#every jewish kid ever knows that feeling

[andi-o-geyser]

are they playing dreidel with presents and dice??

yes they are

and on brand, laura is winning dnd present dreidel

[maidservant-hecubus]

My father is an Ashkenazi Jew. His parents were first generation Americans. Their parents escaped the pogroms in Russia and Ukraine and came to find their American dream. They fought in wars and opened businesses and assimilated and my generation barely has a few words of Yiddish between us. My mother is as much of a WASP as it gets. American Revolutionaries and Signers and some household name civil war feature players. Not old money, but old America and undoubtedly white. I'm patrilineal. Not a Jew to a lot of Jews. Not a Jew to a lot of my Jewish family. Even though i was raised Jewish. Even though I look like my father. Even though i got enough of something in my DNA to get asked "What are you?" more often than not. More often than I'm just accepted at face value as "white". When i was little we lived in an Irish Catholic neighborhood. Like the 5-10 kids in every family sort of Irish catholic neighborhood. The kids calling me a christ killer and refusing to play with me because they heard it from their parents sort of irish catholic neighborhood. For some reason my parents tried to send me to the catholic school down the street. I lasted less than a week because i didn't understand their rituals and their language and they found out my father was a Jew and they couldn't have a christ killer in their midst. I was just sad i didn't get to wear the cute plaid skirt anymore. So i went to the public school and my well meaning shiksa mother who never converted but learned the Chanukah prayers and helped cook Seder dinners came to the school to teach the class about Chanukah. She taught them songs and all the kids got dreidels and had so much fun spinning the top for chocolate coins. It was nice to feel normal. A few weeks later a boy in a higher grade attacked me on the way to the bus and smashed my art project (we had made pig noses from solo cups to celebrate reading charlotte's web) into my face and called me a filthy jew. I didn't understand, i was more upset to lose the project i was so proud of. Other things happened. Things I wont talk about because putting them in context would doxx me. But a million reminders that i wasn't one of them. I wasn't welcome because i was Jewish. My parents divorced. My mother left. Far away so I'd only see her a handful of times growing up. And I went to live with my Dad in a city that seemed like it was overflowing with Jews. Everyone knew my holidays! In public school the teachers looked like my family and had familiar sounding names. We had the high holy days off just like christmas or easter. We sang Chanukah songs in the winter recital and nobody's mom had to come teach them to the class. Finally I belonged! My friends and cousins started planning for their b mitzvah celebrations and i asked for my own. I asked to go to hebrew school so i could be more like the people i belonged with and celebrate the things i loved about myself and them. "But you're not jewish." My father would say. This was news to me. The christ killer. The filthy jew. But a 10 year old has little power over their lives. So i didn't go. I didn't have a bat mitzva while my cousins had theirs. It was okay because i still belonged more than i ever had. But i was still jewish enough to keep the holidays and pray and fast and get sent with a box of matzo to my WASP grandmothers for easter, and have matzo packed in my lunch to eat in AP algebra in 7th grade and get asked if I'm a "Yid" by the teacher. And still to this day not know if it was endearment or insult but by then I knew even in this magical city being a Jew wasn't always safe. in highschool I tried to take hebrew lessons with a friend in a similar situation as me. She was also hungry to reconnect. I don't remember why the classes or the friendship fell through, but they did. My next "friend", a goy raised catholic from another neighborhood, liked to accuse me of being money driven when i picked up a penny on the sidewalk or tried to ask who was going to pay for the zine's she wanted to publish.

 "What are you?" I'd get asked a lot on the street by curious strangers, "Where are you from?" "Are you Italian?" Always Italian. I never really understood that, but its become code in my head for "You look like you're white but something about you is very not white and I just can't place it, so Italian seems safe and polite." I'm not here to unpack the Italian part of all that. I don't even know what I'm unpacking for myself by writing this except I've been sick for days and I'm so tired and this is all that my foggy brain can wrap itself around. Later I'm an adult and on my own and getting bloodwork done. The Nurse is a black woman and so sweet to me. She can tell I'm nervous about the needles because I've already stumbled through my apologies for my herd to find veins. So she distracts me with small talk. Where do i live? I tell her. She looks worried for me. Tells me that it used to be a nice neighborhood before white people took it over and she warns me like she's my own mother to be careful because they aren't safe. I doublecheck the skin she's putting a needle into. Whatever she sees isn't white. I love her for it. For a moment I belong there with her. She doesn't ask what I am or where i'm from, but she knows what i'm not. I'm the only one keeping the holidays with my family. We celebrate Passover because I go home to my fathers and cook the dinner and print out the Haggadah and lead the Seder to the tune of my drunk catholic stepmother eating my food and telling me i'll never be a jew. She's more of a jew than I'll ever be because she grew up in a jewish neighborhood and her friends were all jews and she married a jew and i was just playing pretend. I stopped going home for holidays and they stopped observing anything except Christmas. I marry a goy. "Is he a jew?" is the first thing my father asks and he's disappointed when i say no. He's abusive, i run. I end up living in the attic of this older old money WASP couple who need a live in house sitter. They're pillars of their church and they know someone from the WASP side of my family very well and its a funny coincidence and they think i belong there. I know from their divest from Israel bumper stickers that i don't. Then they find out I consider myself Jewish and i see the light in their eyes die and its replaced by something hard and disappointed. Now, while writing this, i can laugh about being the jew in someone's attic. But then, it was only a few months after that they started coming up with excuses for why I needed to move out. I did, their excuses never manifested into reality. I got married again. A jew this time! a Jewish medical professional liek grandma always wanted. She's a convert and her ex was a rabbinical student. I think maybe i'm home finally. She has to understand. I'm not Jewish enough for her. We don't keep holidays at home because i'm not a jew. I cry every year when pesach comes and goes and i haven't recited the plagues or eaten matzo piled high with horseradish. She insists on putting up a christmas tree. She turns abusive. I run.

I'm alone now and no longer in that magic jewish city. I'm far away and surrounded by mega churches and cows and the bagels suck and people quote the bible at me like some call and response that i don't have the cheat code for and I don't belong here at all but i'm finally finally free to light my menorah and recite the plagues and study torah with the group i found here on tumblr who love and accept me even though i'm patrilineal. Oct. 7th happened a few weeks after I moved here. I worry about my family back home and i think no one will look for Jews here among the cows and mega churches, so I can be a safe place for them to run if things get bad again. But i still don't fit in here. I don't look right. The last name I have now is common here and too white for whatever people see when they look in my face. I get interrogated about it a lot. But i learned quickly how to smile and say "have a blessed day". I hide my menorah when maintenance comes to work on my apartment. I flew home last month. Just for a visit. I've never been away from home this far or this long. And I'm the type that covers nerves and anxiety with chattiness, so at the airport i made a for-now-friend while we both waited for the plane to board. She's Puerto Rican. We talk about our lives. Our families. Her twin sister and i go by the same nickname and so we're family now. We talk about food. So much food and how much we love cooking and how important food was at home. "Are you Italian?" she asks as we're stepping through the hatch into the plane. Why always Italian? I wonder for the millionth time in my life. And I freeze up for a moment between fighting my carry-on over the gap and terror that I'm about to see the light go out behind her eyes and i'll lose this for-now friend. "No," i laugh but its not a real laugh and i see the concern in her face as we squeeze through the aisle because she can hear the apprehension in my voice, "I'm Jewish." And something strange happened because her face lit up and she smiled and said "No way?! You guys have GREAT food!"

