#even though my overall perception is not THAT negative

[rmbunnie]

Immensely goofy how Tim Drake was explicitly intended to be/written with the purpose of being a much more likable and palatable Robin than Jason and then right out the gate in A Lonely Place of Dying we get the twofer of him going "WHOA really you mean it was the totally respectable guy openly trying to buy out the circus and praying on its downfall who was sabotaging it, NOT the employee spiraling over the prospect of losing his job who Dick explicitly told me it wasn't? Anyone would've guessed it was that clown chump, you're an awesome detective Dick!" and the infamous (to me) "If one cop gets taken out it doesn't matter because the police system is so expansive and unstoppable that it's become a faceless symbol more than a group of individuals, and that's what justice is. We need to be like THEM as heroes :D" Like I think overall he's decent enough but did they even try with that introduction? In what way was this the best shot at likable?

[auren-zagarra]

Hello! I've been trying to see if your requests are open, if it isn't please ignore this and I apologize.

First I just want to say that I appreciate your disclaimers on every post on your character analysis as someone struggling with my mental health and is seeking irl professional assistance.

That being said, may I please kindly request for a character analysis on Cater Diamond?

Thank you very much!

Cater Diamond: A Psychological Analysis

Disclaimer: Although this post is written by a professional psychologist, it is not intended to serve as a formal diagnosis. Rather, it is a character analysis of Cater Diamond, created out of personal interest and passion for world-building. In psychological practice, accurate assessment should never be based solely on external observation.

Author Notes: Aw, I’m so glad to hear you’re seeking professional help, Anon! I truly hope your overall well-being improves - struggling with mental health can have such a deeply negative impact on daily life. Everyone deserves access to therapy and the fact that you’re taking that step is genuinely amazing. Please keep staying strong - I’m rooting for you! Also, ignore this post is quite huge... I love Cater so much and this is basically a reformulated analysis - I had the base content already because he is my fav. <3

Cater Diamond is a third-year student of Heartslabyul Dorm. His profile describes him as “casual and carefree”, an “expert room-reader” and mediator between others, always abreast of the latest trends and deeply engaged in social media. In the narrative, Cater often plays the role of a social connector and peacemaker. Even when faced with potential conflict (such as when classmates challenged the dorm leader Riddle), he responds with pragmatic concern: “Did they even try to think this through? I'll just pray this doesn't end up causing more trouble”. This illustrates Cater’s tendency to de-escalate or avoid confrontation. Thematically, Cater functions as a bridge-builder and mood-lightener. Though a playful attitude pervades his scenes, his narrative role is that of the affable socialite: he lubricates group dynamics, diffuses tension, and embodies the “cool” connector in the Heartslabyul clique.

Personality Analysis

Cater’s behavior aligns with several established personality models. In the Big Five (Five-Factor) model, he scores very high on Extraversion – he is outgoing, social, and gains energy from interactions (at least, that’s what he shows on the surface… In his Personal Story from the SSR Halloween card, he hints that maintaining his cheerful persona is exhausting - and there are several other moments where he reveals just how tiring it truly is.). He loves parties and group events, and can be a bit of an attention-seeker in social media settings (e.g. taking pictures for clicks), all typical of a high-Extraversion individual. His Openness is also high: he eagerly embraces new experiences and frequently tries new cafés and trends. He is curious and perceptive (the wiki notes he’s “very perceptive with great communication skills”) - for example, he understands and applies knowledge of others’ backgrounds - as he did with Leona during his R School Uniform personal story.

In terms of Agreeableness, Cater is generally warm and cooperative: he empathizes with people and despite being manipulative, he seems also very forgiven in the surface. He tends to defuse conflict rather than escalate it. These traits suggest above-average agreeableness. Conversely, his Conscientiousness appears lower: he often avoids academic effort and seeks the easy route on assignments, enjoying life’s pleasures instead of discipline - shown again in the R card, during the moment when Cater admits he only tried to host a party for Rosaria because he wanted her to give him the answers of a history test. Finally, his Neuroticism is moderate to low outwardly – he rarely panics and maintains a relaxed façade. However, private moments hint at underlying anxiety or sadness (discussed below), so he may internally rate moderately on neuroticism.

Coping Mechanisms and Behavior Under Stress

When under stress or emotional strain, Cater tends to avoid direct confrontation and use humor or social engagement as coping. For instance, during the challenge between Riddle and Ace (Book 1, episode 21), Cater responds not with anger but concern for group harmony. He steps back rather than escalating the conflict, demonstrating a conflict-avoidant stance. This suggests Cater may have an avoidant coping style: he backs off from arguments and focuses on prevention of conflict.

Cater also frequently uses intellectualization and rationalization to handle emotional issues. In his Halloween story, he reflects on his friendship patterns: “If I left, they remained there. That’s why I’d rather have a casual and happy time with everyone than deepen a friendship”. This quote shows him rationalizing emotional detachment as logical self-preservation. By framing his avoidance of deep bonds as a deliberate choice, he shields himself from the pain of goodbyes. This cognitive reframing is a classic defense mechanism: by analyzing his loneliness philosophically, he buffers the sting of relationships ending.

Another coping strategy is sublimation. Rather than dwelling on his own sadness, Cater channels his emotions into positive actions for others - even when most of his good actions are actually orientended towards his own benefit. He sublimates any personal loneliness into external creativity. He also uses social media (Magicam) as an emotional outlet. In the Halloween story he proudly says, “Magicam is the best! People from my school from three years ago contacted me out of the blue… My social circle is expanding”. Here he transforms the pain of permanent farewells into a more controlled form of connection: staying in touch online. This is both an emotion-focused coping (maintaining connections to ease solitude) and a distraction (focusing on online popularity rather than past losses).

On a behavioral level, Cater often makes light of discomfort with humor. When discussing his secret dislike of sweets in his Birthday Boy card, he turns it into a joke and a social gambit: instead of eating desserts, he says he’ll have Yuu eat them and just post photos. This evasion of direct discomfort (force-feeding by family) shows he copes by deflection. During emotional moments, Cater rarely cries or shows visible distress; instead, he laughs things off or cracks jokes. This suggests a defense mechanism of humor and cheerfulness to mask pain.

In sum, Cater’s coping mechanisms are largely avoidant and adaptive: he avoids conflict, rationalizes his detachment, and distracts himself with social activity. Psychological models would classify these as avoidance, rationalization, sublimation, and use of humor. While these strategies prevent immediate pain, they also underscore that Cater might suppress his deeper emotions rather than fully process them.

Family Background: Dynamics with His Sisters

Canon reveals that Cater grew up with two older sisters who essentially ran the household. The sisters are described as unreasonable bosses who constantly scrutinized and controlled him. For example, they insisted he redo things until they deemed them cute enough. One personal story describes young Cater’s excitement at a household sweets binge, only for his sisters to fill his plate until he was sick, leaving him “the worst at dealing” with their disappointed faces. He admits he kept forcing himself to eat desserts to avoid hurting them, and as a result can’t stand any kind of dessert now.

This family dynamic likely had deep psychological effects on Cater. His sisters’ domination taught him that asserting his own preferences would disappoint them, which may have ingrained a conflict-averse attitude and difficulty saying no - a pattern seen in how he copes with others. Yet they also clearly cared for him, celebrating his birthdays with over-the-top gifts (dolls, perfumes, etc.) until they learned his tastes. The net result is a mix of affection and frustration. Psychologically, one could say Cater developed a form of passive-aggressive compliance: he outwardly obeyed (eating the sweets) to avoid family discord, but inwardly resented the coercion (now despising sweets). This may have sown early seeds of anxiety about pleasing others and contributed to his later use of avoidance as a coping strategy.

Additionally, his father’s banking career forced the entire family to relocate globally every two years. This constant upheaval meant Cater never had a stable home or long-term peer group. The wiki notes he hadn’t had any long-lasting friends because of this and that he considers himself “a pro at quickly packing things”. Psychologically, growing up rootless can foster attachment difficulties. In Cater’s case, the combination of moving and domineering siblings may have made his home life feel chaotic and restrictive. Indeed, during winter breaks the canon says Cater preferred to stay with friend Trey’s family rather than return to his own, indicating a desire for emotional respite from his home environment. Overall, the family context - frequent moves, an overbearing figure (the sisters), and high expectations - likely pressured Cater into pleasing roles and difficulty with intimacy.

No Bonds? Social Attachments and Their Absence

Despite his friendly façade, Cater’s background underscores an absence of deep friendships. Moving constantly, he never settled anywhere long enough to form lasting bonds. In essence, Cater admits he maintained only superficial relationships to avoid future heartache. This coping strategy - keeping things casual - means he seemingly has no true intimate friends.

In interactions, Cater often flits among peers but rarely reveals deep emotions to them. There is also a statement that he “can’t relate” to homesickness because his sisters would be waiting at home that implies an emotional distance even from his own family (sadly, I cannot remember the font, but I think it was his Halloween SSR). Psychologically, this pattern suggests an avoidant attachment style: he values independence and social fun but shies away from closeness. Cater’s lack of enduring bonds is therefore significant: it reinforces a self-protective isolation, where he stays superficially friendly yet emotionally insulated. As the Halloween story explicitly reasons, “the more precious a relationship is, the more lonely it becomes” - a philosophy Cater seems to live by, avoiding deep ties to prevent the ultimate loneliness of loss.

This absence of close attachments also has consequences. For one, it might leave Cater feeling fundamentally lonely despite always being surrounded by peers. And indeed, hints of underlying loneliness surface in his personal reflections. From a psychological standpoint, lacking close relationships can increase vulnerability to mood problems, and it suggests Cater may rely on imagined or future connections (like online friends) to fill the gap. He explicitly turns to Magicam (social media) to stay connected across distance, but those are broad, shallow ties. Ultimately, Cater’s profile paints him as a social butterfly who nevertheless “didn’t have any long-lasting friends”. This dissonance - popular yet alone - is key to understanding his inner life.

