#every time i've turned around this week . a Situation occurs

[ratcandy]

anyway does anyone want to get over here and drop a huge anvil on my head

[readsaboutreid]

Aaaa!!! Lavender roses is so fucking sweet!!!

Absolutely adorable!

If I could request something where the reader works at the BAU, but in like the last week the reader has cone in with allergy symptoms, red itchy eyes and nose. And she's just feeling terrible, eventually Gideon or Hotch dismisses her fot a couple days, and Spencer's been worried as hell and goes to check up on her but it turns out she was given a cat by her friend, (the cat got dumped and the friend caught take care of it) but the reader is allergic but doesn't wanna give up the cat, sorta "I'll get used to it, it sucks nie but he's just a baby!!!" Vibes?

tysm! and Absolutely! I've lived this scenario out myself in slightly different settings so I can easily put myself into the situation lol I think one may be a bit shorter though if that's oki?

contains: fluff, concerned Spencer, kitties!, bau!reader

"Achoo!" Spencer heard the sneeze from the desk adjacent to his, the sixth sneeze he's heard in the past half hour. He looked over to (Y/N), who was sitting at her desk with a box of tissues she had opened just that morning, already now half empty.

"You, uh, you feeling okay, (Y/N)?" He tentatively asked her, his inner germaphobe screaming at the proximity he shared with her. Sure, she was very good about covering her nose and mouth each time she sneezed but the anxiety still raced through his veins, exacerbated by his concern for his friend's wellbeing.

"I'm fine, Spencer, nothing to worry about!" She attempted to sound chipper, but instead just sounded congested.

"You've sneezed 6 times in 28 minutes, 36 seconds! I'd say that's a little less than 'fine', if you ask me," he retorted, raising his eyebrows as he spoke.

"Well, it's a good thing you asked me, then, and not the other way around, isn't it?" She shot back with a light (but still congested) tone.

"Well if you ask me," interrupted the voice of Derek Morgan, loudly, "you're sick and you need to go home before we all end up sick."

"I'm not sick, it's just allergies, I swear—,"

"That's what people say in movies before big deadly disease outbreaks occur!" Penelope Garcia piped in from her spot leaning up against Morgan's desk.

"Well it's a good thing this is real life and not a movie, isn't it?" (Y/N) quipped before quickly reaching for a tissue before her next sneeze.

"Go home, (Y/L/N)," everyone's head turned as Hotch walked out of his office and called down to them. "You're sick and I don't need the entire team coming down with it. That's an order."

Defeated, (Y/N) sighed and gathered her things and left the bullpen.

Spencer walked out of the pharmacy with bags full of cold medicine, water bottles, Gatorade and Powerade (just in case she preferred one to the other), and underneath it all a container of warm chicken soup that he had made (he wasn't sure if it was any good, but he followed the recipe exactly as it was written so he hoped it was okay, at the very least). He knocked on (Y/N)'s door and nervously waited. He hoped he wasn't overstepping, it wasn't like they were dating or anything (although the two had been on one date about a month ago, the job getting in the way every time they'd try to arrange a second date, much to his chagrin).

The sound of the door unlocking pulled him out of his head and the door opened enough for (Y/N) to poke her head out, as if trying to keep him from seeing inside. "Oh, hey, Spencer! No, you little demon, shoo!"

"O-oh! Sorry," he began, "I was just gonna bring you some medicine and food but I can go if you're not feeling up to having anyone—"

"Oh god, no! I wasn't talking about you! I'm so sorry!" Her eyes widened in panic before she said, "here, why don't you come in and you'll see."

She opened the door a little wider and stepped back as he slid inside. And was immediately greeted with two small pairs of yellow eyes. "I, uh, I had a friend who found two kittens but couldn't afford to take them in." Her eyes were red and watery and she sniffled slightly. "Turns out I'm allergic to cats!"

"Oh! Do you need help finding someone to take them?" Spencer asked, recalling something Emily had said about maybe getting a cat. "Because Emily recently—"

"What?" She asked quickly. "Never! Why would I give them up?"

"Because you're clearly suffering?" He reasoned, a smile tugging at his lips at her (admittedly adorable) pout.

"I have an appointment with a doctor about allergy shots," she argued, "come on, you can't say you don't already love them!" She whined.

As they both began rubbing up against his legs he couldn't deny that maybe she had a point.

[taahko]

I just found your blog today can you please explain or point out a post that explains the MASH timeloop thing? I love the show but I've never heard anyone talk abt it that way before

oh yay hurray ive been waiting for an excuse to talk about this lmao sorry this is long

ok so basically maeve (my gf) and i started watching mash for the first time about a month ago and we started joking about it being like the characters were stuck in a time loop mostly because the same basic episode format is repeated over and over, because it's a sitcom from the 70s and the episodes arent meant to be watched en masse where you can start noticing all the little repetitions and plot holes and inconsistencies that naturally occur in longform tv

but then i started to pay attention to the dates being mentioned in the show - famously the korean war never technically ended, but american troops were involved in active on the ground fighting between 1950 and 1953, so the entire 11 seasons of mash have to be squeezed into that three year period. with 251 episodes occurring within 1,129 days, that gives every episode about 4.5 days of real time. so it works right? no time loop right? well wait a sec

for the first 5 seasons or so of mash they give very consistent dates about when things are happening. for example, bj arrives in korea in september of 1952, at the start of season 4. colonel potter arrives about a week after him, and talks about how he has 18 months left before his retirement. that gives us about 7 months for the shows final 7 seasons to take place in, meaning that by the episode 'point of view' in season 7 we should be around december of 1952. in that episode the pov character starts writing a letter home and in the corner he writes the date:

september of 1951. ok, could be that this episode isn't meant to take place in the regular timeline of the season - maybe for some reason its just like, a random flashback episode. but bj, charles, and potter are all present, even though none of them got to korea until 1952. now i KNOW that this is not like, the True Hidden Secret Lore of MASH, this is the writers realizing they were running out of road and turning back the clock a bit to accommodate for how long the show was running on. but play in my time loop space with me please

more talking points:

consistent jokes about time zones and how difficult it is to call the states because "our today is their yesterday but if you call them now it might not reach them until our tomorrow and by that point our yesterday will be their today"

hawkeye's increasing mania over the seasons and his conviction that the war will never end, comparing the camp to dante's inferno multiple times. maeve once pointed out that the closer hawkeye comes to realizing that he's trapped in a time loop the closer he gets to being institutionalized - and what does the series finale cold open onto ? hawkeye in a mental institution. the only way out is to lose yourself etc. sidenote frank also escaped the time loop by going insane and getting institutionalized

in a war for all seasons bj potter and charles are all present at the 1951 new years party as well as the 1952 new years party

there are three christmas episodes, two of which bj is present for even though he should only have spent one christmas in korea

details of people's families and lives shift around - sometimes potter's got multiple grandchildren, sometimes he only has one, sometimes its a girl, sometimes its a boy, sometimes she's 5, sometimes he's 2

we're not the first people to talk about this either, here's a good video compilation posted a couple yrs ago of time loop moments

overall ive been using the time loop thesis to add another layer to my mash viewing experience. it increases the already present sense of constant dread, anger, frustration, and disgust with their situation that the characters feel, plus it feels like a very poignant take on the united states' constant warmongering and violent existence. it really never ends, it just goes on an on. the future's been canceled by the war department- we're just gonna replay the past.

[seafoamreadings]

week of september 15th, 2024

these are written predominantly for the *rising* signs but they are also intuitively "channeled" enough that they should work for any dominant energy you have! (try your sun if you don't know rising, or more advanced readers can try moon, anywhere you have a stellium, etc and see what works best for you!)

aries: it's eclipse week! most of that will happen without too much effort from you or even conscious awareness of it, which is probably going to suit you just fine. what you may be more aware of is the mars-nodal square around the same time. consider getting out of the house a bit, going somewhere for a change of scenery but without feeling too out of your element; the house of a close friend, a favorite place in nature, etc.

taurus: romantic dalliances may turn tumultuous if not actually sour this week, especially if not all has been above board. friendships can also get a little bit, let's say, interesting. use your good will as a defense; a little good karma never hurts. do your best not to act with malicious intent in any matter.

gemini: something puts you in the public eye with this eclipse, or at least under the scrutiny of a supervisor or someone in a similar role. this brings about changes, which hopefully are for the best! if all your action has been in alignment with your best self and highest goals, this goes well. otherwise, perhaps not.

cancerians: any eclipse is a big deal for you as the lunar creature you are. the full moon ones perhaps even more so. this one is in watery pisces, and can have you reconsidering or being forced to change academic pursuits, philosophies, and even deeply held spiritual beliefs. above all, don't try to hide or deny truths. be flexible as new information arises or events occur.

leo: i've said it before and i'll say it again, leos feel eclipses every bit as much as cancerians. you don't get a free pass by not being lunar, because you are the epitome of solar and the eclipse doesn't happen without the sun! this eclipse focuses on your resources, the ones you've shored up for yourself or were born with as well as the ones inherited, married into, or otherwise shared.

virgo: relationships are often a core theme for you due to neptune and saturn both long in your sign. this week it's all amplified and brought to a head by the lunar eclipse in pisces - which of course requires input from the sun in your sign. you don't have to be scared of eclipses, but don't expect things to still be the same after this week.

libra: although the eclipse is not directly involving your sign, the nodes of the moon are along the aries-libra axis. and mars is squaring them from your fellow cardinal sign of cancer. you do not have to act on the urge to Do Something, but you do need to heed it, take note of what it is telling you and how much comes from yourself vs what comes from expectations or fears. actions can come later; this week focus on stillness, patience, and collecting information. the eclipse will churn up plenty of it.

scorpio: as a fixed sign, chaos and volatility may not be your favorite vibe. but mars is in a position such that you can actually manipulate the situation in your favor. for one thing, while most people are uneasy about the unknown because it is scary, it also is full of hope - things might go horribly awry but... they also might go better than you ever dreamed of.

sagittarius: current high mutability is a blessing and a curse. you're so mutable yourself that in many ways it fits. on the other hand, anything you try to make stable and sturdy this time is likely to refuse to cooperate. just be as flexible and flowing as you can.

capricorn: mars in cancer is making many aspects all week, amidst a powerful lunar eclipse period. this creates a tense environment for you and yet that tension can certainly lead to a constructive decision or act (or several). take action, but avoid impulsivity.

aquarius: prominently featured this week are your resources, money, inheritances, and the taboo. this is an important time to see the sacred in the mundane, and even in the profane! be open to positive change even if it seems that things are sort of in shambles. and don't spend any more money, time, or energy than you absolutely critically need to. this is not a time to be doing excessive favors.

pisces: a lunar eclipse in your sign is of course the first order of business. this occurs over your self/others axis, so relationships and your self image and self concept are in the spotlight. or it might feel more like being an ant under a magnifying glass? at any rate, this is not all there is. so get your rest where you can get it. don't skimp on sleep, nutrition, or self care.

