#everyone else is still kind of weirded out that mc fell for people who betrayed them

[datingsimnonsense]

Me explaining to the devs why the core 4 companions from the Blades of light and shadow games should actually be in a massive polycule with mc

[edgydepressedchoicesthot]

Act of Courage (Noah/MC, Lucas/MC)

Summary: It shouldn’t feel like this, after all this time. We won, didn’t we?

No, Josh realized. We didn’t.

In which a survivor contemplates what was, what is, and what could have been.

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24061654

@ladyseaheart1668, @marmolady, @it-lives-in-westchester

A/N: Between work, college, and my f*cked up head, finishing this up took a lot longer than it should have. I'm trying to make writing into my coping mechanism, so that I'll do it more, lol ;D

I have one more fic I promised on tumblr, an AME one I'm gonna work on. I'm also gonna try to go back to my ES novelization, so stay tuned for that for its continuation.

————————

The two of them were at Josh’s place, waiting for Ava, Andy, Dan, and Lucas. Lily was sick in bed and Stacy was visiting her grandma out of town, leaving Noah and Josh waiting for the four others while they drew figures in the dirt in the yard with sticks and talking about anything their minds jumped to.

“Hey, Noah?”

The boy turned towards his friend.

“Yeah?”

For a moment, Josh, who was as lively as ever seconds ago, was being uncharacteristically quiet.

“Do you…like anyone?”

“‘Like’,” Noah repeated. “Like I like you and Jane and the others? Or you mean like-like?”

“Um, yeah” Josh nodded, blushing. “Like-like.”

“Then no,” the other boy shrugged. “Stacy, Lily, and Ava are fun to hang around, but I don’t like-like anyone.”

“What about,” Josh began hurriedly, but slowed down. “What about boys…?”

“Huh?”

“Do you like-like any boys?”

Josh was beet red. Noah was just confused.

“No,” he shrugged. “I’m a boy. It’d be weird if I liked-liked a boy. That’s what my mom says though.”

“Right…” Josh looked hurt. “Right, forget it.”

Noah wanted to ask why his friend looked so sad.

He hated it when Josh got upset. Unlike Jane, who’d get mad, Josh would be quiet, pouty, and would go off by himself, refusing to ever acknowledge what made him upset in the first place.

But before Noah can say anything, the doorbell rang and their friends poured inside.

Noah forgot that Josh even asked him any question about who he liked.

It was something they’d both forget in the years to come, a memory of the conversation fading into a small feeling.

————————

After reading Lucas’s texts, Josh shoved his phone into his pocket. His smile started to fade as he continued down the road, focusing on his surroundings.

It really is a beautiful day, Josh mused.

And he hated it.

The sun shone through the trees in a way that reminded him of an image you’d find on a tourist pamphlet.

It made Josh think about how the only thing this town is good for is being fake.

Like how the town somehow fooled themselves into thinking everything was just a freak animal attack.

But the more he thought about it, Josh guessed he couldn’t blame the town for that. Having to deal with the truth might actually be more of a clusterfuck than it all happening.

It was all a question of why.

Why did this all happen to them? Why was he the one who had to find Redfield’s shack?

All he had to do was keep his goddamn mouth shut about some stupid fucking rock floating all those years ago…

It’s my fault.

Josh scoffed.

Like that’s big news.

And when it was time to pay the piper, Josh was too much of a coward to do anything…

Shoving his hands into his pockets, Josh forced himself to think about something, anything else.

His mind wandered from the date Lucas promised they’d have before he went back to his university, to that new video game Lily’s been raving about, Stacy’s latest Pictagram post about celebrating another perfect score on an exam, Ava’s latest binge on occult books in the library, Andy whining about how he just wants to be free of high school already, Dan’s updates on his new art blog…

…Noah crying, apologizing…

Josh wiped tears from his eyes as he kept walking.

————————

Noah always envied Josh.

He was a charismatic go-getter where Noah was shy and bookish. Josh always got stickers that came with having a perfect score on spelling tests, ones that Noah just passed by never more than five points. Josh was brave enough to make the first move in befriending him and Jane, and began their circle of friends the same way.

Noah not only hated how he was too wimpy to ever say any of this out loud, but also that he held this kind of resentment towards one of the best friends he’s ever had.

Noah hated how nervous he feels around Josh too. How he can’t help but constantly compare himself to him.

Josh was like the sun; radiant and bright and impossible to miss, and Noah had felt like the grimy earth beneath it.

But everything changed after Jane died.

Their whole group of friends changed. They started to see each other less and less, and eventually, they never saw each other outside of school.

Having different classes in middle school widened the gap between them, leaving silent nods as the last bit of interaction they had.

Soon, even those were gone.

Even after they all fell apart, Noah couldn’t help but notice Josh.

Before, Noah had always seen Josh happily chatting with at least one person.

Now, Noah never saw him hang out with anyone ever again. He was like the dusty remains of a star that went out.

There were times Noah wanted to reach out, to see if they could be friends again, to hang out, laugh together, be together-

-and Noah would stop himself when he came short of any reason Josh would want to talk to him.

————————

“You look like shit.”

“Hello to you too, Ava.”

Josh was semi-thankful that his shift at one of the town’s few fast food places started early in the morning. Only a handful of people stepped in here for breakfast, and none of them were impossible to deal with. So, for a few hours, Josh could enjoy a bit of peace before the lunch rush.

And it was always good to see a friendly face.

“Alright, fuck the pleasantries then.”

Usually.

Ava stretched her hand at Josh and waved it dramatically.

“In the name of the Dread Goddess Hekate, get me my usual.”

Josh punched in the register an order for an apple pie and a milkshake.

“That’ll be $2.78.”

Wordlessly, Ava hands him money and Josh went in the back to get her order.

“Talked to Tom today,” Ava said. “He looked really interested in the stuff I found in Cora’s shack. Maybe he can be my apprentice or some shit.”

“A witch’s apprentice?”

“Turned him down. Teaching is a rock bottom I’ll never hit.”

“Cuz the teacher’s at school we sooo great.”

“You get it.”

Josh finished up, pie in a paper bag and milk in hand.

“So, you talk to people,” she asked before he held out her order. “You’re social like that. Everyone’s gonna be at the memorial tonight, right?”

“Yup,” Josh nodded. “All seven of-”

Josh stops himself, remembering what happened to the seventh.

Ava’s face went steely, and for a moment it looked like she had a lot to say.

“Hand me my order,” she sighed. Josh obliged.

Before Ava walked out, she stopped and did a half turn. Josh sees several shifts to and from anger and sympathy.

“Tale care,” she said before leaving.

————————

Noah couldn’t remember the last time he and Josh talked.

So, when Josh sat next to him at the pep rally, he hoped his quietness came off as indifference, and hid his anxiety about the whole situation.

Josh didn’t seem to mind, since he started talking semi-comfortably. He was mellower and less gloomy than he used to be, and Noah felt the familiar jealously that was always the third companion amongst the two.