A Deeper Look into Depression and Mood

Although Cater usually appears cheerful, canon provides subtle hints of melancholy and introspection, suggesting possible depressive undercurrents. In particular, his personal Halloween story includes a striking line: “However, I think the more precious a relation is, the more lonely it becomes… Why does it feel that way? I have lived a long life but the reason is still unknown to me". This confession reveals genuine sadness and existential questioning. He observes that deep relationships paradoxically lead to loneliness - a poignant, somewhat pessimistic insight. Expressing this thought implies he has felt loneliness intensely in relation to someone he cared about (possibly friends from whom he parted) and that it troubles him. 

Outside this scene, Cater does not scream depression outright. He laughs, jokes, and even uses slang and memes, which suggests a positive façade. On the Big Five axis of Neuroticism, he doesn’t exhibit overt anxiety or mood swings in the story scenes (often he’s calm and composed). However, the Halloween quote shows he experiences internal sadness, which likely bumps up his personal neuroticism score. In psychological terms, he may have a sublimated dysphoria: outwardly stable but inwardly questioning relationships. It’s also interesting to note that Cater’s mandrake in his Labwear card appeared quite gloomy - likely reflecting his own suppressed sadness - and in his Ceremonial Robes card, he comes across as rather apathetic by the end of the story.

Comparing to DSM-5, Cater does not meet criteria for major depressive episodes (there’s no evidence of prolonged deep depression, suicidal ideation, or severe functional impairment). However, one might notice elements of a milder, persistent mood disturbance. The quote above resembles what we might call dysthymic thinking: a chronic sense of emptiness about relationships. He also sometimes seems fatigued by feelings (joking about being “already up” or accepting things). His humorous replies to serious questions might be a mask for underlying low mood. We should also note how quickly Cater moves on after rejections; this resilience could either mean he genuinely is unaffected or that he is suppressing hurt. The story gives room to interpret that he does feel pain, but buries it under a breezy personality.

In short, Cater’s canon behavior includes just enough evidence to suggest he experiences loneliness or mild depression, but it is largely hidden. His spontaneous wit and social life keep overt symptoms at bay. The psychological significance is that he might exemplify a “smiling mask” – a vibrant exterior that conceals a more troubled interior. His case underscores that cheerful behavior does not preclude inner sadness.

Possible Diagnoses

His chronic avoidance of deep relationships and introspective loneliness hint at features of Persistent Depressive Disorder (dysthymia): a long-term low mood and feelings of emptiness, without meeting full criteria for major depression. The hallmark of persistent depressive disorder is feeling down or hopeless for most of the day, for many days, across years. Cater often sounds weary of relationships and struggles with the idea of closeness. However, he does not display persistent fatigue, hopelessness, or dramatic mood swings in canon stories, so this would be a mild form.

Alternatively, aspects of Adjustment Disorder might be relevant. His background of frequent moves could cause chronic stress when forming new relationships, leading to anxiety and mood symptoms. He consciously adjusts by avoiding bonds (adaptive in his view) - an adaptive coping that suggests he made peace with change.

He may also exhibit signs consistent with Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD), particularly when examining his deep-seated need for attention, his emotionally performative behavior and his avoidance of authentic, vulnerable connections. HPD is characterized by a pervasive pattern of excessive emotionality and attention-seeking behavior. Symptoms include discomfort when not the center of attention, rapidly shifting and shallow emotions, exaggerated expression of emotions and consistently using appearance or charm to gain approval.

Cater’s intense preoccupation with Magicam and social trends, coupled with his fear of becoming irrelevant reflects this need to remain in the spotlight. Despite his bubbly, extroverted demeanor, he deliberately avoids forming real bonds with others - often deflecting with humor or superficiality when things get serious. This emotional distancing aligns with HPD’s tendency toward relationships that are more theatrical than intimate. He is also quite flirty - as exemplified in the Japanese edition of Vil’s School Uniform card, in which he talks about taking him on a date - and straight up manipulative. The emotional performativity, fear of abandonment, and chronic reliance on external validation point toward a possible, subclinical expression of Histrionic Personality Disorder.

[sevenop]

Billie Eilish x Fem!reader: Can you open up the door?

A/n: she takes you to her home, lovingly sheltering you from the heavy downpour so rare in LA. Takes you, and it seems, your love and all the inner contradictions along with fears caused by the public.

Inspired by the atmosphere of "CHIHIRO".

You know perfectly well that arguing with Eilish's decisions is a losing proposition, not in all cases, but in the vast majority of them. Your clothes are soaked to the skin, and the wind, though not quite cold but assertive, hints that all this will leave a mark on your immunity in the near future. Only as long as you can hear her voice on the other line, you don't care at all, frankly. You clench your chilled fingers a little tighter and hold the phone closer to your ear, because the rain noise makes it hard to hear her.

"You don't even know where I am right now."

"I know and I'm on my way to Amir's Garden to pick you up," she says uncompromisingly, and you realize Billie is really serious when you hear the click of a seatbelt and the noise of an engine in the background. Fucking hell! A puzzle quickly forms in your head: surely Finneas must have told her everything, knowing your plans. You think, you're need to talk a little less about yourself.

"Wow, what a commanding tone, Ms. O'Connell," - your pathetic attempt at defensive irony is immediately shot down by her chuckle, but you don't want to end this game. - "Do you like to lead?"

"Do you still doubt it?" - the slight hoarseness in her voice awakens a short-term flash of current in the back of your head, dispersing a pack of goosebumps on your hands and speeding up your heartbeat. You almost exhale deeply into the tube, but you pulls yourself back in time - it's too ambiguous a gesture, she shouldn't know. Not now. There is a slight mutual silence on the wire and you are content with the barely perceptible rustle of wheels, bringing thoughts and feelings into relative order.

"Just don't go anywhere, okay?"

"I was waiting in the garden, contemplating, beg your pardon," - you smirk softly, humming the now so appropriate line.

"It's not fair to mock me with my own songs, girl."

"Leave me at least something, Eilish," - you smile, imagining her childishly sly expression frozen in imaginary offense.

You drop the call and lean your back against the trunk of a tree with a spreading crown. Well, all that's left is to wait.

×××

"Damn, you're all wet!"

"Can we be a little less blatant, Billie?" - you plop down into the passenger seat next to her, slipping your seatbelt on in one motion until it clicks into place. It's impossible to wipe the smirk off your face after this joke. Naturally, you lost in your verbal altercation and Eilish arrived as she wanted, but no one forbade you to get even at the expense of lewd jokes, right?

"Shut up, you know what I meant," - Billie snorts amusedly, blue eyes sweeping over you from head to toe. - "I just want to help you, my underdog and... I missed you."

You meet her eyes and sparks shoot up in the back of your head again, like multi-colored fireworks, and the cog of anxiety that has been a regular in your head lately starts to slowly spin, revealing before your eyes the endless lines of negative comments you've read today. What bad timing.

"Is something wrong?" - and you're not even surprised. Billie reads people like an open book, her incredible talent that you sometimes get a little jealous of.

"A little later, Bils, I promise," - the gray highlights merge with the infinite blue of her irises - understanding mixed with worry. You gently touch her hand resting calmly on the gearbox and deftly interlock your fingers, creating an overall perfect puzzle. The feel of her skin makes you feel so warm inside. - "I missed you too, love."

Eilish blurs into a smile, clinging to the last word, which is new to both of you, and your heart does a somersault. You've only been dating for a week and you need to get used to this. Going from being friends to lovers is a strange but pleasant thing.

"Shall we go?"

"You don't deserve her!", "Another affair, pfft...", "Disgusting!" - The cog speeds up, causing your single nervous exhalation to shatter the silence of the cabin as if you had shotgunned the roof above you two.

Her lips touch your knuckles on the palm still closed with her, saving you from the captivity of the stinging words of Internet strangers. The sound of rain rhythmically drumming on the body of the Dodge suddenly fills your ears. She seems to know everything.

"Please, can I stay with you?" you look at Eilish as if she were a prayer altar: blue eyes reflecting your deep hope mixed with fatigue and helplessness. Warm smile of her beautiful lips is your impulse to confessional.

"I wasn't going to let you go, silly."

×××

You reach her house in silence: no unnecessary questions and jokes, just the sound of a non-stop downpour. Billie is completely focused on the road, and with your finger you are already drawing the eighth heart on the fogged window, like amulets from voracious thoughts. Dodge smoothly pulls into the parking lot, and you don't really remember how you find yourself in her bedroom, sitting lost on a huge bed.

"Hey, my girl," - the back of her palm touches your cheek incredibly softly, causing you to immediately stare at her. Eilish is kneeling in front of you, in her arms a warm red sweater with two white stripes in it, and her eyes are pure silver steel. It's not clear if she's mirroring the frowning sky looming outside the huge panoramic bedroom window, or if anxiety is stirring so strongly within her, crowding out all the peaceful blue of her irises. - "Put it on, I don't want you to get sick."

"It's from the CHIHIRO shoot, right?" - you take off your wet T-shirt and folding it accurately, as if won't throw it in the wash. Billie pulls the sweater over you, nodding affirmatively. The gray steel of her eyes doesn't open from you for a second. - "I've never seen 'Spirited Away'. It's silly, but as a kid I was always scared about those pigs and turned off the TV right away, and over time I just plain forgot I wanted to watch it to the end."

"Do you want to watch it together?" - her hands touch your waist, gently stroking your sides as if supporting you through the touch. If you were in a different frame of mind, you'd let go of a million jokes. The domineering Eilish kneeling in front of you is quite a display.

"I don't think the person who wrote an entire song about this anime would be interested," her palms calculatingly slowly slide off your waist to obligingly offer you warm house shorts. - "You've probably reviewed it back to back."

"With a girl like that, looking so mind-blowing in my sweater, I'm ready to look at least a thousand more times," - she moves a little closer to your face, lifting herself slightly on the arms on either side of your hips. Her lips, where you instantly shifted your gaze to, now have the hottest smirk you've ever seen in your entire life. You feel the flame of embarrassment flicker across your cheeks. Billie bites her lower lip and you immediately look at the top of her head, out of harm's way. For the first time, you notice that she's a little wet herself, running out of the car with you.

"Only if you wear a sweater too so you don't get sick, O'Connell." - you kiss her gently on the forehead, because kissing on the lips is still embarrassing. She agrees.

