#every morning im like here we go again or im like ok today i feel try not to be honest and complain bc no one wants to hear it

[roses-and-elixir]

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[charlesf1leclerc]

Summary- one day your whole world turns upside down and where will your lives go from here 

Warnings: childbirth, teen pregnancy 

A/N- this is inspired by the stab series bump. Not exactly the same but wanted to give a nod to my inspiration. Also I’m so inspired right now ahh!

Today started as a regular school day, I woke up , placed my uniform on , packed my lunch and left. Another day , final year, then I'm free , no more highschool. I worked hard, I got good grades , I had a small group of friends , my life is organized , put together and I know where I'm going. 

I walked down the sidewalk, down my usual route. Today we had an oral presentation. 25% of our final grade , I knew my points were thought out , I was prepared , I got this, I had no nerves. A cramping sensation fills my stomach again. This had been happening since I woke up sporadically, it would come and go for a few seconds but now they were getting further apart and more painful. I warped my hands around my lower body, the pain went away and I kept walking. Upon entering the gates , my ears were filled with the noise of highschool students like every morning. Girls gossiping, boys …. Being boys. The pain had gotten slightly worse on my way over , but again came and went. 

An arm wrapped around my shoulder. 

“ Morning girl” Madison enthused

“ Morning” 

“ Stop being so uptight you are going to smash this “ She nudged me 

“ I’m not , I just don’t feel well ok “ I shrugged back 

“ don’t tell me your nervous “ Mad’s smirked

“ no of course not” I shot back 

Maybe it was nerves, but I never get nervous , something was up. 

As I walked further to my locker the pain came back, it was like hell. I felt like I was going to die. This was not normal. The pain hit me so hard, I began to feel dizzy and then something built up in my throat. 

My locker door slammed closed and I ran to the nearest bathroom leaving Maddie and my locker very confused. 

Upon reaching the girls bathroom I ran into the nearest stall and slammed the door closed, kneeling down by the bowl and pouring out the vomit that rose from my throat. Something was wrong. The pain was intense, the vomit. This was not nerves.  

“ Y/N!” Madison yelled, hearing her footsteps come into the bathroom. 

I didn't reply. Vomiting again

“ I’m really worried, are you ok? “ 

I couldn’t reply so I left her un answered

“ I’m going to get someone!” 

That was best , I ‘m scared , this feels like death , something was not ok. 

Within moments a teacher had also entered the bathroom. Crawling under the bathroom stall door to get to me and seeing my state. 

Paramedics were called and before I knew it I was whisked away into the back of a ambulance, displayed to the whole school, I would be embarrassed later but right now I couldn’t take on anymore. 

Sweat dripped from my forehead and the pain was unbearable as we drove down the road. 

The paramedics tended to me , feeling my stomach, attached to wires. 

“ Ok y/n your baby is coming now im going to need you to push” He spoke 

Baby? Baby! BABY!

I was not pregnant. This was a mistake, people know when they are pregnant , I did and don’t know that I am pregnant , well was in a few moments time if a baby comes out. 

“ No I'm , I'm not having a baby!” 

“ I assure you , you are.. Did you not know?” he inquired 

“NO!” 

Did this seem like a person who knew they were having a baby, I don’t even look pregnant how can  a baby fit in there. 

“ you’re going to have to push anyway don’t focus on anything else” 

The pain was unbearable. He cut at the bottom of my skirt , to allow access and I pushed. I didn’t think I just did. 

Hours later 

“ A baby” my mum spoke from beside my bed in the hospital looking at the tiny creature next to me. “ Why didn’t you tell me y/n/n”

“ I didn’t know” I spoke emotionless

She sighed and looked away towards the door as the nurse walked in. 

‘ Everything looks good on both of your charts” she spoke chipley. “ Y/n there is some counseling we recommend to women who had a cryptic pregnancy, and to people of your age” 

I rolled my eyes and my mum took the paper. 

“ Thank you” my mum spoke up and the nurse left the room 

“ I don't want it” I looked to my mum

“ counseling would be good sweetie” 

“ No i don’t want the baby” 

My mum sighed “ Babies can be wonderful she may teach you some things, and shouldn’t this be a conversation we have with the father and his family first” 

“ I can’t raise a baby, I won’t “ 

And i didnt even want to start on the father talk I couldn’t think about that 

“ Who is the father? “ my mum asked

“ I don’t know” i bluntly replied

She wasn’t convinced but let me be for now. 

It later came that adoption can not happen until 30 days after the birth as the mother is not in a state to decide properly. 

“ 30 days , we have to take her home for 30 days!” I squeaked

“You can last sweetie get time to bond to see if this is what you really want” She smiled looking at the baby again, easy for her to say. I’m 17 and I can't raise a baby. 

How did I get here….

Dad Pov

It was just another day at school. My life was boring, karting, school back home with my siblings, dad and stepmom and repeat. At school I had it all but in life I had nothing. I wasn’t sure about where I was going to go after school, I didn’t even really want to continue school. 

It was currently later in the afternoon. I was sitting on the bench at lunch time as I waited for the others to join me. 

Lost in my thoughts. Leo came over and slammed himself down on the top of the table next to me snapping me out of my head.

“Sup,dude” we fist bumped my head still remaining straight ahead.

“You hear about that y/n girl?” He asked looking at me.

Y/n the one person I was not into talking about today. I had seen her being taken away in an ambulance today but had not yet heard what really went down.

“ yeah , crazy “ I mumbled 

“ yeah apparently she had a baby” 

What everything faded had I just heard him right

“ what?” I snapped to look at him

“ yeah  she hid it pretty well , she didn’t even know apparently” he nodded placing his food in his mouth.

She didn’t even look pregnant, how could she not of known. 

“ Wonder who the father is? You think it’s someone from here?” He intriguingly asked

I was just as curious, my hands began to sweat, surely one night could not have caused all this. It can’t be me!

A/N- ahhhh stay tuned and also vote on who you want the father to be 😉

[banquetwriter]

Please do a part 2 to the Johnnie fix u just posted !

୨୧ Cinnamon pt:2 ୨୧

pairing: Johnnie Guilbert ♡︎ Reader

warnings: ୭̥⋆*｡

summary: ʚ A part two to cinnamon ɞ

Words: 1034

An: this was in reference to: cinnamon go check it out since this is part two! This turned out so bad I'm so sorry. I never wanted to make a part two to this so I'm a lil upset lol

SUPPORT ME

It was the day after the party, you weren't too hungover by any means, just a little sick feeling in the morning but that had passed hours ago. You had also left the party early deciding it wasn't fair to torture yourself with Johnnie all night long.

You were taking a slow sip of your drink and scrolling around Pinterest when an Instagram DM from Johnnie popped up on your phone. Your eyebrow shot up tapping the notification.

J: ‘Hey, you left that party quickly last night. Sure you're doing ok?’

You smiled briefly at his message. You set your drink down while sitting up to reply.

‘Haha yeah I’m all good just got a little overwhelmed that's all :)’

You sent your message and decided to put your phone down. You didn't want to wait around for his reply, that was only going to cause you to get even more attached to someone who didn't like you. You turned the TV on and put on one of your favorite shows.

You say most of an episode is for caving and checking for a text back. Sure enough, that was a notification from the world's favorite emo boy. You tap on it unlocking your phone.

J: ‘oh ok. I'm always here if you need to talk or anything like that. Can I ask what made you so overwhelmed?’ he asked. You felt that familiar heartbeat increase as you re-read his message over and over again.

‘It was just someone I didn't wanna be around for that long. It wasn't in a bad way, I just needed a break from someone.’ you replied. You Weren't sure why you couldn't just lie to him but you couldn't.

You hoped he would take your words and leave you be, but as fate would have it… he doesn't. J: ‘Was it me?’ he asks. You're not sure how to respond, you suppose it would be time to talk this out as the opportunity presented itself.

‘We can talk sometime in person, ok? Are you free at all this week?’ you sent back, anxiety creeping its way through your whole body in waves. This wasn't right. We shouldn't meet.

Was there a possibility that Johnnie actually liked you? No. Right? You Weren't sure at this point. People who like someone check in on them. Maybe he DID like you just not how you want him to.

Your heart nearly exploded when you heard another text go through. J: ‘Im free today’ your heart was pounding so fast. Would you even have the courage to meet today in the first place.

It's better to get the bandage ripped off sooner than later. ‘Works for me lets get dinner?’ you sent the message feeling like you were going to vomit. You wanted to get all ready for him, look your best.

But you knew you shouldn't do that. He needed this from you at your most true self. Sweatpants and all. He agreed and you both arranged plans to meet in only four hours.

Four hours is a lot of time to wait for something but it felt even longer as you checked the clock every five minutes to see if it was time or not. But after all your waiting it was finally time to leave.

You pulled up to this place and Johnnie was already standing outside. You both shuffle around each other awkwardly for a moment before you tell him to sit down. You choose a spot outside and sit down.

The wind blows on both of you as it chills you to the bone. “So I did leave because of you but, that sounds so scary and mean.” you start. He just stared at you for a moment “ok.” was all he said, his voice wavering.

“It's because I really like you. And I know this sounds immature and silly but when you didn't talk to me at the party I felt so alone. I thought you might have liked me too and I don't know. I just needed to leave after you gave me water.” you confessed to him.

It all felt so silly now. Leaving a party because a boy didn't like you. He doesn't say anything and again your instinct is to just run, as fast and as far as you can. Johnnie doesn't let that happen this time.

As soon as you stand up his arm reaches out for you. You stop at his contact. “Y/n I definitely like you, don't worry,” he said as you slowly sat back down. You hold his eyes before eventually feeling the feeling of shame creep back in.

“Sorry,” you mumble slowly. “I thought you left because I made you uncomfortable or something,” he said, the wind blowing again. Your heart was soaring at his words. “No, I was just high and overwhelmed,” you said looking down at his hand that was still holding your arm.

“Oh right. Well, I definitely like you, I don't talk to people I don't like this much,” he said, causing both of you to giggle slightly. “I'm sorry for the way I reacted. I just got so scared,” you said through a pitiful laugh.

