#even with the memberships and advertisers

[phynali]

To build a new place without censorship:

You cannot rely on advertisers (except for potentially ones related to the sex industry, like sex toy vendors, porn sites, etc), because companies are allergic to having their brand advertise next to content that might not "reflect the (highly sanitized) ideals" of the brand (or whatever). That goes for sexual content but also violent content and hate speech, btw. Advertisers and brands care a lot about effective content moderation (and that's part of why X is losing so much money under Musk, he's bleeding advertisers).

You also cannot turn it into an app because the app store will ban it. There's no AO3 app for a reason. Tumblr removed adult content for this exact reason.

So it has to be website-only (likely with a mobile web version for visual and loading etc, but NOT an app), and it has to be funded either on memberships or on donations. It has to be consumer-funded either way. And if you allow images to be hosted on it, let alone gifs or other content formats, you are looking at increasingly high costs for servers, maintenance, etc.

And if you're not looking at it being an archive or fiction-focused, but rather a social space, then you have to consider if and how you're going to moderate hate speech or what you're going to do about the potential of neo Nazis flooding the platform. Are you going to leave it to users to block, are you going to ban users, who is going to make these decisions? If content or user moderation exists, will it be paid or volunteer? What oversight will there be?

These are just a few of the issues, but the problem is definitely, unequivocally money.

Man we did NOT know how good we had it on 2014 tumblr we had an art HUB on here with zero censorship it was such a beautiful place and now what. The entire fucking internet is censored. Now artists are scattered and too scared to post because of art theft AI and neo con teenagers obsessed with suibaiting anyone who steps out of line it is fucking WHACK where will we end up?? I miss old Tumblr and old DA with such a burning passion.

I feel so old.

Why can’t we build a new place without censorship? Why did they have to ruin the entire internet? Ao3 really is the last bastion.

--

Money.

[thepromiscuousfinger]

Look, there's a reason your post hasn't gained any traction and it's probably because you know and everyone else knows how wrong it is.

You can't be making money off of fanfiction. Especially fanfiction you're already uploading to AO3.

If it was your own original works where you could set up a subscription like patreon, you'd probably gain the support you're looking for.

"Pay $5 for early access to fanfic chapters that are scheduled to be posted publicly anyway" sounds shady af and you know it. Especially for popular fandoms like One Piece, Naruto, BNHA, etc.

[growthhyp]

The Transforming Cum V

Vincent’s eyes lit up as he measured Jonathan’s massive frame, his hands trembling with excitement. The tailor had always dreamed of working on a canvas like this—muscles so defined they seemed sculpted out of marble. “You’re going to need custom everything,” Vincent said, running a tape measure across Jonathan’s chest. The fabric I have here won’t even begin to contain you.

Jonathan chuckled, flexing his biceps unconsciously. “That’s why I came to you. Zayne and Chris will be next. They’ll need your expertise too.”

Vincent nodded, already sketching designs in his mind. “Consider it done. But first—” He paused, glancing at Jonathan with a sly smile. “Let’s make sure you’re comfortable. I might need you to try on a few prototypes before we settle on the final design.”

By the time Jonathan left Vincent’s shop, he felt like a new man. Not just physically, but mentally too. His confidence was soaring, and he couldn’t wait to tell Zayne about their new personal tailor.

Later that evening, Jonathan sat down with Zayne over coffee. “Vincent’s incredible,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “He’s even willing to work on clothes for you and Chris. We’ve got style covered now.”

Zayne grinned, clearly impressed. “Good thinking. Now, what about maintaining all that muscle? You can’t slack off, you know.”

Jonathan sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I know. The school gym isn’t cutting it anymore. I need something bigger, better. But…” He hesitated, drumming his fingers on the table. “I’m broke. College student problems.”

Zayne raised an eyebrow. “There’s gotta be something nearby. What about that place 15 minutes from your apartment?”

Jonathan shrugged. “The reviews are terrible. People say the trainer doesn’t set a good example. Apparently, he’s the opposite of what you’d expect in a fitness coach.”

Curiosity piqued, Jonathan decided to check it out for himself. The gym wasn’t far, and with a month’s worth of savings tucked away, he figured he could at least give it a shot.

When Jonathan walked into the dimly lit gym, he was struck by how empty it felt. A few scattered patrons lifted weights in silence, and behind the counter stood a man who looked anything but a trainer. Jim was tall but painfully thin, his wiry frame swallowed by an oversized hoodie. His face was gaunt, his eyes tired, but there was a spark of determination in them that intrigued Jonathan.

“Hey,” Jonathan greeted, stepping up to the counter. “I’m interested in signing up.”

Jim’s eyes widened in surprise. “Really? You… want to join my gym?”

Jonathan nodded, offering a friendly smile. “Yeah. I’ve been looking for a place to train. What’s the deal here?”

Jim sighed, running a hand through his thinning hair. “Honestly? It’s not great. I inherited this place from my dad. It was his passion, but after he passed, I’ve struggled to keep it going. And—” He hesitated, lowering his voice. “I have a rare muscle atrophy disorder. No matter how much I train, I can’t build muscle. People see me and think, ‘Why would I take advice from him?’”

Jonathan’s heart went out to the guy. There was something heartbreakingly earnest about Jim, and suddenly, Jonathan had an idea.

“What if I could help you?” Jonathan said, leaning in closer. “What if I told you I have a way to transform your body—permanently?”

Jim blinked, confusion written all over his face. “What do you mean? How?”

Jonathan smirked, lowering his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “It’s a special gift I have. All you have to do is trust me.”

Jim’s cheeks flushed, and he glanced around nervously. “I don’t know… What exactly are you proposing?”

Jonathan leaned back, crossing his arms over his broad chest. “Here’s the deal. In exchange for a lifetime membership, I’ll give you the body of your dreams. Think about it. You’ll be the perfect advertisement for this gym. People will flock to you.”

Jim bit his lip, considering. “And this… gift. What does it involve?”

Jonathan’s smile turned mischievous. “It involves me. Trust me, you’ll enjoy it.”

Jim’s breath hitched, and he nodded slowly. “Okay. Let’s do it.”

Jonathan led Jim to a private corner of the gym, away from prying eyes. As they stood close, Jonathan’s hands found Jim’s waist, pulling him in. Jim trembled under his touch, his body tense with anticipation.

“Relax,” Jonathan murmured, his lips brushing against Jim’s ear. “Just let me take care of you.”

Jim shivered, his hands gripping Jonathan’s arms for support. “I’ve never… I mean, I’m… a virgin,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

Jonathan’s eyes softened. “Then I’ll make this special for you.”

Slowly, Jonathan guided Jim to the floor, laying him down gently. He peeled off his own shirt, revealing his chiseled torso, and watched as Jim’s eyes widened in awe.

“You’re beautiful,” Jim breathed, reaching up to touch Jonathan’s abs.

Jonathan chuckled, lowering himself until their bodies were pressed together. “You’re about to feel even better.”

As Jonathan prepared Jim, he noticed how tight the man was, untouched and virginal. It only made him more determined to make this unforgettable.

“Ready?” Jonathan asked, his voice husky with desire.

Jim nodded, his heart pounding in his chest. “Yes. Please.”

The moment Jonathan entered him, Jim gasped, his body arching off the ground. It was overwhelming, the sensation both foreign and exhilarating. Jonathan moved slowly at first, giving Jim time to adjust, but soon the rhythm picked up, their bodies moving in sync.

Jonathan could feel the heat building inside him, and when he finally came, it was with a force that left them both breathless.

But something unexpected happened. As Jonathan pulled out, Jim’s body began to change. Muscles swelled beneath his skin, his frame growing larger and more defined with every passing second.

“Oh God,” Jim moaned, clutching at his chest as the transformation took hold. “What’s happening to me?”

Jonathan watched in awe as Jim’s once frail body morphed into that of a cocky bodybuilder. Every inch of him radiated power and confidence, and the look on Jim’s face was pure ecstasy.

“You’re beautiful,” Jonathan whispered, his voice filled with admiration.

Jim lay there, panting, his new muscles glistening with sweat. “I feel… amazing,” he said, his voice deeper, richer.

And then, as if the pleasure was too much to bear, Jim came, his own transformation complete. The two men collapsed side by side, their bodies still humming with raw energy.

Jim turned to Jonathan, a wicked grin spreading across his face. “So, about that lifetime membership…”

[milkteabinniechan]

♡The Silk Thief's Embrace - Han Jisung

MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY MEMBERSHIP//M.LIST

pairing: perv! Han Jisung x fem! reader

summary: You've been Han Jisung's neighbors for a few months now and he's only spoken a few words to you. But when you invite him over to help around the house, he helps himself to a little souvenir to take back to his bedroom.

warnings: panty stealing, panty sniffing, pervert behavior!! masturbation, humiliation

“On earth; or damned because, half animal, One lacks direct instinct, because one wakes, Afloat on movement that divides and breaks.”

Han stood in front of his bedroom fan as it ocellated back and forth across his body. With the cold air only lasting a few seconds as it swept across his bare skin. Summer had swooped in and landed smack dab in the middle of his apartment complex. The entire building felt like a sauna and Han’s tiny fan was doing little to relieve him. The one solace he had, however, was seeing you. Thursday was laundry day. So he knew that meant for just a few brief moments of the day, he would stand with you in a cramped laundry room and talk about your days.

Han gathered his clothes in a small laundry basket and made his way down the hallway towards the laundry room. It was still early and he knew you wouldn't be there yet, but he was hoping to snag the two good machines that actually worked properly. He turned the corner to see you already standing at the washing machine. You turned and smiled, taking notice of him almost immediately.

“Oh, hi Han! So hot today, huh?”

You pulled at the collar of your shirt and obnoxiously fanned your face. Your skin was glistening and glowing with small dew drops of sweat. Your hair clung to your forehead, while your cheeks blushed a flattering rosy hue.

Han stood in the doorway for a moment before coming back to his sensing and making his way to you. He loaded up a machine of his own and nodded his head meekly.

“Y-yeah… Hot.” He said under his breath, barely above a whisper.

You continued to fan your face and you leaned actually against the washing machine behind you, your arms bent back at the top like a model on the beach, advertising for beer or sunglasses. Han’s eyes raked over your entire body, his hands still loading the machine with clothes. His eyes trailed up from your legs to your hips. From your hips all the way up to your breasts. Then from your breasts to your lips. Han’s vision lingered on your lips for a moment before tracing back down to your hips. You wore these jean shorts that hugged your body perfectly. Every curve and dip of your figure poured into those shorts like a fine wine.

In another life, I want to come back as a button on her jean shorts.

Han stood up slowly and pressed the START button on his machine. The cycle began whirling and thumping around as the two of you stood in the noise for a moment.

“Han, could I ask you a favor? It's kind of last minute.” Your soft voice cut through the rumble of the laundry machines.

Han perked up, his eyes wide and attentive. He nodded his head slowly,

“Sure. What's up?”

You looked down at your feet for a moment, as if the favor you had for him was something awful or embarrassing. Eventually, you looked back at him with an unsure expression.

“My A/C unit has been acting up and I really don't want to have to buy another one. Do you think you could come take a look at it?”

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Han’s hands were beginning to sweat more than they already were. His mouth turned dry and the air in his lungs seemed to disappear for a moment. Somehow he willed the words “Yes” and “Sounds great” to come out of his mouth. You thanked him profusely and told him to be at your place at 6pm. You said you needed time to fold your laundry but Han didn't hear that part, his mind was elsewhere and now he just had to wait until 6pm.

Han stood outside your door that evening at 5:58pm. He fist hovered over your door and he stared at his watch. But without warning, you opened the door. You yelped at the sight of Han already standing there but quickly laughed it off. You motioned your hand inside and Han followed you. You started to walk towards your bedroom and Han was soon to follow. He immediately loved the smell of your apartment. The first scent was definitely your laundry detergent, something with lavender and lemon. The next scent was something sweeter, like baked goods. Had you been baking? He loved the idea of you baking muffins and cookies and other sweets.

“Here it is.” You stopped in front of your bedroom window where a large, and slightly rusted, air conditioning unit was wedged into the open window.

Han has recognized the model of a/c unit from his mother's house. She had never bothered to install central air so every summer Han went down to the basement and lugged up this behemoth of a device and placed it snug against the window of his mother's living room. Han looked over your air conditioning unit and gave a firm nod.

“I'll take a look.” He said confidently, giving you a soft smile.

You returned the smile and told him you would just be in the living room if he needed anything. And just like that you were gone. Han stood frozen for a moment, unsure of what to do next. He looked over the unit before crouching down in front of it. He noticed a small drip coming from the side and decided to follow it to its source. The search led him to a small tube that has been disconnected from the unit entirely.

Han smirked to himself and plugged the tube back into its proper place. He switched the unit on and soon felt the cooling arctic breeze of a functional air conditioner. Still crouched, he turned his body to shout the good news to you when his eyes caught something interesting.

Below your dresser, almost completely out of sight, was a pair of black lace panties. You must have missed them when you were putting your laundry away. They lay there on the carpet, almost calling out his name. Han’s breath hitched in his throat as he took in the sight. He was frozen again and unsure of what to do. His mind was scolding him, telling him to get that perverted idea out of his mind. But his cock… his cock was pleading with him to grab those delicate lace panties and shove them around his shaft. Han shifted a bit in his crouched positions, eyes still fixated on your panties.

“How's it going in here?” Your voice rang out from the living room but was drawing closer.

Han had to make a decision. It was now or never. As you stepped closer to the bedroom doorway, Han reached his hand out instinctively and grabbed for the misplaced underwear. He hastily shoved them into the pocket of his jeans and stood up from the floor.

“All good! Got it working now.” He responded, still a bit out of breath.

You ran over to the A/C unit and breathed in the cold air. You shamelessly moaned from the sensation and thanked Han in an equally breathless voice.

Han walked out of your apartment as quickly as he could. You offered to pay him or even split a pizza but he made up some excuse about needing to get home right away. When he finally reached his own apartment, his heart was nearly beating out of his chest. He slid his hand into his pocket and felt the lace material against his fingertips. He groaned low as he slowly pulled the panties from his pocket and brought them up to his face, breathing in deeply.

The first initial contact of your scent flew up through his nostrils and straight to his brain. Every cell was on fire with lust. Desire was pumping through his face and it was all he could do not to whimper directly into the fabric draped across his face. He let your panties lay along the top of his face as he slid his hand down his pants. Any common sense that once occupied his mind was wiped away with the first whiff of your scent.

His hand slithered down past his waistband and found his cock easily like it had so many times before. But now there were already small beads of precum beginning to form and drip out of his needy tip. He was so achingly desperate for you. He could feel it. The way his hips moved into his hand like he was moving into you. He gripped his shaft tighter and picked up the speed ever so slightly. He leaned his head back against the door and imagined you sitting directly on his face. Perhaps he just pushed your panties aside. He imagined each lick he gave you, his tongue also gliding across the fabric of your panties. Just the edge of them, as you rocked your hips with the motion of his head. His tongue flicking and lapping your most sensitive spots.