×××

"Haku, you know, my mom told me... I don't remember much myself. When I was little, I fell into a river once. Now the river's been filled in. They built houses there. But I just remembered! I remembered what it was called." - You watch the little girl fly on the dragon under the moon itself, holding onto its horns, and suddenly you feel Еilish's hands pull you closer into her arms. You only rest your head on her shoulder, relaxing completely and covering your eyes for a second against the coziness around you. - "It was called - Amber River. Kohakugawa. Your real name is Kohakugawa."

"I know everything, y/n. I know they write everything," Billie whispers softly, scorching your ear with hot breathing. You immediately jump up, open your eyes abruptly, and stare at her with an understanding and frightened look, echoing exactly the emotion of Kohakugawa himself. - "Hey, hey, hey! Relax, baby, I'm right here."

Billie deftly grabs the remote and pauses the footage with a barely audible click of a button, and your anxiety cog is spinning in your head again, winding up your sanity at an insanely fast pace. Again a shroud of avatars with mostly pictures of her, again a cluster of venomous the letters, "You don't deserve her!", "She's probably with her out of pity.", "Billie has everything but taste in girls." Click, click, click! You put your hands on your head like you're covering your ears. O'Connell reaches her hands toward you, and you leap out of bed in one strong and sharp, the word of a bucket of boiling water being splashed on you. It becomes so damn hard to breathe. The steel in her eyes, even in the semi-darkness of the room is intense and red-hot to the extreme.

"Y/n..."

"They're all right, Billie! I don't deserve you! I'm such a fucking coward!"

You grab desperately at the collar of your sweater, the word that imaginary lump in your throat is about to cause asphyxiation if you don't. Your hands shake uncontrollably, your gaze darting from side to side, clinging to the huge plasma, to the chair, to the corners of the sheets hanging from the bed, but returning to her each time. You see her slowly rise from the bed. You see it, and you immediately run to the stairs without even thinking about it. The cog clicks wildly, drowning out even the sound of footsteps that immediately overtake you. Your hands cling to the railing as you twisted your ankle on a hurried descent. Close your teeth tightly against the waves of acute pain and run, run, run!

But you realize you can't, leaning back powerlessly against the wall, already near the door. You can't because it hurts too much to run, and you can't because you love her too much. Billie pushes you against the wall even tighter in a second, looming over you like a hurricane. Arms spread on either side of you. You're trapped. Her breath hitches a little, scorching your neck, but her face shows nothing like anger, only seriousness and concern. She stares at you so intently that you think the wall behind you is about to crack and fall to dust.

Confident, yet lost in words, she finds nothing better than her own lines

"Open up the door, can you open up the door?" - she touches both palms to your face and you feel for the first time how much they shaking, - "I know you said before you can't cope with any more..."

"That's my favorite line from your song," - you flap your nose, realizing you really can't take it anymore.

"I know."

And you cry, shamelessly and right in front of her. You feel the salty, clear paths from your eyes dripping down her arms, see the worried silver in her eyes change to their usual tantalizing ghostly blue. You feel her clutch you in hers tightly, sliding down the wall with you. You hiss at the pain in your ankle and she shudders fearfully, fingers touching your chin and lifting your head. Your gazes meet and you see the weeping oceans opposite, so bright against the pinkish whites. She is crying along with you.

"Did you fall? God, y/n, we have to...," - her pleasant husky voice twitches with worry and tears, and you cover her neat, plump lips with yours, silencing her. She responds immediately, biting your lower lip lightly in a silent plea for more. You obediently open your mouth, immediately meeting her tongue. You feel the salt from your tears and the heat in your heart. True, and much lower, too.

"I'm scared, Billie," - you say honestly, palms resting on her collarbones. The cog in your head immediately fall with a clatter, crack in two. - "I said I wouldn't be afraid of some strangers' opinions, but it turned out not to be like that at all. I seem to be hated now, even for just breathing."

"I understand, my heart," - Billie put her arm around you, her hands stroking your back. From your shoulder blades to your tailbone, over and over again. - "But I chose you, not any of them, remember. You are my conscious choice. You are my love."

You hear her reply, finally finding the reassurance you need. "You are my conscious choice." The storm of words subsides as you standing this phrase on a shelf in your head like a trophy. The wreckage of the cogwheel of worry dissolves altogether, disappearing into infinity.

Eilish catches your smile and kisses you immediately. Your hands cling at her neck, and she moans gutturally as she gets what she wants. But she pulls away immediately:

"We need to take care of your ankle first, dumbass. I'll dial the number of a docotra I know."

"And then?" - you ask so childishly naive as Billie helps you gently stand up and you walk leisurely toward the couch in her living room.

"And then we'll watch this anime and I'll take back every kiss you owe me when I've been gentlemanly patient." - She sits you down on the soft couch, plopping down next to you. With her hand, she immediately pulls out her cell phone from the pocket of her home shorts. - " To make sure you heard exactly what I said."

"Thank you. For everything."

And later you do make out to one of Hayao Miyazaki's great masterpieces, just as she promised.

[4dkellysworld]

hii how is your "journey " going? i would like the hear about your practice

Hey, I think it's going great! I feel really quite pleased with the present moment. Hmm in terms of practice, I prefer to see it as a way of being/living rather than practice as practice often comes with the view of being the doer practicing and often there's expectations of outcomes/results attached to it (although I had to start these off viewing it as a practice first until it became natural).

These are some of the things I do my best to practice/embody every moment of every day (not everything all at once but based on what feels right for each moment but overall they're things that I practice):

Being present and aware in the here and now without identifying as the doer

During moments where resistance/negativity/limitation come up and it can be a lot, I just allow myself to be still and let everything be. Then I do some sort of variant of this "exercise" I described in the second half of the response based on what feels right and appropriate in the moment

Always being aware of my state of being/consciousness and making it a priority to "manage" it (which includes 1. investigating and dropping any thoughts of limitation, lack or negativity that come up from daily life and recognizing that it is not me 2. choosing to see/feel/know what I prefer to see/feel/know myself, others and the world regardless of appearances and not allowing myself to feel limited to what is perceived by the senses including my own thoughts and perceptions of 'the past'. So for me, my preference is seeing these in everything: freedom, harmony, peace, love, kindness, abundance, wholeness, fulfillment. All that good stuff. I've dropped most attachments/desires of wanting those feelings to be fulfilled externally through symbols and I enjoy just being in the state of being with those essences)

Being patient, accepting, understanding, compassionate, non-judgmental and loving of myself as well as others (which includes seeing "others" as just different forms of myself). This also means allowing everything to be as it is in the world with acceptance and without caring to change it or feeling bothered by it. If I feel bothered by something, I recognize that it's a reflection of my own consciousness and if it feels right, I'll do what I mentioned in the above point to drop whatever underlying thoughts of limitation there are. Then I continue to see what I prefer without feeling the need to physically do anything about it. If I feel spontaneously inspired to do something, I'll take action though

Challenging myself to do things that I feel resistant, averse, fearful and/or limited in order to "break out of the matrix" (which is just the mind's own limiting programming lol). E.g. feel afraid of offending/hurting someone just by speaking up so you don't want to speak your truth even though you really do want to? Do it anyway cos unless you do something about those limiting beliefs/programs, they'll keep directing your life until you do - you get to decide when that stops. Recognize you can still act with love and speak your truth with tact.

Not labelling/defining/judging anything including my own thoughts, feelings as well as how things are or how things happen. If I do, I catch myself then let go of the labels/definitions/judgments.

Choosing to be free from expectations and focusing on being present and enjoying it

Minimizing my consumption of information and being discerning & mindful of what I do. Neither believing nor disbelieving anything I read or hear (including my own thoughts that pop up!), recognizing it's all subjective and I can choose to change my mind about anything whenever I want.

Trusting my Self above all and "doing" what feels right for each moment by allowing Self to lead the way

Things that naturally happened so far as a result of practicing (I won't talk about any manifestations but more the inner changes):

Peace! Lightness of being. It's amazing. The more you drop, the lighter and more spacious you feel. Just keep dropping everything :D

Acceptance, connection and love for my Self. When I started, there was a lot of judging myself and comparing myself to other people's experiences and progress (it's just all ego trying its best to do what it thinks is right) but now I'm just allowing and loving my own experience and presence, happy to just be and trusting that all is well. I don't see anyone as better than the other, ultimately we are all One.

My capacity to give, feel, be and accept love. It feels like several lifetimes ago now when I think back to the time before I started, I don't even identify with that person anymore but she used to feel a lot of lack when it came to love and seeing love in the world used to trigger her a lot, especially with jealousy but now I love seeing love in the world, like yes this is the world I prefer, where everyone is loving and kind to each other.

No longer feeling like I need to fit into other people's experiences on this path in order to feel validated as having 'progressed' enough. No longer feeling inferior (or superior!) to others. Being patient with myself (and others!) and accepting everything is perfect as it is, everyone's 'journey' is going to look a bit different and there's no one-size-fits-all in terms of approach or experiences.

Being "kind" and more selfless - old pre-ND Kelly was a bit of a people pleaser and liked to do kind things to be perceived as kind and nice but now I just do things just because and then when people say 'oh that's so kind of you!' I'm like oh really? Never thought that, all I did was consider things from their shoes and wanted them to benefit too. I guess being seen as 'kind' naturally happens when you see everyone as yourself, you want everyone to be well and happy (I guess also cos I stopped labelling and defining things in general)

Greater imperturbability and stillness within - there are things that would have really bothered past Kelly that genuinely now don't affect me mentally/emotionally in any way and when I recognize that, there's a bit of a 'hey that's cool'. That's real freedom and peace, to not be affected by externals and being able to remain centred in your own beingness.

I'm more 'forgiving' and I can let go of things a lot quicker and a lot more easily (in comparison to the past) even with things that can feel quite difficult

A naturally quiet and still mind!! I used to not like meditation but now it's the greatest thing.

Less and less thoughts and feelings of negativity, lack and limitation. More and more joy, love, gratitude, open spaciousness, peace and freedom.

Don't feel the desire or need to argue with other people, I don't need to prove myself in any way, they can think what they want.

