#ever since watching the 2019 bot

[banqanas]

On July 6, 2019, the third day of BATTLE OF TOKYO ~ENTER THE Jr. EXILE~ concert, Sano Reo and FANTASTICS appeared on stage holding a globe with a flag written "SEKAI" and bandanas with Nakao Shota's kanji, 翔 (sho) printed on it.

The globe was a token for FANTASTICS' leader SEKAI who was absent from the July 5 to 7 concerts due to a metatarsal bone fracture.

During the encore, all acts featured at the concert performed Turn Back Time as a tribute to FANTASTICS' member Nakao Shota, who passed away on July 6, 2018.

x

[hot-take-tournament]

ngl kind of breaks my heart to see you used one of those ai bot things after the entire vocaloid debate. i really don't like that you did that and i'm a little disappointed. can you please not do that again?

I know - I do need to address this before anything else, because I fucked up

Please read the whole thing

If any of you don't know the context of this ask;

Basically, a while back I used the program AI Dungeon to generate a hot take for fun;

That's the program they use for those chaotic AI videos you find on youtube, like the ai ace attorney clown case and the sonic destruction scripts, which has some absolutely wild moments like these

I just put in a couple one-sentence questions to see what it would give me, not really expecting anything. But the take it did finally give me was not only completely depraved, but also felt like such a weirdly personal attack on me specifically that it left me genuinely speechless.

So, even though I didn't originally intend to do this, I decided to secretly make a poll for it claiming it was a submission, because I thought it might be fun to see if you guys could guess which one of the polls was the fake one, Blade Runner style.

I generated the take on the same day that submissions originally closed, but I only came clean about it last night because I started to feel super guilty about it after reading the vocaloid discourse - but the way I did it was vague, shitty and insincere.

I know it was 4 in the morning and I said I was going to get some sleep when I made the post last night, but after I saw the asks I immediately got about that post - like this one - I instead deleted it after like 2 minutes and spent the next 4-5 hours scouring the internet for as much information about this as I could find so I could get the full picture. This isn't the first time I fucked up on this blog because I didn't do my research, so I think I massively overcompensated - I really didn't want a repeat of that time the master post accidentally triggered multiple people's OCD; I still feel awful about that.

And as a result, I ended up passing out on my bathroom floor, which is why you haven't heard from me in a while.

I did genuinely read all the vocaloid discourse (asks, replies, notes, all of it) - but since I pulled this stunt ages ago, and the secret poll is already up, it was already too late. And it was because of that vocaloid discourse that I felt like it would just make me a hypocrite if I just swept it under the rug and kept quiet while everyone else was talking about the exact same subject, so I decided to just tell you guys as soon as possible because I'd feel shitty if I didn't - but I still phrased that post in a more light-hearted way because that was what I originally intended this whole thing to be, which was definitely a mistake, and I can't apologise enough for that.

And I know I didn't clarify this in that original post, but like I said, the program I used was AI Dungeon, which was something I remembered having fun with back in 2019/2020, spending hours generating unhinged Ace Attorney cases; and I remembered I still had an account from back then when it was still free to play, even though I hadn't touched it in 4 years - and I realised I would still be able to bypass the paywall using it.

I'd also just watched those snapcube Sonic Destruction videos that I linked above and it reminded me of that. And I dug up those old AI Dungeon Ace Attorney cases that I had generated and then recreated in objection i.o. back when I was 17/18, and had been sitting on my old computer's hard drive for ever since - and they still made me smile a little. So that's how I got the impulse to do this.

And that's also why, even though I knew about the writer's strike and do fully support it, it just didn't occur to me that the AI that gave us that same insane Sonic Destruction script that I'd just watched would be one of the programs the writers were striking over - I just assumed that it was only programs like ChatGPT, that can produce coherent scripts based on the accumulated information users feed into it; because those are programs that could definitely potentially be used to replace human writers. That's something AI Dungeon can't do, because it doesn't retain user input after you shut it down.

So I just saw AI Dungeon as that goofy ass confused AI that I loved as a kid, the one that provides insanely weird responses out of the blue as it desperately tries to cobble together a narrative, and it was used in videos that I still really like. And I thought it would be fine.

That was how I justified it at the time - but in hindsight, given how much I hate other GPT programs like ChatGPT, as well as AI art and all other generated content overall, it just makes me even more of a stupid hypocrite for making an exception for this one simply because I was blinded by nostalgia, and not bothering to look it up back then like I should've done. Because at the end of the day, a GPT program is a GPT program.

SO - Here's what I found online while reading up on it last night:

Because of the outdated GPT model AI Dungeon runs on, it isn't possible from a technical standpoint for it to learn like ChatGPT does. Even though it still uses a dataset, as far as I can tell it genuinely can't add to that dataset from user input except for when it explicitly asks for feedback (rarely, it will generate two responses instead of one, and ask you to pick the best one so it can learn - but you can turn that feature off.) And while it does try to learn while you're using it, it can't carry that information over between sessions. So even if you reload the same page again, it won't retain what it learned last time.

(Here's some information I found while combing ancient reddit threads that explains this better than I can)

But even if all of that is true, it doesn't matter.

Latitude, the developers of AI Dungeon, are super fucking scummy, and you shouldn't support them.

If you want to look up all of the many, many controversies surrounding AI Dungeon, you can - but I won't link them here, because serious content warnings apply.

Do not use this program.

I really hope the anon who sent this ask - and everyone else who called me out on this - stuck around, because I am so, so grateful that you all sent these, otherwise I probably would never have known.

I deleted the post almost instantly (because like I said, it was too light-hearted), and I'm really glad I did. And I swear I won't pull this shit again.

I know a lot of you hate the fact that I did this - that original post genuinely got me blocked by more of you guys than every single one of the polls combined - which is totally fair, and I wouldn't blame any of you for doing the same now.

I really just want to move on from this - but I can't just pretend that it didn't happen.

Support the writer's strike, don't use any AI programs.

I'm really sorry about this, and the fact that I didn't take it seriously enough - like I said, I promise it won't happen again.

</3

[taurielofmirkwood77777]

THE FOLLOWING IS RELATED TO GOOD OMENS I SWEAR

Back in 2017, I bought a bicycle. It's a foldable bicycle that I still have and I still use. Fast forward a bot to late 2018/early 2019, I was talking to a close group of friends and thought I should name my bike. I wasn't emotionally attached to it back then, and I'm still not, despite using it a few times a week for the past six years. And so I named my bike J (pronounced like Jay). This was for two reasons: 1. Bicycle is a long word to type when you're talking to someone through messages (and the shortened version of "bike" does not exist in my native language) and 2. I thought I could turn it into a joke that if I said things like "I'm going home with J", people outside of my friend group who would hear this would assume that I have a boyfriend and ask me who J is.

Unfortunately, no one ever did ask me that, after the quarantine in 2020 I dropped the whole thing, especially since my group of friends changed and none of the people I was spending time with were there when I came up with the idea in the first place. But for about a year or so, I did call my bike J.

Now, you might be thinking "Okay, okay. Cool story and all that, but what does this have to do with Good Omens?"

And I'm getting to that, don't worry.

Just today, I was talking to a new friend about my past and somehow ended up talking about the whole "naming my bike J" story. I haven't thought about this since I've stopped doing it.

And then it hit me.

I and Anthony Janthony Crowley did the exact same thing around the same time and despite me watching Good Omens in 2019, I never realised that. If anyone would've asked me why I named my bike J, and not B or P or K, I would've simply responded with "It's just a J, really."

