#every time i hear someone on yt mention something like this i go ??????

[celestiachan]

as a trans guy i cannot comprehend the existence of cis women. what do you MEAN you actually had a crush on zac efron as a child and stole your mom's makeup. what do you mean you like wearing dresses. what do you mean you're wearing a skirt IN THE WINTER

[itsbansheebitch]

More thoughts

I get both sides, but I feel a little confused they couldn't find four people in their +25 employees

Data analyst (Are you seriously telling me you couldn't personally email or even just HIRE matpat's team who do data analytics as part of Theorist Media to help??? The man would be overjoyed to help???)

Editor (Put the first $6 towards a can of coffee grounds, dude)

PR Team (Even, like, a single person, please, for the love of god)

Business Major (Or literally anyone that has taken a home ec/budgeting/personal finance class)

First, the Dish Granted series was started when gold leaf burgers were novel, now it's seen as tone deaf (for obvious reasons) it should have shifted to something like interviews with people who make that kind of food or local businesses (like parmesan cheese shops in Parma, Italy) or the history of food (like talking about the history of modern Native American slavery on Californian wine vinyards). Not to mention the untapped potential of Food Fraud topics. Either shift it, or scrap it. Any data analyst or chronically online person could tell you that.

Second, why did you keep "anyone can afford $6 a month" in? Are the editors asleep at the wheel? Are they overworked? What is going on? You know damn well to not make generalizations about what people can afford. That's NEVER a good idea, especially when you KNOW (because YT gives you analytics) that most of your viewers are young (16/18-30/35 range, I'd guess) who probably, either 1, are still in school and either arent paid well/dont have jobs OR 2, arent paid well and tired of people's shit, like people who own businesses talking about "tough financial decisions." To them, Watcher isn't going to look different from the other people talking like that, because this was so sudden, with no input from fans, and in the video you hear shit like "anyone can afford [X]." To be frank, it wouldn't really matter what the amount is, because that generalization goes against the message they have stood by for years. THAT is a slap in the face.

Third, what are yall doing with the budgeting? Every artist has a right to make art that they are proud of. Every artist deserves to have their work seen if they so choose. Every artist deserves to make a living. HOWEVER, there are MANY options online when it comes to making money, especially on YT. You could get into marketing, data analysis, expanding your demographic, looking at what people are interested in right now VS what will stand the test of time (not gold leaf burgers), etc.

You have to either have these skills, develop these skills, or hire someone to do it for you. It's understandable that you would want a team behind the production, but I find +25 employees to be WAY too many people, especially in LA. Bailey Sarian has a Dark History section on her YT (and Spotify podcast) where she has hired historians to help make sure her episodes are as accurate as possible. You've caught heat before from Puppet History's missing & incorrect info, you should do the same. She has about three (3) "intermissions" per episode for ad breaks. I never see anyone complain. People WOULD listen to yall talk for that long (+1 hour videos), tbh, though that's not necessary.

Why are yall out here with Teslas, expensive food, new gear, scripts (where there weren't scripts before, PH is different, that makes sense), and "better than TV" level sets??? I need to put your accountant in this week's church prayer list what the actual hell??? Ya'll, this video is literally the meme:

Guys help me budget:

LA Rent: 2K per month

Videos: 100K per vid

+25 Employees: God only knows

New stuff for videos: Don't get me started

Like, are you serious?

You have a right to do whatever you want with your art. You have a right to charge whatever you'd like for that art. You have a right to make a living from your art and you have a right to ask your fans for money.

Your fans have a right to be angry when they've been supporting yall for, what, almost 10 years? They have a right to choose when and where to spend their money even when you've made an impact. They have a right to feel betrayed, especially when there are better options (like Nebula or consulting with Theorist Media).

Fans DO NOT have a right to be racist to any members of Watcher, now that they have made a decision they do not agree with.

I personally, think this is a really silly decision and could have been solved (haha solved) with a simple YT poll, but apparently we had to get... this. I respect their decision, I just don't think it was a smart one. I wish them the best, and I hope they find a better solution. Any further comment from me will depend on what steps they take next.

[silverstagspirit]

I have read the Yuu the scientific phenomenon, and I'm not sure if I send the ask, because I have memory problems.

But the idea of some of like dangerous food being commonly eaten, and Yuu not eating because it contains a lot more poison. Also, funfact bamboos can be poison especially bamboo shoots, that's why some people have to cook it, aka boil the poison out of it (atleast based on YT Shorts of Vietnamese person living in Germany). Because I wonder what food are poison in Twisted but isn't at out world (aka the grandillas), and what food that are like delicacies but Yuu will straight up die, if they eat it.

Also, you know that there is a place in our world where the gravity is a bit funky. Like really funky.

Tho, I know that Twisted have chilli's, but have they ever have the straight up fucked up chilli's that by just looking makes you cry (exaggerating ik). But Yuu just eating it being yummy and borderline calling the fire department, and going to the bathroom.

Speaking of bathroom, lactose intolerance, depending on where Yuu lives, they might have better lactose tolerance or worse. So Yuu going to bathroom, is just pain.

Also, what about peeps who have genetic mutation where cilantro taste bitter or like soap.

The lactose intolerant part has already been discussed on the biology tag.

But the Cilantro thing jogged a memory from my past. If you'd like to hear it, here it is:

That's the end of the story

We had a vegetable garden that was made in raised, wooden beds. My Dad had made these troughs with his own carpentry skills. And one time, we had grown Cilantro in it. During that time, though, a large rainstorm hit, and the raised bed's flooring collapsed. Me and my brother and I had to go out and save the plants from being washed away. But when I got to the Cilantro, I was hit with literally one of the worst smells in my entire life. It was so strong. And at the time, I didn't know what was causing it. I was being handed the uprooted Cilantro plants to put in a bucket. But I noticed that some of the plants had a transparent slime at their roots. And I realized the smell was coming from them. (The smell was actually so bad that I had to step away and take a few breaths every couple of seconds) If I had to describe the smell, it would be: if a bag of chlorine got together with decaying plant matter. After that whole dilemma, maybe some time later or right afterward with the same plants, my mom made butterchicken. She put in the cut-up Cilantro with the chicken, and I ate it. Let's just say I did not like it, then proceeded to spend the next fifteen minutes picking all of the Cilantro out of my bowl.

As for the other bits:

The funky gravity part had me thinking about something I heard in science fiction. That, if humans were to live on Mars, they would become super tall and have very pale skin. Imagine a Yuu that lives on an Earth that has already made it to Mars and has people living there. And they're just another country to us.

The boys coming to Earth and passing by someone who had immigrated to Earth from Mars:

"So the next stop is that way. We better get moving if we want to—"

"Waaaarrghh?!?!?!"

"Huh?! What?! What is it?"

"There's some giant person over there!" *points at a Martian in the market.*

"That's rude, Ace! They're just getting fruit from the stalls."

"Prefect, didn't you say that there were only humans in this world?"

"They are a human, they're just a Martian."

"Martian?"

"People here have colonized the planet next door, and when you stay on that planet, you grow taller and become paler due to the lower gravity and staying in sealed buildings."

"So yer' sayin' that I can grow taller just by chilling in a certain place?!"

"Not necessarily, but you will grow taller if you live on Mars long enough."

"Mars?"

"That's the 'planet next door' that I mentioned earlier."

"Oh."

[rainiishowers]

HI AISDJIDJ

So if I may request something, could I ask for hcs for vtuber!mc? Second pov and gn? Sorry if requests are not open — and take ur time please! Ty if you do it tho <3 love ur works and pls don’t stress—

Yooo! I am so sorry for the delayed answering, I'm not ignoring you I swear Apologies for it being so long without a keep reading feature, it is not working for me 🙇‍♀️ --- Lucifer

Funnily enough, he heard this from Diavolo of all people

During one of his visits to the castle, the prince mentions that he heard you were on a platform for streaming and had "one of those cool looking avatars speaking for you"

With his curiosity peaked, he decided to ask you about this

When he knocks on the door, he hears a bit of talking before you allow him to come into your room

He opens your door and sees your computer set up, your monitor on and a limp anime looking avatar at the edge of your screen upon further inspection

He asks you about it, and you explain it to him

He nods at your (albeit simplified) explanation, telling you goodluck with it and to maybe get a sign on your door for when you're streaming so no one disturbs you

Honestly, he doesn't mind it, although he is a bit confused, he's supportive

It's kinda like trying to explain to an old relative that you do streaming or YT

As long as you don't get distracted from schoolwork, he'll let it be

Mammon

When he first hears about this, a few thoughts go through his mind

Do you profit off this?

How does it work?

And can he join in? (Mostly if the answer to the first question is yes, but bonding with you is always nice)

The first he hears you're a vtuber (probably through someone like Asmo) he goes to your room to ask you these questions

He listens intently as you tell him how it works and sets off to make his own model.. which proves to be a challenge..

Moving away from that, Mammon volunteers to be a sort of manager, which turns out to be pretty beneficial for both of you

But you mighttttt have to stop him before he tries to milk your viewers dry of their money....

Leviathan

A new vtuber has recently started to blow up, and he was watching their videos

However, rumours started circulating that they were in the Devildom, and that obviously got him excited

Obviously, he ranted to you about this, because he ranted to you about every new obsession

He found out about this through Dia, who you trusted with this info, and who accidentally let it slip that you were this vtuber..

Obviously, he freaked the fuck out, overstimulating himself and promptly fainting

He woke up in his own room and noticed you were with him, worried for his wellbeing

You two met gazes and he was quick to look away

"Levi.."

He looks up at you, meeting your gaze.

"I don't want you to see me any different, now that you know that I streaming.."

Now, he always saw you as above him, so that'll be quite hard, but after a long conversation with him, he agreed to not treat you any different now that he knows it

Satan

He noticed how much time you spent on your computer set up and got curious as to what you were doing

Once he found a proper way to word it, he would ask you

You two were studying when he decided to ask you about it, and further explains that he won't grill you for it after seeing your somewhat hesitant look

His curiosity grew as you go on to explain what you do

Once you finish your explanation, he simply nods

Satan was curious to learn more, and so he started doing his own research, and continually asking you questions

Sometimes he would stick around in your room while you stream, quietly reading a book.

Occasionally he would look up and smile at your enthusiasm

Asmodeus

He'd probably find this out by Satan dropping it into a convo and obviously he gets very curious

So, he goes to your room and knocks, hearing a "come in" before he opens to the door to see you wrapping up a stream

"Hey Asmo, what's up?"

"So Satan told me that you had a vtuber, and I'm quite intrigued!"

The more you explain and the more he thinks about it, this can boost his social media presence even more!

But he remembered that he didn't have a computer set up...

Asmo practically begs you to let him borrow your computer set up, just for this!

Although, he's sad that no matter how much he begs, you keep saying no

So, instead he goes on to try and spread the news of his lovely human streaming and obviously that boosts your viewer count

And hey if you feel up to it, maybe let Asmo control your vtuber, as a lil treat and thank you for boosting your viewer count

Beelzebub

When he first hears you do vtubing, he grew curious

So, he figured he'd just ask about it, so he goes to your room with some popcorn and knocks on the door

As soon as he got permission, he walks in and sees you just chilling

Beel walks over, offering some popcorn

"So, I heard from the others that you do something call vtubing..? What's that?"

You have some popcorn before going doing your whole explanation about it

Once you finish, he nods in understanding.

"That's cool! I'm glad you're having fun!" He gives a smile as he notices his popcorn is all gone

He goes on his way, going to get another snack

The man is genuinely happy that you have a hobby, he understands his brothers can be tiring at times, and you want a break from them

Sometimes he'll see the sign on your door that says you're streaming and leaves some food outside or knocks and peeks in, offering food, he doesn't want you to ignore your necessities for streaming after all

Belphegor

He definitely found this out by going to your room wanting attention, and saw you at your computer

You only recognized him when he came to peek over your shoulder, alarming you greatly.

"Belphie! Don't just sneak up on me like that!"

"Whatcha doing?" He asks

"Streaming."

"Huh.. Cool."

It may have not been entirely noticeable by his tired expression, but he did think it was cool

But right now it was taking your attention, and he cannot nap until he's on your lap

"When are you going to finish?"

"Uhm... Half an hour?"

Belphie huffs a bit out of annoyance before going back and flopping on your bed, deciding to just wait until you finish, but he might get a bit grumpy...

[thvnderdraws]

one thing i would like to elaborate on is why the Karma twins joined Night’s gang in the first place.

to start off, Serif never knew they were joining. she had been knocked unconscious from the explosion that destroyed the building they were in.

as for Karma, he agreed to Nightmare’s terms to one, have shelter and be able to stay away from Gaster. two, learn how to get better control of their magic. and three, keep Serif safe in the meantime.

Karma’s only motive is to destroy Gaster and all that he stood for. he wasn’t in the building when it had been blown to bits, and Karma wants justice for what he did. (hence ‘karma always comes back to get you’)

as far as Serif is concerned, she just wants a place to belong and be accepted. does it matter if the only people that accept her are a-little-more-than-crazy group of murderers? nah, she likes them regardless.

at first, Serif and Karma don’t know what AUs are. the first time Nightmare gave them a mission they had no idea what to do, so Night just had them observe the others for a few missions until they understood the gist of things.

since the twins can’t read, it’s usually Cross that reads their missions/mission reports to them. (Serif is currently in the process of begging Nightmare to teach her how to read and write)

once they had joined, they both insisted on sharing a room together, to which Nightmare declined until he learned they had been sneaking into one another’s rooms at night. he later complied (even though he loved the negativity when they were separated)

as far as every day life goes at the castle, Serif spends most of her time wandering around the castle (then immediately getting lost and having to wait until someone finds her. it’s usually Dust) and trying to get control of her haywire magic. she usually asks Cross for help, since he’s patient. (only when the gang isn’t looking, he hates being called soft)

Karma spend most of his spare time in the garden or sleeping. he’s pretty lazy, his side of the shared bedroom is a mess. he’ll train most of the time, but he only trains with Serif. (he doesn’t trust the others. if Serif is on a solo mission he’ll just ask Cross, albeit reluctantly)

as far as their relationship with the gang goes, Serif is the only one who goes out her way to actually try and get Dust to talk. which he does, a little bit.

Karma is not social at all. he’ll bluntly reply to the guys or walk away like he didn’t hear them. unless it’s Nightmare; he knows he’ll get in trouble if he doesn’t acknowledge him.

i know i mentioned Serif having some humans of her own that aren’t really there, and that’s because of the souls that were injected into her. Karma has them too, but he ignores them, so they went away.

Serif talks to them whenever she can. doesn’t really matter if anyone’s standing next to her, she’ll start up a conversation in the middle of dinner or if Nightmare is talking. she’s gotten in trouble, but the only punishment she’s gotten is having to clean up after everyone. (she ended up cleaning everyone’s rooms without asking. Killer walked in on her cleaning his room. he just stared at her until she noticed and made sure she didn’t go near the closet and find the trapdoor in there)

Serif eventually found out where those feint, ominous screams came from. she didn’t really care, though. she’s heard worse.

Karma is pretty quiet—like Dust, but he only talks to either insult someone or tell them off for saying something to Serif, to which she (lightly) slaps the back of his skull

congrats! you’ve made it through this extremely long post! here’s a potato :)

also—thank you so so so much for letting me rant about KarmaTale, it’s helped me sort out a lot of things i was having a hard time with, such as shaping personalities and developing Karma’s motives a bit more. i’ve already begun storyboarding the beginning of KarmaTale so i can work on animating soon-ish, and i’ll be sure to send you the link on YT when i post the first episode!!

i love learning about them !!!! serif and karma are my beloveds 🥺🥺

and dw !! i like reading about new aus, i’m glad i could help <3

[kerizaret]

NO BECAUSE THIS IS SO REAL AND MEANS SO MUCH TO ME

Nene even specifically brings Tsukasa up alongside SAKURAKO as someone who she has to catch up to, who works really hard and motivates her

(Nene's 4☆ from Our Happy Ending, tl by haruka's penguin on YT)

And all of you who think Nene never expresses how she respects Tsukasa clearly never read her Dazzling Lights 4☆ side stories

And the way Tsukasa reacts to her praise also means just how much he respects her as a friend and actor both and values her opinion and support. Especially that she's the one that's probably the least vocal about it from all of wxs – which doesn't mean she doesn't think so, she just often doesn't want to boost his already overblown ego

Case in point

Anyway she even points out how he's basically learnt everything about acting by himself and how much work and dedication he's putting into his roles and perfecting them – saying how incredible that is and how it often positively surprises her

He's so inspiring to her every time he overcomes a challenge he's faced with and it makes her want to work harder, too. He's in a way even a bit of a role model for her in that regard. I absolutely loved what op said about how she doesn't get discouraged by his progress but rather takes it as encouragement and a stepping stone because that's so true and I genuinely love that about her

And as for Tsukasa there's SO MANY moments where he praises Nene for her skills (so much that I can't even show all of them, partly because I don't have them all screenshotted on hand and partly because I think I hit the image limit already anyway HAHAH)

Those instances between nenekasa specifically have in fact always been, for me at least, one of his biggest tells of his development as a friend from the selfish and self-centered Tsukasa from the main story to the supportive and kind Tsukasa we know now

Because it does feel like he starts to praise her more and more openly and genuinely and less reluctantly as the story progresses. After the Christmas show in her On This Holy Nigh, I Sing event he didn't exactly praise her by himself, but moreso just readily agreed to what Rui and Emu said earlier about her performance and singing. But then in Mermaid Admiration he already is the one to tell her how amazing her ad-lib was by himself, even going so far as to say that this time he's (a bit reluctantly) giving up his star position becsuse Nene is the MVP today

And since then it's just been happening more and more, both in events, side stories and even area conversations. Like that one side story, I don't remember when it was, where she suggests a script idea and he's super encouraging of her to add more of her ideas into it as he works on it and not pass up this chance and she's really surprised he's not adamant on making the script how HE wants it but instead how SHE wants it

Also, mot only does he praise her but just like OP said also just comes up to her just to remind her how far she's come in both acting and with her confidence – not even just on the stage, but in everyday interactions too – and how she should believe in herself more and stand proud

Just remember how happy he was to hear she has friends during Fan Festa 😭😭 he literally teared up

Not to mention him tearing up AGAIN when he heard her singing during the same event, which Rui teasingly points out to him. And he doesn't even refute it or something! Just blushes

He's so so so proud of her and how well she's doing

I could bring up so many other situations for the both of them, they love each other so much

Of course the teasing is nenekasa's signature thing but there's just so many genuinely sweet interactions between them and you don't even have to look that hard for them, especially as the time goes and they both develop as actors and friends both

And their relationship's development is one of my favourite things in wxs

just casually thinking abt certain aspects of dynamics between the pjsk cast that dont get talked about like at all in the fandom and more specifically i mean the deep respect nene and tsukasa have for eachother that everyone seemingly forgets just because she teases him a lot... sigh... i might go on another rant abt that just hold on

[gaysimpsstuff]

Addidentally Injuring Their S/o

Part Two Here

YT Video Here (thanks @vanillaicedlatte-yt)

Genre: a n g s t

Type: Drabble/ Headcannons

Summary: in the heat of an arguement, after a battle, etc., they activate their quirk and Y/n somewhat permanently.

Warnings: gore, blood, fighting/ cursing, crying, burns, toxic relationships, 290 spoilers, endeavor

Other: This was meant to come out yesterday, but shitty mental health got in the way, so yeet. Also, I’m sorry these get worse and worse as they progress, that’s usually how things go for me. This was also inspired by a Tik Tok that I can’t find where Shigaraki accidentally dusts y/n who’s trying to comfort him. It was a Cosplay, if anyone can find it please let me know so I can link it and credit the creator.