[thepenguinmaker]

♡ (Platonic) South park x reader - Your best friends! ♡

Aka; what it feels like being best friends with the South Park gang (featuring; the main 4, Butters)

~ Stan

- You were in a similar situation to him: bit of a troubled home life

- You got along with him and his friends ever since preschool, but you were much closer to him than the others

- Maybe it was his (usually) calm attitude or his similarities to you, you don't know

- Even after he moved to a farm, you come over to him to play video games or board games almost every second day

- Whenever he's feeling depressed, you try to comfort him to your best efforts

- His mother is always very glad to see you and to be honest you and Sharon kinda became friends along the years

- Not so much Randy or Shelley, though

~ Kyle

- Same situation as Stan, you knew him since preschool and always liked him

- Being his best friend, you're prone to getting picked on by Cartman

- ^ Very toned down compared to Kyle though (except if you're Jewish too)

- He lets you babysit Ike sometimes when he has basketball practice or something

- You have some kind of matching keychain, either related to Terrance and Phillip or your interest

- You study or do group projects together a lot

- ^ You may or may not tease him and call him a nerd the whole time, but he still enjoys hanging with you

- You still get As on them anyway (mostly thanks to Kyle)

~ Cartman

- OH BOY

- Being Cartman's best friend is a wild ride

- You're not protected from his insults, don't you even dare think so

- You are obligated to agree with him always, and he will get upset if you don't

- Hanging out with Cartman mostly consists of playing the newest video games while he stuffs himself full of cheesy poofs

- His mom really likes you, she's glad her son hasn't had a bad influence on you

- Liane will often make you treats and sometimes even talk to you about your day, she kinda acts like you're her child too

- You need to share all your stuff with him. Would you be surprised if I told you he doesn't share any of his?

~ Kenny

- You're never hanging at his house, nuh-uh

- You don't bully or shame your best friend for being the poor kid in town, but you can't help but agree with Cartman that his house is a dump

- He doesn't mind though, he's really glad he can get away from his parents bickering

- He will sometimes bring over Karen with him too, and you get along great

- You get him gifts and share your stuff with him very often (you get some things for Karen too if you have the money)

- You both like dressing up or creating costumes and playing pretend

- You assist each other in creating your outfits, with Kenny giving you advice and you getting him tools, decorations, fabric, etc.

~ Butters

- You started hanging out with Butters because you took pity on him after all the other kids ripped on him

- Turns out he's actually very nice and you became quick best friends

- He doesn't really like playing video games (except for Hello Kitty Island Adventure), so when you're hanging out you're usually outside or playing with toys

- You have your own villain persona to match Professor Chaos

- You did, infact, go with him to Hawaii that one time

- He'd rather go to your house than his, due to his absurdly strict father

- You lowkey have a whole dance routine set to the Loo Loo Loo song he always sings (not tapdancing though, he still has a lot of trauma from that)

A/N: ok this time I TRIED to get it to look good.. and by that I mean I tried to get gradient text, couldn't figure out HTML then gave up. sorry folks.

[fromgoy2joy]

After a tizzy of a freshman year of college as a jew-ish student, I'm packing boxes for uHaul.

My target-bought menorah went into the first box, along with all ten of my hillel sweatshirts. Pictures I had printed out from Purim are taken down, and neatly put into an envelope to be hung up later. My many books on Jewish culture and religion went into the second one. And so on, and so forth. The hamsa I lost three months ago was under my mini fridge.

As I put away each Jewish item, intermingled with my sweater collection and stuffed animals, I remember both the joy and grief of this year. A hostage necklace goes hand in hand with my Magen David in my jewelry box. A newspaper on a local antisemitic hate crime finds it place next to the belated "Hanukkah gift" my friend got for me in April. It's been so much to carry- both the joy of finding home along with the tangible feeling of uncertainty, fear, and pain.

And finally, I am on the fifth box. In the pocket of two separate winter coats, I found posters of two people-

one, the childhood best friend of a man I know, currently a captive in Gaza. I'd been given that picture, personally, by my friend who kept on referring to this hostage in the past tense. Then, he would continually correct himself, looking even more stricken as he made that mistake of letting what he's resigned to slip out. And I can't imagine- I can't. If the boys I played in the summer streams with were currently being tortured by my worst enemies. If I had no idea if the friend that sent me funny texts and assurances after a bad day was alive or not. The other, Hind Rajab, a Palestinian child killed in the crossfires of war. I found that poster blown off from a fence. It was one out of around sixty so I felt comfortable taking it home with me, just to look at her and remember. Her little face would've blended right in with the kids I helped out with every Monday for the last two semesters. Who could've cried on her last day of kindergarten, because she wouldn't see her teachers again, just like how all the six-year-olds clung to me when they realized it was my last day. In that moment, I laughed, pushing their hands off of me gently because I had to leave for Pesach celebrations. But at the same time, I thought of her and how she didn't get to see Eid.

When I come back to campus in September, with those boxes waiting in my new dorm for me, I will open up that box and see their faces. And I'll feel that sorrow as deeply as I feel it now and the moment I first learnt their stories. But I hope my friend's near-brother will be back home. And I hope - I hope to everything- that Palestinian children just like Hind will be able to go back home, get the help they need, and spend the rest of their childhoods crying over their teacher assistants leaving for summer breaks.

And when I see them in September, I'll think "We've done it. I'm sorry it took so long, I'm sorry it took this pain and nothing ever deserved to happen to you. But we did it."

[catgirl-kaiju]

even more than ever, i'm endorsing that every person who is still an active harry potter fan and is reading the books, watching the movies, playing the games, and/or buying the merch is a monster who will ultimately be condemned by history. i hope you carry a deep personal shame with you until you grow the fuck up and stop supporting media made by the most prominent figure in a global hate movement.

stop putting your comfort and desire to consume above the safety and well-being of trans people, jewish people, and people of color.

i grew up with this series. it's meant a lot to me over my life. my dad used to read the books to me and my sister as kids, and we continued that tradition until the last book. we went and saw the movies together as a family. we went to a book release party dressed as characters from the books. even after i came out as trans, i had a hard time letting go. i kept harry potter merchandise around with me and had a little hufflepuff keychain. but i gave that up almost a decade ago because of the harm it started to cause to me and my community. i can't engage in these stories anymore; they make me feel sick. and the realization that antisemitism, racism, misogyny, and transphobia have been a part of these stories since the beginning means that it would be wrong to try and engage with them even without financial support and even under death of the author.

harry potter is, at this point, a symbol of hate. one that makes me feel unsafe. i don't care if you, yourself, are a member of the communities affected by jkr's hate or the hate expressed in the series. you should know better if anything.

fuck you. you can't do the bare fucking minimum to support us, jewish people, or people of color and that's sad. i legitimately hope you die so that there will be one less person in the world giving support or indifference to fascists. the world would be better without you in it, as long as you refuse to let go of a series of antisemitic, racist books written by one of the most prominent and active transphobes alive today.

sincerely,

a trans woman that you are statistically likely to ignore or harass

[jewish-vents]

post 10/7 jewish culture is straight up no longer believing your goyische friends actually like you and are in for the long haul. immediately after 10/7 I lost a few people who were disgusting assholes, but ever since then my goyische friends on this website have been slowly "un-friending" me (unfollowing, soft-blocking, and blocking). I'll have other goy friends who stuck around this long say nice things about me, compliment my fics, my blog, and even me, and I just... don't believe it. I know that's a common social anxiety fear, but I never struggled with social anxiety that badly. if you asked me if I thought my internet friends really liked me last september I would've said yes and meant it. but now, after months and months of my friends dropping like flies (and I almost NEVER lost mutuals before 10/7, not in almost 4 years on this website), I don't really believe them. I just can't. I'm waiting for them to realize they don't want to put up with my jewish ass anymore.

I've decided to stop talking about i/p because of this... I'll see posts on my dash (like from jewishlivesmatter) which I think are good and I wanna put on my blog, but I feel like every post about it pushes my goyische friends a little further away, a little closer to the block/unfollow button, so I'm just... not. I used to be scared to talk about i/p, from may 2021 when I learned just how antisemitic most goyim were because of the riots, to oct 7. but now I no longer fear getting doxx'd or getting swarmed with anon hate. I just know that talking about it is the number one way for Jews to lose friends.

