#even tho nothing happened in february AT ALL in the last 5 years

[qrevo]

praying for u. i hope u guys finally get ur silksong

tomorrow for sure since it's the 5th anniversary of the trailer and february is an important month for team cherry and the marketing guy leth said that they prefer to release stuff at the start of the year and tomorrow is the trailer anniversary and two weeks later it will be the 7th anniversary of hollow knight and it'd be a perfect release date and hollow knight had a period of two weeks between the release trailer and the release of the game and they intended to release it on the first half of 2023 but couldn't do it so it must be close to release and-- *insert 30 more minutes of incoherent rambling*

[balkanradfem]

The basics of growing food

So, growing food sounds very intimidating, and in reality, it's something people knew how to do thru all history, and it's made even easier by new methods of 'no till' and 'no dig' garden. I didn't know almost anything about it until 3 years ago, when I got a plot in a community garden and started growing food with no experience. Still it went good! Here's what I learned:

The basics are as simple as 'if you put a seed underground and keep it wet, it's going to come out.' If you start off from that, even if you know nothing else, eventually you will succeed. The additional stuff is done to ensure success. The biggest actual issue of gardening isn't how, but when. When are you supposed to put all the seeds underground to get good harvest? For most of the plants, it can be as simple as 'Spring'. For others, it's very important just when in the spring you plant it.

Let's say you want to start your first garden, you want to plant some onions, lettuce, peas, green beans, tomatoes, peppers and zucchini. All of these can be planted in the spring! But these plants are sorted in 2 categories: Those who can survive a frost, and those who cannot. We call these 'frost hardy' (those who survive the frost) and frost-tender (those plants will die if they're exposed to lower than 0 temperatures). From the ones I listed, onions, lettuce and peas are frost hardy! It means you can plant them very early in spring, such as February and March, and they can be hit with snow and ice and be just fine. They can also be planted in autumn, and they only really start growing in the spring.

Green beans, tomatoes, peppers, and zucchini are frost-tender, meaning you absolutely can't grow them before the chance of freezing temperatures is gone. This is known in gardening as 'the last frost date'. Every area has a different last-frost date, so it's good to google yours to be sure you're planting these when it's safe to do so. For me it's mid-April.

Now, since it's a long time to wait for your plants to grow if you've only planted the seeds in mid April, people have found a way around it by planting the seeds in little containers inside of their house, or in a greenhouse, so they grow in a nice warm place on a windowsill, and are moved out in the ground when it's warm and safe. This is a very fun thing to do as you will have bunch of little plants growing in your home. Important thing to know about it is to use really light and airy soil, not garden soil, (you can use forest soil!) and to make sure you're not over-watering them and you give them as much light as possible.

Soil is another big thing in gardening, the grass grows so easily from it, but you can't exactly plant your seeds into the grass; they will get suffocated. For a long time people have tilled the ground to make it empty of all the weeds and easy to handle; however this isn't healthy for the soil, because it ruins the quality of top-soil, exposes it to sun and wind erosion, and it dries up very easily. Here are some beneficial methods of gardening: mulching and no-dig. Mulching means adding stuff like hay, straw, tree leaves, woodchips, pine needles on top of the soil. You're protecting your soil from sun, wind, erosion, drying out, and if your mulch is thick and dark enough, no weeds will grow in your garden. You are gardening by science.

So what does this mean for you, when you're standing before a patch of grass, thinking of turning it into a garden? You need to do this months before the actual planting, using time to your benefit is the smartest thing a gardener can do. You pick a patch of land and bring in everything you can on top: cut grass, hay, tree leaves you raked or found, straw if you have any, woodchips, anything that will stop the grass from growing. If you really want to build up your soil you can bring in compost too! All that organic material will eventually turn into compost and fertilize your garden as it degrades to soil. It's important to not mix it with the soil, and to only keep it on top of the plants. Mixing it will deplete the soil of nitrogen, and you need nitrogen to grow anything green. If you keep bringing in organic material for years of gardening, and on top of that put some compost as well, in 3-5 years your soil will become so rich and soft you will no longer have to use tools to plant in it.

But, hey, if it's your first time, you don't need to aim for perfection. If you didn't prepare your soil in the fall, whatever! You can still pull the weeds, dig around a little to make some clear soil, and plant your stuff! I've done this last-minute planting and it works just fine. Mulching and adding organic material is only the easiest, most scienc-y way to garden.

The next big thing in gardening is spacing and depth: how far apart should your plants be? And how deep to plant them? For depth, the rule of the thumb is 'twice as deep as the seed is tall'. But I've seen people pull various shit in this area and succeed so do what you want. As of spacing, I would also say, try out what fits for you. It takes a year of gardening to get a sense of just how big the plants get, and what would be ideal spacing for each of them. I decided only on my third year to plant tomatoes VERY far apart, because I realized in this case, one plant will give me more than 8kg tomatoes and it's much less work than planting 3 times as many plants that are close together. Peas seem to like to grow close tho, for some reason. Sometimes you can decide you want a bunch of tiny plants because you'll eat them young, so you don't space them on purpose, people do that with lettuce, leeks, spinach. If you want your plants as big as possible with as much yield as possible, give them half a meter and see what happens.

Fertilization is another big thing in gardening; if you add a lot of compost and mulch your garden consistently, you won't need a lot more; however there's a cool free trick you can do (if you're not currently sick): you can mix your urine with 10x water, and water your plants with that. And I really mean mix it with 10x water! Plants can get very fried by it and start to wilt if they're bombed with too much fertilizer at once! There are rules for this: use it when you want your plants to grow a lot of greenery, not if you want them to flower or produce fruit. This fertilizer is rich in nitrogen, and nitrogen inspires plants to grow more leaves! If you wanna fertilize them later in their growth, put a lot of nettle plants in a big container with water, leave it in the sun for 10 days; when it starts to smell real bad, it's ready. (you can also do this with comfrey). Also dilute it with 10x water! Don't use these fertilizers on bean or pea plants, or any legume, they don't like it.

Now I've given you so much info at once, you're probably struggling to take it all in, so here's a good youtube channel where I learned all I know: Roots and Refuge. If you watch this lady garden for long enough, she will tell you all of the secrets.

I remember being a first time gardener overwhelmed with worry; what if I fail, what if nothing grows, what if I kill all the plants, what if I have a black thumb, what if the plants die because I am stupid, what if I put all of this work in and get nothing, what if people make fun of me, what if I run into problems I won't be able to solve. Here are some of the answers to these!

A part of what you grow will DEFINITELY DIE. I can guarantee it, it happens to everyone, every single garden in the world has had plants die, sometimes for no reason at all, but in no case will EVERYTHING die. We all count on a part of our plants dying, becoming slug food, not doing well in general, and we always plant 30% more than we absolutely need. Even if you are personally responsible for killing the plants, the plants will not hold it against you! Plants appreciate you spreading their seed regardless of success, they understand that by trying multiple times you will eventually succeed and they absolutely want you to learn thru occasional failure. The answer is again to plant a lot, and it never ever happened that nothing came out of it. Most often, it's not going to be your fault at all. Sometimes the year will be good for tomatoes and carrots, and bad for peas. It's all okay! Because you just planted extra peas, and you'll get more tomatoes than you expected to have.

If you have the desire to plant food, you do not have a black thumb; the green thumb is in the heart that yearns to grow. You're not stupid if your plants die, plants die for everyone. And people are likely to come at you with million advice; listen to no one, try everything yourself. If they make fun of you, they're gonna look real stupid when you have home-grown food. Any problem you might run into while gardening is google-able! Or you can join a page of gardeners and they'll be happy to identify the issue.

The real main issue with gardening are slugs and bug-type pests, and that is a problem for another day because all I know to do is to yeet those away by hand and shake my finger very sternly at them. Hope this helps!

[mollyphoria]

Moodboard #3

I was not able to make another moodboard since February because there's not much difference from what I was feeling from back then to now. It was pretty much all the same. Still wanting to get away and have freedom, yk same old shit but it wouldn't be a surprise that some things did change throughout this 5 mos like :

My lovely Calico cat Jimina gave birth to 5 kittens originally. She was pregnant at the start of this year and blessed the world with 5 cute mini jiminas on March 9 (same birthdate of BTS Suga)

3 of the kittens inherited her orange and white fur while the other one inherited the dark, striped fur completely devoid of any white fur. Only one kitten out of 5 got her triple color coated fur.

Sadly only 3 survived. Jimina hid the kittens briefly first and then abruptly one day she brought them up again already grown up, able to walk and with their eyes open but she only had 3 kittens with her. I never got to find out what ever happened with the other 2 babies with one of the missing of the kittens was the one that fully inherited the Calico cat status of Jimina which devastated me the most and I'm still heartbroken to this day that some of her babies didn't get to live like their siblings. I don't want to think that they died, I want to actually believe that they somehow survived without their mother miraculously but it's only the plausible reason why they never showed up at all 😞

The 3 surviving kittens tho is a lot of fun! They were rumbustious and full of energy. They were always playing and running around in my mom's garden. Climbing up a tree or an orchid branch, playing hide and seek through the plethora of plants. It was a treat to see them just having fun and I took lots of videos. I decided to name them after the BTS maknaes nicknames which is Kookie, Mochi and TaeTae. All 3 kittens have a very distinct personality from each other like you could immediately tell that Kookie is more introverted than the other two, his more reserved and prefers to be alone most of the time, TaeTae is more adventurous and playful but he doesn't trust that easily while Mochi on the other hand is the most extroverted and trusting out of all (FYI: I named them first without knowing their personalities believe it or not). Overall they brought so much life and extra joy in me. Now that they are 4 mos old, they don't play that much anymore, I guess it's really part of growing up regardless of what species. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Now onto my summer. I was dreading it's arrival. It's not fun when you don't have an AC at your house in the hottest season. But anyways this summer I've been having this strong desire to experience Italian summers. I just wanted to be in Italy soooooo bad. I just want to ride my bicycle anywhere in rural Italy in a summer floral dress and eating a delicious gelato after while listening to Love my way by the Psychedelic furs. Yes this strong desire got even stronger after watching the movie Call me by your name. It envoked so much nostalgia within me which is weird because I've never set foot in Italy before but the feeling of longing that I experience just thinking about spending your summer in Italy is very strong.

Additionally, speaking of bicycles I successfully finished my remodeling or rather repainting of an old bicycle we have here which is perfect for summer aesthetics. I mentioned before on my previous moodboard back in February that I was in the process of painting this bike and I included a picture of a bike that I would like my own bike to look like after I'm finish with it. And I'm very happy and satisfied with the end result overall! And I would love love to ride it around Italy!...... perhaps.

These are 3 of the most impactful things that had rocked my world within the past few months and they are in a form of a documentary, an animated podcast and an anime film!

1. Grey Gardens

I first discovered Grey Gardens when I was actively looking for any good documentary to watch so I went to Reddit recommendations and one user suggested grey gardens. Its description peaked my interest enough to go check it out and luckily the full documentary is uploaded in YouTube for free. And I must say I'm glad that I took the chance to watch this wonderful hidden gem!

Little Edie quickly got my full attention on her. She's one of the most wonderful and fascinating people to exist in our world and her mother big Edie was just as interesting of a character as well. The way they live their life, spending most of their time in a rundown mansion near a beach was truly a sight to behold in a weird, peculiar manner.

What gives me the most profound impact about this documentary is the topic of wasted youth with wasted potential and the ironic part when your very own lifeline equally imprisons you as well. And we see this most evidently with little Edie. There was a part in this doc that stuck with me the most and it's when the mother-daugther duo was sunbathing in the balcony and little Edie mentioned about wanting freedom from her mother and the grey gardens then big Edie answered:

"you can't have freedom when you're being supported"

And this has struck a chord on me so strong because I relate to it so much especially with my current situation. I also crave freedom from where I am right now but I couldn't because I'm not capable of freeing myself.

What's more tragic was little Edies rebuttal to her mother's hotknife realistic take which was you can't have freedom both ways. That you couldn't have freedom when you're not being supported as well. And it's very true. If you decide to go out in the world by yourself you will definitely be freed from the shackles of your former home & life but you will subject yourself to another imprisonment.

Basically We're never truly free in this life.

2. The Midnight Gospel

I think I've heard of TMG when it was about to launch on its release year and I remember i was anticipating for it to come out because i just took one look at the official poster & I knew I would like the animation then I learned Pendleton ward is a part of it & I'm a huge fan of his creations so it's a double treat but I didn't had the opportunity to watch it back then bcoz of my busy shitty life & I actually don't have Netflix. But I remember i downloaded one of its ost first things first.

Now fast forward to this year. I now have the time to watch every content out there that I missed from all the years of slaving my life away for absolutely nothing. one of those is TMG & it was a perfect timing. Ever since i took an hiatus from the rat race I decided to strengthen my spirituality & this time I want to try delving deep to Buddhism and certain philosophies which I don't have the time and energy to learn before and TMG was a great and perfect medium for me to learn further about this subjects as they tackle topics like mindfulness and meditation and much more other significant things, not to mention the superb,epic, psychedelical, full of awesomeness animation on top of equally superb awesome soundtracks is*chefs kiss ( I still have an LSS to the prisoner's song.. 🎵drinking blood from a stump of a prison guard that I just chopped up....🎶)

I felt like the universe intended for me to watch this later than sooner because if I had the opportunity to watch it back then, I think I wouldn't/couldn't appreciate this show as much as I do now. So thanks universe!

TMG is honestly one of the best show to ever grace the planet imho. An easily perfect 10/10 for me.

3. To the Forest of Firefly Lights

Now I've watched a lot of animes last and this year and I can tell in full confidence that this is the best of them all. I'm sure it's subjective but this one checked all the box for the most compelling story & amazing artwork for me.

Maybe I long for something similar with the characters, It was just so fascinating and huntingly beautiful to have someone or something (whatever your preference is) from a different realm to be by your side. Maybe I would also like to look forward for summer season to come for once, to get excited and get rejuvenated on a hot summer that otherwise would make my life hell. Or maybe and most definitely I just needed someone like Gin as a source of my utmost happiness and comfort.

Overall this anime had made me feel so much warmth in my heart with its unadulterated poignancy and I just couldn't get enough of it. What a masterpiece ✨

Ps: I recommend listening to Warning Sign by Coldplay after watching to the Forest of Firefly Lights 🌹Check it out ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

[stubbychaos]

30 questions

I was tagged by @datmando for this (hi yes ily my fellow clown <333)

rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you want to get to know better

1. Name/Nickname: Amber (I wish I had a cool nickname but I really don’t </3) Just call me clown at this point lol.

2. Gender: female, she/her

3. Star sign: Cancer

4. Height: 5′3 (Where my short gang at😞✌️)

5. Time: 9:30 PM

6. Birthday: July 3rd :)

7. Favorite bands: Muse, Pink Floyd (One of my all time faves), Nine Inch Nails, No Doubt, Queen, Coheed and Cambria, Radiohead, The Cure, System of a Down, The Smiths.

