#even though this one is about depression :/
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Kiss Kiss Fallen Tree!
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Sorry to everyone who was looking forwards to this comic only to find out I put WWX in the ugliest outfit.#Continuity came first. Plus let's be honest; he did *not* show up in anything fancy. Or in all black as seen in most fanart.#We are at the middle of WWX depression arc. His self-care was 100% because Jin Yanli would be sad if he didn't try to look nice.#Okay okay. Fine I've delayed talking about the kiss long enough.#It is absolutely a core LWJ scene over a WWX scene. Which is made even more fascinating because we don't get his POV.#But we get so many insights! His loss of control and his firmness all contrasted against how he trembles.#And all of that wrapped up in a wonderful self-loathing bow! You go Lan Zhan! You hated yourself so much for this!#WWX is a hilarious narrator for this because he is truly just...baffled by what's going on.#He would push the person away but he doesn't want to hurt their feelings or pride (putting other people first again are we?)#I do understand why this one is divisive for people though. I choose to look at it through a character/humourous lens.#I've seen people defend and admonish this scene as a particularly shitty thing LWJ did and let's be very clear here: It was.#That's why I like it. LWJ did a shitty thing and struggles with it. It's part of what makes him so robust as a character.#It's also fine if you enjoy this scene for it's eroticism. You're not a bad person for that. You are just A Person.#People will have their own experiences with this topic. Be kind to each other alright?
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What makes me sad about the ao3 ddos attack is that fanfic writers are still gonna be the most underappreciated part of fandom despite how these past couple days prove they're really part of the backbone. Writers are still getting little to no recognition especially if they aren't one of the top kudos fics or have a small following. They'll continue to get thousands of hits but only a handful of kudos and maybe a comment or two. And of those comments, they're going to get some person insulting their work or making them feel pressured.
Maybe when you go to download your fave fics now that ao3 is back, you leave a comment for that author. Just something small, not even that much. And no, being shy or worried about being cringe is not a good excuse. It's once again showing that the writers you missed so desperately are actually worth so little to you
#i just wish people would comment more#that one post i made that got a bunch of recognition is filled with comments of how 'yeah no i wont comment im too shy/cringe'#and it just proves my point that people dont care about fic writers even though they sob over not getting to read their fic#its depressing#ao3#fanfiction#archive of our own
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Hehe this man is broken and severely emotionally distressed. Silly lovable guy but given self esteem issues because of the crushing weight of perfectionism. Not so funny if you think about it too long. But at least on the upside he cries pretty :))
No but seriously for all those who relate to Mr. Puzzles just want you to know your accomplishments alone do not define your value and worth as a person. Even when you’re a messy work in progress, you are loved and appreciated more than you may recognize. Thank you for being here. Don’t get me wrong it’s good to be idealistic and set goals, but don’t undermine yourself if you don’t get that perfect score….or if you start to fall behind compared to everyone else. Everyone goes through those moments of doubt or perceived failure. We need to fail every once in a while. And that’s okay
…a-anyways funny goofy dramatic TV guy we love him so much so silly so slay he lives in my head rent free yipeee. This animation is dedicated to him because if anyone in the cast deserved a feature length film it was definitely him, and he sure took up the spotlight in Puzzlevison and absolutely owned it. I’m excited for his future endeavors ✨
#someone please how did I make this in two days wh-#wow wow wow what’s going on here how did I do that this is scary super powers being unlocked right now#Mr. Puzzles hyperfixation give me strength and motivation to get shit done I guess??? yay???#like holy shit I’m so productive in my art all the sudden whats this feeling of dopamine and happiness-#WHAT HAPPENED TO MY DEPRESSION WHERE’D IT GO#sir really stepped into my brain and yeeted my depression saying ‘looks like you won’t be needing that anymore’#and now he things he can just puppeteer me around to make countless art pieces in his image and honor??#he’s using me as his pawn to spread his glorious face around the internet HELP jksjksp#no actally don’t it’s very comfortable and freeing here I love letting my silly fixations go rampant <3#I don’t even need to think about what I want to do art stuff just happens naturally#CHEERS TO FICTIONAL MEN YIPEEE#wow he’s so mentally ill just like me fr /j#also now I’m staring to guilt trip myself because I feel bad watching him cry even though I’M THE ONE WHO ANIMATED IT WHYYYY#hplonesome art#mr. puzzles animation#smg4 mr puzzles animation#mr puzzles smg4 animation#sad mr puzzles#mr. puzzles crying animation#smg4 mr puzzles#mr. puzzles smg4
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*crawls out of the psd file covered in blood* AUGH
#first time in awhile ive been happy with a transient group shot#my art#i feel so bad bc all of the art ive been making for it is like YAAAY hooray happy space friends !! :3#but narratively this is my hard-hitting depression series and i put in. things.#ive been thinking about making some mini comics or scenes of the darker stuff thats more true to the story but im worried its cringe edgy#even though it is based on my real ass life#like one reason sulu wears that hat bc in his 20s his depression was so bad that he slept for 18 hrs a day#and being in bed so long rubbed a bald spot in the back of his head#which is a real thing#you can do#speaking from#experience
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Look, I just think it's VERY funny and on brand that I thought of an entire premise of colorful characters for half the cast and immediately drew the only one void of color.
