#every once in a while I do see these posts that are talking abt how she was the favorite and its just. I want to throttle someone. how on

[smokestarrules]

I keep on thinking about amity how she was treated as the scapegoat child and was made to be believe she was the golden child

That's exactly the (reprehensible) genius of Alador and Odalia.

In the Blight family, Amity's always been the odd one out in more than a few ways. She's never quite enough, always falling just short of expectations no matter how hard she works. She's less powerful than her siblings are, she doesn't resemble Odalia as much as her mother would like, and most importantly: she's isolated.

Amity has been told her entire life that she needs to be successful to be loved, so she did her absolute best to be successful, even when those things were going against what she herself wanted.

Emira and Edric probably don't get as much attention from their parents as Amity does, and this drives the wedge between the three of them even deeper. The twins act out on some level for attention which makes Amity bitter because they aren't punished the way she would be, so she tells on them and they eventually retaliate against her in turn. Everything in that household is stacked against Amity, but because she's given the illusion that her hard work is making things better, it's as if she's the one her parents love the most.

She's not.

[skitskatdacat63]

Boy King Seb :D

[wereh0gz]

Is my discomfort with my boobs gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, or just a general discomfort with the sensations of having a human body that comes with possible neurodivergency

[mokutone]

Yamato from One Piece is canonically a trans man therefore Yamato from Naruto is also canonically a trans man

kjghskjgdhs i know u are being silly but there's actually plenty of canon material to support a trans reading of Tenzō, and its a reading of the text which is near + dear to my heart

[arolesbianism]

Thinking abt how much I love oni's writing again... In particular, "a seed is planted" continues to be one of if not my favorite logs because despite the troubling details and implications that come with it, it's the one thing in the entirety of the decaying corpse of gravitas that genuinely leaves us with a grain of hope (a seed if you will) and makes oni as a whole a lot more bitter sweet as while earth may not have survived, the dupes did, and after their horrible origins and the shit that many of them went through, in due time they'll finally get to just live, they're free now, and even if Olivia's sleep is end of a tragedy, the world will keep moving forward with or without those who've been lost

[allisonlol]

Bsd characters with a s/o who does only fans?

a/n: omg hello?? i’m BACK. thank y’all for all the love in my absence btw…we hit 3k awhile ago and i didn’t say anything so TYSM❗️🫶🏻 here are some little hc’s to get me back into the swing of things. i chose a bunch of randoms!

warnings: mild sexual content, implied violence

BSD Characters When You Have an Onlyfans

Dazai:

first and foremost lol

he is DEFINITELY down for this shit

you need him to take photos for you? he already has the camera open on his phone. you wanna record something with him? you blink and his clothes will already be on the FLOOR

i feel like dazai already has a thing for recording sex, so he loves it

i’m sensing a bit of voyuerism with the way he wants other people to watch y’all 🤨

also doxxes and hunts down the people who leak ur shit 🫵🏻❌

Chuuya

hmm mixed opinions on this one

like. chuuya doesn’t wanna control u or tell u what to do, but…

he is too possessive a man to be alright with u having an onlyfans

is embarrassed to admit this tho and will just be like “oh…okay” while avoiding looking you in the eye if u ever mention it

completely avoids getting involved with it…sorry but you’ll have to take ur own pictures.

don’t get me wrong, he likes to see them after and always think u look incredible!! chuuya just hates to imagine all the other men doing the same and worse to them

bro will hustle even more to provide enough money for you to get off the net 💀

Akutagawa

u had to tell him what onlyfans was and even then, he was like “erm…”

i feel like he doesn’t take it too seriously. at first almost considers it like instagram 😭

but once u ask him to help take pics for you, and he sees what ur (not) wearing, he’s suddenly like “what’s all this abt…”

let’s you continue to post but only if he can stand in the background of each picture with a knife ���

besides that, he doesn’t like being on camera for videos or anything. doesn’t feel comfy with u filming what he considers ur most intimate moments 👎🏻

Nikolai

don’t have to ask him twice!! this man is even more eager than dazai

becomes his goal to get you to the top 1% (and y’all get pretty damn close)

your photos and videos turn much kinkier once nikolai joins you

gets u new lingerie to wear for each photo set, buys u a bunch of toys, proposes new ideas for videos…might as well give this man 50% of profits

almost starts to take over YOUR onlyfans…makes an appearance in every post 💀

Fyodor

i’m unapologetic about this one

it’s an immediate and definite no

demands u delete the account and “respect yourself more” 🤨🤨

(covering up for his extreme possessiveness…he cannot stand any “vile men” looking at u)

u try to show him the photos on there and he shoves your phone away, talking some shit abt how it’s disgusting??

i feel like fyodor has one of those weird madonna-whore complexes…whole other thing to get into but basically he doesn’t even like to see sexual photos of u most of the time 💀

ur messing with his religious vibe!! don’t tempt him!!

taglist: @deadmitochondria @miycutie @chuuyasboots @shy-socially-awkward-intovert @beandaifuku @stygianoir @sonder-paradise @irethepotato @serenareiss @ashthemadwriter @mrsdostoevsky @creamygojo @disa-ster

[leilanihours]

# YOUR LOVE IS A SECRET I'M HOPING, DREAMING, DYING TO KEEP

pairing: nika muhl x teammate!reader

word count: 896

warnings: none !

summary: apparently azzi and nika are with their..."boyfriends"

⭑ from lani: i hate how i wrote this but i was inspired when i was rewatching this live (go to 12:00 for the part im talking abt)

masterlist !