8. Favorite solo artists: Hozier (obviously lmao), Selena, Zack Hemsey, Lorde, Billy Idol, FKA twigs, AURORA, James Vincent McMorrow. Idk if it counts, but most of what I listen to when writing is composers such as Hans Zimmer, Ramin Djawadi, Junkie XL, Marco Beltrami, John Williams and obviously 👀👀 Ludwig Goransson (Troopers still haunts me every time I write any future action scene in a fic lmao)

9. Song stuck in your head: Down The Burning Ropes-James Vincent McMorrow :( Along with Rose Golden by Kid Cudi

10. Last movie: How The Grinch Stole Christmas (Pls don’t judge this movie is iconic lmaooo)

11. Last show: Schitt’s Creek

12. When I did create this blog: This specific blog, I want to say I created around January or early February, but didn’t get more comfortable posting until later March

13. What I post: Mostly Mandalorian/Star Wars content, plus other movies and shows that I’m interested in :)

14. Last thing I googled: Best sleeping position for lower back pain </333 lmao

15. Other blogs: My main is @jake-chillinhaal even tho it’s been inactive for a while lmao

16. Do i get asks: I do and I love the random asks that I get!!! Whether it be about my writing or just life in general :)

17. Why i chose my url: So like, I love Grogu so much and he is both stubby and chaotic, right?!! I too am stubby and sometimes chaotic so I feel like stubbychaos was only fitting!!

18. Following: Around 300

19. Followers: I haven’t checked in a while, but I think the last time I did, it was around 500?

20. Average hours of sleep: I would give it a solid 5 hours lmao

21. Lucky number: 87

22. Instruments: I know basic piano and that’s it lol

23. What I’m wearing: An oversized hoodie and leggings

24. Dream job: ASL Interpreter or teacher

25. Dream trip: I was actually supposed to take a trip up north to Canada this year and obviously it didn’t happen bc of Covid :( other than that, I would love to visit New Zealand or Alaska.

26. Favorite food: I love Italian food but I’m pretty sure that’s only because I like carbs lmao. I’m usually not that picky when it comes to food, as long as there’s no meat in it.

27. Nationality: Idk man I’m so white😭😭 I’m sure there’s some German and Italian in there somewhere lol.

28. Favorite song: It’s honestly a tie between Breathe by Pink Floyd bc I literally have lyrics from that song tattooed on my body lmfao, or Burn by The Cure because The Crow is one of my favorite movies ever, and I love The Cure!

29. Last book: Red White and Royal Blue💀💀

30. Top 3 fictional universes I wanna live in: Obviously Star Wars, probably Lord of the Rings, and I’m not too sure what else tbh, maybe some Victorian novel where a hot ass dude would be scandalized by seeing my ankles bc I have nothing else going for me lmao

No pressure tags: @hdlynn @aerynwrites @maybege @absurdthirst @clydesducktape @princessxkenobi @tangledlove27 @anxiety-riddled-mando @prettylittlegoldfish @littlevodika (And anyone else that would like to do this!! Please feel free :)

[woeismyhoe]

Spill the tea, what's the deal with you and the BSG group (avatar-chang and her squad in particular)?

Ok anon, sorry for taking so long! I wanted to get everything right and honestly collecting the posts took a longass time xD

Anyways, the only ones I have a problem there are avatar-chang, hexful/dykesia/bizukos, catrademption, cardboardseagulls (never seen interacted b4) and bizulas (also never interacted b4).

I’m going to be really transparent about this whole thing so it’s gonna be long as there’s gonna be several links and I’ve included the dates so it’ll be easier to understand. Since I’ll be fully transparent about this, i’ll probably get hate or whatever. Honestly, I just want to put everything out there without being biased or hiding anything. I’m going to disclose everything here.

So, the whole thing between me and avatar-chang started off with this post I made last year on 10 March 2019. Afterwards, she PMed me on the same day and this was the conversation:

After that, I thought the argument was over because she blocked me lmao. The only ones I spoke to about this was nbw and my real life friends (who had nothing to do with ATLA lmao I just ranted to them).

And then the next incident I think was on 16 March 2019 when I made this post about Azula’s abuse of her friends. I was new and 16. I genuinely wanted to know why people labeled Azula as an abuser. It was dykesia who responded to me at the time.

Now, unlike avatar-chang, I had a few conversations with dykesia (who was bizukos then) that was generally civil. I first interacted with her when she made a post calling out Zucest shippers or something?? I was very new. Like fresh newbie baby ATLA tumblr fan new lmao so I thought what she said was too aggressive. I didn’t realize that there were actual Zucest shippers until after some time. And then she PMed me on 13 March 2019, saying that she doesn’t always agree on characters with me but I do write some interesting pieces on Azula— that she’s a huge fan of Azula but she just tends to stay away from her fandom. I apologized about the previous incident of the Zucest thing and it was fine after then. We talked about zuko, the fandom, the comics, Mai etc etc. I thought we were on fine terms.

And then I made a post about the cliff scene in the comics on 16 March 2019. Avatar-Chang made a post that was pretty directed at the post but it seems like she’s deleted it.

On 17 March 2019, I received an anon mail telling me that avatar-chang was talking shit about me behind my back. I censored her name then because I didn’t want to believe without any evidence. No one sent me any screenshots about it so I just dismissed it.

On the same day, avatar-chang answered an anon and talked about the 13 child post theory I made on 9 March.

On 23 April 2019, I received another anon mail about avatar-chang, asking if I’d seen the post she made about Azula. I censored her name again cuz I didn’t want to start any shit over having differing opinions. I’m assuming this is the post the anon was referring to.

On 28 April 2019, dykesia/hexful/bizukos PMed me to ask if I was talking shit about other people behind their backs, and her. I denied this because I hadn’t. This was how the conversation went:

Yes, I didn’t censor any name because as I said, full transparency. I have afp blocked because we’ve clashed several times and he’d still come for my posts last year despite already being blocked. If you’ve followed me long enough, you probably would’ve rmbered that time lmao

Anyways during then, I don’t think I realized that dykesia was actually being passive aggressive. It’d been barely a year since I started the blog and I just didn’t want to full out make enemies. Reading the messages now tho lmao she really was passive aggressive. But yeah then she said this in bsg so I don’t even know why she bothered to ask me if she wasn’t even going to consider believing me.

The 9th of June 2019 was the last time she messaged and it was to ask if I mind her discoursing this Zuko post while ‘hard and drunk’. It was the first time she could apparently agree with me so it was I quote a ‘Yay??’. Afterwards I don’t know when she did it but she blocked me lmao

On 17 July 2019, I received another anon mail telling me that avatar-chang publicly called me a bitch when she was answering an anon about me posting the scans of the EK Chronicles. She mentioned this in bsg again on 19 April 2020 lmao (she’s that petty) it seems:

On November 8 2019, an anon (one of avatar-chang’s friends actually) asked about my thoughts towards the allegations against Aaron Ehasz. I still believe in the system of ‘Innocent before proven guilty’, so I didn’t side with anyone. I tried to be as objective as possible. When I said that I hoped men would also come forward, I said that because I don’t want men to just sit on the sidelines and let the women get the heat if they were telling the truth. At the end of this whole thing, I concluded that Ehasz was a dick of a boss to the girls. Being called an abuser carries more weight than just being a dick. Everyone has been a dick at one point, but being an abuser is something else. Just because Ehasz was a dick doesn’t mean I’m going to stop watching TDP or dismiss his involvement in ATLA.

The next day, BSG brought the issue up despite both avatar-chang having already blocked me by then lmao

On 5 February 2020, after Legacy of the Fire Nation came out, I made a post calling out Iroh’s bs to Azula (guy literally blames Azula for everything that happened to Zuko (something which avatar-chang agrees with apparently, and Iroh even sees Ozai in a better light).

That’s so far what I’ve remembered that involved avatar-chang and dykesia.

Moving on to the next three attackers: catrademption, cardboardseagulls and bizulas.

I’ve seen catrademption around, but I don’t remember if we’ve clashed before. We must have though cuz she’s got me blocked lmao and I mostly only debate back to people when they reply to my posts. For cardboardseagulls and bizulas, I don’t think I’ve ever seen them them before but obviously they’ve seen my blog and misinterpreted everything I’ve written.

But according to them, I’m apparently a Azula apologist, extremist, irrational, toxic, coddles and woobifies Azula, justifies everything she does and invalidates abuse victims.

You can see the posts I’ve made to judge whether I actually am an irrational Azula apologist who blames everything on Zuko. One of the most recent posts I made about Azula’s character is this, and there’s still several more posts like that. Just search #meta or #analysis in my blog search and all of them will just pop up. I can assure you, I have never acted as if Azula has done nothing wrong or did everything right or whatever lies these people are spewing.

If anyone has proof that I’ve talked shit about people in the fandom to other people before, please, present your evidence. I highly think this is impossible because I actually don’t have many friends on Tumblr, nor do I usually initiate conversation because I’m awkward af.

I’ve also tried approaching those I recognized in bsg to find out more about the situation (and at least give my side of the story). Most of them have chosen not to speak to me LMAO but one of them who’s chosen to remain anonymous for their privacy, admitted that dykesia (hexful) forced them to block a blog before (after realizing they were interacting with said blog) and if not, they would be blocked themselves. I can’t post the conversation publicly because they’re afraid their speech mannerism will give away their identity. @space-sword has also shared his experience with avatar-chang on his blog and was pressured to cut off ties with ppb21 just to join the oh so magnificent Ba Sing Gay.

There’s absolutely no reason to judge someone based on their sexual orientation, race, color or age either. They rant about being discriminated against or being generalized or stereotypes but they’re the ones hypocritically committing these actions, and then justify their actions by saying ‘we’re oppressed, they’re not, so it’s not racism or discrimination’. And yet people still wonder why discrimination is still rampant LMAO

I can’t speak for the blogs they victimized in bsg, but I personally don’t agree with talking shit about them on a public server and then criminalizing them as if they’re actually predators. I also don’t agree with involving the blogs’ friends simply because of their association. I also don’t agree with demanding people to block blogs they don’t like because that’s just pure manipulation. That’s wrong and marginalizing people. Unless someone has actually been harassing or literally preying on people, then there’s no reason to actually go around warning blogs about them unless they’re asked about it.

If they feel uncomfortable about something? Then avoid that blog, filter their tags or even block that blog if they’re that uncomfortable—BUT they shouldn’t demand others to do the same just for their own benefit. It’s not up to them to decide what a person can or cannot see or who they can or cannot interact with. They’re not their parents, and they obviously have no right to pressure people into doing things they don’t want to. If they think it tactless that I shared the conversations? Oh honestly, a line was crossed when they spread shit about me so idc. If they actually feel terrible for being called out? GOOD. That’s what they should feel, because in no way was any of what they were doing right or justified. If they’re going to shit on me then expect to be burned because I’m not someone who’ll just shrivel in fear because they have a bigger following.

[uptownhags]

tagged by @theresebelivett who has been here since we used to cry about working actress rooney mara together in 2011!! i tag anyone who wants to do it!

name/nickname: hilary, hil, hils, hilie, chicken.

gender: lady/disaster.

star sign: pisces, 1000%, @cleverdistraction​ can attest to this. 

height: 5′4 but like, always sitting down.

time: 5:10pm.

birthday: february 27th, about-to-be-30 .

favorite bands: joseph, the staves, this year i got really into tow’rs. 

favorite solo artists: laura beatrice marling, sucré even tho stacy has been making a follow-up album to her debut for 9 years.  

song stuck in your head: nothing right now, but i just woke up from a Coping Mechanism Nap. 

last movie: watched the proposal on christmas, so probably that.

last show: the wilds, which was an embarrassment that i beg you all to watch!!!

blog created: 2010, yikes. 

what i post: used to post a lot of graphics, now i get on here like 10 mins a day to yell about my life and, occasionally, dev patel.

last thing i googled: “what happened to landon pigg?”

other blogs: once upon a time i co-admined a bunch of fan blogs but now i just have this one

do you get asks: sometimes?

why did you choose your url: lauramarling_myfriends.mp3

following: 110

followers: 3696

average hours of sleep: like 10. i am obsessed with sleep.

lucky number: i don’t have one.

instruments: played cello in high school, still own it. 

what are you wearing?: waitress joe’s pie diner tshirt!

dream job: i love my job A LOT so if i have to work, this is good. but with actual money on an organizational and individual level so i can pay my cussing bills and not ask to buy off-brand pens. 

dream trip: i really, really wanna go to ireland and just not come back. 

favorite food: ice cream. all of it. 

nationality: american. irish/welsh/german ~blood. 

favorite song: my fav EVER is “chemical reaction” by sucré bc it sounds like falling in lovvve but in a totally safe way without any bullshit. my fav today is “good woman” by the staves bc i too have felt compelled to write a ‘ya know wHAT?’ song to a j*****. 

last book read: the book i got myself and [musician guy] for christmas. he has annotated it. i have not. 

top 3 fictional universes you’d like to live in: can i just spin the wheel to anything that’s not.............this america? great.  

[judesstfrancis]

so I was late to asking u things and I don't want u to have to repeat yourself so answer all the questions in the thing that you haven't already answered thank u 😌

the way I had to pull out my laptop to answer these bc I couldn’t keep them straight on my phone clipboard................ fdskjfsdkj I think I’m gonna put most of these under a read more so they don’t take up too much dash space. thank u!! <3

zinc white; how are you really feeling today? no one-word answers please!

honestly I’m great! it is currently almost 2 in the morning but my day was nice, I got some new clothes, did my laundry, made a good dinner...good vibes all around, loving it for me rn

yellow ochre; name an artist/band whom you just discovered & can’t get enough of!

I haven’t really listened to a lot of new music lately dkfjskj I think the most recent new artist I started listening to was orville peck?? but that was back in like february

naples yellow; where do you feel most at home?

uhh when I’m at home. yes I’m a homebody <3

raw sienna; with whom do you feel most at home? 

truly it’s with the thots I just feel so at ease

golden ochre; describe the relationship you have with your closest friend.

it’s just easy, u know? like no matter what we’re doing, even if we’re just vibing on our own together, it’s nice. I can tell them absolutely anything and it’s not weird and I don’t have to force it out at all

cadmium orange; what do you like to do on your days off?

ok first I always see if any of my friends are busy fkdjsfkj and if they aren’t I see if they wanna just chill or w/e but otherwise just like. turning some music up and sitting in my room with a book/a couple movies I love is ideal for me on a day off. I am very simple I just like to chill

orange lake; do you have anyone you can turn to when you’re sad?

yes! there are two whole people in this world that I spill absolutely everything to bc I trust them with my life and esp when I’m sad bc they always make me feel better. talking to them when I’m having A Day is like I vent and instantly I am normal again. they know who they are I’m sure but for transparency’s sake, it’s u (robin) and maya, no one else gets to unlock my tragic backstories <3

titans; do you prefer slow mornings or relaxing evenings? 

relaxing evenings!

shakhnazaryan red; are you currently binge-watching anything? 

actually I am currently rewatching cycles 1 through 22 of america’s next top model, I’m on like cycle 5 rn I think. having the time of my life, thanks for asking

red ochre; are you more right-brained (creative) or left-brained (analytical)?

