#even my therapist said to just.

[dhs-in-disguise]

I‘m gonna die alone, and I mean that so genuinely.

I don’t think I‘ll ever be able to form actual friendships with people again because I think that I‘m genuinely just,, unpleasant to be around for most people. In person doesn’t work for exactly that reason and I tried once with someone online and that fizzled out pretty quickly too.

Now I‘m too scared to talk to people, even online. It should be easier, but it‘s really not and I can only ever think about how I might’ve said something upsetting or too weird or something to push them away. It makes me so sad because I want to form connections to people and talk to people about silly things and maybe help someone feel a little better but my anxiety‘s gotten so bad over the years that it takes forever to feel comfortable and I just.

I just wanna fucking cry, man.

[turtletoria]

one downside to digital mediums of art is that you cant see the tear stains (they just slide down the screen)

[faaun]

last night i got home kind of tipsy and very much in tears and my mother told me the force you exert to keep someone in your life is proportional to the force with which they will leave your life. if you have to fight tooth and claw to keep them, their leaving will be just as hard, just as harsh, and just as definite.

[mueritos]

a little strange to get dms from other trans people saying they agree with biden's dumb statemet that he doesnt want minors getting gender-affirming care. if you really think its such an epidemic that 13 year olds are getting their knockers blown off by surgeons every other day, then please point me in the direction of said 13 year olds that are somehow accessing gender-affirming care that literal trans adults can't even access.

like please be fr. we literally have privatized healthcare and insurance where not even people who go through the appropriate avenues can get approved for care they need to stay alive. what makes you think a trans minor is getting phallo or vaginalplasty. feel whatever you want about 13 year olds who want gender-affirming care, but dont parrot transphobic rhetoric that is based on no facts and a moral panic. they second they legitimize barriers to care for trans minors is the second they start finding ways to do the same for trans adults. dont be a buffoon.

[brainrot-stitch]

Doodles from a dw rp I was just in!!! Honestly the best one I've had so far lol

Out of character that vs in character chat😭

Omg crazyy...

😭😭😭random

[tisajest]

I'm bored so imma share my ethnicity headcanons for the batfam. If you want the tldr version just read the bolded text lol

Bruce - WASP (White Anglo-Saxon Protestant) American, Irish, and Dutch Jewish

The Wayne family has been in Gotham for centuries and has stayed mostly WASP, the few exceptions before Martha were French, German, or Dutch typically. Martha comes from Gotham's Kane family and it is an Irish Jewish family that was established over a century ago. Her mother was from a wealthy Jewish Dutch family that fled in the early stages of WWII.

Dick - mostly French Sinti (Manouche) and Mexican Calé Romani, but also has Hungarian Boyash and British Romanichal Romani ancestry, English, WASP American, Hungarian, French, German, Spanish, Italian, Indigenous Mexican, West African, and North African. Looks like a lot listed out like that but it really just comes from being from a nomadic culture and from the Americas. He just considers himself Romani, Sinti/Calé if pressed. You won't get the whole "I'm 1/8 Italian" thing from him.

Dick's mother (Mary) was from France and had a lot of French/other Western European ancestry as well as her Sinti ancestry. Her family was culturally and ethnically Sinti Romani and had been in France primarily for centuries. Her mother was a dirty blonde with more Eurocentric features and her father looked more Mediterranean and had more Romani features.

Dick's father (John) was culturally Mexican Calé Romani because of his Mexican mother (Maria Perfecta). Her family has been in Mexico for a long time, having immigrated primarily in the 17th and 18th centuries. As such, she also had some Indigenous Mexican (primarily from Central Mexico, so Otomí, Purepecha, Nahua, Cora (among others but those were the first examples that came to mind)), West African, and Iberian ancestry, as well, primarily. Her family mostly stuck to Central Mexico, some distant lineages went either North or South.

John's father (William Grayson) also had Romani ancestry because his father, William Cobb, was Boyash and Romanichal. Cobb's mother was the daughter of Hungarian Boyash immigrants and his father immigrated from London. Grayson was disconnected from his Romani heritage, however, and was raised collectively by Haly's Circus as a multicultural orphan. Grayson's mother was Amelia Crowne, who came from a wealthy WASP American family. Due to the disconnect from his father's side, most of John's Romani cultural practices come from his mother.

Bonus: just for funsies I had Dick be born in Brazil, he's not Brazilian ethnically nor culturally, but he does speak Brazilian Portuguese and has Brazilian citizenship. Haly's also picked up a Brazilian performer around the time Dick was born. They were the honorary uncle/nephew duo of Dick's early childhood and he made sure Dick grew up speaking Portuguese correctly (John was born in Portugal and spoke conversational European Portuguese). Thus, Dick has Brazilian, American, Mexican, and French citizenship.

