#like ive done other semi social things in the meantime ig but i havent hung out w anythjng close 2 a friend in so long
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:c sleeby
#im v tired bc i slept like 3 hrs n i already hav cfs/me n took my antipsychotics way late so theyre still at full strength#n my body is exhausted but i cant go 2 take a nap bc of some dumb sruff#n i rly want 2 actualy do smth but i have absolutelt zero energy for anything n cant even hold my phone up w out support#n theres things i actually need to do like some gardening n sweeping but i jst do not have any energy#n i jst feel lonely bc i wish i could hang out w someone but i dont know anyone rly n i cant go make new friends either bc of synptoms#n i jst wanna have a little alt straightn't friend group ):#esp bc typing is hard w my muscle weakness rn n i have even less coordination than normal#i want to make coffee but it'll make me suffer so bad but i jst like coffee#but im too sleepy 2 manage my symptoms worsening any n will hav a breakdown if they do#why does coffee have to be ouchy juice ;-;#i rly wish i had like friends#i feel so lonely all the time#i havent hung out w anyone since like the end of primary school i think#n it was a rare occurence then 2#like ive done other semi social things in the meantime ig but i havent hung out w anythjng close 2 a friend in so long#n i miss it even tho i never rly had it#dumbass hrs bc i cld probably make friends somewhere but i jst cannot stand myself n being perceived so i cannot <3#i wish rhings were just different n i wasnt so alone all my life#moss.exe#i mean ig there have been abusers but thts not the same u know#like w social things#idk#memory sucks but i jst wish i cld interact w people witjout suffering n distancing myself bc im sure they hate me n dont actually want to#spend time w me and stuff#n i wish i wasnt so fucking ugly so more ppl would like me
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