#even when the writers did stupid plots and created drama

[like-sands-of-time]

Season eight was a steaming dumpster of plots and quick character building activities while setting up the "then they lived happily ever after" but they truly truly did House and Wilson's relationship justice in the end I will say that.

I was so mad at how the writers of the show clearly wanted to go one way with House and Cuddy's relationship, while the producers and actors disagreed on actually getting there, and that will be a loss to the show really. Even if they didn't last they deserved a more heartfelt attempt at a relationship after six seasons and two decades of apparent history. Alas!

House finally finally changed and became the man he wanted to be, because of Wilson's death. Nothing before that, or perhaps everything before that, prepared him for who he was meant to be. He gave of himself willingly for Wilson's benefit and not his own repeatedly. And when Wilson is gone he has no life, no job, but he knows he'll be ok. Despite this being the one thing that hurts the most. Because in the end all his subconscious people were wrong. He doesn't still need the puzzle or the meds or anything.

He's not going to lose it and kill himself when Wilson does eventually die. He's going to grieve like he's seen patients families do, and then he's going to live for Wilson for as long as he's got left of his own clock.

He's got no money and he can't get in trouble with the law lest he blow his cover but he'll pass the time. Who knows... Maybe he just goes from town to town helping people with their simple ailments like he knows Wilson enjoyed. No puzzles no excitement just fixing people up and moving along.

[joequiinn]

The Dos & Don'ts of Fake Dating | E.M. x reader | pt. 15

[chap fourteen] | [all chapters here] | [chap sixteen]

Story Summary: You propose a crazy idea to the resident freak of Hawkins, Eddie Munson. But maybe he was even crazier for agreeing to it…

notes & tropes: fem reader, slooow burn, faking dating, opposites attract, bratty rich bitch reader, super minor revenge plot, dysfunctional family dynamics, idiots-to-lovers, smut & nsfw themes

a/n: Yes it has been nearly 2 months since I've posted, this chapter was giving me a hard time 😭 But I finally fought off the writer's block, and now we're only a few more chapters away from the end!

wc: 5.9k

Chapter Fifteen

“I can’t believe I let you drag me into this.” You grumbled as Eddie guided you through the school hallways, to which he gave you a dazzlingly mocking smile. That self-satisfied grin was practically ear-to-ear as he looked down at you, his face alight with such glee that you briefly felt the temptation to smack the look away in retaliation.

“You didn’t have to come along.” Eddie answered with a mischievous glint in his eyes, and you pulled a face at him; you were always amused by Eddie’s antics, even the ones that annoyed you, such as this.

“You say that, but I didn’t really have a choice, did I?” You countered smartly. Eddie’s grip on your hand tightened a little just to torment you.

“One night of D&D for one night at a Halloween party, I think that sounds fair enough. And I came up with a very special campaign just for you, princess, it would be a shame if you missed it.”

He gave you a taunting, perhaps even flirtatious look, and you couldn’t help your surprise - was he just saying that, or had he actually created a campaign simply because he was counting on you being there? Regardless, he made a good point, although you abhorred to admit it.

Yesterday afternoon, you’d overheard some of your peers excitedly talking about a Halloween party coming up next week, and it caught your attention - you loved parties and you loved Halloween too much not to become curious.

So, you eavesdropped, getting what details you could. The party was hosted by Chance Hunter, whose family was very well known for their parties - it started with his oldest brother back when he was still in school, and the tradition continued with the middle brother and finally Chance. For the past ten years, everyone at Hawkins High knew a party at the Hunter house meant getting absolutely trashed and totally fucked up.

You’d had your own share of wild memories from past parties hosted by Chance - not good memories necessarily, but undeniably chaotic ones. Getting into spats with people after drinking too much, trying coke for the first time - parties hosted by the Hunters were total mayhem, and yet you all kept going back for more like a bunch of sadists.

So, having heard all the details about the party coming up next week, you insisted to Eddie that the two of you had to go, that he had to experience at least one party at the Hunters’ before he graduated. And he was not wholly eager to go to a high school party, although you insisted it wasn’t like any shit he’d probably seen before. It took some back-and-forth for you to get him to agree, but only if you came to a session with the Hellfire Club; you had laughed at the idea before you realized that he was being deathly serious. You were half-tempted to say the party wasn’t worth it, but then Eddie seemed to look actually disappointed, so you begrudgingly agreed so that you didn't hurt his feelings too much.

This god damn crush was going to be the death of you.

Thus, here you were, entering the drama room to the sight of everyone else already sitting around a table, a bit of a sneer on your face as they looked back at you with surprised confusion. You could practically feel how large Eddie’s smile was as he dragged you across the room, eagerly pulling up a chair for you, although the seat was dwarfed in comparison to the stupid throne at the head of the table; if this weren’t the theatre room, you’d wonder why the fuck Eddie had a throne in the first place.

“How’d you convince her to come here?” Grant asked with a laugh, to which you glared; the group of boys was starting to grow accustomed to your presence and, unfortunately, that meant they also weren’t quite as scared of you as they once were. Nor were you quite as annoyed by them as you used to be.

“Much persuasion.” Eddie responded in a comedic, low voice, as if he were already getting into character as Dungeon Master; the title made you burst out laughing when he first said it, to which you received a sharp glare.

Really, Eddie didn’t think you’d agree to come along when he first mentioned this - he threw out the Dungeons and Dragons suggestion because he figured you’d say “no,” that you’d rather skip a good party than be even a spectator to his hobby. Considering what happened at the last party you two attended together, Eddie was initially anxious about what could happen should you go to another; he enjoyed kissing you far too much, and he worried that if given another opportunity to do so, he’d have a much harder time keeping himself together.

Prior to that party at Rick’s place, Eddie already knew he was royally screwed - his crush on you had developed so damn quickly that it nearly gave him whiplash. Despite the fact that you were mean just for the sake of it, that you were frigid half the time, that you were stubborn and willing to fight with him… Eddie had still managed to fall for you like a total sap.

From that first “date” when you two actually found things to laugh about together, Eddie was already growing charmed by you, and even at the time he knew that was a dangerous thing. And as the weeks carried on, it only became easier for Eddie to see you as his - you actually went to his band’s gigs, you were open to trying new things with him, you willingly apologized to him despite it clearly being a near impossible task for you. Eddie knew better than to catch feelings for you, but in the span of only a few short weeks he was head over heels.

And really, he’d always thought you were gorgeous, which didn’t help the situation any - Eddie shouldn’t have let your pretty face get to him, but he just couldn’t help himself. 

He noticed you from the first moment you sat down at the desk in front of him in history class back in ‘82; you collapsed into the seat with an annoyed huff at something, flipping your hair so that it fell onto the notebook that he was doodling in. Your carelessness had irked Eddie, especially because you always seemed to be invading his space - an irony, considering that he learned later of your disdain for being touched. Your hair or your elbow were always on his desk. Sure, he could’ve said something to you about it, but he had found enjoyment in the scent of your shampoo and the way your elbow would accidentally nudge his hand, prompting you to jump a little and quickly yank your arm to your side.

Hell, the one time Eddie walked into the classroom to find you sitting on his desk while caught up in conversation, it made him nervous; although he’d built this reputation for himself of being a freak willing to say and do anything, he couldn’t find it in his power to ask you to simply move. You were so cold, hence the nickname bestowed upon you by peers, and he found that quality to be both terrifying and hypnotizing at the same time.

Then there was that day when you accidentally knocked over your bag when the bell rang, and Eddie immediately jumped to help collect your scattered belongings without a second thought. While others stepped around the two of you, you watched in surprise as the resident freak picked up pens and erasers, a stray tube of lipstick in a color that was now discontinued. It was the first time Eddie got to see your genuine smile, and he was riding that high for the rest of the week. It had only lasted for a split second because your friends were calling you to hurry up, but you gave him that dazzling smile, not even saying a word as you then breezed past him and out the door.

Back then, Eddie had enough wherewithal to avoid ever developing feelings for you - you were bitchy, you had an attitude problem, and you were prone to rudeness constantly. You made it easy for him, in that respect - he could look at your pretty face all he wanted, but feel no desire to get to know you any better. So what if you had an amazing smile and he loved the smell of your hair? Eddie didn’t need to get hung up on a popular girl with seemingly no redeeming qualities.

Following that school year, Eddie figured it was just a crush-by-proximity - you two hadn’t had a class together after that, so he never saw you and, therefore, never really thought about you. And so it stayed that way, until this year - when he saw you sitting in math class on that first day of school, he was briefly reminded of the sweet smell of your shampoo, of that smile that he’d never seen on your face again. But that was that, or so Eddie thought.

Seeing you, the ice princess, waiting for him at the picnic table on that fateful day was nearly startling to him; he’d already guessed that the note in his locker was from some preppy chick if the handwriting was any indicator, but for whatever damn reason you hadn’t even crossed his mind. You made him feel nervous immediately, although he was never going to let that on. No, he played up his confidence and his antics, keeping you on your toes so that he wouldn’t feel so damn anxious around you and your cruel stare.

Hell, before that meeting at the picnic tables, he’d never really taken notice of the charming sound of your voice or the pretty color of your eyes, but then those things immediately became all he could think about. Eddie knew he shouldn’t have agreed to your crazy idea, but for whatever damn reason, he couldn’t turn you down; even then, a part of him wanted to give you everything he possibly could, as crazy as that was.

Like an idiot, he tried to set out rules for himself, much like your attempts to create rules for the fake relationship:

Don’t let all the pretend dating get to his head

Keep his distance whenever possible

No spending time with you unnecessarily

Don’t get stupidly jealous of your ex

Follow your lead

It seemed simple enough, and yet Eddie managed to break all of his rules in rapid succession, one right after the other. He should’ve known things wouldn’t go according to plan, that his feelings wouldn’t be reciprocated and that he was just a means to an end.

But then Rick’s party happened, and you threw Eddie and his entire perspective for a goddamn loop. Leading up to that, he already knew things were different between you two, but he couldn’t have predicted that you’d drunkenly kiss him, let alone with the fervor in which you did it. Shit, that night made his head spin, and foolishly he thought maybe that kiss had meant something, that maybe you’d admit that you were secretly harboring feelings for him, too.

Considering the kind of whirlwind that life had been since then, Eddie couldn’t even venture to guess if there was actually something going on between the two of you or not. Clearly you were friends, clearly you’d come to depend on his companionship, but he couldn’t possibly fathom that you actually liked him in the same way he liked you.

Yet you'd get nervous when he looked at you a certain way, or you’d avert your gaze when he said something suggestive; you’d get a particular look on your face when Eddie was being serious about a subject, or you’d bite your lip if you two locked eyes for too long. How was he supposed to interpret it when you’d grow tense at his touch, or when he’d lean in too close and your eyes would go wide?

And, fuck, Eddie hadn’t been able to stop thinking about that day when you looked as if you were going to drool over the goddamn ketchup on his fingers. That look on your face had taken up permanent residence in his head, making his alone time all the more torturous when he tried in vain not to think about you.

Eddie couldn’t resist laying it on extra trick following that, flirting with you more blatantly just to see how you’d react. Clearly, he made you nervous, but he couldn’t quite tell why - was the flirting a good thing or a bad thing, did you love it or loathe it?

Could he have just asked you directly what you were feeling? Yes, Eddie supposed he could, but he wasn’t particularly brave enough for that potentially cruel rejection.

Sure, whatever may or may not be going on between the two of you was odd, ridiculous even, but Eddie would much rather deal with that than risk losing it by asking you the all too simple question. He could handle a whole year of this tension so long as it meant spending time with you, so Eddie chose not to have that potentially fatal discussion.

And so, you two were in something of a limbo, stuck in a way that the both of you had come to accept, silly as it may be.

Once Eddie was settled into his throne (which you still rolled your eyes at), he reminded everyone of where they left off in their adventure, the recap confusing you as an unwilling spectator.

 “Now, gentlemen, if you remember our last meeting, you were all left penniless following a camp raid, and the party is in desperate need of funds in order to continue this quest.” Eddie looked eagerly around the group, a wicked smile on his lips as he settled his gaze on you; you gave him a suspicious look, suddenly nervous about why exactly he was staring at you like that.

He returned his animated face to the group around the table, “Luckily, you're only about a day’s trek from the Ten Towns Valley of Icewind Dale; you have enough supplies to make that journey, but you won’t make it any further without funds and the proper equipment. It might be in your best interest to visit the tyrannical Ice King who rules this realm - there’s rumor he’s willing to pay a handsome fee for those daring enough to accept the quest he has in store.”

As the group began to excitedly talk amongst themselves about what this side quest may be, you stared at Eddie with intrigue, to which he simply gave you a giddy look. He leaned over to whisper in your ear.

“Excited yet?”

“For what?” You questioned, although you already knew this had something to do with the “special” campaign he claimed to have come up with. But instead of answering you, Eddie winked with a charming smile, looking back at the club with faux seriousness.

“Well, what’s the party’s decision?”

The group all exclaimed, voices overlapping as they agreed to visit this Ice King character.

At that moment, you realized what Eddie may be implying with that title, and you quickly shot him a look; as if he could read your mind, his smile grew larger with anticipation. As you two stared at one another, you narrowed your eyes even as you resisted an amused grin, challenging him to explain to you what was going on, but Eddie wouldn’t budge.

It felt like a whirlwind trying to keep up with all the chatter and excitement amongst the boys, your eyes bouncing around the room as they talked over each other, asked Eddie questions, and laughed at jokes that went over your head. Within only a few minutes, you were growing more confused and, thus, more annoyed, and so you tried to find something to keep you preoccupied - you fussed with your nails, flipped through a book, anything to distract you while you were stuck sitting here in the middle of this silly game.

The boys hollered and howled together as they speculated what the quest might be, as they debated how the story might unfold. On occasion, your ears would perk up when Eddie would put on some voice while the group went on their “journey,” but you’d just as quickly become disengaged again.

Eventually something significant must have happened, because abruptly Eddie grabbed the fold-out chair you sat in and dragged it closer to him, causing you to yelp in surprise; the sharp sound of the chair legs whining against the floor made the entire room yell in annoyance and frustration. You gave Eddie a glare, your face knotted as if your ears were ringing, but he seemed entirely unphased as he threw his arm around you; for good measure, you half-heartedly smacked him in the chest as you continued glowering.

“Brave explorers,” Eddie began in a deeper voice, going so far as to change his cadence, clearly becoming a different character, “I, the Ice King, ask but a simple task of you - rescue my daughter, the Ice Princess, who has been kidnapped by my rival. Bring her home safe and sound, and I will pay you a hefty fee.”

Eddie squeezed your shoulder eagerly as the boys once again began to talk amongst themselves, meanwhile you gave him a charmed look, leaning into his side, “Really, the Ice Princess? How creative.”

He leaned in close, his face so close that you could feel his breath against your skin, making your heart skip, “Hey, I’ve got something up my sleeve, don’t worry your pretty little head over the details.”

Luckily, Eddie looked back at the group before he could see the embarrassment that washed across your face at his indirect compliment.

Dustin resolutely spoke for the party, “We will gladly save the Ice Princess from your enemy’s clutches, sire.”

Eddie nodded at him, “Very well. The last known location of Princess…”

When he trailed off, everyone looked at you, causing you to pull a face and glance at Eddie; he, too, had an expectant look in his eyes, “What?”

“Well, the princess needs a name.”

“Then give her my name.” You said it as if that were obvious, your tone biting albeit confused; but everyone simply snickered at the suggestion.

Eddie shook his head teasingly, “Not in D&D; you pick something.”

You rolled your eyes with a huff, “Gladys.”

