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reyescarlos · 2 years ago

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into you || a tarlos fic

summary: TK Strand has one objective: find the courage to speak to the cute boy he's been admiring from afar for the past year. Carlos Reyes has one objective: find inspiration to complete his art portfolio at any cost.

When a chance encounter with his crush goes horribly awry, TK concocts a plan to get back in his good graces. As time winds down toward the end of the semester, the two grow closer, discovering new parts of themselves and each other.

for @carsonnshaw my angel. sorry this is so late! i just really wanted to get it right because you deserve that and so much more, my love! i hope you’ll enjoy it! 💕💜

word count: 19.6k | rated e | read on ao3

Is this gonna happen? Been waiting and waiting for you to make a move Before I make a move

As TK stands in the gallery surrounded by art projects, one thought springs to mind: he’s completely out of his element. This isn’t how he’d typically spend a Friday night. Those are preferably spent hitting up a party on campus or otherwise occupying himself with some kind of mindless entertainment.

The upside to tonight is being able to spot glimpses of Carlos. TK has never once spoken to the guy before, but he’s certainly taken notice of him on campus from time to time. It’s privately part of the reason why TK agreed to come tonight in the first place. He doesn’t know much about the man aside from the fact that he’s an art major and keeps to himself.

TK has never seen him at any of the parties his frat or any other for that matter, have thrown on campus. To say they run in different circles would be an understatement, but TK has been hoping desperately for a chance to cross paths with him in an organic way. So many times he’d see Carlos around school grounds, head in a book or otherwise hanging out with his cluster of friends. Each time a part of him would want to march right over and introduce himself, strike up a conversation and see where it could lead.

It all started last year, perhaps embarrassingly so for TK to admit liking him for so long. All it had taken was spotting Carlos sitting alone on a bench in the quad, sketching into an art pad. There was something so captivating about how he was able to zero in to whatever he was working on in the middle of laughter and chatter around him.

Over the next few months, TK would see him unexpectedly, only learning his name after one of his friends shouted it.

TK isn’t typically shy when it comes to guys. It’s something he prides himself on, but with Carlos, it’s different. The guy is way out of his league, interested in things that TK doesn’t really understand.

TK spots him again now, talking to another student, adjusting his clear framed glasses. Carlos looks a bit nervous tonight and TK figures this event must have him on edge. He couldn’t imagine doing this himself, putting something he’s worked on up for public judgment.

Carlos continues on with his conversation, running a hand through his curls. The tuft of hair at the very top sticks up even higher now.

It’s impossible not to stare at him but TK forces himself to look away. This crush on Carlos is a fruitless one at best, but TK sees little sense in torturing himself by staring at something he’ll never be able to have.

TK sighs softly to himself and stands up straighter as Paul hands him a plastic cup with sparkling cider which he gladly accepts. He focuses on the walls, each one covered with multiple pieces of artwork from paintings to drawings with small placards with students’ names beside them.

“Which one’s Josie’s?” he asks.

Paul beams proudly and leads him over to the right side of the room. Josie’s mural is massive. TK isn’t sure what he’s supposed to feel, if anything, when looking at it, but the color combinations are gorgeous and in TK’s eyes, that’s enough to mark it as nice in his book. He says as much, earning a laugh from Paul.

They continue moving around the packed space, going from piece to piece. Paul, far more cultured on these things than he could ever hope to be, has something to say about each one. It’s yet another reason why TK is convinced Paul and Josie are perfect for each other and why he would never stand a chance with Carlos.

TK and Paul move on to the final painting. Paul goes on about the composition, but all TK sees is globs of color and brushstrokes on a canvas.

“I don’t really get it. What is that I’m supposed to be seeing here? Anyone could slap paint on a board and call it art, when you think about it, right? It’s all so subjective.”

“Just what every artist wants to hear,” a voice says on the other side of him.

TK startles at the sound, but shock quickly turns into dread as he turns his head and finds himself looking into Carlos’ eyes.

TK blinks twice and looks at the painting, his gaze drifting to the placard that very clearly spells out Carlos’ name.

Embarrassed, TK stammers.

“I wasn’t….I didn’t mean,” he says, not even sure what he could possibly say to remedy this.

Carlos holds up a hand to stop him and TK is grateful for him intervening because he’s fairly certain he’d keep sputtering nonsense until the end of time.

“I’m sorry,” he spits out.

Carlos scoffs and shakes his head. “It’s fine. I wouldn’t expect you to get it.”

The shift from apologetic to offended is so swift, it leaves TK feeling disoriented for a moment.

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

Carlos shrugs. “Exactly what I said.”

TK opens up his mouth to respond but Carlos turns away just as quickly as he appeared, leaving him without a chance to reply. TK’s mouth snaps shut, his jaw clenched as he watches Carlos’ retreating figure disappear into the crowd.

For all the times he’s imagined talking to Carlos for the first time, trading insults before a proper greeting hadn’t been on his list of possibilities.

“What the hell just happened?” TK asks, still frozen in place.

Paul stands shoulder to shoulder with him, folding his arms over his chest as he looks after Carlos as well.

“I think you just made an enemy.”

~*~*~

I don’t really get it.

The words of a stranger shouldn’t bother him this much, but given that Carlos has spent the last few weeks stressing out over his final portfolio, this feedback has confirmed his biggest fear: he’s truly lost his muse.

Carlos stares now at the empty canvas in front of him, willing inspiration to hit him. This isn’t something he can force, he knows that as sure as anything else. It does very little to stop him from trying anyway. The semester ends in just two months and Carlos is no closer to figuring out what he wants his portfolio to say than he had been at the start of it.

Carlos cracks his knuckles, a nervous tic he’s spent a lifetime trying to break out of but it can’t be helped. He can hear TK’s words playing on a loop in the back of his mind along with his own self-doubt signing off on the comment.

It’s been a full twenty four hours and Carlos still feels guilty for being so curt. He can admit, at least to himself, that he’s been severely preoccupied and sensitive over his work lately. The unexpected artistic block has hampered everything he’s attempted to make this month. He isn’t performing to his usual standard and it’s unnerving, to say the least.

It feels as if every time he blinks, he can see the look of confusion on TK’s face. In truth, Carlos knows it was a low blow to hurl such a snide comment at TK. They’d never spoken before but Carlos knew of him in the way he imagined just about everyone else did. He was a member of some fraternity, the Greek letters completely lost to Carlos who never put much stock in such things.

Carlos groans and throws his paintbrush down.

“I take it things aren’t going well in here then, huh?”

Carlos turns at the sound of Grace’s voice and feels his irritation at himself melt away as she comes into the room.

“Hey, Gracie,” he says, doing his best to put on a happier face.

But there’s no fooling her. Grace comes and drapes an arm around his shoulder.

“How long have you been in here driving yourself up a wall?”

Carlos smiles halfheartedly. “One disastrous hour.”

He pulls in a deep breath and lets it out loudly. Grace soothes him with a squeeze of his shoulder.

“Try switching mediums?” she suggests, quickly looking at him. “Did I say that right?”

Carlos laughs. “Yes, you did and I think you may in fact have a point. I haven’t done figure drawing in a while. It’d be nice to get back to that.”

Grace raises a brow, staring at him blankly.

“Drawing human form,” he supplies.

“Ah, I see. You’d need a model, right?”

“Are you, by chance, offering?”

Grace smiles apologetically. “I wish I could; it’d be an honor. But the writing center needs me. End of term always gets students through our doors. You could put up ads, though. I’m sure you’d get at least a few takers and you can go from there. You’re bound to find at least one good option.”

“I’ll take those odds. Thanks, Grace.”

“Don’t mention it,” she says, giving his shoulder another reassuring squeeze.

She looks at the empty canvas and frowns.

“I’m sorry you’re having a hard time lately. I know that must be frustrating.”

Carlos sighs. “Yeah, it’s bad enough that I got negative feedback last night.”

Grace’s arm falls away. She pulls up a nearby stool and sits beside him.

“What happened in the two seconds we weren’t together?”

Carlos cracks his knuckles again as he replays his exchange with TK for the hundredth time. Before last night, he’d only known the name and face in passing. Now it feels as if both are indelible in his thoughts.

“TK Strand happened. He said he didn’t really understand what he was looking at when he was standing in front of my piece.”

Grace frowns. “Sounds more like a personal problem on his end, if you ask me.”

For as much as Carlos wants to buy into that theory, there’s a nugget of doubt large enough to eclipse the small voice in his head telling him TK is right.

“But what if he has a point? I mean, it’s been weeks and nothing I make is translating well. He’s not even into art and he could tell I did a bad job. I’m going to blow my portfolio. I never should have signed on for the showcase.”

Grace puts a hand on his knee.

“You, take a breath now. You did not do a bad job. Not in the least bit. You’re being way too hard on yourself here, Carlos. You’re easily the most talented person that I know. You create magic each time you touch a blank page. Don’t let him or anyone–– yourself included––make you believe otherwise, you hear me?”

Carlos smiles at her before pulling her in for a hug.

“Yes, ma’am,” he muses. “But honestly, thank you.” He gives her a kiss on the cheek and pulls away.

“I did give him a piece of my mind though, just a little bit.”

“Is that so?” Grace says, folding her arms across her chest.

Carlos cringes a little as he nods.

“Not my proudest moment, I’ll admit. He apologized, but it still stung. Still does.”

“Turn it into fuel to get your work to where you want it to be. That’s the best thing you can do in a case like this. Focus your energy on the steps ahead of you, not the ones you’ve already passed.”

Carlos takes Grace’s advice to heart and two days later, he’s plastering flyers around campus, putting out a call for volunteers to model for him. His expectations are low as he’s sure most people would be reluctant to blindly sign up for a stranger to study and draw them. Still, it’s well worth the effort now to at least try. At this point, Carlos is so desperate for something to work that he’s willing to try anything.

He spends the better part of the afternoon walking around campus, hanging up a flyer on every notice board he happens across.

He ends his posting at the cafe on campus, heading to the board just a few feet away from the entrance. Carlos is fishing out his small box of pushpins when he hears a semi-familiar voice behind him.

“Hey, it’s you.”

It hits him suddenly who the voice belongs to.

Carlos does nothing to hide his disdain as he turns around and he doesn’t think he can be blamed for it. TK is quite honestly the last person he wants to see right now. TK bites back on his lower lip, rocking a bit where he stands. It’d be endearing if he weren’t still so bothered by what happened at the showcase.

“Look, I was hoping to run into you,” TK says. “I wanted to apologize for the other night. I was being a total dick. I didn’t mean to be, but either way, it wasn’t cool. I’m really sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Carlos replies curtly, setting his remaining few sheets of paper down on the table and grabbing the top one.

Carlos turns away from TK and pins the paper to the corkboard. In theory, this should be the end of the conversation but TK not only remains in place, he continues to talk.

“So, are we good?” TK asks.

Carlos looks back over at him. TK is far more persistent than he thinks is necessary but it’s almost as if it's a matter of absolute importance for him to make Carlos understand he’s serious about making amends.

“Does it even matter? Up until the showcase, we’ve never said a word to each other. I’m perfectly fine going back to that. I appreciate you apologizing or whatever, but we can just leave it at this. It’s fine.”

It really isn’t, but at this point, Carlos wants nothing more than to forget the other night. TK reappearing out of the blue just brings him right back to that godawful moment.

“Do you at least forgive me?”

Carlos sighs, his hands settling on his hips as he looks TK directly in the eyes. He wants to make this as perfectly clear as he can.

“No, I don’t. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I really have to get going. Goodbye, TK.”

Carlos picks up his things and leaves TK standing there to let the message sink in once and for all.

~*~*~

TK slams his bedroom door the second he’s inside. It feels as if the force is enough to rattle his teeth, but he’s far too angry to even care. He tosses his backpack down and begins to pace. The walk across campus to his frat hadn’t been enough to ease his frustration. His irritation only seems to have grown on the trip over.

TK’s door swings open and Paul stands at the threshold, eyebrows raised.

“Whoa, what is going on? You blew through here like a hurricane. What happened to you?”

TK clenches his jaw, nostrils flared as he continues to pace, not breaking his stride for even a moment.

“He was such a jerk. I apologized and he just flat out refused to accept it. I thought he was cool with everyone.”

“Wait, who are you even talking about? Carlos?”

TK nods and Paul rubs at his temple.

“You’re still on about that? It’s been days, man.”

TK scowls and looks away. He’s been fixated, he can admit, on the fact that he and Carlos have somehow ended up at odds with one another. The shift happened so quickly and each attempt now at setting things right continues to blow up in his face. It doesn’t sit well with him to know that Carlos is angry with him.

“Yeah, it has been and he’s still holding it against me. I said I was sorry then and I apologized again today. He’s still mad at me.”

“Well, most people don’t go around openly trashing his artwork, so there’s also that to factor in,” Paul deadpans.

This gets TK to stop in his tracks. He crosses his arms over his chest before quickly dropping them, certain he must look like an unruly toddler throwing a fit.

“I didn’t think he’d take it so seriously. I wasn’t even talking about him exactly.”

Paul leans against the door jamb.

“You like to be liked. I get that. But I think this one may be a lost cause. You were in the wrong but you owned up to it. There’s nothing else you can do about it.”

TK knows this, fundamentally. That still doesn’t mean he’s willing to accept it.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

TK pulls the flyer Carlos had posted in the cafe out of his back pocket and hands it over.

Paul eyes it warily but reads it nonetheless with a groan.

“This is your brilliant plan to get into his good graces? Do I need to report you to campus security? You’re one move away from being this guy’s stalker.”

TK grabs the paper back and looks it over for the umpteenth time.

“I’m not stalking him. I’m…willing to offer up my time to him. Worst case scenario, he rejects me. Again.”

Paul shakes his head. “You’re like a dog with a bone, I swear. Why does this matter so much to you?”

TK clenches his mouth shut and looks away. There’s no way he’s going to admit to having had a distant crush on Carlos for a year and managing to spectacularly ruin their first introduction to each other.

“I just don’t want him to have the wrong idea about me. I want to make this right.”

Paul runs a hand over his head and sighs.

“I get the feeling there’s more to it, but I’ll let it go and say good luck. Don’t drive yourself crazy over this, alright? Though,” he says, gesturing to the flyer in TK’s hands, “I think you might have already crossed that bridge.”

~*~*~

The modeling call can only be described as a total bust. The few people who have stopped by have been questionable at best and Carlos has to wonder if the universe has been screaming a warning to him these last few weeks that he’s just been too stubborn to listen to.

Carlos is ready to call it quits when the door to the art room opens. A guy with a lean build enters, his face turned away as he looks back at the door as it closes behind him.

For one shining moment, Carlos feels hopeful but the moment it seems to register who has just entered, the feeling vanishes. In its place now is irritation as TK Strand comes walking over to him, a determined look in his eyes.

“What is going on? Why are you here right now? How are you here right now?” Carlos asks.

TK holds up his hands; in one of his hands is a flyer. Carlos clenches jaw, his shoulders stiffening.

“Give me just one minute, alright? I know you and I got off on the wrong foot,” TK says quickly.