I am very much more into creative endeavors, like work-wise, but I feel like the way I think about things is much more analytical. like I prefer Making things, writing or various crafts or what have u, but even when I create I think about the things I’m doing like analytically?? so ig left-brained

burnt sienna; is there a painting that brings you peace when you look at it? 

boy with squirrel by john singleton copley. I love him

english red; what animal do you relate to most?

interesting question! I have no idea. maybe birds? like a finch, maybe. they seem like they have fun

cadmium red; do you have a “type” when it comes to a significant other? 

this one is hard for me to answer bc like. I truly have no idea what a “type” is idk if that’s an ace thing or what. no? maybe? all the people I’ve had crushes on have been vastly different, in terms of like physical looks so probably not actually. I’m not attracted to muscular people tho bc I don’t think they have feelings <3

carmine; what does your ideal second date look like?

once again I have never pictured a date. I just want to hold hands! I think for the ideal first date question I said it just had to be going somewhere where we could Do things together, like walking around a museum or going through shops downtown or something, and that does still apply here, but for the sake of shaking it up, uhh...idk maybe staying in and watching a movie. like not at a theater no one needs to know my business like that but like. at a House. whoever’s, I’m not picky, again ideally I just want to hold hands.

madder lake red; would you ever kiss someone (or accept a kiss) on a first date?

yes. literally if the first thing u do is kiss me I am okay with it. I’m 23 someone just take the shot and kiss me already I’m going crazy over here

quinacridone rose; what’s something you’re really looking forward to? 

really looking forward to the holidays personally I got everyone some really good gifts this year and I can’t wait to hand them out. also my copy of 13 storeys is supposed to finally ship out this week, for real this time! so that’s exciting too

violet rose; what does your dream house look like? 

u know that idealized house with the yellow paint and the white trim? yes. just small and cute and homey

violet; is there any place in particular you’d like to settle down? 

I guess not?? I’d like to be somewhere near my mom bc she’s important to me but like. as long as I’m living with someone I love it doesn’t really matter where I don’t think

blue lake; what would you like to do/accomplish before you settle down?

uh. settling down to me equates to like falling in love and living together so honestly that could happen any time. I need to get a job before we live together so I can like Help Out but like. really any time

cobalt blue spectral; what is the most beautiful place you have ever been to?

I have not been to a lot of places! I’ve been to new york, and san diego, and like. phoenix outside of where I live so. actually if I can include like buildings in places I would like to say that one opera house I went to in new york. I learned I wasn’t a fan of operas BUT I also learned those chandeliers were cool as hell

ultramarine; when was the last time you were in a good mood? do you know/remember what sparked it?

I’m usually in a good mood, I think? my baseline mood is genuinely just like. happy/chill, pero I think the last time I felt Euphoria (tm) was a couple days ago when my mom and I made a really nice dinner together and my brother was there and we just played board games all night

blue; what’s the most recent dream you remember?

I have this recurring habit of waking up from dreams but only barely so when I fall back asleep it feels like I just woke up within the dream? anyway the last one was like that but in one of the times I ‘woke up’ I looked out the window and instead of outside there was like this. static photo of buffalo grazing in open fields?? and it was like green screened kinda, so when I move the image moved with my line of sight it was weird. that’s how I knew it was a dream and woke myself up again, only to immediately fall back asleep and feel like I was waking up from a dream within a dream again

bright blue; what does your dream family look like? any kids or pets? how many of each?

I think living with friends would be cool. like I want to have a significant other I live with but also if we lived with other friends that would be fun. kids, maybe! would be something I’d have to discuss with whatever partner I have in the future. if yes to kids, max two. also I don't want babies, preferably I would adopt older children. pets absolutely, however many doesn’t matter. I’m open to just living in a house with the love of my life and like twelve dogs, that’s ok with me

blue cobalt; do you like your name? would you give yourself a different name if you could?

I do like my name! I think it’s nice and it feels like it fits me. I don’t think I’d change it ever, but if I did I think maybe I’d go with jude bc yes I do love to project <3

prussian azure; what’s your favorite scent?

it’s a tie between suntan lotion and the lumber aisle of any hardware store

azure blue; what’s your favorite type of tea, if any?

vanilla rooibos tea supremacy!

turquoise blue; if you could start a garden, what would you plant?

lots of flowers, first of all. also some kitchen herbs. maybe some fruits!

cerulean blue; if you were guaranteed to have a viewership, would you start a youtube vlog?

yes <3 I want to force people to listen to my pretentious horror opinions and get paid for it

glauconite; describe your body without using any negative adjectives.

look I just have to say it: I’m hot. last night I took a photo and saw my nose from the side and went “omg who IS she” like it’s cute. I’M cute. I’ve seen my ass in the mirror and nothing can top it, sorry

yellow green; picture yourself walking in a field. what do you see & hear in this scenario?

all I’m getting is those scenes from horror movies where eerie whistling starts and like birds start going crazy

green light; are you in a comfortable place in life? if not, what do you think might make it better?

I think so?? I’d like to be more financially secure, pero. I think for the most part yeah I’m alright

green; name three countries you want to visit; do you have any actual plans in place to visit any of them?

ireland and greece for sure, ireland is the one I have most planned out in my head. ig maybe england for the third one, just bc I know my mom wants to go and also I’m very bad at geography so I don’t know what counts as a country. I had to look all these up, I do want to visit them tho, genuinely! esp ireland

emerald green; do you speak any languages besides english? are there any additional languages you want to learn?

the one I’m most fluent in is spanish! and I’m still cracking along at russian, currently I can hold a conversation with like a 4 year old and we can understand each other, it’s pretty cool. I really wanna get into learning irish!! I have a few resources downloaded onto my phone I just haven’t gotten around to it yet

oxide of chromium; what’s your favorite book?

a little life <3 yes I hate it when things are sad just to be sad yes this is my favorite book I contain multitudes

mars brown; what’s a movie that always puts a smile on your face/makes you laugh?

the burbs! I’ve seen it so many times but it always hits

burnt umber; what’s something you plan to do before the day is over to take care of yourself?

the day IS over it’s like two thirty am now but uh. drink some water before I sleep probably

voronezhskaya black; what or who is your go-to outlet for when you need to vent?

I post the “kirby’s fucking pissed” meme on twitter and then I ask u (robin) if I can yell for like five minutes and then I feel valid and then I am normal again

payne’s gray; describe your aesthetic?

it’s a little bit jock and it’s a little bit 1980s skater boy but the best way I can really Describe it is just “gay”

[szopenhauer]

Have you ever seen a black rose? online only

Is your coffee machine plugged in right now? we don’t own one as we don’t drink coffee Do you write words on your knuckles? I tried few times for fun XD Have you ever been a SCUBA diver for Halloween? wtf Have you ever taken a picture of a sandwich? sure Have you ever seen elephant droppings? I haven’t  Would you like to visit Play Dough Land? :o What’s your opinion on Katy Perry? copycat Who was your favorite character from the cartoon Recess? Spinelli, then Gretchen

Have you ever lost your parents in the grocery store? yeah, I still do and I hate that  Have you drawn a star today? not today but when I was in hospital this week Are you older or younger than fifteen? much older If you can remember, what was the last thing that made you feel nostalgic? Recess being mentioned Are you the type of person who prefers to stay in or go out? stay in Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow? yep Are you starting to realize anything? sigh... Would you live with someone without marrying them? why not Who was the last person you talked to in person? *mom enters my room*

Who were the last 3 males you talked to? dad and two doctors

If you have a pet, when did you last pet him/her? omg I realized I was so tired that I didn’t even say hello to my dog wtf... What genre is the song that you’re currently listening to? indiepop/electropop Does the person you love/like have a car? What colour is it? nope Have you ever received a compliment on anything you’re wearing? plenty of times Which word(s) do you generally use to describe someone attractive? (e.g. “fit”, “sexy” etc.) wow beautiful, pretty, attractive, cute, adorable, piękna, that she looks amazing/awesome/great, śliczna, urocza, słodka, cudowna...

*it reminds me of one very embarassing high school story: były wigilie klasowe i wyszliśmy rozbawieni z sali, a na korytarzu stała śliczna dziewczyna i na cały głos powiedziałam “ale laska” potem zorientowałam się co właśnie zrobiłam i robiąc facepalma wymaszerowałam ze szkoły, a za mną śmiejące się przyjaciółki, nie dały mi potem o tym długo zapomnieć, a E.W. nawet obczaiła kto to i próbowała się dowiedzieć, czy jest ona lesbą, ale okazało się, że ma chłopaka i demonstracyjnie całowała się z nim na moich oczach parę dni później Have you had any caffeinated beverages today? just water Have you eaten any chocolate today? What kind? I haven’t Name something you like, that starts with the letter ‘L’. lamps I’m not a moth tho :P When was the last time someone wanted you to do something, and you refused? not sure when was the last time and/or what it was about How many people have you hugged today? 2 Do you have a favourite hair colour or eye colour on your preferred sex? been really into very dark brown eyes and arm lenght or a bit shorter brown hair mostly like Rosa Salazar (latino and asian women) that’s why Sarah been so my type

but my biggest tumblr crush was Raquey Strange

and my youtube one - Rachel Maksy

*vintage ladies <3 The last song you listened to – does it remind you of anyone? it doesn’t remind me of anyone, it’s from K-12 album

What was the last compliment you received? mom complimented my hair today

Are you more prone to being the social butterfly, or the wallflower? wallflower

Would you rather go to a Katy Perry or Taylor Swift concert? none but Swift if I had to choose

What pattern do the sheets on your bed have? no pattern this time

What languages can you count to ten or higher in? englihs, polish, russian Where did you get the underwear you’re wearing? Auchan

Are you good in painting yopur nails with your left hand? not even with my right one lol Do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? very Do you call any of your friends by their last name? that would be weird How long does it take you to get out of bed in the morning? long? Have either of your grandparents ever told you a sexual joke? I don’t recall Would you rather give up the computer or the TV? gave up TV Which room in your house tends to be the coldest in the winter time? bathroom Are you trying to grow out your hair? need to cut my hair but not bangs

How many times does the letter ’t’ occur in your full name? once

What brand is the shirt you’re wearing? I cut the tag but I believe I bought it in Sinsay First person you spoke to today? my mother Name of first boyfriend/girlfriend? dunno who to count First place you lived? same as currently Who was your 1st teacher? not counting pre school and Mrs. Alinka - my aunt  Last person to call you? labor office Last song you heard? Melanie Martinez - Bombs on Monday Morning Last thing you bought? silver glittery ugg slippers :3 Where was your facebook display photo taken? hospital How many people have you kissed in the last 2 weeks? nobody What were you doing at 10 this morning? waking up Have you ever dated an Emily? umm... How many pairs of flip flops do you own? 0 What is the weather like right now? perfect - hot, zephyr, clouds :D why am I not outside?... Where was the last place you went that was more than 30 minutes away? mall Something you wear all the time that you’d feel naked without? panties, unless I’m sleeping

Do you live within an hour of the ocean? not even sea Do you ever do things even though you know you’ll regret it later? sometimes I might :( What are you currently sitting/laying on? my desk chair Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? no but I had a crush on one of them for a moment What do you plan to be doing 2 hours from now? eating? Have you ever been a clown for Halloween? not Halloween What time did you go to bed last night? early and immediately fallen asleep which never happens to me but I was so exhausted that I was falling on my face while I was blow drying my hair When was the last time it rained? yesterday or day before Have you ever made yourself throw up?  no way in hell When was the last time you went camping? middle school? Are you currently wearing anything orange? am not Do you know anyone who is a nurse? neighbor Would you prefer to own a lapdog or a bigger dog? lapdog Are you currently wearing any jewelry? nope Was any of it given to you? - What was the worst thing to happen to you today? health issues, annoying people, nothing new? Do you know anyone who plays guitar? I tried myself Did anyone tell you that you looked nice today? mentioned that in this survey so look above How many missed calls have you had today? two Did you graduate high school within the last 3 years? it’s been over 5 years  If not, will you graduate within the next 3 years? not applicable as you can see Which is coming next: Christmas or your birthday? Christmas Do you have any money on yourself at the moment? mhm Do you sleep in the nude? nope Do you ever walk around the house naked if no one is home? neither What is your favorite way to spend a cool autumn night? sleeping duh! Where was the last place you slept other than your house? hospital Do you have any big plans for the weekend? work in progress, we’ll see, deciding  How many relationships have you been in so far this year? like 1 Have you ever dated someone who had a child? pfft, I dislike kids so... Are you taller than 5'6"? I’m smol 

When was the last time you saw someone you went to high school with?: this year

How long have your parents been together (or how long were they together, if they no longer are): 30+ years

How long would it take you to walk to the nearest store?: ~10 minutes

How old were you when you got your first smartphone?: 25 or something

Have you ever had a parrot sit on your shoulder?: monkey for a second

Has anyone in your life ever treated you abusively?: majority of society

Do you like The Rolling Stones?: prefer Depeche Mode

What’s something you’ve been struggling with lately?: life

How old were you in 1996? 4

How old will you be in 2026? won’t live that long but 34 What song is playing? Mosimann & MARUV - Mon Amour

Are you better at math or art? art Science or History? science, I’m bad at remembering dates and names

Where did you go to pre-school, if you went at all? my town

Have you ever dated someone & then dated their sibling? I wouldn’t be able to do such a thing What do you think of the 1980’s? cool :) Is their anything living (plant, animal, etc) in your room right now? me and plants How old is the cellphone you have right now? couple years old What are your initials, using the last letter of each of your names? AA as I’m a woman - dodaj jedno A i będziemy anonimowymi alkoholikami

Are both your parents still living? they are  Can you do a handstand? used to Is it after 11am? it’s almost 5 pm What’s the longest time you’ve ever spent on the phone? talking or doing other stuff? How many pairs of brown shoes do you own? do I even own any?... Are you on any prescribed medications? plan to be sadly Would you ever or do you have a nose piercing? doubt it, thought about septum as a teenager but no longer want it

How many days until Christmas? months Is your mom over 50? she is  How old were you 7 years ago? 21 Do you know what ‘C'est la vie’ means? even tho I don’t know this language  Are you wearing anything red? leggings Do you live in an apartment? house Do you wish on dandelions? I blow them but don’t wish on them Are you drinking anything right now? I’m going to  About how tall is your father? taller than me Do you know anyone who has lived to be 100+? not personally Have you had your birthday yet this year? in February Do you read your horoscope on a regular basis? nah Do you like the color yellow? it’s one of my fav colors Are you an aunt or uncle? yes What is your hair like at the moment? fine What would you name be if your last name was the color of your shirt? Black If you could find out how you would die, would you want to know? yasss but what about date? Has anyone ever told you you should be a model? with my height? r u serious? Who is the artist/band you’re listening to at the moment? Boy Epic Is there a calendar in the room you’re in? pocket and poster type If you’re single, do you wish you were in a relationship? am in a relationship Were you born in the 1980’s? 90s What was your first favorite movie? animated Robin Hood with a fox and Jumanji also Goonies What was your first trip to the emergency room for? not counting being born too early - I was choking due to the fact I got wrong meds for my lungs, later I ended up in ER as an adult for stomachache (took me in an ambulance) Where was the first place you went today? store What was the first thing you thought about when you woke up? dream that I had Do you remember the first time you spent the night away from home? grandma’s apartment but not exact night as I was just a child What was the last movie you rented? I srsly can not remember Why did you last get angry? neighbor is mowing grass... every single day for whole day long How long ago was your last birthday? half year ago Do you enjoy helping people move or do you not like it? I’ve never helped anyone move 

Have you been taking more or less surveys as of recently? less as I was absent

[astudyinimagination]

@orelseatlastsheunderstoodit​ did this and then invited anybody else who wanted to do it to do it too so I’m doing it. Does that sentence REALLY make sense? Pffffft, idk. It amused me.

when was the last time you left your home?