The group laughed again, although this time clearly in amusement at your humor. Eddie, however, narrowed his eyes at you challengingly, perhaps a little disappointed that you weren’t playing along, “Come on, something more interesting than that.”

You sighed again while glaring at him smally; it’s not that you were wholly averse to being here during their game, but you hadn’t realized you were expected to participate. You bit the inside of your cheek, knowing that there was no point in being stubborn just for the sake of it. And the look on Eddie’s face didn’t help the matter, as despite his own obstinate expression, his eyes seemed all too hopeful that you’d engage with this game. So, you mulled it over for a moment, Eddie watching your face far too attentively in anticipation.

“Fine. Elvira.” You smiled proudly, feeling all too pleased with yourself when Eddie’s eyes lit up at your answer.

“Elvira?” He leaned towards you flirtatiously, “So, you’re the Ice Princess and the Mistress of the Dark?”

“As if you didn’t already know.” You countered playfully, forgetting the rest of the group for a moment.

Eddie gave you one more teasing wink before looking you up and down, then returned his attention to the group. His eyes practically made you melt, and you quickly had to pull yourself together, “So, Princess Elvira was seen being escorted through Luskan by a known hand of the Rebel Prince, so it is believed that he’s taken her prisoner. Do whatever it takes to return the princess back home.”

And so, the game commenced, although you were quickly left in a state of semi-interested confusion yet again - clearly, Princess Elvira wasn’t too significant for the time being, as you were left to entertain yourself as the group engaged with their quest.

Eventually, you huffed, growing antsy as if in need of something - anything - to keep you occupied as you simply sat here. Beside you, Eddie shot you a glance, feeling your languor radiating outward; teasingly, he pinched at your arm, promptly receiving another small smack from you in retaliation.

“Am I supposed to do anything?” You asked smally while leaning towards him, causing Eddie to smirk.

“What, don’t tell me you’re suddenly interested in playing.” He teased as Lucas paused to debate some move he was going to make, though you had no context for what exactly the party was meant to be doing at this moment.

“No, but I’m just sitting here doing nothing.” You answered in a bratty tone. Foolishly, you hadn’t counted on Eddie being so engaged with the group that he couldn’t keep you entertained - you should have figured as much, and yet, you’d grown so accustomed to his attention that it was suddenly strange to not have it.

That was one more thing for you to not read into.

“Darn.” Eddie mocked, and your expression deadpanned, causing him to grin widely. The group drew his attention back just as he looked like he was about to say something more; you watched as his face shifted, getting back into character, and you couldn’t help but smile at it despite your annoyance.

As Eddie narrated whatever scenario the group had just found themselves in, you tried to pay a little more attention, at least in an effort to satiate your boredom - there was something about a snowy mountain pass and an encounter with soldiers of the Rebel Prince.

While the story continued on, you slowly found yourself becoming gripped by it, watching as Eddie verbally guided the group through treacherous landscapes and harrowing enemy encounters; you were beginning to understand, at least to some extent, what Dungeons & Dragons was about.

Sure, the skill checks and abilities and dice rolls were still confusing as ever to you, but the basics were becoming clear - everyone had a character and a role, and they had to rely on Eddie to reveal the story and information to them. That must have been part of the fun, you figured.

And although you weren’t participating, you found that you were also coming to enjoy this - watching Eddie speak in a variety of voices, jumping out of his seat with excitement and histrionically throwing his arms around. Much like when he played guitar, you could see that he was in his element, that his passion and focus had a way of bringing a smile to your face despite a part of you still finding this game to be completely dorky. Yet again, Eddie found a way to charm you, but at the moment you were far too amused to be annoyed by that.

Eventually, Eddie’s narration brought the group to what must have been the climax of the journey - the party had burst into the Keep of the Rebel Prince, prepared to confront him regarding the kidnapping of Princess Elvira. For this, Eddie sunk down into his seat, his posture taking on one of snarky confidence - this must have been for the prince’s characterization. With a smirk, he began in a voice not quite his own.

“So, you’ve found me, gentlemen.” Eddie’s eyes shined eagerly, as if this is what he’d been waiting for the entire time, “I suspected the Ice King would send someone soon enough.”

“We know that you’ve taken the princess prisoner.” Dustin spoke up eagerly, equally as excited as Eddie for whatever was to come next, “And we plan to kill you and take her back!”

Eddie laughed theatrically, and although it was ridiculous that he was doing all this for a simple tabletop game, you couldn’t help but watch him in anticipation, “You will not be killing me nor will you be taking her back, not unless she has anything to say about it.”

Collectively, you all looked at Eddie with expressions full of confusion and curiosity, wondering what he could possibly mean by that. And, clearly, he was absolutely eating this up - you could see just how much Eddie thrilled in the suspense and tension that was building.

“Your dear Ice Princess is going nowhere, you see, because she’s fallen in love with me.”

All at once, the boys began to eagerly talk over one another, delight and surprise amplifying their volume as they tried to make sense of this plot twist. As they conferred with one another, Eddie returned his gaze to you, his eyes alight at the surprise that had crossed your face as you stared back at him, although there was something within his expression that almost seemed to be assessing you.

“How do we know you’re telling the truth?” Mike spoke up, everyone giving Eddie suspicious looks, “How do we know that you haven’t cast some spell on her.”

In a near threatening manner, Eddie leaned forward with an over the top look of menace, daring the group to doubt him, “From the moment I first laid eyes upon her, I was captivated by the princess. I was drawn to her like a magnet, and by some stroke of luck, she was drawn to me as well.”

“Or so you say.” Jeff challenged rousingly.

Eddie looked at you from the corner of his eye, and perhaps you were misreading it, but there was something uncharacteristically guarded about his expression; he quickly looked back to the boys before you could read further into it, “The princess asked that I help her run away from the cruelty of her father, and how could I refuse her all that she asked for? As the Ice King’s rival, she and I both knew he’d never approve of what had grown between us, so we staged the princess’s kidnapping, despite knowing he’d still come after us.”

The corner of your mouth turned up at the obvious parallel, Eddie drawing inspiration from the secret that this entire relationship between you two was a sham. But just as quickly as it amused you, it also made you tense, silly as that may be - sure, he was in character, but something about the Rebel Prince’s confession of love for the princess spiked your nerves.

You realized amidst your reverie that Eddie was looking at you once more, although the moment you made eye contact he looked away. That avoidance only added to your nerves, another wave of anxiety fluttered inside you, but you simply watched on as he, and the rest of the group, continued.

“For the princess, I’d do anything.” Eddie continued, his tone serious enough that you’d believe him if this wasn’t just a game, “Kill for her, die for her - and I’m willing to take on each and every one of you if that’s what it comes to.”

The group quickly conferred, deciding what their course of action should be now that this shocking information was revealed. All the while, you continued staring at Eddie with wonder, wishing that his fictional little story hadn’t made you feel something, that it hadn’t made you begin to question and wonder at things. He refrained from gazing back at you, furthering your curiosity.

“We want to hear from the princess.” Gareth finally spoke up for everyone; Eddie tilted his head playfully in response, “If what you say is true, we want her to confirm it. And then we’ll decide whether or not we fight you.”

An eager smile spread wide across Eddie’s lips as he went on to describe the way a set of doors opened to reveal Princess Elvira, detailing how she entered the room with a calm, graceful, hypnotic demeanor. Eventually, he and the boys all looked back at you expectantly, and you realized with a start that you were now expected to finally participate, to speak for this character that barely existed within the scope of the story.

You looked between them all with trepidation, eyes practically imploring Eddie to help you figure out what the hell you were supposed to do. Now that you were on the spot, all pondering about Eddie had come to a halt, your mind immediately drawing a blank.

“Oh, come on, don’t chicken out now just when things are getting good.” Dustin lambasted excitedly, drawing a glare out of you as everyone shared a small laugh, “Well? Is the princess being manipulated, or does she actually have feelings for the Rebel Prince?”

You pulled a bit of a hesitant face before sighing, returning your eyes to Eddie as if seeking assistance, as if you needed help forming whatever sentences he wanted to keep the narrative rolling. He was finally able to actually look you in the eye again, simply nod before falling back into character.

“Well, princess, what do you say?”

For another moment you chewed the inside of your cheek before starting tentatively, voice unsure and plain; you held Eddie’s gaze hesitantly, “It’s… true. The Rebel Prince and I are… in love?”

You couldn’t help but huff out a confused laugh at how strange it felt to now be involved in the boys’ dorky little game. And it felt even stranger to allude to love between you and Eddie, even if it were through your characters; you nearly felt a chill on the nerves it made you feel.

“I don’t find that very convincing.” Grant teased as if he were trying to rally the party against the Rebel Prince’s supposed lie. Your jaw tightened a little at the challenge, and so you continued while looking from Eddie to him, growing nervous as if you - not Princess Elvira - were the one being interrogated.

“Everything he said is the truth,” You tried again, hoping that by looking away from Eddie you would somehow keep your cool. Why were you feeling butterflies in your stomach? It’s not as if you were admitting your feelings for Eddie, you reminded yourself. You attempted to swallow your nerves while figuring out what to say next, trying to find this character within yourself, “My father is heartless and hateful, it was suffocating. The Prince is kind and caring and a far cry from all the bad things people have called him… how could I not fall for him?”

There was a shared look of approval from the group - clearly, they were now pleased with this surprise narrative that Eddie had put together and pleased with your participation. As they huddled together once again, you glanced over at Eddie nervously; there was a faint smile on his lips and a light in his eyes that you couldn’t place, that made you anxious in combination with the not-confession you just made.

“As you boys can see, all your efforts were for nothing.” Eddie said to the group condescendingly, which once more seemed to rally them to argue, “So, either you leave us in peace, or I’ll be forced to strike you down.”

And so commenced another bout of debate and dice rolls, the boys deciding to fight in an effort to get their reward rather than show sympathy to the prince and princess. By their skills and luck, the characters eventually defeated the Rebel Prince, choosing to take him prisoner, intent on dragging both he and the princess back to the Ice King.

But then Eddie called it a night, deciding that the Hellfire Club would pick this narrative back up next week considering how long they’d already been at it. You were simultaneously glad and disappointed - you’d just begun to understand the game, to be a part of it, but you’d also been growing tired as the evening wore on.

So, once everything was wrapped up and put back in its place, you all exited the school together, the night air colder than you’d expected, which made you shiver. Being late October, you knew that you had to start dressing more appropriately for the weather, but you weren’t quite ready to give up your short skirts and thin shirts quite yet. You were willing to freeze your ass off just a little for the sake of fashion, shallow as that may sound; and, you simply hated wearing pants and layers.

Seeing the way you shivered and tightened your arms at your side, Eddie slipped off his jacket without hesitation, draping it over your shoulders. Nervously, you gave him a thankful look, hoping he didn’t catch the way you inhaled the scent of leather and cigarettes and musk. 

Eventually, everyone had parted ways, and you were comfortably situated in Eddie’s passenger seat with your knees tucked under you. As had become habit, you watched Eddie as he drove, studying the way the streetlights hit the planes of his face, smiling at the way his hands drummed along to the music against the steering wheel.

“So, what you think?” He asked with a quick glance at you.

“Pretty dorky.” You responded, although you quickly added, “But… fun.”

“I’m sorry, could you repeat that for me?” Eddie teased with a mischievous grin pointing at his ear in emphasis; you rolled your eyes, “Did the ice princess just say she had fun playing D&D with a bunch of nerds?”

“Shut up.” You countered half-heartedly, sharing a smile with him.

“Does that mean you want to come next week?”

Your brow furrowed a little, “We’ll be at the Halloween party.”

Eddie waved a hand, “We’ll go after, I’ll make it short.”

You sighed through your nose in consideration; if you went to more Hellfire Club sessions, would you just be sitting there idly as much as you were tonight? How could you participate? Would they even want you to? Did you actually want to?

“Fine… but don’t get used to it.” The simple response brought another bright smile to Eddie’s face.

“Oh, you’ll be begging to go in no time, I guarantee it.”

“I’m sure you’d love to see me beg.” You didn’t think the words through until they’d already spilled out of your mouth, causing your eyes to immediately widen and your shoulders to tense. Beside you, you could see the way Eddie’s own expression faltered, clearly catching the accidental innuendo, too. Fumbling over yourself for a moment, you tried to put on your best disinterested tone, as if you were none the wiser of the implications in your previous statement, “As if that would ever happen, though.”

Eddie blew air between his lips, also trying to play off that brief instance of tension, laughing falsely, “Yeah, yeah, that’s not happening.”

You could feel a shiver of anxiety all throughout your body, wondering what Eddie thought of what you just said, wondering why D&D felt a little too candid when you finally had the chance to speak. You had to have been blowing this out of proportion, your nerves simply getting the better of you - yeah, it was just this stupid crush of yours making you second guess things, making you overreact. There was no way Eddie was confessing anything to you back there, and you weren’t exactly confessing anything to him either.

Shit, you really had to keep yourself in check, because this crush was seriously getting out of hand.

.

.

@3rd-conchord @a-queen-blr @adelalaaa @adversary713 @avalon-wolf

@costellation-hunter @daisy-munson @daisyridleyss @damon-loves-pie @damp4eddie

@delilaaahhh @dreamerjj @eddiernunson @em0220 @feralgoblinbabe

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@twihard28 @welcometohellsock @whats-my-question @xxsxdghxstxx

[shunnedmorlock]

Hi! What are your opinions on each of the greens ?

Have a good day/night!

Otto: I think he gets a bad rap, not in absolute terms but relatively to the people like Viserys and Daemon. If you hate Otto for pushing Alicent to marry Viserys, you should hate Viserys much, much more. Otto is "merely" complicit in what happened. There was no one Vissy could've said no to more effectively than Otto. It just goes to a double standard you see a lot with these farcical black-green debates where people change their opinions on whether it's ok to judge people by in-universe standards depending on what "team" they're a part of. He has a habit of telling unfortunate truths that get him in trouble, but most of the things he says are just, like, objectively true, but people don't want to hear it. Daemon is actually a danger to the realm and his brother, Rhaenyra does actually have to give the scions of great houses a hearing, Daemon did actually groom Rhaenyra to claim the throne, Alicent's children do pose an inherent threat to Rhaenyra by their mere existence.

From a Doylist perspective, like many other things, I think episode 9 really butchered Otto's character. All of a sudden the guy who has been working hand in hand with his daughter for the past few episodes didn't tell her about the plot to seat her son on the throne??? And now the guy who got fired by Aegon for being too slow and measured in his war planning is pushing to kill Rhaenyra immediately? And he wants to send the Kingsguard to do clandestine assassin work? And he's reluctant to ban child fighting pits for like no reason? I'm sorry, you don't have to be a feminist to not like that!

Alicent: I have talked about her at length. Nixonian Queen. I kneel. The war will make her worse, and I enjoy it. One of the characters I think on-balance the show improved.

Criston: Not a good guy by any means, but dismissing him as just a resentful incel is just boring. It's very clear he was, at best, conflicted about his tryst with Rhaenyra to begin with - he liked her, they had a lot of chemistry, but he does genuinely believe in his vows. The marriage thing is obviously silly and naive, but from his perspective it's him trying to do right by her (and also preserve himself and his soul), which puts him a step above many other Westerosi men who canonically often feel no obligations to the women they sleep with outside of marriage or the children created. There is a real difference in values between him and Rhaenyra that goes beyond him hating women, even if his values aren't strictly speaking good. I'm sorry, but the fact that a Westerosi man is as sexually repressed as an average Westerosi woman is genuinely a point in his favor! I sincerely hope he and Alicent make each other worse. Substantially improved by the show.

