#even though i doubt he would be the type to sing it like. AT ALL lmfao

[tmos-time]

23 and 29 for the music ask game :]?

23: a song that you think everybody should listen to

ohhhh there are lots and lots and lots and lots. if i HAVE to pick one i think right now i'll go with still by the cliks? had a desperate moment a while back in august where i was like "dear GOD i need to find trans men who sing different genres" and managed to stumble into this song lmao

29: a song that you remember form your childhood

ohhh you know what? originally i was going to say got to my head by WATERS, but i just remembered i can say robophobia by electric president; this song is one that i ONLY found because i found it by chance through flipnote hatena; i remember that it was the last 26 seconds of the song that was used, and the vague key movements the flipnote had in its little animation, but i cant remember the actual flipnote for the life of me tbh!

[bookiezzz]

Laios, Marcille, and Chilchuck with a reader who sings

authors’ note: not meant as a professional singer or idol, more like a freetime singer. it can be intrepreted any way though! also more romantic

Laios

— Laios is your #1 hype man

— Whether you’re embarrassed or not, he’ll come across you singing, waiting until you’re finished.

— Once you’re done, you’ll hear slow clapping from behind you, getting louder and faster.

— You slowly turn around and see Laios standing there, clapping.

— “WOOO!!! So good!! I didn’t know you sang!!! That’s amazing!!”

— He’ll hug you and ask you more.

— If you’ve ever performed, if you play instruments while singing, how long you’ve been singing, etc.

— If you’re embarrassed, thinking you’re not good enough, he will immediately dispel your doubts.

— You’re amazing, he loves it, he loves you, and he wants to hear more.

— If you sing softer songs, he’ll listen, maybe even tear up a bit, Laios thinks they’re beautiful.

— If you’re a rockstar or metalhead, maybe even with your own band, he’ll watch you sing and perform and still love it.

Marcille

— Again, Marcille comes across you, alone, singing softly to yourself.

— My girl would probably completely interrupt and just shout, “YOU SING?!?”

— “Why wouldn’t you tell me??”

— If you two have any “songs” about your relationship, Marcille would ask you to sing it.

— She seems like the type of person to ask you to lie down with her while she tries to sleep, be quiet for a few minutes while you stroke her hair, and then all-of-the-sudden asking, “can you sing me a song?”

— She will persist until you do so.

— Totally brags about you

— “Well MY PARTNER can sing! Ha!” With her arm around your shoulder

— If you’re singing a love song she’ll just stare straight at you, zoning out a bit, just staring at you.

— Marcille loves your singing.

Chilchuck

— Chilchuck stumbles across you singing, staying to listen before vanishing when it ends.

— Later, at any random point, he’ll just come out and say, “So, I didn’t know you could sing?”

— You’ll be totally shocked and surprised, asking when he heard you.

— He won’t answer of course, just insists you tell him about it.

— He’ll try not to act too impressed, but will let out a few silent “wow..”s when you tell him.

— Chilchuck tries to listen more often, and if you catch him, he’ll just shrug, blush and grin—hands behind his neck as he walks away.

— If you sing softer, more quiet songs, he’ll try to sit next to you and listen sometimes. It’s strangely calming for him, listening to you sing.

— If you’re in a band, or you rock, he’ll definitely watch. Chilchuck thinks that’s totally badass.

— He’d rather die than admit it, but he enjoys listening to you and your voice.

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

I really want the show to go into more detail about Husk's backstory as an overlord, partly because I feel like it's something the fandom is kinda glossing over and partly because it's lowkey one of the biggest obstacles that a Husk/Angel relationship would have into overcome.

'Loser Baby' emphasises the similarities between Angel and Husk's situations, but it also (probably deliberately, since Husk is the one leading it) brushes aside one of the most major differences between them.

Namely that when Husk tells Angel that he's not the only one who sold his soul, he's not just singing about himself.

Husk sold his soul to Alastor, yeah (or lost it at least, which amounts to the same thing), but he also traded in souls. He was that “psychopathic freak”, and was operating fro long enough to achieve Overlord status.

And, honestly? Having your soul owned by Husker back in the day probably sucked.

The one benefit of soul contracts for the person selling their soul is that they seem to get a fair amount of say in how the contract is written.

Angel's contract, for example, apparently has a clause stating that he's only under Valentino's jurisdiction when he's in the studio. (Which, btw, puts a whole other spin on why Val is so pissed when he moves out of studio accommodation and into the Hotel.) And Val is apparently bound to that. Even though he's pissed off and actively wants to put Angel in his place, he can't make any moves against him in the club.

Equally, since most overlords seem to be associated with a specific location/industry, you can generally choose who your working for and therefore roughly what kind of stuff you're gonna be doing.

In practice there seems to be a lot of manipulation and coercion going on on the part of the Overlords making these contracts— they're not fair by any means— but the sinners signing them are theoretically at least guaranteed the right to a (somewhat) informed choice and some control over the deals they make.

Having an Overlord who uses human souls to pay his gambling debts, however, completely undermines all that.

Imagine going into work for your job running the roulette games at the casino only to be told that the boss played a bad hand in a game with Valentino, and so you're a sex worker now.

Or being traded to someone who has you fighting turf wars for them, and realising that your contract doesn't have any clauses to protect your personal safety because you only signed up to be a bartender.

Or selling your soul for a job near your home and family so you can guarantee their protection, only to be traded to someone whose territory is on the other side of the pentagram.

Husk is a victim of his own addiction, yeah, which is one of the reasons why Angel relates to him. But his backstory implies that there must be a significant number of people out there who were also victims of Husk's addiction, and may not be as sympathetic. Dude basically owned other people as property (… we have a word for that) and then literally played games with their lives.

And like, I'm not saying he hasn't changed. He seems more empathetic on the show than his backstory would imply, and apart from anything else, he's had a pretty clear object lesson about what it's like to be on the receiving end of that sort of thing. (Ngl, I'm pretty sure one of the reasons Alastor keeps him around is because he's the type to find the irony amusing.)

But like, he's in this place where he can relate to Angel Dust's situation, while at the same time probably also being able to relate to Valentino and Alastor's perspectives (although I doubt he was quite as bad as Val to work for).

And I'm curious as to what would happen, later in the series, if the gang met someone who had sold their soul to Husk at one point. Someone who would also be able to relate to Angel's situation, but with Husk as their version of Valentino.

[ladykailitha]

The Caged Bird Still Sings Part 2

I'm so glad that people enjoyed the first part of this so much. I hope you like sexy times and long chapters, because this has both.

I should point out that this is mid to late 80s and Eddie's cell phone is an actual fucking brick. Rich rockstar and all.

In this part we get Eddie sliding into home, finding out Steve's real age and how he got into the bar past a bouncer known for spotting fakes.

Part 1

Mature 18+ only!

~

Eddie was doing what he did best and that was absolutely shred on stage. He was back up vocals because Jeff truly had the pipes. Something they didn’t actually learn until they were half way through their first record.

He had no delusions that if he had remained lead singer, that they would have gotten absolutely fucking nowhere.

He was also keeping an eye on his little canary. Bright yellow in a sea of leather and chains. He just wanted to bite those cheeks. Face or ass, didn’t matter which. Though he would be very happy indeed to sink his teeth into that amazing ass.

Too soon and not soon enough they were saying goodbye. As they walked off stage, Eddie saw Chrissy come back up to Steve. Most likely telling him to stay a little longer.

Eddie was 97% sure that little Canary gave off queer vibes, but that little teeny-tiny doubt was all it took from going over there and bending him over the bar and fucking him wildly.

In the dressing room as they were putting away their guitars, Chrissy came bouncing into the room, bright smile on her face.

“You fucking owe me big time, lover boy,” she told Eddie. “His name is Steve, he’s twenty-two and he’s a local.”

Eddie leaned back against the sofa cushion and draped one arm over the back. “That’s all very interesting Chris, but that doesn’t help me get laid.”

She held up her hand. “I’m getting to it, babe. Pretty boy’s drinking his sorrows because Daddy kicked him out for being caught with his boyfriend.”

Suddenly Eddie was on the edge of his seat, elbows on his knees.

“Who told you that?” Gareth asked, twirling a stick between his fingers.

“Monty, the bouncer,” Chrissy replied, looking smug. “Steve is a regular and Monty knows him.”

Jeff raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Well enough that he would know the dude is queer in small town Bumfuck, Indiana?”

“That’s what he said.”

Brian rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “The worst thing that would happen is that he blows you off and you blow town. Everyone knows you’re gay anyway, it won’t hurt shit if he says anything.”

Jeff and Gareth exchanged concerned glances.

“I’m with Brian,” Eddie said, “and not just because I find the dude hot. He’s not going to start shit surrounded by all my fans and if he’s just out for drinks there’s nothing wrong with me having a couple with the guy.”

Gareth and Jeff sighed.

“You were going to do whatever you wanted to do anyway,” Gareth said. “And even I could tell he had a hard time keeping his eyes off you and I’m in the fucking back!”

Eddie cackled. “Damn right.”

~

Steve was enjoying his second Tequila Sunrise, when the lead guitarist slid into the stool next to him.

Steve turned in his seat to look at him. “Wow, as I live and breathe, Eddie Munson in the flesh. You know you’re better looking in person then you are in pictures.”

Eddie cackled and ordered a beer. He turned to face Steve as the bartender pulled his beer and set it down in front him.

“Cocktails are an interesting choice,” he murmured after taking a sip of his beer. “I would have pegged you for the bottle beer type.”

Steve raised an eyebrow over the top of his glass. “Beer’s great unless you want to get drunk fast then it’s shit. Especially in this hick town.” He took a sip. “Plus it tastes better.”

Eddie threw back his head and laughed. “Fair point. I stick to beer so that I don’t get drunk off my ass, falling off stage is never fun regardless of the height involved.”

“Sounds like you’ve had experience,” Steve said with a huff of laughter.

Eddie hummed around the lip of his bottle and took a sip. “Yep! In the early days of the band, took a header off a stage at some festival, right into the crowd. I’m not sure who got hurt worst, me or the poor people I landed on.”

Steve winced. “That’s rough. At least you were able to come back from that, don’t think most people could.”

“Thank you,” Eddie said with a smile.

They continued to talk. Steve knew the signs. The way Eddie was leaning close, the way he would let his hands gaze his skin, the flirty language. There was no doubt Steve was going home with this one. Well hotel, anyway. So he slowed up on his alcohol intake.

And if the bartender’s smirk was any indication, Eddie was doing the same. It seemed that neither one was interested in drunk sex.

~

Eddie was going to kill Monty and Jeff was never going to let him live it down. Because there was no way this guy was twenty-two. Sure, he knew how to hold his liquor and when to slow down, he had to give him that, so clearly he’d been drinking awhile. But he talked like a high school student.

He just hoped his little Canary was only naive and not actually fucking under age.

“Shit,” Eddie said after draining the rest of his third beer in two hours, “I could kill for a smoke.”

“I wouldn’t mind one,” Steve said, leaning close, “if you’ve got one to share.”

Eddie eyed him up and down. “What no room in those pants for a pack of smokes?”

“I mean I could,” Steve said cocking his head to the side, “But it would leave much room for anything else and I kinda need my wallet more than I need a pack of smokes on me at all times, so...”

Eddie laughed and shook his head. “Yeah, darlin’, I can see why that might be a problem.”

He hopped off the stool and Steve dutifully followed him out the back. He pulled out a couple of smokes and lit them both before handing one to Steve.

“So how did you get your fake ID past the door gargoyle?” Eddie asked after taking a drag and blowing straight up into the air.

Steve threw back his head and laughed. “What gave me away?”

Yup. Jeff was never going to let him live this down. God damn it.

“For all your big talk,” he huffed, annoyed, “you don’t sound like someone who’s been around long enough to be the age on your ID.”

Steve shrugged. “I’ve had the same ID since I was sixteen. Both of them. I have a cousin Scott who was nineteen at the time and altered it for me.” He pulled out the fake ID and handed it to him.

Eddie squinted in the dark and realized that if he hadn’t been told it was a fake he wouldn’t have noticed a damn thing. But there slight smudges where there shouldn’t be that just tipped it over the edge into fake territory.

“Okay,” he groused, “that is a pretty good fake. But Monty is known for his eagle eye in spotting a fake, so what gives?”

Steve grinned as he took back the ID. “Scott is my cousin on my dad’s side and Monty’s my cousin on my mom’s side. He knows my parents are shit so he pays the owner under the table when I go out to drink here. Which I keep to a minimum for his sake, mainly I use it to buy beer in out of town gas stations.” He pulled out his real ID and handed it Eddie. “I’m young, but I’m not stupid.”

Eddie blinked at Steve for a moment in shock. He looked down at the real age and god, the sigh of relief he bit back was immense. Nineteen. His little Canary was nineteen.

“Sorry for doubting you,” Eddie murmured, handing the ID back.

Steve shrugged again. “I get it. I’ve been told I have kind of a weird face when it comes to age, I could look anywhere from sixteen to thirty depending on the lighting and what I’m wearing.” He took his first drag of his cigarette and blew out of the side of his mouth, flicking the ashes on the ground.

Eddie stared at him owlishly for a moment before he dropped his cigarette on the pavement and ground it with the heel of his boot. Then he surged forward and grabbed Steve’s face to mash their lips together.

Steve’s fingers slackened and the cigarette fell from his fingers and rolled away. He brought his hands up to get his hands on those curls like he’d been dreaming about all night. Eddie moaned as blunt nails scratched his scalp. He wrapped his arms around Steve and pulled him in close.

This time it was Steve’s turn to moan. They pressed together from chest to knees and he could feel everything through the thin layer of his clothes.

Eddie’s hands roamed down his back and straight to those delicious looking ass cheeks. He wanted to taste them as surely as he could taste the ash on his lips.

All the buildup, all the tension all night was culminated in this first kiss. Eddie was heady with it. The alcohol in his system burning away in the face of his desire for this man. Because young as he was his little Canary was a man, no doubt.

A man who clearly wanted to take this elsewhere and Eddie wanted to let him.

“Just, just,” he panted when he pulled away. “Just let me tell someone we’re going back to the hotel, okay baby?”

Steve nodded a little kiss drunk and a lot breathless. “Should I just wait here for you then?”

Eddie nodded and then dashed back into the bar. He was barely gone two minutes before he was back out and dragging Steve to his car.

When they got to the car, Eddie pushed him up against it to kiss him again.

“Someone’s eager,” Steve teased, his hands skirting the stripe of skin between Eddie’s pants and shirt.

“Baby, you have no idea,” he growled, diving in to kiss him senseless.

Steve moaned as every nerve in his body lit up with every lick of Eddie’s tongue, every kiss of his lips, every touch of his hands. He felt like he was on fire.

