#even tho i hav not done . . . any of the others . . .

[unablethethird]

once again

Same with you skip the weird ones

1: Name Robert [rob]

2: Age 14

3: 3 Fears 1- Friends dying/getting hurt 2-Going back to the last place i lived 3-Not being able to help/be there

4: 3 things I love 1-My frens 2-Laptop 3-headphones

7: My best friend You and yaya [irl]

8: Sexual orientation AroAce [fictoromantic/fictosexual, and kinda orchidromantic]

10: How tall am I 166cm [for now]

11: What do I miss

cant think of anything rn

12: What time were I born 4am

13: Favorite color red, orange, purple, black

15: Favorite quote "Light a man a fire and he'll be warm for the night, light a man *on* fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life"

16: Favorite place Arcade

17: Favorite food Imjaderah [rice+yoghurt+beans]

18: Do I use sarcasm sometimes, not rlly tho

19: What am I listening to right now

20: First thing I notice in new person Not sure, maybe symptoms???? but not on purpose

21: Shoe size No idea

22: Eye color dark brown [almost black]

23: Hair color black

24: Favorite style of clothing 1920s men atire

25: Ever done a prank call? Not that i can remember

27: Meaning behind my URL I mean this is the 3rd acc

28: Favorite movie THE LORAX!!!!

29: Favorite song right now it's

30: Favorite band FamilyJules? LemonDemon? Will wood? Chonny jash?

31: How I feel right now My body's scared but im chilling

32: Someone I love You /p

33: My current relationship status AroAce, platonically married

34: My relationship with my parents lol

35: Favorite holiday Eid al adha, free money

36: Tattoos and piercing i have Ear

37: Tattoos and piercing i want Sleeve tattoo when i transition

38: The reason I joined Tumblr Needed to continue a fic/comic that was on tumblr

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? idk

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? thank you fren /gen

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? my dad? maybe when i was really young

42: When did I last hold hands? My little sister, i didnt want her to get run over when crossing the road

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? As long as i have, if u give me an hour i'll take an hour, if you give me 30 seconds i'll take 30 seconds

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? Nope, i get gender dysphoria from shaving my legs/arms

45: Where am I right now? Bed

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? LOUD

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Mum, not dad

49: Am I excited for anything? Turning 18 and going uni and being a human person with a human life

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? Im an oversharer

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? Im autistic so not in a deppressed way

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? Cant remember

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? H [irl]

55: What is something I disliked about today? My sister stealing money from my mum, i was this close to having smoke outta my ears, she should know better

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? God, im going to beat the shit out of him

57: What do I think about most? Cringe memories i guess?

58: What’s my strangest talent? I can bird whistle

59: Do I have any strange phobias? Touch might be strange?

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind fs

61: What was the last lie I told? "I don't know who they were talking about" [i didn't want to hurt her feelings]

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? voice, video is a nightmare

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yea because either i've seen them or im delusional [im delusional]. aliens are a given, even a bacteria could be one

64: Do I believe in magic? Kinda? idrk, maybe

65: Do I believe in luck? yea

66: What’s the weather like right now? cloudy n cold

67: What was the last book I’ve read? DnD rulebook

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? LVORE IT LOIF LVOE LOVE IT

69: Do I have any nicknames? I get called by my last name a lot

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? not sure

71: Do I spend money or save it? Save

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? Unfortunatly no

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? My sisters deoderant

74: Favorite animal?

FOXES!!!!!!

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? calming myself down

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? I dont think he has one, idk im not religious

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Corny/cringe as hell but Honeypie by JAWNY

78: How can you win my heart? havent thought about it

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

I TOLD YOU MY FOOT WAS KILLING ME

80: What is my favorite word? supercalifragilisticexpialadocious

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr Moots

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? your god is the right one [chaos]

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Not currently, but my dad and some uncles were

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Time manipulation

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? i dont think questions are scary

86: What is my current desktop picture? basic

90: Failed a class? classes

94: Had job? I have one now, dont always get paid though

95: Left the house without my wallet? Dont have a wallet

96: Bullied someone on the internet? no

98: Played on a sports team?

Unless school sport team counts

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no

104: Been overweight? No

105: Been underweight? yea

106: Been to a wedding? ye

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Duh

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? maybe i dont remember

109: Been outside my home country? Technically im from iran, and i live in australia, so, yeah

110: Gotten my heart broken? i guess

111: Been to a professional sports game? no

112: Broken a bone? no

113: Cut myself? yeah Im stopping though

114: Been to prom? we dont have that

115: Been in airplane?

Yeah

116: Fly by helicopter? no

117: What concerts have I been to? none

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? kinda

119: Learned another language? I know arabic and english

120: Wore make up? Forced to when i was younger but not anymore

123: Dyed my hair? Part of it purple, but its gone now

124: Voted in a presidential election? Cant vote, eitherway all of em suck

125: Rode in an ambulance? Yep

126: Had a surgery? not sure, memory bad

127: Met someone famous? Not that i know of

128: Stalked someone on a social network? mutuals tumblrs

129: Peed outside? Yea

130: Been fishing? nope

131: Helped with charity? yep

132: Been rejected by a crush? nope

133: Broken a mirror? Yep

134: What do I want for birthday? Wouldn't ever happen because it's expensive as fuck but a pump it up machine

i usually get a slice of cake tho

[garoujo]

thinking about dying my bleached section back to brown because it’s so damaged at this point even tho i love the way it looks :(((((( i’m sad it took so much work to get it the light blonde i wanted but it’s been six months since i’ve had it and i love it SO MUCH sob but i care more about keeping my hair healthy :/// relate? tell me i’ll look hotter with all black hair sob!!!!! did you feel weird when you dyed yours back ugh i just don’t wanna look boring with all one colored hair again!! like there’s nothing particularly unique about the way i look with all brown hair???

omigosh yes nonnie i totally get what u mean ໒꒰⑅ㅠ·ㅠ⑅꒱১ back when i had my white & black hair my white side was sooo damaged too but even now that i’m all black u can sooo tell it’s been bleached :< it just doesn’t still as well as the other side & still feels so dry even tho i use oils / leave in conditioner etc ! but all brown hair would look so amaze on u i’m so sure of it :3 i’m getting my roots done tomorrow thankfully so i’ll be all fresh but JOIN ME <333 you’re so pretty u could pull off anything !!! tbf i loved my split dye but i just feel like all black hair is totally for me :< idk if it’s cos i hav light eyes but i just feel like it suits me so much more than any other colour <3

[chaosclover1999]

honestly so mad rn bc of the whole "lesbian bears" thing, mainly bc like,,,, when gay men wanted 2 hav our own pride flag that was 4 us and we made it "2 similar" 2 the lesbian pride flag u guys were telling us it was shitty and calling it the toothpaste flag and saying it was phobic but now u think that it's ok 2 take an entire community concept from us a community concept that was made specifically 2 address body image issues within the gay male community bc of how every1 was expected 2 b a twink ect hell i even seen ppl saying that it's misogyny that there isn't already lesbian bears but none of you see the fucking irony, we try to borrow from you so we can have something that people will recognise as us instead of something 4 the whole queer community, so the rainbow flag can be used by every queer person while we still get 2 have a flag 4 the mlm community specifically, but then we get told off, told we're being bigoted against lesbians but then when people try 2 say that lesbians should be able 2 borrow the concept of bears from us then suddenly borrowing from each other is fine, im not even against lesbians having their own version of being a bear and calling is something slightly different and using it to address any body image issues that might be happening within the lesbian community (im not a lesbian so i can't speak to what those might be) from what i can c from an outside perspective tho it seems like a lot of those issues might already b being addressed by the butch lesbian communities? i just worry because a lot of people that i c talking about it r just saying something to the effect of "being a bear shouldn't just b 4 gay men because women get more shit for having body hair than men do" just the whole way in how it's being done just sucks and is completely ignoring the struggles that gay men go through and y we needed the label of bear in the 1st place, pushing aside our struggles to say "women have it worse and therefore lesbians have it worse" i just wish some1 would acknowledge the fuckin hypocrisy elephant in the room, i started typing this when i saw a post on my dash after waking up early at like 5am so idk how coherent this is but ig i just wish we were able 2 hav fukin smth w/out ppl calling us sexist 4 wanting smth 4 ourselves and not making every single aspect of our community open 2 every1, being a gay man isn't queer lite like some of u seem 2 think it is, we hav our own specific struggles and acting like everything that is us is now just an overall queer community thing and not specifically a gay guy thing and we should move over 2 make way 4 every1 who isn't us is 1 of those struggles, 1st it was the rainbow flag, now its the word "gay" increasingly being used 2 just mean queer and now also ppl being shitty abt us having the bear community by saying "u shouldn't hav this bc women hav it worse" it just feels like we don't get 2 hav fucking anything and then when we try 2 hav our own flag just 4 us we're evil ig, idk what u would even call this, erasure? smth like that

[borderline-gays-club]

Reflecting at the park post boxing, pre work.

