#everyone has family who drowned trying to make a living or getting too brave with their fun

[transselkie]

13 and 66 for the Spotify game pLEASE!!

#66 - I Warned You: Do Not Make An Enemy Of Me by Los Campesinos!

Broke down laughing and screaming for more

But if this changed your life, did you have one before?

#13 - Pine Point by PUP

Beautifully kismet, as you introduced me to this band through this meme last year with this very song. Can’t believe I’ve only had them in my life a year.

Oh, in Pine Point, nothing but memories

The abandoned cemetery

Where we buried our family

I know its not the point of the meme but I feel so compelled to share my experience with this song because honestly and truly, this song (and The Coast) are my two favourite songs of all time. I was shocked this one fell so far outside of my top five. I can only imagine it’s because sometimes I feel too emotional about it to listen. And so, story time:

My nan grew up on an island that was forcefully resettled to the mainland. Official records say it was abandoned in 1955. Official records are wrong. Government cut all services in 1955, but a few families held steadfast awhile longer, refusing to abandon their home just because the government said they must. Her family were the last to leave, remaining until 57. After a winter of struggling to get to and from the mainland to collect supplies or reach medical aid her parents were convinced to give in, for the sake of the children (they’d already lost two of them young).

A couple of times when I was young my family took a trip to the island to visit the graves of her family, friends, and siblings who’d been buried there. She’d point out where the houses used to be and we’d play in the old schoolhouse and church that still stand there. No one in the family ever got over being forced to leave. They mourn it like the family they left in its earth.

The older she got the trip became impossible for her to make. I wouldn’t know where to find it to go on my own, or even what direction to point the boat in, but I used to dream of running away to live there, taking care of the place she loved so much. Her father died young, I never met him, everyone tells me I’m just like him. Someone told me once that if ghosts exist his is there. In my fantasies his spirit keeps me company as I tend to the land he saw as part of him.

It is an indescribable form of nostalgia I feel, spending my whole life longing for this place that died long before I was born. But somehow this song captures all that pain and longing my family speak of this place with, and have passed down to me through the generations.

(Send me a number and I'll give you that song & my favorite lyric off my Spotify wrapped 😊)

[cherri-cherri]

× Little Flower ×

-----------×-----------

Pairings - Ryoumen Sukuna x Reader

Synopsis - No one was allowed to touch you as you were his. Those who dared would suffer a fate worse than death...

Warnings - Possible Grammar Errors, Slight Gore, Swear Words

A/N - This fic here is pretty short but I wanted to write this after having a weird dream with flowers and Sukuna. I honestly have mixed feelings about this one but I hope you all enjoy! - 🍒

----------------×----------------

"Speak, girl. Do you know why you stand here on trial here today?" A voice called out to you from above but you simply kept your head hanging down to stare at the stacks of dry wood pressed under your feet. Your body ached due to the countless bruises and cuts littering your skin and the tightness of the ropes cutting into your bound wrists weren't helping at all in the slightest.

"Y/N L/N, do you understand why you stand before us?" The voice repeated again, this time a rough hand grabbing ahold of your hair and gripping it tightly, forcing you to stare up at the man before you.

"Cat has your tongue? Well then, let me remind you that you were caught giving aid to the king of curses. No doubt spreading your legs for him like that harlot you are" his words only mirrored the disgusted look in his cold grey eyes, glaring down at you as his grip on your hair only tightened. Sad to think that you would be used to this knowing your uncle was not a kind or gentle man and yet his words only stung.

"...I did no such thing....He was hurt and I was trying to help, I was–" Letting out a yelp as your cheek burned from the slap your uncle gave you, you felt tears prickling your eyes as he leaned in closer.

"Liar!! Someone saw you with him, saw you hold him! It is obvious that your vile ways allowed him to take over your mind and possess you!" Yelling at the top of his lungs, you heard others around you cheering the man on as some even chimed in. So many hateful words, so many people who you believed to friends and family only for all of them to look at you with such disdain and anger. Tears began to form until your uncle released you and stepped away, "There is only one way to save your soul now before he swallows it whole. The flames will send you to the afterlife and maybe then, you will be saved."

Your heart dropped after hearing that. You were going to die, all because of giving a monster sanctuary, all because you tried to be kind. Men carrying large clay pots came to the stake you were bound to and then began splashing you with oil. Coughing as the liquid was poured ontop of your head, you heard the chanting of the people all around you, screaming and yelling for your death over and over again as your uncle came walking back towards you while holding up a lit torch.

This was the end. Your miserable life ending at such a horrible note, it made you let out a small saddened chuckle as you slowly closed your eyes and waited for the fire to engulf your completely until nothing but ash reminded.

You waited..

And waited..

The ropes wrapped around your wrists were soon sliced off and at the same time, you hear a few thuds collapsing onto gravel not too far away from you. When you opened your eyes, you found yourself staring at your uncle. Your now headless uncle. The blood erupting from his neck like a geyser as the body slumped down to its knees, occasionally twitching as the blood sprayed across your face and ragged dress. The color drained from your face completely as you stared down at the blood on your clothes, horrified until a large tattooed around wrapped itself around your waist. Freezing completely, you looked back forward to see the villagers beginning to flee until those who even took a step back were diced into cubed pieces.

"Any human who moves another muscle will die." A rough voice called out behind you, sending your heart to panic. Turning your head slightly to the side, you saw him.

Ryoumen Sukuna.

His eyes darted down towards you, crimson hues staring into your watery E/C eyes and he simply gave you a toothy grin. "Come on now, Y/N, you shouldn't give such a frightened look to your knight in shining armor. I just saved your life."

"Y-you killed them.. " you muttered, causing Sukuna to roll his eyes as he lifted you in the air before placing you down onto his shoulder to carry you. "And? I don't see what's wrong here. You're alive, they're dead. Now that we've been over that, I think you owe me a reward—"

"I knew it..." a woman said from the crowd, her knuckles turning white from how hard she was gripping her fists. She stared at the two of you with fear in her eyes, more so you than Sukuna. "Y-you were sleeping with him..you dirty whore...letting a monster in this village. Letting a curse spread in this village!" As she screamed out, blood soon enough trickled down her lips as she felt a pain in her chest before a growing numbness. Looking down, the woman saw nothing but a gaping hole in the middle of her chest, blood dribbling down the emptiness to the stomach until she slowly collapsed on her back. Others around her screamed out, some moving from the places they were standing before being sliced in half or trisected into parts. You gasped out, covering your mouth as you felt bile rising up.

"S-she did nothing wrong!" You yelled to Sukuna as he only stared at the remaining people in the crowd with a smirk. "Wrong...As far as I see, everyone here has committed a great sin."

Crimson stained the once grey pathway as people are killed by the curse one after another. A few brave (or foolish) souls attempted to even rush at Sukuna only to make it as far as five steps forward before their insides became their outsides. A woman tried to beg for her life by offering herself as Sukuna's personal slave, even going as far as to give away to lives of her children but once again it proved nothing as she too was killed.

It didn't take long for Sukuna to kill off the rest of the villagers, regardless of their age or even if they were innocent or not. They were all killed and slaughtered brutally without mercy, their blood mixing together as the smell of their corpses began to reek. You stared down at the headless corpse of your uncle, eyes dulled as you thought perhaps it would've been better if the fire had claimed you. Then no one wouldve been killed. No, no that wasn't true.

It would've been better if you never met him. If you simply continued on your way and left him bleeding out for the shamans to find. If you had never opened your heart to the curse..then no one would've died. Then no one would've been killed. Feeling a hand brush your hair gently with his nails and combing a strain behind your ear, you were snapped out of your thoughts. Sukuna pulled you closer towards him with one arm and wrapped each of his arms around your small frame before pressing his lips onto your forehead.

"They didn't have to die..." your voice was practically a whisper at this point, hoarse and dry from the screaming and begging for him to stop. Sukuna merely chuckled as he released you, "Do you feel guilty?"

"What sort of question is that supposed to be? Of course I do...." Saying that you didn't would only be half of the truth. Sure you were angry with how they were so quick to hurt you and kill you but then again, if you knew this was what Sukuna was capable, you would've accepted the punishment. You should've listened, should've stayed away from him that night yet apart of you knew that this perhaps wouldn't have changed much.

"I don't see why when because of you, your people get to live on..."

Those words got your attention as they left you confused. Before you could even question him however, you heard a small weak voice speaking out towards it. "You've doomed us all, girl..."

You could've swore that it was your uncle speaking to you and yet you knew that was impossible seeing as his vocal cords were severed alongside his head. But when your eyes slowly looked over to the severed head, you saw a large flower growing where the blood pooled over. It might have been beautiful if it wasnt for the fact that your uncle's face was on the flower, darkened eyes staring at you. Gasping out, you covered you mouth and took a step back, pressing your back into the warm chest of Sukuna as he pointed over towards the other bodies littered around the execution ground.

A variety of flowers had sprouted forth from the blood soaked ground, each with the faces of the dead villagers as they yelled and screamed out in agony at you. So many cried out your name, children who were unfortunately brought here wailed as their mothers simply screamed out multiple swears at you. Speechless, you froze at the sight as more flowers simply began to grow up around the two of you and were only spreading. Small vines began to creep towards you, only to be sliced away when it got too far, not to you but to Sukuna.

"Regret, anger, hatred, sadness. So much negative energy, so much rage here. I wanted to repay my little flower and what else to gift her with than a garden of her own." He hunching over and reaching for one the screaming flowers, he plucked it forth from the ground as the face on it contorted in pain before it began to beg for mercy. "Flowers for my flower. Though none of this compare to you." Sukuna chuckled, placing the plant onto the back of your ear before combing a strand of your hair.

You felt disgusted as the flower's voice grew more and more faint, it practically whispering in your ear for himself to be spared such a fate. You could do nothing but silently say how sorry you were yet your hushed apologies were drowned out by the voices of your new cursed garden.

[redrobin-detective]

because I could not stop for death

because I could not stop for death / he kindly stopped for me / the carriage held but just ourselves / and immortality ~ Emily Dickinson

Danny Fenton was dying, properly this time.

Somehow, in the back of his head and in his worst nightmares, he knew it would end this way: bleeding on the floor of his parents’ lab where it had all began. He was so hot he felt like his skin was on fire, blood and ectoplasm were dripping all over him and his lungs and heart were working overtime to try in vain to keep him alive a moment longer. He’d imagined at the time that there would be more screaming but death, in the end, was turning out to be a quiet little affair. A lonely table set for one.

“Danny, Danny come on, you-you gotta slow down your breathing, just relax, for me, please,” Sam moaned, more than making up for his lack of noise. She was shaking and touching him all over, his chest, his face, his hair. Normally she jumped right into action but she had to know, deep down, that there was nothing she could do. All that was left was to watch her panic and cry, it wasn’t his favorite image. 

“Vlad!” He heard Tucker scream cry into the phone, “please it’s Tucker, Danny’s dying I think. The Fentons had some new invention, something about his core, please we don’t know what to do!” 

Ugh Vlad, he was probably going to be so happy Danny was on his way out. He wasn’t looking much forward to his last images being his archenemy gloating. Tucker hung up and reached down to grasp Danny’s hand so hard it hurt. “Don’t worry dude, Vlad’s coming. He knows so much about you half ghosts that you’ll be fixed up on no time.” Right, Danny was already dead. If calling Vlad, feeling like he did something, helped Tucker move on then he’d deal with it.

Danny tilted his head to the side where Sam’s fingernails were carding through his hair. It was getting harder to see with the blood pouring out of his eyes but he looked at her, and tried to memorize her face. He’d never been able to tell her how much he loved her, that any day spent with her was a blessing. Tucker too, his best bro and a part of his soul. His best friends in the whole wide world, through thick and thin. God, he was going to miss them.

“Glurk,” he said, trying to convey those feeling but the fluids in his mouth and airway made it impossible. “Blerh.”

“Shh shh shh,” Sam soothed, “it’s okay, don’t try to talk.”

“Daniel!” He heard Vlad’s voice shriek as he materialized in front of the portal. Sam and Tucker were violently pushed out the way. Danny wanted to be angry at his loved ones being taken away in his final moments but anger was for the living, he barely had the energy to breathe. This death was too long and too short all at once. He made eye contact with Vlad who all at once lost the frantic edge to his tone and and instead knelt on the floor. “Oh my dear boy. What did they do to you?”

“What is going on?” Sam demanded, shoving her way back in. Danny was glad, he could see again like this. “Why aren’t you doing something!”

“There’s nothing to be done,” Vlad said in a flat, monotone, he picked up one of Danny’s hands and patted it gently. “His core is dying, it’s like a ghost’s heart. It contains their very essence, it is from which everything they are comes from. If Jack and Maddie somehow disrupted it then there’s nothing anyone can do to save him.”

“But he’s human too,” Tucker defended, grabbing Danny’s other hand. His human warm skin burned but the contact felt so good, he twitched his fingers closer to his friend’s. “He-he doesn’t need a core, he’s already got a heart. So, so he doesn’t have powers, we can do normal again.”

“You-” Vlad hissed before taking a calming breath. “The accident that made Daniel like this irreparably altered him. His core was as much a part of keeping him alive as his other organs, without it, his body is shutting down.” Vlad turned down to look Danny in the eye and saw true, genuine grief in those hateful red eyes. 

“I cannot imagine the agony you are going through, I’m so sorry. I’d say it will be over soon but,” a hitch that sounded almost like a sob if it was coming from anyone other than Vlad. “But you’ve hovered on the edge of death for years, son, and you’ve always been such a fighter. You have minutes at most but those minutes are an eternity when you’re suffering.”

Sam and Tucker’s sobbing blended together in the background, Vlad was saying something with a miserable, stunned expression. The swirling of the portal in the background seemed louder than anything, louder than his heart beat pounding and pounding as it ran it’s last race. 

“Daniel, Danny,” he focused his eyes back on Vlad who had a stubborn, unhappy set to his brow. “Do you want me to make the pain stop? An ectoblast to your chest will end your life instantly.”

“Don’t you dare touch him,” Sam shrieked, coming back into view and looking like she was trying to fight Vlad off. “You do anything to him and I’ll kill you!” Tucker just sat and stared at him, like he too was trying memorize Danny’s face.

“It’s a mercy, Samantha or do you want his last moments on earth to be drowning on the blood in his lungs.”

“Sam, he has a point. I don’t- I don’t think we can fix this.”

“No! No we always fix things, I’ll do it myself if I have to!”

Danny’s vision was starting to go, more black than anything else. He closed his eyes and readied himself for the inevitable. 

“Time Out,” Danny opened his eyes and found he was no longer in pain. He was standing up and apart from where he’d previously been lying. Sam had her hands in Vlad’s face and the older hybrid was snarling something at her. Tucker was midmotion trying to stand up, presumably to get Sam but the three of them were frozen in the moment. Danny turned and found Clockwork floating, looking very out of place in his parents lab. “Good evening, Danny.”

“You that short on cash that you work part time as a grim reaper?” Danny quipped out of habit. He looked down at his body and grimaced a bit, that wasn’t a pretty sight. No doubt traumatizing for Tucker and Sam. God how were they going to explain this to his parents? “Gonna ferry me across the River Styx? I don’t have two pennies but I think I have a bloodied $10 on me.”

“You’re core is dying and you have 17 seconds left in this world before all your organs give out and finish the process you began when you turned on your parent’s ghost portal,” Clockwork explained as he changed into child form. 

“O-okay,” Danny said shakily, trying to be brave even when he was so, so scared. He was going out whether he wanted it or not but he refused to leave crying. “Nice of you to come say goodbye then but, uh but unless you have something to say then you should let me go back. No one knows better than me that you can’t outrun death. Thanks but I’m uh I’m ready.”

Clockwork stared at him for a bit, not sure how long, time was weird like this but he changed forms a few times. “You’re quite the remarkable young man, Danny Fenton.”

“Uh thanks,” Danny added, once more looking at his body which had, according to Clockwork, a 17 second expiration date. “What’s going to happen? Am I going to become a ghost? Does heaven or hell exist for someone like me?”

“I don’t get to decide what happens, I merely see options,” Clockwork stated easily, taking his time. “If you die naturally you’ll become ghost, a mere shadow of who you are now and one who would fade fairly quickly. You don’t have strong enough anger or regrets to tie you in the real world for long.” Not great but okay he supposed, hell for his friends and family though. “You could let Plasmius deliver his mercy kill, destroying what’s left of your ghost core and ensuring you do not come back.” Better, probably won’t help the Fruitloop’s instability but he can’t save everyone.

“That one comes with it’s own caveat but I’ll get to that in a moment,” Clockwork explained. “There is a third option where you get up off the floor and walk away.” Danny blinked then looked back at his body which certainly wasn’t walking anywhere but into a plush casket. Clockwork opened his hands and the Ghost King’s Crown materialized in his hands. “If you accept your claim to the King’s Cown, it will revitalize your core and your life would be saved.”

Danny blinked.

“By sealing Pariah Dark, you won by proxy and established a legitimate claim to the throne. The Zone has been without a king for millennia, most have forgotten the old rules. Those who remembered were not too keen on a half-ghost child assuming leadership and kept you in the dark. If Plasmius ends your life then your claim transfers over to him, which he is aware of. It had been his plan all along to trick you into defeating Pariah so he could steal the Crown from you at a later date, a much easier opponent.”

Danny’s mind was overloaded with information, he didn’t know what to focus on first. He stared at his 17 seconds from death face and tried to process it all. Crown? Claim? Vlad?

“Of course,” Clockwork tutted, “he didn’t plan on your dying and in such a gruesome fashion. If he kills you and takes your claim, he would spend his remaining years ruling the Ghost Zone in a just, controlled fashion for your memory. He destroys all the stable portals and keeps the ghost and human worlds separate.” Clockwork became and old man and titled his head, “it’s not a bad timeline, all things considered.”

“And if I take it?” Danny asked quietly.

“You’re compassionate, brave and motivated, you have all the makings of a revolutionary king,” Clockwork smiled. “The Zone would experience and unprecedented era of peace, there would be positive interactions between human and ghosts for the first time since life and death split into two. Your name would spoken with reverence for the rest of time.”

“But I don’t want to be king,” Danny frowned.

“I know, I’m sorry,” Clockwork stated. “Which is why I am giving you the choice. If you pass peacefully there will be no one to claim the Crown and life will continue on, ghost attacks and all. If Plasmius kills you, he becomes an effective but unmemorable king. If you take the Crown, you can get the chance to tell Sam and Tucker how much you love them.”

Danny rubbed at his face, he didn’t want to die but he’d be sealing away his entire future with a move like this. He didn’t even know if the Crown would let him go with death, maybe he’d die and be stuck as the Ghost King until his core finally gave out lord in who knows how long. Eternity was an awful long time to carry such a responsibility. He couldn’t bring himself to ask, too afraid of the answer.

“Is there ever a timeline I became an astronaut?” He asked instead. Clockwork hummed, seemingly unsurprised by Danny’s non-sequitur. 

“Yes, in one of the few universes where you never walked into the portal. You never go into space what with human politics putting a halt on the programs but you work for NASA. You leave Amity Park at 17 and don’t come back save for your parents’ dual funeral.” He paused and Danny felt read down to his very bones, “from the moment you became half ghost you were always heading for this moment. The circumstances varied but it always came down to you and the Crown. Time is straining to continue, to see how this drama plays out. Will you accept it and all the joy and grief that comes with it?”

Danny looked over at Vlad, still mid-sneer but there was a scared desperation in his face. He and Vlad sniped at each other all the time but Danny didn’t really hate him and he didn’t think Vlad did either. Leaving him alone, plus making him be king was a heavy burden to put on his enemy. 

Sam and Tuck probably wouldn’t recover from this, he’d put them through so much already but he just knew that they’d never be the same. Could he do that to them? Take the easy way out and leave them to suffer? Mom and Dad didn’t deserve to come home to a dead son, the truth would come out and they’d never forgive themselves. Jazz certainly wouldn’t, she was 2 states over at University but he could already hear her angry, grief-stricken screams. 

Death, death was quiet. It was quiet and merciful and sad, but it was also easy. And Danny Fenton had never once taken the easy route. He reached out and took and the crown before shakily placing it on his head. He gasped, throwing his head back as his core swelled, taking up residence once more right next to his heart. Clockwork smiled, looking like the cat who ate the canary. 

“The Crown of Fire, pardon me the Crown changes with each core, the Crown of Ice is now yours as is the Zone. Your reign begins now but so too does the rest of your life. People are waiting for you. Time in.” Danny slammed back into awareness on the floor of his parents’ lab, the floor he’d almost died on twice. 

He sat up as cold radiated off his body, causing frost to crawl down his arms and along the floor. Sam, Tucker and Vlad, who’d been frozen up until now, jumped back to life. There was a new, familiar weight on his head that he didn’t dare acknowledge. 

He squeezed his eyes shut and said a silent goodbye to a quiet, normal life. It wouldn’t be all bad, he could be happy like this but the Crown still felt like a iron manacle around his neck. But he got used to the ghost powers, he could get used to this too. Maybe one day he won’t look at the stars and say ‘what if?’

“Danny!” Sam shouted, throwing herself into his arms soon followed by Tucker. Their warm weight, their relieved sobs, their shaky breaths in his air, now this was something worth living for. He squeezed them tightly.

“But how dude, you were at death’s door!” Tucker asked, still not letting go.

“You accepted the Crown,” Vlad said evenly, “I wasn’t aware you even knew about your claim. Who told you?”

“You don’t know everything, Vlad,” Danny sighed, sitting himself upright. Ugh his shirt was covered in blood and ectoplasm. He needed to trash these clothes before his parents freaked. And find a way to hide the floating ice crown on his head. 

“Even an old man can be surprised every now and again,” Vlad said wearily. He stood up to his full height before startling Danny by dipping down to one knee. “Then allow me to be the first to welcome my new king and wish him well.”

“I thought you wanted this,” Danny questioned.

“I do, I did,” Vlad said, unusually off balance. “To be quite honest, I’m not sure how to feel about it but, right now, I’m just immeasurably happy you’re alive, little badger. Now I best be off, enjoy your kingdom, my liege, I’ll be sure to come bother you some time soon.” Vlad disappeared in a swirl of pink leaving just him, Sam and Tucker still clinging to him.

Danny may have a kingdom, a job he didn’t want and his whole life decided in a spur of the moment choice, but he also had something very important. He squeezed his friends tightly.

“I love you guys, thank you for being my friends even though I have the worst ideas for activities. Dying? On a Sunday night? How lame is that?” Sam laughed, a bit hysterical but it was real and it made Danny feel weightless. 

“Don’t do that again, buddy,” Tucker breathed into his shoulder. “So you gonna explain what just happened and why you’re apparently the Ghost King or something?”

“Yeah, yeah I will but let’s get changed first. Mom and Dad will be home soon and I think I’m going to need to have a conversation with them about my new job.” 

[crumbledcastle28]

Chapter 7: A Promise

Warnings: So. Much. Pain. The reader hates herself a lot. Gunshot wound, crying, yelling, deep depression and suicidal thoughts. This one is really dark, so please don’t read if you don’t feel you can handle it.

Author’s Note: Thank you to anyone who has supported this so far. It means the world. I’m sorry in advance for this one.

(gif gotten from adventures-of-din-and-grogu)

The three of you sat in bone-chilling silence for what felt like hours. In reality, it wasn’t even a minute.

Everyone seemed hypnotized bu the blade. The blade that cut down innocent people, innocent villages, innocent planets, all by your hand.

The blade to you represents the Empire. How much it’s taken and the damage it has caused to everyone in the room. The glowing evil casts over the room like a shadow of red and blood and pain.

And Cara… is indescribable.

Her face shows no emotion yet all of them at the same time. Her eyes look like fire and her jaw is so tense you are surprised it hasn’t snapped. Her arms are flexing as her hands grip the ignited blade, and she’s avoiding your gaze on purpose. You can tell.

But yet she’s silent. Just frozen in place. And it’s killing you. You just want her to say something. Scream at you, fight you, kill you, whatever.

You almost forgot Mando was even sitting next to Cara, until his voice broke the tension in the room for a fraction of a second.

“Is that….” he said, and your tears finally started flowing down your face.

It was bad enough Cara knew what the color meant, but of course Mando knew too. That blade is a piece of nightmares.

Finally, Cara powered down the weapon and set it beside her. Her arms were still tight and her face was contorted as if she was in intense pain.

She was in pain. You betrayed the only people who didn’t betray you fist.

“Cara… please… just let me-“ you begin, but you are interrupted by a gun shot.

A shot that Cara fired right into your stomach.

You saw it coming. You felt it. But you couldn’t fight her back. You would just be proving her right.

Mando immediately jumped to his feet and pushed Cara against the wall, holding both of her hands above her head. You hear her gun hit the floor.

“Stop,” he yells right in her face, and she tries to get away from his grip, but they are equally matched.

She struggled for a couple of seconds against Mando’s grip before finally giving up.

“Stop,” he said more softly this time, but there was no stopping Cara.

“I’m going outside,” she said through gritted teeth, and Mando let her.

You, however, were on your knees, clutching your stomach.

You wanted to scream and cry and die. Your tears streamed down your face like never before and your throat was burning from holding back the sobs.

You didn’t even care about your stomach. You had been shot plenty of times, but your remorse and guilt weighed you down like an anchor and pulled you to the floor.

Your leaders killed Cara’s family, and you helped the Empire get big enough so that it didn’t even matter. Their lives were expendable to the Empire. Needed to prove a point and convey a message.

A part of you hoped Cara would kill you. It would give her more reason to start to heal.

You heard Cara storm out, and you waited for Mando to follow.

But he didn’t.

After he made sure Cara wasn’t coming back, he booked it to you with a healing kit in hand.

As soon as you felt his energy turn to you, his worry, his pain, and deep under all that, his disappointment, you lost it.

You yelp and cry. Like a child.

“Mando don’t. Please don’t,” you manage to speak through your sobs as he kneels down in front of you.

“No. Enough,” he says to you as he gets the heeling pack open and takes out a bacta shot. A healing shot that could heal even the deadliest wounds. Not to mention, they were incredibly rare.

You try to push his hands away even though you feel weaker than ever.

“Please…I don’t deserve it,” you sob out and Mando grabs both of your wrists.

“Enough,” he yells, and your eyes snap up to meet his visor.

“Please… I’m not gonna let you die,” he pleads. He could tell he scared you, so he used a softer tone.

You stare at him for a couple seconds, breathing hard and letting out chocked sobs. If he said that in any other circumstance, you would feel soft and warm. Touched even. But you were still surrounded by so much pain and heartbreak, that you just nodded your head and allowed him to give you the full shot.

He wrapped your stomach in sterile gauze to stop the bleeding. He explained that Cara’s shot was a little off target, and so it only grazed your hip, but you didn’t care. You gave him respectful nods to make it look like you were listening, but you were beyond defeated. It felt like you had been hit by the last wave you could take, and you just wanted to drown.

Why won’t Mando just let me drown?

“I’m…. so sorry,” you choke out. “I should have told you,” you say and the sobs start to return. Mando was the last person in the world who you ever wanted to lie to. He had given you everything. So much more than he has given to any other person, and all you had in return was betrayal and pain.

And yet he was still wrapping your wound.

“Shh..” he whispered to you, “We can discuss later.”

He finished wrapping you and finally looked at your face, and you couldn’t even meet his eyes. His pity was the one you couldn’t take.

“I’ll go and find her,” Mando says, referring to Cara, while giving your shoulder a light squeeze.

How could he even touch you right now. For all he knew you could be betraying him as he spoke. You could have been working with the Empire this whole time and leading them right into a trap.

“Please… just-” he chokes out.

“Just… don’t leave,” he says.

You swore you couldn’t fall any farther for that man, but he proved you wrong.

This selfless, brave, scarred man is asking you to stay. You. You helped tear apart the galaxy. His galaxy. And yet he’s asking you to stay.

It has to be because he’s scared I am going to come out and kill everyone, you convince yourself.

There is no other reason.

“I won’t leave,” you mumble. “I promise.”

Tag list:

@leahkenobi @pinkninja200 @bookloverfilmoholic @farfromjustordinary

[p-artsypants]

A Gift from Mr. Blanc

Marinette's worst nightmares were of Chat Blanc. But that's all they were: nightmares. Until one day where in the stone cold light of day, Chat Blanc walked into the classroom, with a gift in hand. "This will make you love me again, My Lady."

Ao3 | FF.net

Everyone is on this Chat Blanc train, so I bought a ticket and got a window seat. 

--

“Yes, Timestreamer, find me the best Akuma ever created!” Shadowmoth raised a manic fist as the images appeared before him. 