YOU SCROLL AIMLESSLY on your phone with your back to the wall as your teammates chat with viewers on some tiktok live.

every now and then, you shift your focus to kk's phone that was propped up on ice's side table, replying to light-hearted comments and laughing along with the girls.

your attention, however, was divided as you waited for your girlfriend, nika, to text you back. she had gone on a post-dinner starbucks run to get cake pops for herself and caroline since they had apparently been craving them all day.

the brunette had just texted you saying they were on their way back to the dorms, to which you replied that they should hurry back since it was getting dark out.

while waiting for her response, you directed your focus back to the livestream in front of you, where kk and ice were talking about what they should do with their hair.

"how yall feel about me locing my hair?" kk asks the viewers.

"loc journey!" ice jokes with over-enthusiasm.

you all playfully side-eye the girl on the bed in a moment of silence before returning to answering questions in the chat.

you decide to continue scrolling on your phone, as none of the comments were interesting or appropriate enough to read out loud.

"'azzi and nika are with their boyfriends'" you hear kk read quietly, "prolly," she answers.

your ears practically perk up at the mention of your girlfriend. you register the sentence, the words "nika" and "boyfriend" put in the same statement sounding foreign.

you lift your head to gaze at kk after she goes out of frame to silently laugh at both you and paige, nika and azzi's "boyfriends."

you feel a smile slowly creep onto your face at the secret, as you look over at paige who is also trying to hide a similar grin.

she turns around to look at you with a knowing smirk, one that you shared once you caught her eye. the room is pretty much silent other than kk's breathy laughs before ice tries to switch the topic.

"where's yanna?" she asks with a laugh.

you all giggle at her poor attempt of a transition, all equally amused by whatever just happened. comments are now flooding in after the viewers analyzed the suspicious exchange between the group.

user1 yall saw that look on y/n and paiges face??

user2 "boyfriends" as if p and y/n arent right there 😭

user3 bfs my ass 💀

user4 u guys dont know anything, stop assuming!!

user5 theyre so painfully obvious omg

user6 the boyfriends in question:

"look what you did kk," you laugh quietly, referring to the flood of comments about you and paige acting weird.

"shut up, y/n," she defends jokingly.

"you-" your retaliation is cut off at the sound of the front door opening.

"we're back!" you hear a familiar voice yell.

realizing that it was, in fact, your girlfriend's voice, your head snaps to look into the living room, where nika was now sitting down on the couch with her godforsaken cake pop.

you smile brightly at the girl despite her not noticing your presence yet. not wanting to leave the live so abruptly (even though you practically wanted to sprint over to nika) you try to smoothly make your exit with a swift goodbye.

"okay, bye guys, i'm gonna go to sleep now, but i'll see y'all next time!" you say to the live with a peace sign.

after a chorus of "goodnights" from your teammates, you quickly make your way out of ice's bedroom and onto the couch to sit with your girlfriend.

"hi baby," you greet as you cuddle into her side.

"hi, love," nika giggles at the feeling of your kight kisses on her neck.

"i missed you," you mumble.

"i was only gone for like twenty minutes," she laughs.

"twenty minutes too many," you argue, leaning your head on her shoulder as she scrolls on her phone.

you both watch a few tiktoks, pointing out some funny videos and simply hanging out in the peaceful environment of the quiet living room.

all was fine until a video of the livestream you were just in pops up on nika's "for you page." it was a clip of the suggestive moment between you, paige, kk, and ice at the mention of azzi and nika.

your girlfriend allowed the video to play, her curious mind wanting to watch the interaction play out.

"was this tonight?" she asks, looking down at you.

"yeah.." you answer nervously.

"y'all are funny," she grins.

"you're not mad?"

"why would i be mad? you didn't confirm anything and the look on your face is hilarious, so..."

"i mean, they thought you were into guys, i had to laugh at that!" you defend playfully.

"shut up, y/n," she laughs, "oh i need to send this to azzi!"

"she'll probably kill paige, i'm not gonna lie," you point out.

"probably," nika agrees.

you two spent the rest of the night giggling at stupid memes and watching the most random videos, entangled in each other's arms.

you loved moments like these, when it was just you and her, simply existing together. you weren't doing some extravagant activity or focusing on keeping a huge secret from the in public. you were just...y/n and nika.