[twomanydads]

that was by far the worst game I’ve ever seen the US play and I can’t sleep so here are my thoughts

—vlatko needed to be fired the second he played for a tie in the Olympics, he sucked the culture out of this team and I think he is #1 to blame for the ongoing performance issues

—the federation has done little to develop younger players to bridge the gap between the Tobin/Alex/pinoe era and honestly the writing has been on the wall since 2019 that we wouldn’t have anyone to fill those gaps

—speaking of the federation, the US as a whole has been uninspired in player development in their national league, the NWSL does not develop players the same way that the European leagues have been for years and I think it’s telling only one USWNT player is playing outside the NWSL

—see above point: Rodman and smith will not reach the next level of play if they stay in the NWSL

—vlatko clearly has laid it all on the line for Horan and while I think she was under utilized by Ellis, there are games where tactically she should not be starting//deserves a rest. He built this team around a single player which is why he is unable to make effective in game changes, the lineup is no longer dynamic

—also not even convinced vlatko understands how to react to games when it comes to coaching, most of his friendlies he has pre-planned subs and just typing that out makes me feel crazy like men truly can be so bad at their jobs for so long and not even get criticized, why does it feel like he’s an AI bot who watched 100 hours of soccer and is now in charge of the best team to ever play the game (so far)

—shut up Carli Lloyd we all know the off field distractions she’s talking about are players like Pinoe using their platform for activism, she’s still bitter players kneeled for the flag and now she can speak out against it bc the team isn’t doing well

[ensign-smith]

This year, I am thankful for Star Trek

I watched my first episode of TNG back at the end of March, after seeing how excited my parents got by the return of Worf in Picard S3. Since then, Star Trek has done so much for me. I have made new friends and rekindled old friendships. I started exercising regularly (Starfleet officers gotta stay in shape, after all). I reconnected with old hobbies like roleplaying and writing. I actually completed my first full cosplay build since 2019 (all my cosplays since then have been unfinished). I accidentally wrote an entire novel over the summer??

Reading AO3 smut, ERPing with bots, and being generally unhinged about Brent Spiner and other ST cuties has given me a wild sort of confidence again that I don't usually have when I'm not partnered. Cringe is dead. I'm single and horny on main and I'm having fun!!!

Daydreaming about Data and my silly little self-insert has helped me move on from a breakup with someone I loved so deeply I considered them family. Through Data, I have learned more about what I want in a partner. That I want someone who demonstrates their love through their actions, and not someone who loves me just in theory.

Most significantly though, I found great comfort in the halls of the Enterprise-D after the sudden, unexpected death of my best friend since 2nd grade. Those episodes I watched after the long days of memorial service planning, the final viewing, the burial... brought me a calm and quiet sweetness, a much needed reprieve. I was able to escape to the 24th century and, later, in the safety of fiction, explore and process some my grief over the greatest loss I have ever experienced in my life.

I am of course thankful for other things -- my family, my friends, myself. After all, the common denominator in all of these experiences is Me. Perhaps in some other universe, I found some other series to fixate on and I healed just the same. All I know is that in this universe, Star Trek has brought me countless hours of joy and levity, and I'm thankful to have it in my life now.

[leagueofgardens]

Assault Lily × Ludvico Private Girls' Academy: The Blade of Truth

For obvious reasons, I'm not writing the full title of the play.

Ever since The Gleam of Dawn had its run earlier this year, my opinion has been that it was the best individual one of the Assault Lily stage plays, but the Ludvico quartet (in their revival versions when those existed) are the best series. And though The Blade of Truth was by no means bad and a worthy finale to the series, my opinion hasn't changed.

Extensive spoilers for the play below. Don't click unless you want to be spoiled! (Also, I talk about death, so a content warning for that.)

The Blade of Truth is actually the only one of the Ludvico stage plays that I've watched the original 2019 performance of, because there was no alternative at the time I was first watching the series. It was… okay. Definitely rough compared to the revivals, but I wasn't sure how much of it was inherent and how much was because of the lower budget those plays were working with.

It turns out that at least a little of it was inherent, but I'll focus on what was good first.

BoT 2023 (I'll abbreviate it as that from now on) was excellently produced. Assault Lily's stage tradition of projecting video onto the stage came out crystal clear, for nearly the first time ever, and was used to great effect every scene it happened in.

Though the choreography wasn't quite as fancy as The Gleam of Dawn's, it was frequently impressive, and the playwright/director duo of Sakuragi Sayaka and Hayashi Shuuji elevated their trademark of simultaneous scenes to new heights by occasionally having important conversations take place on one half of the stage while battles occurred on the other.

The story was an improvement over the 2019 version with a variety of small changes to the script, and possibly also thanks to the years of extra experience the actresses and staff have. Asahi and Nagisa were adorable together, the flashback scenes with Kazane made her feel less like just Mirai #2, Ichika and Karen both got even cooler, Himari was a lot more likeable, and Nonoka's scenes were somehow even funnier.

In the back half, Professor Amamiya "installing" himself into Kosaka the same way various other characters have makes a lot more sense than the 2019 version's brain transplant. I feel really bad for Kosaka, since she seems to momentarily regain her original personality just before she dies… well, no one ever said Assault Lily stories have happy endings for everyone.

Also, Pius seems to have mostly recovered from whatever issue they had in 2022 where the stage cameras and microphones precipitously dropped in quality (maybe Bushiroad gave them loaners and took them back when they pulled out of the Assault Lily project?)

What wasn't so great? Well, it's an ongoing thing with the Ludvico series, but the plain-looking hairstyles/costumes and boring CHARMs are disappointing coming from the other stage plays. They provide the advantage that they avoid having the occasional ugly-as-sin wig (like Kasumiko's in The Gleam of Dawn,) but I wish the crew had at least used different shades of natural hair so the characters are easier to tell apart. I don't see why Yuko couldn't be a blonde and so forth.

In BoT 2023, a reasonable amount of characters have custom CHARMs (or at least less common ones like Kazane's Triglav,) but I'll be quite happy if I never see another Dainsleif Carbine or Gungnir Carbine again in my life.

I'm still not a fan of The Blade of Truth's plot, particularly the second half. I've always been disappointed by Assault Lily's dull villains and feel that Toda Kotohi is the only one, in any part of the media mix, who's genuinely a great character. A bunch of nuns and Kosaka-sensei repeatedly screaming "This is for the good of humanity!" haven't changed my mind on that.

The fights were really cool, and Makabe and Kosaka in particular have their moments, but I wish we knew more about what they were actually trying to accomplish instead of them just seeming crazy.

While Sakuragi may have felt she couldn't make a change that drastic to the script in a revival, I think Ichika should have died when Makabe shot her. It really undermined the impact of that moment when she was just fine later, and more broadly I feel that Assault Lily's aversion to allowing even a single Lily to die in the present clashes badly with how its strongest plotlines are based on the deaths of characters in the past, like Mirai.

If Yuria had died in the previous Ludvico play, that would be fine too. Just kill someone. Anyone!

I feel very edgy saying that, but I really believe AL tests the limits of our disbelief with how everything, all of a sudden, always turns out just fine for the Lilies. (Unless you're a teacher, in which case you have a 75% chance of dying horribly.)

Anyway. BoT 2023 is a solid play, not the best Assault Lily stage play and not the best Ludvico one either (I think that's probably Schwester's Secret), but well worth watching. Don't miss it… though it's a little late to say that now.

[chocolatebonboncookie]

this is gonna be a long post but i just feel like. writing out how that night went.

it’s kinda vent-ish but more of a story than anything just have it under read more so i don’t have to scroll past it.

July 19th, 2023.

A seemingly normal day, other than the fact my oldest cat, Princess, had issues. We had to keep her in a cage overnight to make sure she didn’t make any messes on the floor because we weren’t sure what was going on with her. We were finally getting her into the vet later on that day. I would finally see her getting better.

While it was just me home, I was tasked with cleaning up around the house. I put some music on, blasting it in our living room. My second oldest cat, Joe, would hang out near where the music was playing, listening to it. However, when one particular song came on, I dropped everything I was doing.

“In the dark of the night-“

No Matter What from the Steven Universe movie.

I love that song. To most, it’s just a cute song from a cartoon movie. To me, it’s the most important song to me.

In 2019, a 13 year old me was watching the movie’s premiere with a friend. When I heard that song for the first time, Princess was sitting right by me. From that day on, I decided that it was our song.

So at that moment- I stopped my cleaning session and ran to Princess. I scooped her up, held her in the way she loved the most, and sung the song to her. Although she was a cat and couldn’t sing with me, I always kept quiet during Amethyst’s part for her. I had sung that song to her at least once a week ever since she started getting sick, and every time she’d stick with me and lay in my lap until she had to get up.