[mangoshorthand]

If we're insisting on a romantic plotline for Five set up in Season 3

Right. I've heard people saying that Five/Lila was set up from season 3. That all their banter was deliberate foreshadowing or something. Now, I'm not sure if that's something the writers said or if that's just people seeing banter and affection and then attributing it to romance with the benefit of foresight. (If it's the former, then it was set up extremely poorly and frankly I refuse to believe that was the plan).

So, if Five had to have a romance plot in s4, (as Blackman decreed) here's how I would have set it up from season 3 in a way that would hopefully not have seemed too weird/forced.

One of the main gripes people had about that season is that most of the Sparrows were introduced and then discarded quickly, so the introduction of a plotline in which Five has a dynamic with one of them might have gone some way towards helping with this.

Now, I know that pairing Five with a Sparrow is an overused fanfic trope that rarely plays well and it's kinda weird for TWO Hargreeves boys to pair up with their multiverese sisters, BUT we are living under Blackman-law and thus Aidan Gallagher must swap spit with someone as soon as possible after turning 18 so this is the best I have:

I would change/develop (and potentially recast) Jayme. Be prepared...this is long:

Personality/Background

She feels out of place in her family.

She hates the limelight and doesn't cooperate in their branding activities.

Even with Reggie drugged up, life feels just as shitty (maybe shittier) to her being under Marcus' regime.

She's been done with the whole sparrow academy thing since she was a kid and is fascinated by the somethings and nothings of ordinary life.

She has a tendency to 'run away' and do her own thing. The Sparrows see her as unreliable and selfish.

She's cynical and feels no loyalty to the Sparrows as a whole, but she does have personal loyalty to Sloane and Alphonso.

You could put her in the wrong/younger body like Five, which could also be leveraged to put distance between herself and the other sparrows, but I also think that would be too convenient a plot contrivance to play well on screen.

I would keep Season 3's plot largely similar, just with the addition of a friendship between Five and Jayme:

S3 E1+2

Initial fight

Five and Jayme have the same initial fight scene with a little more prominence. It goes roughly the same way but perhaps add a bit more interaction/smack talk between them.

Bar Room conversion

At the point Five is first wearing his retirement outfit, a situation occurs that sees he and Jayme sitting at the bar of the hotel obsidian. There are few hard feelings about the fight. They grouse a little and rub along well even though Five clearly thinks she's a spy.

They get onto the kiss with hallucinatory Delores and Five's whole story comes out.

Jayme thinks the peace and quiet of the apocalypse sounds kind of nice (a notion he thoroughly disabuses her of).

She finds herself oddly touched by Five's devotion to getting home to his family, although she can't really fathom doing the same and finds it hilarious that he continues to insist that she must be a spy because they're her family.

Jayme tells a story of being a child and hiding in the mansion and playing house in a little den where nobody could find her. It was her escape. When she got older, she used to escape the mansion and hitchhike around the country for weeks at a time, enjoying a slice of ordinary life.

Five asks her why she came back every time instead of staying away. She can't answer him, but the answer is obvious to him: she too loves her family and doesn't really know how to live in the real world beyond her childhood 'playing house' in her den.

She strikes back that it takes one to know one, and Five concedes this.

But her story chimes with Five, and this is what catalyses his retirement/roadtrip arc with Klaus.

S3 E3-6

Five is pretty busy so they don't interact again until E7. BUT...

The bar room conversation with Five pricks Jayme's conscience and she throws herself into trying to find Marcus and protecting her family.

The confrontation with Harlan goes similarly except Jayme doesn't die and she is instead devastated about Alphonso's death, making her one of the fiercest advocates for killing Harlan. She's angry that Allison did it and she couldn't.

S3 E7

Before trapping the Kugelblitz in Christoper

Jayme lashes out at Five/all of them. Five correctly intuits that she's still upset about Alphoso and angry she didn't get to kill Harlan.

He comforts her in his uptight way and tells her from experience that killing for revenge/out of anger doesn't do any good, but resonates with her that not being able to save the people you love is a terrible, powerless feeling. He ends in saying that, for what it's worth, she shouldn't feel bad for wanting a normal life.

She hugs him tightly, surprising him. He hugs back stiffly but not unhappily.

Post-Kugel-trapping

Lila encourages Five onto the dancefloor, and Five in turn encourages Jayme onto the dancefloor.

They dance and laugh, and it's clear that they enjoy being dance partners. There are a few cross shots that show them liking one another's company. The last we see them together is somewhere around Lila telling Diego she's pregnant and Luther and Sloane's engagement:

Five and her are slumped on a couch. She said she's glad it's over and she's going to put all this behind her.

He asks what she's going to do. She says she wants to try to be a family without being a Sparrow and find her own way in the world. She's going to open a little coffee shop, grow her own food, find a simple life. What about him?

He tells her that his road trip with Klaus didn't go as planned, so he's planning to get nice convertible and go travelling for a while. She says that he'd better put her coffee shop on his route. He replies that he'd like that, and then leaves to find Viktor.

Right before the Kugel-splosion

She is in the conversation with Ben, Christopher and Fei and states her intent to leave and have nothing to do with their plans, but still wants to stay on good terms.

They reject her pretty roundly, and she leaves to go and find Sloane thinking she'll have more luck with her.

And then Christopher blows.

Halfway up the stairs, Jayme is unconscious as a result of some falling rubble, and the expanding Kugelblitz puts her and Ben in equal danger. Five instinctively saves Ben (because he will always choose his family) and Jayme dies in the mansion.

S3 E8-10 (After Jayme's Death)

Five feels guilty and more than a little resentful of Sparrow Ben's assholery given what happened.

His decision to give up the fight and accept the end of the world is somewhat influenced by his bitterness over this.

Otherwise, S3 continues unchanged.

S4 (nearly there)

I would have to rewrite the entire series, but here are the basics:

Jayme crops up again, unable to remember anything until marigold is reintroduced.

She and Five are the ones who get stuck in the subway (or similar plot device that allows years to pass for them while no time passes for Five's siblings). They get together relatively quickly, maybe within a year or so. They have a peaceful few years together growing their own food and trying to coax an old barista station back to life so they can make their own coffee. They're both genuinely happy, Jayme absolutely thrives there, and there would be lots of scenes of Aidan Gallagher kissing someone for Steve to enjoy. (Sorry Steve. Your writing decisions might suck but I'm really giving you a hard time here.)

When Five finds the journal, he hides it from her, although he clearly struggles with himself over it, and becomes unhappy. After a few months of him not being himself, Jayme finally gets it out of him.

When she asks why, Five's all: "Because I choose you. I didn't choose you last time so I'm choosing you this time. I love you blah blah kissy kissy for Steve"

And Jayme's like "Yeah, I appreciate it but I love you too. You wouldn't be the man I love if you didn't leave this behind and go back to your family. I want you to be happy and you can't be happy knowing that you can get back to them."

Five accepts this sadly and thanks her for the little slice of normality and peace they shared together. For a moment it looks like she's going to stay and he's going to leave, but at the last second she joins him. Five is her family now, and so are all the Umbrellas too. She can't keep 'playing house' alone. Wherever they are, she will be happy.

And then the series ends totally differently and they all get their happy endings.

[writingshae]

it's nice to have a friend (pt. 2)

Malfoy!reader x Neville Longbottom

Summary: The greenhouses have always been a sanctuary, a good way to hideaway from your housemates and your brothers' awful friends. Once there, you find and befriend Neville, who shares your interest in magical plants and their properties. Your friendship grows over time, but how long can you keep the secret of your lineage from him?

words:

warnings: slight descriptions of disordered eating

notes: This occurs in the golden trio's sixth year. You are Draco's younger sister, in your fifth year.

—

Lost my gloves, you give me one "Wanna hang out?" Yeah, sounds like fun

— Hours passed during that first evening with Neville. You mostly listened, learning all about his Gran, his favorite plant, and his exploits from the previous year. You couldn't help but smile, muscles in your face hurting slightly from the lack of use. He was a breath of fresh air compared to the atmosphere in the dungeons. Plus, it was easy for you to avoid speaking about yourself once you got him started on mimbulus mimbletonia.

"Blimey," he noted as he looked at the clock. "It's after hours. I have a pass from Professor Sprout. I should walk you back to your common room so you don't get in trouble."

"No!"

The silence after your sudden outburst was deafening. You could hear the cogs in his head trying to decipher why you had become so defensive. Was it because his family was full of blood traitors and she was a Slytherin? Was she embarrassed to be associated with him?

"No... Sorry. I didn't mean to say it like that. I just mean, it's fine. I know the Slytherin prefects, so I'll be fine. But thank you for your offer."

They both stood, awkwardly moving towards the door of the Greenhouse. Neville wondered if he said something in his rambling that had caused the shift in mood. Up until this point, he thought that the two of you were getting along swimmingly. You didn't have the glazed over look that Ginny and Hermione had and didn't interrupt him like Harry and Ron would.

"Do you usually-" "Would it be okay if-"

The both of them spoke over each other, stopping only to chuckle at their interruptions. "You first," you insisted.

"I was wondering... I mean, I've never seen you around the castle before. But if you'd like, maybe you could have breakfast with me and my friends? They're in your year I think. You mentioned your were in year five."

You nodded to confirm. "I usually keep to my room and the common room. I prefer to eat by myself most days," you explained. Realizing that it sounded like another excuse to avoid him, you quickly spoke up. "But I happen to be free around this time every week. Don't know if you'd spend it in the greenhouses every week, but I wouldn't mind it."

Neville absorbed the new information and nodded excitedly. "Oh, yea. I've been helping Professor Sprout so I'm usually here anyways. I bring my dinner and some snacks. We could meet up again, same time next week, yea?" he asked, making sure that he was reading the situation correctly.

"Same time, next week," you said with a small nod. "Goodnight, Neville... This was really nice." Without allowing him to respond, you walked out, turning down the hall to head towards the dungeons, a small smile sprinkled across your face.

---

The common room looked much colder upon your return, probably due to most everyone going to bed. It seemed that one other blonde was still awake, sitting at the window that separated them from the Black Lake. "Electra. You're out after hours," he responded not looking up.