"do you even want to be friends with these people?" yes. if I held goyim to the standard of i/p opinions I think everyone ought to have, I'd have no goyische friends. at this point as long as they agree that hamas is a terror org and a 2-state solution is best, I'm down to keep being friends, because even that is a godsend for people my age (20s).

it's even started to affect me in real life. the other day I had a talk with a goysiche friend of 15 years about i/p (knowing where they stood, obviously, by this point). we got into a mild argument, but they had stuff to do so we had to stop. I sent them an unrelated text an hour later, and when I got radio silence for the rest of the day (our argument was in the morning) a part of me genuinely believed that was it for us and braced for losing an irl friend who means so much to me and I thought was going to be in my life until one of us dies. they'd be in my wedding party. we've penciled in figuring out some honorific my future kids can use for them instead of aunt/uncle because they're nonbinary. I caved and texted them to make sure we're still friends, and they said yes, thank fucking gd, because otherwise I might've just had a full mental breakdown.

anyone else waiting for their remaining goyische friends to leave them?

.

[sciderman]

Sci I would like to speak to you about your quote on quote “Wade Wilson is half native Canadian” agenda pls it sounds Coolio

i haven't had the chance to do due research, and i don't have a lot of greater plans but i kind of just always like to make wade wilson a little more complicated than he appears, even if it's something he's buried. i don't want wade to be a plain toast white boy. not that white boys can't be complicated, but - you know, you know. i need more to sink my teeth into. and i'm kind of all about wade and peter consistently having parallels, and that being a strange sort of explanation for everything. for why they kind of hate each other but can't let each other go. for why they kind of understand each other better and are so forgiving of each other, over and over.

for - well, for why wade picked peter, specifically.

i think a huge motivation for wade wilson in 9319 - like, a huge motivator for all of his behaviours, and the reason why peter is such a vital part of his journey of self-improvement is that - he kind of lives vicariously through peter.

[x]

peter had, has, or has the opportunity to obtain everything wade wilson has ever wanted. peter embodies what wade wishes he was, and what he feels like he could be, if... if he was dealt a different hand, or whatever.

kind of obsessed with wade "could'a been, would'a been different, if i had what you had" wilson.

so wade kind of becomes obsessed with getting peter to reconcile all the pieces of his identity. all the things that wade sees in peter, that peter buries. and all the things that peter has, that he doesn't show gratitude for.

peter had a loving father figure, wade wishes he had that.

peter has a flawless bod. he should flaunt that.

peter is fruity as all get-out. he should be proud of that.

and – well, peter has a culture and a heritage too, that he's estranged from. he's jewish, but he wasn't raised that way because his parents left him.

[x]

it isn't a part of his life or identity that he's reconciled with. even though he could. it's something he doesn't do much with. it's not wrong of him, really, but peter has a tendency to reject vital parts of his identity just for fear of complicating his life. for fear. fear of being othered.

wade's obsessed with peter as a project, and kind of likes to live vicariously through peter. if he can improve peter and get peter to reconcile those missing parts of his identity then it's catharsis for him too. he can feel proud knowing peter's proud.

i just think it speaks to wade a little that he also has this heritage that he's estranged from. and it's one that can't be reconciled with, because not only is his mother gone, but his community is so dispersed and so forcibly assimilated that there's very few resources left for him to better understand his heritage. so, when he sees peter ignoring or rejecting this heritage that he has the means to rekindle, wade encourages peter. it's - it's this whole storyline i really wanted to do. where wade falls backwards over himself trying to throw peter a bar mitzvah because he's SO invested in peter reconciling his cultural identity.

and i think he's so invested because he doesn't have the chance to do it for himself.

same as him doting uncle ben because he didn't have that for himself either.

wade "i wish i had what you have" wilson, lovingly forcing one peter parker to count his blessings.

anyway this is just a thing that lives in my head all the time. don't know when it'll make it to the blog. but it's in my head, every time i write wade wilson. a boy who was "othered" in his community for every little piece of his identity. every little thing about him made him different. his heritage, his class, his gender expression – his brain.

[x]

he's a kid in a world that never felt built to fit.

[x]

thinking of him, always.

[postmodern-blues]

A full live breakdown of my reaction and thoughts to the Variety interview because I feel like I’m going crazy.

- I fucking KNEW Reitman was going to reduce each cast member to one aspect of themselves. I FUCKING CALLED IT. Pretty sure I laid it out in a dm exchange with @mrs-jake-blues. Reitman, you goddamn bastard.

- “Like that Peter Jackson documentary about The Beatles- What was it like when certain songs were written?” Make a documentary then. What the fuck are you doing making a biopic style movie when you had access to all the people you wanted to interview. Tell the truth rather than making the story into a movie and the people into characters. I can’t tell you how excited I’d be if they were making a documentary about the first SNL episode.

- SO glad that Rosie Shuster’s actress got to speak with her directly. That is a comfort, in fairness.

- I’m still furious about who they picked for Gilda. Young hollywood beauty standards are a disease. They could have spent 2 extra minutes finding someone who was as interesting and distinctive as Gilda. someone jewish even

- “I wanted to talk to Lorne, but Jason didn’t think that was a good idea” what the fuck does that mean. Are you kidding me? Why??

- “The internet is very abundant” girl come ON

- “Oh, I didn’t have to meet him and I didn’t have to try and figure him out because he’s a different man” are you saying that people fundamentally and irreconcilably change as they grow older and more famous, retaining not even a spark of their former selves? Jesus Christ just one conversation man

- “One of the things that Jason was really clear about with us as soon as we got going was that we were trying to capture the spirit of this moment in time and the essence of these people at this moment in time” I don’t know man that just seems like a super weak excuse for why the still living members of the cast and crew weren’t more involved. Why does your movie have to be some kind of ultra special time capsule if the people it’s about didn’t really get a say in how they were portrayed?

- “We didn’t have to think about them ten years later or even think about them once they had been affected by fame” that would be much more interesting though. You know that, right? Because then you’d be forced to write and portray them as complex people rather than stock characters for your boy wonder self insert fantasy

- “We were representing them, not recreating them.” What???? It sounds like you’re doing the opposite, actually.

- “Being on set and seeing everybody in their wardrobe, it was like, oh my god these are like superheroes or like shakespearean characters that everyone is familiar with that we’re getting the honor to show our interpretation of” Okay if he’s talking about the actual CHARACTERS, like Emily Litella or the bees or whatever, FINE. But you can get the same thing just by putting on a conehead mask on halloween. But if he means the players?? Insane thing to say. They’re not characters, they’re people. Two of them died young. There is an excess of storytelling and mythology surrounding them, but they are in fact people. To call them characters and to claim you can have an “interpretation” on them is laughable. This is the kind of shit that gets biopics torn to shreds. You can’t just take the history of a living human person and reduce it to an acting exercise. You’re doing everyone a disservice.

- “Dylan’s voice is insane in this movie” Unbelievably offensive. At least I’m getting some confirmation that O’Brien is attempting a Canadian accent but girl wtf is wrong with you why would you say that? Dan Aykroyd actually sounds like that! It’s not insane; it’s his fucking voice! Christ alive

- “I did not do a lot” And there it fucking is folks. My worst nightmare made flesh. Every single fucking nitpicky thing I’ve said about this movie made manifest and validated in one little sentence. The guy playing the most interesting guy ever to grace showbusiness: Dan Aykroyd, who is a fascinating, multilayered, quirky, abundantly creative, unlikely genius, who has given us the greatest and most beloved films in the past century. He didn’t research to play that guy. I’m shaking with fury it’s just so unbelievable. And Reitman has a direct line of access to the actual living breathing human man! The man who, as author Daniel de Vise described, went so far as to offer the details of his route to school for de Vise’s newest book. Aykroyd would be willing to talk, I know it. Jesus H tap dancing christ I cannot even fucking believe it. Worst case scenario.

- “In that way, you followed Jason’s direction” die

- “The idea is to capture one piece of essence of the character. You can’t actually replicate a person.” Insane shit. I thought the idea was to capture a moment in time? This is just further solidifying my fervent belief that this could have been a documentary. A documentary can do WAY more and go WAY deeper than a movie with regard to historical stuff like this. ESPECIALLY when you have the people in question sit down and explain themselves. You can’t replicate a person, so why make them characters? Why not try your hand at documentary filmmaking instead of making this all about you, Reitman?