The woman who was once Nathalie Sancoeur stood next to him, now transformed into an Akuma with thick glasses, which almost looked like VR goggles. 

In a fit of artist’s block, Gabriel Agreste had vented that he had run out of ideas for Akuma. He had to keep going, and the villains couldn’t slack less Ladybug and Chat Noir get the upper hand. 

To which Nathalie had said, “well, you don’t need to reinvent the wheel.” 

She had meant it to be cheeky, but he took inspiration from it in a whole new way. Why invent a new villain when one from a different time is sure to work? Timetagger, an Akuma from the future, had seemed to almost win. Perhaps there were more like him out there. 

He only needed someone to see the timelines so he could pick his champion. 

So here they were, scanning through endless time streams, looking at massive successes, and massive failures. There really was no telling which one would do the job, but unless Timestreamer’s Akuma was taken or, heaven forbid, the Butterfly was taken, they could send villain after villain after villain. 

Yes, this was a good plan! 

“That one!” Shadowmoth pointed, the stark white catching his gaze. 

“That one?” Timestreamer asked, feeling unease looking into his soulless blue eyes. 

“That has to be Chat Noir’s akumatized form. He’s perfect.” 

Following orders, Timestreamer summoned the Akuma forward. 

From the static images appeared a grainy figure, slowly solidifying into a solid white boy. His expression was one of confusion and disorientation.

“Chat Blanc, I am Shadowmoth,” he began. 

Immediately, Chat Blanc snarled. “You! You monster!” And he leapt. 

Suffice to say, neither Timestreamer or Shadowmoth were prepared for a full on fight this early in the conversation. 

Shadowmoth did have training in fighting, and successfully blocked the incoming swipe at his throat with his arm. However, the claws cut right through his suit and into his flesh, making him cry out in pain. 

The next swipe hit true, and knocked the butterfly Miraculous from its place on his collar. 

Chat Blanc then plucked the Peacock from his lapel while Gabriel Agreste tried to put pressure on his grievous wounds. 

“Why?” Asked Gabriel, “don’t you know I made you? Don’t you know I can give you everything you want?” 

Chat Blanc didn’t respond, only snapped the goggles off of a shell shocked Timestreamer. He then touched the black butterfly with his claw, and it crumbled into dust. 

Nathalie ran to Gabriel and looked at his wounds. “You need to go to a hospital.” 

“No!” He protested, pushing her away. “Answer me, boy! You’re easily the most powerful Akuma ever made. Once you get the Miraculous of Ladybug and this timeline’s Chat Noir, we can make the ultimate wish! Whatever your heart’s desire, it’s yours!” He reached a hand out to the boy. 

Chat Blanc, who Gabriel knew as the exuberant and emotional Chat Noir, just looked at him with a sharp, emotionless stare. 

“You already took everything from me, Father. This is my one chance to get things back to where they are supposed to be.” 

“Adrien?” 

The gaze didn’t change, but he did raise an eyebrow. “In my timeline you knew. You knew, and you still hurt me. You hurt her. You turned me, and you forced me to kill. You left me alone in that world for months. Left me to mourn. Cursed me to this form—“ he snarled. “That can’t starve, that can’t sleep, that can’t thirst or drown—“ a tear fell down his cheek. “You left  me in a prison where I couldn’t die, and would continue to suffer because of your mistakes.” He gave a hint of a bitter smile. “Does that answer your question, old man?” 

Maybe it was just the blood loss, but Gabriel felt some remorse. “I’m sorry, son. Give me back the Butterfly, and I’ll set you free.” 

“Not a chance. Ladybug will fix me. And when I give her these, she’ll love me again. And I’ll have all the family I ever need.” With that, he summoned his baton to break through the window, and launched out into Paris. 

Gabriel laid still on the ground, holding his chest with one hand while Nathalie gripped his wrist with the other. 

“I…what am I going to do?” 

“Well, you know Adrien has the ring—“ 

“No doubt Chat Blanc will tell him everything before we can get to him. I don’t think that’s an option anymore.” 

“Then…what would you like to do?” 

He spent a long time just breathing and thinking. 

Choosing. 

“I guess, apologize. And then hope that I haven’t done enough damage to lose the only family I have left.” 

“Maybe, if he is Chat Noir, and you explain the truth to him…he’ll tell Ladybug. Maybe she’d help.” 

“I doubt she’d do anything to help me, after all I’ve done.” He leaned back and stared at the ceiling. “I could just bleed out here. Save him the pain.” 

“I won’t let you do that, Sir. As upset Adrien will be, he still loves you.” 

“But for how long?” 

“I think you should live and find out.” 

—

Chat Blanc had never been so happy. He should be upset, angry, sobbing even, but he wasn’t. 

He was getting his second chance. Paris was full, alive, teeming with traffic and swearing and smoking and everything foul that wasn’t there in his wastelands. 

Hawkmoth was gone, and he was on his way to Marinette. With these, she had to love him, she just had to.

Francois DuPont never looked so pretty. The windows showed bored expressions of dozens of students. 

Students that were alive and not submerged under water. 

He dropped down in the courtyard, letting muscle memory take him up the stairs to his old classroom. The door was closed, but not locked. 

Did he knock? Or did he just walk in? It had been so long…did he introduce himself? Did he apologize for interrupting? 

He decided to forgo knocking, and pushed the door open on his own. 

All eyes turned to look at him, but his attention was only on her. 

Though he did get a glimpse of his own horrified face. 

“Chat Noir?” The teacher asked. 

“No.” He shook his head. “Not anymore.” He never stopped looking right at Marinette.

“I must be dreaming,” the girl in question said aloud. “I must have fallen asleep, and now I’m having a nightmare.” Tears were filling her eyes as her voice crumbled. “Please tell me you’re a nightmare, Chat.” 

“No, My Lady. I’m real.” Did she know him from somewhere? Or was she just assuming he was an akumatized Chat Noir? “But this shouldn’t be a nightmare, Marinette.” His steps were slow and soft, trying not to spook her. “I’m your dream come true. Because it’s over now, and we can be together.” 

She stood abruptly, smacking her knees on the desk and almost tumbling. “What are you talking about?” 

He placed the Miraculous on the desk. “It’s over now. I won. Hawkmoth is no more, and there’s nothing that can hurt us. This will make you love me again!” 

“Holy shit…” Said Alya. 

Marinette just stared at them, and then at Chat. “How—?” 

“He brought me here. Somehow, an Akuma I guess. He plucked me out of my time, and brought me here. This is my chance to start again, you know.” He grabbed her wrist. “Now our love won’t ruin the world! We can be happy again, My Lady! We can be happy and nothing will tear us apart!” 

Adrien, who had up until very recently, by reveal of a certain nickname, thought that Marinette was only just Marinette, grabbed Chat Blanc and yanked him back, forcing him to let go of Marinette. 

“Don’t touch her!” He snapped. 

“And you—“ Chat Blanc grabbed him by the throat and lifted him into the air. “A little liar with too much self preservation! Why didn’t you act sooner?! Why couldn’t you save her?!” 

Adrien clawed at the hand on his throat. “I don’t—know what the hell—you’re talking about!” 

“Don’t play stupid, Adrien! It’s not going to work on me, and you know that!” 

His voice was just a whisper now, as he attempted to meet Chat Blanc’s gaze. “Whatever, man. But you think outing her is smart? You think that’ll make her like you?” 

Chat Blanc crushed harder, suffocating him. “It doesn’t matter with Hawkmoth out of the way! And once I kill you, there will be no competition! She’ll love me for sure!” 

Marinette had stashed the Miraculous in her purse once Chat Blanc had turned his back. She was going to attempt to talk him down, but at his threat on Adrien’s life, she realized he was beyond talking. 

“Tikki, Spots on!” 

Chat Blanc whirled back around, only to get a fist to the face. 

Adrien fell on the floor, gasping. 

“Are you alright?” She asked, helping him up.

He rubbed his neck sheepishly as he nodded. He knew she was Marinette, but the mask still turned his legs to jelly. 

“Why do you protect him, Ladybug? Don’t you know you can just be happy with me?” 

Marinette pushed Adrien behind her. “I might be able to be happy with my Chat Noir, but never with you. I love Adrien, and I’ll fight to protect him, even if he doesn’t love me back.” Though it was a brave declaration, she still blushed. 

“Ugh, don’t you get it? I am him!” 

“What?” 

“I’m Adrien! Adrien is Chat Noir! We’re supposed to be together! And we were! We were happy, Marinette! And then—and then you told me you didn’t love me anymore. You almost got akumatized over that…but I saved you.” He snarled. “But he kept us apart. My father knew who I was, and he turned me into this…” 

“Wait,” Adrien rasped. “Father turned you into…an akuma?” 

“Because he’s Hawkmoth, Adrien. He always has been. Mother is alive, in a coma, in the basement. And he never let you see her, because he doesn’t trust you.” 

“Shut up!” Ladybug shouted. 

“Even after he knew who I was, he still hit me. He beat me, Adrien, because he doesn’t love us!” 

Adrien held a hand over his face, willing his sobs to stay silent. 

“We’re just a pawn for him. But…I can make it better. Let me destroy you, and everything will stop hurting. I’ll take care of Marinette, I promise!” 

“That’s enough!” Ladybug lashed out and snagged his bell, ripped it from his throat, and smashed it on the floor. 

Then she caught the butterfly as it emerged, purified it, and let it go. But she didn’t call for a cure, not yet. 

Chat Noir, sans bell, glanced around the room in confusion. “Ladybug? What’s going on? Why are we here? Where’s Hawkmoth?” 

She met him with tear streaked cheeks. “You’re in the wrong timeline, Chat Noir.” 

His eyes flicked to Adrien, who was clearly shell shocked. “That would make…some sense.” 

“You were akumatized, and our Hawkmoth brought you here…probably to recruit you.” 

“Did I hurt anyone?” 

“You beat him. You beat Hawkmoth.” 

“And you tried to take my place,” Adrien hissed, showing his bruised throat. 

Chat Noir gripped his hair fiercely. “Oh crap! Oh crap crap crap! I’m so sorry! He’ll be all better once you do the cure, right Bug?” 

“Yeah. Physically, at least…but you did say some things that will hurt for a long time.” 

“I didn’t mean any of it! I was an Akuma, they lie and say all sorts of things—“ 

“You told me about Father. And mother.” 

“Oh…” he sighed. “Unfortunately, that’s too fresh in my mind to be a lie. I saw mom. He wanted to use the Miraculous to bring her back, but he was so unwilling to listen to me, to even think about working with us—that’s how it happened. He got me.” 

“I’m so sorry, Kitty.” Ladybug lamented. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.” 

He shook his head. “It’s over now. If I defeated him, then you don’t have to be subjected to it,” he told Adrien. “I don’t mind taking one for the team.” 

“Did you kill him?” Adrien asked. 

“I don’t know.” 

“Even if he did, casting cure would fix it.” Said Ladybug. “There might be hope for a happy ending.” 

Chat Noir took her hand and kissed her knuckles. “My Lady, will you send me back? I have to see her again. My Marinette. I have to see her and make up with her.” 

Ladybug patted his cheek fondly. “Knowing me, she probably still loves you. But something happened to make her put distance between you.” 

“You’ll be happy together, right?” He asked, pouting. 

Adrien slipped an arm around her waist and held her. “I think we’ll manage.” 

Ladybug hugged Chat briefly. “Thank you. For all your trauma and suffering, you helped us.” 

“You also revealed both of our identities to the class, but that’s the kind of mistake I would make as an Akuma…” Adrien winced. 

Chat Noir looked at all the shocked and concerned faces around him. “Wow, look at all these comforting, understanding, and loyal friends you have. Where’s Lila?” 

“Out sick today,” provided Sabrina. 

“Perfect! Don’t ever ever tell her what happened here. She’s a liar and would tell our identities in a heartbeat for a chance for fame.” 

“Not a problem, Kitty Cat,” said Alya, with a wink. “Some of us are pretty good secret keepers.” 

“You knew!?” Adrien cried, with betrayal in his voice. 

Alya winced. “Ah, yeah…”

“Adrien.” Ladybug took his face and held it with trembling hands. “My kitty, my partner, my best friend, what I’m about to tell you is going to suck and you’re going to hate it, and that’s why I haven’t told you.”

“I’ve already had a lot of bad news dropped on me today, lay it on me.” 

She glanced at the rest of the class and then Chat Noir. “Let me send him home, and then we’ll talk in privacy.” 

He nodded, not really fond of how much the class had already learned about him today. 

Ladybug threw her yo-yo up in the air. “Miraculous Ladybug!” 

In a wave of fluttering red, Chat Noir was gone, and so were the bruises on Adrien’s neck. 

“Spots off.” 

Now, the class started whispering. Up until that moment, shock held them in silence. After all, it's not everyday you find out your classmates are superheroes. 

“Miss Bustier, are you okay if we leave for a while?”

The teacher stammered a second, unfreezing from her complete and total shock. “I think it would be a crime to make you stay here today.”

Marinette smiled gratefully, before taking Adrien’s hand and leading him out into the hall. He was silent, rightfully so, and Marinette could only be happy there was no chance of him getting akumatized. 

Finally, they took a seat on a bench, and waited for the other to speak. 

“I…didn’t think this was how our identities would be revealed,” he breathed. 

“I always wanted to tell you.” Marinette insisted, “even though I said otherwise. Tikki and Master Fu were so adamant that I not tell a soul.” 

“So why does Alya know?”

She rested a hand on his. “I’ll get to that. But first…Chat Blanc.” 

Adrien sat attentive and quiet, holding his accusations for later. 

“It started about three months ago, when I gave you that Beret.” 

“Beret? The one from the Brazilian fan club?”

“Yeah…except it wasn’t. It was from me. Originally, I left it in your room, with my name on it. My real name. A little while after I left, Bunnix came to me, and explained that she needed my help. She took me into her burrow, and led me to the future…the future where you were akumatized.” 

“As Chat Blanc.”

“Yes.”

“That same akuma, that same Chat Noir?”

“I assume so. The moon was destroyed, the city flooded. You were all alone, everyone was gone.” 

“Where…where was that Ladybug?” 

She hesitated to say it, but admitted, “I found her underwater…cataclysmed.” 

“No…I wouldn’t have—“ 

“I know, Adrien. Chat Blanc was upset about it too. He cried. He wanted my Miraculous to make the wish and fix it.” 

“Sounds like an Akuma alright,” he said bitterly. 

“At the time, all I knew was that you knew my identity, and you said that our love destroyed the world. So…I assumed that you became akumatized by finding out who I was…and that the beret had something to do with it. So I erased my name.” 

“Oh…but Chat Blanc said he was akumatized because of my parents.” 

“I didn’t know that back then. I wish I had. As it stood, I was certain an identity reveal would end up with an Akuma.” 

“I understand your reasoning…but what about Alya?” 

She sighed, the guilt toiling around inside her. “That wasn’t…it was a spur of the moment thing. I was back into a corner and people were getting really worried about me. Worried and nosey…and so I told Alya. Rena Rouge.” 

“Ah. I see.” 

“I should have told you. I should have told you so you could have told someone. It’s not fair to think I was the only one that needed a confident.” 

“If I had to pick someone that wasn’t you, it would have been Nino. So I get it. Really, I do.” 

Tears welled up in her eyes regardless. He was hurting so badly, but what could she even do to help? 

“I’m sorry.” 

“You don’t have to apologize.” 

“Yes! Yes I do! Adrien, you’re my partner. Yes, keeping secrets can keep us safe for a while, but eventually we’ll run out of trust and then we’ll be in danger again. I don’t want to lose you!” 

He gave her a little smile. “I might be upset, but you aren’t going to lose me. I promise.” 

She squeezed his hand. “No more secrets. We train as guardians together. I’ll tell you all the auxiliary heroes, and all the formulas and—“ she stopped, blushing. 

“What?” 

“Ugh…I have to tell you something, since I said no more secrets.” 

“Is it bad?” 

“…no?” 

He turned his hand to squeeze her back. “Okay. Well then, let’s hear it.” 

She looked away, too nervous to look at his face. “Gah! This is just as hard as it’s always been!” 

“I’m not going to judge you.” 

“I know! I know!” 

Pretend this is just Chat. She goaded herself. 

“I…I’m in…love with you?” She squeaked out. There. The deed was done. She shyly turned to look at him. 

Wide, sparkling eyes full of tears, but a big smile on his face. “You mean it? You said as much to Chat Blanc, but I didn’t know for sure…”  

“Ugh, right. That.” She nodded. “You were the boy I kept turning…well, you down for. I’m sorry…” 

“I’m not!” He chirped. “Marinette, if anyone was going to have a crush on me as Adrien, I’m so glad it’s you. You really know me! You’re special to me, and I always considered you as a friend.” 

She sighed, hearing the magic words. “As I’ve heard.” 

He frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

She blushed again. “It’s just…whenever we had a moment, or I tried to do something special for you, you always remind me that you feel…nothing for me.” 

“Wait, what? That’s what you got out of that?” 

“That you want me as a friend and just a friend?” 

He actually laughed at her and pulled her into a hug. “Marinette, I thought you were nervous around me because you were uncomfortable. I said that stuff to let you know I treasured our friendship. I love you so so much, My Lady. I was deeply in love with Ladybug, and completely in denial with Marinette.” 

“Can confirm!” Shouted Plagg from inside his jacket. 

“So having you be the same? I’m…I’m so happy!” He hugged her tightly. “Today has thrown a lot of bad things at me, and I’m so worried about what comes next. But with you, I’m sure I’ll be okay.” He pulled away slightly. “You…will stay with me for whatever happens, right? I know Hawkmoth being my dad is kind of a deal breaker…” 

Marinette wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned up into him, kissing him right on the mouth. 

He stiffened briefly, before melting against her and pulling her tighter into the hug. 

The kiss was perfect, not in execution or performance, but because of the love they felt. Adrien nipped at her lip, and Marinette hummed as she twined her fingers into his hair. 

They pulled away begrudgingly. 

“You and me against the world, right Kitty?” 

“You know exactly what to say to make my heart swoon, my lady love.” 

“I’m sorry I hurt you.” 

“Kiss me and I’ll get over it.” 

“I’m serious, Kitty.” She touched his cheek. “I knew it was going to hurt, and I foolishly and cowardly put it off, hoping it would go away.” 

“Marinette, from what you said…it wasn’t just painful for me. It scared you, didn’t it? You said…when Chat Blanc appeared, that you thought you were having a nightmare. Do you dream of him?” 

“Sometimes.” 

“I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s not your fault, Adrien.” 

He considered his next move, and decided to scoop her up into his lap. “So, here’s my idea. If you have another nightmare about him, you call me, and I’ll be there in a jiffy.” 

“And do what?” 

“Hold you. Kiss you. Reassure you. Cuddle with you until you fall asleep. Whatever you need.” 

She snuggled closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, bugaboo.” 

Silence lapsed between for a while, as they just sat together, enjoying the warmth of their bodies, and the open air between them. 

Marinette sighed. “We should probably go confront your father.” 

“Yeah. We should…” 

“Could…I offer you a reward if we go through with it?” 

“What could possibly motivate me?” 

“Once we’re done, and everything is put away…we can find a random, secluded rooftop and…make out for a while.” 

Adrien stood, with Marinette still in his arms. “You know how to motivate a man.” 

“I’ll be with you every step of the way. Just think about later.” 

“One peck for the road?” 

“One.” 

Adrien held her tightly before dipping her and pressing a sinful, toe-curling kiss to her lips. When he finished a few minutes later, she breathlessly huffed, “that was not a peck.” 

“No, but I need the strength.” 

“Somehow, it’s a lot harder to stay mad at you. You can put me down now.” 

“Nah. Plagg, Claws out!” 

“Tikki, Spots on!” 

The closer they got to the mansion, the faster Chat’s mood tanked. All the surface level happy feelings had bubbled away, and now he was filled with dread and apprehension. 

“I…I don’t want to send my dad to jail,” he said, as they landed inside the walls. 

“I know Kitty. I can do the talking.” 

“You’re so good at it, Princess.” 

She knocked twice, but didn’t wait for an answer before entering. 

It didn’t matter. Gabriel and Nathalie were sitting in the lobby, waiting, as it appeared. 

“Hello son,” said Gabriel, with not a trace of malice in his voice. 

Chat halted, paling considerably. “You know?” 

“Chat Blanc revealed as much. What did he tell you?” 

“He said that…mom was still alive. You wanted the Miraculous to wake her up.” 

“That’s right. But…” he sighed. “Can I humble myself and ask for your help, Ladybug? Can you look at her? Can you see if there’s any hope?” 

“I would love to.”

[goggles-mcgee]

Too Late: Marianne (commission for miner249er)

Chapter 9 of the commission for @miner249er

Previous Work

Last Chapter                                  Next Chapter 

Summary: Marianne wanted to be back in Paris as a shoulder to cry on, as a friend, not a warning.

Marianne stepped out of doors of the train with a hesitation that felt like weights attached to her ankles. Those that saw her probably thought it was because of her age, she wished it was due to her age, but no. Her hesitation stemmed from the reason she was back in Paris at all and because of how much Paris had changed since what Fu was calling, ’the incident.’ What happened was no mere ‘incident’ and to call it that was a horrid understatement, but she supposed she understood why her love referred to it as such. Fu did what he did best, he felt guilty, and it was something she wished she could help shoulder but in the end he never let her. But this was not something he could just shoulder and deal with himself, this was bigger than them, bigger than Paris and she came to warn Fu. She just hoped he listened to her. Wang Fu was a kind man but he was a man haunted by his failures to the point that they are all he saw. He was blind to anything that wasn’t his redemption for the longest time, and it broke her heart.

Hopefully with age and everything that has happened, he was willing to have an open heart and ears. Marianne honestly didn’t know what she would do if he was drowning in his guilt and was too focused on his mistakes to listen to her warning, probably smack him upside the head like she used to do in their youth but still. She loved the man but he was stubborn when it came to self sabotaging himself, she was always the level headed (and best looking) one. As she walked the streets of Paris she couldn’t help but think of the young Ladybug she had become acquainted with the last time she had been in the City of Love. She had been a wonderful, brave, young girl. Yes she made a mistake but she owned up to it and she didn’t let the mistake weigh her down. Yes, Marinette Dupain-Cheng had been an astounding Ladybug, which made what she needed to tell Fu all the more worrisome. 

Truthfully she was worried what his reaction would be the closer she came to the location they agreed to meet at. When she saw the stone steps that would lead her to the Jardin de la Vallée Suisse she almost hesitated following their path, but she simply took in a deep breath and walked. It was a beautiful park that was no doubt, but whatever joy she would have felt getting to bask in the park and the statue it housed was dampened by the pressure to share the danger she had come across and the prophecy it held. The thought made it easy to pick up speed until she saw Fu standing by the artificial pond that housed carp. The sight of him brought a smile to her face and a pang of worry to her heart. 

“Hello dear.” She said softly as she moved to join him beside the pond. She noticed that they were thankfully alone in the park, though that wasn’t all that surprising given it was a bit difficult to find if you didn’t know where you were heading or were not a local. 

“Marianne, hello, how was your travels?” Fu greeted with a small smile before giving her two brief kisses, one on each cheek, a gesture she returned happily. 

“Well. How are you my dear Fu?”

The man beside her was silent for a while, like he couldn’t quite find the right words but eventually he did answer. “I am doing as well as I can be. It’s hard, I see her everywhere. Marinette...she truly was an extraordinary girl, I only hope she accepts my apologies when we find her.”

“It’s good you haven't lost hope.”

“It was not easy I will admit, but I see kids standing up, being heroes in her name, I see the way she touched everyone she ever met, there was no way I could give up or wallow in sadness. Not when I know I am not the only one hurting.” Fu watched the carp in the pond swim as he spoke. Marianne politely ignored the tears she saw in his eyes. 

“She was a remarkable young woman.” 

“Yes. I do not doubt she is still being remarkable...wherever she is. Now, what have you come here for my friend?” Fu asked as he looked at Marianne. She ignored the pang in her heart at the ‘friend’ even if she knew she held his heart and affections, she did her best to look unaffected as she looked over the swimming carp. 

“Well, with Hawkmoth and Mayura dealt with I no longer have to hide, and as much as I would adore this to be a date and catch up moment, I fear I bring unsettling news to say the least.” She answered honestly, her cheeks a little warm at the admission of the date, no matter how old time told her she was, she was still that young headstrong, lovestruck girl she had been when she and Fu had met. She was sad and hesitant to break the ease of the air around them, but they would have time for pleasantries later she reasoned. 

“I figured that was the case. Come, let’s sit my dear Annie.” Fu gestured over to a bench that was almost as hidden as the park itself. It was obscured by surrounding trees, just enough in the shade to be comfortable, but enough in the sun to not be chilled by the shadows. Having heard the old nickname, she happily followed and let him help her sit. 

“I think it goes unsaid that even while I had to be hidden, I did not stay still.” She started after a while of them both just sitting there, letting themselves breathe in a moment of peace. 

“You never could stay still. Even back then.” Back when he ran and left her behind.

“As my mother used to say, I am as stubborn as a bull, and as my old teachers would say, I can not sit still when there are things I want to be done.” Marianne chuckled fondly at old memories. “When I went into hiding, I must admit I did not want to stray far just in case you ever needed me. I did leave France, as I didn’t know the depth of Hawkmoth’s powers or if he had found ways to grow said powers. I decided to hide in London. It’s a good spot for an old bird like myself to go unnoticed.” 

“You are many things Marianne, old is not one of them.” 

“Flatterer.” Marianne chuckled even if she felt herself flush at the comment. “That is beside my point and you know it.”

“Perhaps.” Fu mused with a strained smile. “Perhaps I am trying to avoid the conversation we have to have, given your words and body language, it is not something that will bring joy in these trying times.” 

Marianne took a moment just to look at the blue of the sky and breathe in the air before she looked at the man beside her. “It is not, but you can’t run from every bad storm that comes on the horizon. It’s better to be prepared and have shelter you know will help against the storm.” She took a hold of Fu’s closest hand in both of hers and gave it a squeeze. She could feel the tremble of his hand, no doubt mirrored by the other. 

It took several moments before Fu no longer trembled, it took longer before either was ready to let go of the other’s hand, but there would be time for that later. Hopefully. “You are right.” Fu said once he found his voice.

“I always am.” Marianne quipped softly making Fu chuckle in response before his eyes found hers. She could tell he wasn’t happy, but he was as ready as he could be to hear what drove her out of hiding besides Hawkmoth’s defeat. What drove her back to him other than their romantic feelings. “I am also not one to beat around the bush. While in hiding I had to keep myself busy, as you know I am not one to dawdle. I asked the spirits around me if they needed help or if they knew of anything...sketchy, going on in London.”

“Marianne! That’s incredibly risky of you, especially when you were in hiding. I know you can’t help communicating with the spirits part, but to purposefully seek out trouble…” Fu fretted and admonished all at once. As much as it irritated her, it also impressed Marianne. Ever since she was a young girl she had been able to sense, see, and communicate with spirits, apparently this was something that all women in her family possessed so it was no surprise to her mother when a young Marianne was found to be speaking to what others only saw as air. It was around then that her mother taught her how to hone in her skills and how best to use them, of course her mother also warned her about her gift and what it could bring, but their family never ran from something and they never left someone who needed help. Even if that someone was a spirit. Especially if that someone was a spirit. It was kind of their unspoken job to help spirits out, whether to accomplish any unfinished business or simply help them pass along a message to a loved one. Some instances she even had to pass on messages not for loved ones...those ones were always the most interesting. 

Sure, in her quest to help spirits she always did run into the more dangerous ones, but she never backed down. That was not how she was raised, and that was just not her. She saw a problem and she met in head on, and in that way her and Fu would always differ. “I have always been this way Wang Fu, and I always will.”

“I didn’t mean-”

“I know what you meant and my response remains the same. Now, to continue, the local spirits of course asked for help passing on messages, finding a missing item, but a couple spoke of something that intrigued me. Something that resulted in their deaths. A group. They never gave this group a name, but they all spoke similarly about it. It consists of a lot of not so nice people, people who do not have good intentions, people who purposefully seek the demise of others. It worried me that such a group was meeting and apparently it wasn’t even known by local authorities, or if it was then it was operating under the blindness of the people and the willfully negligent back of the authorities.” Marianne began as she looked out over the park, she hadn’t noticed them before but she could see wandering souls, spirits who stopped to listen to her, and she could see the spirits of the animals that once lived there going through the motions of their once-lives. 