You sighed, walking over to sit down on the chaise opposite from him. "Don't call me that. Only mother and father call me that," you scowled. He had been the one to support you going by your middle name when you first started at Hogwarts. The last name was something that you were supposed to be proud of, but you despised it as soon as you learned of the mythology of your namesake. A woman who plotted matricide in revenge for the death of her father. Narcissa insisted that the story didn't matter, only that the tradition of their names lived on in her.

Your eyes fell over your brother's face. Even in the dim lighting of the common room, you could see the darkened circles under his eyes, how much sharper his features were from what she could only assume was from lack of eating. He had been like this since their father's arrest. Try as she might, she couldn't get him to talk to her like he used to. Draco spent more time with their aunt Bellatrix and meetings with the Dark Lord. She shivered at the thought. She had yet to meet the Dark Lord, so she relegated him to an urban legend like the Boogeyman or Bigfoot. Unfortunately, the man's proximity to the Malfoys seemed to cast a shadow over their household and wherever the family members went. "You're out late. Where were you?" Draco repeated exasperated.

"I just went to the Greenhouses. I lost track of time. Besides, you're my prefect. Don't I get family privileges regarding breaking the rules?"

He furrowed his brow and shook his head. "Just this once. Don't do it again or else I'll have Blaise or Theo become your permanent escort. You know the scrutiny that we're under. We can't afford to bring unnecessary attention to ourselves," he warned.

The warning was vague, but the sentiment was understood. Expectations were higher than usual for the Malfoy children. Narcissa and Bellatrix had mentioned betrothals and arranged marriages in passing, something regarding keeping the bloodlines pure. She didn't take too much stock in it; however, their constant whispers around her were beginning to wear on her. "Draco... you know you can talk to me. I know it's been a lot..."

"You don't know!" he snapped, his voice reverberating in the empty common room. "You have absolutely no idea what is expected of me." It wasn't like this before. Draco and her were able to speak. Even if she didn't spend time with her housemates or socialize like everyone else, she always had her brother to rely on. She could listen to his rants regarding the Potter boy and she would be the ever dutiful sister, nodding along as if she had an opinion on the matter. You stood up and nodded. "I don't know. Because you won't speak to me about any of it. But I'm not going to beg. It's been a long day and I need to get some rest..."

As you walked towards your room, you missed the look of anguish in Draco's eyes. If he told you, he couldn't protect you. It used to be easy for him to assume that you'd remain safe. You never went out, you never partied, you never became the talk of the school. Most people didn't realize that there was a younger Malfoy. But you were in year five now, a sudden curiosity in trying new things. Draco needed to know that you would remain safe and under the radar until he could complete his task. He dragged his hand over his face before getting up to walk down the hall to Blaise's dorm room. They had much to discuss before morning.

---

note: thanks for the love! I'm slowly but surely working my word count up and might actually have a posting schedule soon! comment if you'd like to be tagged in future updates!

[mimisempai]

All those words I almost didn't say

Summary

After one of the most traumatic days of his life, Greg is about to take a well-deserved rest when the doorbell rings. The day is about to take a much happier turn.

Notes

Mystrade Monday  1.0  #46 - "I thought you were dead"

@mystradepromptsandscenarios

On AO3

669 words - Rating G

"Detective Lestrade, after your bravery today, I want you to take a week's leave."

Greg, too emotionally exhausted, didn't even protest and nodded to the Superintendent before leaving his office.

An hour later, he was finally home, dressed in comfortable clothes, beer in hand, about to sit down when the doorbell rang.

He sighed, put his beer down on the coffee table, and looked through the glass to see who was there to bother him.

Seeing who it was, he muttered, "Damn it, Mycroft, I forgot to call him."

Words of apology on his lips, he opened the door, but he didn't have time to say anything because no sooner had he opened it than he found himself in a powerful embrace, pressed against Mycroft's chest.

"Mycroft, what..." he managed to articulate.

But Mycroft cut him off, saying in a trembling voice, "I thought you were dead. For a brief moment I actually thought I was watching you die live and there was nothing I could do."

Greg had never seen Mycroft like that, shaking, his throat so tight with emotion that he almost choked on the last words.

Greg managed to break free of the embrace and said quietly, "I know... thank my Kevlar vest for that,  I can imagine what it must have looked like from the outside. I'm sorry with everything that happened and the chain of events, I completely forgot to call you and I just got home."

Greg knew there had been a lot of media coverage of the hostage situation, but he'd refused to look at the footage. Who wanted to see themselves shot in the chest, even if it had been stopped by a bulletproof vest?

The bruise that began to form on his chest was proof enough.

He continued, "I promise I'm okay. I'm all right."

But Mycroft wasn't listening and said quietly, "Show me."

Greg lifted his shirt and showed him where the impact had occurred. 

Mycroft ran his finger gently over the small bruise and breathed, "I almost lost you."

Greg interrupted, "But you didn't..."

Mycroft put his finger to Greg's lips and interrupted, "Let me speak. I have to tell you."

Greg looked at him puzzled, but said nothing.

Mycroft took Greg's face in his hands and said firmly, "When I thought you were dead, I realized there was so much I wanted you to know that I hadn't been able to tell you. That these last few months with you have been the happiest of my life. That I don't want to spend another minute away from you. I'm in love with you, mightily, painfully in love. The things you do. The way you think. The way you move. I get thrilled every time I'm about to see you. I feel like I've never felt in my life. You have to know all of that."

No sooner had he finished speaking than he gave Greg no time to react, pressing his lips to his lover's in a kiss filled with the same intensity as the words he'd just spoken. Greg instinctively wrapped his arms around Mycroft's waist, deepening the kiss. 

Every time Mycroft felt Greg trying to pull away, Mycroft would press harder against him and Greg would submit because he knew Mycroft needed it after the fear he'd just had of losing Greg.

He didn't even know how long it had been since Mycroft had pressed his lips to his. But it wasn't until they both felt they couldn't breathe that Mycroft slowly pulled away, just enough for them to catch their breath.

They were panting, mouth to mouth, their breath hot and their pulse quickening from the kiss they'd just shared. Greg swallowed several times before he could speak, finally able to respond to Mycroft's declaration and whispered under his breath, "I love you."

Mycroft embraced him again, holding him close, and they stayed like that for a long time in the hallway of Greg's apartment. 

They'd told each other everything.

The rest could wait.

_________

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story  🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

Mystrade masterlist here

Mystrade Monday 1.0 : here

[our-lady-of-haymakers]

Private detective fiction is the peak of autistic fantasy, tbh. Oh, I'm a weird little creature in freakishly comfy clothes who gets highly passionate about the tiny details of insignificant things I have been quietly rotating in my mind since before I entered this country, and you're telling me this is key to solving giant puzzle boxes crammed with Characters and Situations that regularly spawn around the world?

I can just waltz into these ornate mansions peopled by society's wealthiest, chuckling as their disdain for my eccentricities is gradually eroded by immense shame at the consequences of their greed and arrogance?

I'm terrible at reading social cues, but in a really sexy and kinda minmaxed way that lets me periodically gain insights into the fabric of people's souls?

I am late to meetings and reluctant to get out of bed, but only because my episodes of deep dissociation have in fact helped me predict events occuring far into next week with pinpoint accuracy?

I encounter places filled with the most thoroughly inscrutable and recalcitrant people I've ever seen, but they eventually have to explain everything they think and feel and have done and expect to happen to me in excruciating detail as many times as I demand because otherwise they'll literally be murdered in their beds or have their darkest secrets revealed?

I can issue orders for the most seemingly unrelated and irrelevant books that correspond to my latest hyperfixations and rest assured that they shall in fact turn out to be tangentially-yet-vitally related to matters of international importance and endow me with the knowledge necessary to outfox billionaire grifters?

I cultivate a host of assistants and helpers who respect and adore me, occasionally in highly homoerotic ways, and are willing to keep track of my sensitivities and vulnerabilities and pet peeves and sudden needs, running for me every conceivable errand because they truly believe that I am an indispensable agent in the pursuit of higher truths and grand ideals? And they sometimes take bullets for me and passionately intercede on my behalf against the haters, only to turn around and stare ardently into my eyes and call me a loser and a freak in a loving whisper that signifies their profound authority on the topic?

I sometimes get paid for all this?

Please never wake me up.

[knickynoo]

Fic Author Self-Rec

Share five of your personal favorite works, then tag five authors to do the same. Thanks to @bg-sparrow for the tag!

Harborage

Harborage: shelter; refuge Marty spends the weekend with the Browns, who have settled permanently in early 1986. While there, he's forced to deal with the impact of his travels through time.

I have a feeling that no matter how many fics I write, this one will always be the most special to me. It started out with one scene I had stuck in my head (which was written out long before I worked out the actual plot and specifics) and turned into a ten-chapter story that garnered more attention and kind comments than I ever could have imagined. I loved crafting this little post-trilogy world and exploring the time-travel baggage Marty is left with after his adventures. I had a particularly fun time working Clara, Jules, and Verne into it.

2. Despite the Distance

On October 2nd, 1982, Doc entered his garage to find a trespasser who ended up becoming his best friend. But when a mishap with a new invention lands him in an altered 1986 where that meeting never occurred, he's faced not only with figuring out how to set the timeline right but also with the reality of the influence his friendship had on Marty.

A nearly 60,000 word, 17-chapter fic that spawned from this ask I'd gotten about how a BTTF version of "It's a Wonderful Life" would go. I didn't even have anything of value to say to that ask, but it caused the concept to stick in my head, where I continued to roll it around for several weeks. And while it ended up branching away from the initial "It's a Wonderful Life" concept, it did end up being a story where Doc gets to see what Marty's life is like without him.

Creating this altered, "tougher" version of Marty was my favorite part of the whole process, and getting to see him form a tentative friendship with Doc in such different circumstances was such a fun thing to tackle. I still have no idea who sent me that ask, but if you see this post: thank you. This story was challenging and emotional and a blast to write, and I'm so pleased at the way it's connected with people.

3. So, Your Brother's Befriended a Mad Scientist

Working as assistant for the town's most mysterious inventor isn't exactly a job Dave would've expected Marty to get, but it sure is an interesting one.

My most recent fic! Have you ever wanted to see a fic about Doc and Marty's friendship written entirely from Dave McFly's point of view? No? Well, I wrote it anyway. And I loved every second of it. Dave is a wonderful big brother, and I'm already looking forward to utilizing him more in the future.

4. In Case of Emergency

Who else is a kid supposed to call for a late-night rescue?

Perhaps my laziest summary, but one of my favorite one-shots. A little slice of life in which Marty decides to go to a party, immediately decides "this is bogus," and calls Doc to come pick him up. A lovely little look at their dynamic and the trust Marty places in his best friend. Also featuring: Doc having an entire conversation with his dog.