Aegon: This is going to be controversial, but baffling/over-the-top/ill-thought-out decisions like Dyana and the child fighting pits aside, I much prefer this version of Aegon to F&B. I don't care that he's kind of pathetic, that's fun, that's drama, that gives room for character development and growth into the king he ends up becoming. It's clear the writers do want Aegon to be kind of sympathetic, but it seems they didn't consider what stuff like Dyana would do to that, which to me indicates they meant the focus of that scene to be Alicent and her behavior, not Aegon. Which is stupid. One of the worse victims of inconsistent characterization, switching between vaguely sympathetic drunken frat bro to outright sex criminal every episode, or even in the same episode.

Helaena: I like what they've done with her. It's more interesting for her to be a doomed neurodivergent prophetess than just a little dumb, even though she hasn't done a ton so far. Similarly, in an RP I was a part of, Jaehaera was depicted as not simple, just autistic and it was much more interesting.

Aemond: BORING! Don't care about this guy, sorry. Maybe I'll like him more when he is pathetically down-bad for Alys Rivers, but right now he's just like budget Daemon to me, who I also find boring. He was more interesting as a bullied teen.

Larys: He's a tough guy to adapt because his motivations are kind of nonsensical behind a vague idea of getting back at Rhaenyra (?) for dishonoring his brother (??) by putting his children in line for the throne (???). The foot thing is kind of gross and I do wish they'd have given him an actual motivation but whatever. The actor's good and I do like him and Alicent on balance. Improved by the adaptation.

Tyland: We love our little bureaucrat don't we folks? Hope he gets more screen time later on.

Jasper Wylde: FUCK YOU SHOWRUNNERS WHY IS THE GUY WHO HAS HAD ONE LINE THIS ENTIRE SEASON PART OF THE COUP BUT NOT ALICENT FUCKING HIGHTOWER??????

[sarafangirlart]

Netflix's Khaos will be a bad adaptation. We can see it will go towoards a more horor vibe (the legs on the wall, the water screans), but it will be a bad adaptation. I bet there is little to no Greek about it (basicly taken the Greek Gods out of the culture, history they come from) isntead they Americanise it, will be full of "WTF they wouldn't say that" momeonts. From the triller, and other things I can't even tell wich god is which, wich should be one of the basics when you adopt, or base something on Greek mythology, the only ovious one is Zeus. Honestly if they repleced the gods with rich American mafia family little to nothing would change.

I mean… probably, but a horror comedy vibe would work so well for Greek mythology so I would hope that it would at least be entertaining, but yeah the Americanization of Greek culture is definitely an issue and ppl are becoming more and more aware of it so honestly, if this show came out 10 years ago no one would bat an eye but now that the Americanization became more and more apparent to ppl nowadays I don’t think it will get a whole lot of positive reception.

Honestly my biggest gripe is that they have these random ocs no one cares about trying to fulfill a prophecy when it would’ve been much more compelling to have actual Greek mythology characters who have been horribly screwed over by the gods like Callisto, Cassandra, Auge, Io, Leda, Helen, Alcmene and so many others (no Medusa doesn’t count) ig the writers realized this and added Andromache? Idk I don’t have high hopes for the show…

This show tries to be a subversion but it falls into all the tropes Hollywood falls into when it tries to adapt mythology, like having the gods depend on the worship of mortals to keep their powers (which is stupid bc wtf did they do before humans were created?) and also have a save the world plot when what made Greek mythology so compelling is that most stories have relatively “low” and personal stakes with only one city or household on the line, or in the case of Perseus his mother and adoptive family, if Perseus failed the world would just go on, but that doesn’t mean his story isn’t compelling or that there isn’t any tension, we’ve seen what Perseus and Danaë went through and we (the audience) want them to be safe and happy, so there is no need to make him save the world to make an exciting story.

So I kinda wish that this show was just about Zeus and Hera and their family drama, rather than yet another save the world plot.

[woodchipp]

@siezult

Alright, so.

Why did Basil show up? Because this is a dramatic scene and the drama genre relies on inconveniences to make the situation worse for the characters and progress the plot. Yeah it is convenient, but thats kinda the point?

It's one thing when the situation is made worse via a believable circumstance that is, even if it's slightly improbable, is explained by the story itself. I can suspend my disbelief then. It is, however, very different when the situation is made worse via a random occurence that's not only highly improbable, but is left entirely unexplained. In the latter case, it's usually bad writing.

Contrived coincidences are not inherently a bad trope. Tropes are tools, after all. There's a reason said trope is mostly used in comedies, though - make a coincidence too contrived in any other genre, and the story intended to be serious will become farce instead.

If you want an in-universe reason, Basil’s parents arent there to drive him to the ceremony, so he decides to stay at sunny’s house the night before so they can take him there.

There is no proof of this in the game.

I wouldn’t say she “didn’t tolerate mistakes”

I never said that either.

I wouldn’t say its out of character for her to react that way because its perfectly human to react negatively when annoyed, especially when its about something she really cares about like her music. I think it shows more of her character that she isn’t perfect all the time and will sometimes have a bad side.

My point was that her 'bad side" is only relevant to the story when it's needed to give Sunny a reason to lash out at her. It has no bearing on her character otherwise. I've said as such in the post.

Finally, why are you insinuating that Sunny is this awful person?

Because I have proof he is.

Like, yes, his accident was awful, and he shouldn’t have lied to everyone, but at the same time, he was fucking 12. A mortified 12-year old scared shitless of what will happen to him after people find out about his manslaughter will obviously make dumb decisions; he clearly wasn’t thinking straight at the time and was just doing what he got told would “fix” the situation.

Honestly, I'm sick of this argument. I've seen it so many times it's not even funny at this point.

1) You're talking about Sunny as if you are defending a real kid. He is a fictional character whose decisions have been predetermined by an adult writer, and thus I will judge said decisions accordingly.

2) "He's 12" removes Sunny's agency as a character - by your logic and the logic of essentially everyone using this argument, he can't be held responsible for anything bad he ever does for the sole reason of being a stupid kid. A 12 yo may be immature, impulsive and inexperienced, but not necessarily stupid.

3) A "mortified" 12-year-old who "wasn't thinking straight at the time" would not feel "at peace" upon seeing his sister's hanged body.

If anything you should be mad at Basil for making the decision to lie and dragging Sunny in on it.

1) Basil wouldn't have needed to lie if it wasn't for Sunny fucking up in the first place lmao

2) It's true Basil created the lie, but it was Sunny who chose to uphold it.

I think being a depressed, suicidal, possibly anorexic shut-in for 4 years is quite a punishment.

An entirely internal and self-inflicted one, yes. My point was that he suffers no external consequences (e.g. his friends leaving him since they're pissed at him), and the canonical state of the group after the confession is left ambiguous.

I'm not going to feel bad for an asshole whose only remarkable trait is feeling bad for himself all the time without ever doing much.

it’s implied Sunny’s parents knew, and was the reasoning for his dad leaving.

Source that isn't a single contextless quote in Black Space 2?

If his parents actually knew the truth all along, they woukd've been a lot more relevant to the game's plot. As it is, it's more likely the father left because the suicide of his daughter destroyed the marriage.

him “conveniently skipping town” wasn’t his choice. He didn’t intend to avoid repercussions by moving

That's why the word "conveniently" is there - it's true it wasn't his choice to move, but it still reads as a convenient way for the story to let him off the hook.

him moving was the catalyst for the games events as its when sunny decides to tell his friends the truth and give them closure, meaning Sunny is well aware that his friends would likely hate him, but thinks it would be for the better for them to know.

1) Source?

2) This implies Sunny would've been perfectly content to continue upholding Basil's lie were it not for external circumstances forcing him to come clean.

3) Given that Sunny wants to come clean purely for his own peace of mind, this also implies Sunny doesn't decide to reveal the truth out of a genuine desire to make things right - he wants to do it just because he has a deadline and he needs to get his weight off his shoulders while he still has the time.

[kmze]

Dry-ass (Sorry not sorry) didn't just cause damage to SC.She caused damage to the characters as well.Caroline and Bonnie were established as self-empowered women in s6.By the end of s7,they both were in a devastating state,emotionally, psychologically and physically.As for Stefan,the damaged,layered,dark yet intelligent and intutitive Stefan was gone.Instead,he was acting more Damon-like.While Damon played the bad guy for kicks,Stefan enjoyed being bad when he wanted to but he chose to be compassionate and showed empathy too. His IQ level had dropped severely and was getting easily outmanipulated,despite being a great social manipulator, although whether by choice or not that is up for debate.What happened to the "Better Villain"?Was it actor's choice?

His story was so close to that of Tyler's in s4-big bad with British accent,dumb revenge schemes,mom's death,keeping caroline out of the loop,going on the run.In fact,there were a couple of scenes which were similar to that of TC e.g When Stefan was watching Caroline from outside of her house like Tyler did in s2 possibly.The only difference was this time Caroline was with that low-life.Another was when Stefan and Caroline had a heart to heart.TC had a similar conversation in s2.The dialogues were so similar that I just didn't understand what the hell were they even trying to do.It's like playing out an old relationship using different actor and maybe creating a slightly different circumstance not for any narrative purpose but just for drama which was blatantly manufactured.No wonder Stefan's choices didn't make any internal sense for him.And since you mentioned about Stefan's ripper gene,I remembered how that was like Tyler's werewolf gene.Both were unaware of it until they were informed by a family member.I know the mythology may not be similar in any way but I think the writers had simply lost control over what and how much they would recycle.At least Klaus being a 1000 year immortal hybrid banishing Tyler made some sense.Why and how were all the century old vampires so scared of Matt F***ing Donovan banishing them from Mystic Falls???Just snap his stupid neck!!!With Tyler they never bothered to show how he broke the sire bond.They just told it.With Stefan,the phoenix scar was such a terrible plot device to separate SC.It reminded me of Elena being sired to Damon in s4.Hell even the tvd half of the crossover was unnecessarily contrived and melodramatic.They had Klaus tell Stefan something along the lines of- misery,paranoia will strip you off your desire to live- which was similar to what he had said about Tyler to Hayley after banishing him from MF.Klaus was giving unsolicited advice to Caroline and restricting her identity to simply being a mom while the narrative was desperately trying to convince that Stefan lacked emotional intelligence and wisdom to be in a real relationship.He was making unilateral decisions while Caroline was a whole another story. However,the TO half of crossover was much better written keeping the history of Klefan in mind.Not sure who wrote it but they gave the respect to SC which they deserved in just one episode that their own show didn't in 22 episodes.

Sorry this got so long.Talking to you brought back so many memories.

LOL Dry-ass I forgot that well deserved nickname *snort*

Yeah anon I agree, S7 was such a letdown season because I just don't think CD is capable of writing things she doesn't personally like, I remember even the first episode SC felt "off". I mean they were very cute but some of it lacked substance and the dialog didn't feel like them (except the last scene) and it was written by her (should have been my first clue about that season). Whereas 7x04 was vintage Steroline, the dialog, the chemistry even the story of teaming up to "babysit" the murderous heretics was so them (they love playing the game).

That's a really interesting comparison to Tyler in S4 though that I never really thought of, I'm getting into Tyler and Caroline's story in S2 so I'm going to look at for what you brought up in comparison to SC in S7. It doesn't surprise me that CD would do that either, like I said I don't think she cared enough about the S7 characters (her favorite was Katherine IMO) so going back to older seasons and rewriting it fits her MO. I absolutely agree on him being outsmarted that season like ugh, I felt a lot of that was CD making a concerted effort to not have minimal Lily and Stefan interaction and she never continued the ripper-gene talk (and yes the werewolf gene is genetic too). I also don't think CD cares about the character of Stefan outside of him being Katherine's prize. The revenge plot wasn't out of character for him but Julian was very *snore* it felt like murder-Thanksgiving was much closer to how Stefan usually operates as the "better villain to beat the villain". I just remember Dries talked sooooo much before the season aired about Damon/Lily/Stefan being the new "triangle" and we got like 3 scenes of that and then she was dead by episode 8!

I probably need to rewatch S7 to really remember how the storyline really played out, it's been a while so my memory is foggy but yes like WHO CARES WHAT MATT SAYS! Moron shot his fiancée accidentally and I'm supposed to believe supernatural creatures care what he says, please. I was more bothered by the show trying to undermine how much Stefan knew Caroline and vice versa, that was all Dries and I'm glad JP tried to fix it in the second half but still, I hope CD steps on a lego everyday for her transgressions.

[la-pheacienne]

I'm still wondering what kind of brain jump Sara Hess had from going to writing Alicent as a spiteful bitch that forces Rhaenyra to talk the Keep with her new born to... Become full crying Ninicent that doesn't wanna hurt Rhaenyra, but at the same time she 'defies' her father (except she doesn't because she is still doing exactly what he wants), she has power to command over who her daughter marries but then she doesn't know about the coup to install her son in the throne... What was going on in that woman's head? Did she write the episodes in the wrong order? Did she regret writing Alicent as a bitch in the first place? Do these people even do first drafts of these scripts or they are just so arrogant that they never check their own co consistency? I remember once watching an interview with Steven Moffat about a Doctor Who episode saying he actually regretted the episode was like that but that he couldn't get to the deadline to check on the script more and had to sadly give the actors his rough draft and hope for the best (the episode wasn't even bad but there was awkward dialogue and it showed). There was humility there, I don't see that in the HOTD writers, especially not in Hess and Condal.

Sorry, but as a writer, their lack of consistence drives me insane. Especially when they expect us to love Alicent and get mad when we don't. 😂

@ladyalianora I honestly cannot explain what happened in her head. It's truly inexplicable. My guess is that they tried to create a "complex" character but they have no idea what a complex character actually is, and especially in the context of a "medieval European history based fictional drama" (Idk how else to call it). They don't know anything about the historical context that inspires this kind of stories, they don't know anything about actual female rulers and historical events that inspired the author of the source material and even better, they don't know anything about the source material itself. Maybe they read the book like once, but in a very casual manner, without investing, without understanding. They didn't adapt the source material, they were inspired by the source material to do their own, completely different and shitty story.

Another guess is that they wanted to differentiate themselves so hard from Game of Thrones, in all the wrong ways, of course. Something that didn't really exist in Game of Thrones is this kind of alliance/deep bond between two women that is destroyed by men. So they wanted to do that. The problem is, this thing didn't exist in Game of Thrones for the simple reason that GRRM didn't write it, and he didn't write it because it's crap. The alternatives are so much better. And what's sad is that it could be kind of interesting, if they wrote it as a backstory/villain origin story. It would actually be cool. Actually, what's pathetic about this whole thing is this : this whole friendship/love between Alicent and Rhaenyra has narrative weight ONLY if it's terminally crushed and burned by Alicent's betrayal. Like, Alicent's betrayal (real betrayal that Alicent truly chose and is accountable for) would literally give actual depth in this friendship/love plot they went for. If there is no betrayal, if there is no definite and clear catalyst, what is the POINT of this stupid friendship? What is the point of this friendship in the narrative? It's useless.

They added this stupid friendship/romantic bond to show what? What is the tragedy in this? They were friends and remain friends but everyone else is fucking up this friendship and look how sad it is because they are friends and nobody can break this friendship except that it's broken except that it isn't? Lol? This is literally not how stories work?

And all the inconsistencies this creates Jesus Christ. If Alicent is truly afraid that Rhaenyra will put her children to the sword then she SHOULDN'T give A FUCK about her life. That's like, basic common logic? We're talking about her own fucking children here? If Alicent was afraid of Rhaenyra and isn't to blame then why didn't she betroth her daughter to Jace which would LITERALLY secure her and her whole family? Oh because Jace is plain featured and a bastard. So, it's not that she's afraid, it's that she's a self serving treasonous conservative bitch. A self serving treasonous conservative bitch that has to give sexual favours to her servants so that they can obey her? Doesn't compute. NOTHING computes. So she's neither treasonous nor innocent. What the fuck is she?