Carlos raises a brow.

“Okay, I messed up right out of the gate. I get that and I’m sorry. I don’t want you to hate me.”

That last sentence strikes Carlos most of all. In the grand scheme of things, he can’t imagine why his perspective on TK should carry any weight in his eyes. This is now the third time TK has offered to smooth things over after his comments at the student showcase.

“Everyone on campus basically worships you. I think you can survive one guy you don’t even know not being a fan.”

“I just want us to be okay because yeah, alright, you may never speak to me again, but I don’t want you having a bad impression of me. But you’ve obviously made your mind up already. I need you to know it wasn’t personal against your work. I felt that way about everyone’s stuff.”

TK searches his eyes pleadingly; it’s clear this is gnawing at him. To be fair, Carlos has far bigger issues to focus on than keeping this ridiculous fight or misunderstanding going.

“You’re sorry. I get it. Thank you for apologizing, okay? You don’t have to keep doing it. It’s fine, alright? I mean it. Seriously.”

TK doesn’t look so sure, but he nods and takes a breath.

“Cool.” He rocks in place for a moment, looking at the walls.

Something appears to catch his eye. Carlos watches him as he walks past and heads towards the far side of the room. He stops right in front of a piece Carlos did at the start of term.

“This is amazing,” he says quietly.

Carlos comes closer to stand beside him.

“Thanks.”

TK turns to look at him again.

“You did this?”

Carlos nods and looks at the piece. He’d give anything to repeat that level of work now.

“It feels like you. I should have known,” he says with a small laugh.

Carlos isn’t sure what to make of that comment. It’s the polar opposite of what TK had to say just the other day at the showcase. But Carlos knows the image in front of him came from a different place, outside of the fog he’s been dwelling in for weeks.

“Maybe you do know a thing or two about art after all.”

TK turns and smiles at him and the way his head is angled towards him, it makes Carlos’ fingers itch to sketch out his sharp jawline. He looks away then and back at his old piece.

“How’s the search been so far today?” TK asks unexpectedly.

Carlos lets out a resigned sigh, stuffing his hands in the front pockets of his jeans.

“Not well,” he admits.

TK bites back on his lower lip, his eyes flitting between Carlos and his art piece.

“What if I could help with that?”

Carlos shifts and crosses his arms over his chest, intrigued in spite of himself. His desperation must truly be at an all-time high for his interest to be piqued like this.

He drops his arms to his sides and stands up a bit straighter.

“I’m listening.”

~*~*~

TK pops his head through the door of the art room and finds Carlos setting up a large sketchpad on an easel.

It’d taken some convincing, but when they’d spoken two days ago and Carlos reluctantly lowered his guard, TK managed to make a case for himself and offered to sit in for Carlos. It was easy enough to do with Carlos confessing to him that he didn’t have any real takers. It was a win by default, but TK has never been picky with such things.

He takes a look at Carlos now, clad in a denim jacket and gray shirt, dark jeans fitting him snugly. There’s always such an effortlessness to him that TK finds far too appealing for his own good.

He clears his throat to announce himself. Carlos glances over in his direction and waves a bit awkwardly. TK can tell he’s still unsure about this.

“You can take a seat right up there,” Carlos says, gesturing to a quasi-stage. In the center is a high metal stool.

TK does as he’s told and sits on it.

“Shirt on or off? I’m definitely not above nudity, for the record. In case you wanted to fully commit,” TK says, wiggling his brows.

Carlos rolls his eyes, a gesture TK has learned to simply accept as second nature for Carlos at this point, as far as TK is concerned. Carlos gets up and takes off his jacket before walking over to him. TK can’t help but to admire Carlos’ arms.

He snaps his attention to his face instead as Carlos tucks a hand under his chin and angles his head slightly to the left. His touch effectively silences TK for the moment. Carlos tilts TK’s head a bit more, brows furrowing. TK isn’t sure what he’s aiming for exactly here but so long as Carlos keeps touching him, TK won’t complain.

He thinks he speaks too soon because Carlos lowers his hand and returns to his stool and easel.

“Keep it on. I’m just studying your face today.”

“Hope you enjoy the view,” TK says with a wink.

“This whole process works a lot better if you sit still and be quiet,” Carlos says, picking up his pencil. “It’s actually the only real requirement.”

TK snaps his fingers and slouches.

“Damn, I should have read the fine print on your flyer then. I must have missed that part.”

Carlos lets out an exasperated sigh and tosses the pencil in his hand to the easel’s tray. He peers over the side of his easel, his face the picture of annoyance and TK knows he’s gone too far with his teasing.

“If you aren’t going to take this seriously, why did you bother pushing for me to agree to this at all?”

TK shakes his head, annoyed too at constantly being admonished like a child by him. He holds up his hands in mock defense.

“Lighten up. It was just a joke.”

“I’ll laugh when it’s funny,” Carlos deadpans. He shakes his head. “You completely lost the position. The lighting isn’t right on your face now.”

He rises from his stool and paces for a moment, his shoulders tense.

“I think we should just call it.”

TK stands up too at this, ditching his own stool and getting down off the platform.

“Dude, are you serious right now? We didn’t even start. I’ll chill out. I didn’t realize it was that big of a deal to you.”

He should have, he knows. But Carlos seems so bent out of shape over this that TK just wants him to relax. It’s obvious though that Carlos is genuinely stressing out and for the life of him, TK can’t fully understand why.

Carlos stuffs his hands into the back pockets of his jeans and pulls in a deep breath. TK’s eyes drift to his chest as it puffs up, his shirt stretching even tighter across his chest, and back to his face quickly as Carlos speaks. Carlos’ gaze lowers and TK can see all the fight is out of him now.

“I’m sorry. It’s not even really you that’s the problem. I’m having a block,” he says, tapping his temple. “I have been for a few weeks now and it’s kind of messing with me. I probably wouldn’t have managed much today anyway so it’s fine.”

TK’s mouth twists to the side a bit. At least now he knows what’s at the core of Carlos’ persisting bad mood.

“Maybe you need to get out of your head a little bit? Do something different and get inspired that way?”

Carlos frowns.

“Maybe you’re right. I don’t know. I’ll try again tomorrow on my own. I’m sorry for wasting your time.”

Carlos still looks far too preoccupied for his taste. He can easily picture Carlos retreating to his place and giving this bad mood more room and time to grow.

“Do you want to hang out?” TK asks, crossing his arms over his chest. “We can do something to take your mind off it.”

Carlos eyes his warily like he doesn’t trust the offer. TK tries not to be offended by the skepticism.

“Hang out?” Carlos echoes.

TK rolls his eyes.

“Yes, hang out. It’s this chill thing people do from time to time in which they relax and spend time together. Crazy concept, but I think you might enjoy it,” TK teases.

Carlos tries to bite back a smile, but TK can see it nonetheless, the way his eyes soften with each passing second and his cheekbones rise.

“You’re really gunning for us to be friends here, aren’t you?”

TK unfurls his arms and puts a hand on Carlos’ shoulder, giving it a squeeze. It’s pure hard muscle yet somehow soft.

“I’ll win you over eventually. Just you wait. You’ll see I can be very charming.”

~*~*~

The problem, Carlos knows, is that there was never any actual doubt that TK could be charming. The issue is just how effortlessly he’s able to wiggle past Carlos’ defenses.

As they walk alongside each other on their way to the diner off campus, TK talks his ear off about the most random things and Carlos finds himself hanging on to every word of it. TK makes for good company and Carlos can’t deny the fact that he’s already feeling himself relaxing the further they get away from campus.

They reach the diner and TK secures them a booth right by the wall length window. According to him, sitting in one is half the fun of going to a diner. Carlos agrees and pours over the menu in front of him, the two of them placing their order for burgers and shakes.

TK waits until the waitress is gone before sitting forward a bit and grinning.

“Having fun yet?” TK asks.

Carlos playfully rolls his eyes.

“Haven't decided yet. Maybe I’ll have a blast when our food gets here. I’m pretty hungry.”

TK rolls his eyes in return at this but laughs.

“I am having a good time though, seriously. Thanks for suggesting this. Sometimes I get a little too wound up when I’m working on projects.”

“No kidding,” TK snorts. “Thanks for agreeing. I know you still have your doubts about me.”

Something twinges inside of Carlos’ gut at this, but before he can think too hard on it, there’s a knock on the window beside them. They both turn at the sound and Carlos sees a guy giving TK a small wave which he reciprocates almost timidly.

The guy’s smile is a little unsure and he looks away from TK to Carlos briefly before walking away. Carlos isn’t sure what to make of the guy’s expression, but TK’s body language changes a bit as he looks after him. TK visibly shakes himself and refocuses on Carlos.

“Who was that?” Carlos asks, unable to ward off his curiosity.

Their waitress returns with their meals and TK shifts a little in his seat as he picks up a fry and dips it into his shake.

“Alex. We dated last year. Things got...kind of messy. He cheated on me and I didn’t handle it well. At all. But we’re alright now, I guess.”

Carlos looks over his shoulder, but Alex is long gone. He hadn’t really pegged TK for the serious type. Now that Carlos thinks about it, he doesn’t know what he’s truly basing that off of exactly. On occasion he’d see TK with guys, but truthfully, he didn’t know what their connection to each other was.

“I hadn’t realized you dated,” he admits.

TK shrugs. “Not so much any more. That whole thing kind of soured the experience. How about you though? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with anyone before.”

Carlos pauses mid-bite on his burger.

“You’ve seen me around before?”

TK’s cheeks redden slightly.

“Here and there. You’re mostly always reading or sketching though or spending time with your friend.”

“Grace,” Carlos says fondly. “But, I mean, yeah. I guess my time is split between those things or spending time in the studio. Dating isn’t really on my radar.”

“Why not?”

Carlos looks at him and shrugs a shoulder.

“I don’t like being casual and that’s all anyone is really looking for on campus. Besides, lately I’ve been liking the free time and not having any distractions.”

TK purses his lips together like he’s holding back a comment.

“What?” Carlos prompts.

TK shakes his head and picks at his food a bit.

“Nothing. It’s just—I wonder if that’s part of the reason why you’re going through a block right now.”

Carlos bristles slightly at this.

“And how do you figure that?”

TK takes a second, popping another fry into his mouth.

“Doesn’t art imitate life? If you’re stuck doing the same things over and over, going to the same places, seeing the same people, feeling the same things, well, it’s no wonder you aren’t feeling particularly inspired.”

He says it so matter-of-factly that Carlos feels a bit foolish for not making the connection sooner.

He sits back against the booth and mulls over TK’s words.

“I feel so out of practice with putting myself out there, I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”

TK takes a sip of his drink and smiles.

“You’ve got a lot going for you. I don’t think you’ll have much trouble at all finding someone. I have a hard time picturing anyone turning you down.”

Carlos snorts out a laugh.

“You’d be surprised then. Like I said, commitment seems to be the number one killer. Guys here don’t really go for that and I don’t want meaningless hookups.”

TK stares at him and Carlos thinks perhaps he’s overshared.

“I think that’s pretty cool of you,” TK says. “You aren’t settling.”

Carlos isn’t sure how to respond to that, especially with TK still looking at him like he’s trying to make his mind up about something.

TK drums his fingers against the tabletop, pulling his gaze away from Carlos and to their waitress passing by.

“Excuse me, Miss? Hi, when you get a chance, can we please have two sets of your finest children’s crayons and placemats? Thank you so much.”

The waitress smiles at the ridiculous request but, living up to his last words in the studio, his charm has clearly won this young lady over. Carlos refuses to say it aloud, but it’s working on him too.

“Coming right up,” she says.

She returns a few moments later and TK thanks her one more time as she sets the crayons and papers down.

Carlos eyes the haul, confused as to what TK is playing at. The boxes of crayons only have about four inside judging by the size of them. TK picks up one of them and dumps the contents on the table before doing the same with the other.

“I want you to make something. Don’t think about it. Just draw,” TK instructs, pushing one of the paper placemats in front of Carlos.

“Are you really giving me a creative exercise right now? My professor would be so proud of you.”

TK grins at this and gets started on his own creation. His excitement is palpable, almost kid-like and free in a way Carlos can admit he hasn’t let himself be when it comes to creating for weeks now. It’s practically contagious and Carlos can feel himself letting go and getting swept up in the frenzy.

“Five minutes, starting now,” is all TK says.

Carlos shakes his head and picks up a crayon and gets started too. They work for a few minutes in silence, just the scratches of crayons on paper and the slight jostling of utensils as they each pour over their respective pages.

“Alright, time,” TK says, setting his crayon down.

Carlos adds two quick strokes before putting his crayon aside as well.

“Let’s see it then,” he says to TK who proudly holds up his picture and hands it over to him.

Carlos bursts out laughing at the stick figures of what he assumes must be him and TK seated across from each other now. One figure has green dots for eyes, the other brown. TK’s drawing looks more or less like what a kindergartner would dream up.

“Hey, no laughing. That’s so mean,” TK whines, nudging Carlos’ leg under the table. “Not everyone at this table majors in art, you know.”

Carlos bites back on his lower lip and smiles around it, ignoring the slight tingle he feels in his leg.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was expecting but this wasn’t it. It’s...it’s beautiful. Truly.”

“You’re right. It’s a goddamn masterpiece, thank you,” TK says, looking it over. “Let me see yours.”

Carlos slides his paper across the table, feeling much better about his artwork now that he’s seen TK’s rudimentary piece. With the limited colors, Carlos opted to draw stained glass panels.

“Whoa.” TK looks up at him. “See what you were able to do in just five minutes? Your muse is still in there somewhere. You just need to keep tapping into it.”

Carlos smiles in spite of himself. This exercise, however silly, has served as a reminder of just how much fun he can have when he isn’t taking things so seriously. It’s mind-blowing to think that TK of all people is the one to awaken this in him.

He sighs softly and offers TK his paper back, but the young man shakes his head.

“We’re trading. You can say you have a Strand original. No one else in the world has one of those.”

“I’ll cherish it forever,” Carlos jokes, but the bright smile he earns from TK and the way it makes his own stomach flutter feels serious.

~*~*~

Though he’s gone to school here in Texas for the last three years, TK doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to just how humid it is. Summers in New York are gross, but it’s nothing in comparison to life under a Texas sun.

All the same, TK finds the chatter indoors on campus to be too distracting for his mission to finish up the reading for his English class. Heading back to the frat house filled with his rowdy brothers would be no good either.

TK finds the first available table he can secure in the shade and hunkers down with the novel and his notebook to jot down his thoughts.

He loses himself in the text, so much so that he’s caught completely off guard by the voice close to him that suddenly speaks.

“Mind if I join you?”

TK looks up, a bit stunned to see Carlos, but pleasantly surprised nonetheless.

He’s got a sketch pad tucked under one of his exposed arms. TK’s eyes track the veins that carve their way along Carlos’ forearm before forcing his gaze away.

“Not at all. Please,” he says, gesturing to the seat across from him.

Carlos sets his sketch pad down and settles in, drumming his fingers on the table.

