#even when i draw him i feel ill
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anyone else unable to look at images of characters for too long like you have to back out almost immediately either out of embarrassment or shyness
#thatsme with nook rifht now#like im going through his wiki gallery for refs and jesuschrist auuughhAUUUUU#Icant look at him like 😭 im too shy#and the thing is that in almost every single render hes Starinf right at you#like omfg stopppp#hes so .im sick#ithink its just his eyes#even when i draw him i feel ill#sorry
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big fan of panels where they look like they wld beat me up
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuuji#megumi#YUUJI WILL NOT COOPERATE TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME >:(((#is it the angle ? is it the expression?? the bangs??????? am i just a fraud and a fake yuuji liker i dont know at this point#god#just . just take it i cant fiddle with the proportions any more ill go insane#it was worse when i tried colouring it but im STILL not 100% sold on it no matter what i shift or tilt#megumi my darling boy i love u at least You always have my back :'<#honestly my leading theory is that bc my yuuji design looks objectively More different than his canon design#its more prone 2 looking Wrong in my head#but even so !!! if i *have* my yuuji design down why does it still feel like im fighting fr my gd life when i try 2 draw him#it feels like he is shattering my drawing hand and smiling at me n taunting me w those shiny puppy eyes th entire time#head in hands I Don't Get It#when will i get it#anyway scoreboard yuuji: 623453766235 hina: 0
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“he was mentally ill. this monster was a- was a sick fantasy. a product of his dementia.”
“…i saw it too. does that make me disturbed? demented? does… that make me sick too?”
#txf#the x files#dana scully#fox mulder#folie a deux#this episode … this EPISODE!!!!!!#genuinely so indicative of how much they trust each other….#between mulder just . having to rely on scully for the last part of the ep#scully thinking he’s off his fucking rocker and still looking into what he asks her to look into bc she TRUSTS him . bc she LOVES him !!!!#and maybe he’s a little nuts but goddamnit she will at least check it out !! just in case he’s right!!!#AND she lies for him all the time . i mean she always does this whenever he decides to go nuts But specifically in this ep…#looks skinner in the eye and goes . yea man im totally fully with mulder on this . and he’s definitely not being weird and i definitely kno#what’s going on with him#she lies for mulder all the time its soooo…#anyways . drawing wise this drove me nuts i hate drawing mulder . he’s so hard for me to draw#they’re kinda kirie and shuichi coded in the bottom part but . well . why not . might as well be#ALSOOO i chose that quote for the bottom bc . well . does she think he’s crazy? like actually for real?#i feel like every time scully talks about mulder (up to season five at least as thats where im at) its contained in some way?#in her reports . to family . to skinner . to mulder !#i think the only time she’s Really honest is in the confessional but even then…#bc its not like she’s against speaking her mind . i mean generally and situational but for ppl she’s close to she usually isnt#but when it comes to mulder it always feels contained and like she’s making excuses for him (he is always her exception .#llike whenevrr he gets some disease or affliction or whatever she ALWAYS jumps to going ‘but well… sometimes there’s this excuse’ and she#does this w a lot considering shes science focused but w mulder shes always like . well he ISNT crazy because uhhhh .#this hyperspecific scenario that is in no fuckin way the case)#but does she think he’s crazy? does HE think she thinks he’s crazy?#is he asking about this specific case or is he asking in general? over the entirety of the show?#its been five years scully. is he crazy? sick? demented?#has this all been a sick fantasy fueled by mental illness? youre the doctor scully . surely you have the answer?#anyways i dont think she knows . and if that is the case — what does that mean for her?
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(AU)
What if you died and something divine loved you so much it couldn't cope with that fact? What if they tried bringing you back but the result was wrong?
More doodles + rambles below:
Now What if what came back was just off. Looks at the divine without the memories that went back decades. It looks, behaves and works in a way just off enough in a way to make the god unable to look at it. it's not you. it's not. it can't be.
.... but what if what got pulled back was still you, but its- YOU'RE wrong and broken in ways you cant understand anymore.
