#every sunday is PAIN
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tlou and succession fans have not had a break since the beginning of the year
#every sunday is PAIN#roman my little meow meow#he’s baby girl iykyk#tlou#the last of us#sucession#hbo
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Sunday's banner starts soon are you gonna pull for him or any of the new charas coming out for them new world?
HE WILL BE MINE!!!!! SUNDAY AND HIS LIGHTCONE (hopefully)!!!!!!!!!
#honkai chit chat#i will win the 50/50 (trust)#sunday please come home to me#i agree every day should be sunday and there should be no suffering or pain and it should be paradise always <3 you are so right as always
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You ever think about how happy Wylan must have been when he first learnt to read music?
Finally what was written on the page made sense and he could read it! See hes not ‘defective’ or ‘stupid’ after all! The music teacher said he got every single note right and his mother was smiling ear to ear when he played twinkle twinkle little star perfectly
After the lesson he ran straight to his fathers office beyond excited to tell him and Jan not only doesn’t give a shit he actually seems angry at the news ‘if only you put as much effort into reading something useful’. His father only berates him for interrupting his work with ‘nonsense’. Sternly reminding Wylan not to bother him unless he can actually read something
You ever think about that? No, neither do I
#soz yall#bit of pain on a sunday morning#wylan is not defective or stupid#wylan needs a hug#at least he still has his mother at this point#wylan eventually tells jesper about this part of his childhood and it takes every ounce of self control jesper has not to go to hellgate#he has some things to ‘say’ to jan#wylan van eck#soc#six of crows#jan van eck#marya van eck#soc hc
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All I’m going to say I think now that my brain remembered part of what it was thinking is that Taylor and Joe went through a lot together (good and bad) and regardless of how it ended or what led to it they both seem to be determined to keep that private and not throw each other under the bus and in the end they’re just two very, very different people whose outlooks in the long term were just never going to align and never has that been clearer.
#I AM NOT DEFENDING HIM JUST TO BE CLEAR#I’m just saying… he said a lot of nothing in those quotes beyond ‘people on the internet suck’#which is true#and both he and Taylor are keeping things close to the vest about it all#and just seems to me that whatever they went through together they are determined to keep it between them so that’s the end of that#(again in contrast to how she has no qualms about reading m for filth)#he’s just some guy and now he gets to be just some guy forever#and she gets to be extraordinary#like yes the loving committed thing raises eyebrows given how much pain she was in#but like he could have shaded her about how it ended too and he didn’t#AND I AM NOT DEFENDING HIM#we know he was a terrible partner and she felt like shit#I’m just saying neither of them want to delve into the specifics and i think they’re just moving into footnotes in each other’s lives now#like i want to make it clear AGAIN I am not condoning anything on his part here — clearly there were huge issues#I’m just saying just because he may have sucked as a partner doesn’t mean the internet being cruel isn’t also true idk#and yes it’s transparent why he’s choosing to speak out now (or rather why the Sunday times is choosing to reach out to him now)#but like… idk i just can’t muster up any feeling about this man one way or the other lol#and take cues from Taylor (and even him) she’s determined to keep it between them other than the broad strokes#so I’m following her/their lead#(like I have thoughts about why but that’s not important and ultimately is just… it’s the most normal of ltr breakups)#like he just sounds a little pretentious with his ‘real life’ which like… good on him keep living that real life you do you dude#meanwhile his ex is flourishing with every passing week and milestone and is living her unabashed best life#and they’re probably both happier for it now
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While I absolutely hate not posting, I'm also very glad Soli is on mini-july break because guess who has two thumbs and just spent the past two days in a migraine coma!? THIS GUYYyyowowwww.