“I was worried, understandably, but the spirits merely wanted me to retrieve their belongings from this group so they could be sent to their families or wherever else they wanted. Of course I agreed,” Marianne paused for a second at Fu’s noise of indignation, “it was the least I could do for the poor souls. They showed me where this group liked to meet up, where they met them and their respective ends. It was an unassuming film studio, very professional looking, not at all the type of place you would expect a basically evil cult to meet. So I did what I did best, acted like an old woman who just found a favorite place to feed some birds. I staked the place out.” 

“They...the group didn’t suspect anything?”

“Not to my knowledge.” Marianne answered honestly. “Their meeting place was in the basement, I will admit it was difficult finding a way down there without alerting anyone or being caught on camera. I say finding the hidden room was more difficult, that, that took several days. Thankfully the spirits were more than willing to lend a hand. Once in the room I took my time looking around, I had some of the more...sentient spirits on watch should anyone come down and try and enter the room. To be honest it looked like a fancy conference room more than anything my mind conjured up when I thought of some evil group lurking in the underground of a business.” 

The mahogany round conference table and the red cushioned matching chairs that surrounded it while the LED lights shined off it was something imprinted in her mind. The whiteboards on the walls were more of a shock than the altar in the corner, it looked like it was made from the stump of a tree, cut tall for its purpose, the top of it was an oval shaped plate of prophecy stone. On the prophecy stone was a long tapestry that was falling off both of the wider sides, it had pulled Marianne in. The energy, sometimes it felt like it was still pulling at her, even here in Paris when she thought of it too hard. The tapestry was the whole reason she reached out and made the trip to Paris, more accurately what was on the tapestry and what it meant. Of course she took photos on her phone, and she did help the spirits get their personal items back but that was another story. Marianne took her phone out of her purse and pulled up the pictures from the hidden folder on her phone before passing the device to Fu.

At the sharp intake he made, she resumed. “Besides the spirits' belongings I found that tapestry on a pedestal of sorts that was made of prophecy stone. By the name I bet you can gather what exactly this tapestry is supposed to be.”

“A prophecy…” Fu breathed out. 

Marianne nodded her head before looking forward, she knew Fu would look at the rest of the pictures as she spoke. “Not just any prophecy. One that speaks of darkness and chaos. Brought upon not only Europe, but the world by one named Jörmungandr. Fu...this group seeks the secrets of what I could translate and make out to be some sort of secret tribe of.”

“Vikings…” Fu cut in with wide eyes.

“We both know the Vikings had many tribes, many hidden and not known to us, many that knew magic, and from what I see on that tapestry there and the documents I managed to take pictures of as well, this specific tribe can summon and control daemons, demons.” Marianne clarified.

“The demons...on the tapestry, that is what the creatures are supposed to be?” Fu asked in a small voice. She could hear the dread. 

“Yes.”

“They look an awful lot like...well like dragons…” Fu’s voice was tight, and honestly Marianne couldn’t blame him, when she saw the tapestry she nearly threw up from the shock and the panic. If this prophecy came true, if this secret tribe was found, the world was doomed.

“My thoughts exactly...I...I will be honest, I believe in many things, Wang Fu...but dragons had never been on the list. I have heard of people summoning daemons of many designs, but never dragons. This is...this is bigger than Paris. Bigger than France.” 

It was quiet for a long time, how long? Marianne didn’t know, but it felt like an eternity. “This...this will need the help of the Miraculous.” Fu said gravely.

“I agree, which is why I brought it to you...and, well, there is more, the prophecy, this Jörmungandr...She is said to command an army of dragons, one so big it would blacken the sky as they flew. She is too bring the fire rain, the toxic smoke, the thunderous roars loud and shrill enough to crack the earth. Jörmungandr is to devour the very world.” Marianne shakily announced and Fu looked down at the pictures of the tapestry in dawning fear.

“...This will require Ladybug.” He grew paler and paler as the seconds passed. Marianne followed to do the same as she realized he didn’t truly see all that was being shown to him and her heart was squeezed painfully in an iron grip as it dawned on her she would have to point out the heartbreakingly bad news he did not see, or refused to see in his grief. But he did not recognize her guilty panic as he continued to ramble. “I will have to double down on my efforts to find Marinette! She is one of the strongest Ladybug’s in history, we will need her! I will have to study the Grimoire to see if there are any spells that can locate her and work harder with Tikki to do so. And we will create a team! Bigger and better than the past one, this will require every Miraculous I believe, and Marinette has always been such a good judge of character it probably won’t take long to form the team. I’ll have to speak with the Kwami about this as well, as well as Adrien and-”

“Fu.” Marianne didn’t shout but she said his name with such authority and urgency that he stopped his ramble and looked over at her, she wished he hadn’t because she could no longer hold in her guilt ridden tears. 

“Marianne? What’s wrong? I...I understand this is a daunting thing to learn but we know now and can prepare. It will be okay, everything will be okay as soon as we find Marinette and get started on the preparations.” Fu said as though his words brought the most absolute soothing powers. It made Marianne swallow around the lump in her throat.

“My darling Fu, don’t you see? Jörmungandr is Marinette.” Marianne finally was able to announce. It didn’t make her feel any better, especially as she watched Fu look back down at her phone, up at her, back down, before he zoomed in to the figure on the tapestry and lost any color he had regained from before.

“No. No! No it can’t be her! It can’t! She is too pure to ever...to ever..”

“I think past circumstances show anything can happen, and anyone can break. But not all is lost! This is merely a prophecy! It is not written in stone, it is not written in the stars, this doesn’t have to happen...but I do agree with your earlier idea. We will need to double down, pull out every stop, every resource, and find Ms. Marinette...before what is prophesied comes true. We will need to prevent this from happening, no matter the consequences.” 

“Come. I think we have much to plan...and...and I will need help telling Tikki all of this. I do not believe she will take it well if it is me who tells her of Marinette’s...possible fate.”

“I can do that. I’m here to stay, and I’m here to help. Let’s go.” 

Marianne politely looked away as Fu wiped the tears off his face, they had been so silent she hadn’t even noticed them before. “Let’s.”

Next Chapter

[samuel-de-champagne-problems]

It's Delicate: Part II

Summary: Spencer Reid finds himself at a gas station at 2:00 am, thinking he’s only leaving with a cup of crappy coffee. But something taped to the door catches his eye. Spencer leaves the gas station with more than he intended: the chance at a friend, and maybe something more along the way.

Word Count: 3.6 k

Author’s Note: Here's the second part in It's Delicate, my first chapter fic. I've planned out kind of where I see this eventually going! Thank you to anyone who reads, likes, comments, and reblogs. It really means the world to me.

Content Warnings: Expletive language (3 uses), mentions of drug use, sexual innuendo

READ PART I

It's Delicate Masterlist

It's Delicate

Sitting on the plane, Spencer looks out from the little window. For hours, there’s been nothing but corn fields and clouds. It’s eerily peaceful, being there high above the clouds. His whole life Spencer has felt this distance between him and everyone else, but nothing makes that feeling more prominent than being strapped in a glorified metal box 35,000 feet off the Earth’s surface. But the thing is, Spencer does need to be flying above the trees to feel lonely. He can do that with two feet on the ground.

Luke sits across Spencer, the table between them and a deck of playing cards are spread out across its surface. He has to nudge Spencer’s leg from under the table, trying to bring him back to reality as he stares out the window.

“Whatcha thinking,” Luke asks, Spencer has been noticing more and more that Luke is one of the few people that actually listens to him.

Spencer, whose mind is racing too fast to even formulate an articulate thought, attempts to dodge Luke’s question with a noncommittal shrug.

“Reid, these cases are hard for all of us, you gotta know that man,” Luke says, laying down a four of a kind.

Spencer narrows his eyes, shocked that it hasn’t clicked yet for the rest of the team. He cracks his neck, preparing to answer Luke.

“We almost locked up an innocent man, Alvez. I almost sent another man to the same fate as myself. What kind of fucked up message is that?” Spencer says, throwing down the cards on the table. He doesn’t wait for Luke to respond.

“I fold,”

Spencer walks off into the small kitchenette to make a cup of coffee. He doesn’t want to think about his increased reliance on coffee, because he knows it’s a hot cup of coffee or a cold needle of Dilaudid in his veins. Spencer checks his watch, it’s 10:17 pm, maybe too late to find a meeting at a church or rec center somewhere.

He sneaks a peak at his phone, which was still unfortunately on Airplane Mode, he hasn’t even gotten a chance to see if Y/N has responded. He doesn’t know much about her, just as much as she knows about him.

It’s a brave new world for Spencer and he’s knee deep into the unknown.

Spencer can feel Luke’s eyes on him. He just knows that the minute he gets home, a certain tech expert will be ringing him. He knows that it’s Luke’s way of caring, but for someone who’s been alone for so long, having people that actually care is almost drowning.

Walking back to his seat, Spencer hands Luke a coffee. He smiles slightly; it’s the awkward smile that he used to make when intimating police chiefs and idiot cops would look him up and down like he’s a TA. It’s a peace offering for Luke, who despite his tough looking exterior, is one of the kindest people Spencer knows.

“Look, Reid. I’m sorry that we didn’t put it together. It’s just that man that we caught, he’s not like you. He’s not innocent of crimes, he’s just innocent of this crime,” Luke says in an attempt to make Spencer feel a little bit better.

“The thing is Luke, I’m exactly like that man,”

Spencer returns to staring out the window. The cards and the coffee on the table are long ignored for the silence that is found when you’re high above the clouds.

--

Spencer hears Tara and Emily murmur quietly about going out for a round of drinks. Luke accepts, while JJ and Matt decline, eager to get home to their families. Emily looks over at Spencer, her eyes silently scanning him, his body language. Spencer knows that there’s nothing he can hide from Emily, so there’s no use in trying to pretend he’s alright when she can take one look at him and know that nothing is right.

“You guys have fun, I’m going to head home and get some sleep. I plan on visiting my mom tomorrow and mornings are usually better for her,” Spencer says, slinging his go bag around his shoulders and making the trek back to the security to check out.

He walks slowly, enjoying the sound of the crickets chirping as he trudges along. Spencer tries not to think about the man, Richard, who was almost locked up for a crime that he didn’t commit. Spencer is pretty sure that being the person to throw an innocent man in jail is worse than being the innocent man in jail.

Spencer’s phone buzzes loudly, disturbing the silence of his walk. He looks at the phone to see a couple of messages from Y/N. Spencer slides open the lock to his phone and hits the button to read her messages.

Y/N: Spencer...that has a nice ring to it. So tell me a little bit about yourself. Your big three, but as books. Go! 🌞🌙⬆️

Furrowing his brow, Spencer reads the message over again. He does not have a clue what “big three” means, but it seems like some sort of pop culture thing that he’s not skilled in. He wants to text Garcia for a translation, but he’s also not too keen on telling her how he came across Y/N’s number.

Y/N: I assume you’re working, but I'm kind of impatient so I’ll give you mine 🙃 I’m a Little Women sun, an Emma moon, and an In Cold Blood rising.

Y/N: Oh no….I hope my astrology didn’t turn you off

Y/N: Not that I was trying to turn you on

Y/N: omg Y/N please shut the fuck up

Astrology? Spencer isn’t one to judge, but he’s a scientist first and foremost. The idea that there is something written about him in the stars seems like ludicrous. He decided to ignore the other messages, particularly the ones with a little more than slight innuendo.

Spencer: Y/N- I’m sorry I just got out of work. As for my big three, I’m not sure about astrology. I don’t particularly believe in pseudoscience. But those are good choices. In Cold Blood is an excellent choice. Capote spent years researching the case. In fact his prose and technique inspired the entire “Nonfiction novel” genre. The world of journalism and true crime would not be where it is without Capote’s work.

Y/N: Oh my god. You are a total nerd. 🙀

That stops Spencer right in his tracks. He’s only a couple of yards away from the Volvo at this point, but somehow it feels a million miles away. You are a total nerd. The words replay in his mind as the small gray bubbles pop up again. Spencer can feel his heart constrict at Y/N’s words. It’s ridiculous, he’s nearly 34 and is getting upset that a stranger called him a nerd. Spencer unlocks his car and tosses his go bag, phone included onto the passenger seat.

After a couple of minutes his phone buzzes again. He’s half tempted to answer it, but the way his heart seems to beat faster tells him to ignore it.

Y/N: I fucking love it and I think you’ll love this too

Spencer’s entire demeanor changes as he reads the message. He’s always had difficulties reading emotion in writing, especially when he can’t analyze the handwriting. Sometimes, it’s even harder to judge inflection during conversations. Maybe that is why Spencer has spent all this time studying people, studying the way that their minds work. Before he can get too lost in his thoughts, another message pops up.

Y/N: Meet Capote and Second Cat

Y/N: They are the loves of my life

Spencer: They are very...distinguished looking. Capote is an excellent name choice then. Second Cat is also quite catchy.

Spencer hesitates before sending the message, he notices that Y/N uses what Garcia calls “emojis” quite frequently. He assumes that it’s some sort of “texting lingo” that expresses emotion in small graphics. Great, he thinks. He already has a difficult time deciphering Y/N’s cryptic wording and now he’s got to analyze these emojis.

Maybe he should profile her. He re-reads the message and settles on a “😄” because he figures that he can’t go wrong with offering Y/N a smile.

Spencer: I don’t have a cat, but when I was a kid I always wanted one, they’re quite good companions for those that live several different kinds of lifestyles. From active to sedentary, they are adaptable and independent. Honestly they are the perfect pet.

Y/N: Is this your way of telling you’re a crazy cat man? 😜 🙀

Spencer, still sitting in his car that’s parked in the parking lot, chuckles at Y/N’s response to his message. Maybe it’s just easier to ignore his rambling when it’s done through 1s and 0s and there isn’t a face to the words.

Spencer: I’m actually more of a fish guy

Y/N: Like a “I-like-to-go-fishing-and-post-picture-of-myself-kissing-my-catch-on-Tinder” kind of fish guy or...I can’t think of any other kind of fish men

Spencer, not totally understanding the obvious joke that Y/N is trying to make, settles on something that he hasn’t really ever tried: being himself.

Spencer: Not quite sure what a Tinder is, but I think fishing is terrifying and kissing a fish is something out of nightmares. But his name is Leo

Y/N: DiCaprio?

Spencer: Uhh, Tolstoy

Y/N: Good😉 ⚔️🕊️ 🇷🇺

Spencer glances at his clock on the control panel, it tells him that he’s been messaging with Y/N back and forth for nearly 22 minutes. He nearly forgot how tired he was.

Spencer: Y/N- I’m so sorry but, I just got to my car to drive home from work. I’ll text you tomorrow morning about the book club, maybe we can figure out some things.

Y/N: OMG Spencer!! you should have told me. I’ve been talking ur ear off. sleep well and yes please tomorrow we can talk about the book club

Y/N: Good night, Book Buddy 😴

Spencer wants to respond to Y/N, but he doesn’t know what to say. She seems to text so easily, and judging by that, she must be around Spencer’s age or a little bit younger. Besides JJ and Penelope, Spencer has never had a friend close to his age. It’s a strange new territory for him and he’s walking in head first into No Man’s Land.

He starts his Volvo, the check engine still lights but, reminding him once again to go get it fixed. Driving away from the parking lot, Spencer hands over his ID to Gina, the security guard. She checks his ID and gives him a tired smile. Spencer, as he drives home to his apartment, thinking about what books he and Y/N will read together. He wonders what kind of books are her favorite, if they have any authors that they can obsess over together, or if what she thinks a poet’s prose is.

The summer air rushing in through the window is nowhere as warm and as comforting as thought of Spencer finally having a friend that isn’t able to read the scars of his past in the text bubbles that pop up on her screen.

--

When Spencer opens his eyes for the first time that morning, he isn’t sure where he is. Sometimes, before he can stop his thoughts from travelling there, Spencer thinks he’s still in jail. He hates the feeling of terror that rushes over him but he hates the idea of being vulnerable a little bit more. But the softness of his pillows and the coolness of his cotton sheets remind him that he’s not sleeping on a hard cot with only a layer of fabric over his body. The light streams in through the half closed blinds, and Spencer judges by how brightly the sun shines in, it must be around 9:45 am.

He supposes that he prefers the way the sun’s rays paint horizontal bars across his face more than the vertical bars that cast gray shadows over his cell at Milburn Penitentiary.

It’s a day off from work, so Spencer didn’t set an alarm, instead allowing his mind and his body to catch up on some much needed rest. The nightmares have been getting better, but his dreams are still haunted by the way that he hardly recognizes himself anymore. Deciding that it will be a day spent in pajamas, Spencer goes to his bookshelf in his bedroom to pick out a couple of novels to read while he drinks his morning coffee and defrosts some of Luke’s strawberry pastries.

Before heading out of his room, Spencer stops himself in the doorway. He replays the events of last night. He declined to go out with the rest of the team, while he walked to his car he thought about the crickets telling the temperature, and he read over Y/N’s messages.

Y/N.

He promised he’d text her back in the morning about their book club. Last night, she didn’t seem to mind Spencer’s long messages and awkward phrasing. He still doesn’t really know how this Book Buddy thing would work, but since he found Y/N’s number on the flyer, he can only assume that she knows what to do. He leaps on his bed, landing with thud on his belly, to grab his phone that charges on his nightstand.

Spencer settles at his kitchen table, a cup of steaming hot Dark Roast coffee in a Captain Spock mug in one hand and, surprisingly, his phone in the other. He scrolls through the messages from last night, Y/N’s cat and emojis tempt a smile to Spencer’s face.

Not entirely sure how to start the conversation again, Spencer looks around for inspiration until his eyes land on a certain fish tank in the corner of his apartment. He snaps a quick picture of Leo and attaches it to the message.

Spencer: Good Morning from Leo & Spencer

Spencer sets down his phone after a moment when he realizes that Y/N is probably not going to answer him back in a couple of seconds. He takes out a strawberry pastry from his freezer and puts it into the toaster oven on a non-stick baking sheet. His thumbs run across the texture of the book he started on the plane ride after his and Luke’s ill fated poker game. It's a thin book of collected essays on the meaning of life. Camus, to Spencer, is a little pessimistic with his droning on about the meaninglessness of life. Though Spence has seen the absolute worst that humanity has to offer, he still has to believe that there’s a deeper meaning behind it all.

His toaster oven rings, altering him so that his toasted strawberry pastry is cooked. He plates his breakfast and pours himself another cup of coffee- he’ll need it to get through Camus’s section on Absurdism this early in the morning. But the flash of Spencer’s phone screen sends him reaching for his phone. Y/N replied to his message.

Y/N: hi leo!!!

Y/N: and you too Spencer :) Did you get a good night’s sleep. You got back late it seems.

Spencer, taking a bite of the strawberry pastry, ignores the burning sensation in his mouth. He types out a response to Y/N as he washes down the bite with a swing of coffee.

Spencer: I did, thank you. Can you tell me a little bit more about this book buddy thing. From what I gathered from the flyer it’s like a little book club of our own and we meet at the bookstore?

It doesn’t take long for Y/N to respond. The little gray dots pop up almost immediately after Spencer’s message is delivered.

Y/N: That’s about right! Is it okay if I call you? Kinda easier to talk that way 🤷‍♀️

Spencer reads over the message a couple of times. He doesn’t really like to talk on the phone and only does it out of necessity. He’s pretty sure that his voice is grating and his vocal fry is quite irritating. Yet, he finds himself replying “yes” to Y/N. Soon enough, his phone buzzes in his hand and Spencer has to remind himself how to pick up a call.

“Spencer? Um, this is Spencer Reid, right?” the voice says. It’s a woman’s voice and he can only assume that it’s Y/N, considering it is her phone number calling him.

“Y/N, uh hi. This is Dr. Spencer- I mean this is Spencer,” he says, nearly forgetting that Y/N doesn’t know him as Dr. Reid, but as just Spencer. It’s been a long time since someone has known him as Spencer.

“Oh great! It’s wonderful to finally have a voice to your name. So about these buddy reads. You seem to have a good grasp of what they are,” Y/N’s voice trails off a little bit at the end and Spencer finds it natural to fill in the silence.

“Yes, the flyer was quite informative. But I was wondering, do we read the same books or do we read different books?” Spencer asks, trying to restrain himself from scaring Y/N off. But something about her made him think that she didn’t scare easily.

Y/N chuckles lightly in the speaker of her phone, “that’s a good question, uh, I was actually going to ask you what you would rather. We can read the same books, or if it’s okay with you we can choose what the other would read for that week,”

“Oh really?” Spencer says, very much aware how his voice rises a couple of octaves. He can’t trust himself to hold back on rambling over the phone Y/N, so he resorts to using his strained, brittle voice that’s full of hesitation and restraint.

“That’s the plan, so whatcha thinking, Spencer,” Y/N says playfully, like she can sense that phone conversations maybe not make him feel at ease. There’s something so natural and silvery about her voice; it reminds Spencer of an audiobook reader. While he’s not too keen on audiobooks, he’s sure that he’d listen to anything she reads or has to say.

“Um, I think it sounds interesting to pick out books for each other. I tend to gravitate towards more technical books or even books that aren’t in English so, uh, I think it would be interesting to get out of my comfort zone,” Spencer says, cringing internally at using the word “interesting” twice in a couple of sentences.

“Well, as long as you don’t pick out something in physics or anything by Ayn Rand then I’d say we’re good,” Y/N says. Spencer thinks it’s a joke, but he’s not too sure how to respond.

“Will you still be my Book Buddy if I read 1 out of 2 of those?” Spencer asks, hoping she’d get that he is trying to continue the joke.

“Oh no Spencer please don’t tell me you’re an Ayn Rand fanboy,” she says, and by the airy way she laughs, Spencer ventures to guess his joke landed successfully.

“So,” Spencer starts, he never has made plans with people outside of his team, and on top of that, there’s something about Y/N’s quickness that makes him a little nervous to meet her.

“I’m talking your ear off, aren’t I? Please Spencer, if you’re going to be my Book Buddy, you’re going to have to get used to me talking a lot, especially you pick out good books, which, I already have a feeling you’re going to be favorite Book Buddy,”

For once in his life, Spencer doesn’t really know how to respond. He lets out something in between a strangled laughter and a noncommittal chuckle.

“So,” Y/N says, mirroring Spencer’s earlier words, “so are you free tonight, I can meet you at the bookstore..”

Y/N’s voice trails off and Spencer leaps to finish her sentences. It doesn’t feel like his interjecting or interrupting, but like he’s snapping a puzzle piece together.

“Does 7 work?” “7 is great, Spencer. It’s a date,”

Those three little words send Spencer’s eyes flying wide open. He scrambles to come up with answer to louden the silence that falls, but he swears he can hear a string of quiet curses before Y/N manages to squeak out a small “goodbye,”

Y/N’s last words play back in Spencer’s ears. He scolds himself for being so weird and awkward that the very idea of going on a date with him would send Y/N in a tizzy. It’s not a date, because Spencer can’t think about it being a date. It’s not a date because of the looming photo above his mantle that freezes his future in the past. It’s not a date because of the nightmare of vertical bars that haunt his dreams

It’s not a date. It’s so not a date because Spencer would call Luke to come over to help him if it was.

“Hey Luke,” Spencer says, trying to control the nervous waves in his voice, “no man, I’m fine, it’s uh, easier if you just come over. I’m fine, really,”

Y/N: I really hope you're not an Ayn Rand fanboy 😉

It’s so not a date.

--THANK YOU FOR READING--

TAGLIST

@shemarmooresfedora

@april-14-blog

@willowrose99

@calm-and-doctor

@spideygenius

@nomajdetective

@measure-in-pain

More Amazing People I Want to Share This With :)

@alltooreid

@rigatonireid

@goldentournesol

@ssa-m-187

@dreatine

@aperrywilliams

@reidyoulikeabook

[jadepetals]

so this is part 5 of the fics that i’ve read and have stayed with me for a looong time, hope they make you feel the same way.

Happy Valentine's Day, You Cockroach / 2048 words

Harry Styles, new director of the Milltown Zoo, has a great idea for a Valentine's Day themed fundraiser. For a donation, they'll name cockroaches after people's exes and then feed them to the meerkats on a live stream. He just didn't foresee how many cockroaches would end up with his name...

tall stories on the page / 5705 words

harry's tired of being interviewed by people that only care about the same pointless gossip.

louis is a nice change of pace.

Visceral Heat & Carnal Highs / 17523 words

Louis is a demon at a house party prowling for a meal, indulging in horrendous sins to satisfy his hunger. Harry is the talk of the night, beckoning all eyes on him and the reason why Louis’s plan goes awry.

the dead things we carry / 25316 words

He hasn’t seen him since that day in France, that horrible muddy day where for one terrifyingly long second, Louis really thought he was going to die. He winces with the phantom pain, the hand not holding his cane going to his stomach automatically, remembering the franticness, the tenderness, of Harry’s hands while Louis was bleeding out.

This is the man who saved Louis’ life.

For one second, Louis fears Harry won’t recognise him, but his eyes widen when he turns to his left and they meet Louis’. He takes a step forward, reaching for him with a shaky hand before stopping himself.

“Louis,’ Harry says with a shudder and Louis doesn’t think his name has ever carried more weight.

This is the only man Louis ever thought about kissing for real.

“Oh,” Mrs. Padley says, clearly taken aback. “You two know each other?”

Runaway Darling / 26725 words

Louis hates weddings, Harry loves them, and together they help bride skip hers.

This World’s Ashes / 34633 words

Harry, battling his past as he survives in the woods, has learnt not to trust anyone except his dog. Then Louis crashes into his life, with his bright spirit and soft lips, pulling Harry from the depths of a loneliness he hadn’t realised he was drowning in. But there is danger lurking, and Harry’s not the only one wrestling with his past.

The Things I'd Do To Wake Up Next To You / 36109 words

Harry wakes up to a pregnant Louis Tomlinson and a wedding band on his finger.

Tell Me How To Feel About You Now / 38220 words

Harry has been trying to convince Louis to date him for years, but Louis has always been wary of Harry’s fairly obvious commitment issues. Louis eventually gives him a chance, opening his heart up to the one thing he fears.

Spoonful of Sugar / 42900 words

Louis Tomlinson cares for his family above all else, a fact that’s led him on a twisted path peddling drugs to support them. Just as he’s made the decision to jump ship, Louis gets snared between the two largest crime syndicates in the city. To keep his family safe he’s forced to trust the man that failed to keep his promise two years ago, the resident drug lord he’s unknowingly been working for, Harry Styles.

tastes like summer, smiles like may / 47519 words

A cold prince, an alpha with nothing left to lose and a kingdom with a secret.

social cues / 55860 words

To Harry, Louis was becoming as tangible and essential as music in his life. He still was a mystery but at the same time, he was one of the most real things Harry had. He just hoped he could live up to the image Louis probably had in his mind of him.

He could play the part, after all, what was published of him wasn’t as detached from reality. He didn’t think of himself as a rockstar cliche, although he couldn't deny he did sleep around, partied a lot, and did some drugs. But then again, wasn’t that what the majority of his friends back in his hometown were doing at college?

Harry wanted to impress Louis, he didn’t want to disappoint or leave his expectations unfulfilled, so he’d give him the full rockstar experience.

It was a very simple plan, what could possibly go wrong?

try to not remember (rather than forget) / 60979 words

*this is the spanish version since the author deleted their account*

Liberté / 64603 words

Pretending you don’t have a heart is not the best way to not get it broken. It’s just the easiest.

where they glow / 70511 words

Tangled AU where Louis dreams, Harry runs, and the sun prince has been missing for almost nineteen years.

shelter as we go / 75094 words

Louis looks at him like his words might break him, glass about to splinter, one wrong footfall away from shattering into a million tiny pieces.

“Hey,” Harry breathes, and he knows, meeting Louis’ eyes, that his words could break him easy as anything. He almost wants Louis to bring his boot down.

somewhere in between lightning / 99647 words

A summer gone wrong (or very right) when, under Liam’s persuasion, Louis finds himself drunkenly applying for Love Island, and getting accepted. Oh, well. A summer spent on an island paradise couldn’t be all that bad, right?

Imagine his surprise when Louis arrives in sunny Majorca to find that his first love and ex-boyfriend, Harry, is another contestant, about to capture the hearts of everyone in the villa. Most normal people don’t have to face their ex on an otherwise straight TV show. Most normal people don’t fall for their ex again in front of the whole nation, either. Too bad this whole situation isn’t normal.

A Taste of Desire / 104414 words

Harry is the owner of the most successful cotton mill in Manchester, and Louis is an opinionated social activist about to disrupt Harry’s world.

Mine Would Be You / 114697 words

Louis returns to New York City five years after he left it – and the love of his life – behind. He didn't intend to see Harry again, but fate has a funny way of pulling them together, whether they like it or not. After making a begrudging truce, they both start to wonder: Would it be so bad if history repeated itself?