The pep rally ended after the blackout, Josh called everyone to meet after school, and four of them were stocking up on makeshift weapons.

When Josh told Noah that he won’t leave him again, he let himself believe it.

Noah halfheartedly thanked Josh, and for a second was afraid his sort-of-friend would take offense.

But instead, Josh smiled at him, and Noah felt like he was looking at sunshine.

A warm feeling bloomed in Noah’s chest, and it stuck around even when they were done talking and gone back to looking for weapons.

Noah remembered the warm feeling later on, when he noticed how Josh’s face was red when he was close enough to Lucas, how he stammered a bit more when the two were talking.

Noah wasn’t as dumb as he was as a kid. He knew that Josh liked Lucas. He also didn’t want to believe he was feeling jealousy, because of what it implied.

It wasn’t until during Britney’s party that Noah started to ask himself where these feelings for Josh came from. Was it sometime after everyone drifted apart, and their absence leaving an ache in his heart? Or was it before, when they were younger, innocent, and still friends?

After the party and after Josh revived his hope for the future (something he’d been doing well the past few days), his own personal devil reared its shadowy head, and signaled the end.

In the near future, while they were all forced to play the game again, Noah would wonder if anything could have happened to keep this whole mess from happening.

If he just told Redfield to fuck off, or just ignored him (no, her).

————————

“In school,” Andy said with a mouth full of pizza. “You froze up every time you had to present something. And up there, you didn’t break a sweat.”

Josh was taken by surprise when Stacy’s mom called him up to say a few words (he didn’t even think the town’s mayor even remembered his name). Surprisingly, where there was usually quick breath and sweating, there was just emptiness.

His mind flashed to Cora when he was up, about how she risked her life to help them and went to warn them while she was injured and dying.

And then it went to Noah.

He kept his part about Noah as brief as possible, and stepped down the second he gave his last “thank you”.

Josh would like to say that Lucas’s hug and quick kiss after the memorial made him feel better, but after talking about Noah, he couldn’t shake the feeling like he was betraying him.

“I get a lot of speech practice when dealing with customers from hell,” Josh finally answered, shrugging.

“You mean Ava?” Andy snarked.

“Andy, don’t be mean,” Lily scolded

“You think I take offense to that?” Ava grinned evilly. “I go there on the weekends.”

Josh finished his Graveyard, and turned to Lucas, right next to him.

“Bartender, one more.”

“One for me too,” Stacy smirked, wiggling her empty cup.

“I think you’ve both had enough,” Lucas said in mock seriousness.

“How can you stand to drink those?” Tom asked. “I almost hurled taking a sip!”

“That’s it, you’re dead to me,” Stacy pouted theatrically.

“Aw, come on,” Lily nudged Stacy with her shoulder. “We all just pledged our eternal devotion to each other five minutes ago!”

And just managed to avoid talking about Noah…

Noah could be here. Right now.

Maybe not here though. The others might still hate him, maybe not, but at least he’d be alive. Maybe everyone would even slowly come to stop hating him.

He could find a way to pay for culinary school. He could open up the diner he talked about…

And I wish I could just stop thinking about those last moments…

Josh has vague memories of blushing and being embarrassed around Noah when they were younger, but he didn’t think it had meant anything.

Every time Josh started thinking about his...crush, if he could call it that, he’d just start thinking of Lucas, and guilt of betrayal would stab at his gut.

Josh’s eyes drift over to Dan, who’s been silent the whole time, aside from giving halfhearted laughs and accepting Graveyard refills…

…along with bringing up the one who’s been on Josh’s mind for a while.

“Well…not the whole group.”

Josh remembered that this night would end, and that everyone would go back to dealing with their trauma.

Not alone. Please for the love of god not alone.

He felt like some kind of traitor again, for feeling this awful around people with whom he should be happy.

It shouldn’t feel like this, after all this time. We won, didn’t we?

He remembered the panic attack he talked Lily through by phone after Britney called him, begging for help. He remembered Ava’s blank face as the signs of a flashback started to show. He remembered the bags under Stacy’s eyes as she drank more coffee than was healthy. He remembered the late night texts from Andy faking small talk when he couldn’t sleep and needed some anchor to reality. He remembered the way Dan finally admitted with tears that he wasn’t fine, was anything but fine.

And he remembered seeing the thing that used to be Noah in the ruins, looking back at him with those white eyes before vanishing.

No, Josh realized. We didn’t.

————————

Seconds ago, Josh had gotten Noah out of Redfield’s (no, Jane’s) control as he was seconds away from being stabbed.

He goaded and taunted the monster they all feared since childhood, and fended it off with a whistle.

So this should be easy, right?

Taking Jane’s place so she could finally be free of the hell she spent nearly a decade in.

“I’m sorry, Josh,” Noah sobbed. “Please…please tell my mom-”

“Wait!” Josh said shakily. “It doesn’t have to be you!”

“Josh, please, it had to be me,” Noah begged. “Let me do this. Let me fix my mistakes.”

“NO!” he screamed. “Don’t you dare! Let me do this! Let me take her place instead!”

Except…

Josh didn’t say any of that.

He wanted to stop Noah, he wanted to so much, but no matter what, his throat wouldn’t obey.

When it mattered the most, all he could give is silence.

If the two of them were any closer, their faces would touch. Unfallen tears pooled in Noah’s eyes, filled with regret

Josh didn’t know what to do. He wanted to scream at Noah. He wanted to hug him and never let go. He wanted to punch him.

But Noah acted before Josh could.

His lips weren’t soft, but warm and gentle, and soon turn salty when tears hit their lips. Neither of them knew whose.

“I’m sorry,” Josh lost count of the number of times Noah’s apologized today. “I just…I needed to do that. Just once…”

Those are the last words Noah ever said as a human.

————————

The night ended with everyone promising to see each other tomorrow, and soon after that.

And so, here were Josh and Lucas, waiting together on a bench on the sidewalk for Josh’s mom to come pick them up and give Lucas a ride to his house.

Despite everyone parting with the unspoken promise of this goodbye isn’t for good, Josh couldn’t help that irrational fear that the opposite would be true, and they’d all fall apart over again.

“You good?” Lucas pulled Josh out of his thoughts.

“Huh?” he mumbled dumbly.

“You’re squeezing my hand pretty hard there,” Lucas shakes his hand holding Josh’s, and he finds out he’s right; Josh is squeezing Lucas’s hand like some kind of lifeline.

“Sorry,” Josh says sheepishly as he eases his grip, but Lucas gives a gentle squeeze, keeping him from pulling away.

“Hey, you’re alright,” Lucas says before Josh can apologize any more.

Josh smiled at him, not trusting himself to speak right now. Unfortunately, it just gave way to an awkward silence.

“Josh?”

“Yeah?”

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” Lucas asks.

“What…” do you mean, Josh wanted to say, but he just didn’t have the heart to lie to his boyfriend’s face.

“I know,” Josh sighed.

And he did. But that was a different story than being able to do it.