*I corrected some spelling errors in this section (Caló (language) to Calé (people), Senti (1 typo) to Sinti) and corrected some details that I missed in my late night writing this post (I added "more" before "Eurocentric features" bc I feel like I was implying that Mary's mom looked like a more typical white woman, which isn't the case. I also added "and had more Romani features" after Mary's father's Mediterranean description bc I feel that I implied he didn't look Romani at all, just Mediterranean, which also isn't the case. Yes both had more mixed features but both were still solidly Romani in appearance)

Jason - Irish, Italian, Greek, WASP American, French Canadian, and Anglo-Australian

Jason's father (Willis) was born to a single teen mother in Gotham. She was the granddaughter of Greek immigrants, descendant of Irish immigrants a little further back, and has general WASP-y American ancestry as well from having been in the Northeastern US for centuries. She likely also has Dutch, German, French, and Indigenous American ancestry as well, but those are generations removed and irrelevant. Willis's father was never in his life, but he had French Canadian grandparents on his mother's side and WASP American on his father's.

Jason's mother (Sheila) was the granddaughter of a WWII vet and an Australian war bride on her mother's side. Her grandfather was the son of Southern Italian immigrants and her grandmother was an Anglo-Australian primarily, with 1 Irish immigrant grandfather. Sheila's father was basically just WASP American with a somewhat recent German immigrant grandmother.

Despite being the whitest mfer, he was a polyglot from an early age because he was always out interacting with his community. So he is very conversational/fluent in Puerto Rican Spanish (has been mistaken as Puerto Rican as a result, too, and this was him when he was told he wasn't actually Puerto Rican lol), knows quite a bit of Yiddish, Cantonese, Tagalog, and other languages. He picks up languages quickly.

Tim - German, WASP American, White Cuban (mostly Spanish, French, and Chinese)

Tim's father (Jack) is mostly WASP American and German, as his mother's parents were German immigrants. The Drake family is a more recent addition to Gotham's elite, but the ancestors had been in the Northeast (New York and north New Jersey specifically) for generations.

Tim's mother (Janet) is the daughter of Cuban immigrants, both parents having left Cuba as children. Janet's mother (Emilia) was mostly of Spanish and French ancestry, her family were Cuban elites that were able to recover their wealth in NYC. Janet's father (Alfonso) was biracial, his father was Spanish and his mother was mostly Chinese. His family was also very wealthy, but lost most of it in the exile. They had to rebuild their business in Miami.

Tim speaks Spanish, but not nearly as fluently as Jason. Janet mostly spoke English to him. Tim grew up mostly monolingual, the languages he speaks later are learned through study primarily. His Spanish, thus, is a mix of Cuban, Mexican (Dick), Textbook, and Puerto Rican slang and profanity (Jason).

Cass - Han Chinese (mainland China (South) and Malaysia), Malay, Irish, and WASP American

Cass's mother (Lady Shiva) was born in Malaysia to a Malaysian Chinese mother and a Chinese immigrant father. They moved to Guangzhou when she was very young. Her Malaysian Chinese mother had some Malay ancestry as well, but she was primarily Chinese.

Cass's father (David Cain) is the son of a Northern Irish immigrant and WASP Americans. That's about all I got, I don't give a shit about him lol

Damian - Arab (specifically Jordanian circa like half a millennium ago; Palestinian and Yemeni), Han Chinese, Miao Chinese, plus Bruce's ethnicities above

Damian's mother (Talia) was half Arab and half Chinese from both parents. Her father (Ra's) was born in what is now Jordan to parents from the region, one of which (his mother) was Han Chinese originally from Western China. His father was ethnically Southern Levant, Palestinian/Jordanian. Talia's mother (Melisande) was the daughter of an American mother with a Palestinian father and a Yemeni mother. Melisande's father was the American son of parents from Yunnan, he was Miao.

See Bruce above.

Duke - African American, Gullah, (maybe Mandika, it depends)

I don't fully understand what's going on with his bio dad (Gnomon), so Imma just ignore him and just do his mother. If he's an immortal metahuman, he's Mandinka from Senegal. If he's a non-human immortal being, then he's that ig.

Duke's mother (Elaine) is Gullah. She was born and raised in Georgia and later moved to Gotham, but she was very connected to her community and culture. She raised Duke in the Gullah culture at home, as well. She also taught Duke the Gullah language, it's his first language. As Duke grew up, the home became more bi-cultural (Doug is a Gotham native, so not Gullah and thus had different traditions and culture to share).

Steph - Scottish, Polish, Lithuanian, and Black

Steph's father (Arthur) is originally from Chicago, his father was the son of Scottish immigrants and his mother was the daughter of Polish immigrants.

