#even when its from the perspective of the other
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omgcatboi Ā· 2 days ago
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When I was a kid I was kind of chubby, and in my teenage years I adopted the mentality of ' if I get fit then I guess I'm better than I was ' ( which was internalized fatphobia , an extremely weird kind that was only intended to be directed at myself. Very strange considering I've always loved fat people and been obsessed with how much I love fat people and even have had fat characters even when I was thin. But even if the intention was only directed at myself, inherently, fatphobia affects everyone. But mostly fat people. )
This post puts it into words perfectly. Getting fit didn't make me happy at all, it just gave me a very inflated and untruthful ego. And that ego was used as a safeguard for fat phobia. Even if it isn't intended to affect others again it still affects others. There is just simply no way around It.
It wasn't until I was able to start testosterone and transition medically that I felt comfortable enough in my body to gain weight. And after that, all those thoughts of how amazing it should feel to be fit melted away. Because it was always a should and never a matter of fact. I never actually felt better, I just felt lighter and tougher. I was tough because I felt like I wasn't allowed to be vulnerable in this world.
And that's lame. That's a very lame way of thinking. It's super lame to think that you can't be allowed vulnerability in this world. It is a Injustice to yourself to deny yourself comfort and softness. I used to feel so weird about perceiving myself as fat for the longest time as a teenager. And my adult life it was nothing but longing to be fat. And then I was able to transition.
So if you feel very uncomfortable about being fat, you should really get down to the root of that. Because it could just be that you aren't happy living the life that you are currently living. And if you delve deep into it and take the dive and find out that you actually don't want to be fat in the end that's okay too. But in this world you need to question everything about yourself in order to solidify it, without over questioning.
Challenging your beliefs builds character, and it builds morale. It gives you perspectives you would have never had without challenging your own views even when your views end up being something you still believe in and still agree with after challenging them which is kind of the point sometimes. Sometimes you need to come from a different angle in order to give yourself more context in order to actually explain something.
And the more understanding you have about yourself the better. No matter what.
So why not take the dive? I'm not saying go to the fridge and start stuffing your face, I'm saying question why you feel so uncomfortable with being fat. Question it and allow yourself to feel the emotion so that you can follow it and trace it to its source. Were you bullied? Did you have an abuser that was fat in your childhood that warped your view? Is your parent fat and you just don't want to be like your parent so it translates into fatphobia?
I think if people were more honest with themselves the world would be a much better place.
not to bat at a hornets nest but. people who were super insecure or were bullied about being pudgy and "got better" by becoming thinner or super muscular never actually got rid of that insecurity, they simply became the image they felt they had to live up to
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anarchomitsumi Ā· 3 days ago
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going back to the big question on ch65ā€”when shima is disappointed that what mitsumi likes about him is his "kind faƧade"ā€”i find it such an interesting problem.
shima HAS put on the kind facade to get mitsumi to like him. but the thing isā€”that's just what you do when you have a crush !! you do nice things for that person to get them to like you !
shima seems completely incapable of differentiating when he's putting on a front, and when he's being genuinely kind. he picked up the people-pleasing habit as a child, and now he doesn't know when he does it as a reflex and when he genuinely wants to be nice to someone. he doesn't understand how his kindness towards mitsumi is any different.
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what he doesn't realize though, is that he's been genuinely kind to her since the beginning.
accompanying her to the student council even if he wasn't going to join himself
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going to starmax with her because she said she'd always wanted to go, and helping her to become friends with makoto.
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taking her goals seriously and promising to support each other with their future aspirations (my fave scene forever and ever)
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going to the zoo together and hoping she'll come to love tokyo !
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and he's not only been kind to mitsumi, but to mika too. noticing when she was feeling insecure and acknowledging her great style. telling her to aim for top during the volleyball tournament, and in the process reassuring her that she doesn't need to hold back her ambitions or her strong character to be likeable. and many moreā€”to many people around him.
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at some point in the upcoming chapters, shima is gonna have to realize that "being kind to someone so they'll be kind back" isn't emotional manipulationā€”it's just what getting to know someone is like. plain and simple. he isn't sick n twisted and tricking his friends into liking him, they just happen to like him.
the fake kindness was a problem in the begging, when he genuinely used it as a facade and didn't express any of his actual feelings. or with many of his classmates, thatā€”like I've talked about beforeā€”see him as a status symbol rather than a person. but with mitsumi and his friends, he's kind to them and they're kind right back.
shima's problem with his own kindness doesn't really stop there, though. the actual underlying problem is the sentiment that he isn't a good person. he sees himself as a manipulative monster (re: self-identification with frankestein's monster), so no affection coming from him could ever be well meaning.
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however, if he stopped for a second he'd realize that his wishes to become a better personā€”"i want to be as emotionally brave as mitsumi", "i want be confident in my kindness", and "i want to encourage others more"ā€”have more to so with....self-confidence than anything else (i say at the risk of sounding like a scamming life coach). he ought to accept he is good, too. not he "could be good", he is good. already.
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and if skip and loafer is good at something, it's at making its characters change their perspectives on others. like in the first chapters makoto stopped thinking of yuzu as too popular to understand her, mika stopped feeling so jelous of the other girls or looking down at mitsumi, and shima stopped thinking of mitsumi as naiveā€”or how ujie has recently stopped viewing shima as shallowā€”skip and loafer tells us new poeple are usually not as antagonistic as we initially think. maybe shima will apply that sentiment to himself soon. after all, when mitsumi says she's been saved by his kindness, it's because she has her reasons.
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38sr Ā· 21 hours ago
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I know this is gonna be a strange one, but I do have an industry question;
I've been looking for a job for the last 4 years post-grad, I've tried every bit of advice I've gotten over my 6 years in school and 4 years out. Is it too late for me?? Or more so what advice would you have at this point?? I'm starting to feel really negatively about this venture, and getting a day job has been just as difficult;;
Hello Sky! Hope it's okay to call you that. Ah post-grad job hunting.....I don't miss that period of my life at all. Before I begin, just want to preface that what I say going forward is strictly from my perspective/experience. I am not the absolute of the animation industry so if what I say doesn't align with you, you do not have to follow it haha. Alright, advice for post grad job hunting.... Well, I think I want to start off giving a bit of context for the animation landscape these past 4 years that has been rough for everyone (trust me it'll come back around to your question): 1.) COVID Pandemic
This one might be a confusing for some people because when COVID hit in 2020, the only facet of entertainment that was able to keep going was animation. If you remember, during this time streaming numbers went up because people were stuck at home, every studio was launching their own streaming platform (HBO Max, Disney+, Peacock, etc.) and celebrities were given animated shows because live-action had stopped dead in its tracks. This period allowed artists outside of California state to get hired because what's the point of capping the talent to the local area when we're already working remotely? In short, it was a boom. But an exponential boom rather than a gradual boom. You never wanna grow too fast because you'll crash out quicker (and harder) which leads us to our second factor.... 2.) Netflix's first ever round of layoffs in summer 2022, streaming actually isn't profitable?????