St. Paddy’s Day, actually. Me and my coworkers were supposed to start working from home that day, but production slowed to a crawl and we all got called back in. Since then, I’ve been home... and very glad I went to the library and checked out a few books just nine days before Governor Whitmer’s stay-at-home order came through.

what was the last thing you bought?

POPCORN. Amazon FINALLY has back in stock the brand that we usually get from Meijer, so I bought a whopping twenty-four bags and I am SO excite. (Look, there’s 6 people in this house.)

is quarantine driving you insane or are you finally relaxed?

I mean, this whole thing is stressful. Just trying to stay stocked with all the stuff we regularly need like toilet paper and hand soap is stressful (6 people, remember). But I’m really grateful that my job is essential, and I’m even more grateful that I really can work from home. And...

who are you spending quarantine with?

My mom and my youngest four siblings. It’s really nice to not be alone, and my heart goes out to the people who are alone and don’t want to be. Being with my family is great. Being able to complain to my mom while I’m working is wonderful. (I’m sure she doesn’t think so, lol, but she is patient, bless her.)

do you have pets to keep you company?

The little turtle we’re turtle-sitting for an indeterminate amount of time (I am not complaining). His name is Frisbee and he is adorable.

what are your current responsibilities?

Work, dishes, making popcorn and coffee. :D

do you have a room to yourself?

Yup.

are you exercising?

When it’s nice out, I try to make the time to take walks out in our (fortunately big) yard, including going out on break from work. Last week was hard because it snowed almost every day! Today I finally got back out and the fresh air and the sun were SO NICE.

town, country, city?

Town(ship).

how’s your toilet paper supply?

Pretty sure we’ll make it to that bulk order I made a couple of weeks ago. As long as it gets here when it’s supposed to, we’ll be okay. But this whole toilet paper shortage has me worried, and I am very angry with the people who caused it in the first place.

what’s the worst thing that you had to cancel?

I mean... I didn’t really have anything scheduled to cancel? But on the other hand, I was finally feeling like, after the craziness of February and my tax returns coming in and all, I could finally splurge and go out with @corgily for pizza. AND THEN THIS HAPPENED. Really, really, really hope Silver Beach Pizza is still gonna be there when she and I are finally able to go!

what’s the best thing you’ve had to cancel?

Orelseatlastsheunderstood it said, “Getting dressed up for work!” aaaaand... AGREED. I have actually pajaminated (paginated in pajamas, natch) a couple of times this past week and I will again this week and it’s great.

who do you miss the most?

Driving my car. Miss having quality time with my little CARDIS.

do you have any new hobbies?

Pfffffft, you need energy to have hobbies! 😂

what are you watching the most?

Well, I binged Avatar: The Last Airbender. First time. It was amazing. I’ve got the musical 1776 and a couple of animes to watch next, and then I’m seriously considering watching Babylon 5.

are you still going to work?

Nope, thank goodness.

what are you out of?

Nothing... yet...

have you made any changes to your hair during quarantine? No, but I do have to remember to cut it to my new summer-time length. (New as of a couple of years ago. Before then I used to keep it pretty long.) Also... I don’t always brush it in the morning before work. xD BECAUSE I DON’T GOTTA. (I do ALWAYS brush it before bed tho.)

[mendesnecessary]

Could you do a 16&19 from the kiss list? Xx

A/n: I’m sorry for taking so long to post, I’ve been a little distant but hopefully I’ll be back soon. Hope you like it, a little fluff and small reader!Xshawn

Word count: 881

16. new year kiss and 19. shy kiss

Something new

It was the start of February, the middle of the winter and end of the year.

Shawn and Y/n were in Hong Kong, China, to celebrate the new year eve since they weren’t together in December to do it in the occidental tradition. She was a tourism student so loving and knowing about different cultures was one of her passions, so when they realize that 2019 would be the first year they didn’t celebrate together in their 4 year relationship Shawn was quick to say y/n was going to find a way. And so she did.

Their tradition was new year eve together, but not exactly the occidental new year eve. And there she was, trying to figure out something good for her hair that particular night.

“Babe, we’re gonna be late, we’ve got get there early otherwise it’ll have a bunch of people” Shawn whines from the door frame of the hotel bathroom.

“I wanted to try something new with my hair, but nothing really seems to please me” she pouts looking at her boyfriend from the big mirror in her front. Just the basic of makeup and a long dress with long sleeves that enframed her wrists in a cute way.

“What about braid it?” Shawn suggests.

Y/n sighs taking in the possibility.

“That’s a good option tho”

“Perfect, I’ll braid your hair while we’re in the taxi. Now, shall we go?”

“Gonna add this to the list of reasons why I love you.” she jokes letting go of her long hair and walking to him. Shawn holds her waist bringing her even closer and pressing their lips together in a chaste kiss.

“Love you too, honey. Now, can we?”

“Of course” she pecks his lips one last time before getting her small bag in the bed and making the way to the door.

Shawn didn’t wanna be late to get to the harbor since he knew it would be full of people and y/n was a little shy when it comes to events like these. When they decided to come to the new year he took his time searching not only for the perfect place to stay but also the perfect time to get to the harbor, the perfect thing to do right after, other options and good traditional Chinese things they could do in the first week of the year. He was really putting effort on that. Shawn was head over heels for y/n and anyone could tell just by the way he looked at her.

He braided her hair in the taxi in the twenty minutes they spent in the traffic and used the other ten to plan his next actions of the day.

When they get to the harbor there’s a considerable amount of people, but they managed to find the perfect spot. He can see some ships a little far, glowing in the darkness of the night, Shawn suggested a cruise, but y/n liked it simple so the harbor was her favorite. She wasn’t really a fan of all the attention, so whenever she had the option to take the most simple and comfortable option, she would do so.

They watched some other tourists walking around and how the night was beautiful. The cold winter breeze hitting their faces and messing some strands of her hair off of the braid, the top of her nose getting a cute color and her body looking for his warmth.

She was happy, you could easily tell, Shawn otherwise was a little restless glancing at his watch every once in a while.

“Is everything okay, honey?” she asked looking for some answer in his apprehensive expression.  

Shawn shoots her a small smile nodding.

“Yeah…I’m just anxious for…the fireworks”

She nods before getting back into her curious analyze of everything around. It was so new. Her very first time in this particular event and in this city, everything seemed so new and catching, even Shawn on his knees in front of her…

WAIT! She tried to process what was starting to happen.

“It’s almost midnight and I wanted something new for us in this year that is coming…” he smiles fishing his back pockets. Y/n is shocked in his front, still trying to process the event.

“Shawn…” she whispers in disbelief. Some people around starting to notice what was happening and stopping to watch.

“Would you like to try something new with me this year? So, honey…will you marry me?? You have 5 seconds to think before the fireworks” he chuckles.

At this point her eyes are wide, she’s in the line between being shocked and overwhelmingly happy, almost crying. The only thing she is able to do is nod her head numerous times before he gets up and wraps his arms around her body in a tight hug. Some people around claps and the countdown starts. They faced each other during the 9 seconds, getting lost into each other before finally pressing their lips together in the last second. It was a shy kiss, there were too many people around and too many noises, but still, the soft touch of lips send shivers to all over the couple’s body. So when the Chinese 2019 arrived, y/n was Shawn fiancée and Shawn…Shawn was the happiest man in the whole world.

Tell me if you like it and send me new requests here

my masterlist

[brighterluv]

10 for 10 for 10 Tag Game

Tagged by my love, @cuddlememerrick  Rules: Answer the 10 questions, write your own 10 questions then tag 10 people!

What was the first video game console you remember playing?: it was the really old gameboy that didn’t even have its own light like if you wanted to play in the dark you needed to but an attachment. 

Favorite book?: Aimee I hate you for asking this. I read so much and can’t keep track of anything anymore YIKES. but! there’s a great memior called “Because We Are Bad” by Lily Bailey about her journey with OCD which is important to me as someome with OCD and similar experiences to her. I need people to know what OCD is really like....so read it.

What does your dream home look like?: OOF ok nothing like giant, but a decent house with enough room for me, my s/o (assuming i have one), some pets, and an office/studio for me and that hopeful s/o. lots of natural light, open concept, funky decor and colors, PLANTS, decent backyard for aforementioned pets. lovely patio space. the studio would be for some cool photo stuff and post production etc. idk man im 20 and never planned to live past 16.

Who was your first concert and your last?: first concert: Green Day, I was like 7 years old lol. most recent: All Time Low NP anniversary show in December 

Why did you join Tumblr?: some new friends i met at camp had one and they were like you should really join!!! even tho they were deep in 1d stuff and i didnt care about any of that so i just memed until i found an interest. but i was like 12

What is something good that has happened to you recently?: FUCK MAN WHAT THE WORLD IS ENDING but I guess getting an internship for the summer (that may or may not still happen depending on the COVID-19 situation) but its my first internship!! (this happened in like February lol) I also got a 98% on an exam before school imploded!!

What’s your go to comfort outfit?: Listen...I have outfits specifically for when im feeling lazy but still want to look decent. One of which makes me look like every dude on campus (T-shirt with a zip up hoodie over it and a jean jacket over THAT, black probably ripped jeans, and converse) I also have one where it’s a mens flannel over a band tee with jeans and converse but the flannel is tied at the bottom

Do you believe in aliens?: statistically they HAVE to exist. the concept of infinity is so powerful and the universe is infinite....so there is no way there aren’t aliens. 

Favorite classic Disney film?: I don’t know tbh. I watched them all maybe once or twice when I was a wee one but haven't since and don’t remember much of them. I think the story of Mulan is the coolest tho

Favorite thing from a different era?: I am a fashion nerd and a fashion history nerd so I love the style (even tho so many designers and brands were nazis so that makes me big sad). I also just like the general aesthetic of certain periods (art deco, flapper culture, 50s diners and cars....) the only bad parts to me is all the racism and sexism and homophobia and antisemitism and bad mental health care and......basically i like the idealized version of the past that is shown through movies and stuff

Here are my 10 for yall:

1. What skill would you love to have but don’t?

2. Dream travel itinerary?

3. If you could succeed and live very comfortably with ANY career, what would that be?

4. What do you think is the best thing about you? (in these trying times we wanna be positive)

5. You get $1million BUT you literally wear your emotions on your sleeve. Example, you are at a friend’s performance and “BORED” is displayed and glowing on your arm or outer most layer of clothes, no hiding it. Would you take the money?

6. What is one album you never get sick of listening to?

7. Favorite platform to consume video content (youtube, hulu, netflix, etc) and what is your favorite show/channel on that platform?

8. If you could be best friends with any celebrity, who would it be and why?

9. What was the most memorable/bizarre dream you’ve ever had?

10. Favorite hobby/pastime? 

TAGGING (but dont feel obligated): @edge-oftonight @knucklxpuck @eukelades @icecave @damydevito @takethistyourgrave @glowysheen @webrakeforcows

Hope yall are doing ok during all this craziness!! much love

[modernsocialmediaau]

a dropped penny said this feels so liberating

February 27, 2015

Camila's POV

First day of the Reflection Tour. Holy Shit. I'm going on tour! I've never imagined in my life that this could happen. I just thought I'd still be stuck in my room performing and never coming out but,  now I'm here. I've got 4 amazing best friends, an amazing boyfriend and an awesome job what could possibly go wrong?

" Girl you ready? " Dinah asks while I fixed my hair, I felt weird having it parted on the left or right, seeing that it's usually in the middle. While fixing my hair I could hear Dinah repeatedly taping her foot outside the door and I couldn't help but laugh.

" In a second, this doesn't just happened you know, " I joke, walking out of the dressing room following her to the meet and greet.

Our meet and greet. Ours.

" Girl whatchu talkin about we got a whole team dedicated to help us with all......this. " she said making a circle around her face, and lightly tapping her chin indicating the perfection that was her hair and face.

" Hush up. " I giggled linking our forearms together trying to catch up to the other girls.

You'd think by now I'd get use to the idea of screaming fans and adoring gifts but I still get so emotional. I mean I was in their shoes for who knows how long, screaming for strangers. Having fan accounts, writing/reading fan fictions and even making videos for my OTP which meant Harry and I (embarrassing). Mami use to think it was weird to love some stranger that I barely knew, but it's kinda hard to explain.

" CAMILA! CAMILA! CAMILA! " some girls shouted and I smiled at them and waved.

We first started with a couple of acoustic performances, a few questions and then onto meet and greets. Our first fan was a girl named Emily who greeted us in tears. She came to into my arms for a hug and I couldn't have been happier to squeeze her with love.

" O-my hands are shaking. " Emily said as she laughs hysterically not fully grasping the situation unfolding in front of her.

" It's alright we'll shake along with you, " I joked and started shaking while the other girls followed

" I love you so much, " she cried into our arms as we gave her one of our warmest group hugs

" Oh we love you, " we surprisingly responded in unison.

" So what would like us to do babes? " Lauren asked smilingly wrapping her arm around Emily, making her almost faint. You could tell she was weak in the knees. Lauren always had that affect on people, I would know.

" Can we pretend to make it rain? " she laughs at herself,

" With what tho? " Dinah asked

" Oh-uhm-I already prepared this. " she takes out fake money and shreds of green paper, " Ay! " we all cheered.

" Yes! Girl you are ready!! " Mani cheered as she evenly handed out the slips of paper or fake money and I prepared myself to make it rain.

" We didn't choose the thug life the thug life choose us. " I said earning weird looks from Ally, Normani, and Dinah while Lauren and Emily laughed

" Ready 1,2,3 " the photographer and onto the next fans.

About 30 minutes within the meet and greet, I decided to act cute by holding Lauren's hands and let one of my legs pop out. As soon as that shutter clicked the screams got louder, a few aw's, and they started screaming a name I recognized.

" CAMREN! CAMREN! CAMREN! " they continued to cheer After the two girls left I whispered to Lauren, " Camren? " I feel like this was a discussion topic before, but I just can't remember. She shifts uneasily away from me making me question her even more.

I looked at the others girls, Dinah gave me an I-got-no-clue, Ally gave me a sorry-I-don't-know-either, and Normani gave me nothing it's like she didn't hear me.

" Lauren? " I ask snapping her out of her thoughts

" Sorry Cam-Camila, " she stutters,

Odd. ~~~

I decided after the meet and greet I'll search up Camren. I mean I know it's a ship name but where have I heard it before? While the hairdresser fixed my hair I searched it up on my phone. They're were Tumblr tags which I obviously clicked on.