Characters: Shigaraki, Dabi, Bakugou, Todoroki

Angst Taglist: @smolchildfangirl @combat-wombatus @mandalorian-baby-bird @waffleareniceandfluffy (let me know if you want to be added to or removed from the taglist)

Tomura Shigaraki

It had started as a great day, a perfect day even. Everyone was listening to him, the league was getting news coverage, people were afraid.

Everything was too perfect.

Something was going to go wrong, he was sure of it.

He hated the way everyone was laughing and joking together, Toga helping Magne do her nails, Spinner playing video games with Twice backstage, and you were chatting with Dabi and Compress about the league’s next moves.

Kuroguri was off doing something or other, and he’d mentioned another ‘follower of All For One.’

But something felt off.

And of course you would notice him.

You were hiding at an abandoned theatre, and he was sitting on the edge of the stage, staring out at the empty audience.

You were with Dabi and Compress in the wings, and glanced away from them towards your boyfriend.

He seemed stressed, scratching at his neck vigorously. You sighed, standing up and heading over to him, sitting beside him.

You placed your hand on top of his spare hand, offering him a soft smile.’

“Hey, baby~” you cooed. “How’s my boyfriend doing?”

He grumbled, yanking his hand away from you. Your theory was correct, he was stressed about something.

He didn’t want to talk to anyone, especially not you. You always tried to comfort him and convince him everything was ‘okay’ even when it wasn’t.

“Go away.” He growled. “I’m trying to think.”

“Thinking about what?” You asked, scooching closer to him.

“None of your fucking business!” He snapped at you, and you flinched away from him.

“Tomura, I was just trying to help-“ you frowned at him. He could be immature and bratty at times he’s, but he usually made sure not to get that way with you.

“I don’t give a shit! I don’t need your damn help!” He stood up, marching over to the wings to head backstage. You followed suit.

Compress and Dabi quickly rushed off the stage when they saw Shigaraki heading towards them. Dabi stopped for a moment next to you, looking at you.

“Good luck with him.” He said, jerking his head towards Shigaraki. You shrugged at him.

Shigaraki overheard Dabi’s notion, anger and distress intensifying. Good luck? Good luck?! What the hell was wrong with him?

Dabi and Compres joined Toga and Magne in the red velvet chairs, Compress requesting that he gets his nails done in orange and black when she finished with Magne’s.

Shigaraki pushed aside the large heavy curtains blocking his way backstage, finding Spinner and Twice huddled near a small TV, an old PvP game loading onscreen

They both looked over their shoulders, staring up at their boss. You quickly darted backstage, crouching next to the ‘gamer boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis’ as they had nicknamed themselves.

“I’m so sorry,” you whispered to them. “He’s in a bit of a mood. I’ll take care of it, okay?”

Did he hear you correctly?

A mood?

You’ll ‘take care of it?’

Of it?

What.

The.

Fuck.

“Say that again, to my fuckung face!” Shigaraki screamed at you. “Tell me I’m just ‘iN a MoOd’ again!!”

You turned to him, eyes wide and scared.

“I’m sorry, Tomura, I didn’t mean it like that- I just didn’t want our friends to worry!”

“They aren’t our fucking friends! They just work for us- they work for me!” He corrected himself.

You stood up, flicking your wrist to motion for Twice and Spinner to leave. They quickly turned off their game and rushed away.

“You might not consider them our friends, but they’re certainly my friends. And I won’t let you scare my friends.” You stood your ground, taking a step towards him.

He scoffed, turning around and marching back onstage. You sighed, following after him, again.

“Please, Tomura talk to me. I’m your partner I want to help you!” You exclaimed. “You’re worrying me, please!”

“Well I don’t want to fucking talk!” He shouted, “and I don’t have to!”

“Please, Tenko!”

“THAT’S NOT MY NAME!”

Red.

He saw red.

His hand flew away from him before he could stop himself, a target missile. It’s destination? Your face.

You lifted your hands instinctively, and he grabbed your wrist, fingers curling around your skin.

In that moment, all he felt was relief. Thank fucking god you’d lifted your arms. It was the one thing that has saved you from him.

You screamed, pain shooting up through you from your arm. Your skin peeled, falling away in tiny fragments of dust.

The dust fell around his fingers, your hand and wrist were completely gone now.

You felt someone pull you backwards, and you saw a glint of silver as Toga quickly severed your arm, blood spilling onto the floor of the stage where the pile of dust that used to be your arm lay.

You fell to your knees, screaming, reaching up and clutching at your elbow- the point of separation- desperately, trying to will your arm back into existence.

“TOMURA!” You shrieked, tears falling down your cheeks. “TOMURA! FIX IT!!”

It was hopeless, you knew there was no way for him to un-dust you. You fell forward, forehead pressed against the floor.

Shigaraki took a step back, glancing at his hand. There were a few speckles of dust resting on his palm. His breath quickened, eyes widening as he cupped his other hand over his mouth.

He stared down at you, Blood staining your shirt as you screamed and cried.

It must have hurt.

He remembered the promise he’d made after you’d started dating, when he’d protected you from some assholes trying to mug you.

“I promise you, I’m going to protect you. Nothing, no one, will lay a hand on you ever again.”

It was a promised meant against anyone who posed a threat to you.

He never meant to become a threat himself.

Touya Todoroki/ Dabi

Some days were always going to be better than others, that’s simply how it works when you’re recovering from trauma.

Today was one of the bad days.

He’d woken up with a thick, heavy, dark feeling in his chest.

He wasn’t even comforted by the warmth your body produced next to him.

Most days he’d roll over and wrap his arm around your body, pulling you close to his body to cuddle you.

This morning however, Dabi rolled away from you and climbed out of bed. You looked over your shoulder at him, confused and slightly hurt. Did you do something to make him upset last night?

You followed after your angsty boyfriend, walking out of the bedroom and down the hall into the kitchen.

He crashed at your apartment a lot, being a villain it was hard to get his own home. You didn’t know where he stayed when he wasn’t at your place.

He grabbed a box of cereal out of the cupboards, pouring himself a bowl. You pulled the milk out of the fridge, handing it to him with a smile.

He scrunched up his nose at your kindness, snatching the carton from your hand and angrily pulling the cap off.

You sighed, nervously pouring yourself a bowl as Dabi started to eat. He didn’t even bother to sit at the table.

“Hey, babe? You okay? You seem kind of... off today.”

Your boyfriend glanced down at you, cerulean eyes seemingly staring right through you.

“M’fine.” He grunted. Your frown tightened.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t believe that.” You shook your head at him.

Dabi glared down at you in annoyance. His scowl deepening. You took a step back, concerned and scared.

“Dabi, please talk to me.” You pleaded with him.

“Uzéndayo.” He grumbled angrily. “Fuck off.”

“Please, you’ll hurt my feelings.” You scoffed sarcastically. “You can talk to me, y’know.”

“Don’t fuckin need to. Leave me alone.”

“Dabi, this is my place. I’m not leaving you alone.”

“Then I’ll leave!” He snapped, brushing past you and leaving his cereal on the counter to sog.

He snatched his jacket off the back of the couch, shrugging it onto his shoulders.

“Seriously, Dabi! What the hell’s going on! Did I do something wrong?”

It pissed him off further to hear you blame yourself. You always thought it was your fault, but it never was.

“Oh shut the fuck up for once! Quit thinking it’s all about you! It’s not always about you!”

“Dabi just fucking talk to me! I’m not letting you leave until you tell me what’s wrong!”

You stepped in front of the door, flinging your arms open to block ilhis exit. He looked you in the eyes, seething.

“Nothing happened!” He shouted “Sometimes I’m just angry for no reason! Get out of my way and I’ll take my anger out on some rando and not on you. Then I’ll come back and we can pretend this never happened.”

“Dabi I won’t let you just kill some innocent person because you’re upset! Just sit with me and we can talk it out and-“

“That’s always your solution! Quit being a wimpy pacifist and move!”

“I’m not a pacifist, I just don’t think you should kill without reason!”

“Well I have a fucking reason!”

“And what’s that?”

“I want to!”

“That’s not a reason!”

“Just get out of my fucking way or I’ll make you!”

“Dabi, just talk to me!”

It was the last thing you said before he grabbed your arm and pulled your body forward to meet his. Your chest pressed against his, his face right in front of yours.

It’d be hot if you weren’t so scared.

“Listen here you little shit,” he growled, low and angry “I’m stronger than you in every fucking way.”

“Dabi?”

“I could kill you in an instant if I so desired.”

“Dabi-“

“Incinerate your filthy annoying ass any day I want, so be fucking grateful for once and watch your damn mouth!”

“Dabi!”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN! I am superior to you in every way, you should be grateful I even share oxygen with you!”

“DABI YOU’RE HURTING ME!”

“I DON’T CARE IF IT HURTS, LISTEN TO ME YOU DIRTY MOTHERFUCKER!” He screamed in your face, eyes wild with unchecked rage.

Tears flowed down your face as you sobbed, indescribable pain was shooting up through your arms.

Dabi’s eyes finally drifted downwards, and he froze, mouth falling slack.

Smoke was billowing off his hands, and his knuckles were white with how hard he was gripping you.

He snapped his hands away from you, curling them into his body as his eyes widened. He took a few steps back.

There were black scorch marks on your body in the shape of his hands. They looked real bad.

“Get out.” You whispered, so soft he couldn’t hear.

“W-what?”

“GET OUT!” You screamed, pointing at the door despite the intense pain in your arms. “GET OUT OR I’M CALLING THE POLICE!”

“B-baby I’m sorry!” He shouted “I didn’t mean to, I promise!”

“I DON’T GIVE A SHIT! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOME BEFORE I TURN YOU IN!”

Dabi stumbled past you, quickly rushing out of your apartment and shutting the door behind him.

His back was pressed against the wood as he slid down, covering his face as he listened to your sobs on the other side, hearing your footsteps fade into the bathroom, probably to run cold water on your skin.

For a moment, all the could think about was the cereal on the counter, getting soggy.

“Fuck.” He muttered, eyes burning as they tried to produce tears without his tear ducts.

“I’m so fucking sorry.”

Shoto Todoroki

Shit wrong emo scar boy with daddy issues, fire powers, and an evil older sibling with blue fire

There we go

It was a shitty day. 

Well, most days were shitty days, but today was shittier than usual. 

A home visit, Endeavor trying to act like he was ‘upset about everything that happened,’ and pretending he was the victim in the situation.

It would be enough to set anyone on edge, especially Shouto. 

So it wasn’t much of a surprise when he returned to the dorms with a deep frown on his face.

Even when Midoriya, Iida, and Uraraka tried to talk to him, he still seemed angry the whole time. There was really only one thing that should be able to cheer him up. Let’s hope you do your job well.

“Knock knock~ Shouto it’s me!” you stood on the outside of Shouto’s dorm. You knew Shouto must be stressed, so you’d gotten him some brownies from the sweets cupboard, Sato’s locks were easy to pick.

“I don’t want to fucking talk.” his response was blunt, clearly annoyed that you’d bothered his brooding. “Go away.”

You sighed, he could act like such a child sometimes!

“Shouto, I just want to cheer you up! Let me in, babe.” a moment later, he swung the door open, am annoyed glare on his face. You smiled sweetly at him, handing him the plate of brownies. His hands remained in his pockets, glancing down at the brownies then back up at you.

“Um... can I come in?” you asked quietly. He shrugged, stepping aside to let you in. You stepped past him, sitting on the edge of the platform bed, setting the brownies on the nightstand. 

Shouto closed the door behind him, turning to face you.

“Do... do you want to talk about it?” Shouto huffed, shaking his head and looking away from you.

“Do I look like I want to talk?” he snapped. You flinched, his tone was harsh.

“Shouto I just want to help, you don’t need to be rude.”

“I don’t give a shit if I’m being ‘rude.’“ He growled, arms crossed. 

His eyes stared coldly at you. Yeah, he was definetly upset.

“That’s okay, we can chat about something else. Oh, Sato probably needs to change the lock on the sweets cupboard, I kinda broke it getting you these brownies!” you looked up at him, smile faltering as he looked down his nose at you. “Are... are you mad at me?”

“Wow, you just noticed that.” he rolled his eyes. “I told you to go away but you didn’t.”

“I-I’m sorry, I was just really worried about you. You’re my boyfriend and I love you, I don’t like seeing you upset.”

“Then maybe you should try fucking listening to me for once. If I don’t want to talk, then you can’t make me talk.” You nodded, apologizing again.

“Oh my god shut the fuck up!” he shouted. “You’re always talking, always apologizing, you’re getting on my fucking nerves!”

“Okay!” you stood up quickly, lifting your hands defensively. “I’ll just leave!”

You brushed past him on your way to the door, hesitating on the handle. You glanced over your shoulder at him.

“Would you fucking stop with the pity?” you looked at the ground, not saying anything.

You heard the slap before you felt it.

The sting shot through your face, and you could hear Shouto shouting at you, but it was muffled. You didn’t know what he was saying. 

You lifted your hand to your cheek, hissing in pain. He didn’t just slap you,

He used his fire.

You choked on your words, turning to look at your boyfriend with tear-filled eyes.

Shouto was looking at you with a look of sheer horror on his face.

“I’m sorry...” you whimpered. “I’m going-” you slipped out the door, ignoring Shouto’s shout for you to turn back and talk to him

That it was an accident.

That he didn’t mean it.

That didn’t matter.

Katsuki Bakugou/ Dynamight

Fuck Icy-Hot. 

Fuck. Him.

He said he’d gotten stronger since the Summer Camp, but he hadn’t at all.

He was still loosing to Todoroki, and no matter how hard he was working, he still kept loosing to him.

His hand was buried in his hair, tugging harshly every so often as he listened to you ramble about something that happened during your work study.

Even you were getting ahead of him, his own partner was getting stronger than him. He’d promised he’d protect you, but that would be useless if you kept improving faster than him.

“Then afterwords, FatGum took me, Kirishima, and Amajiki to this resturaunt, and the owner turned out to be a huge fan of FatGum, she gave us free desert! Oh my gosh the cake was so good!” you exclaimed, laughing a little.

Bakugou grumbled under his breath a little, keeping his eyes away from your estatic face. 

“Great.” you glanced back to your boyfriend from where you sat at your desk, eyebrows furroring. Usually, Katsuki would give you one of those proud smirks all like ‘that’s my partner,’ but today he seemed upset.

“You alright, Katsuki? Was your provisional licence class stressful today?” you asked sympathetically, moving your hand towards him to comfort him. 

He yanked his hand away from you, shooting you a pissed off look.

“Fuck no.” he growled. “Even if it was, I can handle it. I don’t need your damn help.” you rested your hand on your lap.

“I know, Katsuki. My boyfriend’s so strong!” you smiled brightly at him. Usually complimenting him would make him feel better, but today it seemed to only piss him off more.

“Shut up.” he hunched over, curling into himself more. He pulled one leg up to his chest, holding it under his knee. 

“Uh.. are you sure you’re okay?” you asked, cocking your head to the side gently.

“I’m fucking fine!” He snapped, keeping his eyes anywhere but on you. “I don’t need your pity!”

“Pity? Katsuki I’m not pitying you, I’m worried for you. You’re my boyfriend and I want you to be happy so-”

“Didn’t I say to shut up?” he stood up, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Don’t give me your worry, fight me instead!”

“Why the hell would I fight you, Katsuki? I already know you’re stronger than me!”

“Fucking how? You got that new work study you’re constantntly talking about! How haven’t you gotten stronger than me?”

“Is that what this is about? I’ve only been at my work study for a few days, how in the world could I have leaped leagues in that amount of time to reach your level?”

“Then why even join that stupid work study if you’re not getting stronger?”

“I am getting stronger, just not fast enough to be at your level that quickly!” you explained. “Sorry?”

“Ugh just shut the fuck up!” he shouted, storming out of your dorm and down the hall to the common room. There were a only a few people in there,

Yao-Momo and Jirou in the kitchen, Kirishima and Kaminari on the couches, and Sero was leaning over the back of the couch. They all looked up when Bakugou stormed in with you on his tail.

“Katsuki, you’re confusing me! What’s going on? How can I help? Is it something I did?” 

“Just leave me alone, okay? Go away!” he shouted over his shoulder. Kaminari, Kirishima, Sero, Jirou, and Yaoyorazu all snapped their heads towards you and Bakugou.

“Katsuki, please! You’re scaring me!” you glanced over at your friends, Jirou and Yao-Momo glancing between each other and muttering. 

“Yo, Kachan, the hell’s going on between you and Y/n?” Kaminari asked, standing up. Sero hissed at him to sit down if he wanted to keep his head.

“I’m sorry, Kaminari, Bakugou’s upset and I don’t know why-”

“Don’t know why? Quit it with the lies! I hate liars!”

“I-I’m not lying! I really don’t know!” you reached forward, latching your hand onto his wrist. “Please just talk to me!”

“BULLSHIT!” he snapped his hand away from yours. “You’re a fucking liar!”

“Bakubro, calm down!” Kirishima stood up, briskly walking over to the two of you. 

“STAY OUT OF THIS!” Bakugou slammed his palm against Kirishima’s face, setting off a small explosion.

“KIRISHIMA!” You ran to his side as the smoke cleared, finding his face hardened.

“I’m okay, I’m okay!” he assured you. He offered you a small smile, suddenly, he yelped and ducked, avoiding another hit from Bakugou.

“LET GO OF THEM!” he shouted, and his hand sparked twice before setting off again. This time right next to your face.

You hit the ground first, then felt stinging pain across your face and shoulder.

You didn’t even hear your own screaming because of the fact that he blew up your ears.

You didn’t register Kirishima picking you up, or Bakugou staring after you in fear, or the others in the room scolding Bakugou or worrying about you.

All you knew in that moment was pain.

Pure, white hot, agonizing pain.

[carmensapientia]

Same anon from the last post and I can’t believe that I really used to blame myself because of eiypo and shit, (never on anything outside of my awareness like natural disasters) but I really used to blame myself for things people would say to me and do to me. Let’s say i have a problem with my skin and someone comments on it I would be like well eiypo so I gotta change my assumption. Now im realizing that’s such a shitty way to look at life always correcting myself because of what other people say is wrong. Or like some yt coaches not calling her out because she comes from a good place,preaching about well if he broke up with you and left you while you’re pregnant you must have some hidden assumption that he was gonna do that. (That last part was over exaggerating but basically it was saying something along the lines of that) It’s not a good way to look at life atleast for me I don’t want to always be assuming that I have to fix everyone and everything, not to mention the fix your sc or you won’t ever have a good relationship or you will lose the person you are in a relationship with, that would really confuse me considering that there are plenty of women who get in relationships insecure as hell and their partners help them heal and build them up even when they thought the worst of men or relationships in general. I also feel like certain people dive so deep into loa (I was one of them so no shade) when it’s so unnecessary I notice maybe it’s just me but a lot of people get their desires when they just do whatever feels right for them and keep it light hearted. Which can be extremely hard when people are faced circumstances that can be very difficult for them to deal with. So like Carmen says make your own rules make it easier on yourself. Another thing my last point, states I swear every time I see or hear this word I roll my eyes because it’s like why do I have to shift states and focusing on states is the key. If thinking thoughts or affirming or assuming or whatever anybody wants to call it is the reason why my states are shifting maybe I’m just confused. I feel like for certain yt coaches they need new content to talk about for people to watch so they can make money so they just come out with something new every few months. That’s why I like the tumblr community even though for a long time up until maybe the end of April it was giving similar vibes of you have to do this and this and this and then finally get your desire. It was super stressful and I found myself trying to do everything even the void knowing that, that’s not for me. This last few weeks seeing a lot of people shifting from the whole laundry list of rules to do what you want to do and get succeed is very freeing.

