#ever try printing 4 version of the same book

[magusculpa]

🏃‍♂️🔥🔥🔥 30 min til preorders end!! 🏃‍♂️🔥🔥🔥🔥

Zagreus makes a mad dash !!!! preorders end today Monday June 3rd

✨link in pinned✨

[twosides--samecoin]

How do you get your screen caps ??? they’re literally so amazing and perfect and I love them so much 😭

Hey gamer, thanks for the ask~

Prob a good place to mention that I take free screenshot commissions in Fallout 4! Free! Send me a poseprompt/NPC and in my downtime between fic chapters I'll see what I can do! You can browse my photos on my archive with this tag -> Fallout Screenshots. I can pose pretty much any NPC/animal. Long rambly post so there's more below the cut.

I was a film photographer before I ever was artful about game screenshots. I came up in the Ansel Adams school of thought. His whole thing was he'd hike up to a mountain with a large format camera on a heavy tripod. He'd see the resulting image in his "mind's eye" and imagine each and every problem possible he'd have to contend with in the creative process to get there. He was the most low-key, soft-spoken batshit crazy control freak artist who made each photo look easy. You'd never guess at the amount of time and work and travel it took him to take one photo. Even his simplest works make people feel ant-small compared to the arresting grandness of the American landscape's most boring viscera. I have several books of his and four of the official/authorized prints, and I bring AA up because I'm kinda insane in the same ways when it comes to screenshots. In my books, it should never be just an image, it should be the most elevated version of the image you can make given your current skill and tools available at that present moment. My Yeehawgust 2024 entry, Rocky Mountain High, is an example of that. A five image composite stitched in post processing with set and lighting design including hand-placed trees and custom terraforming of a map in Creation Kit.

The easy answer is Photo Mode. I have a 400ish-entry mod list that is built around taking photos, but Photo Mode is really the key because it allows you to rotate the camera and pause game time with a user interface instead of relying on console. I approach screenshots the same as my film cameras.

My simplest game -> upload pipeline are my candid portraits. I will notice the way light creates shadow on an object or a character will be doing something interesting and then I bring up Photo Mode to capture it. I then load the image in Clip Studio and adjust using correction layers; normally levels/saturation/brightness and contrast set to lowish opacity, a sharpness action then a crop and that's it.

My more complex game -> upload pipelines can be as "easy" as posing characters (mine often begin with premade anims/poses but the end result is almost always a custom-tweaked pose; I'm considering releasing a pose mod of my custom work) or as complex as set and lighting design. Sometimes that's as easy as using the settlement builder. Sometimes that's as complex as fixing up a model in Blender/Nifskope, or opening up Creation Kit and making custom tweaks to the world map because the way I need it to look doesn't exist in mods/vanilla. Depending on what I am trying to accomplish, it can take me several days to create a staged scene. Work on Chapter 15 screenshots started two months ago because I knew I would need a lot of time to test and iterate.

Uhhh what else? Most photos take between 10-30 test photos before I get it right. I also use 4k-8k textures; Jack, Livvie and RJ all have unique clothes and bodyslide presets. Shit gets weird when I forget and put RJ in clothes meant for Mr. Bowling Ball Deltoids himself, Jack. I manipulate game time and weather with console. I dislike most ENB and in my arrogance I believe there's almost nothing ENB can do for a still image that I can't achieve in post-processing.

I could go on for hours about taking photos so I will stop here! Thanks for the ask!

[popculturebuffet]

HCG: Garfield His 9 Lives Retrospective Finale: The BOOM! Comic Book (Commission for Emma Fici)

Happy halloween all you comic cats and welcome to the finale of my look at Garfield His 9 LIves! We've covered the cult classic book, the beloved specail and now we're onto the final entry: the comic time forgot.

So in the 2010's Garfield had a comic book done by Boom Studios, both an ongoing and a few mini series, initially written by Garfield and Friends and The Garfield Showrunner Mark Evainer, but by this point written by Scott Nickel. Nickel seems to primarialy work in kids comics, having done some of Sports Illustrated's graphic novels for kids. A real thing that exists.

So naturally with a new medium, it was time to once again take a stab at this concept. Honestly with the films going on I wouldn't mind if they tried to do a full film version with 9 new lives, but we'll see.

For now this is the last stab at the concept and is largely forgotten as the Boom Garfield comic didn't make a huge splash. It is currently being reprinted which is good, I hate when things fall into limbo betwene licenses and i'm still waiting for Image to put more than meets the eye back into print. and meant I could read the whole thing on comixology unilmited as it's recently added the garfield comics.

So fitting the medium, much like the book, 9 Lives III: Season of the Witch has each life have a wildly diffrent visual style, probably the most of any of these, with the artists involved really going wild. Out of the three it has the most visual range, and even the segments closer to garfield writing wise still look vastly diffrent. I love it and while a style or two dosen't work for me I applaud the variety. Nickel writes all 9 , the only time one writer wrote all of these, if not a massive departure as Jim Davis wrote the bulk of his 9 lives and Phil Roman oversaw the adaptation and has a director credit for the whole thing.

As I hinted at last time this one's a mixed bag as the first few segments.. are not great. But it picks up as it goes along. It's the weakest of the three and while I admit I defintely have love built up for the other two versions I don't here, going into it for the first time for this review, it's more that a lot of the segments fall flatter, some not taking nearly as big swings or trying to do the old narrative thing of looping in past versions of garfield's fast. Sometimes it works, but the better segments, with one exception, tend to just do thier own weird genre thing. It's time for 9 last lives, 9 last ways to loose under the cut as we see the good, the bad and the ugly of garfield.. and also garfield homaging the good the bad and the ugly.

So unlike the others Boom's 9 Lives was originally done as the last 4 issues of the ongoing series, two lives per issue and instead of a garfield life, we just get a full page intro from garfield instead of the one off blurb from the original book or similar intros in the specail. These are mostly fine, just fun little diversions to help set it up each themed to whatever life it is and linking them back to garfield. It's a solid wraparound that dosen't really have an ending as the last one is a scinetest theroising garfields future instead. It does however have my faviorite depection of johns hair i've seen

These are done by Andy Hirsch who looking at his website seems to prefer historical fiction for kids, a cartoony style but you learn something. He did do work for boom on adventure time, regular show and amazing world of gumball so it's not a shock he wound up here. He does really fantastic garfield work and i'd love to see him return to the franchise if they ever do comics again

Art by David Degrand

Cave Cat sucks. It just.. does. On the writing front Nickel falls into the trap most of the lives from the other versions avoided, the same one that made me hate King Kat: it's garfield BUT IN ANOTHER SETTING. Jon is his cave owner! Nermal gets mailed to abu dabi! fucking vito the pizza making man shows up for some reason! I get these are aimed more at kids, but kids expect.. more.

And the thing is looking into the artist.. David Degrand honestly slaps: he did backups for rocko, has a unique and fun chunky art style he just.. didn't get to go as far with. You can see this in the fact he did another garfield story, what seems to be issue 10 of the boom comics, that he , like with cave cat, put art of up on his site for his portfolio

This is so much more expressive and fun btu Cave Cat isn't. The writing really lets him down while Mark Evanier clearly let him have a bit more oomph to his weirdness. That and Evanier can be fucking weird in general, and it fit what they were going for more. Defintely going to have to review this issue at some point and check out some of degrands other works, but Cave Cat did him dirty. I can't tel lif he thought he had to hold back or not drawing monsters he simply couldn't go all out but the man is awesome even if his anthology segment isnt'

Art by Kari Smith I couldnt' find out WHICH Kari Smith made this as Kari Smith turns out to not only be a shockingly common name but lead to a few artists, none of whom SEEM to have worked on this. I did give it my honest best and the art here is decent, if nothing special and nothing like the other kari smiths I found. Granted that again could simply be boom editorial stepping in.

King Cat is fine, which you wouldn't think given how much I fucking hate the animated version. And it DOES keep garfield owning slaves for some reason, but they mostly feed him and fan him. They don't you know. .have garfield whip the piss out of assorted slaves or actively visit the pyramids. He's just doing what a pampered cat/advisor to his king probably would do.

The plot itself.. is kinda boring but at least uses the setting better: Garfield is the beloved pet/advisor to his king, being the one who suggests the pyramids and thus the one who inherits the throne. The king's evil vizer, you know the type, wants the throne instead and sends mummies, a plauge of rats and the god of death anubis against him. And I love how each backfire: the mummies are so dang slow he can just unravel them, he, as you'd expect from garfield, bargins with the rats giving them a bunch of cheese and Anubis.. is pissed the evil vizer interuppted his poker game and kills him.

Honestly.. this one's pretty good. I don't love it and having garfield have slaves is questionable as always, I don't really LIKE characters who own people outright on principal because .. i'ts slavery, I shoudln't have to explain why slavery bad or why a beloved cartoon cat shouldn't be practicing it, but they at least don't tdwell on it as much and use the setting for egyptian gags and in the style of the prince and vizer. it's not amazing but it's at least a marked improvment.

Art by Roger Landridge

Pirate Cat comes to us from Roger Landridge, who as a first for the artists for these stories has a wikipedia article: He started writing a deranged comic strip from 2000ad, The Straightjacket Fits, did a popeye series for IDW and to my delight is the same guy who wrote and drew the excellent Muppet Show comic for boom I've gotta cover one of these days. All in all an acomplished dude. his art style here is nice and expressive, a bit more cartoony than usual for garfield and fitting the story.

It's also nice to get an original concept, as while I don't entirely mind the boom comic recycling concepts, as they do new stuff with the basic premises each time, it is nice to get NEW lives as history is vast. And garfield as a pirate fits as well as a viking with him pillaging lasanga and on a treasure hunt against Jon. It's also the only one that does this past lives gimmick that works for me as Odie and Nermal as his crew, along with some other cats, just makes sense and nermal isn't just.. shoved in there as a button. While Jon as the antagonist is just.. inherently funny. It's hard to imagine Jon as evil but here we are. We also get Melvin the sea monster

I like melvin Give him and old eli a spinoff yesterday.

Art by Yehudi Mercado

So I encountered something entirely unexpected here... see turns out the artist for this one, also artist of Barkham Asylum and other childs comics.. got to write a marvel comic.. what if miles morales #4. Each one in this series was by a diffrent author showing miles as a diffrent marvel hero and for some reason his idea of "Thor but in brooklyn".. became..

I mean combining the two could be clever, combining brooklyn arcateture with asgards buuuut

I mean my god. He later apologized and agreed to donate his residuals to a brooklyn charity but my god. Anyways I mostly bring it up as it's infamous and it'd be weird if I didn't.. and because so far googlling anyone else involve just brings up "They did a bunch of other neat stuff I might check out, usually better than this" not "They did a racisim".

So anyway this story itself is good. I like Mercado's style here, nicely stylized and the first of this anthology to really stand out. The script is also great , with Evil Roy Gato coming into town to force them to print goofy novelty shirts so when it's invented he can send the work offshore and pocket the money! It's just such a weirdly specific and goofy idea it makes me giggle. And his defeat by clint eastwood garfield is delightful. Just typing the sentence clint eastwood garfield is amazing and it's this right mix of fitting, as they both have an excellent resting bitch face, and being fucking weird to have an icon of hypermasuclinity who once ranted at a chair represneting the president for some reason represented by garfield. It's a great segment and while it's marred by it's artist being a bit of a shithead, my hope is that mercado genuinely learned from this and gets a chance to do better. Also just to be clear marvel editorial ALSO deserves blame for that one as they approved it and thought nothing was wrong with it. Mercado is NOT blameless, but my god ya'll read this script and thought "this is fine".

Art by Brittney Williams

Brittney Williams is the first artist whose work i've actually seen before in the marvel series "Patsy Walker AKA Hellcat" a decent slice of life comic starring patsy with fantastic art. Williams was fantastic there and does incredible work here.

Super Cat is a golden age superman pastiche, which happens a lot but works due to putting it's own spins on it: their clark kent stand in is a copy boy, trying to pine after a golden age style dismissive lois, fight a nefarious villian in a mech suit in a world of delightfully drawn furries. It's a simples tory: super cat gets depowered and his new sidekick, odie , the newspaper's janitor who stumbled in on supercat's identity and becomes his sidekick and saves the day. It's cute, funny and gorgeous to look at, getting the right ballance between a golden age comic and parody, feeling like one while also having nice colorful modern florishes in it's art. Super Cat might be my faviorite of the 9+ lives, and is certainly my faviorite of this batch. It's fun, breezy and I may cover it in full someday and gets the feel of superman comics from the golden age down pitch perfect. Read this one if nothing else.

Art by Andy Hrisch

Andy Hrisch gets to cut loose a bit and I like that they let the wraparound guy also do his own segment. You can see more style with this one, with a bulkier sam whose close to garfield. This story leands heavier on comedy than babes and bullets and is delightful: Spayed accidently eats poisoned lasagna and has to figure out who in his rogues gallery poisnined him> The comic has lots of fun designs, reminding me of dick tracy a bit but in it's own style and the payoff for both thigns is great; Spayed spends the day grilling all his enemies.. and thus they all come calling to beat him up, with the real culprit being his secretary he wouldn't pay. He's forced to pay her (He was never poisoned).. but since the whole "pissing off his rogues thing" is thanks to her instead of just..demanding a raise, which is a lot but sadly realistic givne this climate, he leaves her to get pummeled by his enemies. Sam's a jerk here.. but he's a likeable jerk versus Slaverfield. A guy being a touch anti heroic and leaving an asshole to other assholes is a bit more tolerable than "WHIP THEM WHIP THE PISS OUT OF THEM.. FIELD"

Art by Frazer Irving

Frazer Irving is an artist who seems to specialize in horror and being unsettling. Lab Cat ironically is more of a horror comedy, but irving DOES do a great monster design for the cat.. his humans... welll

This is also the only story i've seen talked about entirely for it's art. And it's a mixed bag. I do think Irving does great horror work here, if with dodgy humans.. but the offputting feel dosen't quite match the story, where a bumbling pab tech is forced to look after a giant monster and gets it t calm like any other cat. BOth sides of Lab Cat aren't bad: the idea this big horrifying mutation that man has created is just as much cat is ever is adorable, and the tech leaving the cast hastily and his exasierated reactions.. are genuinely funny. It's just not completely strong as it's clear the writer and artist werne't on the same page as much as with say the first 9 lives "Primal Self". It stillg ets points with me for doing something so diffrent with the basic concept and is on par with sam spade as far as the takes on a life we've sene before go. This one honestly grew on me for it's creatvitiy and unique garfield design and while it dosen't mesh perfectly, I like it a lot more than I did the first go round and a LOT more than the first two segments.. or our last.

Art by Genivive FT

Space Cat is a throughly disappointing finale, more on par with our first segment. It's a star wars riff.. which as a child of the late 90's and early 2000's i've seen far too many of those to be impressed by "OH you made Jon the emperor instead of darth vader, you made arlene leia and garfield han good for you"

It's only two highlights are making it's odie super intellgent, it's C-3PO. C-3POdie, which they shoudl've gone with is fun.. but we just dont' get much time with him or Ace Nova. Ther'es intresting bits here, I like the ending reveal that this was all a setup to get the infinity brick and that Ace.. ends up resetting time and space

But i'ts agressively bland. The art is decent, nicely done digital stuff that reminds me of a more polished versoin of John Allison's early work on scary go round before he started handrawing the strip again

Though the artist has done better work as seen by her deviant art instagram and her own style is better.. which does kinda note the pattern: these artist seemed to be restricted somewhat by whatever paws, boom or the writer wanted, compared to the previous two versions where there was little, the only restirction on the animated one being budget and censors but still not enough.

Overall

Mixed bag was my thoughts going out of the graphic novel.. but on this reread as I reviewed it it's generally.. okay. It has one truly awful segment, a few okay ones, and a lot of geninely great ones. It's the weakest of the three easily, as it's clear the writer for all three wasn't al ltha tup for actual experimenting the way Jim Davis was. He leans more toward humor for ALL segments instead of trying something diffrent with even Lab Cat being a horror comedy. I have nothing against comedy, especailly since this is garfield, but what made 9 lives in both previous versions so unique is it blended comedy stories you'd expect with diffrent styles of comedy, like the three stooges, or horror, noir , biography and more. This 9 lives dosen't seem as keen to experiment in the story ,though the artists involve all try their best, I feel there's WAY more that coudl be done with this concept in this medium and hope we get another crack. I"d even love for some of these artists to come back as they can do more bu it feels like SOMEONE told them to be more garfield. 9 Lives 3: The Dream Warriors is still well worth reading for it's good segments, but feels a bit downgraded, the way it feels like Davis slowly homognized the franchise. It wasn't super deep to begin with but it feels like its experimented less and less as it goes and it's to the franchises detrment

9 LIves Boom Ranking

Super Cat: I gushed about this plenty. It's fun, breezy and unique for a superman parody using the standard golden and silver age setup. Sam Spade: A solid noir spoof with great art Cowboy Cat: A fun western romp with good art from a guy who really needs to sort some shit out. Pirate Cat: Garfield's really handsome when he's on a boat Lab Cat: Despite it's clash of art and words it still stands out Garfield Wraparound: Pretty standard garfield stuff, pretty fun King Cat: Better than the original but still fairly bland compared to the rest Space Cat: Bleh Cave Cat: The artist deserved better.