Was supposed to go on a date today but ofc this man never confirmed with me today so I’m done with him lol.

I really can’t play around with ppl who can’t follow through, can’t communicate properly, and are honestly probably covering some messy shit. Like I really can’t waste my fucking time on ppl who can’t reciprocate wat I give.

The good thing tho, is this time around, I feel indifferent to letting him go. I mean I wasn’t that invested in the first place; today would’ve been our second date ; but also I feel less desperate to find a submissive.

Whereas with the last person it took emotion and thought for me to make the decision to let him go. Now I’m like yah watever, next !!! Lol

I’m finally deeeeply understanding how serious this dynamic is and how it really takes patience to find someone that you are compatible with. Just like any other kind of chosen relationship.

And also I’ve been going to boxing 2-3x a week now and that has DEFINITELY helped me chill out a bit in terms of my sexual fiendish ness LOL. So I’m grateful for that. If I don’t feel like a fuckin animal 24/7 then I don’t feel as desperate and thennn I can make more conscious and self respecting decisions in terms of who I let into my life.

With all that said tho, I still feel this nagging boredom and some type of emptiness. It’s definitely not consuming me (which ..thank fuckin god), but I still recognize it and am trying to understand it.

It’s def lack of sexual relationships, but I also think it’s deeper than that. Bc I don’t just want sex. That won’t b fulfilling for me, if anything it’ll b boring and probably irritating if it’s just watever. I’d rather fuck myself till I die than fuck someone who can’t fuck me right lol.

It’s like…I want the game of it all. The teasing, the play, the flirting. And even in actual sex, I want to play the games. I want to b in control. I need it.

It’s ok tho, I kno I’ll get to a place where I’ll have submissives and play partners. Cus with each step I take, I’m really learning so much. And I feel the growth immensely like literally every month. I look at myself 6 months ago and I’m in a whole different place mentally and physically.

I’m so amazed at my growth and so proud of myself. Shit is always hard but damn do I hav the fuckin WILL to live and thrive dammit!!!

[reverie-starlight]

THANK YOU FOR TAGGING ME AND I'M SO SORRY I DIDN'T SEE IT SOONER!!! this was sm fun <333 under the cut bc I don't know how to shut up :D

started writing: so I think I originally tried to write fanfiction when I was like... 11? it was literally handwritten in a notebook I've now lost and it was a Heroes of Olympus fanfic with an OC? I think? but oh man, I've been an x-reader girl from the very beginning. I started posting on wattpad when I was 12 and it was a book of x-reader fics for this one band I really liked back then... I will NOT be naming names. I did that alongside x-reader fics for PJO/HoO and Peter Parker for about 3 ish years before only sticking to fictional characters bc once I turned 15 I personally felt uncomfy writing real person fics. and I've been writing for haikyuu/anime characters in general since I was 16!

started blogging: I started my blog in 2022 as a little bday gift to myself when I turned 18 (lol silly gift maybe, but I had been going back and forth on whether or not I should- I'm so glad I did). I had been stalking a ton of blogs without an account for a whileee for some characters and I finally decided to move my haikyuu drafts from wattpad over here and see how they'd do. and here we are!

followers: I have about 1.2k right now which is INSANE to me bc I've neverrr had that many people enjoy my writing. even if like. half of you are bots, I'm still so grateful for everyone <333

communication: I LOVEEEE bugging my mutuals!! I do worry that I'm too much sometimes, or that I get a little overexcited abt sharing ideas and then I draw back a bit (and it's why I'm shy abt messaging compared to sending an ask). I wish I got more asks in general abt literally anything just bc I love interactions/making friends (even tho I'm extremely shy offline LOL)

likes: I prefer reblogs/comments if I'm being honest, but likes mean a lot too!!

for some reason my sakusa fics always do really well in the likes department, but it does kind of frustrate me when the like/reblog ratio is insanely disproportionate. I think it's cause I just crave interaction/like knowing people do actually enjoy what I put out and why. I feel like it helps me grow as a writer if I understand what translated well, what people focused on, etc.

I always leave a like and reblog a fic I loved with some thoughts on it/how it made me feel, and so do my mutuals & most other authors. I never ever ever expect that from anyone, and I do so so so appreciate any interaction, but I just prefer the other stuff a little more!

requests: formal requests are closed bc I feel bad not getting to them in a timely manner, and I don't always have the time or inspiration/motivation to do that. however if someone sends in a cute idea just for funsies I might end up writing it!!

writing: hmmm I'm always trying to improve my writing, which is why in my little author's note sections of fics I put out, you'll sometimes see me apologizing for switching up the format/trying something new! honestly my writing rn isn't where I want it to be, it feels a bit lackluster and kind of like it's been getting worse??? but we keep moving. sometimes I'll write a line that I personally think is soooo good and I'm so proud of it, but then I'll hate the rest of the fic bc it feels flat in comparison.

I feel like I do my best writing either really early in the morning or super late at night. maybe bc they're times that I don't need to focus on anything else?

I'm very big on characterization. I'll usually have the character wiki open on the personality section, even for characters I'm not new to writing, bc I want to make sure it feels like them. the only character I haven't done this for is kuroo. but I've been comfortable writing him from the very beginning of my haikyuu obsession. I always try to imagine beforehand what a speific character would say, and I alter the lines a million times before it feels right. the hardest character for me to write rn is kaiser I think, just bc I haven't read the manga lol. mammon is also hard bc I tend to write him a bit more self-indulgently than how he is in canon. I prefer lovey-dovey, comfortable with his emotions and expressing them mammon.

overall I'm really proud of how far I've come with writing!! It is something I'd like to do professionally one day, so fingers crossed that happens!! there are a few fics I'm especially proud of on my blog, and while a couple of them ended up doing waaayyyy better than I thought (cough cough, my "MC returning to the present" fics for obey me), I like to think of these ones as hidden gems :)

one of them is this fic that was like, sooo insanely cathartic for me to write bc I was literally experiencing the request in real time!! it's an akaashi x reader and I absolutely adore it.

here it is if you're interested!! I'm not a psychology major for nothing LMFAO.

this one's not a hidden gem, but that one atsumu fic I did, "beautiful liar"? one of my absolute favourite fics ever, I was SO excited to post it, I changed around the scheduled date like twice lol. in general I also love my kuroo fics, I feel like writing him comes so naturally to me.

I'm not big on angst at all, I rarely ever read it, and I actually find I'm more sensitive to angst with certain characters (aka kuroo. i'm not kidding, I'm not sure why but anything angsty with him literally pains me. I read the galaxy is endless in 2021 and literally couldn't watch any nekoma episodes for like a week bc I was so upset). Ironically, angst is one of my strong suits when it comes to writing! I just prefer writing fluff bc it's not so mentally draining. I have an angsty (ish. it's hurt/comfort-esque.) mammon fic that I'm hoping to post on saturday that I tried to post last year but couldn't bc I didn't have the energy to finish it on time. angst is so draining for me!!!

I do have a smut blog, though! I don't talk abt it on this blog bc it's SFW and I want the two to be kept separate, but the link is in my pinned post!! there's some kuroo and suna on there already lol.

and if you couldn't tell, I'm wordy. I need to work on that in my fics. and apparently every aspect of written communication. I tend to over explain myself (I was literally about to explain why and then I realized I was doing it again).

tagging (no pressure): @tetzoro @6okuto @ryomance @emmyrosee and anyone else who wants to!! feel free to join in if you'd like :3

Behind the scenes of a Tumblr Writer - Tag Game

Hey there, I love behind the scenes and since this is something that's rarely talked about, let me start the chain... if you feel uncomfortable with a question, just skip it. You can add some if you want as well.

Started writing: I wrote my first Harry Potter fanfic at age 10. Started posting around 15,16 years old. I'm now 31, so...

Started blogging: I started on a German fanfiction site around 2010/11 I think. Might have been earlier too, but back then I was mostly reading, no posting. I really started when I got into One Direction (very late, tbh)

Followers: Currently at 961, which is wild to me. I don't even know that many people IRL. I convince myself that half of them are bots tbh, so I don't freak out all the time.