THIS THIS THIS !! EIYPO is such a great concept but we’re not in charge of every shit thing to ever happen and it’s so insensitively to think and say otherwise. You don’t need a perfect self concept to keep your relationship or SP. you don’t have to be perfect or do a checklist of your manifestation methods to get your desire. Some coaches are really shit and jus push information to keep the money going just like they’ll make you pay thousands for basic affirmations. It’s just better to create your own rules.

[hime-memes]

                        * Loey Lane YT Comment Starters *

Because I love scaring the heck out of myself at midnight, and enjoy viewing creepy content in general ... below are some of the more light-hearted comments from various Loey Lane youtube videos !

As always: These have been modified for cohesive and sensical use. Feel free to change anything within these that you see fit to make it work for your muse & the receiver’s muse !

Recommended For:  Any muses/plots/timelines.

Trigger Warnings For: Supernatural / death mentions, swearing, drug use, slight innuendo.

“ I'm sorry but the guy in the abandoned camp just going "uh oh" at a dark figure is the most relatable thing I've seen. “ “ Hope someone does this for me when I’m a ghost ! “ “ I despised it so I wanted you to see it too. “ “ Ghost really said, ‘ excuse you sir, I’m shitting ! ‘ “ “ She's so brave, I could NEVER go outside in the night to check out some creepy sounds. “ “ The amount of people who don't know that foxes and deer scream is astounding. “ “ Dude, the fact that her reactions are immediate ‘ nope ‘ -- makes me chuckle every time. “  “ Safe to say anything that sounds like an old man growling - is probably safe to say is not Casper ... It could be an extremely homophobic ghostie though. “  “ ‘ 27 Paranormal TikToks you should NOT watch at night...’ me, alone in my apartment at 11pm, clicking so fast I knock my water bottle over. “  “ This is 100% a Malevolent Spirit. “ “ She is so calm with all of this ... like, damn, I would have burned the whole house down ! “ “ Just so you know those ‘ man groans ‘ are angry bobcat noises … which is honestly even more concerning. What could be making it angry !? “ “ The ghost was just like ' wtf is this thing you left me ? ', sniffs phone, ' should I touch it ? ' ? “ “ Hey, the Appalachian mountains are actually incredibly fun ! Sure there's old spirits and other ancient energies but there's also interesting plants, animals, and fungi ! Great to explore ! “ “ Christopher, ( the teenage ghost ), was surprisingly woke. Like, for a teenage boy ghost that died in the late 90s - early 2000s ? He’s kind of an icon ... “ “ Oh my god,  if I had a Christopher I'd ask him if he'd wanna smoke a bowl with me ! “  “ ️It’s a part of Lumberjack mythology !!! “  “ Yeah, the Appalachian mountains have something in them. I don't go down past a certain point to the woods at night. I've heard screaming and a whole host of disturbing noises. “ “ That painting of the little girl is terrifying as all hell. I couldn't even look at her face, I have chills. “ “  There's a way for you to make a body decompose faster or slower to fabricate the time of death. “ “ Laughter is actually a pretty common fear/anxiety response. “  “ That ‘ shadow person ‘ looked like a dude in a dark blue hoodie with his back to the window. Also, it was VERY clean for an abandoned house in the middle of the woods ... “  “ Shadow standing in the window like:  ‘ Hi, welcome to Chili’s ! ‘ ... “ “ That shower ? - NOPE ! “ “ I'm so tired of people assuming spooky shite instead of learning about domestic history. “ “ I would never go in that last basement ... unless one of my cats was down there crying for help ! “  “ I didn’t even think of ' come closer ' ... I thought it sounded like a tuba, as if the entity was hanging around while secretly playing the tuba. “ “ Sheer fact she found a ouija board in the room says enough. “ “ Well, to me it sounds like the entity could be saying ‘ testing ! ‘ but, maybe thats just me ? “ “ Ma'am, are you aware that your basement is an entrance into Jurassic Park ? “ “ Not me watching this high asf and acting like you can hear me going, ‘ period, yasss, of courseeee, girl, MY WIG FLEW OFF ! ‘ “ “ The title kills me, just two very serious sounding mysteries, and then: Kanye West. “ “ The homestuck of ARGs ... Right. “  “ Lake City Quiet Pills will prob remain a mystery forever, so I would definitely stop talking about it.  Just saying ... If THEY spent that much to eliminate someone, they WOULD NOT have a problem doing it again. “ “ Congratulations on your bras! You deserve all the things ! “ “ I was spacing out a bit eating dinner, but you said homestuck and I zoned right the fuck in. “ “ I absolutely love how non-chalant the lady in the last TikTok is. She just comes in her living room and sees four dark entities and is like "I'm gonna go to bed." And I respect that. “ “ As someone who works with children and has blown their fair share of bubbles, two things really stand out to me ... “  “ If that was actually people sitting there - ( from what I know ) - living people don't have reflective eyes like animals. “  “ This balloon MOVED OUT OF THE WAY SO THEY COULD PASS. “  “ Rich history of bloodshed is not always conducive to being left alone if you can see things that others don’t.  “ “ The child talking to the vent, the child afraid of the other mother in her closet and that last video would have me setting my house on fire. “ “ Not to be super dismissive of the child ... but,  the child is describing Coraline. “ “ WAIT !!! Let me get my lettuce !!! -- Ok, got it ! We can start ! “  “ It just worries me how quick people jump to supernatural conclusions when it has to do with their children, because there could just be something going wrong with them. “  “ Long story short, I'm a little uncertain on the science, but if that's true, it means that the figures in the camera weren’t human. “  “ I would drop dead on site if I saw that 3 times in a row with them staring back at me. “  “ Pro Tip: 1.The farther the noise, the closer it is, 2. never whistle at night ( it attracts them ), 3. never say their name - ( traditional or local name ). “ “ That ‘ help me, somebody ! ‘ one is the biggest NOPE ever. “ “ I've heard many stories of spirits trying to lure people into the water to drown them. “ “ Demons scare women mostly. " “ ‘ Sir, with love & light ... you kind of look like chris pratt. ‘ ... I DIED ! “  “  If those girls are faking it, their mother should definitely get them in the acting. “  “ The ghost is watching this with us like, ‘ There’s not a chance we’re doing that. I don’t care what you say, I am a grown-ass adult, and so are you ‘ ! “ “ Ghosts do be crab dancing tho ... " “ Picture it: ‘ Terrifying tiktoks you should NEVER watch alone ‘ then, me alone: * presses play * “ “ The thing I don’t get about the kid in the basement is how they managed to get a kid to stand, in the dark, in a terrifying basement ! “  “ Looking back, I'm sure I looked really creepy. “ “ ‘ I think she's just .... vibing ? Ma'am this is a Walgreens ! ‘ ... I lost it. “  “ OMG love that you named your ghost ! We just named ours ' demon ' ( ikr we're so creative ) but he doesn't really do much, just the casual stuff like watching us, throwing things ( which doesn't happen very often ),  peeking into our rooms at night, walking down the hallways, giving me chills,  y'know just casual ghostie stuff ! “  “ That stick bug was a um … naked person walking on all fours. “  “ The only thing that keeps me from falling asleep, ( or, falling back asleep actually ), are my own horrifying nightmares. “  “ Your laugh at the Arby’s™ receipt ... LMFAO. “  “ I just want to know WHAT those little girls saw !!!! Their terror was pure and real. “  “ ‘ This is what my ghost does to me ! ‘ ... as if she owns the ghost. “  " That was really freaky ... I wanna watch it again. " “ You can find haunted dolls in the woods when you actually go to said woods. Take an internet break, and go see what you find. It’s really easy ! “  “ Me with any small child entity ever present in the same area as me: * Does not immediately book it and just sits calmly down waiting to see if they'll calm down because I have way too high of a parental instinct * ... My family: GIRL STOP, STOP IT YOU NEED SOME HELP THAT IS A DAMN DEAD CHILD - !!! “  “ ARE WE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE THING THAT CRAWLED TOWRDS THE MAN AS HE WAS RUNNING TOWARDS THE CHILD ????? “ “ Saw a ghost at my nan’s house once, told it to fuck off, and you know what ? HAven’t seen it since. “  “ I was given a doll that a woman was going to bury in her back yard, she never explained why. I've had her a year now. “ “ DUDE, my grandparents have that EXACT statue that the guy found in the woods. It's not originally painted, it’s just bare stone so whoever owned it hand painted it for whatever reason. “  “ The person in the bedroom looks like is using a mask and just breakdancing on the floor, lol ! “  “ Dude, the emergency sound in that video towards the end ? It hit all of my nope buttons ! “  “ Guess demons are trying to bring me to their dimension ... “ “ Hey boy, It’s us, ... your demons ! “  “ I would totally leave that little girl outside ... why she outside in the first place ?! “ 

[pcyshi]

Right person, wrong timing. Optional Bias.

|| Optional Bias x idol!reader

|| genre: fluff, angst, some college!au, almost lovers au

|| warnings: sad ending, very messy writing?!?!

|| Requested: YES / NO

|| words: 2.4k

please tell me if there are anything more i should add on the warnings also feedback is appreciated p_p

summary: Y/N tells the story of her first crush on MMTG

A/N: The approach of this story is more like Y/N's pov? It was all flashbacks. If you don't know what MMTG is, kindly search on yt! These are one of my shower thoughts, idk why I subconsciously think about these stuff while showering.

it's also been a while since I posted!! I recently had a break bc of my bday but I think everything's fine now! I will try to post more

Every time your company informs your group about another show appearance, everyone just acted normally and is looking forward to the event. But something was different when your manager mentioned a proposal from MMTG staffs that they wanted your group to promote and visit the show. Jaejae was one of the kindest mc's you've met though you haven't had any projects with her before but you were sure she was fun to hang out with. Well according to Seungkwan and Kibum.

MMTG was something your members and you watched every time a new episode releases, it wasn't a surprise when everyone dramatically gasped and said they want to do the guesting. When everything got arranged and was confirmed to the public, you were happy about the positive comments everyone has been leaving around SNS.

It wasn't that long when the day finally came. You were unable to keep the smile off your face while your hair stylist was fixing your hair. When everyone arrived at the filming set, a warm sensation went through your body. You've only seen other artists visit that set and now that you were there with your members, you thought that this was the real meaning of success.

Jaejae appeared and bowed at everyone and so did the rest of your members. The staff did the final checking before rolling the cameras. Your group was asked to go hide in the closet for the opening and when Jaejae announced that your group was there, everyone went out and did greetings.

She then started to talk about how dope your new comeback is and the members talked about how they loved her show. It was a complete mutual obsession between the host and the guests and that's what made the show light up and get fun second by second.

It was no secret to the public how most of the members of the group are starting to date, including you. It became a huge topic around social media when you accidentally spilled you were indeed dating someone. Clearly everyone wasn't expecting it as you were publicly open how you weren't interested in dating before you turned 19. At the age of 19, you started to wonder about how really love felt after hearing such stories from various of friends.

After being raised in a very high class, intelligent family, you started your school years at home. You had only managed to go to a real school during grade 9th and you weren't even there from the start. You enrolled in the middle of the school year but everything went fine.

Jaejae suddenly mentioned something about your first crushes after your recent comeback song is about love, keeping on the category. "How about you, Y/N-shi? Can you tell us about your first crush? Like the real actual crush not celebrity crush" Your eyes widened at the question and the members started laughing, so did you. You asked her if she was really serious and she said yes.

You started to go back through your thoughts. It was during college when it happened. Someone from the volleyball team had caught your eye. You were really into the sport and has been supporting your academy's team since then but after one particular game, you couldn't take your eyes off of him anymore.

Everything was kept lowkey. Everyone knew that you were already a trainee so everyone knows who you are and you were quite popular among the guys but as the kind, committed-into-studying-first girl, you were not interested in dating. Thinking that this was a very big distraction to your studies and training.

Not to mention, even if it is kind of embarrassing to say to everyone, you were clueless about love and dating. The concept of that was something you avoided while growing up. It wasn't really your thing before, hence, if someone confessed to you, you didn't know what to do. So you came up with an idea.

Fake a boyfriend. A real person to do this role wasn't needed and it indeed kept the boys out. Not a single soul knew about your crush on him. You weren't even sure if he knows you or atleast have heard your name as he takes a different course.

Then one day, you decided to try and be a bad student for the first time and cut classes. The lesson was pretty easy and it was not a major subject. Walking through the streets after leaving the campus, you went straight ahead to the nearest convenience store to pick up snacks and a drink to beat the summer heat.

Arriving at your destination, you opened the door then realized, maybe cutting classes that day was a bad idea. You were given with a scene of H/N paying for the items he bought. When you froze for a moment, trying to understand why was he there despite having the same time of dismissal, he noticed your presence and that's when you tried to walk past him to grab everything you needed.

But again, everything wasn't going your way. "Hey L/N Y/N, you cutting classes?" you stopped on your tracks, so he does know my name. You thought. Releasing the tension your body was hiding, you sighed as you turned around him to ask him the same question. He laughed at you, still waiting for the cashier to finish scanning his stuff. You grabbed a pack of gum and a drink before going behind him to pay for yours.

"What are your plans now? Why are you cutting classes alone?" He asked. There wasn't really a reason. You rarely found peaceful times while balancing training and studies and it was also your first time doing this. "I don't know maybe go at the arcade or something"

"Good timing I'm also headed there. Combine your stuff here, I'll pay for them" he said coldly but in a friendly way. He wasn't even fully looking at you when he did and the fact that you barely know each other is making the situation more confusing to you.

"You don't really have to. Besides, it's not like we know each other" you said with a laugh.

He suddenly introduced himself and so did you. He talked about how good you were playing volleyball but it was understandable how you didn't want to join the team. He was a chill kind of guy, although he is towering you when you stood beside him. You were confused, you didn't know what was happening to you. Your heart was beating so fast you're not gonna be even surprised if he points it out.

--

After everything, you both took a walk towards the arcade while having a small talk. Mostly about school, but you wanted to know more. Hours has passed when you started playing and it was unbelievable how time passes by when you're having fun. There are still time before dismissal and you plan to go home 30 minutes after that settled time. Surprisingly, he doesn't have any plans as well and had asked you out if you want to come with him to a basketball court.

At this point, you were going nuts. You never knew you had something for sporty guys and it was insane how you felt like melting the moment he had started to play basketball by himself, watching him do so at the corner with a small smile on your face. He noticed how focused you were and asked you if you want to learn and play. Who the hell says no when your crush is willing to teach you play basketball?

You quickly ran to him and he explained how you should throw the ball and corrected your posture. He was breathtaking, very close to you as you tried to listen to whatever he's talking about. After a few tries, you finally succeeded and managed to shoot the ball few times before you realized you were tired - but having fun.

While squatting down, breathing heavily, a sound of a phone ringing - which is yours, break the comfortable silence. It was your phone, indicating that classes were already dismissed and you were ready to go home. It was also pretty late. You thought everything wasn't going your way but by the looks of it, you don't regret a thing. As of now.

"I really had fun today. You're a nice person, we should do this again sometimes. See you around!" he bid you a good bye before running out the court. A smile was plastered on your face and you palmed your forehead, still trying to comprehend everything that has happened. The last time you felt like this was the time your friend had surprised you with a concert ticket of your favorite band. It was definitely something you wanted to experience over and over again.

--

After that day, you kept your friendship with him lowkey. You would hang out with him after school, avoiding to cut classes again. The longer the two of you would bond, the longer you felt yourself admiring him.

Everything was great. Until graduation came. It was time to say goodbye to everything about school and it was time to start a new chapter in life. The day of the graduation was exhausting, media and fans were everywhere, supporting you on your new achievement. You haven't even debuted and yet, people are already liking you after being so talented.

When you saw him, you gave him a smile and a hug. The goodbye was a rushed one and it was something you would probably regret for a long time. After pulling away from the hug, you stared at each other as if there was something you both were longing to say. But it was interrupted by his friends pulling him away to take a picture. He looked back at you and gave you a wave and you waved back.

It was not the nicest goodbye to say the least. You didn't know if it was even considered goodbye.

--

It wasn't that long before you had finally made your debut and it was spreading widely across the globe. 3 years into the career, you moved on from him - the last time you saw him was at the graduation. Not a single contact after that was made. You understood everything why this was happening and you hope that he did too.

Then one night, while going to a barbecue place alone, you spotted someone very familiar across your table. He hasn't noticed you yet, very focused on the chat he was having on his phone. You tried to look at him more, figuring out if it was really him. He then looked up and met your eyes. You were wearing a mask for protection but he was sure they were the same eyes he used to admire.

He let out a small wow and you both laughed.

"Y/N?"

"H/N?"

When you had asked him to sit down with him and it was nice to meet him again after losing contact, it was a nice idea to catch up on everything you had missed in the past 3 years. He mentioned that he had found a stable job 7 months after graduating and he congratulated you for the successful debut.

He started to mention about how you guys would hang out during college. Bringing up every topic he had at the top of his head while you were cooking the meat, and sharing some of your thoughts too.

You gulped down your drink and it silenced for a moment. He let out a sigh before saying "you know... the day we cut classes, the day we went to the arcade and taught you basketball, I had a crush on you. Every time I would hang out with you felt like I was dating you and that was something I wanted but I knew you had a boyfriend so I brushed it off."

You were surprised by everything he had spilled. You didn't know if it was because of the alcohol, or he's completely sober. But the need to speak and tell him your side despite not being sure about his current state went over your mind.

"A-are you serious? I also had a crush on you before... before that day happened, actually. About the boyfriend thing... I only faked it and told everyone I had one because I thought it would be a huge distraction for me." You stared at each other for a while before laughing at the sudden confessions.

--

"After that, did you guys started dating?" Jaejae asked, you felt a big pang on your heart before deciding to tell the rest of the story. It wasn't exactly something everyone should be excited at, but they were curious.

While catching up with him, he has mentioned that he's planning something.

And that was propose to his current girlfriend.

And on the other side, you were already dating someone you had met in the industry. You were proud of him but at the same time, you felt bad for yourself. How could things even go this way?

Right... you lost contact.

You told him that if he wants you to sing at his wedding if ever she says yes, it would be an honor to do so. You exchanged numbers that night before parting ways once again.

"It's nice talking to you again, Y/N. Let me know anytime your boyfriend hurts you! I will punch him in the face for hurting my best friend. I'll let you know if she says yes" he said with a smile. The smile he always used to give you. He hasn't changed.

"Me too, I missed you! Just tell me if you need help with the proposal. I would be glad to help my best friend."

--

Everyone gasped, including some of the staffs. It was a very unusual event to happen but it turns out, you were both the right person for each other, only happened at the wrong time.

After a few more sessions of talks, the shoot ended and bid everyone goodbye. It was indeed a very nice day and the weather was welcoming. In the middle of the car ride towards your dorm, a ding was heard from your phone. You looked down to look at the notification and it said

H/N - 6:37pm

She said yes!

NAVIGATION

[neylia18]

What is Reality Shifting?

• Shifting terms:

Cr/Or: Current Reality/ Original Reality

Dr: Desired Reality

Alt Dr: Alternative or Parallel Reality [Fyi this is just a term I use specifically]

Wr: Waiting room

First to start off on Reality Shifting I want to mention the multiverse theory.

The Multiverse Theory is essentially the theory that multiple realities/universes exist at different times, places, etc.

For instance: You had pancakes for breakfast instead of cereal.

In another reality you had cereal instead of pancakes.

Essentially every choice we didn’t make or will make in the future exist in another reality. It’s hard to wrap your head around it but that means there is an infinite amount of realities just based on you.

That being said it means that every TV show you watch every book you have read, or even write exists. Which means that you also exist within those realities.

So what is shifting?