“I’m glad I ran into you. I was thinking, maybe we could work on setting up some times to meet. I’m not sure what your schedule is looking like these days between final projects and exams, but I’m hoping to cram in as many sessions as we can, so, I apologize in advance if I’m asking too much or cutting into your time. I’m sure you’ve got a lot going on too. But I really do appreciate you helping me out,” Carlos says.

He pauses for a moment, a crease forming between his brows. It’s a telltale sign that whatever he’s going to say next is serious.

“I know I wasn’t…the warmest to you in the beginning. I’m sorry about that. I shouldn’t have held onto it, especially after you apologized. Multiple times.”

TK blinks twice, his brows lifting. The ice between them had certainly melted away at the diner the other day. TK has long since moved past their initial introduction.

“It’s all good. And honestly, this is no trouble. I’m just glad I can somehow help. We’ll get you through that block.”

Carlos lets out a breath and ruffles his curls. “I sure hope so.”

TK smiles reassuringly and picks up his pen again. He props his right arm on the table and places his hand on his cheek as he stares back down at the pages, rereading the last of the notes he jotted down.

“Would it be cool if I did a quick drawing now?”

He peers over at Carlos, rolling his pen between his fingers.

“It’s so hot today. You sure you aren’t ready for me to go shirtless yet?”

Carlos raises a brow in warning, but TK can tell there’s no anger behind it like the last time.

“That’s still a no from me,” Carlos says, rolling his eyes. “Just don’t move this time, okay?”

TK continues to look at him and doesn’t even dare to nod.

Across from him, Carlos opens his sketch pad to a fresh page and begins working on a rough line of him.

TK’s mind floods with a thousand questions he wants to ask Carlos, from the most mundane to the most profound. But he keeps quiet as promised, not wanting to throw off the apparent rhythm Carlos is finding now.

Instead, he stays in place and takes advantage of this time to study Carlos in the way the young man is doing to him. It’s a wonder, TK thinks, that Carlos doesn’t just get a mirror and reference his own reflection for something inspiring to draw.

Just as he thought the first time he saw Carlos out on the quad last year, he is without question the most beautiful guy he’s ever seen in his life. Warm brown eyes, perfect full lips, a strong jawline, and that small crease between his brows as he concentrates making a reappearance, it’s impossible for TK not to fixate on it all. It makes his heart ache to look at him, even more so to think it’s all so futile.

“Are you alright?” Carlos asks, taking TK out of his head for a moment.

“Yeah. Why do you ask?”

Carlos breaks and flexes out his hand as he shrugs.

“I don’t know. Something in your eyes changed.”

TK can feel his face flush a bit in embarrassment.

“Oh. Must have zoned out. Sorry.”

“No need to apologize. Just thought I’d ask.”

There’s no more discussion after that; Carlos resumes drawing and TK does his best to keep his emotions in check. If Carlos looks too closely, he’s bound to know the truth before TK is ready to share it.

Carlos finishes up not too long after and rips the page from his sketchpad before handing it over to TK.

It’s a bit trippy seeing his likeness on the page, but Carlos has done a good job of translating him in this quick sketch.

“What do you think?” Carlos asks after a moment.

“You nailed me. It! You nailed it. The picture, it…god, you know what I mean,” he stammers.

One day he will learn how to speak to Carlos without putting his foot in his mouth.

Carlos’ laugh is rich and seems to fill up every inch of TK’s heart, making it swell in his chest.

“I get it. I’m glad you like it.” Carlos’ smile is private as he looks at the drawing. “First thing in weeks I’m actually proud of.”

“Looks like you’re already coming out of that fog,” TK says.

Carlos’ eyes land on him at once and search his face.

“Maybe you’re turning out to be my good luck charm.”

~*~*~

Sessions with TK are turning out to be highlights in Carlos’ day, despite his best efforts not to get too attached to them. With each one, however, Carlos finds himself feeling more comfortable and settled into his art and he knows that’s due largely in part—or solely—to TK’s credit. TK’s easy-going nature perfectly balances out Carlos’ tendency to overthink and worry. Where sessions inside the studio had once come to feel daunting and frustrating, Carlos now feels optimistic about the kind of work he’s been producing.

It’s been two weeks and already Carlos is seeing improvements, not just in the art he’s making but his outlook overall in tackling his final portfolio.

As usual, he gets to the art room early. TK comes in a few minutes late, a sheen of his sweat on his forehead.

“Sorry I’m late. I got held up with the guys,” he says.

Carlos is about to tell him not to worry when TK leans over to set his bag down, his shirt riding up just a bit to reveal an inch or two of skin. It’s hardly anything obscene and yet it inexplicably quickens the flow of Carlos’ blood.

His eyes flit away and to his empty page but it does little to nothing in curbing the drop of curiosity that’s now bleeding through his thoughts.

“Were you actually being serious when you joked a few times about posing shirtless?”

The question is out of his mouth before Carlos’ has fully conceived of the thought. He has no doubt his face must look as surprised as TK’s right now.

“Are you messing with me?”

Carlos doesn’t see a way of backing out of this now. And, admittedly, he is curious to see where this will lead.

He shakes his head. “No. I…I think we could do at least one with more of your form. But if you aren’t actually comfortable with that–”

TK holds up a hand before pulling his shirt off and tossing it carelessly to the ground.

“How do you want me?”

In the worst way, Carlos thinks as his eyes rake over TK’s chest, flat stomach, and the light dusting of hairs that lead to something Carlos certainly shouldn’t be thinking about.

“Um, standing would be great. Maybe a hand in your pocket, arm curved a bit to get some depth,” he suggests.

TK follows his instruction, completely unself conscious, standing half naked. Something in his eyes shines with such confidence, it leaves Carlos in awe.

He studies TK for a moment. It’s hardly anything new given just how much time they’ve been spending together with Carlos drawing him but it feels different this time, as if he’s truly seeing through to the heart of him.

He realizes perhaps a beat too late that he’s essentially been staring. He coughs once before picking up a bit of charcoal and setting it to the page. It’s much easier now to channel his thoughts. Now it feels far more objective to be taking notice of just how lean yet toned TK’s build is.

For the sake of the piece, he has to notice these details, the dip in TK’s hip where the waistband of his jeans hits him just so, the surprising constellation of birthmarks that sprinkle his torso. It’s his duty now to capture it all.

He takes it all in, a keen eye meticulously mirroring everything he sees. He’s lucked out big time in winding up with TK as his model. For as much as he was reluctant in the beginning, Carlos is glad that he caved. There’s so much to work with here.

TK is patient and manages to stay put, no quips or wise cracking as Carlos finishes up. Carlos takes one last look at his drawing and looks back at TK, more than satisfied with the end result. He nods at TK, giving him the all clear to relax his stance.

TK smiles as he comes over and stands beside him. Carlos’ body goes perfectly still, his eyes trained forward. It’s ridiculous at best, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel slightly flustered being this close to TK in such a state.

“At the risk of sounding totally conceited,” TK says, amusement coloring his tone, “I think you’ve really outdone yourself here. You made me look good.”

Carlos looks up at him then, bites back the urge to say he can hardly take credit for that. TK’s still focused on the image before him for a moment, giving Carlos the perfect view of his profile until he turns his attention on him, his green eyes slightly mischievous and his smile all too inviting.

Carlos blinks and looks away, snuffing out the feeling bubbling up inside of him. He refuses to give it enough air to breathe, to let this thing grow into something he can’t control.

~*~*~

TK fires off a quick text to his frat’s group chat as he heads out of his last lecture of the day. With the fraternity’s upcoming party, the guys are even more active than usual, so much so that TK had to silence his phone during class.

As he walks the grounds, catching up on all that he’s missed, he looks up and spots something that stops him dead in his tracks.

Sprawled out on a navy blue sheet is Carlos, his head resting against a backpack like a makeshift pillow. He isn’t alone; unsurprisingly, Carlos is accompanied by Grace who says something that makes Carlos laugh so much, his whole body shakes with it. The sound carries over to TK and calls to him like a siren song.

TK hikes his bag further up his shoulder and makes a beeline for the pair of them, sidestepping other students soaking up the sun and lounging about in between classes.

“Hey, Carlos,” he says once he’s near enough.

Carlos sits up immediately and turns at the sound of his name. His face goes from startled to warm in an instance and TK is just thrilled they’ve reached this point with each other now.

“Hey, how are you?”

“I’m good. I was just passing through and saw you.”

Carlos’ smile grows. “Well, I’m glad you decided to come over. It’s nice to see you.”

Grace clears her throat and Carlos’ nose scrunches adorably at the not-so subtle reprimand.

“TK, this is Grace. Grace, this is TK.”

“It’s so nice to meet you,” TK says sincerely. Grace is such a fixture in Carlos’ life from what he can see, it feels good to finally interact with her.

“You too. You’re spending almost as much time with this one as me these days,” she replies, poking Carlos’ leg.

“Well, he hasn’t got rid of me yet so that’s reassuring.”

She makes a noncommittal sound as she smiles.

“I don’t suspect he would. From what I hear, you’re something of a lifesaver with these sessions you guys have.”

TK’s brow quirks involuntarily as he wonders at what else Carlos has been saying about him to her. He glances quickly at Carlos, but Carlos appears to have taken a sudden interest in toying with the edge of the sheet.

“I’ve been liking them a lot too. Sitting still isn’t exactly my forte, but Carlos is good at reining me in,” he muses.

Grace laughs and gestures for him to take a seat. TK drops his bag first and settles on the ground beside Carlos. There’s a warmth to Grace that makes TK feel as if he knows her; he can already see why Carlos is so fond of her.

She chats him up about his day and asks him a few questions about himself that he gladly supplies answers to. Every now and then Carlos chimes in, but he’s mostly quiet, seemingly observing. TK is struck most of all by how much he feels like he actually fits in with them. It makes him feel bold enough to get them all together again soon.

“My frat is throwing a party this Friday, if you guys are interested,” he says. “I’d really like for you to come if you can.”

“I’ve been here for three years and I’ve never once been to a frat party,” Carlos laughs.

TK holds his tongue in saying that he’s noticed.

“All the more reason for you to drop by then. It’ll be a lot of fun. Music, drinks, ridiculous games. Me.” TK falters for a moment. “Not sure how much of a selling point that last one is but still.”

Grace sits up and smiles.

“I sure could do with a night out and I know Carlos could too.”

Carlos shoots her a look that TK can’t fully decipher and the two of them appear to have a wordless conversation before Grace turns to TK, an even larger smile on her face.

“We’ll both be there. Thank you so much for the invite.”

Beside him, Carlos pouts a bit and TK can’t help but to find it impossibly endearing.

“Yeah, of course. You’re always welcome to come by anytime…for parties or otherwise,” he says, looking between the two of them, his eyes settling on Carlos.

TK clears his throat and focuses on safer territory: Grace.

“Um, anyway. I’ve got a few assignments I need to work on. I just wanted to come over and say hi. I’ll send you the details. See you guys soon,” he says as he rises from the ground and puts on his bag.

“Tomorrow for me,” Carlos says, catching TK off guard. “If you’re free that is. I was hoping maybe we could squeeze in one more session before the weekend. But if you have to get things together for the party, I’d under—,”

“No. I mean, no to not being free.” TK shakes his head before trying again. “What I mean is, I doubt the guys really need me for much. They’ve thrown plenty of these parties. I think they can more than fend for themselves. Just text me and I’ll be there.”

Carlos searches his eyes for a moment and TK does his best not to squirm under his watchful eye. Carlos’ face betrays nothing of his thoughts and it makes TK all the more curious to know what he may be thinking. It feels like a lifetime passes before Carlos speaks again.

“Great. I’ll keep you posted.”

TK nods once and looks away, almost startled to see Grace still there and looking right at him. Her expression is much easier to read and it tells TK she’s picking up on something he’d rather her not notice.

He feels his face warm up slightly, and feigns wiping at his forehead to play it off as if he’s just hot from afternoon sun glaring down on them.

“Cool. I really should get going, but have a good day, you guys and…I’ll see you both around. It was great meeting you, Grace.”

The two say their goodbyes to him and TK turns, heading back the way he came with an undeniable pep in his step.

~*~*~

It feels like a scene out of the countless movies set at colleges, frat houses lining the streets, drunken people spilling out onto the yards. Inside is decidedly worse. Inside the belly of the beast with loud music and bodies of strangers pressed in against him, Carlos decides his long-standing theory that he would hate frat parties is proven correct to an alarming degree.

It’s easier to digest it all with Grace beside him, but that company is short lived as Grace gets a text from her boyfriend Judd who has locked himself out of his place.

“I’ll go with you,” Carlos offers.

“This is hardly a two person job. Besides, you haven’t seen TK yet. You should stay and find him, let him know you showed up. He invited you.”

“He invited us.”

Grace’s head tips to the side, a light laugh leaving her.

“Oh, honey,” is all she says as she pats his arm. “Promise me you’ll stay and enjoy yourself. At least for a little bit. I don’t want you scurrying back to your apartment and wasting a perfectly good Friday night.”

Carlos groans but nods, giving Grace a hug before she weaves through the crowd. Without her now, Carlos feels wholly unprepared to navigate the scene before him.

He heads for the stairs, avoiding a trio of girls chatting loudly amongst themselves and a couple making out on the landing. It’s too much all at once with music blaring and everyone shouting over the beats to be heard.

He seeks out the first unlocked and unoccupied room he can find upstairs. After a few tries, he lets himself into a bedroom at the end of the hall.

Carlos looks around as he steps further in. There’s a subway map of New York City on one of the walls. On the desk, Carlos sees a picture of TK standing in the middle of a man and woman that he’s the perfect mix of. It’s a snapshot of graduation day in high school, TK proudly holding up his diploma.

Carlos smiles to himself as he picks up the frame for a closer look and for a moment, tries to picture what it might’ve been like to know TK at this time.

He startles at the sound of the doorknob, his head snapping in time to see the door open, TK in the present staring at him in surprise.

“Carlos. You made it.”

Carlos offers up an awkward half smile, feeling more out of place now than he did downstairs. TK looks him over.

“What…what are you doing in here?”

“Sorry. I just needed a minute. I didn’t know this was your room at first,” he says, setting the picture back down and stuffing his hands in his pockets.

TK steps inside and closes the door.

“That’s okay; I don’t mind. I—are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Grace headed out to see her boyfriend and I'm apparently really not good at parties by myself. I don’t know anyone here.”

“Well, that’s not completely true. You know me.”

Carlos smiles a bit.

“Yes, that’s true. But you should be down there mingling. You shouldn’t have to babysit me now. So I’ll just go and let you get back to it. I did have a good time tonight though,” he says politely. “Thanks for inviting me and Grace. I can check this off my college bingo card. Goodnight, TK.”

“Wait,” TK says, grabbing a hold of his wrist lightly as he walks past. “Can’t you just stay here with me? These parties are a dime dozen. We could watch a movie or something up here instead. Please?”

Carlos’ brows furrow. TK seems so serious, nervous even like he’s scared Carlos will just fly away. He tells himself it doesn’t mean anything as he nods, thrilled at the concept of carving out alone time in the midst of it all.

