#even when they're being problematic and difficult

[bioethicists]

it's very important to understand how a personality disorder diagnosis functions in the psychiatric system, even if you identify with the diagnosis or find it useful.

personality disorders on your medical record will be used to discredit anything you say or do. they indicate "don't bother listening to this person; apply treatment regardless of their wishes but also they're probably manipulating/attention-seeking so maybe don't bother treating them". needing support becomes attention-seeking. behaviors that would be treated + supported in someone without this diagnosis are ignored or treated as manipulative. providers are instructed to "withdraw warmth" (a real thing in the DBT provider's manual, btw) in response to self-injury or suicidal ideation.

if you have been dx'd with a personality disorder professionally, you likely understand this.

now, here's the important part: this is not an issue of 'stigma' against a politically neutral, pre-discursive True Disease which is being Unfairly Maligned. these diagnoses were formulated based on the idea that some patients cannot be trusted, that some patients seek care too much. they are applied to patient charts as a justification for withdrawing care or as a dismissal of someone "not getting better" fast enough. in the uk, they are often employed by the nhs to shame or problematize people who use large amounts of nhs resources, arguing that receiving a lot of care through the nhs is a negative behavior stemming from a disordered personality.

there are elements of personality disorders which resonate strongly with many people, including myself, but you need to be clear-eyed about the origins + functions of this diagnosis. as a whole, they were created + function as ways to discredit + mistreat noncompliant or "difficult" patients. 'reclaiming' them is not going to change how they function systematically- it is going to make it easier to engage in this systematic neglect by evoking 'ableism' or 'stigma!' when people question the utility or application of the diagnosis.

[the-seelie-court-official]

no but fr we've all done and said problematic things. y'all need to stop believing everything you see on the internet- not only are people prone to misspeaking, they're prone to being misinterpreted, misconstrued, taken out of context-

and it's very important to me that everyone understands that the same can be done to them.

you do Not want to know what could/would happen if a bad actor got their hands on all the DMs you've ever sent, or even all the things you've ever posted publicly. But you're helping perpetuate that very nightmare whenever you endorse or spread callout posts

it is very easy to manipulate events and screenshots such that they tell a very narrow narrative, and it's easy to do this in a way that guarantees an emotional response in order to make any reader angry. it is very easy to manufacture outrage and anger. it is very difficult to repair a reputation or heal from this kind of breach of trust and common decency

who are you helping? when you call for someone to be ousted from their community, who are you helping? when you ask for someone to be punished for years-old words, who are you helping?

and where would you be if the same magnifying glass was pointed in your direction?

[essektheylyss]

I think Orym is a fascinating character in a way that is often underappreciated, because he is fundamentally a soldier, he was trained as a soldier, and that's... not a bad thing? It has no moral indication, and certainly doesn't imply that Orym is going dark. In fact, in the current circumstances, Orym acting as a soldier is very important and may actually get them through this in one piece.

I do feel that this aspect of his character is frequently approached in the fandom as an afterthought or even swept under the rug, or flat out viewed as a flaw to be overcome (especially given the overall landscape of military conflict in the real world), but being a trained soldier is not inherently indicative of specific morality or ideology. I think it's a judgment that also gets levied against paladins, because, much like any organized forces in fantasy are equated with modern militaries, fantasy worship is equated with Christianity (sometimes in the guise of 'organized religion' with all of its problematic connotations). It's incredibly black and white, and it doesn't fundamentally make sense in much of Exandria, but in this case especially.

You cannot fundamentally map the Tempest Blades onto any real life military, because the task of the Tempest, and Ashari culture as a whole, is protection against both extraplanar threats and also the malicious or misguided intentions of those on the Material Plane trying to fuck with the elemental planes. This is distinctly different even in universe from, for instance, Caleb, who was trained as an assassin in the name of nationalism, or Yasha, who was trained to be a leader in the name of tribalism.

And these two threats that the Ashari are tasked with resisting are both frequent, credible, and existential! Failing at this task is liable to have major sweeping repercussions for the rest of Exandria! It is highly probable that a soldier with Orym's training is expected to need to make incredibly difficult decisions in defense of the common good at more than one point in their life—decisions that would make every person who laughs at the premise of the trolley problem shit their pants.

And crucially, Orym wants his friends to get out of this. He has in fact already promised his entire life to ensure that they do, because he also fundamentally needs them to be able to do what they came for, without hesitation, because the singular mandate that he has devoted himself to is protecting the Material Realm from extraplanar threats, and regardless of the fact that the rest of them do not have the same training, that is also the task that the Hells have chosen.

If Nana Morri can get the Hells out in one piece, regardless of what choices they make, then their personal risk doesn't matter. I imagine that Orym isn't going to tell them that, because given the scope of the threat, there's not necessarily a guarantee that Morri can make that happen, so the rest of the Hells have to make the choice themselves to take the risk and trust that the others have their backs. And in the end, if Orym has to live with that no matter which way fate plays out, he will. He's already had plenty of practice.

They're at war, and that's how soldiers operate. Because when they're behind enemy lines, it's the only way missions get completed and they have a chance of making it back alive.

[tangibletechnomancy]

The (Personal) Is (Political)

~7 hours, Dall-E 3 via Bing Image Creator, generated under the Code of Ethics of Are We Art Yet?

Or, Dear Microsoft and OpenAI: Your Filters Can't Stop Me From Saying Things: An interactive exercise in why all art is political and game of Spot The Symbols

A rare piece I consider Fully Finished simply as a jpeg, though I may do something physical with it regardless. "Director commentary" below, but I strongly encourage you to go over this and analyze it yourself before clicking through, then see how much your reading aligns with my intent.

Elements I told the model to add and a brief (...or at least inexhaustive) overview of why:

Anime style and character figures - Frequently associated with commercial "low" art and consumer culture, in East Asia and the English-speaking world alike, albeit in different ways - justly or otherwise. There is frequently an element of racism to the denigration of anime styles in the west; nearly any American artist who has taken formal illustration classes can tell you a story of being told that anime style will only hinder them, that no one will hire them if they see anime, or even being graded more harshly and scrutinized for potential anime-esque elements if they like anime or imply that they may like anime - including just by being Asian and young. On the other hand, it is true that there is a commercial strategy of "slap an anime girl on it and it will sell". The passion fans feel for these characters is genuine - and it is very, very exploitable. In fact, this commercialization puts anime styles in particular in a very contentious position when it comes to AI discussions!

Dark-skinned boy with platinum and pink [and blue] hair - Racism and colorism! They're a thing, no matter how much the worst people in the world want you to think they're long over and "critical race theory" is the work of evil anti-American terrorists! I chose his appearance because I knew that unless I was incredibly lucky, I would have to fight with this model for multiple hours to get satisfactory results on this point in particular - and indeed I did. It was an interesting experience - what didn't surprise me was how much work it took me to get a skin color darker than medium-dark tan; what did surprise me was that the hair color was very difficult to get right. In anime art, for dark skin to be matched with light hair and eyes is common enough to be...pretty problematic. Bing Image Creator/Dall-E, on the other hand, swings completely in the opposite direction and struggles with the concept of giving dark-skinned characters any hair color OTHER than black, demanding pretty specific phrasing to get it right even 70% of the time. (I might cynically call this yet another illustration against the pervasive copy-paste myth...) There is also much to say about the hair texture and facial features - while I was pleased to see that more results than I expected gave me textured hair and/or box braids without me asking for it, those were still very much in the minority, and I never saw any deviation from the typical anime facial structures meant to illustrate Asian and white characters. Not even once!

Pink and blue color palette - Our subject is transgender. Bias self-check time: did you make that association as quickly as you would with a light-skinned character, or even Sylveon?

