#even tho i sleep fine
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tis i
#ain’t no one gonna care bout this#cept maybe the mutuals#digital art#illustration#self portrait#this took a hot second so now y’all get too look at it too#suffer#*crab walks away like dr. zoidberg*#the eyebags are on bran by the way#a staple of my face#even tho i sleep fine#tim burton mf
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I just remembered I can do whatever the fuck i want forever and ever. here's a bunch of miscellaneous drawings or whatever.
these two are just my general hc that when Ingo gets eeby deebied, Emmet takes over the singles line as well on alternating days and wears one of Ingos bajillion coats on single line days.
these three are from the other night of talking with my boytoy. we were talking about how Ingo and Emmet can probably perfectly(to untrained ears) imitate train horns and whistles. then we were talking about Ingo and his Big Feelings at a wedding and how he'd be sobbing in the corner the whole time. I like gogo a lot and his sobbing train noises
boytoy ate raw spaghetti. was bemmet type behavior. plus the starer.
the last two are because I think for the years Ingo is gone Emmet has been stretching himself thin running the station trying to juggle what both he and his brother would be doing and it leaves him EXGHAUSTED. When Ingo comes back and gets into the groove of things and he's able to even slightly relax, it hits him like a truck and he finds himself genuinely incapable of doing the tasks he needs to do. Gear Station is surprisingly more hectic for the first handful of weeks Ingo is back because Emmet isn't doing his duties. neat to me.
full doodle page btw.
#if you saw this in the sbms server. no you didn't. act surprised.#spenx lou art#lou is an artist#scratches my head. uhmmm. what else can I say#! the other notes about their train mimicry. Emmet can technically do them more correctly than Ingo. though nobody notices bc they r autisi#Ingo can do a perfect chugga chugga though. He also sounds exactly like a train when he's asleep. even better than emmet. only sleeping tho#emmet's breathing when he's asleep also sounds like chugga chugging. they are a train when asleep#they also have their own train calls. It's eachother names. Emmet's name has a harsher stop at the end and Ingo's has a hitch in it#sometimes if they find other people in the tunnels at night they terrorize people by making “ghost trains” where they just make train noise#they also did this when they were younger before they started working there. leading to rumors of it being haunted#I don't even like Ingo and Emmet I don't even care. can someone run them over#submas#subway boss ingo#subway boss emmet#subway bosses#subway master emmet#subway master ingo#ingo and emmet#subway master kudari#subway master nobori#whatever. who even care. tags are fine#man. I should really try finishing drawings sometime actually. I don't think I've finished something since like. last year. o1 wild#also hiii hi boytoy I know you'll see this. hiiiii pookiepie
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hi.
#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone#but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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he's always been good with lightning magic
#ariquar#my art#had the urge to draw thalmor era ari#I've been using artfight to get back into the swing of things before i finish some important things#it's weird. i feel like i improved in some ways during my depression stint#even though i wasn't able to bring myself to draw#maybe it's just the self reflection? who knows.#I'll be posting my artfight stuff at some point at the end of the month#going to try to do maybe another couple experimental things there before I'm back to doing like. actual work#this one tho i got lazy on but it's fine bc it's personal art#anyway! off to sleep i go
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the never stop blowing up vhs is where cute twinks go to get harmed
#not art#nsbu spoilers#kirk blade.... johnny manhattan..... maybe tenuously cosmo chase#also genuinely I Love that vic ethanol is showing himself to be bit of a dick#and kingskin conversely First Actual Communication With The Player is like. idk I just work here#(I am vibrating in my seat abt liv bloodlust. shes experiencing a bit of emotional consequence. hope she powers thru it and#becomes even worse)#I also love that g13 and jack manhattan are both like. gone#I know in adventuring party they're charting it to shape up as like. usha also slowly losing herself to the work like g13 did#and them becoming one entity entirely in the sense that their selves stop mattering in the face of their hacker capacity#(also called the Forum Moderator Dilemma)#but I also like to think that g13 