5. The Real You

Alex gets ready for a date with Ellen and, in typical fashion, is a nervous wreck. Good thing Mallory is there to provide some words of wisdom.

I really struggled with what to put in this final spot, but I'm going with my one and only (for now) Family Ties fic. Writing Alex is intimidating, but I enjoyed putting this together and being able to include some nice sibling relationship moments between him and Mallory. I've got a bunch of notes on additional FT one-shots that I want to write at some point. I'm so used to writing Doc and Marty at this point, and it's nice to have all these other characters to write about and Put In Situations.

I'm going to leave this open to anyone who wants to take the opportunity to talk about some of their favorite fics they've written :)

[therabbitsmuse]

10

this last quarter of the year has been a tiring mess. nobody should have to go through this many ups and downs in such a short time span. I'm exhausted and don't trust my judgment at all. i feel like something went off-kilter in my brain which in turn has thrown off my ability to process situations and people.

my heart feels displaced. did i mention i feel exhausted?

i want to focus next year on really editing my personal style. i made a shit ton of mood boards in the past week so i didn't have to deal with my feelings, haha

music has sounded so blah this year. it's definitely a me thing, it's no longer the escape that it used to be. i wondered if i had lived in NYC sooner, would this feeling have occured earlier on? because i had nothing else going on for me in the bay lol, going to events was my literal single source of happiness. but now that i've moved, there's just so much more access to the rest of my interests. i think honestly, i still would've been as crazy about going to events and prob would've gotten into even more trouble lol. but comparing how i feel now about the scene now vs 2019... yeah, I'm pretty lukewarm about it now lol. but seeing as it took around 12 years for me to begin to feel this way... not bad lol

i just unlocked a memory of when i used to take pre-workout not long after waking up because otherwise i would be wired past my bedtime lol.

i did a quick inventory of my sephora and ulta orders this year and tbh.... 90% of the shit i bought, i only used a few times or they ended up being duds. the only things that were worth it were from replacing my staples, which really only happens twice a year. it's crazy how all that marketing will make you think wearing a certain lip color will make you change your entire demeanor, your entire life! (and falling for it despite you owning 3 lipsticks in that shade already lol). like why the fuck do i own 3 liquid highlighters when i don't use them anymore? next year, I'm gonna use that money and invest build my new wardrobe LOL

the most interesting and best cities allow artists to thrive. yes, it's a struggle, but the city still values them. cough bay area.

i can't wait to spend the rest of this year not seeing a single person cuz I'm tired and don't want to be asked what I'm up to. (if you know, you already know~)

i keep trying to find a signature winter scent. i thought it was tom ford's tobacco vanille but I'm having second thoughts about it. idk why it smells a little different than the sample i got a while ago but ya know I'm gonna use every last drop cuz tom ford is $$$

my theme for next year is gothic alien. gotta do it for the younger me cuz that little weirdo didn't get to fully live out that dream lol

[drea-exclusives]

Week 3 — Bittersweet Reunions

Post journaling edit: this week's entry is a heavier one. I had originally intended to write about 2 major events that went on this week, including Chinese New Year which I celebrated (and am still in the process of celebrating) this weekend. However, I ended up writing and reflecting on the first event more as it held more significance to me this week. I questioned if I should post it as it is quite personal, but I decided to anyway as it is raw and it is real. Hence, here is me emptying my brain on something which I hold very close to my heart and gaining closure during the process of journaling this experience.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭

As the title suggests, this week's entry revolves around the feeling of bittersweetness; an emotion I find arises in many aspects of my life, and those of others as well.

The subject matter being a dinner I attended on Tuesday with my friends from primary school to celebrate one of their birthdays. To provide brief context, they are friends I've known since I was 10 years old, which is quite literally half of my life. But due to a falling-out that occurred between us a few years ago, I've stopped talking to them regularly though they remained in close contact with each other. Despite us making up and being on good terms now, I contemplated back and forth for a week on if I should go as the last time we met up a year ago, it was a bit of a let-down as things didn't turn out as I had expected them to. Nevertheless, I ended up going simply for the sake of it. Even though I knew I probably wasn't going to enjoy myself much considering the dynamics of our friendship now, but I thought to myself, "if I don't set any expectations, then I can't possibly be THAT much more disappointed than last time, right?"

And honestly, it didn't turn out as terrible as I thought it would. There were definitely moments where I questioned why I was even there in the first place, but I think more of that time which I spent pondering while the lively chatters of my friends surrounded me, I was silently grieving while reminiscing on the times we spent all those years ago before things changed. I realised that regardless of how many years have past, every time that I am with them I will be brought back to our pre-teen years when we had no idea what was to come; a reminder of the best and the worst times we've had together.

That's the bittersweet part of it, coming to the realisation that we are no longer the people we were 6, 8, 10 years ago. And on top of that, having to admit to myself that this friendship doesn't serve me much purpose anymore. To accept that it was inevitable, as people change over time and our values, life goals, everything that bonded us during that time are not the same anymore, at least on my end. This has been a reoccurring thought process for me in recent years, and although it does get easier every time, I think that it is something I can't escape or move on from because of the impact it had on my teenage years as well as who I am today; I would have to face it every time I see them.

This is a quote that I stumbled upon this week on one of those TikTok slideshows consisting of sad Tumblr posts with even sadder music in the background. I screenshotted it at the time not thinking much of it, but while looking through my gallery for pictures to include in this week's entry, I realised that this post describes how I feel about my current situation — grieving.

Even while I was still at the gathering, catching up and reminiscing on old times together, I was internally grieving the bond we had when we were young. Don't get me wrong, I'm super appreciative for the friendship we've had in the past decade. In fact, it is because of all these thoughts that I asked myself if my feelings were valid or if I were being selfish, considering they were having a great time during the gathering. But I think that ultimately, this is something we all go through in life at one point or another, right? Letting go of the things that don't serve us purpose anymore. We can't possibly hold onto everything in life because that would just weigh us down, preventing us from moving ahead. We have to choose what to keep and what to let go.

And that is basically what I've concluded from this experience, that this friendship is something I have to let go of (at least emotionally) to make room for the better things in life. Though I will still remain in contact with them, I don't think I will accept the next time I receive an invitation as every meetup will only bring back these bittersweet memories and emotions. They were such a big part of my life and it is because of all the history we have that I do not wish to ruin whatever happy memories we have left that remain. I am and always will be utterly grateful for the years I've spent with them, there are no doubts about that. But it's time for me to prioritize myself as well; and that includes moving on from relationships that only weigh me down, remaining in my life solely as a reminder of the past, people I no longer see a future together with.

With all of that said, pouring my heart out on this matter has definitely eased something within me. Perhaps with time I'll be able to find peace, both within myself amidst the impact this friendship had on some of the most critical years of my life, as well as in the relationship I have with my childhood best friends.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭

Song of the Week! Remember how I said I found the quote on a TikTok slideshow with sad music playing in the background? Well, this was likely the song that was playing, considering it has become one of the top audios people use for any sad scenario. Ironically, it was through those slideshows that I found this song, though I wish I could say differently. I remember the first time I came across this song, the melody alone represented so many of the emotions I felt but couldn't describe. And that is exactly how I feel about the song with this week's theme, that bittersweet reminiscence. Not just that, but the echoing lyrics in the outro aligns with what I wish to say; that despite all of this, I hope that we don't become strangers.

[smokeybrandcompositions]

Bye Bye Bye

Lately, i find myself singing along to Nsync and Britney Spears songs. It's nuts because i hated them when i was a kid but, as a got older, i actually started liking them. Unironically, i f*cking love Bye Bye Bye. Now. Back then? I found it loathsome. Objectively, all of these songs are terrible. Terrible lyrics. Questionable vocals. Weird harmonies. Dope ass production, though. Consciously, i know that these songs are the equivalent to brain-dead blockbusters designed to appeal to the loins rather than the heart. That said, every time I've ever heard It's Gonna Be Me as an adult, i find myself singing right along. Why? I don't think i love the songs, themselves. Is til think they're all bunk. I just think I've aged enough to see them for what they are: Harness pop nonsense. More than that, they are relics of my youth and my generation, the Millennials (Specifically by little sub-generation, the Xennials), are a generation defined by nostalgia. Millennials are cats born from the early Eighties into the mid-Nineties. We grew up during the height of US property. We watched the Internet become a thing. We f*cking remember Netscape and Friendster. We went from vinyl, to cassette, to CD, to MP3, to f*cking Spotify. Bro, cell phones had battery packs you wore like a purse when i was young.

We saw the very best of what the world had to offer as children and then the second we were adults, the second we had the opportunity to harvest our share of that juicy ass fruit, the world collapsed around our ears. It is in that collective trauma in which we we stand alone. Zoomers grew up in this hell, the memory of better times is like a ghost to them. Alphas have no idea what it was like to, you know, exists in a world that isn't on fire. Millennials watched the collapse. The slow motion car crash of the "American Dream" happened right before our eyes. We were all casualties by the time we could steer the goddamn ship and that's why i like Nsync now. It's why i own every goddamn Playstation and keep Mr. Brightside on repeat. Well, not so much Mr. Brightside. That sh*t is just a straight up classic which has withstood the test of time. It is why i dropped six hundred dollars on a pair of Playoff XIIs, though. Same reason i own two, identical, Starscream action figures and am putting serious thought to getting that new MP Optimus Prime. I don't like Nsync because the music is good or my tastes have softened. I like Nsync because it's the soundtrack to my childhood, particular my my Junior High/High School years. This isn't a situation where i peaked in high school and yearn for those lost days like Hank Hill or someone equally as pathetic.

No, this is me, listening to a record, which reminds me of a time before rampant stupidity took over the world. 9/11 occurred a week after i started eleventh grade and it's been downhill ever sense. By the time i turned eighteen, we were a the start of a war which would last twenty f*cking years and cause more than one recession. I like Nsync because it reminds me of a time before all of that happened. It reminds me of a time where there was still hope for the future, where i still bought into the myth of "hard work pays off." I like Nsync because their music reminds me of a time where the future was still unwritten, not this quagmire of willful ignorance, anti-intellectualism, blatant corruption, and wholesale stupidity. I like Nsync because I'm nostalgic for the promise of a world which was stolen from me; A world that I know, first hand, could have been because I grew up during a time where those seeds were being planted. The seeds for my future never sprouted. I never got to sip that sweet nectar of progress and prosperity. What I got, after seeing the potential just over the horizon of adulthood, was a capitalist dystopia and the dumbest apocalypse imaginable. I like Nsync because I am nostalgic for a world where my biggest problem was irrationally hating a boy band lead by a Mousketeer with Top Ramen for hair, which made harmless, superficial, brainless, music. But, also, Bye Bye Bye is a banger.