The apocalypse draws closer and closer and you don't know why every day that passes you seem to be falling more and more apart too. The god is gone. You are alone.
....Anyway yeah i fucked up a perfectly normal Lovestory Au. i gave it anxiety is what i did. sorry for horrid typing in 2nd person trying to explain stuff im bad at explaining <3 i draw, not write for a reason lol.
#great god grove#ggg click clack#ggg thespius#ggg lovestory#dont have a name for this au but its haunted me for a week and i finally relented when i saw the fact gods CAN create sentient things#thanks huzzle for letting me be evil [thumbs up]#ANYWAY I PROMISE THERES A HAPPY ENDING IN MY HEAD IM JUST CRUEL AND EVIL#AND ALSO INCREDIBLY CRINGE. APOLOGIES. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN IM ALONE W MY THOUGHTS W NO ONE TO BOUNCE IDEAS OFF OF.#lovestory except everything went wrong at the last second and now everything sucks. Clicky's alone away from everyone. thespius is JUST GON#Huzzle is absolutely losing it's shit in the corner because it's the one that found out first.#Bauhauzzo is trying to not have the world end#and Missy M is absolutely distraught about how everything's gone sideways so fast and is about to start accidentally flooding the grove#cobi isnt even a god yet. (SAD. I MISS HER ALREADY)#sorry this is probably incomprehensible. oops#i think in images and concepts not words so translating a bunch of those hard.#fun part about this was absoultely drawing faces just ever so off from how i draw click clacks expressions to try and nail it aint right#what being off usually being the mouth#if u have questions feel free to ask. ill just stare at them in fear like a deer in headlights /silly#This is Clicky hes just.... a bit messed up. that *is* him; not a copy to be absolutely clear#...even if thespius doesnt think it is#anyway yeah. purple hyacinths right?#sniles#shrivels up and dies#ggg love and loss au
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okay unironically I love so much that porter is like this world SUCKS its BAD here and it HURTS you why do you care abt it!!! and literally every single bad kid is like ngl we just hate ur ass it does not matter what ur philosophy is
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#not art#fhjy spoilers#its!!! gods I will Be My Ass in the tags rn. but thats so like. deliciously setting typical#like porter's desire is to transcend and his contempt for the world he's in feels. idk Real#like he plays the game bc he wants to win and be done with it. how do I word this#yknow. being a god would like. be his win state. when he gets that happening thats it his story is done he checks out#meanwhile the bad kids do actually just like playing the game lmao. like they love adventuring!#theyre so solidly Of This World. they carry the values that can only be born of it and they like having mastery over it#its a meta angle that I think is very fun specifically for d20 being in such a unique position in the zeitgeist when it first started#the rat grinders are from DnD Writ Large. porter wants to escape. but this is the bad kids' home its Their Actual Play Show#which makes it so fucking excellent to me that porter's question is somewhat of merit! its their show and it tries very hard to punish them#and they just straight up dont listen to him here lmao bc they hate him but! since the moment the academic track ended its been clear#that they save the world bc they Like Playing. With Each Others#thats what riz thinks the core of adventuring is! thats why fig stayed! and I also think thats why this hovers over elmville now and#a dead god is coming back in the school gym. porter is a shit evangelist but even if hes a good one I dont think it wouldve worked like he#wants it to. the only way he couldve escaped is if he'd not involved elmville at all. thats where the bad kids met dude#its a shitty place that fucks with them but they all come back here bc they wanna play with each others#and in that regard I think thats what the stress tokens ultimately means. Is This Game Still Fun To Play. ITS A RAGEQUIT LIMIT#Im literally running from one end to another of this conspiracy board Ive pulled out of nowhere#Ill draw after this I just wanna get this out. gods this episode has done nothing but furthering my delusion of grandeur actually#Im the hottest smartest manthing on earth Im king fucking midas over here. anyways uh! great ep!
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Some process gifs of my paintings this year!