handed it back to usha cleanly in the second episode with that one interaction#and is now fully unplugged from everything. left the movie. man is Sleeping#we all agree that paula ate jack manhattan tho I think it's fine to assume that#and! the way russell has been like. fully going whole hog full tilt into helping other people and moving the plot along#while Suggesting That Doing Self Reflection And Learning Lessons From This World Might Help to Other People#like I love that. 1/lieutenant syndrome but also 2/extremely transfem coded#like past the ''ohh I have realisationd I'm coming to'' stage. far past. man is bored with thinking abt genders#not new realisation to him! had that thought two decades ago. not motivated enough by anything to change anything#I think I just love the scenario of like magical mystical journey in a fantasy world clearly designed to make you contemplate ur gender#and ur like oh no what? we did that years ago. whats up#deeply interested tho. open up russell we wanna see whats up with u#dang is perfect no note 10/10 more important than anything else he is genre aware and savvy and that truly is all he needs here#the ''let's make it fun'' scene he does with liv is SO good I love him. Im so scared the vhs will snatch him away. hes too genre perfect
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Yknow that vine where the guy is like “let me innnn. LET ME INNNNN!!!” that is me rn
Just replace “let me in” with “I need to scream”
#but the thing is there’s not really anything wrong#It is just#that time of le month#And it doesn’t usually hit me this hard emotionally or physically but I am SO ANGRY right now#At nothing#Which is very annoying#I also have a headache which is not willing to leave#And I want to sleep (even tho I slept fine last night?) but also need to do math bc I have tutoring tonight :/#I also cannot stop snacking which cannot be healthy#evie rambles#Evie rants#Ok this is literally just a substitute for screaming so please don’t feel the need to respond in any way
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possibly the funniest outcome of this drama-filled amity-thinks-luz-killed-hunter alternate princess AU timeline is all three of them being fine and together and safe, and hunter being like BLIGHT. you tried to MURDER LUZ????
amity: I THOUGHT SHE'D KILLED YOU!
hunter: .....I DON'T APPRECIATE THE CONFLICTING FEELINGS I'M HAVING RIGHT NOW,
#shitty idiot repression gang#toh#princess luz au#hunter like ok look. weirdly in five minutes i'm gonna start crying about you being willing to go That apeshit on my behalf#in the meantime tho. don't kill luz.#'i thought she killed you in cold blood for disappointing her and you didnt even fight back'#'well. if she had done that then it would be fine. i'd let her. she can do whatever to me. Don't Kill Luz'#'....LUUUUUUZ. LUZ!!! LUZ COME OVER HERE. YOUR BOY IS SO FUCKING CRAZY'#much to consider. mainly: theyre stupid.#now i gotta go to sleep i think.#thanks for indulging me in being silly tonight#princess luz au alt timeline
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ouuuughhh my birthday is in 3 days yaaaaaayayyynghhhh why was I cursed with having birthday depression school anxiety and seasonal depression (I get it in summer for some reason) all in the same month……………
#im fine………..soooo fine#srsly tho I am for the most part doing ok lol#I made this image earlier when I was particularly stressed out lmao#but your ol pal hana bobo finch will push through this dreaded month#if I can just turn my brain off most of the time it’ll be smooth sailing#vent post#not a pikmin post#< technically it is but I use that tag in personal posts so ppl can block them#the passage of time scares me ahahah#things are going too fast I can’t keep up. I’m gonna have RESPONSIBILITIES soon enough#oughhh why csnt I just enjoy my teenage years without worrying about the future#wtf am I even supposed to do for the next like. 60 70ish years.#ughhhh idk I’ll feel better after some sleep#oof I realize how much I’ve been yapping whoops this is social media not a journal
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first week back at school and ahhhhhh everything is a little overwhelming currently
- my living space is full of boxes i have simply not had the energy to unpack at all.... hopefully this weekend (but i have also been invited to a Social Event so WE SHALL SEE)
- this school year is going to have So Much Important Stuff happening inbetween the many weeks of practice placement
- such as The Academic Text
- AND i need to finish the big project i was supposed to have finished ages ago
- our teacher this year speaks swedish with a very thick french accent and i speak norwegian with a dialect, we really struggle to understand one another but maybe hopefully that will change over time.... please...........