Also known as Quantum Jumping, Shifting is becoming aware of the reality you want to go to. Keep in mind you already exist there, your not creating another reality, your just becoming aware of that one.

You are already aware/conscious in this reality. You see, hear, and feel things and identify it as your current/original reality. But this is not your only reality. So if you want to experience having powers or being famous or want to study for a test. Just shift.

How do you shift?

All you really need is belief and intention which sounds really easy, and to most it is, but to some it can be a struggle.

[YOU DO NOT NEED ANY OF THESE TO SHIFT BUT IT HELPS PEOPLE SO IF IT HELPS YOU THEN GOOD IF NOT DON’T STRESS]

Many people rely on methods to shift, I listed a Google doc (not made by me) which includes some methods. Methods help people to shift by getting them in a state in mind where it is easier for them to become aware of the reality they are going to.

Methods range from shifting in your sleep to shifting while your awake. It also ranges from Visual methods (where you essentially daydream (but we use visual to be fancy) about your dr) or non-visual methods.

Some use guided subliminals (just search guided shifting subliminal on YT). Either tied to the method they’ll do or to get shifting motivation. (Again just type shifting motivation subliminal)

You do not have to follow these methods to the exact line nor do you have to play any subliminal.

• For asleep methods you shift after you fall asleep and awake methods you shift while your awake.

You can mix and match or make a new method if you want, the point it to get you relax or in a state of mind so it’s easier for you shift.

Shifting

So what happens once you shift? Well you shift!

Essentially everything will be and feel real which can be hard to understand but it’s the most direct way to explain it.

Something I want to mention is symptoms which is what people experience while/when they are shifting.

Some people get these and some people don’t at all.

- Floating, spinning, feeling like your detaching from your physical body, white light, melting, hearing voices, (not as common) feeling someone touch you ex. Hand on your Leg.

If you experience these don’t fret it’s a sign that your shifting! If you don’t, Don’t worry you can still shift without these! The last two times I shifted I had no symptoms.

Now if your wondering what happens to the you in your CR/OR it’s like when you flips channels on TV. You are watching a new program and are focus on that program but the old program you are watching is still playing, you just aren’t aware of it.

Likewise you are conscious in another reality, but your subconscious stays here. You won’t act any differently than you are now and no one will notice when you shift. And when you come back you’ll still know what you did while you were in another reality. But now you’ll be aware that yes you shifted and will have memories from that reality as well.

Now keep in mind when you shift, it’s another reality. Which means the people there are real, it’s not a lucid dream or a video game. It’s real life. So if your Comfort Character acts as they are and perhaps not be as close to you as you thought. You can’t be like “I SHIFTED FOR YOU” cause unless you scripted they are close to you already, or that they know and fine with shifting. Then they’ll most likely think your delusional.

That was a lot of information!

Just remember that you are still you when you go to whatever reality you choose. You are You here as you are there! Not your physical body but your conscious, your mind, your soul!

Now also remember you can shift anytime with or without doubts because yes I know it seems like a dream to go to a reality. But we both know in the back of your head that you may be doubting this. And that’s ok! That’s why you can either reprogram your brain or just learn to accept your doubts. After all they don’t hinder your progress, I shifted 3 times and I still have doubts. It’s frustrating when you don’t get to your dr or wake up back in your cr/or.

Everyone is different! Some people shift on their first try and some people take weeks/months/years longer! But don’t get hung up on it!

Get in the mindset that if you shift you shift and if you don’t you don’t. You only hinder yourself if you say “I can’t shift” or “I’ve been trying to shift for ____ Amt of time”

YOU ARE ONLY SETTING YOURSELF BACK.

But it’s all so worth it in the end I promise. The journey may be hard (or easy depending on how you are) but the result is Golden.

So now that you know go and shift!

(Tell me stories when you come back!)

For more information/details check out the Reality Shifting Google Doc Link

Ask me questions! I’ll answer as best I can or give you sources to look at.

Shifting TikTokers I recommend following:

cShitposts // arielshiftingtips // shiftingwithreva // melodypond428 // shiftingwithreya.101 //

-There are a lot more but they are the ones who I believe should be mentioned -

Shiftingwithreya.101 also made a website that talks about shifting and reprogramming your mind which will be extremely helpful

https://Shiftingwreya.webador.com

Sources + Additional Resources:

• I strongly recommend going through these so you can have a better understanding on Reality shifting

• Remember that these are a few recommendations to start with but feel free to go on YT, find books, and other sources and not just TikTok. Personally yes, I found most of my information on TikTok but there are plenty other sources that go more in depth.

• Also note that I am sharing what was out for the public none of these belong to me.

The Marissa Method @roseamortentia on tiktok

Reality Shifting Google Doc: @claireshifts111 -TikTok

Reprogramming your mind Google Doc

Methods links: @lauren_shifting -TikTok

[nightswithkookmin]

Hii, me again. 😅

Jungkook made a three syllable poem with "min yoongi" name. At the last name of "Gi" He made yoonmin. Is he try to expose that yoonmin is a thing/ or real??

Ahjumma.... why are you being like this?

What did I do to deserve this ghettory?😟 It's too early in the year to be this ghetto uno.

Don't be like that😒

You are asking me, Goldy- GOLDY of all shippers, if I think JEON JUNGKOOK is confirming his boyfriend of seven years and counting is in a relationship with another member within the same group...

Doing what exactly in that relationship??

Is JK cockholding? What's going on.

KWENCHANAYO?!

You think BTS will survive two members dating the same guy in the same group???

Never mind that it's Jeon Jungkook and Park freaking Jimin- Mr I'm greedy and Mr I don't share my friends.

Like make it make sense to me please😭

After everything we've been said on my blogs for months now, you still asking me this??

You are bold, I'll give you that.

Now tell me slowly and in coherent words why I shouldn't pull your hair and give you three quick punches to your throat- ninja style👀

Someone get her before I snap their neck💀

For the last time-

NEITHER 🤺OF🤺JIKOOK🤺 IS 🤺 WAS🤺 HAS🤺 HAD🤺 PURPORTS TO HAVE🤺 WOULD HAVE HAD🤺 COULD HAD HAD🤺 HAD HAD HAD🤺IS HAVING 🤺 ANY 🤺ROMANTIC🤺 FEELINGS🤺WHATSOEVER 🤺 DESIRE🤺CRAVING🤺 WET DREAMS🤺 YEARNING🤺 PASSION🤺ATTRACTION🤺 AMOROUS 🤺INTENT🤺TOWARDS🤺 ANY🤺🤺MEMBER🤺 IN🤺 BTS🤺BESIDES🤺 EACH🤺 OTHER🤺

GET🤺 OUT 🤺OF🤺 YOUR🤺 IMAGINATION🤺

If you are new to the shipping community I suggest you familiarize yourself with every ships dynamics or at least Jikooks- if multishipping isn't exactly your thing.

Jikook's entire dynamics is founded on JK teasing JM to death. It's their thing.

He's said he enjoys teasing Jimin because he loves Jimin's reaction to when he's being teased. In fact, the entire group have said same about Jimin.

Did you see JM's reaction to when JK called out the Yoonmin comment in the dynamite reaction VLive?

Did you see RMs reaction too?

He is trying Jimin with these Yoonmin jokes. He's gonna get stabbed. Lmho.

Jimin reacts strongly to when JK in particular teases him with ships, Yoonmin more recently. Yet he didn't seem to mind when V did it.

V used to be the biggest Yoonminer on the planet rooting for and encouraging certain interactions between Yoonmin. Lmho.

Jimin himself perpetuates Yoonmin as a ship.

It would be an insult on his intelligence for anyone to assume he didn't know exactly why people ship two people together or what interactions and moments is considered a moment in shipping sphere.

Statements like, why can't Suga hyung look me in the eye, why does he say I'm irreplaceable to him, insinuates something and he knows this.

Once upon a time, JK couldn't look you in the eyes too. Still can't sometimes.

Jimin has a presence and he has a hold on these men and he knows it.

He goes out of his way to create the impression he and Suga have a very close bond and dynamic- I'm sold on it. Lol.

'5 Jms? As expected. You'll fall in love with them' not sure if JM said the last bit in the BE.TS Vlive, yall check for me.

It's crazy then that he turns around to react the way he does when JK teases him with his ship with Suga.

It seems to me, Jimin knows the intent and energy behind such seemingly harmless jokes- JK can be petty and passive aggressive with these things. You'd think he is joking but deep down he would be pouting and throwing tantrums behind cams🤧

It's Jimin apologizing and looking like his spirit left his body as he sat on the edge of JK's bed in the new Jersey VLive for me.

He needs to free Jimin.

Talk of things I'm getting too old for- Let's talk about why he posted his version of the bridge in disease online🤧

Not to say he shouldn't have posted it. I support that he did wholeheartedly. Deadass found his groove since he started unbuttoning the front of his shirts in 2020.

He's reclaiming the spotlight, putting himself at the forefront unlike before where he'd resigned himself to a supportive role watching his hyungs be at the center of things.

Now he's been talking about that he wants have sexy dance performances like Jimin, write rap melodies for RM, share his own music, try on a solo career one day- we get it. You found yourself Mr I'm independent asserting myself yall better fuxk off but chilee not at the expense of Jimin! 🤺

I mean it's a broad spotlight and they both can share it but damn is someone changing drastically. Not sure if I should be proud or terrified.

It's great and amazing and I'm really truly happy with where he's at mentally and physically since 2020- it's a great sign, don't get me wrong. Significant improvement. His becoming is long over due but he didn't have to grab the spotlight from Jimin like that.

Jk vs JM isn't something I'm a fan of.

It's a shame it didn't work out? What do you mean JK. I'm sorry but Jimin's version is amazing too!😟

What the actual hell JK😭

Back it up. This is not how to Jikook🤺

On guard sir🤺 on guard🤺

Dude did Jimin dirty🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧

I need a refund😭😭😭😭

Here I was waiting for y'all to get on your Jikook agenda and post that first Jikook selca of the year and you are there shipping Jimin with your bandmate and thiefing his shine. Who taught you that?!😥

Y'all are competitive but y'all don't compete with eachother's shine! JIKOOK 101😭😭😭

You share it😥

Show me where in the books this new development falls under. Show me

You winging it and it's unconstitutional😟

I rebuke it in Jesus name!

Someone beam me up.

You got these 13 year olds coming in my DMs telling me you are not supportive of your man's career.

I don't have time for this shit.

SOMEONE BEAM ME UP! Kirk!

If you've watched their Be behind video, and you've seen Jin talk about how RM complained to him when Tae chose Suga's version over his version you'd know where JK is coming from or where I think he is coming from having JMs version chosen over his.

Watch their Be self interview on yt too.

He said there's a melody he worked on for RM and when Jhope thought he got snubbed he recommended he release it instead- to quench his artistic drive perhaps.

That is why he released this song. He did it for himself. Like he said, he won't put out a song unless he was confident about it.

Suga have said time and again how the music and melodies they create never go to waste because they can repurpose it like he did with Telepathy I think.

Even JK explained he was reserving the melody he made for RM for a future group song.

He could have repurposed this or something.

When Jin talked about V vs JM's Christmas song and kept repeating how much he preferred Jimin's song to Tae's because Jimin"s was bright and upbeat, he made sure to clarify he wasn't implying Tae's song was bad. He was just indicating preference.

I won't lie, I was happy he preferred my bias's song but it made my VMin heart ache a little.

V and JM made very different songs, they shouldn't be compared to eachother in that way.

I don't like competitions. And I don't like when two artists are pit against eachother- which is exactly what these two versions of the bridge is doing out here.

I will literally die if in an interview JM is asked about his part and JK isn't. I can't do this😭

Those saying JM's is better make me sick, and those saying JK's is better make me nauseous. They both great. Point blank purr.

What's even more heartbreaking is hearing how excited he really was to share that bit with Army. Dude's eyes was glistening and everything. His bunny smile! 😥

Thats what makes this very hard for me.

The JJK in me is overjoyed and excited that he is doing things that make him really happy. I'm proud of him.

But the PJM in me just😕

I even feel more guilty that I prefer JM's version this time around😭😭😭😭

I feel like I'm betraying JK🤧

I was so happy seeing JM recieve all the love and attention I know he deserves.

Then here comes his boyfriend

'Hold up what about me!' Lol.

Imagine if RM releases the version of Blue and grey he made for Tae and it turns out we prefer that to the version Tae chose💀

Imagine that.

This has been a recurring theme throughout late 2020 to date. Jk's been choosing authenticity and self interests and passions over anything else and I couldn't be more happy for him.

Like we discussed, he's been learning to compromise too lately, which is great.

But honey this is a red flag. Deadass.

To me anyways😏

I've been a strong advocate for a certain level of independence and detachment in Jikook's dynamics because they lowkey exhibited codependency tendencies in their dynamics which is great for us shippers but not so great in the long run for their relationship or them as individuals .

Maybe I'm thinking out loud and prematurely here. I mean we are only beginning to have intimate access to their raw unscripted selves.

I don't think it's not that much of a big deal. RM and JM have equally shared their own versions of fake love on the internet but it is an interesting development in their dynamic to me.

I remember how happy JM was about his version of fake love, and it remains to date one of my favorite beats even though he was just spewing nonsense on that track. Lol.

He was so excited when he shared it with JK and Jin. He said when he showed it to JK the first time, JK said he loved it very much- how loving and supportive is that!

More of this please. Thank you.

PMS is a bitch y'all🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Has me in my feels about this.

I'm pretty sure JM is the one that even encouraged him to share his part in the first place. Won't put it past him.

'Ya Jungkook, release your version too'

'Army will love it'

'Right but I don't want it to seem like- Goldy is crazy you know'

'Goldy who now?'

'What about the thirteen year old fans-'

'Aht aht aht Who cares about them.'

Lmho.

I mentioned a few times on here how I felt JM seemed to have been demanding 'space' and a little bit of breathing room in their dynamic which was causing a little bit of tension here and there middle 2019 through to March last year and it all sounds like drama and speculation but...

May be if I told y'all I am a witch and my analysis of their relationship is based on mediums, phantom whisperers, empathetic readings or tarot cards y'all will leave me alone?🤥

Y'all don't seem to have a problem with the witches and empaths who be doing the same shit I do out here😒

Like we are all 'reading' these mens!

There's nothing wrong with 'psychoanalytically' evaluating a ship you know? Chilee.

Imma call myself a witch if it will get y'all off my back😹😹😹😹

I mentioned JK equally embarking on his own journey to assert himself within the group and within the relationship due to this?

But damn I did not see this one coming.

This is a red flag for me. And no, it doesn't mean they are broken up or having issues in their relationship.

Jk's TMI indicates they still been spending a lot of time together.

This is just a sign there's too much independence in their dynamic now- if you know what I mean.

Relationships flourish based on how attached we are to people- too much attachment is a problem, too little attachment is equally bad.

Jikook have always had a problem with over attachment in their dynamics in my opinion, to the point it was lowkey unhealthy- the jealousy, not being able to 'act professionally' within a group and work environment, having problems with being separated however briefly, constantly wanting to be where the other is etc.

Less attachment isnt necessarily a bad thing either. It means less of all the 'toxic' aspects of their relationship that over attachment brings but too much of that too can trigger anxiousness and insecurity and resentment.

Especially if one of them hates change. Cough Jimin.

With that comes all the wild aspects of love such as possessiveness, jealousy and I know JM doesn't do too well in that department...

In my opinion, I see JM as having a problem when JK breathes down his neck emotionally speaking, and at the same time he has a problem when he is too emotionally distant.

All this is interesting to me.

Who do I need to talk to to give me more of Jikook interactions individually or jointly?

I want to see more of their interactions beyond the overly staged, dramatized fanservice and official content.

Spending a lot of time around eachother and eating each other's ramen- pun intended, does not reflect on how intimate you are.

Intimacy requires depth and depth requires attachment.

How you treat eachother's needs and goals, dreams and desires is equally indicative of the intimacy in your relationship.

That has always been one distinctive quality of Jikook's ship.

And so I wonder the thought process that went into this decision. I know JM wouldn't object to JK sharing things like these or doing things that make him happy even if it has the potential to impact his own shine in any way.

Jikook don't compete against eachother.

I keep saying this.

Remember when I said I found it sus that JK was lying there staring at JM with his hands in between his legs?

Did yall see what the run editors said when JM and JK went up against each in the pool?

'Jikook don't play by the rules'

Jimin had to push JK in the water to end whatever ancient sex ritual foreplay rooted in kamasutra they had going on. Bless him.

And in so doing, he lost to JK.

Whenever they go up against eachother, one of them intentionally lose even though they are both very competitive.

Isn't that why JK said he'd rather 5 Jms so he can watch them compete against eachother?

When JK first made that post, I felt it was out of pettiness or a move to 'humble' JM.

I thought of when he'd posted that photo of himself with a hickey after JM had 'dated' him during the JinMinKook live.

I rolled my eyes and asked, 'what yall gays up to this time?' Why you out here humbling your man?

Anywho chilee we will never know.

At ease.

Signed,

GOLDY

[crystalirises]

The Stars Shine Bright For Us

Hello! So this is a FundynotFound drabble, the prompt was given to me by @lemonade-flowers-yt . Thank you again for the prompt :D and I hope it's okay cause I don't know how to write for George.

Also, @sweetsheeptiger and @sweet-razz-tea since you guys wanted to be tagged XD

Anyway hope you guys like this!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He felt a hand grasp onto his shoulder, breaking him from the foggy daze he had lost himself to. George blinked his eyes open, glancing over as a familiar ginger-haired fox hybrid sat down beside him. They were both on a hill overlooking the bright glimmering lights of Manburg as the occasional citizen flickered in and out of view through the nation's alleyways. Fundy sat down beside him, a content and adorable smile on his face as he glanced up at the twinkling stars in the night sky. George felt his heart skip a beat at the sight, stuttering to a painful stop as he realized he could never hope to see that smile directed at him. It was surreal, being close to someone he could never really have. No matter what he did, Fundy will never chose him. Not after tonight and not for any moment in time either. He was hopeless.

"How was the date? Quackity told me you were out with Dream."

Warm golden-flecked brown eyes met his gaze, a mischievous grin on Fundy's face as he settled a bit closer to George. George frowned, hugging his knees closer to himself as he waited for the inevitable gushing. Quackity had been so vocal about it during the cabinet meeting, enough so that Schlatt had to toss him out because they were there to discuss important matters and not Fundy's suddenly blooming love life. George was glad the goggles kept his eyes hidden from sight, knowing that there was no chance in all three realms that he could keep himself from crying. No matter how much he ached to tell the fox hybrid of his feelings, he knew that it wouldn't matter and he didn't want to ruin their friendship. If only he could've been clearer beforehand. If only he had just gone out and said what his heart wanted him to profess. Now it was too late, and George was going to have to deal with that. He began to pluck at the blades of grass, tearing at them. He needed something to occupy his mind, something to make it seem he wasn't all that interested in whatever Fundy did with Dream during their date. Maybe Fundy would drop it once he realized George didn't really care.

"It was great! We ate dinner, watched Treasure Planet, and um... You know... Dream's not much of a talker, is he?"

"You kidding? He doesn't know how to shut up unless you tell him to. What? He didn't talk to you at all during the date?" George couldn't help the slight tone of anger in his voice, his lips pursing at the thought of Dream and Fundy talking to the point that they probably ignored the entire movie. A wave of silence greeted him as he finally forced himself to look at the fox hybrid next to him. Fundy had a soft smile on his face, a wry grin that didn't quite match the disappointment in his eyes. George felt guilty at that, knowing that Fundy probably came here to talk to him about the date. Fundy didn't have many friends in Manburg. Schlatt was protective and would throw a fit if he heard Dream's name mentioned in repetitive succession. Quackity couldn't be trusted to keep his mouth shut, probably going out of his way to tease Fundy about the whole thing. Tubbo was too young to be pestered by such things. That left George. It stung but that's what he was. A friend. A companion. Someone Fundy could talk to. He'd never be more than that. Fundy would never look at him as if there was the possibility of something more between them. "He probably doesn't like you then if he didn't talk much... He's a talker but only with people he likes... But... You're amazing, Fundy. I'm sure if he didn't like you before, he's certainly in love with you after tonight."

