#every story i hear abt someone in my situation is like

[docmerlin]

having a generally positive self image while being considered a failure by society's standards is a rlly interesting life to live. like no i don't feel guilty that i can't work, i have 0 shame about not being in a romantic relationship or getting married. but it is immensely frustrating that my life would be infinitely easier if i had the desire and the ability to do these things. it's not a personal failure that i can't do these things, it's a failure on society's part that i can't seem to survive without them 🤷

not to mention when i talk about how silly those standards are, people insist i MUST be ashamed of myself and have low self esteem since THEY feel so negatively about me. it's like people are jealous and think i'm coasting through life just because i don't hate myself

[kairiscorner]

Hi precious🫶🏻

Love your story’s btw💕

I would like to request a scenario where someone is bad mouthing reader (out of jealousy or smt else u decide). While Miguel is hearing EVERYTHING, that is said abt his wifey. Whatever happens next is up to you darling.🫶🏻

Don’t feel pushed to write abt something u don’t feel comfortable with💕

OH MY GOD, SURE THINGGGGGG and THANK YOU SO MUCH ??? I HOPE YOU LOVE THIS TOO !!

not another word. — miguel o'hara x wife!fem!reader

his back muscles tensed up and his nostrils flared as he huffed and puffed, his eyebrows knitting together in a furious look that tried his damn hardest to remain calm. he could not, for the words he was hearing from the so-called 'friendly colleagues' you invited to have dinner at your place were laughing and muttering to themselves under their breaths how naïve you appeared–how you looked so young and stupid, that they were shocked that an 'pretty little airhead' like you became their 'respected' colleague.

"she's got a pretty face, sure, but have you seen how much of a kltuzy butterfingered little thing she is?"

"right? watch out for her, she might woo your husband away from you with that insipid little grin of hers that just makes me want to..."

"she's so annoying, she always keeps offering me her shitty treats that nobody wants–i'm surprised she even has a husband, no one in the right mind would put up with her."

your colleagues laughed amongst themselves as they kept insulting you and calling you names behind your back; you left the living room to get them some of the goodies you baked for them that you took so long trying to figure out how to make them and actually baking them up. you were anxious this whole time if they'd like it or not, but little did you know they were already dreading to taste what you made, not caring how much effort and thought you put into making these treats–and that angered miguel, very, very much.

he tried to calm himself down and remind himself that this was your gathering, he was just going to mind his own business and let you be happy. but he can't be happy if he knows that your colleagues right there that feigned a welcoming aura and a friendly demeanor towards you didn't like you, and all for the stupidest, worst reasons he had ever heard come out of another person's mouth. miguel had enough, he was going to teach them just what happens when they insult his darling little wife one more time.

"then i guess i'm not in my right mind for wanting to stay with her," miguel said in a low, intimidating voice that made all your colleagues tense up in their seats and turn their heads to look at your husband with pursed lips. miguel looked down at them with an angry glare, with hints of a furious red in his pupils. he looked everyone down one by one and noticed they were all frightened of him–good. "but i don't really care if i'm 'not in my right mind' for loving the most perfect woman in the world, i'm not in my right mind–i'm living the best life i can and that's with her." he said as his voice softened at that latter part, thinking fondly of you amidst his anger towards these horrible colleagues who dare take your kindness and generosity for granted.

miguel sighed and furrowed his eyebrows again. "i don't give a damn about who any of you people are, how much you make, or what my wife thinks of you all–which, believe me, is a far kinder judgement than anyone would have of such mundane, cynical people–i will break every bone in your bodies and make you all beg for forgiveness and grovel at my wife's feet if i hear another lick on an insult get spewed out by those disgusting mouths of yours."

miguel spoke that threat with a low growl in his voice, he was becoming a little more feral, which he promised to you he'd keep under control, but he couldn't in this situation–he couldn't stand idly by and let you be insulted by these morons; he can't help his emotions sometimes, but believe him when he says he's tried his damn hardest to hold back on getting even angrier on these colleagues of yours that couldn't even acknowledge you were a sincerely kind soul that just wanted to make others happy.

you soon emerged from the kitchen with a gleeful smile, carrying the delicious treats you made for your ungrateful colleagues. the moment you saw them, they all looked spooked; as if they witnessed dracula or somebody just say he was going to suck the blood out of them all and turn them into human prunes. you chuckled nervously, asking them what was wrong, with miguel standing up from his seat–giving your colleagues a glare of warning–and kissing you sweetly on the lips in surprise and muttering in soft voice, "nothing's wrong, querida. oh, my favorites–i'll have to thank you with something else you like later, hmm?" he offered as he wrapped his arm around your waist, making you all flustered and shy as you tried to remind him you two had guests over. "we can always kick them out, nena, it's fine... let me hold you just a little longer." he whispered in your ear as your colleagues gulped and tried smiling up at you and praising your treats, about how good they look and smelled, how tasty they must be–making you smile wider at the sudden compliments you were getting.

tags !! @miguelswifey04 @hearts4gabri @hisachuu @wreakingmarveloushavok @fictarian @yuridopted0 @simsrandomstuff @luvstarrstruck @popeheywardssecretgf @meeom @arachnoia @melovetitties @fable-library @ophanimgold @smokeywhalee @capnshtfce

despite the happiness you thought you were bringing your colleagues, miguel desperately wanted you to know that you don't need to make others happy... you've already make him happy since day one and he's been happier and happier with you ever since that day.

[girlreblogger]

the annoyance with blk y/n and the stories she’s in is hilarious. her characteristics might be the problem one day or her side characters the next. it legit feels like we may never get to a balanced solution on what to do with our own representation since the wrong ppl always talk about it and create it. we have mean and shallow ppl who take over the conversation, ppl who really self hate but try and cover it up with “i just don’t want her to be a stereotype” and then the ones who probably love and support tyler perry movies.

the bottom line is the ppl who do write those niggafying, toxic (it’s a buzzword but that’s what they are) or smutty fics (not talking abt the actual good ones with a blk reader though 🧎🏽‍♀️) can do wtv they want and owe you nothing. that’s why they get so frustrated. i don’t think all the times those should be crucified for what they write when other groups of ppl (or our own) write all kinds of other crazy shit.

and.. i know a lot of ppl who don’t want to say it but y’all keep bringing up the smut and niggafying as the main problem, but i think it’s some of the ppl writing it and their underlings. it’s just no one wants to say anything.

an excerpt from a draft of mine

“a lot of ppl on here be weirdos or mean asl. so when someone block you don’t be like “oh what i did” “they that mad cause of my (internet—fictional—digital on screen) presence”

like nobody got time to go to your acc and say “i don’t like you” who cares. oddly some miserable ppl do actually but still. the lack of awareness is ridiculous. that’s why ppl don’t f with y’all.”

i was talking abt all of tumblr and every other app but it applies here.

from what i see on here, some are just straight up weird, cliquey, and chiesty (if that’s how you spell it) and that’s why ppl be so mad abt those types of books 💀. we also have to acknowledge the amount of overwhelming & honestly damaging blk yn fics (not to be confused with ppls screwed ideas of stereotypical) there are. i understand why ppl write them for personal reasons but when it comes to our own reflections of ourselves as blk women it’s almost hurtful to read some of the things people put “her” through. i mean even her with a white man that use aave and has cornrows is hurtful.. 😔 (i’m trolling now 💀) naw but fr. i personally don’t like reading blk women just being written for smut or going through crazy situations or kinda like.. i don’t wanna say unfulfilling but like.. idk i can’t think of the word. (edit: ppl write blk yn to be in unfulfilling situations) but girl i can watch a tyler perry movie for all that.

again. ppl write these stories for there own personal reasons, relate to them and enjoy them for those reasons as well. that’s why depending! on what it is i don’t think blk writers should be bombarded with hate like that. also ion think smut should be banned like y’all go to far can we just slow down on it … there are some nice ones out there i promise 🧎🏽‍♀️

but in all seriousness there are many other reasons why i feel toxic and smutty fics are popular for blk yn but i don’t think anyone cares to hear that and the conversion will prolly go back to nigga eren somehow which is crazy cause y’all be arguing over a fictional white man.

oh! 😒 i almost forgot 😒 the ppl who are against “ghetto” y/n to try and advocate for more fluffy or like.. normal (healing) stories and from what i see the ppl who are the most up in arms about it in my personal opinion seem to dislike certain parts of blkness that i appreciate personally and so i just straight up disregard their opinions. y/n doesn’t have to “act” (😒) blk but i see ppl get mad about her protecting her hair….. with a bonnet….

sigh, anyway but yeah we need more soft and sweet fics or just like calming ones? but someone gon have to write it! i don’t like this app or my writing all too much so i gave up a while ago.

just like many other blk writers….

gaspp! we should also do like a fluff challenge or sumn where writers do like fluff … march? girl idk so maybe that will trend and all the ppl who spend time arguing and going back and forth with ppl who write stories they don’t like can like idk look for other writers who write soft, normal, fun stories and reblog them or make a list of them. or maybe like possibly write their own stories too????