So that leaves one bit of buisness left. We have 30 segments over three versions, we've ranked them all indvidually.. but which ones are the best? The worst? The middle? Let's see

Overall Ranking

For this i'll also be thrwoing in the babes and bullets special, because why the fuck not.

Primal Self Diana's Piano Super Cat Babes and Bullets (Special) The Exterminators Court Musician (Special Lab Animal (Special) Lab Animal (Book) Sam Spade (BOOM!) Cowboy Cat (BOOM!) Space Cat (Special) Blues Cat Stunt Cat Babes and Bullets (Book) Cave Cat (Special) Garfield (Book) Garfield (Special) Lab Cat (BOOM!) Pirate Cat The Vikings In The Beginning (Book) In the Garden (Specail) The Garden King Cat (BOOM!) Cave Cat (Book) Garfield Wraparound In the Beginning (Special) Space Cat (Book) Space Cat (Boom) King Cat (Special) Cave Cat (BOOM!)

And while I didn't intend it that way, this ranking was entirely by the seat of my pants I do like that it ended up with one of each near the top. I do recommend checking out all three versions of 9 lives if you haven't, it's a trip and well worth the time. Not all segments are created equal, but what's good there is great and well worth your time. Thanks for reading

Next Time: Thanksgiving.. the only garfield holiday done in it's actual month. What a concept.

[myonmukyuu]

Art Summary: 2022

It's that time of year again! This makes my 9th year of art summaries... Kind of insane to think about.

It's been a very eventful year and I have a lot to say. Extended art performance review under the cut 👌 (3k words lmao)

Previous: 2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021

ABOUT THE COMIC:

So! What happened this year? Well, my book happened. I'm not sure if anything else happened ahfhasjkdkasf

See, I actually cheated this art summary a tiny bit. Usually I use the upload date of the art to place it in the summary. But if I did that for this year, there would be at least 4 blank spots. That's why February, April and May all feature different pages of the same comic (CH 9).

I really did spend the first half of the year finishing my comic. I only released 2 chapters too (the finale and the epilogue). In March I took a week and a half off to work on a short for Ayumu's birthday, but otherwise slaved all the way until June for the webcomic.

Then I spent July and August doing all of the redrawing and edits required for a physical release. Those who have a copy of my book might already know but the first two chapters have been redrawn. I also had to go through the entire comic, fixing it so that it could actually be printed (because the webcomic version definitely can't be printed as it is.) It was super time-consuming. Like, I can't even begin to describe. Moving forward I'll try to draw every comic so that it's printable from the beginning so I don't have to deal with reformatting ever again...

I'm pretty sure it was in August that I had the first copy of the book done. Then the preordering period opened in Septemeber... and now we're here! People are just now starting to receive their books. Sorry it took so long guys ;w;

I'm very happy though... Depending on who you ask, 100 sales might not be a lot, but it's a lot to me. To think that so many people would spend the money to buy this kind of product is just so surprising to me... It's expensive and all of the content is already available to read for free!!! So it's really surprising and I'm so incredibly grateful. That's why I went through the trouble of creating that golden special print for everyone! It was quite a bit of money out of my pocket, but I really wanted to show my appreciation.

As a side note, the 100 sales were really exhausting to pack. My body was sore in November because of it LMAO

So I'd say this year was great for my comic! Both its webcomic finale and its physical release. But this summary isn't meant to be about my comic, it's supposed to be about my art and me as an artist.

ABOUT MY ART:

So how did my art go this year?

Looking back I feel nothing but exhaustion. I know I'm happy to have my comic released but, my body and mind is still very very tired. I feel like I took at least 2-3 weeks off or more from work throughout the year to keep the comic on track. It's just a huge undertaking.

What I'm getting at is I feel a tired and... a little disappointed. But don't get me wrong, I don't feel regret! It's just that... well every artist draws for their own reasons. For me, I love getting my ideas and stories out there. So I guess I felt creatively-starved spending about half a year polishing and releasing an already-complete product. Also technically starved - you don't really see much improvement if all you're doing is cleaning up art. I didn't really have a lot of time to draw because of the physical release so I often felt like I wasn't doing enough.

And honestly that's my main sentiment. While I feel happy and satisfied with releasing the book, another part of me feels like she didn't do enough.

In terms of technical skill, I definitely saw improvement this year. It's like something clicked in me and I had a better understanding of atmospheric lighting. CH 9 and the epilogue are probably some of my favourite bits of colouring I've ever done. I just love how it turned out. In CH 9, the gradual setting of the sun to create this orange/pink/purple colour palette was so fun to implement. And in the Epilogue, this blue/green/yellow rainy day came out perfectly. It was a rainy day, but unlike CH 7, it wasn't a dreary downpour but something more hopeful instead. I have a love for creating atmosphere and especially through colour. And I think I did well there.

In the realm of black/white, I also feel lots of improvement! I'm becoming more confident with monochrome and am starting to push it further. I'm not satisfied with my skill level, but I think it's promising. I may be more confident with creating tone through colour, but I'm sure I can do the same without it!

This year I also did quite a bit of painting. I really love how the October and November artworks came out. Honestly it was around this point in the year, I had the most time to output works as the only comic work I had to do was purely admin (until I started packaging things in November). I could go into technical depth, but this post is long enough. Just know that I'm happy with the little leaps my colouring skills made.

GOALS FOR 2022:

For my art summaries, I've been doing a performance review styled thing where I create goals for the upcoming year. Let's take a look at what goals I wrote for 2022 and how I went with them.

“I want to finish my comic series”

Passed with flying colours! I think the comic release was a success. This goal is a little cheap of a goal though, since I don't think I'd let myself live it down if I gave up.

“I also want to continue to try things that are outside of my comfort zone. I want to see myself try things like different angles/perspectives and more complex backgrounds.”

Now this goal... I think I made progress here. I'm not sure if people noticed but I did definitely try to slip in different angles here and there. I'm particularly good at them... but I'm trying! And I think that's the least I can do. You won't get good at something if you don't try after all. That being said, I should push backgrounds more... I rarely do them 😅

"I want to do more illustrations/quick drawings on top of my comic work."

My comic work was suffocating a lot of the time. But I did try to draw on top of it. I haven't really talked about it, nor shown anyone, but I started learning copic markers this year (borrowed my friend's set!). So in the background I've been doing 30-60 minute traditional art exercises. I'm not terribly diligent, but diligent enough that I already think it's made an impact on my art. See, I'm only doing monochrome copic markers (I'm not confident enough to do colour just yet). I'm pretty sure doing monochrome markers has helped me with my manga skills 😂. I have a better understanding of tones and values because of it! Isn't that kind of amazing? Come to think of it, it's linked to the next goals.

"I want to learn to paint."

"I want to learn to draw faster."

While I still have a long way to go, somehow my marker exercises have helped me with these too. The understanding of tones/values has made an impact on coloured work and painting as well. And because I'm doing shorter pieces, my speed has increased a tiny bit. I'm sure if I keep at it, I can continue to develop better habits!

"I want to draft more quickly and be smarter about it."

Now this goal is something I have just been trying to mentally direct myself to. It's working... a little bit. I still need to try harder.

See, I think my drafting process is really slow and inefficient. This results in me spending too much time drawing a comic because I've drafted like 5 extraneous pages. If I wanna increase my output and lower my workload, I have to learn to be more clever with how I compose each page. I think I got a tiny bit better. Need to work harder on that for sure (it's quite hard to just "learn" though...)

MOVING FORWARD:

With the past year in mind, how do I want 2023 to go? To be honest, I still feel so exhausted because of 2022, I definitely need some time to recover, so let's not go too crazy next year.

But before I create my next goals, I wanted to talk about where I want to go in general - the grand scheme of things. Like I mentioned, I feel a lot of disappointment, like I wasn't doing enough. Which is contradictory because I also feel like I did too much with how exhausted I am... But the source of that disappointment is really tied in with how I feel about my art skill on a technical level.

I'm nearing a whole decade of hobby artist experience. And I don't feel like my art shows it. While there are things that I am better at, there's so much that I struggle with.

I want to become better. I want to improve.

It's hard to explain but I feel like I'm not doing the best I can for the stories I want to tell if I don't keep pushing and learning. And I love what I make, so I want to do those stories justice.

So it's really important to me that I keep trying to improve.

In the long term, I think my dream is to be like a pro-manga artist. Please don't make fun of me LMFAO. But there's more to it. See, I don't actually want to be a pro artist. I never want to compromise my creative vision for the sake of pandering to an audience. I sincerely think I wouldn't be able to succeed without doing that so I'm content with drawing as a hobby. A programmer as my day job and a manga artist by night...

I want to be as skilled as a pro some day though.

To be honest, I think the distance is so great that it's basically impossible. So my true goal is a little lower than that.

My true long-term goal is to be... a little comparable to a pro.

And I don't think I'm at that point. And I don't want to use "being a hobbyist" as an excuse to allow myself to remain like this.

I think it's terrifying actually. Where I'm at with my art.

I'm really happy people enjoy it, and don't get me wrong - I love my own work. I love drawing. But I think it's important to be critical of it - if I want to be able to reach my goals.

I think if people read this far, they might be thinking something like "but you're already so good!" or something to that effect. But I don't think it's true.

I think it's terrifying because there's so much I'm not good at. Comics are scary because they're an amalgamation of so many different skillsets. I possess some of these skills but there's just so many different ways that I feel that I'm lacking.

For instance, my art itself has such stiff lines. I'm not great at perspective. My art isn't dynamic. And this is just a few examples of stuff related to my illustration skills.

But comics are more than that.

There's the individual panel compositions that come together to create a unifying page composition. The visual flow - controlling how the reader scans the page. The storytelling skills - pacing, dialogue, story beats. The dialogue writing skills. The typesetting.

I think there's so many places I'm weak with and it's scary because it's difficult to just pick something to improve at when it feels like everything is wrong at once. It's so easy for me to pick up some manga from a shelf, flick through and think "this artist does x better than me, how can I learn from them?" but learning is hard and I'm not good at it so I'm just stuck with this awareness that I could be better.

But at the end of the day, I just have to pick a direction and go, right? I think that's all I can do and that's okay. It's just hard to shake the feeling of drowning in my own mediocrity.

Sorry I didn't mean to bring down the mood of this art summary.

I promise that at the end of the day that I love drawing. This is just my overly-critical side shining through. I don't have too much natural talent, just a very stubborn mind. I kind of need to be critical so I can push myself in the right direction. And I'm fairly happy with the way I've been pushing myself through these past years.

I'm not particularly fussed if my works receive a lot of traction or not because what's most important to me is the way I see my own work. My personal satisfaction.

And that's just tied with doing the best I can!

So with that in mind...

GOALS FOR 2023:

"Improve at atmospheric lighting"

This isn't particularly ambitious because it's something I'm already working on, but I know I can push lighting even further. So expect to see me experimenting more and more!

"Participate in a paid online course"

Now this is linked to my wall of text just now. I feel very overwhelmed so I think having an unbiased and experienced teacher's guidance could be valuable. I'm eyeing ones that include personalised feedback. The only concern is that it's hard to find the time for things like this when I work full-time.

Also it's a bit scary having a professional roast me, but I think it'd be good for me.

"Continue to practise traditionally"

This is linked to all of my technical art gripes. I think continuing to do traditional art exercises will help me with a lot of my weak points.

"Continue to be ambitious with art"

I don't mean ambition on a work-load level, but I want to continue to push out of my comfort-zone. Keep trying those weird angles and backgrounds, be more experimental!

"Start planning that next story"

I always have a billion different story ideas in my back pocket that I am itching to tell. I also don't wanna die of overwork though. So lets keep the bar low.

I have many great ideas, so I want to start outlining the next one! This is just a vague goal to remind myself to keep thinking ahead.

"Rest up."

I think this is the most important goal. Like I said I feel completely and utterly exhausted this year.

So I want Myon in 2023 to have more time for herself. Improve her health, catch up with her relationships, spend more time watching movies and playing video games.

Don't work too hard next year.

EXTRA REFLECTION:

I seriously don't know if anyone actually reads these reflections. I wonder what kind of person I come off across... (probably a try-hard 😂)

I wanted to talk about one more thing. It's not really linked to goals, just the future in general.

So I've been drawing for Nijigasaki for 2 years now. I think a lot of people are moving on from it though.

To be honest, I think that's okay. I'm kind of used to the people around me shifting into new interests. I think I'll still be with Niji for a long time to come. I just have a lot of large scale ideas and will probably stick with them unless something sweeps me off my feet.

I mean, even if my ideas take too long to actualise while I'm interested in Niji, I'm also open to converting things into original content. There are just so many stories to tell...

It makes me wonder why my readers enjoy my work and how they interact with it? Are people a fan of me? The ship/characters/fandom? Or the stories?

Probably some mix of the above. It's not terribly important why though.

I'm sorry that I'm not very good at keeping up with everyone's interests. I think the world moves too quickly and I draw too slow and I can barely keep up. But I'm a bit too stubborn with my own desires so I keep working on my own things without another thought. So maybe that apology is a bit empty eheh

But I hope people will continue to enjoy the stories that I make.

I should be less harsh on myself though. 9 years of art isn't something to just shrug off.

Anyways, before I keep rambling. Happy new year everyone. Let's keep working hard in 2023!

[nightmarist]

some video games i grew up with and love:

Rage Racer (PS1) - simple racing game, best OST

Azure Dreams (PS1) - pokemon dungeon crawler with dating and town building side quests. collect monsters, climb to the top of the tower to find out what happened to your father.

Alundra (PS1) - adventure fantasy rpg puzzle game. you Will need the guide book. beautiful art. interesting story. you enter people's dreams to save them from certain death while also trying to fight evil in the real world.

Brave Fencer Musashi (PS1) - silly action adventure fantasy, save the world from evil with two swords as legendary hero Musashi

SaGa Frontier (PS1) - Turn based JRPG, a bit clunky but fun. You choose one of 7 origin heroes, play their personal stories, and meet many other companions to defeat evil together. Only SaGa series game I've played.

Secrets of Evermore (SNES) - your dog runs into a laboratory, now you have to travel across time to get home and face monsters. The dog changes breeds and has special powers each level.

DISNEY. Lion King, Timon & Pumbsa, Toy Story (SNES) Aladdin, The Little Mermaid (SegaGEN) All disgustingly hard for Capitalism(tm) reasons but still very fun.

Heroes Chronicles series (PC) - fantasy strategy game series. Chess with monsters? Interesting but super simple story. One of my favorite games to zone out with.

Might and Magic VI: The Mandate of Heaven (PC) - Fantasy party dungeon crawling RPG, one of my favorites.

Myst (PC) - Puzzle game of the ages.

Syberia I & II (PC) - A good puzzle narrative game, well acclaimed.

Return to Mysterious Island (PC) - Another first person puzzle game. If u cant tell I really loved these. Good game, good anrrative, very short and not as difficult as previous.

Darkfall: The Journal (PC) - scared me as a kid. First person puzzle game with ghosts. Think of a gentler Myst or Riven.

Micro Machines (SegaGen) - Silly racing games. Multiplayer

California Games (SegaGen) - More silly sports games

Ballz (SegaGen) - A super silly fighting game. Everyone is made of little balls. Think of. Round minecraft.

Detective Barbie (PC) - Solving various easy mysteries

Barbie: Race & Ride (PS1) - Barbie & horses <3

Barbie: Super Sports (PS1) - Barbie skating, snowboarding, etc <3

Digimon World 3 (PS1) - Turn based adventure fantasy, love the card minigame

Digimon Rumble Arena (PS1) - Simple fighting game

Star Ocean: Till the End of Time (PS2) - Scifi/fantasy JRPG, interesting fighting system and lore. I otherwise have never played the other Star Ocean games.

Red Ninja (PS2) - Fun stealth game. Pro And Con: Main Character big titty ninja girl you can easily panty shot.

Yu-Gi-Oh: Duelist of the Roses (PS2) - I wish this version of YuGiOh existed IRL, I fucking love this system. I want to print out all the cards and a mat to play.

The Last Remnant (XBox 360) - A square JRPG. I'll be honest there are so many better games both play and lore, but the unique battle system stole my heart.

Additional games I love but I think are more well known:

Zoo Tycoon

Age of Empires / Age of Mythology

Kirby 64

Sonic, Sonic 2

Starcraft

Warcraft 3 (favorite warcraft game, 10/10 recommend)

Diablo 2

Jak & Daxter (Jak II, Jak III)

Spyro Trilogy

Kingdom Hearts (the first one mostly)

Mortal Kombat 3

Mortal Kombat: Armageddon

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

Castlevania: Lament of Innocence

Dragon Age series

I have every Final Fantasy up to XIII, but my favorites are V, VIII, IX, and X-2 in that order.

I also have every Silent Hill up to Downpour. My favorites are 1, 2, and 4.

Lore: I played Silent Hill when I was 6 or 7 years old and liked it even though I was bad at it. I played Tomb Raider when I was the same age and was too scared of the bear to ever get past the first 10 minutes.