— leilani signing off ! 📁

[naomis-daydream]

aftercare with abby <3

summary: abby taking care of reader after an eventful evening together.

warnings: mentions of sex, descriptions of nudity. no outbreak/modern!au. short n sweet fluff <33

a/n: my first abby work ahhh. i love my big sexy gf!! pic cred: hyujies on pinterest

don’t stop talking about palestine

tlou2 is based on the israeli occupation of palestine. don’t not purchase tlou-related products. i don’t mind making silly little fics abt silly little pixels but if ur interacting with my posts, know that i am in full support of palestine and palestinians

✧

7:48pm.

abby glanced at the clock on her bedside table, reading the time quickly before turning her focus back to you. the setting sun painted the room in a beautiful orange hue, illuminating every corner. though the sunlight never looked more gorgeous than when it landed on you.

you were laid on your stomach, hands placed under your cheek as deep breaths escaped parted lips. and while the comforter was stretched over your hips, the skin of your back glowed, and abby swore she saw a sparkle dancing across your body. perhaps it was the sweat from the evening’s previous endeavors, or her eyes playing tricks on her, but then again her eyes always saw stars when it came to you.

you were absolutely ruined.

by the time she got done with you, your legs hardly had the energy to carry you to the bathroom. in fact the blonde had to do so herself.

“tired you out, huh pretty girl?” she’d tease, making you blush and bury your face in her neck as she carried you bridal style over the threshold and into the bathroom.

she carefully took a damp wash cloth to clean your inner thighs. “open up for me, baby.” the entire time you’re sleepily mumbling sweet nothings in her ear with a cheek on her shoulder.

“i love you so much abigail,” you’d whisper. to which she’d always reply, “i love you more.” no matter how much you tried to fight her on the subject, it was but a losing battle.

after getting cleaned up, you both had fallen asleep in each other’s arms, the soft beating of your girlfriend’s heart lulling you to sleep.

that was hours ago.

abby had woken up before you, rubbing her eyes and checking the time, seeing you both had been asleep for nearly two hours. usually, she’d wait for you to wake up so you’d decide together on what to eat. though, it was getting late, and most restaurants would be closing within the hour.

she could softly shake you awake or go grab something quick for the two of you, but if she’s learned anything in the past two years, it’s to never interrupt your beauty rest and don’t leave you alone while you’re asleep.

the taller girl ponders momentarily, though the growl of her stomach is what pushes her to climb out of bed, careful not to wake you.

she throws on a comfortable outfit, walking out the closet to give your forehead a quick kiss.

once she’s got to her car she sends a quick text in case you were to wake when she’s gone.

to my love: hey baby, just stepped out to grab dinner. be back soon ❤️

✧

[teddybeartoji]

dazai and soft touches. his fingers are like feathers on your skin, ever so lightly brushing over the apple of your cheek as you ramble about your day. he's staring at you with a lovesick smile (one that would surely make kunikida vomit his heart out)(he is happy that dazai has you now though)(he just wishes he didn't have to see it).

he traces your freckles and birthmarks before pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. you're trying really hard to not show him how much of an effect he has on you but it's hard – you keep stumbling over your words and he thinks you're absolutely adorable.

whenever you have a bad headache, he makes you lay down on his lap. he tells you to close your eyes with a whisper and you do. he drags his slender fingers across your nose, massaging the skin so, so gently. he puts just a tad more pressure into the strokes as he moves down from between your furrowed brows. it works. he can see and feel you relax into him, your fingers loosening their grip on the hem of his sweater.

he then focuses solely on your brows. he pushes up and over them, quite literally smoothing away the pain. he listens to your soft breaths, he observes the way the corner of your lips twitch every once in a while. he loves it when you melt into him, when you allow yourself to relax in his hold. he takes pride in being able to make you feel better with the simplest touches.

ok but if we're talking about pre-relationship dazai... he's just a little more reserved. he's holding back. a lot. moving through a crowd, he doesn't hold your hand – he just links your fingers, or maybe even just your pinkies. and it somehow feels even more intimate than actually holding hands. neither of you comment on it though. he's holding onto you so gently, the tug is almost non-existent and it just feels right.

saw a post abt him fidgeting a lot and i haven't stopped thinking about it. he does it with yout hand, too. you're just standing in a line, waiting to order a cup of coffee when you suddenly feel him taking your smaller hand into his. you don't ask, only merely eyeing him quietly. he hums to himself as he holds it; he compares the sizes but his face doesn't change, doesn't show whether he liked the difference or not. he traces the lines on your palm and tries to count them all. he isn't startled when you take a step forward as the line moves up, he just steps alongside you without ever raising his eyes. you let him do his thing.

i also think he likes to twirl a strand of your hair between his fingers a lot. he seems to be doing this very mindlessly aswell. seems. he literally never says anything about it, he just does it.

ALSO!! seemingly random and accidental touches!!!! he hands you a cup of coffee and his fingers brush over yours, he swipes an eyelash from your cheek with a smile, he boops your nose as he teases you. and whenever he passes by you, his hands linger on your waist or on your lower back. he acts like all of these are not intentional, that they just happened but he knows exactly what he's doing. he's just a little touch starved, okay?? but he doesn't really know how to voice it yet:((((((((

[pedal-writes]

Lloyd garmadon hcs (romantic & reg hcs)

A/N: This is first post on here 😭 I’m super into ninjago right now so I might as well write abt it. And Lloyd is super pookie bear 🫶

Romantic:

-When you guys first start dating, Lloyd is a bit awkward since A. He’s never been in a legitimate relationship before and B. He has insane trauma from Harumi.