Long hair, cute clothes, lots of accessories - Styling while transmasc is a damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't situation, doubly so if you're not white. In many locations, the medical establishment and mainstream attitude demands total conformity to the dominant culture's standard conventional masculinity, or else "revoking your man card" isn't just a joke meant to uphold the idea that men are "better" than women, but a very real threat. In many queer communities, especially online, transmascs are expected to always be cute femboys who love pink (while transfems are frequently degraded and seen as threats for being butch), and being Just Some Guy is viewed as inherently a sign of assimilationism at best and abusiveness at worst. It is an eternal tug-of-war where "cuteness" and ornamentation are both demanded and banned at the same time. Black and brown people are often hypermasculinized and denied the opportunity to even be "cute" in the first place, regardless of gender. Long hair and how gender is read into it is extremely culture-dependent; no matter what it means to you, if anything, the dominant culture wherever you are will read it as it likes.

Trophies and medals - For one, the trans sports Disk Horse has set feminism back by nearly 50 years; I'm barely a Real History-Remembering Adult and yet I clearly remember a time when the feminist claim about gender in sports was predominantly "hey, it's pretty fucked up that sports are segregated by sex rather than weight class or similar measures, especially when women's sports are usually paid much less and given weirdly oversexualized uniforms," but then a few loud living embodiments of turds in the punch bowl realized that might mean treating trans people fairly and now it's super common for self-proclaimed feminists - mostly white ones - to claim that the strongest woman will still never measure up to the weakest man and this is totally a feminist statement because they totally want to PROTECT women (with invasive medical screenings on girls as young as 12 to prove they're Really Women if they perform too well, of course). For two, Black and brown people are stereotyped as being innately more sporty, physically strong, and, again, Masculine(TM) than others, which frequently intersects with item 1...and if you think it only affects trans women, I am sorry my friend but it is so much worse and more extensive than you think.

Hearts - They mean many things. Love. Happiness. Cuteness. Social media engagement?

TikTok - A platform widely known and hated around these parts for its arcane and deeply regressive algorithm; I felt it deserved to be name/layout/logodropped for reasons that, if they're not clear already, should become so in the final paragraph.

Computers, cameras and cell phones - My initial specification was that one of the phones should be on Instagram and another on TikTok, which the model instead chose to interpret as putting a TikTok sticker on the laptop, but sure, okay. They're ubiquitous in the modern day, for better and for worse. For all the debate over whether phones and social media are Good For Us or Bad For Us, the fact of the matter is, they seem to be a net positive-to-neutral, whose impacts depend on the person - but they do still have major drawbacks. The internet is a platform for conspiracy theories and pseudoscience and dangerous hoaxes to spread farther than ever before. Social media culture leaves many people feeling like we're always being watched and every waking moment of our lives must be Perfect - and in some senses, we are always being watched these days. Digital privacy is eroding by the day, already being used to enforce all the most unjust laws on the books, which leads to-

Pigs - I wrote the prompt with the intention that it would just be a sticker on the laptop, but instead it chose to put them everywhere, and given that I wanted to make a somewhat stealthy statement about surveillance, especially of the marginalized...thanks for that, Dall-E! ;)

Alligators - A counter to the pigs; a short-lived antifascist symbol after...this.

Details I did not intend but love anyway:

The blue in the hair - I only prompted for platinum and pink in the hair, but the overall color palette description "bled" over here anyway, completing the trans flag, making it even more blatant, and thus even more effective as a bias self-check.

The Macbook - I only specified a laptop. Hilariously ironic, to me, that a service provided through Bing interpreted "laptop" as "Macbook" nearly every time. In my recent history, 22 out of 24 attempts show, specifically, a Macbook. Microsoft v. OpenAI divorce arc when? ;) But also, let us not forget Apple's role in the ever-worsening sanitization of the internet. A Macbook with a TikTok sticker (or, well, a Tiikok sticker - recognizable enough) - I can think of little more emblematic of one of the main things I was complaining about, and it was a happy accident. Or perhaps an unhappy one, considering what it may imply about Apple's grip on culture and communications.

Which brings me to my process:

Generated over ~7 hours with Dall-E 3 through Bing Image Creator - The most powerful free tool out there for txt2img these days, as well as a nightmare of filters and what may be the most disgustingly, cloyingly impersonal toxic positivity I've ever witnessed from a tool. It wants to be Art(TM), yet it wants to ban Politics(TM); two things which are very much incompatible - and so, I wanted to make A Controversial Statement using only the most unflaggable, innocuous elements imaginable, no matter how long it took.

All art is political. All life is political. All our "defaults" are cultural, and therefore political. Anything whatsoever can be a symbol.

If you want all art to be a substance-free "look at the pretty picture :)" - it doesn't matter how much you filter, buddy, you've got a big storm coming.

[enigmaticexplorer]

Fake Mating Bonds: The Similarity Between Rowan/Lyria and Elain/Lucien

This post was inspired by @violetasteracademic who pointed out the similarity when discussing fake mating bonds between Azriel's ACOSF bonus chapter and Empire of Storms. You can read it here!

I've decided to take her breakdown a step further and 1) compare Rowan and Lucien, and how they regard Lyria and Elain, and 2) rely on these canon scenes to suggest that the mating bond between Elain and Lucien is fake. None of this is novel. It's been around for years, and most people who've engaged in the fandom probably know all of this. But I like having page numbers to reference, so I thought this would be helpful.

This post contains spoilers for TOG, ACOTAR, and HOFAS.

(KOA: Chapter 5 - pages 62-63)

She’d [Maeve] gone into his head to trick him into thinking Lyria was his mate, had fooled the very instincts that made him a Fae male…. Why Lyria had been so frightened of him for those initial months, why it had been so damn hard to court her, even with that mating bond, its truth unknown to Lyria as well. She was gentle, and quiet, and kind. A different sort of strength, yes, but not what he might have chosen for himself.

(ACOWAR: Chapter 24 - page 249)

Touch her, smell her, taste her— The instincts were a running river… But there she was. His mate. She was nothing like Jesminda. Jesminda had been all laughter and mischief, too wild and free to be contained by the country life that she’s been born into…. She had chosen him. Elain had been…thrown at him.

What Rowan and Lucien Think About Their "Mates'" Personalities

To start, let's look at how Rowan and Lucien think about Lyria and Elain, respectively.

Rowan describes Lyria as gentle, quiet, and kind—all three are attributes he respects. And yet he admits that they're not characteristics of a mate he would have chosen for himself. He knew that Lyria's personality wasn't his preference, and it's even implied (refer to the last line from the section above) that he questioned why Lyria was his mate.

Similarly, Lucien describes Jesminda as laughter, mischief, wild, and free. He claims that Jesminda had chosen him—regardless of station—but Elain had been thrown at him. Through this comparison between Jesminda and Elain, it's implied that 1) Elain does not have the personality traits Lucien admired in Jesminda—personality traits he would have liked his mate (his true love) to possess, and, therefore, 2) Lucien doesn't see Elain as a mate he would have chosen for himself.

Both Rowan and Lucien make it clear that their "mates" had/have unusual personality traits—traits that oppose their preferences. [Note: Lyria and Elain's traits/personalities (being quiet, kind, gentle) are not depicted as bad traits. They're simply not the traits these males prefer in a partner.]

Lyria and Elain's Reactions to Their "Mating" Bonds

Now that we've established similarities between Rowan and Lucien's thinking about Lyria and Elain, respectively, let's look at how both female characters react to the bond.

Rowan tells us that Lyria was afraid of him, initially. And while Rowan admits to eventually coming to love her (same chapter, bottom of page 62), Lyria's fear—due to the unnatural state of their bond—made their courtship difficult. The text implies that 1) she avoided Rowan and 2) only once he proved himself a decent male—and because of the tug of the bond—did she give into him.

Similarly, Elain remains disinterested with Lucien. I don't think it's implied that she's afraid of him, like Lyria was of Rowan, however, she is uncomfortable around Lucien. She avoids him, and she only interacts with him when her family forces her to. And her interactions are polite, nothing more. Their "courtship" is difficult and problematic with Elain not wanting to entertain Lucien's attention/forced affections, and Lucien being uninspired to truly pursue her. [An aside: I don’t think that Lucien deserves applause for giving Elain space. A male not forcing himself on a woman is not admirable—it’s the bare minimum of human existence (in this case Fae existence).]