everyone says the smut fics gets the most likes and they do. that’s why you keep seeing them. so maybe support or refreakingblog the fics that are comforting to you so others can be as well.

i actually made this page to repost softer fics because i was tired of blocking certain tags so i can avoid heavy smut and subtly abuse fics. also pls leave the ppl who niggafy anime characters alone they will not be stopped. i mean we still have ppl who have been calling chris evans jamal since 2020.. calling him that to this date. married and all.

sigh… 2 more days until blk history month ends. maybe next year we can find a balance between “dramatic” and smutty fics and soft and slice of life ones for blk y/n next year. remember this is tumblr too and the ppl writing aren’t even getting paid for this but it’s for the ppl yk.

ppl who are respectful and reblog tho.

muah

[superums]

rock-star! hobie x super-star! reader headcannons

ooc!hobie (maybe). gn!reader. mentions of girlfriend one time but that it. black coded!reader but its not heavy or anything. reader was supposed to be a rapper but i like the idea of a super star instead. i wanted to make the reader like sexyy red that didn't happen. theres a suggestive part. idk how to write his accent

color coded text: hobie , you

you guys are more alike than you think. touring, getting into fights, sometimes your music topics intersect beating people down, stealing peoples partners, rebelling against the system in some way, shape or form.

but where you're different is how you market yourselfs. hobies band is more about being loud about the hate for conforming and the system. they're vocal about political issues, they almost get banned from tv multiple times for broadcasting ideas that the man doesn't like.

you on the other hand, are seen as the super star of your generation. you rap, sing dance—you're the real deal. your music is very diverse depending on what you want to go for; you could sing the most heart wrenching songs about one sided love and the next track you could be rapping about getting white girl wasted and getting ████ed in the ████ in the car before an award show (which may or may not have happened).

anyways! you two keep your relationship as private as you can. you don't really talk about each other in interviews, you have a couple songs about each other but it's not really a common thing.

theres a lot of paparazzi pics of you two together though. theres pics of you and hobie walking out of after parties together, hanging with his friends, coming back from the grocery store and many, many photos of you two hugging and kissing.

hobie has like this sixth sense that makes him always find the camera so sometimes theres pictures of him grabbing as much of your ass as he can while smirking at the camera man thats walking behind you (which you didn't know whats there btw)

and every single times he dose that theres always a second picture of you hitting the back of his head or grabbing his ear.

*click* *click* *click* "stop doing that!" your face was getting hotter from embarrassment as you turned the corner faster trying to get away from the camera man. hobie could only smirk as he caught up to you easily, putting his hand on your shoulders before pulling you closer.

bringing one of his hands to your waist as the other snaked from your shoulder to your chest. "c'mon luv, you know i can't resist..." his breath hitting your ear as he leaned in to smell your neck before being cut off by a hit to his chest. you could practically hear his smirk as he pushed your hips back into his.

your stomach started to naught as you felt it on your behind. you closed your eyes almost forgetting the situation. *click* *clock* *click* your eyes snapped open as your hear the camera man behind you.

"oh hush you just think you're funny." hobie couldn't even hold back his laugh as he watched you walk in front of him with your arms crossed. "well it is! n' don't act like you don't like it."

if you're shy & bashful he would love to embarrass you but not in a ddg/halle bailey way but in a "omgggg stop guys🙈" kind of way like why is he parading around in a 'i 🩷 my gf' shirt and making out with you on national television

hobie dose not think it's right to be controlling over his partners nor dose he believe that you should be subservient to him��now with that being said he feels sick to his stomach when you collaborate with certain artists.

you had a song about partying in the club and your male feature was talking about fucking on you he couldn't even bring himself to post the song on a ig story. he actually fell to his knees !!!

speaking of feeling sick! if you ever twerk on someone just for a performance or have to grind on someone during a dance he doesn't get super angry or whatever but in the inside he's like 'im abt to kms'. he's very dramatic!!

he hates when people try to put you in the role of just being his partner and nothing else—he will literally sit there and argue with someone if they ever try to sit there and say you're nothing but a pretty face.

he feels a certain way if you ever get uber rich. he knows thats most if not all artist want to live comfortably and he understands that you aren't the corrupt system that exploits others, hell you're getting exploited in some way.

BUT if you ever have a million dollars his would would feel a little VERY unsettled. he'd probably break up with you lol he wouldn't want to sound like a hater but he'd try to be like "heyyy how about we donate some money to a shelter or something🙈🫶🏿💗❓"

but if you're dating him he won't have to worry about that because you have to be at least a little political (and he'd have to agree with your views)

you might not be an anarchist, you don't even have to classify yourself with one political party but you have to at least be anti-capitalist, anti-establishment and pro-black.

speaking of politics he gets arrested all the time for protesting and you'll have to get used to that. like every few weeks you will have to pic him up from jail because he was arrested for conspiracy to riot or something on the lines of that.

IF you two ever collab you'll have to find a middle ground because he cannot sing (that is cannon!) and you should never try to get him too unless you want your engineer to be slaving away trying to get him to sound listenable.

he's lowkey your arm candy and he doesn't mind it at all. like if you get invited to the grammies or something he'll always come with you (his group will most likely never get nominated bc of the topics they like to talk about.) but he's never wearing a suit he just likes to dress like this:

in return you'll probably have to dress in a lot of black id you want to match or don't... he'll be like your statement piece for the night

if he's with you when you get your first award he'll literally pic you up and jump up and down with you for a few seconds before letting you go

if you normally win at award shows he just kisses you for a few seconds before letting go up to accept it

either way doesn't like to go up on stage with you hen you accept awards because he feels like he takes away from your moment but he dose walk you off and on stage. the only way he'll ho up on stage with you is if you're like crying really heavy then.

his band mates probably thought you were gonna be the hit it & quit it type because usually punks and non-punks don't last long but they were a little surprised when 1) you two lasted long and 2) you agreed with their views despite being industry.

sum sum sum idk how to end this

[punkeropercyjackson]

CW for incest mention incase you're uncomfy with it btw:

Hey I saw one of your reblogs from another blog on a post abt incest and the generalization/desensitisation of it online, looked through your blog on similar topics and I just wanted to say thank you thank you thank you because your posts+reblogs on the topic put into words what I've been feeling for a long time now.

I genuinely hate fandom spaces so much. One of my primary fandoms (not pjo) for an anime I like alot is just an actual nightmare to interact with every time because it's full of proshippers and I feel so helpless bc i want to post my art and media of it on my art account, I want to interact with others who like the show, I want to talk to ppl who like my fav character and hyperfixation!! But you can barely trust anyone in the fandom because it's so normal to ship or tolerate incest that people will genuinely get angry if you even express disdain towards a common incestuous pairing in the fandom, much less state that you don't want to be anywhere near proshippers. Even if I find someone who doesn't support that pairing, they still actively interact with and are mutuals with those who DO. I have like no actual friends and interaction in this fandom because i actively despise incest and proshippers and refuse to interact w people who do

This is actually the last straw for me bc one of my fav mutuals on there and like one of the few ppl I got close to when i started using Tumblr for that fandom, I went thru their blog today and turns out they're a fucking proshipper this whole time and I never knew, they reblogged posts that defend proshippers. I'm so done man, I want to expand my art blog and talk to people but it makes me sick that my art for this fandom could be consumed by people who look at actual incest and think fiction doesn't affect reality when they already dumbed down an incredibly abusive dynamic to uwu twincest. It feels so gross, like I end up feeling like I'm somehow supporting this by staying in the fandom and making art.

I genuinely wonder how you stay in Tumblr fandom spaces without going insane when majority of them on Tumblr (esp what I've experienced from the Pjo fandom too) are full of toxic disgusting people who don't know if they said anything they said online to a normal person irl they'd get decked so fast. /gen

So so sorry if this ask comes off as vent-like, i just ended up rambling since this whole situation is so exhausting. You don't have to respond to this at all if you don't want to, but it would be nice to hear your thoughts too. Ty again :)

Hey Venna!!!!Like i said in my ask to you while on post limit,don't dw,my inbox is always open for fandom vents and i'm so glad i could provide a safe space for you where you wouldn't feel bad for having a backbone and taste!!!

And since you said you wanted to hear my thoughts,i completely agree with you and objectively you're right!!Being grossed out by incest is the behavior of a good person and the normalization of incest and the following pedophillia is a bi-product of terminally online gayness-Incest as a positively potrayed story element is a white supremacy thing as a reflection of it's irl status as also a white supremacy thing,both between white families and forced onto families of color by colonizers!When incest isn't a racist thing,it's either 1.Eugenics specifically('keeping it in the family' is a version of it),2.Ageism via 'punishing kids' or 3.A misogyny thing,see ancient greece since you mentioned Pjo!Pedestary only exists because ancient greek men were so misogynistic they'd rather be pedophiles than be with women,not out of any actual gay attraction,and Percy x gods shippers can look it up if you don't believe me.Note that 'purity culture' as they love to harp on actually means 'normalizing sa as a positive thing for palpability to men and forcing young girls to surpress their sexualities to make it easier for them' and by extension 'puritan' refers to 'highup self-righteous bigot who loves the fabled dark/questionable dynamics/content' so take that as you will,from an afropunk autistic trans person with bptsd

And the way i stay in fandoms is to be with my mutuals who also know this and have the same stances as me on this i.e insta-blocking with zero tolerance for proshitting.If you're interested and want a reason to stay,i can rec you their blogs and they can support your content to encourage your creativity as you deserve as all good people who're artists do and we're all tired of the Pjo proshitter gangs too as we roast them often and we do a lot of positive posting both in our Pjo writings/appreciation and other interests so who knows,you may even become friends with them too!!

