#even the old series logo where they appeared is gone.

[flash-from-the-past]

Alkirian: The Stone of Fire

[reachingforthevoid]

Doctor Who: Spearhead from Space

I rewatched this serial on 29 January 2023. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen this tale; it was one of the stories selected for what felt like endless repeats in Australia when and where I grew up. I also read the novelisation back in the day. Watching it in order for the first time is revelatory. The sheer amount of change in just four episodes, even as there are features that have become familiar. 

This serial was first aired in January 1970, 53 years ago to the month, and if back then you were lucky enough to have access to a colour television set then you’ll be watching Doctor Who in full colour. The new opening credits and logo take advantage of this massive change in television production and reception. But, it’s disappointing that with the switch to colour we don’t see anyone who isn’t white. 

On the original transmission dates, it's been about half a year since audiences watched the Time Lords pass judgment on the Doctor and sentence him to exile on twentieth century Earth without Jamie or Zoe, and a change of appearance. Audiences would have waited with bated breath as to what this new Doctor would be like… But, before we get to the familiarly oddball amidst all this colourful outside broadcast glory, we get straight into the mysterious ‘meteors’. Keen observers will spot the UNIT insignia on the ties of the man and woman we first meet. It’s not that long before we see the first recognisable face, Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart. The script neatly brings new audiences and old up to date at the same time as briefing UNIT’s newly summoned scientific advisor, Liz Shaw. Her scepticism is priceless. 

Meanwhile, the TARDIS arrives and a man collapses out of it into heather smack bang where the ‘meteors’ are landing. He’s taken to a local hospital, and hilarity ensues. For the first time, the audience learns that the Doctor’s physiology is not human: two hearts, unrecognisable blood, etc. Of course the medical staff think everyone is pranking each other. There’s a wheelchair chase, and the Doctor’s escape from hospital involves him singing in the shower and nicking clothes and a car. Jon Pertwee is the Doctor right away, just as Patrick Troughton inhabited the characters from the get go when he took over. No mean feat given how William Hartnell created the role; an unlikely, irascible old coot of a hero against the stupendous popularity of the Daleks…

Pertwee’s Doctor is a conjurer, a magician who uses science for his tricks. His delight at seeing Lethbridge-Stewart again is a picture. This new Doctor getting on instantly with UNIT’s scientific advisor is such a joy, even as he betrays her confidence. He might look like an old geezer, but he behaves like a naughty schoolboy. His intelligence shines through, as does a love of gadgets and a late 1960s, early 1970s psychedelia-inspired dashing Victoriana. He is what the production team have been building up to for a while.

The story itself is pretty good. The mystery of the meteors that aren’t, a toy factory that’s gone weird, and scary men with a plastic countenance are threatening. This serial is a great model on how to reinvent a series. The shop window dummies coming to deadly life is creepy af, even now. However, for all the changes in appearance, we have mind control bobbins that the Doctor buggers up along with a weird alien force that wants a new home. 

The astute among you may have noticed that I’ve stopped using ‘Dr Who’ and am now using ‘Doctor Who’. I’m following what’s in the credits for the character’s name, except I don’t use the full stop for the abbreviation of doctor because it’s superfluous.

[maxwell-grant]

Captain Fray: The Trash Superman

Look up in the sky! Is it a bird? A plane? No, it’s... an ugly, homeless bald man cackling evily while raining trash on the city with an army of sludge monsters, shortly before getting beaten up by a group of meddling kids. It’s just dumb old Captain Fray again getting foiled by Monica’s Gang, nevermind him. He does that every Tuesday. 

Monica’s Gang are arguably the most iconic of all Brazilian comic book characters, having maintained popularity for 60 years and with unmatched worldwide recognition. They’ve had cartoons, a cinematic universe of films both cartoon and live-action, plays, a long-running manga spin-off that turned them into teenagers, crossovers everywhere ranging from The Big Two’s superheroes to Osamu Tezuka’s properties (as Monica’s creator Mauricio and Tezuka were acquaintances), at least one theme park, and much, much more. Even past Brazil’s borders, where they are a cultural institution on a scale matched only by Disney, these are some of the world’s most popular characters, starring in just about any kind of adventure imaginable and then some. 

However, if you go into the world of Monica’s Gang, and look for a flying man with a chest logo, a cape and impossible superpowers, you’ll instead find their greatest arch-enemy: Captain Fray (actual name Capitão Feio, which translates to Captain Ugly), real name Feioso Araújo. Who will be happy to remind you time and time again of what a rotten, no-good scoundrel he is, even if he has to pick a fight with the Big Blue himself to prove it.

So let’s talk about perhaps the most iconic “caped superhero” of Brazilian comic books, even if he’s ultimately a long, long shot from being one.

Despite the long, worldwide spanning history of the superhero, the idea of the superhero as a cape-wearing uniformed superpowered do-gooder has remained a largely American concept, as different regions have their own unique icons. The titular 4 members of Monica’s Gang have on many occasions taken the role of superheroes, and they’ve built up a massive Rogues Gallery over decades, despite not looking like the usual idea of a superhero. Monica, Jimmy Five, Smudge and Maggy, for the most part, look and act like kids, with odd quirks. 

To briefly describe the 4: Monica is the pudgy, bucktoothed ruler of the group as well as the neighborhood, being super strong and more than willing to hit people who mock her with her stuffed rabbit “Samson”. Jimmy Five has a speech impediment, and he constantly schemes to take Monica’s role as leader, best described at times as a junior Lex Luthor to Monica’s Superman. Maggy is Monica’s friend with an uncontrollable appetite, and the witty and perpetually dirty Smudge is Jimmy Five’s friend and accomplice in schemes. Smudge is defined by his complete and total refusal to take a bath or even come into contact with water under any circumstances, and some stories play up Smudge’s dirtyness to the point of superpower.

It’s Smudge in particular who’s gonna be relevant to this post, because the first time Captain Fray was introduced, he was introduced as Smudge’s good-natured and humorous uncle, a comic book addict surrounded by piles of dusty comics, particularly those of Smudge’s favorite superhero, Captain Pitoco, a sort of Superman/Buzz Lightyear analogue. Eventually, Smudge’s uncle is surrounded by dust, and out of it, he transforms “back” into a former alter-ego, Captain Fray, a megalomaniac supervillain horrified at just how clean the world is, and who decides to sully it as much as possible, flying around the city spreading dirt rays and even transforming the population into pollution-fanatics. Eventually he’s defeated and transformed back into normal, only thinking he had a weird dream. 

Upon subsequent appearences, Fray would acquire things like sludge minions, underground lairs and ever increasing powers (like in the above sequence where he somehow destroys a rainbow and darkens the sky with a single gesture), although he would eventually gain a Kryptonite-esque weakness to water. Captain Fray would go on to become the most reocurring villain of Monica’s Gang for the next 40 years, as the former concept of him being Smudge’s uncle was dropped and he became instead the ruler of an underground race of sludge monsters created by him, who’d occasionally come on to the surface in order to engage in supervillain plots to take over the world and spread dirt and pollution everywhere, sometimes in stories with an environmental angle, and often when the story calls for superhero antics. 

Fray’s got a very standard Grinch/Captain Hook cartoon villain personality, all cackles and snarls and shaking fists at the meddling kids who ruin his plans everytime, proud of being evil and rotten, but never too rotten to the point he betrays the kid-friendly nature of the stories he’s in, nor too rotten that he can’t do something nice for a change like allow his monsters to celebrate Christmas even if it ruins his bad guy image, or begrudingly do a nice thing for Smudge. 

Although for the most part, the “mainline” comics have dropped the angle of Fray being Smudge’s uncle, the two having a particular dynamic has stayed consistent still. Sometimes, Smudge is portrayed as the only member of the Gang who’s got little to no problem with Fray, even welcoming the change of scenery he brings, although he will stick with his friends, as often he’s the only one who’s got no problem being hit by Fray’s dirt rays. While sometimes Fray singles out destroying Smudge so his claim as the dirtiest being in the universe can never be challenged, he is more often depicted as having a soft spot for Smudge, sometimes considering him a pupil or potential successor to inherit his powers, and plenty of times, Smudge has done just that, although inevitably it never sticks, partially because Fray gets jealous or misses his former life, and partially because Smudge gets bored of supervillainy and just wants to go play with his friends again. 

The dynamic between Smudge and Fray has led to a lot of adventures between the two, and it’s something that’s been played up in the aforementioned manga spin-off, Monica Adventures. In it, the cast’s all been aged up to teenagers, and the adventures they get into respectively have taken much more of a shonen manga edge, much darker and weirder than anything the original kid comics could get away with, although not necessarily to it’s benefit, because I could not begin to describe just how much grimdark nonsense is in those, let’s just call it the Monica’s Gang equivalent of Jorge Joestar in terms of lunacy and leave it at that (although, to be clear, even the original “mainline” comics could get very, very weird themselves). Captain Fray has been a mainstay of said manga from the start, going through a series of redesigns, including one where he turns into a bootleg Sephiroth, and one where he tries rebranding himself into a suit-wearing gangster named “Black Dust”, which nobody really takes seriously. 

It’s also granted Fray a backstory: As a kid, when he’d gone to the basement to read comics, his house was buried in a landslide. Afraid of death, he was met with a milipede claiming to serve “The Serpent” (the in-universe stand in for the devil, maybe, just bear with me here), claiming it would protec him so long as it returned the favor someday. He was afterwards transferred to an orphanage, teased by kids over his lack of hygiene and liking for superheroes and nicknamed “Captain Ugly” (again, his name, Fray is just the English translation), with rumors that his touch granted disease. After the orphanage closes, he’s adopted by a nurse and gains a step-brother in Smudge’s dad. 

Years down the line, and Feioso’s managed to acquire a house and make a decent living. He spends a lot of time with his nephew Smudge, teaching him how to build toys out of garbage (a habit of Smudge in the strips) and fly kites and so on. Until one day, in an update of his original story, he’s cleaning his house packed with dusty comics, and a shelf falls atop of him. The millipede from his childhood appears to recollect the debt:

"Your mission is to pollude the Earth...rot it's soil...change it's atmosphere...darken the skies with smoke...so that the sun's rays may never again hit the surface of this planet!

"No! No, please! I-I don't want to hurt anyone!"

"You think you can refuse? You think you have a choice? Do you think you can escape your destiny? Evil does not tolerate weak servants. If you don't fill your end of the bargain, if you don't pay your debt...it will be transferred to the person you love most."

"Smudge? NO!! H-How do you know about my nephew?"

"We know of all that happens. Our eyes...are everywhere."

"Smudge has nothing to do with this. Leave him alone, please...I-I'll do anything you guys want!"

"So be it...Filthy powers will corrode your soul...This is the day of your rebirth! How would you like to be rebaptized?

"The nickname I was given at the orphanage...it's perfect! Captain Ugly strikes again!"

How “canon” the events of Monica Adventures are is a question best left unspoken, since it ultimately doesn’t change anything about the original strips. But regardless of what made Fray who he is, he would spend the following decades in many, many attempts to complete his mission and defeat Monica’s Gang, to be foiled and stopped time and time again by his nephew and his friends, little more than a dumb, cartoon villain there to be smacked again and again, too dumb to quit and too mean to stop. So he was, and so he will always be.

But something interesting’s happened recently with him. As part of the Graphic MSP initiative that’s allowed creators to reinvent the many, many characters of Monica’s Gang for stand-alone graphic novels, Captain Fray’s received one in the form of Capitão Feio: Identidade, which isn’t so much an origin story as it tells the story of a homeless man with no knowledge of his past or where he acquired the superpowers that force him to be on the constant run from society, and it tells the story of how said man eventually became the infamous supervillain, despite his many attempts to be a superhero. 

The comic and it’s sequel, Tormenta, acted more of a proof of concept to test whether or not a serious reimagining of Captain Fray can work, and considering their reception and the newfound love that the Captain seems to have attained in recent years, I’d say they succedeed pretty damn well. He’s ostracized for his appearence, poverty, smell and bad manners, and there’s hardly anything he can do about it because his powers make him a toxic abomination by default. He spends portions of the book trying to create living beings with his powers, and once he succeeds in creating a Godzilla-esque monster to protect him from the authorities, he ends up having to put the monster down, before getting fed up with constant rejection and promptly announcing that, if he’s just gonna be known as an ugly monster by the people, even after he saves them, he’s gonna make it a point to be Captain Ugly Monster, the most rotten supervillain they’ve ever seen. 

The comic constantly grants upon Frey iconography of several of the biggest icons of comic books, from Batman and Superman to AKIRA, playing up not just Frey’s association with comic books but also the fact that he's been mired in that aesthetic from day one. He wanted to be a hero, he wanted to be like Captain Pitoco, and regardless of continuity, all that he ends up as is becoming a gross caricature of a superhero. And still, Frey owns it. He owns his grossness, his rage, his bitterness at everything that he understands to be the opposite of himself, everything clean and good and decent, and he tries time and time again to tear it down, even if he ultimately can never get far enough to accomplish his goals, or lose all of his humanity in the process.

I’ve remarked once that, to many in some regions of South America, the “traditional” superhero does not hold much appeal, and most of the more popular protagonists and icons tend to be outlaws far away from caped antics. Which is why it’s particularly interesting that, not only is the most famous caped superman of Brazilian comic books a villain, but also that, perhaps unintentionally, Fray has undergone the kind of development that most reocurring cartoon villains never get, and one that seems almost poised to last. In a current zeitgest of villain protagonists, it’s successes and failures, I could very easily see Captain Fray becoming the star of a popular film or series, one that takes a look not just at his personality and role, but also at Brazilian culture’s relationship with superheroes and supervillains. Maybe Fray as an anti-hero, trying to make the best of the horrendous powers he’s burdened with, could work.

So long as it’s not revealed that he likes dirt because his mom got pushed off a cliff by cleaning products, I could see it working very well.

[wiypt-writes]

Riding On

CH25- A Series Of Very Fortunate Events

Summary: It’s Fliss’ birthday and Frank pulls off the surprise of the century.

Warnings: Bad language, Smut (NSFW, 18+)

Pairing: Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Fliss Gallagher and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Riding On Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 24

I dunno how you do what you do, I'm so in love with you, it just keeps getting better. I wanna spend the rest of my life, with you by my side, for ever and ever. Every little thing that you do, Baby I'm amazed by you

Fliss gave a start of surprise as two hands grabbed her waist and spun her round.  She laughed as a pair of bright blue eyes, sparkling with love and mischief, met hers, her hands sliding up their owner’s chest to his shoulders, as a warm palm pressed into her back, fingers splaying over the top of her thin camisole. “Happy birthday, Beautiful.” Frank grinned at her and she beamed back, her nails gently scratching at the nape of his neck, tangling in his short hair as he gently swayed them to the soft music which was playing through the speakers in the kitchen.

“Thank you, Sailor.” She smiled as his lips gently pressed to hers, a chuckle flowing from his mouth as he swayed his hips to the gentle rhythm of Otis Redding’s ‘(Sittin’ On) The Dock Of The Bay’. “You know, I had set my alarm a little bit earlier today ” He informed her, spinning them a little across the floor, “planned a little wakeup call plus breakfast in bed. So imagine my slight frustration when it went off and you were already gone.” “Sorry, but I woke up and,” she shrugged giving him an apologetic look, “you know once I’m awake I’m awake.” “I do.” Frank smirked, his hands on her hips gripped a bit tighter as he swayed his own along to the music. “Guess you’ll just have to wait for that particular present, Cowgirl.” She let out a laugh, the hand on his neck tightening a little in his hair as she pulled his head down to hers. “I love you.” “Love you too.” He whispered, his lips catching hers in a deep kiss, tongues sliding gently against one another before Frank pulled back, his forehead pressed to hers. “Can I at least make you breakfast?” “Sure but don’t you need to be getting ready for work?” “Nope.” He shook his head. “Booked the day off.” “Why?” “Well it’s a Friday and your birthday and I wanted to spend it with you.” He shrugged. “I know you’re working but thought I could finish the shelving and what not in the tack room and then we can get everything ready for the guys coming over.” Fliss beamed. “I’m so excited to show them the yard. I know it’s not fully finished but...” she sighed. “I’m really happy with how it’s turned out.” “And you should be.” Frank smiled, his hips swaying to the music. “You’ve put a lot of hard work in. I’m proud of you, Honey.” “We’ve put a lot of hard work in.” She smiled as he revolves them gently on the spot. “Couldn’t have done it without you and everyone else for that matter, Mum, Dad, Joanne, Steve...” “Well,” Frank grinned as he spun her out slightly, pulling her back into him, her back pressed to his chest, her giggle vibrating slightly into his body, “tonight we can fire up the grill as planned, thank everyone properly and have a few drinks to celebrate.” “Sounds good.” She sighed as his lips brushed her neck. “My last lesson finishes at two, I cut them early for the day.” “Perfect.” Frank gently nipped at her skin, his hands splaying over her belly, pulling her back into him. “And just think, this is your last birthday as a Gallagher. You’ll be Mrs. Adler next year.” “Two months.” She rolled her head to the side, allowing Frank to nuzzle into her even more. “I can’t wait.” “Me neither, Baby.” He whispered, his mouth now on her jawline. Eventually his lips found hers and he kissed her again, her head laying back against his shoulder as his right hand started trailing down further, and further, and his fingers had just worked their way into the waistband of her sleep shorts when a soft little whimper, followed by a louder garbled chatter chimed out from the baby monitor. Frank gave a groan, his head sagging forward and his hand moving back up to Fliss hip as she laughed a little, tilting her head to look at the screen where Alex was now pulling himself to a stand using the bars on his crib as leverage. “Cock block.” Frank grumbled as he shot the monitor a look and Fliss stepped out of his embrace, turning to face him. “I’ll go get him, you can start my birthday breakfast.” She smiled, standing on her tip toes to give him a gentle peck. As she padded out of the room, Frank watched her go, eyes firmly trained on her pert ass before he smirked to himself and turned to gather the ingredients for the waffles Fliss had shown him how to make. As he spooned out the flour into the bowl he heard Fliss greeting Alex good morning and their ten month old giving a garbled little response followed by a happy giggle, the one he always gave when he saw Fliss. “Momma’s boy.” Frank scoffed, picking up the baby monitor and pressing the intercom button alongside it. He heard Fliss laugh as she turned to the monitor, sticking her tongue out at the screen, knowing full well he could see and he chuckled, turning back to his task in hand. By the time she appeared after changing Alex’s diaper, Mary had surfaced, Fred hot on her heels, and the kitchen was full of the smell of waffles which sizzled away on the iron. Mary shot over to Fliss, wishing her a happy birthday before she placed Alex in his chair and Frank stepped over to give his son a kiss good morning. He smiled as Alex wound his small hands into his beard, giving a tug before he gently scruffed against the baby’s cheek causing him to shriek in delight. “Think I might try his cup again today.” Fliss pondered for a moment. “He didn’t want his milk after breakfast yesterday as he was full so Mum suggested offering it him alongside, he might be a bit more inclined to take it if he’s doing it himself, what do you think?” “Go for it.” Frank nodded, straightening up. “Don’t worry about it too much though, sweetheart. Mary dropped her morning bottle completely round the time she was his age. He’ll let us know if he’s hungry.” Satisfied with her choice, Fliss sliced up an apple and placed it down on Alex’s tray along with half a lightly toasted piece of bread and a sipping cup half full of formula. Alex immediately went for the apple, jamming it into his mouth making appreciative noises as Frank served their own breakfast of waffles, fruit and syrup up, handing a small piece of waffle to Alex. The baby paused, taking it with a cooing noise and proceeded to look from one hand to the other. “What’s it gonna be, pal?” Frank asked. “It’s a big decision. Apple or waffle?” “Bet you five bucks he goes for the waffle.” Mary grinned and Frank wrinkled his nose. “I dunno, he likes his apples.” “Yeah but waffles are much better.” Mary’s voice was muffled as she shoved a huge fork full into her own mouth and Fliss watched as Alex continued to ponder. In the end he raised both his hands to his mouth, attempting to shove the two items in at the same time. Fliss laughed and gently went to help him out, but no sooner had she done that, Alex had already realised it wasn’t going to work. His fingers still curled round precious apple slice, he dropped the hand holding it to his tray, using the other to shove the waffle piece straight into his mouth, chewing contentedly. “Told ya.” Mary smirked. The kitchen was full of laughter as they ate, and when they had finished and cleared the dishes, Frank and Mary disappeared upstairs coming back with a few gifts held in their arms. Fliss grinned as she took the one Mary handed her first. “That’s from me and Alex.” She nodded as Fliss kissed her cheek and tore off the sparkly blue wrapping paper, her smile growing even bigger as she saw the box which contained a radio mic along with ear pieces. “You said your old one was crap.” Mary grinned, ignoring the pointed look Frank shot at her for her use of the word. Fliss laughed. “Yeah it’s seen better days, everyone says I sound like a Dalek.” “A what?” Mary frowned. “Oh they’re an alien thing from a TV show called ‘Doctor Who’, they talk like broken robots.” Fliss waved her hand. “But this is great. Thank you!” “It’s fully charged and tested.” Mary grinned. “Dad had it on the other night in the garage fixing me a blow by blow description of how he was varnishing the boat. I stopped listening. “No wonder it’s taking you so long to finish.” Fliss smirked at him and Frank arched his brows. “The reason it’s taking me so long is because every spare moment I’ve had recently you’ve put me to work at the yard either building shelving units or painting.” He folded his arms. “You know, I could charge you a fortune.” “I pay you in other ways.” She winked and a Frank snorted as she reached for a smaller wrapped gift. She tore off the wrapper and Frank held his breath a little as she looked at the white leather box emblazoned with the logo of a company he knew she’d recognise. “Did you...” her eyes instantly misted over and Frank nodded as she opened the box with shaking hands. He watched as she studied the item inside before she picked it out to examine it in closer detail. It was a bracelet made out of the hair from Heidi’s tail, wound into a thick, chunky braid, the different shades of chestnut and dark brown perfectly woven together. The claw clasp was silver and there was a small silver horse shoe and heart shaped charms hanging from it, the latter engraved with the words ‘forever in my heart’. “Frank,” she stuttered and he gave her a smile. “You were talking about getting one, did I get the right style?” “Yeah.” She swallowed. “Oh, Sailor it’s perfect.” She leaned over and pressed a kiss to his lips, giving a little sniff as she pulled back. “Can you...?” She handed it to him and then held out her left hand arm and Frank opened the clasp, fastening it around her wrist. She looked at it for a moment before she smiled and wiped her eyes. With a little cough, Fliss cleared her throat as she reached for the final box which was a little bigger and when she opened that one she gave an excited shriek. “You got me a Pivo? How? These are like out of stock constantly!” Her hands trailed the box and she grinned, looking at Frank. “Lucky try.” He shrugged as Fliss opened the box to look at the starter pack. Not for the first time she was overcome with just how much Frank actually listened to the throwaway comments she made. She’d talked about getting one of the smart tracking systems you linked up to your phone for a while, it would make filming her videos for sales and the online blogging and tutorials that she had recently launched on the website so much easier. “Thank you, you’ve spoilt me.” Fliss beamed at Mary and Frank, before she turned to Alex to give him a kiss, and Frank glanced at Mary giving her a wink, both of them fully aware that the gift that was arriving later that afternoon was going to blow her mind.

***** Frank spent most of the morning putting up the shelves as promised, hanging the doors and whatever else he needed to do, whilst Alex was happily entertaining himself in his little pack and play, the air-con in the new large room a godsend as it gave some well needed relief from the sweltering late July heat. Bill and Verity arrived at midday with lunch from their favourite sandwich deli. Fliss beamed when she opened her gift from her parents which was a tripod for her new Pivo plus a year’s subscription to a new editing software app for her MacBook and iPhone. Once they had eaten, Verity offered to take Alex back to the house for his nap, leaving Bill and Frank free to head down to check that the new perimeter fencing had been done properly whilst Fliss carried on with her day's schedule, this time her, Joanne and Mary setting up the Pivo to film a little VLog for their YouTube channel that was linked to the stables. Then at just before two, Frank got the call he’d been waiting for, his big surprise was half an hour away. “I’m a little nervous.” Frank admitted as he and Bill walked back to the yard. “I mean, if she doesn’t like the damned thing when it arrives, I can’t exactly return it.” “Trust me, she’ll love her.” Bill shook his head. “If nothing but because it’s connected to Heidi and it’s something for her to start work with from the ground up. It’s what she’s always loved to do, and she does it well. As this all proves.” Bill waved his hand in the air, gesturing around the land and the various horses as Frank nodded. “Guess we’ll find out soon enough.” He was on edge for the next fifteen or so minutes as he tried to concentrate on a little more painting, but then they heard the rumble of tyres as the truck pulling the transporter trailer wound slowly up the drive. Bill looked at Frank with a grin before he pulled out his phone, no doubt to message Verity, and Frank glanced over to see Fliss had straightened up from where she had been leaning over the laptop at her desk and frowned, her head tipping to one side as she glanced out of the window which overlooked the entrance. “Joanne?” She called and the girl appeared. “Did we book a new client in today that I forgot?” “Nope.” Joanne shook her head. “Who the hell is this then?” Fliss’ frown deepened as she turned and headed out of the room, Frank following with a very excited Mary. As they walked into the courtyard, Frank watched Fliss speaking to the driver as he opened the door and hopped out. He saw the shock register on her face and a small smile played on his own as she stood stock still, blinking at the man who handed her an envelope. With a frown she took it, turning to Frank who merely gave her a puzzled shrug, before she tore open the envelope and her eyes scanned the message inside which Frank had asked them to prepare. There was a delicious moment where Frank saw Fliss’ face washed blank with confusion, like her brain cogs couldn't turn fast enough to take in the information from her wide eyes. Every muscle of her body just froze before a grin crept onto her face, it soon stretched from one side to the other showing every single tooth. This time when she looked at Frank, he smiled back, and she shook her head her own smile not faltering. “You did this?” She managed to stutter out as Bill chuckled, walking to the back of the large transporter to help the man with the ramp. “Well, I had help but yeah, I’ll take the credit for it being my idea.” He wrinkled his nose as Fliss gave a shriek and launched herself at him. Laughing he caught her as her legs wrapped around his waist and she pressed a kiss to his lips. “Thank you. Thank you so much.” She whispered. “But how did you even know I’d been looking at her? I never-“ “Mary.” Frank said simply as her hands slid to cup his face. “You should know by now she never misses a thing.” “Hey, Titch, you gonna let go of Frankie boy for long enough to come meet her or what?” Bill called, and Mary nodded. “Yeah, hurry up Mom, I wanna see her!” Giving him another quick kiss, Fliss moved and Frank dropped her to the floor. She turned, sweeping Mary into a huge hug before she took her hand as they walked to the back of the trailer as the beautiful bay horse was led off. Amazement didn’t quite cover what Fliss was feeling at that point in time as she stood rooted to the spot, observing the animal who stood up tall and glanced round, snorting loudly at the strange surroundings. It was a cacophony of emotions all firing at once and the smile Fliss was displaying on the outside sure as hell couldn't have adequately reflected what she felt inside; like every neurone of her brain was trying to fire in both directions at once - the best kind of paralysis. Simply put, the animal was beautiful. Sleek dark bay with unblemished limbs, two white socks on the hind legs and a blaze very similar to Heidi’s down her dark face. Her mane and tail were shiny black, and whilst the animal had little muscle definition, Fliss new that was down to the fact she hadn’t ever been ridden before having been used as an attempted brood animal. It was clear she had been looked after and cared for as the mare had a sweet eye, it wasn’t looking at anyone suspiciously or worriedly, simply curiously as she spun quickly on the spot, giving a shout which was answered by Cap in the barn, Fliss knew his whinny off by heart. As Cleo turned her pretty head, she glanced straight at Fliss who took a deep breath as shiny, bright brown eyes gazed back at her. At that the horse gave a soft little nicker and there was an explosion in Fliss’ brain... the good sort... the buzz of electricity she had felt when she’d been to view Heidi for the first time. As dramatic as it may have been to admit this out loud, to her it was the calling card of adventure, of paths awaiting both their feet that they could enjoy together. Whatever was ahead could be a great challenge, and there would undoubtedly be tears and frustration, many hours of patience and hard work as there was to be expected with any horse you were backing and teaching from the start, but it was Fliss’ adventure to take. With a gentle breath she stepped forward slowly, towards her new animal and held her hand out, palm up, offering the horse a sniff. “Hey, Cleo.” Fliss spoke gently as her other hand ever so quietly moved to scratch the horse on the wither. “Hi, how you doing, girl?” Frank watched and let the happiness Fliss was exuding soak right into his bones. He felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned to smile at Verity who juggled Alex in her arms as she stood by his side. “You do realise that if you weren’t already, you’ve effectively just become a horse widow before you even get married, right? Backing a horse is gonna take a lot of her time and become an obsession.” She grinned as Frank offered to take his son from her and she obliged. Frank gently turned him and held him to his chest, facing outwards so he could see what was going on.