I don't know if it's a downside (lol) but many of the things that past Kelly enjoyed for entertainment are no longer enjoyable to me. E.g. like reading about celebs, watching shows that don't have any deep messages or spirituality in them, even like tarot readings used to be for fun and nothing serious but they're not even fun anymore. Oh well lol

It's easier to observe things more objectively when thoughts come up and recognize them as limitations rather than spiral into a loop and get caught up in identifying with the narrative or thought train

It's possible I missed some things but that's all I can think of atm. I didn't focus on results and then reverse engineer what sort of practices I needed to have in order to get there, it was more picking what felt right for me then just doing them from the heart with sincerity and then changes happened on their own. I guess it's like when someone starts eating healthier and exercises out of enjoyment rather than focused on weight loss, they may eventually find they suddenly have a slimmer and healthier body, it was kinda like that when you enjoy the present moment. Like one day I just found the changes had happened and it feels like it's a daily thing where in a way, every moment of every day "you" (the concept/identity/ego, not the true changeless you) are dying and being reborn with every choice you make, every thought you choose to accept or let go of - it's all in the mind. Every moment is a new moment and you don't have to be limited to what you perceive as 'the past'.

But ultimately, I don't think of taking credit for any changes that happened to me. I feel like it was initiated by sincerity but the changes happened on their own because I got ego out of the way (through those practices) and allowed Self to shine through. (This is a realization I just had now while writing all this so thank you for asking! I don't really reflect much on my 'progress' so this has been nice lol)

[getsuuna]

ok so here's my complaint of the day!

I wrote this during the moment I felt like complaining and I was sleepy so it MIGHT be a little dramatic 😇

every time I'm devouring a SaneGiyuu fic because I like its plot for a while, here goes a smut scene that never fails to make me sigh and mayhaps roll my eyes

most of the times I know I'll get icked but decide to read because "what if it's not that bad",, then it's almost always the same shit over and over: Sanemi topping, bonus points if there's even just slight roughness (yikes😬...), Giyuu being loud and being described in degrading terms [and basically none of this was told beforehand in tags nor notes, almost as if it was the "normal" perception of SaneGiyuu for most people...??? shut UP??😃]

respectfully, it's ass.

I'm tired, these tropes are overused and fucking inaccurate dare I say, unless there's a reason in the fanfic's AU specifically but I still find it to be too common and weird. if you want a somewhat accurate SaneGiyuu pay gorn (/hj /ref) it must be them switching AND being romantic. where the FUCK is the romance,, the last one I've read now wasn't that bad because it still mentioned adoration, kisses and love overall, but there's almost always something that icks me even just in the few fics I've read so far, and it makes my reading experience sm slower and uncomfortable afterwards even if I initially loved the fic

now, as I've stated multiple times, I hate the "rough daddy dom Sanemi" and "submissive twink Giyuu" headcanons with every single inch of my entire being in&out including my whole soul /drm,,, and not just in sex scenes but in their overall dynamic, it's so enraging I don't care if someone disagrees I'd just stare and judge??😭😭😭my main purpose when I complain abt this stuff is to look for other people with my same mindset (thank GOD I saw lots of them so far though)

the disrespect, and the fetishization of queer couples in which one "has to look/act more like the opposite gender" and inevitably the one who has more apparent feminine traits has to be the sub, bc they associate femininity with submissiveness. heteronormativity and borderline patriarchy-inducted stereotypes?? woah./neg

let Sanemi receive, it won't make him any less of a man nor threaten his masculinity I promise🥺 same goes for Giyuu if he was actually written like the manly strong man and SOLDIER he fucking is? I still wouldn't really really prefer it but I would respect the preference in that case.. heated arguments about who tops or bottoms are inherently fetishizing and stupid, however if I see a (weird) pattern I'm gonna hate it sorry not sorry😭🙏🏻

also please if someone can recommend SaneGiyuu fics with NO smut or actually well written sex scenes with them preferably switching (it's the only actual realistic trope and I stand by this fact) I'll be thankful, and I'm taking the occasion to also recommend "You And Me, Alone Together" by Katz3 (yes there's also occasional sex scenes and yes they're perfect in every possible way, the whole fic is!! I have yet to find a better fic and I know I won't, despite it being underrated); or maybe if you have fic recs in which Giyuu exclusively tops if there's NSFW scenes, out of nothing but pure spite, I would be thankful as well🥰

one last thing bc I usually get heavily misinterpreted whenever I complain abt anything: I'm NOT saying "GiyuSane is better" (even if that's what *I* personally think, due to how I interpret their writing and how I headcanon their relationship dynamic which has nothing much different from most, I just don't twinkify/overly-feminize/infantilize Giyuu nor I over-sexualize/booktok-fy Sanemi), I'm just saying it's more realistic if they switched: it's more accurate, more inclusive, less mischaracterizing, less stereotyped and therefore less heteronormative and less fetishizing...

and about the degrading and roughness and all that I mentioned, I just despise it. for every ship and every trope, whether m/f, f/f or m/m. it takes romance away imo and I won't be sugarcoating it with "oh but it's consensual so it's fine" nor negotiating it in order not to piss off the people who like this kind of content; I'm sorry, keep your preferences, but I won't be shutting the fuck up if I have to read it every goddamn time I naively think there's normal and loving sex scenes. put tags to warn readers who don't wanna read that shit so they can skip it if they still gave the fic a shot, please🙏🏻

[melonae]

my little opinion on elliott coming from a more self-perspective

I very, VERY believe that Elliott is someone who’s not only unwillingly a recluse but also STRONGLY neurodivergent. As someone who is ALSO neurodivergent and relates to him he feels so deeply passionate about what he does and seems to have a sort of spintrest in literature overall.

I feel like he has some sort of rejection dysphoria too. But that’s just my personal headcanon! Besides the point, I’ve always seen him entirely like, genuine and without any ill-intent. Sure he might act a little pretentious and/or “too much”, FIRST OFF, not everyone/bachelor is going to be. Perfect as much as corny the argument sounds, SECOND OFF, I feel like he has a hard time recognizing the room (again, a trait of neurodivergency even I have.. again.) and moreover, and even though this IS a common argument, he lives in a shed. He says I’m a line of dialogue that not only is he afraid of growing old and lonely, but also he apologizes for being too foward because he was so excited to have the farmer as a close friend.

At best he probably hasn’t interacted with many people for a YEAR, and growing up on romance and other types of literature can make you have a different perception on reality sometimes, which can effect social situations too, at least.. again from.. my experience.

Aaaanyways I am TIRED of people calling Elliott a weirdo. You have every right to dislike him but also, the amount of negative misunderstanding surrounding him makes me a little frustrated sometimes. Desperately, I will defend him to earth’s end.

[crguang]

omg I’ve been wondering what ptn was…after reading it was a game it caught my attention. I’ve never heard of it before but seems interestinggg, I’d love to know more abt it from someone (you) who def knows more of it. should i download it 👀

THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS YES. to anyone reading this that havent yet tried out path to nowhere, download it and thank me later. it's for the sapphics, trust me... you won't find better writing wise, art wise, creative wise like im totally biased but i jus tlove games with such extensive worldbuilding that its super easy to create ocs or stories within the game, no matter how dark they may be, and have them fit perfectly with the overall vibe of the game. it's a gold mine for ppl who love making ocs (like me), there are just so many possibilities!!!!!! it's amazing.

onto the game itself though, the premise is basically that you, as a player, wake up as the 13th Chief of an organization called the minos bureau of crisis control (MBCC) which serves as a jail for people called Sinners, who have obtained special abilities through mania corruption. the concept may sound abstract but like i mentioned in another ask, you can just see "mania" as a tangible sickness that draws on humans' negative emotions and it's super deadly (and can be found anywhere) so there are quite a few organizations whose purpose is to fight against it. so as the chief, you have the very unique power of being able to control Sinners through "the shackles", whose origins are hinted at and further explained as you progress through the story. Discity (the capital of this world if you will) is a place full of elitism, corruption, social inequities, discrimination, gang violence--- its a whole mess. Sinners are kinda seen as sub-humans and are ostracized by society, treated as violent freaks who others should be scared, and the chief basically changes that prejudiced perception that most people have on Sinners by seeing past these stereotypes and giving them a safe place to live in should they need one. it's a long process but it's part of what makes chief such a great character, they have so much personality that pretty much everyone sees them as their own character and not a self-insert atp. im rambling sorry fksfbk but i swear the writing is so good. the story handles heavy themes yet the do it delicately and in a way that feels so satisfying at the end. i think they conclude heir characters' arcs really well so you're not often left wanting when it comes to characterization/character development. im typing this on my laptop so i dont have access to my photo gallery rn, but if you want me to post some of y favorites CGs to show how ptn's art style looks like in game, just ask !!! i have quite a few in my camera roll

ptn's a tower of defense game, it's not turn based and it takes some time to get used to all the different mechanics. the combat is a core mechanic though, you cant progress through the story chapters without fighting at least one battle (some chapters have no battles but most do), so i would say to be a little patient on that front. i swear it gets fun once you have the hang of it. personally i find the drop rate for Sinners really good even if it seems like 180 hypercubes for one pull is a lot, the probability overall of getting a S-rank is higher than like hyv games so its less discouraging. building characters can take some time and can be a pain in the ass but it's so worth it when you start clearing levels easily...

i dont really know how to present this game without repeating myself lol, if yall have specific questions im always happy to answer them but tldr is always gonna be: DOWNLOAD THE GAMEEEEEEEE

[traincat]

Ms. Cat, Ms. Cat! You've talked about how great the Waid and Hickman runs are before, so I wanted to ask: what are some things about these runs that you didn't like? Is there anything you would've added, dropped, and/or rewritten, if you were magically granted the ability to do so?

Ooh okay NEGATIVITY. my actual favorite. and I can do it off the top of my head! (I found the 2018 copy of my refs folder, but not the hard drive I know has a 2022 copy.)

So I have talked a lot about what those runs do right, and I think Waid especially is a really good beginner run, like, if you want to start reading Fantastic Four comics, his run is as close to a perfect modern starting point as we have. (I was talking to someone recently and the conversation segued at one point into how, for a lot of comics, there's no such thing as The Place Where You Start Reading, you kind of just have to hop in.) Hickman... is not an ideal starting point, but if you want to read an interesting, coherent Fantastic Four story that's plot heavy, the first half of his run is excellent for that. (Note I said first half. I'll come back to that.) As opposed to, say, Claremont's run, which is completely incoherent in terms of plot but has the best character work in probably any Fantastic Four run ever. Just don't pick it up if you want the story to, you know. Make sense.