In short, this year is when Netflix's growth finally stopped and was the beginning of The Great Animation Contraction. Other studios who were looking to Netflix as a the new model of distributing/creating entertainment had realized Netflix wasn't invincible. As well as their business model. So naturally, they got scared and and take action (aka layoffs). I was affected by these layoffs while working at Marvel Studios and many artists got laid off at studios to save face from the mistake that was streaming (though at this point studios were still double downing on it). Also, around this time live-action was slowly restarting thanks to vaccines and social distancing protocols. So those celebrity studded animated productions dwindled down (and also they caused so much havoc for us animation workers because most of those celebrities had no animation production experience). Which now leads us to...
3.) Mergers everywhere! Yeah, uh, mergers fucking suck. People kept losing their jobs because companies kept absorbing into each other and multiplying their debts to ungodly dollars amounts! Apparently no one took a math class and understood if you multiply any number by zero you will always get a zero. These merger also caused more shows to get shelved and canned, making the job market even slimmer. And by then we get to 2023 and the....
4.) WGA, SAG and TAG Contract Negotiations By now, studios have realized that streaming is losing them money because it costs a butt load of money to not only create a streaming site, but also maintain it, update it, create new media for it, acquire established franchises for it, and maintain the current library. Streaming shows aren't being advertised like they used to on cable so shows don't last beyond one or two seasons. Worker contracts are becoming shorter and shorter (I had a co-worker who had a 3 month contract! Isn't that insane?). And what happens in the midst of this streaming meltdown?
WGA, SAG and TAG are gearing up for their contract negotiations. And as we know SAG (actors) and WGA (writers) did strike which good for them! But now there are no live-action jobs and once again, animation (TAG) is the only one running because our negotiations don't officially start until 2024. At this point, so many animated productions have been cancelled left and right for the sake of "saving money and cutting costs". And the effects were very much being felt in the animation work force. Some animation workers were starting to leave the state of California to more affordable cities, some getting day jobs as baristas, hell some leaving the industry all together. It didn't help that studios were kind of withholding production greenlights 'cause 1) they're greedy corporations 2) these strikes were putting pressure on them. And when we did enter 2024 for our contract negotiations, that contraction was at the tightest. The job market for animation had become so bone dry that you have director-level talent taking entry level jobs to stay afloat. But because of that new, emerging artists are blocked out from breaking in. Anytime a job listing would go up people would go in a frenzy and try every thing they could to get the job. That's how little shows were in production this year specifically. Of course, by now it is public that TAG has ratified the contract (meaning we will not strike). But up until then, studios were quite literally waiting with baited breath for the duration of negotiations. A ton of stuff was in development but nothing was getting a greenlight in fear of a strike. So many animation workers at this point have been laid off for at least 2 years, got priced out of LA county, or got so burned by the industry that they left for a more sustainable paycheck. At this point of the post you're probably thinking, "Why is she talking about all of this and not answering my question?"
And the reason for that is because I what to highlight you didn't miss your chance. You unfortunately graduated at a time where the circumstances were not good for breaking in for the past 4 years.
I'm not saying this to deter you from animation either. I just want to be transparent and honest about the current state of animation because it really has been bleak for the past 4 years. So it's not your fault but rather the industry was just in a seriously bad drought. Both emerging and veteran artists have been struggling to find work and when they do it didn't even last for 6 months. Hopefully, with the renewed contract studios will start greenlighting productions again so everyone isn't fighting for one job opening. But I can't tell 'cause I am not Raven Baxter haha. But what advice can I give during this tough time? Start developing your own projects. Things may be pretty dry right now but now is the time when you can create and develop your own original stuff that can be used in your portfolio. Short or long form, showing progress videos, just create. Because once you start working it's gonna be hard to find that personal project time (trust me I'm going through that right now haha). Also, you'd be surprised how just doing your own thing can garner the attention of someone who does have the power to hire you. How do you think I got to work on the shows I have in the animation industry? Almost all of my jobs happened because I was just creating my own thing and it just happened to match the sensibilities of a show produced by a Hollywood studio. And if I had any additional advice... it would probably be don't think that Hollywood is the only way you can tell your stories.
This one is more of....a recent revelation I've had after going through a pretty bad work experience but Hollywood isn't the only way you can be a storyteller. Whether it's comics, games, streaming, animation, or film....the Hollywood system isn't the end all be all. And by Hollywood system I'm referring to breaking into a big studio like Disney, Nick or something and trying to get your own movie/tv show to win an award or something. That system often works for a certain group of people and fails other groups. That's why I say develop and create your own thing because you might find something that fits your creative voice more than Disney or any other Hollywood studio. Maybe that's inconsiderate of me to say as someone who's been incredibly lucky to work in the animation industry for almost 8 years now....but I still wanna be honest that there are other avenues that isn't the Hollywood way. All in all, please don't give up or beat yourself up. The current state of animation within America was out your control and resulted in many artists struggling to find a job. You aren't too late. In fact, I would say now is your time to do your thing in preparation for when that hiring boom comes again (or you can just take another route to tell your stories). I hope that answered your question!
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drawnfamiliarfaces Ā· 2 days ago
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just wondering, do you know about the cross-collar rule in asian attire? (if not nbd, just thought you might have some interesting thoughts on it in regards to the first ninja)
YES!!! I do actually!!! ;DD Tho admittedly I only discovered it a few years ago and while I 100% incorporated it into my First Ninja headcanons, I didn't have a chance to share it, I guess, haha. ;D
For those curious about the cross-collar rule: Japanese kimono is traditionally worn left side wrapped over right, unless the wearer is deceased.
Tho in RC9GN character sheets designs - ALL kimono wearing characters with the right side wrapped over left.
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While I have no idea if this was an animation error due to negligence of research, or a deliberate choice with or without that clothing rule in mind (considering they travel to past and technically all people they saw are dead in the future lol), but you sure as hell can believe me that my mind run absolutely feral with that tidbit.
In some of my posts I mentioned my hcs about how First Ninja is incredibly loyal to his Clan and the siblings he lost, about how much survival guilt he must have suffered, and how much effort and energy he puts into making sure that the Ninja - the culmination of all their efforts - must survive and live on, all in order to keep the Sorcerer contained and their newfound home (and the world) safe and secure. To the point that he would immerse himself completely into his role of the protector and erase any other identity that he had left - an incredibly utterly noble and stupidly horrifying gesture of self-sacrifice for the continuous survival of his clan even at the price of his civilian life.