But in order to understand all of this one needs to respect the source material written by a person who is FAR more competent than them, who has dedicated decades of his life reading history and studying real rulers and creating his world. If one doesn't give a fuck about the source material it's ok, one needs to be an extremely competent writer with deep knowledge of the rules of narrative and tragedy. Are these people qualified? How? Where? In Orange is the new Black ? Please.

[cto10121]

review for shadow and bone, season 2, the good, the bad, and the ugly. spoilers, of course

well. i really should have seen this coming. i guess i did, but my poor darklina heart clouded me to my better judgment. yes, they did it. the series committed the exact same errors as the book series. alina kills the darkling and (sort of but not really) kills mal and then brings him back with nina’s help. alina keeps her powers and mal becomes a privateer under the sturmhond name.

i will say, however, that the execution was much better than bardugo’s, and there were some thematic echoes and parallels that weren’t too shabby. it was entertaining (though the pacing was god-awful at parts). and as infuriating as them going the book route is, they did leave some things open. i’ll just hugo montenegro-it

the good:

a lot of the forced teen drama in the book series is mercifully gone. mal being jealous of nikolai, and just…book mal being book mal is completely gone. totally expected, but still good

alina not losing her powers. all par de course, since these writers are clearly not that stupid

kaz absolutely destroying pekka rollins. genuinely badass and well acted. freddy carter was nothing less than magnificent when he finally gets to show off. i wasn’t at all sure of his casting at first, but he did pull through here

wylan/jesper was good? yeah, it was, very hot together (height differences!). i was not particularly fond of jesper tsundere-ing wylan at first for no good reason and then suddenly hooking up with him again once he remembers their first hook-up, also for no good reason, but whatever. they’re both hot and am a simple girl alas

the series did a great job in establishing kaz’s aversion to touch and backstory, even if it did belabor the point at times. good that they took it seriously

as much as i hate what they did with the darkling, i am glad they deleted his more cartoonishly voldemort shit in the book. genya’s scarring is more justified (still doesn’t sit right, though) in this context

alina and mal not getting together. small comfort, i know. since they’ve beaten their grand love to dead over our heads, they’re almost definitely endgame. but considering the darkling comes back in the books and the bee at the end…idk, i feel even these anti writers will realize just how much indispensable he is. they’re probably going for a dark!alina arc, so alina and the darkling may probably finally be equals, just in a roundabout way

they also deleted some of the more egregious moments from the book, like the random slaughter of the volcra and alina taking over the little palace by force and installing herself as commander. well, for the latter they pretty much just…elided that entirely, didn’t they? meanwhile they had to create a whole new rationale for mal becoming commander (nah, he just wears the uniform, tolya and tamar are just in charge). bah, i’m just grateful the “good guys”’s fuckery was toned down

er, that’s it

the bad:

the pacing was atrocious, both too rushed and too slow at parts. some of the crows fans are already complaining about the most important moments taken from the duology and placed out of context, but honestly they still have the ice court and jurda parem, so there is still plenty of material and re-jiggering. the alina storyline, though, not good

the dropped storylines. what about the war with shu han? wouldn’t they think to attack just as ravka is at its most vulnerable? also, why would a shu saint ever give the sword that her husband stole for her to a ravka-born sun summoner? like, no

also re: dropped storylines: mal getting arrested by the first army and kidnapped, and then just…getting away without an explanation how? this season really was crammed full of way too much plot

the sankta neyra plotline did some good and bad things. good in that they draw up a thematic parallel to the rest of the action (immortal/mortal pairings, closed/open to love). bad in that it also served to demonize the darkling once more. the darkling’s problem isn’t that he isn’t open to love!!!! if anything bitch was too open!!!! and he is clearly still in love with alina at the end. being closed to love due to trauma is kaz’s issue to overcome. the show’s IQ points fluctuate so much, i can’t. and they tend to lose it the most when it comes to the darkling

they really leaned into tsundere!kaz, which dampened a lot of my enthusiasm for the inej/kaz romance. it came to feel very one-sided for different reasons. also, inej’s own skin trauma isn’t as well established as kaz’s, so all of it feels as if the trauma is kaz’s problem to overcome in order for them to get together. which really sucks re: the mutual pining in the books. and now there’s the new inej/toyia hint out of nowhere. the fangirls are pleased, but from a writing standpoint, why? for yet another love triangle?

nikolai. the character is likeable, but with little of that roguish charm that at least made him interesting. the actor they cast had more golden retriever jock vibes than anything else. having nikolai say that he couldn’t have gotten the crown without alina’s reputation as a saint was just laughable

they retconned baghra’s character so hard, didn’t they? i loved the actress, her delivery was so crisp and clear, but of course the writing doesn’t in the least acknowledge the darkling’s trauma at her hands at all

alina’s character took such a painful nosedive into girlboss. as much as i am constantly frustrated with book alina, she at least had empathetic moments (she felt for the slaughtered volcra). if nothing else, she was attracted to the darkling and mourned for him. not show alina, though. show alina is emotionally shallow, strong with none of the vulnerabilities, and at the end, just downright unpleasant

same complaint as last season, but the crows are just not as charismatic as in their book series. it’s just hard to take them seriously amid literal fantasy epic magic. the casting is very good, though, better than the alina side save ben barnes

speak of the devil: ben barnes was absolutely wasted. arguably the best actor playing a character with lots of potential, but the show just. did not let him round his character. the script did him absolutely no favors and cut a lot of his screen time. he got two good actor-y moments with him being devastated over baghra and not being able to control the nichhevo’ya but that’s basically it?

not the worst, but the tie-in of the crows to the main storyline via the shadow-cutting sword. for one very convenient sword, they journey to shu han. really? alina’s sun powers should have been enough, or at the very least she should have handled the sword and combined it with her light powers, but as the show simply refused to have a proper showdown between her and the darkling…ugh, it’s a mess

the ugly:

alina killing the darkling in cold blood when he wasn’t even attacking her. as in, right when he was imagining their very first kiss in season 1. fuck you, show. the minute the darkling died, the show died. end of story. it is shadow and bone, after all, and what do those refer to? that’s right. my darling darkling done dirty, indeed.

the show recontextualizing alina and the darkling’s magical zoom calls. alina sees him not because she loves him, lol, that’s ridiculous, but because she still has ptsd from his ~violation!!! and of course baghra somehow managed to cut their connection with yet another baghra-block. shut up, shut up, shut up

again, the darkling becoming worse. yes, he used merzost, but he already used it and the fold came about, and he was still fine. he uses it again and he gets…a really bad cough.

don’t think i didn’t notice all the pale faces on the darkling’s side versus the POC in alina’s and nikolai’s side, show. never mind that the grisha are the de-facto POC of this show and actual skin color never is a true problem and/or relevant. very cheap and manipulative of you, show

the darkling strangling alina. no. the darkling was objectively worse in the books and yet he didn’t lift a finger against alina in physical violence. after she had tried to kill him, his reaction was basically a shrug and a yeah, well, same. once again, fuck you, show. (and even then they still had the best chemistry with each other)

alina deciding to trick the darkling in the first place in order to sever the connection. doesn’t even make sense with the show’s canon, since alina’s ptsd would have had her trying to avoid the darkling at all costs. but alina has to girlboss, so in she goes!

“i knew there must have been a reason why i liked you.” there are now 300 darkling/mal fics based on this one line alone, and for that, once again, fuck you, show. also, the darkling also appearing to mal in a dream/magical zoom call was awful.

goodbye, grisha-are-the-persecuted-POC-of-this-world plot theme, we hardly knew ye. losing this aspect, the relentless and varied grisha hate in all the world except in novyi zem, made the whole story and the world’s politics utterly incoherent

again, joining the monarchy was not good optics. i don’t care how woke nikolai was (his change of heart after learning genya was raped was somehow less convincing in the show than in the book) would have preferred it had alina forged her own path and have nikolai deflect to her side. would have been consistent with the underdogs vs. powerful adults theme

to conclude, it’s all a wash. the problems of the original book series were obviously way too hard for these writers to solve, so they fixed all the surface issues instead re: the good guys being unlikeable/jerks in the books. but that only ended up flattening much of the drama and characters. show!alina turns so much against the darkling it’s actually creepy. like she has been possessed by the soul of an anti writer.

once again, the crows are the ones most respected and no doubt loved, but their storylines really don’t cross well and in this context…they’re just not as compelling. the crows’ world is a very different, more down-to-earth, morally gray world than the black-and-white fantasy tripe of shadow and bone. in the end, both stories and characters are diluted. i’m not sure how they are going to recover from killing off the darkling—given that they are going for a dark!alina route and the king of scars duology, then they will almost certainly resurrect him. on the other hand, i don’t want to wait years just to get ben barnes!darkling tagged on at the very end. what a mess.

[billconrad]

She Would Not Do That

    My wife enjoys crime dramas like NCIS, Criminal Minds, Law and Order, and CSI. Except for Law and Order, I do not enjoy these shows, which is fine because it is terrific when couples have different interests. Occasionally, I catch a few minutes, and on rare occasions, the plot keeps me interested enough to watch the rest of the show.

    A week ago, I saw something (I think it was Criminal Minds) that got my attention. The authorities tracked down and captured a serial killer. In the investigation, the authorities learned that his mother purchased the gun/bullets, selected the victim, drove him to the crime, helped him dispose of the body, lied to the police, and helped him escape. During the questioning, she defended her actions, stating that she loved her son.

    When I saw this, I sat up and said (to the television), “She should not do that!” Now, I understand mothers go to great lengths to support their children, so a mother helping her serial killer son should not be that big of a stretch. After all, we see loads of enabling behavior in every part of society. Honey Boo Boo even made a career out of it. Very true, but I was not buying it.

    What was going on in the writer’s mind? They were doing their best to tug at the viewer’s hearts. “Take pity on this poor woman.”  “Connect with her plight.” “How dare you look down on her.” “She is a victim, too.”

    Yeah… This was, at best, lazy writing and, at worst, a slam against mothers. The problem was that for this plot to work, the viewers needed to connect with the mother’s side while being appalled. I only saw an unrealistic concept. “Son, you did a great job killing that woman. I am very proud of you.” “Thanks, mom.”

    I connect with writing difficulties, and it is almost impossible to create something new. Thousands of crime/drama shows, books, and movies have been created. This plot format only supports a few formulas. Son is a serial killer. Famous person is a serial killer. Secret government agent is a serial killer. It should be no shock that a writer eventually tried: Mother is a serial killer enabler.

    Alright, Bill. You are so high and mighty. Fix it! Good news. We already did. When my wife and I watched the show, I commented, “They are trying to get us to connect with her. Instead, they should have made her a serial killer. Mommy and son serial killers? I would have believed that.” My wife countered, “Or they could have toned down her help. Buying the bullets? That’s plain stupid. It would have been much better if she only lied to the police. I would have bought that.”

    Would our fixes have worked? The problem with our “improvements” is they have already been done. Our criticism highlights the problem that there is only so much a crime/drama television show can do. Aliens? Nope. Grandmother driving a tank into the supermarket? Nope. An FBI demoted to issuing parking tickets? Nope. North Korea sending an army of serial killers, and NCIS capturing them? Nope. All these shows can do is uncover local crimes and solve them with basic tools. This means the plot bedrock is very close to the surface.

    Still, I am going to be harsh. There were writers, editors, directors, studio executives, actors/actresses, intelligent women/men, and other random people on that show. Every single person involved could have raised their hand and said, “She would not do that.”  Alas, no. They remained silent, and my yelling at the television offered no help.

    It is tough being a writer in a crowded field. What kind of plot would I come up with? Gahh. The cat did it. Wow, I hit plot bedrock fast.

    You’re the best -Bill

    May 01, 2024

    Hey, book lovers, I published four. Please check them out:

    Interviewing Immortality. A dramatic first-person psychological thriller that weaves a tale of intrigue, suspense, and self-confrontation.

    Pushed to the Edge of Survival. A drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.

    Cable Ties. A slow-burn political thriller that reflects the realities of modern intelligence, law enforcement, department cooperation, and international politics.

    Saving Immortality. Continuing in the first-person psychological thriller genre, James Kimble searches for his former captor to answer his life’s questions.

    These books are available in softcover on Amazon and in eBook format everywhere.

[oncetherenowhere]

This week's been another shit show. Every week has been a shit show. I woke up at 3am, couldn't sleep, and had the realization that, for the past four months, every single week has brought me a new scrap of bad news. People dying. People getting sick. Friends leaving. Family drama, revelations. Crisis, crisis, crisis! And...really none of it has been my fault. It's just life. Bad luck of the draw.

Still. No wonder I've been having the worst few months of my life. Every single week has been a jack-in-the-box of bullshit. This week's bullshit? Revelations about my job that have tarnished it for me. I'm looking for new work. Not quitting until I get a new job...I need money. All the fulfillment and satisfaction I felt in my position has left.

I feel completely trapped in my everyday life. H thinks I should consider starting a new career, but how? Baking is the only thing I'm good at. I'm a damn good baker. My job was, like...the thing I clung to. I don't even want to say what happened, because it's complicated, but I just don't think I can do it again.

I love baking, but the environment of professional kitchens...I can't handle them anymore. I used to be able to. People say you get used to things as you get older, but the opposite seems to be true for me. I feel more sensitive than ever. I feel raw, like anything that even slightly touches me will sting. I can't put up with raised voices anymore.

H tells me to show myself kindness. I was in a heap yesterday, and he was so sweet to me. I think he's right, about the career thing. Baking feels like the only thing I'm good at, but once upon a time, I wanted to do so much...I had such big dreams. I settled into baking because I'm good at it, and I like making people happy. When I bake for people and see their reactions, it fills my heart with joy. So, I thought, hey, why not make this my career? Nothing else has panned out for me, and I seem to work best in the service of others.

H went to school for computer science. He landed a great job that he feels fine about. It isn't his passion, but he likes what he does, and it gives him enough space to work on his actual passion projects in the meantime. You should see the things this man makes...his MIND, I swear to you, it's AMAZING. He's got this amazing mixture of creativity and practicality...he breathes life into the worlds he creates. It's one of the things I first loved about him, back when we were both eighteen. He told me stories that I thought were already published, they were so good and well-rounded.

I used to be a writer. It used to be my dream. When I was a kid, I wrote every single day. I filled notebooks with stories, world building, characters...my dream was to draw comics. Remember how I wrote about how I was being bullied? I left a notebook on my desk one day by accident. My bullies read it, and humiliated me. Even the teachers made fun of me. They tore out pages from it, and the teacher there at the time threw the rest out in the trash.

I still wrote, but only in secret. Only at home, and even then, I was careful, because my parents went through my things. I went through insane measures to hide everything. At some point, it became exhausting.

A few years ago, I started writing again...but I never show anything to anyone. Except H. Sometimes.

I still have this stupid dream of making comics. I've written out scripts, ideas, plots...my art skills aren't great. I used to practice.

I've thought about getting back into it. For real. Drawing every day. Practicing anatomy, perspective, shading. I just get so sad. I imagine hoards of people tearing my work to shreds.

I know, I know. I know how this sounds. Trust me, I've viewed these feelings from more angles than I'm writing down.

I just...need something.

I might do what H did. Get my certificate in something that lets me work remote...dedicate myself to my hobbies in my free time. It would take a while to accomplish, but the time will pass anyways, right? I just don't think what I'm doing is sustainable. I keep being scared I'm too old, but I'm only 27. That's so young, in the grand scheme of things. That's what my step-dad told me a while back.

"You feel like you're spinning your wheels in the mud, don't you?" He said to me. "I felt the same way at your age. Hell, I felt the same way in my 30s. You just gotta keep at it."