Communication: The people I talk to regularly are: a few writers who answered after I constantly reblogged and commented on their works and a few people who commented and reblogged my work. Writing and blogging on here can be pretty lonely, depending on your personality and the time you're active (I'm from Europe and a lot of my followers seem to be living in Northern America, so there's the Timezone thing) ... And I found that the best way to strike a conversation is to reblog, comment, and to not be shy. I do wish I got more asks, though....

Likes: I actually filter them out. I have 793 original posts up at the moment. It doesn't give me anything to know how many likes a fic has other than to tell me which characters are liked more than others or maybe that one fic does especially well. My activity only shows me comments, asks, reblogs with tags, and answers to my own asks. I live for the tags and the comments.

Requests: I love talking to people about ideas. That's how I started the plotbunny game because I have so many ideas and so little time. And sometimes an idea just doesn't want to be written out fully. Requests are fun because YAY, I get some mail... but then I freak out because I don't really know how to write this NOW and then I freak out because it's been a week already, two weeks, wait, two months? I'd rather have suggestions where people tell me vague things like "I'd love to read something about this side character" or "Have you ever considered this character with a soulmate trope"? because then I don't have the feeling of failing the request when I write it a little bit differently.

Writing: I am a fast writer. I know that's one of my talents. I can churn out a oneshot of 1k words in less than an hour. People read slower than I write. That can suck sometimes because you've just posted this and you want to know what people are thinking but they're not as fast as you are. I do have a lot of ideas. I want to write constantly but my brain doesn't always want to. I am trying to respect that.

There are also certain things that I just feel wrong writing. I cannot write anything suggestive (I also don't like reading it) and everything past that gives me panic attacks. I can hardly write mean characters and jealousy feels so wrong to me that I cannot write it. I've also overdone it with the soulmark trope and now I feel like everything I write about it feels lifeless.

I write best in the mornings before going to work, but I don't have much time there. I don't need special music (but it helps), but I need to have at least some energy left and at best, no distractions. But I have been writing for over 20 years, so I will say experience helps a lot.

Tagging: @revasserium @shoulmate @lemurzsquad @screamin-abt-haikyuu @toomanygoldfish @satorisoup @emmyrosee @reverie-starlight @alienaiver and @writingsofanomnivore and everyone else who wants to join

[wingedbeings]

:c sleeby

[lownctes]

♚◞  𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐥𝐲  𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐨  𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐲  *&&.  𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐧  𝐫𝐡𝐞𝐞 :  𝟎𝟎𝟑.

                    baby's  presence  on  camera  ,  answering  the  questions  for  the  weekly  video  diary  ,  is  the  exact  opposite  of  the  stage  presence  he  is  known  for  back  home  .  covered  in  glitter  and  gold  ,  BABYLON  is  full  of  confidence  ,  soaked  in  apathy  ,  decorated  in  an  ❛  i  don’t  give  a  fuck  ❜  attitude  .  baby  ,  though  ?  well  ,  baby  is  actively  avoiding  eye  contact  with  the  lens  ,  nervously  biting  at  his  nails  until  his  fingers  bleed  ---  baby’s  camera  presence  is  drenched  in  anxiety  .

𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬:  mentions  of  abusive  relationships  ,  anxiety  ,  &  blood  .

𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞  𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬:  @miinkyuu ,  @rowantm  .

◞  𝐡𝐨𝐰  𝐝𝐨  𝐲𝐨𝐮  𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥  𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭  𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫  𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐞  ?  𝐰𝐡𝐲  𝐝𝐢𝐝  𝐲𝐨𝐮  𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐤  𝐭𝐡𝐞  𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧  𝐲𝐨𝐮  𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝  ?

                    ❝  ah  .  ❞  a  tattooed  hand  comes  up  to  touch  the  back  of  his  neck  ,  fingers  splaying  over  the  lotus  flower  that  is  tattooed  there  .  his  nose  scrunches  up  ,  doe - eyes  crinkling  slightly  in  a  fit  of  embarrassment  .  ❝  i  feel  good  .  fine  .  i  don’t  know  .  minkyu  is  a  literal  doll  .  the  sweetest  person  in  the  world  ,  absolutely  beautiful  ---  he  could  capture  anyone’s  heart  with  just  a  look  ,  you  know  ?  and  i  know  he  was  ---  is  a  fan  of  me  as  an  idol  .  a  fan  of  BABYLON  .  that’s  not  why  i  chose  him  ,  though  .  i  chose  him  because  he  just  . . .  felt  comfortable  .  to  be  around  ,  i  mean  .  i’d  been  kind  of  . . .  anxious  ?  since  the  start  of  this  whole  thing  ,  considering  the  fact  that  i  was  kind  of  ---  no  offense  to  the  show  ---  forced  to  come  here  ,  but  talking  to  him  that  first  night  at  the  ,  um  ,  the  monte  carlo  party  thing  ?  it  was  nice  .  i  didn’t  feel  . . .  pressured  at  all  .  now  that  i  know  he’s  a  fan  ,  of  course  ,  it’s  a  bit  . . .  a  bit  more  tricky  . . .  ❞  he  tilts  his  head  ,  golden  tips  of  hair  falling  in  front  of  his  eyes  .  ❝  i  don’t  want  to  disappoint  him  .  to  destroy  the  magic  behind  BABYLON  ,  you  know  ?  i’m  not  ---  exactly  sure  what  he’s  expecting  ,  though  ,  so  i’m  not  sure  if  i  can  live  up  to  it  .  i  don’t  know  .  i  just  don’t  want  to  disappoint  him  ,  hurt  him  .  sounds  a  bit  silly  now  that  i’m  saying  it  out  loud  ,  but  . . .  ❞  a  shrug  falls  from  his  shoulders  and  his  gaze  shifts  ,  again  ,  from  the  camera  ,  before  he  moves  on  altogether  .

◞  𝐢𝐬  𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞  𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞  𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞  𝐢𝐧  𝐭𝐡𝐞  𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐚  𝐲𝐨𝐮  𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝’𝐯𝐞  𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝  𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐞  ?  (  𝐧𝐨𝐭  𝐚𝐬  𝐚  𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝  )

                    ❝  no  .  ❞  the  answer  is  quick  ,  abrupt  .  for  the  first  time  since  he’s  started  recording  ,  he  speaks  with  the  confidence  that  he  is  so  infamous  for  .  then  ,  he  pauses  ,  gaze  flickering  from  the  back  of  his  own  tattooed  hands  to  the  camera’s  red  recording  light  .  his  abused  bottom  lip  is  drawn  between  his  teeth  and  he  chews  momentarily  in  a  fit  of  nervousness  .  ❝  i  don’t  know  .  i  don’t  think  so  .  ❞  he’s  silent  for  a  moment  ,  hands  coming  up  to  touch  the  top  of  his  ears  ---  a  nervous  habit  of  his  .  ❝  i  don’t  want  to  say  no  .  that  sounds  ---  so  committal  ,  even  though  it’s  really  not  in  regards  to  the  question  ,  but  it  still  ---  it’s  a  bit  early  for  . . .  ❞  he  shakes  his  head  ,  waving  his  hand  at  himself  to  quickly  dismiss  his  rambling  .  ❝  i  don’t  know  .  i  don’t  think  so  ,  ❞  he  repeats  ,  ❝  but  ---  what  do  i  know  ?  this  shit  isn’t  really  my  . . .  expertise  .  ❞  and  he  leaves  it  at  that  .

◞   𝐢𝐬  𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞  𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞  𝐢𝐧  𝐭𝐡𝐞  𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐚  𝐲𝐨𝐮  𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭  𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞  ?

