#even though my overall perception is not THAT negative

[starships-barships]

Unseen| Chapter One

(Josh x Fem!Reader)

Word Count- 1789

**Warnings-Minors DNI- Alcohol, mentions of insecurities and anxiety, negative self talk, & language

Authors note: I do not know Josh, Jake, Sam, or Danny personally. This is purely a work of fiction. Reader is considered plus size and struggles with her perception of herself, and if that's not your thing..oh well. It's a sloooowww start. This is my first time writing anything other than normal journaling, so bear with me.

Tonight was a night like many others you’ve had. Your two best friends talked you into going out for drinks to wrap up the long week. Work has been kicking your ass lately, and with one of them working with you she knew firsthand how much a night out was needed. You three have been inseparable for the better part of five years, though your relationship to each is a bit different. You had met Michelle in seventh grade. You two sat next to each other on the first day of school and made the choice to continue choosing each other ever since. Kati joined you two a bit later in life. You met her when you took on your current job. You both learned quickly how much you adored one another.

It was only natural that they would meet in between and become the two most important people in your world. That is also how these outings became a normal occurrence. The three of you would decide on a restaurant and drink of choice, have a quick bite to eat and then leave the restaurant half drunk and ready to conquer the world. These nights were your favorite. 

Tonight was different though. You weren’t quite sure why but, you could feel it. You had looming feelings of anxiety as you got ready. The restaurant wasn’t a fancy place, but you took the opportunity to dress up any time you could.  You decided on a simple black lace dress paired with black sandals that had gold embellishments around the ankle. The sleeves were sheer and provided comfort in the warm summer air, but also ensured you wouldn’t be too cold once inside. Your makeup was your usual winged look but with your nerves working their way into your routine you decided to finish the look with a gold liner that met the black in the inner corner of your eye, and a dark matte lipstick that went well with your skin tone. Overall, you felt confident, but there was still something in the air that made you want to retreat to the couch with your dogs and ignore the outside world for the night. Shaking those feelings, you grab your keys and head for the door. You took one last glance in the mirror on your way out and managed to smile at your appearance.

On the way to the restaurant, you turn on your usual playlist. It was a mix that Spotify created for you based on your taste. Over the last few months, it has consisted mostly of Greta Van Fleet. Previously you would casually listen to them when they showed up on random playlists, but after the release of their latest album you made listening to them part of your daily routine, especially on days when your anxiety was getting the best of you. This paired with the newfound popularity they were gaining online meant you were in for a ride. So of course you dragged your best friends down the rabbit hole with you. You three even purchased concert tickets for later this year and the excitement seemed to be the only thing keeping you sane these days. At the last redlight before the restaurant you take a quick video of yourself singing along to “Flower Power” and sent it to the other two you assumed were waiting on you there. You are notoriously late to things.

Walking in you notice it is a bit busier than normal. The line has surpassed the bench seating at the entrance. The anxious feeling returns as you look at your phone and see the reply to your video. Michelle and Kati are still on the way which means it’s up to you to secure a table and wait. You shoot a quick text hoping for an out.

You: Super busy here, any chance y’all want to try somewhere else? 

Kati: It’s Friday, everywhere is busy! And you’re already in line.

You huff and look up just as the line begins to move forward. You make eye contact with the hostess as she smiles in your direction. You’re obligated now it seems. 

You: Ugh, table or booth?

Kati: You never want a booth…?

You: Drinks?

Michelle: Strawberry swirls

You never liked sitting in booths for a multitude of reasons but mainly because you didn’t like feeling trapped. 

Looking back up from your phone you get a glimpse of what’s causing the crowd. Someone or something has attracted a lot of attention at one of the center tables. Just as the hostess asks for your seating preference the sea of people briefly part allowing you to see Josh, Jake, Sam, and Danny sitting at the large table. There it is. The universe did try to tell you to stay home..  

“Ma’am?” The hostess’ voice grounds you. 

“T-ta-Booth..” you stutter out.

 Your eyes never leaving the scene in front of you. You fight the urge to duck down. You’ve had this conversation a million times with yourself and anyone who would listen. If you were to ever see them in public, you would just leave. You did not want to be perceived by any of them. You were terrified of it. So much so that it has become a joke between Michelle and Kati. Both agreeing, however, that they would either not notice them or just play it cool. Being from a small area you had never imagined facing a real chance of this happening, but here you are.

The hostess guides you to a round booth and you quickly take your seat, sliding as far into the booth as possible. You try your hardest to appear small, which is a joke within itself to you. You’ve had your fair share of self-esteem issues. Always feeling as if you were too much, and yet not enough. Your thighs were never right, and your hips have been pointed out one too many times for your liking. You worked very hard over the years to fall in love with yourself and you were proud of how far you’ve come, but as you sit in this booth nearly sweating over the smallest possibility of being seen you are pulled right back to the high school feeling of you. They’re just humans. You tell yourself. Just four men at that. You mentally kick yourself out of your thoughts just as the server walks up. You order three Strawberry Swirl Margaritas and an extra shot of tequila for good measure. You decide you need it. 

As the server leaves you roll your eyes and laugh at yourself internally. This is silly. You return to your thoughts trying to suppress the rapidly growing anxiety. You’ve almost calmed yourself when you notice two familiar faces approaching you. Fuck. 

Michelle and Kati are not unaware of the four men in front of them. As a matter of fact, they are anything but. They are slowly proving their previous statements wrong, and they are definitely not playing it cool. They look at you and then back to the group and back to you again. Their eyes are wide, their smiles even wider. They are all but physically pointing. 

No! God No! Please! You’re making every motion you can think of to tell them to drop it. You’re waving your hand in front of your throat. You’re mouthing “No” as loudly as possible. You look very much terrified, and they are taking far too much joy from it. They are nearly doubled over in a fit of laughter at your display. Through your frenzy of motions, you don’t notice that someone else’s interest has been peaked by your friends. They do, however. Michelle and Kati notice immediately and try to straighten themselves out just as a mess of curls comes into your view. 

There you are, caught like a deer in headlights. Eyes wide and frantic, mouth distorted into a shape somewhere between a smile and a grimace. Your hand is still half motioning in front of you. You are frozen. Of fucking course. 

Josh chuckles at the sight in front of him and looks back to your friends. You take this split second to shoot a death glare at the two traitors you once considered friends, and then fixing it quickly into the best smile you can muster. Josh says something to them that you can’t make out, and they nod while looking excitedly in the direction Josh came from. 

Before you have time to wrap your brain around what’s happening Josh returns with his brothers in tow. They all slide into the booth next to you. Michelle and Kati taking their places as well. You’re right in the center, Josh is to your right, then Michelle with Jake on the end. On your left is Kati, then Sam, and taking the other end seat is Danny. Your head is spinning and you’re silently hoping your matte foundation is enough to stop the sweat that is surely dying to find its way to your forehead and above your lip. 

The server arrives just as Danny settles into his seat. She places the margaritas down and you reach out, maybe too readily, for the tequila shot. You down it quickly, ignoring the salt and lime completely. Josh giggles to himself at the sight of you. Shaking his head, looking down at his lap then bringing his eyes back to you. You smile at him shyly, wiping your mouth with your fingertips gently to not ruin your lipstick. The rose color on your cheeks is surely hard to miss. He goes to say something, but you’re both cut short when someone steps in front of the table grabbing everyone’s attention. 

To your surprise, again, the new person at the table has shown up with a camera in hand. Great. You all glance towards one another and everyone but you seem to nod in agreement. The first picture goes by fine. Everyone is smiling and leaning slightly into each other. You all look like you have known each other for a lifetime. Just a group of friends out for drinks. You, however, are doing your best to not look anxious or scared. Your hands remain in your lap under the table, pulling at the lace resting just above your knee, unsure what to do with them. Right as the photographer readies themselves to take the next photo you feel something soft on your cheek. Josh has straightened himself and positioned his face against yours, leaning completely into you with the biggest smile. His soft curls pressed between you. Before you have time to react the flash on the camera goes off just as someone’s hand brushes against yours. 

You wake up. 

chapter two ->

[wndbrn]

* deep dive character sheet .

NAME: takumi .

BODY

height: 165.1 cm / 5'5 ( a short king 💅🏻 )

strength ★★★☆☆ ( he's a stronk boy )

dexterity ★★★★☆ ( in canon of course his dexterity is relatively high - granted fates doesn't have this as a stat i believe ! he was a sniper, however here and back then there still could be room for improvement . )

health ★★★☆☆ ( takumi's physical health is decent, his mental however is still not. it's a work in progress ! )

energy ★★★☆☆ ( truly depends. he has enough energy for practice and battle even with the lack of sleep he gets due to his nightmares. )

beauty ★★★★☆ ( he's your local pretty boy takumi of course )

style ★★★★☆ ( with oboro's assistance with, he's always stylish. well at least in hoshido. )

hygiene ★★★★☆ ( he's very hygienic and takes great care of his hair ! though it can be somewhat lacking due to battles ; he always bathes after practicing/waking up . )

SKILLS

perception ★★★★☆ ( i would say takumi is hypervigilant regardless of situation. though his perception of situations or others can be off from time to time. )

communication ★★☆☆☆ ( this is literally one of the few things he actually lacks in . he even critiques himself on his lack of communication skills in the dlc lol )

persuasion ★★☆☆☆ ( it's not his strong suit lol )

mediation ★☆☆☆☆ ( do not and i mean do not get him to mediate any situation. he might be able to mediate some like a tiny dispute between hinata and oboro. )

literacy ★★★★★ ( boy reads all the damn time; his reading literacy is great. )

creativity ★☆☆☆☆ ( creativity regarding the arts is practically nonexistent, however he can be creative when playing shogi. )

cooking ★★★☆☆ ( he's an okay cook, i think one of the few dishes he's pretty good at is miso soup - his favorite food. )

tech savvy ★★☆☆☆ ( i say he's rather quick to learn whatever is given to him. )

combat ★★★★★ ( he is able to fujin yumi, one of the few divine weapons and incredibly skilled in the bow. )

survival ★★★☆☆ ( if he gets smacked once or even twice in close combat he's screwed. he's fairly good at keeping a distance, so he can survive the current battle but still land a good hit on the enemy. )

stealth ★★★★☆ ( he's quick and efficient, stealthy too when the occasion calls for it. )

street smarts ★★★☆☆ ( takumi isn't dumb by any means, but i do think he lacks in this department. )

seduction ★☆☆☆☆ ( he can't seduce for SHIT, besides that he's never really even attempted to. during the war and before he had no interest. though this can change ! )

luck ★★★★☆ ( i'd say his luck is decent, most battles tend to go his way. )

handling animals ★★★★☆ ( takumi's great with animals ! i'd say he almost prefers them over people at times. )

pacifying children ★★★☆☆ ( i don't think he's great or bad, he's just average when it comes to consoling any child. including his own, kiragi. )

MIND

intelligence ★★★★☆ ( my boy is incredibly intelligent, others have also praised him for his smarts. )

happiness ★★☆☆☆ ( takumi isn't a happy person overall; iago in the fanbook has made a comment on his rather large amount of negative emotions he holds. )

spirituality ★★★☆☆ ( like most people in hoshido, he believes in the dawn dragon. )

confidence ★☆☆☆☆ ( what confidence ? it is something he's working on so it could be higher later on. )

humor ★★★☆☆ ( his humor is kind of dry if i'm going to be honest. he's a kind of serious guy, but can joke around / poke fun from time to time. )

anxiety ★★★★★ ( oh my god his anxiety is so incredibly bad. )

patience ★★☆☆☆ ( it really depends on the situation at hand ? when it comes to dealing with people it can be low, especially with those he doesn't trust. )

passion ★★★★☆ ( he sure is passionate about about proving himself useful lol but outside of that there are other things he's passionate about like archery. )

nice         ☆☆★☆☆ mean ( it's kind of a mixed bag; he nice to friends and family but not so much to nohrians / people who he doesn't deem as trustworthy. he is working on that and definitely gotten way better ! )

brave       ☆★☆☆☆ cowardly ( i'd never call him cowardly, though he himself might. )

pacifist   ☆☆☆★☆ violent ( this boy is willing to fight in a war if need be, and kill most foe's if it secures victory. takumi is not much of a pacifist. )

thoughtful ☆★☆☆☆ impulsive ( azura in his fanbook does say he's pretty considerate lol . i think he's thoughtful to those he cares deeply about. not much of an impulsive person, until it comes his his words. he can be impulsive when he's upset. )

agreeable ☆☆★☆☆ contrary ( it all depends given the circumstance. )

idealistic   ☆☆☆★☆ pragmatic ( he wishes he could be idealistic )

frugal        ☆☆★☆☆ big spender ( honestmeme ... i don't think he really cares about the price of things. )

extrovert   ☆☆☆☆★ introvert ( nintendo literally called him sensitive and shy 😭 not even that during his and sakura's support he makes it clear he HATES big social gatherings. boy is very introverted. )

collected   ☆☆☆★☆ wild ( it's a mix ! takumi can be cool and collected, but his emotions tend to swing rather frequently. he can be explosive. )

ambitious / possessive / stubborn / jealous / decisive / perfectionist

SOCIAL

charisma ★★☆☆☆ ( takumi's somewhat charismatic in the way. he got mikoto to suggest to corrin to sit on the throne lol. )

empathy ★★★☆☆ ( he does have empathy for others, i swear. )

generosity ★★★☆☆ ( generous to the right people ! )

wealth ★★★★☆ ( he is a prince of hoshido after all. )

honest  ☆★☆☆☆ deceptive ( i'd like to think he's honest and rather straightforward. )

leader   ☆☆☆★☆ follower ( takumi can lead his own troop as proved in conquest, but will follow corrin in both birthright and revelation ! )

polite    ☆☆☆★☆  rude ( rude to most strangers and nohrians that he doesn't trust. again though he's gotten so much better. he can be nice i promise ! )

political ☆★☆☆☆ indifferent ( you could say he's political ? he is reading up government to aid hoshido while assisting here. )

BELIEFS

higher power ★★★☆☆ ( he does believe in a higher power - the dawn dragon ! he does have some of their blood. )

fate/destiny ★★★★☆ ( corrin and mikoto has proven to him that fate and destiny truly exists. )

magic ★★★★★ ( takumi knows magic exists but he's so bad at it oh my god. )

soulmates ★★★★☆ ( kind of. i think he'd believe more in soulmates if he were to find his own. )

good and evil ★★★★☆ ( i'd say he does believe in good and evil. he makes it pretty clear throughout the game. )

luck ★★★★☆ ( he believes in luck, but he doesn't tend to think luck is the sole reason why he wins, ect. )

PRIORITIES

family ★★★★★ ( one of the most important things to him. )

friends ★★★★★ ( well he definitely values the friends that he has . though they may be his retainers , he considers hinata and oboro his friends/family. )

love ★★★☆☆ ( it's not a priority for him. there are other things more important. though he won't be opposed to finding love now that the war is over. )

home ★★★★☆ ( home means everything to him like family and friends. )

health ★★★☆☆ ( ehh, takumi does care about his health but not so much while in battle. unless of course he's severely injured. )

praise ★★★☆☆ ( though he may not admit to it, he does like the praise he gets. even if he may find it sometimes embarrassing and hard to believe. )

justice ★★★★★ ( justice is a big driving force for takumi, and he cares deeply for it. )

truth ★★★★☆ ( the truth is something takumi values highly. though sometimes he shy's away from it when it comes to himself. )

power ★★★★☆ ( he's big stronk, but outside of physical strength he does really value this as well. he desperately wants to be strong for ryoma and hoshido. )

fame ★★☆☆☆ ( fame isn't something he cares all that much about, but he does want recognition for his efforts and accomplishments. )

wealth ★★☆☆☆ ( like stated before he's a prince of hoshido, he's never really worried too much about it. )

others' opinions ★★★★☆ ( takumi has admitted he cares about how others view him, and you can certainly see it throughout the entirety of the game. )

[ofdetonation]

I think a lot of people perceive the Bakugou family dynamic as unhealthy, and some people have even claimed abuse (on the scale of Endeavor, which, umm, where did that come from?). My overall perception is this: they are two new parents trying to raise a single child together with no context on parenting. On top of that, Katsuki developed a powerful Quirk in a society where powerful Quirks are praised, and there is an environmental influence of which can easily be overlooked in favour of analysing the household influence.

Thus, I think it's important to look at every aspect of childhood development to determine the impact of multiple things.

A lot of this has to deal with nature vs. nurture: whether it is the parents' fault or the environment's. Often there is a sort of fault from both, but in these cases, there will always be a stronger fault on one side or the other. So, in the case of Katsuki, which one was more at fault?

THE NURTURE VIEW.

From what we've seen, Mitsuki is much like her son - brash, unyielding, and very firm in herself, willing to fight for what she believes in. In contrast, Masaru is more on the sensitive side, tends to shy away from conflict (or avoids them altogether), and is a lot more passive than his wife and son combined. Mitsuki leads the household, based on this distinction, and her parenting style reflects her personality. That is pretty much the same for Masaru.

From what I've been able to discern, Mitsuki relies on both authoritative and authoritarian parenting - in contrast, in my point of view, Masaru is a strong mix of permissive and authoritative parenting.

Now what in the fuck do they mean, you might ask? No stress! I have answers in the form of what I could understand from my educational psychology classes. I also definitely recommend researching them further yourself!

An authoritative parenting style is a happy medium that parents generally aim for. It's relatively open communication with their child, taking in their opinions, and giving them an understanding of action and consequence. There are high expectations for their child, but they are aware that their child is... Well, human. In terms of responsiveness and demand, they have a balance of both.

