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missedmilemarkers · 2 days ago

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Hi again!! Figured that since you were technically open to any question, I want to hear your thoughts or views on this. I'm not sure if I could message you (because I'm very awkward and I can't exactly hold a conversation based on small topics) But, how do you feel about choosing something practically over passion? This question has always plagued me ever since it was brought up during class, and it provoked to me how practically was always chosen over passion as it would technically "help" them more than pursuing their passion.

Was choosing tech for you a more practical choice or were you passionate about it? I don't want to sound rude over this question, but it only occurred to me when you mentioned that you were working in a field that is quite more on the technical side. Do you see it as something similar to an art form as you develop products that could help improve lives tremendously? Or is it just a job that you expect to pay good?

(P.S Sharing these photos I took some time ago, I believe it was last year and it was submitted for a class. Hope you enjoy them as well! Not as much sun as the last one though)

First off. Before going into any of the content of this post. THAT GIANT SNAIL IS SOO COOL! I just recently found out that they exist and was just amazed by the size of them. GREAT PICTURE!!!

Alright lets unpack the content of this ask.

TLDR:

You got this I believe in you. Stand tall and proud and go for whatever your heart and head want. If they disagree pick one and evaluate later. Even if your heart and head dont know that is OK as the story of your life unfolds the path will become clear. If you are honest you can always move with confidence and never lose a moment of sleep.

I am choosing to dive deep into this again for a few different reasons. The reason I am doing this you are at a moment in time which you perceive to be important (final exams, deciding about life etc etc etc). The unfortunate thing is this moment is no more important then any other you will experience. All it is would nothing more then a "MileMarker" which you will use for evaluation later in life. That does not mean its not important. All that means is every decision you made every action you took got you to the moment you are in RIGHT NOW. So dont worry no matter your choice you will always make the right decision. Even if its wrong you will always gain insight and that insight will always lead to success if passion is applied.

how do you feel about choosing something practically over passion?

I am not sure if there is exactly a correct answer for this one. If there is I think the best one would be do whatever makes you happy, and the only way to find out what makes you happy is to try. One thing I have learned is sometimes money or love is not enough. One can have all the money in the world and be miserable. Same goes for love. One could be loved by the world and be empty inside. That answer is kind of B.S. for someone that is seeking input. With that being said I will go over some of my experiences. My very first job was at an auto mechanic shop. I used to love working on cars. I would spend my weekends doing it. I would hang out with my friends and all have a great time. So i figured it would be a good choice to work as a mechanic. So I went and got that job. I worked it for about 5 years. At the end of it I never wanted to work on cars again. To this day I will not even change my own oil because I hate it so much. Am I upset it turned out that way? Not at all. Life is all about the experience nothing more nothing less. That lesson for me was finding out what I did not like in life and was just as important in my journey as knowing what I liked. At the end of my mechanic experience I figured I should just go be a garbage man. I would get the same blue jump suit but instead of the trash coming to me I would go to the trash. Really all we can do is to try. There is no wrong answer. Even if one makes a choice and find out its wrong for you that is OK.

Was choosing tech for you a more practical choice or were you passionate about it? "Neither and both"

The reason I brought up the above being a mechanic. If i did not want the same thing to happen on my outlook of computers as it did for mechanics. It was because of this I did not get into tech. I loved it so much I did not want to risk ever hating it. So that is passion but born of practicality based on what is important to me and only me. This is was dictated by my previous experiences and not wanting to have any regret in life. More on this: I have always been interested in computers and tech. I grew up in a very poor household. We only ever had exactly what we needed and nothing more. My childhood was amazing. Yea at the time I wanted more but after I got older and realized how the world was I landed on the outlook of "I could not have asked for more and it was amazing even though it was viewed bad at the time". One of my best friends growing up his family was very rich. It was through him that I was able to get access to technology. From that my obsession was born. I loved tech so much I avoided it professionally because i did not want the same thing to happen as did with mechanics. Then one day just purely by happenstance a neighbor offered me a job. I decided at that moment you know what try it. Why not, I now knew the signs of when i might start to hate it. so why not. We can never have any form of regret. So at that first job I literally ran around a call center unplugging and plugging back in headsets. Was this something that made a difference in this world. No, was it something that I found great internal satisfaction. No. At this point did it provide me financial security. NO IT SURE DID NOT! It was until many years went by to get a chance to shine. When that moment came I was ready and I crushed it. From that moment it was all different. I gained both functional and passion in my career with huge paychecks. But you know what, none of that matters now. The only thing it provides is a story for others of my personal experience. None of it means anything right now and clearly I cannot seem to pay the bills. That is ok. I would not change my situation, the outcomes, my choices or or any aspect of how i got to this moment right now. As long as I continue to try, learn and adapt I will find my way. However none of that will happen if I never take steps on my own and try with every fiber of my being each day.

how practically was always chosen over passion as it would technically "help" them more than pursuing their passion.

Based on that statement I feel how you are looking at this in the wrong context. That statement is taken from the third person. You need to have it worded something more like this. how practically was always chosen over passion as it would technically "help" me more than pursuing my passion. The context of that change is huge. Lets take a moment and reflect on that. I bring special attention to this because 1. We can never know what is best for any other person. Its hard enough knowing what is best for ourselves. Its ok to use other peoples stories and experiences as guidance in our own actions and decisions. It should never be our place to dictate what is best for another. We can never know that persons experiences, thoughts, emotions or context. We can offer guidance and feel happy we had an opportunity to share. 2. This now forces an action from the third person to a first person. This logic dictates something must happen. Even non action is an action and should be evaluated later and potentially adjusted. Sometimes non action is the best action. Often times its not though. Its all about that re-evaluation. 3. Experience is the most important thing in life. If you are struck in any form of "I wish I could...", "I always wanted to...", "Why cant i just...", "I don't know what ...". The only way to fix that is to do anything different. If you are frozen in a conversation start with one single word "Hello". If you are struck with any form of indecision just make one that is easier and more open ended. Instead of "I will make a final decision by", change it to "I try to evaluate my choices on", then take some time do a proper evaluation. Ok i wanted to try but i was unable to do that. Its ok that happened what can I do differently to "try anything else" and step with confidence in whatever choice you make. Even if its wrong there is never any regret because you made the best decision for you at the moment. Changing the view from "Observer" to "Doer" is what this context change provides. When an honest action is taken you can always do it with confidence no matter what it is. to Your final question. Money is a sign of a job well done. If you enjoy what you do you never work a day in your life.

In final thoughts: Tomorrow will never come and yesterday is just a story that only you care about. People might want specific things for you but none of that matters. Anyone who truly cares will want your happiness above all else. If that person cant understand that then they are probably not the best person to spend your time with. If you are living in the past you are depressed. If you are living in the future you are anxious. Its all about right now nothing more nothing less. Just smile, be confident and just do what is best for you and no one else. No decisions are final, you are free to change your mind at any time. Its ok not to know. We can never know the story of life through any other way then just living it how we choose. If future you is worried (anxious). Then present you should do something to set that person which don't know but implicitly care about up for whatever that success is defined as such by you. If past you is upset (depressed) about something then future you (currently present) can do something about it and make a change. Even if that change is wrong you can tell past you (depressed) that you tried and ask that person for advise and make adjustments accordingly. As long as you try you will always get exactly what you need. Survival is a very strange thing like that. It always is right up until it is not. The moments of survival in most cases outnumber the moments of conclusion. So dont ever worry the statistics are on your side.

Time is the only thing we never get back. I choose to spend my time happy. My personal definition of happiness has changed many times throughout life (story). Money will come for me as a result of that. So far it has worked out for me. To date I have survived (lived) far more moments then i have concluded (died). The same thing can be said about anyone reading this.

Conclusion: Each time i chose based on passion, One time I lost a passion. The other time I did not. Each time I was able to survive. Each time i gained valuable experience and understanding of who I was. I always succeed because I will always try hard and hopefully learn from my mistakes just enough to be good. I want to be happy in life and If at any moment I am not that is my measuring stick to make some kind of change.

Much like the seasons change is forced.

But we will always find the beauty of tomorrow. Even though we might have suffered a broken arm.

#photography #nature #snow #original content #original writers #writers on tumblr #thoughts #questions #responses #missedmilemarkers #eyeofcathulu

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leejenowrld · 3 days ago

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hi everyone!! i just wanted to share one of my close friends and moots essay style writing and review she so kindly wrote about ‘love me back.’ it’s written with so much detail, nuance and thoughtfulness <3 i shed so many tears reading it and writing my response. this is something i had to share, so please read it with a lot of care and attention. this post will be split into two parts, @outoforbit piece she sent me and then my response 🖤 buckle up. this is a long post but if you have time please give this a read, it will awaken your heart <3

[here is the original post @outoforbit made, here’s the think piece. i copied and pasted it exactly as it was written below but in case you wanted to read it in it’s original form, here you are]

part one — @outoforbit piece that she sent me, her essay style piece on ‘love me back.’

In a world where everybody dreams of chasing the glow of a superficial spotlight, two luminaries find solace in one another’s natural light.

I could wax on poetic about these two and their love story forever, but if I had to sum up why I adore Mark and Y/N together it’d be for the way they perceive one another:

In Y/N’s eyes, Mark Lee is the sun. A body of radiance that is essential. He’s got this burning gaze that could rearrange the cosmos if he wanted it so. He’s unstoppable on and off the court. He’s triumphant because he looks into the face of tribulation not just with a quiet, steady confidence, but a certain type of knowing acceptance that he is not who or wants anyone defines him to be— he’s above it. Instead of giving into the justifiable hatred and rage he’s accumulated over the years of living in the monumental absence that’s threatened to eclipse his entire identity since prior to his birth, he’s everything warm and nurturing. Instead of replicating the destruction that is determined to extinguish his hope, he extends genuine care and tenderness. A sure, forever-certain pillar amidst the relentless chaos and clashes. Everyone just looks on and can’t help but revolve around this once-overlooked hero whose star is on the rise. That’s why it’s so hard to hold his gaze. So hard to accept that under his watchful eye, he can cut through the glamorous veneer others admire, parse through what’s obvious to the naked eye for what’s behind her carefully constructed walls, and love every aspect of who she truly is. After all, even as a talented photographer that’s got an affinity for playing with shadow and light, how is anyone able to capture the essence of a heavenly body without going blind from that type of brilliance?

In Mark’s eyes, Y/N is the North Star. A steady, shimmering point in the sky in her own incredible right. Sure, there are other bright and shiny things to entice the eye. But who could carry themselves so effortlessly? Be (sometimes frustratingly) so far removed from reality yet possess the ability to knock the earth completely off its axis at the same time? No one could ever compare to how her existence alone could slow down time, draw him in, and allow him to free-fall. Joining the Seoul Hill Ravens basketball team had him on the fast track to confronting his own blood, grappling with his mortality, navigating a sea of newly-acquired adoring fans— and it’s so easy to get lost in all of that and more. It’s dizzying like watching a time lapse of night turn into day on 2x speed. When nothing seems to be going right, he turns to her because she is his constant. While the game doesn’t wait for anyone, while all eyes are on him —waiting for his next move with bated breath— he’s only watching her. He only sees his unwavering beacon of light, leading him home. Because she is his home. She doesn’t drift away like his so-called father, like his dashed dreams when his heart seems to have failed him. She never drifts when it really counts. She’s still there when he looks up, when he needs her most. She’s always had him wishing on her, for her —she’s always been his even before either of them knew it.

*I was toying with these comparisons in my mind for a long time, and when I remembered that section in Part Two, where Y/N tells Mark about how she snuck out late at night to take pictures of the sky and constellations, it really validated this train of thought.*

Now, these lovebirds aren’t the only characters that make this story as fantastic as it. So here are my (somewhat unserious) thoughts on some of the other all-star cast of characters:

Mark’s Best Friend

I’m not going to pretend like I wasn’t hurt on behalf of Y/N when she doubted her relationship Mark, and was especially hurt when she got to hug him before Y/N was able to in Part Six. But I can understand that we haven’t gotten to know her all that well outside of what Y/N’s perspective shows. I think she deserves more grace than she receives. There’s a history there we haven’t seen. There’s an undeniable love behind those blunt approaches to protecting her best friend. I’m going to cheat a bit and reserve the rest of my thoughts regarding for Back To You. All I will say is, she’s grown quite a bit on me from what I do know, and she’s already got a home inside in my heart (I’ll be that adult and buy her the giant bean bag).

Jeno

It pains me so much to say he’s the one the didn’t get away. The one who couldn’t. (At least, not yet, anyway. Everybody go read Back To You!) Beneath the title of captain, beneath the jersey that makes him look extra hot (this is not me talking, I was trying to find Mark’s jersey number and Command+F brought me to several mentions of how great he looked in his jersey), beneath the one-who-has-it-all facade he wears like a second skin, is someone who loves so hard in the only way he knows how. Being the only son Taeyong acknowledges isn’t a blessing. Everybody knows this. Jeno knows this. However, Rome wasn’t built in a day, and dismantling Taeyong’s iron grip over the life Jeno’s worked so hard to craft for his father’s approval will prove to be a journey that’s full of strife and heartbreak. Even so, I look forward to seeing where his character will go in terms of not just setting, but also personal growth. I found myself writing and rewriting this portion about Jeno (it still proves to be quite difficult to express what it is I find so compelling about Jeno because I saw myself in him more than I care to admit; through his fiery impulses, through his defiance despite the influence his father still has over him) but personal feelings/experiences aside, there were a lot of scenes sprinkled throughout the series that could never be the same without his presence to foil and highlight other characters and the dynamics that progressed from it.

Karina

Oh, Karina, sweet Karina. I’ve attributed colors to about two people in my life. Neither of them have a color as vivid as Miss Hot Mess Express herself. Every time I see her name when I read Love Me Back, my mind just envisions nay, screams hot pink and sparkly! Rereading where you describe her in Part One, I feel like that color association makes sense now. She’s essentially the Energizer Bunny with awesome hair and pom-poms instead of sunglasses and drums. She’s the ultimate cheerleader —not just on the court, but also in life. She’s all about the good times (“She’s super fun, super flirty even with an ankle injury!” could be a cheer for her), but when she’s not having a good time, she doesn’t shy away from telling it like it is— especially to her best friend. When the laughter fades and the party’s over, she’s an eagle-eyed spectator who wants to experience true love first-hand, too. She deserves to have someone who loves her. She can see what it does to a person —love— the way it brightens you up, pushes you to make some rather bone-headed decisions, causes you to yearn for the other if you’ve been separated for even a second. I hope whoever is lucky enough to be with her constantly throws confetti and celebrates her.

Donghyuck

He’s the life of the party and hilarious. We all need a Donghyuck to be the commentator of our lives. He could make watching paint dry sound engaging and action-packed. His lively announcing made the harrowing matches so much fun, and I can’t wait to hear more from him. And him directing that dance routine in Part Three! That man really can do anything.

Chenle

Clearly he’s the arbiter of taste in any friend group. The one to pull a friend up after they’ve been knocked down during a fight. The one to tease you lovingly. The one to genuinely question your judgment, too. But he’s a ride or die friend, from the river court days to the Ravens team days. He’s seen it all. He may or may not be impressed.

Ningning

Ningning is my queen. She is fashion™ . She is all things fabulous. No notes. If anyone has any, no, they don’t— they need notes from her.

Irene & Seulgi

The two pretty best friends are a package deal, and they should apply for sainthood after everything Taeyong’s put them through

The way these two extend all love and no judgment towards their sons’ partners despite their painful past— and even taking time out of their day to offer advice and encouragement in Part Seven is something I will to exist in real life for everyone

Someone send these moms the prettiest, nicest smelling flowers. I love them so much

Sainthood Applicant #1

If Chenle’s the one who’s seen it all, well, Irene’s heard it all

+10 points for making sure her kids are attempting to practice safe sex in any capacity

I would make a terrible barista, but I’d love to work at her cafe. Name a cozier place in the entire series, I dare you

Real talk, though, Mark recounting how she cried after kids teasing Mark about his father and Jeno, and how he quit the little leagues for her broke my heart. Part Three was too real for me as both a reader and person

Taeyong might have not ever had an ounce of love for Mark, but Irene had enough love for the both of them and whoever else that would make the effort to be a part of the mother-son duo’s lives

Her strength to pick up the pieces and never look back is something I will to exist in real life for everyone

Sainthood Applicant #2

Again, Part Three, but Y/N’s thoughts are thoughts I’ve had regarding a personal situation

Paired with someone I love dearly and am so, so lucky to have in my life looking at me in the soft way Seulgi looks at Jeno and the ache of pity that Y/N feels for her— it actually made me optimistic that if I can feel seen from finding the things that haunt me, then there’s hope that things that made me feel joy from this series also exists in real life as well

I felt a little less crazy and alone the day I read this

Her endless kindness, her efforts to build a relationship with Mark and Irene for the sake of Jeno is a type of generosity I will to exist in real life for everyone

Dishonorable Mention:

Taeyong

I believe in a higher power in every universe. He is not that higher power. He will never be that higher power no matter how many times he schemes, manipulates, and cruelly attempts to crush the spirits of his sons and everyone they hold dear. The audacity of that man to come onto the court and berate and shame everyone he lays eyes on

There were some tears shed earlier, so my eloquence is lost on me. Here are some of scenes I would kiss on the forehead and tuck into bed every night for varying reasons:

“Without a second thought, he’s gone, swallowed by the crowd. You stand there, invisible, feeling like an afterthought. You watch as Jeno gravitates toward a group of girls, the kind you’ve seen around before—the ones who always seem to be in his orbit, looking for a chance to get close. They laugh at something he says, their hands grazing his arm, their gazes hungry. And Jeno, your supposed boyfriend, leans into it.

