#brb dying of victorian novel disease lmaooo 🤣🤣🤣

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

I DID IT!!!! I FINALLY FECKING DID IT!!!!! I REWATCHED THE ENTIRE LOTR TRILOGY!!! and do i EVER have some tHOUHGTS hdosidhsaodi below the cut ✨✨✨

FIRST THINGS FIRST:

was it as good as i remembered??

short answer: yes!!!!!! long answer: oh my gfucijing go d soj shjues us god mother of shitw yEes yes yseeeessss 😭😭😭 (baby birb had better taste than present birb but don't tell anyone i said so 👀)

there are loads of things i missed before, as well as things i didn't understand, but i understand them now :'D it always gave me that wriggly weird feeling in my chest even as a kid, just like 'lilo & stitch' or the song 'reflection' from mulan, but i didn't know WHY. turns out, these things touched my heart and it scared me, bc emotions have always scared me. but ive learnt to appreciate them as well. not all tears are an evil. i know what gandalf meant now :'D

does it hold up????

in my opinion, it does!!!! some of the cgi may look a bit wonky to modern eyes, but for the most part it's totally fine, if not better looking than some more.....recent films 👀 i've never been a great fan of slow-motion, but it's used mostly effectively here, to enhance the drama as opposed to taking up space (sure the feckers are long enough without it anyway 🤣) the core message of the film is beautiful and timeless. there is hope and goodness and love in our world, and it's worth every ounce of courage in our hearts!! it's as true today as it was when the film was made!! as true as it was when jrr tolkien wrote his stories!! if i believe in anything at all (much as i often profess i don't) it's only that our world is worth fighting for.

are u still after shipping aragorn and legolas??

YEAH. IM BASIC SO WHAT??? i JUST LIKE IT OK. I JUST. LIKE IT ;A;

will u be making more bad jokes now??

OF COURSE I WILL!! do u even KNOW me it's like u don't even KNOW me wtf. there's just a lot this time so. OK HERE GOES 💪😤

i can't believe smeagol was always just. like that lol. baby birb did not realise it was the same character as gollum btw. baby birb was. silly 👀

THE CAIN INSTINCT PREVAILS ONCE MORE!!!

'wake up, sleepies' is how i greet my cats in the morning btw

lol merry and pippin look high as FECK. baby birb didn't understand that lmao, i thought they were just tired 🤣

well, at least the gang are back together!! (mostly ;A;) merry & pippin dancing on tables, eowyn bringing aragorn a drink....good for them :'D

also!! nice pyjamas, lads!!! they all look so cute omg ;A;

THE ORB!!!! that's great, we here on tumblr love orbs, this is-----oh shit is he dead?? *SHOVES MERRY*

omg when aragorn grabs the orb and falls over and then legolas grabbed him 👀👀👀 I JUST WANT THEM TO KISS OK

the third act break up btwn merry and pippin is so sad 😔

aaAAH!! A CHILD!!!!! D: scary!! ;A;

every time elrond says 'there's nothing for u here' i keep hearing 'this is a DECENT town and a LOCAL shop!! there's nothing for U here!!!' lmao 🤣

the king's hall at minas tirith could use a few throw rugs or sth tbh, maybe a couple paintings. bit sparse in there really :P

right i'll just say it: the witch-king's fell beast's head looks like a di--

YAAAS PIPPIN LET'S DO SOME ARSON!! :D

aragorn's arm-flail run is back and it sparks so much joy i love him i love him i love hi

i've counted THREE (3) BLATANT WILHELM SCREAMS across these films!!! one in ttt, and TWO in rotk!!! incredible

i can't believe denethor says 'yeah i wish u died instead of ur brother. rip i guess' 😐 TO HIS FUCKING FACE!!! evil. faramir's gonna remember that FOREVER. u got to be careful what u say to ur kids bc even if they don't bring it up again, they will never ever forget. my dad called me 'useless' once when i was 15 and i still think about it sometimes. DO NOT SAY WEIRD SHIT TO UR KIDS. IM BEGGING U ;A;

despite denethor's A+ parenting, faramir is a nice guy, totally willing to lead his men on a death march to a fight they can't possibly win, throwing away their lives (and their horses) on an impossible task for the futile hope of making his father love him. rip 😔

NICE SINGING PIP!!! reminds me of irish sean-nós singing, traditional music from ireland ;A; (here's an example :D)

ngl watching denethor eat is like watching the Dinner Scene from texas chainsaw 1974 👀

OH LOOK DAD'S HERE!! hi dad!! thanks for not giving us any facial expression as a hint to what dad wanted, theoden, ur so. helpful ._.