#my characters#i will not bore you all too much in the main post but now its story time in the tags so yeefuckinghaw#noll is a fae and is distinctly the only one that just lacks colors#at first he was like well surely i can wear colorful stuff to make up for my dark hair and eyes !#and then he overhears some of the fae talking about how hes a blemish to the fae and hes like well fuck#guess its time to go all in baby! and decks himself out in all black and jagged clothing#and he tries to play it off as hes an idiot and a lot of the fae actually believe its not ALL an act#like they can tell he thinks about stuff but he normally does it staring into space so they dont care to ask#cause surely it isnt important enough to brood about hes just thinking about stuff#and he really REALLY has a lot of confidence issues and worries that more fae are disturbed by his darkness than let on#but then the other fae that like to hang out with him are like#YOOOOOO THATS OUR LIL VOID! THATS OUR LIL GUY! our lil black spot look at him hes so edgy and cute!#and treat him like a pet cat at times giving him head pats even if he bats their hands away#and the plot premise is that some of the fae are bored and decide they should go play with some humans! give THEM enrichment too!#and noll gets roped into it and The Game is basically go find a human partner and convince them to be an ally#then the fae give the humans cool lil toys (weapons) and are like GO FORTH MY CHAMPION!#so noll keeps like ... not picking anyone to participate because its not just A Game to him#if he can prove victorious in A Game with outside factors such as humans then he can prove hes not#an absolute disappointment to the fae like he has a lot riding on this in his mind#and his friends are just like buddy you cant even play if you dont pick a human you gotta#anyway here is noll and then i have ideas for two other fae and also a veeeery vague idea for two of the humans though not as sure yet#rae if you read all this you should know the cobalt is a fae thanks bye#i am so stressed posting ocs every single time and i am incredibly depressed and anxious#so good lord please let me not just delete all the tags in an hour bc im ashamed
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Well, at least Fukuzawa got his wish granted, I guess.... he's finally inside Fukuchi <3
#bungou stray dogs#bsd spoilers#bsd 120.5#please laugh i know i made myself laugh.... if only to keep from crying lol#the oocification of Fukuzawa will be studied in the history books for years to come#that's not my fukuzawa...... that's his discount twin fucksack#because his dick is so far up the ass of his dead pathetic dumbass crusty ex boyfriend it's not even funny#he is dickriding that fucker HARD#and here i thought the FANDOM woobified fukuchi out the wazoo. but oh my god no fukuzawa himself has them all beat this chapter#man is coco for cocopuffs and babying that grown-ass man like he's 5#it's truly pathetic and depressing to see i'm just beyond words#'you deceived him by keeping quiet the issues that would plague a union of mankind' NO??? LITERALLY ANYONE WITH A BRAIN WOULD KNOW#THAT THAT WOULD NEVER FUCKING WORK???? THAT IT'S THE STUPIDEST MOST NAIVE PLAN AND VIEW OF THE WORLD IMAGINABLE????#WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS IS A TODDLER INSTEAD OF A GROWN-ASS SOLDIER WITH YEARS OF MILITARY EXPERIENCE#Fyodor feels like the only one at this point that hasn't truly lost the plot in all this...... the only one with a goddamn brain#I HATE THAT I HAVE TO AGREE WITH HIM!!!!!!!!! I HATE THAT IT FELT SO CATHARTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!