“It's ok we all get scared of something. I just can't ever imagine someone like you liking someone like me,” he said rubbing the back of his neck. “What do you mean? You're so fucking funny and nice Johnnie of course I like you,” you say with a smile.

“Thanks but I don't believe you. It's just that you're so funny, smart, and… pretty. I don't know how I can compare.” he said looking down. “Johnnie, that's how I feel about you,” you said leaning towards him.

“We should hang out sometime,” he said, unfortunately removing his hand from your arm to fix his hair. “We’re hanging out right now,” you said, tilting your head slightly. “No, I mean like on a date?” he says looking up at you through his hair. “You wanna take me on a date?” you whisper leaning further towards him.

“Y-yes we should go on a date,” he said again, adjusting his hair. “Ok let's go on a date then.”

“OK?”

“Ok.”

[sinteez]

seonghwa x reader

seonghwa  x reader 

Merman x hunter

In a world full of mystical creatures humans and creatures used to live in harmony that was until a creature turned his back on them making them now rivals. You have been raised by your father as unfortunately a creature had killed your mother making you and your father despise the creatures so it turned you into what you are today.HUNTERS.

Today was an fun day for you as every weekend you are always out with your father and you very much enjoyed it because it was the only time he would stop talking about mystical creatures. Yes you hated them but every now and then it got annoying hearing the same things repeated over and over again. However you did enjoy the fishing lake but not as much as the beach… the fishing lake was very deep and there was a tunnel leading to the sea so youve always wondered what things could be living there.

As soon as you got to the lake cabin your father owned you you smiled getting out of the car and started walking towards your room “ hey y/n are you not going to come for lunch with your old father?” your father spoke to you practically pouting making you laugh at him “yesfather ill just get dressed and ill go get lunch with you” you answered back making your dad have a huge smile on his face. You walked upstairs and immediately put your bagon the floor next to your bed and sighed “ill come back for you later my friend” you spoke to your bed wanting nothing more than to just fall asleep from the long car ride. Once you got changed you headed downstairs to your father taping his shoulder making him turn around and smile at you “oh my dear you look beautiful” your father spoke out making you smile from ear to ear and thanking him before you both headed out to the cafe and getting something to eat.

You and your father had the time of your lives catching up on everything and even talking about some old past memories you used to have here. When you got home you immediately walked to your bedroom getting some clothes and went for a shower. Coming out of the shower you did what you do every night and start reading before feeling your eyes getting slightly heavy falling asleep till the next day.

You wake up the sun blinding you as you forgot to close your curtains after reading your book last night. Looking around you getting up out of bed to walk out to the balcony of your room taking in deep breaths and looking at the clear white blue sky. This was one of the reasons you still came here … you enjoyed nature actually you loved nature always wanting to be outside wether or not the weather is good or bad youd always love what the world gives you and you thinking this let a smile creep up on your face.

You stretched and heard your dad calling for you so you hurriedly closed your doors but leaving them slightly open before running downstairs meeting a huge smiling father “good morning father how are you?” you asked before sitting down and started eating what you assume your father had cooked up for you like he did every morning. “Good morning my pumpkin did you sleep well?” your father asked making youtube and nod “ i did father i hope you did too … isnt it beautiful weather outside?” you asked your father knowing he also liked nature he nodded and chucked “ ofc course y/n … i was thinking… why dont we go fishing today?” your father asked you making you stand up excitedly and nod. You loved spending time with your father but sometimes with his work its hard to do so any chance given youd always take it. As soon as you stood up you headed upstairs putting on some comfy clothes and headed back downstairs. “ ok father im ready” you said to your father making him take his things and nod before getting his shoes on and headed over to the late which was only across the little bridge outside of your cabin 

“y/n dont forget to be quiet for me… you never know what i might catch out here.” your father said to you as he started setting up his equipment making you nod and set up two pull out chairs of a bag for you and your father to sit on. You got all of your things ready and relaxed in your seat again feeling your eyes getting heavy. You always fall asleep because no matter how many times your father wont catch anything he still never gives up. You was about to fall asleep but your father shouted and screamed that he saw a huge tail in the lake making you groan as he has done this a couple of times “ father theres nothing there you say this all the time” you said to him but he didnt listen “y/n its a mermaid im sure of it! I shall catch it and kill it they are abominations to this world and no mystical creature should live” your father screamed at the top of his lung making you grit your teeth… this annoyed you because at home all he talks about is mystical creatures and how he saw it kill and drown your mother but you came here because this is a place he never talks about them till now so you stood up and walked back to the cabin, your father watching you “y/n where are you going im sorry!” your father shouted and apologised but you just walked into the cabin and straight to your room changing and laying on the bed closing your eyes 

Your father sighed and tried to look for the mystical creature but not seeing it anywhere he decided to reach in the bag next to him and start eating some food he prepared. Your father was relaxed until he saw another tail he dropped his sandwich before taking his binoculars and seeing it was infact a mermaids take but as he moved to look further along the body he saw it was a merman changing into human making him scoff and grit his teeth “ hey you?!” your father shouted loudly but as he saw the merman run, your father by the time he packed up his things quickly but the merman was out of his sight making him sigh and just sut back on his chair waiting for the merman to come back 

You was laying in bed relaxing and closing your eyes slowly drifting to sleep until you hear the doors to your bedroom open and close…it wasnt just any doors it was the balcony doors you sat up and looked around till you saw someone stood with their back facing you as if they were running from someone you could see the heaviness of their breathing and stood up going behind then and tapping his shoulder “ excuse me what do you thing your doing in my cabin and bedroom?” you said makingthe boy infront of you nearly stopping breathing he turned around slowly and looked at you. You was taken aback… the beauty the man behold was crazy everything about this man infront of you was perfect and you couldnt keep your eyes off of him.

To be continued…….

[gallapiech]

im held hostage to do this tag game

thank u @spookygingerr for making this week's tag game heeeheeee and thank you @lingy910y @sleepyheadgallavich & @creepkinginc for tagging me!

favourite nickname someone gave you: NOT GREG. hm, maybe Fernsie? People usually just call me Pie lol.

favourite thing in your room/house: my computer :3c

your favourite thing about a friend/partner/family member: the joking jokester you make me laugh so much for the next challenge we will be painting using mythica's blood

what is something you’re grateful for today? The people who ordered a keychain :)

what’s your favourite thing about this fandom? The creativity!!!!!

if one song could describe your day today, what would it be? I'm so ass at doing these kind of things uhhh

pick one of your pocket pals and tell them something you admire about them: I'm gonna do this one a little differently, and use it for my tags at the same time!

@ian-galagher I admire the fact that despite also being Dutch you still haven't come to my house and beaten the ever loving shit out of me, yet. ♥ Also the Africa fic is so good I love it and you.

@lee-ow ur ok ig.

@deathclassic Molllyyy I always get excited when our paths cross! I admire your work ethic because I would've exploded 100 times already if I had the same work hours that you do LOL.

@thepupperino I love talking to you sooo much omg! I manifest you having insomnia every morning just so I can catch you in the discord server :) Also your stories are always so crazy and amazing oh my god.

@deedala I love it whenever we struggle at trivia together <3 What's the dps number of the shit toilet in fallout 4? hint: 0 vowels @doshiart I admire your dedication to art so much!!! Your art is so fucking good and I love your backgrounds and rendering I got much to learn from you.

@roryonic I admire your work ethic and I love your fics sooo much, your dry sense of humor is also very funny. @jrooc Your big sister energy is ooffff the charts Jess I love talking to you and I always feel like you give me a safe space. Also your writing is bomb dot com I eat all your words up. @heymacy YOUR GIFS AHHHH tyheyre so amazing macy, I also love it whenever I can catch you in the server. I always feel like you bring the sun with you wherever you go. @transmurderbug Sky I love talking to you, seeing you fail so miserably with the snail race commands and then giving up. I can't wait to hang out again next netflix n chill.

I can go on forever so I'll force myself to stop here, LOL. If I didn't mention you then you probably already tagged me :3, or I'm too lazy to add you but i still see u and appreciate u muah muah muah

[carrickbender]

Sunday 7-

I had 2 drs appointments on Friday, one of which was a CT that was supposed to help figure out why I have so much pain in my right testicle(TMI). It saw nothing, so now we get to keep guessing. Boss told me to "take weekend off", but was doing the morning orders/teams call every day between 5-7, trying to fix stuff and do reconciliations. Glad they trust me with this, but wanna give a 'high five' to my imposter syndrome telling me im gonna get fired any day.

- had to take Henry to urgent care on Saturday, and it turns out he has the start of pneumonia. Wanna give a big shout out to the ARNP who told me she really thought he should just 'ride it out' after 10 days of awful coughing and that their kids 'were still in it after a month'. Yeah, the PA said there was no way he wasn't leaving without antibiotics. Made me feel like an asshole parent... he's on day 2, and already more of himself.

- I went back up there today for me, and I have pretty severe bronchitis. He put me on a different antibiotic, more steroids, refilled my inhaler, and actually listened to me. I mean, I appreciated his care and actual concern. Fun situation: while I was there, a tree fell across the powerlines and tripped off most of town, so they had to go to back-up generators. There was a hall full of people, in a brown out, that the staff were managing like pros. Seriously, we are lucky to have that place.

-after today, I have 4 payments left on my car. 4. I think we will wait till June, and then it's 4 door vehicle time. The lunabug is getting taller, and we want to go see my dad/stepmom in Eastern Wa in something that has space. Everybody and their dog has sent me one of those damn, "interested in a new car loan? It's OK to check your rate, and won't hurt your credit" messages and as soon as my credit union chimes in, I'm sure we'll have something to talk about.

- speaking of something to not talk about, I learned a new term and joined a subredit today called 'dead bedrooms', and yeah, checks out completely. I don't have a therapist yet, so it's not a bad sorce of info or me trying to figure out what I have messed up(apparently, yet again).