-But over time, he’ll start to warm up to you! You just gotta be patient with him.

-Loves to read comics with you, it’s such a guilty pleasure (and he’s a big nerd.)

-When he’s with you, he’s always holding your hand or resting his hand on your lower back. He’s protective in a casual way rather than a possessive way, yk?

-Very prone to venting to you.

-Every once in awhile, he takes you out in ninjago city for a date on a rooftop of a building. It’s not the best place for a date but he’s not much of a romantic. But he does try for you!

-Always takes care of you when you’re sick. He makes soup and tea for you, and sits by your side, holding your hand while talking about whatever.

-He’s such a cuddle bug!! He loves laying on your chest while you tangle your fingers in his hair. And vice versa.

-Loves to kiss you on your face, esp your cheek and your nose. Seeing your face get all blushy after he surprises you with a kiss really makes him happy.

-Feels a little self conscious around you about certain things, like his dad, his oni form, or the idea of being a master since those things bother him deeply. But a little reassurance and kind words from you will help his self esteem a ton.

-He likes it when you braid his hair or play with it in any way.

-If you’re up to it, lloyd loves training with you. He’ll go easy on you considering he doesn’t want to hurt you, but if he does he feels so bad 😭

-When you two are together, Kai will do EVERYTHING in his willpower to embarrass Lloyd for funsies.

-One time, he totally showed you a picture of when Lloyd was little and he had that atrocious bowl cut. Let’s just say Kai was locked out of the monastery for a good 3 days 😁

-Doesn’t use many nicknames but does like to use a shortened ver of your name, to keep it simple. But he doesn’t mind calling you “gorgeous” or “beautiful” once in awhile, since to him you definitely are.

-Misako and Wu would definitely love you immediately after Lloyd introduces you (more so misako), no questions asked.

-Garmadon though? It depends. If you get to know him a bit better, then he’ll probably warm up to you. He’s just a bit weary because of his trust issues.

-Kinda same with the Ninja honestly, but they’ll warm up to you super quick when they see how you treat lloyd and how happy you make him. They just want the best for him is all.

General:

-Lloyd really values his hair, like a ton. He takes super good care of it. And I really like to think after the events of crystalized, he started to actually grow his hair out.

-And by the time of dragons rising, his hair is all the way down to his lower back (he puts it in a low ponytail most of the time for combat reasons.)

-He’s both Japanese and Chinese!

-Demiromantic/sexual and omnisexual!!

-Looked up to Nya as a mother figure when he was little, and still does. He loves misako so very much, but resents her deep down.

-Has a little stubble in DR, kinda canon but whatevs.

-Has a pretty good singing voice, but only really does it in private.

-Outside of his Gi, the clothes he usually wears is just a jacket, a t-shirt and jeans 😭 he has like 15 jackets in his closet (he’s just like me fr)

-Has scars like all over his body, and some on his face from like the millions of battles he’s been in.

-He’s a little chubby, but has pretty muscular arms (🤭)

-Lloyd has like small non-human features that nod to the fact that he’s half oni and dragon.

-Like pointy ears, sharp teeth, and slitted pupils.

-Still has an adoration for candy.

-Every once in awhile, he still heads to Ninjago Doomsday Comix to buy a new issue of a comic he likes.

-He would probably enjoy music like Radiohead or some other sad stereotypical man music.

A/N: I can’t think of much else but I hope you guys enjoyed these!! I’ll write at my own pace for a little bit and then I’ll open requests. I gotta make a carrd sometime soon lmfao 😭

( @weirdotaku1000 these are the hcs I was working on!!)

[kamii-2]

hii so as yk i wanted to make an requesttt. i wanna know if you can do ice brady hc (maybe a lil spicy iykyk)

i chose ice brady because i honestly because she’s literally so underrated i see no fics abt her and i feel like i need some(desperately)

its ok if u cant do it know js take ur time mll💋💋

love u smm have a amazing day ❤️❤️

hi lovelyyy, i love this request and i agree, ice is super underrated (she’s so fine omfg)

warning(s): cussing, smut

genre: fluff & smut

pairing(s): ice brady x reader

==================================

always making dirty jokes

like that one live where kk, paige, snd ice were talking about height and kk says that her and nika were face to face and ice goes “mouth to mouth.” 😭😭

big and little spoon, depends on the day

you guys barely ever get into arguments so when you do it’s bad

shes the type to say stuff that purposely makes you mad

a bully 😭

definitely scream sings dirty songs ALL THE TIME

like she will be in the kitchen and youll be in the bedroom and all you hear is her screaming the lyrics to all i need by lloyd

calls you names all the time

“okay little ugly.” “you tell me the opposite every day.”