It's practically impossible to stay authoritative though, and there sure as hell ain't a book on parenting that tells you how. So yeah, I reckon Mitsuki and Masaru have the authoritative approach, but they do have their own approaches too:

An authoritarian approach is something pretty commonly seen in Asian culture and customs, and its meaning varies based on Western vs. Eastern standards. The main idea is that this parenting style is very parent-driven. There's a strong level of strictness, they rely on discipline, and generally speaking, they have more demand and less responsiveness - meaning that the child should listen because the parent knows better, or "because I said so". In Western views, this is generally disregarding of the child, almost "helicopter parent"-like, and are even considered nasty or mean.

Asian customs are less likely to view this so negatively. It is generally associated with a trust that the parent is doing this out of a place of concern and/or love; and, with some studies, an authoritarian approach with Asian-ethnic children has proved to carry positive effects similarly to authoritative parenting. (This wouldn't necessarily apply if Katsuki was born and raised outside of Japan - say, in Europe or the Americas.)

Meanwhile, permissive parenting is low demand, high response. These kinds of parents struggle to enforce rules and regulations, but are more emotionally in-tune with their children. They also tend to find ways to avoid conflict.

Sound familiar?

On top of an understanding of defined parenting styles, the Bakugou household is pretty stereotypical of an Asian household - heard of a tiger parent? It's a term to explain an extremely strict parenting style that seeks to create a high-achieving child, and it has a basis in Asian culture and custom. It can be one parent or both, and its origin is from an Asian-American professor with Chinese heritage, Amy Chua. (The phrase actually derives from her book, "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother"; it's definitely... Something. There's a reason it was both positively and [very negatively] received when initially published in America.)

Understanding the commonality of the overall household dynamic is one thing. Furthermore, understanding that Horikoshi likely played on the concept and made it more extravagant in the name of humour is another.

The more unconventional part of their dynamic is Mitsuki and Masaru's overall perception of Katsuki's emotional needs - the authoritative (or in Masaru's case, the permissive) approach. Katsuki needed a sense of accomplishment, safety, and community; some people would probably consider sending Katsuki to live on the dorms after his kidnapping reckless or inconsiderate, considering that the school failed to keep Katsuki safe, but I believe they were thinking of meeting Katsuki's emotional needs. I mean, how else to tick off all three boxes?

The U.A. dorms provided a room of his own - a safety bubble. It meant that he could get a taste of living away from home - a sense of accomplishment - and being around his class more often would give him a greater sense of community, something he wouldn't have achieved otherwise. It's pretty likely he tried to isolate himself out of school, so this was kind of like... An encouragement.

We don't have nearly as much context of Katsuki's home life as we do for Shouto, for example, but I am inclined to believe that Mitsuki and Masaru were able to work as a team to provide for Katsuki the best they could. The reason I think both took on the ideal authoritative approach is because Mitsuki would have the discipline while Masaru would have the emotional understanding - with the two on opposing sides of the coin, they ultimately were able to strike a balance by working together. If either were absent, it's likely that Katsuki would've been much worse than he was. And it should be expected that they weren't perfect; Katsuki is an only child, after all.

While keeping the parenting styles in mind, we move on to...

THE NATURE VIEW.

Our context of Katsuki's interaction with his environment is much higher than our context of the Bakugou family dynamic. We see him interacting with his environment a lot more than his parents; on top of this, we also have a lot more contextual clues on what Katsuki's environment was, which helps determine its influence on Katsuki as a whole.

There are four environments that factor into a child's development: the physical, social, emotional, and economic environments. The presence - or lack thereof - these environments can determine how a child reacts further in life.

A physical environment is where they grew up in and their neighbourhood. We know that Katsuki is lucky to have grown up in a spacious house, thanks to Mitsuki being a successful model and Masaru being a successful fashion designer - not only that, but Katsuki frequently had access to trails and other nature-based areas, limiting the exposure to pollution in more densely populated areas. The neighbourhood that he grew up in, however... That would be of more debate.

Katsuki's neighbourhood influence bleeds into his social environment, which is the social circles he's been exposed to and how they ultimately influence his relationships. Having both parents there helped, of course, but Katsuki's exposure to some of the other boys in the neighbourhood and his growing popularity during preschool / primary school / middle school meant that Katsuki developed an understanding based on his peers.

This bit is crucial to remember; Katsuki had teachers and other children both praise him for a powerful, hero-like Quirk. Top that with the fact that Quirks are present in 80% of society for his generation, alongside people saying how powerful and amazing he'd be, and it's no surprise that Katsuki developed a strong sense of superiority among others. We have no indication that his parents treated him in the same way - if anything, the context suggests they were fighting against this - but we have some contextual support to indicate that everyone else put Katsuki on a pedestal.

It's likely this heavy appraisal of Quirks, and specifically his, that helped spur Katsuki into bullying Izuku for his Quirklessness. We know that wasn't his only reason; it's just not a stretch to assume that the social environmental influence meant that it would become something easy to target.

The emotional environment is very reliant on whether emotional needs are being met at home or not. As discussed in the nurture point of view, Mitsuki and Masaru were not perfect parents and did not always fulfil Katsuki's emotional needs at first, but it's safe to assume that they did their best as first-time parents - having Mitsuki and Masaru as oppositional in terms of disciplinary vs. emotionally in-tune would likely contribute to their ability to accommodate to Katsuki's needs.

Finally, the economic environment is the financial situation they've been raised in. We know that Katsuki comes from a fairly wealthy background - not only did he grow up in a two-story house in JAPAN, but he was able to give Kirishima a massive sum of money to repay him for the night vision goggles. It's obvious that his economic environment isn't a problem.

NATURE VS. NURTURE.

So it boils down to this: which impacted Katsuki more?

It's safe for us to determine that it's a clash of his parents' parenting style vs. his physical and social environment. It would ultimately be a deliberation between Mitsuki's authoritarian and Masaru's conflicting permissive approaches (alongside their combined authoritative approach), vs. the neighbourhood Katsuki was exposed to and the social circles that he grew up with. It's not to say that one didn't impact Katsuki at all; there was definitely some impact there on both sides, but if I had to choose...

The environmental influence wins all the way.

We have no contextual clues on Katsuki's upbringing, so we have to make assumptions based on the evidence we have - from what we know, Katsuki had a lot of freedom growing up. He would be allowed to go out for extended periods of time without his parents, whether it be to go into town or to visit forested areas (for bug catching, which we've seen a glimpse of, or the log incident). It would be safe to assume that 1) Mitsuki and Masaru knew that Katsuki would be capable of protecting himself when he developed his Quirk, and 2) there were likely rules set in place with reasonable consequence if Katsuki didn't listen. It's why I lean towards his parents being authoritative when they work together. Katsuki has been fortunate in the fact that his parents trust him with having freedom.

What we know of the neighbourhood and social environment is not nearly as ideal. Remember: Izuku was exposed to the same environment, seeing as they shared the same neighbourhood, and his context plays a vital aspect of understanding just how the environment influenced Katsuki as a whole.

Katsuki was never so bad before his Quirk. He teased, he was a bit nasty, but he was never malicious and treated Izuku as someone who would inevitably develop a Quirk like the rest of his generation. Furthermore, he was an extremely confident child. The problems arose the moment he developed his Explosion Quirk; developing his Quirk in school with others to witness it has been the most unfortunate part of his upbringing. As I've mentioned before, in the BNHA universe, Quirks are upheld as something that is now part of the norm. On top of that, powerful Quirks are appraised as hero-like - which, in Katsuki's context where he's always wanted to be a hero like All Might, only reaffirmed his stance and fed into his confidence. The confidence turned to egoism, and then into superiority. Contrast that with what we know about views of Quirklessness in that same generation...

Mitsuki mentions, during the home visits (in dub), that people were fawning over Katsuki for his Quirk and it didn't help anything - especially because he was already good at what he puts his mind to. In the sub, Mitsuki even mentions he "kept getting praised for shallow stuff". This is pretty telling that the environment and the people surrounding Katsuki played a heavy hand into how he turned out as a teenager; and, in going to U.A., Katsuki wasn't so exposed to these kinds of people, and the teachers actually understood Katsuki better than what most people do.

Of course it's important to address Mitsuki's approach to handling Katsuki, but bear in mind that Katsuki was not an easy child to handle with an environment that was actively working against his parents. They aren't the kind to ignore that he had an amazing Quirk, but they assumingly knew Katsuki's confidence would soar the moment his Explosion became a focal point.

Ignoring that the home visit scene was likely played for humour directed at a Japanese audience, Mitsuki only enacted firm discipline when Katsuki acted out of line. Think about it. She thwacked him upside the head, and then firmly disciplined him when he showed no manners towards his teachers and herself, not to mention she had a go at Katsuki for getting snappy with Masaru - even though she did the same thing. Otherwise, she showed a deep care for her son, an awareness of how he developed, an understanding of how the teachers viewed him (especially Aizawa), and the benefits of sending him into the dorm system.

Another bit of context is the importance of manners and courtesy in Japan. It's real easy to step out of line in Japan, and thus upholding certain mannerisms is vital to be viewed properly by others. Katsuki has never really cared, hence why he's such a delinquent when you first know him... But it's not a stretch to determine that Mitsuki and Masaru want to abide by manners and courtesy. Imagine trying to rein in your unruly child in front of very important figures which culturally expect good manners. (In contrast, to try and give a bit of insight for Western vs. Eastern culture, Aussies... Don't stake a huge importance on this. I've had casual conversations with mentors before, and generally, we'll take more offence to being called buddy or champ before a swear word.)

Of course, everyone interprets Katsuki's influences differently. Some people may determine that the parents were at a stronger fault for Katsuki's upbringing, others may say it was a balance of both. I think that in a general context, however, the social environment that Katsuki was exposed to growing up shaped him into who he is, but with no way for his parents to sufficiently fight this, they were kind of... Doomed from the start.

[forestlingincorporated]

I wanna talk about Janet Drake

I’m not against exaggeratedly evil versions of Tim’s parents, tbh. It’s fanfiction, if we can depict an Exaggeratedly Good version of Bruce (which we can, and I do, and I love) then we can depict the Drakes as Exaggeratedly Bad. As someone who personally identifies with Tim, and his brand of complicated parental abuse in particular, I find it cathartic to uncomplicate that abuse and rescue him from the Obviously Evil Bad People. 

That said, since much of comics lore is passed down word of mouth, the oral tradition surrounding Tim has developed this idea of Janet as The Worse Parent between her and Jack that was never really present in the comics. We see much LESS of Janet, and we have 20 years worth of comics depicting Jack as a neglectful hotheaded idiot who ultimate does love his son. More importantly, Jack isn’t very much LIKE Tim, so there is a habit to attribute Tim’s traits to his mother... and, as someone who really really identifies with Tim, Tim has... some negative traits. Tim can be a bitch sometimes. He’s fiercely intelligent and sweet and kind, with a strong sense of justice, but he can be cold and judgmental and unthinking - he fights those traits, but he does have them. 

And it is perfectly fine to depict Janet that way. I’ve enjoyed depictions of Cold Calculating Janet Drake, but it’s not the ONLY option, and I want to challenge fans to consider different avenues. Tim could pick up these traits from anywhere: a nanny, Mrs. Mc Ilvaine (”Mrs. Mac”), a teacher, tv, Sherlock Holmes novels, Bruce Wayne himself. Tim is capable of not being like EITHER parent. 

So, what do we KNOW about Janet? (I’ll also touch on Jack, but only in scenes he appears with Janet.) 

When Janet was first introduced she was depicted as a gentle but “modern” woman. This was written in 1989, told by a 13 year old Tim, so this theoretically was meant to take place in 1979. I’m not here to give a lecture on the history of sex discrimination in the united states, but much of the legislation protecting women in the workforce or surrounding women’s bodily autonomy would have been very very new in this initial depiction. 

Here, Janet is shown to be encouraging, emotional, maternal, and projects her own feelings onto Tim. Jack is shown to be slightly sexist, possibly discouraging, but not overbearing. And the artist is shown not to know how to draw children. 

To insert some speculation, I think it’s important to note all the Drakes witnessed a terrible murder/accident that day. I point this out, because this is the last time Jack and Janet are depicted this way. It’s possible they changed as a result of this event specifically. 

However, this is also a story being told by Tim. It’s also possible these events aren’t really “real” at all, and Tim is misremembering what his parents were like as a three-year-old, possibly projecting a more palatable version of his parents into the narrative. This is entirely up to personal interpretation. 

In fact, the Drakes are shown in Legend of the Dark Knight attending Haly’s Circus, and the artist knows what a toddler looks like and they’re depicted as already having a slightly strained relationship. Jack is clearly on the defensive, and Janet seems to be passive-aggressive, though she could just be attempting to explain the situation to her toddler honestly. The intended tone isn’t especially clear. 

I do want to point out, in this depiction, Tim isn’t being carried like he was in the previous one. He’s walking ahead of his parents, which isn’t a terrible horrible crime, but could be dangerous in a crowded place like the circus. Might be a subtle hint to his parents overall neglect. 

Back to A Lonely Place of Dying, in Tim’s memories of the night he discovered Robin and Dick Grayson were the same person at nine-years-old, his parents are home, and watching TV together while Tim played... trucks, idk, in the living room with them. (This is semi-interesting, because you could say “oh, Tim liked vehicle toys as a kid” or you could extrapolate that this is another subtle indication of Jack’s sexism, providing Tim with appropriately “boy toys.” Either interpretation is valid. If Tim was assigned female at birth, would they have been given “girl toys,” or allowed to play with whatever they wanted?) 

This is, to my knowledge, the only panel of the Drakes when Tim is between ages 3 and 13. They’re all together, which might indicate that the Drakes were home more often when Tim was 9, only later going on business trips when Tim was “old enough” but... 

This is Tim’s boarding school when he’s 13. While most boarding schools in the US are for grades 9-12, Tim is clearly not a freshman at age 13; look how much younger the other kids in this panel are. In the US, the youngest you can attend most boarding schools is 7. 

That means Tim could have begun going to boarding school anytime between 7 and 13. He most likely spent all of middle school in boarding school, at least. There are an almost infinite number of possible ways the Drakes handled having a business that required lots of international travel, an archeology hobby, AND a very young child. Janet staying home until Tim was 7, 11, 13, is equally possible as the Drakes having a nanny until 7, 11, 13. Tim just doesn’t talk about that period of his life very much.

(”What about Mrs. Mac?” - it is unclear when Mrs. Mac begins working for the Drakes. We only see her when Jack comes out of his coma. She could either be a long standing staff member, or a recent hire.) 

Note: I’ve seen it said that it’s canon that “According to Tim, when his parents were home, they made a point to try and include him in their activities, bringing him along to events that were normally adults only.” I have never seen this panel, or I don’t remember it, so I cannot confirm, but I also cannot debunk this because... comics. 

By the time Tim is 13, Jack and Janet are away on business trips a lot, with limited communication, and no firm return date. If I’m feeling generous, I’d say it was harder to communicate internationally in 1990 than it is today. If I’m not feeling generous, I’d say the Drakes are extremely wealthy, and international communication was easier than ever before in the 80s and 90s. They’re not even going home to see Tim in a week or two, they’re going home and calling Tim at boarding school in a week or two. 

Even Bruce thinks its weird, though he doesn’t say so to Tim’s face. It’s written almost as if Tim’s parents’ neglect was meant to be a plot point that just got forgotten about. 

Tim’s parents are fighting at this point (their poor assistant), but Janet still goes with Jack on these business trips. And she’s clearly involved in the business, somehow, but the comics never SAY what Janet’s JOB is. We’re told Jack is the exec, but Janet is ONLY ever referred to as Jack’s wife, though they’re later described as the “heads” of the company, plural. 

Just to be clear, this is Jack’s business. There’s a perception that Jack is a bad business man because he and Janet fight over company decisions, and Jack looses the business after Janet dies, but Jack looses the company YEARS after Janet dies, and maintains it for about a year after No Man’s Land at that. We’re not told how Jack looses the business, but he’s got to be doing something right. Janet isn’t necessarily the “real brains” of Drake Industries. 

And I’m not... gonna... touch the... exploitation and racism because... I’m not qualified to do that. But, here’s the panel. The Drakes sure seem exploitative and racist in their business decisions. Someone else can... analyze that with more nuance. 

Regardless how how long they’ve been fighting, when their lives are in danger, the Drakes fall back into a loving husband and wife. Their marriage may be falling apart, but they do care about each other. 

I want to show these panels because it shows that Tim and Jack do have things in common. They’re both level headed in a crisis and can be somewhat cold in their practicality. Janet meanwhile and silent. Jack is later willing rant and rave at their captors, but Janet remains silent. 

That is, until they’re alone, and she finally lets herself fall apart. 

God, Jack can be obnoxious. Janet just looks miserable and resigned. I actually think Tim takes after his parents in this respect in equal measure. Tim can have a temper, but he can also be fairly melancholy and defeatist. 

Jack keeps reminding Janet to be strong and in control, which could be period typical sexism? But Jack seems so practiced and ready with the words of encouragement, and with Tim’s history with depression, I wonder if Janet has an inclination towards it as well. 

As the end approaches, when Jack brings up Tim, Janet seems to have a lot of regret. She talks about “wasting” the good things, and I don’t think it’s too big of a stretch to assume she’s talking about time spent with her only child. 