It seems that both Lyria and Elain had/have an instinctive knowledge that something was/is wrong with their bond—both females avoided/avoid their "mates" unless forced to see him. An unusual characteristic considering that we're told a mating bond overpowers your base instincts and should have compelled them to at least show some interest in Rowan/Lucien.

Males Portraying Mate-Like Behaviors with Their Fake Mates

I've seen a few posts circling about how Lucien feels so strongly for Elain and because he portrays mate-like behaviors towards her, that means they're end game.

In the KOA passage, we learn that Rowan felt mate-like tendencies for Lyria. He claims the mating bond that Maeve constructed "had fooled the very instincts that made him a Fae male." The very instincts.

We also see these mate-like behaviors described earlier in the series.

(HOF: Chapter 35 - pages 303-304)

"When you lose a mate, you don't..." A shake of the head. "I lost all sense of self, of time and place..." "For ten years, I did nothing. I vanished. I went mad. Beyond mad. I felt nothing at all. I just...left. I wandered the world, in and out of my forms, hardly marking the seasons, eating only when my hawk told me it needed to feed or it would die. I would have let myself die--except I...couldn't bring myself..." "I had nothing. No one. At that point, I hoped serving her [Maeve] might get me killed, and then I could see Lyria again."

Even though Lyria wasn't his real mate, Rowan still felt that pull to her. He believed—thanks to his fae male instincts—that she was his mate, and when she died, he spent ten years mourning her. Ten years barely eating. Ten years spending most of his time in hawk form. And he took the blood oath to Maeve with the hope that he would die and reunite with Lyria.

Remember: Lyria wasn't Rowan's real mate. And yet he still displayed all of those mate feelings and behaviors. So much so he nearly died because of his grief.

Similarly, we see Lucien display the same feelings/thoughts for Elain—hence his internal monologue in ACOWAR to touch her, taste her, claim her. However, as we've learned from Rowan's experience, male's portraying mate-like behaviors and feelings is not confined to real mate bonds. These instincts can be—and have been—bastardized and abused to create fake bonds.

So, even though Lucien displays some mate-like feelings/behaviors for Elain, it doesn't mean that Elain and Lucien are real mates. Even then, his willingness to stay away from her and give her space (again, I will not applaud him for not forcing himself on Elain), is at odds with how a mated male acts around and towards his mate. Compare Lucien to Rowan—Rowan couldn't stay away from Lyria and he actively pursued her, even though she wasn't his real mate.

Based on these comparisons, we can safely theorize—and assume—that a fake mating bond exists between Elain and Lucien. Elain does not act like a mated female (I will not judge Elain for wanting to kiss Azriel, and I will always support female characters choosing their own love), and even though Lucien shows some mate-like tendencies, his willingness and ability to avoid Elain, and compare her to Jesminda, is unusual for a mated male.

The real question is: Who or What created the fake mating bond between Elain and Lucien?

I'm inclined to believe it was the Cauldron. From what we learned in HOFAS, the Cauldron was "warped" by the Asteri.

(HOFAS: Chapter 19 - pages 195-196)

...the Daglan captured it [the Cauldron] and used their powers to warp it. To turn it from what it had been into something deadlier. No longer just a tool of creation, but of destruction.

The Cauldron is not a benevolent or good Thing. It causes both creation but also destruction. And it's not farfetched to theorize that the Cauldron—like Maeve—created the bond between Elain and Lucien. However, there's not enough canonical evidence to truly suggest that it was the Cauldron that created their bond.

That being said, canon has made it clear that 1) a fake mating bond can exist, and 2) mate-like tendencies are not definitive of a real mating bond.

[alittlebitofloveliness]

Let's Talk about Soda and Cherry As Foils

It's pretty widely known and accepted that Bob and Randy are foils to Soda and Steve, almost the soc version of them, something Hinton even named in her book. However, I think BECAUSE she named this foiling people overlook another pair of narrative foils who are a little harder to notice but ultimately very interesting to analyze. This may ruffle some feathers, but I'm talking about how Bob and Cherry's relationship foils Soda and Sandy's. Cherry and Sandy are narratively as different as they could possibly be. Cherry is the queen of socs, a cheerleader, at the top of the social totem pole, whereas Sandy is pretty enough and 'sweet' but still a loud and brash greaser girl, with very little social status. That said, both girls managed to pull boys who are viewed highly by their peers in their own respective circles, Bob who was 'charming and funny' and well liked by socs, and Soda who was 'handsome enough even soc girls went after him'. HOWEVER, in my opinion, this is a very surface level view of these characters relationships foiling one another- and that's because I don't truly think Chery and Sandy foil each other, or that Bob and Soda do. If we're looking at foiling through the lense of both problematic romances, which both end badly (albeit in different ways) I actually think that Cherry and SODA foil each other the best. They both fell for problematic people, but Soda was too blind to see it, and Cherry willing to ignore it. They're both very clearly upset when their relationships end, but Cherry develops through the story to the point where it's questionable she would have stayed with Bob had he survived, whereas Soda admits he was willing to stay with Sandy and marry her even though she cheated and was having another man's baby. Now, having looked at Chery and Soda as foils, we now need to look at Sandy and Bob as foils. This is difficult, as neither character gets a lot of 'screen time', but narratively speaking, they're not that different. Both were good looking, known for being charismatic, but they both clearly had a dark side, something neither of them are shown to ever have had much remorse about. We know that Bob 'was always waiting for someone to tell him no', and I think to some extent the same could be said of Sandy. I don't want to impose TOOO much speculation into what's supposed to be a cut and dry character analysis, but in my experience cheaters often want the next, shiny new person, when they get bored/feel a lack of attention from their new partner, and I think that's what happened to her when the Curtis parents died and Soda had less time to shower her with attention/love. One COULD argue that Sandy also has the INVERSE of Bob's problem, in that she's spent her whole life being told no and not having enough, so that when she has a surplus of boys who are after her, the first time she's had "too much" of anything, she takes what she wants from all of them, however, I think that interpretation comes with it's own set of problems. Either way you look at it, Bob and Sandy both end up being wolves in sheep's clothing, albeit in different ways, and Cherry and Soda end up being the idiots who fell in love with them, and ended up breaking their own hearts in the process but also learning from these failed relationship experiences.

But yeah. Just some Thursday night thoughts.

[sunflowerofchaos]

Okay enough time has passed for me to throw my two cents into the Bridgerton discourse. Many are displeased with the season and part 2 specifically. I have been trying to piece together what my issues were with it and I hope that someone can find this and maybe find something that clicks as to why the season may have been disappointing.

I am a big polin stan. In fact I started watching for and because of them. Totally believed in the supremacy of their story because of their adorable friendship and the long build up ever since the pilot.

I loved part one. That will be controversial but I truly did. Was the pacing a bit off? Yes it was!

But did it give us the romcom atmosphere, the yearning, the love? Yes definitely! I'll even argue that part one, the going from "friendship to love" is done more beautifully in the show than in the book. People said one kiss is all it takes for Colin but that's really not true in the show. If you take account of the history we have because of season 1 and 2 it doesn't feel that way.

And the funny thing is that despite part one having a bunch of side plots, it worked. It was walking on the edge of being too much but it didn't cross the line.

Not yet anyways... so here are my 6 big errors of part 2

Like everyone I was way too hyped after the carriage scene, which leads to..

Error number 1: The break after the carriage scene set the bar too high. The long break filled with press and interviews further hyping up part 2 after that high consequently did damage to the reception of part 2. I believe that almost anything after the carriage would appear as a let down due to the wait. That's kind of unfair to the show I know, but it also makes sense as we, the audience would have abnormally high expectations that are difficult to please.