Your panties shifted and moved on Han’s face as he continued to give his hard cock long, pleasing strokes. He whimpered softly into the material as it made its way to his open mouth. He tongue lolled out of his mouth as your lace panties coated his tongue. Han’s whimpers soon became louder and more pathetic as he tasted you. His tongue swirled around the delicate fabric of your stolen lace panties.

Han’s hand pushed through the final pumped until hot, thick ropes shot out and onto the floor. He let out a low, animalistic growl as he sprayed and covered where he stood. He laid his head back on the front door and sighed heavily. He felt satisfied and disgusting all at the same time. And he couldn't wait to do it again.

taglist: @simply-trash5 @xoxoxh @trixiekaulitz @chrizzztopherbang @cassidymb121 @roanns-posts @staysinbloom @yaorzu-blog @bubblebisk @cotton-candycloudz @beautyinhypnosis @domicaru @strawberry31 @slxtmeri @newhope8 @tinyelfperson @dandelions-143 @stayyyyyyyyyyyy21 @msauthor @fun-fanfics @ell0thebell @stephanieeeyang @juskz @kimahreummm @readr1221 @kayleefriedchicken @ovulatingrn @hwnglixho @darthmaddie25 @queen-in-the-shadows @itgirlalisaa @miinhoo @greyaia @chanchansgirly @skzleeknowcorecan @skz-smut-reader

[ashleyisartsy]

Problems (objective and personal) I'm not seeing discussed a lot w this new WatcherTV thing, in no particular order:

-Alienates people internationally who literally CANNOT GET the streaming service!

-Alienates casual fans who don't watch or want to watch all of their shows. Putting down 60 bucks a year to watch just one or two shows is kind of insane, at least for me.

-The volume of content Watcher has produced historically hasn't been enough to justify a separate streamer. I understand there's no way a small team could compete with something like Netflix, obviously, but that's what you're trying to do by putting yourself in the streamer market.

-Will this streamer be secure? What steps are in place to protect your viewers info? ESPECIALLY payment info.

-Will it be easily watchable on multiple devices? I watch YouTube videos on my phone at work 90% of the time, or at home on my TV thru my switch. Is this a browser only deal?

-What are the internet requirements for this? Believe it or not most streaming services won't run on my internet personally. I don't have any for that reason. I can watch YouTube on 360p, or on my 2-bar-reception phone data. Not everywhere has stable reliable internet.

-The suddenness and totality of the move was going to be jarring no matter what, if the idea had been introduced gradually or started as a hybrid model to test audience interest there wouldn't be nearly this amount of pushback.

-I understand the people saying "pay artists!!" Bc I am one, and I get that their quality is expensive and they have a whole company's worth of people to support. I do actually think their work is worth paying for! Everyone's is! But convincing anyone to pay for something they previously got for free is going to be a hard sell. They were still getting paid before, they're now just asking us to pay instead of the advertisers. Idk about you, but that's a way bigger hit to my pocketbook than a multimillion dollar company's bank account.

-I get that YouTube can be a really shitty place to be a creator sometimes, and that being beholden to advertisers is something they don't want to be. It's why they left Buzzfeed! They already have a patreon and merch and it's clearly not been enough for their ambitions. But shooting yourself in the foot because your running shoes are wearing out isn't going to make you a better marathon runner. They had to know that there was going to be a not small portion of their audience unwilling to make this move with them (and again, lots literally aren't able to!)

-If they had a free w/ ads option, or even did a hybrid model with whole shows behind the pay wall, or even just ran a fucking crowd funding campaign to help cover costs of new seasons of shows, any of those things could have worked. They don't even have YouTube memberships turned on, which I've personally seen many many channels do even when they already have a patreon. It really doesn't seem like they've exhausted other options, at least from an outside perspective, which is all we have as viewers!

-I get that this has been in the works for a long time, and that there probably isn't a way for them to back out now. But I hope they can find a way to make this more accessible if they want it to work at all. I truly am not wishing for their downfall, but the whole situation is an awful mess.

Idk, rant over. As a lot of you are I'm feeling very disappointed and upset with this one, and I'm not paying for it either. Hope the boys can salvage this one for their and their crew's sake. Would really hate for this to be the end.

[bitchesgetriches]

{ MASTERPOST } Everything You Need to Know about Saving Money and Being Frugal

We’re all in this together. Don’t give up.

On food and groceries:

How to Shop for Groceries like a Boss

Why Name Brand Products Are Beneath You: The Honor and Glory of Buying Generic

If You Don’t Eat Leftovers I Don’t Even Want to Know You

You Are above Bottled Water, You Elegant Land Mermaid

You Should Learn To Cook. Here’s Why.

On entertainment and socializing:

The Frugal Introvert’s Guide to the Weekend

7 Totally Reasonable Ways To Save Money on Cheap Entertainment 

Take Pride in Being a Cheap Date

The Library Is a Magical Place and You Should Fucking Go There

Your Library Lets You Stream Audiobooks and eBooks FOR FREEEEEEE!

What’s the Effect of Social Media on Your Finances?

You Won’t Regret Your Frugal 20s

On health:

How to Pay Hospital Bills When You’re Flat Broke

Run With Me if You Want to Save: How Exercising Will Save You Money

Our Master List of 100% Free Mental Health Self-Care Tactics

Why You Probably Don’t Need That Gym Membership

How to Get DIRT CHEAP Pet Medication, Without a Prescription 

On other big expenses:

Businesses Will Happily Give You HUGE Discounts if You Ask This Magic Question

Understand the Hidden Costs of Travel and Avoid Them Like the Plague

Other People’s Weddings Don’t Have to Make You Broke

You Deserve Cheap, Fake Jewelry… Just Like Coco Chanel

3 Times I Was Damn Grateful for My Emergency Fund (and Side Income) 

When (and How) to Try Refinancing or Consolidating Student Loans

The Real Story of How I Paid Off My Mortgage Early in 4 Years 

Season 2, Episode 2: “I’m Not Ready to Buy a House—But How Do I *Get Ready* to Get Ready?”

The Most Impactful Financial Decision I’ve Ever Made… and Why I Don’t Recommend It

On buying secondhand and trading:

Almost Everything Can Be Purchased Secondhand

I Am a Craigslist Samurai and so Can You: How to Sell Used Stuff Online

The Delicate Art of the Friend Trade

On giving gifts and charitable donations:

How Can I Tame My Family’s Crazy Gift-Giving Expectations?

In Defense of Shameless Regifting

Make Sure Your Donations Have the Biggest Impact by Ruthlessly Judging Charities

The Anti-Consumerist Gift Guide: I Have No Gift to Bring, Pa Rum Pa Pum Pum

How to Spot a Charitable Scam

Ask the Bitches: How Do I Say “No” When a Loved One Asks for Money… Again? 

On resisting temptation:

How to Insulate Yourself From Advertisements

Making Decisions Under Stress: The Siren Song of Chocolate Cake

The Magically Frugal Power of Patience

6 Proven Tactics for Avoiding Emotional Impulse Spending

On minimalism and buying less:

Don’t Spend Money on Shit You Don’t Like, Fool

Everything I Know About Minimalism I Learned from the Zombie Apocalypse

Slay Your Financial Vampires

The Subscription Box Craze and the Mindlessness of Wasteful Spending

On saving money:

How To Start Small by Saving Small

Not Every Savings Account Is Created Equal

The Unexpected Benefits (and Downsides) of Money Challenges

Budgets Don’t Work for Everyone—Try the Spending Tracker System Instead

From HYSAs to CDs, Here’s How to Level Up Your Financial Savings

Season 2, Episode 10: “Which Is Smarter: Getting a Loan? or Saving up to Pay Cash?”

The Magic of Unclaimed Property: How I Made $1,900 in 10 Minutes by Being a Disorganized Mess

We will periodically update this list with newer articles. And by “periodically” I mean “when we remember that it’s something we forgot to do for four months.”

Bitches Get Riches: setting realistic expectations since 2017!

Start saving right heckin’ now!

If you want to start small with your savings, consider signing up for an Acorns account! They round up your every purchase to the nearest dollar and save and invest the change for you. We like them so much we’ve generously allowed them to sponsor us with this affiliate link:

Start investing today with Acorns

[zenless-zideblog-zero]

Imagine, If you would, you're going about your day, maybe getting some Ramen for lunch while at work, and this massive semi truck just lazily rolls by, blaring monotonous advertisements for this random video rental place down on Sixth street. You think "What kinda money are they making to have a goddamn SEMI advertising for them.

The next day you head over. There's the pink-haired lady from that Vision Construction case. She promoting the store. You can't help but go in and rent something.

A blue-haired girl convinces you to join in on a membership and gets you the EXACT movie you wanted to see. You leave bewildered and whimsical.

It's a week later. You're returning the tape. The president of Belobog industries is now promoting the store (Is their financial issue really that bad?) You enter the store. You return the tape. The OTHER manager, a young man with gray/silver hair is talking to the LUCIANA, the MISSING DAUGHTER of the MONTEFIO FAMILY.

He convinces you to get the premium membership. You give your dennies to the Bangboo working the counter and leave.

Your mom is sick and wants to watch her wedding video, perhaps for the last time. It's in her apartment, somewhere in a hollow. You put out a commission on the inter-knot for help with retrieval.

You see the most Gorgeous maid you could possibly imagine, and she fucking floating beside two tiny Bangboo, along with two PubSec Officers, one being a thiren, and the other is Zhu Yuan who you only recognize because of all the promotional material for PubSec involving her!

Then the Investigator Comes.

It's a Bangboo from that fucking movie place.

You don't even like movies all that much you'd rather read a book!

[hms-no-fun]

Hi! I just read your post about your opinion on "AI" and I really liked it. If it's no bother, what's your opinion on people who use it for studying? Like writing essays, solving problems and stuff like that?

I haven't been a fan of AI from the beginning and I've heard that you shouldn't ask it for anything because then you help it develop. But I don't know how to explain that to friends and classmates or even if it's true anymore. Because I've seen some of the prompts it can come up with and they're not bad and I've heard people say that the summaries AI makes are really good and I just... I dunno. I'm at a loss

Sorry if this is a lot or something you simply don't want to reply to. You made really good points when talking about AI and I really liked it and this has been weighing on me for a while :)

on a base level, i don't really have a strongly articulated opinion on the subject because i don't use AI, and i'm 35 so i'm not in school anymore and i don't have a ton of college-aged friends either. i have little exposure to the people who use AI in this way nor to the people who have to deal with AI being used in this way, so my perspective here is totally hypothetical and unscientific.

what i was getting at in my original AI post was a general macroeconomic point about how all of the supposed efficiency gains of AI are an extension of the tech CEO's dislike of paying and/or giving credit to anyone they deem less skilled or intelligent than them. that it's conspicuous how AI conveniently falls into place after many decades of devaluing and deskilling creative/artistic labor industries. historically, for a lot of artists the most frequently available & highest paying gigs were in advertising. i can't speak to the specifics when it comes to visual art or written copy, but i *can* say that when i worked in the oklahoma film industry, the most coveted jobs were always the commercials. great pay for relatively less work, with none of the complications that often arise working on amateur productions. not to mention they were union gigs, a rare enough thing in a right to work state, so anyone trying to make a career out of film work wanting to bank their union hours to qualify for IATSE membership always had their ears to the ground for an opening. which didn't come often because, as you might expect, anyone who *got* one of those jobs aimed to keep it as long as possible. who could blame em, either? one person i met who managed to get consistent ad work said they could afford to work all of two or three months a year, so they could spend the rest of their time doing low-budget productions and (occasionally) student films.

there was a time when this was the standard for the film industry, even in LA; you expected to work 3 to 5 shows a year (exact number's hard to estimate because production schedules vary wildly between ads, films, and tv shows) for six to eight months if not less, so you'd have your bills well covered through the lean periods and be able to recover from what is an enormously taxing job both physically and emotionally. this was never true for EVERYONE, film work's always been a hustle and making a career of it is often a luck-based crapshoot, but generally that was the model and for a lot of folks it worked. it meant more time to practice their skills on the job, sustainably building expertise and domain knowledge that they could then pass down to future newcomers. anything that removes such opportunities decreases the amount of practice workers get, and any increased demand on their time makes them significantly more likely to burn out of the industry early. lower pay, shorter shoots, busier schedules, these aren't just bad for individual workers but for the entire industry, and that includes the robust and well-funded advertising industry.

well, anyway, this year's coca-cola christmas ad was made with AI. they had maybe one person on quality control using an adobe aftereffects mask to add in the coke branding. this is the ultimate intended use-case for AI. it required the expertise of zero unionized labor, and worst of all the end result is largely indistinguishable from the alternative. you'll often see folks despair at this verisimilitude, particularly when a study comes out that shows (for instance) people can't tell the difference between real poetry and chat gpt generated poetry. i despair as well, but for different reasons. i despair that production of ads is a better source of income and experience for film workers than traditional movies or television. i despair that this technology is fulfilling an age-old promise about the disposability of artistic labor. poetry is not particularly valued by our society, is rarely taught to people beyond a beginner's gloss on meter and rhyme. "my name is sarah zedig and i'm here to say, i'm sick of this AI in a major way" type shit. end a post with the line "i so just wish that it would go away and never come back again!" and then the haiku bot swoops in and says, oh, 5/7/5 you say? that is technically a haiku! and then you put a haiku-making minigame in your crowd-pleasing japanese nationalist open world chanbara simulator, because making a haiku is basically a matter of selecting one from 27 possible phrase combinations. wait, what do you mean the actual rules of haiku are more elastic and subjective than that? that's not what my english teacher said in sixth grade!