Hours had passed, and my mom got home from work. This was it. I had to get Princess ready to go to the vet. I was her person, after all. If anyone could force her into a small carrier, it would have to be me. I was anxious, yet excited. She’d finally get better. My mom believed that Princess would get better too- and if not, it would be something easy to get under control.

As we drove to the vet, I let her out of the carrier during the car ride. It wasn’t too long, but she stayed on my lap the whole time. She didn’t complain at all. She’s such a strange cat- she was mean to people she didn’t know well, yet was perfectly behaved during baths and car rides.

The vet appointment was a long one. While waiting for the veterinarians, she sat with me on my lap. When she was taken away to do blood work, I was terrified. I cried for her to come back. I distracted myself by chatting with some friends online and messing with discord bots, and after what felt like forever she was finally back.

I ran up to her. Poor girl, she was so overwhelmed. She was too scared to come out of the carrier, but once she realized I was there she reached her paw out to my hand and gripped onto mine the hardest a little cat could’ve. As we waited for the test results, I refused to let go of her paw.

The vets finally came back, and said that she had multiple issues which would require her to go to a fancy vet on the other side of the city for a few days for tests. I got anxious, not wanting to be separated from her for that long. But I was fine with it. Anything to make her feel better. As we were leaving, I said to the veterinarians- “Thank you for helping my best friend.”

It was a much longer drive to the animal hospital we were taking her to. During that ride there, I let Princess out of her carrier again, and she didn’t leave my lap. She’d get up to look out the window, but she never left me. I was listening to music with her. Suddenly, that song came on again. Our song.

I quietly sang to her, but this time more anxiously. I had hope she’d get better. No, I knew she’d get better! I just couldn’t let go of that lingering fear I had.

As we got closer to the vet, Princess moved from laying on my lap to letting me hold her close to my chest and shoulder. It was the closest that the two of us could get to a hug. Like earlier, she stayed with me.

This was much more nerve-wracking than the earlier appointment. As soon as we got there, they took Princess away while we stayed in the waiting room. They were checking on her for various things, and I wanted nothing more than to run up and ask if she was doing okay.

They returned with the cage taken apart. They had to force her out, because she didn’t want to go out of the carrier for them. If I was there, she would’ve left it easily. Princess was always so cold to those she didn’t know, yet to me there was not a better cat I could ask for.

We moved to a different room, and they’d come back with updates on what they were finding.

Every return, something more and more outrageous was said.

But then it was the worst thing I’ve ever heard in my life.

“… She’d have to stay for around a week … 5 to 8 thousand dollars…”

I was already willing to sell everything I owned for her.

“…Not guaranteed to work…”

Oh.

“…The only other solution is…”

I begged for it to be something good.

“Euthanasia.”

I refused to accept what I was hearing. There could still be another way, right? I could’ve saved her. Sure, we might not be able to do it right, but people use online fundraising to save their pets. I bargained with my mom like I was pleading for my own life. I offered to sell everything I own. My phone, ipad, collection of manga and anime merchandise. All of it.

But none of it would work.

Second instinct after hearing that word was to scream. I can’t even begin to describe how I was feeling. Sad, for the fact I was probably about to lose my best friend of 13 years. Anger, for the fact the world was ripping her away from me so soon. Guilt, for not begging to take her into the vet earlier. The denial from mere minutes earlier still clouding my mind, yet it was fading away and showing the harsh truth I was facing. All of that combined lead to the most horrible noise I’ve ever made and heard in my life. A scream, sounding more animalistic than human, a roar that likely scared everyone in the building. One coherent word was heard in those screams, and it was simply “No.”

After a few minutes later, I managed to utter some actual words- mostly things along the lines of “You can’t take her from me” and “She’s my best friend”.

But my screaming and begging and crying couldn’t save her.

Everything else was a blur. My mom calling my dad to tell him what happened, a grief counselor they had for situations like these, more vets coming in to discuss the situation. I was anxiously texting my friends, just needing help, advice, consolation- anything.

Finally, a vet came in holding my Princess in a blanket, and handed her to me. I was so scared to lose her, yet overjoyed to see her again. I wanted to hold on tight and never let go. But eventually, we all have to let go, don’t we?

A while later, we went into a quiet room used specifically for those who were saying goodbye to their pets. We were given as much time as we needed, and as of then we were just waiting for my dad to arrive. I sat with Princess, talking to her like normal. Although she’s just a cat, she’s my most trusted friend. I trust her with everything. I’d crack jokes about funny things she did, or even unfunny things like that one time she scratched me so badly I was bleeding everywhere.

My dad arrived. I wasn’t ready to give up Princess. I would never be ready. I wanted to go home and end this painful waiting, but I couldn’t just leave her here.

After a long while, I decided I was finally ready to say my final goodbye. But before they called the vet and said we’d be ready, I had to do one last thing.

I pulled out my phone and opened my music app. I quietly played “No Matter What”, and sang along to her.

Through whoever you’ve been, through whoever you’ll be

Through whatever you lose, you will always have me.

At the end of your rope, i’ll be holding you taught.

I’m gonna be right by your side,

Be right by your side,

Be right by your side, no matter what-

Although the song had a happy ending, my version did not. The last few lines were choked out rather than sang, and I could hear my dad start to tear up as well.

I left that vet with a sobbing mess of a face, a head hanging down low, and the sorrow of leaving behind my best friend. The best friend I couldn’t imagine not being with for one night, now gone forever.

Everywhere I went that night has been touched by the grief I felt. The peppermint mocha frappe I had on my way to the vet. The Target my dad took me to so I could get whatever to cheer me up. My favorite fast food restaurant that we got dinner at because none of us would be in the mood to cook when we got home. Even just driving by a place I recognize from that night hurts. The places Princess would often hang around felt so, so empty. Her little cat brother Joe was so confused as to where his big sister went, and he still looks around for her. I can’t even listen to our song anymore.

Although she was just a cat, Princess left such an impact on me. I’ll never forget her, and I hope she never forgets me too, wherever she is. I love you, and I’ll be right by your side no matter what, my sweet Princess.

💜🐈‍⬛

[littlemissmedicalmalpractice]

looking in my drafts and i found this half completed :''') sorry this is so late but thank u sm for the tag :D!!!

nine albums or songs I've been listening to lately x nine people I’d like to get to know better x tag game with no name

1. why did you choose your url? it's based on ieiri shoko from jujutsu kaisen :D (especially her in jjk 261.ajkhafks) though it's not super connected to her so i'd also say it's just cause i like it lol

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. @tibia-soup for tgcf and tlt, @sashisusupremacy for silly sideblog things, @a-nice-place which is shared for happy things :)

3. how long have you been on tumblr? i've been lurking anonymously on tumblr longer than i've been alive lol. um...i've probably had an account since 2019 or 2020, though i've made a lot of new ones and deleted far more than i've needed to :')

4. do you have a queue tag? i'm not nearly organized enough for that

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? mcu reader fanfiction...don't murder me please!!!

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? it's a beautiful ferret from this post to match with some mutuals <3

7. why did you choose your header? it's some very happy people who will never have anything bad happened to them ever 😇

8. what’s your post with the most notes? hm idk, i don't make a lot of original posts. probably one of the jjk haikus i wrote

9. how many mutuals do you have? mutuals that i actually interact with? around a dozen or twenty. mutuals that have been in the trenches with me through fandom wars but i've never spoken to? probably another twenty

10. how many followers do you have? 74 plus a handful of bots :)

11. how many people do you follow? 455 wonderful magical people

12. have you ever made a shitpost? have i every NOT made a shitpost is a better question 😎 (yes i have, got a whole blog for them)

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? very sporadically...sort of one day i'll be on it for hours on end but another day i'll only go on for five or ten minutes

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? i got very mad at a blog for insulting a book that i liked and i complained aggressively to my friend but i didn't say anything. i sort of get in a fight with someone being mean in the notes of my friend's post but after a couple replies i just blocked them

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts depends if they're joking or not. not my favorite type of post definitely

16. do you like tag games? yes!!! i'm bad at doing them bc procrastination 😌(edit this is even funnier now that i'm picking it up again) but they're fun to get to know people :)

17. do you like ask games? yeah :D, same thing as tag games

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? probably @godmodebeginswithlesbians though im not sure if we're technically mutuals...big blogs are intimidating to interact with :')

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? no but i think they're all so cool 👍❤️

20. what is the last song you listened to? 1234 by feist, it's on this old cd playlist my sister gave me

21. what are you currently watching? banana fish (rewatching...send prayers lol) and haikyuu (also rewatching!!! because watching olympics volleyball inspire me)

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? spicy!!!