“Okay, yeah. We can do that.”

TK smiles in what looks like relief. It’s only then that he lets go and Carlos’ skin feels cold at once without his touch.

“You can pick. I’ll go grab us some food from downstairs. I’ll be right back, okay? Don’t move.”

TK backs out of the room and Carlos stands for a moment just looking at the door. The impossibilities of tonight just seem to keep coming. Carlos turns away then and looks back to TK’s laptop perched on his bed.

Carlos kicks off his shoes, lines them up at the foot of TK’s bed before climbing inside. It feels both foreign and familiar to be in TK’s bed. His scent is everywhere and it strikes Carlos just how much he’s subconsciously grown to love the smell.

He shakes his head, pushing that thought from mind. He reaches for TK’s laptop instead, bringing it closer as he waits for TK to return. He does a few minutes later, armed with a bag of popcorn and drinks cradled in his arms.

Carlos jumps to help him, alleviating half of his finds. He takes TK’s lead and settles onto the bed once more. It’s even more surreal now having TK beside him.

He keeps himself busy, grabbing a drink for himself.

“Do you want one?” Carlos asks, holding out a beer to him.

TK shakes his head.

“No, I don’t drink.”

Carlos cocks a brow teasingly.

“A frat boy who doesn’t drink. You’re a rare breed.”

Something changes in TK’s eyes and Carlos knows instantly that he’s misstepped severely here.

“I got into some stuff in high school…had a setback not too long ago, but I’ve been good for a year now.”

The full gravity of what that means hits Carlos.

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything but…for what it’s worth, that’s pretty amazing. A whole year. Congrats.”

TK genuinely smiles at this. “Thanks. Nights like these are fun, but they can also be tempting sometimes.”

Carlos bites back on his lower lip for a second.

“Why do you come to the parties then?”

TK pauses for a moment and considers the question.

“I guess I like the distraction.”

“From what?” Carlos knows he shouldn’t pry, but his curiosity is piqued and this is the most earnest he’s ever seen TK be.

TK takes another pause, but his eyes quickly find Carlos’ as he answers.

“Feeling alone. Being alone.”

TK lets out an airy laugh as he stretches out his arms and flops back against the pillows.

“God, that sounds horribly depressing and pathetic, doesn’t it? Wow,” he says to the ceiling.

Carlos reaches for his hand before he can fully think about what he’s doing. TK turns his head to look at him then.

“Sounds pretty human to me.” Carlos holds his gaze for a moment, his heart beating a little bit faster now that he’s got TK’s full attention.

Outside of positioning TK during their sessions, he’s never really touched him like this before. He loses his nerve easily and lets go.

“At least for tonight you’re not alone. You have me. Not sure if it counts for anything, but—”

“It means more than you know,” TK cuts in. “It means everything.”

Carlos isn’t sure what to say to this, but luckily TK doesn’t give him room to try and offer up a response.

“So, what will it be, huh?” TK asks, pulling the laptop closer. “Comedy, action, your choice.”

TK’s ability to pivot so easily makes Carlos’ head spin.

There’s so much more below the surface when it comes to TK, a multitude of hidden depths. Carlos wants to explore it all.

~*~*~

TK takes the steps two at a time as he heads down the stairs of the frat house.

The ground and surfaces are littered with trash from last night, but TK is in such high spirits that the impending post-party cleanup does nothing to dampen his mood.

He greets his brothers before beelining for Paul who is cleaning off a mirror covered in lipstick-written scrawls.

“Morning,” he practically chimes, grabbing a washcloth of his own.

“Someone’s in a good mood.”

“Someone’s in a great mood,” he corrects.

Paul’s eyes narrow slightly, calculating.

“You disappeared on us.”

TK shrugs. “I was still here…just up in my room.”

He thinks of how nice it was to come back into his room and find Carlos on his bed, looking as if he belonged there, just an accepted fixture in the room.

Paul raises a brow. “Who was the lucky guy this time?”

“Carlos.”

Paul stops scrubbing at once, his eyebrows shooting upwards.

“Hold up. What? You and Carlos—”

TK shakes his head quickly, holding up his hands.

“Not like that, no. I found him in my room. He’d been feeling, I don’t know, overwhelmed I guess after Grace left and needed a minute to himself. He was going to leave, but I asked him to stay and watch movies with me.”

Paul stares at him for a moment.

“Sooo…you guys basically had a date in the middle of the party.”

TK’s face flushes as he shakes his head.

“It wasn’t a date. We just hung out and talked. It was chill. No big deal.”

Only it certainly felt like a big deal, as if something monumental had shifted between them. TK hadn’t been expecting to get as candid with Carlos as he did last night, but he felt safe to be vulnerable. In all honesty, it felt good to let Carlos in. Easy.

Paul scoffs lightly and rolls his eyes.

“You’re so gone off this guy.”

TK resumes wiping as he tries to collect his thoughts.

Carlos had dozed off midway through the second movie and TK had left him to rest.

By the time Carlos had come to again, face soft from sleep, the credits were rolling. It struck TK, perhaps naively, how much he wished he could wake up to that face.

“Kinda have been for a while now, but it doesn’t matter,” he admits. There’s very little sense in denying what he’s sure has been written on his face this whole time.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that. He was ready to leave, but he stayed just because you asked him to. You guys really have been spending a ton of time together. I don’t know, it sounds like it could be the beginning of something.”

He wouldn’t know the first thing about molding himself into the shape of a guy worthy of someone like Carlos.

Naturally he’s pictured it, but thinking about something is world’s away from actually having it.

“I don’t want to get my hopes up. We’ve been getting along really well lately, and that can be enough.”

“Considering where you guys started out to where you are now, I’d say that’s an understatement. But I get it. It’s scary putting yourself out there. He seems like a good guy though. If you’re curious to know where his head is at, I’d bet he’d be open about it.”

TK chews on his lower lip.

“In order to find that out, I’d have to tell him what I’m feeling. And I’m just…not there yet.”

Paul nods in understanding.

“At least now you’re upgraded from being his enemy,” he teases. “Anything is better than that.”

~*~*~

As Carlos winds his way through the writing center, he reaches Grace just in time for the end of her current session.

The student she’s with must be a freshman and Carlos has to wonder if he looked that tiny back when he was first starting out.

“I’ll see you next week, okay? Great work today,” Grace says to the student who beams back at her before leaving.

Carlos steps closer, lifting up the tray in his hands that holds two to-go cups and a white paper bag.

Grace makes grabby hands at him and Carlos laughs as he surrenders her English Breakfast tea and madeleines.

She bats her lashes playfully like a cartoon character before thanking him and taking a sip.

“How was the rest of your night? Did you leave right after me or did you actually stay and have some fun with everyone?”

Carlos takes a seat across from her and grabs his coffee.

“Oh, you mean after you ditched me?” he teases. “I stayed. I had fun with TK. We ended up watching movies in his room.”

Grace comically takes a sip of her tea, eyebrow arched.

“Nothing happened,” Carlos says quickly. “He told me a bit more about himself, some personal stuff. It was nice getting to know him better, but that was it.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that was it,” she says, “but that’s hardly nothing.”

“What do you mean?”

Grace laughs and shakes her head.

“You’re so smart yet so oblivious. It’d be adorable if it weren’t so frustrating.”

Carlos opens his mouth to ask yet again what she’s getting at but his phone buzzes in his pocket. Putting a pin in their talk, Carlos fishes it out, brows furrowing as he sees TK’s name plastered across the screen.

TK never calls; all their communication is done through texts. It instantly puts Carlos on edge thinking something must be wrong.

“It’s him,” he says aloud to Grace before accepting the call and putting the phone to his ear.

“Hey, how are you?”

There’s a short pause and a light exhale on the other end that knots something in Carlos’ stomach.

“Not too good. I’m sorry. I can’t meet next week. I have to head to New York…family emergency.”

Carlos sits up. He’s never heard TK sound this despondent before.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah…no…I’m not really sure. I’m sorry to bail.”

“You don’t have to apologize. Seriously, take all the time you need. If there’s anything I can do to help, just let me know.”

TK falls silent and it makes Carlos’ unease grow, just wondering what could be happening to make TK this frazzled.

“Thank you.” TK sighs softly and Carlos wishes they were face to face now. “I’ll let you go. I need to pack,” he says. “But seriously, thanks for understanding.”

“Of course. Take care, alright? Call me if you need to.”

TK thanks him one last time and says goodbye before ending the call.

Carlos sets his phone down, his thoughts now focused so heavily on TK.

“Everything okay?” Grace asks gently, looking over at him.

Carlos shakes his head slowly and comes back to himself and the moment. He clears his throat and pockets his phone before reaching for his cup.

“I’m not sure. He just called to cancel for next week. He says he’s heading back to New York because of a family emergency. He didn’t say what happened, but he sounded pretty worried.”

Grace frowns. “I hope it’ll be alright.”

“Yeah, me too. He didn’t seem like himself at all.”

Carlos has seen almost every version of TK but until now, troubled hasn’t been one of them. It makes Carlos himself feel anxious inside. The concern must show on his face because Grace calls it out.

“I didn’t realize you started caring so much about him.”

Carlos shrugs a bit.

“He seemed really out of it. Whatever is going on, it must be pretty serious. I just hope he’s okay.”

Grace smiles as she picks up her cup and sets it to her lips.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you guys were actually becoming friends.”

Carlos’ brows furrow as he looks at her. Friends is a heavy word that implies closeness. They have been having breakthroughs since that night at the diner and even more so last night, but Carlos isn’t so quick to go around throwing such a label on things. He’d enjoyed their evening and could tell TK had too but this all still felt far too tentative for concrete titles.

“We have nothing in common.”

“Except for a mutual crush on each other.”

Carlos lets out a laugh and shakes his head.

“I think you’re in need of some fresh air. You’ve been cooped up here all day. It's starting to go to your head,” he says with faux concern.

“I don’t like him in that way and he certainly isn’t into me. I’m not his type.”

Grace looks doubtful and Carlos is certain she won’t be letting this matter go any time soon. It makes Carlos nervous in a way that it shouldn’t. He doesn’t want to stare too closely at the small seed of interest that has settled inside him. To do so would be setting himself up for imminent disappointment.

He’s seen how casual TK is, how little he takes things seriously. If that’s his outlook on most things, it feels safe to guess the same would go for relationships–– especially given what he shared about his ex.

Carlos almost groans now that the idea is growing roots. Now the picture of what dating TK would be like is filling out the corners of his mind. He shakes his head lightly and picks up his cup again, draining the contents for something to do.

“How could you possibly know that?” Grace presses.

“I’ve seen his ex. I’ve seen the people he hangs around. I wouldn’t get along with any of them. It stands to reason that outside of these sessions, TK and I wouldn’t fare well either.”

“Opposites attract, no? You guys are different, sure, but that’s what makes it so much fun. You’ll learn so much more that way.”

She makes a good point but Carlos refuses to allow himself to go there. At best his relationship to TK now is transactional. TK gets to absolve himself of the guilt over his comments at the showcase and Carlos gets to round out his portfolio. Once the semester is over in just a few weeks, he’s willing to bet they’ll go their separate ways and return to a life where they are no longer in each other’s orbits.

Carlos does his best to ignore the sinking feeling that hits him just then.

“He seems nice. And he’s very cute,” Grace tacks on. “You spend all this time drawing him. You can’t tell me you haven’t noticed.”

Carlos sighs and runs a hand through his hair.

“Of course I’ve noticed. I noticed the first time I ever saw him.”

Grace perks up at this and smiles.

“But then he opened his mouth at the showcase. And whatever…attraction, however fleeting, it went right out the window.”

Her smile instantly fades.

“That feels like a lifetime ago. He’s apologized several times over and you guys are in a good place now.”

Carlos looks away then, back to his now empty paper cup and picks at the lid with his thumbnail. They really have been carving out a unique dynamic and the more time they spend together, Carlos can feel a difference inside of him. With TK, he’s able to laugh again and get out of his own head. That alone feels like a gift. The last thing Carlos wants to do is go tampering with that, pushing for more if there’s no actual interest on TK’s end.

“I know. But it’s better this way.”

“Better or safer? Those aren’t the same things,” she says.

Carlos looks up at her then. Safer, he thinks. There’s no chance of getting hurt if he doesn’t take the risk at all. If nothing changes, he doesn’t have to open himself up to the inevitability of TK growing bored.

“I think he likes you. I think he has for a while now.”

If Grace’s suspicions are true, Carlos thinks the feelings may be temporary. From the start, TK’s objective has been to earn his forgiveness, to be in good standing with him. It’s a game that will ultimately run its course and once it does, there will be no reason for TK to stay.

At best, they’re on borrowed time and if they in fact come with an expiration date, Carlos doesn’t want to be the reason it ends even earlier.

He clenches his jaw and Grace gives him the most sympathetic look that makes him feel pathetic. He isn’t fooling either one of them here.

“A guy like him could break my heart if I gave him the chance,” he says honestly. He feels lighter from confessing to this already. “I have too much on my plate right now to add dating and feelings into the mix. We’ll work towards friendship and keep it at that.”

Grace purses her lips but doesn’t say anything–– not that she has to. Carlos can tell she doesn’t agree with a word of this, that she would want him to have his best shot of happiness like she’s been able to find with Judd. But Carlos knows that not every story gets a happy ending. The sooner he accepts that fate for himself, the easier it will be when faced with the reality of it.

~*~*~

The best way to describe TK’s thoughts and movements today would be auto-pilot. He can’t exactly remember getting to his classes, but he’s got pages filled in his books with notes from each one with today’s date. He moves through campus in a fog, his thoughts close to two thousand miles away in New York City and on his father he had to leave behind.

The guilt gnaws at him uncomfortably though he knows there isn’t much he can do or is even expected to do. All the same, being at school feels trivial in the grand scheme of things. He feels like a stranger in this place that’s been so familiar to him for years now.

What he needs, he ultimately decides, is some kind of semblance, something that feels safe.

It’s the first fully conscious choice he makes today. At the end of his last lecture, he stuffs his bag with his belongings and journeys from the science building and across campus to the art one.

TK keeps an eye on the art room numbers until he gets to the one Carlos typically sets up shop in. He peeks through the glass, smiling to himself when he spots Carlos alone.

At once, his mind finally quiets.

Carlos is seated at one of the large work tables, his glasses jostling a bit as he rubs at his right eye. TK can only imagine how long he’s been here, no doubt toiling away on the piece in front of him. He has his headphones on, his lips moving soundlessly to the lyrics of whatever song he’s listening to. He doesn’t pick up on the fact that TK has now entered the room.

It gives TK the chance to study him for a moment as he begins sketching again. His brows narrow to a point as he works. It’s obvious, even from a distance, just how much care Carlos is putting into the piece.

TK takes another step but manages to break the silence in the room, his leg bumping against a stool.

Carlos jumps a bit in his seat and takes off his headphones. TK can hear the tinny sound of instruments just before Carlos pauses his music. He looks a little flustered as if TK has caught him doing something embarrassing. Before TK can apologize for the intrusion, Carlos is greeting him with a tentative smile and speaking.