AI is able to slip in and surprise us with its ability to mimic human-produced art because we already treat most human-produced art like mechanical surplus of little to no value. ours is a culture of wikipedia-level knowledge, where you have every incentive to learn a lot of facts about something so that you can sufficiently pretend to have actually experienced it. but this is not to say that humans would be better able to tell the difference between human produced and AI produced poetry if they were more educated about poetry! the primary disconnect here is economic. Poets already couldn't make a fucking living making poetry, and now any old schmuck can plug a prompt into chatgpt and say they wrote a sonnet. even though they always had the ability to sit down and write a sonnet!

boosters love to make hay about "deskilling" and "democratizing" and "making accessible" these supposedly gatekept realms of supposedly bourgeois expression, but what they're really saying (whether they know it or not) is that skill and training have no value anymore. and they have been saying this since long before AI as we know it now existed! creative labor is the backbone of so much of our world, and yet it is commonly accepted as a poverty profession. i grew up reading books and watching movies based on books and hearing endless conversation about books and yet when i told my family "i want to be a writer" they said "that's a great way to die homeless." like, this is where the conversation about AI's impact starts. we already have a culture that simultaneously NEEDS the products of artistic labor, yet vilifies and denigrates the workers who perform that labor. folks see a comic panel or a corporate logo or a modern art piece and say "my kid could do that," because they don't perceive the decades of training, practice, networking, and experimentation that resulted in the finished product. these folks do not understand that just because the labor of art is often invisible doesn't mean it isn't work.

i think this entire conversation is backwards. in an ideal world, none of this matters. human labor should not be valued over machine labor because it inherently possesses an aura of human-ness. art made by humans isn't better than AI generated art on qualitative grounds. art is subjective. you're not wrong to find beauty in an AI image if the image is beautiful. to my mind, the value of human artistic labor comes down to the simple fact that the world is better when human beings make art. the world is better when we have the time and freedom to experiment, to play, to practice, to develop and refine our skills to no particular end except whatever arbitrary goal we set for ourselves. the world is better when people collaborate on a film set to solve problems that arise organically out of the conditions of shooting on a live location. what i see AI being used for is removing as many opportunities for human creativity as possible and replacing them with statistical averages of prior human creativity. this passes muster because art is a product that exists to turn a profit. because publicly traded companies have a legal responsibility to their shareholders to take every opportunity to turn a profit regardless of how obviously bad for people those opportunities might be.

that common sense says writing poetry, writing prose, writing anything is primarily about reaching the end of the line, about having written something, IS the problem. i've been going through the many unfinished novels i wrote in high school lately, literally hundreds of thousands of words that i shared with maybe a dozen people and probably never will again. what value do those words have? was writing them a waste of time since i never posted them, never finished them, never turned a profit off them? no! what i've learned going back through those old drafts is that i'm only the writer i am today BECAUSE i put so many hours into writing generic grimdark fantasy stories and bizarrely complicated werewolf mythologies.

you know i used to do open mics? we had a poetry group that met once a month at a local cafe in college. each night we'd start by asking five words from the audience, then inviting everyone to compose a poem using those words in 10 to 15 minutes. whoever wanted to could read their poem, and whoever got the most applause won a free drink from the cafe. then we'd spend the rest of the night having folks sign up to come and read whatever. sometimes you'd get heartfelt poems about personal experiences, sometimes you'd get ambitious soundcloud rappers, sometimes you'd get a frat guy taking the piss, sometimes you'd get a mousy autist just doing their best. i don't know that any of the poetry i wrote back then has particular value today, but i don't really care. the point of it was the experience in that moment. the experience of composing something on the fly, or having something you wrote a couple days ago, then standing up and reading it. the value was in the performance itself, in the momentary synthesis between me and the audience. i found out then that i was pretty good at making people cry, and i could not have had that experience in any other venue. i could not have felt it so viscerally had i just posted it online. and i cannot wrap up that experience and give it to you, because it only existed then.

i think more people would write poetry if they had more hours in a day to spare for frivolities, if there existed more spaces where small groups could organize open mics, if transit made those spaces more widely accessible, if everyone made enough money that they weren't burned the fuck out and not in the mood to go to an open mic tonight, if we saw poetry as a mode of personal reflection which was as much about the experience of having written it as anything else. this is the case for all the arts. right now, the only people who can afford to make a living doing art are already wealthy, because art doesn't pay well. this leads to brain drain and overall lowering quality standards, because the suburban petty bouge middle class largely do not experience the world as it materially exists for the rest of us. i often feel that many tech CEOs want to be remembered the way andy warhol is remembered. they want to be loved and worshipped not just for business acumen but for aesthetic value, they want to get the kind of credit that artists get-- because despite the fact that artists don't get paid shit, they also frequently get told by people "your work changed my life." how is it that a working class person with little to no education can write a story that isn't just liked but celebrated, that hundreds or thousands of people imprint on, that leaves a mark on culture you can't quantify or predict or recreate? this is AI's primary use-case, to "democratize" art in such a way that hacks no longer have to work as hard to pretend to be good at what they do. i mean, hell, i have to imagine every rich person with an autobiography in the works is absolutely THRILLED that they no longer have to pay a ghost writer!

so, circling back around to the meat of your question. as far as telling people not to use AI because "you're just helping to train it," that ship has long since sailed. getting mad at individuals for using AI right now is about as futile as getting mad at individuals for not masking-- yes, obviously they should wear a mask and write their own essays, but to say this is simply a matter of millions of individuals making the same bad but unrelated choice over and over is neoliberal hogwash. people stopped masking because they were told to stop masking by a government in league with corporate interests which had every incentive to break every avenue of solidarity that emerged in 2020. they politicized masks, calling them "the scarlet letter of [the] pandemic". biden himself insisted this was "a pandemic of the unvaccinated", helpfully communicating to the public that if you're vaccinated, you don't need to mask. all those high case numbers and death counts? those only happen to the bad people.

now you have CEOs and politicians and credulous media outlets and droves of grift-hungry influencers hard selling the benefits of AI in everything everywhere all the time. companies have bent over backwards to incorporate AI despite ethics and security worries because they have a fiduciary responsibility to their shareholders, and everyone with money is calling this the next big thing. in short, companies are following the money, because that's what companies do. they, in turn, are telling their customers what tools to use and how. so of course lots of people are using AI for things they probably shouldn't. why wouldn't they? "the high school/college essay" as such has been quantized and stripmined by an education system dominated by test scores over comprehension. it is SUPPOSED to be an exercise in articulating ideas, to teach the student how to argue persuasively. the final work has little to no value, because the point is the process. but when you've got a system that lives and dies by its grades, within which teachers are given increasingly more work to do, less time to do it in, and a much worse paycheck for their trouble, the essay increasingly becomes a simple pass/fail gauntlet to match the expected pace set by the simple, clean, readily gradable multiple choice quiz. in an education system where the stakes for students are higher than they've ever been, within which you are increasingly expected to do more work in less time with lower-quality guidance from your overworked teachers, there is every incentive to get chatgpt to write your essay for you.

do you see what i'm saying? we can argue all day about the shoulds here. of course i think it's better when people write their own essays, do their own research, personally read the assigned readings. but cheating has always been a problem. a lot of these same fears were aired over the rising popularity of cliffs notes in the 90s and 2000s! the real problem here is systemic. it's economic. i would have very little issue with the output of AI if existing conditions were not already so precarious. but then, if the conditions were different, AI as we know it likely would not exist. it emerges today as the last gasp of a tech industry that has been floundering for a reason to exist ever since the smart phone dominated the market. they tried crypto. they tried the metaverse. now they're going all-in on AI because it's a perfect storm of shareholder-friendly buzzwords and the unscientific technomythology that's been sold to laymen by credulous press sycophants for decades. It slots right into this niche where the last of our vestigial respect for "the artist" once existed. it is the ultimate expression of capitalist realism, finally at long last doing away with the notion that the suits at disney could never in their wildest dreams come up with something half as cool as the average queer fanfic writer. now they've got a program that can plagiarize that fanfic (along with a dozen others) for them, laundering the theft through a layer of transformation which perhaps mirrors how the tech industry often exploits open source software to the detriment of the open source community. the catastrophe of AI is that it's the fulfillment of a promise that certainly predates computers at the very least.

so, i don't really know what to tell someone who uses AI for their work. if i was talking to a student, i'd say that relying chatgpt is really gonna screw you over when it comes time take the SAT or ACT, and you have to write an essay from scratch by hand in a monitored environment-- but like, i also think the ACT and SAT and probably all the other standardized tests shouldn't exist? or at the very least ought to be severely devalued, since prep for those tests often sabotages the integrity of actual classroom education. although, i guess at this point the only way forward for education (that isn't getting on both knees and deep-throating big tech) is more real-time in-class monitored essay writing, which honestly might be better for all parties anyway. of course that does nothing to address research essays you can't write in a single class session. to someone who uses AI for research, i'd probably say the same thing as i would to someone who uses wikipedia: it's a fine enough place to start, but don't cite it. click through links, find sources, make sure what you're reading is real, don't rely on someone else's generalization. know that chatgpt is likely not pulling information from a discrete database of individual files that it compartmentalizes the way you might expect, but rather is a statistical average of a broad dataset about which it cannot have an opinion or interpretation. sometimes it will link you to real information, but just as often it will invent information from whole cloth. honestly, the more i talk it out, the more i realize all this advice is basically identical to the advice adults were giving me in the early 2000s.

which really does cement for me that the crisis AI is causing in education isn't new and did not come from nowhere. before chatgpt, students were hiring freelancers on fiverr. i already mentioned cliffs notes. i never used any of these in college, but i'll also freely admit that i rarely did all my assigned reading. i was the "always raises her hand" bitch, and every once in a while i'd get other students who were always dead silent in class asking me how i found the time to get the reading done. i'd tell them, i don't. i read the beginning, i read the ending, and then i skim the middle. whenever a word or phrase jumps out at me, i make a note of it. that way, when the professor asks a question in class, i have exactly enough specific pieces of information at hand to give the impression of having done the reading. and then i told them that i learned how to do this from the very same professor that was teaching that class. the thing is, it's not like i learned nothing from this process. i retained quite a lot of information from those readings! this is, broadly, a skill that emerges from years of writing and reading essays. but then you take a step back and remember that for most college students (who are not pursuing any kind of arts degree), this skillset is relevant to an astonishingly minimal proportion of their overall course load. college as it exists right now is treated as a jobs training program, within which "the essay" is a relic of an outdated institution that highly valued a generalist liberal education where today absolute specialization seems more the norm. so AI comes in as the coup de gras to that old institution. artists like myself may not have the constitution for the kind of work that colleges now exist to funnel you into, but those folks who've never put a day's thought into the work of making art can now have a computer generate something at least as good at a glance as basically anything i could make. as far as the market is concerned, that's all that matters. the contents of an artwork, what it means to its creator, the historic currents it emerges out of, these are all technicalities that the broad public has been well trained not to give a shit about most of the time. what matters is the commodity and the economic activity it exists to generate.

but i think at the end of the day, folks largely want to pay for art made by human beings. that it's so hard for a human being to make a living creating and selling art is a question far older than AI, and whose answer hasn't changed. pay workers more. drastically lower rents. build more affordable housing. make healthcare free. make education free. massively expand public transit. it is simply impossible to overstate how much these things alone would change the conversation about AI, because it would change the conversation about everything. SO MUCH of the dominance of capital in our lives comes down to our reliance on cars for transit (time to get a loan and pay for insurance), our reliance on jobs for health insurance (can't quit for moral reasons if it's paying for your insulin), etc etc etc. many of AI's uses are borne out of economic precarity and a ruling class desperate to vacuum up every loose penny they can find. all those billionaires running around making awful choices for the rest of us? they stole those billions. that is where our security went. that is why everything is falling apart, because the only option remaining to *every* institutional element of society is to go all-in on the profit motive. tax these motherfuckers and re-institute public arts funding. hey, did you know the us government used to give out grants to artists? did you know we used to have public broadcast networks where you could make programs that were shown to your local community? why the hell aren't there public youtube clones? why aren't there public transit apps? why aren't we CONSTANTLY talking about nationalizing these abusive fucking industries that are falling over themselves to integrate AI because their entire modus operandi is increasing profits regardless of product quality?

these are the questions i ask myself when i think about solutions to the AI problem. tech needs to be regulated, the monopolies need breaking up, but that's not enough. AI is a symptom of a much deeper illness whose treatment requires systemic solutions. and while i'm frustrated when i see people rely on AI for their work, or otherwise denigrate artists who feel AI has devalued their field, on some level i can't blame them. they are only doing what they've been told to do. all of which merely strengthens my belief in the necessity of an equitable socialist future (itself barely step zero in the long path towards a communist future, and even that would only be a few steps on the even longer path to a properly anarchist future). improve the material conditions and you weaken the dominance of capitalist realism, however minutely. and while there are plenty of reasons to despair at the likelihood of such a future given a second trump presidency, i always try to remember that socialist policies are very popular and a *lot* of that popularity emerged during the first trump administration. the only wrong answer here is to assume that losing an election is the same thing as losing a war, that our inability to put the genie back in its bottle means we can't see our own wishes granted.

i dunno if i answered your question but i sure did say a lot of stuff, didn't i?

[eggcats]

"people are mad that that artists wanted to be paid" no, people are mad that they HAD places of revenue they could have invested in and instead decided to fuck everyone over and piss off their fans who have been there since the buzzfeed days

(+ the only reason they're now saying they're not pulling content is BECAUSE of the backlash, and this isn't even going into how any growth is now impossible if it's their own platform, they are NOT big enough or produce enough content for this)

like, apparently they have a patreon? have never heard of it. absolutely no advertisement on it, when PLENTY of people would subscribe if they plugged it at ALL (like, fans love bts content, early episodes, extra/uncut stuff, having their names be credited at the end, a discord, etc) but I've never heard of it, and according to people who have subscribed, they didn't find it worth their money (not an ideal baseline for their own service)

they have merch? make more and better quality/nicer designs (or just fun quotes! so much of my stuff from their buzzfeed days is just shane quotes, but the only stuff I've bought from them now is their jackets and the professor doll, nothing else. I've looked at their catalog, it's ugly. put a funny quote on a shirt and I'll buy it guys, it's not that hard)

a youtube membership for similar stuff to the patreon, yt livestreams, USE THE PLATFORM YOURE ON MAYBE???

explicitly asking fans to turn off adblock for them on their videos

but, like, I am absolutely not paying $60 just for like 1-2 shows that only get like 4 episodes a year. they do NOT have the content for this on their own (and why tf do they have 25+ employees???? bro what) - not to mention, the inaccessibility the new platform and ability for non US based fans to even subscribe

people watch bc of the dynamic between Shane and Ryan, some of my favorite episodes are ones where we get the random text on screen- nothing fancy

tbh I get what they want but it's been my opinion that too much of their stuff that I watch has become a) formuliac and b) overproduced without much to show (imo mystery files comes to mind, it's Fine but I only enjoyed the banter vs all the unnecessary visuals, the same with ghost files)

I've seen people mention how expensive just the ghost hunting stuff is, and like yeah, maybe stop buying that big fancy brandname equipment without and instead ask for sponsors to advertise your stuff, all that stuff is nonsense anyway so it's not like you're lying about like betterhelp or something

and idk, maybe having a show where you apparently eat gold and caviar isn't the best if you're struggling with money (esp bc who watches it? not me)

what they need is someone who actually knows anything as their ceo, having less than half the staff they do, and investing in the avenues they already have with SOME pay walled content (not all), and maybe learn how to actually produce their shows without bleeding themselves dry bc the fans watch for THEM not the "production value"

[motziedapul]

Saw this discussion on Reddit about independent podcasts and I wanted to throw my hat into the ring!

The original post was asking if a podcast is still indie if it's part of a network, and the answer is, usually, yes. Unless they are explicitly financed by the network in production, which many network podcasts aren't.