"Hm? You think so?" George wishes he could scream as Fundy suddenly presses closer to him, his head resting on the crook of George's neck... Which wasn't fair as George was the shorter person here. He stiffens under the hold, slowly reaching up a hand to caress Fundy's hair. Fundy's ears were flat against his head, a happy sigh escaping the ginger's lips as his eyes fluttered close. George wished it could stay like that... Wished the world would stop turning so he could savor this moment. It was difficult, being in love someone who could never love him back... Someone who wanted your best friend instead of you. George moved in a bit closer, waiting for Fundy to quickly pull away at the sudden shift of movement. He didn't. Instead, he felt Fundy's tail at his back, wrapping around his waist as it began to wag. Why did Fundy have to make his life more difficult? He felt his heart practically burst inside his chest at that action.

George had tried. Oh, Prime knows he tried. As clever as Fundy was, he was also quite oblivious to signs of affection. The excessive amount of sleepovers and picnic "friend" dates he's invited Fundy to. The fact that he's always made it a point to sit right next to him during cabinet meetings. The "accidental" elbow bumps each time either of them had to stand up to retrieve something. The constant act of making sure Fundy didn't fall asleep at his desk and each time he did George would have to carry Fundy back to his bed. Their small little tradition of meeting up every weekend on the very same hill they currently sat upon so they could watch the stars and fall asleep in the other's presence until either Quackity or Schlatt came up to wake them.

He tried so hard to get Fundy's attention... But it was never enough or maybe Fundy did notice and just didn't know how to turn them down. George closed his eyes, hand combing through silky ginger hair as he took in the scent of freshly-picked berries. He knew that by morning Fundy would be gone, perhaps having run off to his new boyfriend. George would wake up to the sound of Quackity's mocking voice or Schlatt's gruff command, realizing that he was utterly and miserably alone. Fundy would stop talking to him, stop going on small "friend" dates with him. Maybe he'd even stop going to their hill... Maybe one day George would be left to stare at the stars by himself, reminiscing in a love never meant to be.

"I hope not, though. Considering the date wasn't all that great."

"W-what do you mean?" Did he sound too hopeful? Too interested? George cleared his throat, glancing down at Fundy who had shifted to look up at him. George wondered if his heart was beating too fast... If Fundy could hear it and if he knew exactly what it meant. George thanked his lucky stars that that the shadows of the night had enveloped them, his blush hidden by the darkness as he forced himself to stay completely still. This might be his final moment with Fundy, he didn't want to do anything that could possibly mess it up. Fundy was still staring up at him with those cute eyes that made George nearly trip the moment he had first seen them. Quackity had laughed at him at that, not noticing that George was too busy staring at Fundy - too enamored - to even offer a bit of protest against the duck hybrid's teases. "I-I thought you said the date went great. Did something—"

"I lied... We didn't have much in common and Dream clearly didn't want anything to do with me." Fundy didn't sound too upset at that, picking at the edge of his jacket sleeve as if he was contemplating his next move. George tried to keep himself from celebrating, from jumping into the air and screaming at the top of his lungs. Fundy wasn't taken (pfft Fundy wasn't taken—), he still had a chance here. The relief melted away as realization settled back in. Even so, Fundy wouldn't pick him. Even if George tried to make his feelings more obvious... Fundy would probably laugh at him, taking it as a joke on George's part. "Besides... While on the date, I kind of realized something. I think... I think I like someone else. Someone I didn't really realize I liked until, well, tonight."

"Is it... Uhm... Is it HBo—?"

"WHAT?! No! George, what the fuck—" Fundy cackled, gripping George's arm as he burrowed his face deeper into the crook of George's neck. He was laughing, sending goosebumps across George's skin. Fundy finally moved his face away, his eyes twinkling with starlight as he finally glanced up at George. There was a smirk on his lips, his shoulders still shaking with remnants of the fox hybrid's amused laughter. "For one so smart you're so incredibly dumb... Heh... Guess we have that in common. George, I like you. I... I'm sorry I didn't notice sooner, but, I like you. I really do."

George felt his heart stop at that, the world fading away as he lost himself in those gold-speckled brown eyes that looked up at him with such affection. He let out a small chuckle, wrapping his arms around the fox hybrid's form. Fundy laughed at that, both of them moving so fast that they practically toppled to the ground in a messy heap of laughter. At the end, they both laid there against the grass, hands intertwined as they stared up into the starry sky and talked all the way through the night.

They both fell asleep in each other's arms. The stars shining down at them from above, the only witnesses to a love yet to bloom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hope you guys like this! :D. Also quick mention, I started a Fundy One-Shot drabble thing on ao3 and I am taking requests. My account name is the same as my Tumblr's. But anyway, hope you guys liked this drabble :D

[sprawa-przybyszewskiej]

I cannot claim to know about this play more than some others (Ewa Graczyk, Jagoda Hernik-Spalińska, Kazimiera Ingdahl and Maria Janion, in alphabetical order, are the official Horsewomen of the Apocalypse in this topic), with a lot to bring to the table, and so I will sometimes discuss parts of it which are - at the very least at the first glance - absolutely and doubtlessly simple; but  by discussing them I hope to be able to bring into the discussion some new material, new evidence, perhaps - for the contrary of the popular belief.

I remember when I first read the scene between Danton and Robespierre, I was completely mystified, just as Maxime. To somebody who at that point knew nothing about the historical events, the exchange between them was very logical (and everyone knows how hard it is to obtain, especially in a piece of media where the author blatantly favours one of the characters over another). I am very glad then, to be able to say that while Przybyszewska did everything she could to humiliate and belittle Danton in the more visual aspects of the scene - his gestures, movements, actions, mimicry, even the sound of his voice etc.  - she didn't bother making him out to be a complete clown. His arguments are populistic, but that's not necessarily a bad thing when you're n politician aspiring to be even more than that. Perhaps she thought that painting him out to be a weakling would somehow diminish Robespierre's awesomeness, which is a valid concern. For Robepsierre has little left to do in this scene - it is made out to ba a confrontation between them, of sorts, but is it one, really? I don't think so, not for the large part of it. Robespierre comes in, dishes out few sarcastic lines, looks at Danton with disgust and contempt and then crushes him in a yet another sarcastic line and then leaves. There isn't that much he can do not only to participate in the exchange, but to be visually and audially appealing to the audience as a character in a play. And even though we all know staging The Danton Case is a secondary affair, the main thing you can do with it is to read it and ponder over it, when you do stage it, a lot of responsibility rests on the actors recreating the part. Which is why choosing a good actor can, potentially, make all the difference, sometimes going as far as completely changing the way you view the very same scene you read earlier.

I have always assumed by "the same man" they meant Robespierre. It makes some sense in the light of the conversation, altough I have to admit it makes little sense in the light of Robespierre's reaction. The question thus presented to us is: do we go by what is written, do we percieve a play as a piece of fiction in a real world, OR do we immerse ourselves in the fictional world, suspend our disbelief and for a moment treat it as an alternate reality of sorts?

Polish director Jan Klata has managed to put on stage a compelling retelling of The Danton Case and I would like to present to you a scene from his version, which we're lucky enough to have on YT, with translation courtesy of @that-one-revolutionary​. I've seen the play in its entirety: some metaphors were heavy-handed to say the least, some aspects I wish he'd done differently, but all in all, when choosing the main protagonist, the director casted in the role a truly splendid actor (please note that Marcin Czarnik was young. Young! It made all of the difference and it's worth watching if only for that), who brought home some of the points of character of Robespierre's which could have easily been brushed aside in order to highlight some other aspects of the conversation (the most famous example of this would be the very same scene from Wajda's movie, where the appealing and in all aspects imposing Gerard Depardieu dominantes the scene, thus presentign it in a very different ligt). While it can be read as a political statement, or a match of two great personalities, or a display of cunning on either part, Klata (or Czarnik; it's hard for me to say what the director tried to do with it, a lot of Robespierre's quirks, mimicry, gestures etc. seemed to come directly from the actor, which I can only say because I've seen him in other things and that's sort of his style of acting; all in all, I'll try to treat this not as a discussion over this particular staging, because for that I lack needed data, but it's unavoidable in the long run at least at some points, so please bear that in mind) treats the conversation itself as a minor thing in comparision to what is going on in Maxime's mind at the moment.  Just look at this: there is no significance brought into their meeting, no change of the scenery, nothing indicates this meeting is special in any way. The logical conclusion is, then:  it's not special. Both Danton and Robespierre seem to treat this as a step which cannot be avoided, but which bears no great weight either. The only reason they agreed to make this step altogether is - for "the same man". For Camille.

I do think Przybyszewska's intention was actually to disguise Maxime under this vague title. If this is a play about love - as I will always state it is - she wanted to underline the fact some people will be hatefully loved by those who are beneath them, who have nothing whatsoever in common with the object of their affection simply because the loved one is so great, so genius, so shining and bright it is impossible not to love them. I think this is the relationship between Danton and Robespierre (that is, on Danton's part) up until this point in the play. Danton idolizes Robespierre against his will (against both of their wills, really), because Robespierre is truly made out to be a demi-god at the very least. If you could team up with a hero like this, you should. So Danton goes through a humiliating process of trying to reconcile with Maxime, because humiliation, if everything paid off in the end, would be worth it. That Robespierre doesn't reciprocate the affection is simply a further proof that he is above Danton in every way.

Klata-Czarnik duo seems to have gone into another, subtler direction though. The man that both politicians make an exception for seems to be Camille, moreso because Robespierre loves him than because Danton has any special feelings for him. What is his relationship with Camille, anyway? They are cordial enough, but always a bit on the edge, and we know that Danton doesn't know everything that Camille thinks and feels in regards to Robespierre, mostly because he doesn't care that much, but also because he is characterised as a brute, and this simply goes above his head, it's too subtle, too delicate of a feeling for him to know it. It is also clear he knows Camille pretty well, but he doesn't know his soul, so to say. Therefore, he cannot actually love him, not to the point to make him the one and only excpetion from his otherwise coldly and precisley calculated plans.

Is there, however, a scenario in which Camille could be Danton's exception? Yes, when it becomes more about Robepierre than about Camille. When Camille is sort of offered as a mean to lure Robepierre in. Danton could make this exception only if it meant getting what he wanted (which is later mirrored by his blatant admission that the only reason he lets Camille take the fall with him is to deny Robespierre any joy in life after this point).

Robespierre, however, doesn't see it this way. He actually makes the exception for Camille and I think Danton's words – whatever he means by them, whichever interpretation we think is correct – put him on alert, for the fear of having his secret discovered. In the video linked above it is even more than that – once Robespierre hears Danton indirectly name "the same man", he gets aggressively defensive. For him to have someone like Danton talk almost openly about what he treats as his personal secret (a secret that Danton, being in great familiarity with Camille, could potentially know for certain) is equal with defiling it. I have violated your secret. Do you know what he says in the original? I have raped your secret. It really brings into the focus how much “the secret” needs to be protected, and how much it will hurt Maxime once it’s uncovered and destroyed.This is what he fears pretty much for the entirety of the conversation, his suspiscion somewhat confirmed when Danton says: No catchphrases, Robespierre. I know you.

As I mentioned earlier, the shift in my reading of the scene was prompted by the video. It is worth observing what exactly does Robespierre do when mentioing Camille by surname – he gets visibly more upset, he ponders for a split second for the best way to talk about him. His choice of words is interesting as well:

Both translations here are poor and I quite like what that-one-revolutionary did with it. "Katarynka" is a music-box, so "an instrument" fits much better (not to mention the obvious English connection to the phrase "play like a fiddle", which is adequate here). A parrots is after all a living being, something with a will of its own, if steered by more powerful handlers. But admitting that Camille, from his own free will decided to go against Maxime and everything that Maxime believes in is much harder for Robespierre than calling him an inanimate object, which can be unwittingly used by people with their own agenda. That leaves Camille almost blameless, perhaps careless and foolish, but not responsible fo anything that has transpired.Calling him names serves another purpose as well, which is to steer away the suspiscion that Robespierre protects Camille becuase he cares about him in a special way. He knows there are Danton's accomplices turning ears by the door, so he doesn't want to give himself away with his care and concern.

Ultimately, what do you believe, whom do you think they were referring to I think says a lot about what you think about Maxime's state of mind at the time. Danton's too, though, it can be used as a litmus test whater or not you believe he was honest in idolising Robespierre and offering him his adoration and obedience. In some stagings it will be presented as true, in some as a lie, and that's the beauty of adapting a piece of literature, there are so many options, all blooming from the same roots.

[lookingforhobi]

♡ tour ♡

TOUR (Part Two)

Summary: It was just a tour with your friends to explore Seoul. But life gave you Namjoon. Yes, Kim Namjoon, the leader of a world-renowned group BTS.

Author’s Note: This is originally planned as ONE-SHOT but some comments were asking for it. Long overdue because life happens but here it is finally! Please don’t reupload or make YT content without my permission. This is purely imagination.

Click the link for the part one on my Youtube channel

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x reader

au/genre/warning: too much heartbreak; mentions of self-harm, mental health issues; pregnancy warning, unprotected sex; aggressive

Word Count: 12.9k

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Your hands are shaking as you shuffle through the set of keys to your new apartment. This has been the biggest leap of faith you ever did so far. Well, aside from your craziness and dating Kim Namjoon! But you try your best not to think of him and remember the promise you made yourself not to reconnect with him anymore. You are here because finally you’ve gotten the offer in the University to teach- a dream that happened before you started knowing Kim Namjoon better, not just as idol but the real Kim Namjoon. You sighed when you finally open the door and immediately shut it behind you. It feels different and home sickness starts to creep in. The last time to set foot to this country was with your friends, with the goal just exploring what the place has to offer, but Seoul gave you Joon. “Here you go again with Namjoon, Y/N,” you sighed to yourself. Sometimes you wish you are in different world, in parallel universe. Maybe there, things would’ve worked out. Or maybe in another life, you’d be in the same world and life would be better. “Suck it up!” you told yourself. You can’t live in what ifs and what not’s. You’re here, now. That is what matters.

You picked up your phone and dialled your Mom’s number. Living away from home, with no friends around, in a place where your what ifs are, are kind of tough. You swallowed hard when your mom picked up. She was supportive of your dreams, but when she learned you’re going to Seoul she got worried. She knew about you and Namjoon, though confused what is the real reason of the breakup, she knew you’re in for another heartbreak once your ways intersect again.

“My sunshine, how are you? How’s the apartment? How’s your flight? Have you eaten yet?” your mom worried as ever. “I’m good, Mom. Apartment’s nice, but I haven’t unpacked yet. I just got here. The flight? Urgh, I slept before the plane takes off so…” You laughed. “that’s good. Do you have food there? At least eat something before resting. You can unpack later" You smiled at her remarks, you’re going to miss her sweet nagging and the way she babysits you sometimes. “Mom, I’m a grown-up woman. A strong independent woman. Okay? Don’t worry. I got this handled like a queen!” you chuckled. “Like me,” she added. The call run for what it feels like forever, as you talk about your goals and schedules and anything, you started unpacking your stuff. Placing the family photos carefully and making sure your apartment feels like home one way or another. You smiled seeing your friends’ photos. It was the greatest adventure that winter. It was unexpected, the events were unplanned, it left a big impact of your life..and to think about it, it is one of the reasons you decided to pursue your dreams. Partly, Namjoon pushing and keeps on bugging you to, but mainly because this is where you dreamt of settling way long before you knew BTS exist. Your fascination to South Korea, the culture, tradition, and history of the place made you fall in love, added the amount of KDramas you grew up with- being Goong on top of the list because of the historic and cultural twist of that rom-com.

“Rom Com,” you laughed to yourself. The word that got Namjoon puzzled the first time you talked about favourites. He made a lot of funny poetic thing out of those words, clearly making a big deal of flexing his brainy ass! You smiled to the memories of your dating journey. But as soon as you realised, bitterness and sadness took over again. It has been 3 years since the breakup, and you can’t still take it out of your system. You blamed yourself for being a weakling, a coward. Overly dramatic and pathetic. Well, that is what other fans told you when they found out he’s dating someone. Great thing is BigHit got to intervene before people starts digging into HER that makes Namjoon’s heart flutter and inspired. Writing the song HER in record-breaking time. You can’t bear to hear it now without crying your eyes out for days. It teared you out completely, leading to issues that needs professional help. He didn’t know about that, of course you would never say it. You ended the relationship without further explanation. You dropped it like it doesn’t matter anyway. “It was just a fling.” That was what you said. But you know clearly it was not.

Of course, it’s hard dating an idol. The moment you stepped into the airport when you left after your Seoul getaway, you knew it won’t work. You cling on to the promise that he’d make time to visit you secretly, or make sure you can come to their concerts if your schedule permits. But as life gave you Namjoon in an unexpected time, fate decided to give you the bitter reality. He missed your calls, he forgot your birthday, he’d text once a month. You tried to understand all of that. He clearly has dreams to chase, and you can’t expect him to be with you-especially with their growing popularity. All the concerts, and pressure of producing new tracks, is too much for him…and you came along. Another added stress to what is already on his shoulders. He pleaded to make it work, but you knew it won’t. The biggest part-lack of human touch. You crave for it. You needed it. You needed to be reassured, and you consider touch as your love language. And it is very impossible for two people living miles apart. Heck, worlds apart! At first, you find ways. But virtually, is nothing compared to what you’ve shared back then. The amazing touch, sounds you never knew existed, his deep voice moaning your name… You shake your head once more. “Not gonna happen again. 3 years, Y/N. He moved on. You broke the poor man’s heart because you’re weak. So let him go. Let go!” you say that every day, like a mantra that keeps you going through the whole day.

You opened your SNS to check up on your friends and update them of everything. They are already planning of visiting you. Unlike with them, they did not break Yoongi and Jimin’s hearts. They made it clear after that triple date not to get involved emotionally. They knew better, you did not listen to them, hence they named you “the hard-headed, heart-breaker”. You love their honesty though, and the way they put up with all your drama and crying and making sure you’re attending therapies. It’s not that you’ve attempted to end your life though, you just didn’t find any more reasons to do the things you used to love. You started drifting away from everyone else, shutting doors even to your mom, your blank stares , and the forgotten ways to find happiness. They were the first to notice you drifting away from life. They initiated therapy sessions, made sure you were never alone but still maintaining your independence, and still respecting your privacy and preferences. They are your lifeline. And without them here, it is a tough journey. But you know, you were never alone really. You found your ways of dealing and living with it, you know the pre-warning signs. You grew stronger through it all.

By the end of the day, your apartment is tidied up, all your stuff are organised, and you felt yourself starving. You decided to have a walk around the neighbourhood, looking for essential spots around the area. You found your way towards one convenience store, and that is when it hits you. Looking straight ahead, his face is plastered everywhere- even on drinks! You wish you could just have amnesia and forget you ever met. If you could just start over, you would not let a strange man jumped into your taxi from the airport. You sighed as you try to ignore his grin from the coffee canister. You picked Hoseok instead. Their group has gotten huge that if you meet people from the outer space, they will certainly know about them, too. The idea made you smile, and as crazy as it sounds. But that what Namjoon has always manifested- their message transcends to everyone. Not just being popular but creating an impact that could change one or two lives. Yet he clearly cannot see how one group touched millions of people, and continue touching and attracting positivity to every homes. You are so proud of what they have become. Not that you have personal history together, but because before you’re HER, you’re an ARMY first. You look back to the moments when you have been struggling and how the group manage to lift you up. Ironically, the leader became one of the reasons for your confusion and heartaches for the last 3 years. If there’s an advice you can give to your younger self- DO NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH AN IDOL.