[fizzyxcustard]

Covert Eyes (16)

Prologue| Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6| Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15

Fandom: Spooks

Pairings: Lucas North x OC (Amy Holland)

Warnings: Stalking behaviour, anxiety, language, sexual references, angst, smut, heartbreak, gunshot wounds and recovery.

Summary: Lucas takes notice of a young woman, Amy, but his obsession and want to get to know her begin to spiral out of control. Amy knows that her recovery won’t be quick, and she now has another decision to face. 

Official soundtrack list:  here

Comments/Notes: If you wish to be tagged in any of my tag lists for fics or characters, please let me know, and stipulate what you want to be tagged in. The above image was made by me using images found online. 

I also wanted to stipulate, and I don’t mean to be rude, but if you ask to be on my tag list and never interact (even if just a ‘like’ on the chapters I post) then I will remove you after a few weeks. Please try and show some kind of engagement, or ask to be taken off my list if you’re no longer interested.

For those of you who have seen the series, I’m messing around with the timeline a lot. So there are characters who are in the story together who wouldn’t have been in the series.

Amy waited for Lucas to come home, and he did, two hours later. She was sat on the sofa, propped up against a stack of pillows when the front door opened and shut. 

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, appearing in the doorway to the living room. 

“Come and sit down,” Amy instructed with a smile. She patted the empty space next to her and turned ever so slightly to face him as he sat down. “Lucas, it’s okay. I get it. I do. You’re protecting me from the dangers, and I’d do the same for you if I was in that position. But, how can I turn this opportunity up? It’ll help better me as a person.” 

Lucas listened to Amy, knowing that he would only drive her away again if he protested. His steel blue eyes remained focused on her as she spoke, and in that moment he knew that he had to stop holding on so tight. As she finished talking, Lucas sighed. “Aim, you know I love you. That goes without saying. I know that my want to protect you is pushing you away from me, and ultimately, I’ve got to let you make your own choice. I just…” He raised a shaking hand and cupped her cheek. His bottom lip quivered as he contemplated his next words. “I couldn’t live without you. And if anything happens to you again, it’ll be my…”

“It will not be your fault,” Amy insisted. “Stop carrying all this blame.” 

***

Three days later and Amy found herself sat in a grey walled ground floor meeting room at Thames House, MI-5 headquarters. Ros and Harry sat opposite her with a file open, checking all security documents against her. A copy of her passport, driving licence, birth certificate. Amy signed each printed document and Ros compared them against her original versions. 

“We’d like to have you come back in for an induction, and then you’ll be required to undergo two months of intelligence training. The location is yet to be confirmed, but all hotels and travel will be booked and paid for,” Ros explained. “All of that information will be available once your full security clearance has been completed. I’m going to put you forward for our top level of security vetting, and that will require you to be interviewed. The interview will normally be around two or three hours long, and will ask very personal questions, so please don’t be put off by that.” 

“I understand,” Amy replied. 

Harry leaned forward, his elbows on the table. “Our only issue is your relationship with Lucas. If you should be required to work away from the office or be available on the ground, we won’t let you two travel or stay together. It’s purely protocol, nothing personal to either of you.” 

“I understand that we’d be more of a hindrance to each other,” Amy replied. “If something serious happens then we’d be looking out for each other, not the objectives of the operation.” 

“I was hoping that when you begin that Tariq will take you under his wing; he has a lot of knowledge and skill in cybercrime and technology, but he’s permanently based here and hasn’t yet gotten field training,” Ros explained. 

By the end of the meeting, Amy had filled in a variety of documents. Her hand had started to cramp with the amount of writing that she had completed, but she was relieved that the process was underway. Harry had advised that they hoped to get her into post by the very latest December. 

Amy shook hands with both Harry and Ros, and left the room. Lucas was waiting outside the room, planning to take her for lunch on his break. 

Harry turned to Ros. “Do you think we’re doing the right thing here?” 

“Having second thoughts?” 

“No, she seems a good candidate. I’m just apprehensive about her not going through the full application process. What if we miss something that a psychological profile would pick up?” 

“I don’t think we’ll have any problems with her, Harry. I like to think I’m a pretty decent judge of character, and I’ve watched her interaction with Lucas closely. She stands her ground with him when it’s necessary. I think she’s the more level headed of the two of them and seems to mediate situations. Maybe she’s the natural calm that we need.” 

Amy and Lucas walked slowly down the street, hand in hand. Each day seemed to be easier to handle; Amy’s pain was becoming less every time she woke, and sitting or lying down was becoming less of a chore. 

At the small café where they ate, Lucas sat next to Amy rather than opposite. His hand kept brushing down her thigh under the table and he secretly began to yearn for physical intimacy again. He missed the feeling of her naked body pressed to his and the feel of himself enveloped inside her. But the last thing he ever intended was to push and appear selfish. 

As if she could read minds, Amy leaned in to Lucas. “Maybe tonight I can see if my body is finally up to satisfying this frustrated libido.” She grinned at him and saw the lust rise in his eyes; his steel blue irises seemed to darken when he was aroused or angry, becoming the colour of a stormy sky. This time and her hand crept up his thigh. 

Lucas had to inhale sharp at the feeling of her touching him and saying such words. It was causing a stir inside his jeans, and he was conscious of the fact that if he became too aroused now, it would only bring about more frustration that afternoon. 

Amy noticed his intake of breath and then shifted her hand. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “Later, I promise.” 

“Don’t hurt yourself just because of me.” 

***

At home, once Lucas had finished his shift, Amy made good on her word. Dinner wasn’t even a consideration as Lucas walked through the door. Amy took his hand and walked him to the bedroom, never uttering a word. 

Lucas undressed Amy slowly, popping the buttons of her blouse and then lifted her camisole over her head. Immediately his eyes focused on the white pad that was on her stomach, just left of her navel. 

“Don’t look at that,” Amy told him, and then kissed him. 

The heat rose, and within a minute, both of them were completely naked beneath each other’s gaze. 

Lucas kissed down Amy’s body, taking care and not missing an inch. However, when he came to her stomach, he peppered kisses at her covered wound. Then he placed his forehead to her abdomen. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. 

Their lovemaking was slow, painful at first for Amy as her body naturally tried to shift beneath Lucas. But her want of him and the gathering tempo of the beating at the juncture of her thighs, trumped the pain. They rode together, gathering speed as their climaxes began to approach. 

Lucas’ deep groan at Amy’s neck caused a huge shift and she felt that familiar crescendo. A tsunami washed over her, completely submerging them both in electricity, and then peace. 

Panting, Lucas smiled at Amy and kissed her one last time before rolling to the side of her. 

***

It felt so good, yet so alien. A slight familiarity that had become warped in time. A faint memory from years past. Amy looked at the antique style diamond ring that now rested on her left hand. It was a single diamond, just under a carat, surrounded by beautiful vine patterns which formed a platform for the stone to sit on. When Lucas had taken her into the various jewellery shops, no ring caught her attention…until this one. Still, she couldn’t deny that it brought back memories of Adam. It caused memories to come forth, the time when she jumped at the chance to be engaged to be like everyone else; seeing it as a proclamation that someone loved her. But in reality, he was just as overwhelmed by societal pressures as she was. 

Amy watched Lucas at the counter, the white light behind the display case illuminating his face. Would she have so quickly and instinctively took that bullet for Adam like she did Lucas? 

Then, at a restaurant that evening, after buying it, Lucas slipped the ring onto Amy’s finger. The two of them had been suspended in that moment, kissing across the table, while all other customers went about their business. A private moment in public, shared between only those that mattered. 

At two weeks after Amy’s discharge from hospital, she began to consider returning to work. Now that a new job opportunity was on the horizon, which she had formally accepted, Amy weighed up whether to continue on in her Work Coach role, or stay out of work until the end of the year. 

“Once you start the job, it’s going to be intense, so take some time for yourself,” Lucas proposed as the two of them sat at the dining room table one evening. There were two mugs of coffee between them, the following course to their dinner. “We’ve agreed that I move in here anyway, so I can support us on my wage.” 

“I have a little bit saved, but not a lot,” Amy said. 

“Keep that for the wedding fund,” Lucas said with a grin. 

And that was exactly how Lucas and Amy began the next stage of their lives together. Amy remained out of work and formally handed in her notice, to terminate employment with DWP, in the second week of September, just two days before her planned security vetting interview. Lucas moved in to Amy’s flat, having handed back the keys to his own place, and was now signed on as a partner tenant of the flat with Amy. 

***

By the time that November came, Amy had been given a formal start date with section D at MI-5. 25th November. And then her intelligence training would commence in the new year, giving her around five weeks to spend with her team. All security checks had been completed successfully. 

On the morning of 25th November, Lucas took Amy out for breakfast. Back to where they first met all those months ago. 

Amy was on edge, fiddling with the sleeves of her black and white spotted blouse. 

“You’ll be okay,” Lucas whispered, and took her hand in his. “Everyone knows you’re starting today and I’ve told them to be on their best behaviour.” 

Most of Amy’s first day involved meeting new people, signing documents, including her contract of employment, waiting for system access and being given her official work pass and work phone. She remained with Ros for the majority of the day, shadowing her almost, and even sat in on a meeting regarding an upcoming operation. New terminology and abbreviations passed between all the members of the meeting, washing over her. 

Amy listened to the conversation of the meeting and couldn’t help but smile as Lucas spoke up, giving a debrief of surveillance that had been conducted a week earlier and was now known to be connected with the new operation. Jo, a beautiful young woman with short, bleach blonde hair was Lucas’ field partner, spoke, and Amy couldn’t help but feel in awe of her, and immediately detected a stab of insecurity within herself. 

At lunch, Lucas took Amy out of the office and curled his arm around her waist. “I don’t like having to share you with so many people,” he whispered in her ear, then chuckled. “How are you feeling about it?” 

“Everyone seems really nice. It’s just all the terminology that you use which is a little confusing at the moment, but I’m sure I’ll pick it all up in time.” 

Ros later agreed with Amy that she would work to the same schedule as Tariq, as both of them were desk based officers. “Sometimes we may request you to come in during unsociable hours, which is part of your contract. So if you stick to Tariq’s hours, shadowing everything he does.” 

Amy sat at her new desk, which was next to Tariq. “Did you hear that?” she asked playfully. “You’ve got to entertain me now.” 

“I did indeed receive the memo,” Tariq replied. “I clock off at half five, and I’m back in at ten tomorrow, but will probably work until around seven to get more hours in. Is that okay with you?” 

“You’re the boss.” 

“Looks like I’m going up in the world.” 

Jo smirked at Lucas as he sat down at his desk. “And I seem to remember you telling me months ago that she was just somebody you knew when I saw you looking at her photo.” 

“And that was true. I did know her,” Lucas replied. “Now I….know her a little bit more.” 

“I’m happy for you both with the engagement. Have you set a date yet?” 

“No. She wanted to get started in this first before thinking of the wedding.” Lucas couldn’t help but watch her from across the large office space. She was all his, and he could bear all to her. Nothing was to remain unsaid. He watched her laugh at Tariq, and all he could feel in his chest was love, deep and overwhelming love. She had declared her love through such a selfless act of sacrifice; would Lucas ever have the chance to show that to her in return? 

***

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[dirty-brainrot]

(Cat Cafe)

Oh god, first oneshot post... I proof-read this so many times.

Anyway,

Pairing: Jotaro Kujo³ x Reader

"Hey Jotaro, do you wanna visit a cat cafe?"

He didn't know why he agreed to his red-haired friend, he could've been doing something else like sleeping or smoking (anything that didn’t involve people, preferably). He doesn't hate exactly cats but he doesn't like them either, although he wished it was an aquatic-themed cafe instead.

After school had ended, Jotaro walked alongside Kakyoin who was pretty hyped about going to the cat cafe, he had not stopped talking about it since he mentioned it over at lunch.

The conversation was one-sided because of Jotaro's quiet nature. Sometimes he would hum or grunt in acknowledgment.

Finally arriving inside the fur-filled cafe, the two tall teens spoke to the store clerk and they went over some rules and guidelines.

Inside the cafe was decent-looking. Cute paw prints were decorating the cream walls, every object was cat-themed as expected but overall it had a vibe to it.

There were only a few people inside, talking and eating. The cat caretakers/waiters doing their job.

"Hey isn't that Y/N-chan?" Kakyoin whispered gaining Jotaro's attention and pointed at you, who was tending to a black cat.

You're friends with Kakyoin and he would sometimes invite you to have lunch with them. Jotaro doesn't mind it, as long as you're quiet and don't blast his ears off with squealing and fangirling. And of course, Jotaro intimidating the crap out of you, you barely talk with them. But there are times where you would get very talkative.

His cold gaze wandered to your figure who was indeed feeding a black cat. "Let's go find a seat, Jotaro." Kakyoin spoke and began dragging Jotaro to a table, littered with cats.

"Couldn't you at least picked a table with less cats?" He grunted, the table had at least 4 cats around it. But to poor Kakyoin's demise and Jotaro's delight, the cats started going away leaving Kakyoin to whine. "Look Jotaro! You scared them away!"

Kakyoin's whining was cut short to you arriving at their table with a black cat on your shoulder, making the cherry boy gasp.

"May I take your order?" You asked with a shy smile. It was rare to see the big bad delinquent visit a cat cafe but seeing his cherry loving friend, he was probably dragged along.

"You work here? And you have a cat on your shoulder!" Kakyoin asks along with stating the obvious that you indeed have a black cat on your shoulder. "Yes, I do. I don't know why but this lil' fella follows me everywhere." You scratched the cat's head.

"That's so cute, having a little cat follower." Outside the cafe, you would've looked like a witch but seeing that you were working in a cat cafe it was pretty normal. "Anyways, what would you like to order?"

They both looked at the menu on the table. "Do you have any cherry-flavored snacks here?" You chuckled knowing his love for cherries. "Sadly, no." Kakyoin pouted before ordering something else, Jotaro just ordered a normal latte.

"Alright, I'll be back with your orders." You said while putting down the black cat and handing them the brochure filled with information about the cute cats in the cafe.

Jotaro watched you walk away, his cold gaze never leaving your figure until he felt something soft and warm on his lap. "Oh! That one is called 'Qtaro'" Kakyoin stated with a chuckle while flipping the page of the book. "Huh, it says here that Qtaro is quite a distant cat and barely interacts with other cats..." The cat purrs on Jotaro's lap making Kakyoin smile. "Seems like Qtaro likes you."

Jotaro and the feline had a little staring contest, two ocean-colored eyes stare into each other. Soon later, you arrived with their drinks on a tray. "Here are your orders..." You trailed off, "Well, that's strange.." Whispering the last part while handing their beverages to them. "Qta never lays on people's lap aside from me."

"Oh? He kinda reminds me of Jotaro." Kakyoin took a sip of his drink, you giggled at his statement. Qtaro also reminded you of Jotaro, it was strange. Like Jotaro, the cat would stray far from people and wanted only peace, and sometimes you could feel Jotaro's gaze on you whenever you're in the same class as him same as the feline would do whenever you were working at the cafe.

"Also Y/N-chan, can you introduce some of the cats to me?" You nodded at his request. He quickly drank the rest of his drink, then stood up to follow you. The cat hopped off of Jotaro to follow you, while the huge man just watched from his chair. He doesn't know why but ever since you tagged along with Kakyoin he slowly became attracted to you.

He couldn't help but get jealous whenever Kakyoin made you smile or laugh or just get your attention in general.

Right now, you were introducing Toffee to Kakyoin. Nearly every cat ran away from him except Qtaro since he's following you but at a distance. Toffee, the most friendly and interactive cat in the cafe had rejected Kakyoin.

Kakyoin started sulking on the floor and you couldn't help but stifle your laugh. "D-don't worry Kakyoin. Pffbt- If it helps, if I ever turn into a cat I won't run away from you." Kakyoin only sulked more.

Unable to suppress your laughs, you busted out laughing. You tried to quiet down before gaining some more unwanted attention.

Unaware of the Jotaro looming behind you, you squeaked when you felt a rough hand land on your shoulder.

"Introduce me to some of the cats too." His deep voice notifying you that it was only Jotaro. He didn't know what he was doing, it just came out of his mouth. Confused at his actions, you still obliged.

"Follow me." You gently grabbed his hand on your shoulder and dragged him to the other side where cats had gathered, leaving the sulking cherry boy behind.

Both of you sat down on the floor, then you began introducing the cats to him one by one, all of them seem to have taken a liking to him. It was a cute sight, cats have gathered to Jotaro and some had even climbed onto him. Even Qtaro was on him!

"How did you manage to get their attention?! They all kept running away from me..." Kakyoin sat down beside you and pouted.

"Maybe Jotaro-kun is secretly a cat whisperer." You joked while petting a Siamese cat.

"So Y/N-chan, you never told us you work at a cat cafe!" Kakyoin said, trying to grab some of the cat's attention away from Jotaro. "Well, you never asked." You stated, grinning smugly at your sassy response.

"Touché. But when do you work here?" He asked, turning his attention fully on you since the cats won't even notice him.

"Every Wednesday to Friday at around 4:40 pm and my shift ends at 7:00 pm." You respond to him while helping Jotaro remove the cats on him.