Waid's run -- I would never say Waid's run is perfect, although I do think it's good, which is sort of all you can ask for a lot of the time. The beginning of it definitely falls victim to what I kind of privately call the Johnny Effect: I think a lot of writers have trouble writing Johnny at the start, whether because they don't entirely understand his character or because they're less interested in him than the other three. I literally have a rule where I'll give a new Fantastic Four run like, seven or so issues for the writer to settle into writing Johnny, because a lot of people will fall back on these very shallow perceptions of him, namely that he's irresponsible. (I also think Hickman fell victim to this a little bit at the start of his run, although like with most Johnny Effect cases I'll let it go because both Waid and Hickman wrote incredible Johnny-focused stories that absolutely nailed everything about the character. Whatever Happened to Johnny Storm? and Storm Rising are two of my top Johnny story picks, so they do both get him. It just takes some time sometimes.) Waid's not that bad about it, and he did attempt to spin what I think are traits Johnny doesn't really possess (the playboy nature, the emotional immaturity) into a character arc that does have some good payoff, but if you compare Johnny at the beginning of his run to Johnny in, say, Claremont's run, there's a big difference in terms of characterization. I also don't think Waid is anywhere near the top ten Doom writers -- he goes too hard into utterly cartoon villainy. (Waid's run is, after all, the origin of the Childhood Love Skin Armor of infamy.) His Doom lacks the nuance of Hickman's take, or even the iron willed commitment of Miller's. (I will say whatever I want about the rest of that run but Doom getting eaten by a prehistoric shark and then pulling himself back together atom by atom out of sheer spite is just so fundamentally Doom.) So his characterization can be shaky. He can also pull out really strong moments! I think his depiction of Johnny and Reed's respective grief over Ben is really powerful stuff, although I don't like, love the "journey to heaven" arc. (God is Jack Kirby is pretty funny, though.) If anything, I think it's the juxtaposition of the really strong moments that make the weaker characterization more obvious. I think the Doom characterization is probably my biggest criticism of Waid's run, overall. (I also didn't like his recent Invisible Woman miniseries like, at all. I thought it was boring! Sorry! I wanted to like it!)

Now Hickman, I'm going to complain about. So Hickman's run comes immediately after Mark Miller's run, which I never recommend for the simple reason that it's not good. It's not a good run. Miller deserves his general reputation as one of those overly bro-y comic writers who mistakes sprinkling in sexism for hard hitting realism. Do I kind of want to reread the run right now? Yeah, sort of. Despite it being Not Good, I think there's genuinely interesting stuff in it. Hickman spends the first few issues of his run utterly trampling on Miller's run, like, Godzilla on a miniature city style. It's a little amazing to watch, honestly, like I admire the spirit of spite -- that's what I want to do to both Spencer and Wells' ASM runs -- but it has some intensely negative side effects, namely when it comes to Alyssa Moy.

Alyssa Moy is a character Claremont created back in his run -- she's Reed's old college friend/sometimes flame depending on what writer you ask (they kiss in greeting in Claremont's run, but it could be viewed as a friend thing -- and she's pretty blatantly romantically interested in Ben in Claremont's run), a super genius adventurer who can intellectually hold her own against Reed. In short, she's SUPER fun. Every other writer since Claremont, save for Peter David in Before the Fantastic Four: Reed Richards, has been really fucking weird about her. Whether it's making Sue jealous of her because she's so Intellectually Compatible with Reed (this is nowhere in Claremont's introductory run, where Sue and Alyssa get along really well -- Alyssa was LIVING with the F4 for a while) or having her comment on how she and Reed would have intellectually superior kids while she's married to The Most Boring Man Ever Created, Ted Castle (Miller's run). Hickman is NOT immune to being weird about Alyssa. Where Miller's run leaves Alyssa with her Boring Fucking Husband on Planet Future or whatever (it's dumb, it's a dumb plot), Hickman's opens by saying Alyssa is now... a brain in a jar. A talking brain in a jar on robot spider legs. And then she gets murdered like five pages later. But don't worry, because her Boring Fucking Husband creates a robot version of her, and everyone is fine with this and it's cool actually and we don't have to look too closely about the problematic elements of replacing an Asian woman with a robot version of her built by her freak tech guy husband. And then they blast off to space and have not been seen again. I would SO BADLY love to retcon everything that happened with Alyssa post-Claremont because she's such a fun character and the way she's been treated since in the main book is disgraceful. That's my top pick for what I would fix if I had unlimited editorial power: Alyssa Moy solo.

(Is Hickman great about the depiction of women within the sole context of his Fantastic Four run? I think his greatest triumph with any one female character is Valeria, where he took Miller's depiction -- of a super smart toddler -- and honed that characterization into what's now very solidly Val, with all of Reed's intelligence and a lack of his emotional comprehension, with her strong emotional bond with Doom, with her pragmatism. Can I say he did equally for any other female character, again, solely with the context of his F4 run? Not really.)

I'm not gonna address the renumbering/retitling issue with Hickman's run because I don't think it's fair to put that on the writer, but I do think it's detrimental to the run overall, considering how you need a GUIDE to figure out how to read it. I will say that I think Hickman's run falls off HARD after he wraps up the Negative Zone plotline. And I LOVE the Negative Zone plotline, I think it's really a crowning moment in Fantastic Four canon, but Hickman doesn't seem to know what to do with his run after that point. And I love the roommate issue, it's given the Spideytorch community so much, but I genuinely do think we would have been better served exploring Johnny's emotional state after his two year long death and resurrection cycle, and that was mostly left for other writers to deal with after the fact. Which is kind of the flipside of Hickman's greatest strength -- Hickman is just, like, utterly great at blowing stuff the fuck up. You cannot hand that man a fictional universe he wouldn't gleefully explode and it's great, I love that, I love watching him blow stuff up. I think he really gets into the destruction of fictional realities in a wonderful way that gives you lots to think about. But in the case of his F4 run, there's this weird period between wrapping up the Negative Zone plotline in his first Fantastic Four run and his other Fantastic Four comics (his New Avengers run and Secret Wars (2015) are Fantastic Four comics) where he doesn't quite seem to know what to do, emotionally, with the fallout of everything he set up. Which is disappointing! His depiction of grief in the wake of Johnny's death is so powerful, and I love the message about LOVE (what saves the Fantastic Four and by proxy the world? LOVE) in his FF runs, but he doesn't seem to know what to do with it in the in between issues. That being said, I think the last issue of his FF run, the one with Franklin, is just a triumph. It's hard to be overly negative about the pacing problems in the wake of that, but they are there and I do think they should be addressed.

[herrscherofmagic]

(spoiler-free discussion of HI3rd Part 2)

So I finally got to catch up w/ the previous chapter (moon shenanigans w/ Helia & Coralie) and dove right into HI3rd Part 2's release- and I've gotta say, I'm actually enjoying it quite a bit so far!

*Quick disclaimer, I'm playing with CN voices, and the voice acting of a character can really influence a person's perception of them, so keep that in mind

So far each of the main cast we've met so far has been fairly likeable. I was unsure what Sena was gonna be like but so far she fits in quite well. She's got the same bubbly personality as Ely and March, but she has neither the pushy-ness that Ely has nor the snark March has. So she's definitely reminiscent of both of them but still feels like her own person, and since we literally just met her there's gonna be plenty of time for her character to develop.

Also really enjoyed the interactions with Helia and Coralie, it's clear that they're not super besties like Kiana & Mei but they're certainly close as comrades and I'd like to see how their dynamic develops! I'm looking forward to new battlesuits for them someday and I really hope Mihoyo follows through on that idea. I'd love to see how their adventures in the Sea of Data shape their world-view as they're challenged by things that Schicksal's Valk training never could've prepared them for.

and Dreamseeker was quite nice, too! They're not a silent protag, though of course the quasi-self-insert thing does make it a bit more awkward than usual. But overall their presence doesn't really affect the story in a negative way so that's no concern at all, and they contribute to the team a fair bit in terms of both knowledge/wisdom as well as how they interact with other characters and move the conversation forward. They're not super bubbly nor are they cold, they're just ordinary in a charming way, if that makes sense?

and then Songque... ooooohhh lord she was a LOT more than I bargained for in so many ways. in a good way, I think? >.> either way, not gonna say much about her because I don't even know how to begin describing her. I just wasn't expecting her to be so... lively. Like, crazy energetic, in a very controlled-chaos sorta way.

Also in terms of worldbuilding/lore I think it's been handled quite well. It doesn't rely on obscure knowledge from Part 1, i.e. not technobabble-heavy, but if you're familiar with stuff like the workings of the Sea of Quanta then it's easy to see how things are working behind the scenes.

It's a super fascinating concept for a setting and I really like the juxtaposition of past/present as well as how the story seems to fully embrace the chaotic nature of the Sea of Quanta, giving us really strange and unusual sights and writing characters who are born into this strange reality and take it for granted.

Oh. and the new music. pretty good so far! it's nothing at the level of Genshin but that's a really high bar to pass anyways. For HI3rd's standards it's solid work and enjoyable enough to listen to while playing the story & fighting. I have a lot of other thoughts about HI3rd's music as a whole but that's a whoooole other story lol

so yeah. Part 2 released, and HI3rd didn't suddenly combust into flames and explode. So far so good, hard to say how it'll change going forward but there's not much of a point in worrying about that yet. My only regeret is I had to skip 2/3rds of the Fu Hua arc for this because of issues w/ my schedule and how busy I've been, but I think it was the right call cause I'm really looking forward to the new Part 2 story, both main story & side content!

[insomniac-101]

What do you think of those who think the doctor fell in love with Madame de Pompadour ? I see tons of people take this story for one of the greatest romances of Doctor Who and I just don't understand why ? I mean, the doctor has a casavona personality, partly because he modeled himself after the type of man he thought Rose would like. Most of her flirtations are also all blondes, like Rose. The episode follows when he realizes that one day Rose is going to die and that he loves her, as he agrees to take Mikey, Rose's current boyfriend on board ! The doctor is not in a relationship with Rose at the time, but clearly loves her and having accepted Mikey on board, must have tried to be a minimum of respect. Especially since good... me too if Madame de Pompadour in person had kissed me like that I wouldn't have said no, and probably flirt.. It's literally like meeting one of the celebrities you have a crush on !