Eddie pulled away long enough to unlock the car. He opened the door and practically shoved Steve into it, before he ran around to the other side of the car and got into the driver’s seat.

“Hold on, baby,” Eddie purred as the engine roared to life, “you’re in for a ride.”

“God I hope so!” Steve said breathlessly, pressing back against the leather of the seat.

Eddie cackled, pulling into traffic. “Oh honey, you have no idea.”

~

Hands were everywhere by the time they finally got into the hotel room.

Steve had stayed in some pretty swanky places growing up, traveling with his parents but fuck it was nothing this decadent.

All the fittings were brass and the tops were marble. In the middle of this was a large king size bed with black bedding and white throw pillows. If he wasn’t trying to get the two of them naked as fast as possible, he would have belly flopped on the mattress and buried his face in the pillows.

But all thoughts of that went out the window when Eddie’s mouth starting kissing down his throat as the only thing going off in his head became: YES! YES! YES!

Steve’s shirt was the first thing to come off as Eddie kept trying to get at more of Steve’s skin. Then Steve’s pants and shoes were next, leaving him naked in the face of the very dressed rock star.

Eddie picked him up and threw him on the bed. He tossed off his jacket and then tore of his shirt. He hopped on the bed and crawled up Steve’s body like a predator on the prowl. Steve moaned as Eddie kissed him deeply.

“God,” Steve groaned. “I need you to fuck me, so badly.”

Eddie grinned, his hands moving down Steve’s chest and sides to land on his hips. “Is that right, little Canary? You need to be fucked?”

Steve nodded, his capacity for speech having flown away with his ability to think of anything but getting to be fucked by a rock star.

Eddie scrambled off the bed and took off his boots and pants. Then he dug around in the nightstand before he pulled out what he was looking for. A small tube of lube and a pack of condoms.

Steve’s body shuddered with the thought of being absolutely wrecked by this beast of a man. Eddie looked good in his clothes, but so much better out of them. He was still as lean and tight as whipcord, but his body was toned with well-formed muscle. And then he pulled his hair back and suddenly Steve wanted to leave hickies all over that column of his throat. Because God! It was just as sinful as the rest of him.

“Shit,” he hissed. “You’re the reason people think gays are going to hell. You’re as gorgeous as sin. Fuck!”

Eddie blinked at him for a moment and threw back his had in laughed. “Baby, that was quite the line.” But before Steve could even think about frowning at being laughed at, he dived back in to kiss his mouth. “If I’m sin, little Canary, then you must be heaven sent.”

Steve wanted to protest that Eddie’s line was worst, but again all thoughts went out of his head when Eddie put the first condom on Steve. His hips bucked with the touch even if it wasn’t a sexual one.

“Now who’s the eager one, baby?” Eddie purred.

Steve moaned the loss of his hands as he watched Eddie sheath his dick in the second condom. He tossed the foil packets away and then popped open the cap of lube. He coated his finger with the liquid and circled Steve’s hole.

Steve let out a little whine at being touched but not enough. It wasn’t enough. Then Eddie breached the ring of muscle and holy fuck, it felt so good.

“You like that, little Canary?” Eddie teased, working his finger in and out of him.

“So good,” Steve breathed, trying not fuck himself on the digit.

“And you’re going to continue feel good, aren’t you?” Eddie murmured into Steve stomach. “Because you’re going to be a good boy and tell me if anything is uncomfortable or hurts, right?”

Steve nodded.

“Use your words, little Canary,” Eddie said, pulling his finger out of him.

“Yes!” Steve cried, though he would have said anything just so that Eddie would come back with his finger.

“Good boy.”

But when he brought his finger back, he added another and Steve nearly careened off the bed. Eddie held him down with his other hand.

“Look at you,” he purred. “I’ve never been with anyone so responsive before, baby.”

“So good for you,” Steve babbled. “Want to be so good.”

“And you are,” Eddie assured him. “You are so good for me.”

Shortly after the second finger, a third was added and Steve was muttering pleas and inanities as Eddie continued to work him open.

“Please, Eddie!” he cried. “I need you!”

Eddie removed his fingers and lined himself up. He grabbed Steve’s hips and slipped right into him.

Soon it was an uncoordinated mess of Eddie fucking Steve and Steve working himself to get off.

“So close...” Steve whispered.

Eddie grabbed Steve’s hand and together they finished him off. His body arched off the bed as he released into the condom. He fell boneless, to the bed as Eddie chased his own completion.

Soon after he was releasing ribbon after ribbon into the condom. His hips shuttered and then stilled as the last of his orgasm floated through his system.

He pulled off Steve’s condom first and then his own, making sure to tie each off before throwing them away.

He cleaned them both up with a wet hand towel from the en suite bathroom and then tucked a sleepy Steve into the bed.

He crawled in behind him and pulled him in close. He kissed Steve’s shoulder and the man muttered back sleepily something that sounded a little too close to, “Love you, too,” for Eddie’s liking.

Not because he didn’t want Steve in love with him, but because he was half way there himself.

This boy was going to be trouble.

~

Steve absolutely doesn't remember saying those three little words the next day.

Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

Tag List: CLOSED

1- @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @beelze-the-bubkiss

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @cryptid-system

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @justforthedead89 @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji

5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @sticknpokelightningbolt

9- @scoops-aboy86 @kurofuckingshi16 @watermelonmite @eyehartart

[caitchercatlady]

Not Having a Good Time

-Octavinelle Version

Azul Ashengrotto

As you drag your feet down the halls, you can hear the Leech twins advertising the Monstro Lounge's weekend discounts. This is quite the bad timing because the moment they see your sourpuss face, they make you an example target for bringing in business. Begrudgingly, you follow them to the Octavinelle Dorm, which was already busy enough, the type of place you'd rather not be. You take a booth by your lonesome, wishing you were somewhere else, until the dorm's Housewarden, arrives, making his rounds around the Lounge.

"So the rumor was true. You elate me by coming this evening. Now, sing me your troubles, and in return, I will make you the best offer of the night."

You doubt Azul's statement, but if there was any good time to rant, it was now, where the Headmage couldn't hear. As you give him the lay down, Azul takes in every word with interest. Once you finish ranting about schoolwork and the Leech twins' antics, Azul makes the most unbelievable offer: you will receive anything you want for no cost at all.

You take it to see if Azul's being honest, and much to your surprise, your order comes in without a bill. You indulge in the meal, and once finished, you so happened to fall asleep in peace. Azul comes back to the booth to check on you, and his heart happens to melt at the sight of you. Without wanting to to disturb you, he lays his Housewarden uniform trench coat on top of you as a blanket. No need to fret about when you wake back up; Azul will take care of everything.

Jade Leech

You feel bad for not wanting to keep your promise on helping Jade out with his mushroom research, but a promise is a promise. You feel better that you two don't speak for the first few minutes as you are searching for shrooms about campus. This quiet search ends up as tiring because as soon as you find a tree, a chunk of your memory is gone. You wake up again to see Jade laying right next to you, taking in the peace and quiet. Guilt immediately rushes through your body and you apologize profusely. However, you're surprised at Jade's response:

"Be still, Yuu. No apologies are required here. I happen to quite enjoy the quiet out here. Nevertheless, if you feel the need to explain, I'll be more than interested to listen."

So you explain your stressful, sleepless days due to studying and helping others during the week. As Jade promised, he keeps his focus onto you until you grow tired from talking. You apologize again as you unconsciously fall asleep again under the tree. Finding this cute, Jade doesn't mind and he also takes a nap with you under the tree, hoping this would help you after a long busy week of work.

Floyd Leech

Floyd notices that you haven't been your usual self today. As someone who experiences mood switches on the daily, he believes he has the best idea to help fix your energy tank. He takes you to the lake, though you were still not in the mood for anything, but this is Floyd we're talking about. He doesn't seem to take no for an answer. As you hesitate, Floyd gives you an encouraging push into the water. He jumps in after you to show you the proper way to relax like a merfolk.

"Be with the water. Close your eyes and think of nothing."

Whatever that was supposed to mean, you follow those instructions unless you wanted Floyd to constrict you to understand. To your incredibility, you're no longer floating on water, but you're resting on a cloud instead. Floyd joins you in the float from the opposite direction just in case you relax a little too comfortably. It's too bad that humans shrimp up too quickly in water or else you would've enjoyed this experience forever.

[forbidden-sin-bin]

By Your Side - Chapter 3

Summary: Only appearing as a mere background extra a few times, your hopes of landing a large enough role to be truly seen dwindles by the minute. In the midst of the long wait, you bury yourself in being the hardest working part-time barista the café has to offer.

Oh, and say hello to your new manager, who’s also working hard to make ends meet.

---

August 27, 1997

---

Brushing your apron smooth, you made your way to the cash register with a your usual practiced smile. "Welcome to the Tango Palace. What can I get you today?"

The welcoming expression on your face was far from the reality of your situation right now. And boy, it was bad.

Ever since the trip from New York feeling like a success, the days of receiving nothing but silence on your end slowly melted into creeping disappointment. Waiting by the phone for hours on end, all for nothing, the day wasted.

And it wasn't just the callback that you were waiting for: you had dozens of tryouts in the race against many others - improvs, scripts, interviews, singing, even a literal hand evaluation - in order to take that one and only spot of being chosen.

Though your parents were always happy whenever you landed a spot as an extra in the background of a single scene, be it movie or tv show, it did nothing to quell the shot-through nerves of wondering if the agency would ever give you an update on that callback you did.

At this point, nearing the new school year for Quinn's first year of kindergarten was the only silver lining in all of this. No doubt, you were proud, but it was bittersweet seeing them grow so fast. It seemed as if it were only yesterday that you had brought him home from the hospital, and in a blink he's walking, talking and ready to learn how to read.

In fact, you were so lost in reminiscing you nearly missed your customer's order.

Realizing you may or may not have zoned out for a second too long, you mentally slapped yourself as you quickly typed out the order. "S-sorry! Was it a regular coffee, one cream, no sugar?"

"And a quiche." Your customer sighed. "Jesus Christ..."

You nodded as you forced down your panic and irritation at the backhanded comment, giving them the total as you set the register to print out the receipt. "Alright, it'll only take a second." Whipping around, you set to work on pouring out a steaming hot cup of coffee, freshly brewed, and placing a pre-prepared veggie quiche out of the fridge and into the oven, dialing the settings to heat it just right.

Holding back your own sigh, you leaned back on the countertop as you waited. Truth be told, you weren't sure if the thought of getting fired was more stressful, or the thought of becoming a good-for-nothing that's entirely possible in the near future was worse. Either way, you couldn't lose this job.

The owners were kind enough, and business wasn't overly crowded with people, but you wanted to show them that hiring you was the best decision they could've made. Thinking about anything that isn't the job is the complete opposite of what you're trying to prove.

'Don't think of anything but what's in front of you, right now.'

---

Later that evening...

---

You tossed each letter onto the table in two separate piles; One for bills, the other for junk mail. After an uneventful day of serving customers, you returned home as always, filtering out the mail for your parents before they came home.

It wouldn't be long before the school year started, and you'd have to cut your hours in order to pick Quinn up from school, elsewise he'd be stuck in the after-care program till six, which wasn't fair for him at all.

It wasn't as if your family was poor or in debt, rather down on its luck. Your parents working at desk jobs required them to be there from at least nine to five, there was little to no time to take a break, especially now that they're not just working to keep the house afloat; If all else failed, you'd have to pick a course and go through community college just to get some degree that'll help you find a job that pays.

A part of you feared that you'd be kicked out eventually, which terrified your thoughts of not being able to take care of Quinn. And not being able to take care of Quinn means you're probably getting kicked out of the house like every other parent does to their kid that doesn't deliver.

Alright, that last part is debatable. But it’s possible, and you weren’t taking any chances.

And by not taking any chances, you sure as hell weren’t about to let the phone ring twice as you practically leaped over the kitchen table to pick it up.

"Hi! Hello?! Sorry- hello?"

"H-hello? Hi, is this-?" A stressed voice stutters out your first and last name.

Your face, initially bright with hope fell comically quick as you realized it wasn't an agency calling you for a role. Instead, a somewhat nervous voice of a young man answered. From how he sounded you could tell he was sweating bullets coming out of the other side of the phone.

"Yes, hi. That would be correct." You replied, not bothering to hide your deadpan shift in mood. This however didn't seem to phase the stranger.

"Oh, great! I saw your resume sent in to my agency, and I see you're looking for an agent to represent you in the coming years? Hopefully trying to find work?"

A few seconds of silence passed as you processed his response. 'Oh shoot, they actually remembered?' You thought with wide eyes.

"He-hello?"

"Yep, still on the line. May I ask who's calling?"

"Sean Warden. Sorry I should've introduced myself at the start but-"

You cut him off. "All good. And to answer your question: Yes. I'm in need of assistance in receiving job offers. Is that sufficient?"

"Awesome. So, the reason I'm calling you right now is because I have a proposition to offer you."

Again, silence, as if he was awaiting a reaction out of you. You however, had already begun to lose patience. "...Please continue." You held back a sigh, beginning to wonder if this is some sort of prank call or scam caller.

Still, this 'Sean' guy seemed either desperate or eager as he revealed his intention.

"I would like to represent you as your agent."

...

A few hours later...

...

"I'm going to be honest with you: This is not how I expected a potential signing of a client to look like."

Sitting inside a Tim Horton's café, coffee cups in hand, you found yourself sitting at a two-person table with a young, skittish and scrawny looking man in his mid to late twenties. Admittedly, this isn't the kind of guy you'd expect to meet.

Sharing an awkward silence, both of you holding small black coffees, neither of you had the gall to break the painful, painful silence. At least, until you've finished reading the whole entire contract that he gave you.

Given you're in the middle of the second page out of... eight, this was going to be a long evening.

Flicking your gaze at him for a brief glance away from your reading, you saw no impatience, only anxiousness, in his face. "Sorry if I'm taking up your time." You offered, figuring it'd be the least you could do for someone who hasn't been pushing your buttons.

Sean waves you off. "No need, I'm just happy you've agreed to even see me. I'll take anything, really."

You raised a brow. 'Anything, he says.' Your thoughts wandered away to making it seem as if you weren't the first option of employment, probably the last.

"O-oh, no no nonono, I didn't mean it like that!" He corrects himself, probably noticing or fearing that he might've made you reconsider signing that contract. "I mean- like-" He sighs, covering his face with a hand, filled with stress. "Don't get me wrong, I absolutely wanted to pick you as a client. I've seen your resume and everything; I can see the potential you have, I mean it."

Nodding, you resumed scanning the papers. "Continue. I'm listening, don't worry." Seeing that he hadn't missed his shot, he relaxed a little.