- “I was in terror that I’d ruin my career over trying to do this.” “Are you serious?” Okay at least Chevy���s actor gets what a big fucking task this is. Everyone else is acting like it’s no big deal to do no research and stumble your way through playing one of these people. At least he respects that this is a legacy worth PREPARING FOR

- “You spend a lot of time in this film watching these people not performing but living” GREAT POINT. ALMOST LIKE YOU SHOULD GET TO SPEAK WITH THE PERSON AND GET A SENSE OF THEIR VOICE AND MANNERISMS. HMMM

- I really respect Chevy’s actor right now actually. Not only did he go in depth with interviews trying to get a sense of Chevy as a person, but he actually seems to have picked up Chevy’s inflections and mannerisms and such in a way that is convincing. As someone who has watched a lot of Aykroyd interviews (as many as say someone playing him should) I can list specific vocal and physical habits of his for you in detail. I get the sense this guy could do that for chevy, that gives me a small sense of relief.

- Thank GOD Garrett’s actor got to speak with him. Garrett is fucking old, guys. Can you imagine if instead of a shitty poorly researched biopic starring bland young people, we could have an in depth and stylistically pleasant documentary starring all the still living people who were involved before a lot of them die?? Because remember most of them are in their 70s and 80s??

- If they make Garrett “the black one”… if they make his whole character about how he’s the only black guy. I’m literally gonna kill myself. Super inspiring guys. Great job. I don’t really have any reason to think they will but the way they talk about him just irks me slightly

- “He was going through a lot more than just having to perform” something you’d only know by talking to him, once again.

- “Jason was spot on with his writing” based on everything I have seen I am very much inclined to disagree. Jason doesn’t seem to give a shit about reality

- “The one thing I’m not going to do is I’m not going to watch any of the first season of SNL” from GILDA’S actress is CRAZY. How do you know what her characters and physical comedy are like then?? What the fuck that is so insane. Why would you do that??? My confidence in the quality of the Gilda performance just dropped back to zero.

- “Our dressing rooms were designed and catered for our characters’ personalities” weird as shit. Stop calling them characters.

- “There was this clip of Gilda that I had never seen before” Literally insane. Unfathomable.

- “Gilda was the fairy dust, Garrett was looking for his identity, Chevy is an ego that needs to be humbled, Aykroyd is this genius that’s like filtering a firehose through a straw, each one had like one thing to focus on that was their journey” Congratulations Mr. Reitman you’ve officially read the introductory paragraph of a 500 page book about SNL. Usually a sane person would finish that book before presuming to turn its subject into a movie. But fuck man whatever.

To be completely honest the thing that kills me is the smugness with which he delivers all of this. It’s like he feels entitled to this story because his late father was of the set that produced this era of comedy history. And Ghostbusters, I get. Ghostbusters is Ivan Reitman’s legacy, and it makes sense to pass it on to his son. I love the new Ghostbusters movies. But this is different, man. This isn’t yours. And everything about this interview and the promo just oozes with presumption. I truly believe that if he really gave a shit about telling this story in a way that was meaningful and paid hearty homage to the people involved, he’d make a damn good documentary. He has the connections to make it happen and the stylistic eye to make it memorable. It could be the next STEVE! (martin). But he chose to make a biopic comedy, and he chose to tell his actors not to research, not to speak with the subjects of their portrayals. And he seems to think it’s some kind of big flex that his actors don’t know shit about the 70 somethings they’re playing because “it’s just a moment in time”. Horseshit excuse, dude. This group of people matters to me. The complex dynamics and the internal grappling with fame and the comedic theses of each one (I mean, comedy MEANT something to Gilda Radner. She performed with purpose. To fail to watch the most famous examples of her prowess is absolutely inexcusable), it’s all important. And Reitman is acting like it’s not. All that’s important is that his name comes up in the same sentence as the legends he wishes he was. Fuck all the way off.

And seriously, I mean, I know I’ve been snarky about the Aykroyd portrayal without any real reason, given how little we’ve gotten of him, but the confirmation from the horse’s mouth that O’Brien barely did any research justifies all of it. Absolutely revolting development. My confidence in this movie (such as it was) has waned to absolute zero. I will not abide by this being how these people and this show are remembered. Congratulations, guys, you Bohemian Rhapsody’d one of the most important moments in comedy history. Exeunt.

[queer-geordie-nerd]

"That spring in 1971 I was in second grade high school. Suddenly, politics or what we thought was politics, stopped being so boring. In a delayed, faint echo of the 1968 movement in the West, revolutionary ideas were making their way towards our forgotten little corner of the world. Suddenly, every walk back home from school became slightly dangerous. People were gathering in the streets, shouting “We want democracy” and “Stop totalitarianism!” and “We want reforms” and “Liberty for all political prisoners.” Every day there were fights in the streets of Zagreb, with the police brutally attacking protesting students.

At home my parents were contemplating signing petitions for the liberation of dissident writers imprisoned because of their political views. Since they had been imprisoned themselves by the Communist regime, they were always very cautious about any protest. “Stay away from politics,” was their main advice. Before the events of 1971 there was no need for that advice since I didn’t have any interest in politics anyway. Who cared about those boring Communist politicians, all in their ill-fitting grey suits, indistinguishable one from the other, talking in a language that put you to sleep as soon as you heard it!

But all at once and without warning, everything changed. What was happening in the streets was real and exciting. I desperately wanted to be a part of it. We, the kids, were, of course, automatically and unquestionably, on the side of the protesters. We were, of course, against the police who were beating the demonstrating students. We were, of course, against totalitarianism and pro democracy. There were no dilemmas. We were all for freedom.

But things in the Balkans are never black and white. As they aren’t anywhere in the world, we would learn later.

The pro-democracy protests included another element that wasn’t too obvious to a second-grade high school student. Not only were the students requesting democratic reforms; they were also questioning the federal structure of Yugoslavia, asking for more autonomy for each republic, in this case Croatia. I went to a student meeting, my cheeks burning with newly-discovered political passion. I was puzzled when I realized that the meeting was being held in a Catholic church and that one of the speakers was a Catholic priest. Hm….

Since the beginning of my life I had listened to passionate anti-religious rants at home. My mother would get physically sick inside churches; my father was an outspoken communist who loved to quote Marx’s sentence about religion being the opium of the people; my grandmother thanked the priest who chased her away from the Church, thus saving her life. So now, wanting to join the exciting political movement, I was suddenly faced with the other constituting element of that movement: religion. And, yet another one: nation. I didn’t know anything about either. As for nationality: I was a Yugoslav. That’s what I would write in all my documents. Yes, we lived in the republic of Croatia, but I saw it as an administrative category, something to do with the general organization of the state of Yugoslavia. We did learn about the existence of different ethnicities at school, but I didn’t feel it affected me in any way. I saw any discussion about nationality as something regressive and belonging to the uneducated peasant masses.

We were taught (and I was totally buying it) that our society had triumphed over all those destructive forces from the past, forces that had killed millions of people in the last war, that had set up concentration camps and slaughtered children in the name of ethnic purity. Who would ever want to go back to those “dark times?” It turned out: almost everybody.

At that students’ meeting in the church there was no discussion of freedom and democratic reforms. To my absolute horror, I heard students singing songs from the Second World War, songs sung by the Ustashas, the Croatian Fascists who had killed my Jewish grandfather. “Zovi, samo zovi” (“Call us”) was a battle song of the Ustashas. Why were these exciting young people with glowing eyes singing it? I couldn’t understand it. I ran out of the church, scared."

