#everyone follow him and send him money to get a name change

[leavesandbounds]

Shiny bunny recognize shiny bunny

(Sketch/lineart by @isa-ah)

[husbandhoshi]

title: ghosted pairing: seungcheol x f!reader wc: 6.1k, mature/18+ only! tags: based on this drabble. porn with a considerable amount of plot, fwb to lovers, rich guy!cheol, yn is able to be picked up. horrible terrible excessive amounts of fluff. smut tags below the cut. everyone say thank you to @wuahae for reading this over :)

smut tags: softdom!cheol, unprotected sex, oral (m and f receiving), spanking/biting, yn has hair that can get pulled, mild ass play, boob stuff, fingers in mouth.

--

you think you have seungcheol's number memorized.

well, you definitely should have by now, with how many times you considered deleting it. instead you ended up changing his contact name, first to seungcheol club, which is where you met him. second time--rebound guy. the third iteration, your roommate had made it DO NOT TEXT, and you had left it like that because she was probably right anyway.

for better or for worse, you are not very good at following instructions. you're two and a half weeks fresh off of a heart-to-heart with your friends where you agreed that no, the best way to get over your ex was to not get under somebody else, and yes, you should absolutely stop sleeping with a guy who brags about being a playboy.

so you deleted his number and your text history, and everyone swore up and down that this was a good thing.

and you're sure you were on the same page as them until about five minutes ago, when you were doing your laundry and you had come across one of his white button-up shirts.

(he let you keep it because he said you looked better in it than he did. that morning, before you left his place, he had buttoned it all the way up for you--don't want anyone else looking at you the way i do, he had said. plus, the amount of hickies he had left behind were in no way presentable to the general public.)

the effect this has on you is instantaneous and humiliating.

"fuck. fuck," you groan, now scrolling through your camera roll to look for literally any screenshot with his number in it.

there's one from back when he was rebound guy--he had sent you ten dollars in apple cash so you could buy a coffee when you said you were too tired to fuck. you ended up coming over that night anyway, and you both watched four hours of law and order until you fell asleep on his couch.

there are a handful from when DO NOT TEXT had sexted you in the middle of the workday, which you kept for posterity and nights alone with your vibrator.

and then, finally, a few weeks before that, when things were simple and he was just an unsaved number in your phone--hey, i know you ran out this morning, but i wanted to let you know i had a great time last night, if you know what i mean. even with the winky face emoji, it was a strangely wholesome text from a first time hookup.

you favorite the screenshot and curse the fact that you have never had good impulse control.

you up? i miss you.

the words fly so fast out of your fingers, you have no time to consider whether or not this is a good idea. you vividly recall the time he told you he had never seen the point of putting a label on a relationship, which was the whole reason your friends staged an intervention in the first place.

still, the white shirt on your bed taunts you. even thinking about it makes your head spin.

yeah. let me send you an uber.

that too--he had money, and he wasn't ashamed to spend it on you. between that and the dick, you don't think you're willing to squander your luck.

besides, seungcheol is still rebound guy. you're still getting over your ex, and he's just a quick fix in the meantime. you tell yourself this, and you keep telling yourself this until you're out the door, without a second chance to tell yourself otherwise.

--

"can't go long without getting your back blown out, huh?"

this is the first thing seungcheol says to you, oblivious to the fact that you were planning on forever ghosting him less than an hour ago.

"as if you didn't answer my text almost immediately," you laugh, letting him help you take your coat off.

"never said i wasn't happy to provide," he replies. his gaze is hot, sticky, like he's forgotten what you've looked like already. "i think it's been almost a month. i thought you got tired of me or something, you know."

"of course not. i...i got busy."

it's a half lie. the other half? you wouldn't dare admit it, but you missed his apartment a little. partly because it's much nicer than your own, but the bachelor pad decor was starting to grow on you. (and maybe the bachelor, with it.)

"work was good today?" you ask, letting him draw you in by the waist. his hands are so warm as he draws them up and down your sides, underneath the cotton of the thin shirt you have on.

"oh, please," seungcheol says, his grin now hovering right over your lips. "don't play innocent. you didn't come here so i could talk about my job."

he's right, so you let him kiss you. it's hot and fast and it tastes like his twenty dollar mouthwash, which you take small pride in because it means he would have been sleeping if his hand wasn't on your ass right now.

seungcheol has never been slow nor patient. your shirt has come off, and he now thumbs at the waistband of your jeans, grasping at the button to undo them.

"i don't think i even know what you look like with pants on," he says, lips dragging against the shell of your ear. "you always dress up when you come here, and it all ends up on the floor. pity."

you feel all the heat in your body surge towards your core. somehow your jeans are already on the floor and seungcheol's palm is fanned over the thin lace of your panties.

"thought about me the whole way here, huh?" two fingers are meanly sat over the seam of your cunt, pressing the damp fabric to your skin. "let yourself get all wet for me on the car ride?"

"maybe," you manage, not wanting to betray the embarrassment in your voice. you don't need his hand there to know how wet you are, and yet you know he's doing it to tease you anyway. he finds the bump of your clit over the fabric, now clingy and warm over your skin, and runs his thumb over it. "what else was i supposed to think about?"

"no need to be shy. can't lie with such a needy pussy." he chuckles as your thighs squeeze helplessly around him. "it's cute."

before you can protest, he pushes your panties to the side, now undoubtably soaked through, and his fingers find your clit again. it just takes two, three, rough strokes to draw the pleasure out of you like a fire in your belly.

"cheol," you whine. somehow things always end up like this--you, almost fully naked, and him, still with all his clothes on. he likes reminding you of it too, now enjoying the way you press against him, searching for skin. instead, you feel his cock under his sweatpants, right up against your thigh, and it only turns you on further.

your hands find his waist, but between the new welt he's sucked into your neck and the paralyzing feeling of his thumb on your clit again and again, you falter. your fingertips hover on the downy hair peeking over the band of his sweats, and you've never ached more to have him inside you.

that's all seungcheol needs to yank you back in line. "bed. now," he says, and you listen.

his apartment is big, and the walk feels dizzying as he follows behind you. what's even worse is that you can feel his eyes rake over you--he loves it. the humiliating stumble of your two left feet, the glistening slick at the apex of your thighs, how your panties cling to your ass, now ruined.

even now, as you clamber onto the bed like you're learning to use your limbs for the first time, he loves how easy you are for him. but you can't help it--no one fucks you as good as he does, and that was the reason he was rebound guy in the first place.

"face me," is his next command. at the foot of the bed, first, he pulls off his shirt, and your eyes wander first to his chest, then to the trail he's got down his stomach, teasing you as he pushes down his sweats.

one of his hands, strong and veiny, disappears under his waistband to play with his cock. you watch the slow flick of his wrist and see the shape of his length underneath the fabric, and you almost start salivating.

you're sure he's punishing you by now.

"you're staring, pretty girl. use your words." a turn of his wrist, and he groans. he might just make himself cum like this, and the notion that it wouldn't be somewhere inside you absolutely shatters the last bit of pride you had left.

"need you in my mouth, cheol," you whine, now sitting up straight against the headboard, as if looking any more pitiful would persuade him to join you.

and he does, just not in the way you want him to. instead, you watch his sweats fall to the ground before he kneels on the edge of the bed, on the end furthest from you.

"what, you think i'm gonna give it to you easy? after you made me wait for you?" you are not thinking straight enough to decipher what this means. who knew ghosting a fuckboy would have actual consequences, but you watch his grip tighten around the fat base of his cock and decide this is not the time to play detective.

so you swallow your pride and all your questions and you crawl. you crawl all the way down the seemingly endless length of his king sized bed, feeling seungcheol's gaze swallow you whole, and you like it.

when you stop at the foot of the bed, you take pause to look at seungcheol, really look at him. his eyes are dark, almost unrecognizably so--maybe it's the way you so readily make yourself perfect for him, arching your back just how he likes and letting your swollen, wet mouth fall open like you've never wanted anything more than him.

"so pretty like this," he coos. he runs a thumb over your bottom lip, feeling it quiver under his skin. you feel the saliva pooling in your mouth; it's as humiliating as it is desperate but you can't help yourself. it feels so good to be touched, and seungcheol's clings to you like nothing else.

he pushes his fingers into your mouth, almost to the back so you choke. you're at the point where you'll take anything, so you suck. you let your tongue run all over the digits, long and calloused enough that you can only dream of having them inside the other half of you. he pushes onto your tongue, wanting you to taste him, and you whimper, the feeling harsh but not unwelcome.

"dumb mouth just needs something in it, huh? my girl will just suck anything?"

you can't talk, so you whine around his fingers, feeling your pussy clench around nothing. he's been playing with his cock with his free hand, forcing you to watch him trace every vein with his own skin instead of yours. you hollow out your cheeks and suck him nice and tight, trying to fool yourself otherwise.

then he laughs, low and quiet--as fun as it is to slut you out, he's never been patient. "open wide, darling." he slides his fingers out from your mouth before pulling your hair out of the way. thank you, you want to say, but it's quickly washed away by the shock of his cock between your lips, rough but never too much so.

god, you didn't even think you liked sucking dick that much, but sleeping with seungcheol for this long must have altered your brain chemistry for the worse. his familiar, heavy warmth sits on your tongue, and you can't help but moan around him. you love the stretch of your jaw, the way his eyes always wrench shut no matter how in control he is.

"fuck," he groans, carding a hand through his hair. "slutty little mouth's made for me."

you hum around him, taking him all the way to where your nose skims the dewy curls on his abdomen and all you know is the scent of his heat. you're drooling so much, thanks to all the fingers in your mouth not too long ago, but you don't care. you run your tongue on the veiny underside of his cock, back and forth, savoring the hurt in your cheeks and all the spit on your chin.

seungcheol makes a low-pitched, strangled noise, the first time you've seen him crack tonight, and it sends another gushy wave of heat to your cunt.

you toy with his slit, let the salt of his precum fill your mouth, and suck hard around his cockhead. your scalp stings wonderfully with how he pulls at your hair, and you lean into the feeling. a deep breath through your nose, and you sink down again. the way he hits the back of your throat makes you yelp pitifully, but you persist like a dog to a bone. again, again, and you're gagging on your own spit as your throat spasms around him and you go cross-eyed.

he's all about control, but he lets you have this--perhaps he likes seeing you give yourself to him without him asking. he doesn't have to lift a finger, and you'll still choke around him, bruise your own throat. surely that had to mean something, but you'll chalk it up to some astrological sexual compatibility you're unaware of at the moment.

"enough," seungcheol finally says, voice gravelly, and he pulls you off him by the hair. "fuck, you probably would've cummed from that alone, huh?"

meanly, he reaches over your back to grab at the strings of your underwear so it digs into your cunt. you cry out, feeling the warmth of arousal leak all over your twitching hole, even between your ass. he's right--any more, and you really might have cummed all over yourself.

" 'm so wet, cheol," you plead, toes curling as he pulls the elastic of your panties further back. "please, please, please."

he releases the band, and it snaps hard against your skin. it feels like electricity as it connects with you, and you cry out again, the noise high-pitched and whoreish.

"gonna need you to face the other way if you want me to fuck you, darling," he says. "my baby likes it best from behind, right?"

you have nothing left in you but insatiable desire. you turn around to face the headboard, still on your hands and knees. seungcheol runs a careful hand down the curve of your spine before landing a hard slap on your ass. your skin sings, and all the blood in your body feels like it's been turned to fire.

"cheol," you warble, pressing your face into the sheets. your pussy actually hurts from how neglected it is, and when the second slap comes down, your clit aches like a bruise. "need you so bad...can't believe i went so long without you."

the words just fall out of you but you think they're true regardless. you were really fooling yourself thinking you could go the rest of your life without this. somewhere deep inside you, in the working part of your brain, you wonder if he's come to the same conclusion. that underneath the show, all the greed and the meanness, he missed you too.

"you must really need to get fucked," seungcheol chuckles. "you've never been this nice to me."

"not true," you protest, muffled by the sheets, and he laughs again. then he peels your underwear down your thighs before spreading your ass underneath his palms, and the cool air makes you twitch under him.

"you smell so fucking good. fuck." he groans, low and desirous, and it's the last thing you register before you feel the swell of his nose, his lips, as he buries his face in your cunt.

it's all too much at once--it rips a squeal out from your chest, one of those slutty, loud ones he loves, and it spurs him on further. you feel the wet pressure of his tongue, first between your folds, then up to the tight ring of your asshole, still messy with your arousal.

"o-oh my god," you cry. the pressure in your belly is now wound tight; you're so, so close and he's barely even started. he seems to know this, and deprives you of his mouth in lieu of his two fingers. the change in sensation is instant and toe-curling. something, anything, is finally inside you, and it's better than anything you have ever known. he drags the pads of his fingers brutally over your g-spot, loving the way you cry and tremble beneath him as your orgasm builds.

"have you had enough, pretty girl?" seungcheol asks, voice cruel, teasing. it's a rhetorical question--before you know it, his fingers are gone, and you instead feel the length of his cock between the curve of your ass. he's got a hand between your shoulder blades, pinning you down, just so he can see you struggle to push yourself against him.

"n-no," you reply, voice catching in your throat. you feel the head of his cock against your slit, and your thighs tremble with anticipation. not good enough. it only takes him a few times, rocking against your cunt, for you to crumble. you ask for things you can't even remember, and it's then when he pushes into you, so meanly you really do forget what words mean.

seungcheol swears under his breath, and his grip on your ass feels tight enough to bruise. your cunt flutters around him, god, you forgot how fucking big he is, but he doesn't give you much time to get used to it. his pace is unforgiving, and his hips slam into your ass like he's trying to fuck the sound out of you.

"cheol," you hiccup, listening to your voice jolt with every thrust. " 'm so full...."

"yeah? you like how i fill you up?" he squeezes your ass hard, and you moan into the sheets. "better than anyone else?"

"o-only you," you reply, slack-jawed at the feeling of being split open so well and the delicious, unending drag of him against your walls. "just you."

this seems to satisfy him. he enters you, deeper still, until it feels like he's in your stomach.

"so fucking tight," he says, from somewhere deep in his chest. "you need me to stretch you out like this every once in a while, yeah? you take it so well, pretty girl."

all you can do is moan his name. it's what you've been doing, and at this point, it's the only word you know. he bottoms out again, and the pleasure is so white-hot it feels like it burns.

it only takes two, three, punches into your cunt for you to come undone. you're gushing, gushing around him, babbling something incoherent, and still he is unrelenting. you feel your mouth move in an attempt to tell him you're too sensitive, and he only shoves his cock deeper in you so he can feel you clench hard around it.

then he pushes your head into the sheets, deeper still so the neighbors won't write him up in the morning, and fucks you again. you foolishly think another orgasm will break you, but all it takes is for him to press his thumb into the dip of your asshole and tell you he's going to fuck you in both holes one day for you to fall apart again.

by the time he's done with you, your legs feel boneless and you don't even want to think about the situation between them. (you had asked him to cum in you, and he did. there was so much, he had to push some back into you with his fingers, and you cummed one more time.)

you feel seungcheol's dead weight slump onto the bed beside you. you're still face-down, but you turn as far as you can to look at him. it's unfair how he still looks good now--his bangs, dark and curly with sweat, crown his forehead, and you watch his long eyelashes flutter shut.

"fuck," he groans. "how does every time with you get better?"

somewhere inside you, in the parts that still work, you feel a small gleam of pride. it feels traitorous, in a way--the whole point of being friends with benefits was that it was supposed to be conditional, but you're running out of conditions. clearly, it didn't take much for you to come back and not regret it.

seungcheol laughs at your silence. "did i break you? no," he jokingly whines, and he rolls onto his side to return your gaze. he brings a hand up to brush the hair out of your eyes, as if that would somehow magically repair your body. but it does feel nice. "please speak."

"maybe broken. to be determined." seungcheol grins stupidly when you say this, and you watch how his eyes crinkle up at the sides.

usually, it's every man for himself at this point in the night. seungcheol will order takeout and draft some emails, and you hobble over to the bathroom so you can pee and use the shower. he leaves you alone for this part, which is the perfect opportunity to mix all his fancy shower gels together like you're a kid again.

but today seems different. you lie there for a beat in silence, watching each other blink. then seungcheol gets up, slowly then all at once, and walks over to your wrung-out body.

"i'm picking you up," he says, like a warning. "hopefully you're not afraid of heights."

you think he's joking until you feel the strong cords of his forearms--one around your middle and the other under your legs. you didn't even think you were able to be picked up at this point in your life, but somehow he's got you flush against his chest now, almost nose to nose with him.

"wait," you waver, suddenly feeling self conscious about literally everything. you're sticky and smelly and you're not curious to find out if your post-coital form will scare him away. "seungcheol."

"you really plan on walking yourself over to the bathroom? you couldn't make it to the bedroom earlier, and i hadn't even fucked you yet."

"hey!" you protest. he laughs, and you can feel his whole body shake. "wait, i can't laugh too much, or i'm gonna start leaking."

"you've got another thing coming if you think i'm afraid of a little body fluid."

seungcheol bumps the bathroom door open with his ass, which is somehow the funniest and most endearing thing to you. you flip on the light, and he sets you on the counter like it's just a normal friday night for the both of you.

he turns the shower on and turns back to look at you. "how hot do you want it?" then his eyes narrow playfully. "are you one of those freaks who likes getting their skin boiled off?"

"well, you can answer the first half of that question on your own."

"ok. freak."

while he messes with the shower knobs (he's got one of those showers with three separate showerheads), you take a moment to do some more snooping. the first time you were here, you did go through the various things he had on his counter. most of them are still there--the overpriced moisturizer you shamelessly use when you stay the night, a quarter-full bath and body works foaming soap, and a folded up hand towel with his initials on it.

there are some newer additions too. you don't miss how the little jar for your toothbrush is still there, or a small tube of lip gloss you had forgotten to take back a few months ago. he restocked the hand lotion that you said you liked, too.

you're starting to think that there is a small possibility that you are no longer friends with benefits. you're not dating either, but something somewhere in the middle. but how do you say something like that? how would you know, especially when seungcheol is a self-proclaimed forever bachelor who may never, ever date?

you have no time to think about this any further.

"sooo," seungcheol hums, wiping his hands with a bath towel. "i'll be in the bedroom. you want me to order chinese?" you watch him linger around, lamely, like a stray dog.

"wanna join me?"

he smiles, ear to ear.

"thought you'd never ask."

--

morning comes slowly.

you wake to birdsong and the quiet chatter of the city beneath you. the sun from the curtains is buttery and warm on your bare skin, and time seems to drag its feet. it feels perfect, which is a word you would have never used in relation to any of this, and yet nothing else seems more appropriate.

last night, after your shower (in which you learned that seungcheol always makes his hair into a shampoo mohawk, without fail), you talked for hours over the fattest spread of takeout you had ever seen.

the plan was to put on the office and dissociate like usual, but he finally answered your question about how his day at work was. (tumultuous and drama-filled--that was his first mistake. you love drama.) strangely, by the end of the night, you learned that you had more in common than you thought with a man whose watch collection was valued higher than your entire college education.

"you up?" seungcheol's morning voice comes out sounding like a croak from behind you. you're sure he's about to complain that his arm is asleep from your big head on it, but he doesn't. instead, he settles deeper into your warmth and pulls you closer by the waist.

"yeah," you reply, enjoying the feeling of his skin against your own.

you grab your phone from the nightstand, wondering if your roommate has discovered your betrayal and has blown up your phone. she has, so the two voice memos and twenty text messages in the group chat are no surprise to you.

what is a surprise is the text you get from your ex. can we talk? it reads. it's the first time you've heard from him in months--before that, he had broken up with you (over text) and then proceeded to block you on every platform possible.

your mind starts to spin. you'd be lying if you said you didn't want to text him back. just for closure's sake, you tell yourself, as if you haven't cried at least seven separate times about this. but you will admit, seungcheol has been a great diversion. you don't remember the last time you had a cry, and any progress was good progress to you.

complicating things, said diversion has slotted a leg between yours, and his hand has found its way to your ribcage, distractingly close to your chest. such are the consequences of only wearing a shirt to bed.

"you're so warm," he murmurs, right in the space where your neck meets your shoulder. his hand creeps up, now right over your heartbeat. it doesn't really take much for your body to respond--his fingertips find your nipple, and with a light squeeze, you're already arching back into him. "is this ok?"

"yeah," you breathe. you're distracted, but you figure the best way to un-distract yourself is with a new, better distraction.

now emboldened, he rolls the skin between his fingers, finding he loves the way you shudder underneath him. quickly, he moves out from behind you to hover over you instead, propping himself up by his forearms, and pushes your shirt up over the swell of your tits.

"you good?" seungcheol asks, lips flush to the skin over your heart. he presses another wet kiss to one of your nipples before taking it into his mouth.

"yeah, why?" you have half a mind to hold his head down so he can't ask more questions and ruin the point of being a distraction in the first place.

"dunno." he switches to the other side, licking over a mark he's bitten into your skin. "you looked at your phone and you seemed worried. also, you're frowning, and it's not a sex frown."

damn. you guess you're easier to read than you thought. you don't even have the heart to ask what the fuck a sex frown looks like.

seungcheol's mouth returns to your nipple, and he sucks hard, making you gasp into your palm.

"my ex," you tell him. there's no point in keeping it a secret. the first time you slept together, you had made it clear what your intentions were, which is what made this arrangement work so well in the first place. "he wants to talk or something."