"I'm not trying to sell a sob story, it's just the truth. As you may know, the work I do is to find others work; Aspiring actors, music artists, the like? I'm no beginner to this, I've had many clients in the past and I haven't failed finding them jobs. But when there's older, more experienced agents... Well, you'd want to be represented by them more than me."

You hummed in acknowledgement, not taking your eyes off the contract as you flipped to page 3.

"My last three clients have all decided to move on to find a more renowned agency, meaning that as of now, I've no one to find work for, which also means my wages are little to none at the moment." Sean finished, clasping his hands together and resting them on the table, looking down as he finished. "What I'm offering you right now isn't the end all, be all. I promise you, regardless of what's going on in my personal and home life, I'll give it my all to find you what you need." It almost sounds like a plead, coming from him. "If you end up parting ways with me in the future, that's more than okay! It's just... please. Give me this chance to help you out."

Finally, you raised your head to look at him. Keeping your face neutral, you finally spoke after a few moments:

"Could you do something for me, if I do sign?"

He nodded eagerly. "Yeah, of course! What is it?"

Taking sip of your coffee first, you then reached into your bag and handed him your notebook. Well, one of many... but you knew this one had something you were looking for, and you couldn't reach it by yourself.

Flipping through to the page you wanted him to see, you slid the notebook over too him. "There's someone I know that's been looking to release an EP this year... probably this year, I don't know exactly. Problem is, you can't find their stuff here, only in Detroit. Think you could help me out?"

"Can I?" He almost laughed in relief. "Say no more." Scanning the written contact info that wasn't written in your hand, you watched as he holds the notebook closer to his face as something flickers across his expression. "Hold on a second..." First starting from genuine interest slowly melted to confusion, then familiarity.

You raised a brow. "Is everything alright?"

Suddenly, Sean's gray eyes widened in recognition, and indignation.

"OH, NOT THAT BALD-HEADED BASTARD?!"

...

....

.....

A few weeks later...

...

"OH, NOT THAT SMUG FUCKIN TWINK."

Marshall's head snapped up from writing another let of lyrics as he looked at his recently-signed agent, Paul. "The fuck you goin on about man?"

Holding the letter in his hands, Paul looked like he was glaring daggers into the paper. "Not you! It's this guy that I knew from law school, fucking annoying is what he was." Tossing the paper to his table, he sighed as he walked out of the room. "Take a look if you want, apparently his client claims to know you or something. They're waiting for your EP."

'How the hell'd they know already, this fuckin early?' Marshall picked up the paper, lazily scanning through the content that somehow got Paul pissed enough to take a hike. The signed name of the writer, Sean Warden, didn't ring any bells except the one labelled: 'white guy's name', if it wasn't obvious enough.

No one here would name their kid Sean, for fucks sake.

The name of his client however... slowly, but eventually remembering that day they met, even if it was only for a few minutes, was not forgotten on either of them, it seems.

Marshall huffed out a laugh.

"Hoooooooly fuckin shit. That bitch actually did it."

----

(End of Chapter 3)

----

A/N: HAPPY 1 YEAR AND... *checks calendar* NEARLY THREE MONTHS Y'ALL

Yep.

I think you already know I'm about to apologize again, so uhh... I'm extremely, very sorry? If any of you are still waiting I'm incredibly sorry for the long ass wait. I said previously it was all uphill from here, which was a LIE IT SEEMS

But just to make it up to you all... Chapter 4 is coming THIS WEEK. So there's something to look forward too I hope! Chapter 5 is coming a few weeks after as well. But I hope this suffices for now, thank you for your patience <3

Taglist: @eminemsorangejuice , @slimshay-castle , @jackiehollanderr , @mizzysx , @esposadomd , @dimitrampl , @hallecarey1 , @krillfromsky , @nabiiturner, @swimregulas , @olivesarenicetoeat17 , @linnottt​ , @harryswif3 , @liathelioness , @roundbrownlover​ , @crimsonincursive , @akemiixx01 , @lizzy06 , @chxe-zdechnac , @ellies-femme , @qwerrry , @born2wyn , @thefemalestorywriter , @milllieeee , @neozen-23 , @in0320

(Let me know in my ask box if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

[sturniolosass]

Date Night -

Chris Sturniolo x Fem!Reader

Angst, ends in Fluff

Warnings: Swearing, fatphobia?, arguing, yelling, crying, kissing, anger?, another girl…bi-reader

Summary: Chris was never the type to be ready for a “first date” but when y/n asks him out, he can’t help but feel anxious about saying yes.

Chris was seated on his cream couch in the living room of the boys home when y/n decides to text him.

Y/N

Hey Chris wyd

Nothing much just watching Tv chilling thinking ab running some games of fort…wassup

Oh nothing, I just saw the new Wednesday video you just released.. I was thinking it’d be funny for you to let me take your “first date virginity”..

lmaoo that’d be weird tho right? I mean you are one of my closest friends idk if we should hang out that intimately..

I mean it’d only be weird if we make it..I feel like this would be just a chill day and maybe I could give you some pointers on how you should treat a girl on your true first date…

I mean that’s true.. I guess it wouldn’t hurt..

Chris POV

Texting y/n about this date idea she has, has really struck some anxiety in me.. You see I like y/n a lot but I've been speaking to this new girl named Sade, she's gorgeous and sweet.. she sings, gets along with all my friends and don't get me wrong y/n does most of those things too.. but I've been waiting around so long for her to realize how I've felt about her.. she's had two boyfriends, one or two talking stages, and one girlfriend.. all in the four year span of us knowing eachother, two of which I was completely in love with her..

I was thinking of bringing Sade to half of our date around the ending just to make it clear to y/n that she knows this is exactly what is planned to be, I can't keep waiting around for her to come around to me, my life has to keep moving. I was never the one to out and tell her how I've felt but Nick and Matt tell me that they've both informed her of my feelings years ago...

As I get ready I make sure to text Sade asking her to join us later in the night to hang out.. however I'm not sure where we'll be hanging at so ill wait to give her to major details..

Heading out I call Laura to ask her to send a driver for the day because even though this isn't the real date I still want it to go how I planned it in my head...

Once the driver arrives I spray two squirts of cologne on my wrist and dab then against my neck heading out in my Betty boop Vintage Hollywood Tee, my black distressed jeans, and white air forces getting in the car and heading out on the way to y/n’s house

Your POV

As I’m getting ready to go applying lipgloss and my forces I receive a message from Chris saying He’s on his way.. which confused me a little because i swore that man couldn’t drive and that i’d have to pick him up from his house.. regardless i tie my shoes up and head out down the stairs..

For today i planned to head out to a Top Golf and after have some ice cream then later in the night stop at a park and just walk and talk and finally tell Chris my feelings for him.. Yea it’s been a while I’ve been feeling this way for Chris, maybe a month or two.. and remembering back in maybe 2021 when Nick told me Chris was “in love with me” and i was with Braden, I have no doubt this will go my way..

Chris texts me that he’s outside, i hop up from the couch and run out the door.

“hey” i say sliding in the seat next to him in the all black escalade with blacked out windows “oh hey” he smiles. “chauffeur” i nod insinuating the driver “yea, you know you’re special” he smirks smugly. “yea right” i roll my eyes laughing. “we are we going” he notices we’re still sitting in my drive way.. “oh 3756 cherry street” i tell the driver the address to top golf.. Chris automatically notices the address “Top Golf?!” he shouts excitedly “haha yeah! is that a good idea?” i ask hoping he likes the idea. “give me aux.” i say “ask the driver” he replies.. I get the aux from the driver and play a couple songs..

Once we arrive we walk in play a couple games until we tire eachother out. Sitting down to grab something to eat we start chatting.

“Yo! let me ask you a couple questions and see if you can answer them good enough.” i ask he looks at me weirdly “ok.. but i wanna let you know to help me if i answer then badly.. i have a date lined up after this practice” he laughed.. Me not know if he’s sure or not i begin to ask the questions “if you were friends with a girl and you had a girlfriend then the friend/girl posts pics in a bikini, would you like them?” i ask look at him suspiciously.. “Well it depen-“ he starts “ANNNNTTT” i say making the sound of a buzzer to signify he got the answer wrong.. “what do you mean?? i barely got to answer” he argues. “you shouldn’t like it regardless!!” i argue.. “well, that’s just crazy but i understand..” he nods in approval. “ok next one.” just as i start to ask he states “ oh by the way, Sade is gonna join us later.. where should i tell her to join us at?” he asks looking down at his phone as if he was reading a text message “oh what do you mean i thought i was teaching you some stuff today..?” i ask confused.. “i mean yeah but by the end of the night i kinda wanted to see if the things you taught me worked.. ya know like see if my jitters go away a little” he says nonchalantly.. i just look down, “oh” i say.. “hey how about we just head out to grab ice cream and then she could just join us at the park later” i ask.. “ok bet, ill let her know our plans” he nods.

Hearing Chris even mention another girl made my stomach feel as queasy as it would after eating a whole chipotle burrito in one sitting.. So we head out.. Getting in the car i see Chris Texting on his phone again.. assuming it’s Sade i grab his phone putting it behind my back “come on vibe with me it’s fucking skies” i shout over the bass. “come on just give me my phone back y/n” he stares blankly.. “no you’re stuck in it” i speak. “just give me my shit come on” he raises his voice a little. “na na na boo boo you can’t get it” i joke. “DUDE STOP PLAYING ALL THE TIME JUST GIVE ME MY SHIT” Chris shouts startling me.. i just hand him the phone and turn to look out the window..

It was so obvious i had an attitude but I’m sure Chris wouldn’t tell over the messages between him and Sade he was smiling at.. It hurt me how he was just so fine with being this way towards me when i’ve never once in my life raised my voice at him yet alone completely screamed in his face… however i assume that’s how someone you like a lot can make you feel..

Once we arrive at the Ice cream parlor I get a cone with cookies and cream in which Chris gets the same but in a cup with extra cookies, i look at him smiling “twins” i joke.. he just nods smiling before pulling his phone out his pocket “hey! is it cool if Sade joins us now? she’s around the corner at the Thrift shop and it’d just make sense” he asks.. clearly annoyed i say “sure, i mean that wasn’t the plan at all but what the fuck ever” i speak rolling my eyes.. “what’s is your problem..?” he asks offended by my response.. “like you’ve been acting weird since we left Top Golf and it’s annoying, if you’re just gone be an asshole you can just go home cause you’re definitely killing my mood” he adds.. “Chris what the fuck are you on about? I’ve been nothing but sweet while you just sit on your phone the whole day, the last conversation we had was at Top Golf dude since then you’ve just been on your phone..that’s what’s annoying” i respond.. “whatever i’m just trying to respond fast enough is that not what girls like?” he raises his voice “Sure Chris but am i not a girl sitting in fucking front of you??” i shout back.. he just rolls his eyes

Sade then walks up.. she’s very pretty, Brunette hair, tattoos, brown eyes.. she’s honestly everything like me which is odd.. because Chris makes it seem like i’m nothing his type and just one of the “bros”..

As the Night goes on they continue chatting and i’m just there as a third wheel.. the only time me and Chris are alone is when Sade gets in her car to drive to the park because we still have the driver in the escalade, “hey Chris, i’m just gone gonna go home, i’m not really enjoying myself anymore” i speak.. he looks at me then back to his phone, then back at me “hey look.. i’m not gonna lie, i treated you like shit today and..I’m sorry, but i really need you for this part.. seriously, i’m gonna ask Sade to be my girlfriend and i’m not sure i can do this without you” he looks up at me with pleadful eyes.. “huuuugh fine” you sigh out knowing helping him with this is gonna tear you apart…

Once arriving at the park you, Chris, and Sade walk around the park chatting for a while until you get bored of their constant flirting and decide to lag behind the two.. Hearing a fly near your ear you swat it away only to realize it’s a moth totally terrified you start to jump around stepping on the back of Sade’s shoe to which she speak “Ouch! What the fuck is your problem! that fucking hurt asshole” she yells at you.. which catches chris off guard “woah calm down im sure it was a mistake, there was a bug or something” He speaks. “girl i didn’t do it on purpose, calm the hell down” i say back. “yeah sure you didn’t, you almost broke my fucking ankle fat ass” she yells! “woah what the fuck chill out Sade” Chris yells. “In what world would you ever think that’s funny or whatever the fuck you thought saying that dumb shit” Chris spoke annoyed.. I just walked away knowing if i were to stay there I’d be in a fight..

Once i get a block or two away i hear my name being shouted “y/n! y/n!” i looke back and it’s Chris. Annoyed i continue walking…. “Y/n come on!” Chris yells getting closer.. i slowly stop…

“Chris what the hell do you want? you and that girl have been nothing but rude to me all day… i’m sure you’ve even been laughing at her little jokes she’s had to say about me” i speak… “what? no! i told her to go home.. i didn’t even know she acted that way..i wouldn’t in a million years have even thought about being with her if i knew she spoke like that about you or any of my friends for that matter” He adds.. “Chris can you just let me go home.. i came out today hoping to end up telling you how i feel thinking you’d feel the same but hearing you’ve developed these feelings for someone else has done nothing but broke me over the last couple of hours” I start to tear up.. “What? what are you talking about?” he asks, “Chris, i like you.. like a lot, maybe even love you.. and thinking about our past and how we’re practically the same person, enjoy the same things, same music, same games, same fashion sense, etc. i thought you’d feel the same.. shit apparently even Nick and Matt thought the same thing but they were wrong. I’m fine if you don’t feel the same way but all i ask for is time apart from you, we spend almost every other day together and i can’t take doing that with you knowing you feel the way i feel for you, for another women.” i confess… “wait y/n, i never knew you felt this way…i’ve been in love with you for 3 years now” he drops to his knees in a sort of begging way “you crying because you think i don’t feel the same would have to be one of the most crazy things ive seen all week” he adds… “all ive ever wanted to do was be with you, you’re my rock, my entire world, being without you for more than a week would cause me too much pain to even live with” he confessed… i just smile looking down at him awkwardly. Pulling him up from the ground i ask “so where do we go from here?” looking into his blue orbs.. “i mean we can try again on that date” he smiled hating to have just said that in such a corny way.. “ haha i'd like that. but you’ve gotta promise that they’ll be no extra girls.” i reply.. “i promise” he obliged.. looking down at me in the middle of the sidewalk..

I kiss him.. and it feel like the most soul shocking thing i’ve ever experienced… considering ive never been in love before after dating 3 men.. i can guarantee that this is what love feels like.. we both pull away and he looks down shyly “that was so corny” he jokes “haha kissing under the moonlight, headahh” i joke back. We both cry laughing as we walk back to the Car… Where surprisingly the driver is still sitting…

The end :)

[solarwynd]

I doubt it will happen, but I wish Jin would try something a little more dark and mature, you know? For all that I didn't really ended up liking the songs that much I at least appreciate JITB for basically saying "I'm not just a fun, sunshine guy" and showing a different side of Hobi instead. And he went back to lighter songs that were more his usual style after with HOTS but that's fine because he had already done what he needed to do with JITB. It's what Jimin also did with FACE and MUSE. He needed to get those darker thoughts and feelings out of the way before he could do something happier. He couldn't do SGMB without doing Face-off first.

