevin and Neil’s relationship and is central to the overarching conflict of the books. Neil gives his game to Kevin, and Kevin takes that seriously. Moreover, Kevin has something to prove, to himself and to the world, and the success of the Foxes in their season is key to his success in proving his worth, so of course he’s focused on it. Also, Kevin just truly does love Exy: he’s spent his whole life working hard to get to where he is by the time the series begins, and he clearly did that because he cares just as much as he did it because it was expected—it makes sense that he loves the Trojans, because they play for love of the game, not just for the desire to win.

When Jean’s narration discussed Kevin, it agrees with all of these things: Kevin is fanatical and he loves the Trojans (even though his playing style is incongruous with theirs, as Jean points out) and he is arrogant, though not without cause. It also, however, gives peeks at a softer side of Kevin. Part of this is because so many interactions between Kevin and Jean are colored by Kevin’s guilt at leaving Jean behind, and the validity of Jean’s accusation that Kevin twisted the knife as he left, but regardless of the reason, Kevin lets his walls down ever so slightly when it comes to Jean, and while he’s still standoffish, it’s also evident how deeply he cares about the people he loves. Jean notices this side of him, though he doesn’t typically mention it outright, being justifiably angry with Kevin; he leans closest to admitting it when others criticize or doubt Kevin’s motivations, unwilling to let them misrepresent him.

Kevin Day is the ultimate fake idgaf-er. He has his people—Andrew, Neil, and Jean, but also the Foxes as a whole—and he sticks by them. He believes in them. His faith in Andrew keeps him going, his confidence in Neil gives him space to dream about the future, and his trust in Jean is what he falls back on (when he learns about the district change, when Neil is headed to the Nest),

Applying that lens to the original trilogy makes so many of Kevin’s actions stand out, even though Neil rarely flags them as significant or identifies them as a result of either his desire to show up Riko or his fear of retribution (which Neil sees as cowardice, while Jean intimately understands the way that bone-deep terror mixes with a cultivated, years-long habit of obedience to make a cage that is nearly impossible to escape).

In this light, Kevin’s love for the Trojans looks like a small act of defiance. His History major—of which Neil makes only a passing mention—gains weight as evidence of other passions strong enough to get Kevin to fight. Kevin’s plea for Neil to leave after he learns his identity, his decision to agree to train Neil every night, and his initial refusal to accept Neil’s choice to go to the Nest at Christmas are all highlighted, exemplifying how much he cares about Neil. Every act of defiance—every time Kevin stands up for or by the Foxes, each interview where he indicates he is where he wants to be, each moment he supports Neil instead of trying to change him—gain weight with Jean’s commentary on the trauma that comes from the Nest.

Kevin Day is an Exy player. He is arrogant and irritable and abrasive; he has built himself around his success. He has also built himself a net to fall back on out of the people he has chosen to have faith in, chooses to find worth in people the rest of the world has written off and fight for them to achieve the version of themselves everyone else has long stopped believing they could be. He is the Son of Kayleigh Day and David Wymack, and he takes after each of them in spite of growing up mostly apart from both of them.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

I saw somewhere (here on Tumblr but I don't remember from who) that the creator of Dreamtale apparently wanted Driller to become canon at some point. And, I gotta say, I don't think that relationship would be healthy for Killer.

Here's my thing, Dream is very focused on helping his brother and getting his brother back. And Killer is a paranoid fucker who for very good reason thinks everyone is out to use him.

How would Dream ever be able to convince Killer that he isn't using him to get closer to Nightmare? How would he ever convince him that his kindness and affection don't have ulterior motives?

With Color it's a lot easier because Color isn't really affiliated with Nightmare in any way. Like, I don't think he'd leave him to die if he found him injured somewhere, but I also don't think he'd be going out of his way to try and help him. And definitely not as publicly as Dream does.

Like, how could Killer ever truly feel safe in that relationship? And that's without considering the fact that power corrupted Nightmare, but he started as Dream's twin. Meaning that Dream theoretically has just as much capacity to become corrupted as Nightmare did. And he's powerful (of course, Color himself isn't weak, but, again, his powers are further removed from Nightmare's), would Killer wanna risk ending up trapped simply under a different apple twin? I mean, maybe, he doesn't exactly have that many self preservation instincts. But would he be truly happy with that choice?

I also don’t think it’d help Dream either. Dream is constantly on the move, keeping ahead of Nightmare, trying to keep that last golden apple safe. He cannot provide the stability Killer needs because everyone else is always pulling him in different directions and his duty as the Guardian of Positivity would understandably be placed above Killer. It is important.

Color isn’t exactly known for staying in one spot either, but he is consistent and committed to Killer in a way Dream simply cannot afford to do. Not at the cost of everyone else, Dream has a lot of responsibility, or at least he may feel he does. I wouldn’t doubt he struggles to maintain a “work” and personal life balance, whereas Color does not have this type of responsibility to the Multiverse.

The only responsibility Color has to anyone or anything except Killer is the six human souls. Aka six dead children he has absorbed and will spend the rest of his life taking care of, alongside Killer. This will be a terribly exhausting thing and huge responsibility, and Color understands that, but he’s willing and able to take the commitment. And he has friends to support and help him.

Would Dream be able to handle it or understand when Killer is cued or triggered? Would he be able to understand when he refuses to eat, or manipulates, or acts out, when killer tests and pokes and prods at him. Would he be able to understand willing vs conditioned submission, would he be able to understand dissociation and fawn responses.

Would he rely on his empathy abilities far too much when doing so won’t get him nowhere with Stage 2, and could potentially have effects on Nightmare’s own emotional conditioning of Killer.

Would he be able to understand how killer can be a threat to himself or others—his desensitization and comfort with violence and self mutilatation. Whenever Chara starts whispering and Killer starts feeling watched, judged.

A sense of impending doom if he doesn’t do what Chara wants. A sense that it’ll all be Reset if he doesn’t keep up the Deal, and none of this will matter in the end.

Would he be able to understand the pure intensely of Stage 1’s emotions—which could lead to self destructive breakdowns when he feels like he doesn’t deserve kindness or happiness or safety or even the right to exist.

Stage 4’s inclination towards self destruction at any sign or fear of being restricted from fulfilling the Deal, any sign of failure—which while inevitably happen because Dream cannot allow Killer to go around killing people.

Would Dream be able to understand why Stage 4 will feel it has to—wants to—die if it can’t kill people or destroy worlds—because that wouldn’t make sense to anyone, but that’s what it looks like from the outside.

Stage 4 wouldn’t explain what’s going on internally—it would think Dream should already understand if he’s a handler, or that it is unimportant that he understands if hes not a handler—so long as it’s done.

Would Dream be able to accept Killer as he is without feeling the need to look for something “good” in him all the time. He’s afraid of Killer when he’s in Stage 2—even him going to touch him caused Dream to get scared.

Killer has hurt Dream before, and doesn’t feel remorse and I’m sure Dream can sense that—but he keeps looking for something “positive” and “good” in Killer.

Color doesn’t really care if Killer is good or not, he doesn’t need him to be—and he didn’t need to sense any positive emotion from Killer to tell he needed help or is capable of change or is secretly a “good person” deep down.

Killer asked for help, he asked to be saved, and so Color is helping and saving. He expressed a desire for change, a want to get and be better—but more importantly, that he wanted out.