"Oh, so that's why you don't hang out with us that often. I thought we might've scared you away." Smiling, you said "As shy as I look, you two don't scare me." Like a liar.

'Well, Jotaro-kun looks a... little scary...'

Kakyoin looked at the cute cat clock on the wall. "It's getting late... I need to go home before mom temporarily bans me from playing video games." You nodded and stood up with them.

"Oh don't worry about the drinks, I already paid for them. Think of it as a thank you for helping me last week with my math." You smiled at the cherry man, making the emo man jealous. Kakyoin rubbed the nape of his neck. "You shouldn't have..." He smiled and thanked you.

You accompanied them to the door, Kakyoin waved goodbye at you while Jotaro just nodded at you.

.

.

.

"Hey, Kakyoin, let's visit it again tomorrow."

-----------------------------------------

Here's an alternate version. 🌚

-----------------------------------------

"Oh don't worry about the drinks, I already paid for them. Think of it as a thank you for helping me last week with my math." You playfully winked at Kakyoin making him blush and stutter a thank you. From that little interaction, Jotaro had enough.

They walked outside the cafe, Kakyoin bidding you goodbye while Jotaro asked him to walk ahead. Confused by his actions, he nodded and walked away. 'He's been acting strange today... He's more quieter than he used to...'

Jotaro walked back into the cafe looking for you, your coworkers were nowhere to be seen giving him the perfect opportunity. "Oh hey Jotaro, I thought you left..?" You tilted your head in confusion as to why he hasn't gone home yet.

His cold gaze shifted to your figure and walks towards you by the cat feeding station. Unexpectedly, his hands were suddenly on the wall by your sides, trapping you. You felt your cheeks heat up "J-Jotaro..?" You whisper, starting to feel somewhat scared and intimidated by his height.

"I thought I don't scare you?" His deep gruff voice was deeper than before and his warm breath, that smelt faintly of coffee, tickled your face. "I- I-" You stuttered trying to form a sentence. He chuckled at your flushed state. You hugged the sack of cat food, trying to calm your burning face.

It was silent, besides some casual cat mewls here and there.

"Go out with me." He stated boldly which made your face much more redder than before. "H-Huh?!"

"Good grief woman, are you deaf?" His hands left your sides and went straight into his pocket, looking away he spoke again. "If you don't want to-"

"Yes!" You quickly interrupted his sentence. You could faintly see his ears turn pink as he pulled down his hat. You giggled, the redness of your face starting to fade.

"I would love to, Jotaro-kun."

[bicycle4two]

say you wanna, say you wanna be || Sam Drake x Reader || Chapter 4

Summary: Sam isn't looking for a girlfriend and, frankly, you don't think you'd be a good one anyway, but you two aren't some one-night stand and it's been a long time since either of you thought of each other as a convenient booty call. This is something more, something the two of you didn't realize would be. It's uncharted territory. And there is no other choice but to figure out how to navigate through it together.

Pairing: Sam Drake x Fem!Reader

Tags(ish): developing relationship, implied/non-explicit sexual content, romance/fluff/hurt/comfort, age difference (though reader’s age is not stated), switching povs (second person reader, third person sam), no y/n but reader has a nickname

C.1 || C.2 || C.3

Chapter Four:

Here’s the thing.

Sam always knew that he and his brother were destined for something great. And, well, he can’t say that greatness didn’t fall on them. Yeah, sure, he spent thirteen years in jail. Who hasn’t? But despite that little hiccup in his life, Sam thinks that he’s done pretty well for himself. He’s discovered a lost city or two, with and without his brother, held some artifacts that were rumored to only be from stories, and tried one of the cigars from Sully’s collection. He even has a place to call his own now, his name on the mailbox downstairs, a doorman who greets him.

Honestly, it’s all he’s ever wanted growing up. More, even. Back in Panama, all he thought he wanted, besides, well, getting out, was to find Avery’s treasure with Nathan. It was that thought that kept him going most days. The idea of finding four hundred million worth of treasure! That was the dream. He and Nathan could finally settle down, or, rather, their version of it. Because they weren’t going to have a normal life. That was never in the cards for them growing up, but it was a nice thought, not having to worry about food or a place to stay.

And Sam hasn’t had to worry about that for a long time. He felt empty after Libertalia, that his story was only just beginning while Nathan’s was coming to a close. There are still things he wants to see, to do.

Time, he realized long ago, was something that he could lose so easily and he wasn’t going to let that happen again.

So he went on more adventures, climbed higher mountains, picked up little trinkets (a habit he got from his little brother, starting his own little collection) along the way to bigger, better things. (It’s just a shame that some things were destroyed along the way, like statues and buildings, but what can he say? It runs in the family.)

But tonight, after a long flight and an uncomfortable chair, all Sam wants to do is go to her and crash on her bed.

Because although Sam has a place to call home, a big apartment that’s filled with his stuff, clothes, souvenirs, a fish…it feels empty. Cold. Even if he had all the money in the world, Sam can’t shake off that feeling that he shouldn’t have too much. That in just a blink of an eye, all this could be gone. Because that has happened before—moving from place to place, packing what you can immediately get your hands on.

Sam wants riches, searches for them all over the world, but deep down he knows he doesn’t know what to do with them. That even if he dreams of more, he only knows how to live with enough.

So, he only has one pillow, a blanket. A towel and an extra, shampoo (the kind that has body soap mixed with it. 2 in 1! What a deal) and deodorant. Clothes, he knows to get the sturdy kind, the kind that won’t rip easily, that stains won’t be too obvious on. Shoes, too. He gets the ones that have good traction, that won’t chafe his feet, won’t deteriorate when wet.

The fish, Jim Hawkins—Jimmy was an attempt to liven up the place. To make it seem homey, to keep him company. But there’s only so much you can do with a fish and Sam can’t deck out Jim’s aquarium any more than he already has. He’s afraid that something would fall on the poor thing, that maybe there’s more inside Jimmy’s castle than meets the eye.

“Welcome home.”

“I’m ho…ome?” Sam drops his bag to the floor, more from being too tired to carry it than shock. He’d resigned to seeing her tomorrow, that it was too late to go over now, but there she is, curled up on his couch, toes peeking out from under a throw blanket. It’s hers. Sam recognizes it easily. It’s the same one she has thrown over her arm chair, the same chair Sam likes to lounge on when he’s found a good book to read.

“How was your trip?” She looks so cozy on his couch. Hands wrapped around an orange mug he’s never seen before, book on her lap. She doesn’t look like she going to get up and Sam can’t blame her. He sort of wants to curl up next to her, somehow squeeze his large frame in the remaining space. “Get me anything nice?”

“I, uh,” Sam’s swallows, blinking. “I’m not dreaming, right? Like, I didn’t get knocked out when I fell off the mountain?”

“You fell off what?” She’s moving to stand up, mug thankfully placed back on the table despite her haste, and Sam doesn’t want her to do that.

“No. No, don’t get up.”

She gets up anyway, blanket falling to the floor, and, oh god, she’s wearing pajamas, oranges printed all over her cotton shorts. She’s by his side in seconds, hands reaching up to his face, bringing him down to her height so she can get a better look at him.

“Ouch,” Sam says, the movement too fast for his aching body. His muscles are sore and the trip home didn’t do them any favors. But she thinks that it’s her fault, that she’s hurt him and her hands are in the air, her eyes wide with both surprise and concern. “It’s not you. It’s just…,” Sam hates to say it, makes him feel old, but, “My back. I hit the ground pretty hard.”

“I feel dumb for asking…but are you okay?” Her hands are back on him, her touch gentle and giving comfort Sam didn’t know he needed. She doesn’t seem to know what to do first, how to check for injuries, but the thought is enough, her being here is enough, makes him feel better.

“Well, I’m alive,” Sam brings up his hand to push her hair away from her face. It’s soft, slightly damp from a shower. Oh. He probably needs one of those. “Nothing a hot shower can’t fix.”

“Can you…,” she hesitates, sucks her bottom lip between her teeth and Sam bends down on reflex, damn his back, and kisses her. She relaxes, sighs, and pulls away, blushing. “Uhm, I, huh?”

“Can I…?” Sam prompts, smirking.

“Now I’m embarrassed to ask.”

“C’mon, princess, don’t leave me hanging. What is it?”

“Can you, uh, do you need help?”

“Do I need help?” Sam grins. “In the shower? Well, there’s only one way to find out.”

…

Sam mentioned it to Nathan before, when they were in Italy, trying to find their way into the Rossi Estate. When you’re locked up with no hope of being let out, it’s the little things you miss the most.  

And Sam didn’t think that there was much to miss anymore now that he was out. He can ride his motorcycle anywhere he wants, go to his own bathroom any damn time he pleases, shower, eat, sleep, drink without permission. He can call Nathan and Sully and Elena without request, without reason. He can stay indoors or go outside without a schedule. He can live. The simple joys of being alive, Sam is able to enjoy them now, in much a greater magnitude than he has ever before.

Citrus, he remembers telling Nathan, he had missed the smell of citrus. The novelty of fresh fruit. The refreshing scent, the taste. The sweetness on his tongue.

“Clementine,” Sam gasps out without thinking, his mind stuck on things he missed and maybe this last trip had gone on longer than he liked.

He’s brought back to earth when the movement stops, even when he adjusts his grip, tries to get her going again, to move her hips the way he knows they both like. He opens his eyes to look at her when she doesn’t budge and she’s frowning at him, there’s a wrinkle between her eyebrows. An angry look.

“That’s not my name,” she says and it looks like she’s going to get off of him and, goddammit, why does she keep doing that?

“What?” Sam’s confused, blood not quite in his head.

“You called me Clementine.” Her tone is upset. Hurt. Sam’s never heard her speak like this before. “Who the hell is that?”

“Shit,” Sam breathes out. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

“Yeah. No shit.” And there she goes, lifting herself off of him as quickly as she had sunk onto him half an hour ago. Sam lets out a grunt. His ribs are bruised yet she flattens her hands on his chest to support herself. She’s doing it on purpose. She was careful before. “I didn’t think you’d be the type to do this, but I guess I was wrong.”

Sam’s cold without her, for more reasons than one, and he knows that if he doesn’t say something, anything, now, she’s going to be out that door before he can even finish saying Hail Mary. And no amount of prayer, to any sort of god out there, is going to bring her back.

So, Sam swallows down his pride, and says, “It’s you.”

“Yeah, I heard you say that before. ‘Just you.’ How can I-I be so stu-stupid?” Her voice wavers and shit she’s crying, isn’t she? He made her cry.

“And I mean that. Hey, come here.” Sam doesn’t want to hold her too tightly, afraid to hurt her, but he has to know that she isn’t going to leave, that she’s going to stay and listen to him. She turns to look at him, tears flowing down her cheeks, nose red, lips quivering, and Sam’s heart just about breaks. He did that. He’s never felt more like an asshole. “It is just you. It has been since the start. I promise.”

She doesn’t say anything. Just waits. And Sam feels like he’s back in school, standing in front of his class, giving a presentation.

“I, uh, did I ever tell you that I was in prison once?” Sam manages to get out. He always knew he was going to have this conversation with her, knew that with how their relationship was going, he couldn’t keep her in the dark much longer, but he had hoped that he would at least be wearing pants for this.

“No,” she breathes out, wiping her nose with a tissue she got from his bedside table. Huh. Was that tissue box always there? Anyway. “But I figured.”

“The tattoos?”

“No,” she says again and by some miracle there’s a smile on her lips. It’s small, gone with a blink of an eye, but Sam knows what he saw, has all of her smiles memorized. “Someone like you just has the talent of getting into trouble.”

And Sam can’t help it. He lets out a laugh because it’s true. She knows him.

“Well, I can’t deny that. But anyway,” He clears his throat. Was talking always this hard? “When I was in prison. In Panama—that’s important. This was when I was in Panama. I was there for thirteen years and, Jesus, time moves differently there. It’s like the days can’t go by fast enough but next thing you know a year has passed by, two, three, and you’ve lost your youth because some asshole decided to get all stabby with the guard.”

The words are spilling out, like he can’t get them out of him fast enough. Because he needs her to know, to understand.

“It wasn’t my fault. Well, okay, I was there on purpose at first, but those thirteen years were like a punishment for what that asshole did. I was supposed to die there. We were escaping, we were almost there, almost free, but I got shot and I fell. The guards found me and got some ‘doctors’ to patch me up. They made sure that if I was going to die, I was going to die because I rotted in that hellhole.”

Sam can see that she’s listening, that she’s hanging onto every word so he continues, because now that he’s started, he can’t stop.

“I was only in my twenties. There was so much I wanted to see, to do. Nathan and I had plans, dreams. We were going to go all over the world. But I was stuck there. Alone. And no one knew that I was alive. It’s like I stopped existing. Sometimes.” The words are stuck. But Sam forces them out. “Sometimes I, uh, I wished it were true, that it would be better if I was just gone. That I had just died back there.”

She’s crying again and Sam wipes her tears for her, brings her closer to him. Because these tears aren’t because of him anymore, but for him. And isn’t that something? Having someone cry for you.

“You don’t realize how much you have until everything is practically ripped away from you. I didn’t have any privacy. I…I couldn’t take a leak when I needed to. You just end up thinking, cuz there really isn’t much to do but think, about what you had. How life was good. And I, I just missed everything. I missed Nathan, of course, he’s my little brother. But, it’s the small things, too. Like riding my bike into the sunset. Grass beneath my feet. A glass of cold water. And…”

“And?” She asks, eyes focused on the gunshot scars on his abdomen, fingers tracing their shape. It tickles.

“And the smell of citrus.” He makes her look at him because this is important. The most important thing. “I missed the smell of citrus. The taste. And when I was in Japan, I thought about it again. The things I missed back here, back at home. And it’s citrus—you. I missed you so much, you wouldn’t believe it. I could have called Nathan. Elena, even. To come over here but I called you because,” Sam clears his throat once more. “Because I wanted you here. I had hoped you would be here when I came back. And you were.”

She’s quiet, eyes searching. And Sam’s poured out his heart and soul and now he’s got nothing else to do but wait and see what she does with it. Is this what being honest is like? Being vulnerable? It’s torture. Sam hates it. But he can also think of worse things and that keeps him rooted in his spot, trying to keep his face as honest as he can. Years of hiding is finally coming to bite him in the ass.

“You must have been so lonely.” Is what she says, hands back on his gunshot wounds. She’s transfixed. Almost like she’s been wondering about them forever. And maybe she has. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“Eh. It’s all in the past,” Sam says with a shrug. Because it is in the past. He’s made his peace with it. Mostly. Some things are harder to shake off than others but he’s okay now. He’s built from strong stuff, a sturdy breed. “But, y’know. You’re, uh, killing me here.”

“Killing you?”

“Cuz I don’t know what you’re going to do,” Sam admits. It’s all truth from here on out, huh? “I can’t read you right now. Are you gonna leave? Punch me in the face? Report me? Please don’t report me. I’d really hate to go back to jail. Nathan would kill me. And I still have a few years left to go, y’know?”

She smiles and Sam realizes that he was rambling. He takes a breath, feels himself calm down. Damn. He needs a cigarette. Maybe two. Are his hands shaking? They’re definitely shaking.

“I think you have more than a ‘few years,’” she says, fingers tracing scars. Sam twitches from her touch. Is this what it feels like when he touches her back? “Especially if you stop smoking.”

“I’ve heard it all before.”

“You should start listening.”

“Ah. Someday.” Sam takes her hand in his, mostly to stop her stop her from tickling him, but also to bring them back on topic. Because she still hasn’t said anything. Nothing to give him an idea where they go from here, if there is somewhere to go from here. “So?”

“So…” She leans close, talks in a whisper, like if she speaks any louder, something might shift, break this bubble that they’re in. “So, you have to tell me what you want, Sam.” It’s an echo of what he said to her months ago, a vulnerable, fragile moment just like this. “So I know what to give you.”

But this time is different because she’s always been more generous than him, always been willing to give.

And Sam’s always been someone to take what he wants and he’ll be damned if this time is any different.

“It would be nice if you stayed.”

“Stay? I can do that.”

...

Chapter 5

Read on AO3

...

Sam’s apartment was inspired by @missdictatorme​ ‘s post

[funtimebunnyblog]

I'M BACK!!! 🥰😍❤ Did you all miss me? I'm happy to say that I've finally gotten some WiFi where I'm currently living and updates are gonna try to be more steady here in the future but I can't make any promises because I get very busy with my work 😅😇 Please continue to bear with me!

In other words, a while back I wrote the OG version of this little short fic on A03 but I realized that I had never posted it here! 😱 Nevertheless, I decided to write the Part 2 to this and then decided to remaster that first part before posting it here! 🙂🙂🙂 I'm thinking about turning this into a little mini series 🤔🥰

Anyways, I'll stop rambling! Please enjoy! 😚

Pillarroomates (Chapter 1: Roommate wanted)

(This is dedicated to Dagdoth and Sureynot; 2 of the best bad influences I could ever ask for 🥰😍❤)

The steady click-clacking of keys filled the pleasant silence of the little kitchen, Kars typing away on the laptop before him at the table.