The differences between FACE and MUSE are so interesting, actually. The circus music in Showtime (which was used as an intro to SGMB in the music video) is supposed to sound genuinely fun because SGMB is a genuinely happy song. But the circus music in the intro of Face-off sound kinda off and creepy because Face-off is very much not a happy song and using that circus music is basically Jimin calling himself a clown and a fool for trusting others. Then you have the kids singing in CTT (and the kids dancing in SGMB) which is supposed to be nice and sweet. But in Alone, the one line where Jimin tries to be hopeful in what is otherwise a very hopeless song, the "It's gonna be all right" line is immediately followed by what sounds like kids singing "Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie" like they are mocking him for thinking things could get better. It's all such an interesting contrast. And I really do think Jimin needed to make FACE before he could make MUSE. Because when he explained the overall narrative of FACE he talked about how the events of Face-off made him skeptical of human relationships and made him think that he didn't need other people. So he needed to go through the events of FACE, to go from Face-off to Set Me Free Pt.2, to free himself from the past so he could heal from his previous bad experiences. Only then could he get to MUSE where he has learned to trust people again and now wants to be in a relationship with someone.

Sorry, I got sidetracked talking about Jimin (average Jimin lover behavior). But back to Jin. I know he has this persona of a silly, funny guy but I think he could try to break away from that for a moment and show he is more than that, just like Hobi did. But with how quickly this album seemed to be made (he said he finish recording in beginning of July and the masters and mixes were done by August) I don't think there will be a lot of depth here. I mean, pre-made songs, songs that probably weren't even made for him, can only be so personal. If you really want to share your own experiences in a more raw and honest way you're gonna have to write the songs yourself. Which no one in the vocal line seems interested in doing. And isn't that something? That Jimin was the only one to write his own album (two albums!) even though he was the one armys least expected to do that. Really goes to show armys don't know the members as much as they like to think they do. Which is another reason I wish the other vocal line members had made honest and personal music, so they could break away from the simple stereotypes they had in the group and show who they really are. But instead they just leaned into those stereotypes more.

To me it seems like the vocal line just released albums because that's what they were expected to do, not because they genuinely had something to say. Taehyung comes across to me as the type of person that likes the idea of things but never fully considers those things in depth. He liked the idea of making a mixtape, which is why he kept talking about it, but then he realized that's actually hard to make, which is why he kept making songs and deleting them and in the end gave up and let other people make the songs for him. And now he even says singing a whole song by himself is to hard and it's easier to just be in the group. Then you have Jungkook who seemed perfectly fine with not doing anything in the beginning of 2023 until Scooter Braun gave him Seven and convinced him to make an album by telling him he would make him a big popstar, which Jungkook himself said is his biggest goal. And while I could still be wrong about Jin, him finishing an album that fast makes it seemed like he knew he had to release an album, he couldn't be the only one not to, he knew everyone was expecting it, so he got pre-made songs and recorded them as fast as possible just so he could get it out of the way in 2024 and leave 2025 to the group.

And in contrast to those three you have Jimin, who started working on his album in the beginning of 2022, before the hiatus was even annouced. And he didn't make just one album and said to himself "Job done, I don't need to do anything else", no, he went and made a second album too. It's clear this wasn't just something he did out of obligation, he genuinely wanted to do this because he had something he wanted to say. Remember how he said he initially intended his first album to be more about his idol persona like Filter was? But when he started making the album it soon turned into something way more personal and raw, something that showed the real him in a way we never got to see before in the group. And it's not just that he wanted to get things off his chest, he also genuinely likes making music. The producers said that initially they came in with some demos to show Jimin but that those demos quickly were forgotten when he started giving a bunch of ideas (like him playing that keyboard which started the creation of Face-off) and humming melodies that were to good to pass up. So they threw those demos away and started making all the songs from scratch. Jimin doesn't need to be given pre-made songs because he not only has the interest, but also has the talent to make his own songs.

.🎯

[elliespuns]

The prologue scene is so important. There's so much hidden emotion behind Joel singing to Ellie.

What's so unbearable about this scene is that Ellie already knows Joel is lying to her, and Joel, as guilty as he is, suspects she knows but still tries his best not to admit it to himself. That's why the conversation between them is so awkward, even though we aren't given any reason for it to be in that moment. We'd expect that something must have happened between them in the meantime to make them so distant, but nothing really happened—that's the thing—nothing happened.

Ellie wasn't sure whether Joel was telling her the truth or not back when he told her about the fireflies after he saved her, because even though something in her was telling her that he was lying to her, she WANTED so badly to believe he wouldn't. But I think that time spent with Joel from this point on made her realize. 

Joel is not the type of guy to show emotions, to soften, or to try so hard. Yet, it's all he's been doing ever since they ended up in Jackson. All this constant trying to chitchat with her, tell jokes she likes, learn about her favorite things, sing to her (to somehow make amends to her), she knows what all this is about. She's not stupid. She can feel it, and she can see it in his face. It's not like Joel is good at hiding his guilt anyway.

This is perfectly portrayed in the scene where he comes into her room and sings to her. You can see how much he's nervous. Why is he nervous? To sing? No. He's nervous because he's about to sing to someone who might already feel disappointed in him. He's not self-conscious. He's not feeling himself because he's scared of what her reaction is going to be. It would break him if there was another thing she didn't like about him. And it's stupid to think so, because why would Ellie judge his singing? She wouldn't, and he knows it. Yet he can't help it because he's so buried in his guilt that he's losing his mind. You can see it in his face as he stops singing. He's ashamed to look at her; he needs her to say something. Something nice. He's avoiding eye contact.

Ellie, on the other hand, feels everything in that moment too deeply. The way he strums the guitar so delicately, the way his husky voice sings so softly, and how honest he is with the words he's too afraid to say out loud in a casual conversation. She can see he's trying. That's why she lets him do his thing, even though a part of her just wants him to leave. She knows he's lying to her. But she doesn't want to believe it. So when he starts, it changes everything for her.

You can see in the way Ellie carefully listens to every word that's meant just for her that she's falling for his love, letting the possibility of him not actually being the bad guy pierce through her being. He clearly loves her, so why dwell on it? She's letting his love in, forgiving him in a way.

That's why she's so sad when he leaves the room. If he's lying to her, why isn't she worth the truth? On the other hand, what if he's not lying to her? She's unreasonably pushing this mellow man, who means well, away. It makes her feel bad. She needs to give him a chance.

That's why later, when she's 16, we see her enjoying her birthday with Joel, laughing and bickering. It's because she let herself let go. She let the heavy feeling in her chest of him lying to her die that day and let his love in instead.

And then, a year later, she finds the letter, and all those feelings and doubts are back. It makes her go back to the hospital, and she finds out the truth. It is so sad to realize that maybe if she hadn't found the letter, she would have never gone back to the hospital and would have never found out the truth that cost her 2 long years of a beautiful fatherly friendship with the only person who had ever loved her so deeply.

[underdark-dreams]

Fellow Rolan lovers forgive me 👀 I have no idea where this came from. I just encountered Harper Geraldus in Act 3 again in my playthrough last night, and my brain said, that boy needs to get [redacted]

Harper Geraldus x afab!OC (unnamed, description kept vague)

Wet Behind the Ears

"What would you like, Geraldus? You can tell me." Harper Geraldus has had a very bad, terrible, absolutely no-good week. His superiors decide he needs a night at the Sharess's Caress to cure what ails him.

Tags: Size Kink, Sexual Inexperience, Face Sitting, Explicit | afab!OC

Word Count: 5.6k [Read on AO3]

No sooner had she stepped from the bathwater did the door to her chambers swing open.

“Hope you’re not headed to bed,” called a sing-song voice.

She wrapped a towel around her wet middle just as Irenya flounced brazenly past the wooden screen beside her bath. Privacy was a rare luxury in Sharess’s Caress, but her workday was well over—she’d earned the right to a bit of it.

“Do come in,” she drawled. 

The elf only gave her a coy smile as she toyed with the laces of her tiny bodice. Even for a courtesan, Irenya wore as little as she could get away with. And the bar downstairs owed her half its profits for it.

“Good, you’re up. Mamzell’s got another client for you.”

“At this hour?” A bit of impatience crept into her voice; it was far past midnight. Whoever they were, they’d better be paying well. “Don’t suppose they’d prefer one of our lovely drow.”  

“You know that’s not how this works,” Irenya laughed, a tinkling sound. “Mamzell handpicked you. Said you’ll be his type.” 

That meant he was either quite green, or quite reserved—she knew her niche well. She busied herself with toweling off and wondered which. “Patriar?”

��Harper,” answered Irenya.

That did stir a mild curiosity. Harpers were even rarer than Guild members on the upper floors of this place, and that was saying something. Folk who dealt in secrecy and under-dealings were strongly discouraged from visiting pleasure houses—though she knew from personal experience that they didn’t always listen to orders. 

And why should they? Sharess’s Caress kept secrets better than any of them put together. But unlike the Guild or the Zhent, most Harpers weren’t known to have pockets deep enough for after-hours trysts. 

“If this is another favor for Entharl Danthelon,” she warned, cinching a gauze robe around her waist. “I swear, Amira turns into a giggling maid around that bloke. Don’t tell her I said that,” she added swiftly.

Thankfully, Irenya didn’t seem to hear. She took an eager step closer. “Just wait till you see, you might have fun with this one. He’s so pretty,” Irenya groaned, biting her lip in the way that earned all that coin.

Pretty or not, her body yearned only for her empty bed. But telling Irenya that would ensure it got back to Mamzell Amira, and the house mother’s patience had its limits. She put on a practiced smile instead.

“Then kindly shoo,” she told Irenya. “And send the pretty man up.”

As the door swung shut behind the elf—who was no doubt headed for a good night’s sleep, unlike herself—she heaved a sigh and moved to prepare her room for clientele. A second goblet on the tray; a pass over the covers and pillows to ensure they looked fresh and unslept in. She shook her hair down from its clasp, glancing in the mirror by the bath to smooth it. Then she perched herself on the edge of the mattress and arranged her robe to show a sliver of leg. Just enough to catch the eye. 

If this Harper was openly visiting the Caress, he must have done something very impressive worth rewarding. Or else survived something awful enough to warrant a professional distraction.

Gods, let it not be the latter. She’d comforted her share of men and women who only wanted to be held while they cried, but tonight, the prospect made her groan. A tumble in the sheets would be far less work on her part, and the customer usually left just as satisfied in the end.

A soft tap at the door broke her reverie. 

Her brow furrowed for a moment—knocks were rare. “Come in,” she called.

When the youth stepped slowly into her room, it was immediately apparent why he hadn’t just opened the door like any other patron would.

Irenya hadn’t lied—he was certainly pretty. But gods, he was young. Couldn’t be older than twenty or so, with an angular jaw and wide hazel eyes framed by long, dark lashes the same color as the hair curling just past his shoulders. He had the look of a fawn who’d just stumbled into the middle of civilization.

She watched his large eyes quickly take in the room. When they fell on her where she sat, the blush that traveled up his face was noticeable even in candlelight.

Her mind switched tack at once. She rose to her bare feet, wearing her friendliest and least wanton smile. 

“Please,” she invited, drawing an arm out to welcome him in. 

His eyes flicked down her figure once, then settled firmly up on her face. “Thank you,” he managed, and strode briskly into the room as if afraid she might rescind the offer. 

It took only a few seconds to size him up. His leather jerkin was well-worn but clean, same as his boots. He was tall and fit, yet he moved with more of a cautious ranger’s gait than that of a soldier or swordsman. Perhaps that was just down to nerves. As she watched him close the door, she noticed his pale fingers fidget and shake on the latch slightly.  

Few of his age and apparent rank could afford this place, particularly by special appointment. Someone must be very fond of this young man.

“Make yourself comfortable,” she told him, filling the inevitable silence before it could form. “Would you like a drink? I’ve got something excellent from Amn.”

She turned away to uncork the bottle and give him a chance to look around. In truth, this was a vintage she’d been saving for a quiet moment alone tonight—but it would taste just as fine with company. As she filled both cups, she could hear him shifting on his feet behind her.

“Thank you,” he repeated again as she turned back. His voice was a gentle tenor, and there was a nervous tremble on the first word. 

“So.” She offered the wine out to him—he was careful not to touch her fingers as he accepted it. “What shall I call you?”

“Geraldus,” he blurted out. Clearly not taking up her veiled offer to give a pseudonym. When his doelike eyes finally met hers again, they were unsure. “Can—could I ask your name?”

She gave him another easy smile and replied with the usual. Not returning his honesty—but when did she ever?

“Very nice to meet you.” And young Geraldus actually dipped his head in a little bow to her. Oh, she would have this one fast asleep in half an hour.

“What a gentleman,” she laughed, finding herself harmlessly charmed by the gesture. “The pleasure’s all mine. Seat?” 

She sank back down on the edge of the bed while leaving plenty of space for a gap. For a moment Geraldus froze, and she was afraid she’d broken him. Then he followed suit wordlessly, wine in hand, and took a seat on the very far corner of the mattress.

Really should bother Amira for some chairs, she noted to herself. Then again, most of the clientele didn’t mind beds as much as Geraldus apparently did.

At least he was drinking. It would help him forget his nerves, and she was pleased to see Geraldus take a long drought as his eyes roamed across the room again over the edge of his cup.

She took a savoring sip. “Good, isn’t it?”

“It’s sweet,” he agreed in surprise. “It doesn’t burn like—” He caught himself, looking sheepishly at her. “That is, it’s better than the wine back home.”

“Where’s home for you, Geraldus?” She tried and failed to imagine such a gentle soul growing up on the streets of Baldur’s Gate.

“Nowhere special,” he said, looking down to swirl the liquid in his cup. “Just a little village in the Greenfields.”

“Ah—” She half-reclined with an elbow on the mattress, and felt a grin rise to her face in spite of herself. “Yeah, that’s firmly ale country. Damn good ale, though.”

Geraldus’s face finally relaxed. “You’re from Greenfields too?”

“Just lived there for a while. Long enough to miss it after a few years in the Gate. Let me guess, was your family in barley or sheep?”

“Sheep,” he laughed, and she admired how handsome he was with a touch more confidence. “On rainy days I can still smell the wool.”

“You think sheep are bad? Try pigs.” She cocked a brow at him and took another drink.

Geraldus looked at her as though trying to tell whether she was joking. “There’s no way someone like you has mucked out a pig stall.”

“Why not?”