You watch as one of the girls, dressed in a tight, glittering dress, dances close to him, her body pressed against his as they move to the beat. Jeno’s hands rest on her waist for just a second—nothing more than a passing touch, but it’s enough to sting. Enough to make your stomach twist. She leans in to whisper something in his ear, and he smirks. It’s a look you’ve seen before—not necessarily malicious, just confident, like he’s always known how to handle this kind of attention. His eyes are a bit hazy, a mix of alcohol and the mood of the night, and he doesn’t even glance in your direction.” (Part One)

Now, this obviously isn’t the sweetest scene a person could read —let alone experience— but it so perfectly highlights how incompatible Y/N and Jeno are despite suffering similar issues. Tying back into my whole spiel about luminaries, Y/N doesn’t yet see her worth, her inner light. She’s going through the motions, thinking the only body of light in her life is Jeno, with his own entourage of bright young things (in sparkly dresses no less). At this point in the relationship, the person who should’ve seen her not only focused on everybody her, he didn’t even try to spare her a look. It’s got Y/N feeling like not only are they drifting further apart, but she’s slipping away from life in general, being more spirit than star.

As for Jeno, he’s not doing too hot either, not really. Having his girlfriend not understand the weight of his incoming brother stir all sorts of fear in him made him throw himself further into the company of people that appreciated what he could control: his carefully constructed reputation. He’s drifting too, desperately search for warmth and light in places that won’t suffice. But he’ll pretend they’ll due because it’s easier, more comfortable to live the fake life he knows than leave for any love that’s true.

“As the game continues, it’s clear that Jeno underestimated his brother. Mark isn’t just holding his own—he’s thriving. Each basket he makes feels like a step out of the shadow Jeno has cast over him for so long. For Jeno, this is about dominance, about keeping Mark out of his world. But for Mark, it’s about more than that. It’s about carving out his own place, about proving he can hold his own.” (Part One)

I’m a broken record, but I won’t stop playing with this comparison of these beloved characters to stars. You can’t cover the sun, not really. Sure, the moon might slide on by and cast a shadow onto the earth to make you think such a light could be swallowed whole. I know Jeno’s mentioned as the shadow in the text, but I think the true shadowy menace is Taeyong and the damage he’s done to these boys. For years, he’s pretended one son doesn’t exist and the other is constantly pushed to the breaking point. Jeno is acting on behalf of him, going off what he was taught. So Jeno thinks he’s losing his life, but in reality, he’s slowly losing a shadow himself. He’s operating out of a deep-seated fear while his brother carries on with quiet confidence.

Back to Mark. He may not have had Taeyong, but he had all the warmth and love Irene and Doyoung could give. For everything people mocked him for lacking, he possessed something Jeno was deprived of. He grew up in an environment full of freedom that encouraged him to cultivate his own light, to nurture it into something truly astonishing. He’s truly confident and he’s got the skills to back it up. When you shine that bright, who can really stop you? When you have your own light, why would you ever feel the need to steal it from anyone else?

“You let your hand rest on top of his, feeling the warmth of his skin under your fingertips. His fingers instinctively intertwined with yours, the touch delicate yet reassuring. It was more than just physical contact—it was the silent understanding that you weren’t alone anymore, that he was here, holding you through it all.” (Part One)

Guys, gals, and non-binary pals, the luminaries have made contact, I repeat, the luminaries have made contact.

This is peak intimacy

After everything that’s been going on and falling apart, Mark’s presence, his gentleness and warmth has brought Y/N home. Gravity has never felt so good

“His smile widened a fraction, but he didn’t say anything, waiting for you to continue. With slightly trembling fingers, you reached into your bag and pulled out a small, carefully wrapped package—a record you had made just for him. The case was simple, but you had taken the time to customize it—his name written in a looping script across the front, surrounded by small doodles of guitars and basketballs. You had put more effort into it than you’d ever admit, each stroke of ink a small way of thanking him without having to say the words.” (Part Two)

Would a 2000s teen show inspired romance be complete without a custom mix to express your gratitude???

We need to bring this back, or maybe it never stopped and I’m out of the loop

Bottom line is this shit is cute, especially because Y/N is artistic and Mark’s a music major so it’s so personal and thoughtful

““Relax,” he says again, his voice low, soothing, his gaze focused on you as if you’re the only thing in the room. “Just be yourself. That’s all I’m asking.” His fingers adjust the angle of your arm, his thumb brushing along your wrist as he guides you into a natural, comfortable pose. The intensity in his gaze makes you feel like he’s peeling back every layer, seeing something raw and true beneath your surface.

He lifts the camera, snapping a few shots, his focus unwavering. “That’s perfect,” he murmurs, his eyes flicking from the viewfinder to you, his smile soft, encouraging. “Just like that.” There’s a quiet reverence in his tone, as if he’s in awe, like he’s seeing you in a way no one else ever has.” (Part Two)

Peak intimacy, but with photography

It’s really sweet to see Y/N, someone who’s always been on the other side of the camera to capture other’s beauty, finally be seen by someone who not only sees her, but wants to see her for all that she is beyond her physicality

I think it’s in these moments that Y/N is learning to let the light into her life, letting Mark into her life by sharing something that’s important to her (her artistry, her craft)

“Her frustrations are further compounded by the fact that she can’t openly express these feelings without seeming petty or envious. So, she remains silent, wrestling with her feelings privately, which only adds to the weight of her isolation. Every laugh and whisper she overhears, every moment she witnesses of your shared happiness, is a reminder of the void within her own emotional landscape, making her feel even more detached and alone.

Thus, her reactions and expressions are not just about the disruption in the household or the inconveniences caused by your romantic escapades. They are about a deeper, more personal ache—an ache for connection, for being seen, for being part of something as effortlessly beautiful as your relationship with Mark. In her quiet moments, she grapples with these feelings, unsure how to bridge the gap between her loneliness and the contentment she observes in you.” (Part Three)

Here, I go again, talking about light. In Karina’s case, I think she’s got disco ball vibes. It may sound less impressive compared to the sun or a star, but I genuinely believe Karina is her own special sort of light. A million reflective pieces placed onto a sphere that never stops sparkling or spinning, matching the mood and raising the vibes. She’s a dancer. An entertainer. The one who can’t be missing from a party.

But what happens when the party ends? It’s not that she stops sparkling, but when you spend so long reflecting someone else’s shine —in this case, Mark’s sun and Y/N’s star— how long before you start to wonder it would feel like to be seen that way too?

Karina’s always been by Y/N’s side, always trying to lift her spirits and show her support. It can be scary to feel like you’re being replaced. It can be isolating to want love but not know where to find it

“The light in Mark’s eyes and the broadness of his smile as he embraces his mother capture you completely. He seems to radiate happiness, the kind that fills the space around him and draws people in. His cheeks, surely aching from smiling so much, only add to the warmth that his expression carries. Watching him in such a pure moment, you can’t help but feel a surge of joy that tightens your chest in a familiar, yet always surprising, way. It stirs something deep within you—a mix of admiration and a sharp pang of longing. What was this tightening in your chest that seemed to draw tighter with each of his smiles?

Seeing him like this makes you ache to be by his side. You want to be the one he shares these moments with, someone who can give him the same comfort and support that he gets from his family. The happiness on his face brings a soft smile to yours, even as you feel a small pang of longing, wishing you could step closer, congratulate him, and tell him how proud you are. But, for now, you stay where you are, letting the warmth of his happiness reach you from afar.

“That’s how he looks when he’s with you,” Karina murmurs, startling you. She’s right beside you, and her presence snaps you back to reality. You quickly ask about her condition, recalling the fight she’d been involved in. She waves off the concern, showing only a few scratches. “We handled it,” she assures with a wry smile.

Your attention drifts back to Mark, who now converses with a man standing close to his mother. The man’s presence is comforting, almost fatherly as Mark looks at him with evident respect and fondness. Curiosity about his identity flickers through your mind, but the warmth of seeing Mark surrounded by love overshadows it.” (Part Three)

It’s starting to feel all too real, isn’t it? It’s easy to get lost in the darkness, to get used to it. We’ve seen some characters revel in the darkness in order to bask in a superficial light. Jeno fighting his brother for the spotlight that Mark’s never wanted. Karina strung up for temporary joy, fixed to the ceiling and not the sky she craves. Y/N still caught in the residual darkness of her past relationship and self-doubt. Three close friends who grew up in an environment abundant in artificial light. It can be hard to break free, to recognize the natural radiance of a genuine support system. When you get a taste of it, even from afar, how do you stretch out your hand and accept it? What if it dims because they had to share it with you?

I’ve felt that fear before. I’ve felt like my heart was a gaping blackhole in my chest where a heart should be. I imagined myself to be a thief, a light-snatcher of sorts. In the case that I ever generated enough light to share, it would somehow not be enough to sustain someone else. But everybody’s got an inner light, and these lights only make the world brighter. When it comes from a place of love, it won’t dim. When it’s nurtured, it won’t extinguish. This is the heavenly sight that unfolds before their eyes when they watch Irene and Doyoung showing up and celebrating their son Mark.

“Mark’s smile was calm, reassuring. “I wanna introduce you to all of my friends,” he said, his expression warm as he glanced down at you.

You nodded, but your heart raced. Even though you’d been here once before with Mark, this felt entirely different. This wasn’t just the two of you stealing a quiet moment together—this was stepping into a world that meant so much to him, meeting the people who had shaped and supported him long before you were in the picture. The weight of the moment settled over you as the court came fully into view, the sacred space alive with movement and laughter.” (Part Four)

I really love the reverence Y/N has for the life Mark has outside of her. I know she’s nervous, but this was equally important to Mark. He wanted to let someone he loved into his world, he wanted to share all the things and people that made him who he is with the person he wants to spend his future with. Their little world is expanding, and the light is shining brighter on them.

“Karina doesn’t let up, her hand still resting gently on your knee. “I know it’s not,” she says, her tone patient but firm. “But you’re making yourself miserable trying to live up to what everyone else thinks or expects. The only person who needs to believe in this relationship is you—and Mark. He’s chosen you, Y/N. Every single day, he chooses you. Doesn’t that mean something?”

Her words dig deep, unravelling the knot of doubt and fear tangled inside you. “What if I’m not enough?” you whisper, the confession slipping out before you can stop it. “What if I’m the one who ruins it?”

Karina listens quietly, her brows furrowed as she takes in every word, her hand resting lightly on your knee as if to ground you. When you finish, her voice is soft but steady. “You know,” she starts, “the way you’re reacting… it’s not unnatural. When something feels this real, this overwhelming, it’s instinct to want to push it away. You’re scared because it matters so much.” Her words hit you like a gentle nudge, a reminder that your feelings aren’t abnormal, but they still don’t make you feel any less guilty.

“But, Y/N,” she continues, leaning forward, “Mark makes you happy. I can see it. Everyone can see it. He’s good for you in a way no one else has been. He brings out something better in you—makes you lighter, freer, even when you don’t realise it. And I think you do the same for him. That’s rare, and you deserve that. You deserve someone who makes you feel this way, even if it’s scary.”” (Part Five)

Shit’s getting real. Words are exchanging, and not all of them are sweet and patient ‘I love you’s. The blood feud alone was enough to weigh on Y/N’s mind. But the brothers aren’t the only ones fighting. To feel a love as real as the one Mark has for her is terrifying. She’s battling herself, and she could lose it all.

I’ll never sing enough praises for Karina being a guiding light to Y/N, helping her make sense of the matter at hand. It’s not just Mark that chooses Y/N. Karina chose her too. Y/N’s got some great people by her side.

Y/N doesn’t have just a soulmate in Mark. She’s found one in Karina too. And she can start showing herself some love by allowing the good to enter her life. She’s allowed to be happy, to be seen, to be loved.

“And then, as if sensing the shift in the air, Jeno glances toward Taeyong, who stands near the edge of the court, clipboard in hand, his posture rigid. “This guy’s gonna kill us,” Jeno says, his voice low but tinged with a rare, conspiratorial edge. His laugh is dry as he gestures subtly toward their father, who looks every bit the control freak he is, hunched over his notes with an intensity that borders on manic.

Mark’s eyebrows furrow slightly, but he doesn’t dwell on it. He plays along, responding like nothing had ever gone wrong. “Yeah,” he mutters, wiping the sweat from his forehead and glancing toward Taeyong, who is hunched over his clipboard, scribbling with an intensity that feels borderline obsessive. “But we’re not gonna let him.”

Jeno turns to him, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. “You thinking what I’m thinking?”

Mark mirrors the expression, his own smirk creeping up. “I may be thinking worse,” he replies, a quiet defiance in his voice. “You know how much I hate that man.”

The shared admission hangs in the air for a moment, thick with unspoken solidarity.” (Part Five)

While Y/N have had a heart to heart, it’s time the Lee brothers were shown some love. This love is defiant. For all the brashness that Jeno usually exhibits, this feels different. It feels like bravery. He’s found a kindred spirit in his estranged brother Mark. Despite leading separate lives, they both lived under Taeyong’s shadow. But in this brief moment, they can overpower that looming absence of light together. They recognize their father’s stolen their shine, but they’re making moves together to not let that happen anymore —even if it’s just for today.

“You glance back at Mark, unable to stop yourself. He’s leaning against the bleachers now, his head tilted back slightly as he laughs at something Jeno said. He looks so at ease, so untouched by the chaos that’s been consuming you. And for a moment, you wonder if you made the right choice. Maybe he really is better off without you, without the mess you bring into his life.” (Part Five)

I know it’s easy to get caught up in this whirlwind romance. I’ve gushed about it for so long. But there’s so much more to love than what’s shared between lovers. Y/N, still wallowing in her own doubt, can’t yet recognize that the bond that Jeno and Mark could share won’t be sullied by her presence. It’s okay to let more than one type of love in at a time— even if it’s not fully formed or completely realized.

“Without a word, you smacked his chest, narrowing your eyes as you shifted to straddle him, your movements slow and deliberate. His grin faltered slightly, replaced by a flicker of something softer, more serious, as your hands cupped his face, your thumbs brushing over his cheekbones. “You need to promise me,” you whispered, your voice trembling with equal parts fear and determination. “Promise me you’ll tell your coach, go to the doctors, and get your medication. I don’t care if you hate it. I don’t care if you’re scared. I don’t care if you hate that your dad has the same condition.” You paused, your voice breaking slightly as your fingers tightened against his skin. “None of that matters, Mark. The only thing that matters is you. I need you alive. I need you happy and healthy. You’re everything to me.”” (Part Five)

Y/N is basically telling Mark she loves him without telling him she loves him

She’s had the capacity to love all along, she was just so caught up in her self-doubt

Mark really is the sun in her life, if he goes, she’s going with him

““I’m so proud of you,” you whisper, your voice trembling with emotion. Your thumb brushes along his cheekbone, wiping away the faint trace of tears. He doesn’t respond, but he presses his forehead to yours, his breath mingling with yours in the quiet space between you. His eyes flutter closed, his face tilting into your touch as if seeking out more of your warmth, your reassurance.” (Part Six)

I don’t have anything profound or revolutionary to say, I just live for these moments where the love Y/N’s experienced/seen now has her showing love in that same way. Character development!

“Doyoung turns his attention to Jeno, his expression shifting into something softer, almost hesitant. “And you, Jeno. You’ve been carrying your own weight, haven’t you? I see the way you look out for Mark, the way you protect him—whether it’s from himself, from others, or from all the crap life throws at him. You don’t just step up when someone asks you to. You do it because you care. Because you’re loyal. And it’s not just about Mark. You’ve been trying to hold this family together in your own way, even if you don’t realize it.”

Jeno’s brow furrows slightly, his posture stiffening. “I don’t know about all that,” he mutters, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I just do what I can.”