“I don’t much care.” Frank chuckled as he watched Mary extend her hand out to pat Cleo as the animal rubbed her head against Fliss who reached up to wipe the tears of joy from her eyes. “Look how happy she is.” He took a deep breath, her happiness was infectious and Frank was simply savouring the feeling of sheer pleasure in his system at seeing his girl so full of joy because of something he’d managed to pull off. Simply put, he wanted to still be able to make her feel like that when they were old. Half an hour later the horse in question had been given a quick feed and a drink of water and left to settle in a spare stable. Fliss had then been given a blow by blow account of what Frank, Mary and Bill had dubbed ‘Operation Cleopatra-Comin’ At Ya’ and she thanked them all, once more getting emotional over how much thought and effort had gone into everything so far. Eventually, once Cleo had been turned out into a field with Monty for the evening, they all made their way back to the house, showered and changed ready for the BBQ they were hosting later, Bill and V taking up residence in the guest suite for the night. Frank was already in the kitchen, dressed in jeans and a blue and white checked button down, sleeves rolled up, when Fliss walked in wearing a pale blue sun dress which accentuated her waist and boobs, much to his delight, her Cowboy boots completing the look.

Their friends arrived and there were more gifts exchanged before drinks started to flow and they then made their way to the yard so Fliss could show their friends around. She laughed as she saw that Bill had jokingly put a ribbon over the gate for Fliss to cut, which she did to a few cheers and some sarcastic comments from her brother, one of which earned him a slap round the back of the head from Verity. Frank watched as she showed everyone around, Jake taking particular interest in the state of the art security system that was installed as he said it was similar to the one he was looking at for Lisa’s cake shop. The pride was simply flowing out of Fliss as she talked and explained everything, and Frank loved to see it. A few hours later, it was dark and their back yard was lit up by the various strings of lights and lamps dotted all around, which Frank fake-grumpily liked to point out made their garden look like a Fairy’s grotto. The air was full of chatter, light music and laughter as everyone milled around in the way they always do at parties. After more drinks and the food had been eaten, Fliss said she was going to head up to check on Cleo and Frank hastily offered to go with her, not least because he didn’t want her going alone, but because he wanted to snatch a moment alone for the pair of them. It was a beautiful, clear night. Peaceful and quiet bar the sounds of crickets. The horses, who were in the fields happily settled, all raised their heads as they passed, Cap trotting over to the fence line to greet them. Frank gave him a quick stroke on the nose before they moved down to the next paddock and Fliss ducked under the electric fencing and strode over to check Cleo. Satisfied that nothing was amiss she came back, a smile on her face and they set off back down the path, her hand linked in his. “Thank you.” She broke the comfortable silence a moment or so later.

“What for?” Frank glanced down at her and she let out a contented sigh.

“Everything today. And everything everyday.” She said, her voice laced with happiness. “All my gifts, it just shows how much you actually listen to me...”

“What you mean is I don’t ignore you deliberately as you accuse me of doing?” Frank shot back and Fliss snorted.

“If anything this proves it is deliberate when you do something I don’t like.” She looked at him and he chuckled before shook her head. “I still can’t believe you managed to get a horse here from England.”

“Yeah and basically empties half our savings.” He snorted and she shrugged.

“She’s worth it. I’m impressed, Francis.”

"Well like I said, I had a little help, it was a family affair.”

“I know and I love that Mum and Dad and Steve all chipped in but still, it was your idea.” She smiled. “It’s so thoughtful.”

“Well, you spend enough time thinking about everyone else, making sure we’re all happy,” Frank shrugged, the pleasure lancing through his system at her happiness made him in turn feel contend. “I thought it was time you got something back.”

“You make me happy every day.” Fliss shrugged. “And I’m not saying that just to be sentimental either. It’s a fact. And you know what else is a fact?”

“What?”

“That you’ve now imported as many horses into this county as I have.”

“Guess that makes me the Cowboy to your Cowgirl.” He nodded seriously as they stopped at the end of the path by the large open fronted barn just off the main yard area.

“Yeah? Is there a snake in your boots?”

“There’s one in my pants.” Frank grinned, and she laughed. 

“Is it dangerous?”

“No, but it spits.”

“Frank!” She scoffed, elbowing him in the side as he laughed, looping his arm round her shoulder,  pressing a kiss to her head as he pulled her back into him, his chest flush to her back. “Wanna fuck in the haybarn?” His voice was deep and soft in her ear as his lips dropped to the side of her neck, large hands curling softly over the curve of her hip, the cotton of her dress bunched in his fingers. Her entire body erupted into goose bumps and her belly was in knots, but still it was there, that overwhelming sense of comfort and familiarity that enabled her to laugh softly as she tilted her head to the side to look at him. “Only taken you what? Like three years to suggest that?” "So I'm a little slow.” Frank chuckled as she turned to face him, her hands sliding up his chest. “Well,” she smirked up at him, eyes flashing in the moonlight, “better turn up the speed because they’ll be wondering where we are.” “Fuck ‘em.” Frank shrugged, but still he wasted no time as he hurriedly backed Fliss into the haybarn, the two falling into a pile of it with a giggle. His large hands hiked up the sides of her dress, exposing her panty covered mound as his lips latched to hers in a deep and tantalizing dance. Thick fingers, soft and rough in their own way, played at the hemline of her panties just at the apex of her thighs, a thumb pressing into her clit just over the fabric. As his mouth moved from hers to her jawline, the scruff of his beard giving her that delectable burn she loved so much, a needy rumble vibrated from her throat and chest, Fliss enjoying every bit of pressure Frank offered. Then, a cool breeze touched her wet opening as she realized Frank had moved her panties to the side, an elicit sound escaping her lips as he slipped two fingers inside her. "You know today, I remember thinking that your laugh was the prettiest sound in the world.” Frank’s breath was hot on her ear as his teeth nipped at her neck. “I was wrong, it's your moans." Fliss choked a little on another groan as his fingers curled against her spot, over and over, in a beckoning motion, as if he was motioning her towards him. The heel of his palm pressed up against her clit and she pushed her hips down, rotating them a little as she sought out the friction of his strong but gentle touch. “That what you want?” Frank’s voice was husky, his mouth hovering over hers as she gave a wanton mewl, his hand keeping the same steady pace, forcing her to up his. “You wanna cum on my fingers, huh?” “Yeah, God, Frank...” a hoarse murmur  slipped from her lips as her eyes flickered shut, head tipping back in pleasure. “Jesus, that feels good!” “I got something that’ll feel even better.” He quipped in a low, rough tone that was almost a growl and a grin spread across Fliss’ lips as he slanted his mouth over hers, swallowing the noise of protest she made as he removed fingers from inside her, kneeling up, both his hands flying to his belt buckle. Fliss sat up, wriggling her panties down her legs and over her boots. With a cheeky flick of her eyebrow she tossed them straight at him. Possessing reflexes Fred would be proud of, Frank caught them in his left hand and held them to his face, his eyes locked on hers as he pressed his nose into them, inhaling deeply. “You’re a dirty, little shit, Adler.” She let out a naughty sounding chuckle as Frank stuffed her panties into his back pocket. “Yeah, and you’re filthy, goddamned minx, Gallagher.”  He quipped back, and a matter of seconds later he had his jeans and boxers down over his slim hips. Falling back over her, his mouth pressed back to hers again and he gave a hiss through his teeth as she reached down and grabbed him in her hand. Her fingers curled around his shaft and she gave him a few, quick strokes, before she guided him to where she wanted him. Slowly he pushed into her, the pair of them letting out a shuddered breath before his hips began to move quickly back and forth with fast, shallow thrusts and Frank reached down, large fingers curling over her thigh, hooking her leg up round his waist. His hand moved upwards, bunching the hem of her dress up, stopping as he grabbed at her hip, his other palm flat on the rough, coarse hay bale that they were propped up against. His lips crashed to hers in a desperate, needy kiss. His tongue traced the inside of her mouth as her hands tangled in his hair and she let out a little whimper, tipping her hips up to meet his as his thrusts grew deeper, more powerful, his pace still equally as fast as he drove her nearer and nearer to her high, a broken groan rumbling from his chest as he felt her walls tightening down around him. Fliss’ chest hitched, and her eyes closed momentarily, her mouth falling open as she croaked his name repeatedly, almost in time with his thrusts, a mantra as he watched her face which was contorted in pleasure. “Feels so good, don’t stop.” She mumbled, her hands tangling in his hair as her eyes opened. His forehead pressed to hers, a sheen of sweat covering both their red faces as his hips snapped back and forth, simple, fast ruts. Fliss could feel him, deep inside her, and soon that familiar heat and tingling began to burn between her legs and in the bottom of her belly. Her breathing quickened and then the waves of pleasure washed over her, her back arching as she gave a loud cry her nails digging into his scalp. Frank continued thrusting through her orgasm, and it didn’t take him long to catch up with her. “Fuck, Lissy...” his words cut off and a broken whimper slipped from his mouth as he came with a final deep thrust, his fingers tightening around her waist before he collapsed forward, burying his head against her neck. Fliss could feel herself pulsing around him, the aftershocks of her orgasm still coursing through her body, her walls contracting every so often as they lay still, his dick still twitching inside of her. Leaving a soft kiss to the spot under her neck, Frank pushed himself up and brushed his nose against hers, giving her a soft kiss as she gave a hum of satisfaction, the fingers of one hand gently stroking the nape of his neck, the other brushing up and down his bicep. “We should get back.” She whispered. “We’ve been gone half an hour.” Frank gave a groan but nodded and moved gently away, pulling out of her. He stood up, held his hand out and helped her to her feet, tugging her into him, large hands cupping her face. He kissed her again, deeply and she smiled as he pressed his forehead to hers. “Love you.” His lips pecked hers again, and she chuckled, giving him another kiss. “Love you too.” She beamed, stepping back to sort her hair out. Frank pulled his boxers and jeans up, brushing the remnants of forage and dust off his thighs and shirt before Fliss turned round and he did the same to her, plucking away a few strands of straw and hay that had become tangled in her auburn locks. “Am I presentable?” She asked and Frank nodded. “The evidence of our crime is eradicated.” He nodded, giving her a little smirk before he jerked his head towards the outside. “Erm, you’re forgetting something.” Fliss stopped him. “What?” “My knickers.” She held her hand out, palm opened and Frank gave a teasing frown. “Oh, do I have those?” He asked and she rolled her eyes, his hand falling to her hip. “Yes, so gimme.” Her fingers curled into her palm and back out in a demanding gesture and Frank shrugged. “You threw 'em away, so I think I’ll keep 'em.” “Frank, I can’t go back with nothing on underneath this!” She gestured to the floaty skirt of her knee length sundress and Frank shook his head. “Just don’t bend over and we’re good.” He looked at her with that maddening, cheeky smile, holding out his hand. “Such an asshole.” She scoffed, taking his hand and allowing him to lead her out of the barn. 

 As they walked, she squirmed a little, feeling his release beginning to trickle down her leg and Frank looked at her, a knowing smug expression on his face and she glared at him. “I’m going straight upstairs to clean up.” She grumbled and he laughed, letting go of her hand so he could loop and arm round her shoulders. “That would be rude considering we have guests.” He teased, pulling her close he pressed a kiss to her head as her own arm slipped round his waist, a smile on her face, the sounds of laughter and chatter from their guests drifting to their ears as they neared the farm house. They walked into the back yard through the gates and Fliss smiled at Mary who came running over. “Was she okay?” “Yup, settled in the field with Monty and eating away. He’s a good babysitter.” “That’s so cool!” “Where’s Alex?” Frank asked and Mary looked at him. “Poppa Bill has him.” She said, and Frank glanced around to see the man in question did indeed have their son in his arms, the baby grabbing at his short, grey hair letting out squeals as Bill pretended to bite his little neck. “Hey Mom, are we still going in the pool? Joel and Charlie are exited for night swimming!” “Yeah, in fact I’ll go in and get changed right away.” Fliss smiled, shooting a smug glance at Frank as she has been unwittingly handed a perfect excuse to go and clean up. “Cool!” Mary shot off, passing Bill as he walked over towards them. “Hey Dad!” Fliss smiled, “I’ll be right back, the kids want to go swimming so...” “Yeah okay.” He smiled, handing Alex over to his dad who pressed a kiss to his chubby cheeks. “Oh, Titch?” “Hmm?” She spun round to face him and Bill looked at her then to Frank and back again, his eyebrow raised. “Might wanna pull that hay out of your hair too before you come back down.” Fliss felt her cheeks heat up and her hands hastily moved to the back of her head, pulling a few long strands from her ponytail. She threw an accusatory glance at Frank who simply shrugged. “Guess I missed a bit.” He replied innocently, although he was anything but. He knew full well they were there, but there was that naughty, smug little shit inside of him that had wanted everyone to know they’d just been for a roll in the hay, quite literally. It appealed to his macho, alpha-male masculinity. “Dick.” Fliss scoffed, and as she headed inside his laughter accompanied by her dad’s exasperated chuckle hit her ears. 

**** Chapter 26

[ayuuria]

Yashahime Translation: Animage Magazine September 2020 Issue

Please do not repost this translation without my consent! This includes screenshots of any type and amount. If you wish to share this translation, simply link to this post.

For more information regarding the use of my translations, click here.

This is an old article that was published back in August of 2020, before Yashahime began airing so please keep that in mind as you read this. I never translated this article until now so this is not a reprint or anything like that.

The Half-Demon Girls 2020 autumn SPOTLIGHT!

The feudal and modern era, the fantasy adventure that traverses the two time periods has started once again in the Reiwa period. The curtains will finally rise this fall on the feudal fairytale full of mystery and romanticism spun by three half-demon girls.

“Inuyasha” (original work by Takahashi Rumiko, published in Shōnen Sunday Comics) is an action adventure that was unfolded by a half-demon living in the feudal era named Inuyasha and a modern girl who time traveled to the feudal era named Higurashi Kagome. The anime ran from 2000 – 2004 and the depicts complex, jumbled human drama between humans and demons and the struggle for the Shikon Jewel. “Inuyasha The Final Act” was broadcasted from 2009 – 2010 which concluded the series and brought the curtains to a close.

Continuing that world and depicting a new adventure is “Hanyō no Yashahime”. Living in two different eras while still being twins are Towa and Setsuna, Sesshōmaru’s (Inuyasha’s elder brother) daughters. Then there’s Inuyasha and Kagome’s daughter, Moroha. These three girls who have both human and demon blood are the protagonists of this work. Why did these girls end up moving together? Who is Towa and Setsuna’s mother? Why are the three of them living separately from their parents?... Currently, the full story is wrapped in mystery.

This month, we went directly to Sumisawa Katsuyuki-san who was the series composition writer and script writer for “Inuyasha” and “Inuyasha The Final Act” and now for this current work as well. For the anime staff too, the feelings for the Inuyasha series seems to have strongly taken root even now.

Higurashi Towa Sesshōmaru’s daughter and Setsuna’s elder twin sister. She slipped through time when she was little and was raised as Sōta’s (Kagome’s younger brother) daughter. She tends to get into fights easily.

Setsuna Sesshōmaru’s daughter and Towa’s younger twin sister. However, she does not remember Towa whom she was separated from when they were little. She is a member of the demon slayers headed by Kohaku.

Moroha Inuyasha and Kagome’s daughter who has lived on her own since early childhood. She spends her days slaying demon bounties and takes the alias of “The monster killing Moroha”.

Sesshōmaru’s Two Daughters

Cool and beautiful, the proud and cool-headed Sesshōmaru was a prominently popular character in “Inuyasha”. His daughters, Towa and Setsuna, also have traces of him about them. “Setsuna and Towa strongly inherited Sesshōmaru’s “Yin” and “Yang” respectively. For that purpose, when thinking about their image, Rumiko-sensei also stated, “Please forget about the mother’s existence for now” (Sumisawa)

Behind the Character Creation

The character designs for Towa, Setsuna, and Moroha were done by Takahashi Rumiko-sensei. “At the beginning, Rumiko-sensei told us “I can’t draw a character if I don’t understand them”. The designs depicted here are the result of finally getting the OK after presenting many setting plans from our end.” (Sumisawa)

The Characters of “Inuyasha” Too

Sōta, who is the parent who raises Towa, is a familiar existence to “Inuyasha” fans. In addition, Kohaku, who is the head of the demon slayer group that Setsuna is a part of, is the little brother of Sango who is Inuyasha’s comrade. He was also an important character who held the key to the struggle for the Shikon Jewel. Will other characters from “Inuyasha” make an appearance besides them?

The Feudal Fairytale Going Between Two Eras Series Composition: Sumisawa Katsuyuki

— First, please tell us the details of how this work came about.

Sumisawa: Over 3 years ago, the producer for anime “Inuyasha”, Suwa Michihiko, said to me “I want you to write a continuation for “Inuyasha””. I thought “Goodness, what is this person saying” (laughs). Afterall, “Inuyasha” was concluded. Takahashi Rumiko-sensei is a perfect original creator so there wasn’t a single unanswered thing. I don’t think there are many mangas that conclude so beautifully and properly that it’s deeply moving. On top of that, I wrote the script for the anime called “Inuyasha The Final Act” and brought it to an end myself, so depicting something beyond that is impossible.

— What sort of story direction did Suwa-san come up with?

Sumisawa: When I also asked back “Inuyasha and Kagome don’t have any problems, the Bone Eater’s Well (which connects the modern and feudal era) can no longer be traversed, Naraku was defeated and the Shikon Jewel is gone. What sort of story would we make?” and he responded, “Coming up with (a story) is your job isn’t it” (laughs).

— That is a very unreasonable request (laughs).

Sumisawa: Yes. That’s why I put it on the backburner for over 2 years after that. It’s just that when I was invited to and attended an anime event in Washington D.C, there was a person there cosplaying the Great Dog Demon (Inuyasha and Sesshōmaru’s father). That person said to me “Please hurry and make a sequel to “Inuyasha”!”. It seems that even now, they felt that “Inuyasha” was still a passionate real time work. With that, what I came up with after rethinking “Maybe I can write something with this” was “the story of Sesshōmaru’s daughter”.

— Why Sesshōmaru’s child instead of Inuyasha and Kagome’s child?

Sumisawa: When the work features the child of the protagonist as the main character, the parents steal show when they make an appearance. Even Rumiko-sensei analyzed that “Even if you make it a story about Inuyasha’s son confronting some incident, you can’t surpass the method in which the problem was resolved in the work “Inuyasha”, so it’s impossible”. In that case, I suggested to Rumiko-sensei “If it’s Sesshōmaru’s daughter, it would be a different development”.

— What was Takahashi-san’s reaction when she heard that idea?

Sumisawa: At first, she was unsure like “Hmm” for a long time. It’s only natural. Among the characters that Rumiko-sensei created, Sesshōmaru was a character that she had a strong emotional attachment to. However, she told me “But if it’s Sumisawa-san, it might be doable” and I said, “Please allow me to do this!”. I was grateful that Rumiko-sensei trusted me. I strongly felt that I had to live up to that trust. Actually, I thought of an idea where the setting would be the “modern era” and Sesshōmaru’s daughters would fight demons with Sesshōmaru being mostly uninvolved. However, that didn’t work at all. Now, I’m embarrassed at myself for coming up with that plan.

— That sounds entertaining in it of itself.

Sumisawa: No. First, the atmosphere wouldn’t be serious. Also, if you don’t have the component of going between the feudal and modern eras, it wouldn’t be the “Inuyasha” world. If you only have one (era), it wouldn’t be “a feudal fairytale”.

— Then, how was the title “Hanyō no Yashahime” decided?

Sumisawa: We didn’t really struggle to come up with this title. Rumiko-sensei invented the word "half-demon” (half human and half demon), so “HANYO” is understood overseas. Thus, we purposely put this globally understood word “half-demon” into the title. “Yashahime” is used in other (works) as well, so our aim was to put something in front. The “feudal fairytale” in the logo “Is like what “mobile suit” is to “Gundam”” as Sunrise’s Ogata Naohiro-san put it.

— So it becomes a new feudal fairytale with the half-demon girls as the main characters.

Sumisawa: The thing is, I said earlier that “Inuyasha” was a manga that didn’t leave a single thing unanswered, but actually, there’s a little bit of content that wasn’t shown in the anime. For example, when Rumiko-sensei did a one-time revival of “Inuyasha” for the Great East Japan Earthquake revitalization support project, “Heroes Come Back”. This was published in volume 30 of the “Inuyasha” Wide Edition comics. That and to show “Inuyasha The Final Act” within the episode limit, we ended up not touching some of the episodes (within the manga). So I thought I had to write those in.

— Currently, the two biggest questions fans have been focused on are “Why are Inuyasha, Kagome, and Sesshōmaru not raising their children?” and “Who is Sesshōmaru’s wife?”

Sumisawa:

Yes. I can’t answer that here, but under Takahashi Rumiko-sensei’s supervision, there’s no way we would leave out those very important topics. Of course, these are properly shown in the main story so look forward to seeing it. Please be at ease.

[gh0sture]

Under the Sea

Trafalgar Law x gn!reader

Part 2, Meet the gang

You've never been particularly good at meeting new people or making good first impressions for that matter but this, by far, has to be your worst one yet. Your clothes are soaked still, your hair a sticky mess from the saltwater and your mouth is opening and closing lika a fish gasping for air as it flaps around on a bridge after being caught. It's not one of your best looks you'll admit but it is all you can offer at the moment given the circumstances.

You try to form coherent thoughts, you really do, but this is just way too much for you to take in. He reaches a hand out and you flinch before grabbing it to make an awkward shake.

This isn't just insane. This is completely knock-your-socks-off bonkers.

You feel as if you were looking at the golden gates of heaven themselves, not daring to look him in the eyes out of fear that you might go blind from the sheer radiance of his aura meanwhile the man in question just looked at you blankly. Possibly with a hint of disgust. Definitely a bit of disgust.

"The name's Trafalgar Law, captain of Polar tang" his handshake is firm and he looks at you expectantly while retrieving his hand and crossing his arms over his chest.

Neither of you say anything. He clears his throat but you give no reaction. Still staring at him like a five year old looking at a blackboard of university level algebra equations. He grimaces slightly at your behavior.

"Are you ok? I don't remember finding any trauma to your head, you should be fine" he grabs your chin and tilts your head around to inspect it disapprovingly in search of an injury. Although, he is an expert doctor so he would never miss any injuries, his pride wouldn't let him. This does nothing to soothe your symptoms though and doesn't exactly help with calming your heartbeat at all.

"I wouldn't have missed anything what's wrong with you" he mutters to himself when you finally managed to collect yourself enough to remove his hands.

"uhh no! no, i'm ok! thank you for ,uh, saving me by the way" this is the best and worst thing that have ever happened to you.

"it wasn't my choice" he deadpanned and turn back into the room to get a den-den mushi with a familiar penguin hat on it. Its so strange seeing on in real life. Although, you don't know if this is real life (is it just fantasy?). He proceeds to make a phone call (mushi-call? den-den call?) into it while you shift awkwardly on your feet in the hallway. Your feet ache from walking on the metal grid barefoot you had barely noticed until now. After exchanging a few words he walk over to the desk where he'd previously  been sitting and open a journal, presumably to continue doing whatever he did before.

"One of my crew members will be here shortly to get you settled for now and give you some necessities. We reach a port in nine days where you can leave." his voice was calm and composed, like pouring molten chocolate into your ears even though the words themselves were less than pleasant. When he spoke you could feel your knees get weak and you feel tempted to ask him a question for the sole purpose of hearing him speak more. God this man was hot. You nodded at his statement at first, not really paying attention to what he had actually said until you realized that nothing he said had been actually registered in your head.

"Wait, what?" you asked. He doesn't look up from his writing but you can hear the mild annoyance in his voice when he answers.

"Looking at you, you are rather ill equipped for staying here until we reach a populated island. Since you don't have any money or anything valuable, my crew will provide for you until we reach the port where you can find another ship to go back wherever you came from...Whatever weird country that's supposed to be...Now go down the hallway, He should be there already to help you so leave me alone" you get the feeling that you'll loose a limb if you stick around longer so you turn to head down the hallway and find "Him" who you hoped would be more polite.

"Not that way" you hear from the study and you turn around to head down the other way, somewhat (very) embarrassed.

