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siddyyyyyyyy · 29 days

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You're Only Sixteen

wc: 4.7 K

summary: child soldier joins taskforce 141, part SIX; one, two, three, four, five; seven

warnings: violence, description of a panic attack, description of an injury, death, nightmares

a/n: this part is probably a little more chaotic, but I tried to make it make sense. next part is going to be the final one! Hope you enjoy it!

Once all geared up, it‘s time to jump into the vehicle and drive to your old camp. From time to time, you feel a burst of slight anxiousness and anticipation, recognising some specific places as you sit in the back of the truck beside Farah. You still have doubts in the back of your mind, quietly contemplating while taking in the surroundings.

Riley sits by Ghost in between his legs, tongue sticking out while getting small back rubs from his owner. She was imported later on as you got your equipments, now being on the mission with the rest. Farah‘s team is with another vehicle, creating a line of a total of four trucks.

»Building‘s in sight. Three armed guards at the entrance, two on the roof.«

Price informs as he looks through a pair of binoculares.

»They usually have more guards inside, also taking guard. Probably about four.«

You add, getting a brief nod back from Price as the rest takes the information in. He sits back on the passanger seat as one of Farah‘s men drive, stopping by an edge of a small cliff. The camp is about 1.5 miles away from your current position, taking a deep breath, you look at it from this perspective. It feels wrong to stand here, getting a brief feeling of getting into trouble before Ghost speaks up. He commands Riley to stick close to him, the dog staying by his left foot as he checks his rifle again.

You all pair up, being together with Farah and are now getting to a high and well hidden spot to set up your sniper rifles quickly. Ghost and Soap also make their way silently, making sure they don‘t get spotted by any of the guards as they approach the building. Gaz and Price are a few feet behind them, about to keep watch for them and the guards.

It seems to go as planned for now, being as calm as possible beside Farah. Rifles are set up and you lay flat on your stomach, looking through the lense of the gun to mark the positions of the guards, and informing the rest over the comms of the progress.

There are indeed more guards than what it looked like at first, actually being a little surprised about it. Usually, they had about four guards looking for any unwanted guests around the small base, trying to figure out why they have more today. Did the know about this? A secret tracker?

You check your clothes for any potential trackersor mics, but it‘s imppossible since you changed your clothes regurarly and would‘ve noticed it way earlier. Sighing out, you get back to watching the guards stands or walk around the ground.

»Getting paranoid?« You don‘t bother looking beside you to Farah as she is busy with some equipment, probably measuring some more stuff.

»Never.« There‘s no need for an honest response, being sarcastic about it even, which earns a small huff from your right. She glances towards you while you focus on watching the guards.

»Something that‘s got your attention, then?«

You answer with a small grunt, not seeing much but the guards being seemingly oblivious to your presence.

»Why don‘t they have comms? Do they all go around without even a walkie talkie?«

You ask yourself as you keep your eyes on one of the guards, him just standing stoicely as he stares at nothing in particular. Farah looks through her own pair of binoculares, also noticing it.

»This is even better. How did they manage to train children when they‘re so uncareful?«

She mumbles back rather thoughtfully, making you shift in your position a little.

»Fear. And I don‘t think they are this unorganised.«

You answer back, really just assuming, but having been there for almost ten years made you overhear and see things you probably shouldn‘t have. Gaz speaks through the comms, making you concentrate on the actual mission again.

»Bravo-6, at your sign.«

You and Farah settle on the guards at the roof top, taking the one on the left while Farah aims for the second one.

A sharp shot goes through the air and you follow, taking out the two guards on the top with your teammate with a scary accuracy. The remaining guard is alerted immediatly and go inside, probably about to inform the ones inside about the shooting.

Now it needs to be quick and even more efficient. You both make your way down to the building and take your hand gun out, on high alert now. Farah gets in front of you and you follow her, seeing Ghost and Soap already being inside the entry as they fight the last four gaurds to ground, being stealthy as they do so. Riley takes out the last guard on her own, biting at his neck until he becomes limp.

It‘s the first time you actually feel thankful for the camp. Thank any God up or down that they are stupid enough to not have any communications on them. Hopefully they don‘t have any alarms around as well. Not that you ever experienced one in your time of being there.

You two change positions with Price and Gaz, them going forward to join the other pair instead. It‘s getting closer and more real, you know it‘s about a few minutes before you join them and lead the way to the directors room. Sighing out softly, you take a hiding spot behind one of vehicles and watch, waiting for a sign to join them inside.

Ghost and Soap currently make their way fully inside, checking for anyone before they enter the security room to cut off the cameras. Soap makes some pictures for evidence, taking some photos of the entrance, making sure the small camera stays secured in one of his pant pockets.

They exchange a few words over the comms, listening intently while keeping a close eye on your surroundings. It seems like most of them seem to be training right now, and by the current time, it‘s very likely. It is convinient, being able to get in as the soldiers are distracted and the superiors train them or have some meaningless meetings.

After what felt like too intense moments of silence, Ghost speaks up, telling it‘s clear now that the cameras are cut off. Just in case, they import all the camera footage into an extra USB-stick before continuing. Riley stays by their side, sniffing at the air a bit.

Finally, the other pair and you can go in, forming your team whole again to get to the directors room. You have an uneasy feeling but ignore it, rolling your shoulders to release some tension. Once you got inside, the taskforce is already there just by the entrance, Price nodding to you. Without wasting any more time, you lead the way up the stairs, the rest following behind. You all sweep each floor, reaching the third and last one.

»Down the hallway, on the right. I think they‘re having a meeting since we didn‘t see any of them around.«

You briefly state before Price gets to the front again, making you stand behind one of the others. For some reason, you feel the need to be at Price‘s place, as if you should be the one to storm in. This is all too familiar. As if it happened before already. The room you‘re about to enter is full with your superiors and commanders, being still slightly intimidated by them.

But before you could say something, Price kicks the door down and storms down, pulling as soon as one of them draw their gun at him. Fortunately no one dares to draw their gun again as the rest of you storms in quickly, pointing your barrels at them.

The room is tense while Price shouts orders at them, the few old men in the room slowly moving as the follow his commands and get to the floor with their hands raised. You watch carefully, eyes flicking to each of them at the same time to make sure none of them try funny tricks.

It seems to be without any success as one of them – one of the younger ones – draws his gun at you, being frozen in place. The rest of the commanders seem even more surprised as they recognise you, Ghost covering you quicker than you could comprehend what‘s happening, and takes the threat down. He falls limp to the ground, the room filling with Riley‘s barking and growls at the men.

Before it gets too much, Price sends and Soap quickly put handcuffs on the remaining few men, taking them by their arms harshly to get them outside. You get informations from Farah and Alex that they are currently rescuing the rest of the children, getting more vehicles for them. You get orders to sweep the remaining hallways and rooms with Gaz for any children that were left out, leading the way again.

You sweep the third floor as the others go out of the building to get the enemies out and safely into a vehicle. The third floor seems to be clean, going down stairs to check for the other rooms in the second. Time moves fast and before you know it, you are both back in the first floor and continue the search. It seemed clean of children for now, being done with all the rooms and getting to where the K9‘s should be. An uncomfortable shiver runs down your spine and Gaz seems to sense it, glancing to you.

»You alrigh‘, Bane?« You exhale shakily and steady your rifle in your arms, hoping the dogs are caged in. With a small nod, you both move forward and Gaz follows you, being more alert.

You get the door open, trying to be as silent and careful as possible, but the dogs had sensed your scent already. They start to bark and you try to stay composed and calm, it not working as one of them charges at the barely open door. You flinch and try to move away as fast as possible, but the aggressive Rottweiler is faster and has way more anger. The dog catches your ankle in its teeth and roughly shakes his head, growling dangerously at you. Drool drips from its mouth, making the scene even more revolting.

Gaz acts quickly and shoots it down, taking you away from the door to close it before another one comes at your way. It all happened so fast, you couldn‘t even scream or fullly process what happens before it happened.

You take a step to lean against the wall, your mind reeling. It‘s difficult to from a straight thought, vision getting blurry while you attempt to examine your ankle. Your teammate is quick to be by your side, helping you stand upright with his arm under your shoulders. He says or asks something, but you can‘t hear him. You want to cry, but you don‘t want to show him that you‘re in pain.

He senses in how much fear and panic you are, cursing under his breath as he tries again.