From this point on, Janet is at times spoken of, but not seen. Like here, when Jack says Janet wouldn’t approve of him and Tim being so “far apart.” He says this after he tells him he takes back his threat to send him back to boarding school, which might imply Janet was against the idea of boarding school? Though she obviously lost that argument when she was alive. 

Jack will of course renege on this later, but that’s Jack Drake for you. 

Or here in Tim’s illness induced dream, where he gets everything he wants. Though, since this is a fantasy of Tim’s, where his father and girlfriend are both more accepting and understanding than they are in real life, I would take this depiction of Janet with a grain of salt. 

After loosing Drake Industries, Jack thinks about Janet (though, they call her Catherine/Cathy for some fucking reason) during his depressive episode. And... uh... 

Hallucinates a Valkyrie???? Is this symbolic of suicidal thoughts, or is she... real? Or is he seriously hallucinating? 

Anyway, we’re not here to discuss Jack’s mental state, the fact that he forgot Tim’s birthday, or that concerning “I was going to knock some sense into you but you’re still bigger than me” statement from Tim, we’re here to talk about Janet. And even though this entire arc is about Jack mourning his first wife, they don’t SAY anything about Janet herself at all. I mean, they don’t even get her name right, so I guess what was I expecting. 

Then there’s Origins and Omens, which also doesn’t say anything about Janet, except that Tim’s memory of her is faulty - Janet was poisoned, her assistant Jeremy’s throat was slit on television, but Tim seems to have conflated the death he did see with the death he didn’t. 

The only piece of canon to suggest that Janet might be cold, is Tim compares her to Thalia. And even then, he’s really just saying Janet was protective of him. It’s kind of a scary look to make at your kid, but Bruce does the same thing, so. 

I do want to say... it’s not 100% clear if Tim is even talking about Janet. He could be talking about Dana. Dana was observably protective of Tim, though I don’t think he’s ever called her mom. He PROBABLY means Janet. 

And finally we have Tim visiting his mother’s grave (in a duel Christian/Jewish cemetery, make of that what you will), where Tim says she was “a little religious.”

And that’s it! That is all we know about Janet Drake in New Earth. Hardly the Mom From Hell, but she isn’t perfect. I’d be interested in seeing some alternate depictions of her within the fandom. 

I’m still gonna eat up Terrible Parents From Hell like a starving puppy dog, though. Just some food for creative thought. 

[prince-tulip]

I need to stop trying to be everything for everyone.

I cant let go of people, i have a severe abandonment issue that has gone too far. My reality became so blurry, with so many people wanting things from me..cognitive distortions and people pleasing stemming from overwhelming guilt and shame and fear..living off defense mechanisms first..

Its like if ive done wrong to you, i feel I have to be punished and be exactly whoever to whomever person im involved with. Which that plays into daily life, i feel I always have to be how they want me to be, im HEAVILY influenced by the world and often times in bad ways, its a big reason i dont just live my life.. Not to say either that i dont have genuine emotions and love for literally anyone ive loved or even if they hurt me and are toxic, i won't leave. When something i cant handle happens, i look for an escape route maybe? But i know i don't actually want to leave or cut someone off..My feelings become caught in a bundle of wires, words become misdirected, impulsive and if i have a trauma bond with you, subconscious feelings and past events come screaming at my face, confusing my reality more, saying and doing things i shouldn't. All things ive tried so hard to heal from..i have so much love to give and I think overall just genuine connection is what im looking for..even if thats just as friends with whoever my sentiment gets the best of me too, i feel as if everything must mean something but thats just not true and its going to keep killing me if i think like that...that's the big question..

What does connection mean to me? What form do i want it in and how can i better understand how to communicate with my loved ones or future companions? Growing up it was always soulmate, marriage, kids, happy life but i dont think(as of right now, i do hope one day) that the typical life isn't for me..societys need to be perfect, to be perceived as happy and successful, forcing a life out of want oppose to need..i dont understand..

Maybe though..just maybe nothing can grow if you dont allow it to and thats a fault on me.."here comes the contradiction" lmao...*insert*

Could i just be honest and communicate how i properly feel? Yes..but with how my mental illness is, i dont know how i feel. Every thought, perspective, moral is just contradictory. Every second. Its a constant battle of not self destructing, hurting people, picking fights, loss of interest, feeling numb, thinking every is meant for a reason when its not that fucking serious. Its not just negative moods either. Happiness comes in big waves that feel uncomfortable, pleasure feels wrong, like i dont deserve it, in any form.

Im riddled with guilt and regrets..

I feel torn through out time, belonging to people from different points in my life, struggling to feel whole and until i do, especially when it comes to love, romance and building together.

I cant have those, it burns me out. I focus too much on them, then burn out which causes problems and personal anger, sadness, resentment in everyone involved..

I never understood i had a need for validation but oh god, how i understand now..I never understood cognitive distortion but oh god, how i understand now..i never understood how to truly express myself and my desires..but how i understand now..too late... Ironically.

My honest intentions questioned due to my lack of mental understanding, a lack of time perception, a lack of being able to sift through my emotions of how i truly feel, a lack of being able to realize i dont need to people please, a lack of realizing i dont have boundaries for myself or others, a lack of not being able to not self destruct, if i hurt or disappointed someone i feel i need to fix things and be someone that i actually dont really wanna be but i end up filling that role because i need to fix something or i just have a personality switch and im saying and doing things i really don't mean, its so polarizing and its no ones fault, its so much my fault....

I now realize i do not need to feel like i need to be punished..or that i dont deserve good things...The lack of not letting things be natural, not letting things just happen, always fear driven and being controlled by my defense mechanisms. This overwhelming guilt, shame and disgust i harbor in my heart of all the wrongs ive ever made, it all haunts me and im so familiar with it, its almost if thats all i will feel my life, as if thats what i subconsciously wanted...not needed..i didn't need this..but here i am..

[zuko-always-lies]

ATLA AU Idea which is Basically “Azula Raises Katara for Several Years”

I’ve had this idea kicking around my head for months, and, since I have no intention of writing it, I figure I might as well post it. To be clear, the premise of this fanfic is “Azula, Katara, and Sokka get traumatized in ways they weren’t in canon, but the events that traumatize them potentially help lead to a better outcome in the long-term,” so be prepared for rough sailing.

This idea is very much inspired by all the “Katara gets kidnapped young and raised within the Fire Nation royal family” fanfics, which I think can be excellent if done with care. However, in a situation where Katara and Azula develop a relationship when they are young, the natural tendency is to make Katara the “motherly” or parental one, and I wanted to turn that on its head. I also wanted to explore some of the possible implications of Azula taking on adult sized responsibilities as a child and of the perverse ways that power differentials can influence things. I also wanted to explore some of the ways that Azula’s commitment to duty and responsibility can be a positive thing. Another ~2000 or so words under the cut.

The premise is that, shortly after Zuko gets banished, Katara gets captured by the Southern Raiders as the last Southern Water Tribe waterbender and brought back to Caldera and presented as a trophy to Ozai. Ozai’s first reaction is to have her executed, but fortunately Azula is also present in the throne room. For reasons which Azula doesn’t entirely understand herself but which definitely have something to do with her guilt over what happened to Zuko, Azula decides to intervene, despite the risks involved. However, not being Zuko, she manages to do this without provoking Ozai, through convincing him that Katara is more valuable alive as a trophy, a symbol, and a plaything than she is dead. Ozai doesn’t really care that much, so he pawns Katara off to Azula and basically forgets about her, accidentally using language that implies to Azula that Katara and taking care of Katara is now Azula’s responsibility. Azula is at an age where she’s started to take her responsibilities and duties with deadly seriousness.

Katara doesn’t know what to make of this all.  She’s been severely traumatized by being kidnapped and torn from her family and culture and by having her life threatened by Ozai. She’s aware that Azula saved her life, but the language Azula used to in order to do so sounds warped and screwed up to Katara, who is unaware that Azula had to say what she said in order to manipulate Ozai.  Katara noticed that Azula seemed a little nervous when she talked to Ozai, but Katara doesn’t initially know how risky and dangerous what Azula did was.

Again, Azula takes her responsibilities with deadly seriousness. So, when it becomes her responsibility to take care of Katara, Azula is determined to do the best possible job, even though she’s 11 and Katara is also 11. If there were any responsible adults present, they would intervene and talk to Azula about how awful an idea this is, but there aren’t any left.  In any case, Katara’s waterbending abilities make it so she has to be kept under some kind of supervision, Azula is perceptive enough to worry that Katara might be mistreated if she got fostered out, and in any case Azula is convinced she can do a better job than any foster family.

Azula is a badly abused 11 year old who grew up indoctrinated in an absolutely toxic ideology. She’s never really seen good parenting in her life. The idea of her trying to parent should be terrifying. Yet she’s aware that Ursa didn’t do the best job with her, and since Katara isn’t a “monster” Azula sees no reason to replicate Ursa’s behavior. Azula believes the way that Ozai treats her is absolutely justified, even though she has some knowledge of its negative effects on her, but since Katara isn’t a princess who has immense duties to her nation and family, Azula sees no reason to treat her that way. In fact, Azula is aware of ignorance about parenting, and tries to read as much about parenting as she can. She also reads as much about the water tribes as she can in order to try to understand Katara better.

In terms of being a “parent,” Azula is overall a little standoffish, absent, and demanding.  She doesn’t need to directly look after Katara’s physical care(she has servants for that), but she has to look after Katara’s emotional needs, her education, and her overall care. As a temporary measure, she arranges that Katara sleep on a cot in Azula’s room because she’s not sure where to put her, and this arrangement becomes permanent. This means Azula and Katara usually eat together, since Azula has taken most of her meals in her room, but Azula is very busy with her duties, training, and education, so they don’t spend much time together in a typical day. Azula has Katara officially declared a servant(but one who only reports to Azula) in order to regularize her status and allow Katara to draw a salary(most of which Azula holds in escrow for when Katara comes of age), but Azula only rarely asks Katara to do work; Katara had far more chores back in the Southern Water Tribe. On the other hand, Azula demands that Katara work hard in her education and on practicing her waterbending. Katara is too old to be sent to the Royal Fire Academy for Girls, but Azula obtains tutors for her, in addition to getting her whatever waterbending scrolls she can and trying to obtain the best possible bending coaches for Katara’s waterbending, sometimes even stepping in herself to try to coach Katara.

Azula is aware that Katara wants to return home, but she doesn’t think that Ozai would ever allow that, and, in any case, Azula is an imperialist who thinks Katara is better off being “civilized” in the Fire Nation than she would be back in her ignorant and “savage” home.  A large portion of Katara’s education is intended to “civilize” her. Azula doesn’t have firm ideas of where adult Katara will fit into Fire Nation society but plays with the idea of marrying her into the nobility or of making her governor of the conquered Water Tribes. So overall, Azula does a shockingly good job as “parent” given she’s an abused 11 year child acting within the toxic norms of the Fire Nation, but that still means she does a bad job, and her relationship with Katara remains pretty toxic.

Ozai and the rest of the court have some awareness of what’s going on, but they honestly don’t care as long Azula continues to be an exemplary princess, fulfills her duties, and continues to exceed expectations. Some members of the court even find Azula’s personal commitment to “civilizing” a savage to be inspiring. However, the burden of taking care of Katara means that Azula is under even more pressure than she is in canon, with the good news being that Azula has something more of a support network than in canon. Katara provides some measure of support, and in this AU Azula never has the energy to really push Ukano’s political career forward, and so Mai never has to leave, so Ty Lee also stays put.

Katara, again, is severely traumatized by her experiences, and to a degree feels helpless. She knows that she can’t escape and go back home. She’s resentful of Azula and particularly of the efforts to cut Katara off from her culture, but at the same time Katara ends internalizing some Fire Nation culture. Yet after a while Katara gets a sense of how toxic the environment is at the Royal Court, and she soon(after overhearing a conversation between Mai and Ty Lee which was supposed to be confidential) learns what happened to Zuko and realizes how much Azula risked in order to protect Katara, and Katara can’t help but feel intense gratitude to Azula for it. Azula also gradually becomes more and more respectful of Water Tribe culture, and Katara deeply appreciates the emphasis Azula places on Katara mastering waterbending.  Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee are also the only people in the Fire Nation who are ever consistently kind to Katara, and Katara ends up deeply bonding with each one of them, although the resulting relationships are not the healthiest. Katara eventually starts to develop a sense of how each one of them has been deeply victimized by Fire Nation culture. Azula goes to great lengths to hide her own struggles and pain from Katara, but Katara spends a lot of time with her and sometimes notices. Several years in, Katara notices some positive changes in Azula and begins to play with the idea that she can positively influence Azula so that Azula will be become a kinder and anti-imperialist Firelord.

Azula thinks Katara’s waterbending is the coolest thing ever(well, aside from firebending at least), a sentiment shared to a lesser degree by Mai and Ty Lee. Azula also thinks that learning to fight is vital, so she brings Katara along for her spars with Mai and Ty Lee. Katara makes rapid progress, particularly due to her access to many waterbending scrolls. As a result of this, and of Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee not separating, all four girls end up being significantly better combatants than they were in canon.

Mai and Ty Lee have complex reactions to Katara, but they eventually come to like and even love her. There is an element of resentment present because Katara takes up so much of the ever busy Azula’s time, but Azula forces her friends to spend time with Katara, and they end up bonding with her.  Katara’s empathy and compassion works in her favor here, especially since she rapidly develops into one of the few people who sees and appreciates them for who they are. Mai and Ty Lee also find Katara’s waterbending to be an interesting and intriguing method of combat, soon come to respect Katara’s budding combat skills, and, as people deeply unhappy with their own places in society, they find Katara’s stories of life at the south pole to be interesting. Mai has issues with Katara being a little too “motherly,” but on the other hand appreciates that Katara pays attention to Mai’s actual desires and needs.  Ty Lee sometimes finds Katara to be a little too similar to her for comfort, but also at the same time appreciates Katara’s caring side and the way she’s not reluctant to give her positive attention. Frequently Azula is too busy to join her friends, so Katara, Ty Lee, and Mai end up hanging out together. Freaks and outsiders stick together.

Azula, through her research into the Water Tribes, personal experience with Katara, and interest in Katara’s waterbending, begins to subtly yet strongly move in anti-imperialist directions and doubt Fire Nation ideology, but her transformation has scarcely begun by the time Book 1 begins. She does benefit from better relationships with her friends, though, and Katara gives her some emotional support. Meanwhile, to a lesser degree Mai and Ty Lee have had their own doubts develop about imperial ideology.

Azula tends to see her relationship with Katara mainly in terms of responsibility and duty, but she ultimately comes to fiercely love Katara.

Zuko and Iroh do their things, just like in canon.  They receive vague reports about Katara’s presence in court, but they don’t understand the significance of them.

Sokka gets badly traumatized by losing his sister and believes her to be killed by the Fire Nation. Hakoda, Bato, and the water tribe warriors also still leave to fight the Fire Nation. Sokka is absolutely dedicated to seeking vengeance on the Fire Nation, and when he accidently defrosts Aang, he sees an opportunity.

Book 1 largely plays out the same, with minor changes. I think an interesting one is that Suki ends up joining a badly understrength Team Avatar and temporally leaving her warriors behind in order to aid Avatar Kyoshi’s reincarnation with the fulfillment of his destiny.

Book 2 opens with Azula being sent to capture Zuko and Iroh. Mai and Ty Lee tag along, in part with the hope of making sure Zuko is captured without being harmed, and Azula decides to bring Katara too rather than leave her alone in Caldera.  However, the operation goes south, and Azula, Mai, Ty Lee, and Katara soon find themselves hunting the Avatar. Katara’s loyalties are about to be tested like never before…Meanwhile, Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee all have seeds of anti-imperialism growing within them, but what will it take for these seeds to blossom and give fruit? Meanwhile, Azula grapples with not only her canon trauma but also the trauma she experienced through her parentification.

[mrsbsmooth]

BRO life has been so damn (aggravating) crazy this past month, anyway tell me your thoughts about 'ex in the villa' before i update the app and go play it 🥺🥺❤🙏

Hi beautiful! It's not a full season like S1/2/3 were. It's a mini-season which gives us a different scenario to play. If you play it with this in mind... it's actually not bad, so far at least.

Side Characters:

💎Alfie's a sweetheart, and I think it's actually nice that he's a little unsure. @amalasofmonterisso did a great post about this, but the more 'unsure' he is, the more I like him. It makes him seem like a real person, with real doubts about his feelings. I'm looking forward to seeing where things go with him.

💎Kat is a walking tantrum, and I love her for it. She's got some of the best one-liners, and is quite upfront about what she wants, so I'm interested to see if they boot her early or not.

💎Dana is a LI, and is pretty clearly on MC's side early on, and I like how she seems like she's a little more chill. I hope they give her a bit more depth though, especially if you're not on her route. I don't want her to fade in to the background like Najuma if you're not romancing her. She's also quite honest and seems like she'll be a good friend if you're not pursuing her. Angie vibes.

💎Suresh is.... eh. I'm not vibing with his writing yet, mostly because he doesn't seem to be very good at arguing for someone who's supposedly a corporate lawyer. Although, I'm not a lawyer, and that could just be my perception of him haha. I'll be going into this a bit more if/when I write a fic for him. However, I love his story arc and I'm looking forward to it.

💩Eddie is... also present? Even in the spoilers up to Episode 13, I haven't seen much in way of a personality for him yet. We'll see.

MC Design:

💎The outfits are cute compared to the ones we got at the start of S4, especially the sleepwear.