You really wished that your first time meeting a celebrity would've gone better, but then again they do say that you should never meet your heroes. Was he always this rude in the series and book? Sure he came across as a bit of a tsundere but he seemed at least approachable in the series. You don't have the charisma or extroverted superpowers that Luffy have so that is probably an important thing to consider. As you head down the hallway you come across a man walking in your direction pretty soon. He seem far more ok with your existence and even appear to lit up a bit when he sees you and give you a friendly wave. This is already going a lot better than last time.

"Yo! You're the one we found floating around yesterday! Nice to meet you, people around here call me Penguin" He gives you a wide yet genuine smile as he grab your hand and shake it enthusiastically before you even have the chance to reach out.

"thought you were a goner when we found you haha!So it's good to see that you're up n' about, c'mon let me show you a round!" he turn around to walk from where he had just come from while you follow behind him silently.

Penguin makes it his personal responsibility to keep a conversation going even if it's pretty one-sided but it's nice. Comforting even, as he went on about how nice the other crewmembers are with the exception of the captain but you shouldn't take what he says too personal as he's a bit misunderstood. He  ask you different questions like your name, where you came from, complimenting you on your weird clothes, although it feels like that was mostly him being polite and you didn't have heart or energy to tell him that you're wearing PJ's. He doesn't mind your short answers and seems satisfied with the information he's able to divulge. To be fair you aren't sure how to answer since you don't know how you ended up here but also out of fear of ripping the space-time continuum open by telling him forbidden knowledge about his universe. It would be rather awkward explaining to him that you know a lot about them and what they've done/are about to do. You've technically stalked them through tv and books and if someone told you that they've been watching you, you would freak out. Rightfully so too. They might even think that you're a navy spy sent to gather information action for their arrest and they could kill you. Yeah, this is a mess and a half but you'll burn this bridge when you get to it. You did tell him your name though and he doesn't seem to suspect you working for some nefarious organization so all is well.

He showed you where the important places in the submarine was such as the kitchen, living quarters, rec area and bathrooms. You still have trouble telling up from down will undoubtedly get lost but he assures you that after a while you'll know this maze like the back of your hand. After leaving the living quarters he guides you to the top deck to find someone else he says will help you so that he can get back to work.

The yellow ship had surfaced at a deserted summer island and everyone was outside enjoying the sun after spending several days in the dark of the ocean. You hadn't been down in the submarine for that long , at least not while being conscious, and was already getting a bit unnerved over how cold and cramped it was. As soon as the warm rays of light hit you both the cold and your worries melt away.

"Hey Ikkaku! You have to help the drifter get some clothes!" He yelled at a woman laying in a sun-chair on the deck with her eyes closed. The familiar heart pirates uniform was open to reveal a green tank top and an orange and yellow striped hat was laying beside her.

"Haah!? Why do I have to do it?" She sat up to glare at Penguin and was about to protest when she spotted you behind him. One second you were hiding behind Penguin and the next you're face to face with a very pretty woman with very poofy hair. Her glorious lion name bounces a bit as she hold up both your hands in hers and lean over a bit to stare into your eyes. Everyone is so tall here why is everyone so ridiculously tall. Anime proportions are wild.

"Oh my god!! We were so worried about you, we thought you were dead when we found you!" You felt uncomfortable with her being so close to your face and politely thanked her for saving you while doing your best to avoid eye contact.

"Oi! Where's your manners! They've been through a lot being stranded in the ocean have some respect!" He bops her on the head and she lets you go to tell him off (and/or punch him back) but she remembers the shiny new toy in front of her and settles for staring daggers at him instead.

"Oh shut yer trap" She stares at you intensely as if to make sure you wouldn't run away or vanish into thin air. It's kind of nice being fawned over like this, and clearly the crew enjoy having a visitor.

"It's so nice having a fresh face around, It's been years since Captain let anyone new stay onboard  and being stuck with all the same jerks weeks on end gets a bit tiring you know. Now come on and let's go find you some proper clothes!" She grab your hand to drag you along back into the dark,dark depths of the submarine.

Oh joy. more cold, feet grating and claustrophobia.

"You're a bit smaller than everyone so we should probably ask Uni to sow it in for you if it's way too big" She says more to herself rather than you while handing you the classical white uniform with the heart pirates logo on the chest over your heart.

The woman who's name you had learned to be Ikkaku turn around and continued rummaging around the small closet in front of her in search of more clothes for you while you change into the white uniform when she isn't looking. It feels incredible to finally get out of those damp and sticky clothes and into something soft and warm instead. You are also the proud owner of a pair of fuzzy socks and black boots. Your poor abused feet are overjoyed that they no longer have to walk the metal grid of a thousand needles. Life is good.

"Once we get to the port of Pellar island you can probably trade your way to some more clothes but this should be fine for now"

In the little time you had spent with her you had learned quite the few things about the crew on the ship. For starters there were 21 members in the crew (including the captain), You were lucky number 22 according to Ikkaku, even though you aren't a part of the crew it's apparently better to have an even number of people aboard the ship. And hearing the stories of what they've been through it seems like you're their new rabbits foot. Since you're considered baggage or fancy cargo rather than someone useful she gives you some times on how to stay out the way, especially out if the captains way which you feel is probably a wise decision but you offer your help should she need it in the kitchen which she greatly appreciates. You hate feeling useless.

You can't help but wonder where you are in the Once Piece timeline as you rolled up the long sleeves of the uniform on your arms and legs for comfort. Had Luffy and Law already formed the alliance? Were you before the timeskip and the incident at Marine Ford? Maybe you were even ahead of the manga and anime itself in a future arc even. You were snapped out of your thoughts when Ikkaku pushed a bundle of toiletries into your arms involving a towel, a toothbrush, and a bar of soap.

"We haven't figured out where you'll sleep for the moment but it'll work out soon enough. Otherwise you can just sleep in a spare bed in the infirmary but come help me gather food from the island! We don't want to get scurvy while we're submerged!" She drag you away towards the deck after leaving your things in her room for safe keeping for now.

This woman is going to pull your arm off.

She seemed very sweet but all the touching and stereotypical anime arm-pulling is weird since you have literally just met. The way she smiles while asking you about your favourite foods and how she excitedly plan different recipes out loud make you almost forgive her though. Almost.

You move sluggishly towards Ikkaku's room to get the only material items you currently own in this world. Foraging for fruits and herb until nightfall was tiring but at least you didn't have to carry that much stuff, a guy with a black pompadour haircut had come along to help carry the crates of stuff you and Ikkaku gathered. He seemed very nice too, somewhat cocky though. You had asked Ikkaku for information on a certain Straw-hat pirate while making small talk and have come to the conclusion that he probably hasn't even started his adventure towards becoming the Pirate King yet. She didn't know who you were referring to and was even showed some seagull newspaper from their library but no info of the gummy monkey man could be found whatsoever. Since you recall him making news very early on in his "career" it's fair to assume that he hasn't gotten up to his mischief yet.

It feels a bit weird to be honest. To be in the prologue of the story like this and you have no idea what kind of things anyone other than the Strawhats and Luffy had been up to since the story followed them, maybe some vague details about Law's past and fragments from some characters backstories but this is all uncharted territory. Your thoughts are interrupted as you suddenly bump into someone and fell backwards. You reach your arms out like a bad imitation of a seagull in attempt to grab the wall but someone grabs you before you manage to take hold of anything. Your grab their shoulders to steady yourself and let go once you're back on your feet but they don't remove their hands from you. You look up to thank them for catching you when all the colour drains from your face and you realize who you're standing prom-slow-dance proximity to. It is but the one and only person you'd least want to embarrass yourself in front of. Again.

"Do you have a death wish or are you just plain stupid 22-ya" He looked down at you with what you assume to be the ghost of an amused smile or slight disgust. Probably disgust. Again. while you're distracted by his closeness and the humiliating event that is currently taking place. It could be much worse though, right? you can salvage this situation probably.

"Crap, sorry I was just zoned out.." You tried looking anywhere but his oh-so-handsome face to avoid you making this anymore awkward than it already was. You are not immune against handsome people after all. You tried moving away from him slightly but his hands stayed firm on your shoulders and could feel his gaze on you like needle pricks on your skin. you definitely do not dare looking him in the eye.

"You have to look where you're going or you might get seriously hurt next time" He mused. He may be attractive but he's definitely a jerk.

"It's impossible to see down here it's so dark..." you mutter under your breath and quickly move to side to walk past him, he let's go this time rejoice that your attempt to escape the harassing captain is successful, desperate to get away from this weird atmosphere you have created. Unfortunately for you, the universe have other plans  as he start walking behind you in the same direction you are and boy, is it awkward.

After a bit of walking you start to get a bit suspicious though. Was he following you around, waiting for you to get lost so that he could make a smartass comment about it? He is the kind of person who would find great amusement in petty bullshit like that for sure but then again you do have a tendency of assuming the worst in every situation. You decide to test this theory out by steeping to the side and make as much room as you could in the hallway and drop down to pretend fixing your shoelace. Instead of trying to walk past you he stops completely right behind you. You move as slow as you can without arising suspicion but he so kindly wait patiently behind you. When you're done "tying your shoelace" and stand up to continue your journey he follows close behind.

Oh hell no.

You can handle rudeness but this is some psychological warfare or foul play that you want no part of. No matter how handsome the guy is you will not stand for this kind of fuckery. You make a sudden halt and quickly turn around to kindly tell him to fuck off.

"Do you need something from me?" you ask with as much calm you can currently muster, irritation building up behind your customer service smile but he doesn't say anything and only look at you with the same dumb face as before. Almost like he's sizing you up before a fight. Possibly with even more disgust this time.

This Motherfucker.

When he still doesn't say anything for several seconds you just decide to be the bigger person and turn around to start walking again. Of course, with him still following you. It's better to just ignore him and he'll go away, you know where you're going. You finally reached Ikkaku's room and gather up the few items that belong to you when he finally speak up.

"You don't have a room assigned yet right?" You gave him a somewhat puzzled look. That's what he needed to know? That is why he followed you?? To ask you this???

"No? why?" You admit cautiously, almost preparing for him to start fighting you or using his power to "confiscate" one of your organs. For a brief second you could've sworn you saw a mischievous glint in his eyes you know that something bad is brewing. The cogs of evil are turning in his mind and you know that whatever comes out of his mouth next will undoubtedly mean bad news for you.

"I have an idea"

[naminethewriter]

An Unexpected Meeting and a Few Surprises

Part 1 of the Remus and His Daughter Series       Next➡

Here on Ao3 

Characters: Patton, Remus, Original Female Child Character

Relationships: Past Patton/Remus

Rating: T

Words: 1,548

Summary:  Remus vanished 5 years ago after doing something really hurtful to Patton. Now suddenly Patton comes across him again and he doesn't know how to react. Especially since Remus has unexpected company...

Patton liked to take a stroll through the mall after closing shop for the day. Virgil rarely accompanied him on these walks because while the crowd and loud atmosphere was kind of calming to Patton, for Virgil it was the complete opposite. So unless he had some business within the mall to take care of, he chose the shorter route back to their apartment complex. Patton didn’t mind that his path took a bit longer, on the contrary. Doing a bit of window shopping after a stressful day helped him relax. Plus he would pass the animal shelter this way and he loved stopping by there, even if he couldn’t take care of the pets himself. Curse his allergies!

Patton was leisurely walking along the row of shops, letting his eyes wander and trying to remember if he needed to get any groceries when his eyes fell on someone he hadn’t seen in years. Frozen in his tracks, he couldn’t help but stare at Remus Prince. He hadn’t seen the man since he disappeared 5 years ago but it wasn’t hard to recognize him. For one, Patton lived with his twin brother Roman and the resemblance between the two was still as uncanny as it’s always been. But even aside from that Remus doesn’t appear to have changed that much at all. His style was still a bit punk, with his ripped black jeans and bright green t-shirt, probably with the logo of some metal band on the front (but he was too far away for Patton to say for sure). It was to confirm from this distance, but he was pretty sure Remus had a few more tattoos on his still very muscular arms that he held crossed over his chest while leaning against a wall. He looked so relaxed, like he didn’t have a care in the world. Patton could also see the piercings in Remus’ ears gleam in the artificial light and his signature moustache still remained above his upper lip. He seemed to be watching something further up ahead that Patton couldn’t quite see from his spot, Remus’ eyes never straying. This, for the Remus Patton knew, seemed quite strange.

 Patton remained glued to his spot, watching, unsure of what to do. With most old acquaintances, he’d go over and say hi but Remus… Remus was different. Remus was his ex.

 Granted they didn’t go out all that long, barely 3 months and they had been friends for years before that. But their break-up did not only cause Remus to drop out of college but he also broke off all contact with pretty much everyone they knew. Even with his best friend Janus. And since Roman was his only relative he still spoke to, none of them knew how to find him. Not that they tried all that hard.

 See, the reason that Patton and Remus broke up was that Patton hadn’t been ready to be more… intimate with Remus who proceeded to dump him after trying to convince him for a week. Remus basically admitted that he only went out with Patton because he knew it would annoy his brother but that that wasn’t really worth it if he couldn’t even have sex with him. Needless to say, Roman had been furious; almost going as far as having a physical fight with his brother and Patton was left heartbroken. (Ok, that was an exaggeration. In retrospect Patton understood that he himself had never actually loved Remus, but misinterpreted his feelings of empathy as affection. But that was a different problem).

 After that Remus disappeared. Which wasn’t all that unusual, really. He had a habit of wandering off, skipping classes and not contacting anyone for days at a time only to suddenly reappear as if nothing happened with increasingly wild stories to go along with it. On rare occasions, Janus would be with him but his take on such events were even more unbelievable than Remus’.

 So it wasn’t until almost two weeks later that Janus got actually worried. His concern fell on deaf ears however, Patton didn’t really want to see Remus again that soon, Roman was still very mad (and proclaimed so loudly), Logan was stressing over assignments and papers so he spared little attention for anything else and Virgil, who used to be a lot closer with Janus and Remus in high school, had seen his extortion of Patton’s feelings for him as going way too far. So Janus went looking for Remus on his own and after a few days of digging he found out that Remus dropped out of college two days after the break-up and left his apartment vacant the day after that. Most likely he’d left town. To go where? No one knew.

 Even with that information, only Logan showed some actual concern. Roman waved it off, comparing his brother to a cockroach and saying that he would be back to bother them soon enough. Janus refused to talk to any of them but Logan for a month after that and their contact with him decreased slowly over the years. Nowadays only Logan still had semi-regular contact with him.

 Remus remained gone. For 5 years no one had seen a single hair from him. And now Patton had been staring at him for what felt like hours but could only have been a few minutes at most. In all that time Remus eyes have not wavered for a second, still looking at something Patton couldn’t see, a soft smile on his lips that seemed so out-of-place on the familiar face.

 Before Patton could panic any more about what to do, Remus finally moved. Patton watched him move away from the wall a few steps, uncrossing his arms in the process. Then, to Patton’s total surprise, he crouched down to greet a little girl that had run up to him. She couldn’t be older than 10, her brown hair pulled up into a ponytail and an ice cream cone in her hand. She and Remus talked, but they were too far away and their surroundings were too loud for Patton to hear them. The girl was smiling, jumping up and down slightly in excitement while Remus had an unmistakably fond look on his face.

 Patton couldn’t believe his eyes. Not once in all the years he’d known Remus Prince had he witnessed him making that kind of expression. While Patton was flabbergasted, Remus stood back up. The girl seemed to pout, lifting her arms up toward him. Remus laughed but proceeded to pick her up, holding her to his side with one arm. While the girl did appear to be a bit thin, Patton was still kind of impressed with how effortless Remus made it seem.

 Now, with the girl securely in his arms and enjoying her ice cream, Remus let his gaze drift over the crowd, his mouth moving, probably still talking to the child. Before Patton could even think about moving out of his line of sight, their eyes met.

 Time stopped for Patton. His anxiety was screaming at him to turn around and leave as quickly as possible but his feet wouldn’t cooperate. To him it felt like they were staring at each other for an eternity and suddenly he could understand all those deer caught in the headlights. The spell, or whatever that was, was broken when Remus suddenly turned his head away. When Patton himself moved his gaze to see what had caught his attention, he was met with another pair of eyes staring at him.

 The girl on Remus’ arm had noticed him, too, and had probably asked Remus about him. Patton, not wanting to seem like a creepy stalker, put a smile on his face and gave them a little wave. Immediately the girl frowned. Startled, Patton lowered his arm again. Remus glanced back at him for a second before his surprised expression was replaced by a smile that seemed a bit more reminiscent of the Remus Patton knew, with a hint of mischief on his lips. Remus chuckled before saying something to the girl. She finally stopped staring at Patton who let out a relieved breath, since when had he been holding it?! to look at Remus instead, apparently answering him. Remus nodded at her in return. She looked back to Patton with a more thoughtful look. After looking him over one more time, she gave him a small, shaky smile and waved back.

 Before Patton could react, she turned away (at least as much as she could on Remus’ arm) and concentrated on her ice cream. Remus chuckled again. Then he met Patton’s eyes one more time and gave him a quick two-finger salute before disappearing into the crowd in the opposite direction.

 Patton remained in his spot for several more moments, still processing the events of the last few minutes. A few things were clear:

 1.  Remus Prince was back in town.

 2.  He was accompanied by a small girl.

 3.  They seemed to be unusually close.

 4.  He knew Patton had seen him.

 How in the world was he supposed to explain all that to Roman?!?

 With a quite groan, Patton continued on his way home. He did not stop by the animal shelter that day.

[aion-rsa]

Josie and The Pussycats is the Spinoff Riverdale Deserves

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

This RIVERDALE review contains spoilers.

Riverdale Season 5 Episode 15

“Our story is about three young women bursting with talent.”

When last we saw Josie McCoy (Ashleigh Murray), she was in New York City trying to make her dreams come true on the ill-fated (and gone-too-soon) Riverdale spin-off Katy Keene. Often when characters are spun-off and their subsequent shows fail, they vanish into the pop culture ether — The Ropers from Three’s Company being the textbook case of this phenomenon. But not so for Josie. This latest episode debuts a new iteration of the character, one who has achieved her dreams but still finds herself wanting more. It is a decidedly more mature take on the previously underwritten character, and one that allows Murray’s considerable acting and musical abilities to shine.

In short, it is the Josie that fans have always wanted to see.

But what good is the character without the backing of her Pussycats? Drummer Melody Valentine (Asha Bromfield) and multi-instrumentalist Valerie Brown (Hayley Law) have been estranged from Josie since she blew off the Pussycats for a solo career when they were in high school. Seven years later and the wounds are still raw, even though Melody has since become a renowned author with movie rights optioned by Tyler Perry, and Valerie is a talented artist and actress.

When Josie returns to Riverdale to take stock following the sudden death of her father, she finds herself coming to terms with her past. More than that though, she has found her voice in every sense of the word. She dismisses Mr. Lodge, the show’s big bad in a hilarious kiss off that sums up many viewers’ opinions on the often irksome character. Better still, the episode allows her to get meta to discuss how Riverdale often sidelined the Josie character in her previous iteration on the series. “I didn’t have much to say in old times,” she plaintively declares, commenting on the problem that Riverdale had with diversity in its early seasons. She then accurately dismisses Archie, Betty, Veronica and Jughead not as old friends but as acquaintances. It’s a bold and surprising scene that takes responsibility for past sins that the series committed, further illustrating that it is aware that it can do better and has been attempting to do so.

After a steamy reunion with old flame Sweet Pea (Jordan Connor), Josie begins the work of reaching out to Valerie and Melody. It is here that the episode goes from great to an all-timer. The chemistry that Murray, Bromfield and Law possess is lightning in a bottle. As old injustices are aired and attempts to repair wounded hearts and egos are undertaken, these actresses embody the old friends they portray fully. But this backdoor pilot, fortunately, has zero interest in having its women of color tear each other down. The characters candidly discuss their shared past, and begin to repair the rift that will — if The Pussycats goes to series — lead them to becoming the global superstars they are destined to be.

Josie, Melody and Valerie are icons. They know it, and the world will soon follow.

Inspired by her renewed friendship with her once and future bandmates, Josie decides to do a concert with the Pussycats that will raise money to help reincorporate the town of Riverdale. It is a performance that highlights each of the women’s musical strengths, even if Josie does steal the spotlight for an emotional rendition of Nina Simone’s “Stars.” Despite being cut short when Toni goes into labor, the concert is enough of a success for The Pussycats to agree to go on the road together — playing in towns where Josie’s late father wanted his ashes scattered. The women consider themselves to be equals now, thus the “Josie and” is jettisoned from the band name. This still being Riverdale, a friend of Josie’s dad appears moments before she leaves town to tell her that her father may have been murdered in New Orleans, and that voodoo might be involved.

With this incredible/ridiculous plot development thrown at us, the full image of what The Pussycats will be as a series comes into view: A mixture of Fame and 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo that celebrates these characters and their comic/cartoon legacy in an unexpected way. (As an Archie comics historian even I was taken off guard by the last-minute introduction of the potential show’s mystery angle, and my mind reels at the possibilities).

Hopefully sooner rather than later a series order for The Pussycats will be announced. There is so much potential here to tell exciting, fun, music-packed stories featuring strong women of color that it feels like a surefire hit. “The Return of the Pussycats” is not only the best episode of Riverdale this season, but a perfect pilot episode. There desperately needs to be lots more long tails and ears for hats in our future, for these are the Pussycats we’ve been waiting for.

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Riverdale Rundown

While nothing has been officially announced as of yet, it feels ridiculous for The CW to not do a full series of The Pussycats, yes? This logo appearing at the end of the episode instead of the usual Riverdale bumper bodes well for things to come. Fingers crossed…

My guess is that this episode didn’t have Alexandra and Josie cross paths due to their Katy Keene past, which had the characters begin as enemies who were slowly forming a friendship before that series was cancelled. By not having them interact, the writers didn’t have to figure out where their relationship currently is — making this a narrative thread that The Pussycats could potentially pull on down the line.

The character of Alan M. briefly appears as Melody’s love interest, which indeed he is in the comics and fondly remembered 2001 movie.

Speaking of the Josie and the Pussycats movie, that film’s ever-growing cult continues to delight me. Thanks to multiverses, there’s no reason why that version of these characters and the ones of The Pussycats can’t co-exist in the same pop culture landscape.

Let’s give a special shoutout to Robin Givens, who not only reprises her role as Sierra McCoy here but also did a terrific job directing this installment.

Melody narrates this episode a la Jughead, except that her writing is bright and full of hope, a sharp and intentional contrast to her brooding counterpoint.

If you didn’t cheer when Josie and the Pussycats took the stage to their cartoon theme song, you are dead inside.

“Entertainment Tomorrow” enters the Riverdale fake product lexicon in this episode (which also includes the returning chestnut “Vanity Flair”).

Toni gives birth to a boy, Anthony.

Expect to see more about the franchising of Pop’s in upcoming restaurants, and Tabitha’s speech about the importance of the Chok’lit Shoppe being a black-owned restaurant in a time when Riverdale had no other such establishments was one of the most powerful scenes this series has ever done.

It’s worth noting that a franchise for real-life Archie restaurants did exist in the early 1970s. However the idea never really took off, and pictures of the three diners that were opened have never surfaced online.

What the hell was up with the Old Navy product placement in this episode, which felt like it was ripped from the Josie and the Pussycats movie, minus the irony.

Kevin’s dancing during the Little Shop of Horrors musical number was, unsurprisingly, everything.

Melody’s book being named Summer Storm is a sly reference to actress Asha Bromfield having a newly released novel called Hurricane Summer that was released in May.

Josie uses the alias Ms. Newmar to check into hotels. Julie Newmar famously portrayed Catwoman on the Batman TV series, which not only plays into Josie’s feline motif, but also is yet another of the show’s near-constant DC Comics references of late.

Mr. Lodge being called a “little bitch” was so unbelievably pleasing to watch. Josie is just SO OVER Riverdale’s bullshit.

In a nice character moment, Cheryl immediately leaps into action to help deliver ex-lover Toni’s baby.

Dr. Curdle Jr. being a Josie and the Pussycats superfan is comedic brilliance (as is the fact that nobody trusts him enough to have him anywhere near Toni’s delivery.

The post Josie and The Pussycats is the Spinoff Riverdale Deserves appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3BQYwym

[clowns-or-midgets-spn]

I just posted my first (non series) one-shot. It’s called A Day In The Life and it’s a fun humor-filled glimpse in Peter’s life with The Avengers aided by the wonderful prompt from @snarky-drabbles​ https://archiveofourown.org/works/27243052

“Don’t be nice to Dum-E,” Tony Stark said seriously. “He tried to poison me again.”

Peter's face fell as the robot made a small, sad beeping sound.

“Awww, were you trying to help?" Peter asked, and the robot nodded. "Engine oil smoothie again?"

“Yes,” Tony Stark said darkly. “And I wasn’t paying attention, so I actually drank some.”

Peter stifled a laugh and addressed the robot. “I know you were doing your best. Don’t listen to him.”

“Like they ever do,” Tony Stark snorted.

Ned hitched his backpack higher on his shoulder then hurried his pace as Peter was getting away from him.

As excited as he was to be doing this, as hyped and inarticulate he’d gotten when Peter had said it was all arranged, he was freaking out in the bad way now.

They were supposed to be making a short film for media studies, and Peter had stumbled on the idea of doing a day in the life of Tony Stark. Sure, that was great on paper, and Ned had maybe peed a little when Peter said it was happening, but now they were on their way to Avengers Tower to spend a whole day with Tony Stark, and he wasn't sure his heart could take the strain. This was a feeling way beyond excitement or nerves—it was a heady combination of the two with an extra dose of how-the-hell-is-this-real spinning in him until he felt nauseous.

Peter, on the other hand, was acting like this was just a regular day. Sure, Ned knew he had his internship with Tony Stark, and he had his internship, which involved swinging around Queens in a suit designed by Tony Stark, but how was he not losing his mind? They were going to be in Avengers Tower, with Tony Stark for a whole day, or at least as long as it took to make the film.

Ned really didn’t think he was going to make it through the day without passing out.

They reached the sliding glass doors of the tower, and Peter strode through them without missing a step. Ned, on the other hand, hesitated and wiped a hand over his mouth in case there were still crumbs from the breakfast bagel he'd eaten on the way here. He thought there was probably enough chance of them—or him—getting kicked out before they made it past the lobby, even if he wasn't wearing half of his breakfast on his chin.

“Ned, come on, dude,” Peter called, looking back over his shoulder.