It was just a little after noon, a time where he usually put down his work for a brief session to sit back in silence and enjoy a cup of coffee, or maybe a mug of tea depending on his mood, with whatever baked-good had been whipped up recently. Today however, he chose to cut his little break out of schedule completely to get a jump on the deadline of the month that he was currently picking away at.

Hunched over, eyes glued to the screen, one could've swore he was a living statue perched like that so quietly if it weren't for his typing fingers.

The sweet smell hanging in the air came much closer as Wamuu strode over to the table, a soft smile was painted across the mans lips as he placed an oven fresh cookie on a plate down next to the mug of black tea his Master was letting steep at his side.

"Thank you, Wamuu." Kars said quietly, watching the blonde depart in his peripheral vision for only a beat before regaining his sharp focus on the sea of numbers staring back at him.

Kars had his own room with a desk to work in of course but he always found himself enjoying doing work down here this time of day. The heavenly smell of the kitchen when something was being baked and the pleasant background noise of the radio chiming softly, sometimes accompanied by Wamuu humming along, was something sort of relaxing to Kars.

Relaxing around here tended to be something rare too, as there never seemed to be a dull moment in the lives of the Pillarmen these days.

Not in this neighbourhood, no.

The younger man hummed in response, heading back to the stove to finish scraping fresh cookies off the pan to place on a rack to cool. He was sure Santana would make an appearance soon to try one, with the lovely smell filling the air and all.

Santana could never stay asleep (as heavy of a sleeper as he had the tendency to be) holed up in his room when there was something yummy being cooked.

The times where he appeared the quickest was when Kars flicked on the coffee machine first thing in the morning, the red-head manifesting at his side at the very first spew of hot caffeine never failed to nearly give him a heartattack; especially when it was 5 in the morning in a dark kitchen.

Kars' head lifted, cocking an eyebrow as there suddenly came a knock at the front door; three evenly spaced thumps on the wood. The thought of another complaining neighbour was the first thing to cross his mind, making him sigh as he moved to get up from his chair.

"PIZZA'S HERE!!!"

The sounds of heavy footfalls coming at a rapid speed from down the hallway accompanying the cry stopped him in his tracks.

The plum-haired man grimaced, Wamuu glancing over his shoulder with a frown, as none-other-than Esidisi sped by; the one hand clutching the towel around his waist was the only thing keeping it from blowing away completely.

Despite only catching a glimpse of his speedy companion, Kars didn't miss the fact that the other was sopping wet and trailing water.

Esidisi had simply lept out of the shower the second he heard the knock at the door, leaving with only a towel (just barely even) and the foamy suds that were still clinging to his hair and his body.

No doubt about it, he was dripping all over the place.

And all over his clean floor too.

Kars clicked his tongue, more than tempted to sigh again.

"Really, Esidisi?" He called out to the other.

It was hard to tell whether he was more displeased with his state of soapy undress or the fact that the oldest Pillarmen had gone and ordered yet ANOTHER pizza this week with only God-knows-what on it.

Sure, he the others found themselves actually partaking in "Human food" casually these days. Wamuu even went so far as to teach himself how to cook as a hobby to fill time around the house when he wasn't going to the Gym or to work, but Esidisi had become something of a strange enthusiast on the matter.

Some people in this world got a little riled up over something as simple as Pinapple being added as a topping on a pizza but Kars had a feeling those people would have an absolute fit listening to Esidisi's phone order of a multi-fruit pizza (consisting of: oranges, apples, watermelon and strawberries) with cheese, olives and pepperoni.

He was starting to wonder if his longtime companion was simply doing it just to see how far he could push a Pizza place with his barrage of odd orders until they yelled at him or worse, barred him completely from the place.

His question was only met with laughter. "I decided to ask for Mac and Cheese and Jalapeños on it this time!" Esidisi called back, voice echoing off the walls, as he finally reached the front door.

Wamuu's nose crinkled at the very sound of that, choosing wisely to direct his attention to his cookies once more.

Kars decided to follow suit and do the same with his own work.

He supposed it wasn't really his problem, therefore; he shouldn't say anything.

☆☆☆

The advertisment had been a strange one for sure, but really, you had no choice but to at least look into it. It never hurt to try and you were already desperate enough as it was.

Apartments and open housing in the area was becoming a rarity at best these days, this busy time of year didn't help things either, and you had been scouring the internet for every opportunity or opening there was to move in with someone in this portion of the city.

Sadly, you had turned up empty handed quite a few times.

The last one you had looked into had been great; a nice building, nice seeming people, decent budget; but alas, the people who put out the advert took it down just a day later.

They had decided to give the opening to a close friend of theirs who wanted to come across the country and live with them instead.

You had been starting to consider checking the complete other side of the city and trying to squeeze yourself in somewhere there or maybe even just going with the option of moving cities completely! The hassle of finding a place was just becoming too much until... this one happened to pop up.

☆ Roomate requSWIGGITY SWOOMATE, WE NEED A ROOMATE!!11!!!1!

We are Four Men seeking out a Human roomate to live with us in our rented house.

4 bedroom, 1 bath, 1 kitchen; upstairs, downstairs and basement.

Location: Western side of the city, 929 Bizzare av.

Rent and chores are divided equally among us.

Requirements as followed:

• Must be a CLEAN Human.

• Human must not bear the surname of "Joestar" under ANY means necessary.

•Must be actively working and have claims to have the ability to hold their job.

• Must be willing to contribute to the household via chores and yard work when necessary.

• must be CUTE!!!

• Mus

•

• Must like llf6io78fjjl0

•

• Jo9sjw6jnsjej27ebeolu

• Jsjsij wkk d18kkjs lkdjsjsns52jsjjsnend2njsmdv 6272jsndbdhs2672 jd Djjsija bsij eeskdnne9s782728 jd bjejrn rnusjjsj

• the human must not be loud

• It would be most appreciated if the Human was a mannered person, who holds appreciation for similar hobbies we do. -W

•

Ask within to apply! ☆

You couldn't help but wonder if whoever had written this advert had been drunk at the time by looking at the grabbed mess that took up half the page.

Better yet, you could only hope this was a real advertisement and not some sort of stupid prank.

Either way, you were determined to find out today and claim this oppertunity before anyone else got the chance.

Glancing down at the print out you had made of the ad at the Library, you sighed as you kept going down the street. You had been walking all morning and were beginning to wish you had the foresight to pack a snack or a drink for your seemingly endless sojourn for this supposed place.

There was no picture put onto the advertisement, even a proper description of the place would've been nice, and finding a direct address wasn't exactly a piece of cake to you.

Nonetheless, you kept going. Stopping at every house you passed in hopes to spot a matching address; finding nothing but different numbers and barking dogs tethered in yards.

With every different number meeting your eyes, the possibility of this just being a fake ad just kept growing and growing in your mind.

You were even starting to consider just giving up entirely when, at last, there it was. "292" the numbers were bolted to the front porch, the 9 starting to tilt to one side.

It seemed nice enough. The lawn was well kept, the walkway however looked as if it needed to be redone. The building was a sunbleached blue, probably a nice clean periwinkle once upon a time, but now leaning a tad white and staring to flake. The place was definitely in need of a touch up.

This was the place, now if someone was Home to even just talk to you about this ad that would be great.

You gathered up the courage to leave the sidewalk and start up the overgrown walkway, the wood of the porch whined under your feet as you stepped onto it. A couple of chairs, a book carelessly left behind in one, a little cage sat all by its lonesome in the far corner, and a big unmissable stain (probably coffee) caught your eye on the wood.

The word "Pillarmen" was scrawled on the name card over the mail slot of the front door.

A strange surname, you had never heard of it before, but it must've been safe to assume that it belonged to someone here. Presumably one of the men who had made this advertisement in the first place.

With only a moments hesitation, clutching the print-out in hand, you reached out and rapped on the door hard with your knuckles, then stood back and waited.

Silence... You took the opportunity to fix your appearance slightly, suddenly becoming a little self-conscious, smoothing out your shirt before clasping your hands behind your back neatly and putting on your best smile.

First impressions were important, most especially a first impression made at the door after all.

There came the sounds of voices, too muffled for you to hear through the walls, followed closely by the unmistakable thundering of footsteps coming closer and closer from within.

Finally, the door flung open.

You felt your eyes go a little wide, the smile drained from your face as you craned your neck back slightly to meet the gaze of the very tall and very muscular dark-skinned man that now stood before you.

Belatedly, as your eyes followed the droplets of water that were dripping off him, trickling down every inch of his muscular body and pooling at his feet, you realized he was practically naked; clutching only a fluffy white towel around his waist.

The towel didn't look nearly as fluffy and white as his hair, however.

"Uh--" Your tongue swole in your mouth as you both found yourselves staring at one another, seemingly sharing a similar dumbfounded moment.

He blinked owlishly.

"You're not the Pizza delivery." He said matter-of-factly, breaking the tense silence that had fallen between the two of you.

Your head shook violently, broke from your sudden stupor, pulling out the slightly crumpled piece of paper out for him to see.

"Uh-- I--... N-No! I'm not-- I'm uh.... here ab-about the-- the roomate ad...?" You sputtered, the words felt as garbled as alphabet soup falling off your tongue, you felt a nervous sweat beading on your skin under your clothes as it hit you for a second time that wasn't wearing any. "Oh! If uh-- this is a bad time I-- I can come back later!"

His face lit up suddenly, eyes shimmering like sapphires. "Oh!" He cried. "I forgot about that!"

The massive man turned, calling back over his shoulder deeper into the apartment.

"Kars! There's a Human here, they saw our advert!"

You happened to be so gobsmacked, still reeling from the slight shock of the very first of your encounter, you hadn't even noticed he distinctly used the word "Human" there.

"What?!"

You couldn't see past the mans hulking figure but you could very well hear the scraping of a chair in the distance, followed by more thundering footsteps heading towards the door.

You blinked as yet another larger-than-life sized man made his appearance, pushing past the first with a frown. The both of them looked almost comically squashed where they stood taking up the whole doorway.

This man was just as tall and as muscular as the first. His skin was like ivory, framed by dark cloth wrapped from his neck to the top of his head with only a tuft of deep purple hair dangling precariously out over his pointed nose.

More importantly, very much unlike the first, this one was fully clothed.

Clad in a dress shirt that matched his hair, slightly unbuttoned to just give you a peak of the buldging muscles he had underneath and the sleeves rolled up to the elbow, neatly pressed black dress pants and house shoes.

Kars blinked in surprise as he caught sight of you at last, eyes scanning over you. He honestly hadn't expected someone to come to their door about the advertisement they had put out so quickly, they had only put it out less than a day ago.

If anything, by the way it had turned out, he was surprised someone responded to it at all.

"Please, come in." Kars told you, making his best attempt to save this lousy first impression.

His surprised look was short-lived, turning sharp as he directed it onto Esidisi. The other man smiled sheepishly, turning and retreat back to the bathroom to finish his shower without the pizza he had left it for...

☆☆☆

☆Previously...☆

Kars hummed, reading over the advert for a 4th time with pursed lips.

He had listed all the necessary information about them and the living situation and even put down a few requirements to set the bar for any Human who would happen to want to apply.

However, even with the ground rules set, it still just seemed a little too bare to him.

"Hmm," Kars peered over his shoulder towards the living room doorway; he swore he could hear more of the crunching of the flaming hot cheetos Esidisi was enjoying rather than the actual program he was watching. "Is there anything specific you would like to add to this before I post it?"

"Shay they mush be cute!" came the reply though a mouthful of spicy junkfood. Kars could only hope he wasn't getting crumbs all over the couch again, not to mention getting too handsy with the T.V remote eating those things...

"That isn't what qualifies as a 'requirement', Esidisi..." he sighed.

The other swallowed, now blessed with the ability to speak much clearer; the crinkling of the cheeto bag hit Kars' ears next.

"Well excuse me for having standards." He heard his oldest companion grumble, drowned out by the crunch of more food.

Wamuu's head peered out of the kitchen, the pie he was just about to place in the oven cradled in oven-mit hands. He had decided to try his hand at fudge pie this time, having mastered apple so quickly.

"It would be nice if the Human were a Warrior as well," he said, disappearing from Kars' sight again as he went back into the kitchen, carrying the pie to the awaiting oven. "Or perhaps if they were interested in going to the Gym or baking as I do..."

Kars sighed, "Wamuu, I understand you would like someone to train with but this--"

"The Human must not be loud."

The Pillarman practically jumped out of his chair, the tiniest yelp escaping his lips as he swiveled his head to find none other than Santana looming over him. The sheet lines imprinted in the others face indicated he had just arisen from a deep sleep; most likely venturing out of his cave and into the kitchen to see what Wamuu was up to.

Even after thousands of years, he still couldn't get used to the youngest Pillarman sneaking up on him.

It probably didn't even count as "sneaking" anyways as Santana was just so naturally quiet he just happened to go unnoticed until he spoke up.

Kars opened his mouth to make an attempt to speak again, only to be cut off one more time as Esidisi finally made his own appearance; leaning over the purple-haired man to see the advert in the works.

"See, this is all wrong." Esidisi told him, frowning at the screen. "This is too formal! If we're going to get someone at all, we need to grab their attention somehow. Here, I'll fix it!"

The other practically clamored over him, cheeto bag tucked under arm as he reached over to type on the computer, deleting the majority of the title Kars had written out and already replacing it with one of his own creation.

Kars belatedly realized the others' hands were still coated in hot cheeto crumbs, smudging the keys of his pristine computer with imprints of red and orange as he typed away.

"Esidisi, stop this at once!" He commanded, trying to push him at arms length, only to be met with a hand pushing back and smooshing against his face. The smell of spicy cheese flavoring hit his nostrils, only fueling his fire. "This is my work computer! I'm the one writing this advertisement!"

Santana merely stood back, watching the two elder Pillarmen fight over the computer in silence. Esidisi was pushed by Kars into the keyboard a handful of times before their focus was solely on one another and no longer the ad.

"Get your grubby hands off me!" Kars growled as the other straddled him in the chair, his face now smudged like his keyboard. They kept pushing on one another, a clumsy slap war already underway, obscenities and curses getting mangled as they argued back and forth.

"You never let me--"

"I told you that--"

"I wanna do it! Just let me--"

Santana peered down at the computer curiously, uninterested in watching the display before him any longer.

The red-head typed out his own request before picking up the device and carrying it to the kitchen for Wamuu to see and whatever he wished; Santana ignored the sound of two bodies toppeling out of the chair and hitting the floor as he left.

Kars didn't even get to see the ad (or rather; the remainder of what qualified as an advert) before it was posted online by Santana.

[akatsuki-shin]

I... I don’t often call out anyone specifically using social media before, but... I saw this among the reblogs in my first post about MXTX novels English release announcement and I feel that this is just too much...

I’m not going to tag this with the fandom tags because this is literally just my personal rant, and I don’t want unpleasant things to appear when people are happily browsing the tags.

I also censored the person’s blog name. It’s not like I want people to mass attack them.

But I do have some things I want to say about this kind of mindset.

And this is gonna be a long post, so I’ll cut it with "Read More” later below as not to disturb anyone’s browsing experience.

Why do they have to split the books into multiple volumes?

First, you do realize that the original Chinese version and other languages versions are also in multiple volumes that don’t always be published on the same date, right?

SVSSS has 3 volumes, MDZS has 4 volumes, TGCF has 5 volumes.

With the English release, both SVSSS and MDZS get +1 volume while TGCF gets +3 volumes.

Why you ask?

Have you ever considered how long a single Chinese word would be if written in alphabets?

The word “人” in Chinese only needs 1 (one) character, while in English it would translate to “P E O P L E” = 5 (five) characters.

The word “知己” in Chinese only needs 2 (two) characters, while in English it would translate to “C O N F I D A N T E” = 10 characters, or “S O U L M A T E” = 8 characters.

Now apply this to an entire novel. FYI, TGCF has more than 1 million word count in Chinese, so you can do the math by yourself.

I mean, just go watch the donghua or live action in YouTube. One single sentence in the Chinese sub is often translated to two or more lines in the English subtitle.

And have I mentioned that the English release will have:

Glossary

Footnotes

Character Guides

And I’m going to repeat this once again: In China and other countries that already get their official releases, it is also NOT always all released on the same date as a single set/box.

So yes, (not) surprise! For the Chinese release and official releases in other countries, you also often need to purchase multiple times, pay shipping fee multiple times, and wait for certain period of times until all volumes are released.

It doesn’t only happen to MXTX novels, it happens to almost all novels, be it danmei or not.

Why don’t they just wait for translations to finish and release it all at the same time/as a box set? Why the span of two years?

On my part, I already say above that in China and other countries that already get their official release, it’s also not always published all on the same date.

Other than that, I’m not an expert at book publishing, much less when the publisher is not from my own country. But maybe consider the following:

They’re releasing 3 (three) hugely popular IPs all at the same time. Maybe the preparations take more time and effort to ensure everything is flawless?

Since it is very rare (or maybe never, cmiiw) for danmei novels to be published in English, maybe the publisher is testing the market first? Because if they already release them as a huge bundle from the start and it somehow flops, the loss would be very big. If it works well, then good! Maybe for future danmei release, they will consider making a box set or releasing them within shorter timeframe. 