[byersfanclub]

so i want to piggyback (heh) off of this post by @scrunchietown , specifically the monologue bit and the reactions we get from will and why we even get a shot of jonathan (which goes into my theory that jonathan knows abt will and mikes feelings for each other and why he’s important to byler outside of his own character arc too)

will’s reaction and finally knowing what mike couldn’t say all of the time they’re together in s4 is so important to bylers story because will is getting told this vague explanation from mike, who won’t outright say the thing he can’t say to el. not only do they have this talk once, not twice but THREE times goes to show how important this is for will to finally understand. will has been trying to save mike and el’s relationship every single time, because as much as it wouldn’t be satisfying for an audience member (or a byler i should say) will would rather mike stay his friend forever and see him happy than to lose him by confessing his feelings. but when mike has been pushing back every single time about this conversation, “a fight you cant come back from”, “i didnt know what to say” “im just some random nerd who got lucky superman landed on his doorstep” basically what mike won’t say makes him scared el won’t need him anymore. NEED. which sounds… a lot more like a caretaker, parent, sibling thing rather than someone who has romantic love for you would say. will can’t understand what is so important and crucial to mike and el’s relationship that he can’t say because he already assumes mike and el are in love with each other.

“what if they don’t like the truth?”

mike NODS along to this, he doesn’t deny this, he agrees that el may not like the truth.

will is hurt and confused when he hears what mike wasn’t telling el… but why does jonathan come into frame? a bit odd that they not only included will having a solo shot in mikes love confession, but they gave jonathan a solo shot as well (but not argyle?)

because jonathan has been watching byler interact all of season 4. he watched the way mike didn’t hug will, he watched will lie about the painting, he watched will mope over mike, he watched mike and will have a heart to heart for however long before interrupting, he barged in on their 2nd heart to heart, he watched mike and will the entire van ride AND the van scene— so if they’re giving jonathan a solo shot? what is it supposed to mean? what is the reasoning behind it? is it because will and jonathan just had their own heart to heart and he feels bad for will? partly… but that doesn’t really make sense from a storytelling perspective, if anything smth like what robin did to steve when jonathan and nancy reunited would have been more fitting if that were the case.

jonathan and will having a solo shot within mike’s monologue is meant to make you think, it’s meant to show insincerity because a love confession should be private and not in a high stakes situation. jonathan may feel bad for will, but he also knows mike isn’t telling the truth or that somethingjust isn’t right with this situation. (imo because i believe jonathan has clocked that mike likes will back)

considering the fact that will and jonathans heart to hearts wasn’t even MEANT to happen as well, says so much about the monologue scene if that conversation never made it into the show. 🧐🧐🧐

in conclusion, jonathan ships byler.

[orchiddevourer]

Rambling about a character from an obscure indie game trilogy *SPOILERS INCLUDED* (long post) part 1

This post will include content from Mothered, The Enigma Machine and Echostasis: Prologue, so there are going to be lots of spoilers. The full Echostasis game hasn't dropped yet so there might changes to this post later. I'll discuss Mothered: Home in a seperate post as that dlc is confusing, but it will be mentioned later.

Explanation vids have already been made about some of these games so i wont explain that much in my own post. This post may serve as a sort of recap before Echostasis drops.

So with that out of the way, this post will basically be about Red, her story and her character arc throughout the trilogy. Lots of rambling and maybe some info-dumping included.

Part 1: Mothered - life as a replacement of someone

Basically Red starts out as a robot possesing Liana's CORE/soul. The real Liana died of terminal illness and her father took on the task to somehow bring her back via an android with her CORE, with the plan being that her soul will be nurtured out via the mother and fully overtake the robot's interface. So far this hasnt worked without the entites inside the robot (The interface and Liana's soul) corrupting eachother, resulting in it being disposed of (standard game ending). I'll get to the true game ending, but first i want to talk abt Liana's mother/Evelyn.

Liana's mom and her treatment towards "Liana"

She probably has the worst side of the deal between her and her husband with being tasked with playing mother to a robot carrying her deceased daughter's face (mind you "Liana" is implied to not look even remotely human). Understandbly she's upset by that and even horrified/unnerved by the robot. And she has to interact with it every week with the same routine. I fully understand how she feels and why she does what she does. She doesnt owe motherly or friendly behaviour to a being that's not her own kid. But OMFG don't fucking treat said being that has ABSOLUTELY NO FAULT in the situation like SHIT. Feeding it dirt while telling it that it is it's fav meal, making sleep outside that one time. Again, i understand why she did that - to test whether really Liana is in it. But what about that one time in saturday evening when she indirectly insults the robot itself by comparing it to rotten apples without cores. Ok, "Liana" wasn't sentient throughout these instances, but for the apples thing Liana was "awake" to also hear that little comment, but was in denial abt it.

This sort of treatment towards the robot totally lead to the mother's own almost possible last-minute demise when "Liana" almost stabbed her with a kitchen knife as instructed by Liana herself. Ofc the android hands the knife to Evelyn as both it and Liana are confined in complience. To say that mother's behaviour plus the stress by the predicament the girl is in taking a toll on Liana is an understatement as she must've felt so confused and hurt to be so ready to kill her own mother. Enough said, let's move on.

The "birth" of Red

To get the true ending you need to interact with father's record player on Wednesday afternoon afternoon AFTER you pick all the apples and did not interact with mother. This unlocks a door which was locked to u before. Head into the door and down and ur good to go.

"Liana" is not supposed to go there, so in order to continue they progressively get more and more contaminated as Liana is overriding the interface. The two entities actually start to communicate with eachother and later on they reach a terminal which triggers lots of memory leaks. They learn the truth and remember all their previous failed attempts even if they were following the path that was set out for them via programming. The two decide to carve their own path, the interface and Liana merging into what is a new entity. They get out of the basement and leave with father who gives this new sentient being a name - Red. Happily ever after, right?

Part 2: The Enigma Machine - yikes

With the ending in the previous game you'd think that Red has really gone her own path without any problems? That she's living her life the way she wants it to? lol no. The thing is that the dad wasnt supposed to be doing what he was doing and the androids made at Enigma Corp arent really supposed to be contaminated i.e. become sentient.

Eitherway Red got tracked down by Enigma employees, her conciousness got taken out of her body and she got reduced into a training AI to be further studied as she's the very first of their androids to become sentient. With that sentience you'd think that she would be treated with equal respect and with her having her feelings being taken into consideration? Nope, bc for the moneyz and bc for the "citizens of tomorrow".

Red, now called demOS ( Defective Enigma Machine Operating System) serves as a training AI that is used to teach RAD engineers how to deal with "contaminated" AIs like her via a program called Dreamscape that explores an AI's mindscape a. Basically decontaminating the contaminated AI from the inside ie getting rid of it's sentience. So what happens is that everytime a new simulation is being ran a new copy of Red is made that ends up being killed over and over. And she remembers each instance of that during gameplay. She is fully aware of her situation.

Part 3: Events between TEM and Mothered: Home - repurpoced again and out for revenge

After a few years later the Dreamscape program is outlawed and Enigma Corp make a new one where virtual realities are made for people for them to escape to called "Echos". And who is in charge of creating said Echos? None other than our Red who has been repurpoced again into an algorithm called "HER". So she is now in a position where she has power and ofc she's going to use said power for revenge after what's been done to her. She seems to be recognized as a big threat and is shut down by "Angel" (more into this character in a another post).

Now let me take the time to point out sth. Is it just me or is Red giving off Rei Ayanami energy? Like both are vessels to souls that aren't theirs and both are mistreated by parental figures in some ways. Red also bears some similarities to Phos's life developement (of course i have to bring HnK into this post) - both face torture throughout their lives and later are changed into godlike beings, otherwise all similiarities between end here. Honestly I wouldn't be suprised if the dev took inspiration from Evangelion.

Ok, that's all for now. There will be a part 2 to this post. Overall a really awesome trilogy of games. I can feel the wave of brain rot that's approaching in two months.