I trust you can see where the cross-collar rule comes into play with this. ;)
Because in First Ninja's mind - he is a dead man walking. Whatever was left of his semi-normal life with his siblings had been slipping away from him with every loss, until there was nothing left but the duty his clan had taken on. Whatever he was before that, whatever he could have been - has been dead for a long time. And contrary to harsh wording I use, I do not really see First regard it as a great loss - it is still a loss, but here comes a rule of 'the sacrifice of one for the good of many' (something this Clan will surely understand) - if anything it would seem like a logical progression for all the events of his life.
There is a reason I built my headcanons around First Ninja as the youngest of the Clan: if your whole life revolved around an important duty, it would not seem like the great sacrifice for you to devote your entire life to it to that kind of point considering all the circumstances. I mean from an outside perspective it is pretty horrible, but when you literally grew up in the situation? Its a different matter.
But the rule also can be interpreted in a more (?) uplifting manner because, if you took notice - his Ninja suit is also wrapped right over left, and in this case I chose to interpret it as not sign of death but rather continuity, an immortality of sorts if you will - because even if what was left of that young Norisu lord is dead - the Ninja will live on through inheritance, and no matter how much time will pass, how many inheritors will come and go - Ninja itself will survive. And isnt that an immortality in itself?
Admittedly while I have a great deal of thoughts about this, I'm not good at sharing my headcanons (even now I reread what I wrote and wonder if its even coherent haha...), and so far I only managed to allude to the cross-collar rule in one of my MIS posts:
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Where First Ninja is still a mortal but who wears his clothes like a dead man, and Chase Young is an immortal who would not even think of dying, lol.
But trust me, while Im struggling to express all of that - every time I draw First, that rule and all the angsty implications of it are constantly on my mind. ;)
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kusakabesimp Ā· 1 day ago
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Is Kusakabe Conventionally Attractive?
I was recently asked if Kusakabe is conventionally attractive. The short answer is yes. But you know how I am, so here's your 1K word essay on why he is on every level, from the obvious to the subtle and everything in between.
Let's start with the physical. From a scientific perspective, facial symmetry is linked to notions of masculinity and good health -- traits our brains are subconsciously hardwired to find appealing. Kusakabeā€™s face is sharp, symmetrical, and effortlessly striking. But let's dive deeper. Because the symmetry is what grabs your attention, but his amazing features are what holds it.
Gege draws Kusakabe with very distinctive eyebrows (thank you, Gege). While this may seem random, eyebrows play a significant role in facial aesthetics and attractiveness, especially for men. They provide a frame that influences how Kusakabe's other facial features, such as his eyes, jawline, and cheekbones, are perceived. Also, eyebrows are crucial for non-verbal communication; thicker, well-shaped eyebrows amplify expressions, making Kusakabe appear more charismatic and assertive.
Ah, that jawline ā€” broad, angular, and sharp enough to cut glass. Going back to the science, studies link angular jawlines to higher levels of testosterone, which are associated with traits like strength and dominance. HELLO, DOMINANCE OKAY (Look, I'm not making this up; I read a whole 2018 evolutionary psychology paper on this.)
And we can't talk about Kusakabe's jawline without also mentioning his amazing, magnificent cheekbones. When both of these features are well-defined, they contribute to a strong, chiseled look thatā€™s often considered the hallmark of conventionally attractive male faces. As the jawbone draws the eye up, the cheekbones fix the gaze on the center of the face, giving the viewer a second chance to admire his facial symmetry. Even more science! Skin loses elasticity as we age, so bone structure isn't as noticeable. Higher and sharper cheekbones are perceived to be a sign of youth and vitality. Though Kusakabe is in his mid-thirties, he's still looking young and FINE AF.
Basically, symmetry is the framework, and Kusakabe's features are the elegant finishing touches on a masterpiece.
Kusakabe definitely takes care his skin, and while thatā€™s not a defined feature like the nose or mouth, it still plays a huge role in how people perceive his appearance and appeal. His skin is smooth, with a faint golden undertone from all the time he spends outside fishing. Its the kind of complexion that shows he's in good health and has a top-notch skincare routine heā€™ll probably never admit to having.
His hairstyle is a little outdated, but it can be considered conventionally attractive because it is well-maintained; the effort behind it indicates he is mindful of how he presents himself.
Is Kusakabe confident and conscious enough to go to Sephora? Drop cash at a high-end salon? Yes, he absolutely is.
His self-care extends to the way he keeps his body in peak condition. Heā€™s in the dojo every day, no matter what he's practicing. And while heā€™s built broad, with those delicious strong shoulders, under that gi is a man whose lean muscles are toned to perfection.
His attention to detail also extends to his style. The care he puts into his appearance reflects an understanding of how to dress to highlight his best features. The tailored shoulder line, tapered waist, and notched lapels of his suit work together to accentuate his broad chest and torso. This cut creates a sculpted, V-shaped look. (I call it the 'reverse Dorito' because it looks like one, see? ā–½). The notched lapel is a modern, classic fit that can easily be dressed up or down because, well, my man is practical.
His trenchcoat is worn open, but it is a really nice coat. It also has a notched lapel, but the notch is deeper. This fit, like his suit, is designed to complement his features. The cut subtly directs attention up to his jawline, a smart choice for his face shape. Plus, itā€™s perfect for someone both tall and broad, accentuating his frame without trying to make himself look larger than he already is.
Now, letā€™s shift focus to some of Kusakabeā€™s emotional traits that also make him conventionally attractive. His leadership mentality is something that naturally draws people toward him. Over the course of the manga, we saw him grow into someone who earned respect without the need to force it. During the meetings for backup plans for Sukuna's fight, for example, he wasnā€™t just participating; he was leading the discussion from the front. Getting a group of sorcerers to work together couldn't have been easy, but Kusakabe made it look effortless.
His deep love for those around him (despite his attempts to say otherwise) is the driving force behind his dedication to protecting them. Throwing hands with the King of Curses wasnā€™t about winning; it was about protecting the people who mattered to him, even if it meant sacrificing himself.
Kusakabe isn't just visually attractive ā€” everything about him is. His sharp features and impeccable style stand out, but what really makes him unforgettable is his quiet strength, leadership, and selflessness. It's the balance of confidence and compassion that truly defines his hotness presence.
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utilitycaster Ā· 2 days ago
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I kinda felt disappointed and kinda disheartening in the discussion surrounded taash being non-binary and people just framing their gender identity discussion as just baby first queer meetup it just I've been out for several years as non-binary and I still don't have access to these kind of outlets I don't know but I guess people forget that everyone journey is different.
and also like it does make sense for taash experience to be like that since its literally their first time exploring new gender identities?