#and i hate even more that the series clearly doesn't want us to agree with him and instead believe that fukuzawa is still right#even though he was spouting the most naive braindead bullshit imaginable that early series Fukuzawa would NEVER SAY#WHAT ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN BRO??? WHY DO YOU CARE MORE ABOUT DEFENDING THE HONOR OF THAT CRUSTY MF THAN#THE SAFETY OF YOUR KIDS????#WHERE DID ALL YOUR INTELLIGENCE GO#i fucking hated the writing ever since fukuchi's plan/motives were first revealed and it was played completely straight (and gay lol)#but to hear fukuzawa actually come out and defend that ridiculous bs is just.......... again i have no words#it's insane. what happened. what happened to you fukuzawa. all i can do is laugh it's so sad it's so stupid. I WAS CRINGING SO BAD.#and was so glad when he finally died so he finally SHUT THE FUCK UP. i hate it here. i miss when BSD was good so bad man 😭😭😭#it would be one thing if it felt like he's so deep in grief that he's completely deluded himself that fukuchi was right and had pure motive#and wasn't an idiotic piece of shit himself just like fyodor#but nah again it just feels like we're supposed to side with him lmao even though fyodor was exactly right in everything he said#when your villain sounds more intelligent/correct than your hero and that's not an intentional writing choice..... that's not good bros!!!#anyway may your stupidity be purified in the soul of your dead bf fukuzawa 🙏 and we get the true you back
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This was like 2 weeks after watching the movie
-Soup rambles in tags-
#chara_55#transformers#transformers one#Dude I was having another depressive episode at that time & then I discovered TF1#Yknow it's bad when the Marketing flopped the movie when I barely saw any trailers of the movie in our country#TF1 had the same themes as the ones I was having problems with (the world problem & relationship stuff)#that's why I balled my eyes out after watching the movie#I've been a TF fan since I was a kid but I was only appreciating it in the shadows cuz the gender norm set for kids back then yknow#how transformers are only for boys only hhsbshh- 💥#anyways as a returnee fann#I see more people appreciating TF alot & that's really cool#I can openly fangirl over silly robots now yey#I've been nagging my best friend about the movie alot & all of the lore AHHAH I cant contain my exitement#especially my#starscream#oh how I missed that silly robot#sentinel prime#in tf1 looks so fine though I hate to admit that#man I should be hating him but 😔#Also can I mention Starscream literally encouraging D-16 to hit him harder & more then regretting it later after he pulled out his gun HDSH#Cant forget him saying “Hit me!” “harder!” “yeah more! haha!”#Good lord starscream you're not even trying to hide it#((omg wait did you seriously read my entire rambling? bye-))#soups' talk
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I can't imagine being anywhere near as insane as Trump supporters because my dad told me that he, earlier, drove past a guy putting a "Harris Walz 2024" sign outside his house and decided to yell out at him "TRUMP 2024 YOU COCKSUCKER" and flip him off. And he laughed when he told me because he thinks that yelling at a man (emphasized man because he thinks men should be "better" than women, and "better" would be voting for Trump in this case) who is voting for a "whore who slept her way to the top" (his exact words) is funny. And expected me to laugh with him. And got angry when I didn't and just stared at him in disbelief. Even though he already knows that I don't like Donald Trump. These people fully expect others to find their weird ass derogatory words and behavior FUNNY. Donald Trump is leading a cult of old people who he brainwashed into being delusional with him.