And of course, Killer will think Dream is trying to use him to get to Nightmare. Stage 2 always does think of himself as something for others to use—a tool, a weapon, a resource.

But whereas Color can easily argue back that he really doesn’t gain any benefit from helping Killer besides a friend and a feeling of happiness/purpose, Dream will always have a benefit from trying to save Killer.

Save Nightmare, find out more about Nightmare, use Killer against Nightmare, take Killer off the field and away from Nightmare’s grasp so he cant be used as a weapon against the Multiverse. These are all noble goals that anyone would understandably have, but to Killer—it’s still using him.

Color is in position to uniquely challenge Killer’s worldview and the time and resources needed to dedicate to him. Dream has a lot more going on, a war to win. A brother to save. People to protect. The poor man will be running himself into the ground taking on more than he can handle.

{ @stellocchia }

[arvandus]

Thinking about how adorably awkward Diavolo is, but also how sad he is too. This guy grew up super isolated with a father that neglected him, a “friend” that was obligated to play with him and cater to his every whim, and essentially raised by an ancient time demon that he “bullied” into serving him.

This poor guy has never ever had a single person be around him/with him by choice. Imagine what that does to him, to his self-esteem. The only one who has been with him by choice is Barbatos, but every now and then, Diavolo will doubt even that much, considering how he had “forced” him into serving him when he was younger (logically he knows Barbatos could have refused him; he was powerful enough to… but even then, the doubt lingers).

On top of that, he’s trying to join the three realms in a peaceful way, which I would guess not everyone in the Devildom is okay with.

Even when the angels fell, and Lucifer requested his help, Diavolo did it on the condition that Lucifer (and by proxy his brothers) serve him and the Devildom. Because even though they may have been somewhat friends (remember Diavolo planted an apple tree for Lucifer when he was still an angel), Diavolo had to act as a prince first, setting his own personal desires aside. His help would come at a price.

Everything he does is so motivated by this deep-rooted loneliness, forced by his position and power, and the choices he has to make because of it, keeping him isolated from others.

This persistent isolation and always being served by others has left a huge deficit in his people/relationship skills. The wild shit he says or does when interacting with those he cares about isn’t even intended to cross boundaries or rile them up half the time. He genuinely means it in the most innocent way. He hasn’t exactly learned what’s appropriate and what’s not appropriate (after all, the only friend he had was Mephisto, who worships the ground he walks on and never tells him no to anything). So he’s learning that now, albeit a bit late. He really just gets an idea that sounds nice in his head, inspired by his love and respect for that person, and says it out loud in an effort to deepen his relationship (ie, friendship) with them. And fortunately for him, Lucifer is able to be patient enough with him and maintain those boundaries as he figures out all of the nuances of socially and culturally acceptable communication and relationship building.

That’s not to say that there aren’t times where Diavolo doesn’t say or do things on purpose with the intent of giving others a hard time. He’ll definitely say things to get under Lucifer’s skin; he likes to fluster him, and for Diavolo, even bad attention is better than no attention. But I think there’s also another purpose to it, albeit subconsciously, in that it allows him to experience healthy boundaries which he never had when he was younger. Lucifer has no problem saying no to him, even at times when Barbatos doesn’t (Barbatos is strict, but he’ll also dote on Diavolo at times too, in a motherly way). It allows Diavolo to feel equal with Lucifer, more friends/comrades than ruler/oath-bound servant.

It’s also the same reason (partially) why he tries to escape his work half the time, or will come up with wild ideas that Barbatos has to say no to. He likes pushing (just a little) against the boundaries placed by others in order to meet that resistance. In a weird way it’s how he knows that they genuinely care about him rather than simply serve him out of obligation. They tell him no when he needs to hear it, but they’re also forgiving.

He’s always known he’s not perfect, yet he was treated like he was for so long. It created a dissonance between who he was told he was versus how he was experiencing himself. Now, he’s allowed to experience, understand, and accept his own imperfections through those closest to him and how they respond to him when they maintain their boundaries. It validates his own self perception of being imperfect while also allowing room for growth and understanding that the imperfections are acceptable/allowed to be there.

I think the last lingering doubt of others’ genuine love for him is the fact that they literally cannot leave him, at least not without consequences. Sure, they can disagree, even fight him. But in the end, he’s the prince, and they’re bound to him by duty and oaths. If they weren’t bound, would they still stay and continue to be there for him? Or are they merely tolerating him? It’s an insecurity that still plagues him.

Anyway… not sure where I was going with this. Brain is just stuck ruminating on it. He’s such an interesting character, I love him so much.

[burningdreambanana]

An analysis on how the show turned Alicent into an accidental villain (part 1)

I think we are all disappointed with the way Alicent was portrayed this season but I think the issues with her character started in season 1, with the writers inability to give her good motivations, or even settle on what her motivations should be, which doomed her character from the start.

In interviews about season 1, Alicent is described as the medieval equivalent of a "Trump Wife" (which is very dumb in itself, since contrary to a modern conservative woman, Alicent doesn't exactly have much choice but to the accept the patriarchy) but essentially they meant Alicent, contrary to Rhaenyra, supports the patriarchy, the existing system : this is her worldview, she is a traditionalist.

But is this true? The answer is no. Alicent does not support the patriarchy in the show. In fact, she supported Rhaenyra's claim over her own's son right up until she had a personal grievance against Rhaenyra. And once she doesn't have that personal grievance anymore because she forgives Rhaenyra in S1E8, she's back to accepting her as queen.

If the writers wanted Alicent to be a supporter of the patriarchy, then they should have made her support Aegon's claim from his very birth. Which makes perfect sense, Alicent has grown in a world where all she's ever known is male primogeniture and it is still the law everywhere in the realm. Her nonchalance at her son being passed over when being the heir should be his birthright is really weird and was the first sign that the writers are unable to let go of their modern sensibilities and really immerse themselves (and us) in Westeros. They also decided to make the threat posed by Rhaenyra on Alicent's sons lives as a mere lie invented by Otto, when in fact Rhaenyra's claim is so shaky (and becomes shakier when she has bastards) that there's a huge likelihood that she would indeed need to get rid of them in order to ascend the throne in peace and secure the Strong boys's ascenscion to the throne as well.

If they had followed with that, than Alicent would have had solid motivations : the unfairness and humiliation of having her son being depraved of what should have been his birthright, and her legitimate fear for her children's safety.

Instead, since they made Alicent turn on Rhaenyra because of a personal grievance, she ends up looking like this petty, bitter, crazy woman who made everyone's life much more miserable, damaged her sons and put all her family in danger because of a grudge.

And it doesn't help that her grudge is poorly explained and pretty confusing. What exactly is Alicent so angry about ? Is it because, like Emily Carey said, she was in love with Cole? We didn't see that all in the show and Rhaenyra had no way of knowing so it would be insane to be this pissed for that. Is it because she in love with Rhaenyra and basically acting like a crazy ex even though they never were together and she herself is married? Is it because during their confrontation Rhaenyra didn't reveal her affair with Cole and implied she was virgin (though she never actually said)? It would be pretty rich of Alicent to be pissed about that considering she concealed her meetings with Viserys to Rhaenyra for months. Did she assume that because Rhaenyra slept with Cole than it must have been true she had sex with Daemon in a brothel? Is she just that pissed that Rhaenyra had sex out of wedlock ? (it would make sense for her to be disappointed but angry?).