                    ❝  rowan  .  ❞  it’s  flat  ,  quick  .  there’s  no  hesitation  to  it  and  no  nervousness  that  paints  pretty  features  to  follow  .  he’s  confident  ,  absolutely  certain  .  ❝  he  likes  to  make  assumptions  based  on  nothing  ,  likes  to  pick  fights  that  aren’t  there  simply  because  someone  isn’t  so  absolutely  enthralled  with  this  show  as  he  seems  to  be  .  forgive  me  for  being  wary  when  i  was  forced  to  come  here  in  the  first  place  .  not  all  of  us  chose  to  be  here  ,  and  just  because  i’m  not  overflowing  with  excitement  about  being  here  doesn’t  make  me  a  narcissist  any  more  than  he  is  .  ❞

◞  𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭  𝐰𝐚𝐬  𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫  𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭  𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩  𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞  ?

                    the  silence  that  washes  over  him  is  heavy  ,  like  a  weight  hanging  over  his  head  as  glitter - smudged  eyes  simply  blink  and  stare  into  absolute  nothingness  .  he’s  pulled  back  to  the  question  only  by  the  red  recording  light  blinking  incessantly  amidst  his  blurred  view  .  ❝  it  was  . . .  nothing  pretty  .  ❞  he  pauses  ,  isn’t  sure  where  to  take  it  from  here  .  ❝  he  always  held  my  wrist  ,  never  my  hand  .  pretty  purple  ---  flowers  bloomed  on  my  skin  like  i  was  a  fucking  garden  .  i  had  to  cut  my  hair  because  when  it  was  longer  ,  his  fist  could  tangle  in  it  so  easily  .  ❞  golden  ,  contact - coloured  eyes  flicker  to  the  lens  of  the  camera  .  ❝  and  i  would  still  be  the  one  to  comfort  him  at  the  end  of  the  day  as  he  cried  into  my  fucking  shoulder  ,  tears  diluting  my  blood  ,  and  had  the  audacity  to  ask  me  why  i  made  him  do  that  ,  why  i  made  him  ---  hurt  me  .  ❞  hands  ball  into  fists  and  a  shaky  sigh  spills  from  perfectly  glossed  lips  and  into  the  warm  air  .  ❝  long  story  short  ?  i  was  a  pretty  little  flowerbed  for  him  to  beat  rotten  seeds  into  .  i  let  him  grow  pretty  purple  flowers  all  over  my  skin  ,  watered  with  anger  and  jealousy  .  and  i  became  his  own  personal  garden  of  his  own  design  .  ❞  spoken  like  a  true  gothic  romantic  ,  a  true  poet  ,  a  songwriter  .  then  ,  of  course  ---  ❝  i  was  a  fucking  idiot  for  sticking  around  ,  and  i  hope  he  rots  in  hell  .  ❞

◞  𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬  𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫  𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥  𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞  ?

                    he’s  thankful  for  the  simplicity  of  this  question  ,  and  the  answer  slips  from  his  tongue  like  water  slips  from  any  flat  surface  ---  with  ease  and  without  resistance  .  ❝  something  simple  .  i’ve  been  on  too  many  fancy  dates  ,  not  all  of  them  have  ended  in  disaster  ,  but  quite  a  few  of  them  have  .  ❞  he  lets  himself  laugh  ,  it’s  breathy  and  barely  audible  ,  but  bunny  teeth  are  on  display  briefly  and  his  nose  scrunches  slightly  .  ❝  i  think  i’d  like  to  stay  in  .  watch  their  favourite  movie  ,  listen  to  music  ,  maybe  i’d  try  to  play  their  favourite  song  on  guitar  or  piano  .  if  they  have  tattoos  ,  i’d  colour  them  in  with  markers  if  they’d  let  me  .  i’d  ask  them  to  play  with  my  hair  ,  tell  them  to  read  to  me  ,  maybe  i’d  ask  their  opinion  on  a  song  or  two  .  just  . . .  ❞  he  shrugs  ,  hand  coming  up  to  nervously  scratch  behind  his  ear  .  ❝  something  simple  ,  comfortable  .  something  that  won’t  trigger  the  anxiety  and  make  me  feel  like  i  have  to  be  golden  and  glimmering  and  perfect  .  there’s  beauty  in  simplicity  .  poems  for  the  small  things  .  ❞

[winking]

i am how do u say tired

[ohmsjedi]

𝘌𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘌𝘨𝘨 𝘏𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘊𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘉𝘰𝘺𝘴

𝘔𝘰𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘯 𝘈𝘜

a/n: i thought of this like at 3 am, and i myself, did Easter egg hunting and pushed a few kids in the process and got 9 bucks!

Characters: Rex, Wolffe, Cody, Fives, Echo

𝐑𝐞𝐱

you have rex wrapped around your finger, so ofc he said yes to your proposal to take part in easter egg hunting 

wouldn’t be too embarrassed to egg hunt with you, your cousins, distant relatives, sibling(s), (if you have any) etc.

would have the heart to pick up eggs and give it back to the rightful owner if they were to have dropped it or it fell out of their basket

would be asked by the little ones to fetch some eggs they saw in the tree, bush, etc.

even if he’s older than everyone else, he still manages to have fun

you and him ended up sharing a basket instead of having your own individual ones cause you were nice enough to not hog up the eggs

“Rex can you reach the purple egg up there” you pointed up in the tall tree where a plastic purple egg was wedged between the tree branches. Rex nodded and stepped on the big oak trees roots and stepped on his tippy toes. He struggled a little bit with getting the egg unstuck, but successfully managed to get a hold of it. Once he stepped down from the tree root he placed the egg in the basket you were holding filled with other plastic eggs. “Thank you my love” you kissed his cheek and walked off to an untouched section of the park that the kids hadn’t got to yet. Rex felt his cheeks heat up and he followed after you like a lost puppy.

𝐖𝐨𝐥𝐟𝐟𝐞

he was unfazed and not surprised that you forced him to join you...

he was kind enough to help you find and pick up eggs

both of your baskets were pink since you decided you’d join the easter egg hunt last minute

you also managed to snag a pair of pink bunny ears at the store and had Wolffe wear them the whole time you were there 

he died a bit inside, but continued to wear them cause it made you happy

the kids were terrified of him, which meant that the kids wouldn’t go anywhere near where the two of you were

the perks were that you got more eggs than expected

he felt really really bad though, he really did

so you both agreed to give some of the eggs away (that were only filled with candy)

but after this kind gesture, the kids warmed up to him and swarmed him the rest of the day

“They’re staring” Wolffes shoulders slumped a little as he held the pink basket in his left hand. You looked behind him and noticed your little cousins keeping some distance from you both. Your eyes softened seeing how uncomfortable he looked. This was the first time bringing Wolffe around to a full event family reunion, which meant meeting more relatives. When the younger ones noticed Wolffe, they became hesitant seeing him for the first time. You walked up to Wolffe and grabbed his right hand, bringing it up to your lips, you kissed his knuckles and looked at him. “After we’re done, we can give the eggs away to the kids” he nodded and laced your fingers together “and when I mean we give the eggs away, I mean the ones filled with candy not the money”

𝐂𝐨𝐝𝐲

denied doing egg hunting with you

“plea-“

“no”

after some convincing, he joined you

he didn’t interact nor help you pick up the eggs tho

he observed as you gave one of your cousins the death stare as they took the egg that was almost in arms reach

you wanted to throw some hands, but you couldn’t cause you had to be mature and a decent peer for them to look up to one day...maybe.

he got asked a couple of times by the little ones to help get an egg that was not accessible to them and he kindly complied 

after thinking to yourself, you shoved the easter basket towards cody and walked away, only coming back to him if your hands were full of eggs

Cody mused as you stormed off into a direction of where bright colorful eggs were apparent. You glared at him when you came back after snatching a few eggs away from your cousins before their grimy hands could get ahold of them. “Are you sure you’re not 12?” You placed the few eggs you had in the basket that he held for you “yes I’m sure, but just so you know, i refuse to share both the candy and the money with you” you gave him a pointed look. Cody hummed, and hid his free hand behind his back. “You wouldn’t at least share a single piece of candy’ with your boyfriend?” he pouted and you hissed “okay okay fine, only a couple of candies and that’s it” Cody raised both his eyebrows “hmm what a shame” Cody quickly brought his free hand over your head and cracked a confetti egg over your head. You gasped and started to jab at his arm “you bitch-”

𝐅𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬

he asked YOU to go easter egg hunting with him

in this case, with how he acted childish in a sense...you got him a batman themed easter basket and he was hyped af

you were eternally grateful and ashamed that he got along with the little ones

he oddly fit in with them so well...

while your relatives prepared to hide the eggs, he made sure to get the kids excited to go egg hunting while waiting inside the house

“Alright ground rules! No pushing or shoving, stealing eggs from one another is fine, but no stealing from each other’s baskets”

this easter was a chaotic mess🧍

You watched as the kids and Fives ran into the backyard and started grabbing as much eggs as they could. You observed as Fives went against the ground rules he set and stole eggs from the more mature cousins that wouldn’t get butt hurt and start crying. Fives reached up into a tree that had a golden egg placed in an empty bird nest. You walked up behind him, making sure to keep a distance so he could have enough room to climb down. “Fives are you serious right now?” You crossed your arms in front of you and gave him an unamused look; once he managed to retrieve the golden egg, he turned towards you and gave you a big smile. “I got this one just for you” he placed the golden egg in your nearly empty basket and kissed your forehead “now back to my mission” he scurried off before you could tell him off, but alas, it fell onto deaf ears and he was halfway across the backyard.