Weeks by, and little by little you get to adopt and create a system of how you’re going to survive this new beginning. You have also met some friends which are so lovely, even some from your country. Luckily, when Hallyu wave is the topic, you can manage to explain the true reason of you coming to South Korea- which is their rich cultures and amazing landscapes. You’ve also visited the places on your bucket list with the guide of your friends, particularly Felix. He has been very accommodating and welcoming and would give you amazing trivia about the places. You spend a lot of time together and sometimes he’d pick you up at work. He’s a nice guy, and you’re starting to like him but you know you’re not ready for anything yet. You made that clear the first time you talked about relationship, but not revealing the identity of the reason.

Days rolled to weeks, turned to months and before you know it it’s been almost a year since you’ve moved. You have been thriving and surviving, managing to build a wall between you and all BTS-related stuff. It has been quite a struggle because they are everywhere but you were able to filter the Namjoon you dated, pretend he’s a different guy from the BTS leader. Because from what you’ve learned, he is really different from RM. Namjoon is real, RM is just a tiny speck of Namjoon.

Fate must’ve been really bored one day you went to a coffee shop after work. It was an unexpected get together with your friends when a familiar face appeared. Your heart begins to race, you feel blood draining from your face, and you hold your breath. “Seems like you’ve seen a ghost” said Ligia. You can’t speak, you just stared at Manager Sejin and Namjoon entering the café. “You said you’re not into KPop?” asked Jenna. You can’t find answers, you can’t think. All you want is to bask in Namjoon’s ethereal presence. He still has that effect on you. The photos from everywhere is nothing compared to the actual Namjoon. Photographers don’t do justice no matter how they try. The man’s beyond aesthetic. His hair, that silver hair you always compliment…and did he hit the gym? He clearly did, his shoulders… his chest…oh that veiny arms who used to wrapped around your waist. That chest you used to sleep on. You’re longing for his touch…. You sit there staring at him, not minding all the questions and commotion from your friends. Not until…

“Y/N?” His voice, his heavenly voice, waking you up from your frozen state. “Oh my. You’re here? Here, here?” he walks towards you and all hell lose. You looked at your friends and strangers looking blankly at you two. Manager Sejin manages to warn anyone not to take photos, bodyguards started coming in. But you, everything seems to be moving slowly. “Ba---” he was about to say it, as if it’s the most natural thing to say. “Nam—Namjoon. H-hi" you finally found your voice, shaky and whispered, but still manageable. You didn’t know how but your friends seemed to be nowhere. It’s just you and Namjoon now, even Manager Sejin seems to have left. “Why? How? When?” he asked. Not sure how to answer, you just shook your head. “I’m sorry. I can’t, I… I don’t know how to explain.. not now, Joonie" you whispered. He smiled but you know he’s confused as well. You stood there for what it feels like eternity. You longed to touch him, you wish you could. But reality is creeping in. If you do it, it’ll ruin your Namjoon. It’ll ruin him and the guys. You cannot afford to do that. You kept your composure and bowed, attempting to walk away. Because any second, you’d burst crying and it’ll be no turning back. Your friends will start asking questions, social media will be filled of your photos, articles will be put up, heck Dispatch has its own ways of finding even your whole information. No, you must leave now!

“Can I at least call you?” he suddenly whispered. “I deserve answers, Y/N" he begged. You looked at him, he’s devastated as well. Was he struggling for the past years too? Trying hard to hide his true emotions, putting up a show for the whole world to know he’s doing great? You nodded. “Same info", you replied. “Thank you. It’s great to see you" he bowed, too formal, too stiff. He walked away first from the back door as Sejin walked past you. You bowed to both at them as they make their way out. When they’re gone, the store reopened but you chose to go home immediately leaving your friends with all their questions and worried looks.

You turned everything off- phone, SNS, laptop…anything that could connect you to the outside world. Right now, you just wanted to be alone. Soak in your own tears and begin hating yourself again. He was few feet away, so near…yet so far. You pinched yourself to make sure you can still feel anything except the emotional pain. Any pain, anything that could divert you from the thoughts of what if’s. “fuck it!” was all you can say while opening another bottle of beer. Sometimes you question how you get so lucky that Namjoon knows your existence. Yet cursed because every move means you could destroy him. “I just wanted a normal life! Date a normal guy! Hold his hand in public! Kiss him in front of the crowd!” You started shouting, over and over until you get exhausted. Curse.

You’re woken up by loud knocking. You checked the clock and it’s 4am, you only had 30 minutes of rest and whoever this is means it’s urgent by how heavy the knocks are. You remembered turning off all your connections, your friends must have been so worried. You peeked at the door, a tall guy’s silhouette stands there. “The fuck you want? Who are you??!!” you yelled. Beer breath coming out and you’re starting to get really dizzy. “open up Y/N" he whispered. “Namjoon? How the fuck did he managed to find me? You asked yourself. “Sorry, wrong house" you answered. “You can’t fool me. Let me in, please. It’s freezing" he begged. “Fuck Namjoon, it’s 4am what the hell are you thinking?” you asked him as you opened your door. You have enough beer in your system to act brave as you face the inevitable questioning. His scent was the first you caught. And God knows how much you missed that scent. 4 years since you’ve last smell that, and it brings back all memories. But now is not the time to think about those memories. “You’ve been drinking?” he has a hint of annoyance in his voice. You chuckled “duh!”. He sighed and sit himself down. “Why are you not answering?” now he seems concerned. “Disconnected outside world" you managed to reply as you tried your best to walk straight. “Jeez, Y/N! You’re wasted. This is not clearly the time" he remarked. “Yes, Kim Namjoon. This is not our time! There will never be our time!” you hissed in anger. He froze by your reply, hurt perhaps, and you started sobbing yet again. “In another lifetime, perhaps" you cried before everything turned black.

You woke up with the worst hangover headache. Everything feels heavy, and the sunlight is not helping at all. You groaned as you roll over your bed and noticed your clothes on the floor. Sudden gush of shock rush through your system as you try your hardest to recall the events from yesterday. NAMJOON! You immediately looked for signs of Kim Namjoon in your room. Aside from clothes on the floor, you’re also wearing new set of pyjamas. “Oh no no no no no no!” you prayed nothing happened between you. It will be a disaster, and you can’t let it ruin your lives again. You quickly run towards the kitchen and notice that the bottles of beer are now neatly packed by the kitchen counter, the living room tidy and not a single evidence of mess. “Joonie?” you asked. But no answer. You can’t be dreaming. No matter how drunk you were last night, you know he was here. He was, and the note on the table confirmed it.

Took the liberty to cook you breakfast. Also have medicines for headache. Lemonade on the fridge. Answer my messages/calls.

-NJ

You asked yourself how can he act as if nothing happened? Like you didn’t break his heart and tore him to pieces? Are you that irrelevant? Worth forgiving without even asking for one? How can he move on so easily? You did this, and your suffering for it but he acts cool and pretends to be okay. You pushed the food aside and went on to get the lemonade, which another note was attached.

Food first before medicine.

You rolled your eyes. And sighed as you open your phone. Messages came flooding through. From friends, your mom, voice mails, and notifications. But above everything, an unknown number with lots of missed call logs. You debated whether to call back that number, as if you don’t have a hint of who owned this number. Like on Cue, the number begins calling you. You were startled and almost dropped your phone. Your heart racing and skipping a beat at the same time.

“Hello?” you greeted.

“Finally!” Namjoon groaned.

“Why?” you asked plainly. “Nothing. Just making sure you’re up and eating.”

“Yes, I saw the notes. Thanks" you sighed. Then followed by silence.

“I have to go. But I'll call you again" he said, and ended the call.

What’s new? You mumbled to yourself. It was like that. It started with calls like that. He was always busy, you get it. You let him be, talk to you whenever he can. You never asked directly or demanded anything from him. His free time means writing new tracks, and talking to you at the same time. You were okay with it. His voice calms you down and brings comfort. He would send surprise gifts, too, with the help of Abi and Maigne.

You decided to call your friends.

“Whattt??? He went to your apartment? What was he thinking???” Maigne freaked out. “I don’t know, I didn’t get the chance to ask.” You answered. “Y/N! You didn’t…..did you?” Abi asked with questioning look. “No!.... I don’t know! I woke up with different set of clothes” you looked down, trying to recall everything but to no avail. “You…aiissshhh!!! I don’t know. How are you though?” Maigne asked, concern taking over. You shrugged because honestly, you don’t know. “Is there…is there any news? You know, SNS?” you waited patiently as both of them tried hard not to spill the tea. “Hmm. Nothing so far. Clear from dispatch. Comeback goals…, few buzzed about Namjoon and mystery girl at a coffee shop.. nothing much.” Abi said, as she scrolls absent-mindedly through her feeds. “Yeah, same", added Maigne. They were busy scrolling that they did not catch your reaction from the last statement. “Coffee shop". “What?” they asked in unison. “That was me" you swallow painfully. “Why would you leave that detail???” Maigne asked. “I was pre-occupied with him barging in my apartment. But yeah, that is how we met.” And you filled them with all the details you can remember. They are confused as well, and have different opinions on how to deal with Namjoon. “We’ll be filing our vacation leave soon. Hang in there, okay?” Abi reassured and you smiled as you ended the video call. You didn’t bother calling your Mom about Namjoon, she’ll just worry and you know she’s had enough of you getting your heartbreak.

You let go and ignored the urge to text him again. Besides, you learned that they’re preparing for their comeback. What you need to prepare is how to answer your new friends. Of course you can’t tell the truth. “I attended couple of album signing and other events for BTS. They have very sharp memories,” you lied. They didn’t bugged you again, as it has become a norm for the fans to attend public events. Days pass and you decided to focus on your work instead of basking around the idea of Namjoon, or reaching out to him. But then you receive a message from him:

Namjoon: Can we meet?

You: Outside? IDK Namjoon. It’s all over SNS

Namjoon: I’ll pick you up. The guys wanted to see you, too.

You: Is that even a good idea?

Namjoon: They missed you

You: Should we be talking first? I don’t want them to get the idea that I’m coming back

Namjoon: ok

You know it hurt him, just as much as it hurts you. But it is for the better. They might get the wrong impression of you coming back to Namjoon’s life just because you’re here now. They might protect you, they can protect you. They have been always supportive of you and Namjoon. But the main concern here is- will you be able to protect them especially Namjoon? You’ve put him in so much stress and heartbreak already, you can’t let that happen again as much as you missed him. His image is more important than anything. It’s the best you can do.

You: you can come here. We can talk here.

You were fixing your dinner when you heard someone knocking. You are not expecting anyone, except Namjoon. You furrowed your brows, it can’t be… But when you opened the door, it is him.

“Hi. Wasn’t expecting you. I thought we’d schedule or something,” you stuttered. “Oh, did I catch you in a bad time?” he hesitated. “No, no. I just thought you’re busy. Come in,” you try your best to calm your nerves. Seeing him here, miraculously you’re sober this time, makes you want to cling yourself around his arms. Feel him, touch him. It took all your might not to do that. “I’m preparing dinner. Do you wanna…join?” you can’t hide the awkwardness, but he smiled. The most reassuring smile. “Sure,” he attempts to stand up but you signalled him not to. It’s like you’re both testing waters, trying to hold back everything. “So, how are you?”, he asked while looking at the photos on the table. You scoffed “Surviving”. He nodded and smiled a little. “You?” you asked. “Album prep’s going on nicely.” “No, Joon. Namjoon. You.” You insisted. “I like it when you call me that. And yeah, I guess I am trying to survive, too” Then silence followed. You know it’s time to talk about what happened, but you don’t want to ruin dinner. Stalling, you’re good at it. Prolonging your agony perhaps but at least you’re buying a little more time to look at him. The man who was once you called home. “Dinner’s ready. Wine?” you want to kick yourself for offering alcohol when you want to talk about serious stuff. He nodded, showing his dimples. Your favourite…one of your favourite parts of him.

Dinner was fine but awkward. He tried to lighten up the mood by talking about the new album, the past concerts, the craziness of the guys, and how they get full schedule for the whole year. You are very proud of them, how they handle everything together all at once. “How are you, Y/N?” he suddenly asked. “I told you, surviving.” You replied. He nodded. “Listen..” you inhaled deeply. He sighed; he knows it’s THE TALK you’re going to have. “I’m sorry for bailing out.” You dropped your gaze on the floor, not wanting to see how devastated he is. “I should’ve tried harder. I should’ve... I should’ve fought harder. But I just couldn’t. I had to let go,” your tears begin to pool in your eyes. Your vision becomes blurry. He didn’t move. He didn’t say anything. So, you continued, “You were the nicest guy- RM or Namjoon. And I just can’t be with you. I can’t ruin you, Joon. I won’t forgive myself if that happens. I can’t defend you. I can’t…” “please, stop” he sighed. “It’s not on you, Y/N. I was too busy I forgot about you, your needs. My promises” he sighed. “I knew it won’t work. But at least we tried?” you whispered, sobbing. “We did,” he whispered too, voice starts to crack.

.

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.

Months past, you focused yourself and everything into work that you never had any chance of thinking about what happened during that night. It was all dramatic but freeing. You stopped questioning everything and decided to move forward instead of dwelling in the past. He is doing well, too. You started to follow them on SNS again, started watching their new MVs and interviews. You smile once in a while, and ironically, their new songs comfort you. You were back being ARMY. Whatever happened in the past is far behind your control and concern right now. Besides, you are an ARMY first. You also started going to the places you once visited with Namjoon. Your favourite place to unwind and de-stress is the restaurant near Han River where you went on a dinner date. It was awkward at first, memories came flushing. But every time you set foot, it becomes your comfort zone. Plus the view is really relaxing and heavenly. One hell night, you were rushing to get away from all the stress of work, you drive all the way there only to be told that the whole place is reserved for VIP visitors. To your dismay, you sighed and stayed outside for a little while. While you were about to go home, someone called your name. “Y/N? Is that you?” You turned around and you were immediately enveloped into his hug. “Oh my! It is you! Wow!” Jimin giggled. “Jimin! Hi. Um, what…you’re here?” you asked in panicked. “Yes, the boys are inside. Come!” he pulled you. “I don’t think it’s a good idea, Chim.” You said shyly. “Oh don’t worry with Namjoon. He’s cool, he’s moved on. We know.” Your heart pains by his remark. “Yeah. But… I don’t know.” You hesitated. “Just drop and say hi then I’ll let you be. I promise. We just missed you having around.” He looked at you with puppy eyes, and who would not fall for that trick? Especially coming from sweet Jimin! You sighed and you let him lead you inside. “Look who I found outside!” Jimin screamed. They all looked at you, mouth wide open. You can’t bear look at them but you turned your gaze to Namjoon. “Y/N?” he stood up and walk towards you. “H-hi. I was about to go home. You guys enjoy the night.” You bowed to them and walk away, but Namjoon caught your arm. “No, no. Stay for a while. Join us. Right guys?” he asked them and they all nodded. You caught Yoongi’s eyes and he looks at you with angry look. You move your gaze to the floor, trying to contain your tears. “Yeah, Y/N. Join us” he said plainly. You know Namjoon felt the intensity of Yoongi’s words, too, but he shook it off. You smiled a little, unsure about Yoongi’s reaction. “So, Y/N. What have you been up to? Are you staying for good? Or you gonna run again?” he asked bitterly. “Hyung. Let’s not.. please drop it” Namjoon interrupted. The guys fell silent. You inhaled sharply, you were put in a hot seat, might as well give them what they want to hear. To hell with all the inhibitions and pretentions. “Look, I messed up, big time,” you started. “Y/N, we’re good. You don’t have to explain. We’ve already talked” he whispered. “No, Joon. We talked, but they didn’t hear me. They also need to know. What happened was not just between you and I. They were affected, too. I know.” You sighed. “I messed up. You’ve been so protective of me, of us. You did everything to keep my identity away from spying eyes. You protected me in a way I can’t protect you. I… I felt useless, I felt like a hindrance. I can’t come near you because I’m too afraid to be exposed. I can’t let myself ruin your career.” You swallowed hard before continuing.. “Namjoon went through a lot, I know how it feels because I got my heart broken too, you know. But you were there to console him, you have full schedule to at least help him get off his mind from me. I have nothing. I always had you to comfort me, but when it all happen, I can’t even listen to a single song nor can’t bear to say your name. You were my comfort, and I broke you. It’s selfish. I’m sorry. I will leave you be.” You started crying hard. Not giving a fuck of what you look like in front of everyone. You let your heart out, you’re

standing there vulnerable and looking pathetic but you don’t care anymore. You wanted to scream, you wanted to say you still care but you didn’t. You didn’t want to hurt them again especially Namjoon. “You know we are ready to risk everything just to see Namjoon happy again. He was doing well. Now, you’re here again? Why?” Yoongi asked without any emotions. “They offered me a job here. I know I should’ve rejected it. It’s dumb. But don’t worry, I will not get in your way.” You answered back. “That’s not what I meant, Y/N” Yoongi softens. He looked at you and to Namjoon. “Is there a tinge of hope when you accepted the offer, that Namjoon is part of why you accepted it?” he asked. You looked at Namjoon and started sobbing again. Because yes, you knew Seoul is home. You knew he was here. You didn’t expect nor look for him, but you let fate decide. You readied yourself of the possibility of bumping into him. Namjoon was about to hug you but you stepped back. “I can’t do this. Not again. I’m sorry” you bowed and run as fast as you could. Away from them. You opened up another wound, you did this. But you also felt relief for having the chance to explain to the guys why you did what you did. It’s for the best. Hopefully.

.

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.

“So, since you’ve fully admitted to be an ARMY, can we please please please attend their concerts?”, begged Ligia when they announced the concert details few months after the storm within you had settled. “Concerts? You mean not just one day?” you asked bewildered. “YES! I’ve been saving up and finally getting enough money to go worldwide!!” she exclaimed proudly. You shook your head, “I don’t know. I have to look at my schedule first.” She screamed with excitement. “No promises!” you replied laughing. You fixed your schedule the next day you went to work, great thing concerts are scheduled during weekends. The ticket selling was nerve-wracking though! All your friends-ARMY or NOT, help you buy VIP tickets for both days. But Ligia seemed to be wanting more so with her constant nagging, you both applied for soundcheck for both days as well. And life gave you what you’ve wished for- both days with soundcheck privilege. “You’re one lucky, bitch!” she screamed when you told her you got them, unluckily for her she was not chosen. “Well, it was your idea!” you laughed, “I’ll sneak a photo or video for you” you tried to console her. “Namjoon,” she replied. All of a sudden, you gasp. “What??? I said I like Namjoon. Have photos or videos of him doing Bapsae please!” she begged. The memories of your first night came rushing on you. He was indeed great in that movement. You blushed as you tried to contain the giddy feeling taking over you. “Sure,” you managed to answer with cracking voice.

.

.

.