#vote blue#harris walz 2024#kamala harris#tim walz#i know some fucker is gonna be here saying like “it's true i was the tree”#i didn't see this with my own two eyes but i've lived 21 years with my dad and i HAVE seen him do shit like this#but it was mostly just honking at random people on the sidewalk or yelling “WHERE Y'GOING” in their direction out the window#like it's still embarrassing and weird but not derogatory#and since being retired and having nothing to do all day except watch trump and more trump and more trump he has gotten worse#not a day has gone by in the last four months where he hasn't insulted joe biden or kamala harris#and every single time he has expected my brother and i to laugh at his insult even though he knows that we don't like trump#it's so depressing watching your own parent become a worse person#he was already one of the insufferable republicans before trump and now he's a trump republican which is even worse#and yk what's even worse it's that my mom has no spine against men so if her boyfriend asks for her to vote trump she'll be like “okay”#she's not a republican she just doesn't care because she thinks voting doesn't matter#my aunt who i have always loved so much now calls up my dad to talk about trump with him and i never heard her swear until this year#my other aunt makes talking about trump her entire personality when she has a gambling addiction she should be treating instead#my dad's side is a bunch of trump supporters and my mom's side just doesn't give a fuck#and i can't vote because i'll get kicked out of here faster than the speed of light the second my dad sees#the paper in the mail saying that my voter history has been updated#even if it's not public who i voted for because he knows that whoever i vote for will never be trump#sorry#tag vent#this sucks#please vote
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sits up in bed. so lana and ema definitely thought they were responsible for edgeworth "choosing death", right?
(the rest of this post was supposed to go in the tags, because it's not very well organised or written, but it got too long so. here are the slightly edited tags for your reading pleasure (or otherwise)):
i was going to make this solely about ema because she's the obvious one with her open adoration of edgeworth, but the thing about rfta is that it goes to great lengths to emphasise the connection between lana and edgeworth as well.
the sl-9 incident showed that lana grows attached to people deeply, hence angel starr's comment on how, when neil marshall died, 'she (lana) felt like her own brother had died.' with edgeworth, i think it was similar but worse. because he's not just a coworker or subordinate who's dear to her. he saved her life. and it cost him his own.
at the beginning of the case, edgeworth says he was mistaken for thinking that lana was always looking out for him post sl-9 (a statement interesting on its own because that's when everyone else says she grew distant), and, later on, he brings ema fingerprinting powder because lana asked him to. then, of course, there's the 'lady luck' comment he makes.
similarly, on lana's side, you obviously have the end of the trial when she says he did well, but there's also that additional moment post-trial where she's the only one to notice — in a group comprising her, ema, phoenix and gumshoe — that he's 'hiding', listening to their conversation. point is, there's enough to suggest that she might have been the nearest thing edgeworth had to a mia; his 'chief prosecutor' to phoenix's plain 'chief'. they're as close as two people can be in a relationship where one of them is constantly lying and the other is von karma's star pupil.
rfta is pretty straightforwardly depicted as the case which solidified edgeworth's resolve to do what he did; i don't think i have to prove that. rumours about him have reached new heights, his car and knife were involved in goodman's murder, he makes an unprecedented mistake in court by failing to connect the evidence room and carpark incidents, thus forcing the chief of police to enter the trial to do so himself, and he's publicly revealed to have relied on falsified evidence to secure a conviction in the sl-9 case, all of which only happened because of lana. jake marshall even claims that from the beginning — that if you trace edgeworth's rumours back to their source, you end up meeting one person: lana skye.
and it gets worse because at the end of rfta, she thinks he's fine!! she literally says, 'i was afraid the pressure would break you, but you rose above it,' and reminds him he's nothing like gant because he's not alone. she leaves the case thinking he will be okay. and then, what, like a week passes, and she finds out that he wasn't, and that he's gone, and it's her fault. even after she was freed from gant's control, even after she had finally stopped lying, she couldn't prevent herself from claiming another life. so much for 'lady luck', i suppose.