»Bane! Can you hear me? You need to focus, can you look at me?«

You don‘t respond once again but you do look at him briefly. You look as pale as the wall behind you, breathing shallowy. There is a tightness in your throat and chest, and you are unsure of what to do. Gaz has never seen you this panicked before. Kyle is helpless for a moment too, before he tags you along the hallway, relieved you are both on the first floor right now and don‘t need to walk a lot.

He supports your weight and makes sure you don‘t put pressure on your injured ankle, blood trailing on the floor from your wound as you limp to the exit.

It feels surreal and you finally get why you‘ve been feeling so strange. All the time, you‘d been having some kind of déjà vu.

You don‘t know how or when you got to one of the vehicles, Soap quickly coming to you free side to support you. There are no medics in sight, but Farah quickly gets her med kit out. She hasn‘t seen your injury yet, but seeing you limping like that is enough to set her instincts flying. Alex tries to calm her down in some way, seeing how frantic her movements are.

They set you down to sit on the ground, Farah being by your side in no time and examines the bite wound briefly. She rolls your pants up just enough to take a better look at the bite, having no time to clean the blood as it‘s gushing from it. The procedure feels even more painful than the actual bite, but you sit through, a few grunts and winces escaping from you. The team gave you some space as she treats your, doing it as efficient and fast as possible.

The wound is finally wrapped up, but the pain seems to get worse by the second. It burns and stings, also feeling as if your ankle is getting squeezed by something really strong. You notice just then that your cheeks are wet, wiping at them to realise you cried either during the treatment or while Gaz carried you out. Either way, you still need a few moments to calm down.

Farah exhales and pulls you into a hug, your resolve finally breaking. All it took was a stupid dog biting your ankle and a strong embrace after stopping the bleeding.

You don‘t want to cry or show any signs of vulnerableness, but it‘s too late. Right now, you don‘t care if someone is laughing at you for crying or hugging Farah back, her words finally coming through.

»I‘ve got you, okay? It‘s done. I‘m here.«

She whispers while rubbing your back, feeling her heart clench at your sobs. Seeing those poor soldiers that she just escorted from their ‚training‘ and seeing you injured made herself crumble and wish she could undo any pain you‘re feeling right now.

Finally, the air seems to et easier through your nose and lungs, your grip on her loosening as your face is still burried in her shoulder. She doesn‘t let go though and waits until you‘ve calmed down completely. It takes a few deeper breaths for you to calm down, letting go of her eventually which makes her let go as well.

It‘s embarrassing now, wiping at your eyes and cheeks with trembling hands. Your ankle has now a dull ache, feeling a faint heartbeat that makes you uncomfortable once more.

Ghost tries to hold Riley back, not wanting for you to feel scared again or have another possible panic attack.

You hear a dog bark from a short distance, turning your head just to find Riley barking at something. It seems to be nothing, but it soon turns out that there are a group of unfamiliar vehicles approaching you. The trucks are dusty and dirty, probably not having been used for some time, but you recognise them. It doesn‘t take long for the rest to get who it is, quickly making sure the children are escorted safely before you make your way out of the area as well.

You scramble yourself back up on your feet, ignoring the stinging pain it gives you when you put pressure onto it. The other vehicles approach fast, the soldiers at the back pointing their guns at your group already and starting to fire.

Your team gathers quickly again, feeling how an arm is slung over you, before you are carried towards your own trucks, realising that Soap just swept you off your feet and slung you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. You are seated back on one of the seats in the back beside him, seeing how he points his own gun to the enemies and starts firing.

»Giv‘ me a hand, kid?«

He shouts through the loud sounds of the firearms and the truck speeding off, needing to make sure you don‘t accidently fall out of it.

You don‘t think too much and reload your own rifle before starting to shoot after getting some position in which you won‘t fall out from. There‘s a small but noticable metallic thud that you hear, looking beside you to see a grenade laying between you and Soap. Without thinking, you grab it and throw it back, it exploding right before the vehicle of the enemies, which makes one of their tires to pop, and send the vehicle to crash.

One down.

»Good job, kid! Only two more to go.« Soap praises briefly before the next vehicle is in close enough range to fire at them, trying to aim for the driver. If only these stupid roads weren‘t so bumpy, you could actually land some decent shots. But they only seem to damage to windshield and not go straight through the glass, also getting annoyed at how bad the rest of the soldiers in the truck aim at you both.

With a low curse, you grab your own grenade and throw it to the vehicle in front of you, hoping it will do the same like the last one. It manages to hit the glass and punch right through it, exploding only a second after inside the vehicle. The driver is most likely done for and the truck loses its control, it flaming up as it drives off to the side and crashes.

There‘s not enough time to praise or express some proudness of your stragedy since the last vehicle seems to be the most stubborn one.

They seem to have some kind of machine gun that they point towards you, ducking quickly to avoid getting genuinely mauled by it.

»Drive faster, will ye! Why don‘t we have more explosives with us?!«

Soap curses at the driver which turns out to be Price at the drivers seat. He speaks through the comms to you, speeding up to full capacity to try and escape the enemy.

»We have ‘em! Use your eyes!«

The captains rough voice sounds through the comms and you are already searching for any of these things he just told you the truck has, just now seeing the case that looks useful. With quick hands, you muster the lid open and Soap is already pulling out a grenade launcher and pointing the heavy thing towads the other vehicle.

After two satisfying clicks, the machine gun the other team used is broken, now pointing at one of the wheels to get it down. It crashes down finally, some pathetic attempts of controlling the big vehicle are useless as it catches fire like the last one. You drive off the scene, being slightly startled of an explosion. The second truck you put down just exploded.

A stabbing pain catches your attention, looking dwn to your ankle again. Oh, right… you were bitten by big dog just a moment ago. The bandages around your ankle are still tight, some blood haven seeped through while you were defeating the last few enemies with Soap together.

The man beside you notices how you seem to be concerned about something and finally sits down normally besides you, even when it‘s still a little inconvinient at the back of the truck.

»Still achin‘?«

You pull your legs closer to yourself, trying to put it into an easy position.

»Dumb question, must be hell after fighting those guys.« He answers his own question at how careful you move. That raises Gaz‘s attention as he is in a vehicle with Farah and Alex, talking through the comms.

»How‘s Bane? Is the leg still on?« His voice goes through your earpieces, being forced to reply to it. You wouldn‘t want anyone worrying over you for no reason.

»It‘s there, in one piece. Could be worse.«

You answer back and sigh out exhausted, really wanting to just be somewhere safe and alone. This mission was really draining.

The rest of the drive was mostly silent, only hearing some brief comments from Your teammates as they talk among themselves from time to time. Once you arrrive at the base, you feel relieved. For most of the time you have been zoning out and thinking about other stuff, not sure how the rest will go on from now.

Soap helps you get out of from the truck, leaning against him to not put any weight on your injured ankle. Farah makes sure to get the bad guys out and into another vehicle to drive them to a cell, saving the interrogation for later.

Ghost keeps Riley close by, still careful not to let the K9 too close for your comfort. By now you feel much more calm and collected, even though everything still feels a little weird. Soap offers you to sit down but you decline, settling on using him as your support. He doesn‘t seem to have anything against it, his arm staying around your shoulders to make sure you don‘t fall or lose blance.

»What do you know about the dogs back there?« Price asks once he is back in front of you, getting the feeling that these couple of bastards hide something more.

You briefly explain what you know, it being the same things you told Ghost before. Their K9‘s having been ‚trained‘ to be more aggressive and bite everything that moves, not able to recognise what‘s actually a threat. The captian nods and processes the new information, hoping to finally get to the bottom of this soon enough to put them into their deserved cell. If not the Gulag even.

After finding out some more stuff, Farah gets to your team again, Alex taking some care of the people they are escorting to a temporary place to spend some nights in before they figure things out.

She sees you leaning against Soap, him having a supportive arm around your shoulder to give you a little more balance.

»Why are you standing here? Get inside and rest. You all know you‘re welcome here.« Farah scolds lightly as she sticks by your side and guides you both to a tent, telling some nurses what had happened for them to take care of you. Soap settles you down with a small frown before he gets back to the rest, petting Riley to have something to busy his hands with for now.

The nurses take good care of you, even offering you a small lollipop after the treatment. You accept it, noticing it‘s cherry flavoured. What a coincidence.

Your ankle had been bitten by the dog pretty hard, the way he shook his head had caused for your skin to have gone off quite a lot at the area he bit down. Luckily, you didn‘t bleed too much. The nurses told you to leave the bandage on and change it every night. It‘s obvious this will leave a messy scar, having gained another against your will.