Queen of Arizella / 277919 words

Stealing from Royalty is punishable by death.

Louis starts over, doing his best to keep his hands at his sides

but he is hungry and he tries stealing from the wrong Royal.

Harry is King of Arizella, he needs a Queen and who better than an omega on the run from death?

Louis will learn to become the perfect Queen -the perfect fake Queen, but only for a few months.

A fake lover, a fake Queen, but a real bond.

all we can do is keep breathing / 310000 words

A fated story of two broken and battered boys who barely survived the unimaginable and how the love of one little brave girl defies all the odds and somehow puts them back together. 

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5

[lumosandnoxwriting]

True Love - George Weasley

Title: True Love Pairing: George Weasley x Fem!Reader Summary: George may have married a girl his dead twin brother may have been in love with at some point but it’s really not what it looks like. A/N: this fic is born out of my hatred for a post I saw a few days ago that said George and Angelina only got together as a way to mourn Fred, and that they would eventually get divorced. Requests are open and feedback is always appreciated!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

George is tiptoeing past Roxanne’s partially opened door to get a glass of water when he hears the little girl call out to him.

“Daddy?”

George stops in his tracks and shuffles over to her door, peeking in the crack. The only light in the room comes from a pink everlasting fire Y/N had produced in a jar for their daughter to use as a night light a few weeks ago. Roxanne is curled up in a ball in her bed, drowning in her fluffy comforter. George and Y/N had tucked her in and kissed her goodnight a few hours ago, so he frowns when he notices that her deep brown eyes are open and blinking up at him.

“What’s wrong, pumpkin?” George asks as he pushes her door open.

Roxanne sits up a little, reaching out to him. “Can’t sleep.”

George smiles at her grumbly voice, sounding so much like her mother does when she’s tired. He enters her room with a small laugh and takes a seat on the edge of her bed. He strokes her mess of curls they call hair and presses a kiss to her forehead.

“Well that’s no good, pumpkin. How can Daddy fix that?”

Roxanne, smiles up at him, leaning back into her pillows. “Can I get a story? Please?” she begs.

George lets out a chuckle. “Of course.” He starts to reach for the copy of The Tales of Beadle the Bard that Y/N had placed on Roxanne’s night stand a few hours ago after she had fallen asleep. But he stops in his tracks when Roxanne grabs his forearm.

“Noo,” she coos quietly. “A story from your head, Daddy.”

George raises his eyebrows and chuckles at her demanding tone. Yep, there is no denying that she is Y/N’s daughter.

“Of course, pumpkin, how silly of me.” He brings his hand that had been reaching for the book back and places it on her cheek. “Any requests, darling? I could always whip out the one about the brave knight who lost an ear in battle.” George winks at his daughter while gesturing towards his missing ear, causing her to giggle.

“No, not that one. You always tell that one,” she teases.

George laughs again, tapping Roxanne on her nose. “Well sorry,” he drawls. “How about the one where the three brave knights rescue the King from the dungeon using their flying stead?” George frowns slightly at the memory of his twin, a pang of sadness in his chest. George gives Roxanne a questioning look when she shakes her head. “What do you wanna hear then, pumpkin?”

“Tell me the story about how you and Mummy fell in love,” she asks, looking up at him hopefully.

George bites his lip, contemplating the idea. Y/N and George had never really told their kids the full story of how they met, considering that it was pretty questionable. All they had told Roxanne and Fred ii is that they had been friends while at school, and a few years after graduation they met again and fell in love. They never mentioned the fact that Y/N used to date Fred.

“Well sweetie you know that story. Mummy and I went to school at Hogwarts together, and went our separate ways after graduation and then we got together a few years after,” George explains, trying to dodge the question.

Roxanne rolls her eyes. “That’s the short version. I wanna hear the whole thing. Please Daddy?”

George sighs, he can’t resist her pleas. “Alright, pumpkin. I guess our story begins on the morning of May 3rd, 1998.”

-

George is sitting on the ground next to Fred’s body, mostly alone. There are groups of people scattered around the Great Hall, some mourning the loss of their loved ones, others waiting for Madam Pomfrey and the other Healers that arrived from St. Mungo’s to help them. Everyone seems to be leaving George alone, allowing him to spend a few more fleeting moments with his twin.

He’s looking down at his hands, tears streaming down his face, so he doesn’t realize that someone has joined him until she speaks.

“Hey, George,” Y/N speaks quietly, voice shaking.

George looks up at the sound of her voice. Y/N is sitting on the ground too, on Fred’s other side, tears streaming down her face. She’s covered in dirt and blood and George can’t imagine that he looks any better.

“Hey, Y/N,” he mutters after he clears his throat. His throat feels raw, probably from a mixture of the crying and the fact that he hadn’t spoken in a few hours.

George watches as Y/N stares intently at Fred’s face, her hand coming up to stroke his cheek. They’re quiet for so long that George jumps slightly when Y/N speaks up.

“It’s been years since anything has happened between us and yet I still feel,” she cuts off abruptly to let out a few sobs.

Y/N begins to cry harder and George places a hand over the one she has placed on Fred’s chest. He squeezes her hand tightly, wishing there was more he could do to make her feel better.

-

“Mummy used to be with Uncle Fred?” Roxanne asks, pulling George out of his thoughts. Roxanne and Fred ii had heard many stories about their dear Uncle Fred from both of their parents and various other family members throughout their lives. But George and Y/N made a point to make sure that no one ever mentioned her past with Fred. Not because she was ashamed at the fact that she had once been with Fred, but because she didn’t want to confuse them.

George nods, blinking away the tears in his eyes. “Many, many years ago, they were together. Back when we were at Hogwarts. Your Uncle Fred and I met your Mum when we were all in our first year at Hogwarts. You know we were all in the same house and played on the Quidditch team together. You’ve heard Uncle Harry talk about the Triwizard tournament, right?” George waits for Roxanne to nod before continuing. “We were all in our sixth year when that happened and there was this great huge ball on Christmas called the Yule Ball. Uncle Fred asked your Mum to be his date, and they dated for a few months afterwards.”

Roxanne purses her lips, thinking about what her father has just said. “And when Uncle Fred died, Mummy still loved him?”

“Not exactly,” he answers.

Roxanne groans and rolls her eyes at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

George rolls his eyes playfully. “Maybe if you hadn’t interrupted my story you would know by now,” he teases.

Roxanne sticks out her tongue playfully but doesn’t say anything else.  

“So, I guess our story continues in June of 1999.”

-

“Hey George. The store looks great,” Y/N speaks, shocking George. He turns around from where he had been stocking a shelf, a smile appearing on his face when he sees the familiar girl standing in front of him.

George hasn’t seen Y/N since the day they cried together over Fred’s body. He heard that she came by his funeral briefly, but he hadn’t seen her himself. Now, a little over a year later here she is, and George can’t help but think how beautiful she is. Her hair frames her face perfectly, and she is smiling warmly at him.

“Hey, Y/N. Thanks, it’s definitely getting there. Not quite back at its prime but, it definitely will be soon,” he says wistfully, looking around the shop.

After Fred’s death he hadn’t been able to step back into the store he had started with his brother. It hurt too much, and it almost felt wrong to go back to work without his partner in crime. The store had always been their dream, and George didn’t think he could carry on without Fred. He spent the first six months after Fred’s death moping around The Burrow, spending most of his time in bed, alone.

Everyone in the family had been patient with him, all of them taking time to grieve as well. Until one night, Molly sat him down and with as much love as possible told him that enough was enough. She had reminded him that Fred wouldn’t want George to throw away their dream just because he couldn’t be there with him. That the best way to honor his brother would be to carry on making their dream a reality. George, realizing his mother was right, had started planning new products that very evening.

He spent the next 5 months after that developing new products and perfecting them. 2 months ago, he finally plucked up the courage to enter the abandoned shop for the first time and started to put it back together. Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes had officially been open again for 2 weeks and running the store has made George the happiest he’s been in months.

“Every time I would come to Diagon Alley I’d check to see if the store was open again, and I’m glad it is. If there’s anything people need these days it’s some Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes,” Y/N says with a laugh.

There had been mass celebrations after Voldemort’s defeat, but so many lives had been lost that they were short lived, and the wizarding community had needed to slowly heal. Things had been getting back to normal, Diagon Alley was just as busy as it had been before, and George could hear happy voices and laughter every time the door to the shop opened.

George chuckles. “A bit of mischief makes everyone feel better. Things have been crazy since I reopened, I can barely keep up on my own.” He gestures towards the shelf he had been restocking when she came in, and the other various shelves that were missing products. “I never realized how much work it was, it was way easier when there was two of us. Between selling the products, making them and stocking them I’m exhausted,” he admits with a small laugh.

“I didn’t want to say it but, you look exhausted,” she teases, smiling at him playfully. “That’s um, kinda why I came in. I mean I obviously came in so I could see you,” she admits, blushing. “But also, I was wondering if you were hiring? I’ve been working freelance for The Daily Prophet but it’s not enough to keep me busy.”

George tries not to let his surprise show on his face. Y/N had always been supportive of George and Fred’s antics, but had never wanted to actively participate. George scratches the back of his head like he’s thinking about her offer, not wanting to seem too eager. “Yeah actually, that would be great. I could really use the help. I’ll have to get some references of course. Make sure you’re not too difficult to work with,” he teases.

Y/N rolls her eyes, playfully shoving George’s shoulder. “We got paired together in potions one-time years ago and you’re still giving me shit about it, Weasley? Unbelievable.”

-

“Mummy used to work with you? Before Uncle Ron did?” Roxanne asks, interrupting the story again.

George hums as he nods. Once Ron quit the Aurors office and came to work with George Y/N had left. Her and George were beginning to start their family, and she wanted to be a stay at home mum. She started writing again as well and had become a pretty successful children’s book author in the wizarding world.

“Yup. Uncle Ron used to work with Uncle Harry at the ministry, before you and your brother were born. So, your Mummy helped out at the shop, and then me and Mummy got married and decided to have your brother, so Uncle Ron decided to quit his job and work with me,” George explains.

Roxanne has a bewildered look on her face, like she had never thought about the fact that all the people she loves had lives before she was born. “So how did you and Mummy get together then? Fall in love?”

George chuckles. “I’m getting there, missy, don’t you worry about it.”

-

Y/N had only been working for George for a few weeks when he realized he had a huge problem. He was developing feelings for her. He had always found her attractive, but when Fred expressed interest in her during their fourth year he pushed those thoughts away. He was always the more reserved twin and doubted that he would ever act on those feelings anyway.

But now that they’ve been spending so much time together and working together so closely he can’t help but feel those things again. She’s just as beautiful has she had been back at school but there was so many other things too.

Her smile was so bright that it could light up the whole shop. She was always there to offer him a warm smile and a helping hand, staying late into the night to help him restock shelves or coming in on the weekends to help make a new stock for the upcoming week. She was always sending him little winks too throughout the day as they worked. While she was upselling a product to someone, or when he just seemed down and needed a pick me up, all he had to do was look over to her and she’d give him a reassuring wink.

And it certainly didn’t help that she was so damn good at her job. She was always helping him to arrange the store in the best way possible, moving around displays and finding new, exciting ways to showcase their range of products. She was so good with the customers too, always able to help someone, their customers always raved to George about how amazing she was as they checked out.

And her touch, it sent electric waves shooting down his spine. Whether it was a reassuring squeeze on his shoulders as he stirred a new potion late at night, or a hand on his back as she passed behind him his brain seemed to short circuit whenever they came in contact with each other.

It didn’t help that her presence had begun to creep into other parts of his life as well. She had only been working there a few days when Molly popped in to see how things were going. His mum had been so excited to see Y/N and invited her to dinner at The Burrow that night; since then it has become a weekly occurrence. He’s bumped into her at The Burrow more than once during the weekends as well, her and Ginny flying around each other and passing a Quaffle back and forth.

“Morning, George!” Y/N calls as she pushes through the shop door.

George jumps at the sound of her voice, not expecting to see her. It’s early on a Sunday morning, and George figured he’d be alone in the shop all day to catch up on the things they hadn’t finished the night before.

George stands up from where he had been kneeling behind the counter, trying to count out the safe, but mostly thinking of the girl who just entered the store. He smiles as she bounds up to the counter.

“What are you doing here? Not that I’m not happy to see you,” he stutters, a blush creeping onto his cheeks. “But you were here late last night, I didn’t think you’d come in today.”

Y/N smiles at George, taking off her bag and placing it on the counter. “Well we didn’t finish everything last night, did we? You’ll actually be able to go out and enjoy your day if we’re both here working.” George gives her a look, prompting her to continue. “Besides I don’t mind being here all the time. I like being here.”

George’s smile fades, figuring that Y/n likes being here so much because it reminds her of Fred. They haven’t talked about that morning, when she had practically declared her love for his dead brother as they both cried, and George doesn’t plan on bringing it up.

He’s brought out of his deep thoughts as she passes by him, her hand brushing his arm and sending electric shocks up to his neck. He clears his throat to try and get rid of the lump in it. “Well thanks, I really appreciate it.”

“It’s no problem! What do you need me to do boss?”

George looks to the to-do list he had made after closing on Friday. Well the to-do list Y/N had made for him; she really was a huge help around the shop. Even if she did distract him from his work from time to time.

“Well looks like the next thing up on the list is,” he pauses, suddenly nervous. “Next thing up is to restock the love potions. But uh, I checked in the back earlier and we’re all out, so you’ll need to brew up a new batch.”

Y/N nods, heading towards the storeroom to grab the needed ingredients. “Yeah I can do that, no problem.” She pokes her head back through the door. “Or are you still hung up on that whole potions thing and don’t trust me?”

George laughs with her, his nervousness melting away at her playful tone. “Just get to work, yeah?”

With Y/N out of sight George is able to get back to work, and he had forgotten that she was there. That was until she interrupted him while he was stocking the shelves, causing him to shout and drop all of the Skiving Snackboxes he had in his arms.

“Bloody hell, Y/N. Forgot you were here,” he says with a nervous laugh, his cheeks tinted pink with embarrassment. He turns to face her, glancing at the cauldron in her hands. “What’s up?”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you Georgie,” she says with a laugh, causing George’s knees to quiver at the nickname. “I haven’t made a potion in ages, let alone Amorentia. Just wanted to see if you could check it? Make sure I did it right.”

“Yea, ‘course,” George says quietly, leaning close to look at the potion. He stirs it with the silver spoon, checking to make sure the consistency is right. He’s a little nervous, leaning in so close to Y/N that he momentarily forgets what Amorentia does. “Forgot to mention, but that new perfume you’ve been wearing smells really good.” Y/N gasps, taking a small step back. George looks up at her. “What?”

“Thanks but um. I’m not wearing any perfume today,” she stutters out, refusing to meet George’s eyes.

George is about to question her, since he definitely just smelled her perfume, when it dawns on him. He wasn’t smelling her perse, but the Amorentia smelled like her to him. And he just admitted that.

“Look, Y/N I. I,” but he trails off, unsure of what to say. He opens his mouth to say something else but is stopped by Y/N stepping close to him and pressing a hard kiss to his lips. It lasts just long enough for George to grip her waist and for Y/N’s hands to tangle in his hair. Just as quickly as she had kissed him her lips were gone and they were just staring at each other.

She opens her mouth to speak, but when nothing comes out she closes it again. And before George knows it she’s rushing towards the counter to grab her bag. “I should go. Yeah I should go. I’ll see you later,” she rambles. And before George can blink again the door is shutting behind her.

-

“So, Mummy kissed you first!” Roxanne says excitedly when George stops talking.

“What? Like it’s surprising?” George scoffs with a chuckle.

Roxanne shrugs her shoulders, playfully smiling at him. “I mean have you seen how pretty Mummy is? And you’re, well you’re alright I guess.”

George can tell that she’s teasing him, and as payback he tickles her sides, causing her to shriek with laughter.

“Shhh,” he whispers, realizing just how late it is. “We don’t want to wake your brother up, or your Mummy.”

Roxanne nods, taking a few deep breaths to settle down. “So, what happens next? You and Mummy kiss and then what?”

-

George is still horrified about what happened the next morning as he opens the shop. He’s exhausted, having stayed up most of the night finishing everything on his list. It shouldn’t have taken him that long, but he kept getting distracted, thinking of how Y/N’s lips felt on his.

He’s about to grab the door handle so he can unlock it and officially open up when the door swings open and Y/N is walking through it. They collide, and George instinctively reaches out and grabs her around the waist so she doesn’t fall to the ground.

A moment later he realizes what he did and he lets go, stepping back. His cheeks are red and he rubs his neck sheepishly. “Sorry! Sorry. I didn’t think you’d come in today so I was just. Sorry, sorry.”

Once he finishes his rambling he turns on his heel and practically runs towards the counter, not even daring to glance at Y/N. But he can hear her footsteps following behind him and when he turns around she’s standing at the counter, an apologetic look on her face.

“I’m the one who should be apologizing to you, Georgie. I shouldn’t have ran out on you like that. And I shouldn’t have kissed you that was… well anyway, I’m sorry,” she says quickly.

George opens his mouth to respond, but the door to the shop swings open and Y/N is off to help the few customers who came in.

“You need help with anything?”

George looks up from the papers on his desk to see Y/N poking her head into his office. They haven’t spoken since their weird moment this morning, and after the afternoon rush George excused himself to his office to work on paperwork while Y/N stocked some shelves and made up a new display. But that must have been hours ago now, as the sliver of shop George can see over Y/N’s head looks dark.

“Just been going over the books. Well trying to at least,” he admits, running a hand through his hair. “I let Fred do it the last time. Well no, I didn’t let him, he insisted on it. Some crap about how he needed to know how to do it. But boy was listening to him a mistake,” he admits with a sad chuckle. “I can’t make out half of what he wrote and the half I can is completely wrong.”

Y/N doesn’t say anything, but gives him a sad look. George feels awkward in the silence, so he continues to ramble on.

“And I wanna be mad at him, for not taking it seriously but. Then I get mad at myself for feeling that way. And then I feel sad because he’s not here for me to just ask him what the hell it says and then I try and figure it out and get mad when I can’t and it’s just a vicious cycle.”

Y/N doesn’t say anything right away, trying to choose her words carefully. She comes into his office and takes a seat at one of the chairs across from George’s desk. George runs his hands through his hair again, silently pleading that she says something. A few more quiet moments pass before Y/N speaks.

“That sounds. Well frankly that sounds like hell. But it’s okay to feel like that, you know. It’s okay to be mad at Fred. It’s okay to feel whatever you want towards Fred, that’s a normal part of grieving, George,” she explains, leaning forward in her chair.

“So, years will go by and I’ll still feel,” George mumbles almost without thinking. He casts his eyes downward, not wanting to look Y/N in the eyes or see the expression on her face.

A pink blush flushes Y/N’s face. “You, um, remember that then? You never mentioned it, so I figured you forgot about it, or maybe never even heard it. I was kinda hoping that you never even heard it.”

George looks up at her then, staring deeply into her eyes. “Is that why you came into the shop that day? Why you started working here? So, you could feel closer to Fred? Is that why you kissed me?” His last question is quieter, practically a whisper. He feels ashamed as soon as he asks, he wants to take it back.

But then Y/N lets out a laugh, shocking George. He looks at her quizzically. “What? Are you laughing at me?”

Y/N shakes her head no, but continues to laugh, almost as if she can’t stop herself. It takes what feels like an eternity for her laughter to die down, and once it does she scoots closer to George, reaching out to touch his hand.

“That day, when we were sitting there in the Great Hall, I wasn’t talking about still feeling love for Fred. I never really loved Fred. Not in that way at least.”

George is taken aback by that. “What do you mean?”

“Georgie, Fred and I dated for like 4 months when we were 16. It was nice to have someone to go to Hogsmeade with or carry my books and it was fun spending time with Fred but I wasn’t in love with him. And Fred knew that, that’s why we broke things off.”

George looks at Y/N. He’s trying not to get his hopes up, but he’s still so confused about everything. “So, what the hell were you talking about that day? Because I sure as hell thought you were talking about still being in love with Fred.”

Y/N bites her lip, dropping her gaze to the floor. “I was talking about feeling guilty, George.”

George suddenly pushes away from his desk, beginning to pace back and forth. “Feeling guilty for what, then?”

“Feeling guilty for being in love with his twin brother!” Y/N admits suddenly, causing George to stop in his tracks.

“Come again?” he asks, looking down at Y/N. His eyes follow her as she stands up and walks over to him.

“I was never in love with Fred. And after we broke up I started to fall in love with you. But I never acted on it because I felt guilty. I knew Fred had strong feelings for me, so I never tried to act on my feelings for you. And that day, when I saw you in the Great Hall, even though it had been years all of those feelings came rushing back. How I felt for you, how guilty I felt for feeling those things. That’s why I came over there that day, because I wanted to see you, make sure you were okay. And I hoped that saying goodbye to Fred would make me feel okay to try and approach you.”

Suddenly it dawns on George. “That’s why you came to his funeral, then? To put those guilty feelings to rest once and for all.”

Y/N nods, taking one of George’s hands in hers. “That’s why I didn’t stay long. The second I saw you I wanted to run into your arms and kiss you. But I figured that was probably not the right time or place to fling myself at you.”

George laughs, trying to imagine what he would have done if Y/N had done that. He uses his free hand to reach up and cup Y/N’s cheek. “So that day you came into the shop, it was to see me?”

Y/N rolls her eyes but nods. “I said that, didn’t I dummy? That I came into the shop to see you. I would make excuses to head to Diagon Alley nearly every day to check to see if the shop was open. It took me two weeks to get the courage to actually walk in once you opened back up. And truth be told-“ she stops, letting her gaze drop to the floor. “I didn’t really need a job. I just wanted an excuse to spend more time with you.”

Suddenly so many things started making sense to George. “So that’s why you would stay in late? Come in on days off?”

Y/N nods. “And why I agreed to come to dinner at The Burrow every week, and why I agreed to help Ginny with her Quidditch training.”

“Not to keep the memory of my dead brother alive?” George asks, almost unable to believe everything he’s heard. Y/N shakes her head. “But to be close to me, because you’re in love with me?”

Instead of nodding Y/N grabs George’s face and brings their lips together in a heated kiss. George is frozen for a moment, his brain trying to catch up with what’s going on. Once it does he kisses Y/N back hungrily, his hands gripping her hips tightly. They kiss for a few moments before Y/N pulls away breathless.

-

“And that was that. Your Mum and I got together and the rest is history.”

George stops with his story, waiting for Roxanne to say something. When she doesn’t he looks down, a smile spreading across his face when he notices her eyes have fluttered closed and she’s breathing slowly. He presses a kiss to her forehead and tucks her blanket around her tighter.

He’s closing her door behind him quietly when he runs into his wife, nearly shouting at the scare she gave him.

“Bloody hell, how long have you been standing there, love?” he asks, wrapping his arms around Y/N’s waist.

“Long enough to hear you spill all of our dark secrets,” she responds with a quiet laugh.

George frowns. “Are you mad? I know we said we wouldn’t tell them, but you know I can’t resist her puppy eyes, just like how I can’t resist yours.”

Y/N doesn’t answer him, choosing to press a kiss to his lips instead. Y/N buries her hands in George’s hair as he deepens their kiss, his hands squeezing her hips tightly. They both can’t help but be reminded of the kiss they shared all those years ago that George had just finished recounting.

“Why did you get out of bed anyway, hm? You were sound asleep when I went to get my water,” George asks a few minutes later when they’re back in bed.

Y/N shrugs, snuggling up into George’s side. “You were gone for ages. Thought maybe you were sneaking some of those chocolate chip cookies I made, wanted to catch you in the act. ”George laughs, throwing an arm around his wife and pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“So, you weren’t lying in bed awake, thinking of my dead brother?” he jokes with a chuckle.

Y/N smacks him on the chest lightly, laughing along with him. “You’re lucky I love you, Weasley.”

“You’re right, my love. I’m the luckiest man in the world.”

[faithinthefuture28]

Larry songs timeline & what it tells us about the evolution of their relationship

**These are all just my interpretations but the more I listen to the music they wrote, the more it all fits together. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THROUGHOUT THE YEARS THEY’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT WRITING “AUTOBIOGRAPHICALLY” AND “FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE”

I deffo missed some songs but these stood out to me:

2013

L-Strong: Love isn’t easy (waves trying to break it) but what we have means something and it’s worth fighting for. read: love is only for the brave (Think of how much love that’s been wasted...there’s nothing i’m running from...i don’t care, I’m not scared of love) And we bring out the best in each other so lets not throw this away (i’d do anything to save it...when i’m not with you i’m weaker). 

H-Happily: I want to fight for us too bc we’re on fire and our love is powerful af. ik we have to do stunts and stuff (and if (s)he feels my traces in your hair, sorry love but I don’t really care) but what we have is insane and fuck everyone else bc you’re MINE and i’m YOURS at the end of the day (i wanna be the one who holds you when you sleep). Together, we’re magic so just be with me so happily

H-Something Great: ****this song is very straightforward so i won’t explain it much***** (i want you here with me like how i pictured it so i dont have to keep imagining... We’re better off together here tonight). Written as a longing for what could be if they dont have to suppress the relationship. (script was written...want to rip it all to shreds) Louis’ response (you’re all I want so much it’s hurting) basically says “it’s not too much to ask babe, i want it too.” This has the kind of longing that ‘wouldn’t it be nice- beach boys’ which Harry has admitted is kind of a theme song. 

L-Through the Dark: I know all this bs we’re going through is taking a toll on you and hurts you and i hate seeing you upset (you tell me that your sad...you tell me that you’re hurt and youre in pain and i can see your head is held in shame...i just wanna see you smile again) but I will do everything physically possible to protect you from any pain bb (i’d never let you fall and break your heart, if u wanna cry or fall apart, i’ll be there to hold ya). We’re going through this together and I will take on any responsibility needed to keep you happy.  I’M WILLING TO GO THROUGH HELL TO FIGHT FOR US HARRY LOVE (entire chorus basically).

L-Better than Words: holy fuck our love is amazing can’t even describe it can i just sing to you foreva love u babycakes

L-Why don’t we go there: what if...we just forgot about the world and escaped and enjoyed each others love and rode the high??? Also sex

2014

L-Ready to Run: *******Followup to Why Don’t We Go There*********** But this time let’s escape for real bc (there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time). Like i’m ready to get out of here and it could just be us living happily ever after (this time i’m ready to run). Honestly nothing else makes sense (without you i’ll never make it out alive...wherever you are is the place i belong). I know what i want out of life and IT’S YOU HARREH (i want to be free and i wanna be yours, i will never look back). 

L-Steal My Girl: all u thirsty hoes find someone else bc Harry is MY pretty princess. Srsly ask his family. But you can still admire how he looks in those jeans. We all do. You know the ones

L-No Control: boy u fine, let’s do what lovers do IN THE MORNING. bc we can. also you own me and i am urs

L-Clouds: WE KNEW THIS WAS GONNA BE HARD SO WHY ARE YOU BEING A LITTLE BITCH (you dont like it complicated...but love is never ever simple...you are tired of all the changes, but love is always always changing). We could be great yo, just keep fighting (if we’re never coming back down, we’ll looking down on the clouds...we go and we go and we dont stop)

H-Where do Broken Hearts Go: IM SORRY LOU BABY YOURE EVERYTHING (rest of my crimes dont come close the look on your face when i let you go... the taste of your lips...is at the top of the list of things i want). H&L’s call and  response at the end is basically forgiveness and acknowledgment (come on baby come and get me out, come on baby cuz i need you now)

H-Two Ghosts: *****was written around this time according to Harry******. This is fucking hard yo. We’re drained and exhausted and idk how much more we can fight for this... (it’s not you and it’s not me...sounds like something that i used to feel). That infatuation and electricity and hope that fueled our younger selves isn’t really there anymore and i’m just tired man (we’re just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty, trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat, we’re not who we used to be...this was all we used to need). We’re empty vessels going through the motions (same eyes blue, couple more tattoos). AND WE AREN’T FUCKING COMMUNICATING (we dont say what we really mean). 

2015

H&L-Perfect: so what if... we get rid of the pressure of forever? What if we just have fun doing the stupid shit we love and makes us feel alive (trouble up in hotel rooms, secret little rendezvous, things you know that we shouldn’t do). Like we won’t be out of each others’ lives, I’m still around and we can find comfort in each other and even mess around here and there (I can be the one you love from time to time). Remember how we used to be young and EXCITED (when i first saw you from across the room, i could tell that you were curious) let’s get that energy back without the responsiblity of an adult relationship. And we can keep making art lmao (if youre looking for someone to write your breakup songs about). 