- i'm stressed about Stupid Bureaucracy Stuff
- and im so so sleepytired :(((
- and it's too humid and warm for comfort :(((((
AT LEAST I HAVE CUTE SOCKS
purchased in a distraught jetlag haze and subsidized by my travel insurance. they're my favourites now
#swedenquest#everything happens so much :(((#but i will be okay...!!!!!!!! no unsolicited advice please#in fact i have been given resources for metacognitive therapy to fight my brain demons and im excited to get more into that#but also how am i supposed to read anything under these circumstances.#tomorrow is self study day and if i wasn't so stressed about Big Project I would've made myself stay at home and rest/unpack#ill simply have to compromise. sleep a little bit longer; couple hours of tinkering at school#take it easy but take it!!!!#also god i was first out to have kitchen cleaning responsibilities this week#which isnt Hard u just need to run the break room dishwasher and take out the trash BUT#the trash bags are the worst quality trash bags i have ever encountered. they tore at my touch.#i tried so hard to remove the trash from the trash cans in a neat and professional manner but it all kept falling apart#and next thing you know there's coffee grounds all over the floor and everyone looks at you with pity#i got some help but it was so stressful and Bad#and there's someone in the 2nd year who keeps emptying the dishwasher even tho it's not their turn and I WOULD DO IT IF U WAITED FIVE MINUT#they did this all the time last year too and it's like. i get that they're stressed out by dishes in the sink or whatever i really do get i#but it's really messing with the system and like... teaching everyone else to not contribute??? because they don't even get to??#AND i lost at minigolf with like 20 more points than everyone at my team#which i genuinely wouldn't mind except i dragged the average score down so bad we could never have won anything#FIRST WEEK OF SCHOOL GOING FINE
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chainsaw man makes you think its a sick action anime where a horny guy made of chainsaws murders a bunch of guys and gets a sorta fucked up found family along the way, but then you watch it and its actually about a 15 year old boy getting groomed and everybody hates everyone else but theyre mostly busy hating themselves and then everyone dies
#csm spoilers#chainsaw man spoilers#they introduce like 8 characters in one episode and then kill them like two episodes later#half the characters in the intro dont show up until yhe very last episode and they all get like one line apiece#not eyepatch finding out denji is a minor and then STILL TRYING TO SLEEP WITH HIM???#'i didnt take advantage of you last night right? oh good i totally wouldve gone to jail'#HELLO????? DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF????????#ik anime is like that but i still just couldnt stomach the show after that#she died like 5 minutes later tho so it was fine#you lied to me i was promised found family#and i got a bunch of fucked up teens who need therapy but instead get groomed#feel bad show of the year#i get its not supposed to make you feel good by the end#and maybe its really effective for that#but i was upset by the wrong things i think#i didnt care when any of the characters died because they had just been introduced like one episode agu#i didnt even remember any of their names#honestly not a good show#ive never liked mappas stuff#theyre allergic to filler and thats their proboem#they dont take the time to make me care about the characters before they kill them#tl;dr i didnt like it#chainsaw man#csm
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Eepy time 💤
#fanart#holotempus#lottyart#holostars#tempus hq#hq mascots#vesties#magmites#cultare#axelotl#ive been so sleepy today#even tho i got 7 hours of sleep#but i was more fine yesterday when i got 3 lol
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being homesick and changing as a person so much the place you grew up in isn't your home anymore is such a core part of ati and upon further inspection i think i was projecting a little
#like yea that is a very common basic thing that happens to a lot if not most adults#but also i think i get homesick a bit too easy#when i moved away from home i moved to the closest big city that's only an hour away and i was already deeply familiar with it#but i was so sad despite knowing i personally could never thrive in my hometown#i wanted to experience the big city but it was so scary and it still is and i miss the comforts of my hometown but it's not just me that#has changed#dont get me wrong i wouldnt move back bc i have hobbies and friends and a job and most likely a career in the city i live in#and this truly is a place i don't think i could ever move away from. unless it is to a neighboring city#it's so hard for me to imagine there are people who move not just across the country but a completely different country and they just. adap#i could never. i was visiting my hometown every week for like the first year i lived here#i eventually want to move to a bigger apartment and ive been looking at places already even tho i need to graduate before doing that#and i'm. getting homesick just thinking about moving to a different part of the city.