Doyoung shakes his head, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “It’s more than that. It’s the way you show up. For Mark. For everyone around you. And I want you to know, Jeno—I’m proud of you.”” (Part Six)

Again, nothing profound. The scene is already so well-written and so full of love and recognition. Jeno deserves it just as much as anybody else in this story (except Taeyong obviously)

““I am serious about him,” you pressed on, your voice growing stronger, more resolute with each word. “More serious than I’ve ever been about anything in my life. Mark isn’t just someone to me—he’s everything. And yeah, I’ve let him down before, but that’s not who I am anymore. I’ve spent so much time running from my feelings, trying to figure out what I want, and it’s him. It’s always been him.”

Chenle’s eyes lifted cautiously to meet yours, uncertainty softening the rigid lines of his face. He didn’t speak, but his silence felt less like rejection and more like quiet consideration.

“I’m not here to argue,” you added, your voice gentler now but no less firm. “I’m here to prove you wrong. To prove to you, to Mark, and to myself that I’m ready. That I deserve him. Because he’s mine, and I’m his. And I’m not letting him go.”” (Part Six)

When I first read this part, I was so nervous I thought my heart was gonna explode. What would Chenle say?? What would Mark say??

Rereading it, I feel a sense of peace knowing it was Y/N’s time to put in the work to prove that she loves Mark, that’s she serious about him and about them. I’m proud of her.

“Then he jumped. It was the kind of jump that stole the breath from your lungs. Time seemed to stutter as his body soared, muscles taut and perfectly aligned, his form defying the laws of physics. His arm stretched upward, commanding the ball with a precision that was almost primal, before slamming it through the net with a force that sent a violent shudder through the backboard. The crack of the dunk reverberated through the gym, but it was instantly drowned out by the deafening roar of the crowd.” (Part Seven)

I know I’ll never do this justice. I’ve made my peace with that. You made all the magic, and we’re just here to experience it and appreciate it

I’m sorry, Nabi, I’m keeping that giant bean bag for myself because this scene will live in my heart forever. I need a comfy seat to relive it forever

Every time I watch One Tree Hill and a scene where Lucas is shown to make a shot, I think of this scene and I stop breathing for a bit

If there’s anything cheesy input I have for this awesome scene, it’s this: To love is not to diminish, but to thrive. Real love doesn’t burden you, digging its talons into like some scavenger on the hunt, wanting you to bleed. It’s uplifting, helping you sprout wings, letting you soar. (iykyk)

Is it possible for two celestial bodies to share the same sky and almost never touch? Of course, but it’s far from impossible. What easily could’ve been exclusively a story about star-crossed lovers on the courts, Love Me Back recounts the electrifying tale of letting the light into a cold, lonely existence. A defiant testament that even the most patient and loyal of loves can pierce through a never-ending darkness and transcend any pre-determined history.

*Eagle-eyed readers will notice I've left out all the crucial, super sexy scenes. Again, I could never do it justice the way it was intended. Anyone that's made it this far should go read this for themselves. Experience it for the first time. Experience it again for the seventh time. Forever if you'd like (and should). I know I'm hyperbolic, but this truly was a life-changing series for me in more ways than one. GO READ IT!!! CHECK OUT SOPHIE'S WORK!!!*

part two — my response

thank you so much for sending me this beautiful, incredibly detailed review. i genuinely don’t even know where to begin because you’ve given me so much to think about, reflect on, and appreciate. i’m floored by the effort and depth you’ve put into this—it’s clear how much love and attention you’ve given to these characters, and it means the absolute world to me. i’m going to do my best to respond to every point you’ve raised because every single part of this deserves recognition. genuinely i shed tears and i reread everything twice with the biggest adoration and gratitude in my heart. thank you, truly 🖤

mark and y/n: the sun and the north star

this is… breathtaking. i’ve spent so much time in mark and y/n’s heads that i never stopped to consider how they might look from someone else’s perspective. the way you’ve described them, with mark as the sun and y/n as the north star, has given me a new appreciation for their dynamic. the way you see mark—this unstoppable, nurturing, resilient force who somehow turns his pain into warmth and light—is exactly who i’ve always wanted him to be. your observation about how he chooses tenderness over anger, care over destruction, is such an insightful take on his character. and your point about how he sees y/n, how he cuts through her defenses and loves her for who she really is, is just… perfect. you’ve captured their connection better than i ever could.

and then y/n as the north star—i’m speechless. your description of her as a constant, someone who can anchor mark even when everything else is spinning out of control, is so moving. i love that you picked up on how she’s his home, his safe place, the one thing he can always count on. and the way you tied it back to the constellation scene in part two? chef’s kiss. it’s such a thoughtful connection, and it shows how much care you’ve put into understanding their story.

mark’s best friend (nabi)

i love that you’re giving her grace because she’s such a complicated character. everything she does comes from a place of love, even if it’s not always easy to see from y/n’s perspective. the history she shares with mark is so important, and i’m glad you recognized that. her bluntness might rub people the wrong way, but she’s fiercely protective of the people she loves. i can’t wait for you to see more of her in back to you—i think her story will surprise you. and yes, she absolutely deserves a giant bean bag for everything she’s been through (and will go through) ;)

jeno

your thoughts on jeno broke my heart in the best way. he’s such a layered character, and you’ve captured his struggle so beautifully. the way you described him as someone who “loves so hard in the only way he knows how” is spot-on. his relationship with taeyong is such a huge part of who he is, and i love that you see the complexity in that. he’s trying so hard to live up to impossible expectations, and it’s tearing him apart. but at the same time, he’s so compelling because he wants to be better, even if he doesn’t always know how. your comment about seeing yourself in him really touched me—it’s a reminder of how universal some of these struggles can be. i’m so excited for you to see where his journey goes in back to you because he has so much potential for growth.

karina

hot pink and sparkly is such a perfect way to describe her! i love that you see her as this vibrant, energetic presence who reflects the light of those around her. but you’re absolutely right—there’s a vulnerability beneath all that sparkle. she wants to be loved just as much as anyone else, and it’s hard for her to see that kind of love happening around her without feeling like she’s missing out. your hope for her to find someone who celebrates her is so sweet, and it makes me even more excited to explore her character further in future stories.

donghyuck

what would we do without him? he’s such a joy to write, and i’m so glad you enjoy his energy. he brings so much levity to the story, but he also has these moments of surprising depth that i think add a lot to the dynamic. he’s the ultimate hype man, and i hope he continues to bring you as much joy as he brings me.

chenle

your description of chenle as the arbiter of taste made me laugh because it’s so true. he’s the friend who keeps everyone grounded, but he does it in his own teasing, loving way. he’s seen so much of these characters’ journeys, and his perspective is always one i look forward to exploring more.

ningning

queen. fashion™. no notes needed—she’s fabulous, and i love that you love her.

irene & seulgi

your love for these two warms my heart. they’ve both been through so much, but their strength and kindness never waver. i’m so glad you see how much they mean to their sons and to the story as a whole. their moments with mark and jeno are some of my favorites because they’re such a reminder of what love and resilience look like.

taeyong

yes, dishonorable mention indeed. he’s such a looming presence in the story, and i love that you see how his influence casts a shadow over everything. but i also love that you see how mark and jeno are slowly finding ways to step out of that shadow. it’s a journey, and it’s not an easy one, but it’s so rewarding to see them start to reclaim their own lives.

your breakdown of your favourite scenes makes my heart swell with happiness and gratitude. this part alone deserves its own detailed response by myself. and i’m so grateful you had the chance to reflect on these specific moments and their layers. this entire breakdown is a testament to the thought and love you’ve poured into this and your support for me, and i’ll do my best to address everything with the same depth you’ve shown.

“without a second thought, he’s gone, swallowed by the crowd…”

this scene from part one is such a raw, painful moment, and your analysis brought a whole new light to it. you captured y/n’s invisibility perfectly—the way she feels reduced to a shadow, fading away while jeno gravitates toward people who only appreciate the surface level of him. your description of her being “more spirit than star” at this point is so evocative. it’s heartbreaking to think about how little she sees her own worth in this moment, especially when she’s clinging to someone like jeno, who’s equally lost but better at masking it.

and jeno—your take on him is spot on. his retreat into a life he can control, even if it’s fake, mirrors y/n’s own struggles. it’s not that he doesn’t care about her; it’s that he’s too consumed by his own demons to show it in the way she needs. your insight into his carefully constructed reputation and his need for validation is exactly what i hoped readers would see. he’s drifting, yes, but his actions are rooted in fear and an aching need for something real, even if he doesn’t know how to find it yet.

“as the game continues, it’s clear that jeno underestimated his brother…”

i love your breakdown of the lee brothers’ dynamic here, especially the way you compare their journeys to celestial bodies. jeno being trapped in taeyong’s shadow, acting as an extension of his father’s will, is such a painful reality. he’s trying so hard to dominate a world that was never truly his to control, while mark is carving out his own space with quiet, unshakable confidence. your point about taeyong being the real shadow is so profound—he’s the one who’s poisoned their relationship, and both brothers are trying to break free from his influence in their own ways.

mark’s journey, on the other hand, is a testament to resilience and love. he’s had irene and doyoung nurturing his light, and that foundation gives him the strength to thrive in ways jeno hasn’t yet learned. your reflection on how mark’s inner light makes him unstoppable is such a beautiful way to frame his character. he doesn’t need to steal anyone else’s shine because he’s already built his own, and that’s what makes him so magnetic.

“you let your hand rest on top of his…”

this moment is one of my personal favorites because it’s such a quiet, intimate turning point. y/n finally lets herself be vulnerable with mark, and in doing so, she starts to see that she’s not alone anymore. your description of this as “peak intimacy” is perfect—it’s not just physical contact; it’s emotional connection, a promise that mark will hold her through whatever comes next. you’ve captured the gravity of this moment so well, and it’s a joy to see how deeply it resonated with you.

“his smile widened a fraction…”

this scene with the customized record is such a quintessentially 2000s teen romance moment, and i love that you see it as a reflection of y/n’s artistry and her growing connection with mark. it’s such a small gesture, but it speaks volumes about how much thought and care she’s starting to put into their relationship. your call to bring this tradition back made me smile because it’s such a lost art, and it fits y/n and mark’s dynamic perfectly.

“relax,” he says again…”

your take on this photography scene is everything i hoped for and more. y/n, who’s always been behind the camera, finally being seen and celebrated for who she is, is such a pivotal moment. mark’s gaze is transformative here—he’s not just looking at her; he’s showing her that she’s worth being seen, worth being captured. your description of this as her learning to let the light in is so poignant. it’s a moment of trust and intimacy that sets the stage for everything that follows.

karina and her disco ball vibes

your metaphor for karina is both hilarious and heartbreakingly accurate. she’s so used to reflecting the light of others, to being the life of the party, that it’s easy to forget she has her own shine. your empathy for her struggle to feel seen is so touching, and it’s exactly what i wanted to convey with her character. she’s vibrant and dynamic, but beneath all that sparkle, there’s a vulnerability that makes her so human. your hope for her to find someone who loves her for all that she is warms my heart.

“the light in mark’s eyes…”

this reflection on mark’s happiness and y/n’s longing is such a beautiful summary of their dynamic at this point. mark’s joy is infectious, and y/n’s yearning to be part of that light is so relatable. your recognition of karina’s quiet support here is such a lovely touch—it’s a reminder that love comes in many forms, and even when it’s hard, it’s worth fighting for.

“karina doesn’t let up…”

karina’s pep talk in part five is one of the most important moments in the story, and you’ve articulated why so beautifully. she’s not just supporting y/n; she’s challenging her to see her own worth, to believe that she deserves the love mark is offering. your point about y/n finding soulmates in both mark and karina is so moving—it’s a reminder that love isn’t limited to romance, and that we all need people who lift us up and push us to be better.

the lee brothers’ shared defiance

your description of this moment as bravery is so perfect. jeno and mark are finally starting to find common ground, to see each other not as rivals but as brothers who’ve both been hurt by the same man. their shared defiance against taeyong is such a powerful moment of solidarity, and it’s one of the first steps toward healing their fractured relationship.

“you glance back at mark…”

y/n’s lingering doubt here is so poignant, and your reflection on how it ties into her fear of being a burden is spot-on. she’s still learning to trust that she’s enough, that she doesn’t have to dim anyone else’s light to let her own shine. it’s a slow, painful process, but it’s moments like this that show how far she’s come and how much further she’s willing to go.

final thoughts

your last paragraph about letting the light into a cold, lonely existence is so powerful. it perfectly encapsulates what i’ve always wanted this story to be—a testament to the power of love, resilience, and finding your own light. i’m so grateful for your kind words and for the way you’ve shared your own experiences and connections to the story. it’s readers like you who make writing such a joy, and i’m so thankful to have you as part of this journey.

thank you, thank you, thank you for this incredible review. your support and insight mean the world to me, and i’m so excited to share more of these characters’ lives with you in back to you. you’ve truly made my day with this, and i hope my response does justice to the love and care you’ve put into your words.

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haloburns · 2 days ago

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i forgot i made this post tbh it's only been two months, but seeing it again made me remember that i promised to find the note i made about the cluster's kids. i'm just gonna copy it over pm wholesale bc i think it's funny

the title of the note is "found family avengers 2012 style fic"

family units within the cluster

riley + will = starla

nomi + amanita + bug = micah (ivf)

lito + hernando + dani = carlos (ivf, lito+dani)

sun + mun + her dog = (oldest to youngest) min-jun (m), ha-eun (f), si-woo (m), ji-hun (m), ji-a (f), eunseo (f) (all adopted)

capheus + zakia = kamili (f), daudi (m), jelani (m)

kala + rahjan + wolfgang (+ felix) = savi (no one knows if raj or wolfie are her dad, and no one cares)

other parts of the found family that don't live with them

diego + wife and kids visit OFTEN, caph's mom and jela visit as often as they can manage, and riley's dad basically lives with the cluster

extra headcanons (under the cut bc it's long)

micah (nomi + amanita) is nonbinary as hell, and the oldest of the cluster's kids. it's his birth, watching him grow up, that helps riley come to terms with her fear of losing another baby (which ofc is helped by neets and nomi's support)

riley cries and cries and cries when starla is born, and she doesn't let go of her for three days

kala only has the one baby, sweet little savi. rahjan and wolfgana fall in love IMMEDIATELY but kala takes a little longer to feel those maternal instincts everyone's always going on about. rahjan becomes Thee Stay-At-Home Dad, and he loves every moment of it. kala's father teaches him how to make all kala's favorite dishes

sun and mun adopted six kids because sun refuses to be pregnant (see trans!sun hc) and mun is a bleeding heart (affectionate)

lito cries every time he and his partners see everyone with their kids (literally. he's a blubbering mess.) so dani makes a mostly off hand joke about willing to carry a kid for lito and hernando, but hernando takes her hand and says it would be their kid, so she starts tearing up, then hernando starts tearing up, and then the three of them are set up in the kitchen drilling neets and nomi about their experience with ivf. carlos is born two years later, with the blackest eyes and the sweetest brown curls. lito hasn't stopped crying yet (carlos is three months old)

they live in a HUUUUGE house on a fair bit of land somewhere. there are 17 adults, 13 kids. 5 king size beds for the couples. alaskan king beds for kajangang and lito/nando/dani. felix and bug each have their own rooms in the house, and riley's dad does too even though he still refers to it as the guest room (he's been there eight months). all of their family members have their own rooms in the guest house (did i mention the house was huge??) so they can visit, but they don't have to be IN the absolute chaos if they don't want to be

age order at the time of this theoretical fic ive never written:

micah (14)

min-jun (14)

ha-eun (12)

savi (8)

starla (8)

si-woo (7)

ji-hun (6)

kamili (5)

ji-a (4)

daudi (3)

jelani (7 months)

eunseo (5 months)

carlos (3 months)

queer headcanons for the main sense8 cluster

nomi - obvious, trans woman and a lesbian, potentially bisexual

lito - gay man in a polyamorous relationship. meet his boyfriend and his boyfriends girlfriend who is also his emotional support fag hag

riley - bisexual as hell. gender is a costume and one she loves to put on. probably some level of gender neutral/agender but i feel like shed stick to the nonbinary label for ease sake

will - man's a lil bit fruity ngl he enjoys sense8 sex with lito and wolfgang more than hed ever admit outloud, and he does enjoy the occasional skirt or two. more gender fluid than trans, eventually adopts she/her pronouns in addition to his he/hims. when he tells nomi and lito, they throw him a party

capheus - the happiest cis+ youll ever meet. bisexual as hell and not ashamed in the least. he loves with his whole heart, how could he limit himself to just one gender????