💎There are a lot more character design options, including more hairstyles and a bigger body type.

💩This might just be me, but I cannot for the life of me make my MC look the way I want her to. I miss the characters from S2/S3, where it was almost impossible for her to not look cute as fuuuuuck.

💩There are a distinct lack of features for non-white players. I've heard a lot of concerns about the eyes, noses, and hair, and I hope they rectify them. Hopefully we get more customisation options in future updates.

💩 We have almost zero choice over our backstory. We don't even get to decide our own secret! We don't get to decide our own ex, either, so WLW players... yeah, no.

Gameplay:

💎Drama central. I'm currently icing Suresh out - playing it cool and turning him down at every opportunity, but there are options for both a 'fuck you' playthrough and a ' please fuck me' playthrough, which will be cool.

💎With all the characters, they started off very sunshiney and shallow, and then started showing negative traits. I love this. I love my characters to have a little complexity. I hope they continue this and make the characters really deep!

💩It's really hard to earn gems.

💩There's a long, interactive ad after every episode and it's really annoying.

💩They recently moved from three episodes each week to having mostly two

💩 They're ending episodes MID-CONVERSATION to simulate drama. Which I hate.

Overall

As a standalone game? 5/10? 6/10 if I'm being really generous?

Compared to earlier seasons? I don't know... a 3/10? It's really not the same game.

If it wasn't for the fandom/community, I would've given up already. I'm personally not that engaged by any of the LI's so far, but I'm sure that will change. God, look what happened to me when they introduced Bruno omg.

But I love the community and I'm looking forward to reading the fics that come out about the season. So I'd encourage you to play it anyway, even if it's just so you can do fix-its with us :)

Thank you for the ask!

[cinnamonest]

Xingqiu - Yandere Profile

I actually just got my sweet bookworm boi to his next to last ascension, my hydro baby, my angel, I love him even if bc of him I have to marathon fight the oceanid

I’ve had a lot of reqs for him & Chongyun dating back to January again lol but it only felt right to wait until I finished both so I could release them at the same time, so, Chongyun’s will be up immediately after this!

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TWs: fem reader, yandere, confinement, manipulative behaviors, mentions of homicide, gaslighting, Xingqiu being a spoiled arrogant brat

TWs (below cut): noncon/dubcon, manipulating and guilting reader into sex, overstimulation, fluids/cumplay, humiliation 

Since there's no canonical age but he has a bit of the rounded young face I'm tagging with the sh*ta tw as well!

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Severity Scale

Intelligence/Perceptiveness: 7 Brutality: 3 Physical capability: 4 Mental/emotional instability: 6 Restrictiveness: 7 Sexual sadism: 5 Stubbornness: 8

What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?

Tries to buy his way to you, initially. He's grown up seeing the power that money holds over people, and, well, his father can always just wave a bit around and get whatever he wants from most people, so why should you be any different? He goes for stereotypical "girl" things like flowers and jewelry at first, unless you have some prominent and well-known interest, in which case he'll invest in something related to that.

Honestly, for all his chivalry and all that, his maturity is something of a faux one, a sort of projected self-image of the gentlemanly figure he strives to be... but when he lets that slip, he can be something of a childish spoiled brat. The thing is... he's completely unaware and refuses to acknowledge that he can be so immature. He likes getting what he wants, when he wants it, exactly how he wants it, and being denied the things he wants isn't particularly common in his life. So rejection comes not so much as a disappointment so much as a shock. No matter, you're just... a brat, yourself. You think you're too good for everyone, he reasons, so you play hard to get.

Really, after recovering from the initial shock, he realizes he likes things this way. He likes challenges. It would be no fun if you came to him easily. You may be a brat, but in the end, the one thing he refuses to ever do is lose. Chivalrous gentlemen are fine with having to earn their things, so really, he's thankful that you reminded him of his morals, of his desire to truly earn the things he wants. It will make it that much more meaningful.

So he goes heavy on the idea of "courting", following whatever old and prudish traditions may exist in Liyue. If you're from somewhere else, he figures, that could be why -- clearly he hasn't followed through on whatever is normal for your culture. Silly him. He makes an effort to research whatever those traditions may be, and goes to the absolute maximum on performing them. Lavishes you in gifts of all kinds, constantly giving you compliments. He even goes to the effort of, if all else fails, reading romance novels targeted at women to get a better grasp of what exactly you're supposed to like, and emulates those behaviors.

Overall, though, in later stages Xingqiu slightly more mild for a yan, allowing you to have interactions with others (even if he’s irritated), such as his family, family servants, and his friends, and will even take you outside now and then. However, he will cut off your ties to those friends you had before that weren't mutual friends. He's also one of the least likely yanderes to ever kill someone, and will avoid hurting people if possible -- if anything, he prefers more discreet methods like ruining their life socially or financially.

He's also a lot more moody behind closed doors than he is to most people. His attempts to be oh-so-mature eventually kinda crumble, and the more comfortable he becomes around you, the more he lets his immaturity show.

He could assign family servants to looking for you, but really, he prefers to do it himself, this is about love after all, he doesn't want to assign them to a task they would never perform as diligently as he could. But rather than stalking, he chooses to just kind of... stay with you. He's somehow always where you are, "coincidentally" running into you everywhere and then somehow nothing having anything to do, because he clings to you for hours until you finally have to go home, and even then, he'll just follow you to continue the visit there if he can. No point in watching from a distance when he can be right there with you. And again, he's actually surprisingly unaware that his clinginess is so obvious, he's oblivious to how obvious his infatuation is. Which is a bit odd, considering that he's usually fairly perceptive, but he's so confident in the fact that he is normally perceptive that he allows himself to slip into abnormal behaviors without really realizing it, because he's not constantly on guard in the way some less socially adept yanderes are.

On a genuinely sweet level, there's one little thing he keeps hidden from you. He's actually written a lot of love poetry for you, verses about you and all of the things he loves about you so much... Despite usually being fairly confident in his work, he can't bring himself to show it to you. He's too flustered. And considering your negative reactions to his affection (read: not wanting to be kept like a captive animal), he is actually a bit sensitive to that perceived rejection, which further discourages him. He keeps them all stashed away, stuffed into some fairly hidden drawer. Should you ever come across them and bring them up, it's one of a very few things that will genuinely make him super embarrassed, and he'll just insist they weren't about you, even though the details make it obvious they were, and storm off, never bringing it up again.

How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?

It's not kidnapping. It's... relocating. He's far too chivalrous to resort to something so brutish as kidnapping! He'll make sure you want to come with him. He can easily arrange for there to be rumors and reports of... occurrences near your home. Criminal activity, maybe false rumors of mysterious disappearances. Hell, he'll get Chongyun to testify that your house has demonic spirits in it. Something to make you want to move out. Maybe some things start happening to you -- you get the feeling you're being watched, you get threatening messages mailed to your home, you have strangers (read: randos who will do anything for some mora he gives them) telling you you're not welcome in the area and to get out. It's all incredibly confusing and scary and you have no idea what brought it all on!

Luckily for you, you have a rich, generous friend who makes it more than clear you're welcome to come stay with him for a while at any time. Eventually, no matter what it takes, he can push you to a point where you'll take him up on that offer. Something feels... oddly ominous about the way the gates to his family estate close behind you once you walk in. Like they're sealing your fate.

And once step one is done, step two of his plan goes into place - make sure you never want to leave. He can make that happen, there's plenty of space here for you to roam, plenty for you to do, and even when he's not there to entertain you, there's plenty of servants to keep an eye on you and make sure that whenever you try to leave, they'll smile and tell you you can't go just yet miss, there's this or that going on tonight! The young master said he had something important for you when he gets back later! You can't go out now, there was just an attack by some deranged person in the town still on the loose! Just... go back inside for now.

Of course, it's wishful thinking, but he likes to maintain the delusion that he can just keep this going indefinitely, that you won't finally one day put your foot down and tell him you've been stuck here nearly a month and you're ready to at least go visit home. He might even entertain it a bit - sure, you can go visit your old house with him and collect some of your old things to bring back with you, but he makes sure to make it look at though whatever problem he made up is still occurring. Nonetheless, if you're insistent, or at whatever point you finally crack and catch on, demand to know what's going on - well, it's not pretty. He gets into something of a tantrum if you don't comply, but ultimately, in his own little huffy, ticked off way, says you can't leave, and that's that, no more questions allowed, and no more of this ridiculous demand to leave. Of course, darling is taken aback at first, even thinking he's joking, but it soon becomes very clear he's completely serious, and intends to enforce that command.

How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape? 

When he's with you, he's tends to be pretty clingy, both physically and in conversation, never ceasing talking about this or that, and he's actually a sleep-clinger as well, keeping an iron grip around your waist when you sleep. So, whenever he's at his home, he insists on you being in his presence, usually physically touching, so you won't really get an opportunity while he's just in another room or something because you can't get any privacy to begin with. When you're in public, he's incredibly watchful over your every move and incredibly clingy then as well, so don't expect such a chance to arrive either.

Thus, your best bet is to try when you're under the watch of guards, whenever he's gone for whatever reason. They've been instructed to watch you from a distance, you see, he doesn't want them interacting with you directly, so you'll have a few chances here or there where they get distracted or their backs are turned. There will likely eventually also be a time where there's a scheduling error, you end up unsupervised! However, physically getting out of the estate is still difficult. There's still posted guards everywhere. So all in all, it's fairly difficult, especially in broad daylight, the only time he's not with you.

When you're inevitably dragged back kicking and screaming by some poor guards that aren't getting paid enough to deal with this, after getting back and hearing the report he deals with it in that unnerving saccharine way of feigning ignorance to try and get a reaction. Now, he knows you weren't trying to get out... right? Surely you got distracted by a bird or something, right? That's the only reason why you'd ever try to leave, right? It's obvious he knows better, and is just fucking with your head, but it's best not to lie. What he wants is an admittance of guilt and an apology, preferably down on the floor begging for forgiveness.

How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?

Moderate, leaning towards difficult. He's perceptive, and intelligent, but that intelligence is largely a sort of book-smarts type of intelligence. He's generally crafty and a prankster himself, so pulling things over on him is difficult because he's familiar with the mindset and methods of doing so, but he can be tricked if you put on a believable enough act. Basically, a darling who is a good actor stands a much better chance.

However, he's ultimately a learner. You can get away with some tricks or plots once, but he won't fall for the same thing twice. Any sort of escape or deceit you've tried once, he'll make active efforts to guard against and prevent in the future.

Manipulation, though, you can forget it. He's way too proud and stubborn to be emotionally manipulated, in the end getting his way and what he wants takes priority over making you happy, so don't expect to be able to manipulate him based on the notion of something making you happier.

How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

Fairly lenient, actually. You get a lot of access so long as your behavior is good, so really it's wise to be on your best behavior in the long term of things. He can get you anything you want, especially reading material. And you actually get to go outside, yay! He's like my earlier Childe profile on that -- he likes to go on dates, and he's actually really enthusiastic about it! He's big on date planning, wanting to see everything there is to see and do everything there is to do together. The rules are that you just need to be physically attached to him in some way -- you can hold his hand, grab at his sleeves, or he can do so to you (although he'd prefer you cling to him. He likes the image it projects to people around you). He actually gets really hyped about said dates whenever you plan them, he'll talk to you for hours plotting out all the things to do on this particular outing. At one point, his smile drops and his voice goes low and he tells you that, just a reminder, you know the rules for dates, right? ...Good.

Similarly, if you ask, he'll let you accompany him on more trivial outings as well, say if you'd like to go grocery shopping, and he certainly won't turn down a trip to the bookstore. The same rules apply, although he's a bit less excited for something so mundane.

One thing he won't do, surprisingly, is let you have anything to do with Guhua arts or skills. He won't teach you anything he knows nor let you learn, and if you were a follower of it before, he'll cut off your access to any material. His reasoning is that he just doesn't really think anything to do with combat suits you. You're better off learning more passive skills and hobbies.

In reality? He can't stand the thought of you ever being able to present a challenge to him in that sense. It would kill his ego if you ever managed to do something related to the Guhua arts better than he can, or even half as good as he can.

What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?

Well, to occupy your time, he has things that need cleaning you know... Honestly, he's messy, and he's already used to having maids, so he kinda treats you like one to some degree. Of course, he's active in his little heroism adventures, but when it comes to his own living spaces and such things he can be a bit lazy. So, he'll give you tasks to do sometimes, he likes the power rush too that he gets from ordering you around a bit. It soothes the ego.

Outside of your strolls together, you can't be going outside (and you don't get to choose when you do go on your little walks and dates, he does, although he may grant you the wishes of your begging). Also, don't actually try to talk to the guards. They're there to watch you, nothing more, so pay them no mind, and by no means should you ever have a reason to make conversation with them. If there's an emergency or something you need, you may inform them and get help, nothing more. And really, they're more afraid of this rule than you are -- you'll have difficulty finding one even willing to talk to you, they all take the warnings they've been given very seriously.

He eventually gets nitpicky and makes all sorts of little behavioral rules, it's incredibly obnoxious. But honestly, suffering his bratty tantrums is enough of a punishment, even if he didn't usually follow it up with actual punishment, which, for him, tends to be something perverted in some way.

How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?

He actually gets jealous rather easily, often over people who are no real threat. You can never be too nice to anyone -- even after he introduces you to his father and older brother, he expects you to be happy to meet them... but not that much. If you show too much excitement or happiness over any other being, he gets pouty, especially other men, but also your friends, male or female, family, even animals. His first reaction isn't to kill, rather, just an increase in isolation. Drag you back home and make sure you get a lot of time to yourselves, seeks reassurance that you really love him. If it's his own family, he might get grouchy towards them, snap at them a bit, bitterly drag you back off to your own room, where he'll then proceed to get equally grouchy towards you until you have given him enough reassurance he deems sufficient. In his own time, when you're not around, he makes sure to make it perfectly clear to those around him that they aren't to get in between you two.

He's one of the better yans to have in this regard, though, because he's unlikely to resort to killing anyone. He's got too much of his self-image invested in the idea of morals and justice to be able to do so, he can't delude himself into believing it's right or acceptable. It's not impossible to push him to that point, but it wouldn't just be someone you show any positive reception towards -- if Xingqiu did end up killing a rival, it would have to be one for whom you have very blatantly made clear you have actual romantic and sexual affection, someone who poses a genuine, real threat.

Xingqiu is a sort of open book when it comes to jealousy -- it's obvious to everyone around you that he's mad at someone else for even looking at you, and he doesn't try to hide it. It makes him that much angrier if someone doesn't obey his silent demand to stop interacting with you, doesn't seem fazed by his glares and coldness. He'll meet with them privately and make things clear verbally, since he tells himself maybe they're just dense and too stupid to understand. But they only get one more chance. Cross him twice, and they'll likely find themselves in financial ruin after pulling some strings through the connections of his father and brother.

What would make him significantly more likely to kill someone is someone who poses a legal threat, someone who catches on to what's going on and threatens to get him in serious trouble for it. Even if he tried bribing them, well, they'd likely just pretend to accept, and someone so bold likely wouldn't bow to threats.

This is where he can slip into the mindset of a delusional yandere. He once again projects the image in his head, that knight he wants to be for you, and hey, sometimes to save the princess, the heroes in his martial arts epics have to get their hands dirty, have to unfortunately get blood on their hands for the sake of the greater good. And hey, then it's usually called character development. Most of his fictional heroes tend to have killed at least one person in a sort of epic battle to defend something precious to them. This is no different. Of course, ambushing an unarmed person and running them through hardly counts as an epic battle, but he doesn't really take that part into account.

How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?

Again, a bit of a spoiled brat at times. He's pouty, gives you the cold shoulder, yet dramatically inserts himself in front of you and whatever you're occupied with so you can't do anything. Basically he's forcing you to acknowledge his pouting and ask him what's wrong so that he can pull the "oh, nothing" until you ask again, and maybe he'll eventually bitterly, passive-aggressively make it clear what you did wrong. The bright side is he's easily soothed - an apology and some groveling will fix his attitude pretty quickly, although he'll have an infuriating air of superiority about it all, telling you he's glad you were able to understand what you did and have, hopefully, learned to correct the behavior in the future.

Worse offenses, things that make him genuinely and truly infuriated, are significantly worse, but rather uncharacteristically for him, he's quiet. And that's what's do frightening about it - for once you almost wish he would blabber or complain or whine like you're so used to, but his fury is dead silent. He moves without speaking, harsh motions that will either shove or tug you to wherever he's trying to maneuver you, and he shows how he feels through actions rather than words - he slams doors and objects, stomps, everything about his body language is frightening enough to make you stiffen and jolt.

Thankfully, Xingqiu is a milder yandere when it comes to severity of things he'll do to you in moments of anger -- he's one that can control himself well enough not to severely hurt you, break bones or anything like that. When it comes to his flashes of anger, at worst he might slap you in his tantrums, but he has at least enough self-control and empathy for you to manage better than a lot of yanderes.

So they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?

Below. It's mostly that he thinks rather highly of himself - he's an important person you know. He saves people, he goes around doing his little vigilante thing, and he's not afraid to flaunt sometimes.

If you happen to also be from a rich family, you can earn a little bit more respect from him, you're cultured and sophisticated. If you're intelligent, you can get some validity in his mind as well. He'll still consider himself more intelligent and higher status, something you'd be mindful to remember, but he'll begrudgingly acknowledge it.