- Mira Furlan, Love Me More Than Anything In the World

[thelonelyjew]

I really hope it doesn't sound like I'm trying to start an argument with this, I genuinely want your opinion. Do you think Israel should exist? Do you think it can exist peacefully? I'm a Jewish kid, I support Palestine and think the genocide needs to stop, but I feel like some (obviously not all) of the criticism of Israel feels a little bit antisemitic. Like I've seen people saying that zionists control a bunch of things internationally and in the us government, and that sounds very similar to antisemitic conspiracy theories. I'm sorry for asking you this, I just don't know who to ask. My mom is really sensitive about this because she's been bullied for being Jewish. And my friends aren't quite as politically aware, so they don't understand the history and just keep being like "why did the us ever support Israel to begin with?" and they certainly don't understand where zionism came from so I can't have actual conversations with them

So if you have anything to say, or any resources, anything you think I should read, that would seriously be really helpful

This ask contains several complicated questions so I'll break it down and do my best to present not just my opinion but also what I understand to be the context and the alternatives, and what factors shape my thinking.

Do I believe the state of Israel should exist? On one level, I don't believe any states should exist. All modern nation-states are built on some amount of violence and ethnostates especially all require some amount of erasure of groups outside the national group being enshrined in the national mythology. This is not unique to Israel; Atatürk's "One nation one language one flag" policy continues to be the basis of Turkish aggression against and denial of Kurdish cultural existence for example. The ongoing Tigrayan genocide is part of the legacy of Amharic supremacy in the statecraft that went into the building of the state of Ethiopia. Every nation-state has a dark history casting a long shadow. For more context on this topic, Worshipping Power by Peter Gelderloos is a good read.

As far as alternatives, the proposals of Murray Bookchin, what he calls Social Ecology, and the Democratic Confederalism proposed by Abdullah Öcalan are promising. Other historical examples of alternatives past and present include the Haudeosaunee Confederacy, the Caracol model of the Zapatistas, peasant cooperative experiments seen in Makhnovchina during the Russian revolution and in revolutionary Spain in the 30s, and of course the Democratic Confederalist experiment in northeastern Syria aka Rojava.

The Rojava model is especially relevant because, while westerners tend to make armchair pronouncements about what ought to happen in the Middle East based on extremely flawed and limited knowledge and a deeply ingrained cultural bias (read Orientalism by Edward Said for more on that), there are experiments in pluralistic multicultural democracy that originate from within the region that are much more relevant. It's always so wild to me to hear Zionist apologia in the form of the question, "well what else could we ("we?") possibly support if not a two-state solution or an only-Israel 'the only democracy in the Middle East™️' solution?" When practically right next door there is a thriving 10-year experiment in radical democracy in an area with more ethnic, religious, and language groups than you can count on one hand, in an area where some people from those groups were brutally murdering each other less than a decade ago and now are having to find ways to patch up society and function in peace and with respect and self-determination for all groups there. That seems very relevant as an example but I almost never hear anyone mention it and Palestine together, despite historically the movements supporting each other.

As far as antisemitic conspiracy theories, I think you're right about that. I know a lot of people, even well-meaning people who have not fully examined their internalized antisemitism, will talk about US support for Israel as if Israel is controlling US politics and that is why there is so much military aid being sent, or they will talk about American support for Israel as if it's the result of Jewish influence in politics. On no other topic do Jews hold this amount of sway. Jews tend to support immigration reform and universal healthcare and yet we don't have the power as a tiny voting bloc to get those passed. No, the US supports Israel because it's an investment. Israel is essentially a weapons research and development laboratory for the US. The Israeli economy is overwhelmingly dependent on its military development and exports. A good source for this is the documentary film, "The Lab" directed by Yotam Feldman, an Israeli Jew himself, who goes into great detail on the role that Israel plays in weapons development for not only the US but also dictatorships in South America.

The other big source of American support for Israel is based on religion but not the Jewish religion. Evangelical Christians are by far the most powerful religious group in US politics, and they believe that Jews being returned to the holy land is a necessary component of triggering the war of Armageddon and bringing about end times etc. They are not our friends; our role in their teleology is to die to bring about the salvation of (a relatively small number of) Christians. This group is represented by powerful televangelists like John Hagee, whose organization Christians United For Israel describes itself as America's largest pro-Israel group. Not only are not all Jews Zionists and not all Zionists Jews; there are more Christian Zionists in America (30 million according to Tristan Sturm) than there are Jews in the entire world (less than 17 million according to Sheskin and Dashefsky data for 2023.)

Antisemitism absolutely still exists and is a real problem, and the conflation of critique of Israel with antisemitism makes genuine antisemitism much harder to address. Israeli propaganda deliberately inflames the reasonable and justified fears of Jewish people and directs them at a relatively powerless target rather than at the systems that endanger all of us.

I would argue that the state of Israel itself is antisemitic. Not only does it aggressively promote the old antisemitic narrative that conflates Jewish identity with Zionism, it has been instrumental in the displacement and destruction of so many Jewish communities and traditions that had been existing for centuries. I just finished reading My Father's Paradise, by a Kurdish Jew whose father's family was forced to relocate to Israel shortly after his bar mitzvah, the last ever to happen in the ancient Aramaic-speaking Jewish community of Zaxo in northern Iraq. It captures a poignant glimpse of how it feels to be the last surviving native speaker of your childhood language, and the role Israeli statecraft played in dooming many Jewish communities of the diaspora to that fate.

And here's maybe my hottest take: even if there were no genocide of Palestinians to worry about, I would still be anti-Zionist because I think Zionism is inherently anti-Jewish. Most of Jewish life has happened in the diaspora for the last several millennia, yet Zionism is an anti-diaspora ideology that sees our lives, our homes, our diverse sub-cultures and languages and spiritual practices as inferior, broken, not worth preserving let alone continuing. Modern Zionism is, by Hertzl's own admission, a settler-colonial project intended to shape Jewry into the mold popular among European nations at the time, and thereby win the respect of Christendom by playing their game on their terms and excelling. In short The national project of Israel is manufacturing whiteness for Jews.

But the truth is that for as long as there has been political Zionism, there have been Jewish anti-Zionists, as evidenced by folk songs like the century-old "Oy Ir Narishe Tsionisten" ("Oh You Foolish Zionists") re-popularized by Daniel Kahn, whose music is also associated with a Yiddish cultural revival among young diaspora Jews.

There's a lot more I could ramble on about and more books I could point towards but this is already very long and I'm no expert on the subject, just a very tired Jew who has been at this for a long time now. I'll leave you with a link to a good article about the recent wave of campus protests and incidents of alleged, and sometimes actual, antisemitism among them:

[imasradiantasthesun]

District 12 Family Trees

Here are some family trees I made for my thg fic holding bright! I include a good amount of worldbuilding and fleshing out of some side characters (aka Bristel, Thom, Leevy, and Delly) in it, so I thought hey might as well draw some trees to help clarify my thinking. First, some notes on the structure:

The numbers in brackets are the characters' ages at the time of the Reaping for the 74th Hunger Games. I didn't feel like assigning specific birthdays for everyone, hence just the ages lol. Some characters' ages differ from canon in my fic: Katniss, Peeta, Delly, and Madge are all 18, Prim is 13, and Rory is 12

My use of "clan" here is super arbitrary, it doesn't actually mean anything lol

Names in quotation marks are nicknames/what they go by

Plenty of people in the older generations are dead, again I just didn't feel like specifying it unless it's relevant

Some notes on my decision-making in general:

I accidentally made Katniss and Peeta's maternal grandmothers have the same maiden names please ignore that lmao they are NOT related closely At All, it's a normal amount of distance lol

Ashwin is supposed to be older than Jubilee, not younger!! and Carson is supposed to be younger than River and Rylee (who are twins)!!!

Some of the names chosen for some Seam characters are Indian names, because I headcanon that people from the Seam can be a mix of a ton of different stuff, including South Asian

The idea that Mrs Everdeen's first name is Alyssum (Alys for short) comes from Mejhiren's fic When the Moon Fell in Love with the Sun

I continued the bread theme for Mellark names lol. Mr Mellark's first name is Nick, from pumpernickel. I also once read a fic where Peeta is of Jewish descent, which I really liked, so some of the breads are of Jewish origin: Hal is from challah (which can also be written as hallah), and Bab is from babka

In Holding Bright (which is an au, hence the variety of small changes I have made to canon lol) the Reaping takes place on June 1st (instead of the canonical July 4th), and it's also canon that the Games start exactly one week after the Reaping, so therefore in HB they always start on June 8th. Therefore, the teenaged deaths set after June 1st -- Glory Salsbury, Maysilee Donner, and Ridge Littlefield -- were all in the Games.