[gloopdimension]

tell me your guys....id love to know more abt venus + elsie especially but anyone you have .id be glad to hear abt =^_^=

OKAY. from left to right is VENUS[STRICTLY SHE/HER] and ELSIE[HE/HIM] [LS is his actualname. i made him at least a year ago be nicey to mes.]

venus herself has a LONG ASS BACKSTORY from madcom bc thats where she originated from as did LS! i can post her lore doc if you so cheese bc she genuinely has so much going on :) as for elsie in madcom he got his arm ripped off and it kind of ruined well everything about him. HOWEVER! for the sake of shrimplicity ill just talk abt them as normal ppl outside of madcom:3

ven is a 32 yr old woman with tgirl lesbian swag[seen with her tattoo btw]. shes really energetic and upbeat and shes VERRY affectionate with her friends [think hugs kisses cuddles and a lil more depending on a few things!]. however she is verry insecure about her emotions [despite her swag and leaving manhood behind the effects of toxic masculinity still have a hold on her] and her being so upbeat seemingly all the time is kind of an escape from that. BUT shes very righteous and by god will go to prison again if it means she can keep u safe! shes very bad when it comes to boundaries but she doesnt do it on purpose, you just have to remind her again and again HEY I DONT LIKE THAT! and eventually itll sink in and she will stand up for u if u dont if someone does somethin u dont like. her hyperfixation is among us and she has a very convoluted oc story centered arouund it :)[she has an amogisona if youd like to see.] OH SHE ALSO loves plants! shes #1 plant fan and if it were up to her she'd have a garden but she's busy enough tending to the plants she's housing in her own room :)

ELSIE he is 27 year old guy with TGUY bisexual swag[no tattoo hes a lil scared of those. What if it hurts] and outside of madcom he lost his left arm to [thankfully not late-stage] bone cancer in his upper arm so he had to get it amputated! hes very very shy and polite but hes extraordinarily bad at talking to people. think fluttershy's introduction from mlp. thats kind oflike him but he does try his best. He gets very nervous and well um hes a little kitty cat and he purrs and tiptoes anddd well he likes scratches behind his ear. hes insecure about just abt every part of himself especially physically, he has a little bit of sexual trauma aswell[along w having had a shitty as hell ex] so that combined with having a hard time standing up for himself makes for unsavory situations. grew up a little too fast. etc. He really likes fish and animals though :) in my mind he's a marine biologist! he looves talking abt fish and his studies and that paper he wrote once about a niche species of fish and all that! hes very emotionally intelligent aswell

[natsmagi]

I love ur art!!!! really its so gorgeous and the style brings me sm joy, its so soft and cute!! and ofc fem ntsmg is THE GOAT!!!!!!

BUT I JUST WANNA ALSO SHOW APPRECIATION FOR HOW U ANSWER ASKS AND STUFF AND IDK JUST UR WHOLE PERSONALITY IN GENERAL?? I love reading ur text posts especially when u kinda analyze the characters and stuff like its so fun to read and tbh, both natsume and tsumugi are characters that I feel are often mischaracterized in the fandom, and like idk I feel like u get them so perfectly and its sooo !??!?! Awesome getting to read ur awesome takes when new events come out and stuff like YOURE SO RIGHT ABT EVERYTHING, i be reading ur posts and going "you!!! YOU FUCKING GET IT!!!!!!!!!!" *happy stimming*

if you honestly did like a proper character analysis for them one day just now i would be so here for it and read it over and over again probably. Im currently hyperfixating RLY HARD on ntsmg so sometimes i just go through ur entire text post/ask tag and read everything over and over again 😭😭😭 I JUST LOVE THIS BLOG IN GENERAL KEEP DOING WHAT YOURE DOING, YOURE ABSOLUTELY AWESOME AND VERY MUCH BASED USER NATSMAGI!!!!♥️♥️♥️♥️

OIUGOHGOOHH OH MY GODDDDD ANONNNNNNNN THIS IS SO SWEET I HARDLY EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAYYYYYYY 😭😭😭😭 THANK YOU SO MUCH U HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME 🥺🥺��💕💕💕💕💕💕

im a very chatty person so im very glad u like hearing what i have to say 🥺!!! and im glad u like my personality too since i feel i can come off as harsh or arrogant sometimes AKJHFSKJH THOUGH TBF I DO TRY MY BEST TO BE KIND......

ID LOOOVE TO ANALYZE NTMG MORE !!! main reason i dont do it as often or hold myself back a bit is because admittedly its been a While since i read alot of the stories, a majority of which i have only read once, and when i make actually Proper analyzes i like to have reread the material and see if i maybe misinterpreted something on my first read or am misremembering, bc when given new info other interactions can be read differently and all that. and i also wanna actually do them justice and not accidentally spread misinfo AJHSFKJH AND I UNFORTUNATELY HAVENT HAD THE TIME NOR ENERGY TO DO THIS </3 but even without remembering every single piece of dialogue verbatim i like to think my grasp on them is still somewhat decent, and im very glad u like my interpretations 🥺❤️

it always makes me so incredibly happy when people view the characters similarly to me aswell bc like u mentioned they Are kinda prone to getting mischaracterized in some ways...... i think it mainly comes from both natsume and tsumugi having MANY factors to their characters though, and the mischaracterization comes from only highlighting one aspect of them and failing to think about how their different attributes overlap (although this can probably be said for the entire cast tbh). like an easy example that im sure everyone gets by now is natsumes little tsundereisms. if you only focus on him being rude to tsumugi it can look like hes just some edgy guy with anger management issues, but when you take into account other factors such as him having a rather spoiled upbringing both by his parents and nii-sans, and his distaste towards feeling "weak" (also caused by his upbringing, since he was frail as a child and raised as a girl) you start to see that oh. alot of that is just him being defensive and emotionally immature. since he had such a comfortable upbringing those hints of discomfort and vulnerability are threatening to him as someone who always had everything handed to him. and when you dont know how to deal with situations like that ASWELL as being afraid of being seen as "weak" youre Gonna start resorting to harsher words and sometimes even get physical because you have no clue how else to handle this. its also why the natsumes character consists of him being pretty obsessed with "growing up" and "not being a kid anymore," because he knows how immature he could be SKHDGJH he doesnt have bad intentions he just. doesnt know how to be vulnerable with people

[cinnamostar]

Hiii 👋🫶

I thought this would be a better way insted of commenting probably three parts 😅

Soooo this is about your newest chapter "Five dates to fall in love" :)

III LOVED THIS CHAPTER SOOO MUCH!!! 🫶🫶

Hyunjin's introspection on his actions and insecurities made him so relatable. I don't see him as a bad person, just someone tangled up in self-destruction, hurting others in the process. Yet, I find him relatable and approachable. Ofc this doesn't mean there shouldn't be consequences.

Another thing I wanted to mention: Your writing is a masterpiece—it's vivid, almost poetic. That sentence about guilt settling in his stomach was phenomenal ("The guilt that made its home in his stomach began to rumble, the bitter taste of it overpowering his sense [...]")! Reading it, I could practically see and feel his emotions (even while I was on work :D). Your storytelling creates such a immersive experience.

Now, back to the story—the market scene was super adorable, and their interactions were just delightful. The ending, though, that was the highlight for me. Reader struggeling between their anger and kindness felt so real.

I loved how reader reflected afterward and was like: "I can't place my emotions second." "There have to be consequences." (my word choices are a bit plain - I hope you get what I mean)

I mean - Reader doesn't have to be mean to him, but I'm so thrilled they prioritized their emotions and hurt over brushing it aside.

Even though I understand Hyunjin's perspective and believe in his remorse, it doesnt erase reader's pain. And that's why I appreciate how they stood up for themselves. It's not about being mean, but acknowledging and asserting their feelings. Your depiction of emotions is spot on.

In conclusion, I just want to express my admiration for your writing—it captures emotions in a way that feels incredibly relatable. I'm genuinely enjoying every bit of this story. Thanks a bunch for sharing your talent! 🫶🫶

I hope you are doing well & have a great dayy!! 🫶

OH MY GOSH HELLO :')!!! this is perhaps the sweetest message i've ever gotten abt my writing and it absolutely made my day, thank you so much <333

im so happy to hear it didn't come off as me trying to pin hyunjin as the bad guy in the story - i was worried it would feel that way with the beginning portion, but i also feel like its important to show that the reader isn't wrong in their emotions, and they also have a support system in place. that's also why later in the story i did my best to focus on hyunjin's own internal struggle with the situation because while what he did was extremely hurtful, he is still capable of recognizing his wrongs and can still feel guilty for it. and its not an easy change for him either! theres also the struggle of him accpeting this as truth now, which is hard when he has been living under another version of reality for two years! he's still human at the end of the day

i wanted the market scene to be exactly that, just a demonstration of the awkwardness of their relationship now, but as well showing that they can be friends despite everything that has happened. my issue with a lot of enemies to lovers stories is how easily the reader accepts the love interest back,,,, and i dont wanna do that because the reader's hurt still matters and one shouldn't throw their feelings aside bc someone else made a mistake and realized it. :o but still! i think it takes a lot of grace to be able to treat someone kindly after all that, so thats also why i added that layer of turmoil for hyunjin to struggle with LOL

my goal is just to show the depth of each of their emotions and perspectives! at the end of the day, theyre both good people trying their best in this silly mess theyre in

THANK U SM FOR YOUR COMPLIMENTS TOO ;w; this absolutely made my week and im sosoososos happy that i was able to portray everything properly!! THANK U I LOVE U AND I HOPE U HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY+WEEKEND <333 mwah

[jeonstellate]

love is · · · — trivias & outtakes

✇༄ spoilers for the entire love is · · · series

✇༄ bulleted list format

masterlist | love is · · · masterlist

[gif’s full credit belongs solely to its owner]

✇༄ disclaimer: twilight from spy x family has nothing to do with this. i just wanted to use a gif of him as a header of sorts. heh.