23. what is your current relationship status? single and uninterested 👍 (aro)

24. what is your current obsession? FENGLIAN, a ship from tgcf....their dynamic is rotating in my brain so fast and all i can coherently think is the word angstangstangstangstangst

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

this is just my current playlist (minus a couple songs) lol, cause i almost never full albums :3

1234 by feist, same as before :)

psycho by kaiyi

superstar by lauryn hill

i hate texas by mxmtoon, which she just released!!!

notes in the stars by laura sherwin

mama's pearl by the jackson 5 (it's STUCK in my head send help)

your best american girl by mitski

csikós post by hermann necke

golden by jill scott

26. tagging (no pressure <3) @shrimpathizer @rumplestiltsbear @wolfspero @falcon-forest @checkeredcookie05 @mingguangsword @f1shpotatoes @fire-in-my-eyes @tea-loving-introvert and @ anyone else who's interested :D

nine albums or songs I've been listening to lately x nine people I’d like to get to know better x tag game with no name

(thank you for the tag @lianhuajing !!)

1. why did you choose your url? uh. it was a play on "rose tinted glasses"

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. nope!

3. how long have you been on tumblr? I think 2022? i knew about it before, just never bothered to make a blog

4. do you have a queue tag? don't kill me, what's a queue tag?

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? I had some Thoughts about Blue Lock and wanted to post meta for it

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? uhh Flora.

7. why did you choose your header? Reo is one of my Blorbos and I just really liked that panel of him

8. what’s your post with the most notes? probably the "do you download fics" poll

9. how many mutuals do you have? about 20? i don't remember

10. how many followers do you have? 120?

11. how many people do you follow? 91

12. have you ever made a shitpost? yes. i think.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? an hour?

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? nope

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts meh. some of them are funny i guess

16. do you like tag games? yep! it's nice interaction

17. do you like ask games? i do! but uh. it's a silent empty void here. an echo chamber, if you will.

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? i have no idea but i see @kingsandbastardz a lot in the mlc community

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? nope

20. what is the last song you listened to? 若梦 by 周深

21. what are you currently watching? i just finished The Double! probably starting on Dashing Youth next

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? savoury!

23. what is your current relationship status? single

24. what is your current obsession? The Double,,,,

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

若梦 by 周深

如故 by 张碧晨

如初 by 张碧晨

借过一下 by 周深

万物不如你 by 张杰

Our dawn is hotter than day by Seventeen

Hitorijana by Seventeen

my music taste is kinda...i tend to stick to a few artists...

26. tagging (no obligation to do this!) @randomingoftherandomness @good-vs-evo @chrysofightme @bbcphile

[loopscereal]

Back in late 2019 i had never even heard of twitch, I was on minecraft youtube watching hermitcraft, i had just recently found this funny video series on youtube by Wilbur Soot where he challenged his viewers live. Back then I thought Technoblade was just another reoccurring viewer of Wil’s! Thats so absurd to think back on!

Early 2020 I watched tommys vids in youtube where he ran around being purposefully annoying twoard the dteam, speedrunning challange, yt vids became yt vods, and he would mention checking out twitch, so would wilbur. By July of 2020 I was following wilbur on twitch, by September I had followed tommy, October I had followed tubbo.

Soon enough I was following a whole new chain of creators on a new platform, invested in their story. I hadn’t yet really registered that their timezines matter much since i was accustomed ti watching vods. I *STILL* regret having missed the pog2020 vs swag2020 election because of this! I still regret that!! God!

November 16th came and went, I was enamored with all the art that came out because of it, then Wolf the witch, then known as “channel without a name” had uploaded their animation of the 16th in the 20th. I was there, in that live chat, and after the premiere, I had made friends. I didnt think that would last, but here i am, almost two years later, and most of the “premier gang” members are still active we still talk regularly.

We watched origins together and fell in love with the vod, learned how to install mods and use fabrics launcher! I installed minecraft java edition fir the first time ever because of this, we played minecraft together, we branched out and screenshared to eachother when one would play any other game.

We had a channel specifically for when some damned streamer would go live to scream about it and summarize the premise to each other if we had missed it. By the time Tales Of the SMP rolled around we would all sit in vc together and watch as someone screen shared.

We’ve had three “seasons” of our origins smp, with shops snd community houses. I remember building water tunnels for our resident merling, and my friend would make awnings for me since i was an enderian and couldnt leave the house when it rained. We pulled pranks on eachother, my whole wheat farm was replaced with carrots, me replaced a friends house with jack-o-lanters and acacia wood!

I found other common interests with friends, we found we coult talk about other things other than minecraft incredibly easily, we made comics together, played new games together, suggested music together, celebrated together, we grieved the death of a fucking music bot together! I still miss groovy, we had so many late night ham sessions with groovy.

We still talk about c!tommy, c!tubbo, a friend makes animations about the eggpire and recently got new egg lore. It feels good after havjng seen and heard them hold on to it for so long, and thats what we’ve all done. Holding on, i guess.

I really have had so much fun, playing with my art style along these two years, creating little ficlets for my friends about characters i adore, going insane about new animations from the community. Ive had a personal au about clingyduo for well over a year now, maybe even two years? No idea, but god its been so fun, fullfilling even.

My vocabulary has deffo been changed, example A is right there, “deffo” was ages ago and hasn’t left me since. I dint think dsmp is going to leave me even if i stop interacting with it (which i don’t think I will just yet)

I love all the results I’ve personally gained from being a part of this.

Thank you so much to the streamers, the artists, the musicians, *some* of the clips channels, everyone who wrote character analysis, wrote fics, or just screamed in twitch chat or posted in the youtube comment section or live tweeted/ live blogged any moment they loved.

Thank you to the fanbase, more than anything, for making this place so loved.

[blogger-yura]

Entry #28 Oct 25th '21

#YurasLife #MovieMonday #HalloweenWeek #Thriller #Horror #Mystery

𝐌𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐲 - Halloween Special!

Hello hello my darling butterflies~ Happy Monday! How was your weekend! Did you manage to have fun and take care? I sure hope so! Please remember to take it easy today, alright? Monday's can be so tiring sometimes! You don't have to push yourself to get things done, ever. Your pace is the right pace, always remember that ♡

It's been quite some time since I last did a movie recommendation entry, hasn't it? But as halloween approaches, I guessed what best than to put together a small list for it! I gathered some movies for this week, a small build up till the big day! Some of these I've seen already, some I cant wait to do so! Some of these are classics, some are new releases! Regardless, these is my Halloween Special for you with some of my favorite titles and some I really look forward to! I hope you enjoy it and can come around to see these with me~.

Monday 25th

Title: Us (2019) - Director: Jordan Peele

Personal score: 🌟🌟🌟☆☆

Tuesday 26th

Title: The Conjuring trilogy (2013-2021) - Director: James Wan; Michael Chaves

I will be completely honest with you guys, The Conjuring franchise AND the trilogy are not of my favorite movies out there. But I just can't not add them! These are going to definitely be classics in a few more years and I believe any educated horror fan should watch them at least once!

Personal score: 🌟🌟☆☆☆

Wednesday 27th

Title: The Witch (2015) - Director: Robert Eggers

Personal score: 🌟🌟🌟🌟☆

Thursday 28th

Title: Friday the 13th (1980)- Director: Sean S. Cunningham

Personal score: 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Title: A Nightmare On Elm Street (1984) - Director: Wes Craven

Personal score: 🌟🌟🌟🌟☆

Title: Freddy vs Jason (2003) - Director: Ronny Yu

Personal score: 🌟🌟🌟☆☆

Friday 29th

Title: Fear Street trilogy (2021) - Director: Leigh Janiak

Of all Fear Street, I've only watched the first one as of now! But I will not lie to you guys, I'm really looking forward to them! I think spooky season is the best season to catch up and, ok, these aren't really scary, but I do think they're still worth it!