“TK. I didn’t realize you were back.”

TK adjusts the strap on his shoulder and smiles a bit, ignoring the small thrill that runs through him at the sound of his name on Carlos’ tongue.

“Yeah, I got in early this morning. I figured you might still be in here. At least I hoped you were.”

Carlos looks at him and TK can see the concern in his eyes.

“I’m glad you got in safely. Is…is everything alright back home?”

TK looks down at his hands. He’s barely been back in Austin and already TK wishes he could return to New York. It’s where his thoughts have been from the moment he’d gotten the call from his dad a couple of days ago.

TK had been quick to book the first flight he could. It’d brought him immense relief to be by his father’s side over the last few days.

“No, not really,” he mumbles. “My dad got diagnosed with lung cancer.”

Carlos curses softly and gets up. For the faintest of seconds, it looks as if Carlos is about to hug him. TK pushes past the disappointment that washes through him when it doesn’t happen. He and Carlos don’t have that kind of relationship, he knows. He isn’t even sure what he would define their dynamic as these days but friends feels a shade or two off from what they actually are.

“TK, I’m so sorry.”

TK shakes his head. “Thanks. It's the best case scenario though, according to his doctor anyway. My dad is feeling confident so I’m trying to follow his lead on that one and not think about it too much but—,” he sighs. “It’s scary. I’m scared but I don’t want him to see that.”

TK had been terrified but for the sake of his father–– and perhaps his own well-being–– TK has been trying his hardest not to dwell on it or make matters worse by fretting over things that haven’t even happened yet and probably never will.

“I can’t even imagine what you must be feeling, but I hope he gets better soon and that you’ll be okay too. I know this must be really hard for you. That doesn’t even do it justice.”

Carlos is so earnest; TK can see the sincere anguish in his eyes. It makes him feel a little less alone having shared this with someone outside of his family.

“Thanks, that means a lot.” He draws in a breath, the weight of this truly pressing against him now.

“Anyway, I just thought I’d swing by and let you know that I’m back. So, whenever you want to meet up again, we can figure something out.”

TK gives a small wave and turns half way before Carlos touches his arm. TK looks down at the other man’s hand on his bicep and back up to his face. Carlos quickly pulls his hand away. His touch was brief but TK misses the feel of it already.

“Sorry,” Carlos says, clearing his throat.

“It’s okay.”

They stay quiet for a moment, Carlos searching his eyes. TK can’t help but to wonder, as he always does, what Carlos thinks when he looks at him. His gaze is piercing but softens by the second.

“Do you actually want to be alone right now?”

TK almost sighs in relief and shakes his head. What he wants now more than anything is a distraction, something to take him out of his head for however long it can last.

It makes his heart skip a beat to realize Carlos is able to pick up on that.

Carlos nods once and takes a seat again. TK peers over at the picture he’s been drawing, his eyes widening at the image of himself. Carlos’ skills are truly remarkable and TK can barely tear his eyes away from his likeness on the paper.

“It looks incredible.”

Carlos studies the drawing, his lips turning downward into a bit of a frown.

“I don’t know. There’s something off. Tonally. Drawing from memory isn’t the same,” Carlos says with a sigh, raking a hand through his curls. “But it’s a good start though, I think.”

TK closes the space between them a bit more. Closer to Carlos now, he takes in a small breath, Carlos’ cologne making his head swim and his chest ache.

“Maybe you need to get familiar with me firsthand? That way it’ll stick.”

Carlos pulls his gaze away from the drawing of TK to the real thing, his eyes wide behind his glasses.

“What exactly are you saying?”

The question comes out quietly, measured, almost like Carlos is too afraid to put much weight behind his words. It feels like a challenge TK suddenly realizes he isn’t ready to accept. If he’s wrong, there’s no undoing putting himself out there in such a bold way.

TK swallows hard and shakes his head.

“I’m not really sure,” he lies, surprising himself for how quickly he’s grown discouraged.

He scratches behind his ear and takes a step away from Carlos, undoing all of his progress from before. Carlos blinks twice at him and holds his gaze.

“Um, on second thought, I’m feeling kind of tired from the flight and classes. I think…I think I’ll finish up some assignments and crash early tonight.”

Carlos doesn’t say anything, just nods slowly and picks up his bit of charcoal again. His face is a bit flushed, the tips of his ears pink.

“Right. Yeah, okay. I’ll see you tomorrow or whenever is good for you. If you want to talk, I’m here. I hope you know that.”

Carlos reaches for him again and this time, it seems intentional as he touches TK’s wrist. TK prays Carlos doesn’t notice the uptick in his pulse. He can feel sparks just under his skin, like a live wire but he tamps it down, schools his face into what he hopes is a casual expression.

“I do and I appreciate it. I really do.”

This seems to reassure Carlos who smiles softly and gives him a gentle squeeze. TK doesn’t know if he’d rather Carlos not touch him at all or if he wants him to never let go; this contact is downright tortuous.

In the end, Carlos lets his hand slip away, leaving TK with the phantom feeling of his touch and faint smudges on his skin.

“Good. You aren’t alone in this, TK. I want to help any way that I can.”

~*~*~

The moment he’s left alone, Carlos drops his head into his hands and groans. His glasses press uncomfortably back into his face, but he hardly cares about that now. He’s got more pressing things to worry about.

I should have kissed him.

This thought plays on a sick loop in his mind now as the image of TK walking out of the art room circles alongside it. He shouldn't have let him go. The opening was right there, or so it had felt like it was. TK’s wording could have gone either way, but it seemed too foolish to assume he was flirting.

I think he likes you. I think he has for a while now.

Maybe Grace was right and tonight, TK was one step closer to admitting it. Maybe this was it and Carlos had just somehow managed to throw a wrench in that by openly questioning it.

Carlos finally sits up and lets out a heavy sigh, his eyes wandering around the quiet art room before landing on his drawing of TK that, in more ways than one, pales in comparison to the real thing.

Frustration courses through him and for a wild moment, he thinks of scribbling out the image he’s worked so hard on or simply crumpling it up and tossing it away. It feels almost like it’s mocking him now, TK’s eyes staring back at him on the page, intense and uncertain just as they’d been only moments ago.

Carlos calls it quits shortly thereafter, deciding to simply stuff the sheet of paper into his folder and bury it inside his bag.

He puts his headphones back on and queues up music for his walk home. Though the sun has already set, the air still feels uncomfortably warm against his skin. Constricting almost, but Carlos isn’t so sure that isn’t just his mind playing tricks on him. The only thing that’s truly suffocating now are his thoughts, all of them centered solely on a certain guy with stunning green eyes and perfect lips that he absolutely should have kissed.

He considers calling Grace now to get her opinion, but the more he plays it back in his head, he’s not sure if there really is anything to report on. It certainly did sound as if TK was flirting with him and it scares Carlos just how much he wishes that was actually the case. What terrifies him more is if he’s wrong.

He decides against calling her, too fearful of owning up to his cowardice and uncertainty and settles on driving himself mad replaying the entire exchange the whole way over to his apartment.

Carlos kicks off his shoes at the door and locks back, shutting off his music and taking his headphones off. He heads to the bathroom, scrubs his hands clean of the charcoal he’d been working with this evening before taking a shower.

All the while his mind still buzzes with thoughts of TK, even after he’s settled in for the night.

He rolls over in bed and reaches for his phone, the screen telling him it’s just after eleven. He goes to his messages and hesitates as he taps on his thread with TK. Carlos debates whether or not to reach out. TK had mentioned he’d had a long day and would be heading to bed early. He certainly deserved all the rest he could get after the week he’s had.

Carlos pushes the doubt aside. If anything, TK will simply just wake up to his message and there was no harm in that.

Carlos

Just checking in. I hope you’re okay. My offer still stands, if you need someone to talk to.

TK’s reply comes quickly.

i was just about to text you

can i come over?

Carlos bolts upright and stares at his screen. He reads the simple sentences three times, not sure he can trust his own eyes before replying with a yes and sharing his address.

~*~*~

TK doesn’t hesitate as Carlos’ text comes in.

He stuffs his feet into the nearest pair of shoes he can find, caring very little about showing up to Carlos’ place in sweats and t-shirt. He’s wasted enough time.

As he arrives at Carlos’, TK feels anxious—in the best way possible. Being around Carlos always makes him happy and though they left things on a semi-awkward note this evening, TK is just glad to have another chance to see him again so soon.

Maybe now he’ll find the nerve he lost just a few hours ago.

He knocks twice on Carlos’ door and stares straight ahead, his chest tightening a bit in anticipation as he hears the door unlock, Carlos opening it a second later.

TK can’t help the way his eyes travel along Carlos’ impressive frame. He doesn’t think there’s a person on earth who could blame him for it, not with Carlos standing there in a form fitting tank.

The material looks damn near painted on, clinging to every contour of his abdomen and completely putting his strong arms on display.

TK tears his eyes away from Carlos’ body long enough to look at his face. It’s soft at this late hour, made all the more endearing by a loose damp curl that hangs just so over his forehead.

Suddenly his mind fills with ill-advised thoughts of Carlos in the shower. He tucks that into the back of his head. Now isn’t the time, but he can’t make any promises he won’t revisit it later.

He swallows hard and struggles to remember how to speak.

“You were right before. I don’t want to be alone…but I also really don’t want to talk about that stuff with my dad.”

Carlos nods and steps aside to let him in.

“That’s okay. We don’t have to. Honestly, I’m just glad you’re here. I was worried about you.”

TK smiles softly at that as he comes into the apartment. He looks around himself, drinking in his newfound surroundings.

Carlos’ place is more or less what he pictured the apartment of an art major to look like. There are haphazard stacks of art books, novels, and sketch pads crammed into and on top of bookcases. Large empty canvases and an easel lean against the walls. All around are paintings and drawings TK assumes are all done by Carlos himself.

TK stops short of one picture in particular, spotting his own drawing from that night at the diner pinned to the wall.

He looks over his shoulder at Carlos and finds the young man already looking at him.

“You kept it,” he says, unable to keep the surprise out of his voice. “Not only that, you displayed it.”

“Strand originals are rare, or so I’ve been told,” Carlos replies with a casual shrug before breaking out into a smile.

TK bites back on his lip and shakes his head in disbelief. A gesture like that has to mean something.

He gets back to milling about Carlos’ apartment, looking at more of the art that adorns the walls.

“Do you want something to drink? Tea, water, coffee?”

TK glances over at him.

“You’re really big on hospitality, huh?”

Carlos’ cheeks flush a bit. “I just want you to be comfortable here is all.”

“I’m always comfortable with you. Maybe a little too much sometimes,” TK says, moving away from the wall and taking a seat on the couch.

Carlos lingers for a moment before following him over. Rather than sitting beside him, Carlos perches on the coffee table right across from him.

“Is that such a bad thing?”

TK shakes his head. “Never said that it was.”

Carlos’ jaw clenches, the muscle flexing as he pulls in a breath. He runs a hand through his semi-damp curls.

“I don’t know what to make of you sometimes. You confuse me.”

TK sits up, his head tilting slightly.

“Ask me anything then. Maybe I can clear some stuff up for you.”

Carlos looks a bit taken aback by this level of openness. He squares his shoulders and TK can already guess where his thoughts must be now.

“What did you mean earlier? In the art room?”

TK searches Carlos’ eyes and leans in closer to him. He can hear Carlos’ breath catch. TK is tired of second guessing, of thinking at all.

He gently cups Carlos’ face, his own breath faltering now as his thumb brushes lightly against Carlos’ bottom lip.

He leans in slowly, heart pounding fiercely but Carlos doesn’t move away or make any signal that he doesn’t want this to go any further.

“I meant,” TK says softly, “that you should get to know me in a different, more intimate way.”

He lost his nerve earlier. He won’t make the same mistake twice.

“That way, whenever we’re apart again, you’ll know the feel of me, not just the sight. You could pull from a more concrete memory.”

TK licks his lips and strokes the corner of Carlos’ mouth with his thumb again.

“If that’s something you’d want, anyway.”

Carlos’ eyes widen but they flicker with an unmistakable wanting. Carlos closes the space between them at once, one hand gently caressing the nape of TK’s neck. This touch alone sends sparks through TK’s entire body. Carlos has touched him before, but never like this and certainly without this level of intent behind it.

TK braces himself as the small gap between their lips fades entirely. The first press of Carlos’ lips on his makes TK feel dizzy. His eyes close as he embraces it, getting lost in the heady rush of Carlos’ mouth claiming his. TK hands it all over willingly.

Heat pools in the pit of his stomach, something molten that seemingly courses through his veins the longer the kiss goes on.

He opens his mouth and it’s as if Carlos had merely been waiting for the opportunity to deepen it, his tongue ensnaring TK’s hungrily. The moan that rips through Carlos makes the hairs on the back of TK’s neck rise.

He’s never been kissed like this before, as if it’s vital to the other person. Carlos kisses him like he’s essential to his well-being just then.

TK lets him have his fill, pulling him in closer still, greedy for every little bit of him that he can get. His hands find their way into Carlos’ hair and clutch firmly to the smooth, slick curls. His body shudders, his fingers tugging gently on Carlos’ strands. It makes a small whimper emit from him and TK relishes in learning all the ways to make him come undone.

Carlos slows down but doesn’t part, his fingers gently combing through his hair. The gesture somehow makes TK’s heart beat even faster.

TK rests his forehead against Carlos’ and pecks his lips one last time as he breathes Carlos in, mind racing. He’s pictured this far too many times than he’d ever admit aloud. Yet still, nothing could have ever prepared him for the reality of it.

“I thought you hated me,” he says, his voice a bit hoarse as his brain comes back online.

Carlos lets out a soft airy laugh and shakes his head.

“More like I’ve been hating how badly I want you. This didn’t seem possible.”

TK pulls back enough to look at him.

“Why in the world would you think that?”

Carlos presses his lips together. His eyes look troubled; it’s obvious he doesn’t want to answer. TK kisses the pinched skin between his brows.

“We don’t have to get into it now,” he says, an echo of the out Carlos gave him when he first walked through the door.

This seems to ease Carlos who nods and finds his lips once more, letting his hand shift to rest gently on TK’s cheek. TK places his hand over Carlos’ as he kisses him back fervently, as Carlos’ tongue skimming across his lips in a plea for entry.

TK grants it to him and would a thousand times over if it means never having to let this go.

~*~*~

Carlos’ eyes flutter open to the warmth of sunlight bathing his face. It’s calm in the way mornings always are for him, but the memory of last night hits him with all the ferocity of an 18-wheeler.

He sits upright quickly and is alarmed by the piercing silence and the fact that he’s alone. He and TK didn’t go far last night, but they’d made it to his bed and kissed until fatigue found them both.

He checks his phone at once, relief flooding him immediately as he sees a series of texts from TK.

TK sorry for cutting out this morning.

trust me, if i could have stayed right there with you, i would have

might have to fight my professor though for scheduling a quiz today or else i’d bail on class

last night was…amazing. that sounds cheesy but it’s true.

can i see you later?