- so I had to stop at Walmart(yay for small business destruction by a corporate giant!) for meds/a few groceries and this dingus in an f250 with a WA st license plate celebrating wrestling decided he needed to back into a compact space that was in front of me. He almost hit the first car on the way in(who had to stop and back up), but then he literally backed his 'not a farm truck but a penis extension' into the compact space in front of me, and thanks to me backing up knowing he would have been sticking out if I didn't, he took 3 feet of my spot and his hitch was literally 4 inches from hitting my car. In my space. And that entitled piece of shit didn't even look to see how close he was, he just walked away like he was the king of backing up. Look, I have no problem with wrestlers, but the only one who matters in my life is John Irving, and I think he would have been sensitive enough not to be a shit bird like that! (Part 1 of 2 rant)

- I wanted to share a thought or 2 about something I've seen going about on here for a little bit, because I think i need to say avfew things:

I love that I have so many people I follow here who take stances for the poor, marginalized, POC, and other underrepresented communities-not just in a perfunctory way of saying 'I support you'; but quite a few of you are actually involved in helping bring about change and strengthening communities by being unselfish hands that help heal hearts- you inspire me to be a better person, really. As a person of faith, I see you doing the work that many faith leaders of old spoke of when they talked of when they said, "serve as you have been served, and love as you have been loved"- and seeing that faith in action, it has made me read more about liberation theology and revisit the works of the Rt Rev Bishop Desmond Tutu, Dietrich Bonhoffer, and Dr Martin Luther King jr(and of the later, 'Why I oppose the war in Vietnam' is just as relevant now as it was then). I thank you all for this inspiration and work.

But what I have really come to realize about myself is that I am a person of privilege. I am a white CISmale, straight, accessed a good education at a young age, had a huge extended family that helped raise me when my mom had me at 17, have never had to worry about my gender causing me to be looked at differently, have a good job(for now), have access to clean water, don't live in a food desert, and save for the fact that I understood discrimination at a very young age thanks to my last name, I know that I have lived a mostly privileged life.

But there is one privilege I will never take for granted, and that's voting. And yes, I don't always vote my conscience because at heart, I am a democratic Socialist. But I always vote in my local and state house election because it is in places like your local school board or your city council where you can stop the spread of groups like 'Moms for Liberty' or any of the other neo-fascist organizations that seek to change education or change for the worse how cities deal with their population experiencing homelessness. If I stay home from these elections, I feel like I'm spitting on my great grandmother's grave(whose name I found on the voting roll of the first year that women could vote in Basin, Montana). I feel like I'm not being a good parent or a community member for sticking up for my sons right(or other kids rights) to read books in the school library that have a rainbow(let alone letting kids see representation for non-traditional families that are just the same as everybody else!). So please, if you're feeling crappy about the election, this right here is the biggest way to affect change if you don't know where to start or affirm.there is something you can do to really make a difference. Don't see enough representation of POC on your city council, especially in multi-ethnic communities? Hear a trans voice that would make for a great representative for all people? Fill in those boxes, act locally, and get those folks elected! It works if you work it!

I hear a lot of voices talking about Joe Biden these days, and I feel numb and angry about a lot of things that have been done in our names too: I hate HATE what is happening in Gaza(PBUT); I hate our support of Saudi Arabia and the proxy war in Yemen; Our jaunts in Zaire and Jordan; I hate that we are no closer to universal Healthcare, but I understand that that road and others lead through a Republican congress. I love that child poverty is declining, but programmes that were designed to make this a reality are sunsetting. We have a barbaric and truly archaic policy on immigration, and every time(that's not hyperbole, either), every goddamn time a good bill has been proposed to deal with the issue, the bill has been met by the xenophobic forces on the right and their deep pockets fueling the media and it is destroyed out of fear. And let's not forget student debt forgiveness, the continued dismantling of public education by states like Texas and Florida, Our goal of dismantling of the prison industrial complex, the protection of reproductive healthcare, and the dire need for nationwide police reform.

Yes, our laundry list is long, but it is full of necessary things that need to change or be codified in order for a great change to happen for generations and the continuatonof this great experiment called the U.S.A.

And for all of this and more, I ask: where are the leaders of our generation on this? Where are the ghosts of John Lewis, of Paul Wellstone, and of Shirley Chisholm? Thankfully, our leaders and the ghostsbof their forebearers are there- they are doing their best, and thankfully we(those of us on the progressive side) are represented by POC women who will go to the mat for these issues and more, being inspired by those who came before them. But the more that I think about it, it's time that we offer an ultimatum: we'll give you our voting block, Joe. We'll help bring along the majority of the 9 million new voters who are coming of age this year, so you will have a supermajority with which you can put forth truly transformative legislation. Sure, you'll get us- for now. But if it's businesses as usual, if we are not knocking over the tables of the money changers, and if we are not investing more in programmes of social uplift than we are for the military industrial complex, then we strike. Not in 2028, as one of my absolute favourite people on here suggest, but in 2026, in early summer. Because it is people like me, those of us who have know privilege and continue to know it, who are finally waking up to the truth that we need to do the work. We need to do the heavy lifting. I'm willing to make that offer, and I hope I'm not alone, because there either needs to be a change in the way our political system operates, or we walk away and start our own political entity. I hope I'm not alone in the way I feel, and I hope that we can all make the proposition. We have the leaders, we have the people, now it's about courage. It's time.

But for today, if you can pull the lever for democrats nationally, I totally get it. But consider what I said about voting locally, and in local races and elect people who represent your values. It matters.

- ok, rant over: if you made it this far, know that I love you all and I hope this week brings good things for you. Remember what Pete Seeger always said: "Take it easy, but take it". Much love yall!

[honeygrandpa]

tw warning: family death and animal injury

this has probably been the worst week of my life. on sunday my uncle had a heart attack on his way home from a trip so i drive from ga to tn to pick up his wife and then 10.5 hours to ia to get her to the hospital before he passed and we didn’t make it time. then i drive her back to tn and stayed with her because she couldn’t take care of herself and she wouldn’t eat (she’s diabetic so this was a real problem) and she didn’t know how to pay her bills or how to live without him. i got back to ga yesterday and then today, my dogs were outside on the chain and 2 neighbor dogs came into our yard off leash. 1 of my dogs attacked 1 of the neighbor dogs and that dog has to have an emergency procedure in the morning to drain the wound. i know legally it wasn’t my fault but i feel so so awful and i don’t know what to do. i don’t have the money to pay her vet bills. with all of the travel with my uncle, im already have debt on my credit card that i can’t pay off. and i have to drive to ia again next week for the funeral and pay for boarding for my dogs. i paid $1000 to a trainer who says they specialized in aggressive dogs last year and she basically told me to not bring them around other dogs. my dogs are rescues and they used to be ok around other dogs but my brother’s dog bites people and made them really nervous and ever since 1 of my dogs bit his dog to keep him away from me, they’ve both struggled with dog aggression. they like little dogs and calm dogs but get really bad around bigger energetic dogs. everything is awful and i really really don’t know what to do. im also struggling to finish my master’s degree and already am taking an incomplete for my culminating project so i have more time to finish writing. i am struggling to get everything done and apply to jobs so i might end up being too late to get a teaching job before the school year starts and i turned 26 this month so i wont have health insurance and i wont be able to see my therapist even though my panic attacks have been worse than usual this year and ive had really awful ones where i cant stop throwing up a few times this year when i used to have the really bad ones once every few years. im overwhelmed, i cant afford to move out of my moms house even though she doesn’t want me here, and im never going to see my favorite uncle again. i cant even afford to take care of these dogs but ive been trying for like 3 years now because they needed a home after being abused and neglected by their previous owner. they’re also the only thing i have in my life that make me feel happy most days. like lucky is currently in my lap, licking my tears. i don’t even want to consider it but should i give them up? i probably wouldn’t make it without them but i really don’t know what to do. should i try to pay for the neighbor dog’s vet bills with my credit card?? the neighbor told me that she doesn’t hold me responsible and that she’ll keep her dogs on leashes going forward but she said this while sobbing with her hands covered in her dog’s blood. i don’t think this week could get worse honestly. ive never cried so much in one week

[harufluff]

hello, may I request soobin x shy reader with number 92 from the fluff prompt list??

Hope you’re doing well, have a great day 🥰😵‍💫

sorry it took so long anon…

'not so cheesy' c.sb

warnings - angry yunjin, mentions of a burn, bad writing lol

genre - fluff, fluff prompt list, soobin x shy!reader, non-idol au, soobin x barista!reader, #92 "My heart isn’t beating faster, my heart isn’t beating faster, I swear it isn’t, get ahold of yourself."

hi everyone! im working on the series right now so im not dead, but here is something fluffy for you :)) please feel free to request anything to me and I will try to get it done.

‘order 21!!’

your co-worker called out into the small cafe. you loved working here. there were books everywhere and it’s an easy breakfast in the morning. it was perfectly convenient.

it helped you practice being a little more social too. ever since you were a kid, you were shy and never liked talking to people. this job you had to and you figured that was good.

but there were things that were better than the others. you worked with your friend Yunjin. you met and the job and got along well so you have each other your numbers and here you are.

but one of the best things, is a customer that comes in every morning and buys the same thing every time. he buys a coffee and a cookie and go sits down in a corner booth. his name you don’t know, but he really is handsome.

Yunjin has been trying to convince you to ask for his name and number for the entire time he’s been coming in, but you just think it’s rude and embarrassing.

a middle aged women came up to the counter and showed you her number,

‘here we are, one americano. that’ll be $3.55 please’

you thanked her as she walked away. but just as she left the cafe, a tall man with black hair came in. the same man that you have had a bit of a crush on. he walked up to the counter and said to you,

‘i’ll have my usual please and a water today too please’

you nodded and got his usual cookie then brought it back to the counter for him along with the cold water. you were looking down until you got there and finally made eye contact with him. he was looking straight in the eyes with a soft smile.

‘i-i’ll bring your coffee o-over to your table when it’s done’

you said shakily, but all he did was nod and smile at you again before walking away to his usual booth in the corner.