I'll go into what our Rusty Quill Network membership means below, but these comments are generally correct:

So people must be wondering what being part of the RQ Network means if they're not financing us:

Two things:

1) We're now part of their ad revenue structure and get a percentage of ad revenue from ads run on our show and Rusty Quill site.

2) Rusty Quill will market us to their audience, which gives us access to a bigger audience than we had.

You'll notice that neither of those mean Rusty Quill pays us, because they don't *pay* us per se. It's a revenue sharing system.

Would you like to know how much we earn from ads?

$400~ CAD (approximately $280~ USD) every two months in our BEST MONTHS.

More accurately, we only started getting those numbers in July after we were advertised on the Magnus Protocol. Before that we got $300~ CAD after 4 months.

Other than that, we finance through Patreon with $400 CAD/month from our amazing Patrons-but you'll notice even that isn't a living.

(Though it very much does cover groceries, which I'm grateful for)

This is why we ultimately have to run fundraisers every so often. I'd run less if I was employed, which I'm trying very hard to be, but in the meantime if people want to see more of Hi Nay this is our only recourse.

That's why we're indie even if we're part of a network. That's why your favorite podcasts are indie even if they're still part of a network. Rusty Quill has done so much for us including connecting us to some amazing podcasters in the space and giving us opportunities we never would have had before, but they don't pay us for making our podcast. They just share the ad revenue and help market us.

And that's why I can't continue Hi Nay on $400-$800 Canadian every month when my rent is $1300 Canadian ($920 US) a month. Especially when I've been out of work for 1+ year.

[gffa]

I have a lot of thoughts about the Watcher move and I get why they did it. I've kind of half-suspected something like this would happen, because I don't think their current business model is growing enough to make it profitable for them to keep the staff they have, not with the kind of videos they put out and they've been clear that they want this to be their livelihood and a genuine production studio. But the big production videos like this just cannot survive on YouTube, unless you're like Mr. Beast or a very few other creators. And the reason big production companies like Mythical or Smosh can survive on YouTube is because they're putting out videos EVERY DAY pretty much, they keep the average costs down. And even Mythical has talked about how their views have plateaued, Rhett and Link have talked repeatedly about how they're constantly trying new things and can't really pursue them if they're not a massive hit because they're beholden to only having resources for things that won't lose them money. It took them twenty years to get to a place where they could finally say, "Fuck it, we're doing what we want, because we're secure enough to take the hit, if it comes to that." Watcher in contrast is making more high level production shows, a lot of research into a single episode (rather than something that can be used for multiple episodes), expensive location shoots, etc. And so I think they looked to Dropout as a business model that might work for them. But the thing is that I'm not sure they have a strong enough roster to pull it off. Puppet History and Ghost Files are both hits, but I'm not sure any shows that aren't centered on Ryan and Shane have ever really taken off? Maybe Worth It or Dish Granted? Meanwhile, Dropout has the whole D20 lineup and Game Changer is a huge hit (also possibly Make Some Noise?)(I'm judging by how many shows I see cross my dash, which may not be the best metric, tbf) but they have a huge cast to work with and their model relies heavily on how much of the D20 stuff they put out in volume. So, I get why Watcher did this, in some ways, I kind of agree that it might have been the only move for them if they wanted to do this long-term. And I think it's important to them that, the whole reason they left Buzzfeed was because they wanted to do their own stuff, their own passion projects, rather than just what Buzzfeed deemed a viral hit. And their YouTube shows do mean being beholden to advertisers and only focusing on what will be as big a hit as possible, which is exactly what they wanted to get away from. I'm just not sure it'll work because they can't put out enough content that enough people would want to pay for. I kinda wish they'd gone the Mythical route instead, where they put up the behind the scenes stuff and special series on their own site and had tiers of membership for people who wanted to access them, while keeping the main shows on YouTube. (But I guess that's basically what they were doing with the Patreon exclusive videos and it must not have been a big enough draw to keep going the way they did.) I think they probably felt like this was the only route forward for them long-term, that it was either this or they would have to dissolve the company, but I'm just not sure I believe that it can work. I love the shows, but I'm not getting a subscription service for a roster of shows where I watch like three of the shows.

[gazemaizeisdead]

worst films of 2024

in early 2024 i was gifted one of those unlimited movie membership passes and i saw, as of my last counting, 102 movies that came out in 2024!

here are the worst five.

honorable mentions and why they avoided making the list:

madame web (one of the funniest movies ever made, does not belong anywhere close to this list)

red one (i thought lucy liu had a couple of funny lines. i like seeing jk simmons even when he’s in dogshit. polar bears are cool)

god’s not dead 5 (got a really great blowjob while this was playing in the background. i like it when kevin sorbo makes silly faces, he's very good at looking aggrieved)

kraven the hunter (bravely sacrificed itself to finally kill off the marvel sony universe)

civil war (the jesse plemons scene, jesse plemons)

onto the meat:

5. speak no evil. this is an american remake of a great danish social horror movie. there are a lot of “social commentary” horror movies that suck shit both as commentaries and horrors but speak no evil is actually about “social” horror, about the horrific feeling of not being able to grasp at that murky line of knowing when another has gone too far and broken boundaries, about when to end a friendship, a conversation, a double date; and how the wicked abuse that ambiguity and our unwillingness to act against it. netflix made a movie in 2015 with this same idea called the invitation with awful execution and i was delighted in 2022 when it was finally done well, which it managed to do by going full struwwelpeter and marrying it with the unhinged darkness of a medieval european fairy tale and a specifically scandinavian flavor of self-deprecation. 

this came out TWO years after the original movie! what possible reason but pure cynicism would you make this? mcavoy is a good actor but so was the man he replaces.

80% of this movie is competent, well-acted and shot but slightly worse than the original; the ending is atrocious, replacing a powerful dark ending with the obligatory hollywood pew-pew we killed the bad guys and everybody lives and we walk off into the sunset. it comes off as a literal satire of this type of americanization and you get the feeling that the movie is mocking you as it gutlessly apes the famous “because you let us” line from the first movie, all power it had neutered completely. it’s so exaggeratedly awful i genuinely wondered if it was parodying this trend and that’s how it was meant to be interpreted, as some bizarre in-joke for the people who’d seen the original, but no, it’s not, it’s just doing the thing. 

a special shout out to the horrible trailer of this movie, which spoils the entire movie even more brazenly and shamelessly than most do nowadays (for a movie where the whole gimmick is the surprise of gradual escalation). the movie itself at least preserves most of the magic of the midpoint reveal scene, which was ruined for a significant portion of the new audience, as this trailer was advertised very heavily.

4. unfrosted. pop tart movie. pop tart film. pop tart experience. jerry seinfeld's directorial debut (and the first movie he's had a substantial footprint on since the bee movie). there's an element of total subject content nihilism that works for "bees" but not "pop tarts and breakfast cereal". the joke is this satirical biopic is not even “pop tarts are silly” it’s “pop tarts are”, and this is indisputable, pop tarts are, but is this funny? can an incomplete logical declaration carry us through 93 minutes? can it make me laugh one time? jerry seinfeld is the richest comedian who has ever lived and is by many accountings the richest actor. he is worth at least nine hundred million dollars. he has no material creative limitations. if he wanted to he could create the most expensive piece of media ever made and he would not need to defer to the whims of another executive or producer, would not need to make a single infinitesimal compromise to anything except objective reality, would never need to have another conversation with anyone working on it who was not expressly and unambiguously at his beck and call. he has had this power for thirty years and he has used it to ask only three questions: (“what if bees became aware of their systemic oppression?; what if i was in a car?”; “what if my breakfast did january 6th?”)

this movie isn’t about the rise of kelloggs and post, it’s about the image of norman rockwell postwar suburbanite americana, a time and aesthetic that has consistently fascinated seinfeld. this interest is object-level only. don draper and walter cronkite and andy warhol and astronauts and silly putty and sea monkeys and small town diners and sod and milkmen and cereal, cereal, cereal, cereal. these nouns appear and interact with each other and are portrayed sillier than they probably actually were and from that we derive laughter.

seinfeld isn’t celebrating this time, he isn’t mocking it (remember that even rockwell who defined this aesthetic had plenty to say critically about the era beyond picket fences and boy scouts) he is saying howabout that. howabout that fifties, that sixties. what a time what a time what a time. it was wild wasn’t it? it’s wild now but wasn’t it wild, back then, back when i was a boy and the world like that, back then. what a time, that was.

there is a bit about chef boyardee having a ravioli mutant baby that i did like a lot; i suspect a lunch sequel may be in the works.

3. reagan. never seen a less critical biopic in my life, and not to get “political”, but there were perhaps things worth criticizing ronald reagan for.

this movie is exactly what you are imagining, with a few caveats. the framing of this movie is as a narrative told by a fictional soviet spy (played by jon voight doing a legendarily bad russian accent; this movie is like oppenheimer for outspoken ultraconservative actors in hollywood, it makes the point of namedropping oppenheimer and having reagan call him a commie, which i think is genuinely meant to be some kind of slight to christopher nolan) who was assigned to follow reagan around his entire life and ended up becoming reagan-pilled in the process. there are so many real people past and present who want to gobble reagan’s cock the idea that this movie still felt the need to invent fictional ones is hilarious, this is one of the most insecure films i’ve ever seen. an inability to properly critique the person being depicted is a famous problem (THE famous problem) for any biopic but this ethos defines this movie, where not once does he just do a bad thing and the movie says or implies that it was actually bad and should not have happened. everything is either not acknowledged or wasn’t a mistake or was well-intentioned (and we HAVE to hyperfocus on that well-intentionality instead of the act itself or its consequences, because to focus on anything else would be to hint that reagan may have done a bad thing at some point and we know that can’t be true). the biopic narcissist’s prayer.

i think of the film nyad, a recent biopic about the first woman to swim unassisted across the straits of florida. it’s a very frustrating movie because nyad (her actual name is nyad, chalk up another win for nominative determinism) is a slightly more complex and controversial woman than it implies (she may have accidentally cheated in an extremely minor way that would officially strip her of her record but that make her accomplishment no less impressive and nobody except the recordbook people would give a shit about, the movie decides to completely ignore this, ignoring the accusation instead of refuting it; she’s pathologically obsessed with victory and can be dismissive of people who are sacrificing a lot to help her, etc). the movie pokes at these ideas: my favorite scene is when nyad sees a television interview with the other woman trying to make the cuba to key west swim before her but has failed, gotten horribly injured by jellyfish, and is sobbing into the camera and swearing to quit; we smash cut to nyad screaming in sociopathic ecstasy at the TV at her primary competitor being gone. i find the real diane nyad to be a legitimately interesting and dare i say inspirational person (she was 64 when she did this!) and i feel that way about almost no one else in sports, but she’s also weird and flawed and the movie is only interesting when it’s balancing that dichotomy instead of suffocating us under platitudes about believing in yourself and the power of friendship and perseverance, which it doesn’t do nearly enough. until hollywood learns this all biopics will suck forever.

the desire to see complex flawed people is not out of some desire to see Great Men taken down a peg; it's because it makes for good stories, and because it’s representative of reality. reagan has no equivalent to that great scene in nyad, will not even pay convincing lip service to the idea of its titular character having a single flaw, either as a politician or a man.

saving this movie from being any higher is a genuinely cool and well-edited montage musical compilation of reagan’s detractors and depiction in the media, which unintentionally comes off as genuinely critical towards him and even beyond that is just fun. also there were two jokes that made me laugh in the way the film wanted me to which is two more than what follows.

2. borderlands. this movie is and will forever be the career low of every single person who worked on it. the original borderlands games are already the nadir of joss whedon copycat humor and this movie’s writing is substantially less competent than that. this movie is like a zoo for every shitty joke you’ve ever seen in a bad action comedy. they’re all here, hiding out in the piss canyons of pandora. this zoo should be shut down. it’s like somebody took guardians of the galaxy and triple-fried it in spoiled gutter oil. (this movie wants to be gotg so bad that you can taste the desperation, the envy. this movie is robin williams in one hour photo staring at the happy family through their window as they sleep. it wants to cut out the mcu’s skin and wear it to prom; this movie begins long after it has begun to rot in the sun.) how can you actually make me think “man, i know kevin hart is funnier than this” without a hint of irony.

eli roth is famous for his brutality and violence and the idea of getting him for your shitty ultra-gorey videogame sellout movie is not misplaced; it’s VERY clear watching this that he was told he would be allowed to make a rated R movie and then they backtracked and changed it after filming was finished (because what would be the point of getting him if that wasn’t the original intention?) and because almost every fight in this has dozens of shots where somebody is about to be hit in a way that would very obviously kill or injure them in a super bloody way and then the camera cuts away immediately before impact. it’s as if they were trying to maximize how unsatisfying a kill could be. between the color scheme, awful effects, and the camera constantly jumping the way it did this movie actually made me dizzy at several points. this movie had two weeks of reshoots with a different director and no reason was given but i really do think it was just to eke out that pg-13, something that unsurprisingly did nothing to help it commercially.

jackblack!claptrap is an atrocity, unquestionably the worst celebrity animated voiceover of all time; i say this as a certified kung fu panda/nacho libre/tenacious d liker, i’m unbiased (or biased in the wrong direction) and uniquely qualified to make this assessment. i don't want to hear about seagull awkwafina and beyonce lion queen, it's not the same, nothing reaches this, nothing ever will.

it wouldn’t surprise me if a worse video game movie than this gets made someday, but i don’t think one will be. unlike the slate of most terrible live action video game movies which are trying and failing to be serious action movies (and thus become unintentionally funny) borderlands is trying to be funny and failing, and nothing rots the way terrible comedy does. this movie is agony.

1. argylle. wikipedia says this movie is two hours and nineteen minutes long but this is a typo; this movie is eight hours and forty-six minutes. the cgi cat in this movie looks worse and is less funny than the entirety of garfield a tail [sic] of two kitties, a movie i’d rather watch twice in a row before having to look at a poster of argylle again.

i love the first kingsman movie. i don’t know what happened here. if borderlands is a zoo for bad jokes this is comedy’s death row. this movie has eight plot twists and the only ones that affected me in any way were the two that tricked me into thinking the movie was about to end, which is the cruelest prank that’s ever been played in the history of cinema.

thelma was a mission impossible spoof from this year with literally 1/66th the budget of argylle about a 93 year old woman trying to recover money from a phone scammer and it despite taking this premise 100% seriously somehow had more engaging action sequences than any moment in argylle and is objectively a better spy movie in every way. the will smith pigeon movie is a better spy movie than argylle. when i was seven i spent two hours inside a gamestop nervously standing around the nintendo section before gaining the courage to shoplift a used copy of dance dance revolution mario mix and then ran for a half a mile before discovering that they didn’t put discs in their display copies and that was a better spy movie than argylle.

whenever people see bryan cranston on the street they shouldn’t say “oh my god it’s the breaking bad man” they should say argylle argylle argylle and throw salt over their shoulders and run far far away.

i’m really, really sympathetic to dumb fun movies. that’s the defense of both argylle fans. i love dumb fun movies. my favorite movie so far this year is the fucking porky pig movie. this isn’t a dumb fun movie, it’s dogshit. its central inspirations are “spy kids 3: game over”, “jimmy neutron: jet fusion”, and an unplayable, haunted VHS copy of the manchurian candidate, all of which are better spy movies than argylle.