"that asshole?" then another suck, and you keen into him. "you're too good for him."

it's literally one of the three appropriate responses he could have chosen from, but it still feels like a compliment to you. almost too much so.

"yeah. i guess." your voice sounds more wobbly than you'd like, but you chalk it up to the fact that he's now pressing his lips down your middle, all the way down to your core. "hey, i'm ticklish."

"i know." he kisses your belly button, and you smile in spite of yourself. "you smell good, by the way."

"it's your forty dollar body wash," you remind him.

"damn right it is." you feel his breath fan over your thighs, and your stomach flips with anticipation. "legs over my shoulders. you know the drill."

"you don't have to do this, you know," you say, before immediately regretting it. you have a spectacular knack of self-sabotage, which you think seungcheol knows by this point. "you've been really nice to me."

"am i not allowed to like being nice to you?" seungcheol jokes. "would you prefer me to be mean?"

"no," you laugh. you don't know how to ask what he meant. what made yesterday and today so different? it feels like you're on the edge of something, coming close to what you could only describe as more than casual affection, more than desire. "go back to being nice. forget i said anything."

you put your legs over his shoulders, like he asked. one good orgasm wouldn't solve the ex problem or this new seungcheol problem you are starting to discover, but it sure would help you think more clearly.

his lips are soft on you. he has none of the urgency or greed of yesterday; instead, he takes his time with you. his mouth skims over your inner thighs, lightly, drawing out all the breath from your lungs. you make a small noise of impatience, and you feel the stretch of his grin against you.

before you have a second chance to complain, you feel the heat of his open mouth over your cunt, as to drink your taste up. then his tongue, warm, insistent, on your clit, circling it before he sucks.

"o-oh, fuck," you whine, voice muffled by the back of your hand. it feels too early to be loud, and you're already embarrassed by how sensitive you are.

"don't text him back," seungcheol says. he's replaced his mouth with two fingers, now leisurely teasing you at your entrance.

"don't worry--" you manage to say this before he crooks the pads of his fingers into you, right at your sweet spot, and the words are stolen from you. "--about him."

"i'm serious." he laps at your cunt, and with his fingers still buried in you, the feeling makes you dizzy. "did he ever make you feel like this?"

"n-no," you whine, now with your palm shoved right against your mouth. he's added a third finger now, and the stretch is so good, you're going cross-eyed. "never ate me out."

"what?" you hear him tsk between your thighs as his fingers still. "he's missing out."

it's then that seungcheol must have resolved to give you the best head of your life, because you think you black out after that point.

his lips return to your clit, and the pleasure is so startling, you can feel your thighs squeeze shut around his head. unfazed, he continues to pump his fingers in and out of your hole, still fluttering, unused to the size.

"close, 'm so close," you mewl, hips now lifted to chase his tongue. he indulges you, gives you the flat of the muscle to grind against as he stuffs you full.

your other hand finds his hair, and it only takes a moment, a slight pull, for him to moan into your heat--the sound breaks something inside you, and you're gasping, crying out with your high. by now, there are marks from your teeth in your palm, but something about the sting only makes the feeling better.

seungcheol stays sealed to your cunt, removing his fingers only to replace them with his mouth, eager to taste you. he lingers until you're shaking and whimpering, spent from your orgasm and too sensitive to endure another.

he looks up at you, swollen lips and bedhead made worse, and a surge of affection overtakes you.

"kiss me," you tell him, and he does.

it's long, and it's slow, not even close to any of the ones you've had before. you wrap a hand around the back of his neck, and he sighs. you don't think he's ever done that before.

when he pulls back to look at you, it feels as though the air has changed. there are words pushing at your lips. this isn't casual anymore. it can't be, not with what just happened.

yeah, the sex is good, but the first thing you thought of this morning wasn't you or your saturday plans or how to endure the dismay of your entire friend group, it was about him. if didn't count for something, you don't know what did.

"seungcheol, i--" you pause. his eyes are so brown, it's distracting you, and you start to second guess yourself.

"is it about your ex?" he interrupts. "if he asked you to get back with him, would you?"

it's not his question, but his insistence that takes you by surprise.

"n-no." you watch his gaze flicker at your hesitance, and you don't like it. "no, i wouldn't."

"good, because--" he pauses, seeming to gather his thoughts. you try to read his expression, but he can't even meet your eyes right now. "look, i know i haven't had the best track record with dating. i don't even think i know how to date."

"what are you saying?" you ask softly. there's a part of your heart that feels like it's peeling itself back, in a good way.

"i'm saying i want to try." and when you still look confused, he continues. "dating you. if you'd let me."

against all odds, past all the swirling, terrible emotions in your chest, there's a bright surge of relief, of joy. the last time you saw him look so vulnerable was when he reached into his oven to pull out a tray of cookies and burned his hand because he forgot a glove. maybe this whole thing would crash and burn, but you like him enough (honestly more than enough) to try with him.

so you smile, and you watch him frown and pout and look unbearably terrified, and you smile harder.

"ok," you say, playfully feigning indifference. "you can try."

instead of replying, he kisses you again, and it's even better than the first one.

when you finally head out that morning, there's a lightness in your chest.

in the doorway, seungcheol pecks the top of your head before showing you his phone. "which emoji do you want?" he asks, completely seriously. "i want the blue heart."

you pull out your phone to find his contact, which still shows his plain number, just like old times.

"i'm unsaved?!" his jaw drops open like he's animated, and you laugh.

"gotta go," you tease. "see you later."

it's only in the uber home (that he called for you, of course), where you finally put in his real, government name, for the first time. finally, it feels a little more right.

choi seungcheol, it reads. with the blue heart.

[munsonsmixtapes]

Leave Us in Ruins

Eddie x reader, Steve x reader

Your relationship with Eddie becoming rocky as you discuss your future and when he begins to just tolerate you, he ends up sending you right into the arms of the person he always worried about.

cw: mention of pregnancy, Eddie and reader argue, hurt/no comfort

This is very loosely based on “Tolerate it” by Taylor Swift as well as the All Too Well short film. Special thanks to @the-witty-pen-name for letting me yap and giving me feedback!

The bed dips when Eddie’s sits on the edge, maneuvering himself so that he’s under the covers with you, pulling you to his chest. You bury your nose in his wet hair, giving it a whiff because for whatever reason, your shampoo smells a lot better on him.

His arms wrap around your tightly, giving you a squeeze like he does every night. It’s part of your nightly routine and you expect it every time he crawls into bed with you. He then follows that with a kiss to your lips, telling you how much he loves you before the two of you fall asleep.

You’re whispering in the dark even though it’s late and you both have work in the morning. But this is your safe space where you can tell each other anything. Your deepest fears. Your darkest secrets. And you know that Eddie will never judge you because that’s just not who he is.

“God, I wanna marry you,” you whisper and the giggles that have been falling from Eddie’s lips quickly fizzle out into silence and he hopes you can’t hear how loudly he’s just gulped. This is the moment he’s feared for so long and now it’s here and he doesn’t know what to say.

Bile is progressively rising in his throat and his mouth is so dry that he’s sure that no amount of water will help. He doesn’t know why he’s so nervous-well, maybe he does. The idea of marriage terrifies him. And it’s not that he doesn’t want to be with you forever, because he does. He just doesn’t like thinking about standing in front of all of your friends and family in an itchy suit, vowing that he’ll love you until death do you part.

He doesn’t get why it’s such a big deal, why everyone wants to get married. You’re already together, why spend all that money and time just for a last name change and a couple of rings. You’re already as happy as can be so why make this big life change when it really won’t alter anything at all?

“You do?” He asks, trying to play it cool, but the man is sweating bullets. He can’t just tell you how he feels right here, right now. He can’t break your heart before bed, that would be cruel. And Eddie isn’t cruel.

“Yeah,” you say, snuggling into his chest and he doesn’t even have to look at you to know that you’re grinning. He takes a deep breath, trying his best to get the courage to tell you the truth. Should be easy enough. It’s just like ripping off a bandaid. Except this one is going to hurt so bad, the kind that pulls off the scab, leaving the wound open.

But he doesn’t tell you the truth. He just says “Let’s go to bed,” and turns out the lamp, leaving you in complete darkness, wondering if it was something you said. You’re blaming yourself, hating yourself for bringing something like that up with no warning and now you just wish you could go back in time and take it all back. You didn’t mean it. You were just so caught up in your love for him that you just blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

But the longer you think about it, the more you realize that you didn’t actually do anything wrong. He was the one who fucked up in this situation. You told him how you felt and he just dismissed it, suggesting that you got to bed instead of acknowledging your feelings. He’s even gone as far as turning the opposite side and you didn’t even realize that he had let go of you.

You wrap your arms around yourself, the room feeling like it’s ten degrees colder and you’re freezing without his body to keep you warm. He’s slipping through your fingers and you don’t know what happened to make him behave so coldly towards you when not even ten minutes earlier, he was telling you that he loves you through fits of giggles. This is the first crack and eventually the entire thing is going to crumble into a million pieces, you can just tell.

“So you’re saying that you don’t want to marry me?” Eddie can see the tears in your eyes and it’s breaking his heart seeing you like that. You’re crying now and this isn’t one he can hug you through because this time, he’s the one that hurt you. He can’t kiss this one better and that’s what’s really fucking him up.

Something wet drops onto his shirt and it’s only then that he realizes that he’s crying too. He quickly wipes his tears then rushes to you to wipe your tears away too, but you step away, looking at him like he’s a stranger, because at this point, he is.

“It’s over, Eddie,” you tell him, crossing your arms over your chest as you turn away from him. This is it. It really is the end.

You’re getting further away and he’s running as fast as he can to get to you, but you eventually disappear into thin air. Eddie drops to his knees, sobs raking through him as he’s saying your name and the words “I’m sorry" over and over until they’ve lost all meaning.

Eddie wakes up in a cold sweat and lets out a sigh as he realizes that it was just a dream, he turns over in the bed to pull you to his chest, but your side of the bed is empty and cold. He hurries out of the bed and as he gets out of the room, he realizes that you’re just in the shower and he lets out a deep breath. So you really are still here and he didn’t fuck things up nearly as bad he thought he did.

He opens the bathroom door just as you’re turning off the water and as soon as he sees you, a wide grin breaks out on Eddie’s face, but yours stays the same. It’s weird, almost like he’s not even there at all. He reaches for the towel on the counter and hands it to you and you take it without a word. So you are mad. Message received.

You wrap the towel around your body then get out of the shower before pushing past Eddie to head to your room to get dressed for work. He follows you, completely understanding what’s going on, but he wants you to tell him so he can figure out how to fix it. In your two years together, you’ve never been this upset with him. But then again, he’s never been that much of an ass before so he supposes that he deserves it.

This is the quietest you’ve been since you’ve gotten together. There’s no sweet words shared between kisses and the worst part of it all is that you won’t even look at him. You just continue to get dressed like he’s not even in the room and with the way you’re treating him, he might as well not be. It’s so bad that you’re not even letting him pick out your shirt like you do every time he sleeps over.

“Did I do something?” Stupid question. He knows exactly what he did, he just doesn’t want to admit it. Because then he’ll realize that you’re anger is justified and then he has to accept just how badly he fucked up and he doesn’t to believe that he hurt you that badly.

“What?” You ask, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “No, you didn’t do anything,” you shake your head, putting on a smile and Eddie lets out a sigh of relief.

“But you took a shower without me.”

“That’s because someone turned off my alarm and now I’m running late.” You’re putting your shoes on as quickly as possible before grabbing your jacket and heading out the door to your room in a blur.

He’s hot on your heels as he follows you into the living area of your apartment, standing there expectantly as you put on your jacket and grab your keys.

“Lock up when you leave, yeah?” You ask, then slip out the door, not even kissing him before you go. You always kiss him before you leave. Oh, you’re pissed.

You take a deep breath as you exit the building, trying to calm yourself down so you’re bringing your anger into work. But seriously, not even an apology or acknowledgment that he fucked up? You don’t know who that guy is, but he’s definitely not Eddie. Eddie would have gotten onto his knees and begged for forgiveness.

This just doesn’t make any sense to you. You thought you really knew him, but you guess that the two years you were together were just a load of shit. You really thought you wanteds the same things but now you’re realizing that you really don’t know Eddie at all. Now he’s just a stranger to you now that you know that he never actually did want to marry you. He’s progressively becoming the kind of man he’s always claimed to hate and you’re not entirely sure what to do about that.

-

The living room is quiet except for the tv that’s playing a show rerun softly. You and Steve are lying on the couch. Your shirt is pushed up and his hand is rubbing your now large baby bump, looking at it so lovingly that you feel like you could melt. He’s been nothing but a sweetheart throughout your entire pregnancy. He’s just been there to help, not even asking for anything in return.

“What about Olivia?” He suggests. You’ve been suggesting baby names back and forth and this is the first one that he’s given that’s actually had potential.

“Hm,” you say. “Olivia,” you repeat. “Olivia Robin. Oh, Steve, that’s perfect!”

You wrap your arms around him and give a tight hug, pulling him as close to your body as he can despite your bump being in the way. He hugs you back instantly, burying his face into your neck, taking a chance and pressing a kiss to it. He knows it’s risky, but he just can’t take it anymore. He’s gotta show you just how he feels about you after all these years.

You pull back to look at him, your gaze shifting to his lips and he’s realizing that you want this too. Well, to kiss him, at least. Your hand rests on his cheek and you both lean in slowly until your lips meet. It’s soft and sweet and everything Steve thought it would be. He can finally go to sleep tonight knowing what your lips feel like.

He feels fireworks in the pit of his stomach and for once, it’s like everything between the two of you makes sense to him. This just feels right and he hopes that this won’t just be a one time thing.

-

The kitchen is silent besides the sounds of you and Eddie doing dishes. Tension between the two of you is high and you’re both so in your own heads, so convinced that you’re both right that you can’t even see the other’s side.

You can still see the scene in your head so perfectly. You can still feel his hand setting yours back down on the table, silently telling you that he didn’t want to hold it like he always does.

And he doesn’t even understand why it hurt you so badly, trying to play it off like it was nothing when it was everything to you. He sees it as simply just not holding your hand in the moment, but to you, the small crack in your relationship has become even bigger to the point where it’s almost shattered like you’ve been fearing for months.

He’s turned on some music to try and lighten the mood and it’s clear that he doesn’t even get it. He doesn’t know that what he’s done was wrong. And you’re not going to spell it out for him this time. He’s gotta figure this shit out on his own.

He takes the dish that you’re washing from your hand and pulls you in for a dance like he always does when you do dishes together. And even if you were upset with him, you’d still join in, not wanting to let the whole thing ruin the moment, but not tonight. You’re staying strong.

He’s trying to spin you around, but you just glare at him, the anger bubbling inside you like a pot that’s about to boil over.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, his eyebrows furrowing.

“What’s wrong? Eddie, you dropped my hand.” Your voice is small now, almost as if you can’t believe what you’re saying.

“Oh, that,” he says, waving the whole thing off like it’s nothing. He honestly doesn't even know what you’re talking about, the moment that you clearly so vividly remember that Eddie has absolutely no recollection of.

“Yeah, that.”

“I just didn’t want to hold your hand. Why are you being so dramatic?” That’s the final straw. Dramatic? Oh, if he wants dramatic, you’re going to give it to him.

You slip your hands out of his and watch his face fall then screw up into offense.

“Not so fun now is it?” You ask, raising an eyebrow as you cross your arms over your chest. “Why didn’t you want to hold my hand?”

“I don’t know, okay?” He asks, getting progressively more frustrated, just wishing that you’d drop it already. “I was just trying to have fun with my friends. Is that so wrong? I-I don’t know what the fuck you’re even talking about. You’re acting weird, y/n.”

“I’m not acting weird, you are. I mean, who the fuck even are you? Because the Eddie that I know would have held my hand the entire night and made sure to include me in his conversations, but you’re some stranger now so I guess I should lower my expectations.”

“What the fuck is going on with you? Why are you acting like this?”

“Like what? I’m upset by something that you did and now you’re trying to convince me that what I’m feeling is wrong.”

“You’re acting like a real bitch. God, it’s like I don’t even recognize you anymore. All you do now is complain about what I’m doing when you’re just setting your expectations of me too high.” The anger is building progressively and you can’t believe he’s trying to flip this on you. What have you done to Eddie except love him despite his flaws?

You only realize what you’ve done when you see Eddie press his hand against his cheek. It all happens so fast that you’re staring at each other in shock. Neither of you expected it, you least of all. You’re usually pretty good at keeping your cool, but hearing him call you a bitch filled you with a rage that you’ve only seen but never actually experienced until now.

With that, you turn on your heel, tears streaming down your cheeks, blurring your vision so that you can barely see when you run into Steve by the stairs.

You throw yourself into his arms, desperate for a shoulder to cry on. He’s been there for you your entire life, the one person who you can feel like you can go to for anything. He’s been so helpful these past few months as your relationship with Eddie has gone up in flames.

He holds you and runs his hands up and down your back the way he knows you like as he just lets you cry. He doesn’t think he should say anything right now. He already knows what happened and is sure that you just want a shoulder to cry on, no advice.

“Sorry, sorry,” you sniff as you pull away, grimacing when you see that you’ve gotten snot on his shirt.

“It’s okay,” he assures you. “Do you want to crash on my couch tonight?” All you can do is nod and he takes his jacket and drapes it over your shoulders before leading you out the front door, making sure to shoot Eddie a glare who’s watching the both of you from the kitchen. Eddie flips him off then storms towards the front door and slams it as soon as the two of you are outside.

Fuck this, he thinks. You two deserve each other. Even though Steve is his friend and even introduced him to you, Eddie’s always been worried about him and you being alone together. He trusts you, but he’s always been scared that Steve’s going to make a move with him being in love with you and all. He’s always afraid that one little moment between the two of you is going to be the reason why you’ll break up with him and he knows he deserves it.

He’s been nothing but a dick, progressively pushing you away more and more as the months have gone on. He’ll get into bed long after you’re asleep and will be gone before you get up. It’s like he’s purposefully ignoring you and he can’t figure out why. It’s like he knows this isn’t working and he wants to ignore the inevitable as long as he can. He can’t lose you. He just can’t. But seeing you leave with Steve, his jacket draped over your shoulders, it makes him realize that he’s pushing you into someone else’s arms and he’s going to beat himself up about this for the rest of his life.

-

You’re asleep when Steve pulls up to his apartment building having cried basically the whole ride there. The whole situation with Eddie clearly took a toll on you so he decides to let you rest, picking you up as gently as he can as he carries you inside the lobby.

He’s staring down at you as you sleep and hates how much he desperately wants to be the one to do this every night. But he lost his chance and then was forced to watch you fall in love with his other best friend while he had been pining for you for the majority of his life. And he loves that you’re happy but he’s still wondering what it would be like to be yours. But he doesn’t want to get between the two of you so he just sits on the sidelines and watches the two of you fall even more madly in love with each other as the days go on.

And he feels so selfish for feeling that way but he can’t help it. He’s been in love with you his entire life and has watched you date all of those other people, not even considering him to be an option. And it breaks his heart even more every time. Why isn’t he good enough for you? What has he done to make you not see him in a romantic sense?

He shakes the thought and gets to his apartment, struggling to get the door open but when he finally gets it, he carries you straight to his room, trying so hard not to wake you up. He lays you down onto the bed and takes off your shoes before putting the blanket over you and turning off his lamp.

Once he’s sure that you’re settled, he heads back out to the living room and grabs a blanket before lying on the couch, his bed for the night. He then turns on the tv to have some background noise, tossing and turning the entire night like he always does. Steve doesn’t think that he’s ever had a good night’s sleep in his life so why does he think tonight will be any different?

-

The next morning, you wake up to the smell of coffee that wafts into the bedroom that you immediately recognize as Steve’s. Of course he would insist that you take the bed while he sleeps on the couch. That’s just the kind of guy he is.

You get up and realize that you’re still in your dress from the night before. You must have passed out before you could borrow some of Steve’s clothes. You pull back the blanket and head into the kitchen where Steve is at the table eating a bowl of the cereal you remember the two of you eating as kids.

You sit down across from him and take a deep breath, preparing to tell him what you had been mulling over for weeks, months even. It had to come to this eventually right? These past few months have been so rough and as much as you don’t want things to end, you know they have to. They can’t keep going on this way. It’s not good for you and it’s certainly not good for Eddie.

It was a long time coming, you think, as Steve pours you a cup of coffee, fixing it with just the right amount of cream and sugar. He knows you so well and it hurts so much that you thought Eddie did too. You really thought he wanted to build a life with you. But now all of the fantasies of the two of you at the altar and rocking cradles are all being packed up into boxes along with the Eddie you thought you knew.

You don’t even know who he is anymore. Now all he seems to care about is getting promoted at the record store where he works and doing gigs with his band. He’s not making time for you anymore, not even leaving space for you in his bed when you come over, lying directly in the middle. It’s almost like he’s purposely trying to cut you out of his life and it hurts even more knowing that you were the one who did all of that for him. You got him the job at the record store. You lined up all of those gigs for him and now it’s almost like he’s tolerating you.

“I’m breaking up with Eddie,” you tell Steve, almost too quickly, but you’re just trying to rip off the bandaid. The quicker the better. But as you rip it off, the wound starts to bleed, badly, so overwhelmed with the pain and the finality of your words that you just sit there, silently pleading Steve to respond.