Carlos smiles as he reads over TK’s rambling messages again before writing back.

Carlos

You made the right call in not skipping your quiz. Hope you aced it.

I’d really like to see you, too. Meet you in the studio around 4?

The rest of the day passes slowly in the way time always seems to move when something a person is looking forward to looms.

Carlos anxiously keeps an eye on the door as the time draws nearer for TK to arrive. Ten minutes after four, the door opens and Carlos’ head whips towards the entrance as TK steps in. He takes reassurance in the fact that TK still seems as cheery as his texts did this morning.

“Hey,” Carlos greets, feeling a bit jittery.

TK’s smile is warm and as he leans in to give him a hug, Carlos feels himself relaxing against his body. Being this close to him again so soon just makes what transpired last night all the more vivid.

“I’m glad you wanted to meet up. I think we really need to talk.”

TK’s eyes narrow a bit in what looks like genuine worry.

“Those are never good words to hear,” he says, taking a seat on the tabletop as Carlos sits back down.

Carlos runs a hand through his hair and peers up at him.

“I guess I’m just wondering if you regret last night,” he replies. “The timing...I know you were upset over your dad. Understandably. Maybe kissing me was a distraction at the moment. Things kind of snowballed.”

He bites the corner of his lip and exhales softly through his nose.

“I’d get it if it didn’t actually mean more to you than that. If you just needed to take your mind off everything for a bit.”

TK puts a hand gently on his cheek. It’s so painfully intimate, Carlos can’t bear to meet his gaze anymore.

“Look at me,” TK urges, tucking his hand under Carlos’ chin to guide his eyes upward.

It takes Carlos a few seconds but he searches his face, trying to scan for any sign of discomfort or unease but TK’s eyes are fierce, his voice steady.

“That wasn’t a one off. I don’t want it to be. Whenever I’ve pictured kissing you for the first time, it’s never been on the heels of some major life update. But I don’t regret it. Not for a second. Do you?”

Carlos quickly shakes his head.

“It’s all I’ve been able to think about. If I’m being honest, I think I’ve been wanting that for a while now.”

TK smiles widely at this and something inside of Carlos’ chest aches at the sight of it, knowing that he’s somehow responsible for making him this happy.

“Me too.” TK sighs. “Confession time? I’ve had a crush on you for months. Okay, a year now, actually. So, yeah, I’ve wanted to kiss you for a pretty long time. Not just last night.”

TK reaches for his hand and Carlos laces their fingers together.

“A year?” Carlos repeats. “You didn’t even know me then.”

TK groans. “I know. But I wanted to. So badly. And I’d see you around all the time…I don’t know. I just never worked up the nerve to even say hi.”

Carlos smiles at him, tipping his head to the side.

“Hi.”

TK playfully shoves his shoulder. “Hello,” he says back.

Carlos places both hands on TK’s thighs as he stands up slowly and crowds his space a bit. He can’t help but to feel a little bit smug as TK’s eyes widen and he swallows hard.

Carlos leans in slowly, brushing his nose gently against TK’s before pressing their lips together. TK breathes out softly, a small burst of air against Carlos’ lips before diving back in.

It’s all too easy to lose himself in this kiss, especially as they both grow a bit more daring, hands exploring. Carlos clutches firmly onto TK’s thighs as his hand slips under his shirt and rests on his abs.

TK pulls back enough to look at him, his thumb ghosting just under Carlos’ navel. Until this moment, Carlos can’t say he’d ever realized that spot was a weakness.

Carlos’ jaw clenches as he tries to rein himself in but TK doesn’t let up, no doubt enjoying seeing what his touch does to him. Carlos leans forward, his face burying into the side of TK’s neck. He kisses him once behind the ear.

“Do you have someplace you need to be for the rest of the day?” he asks, his fingertips tracing a trail up TK’s inner thigh.

TK shudders against him and nods twice.

“Yeah,” he rasps. “Your bedroom.”

~*~*~

By the time they reach Carlos’ apartment, TK feels about ready to burst out of his skin.

As soon as Carlos lets them inside, TK has him pressed up against the door, his mouth greedily laying claim to Carlos’.

Carlos matches his fervor, placing both hands on either side of TK’s face and keeping him firmly in place as his tongue slides into his mouth.

TK whimpers, his hips thrusting forward involuntarily at Carlos' assuredness, how effortlessly he’s able to take control though he’s the one pinned against the door.

Carlos lets his hands wander, his palms skimming down TK’s shoulder blades and down his back. He holds onto TK’s frame firmly and TK is glad for it. With how lighthearted he feels now being touched and kissed like this, it helps to have something sturdy keeping him on both feet.

Carlos breaks away, his breathing a bit ragged as he tugs on the hem of TK’s shirt before taking it off completely.

This isn’t the first time TK has stood before Carlos shirtless, but the context is completely different, as is the way Carlos is looking at him.

“You can touch me now,” he says, assuming Carlos’ thoughts must be similar to his own.

A small smile tugs at the corner of Carlos’ lips, letting TK know he’s right.

Carlos reaches out with both hands, letting his palms rest flatly against his chest. TK is positive Carlos can feel how wildly his heart is pumping, but he can’t find it within himself to feel embarrassed or bashful about it.

He’s wanted this so desperately for a year now. He’s having a hard enough time even wrapping his head around the fact that this is actually happening.

Carlos’ palms slide further down until his hands drop off at the waistband of his jeans. Carlos hooks an index finger through one of the belt loops and tugs TK toward his bedroom.

TK kisses him softly as soon as they’re through the door, his eyes fluttering shut as he savors the taste of Carlos once again. He cradles the back of his head, fingers grasping a fistful of curls gently. He walks backwards, leading them to the bed. The back of his legs hit against the mattress, the two of them tumbling down softly.

TK doesn’t stop kissing him, even as his lungs begin to burn in protest. Carlos breaks first, his breathing just as heavy. TK takes the small reprieve to look at him and takes stock. Carlos’ usually warm brown eyes are dark with hunger, his mouth red and swollen. He looks absolutely wrecked already and TK is all too eager to break him down some more.

Carlos takes off his shirt, dropping it off the side of the bed as he shifts to straddle him. TK can’t drink in the sight fast enough.

It was hardly difficult to guess the other man had an incredible body, but daydreaming until this point has still left him wholly unprepared.

It’s ironic, TK thinks, that Carlos studies art when he looks like this, like some carving of a god turned to flesh. TK could write novels about Carlos’ pecs alone, never mind the rest of him.

“Are you okay?” Carlos asks, breaking TK from his thoughts. “You haven’t said anything in about a minute. That must be a record,” he teases.

TK laughs. “How’s this then? How are you real?”

Carlos’ face and neck flush and it further supports TK’s inquiry. There’s simply no way a guy like this actually exists, but faced with this impossibly lucky scenario, he won’t question it.

He lets his fingers explore the terrain of Carlos’ abdomen shamelessly, the ridges of hard muscle, the smoothness of his skin. He delights in the goosebumps that rise on Carlos’ arms as a result of his touch. He wonders if he’ll ever get used to this effect he has on the other man. TK doesn’t think that’s possible.

Their eager hands quickly remove the rest of their clothes, the process only impeded slightly as they steal kisses in between.

With no barriers between them, TK feels something like a current run beneath his skin having Carlos naked on top of him.

Carlos hovers over him a moment, a feather-light touch of his index finger connecting the dots along his torso before being replaced with his mouth and tongue. TK’s back arches toward the warmth, his toes curling as Carlos maps out a path down to his hip.

TK’s legs spread instinctively. Carlos mutters a curse under his breath as he burrows between TK’s thighs. His kisses and bites are deliberate and teasing. He’s so wound up and leaking, his body craving even more. TK is certain he’s going to combust if Carlos keeps at this rate.

He says as much and earns nothing more than a laugh. Carlos kisses his way back up TK’s body until their mouths are aligned. He runs his hand across TK’s hipbone before brushing his thumb across the head of TK’s cock. TK writhes against the sheets, letting out a choked sound in surprise and quickly melts into Carlos’ touch, his hips snapping forward.

Carlos curses quietly and gets his hand around the both of them, setting a steady pace as he jerks them both off.

Carlos sucks on his neck, hard enough that TK knows it’ll leave a mark. He couldn’t care less. If anything it’d feel like an honor to have the proof of tonight plastered on his skin for the world to see.

With each slide of Carlos’ cock against his own, TK feels his sanity slipping, his thoughts entangling so much he can barely form anything coherent. It’s never felt like this with anyone before. The way they work off each other is unlike anything he could have ever imagined.

“Carlos, I’m—,” he chokes off, unable to finish his sentence as a ripple of pleasure washes through him.

He grips Carlos’ wrist and closes his eyes as he catches his breath. Carlos stills, his soft breaths fanning across TK’s face.

“I want all of you,” Carlos rasps, his forehead resting gently to TK’s.

Somehow this soft press alone feels even more intimate than anything else.

“I’m right here. Have me.”

Carlos kisses the tip of his nose and moves off of him briefly to rummage through his nightstand, returning to him when he’s grabbed what he needs.

TK licks his lips and settles back against the pillows. He watches Carlos coat his fingers and feels his heartbeat ratchet up as Carlos’ hand falls between his legs.

The first brush of Carlos’ fingertips against his rim knocks the breath from TK’s lungs. He bites back on his lower lip as Carlos begins to prep him in earnest, his mouth falling open at the first slide of Carlos’ finger inside him.

His body relaxes at the other man’s touch. TK seeks out Carlos’ mouth, kissing him heatedly as he grinds down against his finger. Carlos’ pace is steady and TK feels him everywhere at once. As one finger becomes two and two becomes three, TK gives himself over to Carlos completely, in absolute awe of the way he’s able to get under his skin and loosen him up.

He sighs softly as Carlos removes his hand, body practically vibrating as Carlos shifts to get a condom over himself.

TK grips his hips and guides him forward, his eyes rolling shut as Carlos enters him carefully.

“Oh, my god,” he rasps, throat dry as he’s filled.

He dares to open his eyes then and finds Carlos looking right at him, his gaze piercing and sure. Carlos brushes his knuckles across his jawline before dropping kisses along that same path. It’s a level of intimacy TK hadn’t been expecting, but he relishes in it all the same.

His grip on Carlos tightens as he drives into him over and over. He lets Carlos’ words of praise wash over him, delighting in hearing how good he feels to Carlos. He shares the sentiments entirely.

TK traps his bottom lip between his teeth to stifle his moans, but Carlos gently tugs at his chin until he sets it free again.

“Don’t get quiet on me now. I want to hear you,” he muses, kissing his forehead as he thrust forward hitting TK’s prostate directly.

TK cries out in pleasure, his dull nails scratching at Carlos’ back. Carlos lets out a moan of his own, his free hand fastening around TK’s cock and stroking his length steadily as he works himself in and out of TK.

TK’s left leg fastens around Carlos, his hips shifting slightly. The new angle drives Carlos in deeper with each return.

Their sounds echo off the walls, heavy pants and muttered curses as the pressure mounts. TK can feel himself losing the battle to stave off his finish, his cock twitching against Carlos’ palm.

He comes hard a few beats later, his hips snapping forward all the while. He can feel the tension in Carlos’ taut frame. TK’s hands move down the expanse of Carlos’ back to his ass, his lips brushing against the shell of his ear.

“You’re right there, babe, come on,” he urges, the pet name falling freely without a thought.

Carlos trembles, breath catching as he finishes. TK helps him ride his orgasm out, stroking his back as Carlos fucks into him. Carlos’ movements come to a halt but they stay tangled in each other for a little while, enough for TK’s heart rate to return to normal.

“You’re unbelievable,” Carlos says, searching TK’s face before kissing him so deeply it pushes all thoughts from TK’s head.

Begrudgingly they part, getting themselves cleaned up and with each second that passes, TK grows more anxious that this night has come to an end.

“Could I borrow this?” TK asks, holding up an Astros crewneck sweater he finds on Carlos’ desk chair.

“Go for it.”

TK slips the sweater on, at once comforted by the soft material and Carlos’ scent imbedded in the fibers. It almost feels as if Carlos is embracing him.

TK leans down to kiss him goodbye. Carlos’ hands frame his face as he kisses him back, so deeply it stirs up something inside TK. He sinks back down to the bed again, straddling Carlos’ lap, knees sinking into the bedding.

Carlos’ kiss is all-consuming, TK can feel it in every inch of his body. His head is in such a fog by the time he pulls away for a clean breath.

“I should really go.”

“Why?” Carlos asks, dragging his index finger along TK’s jawline.

It’s a fair question that he has no answer to. Carlos’ kiss doesn’t feel like a send off in the way past hookups have. It’s not an ending, merely a beginning.

TK lets himself get pulled into another kiss, hearing nothing other than the blood pounding in his ears as Carlos’ tongue sweeps across his bottom lip. TK opens his mouth to him at once, so keen he is in his desire to have every bit of Carlos that he can.

Carlos braces the back of his neck and flips TK to the mattress, slotting himself between his legs.

“Stay with me,” Carlos whispers against his lips.

They’re three simple words, but they strike at something inside TK. He isn’t used to being picked like this. It’s been far too long since he’s allowed a physical connection to be anything more than just that.

But he remembers that evening at the diner, Carlos’ views on dating, and simply just knowing who Carlos is. This means something to Carlos in the same way it does to him.

As far as offers go, this is undoubtedly the best one TK has ever gotten. So long as Carlos wants him around, he isn’t going anywhere.

~*~*~

Carlos wakes with a start. Moonlight creeps through his bedroom window, a pale streak of color in an otherwise dark room.

Beside him, TK is curled up against the comforter, still in the borrowed Astros sweater, the cuffs pulled over his hands a bit. Carlos studies him for a moment, the sereness on TK’s face, the steady rise and fall of his chest, the mark he left on the column of TK’s throat mere hours ago.

His fingers itch to touch him or to draw him. His mind floods with the memory of their time spent getting lost in each other, in learning the intricacies of each other’s bodies.

He rubs at his shoulder and closes his eyes, remembering all too clearly what it felt like having TK hold on to him firmly right here in this very same bed. He smiles to himself as his eyes open and land on TK, once again admiring him. This whole thing has felt like an extremely vivid dream, but the proof that it happened is right here snoozing soundly on his pillow.

Carlos gets out of bed quietly, careful not to wake TK up. He pads down the hall to the living room, grabbing tarp, an available canvas and his painting supplies. He glances at the clock and registers that it’s 2 o’clock in the morning. But with how wired he feels now, it may as well be the afternoon.

He spreads out the tarp and sets his supplies on top. There’s such a comfort that comes with painting, especially in silence like this. With the outside world so still, Carlos’ creativity is able to flourish.

His body feels as if it’s buzzing while he works. It’s all intuitive; he doesn’t overthink. He doesn’t have to think at all. In the silence of the apartment, he loses himself in his painting, snapshots of TK playing like a montage and motivating him further.