Ned took a breath, braced himself to be thrown out by security, and walked through the doors. The lobby he found himself in was vast. The floors were grey-veined marble on which the heels of the men and women walking around clicked. There was a polished wood reception desk behind which sat three women and a man with telephone headsets which they were talking into. In the center of them was a matronly looking woman with steel-grey hair pulled back in a bun. She had the look of someone that took her job seriously, and Ned thought he could see the cogs turning behind her eyes when she looked at him, processing his appearance and deciding which security officer to summon to kick him out.

“Hey, Juliet,” Peter called cheerfully.

The woman's professional manner dropped at once and became more of an overindulgent grandma as she fixed her eyes on Peter and said, “Peter dear, how are you? I’ve not seen you for two weeks! Where have you been?”

"We've been doing lab time at the compound," Peter said. "I missed you, though. How's Sophie and Richie?"

"Oh, they're fine," she said, beaming at him. "Richie is cutting a new tooth, but it's not getting him down, and Sophie is practicing for her Christmas dance recital at school." She clasped her hands to her chest. "I've got my son filming it, so I'll have him email you a copy."

Peter grinned. “That’d be great.”

Ned swallowed audibly as he looked at his best friend, or at least the person that looked like his best friend. There were stark differences, though. Peter Parker stumbled on words and went on tangents, and he never mentioned anything about dance recitals or anyone called Sophie or Richie. This Peter was confident and calm, totally at ease here.

Peter looked at him, and his smile fell. "Sorry, Ned. Juliet, this is my best friend, Ned. We're doing a school assignment with Mr. Stark today. Ned, this is Juliet. She's the boss of the front desk, and her grandkids are adorable. I met them at the company picnic this summer.”

Stark Industries had a company picnic? Peter went to a company picnic? How did Ned not know this? It was like Peter had this whole other life that he knew nothing about.

“Show him their picture, Juliet,” Peter encouraged.

The woman plucked a silver-framed photograph from her side of the counter and turned it to him. He saw a little girl with fiery red hair and a baby on her lap.

“They’re… uh, real cute, ma’am,” he said awkwardly.

Juliet touched a finger to the cheek of the image of her granddaughter and then placed the picture down and said, "Has Mr. Hogan arranged a security pass for your friend, Peter?"

"Yep," Peter chirped. "He's supposed to be meeting us here to hand it over and to get Ned's biometrics."

Juliet looked past Peter’s shoulder and said, “And here he comes.”

Ned spun and saw Happy Hogan marching towards them, his face set in a glower. His black suit was immaculate, and Ned suddenly felt very grubby in his worn-down Nikes, ratty jeans, and a blue hoodie.

Peter, who was dressed almost identically to him, only he'd swapped the hoodie for a t-shirt with Yoda's face on it, looked perfectly comfortable. He greeted Happy with a wave and grin, which did not diminish when Happy crossed his arms over his chest and said, "You're late."

“We had to stop for breakfast,” Peter said.

Happy raised an eyebrow. “You kept me waiting.”

“Sorry, Happy,” Peter said. “I wanted to get something for you, too, though.” He slid his backpack off his shoulder, unzipped it, and took out a squishy package in a brown Starbucks takeout bag. “It’s a cronut.”

“What the hell is a cronut, why are Starbucks selling them, and why do you think I need one?”

“They’re like a croissant/donut hybrid, Starbucks are branching out, and I thought you’d like it since I know Mr. Stark’s banned the cafeteria staff from serving you anything too fun since your last cardiogram.”

Ned thought he saw a flash of fondness on Happy’s face, a slight softening of the eyes and a quirk of the lips, but it was quickly gone and replaced with a neutral mask as he snatched the bag out of Peter’s hands and said, “Thanks, kid. Now, let’s get this done so I can do my actual job instead of catering to the boss’ pet intern’s buddies.” He fixed his eyes on Ned. “You’re Ned Leeds?”

Ned nodded mutely, and then, when Peter elbowed him, licked his lips and said, “Yes, sir. That’s me.”

Happy took a device out of his pocket, which was the size of a phone but square. He tapped it then held it up in front of Ned’s face. He heard the click of a photo being taken, and then a red line of light slid over Ned’s face, making him gasp.

“It’s okay, Ned,” Peter said. “It’s just a retina scan. It’ll go on the security system to identify you through Friday.”

“Friday?” Ned asked.

Peter beamed. “Say hello, Friday,” he instructed.

"Hello, Peter," a disembodied voice replied. "And hello, Mr. Leeds. It's nice to meet you at last. I've heard a lot about you from Peter and Karen.”

Ned looked around, eyes roving for the source of the voice, and Happy grunted a laugh.

“You won’t find her, kid,” he said gruffly. “She’s the AI interface for the tower. She’s everywhere.”

“And nowhere,” Peter said with a wink. “Technically, she’s based in the mainframe, which is in the basement near the arc reactor, but that’s not really her. You’re all seeing, aren’t you, Friday?”

"I am indeed, Peter," she said. "And I think I should remind you that you told Boss you'd be here at eleven, and it's now eleven-fifteen."

Peter ran a hand through his hair. “Damn. Yeah. Uh… Has he noticed I’m not here yet?”

There was unmistakable amusement in her voice as she replied. “No. He is currently working on the Mark XLVIII Armor. He will undoubtedly notice soon, though."

“We’ll be right there,” Peter said.

“One minute,” Happy said, then addressed Ned. “Kid, give me your digits.”

Ned stared at him blankly. “You mean my phone number?” That was some kind of old-fashioned way of asking, right? He was sure he’d seen it in a movie once.

Happy rolled his eyes, then grabbed Ned’s hand and waggled it. “Digits, kid!”

He pressed Ned's fingers one by one onto the device in his hand, then dropped his hand and said, "Okay, you're good." He rooted in his pocket and pulled out a badge that looked like a credit card attached to a lanyard. "This is only valid today, and it'll give you access to the lobby and the cafeteria," he said. "You want to go anywhere else, you'll need the boss or Peter."

“Oh, okay. Thanks.”

Ned took the card and examined it. It was emblazoned with the Stark Industries logo, his name, and a large number ten.”

"You're basic clearance," Happy explained. "The kid here's level one, so he can get you anywhere you want to go, but…" he crossed his arms over his chest. "No making a nuisance of yourself. Serious business happens here, and we've got top security guests on the penthouse."

Peter grinned. “We have? Awesome!”

Happy's lips quirked with that smile again, which was quickly wiped away. "We have. Same goes for you, kid. I know they all think you're great, but don't be a pain. It's bad enough that you've got the boss playing starlet for your little home movie.”

“It’s not a home movie, Happy,” Peter said. “It’s a school assignment, and Mr. Stark said it was okay.”

Again, there was the small smile, and then Peter and Ned were being propelled towards the elevators with Happy’s hands gripping the backs of their collars. He planted them in front of the elevator at the very end, the one with a black panel beside the button, and said, “Go on. Get out of my hair.”

Peter placed his hand on the panel, a light swiped over his palm, and then the voice Ned now knew was Friday said, “Peter Parker, security clearance level one, identified.  Where would you like to go, Peter?”

“All the way up to eighty-five, please, Friday,” Peter said. “We’re going to Mr. Stark’s lab.”

The doors slid open, and Peter stepped inside.

Ned looked around the lobby again then followed him in. He was pretty sure he was about to embark on the adventure of a lifetime with his best friend, and from what he had seen so far, he thought he was going to learn a lot about Peter, too.

Like who he was when he walked through the glass door of Avengers Tower.

When the elevator doors opened, Peter led them along a hall to another door with a security panel which Peter placed his hand on. The light ran across his palm, and then the door clicked open. Ned's ears were immediately assaulted by blaring music, which he didn't recognize but knew it was old.

Peter pushed open the door and entered, and the volume of the music lowered to a more manageable level.

"Thanks, Friday,” Peter said, then raised his voice a little. “Hey, Mr. Stark.”

Tony Stark, Iron Man himself, was standing right in front of Ned. His hair was tousled, and there was a black smudge of oil on his cheek. At first, he looked vague, staring between Peter and Ned, who shifted from foot to foot and wished he'd gone to the bathroom before he left as he suddenly felt very close to peeing from nerves.

“Are you late?” he asked Peter.

“Nope,” Peter said guilelessly. “I said I’d be here at eleven-twenty, and”—he pointed at the digital clock on the wall—“we’re right on time.”

Tony Stark narrowed his eyes and said, “I call bullshit. You said eleven, I’m sure.”

Unabashed, Peter said, "Okay, yeah, we're a little late, but we needed breakfast since I didn't think you'd want us passing out from low blood sugar. And I remembered what you said about Happy's cardiogram, so I stopped at Starbucks to get him a fruit salad pot for breakfast so he wasn't tempted to go out and get something unhealthy to snack on.”

Tony Stark narrowed his eyes. “Friday, what did the kid get Happy?”

“A fruit salad pot,” the AI reported. “He seems to be enjoying it.”

Ned’s mouth dropped open. Tony Stark’s own AI was lying to him for Peter. How the hell had he managed that? Ned was sure a genius like Tony Stark would program it for absolute honesty to him.

Tony Stark nodded, and his lips quirked into a smile. "Good job, Underoos. Now, you going to introduce me to your playdate?"

Peter's eyes snapped to Ned again, and he said, "Yeah. Sorry. Ned, this is Mr. Stark. Mr. Stark, this is my best friend, Ned."

“Nice to meet you, Ted,” Tony Stark said.

“Ned,” Peter corrected.

Tony Stark waved a hand. "Sure, that, too. Now, you got everything you need for this video thing? I'm giving you one day to do it, then your time is up. I spend enough of my life with cameras pointing at me already, thanks, so I'm not giving you more."

“Yeah, we’re ready,” Peter said. He strode forward and dumped his backpack on the worktable in front of Tony Stark and unzipped it.

"Oh no, you don't," Tony Stark said. "You're not turning my space into your chaotic dumping ground. Use your own table."

Peter nodded, grinned, and carried his bag over to another large table which was dotted with tools, only some of which Ned knew the use of, scraps of metal and what Ned thought was a web shooter in the making.

Peter had his own space in Tony Stark's workshop. He had his own tools? This was crazy. Why had Peter never told him this? He just said Tony Stark taught him stuff on his internship, and they worked on his suit. This was bigger than that.  It was like Peter was a part of his team, with his own place to work.

From the corner were soft beeping sounds, and Peter's head snapped around, and a wide smile spread across his face. "Hey!”

He ran into the corner where there were two robots with hydraulic arms which seemed to be making the sound. One of them tapped a claw on Peter’s shoulder, and Ned moved closer to see. The one touching Peter had an ugly scarf wrapped around what Ned would call its neck, made from red and yellow wool. The other was wearing a dunce cap.

“Hey guys,” Peter said happily. “How are you doing?”

In answer, there were more beeps, and the claw plucked at the sleeve of Peter's t-shirt.

“Uh… Peter…” Ned said, his confusion making its home in his voice.

“This is U,” Peter said, patting the arm of the closest robot, the one wearing the scarf, and then pointed at the one wearing the dunce cap and said, “And this is Dum-E. Mr. Stark built them. They help him with his inventions.”

Tony Stark snorted. “They also screw up and try to extinguish non-existent fires.”

Peter laughed and tugged on the scarf the robot was wearing. “Looking good, man. Is it new?”

The arm bobbed up and down in a nod.

“And what happened to you, buddy?” Peter asked the other bot. “You having a bad day?”

“Don’t be nice to Dum-E,” Tony Stark said seriously. “He tried to poison me again.”

Peter's face fell as the robot made a small, sad beeping sound.

“Awww, were you trying to help?" Peter asked, and the robot nodded. "Engine oil smoothie again?"

“Yes,” Tony Stark said darkly. “And I wasn’t paying attention, so I actually drank some.”

Peter stifled a laugh and addressed the robot. “I know you were doing your best. Don’t listen to him.”

“Like they ever do,” Tony Stark snorted.

“Uh, Peter,” Ned said, his voice barely more than a whisper. “Why is that robot wearing an ugly scarf?”

Tony Stark clearly had keen hearing as he spun around and said, “Ugly? That is not the word for that scarf, Ted.”

“No, of course, I mean… Uh…” The color drained from his face, and he began to gape like a fish. Tony Stark was correcting him. This was a nightmare and a blessing at once.

“Relax, kid,” Tony Stark said. “We’ve only got the basic med team here during the day shift, and they might not be able to get here fast enough if you had a stress-induced heart attack. The full crew does the nightshift for when Underoos is patrolling so they can deal with his occasional stab or bullet wounds.”

Peter’s head snapped around, breaking the conversation he’d been having with the bot, and said, “It happened once, Mr. Stark, and it wasn’t really a stab wound. It wasn’t a knife.”

“No,” Tony Stark agreed. “It was an iron bar that impaled you in the kidney.”

"You got stabbed!" Ned squawked. "How did I not know that? I'm your guy in the chair. I should be informed."

“You’re his what?” Tony Stark asked, a gleam in his eye.

Peter held up a finger. “He’s my guy in the chair, who would have saved me crashing a plane if Happy had been listening. Ned is a vital part of my life as Spider-Man.”

Tony Stark narrowed his eyes but nodded and said, “Point conceded.” He turned his gaze on Ned. "And yes, he was stabbed with an iron bar by some supercharged gremlin thing. And that's nothing compared to the time he was shot in the gut and got septic because he tried to pull the bullet out himself with tweezers."

Ned gaped at Peter, who waved a hand and said, "He's making it sound way worse than it was. I was fine, really."

“And you didn’t tell me because?”

Tony Stark moved to them and clapped a hand on Ned’s shoulder, making his breath catch and his vision blur because Iron Man was touching him, actually touching him with his superhero hand. Ned was collecting superhero DNA right now, and he wasn't sure how long he would stay conscious with that knowledge and weight on his shoulder.

"Probably because he didn't want you to share my nightmares, Ted," Tony Stark said, then smirked. "And because you apparently believe him when he says he's got stomach flu so can't come to school while he’s recovering.”

“It’s Ned, Mr. Stark," Peter scolded.

Ned licked his dry lips and, as the hand fell from his shoulder, remembered how to breathe. “Ted is fine. They sound really similar.”

Peter scowled, and Tony Stark winked at him then said, "And my point, before we got off track, was that it is a hideous scarf, not an ugly one, but you can’t say it outside this room as its creator is sensitive about his knitting and we all appreciate how hard he’s trying.”

Peter grinned and nodded. “He’s not wrong.”

“Now, get the camera set up, Ted, while Underoos makes nice with his bot buddies. I got the Hulkbuster armor out to show you since I thought that would be most impressive for all your little kindergarten friends.”

“We’re seniors, Mr. Stark,” Peter said.

Tony Stark waved a hand. “Sure you are, kid.”

Ned hurried to Peter’s desk, set down his own bag, feeling suddenly bereft as if it had been a security blanket, and took the video camera out of Peter’s bag.

“Okay, Mr. Stark,” Peter said. “I want to get some footage of you working at first, then we’ll ask you some questions.”

Tony Stark nodded, “Sure, kid, whatever gets you the gold stars and extra apple slices at break.”

Peter rolled his eyes. “Sure, thanks.”

Ned and Peter fiddled with the camera settings for a moment, then Ned lifted it and pointed it at Tony Stark, who had picked up a screwdriver and twisted a screw on the knee of the massive armor. "This okay?" he asked.

“Yes,” Peter said, “But try not to talk to us while we’re filming unless we’re doing the interview. This footage is going to have a voiceover as we talk about who you are and what you do.”

Tony Stark huffed a laugh. “Yeah, because no one in your school will know who I am already. This is going to be ground-breaking stuff.”

“Your ego is showing, Mr. Stark,” Peter muttered.

Tony Stark’s head snapped up. “What was that?”

“I said this angle is great,” Peter said innocently. “We’re going to start filming now.”

Tony Stark glared at him a moment then muttered, "Little asshole," as the bots beeped in rapid succession, which Ned thought sounded a lot like laughter.

Ned pressed record and steadied the camera on Tony Stark as he fiddled with the screw and pulled up a hologram above the armor. He seemed to become lost in what he was doing, his brow furrowed and, seemingly oblivious to Ned and the camera, he said, “Over here, Underoos. I want you to look at this spot. Do you think we can increase the torque to get the speed of motion up? Bruce is pretty damn fast when he’s gone full-on green guy, and I’d like to get the jump on him.”

Peter bounced over to him and said, “Hmm, maybe. Have you tried increasing the pressure on the hip joint?”

“No. Hmm… That could work.”

They fell into conversation about details of the armor that Ned, a genius himself, was lost in, and he focused on keeping the camera steady and getting them both in the shot.

This film wasn't going to be quite what they'd planned to make, but Ned thought using this as a chance to show Flash and the rest of their doubting classmates that Peter's internship was a real thing, that he was on a level with Tony Stark when it came to this stuff, was going to be way better than what they'd planned to make.

xXx

Ned had been filming for thirty minutes, and marveling at his best friend for even longer, when the door slid open behind him. He spun around, pointing the camera at a pretty woman with strawberry blonde hair, wearing a neat pantsuit and a knobbly scarf similar to the one the bot was wearing, except this was black and green.

“Oh… uh… hi,” he said when she stopped just inside the door and raised an eyebrow. “I’m Ned.”

The woman’s face transformed into a smile. “Of course! Peter’s told me so much about you. I’m Pepper Potts.”

She looked between Ned and the camera, which he only now realized was still filming. He hit the button to stop the recording and lowered it. She approached the table where Tony Stark and Peter were bent over the armor and talking in clipped sentences, which seemed to be some kind of shorthand. She cleared her throat, and when that failed to interrupt them, she tugged on their collars until they were both upright and turning to see who was bothering them.

Their reactions were synchronized and equal in intensity. Peter beamed and said, "Hey, Pepper. Nice scarf," and Tony held up a hand and said, "Nope, no way. I know that look, Pepper, and it's my day off. I told you I was doing the home movie thing with Peter today. I don't care who wants to speak to me, what you need signed, or what alien threat is touching down in Central Park; it's my day off."

She raised an eyebrow. "First of all, hello, Peter. How are you, sweetie?"

"I'm great. We're doing some fine-tuning on the Mark XLVIII. We're working with the theory that if we can displace some of the power from the upper body, which is mainly reliant on hydraulics anyway, we can increase the speed of movement for the lower body, which means Mr. Stark would be faster than The Hulk so could pin him down sooner, minimizing collateral damage.”

She listened to his rambling with a fond smile and then said, “That’s great, honey,” patted his cheek, and fixed her eyes on Tony Stark. “Second, when you put me in charge of the company, you put me in charge of when things happen, so if I have stuff for you to sign now, you’ll sign it, mister.”

Tony Stark glowered. “Do you have something for me to sign?”

“No. And no, there’s no one wanting to talk to you, either. I cleared your schedule so you and Peter could have this day together.” She drew a deep breath and raised her voice. “And finally, there is no alien threat descending on Central Park, but you and I both know that you and Peter would be there already if there was. Don’t act like Iron Man is some chore, Tony, when you and I both know that if I had my way—”

She stopped, and Tony Stark rose to his feet and pressed his lips to her. Peter looked away, humming and rubbing the back of his neck as the chaste kiss deepened, leaving Ned standing frozen, staring at them. It wasn't that he liked watching couples making out—he wasn't a creeper—but this was Tony Stark—Iron Man—getting his ass handed to him by Pepper Potts, who MJ had informed them was a feminist icon and general badass. It was like seeing two rare birds at once; at least that was what his grandfather would say since he was really into ornithology and used birds to reference pretty much everything in life.

“Okay, Ned,” Peter said, suddenly in his face, blocking his view of the kissing icons, for which he was grateful, and tugging on his arm. “Let’s go get something to eat. They’ll be going back and forth like this for a while.”

“They do this a lot?” Ned asked, not sure if he meant the reaming or the kissing.

Peter rolled his eyes as he pulled open the door and led Ned down the hall to the elevator. "The kissing? Yeah. It's getting worse the closer we get to the wedding. And Pepper giving Tony hell, yeah, they're always like that." He grinned.

They stepped into an elevator, and Peter instructed Friday to take them up to the eighty-ninth floor then planted a hand on Ned's shoulder and said, "Okay, Dude, we're going to see some people now, friends, and I need you to do something for me."

Ned nodded eagerly. “Sure, man, anything, you know that.”

Peter grinned. “I need you to remember to breathe.”

Puzzled, Ned opened his mouth to ask what he meant, but then the elevator doors were sliding open, and Peter was leading him into a vast room. There were couches and chairs set facing a huge TV, a kitchen area with a massive table, the biggest fridge Ned had ever seen, and a stove that had ten burners—he counted. As impressive as this room was, as much as his mom would kill to get to cook in the kitchen and his dad would want to watch the game on the monster TV, it was the people in the room that made his breath gust out of him and his brain forget how to replace it with new.

Captain America was sitting on the couch, his brow furrowed with concentration as he fumbled with a ball of yarn and two knitting needles. Beside him was a man Ned knew best from the news' courtroom footage of his trial and subsequent pardon for the crimes of the Winter Soldier—Sergeant James Barnes. Opposite them was a woman with red hair in a messy bun who Ned knew was the Black Widow—though the Black Widow never wore yoga pants and strappy tops on the TV. To top off the moment of insanity was the Doctor Bruce Banner, who was sliding cookies from a baking trap into a plate.

They all looked around as Peter called a greeting and introduced Ned, and so they had front seat views to the moment Ned’s legs, denied oxygen too long by Ned’s empty lungs, gave way, and his butt hit the carpet with a thump.

“Ned!” Peter cried, kneeling beside him. “Are you okay?”

Ned nodded, and then his brain kicked in and remembered how to breathe. Wonderful air flooded his lungs, his blood saturated with oxygen, and the ringing in his ears disappeared.

“You okay, kid?” Doctor Banner asked, coming to kneel beside them.

Ned nodded. “Yes, Doctor Banner, Sir, I just…”

Sergeant Barnes, who had got to his feet when Ned fell, narrowed his eyes and said, “You forgot to breathe.”

Cheeks blazing with embarrassment, Ned nodded and muttered. “Yes, sir.”

Peter helped him to his feet, and Doctor Banner guided him to a seat at the table with a hand on his elbow—more superhero DNA, this was the best day ever.

“I’ll get you some juice,” Peter said, patting Ned’s shoulder and going to the fridge, rooting in it and calling, “Hey, who drank all the orange juice?”

“I did,” the Black Widow called in reply. “Is that a problem?”

Peter turned around and fixed his eyes on her. “A problem? No, I guess not, but it’s kinda mean, Nat.”

She smirked. “I’ll run out and buy you some more if you want.”

Peter waved a hand. "It's okay. The orange was for me. Ned prefers apple." He poured a glass and brought it back to give to Ned with a knowing, "Drink up." It was as if he knew Ned's head was swimming, and he really needed the boost of sugar since his body was burning through it with the adrenaline caused by being in the same room as his heroes.

Ned took a sip and then froze as Doctor Banner picked his free hand up and pressed his fingers to his wrist. Yeah, Doctor Bruce Banner was taking his pulse. That was a thing that was happening.

How was Peter so calm with all this going on? Why wasn’t he freaking out?”

"It's fast but strong," Doctor Banner said, then patted Ned's shoulder. "You just sit quietly for a few minutes.” He turned away and addressed Peter. “If you’re out of juice, you can have some of my chocolate milk.”

“Thanks, Bruce,” Peter said happily, then darted to the fridge to get his drink.

Ned stared at him in awe. Peter called Doctor Banner Bruce. Like he was just a person. Like they didn’t spend whole afternoons geeking out when they chose him to be the subject of their most accomplished scientist of the century essay in junior year.

What was Peter's life here, and how did Ned not know this?

And did Doctor Banner really drink chocolate milk?

He watched Peter pour himself a glass, drain it, and then pour another as The Black Widow wiped away his chocolate milk mustache with a fond smile.

Ned became aware of eyes on him, and he looked around. Captain Rogers was frowning at the yarn in his hands again, but his friend, Sergeant Barnes, was staring at Ned. He felt the hairs on the back of his neck and arms stand on end, and his heart sped. If Doctor Banner checked it again, he was going to be very concerned. Ned was concerned. His heart was hammering against his ribs so hard that Ned almost expected to see it move the front of his hoodie.

He knew the Winter Soldier was dangerous and had done all kinds of awful things, but that was when he was under the control of Hydra, at least that was what his defense team said in court. He was supposed to be an American hero, really, like Captain America.

Ned thought that might be true, but he also thought Mr. Barnes was looking at him now with a view to causing some serious pain if he put a toe out of line.

“Uh, Peter,” he squeaked.

Peter stopped trying to brush the Black Widow's hands away as she messed with his hair, and his eyebrows rose, which made Ned sure his very real panic was showing. Peter looked between Ned and Mr. Barnes, who was still examining Ned, and a small frown appeared on his brows.

“Bucky, quit it,” he said, in the same tone Ned’s mom used when she caught him sneaking snacks out of the fridge before dinner. “Ned’s not a threat.”

Sergeant Barnes’ eyes moved from Ned to Peter and narrowed. “Are you sure?”

Peter huffed a laugh. “Yeah, I’m sure. He’s my best friend. We go to school together and have for years. He is in no way a threat.”

Sergeant Barnes seemed to accept that as he nodded and then smiled. The difference the smile made was huge. He seemed suddenly kind and friendly, eager even as he said, "Book club later, Pete?"

Peter looked genuinely remorseful as he shook his head. “I can’t today, sorry. I’ve got to finish this project for school. We’re filming Mr. Stark for a day. We came up to get a snack and to give him a Pepper a moment alone. I’ll come over tomorrow, though, and we can talk about chapter ten.”

Sergeant Barnes nodded seriously, as if that was a binding agreement, and then relaxed back in his seat.

"Snacks!" Doctor Banner said, going to the counter and then delivering the plate of cookies to Ned and Peter, who had joined him. The Black Widow came to them, boosted herself up onto the table, crossed her legs, and grabbed a cookie.

Peter took one then nudged Ned until he did the same. He took a bite of the still-warm cookie and grinned. "It's really good."

“That’s because Bruce made them,” the Black Widow informed him. “He’s the best at desserts. If you want the savory stuff, you’ve got to talk to Steve or Bucky.” She gestured over her shoulder to where Captain America was knitting with little skill and occasional huffs of annoyance.

“Peter, why is Captain America knitting?” he whispered.

Peter laughed softly. “It’s a self-care thing. We, all of us, deal with nightmares after some of the things we've done, so Sam, our resident shrink, set us up with therapy tools. Mine is my photography, Bucky's is book club, Natasha's is—"

She cleared her throat and cut a hand across her mouth.