Hello! First and foremost, thank you for the question!<3<3 I absolutely love seeing all these perspectives and I feel truly honored that you chose to ask me:)

That being said, the reason why that story interpretation is so popular is partly because the episode's writer, Steven Moffat, stated it was so (in the confidential I believe, though I could be misremembering). Thus with him being the main writer for the episode, people take it for what it is. 

I think it all comes down to personal interpretation/ how much agency one gives to the intention of the writer- so for that very reason, I don't really feel any sort of way towards people who feel otherwise (unless they use it to invalidate the importance of Rose as a character, in which case, I do get annoyed haha) because there is indeed a drastic difference in the way that both RTD and Moffat interpret the character of the Doctor. So I think this episode being so divisive, is kind of a testament to that drastic gap in interpretations that occur (which is an interesting conversation in itself, but i’ll save it for a later post lol).

My take, is much like yours- I don't think the Doctor ever fell for her in return. Funny enough, how charitable I am towards the overall story of this episode, in particular, tends to change depending on my mood but I think I've seen it enough times to come up with an interpretation of my own that I feel flows well with the overarching narrative of the RTD era. (Though I must preface this by saying I have not recently rewatched the episode, so from here on out, I'm going straight off what I remember lol)

What some people see as love, I see more as a tragedy. Yet another unfortunate situation for all those involved because the Doctor is yet again left to face the inevitability of loss– how his duty as the Doctor does not lend him the same leniency that other mortals seem to have with their decisions.

I always felt the Doctor’s motivations for fighting for Reinette’s approval stemmed more from a place of trying to stroke his own ego. With his low self-esteem, he tends to gravitate towards people who challenge the negative perception he has of himself. To have someone so pretty and important fawn over him is flattering, and the fact that she doesn’t know him deeply is even more tempting- as it almost guarantees the last impression she’ll have of him will be positive rather than negative.

But that's just it- he likes the attention, and it serves as a temporary distraction from what he has with Rose, who's currently showing Mickey around. Another person who was partially brought along for a similar reason, to kind of serve as a buffer until he’s inevitably forced to confront what has yet to be addressed between him and Rose.

With the Doctor insisting on saving her, without the context of knowing she will become a major figure in history, she confuses his interest as attraction and acts accordingly. His appeal is the mystery surrounding him- how he's this figure who's heroic and caring, and she grows a fondness for him but never the real him, just the image.

I find it interesting how terrified the Doctor looks when she enters his mind, for that very reason. I think his fear is partially driven by the sudden vulnerability she takes out of him unwillingly, and it’s her lack of reaction at his horror that kind of drives the reading that she doesn’t really see him as a person but a fantasy. Because here he is trying to help her, and she takes the chance to violate a boundary of his without stopping to consider how he might feel about it in return.

For this very reason, I always thought their pull towards one another was more out self-serving reasons rather than a genuine connection- because if one wishes to stake their love on that little interaction they have, there’s never anything after that suggests that they genuinely like one another. Moreso, the fantasy the other seems to satisfy for the other.

So when he sacrifices himself, it's more to quell the guilt of messing with her timeline than love itself. Because with having left an impression on her since childhood, he now has to take responsibility for feeding into the belief that his reason for saving her is a selfless one.

Even if it is unintentional ( according to Moffat’s personal input, at least) some moments in the episode seem to validate this reading (that what Reinette and the Doctor feel for one another is not really love), mainly through the inclusion of Rose and the way she is used in this episode.

When he's on the other side, for example, and they're drinking wine- he never seems as invested in Reinette as he was when she was just another historical figure he was showing off to. He seems sad, and almost regretful of his decision, and you see him longingly stare at the stars, which coincidentally mirrors that of Rose's own scene, where she too blankly stares upwards.

Though it's not stated, the framing of this particular moment does seem to suggest that they are thinking of one another. To me, it cements that the motive to save her was not really one motivated by the prospect of living with Reinette but more, because it was the only real way to remedy the situation. He’s there out of duty, not out of free will.

When she leads him to her room, he seems distracted- not at all invested in what's happening. It's depressing how neither seems entirely content with the situation because even Reinette notices this shift in behavior. It breaks the fantasy, and when she prods and he refuses to admit what is quite obvious, that realization pushes her to show him the gateway that still remains. Because, in a way, it was a test to see if he’d choose her, and evidently, his reaction is brutally honest and nor one she wants if her expression is anything to go by lol.

His lack of interest in living with her is no better exemplified by the way he lights up (a stark contrast from the prior sadness he was seeping in) when he realizes there's a way back, and he goes to the other side, not even considering how Reinette would feel about it. The genuine confusion when he sees her sad- he seems to realize how callous his relief must have been and tries to find a means of remedying it. His offering to take her to see the stars is more like an olive branch of sorts. Something to distract her from the undeniable truth that he will never stay. Because if he had the choice- the person he's chosen to spend his life with is not her, but Rose.

Being stuck, with no means back to Rose, is what heightens his insistence to keep her with him in the episodes that follow. Because being deprived of the one person he loves, even for a moment, seems to make him realize that Rose is simply not someone worth losing and so he stops running. Or rather, where he runs, will always be alongside her and though he never voices his feelings, he shows them in other ways. Ways that only Rose, the person who knows him best and loves even the most flawed facets of his being, understands.

When he reads the letter, I always felt the expression on his face was more likely that of guilt than love. He feels guilty for having wasted so many of her years. Of having had Reinette wait for him to fulfill a promise that could only do so much to make up for what was a delay of the inevitable, her death.

His reason to mourn her is most likely spurred on by the realization that he never really knew her, considering how he spent most of his time with Reinette showing off. It must be sobering, even horrifying, to realize that someone put so much faith in him, only for him to disappoint them. How in the grand scheme of things, their absence doesn't change anything because they were put aside just as easily as they were including. Putting into perspective just how something as simple as the desire to be validated, could often have devastating consequences on those around him. It restricts him further, hardening his resolve that he must deprive himself of his temptations for a human life out of fear and in turn, only further drives his natural cynicism.

I think the major reason why I don't really like looking at this particular trip as a love story is because I feel it lacks a lot of substance. There's not enough evidence to convince me that they were ever in love, especially when competing with the overarching plotline with Rose that stems back to series one. Instead, I find the episode is far more compelling when one views it as a character study- where we see the Doctor stripped of all his more favorable qualities and indulge in something so selfishly human- his ego, only for the episode to end so tragically as a reminder that he's ultimately not human and can't get away with such a simple temptation.

(also I wish to clarify that when I say ego, I don't mean it as a bad thing. I think one of ten's more human qualities is that he often struggles to choose between the selfless and selfish choice, and it is something that is partially responsible for what drives his eventual spiral we see happen later on. His need for validation is human, and it's all the more tragic, given just how removed he is from humanity. It adds to the loneliness of his existence, where he is left to pine over what he can never have even if he so desperately wants it- which if you know me, I love that haha)

Had the story been anything other than a love story, I feel like it would have been more interesting and would have removed the troubling implications behind certain aspects of their romance. My biggest grievance with the episode is partly due to that, how half-baked a lot of the characterization feels (because there are many moments where you can almost see Moffat intentionally or unintentionally challenge Reinette's faulty perception of the doctor, as if shedding the rose-tinted glasses, but he never follows through. Which personally, only goes to fuel my dislike for the episode as a whole because what I love about the RTD era as a whole is that the Doctor is portrayed as imperfect. He's not above being criticized for his actions, yet this episode seems to only go on to glorify him as this saint and I just don't think that fits with what we've seen of this era but I digress), but I also think that’s why I partially enjoy talking about it. The beauty of fiction is that we can make do with certain aspects of a piece of media we like, and mold it to what we see as more fitting to the story. I may disagree with the notion that they were in love, because to me they never were, but I can make sense of them in other ways.

Hopefully that answers your question<3

[cosmicjoke]

What specific disabilities and medical problems do you think Levi experiences after the final battle? I find it astonishing he was able to survive at all, given how wounded he seemed initially after the thunder spear explosion and then how he aggravated those injuries and suffered new ones after the Battle of Heaven and Earth

Well, I'm no medical expert, so I can only give my very ill-informed impression of what I think Levi is dealing with, lol. But I think anyone can at least safely assume he's dealing with a lot.

Just obviously, his leg is clearly permanently damaged. Specifically, I think it's probably a problem with his knee, since that's apparently where the titan got a hold of him. The titan probably bit near clean through his leg, I'm guessing. It might have only been the metal harness from his ODM gear which managed to keep him from losing it entirely. I imagine he might have lost all of the cartilage in his knee, and probably also suffered severe breakage of the bones around that area. The bones were probably shattered, to be honest. All this would have only have been made worse by his continuing to fight afterward. I don't think Levi is paralyzed in any way, but he's probably suffering from pretty severe joint and knee pain, at the least, which probably has lead to all kinds of other issues. I imagine it's had a negative impact on his lower back and hips, for example. So Levi's need for a wheelchair, I think, probably comes from the fact that he's just in chronic pain, and can't be on his feet for very long anymore. It probably causes him a very large amount of discomfort to have to walk for any, real distance, though I assume he CAN still walk, albeit with a no doubt pronounced limp. It's probably just very hard for him, and so using the wheelchair is simply easier and better for his health overall.

As for Levi's other medical problems, well, we know he's lost the use of his right eye, leaving him blind on that side, which no doubt has a big effect on his depth perception and general awareness. I imagine that's got to be something that's really hard for Levi to get used to, not being able to tell when someone is coming up on him from the right. The close proximity he had to the thunderspear explosion probably also affected his hearing, though I'm not so sure about that one being permanent. But losing full sight in his right eye is going to make it more difficult for him to gauge where things are in relation to himself. That kind of thing can cause you to walk into doors or walls, or I imagine knocking things over that you're reaching for, etc...