It's pretty encouraging. Comforting, I guess.

Fuck. It feels so good to write here. I have nobody else to talk to. I've got H, obviously, but it isn't healthy to dump everything on your spouse constantly. I've got a therapist, who...I'm still getting comfortable with. I've got my mom, now, too...she figured out something was wrong when I went silent again. I'm glad she reached out. The two of us used to have a pretty bad relationship, but she came a long way in my 20s, and put in a lot of work to repair things. I respect that. I appreciate it. There were so many times in my teen years and early 20s when I needed her...it's nice to have her now.

Hey, that's three people! Three people, and this blog. Maybe it isn't so bad. Ugh. I think it'll all be okay. I've just got a lot of big feelings.

[myfaveisfuckable]

Rants!

Obi wan/grievous: Ok so this is a HUGE crackship and some people are not going to agree but like, Obi-Wan is what comes to mind when you think of the jedi and Grievous hates the jedi as a whole because he believes them to the cause of his mutilation and the suffering of his people, but the jedi are not the ones who did this. Grievous is a pawn in the game of the sith and he doesn't realize that his mind has been altered against his wishes or that he will be desposed of as soon as the war ends. Obi-Wan is a compassionate man and is able to consistently go toe to toe with Grievous, making him a rival Grievous can't help but respect in a weird way (his people are warriors, for all we know, fighting could be a method of flirting to his people yaknow? And obiwan genuienly flirts as a way to throw off his enemies, think of the comedic potential if Obi-Wan didnt realize how MUCH hes been a flirt or if Grevious acctualy gets flustered by it because obiwan is such a competent fighter and IF ONLY HE WASNT THE ENEMY-) If Obi-Wan knew what happened he would have tried to make amends and help his people, and if Grievous learned that it was Dooku (a former jedi turned sith) who turned him into a monster against his will, he'd probably be willing to team up with Obi-Wan to bring down Dooku and the Sith plans for Galactic domination to avenge and to protect his people, and they would be an absolute powerhouse since they are already familiar with eachothers way of fighting and from a writers point of view its filled with so much potential angst and drama, and hijinks, and even enhances the plot and creates parallels between the two that the franchise has never bothered to make and it has so much potential even if they don't fall in love they could be really good friends/partners/allies and if order 66 goes as planned they would be badass rebels its such an overlooked possible dynamic PLEASE 🥺

Dreadwing/Optimus: Ok so they are such a small ship they don't really have a name (which works in their favor considering this competition) but they have SO MUCH angst potential as they are on opposite sides of a million year long war that is leading to the potential extinction of their species, but they have so much in common too!!! They are both Honorable and follow their convictions on what they belive is right. If the studio didn't kill off Dreadwing for stupid reasons, he could have joined Optimus in the fight for what is right they probably could have fallen in love because Dreadwing is not a subordinate to Optimus and doesn't treat him like an untouchable divine being and voices his disagreements with his ideas with reasoninf and nor out of spite, and Optimus is a good leader who treats his underlings like mechs with respect and he's not hooked on space Cocaine like Megatron and he's rational and competent and self sacrificing while Megatron is self serving Dreadwing could totally fall in love with that or at least grow to respect him deeply. Also it could be a catalyst foe the other decepticons to realize something is incredibly wrong with their cause and with Megatron and his blatent instability and the defection of Dreadwing could change the fate of so many beloved characters for the better and they would be a genuinely good pairing and not toxic or gross or concerning but it's still an unknown and unconsidered ship whish is a CRIME

[arlakos]

Why the show should add Lukadrien and Kagaminette (or why making Miraculous more queer would make it more fun)

I’ve long since given up the idea that the writers would ever try to make Miraculous Ladybug an interesting show to watch.

Time and time again I have been let down by some of the ridiculous plot decisions made in this show. The whole reason the an ancient magic order fell because some incompetent twat was hangry and made a sentimonster because of it. The events of miracle queen exposes a bunch of heroes' identities? 

Nah, lets keep them on a temp heroes no worries, hell lets even make one permanent because she’s Ladybug’s best friend! (Even though the whole reason one member was kicked of the team was soley for the reason that Hawkmoth knew who she was, but lets ignore that ;) ).

Marinette can’t directly confess to Adrien and so makes stupid plans for 3 seasons to try and woo him, only to act like she’s given up when Kagami actually makes progress with Adrien as a proper relationship should. Hell, for the sake of the Love Square not concluding until the ultimate dramatic season 25 finale (tm), lets make an episode showing why Adrien and Marinette can’t fall in love! 

Even though Chat could have told Ladybug who he was after he was deakumatized and end the show right then and there but FUCK IT. IDIOCY REIGNS SUPREME!!!

So yeah I've given up on an interesting miraculous show, but frick it! I still think it could still be fuuuuuuuun >:) .

Despite some of the outrageous writing this season, I still got a laugh out of a couple of things, such as Chloe cutting Hawkmoth off when he does his usual spiel of “get me the miraculous” in Queen Banana. And I think the show could use more fun stuff.

And I think that the best way to do that would be to replace the more “ahem” controversial love ships that cause wars, known as Lukanette and Adrigami, and instead replace them with some fresh takes!

Hi this is Arlakos, welcome to my TED Talk, and today I’ll be discussing why Lukadrien and Kagaminette would not only be better ships for the show, but also make it much more fun!

Lukanette and Adrigami and why these ships are a mega FAIL (in show, fanon’s still cool)

When Luka and Kagami first came out, they were kind of introduced as characters that were new, and that’s it. I mean you could say there was some hinting towards them being romantic partners it but at first I didn’t see it. All I really saw were new people introduced that served to flesh out the show, with Adrien having a new friend with a similar background to him and Luka being Juleka’s older bro (at least until the retcon) which Marinette found a friend in. 

The only thing I could really say about either of the new characters was that both had elements that contrasted yet were similar to each other, Like how Kagami and Marinette both were bluenettes that were determined in their goals, but unlike Marinette Kagami came off as more antisocial, only talking to people that genuinely interested her. 

The same could also be said for Luka, who was a kind and soft spoken person like Adrien, but unlike Adrien’s obliviousness to people’s feelings, Luka was the type of person to accurately guess peoples emotions, and could be there for people more due to his life having more freedom unlike Adrien's. At this point both characters were just people who were new and served as foils/complements to the characters they had similarity to, and the remained that way for most of season 2.

But then Astruc saw the ship rumours and realized he could create more “drama” by having the main characters have alternate love interests. And oh boy did shit went south hard.

What was once peace in the realms of the miraculous fandom had devolved into all out war as these new and enigmatic races (known in their archaic tongues as “Lukanette” and “Adrigami” shippers) declared wars on the races of the Lovesquare kingdom. Artillery was fired in forms of text posts that explained why “Lukanette was better because Luka is better than Adrien”, which were fired back with posts that declared “Luka is the physical embodiment of that wonder wall song and bland as bricks”. Meanwhile propaganda was made in the form of shipping pictures showing romance in the desired ships, as well as filtered pictures of scenes from episodes, sometimes showing with music lyrics on the pictures. The two sides would put aside their differences when the Tragedy of the Shapeshifting Lizard occurred, creating a race of horrifying mutants and sodium chloride filled abominations that threatened the realm known as “The Salters” (also known by their pseudonym designed to disguise their vile appearance: “Maribat shippers”). However, once these abominations were pushed back into the dark abyss known as the “Miraculous salt” tag, the two warring factions would eventually return back to fighting, which is said to continue to this very day.... War....War never changes.... wait wrong show-

But if you were to ask a dumb bitch like me what I think of this whole mess, I think that both the Lukanette and Adrigami ships were full of problems from the get go:

At least regarding Lukanette, the trope of a girl falling for soft spoken rival is as bland as a pile of bricks, and if Luka’s hair wasn’t dyed and was blonde, it would be more obvious, buts its “fine” because “hur dur Luka plays music” and “Luka is now a hero so that gives him character”.

Both ships neither had time to properly develop, both due to a lack of episodes and the fact that when they were on screen, it was overtaken by the forced addition of Akumas in these episodes, which are part of the show for the hero stuff, but it honestly meant that less time allowed for the ships to develop meaning both ships were rushed instead of allowing for scenes where both ships interacted as actual couples. I’ll say it once and say it again, some episodes need to be just civilian only episodes, while others could work better if they focused on the hero stuff.

However, that isn’t to say I personally hated either ship, and despite them hooking up at the end of season 3, and I was genuinely excited for where these new relationships would take the show! Perhaps the two heroes dating other people would allow for more character building and help make the story more better!

...Except not really because both these ships were ruined in the first two fucking canonically episodes and both were grounded into dirt, because Astruc and the writers realized that the ships would mean actual relationships would have to occur and that would include actual writing, so instead they hit the reset button, all in the name of adding more ship teases!

So yeah that went to shit. Honestly I would have preferred if neither ship actually occurred if it meant they were to be immediately ditched first two episodes into the season. I would get it if the breakups occurred somewhere near the finale, but it was LITERALLY THE. FIRST. TWO. EPISODES. OF. SEASON. FOUR. AND WE DIDNT EVEN HAVE EITHER SHIP KISS! That was unfair, and I genuinely felt sorry for the people who wanted that moment for their ships, only to be copped out of their OTP being proper for a season, and having what little was given being literally blocked by the unending curse that is the Love Square.

So... it was bad. It was underdeveloped, ham-fisted in for the sake of drama and was ditched not even two episodes into season 4 because haha ship teasing is so good after the 5000th time.

 Anyways... here’s why Lukadrien and Kagaminette would be better ships!

Lukadrien

Ok I'm not gonna lie, Luka does be having that energy that screams secretly hot and suave. Like he’s the type of guy that would woo girls with a smile, make guys question their sexuality and make women that swing for the other team suddenly wander if they want to switch back (at the very least for him).

But I reckon that Luka, for all the people he could woo over, would only have one person that he has sights for, and for me the answer was clear when I saw this end card screen.

So yeah, that made me realize Lukadrien would be more fun.

So hear me out - at the end of Hardrock, Adrien finally comes onto the ship, Luka raises his hand in order to shake with Adrien’s, Marinette is blushing at seeing her crush finally appearing...

- When all of a sudden Luka takes Adrien’s hand and kisses the back of it, elicting gasps from all the girls on the boat. Luka tells Adrien that he’s glad to meet him and hopes they can get along more, and while Adrien is glancing down at his hand in confusion, Luka turns his head to Marinette and gives her an evil looking wink.

And this is when Marinette realizes... that this means war!

So yeah, this is how i see the ship would go, with two bluenettes fighting over the sexy and hot yet lovingly oblivious blonde boy. Marinette determined to win her crush’s heart while the smirking guitar playing gremlin tries to serenade Adrien with his music.

Because seeing the age old story of a girl choosing over two pretty boys? I sleep.

Seeing a story about a clumsy fashion girl and a guitar playing boy who is secretly a cheeky gremlin fighting over an oblivious blonde sunshine boy? Real Shit.

So aside from that plot change forcing Marinette to get her shit together and actually ask her crush out, I could see so many fun moments on Luka’s end doing anything to flirt with Adrien. Perhaps he invites him over for some “private” guitar sessions where he woos Adrien with his favorite song (WONDERWALL! XD jk, but for real though imagined he played this version instead XD). Perhaps the next Kitty Section concert has a song Luka made specifically for Adrien, to Mari’s simmering jealousy. Just imagining Luka and Marinette fighting over who’s helping Adrien with his costume preparation brings me a giddy glee I haven't felt since this scene in Party Crasher.

AND THATS NOT EVEN INCLUDING VIPERION! God there are so many scenes that I could include with Viperion. Perhaps just a scene of Viperion saving Adrien while flirting with him afterwards while Ladybug is getting fed up of Luka and his BS. Not to mention what would happen if Luka knew that Adrien was Chat Noir! Though it would probably lead to this amazing picture (art belongs to the amazing Calamity Fortune!)

(Nothing says “plot” like watching the most punny hero and the most suave hero staring into each others eyes while a heroine watches with a deadpan glance not realising her plan of 3 kids and a hamster are going up in smoke. Reckon Viperion would make some good flirty puns?)

Kagaminette

Regardless of what you think of either Adrien or Kagami, you can’t deny their lives are very similar. Both are individuals who haven’t had many friends until recently, have led very strict lives controlled by their parents, and both are good at fencing.

So if they have to many similarities, I thought to myself, then surely they have similar taste in people. Namely bluenettes that are strong, skilled, and are also superheroes.

Now, am I completely biased because I wrote a fanfic about Kagaminette? Yes

And did I just now self-advertise by linking said fanfic in this post. Yes

I admit to both and I don’t care. :3

Now, when it comes to this ship, I wholeheartedly think that due to Adrien liking Marinette, I have no doubt in my mind that Kagami would also be someone to fall for Marinette. The only difference between the two is that Adrien would probably be in denial saying that she is just a friend, while Kagami would immediately go for what she wants.

So when Kagami would request a rematch with Adrien, It would definitely be for a chance to win Marinette. And even though Marinette is just a friend, you all know that Adrien would be compelled to accept this challenge.

Wait, I just basically referenced my favorite comic dub. Oh well, gotta give credit where Credit is due:

(Adrien’s VA saying “what” in this scene at 0:06 gets me laughing, the way he says it so dark and grizzly after his first line being so smooth gets me laughing every single time.)

Now back on topic, I have a good belief that aside from Kagaminette being my guilty ship, it would also be a fun thing to watch. You know that Kagami and Adrien would be having duels every week to see who would have the honour of hanging out with Marinette for the rest of the day, only for them to probably end up in a draw each time and all of them awkwardly hanging out together after the match. All the while Kagami is “trying” to woo a confused Marinette with her trademark smile (you know the one, from Ikari Gozen) while Adrien is having an existential crisis with Nino later on about whether Marinette is just a friend or not, all the while his best friend is seething because he can’t just say that Marinette likes him and that the two should finally KISS ALREADY because ALYA SAID SO. (I can imagine Adrien would do this while watching anime together that Adrien likes and Nino just watches because it makes him happy.)

Adrien late at night in a onesie: SHE’S JUST A FRIEND! A FRIEND IS ALLOWED TO HANG OUT WITH OTHER FRIENDS, RIGHT?! But why do I get upset when she hangs out with Kagami?! What do I do Nino?!

Nino in pyjamas: *Internal screaming*

Going back to Kagami however, that's not to say that they wouldn’t have their cute moments together. After all, Marinette always did have a thing for rich people who don’t have many friends, are somewhat socially dumb and occasionally moonlight as heroes in spandex, so who’s to say that she wouldn’t fall for her Bluenette friend, especially with her award winning smile that she has!

(Sigh, truly a smile that 10/10 dentists recommend. You wonder if her fencing career is sponsored by Colgate? XD)

Also, If I didn’t make it clear before....

Two girls romantically fighting over a boy? I sleep

A boy and girl viciously fencing with each other to the death every week over the chance to be with a girl while said girl is confused as to what is going on? Real Shit. You could make an anime out of this and I would watch it for 5 seasons.

Also, imagine Lila trying to pull that threat stunt on Marinette in Chameleon only to turn around and see two pissed off love interests who also are expert fencers? She’d be a pin cushion before Hawkmoth’s Akuma could even reach her, and that's the real victory here.

Also just like our previously mentioned ship, Kagami going hero mode just to save Marinette would be something I would die for and would be too cute for this world. Especially if there was a moment in the show where Multimouse and Ryuko could interact. Maybe not as flirty as Viperion and Chat would be in the pic above, but having two heroes interact that must pretend to not know each other but also that one of them is crushing hard over our fashion making bluenette would be mega adorkable and allow for some cute scenes.