He’s so shocked by your words that he ends up letting the coffee overflow and spill out onto the table. You’re quick to stand up and hurry to the sink to grab some paper towels and wet them before coming back to clean up the mess because he’s clearly too stunned to do so.

“You’re what?” He asks as he sits back down, trying to wrap his head around the whole thing. He knew you were going through a rough patch, but you didn’t think it was bad enough to warrant a breakup. God, this is going to kill Eddie.

“I’m breaking up with Eddie,” you repeat as you continue to wipe up the spill, more confidence in your voice this time. You say the words so nonchalantly as if you’re telling him what you’re going to order for lunch. This is big news and it’s almost like you don’t even care.

“I thought things were getting better.”

“Well, they’re not,” you huff, maybe scrubbing the table a little too hard and now Steve is concerned that you’re going to remove the finish. “You saw the way he treated me last night, Steve. I deserve better.” It’s so jarring having his own words thrown back in his face. He’s told you that so many times with other guys, but he never expected to hear it coming from you about Eddie of all people. This is all too much to take and now he suddenly feels the need to lie down.

He doesn’t know why it seems like he’s the one who’s being broken up with. Maybe it’s because in a way, he is. When it comes down to it, he’s eventually going to have to pick a side. And as much as he loves Eddie, you were there first. God, he feels like a child whose parents just told him that they’re getting divorced.

He’s already going over in his head about what he’s going to say to him, how he’s going to be there for you, how mad Eddie’s going to be. He doesn’t care about that, though. Steve was your friend first and the two of you are a package deal. Eddie knew that going into this.

“I’m so sorry, y/n. This fucking sucks. I-I really thought you were going to be together forever.”

“Me too,” you reply, feeling tears prick your eyes. Steve turns you to face him and wipes your tears with the pads of his thumbs before standing to pull you into his arms, rubbing your back sympathetically as he lets you cry into his chest. For the first time in years, it’s going to be the two of you and even though he should be happy, he just can’t be knowing that you’re so broken up about the whole thing.

-

Three minutes. Three minutes until you get your life altering results. You stand at the bathroom counter, breathing in and out deeply as you look at the little test in front of you. You stare at it, hoping that the results will show up sooner but you still have over two minutes left.

The anticipation is killing you and you’re not sure how you’re going to cope if it’s not what you want. You’ve always wanted kids; being a mother is something you’ve wanted to be your entire life and knowing that that tiny stick is holding your future is starting to make you sick.

The floor in the hallway creaks and you turn to your left and see Steve leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest as he gives you a wide smile. He then enters the bathroom and pulls your back to his chest, wrapping his arms around you as he rests his chin on your shoulder. He reaches towards the counter to turn the timer against the wall before lifting his head to smile at your reflection. It’s all teeth and it reminds you of his old school pictures, always smiling so wide that his cheeks hurt.

“You’re gonna be a mom,” he says, his tone nothing but loving.

“You don’t know that,” you roll your eyes. “It could be negative.” Steve laughs at that. You’ve been like this all morning, waiting for him to get home from work so he could be there when you took the test. There was no way he was missing this.

“I’m sorry, I’m just excited.” He has been looking forward to this probably more than you have. He’s wanted kids just as much as you have and now he’s going to have a chance to raise one with the woman he’s loved since he was six years old. He’s dreamed about this for years and can’t imagine doing this with anyone else.

“Well of course you are,” you turn around to glare at him. “You’re not the one who has to carry the thing for nine months.” You didn’t even think about getting pregnant this soon. You wanted to be settled down first, married, even. But one missed period later even after being so careful, your life is about to change one way or another. Even though you can’t even imagine having a baby right now, you keep thinking about how heartbroken you’ll be if it’s negative.

“No, but I can get one of those fake stomachs if that will make you feel any better.” Steve has been there with you through everything. As soon as you told him that you missed a period, he ran to the store and got you the best pregnancy test on the market, according to an employee he asked. And then he went to work at the bar before you could take it so here you are at five in the morning, not-so-patiently waiting for the results.

“I’m sorry, you’re being sweet. I’m just nervous. There’s so much riding on this and-” the timer goes off and it’s like everything is in slow motion. You turn to the text and cover your eyes before holding it out to Steve who has to put his glasses on to even see it. The gasp he lets out makes everything so obvious and you have to turn the test around to confirm that he’s not just fucking with you. But sure enough, there it is, the faint pink plus sign. The one you wanted so badly to see.

“Congratulations, mama!” Steve says as he picks you up and spins you around, giggles pouring from both of your mouths. This is it. You’re getting exactly what you wanted and you get to do it with your best friend. The only person you can imagine spending this next chapter of your life with. For the first time in years, you’re finally starting to feel like yourself and nothing, absolutely nothing can change that.

[fuctacles]

Small world indeed

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

@genderthings Stobin at Work: fantasy job T | Platonic Hellcheer and Stobin, pre-steddie and buckingham | summer job time!

Finally, they have a little reprieve from the sadness that is Hawkins. Eddie didn't expect Chrissy to follow him, but once she learned more about renfaires there was no talking her out of it. Her parents still thought it was a summer camp job, which wasn't far from the truth is a summer camp was catering mostly to adult nerds. 

The pay was shit, but the real reason Eddie was there was being immersed in the small renfaire village, living there and eating for free. Money was secondary on his priority list. Once he found out he could attend for free in exchange for help, he called the organizers and got himself the best job imaginable right after being a successful musician. The boys had their summer mostly planned out but Chrissy decided to join him.

They park the van in the designated parking space out of view, where it won't ruin the medieval scenery. There's only a few other cars there, as the fair is still a couple of days from opening. Its mostly other vans and trucks, except a familiar Bimmer. But Eddie is probably just paranoid. There's no way Harrington was here, miles from Hawkins at a renfaire. 

"You the newbies?" a short woman greets them at the gate, already dressed in hobbit-like garbs. Eddie could start crying at the spot. 

"Yes, we're new. I'm Chrissy and this is Eddie," Chrissy has to introduce them, since her friend has gone speechless. 

"I'm Marge, nice to meet you!" the woman checks something off in her notepad. "The others are already here and waiting for the briefing." Marge motions for them to follow. "I'll show you to the staffs tent, it's where we hold meetings and have meals. Artem will tell you everything." She holds the flap of the tent open for them to walk through. 

Only, Chrissy stops in her tracks and Eddie runs into her back. 

"Chrissy?! Are you the other new hires? Oh my god!"

It's Robin Buckley's excited voice.

Eddie instinctively tries to hide behind Chrissy's tiny friend, because where's Robin...

"Eddie? Holy shit guys, we thought we would ran into you at this nerd festival, but as co-workers? Oh, this is gonna be great!" Steve grins at him, visible from under Chrissy's armpit. 

"You know each other?" Marge peers around them to look inside the tent. "That's sweet, most of the staff are friends." She smiles at them. "I'll go grab Artem." With a gentle pat on the back, she sends them stumbling inside. 

"What are you guys doing here?" Eddie croaks out when Steve lifts him in a tight hug. 

"We thought we could do something fun for a change," Steve shrugs, putting him down.

"Yeah, constant cleaning and waiting tables is a bummer." Robin sticks out her tongue. Her arm is looped around Chrissy's.

"And we get discounts, I thought I could treat Henderson to some nerd stuff when he's back from his other nerd camp."

"That's very nice of you," Eddie offers weakly. 

"Everyone here?" A new voice comes from the entrance, and a burly man with an impressive beard comes inside. "My name is Artem and I'll be your chief," he introduces himself. "Hope you're ready for three months of nerdy fun."

Chrissy and Eddie exchange panicked looks. More like three months of torturous pining. If they put Steve in a linen tunic, there better be a healer nearby.

Tags: @blasvemous @wheneverfeasible @phantomcat94 @eyehartart

[briz-z]

Reverse falls

okay, so the brainrot has gotten to me and i literally cannot stop thinking about reverse falls. so here's my take on it. (or at least the pines) (also, im using their actual names)

Stanley:

everything stays the same up until he's kicked out of his house

see, my thought is that along with becoming a master con-man, he also ends up joining a circus

this is the big change

he begins to look for new ways to make the circus more enticing for people, and in doing so makes a crap ton of money

in fact, he makes so much, he is welcomed back into his family

like he becomes rich

but back to the circus business, he hears about gravity falls and all of it's anomalies

he decides to set up shop there, bringing people from all over to see the weirdos and wackos of gravity falls

in gravity falls, he ends up meeting his brother again

their strained relationship doesn't get much better (and i honestly don't expect it to...)

when he meets dipper and mabel for the first time, it is like light has been let back into his life

he really cares for them, but doesn't show it

he is especially close to mabel (like in the show) (they relate to each other)

i think he would be ever so slightly scared of ford and dipper

i think he would still be a very lonely person, but caring nonetheless

stanford:

i think that reverse ford would be a possessive, narcissistic person

filbrick pines put a lot of pressure on ford to be "perfect"

this seriously messed him up

when he lost his potential scholorship, he felt like his whole life was ruined

he decided that he would be better than everyone else

and he succedded in that

he was crazy smart and got the grant to study analmoies like in the show

when he gets to gravity falls, though, that's when it changes

when he finds bill, instead of being mauniplated, he's the one to manipulate bill

he becomes obessed with power and control

when stan comes into town, ford is pissed

but he sees how stan and his circus act could benefit him

so he basically becomes a mastermind in control

the circus brings about new people to perform experiments and what not on

mabel:

unlike the show, i think the kids would have gone to gravity falls since they were kids

this change happens because stan is let back into the family and ford never got sucked into the portal

anyway, mabel and dipper become performers for stan's circus, at least during the summer

they are known as the "physic twins"

mabel seems like a happy go lucky person, like in the show, but in reality she is not

i think that she would be a deeply sad person (if that makes any sense)

see, unlike her brother, she isn't as "special" and because of this often feels worthless

this lets her bond with stan, like, a lot

but anyway, because of her "job" i don't think she would have a lot of time to make friends or have crushes

even when she does have downtime, she has to worry about her image and how people see her

after all, they are the "physic twins"

unlike dipper, i don't she would involve herself in the supernatural much

she really just wants to be a normal kid, but because of her family, she can't

dipper:

i think that reverse dipper would be ford's apperentice

see, since birth dipper (or, i guess, mason) has been a genius

like crazy smart genius

so, when his parents hear about a certain great uncle who can help nurture this intelligence, they send dipper and mabel to gravity falls asap

here, dipper meets his crazy great uncle ford and immeditally loves it

both on stage and doing research, dipper is crazy enthusiastic

he loves what he does, both research and being one half of the "physic twins"

he ends up making his own deal with bill, following in his great uncles footsteps

he spends his free time with ford, learning and gaining knowledge

on stage, he has an uncanny ability to charm people into doing what he wants

he cares for his sister, but rarely has any time for her (i think that if mabel ever tried to leave, dipper would go crazy)

he has very (one-sided) co-dependant relationships with his family (yes, this includes stan)

Okay, that's all for now 😮‍💨 sorry if there are any spelling errors or anything like that. i might make a part 2 with gideon and paz and bill… idk yet.

[dinozarr]

†⠀❝ LA LUNA ENAMORADA. ❞ ✶ SATORU GOJO !

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ♱

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀“STREETRACER!GOJO HEADCANONS.”

★⠀warning y disclaimers — fem!reader. streetracer!au. fluff. smut. sexfiend!gojo. pussywhipped. overstimulation. crying. overprotective!gojo. jealous!gojo. voyeurism. begging.

NOTEZ : i’ve had this in my drafts since forever now, but since my mutuals street-racer gojo post is what gave me motivation to actually finish and post it, credit to my bae, t🫶🫶 @satoruhour !! (if y’all saw that name change no u didn’t.)

STREETRACER!GOJO⠀⟡⠀that enjoys having you sit on the hood of his sleekly polished Royal Blue Nissan Skyline R34, admiring how your broad upper body complimented his teams bomber jacket so perfectly. the way you’d gaze up at him with the same mischievous grin, your plump bottom lip pulled between your silver teeth; all of it just had the man practically itching to drag you inside of his car and have at it like a pair of rabid animals. having a girlfriend that was close in height (6’2) to him was never something ‘toru thought he’d enjoy, especially when he favored cute and smaller things. yet, the moment he laid eyes upon you he felt as if he was unable to take them off, allured by your aura alone.

STREETRACER!GOJO⠀⟡⠀who makes sure you’re right there by his side at every track call he gets. whether it’s a nightly s-race, or even just a quick little d-race. you’re his prized possession, along with his precious skyline of course, so he wanted both of his babies there any time he claimed yet another awaited victory. no matter how many times he won (which was a sickening amount of times) he always had to have his promised victory kiss from you in front of everyone, his hands (consensually) scrounging your body until they landed on your ass with a slight squeeze, making sure everybody knew that you were his and his alone.

STREETRACER!GOJO⠀⟡⠀loves showering you in kisses no matter where you two are. you could be out at the mall shopping for beauty products, or even skin care, and he’d be all up on you like a lost fucking puppy. every step you take and he’s right there behind you, hand in your back pocket while he takes into account of every item you pick up. yes, he has a list of everything you have ever grazed your fingertips against, the man had money and nothing better to do than spend it on the woman he planned on marrying.

STREETRACER!GOJO⠀⟡⠀is the literal Webster dictionary definition of jealous. it’s not even funny. the moment he even feels another persons eyes on you he’s pulling you to his hip by your belt loop, a small yelp tumbling it’s way out of your mouth from his abrupt actions. the longing gaze that you give him is paired with a mean-mugging glare while he eyes down the person that dared look in your direction. he knew you were stunning but that didn’t mean other people were allowed to look at what’s his.

STREETRACER!GOJO⠀⟡⠀oh, my god, is this motherfucker not only deathly obsessed with you, but he jumps at every chance he gets when it comes to being intimate with you. even though you guys are always all over each other, like i’m talking 24/7 type shit, that didn’t matter because if given the chance he’d stay in bed all day just in your arms. the way his delicate fingers dance along your silky skin sends chills down your back each time, followed with a delighted hum of satisfaction.

STREETRACER!GOJO⠀⟡⠀he adores how your tight little cunt squeezes around him every time. the way you scratch and gnaw at his solid pecks causing a profound smirk the glide it’s way across the man’s smug face. there’s nothing more that he loved other than laying beneath you as you rode him dry, enjoying the eye candy that you are and seeing how his over-average dick sent you into spirals. when he wasn’t toying with your breasts, or allowing his hands to caress your body, he was biting his lip and watching as your eyes rolled so far back you swore you could see the afterlife.

STREETRACER!GOJO⠀⟡⠀who hated any position where you weren’t looking at him. doggystyle? hell fucking no, over his dead body. reverse cowgirl? he’d have murder on his mind. full nelson? you might as well call the police because someone’s getting killed for even mentioning it. you were his girl so he’d be damned if he wasn’t able to stare at your full beauty while pleasuring you so good that you saw stars. he absolutely loved missionary though. the way he’d roll his hips drastically slow just to watch your legs twitch with his hands tenderly outlining the folds of your pussy.

STREETRACER!GOJO⠀⟡⠀who, at some points, has been so eager to feel your walls wrapped around him that he’d make you go to the backseat of his Skyline and you two would be at it for hours. he could give less of a damn if you two were at a track meet, if people were so desperate to see you than they could watch as you bounced on his dick for all he cared. the fully tinted windows were the only modification you demanded he get if he wanted to fuck in his car, and let me tell you. that man got those fucking windows tinted within the next ten minutes, no joke.

STREETRACER!GOJO⠀⟡⠀that loves when you tie him up and make him beg for you. he already worshipped your presence alone, so hearing him beg and cry like some loser who doesn’t get any pussy was just the cherry on top of it all. he especially loved it when you’ve edged him so bad his entire body is twitching like a wind-up kids toy. he loved watching your hands pump his veiny dick, your thumb pressing the tip as he cried behind the gag you put in his mouth. the minute you’d take the gag out though, he was stammering and slurring his words as if he were a drunk white girl wasted off white claws. the tears that coaxed his eyes were nothing more than a victory gift to you, you allowing him to finally let his load out after sliding yourself onto him; nothing but pure enjoyment twinkling in your eyes as he looked up at you while crying like some baby.

NOTEZ : first post to my streetracer!au. any other ones i make for jjk characters will be within the same universe as this one, so be advised. and, enjoy, ofc !

ᶻ z Z ! © TAKST4Z — all rights reserved. mature discretion. please do not plagiarize or steal any of my works or graphics.

[nekrocomrade]

Thinking about a new Shadowrun OC, Prince

-30 (a fitting age to start thinking “Did I achieve nothing because I’m moving at my own pace, or because I’m stupid?”)

- Got a few secondary roles in shitty sitcoms.

- Also got some roles in old ads. Like in a blister ointment commercial.

- Huge and hugely fragile ego.

- Is making a lot of astonishing discoveries, for example- that riding public transport costs money.

- Possess illusion magic, mind manipulation, and spying spells.

- When he's upset, he won't show it, but that night he'll be sitting on the bathroom floor eating ice cream and crying.

- “Checking privileges? What’s that?”

- Throws a tantrum and wants to drop everything every time someone else gets more attention/recognition than him. or when Prince THINKS someone has gotten more attention/recognition than him.

- Tells everybody that he’s 27. Like he still has time to join the 27 club.

Some background:

Yuri Khlebnikov (street name: Prince)

Third and the youngest son of the owners of a large corporation (one of the daughter corps of EVO). He is 20 and 15 years younger than his siblings, grew up spoiled and was never denied anything, always considered the main cutie in the family. Got awakened at 14, when at the social gathering where Prince expected everyone to praise him for his first child role in some obscure sitcom, everyone turned their attention to someone else, which triggered a spectacular illusory explosion. Well, at least he’s got the attention he wanted.

In the following years he:

- Tried multiple times to get a higher education (musical, archeological, literature) but never managed to finish one.

- Tried to start a career as a singer in a dark-punk-weird-alt-wizard-blues-goth-metal-core band. Failed despite a significant boost by his parents’ money.

- Tried to start an acting career. Didn’t manage to go further than a few secondary roles and a few commercials. But you still can find his face on a foot deodorant commercial.

- Had some short but vibrant romance where it ended with him getting dumped and his ex running off with a lot of his money. Prince is trying to hang on, but after this he won't be ready for any romance for a long time to come.

Around his 30s his family situation changed drastically when one of his parents got assassinated in a car bombing, and another got terminally sick. And at this exact moment Prince started to suspect that he’s doing something wrong with his life. While talking to his siblings he shared that it would be so cool to become a shadowrunner, to be a legend in the underworld, oh how romantic would be!- and other such nonsense. And, to his surprise, his siblings (who used to roll their eyes on all his previous ideas) became very supportive of this venture. “Yes, brother, you can do it! That's a great idea! You'll be a legend!”. They bought him a fake SIN, a gun license, and sent a private jet on a one-way trip from Russia to Seattle. Prince is somewhat bewildered by this enthusiasm.

He spends some time in Seattle. There he improved his magical skills (primarily mind reading and mind control), and actually participated in one run. He managed to finish the run alive, but he realized that's very far from that romanticized dream of his. His dream is actually to lie on a private white sand beach and drink a cocktail from a coconut. All in all, Prince is severely disappointed.

While he was crying and eating ice cream about it, he got news about his second parent passing away and flew back to Russia for the funeral and the will reading. When his siblings met him they were strangely surprised to see him alive. Prince suspected something fishy was going on, and managed to read his sibs minds in secret. He learned that they wanted to get rid of him, and divide his part of inheritance between them. They planned an assassination, but decided that sending him towards a suicidal venture will keep their hands clean. And now he’s alive and back and in such an unfortunate moment just before the will is read. So maybe they'll get their hands dirty after all…

Prince got scared, panicked, packed up as fast as he could and ran away back to UCAS. That's how he actually had to become a shadowrunner.

[two-white-butterflies]

riptide | a. targaryen

Description: Aegon's friends wonder why he has all the coolest things, even though he doesn't have a job. Pairing: college-student!aegon/ceo!reader two

"Do you call someone a sugar mommy when they're younger than you?" Aegon scrolls on his phone, reading the thousands of messages that you sent to him. His brother's eye widens, placing the bottle of beer down the table loudly.

"So the person that your dating is a sugar mommy?" his brother insinuated, and Aegon freezes on his tracks. It was well known around the campus that he was taken, but no one knew by whom. They didn't even know if the person he was dating was a girl or a boy.

All that they knew was that they managed to leave gifts for Aegon everywhere around the campus. From flowers to handwritten notes, everyone was interested about his love-life. The professors had a running bet - some of them think that his lover is a politician, others think that they're an actress - but one thing was for certain, they didn't know who she was.

"I mean - you do change your wardrobe every season," the man pointed - staring at his brother's new coat. Aemond was a little jealous of his older brother - it must be nice to have some sort of power on your side. "It's called having flair," his brother snorts, while taking a swig of his beer.

"Flair requires money - and our father doesn't send us a lot of that." Aemond rolls his eye, reaching for his phone to scroll on his instagram. "I mean, good for you. It's hard to find money in this economy." Aemond sighs, leaning down on his chair.

He still had a few thousand dollars in his bank account - but he'd need to find a job in order to afford rent next month. "- just make sure that they're not a mafia boss, or something." the man teased, smiling as he sees a meme of Thomas Shelby on his newsfeed.

"I'd give the world if she was just a mafia boss," he mumbled, eyes drifting off to the gala that you were attending. You looked ravishing wearing that designer gown - too bad he wasn't there to dance with you, as he was occupied with another event.