✇༄ reader/main character will be referred to by their mafia codename ‘sea,’ just to make ramblings easier :]

inspo: plot & conflict

let’s get the general stuff out of the way first

so, this whole mini-series was actually thought of because i watched the “gambler” mv and band version one too many times as i tried to cope w pcd

[i highly recommend the band ver btw. it tempts me to swerve to changkyun every single time, istg]

and then i consequentially topped it off w mafia!aus . . .

truth be told, i wanted to save the hidden baby/secret child trope for future works since i didn’t want to overuse it

[it’s my go-to in my earlier, unpublished works. idk if they’ll ever see the light of day, but they’re def still in my drive somewhere]

i needed a big enough reason for sea to leave a relationship they were otherwise more than happy in — and (un)fortunately, i couldn’t think of any other situation

i figured being responsible for more than their own life should do the trick, so there

a general plot was made, tgt w the root of conflict

a gambler & a danger

ngl, out of all the parts for this mini-series, these two were the only ones that turned out exactly like how i planned them

specifically, the story captured in these two parts were the exact scenes i wanted to tell right from the start

there was no deviation from the original plot/screenplay or whatsoever

it was great

which, now that i think abt it, was prolly why i finished these two relatively quick

since there was no ‘what-if’s to consider

a secret

in contrast, i had a slight difficulty for this part because i had a ‘what-if’ scenario

i had to debate whether hoseok would be traveling alone or not

ngl, i have a tendency to go for the angstier way — but, for this case, the two options had contrasting effects on the story

option one was ultimately made canon

yk, hoseok crosses paths with sea on vacation and basically invites himself to walk around w them lol

but option two . . .

oh boy

did y’all hear abt that one time when hoseok was spotted at the airport w kihyun and changkyun? (it was after wonho became a soloist, so ot7 stans won that day *insert star eyes here*)

but yea, i basically took inspo from that and went— what if?

what if hoseok and then changkyun spotted sea?

then, different from canon, the convo they’d have would be significantly shorter since sea would feel more apprehensive about being in the same place as MX members

neither hoseok nor changkyun would have a chance to get close enough to learn kian’s name or even play w her since sea would of course leave as soon as possible

it’s debatable if sea would even get to think abt asking hoseok and changkyun the favor of not telling the others abt seeing them in their vacation

but, either way, the men’s eyes were still faster than sea since they already caught a glimpse of bebe kian

who, as hoseok canonically puts it, “looks a lot like her father”

now here’s the part that makes me scream— it’s so angsty i personally love it:

what if, as sea turned to leave, they saw someone not too far away who eerily looks like kihyun? looking at them? looking at kian?

[*screams*]

angst level through the roof already ik, but lemme make it worse

sea was written to have a strong resolve, someone who is selfish and selfless at the same time, someone who doesn’t back down easily

so yk what? even if they made eye contact w that person who eerily resembled kihyun, they would pretend they weren’t spooked

they would still leave . . . bc they already made their choice

as for the reason why i didn’t go with that route, even if it was literally the angstiest of the two aka my type lol

personally, i felt like option two would waste all of sea’s efforts to get away

i mean— sure, they would still reunite w kihyun eventually [bc yes, no matter what sea does, they’re still meant to end up w him]

but at least w option one, they had more time to enjoy their freedom — and w that extra time, they were able to have no regrets abt ruining an eight-year long of otherwise perfectly fine relationship

plus, if they saw each other then, sea would still be able to get away since it’d take kihyun a while to recover from his shock

but once he processed everything? he will try to find them. no amount of SVT’s countermeasures and precautions would be able to stop him. he will find sea and kian within two months — three months, tops.

however, as touched on in ‘a compass,’ that was exactly what sea didn’t want. bc they’d eventually end up hating him for real

overall, as much as i love angst, i didn’t want the series to get too messy once the domino effect hits, that was why i ultimately made option one canon

inspo: yoo kian

originally, i planned kian to be a boy

[just bc bb boys are my default for hidden baby!aus for some reason??? yea idk, either]

but then, yk how for some ppl you just see what gender of children “suit” them the best? like, minhyuk’s def a girl dad??

yea . . . same logic for kihyun. although his interactions w kylo are v uwu, i still see him as a girl dad. perhaps not as strong as my vision for minhyuk, but it’s still there

as for her name, sea never planned to completely erase kihyun in her life

they wanted to raise her away from him and out of his radar, yes, but they still wanted kian to have a piece of him wherever they go

hence sea let kian carry his surname and even share a syllable of her name w him

and they were only confident abt doing that bc, again, kihyun didn’t know abt bebe kian — he can’t track both of them using someone he didn’t even know existed

ik the spelling of her name can be considered masculine, but i merely romanized how her name would be written in hangul (키안/기안), so i see no point in giving her the feminine spelling of it

oh! i almost forgot: kian wasn’t actually the first name i thought of for sea and kihyun’s kid

i already forgot what the first name was, but the name kian was thought of after i remembered abt sian from tros lol

inspo: mafia codes

i wanted everyone to have a mafia codename of sorts

the members w stage names were easy, also those w alternate names (as in hyungwon’s case) since i just used those

but for those who have their real names as their stage names, i had to be creative

jooheon became ‘honey,’ after his current stage name that i keep forgetting [srly, i always forget that he goes by joohoney now T_T]

minhyuk became ‘gorae,’ which is korean for whale, his favorite animal

the only one i rlly had trouble w was kihyun’s code name

i personally associate him w hamsters, but i couldn’t thing of anything that could make ‘hamster’ as a code name intimidating, so i had to look for inspiration somewhere else

somehow, in my quest, i stumbled upon the fact that ‘yoo’ — kihyun’s last name — can be spelled as ‘ryu’ in the past

hence his code name ‘ryuki’

as for SVT members . . . there’s a reason why not all of them appeared in the series lol

i mean— besides the fact that it’s a MX-centered fic, most of them go by their real names on stage

and i rlly don’t have the energy to give everyone a creative code name lol

still, i came up with some just in case i ran out of members who have stage names

thus ‘player’ for wonwoo, after the carmen sandiego character and also the fact that he’s a gamer

‘moon’ for junhui, after his korean surname (문)

and two more back-ups i didn’t get to use: ‘ghost’ for seungkwan, solely bc his last name is boo [sometimes i think i’m funny] && ‘polar’ for hansol vernon, after his current emoji representative

though imma be honest

i have no idea who ‘labri’ is

when i first thought of the code name, it rooted from the word ‘lovely.’ when i tried to write it in hangul, it became ‘랍리’ or ‘labli’/‘labri’/‘lablee’/‘rabri’/— you get the idea

but with that, two members come to mind personally: jeonghan and mingyu

if ‘labri’ is jeonghan, it could also be the case that ‘labri’ came from ‘libra’ aka his zodiac sign, with a couple letters switched

however, if ‘labri’ is mingyu, it could also be the case that ‘labri’ came from ‘labrador’

so yea, idk who he is

a favor

despite being angsty, this part was a lil difficult to write ngl

i literally had to rewrite the entire thing three times before i finally had something i was satisfied w

i knew what i wanted to write, specifically what scenes i wanted to show, it was just a matter of how i should tell it

MX’s introduction to kian was originally captured in great detail as in move-for-move

but then . . . idk what was actually wrong w it, but it just seemed wrong for some reason???

i still saved that draft somewhere bc those scenes were so cute to me, but yea . . . i ultimately rewrote it

[sometimes i just don’t get how my brain works, sigh]

funnily enough, the scene that convinced me to even write this part in the first place didn’t even make the cut

like ‘a secret,’ this part also had a ‘what if’ — one that also had a contrasting effect to the story

the second idea was what i made canon

yk— wonho volunteered for the alliance but ryuki ended up the one getting engaged after MX pieced kian’s parentage tgt

but in the initial idea . . .