Personal score: 🌟🌟🌟🌟☆

Saturday 30th

Title: The Babadook (2014) - Director: Jennifer Kent

Personal score: 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Sunday 31st

Title: Halloween franchise (1978-2021) - Director: Various

Now now, how am I supposed to make a post with movies for halloween and NOT add the one and only? Watching Halloween its a MUST during halloween night! If you ask me, John Carpenter's, Rob Zombie's and David Gordon Green's are the best bets. Theyre quite a lot, I know! But they're worth it! There will always be something about these movies that catches your attention and simply makes a shiver run down your spine. I can't wait to watch Halloween Kills and I'm already looking forward to Halloween Ends next year!

Personal score: 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Alrighty! These are just some of the titles I like the most or think everyone should see sometime! Have you already watched any of these movies? Which is your favorite horror movie? Is there one you watch every year with no fail?

I really hope you like these and have a fun Halloween Week ahead! Horror nights are always my favorite, I'll make sure to have fun for everyone too!

Make sure to enjoy, eat lots of sweets and take care, alright? You're never too old to celebrate! I'll see you around, my loves! -Yura ♡

🧡: @madmanwoodam @vitoria-oc @archangel-oc @shin-haneul @lunaaofthemoon @moongoddesselene @jinju-oc @ochouse @cbville @esmeralda-oc @jihan-oc

@cb-museclub @achillesunwoo @ares-bc @warblerchangmin @mafia-chae @unseelie-dejun @skzcbspam @betrayerjongup @ppg-3ye @moonlightchn @temptationcb @demigodnct @vampiremomo @suburbanbots @antiromantic-jun @roommates-bot @modelyonghee @floristyujeong @literature-bot @eunwoo-bot @hopelessromantic-juyeon @silvernightcb @choipaths @botuniverse @modelsora @adorbsana @richsocietybot @runawayscb @godly-bots @hwangxmaximoff @velvetparadise @berryjinnie @revengebots @urown-im @azieville-institution @7deadlysins-chan @journeythroughtime @mverses

[yoitscro]

cw depression, anxiety, vent //

i kinda hate how i can go from laughing at youtube videos to having an emotional rollercoaster and crying in the dark.

literally nothing really happened today.. i mean i had one hour of sleep the night before so that could explain my anxiousness, but it’s not like i’ve not had some of these thoughts before.

i went to work, relatively sat there for nine hours, then went home. i remember mostly looking stuff up, watching a few youtube videos, etc. but while i was trying and tried to think back, i couldnt really remember what i did specifically. like, i knew i did and watched certain things, but i can’t remember in full what i did exactly to make 9 hours pass by. i was suppose to work on project stuff, but i didn’t do any of that.

but yeah the reason my mood is shit is because i think i had too many quiet moments with certain thoughts that compare to each other, and all of that kinda came to a boil rn.

i was just sitting in a voice chat. i’m not drawing bc i dont really wanna force myself to have to do something visibly interesting for someone to show up and wanna chat. i just wanna do the chatting part. make friends, just have a nice conversation. i was there for 2+ hours listening to a music bot, because i can only assume that since im not really known (but i have talked to people in there), and im not really known for doing anything outstanding, that no one’s jumped to talk to me like they would others. i feel like im constantly casting a hook into a lake and getting nothing. this has happened multiple times in multiple server. i don’t wanna just @ someone or tell anyone im in call when they can see i am, otherwise i feel like im being pushy or making someone feel like they have to talk to me, when they don’t want to.

i feel like if someone makes the step to talk to me first, that means a lot, versus me having to nudge them.

I do a lot of nudging, and I feel like a bother when I do, so I try to not. Then when I don’t nudge, I never get any nudges of my own. So I keep nudging since it’s the only way I tend to get any interaction. Or else people just forget im there. which makes me feel like regardless of the nudging im not really thought about anyways.

earlier today i was looking up aro stuff. i was trying to figure some things out about myself, and some of it seemed to match up. but i was also trying to figure out if it was something that was tru about myself, or potentially me trying to make reason for why i can’t really form any bonds with others. or rather, something to make me feel anchored for why i feel hesitant about bonds? mostly because i’ve been burned so many times that i dont wanna end up being alone again, or being burnt out due to other issues. and it sometimes feels like unless im someone’s number one, i can’t even been their third wheel.

later i started thinking about how i’ve wanted to move out of my house, and each time something’s gone wrong with trying to find a room mate. at least two of them went sour with people who i assume didn’t think i was worth it. i told a therapist back in mid 2018 that i’d intended to move in with my ex best friend. yeaars ago. idk if im ever getting out of here anytime soon with someone who wants to bother.

and bringing this back to the voice chat thing, idk. being alone when im trying to not be makes my thoughts roll about all the times i’ve been left behind. especially times where my well being or regards were unconsidered and my concerns were potentially dismissed. each time i keep going back to thinking about 2019 and how i was left by myself in NY bc of petty drama and gossip. and how i was dismissed for being concerned for being left alone by people who didn’t care and had the potential to at least care about what could happen if i was left alone. i try to think back to that as just thinking that i was dealing with a particularly nasty crowd, and it’s not a reflection of most people nor my relationship with most people. but then i think/thought back to those other issues of today. i think back to similar issues that’ve happened before. i think about how they keep happening and how they all have the same pattern: that im mostly forgettable and that i don’t really have anyone to rely on, outside of family. and well. family. yeah.

i could be gone tomorrow and it’d take a week or more for anyone to truly grow concern, and that’s only because someone would only notice by that point. because again. im always the one to nudge. im not really thought of until i say something. until i pester to the point of being annoying bc my social cues are out of wack and im slightly clingy, because of the abandonment. hell, i literally remember a time where i had con friends that straight up talked to each about having to leave for the night and getting up to leave the lobby without saying anything to me, WHILE i was there. like they forgot.

i can sit through an entire conversation and just listen to people, and i can learn a lot from or about them, but i doubt they know much about me. because i can go minutes, 30 mins, an hour without someone asking me anything or inviting me to chip in.

cw // suicidal thoughts

i keep anchoring in on that NY trip bc it really was the peakfest form of cruelty that opened my eyes to how much people don’t give a shit about me. everytime i think about it and my thoughts start to spiral, i think about how i constantly thought about jumping on train tracks. i thought about what would happen if i got attacked and no one found out. i thought about if i didn’t want to hurt myself because i wasn’t that deep into a spiral, or because i fear the pain versus the result. idk.

im fine rn. tbh writing all this helps me destress. but...next time i go to my doctor or whatever, i guess ill say something. i’ve always checked ‘No’ for suicidal thoughts because i never took any impulsive imaginations seriously. But im starting to realize that having them more than once means something. I’m starting to realize that crawling into my bed because im crying too much to draw and that i keep thinking about typing up what the least painful ways to go are. that’s...not good, obviously. i need to go talk to my doctor. and go to the doctor period. 

i have money saved for ADHD. im just wondering how the rest works if i think i have something else? do i have to have separate specific appointments if i wanna get tested for multiple different things (Depression, BPD, etc), or can i just have one and the psych people dissects from there which it is? idk.

i know my sister recently got prozac. im glad for her, but im slightly jealous. my parents never really gave that many shits to ask if i ever needed any of what she’s got or been forced to get even. and if i did bring something up id probably be asked tedious questions and given patronizing tones. bleh. i can’t even imagine telling my mom about the NY situation. she’d baby me about hanging out with people online for the rest of my life versus giving actual respect to the situation or encouragement that i’d want. meh. 

ok. i think this ramble is done. i think i just needed to vent a lot of stuff out before i ended up wasting the night away, lol.

i can’t do much rn while im focusing on getting a bit more money from my shitty job, but once i get a nice paycheck in a few months or less, ill try scheduling an appointment. i think i need to get a physical soon anyways.

thanks for reading, if you did. sorry if i freaked anyone out.

[debraulrich]

From an anonymous author:

No piece of art has ever emotionally affected me the way this robot arm piece has. It's programmed to try to contain the hydraulic fluid that's

constantly leaking out and required to keep itself running…if too much

escapes, it will die so it's

desperately trying to pull it back to continue to fight for another day.