𝐄𝐜𝐡𝐨

kindly accepted your offer right away

was a bit embarrassed, but seeing how enthusiastic you were about easter egg hunting, he relaxed

he was kind and patient and allowed the younger ones to have their fun while you both held hands and salvaged whatever you could

he was a bit eager at first with how many eggs were already stored in other baskets, but seeing as you were enjoying and reminiscing your childhood he calmed down

what amazed you was how polite some of your younger relatives were to Echo, they would offer up some eggs to him.

an innocent  gesture to show how they appreciated echos kindness or his presence

You watched as one of your younger cousins approached you both and held a blue egg up in front of Echo. Echo smiled down at the child and squatted down to their height “thank you, but it’s yours’ to keep” your cousin smiled and shook their head “you can hav et”. Echo gave a kind smile and carefully took the egg into his hand, your cousin scurried away to get more eggs somewhere else. He stood up and looked over to you, you shrugged your shoulders and brought the basket up towards him, in which he placed the blue egg in. You grabbed his hand and continued to pick up after what the kids had managed to leave behind, or even miss. But, Echo had an amazing time celebrating easter with you and your family.

[one-abuse-survivor]

hey so my friends say some things my mom does are abusive but i dont think so? i wanted to get your opinion since you seem to know a lot about that sort of stuff

my mom loves me very much and is very proud of me, she wants the best for me, tho i dont think she knows what is actually best for me. for example, she criticises some clothes i wear that i really like and makes me want to wear them less around her, or sometimes insists that i should change clothes to smth “nicer” or “more appropriate” until we are arguing and most of the time i give in, but she says its because she wants me to look better. she does also keep telling me i should grow out my hair again, even after i told her im trans (point that will be brought up later), she was really bothered when i first cut it short and even told me she had a nightmare i was lesbian, in her words

she does try to get me to spend a lot of time with her even when i dont want to, but thats because i live in another country so i dont see her much. some time recently we were playing a board game (that i didnt want to play and they knew this) and i gave a time when i was going to sleep, the time passed but my family didnt want to let me go up bc the game was almost done according to them, so i was stuck there complaining bc i knew i would get lectured if i left (i got lectured for being selfish and complaining, regardless)

back to the trans thing, shes very transphobic but that has nothing to do with abuse, since i came out she has told me about how stressed she has been and how im not trans because she knows me and all that and basically asked me to fly back for two weeks so she could see me and hug me (oh yeah, i dont like hugging people much either but she sometimes makes me hug her and wont let go until i hug her “well” and gets hurt that i dont want to hug her) as well as see a psychiatrist for depression or smth, which is where im at now

she also keeps asking me to turn on find my friends again because she gets anxious with me having it off (despite the fact that i dont live in the same country) but i hate having it on so i keep fighting her about this

but my mom does really love me and idk i feel like im exaggerating stuff bc my brothers dont seem to have an issue with her

Hi! I do know quite a bit, but remember I'm not a professional, just an abuse survivor, and all I can give you is my personal opinion :)

I want to start off by saying that parents can be proud of us and want the best for us and still be toxic or abusive, or just really hurtful. Both things aren't incompatible. Sometimes, they're so preoccupied with their own needs (like knowing where we are or having the kid they always expected to have) that they don't see their words and actions toward us as unfair or abusive, because they don't even think to put themselves in our skin. Sometimes they think they're helping us by doing the things that hurt us the most. And there's a million other reasons parents (and people in general) might reach the cognitive dissonance of hurting us while loving us. But that doesn't erase the hurt. It doesn't make their words or actions okay.

Just from what you shared in this ask, I can't tell you if she's abusive, but I can tell you the way she treats you is not okay, and sounds really hurtful, selfish and toxic, even if she doesn't mean for it to be. And you're absolutely not exaggerating. You're simply listening to your body when it tells you that she's hurting and upsetting you. There's nothing wrong with that. You deserve to process the emotions she's putting you through. You don't deserve to brush them all away and minimise your own pain just because she doesn't have bad intentions when she hurts you.

She's prioritising her needs over yours and lecturing and arguing with you when you try to set boundaries. It's not okay for her to punish you in that way any time you have a boundary that inconveniences her. You have a right to choose what you wear and what your hair looks like. You have a right to say no without fear and to be taken seriously when you say it. It might seem like not wanting hugs or wanting to go to bed at a certain time are "minor" things, unimportant boundaries, but they're not. They're a part of your bodily autonomy as a human being, and they matter. Every person deserves to have control over their body.

And, regarding "find my friends", every person has a right to privacy as well. She might have the need to know where you are, but that doesn't negate your need to privacy about where you are. That doesn't take away your right to keep it turned off if that's what you want. You don't owe it her to self-sabotage your own needs and boundaries just to please her. Parents' needs do not come before boundaries.

And, hey, I know this is hard to believe sometimes, but transphobia and abuse are not incompatible. Abuse can be transphobic abuse. And the whole thing with her telling you how stressed she feels about the fact you're trans—and trying to convince you you're not because she knows you better than you know yourself—are red flags of abuse. Saying things like "look, look how much I'm suffering because of this thing you're going through!" is guilt-tripping, and trying to convince another person that you know them better than they know themselves and they should trust you over their own perception is gaslighting. Yes, these things are transphobia, but they can definitely also be abuse.

Gosh, the fact that she told you she had a nightmare you were a lesbian... It resonated a lot with me, because my mother said something really similar when I came out as nonbinary to her (she said her worst nightmare was to see me with a beard). It's such a horrible thing to hear from a parent when all you're doing is trying to be your authentic self. It's not okay. I'm really sorry you had to go through that.

I hope some of this helps to hear. Even if I can't tell you just from your ask whether what you're going through is abuse, I can tell you it's not okay, it's not healthy, it's not something you should have to put up with, and the red flags are definitely there. She can want what's best for you and still walk all over you. She can be proud of you and still overstep all your boundaries and affect your mental health. You can acknowledge that she loves you and still believe that you deserve better than this, because you do. You don't have to feel guilty for wanting better for yourself.

If therapy is an option (because you want to, not because she said so), I think it could really help you navigate all these feelings. Also, please keep being you inside and out! If she likes long hair that much, she can keep her own hair as long as she likes.

Sending a big virtual hug ❤

[akria23]

Episode 8

I’ll try to keep this short 😌

Mommy has arrived and she’s brought the chaos - as we all knew she would. Like I said before there’s really only one role she could play, no matter if she did so actively or passively and she’s chosen to do so actively & aggressively.

She does in fact seem to hav me mental illness - which yes disappoints me because they’ve also written her as abusive and dangerous and there’s a lot of representation for mental illness under such light and rarely any for the other side. However I’m not gonna delve on it since it was on my possibility list so it’s not like they didn’t warn us. I said she looked like a creepster showing up to Fiat’s school (when I talked about epi 7 & the preview) but it was actually Leo’s house…which made it more creepy.

She hates Leo which isn’t surprising either but does this mean a separation built on a choice between the two (Fiats mom or Leo) l. I’ve spoken on this before and stated that if they have Fiat temporarily choose his mother simply because she’s his mom I won’t like it and will view it as bad writing not only because they done little to no build up on that but also because Leo & his family has been what Fiat has wanted for a long time. That to make such a choice believable it would have to be a great reason behind it. However this episode has shown that Fiats mother is violent in her illness so I don’t know if ‘choosing’ her is an option that will go over well for anyone. That doesn’t mean she can’t cause chaos and bring a separation tho. She’d be better off telling him that he Bas and unlovable by anyone but her rather than confronting Leo but it looks like she’s gonna try to deal with Leo herself. Personally I’d rather Fiat get his mother some help. Even if he chooses not to have a relationship with her I would prefer to see her end up in a better facility that can help her manage her illness. Fiat can sit down with a therapist himself as well given his self view & past trauma.

They went ahead and set the father up as the misunderstood parent - ive said weeks ago that they’d do this and why I personally didn’t like it but this episode gave me another reason because they did so by giving Fiat another part of himself to dislike. Even though he can blame him mom for manifesting the hate into him he’s still feel the guilt of his own actions. And what frustrates me is this does not absolve the dad from being a bad dad. There is no way Fiat should still be vulnerable to this woman entering his life again in adulthood but he is because his father never dealt with the issue between him & his son. Because he never was open and honest. Because he never took Fiat to deal with his own trauma. Instead he chose to make a decree and avoid it all. His son acts out in an alarming voile that way? That’s fine just let him stay at the neighbors. That stay built a belief that wasn’t true? Ah ok that’s fine. Let Fiat go ahead and keep believing it. So on and so forth. You can’t avoid parenting if you’re gonna be a parent… And how did the little girl hear her grandparents talking about her almost being killed in the belly by her brother…All in all they’ve successfully set the father up as misunderstood father & the stepmom as the patient accepting one. I have a hard time seeing her as the step mom cause her and fiat actually look a bit alike more-so than either of his biological parents.