#the art of a lemon wedge#art process#man#i love painting#moat of my focus on these this year have just been committing to loosening up#vary my strokes and just not over working a painting?#most of that just means trying to keep as much of that first painting pass#since its has the biggest strokes and most energy when i lay it down#and also#NO ZOOMING IN#AHHHH#all this is painted with my seeing the entire piece and just working from big to medium then small#which is good cause u can keep track of details and what youve missed but it also feels like a huge mess for so long#at times its hard to see where ur even going#my favorite piece i think might be my otacon one#i didnt include him in here just cause that piece is like....3 layers?#it very much feels like those how to books that are like. circle. now draw the entire owl#BUT thats literally how i figured it out#1. base 2. simple clean 3. fine line detail#i do eventually want to do a full recording but the thing is#i just dont want to ......#ahaha#but i do#its just the idea of constantly being watched you know?#despite me wanting to share it....#anyways#TO NEXT YEAR#wonder what ill make#:D
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Halo
#mmm ok lemme just start w the tags then ill ramble#welt yang#hsr#honkai star rail#hi3#honkai impact 3rd#my art#ok anyways. i didnt have too many thoughts when i started it beyond “uni is killing me but i NEED to do my daily drawings”#some thoughts did go through my mind while drawing which determined the direction this went in#which is that this could be a badass heroic drawing but.. it isn't. this doesn't feel very happy does it?#it makes him look a bit lonely#but something about the pose and the red is ominous. like he's unreadable but theres something sad about it#the moon in the background has a bit of a double meaning - namely the actual moon and its purpose in hi3#as the final destination of the honkai and the story but.. him as well#and as a halo. i love that the three major organizations in hi3 are basically religious groups#and AE basically worships joyce and his legacy (!) and welt tries to fill that. i mean the title sovereign alone means like. absolute ruler#an untouchable figure in terms of power and control over their people#so i really like to give him some sort of fucked up fake halo. he can imitate a saintly figure but it dehumanizes him in turn#he even talks about humanity like he's not a part of it#what's left is some kind of creature mimicking divinity but becoming isolated and inhuman in the process#(gesturing wildly) THINK ABOUT THE COSMIC HORROR POTENTIAL OF BEING A HERRSCHER. HE LITERALLY PERCEIVES REALITY DIFFERENTLY. CMON.
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i wish to be your shadow , forever behind you , even if i am not good enough
plus some extra. they are quite literally metal boxes. i wonder how large they are in actually. im assuming human size? i also never realized just how complicated hokma's was.. i think its all the gears
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#hokma#hokma lobcorp#ayin#ayin lobcorp#im always worried about ooc but then a realize. IT DOESNT MATTER!!! i want them to hug#but then i think abt it and i dont know how to draw hugs. does it matter? NO!! you can tell what it is . good enough#anyways tagging w ayin is always weird because its not QUITE him (from my understanding im not even done im on day 47(pain))#its a mix of consciousness between a blank slate who processes and feels things in a similar manner but then memories put onto him that --#-- logically are his but even then theyre seperate entetied in a way even still (angela noted this in one of the days cant remember which)#so its like.... x and a put into one . i thinkk where its going w it is that each are different aspects ended up experiencing and processin#this grief and hopelessness in different ways? and then ending up being assigned a name as a reflection of different aspects born of the --#-- character that was the entirety of 'ayin'. different aspects isolated via extreme measures when they are ALL ayin just... yknow extremes#FROM MY UNDERSTANDING DONT CORRECT ME IM NOT DONE!!! IM NOT DONE!!!! ITLL HAPPEN 98 HRS SO FAR TRUST#((well day 47 when i queued this to be posted .. hopefully ill be past that and with a acceptable death count))#(((I did btw what the fuck hatbthe fuck whayt hfbf ck)))#I FROGOY i#x lobcorp
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Invoking the quadrants to explain sifloop hurt me psychically but. You are so fucking right. Anyway wanted to say I so so so enjoy your loop + sifloop + sloopis + honestly ISAT as a whole headcanons/ideas. I feel like you really capture the tone of how fucked up yet meaningful song and loops relationship is. And also how real the Isa torment nexus is. It's enriching to him <3
you look me in the eyes and tell me that simultaneous pity, pacification, armistice and rivalry aren't four of the most fitting adjectives for this goddamn ship its insane right (also thank u for the compliment on the headcanons i love to. try and read texts in as supported a manner as i can)