Saddest part is they gave the robot the ability to do 'happy dances' for spectators while the spill was contained. When the project was first launched it danced around spending most of its time interacting with the crowd since it could quickly pull back the small spillage.

Many years later…… (as you see it now in the video) it looks worn down and hopeless…Because the amount of leaked fluid became unmanageable as the spill grew over time, there now isn't enough time to dance as it only has enough time to try to keep itself alive. Living its last days in a never-ending cycle between sustaining life and simultaneously bleeding out.…. (Figuratively and literally as its hydraulic fluid looks like it's actual blood)

The arm slowly came to a halt and died in 2019, but with a twist - the

bot, called a kuka servo, actually runs off of electricity, not hydraulics, so it was working its entire life towards something it didn't even need, tricked by the system it was brought into. So now I'm crying over a robot programmed to live out

this fate and no matter how hard it tried, there was no escaping it & spectators watched as it worked itself to death.

Saying that 'this resonates' doesn't even do it justice imo. Created by Sun Yuan & Peng Yu, named, 'Can't Help Myself'

*Interpretations: The hydraulic fluid in relation to how we kill ourselves both mentally and physically for money just in an attempt to sustain life, how the system is set up for us to fail on purpose to essentially enslave us and to steal the best years of our lives to play the game that the richest people of the world have designed. How this robs us of our happiness, passion and our inner peace. How we are slowly drowning with more responsibilities, with more expected of us, less rewarding pay-offs and less free time to enjoy ourselves with as the years go by.

How there's really no escaping the system and that we were destined at birth to follow a pretty specific path that was already laid out before us. How we can give and give and give and how easily we can be forgotten after we've gone.. How we are loved and respected when we are valuable, then one day we aren't any longer and we become a burden and how our young, free-caring spirit gets stolen from us as we get churned out of the broken system that we are trapped inside of.

Can also be seen to represent the human life cycle and the fact that none of us make it out of this world alive. But also can act as a reminder to allow yourself to heal, rest and love with all of your heart.

[sugar-petals]

I see that lately you’ve been reblogging the ice skating guy. Could you introduce him to us in the caro way??👀

i see, i see. you are falling for the beautiful ice skating guy. with delight do i talk about him. ♥︎ who are you asking about, then?

shōma uno (22) of nagoya, japan, the dreamiest ice angel you will ever see:

lucky newcomer stans: shoma is extremely easy to spot. 5′2, soulful, sparkly, and always headed for the podium because his artistry fucking slaps. this angel is the latest olympic silver medalist ✨

if you see a petite, serious-looking guy with thighs for the gods and impossibly elegant upper body work, you can be sure it’s him.

off the ice, look for this: the supreme doe face. dark uwu eyes, wide baby cheeks, 100% shook. needless to say: it’s over when he looks at you like that. 

something else to watch for when you want to spot the angel. his primary hobby is sleeping lmao! shoma naps everywhere. once, he was so exhausted, he was found cutely slumbering before his olympic press conference. 

meanwhile, his presence on the ice? expressive, alluring, aptly sensual start to finish. sometimes feisty, even. he saves all his energy and then delivers. it’s ballet on blades. the guy puts so much passion into his choreo. 

most well-known are the moments when he ends his program and switches back to his normal cute mode. that’s when you see the puppy gaze return.

bc the thing is: you won’t see shoma’s feistiness elsewhere. the japanese are already very reserved and shy, but he’s made an art form of it. his voice is quite light and high, that contributes to the effect. i have not seen one interview where he tries to stand out or embellish his answers. shoma stays true to his unobtrusive character, you’ll see him spaced out 90% of the time.

shoma is often freightened by social settings and fan service. if you didn’t know how he’s on the ice, you can easily get the impression that he’s avoidant or insecure. but it’s just this: he’d rather be gaming or eating than get animated and play celebrity. you have a cozy introvert here. he’s in the game since he’s 5 years old but still doesn’t show himself off, he’s in his own sphere. 

you might see him look overwhelmed pretty often, but the flipside of the coin is, shoma is humble and doesn’t act out of arrogance. for a skater this great, his ego is minimum inflated. he doesn’t like putting himself in the center. legend has it he could always win gold but takes default silver out of politeness 😂

what he does like and respond to is getting direct praise. shoma lives for encouragement. that shit flusters him immensely, and it’s something he accepts. when he’s uneasy in crowds he doesn’t smile very often. but to this day, fans shouting ‘shoma, you’re so cute’ before he starts to skate has proven to lift his spirits effortlessly. last time it happened, he immediately cracked a smile:

now, there is plenty to compliment. 

i mean, look. the sheer athleticism of this man. god knows how high he jumps.

from facial expressions to hand postures, everything captures the music. he looks fantastic. 

shoma has great sense of dramatism. what you’re seeing is always art. 

shoma’s infamous signature move is the cantilever. you can see why. the audience is losing their minds every time.

what else to praise? the absolutely beautiful costumes. 

shoutout to satomi ito who designs these.

the #1 shoma praise bot is skating god yuzuru hanyu (aka current reigning olympic gold medalist) himself. imagine this: a baby is babied by a fellow but slightly older baby. yuzu said this about shoma: “he is like a puppy!” what you see is what you get, shoma is as adorable as he looks. 

so, yuzu takes good care of him and makes sure smol shoma is always included even if he’s getting shy. even since the early days:

if you ask me, team japan couldn’t be any more handsome and princely. the sheer combined power of cuteness and skill. you’ll hear from these lovelies.

shoma and his younger brother itsuki are also pretty much inseparable. goals, this is the softest sibling insta you will ever see. once again, with sleepy shoma.

baby photos included. faith in humanity restored. 

he also has wholesome interactions with his idol and fellow skater daisuke takahashi. dai is a funky, bubbly personality and complements shoma’s introversion really well. 

another important person to shoma, if not the most decisive recently, is retired world champion stéphane lambiel. yes, this handsome swiss glamazon.

shoma went through a highly distressing period of being coachless last year. he parted ways with machiko yamada and mihoko higuchi (below) who were his coaches for 16 (!) years. they were a dream team.

so that he decided to go for something new ended up as the most heartbreaking shit. he lost his inspiration and will for skating and kept dropping to lower rankings. he broke down in competitions because his fans were cheering for him even if his skating deteriorated and he felt undeserving. 2019 was shoma’s existential crisis. he went to several camps to try out coaches, to no avail.

enter coach stéphane! who started to work with him last winter. oh thank god. lo and behold, shooms has been consistently improving and getting very smiley (!) ever since. these two go together like fries and ketchup. 

so, guess who is currently training in switzerland now. whole new world for the little guy 💕

stéphane is eccentric, cheeky, and bold enough to uplift and inspire him but also “so friendly!” as shoma described him. he praises genuinely and knows how to foster shoma’s talent. their language barrier is also no problem, lambiel is a polyglot. i think that stéphane is off ice what shoma is on ice, this is the perfect exchange. i love this song. 

the ice angel has quickly recovered from his misery thanks to the amount of positive feedback. on youtube, you find multiple fancams of stéphane getting very invested in uno’s performance from the sidelines 😄 shoma adores him and stéphane is a protective ice dad. just look at these two.

there’s no better coach he could have. stéphane’s choreographies perfectly cater to shoma’s poetic interpretation. so satisfying. so impeccable. as dostoevsky said, beauty will save the world.

last japanese nationals in december, shoma even took gold and cried from relief on the podium. he’s improved so much. stéphane will make him go far. 

what convinced him to coach uno was simply this: “his eyes sparkled!”. and yes, there’s hardly anyone who won’t be impacted by this.

this puppy has all of our hearts so let’s send out compliments to him. fingers crossed for shoma’s upcoming competitions and the next olympics where i am sure he will stun the world. i mean, he won gold in the baby boy hall of fame already. he’s a really great artist and soft person who deserves everything. thank you for attending my ted talk.

[scribblesandsorcery]

Tagged by @celta-diabolica and @bedeliainwonderland 🖤 Thank you!