“You’re a lady,” he protested, as if that ended the discussion. “You drink Amnian wine, you smell like lavender—” Geraldus straightened up slightly, looking as though he'd given too much away. 

She found she enjoyed his guilelessness. She had no regrets about the comforts this life afforded her, but ‘lady’ was a stretch. Still, manners were always appreciated.

“How else do you think I paid my way here?” She teased him. “Selling my best sows set me up quite nicely my first year in Wrym’s Crossing.”

The subjects of life in the country compared to life in Baldur’s Gate took them far. She refilled their wine twice, eventually just leaving the bottle within arm’s reach on the floor. Geraldus had relaxed enough to mirror her pose and lean back on his elbow; she brought her feet up on the bed to curl into a comfortable shape beside him.

Perhaps sleepiness and the wine were going to her own head…but Geraldus looked prettier by the minute. She watched the rose-petal curve under his lower lip as he spoke, not catching what he was saying. His eyes were more of a pale green than the hazel gold she’d taken them for at first. Or maybe that was just a trick of the candlelight?

As she pondered, she realized that he had grown silent and was watching her face in turn. She'd angled herself closer to him involuntarily while he spoke. They were close enough she could hear the shallow note of his breathing.

“Can I ask you something?” She requested, breaking the quiet. Geraldus nodded.

“Why exactly did you come here tonight? You’re not the usual type,” she added, and touched her fingers to his free hand in an attempt to soften the observation.

“Oh.” Geraldus fiddled with the neck of the wine glass in his hand. “It wasn’t really my idea. Not that—this is nice,” he said in a rush, and she felt his fingers twining up through hers on the bedspread. “Not like I expected.”

She cocked her head. “Did you expect me to eat you up?” Not a bad idea, she thought, glancing over the lines of his body under his jerkin.

“No!” He blurted out in surprise. “Maybe? I don’t know…it just happened so fast. Entharl pushed me out the doors before I knew where I was. Said I was too gloomy for usual company,” he added, looking down at his boots. 

So that confirmed her earlier suspicions. Harpers may be discreet, but it was hard to miss things when you worked down the street from what was almost certainly one of their safehouses. Which meant poor Geraldus must have been sent here tonight for comforting as much as pleasuring.

“Have you had a bad day?” She asked gently.

His large eyes met hers with a long look. For a moment, he almost seemed close to tears. “Bad week,” he answered.

She brushed the back of his hand with her thumb. “Would you like to talk about it?”

Vehemently, he shook his head at her.

“What would you like to do then, Geraldus? You can tell me.”

“I don't know…I’m not sure.” His throat bobbed as he swallowed hard. “Can I kiss you?”

In answer, she took the wine glass from his hand and set it at the foot of the bed beside her own. Then she reclined parallel to him, tilting her face up in an open offer.

Without another word, he leaned down to press his lips to hers. He trembled slightly against her, whether from nerves or from a more sober emotion she couldn’t tell. She brought a hand up to his hair regardless, smoothing and tucking the dark waves back behind one lightly pointed ear.

Their lips slid together softly like that for a long moment. Eventually she felt Geraldus relaxing against her mouth. But his frame still hovered over her, as if he wasn’t sure where to put his weight.

Without breaking the kiss, she guided his far arm to her side. Though she’d placed it there herself, the feel of his large palm pressing against her waist stirred a pleasant warmth in her belly. She clasped both hands behind his neck, encouraging him to lean down further over her while they kissed.

When he left his lips parted for a few seconds, she took the chance to gently touch her tongue to his. Geraldus made a soft, eager sound against her, returning the gesture with enthusiasm. His mouth was warm and sweet and tasted of rich Amnian wine.

While kissing him was lovely, she was increasingly curious to know how else she might take this poor boy’s mind off his apparent troubles. When she pulled away, Geraldus’s face trailed after hers as though reluctant to end the kiss.

“Would you like me to kiss you anywhere else, darling?”

Geraldus blinked down at her, perhaps thrown by the pet name. “Where else is there?”

It brought a laugh from her, and she curled her fingers through the dark locks behind his neck. “You really don’t know how this works, do you.”

His eyes widened with a nervousness that only confirmed her suspicions. 

“I've been with a woman before,” he answered defensively. 

“Oh?” She continued petting his hair, keeping her tone light and unteasing. “Have you been kissed other places, then? By men or women?”

From there, it was easy to suss out the exact limits of his experience. It came as no shock that no one had ever put their lips anywhere but his mouth. Not his neck, his chest, his cock—that last fact she withheld her kisses from him until he admitted, flushing profusely right up to his dark hair all the while. 

She found herself speaking more plainly than usual. “Geraldus, first I’d like to help you out of these clothes. Then I’d like to suck you off before I ride you. How does that sound?”

That had most certainly broken him. He stammered and blushed somehow darker; she could practically feel the heat radiating off his face above hers.

Finally, he managed a breathless response of “yes, please.”

She drew his lips in against hers again as she went to work. She felt him reach a hand to the buckles under his side, but she was already springing them open on both right and left.

“How do you know—” He began, impressed, before quieting as the realization hit him. She slid the leather pieces up over his head and leaned in to give him a quick, enthusiastic kiss. When his linen tunic followed, she kept him held back for a moment with a hand splayed over his sternum.

Gods damn, but they grew them right back in Greenfields. 

Geraldus was broad-shouldered and lean, with firm bands of muscle beneath the pale skin of his arms and chest and stomach. From the sinews in his forearms and the strong cut of his shoulders, she guessed he handled a longbow quite often.

As her eyes raked over him with open appreciation, she caught sight of a shining scar across his left side. Young he may be, but his body already bore evidence of his chosen profession. She reached to brush down the line of it with her fingers; Geraldus shivered but tilted slightly into her hand.

“Didn’t get that shepherding,” she observed.

“No,” Geraldus agreed. He licked his lips again—the gesture was much more intriguing combined with shirtlessness. She hooked her thumbs over the waist of his pants in suggestion.

“Wait,” he requested, his gentle voice trembling again. She watched his eyes moving over the curves under her thin robe. “Can I?”

She leaned back and stretched her arms up over the pillows, arching her back in invitation. 

Slowly and deliberately, as if unwrapping an expensive gift, his fingers reached for the tie at her waist. She watched with satisfaction as he drew the garment open to each side to expose the bare length of her body. His lips parted in admiration as he took her in.

“Can I touch you?” Geraldus asked in a whisper.

“Anywhere you like,” she assured him.

To her delight, Geraldus fell over her and began eagerly exploring her chest with his lips. When his hot mouth closed over the hard peak of one breast, she hummed in approval and ran her nails up through his long hair. It seemed to encourage him; his calloused palm moved to cup the other.

“Tonight’s for you, darling,” she reminded him lazily, not really in a hurry to interrupt him.

He responded between hungry swirls of his tongue. “I’d kiss you here if you’d let me,” he said, and his hand actually slid from her breast to land boldly above the apex of her thighs.

“Absolutely not,” she laughed against his brow. “Gods, you’re unbelievable—how dare those Harpers keep you hidden away so long? Sure you don’t have a little sweetheart in Rivington?”

“Of course not—” There was a wet sound as he released her breast to stare up at her, wide-eyed. “I wouldn’t be here if—if I was—”

She clasped his jaw in a hand to kiss him again, drowning out whatever earnest response he was trying to make to her teasing. “If you’re very, very good tonight, I’ll sit on your pretty face. How about that?”

“Gods,” he groaned, and that pretty face landed between her breasts. “Would you?”

She looked down at him quizzically. “You honestly want to, don’t you?”

His cheeks flushed a deep pink. “Yes,” he admitted.

“As long as you’re a good boy, then,” she told him. With a firm shove, she sent him sitting back on his heels at the end of the bed. “Now take off your pants, Geraldus.”

He scrambled to obey, kicking off his boots before his fingers fumbled at the laces of his trousers. She lay back and watched him with genuine anticipation. From the size of the tent straining at his front, she already suspected that the gods had given to him with both hands.

And what a delightful bit of justice in a harsh world—for young Harper Geraldus to be blessed with such a big cock.

His impressive length stood stiff at attention, skin a lovely smooth pink—and the size of him. Not the biggest she'd had, but much closer than his blushing shyness had led her to believe.

She crooked one finger at him where he stood in a come-hither motion. He crawled up the bed eagerly, but she shifted away to the side at the last minute. “On your back,” she directed him. 

Geraldus obeyed again, his tall frame collapsing into the pillows as he watched her shuck the robe all the way back off her shoulders. She curled up into his side, tracing a finger down the firm, fair planes of his chest and stomach. He shivered under her touch.

Then her fingers closed gently around his base—barely fitting a third of his length in her grip. She pumped him a few slow times from base to tip. It would require most of her creativity to take him, either with her mouth or her cunt.

But if anyone deserved both, it was the young man currently squirming and whining in her bed. She could tell Geraldus was struggling to quell the instinct to thrust up faster into her grip. No doubt trying to be good enough to earn what she’d promised, judging by the way his wide eyes were fixed in anticipation on her face. She clenched her thighs together at the thought of having his eager mouth between them.

“I can see why no one’s put lips to your cock before,” she mused, enjoying the way his dark brows screwed up just from the unhurried strokes of her hand.

“W-why?” His tenor had shot up to a strained pitch. She loosened her grasp completely—it would be too easy to finish him like that.

“You’ve got enough to choke on,” she told him, and climbed between his legs. “But don’t worry, I’m quite good at this.”

Before he could clear his expression from its jumbled mixture of shock and hope, she leaned to take his tip softly over her tongue.

His body made a sharp jackknife at the waist, and Geraldus let out a word much filthier than she expected. But she was ready for his physical reaction—the weight of her forearms on his hips kept them firmly planted into the mattress.

She slid her mouth over him, relaxing her jaw to take him all the way to the back of her throat before releasing everything but the very tip of his cock. She continued the motion several times until saliva trickled down the rest of his length. Then she returned her hand to his base, twisting her grip to meet her lips with each motion.  

She took him just like that, giving attention to his full length, relishing the way his smooth tip bumped the back of her throat with each thrust. He whimpered and begged incoherently above her at the sensations of her mouth and hand taking him in tandem. Could he already be as close as he sounded?

Just as the thought occurred, she felt his legs tense on either side of her own. Almost disappointed, she instantly slid her mouth off him with a wet kiss of release. 

Geraldus made a sound like a sob at the absence. When she glanced up, there were actual tears pricking at the corners of his dark eyelashes.

“Dearest,” she murmured up to him. It was far too tempting to apologize to that face; she placed nipping kisses along his thighs instead. “You deserve to feel my cunt first, don't you think?”

“Yes,” he groaned, obviously trying to master the strain in his voice. It suddenly seemed like a very good time to reward his patience.

“Be a good boy and slide down,” she urged him, already moving up around his straining erection on her knees to straddle his waist.

That brought a spark of hope to his eyes. Geraldus frantically gripped her torso for leverage, tugging her bodily up the bedcovers as he somehow nudged each of his broad shoulders through the gap in her legs. As he settled her above him, he stared up at the slick view between her thighs like a penitent.

“Smack me twice if you can’t breathe,” she told him, giving his dark locks a teasing pull to try and get his attention. The way he nodded left her unconvinced he’d heard.

Deciding he looked ready enough, she lowered herself firmly over his waiting mouth.

For all his obvious inexperience, the instant heat and enthusiasm of his tongue was a pleasant start. Her eyelashes fluttered in satisfaction as he painted firm strokes up her folds, just barely reaching her peak.

“Good,” she praised with a sigh. “Higher—”

He listened attentively despite wearing her thighs clasped around the delicate points of his ears. His hands rose to her hips as he angled his mouth higher, finally hitting the spot where she needed him most. Her toes curled where they were pressed over his biceps.

He was completely unpracticed, but he had good enough instincts to keep the pace steady as she rocked herself against his face. She imagined his hips bucking uselessly into the air behind her, desperate to wet his neglected cock in the folds his tongue was parting.

“Pretty Geraldus,” she sighed, her hand a fist in his dark hair, trying to keep her wits about her as she felt a twitching climax build at her core. “Shall I come on your tongue?”

His eyes flew wide between her legs. In answer, strong forearms gripped tighter over each of her thighs, holding her down onto the now-frantic lapping of his tongue over her slit. She closed her eyes and arched her back against him, giving way to the heat of his mouth desperately sucking and licking her closer to the edge.

With one last tug on his hair, she shuddered against him and rode out her orgasm over his tongue. She felt a gush of arousal from her center flow out over his lips. Geraldus moaned something against her flesh, but the words dissolved into a hum that ran straight to her core and reverberated as another shiver of pleasure up her spine.    

With effort, she pushed herself back to sit on his chest, freeing his arms. Geraldus gasped for air slightly, but his expression was drunk with pleasure and a bit of pride. His mouth and chin were painted wet with her arousal.

“Such a good boy,” she purred in praise. “Getting me ready to take that big cock of yours—” Before he could respond, she reached to swipe her thumb along the wet line of his jaw, then nudged at the juncture of his lips.

He understood immediately, obediently sucking her finger into his mouth and cleaning her release off with his tongue. She felt his hips rocking involuntarily behind her.

With a smooth shift of her weight, she landed with her bare chest pressed to his and pushed her wet slit back against the top of his cock.

“Oh,” Geraldus whined above her, and his beautiful eyes squeezed shut at the feeling. She continued slicking her folds up and down his length to wet him, all the while watching the way his face screwed up as if pained. His fingers flew to grip around hers where they lay over his ribs. 

It was difficult enough to line up her opening with his cock from this angle—let alone while having both hands held hostage under his own. Using his firm stomach as leverage, she pushed up to straddle him against her and then sank down. It seated the tip of him perfectly inside her. 

Just that first stretch was delicious. Geraldus seemed to feel the same; his hands released hers, instead landing on her hips with an enthusiastic squeeze. But he panted obediently under her, eyelids still shut tight, waiting for her to take him further.

Little by little, she eased herself down onto each inch of him, her jaw falling slack as he stretched her walls to their limit. Finally her hips landed to slot against his own. 

She stayed there for a moment, relishing the utter fullness of having his cock entirely buried within her. The ache at her opening was slowly tipping from a twinge of pain to a throb of pleasure.

But she wouldn’t be able to ride him from this angle. Instead, she leaned forward to grasp his strong shoulders and braced her arms straight against them. “Geraldus, look at me.”

His eyes fluttered open then, and landed on her face where it hovered above his. She took in his parted lips, the aquiline line of his nose, the youthful smoothness of his brow marred by a pleading wrinkle as he waited for her to move. And his expressive eyes, which she now decided with certainty were a pretty shade of hazel—currently traveling over her face as if trying to read her thoughts. 

“You are the loveliest man,” she told him with utter sincerity. And I’m going to fuck you until you forget everything but my cunt.