Part 2 is flawed and there is no arguing that. The beginning of it felt like a let down due to the split right after the carriage scene aka the climax of part 1 (pun intended) but fine objectively speaking episode 5 and 6 are nice. But then comes error number 2, the fact that we have 2 episodes where their love is clouded by the secret of lady whistledown. I feel like that was problematic to the pacing of part 2 (which is a problem in itself). The tension in episode 5 was necessary but also so much. So much that Colin literally questions her feelings. Then episode 6 instead of lifting that cloud sooner, continues to sour the polin scenes until the very end of the episode. The reveal should have been earlier in episode 6, so they have time to properly heal and be happy. (Seperate errors that I will adress)

Error number 3 is how the wedding fell under the dark cloud of the angst. I was wishing it would be the happy wedding of bridgerton and it was happier than Daphne's or Anthony's (not that we saw the real one) but the queen disrupting the wedding felt like another punch. One more time we were close to seeing their happiness but couldn't. (Something we barely get to see at all)

Then error number 4 (my personal enemy). The pacing of the conflict and healing. The way Colin was hurting was amazingly portrayed by Luke and I even understand how Colin wanted to hurt Pen with the entrapment comment and unlike many I won't hate him for it at all. But one thing where the writing really failed me is how polin shared a number of scenes that could've had a bigger role in their healing but ultimately didn't. I will list the scenes and how EVERYTIME we think they are a step closer to healing, they go back to square one and how that effects the scene where they eventually do "heal".

Exhibit A: The modiste scene. Beautiful confrontation and it really set up the possibility of them talking through it more but then it ends abruptly with Colin shutting down (however I'm inclined to give this one some saving grace because at least they talk)

Exhibit B: The wedding. Colin once again gives us hope that perhaps they're closer to making up but when Colin walked away with Pen and they had a second confrontation where she states that she is lady whistledown, I expected Colin to at least accept that statement and not revert back to being in denial about it afterwards and shutting down again. This could've been the scene where Colin starts to accept them as one. (Not to take away from the letters scene but it would have been a great foundation for it)

Exhibit C: The bedroom scene. Ah my personal nominee. This scene could've been so much more and no I don't mean a sexy scene. This scene could've been thee scene where they talk. It would've felt more powerful to have the talk that they have in Bridgerton house in their bedroom instead. I can't stress how it would've fit perfectly and been book compliant. If they had utilized this scene better, then polin being at Fran's wedding the next day would've have felt more emotional and helped convince us of them gradually solving the conflict. Netflix, that wouldn't even take from your running time. Pen could've confronted him there as she did in the book. Colin could've faced his jealousy right then and there instead of having Cressida point it out for him and still not facing it.

Exhibit D: Bridgerton house. Yes they do talk here and you can see that scene as the one where they settle things prior to the ball, BUT one it is too close to the end and it feels cut short which frankly doesn't seem enough for the viewers to believe that they now have joined hands. This scene was personally not enough for me. I think if you expand the conversation it would be much better or again if you put this dialogue in the bedroom scene it would have been powerful and helped the pacing as the bedroom scene was in the first half of the finale and this one way too close to the ball.

You'll see that every scene post reveal is following the same frustrating pattern of them brushing over the problem. You in turn get your hopes up for it to develop further into forgiveness, then voila Colin shuts down and goes back to square one. That was extremely frustrating for me as a viewer as it happened multiple times, especially since it seems ridiculous to leave the conflict in the air till the last 10 minutes when they have had several opportunities to solve it sooner. Colin's peace at the end comes too suddenly as those previous scenes don't see him gradually make peace with the matter but always shutting down and running. Those scenes could have been used to show the steps of him gradually getting over it, forgiving her and facing himself.

Error number 5. The side plots and overall pacing.. As I said part 1 walked the fine line but part 2 crossed it. What do you mean that we get more scenes of secondary characters than polin getting over their conflict and having some time to see their happiness. That messes with the pacing, making part 2 seem to want to cram up as much plot as possible. You have Francesca's love match, Benedict's exploration, Eloise's general conflict and dynamic with Cressida, Cressida's own story, Violet's arc, lady Danbury and her brother's conflict, the Mondrichs arc, the solicitor, queen etc...

This season was simply TOO ambitious for its own good. It tried to do too much. Suddenly it didn't feel like polin season but rather the season to set everything up for the next season and that really hurts as a polin fan.

Finally error number six which is by far the most famous error. The lack of happy polin. As I explained episode 5 and 6 while showed some happiness it didn't feel real because of the secret constantly hanging around. They were happy but you as a viewer might have felt more worried and had a more bittersweet feeling. Especially when you see Colin get more and more anxious and insecure during those episodes. Then episode 7 and 8 sees them miserable most of the time. That sucks even though it is necessary it still sucks. Sucks because after all that put together we don't get to see it pay off. 4 episodes of angst and they give you one scene that suddenly heals it, 10 seconds sexy scene and an epilogue scene where they suddenly have a baby. It is simply not enough to balance out the dark vibe of the entirety of part 2. That is why thousands of people are hanging onto the petition to release the deleted scenes. So we can finally see the pay off of the angst and can properly balance out the emotions that came with it and move on.

Not to mention the absolutely wasted confession of Colin Bridgerton.. when he said I love you at the end of episode 8 I was already thinking "with everything that you are, everything you have been and everything you hope to be????!!!" But then he didn't say it and I was confused as to why they would possibly not use THEE love confession??? Since that's Bridgertons thing??? Having incredible confessions... And it's not like it didn't fit in fact it would have fit so well. At this point if you squint you might imagine hearing luke continuing the line for God's sake. That remains a mystery that makes no sense to me.

So by now I don't think anyone got that far and I can't complain because I wrote this for me. To structure my thoughts and make peace with it. And so to sum up these errors: the split, the structure of episode 5/6, the wedding sadness, the way the conflict/healing was handled, the pacing with the side plots and the lack of happiness to counteract the angst. I will revisit part 1 happily and just stop after the mirror lol. I will look forward to seeing polin happy in 2 years I guess.. and I do believe that when season 4 comes out and they're happy and are hanging around we will accept season 3 way more and come to hopefully love it.

[andy-wm]

Relationships 101: What we can learn from JK's live.

I have thoughts about JK's live from 22 July. They have to come out of my head so here they are ...

JK had a few drinks wth his old pal, ARMY.

Even though it was a casual chat he clearly had things on his mind. And when the topic of the explicit lyrics came up, he didn't shy away from it.

He told us that he loves and values us, and at the same time, he made it clear that he's going to do what he wants and that he won't accept being controlled or held to other people's standards. Essentially he told us to pull our heads out of our asses, but with total diplomacy.

He also told us how much the we mean to him, and that genuinely wants us in his life, now and in the future. He said we are his primary support, even more than his parents. That's no joke.

But he didn't tiptoe around the problematic parts of the relationship - how the fandom sees him vs how he seems himself, his need for freedom to grow, and being able to express and trust himself without fear of judgement.

(There was an element of 'please love me' in all of this that pulled at my heartstrings 🥺)

What did I take away from this?

Of course, the content was important and I'll definitely come back to it, but...

For myself, I learned a few important things about JK:

He's sincere.

He's mature.

He's committed to his relationships.

He's not afraid of difficult conversations, or talking about his feelings, or being vulnerable with people he trusts.

He's prepared to do the work to make things right.

He addresses concerns head on.

He acknowledges and accepts people's differences.

He doesn't let a disagreement weigh him down or become 'baggage'.

He maintains a sense of humour.

Wow. Really. I'm 🥰🤩🥹💞 (can't words LOL but I AM IMPRESSED)

So how does this relate to him and Jimin?

I feel like I saw a little of what he's like as partner.

I always wondered how the heck he and Jimin maintained a healthy and loving relationship in the environment they're in.

THIS IS HOW. FIVE STAR COMMUNICATION.

Sure, they MUST argue - they get tired, they get grumpy, they get petty, they get offended - they are human. There are huge social and professional issues weighing down on them too, so they problably have major disagreements just like regular people. But JK's live was a beautiful example of healthy communication.