The sweet flavour of the lollipop has helped with your thoughts though, staying seated on an extra bed while you quietly think to yourself. Finally, Price finds you and helps you up to leave back to your own base. Nikolai is already waiting by his helicopter, helping the others with the loading of your equipment. The sun is setting, it actually being almost nine in the evening by now. The mission had really taken a toll on you. Both emotionally and physically.

You get seated inside the helicopter, not being allowed with the loading this time. Riley gets a seperate transport again, meaning that Ghost won‘t need to restrain her from trotting over you happily while you‘re still clearly exhausted.

It‘s dark when they got finished with the task, settling inside afterwards. Once again, Soap settles beside you while Kyle takes a seat at your left side and the other two settle in front of you.

You don‘t bother putting your headset on though and straight up lean your head against Kyle‘s shoulder to relax in some kind of way. Nikolai puts on some music on once more, making sure it isn‘t as loud as the last time and flies you all back to your base.

After a short nap, you wake up to the rest talking among each other.

»Nik- we have plenty of MRE‘s in here, we don‘t need to stop by--«

You can hear Price argue as quietly as possible so not to wake you up, barely making out what they‘re saying at the moment.

A loud groan interrupts the captains voice, seemingly still not happy and stubborn to get his idea across. Soap mentions for you to put your headset back on, having a more amused look on his face. Once you wear it again, the rest notices and Nik lights up in excitement.

»Oh, awake? Do you know Mcdonald‘s? We should stop by and get us someting, don‘t you think so?«

»Who‘s McDonald‘s?« You ask back confused, still being slightly groggy from your short nap. Well, the nap that lasted almost an hour. A short silence follows after your confused question, while Price stands next to Nik in the cockpit, seemingly giving him puppy eyes to coax him into stopping by the fast food restaurant.

»No, Nik-« price gets interrupted again and the vehicle take a turn, making you a bit surprised.

»My heli, my rules.« Are the last words before he lands in a rather secluded area, not seeing anything beside darkness and a forest.

You can hear a mischivious laugh from the pilot before he gets off his seat and takes his wallet with him. Without any further discussion, Soap follows, having seemingly been on the same side as Nikolai. Price groans quietly but follows them to the fast food chain that shouldn‘t be too far off. »You do know this is going to the report?« He grumbles while walking beside him, soon being too far away to hear any of their bickering.

Kyle leans back in his seat once more, it being silent for a moment with just you three being inside for now. They return after some longer moments, them carrying smaller bags with them.

Soap hands you a happy meal and a capri sun, being a little surprised about it, but appreciated it. The rest gets whatever they ordered for themselves, Ghost not having ordered anything for himself this time. You try out the food they brought you, quietly enjyoing the chicken nuggets beside your teammates as you are all eating together and continue your way back to the base.

The rest of the flight goes by rather silent and peaceful for now, no longer antics or loud music playing in the background. You manage to fall asleep again, laying against Soap‘s shoulder this time.

Unfortunately, a nightmare plagues you, and you consider just never sleeping again with the amount of nightmares you still get, even with a nice company like them.

»I want to storm in! It‘s only fair, you always get to enter first.«

The very familiar voice pleads as she gets in front of you, making you smile slightly.

»Because I am the first in command. You shouldn‘t go in first, Halime.«

The conversation becomes more blurred and fast forward, getting in front of the door that leads to the basement, needing to get one last thing before finally going back to your dorm.

She somehow managed to change your opinion and enter first, not even realising what‘s happening first before her figure sags down and becomes limp.

You have no choice but to take out the hiding enemies out first and then tend to your close teammate, seeing how lifeless her eyes already look like. It‘s scary and the basement seems to shrink itself around you, the body in your arms slowly vanishing until she fully disappears and you see nothing but darkness.

There‘s a loud rumble waking you up from the unpleasant flashback, feeling a migraine form around your head. It seems like you landed just now, it being lighter outside again.

With a small sigh, you gather yourself up and leave with the rest, determined to not get any help on walking this time.

Riley arrives just a few hours later, not able to see her for now after the short debrief your team had, currently having to stay in your bed and rest. Even when you feel restless and even worse after that grueling nightmare, there isn‘t much you can do but stay in your bed and try to sketch something, having no energy to do so however.

a/n: again, next part is the final one, i will try to make the most out of it :3

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skipper1331 · 1 year

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Forced Break-Up // Alessia Russo

Today was the day, you would meet Alessias family for the first time. To say you were nervous was an understatement. You were terrified.

Alessia and you haven‘t been a couple for long but Alessia still wanted to introduce you to the her parents and brothers. You were important to her and her family as well, so why don‘t introduce you?

Lessi, the charmer she is, picked you up at your house. Because she didn‘t have a driver‘s license yet she came by bus. And that‘s also the way you got to her house. When you sat in the bus she held your hand while tracing patterns on it. She could sense that you were nervous. "They‘re gonna love you, baby" she assured you. The pet names came only recently and they made you feel really special but it didn‘t help in that moment. You were gripping her hand so hard that at some point during the bus ride Alessia had to say something. "I‘m sorry. I‘m sorry!" you quickly apologized. "It‘s okay" she whispered in your ear as she pulled you into her side. "My mom has been dying to meet you." her voice low, your head on her shoulder, more on her chest. "You‘re making me happy, okay? That‘s all they care about" you nodded weakly. You have never been this nervous in your life, it scared you. All you wanted to do was to impress her parents and show them that you‘re worthy.

Standing at the door, you gathered all your courage. You could do this. "You ready, amore?" Again you gave her a nod but this time with more confidence. She pulled her key out of her jacket and unlocked the door. "We‘re here!" Alessia shouted. Immediately her mother greeted you both. "It‘s nice to meet you, Mrs. Russo" you said while holding out your hand for her to shake. Her brothers and father now also there. "Alessia! What did you tell her?" her mom joked. "I‘m Carol and i like hugs" she grinned as she hugged you. After the hug Alessia took your hand again and introduced you to the men. "This is my dad, Mario, this is Gio and this is Luca" she explained. "It‘s ni-" you held out your hand just to be rejected not only from her dad but also her brothers. "For you, it’s Mr. Russo!" All your confidence was vanished away. Alessia looked at her mom, questioning with her eyes why they‘re being so mean to you.

There was an awkward silence. "Let‘s take a seat in the dining room, dinner is almost ready" her mom then broke silence, thankfully. "Is there anything I can help you with, Carol?" you asked, hoping there was something. You didn‘t want to be in a room with all those men. They were intimidating you. "Oh no, sweetie, take a seat." Alessia guided you to your seat and sat next to you. "So Y/n, what do you do for living?" Luca asked, eyeing you skeptically. "Well, i still go to school but after school I work as a waitress in a café" her dad wanted to say something but like on cue her mom came with the food. It looked amazing yet you didn‘t say anything.

"Which café?" the other brother asked. "The one next to the library."

"Do you do any sports?" her dad asked in harsh voice.

"No…" you answered while looking at your plate. You felt unwelcome and just wanted to leave. Her dad rolled his eyes at you, not approving that you didn‘t do any sport. Alessia felt your discomfort and didn‘t understand why they all (besides her mom) acted like idiots. "Y/n is really good at playing the piano" Alessia added. She wished some tension would be eased but her dad had other plans. "Pff, music won‘t get her anywhere"

"Dad!" Alessia dropped her fork on her plate. What the hell was he saying?!

The whole dinner the men were disrespectful to you and didn‘t appreciate nor approve anything you said. The only one trying was her mom and still you were always interrupted in your attempt to answer.

Shortly after dinner, you decided that you wanted to leave. You no longer wanted to be in the house where you were apparently unwelcome. "I should go" you said when you were interrupted again. Alessia couldn‘t even argue. She understood why you wanted to leave and honestly If she had been in your place, she would have left as soon as possible. "I‘ll take you to the door" Alessia replied. "It was nice to meet you" everybody could hear you yet your statement was only directed to Carol.

"I‘m sorry. I don’t know why they‘re being like this" you didn‘t reply, you had no energy left. All her family (not her mom) did was to insult you and hurt you. You gave her a peck on the cheek, not longer than a second, and left. The last thing you heard from the italian was 'message me when you get home'. On your whole journey home you thought about the dinner. You've been thinking about all sorts of things: maybe they just had a bad day or maybe you were just the problem.

"What is wrong with you?!" Alessia shouted at her family. "Alessia-" her mom started "No, mom! The one time i bring someone home and then this!" she was furious. She wanted it to be perfect. She wanted you to like her family and the other way around. Her dad didn‘t even react and her brothers just looked at her. She didn‘t want to be around them any longer so she went upstairs to her room.