sun bak - as previous post stated, trans man, bisexual. loves mun but not entirely sold on the monogamy bit

wolfgang - the fattest fucking bisexual to walk this earth and proud of it. you see that hitch in raj's step?? yeah HE did that, and he's not gonna stop being smug about it until he can do it all over again. obvs polyamorous, he's so in love with rajhan its actually a little sickening

kala - the token straight. how she managed this with seven queers in her head, i have no idea. she loves her husbands without a doubt, but kissing girls is a little scary for her (probably bc shes afraid shell like it "too much" which— actually yeah. i support closet bisexual kala, nvm, token straight card revoked)

#sense8 #i've spent A LOT OF TIME thinking about htis #also i edited some of these from my original hc bc they needed updating #namely dani carrying lito/nando baby bc AS IF SHE WOULD SAY NO

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swordsovereign · 7 months ago

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seofon genuinely gets mad whenever he thinks abt ceodric bc damn ... if his life had gone Bad he could've been just like that (also he has other seofon in the back of his mind this is not helping him) and he is just so ... Upset everything sucked there and it also sorta drove it home even more that people are not just envious of the power the eternals have, they're SCARED of it and he doesn't want people to be afraid of the eternals he doesn't want them to be afraid of HIM but it causes all these doubts and considering how his mental state has been going on the steady decline ... yeah.

that was bad times all around he just does the Usual Seofon Thing and smiles so people dont know how fucked up he is over it

#⎛ ⚔️ sword sovereign in the sea of stars ╱ meta ⎠#every time there is a post about heart of the sun i think of this

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seventh-district · 9 months ago

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i’m not like other girls, my “Rest” stats are a heart rate of 110bpm and a HRV of 14 fucking milliseconds. :)

#Seven’s Public Diary #vent #vent post #cw vent #cw vent post #cw health #cw heart #i’m so stressed :) i am soooo fucking stressed and my body is Suffering because of it #i want to just lay here and stare at the ceiling but. maybe a little venting will help #sighhhh wish [N]MbD Sun were here to obsessively fret over me #he can be mean about it idc. at least i’d have someone acknowledging how bad things are for me #sometimes i wonder when the last time was that my body Wasn’t in fight or flight to some degree #have i Ever actually relaxed #hhhhhhh c-ptsd is a bitch #anyways there’s so much to vent about but i’m. doing my best to be vague. i need to be more vague about things #a lot of stuff i can’t vent about anyways. it’s too personal #so instead i’m gonna complain abt how i haven’t been able to play Genshin or Star Rail for nearly a month now #and about how slowly my back is recovering. it’s like every time i re-injure/have a flare up. it heals.. worse. slower and lesser #i dunno how it’s ever gonna get better. truly better. maybe i’ll live with this forever #if being fat is the problem which is definitely partly is. then yeah i’m fucked #all of my problems just make each other worse and i don’t know where the way out of it all is #every time i think i’ve found it i’m wrong and i just make it all worse #anyways as soon as i figure out how to strengthen my core without breaking my back. it’s over for u bitches #‘u bitches’ being uh. all of the shit that needs doing that i cannot physically fucking do right now #i miss being able to sit down. and i’m Regretting de-converting my standing desk back to sitting bc now. i cannot use my PC #which means i can’t fucking do a some of my work or play my silly little gacha games and i’m mad abt it #i’m mad abt a lot more serious things too but again. can’t talk abt it so i’m gonna focus on trivial shit instead #anyways. sorry as always to everyone i haven’t spoken with lately. and in general. i’m so drained from the Everything that i just. can’t.#it shouldn’t be this hard for me to stay in touch w ppl but. it is. guess i’ll add that onto my list of things to be stressed about #i’m so tired of everything man. and i hate being so negative and mean when im stressed & in pain. makes me feel like im becoming my father

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sharkdays · 1 year ago

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i love pokemon

#every so often i get into some other media #or hell i just dont think about pkmn too hard #but god i love it so much #i've been hit w some heavy waves of pokemon love recently #idk just. i owe a lot to that #it was my introduction to video gaming when i was young #even now pokemon games are among the few i can finish and not forget about #and i attribute it to my bond with my brother too a lot #since he's the one who introduced me #idk #the pokemon world obv has villains and stuff but its at heart such a kind world #and i have to not think of my own pokemon too hard otherwise i'll cry. i love my little guys #sun and moon especially. i know ppl criticize it for it's handholdy nature but by god #it came to me in a dark time and not only got me back into pokemon but also helped me realize my identity as a man #fuck. gonna cry thinking abt lillie and gladion #alola my beloved #pkmn #shark speaks #this post brought to you by im redoing my notion and decided to make some layouts based on my main team #i bought some charms of some of my pokemon by an artist #and not only did they recognize me from my other purchases but they left a note #w a sketch of the pokemon saying they bet my pokemon think im the coolest #and logically i KNOW its just as a sweet business tactic #but i did get emotional abt it

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shouyuus · 15 days ago

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18+, yet more vi-shaped brainrot, mndi

yes so we have all considered rugby/college roommate!vi but have we considered waterpolo/childhood bff!vi.

waterpolo!vi who's constantly at the pool, so much so that her sweat even on her gym days smell like chlorine. who will stand in the lockers with nothing but a towel around her waist, water still dripping down her body, tits out, just texting, grinning down at her phone bc she totally doesn't have post notifs on for your instagram... like who does that, right? but damn, you look cute in the little sundress you wore to brunch last sunday with your friends -- she wonders if you'll tell her about it at lunch later today.

waterpolo!vi who's been friends with you since childhood, and you were the one who go her into swimming because that one summer when you were both eight and your mom signed you up for swim-class, you cried for half and hour bc you said you weren't gonna know anyone there. and vi, being the amazing bff and neighbor that she is, of course, volunteered as tribute. she'd never forgotten how much fun it was to play in the shallows with you after the class had ended, splashing at each other, pretending to have a tea-party, sitting criss-cross at the bottom of the sun-soaked water, how you'd pulled your hair out of the swim-cap and let it halo around you in soft, wispy waves.

waterpolo!vi who definitely hasn't told you that she only applied to this uni (on a sports scholarship bc she knew that'd get her in) bc you said it was your top choice. thankfully, it has one of the better waterpolo teams, so you were ecstatic when you found out. who, by then, has definitely figured out that her affection for you is just a bit more than straight up bff status, but she also don't wanna fuck things up with you so she keeps her mouth shut. and really, she asks herself, what's the difference anyway? i mean, you hadn't even blinked when she brought up wanting to sign up for the same freshman dorms. ("of course we are! what, did you think i'd let anyone else be my roommate? gosh, it's like you don't know me at all!")

waterpolo!vi who tries to give you your own space (having practice every single day helps with that tbh), but can't help when her heart skips a lil every time you text her, or every time you post something on social media. she tells herself that it's okay to text back immediately, you've been friends for so long after all, right? that doesn't make her look weird or desperate? right? right.

waterpolo!vi who honestly still gets off to the memory of the one time the pair of you made out drunkenly at a party in high school -- it had been one of those backyard parties where everyone was drinking fucked up jungle juice and things were already a mess when you got there. but you were always down for a good time, and so was she, but somehow, it'd ended up with the pair of you curled up in a dark corner, your legs slung over her lap, her fingers inching up the hem of your spaghetti strap top, all eager, clumsy lips and needy little moans and the taste of your strawberry-mint glitter lipgloss.

waterpolo!vi who definitely tries a bit harder to show off whenever you come to her games, always checking the stands, her face lighting up whenever she spots you in the crowd, waving at her, cheering whenever she makes a goal. afterwards, she'd find flowers tucked into her locker and the rest of the team snickering at how red she's gotten staring at them before she towel-whips the nearest one and tells them all to shut up.

waterpolo!vi who asks you to come to the gym with her, promises it'll be chill and that she won't work you too hard, but nearly short-circuits when you show up in a pair of lululemon shorts and a sports bra, your hair tugged up into a high ponytail, telling her that you got these super cute stickers from a cafe you went to last week and have been meaning to give one of them to her so your water bottles can match. who makes good on her word of not working you too hard, but she definitely suffers in her own workout that day cause she's too busy watching you do squats (she tells herself its to make sure ur form is good but we all know the truth).

waterpolo!vi who freaks out when, on her birthday, the water polo team texts her and tells her to come to the pool house, alone. she thinks it's just another one of their weird pranks, but when the lights click on and you're standing there behind a massive cake with her name hung up behind you in lurid, bright pink blow up balloons, she freezes. and then a there's champagne popping and spraying at her, completely soaking her tanktop, sticking to her skin. you squeal, laughing as you shake a bottle towards her, grinning so wide she thinks her heart might burst.

"surprise! happy birthday!"

"holy shit -- oh yeah! it's my birthday!"

you roll your eyes, dabbing at some champagne that had gotten on your cheek, glancing at a few of the other girls.

"yeah, that's the thing with birthday's vi, they happen every year. and yet somehow every year, i'm the one that remembers its your birthday."

vi just grins, pulling you in to press a fat, wet kiss to your cheek, making you squirm bc she's literally soaked with champagne still, and a few of the girls on the team smirk in her direction when they make eye contact with her, but she only glares at them before going back to watching you fuss about the cake and how many slices to cut it into.

an idea slithers into her head, a truly insidious idea. but fuck it, it's her birthday, and she deserves to have a little fun (and she doesn't think you'll be too mad at her afterwards), so she inches her hand up till it's cradling the back of your head, then shoves your face into the top layer of the cake. you yelp, jerking back with your mouth wide open, icing smeared across your skin. everyone laughs, but vi only grins and wipes a bit of the sweet cream from your cheek, sucking her thumb into her mouth.

"mm delicious, princess. thanks."

you blink at her for a few seconds before sighing, attempting to wipe a bit more of the cake from your face, and falling into a fit of giggles as well.

"whatever, i guess if it makes you that happy," you say, accepting a few napkins from one of the girls on the team. someone else takes over cutting the cake, and a few un-spilled bottles of champagne are already being poured into red solo cups. "i'm gonna go clean up -- be right back."

vi watches you make for the lockers, but someone shoves her towards you. she turns to find several of her teammates motioning furiously in your direction, mouthing go, you fucker, go!

she teeters for a few seconds before jogging after you.

"hey! i'll -- uh -- i'll come with you. since it's my mess too." she laughs, nudging you with her shoulder as she catches up to you.

waterpolo!vi who has to hold her breath when she's helping you wipe cake icing from your face, running a damp towel down your neck, you tilting your head back to give her better access.

"so, how long've you been planning this?" she asks, if only to say something to break the silence.

"not that long -- like a week or so. the cake took the longest -- i wanted to get it from your favorite place on the edge of town, but they don't do deliveries, so i had to go and get it without you knowing, and then figure out where to hide it --"

"oh is that was the 'emergency study sesh' was that you had to run off to this morning was?"

you grin, sheepish as she pulls back to look you over.

"yeah... but i mean -- as long as you liked it! it was worth it, right?"

"oh i loved it, cupcake," she says, casually bopping your nose as she tosses the towel into the big laundry cart for cleaning. she takes a breath, "you're the best friend a girl could ask for, princess."

and she sees it the, the something flicker across your face, a shadow that darkens your eyes for just a second before you look back up at her.

"uhm... about that --"

"hm?" vi turns so fast her neck almost cricks. fuck.

you're staring at her, and she's staring back. there's a moment, like the held-breath between twirling fan-blades.

"i -- uhm -- damn," you look down at your hands, your cheeks suddenly flooding with color, "i had this whole speech prepped and everything --"

vi plops down on locker bench in front of you, tugging your chin back up.

"c'mon, princess. what is it?"

your eyes catch, and vi feels her stomach flip, her heart crawling up the length of her chest to beat, bleating and desperate, at the back of her throat. she can almost taste the metallic thump of it on her tongue.

"i just -- it's --" you twist your fingers in your lap, "i've been meaning to... to tell you for a while but uhm --"

"tell me what?" fuck, her voice comes out so raspy, so needy. she swallows, trying for her usual nonchalance. "you can tell me anything, y'know that right, cupcake?"

you purse your lips, her words seemingly setting you more and more on edge. she leans forward, mesmerized by the pink plumpness caught beneath your teeth. she swipes her thumb along the corner.

"sorry -- missed a spot..." she pulls back, showing you the tiny smear of icing on her finger.

"i like you," you blurt out, the momentum of the words carrying you forward just a bit, and you're gasping when you jerk back, eyes wide, as if you can't believe you'd just said that out loud.

vi freezes.

"oh."

"sorry that was -- i was gonna tell you later tonight -- i had this whole thing planned but -- ugh, there's even a really nice bottle of wine chilling in the fridge --"

but vi's kissing you, and holy shit -- vi's kissing you. her hand at the back of your neck, her other hand cupping your cheek, and she's pressing you back so hard you almost stumble off the bench, squeaking in surprise when she nearly hauls you to your feet to press you up against one of the lockers, cushioning your head with a palm.

"v-vi? mmngh --" you gasp, lashes fluttering as she licks her way down your neck, sucking a hard hickey into the skin there, her teeth biting down as she fists her fingers in your hair.

"holy shit -- sorry -- just -- you have no idea how long i've wanted this --"

she pulls back, her pupils blown, and for a second, you wonder if she's drunk -- you wonder if you're drunk because what is happening right now -- but then you remember that neither of you have had anything to drink yet.

"y-you have?"

vi groans, pushing back in to mouth at your lips, "yeah -- sh-shoulda told you earlier but --" she tugs at the strap of your dress, reveling in the tiny little gasping sound you make as she nips at your collarbone.

waterpolo!vi who can't believe this is happening right now -- really, she might be dreaming, but even if she is, whatever. it's the best dream she's had in ages, having you whimpering against her in this empty locker, your fingers digging into her back as she rucks up your skirt.

"fuck princess, if you're joking about this you better tell me now because --"

"i -- i'm not violet, i swear if you stop --"

she keens when she tugs aside your panties and feels your wetness collect on her fingers. she grins, pulling back just far enough to catch your eyes -- they're glazed over with want, and so, so soft. it almost makes her pause, almost.

she pushes forward, sinking a finger into you, groaning at the tightness. your head lolls back against the closed lockers and vi takes the chance to admire you -- the soft sweep of your lashes as your eyes flutter closed, the round o of your mouth as you moan, the tiny crease between your eyebrows as pleasure paints itself by strokes across the delicate features of your face.

"yeah? that feel good, princess?"

"mm -- mhm --" you nod, fervently, looking back down with half-lidded eyes, reaching down to pull vi back towards you for a long kiss. you lick into her mouth, rocking your hips down against her hand. she hisses against you, her mind nearly fizzing out at the way you drop your face into her shoulder, hanging onto her for dear life as she fucks you on her fingers.

waterpolo!vi who misses nearly her entire birthday party for fucking her new girlfriend to pieces in the lockers. not like her teammates didn't know -- sound really carries in that locker room. she knows. they know. you only find out later when the pair of you come back to the party, red-faced and way too disheveled, vi looking way too smug.

"have a good time in there?" one of the girls asks.

vi shrugs, "yeah y'know. just had to make sure she was cleaned up properly."

another girl rolls her eyes, "yeah right. and im sure all the screaming was because you were just doing such a thorough job, right."

vi smirks, "i try."

waterpolo!vi who makes a point of coming back from swim practice with her hair still wet, a towel draped around her shoulders, baggy shorts around her hips, a tight white tank, and nothing else, just because she knows it makes you pause, knows it sets you off. grins when she comes home to drop a kiss to your cheek and you look up, only to swallow, eyes raking down her body.

"gonna jump in the shower, wanna join me?"

you crinkle your nose, glancing back at the group project you were trying to finish with some classmates on zoom.

"uhm -- sorry guys -- i gotta go."

"wait what -- we're supposed to finish this tonight --"

"sorry, there's uh --" you glance back at vi, who's smirking, leaning in your doorway, an eyebrow hitched, "i think my girlfriend burnt the toast in the kitchen -- sorry, bye!"

you hang up the zoom call even as vi scoffs.

"really? i burnt the toast one time."

she tugs you to her for a kiss as you try to walk by her towards the bathroom. you grin against her lips.

"yeah, and it set off the fire alarm for the entire building, remember?"

"mm. yeah, whatever," she mumbles, busying herself with tugging off your sweatshirt as the pair of you stumble into the bathroom.

"how was practice?" you ask, as vi kicks the door closed behind you, jerking off her tank with one hand, kicking it away on the tiled floor before advancing on you with a predatory glint in her eyes.

"it was fine. we did passing and man-up drills. nothing too bad -- shoulders are sore though."

"yeah? you wanna massage after this?"

"mm that does sound nice," vi says, twisting on the shower, jerking her head for you to step in, climbing in after you with a soft, satisfied groan as the hot water hits her aching muscles.

"but for right now," she says, twisting you around and pressing a quick kiss to your lips, "why don't you get on your knees for me, pretty? there's just one more thing i want you to take care of for me before that massage."

you lick your lips, kiss her back, before dropping to your knees with a sweet smile.