With his eyes still on her, she slid her hips up and back down over his length. A guttural, breathy sound rose straight from his chest. She continued working him in and out of her tight wetness, finding a slow but steady pace that was just barely past the edge of teasing for both of them.

“Oh, Gods—” His hands spasmed against her hips, as if he wanted to bounce her faster on him but wasn’t sure whether it was permitted.

She took the cue herself. She ground her hips into his at a more brisk clip—and bit her lip hard at the sensation of his tip knocking deep inside her with each thrust. At this angle and pace, he filled her to the point of incoherence.

After being taken up to the edge of release by her mouth, she could tell Geraldus was already close again. When her fingers brushed up over his hard nipples, he let out a shuddering whine of pleasure. His hard length twitched against her walls.

At once, she slowed to grind her hips into him, relishing the pressure of his hard cock filling her so fully. He panted at yet another denial, and she felt his calloused fingertips digging into the flesh of her hips. Geraldus gazed up at her with a plea for more.

“Have you been good enough to come in me?” She studied his face unhurried, admiring the way his fair brow screwed up in anguish and pleasure at the question. “What do you think, darling?”

“Yes,” he begged, too sweet to know he was strong enough to fuck her at whatever pace he wanted, even from this angle. “Please, yes, I have—”

She splayed her fingers across his chest, rocking herself deeper atop him. “Ask me for it.”

“Please,” he whined prettily, his eyes shining with tears again. “Please, please, I’ve been good, I swear—Gods, let me come inside you, please—”

He was so earnest, so beyond desperate, it would be unthinkably cruel to deny him. She leaned both hands back on his thighs and rode him hard, using the angle to drive his cock into her center again and again. Stars swelled across her vision; each thrust sent his considerable length pounding against the limits of her insides. She closed her eyes against another rush of pleasure to her core, listening to the sweet way Geraldus whimpered her name.

Large palms pressed hard against her lower back—the angle of him shifted inside her as he leaned up to muffle his sounds into the skin of her breast. Then his arms and legs shuddered as he released inside her, spilling and twitching against her walls. She rode him out through it, as best she could with the way he clutched her to him, wanting him to feel every last scrap of pleasure.

Her own climax hit her like the snap of a bowstring. She found her arms clenching around his shoulders for balance, as if she might tumble away on the wave that rushed through her body. 

Geraldus supported her firmly, sweet thing that he was, holding her tight despite the way his own limbs trembled.

After a while of him holding her straddled on his lap, the pressure between her legs turned to an ache. She stifled a wince as she shifted to slide off him. Even his softening length was a stretch for her tender and likely now bruised insides. She chided herself for riding him so enthusiastically before—she knew better than that. 

As she began to pull away further, Geraldus clutched his arms tight around her back.

“We just need a towel,” she explained, turning to kiss the tip of his ear. “Did you think I was leaving?”

“No,” he lied, growing sheepish again, but his arms loosened to let her up.

She returned with a soft cloth for each of them. He reached for one, but she knelt beside the bed to neatly clean him. Even now, he was still too green to grasp exactly how this all worked.

And the mess between her own legs could wait; by now his release had already dripped out of her to generously coat her thighs.

Once they were both tidy, she rose to her feet and smoothed back a stray lock of his hair. “Would you like me to draw you a bath?”

Geraldus shook his head, looking up at her with sleepy affection.

“Would you like to go to bed, then?”

His eyes filled with innocent delight. “I can stay?”

She considered telling him that after the sum his keepers had no doubt paid, he could do a great many more things with her. But it might be nice to surprise him with that in the morning. 

Instead, she raked her fingers through his hair and tilted his face up for a soft kiss. “Of course, darling.”

She moved on rather unsteady legs to snuff all the candles, then helped guide him under the covers through the dark. 

When it came to sleeping, she didn’t usually care to share her bed with others. Tonight she found herself in an unusually generous mood. Geraldus was long-limbed and full of wiry muscle, yet every bit as gentle as a lamb. 

As she settled herself under the blankets, he notched his face up against her shoulder and rested an arm securely across her middle. She leaned her cheek against his dark hair like a pillow. The feel of being weighed down by his body against her side was comforting in a way she didn’t expect.

“I love you,” Geraldus abruptly sighed against her neck.

She let out a sleepy breath of laughter that ruffled the locks of his hair. 

“No you don’t,” she told him gently, and pressed a kiss to his brow. “You just really, really needed that.”

[gorey-gorella]

People who say Ozai is Azula's parallel and Iroh is Zuko's only look at the surface level.

Both Azula and Ozai are younger siblings and big bad and a little crazy.

Iroh and Zuko are the older brothers and the good guys who wish they could help there younger siblings.

Yes, this is true, but obvious and surface level.

Ozai is literally meant to be a Zuko of a different generation. He was drawn to look like an older, scarless Zuko.

Ozai is insecure and has a little brother complex, yes, but he is the least favourite. He probably thinks Iroh has it all. He clearly isn't liked by Azulon, he, like Zuko, keeps trying to prove himself and take the throne.

When I learned that Azula actually never really wanted the throne, was content as a Princess, and simply was doing what her father wished, it made me realise more similarities to Iroh. Iroh didn't seem obsessed with being the Firelord and was content in his place, even when he was a War Lord.

A younger Ozai won't go Azula crazy. Azulon has high expectations for him, yes, but not as high as Iroh and Azulon was never proud of him anyways, so why would Ozai go Azula crazy?

Ozai, while stoic and manipulative, he never came across as the actor type of manipulator. Iroh and Azula are good actors though.

Ozai, like Zuko, is desperate for approval, not as much scared of losing their lack of approval as say, Azula. Like yes, they would worry about that too, but not as much as Azula.

If Iroh was more determined to make his father happy and didn't fall into depression and apathy, he would be like Azula, and he would continue the seige.

Ozai and Zuko want to hear, 'Yes, you are worthy, and you are worthy enough to sir on the throne and be the Firelord.'

Azula and Iroh just don't want their fathers to second guess and still want to be in there fathers graces.

Iroh could have easily become almost exactly Azula if he came back from cancelling the seige, and Azulon showed doubt in him subtlety and started letting someone else do some of Iroh's duties. Or, if in Ba Sing Se, he thought of how his father would feel and burnt down the city anyway. But Iroh doesn't have the obsession and stuff Azula has, and he most likely had more emotional support in his life.

Azula was pushed to the breaking point when her father said she would look after the Fire Nation as he will burn Ba Sing Se. While not obvious, Ozai probably felt a distrust when she lied to him about Zuko finishing off the Avatar.

In an age down AU where they are around the same age, Iroh would probably be more likely to go Azula crazy than Ozai, especially if he was just as obsessed with making his own father proud and be in his good grace, because the whole point of Azula's mental breakdown was the role of perfectionism being placed on her and everyone betraying her.

[live-laugh-legolas]

Heelloooo!!! Your headcanons always make my day, I was thinking what the fellowship would give on y/n's birthday.. since it's also my birthday today :3

not forcing you to do this, good luck though!!

Happy birthday!!

The Fellowship on your Birthday

Aragorn:

-He keeps things simple and sweet

-He probably has a nice dinner prepared

-He seems like the type to gift you some sort of charm that is supposed to bring you good luck or something

-Maybe it’s a necklace, or a pin, or maybe even an engraved knife

Legolas:

-Elves I doubt really celebrate birthdays; or when they do it’s for like every 1000 years

-But he is told he should celebrate yours so he makes an effort

-Perhaps too much of an effort; he probably gifts you a literal horse or something because he isn’t sure what would be an appropriate gift

-The reason I’m saying that is I imagine him over hearing the classic little kid wanting a pony and he assumes this is what you give someone

-However I also heard somewhere that elves maybe celebrate yearly the date of conception rather than birth but I’m not positive on this

Gimli:

-Big feast planned all in your honor

-He will never turn down the chance to have a big party

-I imagine dwarves often gift jewelry or oriental type weapons (but ones you can use, not just for display)

-Lots and lots of singing; and the party goes well into the morning

Boromir:

-You know that family member who is purposely trying to embarrass you on your birthday?

-That’s him

-My aunt calls every year and sings Happy Birthday so loud and bad but it’s always a highlight

-He does things like this; grand solo performance of the song (but he has taken creative liberties with it)

-He would gift a very nice new cloak or boots

-He gives practical gifts; but always really nice ones

Frodo, Sam, Merry, & Pippin

-I don’t generally group anyone together for hcs but the Hobbits are known to have kinda of strict standards for birthdays

-Birthdays are a time for grand celebration for Hobbits and there will be a big party

-The one being celebrated both receives gifts but more so they give gifts

-I believe they only receive gifts from those closest to them; but you are close to them so you get one

-Our hobbits would give you something in private to keep it personal

-Frodo would maybe give you some books or a nice new quill for writing

-Sam would make you a really tasty cake and would plant pretty flowers outside your house

-Merry is a rich boy and would give you some sort of fancy trinket; I’m picturing a telescope or something

-He would also be very sneaky in finding out exactly what you want; I mean he is canonically kinda a spy/detective with how he figured out the ring

-And lastly Pippin would steal a firework from Gandalf to give to you…

Gandalf:

-His gift is entertainment with his fireworks

-I could also picture him giving you nice socks

-Idk why

———————————————————————

I hope you have a great birthday! I’m sorry that this is kinda short and messy but I wanted to get it out today; and I’m also not someone who is good at knowing what to give people so thinking of gifts was kinda hard ngl lol.

I also didn’t do any research on the customs of the different races birthday celebrations; this was all from my memory which is often jumbled

[herslvt]

K-pop Soft Thoughts with Ateez Maknae Line

From a black female writer-

My men 🤭 anyway enjoy there are no warnings unless you think Jasmine is better than Rapunzel…then we got a problem.

Hyung version

ATEEZ members who spoil the literal hell out of you and treat you like a princess in their own individual ways, but this time featuring the sassy members because they’re princesses too and you can’t say otherwise!

San! Who loves to feed you not in a teasing way, but in an ‘I love you and I want the best for you’ type way. You’ll just be sitting on the couch minding your business and he’ll come up to you, favorite snack in hand and feed you. He knows he doesn’t have too but he wants too so he does.

San! Who adores you so much you’re glued at the hip, and when you’re not glued at the hip he’s got you on FaceTime because in his words he can’t breath if you’re not there, when you two are together he’ll wrap you in his arms and continue to complain about you not being close enough. If he could have you under his skin he would which is insane because you and him both know he’ll be fine but he just has to be a little dramatic first. (I love pushing the clingy Ateez agenda)

Mingi! Who once dedicated a song to you, but it made him so shy he refused to tell you about it for months. When he finally let you listen to it, he wasn’t expecting much of a reaction from you but you ended up breaking down in tears which then led to him doing the same. He wasn’t expecting you to like it but you did and he was happy.

Mingi! Who literally gets shy when you call him princess minki as a joke. He’s so used to Atiny and the members doing it to tease him so when you did it for the first time he was definitely flustered. He wouldn’t admit it but he thought it was adorable how you addressed him in that way every time he entered a room you were in. Regardless though, you were his baby and he wouldn’t let you forget that even if you called him princess for fun,

Wooyoung! Who debates with you on who the best Disney princesses are but ultimately gives into your opinion because he loves you (you threatened him) even then he still will refuse to admit Rapunzel was better than Jasmine but you let it slide just for now. He did agree with you that Mulan and Tiana were number 1 so you gave him the benefit of the doubt. (Bro I feel like all of them would do this at some point, just sit and argue w you over Disney movies and stuff)

Wooyoung! Who accidentally on purpose buys two of everything or always orders extra of whatever. He just got a new jacket? Just so happens they sent him an extra. He got food? Suddenly he ate earlier and isn’t as hungry. You know he’s doing it on purpose, but you won’t acknowledge it. He wants you to have whatever he has and if that means buying everything for two he doesn’t mind, though he knows you’ll just complain about his being better anyway. (Strong believer that Jongho would do the same.)

Jongho! Who will sing you to sleep. You beg him to sing to you and he always refuses, but when he knows your drifting off to sleep and barely still in this world he’ll sing a song that you love to relax you and as much as he refuses to admit it he enjoys it. The way he can feel you relaxing in his arms when he starts softly singing melts his heart.

Jongho! Who cherishes his time with you so much he has to take a picture whenever you’re together. Though they never leave the confines of his gallery, he likes looking at them when you’re not around. He has pictures of you doing any and everything, you in the kitchen looking for food, you walking back to the couch to sit down. He doesn’t care what you’re doing, the more domestic the better. You’re his home though he’d never admit it. You don’t even know to the extent of his picture taking goes. He even has a picture of you scratching an itch and he absolutely does not care.

[rottenpumpkin13]

how's Father's Day going for the boys?

Not well.

-

Sephiroth stared at the screen, his eyes drawn to the email from Professor Hojo.

Subject: Happy Father's Day

Dearest Sephiroth,

Today marks an opportunity to contemplate the pivotal role fathers play in shaping the lives of their offspring. Beyond providing, a father’s duty encompasses the profound responsibility of guiding and molding their offspring into exceptional individuals. Sons, especially, should acknowledge the sacrifices and wisdom imparted by their paternal figures, appreciating the path laid before them and aspiring to surpass their achievements.

Remember, that as you progress and excel every success reflects the foundation established by paternal influence. Let today remind you of that.

Cordially,

Professor Hojo

“—displaying behavior that sours your image to the public,” Genesis quoted, followed by a scoff. “As if attending a pride parade is the worst thing I could do.” He rolled his chair over the extension cord attached to Sephiroth's computer rhythmically, as if the sound would be enough to drown out the memory of the conversation he just had with his father over the phone.

Every roll of the wheel dug into Angeal's skull, intensifying his headache. He groaned, but doubted they could hear it—not Genesis over the sound of his own voice or Sephiroth over his typing.

Sephiroth hummed critically. “Are you sure it wasn’t about the scandalous activity you were caught up in during the parade? What was it again, the impromptu dance-off on the float?”

Genesis huffed. “It was a celebration, Sephiroth, not a scandal. And I wasn’t caught up in anything scandalous. Just because I have a bit more fun than you doesn’t mean I’m tarnishing our image.”

Sephiroth stopped typing, a beat, then: “Whatever you say—though I think using that man as a dancing pole was a bit much.”

“Jealousy, jealousy,” Genesis sing-songed mockingly.

The typing persisted, as did Genesis rolling around on the chair. Angeal groaned again, stretching out and closing his eyes. “You two sound like an old married couple,” he muttered.

“We are, at most, divorced,” Sephiroth remarked dryly.

“You started it,” Genesis pointed out.

“Just making sure you know how to manage your reputation."

Genesis rolled his eyes dramatically before rolling behind the couch, also dramatically. “If being boring like you was anything to go by I'm sure my reputation would be squeaky clean.”