L-Long Way Down *****this song fkn hurts man. It’s overlooked a lot but shows so much insight**** We were...everything. And maybe that’s the problem? We’ve been through so fucking much, more than anyone our age should have to endure. (We've been in fire, Went down in the flames. We sailed the ocean And drowned in the waves. Built a cathedral But we never prayed) We didn’t know what we had. We were damn kids man. We weren’t prepared for all this. We didn’t know how powerful this would be. We didn’t know what it required of us. (We had a mountain But took it for granted. We had it all yeah. Who could’ve planned it). We didn’t know what to do with it, how to deal with it, so here we are. (We had a spaceship But we couldn't land it) We’re each other’s everything, but we can’t keep going on like this babe. (We found an island But we got stranded). I don’t want to leave you but being together is breaking us down. (Point of no return and now It's just too late to turn around) We thought we were untouchable. That love conquers all. Maybe, we were wrong. This is gonna hurt like a bitch (We built it up so high and now I'm fallin', it’s a long way down)

H-Olivia: I LIVE FOR YOU, I LONG FOR YOU, I LOVE YA. And i think i’ll always love ya. And I’m scared...of life without you (i get the feeling you’re walking out, time is irrelevant when i’ve not been seeing you, the consequences are falling now, there’s something i’m having nightmares about...dont let me go). But maybe just maybe thats okay, because you’re AIMH (you live in my imagination...i love you, it’s all i do). 

L-Love you Goodbye: I fucking love you and I’ll always fucking love you but i think this is the right thing to do even though it feels so wrong (i know there’s nothing i can do to change it, but is there something that can be negotiated?) We made some goddamn fireworks together though (unforgettable together held the whole world in our hands) and do ya maybe think...we can make them just once more? (if tomorrow you wont be mine, let me give it to you one last time, baby let me love you goodbye...one more taste of your lips just to bring me back to the places we’ve been and the nights we’ve had because if this is it, then at least we could end it riiiiight). ********in the interview with our FAVE Gwen Garcia, she asked if it’s better to say goodbye and end a relationship that’s not feeling right or keep trying even if your heart’s not in it. Harry responds with “I think it’s better to say goodbye...but sometimes if youre trying to protect..” Then Louis cuts him off and says “you’re going deep aren’t you”, brushing the question off as a joke but imho i think there was pain in that answer. Then Harry continues “if you’re not 100% in it, I think it’s better for both parties if you say goodbye”. And Louis adds a “yeah” at the end.********

H-Walking in the Wind: I know this is scary but i think we can do it, (you said to me do you believe i’ll be too far? if youre lost just look for me you’ll find me) I think because youre AIMH and i’m always in yours, it’ll be good for us. And look at us being mature, we’re killing it babe. We can live our separate lives and grow on our own. We dont need to make it messy and hurtful. We’re on the same page. (the fact that we can sit right here and say goodbye means we’ve already won. A necessity for apologies between you and me, baby there is none). At this point, we’re kinda part of each other right? So it’s healthy for us to be apart for a bit. (it’s not the end, i’ll see your face again... i know we’ll be alright...just close your eyes and see i’ll be by your side any time you need me). And you’ve helped me grow into the person I am, and I you, so that’s cool as hell, right? (you will find me in places that we’ve never been). We had a TON of fun (we had some good times didnt we) so i feel okay that we’re doing this (goodbyes are bittersweet) and starting the next adventure in our lives. 

H-If I could fly: I. am. yours. Louis. William. Tomlinson. (for your eyes only, i’ll show you my heart). Maybe this growth thing isn’t worth it, let me prove to you how much you mean to me (i think i might give up everything just ask me to). This is gonna be hard as shit because i’m so dependent on you (i’m missing half of me when we’re apart). I’m being honest and I’m being scared and I’m being vulnerable because I can’t lie to you and pretend I’m strong (i let my guard down, right now i’m completely defenseless). But we’re part of each other, right? (i could feel your heart inside of mine). I’ll always be here for you Lou (for when you’re lonely and forget who you are) even if for now we can’t physically be together. 

L-Home: I’ve tried, Harry. I’ve tried to play pretend (told myself i kind of like her but there was something missin in her eyes). But i was lost (i was stumblin, lookin in the dark with an empty heart) because none of it was enough, none of it was YOU (it was there i sawr it in your eyes). And then i met you and you felt the same and we’re both lost souls playing pretend who found magic in each other (but you say you feel the same, could we ever be enough?) Is our love enough to overcome everything? Maybe we can be enough. Maybe I can make this enough, let me try to make it enough for you. And if we go our separate ways, know that I’m here for you no matter what. I won’t let you be lost again. (When you’re lost I’ll find a way and I’ll be your light, you will never feel like you’re alone, I’ll make this feel like home). So go. wander. find yourself. Then when you’re ready, come home. 

 2016-2017

H- Sweet Creature: ***Harry admit that this was the first song he wrote for the album**** We aren’t in the best place rn. We’ve been fighting (had another talk about where it’s going wrong...it’s hard when we argue, we’re both stubborn). But it’s you Louis. It can’t be anyone else. (don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong... wherever I go, you bring me home). That’s not even a question. I’m still trying to figure out who I am, but the one thing I know is that a large part of who I am is you (we started 2 hearts in one home). And aint no way I’m losing that part of myself (when i run out of road, you bring me home). It was always you. 

H-MMITH: Whenever you’re ready, I’m ready (just let me know i’ll be at the door,  hoping you’ll come around). I know I need to work on myself a little more (i gotta get better, and maybe we’ll work it out) but honestly i’m getting impatient and i want things to go back to how they were and i want to be yours again (once you go without it, nothing else would do). But I can’t communicate this to you clearly so let me just put this in a song and hope you get it (we dont talk about it, it’s something we dont do) ****Harry mentioned in an interview that he expresses himself through songwriting when he can’t say the words directly to a person because it’s easier to just write it in a song than have difficult conversations*****

H-ESNY: ****honestly no idea what this song is about but it’s something to do with them fighting and not communicating and being in a weird place before their relationship is rekindled******* edit: this could be about his stepdad

H-FTDT: I MISS YOU AND I’M TOO FULL OF PRIDE TO TELL YOU DIRECTLY JUST COME BACK INTO LIFE LOU I’M LONELY AND SAD AND EMPTY AND IM NOT FUCKING FINDING MYSELF LIKE YOU SAID I WOULD (woke up alone, played with myself where were you...we havent spoke since you went away, why wont you ever say what you wanna say) So until then I sit and wait for your sorry ass to make the first move (maybe one day you’ll call me and tell me that you’re sorry too...but you never do). Also like i have to hear from other people how you are?? (i saw your friend that you know from work, he said that you feel just fine) ANd you’re sharing OUR clothes with people?? wtf just swallow your pride and call me 

L-Miss You: OKAY BUT I CANT JUST CALL YOU BECAUSE I HAVE PRIDE TOO also my mates are trying to make me get over you (now i’m asking my friends how to say I’m sorry, they say lad give it ttime there’s no need to worry, and we can’t even be on the phone now). So i’m just numbing your absence with partying and drinks but CLEARLY ITS NOT WORKING (should be laughing but there’s something wrong...shit maybe i miss you...when i feel it coming up i just throw it all away, get another few shots cuz it doesn’t matter anyway...such a good time, i’ll believe it this time). This is weird bc like you were my everything but im trying to get used to this and it fucking sux (oh how shit changes, we were in love, now we’re strangers). And tbh, its scary af bc what if this is it (i’m asking myself, is it over?). BUT ALSO LIKE WTF U COULD REACH OUT FIRST YA KNOW (i’ve been checking my phone all evening).

H-Anna: wtf Louis how do you not see how much this is killing me. I miss you so much and seeing you on tv or in pics drives me wild bc you’re not mine. (I don’t want your sympathy but you don’t know what you do to me...everytime I see your face there’s only so much I can take...I guess it would be nice if I can touch your body). And idk if you’re replacing me (don’t know where you’re laying, just know it’s not with me) and we’re in SUCH a weird place rn how do I tell u you’re the loml (don’t know what I’d say if I passed you on the street...don’t know what I’d tell you if you asked me for the truth) so I refuse to put this song on the album and let you know this and give you satisfaction from knowing how gone I still am for you bc I have 0 idea how you feel (hope you never see this and know that it’s for you)

L-Always You: SO THIS IS ME SWALLOWING MY PRIDE STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU SAYING IM SORRY FOR THAT NIGHT... ok but fr i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u and nothing else compares like i can travel the whole world and all i think about is how much more fun it was with you and the memories we shared and i wish i could just say thx fr th mmrs and move on but actually no thx actually fuck you for making me not able to enjoy my life without you. So like...come home? and wrap your legs around me? also lmao i took El to a gay bar in amsterdam for her bday lmao i miss u come cuddle me and i’ll tell you all about it

L-We Made It: looks like we made it, look how far we’ve come my baby. They saidd I bett they’ll never make it, but just look at us holding onn, we’re still togetherr, still going stronggg. Also to the fans, miss our single bed and the nights we talked about our dreams :-* also Andrew my man luv u

2018-2019

L-KMM: our love was youthful and exhilarating and fucking electric and i think it still can be. dont know what i’d do without you now H 

L-DLIBYH: We’re strong babe and we’ve grown and we aren’t gonna let life drag us down. I’m doing better, you’re doing better, this is what we wanted. And now any shit we go through, we’ll go through TOGETHER 

L-Too Young: Okay but looking back, that was a lot of shit we went through and we were just babies and i’m sorry for not fighting harder (i cant believe i gave in to the pressure when they said a love like this would never last so i cut you off cuz i didnt know no better) baby i tried, i tried to protect you but like it was just so much and i hate that you got hurt and i wont ever let that happen again. ALso go us for being mature and COMMUNICATING (face to face at the kitchen table, we can finally have a conversation that I wish we could’ve had before). ANd i know you’re an arrogant son of a bitch who can’t admit when he’s sorry so here let ME say i’m sorry that i hurt you darling. Like we were too young to know we had everything BUT now we’re old(er) and can realize that when we’re together, we DO have everything now and omg is this our happily ever after and we can have a daughter and name her Darcy 

L-Habit: do i need to spell it out for you iiiiii aaaaaaaaammmmmmm sssssssoooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy. But tbh i let you go because it felt right because mentally you were already out the door and i needed to give you room to grow babe. And i needed the space too (you gave me the time and the space i was out of control and i’m sorry i let you down). but like also i’ve learned i can’t escape you Styles. You’re always in my fucking heart and my fucking mind and in every essence of my being and somehow I knew that 9 years ago and it took me this long to realize how powerful this really is (guess that that i know what i already knew, i was better with you and i miss you now). Ooooh also my favorite line i wrote (took some time cuz i ran out of energy of playing someone I heard I’m supposed to be and honestly i dont have to choose anymore) like who am i kidding, im done pretending i just wanna be yoursss now

L-Defenseless: I can’t help it okay theres something about you that doesn’t let me stay away. I need you and I know that rekindling this relationship isn’t going to be easy even though it feels so so right. It’s going to be hard work (sleeping on our problems but we’ll solved them in our dreams, wake up early morning and it’s still under the sheets) and we need to communicate and solve our problems but here I am, raw and unfiltered and emotionally naked in front of you ready to lay it all on the table (not sure how to say this right, got so much to lose. NEver been so defenseless). So like this branch I’m reach out to you and you be honest with me too babe (you dont have to keep on being strong for me and you. Acting like you feel no pain, you know i know you do...I can’t get inside, when you’re lost in your pride but you don’t have a thing to prove). Be open with me. Lets talk. Let’s solve problems. Lets have an adult relationship. I’m asking for a little vulnerabiltiy babe. It’s just me. Theres nothing to be scared of

L-Walls: And here you have me in my purest form. No lies, no secrets, no insecurities to hide behind. Losing you was fucking painful but i got through it. I’ve been through hell and back and I’ve fought. And without you, I grew into the person I am. And any further growing i’m doing is gonna be with you. bc it was all for you babe. and honestly i can take anything life throws at me now. I’m strong baby. I’m fucking strong and fucking brave and fucking resilient and...fucking yours. ***** wtf is the I just hope i see you one day and you’ll say to me oh oh********

H-Golden: You are the literal sun and I’m not ready. YOU’RE SUCH A GOOD PERSON (you were way too bright for me, i’m hopeless, broken, so you wait for me in the sky). I’m scared to go through this alone, I need your comfort and your guidance (i can feel you take control of who i am and all i’ve ever known). But you’re scared to go through this with me bc you dont wanna get hurt and i’m too open so where tf does that leave us. ******this could be about coming out especially with the London AND NY secret shows where Harry added the lyric I’m hoping someday you’ll open*******

H-Adore You: You dont have to say you love me, you dont have to say nothing, you dont have to say you’re mine. I’d walk through fire for you. Just let me adore Lou. Like its the only thing I’ll ever do. read: Louis is a great person to just admire what he’s like. ALso I dont need anything back. I just dont want to hide my love for you anymore. I don’t need answers or promises. Just let me adore you. ********the music video is also basically a Louis appreciation post. He was the boy with the smile that the world took away from him. He found Harry lost and loved him and nurtured him and made him confident and allowed him to be who he wanted to be. But in doing so, Harry became big and unsatisfied and wanted to explore the world and was clearly interested in Hollywood and Rockstardom especially evident in his behavior 2014-2015. And Louis wasn’t about that life and didn’t want to hold him back. So he let him free. But they realized that they don’t work apart. Wherever they’re going, they’re going together, as the boy sails into the unknown following the fish. I see it as Harry’s version of “this one is a thank you for what you did for me” ************* I see it, I appreciate it, and I love you for it

H-Lights Up: ****fight with Louis. (What do you mean I’m sorry by the way) About coming out? About fame? (Step into the light, so bright sometimes) Either way, L is the guy driving the motorcycle in the video who makes H feel comfortable and safe until they get pulled over because SOMEONE wont let them love*******

H-Falling: What if i’m out, what if i’m someone you won’t talk about? Okay maybe I lied I do want you to claim me. Would me coming out of the closet make that hard for you? I CAN’T GO THROUGH AN IDENTITY CRISIS WITHOUT YOU LOU. I picked someone supportive and now I’m spoiled and I dont know how to be with myself. You want back in my life but what if I dont deserve it? (you said you cared and you missed me too...what i’m someone i dont want around). What if you’re better off without me? (i get the feeling that you’ll never need me again). I know youve been through so much shit because of me, things you’ve never even told me about and im afraid...that I wasn’t worth it. Am I being selfish? because either way, i want YOU (what if you’re someone i just want around). Does that make me a bad person? 

H-TBSL: ****Probably when they starting talking again but it was v casual and they didn’t really discuss their relationship yet*****. I MISS U BUT I WONT TELL U THAT and its nice to talk to u again i missed your voice but if u call me baby i will kill u bc that word has weight OKAY. Like i know you just call everyone babe and darling and sweetheart but baby is FOR ME and only for me when you wake up with me and cuddle me and if you think you have any right calling me baby without giving the luxury of being in a relationship with you then piss off because that shit hurts dude. (i know that you’re trying to be friends, know that you mean it...it’s hard for me to go home to be so lonely). ALso it’s not my fault i’m like this, you literally captured my heart when i was 16 like wtf do u expect (dont blame me for falling, i was just a little boy)

H-Sunflower Vol. 6: we were babies and i was so enamored by you and you’re so bright and beautiful and i want to watch you all day and make you smile and i want you to touch my hair and call me curly and i hope im not making you uncomfortable with my heart eyes but like how are you so perfect. I hope you think i’m cool, i’m really trying but like you’re SO FUNNY and charming and everyone loves you i hope im not embarassing myself. And now it’s like 8 years later and i think i can have you again and i want you so bad but i dont wanna seem too eager and im trying to have dignity and not text you first but like also i want nothing more than to talk to you. Do you think i’m cool now? did you like my new hairstyle? Do you think i’m funny on tour? I want everything i want to be domestic again and kiss in the kitchen and i want to cook for you and as;ldfa;sdhaf i want to buy you flowers everyday and shower ur cute face with kiss. boopx28 

H-Canyon Moon: Hell yea i got ma man back and i have a girlfriend named Jennifer ;) and we are domestic and even though I HATE being away from him for work (so hard to leave it) we have the 2 week rule yall then i can wrap my legs around him and after so so so long I’ll be h.o.m.e. Also did i tell you his eyes are so so blue like sky who i dont know her

H-TPWK: So we’re really doing this. We don’t need to have it all figured out. We can just be us. and happy. and dance. The world loves us babe. (Giving second chances, I don’t need all the answers and if we’re here long enough we’ll see it’s all for us and we’ll belong)

H-Fine Line: You’ve got my devotion but man I can hate you sometimes....We’ll be a fine line. Between what? love and hate? public and private? out and in the closet? each others’ and ourselves? Idk. But i’m going to swallow my pride (my hands at risk I fold) because no matter what, the worst possible outcome is not having you. And I never wanna go through that again. I know we have work to do on our relationship (spreading you open is the only way I know you). And there’s lot of unknown here (there’s things that we’ll never know) but what i do know is that i cant resist you (you sunshine you temptress) and i cant be without you ever again. I think it’ll be hard as hell. But when have we known love as anything but hard? And when have we known our love as anything but worth it? We’ll be a fine line baby. But i know, i knowww with every part of me that we’ll be alright. Because these past 10 years, we’ve been through A LOT. ANd it could have ruined us and made us cynical and cold and closed off. And I think at one point it did. But you know what we did? We fought it. We fought it together. Then we fought it individually. And we became BRAVE. And a brilliant man once said, “love is only for the brave”. 

[thedevilsmemes]

      PINTEREST QUOTES I USE IN MY MUSINGS BOARDS                         ~ A SENTENCE MEME - PART 2

                         Change pronouns as / when needed to preferred pronoun.

“I do not do justice, I do damage. I do not do empathy, I do damage. I do not do forgiveness, I do damage. I do not do mercy, I do damage.”

“Like, you can boss me around in sexual situations but you better not try to tell me what to do in regular life.”

“I’m fine, I’ve had worse.”

“I’m meaner than my demons.”

“If I cannot bend Heaven, I will raise Hell.”

“Well, aren’t you a little ray of pitch black?”

“He was like a storm.”

“You want to play dirty? Fine, let’s play dirty!”

{ feels an emotion. } “Who the fuck authorised this?!”

“What the fuck? What the fuck is this? What the fuck?”

“Judge if you want. We are all going to die. I intend to deserve it.”

“Goddamn right you should be scared of me.”

“They wanted a monster; I decided to give them one.”

“Seduce and destroy.”

“What the fuck is intimacy? How does that work? Letting… people be close to you? What the fuck?”

“You couldn’t kill me if you tried for one hundred years.”

“I’ll do this my way.”

“I am severely emotionally unstable.”

“What, from the bottom of the heart, the fuck?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t take any orders. I barely take suggestions.”

“I send my best regards from Hell.”

“I like my coffee how I like myself: Dark, bitter and too hot for you.”

“Me and God, we don’t get along.”

“Be brave, Angel.”

“Self care is drinking three pots of coffee and getting into a knife fight with God.”

{ takes gulp of vodka straight from the bottle } “My day was fine.”

“Have I stabbed you? No. Then I am being nice.”

“Holy Shit! I’M the demon living in my house.”

“Sir, that’s my emotional support knife collection.”

“I want an ancient elaborate dagger with my name engraved into the blade as a gift. The only romantic gesture.”

“ ‘Are you a top or a bottom?’ I'm a threat!”

“Stop being so defensive! I’m just trying to hit you with weapons.”

“The more knives you have the more valid you are.”

“She’s strong but she’s exhausted.”

“She loves moonlight and rainstorms and so many other things that have soul.”

“My darling, you can’t see it can you? How like the moon you are. Both of you so timid in yourselves; hiding pieces from the world. Then, there are those rare moments when you are both full, and it becomes hard to look away. You are beautiful.”

“Calm her chaos but never silence her storm.”

“She wears strength and darkness equally well. That girl has always been half Goddess, half Hell.”

“She has been through Hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into the fire and smiles.”

“She’s proof that you can walk through Hell and still be an angel.”

“She is both hellfire and holy water. And the flavour you taste depends on how you treat her.”

“Even the mountains can not hold all you have been carrying.”

“Storm with skin.”

“She’s thunderstorms”

“Kindness is a language that the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”

“Sometimes it takes only one act of kindness and caring to change a person’s life.”

“You have a heart of gold.”

“Butterflies are the Heaven-sent kisses of an angel.”

“She who is brave is free.”

“Clever as the Devil and twice as pretty.”

“Shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick.”

“Girls who run in heels should be feared.”

“Family is everything to me.”

“She’s an old soul that believes in chivalry, romance, and love.”

“I hate getting flashbacks from things I don’t want to remember.”

“I run on coffee and grace.”

“I’m glad I’ve got boobs… the last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.”

“Tell me to put on my big girl panties one more time… and I’ll take off my thong and strangle you with it!”

“Please read all my posts in a sarcastic tone. You know, for full effect.”

“I have one nerve left and you’re dry-humping it, go away.”

“If I offend you, cry me a river. I’ll bring snacks and a raft. I will literally float down your tears, eating chips and working on my tan.”

“When she is happy, she can’t stop talking. When she is sad, she doesn’t say a word.”

“Music becomes my best friend when nobody else understands me.”

“Act like a lady, think like a boss.”

“I know I have friends but I feel I have no one to talk to about the shit that goes on in my head.”

“She was special. She combined a mean angel and a kind devil.”

“So much pain for someone so young.”

“She’s one of a kind.”

“Red lips and wine sips.”

“Brave girl, it’s time to love again.”

“She is intelligent.”

“Sometimes, when I say ‘I’m okay.’ I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight, and say, ‘I know you’re not.’ ”

“Because I’m not the kind of girl guys fall in love with.”

“I fear I will spend my life, waiting for a love story that doesn’t exist.”

“You’re a woman, use it; bring every man you meet to his motherfucking knees.”

“She denies it but, the truth is, she’s falling in love with him.”

“Hearing your heels click on the floor sounds like power.”

“She loves deeply, regardless of the love she gets back in return and it’s both her biggest strength and biggest weakness…”

“Experience raised her. Hurt taught her. Neither defined her.”

“She was not fragile like a flower was, she was fragile like a bomb.”

“Life is short; make every hair flip count.”

“I’ve always been someone who looks ‘too deep’ into something or someone. That’s because I realised from a young age that there’s always more than what meets the eye.”

“If I say ‘first of all’ Run away because I have prepared research, data, charts, and will destroy you.”

“Underestimate me, that’ll be fun.”

“You think I’m sarcastic? You should hear what I don’t say!”

“She’s a combination of sensitive and savage.”

“Stay classy, sassy and a bit bad assy.”

“She’s battling things her smile will never tell you about.”

 “Ain't you ever seen a princess be a bad bitch?”

“I was told I was dangerous… I asked why? They said ‘because you don’t need anyone.’ That’s when I smiled.”

“She’s been through hell and came out an angel. You didn’t break her darling, you don’t own that kind of power.”

“Watch me. I will go to my own sun and, if I am burned by the flames, I will fly on scorched wings.”

“Her messy hair is a visible attribute to her stubborn spirit. As she shakes it free, she smiles, knowing wild is her favourite colour.”

“She’s strong. But in the back of her mind she doesn’t think that she was meant to be this strong for this long. And she wonders if there is a man out there, somewhere, who understands this.”

“She’s not for everyone and she knows it. People find her different and strange. She dances in the rain, she laughs when she cries and loves through her pain. People fear the unknown and they never knew a girl like her.”

“Don’t tell a girl with fire in her veins and hurricane bones what she should and shouldn’t do. In the blink of an eye, she will shatter that ridiculous cage you attempt to build around her beautiful bohemian spirit.”

“You provoke her until she roars and then get upset at her for becoming the monster you created.”

“Rip out his ego with your fresh nails.”

“She isn’t the sunrise; she’s the fucking sun.”

“You can’t touch a woman who can wear pain like the grandest of diamonds around her neck.”

“Watch your tongue around her. She will bear her fangs and tear you apart with all the grace of a Queen.” 

“If you won’t embrace her madness, then you’ll never taste her magic.”

“Beauty may be dangerous but intelligence is lethal.”

“She is water. Powerful enough to drown you, soft enough to cleanse you, deep enough to save you.”

“Heavy is the crown and yet she wears it as if it were a feather. There is strength in her heart, determination in her eyes and the will to survive resides within her soul.”

“I wish that I could say that I am a light that never goes out, but I flicker from time to time.”

“Spoil me with loyalty. I can finance myself.”

“Shoutout to all the people with brown hair and brown eyes! We basic as fuck but we cute!”

“I feel a nap coming on.”

“Is horny an emotion?”

“I just really like thigh-highs.”

“Even though she looks innocent, she is really a perverted demon.”

“She didn’t sob or wail. Her pain was horribly discreet but as persistent and almost as silent as bleeding from an unstitched wound.”

“I don’t rise from the ashes, I make them. I’m the whole fucking fire.”

“Beautiful but destructive.”

“I’m aiming for the ‘she’s a badass and cute as hell but I wouldn’t touch her without asking’ look.”

“Loving me must be so fucking hard and I’m so sorry.”

“Some women are lost in the fire. Some women are built from it.”

“You glow differently when you’re actually happy.”

“She’s magic, that one.”

“Kicked out of Hell.”

“Red hair: the crown you never take off.”

“You’ve got a fire inside.”

“She doesn’t need a warrior, she is one. What she needs is a devout heart, and strong arms to hold her after her battles are won.”

“You are the love that came without warning: You had my heart before I could say no.”

“You want battle? I’ll give you war.”

“True evil is, above all things, seductive.”

“The Devil’s got nothing on me, my friend.”

“Haven’t I fallen far enough?”

“I’m not like them, but I can pretend.”

“I don’t like being told what to do.”

“Now I grow wings and rage, and learn how to kill.”

“Life is tough, my darling, but so are you.”

“Though she be little, she be fierce.”

“I know what this is; It’s just myself, talking to myself, about myself.”

“You underestimate my power.”

[achaoticeternal]

THIS IS ME TRYING

AVENGERS X READER (tony stark x daughter!reader, platonic peter parker x reader) masterlist // taglist

Request: @big-galaxy-chaos​ “Hey so I see that you also need requests as much as I do 😚 so here is mine! So it's Peter x stark!reader angst. Where Tony is afraid of becoming like his father but in reality, he is worst than him. He favors Peter more than her. Even though she is smarter than her own father, and won tons of awards and shit. Tony doesn't realize what he lost until the reader is gone. Btw the relationship between the reader and Peter is platonic! Also, everyone is oblivious to how she is feeling. Just pure angst”

Summary: Dads and daughters are supposed to have a beautiful relationship. But you could never be the song he always wanted. Word Count: 2.5K A/N: Based on the song this is me trying by Taylor Swift. Reader and Peter are both 18+; takes place after Thanos and Tony lives. Warnings: Heavy angst, cursing, self destructive behaviors, mentions death

“Mr. Stark, I’ve been working on the chemical formula of my webbing and I’m pretty sure that I’ve completely perfected it,” Peter talked while walking with your father to the lab.

“That’s great because I’ve been working on your web-shooters. Now, they can shoot up to 200 yards in length and the error rate of them getting jammed is less than one percent.”

Tony rested a hand on the boy’s shoulder as they left the room together. Neither of them acknowledges you on the couch, reading another novel involving quantum physics. But you’re used to the cold shoulder your father has given you since he first met Peter Parker. You’re used to the way he’s turned you away all your life, justifying his choice by saying he’s protecting you. 

You knew that he feared to become his father. Pepper explained that to you when you were a child and you couldn’t leave your room until Tony’s lady of the night let. Or as you and Pepper called it at the time “taking out the trash”. 

Maybe that was when you became more interested in the mathematics and science you found in the book and the workshop over good ole bonding time with dear old dad. If he wanted to neglect the time and opportunity to raise you, you would at least make sure to put his money and name to good use for your own personal benefit. And in the back of your mind, you knew that part of you was doing this to earn the attention and love you desired from your father.

Tony just saw it as taking an early interest in your future. So he didn’t stop you when you preferred to sit with tutors over playdates, draw out designs for engines and inventions instead of scribbling in coloring books, or even reading through scientific theories over watching Disney movies. He didn’t think it was strange, because that’s what he did at your age. Hell, by the time you were 10 you had won three first-place national science fair ribbons, third place in the national spelling bee, and began developing a prototype to turn the emissions from cars back into breathable oxygen. 