It was Lauren and I.

Oh right.

Now I remember, Camren. That same name that gave me hope, Camren. That idea of Lauren actually finally saying she loved me back, Camren. At the same time, the same lie that tore me down every single day of my life until I realized. Camren wasn't and will never be real. Thank you, Camren.

" Lauren! " I said catching her attention. The older woman looked up from her phone and gave me surprised look.

" Look, " I hand her my phone and watch as she scrolled through the tag,

" Weren't we cute? " I said trying to lightly tread over the subject. Camren hasn't exactly been the best towards me,  and it still feels like a fresh wound.

In the beginning it was hell because , well, I wanted it to be true. But the more I thought of it the more scared and untrue it became the more awkward it got.

" Super " she says boringly I guess she's not too fond of it at the moment. We use to take so much pride of owning and loving our friendship, but now....nothing. It's like there is no Camren.

" Right, no wonder they were screaming that, " I laugh at myself while she agreed, still holding something back,

" Are you okay? " I ask

" Yea. " she fakes a smile

" You're a horrible liar, Are you sure? " I turn to her making the hairdresser mad I gave her sorry and continued to pay attention to Lauren. I know I had no right talking to her as if icing her out never happened but that was the only way to get over her. The only way for me to move on, and the idea of her knowing that there was even a " her " to move on from, was unbearable.

" Yeah Camila, just tired you know, " she fakes,

" It's the first day of tour, " I say making her lightly chuckle, taking me by surprise. I haven't really heard her laugh or chuckle like that in a while.

" Well you know me, working hard or hardly working, " that was the last thing she said before she left.