"Are you following her on your instagram?" Aemond inquired - scrolling down his brother's 'following' list. Aegon's eyes narrowed, closing his phone and attempting to peek through his brother's.

"No," he lied - thinking that it would be enough to stop Aemond.

"Is she following you?" Aemond questioned - scrolling to the left to access his 'followers' list. "Can you stop stalking me?" Aegon glares and another sigh escapes his brother's mouth.

"Why can't you tell me? I tell you everything," he complained in a manner that only a little brother would. "I told you about Alys," he asserted, thinking that it would be enough to sway Aegon.

"She's a fucking cougar," Aegon cursed while rising to his feet.

"- as for my girlfriend, you'll know when we get married."

agn.high: i can't help, falling in love w/ u 💚

27 comments 2,971 likes

aemtargaryen: HINT 👀 - agn.high: she has two eyes

toelicker69: happy bday future sister-in-law 💗 - agn.high: she says thanks!! - aemtargaryen: how tf does helaena know?

Alexander_Gomez: NICE YACHT BRO 🫶🏾

Everyone was whispering behind his back - apparently a big box was brought in front of his apartment, and nobody knew what it was. "This one's big," Aemond remarked while helping his brother bring it inside their shared room. "The same thing can be said about me," Aegon joked - settling the box loudly on the floor.

He reaches for the phone on his back pocket, prepared to call you and ask what you gave him.

"Hello, baby." your melodious voice floods his senses, his stomach is filled with butterflies.

"Hey baby, I got a package - do you know what it is?" he asked, seeing no evidences of your address or name on the box.

A small laugh exits your mouth, and he could hear the chatter of the office from behind you. "You should open it baby, I got to go now." you smile while hanging up.

He places the phone back on his pockets, watching while his brother opens the box with an exacto knife. "I just hope it's not expensive enough to get robbed," Aemond crossed his fingers - lifting the top sheet of the styrofoam from the object.

A gasp escapes his mouth as he realized that it was the gaming pc that he was pining for. "Oh my god," he cursed, a smile paints his lips as he opened it further.

He made a mental note to thank you once your meeting was over.

(your name)'s story

@watercolorskyy

[captain-heartstrings]

Sending in this ask to say !! I would LOVE to read a ramble about the Polyverse plot and I am prompting you to use this ask to ramble /nf

FNF Polyverse plot is very convoluted because as I've said before. It's an RP run by like 7-8 people and we don't stop eachother from indulging. But I suppose I can explain it >>;

Ramble under the cut!

Our story begins YEARS before the actual events of FNF take place. On a computer owned by a really talented coder we named Admin for short. Admin is really good at what they do- they even made their own firewall.

What they didn't realize was the firewall was so well made it was actually Sentient.

Admin for unknown reasons, abandoned their dream of being a coder for a really long time, leaving their sentient firewall all on its own, and it gets really really lonely- deciding to act on its own according. It catches a virus- but instead of getting rid of it, it let's the virus stay- and eventually through contact to the firewall, the virus also gains sentience.

These two are Chaos and Order. The Virus and The Firewall.

Together, the two of them used the code leftover on the computer to make their OWN world. A game world. Their own personal Earth. On this Earth, they made a race of beings called The Ancients who had the ability to change their appearance by will alone. They were shape shifters! And for a awhile things were great.

Until The Ancient Civil War.

Half of The Ancients so closely followed Order's teachings of law and right and wrong that they thought the whole of earth should value Order more, the other half saw Chaos' teachings of self control and freedom as more important, and when their wills so strongly aligned, they would shift to look like Angel and Demons respectively.

Despite Chaos and Orders pleas, Angels and Demons fought long and hard- they killed eachother- destroyed the earth in the process. Till eventually the sides realized they were at a stalemate. Angels and Demons chose to flee- with EVERY Angel fleeing to a plane above Earth they created called Heaven and with MOST of the Demons fleeing to a plane far below it, called Hell.

The Ancient Civil War was put on hold- and while the two sides were away, Chaos and Order began to put earth back together. This time with more species and varying beliefs. Humans- robots- ectect. The demons were still there because of their whole "freewill" thing but it wasn't an issue without The Angels.

This is obviously where a lot of the plot splits off, as with more creations and the earth fully healed up like this, it's obviously where different arcs come into play with the other people RPing. However my arc was BFs.

The Angel's were PISSED that the demons were still occupying earth. They felt as though the stalemate wasn't really a stalemate and vowed to destroy them all- however how to do that? How to break a stalemate with a creature that's biologicaly as strong as you? New weapons.

So a good half of the angels gave up their form to create this giant biblically accurate angel toothpaste lookin ass glob of power named The Collective - in order to CONDENSE huge peices of their code to make more powerful bio weapons.

The first three failed as you might have guessed- the 5th was SO perfect, their PERFECT Hero, that they stuffed the 4th one that was being made along side him into a robot body to go down to earth with him.

This as might have guessed, was BF. or Keith as we call him.

Keith is the Angel's perfect angelic bio weapon, destined to be sent to earth to grow up and then slaughter everyone on earth the Angel's deem unworthy to be there.

But while Miku is off getting money to keep the two of them fed and happy as her programming is designed to do- Bf falls in love. With a lot of people. A Demon girl named Lucy, Aka Gf, who the collective would obviously not approve of as a demon, A flawed murderous man by the name of Pico, who's acts of violence outweigh many of his good deeds, and a Ghost/Demon hybrid named Eric who had been stuck in a video game for so long he honestly is an abomination.

But BF LOVED them. For their flaws. For their personality. Every part of them was something he cherished. So when Miku brought him to The Collective to explain his purpose, he turned them down. Refusing to be Their Hero. Insisting that Demons and Angels didn't have to fight like this.

But The Collective had been stuck together for so long that it corrupted them- they had no room to doubt their choices and ended up chasing BF and his partners out of heaven in this epic violent chase sequence- where it then tripped, and fell off the side of the plane. Falling deep into the code when Chaos and Order dismantled it.

Leaving the 4 Poly pals to love eachother on Earth among the other angels and demons who changed their minds.

All of that though is BFs arc! There's a few other arcs like how Skid and his dad The Eyes of The Universe needed to make up in order to stop Eyes from dismantling the whole code of the game- which is how we have so many duplicate modes characters like the remixs and aus, because Polyverse is technically filled with a bunch of Holes from The Eyes. And the Eddsworld arc where BF helped Tord reconnect with his friends. The Omori arcs where he got new siblings who adopted him from the crew of FNF characters. Ectect.

We did a lot. We're technically still doing things. That's how Silly Billy/Yourself was added recently. Every new mod is a new addition to Polyverse! ^^

[meaningofaeons]

Hi there my pal my buddy!!! It's ya boi anon again here! ✨

I was wondering if I can go for a cat cafe visit with your local businessman scammer ✨Sampo Koski✨ on my hands, oh and also I has slight anger issues slash denial /that I have crush for Sampo/ attitude when going with him /ᐠ - ˕ -マ/ oh we gone there to play with both orange Himalayan and Abyssinian cat, ended our time with drinking hot cocoa!! 😋 ((I HOPE I WRITE IT RIGHT 😭😭😭))

I think that's all, congratulations for your 500+ followers once again (you deserve that and more ngl!!💕) and thank you so much in advance!

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ not quite so slick

⊹ character(s) - sampo koski ⊹ word count - 1.0k ⊹ notes - gn!reader, fluff, silvermane guard!reader, belobog story spoilers, sampo being his dumb silly self as usual, sad pathetic pining on his end we love him here

⊹ katze's 500 follower writing cat-baret

HII!!! thank you for the sweet ask omg <3!!! you wrote it correct dw!! yes our favorite businessman def not a scammer....... huhu Σ(;Φ ω Φ) I hope you enjoy your "cat cafe date" with mr cold feet, mr koski himself !!!

Ever since the order to seal off the Underworld had been rescinded, your job had gotten a lot more hectic.

Well, that's not to say you were alone in that. Many of your fellow guards had been made to take on more work to pick up the slack after the crisis, and you were all spread thin.

However, Supreme Guardian Bronya had deigned to send you to the Underworld, of all places.

And a certain blue-haired "merchant" could not be happier about your newfound assignment.

"Well, isn't this just peachy! If it's any Silvermane Guard down here, I'd want it to be you, Y/N!"

"Enough with the flattery. I'm on shift, Sampo."

"Oh, come on, now! When do we get the opportunity to spend some quality time together like this? When the order was initially given, I was heartbroken—"

"Sampo, you were able to come to the Overworld anyways!"

"Doesn't change my feelings, my dear! I missed seeing your sweet face, and..."

You were forced to sit through hours of the infamous Mr. Koski buzzing around you.

Even when you changed positions, moving from one end of Boulder Town to the next to keep watch, the man followed you like a puppy, eager to talk your ear off and aggravate you to death.

Of course, this is just how he was. Schmoozing up to anyone he could, trying to avoid culpability for some scam or another that he ran only a few hours (and sometimes even minutes) prior.

And clearly, he was beginning to think of you as an easy mark. You silently considered making it clear that you were far from it.

But when you bumped into Natasha of Wildfire, she seemed to have a different idea on why Sampo was so insistent on staying by your side.

"He's quite obvious, isn't he?"

The lovely woman chuckled, folding her arms over her chest as she watched Sampo scamper off after another verbal lashing from you.

You knew who she was, and you were thankful of her efforts in the Underworld. However, without being properly acquainted and only knowing each other's names, you were still wary. You turned your eyes onto her, assessing her intent in approaching you before speaking up yourself.

"Yes, as much as he loves touting his skills in his trade, I fear that it's all too clear when he's trying to worm his way out of something."

The surprise on Natasha's face caught you off guard.

"...What?"

"Oh, my apologies. I just thought you knew."

"Knew? Knew what?"

The woman giggled, stifling it with a polite hand over her lips.

"Dear, he's quite smitten with you."

As much as you wanted to scoff at your words—and truthfully, a huff of disbelief did leave you—the sudden confession made you turn red as a cherry.

"That's ridiculous. He's like that with everyone he's trying to wring dry of money. Or with every Silvermane Guard. I'm no exception, he just thinks I'm easy."

Natasha smiled, clicking her tongue.

"Y/N of the guards, right?" You nodded. "I'd be remiss to not tell you the full truth, but I've never heard Sampo Koski rave about anyone as much as you. When he mentions other guards or people he's flattered, he's always very lackadaisical, if he even mentions them at all. Trust me, he has eyes for you."

You paused.

Then, you started walking away, as speedily as you could without seeming hasty.

"Y/N?"

"I-I'm going to give him a piece of my mind! If that really is true, then I'm telling him to fix his delusions this instant! Good day, Natasha!"

The woman only laughed, shaking her head and turning back to head into her clinic.

When you finally found Sampo after a few minutes of searching (truthfully, you had noticed the way you could find him quicker than any other, despite the fact that he evaded the other guards so well), he was whistling a tune, holding a bouquet in his left hand.

Right. Now that trade had opened back up between the upper and lower portions of Belobog...

You shook your head, stomping up behind the man. He turned to meet you, emerald eyes sparkling.

"Heeey, Y/N! I was just about to come find you again! So, guess what I got for y—"

"Is it true?"

His unflappable grin faltered, and he tilted his head, chuckling nervously—almost in the same way he did when a client was getting cross, but not quite.

"W-Whaddya mean? Did my favorite Silvermane Guard get some weird hearsay put into their pretty little hea—"

"I spoke with Natasha. So, is it true?"

Sampo stopped in his tracks, the barest hint of pink seeping into his cheeks as he laughed anxiously.

However, he didn't miss the way your eyes hardened, how your fist clenched as though anticipating a negative response.

He swallowed thickly.

"U-Uhm, I mean, not that I know what you're talking about exactly, but, uh—" Your brow furrowed, and Sampo rushed out his remaining sentence. "If it's what I'm thinking of, and that could be many different things—"

"Koski!"

"Yes, it's true!"

You both stood in silence, until the blue-haired con artist began rambling away.

"I thought, 'Hey, Sampo Koski is a subtle guy! Maybe that subtlety would be lost on a lovely guard like Y/N, and he oughta put his best foot forward in being upfront and obvious!' But then, you weren't quite picking up what your old friend Sampo was putting down, and—"

"Sampo Koski."

He hadn't even noticed you approach, standing right before him as he endlessly jabbered.

"Well, Miss Nat told me to go ahead and be 'forward and open', but you know I'm not that type of guy, haha, and—well, ah..."

He looked down at you, dangerously close to his face. His smile became lopsided with nerves.

"And... and, um... Would you..." The man clasped his hands together, expression turning sheepish. That slight flush in his cheeks had spread across his face.

"Would you hit me if I kissed you?"

"I might if you don't."

And before he could say another word, your lips were pressed firmly against his.

[jakekazansky]

They got furious cause we got fast

… or the origin story of Juvenile Delinquent Jake

Jake didn’t talk much about his life before the navy, especially anything before he was 14. Most would attribute that to just being a private person … unfortunately for Jake that wasn’t the case. The honest truth? He couldn’t remember. Jake had no memory of who he was or where he came from. His earliest memory is being found by a nun in los Angeles where he laid bloody and bruised next to a dumpster outside of the food kitchen the nun helped run.

Truth be told, his name may not even be Jake. Jake was the name on the tag of the jacket he was wearing when the nun found him. Her name was Sister Katherine and she saved his life that day. Had he not been found when he did, he probably would’ve died of blood loss that night. As it stands, the memory isn’t as much of a memory but more of story that’s been told to him many times since that night.

Seresin was the last name of Sister Katherine’s great aunt. Sister Katherine was raised by her great aunt and wanted to see that name live on. Jake wasn’t one for religion but he always made sure to send money to the parish Sister Katherine was a part of. The nuns were responsible for helping him heal and helping him get back on his feet enough to be able to live on the streets without dying as a teen.

Living on the streets wasn’t an easy life. Jake went hungry more often than not, already malnourished from whatever his life was before. He tried not to show up at the soup kitchen the Sisters ran, trying only to go once per week or less. Sometimes only eating what he could find in the dumpster.

When Jake was 15, he met Brian. Brian was the same as him but in another body. While Brian wasn’t homeless, it was better living on the streets than with his piece of shit father abusive father. Everyone on the streets called them twins. Both blondes with blue-green eyes. Standing about the same height, they often body doubled with each other. It helped in creating diversions when they were desperate enough to pickpocket.

For the most part, they tended to stick to crimes where the victims wouldn’t notice anything amiss. Like snatching spare change laying in the center consoles of vehicles left in parking garages whose owners forgot to put the windows up when they parked. That’s how they met Suki.

Suki was everything they weren’t, had a loving set of parents, attended school, wasn’t living on the streets trying to survive. But she was also the same as them, obsessed with cars and the need to go fast. The three of them met at a car meet slash street racing meet up on a humid July night. Brian and Jake out to scope out rich brats they could boost cars from the following week to sell for parts and Suki out to see what she wanted to use to mod out her own ride. The three of them linked up to protect Suki from creepy guys and for Brian and Jake to give off the appearance of being straight. Both blondes were queerer than a three dollar bill and Suki appreciated having someone to hang out with. Suki’s parents were both doctors who didn’t approve of her interests in cars but were too busy to do anything about it. And the friends they forced her to have were ones who would never show face at something as delinquent and criminal as street racing.

Just before Jake was sixteen they took a trip to Miami. That’s where they met Tej. Tej wasn’t as in driving the cars like the three of them were but he was a genius under the hood. It wasn’t hard to convince the other boy to go back to LA with them and help Brian and Jake in their underground chop shop and car boosting business. That and Suki was in California. Tej and her had disappeared one night while they were at some races and next thing the blondes knew, Tej and Suki had become TejandSuki.

And at sixteen, that’s where Jake’s life took another big turn. Lamborghini had been in town, showing off a new car said to have the fastest motor ever created. Where everyone else saw high performance and speed, Jake saw the adventure of a lifetime. The young man had been experimenting with tech, fascinated by the concept of the EMPs had seen some cops use on a racer fleeing a race that had gotten busted.

Jake had managed to boost one of the police cars equipped with an EMP and disable the tracker on it. The blonde had no idea how he knew what he was doing when it came to engineering and working with things but it was as instinctual to him as breathing was to everyone else.

He had managed to make a handheld EMP, something not even the military had managed to create yet. And all he had to do to activate it was flip a switch. Much more effective than the ones currently in use which required the user to have to stay within 20 feet of another vehicle for 30 seconds for it to take affect. His was instantaneous. All that was left was for him to test it.

The Lamborghini with the prototype engine being in town meant Jake had the perfect opportunity to test it out. But it also meant he had only one chance and the cops had been sniffing around too much lately for his and Brian’s comfort.

So Jake did what he had to do…

He stole the prototype.

But he also became the star of the most viewed police chase to date. And property of the US government.

[casual-praxis]

Since I haven't gotten around to drawing them yet, I haven't talked much about Blue and Green in the Slime Rancher AU (I really need to come up with a name for it), this will hopefully change in the near future, but in the meantime, here's a random assortment of fun facts about them.

+ Green is in a similar position to Bea (the Slime Rancher protagonist), in that he left behind a close friend with whom he may have had a romantic connection with in order to nurture his adventurous spirit. That friend was Zelda, and she still regularly sends him starmail to keep him updated on how things are back in their hometown.

(Note: one of my friends wants me to bring Zelda to the range and theme her after a pink slime, which is a really cute idea but hh I don't know how to get her there. And I don't want her to be viewed as a relationship rival, she's too sweet for that.)

+ Blue, when he initially shows up, is very dismissive of the whole, "slimes are cute, they're like lil' buddies" notion. They can make him easy money. And the faster he can save up, the faster he can get a shuttle back to Earth and kick his family's teeth in for sending him there in the first place. That's all that matters to him. The other losers on the ranch might subscribe to the whole ridiculous pyramid scheme, but not Blue.

Nope, he's totally not falling for it. He's not falling for Green's genuine concern, Red's effortless handling of borderline explosives, Vio's general competence, or Shadow's playful banter. But especially not this goopy, waterlogged slime that keeps trying to follow him around and--hey, Window's Vista, how the hell is he supposed to keep one of these bastards when the Slimepedia says they evaporate?!

More notes under the cut! ^^

+ Green may be the unofficial leader in everyone else's mind, but to Green, the leader is actually Vio due to their experience gap and the fact Vio has seniority. He often goes to Vio for guidance on certain unforeseen issues, like a hen-hen infestation (they are everywhere, help) or advice on where to put a new corral or silo.

But when it comes down to it, Green is the one to step up quickest in high-stress situations (like Tarr outbreaks) and de-escalate conflicts (interpersonal or otherwise), which he doesn't even hesitate on. He has everyone's trust, he gets things done, and he does all the communicating with other ranches. He is the leader, the others have no doubts.

+ Despite his prickly demeanor early on, Blue was still asked to help with physical labor around the ranch at the very least. He has a knack for construction, and production speed usually went up with him actually keeping the projects organized.

Red in particular would go to Blue for help with heavy lifting, even if it was just so he didn't have to do it himself (Blue would never admit it, but he was the one to initially reach out to help Red. Watching him struggle wasn't as fun as he thought it'd be). Also, sometimes Shadow would rope him into tests of strength on streams, those were always nice ego boosts (not that he needed one).

+ Green and Blue both use nicknames for the others, but while Green's are largely affectionate and closer to pet names, Blue's are more akin to insults (which become softer over time).

For Green's nicknames, he uses Firework or Firefly for Red, Puddle Fly or Water Bug for Blue, Jewel Beetle or Bookworm for Vio, and Moth(ra) or Shads for Shadow. (Can you sense a pattern here lmao.)

For Blue's nicknames, he cycles through quite a few, especially early on since he doesn't intend to learn anything about the others. He uses Stringbean, Airhead, "His Greenness", etc for Green (Greenbean and Froggy once he stops being a dick), Ground Zero, Creepy, Ash-For-Brains, etc for Red (Firecracker, Hotshot, and Sparkles once he stops being a prick), Windows Vista, Glitchy/Twitchy, Violetta, etc for Vio (Bug and V once he stops being an ass), The Influencer (derogatory), Porphylophile (person who really likes purple), and Eyeliner, etc for Shadow (Kitten and Princess ((still teasing)) once he stops being a dumbass).

That's all I have time for right now, work is starting soon hhh--but I definitely have more for these two planned! Look forward to that if you'd like, and thank you for reading this far!

[byizoyas]

2023/byizoyas. — pls do not plagiarize or repost and claim as yours ! thank you very much :)

❛ ACE OF HEARTS ❜ ; a multi love interests written genshin series.

status: still in progress but it shall be starting soon.

genre. modern/mafia?? au ig. assassin!reader (gender neutral)

synopsis. ‘a genius’, ‘a ruthless murderer’, ‘teyvat’s righter of wrongs’… such are the way they call you through the whole country. indeed the pseudonym ‘crimson’ you use to hide your true name isn’t unknown anymore. some people praise you, some others only wait for your downfall. and in the middle of these crowds of hypocritical following idiots, you find yourself struggling to lead your life the way that you want. you owe a certain someone called morax a massive amount of money and since you have no choice but to work for him as his personal hitman you almost lost your ability to feel anything along the way; as if you lived only to serve that man and fulfill his cruel orders. yet, you can be thankful to him for he is, indirectly, the reason you met people that are going to change your life. will they change it for the best or for the worst ? this, you can only know after you make decisions. the way is going to be a long and difficult one. hopefully, someone will be there to catch you by the end of your journey.