Everyone noticed your brain, and how much you had achieved now at 18 years old. You held 2 Bachelor’s in Mechanical Engineering and Organic Chemistry from MIT and a Master’s in Astrophysics from Georgia Tech. And you were now planning out when you wanted to go to Law school and earn your doctorate. But you were living at the compound now, taking a gap year.

When you went away for school, you learned from others how normal life was for everyone else. You met kids who were the first in their family to go to college or were looking for opportunities outside of the small towns they came from. When you came home from your second semester at MIT, you told Tony about all this and he created the September Foundation in order to fund the projects and inventions those kids were creating. It was another punch in the gut to you, because you realized that you would never be enough for Tony.

If you were enough, he would have passed the mantle of Iron Man onto someone else after he almost lost you and Pepper to the Mandarin. If you were enough, he wouldn’t have enlisted Peter to help him in his fight against Captain America. If you were enough, he wouldn’t have gone into space for a final fight. If you were enough, Morgan wouldn’t be in the other room watching cartoons. And if Tony acknowledged you, just even a little but, maybe you wouldn’t be trying so hard to impress him and the world.

“Ms. Stark, your package has arrived. Shall I send it over to the labs?” F.R.I.D.A.Y echoed into the room.

“No, send it over to my personal workshop. In fact, send all of TS-2008 to my personal workshop.”

“Of course, miss.”

“Oh, and F.R.I.D.A.Y?”

“Yes, miss?”

“Please stop referring to me as ‘Ms. Stark’, (Y/N) is fine.”

“Alright, CASS, reboot the system diagnostics and run test C-24,” you yawned as you asked your personal AI system. The personal AI system you built for yourself, bu yourself - no help from Tony at all. 

“Systems are checked out, shall I launch the test?”

“Go for it,” you groaned and took to Advil for your poundingheadachee. It was now two in the morning after another long night of coding, calibrating, testing, and perfecting the project you’ve been working on the past two years. 

When you were younger, you tried to replicate the Iron Man suit, but your father quickly discovered the helmet and nearly perfected arc reactor you’d created in his lab. He trashed all of it and told you never to attempt to create the suit again. He said you were better than that, that you had more potential than pretending to be a superhero. You realized as you grew older that he didn’t care if you were trying to become a hero or not; but that you were copying his work. His precious Iron Man that he took months to perfect only took a week for his child to solve.

Dear old dad couldn’t let you have things the easy way. So instead after SHIELD fell and Tony began working to finish wiping out HYDRA, you began working on your own original model suit. Now it was almost ready to showcase to the world. 

“Test C-24:successful. Shall I continue to run diagnostics to watch the processing and reaction time of TS-2008?”

“Yes, CASS. Run virtual simulations L-29, O-400, and T-38. Let me know when the trials have finished running and whether or not they were successful or not.”

“Yes, Ms. (Y/N),”

You pushed away from your desk and left your workshop. Before you knew it, you were in the kitchen pouring yourself another cup of coffee. You had been through 3 pots already tonight and no one noticed. Guess that was the nice thing about being Tony’s kid. Everyone else acknowledge your accomplishments and paid no mind to your destructive tendencies. In fact, maybe you’d celebrate tonight and snag a bottle of champagne from the extravagant wine fridge next to the dishwasher. You’d done it plenty of nights before when you wanted to drown out and numb the pain in your heart.

“(Y/N)? Why are you awake? And why are you holding a bottle of champagne?”

Ah, Peter... of course he would be spending the weekend at the compound. It’s not likely he has a perfectly good and happy home back in Queens with a guardian who loves him very much and would give the world to him. Guess that’s something May and your Father. 

“Hello, Perfect Parker”

“You know I’ve never understood why you call me that, it doesn’t make sense.”

“Of course it doesn’t make sense from your end of the looking glass.Why are you up?” You tried so hard not scowl or be too rude. Peter had tattled to TOny before about you having a ‘bad attitude’ towards him.

“I believe I asked you that first.”

“That you did, but if you want an answer out of me, you’ll have to answer first.”

“I couldn’t sleep. thought I would get myself a glass of water. You?”

“I’m getting wasted, just like all my potential,” You faked a smile and started peeling the gold wrapping off of the cork of the bottle.

“Don’t say that, everyone knows how talented and brilliant you are,” He sighed while grabbing himself a glass and walking over to the fridge, “You’re a Stark”

“Tell that to Dad, because you’ll always be more of a Stark than I’ll ever be,” You huffed as you pulled a corkscrew out of a drawer near you.

“That doesn’t make any sense, (Y/N), are you sure you haven’t been drinking already? Because you sound delirious. Maybe you should spend some time outside of your bedroom, maybe even get out of the compound. When was the last time you left to go somewhere?”

“Thanks for the concern Parker, but I’ve been able to hold my own for at least fifteen years now. And I know I don’t leave here a lot because I don’t have the opportunity too. If there’s a private event, either Pepper attends with Tony or Spider-man makes an appearance with Iron Man. I’m just surprised that there aren’t rumors across the media wondering ‘Is Spider-Man the lost of the Iron Man, Tony Stark?” You waved your hand in the air to match the dramatic tone.

“Haha, you’re so funny,” He took a sip out of your water, “People know you exist”

“Yeah, maybe if they do a quick Google shirt. But I’m not offended, I know that I just live in your shadow. But I’m used to it,” Your poured the alcohol into a glass and began to sip from it, relief flooding through you.

“Okay , I get it. You’re just in another one of your dramatic moods, maybe you should just go to bed before you say or do something stupid,” he took a step towards you.

“Don’t I always?”

“Always what?”

“Say or do something stupid?”

He halted and shook his head, “That’s not what I meant, (Y/N), I-”

“No, that’s exactly what you meant, Parker,” You brushed past him and stormed into the living room, “You don’t understand how lucky you are.”

He came stomping after you, “Oh, so you’re feeling brave, huh? Well you just sound like an idiot. I’m not just some lucky kid! I’ve lost my parents, my Uncle was killed in front of my face, and I disappeared from existence! The only people who care for me are Aunt May and Tony.”

You turned to face him, face completely red, tears threatening to spill, “Well at least you have Tony, because I don’t! I’ve just run around all my life trying to be perfect, be easy for him to deal with, live up to his and everybody's expectations! But I’m not good enough, I’ve never been good enough, and I’ll never be good enough. I’m just Tony Stark’s bastard child who built herself from the ground up without the slightest bit of help from her father!”

“(Y/N)...”

“No, don’t you ‘(Y/N)’ me. You’ve gotten everything you wanted from my father since day one. I never had that. You didn’t have to work to really make your own suite, you didn’t have to endure a lifetime of pain because of his arrogant ass, YOU didn’t have to wonder where Tony was on your graduation day for MIT - his alma mater - because he attended your fucking high school graduation instead!”

“What the hell is going on?” Tony yelled from the opposite end of the room. Pepper stood behind him and you could hear other door creaking open to here the events down the hall, “Not only are you two fighting in the living room and woke up half the compound, but you woke up Morgan and now she’s crying in her room because you two are screaming at each other.”

“Well boo-fucking-hoo, poor Morgan woke up in the middle of the night,” you mumbled to yourself.

“I just came to get a glass of water,” Peter attempted to defend himself.

And from Tony and Pepper’s angle, he did look to be more innocent. He had a glass of water in his hand and was completely cool. While you stood opposite of him; a bottle of booze in one had, dark circles under your eyes, a tear stained face, and looking to be in a mad frenzy.

“(Y/N), explain yourself,” Tony spoke sternly.

You took a deep breath in and wiped away fresh tears with your sleeve, “No, I don’t have to.”

“Excuse me,” your father marched across the room, “I don’t know what’s gotten into you tonight but-”

“What’s gotten into me? Do you even listen to the bullshit that comes out of your mouth? No, of course you do, because you like listening to yourself talk more than you’ll listen to me. So talking to you is as fucking useless as talking to a deaf man!”

Peter and Tony now stood stunned at you and your sudden tantrum, but you knew it had been coming, you had always known. You knew one day you were going to explode, and it just happened to be tonight.

“I get it, I’m not precious Peter, or your beautiful Morgan. I’m just your bastard child from some broad you met on Malibu Beach. Even though I’m just a kid, I’ve always been your competition, a threat to you and your name. And even after every nearly life-ending event, I thought things would change - that you’d finally love me. But that never happened not even after Extremis infected not just Pepper’s body, but my own! And now I’m dying, I’m fucking dying, dad. I’m running out of time and trying to do everything I can. I go to school and get these diplomas and certificates to impress you. I invent and build thing to get your attention. I do it all because I still desire your validation and I’m running out of time,” you fall to your knees, everything becoming to much, “this is me trying, just like I have been all my life- but it’s still not enough.”

The room went silent. Only sobs echoed around the room as champagne poured out the bottle, staining the carpet. Neither Tony or Peter knew what to say or what to do. How could they begin to comfort the crying girl on the floor, or fix everything that ha occured over a lifetime.

Tony finally knelt down, “(Y/N), you know I never meant for any of this to happen, for you to ever feel like this. I’ve always been so scared of becoming your grandfather... I thought I was doing right by never pushing you, I guess it just never clicked.”

“Oh yeah, is that why you pushed me away and found Peter? And then when you realized you had messed up and forgot about your first daughter, you had another one in order to make things up?” You raised to head and shoulder up first, then finally rose back onto your two feet, “well congratulations, you’re worse than Howard Stark. And I hope you’re proud, Dad.”

With that, you left the living room. You couldn’t deal with in anymore that night, maybe ever again. Because when Tony came to check on you the next morning, you were missing. Only a note by your bedside remained as the only proof you had even lived in the room.

I didn't know if you'd care if I came back I have a lot of regrets about that Pulled the car off the road to the lookout Could've followed my fears all the way down And maybe I don't quite know what to say But I'm here in your doorway I just wanted you to know that this is me trying

if you would like to request a work, click here

to join my taglist, click the link at the top of the post

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Californian Dream (Pt. 05 of 11)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 3 K

Summary: Being part of one of the richest families of California doesn't mean you're happy. Your life is boring, and you're surrounded by meaningless people and their meaningless talk. Even during Summer, with the break you have from college, there's nothing good going on. Nothing but the new pool guy, Billy, the most handsome man you ever saw. You were successfully avoiding him, not wanting to act like an idiot in front of the guy until Billy accepts to be your date for a fancy gala you're forced to attend. The night was going well, even better when he sneaked you out to go to the beach. But a gang of criminals breaks into the party, kidnapping the heirs to the wealthiest families, which includes you. So, for your safety, your parents want you to stay with Billy, living in his apartment until the criminals are caught. And that could take weeks, maybe even months.

Warnings: Light violence

<- Previous part (04)

Next part (06) ->

{Stranger Things Masterlist}

{Dacre Montgomery Masterlist}

×

Rebel

On the next morning, you're still feeling a little anxious, afraid of what he said last night was just to keep you from moving out. But, since you were sleeping on the couch, you woke up just when he was leaving for work, and you were so relieved when he didn't just say ‘good morning’ and left. He asked if you slept well, and said that you can try and sleep a little more on the bed now. It's just a little thing, but it's different from before. And you hope it lasts. You also got the chance to tell him not to bring anything for dinner. He has been spending too much money with that, so you told him you'd cook something yourself.

And that's what you doing now. The chicken breasts are in the oven, almost ready and you focus on finishing the potato salad, adding mayo, a drizzle of olive oil, and seasoning it, mixing everything together. You're happy with what you could come up with, and it did help you pass the time since there's nothing to do here other then watch the news, and that only makes you anxious. After checking the chicken once again, you sit on the table, pinning your hair up on a ponytail, and that's when Billy comes back, your eyes immediately finding him on the door as he closes it shut.

“Hey.” You mumble, running your fingers through the ponytail. For the first time, you notice the uniform he has to use. A nice, black polo shirt with the logo of the company on the left side. On all of those days, you were avoiding looking at him, since he seemed like he didn't want anything to do with you. “You look like such a good boy in this shirt.” You know he doesn't usually wear stuff like that. Billy doesn't know it, but you went through his wardrobe a couple of times, and there is nothing like that that shirt in it.

“That's company policy.” He sounds a little annoyed, and you can tell he doesn't like to wear it. “It smells nice in here. What are you doing?”

“Lemon roasted chicken with potato salad.” You gesture at the oven. “It's almost done.”

“You... Can cook?” Furrowing his eyebrows, Billy comes near the table, giving the oven a look. “Like, actually cook?”

You get what he means. The girls don't usually know how to cook since they'll always have someone to do that for them. “Well, in my house, my parents always choose what we'll have for the meals. So I figured out if I wanted something different, I'd have to cook it myself.” Shrugging your shoulders, you stand up to check the oven again. “So Amelia taught me everything I know.”

“You're a box full of surprises,” Billy mutters, so low it makes you wonder if he wanted you to hear it. “I'll shower. If you wait we can eat together.”

“If it's not in an uncomfortable silence, I'll accept the invitation.” Leaning on the countertop, you give him a look.

“Good.” He stands there for a few seconds before moving away, and you can't help but try to understand why he always does that. It feels like he wants to say something, but he never does.

You patiently wait, and when he comes back, hair still damp, you both serve yourselves and take the usual seats on the table, across from each other. Billy takes a look at his place and squints his eyes, right before staring at you. “(Y/N)?”

“Huh?”

“Where did you get these peas?”

You didn't think he'd notice. “Uhm... There's a nice grocery store just around the corner.” It sounds like a question, but before he can say anything you raise a hand. “I know, I know. But I do look different and I borrowed your sunglasses just to be sure. I didn't speak to anyone... Well, I did chat with this old lady, but that was it.”

“You gotta be careful. I know it's far from your neighborhood, but even so.”

“I was careful, I just... It sucks being in here all day doing absolutely nothing.” You didn't want to rant about it, but it just comes out. “And, inevitably, I will watch the news channel.” Then, you're not hungry anymore... Despite skipping lunch again.

“Did they find anything yet?” Silently, you just shake your head no, deciding to push the food in, even though the heavy sensation on your stomach. “Sorry.”

“Don't apologize, it's not your fault.”

Then the silence hits again, and it goes on for way too long for your taste, a leg bouncing nervously. “It's really good, by the way. Much better than what I can come up with.”

“Thanks,” you mutter with a smile.

“I've been meaning to tell you. I usually go to the gym with some friends a couple of times a week. I've been coming straight back because–”

“No, no. Please, go. I don't want to mess with your routine. More than I already did.” Reassuring him, you feel relieved when he nods. “Oh, you mentioned something about college. What do you study?”

“Marine Biology.”

“That's so cool.” You exclaim, imagining what Billy could work with. California has a lot of opportunities for marine biologists. “I bet it's amazing.”

“It is. What about you?”

“It's not that cool.” Warning him, you can't help but feel bored just to think about it. “Law. At Cali's Elite Academy, obviously.”

“It doesn't sound like you enjoy it very much.”

“I don't.”

“Then why do you do it?” As he speaks, Billy moves to the fridge, muttering something when he opens it. And you know why. “You also bought soda.”

“Yup.” Turning towards him, you take the can he offers you, cracking it open and taking a sip. “You know why I do it. Mom wanted me to, father is a lawyer already, so you get the picture.”

“I hope to be around on the day you decide you had enough of this shit and rebel against everyone who tells you what to do,” Billy says as he goes back to his chair, his eyes focused on you. Sometimes it feels his eyes can see right through you, even the parts you try to hide from yourself. The places you rather keep secret, locked deep inside. He also brings to life things you didn't even know existed. A true need to break free from everything you can't take anymore, everything that has been drowning you, suffocating you.

“Maybe it won't happen.” You burst out, pushing your plate away, still half full. “You said it yourself on the night I came here. I'll probably just slip into anything my mother wants me to do and be as frustrated as she is. With nothing in life but some millions in the bank.” There's a lump in your throat, a cry you're holding back. You don't want to be like your mother. Or like anyone else from her circle. But would you be able to shake this away? You're so used to doing this, avoiding conflicts and being the good, obedient daughter... Could you be more?

“Don't you remember what you said after?” Billy leans forward, elbows on the table, those ocean blue eyes burning through your skin. “That you'd leave California before she forced you into being another stupid girl pushed into a loveless marriage just to add up to the family's fortune.”

“I remember.” Whispering, you look down at your hands, hoping he can't see your teary eyes. “I get brave when I'm sleepy, that's why I say those things but... I'm not sure I'd be brave enough to just leave like that.”

“I came back here a year ago. My father forced me to move to Hawkins, Indiana, a dipshit small town that I hated more than anything.” His words and the weight behind them makes you raise your eyes again, meeting his stare. Billy never told you anything about his past, and you want to hear it. “I have no good memories of that place, and the moment I turned eighteen and got my High School diploma, I got into my car and left.” There's power in him, courage. You know there's more to the story, but you won't push him into sharing it if he doesn't want to. But you can picture it, Billy running away from somewhere he hated, hitting the road and leaving it all behind. You're mesmerized by it, you're not sure why. “And I came back here. I came back home.”

“California never felt like home to me.” That you remember saying. “I... I really wish I had a place where I could feel–”

“Free?” Billy finishes off for you, and you nod. “I don't think California is the problem. I think–”

“Me. I'm the problem.” Crossing your arms, you sigh. You have no idea why you're telling him all this, or how he so skillfully stormed through your walls, but you feel like Billy is the only person who can understand. Who won't think you're stupid or crazy. “I feel so... Lonely and desolated, even when I'm in my bedroom. I feel better when I'm at the beach, all alone than when I'm in the comfort of my bed. I know it's insane, but it just... It's just what it is. Of course I wish I could run away like you, but maybe I can't.”

“It's not from California you have to run away, it's from this person you pretend to be just to please everyone.” Billy stands up, taking both your plates and moving to the sink. But you stay there, motionless, thinking how you could do that.

“Tell me how and I'll do it.”

“Be the girl you were at the party.” He says, and you decide to stand up as well to help him with the dishes... But also because you want to be near him as if he's the only one who could help you do this. What exactly, you don't know. But Billy was brave enough to do something you wish you could. “The girl who doesn't care if her company is just the pool guy, who doesn't care if she almost hits a waiter, and doesn't mind having to suck some chocolate off her thumb.” Billy glances at you, and you start taking the dishes and drying them with a dishcloth. “The girl who ran from a very important beneficial gala and was very happy about it.”

“Yeah, but if you weren't there, I would never do that.”

“I might have given you a little push, but you made the decision.”

You'd never take Billy for the guy who would say these things. By what people told you about his behavior, you'd never think he'd be this... Kind. “Are you always this nice with girls?” Trying to light up the mood after the emotional conversation, you ask him, chuckling.

“No, I'm not.” He passes you the last fork, and you dry it and put it on the drawer. “Definitely not.”

“I get it.” Lying the dishcloth down, you shrug your shoulders. “Guess some girls like the bad boy.”

Billy giggles, taking the dishcloth to dry his hands. “What about you? Good boy or bad boy?”

“A guy like you would be nice.” Wait. What? It takes a couple of seconds for you to process what you just said, and what it means. “Uhm... I'll... I'll organize some of my stuff.” You quickly manage to say, turning your back at him and leaving the kitchen.

When you reach the bedroom, you shut the door behind your back, wondering what the hell just happened to you. It's completely out of question to start liking Billy. You're literally living with him for who knows how long, it would complicate things to such a high level that you would really have to move out. You're already too lucky he doesn't bring girls here, but out there... Suddenly, the names Gisele gave you start flashing through your mind, and you groan, throwing yourself on the bed.

“Don't be stupid.” You mutter, pulling the sheets over your head and expecting a calm, dreamless night.

• • •

Before, you were anxious. Worried. Now, you're just angry. Another week has passed, and nobody knows anything. A bunch of people were abducted, in huge black vans, and nobody knows where they went. It's plain stupid by now. You're already up when Billy opens the bedroom door to shower and change for the day, and you move to the living room, putting on the news channel again and letting yourself fall on the couch. The boredom won't help either. Besides going to the grocery store, you're locked in here, doing absolutely nothing other than housework.

You're by the window when Billy comes out, already in the company uniform. Turning around with your arms crossed, you stare at him. “We gotta talk because I'm losing my mind.”

“Does it has to be now? Because if I don't leave in five minutes I'll be late.”

Then, the best idea you ever had in days comes to your mind. “Take me with you.”

“What?” He bursts out, eyebrows furrowed.

“Take me with you. Where are you going today?”

“William's. The mansion by the cliff.”

“They don't know me very much, my parents hate them. Please, take me with you. I can't stand being in here all day.” Walking over him, you grab his hand. “C'mon, Billy. I can help with something.”

“I don't think it's a good idea.” He looks down at you, a thoughtful expression on his face. “If anyone recognizes you it could be dangerous. Everyone thinks you were taken too.”

“See? Nobody will hope to see me hanging around.”

“(Y/N)...”

“I swear to God if you don't take me I'll head to the beach and stay there until sunset.” It wasn't a plan, but now it is. Stepping back, with both your hands on your hips, you wait for Billy's reaction.

“Is it a threat?”

“I don't make threats, only promises.” Shrugging your shoulders, you cross your arms. “So?”

“You have three minutes to change out of these sweatpants.” He's still speaking when you're moving, quickly taking your pj's off and putting the first thing you find. Short jeans and a black T-shirt that's a little bit similar to Billy's. Not so much, but it's the best you can do.

When you're back in the living room, dramatically putting Billy's sunglasses on, you rush through the door when he opens it, more than eager to spend the day somewhere other than in the apartment.

And, as if on purpose, Billy takes one of the most beautiful roads of California. At least in your opinion. On your side, you can see the ocean, and since the waves here are more violent, the beach is empty, except for some surfers. Billy has the windows open, and the wind messes with your hair. But you like it. Closing your eyes, you stretch your arm out, feeling the wind brushing in between your fingers. Maybe it's the speed, or the daylight, or the fact that you're finally outside after weeks of confinement. Maybe it's the company... But this feels good. Almost overwhelming. There's a smile on your face that doesn't look like it's leaving anytime soon, and for the first time in... Since you can remember, you have no worries. You allowed the wind to carry them all away.

“I forgot how beautiful this place is.” You tell Billy, holding your hair out of your face so you can look at him.

“Beautiful.” He says, his eyes on you instead of on the ocean outside the window. You squint your eyes, just about to ask what he's looking at when he clears his throat, eyes on the road again. “But we're almost there. Look.”

Some miles away you see the William's house. Huge, way bigger than yours, built by the cliff, which gives them an amazing view of the ocean.

A few minutes later, you're being guided inside by one of their employees. There's nobody home, and by what the old man said, they'll only be back by nightfall, when you and Billy will be far away. So there's no danger. You're taken to the pool, and Billy starts moving around.

“What do I do?” You ask, taking a look at the enormous pool. It's so big it has an isle in the middle. The last time you came here, you were a kid, and you didn't remember it to be so big.

“I'll start with emptying the pool skimmer.” He looks around and then points at the skimmer net. “Think you can get rid of those leaves floating?”

“Yup.” Moving to get the skimmer, you start with your task.

As you move around the pool, catching the leaves and placing them on a plastic canvas Billy lied on the deck, you notice him giving you a few glances. But you only know that because you're also staring every now and then, as he comes and goes from the supply closet. Soon enough, you get so nervous about it that you can't help but giggle as you walk to the plastic canvas, dropping some more brown leaves on it. Since he's coming your way, you wait there, using the pole to sustain some of your weight, your free hand on your hip.

“Getting tired, princess?” Billy mutters in a mocking tone, and you roll your eyes. “Still half of the pool to clean.”

There's that pet name again, and at the very mention of it, you feel something on your stomach, like tickles. “I'm alright so far.” You mumble, hoping you're not blushing. As soon as he walks by, you resume your task.

The truth is that you're very tired already, and the skimmer is heavy. And the wind starts blowing the leaves all around, which makes you walk around the pool too many times. It's past 1 pm when Billy is over, and you decide not to get the four leaves left in the water.

“Let's go.” He says, and you get up from the wooden bench you've been seated for the last five minutes after he locked the supply closet, following him.

“I'm starving.” You mumble, letting your hair down from the ponytail as you get into the car again. “Where do you usually have lunch?”

“In a restaurant associated with the company. Which means employees don't pay.” He glances at you. “And I guess you didn't bring any money, so...”

“I would have if you told me that.” Pulling the door close, you take a deep breath. “Just buy me an ice cream and I'll be fine.”

“Absolutely not.”

“I'm fine. You did the hard work.” You buckle up when he speeds away, once again hitting the road. Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath when you feel the fresh wind on your face. “What are you doing next?”

“Got a fancy car to fix.”

“Uhm...” Opening your eyes again, you look at Billy's side, taking in the beach. It's completely empty now. But your eyes wander to Billy. In this perfect light, he looks amazing. Breathtaking. His grip on the wheel is loose, and he has a hand out the window, looking carefree. Billy loves this place, you can see it on his eyes, on his posture. He's home. “Do you think we have a few minutes to spare?”

“What for?”

“I just wanted to take a walk on the beach. But it's ok if you can't.” Looking away, you focus on the road ahead. But Billy is slowing down, pulling over to the side of the road. Biting your lip, you wait for him to stop before stepping out of the car. You're already crossing the road when you notice Billy is still in the car. So you stop, turning to look at him from the middle of the road. “Hey! Aren't you coming?”

“It sounded like you wanted some alone time.”

“I had plenty of alone time in the apartment.” Rolling your eyes, you gesture for him to come. “Let's go.” Reaching out your hand, you smile when he leaves the car, patiently waiting for him. You were just about to put your hand away when he takes it, rushing you to move since there was a car coming that you didn't see. It makes you giggle a little, your other hand coming to hold on to his forearm. “Seriously, you have to stop saving my life.”

“Then stop putting your life in danger.” It takes a little too long for him to let go of your hand, your fingers brushing against each other.

“I'll try.” When you get to the edge of the road, you don't see any steps leading to the sand. Only a rock that someone placed here to offer some help, but it's still a little too high for you. “Isn't it a buzz killer?”

“I'll help you.” Billy easily jumps to the sand, not even using the rock. “Come.”

“If I fall, I swear to God...” Sitting on the edge, you try calculating if you could just jump to the ground.

“You won't fall. C'mon.” Billy comes to stand right in front of you, both his arms raised to catch your fall.

Taking a deep breath, you push yourself forward, closing your eyes on the process, so you only feel when you collide with Billy. His hands are quick to hold your waist, sustaining your weight, and not allowing you to reach the ground. The sudden change makes you open your eyes, and you immediately take in how close you stand. His face is only three inches apart, and as he pulls you down, you hold tightly on his biceps. Billy's eyes are locked on yours, and even after you're safe on the ground, he doesn't move. His hands remain on your waist, his face still close enough to kiss, if only you were brave enough to stand on your toes. Your stomach feels funny, and your heart is trying to beat its way out of your chest.

But a car passing by snaps you out of it, and you both move at the same time, stepping back.

“Sorry.” You mutter, clearing your throat. “But thanks for not letting me fall.”

“I told you I wouldn't.”

×

@multific @dontxfearxthereaper @nope-thanks @nikkixostan @shinydixon @clockworkballerina @infinitelycharmed23

[aroaceslytherin]

In Too Deep

(Used song 'In Too Deep - Why Don't We' for inspiration)

Used to be scared of the ocean

'Cause I didn't know how to swim

I took one sip of your potion

Now I'm just divin' right in

For as long as Regulus could remember, he would have nightmares of the ocean swallowing him whole and dragging him down to the unknown depths many levels below the earth’s surface. His siblings taught themselves to swim in the lake in the forest near their manor.

Regulus never followed. He panicked just even setting foot on the land where the lake was. Ever since the first dream, he would drink water with a straw, he would never take a bath but rather clean himself with rags, water, and soap, he hated the rain, and washing the dishes or his hands made his heart pound.

When Regulus was eighteen, he signed himself up for a Suicide Mission besides the protests of his sisters and brother. He loved James, he loved his daughter, but he had to make his mother proud of him. So he took on the task of finding the locket for Tom Riddle even after Tom asked him many times ‘Are you sure?’.

“Why are you all protesting?” Regulus asked, sitting on the table in the meeting hall.

“You can’t swim.” Narcissa pleaded.

“Inferi will drag you down before you can even get to a cure for the water!” Bellatrix added on. “You are not strong enough, you have a fear of water, someone would have to go with you but it has never worked before.”

“I’ll take the risk.” Regulus whispered. “I love you.”

I heard your siren's call, it was beautiful I am drowning, God, please don't save me

Regulus took a deep breath in as he packed his bags. He was leaving Hogwarts tonight - he used to be excited to leave because it meant freedom. Now he dreaded it. He no longer wanted to leave because the chance for freedom was now shattered.