I nod trying to understand that we can no longer talk to each other how we use too. What I mean by that is, joke around, playfully hit each other, pretend to flirt and-I don't even know anymore. We're just awkward now.

~~~

Lauren's POV

Couple minutes earlier...

" Lauren, " Camila called

" Look, " she hands me her phone and watch as I scrolled through our tag. I had to be careful as to how I would react to this Camren stuff.

This wasn't the first time this was brought up to us privately and publicly. And every time it was brought up she somehow dodged it faster than she can dodge a bullet but it hasn't happened in quite a while. Like a year long, so yeah a while. Back then (X-Factor first part of Harmonize America) we didn't seem to care we were just friends, but Austin came into the picture. Then one day she practically just stopped being my best friends. I mean she got close to the other girls and so did I. Ever since then we have had this awkward friendship hiatus. Or whatever she'd like to call it.

" Isn't that cute, "

Cute? That is beyond the farthest thing I thought she would have said. It's like she had amnesia for a year because she suddenly sparks an interest in our past. 1 month into her ignoring me the girls decided it was to act as if there was no Camren, Camren was not a word, nor did it ever happen. Our friendship seem to vanish in thin air.

" Super " I don't think I'm angry about it I mean it's been a year and stuff but now it's like I'm just numb. I mean we use to be inseparable and now we can't even be in a room together without making it awkward enough for one of us to leave.

" Right, no wonder they were screaming that, " she laughs at herself while I agreed carefully. That's the keyword here, well every time I should say. Anytime we have a conversation I always have to keep in mind to be CAREFUL as to how I approach each conversation, it's like walking on eggshells.

" Are you okay? " she asks

" Yea. " I fake a smile

" You're a horrible liar, Are you sure? " she turns to me making the hairdresser mad, she gave her sorry and continued to pay attention to me

" Yeah Camila, just tired you know, " I make up, and yea I don't call her Camz anymore because I'm scared. That's what it's like now, scary.

" It's the first day of tour, " she says making me naturally chuckle.

" Well you know me, working hard or hardly working, " I said jokingly and walked away from her.

After I left the room I began to panic, I walk past the dressing room and looked for Normani. I walked passed about 5 different hallways until I found her walking out of the bathroom.

" Normani! " I scream making her jump and look at me worriedly

" What? Whats wrong? " she says while we held each other's forearm dramatically

" Camila, she's-talking to me? " I mutter, I know what your thinking why should I be panicking about her talking to me. And the reason to that is last time this happened things went too far. For one thing I almost lost my mind trying to get answers as to what I did to her, making her ignore me. Secondly, I almost told her I loved her. Still love.

" Oh. " her eyes popped open and began to worry along with me. Normani's has been my rock through this whole experience she knows every single thing that has happened like a map.

•••

" Alright girls can we run it from the top for Better Together? Make sure your are in sync and one with each other. " Sean snapped at us trying to bring us back. We're currently in the middle of rehearsing and putting together our opening act for Demi's Neon Lights Tour. Not only that, 2 weeks from now the tour starts and so does finishing our first official album, so everything is pretty hectic.

" Lauren? " Normani clapped getting my attention, I guess I was the only one left seeing that the rest of the girls were in their position. I released a small huff and weak smile before running to my spot. I watch Normani give me a questioning smile, and I just shook it off and got my head in the choreo.

After rehearsals the girls and I were cleaning up our stuff, seeing that I didn't usually make a mess of things I finished rather quickly so I decided to talk to Camila.

" Hey Camz, " I lightly tap her shoulder, she quickly shuttered away. Ouch.

" Hi Lauren, " she says coldly, I shook it off and just continued to smile.

" The Notebook and Chill tonight? " I joke hoping she'd finally crack a smile at me.

" I-uhhm-I can't--because I've-Uhm-I've got plans. " she struggled to finished.

" Oh, alright. " I sighed almost reaching towards her for a hug goodbye.

" Yeah, maybe next time? " she let out a fake smile before walking away from our short and meaningless conversation. " Sure. " I whisper. I felt the formation of tears come but I couldn't let them out yet, not here not now. I let out a sniffle and quickly gathered the tears on my index finger letting them go, that's when a felt a familiar gesture of comfort. Which was Normani wrapping her shoulder around me and asking;

" Can you tell me now? I've watched the same thing unfold over 100 times in 3 months, maybe it's good to finally talk about it? "

Seeing the tour started her in LA we decided to stay until we left for the tour. The girls and I stayed at our usual hotel with our usual sleeping arrangements but I wish I was rooming with Camila.

After the release of our EP and promo tour she's been so cold, it's like after we got signed we hung out less and less. And even if we did it wasn't for more than 5 hours, I get it she's got other friends and stuff but why the sudden cold shoulder.

And at the mention of our ship name Carmen it's like she's disgusted, which doesn't make sense because we created Camren.

" What's going on Lo? " Mani wondered as we entered our hotel room. I placed my bag down on the floor, and plopped down my bed faced down. I let out a groan before I felt the tears fell and the song of sobs began.

" Lauren? " she questions lifting my shoulder and turning me over, " Okay you're worrying me, please tell me what's wrong? " she then say me up and pulled me into a really really tight hug.

" Lauren please tell me what's wrong? I gave you space and waited for an explanation for but now I could careless. This isn't you, for the past 3 months I've watched you approach Camila then come back here and mope. Please tell me what's happening. " she practically begged making me cry even more.

" I'll grab you some tissues and water and I'll be right back okay, " she stood up from my bed and walked away to grab what she said she would while I grabbed the pillow behind me. I brought the pillow to my chest and watched Mani come walking back to me with the items.

I used a couple of tissues to clear my nose and drank some water to wet my super dry throat.

" Lauren? " she asked once more. " Camila hates me. " I state making her scoff not believing me, but seeing that I started to cry again she knew I was serious.

" Where'd you get that idea? " she rubbed my shoulder and brought my head on her shoulder.

" She won't talk to me, she won't even acknowledge my presence. " I cried into her shoulder,  " Shh...shh...that's a bit ridiculously isn't it? I mean you and Mila are like best friends. " she explained trying to convince other wise.

" Are we? "

•••

" Okay what about? I think we've established your love for her, " she jokes trying to lighten the mood

" Camren. She knows! Mani she knows! SHE'S FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT! " I say almost breaking into tears shocking her. Her eyes widen and gave me a quick hug before saying

" Hey, hey, hey listen to me let's go on the bus okay, " she drags me out as tears began to pour

We left the venue and found our way to the bus, thankfully there was no one there. We walked to the back of the bus since we know that's where we would get more privacy there.

" Tell me what happened? " she asks sitting across from me

" Didn't you hear her question earlier? " I ask hugging my knees to my chest

" Yes, but I tried to act like I didn't hear it, and it hasn't really come up in months specially from her side. So it was weird," she answered

"Yea but now I'm getting flashbacks about those horrible months with her giving me such a cold shoulder. And now it's even worse because it's like she's trying to play some fucked up game. Where she'd gained my trust again, figure out what I'm hiding, then ice me out again because of said secret. "  

" Wait! So she doesn't actually know? " she interrupts me

" Well-no, " I answer, she sighs loudly

" Listen to me honey, maybe she finally realized that what she did was wrong and she's just trying to rekindle your friendship okay. Just don't act suspicious during the subject, " She advised

" But that's what I'm worried about, what if she questions me about it. " I began to sob again. She stood up and walked to my side

" Don't give her a reason to read into it. Okay, don't give them a reason to think my that you know somethin-"

" But I do. " I interrupt

" Yes and only you and I know about that. " she smiles comforting me

" What if she finds out, I can't take another ice cold Camila. I like how everything is and I've accepted it. " I say while she sat there sarcastically laughing, I looked at her not getting what was so funny about what I said.

" Are you serious? " she stood back up

" What? "

" You like how everything is? Are you serious? HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY ACCEPT SOMETHING UNNECESSARY! Listen to me you don't deserve this okay, she should have given you an explanation. I seriously thought that during that last month of Neons Lights Tour everything would be back normal again. I didn't think it could get any worse, never did I ever imagine that she could do it again. Not only that as soon as you almost confessed you love she wave around the idea of her and Austin. It's as if burning you twice wasn't enough for her. I love Mila as much as the next girl but that's not how she should've handle the situation. " she paced while I disappointingly agreed

" I didn't think it would be this bad Mani, I really didn't. It's just a crush. " I sobbed

" I know, I know. But you still need to know the truth.This is how Camren should've been handled, not ignored." she caresses my hair comforting me

" Well I can't tell her! You saw how she acted, about this Mani! " I defended myself

" Alright I see your point? But it's just a crush and your not a lesbian " she says

" Who isn't a lesbian? "Camila walked into the back scaring Mani and I

" Uh, Rebel Wilson " Mani quickly answered

" Oh that's a bummer, " she smiles

" Hey are you okay? " she asked and Mani looked at me with a act-normal look before she left

" Yea just really nervous, " I say caressing my hands

" Why? You've performed so many times before? " she laughs and sits down next to me

I shift a little more to my left to have some space between us, but that only made her come closer.

Come on Lauren! Act normal!

" Well it's our first official tour where it's just us, you know, " I say looking at her

Her eyes their so simple and cute I could stare at them all day. Some might say that brown is plain and boring but not hers it's like every time I look in them I can see all the amazing things she can do. My mom always said if you ever fall in love with somebody don't fall for their looks but fall for their eyes because the eyes are the only that lasts forever. They are so mesmerizing, and her hair her perfectly curly light colored hair falling on her shoulder we're just killers. If looks could kill, I would be dead.

" Lo? " she surprisingly says, haven't heard that in a while " Yea? " I weakly smiled

" I said, it won't matter what happened we're all in this together. " she smiles holding my hand.

" Right, well I have to get my make-up done again, so I'll see you later. " I got up from the couch and left the bus

When I step foot onto the pavement someone grabbed my arm and pulled me to the front of the bus.

" Mani what the hell? " I say

" What happened? " she asks eagerly

" Nothing, now seriously I have to get my make up done again. " I plainly answered

She nods her head and we made our way back to our dressing room. This is going to be one long and interesting tour.

A/N Guys I hoped you liked the first chapter please lemme know ;)

Here are some helpful tips for the future: (•••): Flashback (---): Next Scene (*Words*): Phone Call

[irepookie]

Infinity Ch.6- Of Unicorns and Fairies.

Summary: QUEEN AU where Roger Taylor is a young single dad struggling to make it into music industry.

Warnings: not really. Just fluff, sappiness and swearwords here and there

Disclaimer : I don't own the pictures. The boys are based on Queen, (but slightly changed for the sake of the plot). Piper, Gina and Callie are mine.

So, I’ve decided to change the names back for this chapter, just because.

Found this pic on Tumblr, don’t remember where. Sorry. 

None of the boys would ever forget the first time they met their niece...

It was four days after Rog and Piper's first day at home. All he seemed to do was feed, being puked on, change, being peed/ pooped on, not sleep, survive on coffee, walk around, feed, being puked on... Oh, and cry. Sometimes it was just impossible not to join her.

Besides, if she didn't decide to grow out of the skin to skin thing and found another way to content herself soon, Rog was going to catch some serious cold.

That's why he was happy to get a call from the boys, that gave him a reason to walk out of the feed-puke-change cycle for a while. Also he was glad to speak with somebody without cooing.

All of that said, the prospect of leaving the house for the first time with Piper was scary.

"C'mon Rog, we gotta knock the last demo out before we can send the album" Brian insisted, when he said he'd <<think about it>>.

"And we wanna meet her!" Fred's voice chimed in from the background.

"You do?" He replied above her cries as he laid her on her tummy so she rested across his forearm. "Shhhhh"

"Of course!" Brian reassured. "She's our niece!"

"I don't know man..." He trailed off,  looking down at his kid, who screamed for no apparent reason, making him feel a total useless man for the third time that morning. "She isn't feeling well. And honestly I'm feeling like a piece of  shit too. Haven't slept in 5 days" he then softened his tone looking down at the little girl as he swayed her side to side in a vain attempt to calm the two of them down. "Hush Princess. You're alright."

"C'mon. Don't make us go there. We expect you there at 3..."

"3 Is tummy time" he said automatically.

"Tummy time? What the hell??" Brian had the same reaction he had when reading about it. It did sound ridiculous if you didn't know what it was about

"Yes it's... Lay her on her stomach so she'll eventually learn to hold her head and stuff. It's very important."

He tried to remember the long list of benefits he had read countless times in the books, but his brain told him to piss off.

"And how long does that take you?" The guitarist sighed.

"Oh just a couple minutes but she can get a bit cranky and that's like... I don't know, the time to get her settled down is different each time and... Right after that it's her feed, and I wanna do that here just in case she gets sick on me which is apparently like her own little Olympic sport so then I'll have to bath her and get her ready. And then... Look, 4-4:15 sounds alright? She'll be asleep by then and I'll have time for one song."

"Ufff..  I'm exhausted just from hearing you pal." Brian chuckled. "Okay, come at 4. We'll get our parts recorded so you do yours when you get there. So our silly mistakes won't ruin your tempo" he mocked.

"Yea, yes whatever." Rog chuckled too, feeling the nappy to see if that was the problem.

"But if you don't like our arrangement,. you can fuck yourself okay?"

"What-fucking-ever mate." He replied. The nappy was not wrong, and he was running out of goddamn ideas.

"John asks if You still remember to play." Brian laughed.

Rog didn't dignify that with a reply and simply hung up to focuse on his daughter. She had to be fine! "Hey baby, what's wrong? C'mon," he pleaded "I've just fed you, and you can't be dirty yet. So what's the matter, hon? Give me a clue and I swear I'll figure it out but I need your help darl'." He began to pace around the small apartment, and placed his hand on her back for support.

He adored her, really, but for someone who couldn't even roll on herself, or anything at all by herself, she kept him on his toes and worn out.

"Come on, come... Oww." Just as requested, Piper replied to his questions by puking all over him. Fuck. He always forgot to burp her after the feeds! He just couldn't remember it when he had to. And the Prune always made him pay the price. He sighed, giving in to the cycle again.

Thankfully, just as Rog had predicted, by 4 Piper had settled into sleep, after being changed, fed, and everything. She was all ready to go. And so was Rog. Or so he thought.

Had he grabbed enough formula? What if he lost a pinky? Better get them all. It was February, maybe she'd get cold so he grabbed a few more blankets. And a parenting book just in case something new happened he didn't know how to handle. Oh and a change of clothes, and half a packet of nappies. And some toys so she wouldn't get bored. Okay, now they were ready to... Oh fuck, where had he left the car keys?!

To put a long story short, he basically ended up stuffing three extra bags into the car "just in case" but almost forgot Piper inside.

Meanwhile, in the studio….

"He's late." Fred pointed out when the clock ticked 5 and their drummer still hadn't shown up. That was usually Fred, who was often late and even tho Rog came close second, it was unlike him to take this long.

Then again, Rog was pretty much unlike himself lately.

"Do you think they're fine?"

"Sure. Maybe he's just fallen asleep." John reassured.

"Maybe he's had to go back cause he's forgotten the baby." Fred giggled. That would be something Rog was totally capable of.

Suddenly the door opened, and Rog entered with a bag one hand Piper's car seat on the other. His hair couldn't be messier if he tried, and... Was that vomit on his shoulder?

"This is she then?"

"The one and only." Rog beamed proudly as he set the carseat where they could all have a look at his newborn daughter.

"She's... " Brian raised an eyebrow, not really sure of what to say. "Um... what's the regular comment?"

"Oh you can say it. She's a prune." Rog admitted, while readjusting the green blanket on her for the 10th time since they had left home. She was wearing 5 layers plus the blanket, and honestly looked so cozy Rog was proud of himself; if he managed to end this first outing without the prune catching a cold, he'd consider this a success.

They nodded in agreement. She was a . wrinkly thing for sure.

"And this is nothing compared to how she looked on her birth day." Rog continued. "But she's a beautiful prune. My lil' raisin" he smiled softly at her before glaring menacingly at his band mates. "And I will punch the shit out of whoever disagrees."

The other three laughed nervously, instinctively backing up a little. They knew Rowan Queen wasn't one to joke about punching.

"She's one cute prune." John agreed a smile from ear to ear, going to hug his friend, soon joined by the other two.

"Em, what's that smell?" Fred said, as they all scrunched their noses and looked down at the carseat.

"I don't smell anything."

"Well, pal... She must've killed your nasal nerves or something cause... Damn" Brian said

"But she can't... I mean she's just gone." Rog leaned over to sniff around his daughter sides so he wouldn't disturb her. "Nope. Not her."

Fred leaned over him and breathed. "When was the last time you took a shower, man?"

The thoughtful expression on their friend's face was all the answer they needed.

"It's you" they all said at once.

"Aw, fuck really tho?" Rog smelt his armpit. "I still don't smell anything"

"Brain defense mechanism." Brian pointed out. "Oh wait you missed that biology class cause you were hangover again."

"Shut up, Brian. I'm hella sleep deprived you don't want to mess with me."

The others chuckled. He was the embodiment of exhaustion, but something had changed. He looked... Happier somehow. And still capable of punching someone in the face if tempted.

"So, let's begin." Rog clapped his hands together, anxious to finally get back behind the drums.

"Wait, you just gonna leave her here?" Ren asked.

"Yes. I can see her just fine from my spot. C'mon." He leaned over to kiss her forehead and entered the booth.

"Ain't getting in there with you, stinky dumpster." John scrunched up his nose.

"You're the ones who wanted me to be in the studio." Rog crossed the door and sat on his beloved stool. Damn it felt good to be back.

He had been so busy with Pips he hadn't really thought about drums, but now he realized how much he needed this.

"Where do we begin?"

"Sandstorm. Remember?" Brian smirked.

"Yes you just... Get the stick, hit the snares..." John joked.

"Don't forget the metal yellow Chinese hats. They're cymbals."  Fred chimed in too.

"And that pedal you have there? That's a base drum, very important."

He rolled his eyes, but played along, after letting his eyes flick to Pips. "How? Like this?" He played badly on purpose.

"Yes, lastly, there's a thing called rhythm , y'know? Try now?" Fred added.

His eyes flicked again to Pip, who stirred slightly. "Okay enough bullshit. Let's get started."

They did it in one take as he didn't lose tempo at all. Infact he was somewhat proud of himself for still having the skill on the kit. (Because, it had been less than two weeks since he had last sat on the stool, but it felt like years.) He also found his eyes flicking to his Piper every ten seconds or so, feeling the compulsive need to make sure he was fine.

Of course she was. She was sleeping in the car seat, nothing was gonna happen.

Timing was perfect. Just as the song was ending, he saw her begin to squirm in her car seat.

He finished the final bit with his eyes nailed on her, even sped up the tempo unconsciously, anxious to finish so he could get to her.

The other members noticed, of course, but didn't say anything when following his gaze towards the squirming infant and figuring out. They'd re-do the last bit later. That could wait. But watching Roger Taylor  interact with a baby -not any baby, but HIS own baby- was something as unimaginable for them at that point as seeing a fairy riding a flying yellow unicorn.

They didn't know what to expect.

"Hello sweetheart." He cooed, exiting the soundproofed glass to the table where her carseat sat and lifting her small squirming body to his sweaty chest. "Hey my love. Hey. Hush. Shush.  What is it? What's the matter darling?" He cooed, kissing her forehead. She was unusually warm. "Hey, you're feeling hot baby? Hmm? Well let me take care of that."