"ready for your post-workout?" you ask, blinking up at her with your big, innocent eyes, even as your fingers inch up her thighs, coaxing them apart. vi groans, leaning back against the cool shower tiles.

"holy fuck yeah."

#⛈ monsoon season #clearly i have some kind of hangup/obsession with college sports vi like we are just.... cycling thru this shit at this point oh my god #vi x reader #arcane x reader #vi smut #arcane smut #holyyyyy shit 2.7k words ohhhh my god lskdjfasd LOL like no this is unhEALTHY at this point i need HELP #i love childhoodbffs to lovers so much and it's just so much fun to think about all the fucking mutual pining #i also love mutual pining can you tell.#vi x you #arcane x you #vi arcane smut #vi x reader smut #arcane x reader smut #vi x y/n #arcane x y/n #arcane #lesbian #wlw fanfic #this has so little to do with waterpolo im so sorry i know nothing about sports okay #the only sports i've ever done/know anything about is figure skating and ballet sldkfjsod i just know that waterpolo girlies are BUILT DIF #also swimmer!vi pulling herself up out of the pool with water just dripping off her????? GOD HELP ME.#♨ steamy

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rafecameronsslut4ever · 3 months ago

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CASUAL pt.2— lando norris (angst)

pairing; fem!reader x lando norris summary: it took lando too long to realise it wasn't just 'casual'. warnings: a LOT of angst, toxic relationship, sexual implication, not proofread a/n: casual part 2 was not really a part of the plan but the audience had demands 🦧also i think this was too long lmao. AND IM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG DELAY OMG

part 1 - casual

miami grand prix: the biggest pr nightmare for every driver—especially lando norris.

the media had been all over him that weekend, going to the lengths of literally calling him 'the hottest catch on the single market'. hollywood stars and instagram models were so desperate to marry him and have his kids that they didn't catch on the fact that he was a 23-year-old racing driver who couldn't give a fuck about them.

because he was stuck on you.

for weeks, he'd waited—hoping you’d reach out, or at the very least, watch his instagram stories. he posted shirtless photos, sun-kissed photos—hell, he even threw out a thirst trap just for you. But you didn’t take the bait. you didn't take the fucking bait.

you hadn't texted him or spoken to him since the moment you walked out of that hotel room weeks ago, so he didn't try to reach out either. "would've been a blow to my ego," he'd told sainz.

but now, he didn't give a shit about his ego. he was tired of waiting.

his eyes darted across the packed club, friends and guests scattered all around. he couldn't wait to get out of there.

he hadn't been drinking. didn't really feel like it. truth be told, he hadn’t been feeling much of anything at all.

pool parties, clubs, yachts, champagne and girls.

he was tired of the glitz and glam of his life, and you were the only escape from it.

but you were gone.

his mind wandered to that morning, when you had kissed him and the two of you had ordered room service. when he had held you for the last time.

he hated how the only thing on his mind was you. how it was the only thing on his mind all through the celebrations, as hookers danced around him and people tried to pour drinks into his mouth.

for fuck's sake, he had won a grand prix for the first time in his life, and yet he was unhappy.

how did he get here?

he looked up, eyes falling on a group of men in the VIP section, the lights illuminating their faces.

everyone could tell something was off with lando. he didn't want to do any of this.

all he wanted was you. you, you, you.

the girl who had left without an explanation.

why had you left, anyway? no calls, no texts. your friends avoided him, and you avoided his friends. it was like the two of you were nothing.

lando norris was many things, but he was not a fool. he could recognise when something was wrong, or when a situation had escalated beyond his control.

he knew that there was a reason why you left, but the reason never clicked in that thick brain of his. what had he done wrong? where had he gone wrong?

"i'm not feeling too well, mate." he muttered, handing the beer bottle back to the guy standing next to him.

okay, maybe not admitting his feelings for you had fucked things up. but, what could you expect? he didn't have the time to give you what you deserved.

not right now, at least.

lando norris had the world on his fingertips. he could have any girl he wanted. anyone, really.

"what are you waiting for, then?" the other man asked, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"what?"

"just call her, bro. i know it's about a girl because there's no way any sane man would say no to expensive beers and a million hot hookers."

did lando even know this man? probably not.

"i can't call her. she doesn't want to talk to me. trust me, i've tried."

"have you?"

he didn't know how to deal with rejection. not like this, not with you. you weren't supposed to leave.

"judging by your sulkiness, i doubt you're going to find a girl like her again. and you'll never have her if you're here."

lando didn't have a heart of stone, as much as his social media persona might suggest. he didn't care for any of this. the women, the money, the fame.

he wanted to hold you again. kiss you, tell you he loves you. he wanted to hold your hand. he wanted to be near you, and only you.

so, when his feet hit the floor and he found himself walking towards the exit, he wasn't surprised.

yeah, it was foolish of him to leave a party full of women who were celebrating him (literally) for a girl who had ghosted him, but the need was stronger than his pride.

out of the yacht, he was dialling the only number he'd ever memorised. the phone rang, and then it rang again.

would she be wearing his clothes, or would she have gotten rid of everything related to him?

maybe she'd found another man, finally realising that lando was a bad investment.

as the phone rang, you were hidden in your apartment with blankets wrapped around you and a youtube video playing in the background.

it had been months since you'd heard the word 'casual' leave his mouth. months since you had fled london and monaco to move to miami.

at first, his words had echoed in your mind constantly, and you'd cried yourself to sleep a few times more than you'd like to admit.

but just like every heartbroken poet in history, the hurt faded and the pain slowly morphed into hatred. and anger.

you wanted to slam your head against a wall. scratch that, you wanted to slam his head against a wall.

it was so stupid, and you hated yourself for believing he'd been genuine.

it was just sex. that's all it ever was. it truly was just casual.

the phone was still ringing. your finger hesitated over the answer button. you weren't going to answer it.

it wasn't worth it. you didn't want to hear his voice. didn't want him to have the satisfaction of knowing that his words had hurt you. you didn't want to know if he was sleeping around, if his girlfriends were prettier than you.

so the line went dead.

lando stood by the harbour, watching as yachts and ships sailed past him. the air was humid and his t-shirt clung to his body, the heat almost unbearable. the sound of waves, the distant laughter and music, and the sound of his ragged breaths.

he ran his fingers through his hair, looking around. where was his car?

he had to find his way back to his hotel. he was a mess, and his clothes were sticking to his skin. he needed to fix his appearance, buy a bouquet a flowers.

he checked the time on his watch, and cursed as he saw the numbers. it was almost 3 am. he wouldn't find flowers anywhere at 3 am.

"fuck it." he said, running over to his car. the drive was quiet, save for the low hum of music and his occasional swearing when someone drove a little bit slower than he'd like.

lando norris had the world on his fingertips. he could have any girl he wanted. anyone, really. but he only wanted you. he was a hopeless romantic, and you were his muse.

when he pulled up outside the apartment, his nerves were going haywire. he ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath before getting out of the car.

he knocked twice on the door and when it opened, his eyes lit up.

you stared back at him, sleepiness in your eyes and confusion etched on your face.

and god, did you look gorgeous.

he loved you, he realised. he had to cross his hands behind his back to stop them from reaching out and holding you close.

"lando?" you breathed out.

he had grown a slight stubble since you last saw him. his hair were still the same, except a little bit longer. his blue eyes were wide as he looked at you.

"hey," his voice was shaky.

"what the fuck are you doing here?"

he wanted to say so many things. ask you why you left, where it went wrong, why you moved to miami. he wanted to declare his love for you, press his lips to yours, hold you by the waist. he wanted to hear you say that you loved him too.

he was so in love with you, and you had no idea.

"lando? why are you here?" you asked again.

he was at a loss of words. what could he say? he couldn't exactly just stand there and say nothing.

"because," his voice cracked, "i miss you."

your throat went dry. he could not just say that.

it had been weeks. weeks of him not contacting you, weeks of you not speaking to him. the phone calls had stopped, the text messages had stopped, the late night chats had stopped. everything was just gone.

and now, he missed you?

tears welled up in your eyes, a lump forming in your throat. you shook your head, pushing back the tears, "go away."

"what? no, wait. wait. don't do this." he pleaded, his voice fragile and desperate, like a child trying to avoid bedtime.

"lando-"

he interrupted you, voice louder than before. "can we please talk about this?"

"what is there to talk about?" you were raising your voice. you hated him. how could he act like this after all that happened?

"everything. just—please, can i come in?" he sounded so pathetic. he felt so pathetic. his hands were slightly hovering over the door, ready to push it open and walk in.

the request took you by surprise. "i-no."

you missed him. there was no denying that.

you wanted him to tell you it was okay. wanted to go back to that night in his mclaren, the night he told you he liked you. wanted the weekends spent in london with his family. you wanted him, all of him.

his curly hair wrapped around your fingers, blue eyes staring at you, soft lips kissing you. his cold hands grabbing yours, and his voice saying your name. you wanted it to not be casual.

"i just want to talk to you."

he was drunk. there was no other way he would've showed up here, let alone begged to talk to you. the fact that he needed to be drunk to have this conversation made your blood boil.

"do you still have my jacket?"

of course, you still had his stupid jacket. the one that had his smell embedded into the fabric. it was an exclusive print mclaren had given him, and he had swung it around your shoulders after the night you had first made love to each other.

but he didn't care about the jacket, and neither did you. it was just a reminder.

you were silent for a while, taking in the sight of each other. it was his breath mingling with yours.

"i love you." he whispered.

your breath hitched in your throat, the tears finally falling out of your eyes as you sighed.

"i love you," he repeated to himself. "yes, i do. and i've known that since the day i met you."

you choked back sobs as you shook your head, "you're drunk, lando."

"i'm not," he chuckled, "maybe a little, but not enough."

then, he added, "i mean it. i love you." his voice was steady. he truly meant every word. but he didn't know what would happen now.

"what do you want me to say, lando?"

he sighed, "anything."

you laughed bitterly. anything, he said.

anything would've been better than what had happened.

"i don't think i can do this, lando."

"we can take it slow."

"you've never done slow."

he fell silent again because you were right. he'd never done slow. he didn't know how to take things slow. he was a fucking formula 1 driver, after all. slow wasn't something he did. he'd always lived life like it was the last day. and that's how he had lost you.

"i'm sorry," he began, his voice breaking. "i should've been a better person. i'm sorry for everything i did. i should've given you more, i-i should've loved you more, because you deserve so much more. i'm so, so, sorry."

"lando," you whispered, "it's not—"

"don't make excuses for me, please. i love you, i realy do. and if i have to spend the rest of my life proving that, i will." and he meant every word. "i just want you back."

your mind was racing, a million thoughts running through it. it was like a movie. his blue eyes, his voice, the desperation in his tone, the way he stood before you.

"okay," you muttered.

"wait, okay? does that mean—"

"you're gonna have to work for this," you said.

"i know, and i will. i promise."

you sighed, rubbing your temple. this wasn't a good idea. "get in."

lando's face lit up, and before you could change your mind, he had walked into the apartment. he hadn't really been here before, considering you moved here after the two of you had stopped talking. but the apartment was lovely, homely. everything you.

you closed the door behind him, watching him look around the living room.

"how'd you know where i live?"

he chuckled, turning to face you. "i'm a famous driver. i have my sources."

"i'm sure." a tense silence followed, neither of you knowing what to say.

"i'm not letting this happen again," he blurted, "i'm not. i don't know how, but i won't."

"i don't believe you." you scoffed.

"fuck, baby, what do i have to do for you to believe me?" he stepped towards you, closing the distance.

"stop calling me that."

"you are my baby." he tried to joke.

"lando, i'm not joking."

"i'm serious too," his voice was sincere, "i love you, and i'll do whatever it takes for you to believe me."

you had been through a lot together. the highs, the lows. you had seen him at his best, and at his worst. the good and the bad.

he moved closer, reaching a hand out to hold yours. you didn't know why, but the moment his hand touched yours, it was like a switch had flipped inside of you.

you let his hand wander over yours like a ghost, his calloused fingertips tracing over your knuckles. he intertwined your fingers together, eyes casted down.

"i've never cared about anyone the way i care about you." he admitted in a soft voice.

and then he pressed his lips to yours. his other hand wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

and god, did he taste the same. lando had a way with his lips. it was a talent. he kissed you like he needed your lips to survive. he was desperate for your touch as if he had been starving without it.

you were so lost in the feeling that you hadn't realised how far you had pushed him until the back of his knees hit the couch, and he fell on top of it.

his eyes were wide, mouth hanging open. his shirt was halfway unbuttoned, exposing his chest and toned abs.

the two of you stared at each other, eyes searching the other's.

"i love you." he murmured for what seemed like the hundredth time that night.

maybe it was the way his blue eyes bore into yours, or the way his lips quivered, or maybe it was the fact that he had driven across the city to say this.

but for the first time that night, you believed him. suddenly, the anger was gone. it was all gone.

"i love you, too." you whispered.

it was the only thing the two of you needed. the confirmation, the reassurance. the love.

you leaned down and connected your lips once more, hand reaching up to his curls and tugging lightly. he moaned into the kiss, pulling you on top of him.

your tongue entered his mouth, the taste of him making you lightheaded. his hands roamed over your body, the feeling of his skin against yours.

"baby," he whispered between kisses, "i want you so bad. i've waited so long."

his lips trailed along your jaw and down your neck, sucking marks into the sensitive skin.

"i want you," he murmured against the crook of your neck, "so fucking bad."

but he pulled away, flipping the two of you over so he was on top of you. he took off his shirt, and rested his head on your chest. he cleared his throat, "i should've asked this question earlier, but are you single?"

"yeah." you chuckled, running a hand through his curls.

"so, can i be your boyfriend?"

"lando norris," you hummed, "did you finally get the guts to ask me out?"

"yes," he smiled, lifting his head up to look at you, "yes, i did. will you be my girlfriend?"

"you're a dork."

"that's not an answer."

"yes," you laughed, "yes, i'll be your girlfriend."

lando grinned, and you grinned back.

it wasn't casual anymore.

(u guys im so sorry if i've tagged someone who doesnt want to be tagged i just had no idea how to let non-followers know part 2 is out bcs tumblr is not letting me reply to comments😭if anyone wants their tag removed, feel free to dm me!! i hope u liked this) @oscarpiassrri @meglouise00 @f1fantasys @technicallypleasanttree @ggaslyp1 @obxstiles @nataliambc @prudyhoo @idkwtdwml123 @ushygushybaby @emilyroxy @yootvi @fishingarden @pillowprincess4him @herexpertcollector

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metalheadsforblacklivesmatter · 1 year ago

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Heat Intolerance

This disability pride month I'd like to talk about heat intolerance. Because honestly although it's not the first health issue that presented symptoms in my life. It was the first time I was like "I don't think my body works right".

And honestly given disability pride month is during one of the hottest months in the year. It seems fitting. Especially because there's a lot of disabilities and medications that cause it.

What is heat intolerance?

Simply speaking it's the inability for the body to regulate it's temperatures especially in hot settings to cool itself down.

Why is awareness important?

Because gaslighting people or worse not providing them a place to cool down just because you "feel fine" is extremely fucking dangerous.

What are the medicines that can cause heat intolerance?

Antihistamines (Allergy medications) . Decongestants (Sudafed or any medication that has the D at the end of it). Stimulants (ADHD medications. Steroids. Caffeine.) Beta-blockers (blood pressure medications). Overactive bladder treatment. Psychiatric medications (including but not limited to medications for depression and anxiety). Pain relievers. Antibiotics.

What medical conditions can cause heat intolerance?

EDS (Elhers-Danlos syndrome). Autism. ADHD. Migraines. Brain/spinal-cord injury. Sensory processing disorder. Chronic fatigue syndrome. Endocrin problems. POTS. Menopause. Hypothyroidism. Diabetes. Heart Disease. Multiple sclerosis. Mental health disorders.

What should I do if I suspect I have heat intolerance?

Reduce time outside during hot months. Keep your electrolytes up. Drink plenty of water. Stay out of the sun whenever possible if outside. Be aware of the symptoms of heat exhaustion and heat stroke.

Clothes that are best worn for heat intolerance. Loose lightweight breathable fabrics. Natural fibers. Long sleeves that protect from sunburn as sunburns will increase your risk. Light clothes that reflect light. Wide brimmed hats that shade the face and neck.

Cool. So what are those symptoms I'm supposed you be looking for?

Headaches. Excessive fatigue. Mood changes. Muscle cramping or weakness. Nausea/ vomiting. Rapid heartbeat. Excessive sweating or not sweating at all.

When should I do to the doctor?

If you suspect you have heat intolerance you can go to your PCP to discuss what medications you may be on and what you can do about it. Otherwise, please go to the emergency room if you have symptoms of heat stroke.

This is good information and all but why are you making this post?