✦: meets with reader through the fic. ✧: already knows reader.

✕ male leads. (5) alhaitham, ayato, childe, diluc, kaveh.

✦ ; alhaitham as the main target and y/n ‘enemy’

✧ ; ayato as y/n former partner in crime and actual friend with benefits

✦ ; childe as y/n current partner in crime, new in this job

✧ ; diluc as the cop in charge of some cases involving y/n, also happens to be y/n childhood friend

✦ ; kaveh as alhaitham’s friend and y/n indirect target to get to alhaitham

✕ main characters /outside ml and reader/ zhongli, pantalone, lumine, yae miko, kaeya, rosaria, dainsleif (more to be added as the series goes by probably)

✕ notes. GN/AFAB!READER cursing. heavy dose of angst. smut and suggestive scenes. mature themes that might not suit everyone’s taste (anything triggering will be tagged on top of a chapter!!) random updates cuz the whole thing isn’t written, i’m improvising ehe. dainslumi mentions. no heavy romantic feelings (love basically) towards the 5 men shall be described from reader pov since i want y’all to help me choose who y/n will end up with.

✕ taglist is always open, just send an ask or comment this post to be added.

CHAPTERS.

𝐈. the tower

more to come

reblogs, comments and likes are genuinely appreciated, thanks for your time & support!

[employee052]

little poster for a minicomic im working on thats half au / half backstory for virgil and the tsp gang in my universe called "la vie en jaune" (or life in yellow in french) (i think) (idk i live in canada)

for a full infodump on this au ill put it under the cut bc this au is an amalgamation of portal 2 (which takes from cave johnson, caroline, aperture, while also taking from a chelley fic i read) , simon from adventure time, kingsman, and floating megane's ted nivison comics on insta.

the plot:

Virgil works at a company called Ouroboros Technologies, whos goal is to make gadgets that automate the process of buisnesses (though they never go beyond that explanation, it pays hella money so ppl dont question it).

Anyways, Virgil's job is to hire and manage the new employees in his division. And at his 427th employee he hires Stanley Rider (also rider is stanleys canonical last name apparently so might as well use that instead of parable). A 26 year old whos fresh out of university n is working as an intern. Getting coffee, flowers for the office, making sure everyone has enough whiteboard markers since ppl use that up like crazy, etc

The two get close to the point that Stanley becomes Virgil's assistant. Which helps a bit since both Stanley and Virgil are struggling to keep up with their (seperate n now combined) workload.

The company makes a prototype product which is a set of yellow glasses, which gives the user access to the whole company's building, files, and technology in an AR form that they can access at the blink of an eye. The Prototype AR Accessible Biotech Launcher Enviroment (or pARable for short) They give it to Virgil to test, and research finds that it improves productivity 110%. However, the tech begins to backfire as it slowly begins to change Virgil's attitude and body. His mind starts to forget the people and names around him, he starts becoming increasingly more anxious and self conscious of his work when in the presence of an audience, his body begins to rapidly age and drain his life from him, and he begins to crave the control that he is given with these glasses.

Stanley notices this, and pleads with Virgil to stop, which he does. However, it causes them to fall behind on their workload, and the higherups dont like it.

Eventually, as the company threatens to dock their pay, Virgil is forced to use the glasses again in order to keep up with the workload and feed both him and Stanley. At which, Virgil begins to lose himself more and more. Forgetting his name and instead calling himself the Narrator.

The only person that he remembers is Stanley.

One night, Virgil doesn't come home, and after filing a missing persons case, Stanley doesn't find him. (Although the usual silence from Ouroboros seems more ominous than usual)

The company begins to export and send pARables en masse to all its employees, and the company reaches a terrifying peak in efficiency. And Stanley follows. Yet the only difference is that his pARable is different than his coworkers. Where everyone else starts off at a narration explaining the device followed by a room that is designed to look exactly like the user's own bedroom. Stanley's starts off with a story, in an office that looks suspiciously like his.

And concerningly, he can only vaguely remember of his life before the pARable.

And so the game plays out like normal, except both Stanley and The Narrator cant help but shake the fact that the other feels so familiar somehow.

---

ive got one page already done so i might do some more doodles with the designs i have for these two later, but im just glad i got to put this down since this is how i saw virgils origins to be subconsciously

which reminds me i need to share what ive got written for my tsp portal au f U C K

[deke-rivers-1957]

Deke's Path To Peace

AN: I've had this story idea for a while now. I just can't look at Deke without thinking "this boy had trauma." If you have any requests feel free to send them in.

"Fire! Fire! Everyone out! Out!"

I wake up gaspin for air and see boys runnin out of the room. I don't even think before runnin too. I can smell the smoke but I keep runnin until I find some bushes to stop in. I can see the orphanage burnin to the ground. It's so horrible I start runnin again. I feel so scared that I don't even realize I'm in a cemetery. I trip on somethin and fall to the ground. I look up and see a tombstone.

"Deke Rivers: He was alone except for his friends who missed him."

There's somethin about it that connects to me. I didn't know who this Deke was but I feel that he and I were the same by bein as lonely as me.

"I'll find some friends. Maybe I can make your name a name worth rememberin."

I yawn and lay down right by his grave. I don’t want to be Jimmy Tompkins anymore. I’ll just bury him here and wake up as Deke Rivers.

"Good night, Jimmy Tompkins."

I look up at the sky and see a lot of stars. There's a very nice breeze that helps me fall asleep. The next mornin I wake up and realize I can't just stay here.

"Ok Deke. Time to find somethin to eat."

I find my way out of the cemetery and start walkin. After not even an hour I start feelin scared about bein lost. Then I see a sign.

"Next town 5 miles away."

I sigh then start walkin again. I'm feelin tired from not eatin.

"Hey now. Where did you come from son?"

I turn around and look spooked to see a man comin towards me.

"Where're your parents?"

I fidget with my hands a little.

"I. I don't have any."

"I see."

I find the courage to look up at him.

"Can I ask you somethin?"

"What?"

"Is this town far from the orphanage that just burned down?"

His eyes widen.

"Oh you're from un-incorporated Allen. This is Lucas. Such a shame the orphanage burned down. Everything's so chaotic nobody can tell if all the children made it out. All the records of those poor kids're gone."

I realize just how serious this fire was. I don't have anything to my name anymore.

"What's gonna happen to the kids who made it out?"

"They're all being sent throughout all of Texas. Allen simply doesn't the money to rebuild it."

I don't wanna go back to be sent away like all those other kids. I wanna stay here if I can.

"Do you have a place to go boy?"

"Yes I'm goin to my aunt's house."

"How far is it?"

I don't like lyin but I don't think I have a choice here.

"Oh it's not far. Just a few miles up the road."

"You mean up in Fairview?"

I nod but I feel very nervous. I don't want this man to ask anymore questions because that'd mean havin to lie more. My stomach starts growlin and I feel embarrassed.

"Alright. I'll tell you what. I'll buy you breakfast. Then you can go on your way."

I start smilin and nod my thanks.

"Thank you sir."

I follow him to a diner and he orders a plate of bacon and eggs for me. I really needed the food and it tastes way better than anythin. I ever had at the orphanage.

"Thanks again for the food."

"You're welcome. Good luck finding your aunt, kid."

I get out of my seat and wave as I leave the diner. As soon as I get outta his line of sight I start feelin nervous about what's gonna happen to me now.

Time Skip

The next 5 years have been rough. I'm I think 16 years old now and I've been wandering across Texas to avoid police puttin me back into the system. I've been livin on scraps and whatever spare change I can find. I'm just so lonely and want somethin to go my way.

"Well this equals 50 cents. I can probably buy somethin to drink."

I manage to find a bar and decide to head inside. I know it's run down but I don't have that many options.

"What'll it be boy?"

I try not to shudder at bein called boy since it makes me feel like I’m still a child at the orphanage. I just look at the bartender.

"Umm. I only have 50 cents. Do you have anythin inexpensive?"

"Yeah. I got something for ya."

"Thanks."

I look around the bar and nobody wants to deal with me. It's mostly older men drinking heavily. The bartender doesn't seem to mind me so I decide to take a seat and wait for my drink.

"Bottoms up kid. A club soda."

I look at the drink confused. I've never heard of a club soda and I don't even know if it's alcoholic. Either way, I'm thirsty and decide I might as well take a drink.

"Thanks."

I never tasted anythin like this but I'm still goin. When I finish I try to count my coins to pay for it.

"Ah don't worry about it. It's on the house."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah."

I'm not used to anyone bein nice to me. I'm actually a little suspicious of this bartender now.

"Well uh. Thanks again for the drink."

"Don't mention it. You're gonna get a lot more out of this soon enough."

I start to feel nervous but try not to show it. I try to leave the bar when I suddenly feel dizzy. As much as I try to keep my balance I end up falling to the floor and pass out. I don't know how long I've been unconscious but I wake up in a random bed.

"Ugh. Where am I?"

A man comes in the door and I feel scared again. I don't know where I am or what even happened. I don't want anyone to hurt me.

"Oh aren't you a cute one."

I start to shiver. I'm not used to having anyone compliment me. People usually ignore me.

"Listen doll face I get it. You're done on your luck and need money."

I just look at him as he's making me even more nervous.

"Well yeah. I do."

"Now believe me you'll be making a lot of it."

My heart starts beatin fast.

"You mean like a job?"

"Oh I wouldn't call it a job. You won't even need to do anything but look wonderful."

I don't feel any better after hearin that. What could he possibly mean by "looking wonderful"?

"Do you. Do you mean like a model?"

"You can call it that."

Even though I should feel relieved by that, I also feel a sense of helplessness. All I can do is accept my fate. I have nowhere else to go.

"Ok."

Time Skip

These were the worst two years of my life. This man broke me. I've been robbed of my youth and my innocence. I've had to do such unspeakable things just to have food to eat. Money doesn't even matter because I can't leave the house. What's worse is that no one even cared about my situation. Every man and woman I've been with didn't even care about me.

"Good news. The boss is going to meet with you."

I don't even say anythin as I'm lead to the boss' room. I have nothing in me anymore. The boss looks at me and I just know things are going to be worse.

"Your services are no longer needed honey. I'm letting you go."

Somehow I feel so frustrated. I've been nothing but this monster's sex slave. He made me think I was nothing more than a pretty face. Now I have nothing!

"This will get you to Missouri sugar. You can buy a guitar and use that pretty voice."

I look at the money. $50. That's all I'm worth?! Even though I take it I'm just so bitter.

"Just where am I supposed to go in Missouri?"

"Plenty of places to go in Kansas City doll."

Ah tense up but say nothing.

"Fine. I'll take my chances then."

I practically run out of the building. I don't even pay attention where I'm goin as I run. I'm just like I was about 11 years old: just runnin away until I end up lost in the middle of nowhere. That's when I stop to breakdown and cry. I just wasted so many years of my life only to be violated by everyone I've ever met. The only thing I can do's try goin to the police.

"Alright Deke. Time to man up and tell the police what happened."

I get up and try to find a police station. I'm lucky that one isn't too far away. I walk inside and see the officer at his desk.

"Um excuse me. I'd like to report a crime."

He takes the cigar out of his mouth.

"What's the crime?"

So I explain my whole story in full detail. I end up fallin into the chair and sob as I get up to what happened to today. The whole time, the policeman looks at me and puffs his cigar. Once I finish talking he sighs and looks at me with pity.

"We've had complaints before. This has been an ongoing investigation for the past couple years. The bar you mentioned unfortunately went out of business 6 months ago. Unless you know how to get back to the house you were in or any names you might've heard, there just isn't anything that we can do about it."

I look at him good and hard. He doesn't look like I'm a disgusting person for having experienced this.

“No. I can’t. I just ran off as soon as he said he was lettin me go. I didn’t pay attention to anythin like the address. I just wanted to get out of there as soon as I could.”

I feel like such an idiot. I look up at the policeman and take in his face. He genuinely feels terrible that I was hurt.

"Ok. Now what I can do is ask if you have any papers?"

"Papers? Oh. No. I don't have any papers sir."

The policeman groans and puts out his cigar.

"How old do you think you are now?"

"I guess I'm 18 years old."

He looks right at me.

"Of course you are. That's going to make this a little difficult."

He pulls out a blank birth certificate.

"Ok. We've had plenty of safe haven babies brought here without any papers. So my job's to make 'em papers so they can get stuff done in the world."

I just watch him get his pen ready.

"Why did you say that about my age?"

"Because unless you have proof of your age, you could still be viewed as being part of the system. So it's best I fill this out now while you still have ambiguity on your side."

"Oh. I guess it does make sense."

The policeman picks up his pen.

"So. Name?"

"Oh. Deke Rivers."

I watch him write it down. Him easily accepting that as my name on one hand feels great. On the other hand, I feel like I betrayed my birth parents by getting rid of the only thing I have of them. But I know I can't be holding onto that anymore. This birth certificate is how I can make a new start.

"Assumed date of birth?"

"Um. Let's go with July 7th, 1935."

The policeman writes that down. Somethin about that date just feels right.

"I know you're an orphan but do you have any clue on who your parents are?"

"No sir. All I ever had was my birth name."

He sighs.

"I'll have to put it down as unknown. As for place of birth, I'll have to put it down as right here in McKinney, Texas. You can get this registered with the state."

I can only nod. I'm just amazed that after all this time, I finally have paper to my name.

"There you go. I can take ya to the courthouse. That's where you get your state ID card. You'll need that for a lot of things in life."

"Oh. Yes sir!"

I start to feel hope that my life is finally coming together. I follow the policeman to his car.

"By the way, do you feel like you need to go to the hospital from what happened?"

I really think about it. I think about doctors and nurses pokin me. Then I shake my head.

"No sir. I think I'll be ok. Thank you for helpin me get my papers situated."

He nods and drives me to the courthouse. I walk with the policeman up to the man at the counter. By the time we finish all the paperwork, it's 8 pm and I'm hungry. The policeman drives me to a bus station and hands me a sandwich.

"Here you go, Deke. This'll hold ya over while you wait for the bus to Kansas City."

"Thank you sir."

I start to eat the sandwich and I almost cry. It's a warm BLT with the perfect amount of mayonnaise. I'm so thankful that this nice officer's taking his time to stay with me until the bus arrives. It makes me feel so cared for.

"Well there's your bus."

I look up and see the bus stop.

"Thanks again for the sandwich."

I shake the policeman's hand.

"Good luck Deke. I really mean it."

I smile and mouth thank you as I go to board the bus.

"One way trip to Kansas City, Missouri."

I nod and pay my bus fair. The doors close behind me as I take a seat at the back of the bus. It's gonna be a long trip and I wanna get some sleep. I don't know what I'll do once I get there but for now I'll just get some sleep.

Time Skip

"Hey pal get up. It's the end of the line."

I yawn and stretch as I wake up. I can't believe I slept through the bus ride all night. Now I'm scared of what I'll do next. Either way I have to get off the boat and count how much money I have.

"$45. At least it's somethin. I can get breakfast now."

It's just my luck that there's a diner just down the street. I step inside and take a seat in a booth. A waitress hands me a menu.

"Passing through stranger?"

"Uh no ma'am. I'm plannin on makin a new start here."

She pulls out her notepad and pencil.

"Now then what can I get ya honey?"

I close the menu.

"Well uh what do you recommend?"

"We have a steak and egg special for only $3.99. It's your choice of egg and comes with a side of hash browns and a fruit bowl."

I think it over and it sounds like a reasonable amount of food for only $3.99.

"Alright, I'll have that then with sunny side up eggs."

She writes it down on her note pad.

"What do you want to drink?"

"Just some coffee please."

She pours me some coffee and sets down some cream.

"Be out in a minute darlin."

She takes the menu and I try not to shudder at the pet names. I'm not in that house anymore.

"Order up."

I look up when I hear the bell ding. My waitress comes up to me with my food.

"Enjoy your meal. You can pay when you're ready darlin."

She sets my bill down and pours some more coffee.

"Thanks ma'am."

She walks away and leaves me with my food. I start with my steak first. Somethin tells me I'm gonna need the protein. I take a look at my bill as I eat and I see that it's only $4.75. I try to figure out what I oughta tip my waitress and decide to use a $5 for the bill. That'll give me a quarter in change and I can just use that with $1 as her tip. This is the first time I've ever had to figure out a tip so I hope what I'm giving her's enough.

"Uh ma'am here's the money for my bill. Keep the change."

"Thank you. Hope you come again."

I nod as I go back outside. I wander the streets for a couple hours and try to give the appearance of knowing where I'm going. I stop at the crosswalk and see a pawn shop across the street. There's a guitar up for sale in the window. I cross when it's safe to do so and talk to the owner.

"Excuse me sir, I saw that guitar in the window. How much is it?"

"Well how much ya got?"

I don't like havin to lie but I really need to save my money in case I can't get a job right away.

"I've only got $5."

"Tell ya what. If you watch the store while I'm out to lunch, I'll let you have it free. It's a wooden piece of junk so I was about to throw it away. You'll be doing me a favor."

My eyes widen. I'm gettin a good deal. I look around the store and feel that it's safe enough to watch it alone.

"Ok I can do that. Thank you, sir."

"Alright pal we got a deal. I'll be back by 1."

I smile as I go behind the counter. The owner leaves and I'm alone in the store. I count how much money I have after the breakfast and realize I have $35 left. I put it away and try to figure out how to make it last as long as possible. I hear the door open and see the owner come in.

"Well the place ain't burned to the ground. I'd say ya filled your end of the deal. Any customers come by while I was gone?"

I smile as I come out from behind the counter.

"No sir. I came a close eye on things the whole time. Nobody came by."

"Alright then the guitar's yours. If you wanna make it a career your best bet's to start with the Country Club Plaza. It's one of the hottest places in town."

I grab the guitar and shake his hand.

"Thank you for the advice, sir. I'll be on my way then."

I walk out of the pawn shop and try to find my way to the Country Club Plaza. Along the way, I become a street performer so I can build up some money. By the time I get to the Country Club Plaza, I end up having a total of $50.

"Alright, Deke. Time to give it your best shot."

I walk inside to try talking with the owner.

"So you're a guitar player?"

"Yes sir I am."

He looks through his papers.

"I have an afternoon group coming in a half hour. You get one song as an audition for the opening act. If I like what you do, we can talk about your pay in my office."

"Thank you sir."

I go backstage and start to practice my best material. I'm still not the greatest guitar player, but I make up for it with spirit.

"And now ladies and gentleman. Before we start our main show, I'm auditioning a new act for one song. Let's give a round of applause for Deke Rivers."

He turns to me as if to say "you're on kid." I get on stage and look out into the audience. I start to sing one of the only songs I know. It's a very lively song that the audience mostly loves. I can barely hear someone saying I'm not Hank Williams but I don't feel discouraged.

"Bravo, bravo."

I'm glad the audience loved my song, but the owner comes up to me not looking happy at all. He drags me backstage and grabs my guitar.

"Get out!"

"But. But they liked my song."

He starts pushing me out the door.

"I will not be having this devil's music in my club!"

I try to get my guitar back but he keeps it out of my reach.

"Get out! Get out! Get out!"

I end up outside on my butt as the owner closes the door. Once again, I've been rejected just when I thought I found the right job. I sit down at the nearest bench. I know I still have $50 but that can't possibly last forever.

"Excuse me son."

I look up and see a man come up to me.

"Yes sir?"

"I was in the audience during your song. I'm very sorry about getting kicked out like that."

I can only sigh.

"You don't need to be sorry. I wish I knew what I did wrong with the owner."

"Yes I didn't want to rub it in. What I did want to do is offer you a job."

I don't want to get my hopes up but I look up at him.

"As a singer?"

"Well no. Not as a singer."

I sigh and rub my face. I start talking to myself when I hear the man sigh.

"I know a guy in St. Louis who works at a junkyard. He's been complaining about an old Ford Model A taking up space. If you're up to it, I can send a telegram that you'll help him."

I look up at him and see that he's serious.

"Oh. Yeah. I. I can help with that the best I can."

"Splendid. I believe Howie's willing to give it to you if you can fix it."

My eyes widen at that. I've never had a car before. If Howie does want to give it away, I'd love to have it.

"I'd love to do it. Do you have the address?"

"Oh yes I'll write it down. By the way do you have money to get there?"

I realize that things went wrong by lyin. So I decide to tell him the truth even if it means not havin as much money.

"I have about $50. Will that be enough to get to St. Louis?"

"Oh yes. The train can take you there easily."

He hands me a piece of paper with the address.

"Thank you sir. I really appreciate it."

"No problem at all. I best be on my way to send that telegram. Good luck."

I watch him leave as I decide to take the chance and call for a cab. I just hope my luck will change for the better.

Time Skip

As soon as I get to St. Louis, my boss Howie's already waiting for me at the train station. Even though I never met him until now, he's holding a sign with my name on it.

"Hi. Are you Howie?"

"That's right. Are you Deke?"

I shake his hand.

"Yes sir. I appreciate this offer."

"I have lunch at the junkyard. My car's just outside the station."

I nod and follow Howie outside and get into his car. The drive to the junkyard wasn't long at all. I immediately get to work after eating lunch. Even though I don't have any experience working on cars, Howie's surprisingly very patient with me. After only a couple weeks, I managed to get the hang of going through the trash.