[scotianostra]

The Pirate station, Radio Scotland began broadcasting in the dying embers of Hogmanay, 1965.

Radio Scotland was a Scottish pirate radio station which broadcast at various points off the Scottish coast between 1965 and 1967, with a mix of pop music and programmes of Scottish interest. It was conceived of and run by publicity and advertising executive Tommy Shields onboard a former Irish lightship, built on the Clyde, named The Comet. Radio Scotland's first broadcast was at 11:50pm on Hogmanay, 31st December 1965, on 1241 kilohertz, 242 metres.

After refitting for her new role in the Channel Islands she had been towed to a position four miles off Dunbar, in the Firth of Forth. Because of delays during the journey north, the ship didn't arrive at the anchorage until early on 30th December, giving the engineers only a few hours to set up the equipment. It was a frantic race against time but the station just made it on air before midnight, albeit at reduced power and with no opportunity to run tests. The first voice on the new station belonged to DJ Paul Young a former presenter of Scottish Television's Roundup programme who welcomed the listeners. He introduced the managing director Tommy Shields, who went on to detail their plans. Radio Scotland was on the air and open for business. The station also broadcast from water near Troon and Northern Ireland over its one-and-a-half years.

While navigating and planting the boat, crew had to be careful to avoid territorial waters, primarily due to the strict laws imposed on the pirate stations by the government of the day. Featuring everything from “modern” rock’n’roll to ceilidh favourites, the station soon became a sensation across Scotland as well as Ireland and northern England, where the signal was also picked up.

With its audience of one million listeners a week in its prime, Radio Scotland was very close to realising Shield’s dream of becoming a successful independent Scottish station.

Joining English stations such as Radio Caroline, Radio Scotland was the only pirate radio station to be formed north of the Border, and soon took its place amongst the big six pirate stations.

People could join the membership of the station and become Radio Scotland “Clan Members”. As a reward, the Clan had their own show every Saturday where they could send in requests, which, alongside Jack McLaughlin’s ceilidh slot, was one of the most popular programmes broadcast.

The station even had its own fanzine called “242” – named after its frequency. The 242 magazine featured interviews with the biggest stars of the day, including The Beatles, the Rolling Stones and Tina Turner, but station managers never quite tempted any of the stars on board the infamous boat.

The pirate station’s theme song was a jaunty wee number sung by folk band The Carrick Folk Four. Finishing off the upbeat ditty were the lines: “Oh Radio Scotland’s playing just for you/So beat the ban, and join the Clan, on station 242.”

Although they received many a plaudit, Radio Scotland was plagued with troubles from the very beginning. A poor signal and periods off-air led to a steep decline in advertising revenue and a frustrated fanbase, while fires on board the vessel and the hazardous North Sea conditions did little to help ease its problems.

In a piece in the Edinburgh Weekly just days after the station was laid to rest, Tony Mark wrote: “The death penalty in this country is supposed to have been abolished, yet here we are mourning the execution of what was surely the sound sensation of both 66’ and 67’ as far as Scotland is concerned.”

Although the station had a short life, as is often the case with such ventures, and was taken off the air in the 60s, Radio Scotland inspired a tribute station, which began broadcasting in the mid 70s.

Radio Scotland International, an independently run pirate station broadcasting to Europe from its base in Holland, started in 1975 and has been going ever since.

For around 20 months his modest little boat made huge waves and pulled Scotland into the "swinging sixties".

The first pic is Tommy Shields unveiling his pirate ship , the last is the stations first DJ Paul Young then, and as "Shug" in the BBC's Still Game.

[ldysmfrst]

Was it Fate?

This is a reader request by @bethanysnow, who holds membership to my Patreon. Her request is as follows:

"I have a request~ what about San from Ateez getting paired up on a variety show with a designer that is getting popular in South Korea?? For plus size fashion? And I can totally see him just falling head over heels for her~ ^-^"

This is my first ever Reader Request, and I am more than happy to fulfill it as Bethany has been my main support for my story, American Mate!

Pairing: Idol!San x Plus-sized FemReader

Status: Reader Request, One-shot

Word Count: 11,194

Genre: Variety Show Fluff

Warnings: None

Thank you to @cyaspeedy and @animatedglittergraphics-n-more for this story's artwork and banners.

As a plus-sized woman, you intimately understood the challenges of finding stylish and comfortable clothing. The sleek jumpsuits, the simple evening gowns, and the flowy summer dresses that were supposedly one-size-fits-all never quite fit the bill for you. It was this personal struggle that sparked your realization that clothes were an art form, and you were ready to create your masterpiece.

Your decision to launch a clothing line exclusively for plus-sized women was a game-changer. It was a mission that resonated with many, and it took numerous visits with investors and hours of hand sewing before your line took off. The unexpected support from the long-standing House of Schiaparelli propelled your mission to new heights. While the House of Schiaparelli offers women the essence of bold style and timeless allure, your mission was clear–“Everybody deserves clothes they feel good in.”

Your brand's success was a whirlwind. In just 11 months, 17 days, and 18 styles later, you had a summer line ready to go. Your diligence and unique aesthetic caught the attention of some of the nation's top photographers and production directors. Once you pitched the idea to the producing director, it only took a few days to get the ball rolling. 

Like most advertisements, you were blessed to work with some of the top Idols. However, unlike most brands that stuck with just one Idol or one Idol group, you wanted some from different groups because it supported your ideals of inclusion. Your concept was a couple having a date at a cat cafe; your love of furry pets is never-ending, which is reflected not only in your design but also in the ads.

While you had been a fan of K-pop music for many years, you found it easy to work with the different Idols. BamBam from GOT7 ended up adopting a cat from the cafe. Lisa from BlackPink surprised many, but her love for cats and the group's support for the LGBTQ+ community perfectly fit your brand's mission to include everyone. However, it was shocking that your advertisement also included Lee Know of Stray Kids and Yoongi from BTS. 

Soon, your commercial played on screens nationwide, from Doota Mall to Starfield COEX Mall and even Lotte Department Store. 

“Alright, can we please stick together this time?” Hongjoong requests the other members. “We really don’t want to leave Wooyoung at the mall again.”

“Hey! That was a one-time thing, captain!” whines Wooyoung, making the others laugh. 

Shopping with the other members was always easier for San. Despite his onstage presence, he was, is, and will always be an introvert. San has often seen videos of the group with remarks about Ateez being out and about and San looking more like their manager rather than another member. 

This fact makes San proud because he is all about being comfortable and looking good. Yeah, he wears clothes onstage to showcase himself for Atiny, and he loves it. In his everyday life, though, he likes to be comfortable in baggy hoodies and pants, loose shirts, and things that make him feel good but not showy.

Mosing around the mall with the other members, having already bought what he came for, San sees a new ad with Lee Know. Having worked with Stray Kids during Kingdom: Legendary War, he became close with Minho and Felix. Now that he thinks about it, Minho mentioned a new job that he thought San would be perfect for, but he was out of the country at Coachella and couldn’t join. 

Stopping to watch the ad as it replays, the most angelic voice comes over, explaining this was the laugh of a new line called “Byeol” by Y/n, which is exclusively making a one-size-fits-all for plus-sized women. The clothing is eye-catching and flattering. The concept of the ad is charming, and at the end of the ad is you. 

Your hair and makeup are done simply while you are wearing a lovely pant jumper that showcases the curves of your hips, the thickness of your thighs, and the beauty of your bare shoulders. When you say the closing statement, “Byeol, a plus-sized clothing line to make any woman a star because everyone deserves clothes they feel good in,” a smile seals the deal for San.

The visual component of the ad showcasing his friend and a lovely plus-sized woman in a summer dress at a Cat Cafe is long forgotten. The only thing of importance is you, the one who has stolen his breath and heart.

What San also forgets is the rest of his group. It doesn’t take long before Wooyoung realizes the dance master is missing, “Where did San go?”

“Dude, its either you or him that always gets sidetracked by shiny things. Hwa, can you find him please?” Hongjoong asks.

“Fine, but I am taking Woo with me. I swear he has a built-in San finder.” Grabbing the member mentioned, the two go off to find San, “Meet you back at the van!”

Turning a few corners, the two find San staring at the ad as it replays. Wooyoung bumps into San, “Hey San, what's up why did you stop?”

Breaking the stupor he had fallen into, San looks at the two members with a huge blushing smile, “Oh sorry, I just… well, look.” He points to the ad, drawing the attention of his best friend/soulmate and Seonghwa. Once you appear on the screen, it clicks. Both of them snap their attention back to San to watch his face light up and blush color his cheeks. 

“Oh, I see what stopped you. The pretty designer has caught our Sannie’s attention, I see,” remarks Seonghwa teasingly. Wiggling his eyebrows at the younger member, he said, “Y/n, I haven’t heard of that name before.”

“She is new. This is her first line of clothes called ‘Byeol,’” San says while watching you on the ad, wanting to memorize everything he can. 

“She named her line the same name as your cat? Do you think she is an Atiny?” Wooyoung asks. 

“I don't know, but I wanna shoot myself for not pushing for that ad campaign that Minho tried to get me on. I think it was this one. I could have met her, spoken to her even.” San laments. 

“Maybe Minho has a way to contact her, ya know? We are able to get in touch with our brands. I am sure he has a way.” Hwa, always the mother, says with hope.

“That’s right! I have to call him!” San lights up.

“But first let’s get out of here before people start wondering why three guys are staring at women’s clothes and word gets out that we are pervy, okay?” Hwa pushes the other playfully.

Several days have passed, and San is no closer to finding you than he was standing in the mall. Calling Minho had been a bust because, unlike most brands, your brand didn’t want to have long-term ambassadors. Minho mentioned that you seemed to live simply and cared for everyone there like they were your family. Paying for everything, and even holding a party at the end for everyone where you gave everyone a red envelope. 

While he loved hearing how generous and caring you were, he did not love Minho’s affectionate tone whenever he talked about you. Was he interested in you, too, or was it just because of the great experience? Oh no, what if you had someone already?  What if you didn’t want an Idol? What if you wanted someone like Lisa? 

While it drove his bandmates up the wall, San pretty much had all of your advertisements running on replay, but now he was driving himself up the wall without being able to find a way to contact you. You had no social media accounts, your brand’s website was simplistic, and the contact number was for a messaging service. At this point, if it wasn’t for Minho seeing you, one might think you were AI.

Ring Ring

“Hello?” 

“Hey Sannie, it’s Felix.”

“Oh hey, Lix. I am not really in the mood to chat right now.”

“Yeah, I know. Minho and Woo mentioned you have been really down lately because you cannot find Y/n, right?”

“Seriously, they are telling other people?”

“We all care about you, Sannie. Especially Woo, and you should know that. But I think I may have good news for you. Woo said something about you guys taking a small break to get ready for your world tour right?”

“Yeah. Captain thought it would be a good idea. Be fresh and ready for Atiny in America. But what does that have to do with anything?”

“Would you be interested in doing something solo for half of that time? Say a variety show with me and Y/n?”

“No way! How? When?”

“The producers just booked me yesterday, and I happened to run into Y/n and found out she was going to join it as the ‘new up and comer.’ Something about trying to show the world that there are things worse in life than being chubby.”

“That is great! But Lix, how am I going to get on?”

“It turns out S. Coups from Seventeen was supposed to join, but his knee hasn’t healed enough, and now they are short an Idol. So, I may have dropped your name. They should be reaching out soon, and filming starts at the end of next week. Just a heads up.”

“LIXXIE! No way! I have to pack, I have to get a hold of my manager, I have to… I have to go!”

“Bye Sannie see you next week I guess.”

~One-on-one Interview with Y/n~

“Okay, sit there and face the camera. It will be a simple interview. You got this,” the MC, who you recently learned is Sung Hanbin from the new K-pop group ZeroBaseOne. 

Nodding, you sit down, the production team milling around while fixing things like hair, makeup, wardrobe, and who knows what else. “Sorry, this is my first time doing anything even close to this.”

“Not to worry. You were requested by almost everyone here because of your ad campaign and the high marks you got for your debut line. This is my first time hosting a variety show, so we can both have our first together. Let’s start. Fighting”

The lights around the set dim, leaving you and Hanbin in bright stage lights. 

“Hello and welcome to YouPlusMe, the newest variety show where up-and-comers take on challenges with some of the industry's most famous idols. Let us meet one of the “newbies.” She has taken the fashion world by storm with her bubbly personality, strong values, and unwavering determination. It’s time to be the powerhouse behind The house of Y/l/n and the mastermind of “Byeol”, Miss Y/l/n Y/N.”

“Hello! Everyone! I am excited and nervous to be here. I am Y/n. Thank you for all your upcoming support in my first variety show adventure.”

“Miss Y/n, it’s been only a week since your launch and you are already the talk of the town. What makes Byoel so interesting?”

“I think my mission statement and line challenges the conservative fashion views not only here but around the world. Being the talk of the town, as you put it, has brought both positive and negative conversations. I believe that you can be healthy and beautiful without being skinny and petite.”

“What a powerful statement. You are clearly a model for your work and have already stolen the hearts of many. You worked with some very powerful idols for your ad and I have a letter from one of the Idols you worked with, ‘Y/n-ah, Your beauty comes not only from your smile but from your heart as well. I cannot wait for the world to see the diamond that you truly are. I enjoyed working with you and cannot wait to see where you go. Always your supporter, Min Yoongi.’”

A blush creeps up your neck. “Oh my! Mr. Min was a pleasure to work with. Actually, all of the idols who worked on the campaign were professional and seemed to support my ideals.”

“Did you have a favorite idol?”

“Lee Know was the easiest to work with, which I thought was odd. As a card-carrying Stay, he really was down to earth, and once he warmed up, it was nice to see that he wasn’t always the stone-cold Lee Know persona that he is known for.”

“Oh you are a Stay? Did you know that Felix will be joining us?”

“Yes, I did, actually. We met by accident. I was coming and he was going.”

“The show will consist of three teams of two and compete in a series of games. One up and comer matched with one Idol for each team. Wonder if you will be teamed up with one of your Favorite Group Idols.”

“As much as I love Felix-ssi, I don’t know if we would make a good team.”

~One-on-one Interview with Felix~

“She said what? And admitted she is a Stay! Awh… Y/n you break my heart. I guess being an Idol doesn’t save you from that.”

“If you are not on her team, maybe you can use her Stay heart to fluster her into making mistakes.”