The day of the concert and you and Ligia were too excited and messy all at the same time. Her enthusiasm got over you as well as you both giggle with the posters you made and the outfit you’ve chosen for each other. You were planning something comfortable but Ligia won’t drop the lace and harness the boys were wearing during the previous concerts and concepts. “I’m not sure about this. We’ll be standing, screaming, dancing and crying in these tight outfits for 2 hours!” you screamed. “As long I catch Namjoon’s glimpse, I don’t fucking care!’” she screamed harder. Namjoon, looking at other girls with these outfit. Bitterness takes over. You sighed and let go. You’re not in any position to complain. He’s heavenly, and his dark gaze would turn anyone into feelings not known even to themselves. You shake your head to dismiss another thought of him. The que is outrageous as expected! But one thing that is amazing- ARMY strangers turn into friends the moment you’re in the que. They are all friendly and giddy and for a moment you know you’re part of something big, a family, a universe. And for what it feels like forever you are glad you’re alive in this lifetime witnessing history made by BTS. Ligia decided to come early even if she’s not part of the soundcheck, she wanted to meet all the ARMYs and started distributing gift and tokens to her new found family. You smiled and waved at her when it’s time to enter the soundcheck area. Adrenalin pumping all over your system, like it’s your first time seeing them. You smiled, trying to recall the happy memories you personally experience around the guys. One by one, the guys showed up. Hyping ARMYs and the crowd goes wild. You were screaming as well, and then he saw you. Out of all the crowd, his eyes dart on you. He looked at you from head to toe, and back to your face. You suddenly stopped and bit your lips. The boys were busy saying something to ARMY but here you are locking gaze with their leader. You saw him mouth WOW while looking at you- in a black tight leather mini skirt, mesh stockings. Red lace bralette topped with black leather jacket, choker and harness all over your body. You were cursing Ligia for making you wear such outfit but seeing Namjoon’s reaction made you feel glad. He liked it, clearly. Then Hoseok went to him and bumped him, signalling they’re about to start the soundcheck. Hoseok saw you as well and waved at you with wide eyes and silly smile. Only then you heard ARMYs screaming and you’re taken back to your senses. You pinched yourself and tried not to be too obvious with what’s happening in your body every time Namjoon looks at you. He’s sending butterflies, making your heart beat faster, taking your breath away. You remembered your promise to Ligia and took the risk of getting your phone out. It is prohibited though, but you don’t care anymore. You’re doing this not just for Ligia but for memories of what is happening to you, to him, right here. Like he knows what you are doing he went near to your area, winked sending all the ARMY screaming. Then for a moment, they rested and talked. Hoseok laughed and looked at you and all the members nodded. Jimin went to talk to the producers and Yoongi talked, “Okay this is not in the setlist but guess what?” and on cue, Bapsae played! “Shit” was all you can say as they disperse taking their own places in the stage. And a tease as he is, he chose in front of you. Your eyes widened and he showed his smirk, and you swore as you almost dropped your phone. He was at it- hard and wild. Making you sweat, swallow, squirm and trying to compose yourself. You reminded yourself once again of the reasons why you both decided to stop trying. You were fine, but damn Namjoon teasing you like this. You can feel the heat on your cheeks as he dances in front of you, locking gaze subtlety. He’s enjoying this, and whatever it is you are teasing him as well biting your lips and parting them with a sigh. He laughed and shook his head when the song ended. “WOOOOOOWWW! Amazing! See you later ARMYs!!!” screamed Jungkook. And that marks the

end of soundcheck. Before they went back, he glanced at you one more. You smiled.

You were out and showing the video to Ligia when suddenly you received a text. You quickly grabbed your phone away from her just in time the pop-up notification shows.

Namjoon: Wow. Lace and leather huh?

You: Ligia made me wear it.

Namjoon: Suits you well, Y/N.

You: Stop. I’m not going for the soundcheck tomorrow anymore!

Namjoon: you got 2 days? Just my luck

You: Rest.

Namjoon: See you later.

You furrowed your brows to his last reply but dismissed it anyway. “Who was that? You’re blushing!”, exclaimed Ligia. “No one.” You quickly deleted the messages and hand her your phone, “You want to finish the video or what?” She giddily takes it and melts in her own world.

After the concert, you felt as if you’re drained. Every time a concert ends, it’s like it brings you to a state of separation anxiety where you don’t know what else to do except re-live every moment. It goes like that all the time. You hang in there till the next time you get to hype with them, and longing starts to creep in. They were beyond amazing tonight, setting standards for concerts to the highest. Ligia was so happy and can’t stop talking about them, now confused more than ever between who her real bias is. “So, who’s your bias? I was too focused and I lost count how many times I swerve lanes tonight!” she exclaimed on your way to your apartment. “I don’t have one,” you answered honestly. “They all hit you in different ways, you know? So I threw that bias list and hype up to whoever that gives me the most feels in different situations.” She nodded. “So glad I was able to see them live. We’re lucky” she remarked. Yes, you are. And to your luck, you noticed a car parked outside your building. Great thing Ligia lives on the other building so you went separate ways. “See you tomorrow! And be sure to wear the outfit we’ve chosen or else..!” she bids as she runs to her building. Your eyes started to linger on the car parked. You don’t want to get your hopes up but who would park there with an unreleased Hyundai Palisade?

You dismissed the thought and continue walking towards your door.

Namjoon: 2 minutes

You ignored the message and decided to reply later as you settled in your couch to rest. But your rest was disturbed at exactly 2 minutes. When you opened the door, Namjoon entered quickly, looking back if someone saw him. “Shit, took you so long to go home,” he remarked. “Are you insane? Why are you here, Namjoon! Fuck, there are people outside! You’re trying to get Dispatch expose you, huh?” He laughed and sighed, basking in the sight of you and your concert outfit. Suddenly you became aware of what you have done to him. “No. Hey, this is fun. But Namjoon, we talked about this.” You tried to calm yourself but your voice is failing you, cracking because of how intense he looks at you. “Why did you go to the concert?” he asked. “I’m an ARMY and I missed seeing you perform.” He chuckled. “I- I mean all of you. Pft, not you alone! You know.. you and the boys, and..” you are shaking under his gaze. “Yeah, and why dressed like that? You know you’re attending soundcheck and it’s not crowded” he whispered. You swear his low, dark voice, would be your death. “Ligia’s fault.” “Hmm” he replied and walk closer to you. You tried to walk back, you really need to walk away. This is going to be messy and you made mental note of how this would ruin you and his career. You know better, you have to. But your body froze, your heart beats fast, your breath shallow in anticipation. The butterflies went swirling and your heart just keeps on failing you. You blame your hormones for being too wild tonight, for letting it take over the moment your eyes lock during soundcheck. The intense gaze while dancing, the memories of you having wild sex that winter. The urge, painful urge of longing for his touch. The feelings are all too overwhelming. He feels it, too. That is why he is here, risking everything just to see you. It’s not lust, it’s not just mere body craving. It’s the longing you both have been trying to contain. You both tried ignoring it when he went for closure. You know how much he strained himself not to touch you, kiss you. But tonight, all of the what if’s and risks are slowly fading. You crave for him. God knows how much you miss caressing his silky hair, kissing his soft velvety lips, playfully poking his dimples. Seems like he can read your mind, he sighed. “Y/N,” he whispered and touch his forehead to yours. “what are you doing to me?” “Joonie, I think…” you can’t finish your sentence. You just want to grab him and kiss him like it’s your last day on earth. “Baby, I want you back” he whispered, longing voice, almost begging. “I need you, Y/N. I need my yellow. When you left, I struggled a lot. I am good at hiding, but this time, seeing you here. I am willing to take the risk. Please, come back” he hugged you tight you can feel his heart beating fast. “Namjoon, we’ve talked about this. It’s a big risk for you and the whole group” you cannot deny the fact that you wanted him, too. You wanted him and willing to do whatever it takes, but what if you ruin his image? The group worked hard to where they are now. You can’t just take it away from them just because you are deeply in love with their leader. “We are all adults, we are humans. We are not perfect just as the society wants us to be. We need love, too” he whispered. You melted, like a butter your heart melts away. Who are you to deprive the love Namjoon deserves? Who are you to take his yellow away? You are coward, and you’re making him look pathetic to be begging for you. “Baby, I want to. You know how much I love you. But what if…” he didn’t let you finish. You admitted that you’re still in love with him through these years is enough for him. He slowly dip his face towards you, inch by inch you can clearly see him brightening, gaining his own beam of light. He loves you, you love him.

Whatever it takes, you throw all your worries away. You kissed him. You let your love and adoration to Kim Namjoon take over. The kiss was surprisingly slow, no rush despite the years of being apart. You take it all in, passion and pure ecstasy. His lips as soft as ever, his hands caress your back delicately as if afraid this is not real. It’s like your hand has a mind of its own, you caress his soft silver hair. His hands travels from your back to your waist and before you know it, he’s carrying you to the couch. You sit on his lap, aware of all that is happening inside his trousers and the heat building up between you. You need to feel him, you want him so bad you deepened the kiss. His tongue gently asking for permission, and you let him in. Soft moans and gasps are all you can hear in the silent living room. Before you could go any further, you break it. “Why?” he whispered. “You still have concert for tomorrow, Baby. And as much as I want you to spend the night here, I do. God, I really do. But I want to-“ “Let’s take things slow” he finished. He smiled sincerely and kiss you again, more passionate than ever. You nodded and he pulled you into a tight hug. “Oh how much I miss you, Y/N. I don’t want to let go.” He chuckled. “Me, too. So much that it hurts. But for now, you are RM. And as RM, you have to be at your 101% tomorrow. Today, you’ve been so rough and full of energy. I don’t want to have that energy all to myself tonight.” You teased. “But what about your outfit? I wanna ruin it, rip it off. Replace that choker with my hands” he whispered. “I love that. But not today” you teased back. He grunted but brings you into a tight hug. “So this means, you’re mine. Right?” he asked. “Silly! I am always yours, Kim Namjoon. Always.” You kissed him once more, savouring the feeling of being enveloped into the arms of your man once more. You were enjoying the comfiest hug when his phone buzzed. He answered but still holding you close. “Yes. I’m here at Y/N’s apartment. Shut up! No, I’m going back later. Let me fucking enjoy my girlfriend, Hoseok! STOP CALLING ME!” he laughed as he ended the call. “What was that?” you asked. “He keeps on asking if I’m coming home tonight or if I want to meet them at the stadium tomorrow instead” he chuckled. “Hoseok and his cuteness!” you giggled. “They missed you, you know. They saw you today, and they keep on bugging me to bring you there” he looked at you, asking for permission. “I missed them, too. But we’ll work it out. After what happened to Yoongi, I don’t know if I’m even welcome anymore,” you admitted. “Hey. Babe, it’s fine. When you left that night, we had discussions. They fully understand now. He even asked about you today. He saw you, too” he explained. “And…?” you bit your lips, bracing for a heart-break. “He wants to make up. So please come with me after the concert tomorrow?” he showed his dimples, acting cutely. “What if someone sees me?” you are worried and questions are starting to pile up again. “We got it covered, just like the old times. Besides, we’re adults. We’re all going to date one day, it just so happens that I got you first” he chuckled. You rolled your eyes on him, setting your head on his broad chest. “You’ve gotten big” you teased. “Wait till I show you. Now?” he whispered. “Not today” you laughed.

Your next concert outfit was the complete opposite of yesterday. You choose to wear BT21 pyjamas, complete with headband and other accessories. Since Ligia is wearing Koya, you chose to wear Chimmy. When Namjoon saw you at the soundcheck, he can’t stop laughing and even pointed it to Jimin, to which he almost rolls on the floor with too much laughing. It was fun seeing them doing the things they love, and seeing Namjoon so happy today. Others also noticed it by the amount of SNS updates of how he was looking so fine today and his dimples deeper than ever. To your surprise, they change some of the song line up for day 2. They added Outro: Her. You have mixed emotions over that song. The song he has written for you in under 20 minutes. You were on the phone then, and suddenly he interrupted you. “Wait, baby. I have something… stay on the line” The next thing you know, he was singing. His vocals that soothe you, and the sweet humming while he tries to put it all together. When it was complete, he let you hear it. “You’re the first to hear this demo. My HER” he said excitedly. “Also, your tear?” you asked sweetly. He chuckled, “yeah, my start and end”.

And now, hearing it after the breakup and now reconciliation, it hits you. All to different places but most importantly in your heart. He is so sincere and innocent and pure, and your heart swells with pride. Kim Namjoon, the philosopher, all yours. You look at him while he’s singing on the stage and it seems like he’s looking for someone- YOU. You were in barricade, so you are very near the stage. You screamed so loud even Ligia was startled. “KIM NAMJOON! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! I WOULD NEVER HURT YOU!” And just like that, he saw you. He beamed and went to you, continue singing. To others, it may seem normal as the boys usually do that-even to the point of taking videos of themselves using ARMYs phone. But to you, it’s different, it is special. He sit, looking at you while singing. You stood there, calmly crying while Ligia’s looking at you then Namjoon then back to you, while her eyes wide open and mouth dropping. It hits her. She knew. But you don’t care anymore. You only cared about Namjoon. Your universe. When the song ended, they did their ending spiel. One by one they thank ARMY for two amazing nights and promising to see ARMYs again. They are set for world tour and you brace yourself for another rollercoaster ride.

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?” Ligia shouted after the concert ended. “What was what?” you pretended to know nothing. “The fuck! Tell me the truth! How’d you know Namjoon? First the coffee shop, then random texts, and now HER?” Ligia interrogated. “You have to stop reading fanfictions! Jeez!” you tried to shake it off by laughing at her reaction. “Oh don’t give me that shit, Y/N! Truth, now” she demanded. “Look, I am so tired. Can we talk about this tomorrow?” you smiled reassuringly. “You were flirting with him on the stage! And..” she gasp. “What?” You look at where Ligia is looking. “Babe,” Namjoon called you, walking towards you. “What is happening. I’m going to pass out! You… he..” she can’t finish her sentence. “What in the world, Namjoon?” you scolded him in front of your frozen friend. “It’s taking too long. I had to steal you away from…?” Namjoon looked at Ligia. “L-Ligia” she answered like she’s under a spell. “That’s enough drooling over my man, Ligia” you jokingly warned. “What the fuck, you traitor! He’s my bias!” she said jokingly but internally screaming. “What about you two get in the car before dispatch comes here?” Namjoon whispered. You pulled Ligia with you, who is clearly still in shocked. You were both greeted by the security, no other BTS members. They must have been too tired or having after party. “Where to?” asked one bodyguard. “The restaurant near Han River please” Namjoon replied, enveloping you into tight hug and kissing you on your forehead. Ligia shriek by Namjoon’s gesture. “So.. you two? If you don’t mind me asking?” interrogated Ligia. The security answered, “All information about personal life of BTS members must be kept in private. Should there be breached with the member’s personal life, please know that you are held liable and may be called to address in the court.” “Holy shit. That strict huh?” Ligia replied. You and Namjoon chuckled, and the body guard cleared his throat. “You’re in this mess, girl. Sorry” you laughed. “I still have a lot of questions though” she insisted. You shook your head and smiled. “Shit, I should’ve went straight to my apartment!” she sighed. “I trust you. But by this time, Bighit might have your information. Shhh. So” you joked around. “For fucking real? I don’t want my visa to be revoked over this relationship.” She laughed. “We’re kidding. And yes, Y/N is my girlfriend” Namjoon answered. “Lucky you! I might start crying now” she replied, literally teary-eyed. “Hey, I’m not gonna take your bias-RM, away. Kim Namjoon is mine, RM is for all ARMY” you replied. He tightened his hug around you, “I think I’m the lucky one.” He kissed you in the forehead once again.

The dinner went well, with Ligia talking and asking about how cool being the biggest boy band right now, the groups plan for the future, and keeps praising them and thanking them for all the music and inspiration they give to everyone. Namjoon feeds her with details about the preparation from the concerts while subtly keeping his hands tightly wrapped around your waist. He doesn’t want to be rude but you know he wants to rest now. When Ligia run out of things to say, she finally retreats. “so, how am I going home now?” she chuckled. “We’ll drop you off your apartment.” Replied the bodyguard. “What about you, Y/N?” she asked. “Oh she’s coming with me.” Namjoon replied casually. Her eyes wide and smirked, “oh..” You shake your head with her reaction. “Seems like you both are ready to bed, wearing pyjamas at concerts.” Namjoon chuckled.

After dropping Ligia, you went to your apartment to get some stuff. You decided to visit the boys and celebrate with them before they go to intense rehearsals for their upcoming world tour. They’re going to the US for couple of months and you have decided to stay rather than go with them, besides work needs you here and you haven’t had time to file your leave. You’re okay with it. You have manage more than a year without seeing each other, what is months compared to it. At least now, you know he’s just literally around the corner when they’re back home.

The boys greeted you one by one. They are as welcoming as ever, and unlike the previous encounter at the restaurant, Yoongi came in hugging you and ruffling your hair. “Welcome home, Y/N” he said. “Oh Yoongi, I missed you. Sorry about-“ he didn’t let you finish. “Let’s forget about it. It’s done. We’ll start anew!” He pulled you in and you settled beside Namjoon as they set up their table for after party. “Oh shit, we have VLive schedule! We promised ARMY!” reminded Jin. “Oh okay, no worries. I’ll leave you guys alone. Will just roam around Namjoon’s room” you said goodbye to them and settle in his room, opening your Vlive as if you’re not in the same house with them. When they started the live feed, you noticed your bag near Namjoon. “Shit!!! ARMY eyes!” you immediately texted him informing about the bag. He stood up and clumsily took your bag away. Comments came rushing on VLive asking about the bag and Jin trying to find a perfect excuse. “I am fond of bags” Hoseok saved him. “You want to see what’s inside my bag? Maybe I’ll do that on the next VLive.” He added. Namjoon came running inside, giving you your bag. “I’m sorry” you lowered your gaze. “Hey, it’s all good, Baby. Just an excuse to kiss you, I’ve been dying to kiss you!” He kissed you passionately until you hear the boys shouting for Namjoon. He immediately ran out, hair dishevelled and Taehyung almost choke laughing. “Hyung, your hair. A mess! You must’ve-” the boys cut him out and he realized he almost spilled the tea. They all laughed and being silly talking about everything they love about ARMY, the concert, and how excited they are for the upcoming world tour. They promised to go on live during their breaks and will go home as soon as it’s over. “We know you will be waiting for us, we will come back as soon as possible!” Namjoon promised. “In an instant, yeah hyung?” teased Taehyung once more, sending Namjoon blushing, and his eyes nowhere to be found. “Gosh, these guys” you laughed.

After the VLive ended, you went out and joined them to their after-party. He couldn’t take his hands off of you, drawing circles on your lower back. They are already getting drunk- Hoseok turning into tomato red, Seokjin louder than ever, Yoongi being savage but turns out he is really funny, Jimin can’t barely open his eyes from too much laughing, Jungkook dozing off, Taehyung started to sing every song on their new album, and your man whispering how excited he is to be finally introducing you to his family. You almost choke at his plan. Meeting his family is a big deal especially in their culture. You can’t just bring someone without being sure of your future with her. “You’re probably just drunk. Come on, let’s go!” you tried to pull him up but his stronger. He pulled you on his lap and start kissing you. “So this is what were witnessing every day?” Taehyung remarked. “Hmm mmm” Namjoon replied, mouth still exploring yours. “AISSHHH! Get a room!” Yoongi shouted. “That’s hot!” remarked Hoseok. “Oh my god! Stop! I’m getting turned on!” joked Jimin. You laughed and tried to push Namjoon away but he deepened the kiss. “Show off! Just clean up after your mess. Not a single drop in the our common area!” Seokjin exclaimed. “Baby-stop” you managed to finally free yourself from Namjoon. He laughed and you can now clearly see the expressions of the members. They have their phone on both of you, probably taking photos and videos for blackmailing. “Stop it, you guys!” you said embarrassed. You covered your face and they all laughed. “We’re just happy you are finally here, Y/N. Really. Namjoon’s glowing again. And he’s writing tracks more than ever” Hoseok commented. “I’m never leaving. I’m here to stay” you reassured them. “You’re gonna live here? Great! But I’m serious about the rule- if you’re going to do it in all common areas, please clean up” Seokjin commented. “No! Just learn how to knock in my room and even my studio, especially you Jimin and Jungkook” Namjoon replied. They both nodded, and the night ended with more laughter and more beer.