All of these possible reasons make Alicent look frankly irrational and insane.

Then when her anger is finally justified after what happened to Aemond, this is where she decides to forgive Rhaenyra, making her apparent fear of her children's lives she transmitted to them look like a lie she made up to justify her anger and turn her children against Rhaenyra and her kids.

Her final motivation of S1, which is to follow Viserys "last command" doesn't make her look innocent, it makes her look worse. Not just because it's so dumb she actually believed Viserys changed his mind, but because we know for a fact Alicent has had not trouble disregarding Viserys wishes before, even to his face. But now that he is dead she acts like she has no choice? And forces Aegon on a throne he doesn't want, somehow acting as if this is not a declaration of war towards Rhaenyra and Daemon, and still taking a holier than thou, I can have this and peace too attitude.

[wetcatspellcaster]

Veilguard Thoughts

(my sort-of review, more of a ramble, below the cut in case of spoilers)

I had particularly low expectations for this game, as it felt to me like it was rushed out to try and hit the BG3 crowd and get them to pay £70 at the point where their hyperfixation was failing them. It felt like a very commercially-motivated decision, and I tried to modify my expectations accordingly.

I then started playing... and had to modify my expectations again.

But with two lowering of expectations completed... I genuinely enjoyed this game! I had fun! Sort of! if I squint!!

Thoughts!

I am not a competent gamer, so I like combat that feels fun and engaging without being challenging or a chore (cough, BG3 Act 3, cough), but without being lazy either. I played as a mage in Veilguard and I felt like this hit a sweet spot - moments where I was stressed kind-of invested, no moments when I was bored. The graphics for mage (for spellblade particularly) were awesome and badass, and I loved to new mode of engaging with the mage class in orb and dagger.

I understand the frustration with a lot of lore being retconned, ignored, or wilfully erased or moved away from. Some parts I understood: I do think Veilguard tries to make a move away from grimdark, not out of disloyalty to the franchise and it's roots, but bc grimdark is a very different prospect now than when Origins released. it's a genre that gets a lot more criticism and bad press, and that some people feel genuinely uncomfortable perpetuating as a results. While Origins is my favourite dragon age game, there's a lot of insane things you need to just let slide to enjoy it - like the fact that multiple origins begin with some kind of rape and sexual assault if you're playing as a woman. I don't think retconning that stuff is anything other than being politically savvy, and a little more sensitive to how fantasy has changed.

(I also think this is why they've moved away from the chantry conflict to be honest. Like the optics of Christian religions in fantasy has also changed, and let's be honest, Dragon Age had already fucked THAT, multiple times.)

I did however, like everyone, find it a bit disheartening to see how little Keep decisions mattered. Why is there no Keiran with Morrigan? why can't Mythal move to an inquisitor who drank the Well of Sorrows instead? why is my Inquisitor defending Solas when she ended the game hating him? Why is Hawke being in the Fade meaningless? I know this is just echoing what people have already said, but it was sad to see the 'conclusion' to the franchise (that probably isn't the end, let's be honest, not now that people paid £70 for an underwritten game) was even less satisfying in terms of choice and agency than ME3

This game deliberately skewed itself to read as a 'better DA2', than a 'worse, rushed inquistion'. IDK, it just makes me feel a bit grossed out, and manipulated. I mean, we know DA2 can be made in crunch, lads!!!!! :)))

Criticisms!

EVERYTHING is underwritten. The game is woefully short. If I can complete all the sidequests in a game, then something is wrong. The romances, the character arcs, the main quest, the dialogues. Everything was sparse, with the bare bones of a plot, that (in the case of companions quests) was rarely seen through to a full and satisfying conclusion. And I *know* that's not the writers fault, necessarily, but that doesn't mean it couldn't be done better.

There's so much potential, but I found that most of the companions could be boiled down to one or two traits, and while I can see people headcanoning reasons for this in real time, it's just... underwriting, or bad writing. Extremely telling to me that both Emmrich and Davrin were my favourite companions... because they had their own companions. That meant that they had multiple story hooks - their professions, their relationships, and then their little guys. They got three things, when most people only got two.

This was particularly egrerious for me with Taash, because they started out amazing, and I ended up being extremely disappointed as I watched both them and their mother being reduced down to flat one-dimension caricatures and a tired queer narrative of 'my parents hate me'. Only, this time, it's 'my immigrant parents hate me'. when you couple the reductive approach to Taash with bioware's inability to write the Qunari well or without falling into Orientalism??? they're suddenly an evil repressive queer phobic religion after being supportive of trans characters in inquisition???? you're telling me Shathann, a woman who was forced into a more feminine role by circumstance but considered herself more genderless/masculine as a scholar, wouldn't be on board with non-binary identity? just galling tbh.

The romances are underwritten. And they are badly written, to me. Luckily I know we'll have fic, but in Inquisition, each romance was 90 minutes worth of content. In Veilguard, Lucanis's romance is the longest... at 18 minutes. It just seems stupid and strange to me - if this game is chasing on BG3's coat-tails, why don't they know everyone is fucking horny?

While I liked the decision to give companions more banter together and flesh out their interpersonal relationships, I felt that the balance was off... probably bc it's cheaper to have two actors share a piece of scripted dialogue, than voice a decision tree. It meant that to me Rook often felt like a bystander in their own story, or excluded from their own found family. HR Manager-core, as it were.

General uselessness of the Lords of Fortune coupled with the Orientalism of the Lords of Fortune.... big sad.

I think the choice between Lace and Davrin is highly!!!! suspect!! do you go with fantasy racism (kill off the only dwarf, thus meaning all your dwarf companions are dead in the game, including the one who represented to future for her people) or the real racism (kill off the black man). I really wish this decision was more reactive, and perhaps based in faction strength or character bond, not just a pre-set choice.

I'll never care about solas, the way trick weekes wants me to care about solas. pretty dumb decision, to make a whole game contingent on this fact.

The ending and epilogue screens were underwhelming, and left the game feeling incomplete to me.

Joys!

To end on a more positive note...

everyone is hot. I honestly think everyone is hot. No other dragon age game had a cast of characters whom i all found attractive. This is unheard of. This is why I know all the fic will be fucking stellar.

And you know who else is hot? Rook. Genuinely one of my favourite DA protagonists! Maybe bc of the faction thing, or just the chemistry of the VA I chose. I just felt like she was pretty fucking hot tbh, and that more people in-game should be taking notice of it. Everyone should stop having conversations with each other and start desiring Rook carnally.

Weisshaupt was genuinely an amazing sequence and questline. In fact, I loved that this game featured Grey Wardens more heavily, and I loved all the lore about Wardens that was introduced.

Assan!! <3 Manfred!!! <3

Bellara and Neve kissing with tongue!!! No, I will not elaborate!!!

(I think that Bellara and Neve were two characters who did have strong stories, and that they should kiss about it.)

Elgarnan and Ghilanain.... never before has a dragon age game known what it's like to have a charismatic villain. This time, we got two. Ghilanain was my favourite, bc I'm fucking gay, but even interactions with Elgarnan and his boss battle felt engaging. I honestly don't think a dragon age game has ever had a good villain before, and these guys were both fucking cool.