‘YA L/N Y/N. WHAT WAS THAT’

yunjin said to you in a yell whisper than everyone could hear, regardless of her “whispering” it. youve told her before that you will never fall in love at a cafe because it was too cheesy. she personally thinks you and a man you have never met before are meant to be together.

you just gave her a glare before going over to the finished coffee for the customer. you walked it over to his table, your hands still a little shaky.

‘here’s your coffee s-‘

two inches away from the table the coffee spilled over the cup and onto your hand, the hot coffee burning like heck. you mange to get the coffee cup on the table before retracting your arms into your chest as the burning continued to get worse.

‘oh my gosh are you ok?’

he asked as he bent down slightly to get a look at your hand. you nodded violently, pretty much telling him that you were not on and you were just being a good employee. he gently took your hand in his and looked at the dark burn on your hand.

‘are you sure your ok? it doesn’t look like it’

he finally made you look at him and he looked taken aback for a reason you don’t know why. he pushed you back to sit in the seat he was once sitting in and grabbed a paper napkin, dipping in it in his water and kneaded on the floor in between your legs and held your hand while holding the paper towel to the burn.

‘your a lot prettier up close you know…’

you look at him with wide eyes, and when he looks up at you he chuckles at your reaction.

‘t-thanks’

‘this is kind of embarrassing but your the only reason i keep coming back here. my friend recommended this place to me and i saw you so i kept coming back’

he says looking away from you, his ears getting redder by the second.

‘i’ve seen you around too. your cute’

his expression changed in an instant...

'My heart isn’t beating faster, my heart isn’t beating faster, I swear it isn’t, get ahold of yourself.'

he said quietly to himself in almost a chant. you giggled at his pure cuteness. he stood up and you did as well. you bid your goodbyes and exchanged numbers.

maybe meeting at a cafe isnt so cheesy.

lord this was so bad...

© Harufluff 2022 | Do not copy, repost or claim my works.

[crabonfire]

It's okay. Let it all out.

engineer x reader one shot

today has been a horrible day and I want to uh go to sleep forever and never wake up but that's ok here's a self indulgent one shot

reader is VERY self indulgent. they have stuffed animals n shit and yeah. No established relationship, engie is your best friend.

also I didn't mention this but engie has his goggles and hardhat off, his hair is growing and so is his beard but its mostly like...in the process. Yeah.

Specific Tags: comfort, best friends to lovers, first kisses together, tiny l bomb / confession and making out. angst to fluff.

Warnings: depressed reader because they just like me fr

♡ im sobbing as im writing this, so sorry for any errors because there aint any way i got time to check this back ♡

There it is again, that shitty feeling that lingers in their brain out of buttfuck nowhere. Those thoughts that eat them up inside, putting them on the brink of suicide. Where did they come from? Who knows. When did they start? Honestly, they lost count.

The cruel things come and go, yet each time they come back, they come back just as harsh if not downright evil, ruining their mentality.

It wasn't even a bad day. But here we go again, the self deprecating thoughts are rushing in because of something that really is out of your control. You know it's out of your control, but that doesn't mean just because you know it doesn't suck.

The tears don't stop, They never do as you clutch onto your stuffed animal tightly. It's like a routine for you to do this, think, cry, and sob. In the morning, you go back to normal, pretending to be your happy and charismatic self again. So you're letting it all out. You'll probably forget about this later like you always do.

Why am I like this? Why was I born into this place just to suffer every day? Why do I feed onto these insecurities I have? Why do people even like me? Why does anybody even bother-

knock knock knock

That knocks you back to reality, startled by the sudden noise.

"Reader? It's me, Dell."

You flinch, wiping your tears away and inhaling deeply to calm yourself down before finally being able to reply.

"...come in."

He opens the door, "Oh, honey..." He notices the marks of old tears that have streamed down your cheeks, a frown appearing on his face with brows furrowed in worry. That automatically made you cry again, that pitiful look on his face. This is exactly why you wanted to be alone. You didn't want to worry him, but again, the tears could never seem to stop.

He quickly walks towards you as you try your best to wipe the tears, yet they keep on pouring. He sits next to you on the bed as you clutch on tighter to your plushie. Sobs and gasps are muffled from your face being covered by the plushie.

He places a hand to your back, making you look at him as he signals you for a hug. You place the plush behind you and envelop yourself into his embrace. "That's it, let it all out, darlin'...I'm here for you." He holds you tightly, his warmth being warmer than anything you've ever felt.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

As the time goes by, you've calmed down and finished crying. Though he doesn't stop his gentle rubbing of your back. You pull back from his chest, tears have stained his shirt but the look on his face tells you he does not care.

"You alright now, sweetheart? Do you wanna talk about it?" He asks, a soft smile on his face. You consider it, but shake your head no, knowing you'd just start having a mental breakdown infront of him. "Okay, that's okay." He says, tone just as soft as his expression.

"Can we just stay like this? I'm sorry if I'm...intruding on boundaries." You mutter out, voice sore from your crying. "Of course darlin', you don't hafta' ask." His smile widens, making you mirror it too. Gosh, it's such a contagious smile.

You place your head on his shoulder, wrapped arms loosening their tight grasp as you melt into his embrace once again. Your eyes close, letting yourself be in this comforting position.

"I just want you to know that I care about you, honeybee, and you are such a strong soul."

Then they open again, surprised by the sudden affirmation.

"And your heart, is the kindest I've ever met."

You feel the urge to cry again, but you don't.

"Whatever it is that's bothering you, I promise you that you can get through it. Because you are something extraordinary."

He goes on, whispering soft affirmations to your ear making those horrid thoughts go away. And as he does, the comfort of it all makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. This makes you feel deep love for him.

You already recognized your crush for him a long time ago, and you know you were sobbing a couple minutes ago, but your heart is racing once again, and this time it's because of a man and his sweet ass personality.

You can feel your cheeks heat up as he speaks, his voice is low, yet gentle to one's ear. A voice so kind, it's as if you're in a dream.

Your emotions are going haywire right now for some reason, that small gesture he's doing is making you feel so much love and admiration for him it's driving you insane.

You look at him with a red faced, puzzled expression. He grins in amusement, "You alright there honeybee?" That does it, you can't contain it anymore. "Your all red in the face. Are you-"

"I am SO in love with you."

You cut him off, his eyes widening.

"And-and I've liked you for...so long. I know this is not the proper situation for-a dumb confession that you probably won't accept but I...I like you. I like you a LOT."

You pause, looking away from him.

"And-when you do things like this, I just can't handle it, you know? So, just... go ahead and tell me you dont feel the same, I know you dont." You look back, now your eyes are wide.

His expression is one of pure admiration, his eyes half lidded and a big goofy smile on his face, cheeks dusted with a rosy tint.

..oh. it seems you were wrong. It seems he does like you back.

You want to speak again, but the words are stuck in your throat. He places a hand to your cheek, and stares into your eyes.

"I like you too, sugar."

He leans in, kissing you. You kiss him back, feeling him smile into you when you do. It's short, but it's something that tells you the deep love he's felt for you all this time.

"Gosh, I've been waiting for that for so long...you have no idea." You smile and kiss him again, and this time it's longer. He bites your lip, making you gasp and open your mouth, your tounges entertwine.

He tastes like heaven. The pure sweetness is so much that it's almost overwhelming. There's hints of beer and a smoky smell to him, but what can you expect from a man who always works in his workshop.

When you pull away to breathe, his breath is so close to your face that it makes you go insane. He still has that dumb smile on his face, he's absolutely entranced by you.

"I never knew that I'd be such a lucky man, holding you and tasting you like this." He kisses you once more before he continues, "I'm so happy you feel the same." He rests his forehead against yours, closing his eyes and smiling contently.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

this actually did make me feel better!! yay.

if u want an aftermath,,,ill make one :)

but wooo!!! sorry if the romance stuff was rushed lmao I'm not too good at these long angst to fluff stuff...plus I'm rusty,,,haven't written these in a bit. Mostly just short one shots for multiple characters.

I hope u enjoyed this as much as I did writing it. Engie lovers unite I want this man so bad

[mmmmmmmmmmmmsoup]

Yandere x gardener pt.6

warning: SLOW BURN, WE ARE NOT EVEN WALKING, WE ARE CRAWLING OUR WAY THERE, kidnapping, slight nsfw but not really, yandere stuff

you started to wiggle in your sleep, shifting awake. once you sat up and did your morning stretch, you looked around the room.

"huh?" you say a little surprised.

you don't remember going to the guest room and going to bed last night.

'oh dear lord, did I fall asleep in the truck? did Cash carry me to bed??????' you think to yourself. you place your hands upon your cheeks, blushing.

you didn't care to admit it, but you were worried about having feelings for Cash. sure he doesn't talk a hole bunch and at first of knowing each other you didn't know if he even liked you as a human, but deep down he was really sweet. bringing you hot drinks on cold days, making sure you don't work yourself too hard, having lunch together every now and then. not mention his mama, who is the sweetest person in the world! And to put the cherry on the cake, Cash does this... he takes you in, gives you a place to stay for the night, where you will feel safe and be able to rest... its all just-

next thing you know, you hear knocking "oh uh, come in!"

as you lay in bed, Cashes mom opens the door and steps into the room. "mornin, dear! how did you sleep? hopefully better then the last few nights."

"I don't think I've slept better" you chuckle.

"thats good to hear! i just came in to tell you breakfast is just about ready, so don't take too long getting dressed."

"o-oh thank you! I'll be out in just a moment!" you reply

mama smiles and leaves the room, closing the door behind her.

'well, I guess thats my sign to get dressed then.'

you push yourself off the bed and walk towards your bag full of clothes. you still had work today, so you put on your work clothes, nothing fancy.

once you were dressed, you headed out to the kitchen, and there was Cash frying up some bacon while mama was sitting at the table knitting, chatting with her son.

"morning!" you say shyly, not ever being in the ranchers house this early in the morning.