records you eating and posts it with the big back audio

now every time you eat you hide from her 💀

lowkey (highkey) slow as hell

loves to facetime you when you can’t come over and play roblox

falls asleep on the phone every time you guys call

LOVES taking showers with you (in cute ways and in dirty ways)

dramatic as fuck

my blurb about ice being sick is a great example of her being dramatic 😭😭

tells you that she loves you before bed every night

loves kisses and hugs

“one more kiss?” “i just gave you like 4.” “well it’s an uneven number so-“

kk and paige are always with you guys

they’ll all come to your dorm, go to your room, then go live 😭

ice is the type of person to say “do you wanna fight” every chance she gets

“no.” “do you wanna fight?” “let’s go then.” and you stand up and she starts screaming before your even do anything

takes absolutely nothing seriously

sends you tiktoks all day long

you guys make tiktoks together all the time

lazy and only does stuff if you give her things in return

“can you do the dishes?” “not unless i get something in return.” “like what?” “head.” “ice.”

posts you on her instagram story all the time

smut hcs

i don’t see her degrading you in bed, like making fun of you as a joke yea but never calling you a slut

she loves giving praises

telling you how good you’re doing and stuff like that

absolute clown

if you wear glasses and they fall off while you guys are fucking she will play around and put them on

same thing goes for lashes 😭 like if they fall off she jsut puts them on your body some where

and if you wear wigs and it comes off, guess what … she wears it

ice is definitely a switch

shower sex is 😩

she doesn’t really care for toys

you guys have a strap and vibrator but use them every once and a while

loves edging you and getting edged

def has a sex playlist

dirtiest of dirty talkers

like nobody has talked to you the way she does

takes pictures of you guys fucking and has an album in her phone full of them

fucking everywhere but the bedroom

car, bathroom, restaurant, anywhere

ice is always horny 😭 especially at night

sends dirty messages all day long

she also sends those red thoughts tiktok videos (pls tell me yk what im talking about)

she loves when you eat her out

her moans are actually angelic

thinks scissoring is too much work so she never does it 😭😭

when she uses the strap she doesn’t hold back

tells you have much she loves you as she fucks you

loves to make you squirt

==================================

i hope you enjoyed, anyway i hope you have a good day/night, love you 💋💋

[vmbrq]

okay so I was reading your post answering abt ethan being tied up and blindfolded and HOLY. SHIT. 👀

but honestly I wanna see more of dom ethan. don’t get me wrong I love sub ethan but I feel like a guy like him would absolutely DESTROY (im being dramatic LMAO) you. like this boy is strong asf and he would definitely use that to his advantage!!!

in person he would be sweet, chill and shy. probably stuttering around you and blushing H.E.A.V.I.L.Y. but once he got you alone…

he’d pin you down to the bed and whisper things into your ear, knowing the power he has over you.

i also feel like ethan COULD be into kink. idk it’s just a feeling I have abt him…

ONE MORE THING

his arms. HIS ARMS. HIS ARMS ARE SO STRONG FOR WHAT? A dork like him has arms like that?!?!?!? man. i ain’t never wanted a guy so badly in my life…😭

I’m so embarrassed. 😭😭😭

literally don't be embarrassed because you and i are in the same boat LMAOO and there's just smth so interesting about exploring the potentials of both sides of his personality. bc the way he yanked anika up off the floor and onto her feet with one arm? oh my god????? he's so strong????

in public and in non-sexual situations, he's all about forehead kisses and linking pinkies and flushes pink and laughs when you compliment him bc he doesn't quite know how to react yet. but i am also frothing at the MOUTH at the thought of him flipping the script in private LIKE???? HELLO????

it may have taken him a while, but he'd already be aware of how your brain just kinda melts whenever he shows off his physique in any way, such as lifting heavy objects from your hands to carry them instead, carrying you whenever you're too tired to move or your feet hurt too badly to walk, or even when he idly rubs his hand over his opposite bicep when he's lost in thought or stretches his arms above his head.

mentions of smut under cut ; minors dni

so when he finds out that it extends to the bedroom, he doesn't shy away from utilizing it every now and then. his physical prowess makes an appearance whenever you're burnt out or completely drained but still needing a release, the muscles in his shoulders and back flexing as he pins your body down or keeps your thighs pried apart so you can't escape the pleasure he gives you. all you have to do is let yourself go and give yourself over to him, and he'll make sure all you can do is lay there and take it.

but aside from that, tbh he would also do it just because he can. you honestly don't stand a chance against him in a competition of strength, but he thinks it's cute if you still try to squirm or push back against his grip to try to overpower him. he's heavy, pressing you right where he wants you, and you can't do anything about it. the little power trip emboldens him, and whether you've freely relinquished control or are still attempting to resist, he's talking. he rambles right in your ear, commenting on how well you're taking him and how pretty you look under him and how you want it so badly, he couldn't pull out even if he wanted to.