[patron-saints]

on morality & madeleine: interview with the vampire meta (written after s2e6)

so far, i’ve found that trying to process my thoughts on madeleine feels really difficult when everyone online has their own opinions and their own biases. this post is kind of my attempt to sort out how i feel about her, and to refute and explore some arguments i’ve seen pop up in her tag.

i think the people who are pointing out that first and foremost these are fictional characters have it right: they’re not real people, their relative morality is only relevant as it pertains to the story itself. and in a story like interview with the vampire, your baseline is that every main character is a killer. in terms of morality, evaluating whether or not a character is a good person is pretty useless and also just… isn’t the point of the story. all characters are functions of a narrative, all characters are tools that you use to tell a story. their morality should not be judged in the same way as you would a real person’s! now. all that being said, let’s have some fun judging* madeleine anyway!

*doing some of my own biased character analysis on

what we know comes to us from a few sources: claudia’s diary, which daniel can read, (decent primary source, but filtered with her biases), louis’s recollection of madeleine’s memories (secondary source that relies on both of their ability to remember clearly) and presumably, louis and armand’s recollections of their interactions as well, which isn’t a whole lot to begin with.

part 1: the nazi fucking

when madeleine talks about sleeping with a nazi to claudia, she’s extremely casual about it. while she notes he brought her food, and cigarettes, she says in a way that invokes a courtship ritual, rather than a direct bribe. it’s impossible to divorce this from the context though: her neighbors are starving, and she was brought food. it likely was a bribe, but what’s important is that she doesn’t relay it as one. her focus when she starts talking about him is on the connection: “it was the comfort, the proof of life,” as she says. if she had been coerced, or if she felt like she had no choice in the matter, i think she would have presented it a little differently. but her affection for the guy is clear, and she even mocks him a little to claudia. in her own words, “i wasn’t inviting hitler to stay in france, i was inviting a frightened boy to cradle my tits.” 

which. let’s be real here: to claudia, she is downplaying it. she slept with an occupying soldier during an occupation. watching this scene for the first time, you could even reasonably assume she doesn’t get how serious that is. but once you see the degree of punishment she faced, and continues to face for her actions, you realize her framing here is a learned defense against genuine violence. she feels she has to downplay it to herself and to claudia because there is an imbalance here. it becomes harder to admit to your wrongdoings when the punishments you face for them feel wildly disproportionate.

madeleine did something she never should have done, something she doesn’t feel remorse for, but something that she’s being punished for in a way that far exceeds what any person deserves.

when she talks about it to armand, her framing changes again. she calls it a love, still, so the affection is still present, but she places a greater emphasis on doing what it takes to survive, implying more so that sleeping with a nazi was an act of self-preservation. regardless of whether this is more true than how she presents things to claudia, she has a motivation here too.

when she shares her experiences with claudia, she’s flirting, trying to make her laugh, trying to make a connection, and this part might be subconsciously, but she is certainly trying to get claudia to like her. when she talks to armand, however, she’s actively trying to convince him to grant her the dark gift. she has to portray herself as capable, as self-sufficient, and discerning, and it works! even though he denies her based on his own biases, armand is visibly impressed by all of madeleine’s answers to his questions.

and all we get from louis was that the experience was sweet. and let’s be real, it did look pretty sweet.

i don’t believe madeleine has any hatred for the boy she slept with. i don’t think there’s any evidence she has any hatred for jewish people either, or for her country, which her neighbors believe she betrayed. i think she chose to prioritize a moment of human connection (and possibly food) over the greater consequences of her actions.

i have been looking for the post again since i saw it, so if anyone sees it lmk! but! the op talked about the fact that madeleine as a collaborator isn’t changing her behavior in any meaningful way now: she watched claudia kill in front of her, and instead of running, she once again invited the danger in, joined up with it. i believe the post said something like: once a collaborator, always a collaborator.

this has really stuck with me and i really wish i could reference it properly.

cuz i think there is something there—i think madeleine’s self-preservation instinct is a little screwed on wrong, i think she is acting similarly with claudia as she did with the nazi, but i think it’s not just about the danger. portraying her choice to follow claudia as a cold moment of choosing survival takes away from her complexity, and from the veracity of her feelings for claudia. so, not just the danger. i think it’s about the connection again.

the connection she has with claudia is real, the love she has for claudia is incredibly real. but madeleine is once again prioritizing an interpersonal connection over anything else, and that is the pattern she’s repeating here.

part 2: the apparent age gap issues

every single person who says their relationship is problematic because claudia is a child owes me and claudia fifty bucks.

i don’t really even want to get into that because i don’t think it’s worth my time. the show has put a lot of effort into demonstrating that claudia is an adult trapped in the body of a teenager, and that experience is hard enough on her without all you people insisting she’s still a kid anyway.

however, there’s a secondary argument i’ve seen which i do want to address, which is madeleine’s perception of her.

in their first meeting in the shop, it’s clear that madeleine is seeing claudia as a teenager. she calls her one directly, and references her “body about to bloom” when they meet again two years later. however, when they do meet two years later, claudia has not grown. we know madeleine has noticed this by the dress fitting scene for certain, but it wouldn’t be unreasonable to assume she noticed that sooner. additionally, in the same breath, madeleine also references claudia’s “mind of a sophisticate.” by the time claudia tells her that her growth was stunted due to the war, it’s extremely likely that madeleine had already reached a similar conclusion. she doesn’t look surprised at all when claudia says it, and it’s because claudia seems like an adult. even if she doesn’t look like one, she carries herself like one, she makes conversation like one, and it’s very easy for madeleine to accept the reality that she is one, because she may have suspected as much already. 

the reason i say all of this is because i’ve seen multiple people saying it’s inappropriate for her to flirt with claudia before she knows she’s an adult.

is their interaction at the shop window flirting? are they flirting outside the theatre, just after the play? both of these scenes are before claudia says her growth was stunted. i think it’s impossible to say they were definitively flirtatious, but i will certainly say there was a vibe. and i think that’s… kind of fine actually ? two people can have chemistry and it doesn’t have to mean anything about them morally. and my coworker andy said it would have been weirder if they had no chemistry and then did suddenly after madeleine realizes she’s an adult, which made me laugh, and which i think is correct. i like the way they get along before the dress fitting, i think those scenes are fun, and the ambiguity of the flavor adds to it.

i did see at least one post that said it was inappropriate for madeleine to talk about sex frankly with claudia if she thinks she’s a teenager, and to that i say. you can talk to teens about sex. even if she didn’t suspect claudia was older, it’s still fine. they are friends, and she’s sharing an experience she had because claudia asked her about it. 

additionally, it’s both a very contemporary & a very american idea that People Under 18 need to be kept from conversations about sex. frankness about sexuality is in fact, very french lol.  

i did originally think that this was after the conversation about claudia not growing, but i just watched the scene again to be sure and it was, in fact, also before, but i think my point stands. 

i don’t know for certain if she intended to come across as flirtatious in these scenes, but i know something clicked for her right around her confession. you can see it, when they lock eyes in the mirror, that whatever the vibe is, they’ve both clocked it. and she finds out claudia’s older than she looks only seconds later, because she’s the one pointing out that claudia hasn’t grown. (but, yes, i’ll add anyway: after claudia says her growth was stunted, and after that moment of connection, madeleine’s expressions do seem a lot more… Interested too, lol). 

i understand and i empathize so much with people’s criticisms of madeleine’s past. i have no intention to exonerate her in that regard (other than her previously mentioned narrative tool status) but i will jump to her defense when it comes to her relationship with claudia.

madeleine sees claudia as an adult, because claudia is an adult.

if they weren’t vampires, and if they weren’t queer in the 1940s, maybe she’d be worried about how others saw their relationship. or maybe it would be weird if she didn’t care how it looked. but given that the only people who will know they’re romantically together are other vampires, i don’t see her lack of concern for the optics being that much of an issue either.

and the reason she’s not concerned is because she knows what claudia is to her. which brings us to:

part 3: the sister stuff

once again i think the show does a pretty good job of refuting this one on its own, but i’d like to get all my arguments in the same place.

so. i see “don’t worry about the blood, it’s the blood that made you,” getting thrown around a lot as proof that madeleine is replacing claudia as her sister.

why would they have a scene that directly refutes this if they were true? when louis asks if that’s what’s going on, claudia says they already “had it out,” and madeleine clarifies that claudia is nothing like her sister, and cannot be a replacement.