"Deke I'm taking stuff to the scrapyard. You're on break while I'm gone."

"Thanks Howie."

He drives off with the truck while I spend my break drinking a coke. I look over the Model A when a couple garbagemen come in and unload some trash.

"Howie off to the scrapyard again?"

"Yeah. He just left about 5 minutes ago."

They look over my work.

"How's the car coming along?"

"It's comin along. I still got a long ways to go, but I hope I'm gonna get it runnin at some point."

They start gettin back in the truck.

"Well you know what to do. Good luck."

"Thanks. I'm sure I'll get it done soon enough."

They leave and I get back to the shed for some tools. I hear Howie come back and I see him holding a bag.

"Eat up, Deke. We got a lot to look through today."

I grab a sandwich out of the bag.

"Thanks for the sandwich Howie."

I start eating while I look over the pile of trash that we need to get through. I can tell by lookin at it, this is gonna take a while.

"Well Deke what do you think?"

"I think there's gotta be somethin we can use for the car here. We just gotta keep diggin through this pile until we find it."

When we finish our sandwiches we open up the first trash bag.

"Alright be careful now. Can't have you getting tetanus."

"Oh yeah I'll be careful."

By the time the sun goes down we manage to get through the entire pile. Howie goes into his office while I wipe the sweat off my face.

"Alright Deke it's pay day. Come get your cut."

I walk into the office as he hands me some money.

"We had a great week with the scrapyard. Made a lot of money on the metal."

"Thanks Howie. Today was a pretty good day. I found a couple spark plugs and some hoses too. Maybe if we fix them, we can use it for the Model A."

"Alright then we can work on it tomorrow. I'll see you in the morning. You know where the key is."

I wave as I go to the garage and grab the key to my room. Thanks to Howie lettin me stay here, I've been able to save another $20. Even though it's only a wooden shed with nothing but a cot in it, I'm very thankful to have this room at all. This has been my best job yet. Maybe I can dream about driving a Model A. Either way as soon as I lay down I fall asleep.

"Bang. Bang. Bang."

I wake up early the next morning to Howie knocking on my door.

"Deke there's a storm coming. We gotta get the car into the garage."

"Alright I'll try gettin it into neutral."

I go over to the Model A and try to start the ignition. I managed to get it done.

"Howie I got it!"

"Good now keep the wheel steady while I push."

Since the garage isn't that far we easily manage to get the car into the garage.

"Howie I'm nervous about shuttin it off now. The engine sounds like it's runnin perfectly for once."

Howie listens to the Model A as it runs.

"I'd shut it off so we can work on the brakes after breakfast. Once this storm passes we can give it a test run to the gas station."

"Alright I'll shut it off. I can't believe we're this close to gettin this car fixed."

I shut off the engine. It sounded good shutting off so me and Howie rush back to his office for breakfast.

"I think this storm should pass soon. A heavy rain like this usually does."

"How do you think the brakes'll work if we drive it today?"

Howie thinks it over as he makes some eggs.

"I'll take it slow on the brakes. If it can't handle wet conditions it'll start to skid."

I nod as he hands me a plate.

"Thanks. I'm so excited that we might've actually done it."

"I get it. You spent a lot of time helping me work on it. It's always worth the effort if you can get it to work."

As soon as we finish eatin the sun starts to come out.

"Alright Deke grab a towel. We need to make sure the brakes are as dry as possible."

I put the plate in the sink and grab a ratty towel as we head back out to the garage. As soon as we make sure the brakes are dry, Howie gets in the driver's seat.

"Get on in. I'll take her to the gas station and see how she runs."

I climb into the passenger seat. Howie starts the ignition and I'm relieved to hear it start smoothly again.

"That's a good sign."

"Now let's test this on the open road."

Howie starts to drive us to the gas station and back. The whole time I'm shakin like a leaf. When we make it back to the junkyard, Howie turns off the engine.

"Well Deke you did it. She runs like a dream."

I start beamin.

"You really think so?"

"Sure. For this car's age it's as smooth as can be. So long as you don't slam on the brakes, there's not a thing wrong with it."

I can hardly believe it. I actually fixed this car. I did it.

"Now then I have a question for you."

"What is it?"

"Do you have a driver's license?"

I start to feel very nervous. I hope this isn't a trap but I have to be honest since honesty got me this job.

"No sir. I never had the chance to get one. Do I need anythin outside of an ID to get one? I have one from Texas if that helps."

"Alright then I'll help you get one. After all you're gonna be keeping this car."

I look up at him.

"You mean it?"

"That was our deal. You fixed the car so you get to keep it. You saw that I have plenty of cars here already. This is just taking up space."

I shake Howie's hand.

"Thank you. I'll do my best."

"That's all I can ask for Deke."

After many months I finally get my driver's license. Howie let me drive us back to the junkyard after buying me dinner and takes me to his office.

"Well Deke, I'm gonna have to let you go."

As much as it's sad to be jobless again, I feel good this time. Howie's done so much for me. I knew this job was only temporary and managed to make the best out of it.

"I understand. Thank you for everythin, Howie. There is just one last thing I wanna ask you."

"Oh? What is it?"

"Is there anyway you can help me last the winter? I only have $120 saved and I don't know where to go next."

Howie thinks before countin out some money.

"All I can do is give you, your final cut of the scrapyard trip totaling $30. I also have an address for a motel at the edge of town. I know it isn't much but it's a start. I'll even let you stay the last night here so you won't be wandering around in the dark."

I take the money.

"Thank you so much."

I wave as I go to the shed one last time. I’m gonna miss this place but I know Howie’s done his best. That’s all I can ever ask for as I fall asleep in my cot one last time.

Time Skip

When I leave the junkyard after my last free breakfast, I buy a road map and get a room at the motel.

“Alright Deke. Time to figure out how to get back to Texas by car without dyin.”

After spendin 2 days at the motel, I figure out a rough idea on where to go. I also decide to take the financial hit and get myself some new clothes.

“Excuse me how much would it cost for a couple shirts, jeans and these shoes?”

The man behind the counter rings it up.

“That’ll be $15.”

I sigh since it could’ve been worse. I pay him the money and immediately put it in a bag.

“Have a good day.”

“Thanks you too.”

I head back to my car and start driving south. I’m already down to $100 and I haven’t even left St. Louis yet. It's not the most ideal situation, but I gotta sleep in my car if I can. Food wise I’m managin to get by. I get somethin to eat when I stop for gas.

“What’ll it be man?”

“I’ll take some chili if you got it.”

The man takes out a metal bottle and pours some in.

“This here’s a thermos. It’s reusable so you can keep it when you’re done with the chili.”

“Sounds good. How much?”

“$5.”

Only $90 left but if this keeps hot things hot I’ll need it.

“I’ll take it.”

I give the man the money and he gives me the thermos. I head back to my car start driving again. Once it gets dark I try to park where I’ll be covered from any snow.

“Ok let’s try this chili.”

I open the thermos and somehow I can see steam comin out. I take a drink and realize it’s still warm.

“Wow. This’ll keep me warm for a while.”

And it did at least for tonight. The next few nights I wasn’t as lucky. One night there was such a horrible storm that I thought I was going to die.

“It’s ok. You’ll get through it. You’ll get through it.”

I end up bein just fine. As soon as I get to Texas I end up in a small town called Delville. It’s not McKinney or Fairview but I’ll take it. I find that I have about $5 left and decide to spend it on food. Now that it’s spring and I’m in Texas I don’t need to worry about stayin dry.

“Howdy all.”

I turn and see a short chubby man come in just after I find a table.

“Howdy.”

He turns to me and sits down at my table.

“Ah ain’t seen ya round these parts. What’re ya here for?”

“I just came back from a long trip up north and I'm just tryin to get myself situated. Is that alright?”

“It sure is. Can’t help but check out the swingin antique outside.”

I look outside and see that he means my car.

“Oh that’s mine. I got it up north in St. Louis a while back and I just spent a few months fixin' her up, bringin' her back here. It took awhile, but I managed to get 'er fixed up real good.”

“Ya mean that’s yer car? Shoot ya got a pretty good deal then.”

After talkin with this man while we eat I start to feel comfortable around him.

“Mah name’s Teddy by the way.”

“My name’s Deke.”

We shake hands.

“So where do ya plan on stayin Deke?”

“I don't know. I didn't really have a plan for that. I was just gonna figure somethin out. You live around these parts?”

He gestures up the road.

“Sure do. Ah work for the Highway Brewery Company.”

“Wow. For how long?”

“Been workin there the past 5 years. It’s a livin and ya get to travel all across the county.”

That sounds like fun to me. Maybe this is how I can make friends like Teddy. I see him look at the clock.

“Well time to start walkin home. Ah got work in the mornin.”

“Oh. Yeah I gotta get goin to.”

The waitress comes by with the bill and I start to pull out my $5.

“Ah don’t worry about the bill. It’s on me.”

“You don’t mind payin?”

“Heck no. You’re the first guy that’s really listened to mah chatter since Ah’ve been comin here so it’s the least Ah can do.”

Teddy looks at the bill and goes to pay it.

“Thank you, Teddy. This ain't somethin' I'm used to.”

“No problem.”

We head outside and I see Teddy startin to walk home. I realize I can’t do that when he’s paid for me.

“Hey, Teddy, wait up a minute.”

“Yeah what’s up Deke?”

I take a deep breath and sigh.

“I was just wonderin if you would let me drive ya home. You got your job and everything, and I don't wanna disrupt that. And it’s the least I can do when you paid for me.”

“You’d really do that? Well if you’re sure then alright.”

We get in the car and I start drivin him home. By the time I find his house it’s too dark to really see anythin.

“Hey thanks for the lift. Now since it’s so late and all Ah was thinkin that ya should just room wit me. Ya don’t have anywhere to go so it’d be wrong for me to let ya be wanderin round by your lonesome.”

I admit I gotta agree with that.

“Ok you’re right. I appreciate ya lettin' me stay with ya.”

He gets out of the car and starts to open his door.

“Now Ah know it’s gonna be small so Ah hope ya don’t mind sharin a bed.”

“Oh, that's no problem for me at all. As long as it's a roof over my head, I'll be more than grateful.”

We head inside and Teddy’s right about it bein small. But it’s still bigger than the shed at Howie’s junkyard. I look up and see Teddy takin off his shirt. Suddenly I’m not in his bedroom anymore but in… that room…

“Deke? Ya awright? Why were ya lookin at me like ya saw a ghost?”

I shake a little and see Teddy in front of me again.

“Yeah. Sorry I was just reminded of somethin.”

“Oh Ah don’t sleep in the buff if that’s whatcha mean. Jus had to change outta mah work clothes.”

He lays down in bed.

“You got anything to change into Deke?”

“Oh. No these are my sleepin clothes. The only other clothes I got are my business clothes so to speak.”

“Awright then. Ya wanna take off your shirt go head. Ah don’t mind.”

I know Teddy doesn’t mean what I think he means but I can’t help but feel a shiver. I take off my shirt and lay down with my back turned to him. I just can’t handle him starin at me like they back-

“Hey man why ya so tense?”

I take a breath and slowly turn my head.

“Sorry I just ain’t used to this sorta thing.”

“What do ya mean?”

I take a full look at Teddy and realize he just doesn’t think somethin awful like what I’m about to say can ever happen. So I tell him in a way that he can understand.

“Oh. Ah think Ah’m puttin together what yer sayin.”

I can’t even look at him. I’m so used to bein judged and I just know it’s gonna happen.

“Well Ah’m just a normal guy Deke. Ah ain’t gonna be touchin ya while ya sleep.”

I look up at Teddy and for some reason I believe him.

“Yeah. I know. I was just rememberin what happened back then.”

“Ah think Ah get it now. Just try calmin down so ya fall asleep.”

I start by layin down next to him. After takin some deep breaths I feel myself dozin off. I think bein with Teddy helped me out because I wake up curled against him. I start to feel scared when I hear him wakin up.

“Mornin Deke.”

He gets up as if nothin happened.

“Morning.”

“Listen Ah gotta get to work. Yer free to whatever’s in the fridge for breakfast.”

I sit up and put my shirt back on.

“Alright thanks.”

“No problem Deke. Where do ya plan on workin?”

I remember that I never figured that out myself.

“Oh. I was thinkin of lookin around town after breakfast and see what’s open.”

“Awright then. See ya later.”

I wave as Teddy leaves to go to work at the Brewery. I make good on trying to get a job and look around town before heading home. I figure that if I’m gonna stay here I should at least make dinner.

“Deke Ah got good news for ya.”

I look up from the stove.

“Really? What’d you hear?”

“Tomorrow ya got a meetin wit mah boss.”

I turn the gas off so I don’t burn myself.

“Your boss?”

“Yeah Ah took yer car today and the boss liked it so much Ah told em it was yours. Gives the company a classic look. So he said he wanted to meet wit ya tomorrow.”

I can barely stand so I sit down in the chair.

“Y-You really got me a meeting with the boss… over my car…?”

“All ya gotta do is drive us to the brewery and go to the boss’s office.”

I can’t even believe it that Teddy managed to make it happen for me. I hope it’s not some type of trick.

“Thanks a million Teddy. You did me a real favor.”

“Ah don’t worry about it. It ain’t like you ain’t returnin the favor makin me dinner like this.”

I look back at the stove top.

“Oh.”

I get out of my chair and finish cookin. After makin two plates I sit back down at the table.

“Thanks Deke.”

We start eatin and I ponder how this will work out. In the end it ended up bein exactly what I needed. Even though it was a bumpy road I made a good friend in Teddy. I end up meetin a nice girl named Susie and become one of the biggest names in the music industry. Lookin back I know I had a sad, horrible beginning but now I finally lived up to the name Deke Rivers. I can sleep peacefully now as all of the pain I experienced is gone. Finally I’m at peace.

Tagging: @arrolyn1114, @peskybedtime, @smokeymountainboy, @vintagepresley, and @thelonelyheart.

[mygloviesme]

cool about it, eleven years later. || myg || story finale

no. 3 out of 3: i can’t hide from you like i hide from myself

predebut/debut!yoongi x female idol

summary: eleven years later, kanako lives in nyc with her childhood best friend keiko. bts have become a household name that floods her every day life, and she's learned to ignore it. after years of moving on from those months she spent with the seven boys, she finds herself in a good place. what happens after one fateful night she finally runs into faces she's tried so hard to run away from?

(definitely inspired by boygenius)

word count: 10.5k (yup)

genre: ANGST, fluff, melodrama

chapter warnings: mentions of mental health, drinking (casual wine sipping), mentions of toxic ex, smut (missionary, oral f. receiving, dirty talk, praise? idk)

if you see any edit mistakes, no you don’t. it’s 5 am and I’m too eager to release this!

inspo song: xo by beyonce

"your face is all that i see, i give you everything"

 JULY 10TH, 2023, 9:46PM

It feels silly, us all being so much older and sleeping over in Jungkook’s hotel room. Although, it is a huge hotel room. Anyway, it feels like we're too old for sleepovers like this. Even Yoongi, who stayed quiet most of the car ride, groaned in annoyance.  Shouting, ‘Why did I spend so much money on a nice hotel if I was just gonna sleep on a couch?’

But Jungkook insisted and so did a still-tipsy Jimin. Namjoon was pretty neutral like always. I think he’s secretly excited though. I’m not sure if I can say the same for Yoongi. I couldn’t stop glancing at him during the car ride, examining his quick-witted retorts to Namjoon like I remembered. We’d swap eye-contact every once in a while, though fleeting, sending shock waves down to my core every time. But, the dust (my non-stop adrenaline) luckily settled once we arrived at the luxurious building. 

As we entered the room, an eager Jungkook races to his room, shuffling around to only come out with a set of clothes. And for a second, a brief moment, I swear he shrinks a couple inches. Like he’s as small as he was then. It’s not like I miss that version of him more because I can still feel he’s that boy in instances like these. But it’s nostalgic. “Here.” He says, handing me the stack. 

The sweats are soft and gray and the shirt I can smell even from here. Like laundry detergent, the one with the teddy bear on it. They feel undoubtedly expensive.

“O-Okay, I’m just gonna change in the bathroom.” I say, Jungkook nodding and pointing to the direction it’s in. I follow his finger and approach the tall door, turning the handle to enter inside. It gives me time to call Keiko and gather my thoughts. It’s been a long night filled with all sorts of things I have to sit and think about before I get back out and deal with it again.

Maybe not the yelling and shouting that occurred, but the thick awkwardness of the fact that we’re still getting used to each other. Eleven years is too long and two days is too short to recount everything we missed from each other's lives. The clock is ticking and I’m not sure how to slow down time. 

I place the clothes on the counter and reach inside my purse for my phone, opening my contacts to dial Keiko. Quickly. She picks up instantly like always. She’s great at that.

“Hey Koko, how’s everything going? Do you need a ride?”

I gulp, “N-No, I’m actually staying at their hotel tonight.”

I hear her freeze, “WHAT? You’re kidding!” 

“No, I’m not!” I whisper and cover my mouth to muffle my voice as much as I can. It would be another problem if they heard me gossiping about tonight. But I have to debrief with her, it’s what we do. 

“What do you mean by their hotel?”

 “Well it’s Jungkook’s, but everyone agreed to have a sleepover.”

“What the fuck. I wish I was there! Hook me up, dear god.” She whines. 

I laugh loudly, slapping my hand over my mouth when I realize the echoing it caused. 

“Shut up. Maybe. But anyway, I’ll be here.”

“So what’s gonna happen? You gonna snuggle up to Yoongi or what?” She says and I hear her eating on something. Probably the rocky-road she claimed to hate. Liar. 

“No, I’m not. Definitely not. We got into it tonight. Bad.” 

She gasps, “Tell me.”

I exhale softly, “It’s a long story, I’ll tell you later. But everything’s fine now. We made up.”

“You made up, really?” She says with doubt. Don’t sound so surprised, jeez. 

“Sort of. But there is one thing I wanted to tell you. Jimin got drunk and before me and Yoongi had…argued or whatever, he said ‘Yoongi isn’t the only one hung up on you.’ Talking about Jungkook. Isn’t that…crazy? What do you think it means?”

She sighs, “You know what it means, Koko. What did you expect from the boy? You guys cuddled like, every night.”

“He told me he considered me to be a sister!” I whisper-shout into the phone.

“I mean at first, yeah. But a hot girl coming to stay with seven boys every night? Come on.”

My face falls flat, my voice monotone. “I wish you’d keep some thoughts to yourself.”

“Anyway, that sounds complicated. But you’re a new Koko, new and improved. You can deal with this, I know you can. And if you wanna bail just call me up and I’ll come get you. I’ll be up for a while.” She reassures me. 

I smile, “Thanks, Keiko. Love you. I’ll see you later.”

I hang up the phone and set it down, placing my head on the counter to take a deep breath. My forehead sits on the cold marble as I try to ground myself, calm myself. I don’t want the events of tonight to tamper with me. I want to enjoy this. 

It hurts to think that they’ll be leaving in a day. That this night and tomorrow will be transient, because I miss them. I miss them like hell. I miss their laughs, their arguing. Their warm company that never fails to aid my stubborn, sad heart. As I lift my head to look at myself in the mirror, I witness the time that’s passed. The unmistakable creases on my face that have evolved as I got older. I wish they were here to see them as they came to fruition. I wish they could’ve seen and witnessed all my milestones. How did time pass by so quickly? I could’ve gotten so many more moments with them if I hadn’t left.

So many birthdays, holidays, everything. It’s not guilt that I feel, not even mourning. It's aching for all the time that I lost with them. They’ve always been my chosen family. And with Yoongi, even now I hurt when I think of everything that could’ve happened between us. Even if we stayed friends. Even if we stayed friends. 

I take a break from my feelings and put on the clothes Jungkook gave me in a hurry. I know I’ve spent an absurd amount of time in this bathroom, but I still hear them from behind this door. So I know they can’t be settling for bed already.

Tonight calls for a later bedtime. Although, I do have work tomorrow. 

JULY 11TH, 2023, 1:34AM

We’ve shared a bottle of wine or two throughout this night. Chatting about my own stories this time. All the things I’ve gotten into while living in this big city. Some stories I keep for myself, unsure of whether they’re appropriate for this late-night banter. Like the time in my work bathroom with a colleague of mine. That’s definitely unimportant. 

It isn’t long until Namjoon and Jungkook are calling it a night, surprisingly. I look at Yoongi who isn’t saying anything at all. Is he not going to bed? Should I say I’m calling it a night too just to avoid being alone with him?

I’ve wanted to talk with him ever since I saw him that night, but right now it scares me shitless.

“Kanako, you coming?” Jungkook asks me while carrying wine glasses to the sink. I revert from looking at Yoongi for reassurance, allowance, to stay back with him. I go with my gut. 

“N-No, I think I’ll stick around for a while longer.” Jungkook darts his eyes from me to Yoongi, sucking in his teeth. Is he upset?

“Well you can sleep in my bed. The three of us are taking the floor. It’s a big room, so. You know. Hope that’s okay.” His voice drips with irritation. He’s obviously discontent with me staying with Yoongi. I’ll take care of that later. 

“That’s okay with me.” I smile weakly.

He doesn’t necessarily listen to my response, instead turning his back to walk to the room. Namjoon and a sleepy Jimin bidding a good night before following suit. 

I watch them leave, counting down the seconds until they’re out of sight. It’s easier if I act like I’m distracted by them instead of talking to Yoongi. 