"mornin" Cash says back as he starts to plate the bacon.

once you sit down, cash hands you and mama a plate, it has bacon, pancakes and eggs on it, a nice homemade breakfast.

"thank you...and thank you again for all of this, you guys really didn't have to do this"

"its nothin" Cash says, he takes a seat across from you, with a plate of food for himself.

"so whats the plan for you today?" mama asks

"oh, I still have work today, so I'll be heading out shortly, and once Im done I can come back to grab my stuff and get out of your hair."

....

the room went silent.

" you gonna head back home? already?" mama questions

" well I don't want to over step my welcome"

" do you think you'll be comfortable enough to sleep?" mama asks

" well... I don't know, but either way I can't not go back to my house. at some point I'll have to just deal with it."

...

more silents.

Cash buds in, " how about you stay here for a bit longer..? doesn't have to be a forever thing, but until you fully feel safe to go back, hows that?"

...

you really didn't want to over stay your welcome, but if they were this insistent... plus its true. you don't think you would be able to sleep if you did go back home, home just didn't feel safe right now.

"ok. I'll stay."

mama clapped her hands, "yay! maybe you can give me a hand making cookies this week, family recipe!"

you smile and continue to eat your breakfast.

after your meal you pack your car with your tools and head off to work.

-------Time Skip--------

it had almost been a week since you chose to stay at the ranch, mama loved having you around and having someone to bake goods with.

you and Cash have talked a lot more and he seems content in your presents.

Cash was actually loving all of this week. you coming home after work, bonding with his mama... it made him feel like you guys were a happy married couple. he loved the sent you left in the house, it just smelled more like you. he loved seeing you come out of your room, in comfy clothing, looking relaxed.

and thank god his mama goes to bed early cause the things he does at night...

he sniffs the pillows lol. like once everyone is in bed, he goes out to the living room where you usually sit, and sniffs the cushions. he has had to fight the urge of using your toothbrush. sometimes he'll try and do the laundry before mama can, just so he can handle your clothes, he also sniffs them, yes the underwear too.

he's aware that the gardening season is coming to a close, and at first he was sad about not seeing you until spring, but now that your basically living with him, he doesn't have to worry about that anymore!

or at least he thought...

Cash was sitting in the living room, taking a break from ranching. you come in from outside.

"hey can I talk to you about something?" you ask

you choose to sit next to Cash, wearing your work clothes.

Cash hums, signalling you to continue.

"so this week is the last week of gardening, so after today your garden will be prepped for the winter and I won't need to work outside anymore."

Cash nods his head, hearing what your saying.

'maybe she can stay here more in the day, we could have lunch together, maybe she would want to help out with the cows' Cash thinks to himself, daydreaming of you and him alone, in the truck.

"I also wanna say thank you for allowing me to stay here with you and your mom, and I'm happy to say... I found a new place to live?"

That got Cashes attention real quick, he sits up slightly, eyebrows raised, "what?"

"yeah! i figured I would never really feel safe after what happend, so I have been doing some research and I found a new place to move into!"

This is the last thing Cash wanted to hear. so not only are you done gardening, but your moving? so he really won't be able to see you until spring.

"wha- when are you moving?"

"tomorrow, the day after I'm done working on your garden! all I need to do is sign some papers, and I'll have a new place!"

"what about all of your stuff?" Cash questions.

"I'm getting movers to come in on the same day, to move everything"

"have you told mama yet?"

"I have! she's a little sad to see me go but she seems happy for me"

Cash was feeling dizzy, he was enjoying having you here, living with him, and now your just... gonna go?? this can't be happening, no this won't happen, this can't happen.

Cash looks towards you, an odd expression on his face. you can't pin point it, but your sensing some discomfort from him.

"...I'll give you a moment to think about whats happening, I better get back to work anyways..." you stand up making your way to the door.

Cash is spinning out of control. only on the inside of course, on the outside he's just hunched over sitting in a chair.

he stands up walking over to your bedroom, as he opens the door, he looks into the room scanning all your belongings. this will be all gone, no one here to keep this room warm, no more of your little nick nacks around the house. you'll just turn into another stranger until spring, and then he'll have to work your relationship back from the bottom. what if you meet someone before then?

Cash closes your bedroom door and walks over to the window that peers out towards the garden. thankfully your back was turned towards the house, so you didn't see the Rancher staring at you.

you won't be here anymore. just thinking of a life with out you makes his chest feel tight.

Who’s he gonna come home to have a long day of work? Yes he has his ma. But it’s not the same, he needs someone he can hold close, someone he can bring to bed with, someone he can have kids with…

He could imagine it so perfectly too. You a gardener, him a rancher. during the winter season when it’s too cold for you to work, you just stay home making warm meals and caring for his ma, or you join him at work sometimes, while he’s feeding the cows, your in the truck keeping cozy… and maybe in a few years, you two have a few kids running around. One girl, one boy.

He can’t just let you slip away like this, and miss out on the life you two could have.

the sun was setting and you had nearly finished your work for the day, the garden was done and ready for winter, and all you had to do is put everything away.

you gathered the tools and headed towards the shed. As your in the shed, putting everything away, a shadow is casted over you, you look over your shoulder seeing Cash standing in the door way.

"oh hey Cash, whats up?"

...

Cash didn't respond, which wasn't really out of the ordinary for him. you turn around fully facing him.

" hey i just need to squeeze past you, if thats ok..." you try to shuffle around him, but oddly enough he doesn't let you pass. you look up at him, somethings off. his face hold a darker expression and his eye look dangerous.

"y'know y/n..." Cash speaks, looking around the shed.

he spots a rubber mallet on a shelf near him. he starts to reach for it.

"I've really enjoyed the time you've spent here, at my home."

Cash now has the rubber mallet fully in his hands.

"...and i think this... could be your home too"

you step back, away from him "haha... your kinda scaring me Cash"

"I think you should stay here." Cash says, but by the way he says it, you know it's not a suggestion.

you start to breath heavy, unsure of whats really about to happen, all you know, is that you gotta get out of this fucking shed.

you bolt, you don't try to squeeze past him, bumping shoulders, no, you head straight between his legs.

He clearly wasn't expecting you to do that and to be so fast at it. he tries to bring his legs together hoping you will get trapped in the process, but you just manage to squeeze out beneath him.

you just start running, heading in the direction of the house. you run through the garden, but before you can make it half way, you feel a heavy pain in your head. you fall to the ground, everything looks blurry and your head is spinning, you feel something heavy rest on your back. before you pass out, the last thing you see is a shadow casted on the dirt ground in front of you.

Cash looked down at you, your limp body no longer putting up a fight. As he sat on your back, he let out a sigh. he grabbed some rope from his coat pocket and started to tie your hands together.

"I didn't want to do this darlin, but you left me no choice..." Cash tied the last knot and stood up. he picked up your limp body and carried you to a special place he had planned.

my god. all weekend I have had nothing to do so I've just been writing up a storm. I wrote this with my laptop, I find thats its smoother to do. do ya'll notice anything within the writing compared to me writing on my phone?

[egirlgarak]

@annahamiltonsstuff asked a while back if I could post about my little Franz playlist, so here we are! thanks for asking, I had fun streamlining and annotating :3c it’s all under the cut, but you can listen here :]

Burning of the Midnight Lamp - Jimi Hendrix

The morning is dead, and the day is too There's nothing left here to lead me but the velvet moon All my loneliness I have felt today It's a little more than enough to make a man throw himself away And I continue to burn the Midnight Lamp, alone

Jimi song about being a lonely insomniac? yeah, sure. that's for franz.

Asleep in the Deep - Mastodon

The moment you walked in the room my friend The demons, they all went away Be careful they're only asleep for a while Pretending there's nothing to say. Throw salt in all the corners here Make sure you watch him leave

i think several people have come into franz’s life, stayed just long enough to shine their light on him, just long enough for him to wonder what his life could be. gave him just enough of their time for him to envision a man he could and would never be. and in the end, they leave. every time. some by choice (laura, carlo, mikesch- though i think franz was the one to leave mikesch that summer decades ago, too afraid of his own bisexuality), others not (Im Freien Fall, Am Endes des Flurs). so, yes, people come, they help put his fears to rest, and then they leave and franz is alone again with memories of these people he’s loved and the fear that he’s never been enough and he’ll always be alone.

Every Planet We Reach Is Dead - Gorillaz

When we go down For all the sacred selfless days Only left with heartache I want to see you again I love you But what are we going to do?

but the person who’s been by his side the whole time? the one he thought he could trust to the end? he doesn’t even have that. Der Tod ist unser ganzes Leben is such a delicious heartbreak of an episode with how distant Franz and Ivo are from each other. All Franz wants to do is protect Ivo because he trusts him. but then Ivo turns around and lies to his face and Franz, again, is left to wonder what the last twenty years have meant.

Veteran of the Psychic Wars - Blue Öyster Cult

You see me now, a veteran of a thousand psychic wars My energy's spent at last and my armor is destroyed I have used up all my weapons and I'm helpless and bereaved Wounds are all I'm made of

idk man, boy’s got trauma, what else is there to say.

Capsize - The Low Blow

Blood on my hands I'm a lonely man So afraid of the lovers I seek For I'm dancing in a burning field Of these love letters I'll never speak (…) Tears on my cheek don't make me weak Nor does loving the beautiful Cause I'm stronger than hell when I'm looking at you

ok, see. i think franz has hardened as he’s aged, but at his core I do think he’s quite gentle (specifically envisioning crying Franz in Blutiger Asphalt & Frau Bu Lacht) and, really, how else can he cope with the loss he’s experienced in his life than by protecting himself from everything else. so for all the pain and suffering franz has gone through, there is something genuinely beautiful about the love franz and ivo share, and i think a lot of franz’s strength comes from loving and being loved by ivo.