As explained in chapter 9 of Holding Bright, Ezra and Petunia Rainwater started a tradition of giving their kids long ass floral names lol. Their first child was relatively spared, with the name Foxglove, though he still went by Fox; their second child, Devil-in-a-Bush (or just Dev) fell in love with a woman who also just so happened to have a super long floral name, Queen Anne's Lace (though she went by Lace). All of Fox's descendants were spared from this naming tradition, to the point where his daughter, Hazelle, gave all of her children only four-letter names. Meanwhile, Dev's descendants got the longest names ever lmao: Chrysanthemum had five children: Morning Glory, Lily-of-the-Valley (aka Leevy), Stairway to Heaven, May Night Salvia, and Forget-Me-Not.

I have a headcanon that in Town they tend to give their children middle names, while in the Seam they don't (why? I don't know <3). In Town middle names came into use because they wanted to honor loved ones who have passed away, but because of the Games and all that it's considered bad luck to give your child the same first name as a deceased loved one

However, because I'm lazy I only wrote out the middle names for the youngest generation because I didn't want to come up with middle names for every single Merchant character lol

Katniss and Prim have middle names because their mother is from Town. Madge's middle name comes from Maysilee, just like Katniss's

I'm going with the popular headcanon that Katniss is indirectly related to Lucy Gray through Maude Ivory. Katniss's father's name follows the same conventions as those of the Covey (name from a ballad + a color). I had originally planned for people to only really know Mr Everdeen as Jet, hence why the family tree says Gordon Jet "Jet" Everdeen, but I have decided against that!! he went by Gordon Jet!!!

The first part of Mr Everdeen's name comes from the Scottish ballad Lord Saltoun and Auchanachie, in which the protagonist, Jeannie, is in love with a poor man named Auchanachie Gordon. However, despite Jeannie's resistance, she is married off by her parents to the wealthy Lord Salton/Saltoun; Jeannie then dies of a broken heart before Auchanachie Gordon returns and also dies. I thought Gordon is a fitting name, considering that Mrs Everdeen left her life in Town, where the wealthier Mr Mellark was in love with her, to marry the poorer Mr Everdeen

The second part of Mr Everdeen's name, Jet, comes from the color jet black; jet is also a type of coal

Some allusions to another canon character + my minor OCs:

Rooba is the name of the butcher in canon, so here she is Delly's aunt

Madge's maternal grandmother, Magnolia, has the maiden name Blackwell. She is distantly related to Maggie Blackwell, the carpenter's daughter who went missing about a decade ago

Thom’s maternal grandmother, Nomi Goodwin, was originally from Town

Bristel's mother, Juniper, passed away from complications at childbirth

Gale's maternal grandmother, Anika, has the maiden name Reeves. Gale is second cousins with Sparrow Reeves, the female tribute from 12 in the 68th Games who made a lasting impact on her district due to the brutality of her death

River & Rylee Ludlow are the 17-year-old twins who tend to pick on Madge a bit. No wonder they're related to Mrs Mellark...

Mrs Mellark's brother, Noah, died in the Games. Her other brother, Elijah, took over the apothecary shop from the Stewards after Alys ran away to be with Gordon Jet

Ivy Fairweather is the Undersees' housekeeper, usually referred to in HB as Mrs Fairweather. She and her husband probably have a ton of kids, but I just didn't feel like writing them all out lol. Ivy's maiden name is Claymore, which is also the last name of another OC, Hetty Claymore, who mysteriously died; Ivy is Hetty's like second cousin whatever-times-removed or something (aka practically a distant aunt)

[taylovelinus]

every single time i see some goober on instagram (or here on tumblr for that matter) demonizing jews and israel, all I want to ask is:

1) what is your opinion on indigenous rights?

2) are jews white?

3) have you read hamas’ founding document (their 1988 charter)?

because these really get to the root of their hypocrisy. these so-called leftists always claim to support indigenous rights and land back movements until it comes to jewish people, because they have a fundamental lack of understanding of jewish history, jewish ethnic and racial ancestry and identity, and the relationship between jews and that land. (also it shows how American-centric their worldview is that they see this conflict almost exclusively through an overly-simplistic lens of color, wherein they see jews as white/white europeans and palestinians as a generalized, vague group of people of color who are only ever victims instead of as a complex group of people with their own history, culture, and identity). and you KNOW they haven’t read the charter because they sincerely believe this is all solely about “liberation from oppression” and have no idea about the very real and very violent direct, explicit antisemitism that is the very basis for Hamas’ ideology. their original charter completely denies that jewish people originate from the very same land they claim to originate from; they say that they only way for the three abrahamic faiths to coexist peacefully is under islamic rule and regulation (which if you know literally anything about how jews and christians were treated under dhimmi status you’d know that they were treated as second class citizens at best); They directly cite this verse from the quran as justification for a holy war against the jews — "The Day of Judgement will not come about until Moslems fight the Jews (killing the Jews), when the Jew will hide behind stones and trees. The stones and trees will say O Moslems, O Abdulla, there is a Jew behind me, come and kill him.” (and don’t even get me started that the charter also explicitly states that women are valuable to the movement... but only “because they are makers of men” and because they stay home and rear the children.) I’ll concede that their 2017 revised charter states that they have “no problem with the Jews”, however this is moot when you can easily find video after video of young children saying explicitly that they want to kill Jews (yahood) and eradicate them from the land. these kids aren’t being taught to separate Jews and Israel/Zionism like Hamas leads people to believe (like they have convinced you westerners to believe); make no mistake, it’s not about cleansing the land of only "zionists", it is about eliminating all jewish people, denying their equal claim to the land, and denying their autonomy and right to self-determination.

i strongly, STRONGLY disagree with israel’s policies towards palestinians. i fucking hate Netanyahu, i hate his cronies, i hate that they court the far right in israel, i hate everything regarding how they have handled and continue to handle this entire conflict. and EVERY single other jew i know feels the same way. but jews have been stepped on and abused and slaughtered by their muslim/christian/pagan neighbors for literally thousands of years at this point. they were murdered en masse within living memory (and updated estimates put the death toll of the Holocaust at somewhere between 10-12 million, by the way. we are still finding mass graves in eastern europe all the time). jews deserve to govern themselves and live in their historical ancestral homeland. palestinians also deserve to live in peace and security, and israel has a responsibility to ensure that. but i will never ever support the complete erasure of the state of israel because i fundamentally believe in jewish sovereignty and indigenous rights, regardless of how much time they’ve been away, especially considering they were forced out and into a diaspora -- their leaving the land was not their choice. if the notion of jews standing up and making a space for themselves and ensuring their security upsets you, then perhaps the world should have actually treated them as human beings instead of slaughtering them. if we say that antisemitism is part of this conversation, and that the antisemitism should be condemned, and your first instinct is to either deny or deflect, you really need to examine your own antisemitism and how you have been thinking about this.

[numberonestuckyshipper]

Don’t mind me, just feel like sharing the Barnes family that lives in my head

James “Bucky” Buchanan Barnes: The oldest sibling, hella protective of his siblings (only they are allowed to make each other miserable, anyone else will suffer). Huge nerd, loves sci-fi, good at most of telle things that he tries, he loves his family more than anything, it’s that simple

Steve(n) Grant Rogers: is one of the Barnes as far as anyone is concerned, most people actually believe that because of how much time he spends with them and how close he is with all of them. He and Bucky are the closest and know each other by heart, but he’s also really good friends with the girls and sometimes jokingly calls Winnie and George “Ma”, “mother”, “pa” and “father” usually when he’s being a kiss ass to piss of the siblings. Honestly he pretty much lives at their house at this point. He’s a Barnes sibling, not up for debate for any of them.