“Natasha’s is confidential,” Peter went on with a nod. “Point is, we’ve all got something, and Steve’s is knitting. He’s making us all scarves since his sweater attempts were…”

“Disastrous,” Sergeant Barnes said with a nod. “Yep.”

Ned’s mind was reeling. This was crazy. He wondered if he was the only civilian to see this side of the superheroes. The Hulk baked cookies and drank chocolate milk, Captain America knitted sweaters, Iron Man scolded his robots and put dunce caps and scarves on them. And this was Peter’s life. He was perfectly happy here with them, relaxed; it was like they were more than his friends, like family.

The Black Widow looked between Ned and Captain America and grinned, then whistled around her fingers and said, “Rogers! Report!”  

Captain America jolted as if shocked, dropped his yarn and jumped to his feet, and said, “What’s wrong?”

Peter laughed, and Natasha smirked. "Peter's brought a friend for us to meet."

“This is Ned, Steve,” Peter supplied. “Ned, this is—”

“Captain America. You’re…” Ned drew a shaky breath. “Wow.”

Captain America was the hero to him. He’d been raised on the comics and stories of him. Sure, Iron Man was great, and Ned knew Peter idolized him since he was a kid, but Captain America was the one that Ned had admired most. He'd gone from scrawny and weak to buff and fast, which was cool, and then he’d gone behind enemy lines to save his friend and four-hundred others without backup. That was hardcore superhero stuff. He was the first avenger.

“Nice to meet you, Ned,” Captain America said, coming to him and holding out a hand.

Ned stared at it a moment too long, his mind reeling, and then shook it, hoping his palm wasn’t too sweaty because he was really nervous.

Captain America pumped his hand up and down twice, gave it a small squeeze, then dropped it and said, “So, Ned, what do you do?”

“I… uh… I like computers,” Ned said.

Captain America frowned slightly. “I don’t know much about them, but that sounds great. Any friend of Peter’s is a friend of mine.” His eyes widened as if struck with an idea. “Hey, Ned, do you want a scarf?”

Ned’s mouth dropped open, and he forgot how to close it. Captain America was offering him a scarf. He was going to knit him one. Sure, the fact Captain America apparently liked knitting was insane, but the thought that Ned might get something made for him was amazing.

“I’d love a scarf, sir,” he said. “That’d be great.”

Captain America nodded, grinned, then went to the corner where there was a bag of balls of yarn, which he began to pluck out one by one and say, "Green? Or yellow? Or would you like one with Spider-Man colors like Peter's?" His eyes flickered to Peter. "Where is your scarf, Peter?"

“I lent it to Aunt May,” Peter said with a small smile. “She was getting cold going to work for the night shift.”

Captain America beamed. “That’s kind of you. I’ll make her one, too, when I’ve finished your friend’s. So, Ned, colors?”

“Anything would be fine,” Ned said a little shakily; he couldn’t quite wrap his mind around the fact he was having a conversation with his hero.

Captain America pulled out two balls of yarn, new knitting needles, then went back to the couch and got to work.

“Tell us a little about yourself, Ned,” Doctor Banner said. “What do you like to do with computers?”

“Uh… everything, really. I like programming best, but I’m pretty good at hacking, too.”

Peter laughed. “Ned hacked my suit and unlocked all the features Mr. Stark had blocked off. He’s a genius!”

Ned grinned, bolstered by Peter’s enthusiasm and admiration. “Yeah, that was pretty tough. He had a hardcore firewall to get through, but I managed it.”

“It was pretty tough?” a voice said behind them.

Ned spun so fast he fell off his chair, landing on his butt for the second time with a loud, "Oof." He blinked up at Tony Stark, who was looking down at him with a carefully neutral face but a gleam in his eyes.

Ned thought he looked dangerous.

“You’re the one that hacked my suit…. Ted?”

Ned licked his lips. “Uh… yes, sir.”

"Mr. Stark, he didn't want to," Peter said, rushing to his defense. "I made him do it."

Tony Stark held up a hand and said, “Zip it, Underoos.” He fixed his eyes on Ned and said, “How long did it take you?”

“Uh… a few minutes.”

His eyes widened a little, then a small smile quirked his lips. “It took you a few minutes to hack through my tech, my firewall, and unlock the features I knew Peter wasn’t ready for?”

Ned gulped and winced. “Yes, sir.”

“Hmm…”

Ned thought he could see anger building behind Mr. Stark’s mask, and he squeezed his eyes shut and flinched away. A strong hand gripped his wrist and yanked him to his feet. He still didn’t open his eyes, not until a callused hand tapped his cheek and an amused voice said, “Breathe, kid, and look at me.” Ned forced himself to obey, meeting Tony's Stark's eye and waiting for the explosion. Instead of an explosion, though, Tony Stark smiled, showing his teeth in the way Ned had seen in magazines over the years, some of which made it into Peter's scrapbook, and said, "So, kid, you got much free time?"

"Oh. I, uh, I mean have school, and I'm in band, and I'm on the decathlon team, so not much, but—”

Tony Stark held up a hand. "You want an internship with my tech department?"

Ned's heart skipped, and he mouthed wordlessly.

“Speak!” Tony Stark instructed.

“Yes,” Ned squeaked. “I’d like that a lot, Mr. Iron Man, Sir.”

Peter grinned and clapped Ned on the shoulder. “Awesome. We get to do this together.”

“You can do some together," Tony Stark said. "I'm not having this place turn into daycare. Ted will have his assigned mentor, and you'll have me. You don't get to drag more of your little friends here in hopes of them getting a job."

“A job?” Ned said weakly. “I thought it was an internship. You don’t pay interns.”

“You don’t,” Tony Stark agreed. “And you two don’t tell anyone else that you’re getting anything more than experience from it, understand?”

Ned nodded.  “I understand.”

Peter clapped Ned on the shoulder and said, “We don’t get paid, though we have an all you can eat option in the cafeteria, but Mr. Stark pays for our college through the September Foundation.”

Ned gaped. He knew his parents were worried about paying for his college, and he’d applied for scholarships, but if this was for real, he could afford to go out of state the way he wanted. He could apply to the places he really wanted to study instead of where he thought his parents could afford.

“You thought much about college?” Tony Stark asked.

“Uh, a little, yeah.”

“MIT on your radar?” he asked. “That’s where Underoos is going.”

“It’s where I might be going, Mr. Stark,” Peter said. “I’ve got heard back yet.”

Tony Stark ruffled Peter’s hair and said, “Kid, with your brains and my letter of recommendation, they’d be nuts not to accept you.” He turned back to Ned. “I want you here after school two days a week, with Peter, and you can come to the compound for weekends. Give me a month to get a report from your mentor on what you’re coming up with, and I’ll see about writing you a recommendation, too.”

“I… uh… huh… Ya…” Ned sputtered inarticulately, totally overwhelmed, and Peter placed his hand on his shoulder and said, “That’s Ned for, thank you, Mr. Stark.”

Tony Stark nodded and ran a hand through hair. “Now, kids, you going to get this filming thing done. I’ve been informed by my fiancé that I’m booked solid tomorrow with wedding prep, so you’ve got today with me and no more.”

Peter nodded eagerly and said, “Shall we go back to the lab. We need to do the interview portion now, and then maybe some domestic scenes.”

“Domestic? Think who you’re talking to, kid. I don’t do domestic?”

Peter snorted, and Ned looked around the room. The Black Widow was dunking cookies in Peter’s chocolate milk, Doctor Banner was wiping down the counters, Sergeant Barnes was reading on the couch with his feet kicked up on the coffee table, and Captain America was knitting.

Maybe Tony Stark was the exception, but Ned didn't think there was much more domestic than this. And Peter was a part of it. These people were his family.

Ned had come here to see a day in the life of Tony Stark, but he thought he’d seen more of his best friend’s life than his, and now, with this internship, he was being given a small part of it.

This was the best assignment ever.

[theastrophilearchitect]

WandaVision series review part 2.

Last week, I posted part 1 of my WandaVision series review, containing my initial thoughts and breakdown of episodes 1-3 (part 1 can be found here). This post, part 2, will contain my breakdown of episodes 4-6, and part 3, to come next week, will contain episodes 7-9 and my final thoughts. 

So, let’s go.

Episode Four: ‘We Interrupt This Program’ This is the episode where everything comes together; where things start to make sense. This episode debuted on January 29th, finally giving us some answers after the first and second episodes were released on the 15th. It has a runtime of 34 minutes, which is fairly on par with the episodes up to here, though this episode doesn’t follow the sitcom format, but feels more like your classic MCU content.

The episode opens with a previously on WandaVision recap, which seems to very much focus on Geraldine, the meaning of which soon becomes clear. And we enter a black screen which slowly fades into the form of Geraldine, with voices from the movie Captain Marvel--the voices of Carol Danvers, Maria Rambeau and Maria’s daughter, Monica, which just confirms fan speculation that Geraldine is, in fact, a grown-up Monica Rambeau, and we must currently be seeing her after the Blip--after Bruce Banner’s snap in Avengers: Endgame returned all those Thanos killed at the end of Avengers: Infinity War.

Monica sits in a hospital room, but the bed beside her is empty, then she leaves the room to panic as people coalesce throughout the hospital. She asks about a patient in room 104, then one of the doctors recognises her, and tells her her mother--Maria Rambeau--who presumably was who she was in the hospital for, is dead, and about the Blip, because it seems to Monica it’s only been a few minutes. And we have the Marvel logo, after an introduction instead of right at the beginning as in the sitcom episodes.

Cut to the headquarters of SWORD, standing for Sentient Weapon Observation and Response Division, which is quite clearly just talking about Vision. Honestly, though, Marvel’s obsession with making their acronyms real words--I’m talking to you, SHIELD and HYDRA--is mildly irritating because of how unrealistic it is. Just a me-gripe.

Monica fails to access the building, her badge apparently outdated, and we’re introduced to Tyler Hayward, acting director of SWORD in Monica’s absence. Hayward brings her into the building and declares Monica grounded, able to only carry out terrestrial missions, on her mother’s order for if the personnel who disappeared in the Blip were to return. He then assigns her to an ‘FBI thing’. Cue the wonderful Jimmy Woo.

Monica is welcomed near the sign for Westview by Jimmy Woo, the FBI agent who dealt with Scott Lang’s house arrest in Ant-Man and the Wasp. Jimmy tells Monica a witness he had in Westview has gone off the radar; that everyone seems to have forgotten the man’s existence. And they approach two policemen stood by the sign, who claim Westview doesn’t exist. Ah, Wanda’s lovely magic. Jimmy also says he can’t contact anyone on the inside.

‘This isn’t a missing person’s case, Captain Rambeau, it’s a missing town. Population 3,892.’

And Jimmy claims the town itself won’t let him in to investigate, but though the town seems empty, it is visible, and there doesn’t appear to be any physical barrier. Monica sends in a helicopter-style drone, and the camera feed glitches like a television screen as it nears the town, then the drone disappears--the toy helicopter Wanda found in episode 2. Monica approaches the town, and a television-barrier becomes apparent. Monica touches it, and is pulled inside, hence becoming Geraldine within Westview in episodes 2 and 3.

Cut to a day later, the glorious Darcy Lewis from the first two Thor movies, Jane Foster’s (Thor’s love interest’s) intern, now graduated and with a PhD in astrophysics, sits in a van with several other scientists of different fields. Outside Westview, SWORD has set up a kind of military base. Darcy takes some readings and gets ‘a colossal amount of CMBR’ (Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation, which is one of the things used to prove the Big Bang Theory), and notices ‘longer wavelengths superimposed over the noise’, and has the idea to set up and link a vintage television to it.

Cut to night, we watch a man in some kind of protective suit crawl through sewers into Westview, the border of which transforms him into the beekeeper from the end of episode 2 which prompted Wanda to rewind and skip to the 1970s.

Darcy’s TV picks up the signal, and plays the previous episodes of WandaVision in their sitcom format, pointing out Vision is meant to be very, very, very dead. We see that the hands the camera zoomed out to reveal watching the show at the end of episode 1 belong to Darcy.

At this point, SWORD starts putting together a wall and whiteboard of their information, and it’s really fun to see them asking all the same questions we as an audience are. Why hexagonal shape? I take it this means the border is hexagonal, not that we’d know that as an audience. Why sitcoms? I know the answer, but only because I watched episode 8 already. Same time and space? and, of course, Is Vision alive?

It’s really fun knowing the answers.

Jimmy and Darcy watch Monica as Geraldine, and question whether she’s playing along or if she’s oblivious. With some science-y Darcy stuff, we also see that the voice in the radio in episode 2 was Jimmy, but we see the episode glitched itself out of that situation, like what SWORD is calling the ‘Westview anomaly’ is righting itself when they interfere.

As they watch Wanda give birth, they expect the anomaly to break, as all the other people are real people brainwashed, but then the babies are born, indicating Wanda has some kind of creational power (foreshadowing). Geraldine mentions Ultron, and as Wanda tells her to leave, the episode again glitches to the credits, not quite as we saw in the actual episode.

It then cuts back to that scene in episode 3, but not through the old TV as Jimmy and Darcy are watching. I didn’t notice whether or not it did this in episode 3, but the aspect ratio has increased, more to that typical of a modern show, in contrast to the smaller ones of the early sitcoms. And we watch Wanda threaten Geraldine with her magic, glowing red as it should--the event episode 3 emitted, instead giving us Vision’s perspective. Wanda tells Geraldine to leave, and blasts her through the walls of the house, and straight out of Westview, hence the end clip of episode 3. Wanda repairs the wall just before Vision returns home.

Something curious though--we know when SWORD sends things, including people, into it, they transform to fit the style, like the drone becoming a helicopter, the man becoming a beekeeper and Monica’s style changing to fit the decade, but when Monica comes out of Westview, she still looks like she did in the 70s episode.

Cut back to Wanda inside Westview, and she sees Vision walking, but apparently dead; skin-tissue-stuff pale, eyes blank and a hole in his head where Thanos took the mind stone, but he acts normal. Then Wanda sees him again looking normal. Vision tells her they don’t have to stay here if they don’t want to, and Wanda replies that they can’t; that this is their home--’Oh, don’t worry darling. I have everything under control.’ Which affirms Geraldine’s claim at the end of episode 3, that it’s all Wanda. (I’m going to refer to her as Geraldine when talking about episodes 1-3 and Monica when talking about 4-9, even though it’s the same character.)

Wanda and Vision sit down to watch TV and the credits begin, though Vision seems a little apprehensive.

And we finally have some answers about what the hell has been happening in Westview, and the vaguest idea how it fits into the MCU timeline as a whole.

Episode Five: ‘On a Very Special Episode...’ This episode was released on February 5th, with a runtime of 41 minutes, longer than any of its predecessors but still not exceptionally long. This is likely so it can follow the 1980s sitcom format with the inclusion of the SWORD parts. Note at this point, when the decade shifts, it occurs as something goes wrong: we shift to the 1960s when Mr and Mrs Hart question Wanda and Vision about how they came to Westview; we shift to the 1970s when they see the beekeeper, and we shift to the 1980s as Wanda forces Monica out of Westview.

So, we have the recap; nothing particularly noteworthy about it or its focus.

Shit, I just realised Tony’s snap at the end of Avengers: Endgame is now part of the Marvel logo sequence. Ouch.

Music plays, and we open to Tommy crying in a 1980s-style house. This episode is mostly formatted off Full House, in which Elizabeth Olsen’s elder sisters, identical twins Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen, played the youngest daughter, Michelle Tanner. Unrelated to the plot, but a fun aspect.

Billy and Tommy won’t stop crying, so Wanda tries to force them to sleep with her powers, but it doesn’t work, and we still don’t see the red sparks, but, again, that’s an 80s-style special effects thing. Also, aspect ratio in this episode: a little larger than in episodes 1-3, but not quite episode 4′s. Funny thing here is that episodes 1-3 were shot and edited in such a way the episodes registered on Disney+ as having a larger ratio, giving a black border around the frame on the screen, but it doesn’t have that in this episode. Just a technical thing I’m not sure of the cause of, though in retrospect may simply be to convey the size of TV screens in the eras.

Also, can we take a moment to appreciate Wanda’s curly hair and floral waistcoat in this episode?

Agnes shows up to help them with the babies, to which Vision is apprehensive, and after a moment, she says to Wanda: ‘Do you want me to take that again?’ as though they’re following a script. This continues, Agnes asks if they should take it from the top, which confuses Vision,  but Wanda just laughs it off. This is interesting, because the only other person we’ve yet seen break character is Geraldine, who entered the anomaly after its initial formation. Then Agnes shifts back into character, and the laugh track picks up again.

Vision questions Agnes’s comments aside with Wanda, but Wanda brushes it off, and acts as though nothing happened, and his suspicion only grows.

Then suddenly the twins are about... five? I’d say five. I don’t know. As Wanda and Vision realise this, Agnes says, ‘Kids. You can’t control ‘em. No matter how hard you try.’ There’s a running theme of children in this show--obviously the children themselves, ‘for the children’ in episode 2, and Mrs Hart’s questioning of when they were going to have children in episode 1. This semantic field fed theories that Wanda was literally doing this ‘for the children’, and this comment from Agnes could suggest the children will be the downfall of the anomaly--Wanda brainwashes the adults, but not the children.

The introduction to this episode is really cute. It has a mellow pop song playing over the top, and the 80s thing of using old photos of the characters; they’ve used actual photos of Elizabeth Olsen and the actors playing the twins, and mildly horrifying photoshopped versions of Paul Bettany as a child, but made into Vision. These photos of Vision were leaked before this episode came out, and it’s just hilarious to me because Vision was born an adult. And, assuming WandaVision takes place in 2024, after Avengers: Endgame and Spider-Man: Far From Home, Vision is literally nine years old as it takes place.

There generally isn’t much to pick apart in the theme songs themselves, but the general idea of this one is ‘we’re making it up as we go along,’ which could be an interesting insight into Wanda’s state of mind--we’ve somewhat villainised her up to this point, creating the anomaly and controlling people, but the stance should be taken that she just doesn’t know what she’s doing, and is trying her best, selfish as her goals may be.

Cut to Hayward questioning Monica about her memories, and she describes a hopeless feeling--grief--controlling her--Wanda’s grief at the loss of Vision in the fight against Thanos. They take some kind of scan of Monica’s body and draw blood, but have to redo them because the results came out blank--foreshadowing.

Hayward describes Wanda as ‘the principal victimiser’ instead of one of the victims of whatever was happening in Westview, jumping straight to villainous conclusions.

A point here: in a recap of the ‘subjects’, Jimmy Woo states Wanda was born in 1989, which is actually a change to canon, because in the events of Avengers: Age of Ultron, set in 2015, she was 16, born in 1999. Questionable. Still not sure why they did this, but this makes her 29 in WandaVision, excluding the years of the Blip, where she would otherwise be only 19.

Hayward asks Jimmy if Wanda has an alias--in the comics, Wanda Maximoff is Scarlet Witch, but this alias has not yet been stated in the MCU--foreshadowing. Hayward focuses on her failures, such as working against the Avengers upon her introduction and the destruction she caused in Nigeria at the beginning of Captain America: Civil War. He then calls Wanda a terrorist based on how Monica described her experience in Westview.

Hayward then reveals to us footage of Wanda entering the SWORD headquarters where Vision’s body was kept, and shattering glass to access it, broken into pieces, as though to steal it, which Jimmy doesn’t believe because it’s a violation of the Sokovia Accords, and Darcy wonders what will happen when Vision learns the truth.

Wanda comes into the kitchen to find Tommy and Billy with a dog they found and want to keep. Wanda is apprehensive about letting them keep him, Agnes shows up with a dog house, and Wanda decides to create a dog collar, right in front of Agnes. Vision calls her out on this, and she says she’s ‘tired of hiding’. They name the dog Sparky, then Wanda sides with Vision that the twins aren’t old enough to care for him until they’re ten years old, to which they just age themselves up again. Agnes jokes that the dog should stay the same size, but still doesn’t question the magic.

A note here: Wanda skips decades when things don’t go her way, and the twins skip ages--Wanda is in control of the things around her, but not herself, as they are in control of themselves.

Meanwhile, Monica tries to figure out how she could re-enter Westview, and Darcy starts to call the anomaly the Hex because of its hexagonal shape. And they discuss that Wanda must be wielding ‘an insane amount of power’ to maintain the Hex and the twins, beyond anything she’s ever displayed before. Monica mentions she could’ve taken down Thanos on her own if he hadn’t used the infinity stones, and Jimmy mentions he thinks Captain Marvel came close, to which Monica stiffens, and dismisses the conversation about her--something has clearly happened between Monica and Carol since the events of Captain Marvel.

They go a lab to run an analysis on the 70s clothes Monica wore when she came out of the Hex, and discover they’re bulletproof, like the vest she wore when she entered, and they establish Wanda isn’t creating anything, but is rewriting reality.

Vision goes to work, where he helps his co-worker Norm with his computer, and they get an email from SWORD about Westview, mentioning Darcy and radiation. Everyone in the office reads it out with Norm, but they laugh at it, while Vision is suspicious. He turns off the computer with his powers, then does the same zap-thing to Norm, who suddenly comes back to his regular consciousness, outside of Wanda’s control, and begs for help. He tells Vision he has to stop ‘her’, that ‘she’s in [his] head’. Vision zaps him again, and he goes back into sitcom-brain.

Wanda tells the twins Vision went to work, which they question because it’s Saturday. Wanda tells them he just needed a distraction because they weren’t ‘on the same page’. She talks about family, and tells them that her on brother is far away.

Sparky the dog barks at something outside, and we cut to a drone’s view. Monica has sent in an 80s drone, something the Hex wouldn’t need to rewrite, and we see that’s what Sparky barked at. Monica tries to speak to Wanda, and through the drone’s view, but not the broadcast’s, her eyes turn red, and Hayward orders an operator to ‘take the shot’, though Monica didn’t know it was armed. They take the shot and the drone’s camera cuts out. Alarms blare, and a worker claims ‘there’s a breach.’

We go outside to the border, and Wanda exits the Hex, wearing what she wore in the climax of the Infinity Saga, dragging the drone behind her. This is confusing to watch back, because I know in retrospect she wore civilian clothes when the Hex was created, and was left in them when it was destroyed. Shooters aim their guns at her, and she throws the drone to Hayward’s feet. As she talks, what she had elft of her accent in Avengers: Infinity War has returned. She tells them to ‘stay out of [her] home,’ that ‘if [they] don’t bother [her], [she], won’t bother [them].’ Monica talks to her, and she prepares her magic. Monica asks what she wants, and she replies ‘[she has] what [she wants]. And no-one will ever take it from [her] again.’

And ‘for the children’ clicks--Wanda clearly created the Hex to have a life and a family with Vision. Wanda uses her magic to turn the guns onto Hayward, but they don’t shoot as she returns to the Hex.

This scene is important, because it shows us for certain that Wanda is aware of what she is doing, and shows for certain that she is in control, where before we had substantial evidence, but nothing this undeniable.

And cue this episode’s advert, for Lagos Brand paper towels--’For when you make a mess you didn’t mean to.’ This is a reference to an event at the beginning of Captain America: Civil War, in which Wanda accidentally killed twenty-six civilians in Lagos, Nigeria.

We cut back to the Hex, where Sparky has disappeared. They cross paths with a mailman, who says ‘Your Mom won’t let him get far,’ another subconscious reference of one of Wanda’s cast to her control. They find the dog dead in Agnes’s yard, who says he ate her azaleas, which poisoned him. The twins are upset, but Wanda stops them aging up, and gives them a lecture about grief. One of the twins tells her she can ‘fix the dead,’ which Agnes does question. This is a reference to her apparent resurrection of Vision, but Wanda tells them death is inevitable and forever; blatant hypocrisy. 

Later, Vision asks Wanda how the boys are, and Wanda says ‘life moves pretty fast out in the suburbs’, a reference to the show’s time-jumping. Vision tells Wanda of his conversation with Norm, and tells her he was in pain. Vision says ‘You can’t control me the way you do them,’ to which Wanda replies, ‘Can’t I?’ and the credits roll, but sitcom-style credits, not the WandaVision credits.

Wanda tries to leave, and Vision asks about the ‘Maximoff Anomaly’, but she feigns ignorance. He accuses her of controlling the town, the credits stop, and they rise into the air with their powers. Wanda says she did it for both of them, Vision asks what’s outside of Westview, but she doesn’t answer. Vision says he can’t remember his life before Westview, but Wanda reassures him that he is her husband and a father; he asks why there are no other children in Westview, which she again dismisses. Wanda exaggerates the insanity of what he thinks--gaslighting--and says she doesn’t know how it started in the first place.

The doorbell rings, which she says she didn’t do, and Wanda opens the door to Pietro Maximoff, the brother who she claimed was ‘far away’, but we know to be dead. Except it isn’t Aaron Taylor Johnson’s Pietro, from Avengers: Age of Ultron, and it’s not just a recast. He’s played by Evan Peters, who plays the version of Quicksilver in the X-Men movies, which is clearly intentional.

This led to speculation about the opening of the multiverse, and even though WandaVision doesn’t directly go that route, Wanda’s next appearance is going to be in Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness.

This episode was an excellent one, and we’ve truly begun to build towards the climax.

Episode Six: ‘All-New Halloween Spooktacular!’ Released February 12th, this episode has a still-leaving-a-lot-to-be-desired 37 minute runtime, and is one of the ones primarily featured in the trailers, which showed Wanda and Vision dressed in mock-up costumes of their character design in the comic books, which is especially exciting for Wanda, because, not only has she not yet been officially called ‘Scarlet Witch’, she also hasn’t had an official costume, with most of her other outfits in a darker red, but not the comic Scarlet Witch.

Recap of the relevant information, roll the Marvel logo, and this episode opens with a fast-paced theme song, which shows Wanda for the first time with the red effects of her magic in the Hex through the sitcom camera. This song mentions ‘illusion’ again and again, then moves into a rather elongated verse of repeating ‘let’s keep it going’, implying Wanda is now simply trying to extend the time she has with her family.

The twins introduce the episode in that 1990s break-the-fourth-wall style, they play with Pietro, and Wanda comes downstairs in her costume, claiming to be a Sokovian fortune teller. Pietro says it’s ‘worse than the costumes Mom made us the year we got typhus,’ and we cut to a really brief flashback of Wanda and Pietro trick-or-treating; Wanda has her hair in a braid and Pietro has an eyepatch, which some thought might just be an Easter egg of the two dressing as Black Widow and Nick Fury, but looking at it now, it seems more incidental.