“don’t worry about the blood, it’s the blood that made you,” is something that madeleine says because she loves claudia, because she loves the person and the vampire that she is. because she wants claudia to know that her past does not define her. because she wants her to know she doesn’t feel tainted by it, and that claudia doesn’t have to either.

and yeah, it’s not that there’s zero incestuous tones to it! or to the whole arrangement, certainly. but i think any that are there pretty neatly fall under the “iwtv typical wire crossings” flavor rather than the “you’re my dead sister’s replacement” flavor.

so, yeah. despite saying fictional character morality doesn’t matter, i’ve just written several paragraphs trying to figure out if madeleine is a good person or not. really, though, that’s not the question iwtv wants us to ask, or the question i really want to ask its viewers either. is madeleine a good person? eh, probably not. is madeleine a good person for claudia? absolutely.

on this, iwtv is extremely clear. madeleine is an ideal partner. she’s not scared, she’s not surrounded by friends and family she’d grieve, she’s weirdly suited to vampirism, and she loves claudia so much. they share a morbid sense of humor, they’re comfortable teasing each other, they communicate in an extremely healthy way, and every single step of their relationship is based on consent.

the entire time i was watching her scene with armand, i just kept whispering, “oh my god, she’s perfect.” she nailed absolutely every question because she’s perfect for what she’s supposed to do as character, as a function of the narrative she is a part of. madeleine is perfect because she is perfect for claudia.

[impyssadobsessions]

Prompt/Relationship Analysis/Headcanon DPxDC

Okay This can be taken as a prompt~ As I love to dive into possibilities of WHAT IF- Basically after becoming friends/adopted by the bats and entering the hero circle he starts to become insecure in his place as a hero. Not feeling good enough.

So I can imagine after Danny befriends/gets in touch with the batfamily in some way. Like they've pretty much adopted him and now he's surrounded by heroes- (Both from Gotham and outside of it) That he starts to get insecure about his heroics as phantom. He starts to get to know other vigilantes, some with similar struggles and then it just dawns on him that they're better at it then him.. in every way. There is always someone who has one of his powers and does it better. Who can do the only thing he has been dedicating himself to- way better. And it hurts. Danny who grew up with a "perfect" older sister and being known as the failure of the two-I can see his insecurity eat at him. The feeling of not being good enough. Which is bad if mixing his trauma and guilt of a future that never happened or fear of losing everyone. ESPECIALLY because he's close to the bats.. The batfamily are perfectionist- because they have to be but Danny can't see that. Even rougher if the bats don't even realize they're doing it. Yeah they're better at sneaking, duh. They're highly skilled, because they've trained on it to be that way. Even if they don't hold the standard on Danny's head- it kills him to know he with all his powers is struggling to be as good as them. Can see only ones really about to notice are like Duke and Steph, or like Kon and other YJ members. Those that know how it feels to be next to them. Kon or Steph having to basically spell it out for Tim- which Tim like what? Then realizes and feels dumb because its so obvious. (plus having felt that way before just feels like a double whammy) (Can see all the bat members having felt that pressure too so its like an OOF how did I not notice moment) Or Step and Duke spelling it out for the rest of the family.. like DUH =w= Babs probably figures it out too. Imagine a cute heart to heart with Duke and Steph, and Alfred. Those picking up on the reason WHY Danny's acting strange. Danny pushing himself harder- feeling guilty about making it a competition but also not wanting to fail- ends up breaking down a little. Because he feels not enough. Even if he had reconciled with his parents and everything- still lingers that he was failing school.. struggling as a hero, struggling with relationships. Now he with other heroes and the doubts are so heavy. But he has no choice to pull through. So he does as he always does and keeps going even if he's crashing. Danny just not realizing his worth, despite everyone seeing it. Idk just seem like a perfect bonding moment for after Danny enters the dc world, for the bats to be like OH fucking right. Because they just accepted him as their own- Like setup for each bat to have their own one on one with DAnny. Each relating in different ways. Learning each has their own motivation and they all worry about not being enough- but how they cope. Danny rethinking reasons why he saves ppl- and in the end its just because he CANT let things happen when he has the power to stop it.. And even if he's not enough- he's there. And that can make such a difference. ......IDK if any of this made sense btw- couldn't focus properly at work because many scenarios of this was popping in my head. Still can't focus enough to keep a consistent thought- BUT I wanted to get this out <3 Because the scenarios in my head are so cute.

[weirdsht]

More Than Deserving - Kim Rok Soo/Reader pt. 2

notes: ik both the fics are short but i really feel like i can't put them in the same fic, like they have to be separated

tags: female reader, angst, blood, Cale might be ooc, NOVEL SPOILERS (Kim Rok Soo's life back on earth)

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are open and welcome

Buy Me Dessert

Can I Really? (pt. 1) Navigation Masterlist

You are someone who has learned how to live and thrive in a ruined world. You are someone who has survived the cataclysm when everyone around you did not. Someone who hardened at a young age just so she wouldn’t be pushed by power-tripping people.

Sometimes you hate the person you have become. Sometimes you think that you have become a coward who hides her fear in the cold wall she constantly hardens.

However, Kim Rok Soo told you otherwise.

“It’s admirable that you can stand up for yourself. Just ignore anyone who says otherwise, they are just mad that they can’t push you around.”

No matter how nonchalant his voice was, you could tell he meant every word you said. That gave you comfort. Gave you the strength you need to not conform to how other people want to.

You would like to say that it was just his words that motivated you. However, you may be a coward but you aren’t a liar.

So you can’t deny the fact that it was the person, not the words.

That it was because it was Kim Rok Soo who told you those words.

You know yourself. Know that you have been harbouring feelings for the strategist for a long time. Can’t deny the way you would try to seek him out, try to befriend him.

Because you also know that it’s where you draw the line.

It wasn’t for any grand or selfish reasons. It was merely out of respect. Out of loving him so much you don’t want your feelings to burden him. To weigh him down.

So you settled for being friends with him. He was a good friend, really. He may try to act all annoyed and irritable but he will always be there whenever you need him.

Will always be there to watch old crappy movies with you.

Buy or cook the foods you have been craving.

Be a shoulder to cry on whenever you’re feeling sad.

Always cares for you every chance he gets.

Oh my god was he just so perfect.