Steph's mother (Crystal) is a native Gothamite, her father was unknown to her (he was mostly WASP American, but he did have a black grandmother) and her mother was the daughter of Lithuanian immigrants.

That's about it, I didn't include Alfred bc I just see him as ethnically English, maybe some Celtic ancestry (Welsh/Cymry and/or Cornish) and from the South of England.

Anyway, those are my headcanons! Let me know what you think if you want.

[torchstelechos]

People be like, how you doing? And I'm like, Loop is never going to see their family again.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

so. I just got to Maruki’s attempted persuasion of Ren before the deadline and. hey what the fuck. what. what.

Akechi is the sole bargaining chip? Akechi’s life and their continued connection is what Ren wished for?

[iridescentis]

i wish i could meet some oriented aroace people irl or even just people who know what it is because having to dilute my identity just so people understand me is exhausting

every time i come out as aroace it always feels wrong because even though i am aroace, being a lesbian is also so important to me and no one irl seems to fully get that and it's soul crushing like i know im not the only aroace lesbian in the world but it really feels like that sometimes

[ipromiseimawriter]

But you should know that I died slow Running through the halls of your haunted home And the toughest part is that we both know What to happened to you Why you're out on your own Merry Christmas, please don't call

hey squad who are inevitably dealing with limited or no contact, estrangement, heartbreak, painful reminders, or anything else equally complicated around this time of year?? how we doin'??????

[dreadfuldevotee]

Literally, I think I'll be genuinely angry if we go some huge amount of time without ever seeing Yaz again. LIKE I CANT GET OVER: There is a Woman out there, who loves you so much. Sometimes to her own detriment, but God is she truly in love with you. You, The Doctor, are in love with this woman. You wished for forever with this woman. You regreted not giving voice to how much you love her so much, that it almost fucking fixes you're next incarnation. You! The Doctor!! have a whole lifetime of therapy, or whatever you quantify as that idk, in part to work on that whole "so emotionally repressive, its killing the vibes in the next galaxy over" and are back and traveling and whatnot. AND THAT WOMAN IS STILL OUT THERE!! If I were you, The Doctor, I would go tell that wonderful woman who loved me and stood by me when I was actively breaking her heart and pushing her away that I love her. That even if those emotions have changed in the lifetime I've been away, That there was a time that I loved her like she loved me. That I carry that love we shared still and what has become of it with me.

[badlydrawndedkidz]

hello there! it's me, Tortilla, known mostly as Mod by the people who have been following this blog for a While!

if you've ever scrolled for a bit here, you've probably Seen that I've tried a few times to get back into posting more often and failed comically as i grappled with the dreaded Mental Eel Nesses and Executive Dysfunction, among other things. especially since ask blogs aren't as popular as they were back in the day when i made this blog (2015! turned 9 years last aug 15th! that's an entire child. jin owes me a lot of child support,)

(before anyone gets scared, no I'm not deleting anything lol gimme a sec to word this thought)

okay so like. cutting straight to the point not gonna get sentimental right now I'll save that for later: i want to keep this blog active REALLY bad, but as much as I'd like to, for multiple reasons i cannot draw as much as i did back in the day, which is like... the main thing i usually post here. so I've been pondering for the past year or so What to Do about it

my one idea is to turn this into a general kgpr blog and reblog other people's art and official stuff and the alike here, instead of keeping it Just My Stuff

but the thing is, if i DO that i would want to change my url, because reblogging art to a place that's named "badly drawn--" whatever is. i Don't Want That y'know? it's disrespectful lol

the thing is that that's soooo many links that would Break. among other things. (+ i have nooo clue what id change the name to but that's a different issue)

so like, my question here is,

[ef-1]

girlhood

[the-casbah-way]

i never ever cry in front of anyone ever but there was this boy i was OBSESSED with in primary school when i was like seven years old because he was the fastest boy in the class and he had cool spiky hair and i always thought it was a crush until i came out and realised it was gender envy of some form and today my friend out of the blue told me that i look like him and we looked at his instagram together and i actually do. i look almost exactly like him. and i cried like an absolute wanker because i’ve been so miserable my whole life being perceived entirely the wrong way and i went home today and looked at myself and realised i look like the boy i always wanted to be when i was a kid. and whenever i feel bad about myself i get to remind myself that i look like him so i shouldn’t feel bad because back then i couldn’t have ever dreamed of getting to look like this. and t will only make it better and even though the idea of starting it is still so scary to me i keep having moments like this that make me realise how good it’s going to be even if some of it will suck. i always focus on all of the ways my transition has gone and will go wrong and i forget that it’s going to go right in a lot of ways too