Vision then comes downstairs in his costume, and says he’s only wearing it because Wanda took all his other clothes out of his closet, and that it’s a Mexican wrestler. He tries to leave for the neighbourhood watch, to which Wanda starts, ‘No, that’s not what you’re supposed to--’ as though she’s beginning to lose control over the Hex. Pietro dresses in a mock-Quicksilver costume, and dresses Tommy in something similar, referencing that Tommy, in the comics, also has superspeed. 

Wanda tries to test Pietro on a memory of their childhood, which he calls her out on, and she asks why he looks different, but he says ‘you tell me’, again implying this is her doing. Wanda talks to Herb, one of the neighbours and a member of the watch, who tells her Vision isn’t on duty.

Cut to Vision near the edge of town, and he sees people in their yard repeating the same motions over and over, as if Wanda has less control over the outskirts of town.

Cut to this episode’s commercial: this one is animated, of a boy of a deserted island, and a shark jumps out of the water, and gives him a ‘Yo-Magic’ yoghurt to eat, which the boy takes, but is too weak to open. Time passes, and we watch him starve--’Yo-Magic! The snack for survivors!’ This could be referring to Wanda’s inability to save the people around her with her magic--she couldn’t save HYDRA’s other test subjects, then she couldn’t save Pietro, then Vision.

Wanda asks Pietro what happened to his accent, and he asks her the same question, then tells her his memories are fuzzy. Tommy then goes to get candy, and reveals his superspeed powers. He and Billy then go off with a promise not to ‘go past Ellis Avenue.’

Darcy, Jimmy and Monica hack into Hayward’s data, and discover he figured out a way through the boundary, and that he’s tracking Vision and the people in his vicinity. They notice the people at the edge of town are hardly moving. Cut to Vision, who realises the people even further out are completely stagnant. He then morphs from his human costume to his typical Vision-self, flies upward and observes the town, noticing a car at the edge, which he flies down to.

We see Agnes in the car, dressed as a witch and still, but not unresponsive like the others. She tells him she got lost--’In the town you grew up in?--and he zaps her the way he did Norm in the last episode. She recognises him as Vision, an Avenger, but he doesn’t know what an Avenger is. She tells him he’s dead, and explains Wanda’s control, then laughs manically until Vision zaps her again, and she once again becomes the Nosy Neighbour, then turns the car and drives away. We zoom out to the street sign: Ellis Avenue.

Darcy sees Monica’s bloodwork in Hayward’s files, and tells Monica she can’t go back into the Hex as she wishes, because she’s already been through the boundary twice, and had her cells rewritten molecularly--Ms Marvel!! But Monica dismisses it, and tells Darcy she won’t stop until she helps Wanda.

Pietro accuses Wanda laughingly of only avoiding traumatising the town’s children by only bringing them out for a holiday cameo, but praises her, because ‘Families and couples stay together, most personalities aren’t far off from what’s underneath, people got better jobs, better haircuts, for sure,’ and tells her he’s impressed, but asks how she did it, which she doesn’t answer, then tells him she doesn’t know how she did it. She just remembers loneliness, and numbness.

She then looks back to Pietro, and sees him with bullet wounds in his chest; dead the way she saw Vision in episode 4, but she blinks it away.

Darcy watches Hayward’s tracking of Vision, and he approaches the barrier, sees it in all its television glory. Then he pushes through. He strains to make it through, and SWORD agents pull up on the other side. He nearly makes it, cape all that’s left, but it clearly painful, and he falls to the ground. Chunks of him tear off and fly back through the barrier. Meanwhile, Billy realises something is wrong with an echo of Wanda’s power, hearing Vision’s yells, and runs to Wanda.

Hayward handcuffs Darcy to stop her trying to get him to help Vision as he comes apart. Wanda asks Billy where Vision is, to which Pietro says, ‘Hey, don’t sweat it, sis. It’s not like your dead husband can die twice.’ Her eyes turn red and she sends him flying into a haystack. Billy focuses, and sees the SWORD soldiers, says he thinks Vision’s dying, and Wanda freezes everything around her, then sends out a blast of power.

Outside, the boundary of the Hex moves, expanding, and the SWORD agents panic to get away as Vision is re-encapsulated, but Darcy is handcuffed, and t passes over her. The SWORD camp turns into a circus, but Hayward, Monica and Jimmy get away--slightly wondering why Monica tried to when she was trying to get back in.

And the episode ends there. I don’t really have much of a conclusion to this episode--in truth, not too much actually happened aside from Pietro and the twins, but we are so building to the climax. This is also actually furthered by the absence of a laugh track in this episode, though this is also due to the fact they became less common.

And that summarises my breakdown of episodes 4-6. Part 3, with episodes 7-9, will come next week!

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Weird “Movie Star”

Ok, so funny story, I can’t help but notice that as soon as school started, all of my stats went up, so I see you there browsing tumbr in class when you should be paying attention. Ha ha :)

I promised I would start writing more, so here it is the next story. It was a funny idea that I have had for a while, and I hope you like it, or at least find it entertaining. 

The mass operation to move UNSC’s military headquarters had begun shortly after first contact with the Galactic Assembly. They had originally deemed it prudent to move the base completely off world and out of the zone between Mars and earth orbit. So, they had set up headquarters orbiting Europa, which in turn Orbited Jupiter. They had done this mostly for its proximity to the fueling station based on the surface of Europa, and the particle collection operation harvesting from Jupiter’s upper atmosphere.

The U/N.S.C Harbinger landed shortly after operational sunrise using Jupiter’s  gravity well as a way to slow itself down and conserve the fuel used to travel over moderatly short distances. The ships short-range engines used fusion technology to power itself, but required a specific type of hydrogen ion to properly fuel the ignition process, so it was more than a good idea to keep their largest store of space vessels so close.

The crew unloaded all their cargo while Commander Vir took Sunny and Krill to report to the Admiral and other officials on the success of their current orders. He wore his uniform, light grey, pinned at the sides with the wings that signified his ran. He even wore the cap, which is something he tended to avoid wearing. Sunny walked at his right wearing the ceremonial armor that she had inherited from her father and the war staff she had taken as prize from her defeated mother. Krill floated at his left shoulder propelled by a backpack with a small attached motor, worn over a white lab coat he had taken to wearing after the fashion of the humans.

The base itself was teaming with life, men in women in a plethora of uniforms colored to signify their use. Brown coveralls for engineering and maintenance, grey for janitorial. Scientists wore light grey  lab coats while medical staff wore blue scrubs, paired with white coats when the doctors were involved. Commanding officers wore the standard military uniform in light grey.

They caught quite a bit of attention as they passed by despite the occasional glimpse of another alien lifeform working with the crews. Most of the time they would be tesraki, but he occasional Drev could be seen carrying boxes at the direction of a human officer.

They passed through a set of doorways that hissed open with the pressure difference, and into a steel grey hallway that lead down into the administration offices. The place was as austere as the military had preferred for thousands of years. The only decoration could be seen through open doorways and into offices, usually UN flags hung next to metals pinned into velvet backed glass cases and pictures of the officer shaking hands with someone important.  Commander ir had a similar office on the base decorated with an old US flag tattered and scruffy next to the pristine white of the UN logo on the other side. His purple heart and bronze star hung above the desk. For all purposes, it looked like any other office of any other commanding officer in the fleet…. Accept for his desktop background which held a screenshot from the cult classic series Replication, but no one had to know that.

-

They made it to the admiral’s office in good time, and the door was already open and waiting for them. She lifted her head as she heard them approach and stood from her desk holding out a hand. The commander took it with a greeting and stepped back as she greeted sunny with a nod of the head, “General.” before looking at Krill, “Dr.”

Sunny seemed pleasantly surprised that the Admiral had used her title, standing up just a bit straighter. Commander Vir’s fingers brushed over her forearm as if to say see, what did I tell you?

“Admiral.”

“I hope you have good news for me Commander.”

“Only the best, ma’am.” The man responded, “There have been no serious issues to report. All orders are going well, and our men have retaken the prison and returned all the inmates to their cells without complication. A few people died, but I am told most of them were lifers waiting on death row, and despite my slight disagreement the GA does not consider it a great loss.”

The admiral sighed deeply and spun in her chair to look out the window. A magnificent view of Jupiter’s powerful red rings rose up behind her, and Commander Vir couldn’t argue with the aesthetic nature of the image..

“I am glad to hear things seem to be going so well aboard…. To be honest things are…. A little strained here…”

Commander Vir tilted his head in confusion, “In what way?”

She threw up her hands in exasperation, “It is that ongoing issues with the LFIL and the GA. If we want to maintain our good graces with the GA we have to take their side in the issue. Personally, I don’t mind what people choose to do as long as both parties agree.” Her eyes moved across Vir and Sunny quickly, “But as things stand the GA disagrees with my sentiment, so we continue to remain neutral. However, our action, or lack thereof, has caused some issues planet-side. Our recruitment has gone down by almost 60% in the last month. People are shipping off on those Tesraki cruisers for their fill of space rather than join.”

“I am…. Sorry to hear that Admiral, but I am not entirely sure what I can do to help.” 

The woman sighed and stood, coming around the front of the desk, which she parked herself partially seated against, “Before I tell you, I want to make sure you know that you are in no way obligated to agree to this if you don’t want to. We can find some other way to get things done and I wouldn’t blame you, but it would be an unbelievable PR move.”

Commander vir looked on nervously, “Go on.”

“We got a call from an agency on the west cost….. And they want to buy the rights to your life story.”

Sunny would have sword she could hear Adam’s jaw pop out of place as it hinged itself open. He sputtered and gasped for a few minutes “My…. my life story…. Why would they…. What would they want that for?” 

The admiral raised on dark eyebrow, “Come now, Commander. The man who flew on the first manned mission into interstellar space, made first contact with an alien race, fought in the Drev War, and then became Commander of the first interstellar fleet. You’re life story is striking media gold.”

“What agency in California?”

The woman shrugged, “Hollywood Incorporated.”

He nearly choked. Hollywood Inc. was the biggest film cooperation that side of Earth, named for the infamous strip of land which had, two thousand years ago, produced some of the greatest actors of their time.

“I…. I don’t know ma’am.”

“Well, that’s entirely your decision, but I would suggest heading to their Martian office and talk to the director because he is going to keep pestering me until he gets an answer.” 

***

The Hollywood Inc. Office was located just towards the edge of the gravitational strip in the largest city on Mars. Because of its location, the gravitational field was slightly weaker. The children who wandered about where unusually tall for their ages, a fact that Commander Vir couldn’t help but notice as he opened the glass fronted doors and stepped inside.

The interior of the room was gaudy and over the top, lined with hundreds of vintage posters spanning the last two thousand years. He thought he might have seen a batman poster in the far corner that had to be at least two thousand years old encased inside a climate controlled glass case. It must have cost a couple thousand dollars if not more. The rest of the room was decorated in a similar fashion with hundreds of priceless moments of the entertainment industry from years long passed. Another climate controlled case held at least one of the costumes used in the original pirates movie. The thing should have been mostly ash and dust by now but somehow it had maintained its shape.

The three of them stepped up the nauseating checkerboard floor and up towards the reception desk. The woman who sat there looked like the Victorian era had thrown up all over her. He was surprised she could fit behind the desk, or even sit with the sheer amount of petticoats she must have been wearing underneath. He had to clear his throat a few times before she looked up, and when she did she looked positively board, “Can I help you?”

He rubbed his hands together awkwardly, “Um…. i was told to come here…. To meet someone.” She didn’t look particularly impressed at his explanation, so he cleared his throat, “Uh, my name is Commander Adam Vir from the UNSC….” He was cut off quickly as the woman leapt to her feet with a yelp.

“Yes, Yes of course, right this way, he’s been expecting you.” In the next second, he found himself grabbed by the hand and dragged bodily through a door behind the desk, and into a long, and even more lavish hallway. They hurried past a few rooms before she made it to the door, which opened for them, “Mr. Clayton Ellis, He’s here, he’s here.” 

“Wait Clayton E-” His voice trailed away slowly as he looked towards the end of the room and found one of the greatest directors of their time sitting at a horrible tacky golden desk in an overstuffed zebra chair wearing something that made him appear as a prohibition gangster, a powder blue suit with shoulder pads and matching fedora.

This couldn’t be real right? It explained the extravagance though, the man was known for being way over the top even as far as directors and movie producers go. The man stood as soon as he saw them a massive smile playing over his face as he made his way around the desk arms held wide, “Look who it is, the man of the hour, the star, the light at the end of the tunnel.”

“Uh.” Adam said as the man caught him by the hand shaking vigorously. Sunny and Krill exchanged a confused glance. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Mr. Ellis.”

The man waved a hand, which glittered with enough rings to satisfy a king, “Please call me Clayton.” He stood back arms still held wide, “And just look at you mmm mmm perfect main character material, I mean who doesn’t love an eye-patch, just the kind of little piece of personality I would add, you know.”

Commander Vir stood there in bewilderment, “I’m sorry sir, I don’t”

But the man had turned his attention away towards his companions, “And look at this. The quintessential alien sidekicks to our roguish human protagonist….. What a story what a set.”

Sunny couldn’t hold back a snort of derision, “Sidekick, excuse me.”

He turned his head eyes lighting up, “Check that, how about Love interest.” he spread his hands wide above his head as he said it, “Think of the publicity. With all the LFIL stuff going on this would be perfect.” He made  heart with his hands and framed the two of them in it, “I can see it now, the roguish space captain falling in love with this aesthetic exotic-

“Wow…. just hold on a second.” Commander Vir barked, “I haven't agreed to anything just yet, and I thought this was about my life story, about accuracy.”

The man waved a hand, ‘Right, right, right, but let's be honest reality is often disappointing. Sometimes film requires a bit of dramatization.”

Commander Vir crossed his arms, “I beg to differ. Unless you consider being almost brainwashed by sentient-space-vacuum dwelling humanoids boring.”

The man’s eyes flashed greedily, and he hopped up on his desk legs dangling over the floor, “Ok, I see you clearly aren't kidding around here, so I will make you a deal.” He raised his right hand, “I swear to be as accurate as possible, do my research and everything, but you have to understand, you are a national-no planetary hero, no interplanetary. You have the ability to be a role model for thousands of young minds who just eat up this media stuff. You and I can do some real good together.”

Commander Vir shifted his feet on the floor running a hand through his hair. He knew what his family would say. His father would tell them to shove it, his mother would want him to do what made him happy, his brothers would kick his ass if they knew he turned down an offer like this, and well….. The contract he could make with them, the things he could do with the money.

“I would have a few conditions.”

“Of course you would, of course you would.”

“I get royalties, and i'm not talking a measly ten perent, I am talking about thirty, and all of it better end up at a charity or you can color me gone. Plus this isn’t just some excuse to do some intense super action space thing with a ton of drama. I consult, and this thing better be accurate, or I am also gone, and my life story comes with me. Plus, don’t ask about things that are classified because I won’t tell you. Push me and I am gone.”

The man sighed, but waved a hand, “Alright, alright.”

He took another deep breath, “I’m not pausing my job for this, so you are going to have to have to talk to me on my free time. Try to underhand or backstab or go around any of these agreements and consider your ass sued.” Sunny champed her beak together for emphasis, shifting in her massive plate armor. Clearly she had a different idea of litigation than he did, but he would talk to her about that later.

Clayton took his seat back behind his desk again, “You drive a hard bargain there, Commander, but a deal is a deal. I will get the contract to you as soon as things are formalized.

“How long have you been thinking about this?”

The man shrugged “Long enough to have started the casting process. I even hired the man who will be playing you, isn’t that exciting.” 

“You have?”

“Yeah here let me call him out. Keith! You can come out now.” There was a shuffling from behind some of the stuff, and a man made his way out from the other side of the room.

Krill wasn’t particularly impressed, but by the way Adam took a step back it seemed as if he was, “Keith…. J-Jenning.” The man stammered.”

Sunny gave the  human a once over, and immediately didn’t like the casting choice, sure they had similar builds with blond hair and a charming smile, but this guy was….. Well he was a total Deva…. Not that she followed the gossip magazines…. Too much. But just looking at him, with his manicured nails and perfect hair, it just didn’t seem right. She much preferred Adam, rugged, useful, confident in his work, but also not a massive ass.

The man held out a hand, “Commander.” He looked him up and down eyes falling on the eye patch, “How the hell do you see out of that thing.”

Vir paused in his fan boying to look confused…. “Uh…. I don’t, that’s sort of the point.”

The man turned to look at the director, “Do I have to wear one, It would cover like half my face.”

Vir frowned, “No it doesn-”

“Look Keith poles say that women find a man with an eyepatch at least ten percent more attractive than men without one”

The man glanced over at Adam and frowned, “Well…. I guess I’ll need all the help I can get.”

Adam frowned, but before he could say anything a large blue shape had cut in front of him, grabbed the man by the front of the shirt, and lifted him to eye level, “Look here you little weasel, Adam is twice the man you are, and has more honor in one of his little toes than you have in your entire body.” She poked him in the chest with a free claw, “So I would shut the hell up and learn some respect  before I reverse the typography of your face.”  

A hand grabbed her by the elbow “Sunny, put him down.”

“Why he's got insurance on his face.” 

“Sunny, that’s an order.” She let him go with some hesitation grumbling the entire way.

Keith hit the ground with a hand around his neck . From behind them clayton began to clap slowly, “Bravo, bravo, what a show, what an act, such emotion, such loyalty. That really was deeply moving , you feel that Keith, you feel the sexual tension.”

“What.”

“Hey-”

The two men ignored them as keith rubbed his neck ,”I felt SOMETHING alright.” 

Clayton stood walking in a slow circle around sunny prodding at her armor, and her carapace, “Now ths, this is interesting, quick do something else intimidating.” 

Sunny growled.

“Oh yes, I have the perfect casting choice for you Rita Ortiz.”

Sunny tilted her head thoughtfully and couldn’t help but nodding. The actress was mostly known for  her roles in action movies somehow managed to dodge the romantic arcs that film still can’t let go of. She was cool, Sunny liked her.”

With a critical eye the director turned to look at Krill, who watched, uninterested and unimpressed, “How about you little fella.”

The Vrul remained standing arms crossed, “I think this is stupid, i think you’re stupid, and I thinnk he.” Pointing at Keith, “Is especially stupid. IF you just look at his eyes you’ll know he is a terrible casting choice. I mean look at him you can hardly expect someone with the pain threshold of a ballsack to play a decorated war hero.” 

That didn’t really get the response Krill had intended and had the man in stitches laughing on the on his desk, “The comic relief, I get it now.” “Wait, no I’m not-”

“We will be in touch commander, I look forward to working with you and your hilarious friends. Come on Keith, lets go call the studio, this is going to be big.” Commander Vir barely had time to react as the two men left them standing in the center of the room with confused expressions.

“This…. This is going to be a disaster.” Krill commented in the following quiet.

Sunny gave a sigh, “That should be the title of your autobiography.” She said nudging Adam on the shoulder.

“Yeah and yours should be Sidekick.” He said smugly.”

“Hey!”

He sighed then.

“You’re probably right though, this is going to be a disaster.” 

[crazycat-88]

Male Orc Raum x Female Reader Part 1 (SFW)

Here’s my second contribution to the OkCryptid Collab, created by the amazing @thetravelerwrites.

Its the third story in my series Modern Monsters: In the City. Since its Orctober I wanted to do a story featuring an orc.

Wordcount: 2,665

Please enjoy!

You had download the monster/human dating app, OkCryptid, months ago. You’d spoken to some nice people and had gone on a few dates; The first was with a great big Minotaur, who was only interested in a fling. The second was with another human, who also wasn’t interested in anything serious. And the third and last, was with a fae, who was a total pompous ass. You had returned home from that date, very unhappy and swearing off all men for the foreseeable future.

You hadn’t however deleted the app from your phone. Despite your experience with the app so far, you still had hope that you would eventually meet someone with the same desire to be in an actual relationship.

You wake up one morning with a notification from OkCryptid, you have a match and a message from a user named Raum. Opening up the app, you see that it’s a relatively high match, and go to check his profile before reading the message.

Straight away you see that Raum is an orc, his profile picture is a picture of his face, and he’s wearing a great big grin. He’s light green in colour, with big brown eyes and brown shoulder length hair which is braided with lots of beads. His twin tusks are relatively short for an orc, decorated with a gold ring on each, and you see that he has them capped. He looks very handsome, you think to yourself.

You’re disappointed to find he doesn’t have any other pictures and reading his bio, you find it short. He claims to love children and dogs and it also says that he’s looking for someone to settle down with. Sounds like your kind of man. Checking your messages you see that he’s sent you a greeting and asks if you would like to chat. Deciding you do, you fire off a response.

You: Hi, Raum. I’d definitely like to chat! How are you this morning?

Needing to get ready for work, you leave your phone on your bed and go shower. Upon returning, you find that Raum has replied to your message.

Raum: I’m really good thanks! Happy to hear back from you… How are you today?

You: I’m okay, getting ready to go to work, so could be better haha.

Getting dressed, you hurry and grab some breakfast, before running out the door. While you don’t hate your job, it's not what you really want to do, just a means to an end. Work drags, but once your on your lunch break, you’re pleased to see another message from Raum.

Raum: Ah well… I hope you have a good day. I’ve got to get to work myself but message me tonight?

You wonder what he does for a job, but decide to wait until tonight to message him. Once you get home that evening you feel exhausted, deciding to order take-out instead of cooking something, you get out your phone to order online. That done, you open the Okcryptid app to message Raum.

You: Evening. That’s me home. Did you have a good day at work?

Waiting for his reply, you throw your head back closing your eyes, feeling like all you want to do is sleep. It’s not long before you hear you phone buzz, struggling to open your eyes, you see a message from Raum.

Raum: I did, thank you. Did you?

You: It was alright, tiring… So, what do you for work?

Raum: I work in a nursery, for three-four year old children. Tiring but really fun :-) What about you?

You spend the rest of the night chatting to Raum about your jobs, you tell him what you’d rather be doing and he encourages you to follow your heart. He tells you that he only started working with children the year before, when he got his qualifications, and before that he worked as a doorman at a bar. He says it was always his dream to work with children though, as an older brother and cousin, he would look after all the younger orcs and he found he enjoyed it so much he wanted to do it for a living.

Over the next two weeks, you and Raum send messages back and forth, chatting daily. Some days it’s just to say good morning, sending funny memes and saying goodnight, other days you chat at length, about a variety of topics. While you’re really happy he’s taking his time getting to know you, it’s got to the point where you really want to meet him. Deciding to make the first move, you send a message asking if he would like to meet up for a drink and he replies almost immediately.

Raum: I would love that! Have anywhere specific in mind?

You: I know of a great bar called The Bears Den, if that suits?

Raum: Haha! I know it too and if you don’t mind, I'd rather not meet you there... Not only am I a former employee but my two little cousins work there and we’d never get any peace…

You: Ah… fair enough, haha. Where would you recommend then?

Eventually you arrange to meet that evening at a smaller bar called The Boneyard Bar. You thought it had a bit of a strange name but if Raum recommended it, you assumed it must be good. Just to be safe, you text your best friend the name and address of the bar and she tells you to stay safe.

That evening the weather is warm and the sun is still shining, so you decide to walk to the bar. Your feeling relatively calm you think as you gaze around the streets, watching all the different types of non-humans walk by. You were expecting to feel anxious about meeting him when you first asked, but you’re actually just really excited about meeting him in person finally.

As you’re approaching the bar, you see an orc standing waiting outside, who you assume must be Raum. Turning his head your way, he spots you and grins widely waving. He looks really good you think, wearing tight black jeans and a t-shirt with a band logo, you don’t recognise. You see that he’s shorter than most orcs you’ve seen, standing at around six foot. He looks lean and fit but not as muscular as those you’ve seen down the gym. You’re happily surprised by this and return his wide grin with one of your own.

‘‘Hi, Raum,’’ you say, ‘It’s nice to meet you in person.’’

‘‘Hey, likewise,’’ he replies. You watch as he scans you head to toe and swallows thickly. ‘‘You look beautiful.’’

‘‘Thank you. You look really good too,’’ you smirk. ‘‘Shall we go in?’’

Nodding, he opens the door and holds it open for you, indicating for you to go ahead. When you enter the bar, you see that it’s quiet with only a few patrons. The atmosphere is really nice though and the bar has clearly been decorated by someone who has good taste. Serving behind the bar is a vampire, who likes he’s just walked out of the eighteenth century and a gnoll that has a rip in his ear.

The gnoll greets Raum by name and swiftly gets your order. Finding a table, you sit down and smile a Raum.

‘‘So… Come here often?’’ You say, laughing.

Laughing, he replies, ‘‘Only about once a week, they have a quiz night here every Friday, before the karaoke.’’

‘‘Do you sing?’’ You ask questionly, sipping at your drink.

‘‘Oh no, not me. I can’t sing, a few of my mates do though and they’re really good,’’ he replies. ‘‘You should come join us one night.’’

‘‘I don’t know... it sounds a bit like a boys night.’’

‘‘Not at all,’’ he exclaims, his nose scrunching up in a way you find adorable. ‘‘There's usually five of us in our group and two of those are women,’’ he adds.

‘‘Well alright then, maybe I will one night,’’ you chuckle.

You spend the evening chatting, he tells you about the children he works with and how they make it laugh. Then about his dog buster, a great big dobermann, who thinks he’s a lapdog. You tell him about your work and about the people you work with. The night goes really well and it’s undoubtedly the best date you’ve been on in a long time.

The first date soon leads into a second, where you go to the beach and then a third date where he takes you to see a theatre show. Soon you’re on the fourth date, for which he’s asked if you would like to go to the quiz night at the bar and meet his friends. You agree and tell him you’ll meet him there.

When you get to the bar, you see Raum is already sitting at a table and beside him is the gnoll you recognise as the barman you saw on your first date and another orc, this one a girl. It looks to you, like their having an intense conversation as Raum is leaning over the table, scowling at the female orc and pointing at her. Your a bit taken aback by this, as you’ve never seen Raum with a scowl on his face. Walking over to join them, Raum looks up and when he notices you, he gives you a huge grin.

Standing when you reach the table, he pulls you into a hug and kisses your cheek, one of his tusks scraping your ear slightly. Sitting on a chair beside him, he introduces you to the two at the table. The gnoll is called Kert and he explains he’s just on his break and that he’s the one who will be quizzing you all. The orc is called Britt and she introduces herself as Raum’s cousin, which surprises you as Raum never mentioned anything about meeting a family member.