Was he ruining his future? Were his siblings right?

Regulus took the route down to the Gryffindor Common Room once more. Seeing the painting he used to run through with his brother and his idiot friends sent flutters through his body. An overwhelming sense of sadness he had never felt before filled his soul.

“Damn you, James.” He chuckled, making his way to the platform where the carriages were to take them to the train.

Regulus remembered the first time he saw James... Or at least noticed him. He was thirteen. James was sixteen. Sixteen and holding hands with a slightly annoyed Lily who was also holding hands with Remus... Who was holding hands with Sirius. Those four did everything together.

He felt it was wrong to fall for his best friend’s brother and someone his family would hate but something inside him also did not care. For once he did not care about something. James was beautiful. James was everything Barty was not.

But at the same time he was still drowning. He had been drowning since that day at the lake. His siblings had not noticed, but Cygnus tried to get him to swim. Regulus slipped and the only person who saved him was Bellatrix. She stayed with him on the bank until everyone was ready to head home. James had not known this.

Regulus had not told him because he knew this suicide mission was coming. James would have stopped him. James deserved something and someone better than him. Whether that was Lily or Remus and Sirius - it just was not him.

Regulus Black.

Baby Black.

Goodbye was coming.

Goodbye was all they were meant to be.

Forever was never for him.

Forever was for his brother.

Forever was for James and someone else.

His brother had everything he never had...

Happiness. An amazing boyfriend. Love. A chosen family. A colorful life. Bravery. Confidence.

FREEDOM

I’m in too deep

Can’t touch the bottom with my feet

Don’t know what you did to me, I can’t breathe but I’m living

I’m in too deep

Can’t touch the bottom with my feet

Don’t know what you did to me, I can’t breathe but I’m living

Bravery.

One thing Regulus Black never had.

Or so he thought.

He was brave enough to date James Potter. An “enemy”. He was brave enough to put himself on the Slytherin Quidditch team.

Did he do it to get closer to James? Probably.

Did he do it to see his brother more? Definitely.

Regulus was brave. He just did not see it within himself. He saw broken pieces that couldn’t be mended. He saw flaws where others saw beauty. He was just as dark as Andromeda pretended she wasn’t. They were ‘Blacks’ , it is what they were.

Dark.

Powerful.

Malicious.

James told him at one point they were being brainwashed. It was after Regulus unknowingly shared stories of what Cygnus had done to his sisters. He quickly left the Gryffindor Common Room after that for fear of sharing any other family secrets.

Regulus was afraid of mirrors. He turned them around in his room which was dark with no colour, save for the dark forest green that had always been his favourite. He was supposedly supposed to be a Gryffindor. He couldn’t see himself in that house. He knew he would be a Slytherin through and through.

Like his family.

He was wrong.

He was a snake with a lion’s heart. He wondered if he would even be on this mission if he had taken the Hat’s suggestion. He wondered if he would still be with James.

Yet here he was. Standing at the entrance of Sirius’ bright room staring at the mess, the evidence that someone once lived there, unlike his own room, which felt cold and unlived. Empty and sad. Like a ghost passing through. Mourning a life of happiness.

Where Sirius had pictures of his friends scattering the walls adorned by Gryffindor banners and posters of girls to annoy his parents despite how gay he was or makeup strewn all over his vanity and floor...

Regulus had books. On his desk, on his bookshelf filled to the brim, on his nightstand, in his closet. It was the only colour he had. Everything had a home. He never misplaced or moved anything and he would be livid at anyone for a week if they moved something just an inch.

Now all that was left in his room was a cold presence.

Regulus ran to Sirius’ bed and buried himself in the mess of blankets. He missed his big brother’s hugs. He almost had forgotten what Sirius smelled like. He wanted his brother. His mother forbade them from seeing each other and he obeyed. He even declined when his Uncle Alphard tried getting them to meet up. It broke his heart but he didn’t want to be disowned like Pandora, Rosier, Andromeda, and Sirius. He didn’t want to be hung like Alastair. Narcissa escaped long ago.

It was just him.

Fighting alone.

Healing alone.

Crying alone.

Alone.

Alone.

Alone.

I’m in too deep

Ah ooh-ah-ooh-ooh

Ah ooh-ah-ooh-ooh

I’m in too deep

Ah ooh-ah-ooh-ooh

Alone is all he has known. He knew he and James were going to end. As soon as they met it was goodbye. As soon as they met he was still alone even if James had said many times he had been found. He was seen. He was heard. He was no longer alone.

Regulus could not believe it no matter how many times he told himself. Everyone had left him. James would do the same. Except now Regulus felt guilty because he was the one that made James leave. He had begged James to leave instead of accepting the older boys’ help.

He then realized he pushed everyone away. It was safer that way. They would not get hurt when he dies. They got hurt anyway. It made Regulus sick. He should have stayed away.

If not for the suicide mission, then at his own hands. If he could not have James or Sirius then he is better off dead. Since he cannot have love and he cannot have James without doubt, anger, and beatings - he will just die. He could not wait for his mother to pass even if that meant his only path to happiness. As long as she was alive, he was miserable.

Regulus was done fighting for love. His brother was strong enough to fight for his love, but that is all Regulus had known. He fought for his mother’s attention and love. He fought for his life. For his family. He fought to stay. Regulus would not give up like Sirius did.

Sirius left.

Regulus kept going.

He was burning his hands on a rope he was gripping too tight, slipping until his hands were bleeding raw.

It was time to let go.

Treasure chest full of your diamonds

I don’t mind staying down here

Thought by now I would be dyin’

But your love gives me all my air

It scared Regulus to love this much. He had four beautiful years with James. It was time for the memories to be locked up. It was time for everything to end.

I heard your siren’s call, it was beautiful

I am drowning, God, please don’t save me

Regulus needed to see James one last time. Regulus was empty as he climbed the stairs to the apartment where Remus, Sirius, Lily, and James were living. Marlene and Dorcas were two doors down. None of them had heard from Peter in two years.

Regulus knew what Peter was doing. He also knew his mother was behind it all. Which is why he had to leave. Which is why he stayed glued on the mat, hesitating to reach up and knock.

Regulus backed out at the last minute, turning to go back and make his way to his grave.

I’m in too deep

Can’t touch the bottom with my feet

Don’t know what you did to me, I can’t breathe but I’m living

I’m in too deep

Can’t touch the bottom with my feet

Don’t know what you did to me, I can’t breathe but I’m living

“Regie?”

“Go back, James.” Regulus replied, not bothering to look back as he descended the stairs.

“Look at me.”

“I can’t.”

“Please.”

Regulus stopped on the step he was on. “James.” He sighed. He was exhausted. He was done. He was empty. There was nothing left. He didn’t know what to say when you were trying to break someone’s heart. He didn’t know what to do when you were leaving someone. He had never had to do that before. It was always the other person.

“I can’t.” Regulus shook his head, slowly taking another step down.

“Come home.”

“It never was.”

“It was and you know it.”

“Enough, James.” Regulus choked out. “I love you. It does not change the fact that I am still leaving. Nothing will.”

“Regie.”

“James. I-” He sighed, dropping his head.

“What?”

I’m in too deep

Ah ooh-ah-ooh-ooh

Ah ooh-ah-ooh-ooh

I’m in too deep

Ah ooh-ah-ooh-ooh

Ah ooh-ah-ooh-ooh

Ah ooh-ah-ooh-ooh

I’m in too deep

“What?” James pleaded, stepping one foot out the door.

“Goodbye. I love you.”

I heard your sirens call, it was beautiful

Goodbye.

That one word swam in his head as he pulled on the Gryffindor sweater and let his heavy body take him down to the edge of the lake inside the cave.

He was doing what he had to.

He would make it.

His mother would love him.

He never wanted to admit it...

But his mother hated him just as much as she hated Sirius. She was not fit to be a mother and Cygnus was never meant to be a father. Which is why she made the dumb mistake to take in his daughters and kept having kids. She should have been less selfish and given her daughters and Sirius a different life by giving them up instead of having him and Alastair. Regulus loved his own daughter. Which is why he gave her to James. To keep her safe with Cyprus.

It was too late.

Inferi were clawing at him already.

He went through with it.

I’m in too deep

Can’t touch the bottom with my feet

Don’t know what you did to me, I can’t breathe but I’m living

It was too late.

James knew this but he still grabbed his coat and fled. He knew where Regulus was going. He left a note for his family, grabbed a coat, and fled. He needed to save the insufferable git that could not see what was right in front of him.

James could not say goodbye.

He loved that bastard just as much as he loved his brother.

As much as Remus.

As much as Lily.

Maybe just a little bit more.

I’m in too deep

I never thought that you could be

A underwater symphony, I can’t breathe but I’m living

I’m in too deep

Can’t touch the bottom with my feet

Don’t know what you did to me, I can’t breathe but I’m living

Regulus looked up at the sound of echoed footsteps running toward him. He gripped the rocks harder, trying to pull himself free but he kept slipping. His hands were bruised and covered in blood but he kept trying. He would not let them take him. He had to save the locket.

“James! Leave!” He screamed.

“Not without you!” The older boy yelled back.

“I love you, now leave!”

“No! I won’t let you go!”

Regulus groaned.

James dove after Regulus, grabbing his wrists and pulling.

“If you go down, I will go down with you.” James said calmly. “I love you.” He whispered breathlessly as they went under.

Hands clawed at the both of them. James held tight to Regulus as the younger boy struggled. He went through every spell in his mind until he found one that his father had taught him. An old one not many would know anymore.

Regulus went limp in his grip as James repeated the words in his mind.

Further and further they went.

I’m in too deep

Ah ooh-ah-ooh-ooh

Ah ooh-ah-ooh-ooh

I’m in too deep

Ah ooh-ah-ooh-ooh

Ah ooh-ah-ooh-ooh

Ah ooh-ah-ooh-ooh

I’m in too deep

James soon found himself on his back in sand. He chuckled before pushing Regulus off him and getting on his hands and knees just before he ended up choking. As he coughed up water, Regulus moaned from next to him.

James side-eyed Regulus. He was bleeding through the Gryffindor sweater, his hair was a sopping, bleeding mess; the only thing that made James feel like he could keep going was the small, subtle indicators that the younger boy was still breathing.

James scrambled onto his feet as Regulus started coughing. He turned the smaller boy onto his side, getting him to expel some water from his body.

James then ripped the locket off Regulus' neck and hoisted his boyfriend onto his shoulders.

James apparated them to The Black Manor in Regulus’ room. He laid him down and put the locket in the Mahogany jewelry chest on the younger boys' bookshelf stuffed to the brim with books.

“I don’t wanna be here.” Regulus mumbled.

James kneeled next to him on the bed, caressing the youngest heir’s hair. “No one is here. As far as we know your parents are dead. While you were hiding out in that abandoned apartment complex, the dementors came searching for the locket because they thought you had it already.”

“Idiots.”

“I will be right back.”

Regulus laid there staring at the ceiling. It felt like a year had passed until James came back with a glass of water. He stuck a straw in it before handing the glass to Regulus.

“How do we destroy it?” James asked, looking at the box.

“We don’t.” Regulus answered as he sat up. James looked at him quizzically. “Lily’s pregnant, right?”

“Uh, yeah? Where are you-”

“Shh. You know I have visions.”

“You cannot possibly predict the future.”

“No, but I can say that yours and Lily’s kid will be the one to destroy it. We can try and destroy the others. Bellatrix and Tom should not have finished all of them or gotten too far.”

(As I was writing this - Listen To Your Heart; Roxette - started playing. Let me tell you I cried.)

Read Here

[elianamarie-blog]

The Things You Give Part 9

A/N: This has been an amazing journey with you guys! Thanks so much!

A few days had passed since Jackie found out and things were going surprisingly well and as for Steven’s dad—well, Kitty tried but would chicken out.

Y/N sat with her mom at the kitchen table, trying to convince her to tell Steven when he got home, which was in ten minutes.

“Mom, he has the right to know,” Y/N said. “You need to tell him now.”

Kitty fiddled with her coffee mug. “I know, but I don’t know how to tell him. He’s gone through a hard time already. I don’t know if this will make things worse.”

Y/N gave her a deadpan look. “Mom. I’m serious, this could make his life better!”

Kitty sighed. “I don’t know. I gotta figure out a way to let him know gently.”

“Have Dad help you!” Y/N suggested.

“Help you with what?” Red asked, entering the kitchen.

“Can you help Mom tell Steven about his real dad?” she asked and got up to stand next to him. “She doesn’t know how to tell him and I thought since you’re so good at telling people things, you can be the one to do it.”

Red opened the drawer, rummaging through it. “What makes you think I can tell him?” He continued to rummage through the drawer. “Kitty, where are the damn keys?”

“On the counter in front of you,” Kitty answered nonchalantly.

“Oh,” he said and grabbed them.

“’Cause you don’t care about people’s feeling and is the most blunt person I know,” Y/N said, returning Red to the conversation.

Red stood straighter, looking at his daughter. “You’re right. I am.”

“Please, Daddy,” Y/N begged, giving him the puppy eyes that she knew worked on him—only when it was reasonable. “It would really help me and Mommy out. You don’t have to say anything, you can just be there for support.”

“Oh, damn,” he said exasperated. “How do I always get dragged into this?”

“Because you love us,” Y/N said and kissed her dad’s cheek. “Thank you, Daddy.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he grunted, trying to hide a smile.

“Steven should be home any minute,” Y/N said. “I wonder how he’s going to take it.”

“Take what?” Hyde asked suddenly, coming through the sliding door.

“Oh, Steven, honey, you’re home,” Kitty said, jumping out of her chair.

“Yeah, I’m home,” he said, confused. “What’s going on?”

“Uhm… take a seat,” Y/N said, pulling a chair out from the table and moving it in front of her parents. “There’s something we need to tell you.”

Hyde’s stomach dropped at the thought of what was going to happen. They know, don’t they? Oh, God they know. Hyde studied Red’s face, but instead of fire and smoke coming out of his ears, he wore his usual annoyed expression. So, if that’s not it, then what is it?

“Steven,” Kitty started. “There’s no easy way to tell you, but um, when you fell off the water tower a few days ago, I looked into your file and well, um,” she looked at Hyde’s face and knew that she couldn’t tell him. “Red, you tell him.”

“Oh, for cripes sake,” he mumbled and turned to Steven. “Steven, who we thought was your father isn’t your father. We found out who your real dad is.”

It felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. “What?”

“His name is William Barnette and he lives in Milwaukee,” Kitty said. “I understand that you may have a lot of feelings and emotions. Maybe you want to cry.” Kitty pressed her lips into a thin line and shook her head, almost with a hopeful expression on her face. “We won’t tell him if you cry.”

“I’ll tell him,” Red said, rolling his eyes.

“Would you please?” Kitty asked feeling frustrated. “Steven, are you okay?”

“Well,” he started, pausing. “I don’t really know the guy who’s supposed to be my dad and obviously, I don’t know this new guy.” He shook his head and shrugged. “So, I-I don’t really care.”

He started walking away and Y/N jumped up to follow after him. “I’ll go talk to him,” she whispered, reassuring Kitty. “Steven you have to care! He could be someone who is way better than Bud. Someone who actually cares!”

They reached the basement, but Steven turned to her. “If he cared, then where the hell has he been for the last eighteen years?” he asked her roughly.

“Maybe he didn’t know,” she said, giving William Barnette the benefit of the doubt. “Maybe your mom was already with Bud when she found out she was pregnant with you.”

Hyde leaned his hands on the back of the couch, back hunched over. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter. Bud and Edna split on me already, so it doesn’t make a difference that he did either.”

Even though he didn’t show it, Y/N knew he was hurting and confused. Seeing him this way made her heart hurt for him. She went up behind him and wrapped her arms around his torso, forehead resting against his back. Hyde’s head hung low, questions swimming through, making him feel like he was almost drowning.

“You wanna talk about it?” she asked him quietly.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” he said. “He bailed on me like everyone else.”

“Hey,” she said and spun him around. “Just because Edna and Bud left you doesn’t mean that he did.” She wanted to mention how her family took him in and loved him as their own, but she knew this wasn’t about her. “You don’t know what happened.”

She wrapped her arms around her neck, pulling him in a tight comforting hug. “I think you should meet him.”

He pulled away suddenly and jerked his body away from her. “Are you freaking kidding me? No! The guy didn’t bother to come looking for me all these years, why should I go looking for him?”

“Because he has the right to know that he has a son!” she shot back. “You have this stuck in your mind that he abandoned you, but you don’t know that. What if he doesn’t know that he has a son? Or another son he doesn’t know about? He could have other kids too and you’d have siblings.”

“I already have a half-brother that I don’t talk to,” he said and sat down on the couch. “Why would I need more?”

“Oh, c’mon Steven,” she said and sat next to him. “Aren’t you just a little bit curious?”

“No, I’m not,” he responded, feeling irritated. “And will you lay off? I don’t want to talk about this right now. I just found out about the guy not even five minutes ago.”

Y/N backed off and sat back. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“Thank you,” he said and sighed. “I just need some time.”

“Okay,” she whispered and leaned her head on his shoulder. “Take all the time you need.”

She reached an arm across his chest and hugged him. He rested his hand on her arm and leaned his head against hers.

There was a beat of silence before Y/N spoke up. “Steven?”

He hummed in response.

“I think I’m falling in love with you,” she barley whispered, terrified of his reaction.

He froze, his heart beating rapidly. How does he respond to that? No, she can’t. She can’t love him. He’s spent his whole life being unloved and being told that no one would love him. Is she crazy or delusional? Why, why would she love him? Did he love her too? It would explain a lot, but he couldn’t love her. The minute he did, his walls would come down and that’s when all the bad things would start happening again. He wanted to so bad; he wanted to tell her he loved her too, but his mouth ran dry and suddenly it was hard to speak. He knows he told her a few nights before that he thought if he had to settle it down it would be with her, but damn, the thought of it becoming a realty scared the crap out of him.

“Steven?” she asked, lifting her head and looking at him. “Did you hear me?”

He cleared his throat. “Yeah. I did.”

She caught on to his attitude and unwrapped her arms from him, scooting away from him. She mentally kicked herself for opening her big mouth again. But she was also confused. Why would he freeze now when he talked about possibly settling down? “Um, you don’t have to say it back. I just wanted you to know.”

He jerked his head to look at her only to see her looking hurt. Even though she was putting on a brave face, he could see her fighting with herself to hide the hurt. That’s when he noticed a single tear slip down her cheek.

“Oh, c’mon please don’t cry,” he said turning his body fully to her. “It’s just…it’s not that I don’t feel the same way, I just don’t understand why you do.”

She looked at him with blurry eyed vision. “Because you’re real,” she answered fully. “You don’t try to impress anyone or show yourself to anyone because you don’t care. You don’t care what they think. You want something, you go for it. And that shows me that you’re here because you want to be, not because you want something out of me.”

He swallowed hard and kept looking at her sad face. He knew that she was referencing to Zack. And Hyde really did have feelings for her, so why was this so hard? He didn’t respond so she kept talking.

“I know that sounds ironic because, I mean, how we started and everything, but after you stayed with me after Zack and still wanted to be with me after our night together, I knew you weren’t just doing this just because I’m a good lay. I see how you are with me versus every other girl you’ve been with. You treat me better and you’re different than all the other guys. And I love that about you.”

“But you don’t want to love me,” he responded. “I’m not someone that’s easy to love. If I had a nickel every time I heard that growing up, I’d be a millionaire.”

“Who said love was easy though? I mean we are two individual people loving someone who is different from us. Why don’t you want me to love you?”

“Because, man, I …” he paused and rubbed the back of his neck.  “Look, the people I love – they tend to split on me, all right? My dad did it twice. My mom did it. Leo’s freaking gone, too. Why the hell wouldn’t I think you’d be next? I mean, you almost left for Denver. People who say they ‘love’ me, tend to leave. It doesn’t matter who they are.”

A small, hopeful smile slowly broke out onto her face. “Did you just say you love me?”

Hyde looked away from her. “I didn’t say that.”

“Yes, you did,” she argued with a smile.

“Yes…no. Y/N focus!” he said, causing her to smile even more. “That’s not what I’m trying to tell you.”

“I know exactly what you’re trying to tell me,” she said and straddled his lap, cupping his face. He rested his hands on her hips as he stared up at her lovely face.  “I know that it’s scary to love someone when everyone has left. But I’m here to stay, if you’ll have me.”

Hyde closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. He placed his hand over hers and kissed her palm. Her heart rate picked up and knowing that she was the only one who would see this side of him made her feel warm and happy. “The way I feel about you … I’ve never felt about a girl before. Usually I can’t wait for a chick to bail on me. The quicker the better. But you, I want you around.”

Y/N leaned in and kissed him slowly, savoring the moment. When she pulled away, she looked deep into his eyes. “You can trust that I’m not going to abandon you. All I’ve ever wanted was to be loved back. Not like someone to treat me like Zack did. I would never split on you. You give me more than what any other man can give me. You give me a safe space and a home. No other person has ever given me that before, and that’s all I’ve ever really wanted.”

“This isn’t easy for me,” he admitted, his voice weak. “Hearing all this and even having to say my feelings out loud…it feels like I could be sick. Because saying this makes it real.”

“Feeling it makes it real,” she said. “And me saying it to you doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

“I’m starting to believe that you want to stick around,” he said with a small smile.

“I do,” she responded. “Even just the thought of me leaving and hurting you kills me inside. I promise to stay.”

“Then I guess you’ll be hearing me say, ‘I love you’ the longer you’re with me, the more of a chance that kind of thing will slip out. It’s all about odds, man. Like rolling dice. Playing craps. Your number’s gotta come up some time.”

Y/N grinned brightly at his handsome face. “Then I’ve got great odds because I’m never leaving you.”

He placed his hand on her upper back and brought her lips down to hers and kissed her passionately. She pulled back and leaned her forehead against his.

“By the way, I love you too,” she said and he smiled on her lips before deepening the kiss. She brought him closer to her and tangled her tongue with his. The kiss started getting heated and as doing so, Hyde traced his hands down her back to her ass and firmly held them in place.

At that moment, Donna, Jackie, and Eric were coming through the basement door.

Donna in front, Eric in the back with Jackie in the middle, Donna saw Hyde and Y/N embraced in each other who quickly pulled apart and scrambled away from each other. Before Eric could see what was happening, Donna quickly slammed the door, shutting everybody out.

“Uh, Donna?” Jackie asked.

“I think Y/N has a guy over,” she responded, careful not to reveal any information.

“Oh gross!” Eric shouted. “Not on the couch!”

“Unfortunately, so,” Donna responded.

“Great, now I’m gonna have to burn it,” Eric responded. “Well, where are we supposed to go?”

“Let’s just go upstairs,” Donna said and pushed them back up the stairs.

“Were they…?” Jackie whispered.

“Looks like they were about to,” Donna whispered back.

“Thank you,” she sighed as they made their way back up the stairs.

                                               ⧝⧝⧝

Fez and Jackie sat in her room that night, kissing and talking, but mainly kissing. Fez loved the way her lips felt on his, but she wanted to see if that spark would return. She was having a war within herself. She told everyone that she and Fez had decided to work it out, but if she—and Fez—were being honest, it was a lie. They only said they worked things out to put on a brave face for the group. Only so that they could get the others to lay off while they figured things out.

Jackie hummed and placed her hands on Fez’s chest and gently pushed him away, breaking the kiss. “Fez, we need to talk.”

“Talk about how a fantastic kisser you are?” he purred.

Jackie smiled at that and looked at him. “You’re sweet, but no. We need to talk about us.”

He leaned back a little, a worried expression on his face. “Yes, my love?”

She looked into his puppy eyes and wanted to cry right there and then. She couldn’t take living a lie anymore, but she also didn’t want to hurt him. She knew he loved her, he’s always loved her, but why…why did she have to feel like this? Why was she so crazy about him before and now she’s…not? It hurts to feel this way. At first, she thought it was because of her homelife situation and maybe those feelings would return. But then she realized that she should’ve leaned on him more and have their love grow, but it didn’t. Instead she pulled away and didn’t even think about him much.

Maybe she’s messed up like her mom. Which, the thought scares her. She doesn’t want to be anything like her mom. Instead, she wished she was more like Donna and Eric, as gross as that sounded to her. Or even like Kitty and Red. That was a couple she could look up to. They were solid, stable, and stuck by each other through thick and thin. Her mom bailed the second her dad went to prison. She would never admit to anyone how nights she cried herself to sleep.

“This isn’t easy,” she behind and the sadness and worry in his eyes made her want to change her mind, but she couldn’t. “I’m having a hard time with home right now and I know I’ve been kinda distant.”

“It’s okay, I understand,” he says. “I just want you to be happy.”

Jackie groaned. “Fez, you’re such a wonderful, wonderful guy and I am so lucky to have you, but—”

“But what?”

“I can’t believe that I’m actually going to say this, but I don’t think I can juggle my family, my senior year, and having a boyfriend…”

“So, what are you saying?” Fez asked. “You want to break up?”

Jackie’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry, Fez. This has been the best year of my life. Because of you, I’ve become a better person. You’ve shown me what truly matters and I will always thank you for it, but I can’t keep going through this relationship pretending to be all in. It’s not fair to either of us.”

“I can’t believe this,” Fez said and stood from the bed. “I thought you said that I was the guy you’ve always wanted.”

“I know, I know,” Jackie said and sprang from the bed to stand with him. “And I know how stupid I’m being for doing this, but I can’t keep doing this to you. I love you, Fez and I don’t want to lose you completely. When everything calms down, I’d like to start things back up again.”

“You’re asking me to wait for you? Are you serious?”

“I’ll wait for you if you wait for me,” she answered and grabbed his hand. “I just need time to figure out my feelings and emotions.”

“No, I know how this goes,” he said, snatching his hand back. “You want me to wait for you but you don’t have to and will start talking to other people. And then when I do, you’ll get pissed at me. This is a controlling tactic and I won’t have it.”

“No, Fez that’s not—”

He struck up a hand to silence her. “I said good day.”

“But Fez!”

Tears started to well up in his eyes. “I said good—” He couldn’t finish the sentence, choking up. Without saying anything else, he turned on his heel and stormed out of her room.

“Fez!” she called after him, but he was already gone.

                                   --Time Skip--      

           Later that night in Y/N ’s room, Y/N spent half the evening with Donna, comforting Jackie. They both held her as she cried into Y/N ’s shoulder and Donna holding her hand. This time was a different kind of cry—a deep hurt cry.

           “I hate that I hurt him,” she said after telling them the story. “I didn’t even want to end it.”

           “I know, Jackie,” Y/N soothed. “But you said it yourself that there were no more sparks.”

           “I know, but I still love him!” she wailed.

           “Do you love him?” Donna asked. “Or are you in love with him? There’s a difference you know?”

           “How?” Jackie asked.

           “When you love someone, you could love them as a friend or family; You don’t look at them as anything beyond that. You want the best for them. You love like you love like me or Y/N , or Hyde or Eric. But when you’re in love with someone,” Donna continued and brushed hair away from face. “It changes your world completely. You sacrifice things for them, sometimes just to be with them. You put them first before yourself and you always want to be close to them.”

            Y/N looked at Donna who then looked at Y/N back. Y/N had a small smile on her face and looked back down to Jackie. She hadn’t told either of them yet.

           “I don’t know,” Jackie sniffled. “I really don’t. I feel like I should be so in love with him like I was with Michael, but for some reason I’m not.”

           “Well, then there’s your answer,” Y/N answered gently.

           “But I hurt him so much,” she said, her voice sounding like gravel. “I normally don’t hurt this much if I hurt someone. Why?”

           “Maybe because you really do love him and you don’t know how to feel about it?” Y/N questioned, not knowing herself.

           “I don’t know!” Jackie wailed. “For years, I thought my mom loved my dad and that’s what marriage should look like, but after she left my dad after he was thrown in prison, I don’t know what real love is like. I thought I loved Michael. And then I thought I loved Steven. I’ve loved the wrong guys, but then Fez…Fez is different. He’s been there for me emotionally and physically.” Her eyes grew wide at the sudden realization. “Oh my God, what did I just do?!”

            Y/N and Donna shushed her comfortingly and hugged her tighter. “It’s okay, Jackie. It’ll be okay,” Donna said.

           Jackie continued to sob. “I’m just like my mom: broken.”

           “Jackie, you’re not broken,” Y/N said sternly and made her look at her. “Just because your mom did awful stuff doesn’t mean you’re like her. It’s okay to be confused. It’s okay to not know what you want. Fez is a big boy, he’ll be okay. Just like you’ll be okay. If it’s meant to be, it’s always will be. It will always find a way. Do you understand? You’re not your parents, you are your own individual person. By feeling that way, you will eventually end becoming like her. If you don’t want to be like her, you have to fight it.”