I grab the second bottle of wine that’s been opened by Jungkook earlier tonight, pouring myself another glass. Keeping busy. Still avoiding. I feel his eyes on me, though. I think he’s wondering if I’ll say something first. But to my surprise, he speaks. 

His isolated voice sends chills down to my abdomen, echoing in this sleek lounge space. His voice has always been low, smooth. Perfect to listen to as you’re falling asleep. I remember that so vividly. Him whispering to me as we both drifted off to sleep, kissing my sleepy face. His affection was constant. I remember the relentless hands all over my body when he got the chance. Shit, what did he say?

I widen my eyes, “S-Sorry. What was that?”

He laughs and takes a sip of the dark red liquid, talking in the glass. 

“So you and Keiko get along well?” He repeats. 

I bob my head from side-to-side, “Something like that. I’m kidding. Yes. We got along great, she’s like my sister.” There’s a loud nervousness in me that he’s not reciprocating. His words are confident, curious. I’m not used to this. Is it bad that I’m so anxious around him? Those almond eyes look ethereal beside the glow of the city lights. He’s beautiful. I wish I could take a photo of him right now. 

“That’s great.” He responds casually. 

Silence. 

I drink from my wine again, “Mmm- I listened to your solo album. It’s amazing.” I say, acting like the thought just came to mind. 

He nods, “Thanks. It took a while to make but I’m happy with the outcome. And tour was good too.”

“Right! Tour! I saw photos.” I wince at how well I’ve been keeping up with all of their extracurriculars. 

His eyes never break eye contact with me as he speaks, “What’d you think?”

I chortle nervously, “It looked really cool and thought-out. I think all of your songs are great.”

“All of them?”

Shit. The elephant in the room has stomped its way through the door. 

“Y-Yeah. All of them.” I whisper, fiddling with the stem of my wine glass. 

I want to ask, how many other songs are about me? And have you written as much about Aimee? But I’m too old to be spiteful. It’s making me gray faster. 

His veiny fingers push through his long hair, falling perfectly back into place as he sets his hand down on the kitchen counter. It suits him so well. He looks so sophisticated, and it’s still so surreal that I’m in front of him once again. Just like an inevitability, like death (morbid, I know) I had weirdly accepted that I would never see them, him, ever again. Was that selfish of me?

The reechoing of stillness makes my mind wander towards the city that never sleeps. It’s especially louder tonight during the absence of either of our voices. 

I hear the honking and bustling of city life, something that never gets old. I loved it when I first got here. It filled in the gaps of silence so I wouldn’t be forced to think so much when I was sleeping at night. When I’d be crying myself out of tears because of the long-haired man sitting beside me. I would think about the young kids, whose night was just starting. The people closing up shop, the babies being put to bed. It was easier to live outside of myself here. You can’t help but love everything around you. Even the sweaty summer and nasty rain and the smell of garbage that never leaves certain streets. It’s become my new home. Nothing like Korea or Japan. Maybe that’s the point. 

As I sit next to Yoongi, someone who reminds me of the past loneliness I used to feel, it scares me again. I’m not sure if him turning out to be a complete stranger, or the same Yoongi I used to know, is better. It’s nice to know that after all this time he can still look at me like an equal. Like I didn’t abandon him. But do I want him to have completely forgotten about the girl I used to be? I did not prepare for this in therapy. 

“I wish I had invited you to visit me.” I confess, staring off into the glass window behind him. 

He looks at me softly, “I wish you did too. But I’m here now. We’re here now. It’s okay.” He says, and I have a feeling he’s talking about us two instead of all five. It’s consoling. And there it is again, that x-ray vision he has into my thoughts. Or am I being ridiculous once more?

“Is it?” My overthinking takes over. It was eleven years ago, yes. But it was hard, it was breaking. How could I not apologize, or even ask how I can make up for it? I have so much to say, but I await his answer instead. 

He shifts, “It is. I’m sorry for…what I said at dinner. It was impulsive and not thought out. I should’ve known not to say that.”

My expression grows dejected. I feel like I should be the one apologizing, so I do. 

“Don’t be sorry. At all. I mean– it had to come up either way. I know what I did must’ve affected you all. It affected me a lot. So, I’m sorry. For not reaching out, for leaving everything unsaid.”

His lips curl into a weak smile, “We were all young. We didn’t know the full extent of what you were going through, Kanako. All is forgiven, I promise. I’m just happy to be talking with you now.” 

I nod slowly, partially accepting his forgiveness and willingness to move on. It’s hard to believe that’s all there is to it, but I want to believe him. I’m not going to blame myself for the feelings I had because of my failing career and abusive relationship, but I can feel guilt for not talking to them even after the healing. That’s what I thought was best for myself at the time, what would help me move on better. 

And maybe it did in some ways, but I now know it just feels good, as well as other things, to be under the same roof as Yoongi again.

And between the beat of silence I get the confidence to ask, “So you and Aimee?”

He throws his head back with an amused smile, “Ah- no. I just ran into her that night and we kind of- kissed. Or something. But she’s way too young for me.”

I’m glad he feels comfortable enough to tell me, but it still stings just a little bit. But they’re not even together. All this overthinking only gave me more stress. Old habits die hard, I guess. 

“I see. So you’re…”

“Single? You’re quite nosy, Kanako.”

With a slip of the tongue I say, “I love it when you say my name.” But yet, nothing about it is sensual. It’s like I’m dancing around a thought neither of us want to fully think about. There’s a line.

His gaze becomes gentler, “I know.” 

God, he knows?

He grins at me before grabbing the bottle of wine to top off my glass, saying nothing. How could he just say that? It’s impossible to read him right now, which is something I would’ve never expected. If it was eleven years back, that is. 

“I’m single.” He responds and sits back comfortably in his chair. 

His words sound premeditated, like he knew I would ask. And he would answer. It seems the both of us are being a bit self-indulgent with our questions tonight. But the way he talks to me is seemingly affectionate. He’s no longer carrying me like water in his hands. I’m the glass he’s drinking in. 

I still feel inexperienced, something he obviously isn’t anymore. I can’t leech onto anything to make me feel more at ease, not even his presence that radiates heat. 

“And you? Were you being honest at dinner or do you have a secret boyfriend?” He teases. 

“I’m not sure why I’d keep it a secret.” I laugh, “But no, no one. Just me and Keiko.”

He hums and peers around the room. “Like Jimin said, has there ever been…someone?”

I hesitate for a moment. “I was being painfully honest about that too. I’ve seen guys, I guess. But this city feels so small sometimes I think I’ve run out of options.” I inch my gaze towards him like I’m afraid to know the next answer, “You?” I ask.

“Sort of, yeah. One. I was twenty five and it was only for a year. I just got too busy and she got impatient with me, so we thought to just end it.”

“Was it hard?” I whisper. 

“Yeah it was.” He chuckles and scratches the back of his with nervousness, “I loved her but…life just gets in the way. It’s annoying. I’m over it though.”

It feels so odd to talk to him about this. Would you call it exes bonding over exes? Or lack thereof on my part. But I’m glad he’s been loved. That he found that. It’s comforting to know about him, even if I wasn’t there. It hurts, but I’m putting maturity above my feelings.

“So-”

“I wanted to-”

We speak at the same time, sharing casual laughter soon after. I let him go first. 

He puffs out, “Uh, I just– wanted to say that…I hope you didn’t feel offended. After I released those songs.” He says repentantly. 

“Oh,” I tense up, “Not at all. Not at all. If you felt so musically inclined-”

“Shut up.”

“If you felt so musically inclined to, then I can’t blame you for it, right?”

He titters slightly, swiveling his drink. I can tell he’s relieved by the way his smize stays on his face, but there’s a disinclination to him as the seconds turn into minutes. 

He taps his glass, “I meant every word, Kanako.” He says quietly.

There’s no need for repetition, I digest what he said like I’ve been starving for days. 

I hang onto every word for what feels like hours, mouth slightly open before I can figure out what I’m going to say. I enjoy seeing him like this, honest. Vulnerable. I want to savor it. It’s sparking something inside of me that I thought had been shriveled into nothing. 

“I know, Yoongi.” I make it sound like it’s about to end. This, all of this. Like the feelings we had, or have, are only being brought up in passing. But there’s nothing about this that I’m ready to finalize. I now know, ever since that time I left, that his love for me ran like the ocean. I was the combining waves to his body of water. It’s still there. Am I getting ahead of myself?

As we settle into each other's energy at this moment, it’s a shared realization that there is no fire we have to combat anymore. It’s a mutual source we both want to indulge in. Calm. It would be a lie if I said it wasn’t a stormier, thrashing feeling than I’d planned. 

But it’s all the same. 

His hand lingers face down on the wrap-around kitchen counter, begging for touch. I keep mine on my glass, not giving in just yet. It could either turn out to be embarrassing or something else I need to procrastinate from dealing with. 

“Any other songs I should know about?” I joke. 

His expression is stoic, “Most of them.” 

My heart skips a couple beats. If I didn’t know any better I’d think I was going into cardiac arrest. With his body language it seems like he’s being completely serious. Completely, utterly serious.

He keeps his gaze on his hand, chuckling to himself. 

“What?” I share his amusement with a bit of confusion. 

He clenches his jaw.

“I think I’ll go crazy if you don’t touch me, Kanako.” 

I’m stunned by his frankness, not being able to speak. Is it now that I’m suddenly at a loss? Why is it now I have nothing to say anymore? All the worry, the thoughts, the stress course through my veins pour out of me as he looks at me. His gaze can’t be more gentle, more loving. But there’s a neediness within him that’s seeping to me. I can’t deny him of that, or myself. 

“Yoongi-”

“I need– I don’t even– I’m sorry. I’m not sure why I said that.”

“You don’t?” I ask, because the answer is obvious to me. I want to touch him too. I’m letting my childlike recklessness take over. There’s not one voice in my head saying ‘no’ louder than the ones saying ‘yes’. Yes, yes, yes. 

“I don’t know where to start.” He whispers. 

“I don’t know either.” I respond. Because the answer to that is obvious as well. It’s painfully, unfortunately obvious. We just want each other, that’s all there is to it. Why speak when we can forget it all? Maybe even start where we left off? That could never happen.

His hand strides over to my face in what feels like a quiet but grand gesture, leaning his body slowly into mine. It’s impulsive, rushed. We both have no idea what we’re doing and what this will lead to. 

“Yoongi…” I breathe as he draws his lips closer to me. They’re so shiny, and I remember that cupid's bow so well. His mouth brushes over mine and before I can take another breath, he plants onto me softly. I’m almost too afraid to touch him, knowing it’ll make it all the more real. If I let myself enjoy this moment, will it go too far?

Will I expect things from him he won’t be able to give me? Because I can’t live another eleven years without him. Now that I’m tasting him again, I’m not sure how I even lasted.

It’s slow and his tongue speaks a language that makes the minimal space between us agonizing. Closer, wetter, sensual. It’s what I crave most as his mouth moves with mine in a deep rhythm. I feel the vibration of a low hum coming from this throat, causing me to release the tiniest moan only he could hear. His fingers are relentless with caresses to my jaw, neck, anywhere. 

I keep my hands in his hair, diving into the soft strands that were once mine. I follow the natural growth and end up at his neck, tousling with the hair that almost reaches his shoulders. It was never this long, never this thick. Everything about him is pillowy and soft, so easy to get lost in. He’s eating me whole, and I let him. 

But, there’s a familiar stinging of discomfort when I try enveloping him fully, something that tugs at my heartstrings. Telling me that this is all too much, it’s too painful. I can taste the spotting of wine in his saliva and can only think to pull away in a sudden movement. I need to click my heels to get back into reality, I need to go home. 

“Kanako-” He whispers, caught off guard by my swift action. 

“This is all too–I don’t know if I can do this.” I mutter breathlessly, my head still caught up in the moment we had a second ago, the feelings that are boiling to the surface. My insides are twisting and being turned inside out. This is not how I thought any of this would go.

“Don’t do that, not now.” He asserts.

I’m choking up now, the tears that live inside of me never fail to reset whenever I’m caught. But I know exactly what he’s referring to. No need to play dumb. He knew me then and he can recognize me now. Maybe not know me, not fully, but we’re intertwined together whether we like it or not. His eyes scan me, needing an answer. Don’t run away, they say. 

“I’m not trying to,” My voice shakes, looking back into his gaze again. “I just–I still, I love you.” I say, like I’ve been holding it back since last night. Because I have, every inch of my body is regurgitating those words like they were never supposed to come up. 

He doesn’t speak for a moment, causing me to get up from my seat and try to collect myself. I’m thinking he doesn’t love me back, how could he when it’s been so long? I’m so stupid. 

He takes a short breath, “Of course I love you too, Kanako. How could I stop? How could I have ever stopped?” He says almost angrily. He’s frustrated with my need to escape him again. I can sense it. 

“It’s been too long, we’re strangers.” I respond, fighting the idea that we could ever go back. 

“We need to try. I need to. I couldn’t stop writing songs about you, I couldn’t stop hoping that one day I would find you again. It was never supposed to end that way. Don’t you think so too?” He pleads, his words come out in a blurt-like manner. He’s standing with me as well, his frame still a few inches above me like it was that time ago. 

“And then what– everything just turns out perfectly? We all just live like nothing ever happened?” I shake my head in visible denial.

He takes a step closer to me, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “No, but we can figure it out. Slowly, but it can happen. Unless you don’t want it to. I can respect that, Kanako. We don’t have to be romantic. Just don’t leave. Pick up my calls, write to me, visit. Anything. Just come back to me.” He whispers. He’s stripped any wall down that stood there previously. We’re now eye-to-eye, lips closening once again. 

He’s magnetic. He’s my home. I’ve tried clicking my heels but I always end up back here, with him. Even if it was just in my dreams. But now he’s real, and how could I ever reject something that makes me feel this good? This loved?

And as he pulls me in once more, to kiss me once more, he says, “Let me in.”

So I’m now his, completely. I don’t feel spun around or twisted into nothing, I feel like his lips are the warm blanket wrapping around my aching body. His mouth aids my thoughts and his fingers ease my tense shoulders. I give in to him. He’s promised himself to me and pleaded that I come back to him. So I will. This time with no hesitation. 

We’re underneath the roof that hides the night sky but as he holds me to lengthen our kiss, I feel like the stars are twinkling above our heads. Like there’s constellations brushing against my neck and the moon is only inches away. I move our bodies closer to the couch, Yoongi’s back now pressed up against it.

He takes my hint and swiftly walks around the gray fixture, taking my hands so I follow him. I turn to him and push his chest softly so he lays down on the plush cushions, his eyes following every single movement I make. He has this smile he always used to have whenever it was just us. Whenever I’d be above him, tugging at my shirt like I am now. 

He sits up, placing his hands over mine that were about to take off my shirt. “Can I do it?” He whispers quietly, desperation leaking off every word. I nod slowly, feeling as he begins to peel off the thin fabric. His fingers brush over my stomach, causing a chill to run down my arms. He gives me goosebumps without having to do anything. 

As he has my shirt fall down on the floor, he runs his hands down my stomach slowly, curling his knuckles into the band of my skirt. He shimmies the tight material down my thighs until it pools around my ankles, leaving nothing to the imagination. His eyes carve out the small details of my body, my mind reeling every time he looked me up-and-down as if we were just two strangers ogling each other. 

Although he’s seen me before, seen all of me, that version of me doesn’t exist anymore. I have new spots and scars and a good amount of weight that wasn’t there previously. It has me feeling a little self-conscious, hoping he isn’t disappointed. I don’t feel a need for his validation, but his reassurance. 

“I don’t have my idol body anymore in case you couldn’t tell.” I joke sheepishly, dropping my head slightly to scan myself. 

He pulls me in, having me straddle his now laying body. “You mean you don’t have the same body you did when you were eighteen? That’s normal and completely, totally fine with me. I want you how you are now.” He kisses my fingers individually as he speaks. I sigh into the softness of his lips as they plant on my fingertips, needing more of him. 

I then jerk my hand from him playfully, a confused expression morphing on his face.

“I wanna see you now.” I say lowly. 

He sets his arms above him like he’s waiting to be undressed which causes a small laugh from me. I lift his shirt off of him, crawling down his body awkwardly for his pants next. “This isn’t as sexy as I’d want it to be.” I mutter.

He chuckles, “But you look cute doing it.” He reaches over to pet my head, which I realize I liked more than I’d be able to admit.

I huff and yank the ankles of his pants to get it over with, once and for all. I let the piece of clothing fall down beside the couch and go back to where I was previously. 

He hums, “As much as I like seeing you on top of me, I think we should do this properly. It is our first time, isn’t it?” 

A smile extends on my face hearing him say those words, although we’re still doing it on a couch, it’s the effort that counts, right? So I abide, letting him sit up so we can trade places. I feel much younger again with the way everything is so airy. My first time with Haneul wasn’t as loving as I had once thought it was. Nothing about that relationship was loving, but it makes me happy to know that I could do this with Yoongi. As if it was a redo, after all those other men these past eleven years. 

I’ve had good sex, don’t get me wrong. But never anything as intimate as this. 

As Yoongi hovers over me, he leans down to press his lips against mine. We get back into what was happening earlier, desperately locking into each other. Filling any gaps of space, which resided into Yoongi sneakily sliding his knee between my thighs. There’s heat radiating off of my sensitivity, including a pooling of wetness as he grinds into me. 

He looks so hot in his black boxers and I use his nearly nude body to my advantage, caressing his soft shoulders. Every part of his body is warm, it’s real. He’s real. His body has changed too. I can tell he’s been working out a little more. Which is never, ever a bad thing. I can’t get enough of him, bucking my hips into his knee further. 

“I’ll give you what you want in a moment,” He teases as his lips part from mine. He kisses down my chin to my neck, licking softly on my collarbones. As his tongue lingers on my skin he lifts my back to unhook my bra almost seamlessly. It causes a gasp from me, feeling the cold air as it bites at my breasts suddenly. His fingers make circles on the sensitive area, teasing my hard nipples. 

His mouth travels down my body but his hands stay on my chest until he’s reached the start of my underwear. I arch my back further when I feel his hot breath against my clothed heat, Yoongi pecking a kiss before he redirects his hands. “This okay?” He asks quietly while his hands play with each side of my panties. 

“Yes, yes.” I whisper quickly. I need him so badly, his mouth, his tongue. I want him inside of me, most importantly. To know what he feels like on top of me. But I can wait, especially if that means he’ll mouth-fuck me first. 

He slides down my underwear slowly, leaving me fully nude. My breath hitches when I feel his hands, quick to spread my legs. He urges me to throw a leg over the couch, so I do. This, I’m not as insecure about. Not when I’m so desperately needy.

His finger glides over the slit of my pussy, “Pretty Kanako. So wet for me. Is it? Just for me?”

I release a shaky breath from my throat, nodding slowly. 

“Let me hear you, pretty. Tell me it’s just for me.”

He’s making an absolute puddle of me, literally and metaphorically. Feeling my secretion dripping down to his already drenched finger that’s barely touched me. “Just for you. All for you.” I whine. 

My hips stutter against Yoongi’s curious mouth, “That’s my pretty baby,” He purrs. He lets his tongue sliver to my opening, flattening the center and licking me slowly. 

“Oh– god,” I choke out, feeling his lips suction around my clit and tugging at it teasingly. 

His mouth releases in a quiet pop– delving back into his previous motions. His tongue shamelessly digs into me, my wet mess painting his chin erotically. He hums into my pussy with devious intent, knowing the vibrations of his velvety voice would send me into a spiral.

– And it does, my hands trying to grab into anything I could to contain myself. I had to remember we were doing this with three people in the next room over, unfortunately. The only time I didn’t want those boys in the same presence as me. 

I try to whisper a ‘f-faster’ but all that escapes is a sigh. I think he understands because before I know it, he uses his fingers to spread me open, covered in my slick. His eyes dart to mine, looking into me as he plants his tongue on my vulnerable clit. My brows furrow and my mouth forms a quiet whimper, feeling him burying his face into me.

My cheeks are burning with a dark red, sweat forming at my forehead. The sight of his moppy hair and bare skin tugging at my thighs is enough to make me want to call it. I need to know how it’d feel to have all inches of his length in me. I remember how big he was– how much I would’ve given to have him tear me open then. And now the moment is so close, including my approaching orgasm. 

His tongue is greedy– and if I didn’t know any better I’d assume this act was for himself. How much he’s sucking and licking me clean, making sure I'm trembling– he loves this. 

“I c-can’t come yet– I need you..” I complain as my body says otherwise. 

He lifts his head to stop, making sure to replace his tongue with his thumb to play with my clit instead. “You sure? My Kanako doesn’t want to come all over my face? Because I know how much you loved it then.” He retorts. It’s hard to wrap my mind around having a normal conversation in the midst of my shaky legs and swollen clit, so I speak, although foggily. 

I place my wrist on my forehead, “I-I do, but I need you inside me. Please.” I plead breathlessly. 

His thumb stops and he travels to my upper body slowly, not bothering wiping the glossy slick that’s smeared on his face. Instead he rushes for a kiss, all forms of fluids being swapped between our mouths. “My needy girl.” He taunts with a smirk on his face. 

His hands travel to his boxers, taking them off swiftly. My wandering eyes still lock on his lengthy dick, seeing it bounce straight up due to how hard he’s become. There’s a familiar liquid that has the head glistening– precum. He gulps as his eyes look back to my body, hot and swollen. I’m a mess for him, I’m utterly open for him. My fingers trickle down to my saturated pussy, circling my clit to provoke him. 