1. Why did you choose your url?

All the previous usernames I'd used had been based around fandoms I was in when I made them, so I was looking for something not fandom-specific that could encompass my current interests and whatever else I might get into. I chose "scribbles" because it covers both writing and art, and "sorcery" for the alliteration and because witch vibes have always been a thing with me.

2. Any side blogs?

No.

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

I had an old Tumblr back in the day (2010-ish?) that I barely used, but I lost the login. I made this blog in 2019, but it didn't really get used until 2021.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

No, I still don't really understand Tumblr or its user interface (I miss the LJ/Dreamwidth system tbh), so I just reblog stuff as I feel like it.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

Back in 2019 I was considering dipping my toe back into fandom for the first time in a few years, so I made a new Tumblr, but then I got busy with work and real life stuff so it sat inactive until lockdown. During lockdown I watched the first 6 seasons of The X-Files and became a fan of Gillian Anderson, and then I watched all of Hannibal on Netflix in like two days, and well...Bedelia is very much my type of character. And then fic ideas started happening, and that's when I started actually using this blog.

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

It's a stock image that I thought fit the vibe of my url.

7. Why did you choose your header?

It was big enough and the right colour scheme, mostly xD But also, Yuuko Ichihara has been a major influence in my life since my troubled teen years. She's one of my favourite characters, I RPed her on LJ back in the day, and she was the subject of the first fanfic I ever wrote, so it felt fitting. Also it's just nice artwork.

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

This shitpost about writing that I made in the middle of the night is the only post of mine to hit triple digits, and I gained four or five followers from it (doesn't sound like much, but I was new on here and had maybe six followers at the time).

9. How many mutuals do you have?

...something like 6? I don't know many people.

10. How many followers do you have?

About 25? And I think half of those are bots. I hang out in my little corner of fandom and I'm pretty shy, so I've only made a few new friends on here.

11. How many people do you follow?

82, apparently.

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

That's basically what my Tumblr is for. I get the shitposting out of my system on here rather than on social media that has my professional name attached. Well, mostly.

13. How often do you use Tumblr each day?

I check in regularly.

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

No. I just hang out in my little corner, and most of my fandoms are dead enough that there's no one to argue with anyways.

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

I mostly ignore them.

16. Do you like tag games?

Yes! I'm very shy, but I'm always happy when people tag me in things.

17. Do you like ask games?

I haven't posted any yet, but I have a bunch of fic/writing ones I'll get to at some point.

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

I mean, I have maybe 12 people following me, so y'all are famous compared to me.

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

If we've ever interacted at any point, I am still thinking about it and worrying that I said or did something stupid/weird, so uh...interpret that how you will.

I tag @the-girl-who-didnt-make-anysense @ohhalefire @boojums-snark and anyone else who wants to play 🖤

[dreamxeyes]

Tagged by @the-actual Thank you!

1. Why did you choose your url? Because it is pretty sounding. I have always had this URL and I’m glad to have it because it’s just general and doesn’t reflect anything but myself. I am a big dreamer.

2. Any sideblogs? Nope and I see no reason to. Everything I want to post is here.

3. How long have you been on tumblr? Since April 2012. I only used it casually because I wasn’t in to it at first. Then I became wildly active in 2019 when the new Rise of Skywalker trailer dropped. And now I actually love using tumblr.

4. Do you have a queue tag? No, I hardly que my posts. And I am sorry.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place? Because my friends were using it. I used to be a heavy blogger since high school and I would write in my online journals all the time, but then people sort of just stopped to move to other new things and tumblr was one of them. I didn’t like it at first because tumblr felt more like a place to share other people’s posts and not just for blogging about you. However as I have grown older I find no need to blog and share my thoughts as much and actually have grown to enjoy tumblr as a fun place to share interests.

6. Why did you choose your icon or pfp? Because I just got into the new series, Shadow and Bone and I absolutely love it and the character in my avatar is Kaz Brekker and for anyone who follows me, you’d think you would be familiar with him by now? He’s a cool character. I have a thing for villains. While he is not a villain, he is definitely a bad boy.

7. Why did you choose your header? Because I love astronomy and outer space. I definitely post a lot of aesthetics related to space. Again I am a dreamer.

8. What's your post with the most notes? An appreciation post for Winona Ryder. The gifs aren’t even mine, and suddenly it became so popular I had to find a way to turn off notifications for that post, or maybe people stopped reblogging. I don’t know.

9. How many mutuals do you have? I just counted and 163... damn I had no idea.

10. How many followers do you have? 510 and I do block p0rn blogs and spam bots and eventually blank blogs if it’s clear they are not active. So if I never did, I would have a LOT.

11. How many people do you follow? 606 and I do go through once in awhile to unfollow inactive blogs. and I even did a purge once because I was just following too many things.

12. Have you ever made a shitpost? Maybe? I think so?

13. How often do you use tumblr everyday? I would say at least an hour or two? I check it while I am inbetween gaming and watching TV and get it in spurts.

14. Did you have a fight/ argument with another blog once? LOL um yeah. I have argued with Terf blogs and even some sexist blogs. Legit there was this dude who complained about feminism and said how this country was all literally built by men and how women can’t do that.

15. How do you feel about 'you need to reblog posts'? I find them a bit annoying, but I blog what I want to blog.

16. Do you like tag games? Um yes. Why would I be doing this?

17. Do you like ask games? Kind of, but I feel like people don’t notice when I post them so I hardly get asks.

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? I have no idea.

19. Do you have a crush on a tumblr mutual? Now that’s a secret! =D

20. Tags: @onetine @scatterbrainedhypatia @buffshipper8490 @radioactive-raptor @yeahhiyellow @neverseenaspaceshipbefore @stcrmborn @thisbitchinthecorner @spinnenpfote6 @healthy-collection-of-keyrings @spocks-gay-little-eyebrows @mgummy @alittlebirdandhersecrets @hurtslikeyourmouth @peritwotone @blindlyjump @cosmicbread0 @junkie7004 @blog-anxiousscreenwriter @nerdyben @5boyheaven

and anyone else that wants to do it

[infinitywizard1207]

Our President And The Issue Of EJKs In The Philippines by Santino Fernandez

"Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely-Lord Acton”  

These words to me are important as they reflect a huge societal issue happening right now in The Philippines. This issue has to deal with the police and how they abuse their power towards the people of my country.  It is no secret that Police Brutality is running rampant in some countries right now. Just last May, America experienced a great tragedy with the murder of George Floyd.  The cop killings in the US are rampant but in the Philippines they are as bad if not worse.

Ever since 2016 our president Rodrigo Duterte has been on the so called “War on Drugs.”    In this campaign he promised to rid the country of dangerous substances by the end of his  six year term. However all it has done is create more damage  as this so called “Drug War” targets the poor and less fortunate.  In the years since Duterte has taken office he has implemented Extra Judicial Killings also known as EJKs in the country.   An EJK is when the government sanctions the killing of people or drug addicts  in the country as long as there is evidence.  There is no due process any more and these addicts are not taken to a court of law. These addicts are shot in the streets in cold blood without any hesitation or remorse.

Since the implementation of EJK in our country there have been up to 5000 deaths caused by the EJKs. However human rights groups say it is way beyond 12,000 already.  Human rights groups have been siding with the people because it is a violation of democracy. According to our democratic law everyone deserves their day in court but Duterte prefers to not do that and instead kill the offenders.  In a direct quote from the man himself he says that he will protect the cops who commit the EJKs. Duterte says- “That’s our deal. When I said that you go and destroy the drug industry, destroying means destroying, including human life.” He said police officers who have faced difficulties in carrying out their duties should never stress over it as he says  "I'll take care of you.”  

This has caused many corrupt cops to abuse the power and protection given by the president. Because of this protection the deaths caused by the EJKs have risen rapidly claiming the lives of men, women, and children alike.  One of the many victims was Kian De Los Santos a 17 year old boy in high school who was gunned down by cops.   The official statement by the police was that allegedly Kian drew a firearm on the cops and it prompted them to fire back.  Witness reports and a closed-circuit TV, though, showed two men pulling Kian around a basketball court in civilian wear. At the site of the confrontation, two small sachets of alleged shabu, a .45 calibre firearm and four shot cartridge cases were found. Witnesses have reported that they ordered Kian to run and handed him a gun. The Caloocan policemen believed Kian was a drug runner, but the accusation was vehemently refuted by the teenager's parents.  