“Yeah, no. Lee Know said she gets very focused and didn’t even flutter when she met him. I mean the short meeting we had in the hall, all she did was say hello, introduce herself, and wish me luck in the show. I didn’t even realize she was a Stay.”

“It seems like Y/n is going to be a wild card.”

~One-on-one Interview with San~

“I cannot wait to meet the rest of the contestants for the show.”

“So, San, you were a last moment addition. What made you decide to join on such short notice?”

“Oh, easy, Y/n-shi. I love her clothing line, and once Felix-ah told me she was on this, I knew I had to be here too.”

“Oooo, so have you had a chance to meet Y/n yet?”

“No, I haven’t met anyone else. But hey, I get to work with Felix-ah again after Kingdom and I get to meet Y/n-shi. I say that I am already going to have a good time!”

“I think it’s going to be an interesting show to say the least. We have Felix from Stray Kids, the soloist Eunbi, and San from Ateez for our Idols. For our up and comers we have my ZeroBaseOne bandmate Kim Gyuvin, Ko Chanbin from Namoo Actors, and Y/n CEO of The house of Y/l/n. The teams have been picked by our viewers, so it’s time for them to meet for the first time.”

~Yellow Team Interview~

“Felix-hyung and Chanbin-ah, you were the first team to be chosen by the fans with a whopping 10.8 billion votes. How does that make you feel?” asked MC Hanbin. 

“Shocking, really!” Felix says while blushing.

“I wasn’t sure I was going to be picked at all but I guess there are more BL fans out there than I thought. Thank you, everyone for your support,” Chanbin bows humbly to the camera.

“Between Stays and Yaoi fandoms, I am pretty sure we will become a strong team with their love and support guiding us, right Chanbin-ah?” 

“That’s right Felix-hyung. We will fight for you!”

~Red Team Interview~

“Waaahh, talk about having the advantage. Both of you debuted with K-pop groups because you were able to survive the shows which created them,” comments MC Hanbin.

“Hanbin-ah, you survived with me too! You tell me if this is an advantage or not,” Gyuvin laughs as he points out his leader is the MC.

“Oh that’s right, you both are part of ZeroBaseOne! You are really new to the music industry Gyuvin-ah. Don’t worry. We survived one show, we can survive another,” Eunbi encourages.

It was almost time to meet your Idol partner. So many of the staff seemed to be giddy about your meeting. You could hear their whispers and giggles, but there were a few sneers and looks of hate. Who were you paired with that would cause this kind of reaction?

“Hey, Y/n-shi, are you ready to go? Oh, is that another one of your pieces?” your assigned manager asks. Today, you decided to wear one of the more classic items in your collection. Your shirt is a crop top that feels like you are wearing a cloud on your sleeves. It’s paired with a black pencil-like skirt with a white scallop edge that starts at your ankle and curves around the front to connect to the opposite hip.

“Yes, it’s from the professional line set to come out in early fall. I thought it would be good for the first meeting. Do you think it’s too much?” you question now, wondering if you are toeing the line of the rules and regulations. 

“No, it’s gorgeous. You said it would be available in the fall. I am going to have to watch out for it. I think it would be lovely for my sister,” she praises.

“Oh, before the end of the filming, let me get your number, and I will send you one directly. Thank you for taking care of me!”

“Really? You are so caring, Y/n-shi. Thank you. Now, let’s go before we get behind.”

You walk onto the set and take your seat. Noticing you were the last one, you bow with apologies for your delay, and the interview starts.

Meanwhile, San was the first to arrive on set, his nerves going everywhere. He had learned from Felix that there was now a 50/50 chance that he would be teamed up with you. He wore a simple black suit jacket with black dress slacks and shoes. No one could ever go wrong with black, right?

Next came MC Hanbin, taking his seat with a smile and simple greeting, “Hello San-hyung. Did you know that Gyuvin-ah was on the show too? You met recently right?”

“Oh, he's here too? I didn’t know. Waaa, he would be fun to team up with, but hopefully, he could concentrate. He was so shocked that I was Soft Tofu,” chuckled San.

“He wouldn’t stop talking about it the whole next week. For the sake of my members, I hope you two are not teamed up because he will never stop!”

“Don’t you know who everyone is teamed up with?” San questions.

Hanbin only smiles and nods his head, then follows it with mimicking, zipping his mouth shut.

It takes a few minutes before a slight commotion comes from the side, indicating that the other teammate has arrived. Taking an anxious breath, San looks to see who is coming, only to lose it once you walk around the corner and sit next to him. 

“Y/n-shi, glad you made it safely. Any problems?” Hanbin asks, his eyes shifting between you and San. 

“Oh no problems. Just wanted to make sure my outfit was approved by PD-nim.”

“You're perfect,” San finally says, his eyes never leaving you.

~Purple Team Interview~

“I think Fate might be playing a hand in matching this team up,” MC Hanbin says, which only confuses you.

“Why do you say that? I am sorry but I really don’t know anyone here but Felix-ssi,” you ask.

“I think it's because of what I said in my one-on-one interview. I mentioned that I knew of your work and joined because of you and Felix-ah.” San says with a slight blush dusting his cheeks.

“Oh, well, you know who I am. Can I know who you are?” you ask, wide-eyed and slightly embarrassed to ask the “famous Idol.”

“Sorry! Of course,” San stands and bows. “I am Choi San, a main dancer of Ateez. It is my honor to meet you, Y/n-shi.”

“Oh, sit down, sit down. I am the new one here, and I should bow to you. I have heard of Ateez, but I am unfamiliar with your work. Sorry.”

“Did you know that Y/n-shi is a card-carrying Stay? She has even gotten to work with Lee Know and met Felix,  two out of eight members. Lucky girl. How does it feel not to be recognized, San-hyung?” MC Hanbin asks with a gleam in his eye.

Looking Hanbin dead in the eye, San says, “Y/n-shi may have met and worked with others before me, and that is fine. What matters now is that she is mine.” San glances at you, noticing your tentative smile; he adds, “Go, team!”

~YouPlusMe: Challenge 1 Hunter Hunter~

“Welcome back to YouPlusMe. Today, all the teams are meeting us here at Buggy World in Chuncheon, Gangwon, to play ‘Hunter, Hunter.’ Our teams will not only hunt down other teams and their additional markers but also protect their own.” MC Hanbin walks around showing groups of balloons tied to various trees and ends with the teams wearing protective gear and holding Nerf-like airguns. 

Team Purple is San and Y/n, Team Red is Eunbi and Gyunvin, and Team Yellow is Felix and Chanbin.

Both you and San are dressed in similar outfits. He looks like G.I. Joe but in dark purple. You discovered the team colors before you left yesterday and made one of your workout creations meet the requirements. You are wearing black leggings with a few neon purple mesh cut-outs and pockets. Your top, however, was a mix of dark, light, neon, and sparkling purple straps built over a black sports bra and connected with the leggings.

The other teams were also dressed to represent their team colors. You noticed yours was the brightest, but you hadn’t realized that this was a paintball mission or that you would also be a target. Your manager had tried to talk you out of wearing it, but you made it clear that your entire point of joining this show was to showcase your designs and their functionality for the plus-sized fans. 

“Are the teams ready?” Mc Hanbin asks, followed by hoots and hollers from the different teams. “Good. Now go to your home bases, and when the horn sounds, it's time to play– Hunter, Hunter.”

Making your way to Team Purple’s home base, you take the chance to look around and notice that you can see Team Yellow’s base from here. “Hey, San-ssi. Yellow is right on the other side of the tree line.”

“Good eye! I think Red is on the other side of them. I have been to this park before, and we are on the edge, which can give us an edge. Oh, good. Our base is going to be relatively hidden from anyone trying to come in from below or from the right. We literally can only be attacked from the top.”

“That’s great. Which means we can focus on offense. Get Yellow out of the picture, and then maybe wait for Red to come find us?” you ask San. You looked him up last night and noticed that he is somewhat athletic. He is definitely the muscle-bound one of his group and has done well on other variety shows before. 

Horn blares

“I am down for that. Let's go,” San's smile drops, and you notice it's game time. 

It isn’t long before you come up on your first set of balloons, but you pass them by in an attempt to scout the Yellow base before letting them know you are here. However, that doesn’t seem to be San’s plan, as he starts shooting immediately. You turn sharply uphill to find the higher ground and watch as he plows through the balloon groupings.

Movement to the side catches your attention as you see Chanbin trying to sneak up on San. Quickly, you move and take a single shot to his back, the lights of his vest going off, indicating to him that he has been hit. Before he can turn around to see who hit him, you have already dropped back and are taking out the balloons he failed to protect. 

Once the field is clear of balloons, you move to find San again to regroup, popping the remaining balloons along the way. It isn’t long before you find him and Felix battling it out, hiding behind bushes. This means the Red hasn’t made it here yet and is either on defense only or has gone after your base. This needs to end quickly. 

Considering the terrain and their position compared to yours, you don’t have many options without being seen immediately. You could take the chance and believe that San would find a way to win against Felix so that you could go back and ensure your base was secure, but you also didn’t want to leave him to fend for himself. You made the quick decision to just meet up with San. 

Right before you reach him, something to San’s left catches his attention, and you see Felix step out to take his shot. Without thinking, you leap forward, knocking San to the ground and shielding him. All while shooting at Felix, nailing him in the chest and leg. While Felix’s gear lights up, indicating that he is out, a voice rings through the area, “Team Yellow has been hunted. Team Purple and Team Red, the hunt is still on.”

Looking down, you see San looking at you wide-eyed and blushing. You smile brightly at him as you stand up, brushing yourself off, and say, “Sorry, but you were in my way. Now we have two choices: check Homebase or go after Red. Which do you want to do?”

Shaking his head, he also gets up off the ground. His mind was reeling, not from hitting his head or anything, just from you protecting him and laying on top of him. Trying to think of what to do, he can only say, “Offensive, right?”

“Sure thing. Let's go this way. You kept looking this way, so it might be something,” you say as you crouch down and start to walk… no prowl ahead. San happily follows behind you, watching your back in more ways than one.

Taking out the Red team was simple as they stayed by their base and didn’t hide themselves well. Everyone returned to the lobby after having a once-over by the team to make sure no one was injured and gave a few touch-ups for the cameras. Each team sat together on smaller couches, and MC Hanbin was in his own chair.

“Wow, talk about total domination. Team Purple, you took out both teams and didn’t lose a single balloon. The MVP certainly goes to none other than Y/n-ssi. You not only took out three competitors but over 60% of the balloons. How do you feel?” MC Hanbin asks. The rest clap and San pats you on the shoulder.

“I am honored, really. I think there is a stigma that shooting is a man’s game and that because I am plus-sized, I cannot be sneaky,” you respond, a little timid from all the clapping.

“I don’t know how she did it. She was like a ghost or invisible, and I mean, it’s not like she is hard to miss!” Chanbin says, still irritated to be the first one out in the game. 

At his comment, San looks at him with fire in his eyes. How dare he imply anything negative about you? Felix tugs on Changbin’s shirt and glances at the now-present demon-like San. Trying to backpedal, he says, “I mean, with how brightly she is dressed, I figured she would shine and glint in the sunlight. Come on, neon and sparkles?”

“I guess this just shows us that you cannot underestimate her or her abilities, does it?” San sneers. 

Laughing to ease the tension, MC Hanbin says, “Looks like the competition is on fire! Well, it’s time to rest up because tomorrow you will take on ‘Kitchen Crimes.’ Team Purple, you have an advantage.”

~YouPlusMe: Challenge 2 Kitchen Crimes~

“It’s Day 2! It's time for our next challenge, Kitchen Crimes, based on the American reality show Crime Scene Kitchen and hosted by Joel McHale. Our three teams will have two minutes to search a kitchen where something has been made. Once their investigation time is over, they will have one hour to recreate what they thought was made. Afterward, they will present their dishes to our guest chef,” MC Hanbin informs the audience and viewers.

“Team Purple, you won the advantage for this round. You get to steal thirty seconds from a team’s investigation time and add it to your own. Which team do you pick?” 

“Yellow,” San calls out. His eyes pinned Chanbin in his place. You glance up at San with shock because he didn’t even consult you. 

“Y/n-shi, are you in agreement with your partner?” asks MC Hanbin.

“Umm, yeah. He is the idol and has played these games before,” you smile gently, not wanting to cause a scene. “Sorry, team Yellow.”

“It’s okay, Y/n-shi. We know Sannie is just playing the game. No harm done, right Chanbin-ah?” Felix smiles, trying to play everything off as part of the game. He knows it isn’t, and he is pretty sure his partner knows he put a target on their back with his offhand comment. Felix just hopes that there are no other chances for San to strike out at him and his partner. 

“Eunbi-shi and Gyuvin-ah, how do you feel about the challenge?” asks MC Hanbin, smirking at his ZB1 bandmate.

“Hanbinnie, you know I don’t cook but the world knows that Felix-hyung can make killer brownies. So I am very happy that San-hyung took away some of their time and I just hope that it isn’t a desert dish we have to cook,” Gyuvin says with a whine. 

“I am with my partner on this one. I cannot cook to save my soul. Trust me when I was with IZ*ONE, the members were constantly saving me whenever we had to make something. We pretty much are gonna lose this one,” laughs Eunbi.

“Well, there you have it. Team Purple stole 30 seconds from Team Yellow, and they have 2 minutes and 30 seconds. Team Red follows with 2 minutes, and last is Team Yellow with 90 seconds,” recaps MC Hanbin.

It was show time again, and while you knew cooking was involved, you wanted to showcase your line still. You decided to wear something from your comfort line, trying to show that the plus-size woman can be fashionable but comfortable without looking like a lump on a log. 

The shirt was a tank top made from breathable neon purple material with a built-in bra that had almost as much support as yesterday's sports bra but a bit more silky feeling. The pants resembled parachute pants, with white and neon purple artistically placed spray paint marks. Topping it off was a black trainer and a high-waisted, jeogori-inspired jacket that matched the pants. 

San asked you what you would wear last night at the end of filming. Today, he arrived dressed to match your style, wearing black parachute pants, a deep purple tank top, and a leather jacket. He also wore black trainers but playfully had his hairdresser find a matching neon purple to add as a streak in his hair. 

As before, each team continued to wear matching-colored outfits. However, none seemed to stand out as you were with San. It made your heart soar with the hope that the viewers liked what they saw. But right now, it was not time to concentrate on that; it was time to investigate.

It seems like seconds have passed, not anywhere near your extended time. You and San figured it was a cake with strawberries and a whipped cream topping. 

“What do you think it is?” San asked.

“I have an idea. We both agreed there were strawberries, cream, and really fine flour in it. So maybe we just make a very fluffy cake with strawberry filling and a whipped cream topping?” you responded, chewing on your lip as you reviewed your notes.

“Ah, yeah. That sounds good,” San agreed, focusing on your now red, puffy lips instead of the paper you showed him.