In terms of marketing, if they wait another 2 years to release it all at once, will the momentum still be there? You can say “so in the end it’s all about money”, but if not sales number and money, what else should the publisher expect to receive for their work? They’re already putting a lot of effort buying all three IPs from the Chinese publishers, proofread or even translate some from scratch, pay translators, editors, illustrators, printing companies, etc. If it’s not selling well simply because they release it at the wrong time, aren’t all these efforts going to be wasted? And you can bet there will be no more danmei published in English if their first try already flops merely because of losing the momentum.

Are there any other rules or regulations they need to comply that prevents them from releasing everything in one go? But once again, even in China and other countries, it is also not always all released in one go, so this argument is already invalid from the start.

But they make it so expensive like this!

I’m sorry to break it to you, but I’ve compared the prices to MDZS Japanese release + TGCF Thai release and... The price isn’t really that much different.

Btw, I’m using Google’s currency converter, in case anyone wants to know where does my calculation comes from.

Okay, so here’s MDZS Japanese version from CD Japan:

One volume of MDZS Regular ver. cost 1760 yen. This is 15,96 USD before shipping. There’s only like $4 difference.

There’s also the Exclusive ver. that cost 3660 yen (32,92 USD) but we’re not gonna talk about that because they’re basically making you pay for the bonus, which is some acrylic panels and illustration cards.

Now here’s TGCF Thai version from Sense Book:

Translation using Google Chrome page translate:

One volume of TGCF costs 360 baht. This is 10.77 USD before shipping. So there’s about $9.22 difference.

Again, notice the difference of word/sentence length in the Thai words and English alphabet.

"But there’s still difference in price and other releases usually gets merchandise!” - Correct me if I’m wrong, but the US is probably one of the most expensive countries in the world. Do you think the materials, printings, and manpower cost is the same with other countries? Especially compared to one in Southeast Asia.

“But it’s xxxx times more expensive than the original Chinese version!” - Excuse me, the original Chinese version doesn’t need to pay for translators, proofreaders and editors with multilingual skills, and purchase the IPs? If you think it’s more worth buying the Chinese version, then by all means go ahead.

------------

Some last words...

I’m not looking down on those in difficult financial situation, but hey, I’m not filthy rich either? I come from a third world country and even if I’m a working adult, I’m still in working middle class + I got my parents to take care of. My country’s currency is literally just a tiny 0.000069 USD per 1 Indonesian Rupiah.

Every single fandom merchandise that you see me bought, either I’ve saved up for that or I sacrificed other things to buy that. I just don’t show the struggle to you guys because why should I? I’m just here to have fun about the fandom I love, not to flex my struggling financial condition.

These official English release of MXTX novels? All 17 books are going to cost me almost HALF of my monthly salary. But hey, I think it’s a good thing that they didn’t release it all at once, so that I can save up between months to purchase them all and plan my spending better.

If you feel the price is expensive, especially if you have to ship from outside North America, consider the following:

Book Depository provide free worldwide shipping

The books’ ISBN numbers are all available in the publisher’s website, just show it to you local bookstore and ask if they can order it for you

Plus, there are already hundreds of generous fans doing free giveaways in Twitter, even the publishers are helping to signal boost this. You can go and try your luck if you’re really desperate.

Lastly, I know how much love we all have for our favorite fandoms, but remember that fandom merchandise is NOT your primary needs.

You are NOT obliged to purchase any fandom merchandise if you can’t afford it and you should ALWAYS prioritize your primary needs.

Also, if you still want to read the fan-translations that are still available, alright go ahead. But remember that the translators themselves already said fan translations in English are now illegal. You can read it. We all consume pirated contents at one point. But don’t flex about it and diss the official release just because you can’t afford it.

I don’t know if the person who made that reblog tags are going to come at me or not, but even if they do, I literally don’t care. I’m not gonna waste my time arguing with someone with that kind of mindset and will block them right on the spot.

Also Idgaf if they call me out or talk behind my back, I literally don’t know them, so I don’t care.

End of rant.

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. tbh i think the pointed ears on the nymphs is kinda cute, the issue is that rachel and her team cannot keep most of their designs consistent and most are so lazy (ie daphne is just persephone with blue splotches, leto is just hera with black eyes, echo is just female hades, etc) that the features arent really a sign of thought out character design, but rather laziness that even they cant keep straight, as well as showing how lazy it is when only single features can tell anyone apart.

2. if anyone wants to see good versions of taking a webtoon and reworking it for print, go look at hooky, punderworld, and even let's play to see how it's actually done. the LO version is so rushed and lazy it's honestly kind of insulting to how well the other examples did their print versions.

3. It’s a fairly profound realization when you can sit back and recognize that Persephone has almost zero personality traits that aren’t completely wrapped around Hades. When taking a moment to think about what other meaningful relationships Persephone has outside of her love interest, there’s maybe…two (Hecate and Eros…possibly Hera)? I just need to point out that this is highly unusual for any sort of character, especially within a serialized work of art, to possess nearly no identifiable attributes aside from “what will their crush think of them if they do [blank]?” Persephone retains the same lukewarm qualities that early-era Disney princesses hold: interchangeable, formulaic, and malleable enough that viewers can easily insert themselves within the character’s respective roles. Some other anon had mentioned this before, but you could just as easily change Persephone’s name to “Y/N” and practically nothing would change within the story context itself.

4. heres what i dont get. its pretty obvious the first lo book at least is riding off repurposing longer panels as page backgrounds, which i do think is neat, the problem is even by ep 26 (which is where the first book ends) rs stops doing panels like this, and if she ever uses them very rare and still lacking interest. by the time the print version line up with the actual comic, it'll be nothing but a bunch of squished in. static panels with nothing to try and punch it up in the background.

5. itss really weird hera pointed out persephone is young and impressionable and would never argue with hades because of her naive nature and how her youth makes her easy to be pushed around and yet ... hades does exactly that to her and its framed as romantic?? like rachel you know when you say hades shouldn't do that that you actually shouldn't have him do that, right?? like she always setts something up to be disproven (like the age gap or smth) only to play it straight, like???

6. what i dont get of the print LO books is that the logo implies it's a whimsical fantasy, which LO is not, and even the first volume's cover implies its a contrast between the ancient world and the modern when thats not what LO is either. It's aN obvious example of false advertising and promising a viewer something they wont be getting. The second volume cover is horribly designed and lazy, but it's a bit more accurate in telling the viewer LO is just a 50 shades rip off at least.

7. What bugs me the most about LO is the over the top naive personality that RS puts on Persephone; for a goddess who lives with her mother in the farms I guess she could have a more assertive personality giving the context of dealing with the constant feeling of getting married unbeknownst to her or her mother, @a-gnosis comic portraits a more competent and unyielding Persephone, even when it needs to confront Hades, she doesn't fall in love in the way like LO Persephone does, that's a good story.

8. I had to stop reading the most recent fastpass because I couldn’t stop laughing at how some of the hands were drawn. Like, there are panels of Apollo and Zeus where their hands are so out of proportion that they are comically huge in comparison to their tiny heads.

9. I looked at the lo fast pass tag and found an account blaming us antis for effing up the LO tag… Like can you guys take it up to ones who made this app??.. It’s not our fault that tag system is messed up.

10. Is it just me or the humour in lo got super tiring an completely out of place? We are getting same old jokes all the time with "people" being loud and disrespectful to social norms (like Hermes walking in the court as it's a tv show) and every time it's placed during serious events, like what for? Why destroying the mood? Also it got super predictable - who would have know P would ask H to represent her - such complicated plot much suspence. It got super tiring to read now

[maxwell-grant]

OK, I know this will probably be painful, and I may be a bad mutual for asking but...would you be willing to identify what, in your opinion are the bottom five worst Shadow adaptations, and give a detailed breakdown of why they were so lousy?

Oh christ, okay. I don't think you're gonna get as much of a detailed breakdown for these compared to some of the others, because I take more issue with adaptations that do have good qualities but also big or deep problems to talk about.

For example, I can't include Garth Ennis's Shadow in this list because the comic has a lot of strong points to it, despite a deeply, deeply detestable take on The Shadow's character, where as the rest of the Dynamite run doesn't reach neither the lows or highs of his run. Likewise, Andy Helfer's run has a couple or a couple dozen moments every issue that make me want to tear something to shreds in frustration, but it's also at many points a really good comic with great art and some occasionally very inspired writing. Really, I'd just be repeating myself talking about what I hate in those.

But, fine, let's list some of the others.

I think I'm just gonna have to get the elephant in the room out of the way here, and address that I won't be including Si Spurrier's 2017 Dynamite mini in this list, and I think at least some of you might be angry it's not Number 1 by default. I'm doing this because I intend to one day really revisit it, think about it and it's reception and what it was trying to do, and talk about it on it's own, now that it's been 5 years and everyone has moved on and we can maybe talk about it without kneejerk hatred driving everyone nuts (your mileage may vary on how warranted it was).

I'm also not going to be talking about James Patterson's new novel, because I haven't read it. It seems to be considered a forgettable potboiler by mainstream critics and a resounding failure by everyone who likes the character whether they've read the book or not, and frankly I don't have it in me to learn what the fuzz was about anytime soon, I got my hands way too full as is.

And I won't be including the Batman x Shadow crossovers here, because again, they do have a lot of virtues that put them far ahead of some of the really worst Shadow media, and I've talked enough about how badly I think they mangled The Shadow, which is really the big problem I have with them (well, that and Tim Sale blatantly copying a Michael Kaluta cover, that was really shitty). I don't really hate them anymore, I just get tired and frustrated thinking about parts of them, I said my piece as is. Really, my frustration over this comic is what inspired me to start writing about The Shadow here, so I guess in a way I do owe it at least that much.

5: Archie Comics's Shadow

I think some of you might be wondering why this isn't ranked higher, but to be honest, I don't actually harbor any hatred towards this. I mean, I have to include it, but I find it kinda silly that some people even today actually care about the existence of this comic enough to hate it.

For fans back then? Oh yeah, obviously, but this dropped to such instantaneous backlash that it never really got to live past 6 issues. Really, everything wrong about it can be understood immediately from the covers, and I've actually read the comic in it's entirety to see if there was anything worth taking. I found only a couple of things of note but, no, this really is just a painfully mediocre superhero comic that happens to have a couple of Shadow names in it. If anything, it gets too much credit.

The actual contents of what it is are never going to justify it's reputation, but the existence of it and the disproportionate response to it is the funniest and most enduring legacy it could ever ask for. This whole comic is The Shadow's version of Spongebob's embarassing Christmas photo.

4: David Liss's The Shadow Now

This is another "The Shadow as an immortal in modern times" comic and I think you may have noticed the pattern with those by now. I may revisit this eventually and I do have some moments from it saved for reference, but overall: It sucks, and it doesn't even suck in a way that lets me talk much about it, it's a diet version of Chaykin's Shadow. If Archie's Shadow is a generic mediocre superhero comic wearing The Shadow's name, this is a generic crime story playing beats from movie. The Shadow is an asshole and not even a grandiose or sinister one, he just feels like a sleazy douche in a costume. The art is a 50/50 coin toss between appropriately moody and "Google images with a filter on them", I don't remember anything about the plot other than Khan had a bomb again and he had a daughter, and there were new versions of the agents and the Harry stand-in turned evil and Lamont shacked up with Margo's descendant which, uh, no. I don't really hate this but I really have nothing nice to say about this comic other than Colton Worley's art is nice sometimes. I can't really muster anything else to say here.

3: Invisible Avenger

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

ZZZZZZZZZZ...

...uuh, wha-

Yeah, I remember nothing about this one other than it's painfully boring and nothing about it, nothing at all, works in the slightest and I drift off to sleep even now trying to give this a rewatch. To be honest pretty much every other Shadow serial not starred by Victor Jory sucks and I don't really have anything to say about them, this one is just the worst of the lot. I dearly wish there was a good Shadow tv series but, if it was going to be like this pilot? Good riddance.

2: Harlan Ellison's The New York Review of Bird

This isn't really a Shadow story as much as it's a Harlan Ellison story that happens to feature The Shadow, but man am I glad that Ellison's "Dragon Shadows" was canned, because holy shit what a goddamn nightmare Harlan Ellison writing The Shadow for real could have been, going purely by the one time he ever touched the character. New York Review of Bird is a purely farcical parody story that wears real, real thin even before "Uncle Kent" shows up, and we get to see in it what is by far the most detestable and irredeemable take on The Shadow ever put on print, and not even in a critique or deconstructive way or anything that could be remotely worth discussing.

I don't hold any particular affection for Harlan Ellison and his writing (despite liking some of it) and I've come to notice the major red flag that is finding someone who looks up to Harlan Ellison in any capacity as a person, and this story in particular really feels like Ellison aggressively trying to channel his jackass tendencies through every line, just him being nasty because he built a personal brand on being nasty. The only reason this isn't Number One is because it's a very short story that saw zero influence or reputation, and thus it only exists as a brief mention in The Shadow wiki, and a brief mention is all it really calls for.

1: Howard Chaykin's Blood & Judgment

I'm guessing most of you already knew this one was in the top spot before I started writing.

I would actually rather not write a big piece on Blood & Judgment, because I think (or at least I hope) it's influence on The Shadow has waned a lot over the years and I would prefer to draw it the least amount of attention possible, but if I HAVE to talk about this, I guess I'd rather just vomit this out of my circuits now instead of giving it it's own post.

I would prefer to use a less unpleasant image on my blog, but if I'm going to talk about this comic, there's no image to better convey it than this drawing of macho asshole Cranston holding a sexualized mannequin at gunpoint. By leaps and bounds, Blood & Judgment is the most misogynistic Shadow story I've ever read. It's ironic that Chaykin justified the rampant misogyny he gave The Shadow with the idea that this is just a man from the 30s would act like, when he admits in the same breath that he never even touched the stories, and he wrote a story more sexist and demeaning to it's female characters than anything, literally anything, written in the Shadow pulps. It's almost impressive even.

I'll paste some segments from Randy Raynaldo's review

In Flagg, he intended to present his own point of view on American society while keeping his work tongue in cheek and acessible. But this vision dimmed, and Flagg had become a vehicle by which Chaykin could play out fetishes and portray gratuitous and stylish violence.

In The Shadow, stripped of the political and social veneer which was supposed to make Flagg unique, Chaykin's sensibilities and excesses become disturbingly apparent. For all of his liberal posturing, Chaykin's work demonstrates zero difference from the same kind of mentality exploited and made popular by similarly violent popular culture icons like Dirty Harry and Death Wish.

More than half a dozen individuals are indiscriminately and violently murdered in the first issue. Although the victims are characters who played major roles in the myth of The Shadow, we feel little sympathy for them, even for those of us who knew these characters at the outset. Who dies is unimportant, it's how they die that is the fascination.

Chaykin uses sexual decadence as a means by which to establish villains, and undercuts this device by making the protagonists as promiscuous as the villains. For all of Chaykin's seemingly liberal leanings, he demonstrates very little sensitivity in his portrayal of women.

Because everything works on rules of three, this comic also follows the pattern with other works mentioned here, as this isn't Howard Chaykin writing The Shadow: it's The Shadow reimagined as a Howard Chaykin character. He looks and acts exactly like Reuben Flagg and the typical macho protagonist of Chaykin's other works, he's a cynical sleaze with an entirely new origin who half-assedly dons a garb to machine gun people, and I already wrote a separate piece on why the machineguns are kind of emblematic of everything wrong with this take.

I understand that Chaykin has, or used to have, a big following of sorts, and I've tried to wrap my head around this for years, but I genuinely still don't get why Shadow fans stomach this comic unless they happen to be Chaykin fans first and foremost, I really don't. Everything, fucking everything Shadow fans hate about modern depictions of the character can be traced right back to this. The parts that stuck and changed the character for the worse, like him being defined as an immortal, bloodthirsty warmonger who got all his skills and powers from a magic city in Tibet, or Lamont Cranston being a coward who fears and hates the Shadow, or his agents being expendable slaves, stuff that has been ingrained into the mythos through this and the Alec Baldwin movie and other comics, to the point that people now think of it as the norm, that it's the baseline of what The Shadow is, and I hate it, I genuinely fucking hate it,

I hate it so much that it's a big part of the reason why I created this blog and why I want so badly to get to write The Shadow, because I plainly couldn't stand not having ways to tell people that this is all wrong, that this is actively shooting down the character's odds for success, and that they are missing out on something really great, because the well has been tainted with garbage that won't go away and everytime I read the words Shambala in a Shadow comic, even an otherwise good or great one, I get just a wee bit cross.

The only semi-redeeming aspects I can think of for this comic is one or two cool moments, like when The Shadow hijacks a concert using his Devil's Whisper or when he tames dogs with a stare. Just breadcrumbs of "not garbage" amidst an ocean of anything but. I hate that talking about why I hate this comic in-length can almost feel like I'm still enticing people to check it out of curiosity, but if you wanna do that, fine, just know this: The worst part of Blood & Judgment, even if you don't care at all about what it did to The Shadow, is that it's boring.

It is a deeply boring comic. If you like Howard Chaykin to begin with, you'll probably like this okay (although even Chaykin fans told me that this is his weakest work and that even he seems to agree). If you don't, I plain don't see what you could get out of this.