I also know Levi suffered some pretty severe internal bleeding, and we can assume from that, that he suffered either severely lacerated or even ruptured organs. He no doubt required intensive surgery after all was said and done. That kind of physical trauma can't ever be fully recovered from, I don't think. It's probably had a big impact on his day to day life. I wouldn't be surprised if Levi needs to have regular doctor appointments just to make sure nothing is going wrong inside. That, on top of his disability, probably requires him to be extra careful with his body. He probably doesn't want to be taking any big falls or tumbles, for example. I think the physical trauma he's been through has probably left his body somewhat fragile.

And then there's his missing fingers, which no doubt had a very big impact on him. We don't realize how much we rely on our digits until we can no longer use them. Levi lost the middle and index fingers on his right hand, which is his dominant hand, I assume, so that would make things like writing and holding any sort of utensil or instrument much more difficult. It would make dressing and undressing more difficult (as would his bad leg). Even just turning pages in a book, or newspaper, would be much harder. Tying shoes, anything that requires minute precision with ones hands, etc... it would all just be harder for him. And again, that would be something that would be really difficult to get used to, no doubt.

I'm sure all of this had a terrible psychological impact on Levi too, especially when one considers that, for most of his life, he's been a physically superior person, stronger, faster, more coordinated, more athletic, than anyone. So to suddenly be faced with a life in which he can't do the things he once did with ease, to actually now be facing a life in which menial tasks which are easy for everyone else, are now daunting in their difficulty for him, must have been incredibly hard to adjust to and accept. I have no doubt Levi DID accept and adjust though, and didn't let it get him down or stop him from living a good and full life after the war, and I have no doubt either that Levi would do it all again if it meant he could saves lives. But there would have been a lot of adjustment, and no doubt there were days which were harder than others.

[enyoalkis]

“In a rotten, blood-soaked island kingdom, cursed by plague and riven by religious unrest, there was once a queen by the name of Katherine Parr. She was the 6th wife of an angry and ailing king.”

FINALLY THIS MOVIE IS OUT! I've been wanting to see Firebrand for a while but now me and Reina just watched it together!

Review

Firstly, the costumes are GORGEOUS. Although I was taken aback by the ending, I genuinely enjoyed the movie (maybe an unpopular opinion despite the historical inaccuracies?) It’s a different from all the other Tudor dramas I’ve seen. As my first impression from the trailer initially thought, it definitely has the horror thriller vibe that really does show how you have to be very careful treading through Henry VIII's court.

Alicia Vikander is a great Katherine Parr: beautiful and looks like someone at the same age as the real Katherine when she married Henry. I enjoyed seeing her religious ambitions and political role as regent, along with her friendship with Anne Askew (I'm not sure if they were ever friends irl but it's nice to see genuine friendship in Tudor dramas). Definitely the best Katherine Parr portrayal I've seen.

But I especially really like how the camera often pans to a young Elizabeth I as a major background observer to all the events as she definitely was very perceptive in real life. I heard the book the film was based off depicted Elizabeth much more negatively (ew?) but the movie doesn't. Katherine has a positive relationship with all her stepchildren in the film as she did in real life.

I do wonder if the film is intended to show both Katherine and Elizabeth's POVs of Henry because his personality is very explicitly monstrous and more violent. I was actually genuinely terrified of him while watching, and Jude Law really is unrecognizable in his role there. I did like though how the film shows his children, even young Edward, being scared of their father because I can imagine you would be after hearing all the crazy shit he's done and pulled throughout his reign.

I don't have much issues with the movie, but I didn't like how young Mary I is portrayed as just... being there? She doesn't have as much of a speaking role as Elizabeth, and her personality came off as bland. Edward did have more moments in the movie but just him being a kid.

Overall, I think this film is mostly worth a watch.

[cartoonemotion]

hiii. after watching class of 3000 what character interactions do u think would be most fun to explore. I almost typed explode

YAAAAY this is such a good question !!!!!! honestly as an ensemble cast i feel like class of 3000 overall balances itself and its cast interactions out pretty well (lil d, eddie, and philly phil maybe get some more extra centric episodes in my opinion though. granted it makes sense for lil d since there was an interview where andre said that the character was supposed to in some way kind of be based off him as a kid/his experiences in school)

ALL THAT TO BE SAID !!

pretty much tamika and anybody else. being fully transparent, this is bias cuz tamika is arguably one of my faves of the show and while she does actually get moments to shine i feel like shes just a liiiittle underutilized. when they start using her to set up gags about eddie being clearly infatuated with her instead of that being more of a consistent background detail it starts really negatively effecting the writing of both characters imo. she and madison have some charming bits and that episode where theyre paired up together but i would have also loved to see more of a dynamic between her and kim !! kim's very artistic and expressive and wants to be something of a trendsetter but is obviously (for very reasonable 12 year old reasons, i think) invested in still being apart of the "in" crowd and other people's perception of her, and i think that mirror's tamika's whole thing of being cool and tough but being afraid that that image might be compromised if she lets more of her softer side come through (her collecting dolls, baking cookies with her goofball dad, and actually really enjoying very mushy displays of affection for example) rather nicely ! plus their instruments (turn tables, misc percussive instruments and the harp) would go nicely together imo

I ALSO THINK tamkia and lil d would be fun to explore !!!!!! they kind of start off strong in the beginning of the first season but theres less of it as the show goes on which is a shame ! its funny to watch them squabble almost like siblings but its very clear that they still like and care about each other-- i mean in one episode where tamika goes to hang out with some other girls lil d laments that he misses her threatening him and when she shoves him he exclaims "we missed you tamika !!!" very earnestly !!! it would be nice to explore tamika's side of that yknow !!!

maybe the writers thought philly phil and madison were too similar since theyre both kind of eccentric goofballs to have them paired up more often but i think they could play off each other really nicely ! after all madison is supposed to be more of a ditzy but friendly hippie type and philly phil's mostly just socially inept and kind of clumsy, i think you could find a lot of comedy potential balancing that

i also think philly phil and kam could have gotten more screen time as a duo, seeing as they have the whole geek and nerd dichotomy going on. kam is more of a skeptic whereas philly phil seems to be more willing to believe in things like aliens and santa claus and unicorns even though hes a "man of science", i think it was a real missed opportunity to not have him and kam maybe get into friendly arguments about it or something, or maybe realize they have converging interests (like kam's belief/enthusiasm for bigfoot)

i like lil d and eddie's friendship ! it read to me like eddie was the closest to lil d out of everyone in the group, and i say that even without taking "eddie's money" into consideration (even though thats a great showcase i feel like as to what im talking about !) like everytime lil d needs to pay for something and hes just like "its whatever eddie's got it" eddie just does with very little to no complaint, idk !!! i just like em. plus i think they illustrate again some of the stuff andre was talking about in his goal of exploring the culture of atlanta and his own experiences there since lil d and eddie come from bankhead and buckhead respectively, and him (andre 3000 i mean) mentioning that he went to school on the other side of town with a whole bunch of ppl including the mayor's kids lol

i just love sunny's little individual mentor moments with the kids in general !!!!!! obviously he and lil d are big one and kind of the show's highlight for obvious reasons, but i also really love the one on one moments he gets with kim, which happen way more often than i initially expected !!! i would have loved to see him sort of guide and mentor again tamika a bit more too again to possibly help her reconcile both elements of her identity as both a no-nonsense butt-kicker and somebody with more "childish" or "girly" interests. and also him and philly phil, just because i think. it would be zany. and good for hijinks.

[rin-and-jade]

Hi! I know DID and schizophrenia is very different, but I also know that even doctors could mix them up because of lack of knowledge/experience. I've been thinking that, how do one distinguish between psychotic delusion (particularly identity related) or just alter's identity?

I didn't tell anyone about how i am recognized as having schizophrenia from another diagnosed schizophrenic person, and still coming to terms whilst backing it with personal experiences and professional articles. Even if im reluctant to find a diagnosis for it due to taboo (in my country), i hope the amount of insight i have with schizophrenia and CDD's could help answer your question!

Um.. i mean if people are okay with that and won't harshly comment, i would love to answer more schizo questions from you guys <3 (just still a bit scared, i guess)

--

Hello! You're right about did and schizo being different, yet even doctors are still able to misdiagnose due to limited insight they interpret as from one's experience and symptoms,, and that's a mistake anyone can do too.

The difference you can tell is wether they're consistent or have a pattern!

A shift in identity within system context are more consistent, and have a repeating sign of changes (e.g. you often find yourself being aware of a protective or aggressive demeanor being around on more abusive situations) and they don't really "disappear" unless they went dormant.

An identity psychosis caused by schizophrenia is more abrupt and also inconsistent, usually lasting from a few minutes up to hours (or days if its severe) before returning normal. It also feels like you got dissected and replaced agaisnt your own will (the sense of identity) instead of feeling switched up (a system mechanism) as you sit behind the front seat, observing the world if you're able to be co-conscious.

The thing is, this deduction uses the most minimal information to determine an appropriate judgment,, and should not be relied on unless there's no other point of reference to evaluate the answer.

What's best done is taking account of that previous explanation and see the bigger picture--why you ask? Since CDD and schizophrenia, present similar alterations in identity/perception (externally speaking) even though they have very different mechanisms and associated symptoms (internally speaking). A psychosis always have signs, and a switch also always have signs, so these are your guidelines:

Signs of pre-psychosis:

Restlessness

Changes in mood or appetite

Accompanied by delusions or paranoia (which will grow into a full blown episode if left unchecked)

Sudden decrease in overall communication skills (stuttering, forgetting words, incoherent sentences)

May or may not experience internal or external auditory hallucinations, or alice in wonderland syndrome

Signs of pre-switch (alter-based personality shift):

Feeling a bit different after experiencing a trigger (positive or negative, songs or alter's favorite food or activity)

Experiencing blurriness

Feeling half you, and also half someone else before fully switching (if its not an abrupt one)

Catching subtle changes in demeanor, handwriting, speech styles, etc

May or may not be accompanied by confusion, or memory gaps, or a dissonance with reality (dissonance as in, the previous alter was at the kitchen and became aware it is now at a different room)

Not an exhaustive list but i try to make it as simple and straightforward as possible, making sure the highlights are explained for clarity and fast discernment.