'hey so listen ur gf is dying and since she's my daughter that means i have to make sure U don't die so. here.' *SWORDGASM*

actually that sword was baby birb's fav bits. baby birb LOVED swords ;A;

THE WORST BIT. eowyn tries to confess her feelings and aragorn rejecting her is SO PAINFUL AND AWKWARD AAA ;A;

BEEG DRUMMERS IN THE ORC ARMY!!!! and SIEGE MACHINES!!

legolas squinting at the ghost like 'this guy SUS'

aragorn's 'u WILL suffer me 😠'

it never occurred to me when i was a kid, but the gang are doing a bit of fucking. NECROMANCY here aren't they??? like???

wait who tf is iorlas

OH is it that hot blond??? NICE. i like him >:3c

being a wizard is cool bc u can cast spells OR if ur gandalf u can use the staff to wHACK DENETHOR OVER THE HEAD!!!! he's got a shillelagh and i'm glad of it 😌 (baby birb used to listen to da's political music and one of the songs had a line about being 'whacked with a sprig of shillelagh' which i got a kick out of 🤣)

'we should TAKE the broken city pieces and THROW IT AT THE ORCS!!!' :D (read it like the spongebob meme pls)

'GROND! GROND! GROND!' ('grond' refers to the biggest door-knocker EVER)

gollum u need to stop fat-shaming sam, ur being #problematic and they're gonna cancel u 😩

'CRUMBS ON ITS JACKETSES' lol silly that's a CLOAK!!

OH FECK FRODO'S ALLERGIC TO SPIDER BITES!! ;A;

it might actually be easier to carry him in that cocoon

'don't go where i can't follow' FUCKING KILL ME 😭

[women screaming]

i still don't know what an eored is. or WHY i don't know. why

denethor re-enacts 'flashdance' lol (except he intends to burn himself and his son alive)

OH SHIT THE MAD MAX COSPLAYERS ARE HERE

oh no!! uncle's horse!!! (oh and uncle, oh no!)

HERE IT IS. THE LINE WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR. I AM NO MAN!!! rip uncle tho lol.

can't believe he really pulled the 'u should smile more, ur so pretty when u smile' rubbish before 😒

WOW we should have hired ghosts AGES ago, they can go thru walls and everything!!! O_O

MERRY AND PIPPIN ARE BACK TOGETHER!!! yay~

sam is SUCH a badass, look at him go!! 'AND THAT'S FOR MY OLD GAFFER!!!' adding to his kill count with tears in his eyes :'D

sauron moving his beam around like 'EYE SEE U!! EYE AM LOOKING UPON U!!!'

aw feck frodo's doing the jesus thing where he falls down a few times but has to get back up ;A;

'a day may come when i stop memeing on this line....BUT IT IS NOT THIS DAY!!!!!'

lol they're bullying gollum, u love to see it 🤣

SAM STOP BEING PERFECT FOR FIVE SECONDS CHALLENGE LEVEL: IMPOSSIBLE

DO IT KING!! TOSS THAT SHIT!!!!

'what are u waiting for?!' 'i've got to give it a chance to defeat me, it's only sportsmanlike, sam!!!'

LEGOLAS'S FACE. WHEN ARAGORN FALLS DOWN. u can see his mouth go like 'ARAGORN' but it's slow-mo and silent ;A; he just starts shoving ppl out his way to get to him hdoasdiasadisj im. gay

AND THEN THE VOLCANO. and pippin sobbing 'FRODO!!!!' ;A;

god all this lava and frodo and sam haven't got any shoes smh

'uhgh i had an awful dream where my finger got chomped off by this freakish little----OH HAI GANDALF!!!!'

his friends are so happy to see him, they are all so happy omg ;A; THE SHIRE THEME STARTS PLAYING WHEN SAM ;A;

tbh sam and frodo could have made out at ANY point and it would have been less gay than. whatever tf had been going on btwn them the entire trilogy 👀

aragorn singing all elfy adn handsome an di love him i love him i lo

legolas all done up as well, they do a mutual shoulder clasp and he's all demure they look like a fecking WEDDING ok they are getting married ;A;

lol arwen looking out from behind the banner like 'PEEK A BOO!!' always sends me 🤣

(another thing that always sends me: legolas and gimli keeping track of their kill count lmao 🤣)

AND THEN ARAGORN DOES A BIG SMOOCH ON HER IN FRONT OF EVERYONE??? INCLUDING HER DAD????? 😳

'my friends, u bow to no one' SIR UR FRIENDS ARE TERRIFIED (except pippin, he's ok with attention 😌)

THE LADS GO HOME!! SAM GETS THE GIRL!!! THERE'S A WEDDING!!! then the sad bit ._.

side note: galadriel is low-key terrifying and i love her for it. she is such a FREAK, idek how to explain it or why i think so but i just. do 👀 she talks and there's a reverb on her voice, she smiles but it doesn't reach her eyes!!!!! SCARY 👀

'not all tears are an evil' fuck u gandalf stop stabbing me in the heart over and over, ur bullying me ;A;

WOW NICE JOB NOT PREPARING UR FRIENDS FOR UR DEPARTURE AT ALL FRODO!!!! jfc u could have at least TOLD THEM, this is FAR more traumatic and shocking!!! >:V

awww he and gandalf hold hands tho omg 🥺

THEY'RE ALL CRYING AND IM CRYING AND IM UPSET AND BABY BIRB LEFT THE ROOM ALREADY ;A;

and then they SAILED OFF INTO THE SUNSET!! for some reason. (oh right!! great war allegory 😔)

TINY BABBY HOBBITS!!!

THE END!!