also yeah. get in the torment nexus pear wiggler boy. dance for my amusement
#im surgically removing the killshot from an isiloops comic as we speak. i will probably post the thumbnails of the full thing in a followup#but it was kicking my ass and im trying to put way too much information into a comic and it feels very handholdy and condescending#because of it. you guys dont need it spelling outtttt and it makes the pacing badddd#but its too much meat to just throw away so i will reveal the thumbnails for the rest when im done taking the best bit out#and presenting it on its own#but i think ive got like 2 sifloop socratic dialogues ill probably do first since theyre like. less drawing. more talking#isat spoilers#even if not really its in the spirit of things#lucabytetalks#isat isabeau#tagging him for the doodle#doodlebyte
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My husband and I (he's my boyfie but I am delulu af) are talking 'bout Cherik and my normie hype self when Charles is on Marvel Rivals, the interactions he'll have with Magneto and Tumblr (esp. your fanart *chef's kiss*) would flood this site.
Me: My feeds would be fill with Marvel Rivals Cherik fanarts on Tumblr HDJDBJS
Him: Ig they'll pop their Cherik
Just sharin' lmao *rolls*
POP THEIR CHERIK may you be wed before the decade ends
#snap chats#every time i hear a pun i feel like a joyous king as i guffaw and cackle. alone in my dorm at 8AM VJELKJAK#just reminds me how i was playin rivals with kayla last night and i ko'd a storm#and i still let out a Cheeky Chuckle when mags goes 'i wish i could say i was /shocked/ ororo' LIKE YOURE NOT FUNNY#YOU ARE NOT FUNNY I KNOW YOURE SMILINGGGG he thinks he's so funny he's insufferable <- i desire him carnally#anyways.. how do we know ill make fanart of rivals cherik tho huh..... what if i think it mid..... so thats a lie lbr jVLKERJLKA#I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHATS UP WITH THEM imagine if there Wasnt any interactions. oh my god#worlds most awkward divorce they aint even on speaking terms#itd be even funnier if they only 'talk' to eacch other through other characters they gotta pass a message along HELP#im still waiting for the day charles' rivals design gets dropped cause yboy already got somethin stupid he wanna draw JVLKEJAKLJ#nay my prediction is theyre gonna be grossly in love. either that or divorced but Of Course still have feelings#because theyre hopeless. idk its prob gon be krakoa vers theyll be one tender glance away from shaggin on point tbh lbr
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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
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Pinup!!!!! the baby!!!! the guy!!!!
sorry if this looks kinda iffy the majority of this was drawn between 11pm and 2:30am so i was very tired loll
also yes that is a totoro bag i dont care if totoro doesnt exist in cyber city he has a totoro bag come at me
Pinup belongs to @turntableart
#read all the tags before you reblog otherwise you will be confused#i feel like i got the body type wrong uaughhh#i feel like the proportions are inaccurate#im blaming it on the clothes i promise the sketch looked good then the clothes went and ruined it#i feel really bad admitting this but now that i think about it i literally never draw chubby characters#all my addisons are pretty long and gangly for the most part and then spamton is just very small in my style hes not really pudgy#and tbh i didnt really draw full bodies very often before addisons and spamton but my one (1) oc was also pretty long and lanky#probably because i myself am pretty long and lanky#ueuugough hauguh#i need to practice more#also i feel like the shoes look weird#im generally not too happy with it but its ok ig#i was terrified of making the features too exaggerated and being offensive and i think i went to much the other way and just made him skinn#ffs#ill draw him again i promise#and it will look better pinky promise#🤙🤙🤙 theres no proper pinky emoji#i love him tho hes cute#i really like his original design#uururuguggg#ugh debating whether i should even post this or if i should keep tinkering with it#im gonna tinker with it a bit more i will continue writing tags when im done#ok tinkering over im much happier with it now#i made him a bit shorter and that solved all my problems#i think i have a habit of drawing characters too tall ngl lmao#also not too happy with the rendering but its good enough#uh im only posting the tinkered version that im happy with so if you want the untinkered version then just ask lol#pixel art#art#turn off the lights arg
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Let's meet Jeffery (Jeffery!) Shoots dope lefty Yellin', "You can't catch me!" Drove way out to the sea in a Jetski
Oh, my Gertrude, I don't wanna hurt you I just wanna live like a soda commercial Found her on the shore in her brand new church shoes Covered in burns, face all purple!!!