Also, since I haven’t added as many images in this part, enjoy my low quality meme of how Kagami would flirt with Marinette.

(Don’t underestimate the importance of... Body Language! - Ursula, The Little Mermaid)

And with that, I have given my reasons on why Lukadrien and Kagaminette would be great ships that would make this show much more fun to watch!

No wait.... I actually have one more.

Adrien x Marinette/Kagami/Luka (Otherwise known as Adrien’s Bisexual Harem Of Bluenettes, or BHOB for short)

Its no surprise that Adrien likes Bluenettes. What would be better than one bluenette? A harem of 3 bluenettes. I have ascended the fandom and found the ultimate miraculous ship.

And with that, I have declared my reasons on why Miraculous needs more gay ships and why they would be more fun than the canon show. Now, if you excuse me, I have to run from the Lukanette and Adrigami fans who have now declared eternal war on me and my newfound followers.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk!

[qqueenofhades]

did you watch lucifer season six and what are your thoughts pls and ty

Ahaha. Yes. Yes I did watch it. Then I cried for a literal hour and attempted to compose myself, only to start crying again when I lay down and kept on thinking about it. Then I had more feelings. Then I slept like the dead due to emotional trauma. Then I reblogged gifsets and had More feelings. Then @buffaluff and @flynnanimal watched it and also required emotional support due to drowning in their own tears. So, uh... we're all fine here now. How are you?

My main takeaway from the final season was the sheer amount of love for the characters, story, and fans that you could feel shining through all the episodes, and which made SUCH a refreshing change. I had feelings in my tags the other day about how a show about the devil was constantly goofy, hopeful, loving, and uplifting, rather than all the grimdark nonsense they could have easily done with it. (As I said, just imagine it as written by the GOT idiots?? NO THANK YOU.) The writing really loved everyone and wanted to give them a proper ending and emotional journey, and it wanted to show the fans that they weren't stupid for having invested six seasons of effort and emotion into this, and just... that is so much rarer than it should be? Compare all the movies and TV shows that treat their fans like the enemy, that want to outsmart them at all costs even if it means changing major plot elements, that ferociously guard spoilers and think that "shock value" means good writing, by throwing hackneyed cliche upon cliche and making everything Depressing, and just... Lucifer had its hiccups and slow points and missteps, of course, but I am SO glad they didn't do that. The entire show consisted of Lucifer slowly but steadily progressing toward being a better man, despite mistakes and setbacks and sometimes a little too much will-they-won't-they. (Season 3 was the only one where I got bored and skipped over the filler episodes with Pierce/Lucifer/Chloe in order to get to the end).

That is an essentially simple premise, but they stuck to it, and they didn't try to create more drama by randomly wrecking what they had already established. I wrote a fic all the way back in mid-season 2 (In Nomine Patris) that ended up predicting quite a few of the future characters who had not yet appeared on the show at that time, including Eve, Michael, and Azrael, and several plot points, including the very major one of Lucifer returning to hell for the sake of his daughter with Chloe. And while this might mean that I am just that good at guessing TV shows (I would like to think this....) it also means that the writers set expectations, followed through on those expectations, and didn't suddenly derail everything or turn it totally on its head just for the sake of cheap shocks. As we can all attest, they certainly caused PLENTY of drama, anguish, pain, and suffering, but they did it in a way that remained faithful to the overall premises of the story and the characters, and wanted to see them become the best versions of themselves. I cried my eyes out at the end and then thought, "hey, I might want to watch the whole series again," which, if you ask me, is the mark of doing your job right. There have been so few TV endings recently where I didn't immediately swear off the whole thing or have to pretend that canon didn't exist, so yeah.

As I said, it was just refreshing to watch something that had that essential deep generosity at its core, where the message is that everyone is worthy of love if they make the hard and painful effort to change and become better, and that even if earthly things feel small next to all this messy celestial drama, they still matter, and that you are loved no matter what. I loved that Amenadiel became God and Lucifer returned to hell as a choice in order to help all the trapped souls be able to work through their guilt and go to heaven. There were obviously certain echoes of The Good Place in that ending; I don't know if it was something they had planned all along or if the success of TGP, another series asking deep questions about life, death, morality, and human nature within the framework of a goofy heaven-and-hell sitcom, influenced it, but either way, it worked so well. Even if it tore my heart out and stomped on it on the ground, it was fitting and oh so lovely to see Lucifer, once the most selfish being in the entire universe, following in Linda's footsteps and becoming selflessly dedicated to helping other people. Just. Chef's kiss.

And of course, Deckerstar. The Hades and Persephone vibes were IMMACULATE this season, and while it did take Lucifer and Chloe the best part of four seasons to get together, they never significantly backslid, never had third-party issues or cheap cheating storylines once they were officially a couple, and Tom Ellis and Lauren German REALLY killed it this season in particular. It was never easy for them and sometimes the drama went on a little too long over the course of said six seasons, but the love story was beautiful and incredibly meaningful and always true to the fact that the actors and characters and writers (not to mention the fans) all loved it so much. They were so much the emotional heart of this, and when they went to hell together in episode 6x03 (where they turned into cartoons because wHAT even IS this show), Joe Henderson said in an interview that this was to give the fans a view into Lucifer and Chloe's future (after) lives post-6x10, and to offer them a basis to write fanfiction. I mean... the showrunner saying to the fans "here, we love you, have something to write fic about!" is likewise pretty shockingly rare. It's again an example of how this show always audaciously poked fun at itself, never took itself TOO seriously, and was always welcoming its fans and the people who loved it to do so, rather than making them feel stupid or taking joy in wrecking beloved characters or plots.

Obviously, I loved Rory, the badass lesbian half-angel goth Deckerstar child straight out of My Immortal (seriously, she was SO edgy, it was amazing), because of the fact that Lucifer's entire arc was always about feeling abandoned by his father and that he was going to have to face it for himself. Dorky Devil Dad Lucifer trying his absolute HARDEST to bond with his daughter was simultaneously hilarious, adorable, and heart-wrenching, and yet again, the Growth. We all remember when he could barely tolerate Trixie touching him, and now we're here. Also, any variation whatsoever of "this is just a brief moment of time that we must be apart, love is eternal and stronger than death and we will never really leave each other" as a line is guaranteed to make me bawl my eyes out. So that was fun.

I got a big kick out of Ghost Dan running around and trying to get everyone to see him, and had feelings about seeing him in heaven with Charlotte and his beloved Pudding Pops at the end. I had feelings about how they handled Ella finding out the truth (or rather demanding to know why nobody had told her) and of course, I obviously loved Maze and Eve and their goth/femme wedding and the fact that they got a good three-season romantic arc (indeed, I wanted more of them). My god, Trixie is SO BIG, she used to be a tiny little nugget. I love that Linda was the moral and emotional rock all along, from the first episode to the very last, and that Amenadiel was Deeply Vindicated when Charlie's wings appeared at his first birthday party. I love how Lucifer in s6 is absolute thousands of light years from Lucifer in s1. And as ever, Chloe was Perfect. I am happy that I spent six seasons with these characters and saw them become better, and that I was never made to feel like an idiot for trusting the writers to end everything in a beautiful and emotional way. Because, well. They did. Sure, maybe I could go back and pick at a plotline here or a detail there, but I don't terribly feel the need to do so? It might not have been perfect, but it was perfect, and I am so grateful that it existed.

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - Be Very Afraid

This is the best story arc episode in season three and arguably the best written episode since The Great Tree, but it’s still season three so there are still issues with it. 

Summary: When Zhan Tiri tells Cassandra she must destroy Rapunzel in order to wield the Moonstone's true power, Cassandra discovers that she can create, with fear, red rock spikes that cause fear and freeze their victims. Varian discovers the red rocks and teams up with Rapunzel to use his amber solution on them. Meanwhile, Eugene and Lance decide to throw a talent show to distract everyone from their fears. 

Why Can’t Cassandra Control The Rocks?

The series never gives an actual explanation for this. She could control them just fine in Rapunzel’s Return, so what’s changed? 

There is No Destiny!

There’s no prophecy, no oracle, no grand design nor master of fate to fight back against; the characters literally have no reason to do what they do. If you want destiny to be a goal then you have to establish what that destiny is first. 

What does Cassandra want? How does this connect back to Gothel, Rapunzel, and the Moonstone? Why she just failing about like an idiot here? Did she not have a plan when she threw her life away for this stupid rock? 

And of course Zhan Tiri is lying here, but why should Cassandra believe her? What does she gain by listening to a creepy ghost girl? This ‘destiny’ has not been established, so therefore there’s no hook nor bait for Zhan Tiri to trap her with. 

Leading directly into “you should kill your bestie’ should logically put Cassandra off of Zhan Tiri’s advice for good because Zhan Tiri isn’t actually offering anything. Temptation requires the person to be, you know, tempted by what they want, but Cassandra doesn’t know what she wants so none of this makes sense. 

The writing is desperately trying to make Cass sympathetic here, but all it winds up doing is making her look like a moron instead. 

This Isn’t Consistent

Not only does this fail to explain why Cass could control the rocks previously but no longer can, but it’s also contradicted just a couple of episodes later with the incantation bullshit. 

You need an established magic system in place in order for the character’s actions to make sense show!

This Ultimately Goes Nowhere

Ignoring how Varian should have been in season two and how translating the scroll should have led to freeing his father, which we’ve talked about previously; this subplot should have had more impact on the narrative than it actually did. Yes, Varian’s translation winds up driving the plot of Cassandra’s Revenge, but 90% of that episode winds up being utterly pointless, including the incantations themselves, so.... 

I Like This Sequence; Shame It Winds Up Being Undermined Later  

Unlike the majority of dream sequences in this show, this nightmare has an actual point. It more firmly establishes Varian’s fears and gives the audience some insight into what happened to him back in season one. Something we were sorely lacking. It also becomes the core conflict and drive of Varian’s character development through out the episode. 

Only for the episode to ignore Varian’s real issues and fail to adequately address anything. By series end this plot point will be completely forgotten. The show acts like bringing it up once and then never acknowledging it ever again just magically revolves Varian’s character arc. It doesn’t.  

So How Come Quirin Isn’t Affected By the Rocks? 

He’s right there next to them and he shows no reaction to them at all. You’re telling me the man who lost his home twice to these things, almost died to them, and nearly lost his only child because of them, is just not going to respond to new creepy red ones popping up? 

Quirin would have a treasure trove of trauma to explore in his own right, that undoubtedly would connect back to Varian’s own issues, but we’re just going to ignore it and have Quirin off screen for the majority of the episode?

Are These New Character Models?

Are you shitting me!? 

They built five new models just for a short two minute scene, one where none of the new characters are named nor given lines, only to never appear ever again!

What the fuck? Why did you waste time and money on this? What happened to all of the other background characters you already built? Did a bunch of season one models just get lost or deleted or something? 

Also why are they all wearing green? Is it St. Paddy’s Day? 

This Plot Point Wasn’t Established Enough Beforehand

Look, I’ll buy that there are people in Corona who still blame Varian for what happened in season one and for the Sapoiran take over. I mean they’re only getting half the story and were directly effected by his actions whether or not he intended harm to them. But we needed to see more of it beyond just this one scene.

No one was bullying him in Lost Treasure or The King and Queen of Hearts, so for all purposes he appeared to be integrated back into society, and now you’re telling me he’s not and that Rapunzel risked his well being by forcing him to interact with people who were hostile to him back in Lost Treasure? 

And yeah you can’t really move Lost Treasure back any further than it already is cause that’d leave a giant hole in the wall of the throne room for over a year. Which also makes no sense either. 

Or hey, maybe it’s just Feldspar being an asshole. In which case why should Varian or the audience care? 

Eugene is Wasted

Look I understand that there’s only twenty five minutes to tell this story and that Eugene isn’t the focus of the episode. I also understand that the B-plot is meant to be comedic in order to relive tension from the A plot, but this wasn’t the best way to go about it. 

The B plot swings too far wide in the other direction that it dilutes the tension too much. The A plot now has to work over time to keep the urgency going. I could understand it, if the show wanted start off with small fears first, but it needed to ramp up the drama as it got closer to the climax, not under cut it. 

We never see Eugene freak out over anything other this this cowlick. In fact we never see him scared of anything else beyond this one scene, which undermines Rapunzel’s arc this episode as she’s suppose to be the only one bottling things in. What makes Eugene so special that he can keep a lid on it with out consequences, or are you telling me that a dumb cowlick is his only fear? 

Either answer is stupid. 

I Hope You Have Copies of the Map

You went through all that trouble to steal the journal for this very reason and now here you are prancing around without it like it’s not that big of deal. Way to undermined past story arcs. 

It’s like the writers know that season one was their most successful season, and therefore try to make callbacks to it whenever they can, to make up for ignoring it in season two completely, but they still don’t want to actually acknowledge anything that happened during that season so they just refer to it in the laziest way possible, rendering the previous events pointless. 

So Close and Yet So Far

I’m mainly posting this whole conversation so that you dear readers will have context for what I talk about next. 

For you see, this scene starts out okay and it looks like we’re finally going to address the elephant in the room regarding Rapunzel’s involvement in Varian’s past trauma, only for the scene to immediately side step the issue all together and not resolve the conflict at all. 

No! Don’t Interrupt; Listen! 

Or at least go all the way and accept some of the blame yourself. 

It may look like Rapunzel is comforting Varian here on a superficial level, but without her verballing acknowledging what she did wrong, this action just winds up taking the focus off of Varian and what he needs and places it upon Rapunzel, both narratively and physically.

So what happens is that, in universe, it comes across like she’s just consoling Varian for her own personal comfort rather than genuinely trying to help. 

Why Would Varian Ever Think This? 

Okay, first off this has nothing to do with what Varian was talking about previously. Why would he jump from discussing his trauma to praising Rapunzel? You know the woman who is responsible for said trauma? 

Secondly, this switches the focus of the conflict off of Varian’s specific trauma and makes it about a generic “over coming fear” lesson mixed with an out of place validation issue. Which is not what’s actually needed for his character development; nor for Rapunzel’s for that matter. 

Third, being the sundrop has nothing to do with Rapunzel as a person. Her being born with magical powers was an accident of fate, same as her being royalty. She’s not innately better than anybody else because of this and nobody has any narrative reason to assume otherwise. Especially since her powers are utterly disconnected from her actual personality, choices, and actions. All three of which have become unbearably unpleasant by the last season. 

Finally, Varian, of all people should be the last person on earth to ever think so highly of Rapunzel. Them being friends again is already pushing believability. Him suddenly kissing her ass the same as everyone else this season is just flat out bad writing.  

Varian knows better than anybody what an awful person Rapunzel is. He’s seen her at her worse. He’s seen her not live up to her hypocritical ideals. He knows the larger problems that steam from placing people in power on pedestals. As her former victim, Varian by all accounts should be the one person who can bring Rapunzel down to earth and poke holes into her ego, even while still being her friend. Especially while still being her friend. She needs that! Writing Varian as another blind Rapunzel stan is not only writing him out of character, but it also damages Rapunzel’s own development. 

Also Varian hates magic. Why would he now worship someone just for having magic? 

THIS AIN’T ABOUT YOU BITCH!!!

I literally yelled that at my tv screen when I first saw this scene. Those were my exact words upon the episode’s first airing. And believe it or not, I’m not one to usually scream obscenities at inanimate objects. 

I understand what the writers were trying to accomplish here. They wanted Rapunzel to ease the tension by saying something funny and to make Varian laugh to distract him from his woes; thereby defusing the situation. But it doesn’t work because of season three’s tendency to make Rapunzel the most egotistical, smug, self-centered, abusive, self-righteous twat in the show. 