Angeal finally squeezed his eyes open just in time to catch Genesis roll by in a flash of red. “It’s Father’s Day, Gen. I’m sure your father was just worried. Maybe try seeing it from his perspective.”

Genesis started spinning, and from his peripheral view Angeal was certain he would fall over at any moment.

“You know better than anyone that I've been trying to do that all my life. It’s just... I wish he’d understand that I’m just being me.” he stopped spinning and planted his feet on the ground.

"At least our relationship has gotten better over time.” He looked up to meet Sephiroth’s curious eyes. “It used to be worse,” he clarified.

Sephiroth continued typing rapidly even as he nodded. "You know, there’s a study that shows people’s relationships with their parents tend to improve with age."

Genesis scoffed, raising an eyebrow. "Is that the case for you? With Professor Hojo?"

Sephiroth laughed dryly. "Yes, it is. I’ve learned to ignore him much better with age."

Angeal didn't match the laughter they fell into. He brought his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around them, making himself as small as possible.

From a distance, anyone glancing his way would see nothing more than a huddled ball on the couch.

He huffed before digging his mouth into his arm. “At least they're alive,” he mumbled.

The sound of Sephiroth's typing stopped. Genesis’ office chair ceased its rolling, and the silence that followed was enough to make Angeal bite his tongue.

Genesis’ forced laugh caught him off guard. “Would you like a medal for that?”

Sephiroth spun around in his own chair. “That’s enough, Genesis.”

“Why? It’s true.” Genesis was looking at him now, Angeal could feel it. “You think Sephiroth wouldn’t trade his abusive father for a dead, good father?”

“You’re being insensitive,” Seph warned.

“Oh, am I?” Genesis shot back, standing up from his chair. “Maybe you’re the one who doesn’t understand. I’m tired of everyone walking on eggshells around this topic. We all have our issues with our fathers. No one gets to win the trauma olympics just because theirs are dead.”

Angeal slowly unfurled himself, sitting up to level Gen's glare. “Losing a parent isn’t something you can just brush off. I'm not saying I have it worse just because—”

“And living with a parent who doesn’t give a damn about you is any better?” Genesis’s voice was sharp, his eyes blazing as he swiftly cut him off. “At least you can remember your father fondly. At least you have good memories, old friend.”

Sephiroth stepped between them, his voice cold. “This isn’t helping anyone. Enough. This isn’t how we solve things.”

Genesis scoffed, his anger still simmering as he turned to Seph. “You’re one to talk about solving things, Sephiroth. You’ve never faced your issues head-on. You just ignore them and hope they go away.”

Sephiroth didn't bite, and Angeal would've commended him for it had he not wished Sephiroth would slap Genesis. “I deal with my issues in my own way. This isn’t about me. It’s about respecting each other’s pain.”

Angeal finally snapped. “Easy for you to say,” he stood up to look Sephiroth in the eye, “First thing out of my mouth when I saw you this morning was asking how you were feeling.”

He whirled around to meet Genesis, and from the way his friend looked at him, he could tell Genesis had gotten used to Angeal's silence. “And I told you that you didn't have to call your father if you didn't feel ready to, but you did it anyway.”

Sephiroth tried: “Angeal—”

“Not once did either of you ask about me.” Angeal reached up to wipe away a stubborn tear. “Because I have it handled, right? Is that what you think?” He tried to swallow down the onslaught of ugly words threatening to spill, but was unsuccessful.

“If we were to put everything into perspective, yeah, Sephiroth, you had it way worse, and still do because you have to look at that poor excuse for a father every week.”

Sephiroth didn't look away, but he didn't say anything either, which is when Genesis cut in.

“At least you had—”

“—both parents who loved me,” Angeal finished for him, biting his lip, nodding, and letting the tears fall freely. He was sick of this. “Can't complain can I?”

He pushed past them, breaking for the door as he threw it open. “I can never fucking complain.”

Angeal stumbled into the hallway, his vision blurred with tears. He put as much distance between himself and the conference room as possible, his sobs echoing softly as he tried his best to get them under control.

With trembling hands, he reached into his hoodie and pulled out the photograph, the once-vibrant colors now yellowed by time. He had been staring at it all morning, marveling at how the wounds of loss reopened fresh each time he did so.

It had been at the autumn festival in Banora, him and his father holding caramel Banora white apples, both smiling. His mother had taken the photo when he was about eight, a time he would give anything to relive, knowing that his father's health would come to deteriorate within the year.

Genesis had never experienced such loss, and Sephiroth had his share, with Professor Gast's being the reason him and Angeal found common ground after Angeal's father passed. This thought briefly made Angeal feel guilty for claiming they couldn't understand, yet the overwhelming pain and grief clouded his ability to judge as he normally would.

Grief was ugly. It was a veil of conflicting emotions tarnishing joyous memories with a cloud of sorrow and dread. It swept you away in waves of confusion and anger, and became a constant companion that never left your side no matter how much you willed it away.

Angeal was tired today; he was tired of being the pillar of support for everyone else, of pretending to embody what a father should be when he yearned for his own father's presence. Tired—and maybe he could use that excuse coupled with the unpredictability of grief to make peace with how unreasonable he had been.

Ironically, in response to his wish, Angeal's phone buzzed with a message from Dr. Hollander, summoning him to the laboratory.

Wiping away his tears, Angeal headed for the elevator, unaware that he was about to get his wish in the most twisted way—he was about to spend Father's Day with his father.

Back in the conference room, Sephiroth was stunned as he watched Angeal slam the door. The reverberation of the impact echoed in the silence, cutting through the silent tension left in the wake of their argument.

Genesis, flustered and defensive, began to spout a flurry of ugly words, trying to justify his own actions as he paced back and forth.

Sephiroth, barely listening to Genesis, walked back to his chair and sat down gingerly. For a moment, he simply stared at his computer screen, the words blurring together.

“Genesis,” Sephiroth said quietly, interrupting his frantic words. “Enough. Please.”

Genesis stopped mid-sentence, turning to face Sephiroth. “What?”

“Just... enough.” Sephiroth’s voice was soft but firm. “We’ve done enough damage for today.”

Genesis hesitated, his anger dissipating into uncertainty as he sank back down into his chair. “I... I didn’t mean to hurt him. I was just...angry. You know that, right?”

“Intent doesn’t change the impact,” Sephiroth said, turning back to his computer and the work he had left unfinished. Sephiroth scrolled up, his eyes landing on the half-written reply he had been avidly typing before the argument erupted.

His fingers hovered over the keyboard.

Subject: Re: Happy Father's Day

Professor Hojo,

It is my belief that true fatherhood transcends mere biological ties—it is defined by compassion, guidance, and genuine support for one's child.

Fathers should aspire to create an environment where their children feel safe to explore, grow, and comfortably choose their own paths. This involves not only imparting wisdom but also fostering emotional security and unconditional love.

If one is unable to provide that, he is not a father.

If one does everything in his power to provide the opposite, I doubt he is worthy of being called a man.

Regards,

Your ‘offspring’

Sephiroth sighed, drawing his fingers upward to rub at his eyes. He had intended to have Angeal read over it for an opinion before sending it back. But now—

With a decisive click, Sephiroth highlighted the entire draft and pressed the delete key. The email vanished from his screen, leaving behind only a blank slate.

[argumentl]

Kaoru Interview - Burrn! Japan Vol.23 (Feb 2024)

Interview by You Masuda

FAN TRANSLATION

(Note: This interview was held mid-way through the Phalaris Final tour)

The next person to interview was Kaoru, straight after Die. When I asked Kyo about new material going forward, he simply said, 'Ask Kaoru about that', but to be sure, if there is any member creating the blueprints for future new material, there is no doubt that its Kaoru. Of course, I'm aware that its slightly too soon to be asking such things, but I started the interview hoping to at least pick up a few hints.

ーYou are currently mid-tour, but after finishing both days at Zepp Haneda, how are you feeling about it?

Hmm. Its quite.....exhausting (lol). It consumes a lot of energy, much more than we usually use for live shows. Phalaris has a lot of power packed into it, and you really feel it bearing down on you. I'm not even trying to be that active on stage, but still....its tiring (lol)

ーBy that you mean its something different from physical tiredness?

Yeah, the tone, the content of the show, there is a heaviness to it, its something that you just can't approach half-heartedly.

ーKyo said that the songs are all hard work to sing this time. As for performing, there seems to be a lot of songs that you just can't relax through.

Yeah, its the same when playing. It really questions the type of person who is stood there playing on stage...this isnt the type of stage I can just stand around carelessly on. I mean, not that I'm like that anyway (lol). But there is something about it where I just can't express myself unless I fully throw myself into that world. It feels like a heavy weight crashing down on me for this tour.

ーThis is the third tour in the Phalaris cycle, but I get the feeling the first two rounds were not as heavy as this?

They weren't. The first round was quite tasteful, and in the second round we emphasised the 'live' element of it more, it was like a lighter version. If its too heavy from the beginning, its kinda tough on the audience too.

ーWould you say this is an album with such a heaviness that it requires this kind of considered moderation?

Yeah, but we did think we need to moderate this tour too. If for example, we were to do a single limited live show in a big venue to close Phalaris, that would be even more intense. In the shape of a tour, there are times when we are reaching our absolute limits. Thats how tough it is (lol) It didn't seem right unless each show of the tour encompassed that sense of weight and culmination.

ーIn other words you are almost right at your tipping point?

Yes. If we were to increase the intensity further, there is no doubt that the shows would collapse into chaos...which may be ok in some sense, but then we would be unable to continue touring properly.

ーYou touched on this earlier, but don't you have any plans to do a seperate finale for Phalaris in a big venue at any point?

No, we aren't thinking about that, not for now at least. It doesn't mean there is a zero percent chance, but recently there just isnt the venue availability for that kind of thing. This has been going on for a few years now. If we had been able to find a big venue before announcing the tour, then this tour wouldn't have been seen as the 'Final'. So in a sense, ending Phalaris in this way is very rooted in actuality. It probably still would have been this heavy though, even if it wasn't labeled as the final.

ーFor Uroboros, you held a finale live in Osaka jo Hall after a bit of time had passed. Is there no possibility of such a thing happening for Phalaris?

Well, I don't know. Its a timing issue. If we found the perfect venue at the perfect time, and if we were all mentally in that space....I mean, it will be easier to know as time passes, but if we are mentally for it, there may be a possibility.

ーYour answer has raised my expectations somewhat, but I'm not going to get too carried away for the time being. Have you discovered any new feelings towards this album during the current tour?

Hmm....I've been thinking its a good album (lol)

ーIts not like you to sing your own praises (lol)

Well, I mean, after this, if we realease a new single, there will probably be Phalaris-like elements to it, but even putting that to one side, so many of our past songs just fit really well alongside Phalaris. So I think we have been very true to ourselves with this album. Although it sounds a bit odd for me to say that myself (lol). I'm not entirely sure about the overall balance of the album as a piece of work, but it fits so well with our other songs, there is a mysterious feel to it.

ーFitting with your other songs may have something to do with it, but at the time you completed the album, you also said that it contains every part of Dir en grey. I'm sure you werent consciously thinking that while you were making it though.

No, I think I was at times. Of course, this isn't the end for us, but I was thinking that IF the band were to end now, I would want this to be seen as our best work. So as for consciously putting all of Dir en grey into it, no, I don't think thats wrong.

ーMaking the album with that much conscious effort means its not all new. There are links to the past, as well as that link to pull you forward onto your next step.

Yeah, and I've been feeling this even more so on the current tour. That's why I've been thinking this is a good album (lol)

ーI love hearing this kind of thing from the artists themselves. Hearing about the songs fitting well reminded me...With all these songs from Phalaris in the setlist, certain other songs might also come to mind, but to hear songs like Different Sense and Downfall in there, its like they were meant to be. That may be an odd way to describe it...

Heh, I understand. They wouldn't be out of place even if they were on Phalaris. We didn't choose to include specific types of songs while we were making it, but if you search through our past music there are some things that do just roll into place. Its probably going too far to say I was realising this when completing the album, but I feel like I can see Phalaris more clearly now. With this tour, I really do feel that sense of completion.

ーThat may be what a sense of completion actually means. You finally reach that point after realising for yourself what the flow of your past work has created.

Yes.

ーIn that sense, I think this is a very interesting outcome. But with such an intensity to the show from the outset, there is the possibilty of the audience being left behind at somepoint, if you don't get it exactly right.

Hm, I wonder. Some people might have felt that way about Phalaris 2, but this is just us being us. Its just not blowing up with excitement at the end this time, its kind of a different feeling from what we've done previously. The heaviness of the mid-section of the show is due to us being thorough, but I don't feel like its exceptional (lol)

ーAs you just said about the end of the show, closing with Kamuy is a bit different from the feeling we usually get at the end. Did you choose to play this song last, in line with bringing Phalaris to a close?

Well, it was also the first tour to play Kamuy. If we had played it at previous tours, it might have ended up in a different spot in the setlist. But for sure, to play it for the first time at the final, it could go in no other spot. Even if we were to do a seperate final in a big venue, I think it would still come at the end of the encore, not the end of the main.

ーEnding the live with the disquieting tone of Kamuy in the air, then raising the lights and bidding farewell to the audience...even with this familiar parting scene, its quite different from past tours.

With that we simply just want to say thank you to the people who came. Its a way to express thanks at the end of each show. We could just disappear off stage after Kamuy if we wanted to, but as I was saying before about 'the type of person who is stood on the stage', I want to keep this time that I have to express my thanks to the peole who come to see us. I mean, the 5 of us could all gather together in the centre for a farewell or something too, but that kind of structure somehow doesn't seem very 'us' (lol)

ー Yeah, lets save that for another occasion (lol) By the way, it must have been a difficult transition to go from finishing this phase of Phalaris, to confronting the new single 19990120.

Well, it wasnt easy. We did the 25th anniversary tour last year, so from there it was like, 'Should we do some old stuff?'. We would usually be looking at doing new material at this kinda time, but we talked about it, and what with covid and such, we thought there might be a few people out there who hadn't been to see a live show for a while. So we thought we could use some kind of tool to get more people coming back as we move forward. Not in the sense of making an album of self covers or anything, but since the 25th anniversary of our debut is in Jan 2024, we thought we might as well try something. We just wanna try out what we can, because of course there is always loads that we can't.

ーYeah. Self covers or remakes can give the impression of being backwards looking, but as we talked about how past songs have fit so well in the current tour and helped you realise how far you've come, it could be said that looking afresh at these songs from 25 years ago might be the link to future discoveries.