It kinda made me happy (satisfied/relieved?) to see that he has both the skills and the intrinsic ability to respond to criticism (yes, that explicit lyrics question IS criticism) without being reactive. And he can separate the difficult conversation from the relationship as a whole.

In a way, this is directly relatable to the story he told with the SEVEN MV... hmmm... interesting...

*The subtitles arent available yet. This interpretation is based on army twt translations.

*These opinions are my own 💜💛

[monarch-of-jack]

I might be the only one here. But the reason I feel conflicted when I see people shipping and sexualizing Aspec characters, is because I don't trust most of you to be respectful about it. Not to mention some of you straight up arent.

Yes, Aspecs are an incredibly diverse group of people. I KNOW. I've been in their circles for well over 10 years. But do you all really care about that?

If you don't, then you're really just using it as an excuse to ignore their identities.

Let me make it very clear that I support exploring ALL the nuanced ways that someone can be Aspec. We are so much more varied than just sex-repulsed Aces and romance-repulsed Aros. (Though those are still valid experiences, don't shit on them!)

There are Allosexual Aromantics. There are Alloromantic Asexuals. Aspecs in Queerplatonic Relationships. Grey-Aspecs, Demi-Aspecs, Oriented AroAces, Cupio-, Flux-, Lith-, Fray-, Recipro- Aego-, and a million other types of Aspecs. It's a huge spectrum.

And orientation doesn't equal action. There are sex/romance favorable Aspecs. There are kinky & kink favorable Aspecs. Aces that have and have had sex for whatever reason. Aros that are and have been in romantic relationships for whatever reason. Maybe they felt pressured. Maybe they were experimenting. Maybe they were still finding themselves. Maybe they were forced. Maybe they do it for their partner. Maybe they do it for money or their image. Maybe they just like it despite lacking attraction. Aspecs are people. They are all different and all equally valid in how they live their lives.

A character being Aspec literally just means they're lacking attraction in one way or another. So there's still endless possibilities in creating canon and fanon for them.

But are most of you really shipping characters like Alastor, Peridot, Jughead and co. as Aspecs, or are you looking for excuses to disregard their identity?

Have you actually educated yourself about their identities so you can portrait them accurately and respectfully? Are you infantilizing and patronizing them or make them act stupid? Do you make them pitiful, antisocial, or 'difficult to deal with'? Are you arguing with Aspec people when they point out something is problematic? Are you accepting input from Aspec people? Do you explain that you're shipping/sexualizing that Aspec character because of your specific headcanon or AU? Do you get angry if you have to clarify that after the fact? If you as an Allo, ship or sexualize Aspec characters, do you really do it with them still being Aspec?

The thing is, you can. But a lot of you don't. And that's why Aspec people react defensifely.

We have little to no representation in the media as it is. And yet you're annoyed when we ask you not to diminish or erase their identities.

I want to see Aspecs in all kinds of situations and with all sorts of preferences. But way too many of you are ready to shit on Aspec identities to get your fanon out.

I could go on for days about this. But the fact that some of you will get angy that I even made this post is exactly what I'm talking about.

[l0stfoster]

What's your opinion on Cursed Tulsa OC's?

Answering this real quick bc I just got the notification for it but I am SO open for OC's!! The AU in itself is a creative medium, I'd love to see how you guys would find a way to merge any Outsiders OCs you have into the mix! Hell, I did the same thing when posting about Sam. I like to imagine OCs would simply pop up in the background as extras; it also opens up the chance to experiment with the types of curses that populate Tulsa!

I think my only criterion for OCs within the AU is that you don't break away from characters' canon plotlines or their relationships, and don't make them weirdly overpowered. I don't think I need to specify that problematic shit is a no-go. For example, an OC can't interrupt something like Two's jumping or Dally's near-death experience, nor can they do something like impact the familial relationships characters (like Ace, Two, n Dally) have. A curse-related example is that an OC can't be a witch unless they're related to Paul, due to his bloodline being directly tied to the curse's creation. Soc OCs are sort of difficult to go about since they aren't supposed to have curses, but if you'd like to give them one, just keep that and power balance in mind. Things like omnipotence or reality-bending are also off the table due to generally being very overpowered, apologies </3. I'd love to see you guys experiment, though! There might be a few things that don't work with what's currently set in stone (ie; something like a centaur curse wouldn't exist) so don't be afraid to ask if you aren't sure!! Shipping OCs with Canon is where stuff gets a little,, messy. Since a lot of the plot does include focusing on pairings (such as QPR Johnny & Pony, or Darry x Paul) I don't really know how someone could go about doing that while keeping it canon to the AU's plot. I'd definitely recommend waiting to character-ship until I can get our sexualities/relationships listing posted since that'll provide some clarity to what the writers and I think, even though I like to leave stuff up to interpretation. You can draw ship art of your OC's with them if you'd like, but there's a lot of grey area at this time. TLDR: OC's are welcome and, to an extent, canon in the plotline as background and world fillers. I'd love to see how you guys merge your characters in, but avoid OC x Canon for now.

[alexanderwales]

Pitchposting: The Reused Maiden

(Pitchposting is a way to write up an idea that won't get the honor of becoming a story. Free to a good home.)

Like a lot of good ideas, this one was based on me misreading something. The actual thing was rescued maiden, but my brain doesn't read so well without context, so I read reused maiden, and it fired up some neurons.

Our protagonist is a fifth daughter, in a time when that means she would be a burden on her family. In other times, on other worlds, she might be sent off to become a nun or work as a governess in a socially ambiguous position, or maybe even be sent to an asylum if she was "difficult". In this world, there's always some demand for maidens, even if they're a low birth. When a dragon spews fire above a village in his third flyby that month, the village elders take stock of who might be able to allay the dragon's desire for "unspoilt" flesh.

Everyone agrees that it's best that a maiden goes willingly. There are always stories about what happens when a maiden gets taken by a dragon, and before a sacrifice, those stories become unaccountably upbeat. They pretend that no one really knows what a dragon does with a maiden, that perhaps it's not horrible, and sometimes, yes, the maidens do go to their fate willingly.

Our protagonist goes kicking, screaming, and biting. She vows revenge on her father, her mother, her sisters, and everyone in the village. She says, in a rage, that she will kill the fucking dragon herself if she has to. She has no means to get free of her chains, let alone to kill a dragon, but her anger is hot enough to sustain her even as the night grows cold. She howls as though trying to awaken something inside of her.

She doesn't end up saving herself. A knight in shining armor comes and slays the dragon in glorious battle, which our protagonist only learns about later. The knight is not even aware of her existence, only of the tradition, and anyway is mostly after the hoard.

When the death of the dragon is reported and confirmed, some very sheepish village elders come to where our protagonist is still chained to a rock. It would be possible, perhaps, for everyone to forget this whole awful thing had ever happened, but the protagonist's threats are echoing in everyone's ears, and her horrible howling could be heard through the night. There is some question about how much she meant it when she said that she would "fucking kill you bastards with my bare hands if I ever get free".

After some discussion, it is decided that the protagonist can have no place within the village, if only for the safety of the townsfolk. But there are other villages, and while there's no question about releasing her, those other villages have their own problems: sometimes dragons, sometimes spirits, sometimes ancient curses. Our protagonist has been spared a messy death at the talons of a dragon, but now she's in the position of being a commodity.

She's first sold to an intermediary, a mercenary group or a passing wizard or someone else that gets her onto the next place. If you wanted to write this story, here is where you could pivot into being a different sort of thing: maybe her captor only meant to free her, and this is the start of a romance, because every romance loves an inauspicious and problematic start. But if I were writing this story, she would be treated as the commodity that she is, only well enough that she can be sold as good stock to the next party.

And there would be a next party, someone who wants a sacrificial maiden for a different purpose: appeasing a volcano or calling on the power of the ancestors or something like that.