The comic itself is just nothing. It's the comic book equivalent of a pre-schooler trying to get a reaction by swearing. It has nothing whatsoever other than half-assed attempts at shock value. The plot isn't there, the ideas are stale, the dialogue is needlessly oblique and comprised entirely of unfinished sentences, interrupted conversations and one-liners without build-up. The characters are all unlikable and uninteresting stooges with no personality, or joyless cartoons. There's no heart or emotion or logic, and it isn't even funny enough to succeed as just an outrageous exercise in 80s excess. There's nothing in here.

I get "why" it was popular enough at the time, a rising star creator penning a modern revival of an old character based on controversy that pissed off the old fans, it's an old story that still gets repeated today. But manufactured controversy is not a replacement for storytelling and it rarely ever exists to benefit the people who actually want to enjoy the stories, it only benefits those for the crude benefit of those who want to sell you something out of the controversy.

I guess they got their money's worth back then.

------------------------------------------------

Phew, okay, I did it, I finally vomited out a piece on Blood & Judgment and some others, allright, let's put this piece of negativity behind us now.

[un-beel-ievable]

The demon brothers making plushies that look like MC 🧸

Author’s note: Please do not repost!! If you like my writing, please leave a like and a comment (and follow me to see similar content in the future :D)!

_____

Lucifer ☕:

• It's impeccable, as everything Lucifer does is. Lucifer's attention to detail is second to none.

• He tries to play the plushie off as no big deal, but literally everyone can see how much effort he's put into his handicraft. The eyes of the plushie are the exact same hue as yours are (Remember when Lucifer disappeared for a week and didn't tell anyone where he was going? I'll tell you now -he was wandering from craft shop to craft shop, trying to find thread that would reflect just how beautiful your eyes are.), and he's somehow managed to replicate a tiny version of your favourite graphic tee -down to the small imperfection on the printed design.

• Wherever he goes, the plushie follows. If he's taking a power nap, it sits on his pillow. If he's doing work at his table, it sits on his laptop, ready to help (however much a plushie can help, anyway). Even when he's in student council meetings, the plushie follows. (Diavolo thinks it's adorable, and has a miniature chair custom made for the "newest student council member". Lucifer can't decide on whether Diavolo is mocking him or not.)

Mammon 💳

• He tried his best, he really did. And I'm not saying that because the plushie he made was terrible, no, it was actually pretty decent!

• He doesn't have a clue on how plushies are made, but when he saw the plushie you made of him, he decided he wanted one too. But of you, of course. 

• He's too prideful (More like your big brother than you'd like to admit, huh, Mammon?) and embarrassed to admit to you that he has no idea what he's doing, so instead of asking you for help, he turns to YouTube videos and craft blogs to learn how to crochet. After restarting his 2nd row for the 76th time and having to untangle his ball of yarn for the 40th, he's almost ready to admit defeat.

• But then he imagines how happy you'd be when you laid eyes on the plushie he'd made of you (because "EVERYONE would want a plushie made by the GREAT Mammon, it's an honour to be chosen to be MY model." )...and suddenly he's crocheting like he's been practicing for years instead of hours, breezing through instructional videos and reading written patterns like a pro.

• His final product is slightly lopsided...but other than that it's really good!! Especially for someone who had never touched a crochet hook in his life before.

• Uses mini you to practice asking real you out.

Leviathan 🎮

• Is relatively decent at using a sewing machine. After all, he tailors his own cosplay. (And if a new season of 'Ruri-chan: Magical Girls Forever!' comes out and Ruri-chan happens to be wearing an outfit he particularly likes in it...sometimes he creates a tiny replica of it for his Ruri-chan nesoberi.)

• Ruri-chan has her own shrine in a corner of Levi's room...and now you do as well!

• Your "shrine" is basically a wooden shelf (painted in your favourite colour, of course) with a cork board mounted on the wall above it. Plushie you sits on a tiny throne on the shelf, with all the presents the real you has ever gifted him surrounding your cotton stuffed twin. The noticeboard holds a countless number of momentos -mostly photographs of the two of you and tickets from all the anime concerts and events you guys have been to.

• (The throne you sit on is a replica of the fairy queen's rose quartz throne in season 4, episode 19 of ‘Ruri-chan: Magical Girls Forever!' . Official merchandise, of course; there are only about 50 of the official ones left in existence. Ruri-chan had been perched on this very throne for over a decade, all of the other demon brothers were shocked when Levi dethroned Ruri-chan just for you.)

Satan 📚

• His plushie is perfect. Almost...too perfect.

• He's become an expert in plushie making after ploughing through an endless mountain of craft books and making his way through all the handicraft videos to ever exist. And his work shows the results of his diligent research...his final product looks machine made. Flawless. No one can fault him on technique...his work is outstanding. But somehow, something is still...off. It's too perfect, too lifeless. There's no personality to it whatsoever.

• So he spends the next week experimenting with different techniques and materials. He tries crocheting, knitting, making sock plushies...but somehow he still can't capture what makes you...you.

• Mammon notices Satan giving himself a brain aneurysm over this, and makes a comment on instead of trying to think his way through the situation like he always does, he should just "feel for it, you know? Put some heart into it."

• Mammon usually says some strange things...but this time Mammon's words actually seem to resonate with Satan. So he gives it a shot, and pours his entire heart and soul into the next plushie he makes. While the plushie looks virtually the same as all his other attempts, somehow this one feels different. 

• It feels right.

Asmodeus 👄

• Commissions someone to make the plushie of you for him

• Okay, so he doesn't make the plushie by himself (he doesn't want to break a nail). But he's incredibly involved in the designing process.

• Fusses over everything from the measurements to the exact colour (and I mean exact ) of thread they're gonna use to embroider on your eyes. Makes whoever he's commissioning do multiple samples throughout the process, and if he even finds 1 tiny fault with it he tells them to burn it and start over. His criticism is brutal, but if it isn't going to be perfect then what's the point?

• When a plushie is finally made to his satisfaction, he immediately gets down to the incredibly important task of creating a doll sized replica of your closet. He's incredibly through, there's even a tiny version of that one sock you have that's had a rip through the heel for years.

Beelzebub 🍔

• Poor Beel has no idea what he's doing...not even a little bit.

• He's watched the same crafting video so many times that half of that content creator's revenue is probably generated solely by Beelzebub himself.

• Where is he supposed to insert his crochet hook again? Oops...time to rewatch the video for the 286th time, I guess...

• His massive, beefy hands are just not made to do delicate handicrafts. He's already lost several sewing needles (pray to Simeon that no one steps on them) and his balls of yarn seem to be getting tangled up with each other just from him looking at them?? Oh, and he snapped a crochet hook clean in half just now, because he set it down on the table too hard. He's crying because all these things are happening and he has no idea why.

• Belphie walks in on the catastrophe and is pretty surprised to see his brother sobbing over a ball of yarn. Beel's never really been that into handicrafts. But when Belphie sees that Beel has actually set his snacks to the side just to concentrate on making this plushie of you...Belphie knows it's serious between the two of you.

• Belphie offers to help his twin out and between the 2 of them, they manage to finish the plushie within the next couple of days (instead of the next couple of years...which is how long it would take if Beel was left to his own devices).

• "Look!! I even attached a tag that says 'made by Belphie and Beel'!" :3

• (Please be proud of this wholesome boi.)

Belphegor 🛏

• Isn't that bad at handicrafts.

• He used to do them with Lilith, back before the war. She was amazing with her hands...much better than he was. She made him one of his cow plushies...he's always treasured it, but after she passed it became all the more precious to him. Her namesake now sits on the softest pillow he has in his bed...the cow plushie to lead all cow plushies.

• He's seen the way you've looked at Lilith (the cow plushie)...and knows while you don't hate her or it, it must be difficult to have a constant reminder of someone whose shadow you'll never know if you can step out of.

• So he decides to make a plushie of you. Not to replace Lilith (both the cow plushie and his actual sister), but as a symbol of his affection for you. To remind you that you're just as important to him as Lilith was (and maybe even more so).

• His plushie making process mostly goes off without a hitch; he doesn't encounter any major problems. He still remembers the basics, and unlike Beel he doesn't have the physical strength to snap his tools in half...he's too sleepy (All that potential nap time wasted on plushie making...).

• His finished product takes up a pride of place on his pillow beside Lilith (the cow plushie). Knowing that the 2 of you are watching over him while he sleeps makes him feel truly happy for the first time in years.

[rpgsandbox]

Blue Planet is a compelling RPG journey into humanity’s precarious future on a distant waterworld where political unrest and a hungry alien ecology threaten the nascent colony effort. A planet where GEO marshals struggle to maintain peace, Incorporate mercenaries wage amphibious proxy wars, and native insurgents fight for their adopted world. A frontier where human desperation and corporate greed ravage an uncanny ecology, threatening to plunge humanity into a war of survival with an ancient, alien legacy.

Though the original Blue Planet predates many of these titles, the setting is evoked by the movies Avatar, Blade Runner and Outland, the television series The Expanse, Firefly and Earth II and the books Legacy of Heorot, Songs of Distant Earth and the Mars Trilogy. A reviewer once gave a glib but accurate elevator pitch for Blue Planet as "Space marshal Cowboy and his cybernetic dolphin sidekick fight eco-crimes in alien Hawaii."

The Full Premise

Blue Planet's uniqueness and enduring appeal are in its deep, realistic, hard science fiction setting, and to really describe it requires more than a few sentences. For those new to the waterworld, we recommend exploring the more detailed premise here.

This campaign will fund the production of a new third edition of the critically acclaimed Blue Planet roleplaying game. We’ve brought Blue Planet to Kickstarter because we're excited to make the definitive edition of the game, but we need your help to do that.

We want to design a uniquely beautiful, full-color, two-volume, 600-page masterpiece, overflowing with evocative art, captivating text, and exceptional production values. We want to make the books themselves works of art with UV cover highlights, endpaper maps and page-marking ribbons. We want to fill them with a new rules set, stunning art, expansive color maps and compelling new locations, social structures, future technologies and alien secrets.

These features and content exceed our capacity to resource on our own, so we are here asking you to join the Blue Planet team and help us make the new version of this classic game truly exceptional.

Download the Blue Planet: Recontact Quickstart Guide here. This 80+ page, full color primer is free and contains the new version of the rules, a setting sampler and a demo scenario called "Trouble in Paradise," complete with ready-to-play characters.

The Recontact project includes

• An extensive evolution of the core mechanics, taking advantage of two decades of RPG development. The new system can be found here in our free, 80+ page Recontact primer.

• All new, full-color artwork bringing the waterworld to life in stunning, evocative imagery.

• Full-color world and regional maps, including submarine geography, redesigned and rendered by professional cartographer and game designer Mark Richardson (Green Hat Design).

• A series of campaign archetypes to help moderators jumpstart their games in the vast adventure space of Poseidon (see below).

• Updated speculative technologies.

• New sociopolitical systems, organizations, institutions and conflicts.

• New locations, settlements and facilities.

The Recontact project does not include

• Fundamental changes to the core sociopolitical tensions - the themes will remain staunchly pro-environmental and anti-colonial.

• Timeline advancements - the setting was originally - and intentionally - poised on a sociopolitical precipice, rife with plot and storytelling potential, and we want to maintain that same narrative tension.

• Global rewrites of the setting material - though updates, sensitivity edits and additions are being made throughout, we believe Blue Planet’s deep setting is why the game has endured, and so we are not making major alterations to that essential content.

A word about the delivery date

We know a reward delivery date of October 2022 seems unexpectedly far away. Though we intend to deliver Blue Planet sooner, our experience, and the last year in particular, have proven an essential truth about Kickstarter management - set a generous delivery date, then add six months. We hope this date does not discourage folks from becoming backers, but instead demonstrates our commitment to realistic planning and transparent communication.

All reward tiers (digital and physical) will receive PDFs of the out-of-print Blue Planet books the day after the campaign ends. Single book pledges will receive the corresponding v2 PDF, and book set pledges will receive copies of everything ever published for the line. All 10 past Blue Planet titles - over 1700 pages of waterworld adventure - as immediate rewards!

First edition Blue Planet, Archipelago, Access Denied, v2 Blue Planet Player's and Moderator's Guides, Fluid Mechanics, First Colony, Frontier Justice, Natural Selection and Ancient Echoes.

Blue Planet has received broad acclaim, particularly for its deep, detailed, and realistic setting, and has remained well regarded since its original publication. However, that publication was almost 25 years ago, and in the intervening decades, all versions have gone out of print and game design has evolved dramatically. We are therefore excited at the prospect of giving the game system an overdue overhaul and the opportunity to share Blue Planet with a new generation of players.  

More personally, Blue Planet features critical environmental themes, presenting a precarious future threatened by the dire consequences of ecological collapse. If issues like biodiversity loss, ocean acidification and climate change were only obscure concerns within the scientific community 25 years ago, they are now clear and present existential threats to the human species. This new edition will let us add our own small voice to those demanding true stewardship of our original blue planet.

Compelled by these reasons, the original creators at Biohazard Games have teamed up with publisher Gallant Knight Games to produce a modern edition of this classic RPG.

Recontact is the in-game term for the fateful day in 2165 when the UNSS Admiral Robert Perry entered orbit around Poseidon, “reestablishing contact” with Earth 69 years after the original colonists were abandoned. Given that more than two decades have passed since the publication of the first edition of Blue Planet, RECONTACT seemed a fitting subtitle for this new version of the game.

Anyone familiar with Blue Planet v2’s Synergy rules will recognize the new system as a modern evolution of those mechanics, sharing a little of that design's genetics and the same intent to support the hard science realism of the setting. Players will also find the new system is simultaneously simpler and more robust, while supporting richer, more evocative character creation that's focused as much on who characters are as what characters can do.

Characters have 4 attributes with optional foci and up to 8 skill sets - areas of expertise based on player-generated descriptors that evoke a character’s origins, training, occupation and experiences. The core mechanic is roll ≤ (attribute rank)+(skill set rank). The roll is made with either 1, 2 or 3 d10, depending upon whether the general, core or specialty in a given skill set is being used. For those who know v2, these elements should seem familiar. There are fewer attributes, but they work similarly, and the variable dice pool is a streamlined take on the aptitude mechanic. The skill sets are simultaneously simpler and more robust than the long list of specific aptitudes and skills in the 2nd edition.

Blue Planet does remain a realistically dangerous game, keeping the  wound levels and trauma tests from the 2nd edition. Weapons and sea monsters are therefore quite deadly, so characters should try to avoid getting shot. Or eaten.

The new mechanics also lean in to the qualitative roleplaying aspects of modern character design, providing Tags, Tracks and Ties unique to each player's character concept and each moderator's campaign. The emphasis is as much on who a character is as what they can do.

Tags are specific consequences, benefits, convictions, motivations or other active descriptors that a character incurs during their adventures - generally the result of narrative events, important tests, fallout from interactions with other characters and injuries.

Tracks model the range of specific character emotions, attitudes and mental states. They are usually campaign or party specific and can be offered by the moderator or created by the players for their party or their individual characters.

Ties describe a character’s primary relationships, identifying the people and organizations to whom the character is connected, as well as the nature of the obligations they must meet to maintain those relationships.

The only consistent criticism Blue Planet has received over the years is that the setting is so vast and wide open, it’s often challenging for game moderators to know where to start. They struggle to choose a single campaign current from among the sea of ideas in the setting. Blue Planet: Recontact will therefore provide a diverse set of campaign archetypes to provide ready-made options for GMs new to the game.

It’s common practice for RPG books to present a range of character archetypes, providing players with detailed examples of the kinds of PCs available to play. These campaign archetypes are similar in that they offer guidance for a variety of different adventure types that can be run in the world of Blue Planet, providing GMs with starting points, directions and enough details to get a variety of different campaigns underway. Each archetype outlines a premise, PC suggestions, unique NPCs, key locations, resources, themes, and plot threads from which a GM can build their perfect Blue Planet campaign.

Read the full first example - Red Sky Charters - in the Recontact Primer here.

Kickstarter campaign ends: Wed, May 5 2021 3:00 AM BST

Website: [Biohazard Games] [Biohazard twitter] [Gallant Knight Games] [Gallant Knight twitter]

[thatmultifandomhoe]

Knitting You a Home - 5

Pairing: Wolf Hybrid Namjoon and Human Reader

Word Count: 2,745

Genre/Rating: Hybrid AU - Established Relationship - Angst - Fluff - Smut - PG-13

Overview: Things have changed for you and Namjoon. It’s been a year since the two of you got together, and despite a rocky start, it was impossible to deny the bond and love you shared for each other. But ever since Hoseok had been separated from his Mate, Namjoon has been withdrawing himself from you and doesn’t come home until late at night.

With questions far larger than either of you imagined, you can’t help but wonder if he’s let his past and old fears come back to haunt him. You had shown him that it was possible to have a home and be loved once before, but will you be able to do it again?

Warning: None

Playlist:

Main Master List:

Knitting You a Home Master List:

Mated Love is Never Easy Series Master List:

Sneak Peak - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15 - ?

©thatmultifandomhoe Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without permission.

The outside world faded away from Namjoon as he sat in his studio, scratching out lines that he’d previously written, trying to find another way that explained the way he was feeling that flowed with the song.