[smokeybrand]

Bye Bye Bye

Lately, i find myself singing along to Nsync and Britney Spears songs. It's nuts because i hated them when i was a kid but, as a got older, i actually started liking them. Unironically, i f*cking love Bye Bye Bye. Now. Back then? I found it loathsome. Objectively, all of these songs are terrible. Terrible lyrics. Questionable vocals. Weird harmonies. Dope ass production, though. Consciously, i know that these songs are the equivalent to brain-dead blockbusters designed to appeal to the loins rather than the heart. That said, every time I've ever heard It's Gonna Be Me as an adult, i find myself singing right along. Why? I don't think i love the songs, themselves. Is til think they're all bunk. I just think I've aged enough to see them for what they are: Harness pop nonsense. More than that, they are relics of my youth and my generation, the Millennials (Specifically by little sub-generation, the Xennials), are a generation defined by nostalgia. Millennials are cats born from the early Eighties into the mid-Nineties. We grew up during the height of US property. We watched the Internet become a thing. We f*cking remember Netscape and Friendster. We went from vinyl, to cassette, to CD, to MP3, to f*cking Spotify. Bro, cell phones had battery packs you wore like a purse when i was young.

We saw the very best of what the world had to offer as children and then the second we were adults, the second we had the opportunity to harvest our share of that juicy ass fruit, the world collapsed around our ears. It is in that collective trauma in which we we stand alone. Zoomers grew up in this hell, the memory of better times is like a ghost to them. Alphas have no idea what it was like to, you know, exists in a world that isn't on fire. Millennials watched the collapse. The slow motion car crash of the "American Dream" happened right before our eyes. We were all casualties by the time we could steer the goddamn ship and that's why i like Nsync now. It's why i own every goddamn Playstation and keep Mr. Brightside on repeat. Well, not so much Mr. Brightside. That sh*t is just a straight up classic which has withstood the test of time. It is why i dropped six hundred dollars on a pair of Playoff XIIs, though. Same reason i own two, identical, Starscream action figures and am putting serious thought to getting that new MP Optimus Prime. I don't like Nsync because the music is good or my tastes have softened. I like Nsync because it's the soundtrack to my childhood, particular my my Junior High/High School years. This isn't a situation where i peaked in high school and yearn for those lost days like Hank Hill or someone equally as pathetic.

No, this is me, listening to a record, which reminds me of a time before rampant stupidity took over the world. 9/11 occurred a week after i started eleventh grade and it's been downhill ever sense. By the time i turned eighteen, we were a the start of a war which would last twenty f*cking years and cause more than one recession. I like Nsync because it reminds me of a time before all of that happened. It reminds me of a time where there was still hope for the future, where i still bought into the myth of "hard work pays off." I like Nsync because their music reminds me of a time where the future was still unwritten, not this quagmire of willful ignorance, anti-intellectualism, blatant corruption, and wholesale stupidity. I like Nsync because I'm nostalgic for the promise of a world which was stolen from me; A world that I know, first hand, could have been because I grew up during a time where those seeds were being planted. The seeds for my future never sprouted. I never got to sip that sweet nectar of progress and prosperity. What I got, after seeing the potential just over the horizon of adulthood, was a capitalist dystopia and the dumbest apocalypse imaginable. I like Nsync because I am nostalgic for a world where my biggest problem was irrationally hating a boy band lead by a Mousketeer with Top Ramen for hair, which made harmless, superficial, brainless, music. But, also, Bye Bye Bye is a banger.

[free--therapy]

Hii it's anon! Thank you for all the advice again, I'm always grateful 🫶 I thought about it a lot and honestly, recently, it's been weirdly better? I mean, it gets bad then it gets good again...kinda like that.

I know it's very much up and down still. It's like two steps forward and one step backward and so on. At the beginning of the week, I read your responses and I have better perspectives on whatever I'm worrying about but even I don't know how the week is going to turn out, what new or old irrational thoughts will pop up and affect me, etc. So even I don't know how my mind is going to be by the end of the week, it's kinda adventurous and funny lol

Even now, any worry related to the same old worries pops up, kinda affects me and makes me worry but then eventually in a day or two (or sometimes maybe a week or two haha), I can see with more clarity how it's no different than any other irrational thoughts and worries.

It's just a cycle and like you mentioned, healing isn't linear. I very well know this is just a setback. One of the worries I started overthinking about two years ago is just back is all. I also know that while things may seem like they get bad again after some momentary peace and clarity, but one thing that won't ever go away is that I know my mind better now and that's something that is definitely different now.

I just wanted to talk about the thing I mentioned with me being worried about if things will get back to how they were two/three years ago and about the whole forums and videos situation. I just thought maybe I should clearly share what exactly it is that I've been thinking about and worrying related to that.

So when I first had a panic attack (I remember it was August 2020- I was a 19 y/o back then), it was around when I had lost a friend due to an accident. We weren't that close but I still considered him a friend and a classmate I could depend on. After that incident, for some days, I kept thinking things like, what did he do to deserve this, he was such a nice person, why do we get to live so carefree and he didn't, I thought it was so unfair. I was down and in sort of disbelief but then thought, I should let it go. On top of that, around that same time, I had ongoing health issues so I was troubled by that too.

So both those situations together led me to have a exhausting day and one night, I started feeling dizzy from all the worrying and health issues, I was feeling weird so I searched the symptoms up on google and heart attack came up and I was instantly triggered lol

I had my legs shaking on and off for hours that night lol and to make things worse, I didn't know what that shaking was. So I was convinced that I really was having a heart attack or something 😆 I didn't know what panic attacks were and had never even considered the idea of being anxious. The search results even said, that after symptoms of heart attack, it could occur after few days too and I was on high alert lol

This sounds ridiculously funny to share now but it was a very major problem for me three years back 😆 Anyway, after a crazy amount of searching on the internet, I came to the conclusion that this was anxiety. But that conclusion triggered me too because I only read bad things about it online and started worrying if it meant I already have a disorder within a few days. I was worrying about everything going on because I didn't understand what was going on lol

After that, I caught COVID and lost my sense of smell/taste and read articles about how some people didn't get it back and that triggered me so bad. My family caught COVID too but no one had that symptom so it was scary. It took me about 20 days something for the sense to come back and until it did, I would experience that shaking of legs at night every single night. I would even wake up around the same time every night due to the worries and anxiety and had so bad sleep. I mean, I was worried about the smell/taste thing and I was also worried about the panic attacks.

Right from the first time I experienced a panic attack till the time my sense of smell and taste came back, it was a period of a little over a month. And for that whole period, I was so anxious and just a whole different person. I was constantly just googling and reading stuff about my symptoms and watched a whole lot of videos about anxiety and related stuff.

But in those videos and redit forums, the people were talking about ALL the negative experiences. They talked about stuff I didn't know about like de-personalization, panic/anxiety attacks, and whole lot other stuff that they had struggled with or were struggling with. I didn't know any of that but somehow my mind ended up coming to the conclusion that when or if you have anxiety, it means you'll have all those symptoms those people were talking about.

Basically I had it all backwards. I thought if I had anxiety, I'll get all those symptoms too. So I completely rejected the idea and told myself "this is just stress and overthinking" I kept convincing myself "it wasn't anxiety and just too much stress" or something like that.

After my sense of smell/taste came back, I forgot all about it and just moved on as if nothing had happened but I did sort of develop health anxiety after that. Because I already had health issues, there was the whole pandemic situation going around and things like oxygen shortages in people and my COVID symptoms- all of them led to me overthinking any minor health change and googling it.

Anytime I had any change in health, I would google and read articles and forums what it meant, etc. But I got over it. Then again, around December that same year, I started experiencing jaw pain all of a sudden and the googling habit came back. Somehow all that searching led me to read something about fibromyalgia (serious chronic pain condition) and I was convinced I was developing that. Again, I was VERY conscious of anytime any part of my body ached or hurt even a little. And since I was so focused on it, I noticed all the minor aches and pains that we usually ignore. I was so worried about the chronic pain thing. Then I read that anxiety might make you feel more pain too and I was triggered again. I thought maybe this was anxiety and it might lead to me developing chronic pain. Until my doctor said I was deficient in vitamin d so maybe the pain is from that. I was relieved and started taking supplements and forgot about the worries again. I wasn't until early February 2021 that I realised I was actually having a wisdom tooth lol 😆

Now all this on and off worrying and extensive google searching about any health problem and about anxiety symptoms, etc. lasted from August 2020 to early February 2021. I mean, I had months in between when I didn't think or worry about anything but also months where I was obsessively worrying.

I had some other things related to health that I worried about too but it'll get too long if I mention it all. But that whole period was crazy.

After that, by end of February, somehow, I came to realise that every health problem that I had worried about had turned out to be nothing but a false alarm. I realised that it wasn't any problem and I was just focusing too much on normal health issues and worrying about it. So I decided to stop googling anything related to health at all. What I decided was if I did notice any pain or health problem, I would give it three to five days and if it still persist only then would I think of visiting a doctor or searching for relief online. And it worked and I completely got over any worrying after that. But I also convinced myself all of that wasn't anxiety at all but just some stress which was wrong of course but since I had gotten over the unhealthy behaviours, I stopped thinking about anything related to that completely.

About the aches and pains, I also came to the conclusion that it wasn't anxiety that was making me feel pain in random parts of my body but that almost all times, the minor aches and pains were already there. But I also realised that it's the same for everyone, every person feels aches and pains here and there but it's just we usually don't focus on it so we don't realise it until it hurts enough to notice. But since I was so focused on it, I was noticing every minute ache/pain in my body that we usually don't even notice. I realised the aches and pains were not something new that I was developing due to some condition or due to anxiety, but rather it's something that is always there and it's the same for everyone. We just don't notice those until we really tune into our bodies and focus on it. And This is something I still believe as well!

Anyway, so I was doing great again until August 2021 when it was raining one night and I suddenly remembered all the worrying and panic attacks and the whole depressed state I was in that same time a year ago. After remembering it, I was so scared of it coming back that I ended up having a panic attack again. And since I had not accepted that it was anxiety, and I didn't have any ideas on how to combat those thoughts, I didn't know what was going on. I was remembering all those youtube videos about anxiety and what people had said and all those posts from those forums and stuff. Remembering all that negativity mad eme remember a post about one person talking about how they had enough and wanted to die or something and remembering that post triggered me so bad.