[damagedcoda6669]

how did youknow youbhad bpd? what were the main "symptoms" ?? soryif it comes off as personal or uncomfy you dont hsveto answer

(im rlly rlly rlly autistic abt bpd PREPARE 4 AN ENTIRE BIBLE ABT HOW I DISCOVERED I HAD IT)

ive exhibited symptoms of bpd my entire life (it usually starts 2 present in childhood or early adulthood, it comes from childhood abuse/neglect) i only started 2 notice something was wrong in my tweens/early teens, when malachi became my favorite person and every1 was calling me mentally ill and weird and obsessive. ive known my entire life i was neurodivergent (first started therapy at 6 or 7, diagnosed with bipolar + autism + adhd + depression + anxiety RLLY early on) but there was something else that felt wrong 2 me. at that age i didnt rlly know what 2 search 4 or who 2 talk 2, so i just went on google and searched "love disorders" and obsessive love disorder came up (which isnt even in the DSM iirc) and i posted on google plus saying i likely had that and was shot down IMMEDIATELY 4 "self diagnosing" so i didnt revisit it again until a few years later.

after my breakup in 2021 i felt like it hurt WAY MORE than was normal. i stumbled across a video abt bpd during that time period and it resonated with me way 2 much. im impulsive, i have angry outbursts, im constantly suicidal, i self harm, i have extreme mood swings, i dont know who i am and ive always just mirrored other ppl, i dissociate, i have black and white thinking, i view ppl as all good or all bad and i split, i have consistently unstable relationships, i get attached 2 ppl more than i should be, and i have a paralyzing, nauseating fear of abandonment. i have every symptom in the diagnostic criteria.

i brought up the possibility of me having bpd with my mom i think (i had no one else 2 go 2 becuz all of my friends abandoned me and my parents took away my internet access) and i was shot down again, with my mom saying the CLASSIC "(insert family member) has bpd and shes crazy. ur normal. stop pretending theres something wrong with u. if u had bpd u'd be vindictive and petty and evil. do u think ur those things?"

once i figured out how 2 get my internet access back, maryland dude forced the bpd label on2 me becuz he wanted 2 explain my "abusive" behaviors (he was abusing me but tried 2 gaslight me in2 thinking i had a victim complex and that it was the other way around) and i became uncomfortable with the label becuz he made it seem like if i had bpd then i was a bad person. i continued researching the disorder becuz it still resonated with me even though i was now insecure abt it.

i became comfortable with the label again after he abandoned me, and i brought it up with my therapist. my therapist would HEAVILY DENY that i had bpd, telling me that "if u had bpd u would be attempting suicide 4 attention" "u fit the diagnostic criteria but ur autistic so all of ur symptoms can just be attributed 2 autism srry" "ive had clients with bpd and if u were like them u wouldve had an outburst in my office and be yelling at me by now" and she would even smile at me whenever i brought up my bpd becuz she thought it was funny that i thought i had it, i think. the first time i brought it up with her she told me "its rlly irresponsible 2 self diagnose after reading liek two articles online abt some extreme disorder becuz u think ur broken. ur not broken. dont self diagnose with bpd" and i had to EXPLAIN 2 HER that i wasnt self diagnosing and that id researched it in depth 4 years actually and that she was making assumptions. horribly ableist towards ppl with cluster b disorders, this is a MASSIVE RED FLAG but i didnt switch therapists becuz i was still living with my parents at this point and i felt out of control in every aspect of my life 4 this reason, i didnt even see switching therapists as an option.

then in 2023, while i was homeless, i got evaulated by a psychiatrist. i discussed my bpd with him and finally got diagnosed. i told my therapist i was diagnosed with bpd and she said something like "well im not always gonna be able 2 catch everything" BUT I WAS TELLING U ABT MY BPD 4 MONTHS!!!!! so glad i dont have that therapist anymore but now i dont have one at all, so liek.. hrmmm >:c

im gonna end this by saying.. self diagnosis is valid!!! its so hard 2 get a bpd diagnosis becuz its so demonized and stigmatized, that even those in the mental health system r ableist towards the disorder and those who have it. diagnosis is not always an option with disorders like bpd, and thats so frustrating. its so hard 2 find help becuz every1 thinks ur crazy. but ur not crazy!!! i love all my fellow bpders, i know how agonizing and it is 2 live this tormented life. if u suspect u have bpd, the bpd community welcomes u and supports u!!! and i do 2 :3

[leeneir]

Missions; Iso x GN!Reader Headcanons-Drabble

Ok so funny story, I was planning on posting a fic actually but my dumbass wrote it on tumblr and didnt save itand my phone died and i lost 90% of my progress so heres a drabble/headcanons I have abt missions with Iso

Not proofread, tbh none of my posts are💀

On your first mission together which also happened to be Iso's very first so he was still lesrning the ropes, you'd be the one aside from a senior member on your team to help guide him.

You two are stationed together on one site and he keeps making comments and asking questions about a lot of things to the point where you wonder if this really was the feared 'Dead Lilac', it was difficult to imagine when he was acting like he's seeing the sky for the firsy time.

But then the first bullet whizzes past, and Iso does a complete 180. He's no longer talking or making remarks, instead, he emits a purple aura, his eyes glowing, filled with concentration and determination, ready to take on the enemy. It was kinda hot in your opinion.

You may have been an agent longer than him, but he definitely has more experience. Iso saved you from getting shot dozens of times, throwing himself infront of you and coming out of it unscathed because he had his shield up.

The mission is a success via team elimination, you secure the spike and everyone goes home. Iso, however, is blanked out and isn't paying attention to anything around him. It's as if he's a mindless machine. You decide to sit down with him on the V/LTR and offer him a snack, he instantly snaps out of it and takes the snack grstefully.