Hey anon! I think that's exactly it - this isn't at all limited to people talking about Taash or the Veilguard fandom (or people who played and didn't like it) but on some level Taash actually seems to me to exactly play out the (explicitly canon scenario) of "what if you felt like something was weird or off about how you experience yourself but didn't know what and it had been going on so long that you'd internalized it and thought it was normal for everyone and this also got caught up with your complicated relationship with your mother and you blew up at your coworker for walking around in a kinda low cut shirt on her own personal time and instead of being like WELL FUCK YOU TOO she was like 'interesting. why are you doing this because I don't think I'm the problem.' " Like, I was on a lot of feminist websites aimed at young women in the early 2000s as a teen and so lesbianism and bisexuality were both talked about a lot but no one was like, bringing up Kate Bornstein and Leslie Feinberg and actual THEORY until college. Like, truly, until maybe 15 years ago, when social media with an anonymous angle started blowing up? You had your gender and sexuality discovery through doing and living and talking to other queer people irl or by finding a library or bookstore that had what you needed, if you even knew what you needed beyond "I'm weird and feel wrong." You had to go to a group. You can literally read Alison Bechdel's account of doing this for lesbianism in the 80s. Taash is actually just acting like someone who can't privately learn all of this from a carrd and has to actually talk to people and take notes. And as for the actual term...you know how people always mock historians for being like "these two people were close friends" and they're like OH MY GOD THEY WERE FRIENDS WHO WANTED TO BE BURIED TOGETHER? Well, have you considered Taash is referred to as nonbinary and has the whole pronouns discussion because if you go with more euphemistic language, again, someone will be like "no this is just representative of gender nonconformity" and call Taash a tomboy.
I don't want to derail the above but I do feel a lot of people online, especially who have been on social media from a very young age, just...struggle to comprehend the following three things to a degree I find worrying.
perspectives, opinions, and experiences that are different than yours are good things to experience regularly; you should expand your mind and comfort zone
representation does not mean "people who had the same exact experience with the same exact outcomes as you for the same exact gender/sexuality/race/ethnicity/gender" and is just as much to show people not of those demographics the inner life of characters who are
You do not need to like a character as a person to find them interesting or well-written/acted.
and i feel a lot of weirdness towards Taash coming from people who are nb or queer themselves lands in those categories.
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lexicorp Ā· 2 days ago
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Transformers Earthspark: Another Place, Another Prison
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Got a weird little chapter where the perspective shifts from Megs to right back to Star. I swear dude, when i write these peeps I can't help but slip a bit of TFP into them. It was my first fave after all, and it often fills in some of the cracks for me. Oh and also a bit of Armada energy or a bit of other stuff from things i've heard/seen from comics and shit. Totally mish mash inspo admittedly.
[also side note: I don't necessarily ship op and meg, I mainly used the partner title as platonic and referencing that Megs doesn't rlly see him as his leader per say. I kinda like to keep the ship ambiguity much like the shows do tbh]
But yeh, first a short bit of Op and Megs talkin about our seeker creature. Then we see said creature fucking around with the chaos powers and getting into a bit of trouble. It ended up a lot more brutal than I initially outlined it i must admit-- but don't worry! After this insanity, the bots actually might realize how much of a non sustainable solution it is to keep Star in there.
Previous Chapter: An Unwanted Sequel
First Chapter: The Need For Read
Next Chapter: The Illusion of Freedom
Chapter 7: A Broken Boogeyman
ā€œI just donā€™t know, Optimus.ā€Ā 
Megatron leaned against the steel bars overseeing the cameras with crossed arms. Heā€™d been loitering in silence for quite some time as he observed Oriā€“Optimus, type away at the databanks. Prowl and him had been working rather constantly in the effort to locate the ship the Decepticons had stolen. But Megatron had asked him to relocate his efforts to this access point to their system, so that they could keep an eye on Starscream.
ā€œAbout what?ā€ His old friend finally inquired. The mech surely knew of what he spoke, yet was merely prodding him to further explain his thoughts.
ā€œStarscream.ā€ Megatron gestured towards the caged seeker on the screen, even if Optimus wasnā€™t looking at him. His former second was just pacing as he so often did, but he also seemed to be intentionally calling upon that unstable power Megatron had seen him carry. ā€œHis recent behavior bothers me.ā€
ā€œThat so?ā€ Optimus removed his servos from the keys and turned to face him as a show of his attention. ā€œWhat about it concerns you?ā€
Megatron stared at the monitor a moment before sighing and refocusing his gaze upon Optimus. ā€œThe aggression. It is less like him to lash out in the way Iā€™ve witnessed as of late. When it comes to his anger, I've known him to often be moreā€¦ snide, than explosive. Do you suppose it has to do with the corrupted Emberstone incident?ā€ A rather vague question, yet he knew his partner would understand the full scope of its implications.Ā 
ā€œI suppose,ā€ Optimus followed Megatronā€™s previous gaze to the smaller corner of the large board of screens displaying the seeker for a moment. Of whom looked to be rambling about something, and punching the wall in a little tantrum. ā€œIt is rather odd. Even so, should it not bring you comfort that he is within our custody? He poses no threat from here. Or is it perhaps a more personal matter to you, Megatron? Did the conversation you two shared not go well?ā€
ā€œIt went as well as it could. We haveā€¦never been quite good atā€¦talking.ā€ Megatron tapped a finger against his plating in thought. Starscream had always held a particular seat in his mind through the years. He kept him on his toes, even when Megatron hadnā€™t wanted him to. ā€œI know it seems like he is secure at the moment,ā€ He continued, ā€œyet I cannot help but question how long it will be until he manages to escape and continue on with his questionable goals. I had tried to determine what his next move could be, but he still eludes me with his backwards talk.ā€
Optimus hummed and slowly began to resume his typing, now only half focusing on his work. ā€œWould perhaps, upping security ease your mind old friend?ā€Ā 
ā€œPerhapsā€¦ā€ Megatron contemplates this offer. What more security could be implemented? It seemed useless to station someone outside Starscreamā€™s cell to just sit there when they could be useful elsewhere, especially when they already have eyes on him from here. Plus, he could just use someoneā€™s presence as an opportunity to trick them somehow. Obviously then, Megatron would be the best suited for such a station, but that was not going to happen. Prowl would likely not trust him for the task. They may have gotten on slightly friendlier terms, but one act in battle could not wash away centuries. Wellā€¦that statement could be debated on circumstance, he supposed. But that was a worn out topic in his processor.
ā€œRegardless, I can assure you, that even if he does somehow escape as he did before; we will be notified immediately.ā€ Optimusā€™ antennae tipped back only slightly, in a way that informed of the ridiculous smirk the mech no doubt brought to his faceplate. ā€œYou should not worry so much! Maybe all you need is a walk in the sun. That is what the humans say is a cure-all for a dower mood! We have been stuck in this stuffy rock for quite some time, after all.ā€
Megatron chuckled, ā€œIf you are going to try and send me off on some frivolous nature stroll, then I will be forced to drag your workaholic aft out there with me!ā€ He removed himself from the steel ledge guards and made his way by Optimusā€™ side to punch his shoulder. ā€œYou need it just as much as I.ā€
Optimus rolled his eyes and glared with a fond grin at the playful threat. ā€œThat may be so, but my responsibilities as leader would not allow me such things at this time.ā€
ā€œPreposterous! Shoulder the load to someone else. You cannot rust in here while insisting I take leave.ā€ Megatron put his hands on his hips like he was talking to a sparkling. Which his old friend very well could be sometimes.