And it does nothing to help your feelings. Those pesky feelings that you wish would just disappear. Sometimes you would wish for the grounds to swallow you whole because your heart is beating so loud that you swear he could hear it.

But still, you did not respond to your feelings.

What can you say? You guess you love him that much. You love Kim Rok Soo so much that you can’t even think of being selfish and confessing.

Your life continued like that for a long time.

And then a little birdie with a yong let it slip that Kim Rok Soo might just reciprocate your feelings. You then responded to that birdie that you’ll try to confess after the mission you guys are going to.

Unfortunately, you never got the chance to.

The monster was unranked and way stronger than all of you had anticipated. You had no other choice other than to fight in the vanguard along with team leader Lee Soo Hyuk and ability user Choi Jung Soo. 

However, despite your efforts the monsters remain unbeatable. 

Before you know it the two other Soos are dead. You are covered in blood and dying too.

During your final minute, the thought of confessing crossed your mind.

Maybe it was because of the way your love was holding you so tightly in his arms.

Nonetheless, you thought against it. You cannot leave him with that kind of burden.

“I hope you find someone that can make you happy…”

‘Even if that someone cannot be me. I will be happy to see you happy.’

In the end, your love for him won over your greed of wanting to confess.

In the end, you couldn’t do it.

In the end, you just had to say your confession internally, never for Kim Rok Soo nor the world to hear.

‘I love you… I hope you can learn to love yourself too.’

[cosmicjoke]

Further Thoughts on the Concept of Morality within AoT:

People that condemn Levi for his violence, or say there's no justification for his violence, or that he's "morally wrong" for being violent really send me. It boggles the mind, honestly, how they don't see that the willingness to let people die to uphold some self-righteous and subjective moral standard could just as easily be defined as "morally wrong", and how they don't see why that's the reason Levi himself refuses to moralize any of it as either right or wrong. Why he only approaches each situation from the view of practical, objective reality. It's not a question of doing what's "morally" right or wrong, it's a question of doing what needs to be done in order to achieve a specific outcome.

Where questions of morality apply, then, aren't in the isolated action, but in what the reason behind said action is. Again, this is why Levi refuses to moralize the act of killing alone, why he refuses to tell Jean, one way or the other, whether it was right or wrong for him not to kill that MP. Because the action, or inaction itself, isn't what can or should be judged, but the reason behind it. Levi leaves it up to Jean to determine for himself the moral rightness or wrongness of his choice, because, again, it's not the choice or the action alone that matters, but what motivated that choice and action, both in Jean's intention and in his personal values and character.

So, for example, you would call Kenny morally wrong because he kills people to gain personal power, his actions rooted in and driven by a personal lack of empathy or compassion toward anyone but himself, while you would call Levi morally right because he kills people to save lives, his actions rooted in and driven by a personal abundance of empathy and compassion toward everyone. They both kill, but it's the intention and personal values and character behind their killing action which determines their individual morality. So while one might say, objectively, that the act of killing is "bad" because it results in something objectively negative, i.e. the loss of life, that doesn't make the act in and of itself morally wrong.

The application of morality can only occur with the intention of the act, not the act alone. A person's morality can't be judged based on their actions in isolation, but only with the application of the context surrounding said actions and what their end goal is in taking said actions.

Say you have a situation where there's a mass shooter, and they're just killing innocent people left and right, and then there's a cop who has an opportunity to stop it, but in order to do so, he has to take the life of the shooter. According to the logic of the people that claim all violence is wrong and unjustifiable, the cop would be "morally wrong" for killing the shooter. So what, then? Would they say the cop was "morally right" for letting the shooter continue to murder innocent people, because he's maintaining his own moral "high ground"? That's patently absurd and to claim such a thing shows not only a breathtaking amount of sheltered privilege, but also a simple denial of the reality of the world and of the very foundations of nature itself.

It's why Armin refuses to sit out the fight at the docks, for example. Because he knows it's entirely selfish and morally corrupt to refuse to get your hands dirty to maintain your own, individual sense of "moral purity" if the cost of doing so is other people's lives.

That's the whole conundrum for the alliance in the final battle. They know they have to kill in order to do the right thing. They know if they don't kill the Yeagerists and if they don't kill Eren, millions of people are going to die. So what then becomes the "morally wrong" and the "morally right" choice between the two? To kill some people and save the lives of millions, or to stand idly by and let millions of innocent people perish? There's only two options here, and if we're meant to believe that both lead to moral corruption, then it means there is no right choice at all, no path toward moral rightness or goodness, no way to differentiate between right and wrong, and thus, no such thing as morality itself. You're damned if you do, damned if you don't.

That sort of idea is born from the concept of original sin. You're born a sinner and nothing you do can change that, no choice you make matters. You'll just always be a bad person, no matter what, and so then what's the point in trying to be good at all? It becomes impossible to measure or determine anything, and in that event, everything loses meaning and becomes utterly pointless.

And that's the real issue with absolutist philosophies like "all violence is wrong" or "all violence is unjustified", or "killing is never justified". It unravels morality as a concept entirely, and then all you're left with is chaos and indifference, such as the universe exists outside of the laws and rules we choose to govern ourselves by. In other words, it's fucking stupid to say killing in self-defense or defense of others is "morally wrong", when I could just as easily say choosing to do nothing and letting people die, all to uphold some uncompromising, abstract, nebulous and impractical moral code which ultimately helps no one outside of being able to tell yourself you're "morally pure", is what's truly "morally wrong".

It's almost like "Attack on Titan" presents morality as a complex concept not rooted in static declarations or absolute statements of fact. It's almost like morality is a concept to which a standard can only be applied while acknowledging and recognizing context and mitigating circumstance. Almost like the morality of a person's actions, and thus, the morality of the person themselves, can't be judged by the action alone, but by the reason and intent behind it.

[aribluart]

When I was a kid, my favorite characters in Naruto were Gaara, Sasori, and Naruto. Now, after having read, finally, all the manga at 28, that drastically changed. Now, without a doubt, my favorite characters are Obito and Kakashi, and the main reason is: they are human. I'm not saying that the other characters of the story are not human, but they all have that indistinguishable "fantasy" layers on them. But Obito and Kakashi? Their story, their motives, their emotions, their responses at the events of the main story, are so intrinsically human. Probably what I'm writing make no sense, but Ill' try my best to explain, even if I have difficulty to write this in english. This is my opinion, and naturally everyone has their take based on their own culture and their life. When I say they are " intrinsically human", I mean that if someone else was in their place, they would have made their same choices and actions. Because, their response to destabilizing and traumatic events (the third ninja war as child soldiers, Kannabi bridge, Rin's decision, and so on) it's different, but also understandable. Who could have act differently? No one can say with confidence and no hesitation how they would act in certain situations. I'm no therapist, but people have different reactions to traumatic events. We are not the same. So, seeing how Obito and Kakashi had so conflicting reactions to the same events, conflicting with their own childhood self even though you could see even then there was something, something that you could see and say "yes, this is only the tip of the iceberg," because we are not the same as our child selves, but our child selves had something that made who we are today, and the "we" of today have something that it's a reminder of our child selves. I, have so much more to add, but don't have the words in english to say it. I don't even know if what I wrote make any sense, it was something that I wanted to say because this two make me cry, and I hardly cry for fiction. But this two made my cry like I haven't cried for years, just because their story is so viscerally human and close to what I feel in general, that I don't even know anymore.