You’re soon joined by the rest of the group, a friendly satyre who introduces himself as Ixi, a fully transformed werewolf who hugs you straight away, giggling and introducing herself as Emily and finally a demon with six eyes and four arms, who appears more reserved, introducing himself as Pepin. They make an interesting looking group you think to yourself.

You all make light conversation until Kert gets up and says that he has to get back to work, warning you all that the quiz will start in five minutes. Britt suddenly points to you and says that she hopes you’re good at quizzes, you make a so-so gesture and she huffs. You find the orc a bit intimidating to be honest, she’s twice the size of Raum and looks a lot tougher too.

‘‘Don’t mind her,’’ Emily laughs, ‘‘She just really likes winning and we hardly ever do. The group of gargoyles over there, pretty much always win,’’ she says, pointing over to the group in the corner. Looking to where she pointed you see a group of eight gargoyles.

‘‘I really hate those guys,’’ Britt exclaims scowling with her fist clenched. You smile seeing Pepin rolling is six eyes at her.

‘‘Isn’t there a limit to how many can be in a group?’’ You ask, you see Ixi shaking his head but it’s Raum who explains.

’’No. You can play along with any number of people, it’s really not that serious, prize is a free drink for every member in the group.’’

’’It’s time guys,’’ Emily says, sitting up straighter. You hear a hush comes over the bar and looking over to the stage you see Kert up there fiddling with the microphone.

‘‘Alright folks, hope you have your pens and paper ready because it’s time to start… First question; Which sign of the zodiac is represented by the scales?’’ He asks.

A brief discussion and then Ixi, who has control of the pen, is writing down the answer. There’s twenty questions in total, a mix of easy and difficult ones but your team has got an answer for each noted down. You even manage to answer a few of the questions, when the others get stuck. At the end, Kert goes around all the tables collecting the answer sheets.

‘‘I’m glad you joined us tonight,’’ Emily says, looking at you. ‘‘You were a big help.’’

‘‘Thanks,’’ you say, smiling as Raum half hugs you and gives you a grin.

Your team ends up losing to the gargoyles by one point, and the group groans. Britt swears and bangs her fist on the table.

‘‘Calm down,’’ Emily giggles nervously, ‘‘It’s just a game.’’

Soon the karaoke starts and Ixi is the first one up on the stage, as with most of the satyres you’ve encountered he’s really talented and holds a note well. Emily and Britt join him up on stage for the second song, and Britt surprises you with how good she is. Raum leans down to tell you that Britts’ always been gifted musically and is the lead singer of her band.

Britt and Ixi sing the next one together, some slow ballad, and Raum pulls you up to dance. As you’re swaying along to the song, you laugh as Raum leans down to nuzzle at your neck, lifting you slightly, so that your feet aren’t even on the floor. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch Pepin watching you both with a sad smile and you make a mental note to mention it to Raum later.

As the night comes to a close, Raum says he’ll walk you home. Pepin has already left but you say goodnight to the others, getting another hug from Emily. Outside it’s dark and cold, and as you shiver, Raum tucks you into his side with his arm around your shoulder.

‘‘Did you have a good night?’’ He asks.

‘‘I did, I really like your friends,’’ you say, hoping that they really liked you too. ‘‘I wasn’t expecting to meet your cousin though.’’

‘‘Oh… yeah. Sorry about that,’’ he replies, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. ‘‘I probably should've warned you about that eh?’’ You just nod and he continues, ‘‘I think she really likes you though.’’

‘‘Really?’’ you say dubiously, ‘‘She spent most of night scowling at me.’’

‘‘That’s just her resting face,’’ he chuckles. ‘‘Seriously, she likes you for sure and I think you even managed to impress her.’’

You chuckle in response, then remember the quiet demon. Looking up at Raum, you ask, ‘‘What was up with Pepin? He was really quiet and seemed sad half the night.’’

‘‘He’s always quiet, but he’s been having a difficult time recently. Him and his partner broke up a couple of weeks ago,’’ he says sadly.

‘‘Oh… that’s a shame.’’

Raum nods and squeezes you tighter to his side. ‘‘So… I was thinking… and you can say it’s too soon but I have to go home next weekend, it’s my brothers eighteenth… and I was wondering if you wanted to... come with me?’’ he says nervously, looking somewhere over your shoulder.

You consider it for a moment. It is rather soon to be meeting his family, but you really do like him and it means you’ll get to spend the whole weekend with him.

‘‘I’d like that, sure.’’ you say.

‘‘Really? You’ll come with me?’’ he says, looking at you, grinning in surprise.

‘‘Yeah, sounds like fun,’’ you smile. Reaching your front door, you turn to say goodnight. You see Raum is still looking surprised at your willingness to go away with him. ‘‘I had a really good time tonight, thanks for inviting me,’’ you say.

‘‘That’s good, I’m really glad you came and that you had a good time,’’ he smiles.

Stretching up to give him a kiss, you wish him a good night and say you’ll see him soon. He gives you a crushing hug and kisses you again. Telling you to sleep well, you watch as he turns around and heads home.

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Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this, don’t forget to reblog. Likes/Comments are also appreciated. 

My Masterlist

[elle-boll]

Backstage - John Deacon

A fic??? On this blog??? Pshhhhhh...

So uh, yeah, I am just making one. All my Roger content and all hopes of continuity are gone, whoopsie, appears I am just lazy. But this is a nightly post from yours truly, and I hope you enjoy some awkward Deaky!!!

Summary: A night at a Queen concert lands you and your best friend backstage, however only one of you is getting action...the other is left to some awkwardness backstage

Warnings: Mentions of sex (no explicit writing!) and some swearing :”)

Word Count: 2K 

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It was a late Summer’s evening, in the back of the taxi was you and your best friend, Cindy, both chatting with excitement. You were both pulling out handheld mirrors to check your hair. Two pit tickets were nestled in your pocket and you both had a plan devised to make it to the barrier. In her words, she wanted to feel the spit on her face, graphic indeed. The pair of you could barely hold back your giggles as the taxi parked outside the venue, a wad of cash in your hand as you passed it into the front seat.

You both sweaty as you had ran to the barricade, pushing past people but not slow enough to be pushed back behind them. Your hands clasped around the fence as you both stared at one another in disbelief. You both laughed between deep breaths, trying to come back around to yourself, to prepare yourselves. The stage was almost in arm’s reach but your hands just grasped the barrier instead, determined not to be pushed behind the hoards of equally eager fans. The venue lights shone down on the audience as the lights on the stage turned on suddenly, you could practically feel your heart leaping from your chest. 

Throughout the night, you both clung onto each other and sang till your throats felt red raw and sore. Your legs felt weak from jumping around and your arms were tired trying to reach out to Freddie as he pranced around the stage. Your eyes had gone to the very back of the stage to see Roger, his eyes, while on his set, were also in your direction, but not at you. You turned to Cindy and made a comment along the lines of; “I think he likes you!” but you both just cackled at the idea of the drummer of Queen staring at your best friend, and so did she.

The concert had ended with a bang, you could feel your sweat dripping off your forehead and you saw Cindy had teary eyes, you just laughed and took her into your arms, still cheering. You both went to make it to the exit, exhilarated and slowly coming off the concert high when a hand had tapped Cindy’s shoulder. A large man in a suit like uniform had tapped her.

“Sorry ma’am but I’ve been asked to bring you backstage if you have the time?” He asked, holding out an ‘All Access’ pass to her. She turned her head to you with utter shock on her face, but you stared at the man instead. 

“I’m afraid she won’t be goin’ anywhere without her personal bodyguard' You smirked, hearing her snicker slightly. He turned slightly and spoke into a radio attached to his chest pocket, you noticed the logo of a security service embroidered onto his sleeve. He nodded, requesting you both follow him, opening the barrier to let you in. You overheard a few comments made by passersby, some rude, some intrigued.

The backstage was bustling with life, electricians, security, cleaners, all the sorts were rushing around after the concert. You walked down towards a hall in the venue, presumably to the dressing room. 

“Down that hall, no turns just straight on, there’s a communal area, make yourself comfy” He gestured down the hall as he stopped outside a door with the name, “Taylor, Roger” written in scrawly writing with a smiley face next to it on a small whiteboard. You gave Cindy a hug, fixing up her hair and the mascara that had trailed under her eyes, before wishing her luck.

“Pharmacies are open late, so we can grab Plan B” You winked, laughing as you walked down the hallway into the communal area. It was a few couches with a table of water bottles and some empty bowls on it. They must’ve gorged on the snacks before the show or directly after. There was also a large metal container with a label on it; “HOT WATER!!!” and a plastic jug of milk next to it, there was barely any milk left...but just enough for a cup of tea.

You walked over to the table, helping yourself, trying to down some of the water simultaneously to ease your aching throat. You carefully sipped the tea, careful not to scorch your tongue. You placed it back on the table, leaving it to cool, turning around and seeing someone walk in. You were frozen in place as the man looked to you. It was John Deacon, the real bloody John Deacon. You coughed and awkwardly stood yourself up a bit straighter.

“Uhh, if you’re here for Rog...his room’s down there?” He stated, a tone of confusion in his voice, standing just as awkwardly as you were. 

“Is Roger’s girly there!?” You heard someone yell down the hallway, you shook your head frantically and moved your hand over your neck, to say no. “Uh, no, Fred...just a girl, are you lost o- OH! You’re the friend that’s with the girl, ah right, right, well…” He clasped his hands together, the sound of shoes rushing down the hall became louder.

“Hello, love!” Freddie popped around the corner, making his way over, holding his arms out. He looked at you as though he’s known you for years, “I’m Freddie, Freddie Mercury, lovely to meet you!” He introduced. His smile was wide as he hugged you, placing a kiss on each of your cheeks before squeezing you. 

“I hope he’s not been bothering you too long...did you even say hello, John? God, so rude” He tutted, barely even waiting for John to reply.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost, dear, I do look dreadful right after a performance” He laughed, you tried to not look like a massive fan, trying to be casual. 

“Th-The show tonight...it was fantastic” You smiled, and smiled wider when he pouted gently, placing a hand on his chest. “You’re too sweet dearie, even after Brian’s slip-up,  hm?” He questioned.

“Will you ever shut up about that!” You heard a yell further down. You laughed, glancing over Freddie’s shoulder to see John still looking at you, but turning away when you both made eye contact. You took the styrofoam cup of tea and took a small sip. Freddie had walked to land himself on the couch, sighing loudly as he placed an arm over his eyes.

“I could sleep for a fucking eternity!” He announced, you were still going crazy inside. You looked to John and saw him trying to be subtle as he looked at you. You really regretted settling for one of your brother’s loose button-up shirts and a pair of old bell bottoms, ‘artistically’ stained with paint.

“John, your um, your performance was amazing, you were really good, I was actually like, directly by you, in the audience, I mean” You stammered, watching his head pipe up at the mention of his name. He laughed quietly, waving his hand dismissively. “Just doing what I do every night” He smiled, his face slightly red. He was probably just really warm.

“Why does my room have to be next to Rogers?! I just wanna change without hearing him shag!” A man yelled as he walked into the room, lanky legs carrying him in. It was Brian May. His hair looked great up close, was all you could think of when you saw him. “Fuckin’ disgusting, Deaky can get the room next to Roger and his birds next time” Brian muttered, barely even registering you were there, but when he did, you saw his face fall. 

“Ah, I am really sorry, I usually don’t burst out like that” He apologised, you heard the other two sniggering. He held his hand out, “Brian” He introduced, firmly shaking it. They all seemed so humble. 

“That bird is my friend, Cindy, she’s a big fan as well, she actually cried at the end of the concert,” You told them, going to sit down on the couch, watching as they awaited more from you. You decided to tell them about yourself for a few minutes.

John had sat next to you and Brian had pushed Freddie to the other end of the couch that he was hogging to himself. Freddie appeared half asleep but still intent on listening to you.

“I’ve been to a few concerts, and a lot of pub gigs, and most of the time, Cindy gets taken to the back, we do have a reputation for making it to the barricade...it’s a bit weird to be in the shadows while she takes the limelight, of course she’s gorgeous and I am so proud to call her my best friend, but yeah...I don’t know where I was going with this” You rubbed your temples, laughing a little to try to conceal the fact that you were a little disappointed or upset. 

“I think you’re gorgeous...and I don’t think you need a guitarist or a singer to validate that” John piped up, your head turning to see him, his hair tossed behind his shoulder. You smiled kindly at him, chuckling a little as your face went red. A small ‘thank you’ passed your lips, trying not to giggle. The room had gone silent and in that, there was a series of noises from the dressing rooms, everyone cringed a little. 

It was a few minutes later, Freddie had passed out, his legs sprawled onto Brian’s lap, who also seemed to have fallen asleep. John and you had just begun to talk, the more you talked, the less awkward it seemed to feel. You had sat on the couch in a way that your body faced John, and he had scooted slightly closer but kept his hands to himself. “How long’s it been?” You chuckled, he looked down at his sleeve. “Only forty minutes...you know, I’ve seen a lot of girls get taken backstage by a particular member at our shows, and I’ve never seen someone else tag along, I’m glad that it fills the silence” He smiled, but as he finished his sentence. His lips opened as though he was about to say something else but as he did, a door was unlocked and down the hall, Roger and Cindy walked out together. 

Her hair was frizzy and her cheeks were flushed, she walked slower than she usually did. Her mascara was all under her eyes and her clothes were dishevelled. His hair was a tangled mess and he had a slight smirk on his face, whispering things to her as they approached the communal area. 

“Need a trip to the pharmacy?” You raised a brow, watching her say ‘ha-ha’ before she came and held her hand out to you, to pick you up off the couch. You let her drag you up onto your feet and saw John suddenly stand up, looking at you. You turned to look at him and he cleared his throat.

“We’re in the area for the next few days...if you’re free?” He asked, his tone going back to that awkward one he had when he first saw you in that room. You smiled at him, “Do you have any paper? I’ll give you my number, in case you do have some free time”.

Cindy and you were escorted out by security, who held the shoulder of Cindy as she seemed a bit...weak. 

“Had fun?” You teased, laughing at her as you both made your way down to the pharmacy, which was still open. “Y/N, I’m never gonna have sex better than that...at least not for a bit” She pulled a piece of tissue paper out of her pocket, with a number scrawled on it in whiteboard marker. You both cheered and laughed, still giddy when you bought some over-the-counter Plan B.

[davidmann95]

All-Star Superman #2

A scant year to the day since part 1!

All evidence to the contrary I actually have always wanted to go back to this, especially since I keep getting asked if I’ll do so and it stirs my omnipresent sense of guilt over my lack of productivity, and also the last year has not resulted in a mass turnaround of people realizing it’s a for-real good book and not just comfort food so this remains necessary. This isn’t going to be quite as in-depth as the first go-around - both that as the introductory issue and that as the introductory recap had a lot of groundwork to lay - but still plenty to cover, as this issue sets up Lois and Superman’s arcs for the series, which is rooted (amazingly, especially right off the bat, given the book’s reputation of being about how amazing Superman is) in how badly Superman’s let his fears and shortsightedness poison the most important relationship in his life.

If the first issue is the big classic Superman material - Superman saving the day from the monster! Lois and Clark and the rest of the Daily Planet crew! Lex Luthor’s sinister schemes! A ticking clock to doom! - this scales all the way down to the uncomfortably, stiflingly intimate. Classic archetypal Superman stuff gives way to the most Silver Age issue: casual huge ideas, relationship drama, misunderstandings, last-minute reveals that recontextualize the entire issue, and baaaarely latent psychodrama bubbling up at the edges. In service of that the visual framing here is not unlike a stage play, a limited set of physically connected locales as a pair of figures bounce off one another. Quitely and Grant’s work is therefore comparatively subdued next to issue #1, keeping to traditional panel layouts and wide or medium shots with a background color palate of mostly blacks and whites and grays with a handful of other colors popping out...until Lois starts to lose her shit at the end of the issue and we get close-ups and full black and white panels and eerie glowing and dutch angles and that unsettling abstract image of her clenched teeth, as the story starts to squeeze us like Lois’s gut.

She’s right to be unsettled for that matter; she’s alone on Superman’s turf (the one issue where that’s the case other than #6, and that one’s about how Smallville stopped being his home), the weird antiseptic alien lair of the ultimate super-hobbyist, and all the baggage of their relationship is spilling out into the open as she has less and less reason to think the best of this odd man who’s been lying to her for years. Unlike the Silver Age tales this is referencing, she’s absolutely on the money with her complaints about him: he’s been dicking around with her forever and thinks it can all be okay now (His little “What?” on the second page when she bursts his bubble says it all), and he’s awkwardly overcompensating trying to fix it.

While the Fortress tour serves to peacefully acclimate us to how utterly bizarre Superman’s world really gets past the traditional rescues (the little cubic starfield we don’t know the meaning of yet, trophies are floating rather than physically suspended, the glowing flowers in Lois’s room, “The Phantom Zone map room’s pretty dull unless you can see radio-negative anti-waves”), Superman himself is...humblebragging isn’t the right way of putting it, but it feels like he’s working way, way harder than he ever will again in this book to be cool and impressive and assuring. He’s a dope in love, but he can tell something’s up and that super-brain of his isn’t putting the obvious pieces together, or noticing that this is just putting her off further and further until, like Bluebeard’s wife before her, she stumbles through the threshold of the door she was never meant to, even of course in the end he’s still Superman and there’s a perfectly good reason. Not a good enough reason, however, for her accusations at dinner to not hit home - his mind may be expanding, but he’s still way up his own ass here in a genuinely unpleasant way that’ll be elaborated on momentarily. For now he’s left stammering that she should trust him and it’s limp and phony, especially compared to his big entreaty for someone to trust him in #10 (which’ll be right after he finally comes clean with her); while Superman may not be considered a savior figure by his friends in here the way he often is in the mainline comics Lois seems to be the only one who doesn’t look up to him at least a little bit, but that clarity means she’ll call him out where no one else will.

Across the next two pages it’s all laid out, and we get to the roots of where things have gone wrong between the two of them. Lois is paranoid, certainly, the panels are literally squeezing in on her, but with Superman seeming so out-there and alien like never before she would have every right to be even sans alien chemicals. But notably there remains throughout a part of her assuming the best of him wondering if maybe this is just another big misunderstanding or that he’s simply been mutated by the solar overexposure. And in her heart of hearts, she admits that maybe she wants this to be another big damn trick with a completely sensible justification, because the alternative is that this is the new normal and she has to accept that he’s a flawed mortal man. It’s ugly and it’s mean - especially since she likes Clark - and it’s human as hell in the worst, most understandable way. It’s not going to be until said mortality is staring her in the face that she’ll be able to accept it.

Superman, meanwhile...someone could write a thesis on these panels as an articulation of the Superman/Clark dynamic. The Mirror of Truth is actually preexisting, centerpiece of a Jerry Siegel/Curt Swan joint in Action Comics #269 that was later adapted into the Superman newspaper strip where Lois uses it to figure out Superman is Clark Kent until he tricks her into believing the mirror can lie, after which he tosses it in a volcano; here it’s survived, and curiously shows him as Superman rather than Clark, when in the original tale it displayed Kent even though that was fully the era of Clark as a disguise. In here too it’s Superman who’s the ‘true’ identity of the two and which this time is reflected in the mirror, yet as in #1 it’s Clark who says what he’s truly feeling. In that light, the final panel of the abandoned glasses reads like nothing so much as Superman using the mirror as affirmation that the truth of the solemn, steadfast Superman identity gives him licence to deny the uncomfortable emotions his squishy human farmboy side is dredging up, ‘lying’ to him in a way he had to fake in the source material. Those emotions however knock right on the door of what he can’t grasp here: Clark’s so wrapped up in his own head trying to do the ‘right’ thing that he’s overlooking how his attempts at self-sacrificing selflessness are hurting the people around him. Throughout the series he’ll come to rely on others, first at his lowest points with Jimmy and the Bizarros, until at last he comes to invest true trust in Lois, and the Kandorians, and Leo Quintum, and even Lex.

For now though Lois is deep in a hole, a brief but memorable meeting with the Unknown Superman of 4500AD - everything Superman seems to be becoming to her even before she wonders if it’s literally him, cryptic and masked and with a big ‘ol question mark right on his chest instead of the familiar comforting logo, even his gutbuster of a question reinforcing his distance from a recognizable human experience - leading her all the way to reimagining her Silver Age ideal happy ending of marriage and family with Superman as a Cronenbergian horror. It’s still a Superman story, it turns out he had the very best reason possible for wanting to keep her in the dark, but right through to the end he remains just a little condescending in his reassurance, and his gift of essentially bringing her up to his ‘level’ isn’t going to solve the problem. While the next issue lets us see the two of them properly in love, it won’t be until the elephant in the room comes out that they can come to terms.

Additional notes

* God Quitely is so good. Look at the way the seatbelt curves in the first panel! Lois’s bemused little disbelieving smirk!

* Pages 2-3: Aurora Borealis?!

* Lois is the only character other than Superman who gets to have actual narration (in both cases as looks at their in-text writing), the only one whose viewpoint is thus privileged in the same way as his.

* The key is the realization of this series’ aesthetic in a nutshell: the old-school idea in a sleek, shiny, clever new way that doesn’t take away from the fantastical toyeticness of it all. For that matter, the key is the centerpiece of a later bit with Superman that could be fairly described as the long-term goal of the book book as Morrison’s hoped-for perennial: “One day some future man or woman will open that door, with that key. When they do, I want them to know how it felt to live at the dawn of the age of superheroes.”

* This is A. The first note of a larger DC universe existing offscreen, something that I’ll go into more when discussing #8, B. A brilliant, concise, fun little summation of his place in Superman’s world, and C. Absolutely hilarious given Morrison suggested in his exit interview that this could be seen as much later on in the same universe as All-Star Batman & Robin The Boy Wonder, which entirely rewrites the tone of that moment.

* Already discussed the key but the muscles in Superman’s hand tensing a bit at picking it up is another great detail.

* The glimpse of the Fortress here is excellent: the statues of his friends and enemies instead of pictures because he does things bigger with the yellow electric something crackling at the end of it, the off-model but curious-looking robot appearing to glance at Kandor (are it and the bigger robot with the seats on top of it trophies, or Superman Robots with different designs tasked for specific purposes?), the classic Bad Penny Good For One Crime, the Legion time bubble that establishes his time-traveling credentials for later, the Titanic where he and Lois will dine when their relationship hits a proverbial iceberg, and most strikingly the space shuttle Columbia, his apparent rescue of which I have to imagine is a reference to Astro City’s Superman analogue Samaritan debuting by averting the Challenger disaster.

* It’s next issue that has my actual favorite Superman/Lois moment of all time, but “When we’re married fifteen years, when I’m sagging and he looks just the same, will he still meet me and say things like...” “These are for you. I picked them on Alpha Centauri 4.” is right up there.

* The technological aesthetic of the Fortress is so different than P.R.O.J.E.C.T., sleek and solid and cleanly-lit and antiseptic, beautiful and advanced but a little cold in its own way. As stuffed with wonder as this place may be, there’s something hauntingly empty about it, suiting both the tone of the issue and as a physical embodiment of Superman’s emotional state. The one part that goes against it is the forbidden room, it even has beakers and test tubes to sell the mad scientist vibe...though if you were to stretch it, it much more close resembles the human technology seen at P.R.O.J.E.C.T., and this is meant as a gift for one.

* The cosmic anvil made it along with the key into the CWverse, Lois used it in Elseworlds! I may not be expecting All-Star quality from the upcoming Superman and Lois, but it’s good to know the powers that be are using it as a reference point (beyond how it inspired Supergirl’s take on Cat Grant, a connection I discussed in a post that seems to have vanished into thin air). The whole page is perfect, Superman at his most joyfully benign and beautiful and godlike; it’s the one bit where Lois’s skepticism cracks a touch watching him feed his adorable little Lovecraftian abomination from beyond the stars.

* While he never appears physically aside from a statue Brainiac hovers over this series from beginning to end in name and deed, the ominous ultimate enemy of Superman’s past, the great trial overcome even as the scars forever remain. Morrison mentioned in the exit interview that he didn’t appear in here because he and Quitely already used him as the villain of JLA: Earth 2, but that if he had it would have borrowed Superman: The Animated Series’ take on him as a Kryptonian AI gone rogue. Personally I like his place in here as-is, a little totem parallel to the Justice League references indicating the breadth of Superman’s history between putting on the cape and Luthor’s final scheme.

* A pair of minor notes: Lois points at Superman with the pointy fork when asking him pointed questions, and while it’s not immediately clear on first read she does in fact ask the Unknown Superman exactly 3 questions (“Kal Kent?” “Will Superman and I ever marry and have children?” “What do you mean?”) before he replies with his own, as promised.

* “Oww.” and “Tickles.” literally could not be more perfect Superman moments.

* Worth taking a moment to marvel at just how many future plot elements are seeded here. There’s the obvious bit of Superman thinking about having a partner setting up the next issue, but we also for issue #6 have our first look at Kal Kent and Lois wondering “What if (the Unknown Superman) was really (Superman)?” when Clark will indeed pose as him, for #10 we get our first look at Qwewq, and for #11 not only is the Sun-Eater introduced but so is Robot 7′s malfunction as a result of Luthor’s tampering.

* The structure of the series according to Morrison is a solar cycle, beginning and ending at midday with nightfall in the center. If last issue was the sun at its brightest we begin the descent here, with Superman remaining larger-than-life and ultimately trustworthy but with his classic persona and habits held to an additional, unflattering degree of scrutiny.

[toku-explained]

The Darkest Swordsman

Z: GAFJ have developed D4 from Barabas' horn, a dimension destroying weapon, and have ordered it's installation in King Joe STORAGE Custom, the installation overseen by Yuki Mai. The Maintenance team make clear from the start they are against this, and the main squad are clearly against it as well, and the Director makes clear he is against using D4 as well, but orders have come down, he's not well, and Celebro encounters him. When Kelbim arrives, drawn by the energy at the initial test site, it quickly heads to where the next D4 weapon is, and the Director brings down the orders from on high to use only King Joe STORAGE Custom and make use of D4, even as more Kelbim descend from the sky and hatch. It's pretty obvious what has happened to the Director, but it's not outright shown. In defiance of orders, Hebikura dispatched Haruki in Windom, but even as they take out one another spawns, and Z is forced to come out. As they continue more appear and Yuka detects the Mother Kelbim in space. Z Delta Rise Claw goes to face it, but even as it wins the numbers become to much and Yoko is forced, out of desperation, to use D4. The attack does take out the Kelbim, but the dimensional collapse keeps spreading, only being stopped by Z. Hebikura makes clear he is angry about all of this, and Yuki Mai seems to have ideas about Ultraman's power. But the big this this time is, as every single member of STORAGE, the entire maintenance team lead by Bako, Yuka, Yoko, Haruki and Hebikura defies GAFJ orders, and the entire unit is being dissolved.