“I’m here for you. So is everyone else. And if something’s been on your mind, we’d all listen if you wanted to talk.”

Josh wanted to.

He probably needed to.

Josh remembered Dan, how he desperately needed someone to talk to, how he needed help, and what happened after he didn’t get it (it wasn’t his fault, it was mine).

But what could he possibly say?

Is it okay for me to have lingering feelings for someone else? Someone who betrayed us and led us to a monster? Someone who’s a monster now himself? Someone almost all of you understandably hate?

There’s no way he can bring that up. Not to his friends, not to his boyfriend.

“I don’t wanna talk,” Josh sighs. “Could we just…be here…? If that makes any sense?”

“It doesn’t,” Lucas jokes. “But it’s a good thing I’m a mind reader.”

Lucas put an arm around Josh, pulling him closer.

Josh rested his head on Lucas’s shoulder and closed his eyes, enjoying his boyfriend’s presence.

In the future, when Josh finally found it in him to talk, he’d be able to go back to the cabin. Against all advice, he’d look for Noah in the shadowy figure that haunted the woods. And he’d find him. And soon after, Josh would be able to help more people who were forced into a world of monsters like he and his friends were.

[saezutte]

yuletide letter 2020

Dear Yuletide Writer, 

Oh, hello again. I didn’t see you there.

This year, I have transcended earthly desires and struggled to find any fandoms to request. I want nothing. I wish my cat was nominated as a Yuletide fandom so we could all write stories about her life. 

Nonetheless, I have some small requests!!!! I believe you can make me happy in ways I’ve never been happy before. I trust you. Happy end of 2020, the cursed year, I hope you are blessed with rest. 

My AO3: saezutte

My public twitter: juncassis

My tumblr: here but I do not use tumblr much anymore, sorry.

Do Not Wants

[note: I have no actual triggers, nothing you can write for me will make me any more depressed or anxious than I already am]

Death (of major/important/beloved characters)

Suicide attempts, self-harm

Rape (outright; OK with dub con, manipulation, noncon short of violent-rape-for-violence-only)

Eating disorders, body shaming

Angst without a happy ending, really too much angst at all

Established relationship

Cheating

Actual Unrequited Feelings

Pregnancy (the actual process; breeding kink is fine)

Scat or watersports

Hard BDSM or any kink complicated enough that the characters would have to discuss it ahead of time

Homophobia as a plot device

Excessive attention to identity or politics, sometimes known as “issue fic”

Note on AUs: I am ok with the usual popular AU tropes but I do not want them combined, e.g. A/B/O is fine and coffeeshop is fine, but I don’t want an omega barista getting his scent all over the lattes he makes for some alpha lawyer who comes in every morning. (Ridiculous example, but you get the point.) For AU/modern settings of fandoms with magic, I often like it when the magic is still there in the AU setting. I also like AUs which maintain the general outlines of the character’s relationships, like if the characters are childhood friends in canon, I like to keep that intact.

General preferences:

I am a pretty basic bitch when it comes to fanfic: I like it when two clueless boys pine for each other through some shenanigans and then lock eyes/lips/dicks.

If you fed a neural net every fanfic written in Stargate Atlantis fandom between 2005 and 2010, the result would probably be some nonsense I’d enjoy.

I love many tropes. Tropes! Bed-sharing. Sharing an umbrella. WASHING EACH OTHER’S HAIR? Confessions where they are having an argument and then one of them yells “Because I love you!”

I love situations where characters are forced to spend time in close proximity and find themselves with feelings.

I love fakeness: fake dating, fake marriage, arranged marriage, marriage of convenience, fake lust induced by sex pollen or heats, aliens make them have sex, whatever.

I love porn, if you want to just write me some quick porn, that’s great. I do prefer (per the established relationship DNW above) that it be first time or get together porn. I know that can make it hard to just write porn, but I don’t need much to be convinced of sex.

Nirvana in Fire (TV)

Requested characters: Mei Changsu, Xiao Jingyan

Note: I also love Lin Chen so if you want to write some MCS/LC or LC/Fei Liu or LC/MCS/JINGYAN OT3??? go for it. I am also a Nihuang/Xia Dong shipper so if you want to put that in… somehow… my gay little heart would be happy. I also like Nihuang/MCS/XJY or MNH/MCS + MCS/XJY but I’d like the focus on the men in that case!

I watched this show because someone recommended this show to me as, like, Chinese Game of Thrones but good. I think it’s genuinely one of the best TV shows I’ve ever seen. I love plots and revenge and good people doing bad things for justice. Even the ending is good for me though obviously it left me unsatisfied on several points.

I am deeply into sickly doomed genius MCS and every time he got even more deeply ill, I fell deeper in love. Every time he coughs up blood, my heart would race. I love his terrible schemes and stupid self-sacrificing choices. I find watching this show very soothing because I knew he would always come out on top in his schemes. I trust him. I love handsome clueless Jingyan and how he’s just so good (it’s terrible.) I love his mom and how much he cares for her. I love him but he is useless, he needs his Xiao Shu and I need fanfic to restore him to him.

Note: So my limited research on this says that male/male sex practices were accepted and well-known in this time period in history, so I really don’t want them thinking “oh no what are these weird gay feelings.” There are other barriers to them being together, like a ruler or official being overly attached to one person was considered very bad. I am also a big supporter of the socially-approved polygamy of this time period, so I don’t need Jingyan to refuse to sleep with his wife or something out of loyalty to MCS—he has to do it! Or all their plans are ruined! And he can enjoy spending time with her or the concubines without affecting his feelings for MCS—you could explore that complexity in fic if you like.Prompts:

Mei Changsu isn’t dead, he’s hiding again, Jingyan searches for him

They start having sex during the series, the ending is averted [somehow]

Post-canon, MCS is alive and Jingyan hides him in the palace with his consort/concubines to keep him on as an advisor without anyone objecting

omega verse where MCS was an alpha before he “died" but an omega after he came back.

AU where male/male marriage is customary (maybe aristocratic men are expected to have one male and one female consort?) and so MCS decides the best way to influence and help Jingyan in the capital is by becoming his wife or one of his concubines

anything just get them together and happy.

Tokyo Babylon 

Characters: Subaru, Seishiro

I read Tokyo Babylon as a child and I imprinted on it deeply, now I love politics, ghosts, stalking, age differences, magic. Within the CLAMP canon, I love TB for its episodic focus on smaller stories, the commentary on contemporary society, and Seishiro being an outright creep. I love onmyojutsu and exorcism and Subaru’s innocence getting ruined. I love the city of Tokyo (where I currently live! but do not be intimidated, I don’t know the city well because we’ve been in quarantine most of the time I’ve been here and won’t judge you for details.) I’m open to fics that comply with X canon or not.