[michanvalentine]

So, I played Baldur's Gate 3, and I played it later than many others. All thanks (or perhaps it would be better to say fault?) of a friend who told me "you absolutely have to play it"! And so I did, completely losing myself in the world of Faerûn. It was really difficult to reconcile my duties as a wife and mother with the desire to play and discover everything about the plot and the characters. In fact, it took me forever to finish! Also because I am the classic player who has to go and sift through every single jar, corner or place forgotten by the gods to make sure I don't leave anything out. I'll start by saying that I played it completely blind and that it was a heroic playthrough. So here I am with my thoughts after finishing my first run.

Morween: Hi! I am a Seldarine drow. I am a cleric of Selûne. I'm a heroine! I spit in my father Bhaal's face and I'm proud of it! Oops! I accidentally killed an innocent bard...

I don't want to talk about the game and how well made it is in its entirety. We all know this, I think. I only need to talk about my very personal relational experience with the character who won me over despite my resistance.

In a roundabout way, while I was trying to conquer the beautiful Shadowheart, I found myself in a relationship with Astarion. I had fun with him at the tiefling party more out of curiosity than anything else, plus I didn't even think he liked me and that it was just fun for him too. Up until that moment we had done nothing but argue and clash over our respective visions of the world. And the “disapprove” message was constantly over my head (along with that of Lae'zel)! Nonetheless, having him around was a delight for this reason too (in addition to the fact that I found his jokes funny). The contrast and our discussions made the interactions seem particularly real to me...

I wanted to talk with him. First of all because I found our hypothetical conversations about getting killed or which of our companions to drink extremely funny. But I wanted to understand. And I wanted him to understand too. And every time I saw "the glimmer" I felt even more motivated to bring out everything he had inside. A lot of stuff, I later discovered...

Obviously at the beginning, as a player, I was trying to understand how the game worked and my female Durge was trying to understand who the people around her were and where their misadventure would lead her. So I only understood many things later!

Morween: Wait, ehm… Whaaat?!?! Am I the weird one or... no, never mind.

In any case, when Astarion thanked me for not giving him up to the blood merchant, I wanted to make this clear to him, so I selected the "I care about you" dialogue option. But I honestly didn't realize that this would mark the beginning of my relationship with him. Afterwards I didn't feel like reloading. Even if I had to abandon the beautiful Shadoweart (with whom I had only shared a bottle of wine and a passionate kiss until then). I thought that things had happened that way for a reason and my game, my choices, had naturally led me that way. Honestly, I had to stop with Gale too, because even my favorite wizard didn't disdain the company of Bhaal's offspring too much. And it broke my heart, because every single one of them deserves to be loved, dammit!

Morween: We got problems, you and I. Big. Deadly. Serious problems. But we're also so dangerously cute together!

What followed was an intense journey full of very strong emotions, as I think it was for everyone who played Baldur's Gate 3. I became attached to my traveling companions as if they were friends in the flesh. And of course I ended up falling madly in love with my pixelated vampire boyfriend.

He's truly a well-rounded character. The thing that literally drives me crazy is that he's a fucking vampire, a real one. A vampire who acts like a vampire and has all the instincts of a vampire. He likes killing, the smell of blood intoxicates him, he has a hunger that devours him from the inside, and he can very well lose control. Finally! An accurate and truthful depiction of what it means to be a vampire. And not just a spicy detail to add to a story for horny teenagers. So the character of Astarion earned admiration points from me. Why? Because despite everything he is able to travel with different "blood bags" without necessarily attacking them and sucking them to the core. It takes great willpower to keep such appetites at bay. And yes, I know, there's that first night when the pale elf tries to attack you while you are sleeping... but hey, surprise of surprises, everyone makes mistakes. Few are those who learn from mistakes. And Astarion is more than willing to learn, another of his qualities, and he is willing to do so throughout the entire journey!

Morween: Yeah, sure, I could judge him... If I hadn't also tried to kill him while he slept...

Side note, when the urge calls and Astarion finds himself in the same situation, he is ready to forgive Durge's mistake in the blink of an eye. Because he knows, dammit. What's more, he is willing to stay there, next to them, to help them control themself. And there I thought: fuck, I want to be there for him too.

Of course Astarion has his own personality, his own flaws; and I love him for it. He's a chronic liar, yes, and he's quite selfish with a nice propensity for lust for power. All perfectly explainable and understandable, considering his past. I was shocked at the amount of abuse he had to endure. I didn't expect it, not so deep, not so real and so detailed, especially for the psychological aspects and the reaction to trauma, considering we're talking about a character from a video game. And my heart broke. 200 fucking years under Cazador. It's no wonder he's a broken man, but not finished. And it's wonderful to see his survival instinct gradually transform into a real desire to live. He is a dangerous man (elf?) but the moment you realize that he can change, he can be rehabilitated, he can heal and be better (up to a certain point, he is still a vampire, a predator with the instinct of kill and with a passion for blood), you know it was worth it. No matter if as a friend or a lover, you are the hero he has been waiting for 200 years. And, for heaven's sake, when he trusts you completely he is capable of unprecedented sweetness and sensitivity. Of course he's still the scoundrel with the sharp tongue and easy sarcasm, but after all that's why he's adorable!

Morween: I confess, Mother Superior, saving the innocent is right, but it is too obvious and easy. Redeeming the bad guys is sooooo much better, that's a real challenge! What heroine would I be otherwise? How do you say... you are not interested? Yes, right... let's talk about Shadowheart.

So when at the end of his quest he thanked me for saving him from himself (even though I only gave him a nudge), with that honest smile on his lips, my satisfaction was immense. He knows, he appreciates, he has grown. He knows exactly what loving him means and is grateful for it. It took patience and a lot of trust, even when it was an objectively stupid thing to do. It took the ability and the will to go further, to see something in him, that he could be better, and to believe in him. Believing that he was enough just the way he is. This is loving someone and making them feel loved. And it was a beautiful conclusion to his story arc.

It also took a lot of delicacy, I would add. I played the entire game and experienced my relationship with the character of Astarion with the concrete feeling that losing him would have been very easy. After all, running away, hiding, even attacking, are perfectly natural responses to fear. And as we know he is legitimately terrified of everyone.

About this: when I met Sebastian it was another shock for me. I wasn't prepared. The whole sequence is heartbreaking, but what blew my brain was the response I got from Astariom when I asked him if Sebastian had hurt him.

God. In my mind the picture suddenly became untenable. No god answered his prayers, no hero deigned to save him and the only worthy salvation for him would still have been a stake in the heart because he was considered a monster. Cazador forced him into prostitution and when he was lucky enough he only had to live with the horrible knowledge that he had delivered another innocent victim into the hands of his master. Otherwise even his own targets would do violence to him, as most were not good people. And maybe in case of a failed delivery, Cazador would also punish him later. It is no surprise that he has learned to completely dissociate himself from everything, to become numb to the events and people around him.

For him everything and everyone was suffering.

And another thing that I really appreciated was the possibility that the game gives you to allow Astarion to rediscover himself and his relationship with others, to experiment with his own limits within a finally safe space (the camp, the companions, Tav/Durge).