#i like the area i live in. i like the cornerstore and the distance to the closest grocery stores and parks#i like how my grandma used to live in this area when she was around my age#i'm not good with change and i know it but there are several things about moving that make me miserable#like yeah obviously i will move out from my single bedroom apartment when i can and i'll be so happy and it'll be good for me#but despite having lived here for only a bit more than 4 years i'll miss this apartment. i have so many good memories from here and i'll#never be able to visit it again and have it feel the same#but that's the least sad thing imo. i dread being in a different area more lmao#but it's fine i know i'll adapt as long as i don't have to move to a different city ever again gfsahgak#idk ive had a long day and im feeling a bit melancholic#i'll sleep in tomorrow >:3c#leevi talks
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third plane might've just hit the sapphic towers wtf
#i cant even write the mtzu fic i wanted to write oh#okay i just need to go to sleep and ill be fine its not that serious .#lets just all go to bed and itll be okay tmr ........ goodnight........................#one thing i better not wake up to is an apology tho..... let this blow over do not make it an issue!
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AHAHAHAHAHAAA you thought i was done??? ¡NO, MORE ART!!!
@rainbowchaox @simple-seranade
#soul battler#<- hopefully thats rigjt lol#team rancher#rancher duo#oakskull art#im back fr9m work and back on my brainrot#its also 230 am so i am sleeping now#anyways i thought i was gonna do some design work but i really judt wanted to paint so i just cleaned up the designs i already gave em#featuring a more chibi style and mild color changes#yes tango isnt wearing a shirt. hes a beast he can do what he wants#the fire coild be better but its fine enough. thinking about ice texture tho... i wonder if i could pull it off#anyways hope you gamers enjoy even if its pretttyyy much the same
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something really nice about today was that I really got to take care of people!!! we had a few pts who were clearly very nervous and a gentleman who wasn't able to verbally communicate, but my job was to make them comfortable and make sure they felt okay and take care of them, and I really felt like I did that. and usually I don't get to see that because I don't typically work with patients I can talk to and receive feedback from, so it was really rewarding in a lovely way I don't often experience. surgery is scary and puts people in a very vulnerable position, especially if you've had traumatic medical experiences before, so. it feels good to be a positive caretaking force in the system. as much as I'm able to
#the older gentleman was clearly very grateful for us and I could with a lot of confidence tell even tho he couldn't verbalize it#and he liked that I was holding his hand when he was going to sleep! it's nice to have someone beside you when you have a procedure done#and one of the other pts was cold but a little shy to admit it so I brought more blankets for her#and that felt so good...like as stressful as this job can be I do feel like I'm making a direct impact on people#and change their immediate surroundings to drastically to ones that service them better#MAN. it was really nice#I hope that they're doing okay in that last room. everytbing seemed fine it was just a lot going on#cor.txt
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for some reason remembered the psych days and i really was insane back then and not even in a way what i was admitted for
#i was so deep in my ed my god#one woman was bitching at lunch and she said ''eating these foods? nah they're so bad for your body!'' and it was just#some sad excuse of a porridge and a cookie and i had planned on eating half of everything but after those words#i just layed down my spoon and left#bc i felt i was judged by everyone for eating even those two miserable spoons of the porridge#and after that when i was transferred to another ward? sleeping pretty much all my time away for a couple of weeks i still would#get out in a vacant room to work out jesus christ#and a couple of girls followed me and they told me they wated to lose some weight as well and i was like ''NO YOU'RE FINE''#i still ended up being made into a some sort of a coach for them??? they would ask me ab the nutritional value of some things we were fed#and i would answer😭😭😭 i didn't think of this as a bad thing tho but i should've shut my mouth tbh#and after weeks of counting and restricting??? binging on whatever food i could get from my roommates#god all of this makes me gag i don't want to be this sick again
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