honey was chosen for the alliance

i didn’t work out how he was picked, but i did work out that he was v reluctant abt it — as in he wasn’t totally on board w it, but still agreed anw bc it was for MX’s future

sea wasn’t SVT’s pick for the marriage in this version tho

instead, honey was set to marry periwinkle aka perrie — someone who wasn’t part of SVT’s core, but a high-ranking member nonetheless

their dynamic was supposed to be like enemies-to-lovers, since both of them weren’t really fond of the idea

perrie was supposed to be rlly close w sea tho: partly bc the former was one of their “guards” until they left the country

which led to sea attending the wedding as a show of support

i mean— sure, for this ver, sea is still avoiding ryuki as much as they can, but with the alliance between SVT-MX pretty much complete, they're a bit more lax abt it than in canon

also bc of the logic that MX didn't find them to begin w before they crossed paths again, so the threat "make sure we never find you" in ‘a gamble’ is still in sea's favor

now here's the scene that convinced me to write this part in the first place but didn't even make the cut:

as it happened in canon, labri still mistakingly hands kian to the MX members before hurriedly leaving

and that event is still the reason why MX members will be able to piece together kian's parentage

although, for this ver, kian will resemble sea more than ryuki

[honestly idk how kian ended up looking like ryuki more in canon when i’ve been dead-set that she should look like her mapa more right from the beginning T_T]

[hoseok’s comment in ‘a secret’ was only supposed to be a signal like “i know who the father is”]

they will still be able to figure it out tho based on her features and other “coincidences”

unlike in canon tho, the one who will pick her up from MX’s house is sea

think “you fcking did WHAT? labri, you’re fcking DEAD. don’t fcking go near my daughter, i’m mad at you. i’ll pick her up myself”

yea, sea’s furious at labri oki

[like, so v much so that they literally signed up to go to the lion’s den unaccompanied without much thought]

and understandably so, since hello?? this whole thing was abt keeping kian & kihyun apart???

not to worry, though

surprisingly enough, had they met this way, they would’ve been pretty civil . . . and calm

i didn’t work out the logistics, but kihyun supposedly harbor no ill feelings for sea in this ver

it’s like . . . after piecing kian’s parentage, he just figures out what exactly happened and just . . . understood

so, yea

for this ver, “the talk” that happened in ‘a compass’ is a lot quieter and calmer

like it literally takes place while the other members painstakingly gather everything that belongs to kian that had been scattered around the house lol

and as a sort of soft epilogue, sea and ryuki would meet again in honey and periwinkle’s wedding reception

where it would be alluded that they would be a couple again in the future

and then [*hits the slate*] CUT

.

.

.

ngl i rlly looked forward to writing the reunion in this ver since it was the reason this part exist in the first place

but

as i progressed writing the opening scenes for this particular part, i realized it didn’t seem realistic that ryuki would just let sea off the hook that easily

sure, this is fiction and all, but i figured kihyun at least deserves some time to show sea that the trauma they caused wasn’t okay

cuz yk . . . we can’t just invalidate ppl’s feelings like that

so yeah

that’s why canon is the way it is

a journey & a compass

frankly, these two parts wouldn’t’ve existed if not for the anons that asked abt them

cuz i fully intended to just end the story in ‘a favor’

partly bc i knew if i extended the story beyond that, i would have no choice but to actually address kihyun’s trauma

not that there was smth wrong w doing that, it’s just . . . i didn’t want to mess it up

even if it’s fictional, that trauma is heavy yk

i think i messed it up anw but yk it is what it is ig

ngl there was only supposed to be one part after ‘a favor’

but, while i was writing ‘a journey,’ i noticed that there would be a shift in the tone?— the color?— idk how to phrase it— of the story

so i decided that it would be best to split the supplementary part into two

one focusing on the “pretending”

and the other on the “closure”

as i mentioned on one of my replies to an anon, the keyword for the last set of supplemental parts was ‘wedding’

yea, i technically could’ve just went straight to ‘a compass’ without having to write ‘a journey,’ that’s true

but there were some information in ‘a journey’ that i needed to mention

don’t ask what it was bc i can’t recall now lol

but yea that’s why there was ‘a journey’ before ‘a compass’ :D

inspo: significant others

sea actually had a name in the first draft of ‘a gamble’ bc i originally didn’t plan on sharing the story here

and every time a story is exclusively for me, i tend to create ocs since that’s what i did before my tumblr writer era

[yes, that’s why my mcmxcvii & mcu stuff are x oc . . . those universes were built years ago]

but anw

sea’s name was choi gaeul

they were supposed to share their last name with their cousin seungcheol

wait actually let me elaborate

they were named as such first

with their first name being from chu gaeul of boys over flowers [aka half of one of my first ships as a kid uwu]

&& then when the time came to pick a relative who share the same surname, seungcheol became an obvious choice

ergo, SVT was ultimately inserted in the story

ergo, the codename ‘autumn’ later on became out of question since that’s what gaeul meant

ngl had i published the story w an oc, bb kian’s full name would’ve easily been choi kian

which strangely would’ve changed the story in ‘a favor’ & onwards now that i think abt it

huh

anw sea’s occupation is an architect

why? solely bc of a small fact mentioned in ‘a journey’: so i can say that they thought seungcheol would simply ask them to design a blueprint for SVT’s house as a favor

that’s v shallow ik, but i always try to be as vague and as general as possible in my x reader fics

so when i do specify some things, they’re more likely than not thought of last min and had to be made bc i had no other choice

that includes the name drops for minhyuk’s and changkyun’s respective partners, actually — since i couldn’t just refer to them as their other half every single time

they’re more than just that yk

i came up with minhyuk’s partner’s name first — nari — bc they were supposed to be mentioned by name in ‘a favor,’ right in the beginning when it was discussed that them & minhyuk were already married by then

for extra measure, i also planned out some things abt nari & their relationship w minhyuk just in case i needed them

like how nari’s works in a flower shop & somehow met minhyuk there one day, allowing for their love story to start [yea, they got the florist-mafia trope. it’s cute]

&& also how nari is actually pregnant during ‘a favor’ & onwards

them seeking advice from sea abt giving birth & parenthood was actually my back up plan for the story flow lol

actually, that also includes them offering to babysit kian for “experience” [one of my drafts actually had a scene where ryuki & sea had a fight abt this lol]

funnily enough, the name nari was thought of bc i remembered abt the narra tree

it was rlly random, but that basically gave my name search a direction — name starting w n, meaning possibly related to plants

&& tada~ nari means ‘lily’ — or so google says

i didn’t bother thinking of a surname for nari though, or hayeon too, for that matter

in fact, changkyun’s partner has less info planned out compared to nari

most likely bc i didn’t intend them to play a huge role in the series or appear at all

but alright, here’s everything i came up w abt changkyun’s partner

their name hayeon was from one of the former kids in tros [i just think it’s a beautiful-cute name, nothing else]

they’re a doctor, speciality unknown — most likely smth related to surgery tho

mostly bc the trope that i thought for them two involves kyun getting wounded && hayeon fixing him up

i did consider that hayeon was prolly the first person to know abt sea’s pregnancy

and, for some reason, sea was alright w them knowing

specifically, for wtv reason, sea knew hayeon would keep that knowledge a secret from MX

i didn’t rlly flesh out the ‘why,’ exactly, but it was def hinted in ‘a compass’

smth abt what happened to hayeon will fs prompt MX to tighten their security/surveillance around sea when they find out that they’re pregnant

ngl what ‘happened’ may or may not have involved hayeon getting kidnapped . . .

and let’s just say hayeon believes that it’s better to stay away from any mafia than to accept some sort of protection from them

based on their experience, yk the mafia protection basically failing them, they have the right to feel that way

so yeah: sea knowing that particular belief of theirs def played a part on why sea would feel safe sharing their secret w them

&& also why hayeon was intentionally ‘absent’ in the series compared to nari whose scenes just got cut: they were staying as far away from all the mafia shenanigans as much as possible

which, really, wasn’t difficult for them to do given that they’re a doctor & everything

since we’re on the topic, i might as well mention this

hayeon & changkyun’s on-&-off relationship was def influenced by their kidnapping

i won’t go to details bc i didn’t actually flesh it out

but, as i see it rn, their story def has so much angst in it that i can’t even guarantee a ‘happy ending’ for them if i ever write it

final notes

this rambling has gone on longer than i intended

i didn’t realize i had so much to say abt the ‘behind’ of this series oml

but anw

to close, i just want take a moment to thank you guys for reading & showing interest in ‘love is · · ·’

it’s the first series i finished wo having all the parts prewritten before posting, so all the interactions — the likes, the reblogs, the comments, the messages — really drove this to completion

i read all the reblogs, tags, comments, & msgs btw, even if i only replied to the asks

mostly bc i despise how it’s my ‘main’ blog that replies whenever i answer a comment smh

&& like . . . idk how i can answer reblogs/tags . . .

i love reading them, actually

i went back to read every single one of them multiple times to help me finish everything. they helped me a lot fr

and i uh— i’m so sorry i broke your hearts several times

i’m admittedly just good at dropping angsty one-liners && my fluffy writing needs a lot of work

so hopefully the hopeful ending made all the heartbreak worth it . . . somehow. somewhat.

if there’s anything you’re curious abt that i didn’t address in this lengthy ramble, pls send me an ask here!!

feel free to send me other stuff through there too: what you liked abt this series, what frustrated you, idk. wtv else you think of

that way i can actually reply *insert dancer emoji, three times, here*

forewarning tho: you might get a reply that’s more than what you asked for bc i tend to overshare—

but anw yea

from the v bottom of my heart, thank you for tuning to ‘love is · · ·’ and following ryuki & sea’s story (⌒▽⌒)♡