I decided to go for therapy since I had some savings around that time! In my first week of therapy, I remembered many random negative posts I had read on those forums and that one particular post made me think of the word "death" and I was SO triggered. I didn't know where it came from and so it got stuck. I made the mistake of googling it (I hadn't googled anything in a long time) and all kinds of stuff about intrusive thoughts and OCD came up which further triggered me because again, I started worrying if i was developing intrusive thoughts or OCD or something like that. Searching it up was a mistake because it led me to about a month or two of more and more worries popping and up and a cycle of reading those forums and watching those youtube videos again.

Of course, this time I had a therapist so she helped me understand how those habits were bad and asked me to let go of it. Around end of September 2021, I stopped searching stuff again but I was still worried about intrusive thoughts and OCD though. I would worry if any random habit of mine was a compulsion or not and what I would do if I started having intrusive thoughts too, etc.

I read about ALL kinds of intrusive thoughts people with OCD had or worried about and ended up somehow just subconsciously making it a problem for myself.

What I had concluded again was if I had OCD then I would have intrusive thoughts. I again had it the other way around basically. That's why I developed a fear of OCD and similar disorders because I thought if I had them then it would mean that I would have intrusive thoughts all my life too.

But I would tell purposely imagine all those thoughts/images I read people talk about and realise "oh I'm not bothered by these thoughts/images though" so I thought maybe those intrusive thoughts didn't affect me like that. I was following some mental health positivity pages here on this site and I did ask one or two of them about intrusive thoughts even though I wasn't particularly bothered.

Around that time, since those people on the mental health pages were so nice, I started feeling guilty for asking them. That led me to spiral about the whole thing with mistakes and guilt. I would remember any mistake or bad thing I did in the past and start worrying what I should do about it. I felt like if I didn't do anything about it, I would keep feeling guilty. I thought maybe I should then apologise or tell the people involved about whatever I did, but apologising for every small thing from the past was practically impossible. I remembered any random thing I did that could induce guilt and/or shame and start overthinking about what I should do about it now. I started worrying if this meant I no longer deserved happiness, peace, healing and anything good. I started worrying if i didn't deserve to hear anything good from others. I started thinking in a negative way about myself like if someone was nice to me, I would think "if only they knew the things I did, they wouldn't say this or wouldn't want to be associated with me"

And my therapist told me this was just anxiety making me think like that. I didn't "have" to do anything about all those mistakes and that I could move on without doing anything too, that I didn't have to feel guilty about things since I was still just young and was overthinking. But still I had many worries and was anxious, I was worrying about the mistakes thing and about the intrusive thoughts and OCD too. But therapy was helping me stay positive.

This was also the time when I found you on here! I can't explain how much you and your page helped me understanding so many things too. I'm always grateful 💗

I stopped therapy in January 2022 and soon got the news that lockdown was completely ending and university was starting up again  with physical classes instead of online. So I was happy that I would finally start going out. And as I started going out again, I started seeing how trivial my worries were. I saw everyone around me made mistakes and experienced things like me but maybe they just didn't overthink too much so I decided to do that too!

I moved on with my life and was doing so good. Around the end of June 2022, I had vacations and did experience a setback where I started worrying about the mistakes again and you helped me with it too and by this time, I had better healthier thinking patterns. About a month or so of worrying, I decided to move on again as University was starting again in August 2022 and university started and again, I got over the worries.

Throughout 2022 and first half of 2023, I did have those worries about mistakes and guilt come up here and there sometimes but it was very minor so I was doing great and living life and having fun. I saw how everyone made mistakes but people didn't stay stuck on those so I decided to do that and was doing great.

But at the same time, since I was overthinking and worrying about the same topic (mistakes) every now and then, so I got comfortable with dealing with those worries. Because I knew "this worry is the same as always" so I knew I could leave it behind.

It was around last week of June this year (last month I mean), all those worries started coming back and while in the last one and a half year, I was dealing with the mistakes thing very good but I didn't think much about the intrusive thought worry. So when that worry came up around the end of last month, I was ended up getting into that overthinking and worrying cycle again.

And since unlike the past year and a half where most of my intrusive thoughts would be what ifs about my mistakes and guilt, this time, the topic completely changed to intrusive images and associations and other old worries that I thought didn't affect me at all or that I thought I had gotten over.

Of course, now I have much better and healthier thinking patterns and I know I won't lose them or forget them. I also know that intrusive thoughts is something everyone has and associations is something everyone has too. I also know I ended up worrying about them because I had read all those posts two years back.

However, I don't have any of those negative thinking and behaviour patterns from two/three years back now. I never search things up, don't read any forums and watch videos. I share this with you and I know that I can share it with my sister too! Maybe if needed, after some months, when I get a job, I'll try therapy again too. I'm trying my best to look at the positive side and think more rationally!

I'm sorry for writing SO MUCH, I just thought I should share this because it helps me explain my other worries more clearly too. That said, I'm still sorry for writing too much. I'm also thankful to you for being here as well! I know I always say this but it's because I always mean it 💗

Hey Anon,

That's so great that you seem to be getting the hang of it and that you're starting to get a handle of how it works and even what to anticipate. It's true that you'll never know what your worry/worries of the week will be, but even that shouldn't be a reason to worry. The whole goal of dealing with anxiety is being able and ready to handle anything that comes your way because you will never not have some sort of anxious thought pop up to try and take you over. The idea is to make sure you conquer these thoughts before they conquer you ;)

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. That's awful and I can totally understand how unfair it feels to lose good people so soon. Loss can definitely trigger a lot in people, especially when it's something you haven't really experienced before, or at least with someone so close. I know I used to obsess over the deaths of kids who went to my high school or even people who were my age at the time. It's so sad to know that their lives were ended so quickly and you get to continue on with your life.

Covid was a scary time for most people, so I can totally understand what you were going through. I lost my sense of smell/taste too so I went to those reddit forums to see how long it took others to get it back lol. But I know my limit with these forums because I was like you and would spend countless hours on end just reading other people's experiences, but a majority of them are negative because people with more positive experiences or mindsets don't typically spend their time on these forums. So that's why I say it's very easy to be triggered or have your anxious thoughts enabled because you're around people who are stuck in unhelpful thinking patterns and negativity biases. I've also noticed that a lot of people will convince themselves that they have something that they really don't because they may have a few symptoms of something, but not the others, but they also almost unconsciously try and make themselves have those symptoms so they can fit themselves into the boxes better. It's not helpful at the end of the day for someone who is trying to look for something comforting as opposed to something that will only make you feel worse.

Anon, you make me want to cry. You've come such a long way and you're doing amazing! Never feel guilty for wanting to share what you want to share. Thank you for sticking around with me as I try my best to communicate with you all the things I hope that helps you. I'm grateful for you as well and knowing that I can help others the same way I wished someone helped me. I appreciate you

[gyucore]

SHELTER: STARTING LINE

pairing: ot5 x reader (individual endings + true end)

chapter tags: zombie apocalypse au, angst, mystery

synopsis: an unknown illness has rapidly spread throughout the world, taking down nearly the entire population and turning them into mindless vessels of death and chaos. in the midst of the rubble, you and your partner find a notice of a safe zone, and are taken in by a small group of survivors. you only have to hold out for seven more days until rescue arrives, but danger lurks at every corner, and not everyone can be trusted.

warnings: mentions of blood, gore, profanity, character death

word count: 3.8k

update: changed D-1 to starting line. the next chapter will be titled D-1 instead

master post | D-1

Up until now, it never really crossed anyone's mind just how much the world can change in the span of three months. Bright and busy streets that were once filled with people of different shapes and sizes, each living their lives the way they're intended, were now dark, empty, and uninviting. Garbage and rubble littered everywhere, and nature had taken over most of the run-down buildings. What used to serve as homes for many were now hollow shells of forgotten memories. And areas that'd been avoided at all costs became shelter for those seeking refuge, be it a dark cave in the middle of a forest, a series of tunnels hidden beneath the local town plaza, or the rotten sewers of the downtown area. Anything to not receive unwanted attention. If it weren't for the looming threat of danger present around every corner, the world would've been a sight to behold.

The downfall of mankind at the hands of an unknown illness. It had spread at an alarming rate, faster than renowned experts could ever have predicted. Endless efforts had been made to pinpoint its source, take note of its effects, and prevent it from spreading any further, but before they could yield the results of their research, the sick started acting strange. Two weeks after getting infected, the patients started behaving erratically. They've refused to eat their meals, lost their ability of coherent speech, and have had their mental capacity regress to that of a toddler. A week into their strange behavior and numerous reports flooded in left and right about how they'd start viciously attacking anyone that came within a certain range.

A child could piece together what's going on, and a good portion of the populace were well aware of what was to come. An illness that strips a person down to that of a wild animal, erratic movements, and accounts of vicious attacks; the whole situation sounded like the start a film one would pay to see on the big screen at weekends, except this was real life. It had already been too late when the horrific realization fell on everyone.

“I don't think we should do this.”

You snap out of your thoughts at the sound of someone's voice up front. It hadn't occurred to you that you'd been staring blankly at the moss covered floor for quite some time. “Sorry, what were you saying?” You ask, getting up from your seat on the ground.

Sunlight shone through the cracks above the sewers, illuminating the person's face. “I said, I don't think we should go through with the plan.” It had been Beomgyu who'd stepped up to oppose this month's supply run.

“Why? Is there a problem with the plan?”

Beomgyu looks down for a moment, briefly avoiding your gaze to collect himself and find his resolve. He wasn't one to go against your decisions. After all, you'd never failed to take into account everyone's well-being in crafting your plans, and none of them have failed the group thus far. But this one just felt.. off.

“It's too dangerous.” Beomgyu says with clenched fists, eyes full of conviction. “I know we're basically out of rations at this point but we've never done runs like this before. What if something bad happens to one of us?”

“I've thought this over a hundred times, Gyu.” You tell him, eyeing the rest of your group on the side in concern. “You've seen it yourself during our last scouting, right? There's barely any resources left around these parts of the city. The only way we'll be able to survive until our next relocation is to raid the nearest mall.”

“We could scout the area again.” Beomgyu insists, not letting his gut feeling slide. “We could find some other ways to get our hands on supplies without risking everyone's safety. You and I know the hordes prefer dark and wide spaces. There could be hundreds of them in there.”

“We'll take the risk.” A hand makes its way to your shoulder. You turn and see the rest of your group, Suhyeon and Sungjae, the hand belonging to the former.

Beomgyu frowns at the others' approval. You hold his hand and smile in attempt to reassure him, and for a moment, the two of you stare each other down. By the frightened look in his eyes, you could tell he was scared. And you were too. Everyone was, all the time. And with that fear, the idea of giving up seemed to grasp at your fingers, but the group wasn't in a place to do so. Beomgyu understood that.