ā€œI will not simply pass my burdens upon my comrades for my own pleasure, thank you.ā€
Megatron groaned, ā€œOh donā€™t phrase it like that.ā€Ā 
Optimus sighed and brushed Megatron out of the way to reach a different conduit. ā€œIt is accurate. Now unless you intend on assisting me with my work, you should decompress elsewhere for the time being.ā€
Megatronā€™s posture drooped slightly as he watched his partner continue on in his mission. The fool was always so focused on others. Putting so much pressure on his plate alone like he was the soul force that kept the planets aligned. Sure, he occasionally relied on others quite well. But in these past years of working alongside his partner, Megatron had seen just how absurdly stubborn the mech could be.
He knew the Prime would want him to simply heed his word and not pry further, as per their conversation about Megatronā€™s tendency to question him perhaps a bit too often. Even so, this was different. A matter of a concerned compatriot enforcing a bit of necessary self-care. Whether the mech would be mad at him or not was an irrelevant notion, and could even be quite amusing.
So Megatron began to extend a hand to take the Matrix driven mechā€™s arm, ā€œCome now Optimusā€“ā€
When suddenly, the alarm blared obnoxiously through the base. Megatronā€™s helm immediately shot to the monitor to see a cell filled with nothing but a bit of ash and a barrier littered with chaotic sparks.
Starscream was gone.
***
Starscream paced back and forth across his prison in a rather short path. An intentional stride, as he found that the less distance he allowed himself to travel, the more it lent to instead increasing the tension within him. That was what he needed. Calm wasnā€™t going to get him out of here.Ā 
Frag having a cool head. Any rational plan would just come back to blow up in his face. No, theyā€™d expect that classic, clever, scheming Starscream. Theyā€™d surely predict any little uselessly intricate plan he could concoct, and crush it, if his own Primus damned processor didnā€™t accomplish that first.Ā 
Red lightning was steadily increasing in intensity across his frame. Good.
No one had visited him after his horribly done exchange with Hashtag, and that had left him with plenty of time to focus on finally getting a better handle on Quitusā€™ curse. It thrived off of anger, spite, and destructive thoughts. Starscream had that in spades! If it wanted him to disintegrate the structure housing them, or crush the mechs caging him into sniveling lumps of slag, it was about time it helped him do it.Ā 
ā€œYou will do as I command or so help me Quintusā€“ā€ Starscream hissed at the crimson air as he flexed his shaking servos.
ā€œPlanning on showing the world just how dangerous you truly are, Transformer?ā€ Mandroid was right by his peds with his absolutely revolting amalgamation of parts and flesh before him. ā€œProve me right.ā€ The wretched pest had such a mad grin on its squishy faceplate and a taunting tone that made him sick. Making the power surge in his spark.Ā 
Starscream yelled in a rather embarrassingly feral manner as he launched a fist down upon its helmā€“headā€“whatever the damn human had! Even with his new found speed and electrified assault power under his control, the illusion managed to escape into whatever Pit it had spawned from. All with an infuriating laugh. He thrusted a fist into the wall to test his strength against it, before turning to survey the little space he aimed to destroy.
ā€œI will never take orders from a human.ā€ Starscream growled at the phantom. ā€œI will use this power because I need to. What I will prove, is just how capable I am no matter what these fragging fools throw at me!ā€ He began to laugh. ā€œThey thinkā€¦ They think they can cage me like an animal. That they can just mock me, and leave me to rust away out of sight from whatever pathetic fantasy they think theyā€™ve created for themselves out there?! They think they can leave me behind as they praise the oh so beloved LORD Megatronā€“ DO THEY? She thinks I am WORSE than HIM, does she? Ohā€¦ but I can be so much betterā€¦ā€
The power shot through his frame and out from his peds, causing him to yell in surprise from the sudden shock. He panted unevenly on his knees as his wings shook painfully, pulling a servo to his helm to grip the edge of his optic. Noā€¦ he couldnā€™t focus on revenge right now. He just needed to get out.Ā 
ā€œMmā€¦ Regardlessā€¦ā€ He dragged his impaired frame from the floor with an addled voice box, slouching far much more than he would like. He felt heavy. He hated it. But it was a necessary evil to lean into this curseā€™s power.Ā 
Starscream made his way over to the barrier that led into the corridor, and directed the lightning to collect at his servos and shoot into its target. It rapidly spread across the surface which rippled and strained to keep its shape. His spark ached as he forced it out, and finally, the barrier sputtered and shrunk away into pathetic wisps. The controls were sparking wildly and exploded into a stream of smoke.Ā 
He hesitated in the doorway for a nano klick before a siren shrieked through his audials, causing him to yelp and spring into action. His peds automatically tracked the same path they had taken the last time heā€™d broken out. He wasnā€™t thinking about whether itā€™d be predictable. Whether theyā€™d be waiting for him. Or if the exit he had closed off would actually be open again. He was just running.Ā 
And this time, as soon as the force fields began closing behind him, he immediately transformed and blasted through the tunnel. Starscreamā€™s engines shot red as the lightning flickered off his frame. He was going so fast that if he werenā€™t the exceedingly skilled flier he was, heā€™d have eaten metal by now. But of course he naturally dodged around every corner and eventuallyā€“
No. He needed a missile to destroy the door. But he hadnā€™t had the time to locate his confiscated weaponry.Ā 
Starscream transformed mid-air to launch himself into the door in a super powered kick. Only a sizable, useless dent resulted. He looked at it in disbelief then turned to survey his surroundings wildly. There had to be another way. He dashed around the closed off room at a blinding speed. There was no other exit that wasnā€™t already blocked.
ā€œSCRAP! NO NO NO ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!ā€ Starscream desperately shot streams of lightning at the door. Punched and kicked as hard as he couldļæ½ļæ½ļæ½and it was starting to work! He just needed to focus on the bent seamā€¦ But he heard a crowd of noisy pedsteps rapidly approaching his position. They were barking some strings of orders to each other or perhaps at him, but he didnā€™t care to make out what any of it was. He just needed toā€“
Suddenly, the space between his wings was burning in an all too familiar way, and his front was thrusted into the uneven wall. Time was up. It couldnā€™t end this way so easily. There was no way he wouldnā€™t go down without a fight now. Starscream quickly stumbled to his peds and turned to immediately blast a stream of crimson lightning from his servo.Ā 
The group of bots scattered in surprise, with one blasted mech attempting ridiculously to call out his designation.