and the game reiterates this multiple times. gumshoe states at the start that edgeworth's ties to those higher up in the department have made him the subject of constant rumours, and phoenix says (in front of ema) that he shouldn't be held responsible for the forged evidence because that was all lana's doing, which then leads to edgeworth commenting (again in front of ema) that he feels as though 'something inside him has died.' it all goes back to lana. we can argue and say that it was technically gant's doing that caused all of this, but lana still took actions that led to it. even her complicated friendship with edgeworth isn't spared; it's that closeness between them that exacerbated those rumours. how could she not feel responsible in some way?
and with ema, it's rather obvious, isn't it? if she hadn't gone poking her nose into things, none of this would have happened or come to light. and, of course, she'd never choose anyone over her sister, not for anything in the world — it's simply not a question, but that's the problem, isn't it? it's not a question. it's not some hypothetical moral dilemma. it just is. she may not have killed neil marshall, but she still has one king of prosecutor's blood on her hands. and now she has to live with that. she just. has. to live with it. no matter if he chose otherwise.
moving on from that a little, i think it's actually wild how much of ema's journey to becoming a forensics investigator is paved with bad memories. neil marshall's death and her subsequent inability to testify are what drives her to begin pursuing it, her first proper investigation results in her idol's "death" and when she finally graduates, the person who saved her sister has been disbarred, and she can't even help because she isn't allowed to. all that pain and constant pursuit of her goals, and she's still the same ema skye, still that girl shrouded in darkness, always one step behind the truth, one step a little too late. no wonder she was angry in aa:aj. i would be furious.
#and then like a year later they find out edgeworth's fine and if that happened to me i think i would kill him fr#WKSHDKAHDKS#lana skye#ema skye#miles edgeworth#the skye sisters' relationship with one dramatic depressed prosecutor is something that can be so personal...#ive literally never thought this much about lana or ema ever. they never occupy my thoughts but somehow.#everyone else: man edgeworth's vanishing must have had a real impact on franziska and phoenix. me: what about these 2 side characters who#technically only appeared once in the whole trilogy. in a dlc. what about them.#it's actually so interesting how much lana is set up to be important to edgeworth. phoenix even says she reminds him of mia and when i#first read that i was like ??? bc of the scarf? there's more to mia than a scard phoenix. but then you pay attention to how she interacts#with edgeworth and it's like oh. i see it now. and then she disappears forever.#mind you i dont think she or ema were like. destroyed by the news of edgeworth's supposed passing. not in the way phoenix was anyway.#for better or worse both lana and ema are shown to have a tight hold over themselves emotionally speaking. lana keeps a lid on them for#years and ema is told she might have killed neil by accident and is functional after a brief faint and recess. like those women are strong.#but i do think it would have had a deep impact regardless of how well they were able to cope. like i've said i dont see how it wouldnt.#anyway this concludes my rfta moment. time to go back to being unable to say a thing about susato-san even though she occupies my every#waking moment. if you read all this ily <3#it's also past midnight so if this is all a bit everywhere im sorry
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to anyone not feeling the "christmas spirit" or any kind of cheer in fact, I'm sending you much love. we may be strangers behind screens but in spirit we are holding hands and getting through this together <3
#I normally adore christmas and everything about it (well. not everything. but the nice parts and the so-called spirit)#but I just want it to be over#just wanna get away from here and never come back#and see all my friends and hug them tight#and maybe even kiss the one who stole my heart#(I'm allowed a little indulgent fantasy)#(it's copium OKAY)#I normally would never wish for time to pass quickly and I swear I'm trying to see the positives#but I just want to fall asleep and wake up several weeks in the future#this is probably the most depressing christmas eve I've ever had#and it's a low bar#one day I'll have the perfect christmas though#surrounded by my chosen family and all the people I love#laughing and playing games and chaotically cooking#and all this will seem like a bad dream from another life#we'll hold each other close and fill our ragged cracks with love#and it'll be even better than in the movies#I'm promising it to myself#cosmo rambles
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What if the Pale King locked himself away in the Dream Realm to recreate what he did to the Hollow Knight? After the Vessel leaked and he realized that it most likely had capability enough to suffer, but far far too late to even hope to do anything to fix it. He was beyond the point of no return, there was nothing he could do to undo the Sealing. And even if he could, there were no other options that he could think of of what to do about the Blazing Light.