“Fine. I trust you.”

You breathe a sigh of relief, giving his hand a little squeeze. “I won't let you down.” Was what you wanted to tell him, but couldn't find the courage to. You just hope things would actually go as planned.

Since the beginning, Beomgyu had always placed his trust in you. Both of you were broadcasting majors in college, and had taken most of your classes together. The first wave of attacks from the horde happened during one of those classes. It was of pure luck that you were seated next to Beomgyu that day. Quick on his feet, he'd instinctively grabbed your hand and dragged you to safety as he ran. And you've never felt so grateful your entire life. The gruesome sight of your classmates being ripped apart bit by bit had rendered you frozen in place. If it hadn't been for Beomgyu, you could've been one of them. And ever since that day, you'd vowed to survive together no matter what.

 The group left the base around noon. It looked like it was about to rain so you urged everyone to move quickly. The last thing anyone wants was to have to navigate slippery grounds.

Getting to the mall took nearly half an hour on foot. You had the group go around, sticking to the edge of the forest. In the situation you encounter a horde of infected, the dense trees and greenery would provide great cover. Fortunately, there had only been a few of them wandering around the streets, making it easy for the group to evade and not engage.

Arriving at the mall, Suhyeon and Beomgyu proceed to scout the area, securing every entrance and exit. You and Sungjae stayed behind, reviewing the map of the mall by the main entrance.

“Don't you think it's strange?” Sungjae says, copying the map on her notebook.

“What?” You ask absentmindedly, drawing your own copy.

“Usually there'd be more infected lurking around. This is the first time we didn't have to fight them off. Kinda makes me paranoid lmao.”

Kidding aside, Sungjae had a point. Supply runs usually never went as smoothly as this, but no harm ever came with looking at the bright side.

“All entrances and exits secured. We're ready to go.” Suhyeon reports tucking her ropes back in her bag. Beomgyu follows behind, giving an affirming nod.

Sungjae passes down copies of the map, and you provide everyone with a final rundown of the plan.

“We split up. Suhyeon and Beomgyu, you take the second floor. Scale the building carefully. Sungjae and I will search the ground floor. Take only the essentials. Prioritize food and medicine. Take anything that can be used as a weapon as long as it doesn't slow you down. Leave the basement alone. That'll reduce the risk of running into one of them. Hear a suspicious noise nearby? Get the fuck out of there. Each floor has three exits and two emergency exits, go to whichever is most safe. I'll trust that Beomgyu and Suhyeon did their part in properly securing the exits. If anything happens, fire the smoke signal. If all goes well, we regroup here. Everyone clear?”

“Clear.”

“Then let's go.”

Beomgyu sifts through the stock room in one of the pharmacies, balancing a flashlight between his neck and shoulder as he grabs anything useful and checks for the expiration dates. Suhyeon volunteered to keep watch out front.

 He couldn't seem to get his mind off of Suhyeon's words earlier. She'd told him about her suspicions regarding the lack of infected nearby. How there must've been something that caught hold of their attention long enough to lure them to another location. Possibly the work of other survivors. Either that or.. they're all having a grand feast at what used to be a group of survivors' hideout.

Beomgyu shivers at the thought. He'd rather there be no bloodshed, even if it weren't their blood being spilled. But if it had been the former, the ones possible for the distraction must've had a lot of reassurance on their side, and a goal in mind that needed the absence of hordes to be completed. Government interference? After all this time? Probably. They were the only ones capable of such a feat.

“Noise about five stores away. Slow pace. You done?” Suhyeon asks, popping out from behind and shining an extra light on Beomgyu's face.

He nods. “All done. Let's get out of here.”

One step, and Beomgyu freezes. His eyes go straight towards the number of ad posters plastered on the walls. It was possible. An important notice from the government spread around through flyers.

Beomgyu finds himself grinning.

There's a fucking safe zone.

Then the grin falls. There was no doubt you'd find out about the same information, but on what lengths you'd go to retrieve it has left him fearing for the rest of the group.

He turns to Suhyeon, face grim. “We need to find Y/N and Sungjae. Now.”

 “The hell?”

The infected collapses on the floor with a thud, its head bashed up from the blow. It had been following you and Sungjae ever since you'd passed through the stock room in the grocery. You two managed to corner it in one of back isles.

“What's wrong? You okay?” Sungjae looks over at you, placing her bat down as she wiped off the blood on her arm. After asking, she notices your hands start shaking. You seemed so fixated on the bloodied piece of paper that fell out from the infected's mouth. She winces when you immediately picked it up. “I don't think you should be holding on to that thing any longer than you should.”

“Right, sorry. It's just..” You read through the contents thoroughly, repeating them again and again until everything just goes blank and an array of uncontrollable emotions started flooding in. “Sungjae..” Your voice cracks a little as you hand the paper over to Sungjae, holding onto her shoulder as she too reads the few words on the print.

T SAFE ZONE

ntact

89

55

tation

“Y/N, this is— You mean, we can finally..” Tears gather in her eyes as she clutches the paper for dear life.

You nod, letting go of Sungjae and readjusting your duffel bag. “We haven't gathered as much supplies as planned, but the ones we've bagged from this grocery should be enough. Beomgyu and Suhyeon can handle gathering supplies on their own. And I think we can both agree that what we need to do right now is to find out more information about this safe zone.” The torn up flyer obviously wasn't enough, and you were confident there were more nearby.

Sungjae agrees, placing the last of her haul in her backpack.

A crashing noise alerts you two, prompting you to ready your weapons.

“The noise came from up front.” Sungjae whispers. “Let's leave through the side entrance.”

You two got out of there quick, not wanting to aggravate whatever was wandering around in the front. The goal was clear.

“Find anything that could lead us to a flyer. Someone must've put them up, right? There has to be more around here.” You say in between pants, stealthily striding your way through the halls.

“Uh, Y/N?” Sungjae stops you as you pass by a bulletin board at the center of the mall. From the looks of it, flyers about the safe zone were plastered here, only that other survivors had gotten to it first, leaving a few useless scraps behind.

If only you'd gotten to it sooner, fists clenching at the thought. “Let's keep looking.”

 The next few minutes were quick to pass by. All the running around, carrying heavy bags were starting to tire you down. Strangely enough, you hadn't encountered any other infected aside from the one in the grocery.

“Y/N, can we rest for a bit? We've searched the entire floor already.” Sungjae begs, exhausted. You remember how Sungjae had the lowest stamina in the group, although she made up for it with her knowledge in medicine and first aid. She's always been the one to patch you up.

“Maybe we should head back to the meeting grounds. Beomgyu and Suhyeon are probably waiting for us there. If they found any useful information upstairs, they'd surely tell us.”

You consider Sungjae's suggestion. She had a point. But the ticket to salvation was already right in front of you. If you'd search for a bit more, surely you'd find it. Scouting the second floor was a no go. All the stairs and escalators were demolished by a bunch of freak survivors called the Lost Boys, evident by the obscene Peter Pan inspired graffiti they'd placed on the floor near the rubble. A part of you wishes they'd have a shitty day ahead.

To go up from the inside, you'd need to scale the walls, and you weren't equipped for that. The only other accessible place you hadn't searched was the basement but that would be too much of a risk. You don't want Sungjae or the others getting hurt. On the other hand, if you were to go alone..

“Jae.” You turn to Sungjae, tone a tad too serious for the latter's liking. “Head to the main entrance and regroup with the others. I'm going down the basement to find more flyers.”

“What?!” Sungjae covers her mouth, realizing her voice had been too loud. Her next words come in loud whispers. “Are you crazy?! Did you skip your rations earlier? I can't let you go down there alone! You said it yourself, it's too dangerous! Think about your safety!”

“But still..” You can't let go of the feeling that you might find something useful if you just kept on searching. Hiding down below isn't exactly as safe as it seems, and resources were scarce. It's not just the infected you have to worry about but starvation and illness as well. The sewers weren't kind to survivors.

“Alright, alright. Fine. You crazy bastard. If you really wanna go down there then at least take me with you. Two heads are better than one or whatever.” Sungjae rolls her eyes as she drags you to the path leading downstairs.

“You sure you're okay with this? Suhyeon will kill me if you ever got hurt.” You try to free yourself from her grip but fail.

Sungjae snorts at your comment. “I can take care of myself. Just promise me we'll be in and out real quick, okay?” She gives your hand a little squeeze as you made your way down, and you can't help but smile. Having someone who's got your back made all the difference.

 But if only you hadn't taken her.

“Shit!” Beomgyu shoots another infected down from afar. “Nine. Hey, Suhyeon, how ya holding up down there?!”

“Twelve! That makes all of them!”

Beomgyu clenches his teeth as he propels down. They were on their way down the second floor when the fire alarm went off. The blaring sound attracted a few of the infected near the area, but not enough to overwhelm the two.

The alarm could only one thing— you and Sungjae were in big trouble. Everyone had agreed on releasing a smoke signal when in danger. The appearance of smoke and its distinct smell would've alerted the other members of the group without attracting the attention of the infected. But setting off the fire alarm wasn't part of the plan.

Beomgyu and Suhyeon rush inside the ground floor, readying their weapons for an encounter with an infected but there weren't any around. Not a good sign.

“Now where the fuck are th—”

A piercing scream cuts Beomgyu off. Suhyeon could barely move when she recognizes the voice. “Please, no..”

Beomgyu places a hand over Suhyeon's shoulder. “It came from the basement..”

And with that, the two took off.

Beomgyu couldn't help but curse you in his mind. The basement was off-limits, and there was no way Sungjae would've decided to go down there on her own volition. It had to be you. He knew you'd be like this the moment you'd find out about the safe zone. Partnering up with you from the beginning would've been ideal, that way, he could've slapped some sense into your head when the time came.

“I know what you're thinking, but going around pinning the blame on someone won't get us anywhere closer to saving them.” Suhyeon blurts out as the two made their way downstairs.

She was right.

Beomgyu clears his head. The details could wait after the rescue. He just hopes he was fit enough to pull this off.

 What awaited the two in the basement was a scene that could only be described as something straight out of a nightmare. There you were standing on top of a banged up display car in the middle of the floor, the flickering light of the fluorescent above you illuminating your bloodied figure as you shot the infected down one by one as they came crowding. Estimated, there were at least forty infected coming in from left and right, prompting Beomgyu and Suhyeon to stand their ground, shooting down the horde as they got closer.

Half of the infected had turned their attention towards the two, taking away most of the burden on your part.