With Seishiro/Subaru: It’s bad but I love that predator/prey dynamic where the predator ends up being hopelessly entranced/obsessed/in love with the prey. My read was always that Seishiro lost the bet and couldn’t admit it—he’s just, you know, killing twins to avoid dealing with his feelings! Relatable! (?!?!) Subaru, I love particularly in his evolution from innocent to adult in love to betrayed. I’d prefer post-TB fic to during-TB fic (so Subaru knows Seishiro’s deal and loves him anyway.) I am also a fan of Hokuto and you should feel free to bring her back to life to troll if you desire.

Prompts:

AU or reincarnation plot where they are Heian period rival onmyoji

Because this is such a heavily place-based series, if you are a writer who likes to play with details of real life locations, I’d be interested in versions of different “Babylons” if you have an idea for it.

Tragic first times post-TB lol

Seishiro is a virgin the first time they have sex

I’d probably love some fucked up dub con for this, however you want to play it

Honestly, do whatever you want as long as you don’t fuck me over like CLAMP did.  

プリティーリズム | Pretty Rhythm

Characters: Hiro, Koji

Pretty Rhythm came to me at a weird time in my life. I lived in a house of spiders in Yokohama and did nothing for eight weeks. King of Prism cheer screening transformed my life and I didn’t even know what it was. Then I got weirdly deep into Rainbow Live and the Pretty Rhythm franchise overall. I am a scientist of prism theory. Idk why I like it, it’s just wholesome and crazy and there are penguins and DJ Koo. I love every TRF song because I’m a 90s gay at heart. It’s truly the end point of all media development. The prism world represents the fearsome power of virtual/digital+real hybrid life. Yes, I know I’ve lost my mind. I went to one of the real Prism Stone stores, the one in Harajuku.

Hiro Hayami: one time a fujoshi asked me to describe what types of anime boys I like and the first type I listed was “prince but bad” and my example was Hiro. Hiro is the crazy gay stalker disaster of my heart. He overcomes great hardship to achieve his dreams and foolishly falls in love along the way and he does everything wrong and Koji keeps leaving him. The moment when Hiro is crowned King of Prism in Pride the Hero was one of the top ten moments of my life. I made friends who don’t even know Japanese watch the movie unsubtitled with me on my birthday.

With Koji, I’m a bit guilty of “I want to give the character I love the most the character he loves the most” so I do like him less (it would be impossible to like him equal to how much I love Hiro). But he has many good points that make him perfect, like how he also sucks underneath his chill exterior. I love to see him go apeshit.

I also love everyone else in Rainbow Live, no exceptions. I love all the girls. If you do write the girls, I would prefer they not be paired with the OTR boys. I would prefer they be paired with each other, any combo is good.

Prompts:

this is the sort of pairing where I love fic where they split up and then 15 years later meet again as washed up has-beens but there’s still time for them to find each other

Canon-compliant companion piece showing the “background” of them getting together romantically over the course of the series.

AU where Koji is a prism world fairy sent to inspire Hiro but Hiro is kind of a mess

dirty, dirty porn… let Hiro get fucked

I have a lot of doujinshi with multiple copies of Hiro (a la the Mugen Hug jump) but I’d like something where Hiro gets overwhelmed by many Kojis

They start fake dating as a publicity stunt and have to keep doing it… especially good if it starts when Koji is at max hating Hiro level

Ring Fit Adventure 

Characters: Dragaux, Ring

Keeping this one simple: I like to be encouraged to exercise by a storyline and a trainer that never mentions weight loss, lol. The world is fun and pretty and I love that buff dragon.

AND THEN THE PAIRING. I’m sure Nintendo has some market research that told them a certain subset of users are very motivated by enemies who seemed to once be lovers or best friends. I am that user.

What is up with these two? They were so in love! Now Dragaux is a horrible swole bro (not in a good bro way) and Ring is training me instead? I can’t compete with their love. It’s the only time the game makes me feel inadequate.

You can keep Dragaux and Ring as dragon/ring-like as you like. Obviously I’m down with dragon fucking but you can also make him a human fucker too. I play with Ring on the masculine voice setting for maximum BL vibes as I exercise, but, you know, it’s a ring, I don’t think it has gender. Feel free to incorporate the player or other random characters too.

Prompts:

AU where Dragaux and Ring owned a gym together and Dragaux sold out to a big chain of gyms

What happened between them when Dragaux was still captured, pre-game? Bondage… literally??

Ring is always bossing me to train, but I’m really doing all the work. Why doesn’t he fight Dragaux on his own for once?? (because the sexual tension is too powerful.)

Tragic flashback to their dramatic break-up ending with their present day reconciliation.

Player/Dragaux/Ring threesome??? I’ve unlocked the sexercises???

With all fandoms, you are free to disregard the prompts and do your own thing. If you’re not sure about me, you can probably dm seriesera on twitter, she knows what I’m into. 

Well, I suppose that’s all for now. Please stalk me online to get more details on my bullshit. I hope you have a nice time.

Best,

Caitlin 

[rainesclan]

Out of the Woods (Dan x MC) [Part Four]

Link to: Part One, Part Two, Part Three

A/N: Okay so I may or may not have unintentionally lied about this being the last part. It took on a life of its own as I was writing it, so change of plans…there’s gonna be a couple more parts. Guess it wasn’t meant to be over yet! I also threw together a Spotify playlist of songs I listen to while writing these ILITW fics for anyone who’s interested.

Description: With Noah and Jane’s would-have-been birthday coming up, things begin to go south.

Pairings: Dan x MC, Noah x MC

Rating: PG-13 (some stronger language)

Words: 2,060

The dawn sky was still streaked with darker shades of blues and greys when Kayleigh spread an old knit blanket down on the grass at the tree line of the chillingly familiar woods. It was silent aside from the occasional flittering of wildlife running through the leaves littered beneath the bare trees and the murmur of the wind rattling through the branches. She shivered involuntarily in response to the bitter cold, and she pulled Noah’s old denim jacket tightly around her shoulders as she sat down, her body facing the looming woods that she didn’t dare to venture any further into.

It wasn’t the first time she had gone back to the woods, although she knew her friends would be anything but happy if they knew how often she found herself drawn back to the spot they had silently vowed to never go again. Something always drew her back. It was a compulsion rather than a desire to be there that she knew they wouldn’t understand. And that desire had only grown stronger when she checked her calendar that morning to see the date.

Next week, they would have turned eighteen. Noah and Jane.

She never actually went to the ruins. Not only did she like to believe that she wasn’t stupid enough to do such a thing, but she wasn’t sure she could handle it even if she’d wanted to. Instead, she would bring a blanket and sit a few yards back from the tree line. Sometimes she would just sit and watch…as if she was expecting to see or hear something – anything – to let her know he wasn’t suffering…but most of the time she came with something to say.

He probably couldn’t hear her, but maybe he could. And maybe it would be beneficial for him to know that someone still thought about him. Still cared about him.

That morning, she had been particularly anxious. The reoccurring nightmare about Homecoming that she had become all too familiar with had rattled her awake in the middle of the night, and she wasn’t able to get back to sleep afterwards. Instead, she passed the time turning over memories and thoughts of how things used to be. They were thoughts she had become so used to that she didn’t even cry anymore. Sometimes she would feel a chill deep in her core, but she didn’t feel sadness, per say. She just felt numb.