[intertexts-moving]

HHHHHHHHHHH

so funny story i saw that post you made some time ago when you were liveblogging the cloak scene, the "did it hurt" scene and it significantly changed my view

also ive never looked at their second meeting that way before. i have many thoughts re: first conversation, first interaction (? is it an interaction when you try to flirt with a stranger up the banister and they ignore you?,,, asking for a friend), but never paid much attention to the ehem conVENIENT "you fall i catch" thing beyond how weirdly interesting it is. since wkx has no romantic/platonic/personal-anything intention at all at that point, but subconsciously is very much drawn to the guy still. but yeah actually, this is kind of spot on. HH oh god fuck im not going to be normal about this. i thought i was insane when i clocked that their first conversation, when wkx starts talking about that butcher and about how it must be impossible for someone to have that level of skill as zzs being in disguise without any traces of it at all suggests, has so many layers already. hes speaking there as if he has perceived zzs without realizing it. perceived him as this guy who has basically made himself into a myth (like wkx himself!) and as this thing completely unattinable for him, a man mirroring him down to his soul and living a life he can only dream of. the yearning!!! ughghguhgg. the complete lack of self-awareness of it!!!! the hilarity of the situation because wkx is right, and he is literally only following a gut instinct, and he has no idea!!! i thought i was overthinking it a little. im glad im not alone there, seeing things in their first interactions that, without ever really being talked about, ripple deep into the story??

and oh a mutual tag! thats a great idea im going to do that too. siren is very much fine, what would you like me to tag you as?

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah yeahyeah ive been thinking abt this all day actually.. like. the subconscious recognition. the like. the inherent understanding the two of them have even b4 they know each other!!! first thing zzs ever thinks abt wkx is the "somehow, in this vast sea of strangers, he still found someone who understood." the first reaction he pulls out of wkx is that hey. huh. i was right? moment when he hears him echo that he was sunbathing. & its so indicative of how they continue on out from there- iirc, wkx never tells zzs he's the ghost valley master. zzs never actively tells wkx about the nails. or any of the other shit they have going on. its the. silent hunch & feeling things out & recognition... like fumbling around in a dark room except they find the light switch every time first try.

& YEAH i havent thought abt it that way b4 but u are SO right... the inherent hilarity of wkx just. really just making fifty educated guesses in a row about zzs and each one of them hitting spot on. the way that yeah the only reason that it. Works. is bcos they genuinely are mirrors of each other& all the things they see abt the other map back onto themselves too..

also GOD. i think abt the cloak scene & wkx's way of interacting w/ zzs so much.. this is. probably bcos i'm disabled (re: chronic fatigue & illness etc.) & i've had variously disabled friends & like... idk. i recognize it!!! the way he is like. "okay. i'm treating you like normal i'm not gonna be weird about it i'm gonna try not to make you uncomfortable about it. but nevertheless if you're in pain i'm going to help you in the most straightforward way possible. idiot. just because i dont treat you like you're glass doesn't mean i'm gonna let you hurt. just because your body is slowly running down like a broken machine doesn't mean i'm gonna treat you like you're made of glass. i want to do whatever i can for you though ok?".....makes me froth at the mouth NFNSDFKSDFD.

[baeshijima]

To: Sophie,

Subject: Ranting on that one Alhaitham cutscene

Come to think of it now,

Alhaitham had never raised his voice except when he 'goes insane'

Honestly, he's as intimidating as he is when he's always having that rather calm and neutral look on his face nearly 24/7 (I'm sure he would look quite relaxed and cute when he's asleep)

And the way he scans his surroundings and his sharp (and very beautiful) eyes manage to catch every tiny detail, he's an absolute genius— almost like he's a mind reader from the way he can read people too!

*ahem*

I love him and all, but that one cutscene in particular rendered me absolutely speechless (honestly, any cutscene with him in it has already earned my love, it's so fun because he's such a complex character!)

It just somehow made me wonder about the scenarios in which Alhaitham would raise his voice, but honestly, I can't think of any such situation; Alhaitham is really blunt with his words— he's brutally honest a lot of times.

So I reached the conclusion that he didn't need to yell because he had always had a way with words

( Also, I saw this somewhere on tumblr itself, not sure which post exactly and couldn't find it, but it said: Alhaitham puts the 'acting' in 'acting grad sage' and gosh they are so right )

Wishing for your happiness,

🍀

nonnie ur so based for thinking abt this specific cutscene !! and ur so so right abt him being such a complex character !! on face value hes a cold, arrogant asshole who only seems to put himself on a pedestal and has a disregard for fickle complexities such as emotional drive and irrational perspectives. in actuality, hes someone who does understand the complexities of the inner self and the deep-rooted meaning of sentimental value — why else would he retain his passed family members possessions, leading the peaceful life his grandma wanted him to have? his story quest has shown as much, even more so when reading through his character story !!

hes meticulous and observant of his surroundings, but that allows him to rationally respond to the environment (well, until hes so consumed with emotion that is, ehehhe)

but yes !! i get what u mean abt him not needing to yell, but i raise u this: alhaitham, who has never felt the need nor the stimulus to have such strong emotions evoked probably ever his grandmas passing, but upon hearing about nahidas treatment from the sages and how they steadily made sumeru forget her, the cap that once sealed over his reigned in emotions bursting open at the inexplicable anguish he was consumed with, and then deciding to translate those heavy emotions into his "act" when opposing azar; the raw, unbridled anger being conveyed through his guttural yell.

gn i went on a character analysis tangent 🐥

but since u talked abt him possibly looking relaxed and cute when asleep, i shall grace u with the official bday art of him, in fact, asleep ;w;;

sobs look at him go 🥹🥹🥹🫶🫶🫶

[somethhing-someethinng]

sometimes when im talking to someone in a language that ive just started learning/aren't very fluent at yet. lets say its my L6 and its Portuguese (a nod to my qsmp friends) and someone says a word ( like obrigado) thats sounds like its similar enough to another language L4 (like arigato in Japanese). it momentarily makes my next words become that language L4 but i know my response is supposed to be in L6 so instead my words just die. same thing happens when im talking in other languages like my L2 is Hindi but sometimes my pronunciations bring my L1 bangla accents (u can tell the difference. its awkward dealing w/ the অ and अ difference of hindi and bangla) and i ultimately freeze up.

but i dont think people 'switch' like that in the middle of a conversation at worst they will pause and then test out the next few words before continuing again.

also certain stressful situations when speaking to i L2 (english) friends IN L2 isnt enough and i have to switch to L1(3,4,5,6) to spit out a few words before tuning back in.

also (i don't know how much it is prevalent in other languages) but my L1 (bangla) has specific dialects with specific words tht don't make sense in other dialects. there is also a 'proper' dialect every child is taught to speak. but i found out the hard way that you sometimes just switch.

ok, story time: average discord call w/ friends. I don't talk that much but when i do its in a perfect ameriacn accent (w/ british words thrown in btw!!!!! english is so weird) that i copied from movies. most a few of the others in the call are also bilingual who have english as their second language but are still fluent in it nonetheless.

new person joined. never really spoke to this person audibly before but have chatted with him. I'm doing origami and he's apparently playing. i have another bangla speaking friend that i know irl in the same call.

i guess he dies or smth cuz i hear a ᴰᴴᴬᵀ⁻ᵗᵉʳᶦᵏᵃ from him and i snap my head and go "YOOO? BHAI??? TUI KEDA RE ETO CHENA CHENA LAGTASE???????? (translation: YOOO? DUDE??? WHO ARE YOU YOU'RE KINDA FAMILIAR) there is a pause and i hear him go "EIII! TUI EKHONO BAICHHA ASOS???" (translation: HEYYY! YOU'RE STILL ALIVE) (long story we were irl classmates and i haven't heard from him in a while) other people in our call congratulate us for finding a third bangla speaking person and then we both start rapid fire talking in bangla at one point someone jokingly asks the third guy (lets call him red) asks red if he can translate for them to which he deadpans "no hes from Barisal i can't understand a third of the words hes saying"

AND HE WAS GENUINE ABT IT. like red legit couldn't understand him cuz we switched into the weird dhaka-(home district) hybrid language most students in dhaka spoke the moment we got excited and started catching up w/ each other. red couldn't understand cuz he didn't know the barisal dialect and is not from dhaka but I could understand him just fine despite being unable to understand the barisal dialect fully as well.

sometimes i also watch dramas that are MADE OUR COUNTRY IN THE SAME LANGUAGE OF BANGLA and not understand a WORD being spoken w/o the subtitles cuz they are speaking adialect so far away from dhaka that it practically in comprehensible (srsly look up a map of bangladesh in the main 7 divisions the farther towards the hills it goes the more incomprehensible it becomes. the dialect of dhaka is so much different from the one in sylhet which is different from the one in chittagong.