humanformer whirls… cuz I’m… obsessed… forever and ever I am obsessed and in love w him and I also, rlly enjoy drawing my human version of him more than what he actually looks like ghgh- I’m srry… for that…
i actually have MORE pics of him im still working on,,, cuz im in a mood, so look forward to those as well lol (Also, in case its hard to read, the words in the 2nd to last pic say: “eye removed, lid stitched shut” + “Surgical at first, whirl ripped out the stitches on purpose. (To have control)”)
#transformers#humanformers#maccadam#whirl#tf whirl#mtmte#eye trauma#i CANT HELP IT IM IN LOVE W HIM#OK#also i find my human ver very fun to draw...#honestly whirl is actually one of the few transformers designs i actually feel kinda confident and comfortable drawing#but... idk!!! i like drawing him as a human!!!#also pls.. do not get on my case about the eye patch flip flopping ghghg#i cant decide what side i want it to be on.. and.. even when i do decide.#which is usually on the side his hairs fucked up cuz that makes sense#sometimes. ill swap it just cuz it just looks better on the other side in certain pics ghghg#doodles#there’s an extra version of the first pic up on my twitter too#I didn’t put it here cuz I didn’t want the post to be too long ghgh- but it exists!
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still feel so vindicated by tpatd. i dont rly have proof of it but i always wanted tlq to be a bit of a strange beast but i was worried it conflicted w canon (the wraith in particular, and the lack of a visible mouth in his appearances) so i scrapped some ideas i had to make him more beastly so tpatd was such an incredible and welcome surprise
#stp spoilers#i know theres the whole 'fuck canon' thing and i support that but i tend to try rly hard to make my works as canon compliant as possible#it bothers me if i dont#which prob sounds strange from someone who draws objects w animal limbs#but that feels more like artistic interpretation of simple designs than contradictory#and i also just sorta felt like everyone else must be onto smth or know smth i dont so seeing the popular general design for tlq#made me think that it mustve been intended for him to be so humanlike#being wrong made me so excited i got nauseous when i got to see tpatd#love that the guy has a huge beak and a creepy smile#i love a character who acts very normal and personality wise is generally just Some Guy#but is actually a weird guy who is a little scary#ill post some of my art of him in a bit after i get some food#actually art too lol not just joke stuff#i gotta start populating this blog w art ive been making since i got back into the game#maybe even my animation wip.... gotta work on that#AND i gotta get my voice designs posted bc theyre not that out there but im happy w them and had fun making them!
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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
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welllll hes not properly clothed yet but i suppose i can show you jules ref wip. son boy allowed
#doesnt go on the art blog yet . bc i dont feel like it#the watermark makes the scars kinda hard to see.....#with these clothes on u cant see how the leg is attached (belt thing) but i dont feel like posting a censored nude so. u get what u get#at least u can see it at all. u wont once i draw his default outfit lmao#i havent made a ref for this man in ten million years the last one is from 2020 & it was uhhhh bad#wtf was i doing with his hair... why did i make it so long....#it was right after i made cameron i think so i was probably trying to make them look less similar. but he just looks better w shorter hair#or maybe it was bc i wanted to be able to draw him with his hair tied back actually. idk. whatever. we are pretending that never happened#dont look for it idk if i ever even posted it anywhere lmAO#oc: jules#ill probably delete this when i post the finished thing (lie)(will forget) but ig it can go in his oc tag
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