You to 'Less🐝'

at home.

You had nothing left, no energy, no courage, no confidence. You were hurt. Alessia wasn‘t the one to blame but you were still upset.

'Less🐝' to You

Good night,

Sleep well 💗

You didn‘t respond.

After the incident you avoided her. At school, you wouldn’t have actually seen her that day anyways yet you avoided her. Still you answered to her good morning message. Alessia knew something was off but she didn‘t seem to find you and after school didn‘t have the time because of training.

As usual after school you went to the café to start your shift. It wasn‘t too busy at the café so your shift was pretty relaxed. What you didn‘t expect though, was that shortly before shop closed Gio entered. He sat down at a table. "Hi, what can I get you?" you asked nicely. "I want you to leave my sister alone. She doesn't have time for a relationship. She needs to focus on football and doesn't need any distraction."

"What? You want me to break up with your sister?" Confusion written on your face. "Yes" wow. You didn‘t think that they disliked you this much. A break up? He couldn‘t be serious. On his way to the door, he turned around one last time "think about it. You could be the reason she‘s going to end unsuccessfully" before he left. You couldn‘t move, you couldn’t breathe. You sat on the chair for a while, unable to do anything.

You loved Alessia even if those words haven‘t left either of your mouth. Alessia loved you, too.

You to 'Less🐝'

how was your day?

miss you x

You wouldn‘t give her brother the satisfaction of a break up.

'Less🐝' to You

gimme a sec, baby

I‘m gonna call you 😘

You two have been on the phone all night. She told you every detail of her day and you about yours (minus the encounter with her brother). Everything was fine again between you.

A few days later Luca showed up at your house. As soon as you saw him you could guess what he wanted. "What do do want?" you asked anyway. Your voice was emotionless, dry. "Do you love my sister? Would you give everything up for her? For her career? What if she wants to play in a different country, would you follow her?" you ignored him, walking past him. "College is coming soon, huh? Ever thought about that?" he yelled after you. He was messing with you. Why was everyone against you? You supported Alessia in every decision she made, you went to almost every match to support her.

The final straw came when her dad visited you at the café. The mood between Alessia and you was already extremely tense. You wanted to be there for her, give her what she deserved, but you always had her brothers in mind. The way they mentally played with you.

"What can I do for you, sir?" you asked the italian. "I want you to take a seat" he said suprisingly friendly. "I still have customers, sir. I‘m not allowed to sit until my shift is finished."

"I‘ll wait" and he did, he was the last customer. You changed the open sign to closed and sat in front of him. "I'm sure my sons have already confronted you. And I know you didn‘t take their advice" Advice? Which advice? You wanted to laugh. "Look, Y/n?, right? I don‘t think you‘re good enough for my daughter. You don‘t understand anything about sports and i doubt that you’re going to make her happy on the long run. And If you really love her, you let her go and let her follow her dreams. You are a distraction" you sat there in silence. It broke your heart, your chest grew tight. Every word he said was true. You would never have been good enough for her. You were just a waitress while she was going to be a football star, maybe an idol for young girls. You didn‘t even now the rules of football.

That night you didn‘t sleep. You heard haunted voices. Voices that told you that you were a nothing, an idiot for believing that you had real chances with Alessia.

'Lessi🐝' to You

how was your shift? x

i miss you

hard day at work?

You there?

Good night

I still miss you :(

You to 'Lessi🐝'

I‘m breaking up with you.

It was the worst message to type. you sat an hour at your phone trying to type it. Tears were streaming down your face. You felt heart broken. You didn‘t want to break up that was for sure yet you had no other chance. She deserved the whole and you couldn‘t offer her that. And if you couldn't, at least someone else should have the chance.

'Less🐝' to You

What?

Why?

Y/n?

Answer me

Alessia tried to call you but you declined every time.

'Less🐝' to You

Answer the damn phone!

Y/n

Please…

Alessia sat sobbing in front of her phone. Not understanding what she did wrong to deserve this. Not understading at all where this was coming from. Her whole world crashed down.

"Mom" she cried as she walked out of her room. She needed some comfort now. She walked down the stairs to her mom which sat at the table eating breakfast with the rest of the Russo family. "She- she broke up with me" a loud sob escaped her mouth. Tears ran out of her eyes uncontrollably. She couldn't hold them back, she didn‘t want to. Her heart was just broken. She never in a million years would have thought that you would break her heart.

Alessia and Carol sat on the sofa, her head in her mother's lap, crying into it. She cried for hours until she fell asleep. As soon as she woke up she cried again. And again. She refused to eat, she refused to leave the couch, she refused everything. She just wanted you. She felt miserable without you. She didn‘t leave the house for school. She didn‘t go to training either, all she could do was to cry.

The russo men felt guilty. They didn't mean to break her heart. They only wanted what was best for her and they didn‘t think it was you. "I love her, mom. And- and I couldn‘t even tell her" she sobbed "i don‘t know what I did wrong".

"Oh sweetie…" Carol scratched her head and held her tight. It was the only thing she could do.

You didn't go to school either nor did you go to work. You were just as heart broken as she was. You only found comfort in her hoodie which slowly no longer smelt like her.

Her brothers tried desperately to get in contact with you, trying to make things right but you didn‘t answer the phone or opened the door. They waited at the café yet you never came.

In your heart broken state you started to rearrange your room, ate ice cream and chocolate (it didn‘t help like everyone always says).

Even though you weren't a couple for long, only a few months, you had a few things from her that you wanted to give back. It was her stuff after all. In all honesty: it just reminded you too much of her. You packed everything in a box and headed to her house. You didn‘t care how you looked. You didn‘t care that you hair was messy, that your clothes were worn since a few days or that you looked dead. It all didn‘t matter. Nothing mattered anymore.

Your plan was just to put the box in front of the door, you didn't expect that in that moment Alessia would open the door. But she did. You were just about to leave when you heard her voice "y/n.." her voice quivering, broken. You turned around just to be faced with an Alessia that looked like you. Her hair was messy, her face pale, her eyes puffy and she wore a hoodie that belonged to you. "I just came to bring your stuff back" your voice was raspy. It was the first time since the break up that you said something. There was an silence.

"Why did you break up with me?" she asked as she stepped forward. Her lip was trembling, her eyes glassy, she was about to cry. "Alessia…" you whispered as you stepped back, trying to bring distance between you two. "No! I deserve an explanation! Tell me!" her voice got louder, more upset. Tears were streaming down her face. As well down your face. "Because i‘m not good enough for you! Okay?!" you shouted back. You were sure her family could hear you. "What?" she was speechless. "I‘m never going to be good enough for you. You deserve the world and I can‘t give you that. I won’t make you happy. They were right. I‘m just a nobody who works as a waitress while you have a great career ahead of you" It just bubbled out of you and it felt good. It felt good to say it out loud. Slowly she processed what you had said. "They? Who are they?!" Now she was getting angry. The thought of you thinking that you‘re not good enough for her. "Is that the reason you broke up with me?! Because people told you you‘re not good enough for me?" she yelled. The tears kept getting more and more. "Why would you believe them?!"

"Because they‘re your family!"

Alessias whole world stopped. She never thought that her family would betray her like that. That her dad and brothers would do something like. That they would force you to break up with her. They should protect her not hurt her. "I should go" you whispered. It was a deja vu. Somehow when you were at her house you always wanted to leave. "Please. Can I see you later?" she was relieved when you accepted her request.

After you left, she marched into the house with so much anger in her. "What the fuck is wrong with you!" she shouted at her dad, the only person in the living room. Her shouting though got the attention of all the family members which walked down. "What‘s wrong?" Gio asked confused. "What wrong is?! You forced her to break up with me!" she hit him on the chest with all her strength. He stumbled lightly but not much. "Why would you do that?" she was back crying. "We wanted to protect you" Luca said "We thought she wasn‘t good enough for you"

"We thought that she would distract you from following your dreams" her dad added. "She was the best thing that happened to me! She went to every game to watch me. All I did was trying to impress her. That‘s the reason why my game has improved so much." Alessia was sobbing by now.

"We see that now" they all replied in unison.