“Do you know how to make any of it? San-ssi? San!” you attempted to get his attention. Once his eyes snapped to meet you, you asked again, “You zoned out on me. Do you know how to make any of it?”

“Only if it comes in a box and Wooyoungie is with me. Even then, we end up ordering from the bakery,” San says shyly. Not only is he embarrassed that you caught him staring, but you also just learn he can’t cook for the life of him. 

“Well, I have tried a few times with a recipe, and I know how boxcakes are made. My mom used to make them with me every weekend, but the filling… I haven’t a clue.”

“That is better than nothing. Let me help get the ingredients,” San says, heading to the pantry. “Wait, what am I grabbing?”

“As you all saw, the investigations went smoothly, and the cooking was a mess. Team Yellow sounded very certain that the dish was Strawberry Shortcake, Team Purple thought it was Strawberry Cake, and Team Red followed their gut with a Strawberry Crepes Cake.”

Now it is time to introduce our Guest Chef,” MC Hanbin looks to the side of the stage. “After 50 years of cooking experience, losing his sense of smell due, and appearing on ‘Chef & My Fridge,’ our guest judge is none other than Chef Yeon Bok Lee!”

“Hello, everyone. It is an honor to be here. I am Chef Yeon Bok Lee, and as a Chef, it is my job to protect the kitchen, but today, it's my job to judge your cooking,” the Chef says with a smile and bowing slightly. 

“Welcome, Chef! It’s our honor to have you. You were the one to make the secret item in the kitchen, right?” MC Hanbin prompts, to which the Chef nods.

“I wanted to make something that always brought a smile to the faces of my guests. It is simple in nature, sweet but not too sweet, and a perfect dish to top off a summer picnic.” The Chef gestures to the table before him, where the lights all focus as a covered dish rises, “Today I made strawberry shortcake for you!”

Mixtures of yeses, noes, and other exclamations at things not being fair come from the competitors. “Oh my, that was a mix of reactions,” Chef muses.

“It sure was, first up we will have Team Red. Please come and present your dish to the Chef,” requests MC Hanbin.

Taking their dish up to the judging table, Eunbi and Gyuvin’s Strawberry Crepe Cake starts to look like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Eunbi smiles gently, trying to use her cuteness as a distraction. She says, “Hello, Chef. It is an honor to be cooking for someone as esteemed as you are. We thought with the fine flour and the strawberries, you had created a Crepe cake with strawberry and whipped cream topping.”

“Thank you,” the Chef replies, laughing at the team's appearance. Both competitors are flour-covered, making them more Team White than Red. Your crepe cake has structural problems; half has now slid onto the floor. Shall we taste what we can before the rest follows?”

Gyuvin cuts slices of the remaining crepes and adds whatever strawberries and whipped cream he can find before serving a slice to the Chef and his bandmate MC. Giving them both a cringing smile, he says, “We used fine flour, eggs, cream, sugar, and yeah… it should be good. Umm… Enjoy.”

Both MC Hanbin and Chef cut pieces and inspect the creation before eating. Immediately, coughing and choking start. While the Chef spits out his piece, being a good bandmate, Hanbin swallows his and forces a smile, commenting, “Well, at least it isn’t crunchy or burnt this time.”

“Ah, Team Red, I think you may have mistaken salt for granulated sugar for the whipped cream and strawberry sauce. I will say that your crepes are well made, though, with a good consistency and not overly cooked,” the Chef says before he downs half a glass of water. 

“Sorry, Chef. We ran out of time to taste everything,” Eunbi says as she backs away, embarrassed. Gyuvin just avoids eye contact with either man, taking the disaster of a dish back to their kitchen.

“Next up we have Team Purple. Please bring your dish to the judging stand,” directs MC Hanbin.

You take the cake and walk carefully to the stand, hoping to keep it from dropping it like the other team. Meanwhile, San hovers around you, whispering when it's time to step and encouraging you with small praises of how well you are doing by walking gracefully. You are trying not to turn beet red the whole time because praises have always done something to you, and it's not what you want the world to see. 

After successfully placing the dish down, San and you bow to the Chef. With a large but sweet smile, you say, “Chef Yeon Bok Lee, it is a pleasure to see you again.”

“You know each other?” San askes, ignoring the side eye from MC Hanbin.

“Miss Y/n, it is you. It has been some time now, hasn’t it? How is your family? Does your father still run the little noodle stand back home?” inquires the Chef with a genuine smile. 

“Yes, Chef. It has been a long time and my dad still runs the stand but now he has my brother joining him. Logan-ah is already 13 now and has shown great interest in cooking and baking,” you reply.

“Cooking and baking, you say? I may have to visit your father and brother to see this myself. Maybe he could come and take lessons from me one day. But now, let's see if you have a talent for baking. Eh?” The chef smiles, looking at the well-presented cake.

“Well, Chef, we have presented you with a Vanilla sponge cake with macerated strawberry filling and a whipped cream frosting topped with candied whole strawberries,” San proudly announces.

After inspecting the cake, MC Hanbin says, “Well, it survived the trip here. Please serve us a bite to try out and see if it tastes as good as it looks, hyung.” This is followed by San cutting each piece and serving it to them, including a candied strawberry. 

Following the same procedure of cutting, inspecting, and eating as before, you and San hold your breath. Your hand grips San’s wrist as you await their reaction. San, however, has been watching you since you touched him. He brings his other hand, gently rubs your upper arm, and whispers, “It’s okay. We got this. You did amazing.”

You smile at his words, remembering having saved the poor idol from burning off his fingerprints when he tried to dip the strawberries in the hot sugar to coat them without using the dipping fork.

“Waaaahhh! Such a light a fluffy sponge on the cake. I really wish you had made a shortcake and not a victoria’s sponge cake. A minor change to your egg, sugar, and water ratio and you would have made a delightful version of my strawberry shortcake,” the Chef comments with a slight frown.

“Those strawberries done in two ways is amazing given the limited time you had. I suppose as a CEO and fashion designer, you understand time management well,” compliments MC Hanbin.

“Well, that is true, but I also have someone who was a good boy at following directions in the kitchen,” you say, smiling at San, who only dusts his cheeks a deep rose and stutters his breath. 

Stepping forward, you take your cake and retreat to your kitchen, with San in two, still reeling from you calling him a good boy. Looking at the closest camera, San says, “See, Captain and Seonghwa-hyung, I can be good! Y/n-shi said so!”

“Last up, will Team Yellow present their dish to the Chef and me?” asks MC Hanbin.

Team Yellow shines like the sun because they know they got the right cake. Not only that, but they were the only ones, which means they automatically won. Placing down the cake on the stand, both smiling so widely that their eyes turned into crescents. 

Felix wastes no time introducing himself: “Hello, Chef Yeon Bok Lee. Most know me as Felix, but my name is Lee Yong Bok. It is an honor to have you taste something I have baked with the help of my competition partner, Chanbin-ah.”

“Oh my! We have a significant similarity there, I see,” smiles the Chef.

MC Hanbin laughs, “Not only does he share your name, in a sense, but Felix-hyung is also known worldwide for his brownie recipe. Isn’t that right, hyung?”

“Yes, my mates love it when I make them. Though our trainers don’t like it so much,” Felix giggles.

“Well, I should love to try them another day then, Yongbok-ah. Make sure to reach out when this is all over, ya?” asks the Chef.

“I would be… Yes, Of course. It would be a great honor!” Felix replies, bouncing on his toes with happiness. 

“First, he should try out the cake, hyung,” Chanbin interrupts. We present you with a take on strawberry shortcake. It is made with classic shortcake soaked in a simple syrup made with strawberry juice and topped with fresh strawberries, mint leaves, and whipped cream.”

“I can see that you have a keen eye, Team Yellow. You are the only ones to get it right, Congratulations. Now please cut us a slice, “ praises the Chef. 

After receiving the pieces, inspecting them, and tasting them, MC Hanbin speaks first, saying, “Wow! Your shortcake is so moist with strawberry flavor, and the whipped cream is the smoothest we have tasted. No wonder you are known for your bakes, Felix-hyung.”

“Hanbin-ah is right. You both did a great job with this bake. I can tell you must have sifted the flour and the sugar before incorporating them in, and the idea to make the simple syrup flavored adds a different dimension. Well done. It is clear that you are the winners of this challenge,” announces the Chef.

With bows of thanks and high-pitched squeals of joy, Team Yellow makes it back to their kitchen. 

“I want us all to thank Chef Yeon Bok Lee for joining us today. It was a delight to hear your thoughts on our competitors' dishes—some good and some bad. Team Yellow, with this win, you are tied with Team Purple for first place. Both teams have a chance to win the show by winning the challenge tomorrow, or Team Red, you have a chance to make it a three-way tie,” recaps MC Hanbin.

Looking at Team Yellow, he continues, “As winners of today’s challenge, Team Yellow, you won the advantages for tomorrow’s game, which is– Dance Battle. Each of our Idols will have 24 hours to learn the choreography of their assigned K-pop hit. They then have the next 72 hours to teach their competition partner.”

“In the First game, Y/n is a ninja. In the second game, Felix is a baking master. Now, in the final game, we got this Noona because we are both Idols and are used to learning dances quickly,” remarks Gyuvin to his competition partner. 

“I wouldn't be so sure, Gyuvin-ah. San is one of the main dancers for Ateez and is known for his determination and competitiveness. Not to forget, his dad is a Taekwondo instructor, so I am pretty sure that he has picked up some teaching skills from him,” Eunbi replies. 

~Dance Battle Song Selection~

“Hello, Team Yellow, and congratulations again on your win in Kitchen Crimes!” exclaims MC Hanbin. Both Team members bow in thanks and show their excitement to the cameras.

“It is time for your advantage! As you know, the next challenge is a Dance Battle and your win today allows you to pick the K-pop songs for all three teams,” he announces.

“No way! That is awesome!” Chanbin says, “We can pick an easy song for us and harder ones for the others. I have two left feet so, yeah. Felix-hyung, you know more about these dance challenges than I do, you pick please?”

“I know the perfect songs, easy peasy lemon squeezy,” Felix says with a smirk. 

“Oh, you already know what songs to pick, Felix-hyung?” asks MC Hanbin.

“Yeah, for Eunbi-shi and Gyuvin-ah… we don’t want to give them something easy because they are both idols. I have seen both of them dance, and they are good. So, we pick– Black Swan by BTS,” Felix declares.

“OH! Gyuvin is going to hate that,” laughs MC Hanbin. “It's a perfect choice for them. I can’t wait to see him try to lift Eubin-shi.”

“I think we can handle– My Angel by B.O.Y. It’s already choreographed for two males, and while it’s intricate, it’s not hard. What do you think?” Felix says, looking at Chanbin questioningly.

“Oh! I know that one. Yeah, I can manage that… I think,” agrees Chanbin.

“Chanbin-ssi, you may know your song now but you have to play fair and not start learning it until your dance practice with Felix-hyung, okay?” MC Hanbin warns the competitor, to which he nods in understanding.

“What song are you thinking about picking for San-hyung and Y/n-shi?” questions Chanbin. A smirk plays along Felix’s face while he rubs his hands together.

“Sannie and I have known each other for a while, and I remember he used to struggle with learning dances. For the competition, though, I want to challenge his ability to teach someone else not only to dance but to dance with intense emotion and strength. I want them to dance to– Red Lights by my hyungs, Bang Chan and Hyunjin.

~Dance Battle Idol Practice Day: Eubin~

“How do you practice Black Swang alone?” asked Eubin as she watched the modeled dance practice video. “See that! It’s a lift, and that is a spin. Do you have someone for me to practice with today?”

Eunbin says, looking at the camera, “Apparently, all of the Idols have to learn what they can alone today and then figure out the rest with our partners tomorrow. I just hope my partner is a lot stronger than he looks.

~Dance Battle Idol Practice Day: Felix~

“Well, now I kind of feel bad. I didn’t know that we would be alone for the first part of this dance practice. I thought we were going to be taught by someone. Not teach ourselves.” Felix laments. 

“Lucky for me and Sannie, our dances don’t have a lot of paired movement but more of mirrored or synchronized movements. Sorry, Noona Eubin! If it helps, I know that Gyuvin picked up Work by Ateez really quick according to the members. Soooorrrry!”

~Dance Battle Idol Practice Day: San~

“He did what?” San stands frozen when the producer tells him what song Felix picked for his team. “He does realize what this song is about, who dances it, and the… ahh… maturity level of this dance, right?”

Shaking his head, he watched the video again, “There are minimal lifts, but there are accessories, and touching, and like… Can Y/n-shi dance? Does anyone know if she will be alright with this?” 

He spends most of the first few hours just pacing and watching different videos of the song his “friend” picked for him to dance to with his current crush. While he doesn’t mind learning it or dancing it, especially with you, he wants to make sure you are comfortable with the sensuality and emotions of the dance. 

San’s head just spins, trying to figure out how to remain stage-appropriate while having to run his hands on your body, wrap you in chains, and press against you. His heart is aching as it comes up with a million reasons why you would be able to feel like that with him. 

~YouPlusMe: Challenge 3 Dance Battle~

“Welcome back to YouPlusMe,” smiles MC Hanbin. “While you saw our Idols' reactions to learning what song Team Yellow chose, you also saw that we gave them a dance room, a boombox, and a practice video.”

“We want to surprise you with the reactions and the dance practices with their competition partners. To watch the team practices and additional behind the scenes videos, please check out our YouTube channel. Don’t forget to like and subscribe!”

“What kind of competition can we have without a judge? Lucky for us, we have someone who started as a backup dancer Jason Wang. Now, he is known for his choreography skills and has worked with Enyphen, TXT, BTS, and Super M. Let me introduce none other than Mr. Nick Joseph!” introduces MC Hanbin.

“Hello, everyone,” Nick walks about with killer pop and lock moves. “It is a pleasure to be here. I have always been the one competing in these and never judging. I cannot wait to see what the Idols have been able to teach the newbies.”

“Now it’s the time we have all been waiting for. It’s time for… Dance Battles! Team Red is up first with their dance cover of BTS’ Black Swan,” introduces MC Hanbin.

They were dressed in solid black body suits covered with sheer drapes. Their faces were donning black and silver feathered masks. Eubin and Gyuvin lost themselves in the song. They moved around the stage, decorated to resemble a dead forest with fog machines and hanging twinkling lights. They gracefully engaged each other and made the lifts look effortless. It was like they controlled everyone who witnessed it with every beat they hit.

“That was breathtaking,” comments Nick.

“Gyuvin-ah! I never knew you had that kind of strength and elegance! I cannot wait for the rest to see this episode; you killed it. Eubin, how do you think your newcomer did?” asks MC Hanbin.

“He did really well. It took him a bit to trust himself with the lifts, but in the end, he gave 110% and never once made me concerned that he was going to drop me,” smiles Eubin and her partner, just blushing at the praise. 