In any case, for me it was a truly satisfying experience. I regret nothing, not even releasing 7,000 vampiric spawn into the underdark. Perhaps this is also why I was surprised when by browsing through various social media I come across so many cruel comments and harsh opinions regarding the character of Astarion. Everyone has their own sensibilities and tastes, obviously. But damn... how much repressed anger and aggression...

Anyway, I could go on for hours writing, but a treatise on the phenomenology of the Astarion was not my project! I just wanted to vent my fangirl soul a little and share my experience with you.

I'm currently starting my second run as Astarion. My plan is to conquer the beautiful Shadowheart without a certain someone getting in the way. Maybe, if my daughter and husband don't abandon me on the highway first, I might even consider a third adventure to sink into Gale's arms (and library)! I still feel sooooo guilty for dumping him, he seemed really hurt.

But for now... and they all lived happily ever after...

[faresong]

eve of the sun.

(spoiler) musings on my design choices below <3

✦ CLAIRE ELFORD —

Oh, my girl... I love her so much. I changed up her design slightly to draw in a gold tone due to my adjustment of her neck accessory: instead, it is part of a earring she was gifted by her grandmother that then broke. Though she doesn't remember why she had it, nor why it was only one of a set, she still holds a lot of sentimental value to it and couldn't bear to throw it out or sell its pieces, instead transforming it into a necklace.

I also gave her boots which, despite their look, are customized to better track up the mountain. These are her personal hiking boots! Additionally, since she lives up there, she has gotten into a few scuffles. While she's learned to hold herself well, there have been times she gets a bit overzealous—and the scar on her face is one of those cases. A nasty rock she was trying to remove had split her lip open and completely dragged down her shoulder before she could hit the floor and regain her standing. Nothing too dramatic, she'd say, but it reminds her to be careful... sometimes :P

Of course, because she's canonically the strongest of the group, I gave her more obvious muscles and fat to pad it out. As I've stated before with her living situation, eating is important to help her keep her strength up—and is also just something she enjoys! There are so many lovely recipes to try out, and before they died, she had loved bringing down ingredients of something new for her adoptive parents to try. They were all fresh, too, from her garden.

Here, despite the timeline regarding typical real-life immigration, I've portrayed her as mixed Indian/Portuguese. Her mother and grandmother were simply Indian immigrants, with Claire as the fourth-generation (Lady Dorothy had taught her Hindi, but with years without practice... she's lost much of it). Unfortunately for them, this was an additional motivator in the main town to persecute them sooner rather than later despite their people settling on the outskirts of Levine's ruling.

✦ SIRIUS GIBSON —

Onto Mr. "Bah!" now... As I've already mentioned, his moon earring is part of a set with Claire as a gift from Lady Dorothy. It was a gift in her hopes of bringing the two closer together.

Now, whether or not that worked out fully, Sirius feels he owes nearly everything to Lady Dorothy. Not only to provide him housing after his parents' demise, but tend to his leg injury wrought from when he'd been nearly crushed in the crowd. Everyone had pushed forward to see the alleged witches' deaths and hadn't cared when he'd fallen—Dorothy was there just in time to act as a barrier of sorts before they'd broken his ankle... but she still ended up crafting a small cane for his use.

As he grew up, however... the cane became more difficult to use. He was taller, and thus he began using Lady Dorothy'd old cane for himself. Whereas she had only needed it for balance, Sirius uses it to offset the pain/pressure on his left leg. Neither cane is pictured here, but it is still a crucial part of how his past pains continue to affect his present life—in a very literal way, albeit.

Due to how cold he tends to run within the mansion, he wears many layers. I've simplified his outfit to simply be: dress shirt, vest, pelerine. The last one is cut from the same cloth as Lady Dorothy's cloak (hence the slight star motif shared in both of their cloaks) and was initially a proper 'cloak' tailored for his younger self, though he still cannot let go of it.

I've added more prominent red to his design to tie in the ruby crest, as well as represent his resentment toward most others. In a literal sense, 'seeing red'—the reasons behind him becoming a demon clear. Unlike Claire who stands for nobility, Sirius cannot allow himself or Lady Dorothy that disgrace of leniency.

One last note: Sirius is portrayed as mixed Bengali/Portuguese. His great-grandparents had been one of the first Portuguese immigrants, with his grandfather brought over as a contracted engineer to figure out the water supply line for this area. He had never been given the chance to learn Bangla, as his mother didn't speak it... but Lady Dorothy had taken time to teach both Sirius and Claire Hindi, and he still reads some of the few books the Elfords had brought over. It's made him feel closer to the family, and he takes great care in trying to refine his language... even if it's difficult without another to practice with. (...I like to imagine, post-Sirius Conclusion, he teaches Claire again. It's only right.)

[brucewaynehater101]

i've been chewing over the tcf!tim au a lot these past few days and this is what my brain came up with: 1. jack and janet aren't really present in tim's life- not out of choice, but out of necessity: see tim had been affected with a curse (similar to that on the tcf protagonist) that made it so that he would eventually lose anything precious to him

2. after they find out, jack and janet decide to physically distance themselves from him (though they can't bring themselves to do so emotionally) while at the same time going on archaelogical trips in hopes to find a way to solve the curse. this way they would hopefully live long enough for tim to be old enough to take care of himself before the curse took them away from him

3. in the meantime, they plopped him in gotham to hopefully slow down / weaken the curse (due to how cursed the city already is, it probably acts like fighting fire with fire or poison with poison, also you can't convince me that as rich as they were they wouldn't have chosen to settle down in any other city if they had other options) and hire a revolving door of nannies (the good ones tim gets attached to often experience unfortunate circumstances that made them have to leave their post, while the bad ones get found out and fired by his parents)

4. tim still gets attached to dick at the circus (and then dick's parents died, and tim lost dick's smile that he liked)

5. tim gets attached to batman and robin -> dick and bruce fight and the og dynamic duo fall apart

6. tim gets attached to jason -> jason gets murdered

7. tim pulls batman out of his spiral and ironically, bruce's prickliness delayed tim getting attached to him, which meant he got to stick around (until he got better, then he ended up being yeeted through time)

8. that whole lead-up to brucequest where he lost a whole bunch of loved ones in quick succession? yeah, the curses of gotham are struggling against his (quantity vs quality)

i just think this idea is neat. and tim's guilt would be growing out of control once he finds out about the curse (why didn't anyone else notice before? because everyone assumed gotham folks are just cursed in general)

it also means he gets a fun (angsty) new motivation to avoid his family post-regression: he doesn't know if the curse is still active and would target them, so he plays the asshole to ward them off so that nothing worse would happen

Well, fuck.

I do love the Good!Parents Jack and Janet in this. It's a bit hard to make Jack or Janet decent parents to Tim while also affording him the independency his character typically has.

The curse is a cool addition to the tcf!Tim au that adds more reason to Tim being an asshole. Him not knowing if he's cursed or not is a great angst plot point, especially because it would be very easy for him to find out. He knows countless magic people that could tell him. Constantine would do it quietly for a quick buck. If Tim continues to not know despite his ability to, that's because he simply didn't want to find out. Dealer's choice on whether that's because he was scared or he wanted an excuse to self-destruct (i.e. cut himself off from his support groups).

The real shitty part about curses that seem like bad luck (or that cause bad luck) is that you can't be sure what is the curse and what is life being shit. Tim will probably blame himself for every horrid thing that has happened to someone after he entered their life.