Mary-Anne “Annie” Charity (Sheldon-)Barnes: She’s aboit a year younger than Steve and two and a half years younger than Bucky, but honestly, she’s probably the most mature out of the bunch. She’s the mom of the friend group (yes the siblings are also pretty much a friend group, they love each other. Unrealistic from my experience but leave me alone) and she’s also the most helpful around the household. She’s the only Blonde in the biological Barnes family, which often helps Steve to blend in with them. She and Steve are besties, she had a huge crush on him when they were kids but got over it eventually, she likes to joke that Steve is her favorite brother when she’s messing with Bucky. She’s usually the one reasoning and lecturing the others but often ends up being the one to cover for them when the others are doing something stupid. Bucky used to call her “MAC” because of her initials to piss her off, and got her to tear up on her wedding day when he called her “MACS”. She got married to William Sheldon as soon as she was old enough to get married and had a son called Charles (everyone called him Charlie), Steve was his godfather.

Rebecca “Becca” Marjorie (Proctor-)Barnes: she’s three and a half years younger than Bucky and is the sibling that annoys him the most. Bucky and Becca are always finding ways to mess with each other and make the other miserable (figuratively speaking, they would never try to actually hurt each other). Annie is usually the one to split them up when they’re arguing. She looks a lot like Bucky and has a ton in common with him, and they both hate it and use it to annoy the heck out of each other. Later on she gets engaged to Arthur Proctor who asked for George, Bucky and Steve’s blessing to marry her. They got married after the war. She became an activist for civil rights and peace after the war. She and her husband Arthur died in a car crash in 1960. They were the Winter Soldier’s first mission.

Elizabeth “Lizzie” Madeline Barnes: depending on my mood, she’s between 16 and 10 years younger than Bucky. Either way, she’s the baby of the family. She’s the sweetest kid alive, and looks a lot like her siblings. She was one of the many people who believed that Steve was a Barnes, and broke down crying when she accidentally discovered the truth at the age of ten, running to Steve and begging him not to leave her even though he never had any intentions to do so. She’s a very smart kid who hangs on her older siblings’ every word. She trusts them never to lie to her, even when the truth is ugly, they do their best to explain things to her in a way she can understand (and not get traumatized by in the case of the war).

George Barnes: is their father, he lost his middle and ring finger of his right hand during the Great War, and the idea of war terrifies him though the first years of Bucky’s life were hard on him, he usually managed to ground himself with the presence of his children. His family is Jewish, and his uncle Randolph is a total dickhead that is not allowed near his children ever since that one time.

Winnifred “Winnie” Barnes: she’s the mother, she and George love Steve like one of their own, she’s an amazing cook and loves when Steve and Sarah stay over for meals, she’s very generous and especially during the depression when everyone was in need, she never hesitated to give up things to others who needed it more. She’s catholic like Steve and Sarah and raised her kids to know her religion, though they picked more up from their father

Sarah Rogers: is Steve’s mom, she doesn’t get to spend as much time with the children due to her need to work for a living, she loves how close Steve got to that amazing family and is always reassured that he has someone behind his back when he does something stupid and has another family to rely on when she’s at work. She and Winnie pretty much share custody of the kids, they love seeing her whenever she has the time

Anyway, just some personal headcanons that no one asked for!

[mama-pigtails]

hi little one. can mama talk to you about something more serious for a second? yes? thank you darling. 🩷

I know this is a scary time. mama is scared, too. it's okay to be scared, and it's okay to be angry. mama is angry too.

every day is a new day. every day I wake up and keep trying to treat others the way I would want to be treated, and so should you. and every day we have to wake up and keep trying to do the good this world needs.

I know sometimes it feels like there is nothing we can do, but when we fight, we win. when we stay alive, we win. so many people love you. mama loves you. and my trans friends, my queer friends, my bipoc friends, my disabled friends, my immigrant friends, my woman friends, my muslim and jewish friends, stay alive. 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈✊🏾♿️🇵🇸🕌☪️✡️

there is good news out there, too kiddo. delaware elected a transgender woman to the house - the first out trans person ever elected to congress. new york passed an amendment to protect the rights of at-risk minorities and to protect access to abortion. new jersey voted out a republican and elected the first korean-american senator. and overseas, sudan is beginning to introduce the malaria vaccine. the maldives have suspended all relations with israel. the country of jordan has eradicated leprosy.

tomorrow is another day and no matter what happens, the best thing we can do is keep going. the world is better with us in it. don't let anyone tell you otherwise. we have made it through before and we will make it through again.

sometimes I think of this mister rogers quote: “always remember to look for the helpers. you will always find people who are helping.” people are fighting for you, love. and people in government positions are fighting for you. people are on your side, even if it seems like your country isn’t.

mama is always here to talk, kiddo. you are not alone, I am holding your hand. get out and do the good this world needs, okay? keep being the brave kid I know you are. stand up. speak out. roar like a lion when they want you to squeak like a mouse. we got this. 🩷

[throughgoeshamilton]

Revelations

A The Other Shelby story

Pairing: Alfie Solomons × fem!reader (OC hybrid)

Summary: The Shelby sister is torn between her loyalty to her brother and his Jewish frenemy who also happens to be her lover.

Words: 1.900

Warnings: none

The Other Shelby stories: Resurrection

A/N: Thank you @cillmequick again for beta reading this and your endless support 🫂 Also tagging @buttercupsandboys because you asked me ☺️

"So your brother still doesn't know about us?"

"No, and if you wanna keep your eyesight, it's better if it stays that way."

"Y'know, the little trick you played on me last year with your grenade... I think that makes us all even, doesn't it? I think it really does."

“I think what really makes us all even is that I'm fucking someone who betrayed the Shelby family and so is Tommy.”

She furrowed her brows as she stared at the ceiling, her hand stroking up and down her lover's broad chest that was covered with ink and hair. Her brother's wife wasn't her taste at all but she knew she had no right to talk some sense into him for marrying an Irish spy. Not when she was spending that much time with the very man who sold Tommy and her family for a deal with Sabini two years prior. But Alfie was right, she and Tommy had paid him back well when they had forced him to overthink his outrageous demand to have all of their businesses written over to him. And if the worst had come to the worst, she would've blown his arse off, lover or not.

Although she had to admit, it would have broken her heart. Even though they didn't put a name on their relationship, two years were a long time to get to know each other, to grow close. After everything that had gone down at Epsom, with Tommy reconnecting with Grace over their child and his unreasonable love for her, she had needed to spend some time away from her family, for the first time in her life ever since Mrs Shelby took her in as a little girl. She and Tommy had always been attached at the hip, from dirty streets used as playgrounds as kids to dirty business giving them money and power as adults. Still, she could not forgive his wife for coming into their life with the sole purpose of ruining it. That was the line she had drawn, the difference between Grace and Alfie. Her mission had been spying on the Shelbys from day one, working together with a man as vile as Campbell, while Alfie had been doing his business as usual, making deals, breaking them and trying to get the most out of it all. She could excuse his behaviour because that was what gangsters did and she had spent enough time around them to know what they were like. She was one of them.

Whether she made that excuse for Alfie because he was who he was to her or not, she wasn't sure. She had been attracted to him pretty early on and escaping to Camden, to him, had been a welcome change. At first, it had been mainly his sheets where she had spent her time with him - or rather his desk in his office at the bakery. It had taken them some time to take it to his bedroom, some intimacy and closeness before they would spend the whole night together and sometimes even wake up next to each other.

Whatever this was, it was good for both of them. He valued her input on business related matters, everything that didn't have to do with the Peaky Blinders, of course, and her wit and attitude she liked to give him most times. She liked the freedom she had in London, the control she could take over her own life outside of gang wars - and she enjoyed feeling wanted and appreciated by Alfie in every way.

Tommy didn't know about the more or less romantic arrangement she had with his former business partner then enemy now business partner again and if she wanted to keep up her attitude towards Grace, it had to stay that way.

“Y'know luv, I think as much as you dislike your good sister, you cannot complain, ya really can't. You were at their wedding and gave them your blessing” Alfie let her know his thoughts on her little family drama while he scratched his beard as if he was deep in thought.