To raise awareness. Not just for the people that have it but weren't aware of what it was called. But for all of the idiots that tried to gaslight me when I was in school because I was like "I don't think this is normal. Every time we do our mile run outside I vomit all over the place but other kids aren't doing that."

Also because people always blame me for over heating if I wear long sleeves or pants. I always like to take notes from what people in the middle east wear because they literally live in the excessive heat and spend long hours in the excessive heat. Often in clothing that covers most of their body. They've gotta know what they're doing, right?

I have some type of xenophobic comment about why people from the middle east cover up

Shut the fuck up 😊

-fae

#disability pride #disability pride month #disability awareness #heat intolerance

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johnslittlespoon · 6 months ago

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morning reblog + snippet <3 need to get in the habit of doing this but somehow once the chapter is actually posted i get nervous despite sharing bits and pieces the whole time i'm writing lol?? silly!

sappy but waking up to the ao3 comment emails had me giggling kicking my feet twirling my hair this morning, i rly do tear up reading them, i'm so so thankful for every interaction on this fic and ik i repeat myself every time i post a new chapter but i just. appreciate the love so much and i'm so grateful for the patience i've been shown as i navigate a proper long fic for the first time!! wowie

idk what i did to deserve stumbling into a fandom so kind and sweet and supportive and INSANELY creative and talented (simultaneously thanking barry and hating him for getting me attached to that precious little lieutenant and then ripping him away just as fast fml), i genuinely feel so lucky to have something to be excited about every day and as much as i love writing this fic, i can't wait to be done so i can lock in and pour over all my friends' fics and give back so much love :')))

You're A Dog (I'm Your Man)

Ch. 5/8 – 'I Count My Time In Dog Years'

[WC: 27K | Gale Cleven/John Egan, Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Requited Unrequited Love]

John Egan loves like a dog.

[AO3 LINK]

#dog coded bucky fic #buckbucky #i swear every time i post a new chapter i disappear for at least 12 hours bc i get that nervous and yet i yap 24/7 here why #it's not like i expect bad responses or anything like no one's ever been anything but kind but i still feel so vulnerable hitting publish #i've been writing fic on and off for at least a decade now and i don't Think i used to get this much stage fright??#i think maybe i just haven't cared this much about a project like. ever. it's scary putting ur soul into something even fanfic #anyway hashtag imposter syndrome hashtag morning musings hashtag does anyone else confidently post their fics or are we all anxious xoxo #as always had to be sappy under the read more i just feel like i can't ever adequately express my thanks #like i'll never get over how thankful i am to have found passion thru this fandom when i did. i needed it then/now more than ever <3 #+ will always feel so lucky for the friends i've made here! genuinely never met so many mf cool people in a fandom n it makes my heart happ #nah bc if i get this sappy now i'm terrified for the fuckin dissertation i'm gonna be writing out at the end of this fic #sorry in advance hopefully y'all just smile and nod and move along it's probs gonna be disgusting xoxo #okay taking my tag privileges away and getting more writing done yippieeee insert dolphin and rainbows and sun pic #actually also. i've had my paypal hacked like 3 times this year (idk maybe i'm a dumb bitch but like i'm broke idk why they target me JSDGJ #so when i wake up to 10+ emails i immediately have flashbacks and think it's happened again and i'm gonna have to sit on call w support #and then turns out i've just forgotten i posted a fic before bed and instead i get to read cute comments and weep <3 yay

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ellecdc · 2 months ago

Note

I can’t find many fics with this…but would you maybe be willing to right poly marauders x werewolf reader?

Not in like a super angsty way. Maybe just like the morning after the full moon and Sirius and James are teasing reader and Remus because “you guys are like puppies chasing after bunnies.” Or maybe like prep for the moon and wow all the chocolate is gone it’s barely been a day.

I love this! thanks for the request, I hope I did it justice <3

poly!marauders x werewolf!reader post full-moon [836 words]

CW: fem!reader, post-moon care, werewolves being giant goofy baby dogs, James being doting, sirius being soft af [my kryptonite], Remus being stupid in love

His eyes - though obviously clear and clean of any blood, sweat, or debris - feel like they are crusted over. His chest feels like it’s being weighed down by a herd of erumpants. And his mouth tastes like acid and iron.

But the first thing from his mouth is the sound of your name as it rips through the sandpaper that's coating his throat, blindly feeling around on the bed whilst refusing to open his eyes.

“Easy, Rem.” James whispers, and Remus can feel gentle fingers card through his hair. “She’s okay.”

“Where is she?” Remus croaks, still blindly searching for you even though it has become clear Remus won’t find you there.

“She’s right here, Moons.” He hears Sirius murmur, further from him than James is, which makes him too far away.

Remus finally wrenches his eyes open and turns his head on his pillow, his neck cracking audibly as he finally spots the bed you’re situated in.

If Remus didn’t know better, he’d think it rather looked like Sirius was the one in the hospital wing; laying back on the bed, his head propped up comfortably on the stack of pillows meant for you whilst you were situated between his legs, your cheek smooshed up against his chest that rose and fell in time with his breathing.

But Remus does know better.

“What’re you doing in her bed?” Remus grumbles, but the inflection is more a result of his current state and less to do with any real ire. He’d be lying if he didn’t admit how sweet a picture it painted; Sirius’ onyx hair fanned out against the white of the pillow cases, the sun warming a few strands ever so slightly causing them to appear a chocolatey brown as your breathing continued in perfect rhythm. You seem so content, so secure, so loved that even whilst unconscious, you lean into them with your full trust.

“Same thing Jamie’s doing in yours.” Sirius responds breezily around a yawn, and Remus looks up to notice that James is actually perched on the head of his bed looking down at him - like he hung, well, the moon - massaging at his scalp that Remus swore saw any residual tension seeping from his body with every stroke of James’ careful fingers.

“She okay?” Remus asks then, letting his eyes fall closed as Sirius lets out a indignant scoff.

“‘Course she is, we’re not new here.” He sneers playfully at Remus, pulling you closer to him by the shoulders when you shift in your sleep and brushes his hand up and down your back in broad strokes; Remus is sure it feels heavenly.

“We’re fine too, by the way.” James teases as he leans down to press a kiss to Remus’ forehead. “Not like we were the ones doing all the hard work last night or anything.”

“Hard work.” Remus snorts. “I’m sorry; did your bones bend and break, and did your skin stretch and snap twice?”

“No…” James admits, though it’s Sirius who continues the banter.

“We were just in charge of chasing two giant, hyperactive puppies through the forest all night.”

“We’re not puppies.”

“Yes you are.” Sirius laughs, though Remus can tell - for Sirius’ part - he’s working very hard to dim his brightness in an attempt to keep you sound and not wake you. It makes Remus’ heart swell. “Dolly’s afraid of her own sodding shadow and yelped at every snapping twig, requiring plenty of reassurance, and Moony spent about twenty minutes chasing his own tail before he fell head first into a tree when he got dizzy.”

“That’s not true, is it?” Remus whispers to James who quickly offers him an apologetic smile.

“‘Fraid so, Moons. The two of you also had what I swore was a howling contest last night, too.”

“Oh my gods.” Sirius laughs as he recalls the memory. “Moony’s voice actually cracked like a teenage boy going through puberty, and Dolly’s voice was completely hoarse by the time we convinced the two of you to knock it off.”

“She’s not going to be able to speak more than a whisper for the next foreseeable future.” James adds, looking equal parts fond, exasperated, and sympathetic for you as they watch you push your face into Sirius’ chest.

“We’ll make her tea.” Sirius declares, his own voice but a whisper as he holds you close, eyes far away as if he’s focusing especially hard on keeping you comfortable and sleeping soundly.

“With lots of honey.” Remus agrees quietly, smile growing when Sirius’ eyes meet his and crinkle in the corners.

“Pandora told me she has a recipe for lavender tea; could be nice to try after a moon, hm?” James offers.

“You’d probably like that too, hey Moons? Lavender tea.” Sirius asks.

And Remus couldn’t deny that he would probably like just about anything so long as he was able to enjoy it with the three of you; pre- and post-moons, recovering in the hospital wing, watching paint dry, steeping tea…whatever.

“Yeah, Pads.” He admits. “I think I would.”

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menagerofmischief · 16 days ago

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Heart song (OP81)

summary: in the middle of dating rumors, current music industry hit, y/n l/n releases a love song which leaves no space to deny her relationship. -> based on this request

fc: olivia rodrigo

cw: bad language,

a/n: the only bands I listen to are a bunch of old men or a bunch of dead man, safe to say I don't know much about bands so I made her a solo artist.

liked by: oscar piastri, sabrinacarpenter, and 1,556,895 more

yourusername: something coming soon, or whatever

comments:

ynsleftshoe: oscar in the likes before me again

hooklinesinker: girl same! and I got notifications on cococroissant: the struggle of making it here before pee ass tree vrom vrom is real

ynupdates: mother is cooking and eating for real

sabrinacarpenter: so excited for it!

justonechange: the bond between two girls scorned by a man is unbreakable breakmyback: sabrina is so me right now

likealovesong: my hears are about to be blessed again! thank you god for answering my prayers

liked by landonorris and 1,345 more

f1wagupdates: seems like a new wag may be entering the paddock, showcasing papaya!

mclaren driver, oscar piastri, has been spotted being touchy and affectionate with pop star, y/n l/n. this is not the first time the two have been spotted together.

comments:

vroomyroom: what the hell is lando doing in the likes of a wag updates page

norrizzz: he's so messy fr

user454: seriously what's wrong with you people, leave them alone!

justanichident: oscar's lucky he's good that polite cat smile because those hands do be wondering

breakmyback: I too am no better than a man (I'd be touching y/n's ass all the time if I could)

user334: ow! they're so cute together!

user331: power couple vibes

user564: ew, he can do so much better

user887: SHE can do much better

liked by hattiepiastri, nicolepiastri, yourusername and 1.345.221 more

oscarpiastri: great vacation, lots of sun

comments:

macmylarens: if bwoah was an instagram caption it would be tht

rockabye: who does bro think he's fooling with that soft launch

dropstoproll: like sir, we all know that's y/n l/n, now give us some good content

landonorris: you really poured your heart out with that caption mate

ynupdates: I spy with my little eye, y/n in the likes

justonechange: so ... he's not that bad

user423: I get y/n, he's hot

liked by sabrinacarpenter, oscarpiastri, landonorris and 1.978.645 more

yourusername: Summer When Everybody Ever Thought, Love In Knowledge Existed, Yellow Orchids Unidentified

see you on august 19th ;)

comments:

ynupdates: NEW ALBUM ALERT!!!

breakmyback: I don't care if a man driving in circles for living inspired it, new music is coming!

sabrinacarpenter: that caption triggered my dyslexia

justonechange: no because same user332: I thought I was the only one!

dotsaredotting: hear me out, the aesthethic of this album is orange (so far), and there's a car, mclaren F1 team is orange ("papaya" or wtv), oscar piastri drives for mclaren, oscar is soft launching, they wore spotted together = they're dating

crazyonce: this is so delulu it may be trululu

ynupdates: in case you thought you were crazy for not getting the caption, every words starts with a capital latters and all the letters together spell SWEET LIKE YOU which is either a song on the album or the name of the album

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, hattiepiastri, and 2.021.331 more

yourusername: the way sun shines over beaches, the first taste of summer peaches, yellowed pages of a favorite book it may all be sweet but not sweet like you.

my new album, sweet like you, is now available to stream. this is such a special album for me which is why it's dedicated to such a special person. I love you, Osc, keep on being sweet.

comments have been turned off for this post

liked by yourusername, sabrinacarpenter, landonorris and 1.987.554 more

oscarpiastri: every day I'm grateful I get to have you. you're the sun of my morning, the stars of my evening, the breath of my lungs and the song of my heart. I love you, y/n.

comments:

landonorris: wow, you actually poured your heart out with this one

sabrinacarpenter: she was mine first car boy, remember that

hattiepiastri: I hope you know how much cooler than you your girlfriend is

yourusername: love you too, my sweet boy <3

comments have been limited on this post

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harmoonix · 26 days ago

Text

☾ Like a prayer ☽

𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫/𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐭!* + 𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐬

Note: Take this with caution! These placements are not bad. These are just some 'side things' that come within having such placements. Every placement has a dark trait, and sometimes, the nature of astrology can be negative as well as positive. Thanks for reading 🤎

• Venus x Moon harsh aspects (square, opposition, conjuction). When the Moon is in harsh aspects with Venus, the native will have a hard time telling what's on their heart. They can have the feeling of a 'heavy heart'. The native may be embarrassed or shy to tell their feelings

• Saturn x Moon harsh aspects (square, opposition, conjuction). These aspects can often feel very insecure about their feelings. They can get hurt fast, but mostly, these aspects can indicate being cold, having a hard time opening yourself, being more like a loner rather than with people

• Lilith in Gemini/3rd house, these placements often indicate gossiping and talking bad upon others. Cursing a lot, etc. The native may be savage in their communication, and their words can hurt

• Ascendant x Sun/Venus/Neptune aspects. With these placements, the native may have trouble with loving himself and may cause a lack of self-love from their side. Before having a relationship, you should always check up on yourself first. You can't love others if you don't love yourself

• Venus in the 5th/7th or 8th house. I did a 'mini post' about Venus in those houses, but in short, the native could've had more partners in their romantic past. If you're not interested in your lovers' past romantic life with other people, I think this won't affect you

• Uranus in the 7th house is also found within people who happen to have more lovers in their life. Also, dating or having casual one night stands

• Lilith x Moon aspects (all aspects). The native can have issues with their mother or their feminine energy. May feel like the black sheep or an outcast due to this. They may keep family things private in their life

• Pluto or Saturn in their 4th or 5th house could've indicated being abused as a child or having their childhood taken away from them. A person with a strong inner child

• Scorpio Saturn, the native with this specific Saturn placement can struggle with their intimacy. Can be insecure over some parts of their body and might overthink what the other person thinks about them in bed. Engaging in sexual activities can be chaotic but also beautiful

• Venus in Fire signs, the native can be either extremely loyal either extremely catchy with your feelings. Tends to flirt quite a lot. And may have multiple crushes

• Saturn in the 2h/6th/10th house or Saturn in Earth signs. The native can be an workaholic, they work over the program to gain more money/salary. This can also result as then coming exhausted from work and most times being away from home

• Lilith x Jupiter aspects (all aspects), the native with these aspects can crave more in bed. They're not happy if they're not satisfied. And they may struggle with obsession over sexual things

• Neptune in the 5th or 8th house, the native may have addictions related to 18+ content which can be a turn off for many. Nonetheless Neptune can also have a strong sexual energy

• Sun in the 7th or 10th house, the native might receive a lot of compliments. Sweet personality and a very charming aura, they like attention

• Scorpio/Capricorn/Cancer Venus, the native might be into dating older people, not very old but there can be some age gap between them. They might get successful relationships in their adulthood yesrs

• Pisces Venus and Moon, these natives are mostly ending up with a lot of scenarios in their head after an argument. They need lots of resurance from their partners

• Venus in the 8th / 12th house, the native could've had several admires, which he wanted to keep hidden. Secrets around their relationship

• Water Dominant: The native may be too clingy or very fast to respond to your feelings/they mirror the type of love you give them

• Pluto x Mercury aspects (all): The native will always have the last word in arguments. 'Truth hurts' archetype. They can use words to manipulate after their own will

• Sun x Jupiter in harsh aspects, the natives ego can be fragile, yet they tend to have a 'superiority complex' they may think they're better than others

• Aphrodite (1388) in the 2nd/5th/8th houses, the native may want to be satisfied physically. They may use their sexual energy to make themselves feel better

• Aphrodite x Ascendant/MC Aspects (all): People may find their beauty intriguing. Approachable with a soft/feminine/calm energy by the public (to both genders) tender personality

• Juno in Aries/Cancer/Scorpio may give a possessive and jealous spouse. If the spouse has low self-esteem, these can be intense

• Pluto in the 9th house, 9th house can indicate how your spouse family might see you. With Pluto here, they may see you as a powerful person to marry their son/daughter

• Pluto/Lilith/Saturn in the 11th house, the native could've had lots of issues with betrayal in their life. People in general weren't so loyal to them

• Sun in the 5th house, the native may feel to act more like a child when they are around your presence or if they feel safe with you

• Aries/Mars over their 4th house can indicate that they were raised in a household with abusive or angry family members, also can posses angry issues

• 2nd house ruler in the 8th house, they may be stingy with their money, may keep them like a secret behind you

• 2nd house ruler in the 10th house, the native may love money over anything. Money over love is their way to go

• Saturn in the 12th house can drain the native a lot. They may feel tired 24/7, get irritated fast, and becomes melancholic easily

• Leo Saturn, they can struggle with favoritism. Can be related to family trauma/ just they love picking on things to cause conflicts

• Scorpio or Lilth in the 4th house/Cancer, raised in a household where their family could have been manipulators, liars, toxic, etc

• Juno aspecting Jupiter can grant the native with fulfilments in their relationship, in harsh aspects you don't feel satisfied enough

• Mars in the 7th house can cause relationship arguments (which are normal for every relationship), but with Mars, these can he quite intense

• Having Retrogade planets like Venus in the 7th house can indicate your exes coming back in your life more than usual (these are mostly just things you need to finish, as an little advice, exes don't always come back to be together with you again, but you don't need to get back with them even if they come back in your life lol)

𝐈𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐝𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐫, 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫

If you enjoyed this, let me know so I can make a second part 😊 🥰

Have a good day, everyone 🥰🥰

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luckyvickylover · 20 days ago

Text

Lucky Vicky in Paris

Male Reader x Jang Wonyoung

Tags : smut, anal, creampie, oral, first person

3.5K words.