He lowered her to the couch and unswaddled her before taking another layer out. Maybe he had overdressed her. It was the first time they were properly out and he didn't know what to expect, so he decided to stuff her into 5 layers, before bundling her up. Okay now he knew that was overdoing it. "There we are lovie. C'mere." He brought her back to his chest, a smile escaping his lips when he felt the gentle tug of her small hand wrapping around his hair.

"Shhhhh. It's alright. It's okay baby." He began to pace rythmically around the room for a few minutes, until she calmed down. "There you are, you just wanted Daddy huh? Well I missed you too lil prune" he spoke, oblivious to everything else including the three pairs of eyes following them around as if he was a unicorn holding a fairy.

Damn he was like a completely different person.

"I didn't know he was so good with kids." Brian mumbled, all his doubts and worries clearing, if only a bit, at the look in his friends eyes.

Rog had always looked like he would become the typical bachelor with no ties and no commitment. Now he just looked like someone who was desperately in love.

"Paternal instinct, gentleman" John announced. "But I'm surprised he has one, tho." He added, after a moment of consideration.

The three of them had made a bet on whether the drummer would knock someone up, and apparently he and Brian had won Fred. John had been the closest: he said he'd do it before finishing high school.

But none of them had gone beyond that. Nobody was crazy enough to ever see this outcome happening. However, from that first conversation on the phone, something in his brother's voice when he told them about his new <<Lil'raisin>> sounded just right to him. And the way he now paced the room clutching the small bundle to him as if she was a treasure, just proved his point even more.

"Daddy..." was all Fred managed to mouth out of the hundreds of thoughts flashing on his brain. He was, to put it simple, speechless, but we'll get to that later.

"You're gonna love this place when you grow up, yes you will." Rog's voice continued, as he made his way back to the table. "And we will teach you to play Everything. And I bet you will rock on drums, just like Daddy..." His heart jumped in his chest at the concept of teaching his Prune how to play.

"Yes, he's called himself Daddy without any... Sexual subtext" Brian commented back to Fred.

Oh Fred's subtext was very much so.

"Little Rog finally grown!" John grinned, startling the drummer, who jolted out his bubble and held his daughter close.

"What?!" He hissed, offering his index to the babe.

"Nothing, just..." Brian began.

"Commenting the situation." John grinned.

"Hmm" Was all Fred could hum, still transfixed in his trance.

His friends just waved it off. This had happened before, once backstage -well, if the Campus' canteen restroom counted as backstage-, while they got ready. He was fine after a while.

"Is she okay?" John nodded towards the infant, who hadn't quite settled down yet.

"Oh, yes. Just... Overheated. It's a new feeling to her, cause our home isn't exactly a warmest place, is It?" The new dad changed her to an upright position on his shoulder so he could rub comforting circles on her back. "No it's not, so we have to sleep all bundled up." He looked up at his friends "Which reminds me I need help with the crib. I don't have time to do it alone and I'm afraid to end up crushing her one night."

Well, scared is not the word. Rather <<Terrified to the point sometimes he only felt it safe to sleep on the floor.>>

"Sure mate. We can help you out while you take a well deserved and needed shower." Brian suggested.

"Sounds like a plan"

Meanwhile John approached from behind Rog to get a good look at her. She was still wrinkly, but her eyes were already captivating and John knew she would use them against all of them in no time. Of course it was too soon to make out who she looked like, let alone start trying to guess who the mother was. And... Wait, that on her forehead...  "Is she supposed to have acne already?"

"Yep. I freaked out too when I saw it was, but it'll disappear in a bit." Rog said "Wanna hold her?"

"Woah, you sharing your girls?"

"Gotta look for her pinky anyway."

John grinned and held his arms out.

"Know how it goes?" Rog questioned, without moving one muscle.

"I'm studying pediatric psychology." John said matter of factly.

"That you're studying kids don't mean you actually know what to do with them."

"You didn't even studied kids -or anything at all- and you're fine. I got a bonus."

"If you fucking drop or hurt her man..." Rog warned, suddenly insecure about letting his child go.

"Just give her over, damn." John urged.

Rog kissed her forehead and passed her to John so he had her nestled in his arms.

"All good?" Rog asked. It felt weird, after being just the two of them since they had been discharged, to see her in someone else's arms. Which was ridiculous cause he was only turn around for two minutes to look for whatever pinky that hadn't decided to hide away.

"Perfect. Stop being a moron and do what you have to do." John looked down at his niece "Hello darling Piper. I know your brain is still hardly developed at this point and you're not gonna remember any of this but I'm your uncle John and I already love you very much." And he did. He knew he'd do anything for that new little person.

"Sappy." Fred grinned, back to being his witty self again.

"You cried watching Titanic. Your argument is invalid." John replied, eyes not leaving the tiny girl, who stared back at him.

"Everyone does, always."

"It was the 10th time you watched it!"

"And I don't trust anyone who doesn't cry every time Jack..." He chose not to say it, or he'd break down just from recalling it.

"He's a silly one, that Fred, isn't he?" John cooed down at Piper, who kept looking at him with those round grey eyes, and he had a vision, or a prediction, that those eyes would make him buy her a pony in a few years time.

"I'll just never understand why people speak with that high pitched voice at kids. It's ridiculous" Brian rolled his brown eyes. He was an only child, and the youngest cousin of his family so he hadn't really got to treat with kids too often.

"Well, out of all of us You're the one  who sings like the Smurfs, so cut it." Rowan arrived with the purple pinky and carefully put it in her mouth.

"You gonna go back to sleep or you're done?" He asked with the highest note on his register, just to piss Brian off "We should probably get going to my place so I can shower while she's happy."

"Why the hurry?"

"Cause it's only matter of time before she needs something and I'm not letting you do it. Nor have the time to teach you how to change a nappy or make a bottle" he carefully took her from John and walked back to the carseat, placing her inside and slinging the bag on his shoulder.

"And for the record, you are the the one soprano here, Mr.Galileo." Brian said.

Rog pretended not to hear him, already crossing the door.

"Wow."

"Unbelievable."

"No way."

That was the general reaction to the status of Rog’s appartement, now full of empty/ half full bottles of formula instead of booze, parenting books instead of Playboy magazine and Forbes... And the smell of powder instead of Marlboro.

Just Wow.

"Holy damn Rog" Fred said, unable to hide his amazement.

"What?" He placed the carseat on the kitchen table, and stared at his daughter -who had fallen back asleep with the car's movement- while debating on whether picking her up or not.

"You live in a... This..." He didn't have a right expression to describe what his apartment had turned into

"Is this the wrong house?" Bri joked.

"Nope." He settled on taking her out and putting her on his bed while he showered.

"You live in a bloody nursery" Fred finally said.

He chuckled. "Just haven't had time to organize. Tho I've already assumed she's gonna take a shitload of room. But that's okay." he cooed, gently swaying out of reflex even though she was asleep and didn't notice.

"You've never been good at sharing..." Brian started, but Rog wasn't going to have them pointing out what they thought he could or couldn't do. He had enough with Mom.

"What is this? A kindergarten lecture?" He interrupted.

"Apparently." Fred still couldn't believe his eyes.

"Well shut up and check out the crib."

"Where had she been sleeping?" John questioned as they followed.

"With me. Well, if we can call it sleep."

After 4 days on their own, Rog had got to nearly master the art of swaddling, or burrito Rollin as he liked to call it, and while he knew the likelihood of waking her up in the process was high, he knew it was a risk worth taking. Then again it had taken him forever to get her settled and... What was the worst thing that could happen?

"I'm gonna leave her here. Try not to sit on the mattress cause that may disturb her."

"Can we talk?" Fred whispered. He wasn’t used to babies, he didn’t want to break her or something.

"Yes, and you don't have to whisper. Talk normally. But don't fight. And just... Keep an eye on her, you know?" Rog said, before disappearing into the bathroom next room.

The three men nodded, and turned to the unassembled wooden crib leaning by the wall.  It was actually big for a newborn.

"Why didn't you get a smaller one?" Deaky asked, as he examined the item.

"Cause she'll eventually grow out of it and that will mean having to buy another one." Mom had wanted to give them a present, so he asked her for money to buy a nice crib that would hopefully resist the next couple years.

"Clever."

"Hopefully this one will make it through the next two years or so. Until it’s time to move her into a bed."

"Alright. On with it."

Only 5 minutes into it, Brian noticed the kid's arms moving, as if she was having spasms.

"Errr... Should we tell Rog about it?" He asked his flatmates.

Rog also heard it, tho, and stopped the shower in panic. "Tell me what? What's going on? Is she okay?"

"Is it normal for her not to stay still?" Freddie asked

"Like her limbs are all over the place?" Bri added

"Oh, yea. Fuck you goddamn scared me men!"

"Well she was scaring us!"

"It's normal. It's..." He didn't feel like infodumping an encyclopedic speech about that. He didn't wanna be one of those people. He sighed in relief and ran the shower again. "She's okay. Don't worry."

He closed his eyes and enjoyed the warm, refreshing sensation of the water falling over him. And the relaxing sound it made. Damn, it was good to have a moment of peace without having to worry about his kid being left alone, or feeling guilty that she was next room, or worrying about her waking up with him still in the shower.

Fuck yea, he could've fallen asleep in the act. And he would have

Brian May, John Deacon, and Freddie Mercury were pretty intelligent people. Brian was a honour student, John would have also been if he hadn't caught that flu during the last term of High School, and Fred... Maybe he wasn't the most focused and self disciplined student in the room, but he was creative and witty in his own way.

However, 20 minutes after starting with the crib, they still hadn't figured out one single thing.

"The bloody instructions are in Korean!" Fred complained.

"Yea, we've noticed!" Brian replied, through gritted teeth.

"Why the actual fuck did Rog buy this shit?!"

"It was the cheapest one, for sure." John guessed, pawing around in search of the nail that had just fallen.

"Fred, that screw doesn't go there!" Brian said

"Well it didn't fit anywhere else, so I'm just gonna try in every spot until the goddamn thing gets in!" Fred had never been one for patience.

"Goddamn it..." The guitarist shook his head, running his eyes through the manual one more time, in hopes that he'd come up with something. But no.

"It can't be so fucking hard!" Fred grunted in frustration.

"Guys, I think we're losing perspective here.  We should just calm down and~"

John was interrupted when a cry broke the air, just as Rog was almost done soaping his hair.

"I'll get her. You guys figure it out" Fred announced, anxious to get away the bloody crib.

"Ha. You've never been this near a baby before. I'll do it" John said, also standing up.

"You've already held her earlier. It's my turn." Brian spoke, jumping on his feet.

"Precisely because she's already met me...".

"Oh, bullshit! You just wanna leave us here with the fucking crib!"

"Watch your mouth, Fred! There's a kid..."

"Can  any of you just fucking get my daughter?" Rog's voice called from the bathroom.

John was the fastest, and he lifted the squirming infant up with one swift movement. "Hey darling."

She kept crying, and squirming all over the place.

"You got her?" Rog asked.

"Yep. What should I do?"

"Just hold her until I get out. I'm almost done."

"Okay" he manoeuvered the infant back  in the position he had her earlier, so he wouldn't drop her.

"Just careful, don't move her about too much. I almost drop her tonight when I was making a coffee. Poor Prune's got enough frights."

His friends chuckled. Rog will be Rog. Always clumsy.

"Hey, where's the hammer?" Fred asked Brian .

"Why would you want a bloody hammer now?"

"Cause I can't roll the goddamn screw in, so I'm gonna try smashing the little fucker in!"

"You're gonna break it like that!"

"Well you got better idea? Huh? I didn't think so, so give it here!" Fred demanded, snatching the tool from Brian.

Meanwhile, John was busy trying to entertain the babe until her dad  came. Then he noticed some red scratches on her already red face, his expression changing into concern "Rog" he called over the cries and the shouting between Brian and Fred.

"Yes?" He answered, blinking the urge to sleep away.

"Something's wrong..."

"I've told you, it's normal that she moves that much. Just hold on to her..."

"No, Rog, These cuts..."

"What cuts?!" That was all Rog needed to snap out the drowsiness. The shower stopped, and he jumped out the shower.

Fred almost drops the hammer at T's foot at the sight of soaking wet naked Rog.

He. Was. Hot.

A fucking deity.

Michelangelo's David.

But of course Rog was oblivious to it. Not to the fact that he was hot, that he knew, and had taken advantage of it. Take Piper for evidence.

But what he or the other two band members ignored was that for Fred, Rog was... Everything. And he'd be lying if he didn't say he had actually drawn the Michelangelo's David with Rog's gorgeous face instead.

He'd be lying if he said the sight of his beloved with a baby hadn't made his heart melt and twist at once, and set a storm of butterflies fluttering on his whole body.

He'd be lying if he denied he loved him.

He'd be lying if he denied it, yea. But he'd lie straight away, nonetheless. He wasn't ready. He doubted he'd ever be.

Meanwhile, a few feet away, the concerned dad leaned over to take a look at his baby's face. It did have scratches. Bleeding scratches. But how?

"Oh God." He said "But I... They weren't there 20 minutes ago, were they?"

"No, not at the studio. She was fine." John answered, also examining the wounds. "What do we do?"

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🎼🎼🎼🎼🎸🎸🎸🎤🎤🎤

Well, as always, a big Hooolaaa a mi hermana del otro lado del charco (across the pond) @definitely-darcy, who’s always giving me little prompts to keep this shit up. Finally used the crib one, but it’s a bit dull maybe? Anyway, love  ya dude!

[unimpressedperson]

“10 Movies to Describe Me” tag

Hey, as I ever said, I LOVE cinema and going to the movies, watching documentaries, enjoying life by studying every nuance present on the 7th art.

Along life we have contact with a bunch of movies and references that affect our personalities, view of world, and even how we act towards some situations. Cinema is a powerful way of art, possibly influencing.

Everyone has a list of movies which influenced our personal growth. This list is all about it: 10 Movies you can use to describe me.

1 - Spirited Away

Well, I think Spirited Away was my first contact with cinematography eastern culture and made me go further in searching for more. I was 5 or 6 when I watched and fell in love with it.

Nowadays I know how to respect different cultures, have a deep interest in stories and mythologies from other countries. Thank you Studios Ghibli!

Influenced personality: Love for mythology and cultures.

2 - The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert

I LOVE drag queens and everything related to that subculture. I remember watching that movie as a kid, after midnight and hiding from my parents, which advised me to sleep because I had school the next morning.

Everything seemed so colourful and amazing, almost magical. A explosion of music and dresses, high heels, makeup, big wigs and dancing.

While growing up it influenced my choices on sports, acceptance, music, and love for drag culture.

RuPaul's Drag Race is part of my love for drag queens, but it wasn't the first reference. Btw, support your local queens and art.

Influenced personality: Dancing skills, LGBT acceptance (when it comes to myself, I have nothing to do with someone else's sexuality), love for drag culture and pop music.

3 - Blackfish

Oh ma'am, now we got to a very rough part of my personality: my HATE and INDIGNATION over zoos and aquariums.

I don't like zoos, not at all. Watching animals caged in small spaces and sad, oh boy, it makes me want to invade the whole place with a hammer and set them free.

Before watching Blackfish I didn't quite realize how bad everything was for fishes in Aquariums as well. Now, I want to start petitions against Sea World and Aquário de São Paulo.

I love animals, WAY MORE than I enjoy being around humans, so knowing how suffering is their life inside small places makes me want to cage humans and let them walk freely.

Influenced personality: Love for sea animals and thirsty for their justice.

4 - Inglorious Basterds

(This scene is one of my favourites lol)

#ILOVEHISTORYANDTARANTINO

Well, Inglorious Basterds is a very historically inaccurate movie, but I love it with all my stone cold heart. There are so many catchphrases and iconic moments.

I just love that movie. Nothing really special or meaningful.

Influenced personality: The need for kill Nazis lol

5 - The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I was a very angst teenage and depressed as well, not counting anxiety on the mix. When I was 13 The Perks of Being a Wallflower aired on cinemas, and suddenly all my concerns about acting weird and not normal, compared to other girls around and whose studied with me, kind of seemed so pointless, mainly because Patrick, Charlie and Sam seemed to have so much fun, even acting quirckly and being classified as misfits.

My story has nothing to do with neither of characters, but I related a lot to them. So I think a big part of me came and flourished after watching The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

Also, it taught me the importance of speaking how you feel, therapy and trusting people enough to tell them when something wrong is going on.

The book is also one of my favourites, so I’m not impartial when it comes to The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Influenced personality: Not afraid of being myself, fight for human basic right of having mental health treatment guaranted and embracing my quirk personality.

6 - Erin Brockovich

Everyone who knows me well enough, is VERY aware of how independent and self-suficient I am. I hate depending on people for completing tasks or doing stuff, so most of the time I try to learn do things all by myself. It’s something natural inside of me, partly because I don’t get lonely, so the idea of depending on someone to anything makes me cringy.

Erin Brockovich is a movie I watched when I was 12 and the way Erin acted towards everyone, giving priority to her life and kids, not caring about everyone else’s opinion, it made me root to be independent like her (except for the kids and struggle to find a job). Erin exhales big dick energy, also the ending made me aplaud the movie (even tho I was alone at home watching it).

Influenced personality: I learnt how to classify my priorities, also improved my confidence on how I act, since Erin isn’t afraid of achieving things and proving her point, even if everyone else is against and won’t believe her.

7 - Lilo & Stitch

I think every single living human alive had at least one movie, you know this one movie, which you obsessed during your childhood. It doesn’t matter the genre, you watched it nonstop and pissed off your whole house with how repetitive movie marathons seemed to get with you, since everytime you picked whatever you were about to watch, your choice was quite predictable.

The movie I obsessed during my childhood was Lilo & Stitch (also Scooby Doo, where do you think I learned how to copy someone’s fingerprint by using pore cleanser and powder?).

As I mentioned a few items ago, I was a misfit and it played a big part on my life, being excluded from parties, playdates and games during P.E was common. It bothered me, but everything changed when we adopted my first dog, a dachshund called Xuxinha. We were Lilo & Stitch, whenever people treated me badly at school, I knew that she would be waiting for me at home.

Xuxinha passed away in 16th February 2017, and I still miss her.

  Influenced personality: It helped understand that people are douchebags, but as long as I have my dog/sister at home to hold and distract me, then nothing else matters. I learned the importance of surounding yourself with people who cares about your well-being, not caring specie, ethnicity, etc.

8 - Wonder

I don’t think this item requires a lot of text to describe why I felt influenced by it. Watch the movie and let’s sob together.

Influenced personality: Learned why appearance means nothing, and everyone goes through some struggle, so always be there for people who cares about you as much as you do about them. Also, always stand up against bullying, it may look like a joke now, but it can be the trigger for fatalities.

9 - Spotlight

I study Social Communication: Journalism, that’s what I’ve been wishing to do and want to be in the future. Even tho I decided what I wanted as my career YEARS before the release of Spotlight, it helped me define which kind of journalism I wanted to follow: Investigative.

It feels like I just made 4 out of 2+2, considering the fact that I love detective stories and would love to be a detective myself, but watching and acknowledging that all the investigation and  accusations were based on real facts, oh Ma’am, I can’t even describe the thrill consuming my mind only by imagining what it feels like to be involved journalistically in an investigation.

Influenced personality: My PASSION for investigative journalism.

10 - The Imitation Game

Last but not least: The Imitation Game.

Well, I constantly get annoyed on how biased our society is, for real, and whenever it happens I write poems and texts and protest, and piss off a bunch of people by only talking about a situation of inequality. When I first watched The Imitation Game the whole Alan Turing being castrated and killing himself because of homophobia and a VERY, I repeat, VERY narrow-minded society, it PISSED OFF THE HELL OUT OF ME, and I used this rage during a full semester of college paper works.