You aren't assigned on another mission together for a while, and during that time, you hear stories about how much of a monster he is on the field from the others. You bring that up to him to compliment, but he's bashful about it.

You note how he isn't bashful about his skills when the others compliment him, and you wonder why you keep catching him looking at you. Every time you do, you notice how the tips of his ears are a tinge bit red.

The day comes when you two are assigned together, and it just so happens you two are put on a site together again. While you're setting up, he comes up to you, sheepishly asking what the plan was because... he forgot to read the mission brief...

You wonder how tf he forgot to read the brief when it was one of the most important things and explain it to him anyway. Though, he looked like he wasn't really paying attention, he was just staring at you with a look you've never seen before.

The enemy rush in on the opposite site and you two rotate over, watching each other's 6 oclock. You lead through while Iso is behind you, following closely with his focus unmatched.

The spike is planted, you guys get the picks. The rest of the team is down, leaving it up to you and him. Iso gets most of them, there's only one enemy left.

Iso doesn't realize it, but someone is aiming for him. You see it, and you push him out of the way as you shoot the last guy. Unfortunately, they also shot a bullet which grazed your side, leaving a deep gash.

He's panicking, how the hell did he let this happen? He can see the blood seeping through your clothing and he almost forgets everything. You yell at him to defuse the spike which manages to snap him out of it as you apply pressure to the wound.

Once the spike is defused, Iso immediately runs back to you, the precision and focus he has as a master assassin is half way out the window as he's performing first aid on you. He's apologizing over and over again for not being careful, while at the same time scolding you for taking the bullet. HE'S the bulletproof one here, not you.

Iso calls for backup and updates HQ about the mission status before turning his attentioned back to you. He's still upset about your injury, and scolds you again.

You make up some sort of excuse, having realized the reason why you did what you did. Iso continues to get upset over it and is asking you why you would do that.

You got really annoyed by his scolding and you tell him to shut up before grabbing his collar and pulling him in for a kiss.

[analoceits]

do you have any more complicated polycule headcanons for sanders sides? seeing your post filled me with a sense of This Person Is Correct and now I want to pick your brain for more

oh fuck YEAH

post asker is talking abt here

prinxiety used to have a LOT of tension between them. everyone else thought they were OBVIOUSLY crushing and eventually convinced them to date. this lasted a week and went So Horribly it is never spoken of. virgil and roman have resolved to just make out when they feel like it and that deals with the tension.

logan tried to graph out the individual relationships in the polycule exactly Once, because they wanted to explain things to remy. the project kept logan awake for three days and she had to be physically dragged to bed.

moceit are the only two in the polycule to have ever actually been married. mind you, this was all an elaborate scheme by janus to get them married bc he was SO PISSED at patton from their last argument he NEEDED to divorce him. they have tried to get remarried, but logan ABSOLUTELY REFUSES to do all that fucking paperwork again.

logince is the only relationship in the polycule to have never broken up, to everyones BAFFLEMENT bc they get into explosive arguments on the regular. turns out, when they got together, they both agreed that whoever initiates a break-up "loses the relationship" and after everyone found that out it makes Complete Sense.

logan ALSO has their own boyfriend leaderboard, BUT hers is private and she never tells anyone the rankings. they only announce if she has changed the rankings. (janus has figured out that virgil is at the top permanently bc logan NEVER announces a change in rankings after virgil has done something.)

analogical broke up exactly One time. no one remembers why BUT everyone remembers that virgil and logan were both so fully DEVASTATED that everyone worked together to get them to start dating again. janus stopped trying to break up analogical after this.

anxceit dated pre-polycule but took a While to get back together once the polycule started. everyone predicted this would happen, to virgil and janus's annoyance. whenever anxceit did start dating again they both immediately agreed they could NEVER tell anyone else bc they would NEVER hear the end of it. this lasted a week, before they threatened to break up which each other in a public argument.

loceit is not dating, despite the fact they are obviously in love with each other and actively flirting. this is because logan is waiting for janus to confess, and virgil has promised janus he will Literally Kill Him if he gets with logan BEFORE managing to stay with patton for six months straight without a break up to prove that he can be a Mildly Functional Partner. this will never happen.

every single time moceit breaks up, no matter WHAT the reason, no matter HOW AMICABLE, virgil and janus get into a physical fight. after a while everyone realized they both just like the adrenaline rush of fighting and they use the break up as an excuse, so they just leave them to it.