But as the duo's eyes adjusted to the dark, your figure started becoming clearer. You weren't alone. Never should've been but Sungjae was nowhere to be found. Beomgyu could feel the blood draining from his face as he sees what it was you were clutching your arms, or rather, who it was. “Well fuck.”

“Sungjae!” Suhyeon cries out desperately, taking out her bat with her free hand and charging at the horde with both weapons, hoping to get to Sungjae as fast she could.

“Fuck. Suhyeon don't—!” Before he knew it, he'd lost sight of his comrade in the dark. All he could do was continue to shoot, but for how long? His eyes wander back to your figure, and couldn't help but wish it hadn't. He could make out Sungjae's state in your arms. At least, what's left of her. The look on your face screamed a thousand words and emotions. Regret, fear, grief; he couldn't really point it out. You looked like you were just about ready to leave the world behind at any moment, holding your half-eaten friend close.

Everything was in chaos. Beomgyu didn't know what to do anymore. The horde just kept on coming, and he'd thrown himself in this dangerous situation without thinking straight. How had you gotten yourself in this situation in the first place? Why did Sungjae have to die? How will they ever survive this? Beomgyu could only pray for a miracle.

And with the sound of the ceiling bursting, his prayers were answered.

The rubble crashes to the ground, burying most of the infected with it. Beomgyu takes this opportunity to shoot down the remaining few in front of him, maneuvering his way to the front in search of Suhyeon, hoping that his friend had made it through the nightmare.

To his horror, Beomgyu finds her body crushed beneath the rubble. “Suhyeon!” He hurriedly gets the debris off her but realized it had already been too late. She was done for even before the ceiling gave away. Her lower half had already been eaten. The dread slowly kicks in.

He could've stopped her.

She would've still been alive.

A barrage of shots forces him out of his thoughts. He stumbles as he looks behind, seeing the silhouette of two individuals, non-infected most likely, actively shooting at a few infected coming in from the distance.

Are we being rescued? He figures the whole ceiling mishap was their doing too.

Beomgyu's attention then shifts to you, finding his strength to run to your side.

The strangers alone managed to finish off the remaining threat, allowing the two of you some time to pull yourself together.

Beomgyu quickly holds his hand out for you to take, but all you did was stare back at him in defeat.

“Beomgyu, I..” You croak, gaze wavering. “Sungjae..”

Beomgyu watches as you hold Sungjae closer to your chest.

“She's.. She's..” Your body flops down, the smooth surface of the car's roof making you slip. “It should've been me.”

Your words weigh down Beomgyu's chest. He couldn't even bear to look at you like this.

“Sungjae's gone, Y/N.” He whispers. “Suhyeon is too. I know all of this is hard to take in but we have to get out of here right now.”

Beomgyu offers his hand again, and this time, you make the move to take it.

“Better get your shit together fast you two.” One of the strangers calls out. “Your stunt with the alarm attracted all kinds of danger. There's more where these guys come from. If you wanna make it out of here alive, you better come with us.”

He was the taller one out of the two. Dark hair. Probably around your age. The same goes for his blonde friend.

The blonde looks over at the bodies of your friends and sighs. “Small group, huh? I know how you feel. But we can't bring them along. Too risky. We don't want a potential infected in our hands.”

“The jeep's out at front. We'll wait for you there, but I suggest you decide quick. Coming along is all up to you but we're not sticking around here for too long.” He adds.

Beomgyu looks to you, eyes pleading. You take one last look at your friends. Suhyeon and Sungjae. You vow to never forget this day, to never forget them, and to never forget what they've done. The object in your hand served as a beacon of hope, and a grim reminder.

“We're coming.”

“Smart choice.” The blonde nods, and the two turn around to lead the way.

You and Beomgyu follow after placing Suhyeon and Sungjae's bodies safely to the side, leaving behind your jackets to cover them up.

You couldn't stop the tears from falling as you stared at the crumpled flyer in your hand. Sungjae had sacrificed her life for this flyer, and Suhyeon for everyone.

Heavy rain pours endlessly from the sky as you got out, weeping for the lost. You hold on tight to Beomgyu's hand, earning his attention as he looks back. The gaze you shared was enough for you to know the other had been thinking the same thing. From this point on, you were to continue your lives not only for yourselves but for your two comrades as well, swearing to not let their sacrifices be in vain.

And if you could save a few more lives with this flyer, then so be it.

[bakugohoex]

Porco Requests? I've got plenty. This man is running through my mind 24/7 now. What about Porco with a super shy s/o? This man would treat his S/o right. Uncomfortable? Just tell me why. Too nervous? I'll tell everyone to shut up and listen to you. UGH I LOVE THIS MAN.

“i’ll make them listen, don’t worry baby”

pairing: porco galliard x gender neutral reader

cw: modern au, langage, fluff

word count: 1300+

a/n: brooo porco is so baby i love him so much, i’m a simp 

summary: in which you the shy reader are in a relationship with porco

↞ back to attack on titan masterlist

THIS MAN WOULD BE THE SWEETEST BOYFRIEND EVER.

He’d definitely be the one who came up to you asking for your number, you’d probably be walking outside of uni or something and he saw you and he needed your number.

Asks for it with the worst pick up line ever, something along the lines of I seem to have forgotten my phone number, can I have yours? You were an entire mess refusing to meet his eye and even forgetting that numbers have 9 digits and not 8.

You don’t even give him your name; you just say your number and leave in a hurry. 

His bad pick-up line clearly did wonders to you. 

He’d definitely text you straight after with his name and start asking questions, can’t lie he’d carry the conversation until you became comfortable with him.

He would definitely ask you to dinner or the movies on the weekend, you aired him for 20 minutes in shock. 

No words, he’d see the three dots in the bubble multiple times and then it’d disappear.

Half an hour later, a simple yes comes through. You’d never told him how you texted and called all your friends for advice on the mysterious man. 

You make your friends follow you both on your date, they actually take notes on how he opens the restaurant door for you, pulls the chair out, pays for the meal, he's such a gentleman and he does the talking after he realises, you’re shy around him.

He would walk you home, you’d both do that thing where your hands keep brushing against each other before he finally just grabs your fingers.

You’d give him a kiss on the cheek at the end of the night and this man would blush so hard. His ears would prick pink and a redness with speckle across his face. He hides it so quickly and before you can go inside, he’d ask for another date in the quietest voice possible. 

You accept, who fucking wouldn’t.

A couple months into your relationship, the facetimes and texts were equally split between you two. 

You’d scream down the phone to tell him about the new anime merch that had just arrived or complain about your day. You do not talk half an hour to send a message to him anymore.

Your friends think you two will marry, it’s certain, they have it all planned. 

Even with your shyness around new people you got along with his friends having met them a couple times. Pieck was always your favourite person to see at parties and gatherings but you were often talked over a lot when the louder confident ones at the parties spoke. 

Porco would notice this in an instant and always try and get your opinion out knowing that you liked the topic and had insight on it.

This man will literally tell everybody to shut the fuck up (politely to not make you embarrassed), just so they can hear you speak.

He also does it just to listen to you ramble on about your favourite topics.

*heart eyes*.

Or if someone makes you uncomfortable by getting too close or trying to get with you, this man will be at your side, lacing his fingers with yours and taking you to people you’re more comfortable with.

All in all this man is a simp and would bring but the best in you. 

“Y/n, Porco, you guys finally made it.” Pieck laughed a drink in her hand as she slouched against the sofa, the sound of music blaring and lights flashing sent you to grab onto your boyfriend's arm. 

He could already sense your unease at your surroundings, your grip tightening as his arm wrapped around you. “I’ll stay by your side the entire night.” 

You smile nodding at the boy, his blonde hair pulled back as usual, he gave a soft smile back before kissing your forehead. You had expected a night filled with drinking and being around friends, but you seemed to have been taken by Bertholdt and Reiner with Porco following along to the living room. 

They sat down as you situated yourself next to Porco, his hand in your hair as you leant against his body, the conversation had been boring, talking about some game on the PS4 that you had heard Porco shouting at a couple weeks ago. 

“I won that match.” Porco took a swig of the drink, your own drink on the table as you stared at it bored out of your mind. 

Reiner raised an eyebrow leaning his arms around the sofa, “fuck that you know I won it all together, one-win doesn’t make you a winner.”

Porco scowled at the boy before the conversation turned to something you enjoyed a lot more, “this guy really said Ichigo would beat Naruto.” Your ears perked at the conversation; it was between people you hadn't met but Annie had noticed how your eyes widened knowing you’d have the best input. 

She smiled starting to converse with the boys, “what the fuck really?”

You had always loved Bleach and Naruto, your favourite being Bleach and having talked to death about it to Porco and now with Annie including you, you had started to break off from your shyness, “Y/n’s up to date on both manga’s actually.” Annie was often cold with people but you two had become friends with ease having the same interests and her coldness and your shyness became an unlikely duo. 

“Let me guess another Ichigo simp.” One of the guys said and you gave a wary look, Ichigo was hot. You knew that and you knew that being a girl involved in a manga that had been directed towards teen boys made you become quiet. “She probably read the manga for the guys.”

“Not really.” You muttered, “I read it because it was actually interesting especially when Ichigo fights Ulquiorra”.

Your entire statement had been ignored and Annie had tried to include you, but you continued to be dismissed as just another girl simping for the characters. Of course you were a simple but to exclude you too one category was disheartening. You moved closer to Porco, he had watched the scene, how you had been ignored and now with your head leaning against his chest once again. 

“I’ll make them listen, don’t worry baby.” His voice was a soft whisper, leaving a soft kiss against your forehead before starting to converse with the guys. “You guys are talking about who would win?”

“Yeah, some guy saw Ichigo and thought he’d win against Naruto.” Porco started nodding, acting like he knew who these characters were, of course he had some idea of who they were, but he hadn't watched either as he got bored of how long it was.

“Oh, my girlfriends read and watched both, she’s better suited to this.” He pointed to you as you smiled at him, he was never going to tell them to our right shut up as it’d be a dick move, but it allowed for you to talk.

You gave a soft smile before you joined the conversation properly, the guys seemed intrigued by your opinion. Explaining both sides and why other anime fans would believe it to occur, as you sat upright rambling and talking. Porco watched with an intense look, he didn't need to speak, just watch and admire. He knew how you’d talk and talk and talk about anything you were interested in, but he saw how even with your initial shyness and dismissiveness they listened. Adding their own input, his hand went to reach your fingers, you felt it lacing your fingers.

He could listen to you talk forever, listen to every single word you ever said. Because he loved you and in those moments. Just staring at your beauty, the way your fingers gripped his own, the soft necklace he had bought your across your neck. He knew you’d be the one he’d spend the rest of his life with.

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