           She nodded her hand and wrapped her arms around Y/N ’s neck. “Thank you, Y/N. You guys are the bestest friends I’ve ever had. I’m going to go talk to my mom and then find Fez.”

           She got up, wiping at her face, and left the room leaving Donna and Y/N alone.

           “That was really amazing what you told her,” Donna commented.

           “I can say the same about you,” Y/N replied. “You’re very wise about love.”

           “Well, I’ve been in love with the same boy since childhood,” she shrugged and smiled.

           “Yeah, I understand it now,” Y/N said, smiling.

           Donna caught on to this. “No way!”

           “Way,” Y/N laughed.

           “You love him?!” Donna asked. “Did he say it back?”

           “In his own way,” Y/N said and smiled. “He’s slowly bringing down those walls he’s been holding up for so long.”

           “Tell me all about it,” Donna said, grinning.

           “Okay, so, this is what happened.”

                                                                ⧝⧝⧝

           “If you could pick any superpower, what would it be?” Kelso asked as everyone sat around the circle later that night. “I think I would like speed. Like the Flash. So, that I could run around and do it with every hot chick in Wisconsin at lightning speed! Maybe in the entire world!”

          Y/N laughed. “If you do that, women would barley feel anything.”

           “Nuh uh,” Kelso said.

           “And you would probably have every STD known to man,” Donna giggled.

           “Well, what would you guys have then?” Kelso asked defensively.

           “I don’t know,” Donna said in thought. “I think I’d have something like Wonder Woman.”

           “I can see that,” Y/N responded. “Mine would be Spider-Man. Or no! Spider-Woman. Her new comic book just came out last year!” She took the joint from Eric’s fingers and inhaled the wonderful green plant.

           “Hey, that was mine!” Eric whined. “I was going to choose Spider-Man!”

           “No, you weren’t,” Y/N said, passing the joint to Steven who was sitting quietly, listening to the conversation. “You were going to choose something stupid like The Force.”

           “It is NOT—” Eric yelled, but stopped abruptly and placed his finger on his lips, shaking his head and frowning. “It is not stupid!”

           “Listen, Bro, if I had to sit through Star Wars or gauge my own eyes out, I would say hand me the scissors.”

           “How dare you spew that blasphemy!” Eric shouted. “How are you my twin?”

           “We’re twins, not clones,” Y/N laughed along with gang who were enjoying this.

           “You guys are such dorks,” Hyde laughed.

           “Yeah? What would choose Hyde?” Kelso asked.

           “Fire, man!” he exclaimed, throwing his hands up. “Like, my whole body would go up in flames and I can throw fire!”

           “Like the Human Torch?” Eric asked.

           “Man, do you always have to bring comic books into this?” Hyde asked him.

           “Yes,” Eric deadpanned.

           “If I could have any superpower, it would be to go back in time and see why Jackie stopped loving me,” Fez piped up, his voice breaking.

           “Awe, Fezie,” Y/N cooed, her heart breaking. “It’s okay. It’ll be okay.” She went over to where he was sitting and wrapped an arm around his shoulders and held him close.

           “Man, are you going to start crying?” Hyde asked and Y/N shot him a glare.

           “Yeah, if you’re going cry, I’m going to leave,” Kelso said.

           “Will you guys shut up?” Y/N snapped. “Our friend is hurting and you’re not being good friends right now.” Y/N tugged him closer and rested her chin on his head.

           Hyde would never admit it, but he felt kind of guilty.

           “Sorry,” Kelso said sheepishly. “Look, Fez, when Jackie dumped me, I know I wasn’t showing it, I was really sad too.”

           “Man, you freaking cried too!” Hyde said.

           “Shut up! No I didn’t!” Kelso yelled and turned to Fez. “But after I looked in the mirror and saw how beautiful I am, I felt better and realized Jackie was always a bitch.”

           “Don’t you say that!” Fez shouted, standing up. “Don’t you ever say that! Jackie is the woman I love and if you can’t respect that you can leave!”

           “Fez, I didn’t—” Kelso said, but Fez cut him off.

           “Good day!”

           “Oh, Fez, c’mon—”

           “I said GOOD DAY!”

           Kelso looked at him hurt. “I was just trying to help you, man! You don’t have to be such a jerk.”

           Fez refused to look at him as Kelso stood up and walked out the basement. After the door slammed shut, Fez sunk back and covered his face with a hand.

           “I don’t think I’ve ever been this hurt before,” Fez rasped and soon, his shoulders were shaking.

           “Oh, Fez, look, it’s not the end of the world,” Eric said, awkwardly comforting his friend.  “I know you really loved her, but she’s not the only woman in the world who will feel the same about you.”

           “Yeah, man. There are women out there of all kinds of flavors. You just gotta pick up a spoon and try them,” Hyde said, smirking at his analogy.

           “Clever, Hyde,” Y/N said and rubbed Fez’s back. “Listen, Fez, what’s meant to be will be. If you and Jackie are meant to be, it’ll always find a way. Fate will bring you back together one day.”

           Fez wiped at his nose, looking up at everyone with red eyes. “You guys really think so?”

           “Of course,” Donna said gently. The last of the joint had been burnt out and forgotten on the table. “Look, you’re cute and sensitive, smart and funny. Any girl would be so lucky to have you.”

           “You know I’m sitting right here,” Eric said, acting offended.

           “Oh, shut up,” Donna laughed.

           “Would you go out with me?” Fez asked. “You know, if you were single.”

            Y/N nodded. “Maybe. If I haven’t been friends with you for so long.”

           “Same here,” Donna responded and reached across the table, grabbing his hand. “If things don’t work out with you and Jackie, there are still so many women who would be the luckiest woman ever.”

           “Thanks you guys,” Fez smiled gratefully at the girls and looked at Eric and Hyde. “You two suck ass at comforting people.”

           “That’s what chicks are for, man,” Hyde said, a smile playing on his lips.

           “You know, I think I’m going to go home for the night,” Fez said, standing up. “I’m tired.”

           “Okay, Fezie,” Y/N said and watched him leave. “Poor guy.”

           “I know, I don’t think I’ve seen anyone so torn up,” Eric said. “What a pansy!”

           “You know, if I recall, you didn’t get out of bed for three days when you and Donna broke up,” Y/N said, looking at her twin brother. “And then didn’t get over it and bitched about it for a year.”

           Donna giggled. “You even tried to get with that loose blonde during Hyde’s party to make me jealous.”

           “Whatever,” Eric said and leaned back in his seat. “All I know is, Jackie isn’t worth crying over.”

           “Eric! Y/N ! Steven!” Red yelled, coming down the stairs. Everyone scrambled up and quickly got rid of the evidence and Eric sprayed some air freshener around the room. They all returned to their places on the couch and lawn chair, acting as if they had been watching TV this whole time. “You three, upstairs!”

           “Why?” Y/N asked.

           “Don’t ask me why, just do it!” Red barked and went back upstairs.

            Y/N and Eric groaned and trudged upstairs.

           “I think I’m gonna go,” Donna said and gave Eric a chaste kiss and left.

           “No, save me,” Eric whined causing Donna to laugh.

           “You’ll be fine,” she giggled and walked out.

           “What do you think Dad wants?” Y/N asked as they trudged up the stairs.

           Eric shrugged. “I probably screwed up and he wants to interrogate you so that he can get it out of you and Hyde.”

           She nudged him. “I got you bro.”

           “I don’t,” Hyde said.

            Y/N elbowed him in the ribs earning a grunt from him. A small smile crept up on his lips as he rubbed the sore spot.

           As the three of them reached upstairs, Red stood with a frustrated look on his face. “Look, Screwhead, what did you do?” He held up a white envelope. “Another damned ticket?”

           Hyde laughed and smacked Eric’s shoulder. “That’s funny. Hey, Screwhead.”

           “Actually, you’re Screwhead. I’m just called ‘boy,’” Eric said.

           “You wanna explain this?” Red said.

           “Wait, if you think this is Hyde’s problem, why am I here?” Y/N asked.

           “I need you to testify if you were a witness,” Red said.

           “Dad, this isn’t court,” Y/N said. “Just ask him your questions so that we can go to bed.”

           “What is it?” Steven asked and grabbed the letter. “Why am I getting a letter from the D.M.V?”

           “Oh, my God. It’s about the cow,” Eric blurted out, causing Y/N to whip her head to her brother, eyes wide. She stomped on his foot making him wince. “Did I say cow? I meant cow-nt down to better driving!”

           “What he meant to say is, they hit a cow,” Hyde stated.

           “Hyde!” The twins said in unison. “What the hell?!”

           “I have to say, it’s really creepy when you two do that,” said Hyde.

           “Well…we….I had the right of way!” Eric said exasperated.

           “Go ahead, open it hotrod,” Red said calmly, nodding at the letter. “You know, you are the most irresponsible, careless, no-account, undisc—”

           “Oh, it’s a reminder letter to change my address on my license,” Hyde said.

           “Oh, well…uh…welcome home!” Red said awkwardly and walked away into the living room.

           “Is it really an address renewal?” Y/N asked, taking the letter from him.

           “Yeah, for my new speeding ticket,” Hyde answered, chuckling.

           “You’re awful,” Y/N laughed. “Alright, boys, I’m gonna go to bed to prepare for my whole day of nothing.”

           Eric and Hyde smirked as they watched her walk away.

           “Man, she really is something isn’t she?�� Hyde asked and went over to the fridge to look for a late-night snack.

           “I guess you could say that,” Eric said and had Hyde grab him a beer. “She’s always had a mouth on her.”

           You have no idea, Hyde thought.

           “When she does it, it’s ‘cute and funny’ but when I do it I ‘have a major attitude problem’ and ‘need a foot in my ass,’” Eric finished with a frustrated sigh and sat down at the table. “So, what’s with you and your new chick anyway?”

           Hyde groaned. “I thought we were through with this, Forman?”

           “I know, but like, why haven’t we met her? I’m starting to think she’s fake.”

           “Believe me, she isn’t fake,” Hyde said and flitted his gaze towards the door.

           Unfortunately for him, Eric is smart and caught on to Hyde’s gaze. “Dude, no.”

           “What?” Hyde whipped his head back to Eric.

           “You better not be doing my sister!” Eric stood up from his seat and Hyde’s palms grew clammy, but he remained his cool.

           “How many times do I have to tell you I’m not doing your sister?!” Hyde asked, growing frustrated, but really, he wanted this conversation to end. “Why do you keep saying that?”

           “I find that a little hard to believe,” Eric said, putting his hands on his hips. “I know you’ve had a thing for her for a while.”

           “What makes you say that?”

           “I’m not blind; I see the way you look at her when you think no one is looking. You treat her just slightly better than everybody else. And lately here, you’ve been happier than normal.”

           “Forman, man, will you shut it? I don’t have a thing for your sister!”

           “Hyde, if you can look me in the eye and tell me that you’re not seeing my sister, I’ll let it go,” Eric said seriously. “If you tell me the truth, I promise I won’t strangle you. Or, I’ll try really, really hard not to.”

           Steven contemplated this. He thought he could tell Eric and get it over with. But he knew if he did, it would open the gates of hell with Y/N. And if any Forman children got Red’s temper, it was Y/N.

           He looked Eric in the eye. “No, I’m not seeing your sister. Can we please drop this now?”

           Eric stared at Hyde for a second, darting between his aviator covered eyes and leaned back. “Fine. But if I find out that you’re lying, I swear to God Hyde…”

           “What? You’ll kick my ass?”

           “You don’t know what I can do when I get angry,” Eric warned.

           “Okay Hulk,” Hyde laughed.

                                                 --Time Skip—

           The Next Day

             Hyde and Kelso sat in the kitchen eating a sandwich, Kelso expressing his anxieties about becoming a father.

           “What if the baby comes out dumb?” he asked.

           “Well, Kelso,” Hyde began. “I’m not gonna lie, it’s a possibility.”

           “I’m serious, Hyde!”

           “Yeah, so am I.”

           “Hyde, will you quit messing around for a second?”

           “I’m not.”

           “Hyde!”

           “Okay, I’m sorry,” Hyde laughed. “The baby probably won’t come out moronic like you. It’ll probably come out smart like Brooke.”

           “And beautiful like me,” Kelso said as if he just made a scientific discovery. “Thanks Hyde, you’re the best!”

           “Yeah, sure, man.” Hyde returned to his sandwich and picked up the paper that was lying on the table.

           “Hey, do you know where the peanut butter is?” Kelso asked, looking through the cabinets. “I want a peanut butter banana sandwich.”

           Hyde hummed. “It should be on the shelf behind me,” he responded lazily, not bothered to look up from the paper.

           “Oh.” Kelso rounded the corner and started looking at the shelf for the peanut butter when he noticed a yellow cloth peeking out from behind the curtain, wedged between the shelf. He pulled it out and noticed it was a female’s medium shirt. “Whoa, what’s this?”

           Hyde turned to see Kelso holding Elena’s shirt. Oh no. “Um…what does it look like?”

           “Well, I know what it is,” Kelso answered. “What’s it doing all the way over here?”

           “I don’t know. Maybe it accidentally got kicked over when Mrs. Forman was doing laundry.”

           “That’s kind of weird,” Kelso said and suddenly an idea clicked. “Is this your woman’s?”

           “Uh…yeah,” Hyde answered truthfully. “I had her over a week ago. By the way, this is a very sturdy table.” He shook the table to prove his point.

           “Yeah, Hyde!” Kelso high fived him. “I seriously want to meet her.”

           “Why? So you can try to nail her?”

           “No,” Kelso said defensively. “Okay, well, maybe a little.”

           “Another reason to not bring her over here,” Hyde said, getting up to bring his plate to the sink. “I don’t feel like burying your body in the backyard.”

           “Nuh uh,” Kelso said, laughing nervously. “You wouldn’t do that.”

           “I don’t know, you shot me once and shoved me off the tower. Maybe I want my revenge.”

           “Accidentally!”

           “No, it wasn’t.”

           “Accidentally on purpose!” Kelso defended again.

           “Whatever, man, you’re not going to meet her, so, just give me her shirt so I can give it back to her.”

           The back door slid open, revealing Y/N walking through. “Hey guys,” she greeted. “What’re you do—oh, hey my shirt!” She grabbed the yellow fabric from Kelso’s hands. “I’ve been looking for this for like a week.”

           What happened next, happened in slow motion. Hyde’s eyes widened to saucers, Y/N seeing his reaction, showing confusion which quickly turned to fear and there was Kelso. Who sat there staring at Y/N with his mouth open, refusing to believe it was real, but here was Y/N and Hyde, looking terrified.

           “OH!” Kelso yelled and pointed at Hyde and Y/N. “OH! OH MY GO—”

           Hyde slapped a hand over Kelso’s face and dragged him downstairs to the basement. Kelso’s muffled screams could be heard as Hyde struggled to him down the stairs, Y/N slamming the basement door behind them.

           Once they got to the basement, Hyde and Kelso stumbled and fell onto each other on the couch.

           “Shut up, man!” Hyde hissed. “You need to shut up!”

           Kelso stopped struggling and Hyde removed his hand and stood up. “Yes.”

           Hyde stood on one side of the couch while Y/N stood on the opposite side, wringing her hands.

           “YOU?!” Kelso pointed to Hyde and then pointed to Y/N. “AND YOU?!”

           “Please, Kelso, please I am begging you to keep your voice down,” Y/N pleaded. “Please, please, please don’t tell Eric.”

           Kelso was breathing hard as if he had just ran a marathon. “What—when did this happen?!”

           “It happened in June,” Hyde whispered.

           “IN JUNE?!” Kelso shouted, causing Y/N and Hyde to shush him aggressively. “Well, who else knows?”

           “Donna and Jackie, a-and now you,” Y/N answered and looked at Hyde who looked equally scared. “Nobody else knows.”

           “Oh my God,” Kelso panicked. “Oh my God, I gotta tell someone!” He scrambled to get up, but Hyde and Y/N were quicker and tackled him into the couch.    

           “NO!” Hyde and Y/N yelled as they pinned him down.

           “You cannot tell anyone!” Y/N said sternly. Kelso continued to fight against them, but he was outnumbered and gave up.

           “Kelso, you tell anyone and I’ll kick your ass!” Hyde threatened.

           Hyde and Y/N got off Kelso, who were all now heaving.

           “Kelso,” Y/N kneeled at his knee. “I am begging you to please, please, please, please not tell anyone. This is important.”

           Suddenly Fez walked in, seeing this and became confused. “Uh…what’s going on?”

           “HYDE AND Y/N ARE DOING IT!” Kelso blurted out, running over to Fez.

           “KELSO!” Hyde and Y/N screamed.

           “Kelso, you freaking moron,” Hyde chastised him and punched him hard in the arm.

           “No, they’re not,” Fez laughed. “This has to be a joke.”

           Everybody’s facial expressions showed him otherwise.

           “No,” Fez whispered, covering his mouth with his hand. “No way. You’re the secret hot Y/H/C?!”

           “Okay, yes,” Hyde said and wrapped an arm around Y/N ’s shoulders. “ Y/N and I are dating, and more importantly, doing it—” Y/N shot him a look and Hyde cleared his throat. “But, it’s true. We need you guys to keep this to yourselves.”

           “Well, who else knows?” Fez asked.

           “Well, freakin’ everyone except for Eric now,” Y/N responded. “So, guys, please shut up when Eric is around.”

           Fez and Kelso looked at each other. “Fine,” they said.

            Y/N and Steven sighed out in relief. “Thank you, guys,” Y/N said.

           “I still can’t believe it’s you two,” Kelso said.

            Y/N looked at Hyde who looked down at her with a gentle smile.

           “I know,” she said, smiling and reached up, kissing him. He placed a hand on her hip and pulled her closer.

           “Aw, okay that’s enough,” Kelso said disgusted.

           “Please don’t do that in front of me,” Fez squeaked and Kelso nodded. “It gives me needs.”

           “Yeah—wait, what?” Kelso said. “No. No! Look, just because we know you’re together now doesn’t mean we want to see you two all over each other.”

           “Well, then you guys better leave because you are about to see just that,” Hyde said, shooing the boys away.

           “Normally, I’d want to watch, but this is too weird. Even for me,” Fez said, heading back for the door.

           “Yeah,” Kelso said and turned to Y/N, wearing a seductive smile. “If you want to make it less awkward and a guarantee that I won’t tell Eric, you and I do it once.”

           “Shut the hell up, Kelso!” the couple said in unison as Hyde punched Kelso as hard as he could in the arm.

           Kelso groaned, holding his arm. “GOD!”

Taglist:

@lieswithoutfairytales​

[jawritter]

Save Me

Summary: It’s hard to be the hero, especially when no one saves you. 

Warnings: Cannon level Dean Winchester depression. Mentions and hints of drug use, Alcohol abuse and excessive drinking, language, self loathing, maybe a hint of jealous!Dean? Dean’s in a very dark place in this fic, and it’s a tear jerker. 

Paring: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 2013

A/N: This fic was based on the song Save Me, by Jelly Roll. The lyrics are in Italics. This fic was also beta’d by @miss-nerd95! Thanks so much hun! Please do not copy my work! I hope you all enjoy this one! 

Want More? Check my Masterlist!!! Want even more? Become a patreon, and as little for two dollars a month you can get exclusive fics first!!

**MASTERLIST**       ***BECOME A PATREON***

Somebody save me Me from myself I've spent so long Living in hell

Dean twisted the cap off of another bottle and downed the contents of the warm alcohol quick enough to make himself a little tipsy, and that alone felt like an accomplishment. He could hear Elieen and Sam in the room just down the hall from him, and honestly, it made him sick. 

It wasn't  that he disliked Elieen. In fact, he was the one that told Sam to go for it. She knew what they did, understood their lifestyle because she herself was a hunter and if Sam had a chance at being happy, who was he to tell him otherwise. It was more than Dean himself felt he’d ever have, or even deserve. 

He supposed this was the price of being the 'hero'. The guy who saved everyone's  ass. Why couldn't he be the one getting saved for once?

Eileen’s laughter cut through the silence  of the Bunker and drifted into Dean’s room where he pulled the covers up over his head to try and block  the sound. 

He was tired of living this way, but once he got drunk enough to not feel the lonely ache in his chest, he guessed it would stop mattering then. Then he could carry on with this shit-storm of a life he’d been reduced too. People thought Hell was lonely, turns out it was pretty much the same topside too.

They say my lifestyle is bad for my health It's the only thing that seems to help All of this drinking and smoking is hopeless but feel like it's all that I need Something inside of me is broken, I hold onto anything that sets me free

“Dean, you're getting too old to drink like that, man,” Sam said from his side of the table in the library where he and Eileen had taken up residence to look for another hunt. Dean hoped they’d fucking find one because he was tired of sitting here looking at them and just twiddle  his thumbs.

His liver desperately wanted him to find something to do with himself as well, not just keep on damaging it, and seemed to be screaming at him pretty loud this morning. 

“I’m fine, Sam. I quit the hard stuff a long time ago. I just need some sleep. Come get me if you guys come up with a hunt.” 

He got up and slid the chair back with more force than needed, but he hated it when Sam tried to butt in his life and tell him what he should and shouldn’t be doing. It’s easy to say shit like that when you don’t have to wake up to a cold bed every morning. 

Dean was just like everyone else. He craved companionship that didn’t come from some one night stand he picked up at a bar. He wanted a family, hell, he wanted to have kids someday. There goes that opportunity when you're in your forties and too damn broken to even get through the night without alcohol. 

“So much for being a good father figure,” Dean snorted to himself as he flopped down on his bed, letting the silence that stood in his room carve him deeper than any torturer from Hell could conjure up, or any wound his body had ever endured. 

Dean’s eyes drifted over to the almost empty bottle of Tennessee Whiskey on his nightstand, and he let out a huff. He would never tell Sam about the dime bag he kept in the hiding place under the floorboard of Baby for when things got really bad and he knew that he should stop doing this shit to himself, but it was the only relief he seemed to get sometimes. Today seemed like one of those days.

I'm a lost cause Baby, don't waste your time on me I'm so damaged beyond repair Life has shattered my hopes and my dreams I'm a lost cause Baby, don't waste your time on me I'm so damaged beyond repair Life has shattered my hopes and my dreams

Dean picked up his phone that was lying next to him on the bed, and somehow he started to dial your number, just like he’d done a thousand times over the years. It felt like a lifetime since he’d last seen you, but he always kept your phone number and would even dial it on occasion to just hear you say “hello” before he would quickly hang up. 

But he couldn’t do that to you, he couldn’t put you in the kind of danger his life seemed to be saturated in.  Besides there was no hope for someone like him, and if he thought he was fucked up years ago when he’d first meet you on that hunt in Wichita? Well, fuck if he wasn’t more in deep shit now than he’d ever been. 

Dean was sure you’d moved on by now anyway, he wasn’t going to waste your time on him. He was a lost cause. A shattered, broken shell of the former hunter when he was 28. Now it was all an act and a brave face until he could get stoned enough to get numb to not give a damn, because Dean fucking Winchester wasn’t allowed to feel. And as a result, he never did .

What if the night sky was missing the moon? And there were no shooting stars, to use wishing on you And all of my sorrows, I just wash them down It’s the only peace I've ever found. All of this drinking and smoking is hopeless but feel like it's all that I need Something inside of me is broken, I hold onto anything that sets me free

Dean didn't stop until he was tired of driving, but it was better than being in that Bunker with the couple fucking happy in love. He found himself in probably another state, but fuck if he even knew which one, they all looked the same after so many years on the road. A joint burning slowly in one hand, a bottle of cheap whiskey in another, and his back stretched out on Baby’s sleek, black hood. Nothing out there between him and all of his past years of regret but the stars, and the moon that shined out over the body of water he was parked in front of.

He was starting to feel the effects of his self-medication, and he knew he’d end up spending the night out here-which wasn’t much of a problem for him. At least it was quiet, peaceful even. That or he was just shit-faced enough to drown out the voices in his head that were screaming at him louder than usual that he would die alone, just like his father. Chasing his demons. 

If this little bit of pot and that little bit of alcohol gave him a little earlier out without having to actually pull the trigger? Well, fuck he’d take that too. He deserved nothing less than to die stoned, drunk, and probably in his own vomit. So much for being a hero. At this point though, he was pretty positive that heroes didn’t get saved. 

When the alcohol had run out and he had to lean against a tree to take a piss, he decided that he’d go crawl in the backseat and try to sleep it off so that he could play the hero one more day. That was, if he woke up

When he had flopped across the leather seats of the only real home he’d ever known, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed the number he was pretty sure he’d never forget. It rang and rang until he was just about to say fuck it, and hang up when you finally answered the phone. 

“Hello?”

Dean’s breath hitched in his throat, and he knew that he should've just hung up but for some reason, he couldn’t. He couldn’t stand the ache in his own chest any longer.

“Hello?” your voice said again as one silent tear slipped down his cheek onto the leather seat underneath him.

“Y/N, It’s Dean… I-uh, I’m sorry to call you so late.”

You could have heard a pin drop as your own heart picked up pace, your mind racing a thousand miles a minute. 

“Dean? Damn it’s been years. I thought you were dead!” you tell him in disbelief, sitting down on the concrete steps outside of your little house. His face still was a clear picture in your mind, the night he’d left you felt like it was yesterday as it was all those years ago. 

“Not dead yet, Sweetheart,”  Dean laughed almost humorlessly. It was too late to hang up now, so he could either lie to her, or he could tell the truth, he could tell her how lonely he really was and how much he regretted the day he’d left her all those years ago. “I’m-uh… I’m thinking about coming by and seeing you for a few days. It’s been a long time, and I just… God Y/N, I just really want to see you again.”

Your mouth fell open in shock. You could tell he’d been drinking by the slurred speech, but it was almost as if you could hear the cry for help in his voice. 

“You know you're always welcome here Dean. I told you years ago, and it still stands today, you can always come home.”

Dean swallowed the lump in his throat as the tears started to flow freely down his face now. “So you never moved on? No, Mr Right?” Dean tried to sound like he was joking, but honestly, he just felt like he sounded weak. Still, he had to know. 

“No Dean, I told you-it was you, and it would always be you,” you said, drying tears of your own away with the sleeve of your shirt. “I still love you, Dean, I always will. No matter how dangerous you say it is.”

Dean was about to hang up and tell you it was a mistake, but you had to go and say that. The internal battle was still raging inside of him, but dammit if he wasn’t tired of fighting it.

I'm a lost cause Baby, don't waste your time on me I'm so damaged beyond repair Life has shattered my hopes and my dreams I'm a lost cause Baby, don't waste your time on me I'm so damaged beyond repair Life has shattered my hopes and my dreams

You talked to Dean until he had passed out with the promise he’d see you in the morning. He told you over and over again that you should hang up on him, that you should rightfully tell him to fuck off, but you refused to. So now you stood pacing the front porch of the address you had texted to his phone last night. Praying, hoping that you’d see that beautiful black Impala that haunted your dreams pull down your driveway. 

Some of the things that he’d told you last night that he’d been through were horrific and you knew he wasn’t the same man he was all those years ago, but you also knew he still had the same soul. He saved you all those years ago, and now, it was your turn to save him. 

You didn’t breathe easily until you heard Baby’s engine purr and saw her coming down your street. It took all you had not to run to meet him halfway, and when he got out of the car, he said nothing, just wrapped his arms around you and pulled you tight into him-like you were a lifeline, and if he let you go, he’d never surface again. Little did you know that it was exactly what he felt.

“You’re home Dean,” you told him through broken sobs of your own mixed with his. 

And he was. Finally, someone decided he might just be worth saving too, and he was glad that it was you.

Forever Tags: @deanwanddamons @rvgrsbrns @bi-danvers0 @onethirstyunicorn @i-love-superhero @akshi8278 @lyss-dw79 @magssteenkamp @lemondropirwin @squirrelnotsam @hobby27 @spnbaby-67 @mrsjenniferwinchester @defenderrosetyler @screechingartisancashbailiff @thecreatiivecorner  @aflamboyanceofgays @vicmc624 @busy-bee-angel-misska @justanotherwinchester @brilovesdeanwinchester @idksupernatural @lyarr24 @amandamdiehl @love-jackles-37-blog @miraclesoflove @waywardsistershy @emoryhemsworth @dean-winchesters-gardian-angel @softsebastian @tatted-trina6​ @deanmonandnegansbitch​ @hayleeharling​   @flamencodiva​ @coldmuffinbanditshoe​ @bxbyizzy​ @rain-dance-goblin​ @itmejado​ @supernatural3002​