He had been like this for the last several hours, biding his time as Yoongi and him waited for the artist to arrive and listen to the tracks they had prepared, and to give them the input they needed on that one song.

“You know, as nice and passionate as he seems to be about his music,” Yoongi murmured, scrolling through his phone like he had been for the last few hours. “I really hate it when people are late and don’t bother to call and give a heads up.”

Namjoon hummed in agreement, not even bothering to check the time. Instead, he chewed on his bottom lip, sighing as he once again drew a harsh black line. The page had slowly filled in with more crossed out lyrics than when he started rewriting it this morning.

He had felt bad leaving you in bed this morning, again. Like clockwork, he’d leave the house by seven thirty to guarantee he’d make it to the bus stop to get to work ten minutes before eight, but this morning had been different. Those few moments you shared when he did crawl into bed hadn’t happened this time, and it left him feeling off centered. You had ended your day not knowing if he came home, and were going to start it off waking up and wondering if he had come home.

Then he ended up not being able to go visit you during his lunch break, because by a stroke of luck, Yoongi had called him over to Genius Studio to go over an idea he had on the unspeakable song. They had nicknamed it that when the rapper turned down another version that they had for it this morning.

It was only a quick and short text that he was able to send to you before going over to Yoongi’s studio, feeling even guiltier. If his math was correct, then you hadn’t seen him since yesterday at lunch. Which was one thing if the two of you lived in separate houses and were only dating, but you lived with each other, shared the same bed, your paths should have crossed more than once.

Not hearing a reply from Namjoon, Yoongi lifted his head, shifting on the couch to see that his friend was still leaned back in his chair. His feet were propped up on the drawer of his desk with the notebook against his legs.

Yoongi’s tail lightly thumped against the couch – not even Namjoon’s ears flicked in his direction – and he glanced at the time. It wasn’t late like yesterday, only eight, but just like the other day he wanted Namjoon to go home. He was concerned about his friend and thought that he needed to get away from the studio and spend some time with you.

Maybe by being with you, Namjoon would realize that it didn’t matter whether there was a ring on your finger, or a Mate Mark on your neck, you were the love of his life and he was yours, and that was all that mattered.

“Mixtape?” He finally asked, curious as to which project Namjoon was working on.

Namjoon nodded, finally turning to the next clean page to write out what he had. Maybe if it wasn’t surrounded by scribbles and cross outs, he’d be able to figure out the next few lines before the chorus.

Namjoon reached out and tapped on his phone out of habit, curious if you had messaged him. The lock screen photo made him smile, taking a moment to admire it before going to his messages. It was from the morning after one of his heats and naturally, he had woken up before you. Sunlight had streamed through the curtains, highlighting your body in an otherworldly glow as you slept. The only adjustment he had made was when he brushed your hair off your neck, revealing the – at the time – Mate Mark that was only a couple days old.

It was a picture that relaxed and sent a wave of pride through him. While the day that you officially adopted him was one of the happiest days of his life, this particular moment in time was forever ingrained in his heart. He had found the one person meant for him.

When he finally pulled up his messages, he smiled as he saw an unread text from you.

From Angel:

Don’t worry about it Joonie! I have some news to tell you when you come home, so I’ll see you tonight. Love you!

He hoped you hadn’t gone overboard with dinner, but knowing you, you probably dug out the cookbooks and decided to try a new recipe. Without a doubt there’d be a plate fixed up for him waiting in the fridge for him when he came home. The gesture was sweet and while he was thankful for you thinking of him, it only made him want to come home at a normal time to eat it with you, when it was done cooking.

A knocking at the door captured his attention, forcing him to slide his notebook closed with the flyer for the underground rap battle serving as a bookmark back into the drawer when Yoongi opened the door. Namjoon hid his surprise when not only the rapper entered the room – apologizing for being so late – but a woman entered with him, her hand clasped in his own.

One inhale and Namjoon was gripping the arm of his chair, feeling like he had gotten run over when the scent of her overbearing perfume hit him, along with the rapper’s scent coming from her as well.

In some shape or form, these two were together, and they hadn’t been late due to dinner as he was telling Yoongi.

“Well,” Namjoon spoke, clearing his throat as he shook hands with the artist and then his, friend. “Why don’t we get started.”

As everyone got comfortable, Namjoon glanced at Yoongi over their heads, raising an eyebrow at his older friend.

Yoongi simply scrunched up his nose, tail flickering in agitation at the humans overpowering scents.

It was going to be a long night.

“Knit one, pearl two,” you softly murmured, reading over the knitting pattern. Dinner had long since been put away and the dishes cleaned up, a plate already made up and set aside in the fridge for Namjoon for when he came home.

Since you were officially on vacation, you were sitting on the couch with a pattern you had printed out God knows how long ago. It was for a baby blanket, and as you had been rifling through your binder of patterns, you couldn’t help but linger on this particular one. It was too soon to assume – with Hoseok leaving for a year at the end of the month it certainly wasn’t going to happen – but you couldn’t help but think that Sarah would need it. If not now then she would one day for sure. Something told you that her and Hoseok weren’t going to have only one child.

And if not, it’ll make a beautiful display for the shop, you thought, writing a check mark in your notebook next to row one, continuing on to the next one. Right now, it just looked like a long section of yellow yarn. Give it a few days and it would look like the picture, a baby blanket with a seashell design big enough to wrap the baby up in or to put in the crib.

Sighing, you glanced at the clock on the wall, not surprised that Namjoon wasn’t home. It was only nine, too early for him to even consider leaving work.

It hadn’t always been like this. He used to come home at a normal time, or the latest at least eight pm. That had been when he first started working for the music company. With Yoongi by his side guiding him, Namjoon had managed to work his way up and was able to produce music alongside with Yoongi. The promotion had surprised even you, but you didn’t care. All that mattered was that Namjoon was doing a job that he loved, and from the stories he told you with bright smiles, the hours he spent at the studio were worth all the late nights.

Of course, you missed him. You missed teasing him as he tried to help prepare dinner, and curling up on the couch when the dishes were done. Tender moments of when the two of you were in separate worlds, him lost in a story or new book of poetry and you knitting up a new project, but always connected as he pulled your legs over his lap and would run his palm along your bare skin. Those were the sweetest memories that you missed.

Tonight, was nearly identical to those precious moments. The TV was on low, your legs stretched out on the couch as the knitting needles clicked together. The only thing that was missing, was Namjoon.

Namjoon pressed down on the back of his neck, groaning as he entered the house. The night had gone exactly as he had thought, and they were still left with the unspeakable song to do. Every idea and suggestion ended up crumpled up and thrown in the trashcan.

By the time the artist and his girlfriend left, both him and Yoongi reeked  of the perfume she wore, and Namjoon was growling in irritability because his studio no longer had his scent. He had spent the last hour trying to rid the room of hers, but it was no use. The only female scent that belonged in there was yours, and he was debating on having you come by one day to help restore order. Until he got a shower and smelled like himself again, scenting his studio was absolutely pointless.

He stopped short in the living room however, his thoughts hitting pause as he walked around the couch to see you asleep. The basket that held your knitting was placed on the floor next to the end table, the throw blanket that was usually over your chair half haphazardly covered your body.

The sight of you sleeping eased some of his distress, but it only raised a new worry now. Crouching down, he gently brushed back the hair that had fallen, a soft smile appearing on his face as he gazed at you. There was probably a good reason you were out here instead of in bed, but like a quick fire, guilt plagued him at the thought that you had been waiting for him. He remembered that you had wanted to tell him something, but he didn’t think it was serious enough for you to camp out on the couch.

“Angel,” he softly called out, running his knuckles against your temple. “Wake up sweetheart, it’s time for bed.”

A soft groan came from your lips, making him chuckle, but he continued on. “Come on, you know an angel like you isn’t meant to sleep on a couch.”

You tiredly smiled before opening your eyes, relishing at the sight of Namjoon. “The only angel I see here is you.” You stretched a hand out to cup his cheek, sighing at the content sound of his growl.

Namjoon ducked his head down, chuckling as he gazed lovingly at you. A wave of deja view had him taking a trip down memory lane, recalling another time when he had come home to find you sleeping on the couch in an attempt to wait up for him.

“Why weren’t you sleeping in your bed?” He hoarsely asked, watching you unfold the towel and settle it on his hair, all while being mindful of his ears. He hadn’t expected the rain and he was soaked as a result of the sudden storm.

You didn’t answer for a few moments. Instead you were focused on drying his hair and gathering your thoughts. “I was waiting for you to come home,” you finally answered, moving the towel off his head. His wolf ears lifted up, bringing a soft smile to your face despite the serious situation at hand, and began to carefully dry them as well.

His eyes burned with tears and despite biting his lip and trying to think of anything else, he couldn’t. Never before had a place been a home for Namjoon. The feeling was foreign and it scared him. The idea of there being a place where he felt safe, cared about, and loved terrified him, so he ran.

He ran until he realized there was no-where he wanted to be than with you, that the only person he wanted was you. He loved the things that you knitted him, he enjoyed starting his weekend off with you on the couch drinking coffee and watching those wedding shows.

He loved the way your house always smelled like something was being baked, and he sincerely appreciated that after he woke up from a nightmare, you were there to coax him out into the kitchen where you prepared to make tea or coffee and a late-night snack to take his mind off of his memories. You never forced him to, but he knew that you’d listen if he wanted to talk about it.

Without a second thought, he wrapped his arms around your hips, pulling you closer so he was able to rest his forehead against your stomach.

The tears slid down his cheeks as he sobbed, his grip tightening the slightest when he felt you move. But it was only to set the towel on the table as you wrapped your own arms around his shoulders, gently rubbing your hands in circles on his back.

“It’s okay Namjoon,” you softly spoke. “You’re home now. It’s gonna be okay.”

Shaking his head, he gently slid an arm underneath you to help you sit up right. “Are you awake enough to tell me about that news?” He teasingly asked.

You frowned up at him but realization dawned on your features, resulting in him chuckling as you nodded. Holding your hands out, Namjoon took them in his as he pulled you up, immediately leading you to the bedroom.

“Well as of today, Grandma has declared that I’m on vacation,” you told him. He slid his arm around your waist and you leaned into him, your nose scrunching up at the citrus smell on his shirt.

“She finally got tired of you?” He joked, not noticing the way your face fell.

Licking your lips, you frowned as a headache began to form behind your eyes at the scent. “She says that we work too much and don’t spend enough time together.”

“Was there the mention of us having kids?”

“That we should be in a certain room in our house more than we are.”

Namjoon snorted, watching as you sat down on the bed before going to his dresser and pulling out a new pair of boxers. “I need a quick shower but I shouldn’t be long.” He smiled as he walked back towards you, kissing your lips briefly before heading to the bathroom.

The water was heard instantly. You were staring at the doorway, wondering if he had known. He had to know that he reeked of another woman’s perfume, his own sense of smell was heightened incredibly compared to yours but yet, he didn’t say anything. There was no explanation for why he smelled like that.

Reaching up to touch the side of your neck, you shakily inhaled as you forced yourself to dress for bed, curling up under the blankets on your side.

It was the first time that he was home before midnight. The first time in so damn long that the two of you were going to bed at the same time, and he smelled of another woman. While you figured there was a perfectly reasonable explanation for it, your heart seemed to hang in your chest.

By the time he crawled in behind you, burying his face in your neck and softly kissing the skin, you couldn’t erase the venomous thought that there was no other reason for why he was staying so late at the studio anymore.

Before you had wondered if…now you were wondering just who wore that disgusting perfume. 

[tohellandbackanthology]

Another Very Important Update

November 8, 2020

Hi everybody! We’re back again with another big update. There’s a lot of information in this one, but very important information at that, so we encourage you to read through this carefully! We apologize for the delay since the last announcement; we always strive to be as transparent, accountable and communicative as possible, and while we had hoped to have big news for you very soon, the reality is that these things take time, and our talks with Indiegogo dragged on longer than we had hoped.

About our difficulties accessing our fundraiser money:

We’ll get straight to the point: we still don’t have our funding. After incorporating as a non-profit society and even going as far as acquiring a business number, our disbursement failed for the 7th time. This is incredibly frustrating—after jumping through so many hoops, we found ourselves at the same dead end. As such, we had a very firm discussion with Indiegogo and let them know that this was simply unacceptable (see below the cut to view screenshots of our ongoing communication with them; we want to make it very clear to our backers that we have been trying as hard as we can to keep this project on course, but also that delays have been largely out of our control). After we stressed the importance of our project to Indiegogo, they escalated the situation to their very highest level of support at our insistence, as it is clear to us now that the problem with the disbursement lies with them and not with us. We have our fingers crossed that we will hear from them soon, but as the holiday season is approaching—not to mention that COVID-19 cases are on the rise—we expect further and longer delays than usual.

We know that this news is disappointing—we’re in the same boat as you. We cannot emphasize enough how passionate we are about our project, especially now that Dean and Cas’ relationship has been textually canonized on the show (we’re still shaking after this week’s episode)! We want to assure you that we have been working tirelessly to resolve this disbursement situation with Indiegogo and we cannot thank you enough for your patience and support and encouragement—without you on our side, we’re not sure we would’ve been able to keep going this long, but knowing how much these books mean to our backers has been a critical driving force for us, and we just want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

On our end, the E-book version of our anthology is nearing completion (we’re so thrilled about how beautiful this book’s final form is looking!), and we have done everything and anything we can to speed up the process of this book’s printing, but the fact remains that without any money, we simply can’t go very far. We promised you all that we would never spend your money until we were sure we could deliver and we intend to keep that promise to the best of our ability. For that reason, we won’t purchase our materials for merch nor place an order to print the anthology until Indiegogo releases our disbursement to us. This way, we protect both ourselves and you financially, but this also means that at this point in time, we are at a standstill. We can’t move forward until we receive our funding and while we remain hopeful that the solution is very much within close reach, we unfortunately can’t speed up this process any more than we already have—it all comes down to how quickly Indiegogo responds to us.

About when we’re going to ship out these books:

This unfortunately also means that we have to revise our project shipping date again. We had previously been hopeful that we would be able to get these books out to you all by December 2020. Now we see that this won’t be the case. We are not expecting our issue with the disbursement to resolve before January 2021 at the earliest (and that is simply due to our expectation that Indiegogo’s operation will be slower due to short-staffing during the Christmas holidays); therefore, it has now become fairly clear to us that these books will go out sometime in late winter or early spring 2021, but without our funds becoming available to us, we won’t be able to pin down a specific date just yet. As soon as we receive our funding, we will make clear a firm deadline and let you know immediately. As we have completed nearly all of the book work on our end, shipping will follow quickly after a disbursement reaches us successfully—we won’t wait around to get these books to you and will work at top speed so that you can enjoy the wonderful works contained within our anthology as quickly as possible! Trust us—our content contributors did a phenomenal job and we couldn’t be more proud of them!

About whether these books will be hardcovers:

We also talked about hardcovers back when we initially ended our campaign, and again more recently. As we mentioned last time, without a resolution to our disbursement issue, it’s very difficult to determine whether we can afford them. As this project has now veered into the new year, we expect new quotes from the printer which could be higher than we initially received when we began fundraising. All in all, with the amount of money we expect to be disbursed to us, we can 100% afford softcovers and account for all merch in every tier. So to reiterate: a physical book is definitely coming—there has never been any question of that—and so are all the things that we promised you, but whether it will be a softcover or a hardcover is something that we simply can’t be sure of until we have better news about our disbursement situation.

About changing your address if you’re moving:

Lastly, we know that since our shipping date is uncertain, there may be people who will have new addresses at that time. Please don’t worry about this! When we are ready to ship, we will email everybody and ask them to confirm their addresses. You will have the opportunity to change it then. You are welcome to email us now with an address change but we urge you to wait until we contact you, because even if you provide us with a new address now, we will still ask you again to confirm it later! Rather, it is far more important to make sure that you regularly check the email address that you used when donating to our campaign on Indiegogo—we will always use that as our primary method of contact with you.

In conclusion: 

We want to acknowledge that this process has been a longer one than any of us expected, but our passion and love for this project has not changed. We remain committed to delivering some beautiful books to you very soon, and we thank you so much for throwing that same passion and support right back at us! 

As always, should you ever have any questions or concerns, please don’t hesitate to contact us! 

Sincerely and with much love,

Your 8 Nerds

P.S. We’re still freaking out about that episode.

See below the cut for screenshots of our communication with Indiegogo:

June 8, 2020: We reached out to Indiegogo after our first disbursement failed to reach us

In the following months, every 2-3 weeks, Indiegogo tried disbursing the money we raised for the anthology and it failed again and again. To resolve this issue, we tried many different things, not limited to creating a non-profit community bank account, incorporating as a non-profit society and obtaining a business number. It became clear after so much hard work on our part that we were not responsible for the failed disbursements. This was directly the fault of Indiegogo and we urged them to take the matter to experts in their company.

October 27, 2020:

  November 4, 2020: We finally received a reply. After our contact at Indiegogo contacted Stripe, the company responsible for sending our disbursement to us, Stripe confirmed that our information had always been correct, but that Indiegogo did not input it to Stripe correctly. We are now waiting for them to try another disbursement which, fingers crossed, will finally go through to us!