Ultra 6 Brothers The Live: I laid actual money to watch this, since it seems to tie into The Absolute Conspiracy. After Nice warms the crowd up, the story introduces us to Baltan Seijin Baruru, a child alone on a world save for his robot friend. Baruru seems to remember his grandfather, but that's it. One day Red King, Hellberus, Astromons and Giestron rampage, and Man, Seven, Zoffy, Hikari and 80 arrive to stop them. Afterwards the brother discuss why the Kaiju are acting out before all but Ultraman leave. He meets Baruru and befriends him before leaving, asking the robot to look out for him, and after it's gone Baruru and the robot plan to plant a flower, when a gang of Valkie Seijin, Magma Seijin and Zarab Seijin arrive, and start beating up Baruru, calling Hellberus back to assist. The Robot, inspired by Ultraman's words, fights back and does a decent job until losing power, but as more Kaiju come the day is saved by the arrival of the Ultra 6 Brothers. Zoffy fights Zarab, Man fights Red King, Seven fights Valkie, Jack takes Giestron, Ace battles Hellberus, Taro deals with Magma. After the brothers win, they save the Robot and leave, Baruru and his companion continue their journey, but in the end Baruru walks away from the robot, which continues the other way with the flower. Absolute Tartarus appears, commenting on a power. After an intermission the plot moves forward, and to an earth in 2020, where Bemstar and Telesdon come down from the sky, and the narrator explains the Devil Splinters, this is followed by Z Alpha Edge's stock footage, the Rise accompanied with a new one for Zero. Zero and Z Alpha Edge face the two Kaiju, then discuss about the Devil Splinters when an effect devices the Kaiju. Zero defeats Bemstar only for Tartarus, who Zero is aware of, to appear and revive Bemstar, and reveal his servant, the adult Baruru, who created the system reviving the Kaiju. Zero and Z are overpowered until Ultraman and Seven arrive and help defeat them. Ultraman recognises Baruru, and Baruru remembers him, Tartarus arrives and explains their plans. Ultraman asks him to stop but he lashes out, and uses the system to revive Zetton and EX Zetton, which overpower the Ultras, before taking them aside and fusing their genes with himself to become a Zetton Baltan Seijin (variants previously appeared in Orb stages, one being a Dark Ring fusion), and join the Zettons in their battle. While the other Zettons take Seven and Zero offstage, Man and Z fight Baruru. Nice comes onstage to guide some audience interaction to power up the heroes here, which brings Seven and Zero back, and the rest of the Ultra 6 Brothers. After a moment where Man and Baruru wordlessly reflect on their past, Nice somehow finds himself faced with Tartarus, who trounces him before the Brothers minus Man pull him away, they then defeat the Zettons. Zero and Z face Tartarus until he decides to leave, but Z pursues. Ultraman and Baruru fight, although really it's just Man trying to remind Baruru of his true self, Baruru wakes up and returns to normal, but Zetton Baltan Seijin still exists on its own, now mindless and Ultraman is injured taking a hit. Zoffy, Ace and Seven take care if it long enough for Baruru to revive Man using his device, and he destroys Zetton Baltan Seijin. Tartarus murders Baruru and calls on Tyrant, which already mostly defeated Jack and Taro, and Man, Zero and Z struggle with, until Nice leads the audience again. Together the Brothers Zero and Z defeat Tyrant. The dying Baruru is shocked by the robots return. Ultraman informs him they're on earth. The robot uses the system to save Baruru, and presents the healthy plant. After sharing some parting words Baruru and his friend leave. The assembled Ultras thank the audience and leave some last words. All in all good, but about as important as those Ultraman Festival Stages or the Final Stages. Also this is pretty clearly pre-Z so I don't know why they didn't just have Z in his initial state.

The Absolute Conspiracy: The highly anticipated event begins. New Generation Heroes was a prequel to Taiga, and featured the first live action appearance of a character previously only seen in a Pachinko machine. Similarly, The Absolute Conspiracy is a prequel to Z and features several characters previously only seen in the Ultraman Festival Stages. There are differences too though. The central villain here is, to my knowledge, wholly original, and while New Generation Heroes was a a single narrative from start to finish, this is a story in 3 "parts", and while New Generation Heroes focused on only the New Generation Heroes, as well as the two most direct mentors to that group, and an Ultra who debuted in the era but is not considered part of the group, here we have quite a diverse group. So we start here in Part 1, starting Ultraman Ribut. In the M78 timeline this would appear to be set sometime in the 1000s of years gap between Mebius and Ultra Galaxy. Cool to see there's a proper OP this time, evidently going to switch up for each part. After our brief appearance by Absolute Tartarus our focus moves to young recruit Ribut, who is working alongside Civilisation Guard Max (original VA), who is one of a number of M78 Ultras who was originally believed to be from his series' universe version of the Land of Light, but since the Zero movies we now know them to be from the main M78 universe, and traveled from there to the timeline of his series. The planet is having it's energy drained by a Maga-Orochi egg, the existence of which is concerning due to the Maga-Orochi being sealed on Orb's earth....by a group of Ultras that included Zero....this might be later in the timeline than I thought. Hellberus might be an indicator Tregear is behind what's going on, he has interfered with several other New Generation Kaiju, but Sran Seijin is the only mastermind we have at the moment. Gudis Cells are infecting Max now, and I presume they want the Maga-Orochi to evolve into something more. We go to Planet Kanon. This is before the event of The Origin Saga, as the Tree of Life is still standing. The present War God, Queen Izana, is also part of the Galaxy Rescue Force, which seems to draw from an old idea from the 70s of a Galactic Federation that Tsuburaya's heroes were all part of, in this instance though the alliance is multiversal. Anyway here we have Sora, making her first appearance outside of stages, she started out as one of the generic Ultras, but now have that armour to stand out. She's accompanying Yullian (new VA) princess of the Land of Light, who is wearing a mantle here for the first time. Leucocyte attacks, which may further point to Tregear, and 80 (original actor) appears to help, until Leucocyte flees. The 80 sequence heavily reminds me of the Ace and Leo Brothers sequences in Ultra Fight Victory, giving the classic Ultra a strong showing before the newer hero takes centre stage. Ribut reports what happened to Zoffy, Taro and Hikari (all have their longstanding VAs) when the other 3 arrive with their own report, giving them a lot to deal with, and establishes the history of Ribut and Sora. They have to create an antibody to Gudis' cells in 3 days or Max is lost, and Ribut is sent to train on K76, where he meets for some intense training Great (New VA) and Powered (Kai's actor Kane Kosugi in English, Kai's dub VA in Japanese).

Saber: Tassel on the phone to somebody, interesting. I've gotten over my issue with Touma's memory from last time, knowing he was friends with Kento and finding Kento was in the memories that seemed to be dreams are different things. It's only natural that Kento is confused, and he decides getting Kamijo to tell him everything is the only option. Apparently the 6 swordsmen being present is reason for Legeiel to step up Megiddo plans using Goblins. Kento and Rintaro argue before the activity starts, Sophia gives Mei a key and heads out, leaving Northern Base to her. Kenzan goes to face one Megiddo, while Buster's mission to face another is interrupted by Desast. Rintaro and Kento argue about duty to Sword of Logos when Kento is called by Reika to where Sophia is confronting Caliber. Saber arrives at another Goblin. Sophia is trying to get explanations from Kamijo when Kento and Rintaro appears. Kento asks if the worst possible scenario is true before confronting Kamijo, Espada and Kamijo clash, Slash joins Saber and lends Bremen no Rock Band, when Zooous arrives to face Slash. Caliber claims he cut down Hayato for being a traitor, while calling himself a seeker of truth, Espada uses Golden Alangina and pushes Blades out the way. Kento gets a good hit in, and Caliber decides to use Jaou Dragon, becoming Caliber Jaou Dragon. While they fight Sophia suddenly vanishes. Mei uses the key an unlocks the screen, and Saber uses Dragon Bremen to defeat his Goblin as Kenzan does the same. Unfortunately, this is exactly what Legeiel, Zooous and Desast wanted, opening gates of Fire and Wind. Caliber overpowers Espada on the end, and tries to make the killing blow, but Blades takes it, and Rintaro is in critical condition. I think Kento's probably going to act less rashly now. Tassel has a guest, and I have an idea who. I might be wrong.

Kenshin Retsuden: This time we have an episode of Kenzan, listed as being "another side" of episode 9. Ogami and Ren are both looking for Caliber when Ogami realises Sophia is about to do something reckless. Desast, who is looking for Caliber to reclaim his book, confronts Ren and mocks him on the nature of ultimate power, Ren showing some serious might makes right thoughts, before leaving, thinking something about him afterwards about Ren's nature. Ogami saves Sophia as in the episode, but afterwards Sophia comments that Kento will be hurt regardless of who Caliber is, opening Ogami's eyes to the possibility of someone else behind the mask.

Kiramager: Whatever it is the guy wants to say to Sayo, he's clearly nervous. Sayo has gone into the dinner with certain expectations, but isn't sure how she feels quite yet. The team tries to let her keep the evening for her date. While the team is busy, she really wants to hear it at least. Garza's plan is to unleash multiple Jamenju, which Riddle Kamen is making plenty of energy for. As for Sayo, it's not like she doesn't like the dude, but she won't know until he says it, but I like how everyone is just desperate to know more. Sayo solves the riddle but doesn't tell the others what it is. Garza is bending Hakobu to his will. While it appears what Kusaka had in mind was something different, Sayo gets straight in to helping him. I am a little disappointed that we're having a marriage would mean quitting being a ranger plot for a female in fucking 2020, but that doesn't matter because turns out, surprise, Kusaka was working with Yodonna. Garza is off to eliminate Oradin. Sayo still protects him, but any chance of anything more is done for, but she still entrusts him with warning CARAT. To be fair about the marriage plot, Sayo herself had every intention of making it work, and there is the whole surgeon thing giving it more justification here than in other plots. I like how we have this goofy scene of Juru making Riddle Jamen answer a riddle of his own interspersed with the fairly serious drama of the Sayo plot. Garza has arrived in Atamald, the plant is sprouting, and 3 Jamenju arrive.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 243: Happy New Year

Previously on BnHA: The government was all “shit what are we going to do about Shigaraki Tomura and his Actual Fucking Army of villains, oh I know, why don’t we draft some child soldiers” and so they brought back internships and made them mandatory. Class 1-A had the Christmas party to end all Christmas parties, featuring 20 unique custom-tailored Santa costumes, enough chicken to feed Tomura’s entire Actual Fucking Army, and one (1) giant sword that somehow made its way into the hands of Eri, First of Her Name. Tidings of comfort and joy were had by all, and to cap things off, Shouto invited Bakugou (who by the way was having a lot of thoughts about how Best Jeanist asked him to reveal his new hero name the next time they met, because Horikoshi knows what kind of angst I like) and Deku to come intern with him at the motherfucking Endeavor Hero Agency and make everyone’s OT3 dreams come true.

Today on BnHA: Deku visits his mom on New Year’s Eve and the two of them ball out at the Make Me Cry Olympics. There is a whole plotline all about Hawks getting coffee, and I’m trying to figure out if it’s really just coffee or if THE ENTIRE SERIES SECRETLY HINGES ON THIS ONE SCENE omg. The next day at the Endeavor Hero Agency, Endeavor is all, “welcome! fuck you,” which may or may not be setting the tone for this whole arc. There’s a brief flashback to All Might congratulating his sons on their internship and saying foreshadowing things like “your new quirks probably won’t go fucking apeshit again” and “you’re a lot like Endeavor, this internship will be good for you!” Back in the present, Endeavor dramatically leaps over a railing and blasts off to go fight Monk Gyatso with the disaster trio hot on his heels. Hawks then shows up out of nowhere and the text is literally all, “WHAT’S HAWKS DOING HERE?” and seriously though. What are any of us even doing here. This arc has only just started and I already have no idea what’s going on and I fucking love it.

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity immediately afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.)

loooool

is she going to be all right

-- also! WE’RE GOING TO SEE THE PARENTS AGAIN HOMG YES. HORIKOSHI YOU’RE ON FIRE WEEK AFTER WEEK YOU MAD DOG

(ETA: literally the only way he could end his streak was by going on fucking hiatus. son of a.)

oh shit I forgot that they had the cover and a color page this week! this is great

by the light (ba da dum ba da dum) of the silvery moon (ba da dum ba da dum) I want to spoon -- holy shit, what. do you ever look up the lyrics to a song you vaguely remember from your childhood twenty-five years later in order to make a bizarre joke in a manga recap and you’re like “!!?!?” lol what the fuck. this shit is from 1909. old timey pervs

anyways this may be my favorite Jump cover ever. colors are amazing, art is super cute, it’s the whole package. Aoyama and Iida are killing me. I need that Iida ball in real life, I would seriously pay real money

and now the color spread!

where can I buy that U.A. hoodie. I’m not kidding, I need it in my life. the U.A. logo is great because it doesn’t scream “LOOK AT ME I’M AN ANIME FAN” unless the other person also watches said anime, in which case that’s awesome because the two of you can become best friends and bond over how you’re both nerds with impeccable taste

Kacchan out here holding a fucking root beer like we don’t all know the truth. yeah tough guy you go to bed at eight-thirty and you’re third in your class at the top high school in Japan. but you keep on trying to preserve that image. also this kid is singlehandedly making wifebeaters high fashion I swear to god. it’s a talent

Kirishima looks so good in v-neck shirts yes you go Kiri!

Mina is here!! Mina is part of the main character squad now, everyone! that’s right!! Iida Tenya was booted out after he refused to partake in this photo shoot due to moral outrage over the fact that they’re shooting this at what appears to be a crime scene. a vacuum cleaner was murdered in cold blood omg

Ochako not smiling is such an unusual look for her (and Mina and Kirishima too for that matter) but holy shit. I like it

TODOROKI I’M TRYING TO REACH THROUGH THE COMPUTER SCREEN AND UNBUTTON YOUR TOP BUTTON. HOLY SHIT HOW CAN YOU EVEN BREATHE. RELAX

so the new character book is out October 4, eh? I think we knew this already, but maybe this time the date will actually stick in my mind. anyways, so doing the math, that leaves Kacchan three more chapters (including this one) to reveal his hero name. boy you have a deadline get to work!

YESSSSSSSSSSS

MY NEW YEAR’S ARC MAY NOT BE HAPPENING, BUT AT LEAST WE STILL GET TO SEE THEM RING IN 2217 HOORAY

damn that’s a lot of narration in the first panel

“while accompanied by guards” oh shit. and yet, I get it. I like how they refer to it as “the chain of events that led us to move into the dorms” rather than “that time Bakugou got fucking kidnapped.” they are not letting that happen again. good

IZUMAMA YESSSS

at least he’s being open with her about it! come on Inko, push through this. he’s already got 240 other things he’s still not telling you, don’t give him any more reason to keep being secretive

oh my god now Deku is like “anyways do you remember Eri?” and he’s reaching into his pocket now, holy shit?? WHATEVER HE’S PULLING OUT IS GOING TO BE SO FUCKING CUTE, ISN’T IT

oH MY GOD!!!!!

THIS SON OF A BITCH IS JUST GONNA KEEP ON AMASSING A COLLECTION OF ADORABLE AND HILARIOUS LITTLE KID LETTERS, ISN’T HE. LISTEN HERE DEKU YOU MOTHERFUCKER!! THAT PIC OF “MISTER DEKU” IS -- I’M -- !!!!

“I was hardly able to do anything for her” ?? you SAVED HER LIFE?? you BODYSLAMMED OVERHAUL INTO THE GROUND?? YOU GOT US ALL OUT OF THAT ACCURSED BASEMENT? listen here you modest little shit you need to stop doing this. you even taught her the true meaning of quirks for crying out loud. you are the actual best

god the way he is staring at this letter is giving me too many feels for a Thursday afternoon. these are like Saturday night feels. this manga never goes easy on me

same Inko same

oh my god now Inko is launching into a speech about Deku’s sad childhood I can’t with this, MA’AM PLEASE

“covered in bruises” oh my problematic ship. oh this nuanced manga with its intricate layers of feels. this is the lasagna of mangas

hello page 3 is just one big assault on all my emotions and I would like to report this to someone help I am being besieged

oh my fucking god Midoriya family. I’m trying to process all of this and just!!

like. she’s known all this time how big his heart is and that he doesn’t care about himself and just wants to protect others. but for the longest time he was powerless to do it. but still he kept dreaming and she kept looking on waiting for that day he’d finally give up, ready for his heart to break, bracing herself. and then this miracle happened and he got a quirk and all his hopes came true and he got to go to his dream school, and now he’s training to become a hero just like he always wanted

and everything special she always saw about her boy is shining so brightly now, and everyone can see it, and he’s become so strong. but also he’s growing up so fast. he’s gone from being someone she had to protect to someone who’s strong enough to protect not only her, but everyone. strong enough to carry the world on his shoulders

just. can you even imagine. how much pride she must feel, in addition to the relief she’s expressing now. but also the loneliness of knowing she can’t hold on to her baby boy forever and he’s on the verge of going out into the world and leaving her. in fact he basically already has. anyways I came here today for some Three Musketeers antics and now I’m sitting her with Izumama empty nest feels, what is this

-- yo, what?? he’s starting the internship on New Year’s Fucking Day? U.A. doesn’t fuck around, goddamn

(ETA: seriously, no rest for the weary here. both Endeavor and Hawks are as busy as ever too. poor Hawks, who never wanted to be a hero to begin with, spent New Year’s Eve undercover trying to drown his sorrows in sugary coffee. of course, Jeanist is spending his New Year’s either in hiding or dead, so.)

anyways so he’s bidding his mom goodbye and getting onto a bus, and he’s all bundled up in a scarf but can’t be assed to wear a jacket, apparently. whatever Deku

AHHHH WHAT IS THIS NOW

AND OH MY GOD LOOK WHERE HE IS

THE LEAGUE OF PLIFF’S HEADQUARTERS AT THE OL’ OVERLOOK HOTEL. watch out for the elevators. Toga probably really likes them though

“where did you run off to number 2” um, he’s still a top ranked pro hero? what, do they just expect him to never do his job ever again? even if they think he’s on their side, they must realize that he needs to maintain his so-called cover

anyways, fucking Slidin’ Go is back, guys. when is someone going to punch this slippery bitch in the face

wow he’s seriously chewing Hawks out for flying off without permission. can someone please just deck this mouthbreather already

oh my god

this motherfucker really truly believes he is Hawks’s senpai. imagine having the same power as a fucking banana peel, and being so deluded you actually think you outrank a double agent of indispensable value, who also just so happens to be Dabi’s best friend, and oh yes, THE NUMBER TWO FUCKING HERO. I don’t even know where to begin with you, Slidin’ Go

oh snap but he’s immediately being called out on his BS lol this is great

twenty microdevices?? holy shit. that’s gonna make it really difficult for him to actually report back to the heroes

maybe if the PSC gives him twenty of their own little spy cams. then the only challenge is for him to try and remember which are which

lmao look at this little metaphorical drawing

isn’t this the Hyrule Castle level from Breath of the Wild

anyways don’t mind me, I’m just sitting here trying to figure out if there’s a double meaning to these two panels

is Skeptic just really bad at making small talk, or is there something here that I’m totally missing?? did he witness something during Hawks’s coffee run?

(ETA: this seriously reads to me as some kind of coded threat, but it makes no sense given the rest of the conversation. he goes on and on about how useful Hawks will be in helping them spy on the heroes, but then calls attention to him sneaking out to buy a single can of coffee. in conclusion I am probably overthinking this way too much, but it’s odd. maybe he really is just trying to be nice and coming off as weird and creepy.)

now we’re flashing back to Hawks’s last report to the PSC

if this is after he met up with Dabi then why does he still have the bag? WHEN WILL THIS STOP HAUNTING ME. I’M SO TIRED OF WAKING UP AT NIGHT IN A COLD SWEAT ONLY TO SEE HAWK’S BACKPACK STANDING THERE RIGHT NEXT TO MY BED, WATCHING

-- SDLKGHSLDKHFL

lmao this scared the shit out of me. Enji what the fuck

yesssss it’s mah boisssss

wow, he’s pretty weirdly enthused about the whole thing, huh? I expected him to bitch about it more. since Shouto basically offered his friends the gig all on his own without any consultation whatsoever. that’s called nepotism Shouto but it’s okay I forgive you

anyways. so are the Endeavor offices located in THE FUTURE. or what. is this Epcot

DKFJWELKFJL

LOL THAT’S MORE LIKE IT. FOR A MOMENT I THOUGHT WE HAD SLIPPED INTO SOME WEIRD ALTERNATE UNIVERSE

hahaha exactly

well I’m glad I’m not going crazy, at any rate. anyways though, Endeavor trying his best to be a good dad and caving in to his son’s ridiculous demands because he’s trying to make up for TWO DECADES OF BEING COMPLETE GARBAGE is pleasing to me as always. deal with it Endeav

HE SAID DEAL WITH IT!!

oh my god Katsuki is saying something holy shit, the next few panels will set the stage for what could be the sleeper hit character dynamic of the year. ghghkghhhhhh

( ��� o ⁰ )

oh my god

(ETA: Katsuki I have written whole essays about how perceptive you are and then you just. sob. now that he’s finally starting to ease up on the whole Angry Asshole thing, his inner dumbass is really shining through.)

YES HE IS AND THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO, YOUR BOURGEOIS SON HAS FALLEN IN WITH THIS CHURLISH ROUGHNECK FROM THE HOOD, DIE MAD ABOUT IT!!

lmaooo

that mental image omfg. HE WILL PUT UP WITH THIS SUFFERING IN ORDER TO GET CLOSER TO HIS GOAL. what a sacrifice. the pros outweighed the cons. it’s logic. I can’t, I

and Endeavor being so fucking mad that Shouto picked this asshole to be his new best friend sob. YOU CAN’T STOP THEIR BROMANCE IT IS UNFOLDING BEFORE YOUR VERY EYES

anyways I love everything and I’m all set for the mentoring to begin. bring it onnnn

so now Deku is being surprisingly earnest and thanking Endeavor for accepting them into his agency

and we’re getting our first glimpse of Deku’s Upgraded Feelings About Endeavor oooooh juicy

Deku is so good at seeing into people’s hearts. and so forgiving. we already knew he was -- the inciting event that led to the whole fucking series wouldn’t have even happened if he wasn’t -- but I’m honestly still so impressed every time I see it

(ETA: and also, this means that he still went and told him off during the sports festival even though he was scared of him. kid is the fucking role model to end all role models.)

also I’m already sensing that this chapter (and indeed, this entire arc) is going to prompt more Discourse up in the ol’ fandom. that’s going to be fun. anyways, I’ve already essayed more than once regarding Endeavor’s redemption arc, so I’m not going to spend too much time hashing out the same old points. but basically my stance is I’m fine with it. I think it’s good to show that people can change no matter how far they’ve gone down the wrong path. it may not be easy, but if they’re genuinely remorseful, and if the desire is there, then why not? I’m not gonna get up in arms because someone is trying to become a better person. the alternative is that they stay terrible, and that doesn’t help anyone

anyway, so now we’re flashing back to what appears to be a conversation with All Might, and oh my god

but you guys. listen. Katsuki is there, again. they’re not even discussing OFA this time and he’s still there! elbowed his way into this mentorship like the determined little shit he is, and now he’s not leaving and you all just have to deal with it. oh my god it’s everything I ever wanted, someone please pinch me is this real??

lol and now they are discussing OFA, but that’s okay. it’s only natural that would also be on the agenda

really, All Might?

you consider that “just fine”? that bloop? just as planned?? I know you love your son, but maybe consider raising the bar for him just a little bit. he is capable of so much more, and now of all times is not the time to go easy on him

and he’s still talking about the SIXQUIRKS as though unlocking more of them right now would be a bad thing. I really think this is the wrong approach. maybe I just want to see Deku go buck wild and fucking lose it though, idk

Katsuki has no patience for this either

“I don’t doubt it.” please Deku we’re not worthy of you and your wholesomeness. and he’s so sincere, too?? how does Kacchan continuously absorb all of this shameless admiration and affection day after day, week after week. how is he not humbled by it

anyways time to shut up about that though because All Might is now mentoring Bakugou directly and this requires my full fucking attention

yessss let the character development commence! I’m so excited ddhkshl

and now we’re back in the present and the conversation is taking a very interesting turn!

YES! HE DID! DO YOU REMEMBER? YOU WEREN’T REALLY PAYING ATTENTION BEFORE BECAUSE YOU WERE STILL IN ASSHOLE MODE. what do you have to say about it now?

...

mysterious

what

(ETA: “is he always like this?”)

lol what

hahaha. this arc is off to a fucking hysterical start

oh snap y’all look at this

100% chance Deku is right fucking behind him lol. probably they all are

YEP

BITCH, WHO THE FUCK DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DEALING WITH. YOU THOUGHT THESE WERE JUST ANY OLD INTERNS?? FUCK YOU, THESE ARE PREMIUM, CLUB-LEVEL, OCEAN VIEW INTERNS, YOU UNAPPRECIATIVE LOUT. YOU INGRATE

lol but he’s not missing a beat though, and he’s ordering them to stay behind and watch him oh shit. what is even going on

now we’re cutting to some fucking yogi bobbing around town in a lotus position screaming about a divine revelation he received from fucking space. okay

AHHH WHAT

HAWKS IS ALREADY GETTING IN ON THE ACTION, JESUS CHRIST. DOES THIS FUCKER EVER PUT ON THE BRAKES?? THIS ARC IS LIKE TWELVE DIFFERENT PLOTLINES INTERSECTING ALL AT ONCE AND I CAN BARELY KEEP UP. THIS SHIT IS A TRAINWRECK WAITING TO HAPPEN AND I’M STANDING HERE MESMERIZED

BUT!!!

cue Celine Dion’s “All by Myself” while I fall down dramatically nooooo. the lord giveth and he taketh away. YOU OPENED A DOOR AND CLOSED THE WINDOW YOU BASTARD sob why

well shit. and that means that Katsuki has only one chapter left to reveal his hero name, too. (ETA: keeping track of the important things here lol.) and somehow I don’t see that happening unless the focus of the next chapter takes a very dramatic shift, since we seem to be launching into full plot mode before any of us even have our seatbelts on. not that I’m complaining about that because sdkljk

anyways. see y’all in two weeks I guess. the My Plots Academia arc sure is off to a crazy fucking start