Love Hurts - Incubus

Love hurts But sometimes it's a good hurt And it feels like I'm alive Love sings When it transcends the bad things Have a heart and try me 'Cause without love, I won't survive

see again: the concept of being a broken man coming to terms with loving and being loved, even amidst your mental illnesses

Hurt - Johnny Cash

I hurt myself today To see if I still feel,  (…) Everyone I know Goes away in the end

would love to just copy paste the whole ass song in here. i won’t. but it’s a franz song. [see: die Wahrheit & also every other Franz and the No Good Very Bad day episode]

I Am All I Got - The Dead Brothers

I remember the day When I cried out for help No one came running And that′s when I first knew I am all I got!

two songs that wouldnt apply to franz if he would just either: a) go to therapy b) go to bed c) go let ivo spoon him (ideally all of the above, but i’ll settle for even just one. please franzl. we can’t keep doing this)

Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd

When I was a child, I caught a fleeting glimpse Out of the corner of my eye I turned to look, but it was gone I cannot put my finger on it now The child is grown, the dream is gone I have become comfortably numb

We all already know that Franz’s massive daddy issues are the root of most of his woes and sorrows, right? His abusive father played a fundamental role in how he learned to navigate the world around him. i think this is less canon and more the effects of @weidli’s word weaving but the concept of franz, as a little boy, doing everything he can to be worthy of his father’s affection, only for the man to turn around with a scowl on his face and a belt in his hands? no child deserves that. no one would come out of that undamaged. then 40 years down the line this same man commits assisted suicide without saying goodbye (Außer Gefecht) and now Franz is left wondering if there was ever any love there.

But it’s okay! Franz has a coping mechanism. It’s called Depression.

[fortpeat]

hello hello hello. i absolutely love your hot takes on prapaisky so today im here to drop one of mine and ask your opinion on the same. as much as i want sky to seek help from the right person, go to therapy and start his healing journey (of course prapai has already helped in that quarter but i see most people want to SEE sky go to therapy), i personally think he's too stubborn to do just that and i don't mean this in a bad way. everyone has their coping mechanism and we know sky doesn't have the healthiest one but something about sky seeking professional help just doesn't sit right with me. i feel that apart from being extremely stubborn, he's also incredibly smart and terribly shy. stubborn because he will refuse therapy, smart because he knows how to deal with his trauma and exactly what needs to be done to heal (part of it includes climbing into prapai every chance he gets and clinging to prapai for the rest of their lives, among other things- and we know both of them absolutely love it), and shy because well that's pretty self explanatory. he has been dealing with it on his own all this time and he may have developed a few too many unhealthy habits but that's beside the point. now, considering how difficult it was for sky to open up to prapai in the first place (and for good reason), and just how much time it took for him to trust prapai, i don't think sky is the kind person who would want to discuss his trauma with just about anyone, it doesn't matter if the other person is a professional psychiatrist/psychologist with fifty degrees and what not. he did it with prapai because prapai proved to him just how much he loves and accepts sky for who he is. prapai has EARNED that privilege (yes it IS a privilege). it's PRAPAI!!!!! so i don't think sky will ever be enthusiastic about going to therapy. yes maybe it's not fair to prapai if sky decides to only rely on prapai. yes it's not fair to sky himself, it's not fair to their relationship but again that's beside the point. that's just the kind of person sky is. of course i could be wrong with my character analysis and i would really really want sky to go to therapy if it helps but idk this is my two cents or whatever ahhhhh im so sorry for the dump i just have too many ~thoughts~

Hey Nonnie ❤️☺️

So first things first sorry for the late reply. It was pretty late when I received this and I was so sleepy and I knew I wouldn't be able to answer it properly and you my dear who wrote this beautiful analysis deserves my full attention. So it's morning here btw I had to sleep on it coz the answer is pretty serious.

Ok do I want Sky to get therapy. Yes I absolutely do because I believe it would do him really good. But do I think he will go. Not really. But if we had a Lita S2 and they showed Sky in therapy I would be a very happy soul.

Now why I don't think Sky would go to therapy. I am Asian and in our culture Therapy and anything mental health related is considered a taboo. We are seen as weak for choosing to go to a professional to seek help. (Bunch of BS). And this is one factor. Another is just like you said Sky can be pretty stubborn and I believe by now he has developed some habits/techniques to help him with his trauma and sometimes for some people that's more than enough and it's what they choose to be comfortable with. Sky is someone who has major trust issues and like you said Sky won't trust a random person out of the blue to open up about his past. It took so much time and effort for Prapai to have Sky trust him and that is okay coz Sky can take as much time as he wants coz this is his story and he gets to decide when and where to tell Prapai. Rain whom he knew longer didn't even know about Sky's past until that awful night. And that's okay as well. Sky don't owe anyone anything. It's upto Sky to choose how he handles his trauma coz only he knows what he has been through and how much pain he has suffered. So if he believes that being with Prapai and being loved and cared for by him is enough to heal then we should respect that. And forcing him to go to therapy will only backfire and make him close himself off and we know Prapai would never force Sky to do anything that he doesn't want to. And if Sky decides that yes all he needs to move on and heal is time and his Prapai then Prapai will gladly be there for him no matter what. In fact Prapai would consider it as a privilege that Sky trusts him enough to accept Prapai's unwavering support.

Why I want Sky to be shown in therapy. Like I said mental health related issues are still considered a taboo in many places. So this could be a very good representation to show that going to therapy and seeking help is never a sign of weakness and that if you think you need help to be better then you should do so without the fear of being judged or alienated.

[leefi]

The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere Read-through | Part 2: Chapters 14-22

Part 1: 1-14 | Part 2: 14-22 | Part 3: 22-34 | Part 4: 34-64 | Part 5: 64-80 | Part 6: 81-90 | Part 7: 90-100 | Part 8: 100-127 (caught up here)

im curious as to whether references to things that are very modern to us (i.e. occam's razor, the glass ceiling, etc.) are just a function of storytelling to help us understand themes and symbolisms (as in, if characters only referenced things recent to their history we would never understand what was going on, because i presume this story is taking place billions upon trillions of years in the future). realistically, these humans should be more alien to us than familiar, even if they still look like us. OR i wonder if there was something that occurred in the previous universe relatively soon after our current history (let's say ~10k years from now). because even if our history is preserved, it should be overwritten by a sheer volume of information that would only make it relevant to historians who specifically study the period prior to us becoming a physics-wielding species. random med students wouldn't be making these references, even if they're prodigies.

Ok so There’s been at least one Great War/revolution. Maybe there was some catastrophic universe-spanning apocalypse. Maybe somewhere the old universe suddenly entered a state of false vacuum decay and humanity was far enough away from the point of origin that it had time to prepare and preserve or escape to a different plane. Even though this is billions of years in the future their technology might be rudimentary. Was all of history between then and now erased in between?

the reason i'm saying all this is that (i'm going to try to make my point again but briefer this time). sometimes feels like this is taking place 10000 years in the future instead of billions or trillions. what i'm wondering is if this is just a function of storytelling (references we understand are #crucial to delivering #themes and also way more fun to read). OR if we're dealing with a universe different than our own (not meant to model our timeline in the first place), OR if the apocalypse happened relatively "soon" after our current "history" today. does that make sense?

It's the 28th of April 1409, at 5:06, and 53 seconds. Satisfied? ⬇️ I feel like this is a surprise tool that will help us later

Oh okay I got to the section describing transpositioning and teleporting. They’re folding spacetime not atomizing. thank gawdddd The idea of getting vaporized when teleporting scares me soooo much. If we ever invented teleporting and it was like that I would be a staunch no-teleporter-EVER. No way in hell am I ship of theseusing myself and letting my little freak clones run around and kill themselves every time they want to travel. To be honest I already sometimes get metaphysically scared that any temporary loss of consciousness kills you as you exist. Like not to the level where if I sleep or go under I die and a new me takes my place (on a conscience level) every morning, but I’ve gotten close to that. You know. Like on a Kinsey scale of this I’m like a 4.5

Distinction treatment? Ooooh Do most babies look the same as babies? (like more than they already do) Are the lower echelons of this city (wealth inequality still exists but im guessing true poverty no longer does?) all people who look like siblings or twins? does future plastic surgery make you taller yet

I keep thinking like. “Who of the cast could possibly be the one getting murdered?” And part of me is hoping it’s utsushikome (not permanently obvies). Because I want this story to pull a new vegas. solving a friend’s or lover’s death is out. solving your own murder mystery has pastiche. it’s fun. it’s fueled by spite, not even necessarily a will to live. its fun vibes. Also a few of the order members have decided her grandpa had BAD VIBES. and they literallyyyy JFKed him. So. Um. Time to keep up the family tradition lesbian. get shot in the head

actually I’m still kind of hung up on that grandfather (sort of) thing from the first chapter. Maybe they’re genetically related but not granddaughter-grandfather in the traditional sense. Maybe the order is trying to wipe out a genetic line or inherent ability that su and granddad have, or permanently remove some knowledge/mission he was undertaking prior to the JFKing.

Also why did granddad get shot when he was on deaths door with dementia anyway? To make a statement? To make a point towards other members of the order? Did he commission it? “Would it be funny if I fucked up my granddaughter or what”

One should never underestimate the power of aesthetics, Su," Kamrusepa interjected. "Man is a creature that is incredibly responsive to his environment. Reinforce a story in the world that surrounds him, and he'll stay more focused on following the script. ⬇️ (15)This is the first time she’s said something that didn’t piss me off immediately

Using the epic of gilgamesh is interesting considering the story’s title. They’re looking for that flower under the sea that doesn’t actually exist, but that isn’t to say they can’t just create one, right? what am i saying

Soon, we came to the edge of the bioenclosure and spotted one of the tunnels that Linos had described, wrought out of stone and thick glass. The center of the passageway was sealed by a heavy, rectangular bronze wall, with a rounded doorway in the center. To the left, built into the wall, was a lever marked "RELEASE SEAL" in large, engraved lettering.