#never been so glad that I'm not at any of the numerous events I put the comic on mini vacation for#being in a con hotel with a migraine is something i have experienced and never want to experience again#that was ax 2005#that was Pain#got lucky every other year I went and never got struck down again#except for the year I went a week early to stay with friends and got a migraine a few days before#but a friend's quiet couch is far better than a con hotel for that#anyway!! thanks to having a couple of new messages during my coma I remembered I had other messages I meant to answr WOOPS#I will poke those once my postdrome lets up a bit#I do hope everyone AT a con or on vacation is having a great time!! No migraines ok? I will take your migraine for you#or wait I guess it's no longer sunday#so people who WENT TO a con or are going to the upcoming ones#you better have good times or had good times!#WHAT DAY IS IT
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my ideal work conditions today would involve one of those sensory deprivation tanks with a bathtub caddy to stick my laptop on
#on monday i found out i had a bonus five days to work on my draft bc the deadline (which i thought was tuesday) had been incorrect#took the rest of that day to do nothing and relax because i'd been stressing#only worked on it a few short hours the following day because ''i still have until sunday!''#then i got slammed with a fibro flare up the next morning#and lost three days to pain and brain fog#and now it's due today and i'm barely ahead of where i was at the start of the week and still in flare up mode#-_-#trying to work but can't sit at my desk in the garage because it's too cold#the kitchen chairs hurt my back#and the armchair which is the most comfortable chair is too comfy and cozy to focus in#plus it's in the living room which means it's a high foot traffic area#which means constantly being distracted every time someone walks through the house#gonna crank my thunderstorm sounds up loud on my headphones and hope for the best i guess#good thing this isn't a final draft i have to submit#but man#i wish i had an office
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Thank u dad for making me go on walks at the age of 10 to lecture me about how no man will ever marry me if I’m fat. Thank you uncle for picking on my weight when I was 5’3” and 110 until I got myself down to 90
#I wish I had the control I did when I was 13#500 calories a day max#except Saturday#only almonds and zero cal drinks Sunday-Friday#occasionally my mom would stop at McDonald’s and I’d order two round eggs lol#they’d put them in a chicken nugget box#on Saturday.. Pepperidge farm used to make a chocolate swirl bread and I’d toast the entire loaf and butter every slice#it was one of those half loaves#miss that bread so much.. miss being super skinny… miss having a body that lets me exert without horrible pain/throwing up/passing out#like bro I am not skinny enough for that fuck my ex for leaving me with health issues like wtf dude h o w#34t1ng d1s0rd3r#thiinsp0#thinspø#from me#th1gh g@p#tw ed but not sheeran#@n0r3x1@#pro for me not for thee#thin$po
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I’m currently very upset about the American healthcare system. Like I hope they know that they are making people actively sicker 🫶
#don’t read the tags if you don’t like skin related stuff although I’m not going into major detail but I felt like I should warn people an#anyway*#autumn rambles#so basically I had a regurlar cyst on my lower back which isn’t abnormal for me and wasn’t causing me any pain until like a week ago when I#say down on my bed but I did it in a way that I think made this minor cyst burst inside my skin and now it’s definitely infected because#the skin around it is swollen and red but my cat also recently got put down so I felt like such a burden that I didn’t want to tell my#parents but eventually the pain got so bad I caved and told my mom on Sunday night and today she called to try and figure out if I could go#to my primary care this week but since I haven’t been in three years (which I know sounds bad but I see my other two doctor every six#months PLUS I have my double infusion every month so I’m fucking burnt out on seeing doctors so yeah I’m not going to go to my yearly#appointment like I’m supposed to because I’m fucking tired of it PLUS my primary care goes through doctors like crazy and I was tired of#having to explain my life story every time I go to get a regular check up)#but anyway since it’s been 3 years I have to fill out a new patient form in their office before they can even let me know if they have an#appointment available this week like how fucked is that??? why can’t I fill it out before my appointment???#also they had the audacity to say to go to urgent care when the whole reason I called my doctors office is because my info is all there in#the system where as the urgent care people are likely going to have no access to my medical history and they won’t know anything about my#chronic conditions#I’m just so mad because the cyst hurts so fucking bad right now#I had to put a bandaid on it because it’s slightly beginning to burst and I’m terrified of taking the bandaid off#I’m just so torn on what I want to do#like I need to suck it up and go to urgent care but we need the car to get there and my dad has plans tomorrow night and Wednesday is#thanksgiving prep and I hate feeling like this huge burden#it’s the middle of the night rn so I can’t do anything about it and I’m just sad#like I should have stopped being a baby and went after supper but the cyst didn’t hurt as bad then
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finally... after months and months of waiting and saving up... after losing the fricking 50/50 to YANQING of all people....... I finally got him.... my pookie.......
#abbey plays honkai star rail#this was SO painful my god#it took forever for him to come home#losing 50/50 again but with Clara#and making me reach pity every single fucking time#but he's here....... it was all worth it.................#I also wanted to get his E1 but man#I ain't risking it 😭#Sunday comes next and what if he also does the same thing#yeah no.