I named a group after Alan Turing and our semester project was basically about people being biased and killing genius because they cannot look further from their own bellybottoms. I won a “Oscar de Jornalismo”, which is the award that happens every six month in my college, prizing the best works from the semester.

It still makes me so angry to imagine what Alan Turing could had done if he lived for at least 20 more years.

Influenced personality: Well, it made me channel my rage about a situation and helped me to understand why we should discuss homophobia, racism, wars, etc, even harder now. Watching the world following the path for making the same mistakes all over again is frightening, and only history can help us.

- x-

It has potential to be a tag, so I’ll tag some people I want to know what movies inspired them. You don’t have to make a whole long ass text about your choices, just sharing is enough :)

@ohmydearmoonchild @okayycalum @emerson-moonchild @btsqualityy @theburntwaffle

[babeejeon]

tag tag tag

 @livlovesbangtan and @gukieyoongles tagged me, thanxx 🤭🤭🤭 

I wrote too much stuff and also stupid stuff, feel free to pass it if it bores you. But it really relieved me to get these of my chest.

little rules our game has is;

*tag the person who tagged you

*answer the questions

*tag 10 people

i am starting ahahaha!

1. how tall are you?

I am 163 cm i guess, but I haven’t have measured since 8th grade and actually I feel like I haven’t grow since then. And my lil sis is even taller than my ideal height, ugh cryyy... Is there any one magic to spare me a few centimeters 🙏🙏

2. what colour and style is your hair?

My real hair colour is dark brown but i colored my hair with some temporary hair dye at the end of 2017 and around february 2018, 2 times. I dye it to a colour ‘Toffee Caramel’ and since my hair has really dark colour i didn’t expect it to change my hair colour too much but i think it did. Actually the dye was popular and also under nice brand. So i trusted and it was saying only for 28 wash or something <sorry i couldn’t translate 🤭🤭🤭> But i still have that dye at the ends of my hair but it looks horrible but my hair is so damaged. I cut it short, it doesn’t get longer and i don’t know what to do. I want to dye my hair in darker colour, similar to my real hair color and have my own colour back but my sister doensn’t let me do. HELP!!!

3. what colour are your eyes?

Dark brown 🤭🤭🤭 listen this song  😉 this song for all the jungoo lovers..

PS: I might write somethings about this song 🤭🤭🤭

4.  do you wear glasses?

Thankfully no. Because glasses never look good on me, even sunglasses. Maybe because i have sharp and thick eye brows but i love my eye brows  🤭 🤭🤭 But everyone in my family wears glasses due to eye problems so i might wear in the future.

5.  Do you wear braces?

I never wear braces and actually i am scared of dentists so i am glad. 

6.  what’s your fashion sense?

Actually it is very complicated. I might like anything. But i am not so into popular fashion sense, i sometimes find it weird or can’t like some fashion trends no matter what. 

I like to wear anything i found stylish and what wanted to wear and if feel that suited me. Actually if i feel confident with my clothes, hair, make up and over all look, my day starts so nice but if not, nothing helps too much. But lately i am in a depressive mood, especially at college and i feel super fat and ugly and i had other problems. But i am in a spring break and i hope to start motivated to new semester.

I love high waisted jeans and short tshirts. I dont like thick sweaters because i feel suffocated idk why. I love wearing short sleeves any time. I love sneakers. I love cute clothes. 

7.  full name?

I dont want to expose my real name here, I mean friends i have here know it but this post can be seen by everyone and i dont want anyone from my real life to find me so i am passing this question, sorry 🤗🤗🤗

8.  when were you born? 

I was born in 1999 and @gukieyoongles i definetely agree to you about being 90′s child ahaha if my older sister read this she would laugh at this 90′s child part but yes i am 😒😒😒

9.  where are you from and where do you live now?

I will pass this question too, sorry 🤗🤗🤗

10.  what school do you go to?

I am in college or university, I don’t know the difference between them, please enlighten me. We use university in my language but to be exact i am undergraduate student.

11.  what kind of student are you?

I used to be number one student because my mother was primary school teacher, my father is professor at university and my sister studied in best schools. So i had the effect and actually i was so focused and used to this thing. But in last semester of 10th grade my life turned upside down in the aspect of success. I lose it so fast and it added up my depression, I felt like only speciality i had was being a succesful student and now i am nothing. But i actually lost my motivation that times so i didnt put some effort. But due to my 10 years of hard work, I get the chance to get into nice university.

I am still lazy and unsuccessful but lately trying to get better so wish me luck 🙏🙏🙏

12.  do you like school?

I dont like it but that must be something with my self. Because after 2 semesters i still couldn’t adapt it totally. I hate being alone at school but also i am not such a social butterfly. So i feel confused. I have friends but i feel awkward sometimes. I don’t know adult life is so hard.

And also i sometimes feel like i hate my major but sometimes i love. So when the lessons are hard i cry and feeling like i dont belong here. So my advise is studying your dream job. but i dont have one, so yeah 😫😫😫

13.  favorite subject? 

Actually none, engineering majors suck. I love English lessons because i only feel confident in them and understand things easily and sometimes enjoy. But it is also about academic sides of English, so not very fun.

14.  favourite tv shows?

I don’t watch tv, also i don’t watch tv shows online too. I sometime start series on Netflix or some korean dramas but lose my interest soon. I AM BORED BORING 🤐🤐🤐

15.  favourite movie?

I don’t have an exact one but I love Harry Potter films and Midnight in Paris as the ones i remember. I recently watched To All The Boys i Loved Before, Like for Likes(korean film), Shazam and enjoyed all there of them.  But i don’t have a favourite one because i don’t watch a lot.

16.  favourite books?

I am not a good reader of real life books because i might lost my consciousnes with fanfiction and fangirl stuff. But now i really want to read somethings, but have no time, but will try my best.  This year i finally read Pride and Prejudice and love it too much. *searches for her Darcy hopelessly* 🤭🤭🤭 I also read a book related to Pride and Prejudice, it’s name is Austenland and it slapped me in the face about reality. If someone read it, dm me, i really need someone to talk about it without giving spoilers.

Also i read last year Stranger by Albert Camus. I don’t think i understand it exactly but it gave me this feeling in my chest. I think a lot of people probably read it, I would also love to talk about this book if you dm me.

I read all Harry Potter books except the last one idk why. But i read them in 8th grade. I know I was pretty late to read them but I was scared of Harry Potter 🤭🤭🤭 But now I reminisce that year as the best year of my life despite the fact that i was preparing for high school enterance exams. So Harry Potter holds a lot of emotions and memories for me.

17.  favourite pastime?

Wasting my time! Spending all my time on social media. Sleeping too much. Listening music with my earphones and stare outside dreamily. Doing some penpal and bulletjournaling projects(i cant do lately tho)

But in everyday life my favourite past time is listening songs we like while my sister is driving us to school. We also talk, gossip, laugh, sing along. We do it everyday while commuting and i enjoy it too much. Our school is pretty far and i dont really enjoy car rides but sometimes i enjoy this time too much that i want it to last longer.

18.  do you have any regrets?

Too many. But i can’t change them. So best thing is focusing to future but I am a person who lives thinking past and lost chances or mistakes so it ruins me. But actually to live it free, forgetting and trying to not to do them again is the best.

19. dream job?

I dont really know, but something that can make me happy. I want to go to work eagerly, enjoy my work and be proud of with my life. Something that can satisfy me and make me improve myself.

I had dreamed to be singer similar to @livlovesbangtan . But I might hate singing if I have the responsibility so no. I would love to sing and annoy people while showering like Namjoon. 🤭🤭🤭

20. would you ever like to be married?

Yes, i would love to. But actually for a very long time marriage scared me. Because of the people around me and our culture. My dad and mom had rational marriage so it also made me lose my faith. Also i see like everyone marry and streotypical life starts. People work, have childs and WHAT!!!

I am not necesserily living for marrying. I would never, if I can’t find the love of my life or i can’t trust someone. But i am such a hopeless romantic, I want to experience pure love for someone and get the same love back. It doesn’t sound so realistic so I might find it ever. But still i wish.

I want to have someone I can trust but actually it never happens in real life. Or i can’t like someone in that way, i always find some flaws. So i really need to fall in love miserably to not to see anything and love someone too much, but i don’t know if i can.

I want my s/o to propose me in a night picnic, alone and out of sudden. I would love him to carry the ring in his necklace and didn’t plan to propose exactly. Like he wants to but doesn’t know when, so he carries it with him. And that night with outbursting love, he would propose me and i accept and we have surprise weddding that night by our selves. UwU *dead*

21.  would you like to have kids?

I am not sure. First of all, I would marry to spend all my time with my s/o not for having childs. <saying this just because a lot of people around me does like that> 

I love kids but I am not sure. Like they are so cute as a baby and child but what if i can’t stand while they are in puberty?! 🤭🤭🤭

Also i sometimes feel like ‘why did i born? i didn’t want this? i don’t want to live!’ . Also feel like what if my child feels the same? Also think it is selfish to bring someone to life because we want to but life is just for suffering. Idk, i am pretty pessimist sometimes. And i dont know 😭😭😭

but i love babies, especially when they hold my forefinger with their whole fist. *cryyyyyy*

22.  how many?

Idk, bro.

23.  do you like shopping?

Yes 😉🤗🤭 i love to buy stupid things that i dont need or use.

24.  what countries have you visited?

I only visited UK and actually i loved it 😍😍😍. Also spent one day in Georgia, see around in a one day trip. But i would like to see more. 

25.  scariest nightmare you have ever had?

Let’s not talk about this. I see stupid, weird, annoying, scary dreams too much and i hate it.

26.  any enemies?

I used to have too many, but actually i realised it was one sided hate. They annoyed me but didn’t give any fuck. I hated but it only effected me, they continued carelessly so i decided to not to have one. I feel annoyed and dislike and hate people but control it to not to effect on my life. Also i try to not to have any fights with anyone. If i really don’t like them i ignore them etc.

27. any significant other?

Not yet but waiting for him to find me!

But i can’t pass this without mentioning jeon the dork jungkook. I love him 😍😭🤭

28. do you get along with your family?

I love them and i am very attached to them but also fight with them time to time.

29.  do you believe in miracles?

I believe but don’t believe i will have one.

30. how are you?

I dont know. Not too bad, not too good, enjoying but sometimes bored but sometimes tired of this life but sometimes enjoying too much???

I warned at the start so i don’t know if someone is reading still. but thanks for reading and feel free to talk to me about this stuff.

I tag everyone who wants, please tag me so i can read your answers. as the 10 people thing;

@teanites @artjjk @nochuuuenthusiast @yoongspeach @iamsadsstuff @mintseesaw @jeons-wasabi @arthoejaebum @yoongithes @kayakookie

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30 Fun things to do in San Antonio

1. It Ain’t Texas while not A Rodeo Rodeo - Things to try to to In urban center

If you aren’t in city for the urban center Stock Show and Rodeo in February—one of the most important rodeos within the country—that doesn’t mean you have got to miss out on seeing this urban center tradition. The Tejas Rodeo holds events from March through Nov. Giddyup!

2. trying to find one thing Spookier? Take A Ghost Tour!

In a town therefore wealthy with history, there ar inevitably lots of urban center ghost stories, too—discover them 1st hand with butchery town Ghost Tours or the Sisters Grimm Ghost Tour. Check them out… goodbye as you don’t scare easily!

3. Become a part of The “CSI” Team At The Witte depository

maybe it’s additional edu-tainment than academic, however the Witte Museum’s CSI: The Experience—created in cooperation with the CBS show—will be a success with fans of the series. And if “CSI” simply isn’t your issue, the Witte features a rotating choice of exhibits regarding science and history, particularly Texas history.

4. Get In Some Historic Drinking Why can’t all history have happened during a bar? The Menger edifice Bar is, famously, wherever President Teddy Roosevelt recruited his Rough Riders whereas the Buckhorn Saloon boasts of being the oldest saloon in Texas—though the Menger would argue it’s the oldest unceasingly operated saloon. Visit the Menger for a cultured cocktail and therefore the Buckhorn—which is, as delineate, stuffed with a good assortment of horns, looking trophies, and alternative exhibits—for kitsch.

5. Visit The Exotic life At The urban center installation If you’re trying to find one thing additional exotic than the ducks and squirrels that inhabit the remainder of Brackenridge Park, venture into the urban center installation. Nearly a hundred years previous, the installation options over three,500 animals together with lions, tigers, and bears—oh my!

6. investigate associate degree E-Book At The Country’s 1st All-Digital Library Bexar County’s BiblioTech may be a library while not one physical book, providing solely digital books and audiobooks. however the power itself is price a visit, with a large number of e-readers, tablets, laptops, and desktop computers on the market to use throughout your visit.

7. Get Some searching In At La Villita And mart There ar countless places to buy in urban center, however none quite just like the La Villita Historic Arts Village—in the oldest a part of the city—or the outside, Mexican-style marketplace of mart. once you’ve exhausted your case searching, each have events throughout the year—not to say nice people-watching. You won’t notice something like them outside San Antonio!

8. Go Spelunking In one in every of San Antonio’s several Caves If you’re bored with all of the outside and recent air, and ar desire one thing a touch additional brave, head underground to explore one in every of the area’s several caverns. Natural Bridge Caverns, Cascade Caverns, and Cave while not a reputation all supply some spectacular sights.

9. For Above-Ground Excitement, Ride The Coasters At fete Texas If you’re trying to travel air sure, you can’t do higher than Six Flags fete Texas that options many high-octane roller coasters just like the Iron Rattler. however if you don’t have a style for thrill rides, there ar lots of milder rides and family-friendly diversion on supply, too.

10. Take Special wants Friends and Family to go to Morgan’s Wonderland Morgan’s Wonderland may be a completely different quite common, designed and designed to be utterly accessible to youngsters and adults with psychological feature or physical challenges whereas being a fun expertise for all guests.

11. See urban center From higher than At The Tower Of solid ground

Sure, metropolis likes to brag regarding its house Needle, however at 750 feet, San Antonio’s Tower of solid ground is taller. It’s the tallest building in urban center—and one in every of the tallest in Texas—and it provides you a stellar read of San Antonio and therefore the close Texas hill country.

12. Play holidaymaker At The watercourse Walk (Even If You’re A Local)

Yes, the watercourse Walk may be a holidaymaker destination, however it’s a holidaymaker destination for a reason—it’s an attractive place to spend associate degree hour, a day, or an entire day. absorb the sights, grab a bite to eat, and simply get pleasure from the city district.

13. See the most important assortment Of Asian Art within the South You wouldn’t extremely suppose to go to urban center to examine Asian art, however the urban center depository of Art on the north finish of the watercourse Walk has an intensive collection—as well as works from solid ground, Europe, Egypt, Greece, and Rome. The crazy juxtaposition of east and (south)west is well-worth seeing.

14. See trendy Art In Spanish Colonial vogue The first trendy art depository within the state of Texas, the McNay Art depository is found within the former home of Marion Koogler McNay, a Spanish Colonial Revival mansion located on twenty three acres of improved grounds. even though trendy art isn’t your jam, the grounds ar an excellent place to wander and explore.

15. Skip The Museums And notice Some Street Art Instead For all the museums we’ve mentioned, you’ll notice art in urban center while not ever setting foot in one. We’re notably keen on F.I.S.H. by Donald Lipski, that options fish floating over the watercourse Walk below the I-35 flyover close to metropolis Street. If you retain your eyes open, you’ll conjointly notice murals everywhere the town.

16. Cheer On the house Team At A Spurs Game If you’re in urban center you’re responsible to root for the house team—and four-time NBA Championship winners, the Spurs, can provide you with masses to cheer for!

17. Brush informed Your Texas History At The butchery

nothing says Texas—or San Antonio—more than the historic butchery. And tho’ we’ve all detected the story, it’s price taking the time to go to. over simply the long-lasting facade, the butchery may be a four.2 acre complicated of gardens and exhibits—and ideal for a stroll before or once a ride down the watercourse Walk.

18. And investigate San Antonio’s alternative Historic Missions, Too Though the butchery continuously gets advert, urban center is home to over simply the one historic mission. Missions Conception, San Jose, San Juan, and Espada form up the urban center Missions park situated on the urban center watercourse.

19. wish to examine It All? Bike The Mission path From The butchery A hike and bike path runs from the butchery all the approach right down to the south Mission Espada. Rent a “B-cycle” from urban center B-Cycles and revel in the ride!

20. See The Nation’s Oldest Cathedral Built in 1750, the Cathedral of San Fernando in downtown urban center is that the oldest cathedral within the United States—and remains the middle of Catholic life within the town.

21. absorb Military History At Fort politico San Antonio features a massive military presence—enough to nickname the city “Military town USA.” Still a full of life military base, Fort politico is home to many museums and a grasslike, animal-filled quadrangle ideal for defrayment a day feeding the (rather demanding) birds.

22. Visit A Historic Homestead (Or 2 Or Three) Architecture lovers are in heaven. urban center is packed with historic homes, from the eighteenth century Spanish Governor’s Palace to the Steves Homestead and Villa Finale within the King William District.

23. See geographical region Fall colours while not confronting The weather condition

Texas might not be glorious for the dynamic  seasons, however that’s solely as a result of not everyone’s visited the Lost Maples State Natural space west of urban center. There, you’ll notice over two,000 acres of Bigtooth Maples and Texas Red Oaks that provides a sensible show each fall.

24. get pleasure from The Country while not exploit city The Lost Maples ar a touch of a drive, however Brackenridge Park offers 343 acres of out of doors diversion right within the heart of city. You’ll notice birds to feed, methods for walking or biking, playgrounds for the children, a links, and even a miniature railroad.

25. And Take Your Dog on Phil Hardberger Park - Things to try to to in urban center

Dogs ar allowed on-leash in Brackenridge Park, however at the 2 dog parks within Phil Hardberger Park , your hirsute friend will burst off the leash to run and play with alternative dogs.

26. notice Your Zen At the japanese garden For a touch additional Asian culture within the heart of urban center, swing by the japanese garden in Brackenridge Park wherever you’ll watch the swimming koi, relax by the water, or simply stroll the garden.

27. See Some ocean Life At SeaWorld SeaWorld - Things to try to to in urban center

You don’t have to be compelled to trek the 250 miles to town to examine marine life, as a result of the world’s largest marine park is correct in urban center with SeaWorld. make certain to catch up with Shamu and friends at the One Ocean show and take a swim with the stingrays at Aquatica!

28. Take A Spin At woman Bird Johnson Skate Park OK, therefore the town of urban center solely calls it woman Bird Johnson Park, however there’s a sizable—and free—skate park on the property. what percentage alternative 1st girls have their own skate parks? we tend to can’t consider any.

29. Entertain And Educate At The urban center Children’s depository San Antonio Children’s depository - Things to try to to in urban center Source: urban center Children’s depository

This kid-friendly—and, as a result, parent-friendly—museum focuses on interactive exhibits and learning through play. With 3 floors of show house, the urban center Children’s depository is bound to be a success with the miscroscopic ones.

30. Catch A Show At The butchery Drafthouse Or The Majestic Theatre The butchery Drafthouse Or The Majestic Theatre - Things to try to to in urban center

You can’t return through urban center while not catching a show. For recent run movies, strive the Texas original butchery Drafthouse Cinema, that serves up movies, food, and drinks tired identical place. For theater and alternative events, the historic Majestic Theatre is wherever you must go.