She liked to take short trips out to “talk to” Noah on those days when she would get particularly caught up in thinking about him. Something about it made her hold on to the good memories that they’d made as opposed to lingering on the last night of his life.

The wind stilled when she sat down, crossing her legs beneath her as she stared out into the woods. Silence lingered in the air for a long few minutes, and she took a deep breath before exhaling and beginning to speak.

“Hey,” she said, as if in normal conversation.

There was no surprise when she was met with only more silence in response.

“I was just…” she paused to search her own thoughts. “I was thinking about you a lot last night. Because of your birthday coming up and all, I guess.”

She fiddled with one of the sleeves of the denim jacket that covered her arms, curling her hand into a fist and tucking it inside. The wind rustled the bare branches of the trees again, as if it was urging her to continue on.

“I miss you, Noah.”

It was the first time she had allowed herself to admit it aloud, and once the words fell from her lips, she felt a metaphorical weight being lifted from her chest. Tears burned behind her eyelids for the first time in a long time. She missed him. Maybe her friends didn’t, and maybe they couldn’t understand why she did, but she missed him more than she was even consciously aware of at times.

“Things have been…weird I guess. Everyone’s kind of just pushing past what happened. It sucks when everyone’s moving on and you still feel like you’re stuck, you know?”

He did know. The thought of it sent a chill up her spine. That feeling was ultimately what drove him to his betrayal. The words seared in her thoughts, and she winced internally at the memory.

She would never be able to forget that night for as long as she lived. The feeling of his cold, metal blade against her neck was nothing compared to the feeling of her blood running ice cold, and the surge of nausea that churned violently in her stomach when she’d realized what was happening.

The person she’d trusted the most betrayed them. Lied to them. Lied to her.

Yet she couldn’t bring herself to be angry – not even during times like these when she would reflect on everything – because she knew who he really was, and while she would never understand why he did what he did, she forgave him.

“You know I wanted to hate you?” She asked the trees, and the wind gusted again. “I really tried. To hate you, I mean. Things would be so much easier if I just…” her voice cracked, and she didn’t notice that she was crying until she touched the wet stains on her cheek. “If I just hated you.”

The air was quiet around her – almost too quiet – and when she sniffled, it echoed through the emptiness.

“I can’t though.”

She pulled her knees closer to her chest to hold in the sob that threatened to surge up into her throat. The fact that she couldn’t move on was suffocating, and it had only worsened since the drunk driving assembly. A part of her – a big part of her, at that – was so hopelessly into Dan, but another part of her was still clinging onto the past…as if Noah was coming back. As if he was even going to know.

Maybe he wasn’t even out there anymore…and if he was…she knew he was probably no longer the Noah she shared all of those memories with. If he was still there, trapped in what remained of the ruins after sacrificing himself for his sister, there was no telling what he had become. She knew there was a strong possibility he’d turned into what Jane had turned into. He was Noah…but he wasn’t Noah.

And then there was Dan – who had been the center of her elementary school games of “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not” while she and Lily would pick petals off of daisies at recess – making his interest in her abundantly clear. But he made her nervous. He shouldn’t have been into her. Sometimes she even found herself thinking that he must have just been taking pity on her.

With her track record as of late, trust wasn’t easy to come by. Pushing him away was a defense mechanism. The last thing she needed was to get wrapped up in him – the guy of her childhood dreams – only to find out she was a charity case. A pity date, because – as Britney and Jocelyn always made clear – who else would be willing to date her?

She wanted to trust him fully, but she couldn’t. Not when it was someone she cared about as much as she cared about Dan. If he, of all people, hurt her, or broke her trust, she honestly wasn’t sure if she would be able to recover. Not after what happened with Noah.

The cold breeze streaked through her short locks of blonde hair, and she glanced down at her watch as she buried her nose into the denim fabric that still smelled like him, content to just sit there and listen for any sign of him for the rest of the morning.

3:52

Dan stood in front of his locker in the empty hallway, unable to suppress a huff when he looked up at the clock above the bulletin board that had been littered with fliers for the plethora of fundraisers that had been going on since Homecoming. The school had seen its fair share of damages, and the reparations didn’t exactly fit into the budget, as Lucas had told him one day during lunch.

3:15 was when he told Kayleigh the team would be done running drills. It was her idea to meet up to talk in the first place, and now over a half an hour later, she still hadn’t shown.

He fiddled absentmindedly with the dial on his locker to keep his hands busy, and after what felt like at least another five minutes of waiting, he finally pulled out his phone to send her a short text.

???

Sinking to the floor, he took a seat in front of his locker, stretching out his legs in front of him as he listened to the muffled sound of the band practicing in the auditorium. Several more minutes ticked by before he checked the clock again.

4:07

Screw this, he thought, and he stood up abruptly from where he sat.

If she couldn’t bother to show up, he couldn’t bother to wait around for her. It was obvious that she wasn’t coming, and a sudden wave of frustration washed over him as he thought about the fact that she’d blown him off and had him waiting there for almost an hour like a lovesick puppy. Unsure of how to handle it any other way, he kicked the locker door with force to channel his frustration, only to spot Lucas standing a few feet down the hall as he did so.

“Uh…” Lucas paused before taking a few steps closer. “You okay, man?”

He shook his head before his friend could delve into a deeper line of questioning. “Have you talked to Kayleigh at all today?”

“No. She wasn’t in English before. I don’t think she came to school.”

Dan fluctuated between frustration and worry, and he squeezed his eyes shut briefly to gather his thoughts. His irrational mind wanted to be pissed that she was jerking him around. He wanted to say “screw it” and just be done with her until she could figure out what she wanted. But the part of him that knew her and what she – or all of them, for that matter – had been through, knew he needed to be understanding. And if she wasn’t showing up to school something may have happened.

“Did you try calling her?” Lucas asked.

“No. I sent her a text and she didn’t answer.”

Lucas had never been particularly good at hiding his expressions, and when he furrowed his eyebrows, Dan could tell he was worried.

“Maybe one of us should call her,” Lucas suggested. “I mean, I’m sure she just took a personal day. Or maybe she was under the weather. But it’s better to be safe.”

“I’m just gonna stop by her place on my way home,” Dan told him with a shrug.

If she wasn’t answering her texts, he doubted she’d be answering her calls, and there was no point in calling only to be put in touch with her voicemail. He turned to head towards the back doors that lead out to the parking lot before he heard Lucas’s voice again.

“Dan,” he called to him, and Dan turned to look at him once again, the worried look on his face only looking more pronounced than it had just a minute ago. “I don’t know what’s going on with you two…but I just thought I should remind you…” he paused briefly. “Noah and Jane’s birthday would have been next week.”

Oh.

A chill ran through his body at the words.

Would have been.

Sometimes he still found himself forgetting that they were gone. Both of them.

Dan thought back to the subject at hand before responding.