This is my first work, hope you like it! Please, let me know what you think of it. Thanks for reading.

My Paris Fashion Week adventure started with a dream: seeing Jang Wonyoung in person. To me, she's more than a celebrity—my admiration for her runs very deep. When I discovered she would be there, I rushed to book a train from Milan to Paris. My heart pounded with excitement.

I reach the city in the late afternoon. The atmosphere buzzes. Paris shines with lights, music, and fashion, yet my focus is singular. Sleep eludes me. By dawn, I'm at the spot, waiting. The sky remains dark and the air is icy. Yet, I'm unfazed. With camera in hand, I'm ready to capture her.

Time drags on. The sun rises and the crowd thickens. I hold my spot; it feels like a slice of heaven. Then, in the early afternoon, the excitement peaks. Wonyoung arrives. Her smile and grace radiate a quality reminiscent of another realm. My heart races as I start snapping photos, eager to capture every moment.

Adrenaline takes over, and before I even know it, I scream "Jang Wonyoung, I love you!"

I expect the chaos to drown out my voice, but she stops. She turns around, looks for me with his gaze... and then she notices me. It's like a dream. With a decisive step, she approaches the barriers near me. The world seems to stop.

"What's your name?" she asks me in a sweet and curious voice.

I tell her my name, my voice trembling with emotion, but she replies with a faint smile.

"On social media, otherwise how can I find the photos that you took of me?"

I struggle to breathe. Yet, with trembling hands, I show her my Instagram. She moves closer. Then, he looks into my eyes for a moment. With a knowing smile, she whispers:

"Got plans tonight? Here's an idea: post-midnight, my hotel. Ask for me. Simple."

Before I can answer, she walks away. I'm left, speechless, as the crowd erupts in screams and flashes. I can't believe what happened. And now... all that remains is to wait for midnight.

…

After that unusual meeting, the day flew by in a blend of emotion and anxiety. But there was an issue: she didn't tell me where she was staying. Still, I wasn't ready to give up. I turned to Twitter and began my search. Thankfully, Wonyoung's fans are sharp. I found photos of her leaving a hotel. By piecing together the details, I discovered her location.

At midnight, my heart racing, I reach the hotel. It's grand, elegant, and a bit daunting. Inside, I try to appear calm, despite sweaty hands and weak legs. I walk to the desk and, hesitantly, I ask:

"There should be a room booked in the name of Jang Wonyoung. Could you contact the room and say I asked about her?"

The receptionist raises an eyebrow but asks no questions. After a moment that seems eternal, he looks at me and says "Room 915, go upstairs."

I can't believe it. I step into the elevator, heart racing. The floor numbers change slowly. My mind is chaotic. Finally, I reach the door. The corridor is quiet, lights dim. Almost breathless, I knock.

The door opens, and there she is, right in front of me. She looks beautiful, even in her simple and relaxed attire. She smiles at me with a hint of complicity, as if everything were perfectly normal.

…

"Come in," she says in a calm voice, gesturing for me to remove my jacket. I do so without thinking, feeling out of place in this strange situation.

"Would you like some tea?" she asks, then glides to the corner with the kettle.

"Yes, with pleasure," I reply, my voice trembling as I settle into an armchair by the table. I'm not sure why I'm here or how I got to this point. I watch her make tea, finding elegance in every move.

She hands me a steaming cup. I thank her and take it, hiding my flickering hands. She sits across from me, her smile soft and warm.

"Let's start with something simple," she says. "Tell me about yourself. What do you do in life?"

I try to answer, but my words sound robotic. Choked with emotion, I often pause to breathe. She listens, sometimes smiling or nodding, trying to comfort me.

As time passes strangely, I begin to wonder: what's going on?

I gather my courage. I ask her, in a faint voice, "Why am I here?"

She smiles, a mysterious grin as if she knows everything. She leans in, her gaze cutting through me.

"Why, you ask?" she replies. "Your screams were so loud, I couldn't ignore them. They struck me. I wondered: who is this guy? Is he always this passionate?"

Her words confuse and frighten me. I try to respond and find meaning, but she interrupts.

"I wanted to know if you're like that... on every occasion."

I can't hold back the question: "In what sense on every occasion?"

She laughs, a soft, musical sound, and stands up. She looks down at me, her expression unreadable.

"Must I explain everything to you?"

…

Then, with a slow and deliberate gesture, she lets her silk robe slip.

I'm left without words. Thoughts vanish, leaving room for what I see. She is there, completely naked. At that instant, she appears taller, almost daunting. Her presence is striking.

I freeze, unable to look away. The sight before me blends beauty, strength, and vulnerability. Words fail to capture it. I feel tiny and unworthy, yet also privileged to be in his presence.

She takes a step closer, tilting her head slightly.

"Now, tell me," she whispers, her voice a faint murmur. "You really are so passionate... always?"

I'm completely stuck. I can't move at all. She's right in front of me, beautiful and out of reach, yet so real. Meanwhile, a storm of thoughts and uncontrollable emotions fills my head.

In a faint, nearly broken voice, I finally managed to say:

"I... I'm not so convinced that I want to do it."

She looks at me, a bit surprised, tilting her head as if to understand more. I continue, trying to organize my thoughts.

"I love you. Every day, I dream of our life together. I imagine perfect moments and a future with you. But now, being so close to you... I see I'm not ready."

My voice falters. I look down, unable to meet her intense gaze. I feel vulnerable, not in a physical sense, but in an emotional one. All my insecurities seem to be laid bare.

…

A long silence follows. I think she'll walk away, be disappointed, or say something to break our fragile bond. Instead, she surprises me by coming closer. She kneels down to my level and, with unexpected kindness, lifts my chin with two fingers.

"It's okay," he says with a gentle, understanding smile. "Don't feel guilty. I admire your courage to be honest."

She looks at me and smiles sweetly, as if understanding something I can't yet express. Then, she approaches slowly and places her warm, reassuring hand on mine.

"But let me guide you," she says in a soft, almost whispered voice.

Before I can reply, she makes me stand up with a gentle, firm nudge. Her closeness is striking, and her scent, both delicate and intoxicating, fills the air. My thoughts are jumbled, yet I can't look away.

She carefully starts to unbutton my shirt. Her fingers graze my skin, causing a shiver. Each move is intentional and unhurried, giving me time to adjust.

She moves to my waistband and looks up at me. Her eyes are full of desire. She then says with sincerity, "I want you."

Her voice is calm yet firm, and her words have a profound impact on me. It's as if she echoed what I couldn't say. My mind wants to resist, but my heart and body have decided.

She beckons me to the bed with a soft but resolute gesture. I feel overwhelmed but at ease. It's as if her every move calms me. Her hands move with a deliberate slowness, as if time has stopped. I let go of my hesitation.

When our lips touch, we feel desire, passion, and something deeper I can't name. Every gesture and glance hint at a deeper connection. It's something I've never experienced before.

Her fingers glide down my spine, blending electricity with calm. In that moment, it's just us. Pure intimacy wipes away all barriers.

…

My penis is already completely erect. She takes it in her hands, stroking it fast, without hesitation and without a moment to breathe. "You like it, don't you?" I can't help but nod. Then she sees I'm already about to cum.

"No, you can't cum so soon. I want something in return first."

She lies down, opens her legs, and invites me between her thighs. I'm wary, but I get closer. I lick her belly, then kiss her lips and caress her thighs. I hear her moaning with pleasure, which excites me and brings me closer to orgasm. However, when I try to insert a finger, she stops me, saying, "It's still early for this."

She comes towards me and lowers her head on my penis, starting to lick the tip. She kisses it along its entire length. With her fingers, she caresses my balls. Then, suddenly, she takes it all in her mouth. My excitement is too much, and I don't last even a moment.

As soon as she deepthroats, I cum, making her swallow. Surprisingly, she doesn't hold back. Instead, she stays there a bit longer, then pulls up, licks her lips, and kisses me.

She looks at me with her beautiful eyes. "You didn't last long, but it was delicious. Let's try to do better from now on."

I don't know if she's joking, but her words and face only excite me more. I immediately have a new erection.

…

She takes a condom from the bedside table, then she asks if I need help putting it on. I certainly can't refuse.

She opens it, puts it on her lips, and slides it onto my cock, once again taking it entirely in her mouth.

I gently touch her thighs again and ask if she's ready. She nods. Then, I move closer to her on the bed and bring myself near her.

I rub my cock between her lips to lubricate it with her juices. She's already soaked. She urges, "Come on, I want to feel you." Don't tell me twice. I penetrate her hard, my balls slamming against her body. Then, I start to push faster.

She's tight but welcoming, and she had no problem taking my cock. "Yes! Yes! Let me feel it more!" Her screams and moans excite me more and more. The feel of her skin rubbing against mine and my sweat dripping onto her belly drives me closer. But I don't want this to end. I want her to enjoy it too. So, I slow down and start teasing her with my fingers.

I gently touch her nipples, then squeeze them, making her scream each time. I feel her getting wetter. She urges me on, "Yes! Keep it up! I want you!" I speed up. With one hand, I squeeze her ass cheek and lean down to kiss her neck.

"I'm coming!" Her orgasm shakes her, tightening around me. After a few seconds, I cum too, and lie on her, remaining still inside.

…

She kisses my neck and ears. Then, she says, "Show me the same spirit as this afternoon." My body ignites again. Soon, I'm erect and ready to continue after changing the condom.

I want to take her from behind. This time, I don't ask. I lift her up and turn her prone on the bed, with her face in the pillow, her ankles crossed, and her thighs squeezed tight.

I'm deep inside her, feeling her tighten. I start pressing her head with one hand; she moans and breathes fast. My balls hit her pussy, dripping even more. Meanwhile, with the other hand, I slap her butt.

She lifts her head. "Stop for a moment," she says. Frightened I'd done something wrong, I freeze, as if petrified. She sits up, freeing herself from my weight. "You don't have any diseases, right? I'm on the pill and today is safe. So, why not take off your hood?"

I hesitate, then she approaches and removes it. "I want to feel you cumming inside me," she says, bending over. I don't need more encouragement. I penetrate her again, but more gently this time. Then, I touch her breasts, teasing her nipples once more.

They are very sensitive. Every time I squeeze them, she moans, almost screaming, with a mix of pain and pleasure. I kiss her whole back. I put a finger in her mouth. With my other hand, I stimulate her clitoris. "Why not add two fingers?" she suggests. I agree, sliding them in with my penis. It gets tighter, and she seems to enjoy it even more.

Quickly, my orgasm builds up again. I slow down, wanting her to cum too. I caress her thighs, sliding my fingers up and down from her pubis. I straighten her back to kiss her and take a breast in my mouth.

I sense she is close. Her moans grow louder. I speed up again, penetrating her with all my force. Her orgasm shakes her, and I fill her with my seed. It petrifies her for a moment; then she falls forward onto the bed.

…

I have already cum three times. My erection won't go down. The desire is so strong it seems it can go on forever.

I want to savor her breasts. I want to taste her sweat and her intoxicating scent. I part her legs again, this time focusing not on her pussy but on her backside. Her asshole is beautiful and tight, igniting my desire to fuck it.

I asked her, "Have you ever used the other hole?" She replied, "No, I've always been too scared." I said, "Tonight is the night to face your fears."

So, I go straight with the tip to caress her puckered asshole. I try to push in, using only my cum and juices from her vagina as lube.

At first, I only feel pain. Then, her hands grip my hips, nails digging in. I finally get the tip in. It seems the hardest part is over.

We both moan in pleasure. Yet, I crave more. I lower my arms, pull her close, pressing her body against mine, feeling the warmth of her body and kissing her. Now, I can penetrate her halfway. I kiss, then bite her lips and neck.

Her cries of pain and moans of pleasure excite me. I penetrate her with more and more vehemence, as if I were a dog.

Yes, I'm a dog and she's my owner. I've always pictured our relationship this way. She's a princess, and I'm just common. I want her to command me. I'll be happy only if I get attention and compliments from her.

She, the perfect mistress, felt the same. So, she yelled, "Yes! Yes! I love how you fuck my ass. Do it harder! I want to feel you inside me. I want our bodies to merge into one."

Desire intensifies with each thrust. I plunge deeper, fully sheathed. Her cries crescendo as pleasure builds. We climax in unison, her quivering body amplifying my own release.

I cum copiously in her ass, with my penis coming out with a sound like a jar uncorking.

As I withdraw, spent and softening, Wonyoung collapses onto the mattress. Exhausted, we lie still, catching our breath in the aftermath.

…

I look at the clock: it's four in the morning. The room is in a muffled half-light. The only sound is her slow, regular breathing as she falls asleep.

She is lying on the bed, her hair tousled and an expression of quiet serenity on her face. She is exhausted. I briefly lose myself, trying to imprint the scene in my memory like a perfect painting.

I get up slowly, being careful not to make any noise. My movements are slow and measured, almost ceremonial. I enter the bathroom, turn on a dim light, and look at myself in the mirror. The face I see is different. It's marked by new emotions: ecstasy, confusion, and a creeping melancholy I can't stop.

I dress in silence, fighting with every gesture against the desire to stay there forever. But I know I can't. She is now fast asleep. For a moment, it seems surreal to be here, in her room, in her life, even if only for one night.

I step outside, closing the door slowly. I hold my breath, fearing noise might ruin something precious. In the hallway, my heart feels heavy. It's as if I'm leaving a part of myself behind. Yet, I keep walking, pushing away emotions that want to keep me there.

---

On the same day as my return flight, Paris fades away. So does the magic that had surrounded me for those few hours. In the following days, I feel like I'm in a dream. I can't stop thinking about our time together. Her looks, words, and every moment matter. Now, nothing else seems important. Everything feels empty and small.

After about a week, I pick up the photos I took of her during Fashion Week. With a strange calm, I start working on them, taking care of every detail as if they were a work of art. When I'm satisfied, I post them on Instagram. Likes and comments come fast, but they don't distract me. I'm caught between reality and her memory.

A few days later, something unexpected happens. My phone buzzes. It's a message request. The sender? A profile that seems like a bot, with an anonymous name. For a moment, I think of ignoring it or eliminating it, but out of curiosity, I open it.

My heart stops. There is a photo: a selfie taken that night. Wonyoung and I, our faces close, the smiles complicit and disarmed. It's amazing to think that she did it without me realizing it.

Under the photo, a message:

"Hey, when do you want to meet me again?"

I seem to hear her voice as I read those words. A smile forms on my lips, and for the first time in days, the emptiness I feel inside begins to fill.

#kpop smut #wonyoung smut #ive smut #kpop fanfic #male reader #male reader smut #first person smut

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theonottsbxtch · 7 days ago

Text

FOREVER AND ALWAYS | MV1

an: military au go reeeee, my friend is currently talking to a marine so it makes this funnier, anyway this is a request and be prepared for how much im about to post, im posting all my wips so i can start a new

wc: 3.8k

THE LAST MORNING MAX spent in town was unseasonably warm for late September, but she still wore his old hoodie over her dress. It swallowed her, the cuffs rolled up clumsily so her fingers could peek through. Max liked seeing her in it; she made it look softer than it ever felt to him. They sat on the hood of his truck by the edge of the lake, the same spot they always went to when something big needed to be said.

“You’ll write, right?” she asked, her voice steadier than the fingers twisting the hem of his sleeve.

Max didn’t answer right away. He hated promises. He hated making them and breaking them even more. But he wasn’t going to break this one. “Every day,” he said, his voice a little rough. “I mean it, okay? You’ll be sick of me by Christmas.”

“I could never,” she said, and the words felt too small for how much she meant them.

The sun caught in her hair, and Max felt the ache of leaving settle deeper in his chest. He should’ve been relieved—one last night in this town, in that house—but all he could think about was how hard it was going to be to drive away from her in the morning.

“I’ll write back every time,” she promised, her eyes locked on his like she could hold him here through sheer willpower. “Don’t you dare stop.”