He had no choice but to keep the Vessel sealed. No choice but to watch his kingdom crumble. There was nothing he could do.
Nothing, but to seal himself away in a self-imposed punishment in the exact same way he imparted onto his only (known) living child.
A weak attempt to impose the same agony onto himself as he forced onto them.
And should the people of his kingdom stop worshiping him and forget he exists, dwindling his power and life to a pathetic end?
Well...
Perhaps that might've been for the best.
#hollow knight#Pale King#Potential Headcanon#Thinkin about this soggy worm again#I don't actually think this is the case I just think it's an interesting concept#Though perhaps not entirely out of the realm of possibility from what we know of PK's character#PK locked his most shameful memory behind the Path of Pain and the Entirety of the Dream White Palace could be an extension of that#in a sort of ''No one's allowed in but also HE'S not allowing himself to leave either'' way#The Sealing was meant to be permanent and eternal so I don't think PK made a 'back door' in case things went wrong either#Back doors are weak points and a potential escape route is something you don't want when dealing with the Radiance#So even if PK WANTED to get Hollow out of there I don't think he was actually ABLE to do so#Presuming he didn't know about the Dream Nail#Which had to of been fucking AGONY for him#''Oh shit my Vessel-child is actually alive and I just put a pissed off god inside of them aND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT FUCK FUCK FUCK'#*chucks depression meds at PK* Boi get off ur ass and at least try to do smth don't just wait around till u die ffs
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Bonus 13: Beware the Grapes of Wrath.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#wen qing#wen ning#WWX's main weapon as the Yiling patriarch is considered to be 'Wen Ning' - which makes sense as far as the whole necromancer thing goes.#However...That *is* Wen Qing's beloved baby brother!#In her perspective WWX skipped town for a few days (or so) and took WN with him#only for them both to show up bloodied and in a state of disarray.#There's no way he told her he was going out to duel Jiang Cheng. For several reasons.#He doesn't want to involve her in his messes anymore than he already has.#It's less that she would try and stop him and more so that he honestly wouldn't even think to say something about it to her.#WQ and him aren't partners in this situation. He actually openly disregards her opinions several times.#Wei Wuxian's emotional distance from everyone around him is a big part of this arc.#Like all good tragedies...his biggest flaw is his hubris. He doesn't *need* anyone when he's so capable on his own.#He doesn't need to ask permission when obviously this is the only way forwards.#He has to do it all on his own! No one else needs to be involved!#And if you've been in the position of realizing you have a problem of toxic self-reliance - you know how harmful this mindset is.#It's why it's so satisfying to see WWX in his 'new' life start to let other's share his burdens.#I will die on the hill of 'love means carrying each other's weight. All a burden means is that I can give you support and you support me.'#YLLZ is less 'competent and sexy' and more 'depressed and can't see it'.#Another lovely nod to the main theme here is how he starts leaning more and more into the rumours about him.#Though we are also still confronted with how these rumours fail to actually live up to reality.#Rumour has it the Yiling Patriarch is undefeatable. What a shame if that rumour turned out to be untrue!
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One day I'll become able to reply to emails promptly instead of waiting until the last possible minute... one day.........