“So she’s probably-”

“Not handling it well?” Lucas finished for him. “Yeah. I doubt it.” He pushed his glasses up further onto the bridge of his nose when he spoke. “I’d go with you to check on her but…”

“You’ve got class president crap to handle. I get it,” he assured him, and he glanced at the clock on the wall again to see that the minutes were ticking closer to 4:30. “It’s fine. I’ve got this one.”

[tumblunni]

fuck, that story did so many complex things with morality, i think that’s why ultimately it was his most well remembered story like the basic premise of a unicorn looking for the other unicorns is basically nothing compared to the MILLION DEEP QUESTIONS it kindles in childrens’s brains along the way! and like, the fact that it was even aimed at children despite having so much dark imagery and psychological horror. and how the psychological horror comes from weird places?? like, it subverts and analyzes the fairytale genre and turns a lot of commonly accepted ‘happy ending’ things into absolute burning hell and eighty million other far more interesting plotlines springing from the corpse of the cliche it just killed. I love it. I LOVE IT.

Random examples of stuff that really intrigued me as a kid!

* the whole idea of how it starts off, that this unicorn just legit doesn’t know that anything happened to the rest of her people. she’s lived alone for centuries and doesn’t even know what loneliness is until she finds out that the world has changed while she wasn’t looking, and her assumption that there’s a million other forests with a million other unicorns was false. And like.. her journey is really complex because of it? her motivation is less about saving a family she personally knew, and more about the fear of being forgotten like they were, and like.. ‘do i even have any value if i’m not defined as a unicorn anymore, if people forget what unicorns mean?’ And like the idea of her first meeting other unicorns for the first time and having even mroe challenges to her perception of reality, like thats not even something she WANTS but the same somewhat rude and egotistical sense of honor she has as an immortal is gonna keep her going towards an ending that probably won’t be happy in any way.

* the many many nuanced moments where the unicorn completely fucks up and is generally allowed to be a flawed protagonist, despite existing in a narrative that’s from her perspective and paints her as perfect and her philosophy as the only thing that exists. And like.. how many of her fuckup moments are ABOUT her being this perfect godly figure to everyone else! How molly breaks down at seeing a unicorn NOW, instead of back when she was young and had hope of a happy fairytale ending. How she feels like she isn’t worthy of a unicorn even looking at her anymore, and how it manifetss into screaming anger, blaming this thing for being too late. And how the unicorn didn’t even know that this woman was waiting for her, and hinging her entire life worth on meeting her, and like.. molly isn’t prepared to look at it that way, if anything its even scarier to think that the people you idealise just DIDNT CARE. And how its complex cos i mean its not like the unicorn is bad, either?? She just didnt know what she meant to humans until she got out of her forest and started meeting them. She was so self-absorbed and proud about being immortal without even knowing the reason why magical creatures are considered godly. And its so complex cos the way she figures it out is via the actions of an asshole villain, like seriously its SO SAD that she gets to see little human kids feeling like they have a reason to live just from seeing the false image of a unicorn that the creepy slavemaster witch lady shows to them. the unicorn herself was powerless to be what they needed her to be, and all she even cared about was judging the humans as rude bastards for not being able to see her, rather than thinking about it as it really is, and realizing that its not like they don;t want to, they’re absolutely desperate to...

* and okay just seriously THE COMPLEX NATURE OF HUMANITY! cos she sees all the worst of humans and all the best of them too, and the story doesn’t even draw any conclusions as to whether we’re worth it, it’s up to you to decide

* also it was really deep and complex how becoming human wasn’t just a cliche happy ending for her! it was TERRIFYING! being forced into a new body wasnt even the worst part, it was the loss of identity factor that hit her after she was limited into a non immortal mind and soul. she goes crazy ‘feeling this body die around her’ and gets scared that she’s going to forget her old self, and also scared of going back to her old self because she doesnt know if these things like love are impossible for unicorns and she’ll become unable to feel them anymore. her opinion of herself falls so far from arrogance into outright FEAR! and its so fucked up because being human is hurting her like this yet she’s also kinda idealizing humanity and blaming it for all her positive character development and like SHE’S ANGRY AND SCARED OF POSITIVE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT??? it fucking makes my soul weep and then the ending is so fucked up cos she does return to being a unicorn, and no she doesnt stop feeling love for the human guy she fell for, and all her human friends who helped her this far. but now she’s burdened with the knowledge that she will never die and they will, so the story just ends with her running away so she doesn’t have to feel that pain, or burden them with any more pain too. And she’s even more alone than she was at the start, because she knows that none of the other unicorns understand these emotions, they’re all like her pre character development self and she could never be part of their world again. Its complex because these positive emotions and this kinder personality is like.. a curse to her. because at least she didnt hurt when she was blissfully oblivious, and didnt care about anyone but herself. Its like.. was this newfound ability to feel love actually a blessing, if she gets the love but also the ability to have her happy ending is forever lost to her? so really all she gained was the power to be aware that she was suffering all along. and like even if she managed to get magicked into a human again, the story makes it clear that it’s intense suffering for her, its like walking on knives and her personality would just melt away and she wouldnt even remember why being able to love was so new and so important. it’d be just like someone else having a happy ending instead, and her ceasing to exist. But then the story also gives us this very clear binary where all of her personality is very much linked to being immortal, and her only choices are to live forever and be sad, or to die and not even fully be happy because she’d lose herself. and like all she accomplished was losing the option she never knew she had- to live in innocence without a concept of good and evil, and thus never regret. which isnt a happy ending either, but at least she wouldnt KNOW she was in a bad ending...

* fuck this movie is so hard to explain and so sad

* oh and!! the harpy was fuckin terrifying!! and all the morality around it was even more so! its the first time the unicorn really fucks up, cos she’s just running on the honor of all magical creatures, which is very far from concepts like good and evil. she has to free a fellow immortal, even if its clear that the harpy is evil and will only do harm. but she doesnt even fully understand evil yet, all she knows is.. like.. fear? and betrayal. she knows that for some reason she doesnt understand, she fears this other person who is like her. and subconciously she recognises the darker side of what an innocence of good and evil can turn you into. but she recklessly chooses to ignore the humans trying to explain morality t her, cos thats just a human thing she doesnt need to care about, right? and then what ultimately surprises and scares her isn’t that the harpy does what humans think are evil, but that the harpy has no loyalty to the one who freed her, and immediately tries to kill the unicorn too. And you even get the sense that the unicorn would have still freed her even if she expected this would happen, its just this sense of duty between immortals because being caged means so much more when you’ll never even have the release of death. And i mean.., that’s kind of a point, too. the story’s one moment of embracing cliches is that it says that the harpy is just inherantly evil and was born evil, rather than more directly placing it as a parallel to the unicorn’s absence of good and evil. how do we know that this thing really IS an embodiment of all hatred, and its not just a lost and deluded creature like our protagonist, whose moral neutrality got pushed down the wrong path due to the difference of life it had once it first encountered humans? i mean, the unicorn encounters plenty of shitty humans too, but she manages to at least find some good ones and like.. she had a starting point of assuming she was a proud and inherantly good creature, which was confirmed even by the humans who manipulated and hurt her. she gets to see herself worshipped by humans, even if its as a way to make a quick buck. and we don’t know how long that harpy was locked up in an even worse version of her situation, and whether the unicorn would have become just as hateful if she hadnt been resuced... Its just kinda lazy to say ‘wow its good that shitty mc fuckface locked up this inherantly evil creature, yet bad that she did the same thing to you’ But still it makes for a really scary scene cos the film really went all out in establishing what a born-evil creature would actually be like, and how fucking terrifying it would be to deal with something that just wants to kill and kill and will kill even if there’s no benefit and no logic to it. It’ll betray anyone who shows kindness to it, and you’re being stupid by treating it like a real sentient being with thoughts and a soul. And thats terrifying. But its also fucking sad. And its the one lack of complex morality in this story. but i guess maybe i wasnt supposed to be a story all about exploring complex versions of morality, but just.. different and interesting ones? so taking the ‘inherantly evil’ trope and being like ‘no, you dont get to use that lightly, this is how horrifying and child-unfriendly that would really be’ is still an intriguing idea in its own right