You woke up with a very bad headache and it took you minutes to make up where you are. Too many KAWS figures, bonsai plants, paintings… “Namjoon?” you immediately called out his name but he’s nowhere to be found. You went out and the boys greeted you, the living room smells like pancake and the maknaes running around chasing after the last banana milk that Jimin is holding. “Where’s Joonie?” you asked Jin while helping him prepare the table for breakfast. “RKive I think” he replied. You went there and smile at the sight of your man. Brows furrowed, lips plumped, he’s clearly in the zone of making another track he didn’t even noticed you walked in. “Baby, do you want to have your breakfast here?” you politely asked, trying not to disturbed him. “Oh, sorry I didn’t notice you, babe. Good morning, sunshine!” he enveloped you into tight hug and kissed your forehead. “What are you up to?” you asked, noticing the emptied coffee cups on his desk. “Working on new tracks. There are so much to do, I don’t want to miss the ideas that came rushing this morning” he pulled you into his lap and wrapped your arms around your waist. “Breakfast first, please? I don’t want you get sick especially you’re going away” you pouted. “Hmm, what about dessert first?” he whispered. You furrowed your brows, not sure if you have the same meaning of dessert. “What dessert?” you innocently asked. He pointed at his groin, which you notice a big tent. “Oh, need help with that?” you replied playfully. He winked and in an instant you pulled yourself up from his lap, turned his chair around and dropped on your knees. “Fuck,” he chuckled while quickly letting his fleece shorts drop. You are still amaze by the sight of Namjoon’s huge dick despite having to ride it many times before. The years without him, you haven’t forgot this amazing view and you’d relive it a million times. But right here, right now, you can’t help but be thankful of following your heart rather than living in what if’s. “Are you just gonna stare at it?” he chuckled. “You’re a god.” You managed to reply before slowly running your tongue along his shaft. You could hear his deep moans. He grabbed your hair to have better view of how you beautifully you suck his dick. You take it all in, tasting his sweet-salty precum. You circled you tongue on his tip, gently running from side to side, trying your best to please your man. “Fuck, Y/N. You’re so fucking hot!” he managed to say in between his gripped teeth. Jaw clenching, and clearly trying not to go deeper to hurt you, you gathered all the courage and deep swallowed him whole until you can feel it at the back of your throat. His eyes were wide and he tightened his grip on your head “Shit baby! You’ve been a practicing?” he has a tinge of annoyance in his voice. You’re taken back to that night when you first had sex, it was still new to you. “hmm” you replied, sending the vibrations to every inch of his thick manhood. You let go for a second to catch your breath. “No, sir. It was you, only you!” And that’s the truth. No matter how intense your longing for him or any human touch, you’ve never bed a guy even after your break up. You can’t think of sucking other dicks except Namjoon’s. “Such a good girl,” he managed to reply before you started sucking him again. Namjoon’s moan is all you can ever hear in his studio and you start bobbing your head faster, determined to make him cum in your mouth. “Shit baby. I’m cumming… fuck.. Y/N ahh” he filled your mouth with his warm, heavenly juice. You looked at him and swallowed, making sure no drip on the carpet. You suck him clean! “Fuck that is so freaking hot!” he exclaimed while guiding you back to his lap. “Your turn, baby” he whispered. You bit your lips and gently shook your head. “What? Why? I want to make you feel good.” He pleaded. “Tonight, my love. You have full access” you teased and bit his earlobe. He groaned and laughed, pulling you closer to him.

You went out after Jin keeps on knocking, telling the food is getting cold. They were all shocked and started laughing when you emerge. “What the hell are you laughing at?” Namjoon answered. “You realized your door was not closed yeah?” Hoseok exclaimed, chuckling. You buried your self in Namjoon’s back in embarrassment, prayed that a UFO is real and that they’ll suck you up any second now. “Shit sorry” chuckled Namjoon. “Pft, it’s alright. It’s not like Hoseok has been silent during sex, too” Taehyung respond. “Hoseok?” you looked at his innocent smile. “Shut up, Taehyung. It was a one-night stand!” he yelled back laughing. You shake your head over their mischievousness, somewhat it comforts you. They are adults, indeed. And they need skin ship, too, like everyone else. Sometimes, seeing them playfully talk about adult stuff and just being their own selves inside their house makes me feel like they have another persona. Being an idol must’ve been tiring, especially they started too young, and society has been very keen to each move they make. You settled down and joined them for breakfast, thinking about how lucky you are to be spending these days with them.

World tour preparation was tiring, even for you. You decided to go home that night but Namjoon asked you to come back. “I really wanted to make up to you, spend the days here before we go for the tour. Please, baby?” he whispered with his cute little puppy eyes. You can’t help but say yes to his cuteness. He giggled like a playful kid before calling the security to drive you up in your apartment and pick few clothes and stuff. On your way back, you decided to buy the boys some ice cream cake and banana milk. It’s a small gesture as a thank you gift for welcoming you again in their home and being so supportive of you and Namjoon. Jimin yelp in joy when he saw the ice cream cake, and Jungkook immediately take the banana milk, carefully labelling each for the members. Jin continues to impress you with his cooking skills, making you feel embarrass for not cooking deliciously as he does. “Aish, Y/N! You will learn through the years. Even if you and Namjoon get married, you will still be with us so I can teach you all the cooking skills!” he said proudly. You blushed at the thought of you and Namjoon and marriage, but it’s too early to tell. You’re still starting over, testing waters,, though you are quite sure you can see him in your future. You noticed him missing again, while the guys are gathered up for a movie marathon. And then suddenly, Vlive notified you that BTS is live. You opened the notification and you see him showing off his new collections in his studio. You smiled proudly as he talks about the future plans of BTS and the new tracks he’s working on. Somewhere though, in the middle of his VLive he showed a pair of baby shoes. He said it’s for his collection, accessory of some sort. The tiny brown baby shoes! “Wooopppss, someone’s planning for the future.” Laughed Taehyung. “Oh my, you’re pregnant Y/N????” asked Jimin. “NO! no no no no no! Oh my god no!” you said blushing. “You can tell us. Are we going to be fathers?” insisted Hoseok. “No….I don’t know. No!” you said laughing. It is impossible, you haven’t had sex yet. But of course, you can’t say that to them, a little privacy is precious especially living with them. You immediately sent him a message:

You: Kim Namjoon, are you out of your fucking mind? The boys are grilling me now asking if THEY ARE GOING TO BE FATHERS?! WTH does that even mean?

You saw him on Vlive reading something and he laughed. You are not sure if he’s reading vlive comments or he’s reading your message. Either way, you have forgiven him for such silliness, especially seeing him how he brightens up when he showed the baby shoes. One day, someday, Joonie you promised yourself. When the VLive ended, you stared at him trying to look mad. He laughed and scooped you from your sit, twirling you around before sitting and putting you on his lap. You saw Taehyung grinning as if thinking of mischievous things. “So, baby shoes huh?” he started. “Taehyung, stop. I am not pregnant” you laughed. “Well, not for now.” He replied making you shake your head. “When that time comes, we will let you know, Tae” Namjoon reassured, “But for now, Y/N are going to bed. Might as well you guys too. Long day ahead tomorrow. Meeting with Bang PDnim and the tour team.” He added. The guys all had mischievous smiles as they say their goodnights to you.

“Urgh today’s tiring, and I missed you!” he whined. “I was just out to get my stuff, you missed me already? What will happen to you when you’re in tour?” you asked. “Come with me?” His question came as a surprise. “Baby you know I can’t do that. People will start to wonder.”

“But what if Bighit hires you?” he insisted. “As what? Translator? You already know English. You’ve been doing it since then.” You laughed at the idea of being their translator. “No, no, baby. You’re needed. I’ll talk to Bang and-“you didn’t let him finish. You put one finger on his mouth to make him drop the topic. “Baby, I’m okay with my work now. And if you ask Bang PDnim, he might refuse. Code of conduct, all the policies..you know.” You sighed. “But you’re my girlfriend before they hire you, so technically we didn’t breach employee policies?” His being a smart-ass on this one, he has a point though. “I would love to stay by your side all the time, but it will look like a huge favour and special treatment especially I am your girlfriend” you insisted. “Just please try?” he kissed your forehead. He’s not going to drop this of until you sighed and nodded. He smiled sweetly and kissed you. It was a sweet, passionate kiss at first but the moment you hold unto his neck, you can feel the heat throughout your body. It’s been too long, way too long, that you’ve been wanting to feel him. You cannot hold on any longer so you deepened the kiss. You heard him let out a moan, a cue that he wants what you want as well. Tongues teasing, lip-biting. His hands roamed around your body, tightened his grip on your waist and gently laid you on the bed. “Lock the door!” you reminded him. He jumped as quickly, almost tripping which made you giggle at his clumsiness, and in less than 5 seconds he’s back on top of you. “Oh finally! All mine!” he whispered, almost ripping his shirt as he struggled to get off. You can feel your core getting hot, with every kiss and touch. He bites your lips teasingly, making you moan. You deepened the kiss getting as aggressive as he is. He found your sweet spot on your neck, sucking and biting, leaving marks as he goes down to the curves of your breast. He removes your dress in one swift motion, leaving you in your lace bra and panties. His gaze turning dark as he roams his eyes through your breast down to your core. “So fucking gorgeous! And all mine!” he whispered as he licks your cleavage making you tighten your grip on his hair. “and fucking taste good, too" he added. You prepared for this night, wearing a front-lock red brassiere that screams fuck me daddy. “Strip for me", he commanded. “Hmm, all bossy are we?” you teased. “Do it or you’re not gonna have any of this" he grinned while removing his boxers. His dick hard, reddish, and ready. You bit your lips and stood up. “Don’t make a move, don’t dare touch yourself “ you commanded. Two can play this game, you thought. He grinned and positioned himself on the bed frame. You slowly pull one strap, so slow he groaned. You are basically eye-fucking him, if there’s even a thing. To his surprise, you started slow dancing as you unlock your bra. Throwing it in front of him. You can hear him groaning and trying hard not to touch himself with your own little show. “Fuck, baby. I can’t wait to slide my cock on that” he growled. “hmmm I’d love that. Can’t wait to feel the friction here…” you touched your nipples and slowly caress your breast. You glide your hands on your stomach, “and here, too. Your hot mouth sucking, biting…” You slowly, soooo slowly, shake your hips to get out of your lace underwear, “your tongue, fingers, and your hard cock here" you were about to touch your self but he grabbed you, spinning you around, dropping you on the mattress. You moaned by his aggressiveness and eagerness. “Oh Baby, can’t wait to fuck you hard, you’ll be sore for days!” he whispered as he playfully bite your nipple. “oh shit, Joon!” you moaned. You can feel your core dripping. You needed some friction. You started grinding getting ready to take whatever Namjoon’s going to offer. “Look at you so needy" he suck your breast so hard you know it’ll leave marks and bruises the next day. You tried pulling him, scratching his porcelain skin. “Baby, pleasssee" you beg. “Say it. What do you want, Princess?” he grinned. “touch me! Fuck Namjoon. Or…or thighs! Friction. Now!” you

almost scream. He chuckled and pulled you, making you sit on one of his thigh. “You asked for thigh. Thigh is all you get" You take it, whatever that could satisfy your longing. You grind, not minding the mess and juice scattered on his precious well-tone thigh. “fuck, I can feel your wetness! You’re wild!” he chuckled. “shut up, suck me" you guided his head on your neck. You want him to leave marks all over your body, a mark that signs you’re his and he’s yours. And he did. You moaned by the intensity of each bite, but it’s not enough. “fuck me, baby. Hard" You’re almost begging. “thought you’d never ask" he replied.

He guides you and you slowly sink into his long, thick, hot rod. Your wetness helping you both settle, adjusting to each other. “shit your tight. And wet..god Y/N” he moaned. With each grunt and moan and sucking he does, it gives you more courage to be rough at him, too. You started circling your hips, and he let’s you do as you please. He tightens his grips into your waist and pumps you until you both find your rhythm. “baby, I'm cumming" you bite his shoulder to muffle your own moan. “Go ahead, baby. Cum for me. You’re a hot mess and fuck I love you so much!” he continued going deeper and deeper until you reach your high. “Turn around, hold here" he guides your hands to the bed frame and lifts your butt, slapping it before sinking in real deep. “fuck Namjoon!” you yelped with the sudden sting, but it feels you nice you have to ask again. He circled his hips, hard and deep, one hand on your waist and the other in your boob. Too much sensation, overwhelming and with every thrust you can hear the bed frame creaking. You had to try not to scream with each thrust, so you suck on Namjoon's finger instead, biting it at the process but he didn’t care. He’s too focus riding you and making sure you hear his praises about you and moaning your name. “baby, where do you---" you didn’t let him finish his question, you tightened your walls around him making him moan louder “inside!” you replied. You reach your high at the same time, moaning each other’s name. He gently pressed and massage your navel as you come to stop, making you feel good as you both calm down. “Wow baby!” he chuckled as you both collapse to the bed. He flips you over and kissed your forehead, then your lips. As sweetly, passionately, and heavenly. “I love you, Y/N” he whispered on your lips. “I love you, my Namjoon" you replied, making him blush.

“I missed fucking you that hard,” he chuckled, as you both catch your breaths. “We have all the time, baby!” you responded, enveloped in his arms. “But… how are we going to explain the ripped sheets?” you added. “We might need to stock up linens here from now on,” he replied.

After cleaning up, he went out to look for fresh linens. Luckily, the guys are all asleep now, more like you prayed they’re really asleep now, realizing how hard and loud he made you cum. “Baby, please consider joining us in our tour? Even just this leg? I can’t bear a day without you..not again?” he whispered when you’re both settling to sleep. “I promise. I’ll take a vacation leave and if it’s approved, I’ll come. Don’t get your hopes up just yet. I’m not going to drop my work; I’ll just try being your translator for this leg.” He made a cute face, the one that his dimples are showing, eyes closed, and then getting shy right after. Your heart melts every time he does that and wonder how lucky you are to have him in your life. Yes, you are never going to let go. Not anymore. He deserves the world, he deserves someone who he can share the real Namjoon with, someone who will be his shoulder through ups and downs. Someone who can accept all the flaws and cons of dating someone like him. You are ready to fight for him, against all odds. You are ready to give your life to Kim Namjoon.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Author's note: Planned to end it here but I guess I'll be making Part Three soon 😂🤷‍♀️

[elleroodles]

hi el! it feels like so long since I’ve sent one of these messages! I hope you’re doing well (that snow looked absolutely lovely). today’s music rec is the album fishmonger by underscores! I discovered it literally today but i think you might enjoy it- I’m not sure how to categorize the genre but it’s definitely weird electronic something. I am in the finals pit right now but listening to it made me feel happy this morning (even if the music itself isn’t that happy haha) so I hope you like it as well 💕

hi thea!! it is lovely to see u with a song rec in the inbox, ik i've been sitting on this ask for a while now BUT that means i have had time to give it a few listens and i very much agree with the inability to define a genre (i saw someone on rate your music describe it as an offshoot of hyperpop which is accurate i think? it's sounds i love sounds). my favorite tracks were spoiled little brat and the fish song. i like the title of the fish song a lot. keeps it real. ty for the intriguing music rec! checking out their other 2021 album as i type! also i took the opportunity to give you a few music recs of my own because i love this little exchange tradition we have, one of my favorite parts of this platform easy. also also i hope finals went/are going very well! i have either a 'you got this!' or a 'you did it!' depending on when you read this! and a <3 regardless!!

i've put a cut here so now i feel like i have to deliver a tonal shift as well but WHATEVER! i have been looping woman on the internet lately and i dig it so much and wanted to tell u since you are the resident orla gartland enjoyer in my life. i'm pretty sure the album is a no skip for me but i like you're not special babe a lottt. now that that is off my chest here's the (drumroll) music

shiny little corners - kuinka: i think i've brought this album up enough that you might've already heard of it (plus i think all mine was the sotd for like. two weeks) but i will take the opportunity to gush! it's like. pastel folk. maybe i'm just saying that cause i'm looking at the album cover right now but the sound is very bright and refreshing for the folk scene and according to my sister who saw them live almost every member of the band has a song with lead vocals which leads to some songs that i like better than others in terms of singing n stuff but it's such a cool arrangement! not to mention there's like. rock ukulele. if that's not tempting idk what is. my favorite tracks are all mine and ny, la :D

tear jerky - sparky deathcap: (as far as i know this ep isn't out on any streaming services so the link's just to a yt playlist!) ok so. sparky deathcap. take like every sound at once and make it british and kinda confusing but also this is probably one of my favorite things ever created. it's pretty short (5 tracks technically, i added cosmic love infection because i like it) and most everyone who knows it knows it because they watched a wilbur soot stream before december 11th 2020 but it is certainly sounds. i'd love to know how many instruments were used to make it. i think the best way to describe the sound is if jake ewald started slaughter beach, dog when he was still in modern baseball and british. that is a bad comparison but alas. surely one of the most eps ever

home video - lucy dacus: i am so late to the lucy dacus scene but! ever since i listened to thumbs i've had the innate need to tell everyone i know about it! hot & heavy is such a good album opener and then it just goes into christine which is so. sapphic and sad and up until hearing this album i only knew lucy dacus from boygenius and did not realize how much i loved her voice from listening to that band wowie! anyways whenever i start ending sentences with exclamation marks i feel weird going back to periods so ignore how excited i seem about this incredibly sad album! thumbs is one of the best songs ever! joins the holy trilogy of songs about dad murder (alongside father by the front bottoms and kyoto by phoebe bridgers)! again the exclamation marks are throwing me off but i'm dealing with it!

let's get out of this country - camera obscura: this is a last minute addition but when i saw ur ask about agreeing with the sotd (piazza, new york catcher) i remembered camera obscura existed bc i discovered this album through itune's 'more like dear catastrophe waitress' this contributes nothing to the listening experience but i thought it was fitting and i've only listened through this album like twice so i don't have much to say about it but i do really like lloyd, i'm ready to be heartbroken which i'm pretty sure went the 2006 equivalent of viral but i was too busy being a youngin to notice Anyways that song bangs this is more of an anecdote than a rec but i'm trying to see how far i can take this run-on sentence

speed round (quite literally. i set a timer for five minutes):

things better left unsaid - deanna gowland: discovered this song through a twitch starting soon screen it's rather jazzy and pretty

no more shame, no more fear, no more dread - ajj: this song has been stuck in my head for like a week i think i'm cursed. it's really good tho

big brat - phantom planet: fun little rock song i remembered existed while rewatching coveted comfort movie the amazing spider-man 2012. one of that movie's better soundtrack moments (the coldplay skateboarding montage did not hit like i remembered!)

caring is creepy - the shins: once i get the 2012 nostalgia i cannot stop this is maybe the second best shins song ever. good soup either way

torch song - laura stevenson: this song confuses me and i like it so much

knee deep at atp - los campesinos!: this might have shown up in a thea song rec post before but alas! it's so good! i've been listening to hold on now, youngster a bunch lately and it always goes hard

first love / late spring - mitski: everyone and their mother knows this song but it's never a bad time to listen to it methinks. banger!

you will. you? will. you? w <- my timer ran out here but i'm leaving this because it amuses me. that is all thank u for the read! i got a bit more rambly today (it is late i am sleepy) but hopefully it's all comprehensible enough! as always i love hearing from u about whatever, very much looking forward to our next drawtectives watch party :^)