"All I did, was for her!" she was standing in the middle of the living room, bawling her eyes out. She hated it to cry especially in front of people but this was different. It felt like hell because they were the reason she was crying. Wordlessly her mom hugged her which made her cry more. Carol was disappointed. She liked you and you didn‘t deserve what the russo men said to you. Alessia told her about you before you even became a couple. Alessia talked about you all the time. The blonde told her how beautiful you were and how sweet and lovely. Her mother knew that Alessia was in love with you before Alessia herself realized that she was. Carol could see how happy she was with you as a friend and then how happy Alessia was with you as her girlfriend. And to think that you had break up with her daughter because her husband and sons told you that you were not good enough made her angry and sad. Because nobody had made Alessia smile this much and bright. You were special.

As Alessia calmed down (not from her anger but her crying) she turned to her family. "I hope you are happy" she said in a broken angry voice. she looked everyone dead in the eye and left the living room. "Where are you going?" her dad asked. As if he still had the right to talk to her. "None of your business" she put on her shoes and grabbed her key and phone "honey" her mom started "what are you doing?" It was okay that she didn‘t answer her dad but she hoped Alessia would answer her. "Trying to fix my relationship!" she looked one last time to her family "and for the record i hope for you that she still wants me because if not - scratch that either way I won't talk to you anymore. You. are. dead. to. me!" with that she slammed the door.

You were lying on your bed, starring at the ceiling. Your tears had stopped a while ago but your broken heart was still there. You felt embarrassed and exposed. All you wanted was to make Alessia happy and show her and the world that you were worthy of her love.

'Less🐝' to You

Can you open the door?

please

As soon as you saw that it was message from Lessi your heart fluttered.

It took you a minute to compose yourself. You didn‘t change or did anything since you saw her, you had no energy. When you opened the door your heart made a flip. Yes, you had seen her earlier but now where you weren‘t at her house shouting at each other you could appreciate it to see her.

She wanted to say something but you didn‘t let her with your eyes you told her to follow you. And she did.

You laid down on your bed (on your side) facing the window. Alessia was standing in your room, waiting for a signal. When none came she just did what was in der head. She laid next to you, facing your back. At first she left distance between you two but then she didn‘t anymore. She missed you so much. She grabbed your waist and pulled in you into her, her head resting on your shoulder. God, she missed your touch. She missed everything about you. The way you melted into her embrace, the way she could hug your smaller figure. After minutes of just holding you she whispered "I missed you so much" as a tear escaped her eye. you turned to face her as more tears stream down her face. Her eyes so clear blue in contrast with of her redness and paleness. "Please don‘t cry" your wiped away some tears. your hands didn‘t leave her face, they couldn’t. you missed her, too, so much. In her arms you felt at home, you felt peace. It was the first time since the break up where you both didn‘t feel completely heart broken. "You‘re good enough for me, okay? You- you‘re the best thing that happened to me" she cried. And she couldn‘t stop. Crying all day long she thought she had no tears left, oh boy was she wrong. "I love you" your heart went from broken to trembling to excited. Alessia loved you! No one's ever said that to you. You felt so many emotions at once; joy, sadness, excitement, fear and bliss. "Please don‘t let me go" you hadn‘t reliazed that your hands went off her face and you leant away. "Say it again" your voice was quiet, your eyes closed. "I love you" That's all it took for you to kiss her. A kiss that was so desperately needed. A kiss where you both felt alive again, where you felt whole. "I love you too" the two of you laid in silence. Your legs were tangled together, arms gripping one another scared that the other would disappear.

"What are we gonna do now?" you asked after what felt like an eternity of just holding each other. Alessia‘s heart was beating fast, she was tense. Maybe even scared. "I want to be my girlfriend-"

"But your dad and brothers…"

"I don‘t care!" Her voice was raised. It made her angry that her family had so much power over you - over your relationship. "I‘m sorry for raising my voice. I don‘t care, okay? I love you. And you love me. I don‘t want to spend another day without you being my girlfriend." she admitted. The days without you were horrible. She never wanted to exprience that again. Ever. "I‘m scared" you mumbled. Though you were already in her grasp, she pulled you closer. "I know" she kissed your forehead "but I promise you that none of them will ever talk to you again."

"What If they make you break up with me?"

"They won‘t. I love you. You make me a better person and footballer, they know that now. Even If they tried, i would quit football in a heartbeat just to be with you" her finger stroked your cheekbone so softly while her heart eyes looked into yours. "Be mine" her gaze lingered on your lips.

"Okay"

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watched Barça - Wolfsburg live, absolutely nerve wracking

——————————

#alessia russo #alessia russo x reader #woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso #man utd women #arsenal wfc #engwnt #lionesses #engwnt x reader #lionesses x reader

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jindipity · 9 months

Text

134340

This song is for the hopeless people who are confronted with feelings of loneliness and longing after their significant lover isn’t a part of their life anymore. You take the role of Pluto who was kicked out of the solar system the way you were removed from your lover‘s life. If you could, you would ask them why they left and pushed you away. Regardless of how your relationship ended, you stay in your lover’s life like your role never changed. Even though Pluto doesn’t have a name anymore, it‘s still revolving around the sun just like you. You don’t know if your lover still wants you in their life. Nonetheless, you can’t just discard them as they did with you. Once you were their star, someone important they valued the most, but now you‘re just a mere number. Every bit of warm light you felt on your skin came from your sun. Now that they‘re gone, it feels like you‘re drowning in your own darkness once again. Like Pluto, the planet as well as the god of the underworld, you were always dependent on the sunshine they gave you. Jealousy silently creeps up on you. Simultaneously embarrassed for losing your role, you blame their new love interest for the shift. Pluto lost its name due to a moon called Eris that appeared in the same orbit as the dwarf planet. However, last one could keep its own title instead of getting a replacement number like Pluto. You both have been replaced and are facing a less dignified role in your sun‘s life now. The hope that one day your loved one will understand how much they actually mean to you, doesn‘t leave your body. You selflessly put them above yourself and dedicated everything to them. As the sun left, Pluto’s -248 degree cold heart stopped beating; illustrating how extremely hurt you were when they abandoned you. However, you still miss your lover. Your world didn’t stop to revolve around them. You often reminisces the time when you both were together and each other’s home. But, just like Pluto will never reach the sun, you won‘t reunite with your loved one again despite the proximity. It drives you crazy how every day seems the same, yet everything feels so different since they‘re gone. Whenever you think you‘re doing better and moved on, the sun enters your life again and all the repressed feelings come back like a flooding. They‘re happy and smiling at someone else who isn‘t you. Without second thoughts you approach them and tell your loved one that you‘re doing okay even though your heart explodes inside you. Finally, you acknowledge your new status of a bare number and planet of darkness far away from the sun. The realization that your lover has forgotten about you, hurts you deeply. Yet, despite the heartbreak, you will always hold onto them and continue to orbit around your sun. 134340 resonates with all the people who have experienced emotional distance or the sense of being overlooked. It doesn’t only tell the story of Pluto but also makes you feel seen. While strangers won’t recognize your numerical sequence, friends and your favourite people will. At the end you didn‘t lose your spark nor your significance after a breakup. Unlike Pluto, you‘re able to alter your course, seek a new source of warmth, or be your own sun. You don’t have to orbit around one person your whole life.

Song requested by @taekritimin123

Check out my masterlist for more <3

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mommyownsmee · 1 year

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mommy are you good at aftercare? is there anything specific that you do when it comes to that?

i’m a virgin but i feel like after sex i will sub drop or something. like, sometimes when i think of someone having sex with me, i feel really subby and dependant on them.

Sub Drop is something that sadly happens really often because there are so many egoistic/selfish Dom/me‘s or Dom/me‘s that think they know everything. They mostly have no clue what they‘re doing and that‘s the worst mistake a Dom/me can make!

It‘s easy to prevent if your Dom/me keeps an eye on you as a Sub and human and respect your feelings the same as you respect their‘s.

Sub Drop isn‘t something that goes away again easily and sadly it‘s something that can happen from one second to another.

I personally keep an close eye on my Sub before, while and after each sexual and non-sexual interaction.

Sub Drop can even happen from non-sexual interaction, for excample after a fight or an punishment. It can even happen during cuddles, if my Sub suddenly experiences self-doubt or remembers bad memories she made with other Dom/me‘s.

The best way to prevent Sub Drop is communication:

Talking about mistakes that other Dom/me‘s made, so that I simpely can make it better.

Finding things that triggers my Sub (words or sentences, memories, touching specific body parts, the way I maybe speak sometimes, places or even kinks that my Sub normally likes can be a trigger).

Making rules for both parts and strictly keeping them in (no breaking of rules or only on special days or in special moments).