She rolled her eyes at him and sat up, wrapping the thin blanket around her body to cover up her breasts as she looked down at him with a frown.

“I declined his request, I think that was enough of a hint that I do not approve of their bond.”

Despite all the bad blood between her and his bride, Tommy had still asked her to be his best woman at his wedding - just another anomaly that Thomas Shelby wouldn't have given a single fuck about if anyone had questioned why he had his sister as his closest confidant at his wedding instead of one of his brothers. It hadn't got that far because she wanted to spend as little time as possible at the wedding and around Grace’s entourage. That had been her official excuse too because “Do you know who used to grab my arse the most in the field hospitals? Those fucking red uniforms”. Of course, Tommy had known that hadn't been the real reason - or at least not the only one - but he still had had the smallest bit of hope to build bridges between the two women closest to him in his life.

“Why are you naked in ma bed and we're talking about ya brother anyway?”

“In all honesty, you started it. You're so obsessed with him” she chuckled before lying back down into his arms, making Alfie now roll his eyes at her.

“C’mere you little minx and let me show you ma real obsession.”

-

"Does my sister happen to be with you?"

"Tommy, shalom, my old friend. How can I help you?"

"I asked you a question, Alfie."

"Yeah yeah... what was that about again?"

He could hear the man on the other end take a deep breath.

"I asked you whether my SISTER is in your FUCKING BAKERY."

Alfie allowed himself a few seconds, leaving Tommy hanging by a thread judging by the heavy breathing that came from the speaker that he held against his ear.

"Hm... no Tommy, no she isn't. Why would she be 'ere eh? That woman tried to blow my arse off last time you put foot in ma bakery."

Tommy didn't believe him. He knew his sister was hiding something from him in London. That was why she was there all the time. But if his suspicions were true, and she was indeed spending time with the Jewish gangster, his old sparring partner better be sure to help him find her.

"If you happen to see her in London, tell her that I need her to come home immediately" he let him know in a strained voice before he hung up the telephone.

-

It was the two days later when Alfie made the decision to tell her about her brother's call. He had been hesitant at first. Why did her brother know about them? Had she told him? If she had, it wouldn't have bother him but he appreciated honesty, especially from the woman he shared a bed with.

"Treacle" he finally spoke up while clearing his throat, "there was someone on the telephone for you two days ago."

She looked up from the morning paper, slowly chewing on her toast some more as she raised an eyebrow at him.

"And?" she asked impatiently when Alfie didn't continue to speak.

He let out a heavy sight before speaking on.

"'t was your brother. He said you should come home immediately."

The paper made a slight crackling sound as she put it down with force, standing up with her hands pressed onto the table. If looks could kill, Alfie would've dropped dead on the spot. But he kept his calm. He knew she would be angry at him but he had his reasons to hold back this information. The more he had thought about it, the more possible it had seemed that this was Tommy bluffing. Maybe he didn't know about them after all, he was just testing the water, hoping an emergency call like that would give him the proof he was looking for - and a reason to punish her for sharing the bed with someone who once tried to fuck him over. His kid sister was the apple of Tommy's eye so Alfie didn't think he could be that cruel to her, but maybe that was the reason it had hurt him even more when he found out - or rather started to suspect - that she was indeed fucking his former enemy.

“And you didn't think about telling me earlier? Like, right away maybe, Alfred?”

Full name base was never a good sign but Alfie had known what to expect when he would finally break the news to her.

“We don't know what he wants. Maybe t’was a test. You know how he is. I tried to protect ya from him finding out.”

She dropped her head and closed her eyes for a second before pushing herself off the table and rushing towards the door.

“Tell your men to get my car ready, I'm packing.”

Alfie sighed but knew better than to talk back when she was this angry at him. She didn't have time for any discussion with him now but he could be sure to hear a few words about this from her once she was back from Birmingham.

-

As she entered the ridiculously huge mansion, John was storming through the hall, not even giving her one glance of attention. His face was red and he looked like he was ready to kill someone.

"John, what-" she tried to reason with her brother, turning around trying to make him stop in his furious tracks.

"NOT NOW!"

Shortly after him came Arthur, not looking any more cheerful. When she faced him with a questioning look, he slightly shook his head before embracing her in a short hug.

"I'll go after John but you need to talk to Tommy. He's in his office."

First Tommy's crude message he gave to Alfie, now this weird behaviour from her brothers. What the hell had happened here?

She took a few more steps into the house, crossing the grande staircase where Grace's oversized portrait greeted her, making her cringe. When she reached the door to Tommy's office, she gave it a quick knock before entering without being invited to.

"You better have a good reason to have such an anxiety-inducing message delivered to me."

Tommy stood in front of his window, not even flinching when he heard the rather annoyed tone of voice. Silence fell upon them. Half a minute passed, then a whole. She took a few steps towards him until she had reached his desk. It was only now, that she saw a pattern. He was dressed in a black suit, so had been John and Arthur when she saw them mere minutes ago. Suits were nothing special to them, but all black was a rare occasion, thankfully.

"Tommy... What happened?"

She crossed the distance between them and put her hand on his shoulder carefully, but still making him flinch. The few seconds they stood there like that felt like an eternity to her as she thought about all the people she hadn't seen yet, and John's anger. Was it Esme? Polly? One of the kids? Tommy clenched his jaw before he finally started to speak to the curtains

"Grace is dead."

[power-chords]

Often I feel very angry. It is hard to explain this even to my progressive Jewish parents – my Ashkenazi father, and my convert mother who frankly is more observant than I am – sometimes easier with fellow third generation millennials, depending on their milieu. My goyische husband, believe it or not, grasps it quite well because he grew up in Scarsdale. For the 18 years that we lived on East 70th our mezuzah was on the wrong side of the door. We never kept kosher. And yet I went to Hebrew school at Park Avenue Synagogue followed by Or Zarua which are both conservative congregations, a step up from reform and a step down from orthodox. We observed Shabbos, the high holidays; for a while I had a basic comprehension of the loshn-koydesh.

After I was bat mitzvahed I had no desire to see the inside of a temple again. This remained the case for many many years. You know what I learned about besides Torah? (Torah study, the ritual of Saturday morning services, was actually the good part.) Israel. At length. A country I felt no connection to whatsoever, that I had no desire to ever visit, that alienated me from my own Jewish identity as a diaspora New Yorker growing up in (what was, then, much more so!) a diverse neighborhood with kids from every ethnic and religious background imaginable.

You know what I learned NOTHING about? Yiddishkeyt. German expressionist cinema. Postwar American Jewish literature. Philosophy and psychoanalysis and dialectics and dialogics. Art, literature, theater, folklore. You would think that institutions theoretically devoted to the preservation of Jewish life in America would take a greater restorative interest in what the Nazis attempted to wipe from the historical record. You would be wrong.

The irony doesn’t end there. According to Dad my grandfather would not speak a word of German in the house – understandable after they've gassed your entire family to death – and he was resentful, for a little while, that on account of this he did not grow up bilingual. Why Martin refrained from speaking Yiddish around his American children had nothing to do with a rejection of Jewishness per se and everything to do with the guarantying of a more prosperous future. Metallurgy and manual labor sentenced him to a hard life and an early death. Despite chronic exhaustion and physical pain, he would bring my young father to public lectures at Yale on anything and everything related to the space program. He supported and cultivated his two sons’ every personal and intellectual interest. He ferried my grandmother to and from her performances along the Borscht Belt circuit, which back then was still a thriving scene. He was a state-raised orphan who lost everything and nevertheless managed to give everything. When she grew too old and infirm to do so herself any longer, he even cared for the cranky old bitch of an aunt who turned him away when he first washed up alone as a teenager on a totally foreign shore. I have tears in my eyes just typing this.

It is my parents and grandparents whose memory I hold sacred, the culture they swallowed or sacrificed in the hope of a new beginning – not for themselves, but for their loved ones. That a certain continuity could be transmitted and traced despite all efforts to either disguise or remake it, that there is an inextinguishable spark of recognition in language and expression and sensibility, is miraculous. It defies the nation state. And it will outlive the nation state.