...anyway its a real good movie also my lunch is burning cos i couldnt take it out of the over til i finished rambling RIP salmon dinner

[annebrontesrequiem]

Hi how bout rfa+v and saeran reacting/dealing with an. MC after getting attacked by rika who is on the run abd suffering the same fate as V , the possibilities of going blind.

Yay!!! More angst!!! Actually angst is now kinda my thing, I’m gonna be known as the person who does le angst! Sounds good to me lolol!! Anyway let us continue!

Also let’s all agree Rika is basically the child of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and Bellatrix, let’s be honest

Zen

There was no way he saw it coming

You were just going out to get more fruit, since you guys had eaten it all the night before

And he had decided to go with you because I mean why not?

It was a beautiful night out, not too cold, but just cool enough so he could cuddle you the whole way

After you guys got the fruit there was still some time, so you two decided to stroll in your favorite park

There weren’t any other people around, and the golden light of park lights made you a path

Zen kept talking about how you looked like an angel in the golden light

And you replied; “Your hair looks practically golden!”

But he turned around at your confused look, you could’ve sworn you’d seen a flash of actual golden hair

While he felt your grip suddenly yanked from him he turned back around

To see a blonde haired woman straddling you, knife in hand

“Rika!”

He ran to get the devil off of you, but right before he could someone pushed him to the ground

Not looking towards his captor his eyes were still on you, mouth covered by a black leather glove, he saw Rika raise the knife up your face and to you eye

Lurching forward one last time someone clubbed him from behind and he lost conciousness

When he woke up he was in the hospital

Lurching up the minute he regained consciousness he screamed your name

Looking around he saw a curtain separating him from the next patient, he looked at the ID

It was you

Thanking the gods he slowly walked over to you, careful of his head, which still throbbed slightly, and of all the wiring

“Jagi?” He asked softly, and sighed in relief when you opened your eyes, only to have his eyes filled with tears and he drew back momentarily in shock

You right eye was much lighter than before, light, light like nothing else, and thin film around half of it, following where the red scar was snaking its way down your face

“Jagi, did she do this to you?” He asked softly, soft lines of tears began to drip down your face, as you nodded slightly

“Zen, Zen I can’t see correctly, part of my vision is so dark!”

You sat up and he went to hug you tightly, tears of anguish and fury dripping down his eyes

“Zen, I’m so sorry, I’ll never be able to see you perform with my two eyes again, the doctors, the doctors said they can’t fix it!”

At that he cupped your face, wiping your tears

“Oh, my darling, never apologize for this, it’s that woman that deserves to pay, not you.”

After you had calmed down you fell asleep against him until the doctors came in

He was released a few days before you, since you had more issues, the doctors were trying to do the best they could for you, so he decided to pay that snake a visit

Going back to the park where it happened, now practically back to normal, at the same time of day he sat down

And waited

He didn’t have to wait long, she appeared right in front of him

“Oh, do you want to join her? Doing something for her might get you into paradise you know.”

Zen just smiled and moved his hand, revealing a Taser he brought just in case

Punching her in the gut he managed to get a few punches and although he didn’t get to do what he wanted to get done he was satisfied

Rika deserved worse than death for everything she’d done

But you were the worst by far

Yoosung

He learned about Rika the hard way

You were going to the beach, a place in the south where the air was clean

It was actually Jumin’s private one, so you were guaranteed some privacy, and boy was he nervous

He’d never been alone with you, especially not at a pool or a beach

You two were running down the beach, feet falling in the sand, when she came out and lunged at you

“Rika! What are you doing?” Yoosung cried out, finding himself being pulled back from behind

Rika smiled slyly at him at you closed your eyes, not being able to bear to see the face of the one you loved

But unfortunately she noticed that

Flipping you over on your back she raised the pocket knife she was hiding to your eye

You flinched to the sounds of Yoosung’s screams, but were determined to face her

Staring right at Rika, you let out a strangled sound of alarm as she raised the knife to your eyes

You heard screaming, now not one voice but two, but part of your vision was cut out

Not enough not to see Rika raise the bloodied knife again

“MC!”

Yoosung’s voice was the last thing you heard before the blood loss became too much and you passed out

When you woke up for a minute you thought you were still dreaming

All you could see were slight colors

Then you realized it wasn’t a dream

“Yoosung!” You screamed again and again

You felt arms around you

“MC! Oh my God you’re alive!”

“Yoosung I can’t see, Yoosung help me!”

He couldn’t do anything but hold you, trying to hold himself together for you

But you couldn’t help but feel his tears, which caused you to grip him even tighter

“Yoosung, I’m so sorry, she was so much to you!”

“No, no MC, my loss is nothing compared to yours, and I swear I will help you the whole way! You’re my universe, the center of my world! And promise that if I ever see her again I am paying her back for what she did.”

When visiting hours were older Yoosung finally let himself slip into Yandere mode

No one knew how he knew where he was going, he couldn‘t answer that himself

But when he saw Rika he jumped on her, and gave her five completely obliterated ribs to show her what kind of person you were to him

You didn’t know until years later

Yoosung wasn’t kidding

He would do anything for the center of his world

Jaehee

She got a bunch of cryptic texts from an unknown number

It changed every time, but she knew that it was the same person, there was no denying that

Assuming it was some sort of weird Christian conversion thing, with all its talk of paradise she ignored it

But the messages started getting weirder and weirder

Eventually the last one came

“You denied paradise, now you must pay the price our savior has chosen.”

Shaking her head she dialed your number

Waiting she sighed when it went to voicemail

That’s odd, she thought, MC’s always free at this time, and she didn’t tell me about any schedule change

Shaking her head she assumed she was being paranoid

Locking up the coffee shop she decided to pay you an impromptu visit

But something was obviously wrong when the door was ajar and screams were echoing in the hallways

Rushing in she found you curled up, hands on you eyes, which were very obviously bleeding, a knife at your side with a pristine piece of paper on it

“From paradise, keep it as a reminder” Read the tag

Throwing it in fury Jaehee dialed an ambulance, then everyone in the RFA

When you were done operating the doctors approached her

“She dodged a bullet. She’ll have to wear these bandages for a month, but we have managed to save her vision.”