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Ough lord take all my pain and suffering (period cramps + exam season) and bestow it upon my enemies (sunday hsr)
#love his sister tho <3 give him all of robin's pain and suffering too#why didnt anyone shoot SUNDAY in the neck. oh right its because he doesn't stand for anything#shut up maia#im suffering. im trying to read my stupidass economics textbook and suffering#meanwhile sunday hsr is gonna join the astral express and I'm gonna have to look at him for every quest for the rest of the game#get him AWAY FROM MEEEE i hope they at least give me dialogue options where I'm mean to him#i want that bitch miserable
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doodle diary 2
#my doodles#diary entry#cw self harm#<- not pictured. just written. i wrote something about self harm maybe not everyone wants to hear about that#but i really can't stop thinking about it sorry. it feels so wrong#that my mum would tell me to stop doing something she does too#and even tried to like sort of guilt trip me out of it#even though its something that makes me feel better..#i know its probably a pain to have a kid like me. i know that and i feel bad#but something still seems so wrong about it#i don't get why people say stuff like this#not even just 'if you stop doing this self destructive thing then i will too'#but also 'if you do this self destructive thing then so will i'#because like really what does that achieve#i guess its your choice. theres not much i can do even if i wouldn't ever want you to do that#but why are you trying to make me feel like its my fault? even if you probably would've done it anyways#bleh#i don't knowww#but#i think i'll do a diary thing like this every sunday#even if i don't actually write much about my week. i can't remember anything i do ever#if anybodys reading this: im sorry and also you're nice and cool and nice and yeah. my fingers are cold i wanna go to bed
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tomorrow is my first day at my new job
...and then i go from that right back to barnes, because i'm staying on there part-time for at least a little bit. which means tomorrow is my first 13-hour work day in several years, yaaaaaay.
(i keep reminding myself that the extra pay will be VERY helpful/nice, and that i can drop barnes the moment i'm too overwhelmed, but i also want to try to stick it out *for a while*, but it's also Retail Holiday Hell Season now, and also nano, too, so WHO KNOWS how long it'll last, oof.)
#yes i'm gonna try to attempt nanowrimo still while working 60-ish hour weeks#because i am a glutton for pain and my adhd is unmedicated WOOT WOOT#(working from 8 am to 9:30 pm two or three days a week with no break in between AND every sunday is gonna be rough why am i like thisssss)#state of the angie b.
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So I finally watched Banana Fish and y'all were right.
Now I'm devastated and I don't think I'm gonna get over it ever in this life (or the next one).
#I finished it on Sunday#and ever since I wake up every day with a profound sorrow and sadness#this anime was so perfect#and so painful#fuck#it was really painful#i already knew that but holy shit#I'd like to read the manga someday#but I don't know if I'll ever be ready to experience this again#banana fish
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guy who’s only ever seen saw (2004), having a period: hmm. getting a lot of saw trap vibes from this
#for clare#elliot should shut up challenge#having a period is exactly like being in a saw trap. painful. bloody. you’re in a bathroom. sometimes amanda is there#saw 2004#saw trap sunday#it’s actually saw trap sunday saturday. but it’s close enough#clare u have actually wormed my brain bc every time i get my period i look at the blood and go ‘‘oh my god this is just like in saw’’#ask to tag
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Maybe I should be more grateful that the only game of mine that was passed around on Twitter was griangotchi
#every day I live in fear that someone will see petpet or tommygotchi and accuse me of being a creep about real life brittish man tom simons#like no!! its the cubito!! if i were drawing real life tom simons he would have the club sunday sweater!!!#the pains of having a character look very much like their actor#except ctommy is trans#clearly
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feeling misery and despair about going back to work btw. im trying to suppress it and i did a good job but the inevitable is inevitable
#purrs#i had like 3 massive breakdowns at the end of the week incl one on friday when i was off. and then i was like ok. i am literally weak and sh#shaking from all of that let me just pretend none of it happened. and i did!!! i pretended so well that i have felt basicslly normal all#weekend. i played a lot of video games and i even went out twice.. once to a chorus concert on campus (which is big bc being on campus ummmm#is deeply agitating to me rn ♥️) and today to home depot w my family to wander around the plants and hear the birds. i am suppressing things#and i know i am but if i don’t think about thst i feel so normal. except now it’s 11:16 on a sunday night and i have work tomorrow. and i#know most of the horrors are over but there are still so many more fucking horrors ahead. saying goodbye to people i love and anniversaries#of things happening including today being the 4 year anniversary of a certain email lol. and i can FEEL the difference. the way my stomach#is in knots bc weekends are only so long (even long ones) and i can only hold back the horrors for a little while. it’s all temporary. augh.#i literally need like a whole month off i think. idk. work stuff has fucked up my mental health beyond belief this year and it’s so sad bc t#this is my dream job but im in so much mental pain and physical exhaustion constantly and they beget themselves and by the end of the week#im miserable. but the semester is about to end. but what if it doesn’t get better bc EVERY single god damn time we talk about how it’s gonna#get better it quite literally gets worse lol 💖 i can’t im not strong enough. coming up on 5 years here and im not fucking strong enough!#but i will heal eventually i think. i just need the horrors to cease for long enough for me to catch my breath (and other redacted things ♥️
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