I‘m constantly checking in on my Sub, which means I try to do my best to make sure she‘s happy. This can be just by talking and keeping an eye on her way to write or speak, or by asking if she‘s alright.

If my Sub gets a Sub Drop even though we did our best to prevent it:

I do immediately switch from Domme to girlfriend and keep all the Bdsm stuff out of sight. Out of sight = after a while out of mind.

I try to change the topic if she wants it, or we talk about what happened and find out why it happened.

I reassure her constantly, that what happens is totally okay and she doesn‘t have to be ashamed.

I ask her if she needs something (tea, stuffie, blanket, cuddles, or just silence or even if I should leave her alone for a while).

Aftercare is a really important thing after sexual interaction (as long as my Sub doesn‘t say she doesn‘t want it).

I like to just spend time with my Sub.

Aftercare isn‘t too much. Please don‘t be afraid to tell your Dom/me you want or need it.

Aftercare involves for me:

Cuddles and kisses and a lot of praises.

Cleaning my Sub up and taking her to have a nice bath (IT‘S ME WHO FILLS THE BATHTUB!) or a shower, if she isn‘t too tired.

Taking her makeup off if she‘s too tired to do it herself, so she doesn‘t have to do it herself.

I even pick her up and bring her to the bathroom if needed (THAT‘S. NOT. TOO. MUCH!).

Watching a movie or series together if wanted or just play a (video) game or listen to music. Maybe scroll Tiktok or Tumblr together -or read a book or comic together.

Cooking her food! Hungry Sub = Sad Sub! Even if she doesn‘t want. As soon as she sees the food she wants it.

Talking about what happened and reassuring her that all we did was only some kind of roleplay and that all I said was only said because it brought her joy!!

Letting her sleep on me if she wants. It‘s so cute and makes me so happy and proud.

Aftercare is really important! And it even helps us Dom/mes to prevent a Dom Drop. 𝒙𝒙

Don‘t be afraid of talking with your Dom/me about Aftercare or a Sub Drop. Don‘t keep it in! It will get worse and affect every single interaction with your Dom/me and can even lead to heavy depressions!

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rishiguro · 2 years

Text

HAIKYUU CHARACTERS AS CLICHÉ CHARACTERS IN A HORROR MOVIE

a/n: totally not my love for the horror genre shining through. clichés based on western media.

THE FINAL GIRL.

okay, maybe not a /girl/ per se. they‘re undoubtedly the most important person — and the only one that seems to be aware of the situation. they just want to overcome whatever is happening and get home safe, they need to win. even if that victory is accompanied by loss and grief at best.

SUGAWARA. iwaizumi. kiyoko. KITA.

THE PAWN.

he’s the one to get you in trouble in the first place. he was a good guy, maybe a bit too trusting and naïve. and because he had always been so curious he jumped as soon as he had the opportunity to try something new. maybe it was exploring that new cave, maybe he tried to read the latin in that sketchy book or maybe he suggested a camping trip into the not-so-friendly-looking woods.

hinata. KAGEYAMA. bokuto. hoshiumi. LEV.

THE SLUT.

might also knows as “the bad girl (boy)”. he’s the complete opposite of the “final one” — and he’s proud to be it. he lives in the moment, thinks the rules are there to be broken and might definitely be seen as the “sluttiest” in the whole group. as long as he gets what he wants, he’s content — even if it’s at the expense of others.

oikawa. ATSUMU. hanamaki. semi. DAISHOU.

THE JOCK.

he‘s the definition of a jock. he’s super athletic, popular, maybe a little bit dense. and well, he can be kind of mean. yet no matter what, he’s probably the one who is 100% sure he‘ll get out of it. he’s quick on his feet, he is strong and his stamina is great — surely he can survive everything and everyone… or can he?

OSAMU. goshiki. SUNA. tanaka. nishinoya.

THE SMART GUY.

he’s intelligent and thoughtful. careful to never act impulsively and always do what’s the best for everyone. he seems to have a hunch pretty early on, trying his best to get everyone back home safe. let’s hope that he can utilize his wits.

AKAASHI. matsukawa. kuroo.

THE COP.

he’s a protector, or well, he’s supposed to be. he keeps warning you and the others, yet his tone always seems quite off when he’s speaking to you, each meeting with him leaving you with some bitter aftertaste. let’s hope that he really is there when you need him the most.

ushijima. DAICHI. aone. aran.

THE HARBINGER.

you met them when you first came here. and they mean well, they really do, even if they get ignored. they know their way around, they know of all the stories people tell and they know what might be lurking around. you have been warned.

yamaguchi. asahi. YACHI. yaku. kindaichi.

THE KILLER.

you don’t know what his motivation is. you don’t know where he is. you don’t know what he wants. you don’t know who he even is in the first place. he always seems to be creeping right around the next corner, watching you, waiting for your next move. waiting for the right time to lunge forward.

tendou. KENMA. tsukishima.

#₊❏❜ ⋮haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader #hq x reader #suna x reader #atsumu x reader #oikawa x reader #kuroo x reader #akaashi x reader

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burningtheroots · 6 months

Text

Also, it‘s so fucking annoying how a man will get praised for doing the bare minimum (or even less) whilst women get criticized for the exact same thing, and even if they put in more work than their male counterparts. And this applies to everything, from personal achievements to the workforce to feminism.

When praising men, people really need to start questioning ”Would we praise a woman the same way? If not, why not?”

It‘s not a secret that showing up, doing your work/“duties” and being 100% modest anout it is the standard expectation for women, meanwhile for men, praise awaits them around every corner.

It‘s also not a secret that for criticism, it‘s the other way around.

In terms of feminism — WOMEN‘s liberation — it‘s the exact same pattern. A woman stands up for women, defends her rights and speaks her mind? It‘s seen as self-evident at best and as entitled (or even crazy/misandrist/evil) at worst. A man stands up for women and speaks his mind? Suddenly it‘s a phenomenon that must be celebrated like some national hero.

Sure, many people will say "but when a man does it, it‘s more selfless because he‘s speaking up for others!!!" — excuse me?! Women who speak up are the truly selfless ones — they‘re speaking up for an universally oppressed class whilst being exposed & subjected to the same horrors since they‘re a member of said class themselves.

And many people will say "but when are discouraged from speaking up for women due to tOxIc mAsCuLiNiTy!!!" — again, excuse me?! Since when are the oppressors‘ feelings more important than the suffering of the oppressed? Since when do the oppressed have to sympathize with their oppressor, and even before their oppressor sympathizes with them? Also, women & girls are getting brainwashed and gaslit since birth to obey patriarchy and serve men.

I could go on and on and on, but the point is clear:

Women are women‘s heroes, protectors, friends and allies. Men are not. If they were, they wouldn’t expect to get recognized for work which is predominantly done by women, and especially women who are marginalized on several axes of oppression, and worry more about the movement‘s actual progress and the impact of their own contributions instead.

P.S.: When you seriously think that men getting praised for the bare minimum is justified because they got "raised that way", why do you think this narrative is only ever applied to them, and not to women? And why is it always only applied when they fuck up?

In my humble opinion, it‘s (psychologically) much more difficult to recognize your own suffering as a problem when you‘ve been taught to internalize it as normal, necessary and expected (and often even seek comfort and a purpose in it because it‘s so familiar) than it is to recognize the subjugation of others as a problem, unless you lack basic empathy and enjoy the benefits you reap from their pain.

So, instead of worrying about men‘s bruised egos and their conditional "allyship", perhaps focus on uplifting women. Invest the energy you invest into men into women instead and see how that makes an actual change.