And again, fate conspires for the sacrifice to not go through, and our protagonist is shuttled off to another place where she's to be put to death for some reason or another.

Astute readers will have noticed that our protagonist has a distinct lack of agency here, and is essentially being manhandled from place to place. This is the wonderful thing about pitchposting: I'm not actually writing this story, so don't have to actually solve these problems. I think it's fine for a story to be about a character with no agency, who is constantly struggling and fighting and trying every trick and still winds up at the mercy of a knight in shining armor coming to rescue her for unrelated reasons. Maybe that says something, or maybe stories don't have to say something.

(And maybe she gets saved by the same knight in shining armor, who has been crossing paths with her while entirely ignorant that it's simply been the same maiden across different kingdoms and continents. This is one of those little nuggets that I think is almost worth writing a full book for, a scene where it's revealed that they have, impossibly, been entwined with each other this entire time. A mistreated, reused maiden and a knight so shiningly pure that he's been the lone driving force behind putting down thirteen different evils as he came across them? I think there's something there.)

But there's a different version where perhaps the maiden gets out of the jams on her own, using only her wits. Maybe she meets with the dragon and dupes him into going to the trap the knight in shining armor has set for him. Maybe she gets offered as a cultic sacrifice to a demon, but she'd dragged a toe across their waxen sigils and ruined the summoning to her benefit. She uses her wits, and her bag of tricks, and a few things she picks up along the way. The reused maiden, scraping by every time, narrowly dodging death but always with death on the horizon like an arctic sunset.

I guess my version of this story is about the rage, but it doesn't have to be that. Maybe it can be about sadder things, like being sad about the uses that a society has deemed you fit for, or the inhumanity of humans, or something like that. I don't know how many times you can reuse the same maiden for this story before it gets to be boring or unbelievable or you've just mined out the available space. My guess would be that five is stretching it, so long as they're varied enough, and one of them looks like one of those suspicious happily-ever-afters that seems to be coming two-thirds of the way through a book.

But as an ending, I like the idea that the maiden eventually gets thrust at the feet of an old crone, bound and gagged, but with blood around her mouth where she bit one of the guards (and she has, after all this time, become very good at biting guards). The witch waits until the guards have retreated, then cuts our protagonist free of her bindings, and our wily spitfire of a protagonist probably does attack immediately after that. But once the hostilities are over, the witch asks for the maiden's stories, how many times she escaped death and at whose hands, and they drink tea as they talk.

I mean, obviously the witch was once a maiden too, and she had her own trials and tribulations before making a successful transition to old crone. Maybe we reveal that the witch has been a guiding hand this whole time, except that seems needlessly cruel (but perhaps this works as just one more injustice inflicted on the maiden, another battle to fight). I tend to think endings are important and need to be considered, but they're also very hard. Maybe we can have some cosmic reveal about why this world seems to have endless uses for maidens, but that leans just a little too meta for my current tastes.

Look, I'm not going to write this story, even if this was a longer post than pitchposting is supposed to be. There's a lot to be said about the role of the virgin sacrifice, and there's a lot that's been said, with much of it clumsy. There are needles that I would be worried about threading, particularly with regards to sex and sexual violence, implied or otherwise. The obvious thing to do, if you're a virgin about to be sacrificed for the third time, is to just lose your virginity, which ... certainly is a plot beat, I guess. I'm not sure I'd want to go there, or how I would go there. It's hard not to think of the whole thing as social commentary, which makes it hard not to write it like that.

But I think it would be better being its own thing. I guess if you disagree, you could just write it some other way.

[idolomantises]

talking abt that one thing in velma thats on my mind a lot for the past few days (that turned into a big incoherent rambling about gay rep in media)

i'm seeing jokes about how the queer representation in mystery inc being so much better than the queer representation in velma and honestly it makes me want to go on a whole tangent about my thoughts on queer representation nowadays vs the more subtle examples decades prior.

There's this weird debate that goes on online about what is "good" queer representation, and one of the most notable and honestly annoying examples is that queer representation has to be so subtle that you could easily miss it/ignore it. i've always hated that take because its a claim mostly said by straight people who are uncomfortable with seeing characters who are openly queer and/or state their identity, but they present it as some sort of push for subtle and nuanced writing. personally i do prefer it when a character just, identifies as how they are without explaining their identity, but that doesn't mean flat out explaining your orientation is inherently bad representation. its why i will always defend the very clunky and awkward high guardian spice scene. it is absolutely poorly directed and written, but that doesn't make it "bad representation". however, I do consider the character who explains that he's trans bad representation because he is flat, uninteresting and very clearly a creator self insert. he doesn't feel like a well rounded character who's also a trans man, but just an incredibly sanitized example of trans representation.

i have many, many issues with helluva boss/hazbin hotel and i do genuinely find some depictions of queer characters just flat out offensive (you can argue with me about how angel dust being written like your average 90s gay stereotype is woke actually because he has trauma, i dont care), but i do admire and appreciate that the series doesn't want to sanitize its queer characters, even if its done poorly. though i could go into a whole rant about how i find it very telling that female characters that are queer are far less sexualized or allowed to be problematic compared to their queer male counterparts.

anyways back to velma. that show does something that i've always found pretty irritating in queer representation which is just this weird lack of faith in its audience. characters can't have a slow burn anymore. internalized thoughts, anger, frustration, longing. you have to immediately know that two characters are gay for each other, even if they're lifelong enemies. its like when modern horror movies open with the gore because they're scared people are going to be bored or leave early. there's no subtlety or chemistry between daphne and velma, they're just lovers because idk, its two girls who hate each other and who doesn't love that.

then i think about how mystery inc handled velma and her sexuality, how she was allowed to be well rounded and nuanced before you slowly realize that "oh, she doesn't like boys". i know her whole thing with shaggy is controversial among fans but i always loved how she does do something pretty unlikable but not immoral. yeah, it is shitty to force shaggy to choose between her and his dog, but i can understand her line of thinking and empathize with her. and i do like how they become friends in the end despite their awkward break up. It's always fun rewatching it and realizing that their incredibly awkward and cringe relationship was meant to be awkward and cringe. it was supposed to be weird and difficult to watch, because those two weren't meant to date each other. you could see how hard velma was trying to make the relationship work despite the fact that you never get the vibe that either character was full invested in it, unlike daphne and fred's relationship.

then you had velma and her relationship with marcie, which started off as sort of a catty rivalry (not full on attempted murder, i mean holy shit hbo velma) that slowly grows to where you're completely convinced that these two did gradually like each other. and i do really enjoy stuff like that, more subtle writing like that. which doesn't just apply to queer rep btw, my favorite ships are relationships that feel understated, something you have to really dig for and pay attention to. its why i consider bubbline the best f/f representation in cartoon. because its subtle, but not too subtle where it feels out of no where when they kiss, and nuanced in ways that enhances the relationship AND characters.

there's a good amount of relationships i see in cartoons where the creator, who is usually queer themselves, often wants to depict queer relationships, but is weirdly adverse to depicting the uglier aspects of that character, and refuses to add subtlety to it. steven universe is a show i've always felt conflicted on its handling of queer representation because on the one hand i appreciate writing lesbians that are messy, traumatized and make constant mistakes. but on the other hand, the show goes out of its way to ignore these issues and/or make excuses for it, making the decision to make these characters messy and complicated genuinely baffling (this is also one of the big issues i have with catradora and stolitz).

it makes me think back to my own work too. i really enjoy making fluffy, easily digestible gay content for my followers and myself because it puts me in a good headspace. But even now and then i like exploring those little nuances too, because i don't really enjoy stories with little conflict. Because of that acknowledgement of how satisfying it is to write fluffy, queer rep, you end up putting yourself in other creator's shoes. you're so used to media that either dehumanizes gay people or tells people that they don't exist that you push yourself to make the most in your face queer rep you can but its at the cost of an interesting and subtle characters. characters that don't really have arcs or places to learn and grow.