I think we got atleast 2 of the crying scenes in this episode so that leaves 2-3 more, Leo’s being one of them. The did basically confirm that we should expect to see King again - which I’ve already mentioned in theory. In the preview for the next episode Leo mentions that he thought Fiat wouldn’t keep secrets from him anymore to which Fiat says it’s cause it was already in the past. I wonder if this section will relate to King. Not for any particular reason in the show it’s just like I said before I feel Fiat could’ve lied in his explanation of what happened between him & King - and I would prefer either this or a set up on Fiats part - rather than Fiat making another mistake later that leads him to hate himself even more as I’m not really a fan of Fiat hating himself. But we’ll see. I’m not sure they’ll bring King back in the next episode probably episode 10 since the mom is still there right now. Personally I’m also hoping they don’t go with the angst driven episode 11 and make it a cheerful one just to kill the cliche but that’s just me. I was kinda distracted while watching the episode so hopefully I didn’t miss talking about anything big.

[sc3n3kitt3h]

For the character thing, Cephalobot?

my first impression: ZOMG ROBOSRUYT OCCYpUS> JHDSGLFShaslgggggggggAHHHHHHHDFJGFADGLJG

my impression now: ZOMG ROBOSRUYT OCCYpUS> JHDSGLFShaslgggggggggAHHHHHHHDFJGFADGLJG

my fav moment: ALL OF THEM!!!! when he EXISTZ!!!! cbot iz so epic i <3 this funky lil guy!!! lil robo dude!!!!! nintendo couldnt hav POSSIBLY done better when designing him!!?!!! i think about him so much?!?!?!?!! hez so epic ily cbot

idea 4 a story: petri and him being epic moirail qppz!!! i need moar of these 2 being bffz!!!! they should hold handz and cuddle and hug!!!! AAGSJD I WISH THERE WAZ MOAR CONTENT OF THESE 2... especially fluff T^T

unpopular opinion: he shouldnt hav been smug :[ idk if thatz unpopular or not but i think he would hav been better az lazy... mayb thatz just me loving the lazy type tho!!

fav relationship: i havent rlly thought abt any romantic shipz 4 him! obvi i luv luv LUV him and petri, i also rlly liek him and sasha + him and all the other robo villagerz!! i think the roboz r all a big found family <:D

fav headcannon: eee i cant choose!!! therez the robo found fam.. therez 083 (the numberz on the back of hiz head) being a little octopus, petri doing repairz on him and stuffz, autistic cephalobot or at least him being rlly bad with human interaction, him being originally built with the intention of him being some kind of EVIL DEATH ROBOT or something but him just saying "nah fuk this lawlz" and moving 2 the player island/a vaca home 4evar..... i might b getting a little ahead of myself srry this iz so long <:3 thank u 4 letting me ramble!!!! /gen!!!!!!! even if it waz just a text post :p

[luvargas]

     i think i just saw LUCILA “ LU ” VARGAS ride by on a golf cart . at least i think it was her . after all , CREDIT IN THE STRAIGHT WORLD BY HOLE was blasting on the transistor radio . maybe she was on her way to work , i hear she’s a PERSONAL TRAINER . but she totally could have been on her way to SNEAK IN A SMOKE AT THE GARDEN . guess we’ll never know . you’ll definitely know its her when you see LOOSE AND TANGLED HAND WRAPS , BUTTON BADGES ON VEGAN LEATHER ,  AND HEAR THE SHRILL SOUND OF BICKERING around the country club . let’s just hope she stays off the green after hours or else the sprinklers will get her !

( new muse, messy thoughts, u get the gist. pls know the views of this chara do not reflect my own. the name’s katya, 21, she/her pronouns & im ready 2 party. feel free to hmu wnvr or drop a like to plot n ill com 2 u ! x — oh n pls be a pal n read this quick disclaimer. tysm ! )

BASICS

24 years old

15 april 1997

5′1″ or 1.55m tall

bisexual cis woman, she/her

aries sun, aqua moon, and aqua rising

love languages : quality time & acts of service

BIO POINTS

kid o’ divorce, lived w her ma in chicago til she was 6 then w her dad in highlands til 14 then back to her ma ! 

def a daddys gorl. so used to her white pop’s leniency that livin w her strict latina ma durin her teen yrs was So Not Her Vibe ergo * cue her rebel grrrl phase *

did not finish hs ! left senior yr 2 to go w her “ radically progressive ” college bf to [ insert dev country. ] they broke up after a few mos but she kept at that life for a couple more yrs

seen some places. lived in new countries. done some shit. some good, some sus, but all generally well-intentioned. tis a whole thing but u get the gist, nywy !

lu’s back in da usa by 21. rel w the ma is strained but the pa is chill w stuff, they kept in touch. he said shell get her college fund if she gets her ged so she does !

her dad is v active n stuff so shes just always been v sporty w him. lu turnin 23 w zilch plans worried him so he implored her to get certified as a personal trainer ! n when she did, he called in a few favors w a pal he knows et voilà ! ur hired.

LU AT WORK

shes been workin at the country club fr a little over a yr now. most her clients are influencer-type gals n they luv her bc shes can take rlly cute pics n stuff for content. lu sorta likes some of em n she fakes the rest for the bread. u can bet she clowns all em richies behind their back   

unless she got clients, catch her runnin’ about the club n minglin’ w the other workers. does it annoy mngmt ? yes. n she luvs that. but bc her soon-2-b-karen clients luv her n wont stand for her bein booted, she can milk that impunity

actually knows her shit n lowkey rlly enjoys the work. she picked back up the boxing n tae kwon do she did when she was younger plus she was always in the track team at school. v healthy lifestyle save for her smokin vice n the party moments

PERSONALITY 

passionate ! has lotsa opinions. helluva a drama queen, bit of a loud mouth, argumentative n stubborn but her heart’s in the right place, albeit a lil misguided. comes w the whole activist bit, bitin her tongue just aint it. highkey makes everythin political n smtms gotta realize .,.,. it just aint that deep chief. some say shes needlessly defiant, but maybe thats a in the beholder typa thing ? fingers crossed 4 lu’s sake

fun, fun, fun ! can be real naggy but shes no buzzkill. wannabe anarchist-slash-mutineer who wants 2 stick it 2 the man ! get rowdy go crazy

fight, fight, fight ! goin back to the first bit, she talks big. esp w like ,, men n the whites lol. she can actually walk her threats tho she isnt actually violent. w arguments, she likes to start em but finishin is ... ruff.  also any dare, she wont back down in either doin it or arguin why doin it wld be smth-ist. shes not the sharpest tool ok rip lu

loyal legend ! fr her friends n buds, shell turn a blind eye. pals r the only exception ! truly ride or die n will do errthng 4 em. v much a believer in the power of community n ppl needin ppl or wtvr, yk, all that stuff. shes mouthy but like, she helps ppl 

here’s a brief blurb n a more coherent look into lu as a character

TIDBITS

lu can understand spanish but hers is a bit broken, tis her secret shame shhh

she doesn’t believe in the institution. any institution. u name it, shes got beef

pls dont fact check her she cant hear u

probs lowkey thinks shes better than u bc shes vegan

prefers 2 be called “ lu ” n ny1 who insists on lucila is dead 2 her 

comments abt her not lookin like a pt w her height n frame will result in an earful n a dramatic outburst. it aint worth it chief

watches lotsa sports w her pops. mostly indiv ones. mma, boxing, tennis, track, etc

dont ask me abt her principles n politics, i cant explain em either. v inconsistent n just messy at this point tbh but here’s a lil attempt ig

she drives a 2018 prius n lives in a p nice 1br apt outside the club

her mom’s middle class n her dad is almost upper-middle class. he isnt a member of the club but, like ,,, he cld be if he wanted to lol. he spoils her sm while she hasnt rlly Spoken to her mom besides civility, rip they both stubborn, tis a vargas thing

she is v much in a comfy position money-wise n dsnt hav much Need to hustle but sis does hav a couple of organizations she regularly sends some dough to so thats nice ig

she went fr grassroots activist to a veteran twitter/tumblr/reddit/wtvr ranter n a change.org gofundme petition regular. is it burnout ? is she ok ? honestly who knows

WANTED CONNECTIONS / TAKEN CONNECTIONS

found family ! pals n squad wanted. y’all gotta hav patience or ear plugs to power thru her self-indulgent mini-rants but shell luv ya back tenfold !

carpool buds ? cld be a pal ! or maybe yall had a lil argument or small beef but lu still drives ym bc her pride ? said mother earth first even tho the tension n silly drama is funny 

homies to smoochies ! just sum nsa makin out. cld be pals, cld be flirty, idk, but if u wanna kiss her shes probs ok w that

smoke bud ! just sum1 thats her go-to 2 smoke w on her breaks. knows not to call her out on how its not healthy fr a trainer yada yada she knows ok. let her live

an ex ? idk yet shes not rlly datey but thats out there

crushes ! this bitch hot but does she know how to flirt ? not rlly. watch her fumble

debate club ! aka sum1 she bickers w relentlessly. its valid, sum1 fite her. r u a worker or a club member ? either works. its a whole club bc she can have tons, lu can be hella annoying n testy

clients ! self-explanatory. do they get along tho ? lets find out ! 