Jaehee was crying with gratitude

Rushing in she saw you

“MC?”

“Jaehee?” You asked, and she began crying even harder, running towards you, wrapping you in a big hug, you were shaking against her, partially of happiness, and partially of a lingering fear

Jaehee took notice of this and made sure Seven tracked Rika down

When the viper was finally caught Jaehee made sure to show her what she was made of

Rika wasn’t likely to forget, and neither was Jaehee for everything she’d caused you

Jumin

He didn’t understand how it could’ve happened

How one of his guards could betray him

How one of his own guards could’ve been working for that evil organization

All he knew is that one day you were gone, and after speeding down paths he found you at the side of a practically abandoned road, eyes a bloody mess, you unconcious

Wrapping you in his arms he was shaking with a fury he hadn’t felt before

When you were admitted to the hospital he refused to leave you, waiting outside your door when he had to, and when not required right beside you, a hand on yours

The doctors worked hard, but unfortunately the blood had sent permanently in one of your eyes, and nothing could save it

He looked at the surgeons incredulously but remained silent, his wrath wasn’t meant for them, it was meant for someone else

Waiting once again he saw your hand move

“MC!” He rushed up, pressing your hand to his chest

You slowly opened your eyes

“Jumin, what, how?” Your eyes changed from bewilderment to panic. “Jumin, why isn’t my right eye working, why, it’s open isn’t it?!”

You started shaking and he kneeled, wrapping his arms tightly around you until you began to calm down

“I know, I’m so sorry, there’s nothing they can do, believe me they tried, I promise they did. I’m so sorry.”

You were shaking slightly, and he just pet your hair, as you tried to process everything

I’m sorry

A year later

With your good eye you spied a piece of news on the television

You were curled up with Jumin, Elizabeth on your lap

“A woman has been found dead in prison, she was there for countless crimes, including attempted manslaughter.”

“Jumin, her face, it looks familiar.” You said softly, and he looked at you worriedly

Kissing you lightly he smiled. “It’s nothing for you to worry about.” You smiled at him

“I trust you Jumin. With my life if necessary.”

And I made sure a promise was repaid

Saeyoung

He was in immediate panic mode when he came back, dreading how he needed to keep pushing you away, to the apartment and you were gone, the window left ajar

Going into complete panic mode he spent 48 hours typing furiously, making calls, and crying before he passed out on his desk

A week later a letter showed up

“The one thing you care about the most in this world will come to you.”

On the back was a coordinate

Saeyoung spent no time driving there

When he reached there he found a person, lying unconscious, crude bandages on their eyes

Gasping he ran over to you

“Oh my God MC! N-no, this, this isn’t happening!”

He carried you into the car, and slammed on the gas, ignoring everything else

The hospital wait was horrible, every second dragging on and on

When the doctors came out he rushed up

“It was a hard go, we could only salvage one eye, I’m sorry, but there’s nothing to save the other, and once she hits past forty she’ll most likely become permanently blind in both eyes.”

His eyes started flooding at those words

Oh God, why did I push her away? God forgive me of my sins!”

Rushing past them he saw you, staring at him

“Luciel?”

“MC!”

He put his arms around you, pulling you against his warm chest, and you closed your eyes, beginning to also cry

“Luciel, I can’t see, I’m sorry, but my left eye is gone. I can’t-” your voice cracked with emotion “I can’t preserve this moment with my own two eyes.”

“Saeyoung.”

“What?”

“My name is Saeyoung, and I will never push you away again.”

“Oh Saeyoung!” You began to cry harder, slowly slipping into sleep, however catching the corner of a phrase

“I love you.”

V

The surgery had been a success, and you two were overcome with joy

Seeing him look at every single detail of the world with new eyes made your heart burst, and you couldn’t imagine anything better

But your time of happiness was cut short

It was autumn, and you two were in the woods, him with his camera once more, trying to capture every fallen leaf, when Rika jumped out, bringing a gun to you head

“Rika!” V screamed, as tried to throw his camera, causing you to begin to cry

Forced down on his knees by other members Rika started laughing, the sound warbling from a cackle and the tinkling sound he used to know

“You should’ve stayed blind Jihyun, now you’ll pay.”

Listening to the screams of the one who was just before gasping happily you were pushed on your stomach, a jackknife now tracing it’s way up your cheek

“Jihyun, I love you.” You said, right before the knife was raised

You heard him scream before you lost consciousness

Jihyun was screaming as Rika did her work, managing to find strength he pushed the others off of him, before running up and throwing her off of you

Cradling you he screamed at the snake, before stepping on her arm, a sapping sound ensuing

Ignoring the scene he left the pulled out his phone, so grateful for the service out her, he called the hospital

“Hold on MC, I promise I will save you.”

You woke up to darkness

“Jihyun? Jihyun where are you?!”

You felt his arms incasing you but you could yet not see him

“MC, oh MC I’m so sorry. I couldn’t save you. She was right I should’ve stayed blind.”

“No, no whatever you think please do not think that!”

You could feel his cheeks become wet

“MC, I promise I will help you, I will see everything for you. I will become your eyes.”

I will protect you forever, for this life and beyond, because it is you who gave me life

Saeran

“This is what she did to you!”

Saeran’s voice echoed throughout the whole room as he clutched at you, the only person in the world he’d ever loved

One of your eyes was purple and red, no white was left in it, that side of your face was also cut up, and Saeran was shaking in fury

“If she wasn’t dead already I would’ve sent her to Hell!”

You tried to comfort him, but he was beyond that

“How, how could that damn woman do this to you!”

“Saeran, please, please; don’t. I don’t want to think about it.”

He immediately shut up, instead staring at you

“Are you okay, do you need something? One minute!”

He ran out of the hospital room, only to come back five minutes later with a tub of ice cream

“Here, to make you feel better.”

You took the vanilla, and despite all your efforts you began to cry

“What’s wrong MC?!” He rushed over to you

“I, I just wish that I could see you smile with both eyes, you love ice cream so much! And I’ll never see your smile when you eat it ever again.”

You were crying harder and he enveloped you in a hug

“Then I will make sure you will still be able to see my happiness.”

And he kissed you softly

You leaned in, needing the warmth, something to remind you this was real

“And I promise to make sure you will be able to see whatever you want. The leaves in the fall, the blossoms in the spring, I promise you will still be able to see the beauty, I will make sure of it.”

He stroked your hair and you listened to his heartbeat, nodding

I will make sure you will be able to see it all…

Another long one! Oh my God I’m so tired! Honestly I will try to do another tomorrow, but I might have to take a break!! I have stuff to do lol! Either way I will do my best! Enjoy!

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