His fingers grip his cock, pumping slowly as he stares at me playing with myself. He’s set in stone, groaning at the scene before him. 

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” He mutters, making gentle eye contact with me. I smile warmly as a thank you, feeling him line his cock against my opening. He pushes in enough to where the tip is fully in, moving his hands so they’re on both sides of me. 

I grab a handful of his hair, bringing his head into the nape of my neck as he makes his first thrust. I let out a gasp that echoes throughout the lounge room when his thrusts become two, three, until he’s created a slow rhythm to ease us both into it. Kanako, pretty pretty Kanako. I love you so much, love being inside you, he moans into my skin.

As pleasure cases him in a haze, his movements speak for him, his cock twitching with every inch he buries into me. I’ve hit the point where I’m beyond words, just spiraling into the mess he’s created of me. All that’s coming out is pitiful whimpers as my hands grip at his hair and back. 

“Y-You’re tightening around my c-cock, you know that?” He moans in disbelief. He removes his head from my neck to sit up right, continuing to pump into me. They’re growing faster by the second but by his sultry eyes I can tell he wants to savor every moment of this. I take in the crevices that outline his skin. The soft muscles around his stomach and his veiny hands that are holding steady on my stomach. 

He’s focused on pushing himself further into me, wanting to fill up my insides with as much of his cock as he can. He slips a hand to my ankle that’s resting over the couch, placing it on his shoulder to gain more momentum. My head brushes the arm of the couch as he fastens his pace, watching as he bites his lip. “You look so good underneath me, baby. Keep your eyes on me– wanna see how you look taking all of me,” And so I do, enjoying every single second of my view of him ramming into me like he knows nothing else. 

His thumb climbs back over to my clit, rubbing it gently to induce an orgasm from me. I can only assume he’s close, seeing his mouth agape and his thrusts becoming pounds. He’s hitting that spot inside me repeatedly, the overstimulation making me forget about how quiet I’m supposed to be. 

“Yoongi…yoongi…fuck-!” His name rolls off my tongue effortlessly. 

“Give it to me, pretty. Cover my dick in your cum, please,” He grunts quietly, leaning his head back with elation.

His sweaty bangs hang over his reddened face as he pumps into me in-and-out like clockwork. I watch him clench his jaw, his hold on my calf becoming tighter as his body reaches closer and closer to release. I tighten around him as the thumb he has pressed against my clit becomes too much to bear, tears pricking my eyes. “Yoongi, please–” I whimper loudly, digging my hands into his back.

He groans behind his teeth– snapping his hips to pump into my slick heat, our fluids conjoining together, making his dick glisten with a foggy whiteness. I shut my eyes quickly and let the sensations take over, a rush of warmth starting from my toes to my head. 

It makes me hazy in every sense of the word, high off the feeling of his dick hitting my sensitive spot over and over again— whilst he simultaneously circles my swollen clit with the pad of his thumb. 

“O-Oh shit–” I moan, my legs nearly going limp underneath him. I feel Yoongi slide his cock out,

grabbing a fistful of my hair to bring my face up to his dick. “Open f-for me, baby,” He demands, and I do so, having him stuff my mouth full of his length. 

I place my hands on his hips and stroke him with my tongue, suctioning his hard cock. 

“God– fuck!” He moans, tugging at my hair as he paints the inside of my mouth with white. I don’t let go from my grip on his skin, bobbing my head into him to stretch out his orgasm as much as I can. We’re both as tired as can be but watching him from below like this, seeing him unravel, is all I need to keep going. 

“Baby– baby…” He cooes as he glides his length from my mouth, collapsing from his knees and pressing his forehead against mine– breathing heavily. He grabs my face with his hands and kisses my mouth lazily, “My Kanako…I love you,” He whispers, moving his lips to scatter pecks all over my face. 

“I love you, Yoongi. I love you so much.” I reply lazily, succumbing to his sloppy kisses. He holds me like this for moments on end, forehead pressed against mine. We share each other's air as our chests move fast, heavy. I can see his tired state and yet– he’s unable to let go of me. Breathing me in as I am him, not wanting to end this just yet. 

But of course there seems to be always something, especially when it comes to the fact we just had sex on this hotel couch. Nice hotel couch, ‘kay?

“What the actual fuck.” The moment is interrupted, like a dumbbell being dropped on a glass coffee table. I’m struck with the deepest sense of horror and embarrassment, reality hitting me hard and fast. Jungkook is stood there, boxers only, rubbing his eyes as he stares at me and Yoongi. We’re both covered in sex and must smell like it too– Yoongi grabbing a pillow to throw over me. 

“Jungkook, this is– it’s-” Yoongi starts, but the young boy cuts him off.

“You guys are really…” He trails off in his scratchy-sleep voice. 

I furrow my brows angrily, so many feelings being present at once. 

“Just- let me get dressed and we can talk about this.” I urge him, darting my eyes around to emphasize the current situation. My naked body, Yoongi’s now soft dick, and a messy couch. 

Jungkook shakes his head and goes back into his room to get dressed as well, is what I choose to assume. The door shuts quietly and I turn to Yoongi– my eyes wide. “Fuck. Fuck.” I whisper yell at him. 

“I’m sorry, I know-”

“I need to talk to him.”

“Kanako, he’s older now. He isn’t fifteen anymore, don’t you think he can handle it?” Yoongi questions. I bite my lip and pick up my clothes from the floor, deciding to put Yoongi's bigger shirt on instead of my tight one. I don’t bother snapping my bra back on– too much work. 

I answer while changing, “There’s other conflicts at hand. I think you know what they are.” I respond. Yoongi grows faint, only nodding. 

As I struggle to put on my skirt I decide to leave it off, knowing the baggier top will cover whatever my underwear can’t. “Just let me talk to him. I’ll be back. Tell him to meet me out there.” I say evenly, pointing my gaze to the balcony. 

Yoongi sighs in acceptance and plants a kiss on my forehead, “As long as you come back.” 

JULY 11TH, 2023, 3:30AM

I stand on the balcony, arms resting on the railing. There couldn’t be anything more nostalgic than standing out here. Under the stars in this summer air. Reminds me of all those good and bad moments I had in their dorms. This would be the perfect way to end this night– if it wasn’t for what just happened. 

I hear Jungkook behind me, his hand closing the sliding door. “Hey.” He mutters. 

“Jungkook…” I say almost immediately, needing to hash whatever it is to come.

“You know it’s funny,” He shifts, walking next to me with his hands stuffed in his pockets.“When I got here at first, I didn’t even know it had a balcony. It’s covered behind those curtains, but I felt drawn to it. So I opened them and discovered this. You were the first thing I thought of when I got out here.”

“Really?” I ask, entertaining the sudden change in topic. If it keeps me from having to talk about what he walked into, I’ll gladly do so. 

“Kanako, you pop up into my head at least once a day.”

“For the past eleven years?”

His mouth stutters before he speaks, “Never skipped a day. I…don’t think any of us went a full twenty-four hours without thinking of you.” 

I whisper a small ‘oh’, looking at him fondly. The night sky shadows his face perfectly, following the curvature of his nose to his lips. That lip ring, I can’t deny it looks great on him. My eyes

can’t help but trail to the sleeve on his arm, scattered in permanent ink. I crave for the mutuality we had before. But I don’t regret doing what I did with Yoongi, even if it makes me selfish. 

“What about you?” He meets my eyes, “Did you ever think about me?”

I ache at his voice, hearing him ask that. Like he should know. He needs to know. 

“Every day.” I confess easily. I’ve been needing to say that. “I’m sorry I didn’t call…or-or pick up. I wasn’t strong enough. I couldn’t…” My voice gets shaky and my throat gets caught. 

He wraps his arm around me casually, like he used to before. This time it’s able to loop around my shoulder fully, and it covers more. It’s solid and warm, comforting. 

“I forgive you.” He says, placing a kiss on my head. I nuzzle into his embrace, accepting the forgiveness I don’t think I deserve. Maybe I will one day, but I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for everything I lost. 

“Thank you, Jungkook.” I smile, persevering through the stinging that’s currently ripping me in two. A beat of silence floats above us, but it isn’t unwanted. It’s singing softly, like background music. I settle into the darkness of the sky, enjoying the feeling of having him here again. 

I always dreamt about this. About seeing them, him, Yoongi, all over again. I’m so content. But still, there’s a question. Undeclared queries my mind is aching to figure out the answer to.

“Jungkook–”

“I know.” 

“But-”

“I’ll get over it.” 

He sucks in his teeth, nodding as if accepting his fate. I shake my head and separate my body from his. He looks at me like I’m being difficult, “Kanako, let’s not do this.” He argues.

I bite the inside of my cheek, “I can’t…be truly happy with Yoongi if you’re in pain. It’s not fair.”

His expression softens. It’s almost like he’s the eldest, the one to talk me down. It makes me devastated to see him take on this role. The bigger person, the mature one. 

“I can’t be truly happy if you’re not. I love you, so that means I want the best for you. I-I would’ve fought for you. I could’ve. God Kanako– the things I would’ve done to have you–” He chuckles to himself, running a hand through his messy hair, “But you’ve never been mine.” He finishes, pupil’s still focused on me. 

You’ve never been mine. Those words pain me, thinking of what he must’ve felt through all of this. The heartbreak, the loss, and now the rejection. If only I could feel what he felt, if I could aid his pain in some way. The thought of giving up Yoongi for Jungkook is not at all an easy one, not one I’d choose in this lifetime. The boy was never that to me. if I could be two different people, just so he could have a part of me in the way he wants, I would. 

But that’s not possible. It never will be. 

I exhale heavily, processing everything he’s just said. Everything that’s happened the past few hours. 

“How did it even come to that? The last thing I remember…” I whisper.

“It wasn’t until you were gone, like really really gone, Kanako. I was just a kid, I didn’t know what those feelings were. How I felt about…a life with you. One that was different than I initially thought. And when I finally did I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I needed to talk to you, to know if that could ever happen.”

“Is that why? You called for-for months?”

He looks down, “Towards the end, yeah. Until it was clear that you didn’t want to be…known anymore. I know different now, obviously. But, it broke me. I was so angry that every girl I was ever with was compared to you. Every girl I wanted was just a replica of you. I mean– whatever. It’s…whatever.” He shrugs and shifts his gaze back to the streets before us. 

I peer my head over to him, “I’m sorry, Jungkook. I’m so sorry. I wish…that I could-”

“Don’t do that to me, Kanako. Please.” He mutters, still refusing my direction. 

I reach my finger for his chin, tilting it towards me. There’s watery tears pooling his eyes, making me crumble at the sight. I would do anything to heal his hurt, to make this all the easier. But would it be selfish of me to choose Yoongi? There is no other option for me, besides no one at all. 

I don’t love Jungkook the way he wants me to, I don’t think I ever could. He holds a big piece of my heart, one made especially for him. He fits into the crevice so perfectly, but the space for anything more is nonexistent. I could never kiss him the way I do Yoongi, never look at him like a lover. He’s my Jungkook. While Yoongi holds the position of soulmate, Jungkook is my twin flame. Connected by familiarity and nostalgia, everything that has to do with the word ‘home.’

He smiles, the one he does where I can see his two front teeth. He’s back. 

“I won’t. Just stay by our side again, okay?” He says, though I know through layers of pain.

He almost jumps at me– bringing me in for a tight hug. I go on my tip-toes slightly to rest my chin on his shoulder, surrendering all my tension into his arms. “I’ll stay. I’ll stay, Kookie.”

He hums and rocks me slightly, from side-to-side. I reach my hand over his arm to wipe the small drops that were close to running down my face. This time, and maybe one of the firsts, the tears being happy ones. Pure, indescribable bliss runs through my body like clear river water, knowing I’m back with them for good.

“You’ll be here tomorrow, right? We can go to breakfast and maybe some art galleries?” Jungkook sniffles, parting from the hug. 

I sigh whilst my body cringes, thinking of work. Fuck. 

“I have to go to work tomorrow, my boss needs me to review some stuff.” I whine, showing my blatant annoyance. 

He frowns, “You can’t call out?”

I puff out, placing my hands on my hips. “Jungkook.”

“Sorry, sorry. That’s okay, I suppose. But you’ll make it to visit us before our flight? It’s at 6 pm, but you can see us at four-thirtyish, before we head out so you’re not caught by paparazzi or something.”

I nod quickly, “Yes, absolutely. I can do that.”

Some quietness passes, he shuffles his feet awkwardly. 

“What?” I squint, confused. 

“Well, what about…after? Will we hear from you? WIll you…visit?” He mumbles coherently enough to where I can understand. I hesitate, but only for a millisecond. I’m sure of it now, all of it. I won’t run away. Not when it’s good for me. And they’re good for me. 

A part of me flickers thinking of Korea again. But I think it’ll look different, feel different. I’m embracing the old Kanako as much as the new one. If anything, I’m excited to experience it as the person I am now. See it in a different lens. Maybe I’ll visit the Han River again, ride bikes with Namjoon and have picnics with Yoongi. 

And most importantly, I know my mothers spirit resides there. She isn’t a ghost to me anymore, something I’m afraid of. Keiko’s made it easier to celebrate her. I can do that again. With them. 

I reassure the young boy, “I’ll call, text, send letters, and facetime. And…maybe I’ll stop by for a visit or two. Possibly stay at your place?” I bite my lip, staring up to him teasingly. Knowing he’ll definitely like the idea of me sleeping over like all those times before. 

He shrugs like it’s no big deal, “Sure, yeah. Whatever. You’re gonna have to tell Yoongi that he’s gonna have to split the time up…or we’ll just share the bed again.”

“I’m nearly thirty, Jungkook. I can’t do that.”

He pouts. 

I roll my eyes in response, “Ok. Maybe.” 

The sliding door opens once more, a now-dressed Yoongi peering from inside. Jungkook tenses just a bit, not saying anything as he enters. 

“Everything..okay?” Yoongi asks, folding his arms to protect himself from the slight cold that lingers. 

I smile at Jungkook who in turn eases back up. 

“I was actually just telling Jungkook,” I turn back to Yoongi, “That I’ll be visiting you guys before you head off for the airport. Work and stuff.” I finish. Jungkook nods in agreement, shoving me playfully. “Tell him what else.” He whispers. 

I suck in a breath, “Andddd, I’ll be visiting you soon. In Korea. So don’t get sick of me just yet.” 

He follows to where me and Jungkook are, placing his elbows on the balcony railing. We all look at each other fondly, taking mental pictures of this moment. 

Yoongi exhales, “If you're the one taking care of me, I hope I get sick all the time.” 

Jungkook cringes, “That was so bad, hyung.” 

JULY 11TH, 2023, 4:27PM

There’s been many times throughout my work day that I’ve fallen asleep. If it wasn’t for this day being especially busy, I would’ve passed out on my desk. But everything in me was fighting to stay conscious. Not because I was needed, but because of the boys. 

Embarrassingly so, they were my main priority of the day. I made sure I got everything done just in time to clock out early, rushing to gather my things and speeding out the door. 

Now I sit in an Uber in the middle of traffic. The hotel they’re staying at is ten minutes away by car but fifteen minutes on foot. I bounce my leg anxiously as I dart my gaze from my phone to the busy road. The minutes are passing quickly and I can’t seem to slow time down. 

“Five o’clock traffic, right?” The driver laughs, tapping the wheel to the song that’s playing on the radio. 

My brows are furrowed and I’m biting my lip, hard. Ignoring whatever the man at the front said when my thoughts become deafening. 

Shit. I have no choice. 

It’s already four-thirty, so I grip the door handle and apologize profusely. 

“Sorry! Sorry! I’ll pay you for the full thing! Bye!” I exclaim, opening the door. I grab my bag and throw it over my body, cross-bodying it. I look down to my sneakers that I swapped out before I left for work, thanking God I didn’t forget my usual routine. New York is the most walk-able, non-walk-able city to ever exist. You always need a pair of these if you are gonna go anywhere. Or, suffer for the intention of beauty. That, I’ve done plenty. 

Anyway, I start running. Full on sprinting. I know starting off with such speed will only tire myself out. But, I need to get there on time. I can’t have them thinking I’m bailing on them. As I pass the confused, scared people I grow to be beyond shame at this point. 

I throw my hands over my breasts to keep them still, again, beyond shame. I pass by stores, outlets, apartments, and this run is probably the most cardio I’ve done since my idol days. I can see the entrance of the hotel inching closer, yet I have so many crosswalks I still need to pass. 

One by one I wait every single time. Safety first? 

I’m a heavy-breathing, sweaty-hairline mess by the time I’ve met with the last crosswalk. There’s already paparazzi hiding behind cars and bushes, ready to sneakily snapshot the moment those boys leave the building. 

I have to think fast as I approach the hotel, not knowing how I could possibly hide my face. I could not, in any shape or form, have my face back in the tabloids connected to BTS’s name. There’s already enough of that in the news now, considering the release of their book. 

I did snoop around during my lunch break, seeing old photos that somehow leaked. Ones where I know staff took them, which is disappointing knowing they probably turned those in just for a couple hundred bucks. It’s nothing defaming to the boys or me, just private moments I wish had stayed private. 

So, my name is already circulating around. I dig in my bag for an old face mask that’s been there for months, probably. I throw it on my face and release my hair from my ponytail, attempting to hide as much of my features as I can. 

I take a deep breath as I begin the pathway to the hotel doors. I attempt to look as casual as I can, passing the paparazzi as a regular city-goer. Just a very rich woman who is always staying at this hotel, nothing to see. Nothing to notice. 

I reach my hand for the door handle until it bursts open, knocking me to the ground suddenly. Namjoon stands with luggage in hand, stunned and apologizing profusely before really understanding what just happened. I too am confused, rubbing my butt in pain and the brightest red shading my cheeks. I just got knocked down in front of all these paparazzi, and as I see Jimin my eyes widen when he shouts loudly, “KANAKO! NAMJOON, YOU IDIOT!” 

The blonde, leather-jacketed man drops his suitcase to run to my rescue, helping me from the ground. The snapshots of cameras become faster, flashier, seeing the very popular star assisting the woman they now know as Kanako Fujishima.

The retired, scandalous idol. 

Jungkook and Yoongi are close behind, witnessing the sight of my disheveled state. 

JK splits through Joon and Jimin, “Kanako, we thought you couldn’t make it!” He exclaims, hugging me even with the prowling eyes. 

I hold him firmly, warmly. Feeling relief knowing I could still see them off.

“I jumped out of my Uber to be here if that tells you anything. I had to see you guys before you left, you know.” I smile through my teeth as I speak. 

Yoongi peers from Jungkook's broad shoulders in a baggy white button-up, paired with even baggier black sweats. He looks amazing even with such little effort, and I couldn’t be happier to see his face. 

The events of last night rush past the walls of my mind, having to push them down if I was ever wanting to speak normally again. I attempt to not become a stuttering mess, feeling like a nervous mess with a school crush.

“Hi Yoon.” We share a breathy laugh before he pulls me in his arms as well. 

“You’ve never called me that before.” He says, his embrace making all of my surroundings suddenly melt into the back of my mind.

The cameras haven’t halted their flashing and I try not to picture the headlines in my head when I hear them, overlapping one another. 

He pulls away from me, taking a risky hand to caress my face. Pulling the face mask off my face, he tucks it into his pocket.

“Yoongi, there’s people–”

“I know.”

He eyes my lips in a swift move before dipping his head to kiss me. His cupid bow lines perfectly with mine, moving in a soft flow. It’s nothing ostentatious by any means, not even heated. It’s short and enough to say something, but not shout it. 

I’m the first to break the kiss in an anxiety-induced cloud, looking at him, my expression completely bewildered. 

“So…” I say in one breath, pursing my mouth in an even line. I look around to the gawking pedestrians and then to Yoongi, who’s enamored…by me? He has an uncomplicated gleam in his eyes that isn’t fading. His hand drops to his side, head nodding to the paparazzi. 

“They don’t matter to me, just you. I love you, Kanako.” He states, his sure gaze pressing into my unraveled smile. 

“I love you. I love you,” I repeat, giving him one last kiss before grabbing his suitcase to hand to him. 

He accepts it hesitantly, brushing our hands together. The boys taking that as the cue to start moving into the car. They all give me more hugs, more temporary good-byes as they step inside the shiny, black vehicle. 

It’s bittersweet, seeing them getting ready to leave. Bitter because I can’t wait to see them, him, again.

But sweet because I know I will see them again. I’m strong enough now. There’s not a doubt in my mind that I’ll be on the next flight to Seoul as soon as I’m able to. And who knows? Maybe I’ll gain the courage to relocate. Perhaps Keiko and I can use a change of scenery. She’s never been to South Korea, and I know with her and the boys by my side, I’ll soothe into it. 

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

I’m too excited not to. 

Before Yoongi enters the car he turns to me, giving me a gummy smile that buzzes through my body instantaneously. 

“I’ll see you back home.” He says.

click here to start from the beginning!

an: holy shit you guys. this has been so healing and so fun for me to write this past month. seeing this community of people enjoy my writing has been so extremely eye-opening and crazy since this has always been a passion of mine! thank you, thank you, thank you for tuning into to all chapters of cool about it! and to readers who are joining after it’s all finished, thank you too for keeping it alive!

im thinking about doing little drabbles or one-shots here and there (of all the members bc ot7) as well so stay tuned for that!

don’t get sick of me just yet!

love you all. thank you.