Whether or not this links to new things is hard to tell untill we do it, that wasn't really in my mind. But for now its more like a tool to stir up the 'Lets go and see Dir en grey again' feeling. I can say this, back in the day there were a lot of so-called heavy bands I used to go and see. I admired them and started my own band, I'm that kind of person too (lol) But I think a lot of people like that eventually start to think 'Ah, I havnt listened to that kind of music for a while', they even stop listening to music at all sometimes. Or if they do listen, its the same stuff they listened to back in the day. I wanted to strike a chord with those kind of people and get them thinking about coming to see a show. As well as letting them connect with Phalaris, its just a good starting point to get back in. So these new remakes are part of a plan, as opposed to something we just really wanted to do.

ーDir en grey have rerecored old songs in the past, but those past remakes have been more about updating old songs to match the contemporary sound of the band. Was there no such intention this time?

Its not like there was NO intention, of course, we wanted to put some of our current selves into them while making them. But we didn't want to change them outright. So in that sense, they are different from our past remakes.

ー Without trying to make any big intentional changes, you wanted the natural differences between then and now to shine through?

Yeah, that kind of thing. I think in that sense, we achieved our aim.

ー I see. I actually dug up an old interview from 25 years ago, and have been re-reading it. In it you were speaking about the background to each song and such, but Kaoru, how did you feel back then about releasing 3 songs at once for your major debut?

I though it was a great talking point, but it was hard work (lol) We had first talked about releasing two songs. So we went to LA with this idea and got to work in the studio, but then it somehow got suggested to do three songs. I honestly didn't even know how we were gonna get even two songs recorded, so I was rather skeptical that we could manage three. (lol)

ーWhat song was number 3?

That was Yurameki. We had started pre-production on all three at first, and sent them to Yoshiki. After that we chose the diametrically opposed Zan and Akuro no oka as the two songs to record. But when we went to LA, it was like, 'Ok, lets just do all three'.

ーI can hear the voice of your producer when you say that (lol). Back then, it wasn't that unusual for two songs to be released as a single at once in this category, but three had a big impact. What kind of things made a big impression on your memory back then?

Firstly, there were a lot of people around. Also, it was non-stop photoshoots and interviews. I was always writing music within this kind of bustling situation. It was really easy to lose focus of where we were heading with it all, so I tried to keep a tight hold on only that. But there were still a lot of days where I just had no idea what I was supposed to be doing.

ーYou were having like, 10 interviews at day, right? Wasn't it a bit like those artists who come to Japan for promotion, but like every day?

Yeah, even for photoshoots we would have 3 different studios booked, going here, going there, interviews in between, every time.

ーI'd like to ask about the three songs. On the new release, Yurameki is song number one. Was there any meaning behind recording them in this order?

After finishing the arangements, when we were starting the recording stage, we thought this order would be good based on how the song starts and ends. Its only for this reason.

ーI was going to ask more about the song order, but as for Yurameki, it was a bit of a curve ball for Dir en grey back in the day, wasn't it?

No, not really. We had melodious songs even then, I didn't think it was that much of a curve ball. Its Shinya's song, but he had been writIng songs during the indies era too. It was a recognition of our Shinya-esque songs.

ーAt the time, you said, 'Its a pop song, but we wanted to change up the style'. Does that mean you thought a lot about how to put it out there?

In the end, if we kept it ordinary, it would end up sounding like a totally ordinary song. I actually paid a lot of attention to parts that you wouldn't notice even if you listened to the song (lol). For example, the chord work. Yoshiki would tell me to do impossible things like, 'How about we try this?'

ーWhat do you mean by 'impossible'?

To put it simply, impossible chords and stuff. (lol) But he would say, 'Its only for the recording, so its ok, right?' So we changed our plans, and recorded all the chords one string at a time, then layered them up to make the sound. Not like playing every string simultaneously, but recording phrases one string at a time. So in the end the texture of the sound came out with more of a bang. I was spending a lot of time on those parts that no-one would probably notice.

ーIn other words, you deconstructed the song during recording.

Yes, I took advantage of the fact that they were chords that couldn't be played normally, and recorded them in a way which was unique to the studio.

ーI see. And about the songs Akuro no Oka and Zan, Yoshiki's opposite comments about both songs are in this old article. You said that for the former, he said he was concerned about the collision of sounds, and for the latter, he said 'I don't care about the collision of sounds'.

Heh, that sounds about right.

ー The collision of sounds. These are words I sometimes hear. In short, its where sounds are mixing at a place and a time where they shouldn't, right?

Yes. Maybe its because I'm a guitarist, but I tend to like adding more and more sounds and layering them up. I would suggest something like, 'I want to add this kind of phrase here', and Yoshiki would say, 'No, that gets in the way of the other sounds, change it'. So I would add something different, and he would say, 'No, thats no good either. Do you really need to add something here?'. For me it was like, 'well, I may not need to, but I want to'. It might be a guitarist thing. I say this, because Yoshiki did tell me, 'HIDE was like that, always wanting to add extra stuff in'. (lol)

ーIt must have sent shivers down your spine to hear that. In addition to this, you also said about Akuro no oka, that 'Including the guitar solo, the developments in this song are really satisfying to play'. Is it these chord progressions and such that feel pleasant to guitarists as a rule?

That is part of it. I've always felt comfortable playing this song. But when we were doing the remake, I did wonder whether I should try to go even further with it. Like, could I make it feel even more satisfying? I did actually try it, but it ended up feeling so good, it didn't line up with the original song anymore (lol). So I gave that up. It wasn't Akuro no oka anymore, it had a kind of palacial feel to it. I thought this wouldn't work (lol)

ーI feel like I also want to hear the palacial version, but we do need to preserve the foundations of the song, right? (lol) Okay, so next, the complete opposite of Akuro no oka, Zan. The song itself had been around from the beginning, and it seems like it went through many minor changes to get to where it was?

Well, because we had played it a bit live. But originally, we made it in the studio with me just telling everyone stuff like, 'Im gonna play this part like this, so you play the drums like this' etc etc. And then for the CD release, I actually remade the arrangement, so we could do it properly.

ーGenerally speaking, this is the least fitting of the three songs to be a single. Did you ever question or doubt putting this out as a single?

No, I definitely wanted to release it. So much so as to even say 'I want Zan as the first song' (lol). But it would be tough with only Zan, so thats how we came around to the idea of releasing two songs. Like, 'It has impact, but we need something with a different feel to it too'.

ーI see. It might have been a lot different if not for this decision. The three songs were recorded at the studio 'ONE ON ONE' in LA. (Note: This later became 'EXTASY STUDIO' when Yoshiki bought it, and is now in the hands of a different owner under the name '17 HERZ STUDIO'). This place was well-known for being used by Metallica, but how was it, recording overseas so suddenly?

Well, it was super luxurious. I've never had such a cushty recording experience since (lol)

ーDid you feel like, 'We made it!'?

No, I didn't. Not that long before that I had being doing home recordings, or usIng super tiny studios etc up until our indies era. So no, even being placed in that situation didn't make me feel like we'd made it. It was more like, 'Okay, what do we do now?' (lol) Being in that unfamiliar environment, there was a lot of pressure to make something lasting. We had unlimited use of equipment, but at that stage in our growth, we had limited knowledge, and undeveloped ears. So even if we heard something, we were unable to tell whether or not it really sounded good. It was me, who listened to nothing but heavy music, being told, 'Maybe this sounds better?', but then just responding, ' Nah, I just wanna make it sound more distorted'(lol) I only ever had this kind of exchange back then. But of course, my knowledge, brain, and ears were not fit for that environment. It was a bit of a waste in some sense. But it could be quite interesting if we were to do that kind of thing now. I didnt understand how the sound of a studio works back then, but if it was now, as well as having understanding, I would be able to really experiment with different things. I'd understand about mic positioning, about creating ambience, and all sorts. But back then I knew nothing. (lol)

ー Its seems almost pointless to be in that environment with such a lack of understanding and appreciation, but I think the experience itself probably meant a great deal to you, right?

Yes. I learned the importance of taking time to make something. Looking at a song from different angles, trying to dig into it in different ways. Before that things were never really much deeper than, 'Ok guys, lets make something'. I learned how to put great care into my work for the duration.

ーIts a very valuable thing to learn early on that its not all easy. Ok, so in January you will hold the FC limited live shows in Kawasaki and Osaka. You'll be in 25th debut anniversary mode in mid-Jan, right?

Well, yeah. And after that is the European tour, which will be a bit different from a regular tour. And the after that, a domestic tour entitled PSYCHONNECT. This time its 25 years since Gauze (lol).

ーIt's one anniversary after another, right?

Yeah (lol) The timing was just right to fit a tour in this Spring, and when we talked about what kind of thing to do, a Gauze themed hall tour was suggested.

ーJust to make things clear, this doesn't mean you are going to re-record the whole of Gauze, does it?

No no no (lol). If we did that people would be like, 'Enough of this already, record some new material!' (lol)

ーOf course. But at same time, I'm still kinda curious about hearing something like that.

Even if we were to do that, now isn't the time for it. People would end up thinking, 'What, are you gonna rerecord your entire catalogue??' (lol) That wouldn't be much fun.

ーYeah, interest would drop if it was nothing but rewriting history.

If I was a fan, I'd probably be thinking, 'Is this all they're doing from now on?'

ーRight. The thing we are really all waiting for is some new material after fully digesting Phalaris. Have you begun anything in that direction?

Nope, not yet (lol). I don't even know whether its ok to say this, but I haven't started yet. But actually, I was thinking about getting started today (lol).

ーYou might start writing new music straight after this interview?

Yeah, the interview just came into my schedule at exactly this time.

ーI can't wait to hear what you come up with. When I interviewed you just after the completion of Phalaris, you said that with no regular touring during covid, it had been difficult to communicate and exchange ideas with the other members. Does this mean that normality has returned to the bands' interactions. Are you able to make new music whilst interating with the other members on tour again?

Yes, we had already got back to a sense of normality by the tour before this. but now we are actually discussing next moves and stuff, and we are ready to get started. Straight after this interview, to be exact (lol).

ーLet me ask you one more thing. We touched earlier on the European tour which will be held in March. Its the first overseas tour to have past albums as a theme. What were you thinking about when deciding this?

We had originally talked about doing it in 2022 as part of the 25th anniversary run. But with the pandemic, and also trying to balance it out with the Phalaris tour, we were unable to make it happen then, so we slided it over to 2024 just as it was. People might be wondering why we are doing it at this time, but we had planned to do it from before, and now we just finally have the chance to.

ーWould you like to return to overseas touring as it used to happen previously?

Well, yeah, but its not easy. The reality is a lot different now than how it used to be. Its really not as simple as to just say, 'Let's go' now. In this case, we managed to make it work by seeing if we could do it at this particular time, but I can't be sure about future overseas tours. So to the fans in Europe, I want them to come and see us this time. Don't wait for next tme.

ーIts really interesting that the themes for this European tour are Uroboros and Withering to death. Your first ever tour of Europe was with Withering to death. These two albums have been influential in Dir en grey's overseas activities.

Yeah, we were overseas the most with those albums, and with The Marrow Of A Bone. I had thought about digging a little deeper, era-wise. Like maybe taking Vulgar overseas or something. Maybe if we have a chance in the future.

ー There are still many paths open to you. What about a Gauze world tour?

Heh, that would require a lot of motivation (lol) It would be impossible otherwise (lol)

ーWhether or not you ever manage that, there are still a lot of other things you need to do, and things you can do. I'm looking forward to seeing what kind of year 2024 is for you.

Thank you. Hopefully it won't be long before we have something new to put out.

[bleach-your-panties]

Okay but Rosie who do you think from the captains, visoreds and lieutenants would do casual dominance?

I almost said "what is casual dominance?" until I remembered that reblog about Draken 😂😂

KENSEI KENSEI KENSEI KENSEI KENSEI

Like that is definitely some shit he would do!

He has a dominant personality, but he also knows when not to do too much, i.e. he wouldn't try to check you in front of everyone and cause a scene.

You know not to act up too much anyway, because he's got something waiting for that ass when you get home.

He seems like the type that likes to spank, and he's got the hands big enough to leave your ass sore, aching, and hot.

"Thought I wasn't paying attention to your little display, huh? Turn over right the fuck now."

ROSE ROSE ROSE ROSE ROSE

He's gonna play it cool and remain the elegant gentleman that he is, in public. Gotta keep up that 'perfect captain' facade.👌🏼 So you'll go about your regularly scheduled programming with him doing all the things he normally does for you.

Once he gets you alone though, he's pulling out the shibari ropes and yanking you over to the bed.

He doesn't care about you acting like a brat because he knows how to fix you right up.

Once your hands are tied tight above your head, he'll pull out the Hitachi wand (who the hell bought him that? SHINJI.) and set it on the highest setting before pushing it between your open legs.

"Gonna make you sing a sweet song for me, angel."

IZURU IZURU IZURU IZURU IZURU

He's gonna completely turn his head, act like he didn't see shit, and wrap a (possessive) arm around your waist, pulling you flush against his side.

He's a switch, anyway, and he can switch in rapid succession. You'll go from getting showered in compliments, hand-written poems, and soft, gentle touches to kneeling on the floor of your bedroom with his hand on the back of your neck, keeping your face pressed against his thigh as you try to slip his cockhead into your mouth. And you'd better not dare raise your head, either - until he tells you to.

"You've been acting a little naughty today, bluebell. Do you really think that you deserve to suck my cock right now?"

He's pulling out the shibari ropes as well and he's gonna tie your legs behind your head while he eats you out.

He probably got that shit from Rose in the first place, you know he follows behind his captain dutifully.

SHINJI SHINJI SHINJI SHINJI SHINJI

He's a tease himself, so he'll gladly play long.

He'd never disrespect you in any way and if you start acting bratty he'll just grin that famous multi-tooth grin and make a joke towards himself, you, or the situation at hand.

Once you're alone, you already know you're in for it when he shirks off his captain's haori and runs his tongue over his lips.

Hours later, you're writhing on the bed while he slides his long, fat tongue between your folds, nudging your clit with the ball of his tongue bar.

No doubt he has one of those vibrating ones as well.

"Had enough? Nah, I don't think you have, darlin'."

SHUUHEI SHUUHEI SHUUHEI SHUUHEI SHUUHEI

He's a pookie poo, so of course he will continue to be chivalrous and open doors, jars, reach high things for you - hell, even help you lace your shoes or adjust your shihakusho if you get ruffled throughout the day.

Even when you get home, he'll be the same way, until he suddenly remembers that "flirtatious" wave you gave a fellow male squad member and the way said male's cheeks flushed before his eyes trailed subtly over your figure.

In the next second your thighs are pressed against your ears while he holds you open with those strong, muscled arms.

His dick is stuffed in you to the hilt, yet he's pressing the softest kisses to your cheeks, forehead, and lips while moaning your name softly.

"Don't try to make me jealous, sugar. You know I go crazy when you give attention to any other man but me."