The canvas becomes awash with vibrant colors, bursting like a kaleidoscope. It’s all here, his initial hesitancy and frustration when he first met TK. It bleeds into a different kind of hesitancy and frustration, a guarded urge to protect himself. That gives way to a small crack in the foundation where light comes in and fills every inch of space that remains.

He loses track of time and himself as he pours out everything he’s been feeling onto the canvas.

“Carlos, it’s 3am.”

He startles and turns then to find TK leaning against the wall in his boxers and sweatshirt, his eyes squinted slightly at the light.

“What are you doing up?” Carlos asks, surprised to see him.

TK smiles a bit. “I rolled over and you weren’t there. I had to investigate.”

Carlos laughs quietly.

“Mystery solved; not abducted by aliens. I’ll join you again soon. I’m just finishing up here.”

TK pushes off from the wall and comes closer to Carlos. He settles on the ground beside him, their bare knees touching. Carlos looks away from the canvas to TK’s face and watches his eyes scan the surface. TK lets out a soft breath and blinks twice as he speaks.

“I think I get it now.”

TK turns suddenly. “You really do have a gift, you know.”

Carlos feels his face heat up a bit at the compliment.

“Thanks. It just came to me. I couldn’t wait until morning to start. I think this is it. The final piece my portfolio needed.”

TK beams at him and strokes his cheek lightly.

“I think you’re right. I knew you could do it. It was always right inside here,” he says, tapping Carlos’ temple.

Carlos bites back on his lower lip.

“Maybe so, but you kinda broke it free. I’m not so sure it would have clicked if we didn’t spend so much time together. And after tonight…it all just snapped into place.”

TK looks back at the painting for a moment.

“That’s what I make you feel,” he says. It’s not a question and Carlos knows he doesn’t have to offer an answer. The proof is laid out bare before them.

TK’s smile turns into a full-fledged grin.

“Does this make me your muse then? That’s pretty badass.”

“I guess it does.” Carlos laughs. “You really do inspire me. I clearly can’t deny that,” he continues, gesturing to his latest piece.

TK takes a hold of his hands, not seeming to care one bit as his own become streaked with paint. Carlos laces their fingers and smiles to himself, struck by how much they’ve both been letting each other into their worlds little by little along the way.

This, he realizes, is the beauty in letting go, in being brave enough to let himself fall. Without realizing it, he’s been collecting these pieces of TK and storing them in both his mind and heart.

This relationship they’ve been forging since day one just might be his greatest creation of all.

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spiced-koi-friend · 1 month ago

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Two Sides Of A Coin

How exactly is our rival office doing? Surely they must get along great, knowing how efficient they are. But something tells me there's things that happen behind closed doors that perhaps should stay there.

Previous Chapter

Assassin!Goldbullet x Politician!F!Reader, TW: blackmail, stalking Words: 1157 | Rating: R | AO3

“Yo, I’m pretty fucking sure that if you keep that up, you’re gonna get a restraining order.”

“Then I’ll frame it right next to my diploma, and all the photos of him.”

“Fucking weirdo…”

Axel walks away from Flayon, not wanting to get in between him and his obsession with that other secretary. What Flayon does on his own time is none of his business, and at the end of the day he gets all his work done. Axel walks back into Altare’s office, leaning against the door after it closes behind him.

“I’m starting to think that this dude isn’t actually going to kill her.”

“Axel, we have to be patient with things like this. He gave me an update earlier, he’s managed to infiltrate into her office, and was even appointed her personal bodyguard. Even if he failed me yesterday, he’s more than making up for it. If he’s smart, he’ll gather intel as well and know that I’ll pay good money to get that from him.”

“I don’t know, man. Doesn’t feel right…”

“If this is you telling me you’re jealous that you weren’t the one being allowed to kill her, may I remind you exactly why you weren’t allowed to?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m your personal bodyguard and people will know that you told me to do it, and then we both get in trouble.”

“Exactly. 24 is completely independent of our operations. If he gets caught, he’s on his own. He should know this, considering his portfolio was quite extensive.”

“What about his miss yesterday? I thought this dude was supposed to be good!”

“Apparently there was a child that got in the way at the last second, he had to deviate from his shot and reveal his position. Now normally I wouldn’t have cared if he took out others, but apparently his moral code includes only killing people with a paycheque attached to them. Too good to kill for free.”

“I mean, it’s a kid, yo. Not even I would stoop that low.”

“Then maybe I thought better of you, Axel. Is there anything else you need?”

Axel’s hand curls into a fist, Altare just smirks as he knows exactly how to get a rise out of Axel.

“No sir. Let me know if you need me.”

“Always do. Now go back to being a good guard dog.”

Axel leaves the room before he can explode at his employer, slamming the door behind him as he goes out back to cool off. Fucking guard dog. He’s loyal, sure. But he’s a fucking human being. Not some dog to throw around for funnies.

“Happy birthday, Axel!!”

Flayon pops up behind Axel, spooking the shit out of him.

“It’s not my birthday yet…”

“Well… I got you something.”

Flayon hands Axel an envelope, watching eagerly as he opens it. Inside is a cheque for a decently substantial amount of money, which makes Axel a little concerned about where he got it from.

“It’s the company budget set aside for your dildos project!”

Axel looks between Flayon and the cheque, before nearly falling over with laughter.

“Let’s goooooo!”

Flayon looks rather proud of himself, just grinning until Axel can pull himself back together. “

“You know, even though you freak me out a little bit, it’s good to know you have my back, bro.”

“Yeah! Just don’t tell Altare. And make sure you cash the cheque on the other side of town. Even better if you can do it out of the country.”

“...I know better than to ask questions I don’t actually want the answers to…”

…

Flayon disappears back into the office, going back to his multiple monitor setup. Pictures of Bettel are plastered all over his screens and desk, with several being from his own personal photograph collection. On a sticky note he has the number of the other office, deciding to call it up to talk to his favorite clown boy.

“Uh, hello?”

“Hi Bettel.”

“Oh, uh, hi Flayon. What, uh, what’s up?”

“Just seeing what you’re doing. Thought I’d call to see if you’re lonely over there.”

“Uh, no! No, I’m good! Real good. Got some uh, new faces around here. Lots of beef- I mean men. Not lonely at all!”

“You’re seeing other men!?”

“I have eyes, Flayon! And we’re not dating or anything, so I plan on using my eyes to look at whoever I want!”

“You may regret saying that…”

“Well! I think that’s all the time we have for today. Have fun creeping out someone else! Don’t call me!”

Bettel hangs up the phone, leaving Flayon grumbling to himself.

“I will make you feel my love, clown man.”

…

Altare looks out over the town from his office chair, leering over the skyline as he pets the cat in his lap. From here he can see the top of the mayoral building, knowing that it will not be easy to vacate it. He thinks about what Axel said, and he doesn’t really blame him for thinking that way. This entire election rests on whether Goldbullet can carry out the job like intended.

Once his mayoral position is locked in, he has connections with people in higher places. Nothing he can’t buy, no one he can’t buy. Altare will no longer need to pay people to put through the legislation he wants, soon he’ll be able to do it himself. The world is his oyster, and he’s hoarding pearls.

He turns around, grabbing his phone before getting up to pace around his office.

“Hey, what can I help you wi-”

“I have a potential job for you.”

The silence on the other end of the line lasts for a moment, making Altare question whether the call disconnected or not.

“What’s the job?”

“Good. I thought you’d say that. I’ve hired outside help, to assist with a disposal. In the event that he fails, I need you to finish the job, and bring him to me.”

“You know I don’t do those kinds of jobs anymore…”

Altare measures his breathing, keeping his voice low.

“I kept you out of prison, and I can undo all of that with one email. You will do this job.”

“Thanks for reminding me exactly why I stopped doing those kinds of jobs.”

Altare pounds his fist on the desk, startling his cat who was sleeping on his chair.

“I expect you here to sign the contract by tomorrow evening, or else I’ll be unleashing you and Axel in a forest in the middle of nowhere.”

“So glad you’ve never changed. Make sure you have my preferred tea.”

“I look forward to your visit, glad you can be reasoned with.”

With the end of the call, he scoops his cat back up and heads off to find Axel. He has some chats he needs to have with a particular journalist, he needs some stories put out that the public just has to know about.

#goldbullet #goldbullet x reader #holoarmis #holostars en fanfiction #koifictions

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fogwarden · 5 months ago

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So. I'm 23 now. And I'm gonna vomit some words out here so they're not in my head anymore.

A year ago, I had just graduated. Limped across the finish line, really. Still reeling from the end of a six and a half year relationship—one that took most of my social support network with it—I spent a month or so decaying in bed and binging Tears of the Kingdom (honestly I liked Breath of the Wild more, but that's neither here nor there).

On my birthday, over dinner with my older brother, he threw out some suggestions for how to start developing a portfolio. Potential places I might find an in. How to get where I wanted to.

I told him I'd look into it.

I didn't.

I browse job offers that all ask for five years of experience. I sit and wonder if getting a job will give me momentum and it'll stop feeling like it's all uphill. I sit and wonder if it'll just make things worse. I don't look in the box, and Schrödinger's cat continues to live a half-life.

I stare at an empty word document. I write down the name of another game I know I'll like but will never start. I gather scattered seeds of ideas for projects both big and small. I let them wither in my phone notes. I watch more YouTube.

I feel a deep connection with words meant for trans women and continue to remain unhappy with my haggard, unkempt appearance. I tell my therapist I need to sort out all the other things wrong with me, the things that ruined my relationship, before I worry about my gender. I add ADHD meds to my morning antidepressants. They don't seem to be working.

My college friends talk about living together still, finding their way in the adult world. I stare at my childhood bedroom ceiling. I excuse myself from talking with a friend I don't know that well as soon as possible before they can get sick of me. I start typing up a message reaching out to a friend I know very well and then delete it and don't send anything. I start typing up this post and consider deleting it and not posting anything.

It's hard to imagine one wasting an entire year filled with mundane nothings and vast emptiness. And I know that I'm lucky for the privilege of having done so. And that makes me feel even worse somehow.

But the world keeps on turning. And somehow that, more than anything, gives me hope.

I feel wind on my face. I wake up from dreams with my ex less often. I go out for ice cream with another of my brothers. My friend waits to hear back from his college if we can split an apartment with his housing plan. My ADHD meds are gonna be swapped for new ones soon. And I turned 23 yesterday.

And Monster Hunter Wilds comes out next year, so I'm at least sticking around till then.

#this is a heavy read #take care of yourself #hypocritical i know #but still

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ptergwen · 4 years ago

Text

through the lens

w/c: 2.3k

warnings: swearing and mentions of blood (all fluff tho!)

summary: yours and peter’s date night doesn’t go as planned, thanks to his “little” accident and mj’s photography project

a/n: it’s been a minute but i’m back! for now lol i promise i’ll be way more active when exam season is over <3 this was based off the lovely pic above taken by the even lovelier zendaya and i hope you enjoy these… let’s call it random workings of my mind

“hang on, can you come closer?” mj instructs you, you promptly stepping towards her. “is this good?” “great,” she affirms and squints behind the camera. “smile really big on the count of three, okay? one, two, three!” doing as she says, you give mj your cheesiest grin with your eyes squeezed shut and all. she snickers while snapping the moment on her polaroid.

mj asked you to be her subject for a photography project. you’re happy to do it, although it’s super last minute. like, barging-into-your-room-and-begging-you-for-help last minute. she was supposed to turn this in days ago. lucky for mj, her teacher was feeling generous and gave her an extension.

you have to work fast because of mj’s deadline and your plans with peter. he’s coming over for a movie marathon and cuddles right about now. well, he’s actually running a tad bit late. that’s typical peter for you.

“just a couple more, and then you’re free,” mj informs you while shaking out the polaroid. “this is honestly pretty fun, you know.” you glance at the photo she’s holding with an eyebrow quirked in surprise. she captures you well. “what made you choose me?” “no one else was free on a saturday,” she snorts and tosses the picture in a pile with the rest.

your mouth falls agape. “i’m not free! peter’s gonna be here in…” you check the time on your phone, much to your dismay. “he’s a few minutes late, but still. i have things to do, too.” a smirk sets on mj’s face as she gets ready for the next photograph. “relax, y/n/n. i was kidding. i’m sure spider-dweeb will be here sooner than you know it.” sighing lightheartedly, you take a seat on your bed.

“don’t call him that,” you shake your head. mj throws her own head back to the ceiling. “ugh, but that was a good one,” she insists, you only humming. “it’s better than penis parker, at least.” “nah, i like the alliteration,” you laugh out and earn a giggle from mj. “you’re lucky parker doesn’t have super hearing, or does he?” winking, you hit a pose for mj. you’re looking at her over your shoulder with smolder eyes.

“ask him yourself, after you get this shot.”

the two of you continue messing around with her polaroid until the film is almost gone, and peter has yet to arrive. you’re starting to worry. you aren’t sure where he could be.

he doesn’t patrol on weekends unless it’s an emergency, and he would’ve told you if there was one already. he’s never this late without sending a text, either. it’s almost an hour past when date night should’ve started. on the other occasions peter has gone off the grid, they didn’t end well.

“i’m freaking out, em. do you think he’s in some kind of trouble?” you ask mj, pacing around your bedroom. she offers a sympathetic shrug. “maybe he just ate some bad yogurt. remember last time?” being the dummy he is, peter once scarfed down an entire tub of vanilla yogurt before he realized it was expired. no one heard from him for days. he didn’t show up to school or answer any calls.

may ended up inviting you over and explaining he’d gotten a stomach bug, which you then tended to him for the rest of. the story was so amusing, and so peter.

“may doesn’t buy him dairy anymore. why do you think he always raids your freezer?” you bring your fingers up to rub your temples. “the kid can empty ice cream cartons in one bite,” she agrees, silently cringing. her curiosity piques at the fact. “is that also a power?” “who cares?” you nearly shout, your fingers curling into fists. “what i wanna know is if peter is fucking okay.”

on cue, there’s a knock at your apartment door. you and mj exchange looks of urgency, both rushing out of your room to answer.

mj follows you through the hall and stands by your side while you fumble with the lock. when your door pulls open, ned has his hand raised to knock again. “ned? what are you doing here?” you don’t give him the chance to speak. “have you heard from peter? he was supposed to be here a while ago, but he never showed.” rather than answering in words, ned takes a step aside.

the sight you’re met with makes you gasp. peter peeks out from behind him, cuts and bruises littering his flushed face. he gives you a lopsided smile.

“you have your answer,” mj murmurs to you and eyes ned curiously. he lets out a nervous chuckle. “here he is.” you push past ned and practically jump into peter’s arms, your hug bone-crushing. “peter, oh my god! are you okay?” wincing, peter hugs you back by your waist. his chin rests carefully on your head.

“hey… i’m alright, baby. still pretty sore, though,” he sucks his lower lip between his teeth. you take the hint to loosen your grip on him. “i was worried something bad might’ve happened to you. i… i guess i was right.” your tone softens, you threading a hand in his curls. they’re completely disheveled from whatever went down with him.

ned heads inside to catch up with mj, the two of them letting you have a moment alone.