“I won’t.”

It was the closest thing to forever they’d ever said to each other, and Max wanted to believe it could be.

He didn’t sleep much that night. Max stayed parked outside her house long after walking her to the door, watching the glow of her bedroom light until it finally went dark. He told himself he’d leave when she was asleep, but his hands stayed glued to the steering wheel, his heart beating louder than the crickets outside.

Morning came too fast. He stood on her porch in his pressed uniform, his duffel slung over his shoulder. Her dad answered the door, grunted something about “too early for this,” and disappeared back into the house. Max heard her footsteps upstairs, quick and light, and then there she was, rushing down to meet him, already wearing a smile he didn’t deserve.

“You’re really doing it,” she said, her voice tight with something caught between pride and fear.

“I am.”

She stepped closer, her fingers brushing the crisp fabric of his sleeve. “You’re going to be okay, right?”

Max didn’t know how to answer that. He could handle the yelling, the rules, the miles of running. But leaving her? That felt like the first real battle.

“You’re the toughest guy I know,” she added softly, filling the silence.

“Tough’s not the same as okay,” he admitted, his voice low.

“Then I’ll be okay for both of us.”

The words hit him harder than he expected, wrapping around something fragile in his chest. He leaned down and kissed her, quick and desperate, like he could steal a little of her steadiness to take with him.

When they finally broke apart, she laughed softly, her forehead still resting against his. “You’re coming back, Max. Don’t forget that.”

“I won’t,” he said.

He didn’t know if it was a promise or a prayer.

The bus station was quiet that early in the morning, just a couple of strangers milling around with their heads down and coffee in hand. Max stood off to the side with her, his duffel at his feet and his hands shoved deep into his pockets to keep from grabbing hers. She said she couldn’t come, but watching him walk back to the truck made her call in sick for work and follow him in.

“You should go sit,” he said, nodding toward the bench near the car park.

She gave him a look, one eyebrow raised in challenge. “I’m not leaving this spot until you’re on that bus.”

A faint smile tugged at his lips. Of course she wouldn’t. She was stubborn like that, always had been. He loved her for it, even if it made saying goodbye harder.

The bus pulled up, its brakes hissing as it rolled to a stop. Max felt the weight of the moment settle on his shoulders, heavier than the duffel. This was it.

He turned to her, unsure of what to say. Every word that came to mind felt too big or too small.

“Write me first,” she said, breaking the silence. Her voice was soft, but her eyes burned with determination. “As soon as you get there. Don’t wait for me to start.”

“I will,” he said, nodding. “Every day, remember?”

She smiled at that, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him, holding on so tightly it felt like she was trying to anchor him there.

He let himself hold her back, burying his face in her hair for just a moment. He wasn’t going to cry. He wouldn’t let himself.

“I’ll see you after training,” she whispered against his chest, her voice shaking just a little. “I’ll be there, Max.”

He pulled back, cupping her face in his hands. “You promise?”

“I promise.”

The driver called for boarding, and Max grabbed his bag. He didn’t look back as he stepped onto the bus. He couldn’t. If he did, he might not get on at all.

But as the bus pulled away, he glanced out the window. She was still standing there, exactly where he left her, her hand raised in a wave he couldn’t return.

He pressed his forehead against the glass, the weight of her promise settling in his chest. She would be there. He had to believe it.

Training was relentless.

The early mornings were the worst—before the sun even thought about rising, before his body remembered how to move. They ran until their legs felt like they’d snap beneath them, did push-ups until their arms gave out, and marched under the weight of packs that felt heavier with every mile. The shouting never stopped, every mistake earning a punishment meant to break them down and rebuild them into something sharper, stronger.

But it was nothing compared to what Max had already endured.

At home, the yelling was never meant to make him stronger. The bruises weren’t badges of discipline—they were reminders of how small he was made to feel. Every time he hit the ground during training, his drill sergeant barking at him to get up, Max thought of how often he’d done the same thing in that house. He got up then, and he got up now.

The other guys complained at night, lying on their bunks and licking their wounds, but Max didn’t join in. They didn’t know how lucky they were—how much easier it was to run ten miles when there wasn’t a door slamming behind you or fists flying to match.

And then there were the letters.

Her first one came the day after he arrived, folded neatly into an envelope with her handwriting scrawled across the front. The sight of it made his chest ache, and he didn’t even wait to get back to the barracks to read it.

Hey, tough guy. I hope this gets to you quick. Are they making you run as much as I think they are? Do you miss me? I miss you. It’s been one day and this town already feels different without you. Keep writing, okay? I’ll keep writing too. Just don’t let them make you forget who you are, Max. I love you.

The letters became his lifeline. Every night, after lights-out, he’d sit on the edge of his bunk with a flashlight and write her back. He told her about the blisters on his feet, the meals that barely qualified as food, the drill sergeant who could make a grown man cry with a single word. But he also told her how he was getting stronger, faster, better—how he thought about her every time things got too hard.

She didn’t just write about missing him. Her letters were full of details—what their friends were up to, how the leaves were starting to change by the lake, what songs were playing on the radio. She made him feel like he wasn’t missing everything. Like she was keeping his place for him.

The days blurred together after a while, a constant cycle of exhaustion and repetition. But then, one morning, everything felt different.

It was the last day of training.

Max stood in formation with the others, the sun rising behind them as their drill sergeant paced in front of the line. They’d been through hell together—guys who had started as strangers now felt like brothers. But Max wasn’t thinking about them.

He was thinking about her.

He scanned the crowd of families waiting just beyond the training field, his heart pounding harder than it ever had during a run. She had said she’d be here. She promised.

And then he saw her.

She was standing near the back, craning her neck to see over the heads of taller people in front of her. When their eyes met, she smiled so brightly that for a second, everything else—the noise, the exhaustion, the fear—fell away.

Max’s throat tightened, but he forced himself to focus. One last task. One last push. He would finish this, and then he’d go to her.

And this time, he wouldn’t have to leave too soon.

Max’s heart hammered as the ceremony came to a close. The drill sergeant dismissed them with a sharp bark, and the tension that had held the recruits in place finally broke. Families surged forward, cheers and hugs filling the air. Max stood frozen for a moment, scanning the crowd again until he saw her pushing through the mass of people, her face a mix of determination and joy.

She was exactly how he remembered her, but somehow even better. Her hair bounced as she hurried toward him, and the familiar tilt of her smile made his chest ache. And yet, as soon as she stopped a few feet in front of him, she planted her hands on her hips like she had all the time in the world.

“Well, well,” she said, eyes sparkling with mischief. “Hey there, tough guy.”

Max swallowed hard, trying to keep his composure. But her teasing grin made the corner of his mouth twitch, threatening to break into a smile he wasn’t supposed to give just yet.

From behind her, one of his barrack mates, Danny came up and watched her as she eyed up Max. When she noticed him, he nodded at her. “Ma’am.”

She snorted, shaking her head. “Don’t ‘ma’am’ me, I’m only young.” She stepped closer, looking at Max once more, her expression shifting to exaggerated awe. “That’s a whole lot of muscles you’ve got there now. What’ve they been feeding you?”

Max tried not to laugh, but he couldn’t stop his lips from curving upward.

“You’re not supposed to touch the recruits until they’ve been tapped out,” Danny said, his voice low, playful.

She raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed by Max’s attempt at staying serious. “Is that so? Guess I’ll have to keep my hands to myself for a minute longer, huh?”

He held her gaze, the tension building between them until it was almost unbearable. She took another step forward, her smile softening into something sweeter, something he’d missed so much it hurt.

“Max,” she said quietly, her voice just loud enough for him to hear over the noise around them.

And then, finally, she reached out and tapped his shoulder.

That was all it took. Max didn’t hesitate—he dropped his duffel to the ground and swept her into his arms, lifting her clean off the ground. She laughed, but it broke halfway through, and then she was crying, her face buried in his shoulder.

“I missed you,” she said, her voice muffled against his uniform.

Max held her tighter, his eyes stinging as he pressed his cheek against her hair. “I missed you too,” he murmured, his voice thick.

For a moment, neither of them moved. She clung to him like she was afraid he might disappear, and Max let himself soak in the feel of her in his arms—the warmth, the softness, the familiarity he’d craved every single day he was gone.

When she finally pulled back, her hands stayed on his shoulders, her fingers brushing against the hard muscle beneath his uniform. She tilted her head, a teasing smile breaking through her tears. “Seriously, Max. What’s with these muscles? You didn’t look like this when you left.”

He chuckled, the sound low and rough, and shook his head. “Had to give you something to brag about, didn’t I?”

She laughed, swiping at her cheeks with the sleeve of her sweater. “Oh, I’m definitely bragging. You’re not going anywhere without me showing you off first.”

“Not going anywhere without you at all,” Max said softly.

Her smile faltered for just a second, her eyes filling again. “Good,” she whispered. “Because I’m not letting you go.”

He cupped her face gently, leaning in until their foreheads touched. “You’re stuck with me now.”

“Always,” she said, and for the first time in months, Max felt like he was finally home.

As they were about to kiss, a cough disrupted them. Danny. “Are you done?”

“Leave me alone Danny, I’ve seen enough of you.” Max laughed, pulling her in closer.

“I’m heading out, my girl’s at the car but I’ll see you soon, yeah?” Danny asked, taking off his hat and running his hand through it.

“Yeah you will. See you soon Dan.”

The desert heat was unrelenting, the sun beating down on Max and Danny as they sat outside their barracks during a rare moment of downtime. Max leaned against a wall, his cap pulled low over his eyes, but it wasn’t enough to shield him from Danny’s relentless teasing.

“You’ve been staring at that box for five minutes, man,” Danny said, smirking as he leaned back in his chair. “You sure you don’t want me to take it off your hands? I’d do a solid job proposing to her, you know.”

Max shot him a look, his jaw tightening, though there was no real heat behind it. “Touch it, and I’ll bury you in the sand.”

Danny snorted, tossing a rock lazily across the dusty ground. “Relax, lover boy. I’m just saying—you’ve had that ring for months. You’ve got the whole speech planned, don’t you? ‘I’ve loved you since we were kids, you’re my whole world,’ blah, blah, blah. Bet you even practiced in the mirror.”

Max rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help the faint smile tugging at his lips. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the small velvet box, flipping it open to reveal the simple but elegant ring inside. He didn’t need anything flashy—she wouldn’t want that. The ring was perfect: timeless, just like her.

“I don’t need a speech,” Max said quietly, running his thumb along the edge of the box. “She already knows. She’s known since before I left the first time.”

Danny’s teasing grin softened into something more genuine. “She’s a lucky girl, you know. Not everyone would stick around through all this.”

“She’s not sticking around,” Max corrected, his voice firm. “She’s living her life—uni, friends, everything she’s always wanted. She’s just...waiting for me to come back, too.”

Danny whistled low. “Well, when you put it like that, I guess you’re the lucky one.”

Max didn’t argue. He thought about her every day—her laugh, the way she scribbled little doodles in the corners of her letters, the photo she’d sent him of her sitting on the quad with her textbooks spread out around her. She looked happy, and that was what mattered most to him.

But God, he missed her.

“I’ll ask her when we’re off duty,” Max said, snapping the box shut and tucking it safely back into his pocket. “The next time I get to see her, I’m not waiting. I’m not wasting another minute.”

Danny grinned, tipping his chair back on two legs. “You’re gonna make me cry, man. I’m just glad I’ll be there to see it.”

“You’re not invited.”

“Like hell I’m not.”

They both laughed, the kind of laugh that felt rare in a place like this. For a moment, the heaviness of deployment lifted, replaced by something lighter—hope.

But when the laughter faded, Max’s mind drifted back to her. He pictured her sitting in a lecture hall, twirling a pen between her fingers, her hair catching the sunlight. She’d promised him that first day he left that she’d always be there waiting for him, and she had never broken that promise.

And soon—so soon—he’d finally get to make one to her.

The cab pulled up to her apartment building, a modest brick complex tucked onto a quiet street just off campus. Max stared out the window, his heart thundering in his chest. It didn’t matter that he’d seen her a year ago on leave or that they’d talked just last week on a grainy video call. Being here, knowing she was just a flight of stairs away, made it all feel brand new.

Danny’s words echoed in his head as he grabbed his bag and climbed out. Don’t mess this up, man. She’s been waiting long enough.

The door to her unit opened before he could even knock. There she was, framed in the doorway, wearing an oversized sweater and leggings, her hair falling loose around her shoulders. She broke into a smile so bright it felt like the sun had come out, and before he could say a word, she threw her arms around his neck.

“Max!” she breathed, holding onto him like she never wanted to let go.

He dropped his bag and wrapped her up, burying his face in her hair. She smelled like home, like everything he’d missed.

“Hey,” he said softly, his voice catching.

She pulled back just enough to look at him, her hands sliding to his shoulders. “You’re here. You’re actually here.”

“I’m here.”

She laughed, the sound a little shaky, and grabbed his hand, tugging him inside. “Come on, I made dinner. It’s probably cold by now, but I didn’t want to risk leaving the kitchen in case—”

She didn’t get to finish.

Max stopped dead in the small kitchen, his eyes scanning the space—the mismatched dishes on the counter, the vase of sunflowers he recognised from her letters, the magnets on the fridge holding up her class schedule and pictures of them together. It was perfect.

And suddenly, he couldn’t wait.

“This wasn’t how I planned it,” he muttered, mostly to himself.

“What?” She turned, confusion flickering in her eyes.

Max dropped to one knee right there in the middle of the kitchen, pulling the velvet box from his pocket. He saw her gasp, her hands flying to her mouth, but he was too focused to stop now.

“I wasn’t going to do it like this,” he said, the words tumbling out. “I had a whole plan—something big and romantic—but I don’t care about plans anymore. I just...I love you. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember, and I don’t want to wait another second to ask.” He opened the box, his hands steady despite the chaos in his chest. “Will you marry me?”

She froze, her wide eyes locked on his. The silence stretched, and Max felt a flicker of panic.

“So?” he said, his voice cracking slightly.

That broke her. She let out a choked laugh, tears spilling down her cheeks as she dropped to her knees in front of him. “I’m sorry! I’m just—yes! Of course, yes!”

Her arms went around his neck, and she kissed him fiercely, her tears wetting his face. Max held her close, the ring box forgotten on the floor as he kissed her back, pouring every bit of love and relief into the moment.

When they finally broke apart, she laughed through her tears, her fingers tracing the line of his jaw. “You really couldn’t wait, huh?”

“Not for this,” he said, his voice low and raw.

She smiled and kissed him again, slower this time, her hands sliding down to rest against his chest. Max stood, lifting her with him effortlessly, and set her on the edge of the counter.

“Max,” she murmured, her hands slipping beneath the collar of his shirt.

“Yeah?” he said, his forehead resting against hers.

“Welcome home.”

He smiled against her lips, capturing them in another kiss, and for the first time in what felt like forever, Max let himself feel it all—the love, the relief, the joy of knowing he was exactly where he was meant to be.

Dinner had been a blur, both of them too giddy and caught up in the moment to care that the food was lukewarm and hastily reheated. They laughed, talked, and stole kisses between bites, the kind of easy affection that felt like they’d never been apart.

Now, hours later, they were tangled together in her bed. The room was dark save for the soft glow of the streetlight filtering through the blinds. She lay draped across his chest, her fingers tracing lazy patterns on his skin, her eyes fixed on the ring now resting snugly on her finger.

“How are we going to do this?” she asked quietly, her voice thoughtful but tinged with uncertainty.

Max’s hand came up to stroke her back, his thumb brushing along her shoulder blade. He let out a soft sigh. “I leave in three months.”

She stilled for a moment, her finger pausing mid-trace.

“But,” he added, his voice warm and steady, “until then, we live the happy life. All of it. You, me, late-night takeout, bad movies, everything.”

She tilted her head up to look at him, her brow furrowing slightly. “Three months isn’t that long, Max. And I’m still at uni. I’ve got two more years. How—”

“We’ve made it work for two years while I’m away,” he interrupted gently, cupping her cheek with one hand. “We can do two more. You’ve been with me through everything—every deployment, every letter, every call. This won’t be any different. Except now,” he added, his lips quirking into a small smile, “you’ll be my fiancée.”

Her lips trembled, and she leaned up to kiss him, slow and deliberate, her hand slipping over his to hold it against her cheek. When she finally pulled back, her eyes shone with determination.

“You’re really bad at letting me be dramatic, you know that?” she teased softly.

“Someone’s gotta keep you in check,” he said with a smirk.

She laughed quietly, settling back against his chest, and Max tightened his arms around her. They lay there in silence for a while, her fingers once again toying with the ring as if she couldn’t quite believe it was real.

He was engaged.

He was happy.

And he was going to marry the love of his life.

the end.

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