With bugtopia i made a joke about how i want some of my queer rep to feel like you're being queerbaited. It's not literal, obviously, but mixed in with characters who are already married and in same gender relationships, i really want to write dynamics that feel subtle enough for a bit of a slow burn. even if you know they're going to end up together, to at least value the characters on their own before centering them on their relationships. queerbaiting is something that deserves all the criticism it can get, but it is embarrassing when queerbaiting feels genuinely more interesting than actual queer rep because queerbaiting has that factor of "maybe they won't get together" that adds that bit of intrigue, vs so many shows that repeatedly hammer in your head "don't worry guys, they're gonna be lesbian lovers".

mystery inc (and many other shows) being forced to keep a relationship obvious while subtle to get through censorship really forced creators to be creative with their storytelling and not center characters around their relationship and identity. but nowadays i think shows like to take the easy way out. for me, i always thought the most impactful example of queer representation in steven universe is "Rose's Scabbard". I genuinely don't enjoy that episode because it's a good example of the show thinking that trauma is an excuse for shitty behavior, but i cant deny that an entire episode of pearl breaking down and finally accepting that she wasn't the center of rose's world. it's the crew being forced to be creative and push through censors to telling a compelling story about a traumatized lesbian slowly realizing that she basically deluded herself into thinking she was someone's savior.

I think it's silly to try to place good queer representation in one box. like subtle queer rep is good, but also queer rep where a character flat out states that their gay. where I think it falls apart is when it either reinforces stereotypes without properly deconstructing or expanding on them, makes the characters so overly kind and non-controversial that the relationship is just boring, or try to make your messy and complicated characters but the narrative refuses to hold them accountable or at least acknowledge that they're doing something wrong. and to clarify on that last part, i'm not asking for some hays code nonsense where every bad person goes to prison and/or promises to stop being a bad person again. i mean the narrative doesnt just fucking sugarcoat their behavior. i don't want to see helluva boss ignore the fact that stolas made blitzo call him out for only using him for sex and then pathetically rush to justify their relationship by giving them a bizarrely sanitized and sweet backstory. and i don't want to see catra literally end the fucking universe and only do something good because she's straight up out of options and the show just decides that that was her redemption and she doesn't need to do anything to atone for what she did (including repeatedly abusing and verbally berating adora).

anyways velma has none of those interesting qualities and i'm pretty sure daphne and velma kissed because the creator is a weird pervert who thinks two girls kissing is hot.

[thetardigrape]

Ed and Izzy are Backward

I've been thinking a lot about why S2 of OFMD isn't satisfying, and I think a major part of it is Ed and Izzy's arcs. In short, they're the reverse of what should have been.

Meta with spoilers under the cut.

Ed's deep fear is that he is unlovable. That he is a monster incapable of being loved. This isn't something we only learn in S2, it's set up halfway through S1 in the bathtub scene and then continually reinforced.

Izzy's deep issue is that he thinks there is only one way to succeed as a man/pirate: be scary. Be the scariest, meanest guy around. His issue is compounded by the big problem of him not being that.

Ed's abuse of the crew is a trauma response. It arises from his fear of being unlovable getting kicked into high gear by Stede leaving and then tipping right over into A Real Fucking Problem when Izzy threatens him.

Izzy's abuse of the crew is a character flaw. He sees himself as better than them, and treats the badly because he views that as the only Right Way to Be A Pirate/Man.

Yet Izzy is given unconditional love and acceptance by the crew without ever apologizing for his behavior, while Ed is made to degrade himself for their forgiveness. Ed is cast into the role of Problematic Community Member Who Doesn't Actually Apologize, even though it's not set up that he's treating his crew like shit because he thinks that's how the world works. Again, that person is Izzy.

And then Izzy on his deathbed tells Ed he has a family and the crew love him, even though we've seen absolutely no evidence of that all season. The crew exiled him, and seem to have let him back only conditionally and at Stede's behest. That's not love, that's grudging acceptance.

Imagine, instead, a season in which the crew recognize that something is really wrong with Ed, and reach out to him despite him treating them badly. Imagine him learning that he's lovable, not just by one person who broke his heart, but by an entire crew who care about him at his worst moments. Imagine Ed receiving the grace extended to Izzy, and being healed by it without needing everything good in his life to come from Stede.

Imagine Izzy realizing that the way he viewed the world isn't actually how it works. Imagine Kraken Ed actually being worse at piracy because he's too depressed to think or plan or care when things go wrong. Imagine Izzy's moment of clarity coming not because Ed was too scary but because Izzy learned that being a miserable angry cunt actually makes it difficult to be successful at anything. Imagine Izzy apologizing to Ed for treating him badly without having to die about it. Imagine that being a factor in Ed's healing, understanding that Izzy loves him even if he does it in a fucked up, broken way, and loving him back. Imagine Izzy realizing that Ed's softness is important to his success the same way Auntie realizes it about ZYS, and in so doing understanding why Ed needs Stede.

One character needed acceptance and compassion and the knowledge that he was loved, and one character needed to learn that other people's feelings matter and that forgiveness isn't given until you show you've changed. The show just fumbled which was which.

[mr-writerman]

Sick Danganronpa Boys Being Taken Care of by a Kindhearted Reader ☆

category: short read, friends to lovers, lighthearted, fluff, genderneutral reader, pre-relationship a/n: yall ATE UP the last hc post I did so take another one :D characters: Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu, Byakuya Togami, Gonta Gokuhara, Kiyotaka Ishimaru

Fuyohiko really didn't want to admit that he was sick---he hated being sick, in general. His already rosy-cheeked face was even redder, and his sneeze...he sneezes like a baby panda.

He stayed home, and asked you to come over---when you arrived, his family and bodyguards were just a bit overwhelming. Apparently, they've dealt with multiple assassination attempts on Fuyohiko, so they're very, very, very apprehensive with you.

Fuyohiko, surprisingly, was very willing to accept your help. His guards watched you like a hawk, while you made him some Chicken Noodle soup. They very directly told you they expected you to poison it.

He was surprised when you gave him the soup---he didn't expect you to be a good cook. You stayed with him for a few hours, and his family was weary of you the entire time. But, at least you and Fuyohiko got a little bit closer.

Byakuya stayed home, and refused any help at first. You convinced the guards at his mansion to let you in (by lying, of course), and broke into his room. You layed him down, despite his protests. He physically couldn't stop you from helping, so he begrudgingly accepted.

You tried to cook for him, but his chefs refused to allow you into the kitchen. They were working on a full three-course meal for him. When you looked at the food they were preparing, you realized Byakuya would probably hate all the food they were making. So, instead, you snuck him a cup of his favorite drink, Kopi Luak Coffee. It actually helped him with his headache.

After a while of you staying over, Byakuya subtly asked you to stay for dinner. You were beyond excited to receive an invite from Byakuya, but he swore up and down that he was simply requesting your services, nothing more. We all know it was something more.

Gonta got stung by a poisonous bug, and was a bit ashamed to tell you. He loved bugs so much, he didn't want you to blame them for him being sick. But, the toxins really messed him up.

You asked if you could go over to his house to take care of him, but when you got there, it turns out he really wasn't lying about living in the woods.

You tried cooking him food, but it proved fairly difficult to cook on a campfire. You ended up ordering food, and met the delivery guy at the edge of the woods. He looked terrified, but at least you got Gonta some food!

At the end of the night, you and Gonta snuggled and gazed at the stars. There were bugs all over you guys, but for Gonta's sake, you powered through it. You guys got a lot closer, after that night.

Taka hated missing days for school---he had never missed a day. But, when his fever basically disabled him, he had to stay home. You took this as an opportunity to help him out.

Taka's house was a lot smaller than you expected. His grandfather was once the Prime Minister of Japan, so you just expected him to be rich. But, it wasn't an issue to you.

You made him some food, and while you were, you met his father, Takaaki Ishimaru. He was a bit on the colder side, but you realized he was just shy. He was very sweet, though, even offering to help you cook.