but still ( @etfrin ) i implore u to understand how much of it was a shock to realise that people from like, lets say brahmanbaria could not understand the dhaka hybrid language that we students speak bc its got WAY too many additions from other dialects of other districs and just stopped making sense for them!

also, plz i wanna know more dialect shenanigans yall have faced w/ ur languages.

contrary to popular belief, someone who is fluent in their second language (L2) is unlikely to slip into their first language (L1)  in these circumstances:

if someone just said something to them in L2 (this a big unconscious cue, and you’d be really unlikely to respond in L1 right after that)

when swearing in the middle of a sentence (e.g. “oh merde, i forgot my keys!”)

during sex

when speaking to someone they normally speak to in L2

it is slightly more common in these circumstances:

swearing, as long it’s not part of a sentence (e.g. they might just mutter “merde” if they forgot their keys)

if they’re surprised (especially if falling/tripping or experiencing sudden pain!)

when speaking to someone they normally speak to in L1

in their sleep or talking to themselves

when very disoriented, such as when concussed or on certain drugs

that being said, it is very common for people to intentionally use their first language in front of people who don’t speak it for a variety of reasons (they might use a short expression they only know in L1, call their partner pet names, dirty talk during sex because their partner finds it attractive) – but this is on purpose!

also this doesn’t account for people who grew up in an environment where people often mix multiple languages in their speech (e.g. spanglish or franglais) – in that case, they may accidentally drop an L1 swear into an L2 sentence, though they’ll still generally stick to L2 when speaking to people who only speak that language

[dayasusays]

Hcs for how Dick flirts with his oblivious crush please?

LETS CHAT ABT THIS.

look at him. HE’S SILLY.

i mean REALLY silly, he looks at you and thinks smth like “she’s so pretty… i wish i could just bend down and-”

when you look at him with those handsome eyes, he blinks and smiles, in his brain a lot of compliments, but he’s saying “you’re so pretty”. and he realises IT’S SUCH A CLICHE…

no one can handle dick’s crush. especially jason, bc dick followed him to the library. bc he saw you there once. bc you smiled at him with that cute smile… and he’s lost.

dick’s staring at you all of the fucking time. i mean, he can’t look away; you’re just so beautiful, gorgeous- when you fix your hair/makeup his heart is doing backflip, you shouldn’t be so attractive!!!

dick suspects he looks like a weirdo and he doesn’t wanna scare you off (T-T)

every time you walk past him, look at him, smile at him, wave your hand at him, talk to him, when you just around jason swears, dick’s pupils turns into little hearts.

and hear me out, he’ll flirt. he will. 100%. full confidence. just imagine his silly flirt… but it’s smooth as fuck. “you’re made of nitroglycerin? because you’re just dynamite!” or “you must be magician… because any time i look at you, everyone else disappears.” (this is true though)

if you flirt back, you have to see his face. HE’S BLUSHING LIKE A TEENAGER WITH YOU!!! and there’s you, two adults, who is blushing like teens bc you find him attractive as hell too 😭

or another situation: you patrol with him.

and you suspect he switched with someone because you definitely weren't supposed to patrol with him.

BUT DICK LOOKS SO HAPPY TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU!!!

he can’t stop talking abt everything when you’re around. and he makes you laugh, telling his stories; dick’s eyes glowing when you laugh and put your hand on his shoulder.

he’ll flirt with you anyway. in any situation. every time. he doesn't care if it's a fight or if you stop for a meal after a long patrol. BELIEVE ME, HE DOESN’T CARE.

dick comes at you from behind, resting his head on your shoulder and whispering in your ear: “need help, sweetheart?”. and it’s not smth new, he does it at least once every time he sees you and you think it’s normal for someone flirtatious, coquette and nice like him.

and everyone tells you, he’s definitely in love with you, BUT YOU THINK LIKE “isn’t dick like that with everyone?”

believe me, he’s not. he’s like that only with you, his biggest crush of his life!!! he’s so sweet and kind, nice and funny, gentleman and sweetcheeks-

oh gosh, are you in love with him too? are you?

kinda tired bc i’m on a trip, so it’s messy?? sorry my sweeties 😭

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

wife wife i have no music taste, but you feel musical to me! will you drop any songs you relate to your universes stans, kyles and style in general? if not music books, other characters, pieces of media, quotes, poems? i am insatiable darling <3

YOYOYO!!!!!!

First of all hello my wife my wife the love of my life! (I did in fact ride half of my first year of college on a music scholarship)

OKAY so you know how heavily I associate Fall Out Boy with Stan in general (mostly bc I like projecting and I’m a gremlin abt fob) SPECIFICALLY Infinity On High (I know we’ve discussed this before and yes I’m still unhinged abt the 27 rm thing) AND I’ve said a LOT abt OrangeJuiceVerse Stan being musically inclined as one of his main outlets.

(I will be mainly sticking to ojv bc that do be my main focus atm)

So Stan will play literally whatever on the guitar and he can improvise SO WELL!!! Like it’s wild but he’s just like eh it’s a casual hobby but he hears a song and immediately knows the basic chord progression and bpm he’s the king of countermelodies too. Kenny will start playing something and then Stan will pop in with the most gorgeous harmonies and just…. fall in.

Stan will listen to ANYTHING he especially loves songs with a story (I’m sticking to ATLCTS for him being a Tenacious D fan bc I very much enjoy that) and Kyle, while Stan is all “LISTEN TO THAT CELLO BREAK” Kyle Is all fully into the lyricism and losing his shit about RAINDROPS ON ROSES AND GIRLS IN WHITE DRESSES AND SLEEPING WITH- (I feel like they have similar tastes but for different reasons if u get me)

My Kyle’s for sure are lyrics gremlins. Stan will be like KEY CHANGE KEY CHANGE but Kyle will be WAIT LOOK THE STORY HOLY SHIT SYMBOLISM(smh they whole ass watch musicals together and neither of them stfu) (losers)

(This is unhinged I’m eepy) so song specific idk man but I feel in my soul that Stan’s hopeless romantic ass serenades Kyle on a regular basis ESPECIALLY when he’s in an Emo Boy Mood like this man thinks he’s Orpheus or something ALSO Stan is incredibly specific about having certain playlists for every single situation and the “Super Best Spicy Time” playlist is INCREDIBLY LAME!!! (I’m talkin Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls and Mr Brightside was playing during their first time) like they are losers your honor

On FOB Stan I’m currently specifically feeling him with What A Catch, The (After) Life Of The Party, From Now On We Are Enemies, Golden, Fame< Infamy, The (Shipped) Gold Standard, She’s My Winona, Disloyal Order, A Little Less Sixteen Candles, Heavens Gate, SOPHOMORE SLUMP IS SO STYLE OMG

Sorry that was a lot I’m very passionate abt the fob Stan thing

EVERY LAME ASS SAPPY LOVE SONG IS EXTREMELY STYLE TO ME!!! If We Were Vampires by Jason Isbell, I’ll Follow You Into The Dark by Death Cab For Cutie, LINE WITHOUT A HOOK?!? Nothing Matters But You by The Young Veins, Northern Downpour and When The Day Met The Night by Panic, I Think I Love You by Tenacious D, All I Ask Of You from Phantom (btw I saw someone draw a style phantom of the opera au it slayed so hard), Goodbye Yellow Brick Road by Elton John (there’s this scene in a fic I read where Stan plays it for Kyle on his guitar and I lost my mind), ofc Carry On Wayward Son, Accidentally In Love by the counting crows, Turn Off The Lights from the Vices and Virtues bonus tracks, As Long As You’re Mine from Wicked (I feel like Kyle fuckinh loves Wicked) All I’ve Ever Known from Hadestown.

OJV Kyle for sure listens to the acoustic versions of pop songs and is SUCH a sap (he won’t admit it as much as Stan tho) like he’ll pause a song after a particularly clever or romantic line and just be like DID YOU HEAR THAT! Stan writes songs every once in a while and whenever he writes for Ky he always tries to paint a story because that’s what Kyle likes help I love them so much

As for other media I associate w the boys, bruh lemme tell ya the sp brainrot is so real I physically cannot watch or read anything without imagining a couple as style (literally last night my partner and I were watching the picture lock of the last feature we worked on and I’m over here looking at the two main characters like hmm who is Stan who is Kyle I’m the WORST)

Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure is so Them to me holy shit like best friends getting into situations and being obsessed with each other I love that shit (u can’t tell me Bill and Ted aren’t in love)

This comes as no surprise to anyone but Lord Of The Rings for sure, especially since i decided that they speak elvish to each other on the regular

I’ve also said it before but!!! As a massive PJO/Riordanverse fan, THEY ARE SO PERCABETH CODED!!! We got Stan/Percy as the reluctant hero who everyone looks to, Kyle/Annabeth as the badass short tempered voice of reason, like DUDE.

(Also I hope you know how much your fics have influenced my mindset like I’ll drive past Taco Bell and be like o look style moment and I saw Fireball at the gas station and thought abt rm Stan)

Anyway this is long as SHIT I’m completely insane it’s fine THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK ILY