( im officially braindead now but if y’all got more ideas or think theres smth lu wld fit just lmk !!! down 4 wtvr, wld luv 2 hash it out w yall <3 ) 

[bpdeadd]

w the whole pro dx vs self dx thing - n u can unfollow me if u want I don’t rly give a shit - I'm am lit pro - self dx, I self diagnosed myself w bpd before I got a diagnosis from an actual professional - not that I got any proper help for it tho anyways after, but it took so damn long to get a diagnosis n even longer for me to be referred in the first place - I had to fucking beg my gp 5 or 6 times, n even tried fucking crying to make her ‘pity’ me n to refer me to a psychiatrist/professional anyways bc she was just fucking smiling like a twat n telling me to ‘exercise’ n do ‘yoga’ n not taking me fucking seriously at all, getting a professional diagnosis for a disorder is a difficult fucking thing, and unless u have the resources, access and money and time it can be rly difficult to even get a diagnosis in the first damn place, plus what? just bc u haven’t been diagnosed professionally u don’t have a specific disorder? like there are actually ppl who fucking spend time researching into it - as much as they can, like ffs I've self diagnosed myself w adhd - after researching about it, reading articles, watching many videos about it - and listening/reading experiences from ppl w actual adhd, and reading through my old school reports, n the fucking therapist I'm seeing atm asked me if I wanted a diagnosis but the waiting list for it is like 2 years long or some shit so yh, idk if I even want to wait 2 years to just be told I may not have it bc of my bpd diagnosis n then just saying its that, ppl don’t fucking make it easy to get a diagnosis in the first damn place anyways, n even those who may think they have stigmatised disorders (such as cluster b pds) the professional may not even want to diagnose them in the first place? plus there's barely much help for us anyway?? like I've spent about 5 years since my bpd diagnosis trying to find some fucking support/help/therapy, I am lit getting nowhere n am always just fucking left on my own to just ‘deal’ with it, n like I've signed up for possibly schema therapy which I'll get put on the waiting list for after my sessions w this person ends, n even then idk how long that’ll be? bc the guy said it could be 18 months, like I ain’t got fucking time to wait around anymore for some damn help, which I may not even fucking get anyway, like nothing may work, so self diagnosis atm can atleast help u recognise yr symptoms n try to find the best way to help yourself w/o trying to jump from therapist to therapist who may or may not help u - like I've done my own research n have helped myself more over the last 6 months then any therapist has done for me over the last 5 years, obv I still have a lot of shit to work on n nw hav fucking c-ptsd from some recent fucking trauma (which also I'm not getting help for lol) 

like I think as long as u spend time researching n maybe listening to other peoples experiences with a certain disorder/s u feel u may have, self dx can be a rly useful tool for anyone who may be concerned about certain stigma about certain disorders they feel they may have, or who may not be able to have access to therapy/getting a diagnosis, may not have the money, nor the time, or even be in a situation where diagnosis is not a possibility atm, n also to those under the age of 18 who may think they may hav a pd, def look into it but mostly focus on the symptoms u experience rather then the actual disorder itself n try various ways on how to help yourself w that n managing those symptoms, plus also read about other disorders that have similar symptoms bc a lot of disorders share a ton of symptoms. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

[quirkysubject]

Text fic, Roger’s Ferrari caught fire and he’s somewhere rural in France. Everybody’s trying to figure out how to help out, some more effectively than others. There must be at least one bored and intransigent cow.