“Thank you, noona, for being patient with me and trusting me to have the skills not to embarrass you. And Felix-hyung, thank you for the challenge, your song choice showed me that I am capable of more than I realize,” bows Gyuvin.

“Next up, we have Team Yellow. Nick-ssi, this team won the advantage in assigning the songs for the battle today. They chose My Angel by B of You. Let’s watch,” prompts MC Hanbin.

The multicolored spotlights have cleared the stage of everything, allowing the shiny black floor and dark-colored walls to showcase the two dancers taking the stage. Felix and Chanbin are dressed in black-on-black pinstripe suits, soft yellow shirts, and no tie.  

Once the dancing started, it was clear how well the suits fit but allowed for ease of movement. The crisp movements and synchronization between the two were clean and well-timed. 

The newcomer's solo piece only had a minor timing mishap, which was quickly corrected when the idol joined back in. 

“I loved the simplicity and the teamwork between the two of you,” compliments MC Hanbin.

“Mr. Ko, are you a dancer?” the guest judge asks. Chanbin simply shakes his head and then looks at Felix with a frown. Felix simply pats him on the back to comfort him in the moment. “Mr. Ko, I am impressed. I am assuming that the solo went a little off track because it didn’t move with the beat. Am I correct?

Both Team Yellow members nod as a staff member hands Felix a microphone: “Ah, yes. There was a sequence that got thrown off beat in the solo, but Chanbin-ah claims to have two left feet, which is why I chose this song for us.”

“Wow. Great choice of song, Mr. Lee. Mr. Ko, if this is your first time really dancing like this, and you are this good after only a couple of days. Bravo! You have great skills as a student, never lose that in life,” advises Nick.

“So far, Felix-hyung has picked songs that fit the teams well. During the selection process, he was trying to challenge his competitors and give his team the edge,” MC Hanbin tells the guest judge. 

“Ah, I think he missed his mark because Team Red killed it. His team struggled slightly, but we still have one more team left. What was Mr. Lee’s goal for the last team?” inquires Nick.

“He was hoping to challenge San-hyung with a song that would require him to teach not only dance but also the emotional side of dancing. Team Purple has Y/n-shi, a fashion designer.” MC Hanbin answers Nick.

“Oooo, yes, emotional understanding and ability to convey that is key for most duet performances,” comments the long-time choreographer. 

“It’s time! The stage has been set, and our team is in place. Here is Team Purple and their performance of Red Lights by Bang Chan and Hyunjin of Stray Kids,” announces MC Hanbin.

The only light on the stage comes from the back wall, which pulses red. The viewers can see an outline of you kneeling on a four-post bed. Your elegant but staccato movements sync with the deep breathing in the room as the song starts.

A chain in your hands goes across the stage, bringing the focus to San lying on the ground. As the words start, you pull him across the floor as you climb off the bed. 

Meeting in the middle, you pull him to his knees before you, and just as another breath is heard, the stage floods with lights, revealing your costumes.

San is wearing skin-tight black leather pants. His black shirt resembles a leather leotard with strategic cut-outs, long sleeves, and fingerless gloves. The tightness of his outfit shows off his muscular figure and leaves nothing to the imagination. Everything is lined with red ribbons and smaller red chains.

Your outfit is a short-sleeved curve-hugging leather body con dress and booty shorts that match San’s. It is also littered with cut-outs lined in red ribbons. Your forearms are decorated with the red chains you used to drag San across the floor. 

Both of your makeup designers went gothic, using thick black eyeliner, red eye shadow, and deep red lips. San’s skin was flawless and tan, while they used skin lightener on you, trying to bring a bit of a vampire vibe into the mix.

The two of you honor the mirrored dance of the Red Lights music video. Your fluidity and the power of the interactions between the pair of you has everyone shifting in their seats. 

As the song progresses, you both dance back to the bed. You shove San to lay on as you take the focus towards the end. Moving around the bed, you seduce the viewers. Using the chains wrapped around Sans pants as bindings, you connect them to the bottom posts. 

The chains from your arms unwind and connect to the cuffs of Sans's shirt. Using the chains, you guide San in his movements as the bed slides to the center of the stage and starts tilting toward the judges.

The song is close to the end when you latch the chains over to the bed's headboard and raise San’s arms over his head. Using the bed's angle, you slide off the bed. Soon, the bed is standing on end. 

Chains rattle as San struggles against the restraints, hindering his movements. His face is filled with desires and yearning for your touch.

With a deep roll to your hips, you walk up to San and run your nails along his body from his legs up to his abs. 

When the song ends, you lean in, ghosting a kiss over his lips, and then walk away into the night.

San’s deep panting was the only sound heard. 

The lights in the studio come back on. The other competitors and the judges are stunned at what they just witnessed. San has been released from his chains and joins you at the front of the stage. 

The attention without reactions has you nervously nibbling on your lower lip as you look up at San, who smirks down at you with his eyes still dark and dreamy looking. These last three days have been hell for you. 

The first time you heard the song, you were so excited because you loved it. I mean, how could you not be thrilled? Bang Chan was your bias. You already know the dance from the trillions of times you have watched music videos and YouTube dance practices. 

After showing off your moves to San, you blushed as he and the camera crew were floored. San couldn’t wait to make it fit the two of you. He quickly decided that you would be one of the two of you in charge. 

After some discussion with the production staff, the whole thing came together. The hardest part was making the bed work into the dance more than a stationary prop. 

San knew he didn’t want to end it with you and him suggestively on the bed because he wasn’t sure he could stop. When you came up with the idea of taking a more Dominatrix video for the dance and wanting just to leave San locked at your mercy, everyone laughed, but San thought it would be perfect. 

Not only did he want to see that side of you, but he also knew it would keep him in check. Then, he also asked if you could help figure out what the two of you would be wearing. Your creative juices were flowing. 

You were excited to design something for both you and San. You had never made men’s clothing, but it was a challenge you were willing to take on. Everything came together quickly with the help of the show’s wardrobe, production, and props team.

All these thoughts ran through your head as your focus remained on San alone. It wasn’t until the room exploded in applause that you finally relaxed into San and allowed all the jitters to disappear. Everyone is yelling out variations of acclimations. 

“Ok ok okay… Felix-ssi,” MC Hanbin looks at the idol. “I don’t think they struggled with anything with this song.”  Felix is just standing there trying to collect his jaw off the floor. His eyes stare into San’s skull with shock and many questions he cannot ask on air. 

“Miss Y/n, you killed it,” comments Nick. “Do you have any dance experience?”

While still trying to catch your breath, you answer, “Actually, I do.” pant pant pant “In high school, I was in a show choir, did some musicals, and I was part of a hip/hop and stomp club.”

“Period! That is why you know how to work the stage like it’s yours,” Nick exclaimed. 

“You should see you dance the original choreography to this song,” San beamed next to you. “I didn’t have to teach her a thing with that. Our time was spent making the dance more of a duet than a mirrored dance.”

“San-hyung,” MC Hanbin asked,  “how did you feel having Y/n-shi do the killing part in the dance?” 

“Easy.” San looks down at you while wrapping his arms around your shoulders in a back hug. “The moment she walked into the practice room and showed me what she could do, I knew I had to show off what an amazing and sexy partner I had.”

This caused the room to ooh and ahh, to which you tried your best not to blush. You just hoped the heat on your face was attributed to the dancing, not the comments or the feel of San behind you.

“Well, there you have it. Now, Nick-ssi, as our teams all gather on the stage, you have the wonderful job of selecting the winners of today’s Dance Battle challenge. Who is it going to be?” MC Hanbin looks at the guest judge.

“You know, as a dancer and choreographer, I can see so much talent between everyone on the stage. Each team found ways to work the songs chosen by Mr. Lee to their best abilities.”

Nick’s eyes dance over the teams, “Red Team, you swept us up with your grace. Yellow Team, you showed us what rhythm and teamwork mean.  Purple team, you took us on a ride that was powerful.”

“So which team is it?” prompts MC Hanbin. 

“I am going to have to go with… Team Purple!” 

This caused you and San to jump up and down, hugging and congratulating each other. The other teams came over to pat you on the back and personally remark on how great the dance was. 

“Nick-ssi, what was the reason why you finally chose the Purple team?” asked MC Hanbin.

“If I hadn’t known that Miss Y/n wasn’t a trained dancer, I would have thought that this was M Countdown's special appearance. The quality of dance, the passion between the two, and the costume design are top-notch,” explains Nick.

“Want to know something? Y/n-shi not only designed her costume but San’s as well in less than 72 hours,” informs MC Hanbin. “She really is a force to be reckoned with.”

Looking at the camera, MC Hanbin says, “Well this has been an amazing week of challenges for our Idols and our newbies. After three challenges, the clear winner of YouPlusMe is San-hyung and Y/n-shi!”

Cannons go off at the announcement of your team’s win. The stage gets covered in purple confetti as Red Lights starts playing again.

Everyone just grabs random partners and starts dancing. Felix is the one you end up dancing with as he pulls you farther and farther away from San. He wanted to dance some of the music video moves with you to send to his bandmates. 

You do not see San's look of longing and desire as he, too, gets swept away by the others.

After the song ends, you find yourself back in your personal dressing room. You would think you would be euphoric after winning the show, but your mind is focused on something else. 

You came here to show your work. Use it to your advantage and get your line out there. Challenge the Korean beauty standards and start a fire with the Fashion Industry as a whole. Apparently, the universe had more for you in mind, but you weren’t sure what to do about it. 

This last challenge is what broke down your walls. You weren’t expecting to feel something during all of this. You had thought it was just the rush of the competition, the thrill of showing the world who you were and working with someone who was just as excited to be here as you.

You weren’t blind. 

You noticed San from day one; who couldn’t? 

It was easy to dismiss because you wanted to focus on the show. After the first meeting and exchange of numbers, you soon learned that he had a charming personality.  

You found yourself looking forward to filming with him and smiling when he sent a text, but now that it’s over, you feel tight in your chest at the thought of never seeing him again.

It wasn’t until the second day of dance practice that you realized it wasn’t the show that you were excited about but San. Though you weren’t a morning person, it was early for anyone.

Opening the door to the practice room, you froze at the sight. The Idol ran on a different schedule than you, and it was clear he had been there long enough to build up a sweat. 

His face was half covered by a baseball cap pulled low. He wore baggy sweatpants that rode low on his hips, showing the band of his boxers, and no shirt. He was lost in his own world, dancing to It’s You by him and his bandmates Yeosang and Wooyoung. 

His body was moving like water. The body rolls, the hip thrusts, and the floorwork caused such a primal reaction from you that you had to leave. Your mind had gone into San becoming your partner in unprofessional ways.

A knock on the door brings you out of your thoughts. Walking to the door, you finish putting on your jacket and pull open the door. As if conjured by your thoughts, there stands San. 

“San,” you breathe, trying to keep your thoughts from seconds ago to yourself.

“Y/n,” smiles San. He seems fidgety tonight. 

“Thank you for everything.”

“Oh, it was nothing. I had a blast. This was my first challenge with someone who was really good at pretty much everything. It made me feel like I was the newbie of the two of us.”

“Oh, never. You are way too talented to be considered a newbie.”

The two of you stand there in the doorway of your dressing room. San is still fidgeting, and you don’t want him to leave yet.

“Are you going to the after party? I think Felix said something about it being at a Noraebang nearby. I think everyone else is going and may have invited others too.”

“I was thinking about it. I am pretty sure he invited my bandmates and his. It would be a perfect chance for you to meet the rest of your favorite K-pop band. Maybe get Chan-hyung and Hyujinnie to sing Red Lights for you?”

You giggle at the thought but hesitate, looking down and saying, “I would only want them to sing it if you were there to dance with me.”

A shy smile blooms on San’s face. Taking a chance that you might see the hidden question, he asks, “Do you want to keep dancing with me?” 

“I would love to keep dancing with you, Sannie.” You look up, smiling, hoping he means more than what he says. 

“Then, will you be my date to the after-party, and then maybe we can go to dinner some other time, just the two of us?” he asks again, stepping forward. 

Resting your hand on his chest, you lean into his warmth, “I would love to go out with you tonight or any night.”

With a smile on both your faces, San leans in and gives you a chaste kiss—just enough to settle your minds from the roller coaster of emotions you both experienced this week and light up your hearts with the excitement of a future together.

The last thought in your head is that agreeing to this show was more than you expected. You never expected to grow as much as you did, to win, or to find what may be love, but…

Was it Fate?

[rohirric-hunter]

So the cleaner was really good, but the cleaning service I booked through is really scammy. It's called Homeaglow and I'm calling them out directly -- they advertise a cleaning for $19 an hour and I'm not stupid, I figured there would be more fees on top of that and I was prepared to deal with that, but what I was NOT prepared for was to be roped into a monthly $50 a month membership that will incurr a $200 cancellation fee if I cancel before 6 months. Which BTW there was nothing about a membership on any page I looked at before I had already committed to it and given them my debit card information. Well, anyway, it's cheaper to cancel it now than to pay for the 6 months, especially since the cleaner gave me her number and told me to contact her directly if I wanted another cleaning, so I definitely won't be booking through them again even if I do decide to have someone come clean my apartment again, so I went to cancel it and it says that the cancellation failed because they were unable to charge my payment method for the cancellation fee. Which is silly. I have the money for it and other charges from them have posted just fine. I'm almost certain they're trying to prevent me from cancelling my membership with this bogus issue and there will be no problem charging my payment method for the monthly membership fee next month.

[cipher-animations-blog]

Anyone wondering why Watched fans are angry and upset about the announcement that Watcher is moving everything to a streaming service, we aren’t mad because they want to be paid for their work. In fact, most fans have been paying them.

They had a patreon, they had merch, ghost files got a live show people paid to watch. They have sponsors and get money from ad revenue. Fans have been supporting them for years now.

We’re angry because they are now making their content completely inaccessible to a majority of their fanbase. That they just pulled the rug out from under all of us without any warning at all. That this was something they hyped up, made a whole countdown for. Acting like a streaming service for one channel’s content, that only does one series at a time and barely uploads enough videos at a time to justify paying 6 dollars a month. A streaming service with no explanation for how it’s even gonna work, no new thing to even try and get people interested, there is nothing and yet they still expected fans to immediately pay up.

$6 adds up fast. In a year that’s around like $72 spent on one service that most people just can’t waste on a new streaming service. That’s not even mentioning people who live in other countries where the exchange rate makes this even more expensive. If they needed more support they had so many other options. Cause we understand YouTube sucks for creators right now. But like, they could have advertised their patreon more and done more with it, made a YouTube membership thing were you can get some extra content. Or started partnering with another service like Nebula or Dropout and make something with them. If they did any of these things there might have still been some people who would be upset, but most fans would have been happy to support it. Cause it’s optional and not forced on you.

So yeah I really don’t wanna hear from people who don’t even watch anything from the channel that we’re “being ungrateful” or “don’t care about their hardwork”. Because we did care. They just didn’t care about us.