[whyoneartheven]

What head canons do you have for the LU boys? (Yes, this is a request for you to ramble about them)

aaaahhh hello! Thanks for asking, but wow, goodness me

this will take some thinking XD

umm

ok a lot of these are a lil generic or just other people’s ideas I kinda adopted but here goes!

also I didn’t expect it when I started but this got long…

for Legend, I really like the idea of him drinking tea and still having an apple orchard. And also having honey bees! (These aren’t mine originally lol) Also I feel like post LU (this ofc may change depending on the ending) he fell into depression a little bit before digging himself out with Ravio and Zelda’s help… he cut his hair during this time. idk I just feel like that would happen. I like the idea of him having a good singing voice. (merperson stuff but also even beforehand. He definitely sang lovely duets with Marin once she taught him how) Also I feel like he’s one of those people that’s always cold! So he secretly likes to cuddle :)

with Wild, I feel like… he definitely doesn’t use recipes! This is based off how I am in his game and irl, as I just throw things together and never go back to see how I made things before, but also I feel like it just fits his personality! I think it would be hilarious if he named his horses at first after anything that had an impact on him so like, one horse is named Zelda and another is Stir Fry. Or smth XDDD Also based on my experiences in game (to an extent), I feel like he doesn’t actually care about legitimately looking fashionable… it’s more that he likes wearing things that looks crazy XD

on to Hyrule! Ok this isn’t as much a headcanon as a ship but I really ship him and Aurora; I feel like they’d be absolutely adorable together but he’s really private about it! I like to think Hyrule can sew? And I think he’d love to run around barefoot on fresh grass! And just, be in love with nature in general! And maybe he doesn’t have an eye for color; he can’t tell if colors clash or actually match. Also is it just me or does he feel like out of the entire chain he could easily be a Studio Ghibli protagonist? Just me? Idk lol

Time! I like the idea of Time and Malon having a running joke that the other is color blind, and the chain eventually picks it up! And then Time keeps mistaking one color for another (on purpose or not? We’ll never know), and every time the others go wild XD (this may or may not be based on a joke my parents have irl hehe). When Time first met Malon he was very very lactose intolerant. And drank it anyway, of course! also I feel like Time really likes flowers? Idk why! And finally, if Time was in the modern world he’d be the guy who’d be eating food months to years past the expiration date…

Four, my beloved! Umm this is kinda a design idea more than anything but I like the idea of him growing his hair out and wearing it in a ponytail post LU! (provided he doesn’t die…) I don’t think of him as having voices in his head or being a system but I still like the idea of him talking to himself sometimes XD! Also this is just something canon I don’t see talked abt a lot but I love he and Twi’s relationship sm! Four totally has RBF and definitely stares at people accidentally when he’s thinking… also I saw a crack fic somewhere where Four was already married to Dot and had children and the chain were shocked; it was hilarious, and while I don’t think he would actually have kids yet, I think it’d be hilarious if he and his Zelda are already quite far along in their relationship (as I ship them lol)

the man, the myth, the legend, WIND, is next! This man has Opinions. I feel like he’s the kind of person so have opinions on things he’s only heard of two seconds before, like automatically deciding he will like a food or deciding the other way round. (And yeahhhh I’m basing him on my brother lol) I’m definitely not the one to come up with this but Wind is probably the one with the best (and most opinionated) fashion sense (most of the others are just hopeless in varying degrees so it isn’t hard)! Maybe older him bonded with young Wars in the War of Eras over this (bc I love the idea of older wind being there), Idk XD! Also he definitely braids Aryll’s hair and is generally very responsible (I mean he’s a big brother he’s gotta be XD); he starts off almost treating LU as a bit of a vacation! Nothing will go wrong, his family is safe, and he gets new friends :D

Warriors, the wonderful man, is next! I feel like he’s very nostalgic and a little sappy. Like, just in general. He likes to look back on his happy memories! Also (once again not my idea) but I like the idea of Warriors growing up either orphaned or really poor, and living in the less palatable portion of Castle Town. (Therefore he played pickup soccer as a kid; he just feels like he would lol) I definitely ship him and his Zelda (ok tbh I ship ALL the Links with their Zeldas lol). I feel like at the point of LU they’ve talked abt it but Warriors isn’t ready (thanks to Cia and maybe just all the barriers in his mind about being inferior to her or smth) Also, give this man the craziest accent you can find and I am here for it; whoever first came up with that is a genius. Ok yeah you can probably tell I love Warriors angst

XD Sky!!! My bestieeee!! If Sky was in modern times he’d be one of those people who gets sleepy when they drink coffee, fs! He is definitely the artistic one, and maybe during LU he discovers a bunch of mediums besides woodworking that he loves (and maybe he makes a bunch of art for Sun, who knows!) This next one is based off @margindoodles2407’s Forger from her loz AU but the idea that his parents died in a house fire and he lived with Gaepora and Zelda until he was older is so cool to me! And bc of this I feel like he’d really hate being around fire (to the point of panic attacks? Maybe, maybe not). Finally, hopeless bird lover Sky is a beautiful thing. As a bird watcher myself, I cannot blame him.

Last but not least is Twilight!! This guy totally holds conversations with animals all the time and it freaks people out (they can never tell if he actually understands them)! Twi definitely has a lot of respect for kids too and talks to them like they’re adults (by using the same vocabulary and tone, not by talking about things that aren’t good for kids to hear XD) and I feel like he would write painfully cheesy love poems? Twi definitely can’t cook but I feel l Ike he also cares the most about food? Idk? ALSO LET THIS MAN QUILT. IDK I THINK HE’D BE TERRIBLE AT IT BUT STILL TRY AND IT WOULD BE FUNNY

ok, and that’s it!!! Wow, that was a lot…

and I could definitely come up with more lol