I hope this helps! (And.. this is from personal experience and reading multiple sources, it might present differently for each person, so take this as a point of reference)

- c

[charaunderwood]

3, 4, and 5 for Vanitas! :D

ah of course, who else could it even be

for number 3, it's a bit complicated. I'm obviously always grateful to canon for establishing the character at all and I think that there are certainly a few moments, if meant to be read the way that I read them, that are amazing at executing on the characterization that I personally believe Vanitas should have. on the other hand, they still haven't really done much with Vanitas yet, so on the slim chance that he really does never come back after KH3 then my opinion here will become MUCH more negative. but if they do bring him back I can't wait to see his amazing potential get executed on.

for number 4, that's also a bit complicated. I really don't know how well of a perception I have of the "overall KH fandom" but I think what I've generally gathered is that most people who don't have Vanitas among their favorite characters tend to view him as an inherently evil character or something of the sort. now I'm not saying this interpretation is wrong because it's just left so up in the air and I'm generally pretty good at seeing others people's point of views and where they're coming from. but obviously I personally don't view him that way so it always makes me a bit sad when others do lmao. soooooo idk, a lot of the fandom don't share the same opinions as I do in how to interpret him but I'm generally not very bothered by that, so I'd say the fandom treats him fine enough.

and finally for number 5, it's another tough one!! Vanitas obviously steals the show for me in every scene he appears in just cause.....yknow. but I'd say the scene where he is just the best to watch on screen would probably be when he shows up at the land of departure in KH3, it's him in his peak gremlin mode and I love to see it. however I'd also give it to his KH3 death scene since I think it's the scene that gets the most at the core of his character, even though it's kinda vague in doing so. plus it's the scene that makes the cry the most in the entire series just for more sentimental reasons. so, I think I'd say that the LoD one is his best scene for the outer more shallow character traits of Vanitas, and the death scene is the best for getting more to the core of his character.

anway, thank you so much for the ask!! I once again yapped quite a lot and I probably didn't word things very well, but those are my answers :)))

[ravensvirginity]

Warning: Super long text, but I hope you don’t mind the long discussion on Raven.

So, I read your response to that anon talking about the Dick situation. I agree with you on many points, but I also have quite a few disagreements regarding her emotional intelligence and her feelings for Dick here.

I’ll start off by saying that I also interpret the dreams as unintentional, and Raven might not even know Dick shared those dreams with her. And it is true what you said about Raven having the experience of love of a 12-year-old girl - personally I think this Dick arc is actually just a glimpse into how Raven’s trauma has deeply ruined her as a person, and now she is gradually picking up the pieces.

Now, to the disagreement I have with you, I have 3 points to make.

1) Raven is inexperienced in love, not immature

My first point is more nitpicking than a real argument, though. I just feel that “immature” is a strong word that implies Raven actually did something thoughtlessly and actively made a fool of herself when in reality she only allowed herself to fully embrace her feelings without doing anything about it. I mean, she only let herself love Dick without feeling guilty and allowed herself to desire for a requited love. As that anon remarked, Raven never made any moves, no one could tell what she was feeling, and Dick and Kory never felt like she was getting in between them. It shows Raven understood the boundaries and waited for Dick and Kory to solve their relationship before she gave herself any chances. She didn’t even go to Kory and confidently claimed that Dick now loved her - she understood that it was Dick’s business to tell her that (if it had been true). Only when Kory wanted to talk to her about it did she mention her belief and was open to friendly communication, and was ready to admit her wrongdoing without excuses regardless of it being intentional or not. That is so far from being immature. If anything, Raven is only inexperienced in love, thinking that romantic love between two people could go away so fast (and also inexperienced in differentiating her feelings from others’ now that she allowed herself to feel).

I would also like to point out that through this arc, we could see how Raven and Kory could be quite similar in terms of being very open-minded about feelings beyond humans’ social norms (once Raven allows herself to feel, of course). Raven wasn’t hesitant in embracing her love for Dick, wasn’t feeling guilty because she loved her friend’s boyfriend (but of course she would never interfere with their relationship), wouldn’t have negative perceptions about dating your friend’s ex, and wouldn’t take the moral blame if someone leaves someone else and gets with her. It’s quite akin to Kory’s Tamaranean belief that one can (romantically) love many people - for Raven, it’s her naivety thinking that feelings can just go away without strings attached.

2) Raven has little experience in emotional self-awareness and relationship management, but an overall high emotional intelligence

I feel like people often mistake being emotionally expressive and emotionally self-aware as being emotionally intelligent when emotional intelligence covers so many more aspects. I agree that Raven’s emotional self-awareness was underdeveloped, but her emotional intelligence was still high regarding how she understood and communicated with others about their feelings as well as how she never made impulsive, emotionally-driven decisions.

From the beginning (a.k.a when Trigon was first thought to be detained), she already understood clearly that she had to understand herself first before she tried being in a relationship with Wally - that is being immensely responsible and mature, not being impulsive with your emotional curiosity. Then, she showed great skill in helping people regulate their emotions and feelings with that runaway blond girl and that man who was holding a girl hostage in a bank (I’m sorry I don’t have the panels with me, but I’m sure you know who I’m talking about here) - this is not a skill you just conveniently have just because you have empathy, this takes actual emotional intelligence to analyze the mindset and choose suitable approach to reach the heart. That is not to mention the way she successfully made Dick resolve his inner conflict by taking him on a night field trip instead of just telling him what was the correct way to think and feel.

Lastly, her emotional intelligence is reflected in the way Raven always took into consideration what the others might feel when choosing her words - for example, Raven immediately stopped talking about Trigon when trying to console Joey who was also dealing with the issue of having “evil” father, realizing that it might take away the focus that should be on Joey and his problems. Another example is that Raven refrained from using the word “abandon” when confronting Arella after the Eric fiasco, refrained from expressing her true feelings because she understood how it might hurt Arella.

Those are the examples off the top of my head regarding Raven’s high emotional intelligence. Sorry I’m rambling, it just pisses me off a little bit whenever someone labels Raven as having little emotional intelligence when what she lacks is only experience in having emotions - you can check “what is emotional intelligence” from multiple sources and Raven would tick all the boxes of being emotionally intelligent except for maybe self-understanding, yet she is still labelled as having little emotional intelligence by many.

3) Raven’s feelings for Dick were somewhat romantic, not just purely platonic, and Raven knew that very well but just eventually got convinced otherwise

I’ll start by pointing out that you yourself used the analogy of a 12-year-old’s crush to talk about her feelings for him here - and a crush is by no means platonic. Similarly, Kory herself always referred to romantic love when talking with Dick about this issue. Not to mention, when influenced by Raven’s haywire empathy, Dick chose to kiss her passionately the way couples do and not just hug her tight or anything platonic. If Dick was feeling what Raven was feeling there, and Dick being the one with emotional self-awareness, he should have been able to distinguish the two and not (also) mix up the projected platonic feelings with his love for Kory. Therefore, I always read it as she did have somewhat romantic feelings for him, like that anon.

Now, regarding whether Raven was able to distinguish between platonic love and romantic love, I believe she did. Raven was very aware of the type of love she felt for the other Titans like Gar, Vic, and even used the semantics of “loving somebody like a sibling”. How could she confuse her platonic feelings with romantic feelings when she already had multiple experiences with platonic feelings? Even if, let’s say, Raven favored Dick over Gar and Vic, then it only makes sense if Dick was her best of best friend, because how else could you explain the overwhelming affection she had for Dick specifically - to the point she dreamed of kissing him. But then Raven already had that frame of reference for “best friend love” - Joey. Why didn’t Raven feel that way towards Joey when she had always been very fond of him over any other Titans (except for Wally, maybe)? Joey and Wally had always been the ones that “gave her special feelings” - those two should have been the frame of reference. She might have been 12, but not 5. I feel like Marv might have just taken the typical, lazy way out of “oh they actually only love each other like siblings” to not deal with failed romantic feelings.

Anyway, that’s all I have to say. I hope I haven’t annoyed you with my long ask! (I tried my best to make it look more readable)

I NEVER mind discussion about Raven dw!!

You're definitely right, emotional intelligence was the wrong word to describe what I meant. I meant more that Raven doesn't understand her own emotions, even though she can sense the emotions of others. Again, I feel like I just used the wrong word, because I definitely agree with everything you said about her being considerate about the emotions of other people.

This is more headcanon than canon, but I feel like Raven heavily relies on her powers to be able to tell what other people are feeling. Of course, she doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings and would do her best to compensate, but if you suddenly dropped her into a social situation without her empathic powers she'd flounder.

People are free to disagree with me here because I feel like there's evidence you could use for both sides, but I don't think Raven ever loved Wally. She cared about him as a friend but the romantic love was purely one sided. The same with Joey, really. She had a very close friendship with him and it's clear the writers were considering pairing them together, but it never actually happened.

There is some room for interpretation in the arc, but I do really believe what Kory says about Raven never really romantically loving Dick. It reminds me of my experiences as a lesbian with comphet. She wants to feel being in love because she wants to be normal, and she chooses who she thinks should be the best option. She convinces herself that she's infatuated and look at her, she's so normal! She's in love! And the joy of that love makes her ignore everything else. I don't think she has to be a lesbian to have this experience, it makes sense for it to come about due to how taboo she viewed all relationships before this point.

I don't think that Raven had any true experiences with platonic love before her rebirth. She grew up in an environment where most people felt at least some animosity towards her, without any peers her own age. Arella loved her, but she was separated from Raven until she was 10 and was never allowed to properly express any love to Raven (and even without Azar's orders, she probably still would've had difficulties with it). Trigon loved her, but in a terrible, horrifying way. As a teenager, the only real example of a 'romantic' relationship she had was her parents. She grows to care for the Titans, but she can't admit to herself that she feels love for them. Now that she can allow herself to be free, all this love is brand new to her.

With saying Raven is immature, I think that's just semantics, but I still think it's the right word. She is immature. She didn't go through the maturity process that most people go through regarding love during her teenage years. She's emotionally stunted and this is all brand new for her, and she does make a bit of a fool of herself. But her friends understand, and ultimately, that is the point of the story. Raven made stupid choices (some unintentional, some not) but her friends understand her and she understands them and they were all able to work it out and forgive each other.