#i used a jokey tone but i get so paralysed and it's debilitating#woooooooo#replied to a thing i needed to though!! giving myself some chocolate as a reward#also worked out 2 days in a row after not doing so for months and months!!!#got a dumbbell set really discounted for black friday so i'm not dealing with only one of my dad's and it's helped get my motivation back#and since my sleep schedule + self motivation for cooking sucks i'm trying out meal replacement shakes (specifically huel)#and keeping the powder and shaker above my desk#and MAN is it useful as hell to be able to have a balanced 'meal' without even going downstairs. executive dysfunction/depression hack ig!!#i don't talk about my issues a lot on here but this stuff's positive so i wanted to share haha. breaking news op is a bit of a loser rn#a loser who's taking baby steps towards being less of one though!!#.txt
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deciding my favorite genre of book is children’s historical fiction… nothing else hits like it sorry… yeah yeah adult historical fiction is fine. not my favorite though…
#i love to read about some grubby little 12 year old finding out about racism or economic inequality or something#ok being an american girl doll child may have affected me long term. yeah that’s the source probably#someday i’ll buy myself that rebecca doll and finally be happy…. rebecca you’ll ALWAYS have fans as long as i’m here….#sorry to julie and ivy. who i do own and love dearly#i just wish i also had rebecca… or molly or kaya…#yeah yeah kit kitteregde. we’ve all seen her. no offense to the queen of the great depression but she’s too popular for me…#that’s also why i’m not a samantha girl. or even felicity. too big. it’s gauche to be a samantha girl….#sorry to all samantha girls. but you knowwww you’re basic get serious here#not saying samantha is bad. i just think the popular ones are too overexposed#and none of them have ivy’s swag anyway#<- girl who’s favorite doll is so niche she’s not even a main doll she’s julie’s bff doll….#i’m a julie girl because i’m first and foremost an ivy girl… they’re a matching set fr#and i still think it’s crazy they never made julie’s blue chinese new year dress. bonkers!#they made ivy’s red one no problem but god forbid my girls match i guess 🙄#yeah yeah i get why they didn’t. still wish they had matching outfits though#anyway. children’s historical fiction. that’s where the heat is!
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Before otasune week ends I just want to take a moment to plug my playlist
#I just remembered it exists#otasune#snotacon#snake x otacon#mgs#metal gear solid#metal gear#solid snake#David#hal emmerich#they’re married but also have never confessed their feelings to each other#people who think that snake would be the one rejecting Otacon is obviously basing it off of their appearances only#like sorry to say but snake has definitely slept with and accepted his feelings for men#and Hal has not#Hal sleeps with women to try and keep his mind off the fact he has a full family with a man who he loves and is going to watch die#I personally hc his dads abuse had a lot of affect on his feeling of inferiority so being gay would be too weak for him#he’s like a ally who is totally cool with other gay people but freaks out when the label is pointed at him#despite literally having a husband#but I think snake knows and accepts it in his own way#never forgiving Hal for the Naomi thing though#snake looked absolutely devestated the entire time but when he rolls over to sleep on the couch when Hal leaves with her and the soft sad#romance music in the back??? crazy#and y’all don’t even want to hear about the depressing queer repression cycle parallel between him and his mom (Strangelove)#I’m so insane about them I need them to just be in their happy family and nothing bad ever happens#Spotify
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i do not like thanksgiving (week)
#1. late november? it’s Dark. all the time. pure darkness#also my dad is neurotic for no reason about the electricity bill despite how much money he spends on random other crap#and he will get really nasty with you if you leave a light on for one nanosecond longer than it needs to be on#so like only if you’re in the room which means the house is dark all the time and you’re expected to just walk around like that#even though having a light on at your destination if you’re moving back and forth helps#like sorry i don’t want to feel depressed and sleepy all the time#2. family over means i have to socialize even though i straight up have nothing to say#i think this one is self explanatory i think we all know the feeling of having to perform around relatives and to be friendly#i really do try my best i’m not like a hardcore introvert i’m just boring and easily bored#if i have nothing to say but i am expected by law to be present at the gathering#i will cope with looking awkward by constantly snacking on whatever food is present#so i just eat like a ton of crackers or whatever over several hours#and i feel like absolute crap#like blehhh wdym peanut m&ms will make your body annoyed at you#3. i can’t cook i’ll be so real so i can’t even feel like i’m being helpful#i would gladly help out i’ll just always need someone to hold my hand and i’ll be in the way#so it’s better for me to stay away#but then it looks like i’m just lazy#or again antisocial#and then that means i gotta do cleanup and dishes#4. going back to the Darkness and sleepiness. all of the above things are bad enough over say christmas#but at least then i can relax bc the semester is over it’s a real break#but thanksgiving? man i am still busy. i have to work from home. i am stressed#my instinct is to hibernate and relax bc of the darkness and holiday vibe#however i’m not allowed to#but it’s hard to be productive#harder still when you have to operate under someone else’s rules#peach rambles
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