A commoner darling, though? God forbid an airheaded one? Forget about getting any respect - you're more like... A cute little puppy to him. Dumb and loud and clumsy, but nonetheless very cute and loveable. You were just... Made to be something of an accessory to him. And he loves and values you, you mean the world to him really, but that's all the more reason why you should accept your place as such.

How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?

It drives him up the wall. You know, his father could arrange his marriage to a ton of young rich daughters in Liyue who would be more than happy about it, but he can't get the attention of ONE girl he likes? It's infuriating. And it makes him all the more insistent to have specifically you.

For Xingqiu, it's a mix of both desperation and a pride thing as well. One one hand he desperately does truly want his feelings to be returned, he wants you to love him, he wants the fantasy he has in his head of you two having a long, happy future together. On the other hand, rejection is also a mark on his pride, and that irritates him beyond comprehension.

So don't expect him to ever give up, really. Unlike a lot of loving yans though, he doesn't blame himself, he directs the rejection hurt outward - maybe you're just so spoiled yourself that nothing is good enough for you. Maybe you're just playing hard to get. Maybe you just think constantly turning him down is funny, it's amusing to you, and, well, he doesn't take lightly to you trying to play games with him. So while he'll continue to try and earn your love, don't be surprised if it results in an irritated mood swing every now and then.

Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?

A lack of desire/hesitancy to resort to violence or more morally wayward methods. He stakes a lot of his pride and self-image on being a chivalrous, upright, just person, someone who should exemplify right and punish wrong, and unfortunately for him he's not a delusional and can't convince himself that he's doing the right thing. He wants to be a gentleman, your knight in shining armor, the storybook hero he projects in his head that always comes to save his princess, who in turn is receptive and showers him in praise and affection and gratitude. You're the problem, you see, you're not following through on your role in all this.

As such, he really, really hates having to dirty his hands in any way, or do anything that he knows is wrong and will consequently drag him into guilt. Not that he can't be driven to it, because he certainly can, but if it reaches that point, that means you didn't cooperate with him to begin with, which would have made things so much easier, so he'll definitely rid himself of that guilt by redirecting the blame to you, or deluding himself into some bizarre justification.

Another thing... his family's compliance. Honestly? His dad is far too busy and far too done with Xingqiu's shit to expect any help from him. His son tends to be picky, whiny, and demanding -- now that you're here, he's finally satiated, finally actually paying attention to the important matters his father wants him to be involved with, finally not causing nearly as much trouble now that you're around. You can bet he's more than happy to put in some extra funds and personnel to restrain some random commoner, so long as his son is satisfied. His brother doesn't really agree with it all, but his brother wants this and his father is supporting it, so... his hands are tied. He turns a blind eye. And the staff, the servants? They're getting paid far too much to care, and besides, the family is incredibly influential -- should they get fired, it could smear their reputation. It’s kinda really discouraging, being surrounded by so many people, but none of them willing to help you.

General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?

Bounces back and forth. On one hand, he wants to maintain, again, a gentlemanly and sophisticated image, and in his mind, such people don't normally think about such things, don't behave in lewd or degenerate ways. On the other hand, he's a nasty little perv that secretly sinks to the absolute depths of depravity. There's not much he can't get off to. If his poor brother hadn't been so busy being concerned about the martial arts books under his bed, and had dug further, he would have found that those books are actually just a cover-up for a different set of nasty, gross materials he's spent years accumulating -- some of the most vulgar smut you've ever seen, stuff you question how he ever even got ahold of. Surely the book house wouldn't sell this kind of material... it's honestly a mystery how he manages to get so much.

With his first few interactions, he tends to display the former image, but the more time he spends with anyone, the more that inner little pervert side tends to come out. He's definitely one to get touchy, his light grazing little touches become firmer and more daring, his hands always rest just at a point that's right on the boundary of being inappropriate. Sometimes he'll straight-up grope you and pass it off as teasing. He's also like Kaeya in that he intentionally tries to embarrass you by making your mind go to lewd places, making obvious innuendos and euphemisms, then pretending like he doesn't know why you're looking at him like that... oh, is that what you thought he meant? Wow, you must have such a dirty mind, you little pervert.

How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?

Something like rape is barbaric! Of course he would never, eeeeever do something so awful, so unbecoming of someone like him. And he really never will. He's another yan that will simply... Secure your consent by whatever means necessary.

In the end he'll most likely guilt trip and gaslight his way into it. I mean, you're staying with him for free, he took you in, he feeds you and clothes you and you can't show one little bit of gratitude? He treats you like a wife and you can't fulfil your end of that role? Don't be selfish. He loves you so much... He'd do anything for you... don't you want him to be happy too?

He'll try different approaches. If seduction doesn't work off the bat, he'll try gaslighting, if that doesn't work, he'll try guilt tripping, if that doesn't work, he'll make up a bizarre lie - he has to have sex or he'll die, somehow! You get the idea. If you really, really, really push it, he may just resort to a vague threat of sorts - nothing too bad or deadly, but hey, it would sure be a shame if this recent market crash affected your family financially... Not that he knows anyone who has power over the local commerce or anything.

With a more timid, soft darling, you're likely to end up essentially... Dubcon'ed. Half-noncon'ed. He just kinda... Slowly goes for it, and at your protests insists no, it's ok, you'll feel good... And a timid darling too afraid to stop him doesn't exactly fight back or resist, so hey, silence is a green light.

What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?

Experimentation

As I've said, he's a nasty little perv deep down, and he can get off to, well, a LOT of things. And he loves to try new things out, no matter how weird it may be. He's one you can get into a lot of things involving toys and objects, or physical forms of things applied to the body (think temperature play, hot wax, nipple clamps -- anything that has to do with objects being used on you). Part of the fun of it all is having something new that he's never tried before! Even if it turns out to not be his favorite thing, he'll still enjoy the trying it out, and those things he DOES find himself liking, well, he'll just have to add them to the little mental list of favorites.

And he, honestly, enjoys the little reactions you often have to the notions of this or that -- the shock and sudden fear on your face when he tells you today you'll do this or that, and how you shake your cute little head so rapidly. It's not that bad, he promises, and he's done a lot of research and reading to be sure he does things correctly, so no worries!

Body writing

It's kinda comical because you can't make out a word. With his canonically horrendous handwriting, but fondness for the act of writing, it makes for what essentially looks to you like abstract art on your body -- but just know it's the lewdest, most degrading shit you can think of that he'll get all over your thighs and stomach, marking you as his. If nothing else, he gets off to it, and based on the little things he whispers in your ear, you know it's the same sort of humiliating things. If he takes his time, he can write better, but he gets caught up in the heat of the moment.

Lingerie

He's a fan of lacey, frilly things. And he will definitely invest in as many as he can buy, ornate and intricate things, stockings for your legs that have pretty lace patterns at the top of the thigh, bras and panties that are somehow both lacey and perfectly see-through. He's also a big fan of things that have holes in them for easy access, so you can wear it the whole time. And, if he's feeling meaner, he'll definitely have you walk around in just that for a while -- not out where anyone else in the estate could see you, of course, but in his room with him.

Master/slave

He's not a sadist per se, and doesn't really put you in pain, but he loves your submission. And no better way to exemplify submission than with service. The little bastard already makes you act like a maid outside of bed, but now he likes it even more -- there's a certain rush of power to laying out a command and seeing you follow it. Not to mention the cute look on your warm face as you follow though with the degrading shit. Oh, and you'd better believe he gets humiliating. It's not necessarily degrading in the sense that he says or makes you say bad things about yourself, but rather, just the commands themselves, getting on your hands and knees and crawling over to him, and demanding you slowly strip down. Make it cute, give him a show, you know? He won't be cruel in the things he says about you, yet your pride is still wrecked by the end of it all.

Voyeurism/masturbation instruction

He loves to watch you get off, honestly. It ties into the slave thing to a degree, making you follow every little command, telling you exactly how to touch yourself and move your hands. He'll sigh and tell you no, you're going to fast, you can't do it that fast yet... and if you get too overexcited, he'll just have to make you stop, since you can't seem to listen, and maybe not get to cum until tomorrow, so you can learn to behave better about it next time.

Fluids/Cumplay

He has something of a fixation with all kinds. He loves seeing the trail of saliva from your mouth when you pull off his dick, the way cum drips out of you and runs down your thighs. He also likes seeing it splattered across your face, your chest, in your hair, something about the sight of it nearly has him hard immediately after and ready to go. But he also likes how it will gross you out, leaving you tied up so that you can't wipe it off, are forced to just stay there with it dripping out of your holes and down your skin in a way that makes you shiver. And, really, he loves your fluids too, sweet salty slick that's just so mesmerizing to watch coat his fingers and face. But his favorite thing, probably has to be running his fingers through your own juices and slick, collecting it on his fingers, holding it up to your mouth and telling you to suck them clean. Somehow, it's even hotter when you're licking your own fluids off of his fingers, although you doing so with his is certainly nice too.

How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?

He’d like an heir one day. He's one to want a kid, maybe two, but not a whole lot. Just enough to have a proper family structure, much like the family he was raised in. It's the proper thing to do, he thinks, a natural part of the social order and continuation of a legacy. As a natural extension of his spoiled brat tendencies, he often doesn't think very responsibly in regards to preventing children, so, lucky for him, that ideal will likely come to fruition eventually, if physically possible.

What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?

Absolutely uses overstimulation. Whatever sorts of toys exist in Teyvat, he's rich enough that he can easily obtain them - little things he can attach to you and leave buzzing, or thick plugs and internal toys to stuff you full and leave you there to suffer in stimulation and stretching for hours on end. And he doesn't leave you alone, no, he stays close by, leaving you tied up and blindfolded, the occasionally lazy checkup of "oh, how are you holding up over there? I almost totally forgot you were there!" in a mocking tone while he goes about reading his books or practicing or jerking off to the sight.

Also ruined orgasms. Ugh, he's the worst. Gets you right to your peak, likely also after hours of edging, and then just... stops. Right as you reach the high, stops all motion, leaves you whimpering and sobbing, it's literally painful to actually reach it, and then still have that orgasm taken from you. And he'll be sure to remind you that if you were good, you could experience it in full, he could make you feel so good and let you ride out that high... but so long as you insist on being such a stubborn little princess, unfortunately, he can't just give you that. He hates this too, you know, he says. He'd love nothing more than to share pleasure, but you insist on being difficult.

What body parts of their darling do they like the most?

Legs and thighs. He likes the aesthetics of legs, the softness, the way the flesh feels in his hands. The way touching them can make you jolt, the sensitivity, the way they leave little marks so perfectly if he sucks and bites at the skin. It's just really pretty.

[thekatea]

Three Body (2023)

Watched: 14.02.2023

Right or wrong is only a matter of perspective.

I love a show that makes me engaged. That makes me think and question presented topics. That makes me want to think how I would react if I was presented with the same ideas, what would be my questions and doubts, and who would I side with. That makes me analyze the statements of the characters trying to figure out what flaws they might have, and in what aspects they are correct. Three-Body is all that.

I saw quite a number of people say that you need to be patient with this show to enjoy it. I would honestly disagree. Being patient means you need to tolerate something negative, and I see no such a thing in the show. Slow pace? For me it added to the charm of it. The even pacing, how each time they dropped a new hint, they added a few more questions, the mystery of it all, the lack of answers - for me, these are exactly the things I loved about it. So if someone finds these annoying, I don’t think any level of patience will make them like Three-Body in the end.

My favorite aspect of the drama was how it exposed the limits of human’s perception and cognition. How limited we are by our beliefs, hopes, motives, experiences and even biological aspects. We are painfully biased towards our own species. But it also shows how normal that is and that it can be, at least to some extent, overcome.

Not to mention the diversity of the characters in terms of their personalities, motivations, moralities. It’s truly an art how they slowly showed all the layers of the characters, their perspectives and plans. It was a perfectly crafted journey. They knew exactly when to disclose different information to keep the interest of the viewers.

How hard is it to understand the show? I’m not gonna lie, it’s not an easy watch, but that comes from someone who knows exactly nothing about physics. I had to rewatch a few scenes to understand the theories, some google searches also helped. All that is not needed to get the big picture, but it adds to the viewing experience.

Were there any things that bothered me or could potentially bother others? Yes. Since the drama invites you to analyze everything and pay attention to all the details, it’s also easier to pick up some inconsistencies. That said, a lot of them can be excused by the unreliable narrator at any given moment and their own goals in sharing some, but not all information, and at times even distorting it.

What’s more - we don’t get clear cut answers for a lot of questions asked. Some of it might be the result of the drama being based on just the first book in the trilogy, but some seem to be left vague with no hope for solid answers even in next installments. I can clearly see how this could piss off many people, me being weird, I actually enjoyed it. The fact that I had to form my own theories on why some things happened based on the hints and bits of information was an additional entertainment for me.

There were two moments in the drama that made me go: okay, that’s dumb. That said, two scenes in 30 episodes is a ration of dumbness I can easily ignore.

Last criticism I have is the whole existence of Mu Xing - she did not bring anything new or important to the table. She did not offer an interesting perspective nor a unique take on the events happening. She was there as a plot device and I find it a bit disappointing.

For the performances - some were better than others, but all were great. Chen Jin and Wang Zi Wen did an amazing job portraying the same characters in different moments of her life. You can see the changes in her, but she still seems like the same person. I loved Yu He Wei as Shi Qiang and he easily became my favorite character. I loved his bond with Wang Miao, and even though they could not exist in more different worlds, they formed a perfect partnership.

One performance that seemed a bit flat was Li Xiao Ran as Shen Yu Fei - she was supposed to be this driven woman with a mission, but she overall just seemed numb and detached.

The production value was perfection. I truly have zero complaints. I loved the small animation bits explaining the Farmer and Shooter theories, I loved the game graphics, I loved the set designs. I especially loved everything about how the past story was presented. So many aesthetically beautiful moments.

Talking about Three-Body, I need to mention the soundtrack. I was in awe from the first seconds of any of the songs and even just the ambient sounds used for many scenes. It added so much to the storytelling and perfectly built the atmosphere.

Overall, I could not recommend it more if you like complex stories that require full attention and some additional brainpower for theory making, since they don’t really spoon feed you all the answers. How much you can enjoy the show depends on how much you are motivated to figure out the mystery and story behind the characters.

Ps. Can it be viewed as stand alone? Kind of. Depends on how much of a closure you are expecting. Ps 2. I need 2nd season yesterday.

[iamanartichoke]

I wasn't sure if I was going to post this, but I may as well.

I keep starting to reply to things and then stopping bc the words just aren't there, and I suppose I figured out the core of what bothers me so much (and is making me have such a rollercoaster of a fan experience) about the show.

(cut for length)

It's not well-written. My opinion is my opinion, so I'm saying this subjectively, take it or leave it, but ... I feel that it's not well-written. The overall story is fine, and the plot is fine, but I don't know if it's because of the limited number of episodes not being enough to house the story, or because of the relative inexperience of the writer/showrunner+director, or both, or something else, but -

In an earlier reaction post to episode 4, I mentioned really wanting to sink my teeth into all of the subtext I picked up on. That was what made me initially enjoy the episode so much - there were a lot of little moments that I initially felt revealed so much about the characters and about Loki, and I wanted to analyze them. But at some point, as I gathered more information, my perspective changed and now I no longer want to analyze the subtext bc ... subtext = good. Subtext w/out payoff = not as good.

I'll go into more detail in a moment, but I think the tl;dr of it is that I feel like the narrative requires the audience to work way too hard to put together all of the moving pieces here and, like, I kinda just don't want to do that work? Not so much of it, and not in vain. A lot of the enjoyment of Loki's characterization is coming from fans who are rationalizing why he's behaving as he is, but the narrative never actually confirms those rationalizations. It's asking us to figure it out and maybe our conclusions will be correct but maybe they won't, though. At some point, subtext isn't enough without explicit follow-through.

I thought my issue was with the lack of character development - that is, not having enough narrative space to really earn the big things that are happening now, like Loki/Sylvie or Mobius turning against the TVA. And that's still true, to an extent; I still feel like the pacing is all very off and it seems like most of these things kinda came out of nowhere (but are not unbelievable - just undeveloped).

But, yknow, it is what it is, it's a limited series, and I can excuse some things. Ultimately, my issue isn't a problem with what the narrative isn't doing, it's a problem with what the narrative already failed to do and probably cannot recover from at this point.

The narrative has left out significant details that should at least help us do some of the work here. If a person turned on Loki and started episode 1 and had no background knowledge of the character besides that he tried to take over New York - how would that person interpret Loki? Would that person say, oh, well, he's been through X, Y, and Z, and plus A happened, not to mention B, C, and D, so really, it makes sense that he seems off-the-rails, or that he'd want to get ridiculously drunk at the worst time ever.

Maybe we'd like to believe they would, but how would they be getting to that conclusion? The narrative hasn't led them in that direction so, no, they would not say well we have to consider this, this, and that. It would be impossible to really understand Loki as a character from just what we've gotten in the series. The general audience would probably interpret Loki as being out of his element and so it becomes, I wonder how this character is going to get the upper hand here. And, while that's not wrong, it's just so limited.

The narrative at face value does not address Loki's identity crisis from Thor 2011. It does not address his hurt and devastation at being lied to, nor does it address how complicated his self-image is (bc it sucked to begin with and that was before he found out he was part of a race of "monsters," as he'd been taught his entire life). It does not reference Loki being so broken at the end of Thor 2011 that he deliberately let himself fall into the void of space (aka tried to kill himself). It does not reference that he was tortured by Thanos or even that he went through a seriously dark time in between Thor and Avengers, and it absolutely does not reference or address any influence or control of the mind stone.