ā€œStop this now, Starscream! You know you are outnumbered!ā€ Megatron was once again so desperately trying to control him. Acting like he knew his limits of what he could and couldnā€™t do.Ā 
ā€œSHUT UP!ā€ He screamed as he threw continuous follies of the curseā€™s power at his assailants. ā€œI will not allow you to have the pleasure of taking me alive today to be smelted under your petty gaze! Either I am getting out of here, OR NOBODY IS!ā€ Maybe Starscream could draw their fire at the door behind him, or maybe he could simply disintegrate them all here and now and seize the base for himself. Both flickering visions in his processor paired with all the ways he could leave them as smoldering piles of ash. The siren still wouldnā€™t cease its incessant whining.Ā 
The surrounding mechs became scattered, and he rapidly made certain to dodge every shot sent his way paired with an equal retaliation. Heā€™d get some shots off, but they were still closing in. He finally managed to get the pink one to stay down, leaving the red femme to see to her companion like a weak fool. Starscream attempted to shoot the pair to finish them off, but was blocked by that slagger Prime with his stupid axe.Ā 
There was still Megatron lurking in his hazed vision, and he redirected his fire toward the bucket head. Yet something bothered him about the roster he saw around him. Where was that blasted bot Prowler? Why wasnā€™t he here with them? Bumblebeeā€™s absence could be excused, but that tacticianā€™s was far too precarious. Were they planning something?
Suddenly, Megatron and the others slinked a peculiar amount of steps from his position. Something was happening.Ā 
Blasters retracted from the ceilings and began raining relentless fire upon him. He frantically dodged what he could, but was surprised by the unexpected direction, resulting in a hole to be scorched through his wing before he could decommission the blasters. While he was distracted, the Prime attempted to rush him, but he was all too obvious and Starscream dived out of the way with the intent of a counter attack. Apparently, that was what they wanted, because then he found Megatronā€™s monstrous chassis slamming into him.Ā 
ā€œGET OFF OF ME!ā€ Starscream demanded as he struggled for control.Ā 
ā€œNot until you surrender!ā€ Megatron was insane! The longer he remained in contact with Starscreamā€™s corrupted frame, he was easily in the line of fire to become overcome from helm to ped with the electricity. But he wouldnā€™t let go. Starscream could hardly move.
ā€œNever.ā€ Starscream growled lowly through his absurdly rapid vents, of which were absolutely useless in cooling the heat burning his spark and processor. He kicked and pulled in practically any effort he could to gain some leverage. Yet right when he had finally freed a servo to try and deck Megatron in the faceplate, of course the Prime had to step in and force Starscreamā€™s servo back to the ground with his axe. A flash of amusement flitted through him at how the reckless leader of the Autobots was less willing to touch him than the ever self-perseverating former warlord.
ā€œItā€™s over, Starscream. Stand down.ā€ Megatron growled through gritted dentas, and crushed Starscreamā€™s ped as a nice little punctuation to his order.Ā 
Starscream refused to give the silver brute the scream or pleas of mercy he no doubt sought from the action. All the same, he felt like he was about to explode. The power wracking his frame was starting to take its toll. The world was spinning, and the more he continued to struggle, the more desperately he felt the need to be anywhere but in this moment. Well, perhaps not anywhere. Surely he could think of many worse thingsā€“scrap that was a bad direction to take that thought.Ā 
The siren warped into a wretched ringing that swirled in his helm. His optics were glitching so harshly that he could barely make out pixels beyond mere silhouettes, and the lights glared painfully. He could feel his vocalizer saying something to his captors, and he could faintly recognize that they were responding. But what were they saying? He didnā€™t want this power anymore. It hadnā€™t helped him. It never did.Ā 
ā€œWā€“ tranqā€“quickly!ā€
What?
Starscream tried to look at what they were doing as he pushed against Megatronā€™s servo. It was a needle. They were getting closer.Ā 
He panicked and flailed to the point that he twisted his stabilizing servo out of its socket to allow his upper half the opportunity to slip out from under the mech for even just a moment. But it didnā€™t matter. He was pinned again and they stuck him with whatever it was.
Of which, rapidly started making every circuit in his frame feel disgustingly limp.
He desperately fought to stay conscious. But just like everything in his life. It was useless.
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yoonyia Ā· 3 months ago
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you ever look at your own pysche and then look at everyone else and look at the media you like and things you relate to and try and draw a version of yourself from all the things that are you and then walk back and see your creation and then just get hit by a wave of "this is me, but I'm not this"
and like it's really confusing because everything that makes you you is there
and it is you, if you were to make it alive it would be an identical copy
but I would feel that it wasent me
it's me but it's not apart of what I am
I see what I'm meant to be and I know it is myself but I can't find that part of me I found within myself
It says what I say it breathes what I breathe it writes consumes and suffers all the same but where is that suffering, that guilt, that sadness that hatred that exhaustion in me? I can't find it
it is me, I am, no intention to offend but, I am a miserable tired person filled with self loathing, hatred for what i am, someone who loves and creates. But I cant find that love, I can't find that hate either, I can't find emptiness or the lack of those things either
what am I?
I'm merely me
and I will never know what that is.
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muchmossymess Ā· 4 months ago
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uh oh guys, hot take alert:
i think revali may have invented hand held aerial archery HEAR ME OUT- (this is a long one boys)
okay. evidence one: why the fuck would a rito shoot like that. like, it makes nearly zero sense, it would be such a hindrance to their flight and their main stake is that they can be higher than you can shoot whilst still pinging you... which revali has overcome with his gale
evidence two: tulin and the concept arts. obviously rito style archery would be held in their talons. before totk came out idk if anyone had really thought about it too much, but the developers had, as you can see in concept art (from the creating a champion book). and like, its logical, powerful, and allows for peak maneuverability. also, when in flight revali (and teba) holds his bow in his talons before switching to his wings. surely its easier to keep it in your wing (obvi ignoring the effects to flight but hes doing that anyway firing the damn thing) rather than switch back and forth- unless you were taught that way, because why would you hold it elsewhere, you need it in your talons to shoot.
evidence three: we dont see any other rito do it (...kind of). throughout botw and totk, we never see another rito flying with a bow in their hands. in totk, its mostly tulin, who holds it in his talons, but in botw the big one is teba. during the medoh quest, he actually gives *link* his bow, and therefore does no shooting in the sky. teba and harth had both tried to take on medoh before, but we never see this, and while they holds their bows in their hands *on the ground,* we dont see it.