However it is not just physical damage and the loss of life that these EJKs cause but mental damage as well.  Human Rights watcher  Carlos H. Conde has investigated the trauma caused by the EJKs. One of Carlos’s subjects was a girl whose father was gunned down by the police which has created massive trauma.  In a direct quote from Carlos-“What struck me deeply was the level of trauma that these kids have, When I talked to her about that, she was very articulate and forthright, but you could sense the deep psychological trauma that she suffered in witnessing the violence and also being reminded every day of what happened to her father”

These children paint a harrowing picture of the long-lasting consequences of the murders. Another harrowing example of  how EJK effects children are three anonymous brothers. These three brothers, who were 15, 13 and 10 when their father was killed over two years ago, now live on the streets, after being essentially deserted by their mother, do not attend school and work menial jobs for rent. A 5-year-old boy's mother said he threatened to kill one of his friends and cover him in packing tape. "It's the same way the boy's father was discovered 19 times after being stabbed, his head wrapped in tape and a sign placed near him reading, "I'm a drug pusher. Don’t emulate me.”

From July 1, 2016 to June 30, 2019, the Philippine National Police announced that 5,526 criminals were killed during police operations. However, according to reports by domestic human rights organizations, this figure does not include the thousands of suspected gunmen killed in incidents that are not seriously investigated by the authorities, raising the death toll to as high as 27,000. Human Rights Watch reports and reputable media sources such as Rappler and Reuters say that these vigilante-style shootings were committed either by police officers themselves or by police-related killers.  This has resulted in many cases with regards to the violation of human rights but only one case was brought to justice and it was the case of Kian.

Even today there are victims of this abuse in power. On Dec 20 2020 a mother and her son were killed by a policeman in Pampanga.  This policeman by the name of Jonel Nuezca shot a middle aged woman by the name of Sonya Gregorio and her son by the name of Frank Gregorio.  This whole incident was recorded on video and shows Nuezca take out a gun and shoot Sonya in the head, then shoots her son while they clutch each other, then shoots each of them a second time. The video soon went viral, prompting an internal investigation of the police officer and murder charges. He has handed himself in to the police but this is again a harsh reminder of how rampant this abuse of power is.

The presidents reach of power also extends over to the media and government. The United Nations Human Rights Council adopted a resolution in July 2019 urging the Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights to send a briefing on the human rights situation in the Philippines in June 2020, putting international pressure for transparency to bear. The Duterte administration reacted by demanding the termination of all financial aid talks from the 18 countries adopting the resolution.

Journalists are also being silenced as well.  This is the case with the company of ABS-CBN  news network and the famous journalist Maria Ressa.  In the case of ABS-CBN the company was accused of political bias.  Duterte accused ABS-CBN of not being impartial or fair during the 2016 elections. These accusations go even further when the President accused ABS-CBN of aiding Duterte’s political competition.  During the hearing for the franchise’s renewal the house of representatives voted on closing ABS-CBN after 25 years of news. Critics of the president say he's gone after media outlets who have closely reported his drug war, which since he took office in 2016 has left thousands of people dead. By government order, ABS-CBN ceased operations of its free TV and radio channels after its 25-year franchise expired in May.

This has caused massive repercussions amongst the Philippine society as 11,000 workers were left without a job and let go.

However there are massive long term effects as well.  ABS-CBN was the number one news network in the country and their network reached across the various provinces. With no news network most of the country is not informed on the various events in the country.  This was the case in November 2020 when Typhoon Ulysses hit the Cagayan Valley. Since there was no news of the upcoming Typhoon the residents of that province were unprepared and not ready. The result was a staggering amount of deaths in the Cagayan valley as well as a massive amount of damage.  All this is the result of Duterte wanting to silence his critics because of his actions in the drug war.

Another example of Journalism being silenced is the case of Maria Ressa. Maria Ressa was the CEO of the news website Rappler.  This news website vehemently criticized and watched  Duterte’s movements and approached towards the drug war.  Ever since the 2016 election  Rappler has been a harsh critic for Duterte but in 2020 Maria Ressa was jailed. The allegations according to the court were “cyberlibel” which is equivalent to 200,000 pesos in damages plus a few years in jail. Ressa’s arrest sparked anger in millions including famous journalist Amal Clooney.  Many have stated that this is an act that takes away the freedom of speech. A right that we Filipinos have because of our democratic government.  Amal has said her self that “the court had become complicit in a sinister action to silence a journalist for exposing corruption and abuse”.  

Rappler scrutinized Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte's government, revealed bot armies and corruption, and reported his ruthless anti-drug campaign, which, by some reports, has resulted in tens of thousands of extrajudicial killings. In exchange, Rappler was criticized as trading "fake news" by the president, and his administration launched multiple lawsuits against him. In addition to the cyber-libel allegations, Ressa is also facing further prosecution for libel, two court proceedings alleging unlawful foreign ownership of her enterprises, and inquiries into her old tax returns. The numerous allegations made against Ressa could lead to prison sentences of about 100 years.

Various journalists have also been  victims to Duterte’s silencing.  In November, one journalist had been killed: news anchor Eduardo Dizon of Mindanao's Kidapawan City, who was shot dead on July 10. At least one of them, Brandon Lee, was seriously wounded in an assault by a gunman in the northern Philippines in August.   But it doesn't stop there as Duterte has passed an Anti Terror Bill which at close examination controls our freedom of speech.  Under the statute, a criminal suspect can be arrested without trial for 14 days, a duration which may be extended to 24 days. Human rights lawyers argue that it breaks a constitutional requirement that after three days of arrest, an individual must be convicted. The anti terror law also will  monitor any social media discourse related to offending the president or his administration.

Even today the ruthless reign of Duterte continues as the police are given more power while the masses suffer. During the lockdown the president has stated that he will kill anyone who violates it. “My orders to the police and the military, if anyone creates trouble, and their lives are in danger: shoot them dead.”   This has created  fear amongst the masses as well as a new view on how the people see our government.

In my personal opinion this is not what a leader is supposed to be. Before I started on this essay I put a quote about power and I feel this is more relevant now than ever. Duterte’s absolute power has corrupted the government absolutely.  It has made the police think they are untouchable and has caused the poor people to suffer.  Our president is waging a war on drugs that is not effective at all and the Filipino people are paying the price.  A good leader in my opinion is one who puts the people first and not his agendas.  A good leader is someone who takes the Filipino people’s lives into consideration and does not murder them in cold blood. So with this current societal issue happening in our country I ask that you spread the awareness of how bad our president is.  Hopefully this country will change for the better and it will see a brighter tomorrow. In the end it is really up to the Filipino people and if they want their country to change.

“People should not be afraid of their governments, governments should be afraid of their people.”

V from V for Vendetta

Sources-

https://www.hrw.org/world-report/2020/country-chapters/philippines

https://humanrightsmeasurement.org/extrajudicial-killings-in-the-philippines/

https://newsinfo.inquirer.net/961396/duterte-to-cops-kill-criminals-if-you-have-to-ill-protect-you

https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/article/what-happens-to-the-families-left-behind-in-dutertes-deadly-campaign-against-drugs/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/asia_pacific/philippines-police-brutality-mother-shot/2020/12/21/0a5f9762-4358-11eb-ac2a-3ac0f2b8ceeb_story.html

https://www.statista.com/statistics/585152/people-shot-to-death-by-us-police-by-race/

https://www.hrw.org/tag/philippines-war-drugs

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-46381697

https://cnnphilippines.com/news/2018/11/29/Kian-delos-Santos-murder-Caloocan-police-guilty.html

https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2020/4/2/shoot-them-dead-duterte-warns-against-violating-lockdown

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/10/world/asia/philippines-congress-media-duterte-abs-cbn.html

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/jun/15/maria-ressa-rappler-editor-found-guilty-of-cyber-libel-charges-in-philippines

https://reliefweb.int/report/philippines/philippines-typhoon-vamco-ulysses-cagayan-valley-region-impact-and-response-24

https://www.npr.org/2020/07/21/893019057/why-rights-groups-worry-about-the-philippines-new-anti-terrorism-law