four wheeled friends (g-rated, gen, modern AU)

~~~Queen Group Chat~~~

RT: any of you guys happen to be near Censeau rn

JD: no

BM: We’re in Montreux. Recording an album. Why aren’t you? 🤨

FM: where? 

FM: why, what’s up? 

RT: ah nevermind

--- 5 minutes later ---

RT: you guys *know* anyone near Censeau tho

JD: fck whydn?

BM: That’s more than an hour’s drive from here. What are you doing there? 

BM: John, what is that even supposed to mean?

RT: just gone for a drive. yes yes, spare me the lecture 🙄

FM: are you alright? 

RT: sure

RT: i mean

BM: Oh God.

RT: the fire’s out

FM: Fire????

RT: and i don’t think anyone noticed

FM: Fire?????????

JD: h/o i thght yor not allwd to drive!? 

RT: john stfu

BM: Wait, why isn’t he allowed to drive?

RT: a mere technicality

RT: (thanks a lot deaks)

FM: Roger ARE YOU OK? WHAT FIRE? 😲😲😲

[10 minutes later]

BM: So, to recap: You went for a drive (although you’re due in the studio this afternoon) and then your Ferrari mysteriously caught fire - again! - and you can’t call the police because you lost your license for various speeding infractions and also because of all the illegal modifications you’ve had done on your car (which of course have nothing to do with the fire *at all*). 

FM: also they better not do a blood test… 🥳🥴

RT: 😣fred

BM: I’ll call Miami

RT: no. no anything bu t that please he’ll have my head 

RT: and worse my car keys

JD: jus get in the fckn car bri well get him

FM: I come too! Road Trip!🤠

BM: No. Freddie stays and keeps up appearances in the studio. Distract Mack. 

FM: ohhhh, a diversion!

BM: No dress-up required, Fred. 

FM: dress up’s *always* required, dear!

[30 minutes later]

FM: how are you my darlings? 🥺

BM: John is going to be the next one losing his license the way he’s speeding. 

RT: so fucking bored

RT: look this is what counts as entertainment round here *selfie of himself with a bored, intransigent cow directly behind him. More are grazing in the background*

BM: Rog, are you *on* the field? 

BM: That’s a bull and their are calves around. get out!

FM: oh shit Bri just made a tyop. this is real, roger my darling, run!

FM: Roger, you alright?

FM: Rog?

BM: This isn’t funny, Rog. 

BM: Roger, for fuck’s sake!

[30 minutes later]

FM: [26th message in a row] are you trying to torture me? 

FM: it’s not funny!

FM: are you there yet?

FM: brian I know you have read my messages 

FM: i can see the blue check marks

FM: for pity’s sake won’t anyone please tell me if roger has been eaten by rabid cows?

FM: I’ll have your heads on spikes when you get home all of you

FM: roger especially you can’t do this to me!

JD: yoll hav to fight off bri first lol

FM: Deaky! 

FM: wtf is going onnnn?????????

JD: found him 

[Picture of Roger. There’s straw in his hair and a beaming smile on his face. A pretty, dark-haired woman with a wrongly done-up shirt is half-visible behind him. In the background, Brian can be seen kicking the tire of a still smoking fire-engine red Ferrari]

JD: thats amelie

JD: its her cow

[alphaketoglutaricacid]

@onehithero said: also we know theres at least some actual animals besides gadoll liek the scorpion n cows tht show up for a sec in ep 1 so tankers hav tht going for them re: food sources ..SORRY FOR RAMBLING SO MUCH deca dence essay got sleeper agent activated

onehithero said: i rly like what usaid abt kabu from natsumes pov too but i cannot form a half cohernet thought abt tht one

onehithero said: ALSO ALSO i think its interesting how the ep 8 conversation w minato is i think the only time kabu talks abt being jealous of humans being able to choose their own paths

onehithero said: also how minatos convinced hes like a good lil cog in the machine yet hes done 50 things tht wuld get him labeled as a bug but he just ignores all tht. the both of them can be so disconnected w reality

onehithero said: like minato didnt know abt 1)natsume 2) how the system has made kabu so severely depressed n he culdnt put up w it anymore.n minato continues pushing the just go along w the system shit he doesnt understand tht he was contributing to kabus misery.. n bc of tht kabu doesnt trust minato enough to tell him abt natsume for so long but then he goes n asks smth so big of him as go against the system

onehithero said: thinks abt how kabu n minato r obviously so important to each other but minato understands him less n less over time & kabu kinda already knew its risky to confide in minato like minato did know abt pipe which was a long time ago but he didnt know abt natsume til kabu was already sacrifing himself for her sake. n yet kabu then goes n tries to get him on his side anyway cuz he wants tht so badly..

onehithero said: OMG OMG CHEWS THESE WORDS SLOWLY N THROUGHLY SO DELICIOUS THANK U THANK U u get it u understand i love reading n writing essay lengh responses abt deca dence & again u just hit the nail on the head w this

Please let me know if this @ u 8 times and sorry if it did.  I will reply under this readmore but i love this enthusiasm! I like discussing this stuff so if u want keep it coming. I wanna understand deca dence better and i think i will by sharing ideas w other ppl. 

I think kabu and minatos relationship  is as good as it is because theres clearly a lot of mutual love and respect between them even when they don’t understand each other and thats why minato still runs after him when he hears kabu going suicide mission lets go baby. I think its interesting that minato was like ready to lie down and accept getting mass scrapped until he hears kabu go im about to be hilarious and hes like actually living and staying alive sounds great actually forget what i said about it being over.   you are so right about kabu and trust and natsume. I will always cherish episode 5 where kabu gives this big rousing speech about how natsume inspired him and saved his life and minatos there like ..who? ..what?? I think they may not be used to hiding things from each other. Also I think them drifting apart mirrors natsume and feis drifting apart tho I think while feis the instigator on that side kabus more on his side and minato like natsume is like wondering what in da world is going on. I think someone else wrote about this better than I can.

I do think minato does know kabus severely depressed because theres this line in ep 4 where he puts his hand on kabu and says like you’ve toiled enough at that awful job. and also in episode 11 when he and kabu talk and kabu says he was in a similar place as minato now in that he was waiting every day to be scrapped minato has no reaction until kabu says but that bug saved me. I think he knows kabus very depressed but he does not know how to address it cuz the system never gives either of them the tools or options for it. Though also I feel the system discourages meaningful relationships between the cyborgs so I think what minato and kabu have is likely pretty rare. Kabu donetello and turkey also fought together for a long time but turkey turns on donetello in a second even tho they fought together, he was his number two, and they were in prison together, and were pretty much all they got and donetello kills him in turn. I also think minato probably knew because he’s empathetic. Like I’m not sure about compassion but he’s very good at understanding where other ppl are and how to meet them in the middle so both parties get something they want. That’s how he got all the gamers to collect the old deca dence parts. Not by cashing in on ppl doing the right thing but by framing it as the final mission. He gets his lgbt community center coworkers for fight with him one last time by appealing to their sense of duty. He got the system to put kabu in jail instead of getting scrapped when Mikey got scrapped for a lesser offense. The list goes on. A tangent but I think the fact he acknowledges the living conditions of the humans are gonna get worse if nothing’s done even tho he’s apathetic at best towards them shows even when the system tries to mold the cyborgs into the roles it wants, sometimes the traits they have just keep on going despite themselves. I’m gonna stop myself before I go into jill and this theme but I’m gonna talk about it someday. So I think its more likely than not he knew but he didn’t know how to navigate around it also because it’s heavily implied he’s going thru the same thing and I think kabu might genuinely have no idea Bc kabu lacks empathy but his heart... is huge. When he hears minato express his feelings of not knowing what he wants he instantly tries to reach out and explain minatos not alone in what he feels. This is why they’re good foils. while kabu moves past where he was in the start where he states he does not intend to oppose the system and his compliance while also trying to do the bare minimum drives him to suicide, and finds the willpower and a reason to live and rebel against the system through his connection to other people (first natsume , he hangs out w kurenai sometimes too, and then with the jail robots). Meanwhile minato whos stuck in his literal ivory tower (it’s a Metaphor) never makes any of these connections. It’s the irony of kabu working at a armor repair job giving him some ability to connect w others vs minatos higher position isolating him from everyone else. I think kabu living amongst the ppl he harmed drove him to give up on life quicker, while minato being far apart shielded him from rlly having to see the effects of his actions I think he was headed a lil slower in the same direction. I think we’re led to believe minatos okay where he is but I think towards the end it’s clear minato has spent most of the series also in a bad place. I think he views things very similarly to kabu in that he wants to use what power he does have to protect the ppl he cares about similar to how initially kabu tried to just convince natsume to quit several times and he was like whatever at the rest of the humans who are natsumes comrades dying but he chooses to put it all on the line and try for some systemic change when he sees natsumes determination to fight. Also I think minato holds very little loyalty to the system cuz he doesn’t only like breaks 1000 rules for kabu (the hypocrisy) but he also looks the other way a lot. For example, when he overheard the top rankers talk about limiters he’s like I’ll pretend I don’t hear it also turn on private mode next time and he doesn’t berate them for considering cheating. Also donetello has been using an illegal avatar to climb to S rank again (isn’t it interesting that even after the ranked system is abolished something similar took its place). And his avatar looks the same as it did when minato worked with the guy. There’s probably like not that many ppl in s rank. And he calls himself donetello. Minato knows he’s supposed to be in jail but does he tell anyone? He’s like well.. that looks like someone else’s problem if they notice *goes and vapes* it’s so funny how little minato cares but it’s also not funny Bc some of minatos cruelest actions and things he’s complicit in are born not outta malice but apathy to everything. I think it shows (tangent number 4?) how the systems use of excessive force is counter productive cuz neither minato nor kabu are willing to report anything to disrupt the order Bc neither of them think the level of punishment is warranted. I also think that minato is probably the first person kabu really opens up to about why on a personal level he feels the system needs to be destroyed after Ep 7 is really interesting. It really speaks to how deep their [mutual and not platonic relationship I don’t know how to label ] is. I also think that he admits to minato that he envies human is rlly interesting and would like to hear what u have to think! I think it’s interesting that what really sets minato off is kabu saying he wants to choose for himself and also wants other cyborgs to have that freedom and I think it’s one of the few times we see minato get genuinely angry and have it not stem from worry. Tangent 5 I’m really extrapolating here but I think it’s very likely given how high up minato is that he likely knows of several cyborgs that rebelled against the system for similar reasons as kabu and knows how it ends and I think it probably feeds into his defeatist attitude. I think his role in the system must really kill whatever grasp of whatever minato has cuz he constantly has to act like it’s almost the end of the world and he’s strapped for resources all the time for like decades and decades of having to fake that type of desperation to entertain ur player base and cuz ur also on tv to entertain the general populace to distract them from their soul sucking jobs. I think that’s gotta mess with his perception of himself and also his ability to see that struggle as real and genuine. I think that’s also gotta be hard cuz he seems like out of his whole fuck we r under attack persona he seems like he’s a lil closed off but generally chill and somewhat upbeat to ppl who know him and he just wants to be isabella from animal crossing. I got really off track here. I think what really gets me is their relationship is built on knowing each other so well and so long , and how it’s managed to survive and persist through all this tragedy. They really mutually respect and love each other and that’s why kabu let’s minato walk away from his revolution even tho it compromises everything he works for. It’s why minato ultimently accepts kabus willingness to die for a tanker even tho he really doesn’t get it at all and it means it’s goodbye forever. But it’s still not enough to save either of them. Minato can’t save kabu from trying to passively starving himself to death and I’m not sure if kabu even knows where minato is at mentally. Sometimes no matter how close u are to someone there r things u miss and things u can’t help each other with. Even tho the two resolve to fight and then die together cuz this seems like the best choice Bc the system they were born into offers no alternatives, the deca dence doesn’t even activate without the help of other ppl. I think it shows one relationship cant support all that weight. In the end it is through their bonds with other ppl that gets them to an ending where they both survive when they decided alone their only option is death. Also u are so right about the other animals existing I totally forgot ty I cannot believe I forgot about the scorpion which calls to natsumes hairstyle which is a visual gag on how natsumes a bug and how like a scorpion, although unassuming, and fucking kill u, just like how her trying to get her boss to open up eventually leads to the whole thing toppling down. I also have a lot of thoughts about natsume but I’m still thinking of them and thinking hard Bc sometimes she becomes kabus inspiration Pinterest board and I don’t like that. When she shines she really shines but it starts getting sloppy towards the end so I have to think a lil longer about it. Okay I’m done. Also it’s kinda hard for me to look like I’m agreeing to ur points and nodding in this format but I really appreciate ur thoughts and will try to convey this. Maybe by formatting as a response to each of ur replies next time