...except for aoc (uh, spoilers?). there are two times we see a rito other than revali hold their bow in their hand for aerial archery. but it is not with any rito soldiers, either during cutscenes (the bows are only on their backs) or gameplay (they swoop down, and then hand hold bows on ground. they arent seen flying at all but thats prolly for the same reasons as botw: its very hard to code that (and so they write the lore around that fact)). the first time we actually see another rito do this, we dont see it. Its teba, as he comes thru the portal, but all we see is the arrow shot, and then him freeze frame with the bow in one wing. we dont see the bow in his hand for the rest of the fight. the second time we actually see him fighting like this, it *is* in the air, but its noticeably different to revali.
hes a lot slower, it clearly takes a LOT more effort to shoot the bow, and he only pulls off one arrow at a time. its canon that revalis bow is heavier/harder to draw, and he manages to effortlessly stream arrows whilst fucking floating midair. i think teba, forever a revali fanboy, heard of how the champion mastered his own style of archery and sought to teach himself, but lacked one key thing: revalis mastery of wind.
evidence three point five: revali could easily use his powers to hold him in the air longer/slow his descent long enough for him to fire his shots. it makes sense, really. if he can use his gale to propel him, he can sit on the updraft for a hot sec, or even curve the path to carry him along while he lines up the shot. this would mean he wouldnt need to flap as much as other rito, who would obviously need to keep flying
evidence four: revalis fighting style and his needs. revali works with non rito, obviously. he needs to be able to communicate with them on the battlefield, and they wont understand the muffled chirps if he holds his string in his beak, so he needs his mouth free to speak hylian. also, revalis main tactic is fly up with gale, shoot, fall, either shoot more or use velocity and weight to knock around opponents, and then fly back up. he often needs both feet planted firmly on the ground to get a good hold of his gale, something that is harder to do if you have a bow in the way.
also, take for example the kick he delivers link in their fight (aoc). that would possibly damage the bow, or give the opponent a chance to grab his weapon, if he held it in his talons. and to switch from feet to back is a risky maneuver during freefall, and could lose precious seconds, and then when you get back in the air you need to get it off your back again. its much easier to keep the bow loosely in your wing the whole time, meaning your free to attack melee, land and rise all while not wasting a single moment getting your next shot lined up.
so yeah, i think the rito used the talon grip for aerial archery, and would often use the hand held method on the ground for a variety of reasons (more powerful shots?, easier in some situations like hunting), but revali was perhaps the first to use hand held aerial, another reason he was one of the greatest archers ever.
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bigskydreaming Ā· 5 months ago
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Imagine if you were a gay or bi man who tried a certain firefighter show because of all the attention it was getting for one of its mains having a later in life bi awakening.....and between seasons you ventured into its fandom in search of material to tide you over til the next one. And you're greeted by a deluge of posts and fics that are just cheerfully homophobic towards one half of the newly out bi character's canon relationship on the basis of 'well he's not the RIGHT gay guy' and pushing the idea that actually its fine to cheat on him because Reasons and he's sexually predacious based on......behind the scenes implications people have divined like they're reading fucking tea leaves.
But don't get it twisted....this fandom, like all fandoms, really cares about representation!
Sorry not sorry, but we really need to kill this idea that fandoms are welcoming and inviting and inherently progressive when they're frequently insular and reductive as fuck. Every single fandom I've been in has had major trends of people doubling down on their own headcanons and fanon interpretations of the characters and willfully enacting trends aimed at running off people who like the 'wrong' characters (usually characters marginalized along one or multiple axes), like the characters in the 'wrong ways' or other bullshit.
Scott is a Bad Friend fics overtaking Teen Wolf fandom was not incidental, it was a FEATURE of the fandom, because the vast majority of that fandom did not want to share its space with anyone who had the nerve to like its main character. Survivors complaining about or criticizing the prevalance of rape fics in a certain fandom has in my experience always led to a reactionary UPTICK in those fics, with gems like 'this character can, will, must be raped' in the tags making it crystal clear that some of these fics exist because how fucking DARE anyone try and push forth a narrative not agreed upon by Fandom Main.
I could cite examples for so many other fandoms, with the commonalities always being that vast majorities in these fandoms are explicitly reacting defensively to being asked to be more mindful of fandom trends revolving around or exacerbating racism, homophobia, transphobia, rape or abuse apologia, ableism, etc....
With the most prolific fucking rallying cry across countless fandoms being "No the fuck we will NOT be doing that," because lolololol.....
Fandom is an inherently progressive space, didn't you hear?
#anyway this has been on my mind in general for a few weeks now#and its more about fandoms just being fandoms#and like....what if they werent though#these patterns migrate from one to another as fans migrate from fandom to fandom bringing their bullshit with them#like do people never get tired of just trying to call DIBS and claim fandoms for themselves while shutting out anyone else#who might have a lot to fucking offer if you werent being so gd intent on staking a claim instead of sharing perspectives#and exploring new possibilities?#and I know not everyone links certain problems with racist homophobic and other behaviors to my own issues with dark fic and rape and#abuse apologia but I do inherently see it as sharing large portions of venn diagrams even though I do not consider being a survivor to be#something that demarcates privilege in the way that axes of identity do#as its situationally based rather than inherently identity based#but the way it can affect and shape large parts of peoples' identities begets commonalities#but my point is just.....a big part of why I so often lump it in is specifically because of how people react to these things or#defend against criticism across the board#like most people know my stance on censorship and how my blood boils when its people who are throwing accusations of#censorship at those raising criticisms....#but the point is just.....think about what censorship actually IS in all practical senses of the word#its about shutting down conversations. limiting the flow of information the sharing of perspectives and experiences#THATS WHAT MAKES IT BAD#now......what about criticism inherently lends itself to any of those things if you DONT accept as a foregone conclusion that criticism#is only ever offered up in bad faith and meant as a silencing tactic#instead of just a request or offered avenue of ways for things to be done better rather than not at all?#who is ACTUALLY out here trying to shut down convos and limit possibilities?#is it really the people being critical of fandom behaviors and trends?#or the ones doubling down at the first hint of any criticism and aggressively ramping up how frequently and visibly they engage in#the criticized behaviors in efforts to drive people away or as a silencing tactic of their own?#just saying
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lorillee Ā· 3 months ago
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in honor of kakashis birthday i thought i might as well finally release my half finished mini concept of "inverse lost tower where baby kakashi comes to hang out with shippuden era team 7. Badly" because obviously baby kakashi seeing his older self have relationships and happiness that baby kks doesnt think he can or deserves to have pisses him off on such a fundamental level hes so filled with rage he barely knows what to do with himself. not to mention that adult kakashis general outward lackadaisical demeanor also makes him angry because how can they have gone through all the same things and yet he still doesnt take anything seriously etc etc u already know all this. regardless the issue more than anything else was that im not much of a writer so i could never get the words to feel right so it'll probably stay unfinished forever, but take these anyways
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kurthummeldeservesbetter Ā· 16 days ago
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What's crazy that when Mel catches Viktor and Jayce breaking into Heimerdinger's office, the flashlight she shines at them is the same bright white that reflects on them in the season 2 intro. And in the same vein, when Mel catches them, Viktor looks directly into the light and Jayce looks away with his hand up.