These are all things that we, the fan audience, know because we've already invested our time into this character's story. But tons of people, the general audience, wouldn't know these things. Or if they did, bc they saw Thor and Avengers, they wouldn't be thinking about them as deeply as we would, nor contextualizing them with how Loki is behaving now, or why it would make sense that he needed to get drunk, or why it's understandable that he needs to keep going-going-going in order to not have a spare second to think or feel.

They'd probably look at Loki, again, as a character who was a villain and is now getting his comeuppance in a place where he has no power or control, and no literal powers, and even when he manages to escape and catch up to the variant, he proceeds to fuck up their plan for seemingly no real reason except that he wanted to get drunk bc he's hedonistic. Which Sylvie even berates him for! I mean. This is not exactly a complex character breakdown, nor a very flattering one, but that's what the narrative has given us.

(If the narrative has addressed Loki's mind control, his torture, his mental breakdown, his suicide attempt, and his general shitty self-esteem as a result of his upbringing, please point it out to me. If the narrative has explicitly acknowledged and referenced these things anywhere and I am missing it, please show me where. Please explain to me how the casual viewer would know any of these things that they need to know in order to actually understand what's happening in this story.)

So I mean, okay, we have a narrative that doesn't paint a full, accurate picture of Loki. Fine, sure. But because the general audience starts out on the wrong footing, they're not going to get out of the overall story what the writers probably intended them to. For example, in episode 3, a lot of us theorized that Loki had some kind of plan - that he broke the timepad on purpose, for some reason, bc otherwise it wasn't believable that he'd be such a failure. But episode 4 revealed that no, there was no bigger plan, Loki just plain old messed up. Which is fine if, again, one is only considering the surface-level portrayal here, but it's not true to Loki's actual characterization.

I mean. Loki is not perfect and Loki actually fails a lot, this is true. He fails for a lot of reasons, but incompetence has never been one of them. Usually it's that either things grew beyond his control, or there ended up being too many moving parts, or he had to change his plan at the last minute due to some roadblock or another being thrown his way, or even that he got in his own way - whatever the case may be for his plans' failures, he was always at least shown to know what he was doing.

That wasn't the case here. The "plan" to fix the Timepad failed as a direct result of Loki's actions, which were careless and made him seem incompetent, like he couldn't even handle this mission. "You had one job," etc. And there were pretty big consequences for this; they were not able to get off-world in time and would have been killed had the TVA not shown up at the last second.

And maybe none of these things matter bc the writers never intended any of this to be a reflection on Loki's character, positive or negative. The situation exists solely because the writers needed to put Loki and Sylvie together in some kind of hopeless scenario so that they could get closer, and thus the narrative could set up their romance. I get that - but, there were other ways to do it that didn't require Loki to look foolish.

Furthermore, the whole reason they needed to set up the romance is to show Loki eventually learning to love himself (like, figuratively but also literally). The audience is supposed to gather that Loki and Sylvie fell for one another, possibly due to the high emotional aspect of, yknow, being about to die (in addition to the variant-bond). The intent is clear: Loki and Sylvie almost die but get rescued at the last minute, having now created an emotional bond --> Loki and Sylvie team up and the narrative further establishes that Loki, at least, has caught feelings --> Loki might confess them but is pruned before he gets the chance --> he somehow survives, he and Sylvie are reunited and don't want to lose one another again, and the combined power of their love is enough to break the sacred timeline and spawn the multiverse, and the reason that the power of their love is so, well, powerful is because it's about self-love and self-acceptance as much as it is about having the capacity to love someone else. The end.

I get all that. The writers more or less said all that. And, I mean, it's certainly not the way I would have chosen to go about it, but it's a fair enough arc to explore. I don't really have an issue with the intent - but my question, however, is this: if the narrative has so far not addressed Loki's background issues (as outlined above), and has furthermore kinda gone out of its way to portray Loki as hedonistic and narcissistic, among other things (like kinda incompetent), and the context the audience starts with is that Loki's this villain who deserves what he gets -

- my question is 1, why should the audience care whether or not Loki gets to a point of loving and accepting himself (thus to make the theme of self-love, via the romance, hold weight) if they don't know that he hates himself to begin with and 2, why should the audience root for Loki to reach that point when so far the perception of him is that he's "kind of an asshole"? if he's a hedonistic narcissist, he probably already has a pretty inflated sense of himself, right? A misplaced inflated sense of himself, at that, because, again, the narrative has made him out to be not that capable of much of anything. (And it didn't start out that way! It seemed to start out with Loki being capable and intelligent but it's like episode 3, in trying to set up the romance, just jumbled it all up somewhere. I think this is why I'm harping on the Loki/Sylvie aspect so much - it's frustrating bc it kinda messes up the whole story and can't even accomplish what it's supposed to anyway.)

Anyway, that's beside the point. What I'm ultimately getting at is, at what point is the audience supposed to get invested in Loki's personal growth journey?

They can't, not really. Without understanding and having the context of everything Loki has been through up until now, and why he hates himself, and why it's so important that he learn to love himself, then the "payoff" becomes kinda pointless bc the significance of it is lost in translation. So suddenly we're left with this romance that comes off as either "Loki loves Sylvie bc of Reasons" (best-case scenario) or "Loki loves Sylvie bc he's vain, narcissistic, and kinda twisted" (worst-case scenario). Neither of these conclusions are what the writers intended or were going for, I'm positive, but there we are, regardless.

In order for the writers' intent in these storylines to land, they need to address the context of what makes these particular stakes high for Loki. So far, they haven't done that. They're asking the audience to pick up on all of these things, and they're showing things that subtextually make sense and are relatively in-character - but only if you realize there's subtext in the first place.

But you can't expect the audience to do all of the work for you. If you don't want the audience to think that Loki is a narcissistic asshole and instead you are trying to convey that, worst-case scenario, he thinks he's a narcissist but is an unreliable narrator, then you have to address that. If you need the audience to understand why you're going the selfcest route and why it's important to explore Loki's capacity to love himself and others, you have to address where that exploration is starting from and why it matters. Etc etc etc.

The narrative isn't doing any of that. And it isn't like it'd be that hard to do it. They don't need to reinvent the wheel here; a lot of the pieces are already there. A few lines of dialogue for context, a brief scene here or there addressing the issues, a little more care and consistency in how Loki handles things - these are all little things that could go a long fucking way in making the narrative stronger.

I'm rambling. My basic point is that my rollercoaster of emotions with this show is because

- as a part of the fan audience, not the general one, I can contextualize and analyze the subtext and come to the conclusions the show wants me to, and thus find the story and the characters more or less enjoyable,

- but I am also going to be using the subtext to come to conclusions that aren't there but probably should be (I think it would be a better story, for example, for Loki to confuse platonic love with romantic love bc it would pave the way to explore just how fucked up Loki's understanding of love - whether of other people or of himself, and the different forms it can take - actually is)

- and when they're ultimately not there, then I think, okay why am I bothering doing all this work just to ultimately feel very unfulfilled? They don't even have to write it the way I would, I'm not saying that, but they do have to do something to make the story feel rewarding.

If we don't get some confirmation of what Loki's been through, and where his headspace is, and why it matters for him to love himself, then the story remains pretty shallow and, for me, it's not fulfilling enough. It's not engaging enough. There isn't actually anything to sink my teeth into, so it becomes kind of boring. Maybe it's rewarding to other people, and that's great for them, but like - I need more than whatever this is.

So I'm just like - well, I had a lot of worries about this show, but my being bored wasn't one of them and now there's only two episodes left and am I really not going to get anything out of this, in the long run? No new canons, no new depths or layers, no new information on Loki's experiences? This is it?

I don't dislike it. I didn't start out disliking it, and I probably wont end up disliking it. I mean, there are a lot of good moments, and good things, and fan service-y things that I appreciate. As far as inspiration for fic goes, it's a goldmine, both plot-wise as well as aesthetic-wise. All of that is great. I don't dislike this show.

But I am disappointed in it, and I feel like I'll be watching the next two episodes lacking the sense of anticipation that would make it exciting. I'll still enjoy them, probably, if for nothing else just the sheer Loki content, but whatever it was I felt watching episodes 1 and 2 is gone and I'm sad about that, too. Because I really wanted to feel fulfilled by this series; I wanted it to fill up the void that Loki's death in IW created three years ago. And I just ... don't feel it. Maybe, maybe that'll change over the course of episodes 5 and 6. I don't know.

Everything that I end up enjoying long-term, I think, will come about as a result of my own interpretations and analysis and while theoretically there's nothing wrong with that, if I had known all I'd get out of this series was more headcanons or support for my current headcanons then, well - that's fine, I suppose, but I'll definitely a little bit robbed.

[jikxn]

(Updated) Rumi BO Theory

Video link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Z_JWCrKJ4Q

(File 181)

Rumi’s possession of an updated APTX list is a clear indication that she has ties with the BO. My reasoning is that in file 181, Haibara and Kudou confiscated a floppy disk that contained black organization data on it, however, the disk was encrypted with the “night baron” virus, which prevents unauthorized users from accessing the BO’s sensitive data. It seems that Rumi is able to bypass this firewall, which hints at her being affiliated with the organization. 

(File 852)

During the cherry blossom case, Haibara didn’t sense either Bourbon or Vermouth, which means she was nerfed after the events of the mystery train. I attribute this to her no longer feeling threatened by the organization considering team Kudou’s “successful” attempt at faking her death. Gosho used this opportunity to play with the reader’s expectation that if Haibara didn’t sense a new character's BO presence, then that automatically disqualified them. By doing this Gosho could keep readers guessing about future RUM candidates.

The reason Haibara was able to sense RUM is that he’s the second in command. He has access to Karasuma, so his BO “aura” is intense. His presence probably re-ignited her ability causing her to react even though he wasn’t in the same room as her. The aforementioned points explain why despite being in constant contact with Rumi, Haibara hasn’t reacted negatively to her presence.

(Notice that Haibara and Wakita only share a chapter after the reveal, I believe this was intentional, as the purpose of her nerf was to mislead readers about Rumi’s BO affiliation)

(File 987)

Next, Kuroda connected her name to the Haneda case, which proves that people with knowledge about it can easily make this noticeable observation. Despite this, the organization still hasn’t tried to lay a finger on her considering that she still teaches at the elementary school.

The panel that illustrates the content on Kuroda’s laptop is the broken hand mirror with PTON engraved on it. I think this was done intentionally by Gosho to illustrate that Kuroda is making a connection between the dying message and her name. It’s clear that they met in the past, but the main point here is that he’s questioning her new alias, as the name is related to Haneda’s dying message.  

(File 954)

The song called Asaka case was used to emphasize the organization's concerns regarding the Haneda case. However, despite, being on the news the BO hasn’t reacted to her name, which is a play on the elementary solution to the dying message WAKASA RUMI = ASAKA RUM (IW). The BO not reacting to her name is based on the assumption that they’ve taken notice of her silly name.

(File 1062)

Gosho provides hints for this “assumption”. During the serial murder case,  Rum’s able to notice the FBI’s fake code as a result of the differences in the romaji. This is important because it illustrates Rum’s perceptiveness in being able to spot differences in Japanese characters or romaji. 

If that’s the case, why wouldn’t he be able to notice the similarities between the romaji in Rumi’s name and Haneda’s dying message? Remember there was a blogger who kept posting information regarding the case, despite it being taken down, so it’s highly likely that RUM has seen the broken hand mirror.  The blogger's attempts to solve the case should also incentivize RUM to move with caution at any mention of a name associated with the Haneda case, similarly, to he/their reaction to the Asaka song case. Despite all of this the organization still allows her to move freely. 

Overall, RUM’s ability to spot the FBI’s fake code could be a way of Gosho hinting towards him, not only being aware of Haneda's dying message (it was written and meant to be deciphered using romaji) but Rumi’s alias as well. 

(File 980)

Now, instead of harboring animosity towards her, RUM compliments Rumi calling her quick-witted, and we know he was talking about her because both she and the culprit were the only ones visible in the picture. He couldn’t have been referring to Kudou because he wasn’t visible to the cameras at this time.

Anyways, Rum’s complement is important because it could be evidence that he knows who Rumi is, otherwise, why wouldn’t he move with caution on the premise that she could be the unknown blogger considering her name?

(File 1008)

The way he reacted to an equally threatening situation like the reappearance of Kudou Shinichi is different than when he compliments Rumi. The difference is that he smirks at Rumi’s mention, but seems agitated and worried about Kudou’s reappearance. The difference in his expressions must mean that Rumi isn’t a threat in his eyes.  

Ultimately, the point here is that the BO doesn't seem to harbor any animosity towards her and she doesn’t seem to be hiding. The evidence of her lacking the ambition to stay incognito is that she lives in an expensive condo, where celebrities once resided and she also uses a fake name that is blatantly referencing the Haneda case, which we know she has knowledge of because she’s in possession of Haneda’s memento. 

My conclusion is that she’s a current black organization member. She has an APTX list, which means that she has some sort of BO clearance that hasn’t been revealed yet, otherwise the data would have suffered the same fate as the floppy disk. Kuroda reacted negatively to her name, but RUM hasn’t despite Gosho illustrating his perceptiveness in being able to criticize romaji. The BO doesn’t take threats lightly considering RUM’s current mission regarding Kogoro, so why would Rumi get a pass? Unless she’s operating with their approval, otherwise, she’d suffer the same fate as ex-agents like “Sherry” and Pisco.

[troquantary]

Cutting Hair as Punishment in the Twilight Saga

Okay, I’ve been trying to organize my thoughts around this into a sort-of-essay format for a while, because I find it disturbingly mean-spirited: Meyer has a pattern of using hair-cutting as a form of punishment for characters, especially female characters, who fail to embrace Bella and the Cullens with open arms. I’m talking particularly about Leah and Lauren, both of whom, while not outright antagonists like Victoria or James, are situated along with Rosalie as “against” Bella throughout the series. The Quileute pack, meanwhile, is situated largely “against” the Cullens, meaning Jacob and the rest of the pack get the Haircut of Shame, too.

(Also, I’ve been creeping through @panlight ‘s blog because I thought she had a recent post relating to this -- I was probably thinking of this submission and her addendum, which does discuss Meyer’s “punishment” of certain characters, but that post was about characters suffering for not waiting for True Love, or daring to do the Devil’s Tango before marriage. Still, it’s on-theme and very much worth reading, like all her stuff!)

So here’s the general outline: first I’m gonna talk about the shapeshifters and how their overall lack of choice frames cutting their hair as something forced on them and therefore punitive. Then I’m going to discuss Meyer’s FAQ response where she reveals that Lauren was tricked into cutting off most of her hair over the summer before New Moon, and how this adds an extra fun misogynistic element to the hair-cutting theme with respect to Lauren and Leah. I also use way too many words to do it, sorry.

Punishment | The Shapeshifters Are Given No Other Option

I don’t have the background or knowledge to discuss the significance of long hair to indigenous culture and identity in detail, and my understanding is that different tribes ascribe different meanings to it. What I’ve read it about it suggests that, generally, long hair represents strength of one’s individual spirit and of the community. It’s a source of pride, and is only cut off voluntarily in extraordinary circumstances, often as an expression of grief, or to mark a significant life change.

This sort of works in the context of the shapeshifters all cutting their hair -- phasing into a giant wolf, discovering the existence of the supernatural, and assuming the role of protectors is a major life event for these characters. But the negative associations make it a troubling choice on Meyer’s part, and that’s without even getting into the problem of her imposing her own worldbuilding onto the legends and culture of a real tribe. Because of the lack of choice involved in becoming a shapeshifter, the whole situation feels like a scenario in which the Quileute characters have their hair forcibly cut -- a degrading and traumatic act that (depending on their particular tribal belief) might symbolically sever them from their sense of cultural identity and connection with the rest of their tribe.

It all kind of begs the question: why does Meyer even have shapeshifting work this way? What narrative utility is there in having the length of their hair in human form determine the length of their fur as wolves, thereby compelling the shapeshifters to cut it so it isn’t a physical impediment? It’s another sign of the changes in Jacob, sure, but he’s already being uncharacteristically cold and distant, plus suddenly has the physique of a fit twenty-five-year-old; Bella already knows something’s very wrong. His short hair is just another jarring thing for Bella to notice and mourn, like the loss of Jacob’s “baby face” and general sunniness.

It does work as a symbolic thing, representing another sacrifice Jacob has to make and the change in how he now has to perceive himself -- but he’s already got a literal giant wolf form to represent that change in identity/self-perception. Forcing him to cut his hair too just feels like piling on. My argument here, which I hope will be supported when I discuss Lauren and Leah further in, is that it’s not just piling on, but actively punitive -- because much like Leah and Lauren are “against” Bella, the pack at large is “against” the Cullens pretty much through the end of the series.

The Quileute pack is definitely not a Cullen fanclub. The entire purpose of their existence is to destroy vampires, and the truce they have with the Cullens isn’t friendly. They still don’t particularly like or trust the Cullens even after allying with them in Eclipse, and in Breaking Dawn Sam is fully prepared to go to war against them to enforce the treaty. Bella expresses frustration with Jacob and the pack for not appreciating the Cullens more, yet is curiously less willing to scold Alice, Edward, or Rosalie when they call the Quileutes dogs and complain about their smell. (I think she might reprimand Edward for it at some point, but I don’t remember the exact passage.) Bella even starts throwing around “dog” and “mutt” as an insult herself -- I think we know whose side ol’ “Switzerland” is on, here, and whose side Meyer is on as well. The Quileutes aren’t exactly enemies, and in fact are crucial to the Cullens’ survival in both the newborn and Volutri conflicts, but they’re punished nonetheless because they aren’t wholeheartedly Team Cullen from the get-go.