"Suppose it's pretty obvious what we're supposed to do here," Theodoros remarked. ⬇️ THATS THE INTERNAL DEPRESSURIZATION VALVE THEODOROS CHAN

Bardiya had always had the uncanny ability - or maybe it was a curse - of not seeming to respond to social divides at all in his interactions with others. Whether it was age, wealth, Party, sex or experience, he hopped right over that stuff like it was a puddle. Sometimes this worked in his favor, though it could also cause problems. The amount of occasions I could recall where he'd got on to the bad side of a prominent scholar or academy patron because he didn't 'show enough respect' was well into the double digits. Kamrusepa had impressed on us an unofficial command to keep him contained at any social functions that involved our class. ⬇️ On the contrary I would think? If I was a successful academic I’d find reactions like Kamurespa’s fawning overwhelming to constantly encounter. I’d much rather talk to people like Bardiya.

Ok re: the fight su has with her milfy mentor in the arboretum. the fact that if two people are connected by an open wound they register as one person and that this circumstantial can be used in an act of violence towards one another is maybe the hottest thing I’ve ever read. Who said that

Bardiya is the only bitch in this house that I like so far. I don't presently like Su but I get the feeling she'll quickly become my favorite character once I get more of her deal. I also enjoy Su’s milfy mentor (Neferuaten) too but something is sus about her. Why are you kissing a young woman you’ve tutored since young adulthood on the mouth. (Unless that’s a platonic gesture in this setting. In which case excuse my presumption.)

it was not a platonic gesture in this setting

"But Bardiya isn't some innocent party. He was a soldier, and he and his friends were shooting at the bloody grand alliance army. Frankly, they're lucky they even tried something non-fatal to begin with." ⬇️ God Kam fucking SUCKS

UTSUSHIKOME YOU FORGOT TO STOP BY THEODOROS CHAN’S ROOM AFTER THE DINNER!!!!! UTSUSHIKOMEEEEEEEEE

girl SUCKS at completing quests within the established scenario, ASKED TO LEAVE THE TIMELOOP

Raises my hand. I have a question. Is Su really Su. Getting a lot of body imposter vibes from these journal entries she's doing.

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

I DID IT!!!! I FINALLY FECKING DID IT!!!!! I REWATCHED THE ENTIRE LOTR TRILOGY!!! and do i EVER have some tHOUHGTS hdosidhsaodi below the cut ✨✨✨

FIRST THINGS FIRST:

was it as good as i remembered??

short answer: yes!!!!!! long answer: oh my gfucijing go d soj shjues us god mother of shitw yEes yes yseeeessss 😭😭😭 (baby birb had better taste than present birb but don't tell anyone i said so 👀)

there are loads of things i missed before, as well as things i didn't understand, but i understand them now :'D it always gave me that wriggly weird feeling in my chest even as a kid, just like 'lilo & stitch' or the song 'reflection' from mulan, but i didn't know WHY. turns out, these things touched my heart and it scared me, bc emotions have always scared me. but ive learnt to appreciate them as well. not all tears are an evil. i know what gandalf meant now :'D

does it hold up????

in my opinion, it does!!!! some of the cgi may look a bit wonky to modern eyes, but for the most part it's totally fine, if not better looking than some more.....recent films 👀 i've never been a great fan of slow-motion, but it's used mostly effectively here, to enhance the drama as opposed to taking up space (sure the feckers are long enough without it anyway 🤣) the core message of the film is beautiful and timeless. there is hope and goodness and love in our world, and it's worth every ounce of courage in our hearts!! it's as true today as it was when the film was made!! as true as it was when jrr tolkien wrote his stories!! if i believe in anything at all (much as i often profess i don't) it's only that our world is worth fighting for.

are u still after shipping aragorn and legolas??

YEAH. IM BASIC SO WHAT??? i JUST LIKE IT OK. I JUST. LIKE IT ;A;

will u be making more bad jokes now??

OF COURSE I WILL!! do u even KNOW me it's like u don't even KNOW me wtf. there's just a lot this time so. OK HERE GOES 💪😤

i can't believe smeagol was always just. like that lol. baby birb did not realise it was the same character as gollum btw. baby birb was. silly 👀

THE CAIN INSTINCT PREVAILS ONCE MORE!!!

'wake up, sleepies' is how i greet my cats in the morning btw

lol merry and pippin look high as FECK. baby birb didn't understand that lmao, i thought they were just tired 🤣

well, at least the gang are back together!! (mostly ;A;) merry & pippin dancing on tables, eowyn bringing aragorn a drink....good for them :'D

also!! nice pyjamas, lads!!! they all look so cute omg ;A;

THE ORB!!!! that's great, we here on tumblr love orbs, this is-----oh shit is he dead?? *SHOVES MERRY*

omg when aragorn grabs the orb and falls over and then legolas grabbed him 👀👀👀 I JUST WANT THEM TO KISS OK

the third act break up btwn merry and pippin is so sad 😔

aaAAH!! A CHILD!!!!! D: scary!! ;A;

every time elrond says 'there's nothing for u here' i keep hearing 'this is a DECENT town and a LOCAL shop!! there's nothing for U here!!!' lmao 🤣

the king's hall at minas tirith could use a few throw rugs or sth tbh, maybe a couple paintings. bit sparse in there really :P

right i'll just say it: the witch-king's fell beast's head looks like a di--

YAAAS PIPPIN LET'S DO SOME ARSON!! :D

aragorn's arm-flail run is back and it sparks so much joy i love him i love him i love hi

i've counted THREE (3) BLATANT WILHELM SCREAMS across these films!!! one in ttt, and TWO in rotk!!! incredible

i can't believe denethor says 'yeah i wish u died instead of ur brother. rip i guess' 😐 TO HIS FUCKING FACE!!! evil. faramir's gonna remember that FOREVER. u got to be careful what u say to ur kids bc even if they don't bring it up again, they will never ever forget. my dad called me 'useless' once when i was 15 and i still think about it sometimes. DO NOT SAY WEIRD SHIT TO UR KIDS. IM BEGGING U ;A;

despite denethor's A+ parenting, faramir is a nice guy, totally willing to lead his men on a death march to a fight they can't possibly win, throwing away their lives (and their horses) on an impossible task for the futile hope of making his father love him. rip 😔

NICE SINGING PIP!!! reminds me of irish sean-nós singing, traditional music from ireland ;A; (here's an example :D)

ngl watching denethor eat is like watching the Dinner Scene from texas chainsaw 1974 👀

OH LOOK DAD'S HERE!! hi dad!! thanks for not giving us any facial expression as a hint to what dad wanted, theoden, ur so. helpful ._.

'hey so listen ur gf is dying and since she's my daughter that means i have to make sure U don't die so. here.' *SWORDGASM*

actually that sword was baby birb's fav bits. baby birb LOVED swords ;A;

THE WORST BIT. eowyn tries to confess her feelings and aragorn rejecting her is SO PAINFUL AND AWKWARD AAA ;A;

BEEG DRUMMERS IN THE ORC ARMY!!!! and SIEGE MACHINES!!

legolas squinting at the ghost like 'this guy SUS'

aragorn's 'u WILL suffer me 😠'

it never occurred to me when i was a kid, but the gang are doing a bit of fucking. NECROMANCY here aren't they??? like???

wait who tf is iorlas

OH is it that hot blond??? NICE. i like him >:3c

being a wizard is cool bc u can cast spells OR if ur gandalf u can use the staff to wHACK DENETHOR OVER THE HEAD!!!! he's got a shillelagh and i'm glad of it 😌 (baby birb used to listen to da's political music and one of the songs had a line about being 'whacked with a sprig of shillelagh' which i got a kick out of 🤣)

'we should TAKE the broken city pieces and THROW IT AT THE ORCS!!!' :D (read it like the spongebob meme pls)

'GROND! GROND! GROND!' ('grond' refers to the biggest door-knocker EVER)

gollum u need to stop fat-shaming sam, ur being #problematic and they're gonna cancel u 😩

'CRUMBS ON ITS JACKETSES' lol silly that's a CLOAK!!

OH FECK FRODO'S ALLERGIC TO SPIDER BITES!! ;A;

it might actually be easier to carry him in that cocoon

'don't go where i can't follow' FUCKING KILL ME 😭

[women screaming]

i still don't know what an eored is. or WHY i don't know. why

denethor re-enacts 'flashdance' lol (except he intends to burn himself and his son alive)

OH SHIT THE MAD MAX COSPLAYERS ARE HERE

oh no!! uncle's horse!!! (oh and uncle, oh no!)

HERE IT IS. THE LINE WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR. I AM NO MAN!!! rip uncle tho lol.

can't believe he really pulled the 'u should smile more, ur so pretty when u smile' rubbish before 😒

WOW we should have hired ghosts AGES ago, they can go thru walls and everything!!! O_O

MERRY AND PIPPIN ARE BACK TOGETHER!!! yay~

sam is SUCH a badass, look at him go!! 'AND THAT'S FOR MY OLD GAFFER!!!' adding to his kill count with tears in his eyes :'D

sauron moving his beam around like 'EYE SEE U!! EYE AM LOOKING UPON U!!!'

aw feck frodo's doing the jesus thing where he falls down a few times but has to get back up ;A;

'a day may come when i stop memeing on this line....BUT IT IS NOT THIS DAY!!!!!'

lol they're bullying gollum, u love to see it 🤣

SAM STOP BEING PERFECT FOR FIVE SECONDS CHALLENGE LEVEL: IMPOSSIBLE

DO IT KING!! TOSS THAT SHIT!!!!

'what are u waiting for?!' 'i've got to give it a chance to defeat me, it's only sportsmanlike, sam!!!'