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And since Mel is a Mage....she is that embodiment of the arcane that Viktor accepts (though not initially willingly) and Jayce is eventually blinded and overwhelmed by. And the only one not blinded by it is the one in control of it, aka the only one where the arcane comes naturally (being born into it).
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Rather than the two people who broke the law, and eventually the ethos, of the arcane itself, overwhelming it until it got out of control (the wild rune) and took over and corrupted someone trying to do good with it (Viktor) and ultimately, the one who has to end it is the one who both wanted to bring it to the masses, but was also blinded by it's warnings of misuse.
Which is why their story, at least those three, end where they begin. Mel, who when finding that Viktor and Jayce have successfully proven Jayce's theory states "It's time for a new era of magic" embraces her own she never knew she had. It was never Jayce and Viktor's magic, it was her own all along.
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And for Viktor and Jayce, they go back to the beginning:
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Except instead of being separated by the magic at the start, they embrace each other at the end.
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obsessingoverl Ā· 3 days ago
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Your first point is inaccurate. According to the National Center for Biotechnology Information, "In the USA, wild bees and honey bees have produced comparable quantities of pollination for most crops, including in agriculturally-intensive areas." Farming bees also makes veganism substantially more viable because it significantly increases crop yield, which would be necessary for the entire population to even go vegan. Additionally, bees are willing participants in their Farming and can/do leave of they are not provided with quality conditions.
While yes, farmed honeybees can displace wild bees, this does not have the negative impact of decreased pollination, as I showed above. There are likely other negative impacts, true, but they would be more limited.
I don't think they're always crushed (read: killed by squishing) but you have a point here. It is very unfortunate that some beekeepers are killing their hives, though that seems to be regarded by most on the beekeeping community as unethical.
I need more sources on this because I can see that bees are sometimes placed on trucks for transport when necessary, but it seems that beekeepers take great care to prevent harm.
That's true. Honey is objectively straight sugar, just not table sugar (sucrose). A carb is a carb is a carb. 4 calories per grams. (And to your point about tea, I fully agree. I don't drink tea for religious reasons and the health benefits seem very overstated)
While those are not better from a health perspective (re: carb is carb no matter what), I can respect you making that choice for moral reasons after what I've researched. I am not going to make the same one, but I appreciate you taking the time to interact with me.
What veganism did for me was bring up all the issues I had with society in the first place.
Why ARE some still treated like less-than than others for being different? Why are we taught not to care? What if it was me in their place? Why should I be in the privileged position and not them? What makes humans so special?
So now when I have found my voice you better believe I'm gonna speak out.
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oceanwithouthermoon Ā· 3 months ago
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"fandom discourse isnt that serious" yeah duh but i feel like i should be allowed to talk about things like people being misogynistic or justifying abuse without being told im complaining too much or something, when these are such extremely prevalent issues in fandom šŸ˜­
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yuridovewing Ā· 9 hours ago
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no seriously, who is feeling represented by toadnettlepoolā€™s ā€œpolyamoryā€ when there is no proof they are actually polyam as opposed to it being an affair, the man is largely absent, and the women are only shown being catty and rude to each other. like. do any polyam people actually feel good about that example or is this just people hopelessly trying to find examples of how no, the erins ARE queer friendly and people are being too mean, we swear, look look look this guy had kids with two women!!!!
like. are we sure weā€™re satisfied with the bar being that low
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acourtofquestions Ā· 3 months ago
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Overhead, the stars shone clear and bright, and though Mala had only once appeared to him at dawn, on the foothills across this very city, though she might be little more than a strange, mighty being from another world, he offered up a prayer anyway.
Then, he had begged Mala to protect Aelin from Maeve when they entered Doranelle, to give her strength and guidance, and to let her walk out alive. Then, he had begged Mala to let him remain with Aelin, the woman he loved. The goddess had been little more than a sunbeam in the rising dawn, and yet he had felt her smile at him.
Tonight, with only the cold fire of the stars for company, he begged her once more.
A curl of wind sent his prayer drifting to those stars, to the waxing moon silvering the camp, the river, the mountains.
He had killed his way across the world; he had gone to war and back more times than he cared to remember. And despite it all, despite the rage and despair and ice he'd wrapped around his heart, he'd still found Aelin. Every horizon he'd gazed toward, unable and unwilling to rest during those centuries, every mountain and ocean he'd seen and wondered what lay beyond... It had been her. It had been Aelin, the silent call of the mating bond driving him, even when he could not feel it.
They'd walked this dark path together back to the light. He would not let the road end here.
#Chapter 23#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Rowan Whitethorn#Rowaelin#Essar#Mala#more starry quotes#lord of the north#I will find you#no spoilers pls 1st read to read along with me pt 4 of 4 perspectives more notes/quotes/reacts in tags; spoilers in both post & tags#They would not all go in all go out. ā€” he wonā€™t leave without Aelinā€¦ and probably Cairn dead#Ready to unleash hell when he sent a flare of his magic diverting soldiers to their side while Rowan made his run for Aelin.#She'd protested but even Gavriel had told her that she was mortal. Untrained. And what she'd done todayā€¦ Rowan didnā€™t have the words#thank you for Elide appreciation day#He trusted Essar. She'd never liked Maeve had outright said she did not serve her with any willingness or pride.#But these last few hours before dawn when so many things could go wrong...#the full circle of him praying to Mala in HoF and then mentioning it in QoS and EoS and now here in KoAšŸ˜­#She had to be there. Aelin had to be there.#If they had come so close but wound up being the very thing that had caused Maeve to take Aelin away AGAIN#The bond within him lay dark and slumbering. No indication of her proximity. ā€” Maeve doing that too AGH I HATE HER SO MUCH#Essar had no idea that Aelin was being kept here until Elide informed her. How many others hadn't known? How well had Maeve hidden her?#ā€” maybe that means thereā€™s some good face on their side who might help if they know or learn?#ah rowaelins love language of revenge and compartmentalizing#Overhead the stars shone clear and bright and though Mala had only once appeared to him at dawn on the foothills across this very city#though she might be little more than a strange mighty being from another world he offered up a prayer anyway.#his magic sending a prayer to the northern stars for dawn to stay with the woman he loves ā€” even back thenšŸ˜­#Tonight with only the cold fire of the stars for company he begged her once more.#HE SAYS COLD FIRE BECAUSE ITS NOT HIS FIREHEARTšŸ˜­ and the the darkness back to the light ā€” IT WILL NOT END HERE WE WONT LET IT HE WONT LET IT#and the fact he knew he loved her back thenšŸ˜­ and all those centuries before when he didnā€™t know whyšŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
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