So to explain why I’m so convinced that there’s a link between hair-cutting and punishment in particular, let’s talk about Lauren. There’s a definite gendered element to it this time, too -- by being tricked into cutting her hair, Lauren isn’t just diminished/shamed, but rendered (*thunderclap*) unfeminine.

Lauren Was Rude To Bella Like Twice, Let’s Humiliate Her

I think Meyer’s answer to the question “What happened to Lauren’s hair?” on her FAQ page speaks for itself:

Ha ha. I had fun imagining this one—I only wished that it had fit into the book somewhere. Lauren fell victim to the “model discovered in the mall” scam. An alleged modeling agent approached Lauren in a mall in Victoria, B.C., and told her she was a natural model. Lauren ate it up. The agent told her that if she did something edgy with her hair, and took some high quality head shots, her future was assured. Lauren followed the instructions—dropping fifteen grand on the pictures taken by the agent’s partner—and waited for her career to begin. She’s still waiting. Snort.

It’s pretty obvious that this was done spitefully. Here’s the list of Lauren’s crimes against humanity Bella at this point in the series: 1) she was jealous of the attention Bella was getting as the new girl; 2) she talked behind Bella’s back once, saying Bella might as well just sit with the Cullens now (and she isn’t wrong); 3) she eyed Bella “scornfully” the day of the La Push beach trip; and perhaps most damningly, 4) she’s blonde.

Post-haircut, she has the gall not to be thrilled that Bella’s deigning to speak to the lowly non-Cullens again, then sides with Jessica after Bella uses Jessica to make a point to her dad, is shitty company, and then risks getting them both raped and murdered in Port Angeles so she could get off on her hallucination of Edward’s voice.

I think it’s pretty common knowledge that long hair is tied to patriarchal notions of femininity and attractiveness. Women with short hair are still derided for being ugly, or assumed to be lesbians in a derogatory sense, or simply considered less feminine and therefore less desirable/worthy (because a woman’s worth depends on her desirability, after all). For many women and girls, losing their long hair -- whether because of illness, or gum getting stuck in it, or whatever -- is very upsetting and a hard blow to their self-esteem. Just look at Alice as an example of Traumatic Short Hair; her hair was shorn like that because she received electroshock “treatments” in an asylum. (Although in Alice’s case, I don’t think her having short hair is punishment, but a facet of the traumatic backstory all female characters in Twilight have to have for some reason. Plus, she started the series with short hair, which distinguishes her from the pack and Lauren, who were tricked or compelled into cutting their long hair during the series.)

But Lauren’s so bitchy, so she deserves it, right? Ha ha, she was mean to Bella and cared about her appearance too much, so now she’s ~ugly!

Leah Has It the Worst and It Makes Me Want To Burn Everything

The misogynistic aspect of hair-cutting as punishment is taken up to like, twelve with Leah. Not only does she suffer for being “against” the Cullens along with the rest of the pack (and Bella, too, so extra sinning), but she suffers uniquely for being the only female shapeshifter. A bunch of teenage boys regularly see her naked body against her will. Her previously devoted boyfriend imprints on her cousin/best friend, Sam dumps her and can’t even explain why, and the whole pack -- including her own brother -- resents her for being upset about it, even though she can’t help the lack of mental privacy. Because of that same lack of mental privacy, she has to hear every gripe the boys have about her, plus every enthralled thought Sam has about Emily while she’s still deeply wounded by their breakup.

She blames herself for her dad’s death, because she phased at the wrong time. We don’t get any indication that her fellow shapeshifters or the elders are trying to reassure her otherwise.

And of course, because she’s a shapeshifter, she has to cut her hair. In addition, because Leah’s a woman, this has the same misogynistic connotations as it did with Lauren. In Leah’s case, though, the de-feminization is compounded by her sudden infertility. It’s clear that Leah attaches her sense of womanhood to her fertility, rightly or wrongly -- she bitterly calls herself a “genetic dead end” in Breaking Dawn and thinks of herself as a freak. She feels like there must be something wrong with her, some un-womanly flaw, that made her one of the shapeshifters at all.

Then, just when Jacob starts to see her as a human being worthy of compassion, he imprints on Renesmee and doesn’t give a shit about anyone or anything else anymore. No more bonding with Leah, no blooming friendship to help her heal and come to terms with the new realities of her life. (This is one of those dropped threads that aggravate me to no end -- what was the point of having Leah opening up to Jacob, or starting Jacob on the path of realizing he was being a dick to her this whole time and that she’s a person with  value, if he was just going to spend the rest of the book as Renesmee’s love-zombie and never think about it again? Disgusting.)

Leah was a lot more forgiving of Jacob than he deserved at that point in the story, for all the good it did her -- I think she’s mentioned maybe once in Book 3 of Breaking Dawn. At least she got her god-tier moment of yelling at a deranged, pregnant Bella Swan.

Speaking of Bella...

I’m just going to note, for no particular reason, that in Breaking Dawn we get to hear explicitly that Bella’s got hair that falls “almost to her waist” and that she looks like “a freaking supermodel” because she’s so “beautiful and pale.” It just strikes me as a telling contrast at this point.

[theowlhousefanboy]

A Personal List: Movies That Should Have Stayed As Standalones.

- Die Hard

- Predator

- The Hunt for Red October (you can even say the same with the books, but at least those are still way better than their movie adaptations)

- The Land Before Time

- First Blood a.k.a. the first Rambo movie to the unlearned (the sequels ruined the original message of the first film and ultimately render it moot; what’s worse, however, is the largely negative pop culture addiction to those rambunctious and aimless films in mainstream public perceptions, media, and even pro- and anti-military opinions and perspectives)

- Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (the first two sequels, Dead Man’s Chest and At World’s End, are still good if not great in their own right, but once more, the first film can ultimately stand on its own)

- Halloween (Halloween II and 2018 have their fans, but this film does feel like it shouldn’t have created a franchise due to its rampant success)

- A Nightmare on Elm Street (Dream Warriors and A New Nightmare are still good though)

- The Naked Gun (the sequels still have their fun and games antics, but nothing can beat the first film in originality and overall lack of incessant pandering)

- Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (same as The Naked Gun)

- Starship Troopers (yes, there are sequels and even spin-offs; would you like to know more?)

- American Psycho (again, there is a sequel, but you’re really lucky if you haven’t heard about it until now)

- The Crow (three sequels, to be exact)

- A Christmas Story (there are two sequels, the second being It Runs in the Family or My Summer Story in some regions, and the third being called A Christmas Story 2, of all things)

- The Matrix

- Kingsman: The Secret Service (The Golden Circle has its fair share of moments though; godspeed, Merlin)

- Jaws (why are there unnecessary sequels again?)

- Highlander (there can only be one)

- Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

- Caddyshack

- Ghostbusters 1984 (then again, the second film, the two TV series it spawned, and the 2009 video game are gems)

- RoboCop 1987

- Scary Movie

- Godzilla 1954 (though, thankfully, a lot of the sequels and remakes are good in their own unique rights)

- Mulan 1999 (a notable victim of Disney’s past cycle of lackluster direct-to-video sequels of successful theatrical films, alongside Pocahontas, The Fox and the Hound, and Tarzan; however, animated films like The Lion King, Aladdin, Bambi, The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, and Peter Pan have surprsingly good DTV sequels of their own)

[reverielix]

Bang chan as a boyfriend based on his chart?

Sure ;)))

Let’s get straight into it!💭

I’ve been wanting to talk about his interceptions/duplications for some time, and now it finally fits haha!!😊 His Venus is intercepted and...let’s say that his chart (+ Saturn singleton and other aspects) poses some obstacles for romantic relationships, and suggests a personal transition/journey he has to go through in order to even allow himself to experience romantic love and affection....🤭

Scorpio is intercepted in the 6th house in his chart while Taurus is intercepted in the 12th house. Capricorn makes up for it and rules both the 8th and 9th house as Cancer rules both the 2nd and 3rd house. So what does that mean?

First of all, the qualities associated with Scorpio and Taurus are hard for him to access as they weren’t taught or understood at an early age. This can further suggest that he experienced a lack of love and tenderness, while receiving criticism, (Saturn singleton, 6th house stellium, Chiron in the 6th makes him extremely sensitive to criticism, he started young as a trainee and went through monthly evaluations and such for 7 years!) which probably influenced his self-perception, as he already has low self-esteem and lots of self-doubt implied in his interception, which suggests a need for validation and extra-love, though he was given the opposite. Moreover, he could’ve had issues forming an opinion and sticking to it (supported by his Libra placements), fully devoting himself in a relationship (any type, Mars conjunct 7th house) and leaving his comfort zone. Lack of privacy, fear of loss and struggles regarding finances/recourses may have also occurred in his life. These aspects in regard to the 6th and 12th houses hint at an unstable and insecure environment as a result of lacking routine (e.g. going to sleep at odd hours with Pisces and Virgo here) and giving into bad habits. Something generally big in his chart is his insecurity and deceiving perception of himself as well as his ways of coping (intercepted Taurus, Saturn singleton, Virgo Chiron,... surpresses/ignores feelings or ignores them). He may use his self-doubt and criticism from both others and himself as a “fuel” for his determination and work-ethic to try and prove others and a part of himself wrong. Although one might argue that using negativity to grow from it is benificial, he harms himself subconsciously by having that mindset, since when a) he fails, like all of us do sometimes, he will fall into a pit of self-hatred or b) he achieved a goal, but after it, he’ll still be unsatisfied and want more. It always ends back where he started; craving for UNCONDITIONAL love, but he won’t give himself that type of love (unconditional love can also be associated with Neptune, which is in retrograde in his chart, and can contribute to hyper-awareness of his own wrongs). The love he gives himself is conditional and situational, which he adapted from all the lack of love and criticism and makes him feel like he will never be enough. A big lesson he has to learn is that his work/success doesn’t define him, and he is enough without his awards and wins. He’s an amazing person just being himself, and once he realizes that he deserves unconditional love, he will also be a step further to allow love to come his way. (You can’t come from a place of hatred and expect love to come out at the end!)

In terms of his Venus and his 7th house conjunctions, I can see how he craves love deeply and intensely, he craves privacy and validation, though with intercepted planets the individual isn’t allowed or suppresses a core-part of their personality. In Chan’s case, he suppresses his longing for romantic love and relationships as he is taught to focus on his work (he channels all his energy through his Saturn singleton, work is existential to him) rather than his need for affection, because “I don’t deserve love anyway” (conditional self-love, damaged awareness of self-worth). He perhaps doesn’t consciously know who he is looking for, but craves stability, (a routine to help him feel comfortable, as he values that with his Cancer and Capricorn duplications, but we’ll get to that later) sensuality, validation, appreciation, inspiration, acceptance and most importantly: love! In terms of Taurus here, which is intercepted and is ruled by Venus, I can see how a big life lesson is to value and appreciate his materialistic possessions and achievements that originated from hard work. He needs to learn how to feel appreciative of his past efforts and learn to feel satisfied with himself and his past efforts as well as allow himself to rest.

His Saturn singleton in conjunction with what I’ve discussed previously briefly points out; he channels his entire energy though his work, through restrictions, through his reputation and his ambition. (This Placement fits perfectly with him being on stage. He performs with such purpose, with such determination and devotion by using his body (Aries), and most importantly with his group (11th house).) The Pluto Mars conjunction also hints at Chan being a very devoted individual, who can get engulfed in his task and even isolate himself when doing something he’s passionate about. His Saturn is also in retrograde, which internalizes this placement and makes him very conscious about his success, reputation and overall misery and hardship that he wants to (perhaps aggressively or boldly) take action on and improve all the time. He fears letting people down and wants to live up to their expectations, while often letting himself down in the process, which feeds into his conditional self-love and lack of self-acceptance. He sets limits for himself, when actually, he wants to be free, because he lives in fear of not being enough and fulfilling people’s expectations of him as he wants to have a good reputation and success, be better than all the authority figures with criticizing eyes he’s been exposed to all his life. A contradiction within himself here is that he doesn’t want people to tell him what to do, he doesn’t like being pushed around and wants to be his own boss, but as soon as somebody expects something of him or questions his authority, he wants to prove them wrong and so does what they want. He is a pushover, in a way, but is consciously very resistant toward rules and boundaries other authority figures set for him to follow. Additionally, valuing tradition and following a routine (6th house interception) can be hard for him (especially when it comes to sleep, 12th house). Further interpreting, his Sun (Libra, 5th house) is opposite his Saturn, which can indicate a gap in self-perception that I touched on in the previous paragraph, outlining his rather subconscious (12th house interception, so this part is more “hidden” from him, while the 12th house is already hard to access in the first place) way of self-destruction considering his way with doubt and criticism and how it will forever remain a spiral of negativity that results in no progress if he doesn’t understand he is deserving of UNconditional love). Additionally, he might believe he can only be loved when he performs well and succeeds, which is obviously not true, though it is a big life lesson for him to truly understand that, with his 12th house interception and his tendency to ignore his intuition/spirituality to listen to the logics (air signs and other). He can escape this spiral of negativity by learning this big lesson; he is worthy, he deserves love, he deserves privacy, he deserves care (from himself and others).

Ways to “unlock interceptions” and learn the previously mentioned life lessons are to look at the “directors” (the signs that rule the intercepted houses, so in Chan’s case it’s Libra and Aries), the duplications and take into consideration his intercepted Chiron. First, let’s look at his 6th house ruler: Libra. Libra ruling the 6th house is usually a sign of self-care in a physical sense and beauty and care in everyday routine, pets or a desire of taking care of one. Though, with his Saturn singleton in Aries (opposite Libra) I can see how he works too much and disregards his mental and physical health (12th house would be mental health here). A helpful way of dealing with this is arranging a routine in which he assembles self-care and private time (he had a lack of, which the interceptions point at) to feel instead of brushing his emotions off (12th house interception). He will feel lonely. He longs for love with his Pluto conjunction his descendant, he can even become obsessive about it and feel the need to be with somebody. But as long as he doesn’t understand he deserves UNconditional love from most importantly himself, he won’t be able to allow (healthy) love in his life and recognize when he isn’t being treated the right way, because he pushes others away and has no clarity of what he deserves. In this routine that I have previously mentioned, where he shall implement self-care and privacy, he needs to give himself time to feel and not push his emotions away anymore. And as he accepts his emotions and turmoil, this 12th house part that we all have (this part that Billie addresses in idontwannabeyouanymore), that is hurt and deals with all the things we brush off in a “call me what you wanna, ‘cause I’ve probably called me worse.” way (self-criticism with the Chiron in the 6th — as Chiron is also healing and the 6th house comes together with routine and stability, I can see how this fortifies my claim — and interceptions). When he lets himself feel, accepts his negative feelings and takes care of himself, he will learn to love ALL of him (also his “demon” and will learn to access his 12th house). Through all of this, he will trust himself and his intuition more, learn to use both his brain & heart — here I think it’s remarkable that Melanie has multiple Taurus placements and a Scorpio rising — as the line between reality and delusion isn’t blurry anymore. Listening to his intuition, he will start to feel comfortable with himself and the things and people around him. He will learn to surround himself with the things he feels comfortable with, and not only “should” (brain). This is a big desire: comfort. His Cancer/Capricorn duplications leave him longing for a home, though as long as he doesn’t feel at home with himself, he won’t feel at home anywhere (ties in with 2nd house Cancer and his self-esteem being ruled by the moon with a desire for comfort). And when he learned to love, accept and feel comfortable with himself, he will allow love into his life and not push anyone away anymore (he will learn that it doesn’t matter if he failed or not, if he worked hard enough or not: he deserves love and care like he gives it to others). This is how he could “unlock” his Venus, perhaps. Regarding his Neptune retrograde in the 9th; in conjunction with his 12th house being intercepted, he needs to learn to create a sleep pattern that is healthy and provides him with enough rest. This will then also strengthen his trust and intuition.

Also, his Pluto Mars conjunction conjunct his 7th can imply that whenever he experiences hurt or is left by somebody else, he can transition this pain and obstacle into power and drive, motivation with which he approaches new relationships. This ties in with the dominant role that Saturn plays in his life, as Saturn is essentially working hard through hurdles and misery to come out successful.

So, now that we’ve established that his chart is challenging in regards to his love life and really just anything, we can get into the actual thing haha

⇢ confession/beginning stages

His Libra Sun and Mercury in the 5th, Gemini rising and Aquarius mc can give him a very playful and airy first impression

He is generally attracted to mannerism, soft spokenness and gentleness, as he also likes showing these parts of himself to romance others haha

Would probably take it slow and not rush into relationships (would take a while to confess, he first has to relish in the feeling of having a crush lol)

He might want to introduce himself as the fun and flirty version of himself, though I feel like he’d be way less bold than Minho (he’s a shy Libra bean) — it doesn’t mean he’s “acting” or anything. That’s just as much him as is every other part of his chart.