#radfem #radblr #women deserve better #women‘s rights #male violence #fuck the patriarchy #women for women

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atalienart · 4 months

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that sounds like a shit situation ❤️❤️ i don‘t think you‘re unlikeable though. it can be tough to keep in contact with people, and i think it‘s gotten harder over the last couple years for everyone (don‘t mean to minimize your specific situation). i think it could just be shit luck, but if it isn‘t, i don‘t think the problem lies deep within you or anything. i know it can feel like that though. there‘s nothing wrong with you as a person, you‘re not somehow fucked up. you‘re fine, i promise. people who talk like that (“you’re unlikeable”) are just mean because for some reason they either don‘t want to be better or they just don‘t know how to. either way, it doesn‘t sound like they put a lot of effort into building that opinion, so personally, i would dismiss it (i know that can be really hard to do though). it’s not exactly constructive. it sounds like plain petty and bitter bullshit tbh lol.

even though i found some friends for life during school, after moving away from each other, it‘s been hard to keep in touch. two of them are just dogshit at texting lmao, and one is great but doesn‘t have much time for actually substantial contact, like phone calls or visits. what i‘ve found to be integral is all of it, sadly lmao. it‘s rly hard when life is happening for everyone and bigger projects take up time and energy, it‘s been a struggle to trust that we‘re still friends despite little active friendship happening, but it‘s worth it. i don‘t know anything about your specific situation, but open communication is always a banger. if you have people you want to keep in your life, you gotta tell em. again, i don‘t know if you have and it just wasn‘t mutual. i just wanna help somehow because you seem hurt and i know that and it sucks but it‘s hard to go off of so little info. anyway. baring your soul be scary as hell but everyone has one, and usually being brave enough to do it first makes people feel safe to do it back. i recommend trying it. i also highly recommend not declaring a friendship / any relationship lost because of a potentially temporary loss of contact. people withdraw from their social circles all the time bc something in their life is stressing them out, and a lot of the time people aren‘t opposed to contact with someone, they just don‘t know how to approach them because maybe they thought they‘re sending signals that they‘re not that interested, or they‘re just plain anxious. shy. if you want a relationship to grow and develop and become stronger, if you want to build a bond, i recommend getting into the habit of making the first step. i KNOW that can be really hard lmao, the first time i tried to meaningfully reach out to someone i wasn‘t already close with it took me literal months lmfao. but i did it! and you can do it too. you really absolutely can.

idk. i think the most important thing is to be openly affectionate and let people know, even just in small ways! in can be said so so casually, you can just mention that sitting down for coffee or smth is such a nice calm moment in your otherwise busy day. or customize that to fit you however you want! just let people know that it‘s fun to spend time with them. they‘re probably just as shy and insecure as you. just small things to make them feel valuable and appreciated, so that they can understand that they really are, yknow? basically just— everything you‘d want them to do for you, you gotta do for them! and they‘ll likely happily return the favor :‘) if not, that‘s tough, but you guys not being a match doesn‘t mean other people won‘t be!

i find it hard to make new friends too. i moved away from my school friends and sttttruuuuggglllleeed for a while to make new friends here, i‘m just coming out of a shit shit fucking shit period in my life so i still don‘t have any, despite having talked with and sort of started the process of building a friendship with a few. nothing lasted for me either, and i thought it was because there‘s something wrong with me too. that‘s bullshit though, for me as for you, and i gotta try again and be calm and trust that it‘s gonna work eventually, because people do want to be friends, and if you can manage not to make yourself crazy with worry about it, then it‘s just gonna go along rather smoothly and just be fun.

i hope you can believe that, but i know i would have found it hard a year ago. it‘s true though. it could be that you‘re a rarer personality hehe, i still feel like that myself lol. but that doesn‘t mean you won‘t find your people. and if you meet someone you like, i hope you can have the courage to take the first step whenever it‘s needed. if you start like that, they‘ll likely follow and take the first step towards you when you can‘t :‘)

people generally like friendship and want to make friends. you‘re not any less suited for the job than anybody else. it takes a bit of effort though, sometimes a lot. but you can do it :‘)

i hope you feel better soon, and i really hope this isn‘t preachy and obnoxious. :|

Hey, thanks for the message. I'm sorry to hear you struggle with finding your people. But even if it's hard, I'm happy to hear that you still have someone you keep in touch with. Also, I think you're really amazing being so active in building relationships, hope it turns into something great for you one day and you find many valuable friendships. You sound like really cool, smart person ❤️

You're very kind but I think my situation really is my fault. I try, but I believe I'm just tiresome after a while. Besides, even when I do my best to communicate clearly (I really do) it seems I always end up saying or doing something wrong. I guess the braver people choose to look past my weirdness but at some point they realise it's not worth it. And I'm not saying that to sound quirky, it's just that when people constantly look at you like you're a different species and tell you you're weird you start to notice you're the odd one out xD I really don't expect people to always be there for me, I just hope for some conversation from time to time, some texting, nothing more. (And I think unless something really serious is going on in your life you can find time to answer a text from someone you say you like/see as a friend.) I really admire you for reaching out to others just like that, I always have a feeling I'm a bother. It doesn't help that initial small talk is extremely hard form me, it takes a lot of energy and brain power from me Anyway, at this point I think I'm the one who doesn't want to make friends anymore. I already gave up on trying to do that irl, it's like "level impossible" because apart from horrible personality I'm additionally very visually unappealing xD But in general, I think it would be safer to not expect anything from anyone. It's always like "hey, maybe they really do enjoy talking to me" and then it's like "nope, never mind, you really do suck". I don't need that reminder every couple years xD I'm old and tired. Anyway, don't worry, I'll be fine. I just haven't got enough sleep and I've been stressed lately, that's why I'm whining. I know I shouldn't do that on social media but here we go lol. Hugs for you!

#q&a #it isn't preachy and obnoxious don't worry

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bwoahtastic · 1 year

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i can totally see nico being the one who insists on adopting max! maybe they adopted mick as a pup first and then a year or two later they decide to adopt an elder pup too? so they‘re at the adoption center and while toto is talking to one of the workers and getting to know some of the younger kids, nico lets mick run around a little but looses sight of him for a bit. he finds mick in the furthest away corner, happily playing with teenage alpha max, who is not even trying to present himself and talk to the possible foster parents like the others do. he knows he stands no chance, he’s one of the eldest, has tattoos that only get him weird looks and the workers always say he’s just trouble. but he‘s so sweet and gentle playing with little mick and nico watches for a while before going over. max gets closed off and distant as soon as nico tries to talk to him, but nico can smell how sad he is, not even daring to look at nico properly.

pls nico being determined and going back to where toto is still with the worker, and he asks if he can be provided with the file of the young alpha over there, and toto is also a little shocked lol but the worker straight up tries to tell him that they should have a look at the other pups first? max just means a lot of work….nico nearly looses his cool then and there already. max doesn‘t mean a lot of work, he just needs a lot of love and care!

Oh plss Nico and Toto having fostered (and then adopted) little mick for a year or two now when they decide they are ready to foster another child. They take mick along with them because it is ofc important mick will get along with the new pup!

Nico let's Mick wander around and play for a bit while Toto is talking to the case worker and when Nico turns he sees lil Mick has made himself comfy on a teen Alpha's lap while the Alpha shows him q picture book. The Alpha looks so sad but is so sweet to Mick! The boy isn't trying to talk or interact with the adults and when Nico goes over to them, he gets tense and doesn't meet Nico's eye, but mumbles his name is Max.

Nico decides this sad young Alpha will be his baby and goes to Toto and the case worker to ask for more information when the case worker says they are better off choosing someone else, Max is rude and closed off and he is also 17, in a year he will be free to leave from here. He says Max has anxiety and some other issues and will be too much work and Nico loses it! This poor thing has judt been let down too much and needs some love!

Max overhears Nico telling the case worker off and he is a little shock but shyly dares to trust the daily rhe tiniest bit and agrees to go home with them!

#asks #abo adoption

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nevermindigotthis · 6 months

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Sooooo, another fanfic idea told in pictures. At the Department of Mysteries Sirius doesn‘t get killed, he gets captured. The Death Eaters drag him back to Malfoy Manor and to Voldemort. Sirius thinks he‘s going to die, which is not great, but he can make his peace, as long as he can get some revenge. So, as soon as they drag him through the door and he sees Wormtail there, he turns into his Animagus. People react fast, but a few seconds are more than enough for a dog to tear someone‘s throat out.

After that, Sirius is tortured for a bit and forced to turn back into a human. He thinks they‘ll kill him now, but Voldemort has other plans.

Now comes the fucked up part (2 more images beyond the cut, neither is especially graphic, but they‘re the most NSFW I‘ve ever drawn. CW for implied rape)

So Voldemort goes and have some fun. (Others too, presumably).