It really boggles the mind just how unaware the writing is. Like, surely no one makes their protagonist this unlikable on accident. Clearly they meant for Rapunzel to be an ass on purpose right?  They wanted Cass to have a reason to hate her so they decided to make her insufferable to the viewer in a misguided attempt to make Cass more sympathetic? Right? 

Then where is the bloody comeuppance? 

I genuinely thought this was all going to lead somewhere. That Rapunzel was going to learn to be a better person and I would have been fine by that. I would have applauded the show if they had turned her into an asshole intentionally so that they could teach a mature and nuanced lesson about morality. 

But they didn’t, and here I am; still shaking my head in confusion over a year later. 

Seriously what the fuck happened behind the scenes to cause this? How can processionals paid by the largest animation company in the world be so incompetent? 

Having Trauma is Not the Same Thing as Having a Phobia  

This is where Varian’s arc falls apart. Not only does the episode fail to have Rapunzel acknowledge her past wrongs for a second time, but it also completely mishandles Varian’s trauma because it equates it to being an irrational fear. One that can be overcome through pure force of will at that, same as Lance and everyone else’s fears in the episode. 

Ok first off Varian’s fear isn’t irrational. He even just said so at the start of the conversation. Varian’s trauma is very real, it’s not a hypothetical unlike clown-spiders and cowlicks. Also has been given very little reassurance that it won't happen again. Varian has no reason to trust Rapunzel or anybody else in the show. They never owned up to abandoning him previously, and both he and the audience have little reason to believe that Rapunzel wouldn’t just neglect him again if it was convenient for her.   

Secondly one does not simply ‘overcome’ trauma. Oh you can deal with trauma, you can manage it and learn to live with it. But it never goes away. It doesn’t magically disappear just because you ‘faced it’. 

In fact confronting it head on is actually the opposite of what your suppose to do when going through something traumatic. Studies have shown that distracting your mind after a car crash or what have you actually helps with PTSD later on. And ‘dealing with it” doesn’t mean ignoring the problem out right, but rather learning how to function despite the pain. 

But as the show acts like Varian’s trauma never even existed after this episode. 

This Doesn’t Resolve Anything!

What does “being special” have to with fear? How does this help Varian with his trauma? Empty validation has nothing to with what we were just discussing. 

Everyone gets afraid. Everyone has trauma of some sort. Are you telling me that my need for therapy some 20 years after being physically assaulted is just because I’m not special enough? Fuck you show! 

Moreover, this doesn’t resolve the story arc from season one. Varian and Rapunzel’s conflict with each other has nothing to do with self esteem. It was about personal responsibility, conflicting needs, and abuse. Yes, self image and acceptance was a small factor in their motivations, but it was never the driving goal behind their decisions. 

This is yet another broken narrative promise to the audience. There’s no closure to be had from this and leaves the viewer wanting, if not outright frustrated. 

In order to justify this exchange fans have to ‘read between the lines’ and make shit up in order for any of this to make any sense. People who still defend season three do by doing all the heavy lifting that writers themselves should be doing. 

If it’s not on screen, it doesn’t count. 

If Rapunzel never apologizes on screen, then she never apologized. If Rapunzel never checked up on Varian on screen, then she neglected him outright. If Rapunzel never acknowledges her wrong doings on screen, then she’s never learned anything. The characters pretending like she has doesn’t make it so. 

Why Does Cassandra Even Want a Destiny? 

Yes, Zhan Tiri is lying, there is no destiny, but Zhan Tiri being a liar doesn’t absolve Cassandra of her own actions. 

Cassandra herself believes in destiny and is looking for her’s, but why? 

Why does she want a destiny? What is this destiny she’s after? Why does she believe such a thing exists? What does she believe it’ll gain her? Why is she willing to risk so much for such a vague goal? What does any of this have to do with the moonstone or her mother? How does this destiny connect back with her personal feud with Rapunzel? 

It’s all disjointed and confused. Nothing lines up. It’s like the writers just had this dart board full of ideas for Cassandra’s villain arc, but couldn’t decide on which one to go with, so they just threw darts randomly each episode and went with whatever stuck for any given scene.

“Oh she want’s revenge for her mother during this scene, or wait no, she’s actually looking for destiny this episode?” “What destiny?” “Who knows. Now for this scene we need her to be sad because reasons...” “What reason?” “I don't care, make something up... Uuuuh, she’s sad cause she’s not a royal guard still” “But she became a guard during season one.” “Ignore that. Kids won’t remember. Now she needs to be angry and threating here” “Why?” “Because it’ll look cool.” “But why is she angry?” “Cause it looks cool Bob! Geez! Oh but she still needs to be sympathetic so give her a frowny face afterwards. Just have Zhan Tiri remind her how much she hates Rapunzel later, so as to egg her on and keep her doing stupid shit?”  “But why does she hate Rapunzel?��  “Do I have to think of everything BOB!!!???”  

There, there’s my non-so-accurate behind the scene’s glimpse into the Tangled writer’s room when discussing Cassandra’s arc. I could be wrong. There could have been some intricate and complex plan thought out that just didn’t make it onto the screen for whatever reason, or maybe everyone involved was so far up their own ass that they just forgot to give their main villain an actual reason for being the villain. But regardless the over all effect is that Cassandra is handed the idiot ball for a whole freaken season in order to even have a conflict and that is never good writing; or rather she’s hit in the head with it repeatedly. 

This Actually Goes Against Zhan Tiri’s Plan

Zhan Tiri’s short term goal is to be released from her dimensional prison and apparently she needs Cass and Raps to fight into order to do this. This was never established before hand and goes against her disciples pervious plans, but whatever. One could argue that this is just a lie in order to get them to fight later... 

However, this lie jeopardizes her long term goal. She eventually wants to wield both the moonstone and the sundrop herself in order to destroy Corona, but Rapunzel is the sundrop and you can only take her power during an ellipse, supposedly, which means if Cass actually succeeds in killing Rapunzel before then, then Zhan Tiri is up a creek without a paddle. Also if Cassandra did manage to steal Raps’ power with or without an ellipse then Zhan Tiri would still be out of luck. 

This was wholly unnecessary; you didn’t have to go from zero to sixty in one fell swoop. Have Zhan Tiri claim that fighting Rapunzel will award the power to the winner or something. There’s no need to bring up the ‘kill her’ option. That should logically just drive Cassandra away and puts Zhan Tiri’s plan at risk. 

The series wants to act like Zhan Tiri is this master manipulator, a chess master like Zantos or Palpatine, but she couldn’t even tie their shoes. Her plans make no sense and often contradict one another. They only work because the rest of the cast are reduced to imbeciles in order for them to work. 

This Plot Point Contradicts Season Two

His fear of spiders was establish early on, and I’ll accept the clown thing as there’s nothing to contradict it, but Lance has preformed numerous times before now and has never show stage fright. He’s a huge ham and back in Return of Quaid he mentioned how much loved acting and preforming and apparently been on stage before, so where does this fear of singing in public come from? Heck he sung in public just a few episodes ago in Rapunzel’s Return. 

If you have to sacrifice established character into order to make your plot work then you need a new plot. 

This Song is Nice; It Just Needed to Be in a Different Episode 

I’m glad Lance got a solo. He deserved one and the song is good. However it breaks the tension of the climax and gives the episode tonal whiplash. 

More than a song, Lance needed an actual focus episode in season three. One that was fully his. If anyone else shared it with him it needed to be Red and Angry, not Varian and Cass. 

Just imagine if this song came during an episode where he had to watch the girls. Imagine if he was singing it just for them. How much more impactful would that have been? 

Now imagine that we had a Rapunzel and Varian duet in it’s place here. That would have tied the episode together better and helped to further their own stories. Glenn Slater can write lyrics far better than Chris can write dialogue. I bet you a thousand to one Tangled the Series would have solved like half of it’s problems had Menken and Slater been allowed write and actual apology duet between Raps and Varian. 

Such a duet was proposed during Rapunzel’s Return but it could have worked here too, and you could have placed Lance’s solo in Day of the Animals or something, just leave Rapunzel out of that episode all together. 

Nothing honestly needed to be cut music wise, yet for some reason season three has less songs than the other seasons, even when counting the reprises, and they’re mostly shorter too. 

That’s mismanagement right there. Plain and simple. Someone at the top didn’t know how to balance the budget or resources and didn’t know where to the throw the money at. 

You Have a 70 Foot Shield Made of Magic Hair, Rapunzel

You couldn’t think to just block those rocks instead?

Giving your protagonist a big hero moment doesn’t work if they placed the person the have to save in jeopardy to begin with show. 

I Do Not Care About Rapunzel Right Now, Show

Yes, she’s the main character. Yes, her feud with Cass is the main conflict of the season and kicked off the episode. That does not mean that I automatically care about her personal feelings at this moment in time. 

Rapunzel has kept such a tight lid on her real feelings for the whole episode that this just comes out of nowhere. I was never waiting with baited breath for her to confess her deep dark secrets or whatever. 

It’s not even an interesting reveal. It’s just “Oh, see Rapunzel’s human too. She’s gets scared just like everybody else.”. I already fucking knew that, thanks. And what she’s afraid of isn’t even that compelling either; it’s a just a rip off of the prophecy dreams she had back in season one. The same ones that had no explanation and never furthered the story, so why should I care about this one?  

You have to earn the audience’s investment in your conflict. The character’s likability, as little as that may be currently, will only carry you so far, you have to establish shit first.  

Varian’s conflict has been the focus of the entire episode so far, and it’s a conflict that was set all the way back in season one, so of course that is what I’m invested in seeing get resolved. Rapunzel is once again just butting in and making it all about her when it’s not actually her story. 

And if you wanted it to be her story then you should have made her the actual focus to begin with and had her learn something by the end of it. 

This is Poor Choice of Words, Writers 

I could be generous here and pass this off as Rapunzel not fully believing in this prophecy. After all Corona’s destruction is still a hypothetical at this point and Cassandra really has left already. Since the episode is about fear, Rapunzel is of course more afraid of losing Cassandra’s friendship as it’s real tangible possibility. 

More than a possibility even, Rapunzel’s been dumped. Season three is a classic break up story, right down to the poor plotting and tunnel vision, hence why it’s so gay baity. 

However, this reading only carries so far. For starters this is Rapunzel’s what, fourth prophecy dream so far? Haven’t the past three already came true, so why would she think this one wouldn’t? 

Secondly, all that good grace goes right out the window once it becomes clear that, yes, Cassandra is indeed a threat; a threat that Rapunzel refuses to take seriously because she cares more about her own personal validation than her kingdom. 

Even as Cassandra does succeed in destroying Corona, and no doubt harms other people while at it, Rapunzel still is obsessed with ‘winning Cassandra back’. Oh and make no mistake, this is not because she actually cares about Cassandra as a person and her needs or feelings. Nope. Rapunzel just doesn’t like being dumped. 

Why Does Varian Need to Shove His Feelings Aside for Rapunzel’s Bullshit?

Rapunzel’s ‘confession’ has fuck all to do with Varian’s current issues. They do not connect in any way.  

Varian is dealing with real trauma, trauma that she helped cause, while Rapunzel is only dealing with a hypothetical prophecy and one very shallow, self-centered fear. There’s nothing to relate to here. Neither for Varian himself nor the audience. 

Yet for some undefined reason this is what gets Varian to ignore his PTSD flashbacks? What? 

This is once again break the narrative promise. I was promised closure for Varian’s story arc and instead of that the writers just brush it up under the rug. 

From the outside looking in this doesn’t come across as Varian ‘overcoming’ his ‘fear’. It looks like an abuse victim using learned helplessness to placate his abusers.

And yes, for the last time Rapunzel is Varian’s abuser. 

NEGLECT IS ABUSE!!! 

And and even though he is no longer her ‘responsibility’, she is still neglecting him emotionally as his supposed friend. 

Varian’s and Cassandra’s Stories Undermined Each Other’s 

Varian stopped the rocks. Rapunzel had nothing to do with it. Zhan Tiri blaming Rapunzel for it steals agency away from both her and Cassandra. 

However, if Rapunzel had used the hurt incantation to stop the rocks and Cassandra had felt it rom the other side, then you’d have something to back up Zhan Tiri’s claim and an actual point of real conflict to carry the rest of the season. Not to mention an actual tangible goal for Cassandra to work towards, survival. 

Cassandra’s conflict with Rapunzel not only prevents the resolution to Varian’s arc from being satisfying, but Varian fulfilling his arc in turn winds up cutting off Cass’s story at the knees. 

It didn’t have to be this way. Varian’s and Cassandra’s arcs should have complimented each other, but instead the creator decided to make them complete for screen time and relevance. 

It is such an gratingly stupid and petty decision that winds up being a disservice for all the characters involved.   

Cassandra’s motivation and goal should have been revealed back in season two. Varian should have been the sole focus of Rapunzel’s Return and gotten his big hero moment there along; with an actual ending to his conflict with Rapunzel that didn’t feel so lopsided and half assed. Then Rapunzel and Cassandra could have both been held accountable for their conflict in season three, instead of pretending like their shit smelled of roses the whole damn time. 

Lance Got a Whole Crowd Cheering Him On For Singing a Song, Varian Just Gets One Asshole Giving Him a Single Line of Congratulations

Did I mention this show has an odd anti-Varian bias? Cause it does. For whatever reasons his own creators hate him and that’s just utterly baffling to me. Like why create a main character that you don’t like? 

I look down on professional writers who treat characters they didn’t create poorly within their works, like with James Gunn and Scrappy Doo in the Scooby Doo Movie, Adric in the Doctor Who spin offs, or even the treatment of Doofus in Ducktales 2017. I don't care how much a character is liked or disliked by fandom, that shit is just tasteless and often unfunny. But at least I understand where they are coming from when they do it. 

But I’ll never understand what compels a writer to sabotage their own work; one that they are getting paid to write no less. Especially when said character is super popular with their fans. And Chris knows this. He knows the ratings plummeted without Varian in season two. He knows the merch didn’t sell because there wasn’t enough Varian products. That’s why he hyped up Varian’s return a whole week before Season Three’s airing with a massive online campaign, but he wasn’t smart enough to treat the character decently afterwards? 

I mean congrats, you convinced a just enough viewers to come back to season three to keep the show on the air I guess, but you left them all pissed off and have nothing to show for it to the higher ups a Disney. 

And Chris wonders why he wasn’t asked back to work on new Disney princesses shows that are currently in the works. 

That is Not Quirin. That is a Plank of Wood Pretending to be Quirin.

*Beep* *Boop*...*Dad Bot Is Proud. exe* 

Quirin is such a pale shadow of his season one self that he might as well not exist. I genuinely don't know why the writers released from the amber so early if they weren’t actually going to use him until the season finale. 

For the longest time I honestly thought that Rapunzel sucked out his soul with that decay incantation; what with that lyric about “setting the spirit free”. I genuinely thought that would be a later plot point, but nope, it’s just bad writing

Him just saying hi to son once and smiling blankly isn’t compelling and it’s isn’t fulfilling. It doesn’t actually resolve his arc. I mean he’s at least shown spending time with his son, but that’s not enough. We need to see him acknowledge past, we need to see him acknowledge his own flaws, and we need to see him being more attentive when Varian is in need. .  

Season one Quirin would be trying to stop Varian from going near the red rocks, a post season one Quirin should logically go after his son to make sure he’s alright, even if he’s know longer trying to actively stop Varian like he once did. 

There’s also that damn note and it’s secrets! 

You know what? That’s it. That’s the problem. The focus is all wrong in season three. Episodes get pulled into to many directions trying to juggle too many characters rather than dedicating the needed time to each individual arc. 

Season two’s finale should have been a three parter with Cass’s full motivation and goal laid bare before leaving.