LEGOLAS'S FACE. WHEN ARAGORN FALLS DOWN. u can see his mouth go like 'ARAGORN' but it's slow-mo and silent ;A; he just starts shoving ppl out his way to get to him hdoasdiasadisj im. gay

AND THEN THE VOLCANO. and pippin sobbing 'FRODO!!!!' ;A;

god all this lava and frodo and sam haven't got any shoes smh

'uhgh i had an awful dream where my finger got chomped off by this freakish little----OH HAI GANDALF!!!!'

his friends are so happy to see him, they are all so happy omg ;A; THE SHIRE THEME STARTS PLAYING WHEN SAM ;A;

tbh sam and frodo could have made out at ANY point and it would have been less gay than. whatever tf had been going on btwn them the entire trilogy 👀

aragorn singing all elfy adn handsome an di love him i love him i lo

legolas all done up as well, they do a mutual shoulder clasp and he's all demure they look like a fecking WEDDING ok they are getting married ;A;

lol arwen looking out from behind the banner like 'PEEK A BOO!!' always sends me 🤣

(another thing that always sends me: legolas and gimli keeping track of their kill count lmao 🤣)

AND THEN ARAGORN DOES A BIG SMOOCH ON HER IN FRONT OF EVERYONE??? INCLUDING HER DAD????? 😳

'my friends, u bow to no one' SIR UR FRIENDS ARE TERRIFIED (except pippin, he's ok with attention 😌)

THE LADS GO HOME!! SAM GETS THE GIRL!!! THERE'S A WEDDING!!! then the sad bit ._.

side note: galadriel is low-key terrifying and i love her for it. she is such a FREAK, idek how to explain it or why i think so but i just. do 👀 she talks and there's a reverb on her voice, she smiles but it doesn't reach her eyes!!!!! SCARY 👀

'not all tears are an evil' fuck u gandalf stop stabbing me in the heart over and over, ur bullying me ;A;

WOW NICE JOB NOT PREPARING UR FRIENDS FOR UR DEPARTURE AT ALL FRODO!!!! jfc u could have at least TOLD THEM, this is FAR more traumatic and shocking!!! >:V

awww he and gandalf hold hands tho omg 🥺

THEY'RE ALL CRYING AND IM CRYING AND IM UPSET AND BABY BIRB LEFT THE ROOM ALREADY ;A;

and then they SAILED OFF INTO THE SUNSET!! for some reason. (oh right!! great war allegory 😔)

TINY BABBY HOBBITS!!!

THE END!!

[evan-witch]

Lilith Clawthorn x gn.reader (part 2)

Y/N pov.:

It started to get dark, so Ms. Clawthorn told me to go upstairs with her. Carefully she opened the door to what i was assuming to be her room. We entered and i looked around. There were books everywhere and plants of every kind. Suddenly I flinched at the sound of her closing the door behind me. “Oh, sorry. If you don’t feel comfortable i can ope-“ I shook my head. I don’t want anyone else to enter the room when im sleeping. I don’t trust the others yet. Especially the white haired one. I looked around the room again and saw a perfect place to sleep. About 30 inches under the ceiling there was a bar, probably supporting the walls, wide enough to sleep in. I looked at her and smiled. The bar was about 6 foot above the ground and almost directly above her bed. “You wanna sleep up there don’t you?”, she asked while looking at the ceiling with a concerned look on her face. I nodded eagerly. “Well how du you wanna get up and down? We don’t really have any ladders here.” I turned around and pointed at my back. “You back is very messed up. I don’t think you should transform in you state.” I pointed out the window. It was night and the stars were shining bright. “It doesn’t affect your back if you transform during the night?” I nodded. “Ok i understand. But how will you get down in the morning?” I pointed at the bed. “You wanna jump on my bed every morning? Really? What if I’m still asleep when you wake up?” I looked at my wrist as if i had a wristwatch. “ok this is just turning into charade at this point…. You…..wait? Till i wake up?” I nodded. “Ok take the bar. Just keep in mind, if you don’t want to talk that’s fine. But the others don’t even come near my room. I am here. You don’t have to be scared anymore. Not of me, not of them, not of anyone or anything.” I paused and looked to the ground. “Thank you”, i mumbled before letting my wings appear and jumping up on the bar. I nuzzled into my wings while she blew out the last candle. “Good night”, she mumbled when she got in bed. “Good night, Ms. Clawthorn.” I responded before slowly drifting away.

I woke up to a pair of plack eyes staring into my soul. “HOOT HOOT GOOD MORNING!” “HOLY SHIT! SWEET MOTHER OF TITAN-“

i screamed before falling backwards down and landing next to Ms. Clawthorn. I crawled behind her and shook her awake. “What…. Whats wrong?”, she mumbled still half asleep. “THE WORM WANTS TO KILL ME I SWEAR!” She sat up and blinked a few times before looking at the owl like worm. “Hooty…. Wtf…i love you but for fucks sake. It’s 7am.” “I just wanted to say good morning, yeeesh but it seems like some people are in a bad mood today. You no fun, lulu. Call me if you start appreciating a friend trying to say good morning,” he said before leaving dramatically through the window. “Alright, i correct my statement from yesterday. Nobody even goes near my room except hooty. He is… the house. I know it’s freaky but i swera he is harmless. Weird and kinda scary but mostly harmless.” I stared at her, still terrified. “I’ll talk to him later…” “thank you”, i said, still terrified. “Oh and you can call me Lilith. Calling me Ms. clawthorn makes me feel older than i already am.” She chuckled. Her smile was calming.

We ate breakfast, i started cleaning the house, ate lunch, finished cleaning the house, ate dinner, went outside to work in the garden and went inside as soon as the sun went down. It felt good to do things again. Tomorrow i would plant a few vegetables. Maybe even a few fruits. I continued to think about tomorrow while walking up the stairs. I knocked on Lilith’s door. She told me to come in and sit down on the bed. Id did as told. “I’m going to have to take a look at your wound again.” I took off my shirt and hugged my knees again. “It looks a lot better now. I’ll be done in no time don’t worry.” I smiled. Her soft hand stroked my back every once in a while. I looked at her face in the reflection of the window. She looked so concentrated it made me smile even more. The candle next to her threw funny shadows on her face. I stared at her, trying to memorise every detail in her face. Her eyes met mine as she looked up. She gave me a soft smile. “I’m done now. You should go to sleep early. It has been a long day.” I nodded, put on my shirt and made my way up. “Good night, Lilith.” “Good night, Y/N”, Lilith said. I could still feel the warmth of her hand on my back while i hugged myself with my wings till i fell asleep. I think this might feel like home someday.

Weeks passed and my wounds are almost completely healed. I often cook for the family, with the ingredients from the garden i had taken care off. I made myself a weighted blanked to help me with the nightmares that recently started nagging me. Lilith even teached me how to knit a plush owl. But tonight i wanted to ask Lilith something special. My wings were strong and could lift twice her weight, so there was something i wanted to try. When we sat on the bed and she was finished and i had to put on my shirt i asked her. “Lilith?” “Yes?“ “Do you want to fly with me tonight?” She chuckled. “Fly with you? I would love to, but Eda, Luz and King took my staff for one of their missions. They wont be home for at least another week.” “I know. But that’s not what i meant. Have you ever rode on a nylems back before?”, i asked carefully. Her cheeks turned red an she looked down. “I-i haven’t. Are you suggesting that-? O-oh I’m not sure. I’m not very light and you back isn’t f-fully healed.” This was the first time i heard her stutter. “My back is fine and don’t worry about your weight. My wings work with magic, not with strength. I promise I’ll be careful.” She looked at me with wide eyes. “But why? If you still want to repay me or anything i already told you don’t have to.” “No, it’s nothing like that. I want to do this. It’s something I’ve been wanting for…..a while now. So….so what do you say?” She gave me a warm smile. “How could i say no.” My face lightened up too. I immediately transformed and stretched my long wings. “I’m warming up a little before we start, I’m guessing you want to take some stuff with you? Now would be the right time to do so.” She jumped up and grabbed her bag before running through the whole house. I chuckled and went outside. I started stretching and flying a few rounds around the house. I landed as soon as i saw Lilith leaving the house. “Are you ready to fly like never before?”

[myownprivatcidaho]

oKAYYYYYYY ok. ok .

so that guy in my class this semester id been talking to. basically it was like a month ago we got carried away in his car after 8 days of talking and hanging out and basically after an hour of being in his car with the windows all fogged up he said he thinks i deserve honesty and doesnt want me to get hurt so he told me last semester there was a girl he liked who led him on and flirted and ended up having a boyfriend and he was still hung up on her and said he really just wanted to keep it casual and wasnt open to commitment and im REALLY really glad he was just honest with me. and we talked it out and he was really respectful and understanding when i (pretty adamantly at the time) said i just wanted to be friends and needed some space (like. JESUS he handled it so well im still kind of taken aback and honestly embarrased for ever having liked that ginger who led me on for a semester before going “oh yeah i hope i didnt like totally crush you with that or something” when i found out the ginger was seeing someone else lol, lmao). 

so the last month ive just been friends with this guy from my class and our friendship is really really good and we get along and hes super duper funny and i really appreciate and respect him and he respects me yk. 

but RECENTLY. so ive been giving him rides back to his place in my car bc  weve spent a few evenings studying in the library, and it kind of got to the point we’d study just long enough that his last bus would just ~happen~ to leave and i, being a helpful friend, would just ~happen~ to offer to drive him back to his place

and thats been all fine and good but last wednesday he told me he really appreciated the rides and about an octave higher than i thought i would i replied “yeahhhhh ofc :’3” and he said “you know thats the only reason i stayed at the library, to” then he sorta backed off and said “to. to take advantage of the free rides” and i was like “omg youre exploiting the free labor of women” but after he got out of my car i giggled on and off like a schoolgirl possessed the entire drive back to my place. i kinda feel like hes testing the waters to see if im open to this conversation coming back up. which i AM ftr. a month ago we both didnt have those sort of feelings for each other but atp i thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink im rlly starting to fall for him and hes really looking at me with this Glow in his eyes and its driving me nuts.not to mention the good morning texts every morning jesus CHRIST

ANYWAYS so here we are again at the library this evening and jesus CHRIST hes wearing this funky patterned button up and when he walked into class today my first thought was jesus christ i WANT him. and within the next hour we’re gonna go back to my car so i can give him a ride back and ive just perchance parked a couple blocks further down so that i get to spend more time walking and talking with him because its honestly my favorite part of the day. anyways. hes sitting across from me and i feel like the ice is really melted between us again and im ovulating and shoot me i WANT him and i think we’re on the same page.