Taka refused to allow you to stay over, as it would be "problematic." He did allow you to give him a hug (shockingly) before you left. You thanked him and his father for allowing you to stay so long, and left. The next day, Taka left a copy of his favorite movie 'Adorable Reactions Collection' on your desk, and a lengthy thank you note. It's a very weird and kinda boring movie, but you're just happy to see him opening up more.

[wenellyb]

Being black in fandom can be difficult. Every last fandom that I've joined this year has issues with racism. It's annoying. Seeing people use racism in ship/stan wars while being racist/anti-black is frustrating. It's probably not healthy but I tend to assume actors and celebs are all a bit problematic until I see proof of otherwise. Also a lot of times I just won't look into actors or celebs outside of the project I seen them in because I don't want to ruin things for myself. That's kinda how I approach 9-1-1.

"And why are Lou Ferrigno Jr stans acting like anyone who's brings out Lou's past posts is a hater and just wants to "ruin his career" because of a ship."

Probably because a lot of them are? Certain fans hated Lou first because his character got in the way of a ship and then they went on a hunt to find a more legitimate reason to hate him and they found his old posts. Many of these fans going around talking about how problematic Lou is because of his old posts are silent about Ryan's current problematic posts and that's how you can tell that a lot of these fans don't actually care about real issues and that they're bringing up Lou's past posts because of a ship.

Some of these fans do want to ruin Lou and his career over a ship. Some of them have said it. Some of them have said they want him gone. It's why they harassed him and then celebrated when he stopped doing cameos and stopped posting on twitter as much. Of course Lou's stans are sensitive to this so anytime fans bring up his past posts a lot of his stans start trying to defend him, probably because they assume that people bringing it up are just haters and not fans of his with legit criticism.

Hi Anon!!! It's exhausting!

Of course there are people instrumentalizing Tommy's past ou Lou Ferrigno's Jr instagram posts to justify hating on the Bucktommy ship, as you explained, but there are people who genuinely had a problem with his racist behavior and can't get over it, which is very legitimate.

Everything you said is correct, and I hear you.

But to be honest, all the posts saying that Hen and Chimney being friendly to Tommy is evidence that he wasn't racist give me "I can't be racist I have a Black friend vibes".

These kind of posts frustrate me to no end. Or when they say Hen and Chimney forgave Tommy why wouldn't you??? Why? Why is he owed forgiveness, when he didn't even acknowledge or apologize for his past behavior? Even then he wouldn't be "owed" forgiveness.

The coworker who's too shy, polite or afraid to lose their job to call out your racist behavior, doesn't approve your behavior. I'm not saying that's what happened with Hen and Chimney but the people acting like Hen and Chimney being civil with Tommy while they were working together is evidence he wasn't racist is frustrating.

It is exhausting, and frustrating and I thought I would be able to relax and enjoy the fandom once I blocked all the toxic Buddie stans, but it looks like I'll have to start blocking some Bucktommy shippers too. Some people always take shipping way too far.

I agree with you but I'm still annoyed and honestly I hate when stans like this start making me hate a character I used to like because of their own behavior. I know you were only talking about Lou Ferrigno Jr, but I derailed and included a discussion about Tommy, sorry.

[msmargaretmurry]

but what if i want to hear about the similarities between how ovi is written in sid/ovi fic and how leon is written in some matthew/leon fic

hello from fully three weeks later i am finally answering this, sorry to you and the anons who asked about it after i posted my sid/ovi thoughts for that ship meme 500 years ago. (also maybe helpful reading are my extended thoughts on how the ovi media narratives played into all that.)

disclaimer that i am absolutely not saying that ALL matthew/leon fic is like this because it very much is not (and i'm sure not all sid/ovi fic is like this either, i haven't looked at what's going on in that pairing tag for probably like a decade). i'm also not at all trying to call anyone out or say they're writing fic "wrong" or suggest they're wrong for enjoying these types of narratives. truly people can do what they want with their own fanfiction. i'm just speaking to general trends i've personally observed and find interesting!

the comparison here obviously arises from how we have two rivalry pairings of a north american anglophone character and a european character, who are pitted against each other by a combination of regional rivalry and media narratives. so it's totally understandable that this would lead to some similar themes/plots/etc/whatever.

what immediately stood out to me when i started reading matthew/leon fic was the tendency of a lot of the fic to center the experiences and feelings of the north american anglophone character—usually being from their pov—while the foreign character is treated with less nuance, often embodies some light stereotypes, and kind of serves as the reward the anglo character gets in exchange for his troubles. i think of this as the "x derserves a nice thing and y is a nice thing" story and it is definitely not limited to these pairings, but it is pretty prevalent.

like i don't think anyone would argue that there is a LOT of woobification of matthew in fic for this pairing (especially in the "keith's a+ parenting" subgenre), and much less so of leon. and honestly i don't think there's anything wrong with indulging in a little bit of woobification — i don't even think there's anything wrong with inventing difficult family situations for your woobified guy to be saved from (as long as you stay aware that you are making shit up and don't imagine abusiveness onto real-life people, obviously). a lot of people, especially young people, use fic to work through their feelings about those types of situations, and also fiction is allowed to be personal fantasy and it's allowed to be problematic, don't like don't read, etc, whatever. this post isn't here to fight that fight, lmao. anyway!

it's not a one-to-one comparison (they are all different people, obvs, and among other things sid's canadian hockey savior archetype is quite different from matthew's bratty american archetype), but the point is that to me that the centering of matthew's experiences and feelings while leon is kind of relegated to the role of hot european rival who unexpectedly saves our boy from his suffering/is the nice thing our suffering boy deserves feels SO similar to sid/ovi fic centering sid's experiences and feelings while ovi played a similar role (except with way more emphasis on his russian-ness, honestly i feel like the russian stereotyping was worse than the german stereotyping is now). i feel like you can also see this when fics emphasize behavoiors associated with negative stereotypes — e.g. ovi getting a kind of "sexy caveman" treatment, leon being characterized as overly rude or abrasive (as opposed to, like, self-admittedly sometimes grumpy and abrupt as facets of his larger, nuanced personality).

part of this obviously is just a inherent fanfiction thing. people love tropes and archtypes, they see these tropes and archtypes and they just run with them without thinking to hard about it. and i also understand how anglophone north american characters might seem more accessible as both pov guys and vessels for fantasy from a fanbase that is largely anglophone north american. like i said, i'm not trying to call people out or anything. but i do think the parallels are SUPER interesting and speak to the ways that we, hrpf fandom as a larger whole, engaging with hockey in transformative ways, are so very deeply NOT immune to the way the media and our sociocultural contexts shape our thoughts about players and teams and narratives in an often overwhelmingly north-american-centric and anglo-centric way. and that is worth thinking about!

"but becky," you might be saying, "doesn't haw engage in a lot of the things you just described?" well — yeah kinda! first of all, when i say WE are not immune, i very much include myself in that! but also, haw was an attempt by me to kind of interrogate and/or subvert those things (although i'm not sure how well i succeeded, lol). the story was borne out of my experience reading several "matthew deserves a nice thing and leon is a nice thing"-type fics and deciding that i would really like to read a story that was more like "maybe matthew DOESN'T really ~deserve a nice thing~ because he's just constantly creating his own problems, but in the end, after a long character journey, he accepts that he deserves love anyway. because he's a person and people deserve love." like, matthew in haw sees leon at first as this rude and abrasive guy — but that's not who leon actually is. matthew in haw has a complicated and kinda strained relationship with his dad — because of the mental place he's spiraled into, not because his dad doesn't love him. etc etc.

like i said, who knows how well i succeeded at actually subverting/interrogating that stuff. maybe i didn't at all 😂 but i wanted to mention it as a hopefully helpful example of how thinking about all this can expand one's fanfiction horizons, not limit them.

okay i think that's all i have. once again this is really not targeted at anyone specific or meant to make anyone feel bad or wrong. just something i noticed that i found really interesting and that i think is worth thinking about!