Rapunzel’s Return should have been solely about Rapunzel and Varian’s conflict and resolving that arc fully 

Either Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf or Day of the Animals should have been a Lance episode about him and the girl’s, no Rapunzel. 

And this episode should have been about Quirin and Varian resolving their issues, with the Rapunzel and Cass stuff as the B plot not the stupid talent show 

There, all fixed. You don't even have to cut much, just rework the focus and leave Rapunzel and Cassandra out of conflicts they have no business being in. 

This Does Not Excuse Rapunzel’s Later Negligence Regarding Cassandra

Just because the red rocks was an accident doesn’t mean Cassandra should get a free pass for all the awful things she does later. Rapunzel uses this one interaction to excuse everything else Cassandra does in season three, as if she was just some poor lost baby and not a grown ass woman out to kill them. 

In fact Cass showing hesitancy here actually makes her later actions even worse. This means that she fully acknowledges that what she’s about to do is wrong, but goes ahead and does anyway, even gleefully so at times. Then she has to gall to act baffled when people see her as a threat? 0.o 

When fans say Cass isn’t redeemable or shouldn’t be redeemed, it’s not because he actions are so much worse than everybody else’s (even though they are), It’s because she doesn’t act like she wants to be redeemed half the time. The show doesn’t properly set up her ‘redemption’, instead it just lazily has Rapunzel yell at us how she’s ‘not lost’. 

Like below for instance. 

What Does Cass Need Saving From?

Cassandra is not in danger. She is the danger. 

She made the conscious decision to leave taking a world endangering artifact with her, and she later makes the conscious decision to come back and be an asshole for no adequately defined reason. 

She’s never shown to be in any physical danger from the rocks, the moonstone, or even Zhan Tiri herself. She apparently can take care of herself in the wild for over a year. She also has the capability of getting a job else where and just living out her life if she wanted to. Nothing is forcing her to listen to Zhan Tiri. 

Heck, even her hurt arm, the one thing Rapunzel is responsible for and could potentially be a continued threat to Cass’s well being, is just completely forgotten about.

And no, mental illness and past trauma are not excuses as well. In fact it’s rather insulting to both people with mental heath problems and abusive survivors to suggest otherwise. We don't need ‘saving from ourselves’ and we aren’t automatically dangers to anybody. Nor do we get free passes if we hurt someone. A jerk who happens to have a mental illness is just a jerk who so happens to have a mental illness; coloration is not causation. 

Conclusion 

It’s better than Rapunzel’s Return, but this episode was still a disappointment. A small part of me whishes this was a two parter because it has so much untapped potential, but I know it’s just be wasted in Chris’s hands. 

Anyways, I consider this to be the true mid-season finale of S3. Not only did the hiatus kick in after this episode, but it also clearly divides the season between the first half filler and the later Cass conflict. As such the next entry will be the mid-season recap. See ya, then. 

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[gch1995]

No one hates OUAT more than those of us in the fandom who actually watched it and/or followed it long enough to fully realize just how disappointingly awful, hopeless, and ridiculous the writing became in the piss poor excuse for canon the show devolved into the longer it went on, even though it was supposed to “be fun” and “give us hope.” At least all of its beautiful wasted potential became an outlet for far superior writing in our headcanons and fanfiction, though, no matter how shitty the actual show got.

I always feel so bad for newbies in the fandom who haven’t yet uncovered the horrific clusterfuck of bad writing this show ultimately devolved into. A part of me always feels like telling new fans to just spare themselves the pain, and to just quit watching after the Neverland arc. The majority of those of us in the OUAT fandom agree that the show’s writing ultimately devolved into a painfully biased, cheaply shocking, cheesy, wildly inconsistent, melodramatic, nonsensical, pandering, repetitive, and wildly ooc unsalvageable mess of bad writing that made us feel angry, betrayed, bored, and disgusted more often than not after that.

However, even after the show’s writing went completely off the rails beyond all salvaging, there were still those gold nuggets of wasted potential for characters, relationships, and storylines that could have and should have been amazing, if Kitsowitz and these writers actually had been able to be consistently competent and professional at their jobs. Particularly when looking back at the first two-and-a-half seasons of OUAT, I feel a great sense of disappointment at just how much beautiful and interesting potential they ultimately wasted in these characters and relationships in favor of blatantly biased, cheaply shocking, contrived, nonsensical, mutually toxic, wildly ooc, repetitive, and thus, character destroying magical soap opera melodrama.

There’s always this deep sense of disappointment in me over the amazing show that canon OUAT ultimately could have and should have been whenever I see all of those golden nuggets of tragically wasted potential Kitsowitz and these writers showed us in those moments when they were actually being competent show-runners and writers, particularly in S1-2A before they show got too distracted by the next big contrived magical thing to actually let the characters slow down, talk to each other, hang out with each other, and grow and react like in-character and relatable human beings. If only they were able to ultimately write and stick to a consistent, relatable, gradual, realistic, and organic course of character development that actually would have ultimately made these characters, happy endings, redemption arcs, and/or regression arcs actually feel well-earned and satisfying in the end.

Instead, they ended up erasing, minimizing, and/or outright romanticizing certain bad behaviors and choices of their characters at certain points and the negative consequences and/or effects they had in regards to those they hurt and/or victimized.

Instead, they ended up outright derailing most of their characters normally and/or consistently previously established complex, intelligent, and sympathetic characterizations and/or positive development at one point or another in order to rerail them over and over and over again more and more post S3 in increasingly abrupt, cheaply shocking, contrived, disappointing, flanderdized, horrifying, melodramatically toxic, and nonsensical ways that made them suddenly come across as uncharacteristically unsympathetic and stupid out of nowhere.

Instead, they created absurdities out of nowhere to inorganically force the characters to regress in ways that contradicted all previously established canon characterization, continuity, and previously established logic on the show.

Instead, they selectively bent, broke, and contradicted their own rules of magic with less and less fairness, rhyme, or reason as every season passed the first.

If only they had consistently and fairly stuck to their own rules and limitations of what magic could and couldn’t do. If only they treated their characters as complex and relatable human beings and equals with compelling, consistent, and realistic personalities, flaws, conflicts, regressions, redemptions, and resolutions that drove their stories consistently, gradually, organically, and realistically because of who they were and/or developed into as people, rather than because nonsensical asspulled twists and/or magical macguffins demanded that these characters suddenly become whatever they needed them to become a certain way to create cheap shock value, suspense, drama, and repetitive storytelling, regardless of all previously established characterization, continuity, development, and logic in their own canon.

Instead, they decided to cherry pick favorite characters and/or ships to frame as “redeemed” in the narrative, even though they may not have actually done anything to earn it and/or regressed without any negative consequences for doing so, just because Emma and the Charmings accepted them as “family.”

Instead, they ended up slapping increasingly biased, petty, meaningless, and shallow “hero” and “villain” labels on all of their characters, regardless of how objectively and needlessly harmful their choices, behaviors, and reactions may have been to others, in spite of being on the “right” side.

But we all ultimately sustained ourselves in the OUAT fandom by imagining just how amazing these characters, their relationships, and their storylines could have and should have been, trying to disregard the character assassinating bad writing in the piss poor excuse for canon that OUAT ultimately devolved into, taking Kitsowitz and these writers golden nuggets of tragically wasted potential for these characters, their relationships, and creating far superior works of art with those golden nuggests of wasted potential in canon with our headcanons and fan fiction.

OUAT isn’t a show that stuck with most of us because we were impressed by its writing in canon. In fact, most of us are fully aware that there were writing choices in the piss poor excuse of canon OUAT our favorite characters and relationships on the show that were inexcusably awful, biased, cheesy, cheaply shocking, gross, offensive, inconsistent, nonsensical, tone-deaf, wildly ooc, and/or repetitive at one point or another. Honestly, if the main character and/or relationship lasted past S3 in the main cast, then Kitsowitz and the writers destroyed your favorite character and/or ship with bad writing at one point or another.

After the writers unceremoniously killed off Bae/Neal, and resurrected Rumple from the show’s most consistently relatable, realistic, sympathetic, and well-earned two-and-a-half season redemption arc from S1-3A, it became clear thet they ran out of story to tell after wrapping up the Neverland arc, and had no idea where else they were supposed to go with Emma, Regina, Hook, Rumple, Belle, Snow, David, and even Henry’s individual characters or relationships anymore.

We know canon OUAT became a shitshow of inexcusably bad writing. We know it became horrifying and stupid. However, most of us didn’t actually remain in this fandom because we agreed with the writing on the show. We latched onto it so strongly because of its amazing main cast. We latched on to it so deeply because it showed us how to not completely fuck up amazing, relatable, and compelling individual characters, their relationships, and their storylines with biased, hypocritical, ableist, classist, homophobic, racist, sexist, petty, cheaply shocking, gross, wildly ooc, flanderdized, melodramatic, pandering, repetitive, and nonsensical lazy plot-driven writing. Granted, these problems were starting to show up in canon OUAT’s writing as early on as S1. However, after 3A, the show’s writing completely went off the rails for everyone in the remaining main cast that lasted past S3, and these characters and their relationships never fully recovered what made them at all coherent, compelling, magical, relatable, and enjoyable to watch and get invested in in canon from S1-S3, in spite of their obvious flaws.

Most of us have remained in the OUAT fandom because the show’s shitty writing choices and wasted potential inspired most of us to tell far better stories than Kitsowitz and their team of hacks ultimately did.

[ilikekidsshows]

One thing that pisses me off not just about the miraculous fandom but modern fandoms is fans inability to consume long overarching stories.

Like so many people are complaining about how long the reveal is taking or why haven't certain characters outgrown this trait yet or why is this character arc botched or abandoned. Like guys we just got the confirmation this show will be 7 seasons long PLUS like 3 tv specials. We're only roughly halfway through the series.

Once the reveal happens half the tension in the show is gone! I'm not saying leave the reveal till season 7 and make us wait 9 years this isn't HIMYM but miraculous is not a fast paced story. It's a long haul story. I just wish more fans would be patient. Miraculous is in the extremely fortunate and rare position that it will have a conclusive end and not be suddenly cancelled. That was and still is a huge problem for shows and cartoons with dedicated fans but networks pull the plug for stupid ass reasons.

So miraculous fans please chill the fuck out on things not resolving right away. We still have 78+ episodes plus the tv specials. If we get the end to certain things now it'll be so boring.

I think the concept of Instant Gratification describes the issue with many modern fandoms today. I hate to sound like I'm anti-technology, but the constant stream of quick and short bursts of entertainment allowed by the information age has made people more impatient. It's not about waiting for the climax to get a deeper sense of satisfaction, it's about getting that instant gratification right this instant. It's why one-shot fanfics are all over the place, when multi-chapter stories used to be just as common and popular, if not even more so, and it’s also why people are less willing to read a fic that’s still a work in progress. It's why people refuse to watch Youtube video essays even as they leave comments on the topic based on the title and thumbnail alone because, while they couldn't be assed to watch a 20-minute video (let alone an hour long one), they sure can spend that time calling the Youtuber names and making arguments the video actually already refutes. It's why a lot of online arguments happen only because one party read nothing but the first and maybe the last paragraph of someone's post and skipped all the explanation for their point of view (if I've ignored an counter argument for one of my posts, it was either because I missed it or because said counter argument did this. I have attention deficit issues so I do genuinely forget responses sometimes, but I'm also not writing a second essay for someone who's proven to me they won't read it).

Of course, it's only by constantly consuming only fast-paced content that you can become this impatient. People have different ideas about stories based on what stories they have encountered in the past.

Another thing that influences the Miraculous fandom in particular is that, while I love to show off exactly how much Miraculous has done to build up the overarching plotlines, Miraculous isn't really a show that's about a single story. It's easy to understand why people think it is one though: there's one main villain, we keep discovering more about the mythology, one of the main plot threads is the romantic relationship between the leads and singular episodes and plot elements tend to get payoff later. What is the purpose of a show if not to progress the story? Because the heroes aren't getting closer to defeating Gabriel or getting together, people think that the story isn't accomplishing anything.

I'll do a comparison to illustrate why these things aren't as clear-cut signs of a continuous storyline as people think. In the Spider-Man comics, you can pick any issue up and the chances are that the villain will be a part of Spider-Man's already established Rogues Gallery, who's back for more after who knows how many defeats, and those past defeats might even get referenced in callbacks to previous issues. It's also very possible that Peter and Mary Jane's relationship is the central focus with them not being together yet, having relationship problems or even having broken up (in really old issues the girl might be Gwen Stacy and short-term options have also always been available for romantic entanglements). Does this mean Spider-Man is a continuous story where the only point is that all the villains get put away for good and Peter and MJ live happily ever after? No, it doesn't. Spider-Man is designed to go on indefinitely, so there's no clear ending point. So, what is the point of Spider-Man then, if there is no Ending?

It used to be the single issue, because comic books used to have every issue be a stand-alone story about the hero and their supportive cast. These days it's more every three-to-six issues, because superhero comics are written to have short story arcs that can then be collected into trade paperbacks. A superhero series is not a single story; it's a series that functions as a story engine, meaning the series can generate several shorter stories where the hero helps fix a problem or solve a mystery.

In the superhero genre a villain will never get killed off or removed from stories permanently as long as the writers think they can still come up with stories to tell about them. The hero's romantic life will never be completely smooth sailing unless the writer is using other things to ramp up the stakes. Everything always allows for there to be another adventure.

I think the huge success of Avatar: the Last Airbender made people think that a series that is a single story is always superior to a series with multiple shorter plots. When I was liveblogging Sailor Moon, a viewer offered to give me a list of all the non-filler episodes because they genuinely thought I'd feel like I was wasting time on the show otherwise. This attitude is simply not based on fact. It's not fair to compare Miraculous Ladybug to Avatar, because they're both setting up to do completely different things. Miraculous Ladybug is trying to become a brand, like Batman or Spider-Man. It is part of the "Zag Heroes" lineup, a series of French-created superhero franchises to compete in the America-centric superhero market. This challenge is good for the genre, because Marvel and DC have started resembling each other more and more as these companies stew in their old ideas and copy everything that worked for the other one. The superhero genre needs new blood.

Also, Avatar: the Last Airbender first became popular by doing episodic plots for almost the entirety of the first season because it's actually not a wise choice to expect the audience to be willing to commit to a story that'll only give payoff later when working with an untested IP. Very often shows with longer story arcs start with the episodic format to hook people first, and sometimes the more linear plot is introduced specifically because the audience for the show is now expected to be both dedicated enough and older and capable of keeping up. Because, here's the thing: you can't expect little kids to remember every episode or even every character you've introduced in your show. I'm not sure if people are ready to hear that but I'm throwing it out there anyway. Kids are not dumb, they can understand more complex storylines, but many kids are still training their memory, so they might not remember the details of complex storylines that go on for too long.

This is why the news that Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season was going to have a recommended viewing order originally had me concerned. Miraculous is being branded for kids. The plot requiring too much skill in memorizing story details will make it less accessible to kids and might put those two additional seasons at risk. However, it seems that the "constantly changing status quo" concept of Truth, Lies and Gang of Secrets was a fluke and the evolution of the show is more subtle, so they might not be cutting the amount of episodes for those final seasons because the show is getting too complicated for kids to follow all the important details.

Regardless, Miraculous Ladybug being an adventure cartoon TV show instead of a comic book or a more cheaper-to-produce TV drama does mean that Miraculous Ladybug isn’t expected to go on for decades like a superhero comic or a soap opera. Because of this, it can have evolution and changes and even a planned ending. The show is expected to end at some point, even by the people making money off of it, mostly because making a cartoon like this indefinitely costs a lot of money, and kids’ adventure shows tend to see a decrease in returns if they go on for too long.