I don’t think his Venus would shine through in the beginning (I’d be more his air signs taking the lead, talking away and vibing lol) He’d most likely keep it light and nice on the first date, show off his manners yk👀

His intercepted Venus stressed that it would take him a lot of work to let himself freely express his love language and refrain from bottling it up

But once he does let himself express his love freely, during his confession or an intimate moment, it would fizz all up

His confession may be very thought through and planned, though in the moment, he’d just improvise anyway and fizz up like a bottle of sparkling water under too much pressure from holding back everything

Heartfelt confessions are his specialty, though he’d probably get very emotional

Scorpio is already kind of a wild sea, waves hitting the stones, but that interception would just contribute to this inner tension and turmoil

Once he feels attraction toward somebody, it can be very intense, even scary at times

His confession would be the one of a young boy who feels love for the very first time, intense and emotional, maybe clumsy

Though he’d mean every word

He’s just such a loving and caring person,,,,I’m not crying you are because even astrology says he’s nurturing and lovely

⇢ overall behavior in relationship

I feel like this short fic describes it pretty well haha (I read it and immediately thought of his Scorpio Venus interception)

It could be scary for him to be in love with somebody and go past the first, flirty phase

He’d be very devoted and give his all in the relationship (like how Minho would)

Just with the exception that Minho is pretty aware of this part of himself and embraces it with confidence

Though Chan on the other hand would get to know himself in another light

His emotions would fizz up, as he’s held the desire for love back for way too long (his Libra placements and especially his Pluto descendant conjunction have been begging him) and he could perhaps find the intensity of his romantic feelings scary or shocking

His Pluto descendant conjunction gives him a transformative feature. He can be drawn to relationships in which power dynamics can become toxic, though he has the skill to take the pain and transform himself from a hurting to a more powerful person in control. This can be something to look out for when he hasn’t yet gone through the lesson of acceptance and love for himself as his little self-esteem can be abused by a partner with this placement (Also, his Taurus interception hints at a lack of self-worth and boundaries, just like his 12 and 6th house interceptions do, as he can have issues recognizing when something is happening to him that is not right and he doesn’t deserve). Pluto conjunct the descendant can also hint at a partnership in which both partners are very successful and work together toward wealth, success and a comfortable home. His Venus is intercepted and this aspect points at, amongst other things, an unknowingness when it comes to an ideal type or what someone looks for in relationships. The Pluto descendant conjunction and Venus placement suggest that he is subconsciously on the outlook for or especially attracted by somebody who he can work hard together with and is devoted to the relationship and him. He may end up with somebody very successful and wealthy, who transforms him deeply as this person can feel to him like they are too intense for words to describe them.

His Mars conjunct his Pluto and the descendant accentuates what I previously said as he tends to express his drive and motivation in one-to-one relationships, which can bring a passion and determination into a relationship. He tends to get swallowed up by what he does, oftentimes forgets time or a sense of when to stop when he’s especially motivated or passionate about something. In a relationship that could mean a great deal of loyalty and devotion as well as proactiveness when it comes to achieving shared goals and fulfilling shared desires.

His Venus is in a square aspect with his Neptune, which is in retrograde. As I have discussed before, he needs to give himself time to let himself feel. Here it is suggested that there can be a cloud where certain feelings lie. He has a hard time accessing his subconscious, dreams, spirituality and intuition (in conjunction with his 12th house and Neptune rx he, as he has also confirmed, doesn’t have a good relationship with sleep). He has difficulty with his feelings and recognizing, accepting and embracing them. He can be prone to deception and misjudgment (reality and delusion are blurred, as I said previously and also mentioned a way to “unlock” that). Here it’s possible he may choose a partner not right for him, somebody who deludes him into that tale of an intense and powerful bond as his Venus interception also suggests, as already mentioned; he doesn’t consciously know who he’s looking for. He simply craves love and a comfortable, successful future and tends to see that in people who are not for him. It may be hard for him to feel fulfilled if he doesn’t feel fulfilled with himself yet and also because of this deceptiveness he tends to have.

All these things, the 7th house, Pluto, Scorpio, Mars and the interceptions are very much rooted within him. Having watched this video (I would highly recommend you to check her channel out if you’re into astrology!) on shadows and blind spots in astrology, I realized that love and Chan’s attitude toward love is deeply rooted in him. It can be a sensitive topic and bring out blind spots, parts of himself that he doesn’t really know or want to except. He may push his s/o away for bringing out these deeply rooted and emotionally triggering as well as intense things and shining a light on these aspects he dislikes and rejects about himself. He can live in denial of his longing for love and behavior in love as well as his desires, and be protective over these things. This can express itself in engagement with toxic endeavors and relationships. A build-up of jelousy, rage, vengeance and other negative qualities associated with especially Scorpio can come into play. He may be in denial of them and hardly even be able to access these parts, though I feel like in relationships, these qualities are prone to explode in his chart, as he is also likely to bottle anger up and avoid conflict. Maybe he has a hard time staying with somebody, though he is a devoted lover, because he can’t address the problems rooted within himself and rather projects them onto others in one-to-one relationships. Again, though, when he lets himself feel all these negative feelings, all the hurt and aggression, he can transform into a very powerful person and change who he is on a deeper level. These placements, which are tightly conjunct with love and relationships, point at the most vulnerable and scariest parts of him. Confronting scary parts and being brave is the key here!

His Venus interception, if not resolved, (though even when it’s resolved, it won’t forever be gone,) poses obstacles in love style and overall behavior in specifically romantic relationships. He may be shy and tapping into the unknown as he can be clumsy and confused in love. Like a boy loving for the first time, he will have issues expressing his love in a way he feels like is true to himself or feels comfortable. He has difficulty accessing Scorpio qualities and since his Venus lies in Scorpio, I can see him also bursting sometimes. As in, one day he’s more cold and holds back and on another day he showers his s/o with all the love. He can be very intense in love, especially on these days where he just can’t hold back anymore, where this intensity fizzes up.

I think he’d run into a lot of problems finding somebody who is right for him, but once he’s figured it out, he will be such a devoted partner with a passion to proactively work on the relationship and shared goals and desires. He will work hard for the relationship, just like he does for everything, because after all, that’s how he expresses himself with his Saturn singleton; through work and dedication. Love can be life-changing for him. But emotional highs and lows can occur as he “transitions” and continues to grow. It can often be a deep transformation that can feel like death and rebirth. This is the thing I’ve talked about earlier: he is self-destructive (and can also project these denied things about himself onto others) as he tries holding things associated to Mars, Pluto, the 7th house and Scorpio in his chart back/in. The interception being “unlocked” doesn’t make it disappear though — he’ll still be struggling with it and find it hard to address his emotions, establish routine or take care of himself as he gets lost in his passion and work-ethic.

Lastly, we cannot forget that the 5th house, the Sun, the Moon and the 2nd house usually play a big role concerning love in the birth chart as well. Most of these placements reflect how he knows himself and identifies with certain traits. All the previous things I’ve discussed are things hidden and deeply-rooted in his persona that he can have difficulties recognizing and coping with. So let’s jump into the parts of himself that he’s more comfortable with and more aware of, which also implies a more direct and conscious expression of the following aspects. As I already said referring to the first stages; he approaches romance in a flirty, gentle, fun and romantic way. He may enjoy going on dates a lot, meeting new people, being open-minded and generally gets along with most. He just has an easy time with romance in general as he possesses a natural way with words, though shyly, and a characteristic ability to attract many. It could be that he sees it as a priority to keep the romance alive, so he will keep arranging dates and such all throughout the relationship. Somebody with Libra placements or traits can make him feel special and admired, understood even. He can be a good advisor, great at giving compliments or a “therapist figure” to his partner, and is generally very giving. Good for him would be somebody who gives him validation, reminds him of his self-worth, respects his personal space and creates an environment of privacy and intimacy that’s in a way secret and visatable to only him and his s/o. Somebody who provides comfort, care and affection. (Something else would be conditional love. He could base love off of fairness and imply conditions, which both his Libra placements and his Neptune rx suggest, as Neptune can represent unconditional love and the “merging” of two souls. His Venus in the 6th can also suggest high expectations that hold him back from forgiving his partner’s mistakes and flaws as he could hold a grudge or hold these mistakes against his partner in future affairs.) He may also show his affection in a more practical way with gifts, acts of service and touch.

⇢ dates

I can see him being pretty spontaneous haha. Sagittarius is on the cusp of the 7th house and his Pluto and Mars, which are conjunct his 7th, are also in Sagittarius, so he may enjoy little trips into other cultures with his partner to relax a bit from work. Also, let’s not forget, he has his Sun and Mercury in his 5th and many personal Libra placements, he’s a big romantic. It’s how he knows himself, how he shows himself, how he communicates and how he feels. I thought I’d mention this part of his personality, because it’s the most straight-forward and commonly known “version” of Chan, even to himself. Since a partner tends to bring out 7th house qualities and motivate a person to be less their ascendant (the person they were motivated to be as a child or in their early lives) and more a “hidden” version of themselves (so in Chan’s case more bigger-picture-oriented or in favor of getting to know new cultures instead of only taking short road trips,...). So, here’s a little scenario in 1st person (just skip it if you’re not into flash fiction haha):

After 17 hours of flights and waiting, a hard-bedspring hotel mattress seemed a dream, but “the stars shine bright tonight,” Chan smiled

So instead of a douvet, a beach towel pressed against our backs

It had been 2 months, and though it was only an extended weekend, I was gonna spend every second enjoying him and Montpellier.

“I still hate that I forgot my dress.”

“You look better in my jacket anyway.”

The waning moon painted the sea, shone in his eyes

“Can’t have a cute French guy steal my baby.” Sweater paws covered his dimples, but his eyes told in the way they winged up

“Never.”

The Scorpio and Pluto conjunction is coming through🤭

Taper candle lit and polyester napkin folded into a lotus, we sipped on the nicest sounding wine the menu offered.

He laughed with gold in the eyes, an Italian-style suit and curls on his forehead.

“I’ll get whatever they do.” He tilted his head as shadows traced his dimples. The waiter rose his brows.

“I’d like...uhm...Beu- Boeuf bouuu-” Letters morphed into each other, a strand fell.

“Boeuf Bourguignon. Oui, ready in a minute, madame, monsieur.” He left behind an onion smell.

When Chan reached for Ficelle slices, sleeves were loose on his suit.

“This garlic spread’s nice.”

“So nice, you’ve got to have it on your face?”

He covered his face with the sleeves as he wiped

And then some of the spread ends up on his sleeve lol

If life is a movie // Oh you’re the best part.

11:23pm

D-Major vibrated off his acoustic guitar, and his voice accompanied mine through the last chorus

The mattress was softer than expected and his voice fuzzier than I’d remembered.

Love me, won’t you “ever leave me”

Guitar on the bedside table, his arms enclosed me. Nowhere else would I have rather been. (Lol sorry for being cheesy)

Also can we just appreciate his TALENT for a second like this man gives me goosebumps with that tone and his stunning vocal stability☁️💗

Additional small thought; I think with his Sun conjunct his Mercury in the 5th, he isn’t only good at communication, thinks a lot and is proud of it, but also probably talks to himself haha

Feel free to lmk your own thoughts on this post as well as other aspects concerning his chart, let’s chat!💫

//I also want to add that, yes, without the possibility of him using his birth chart to his advantage and making his “demons” a controlled part of him that he turns for the better, he does have a very difficult love life focused on business and unhealthy power dynamics in which he would most likely be the one seeking control, considering his libra placements as well as the significance of Saturn in his birth chart suggesting that he feels the constant need to conform to societal norms for self-esteem reasons and others talked about above like the Saturn retrograde.//

[thequeenofsastiel]

Don't Say No Episode 8

Well that was intense. On multiple levels. I guess I'll start from the top.

Fiat's mother unsettled me from the first time I saw her smile. I've always felt like you can tell a lot about a person from the way they smile. In one of my jobs knowing how to read people is very important, and I learned to read intent through smiles. Her smile was...it's difficult to explain. I just felt uneasy. And the way she spoke about his father and the way she cried when they were in that coffee shop(here I'm going to get personal) reminded me a lot of my own mother. My mother was possessive, manipulative, and determined to make sure I hated my father(the irony is that he's the one I still speak to while I haven't spoken to her in over half a decade). She used tears as a weapon. It's not that she didn't feel the emotions behind them, but the words she used with those tears were designed to make me do the things she wanted me to do. Hate the people she wanted me to hate. Even if that person was me. Fiat's mom is doing the exact same thing, and it made my skin crawl. It didn't surprise me at all to see her abusing him in that extended flashback. And while I perhaps see the necessity of showing us that, I did feel like it didn't need to be that long. Though admittedly I found the whole thing rather triggering so my perception may be skewed here.

It was absolutely gut wrenching to discover the truth of why Fiat thought he got kicked out. First did an excellent job at showing the horror Fiat was feeling in that moment. I've had situations(though less extreme) in which I discovered that I'd hurt someone and either hadn't registered it or had forgotten about it, and it's an awful feeling. Fiat's spent so long hating his stepmother and half sister, so learning one of the biggest reasons his little sister hated him so much, and being confronted with the fact that Fay had never told him about it or attacked him for it, not only made him feel like an awful person, but it completely upended emotions that he'd carried around for years. It challenged his entire view of reality.

I feel so much for Fiat this episode. He had to discover that he'd hurt someone whom he'd hated but who it turned out hadn't actually done anything wrong, and also that the person he'd deified in his memories had abused him. His head is spinning.

His dad is still a dick, though. Even though it turns out he wasn't actually trying to kick Fiat out when Fiat was a child, he still verbally abuses Fiat every time we see them together so, you know, fuck him.

Other observations:

I like that Leo allowed Fiat to take comfort with him sexually. The sex negative cultures many of us are trapped in tend to view sex as acceptable in very limited circumstances. In all the other shows and movies I've seen, if one character was experiencing extreme emotional stress and tried to sleep with someone else to deal with it, the other character either nobly stopped it, or went along with it and was either doing a bad thing or making a mistake by doing so. But here, Fiat was in emotional pain, and Leo comforting him sexually wasn't presented as a bad thing. Which I think is great, because sex can be very healing, especially with someone you're in love with. Obviously sex isn't always the answer when someone is hurting, but it can be. I don't think it entirely fixed what was happening with Fiat, but I think he needed it, and I appreciate that Leo understood that and didn't push him away.

This moment of gentle comfort was so moving to me. All of the leofiat scenes in this episode were deeply moving.

Regarding Pob and Leon, I think that two scenes must have been mixed up. We see Pob find Pobjer and think there's something wrong with her(though maybe he's just confused because she looks relaxed for once in his presence), and frantically calls up Leon, but in the next scene with him and Leon they're acting like nothing's wrong. There's no mention of Pobjer at all. That doesn't make any sense. Switch those two scenes and it does.

You know, I realize that it's probably too late in the series to start a romance between them, but really, I think that they should get their own series. I would watch the hell out of a GL show about them.

Okay, I've refrained from asking this because I love her so much, but how the hell is she the coach? She's a student. She called Pob P', so it's not even like she's a senior. How is she the coach of a college basketball team? Is she a brilliant basketball player or something? I feel like this is something that deserves an explanation we haven't gotten.

Overall, a moving episode with a completely unexpected revelation. This show really keeps me on my toes. I love it.

9/10

[werebiyourside]

Hello blog readers! I wanted to start off this little study blog by briefly going over some of the things I'll be diving into here. 

As this blog will mainly be about exposing you all to research on the subject of "Biphobia", "Bi-Erasure", and "Bi-Invisibility" in both media and in society, I wanted to post this flier (with references to most of the articles I will reference here) explaining what these terms mean for everyone's understanding. All of these researchers’ definitions and / or exposure of these terms take into account how muddled the perception of the bi community is.

“Biphobia”, as explored by both Pennasilico in “The invisi_les”, and Morrison et. al in “Challenging binaries by saying good bi”, is described plainly by the latter as “The internalized or outward disdain for their orientation” (2016, pp.361-377). We will explore how both of their studies were created through lack of similar studies for the bi community, ranging from this perception on bisexuals and how it can change, to how negative views on the bi community affects the health of bisexuals and biromantics. In general, however, both of these researchers examine how society’s view on the bi community and identity can both greatly affect these people, and create a feedback loop throughout society at large.

“Bi-Erasure” and “Bi-Invisibility”, by proxy, are both the results of and can be the catalyst for biphobia. Examined through all of these research articles listed, there is a slight difference in definition for each word. Pennasilico focuses on bi-invisibility as the thought process of bisexuality not existing, or writing of bisexuality as an orientation that doesn’t exist (2019), while the other listed researchers - Corey (2017), de Barros (2020), and Marcus (2015) - general identify bi-erasure as the act of taking bisexuality out of LGBT+ conversations, or ignoring the aspect of bisexuality and/or it’s positive representations. The difference here is the thought process on the bi community - whether bisexuality even exists and discounting it, versus making bisexuality an outlier in the overall community and crediting positive representations as something else not warranted. Most of these latter researchers focus on this erasure in media throughout the years, which we will also touch on in another blog.

My last research to bring up, that also isn’t listed in this flier, is “Straddling (In)Visibility” by Sasha Cocarla, a doctoral dissertation into examining the representation of bisexual women in twenty-first century popular culture. I had referenced this in two brief tiktoks I made - link found in header, though one had gotten flagged for unknown guideline violations - but it truly deserves a spotlight for the amount of detail and care that was put into it. From explaining the history on representation of bisexuality, to delving into so many other shows and movies outside of her two main focuses, Cocarla goes into such vivid detail that everyone deserves to read.

I honestly hope you read all of these articles on your own, or at the very least do your own research into these kinds of topics and find your own research journals and articles to share with the world. Truth is, so much about how all of this affects the bi community has been drowned out by other activities in the LGBT+ community and by society at large. But I hope my articles are able to shed a bit of light onto the plight the bi community faces, and that they aren’t alone in trying to get respect and love. We’re Bi Your Side.