…So yeah. Sirius is not having a good time. I wanted this to be a Sirius whump, but you know. Poor fucking Harry. Because of course he has nightmares about this, from Voldemorts perspective. Which is a whole other fucking layer of this that I didn‘t even think about when I started this drawing. So Harry is having The Worst Time of his life, occlumency suddenly becomes a whole new level of important. Meanwhile Snape, the boor bastard, has to teach Harry Occlumency and then return to Voldemort to patch up Sirius who is Not Well and who‘s only comfort is that at least Harry is safe. 😬

Snape/Sirius endgame, a happy-ish ending somehow, probably a LOT of therapy for Harry and me wondering how I even come up with this shit. (I know how. My fanfic thoughts start with „wouldn‘t it be fucked up if…“, that‘s why. )

#my art #comic #Harry Potter #Harry Potter fan art #dark fic #fic ideas #sirius black #whump prompt #Sirius black whump #severus snape #sirius black x severus snape #voldemort #nagini #bellatrix lestrange #dark au #torture #content warning #look if anyone wants to write this let me know because I am not strong enough #but I would read the shit out of this

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mondgewalt · 10 months

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now i can finally talk about gender-hoodlum and explain what he said 😭

first off, here is the scene in question with a rough translation:

you might be wondering why i wrote Polizist*innen with an emphasize on innen instead of translating it normally, like i did when brawler said Polizisten. before i do that, i need to explain how the german language works:

unlike languages like english or japanese, german is one of many languages that uses grammatical gender. that means, instead of referring to everything with a single, definite article (e.g. ‘the‘) or none at all, german has a whole 3 of them (there is actually more but for the sake of keeping this short, i‘ll keep them to the 3 basic ones)! der, die and das. i‘ll only introduce you to der and die, as they are the most relevant right now.

der is the masculine version, used for words like der Hund (the dog), der Baum (the tree) and der Polizist (the police officer). as you can see, police officer is a masculine word, because it‘s a profession. professions usually use der, unless they‘re feminized and switch to die. every profession has a female equivalent (e.g der Arzt and die Ärztin, der Verkäufer and die Verkäuferin, der Feuerwehrmann and die Feuerwehrfrau).

die is the feminine version, used for words like die Katze (the cat), die Blume (the flower) and die Polizistin (the police officer). nothing about police officer changed in english, it still has the same meaning, but in german we‘re speaking about a female police officer. here is something important to note about die though: it‘s also always used for plurals. die Hunde (the dogs), die Bäume (the trees), die Polizisten (the police officers).

now since that is out of the way, you‘re probably still confused. why did hoodlum correct brawler? what the hell does *innen mean and what does that have to do with a political debate in germany?

what hoodlum did is called ‘gendern‘ in german, i think you know where the word comes from. it‘s a way to be inclusive in speech and writing by trying to refer to every gender instead of using the standard masculine words. for example, one common variation i see is Schüler*innen (students). i‘ll try to break it into parts and explain it

Schüler: der Schüler, the standard singular word and what is basically described.

*: a star to divide the noun and ending. when you vocally gender, this is a pause.

innen: die Schülerinnen, the plural and female word for Schüler. the ending is used to make it inclusive to female students.

btw i mentioned that gendern caused a political debate in germany… i think it‘s far bigger. while gendern has been a thing for years now (it just wasn’t called gendern back then) through other ways (e.g saying „Schülerinnen und Schüler“), it has caused recent controversy when *innen became popular. news broadcasts, some schools, etc. have started to use it and a lot of people began criticizing it:

“people who have been criticizing gender-inclusive language think: texts become longer and more complicated. There would also be no need for a gender-inclusive language. when someone is referred to as „Schülern“, it grammatically means everyone — boys and girls.“ text from https://www.zdf.de/kinder/logo/gendern-gendergerechte-sprache-geschlechter-100.html translated by me

controversy has been going so far that certain political parties even began to ban it from unis and other places.

so yeah, i can‘t explain it but seeing such a recent topic in fucking akudama drive, a japanese anime, is a little funny to me 😭

#akudama drive #akudrive #explaining a genuine political topic that has probably helped in the rise of right-wingism in germany through an anime from 2020….

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skipper1331 · 1 year

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Poser // Lina Magull

a/n: based off this request. Enjoy:)

You loved to take pictures since your childhood. It didn‘t matter If it was the sky, a tree, an animal or anything. Everything was perfect for a picture, you just had to have the right perspective (and some editing skills).

So as many people you turned your passion in to your job. You even had your own photo gallery and were internationally known.

Let’s just say, you did your job damn well.

A few years ago though, you got a job offer - Bayern Munich - you couldn‘t say no. How could you? Sports photographer? You loved it.

You met the staff members the first day in to your new job, they were all super nice and welcoming, thankfully the language barrier wasn‘t as difficult - you had been in Germany often enough to have a nice conversation. It made it easier to feel comfortable and like Munich could be your home for the next few years.

You didn‘t meet the team until the recovery training after their first game of the season. Alexander Straus introduced you so no one would wonder why you were traveling with the team or that you‘ll send them pictures in a high quality of them to upload on their social media.

And that‘s how you met your girlfriend. Lina Magull.

The moment she saw you, she was intrigued by your beauty and your work.

It didn‘t take her long to ask you out and eventually to be her girlfriend. Strong years as a couple ahead of you.

It was a hot summer day, pre-season had officially started and everybody was full with new energy.

You trailed along the pitch where the girls did their drills, your camera at the ready. The lightning was great, it made your job a lot easier and you wouldn’t have to edit too much later on. Taking more pictures of the new signings then of the rest was normal at the pre-season time. It was your job to present new players and enchant fans. But you took many pictures of everyone in general.

"Liebe! Soll ich für dich posen?" the german yelled as she saw you frowning at your camera, the typical wrinkle between your brows, biting your lip in concentration. As respond you lifted your camera, looking through it. The midfielder loved to pose for you, it didn‘t matter If it was on the pitch or behind closed doors, she enjoyed seeing you work. Two birds with one stone.

She started off with a few jumps, her arms stretching in all directions, then some dance moves. Slow dance, party moves as if strangers were around and moves as If she was wasted and with you and/or her friends. Your finger was almost constantly clicking on the camera's shutter button. There will definitely be some really good pictures.

Some girls even joined her and started to dance the Macarena dance. It was funny as hell.

The Munich girls respected you, not only because you were Linas (long term) girlfriend, but also because you were funny and sweet. As well they liked the pictures you took of them. You had a good instinct for the camera, years of practice, and also a good human instinct, you knew which pictures the girls liked of themselves and which they didn't, without them ever seeing some of the pictures. That’s what made you and your talent special. That little certain something, your own style hidden in every picture, your signature touch. You were an important part of the team.

"Are there any good pictures, my love?" the german asked, wrapping her arm around your waist. When did she get to you?

"I think so, they‘re always great when you‘re there" you giggled, winking. "Such a flirt" she laughed before pressing a quick kiss to your lips. "hey! you are just photogenic" you chuckled, clicking rapidly on the camera to annoy her, yourself going down in crazy positions to 'get the right angle' as she already did new poses; kissie faces, heart shapes out of her hands.

"You‘re a total poser" you chuckled, refering to one of your favorite marvel movies. "You did not just use a Black Widow quote on me, did you?!" she yelled, walking backwards to her team mates, her eyes still on you.

"What If I did?"

The german always mocked you for the love you had for the marvel universe yet secretly enjoying the times were you would force or beg her to watch them with you. The excitement your eyes held as she gave in. She even cried watching Endgame (who wouldn‘t??)

To make you happy and laugh, your girlfriend jumped up before landing in the typical Black Widow pose which she corrected slightly on the floor. You immediately lifted the camera and took a photo. Only one. It would have ruined the moment if you had taken several, somehow you knew that it was the photo.

You couldn‘t help yourself but whisper, "such a poser" one of the most iconic lines of the one and only Yelena Belova.

While the girls were in the gym, you connected your camera to your laptop about to finish your job for today. You edited the important pics and sent them to the respective player. Editing does take a certain amount of time so the remaining pictures would get your attention at home on the couch or the bed, something comfy.

The knock on your office door pulled you out of your daydreams, your girlfriend standing in the frame "Ready to go home?" she asked. You answered with a nod and grabbed your belongings before walking out of your office, your fingers interwining with the midfielders.

At home, the two of you watched some random football match, the brunette laying exhausted on your chest while your hand massaged her scalp. As soft snores filled the room, you looked at your phone - the picture of your favorite girl in the Widow pose as your new backround. No editing needed, the picture was perfect just as you had predicted.

Maybe one day there‘ll be a special Lina Magull exhibition in your gallery - you definitely had a lot of perfect pictures of your favorite poser.

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translation:

Liebe - love

Soll ich für dich posen? - Do you want me to pose for you?

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#lina magull #lina magull x reader #bayern munich frauen #frauen bundesliga #gerwnt #gerwnt x reader #woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso #marvel #mcu fanfiction #black widow #yelena belova #fc bayern frauen #dfb frauen #dfb frauen x reader

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