“someone’s got a spidey sense of their own, huh?” peter tries to lighten the mood by joking. it doesn’t work, a frown still evident on your face as you try to untangle his once soft locks. “baby, everything’s fine. i just… had a little accident is all. no big deal,” he reassures you and moves in to peck your lips. you’re so shocked that you dodge the kiss.

“little? your whole face is black and blue, pete!” you tug on the white collar of his button up, peter letting out a shaky breath. your other hand comes to rest on his cheek, touch gentle. “how’d you get like this?” he licks across his lips shyly and sets his hands on your hips. “see, on the way over there were these bad guys who-“

“no there weren’t,” ned cuts in, scoffing at the beginning of his friend’s story. peter shoots him a warning look over your head. “yes there were, ned. you weren’t even there!” he catches mj glaring at him before he continues. “don’t listen to him. anyway, i had to fight them because…” when he trails off, you stroke your thumb across his cheek, avoiding any wounds in the way. raising both eyebrows, mj speaks up.

“because why? go on, parker. i’m intrigued,” she encourages him. everyone can tell peter is lying except you. the question really is, what’s he lying about? he gulps down his spit, pulling your body against his for comfort. “take your time, peter. we can wait,” you say only for him to hear. his love filled eyes meet yours, and he nods. ned huffs at the dramatics unfolding before him.

“dude, you’re making this way worse than it actually is. just tell her!” he demands, mj cocking her head to the side. peter’s gaze flits between the two of them. “tell me what?” you wonder softly and tilt his chin, willing him to look at you again. “i… i…” peter’s shoulders slump, his voice lowering in defeat. “there weren’t any bad guys.”

“of course there weren’t,” ned confirms. “no shit,” mj adds. exhaling, you wait for your boyfriend to further elaborate. “what really happened, then? be honest, pete.” peter lets go of you so he can come into your apartment properly, you shutting the door behind him. he scratches the back of his neck as he fills you in. “ok. um, me and ned were hanging out.”

ned is attempting to stifle a laugh for some reason, which mj elbows him for. you take one of peter’s hands. “yeah?” “we were at my place, and… you know those really slippery steps on the sixth floor?” peter pauses for someone to answer, playing with your fingers. “the ones flash almost wiped out on once?” mj questions in amusement. he lets a quiet chuckle out. “good times. yeah, those.”

his gaze averts to the ground, you listening on. “so, i was walking ned out on my way over. we were talking about spidey stuff-“ “as per usual,” mj mumbles to herself. ned raises his hands in defense. “—and i told ned i could always stick my landings. he didn’t believe me.” you playfully roll your eyes, seeing where this is going. “so… i, uh, decided to show him,” peter finishes off.

“i did a, um, backflip. tripped and fell down the flight of stairs,” he finally admits to you, putting his other hand on top of your intertwined ones. “clearly, i was wrong.” his bloody face is now red from humiliation. “you didn’t trip, dude. you freaking summersaulted!” ned corrects him and bursts into laughter he’s been holding back. “idiots, both of you,” mj simply remarks.

“that’s it? why didn’t you just say that?” you almost laugh yourself. groaning, peter rests his forehead against yours. “because it’s embarrassing! i wanted you to think i’m a tough guy or whatever.” placing both hands on his cheeks this time, you nuzzle your nose against his. “you don’t have to be a tough guy to impress me, babes. you’re kind, smart, funny. makes up for you being such a klutz.”

peter cracks a grin, easily capturing your lips in the kiss he didn’t get to before. it doesn’t last long because mj gags and ned whistles at you. you’re both giggling when you pull apart, peter kissing the tip of your nose for good measure.

“you really mean that?” he checks, tucking back a strand of hair from your face. “of course. i have a thing for himbos,” you tease and poke at his bare chest. his eyes widen. “how about i get you some ice and you find our first movie?” you’re already off to the kitchen, beaming at peter. “date night’s still on?” he happily plops down on your couch, mj showing ned her pictures from earlier.

“as soon as those two get out of here,” you call loudly enough so ned and mj hear you. “yeah, yeah. we’re leaving,” mj deadpans, shoving the photos back into her portfolio. peter glances over at it curiously. “what’s that for?” “photography project,” she says and gets an idea. “i have some film left. y/n took up most of it… you losers want the rest?”

while mj coerces her way to a higher grade, you put some popcorn in the microwave for your movie marathon.

“well, i could use a new lockscreen. i’m in!” ned quickly concedes. him and mj both give peter hopeful looks. “i’m not!” he protests, squishing one of your pillows against his chest. “with my face looking like… this? forget about it.” mj walks over to him and places her portfolio on the coffee table. “what? those gashes are gnarly… in a good way, i mean,” she promises.

“painful, too,” peter murmurs. “y/n, hurry up with that ice!” mj demands, grabbing the polaroid camera from its string around her neck. you wave her off. “what i’m saying is, they’ll look sick in my portfolio.” mj forces a smile, ned looking at her weirdly. “uh, what’s the theme of your project again?” “freestyle, baby,” mj casually replies.

peter comes up with a condition that could persuade him. “if you say please, i might consider it,” he concludes, mj perking up. “please be in my project. pretty please?” she instantly requests, ned pursing his lips from behind her. peter rubs his chin. “y/n, what do you think? should i?” you pipe in from the kitchen. “yeah, so she’ll leave my house.”

“you heard the lady. i’ll do it,” peter gives in. all but squealing, mj gestures for ned to sit. “this’ll only take a few minutes. you guys are really saving my ass.” ned gets comfortable next to peter on the couch, who wants to see how far mj will really go. “aw, we are? i believe that calls for a…” ned catches on. “it comes after please…” mj picks up her camera with gritted teeth. “thank you, morons. say cheese!”

that’s the only warning peter and ned get before they’re blinded with the flash. ned does a toothy grin as he leans into peter’s side. peter musters up the best smile he can, hair a mess and cuts burning pink on his face. satisfied, mj snatches the photograph as it pops out.

“pleasure doing business with you two,” she states, you joining the three of them in the living room. you set the popcorn on the table and give peter his ice pack. he presses it to his cheek, kissing the back of your hand. “send me that!” ned reminds mj, helping himself to your bowl of popcorn. she salutes him.

“there’s my star. what do you say, y/n? wanna take one more really quick?” mj suggests, already holding up her polaroid. you take the other cushion next to peter, your head on his shoulder. “can peter be in it with me? since he’s in the modeling mood tonight.” he wraps an arm tightly around you. “let’s do it, sweetness.”

eagerly jumping in front of you two, mj crouches down to get a better angle. “on the count of three. one, two, three!” the camera clicks, and you surprise peter by laying a smooch on one of his cheeks. he’s holding the ice against his other, genuinely smiling for this picture. ned coos at you, mj showing off her work when it dries.

“how adorable,” she says sarcastically but means it. peter nods at her in appreciation, his lips brushing the side of your head. “what can i say, you’re a pro,” you compliment mj. “come on, em!” ned cheers through a mouthful of popcorn.

tonight was an unexpected and exciting mess, even if your date night did get crashed.

#peter parker #peter parker fluff #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #peter parker smut #peter parker fic #peter parker fanfiction #tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland imagine #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #tom holland smut #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfiction

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jiminrings · 4 years ago

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hellooo can i request a drabble of uni!au art major tae and biochem major yn? also part one of the would you series is AMAZINGGG seriously i cant wait to read more!! <3

rich kid kim

pairing: taehyung x y/n

wordcount: 5k

glimpse: tae’s cold and probably needs a friend more than he needs a model, y/n feels this nEED to take care of him, a term of enderment then a dash of emotional constipation and a sprinkle of jealousy :D

notes: thank you for the request babes!! writing this made my heart melt and aND!!! thank you omg i’m glad you like would you :((

if you squint or if you’ve read insufferable, this is most probably taehyung and his y/n!!!

taehyung is personally more than willing to pay himself out of this project

oKAY LISTEN

he’s not the proudest knowing that he comes from a rich family and he’s the only kid and he’s never really struggled for much

everything was just given to him without any hesitations whatsoever

and yeah he admits that he can nEVER admit that his pampered and luxurious lifestyle since birth has shaped him to be this way and it’s hard to unlearn these types of things

things were too easy for him and thAt’s what made it hard

tae is the farthest thing from an outcast..,.,.,.,

.,.,. but that’s him in his usual rich boi bubble of elites wherever he goes because he’s surrounded by people like him

hoseok and jimin have got to be his closest friends but of course they pursued business degrees and everyone must’ve probably saw that coming

nobody, however, expected the kim taehyung to pursue a degree based rootly on passion and even major in it

yeah that’s right what are yOU looking at???

he’s an art student and yeah he’s taking this seriously ://

do yOU have a problem with that?? do you?? no what did you say?? step the fuck up ky-

spoiler alert: people do have a problem with that

taehyung could tell that his parents did a complete 180 when they learned through jimin’s noisy-ass mouth (not even through their own son) that he’s gonna be getting an art degree

his dad’s the one who’s most especially disappointed at him because well he’s the only child and uhhhh.,.,.,, so who’s gonna inherit the company now.,.,,,

tae normally feels selfish and this time, he felt like he was being rational rather than being selfish!! this is what he passionately wants!! pls god can i be selfish oNE more time

eventually his parents had no choice because as their son explained,, having an art degree won’t keep him away from the family business at all and he could even expand it!! he doesn’t need a degree!!!

lmao he’s been putting the money he gets on the stock market ever since he was ten years old

and they had to accept it eventually because this is what HE wants and if this is the only thing that he wants... then might as well help him through it, right??

now this is another dilemma

taehyung’s applied at a regular university in which everyone’s blended together and no one really cares about who’s who

it’s not exclusive to people like him.

he submitted his requirements and his portfolios by himself!!

and he got accepted!!

he’s nOT SURE if it’s purely because of his skills and himself and not his parents’ money nor influence

whatever it is, he doesn’t want to know because if it ends up being the answer he doesn’t want?? lol he’d crawl into a hole and mope for a week and would be doomed to wear three-piece suits for the rest of his life

so anyways

yeah..,, this is one of the handful of times that taehyung is completely willing to pay himself out

this project was supposed to be easy enough as what the professor said but uH he’d like to passive-aggressively decline pls and thank you

their final project was to make a portrait

right?? easy!!

a portrait of sOMEONE IN CAMPUS,,, regardless if you know them or not

(( well of course you’d get to know them by the end because yea they’re required to show proof that they indeed met and the model did agree to be painted ))

and by the end of the project, it’s either they keep it to themselves or give it to the model!!

that should be easy, right??

...

....

...... pls say right

oh my god tae should probably drop out now so he doesn’t get to do this

rich people don’t necessarily have to be educated, right???? maybe he’ll just settle into being a himbo

he learned about the meaning of the word through urban dictionary that he tHEN only learned about like six months ago and now he gets so many things

taehyung’s not intimidated by the workload of it all -- in fact, he’s even excited about it because it helps him relax!!

what he’s intimidated about is the fact that he’s kim taehyung and there are only two possible options

either his model would be someone who knows him and would be taking every possible step to ensure that they climb the social ladder through him and they’re not even gonna be dISCREET about it

his model wouldn’t completely care about who he is and in the process belittles him upfront and tbh his hart wouldn’t be able to take that and he’s probably wipe his tears away with dollar bills

there is almost no in-between, that one he’s sure of

so why are you like this?

why are you neither of the two and why are you sO kind and go against his expectations????

do you have an ulterior motive or something????

you who’s a biochem major and is actually another building away from his own

you who’s made the initiative that you become hIS model

you who actually oFFERED and almost begged to be a part of a project that would only be for tae’s benefit

... aha

that’s about -5 points from being a cool laid-back nonchalant gal

+10 for looking like someone who’s had a massively obsessive crush on him since day one and looking like you’d lay his life for him

no but lmao actually you just learned about taehyung in a magazine

you were bored at the dentist’s and scrolled through every possible outlet in your phone and it didn’t satiate you anymore!!! so how about reading a good ol’ magazine :D

then came taehyung

it was a whole issue dedicated to him and you were probably too dedicated into reading it that this time it was you telling the dentist to wait lol

that’s as far as you knew about him

and then you learned just some weeks ago that taehyung happens to study where you also study at and that was.,., inch resting

you never really saw him before around campus because it was too big and well maybe if you put in the effort, you’d actually find him

maybe you had a tiny lil admiration for kim taehyung just from one whole issue alone you read at the dentist’s or whatever

you’ve only known about this final project situation through changbin!!!

changbin, your neighbor at the apartment next to you, who’d crash over whenever his wifi feels the tiniest bit slow

yes you did spend a little more money to upgrade your internet situation (most times it’s the router who makes all the difference) because you were so tIRED of having things slow in the middle of researching for your projects in biochem)

no you will nOT have that <3

and of course changbin’s not having your that shitty wifi either so he pushed you to get that in the first place so he can use it too lmao

he’s told you just a couple of days ago about his final project and that maybe, just maybe, he’d make it into a move for this girl that he likes

nothing’s more romantic than pleading for someone to paint ur face right

and your grade and the decision to whether you’re gonna pass or flunk and graduate or retake are relying on you mostly

and in changbin’s case it’s also hIS heart on the line so yeah no pressure at all luv

“i kinda feel bad for rich kid kim, y’know?”

“what about taehyung???”

“eW do you have a crush on him??”

“addressing someone by their name equals to a crush??????”

your banters never stop because you’re as quick-witted as him and he both loves and hates it

he loves that omg someone can keep up with him and that way he gets challenged to always have the last say!!

he hates that oh god why is he friends with someone who reminds him of himself so much how is hE gonna deal with that??

sometimes he’ll purposely argue with you to fEEL something lmao

but there’s just something here that tells him you’re a little more interested now in this flow of conversation ever since rich kid kim was mentioned

“hm, nothing. i’m pretty sure he doesn’t have a model yet.”

he dodges you in the kitchen to look for peanut butter in your cupboard and oddly... you’re not berating him for decreasing your groceries....?

what does changbin mean by that? whAt model?? model as in taehyung doesn’t have the newest model of whatever car he wants? or maybe he has a model girlfriend and-

hold on wait wHAT

taehyung has a-

“m-model?”

he looks at you weirdly but you don’t even bat an eye when he gets ahold of your marshmallow spread so that he could make another one of his s’mores sandwiches

“uhhhh model as in he doesn’t have someone to paint for our project??”

is that what you wanted to hear or,.,

you and changbin share one (1) brain cell and it SHOWS

the two of you have to open your mouths, then close, then ponder, and then do that aGAIN until the both of you could finally grasp if you were in the same page

“oh cool!! i’ll be his model then!”

“yeah but did he ask”

“it’s gonna be easy!! i’ll just tag along with you to your building”

“yeah but did he aSK”

“we’re probably gonna hit it off instantly and then you’ll have to leech off from someone else for their wifi and food and every other necessity that you already have-”

“yeah but dID HE ASK????”

long-story short: no. taehyung most certainly did not ask you to be his model.

but here you are

saying that you came a long way is a bit of a stretch because taehyung mostly turns his head the other way around when you call out to him in public

progress is still progress :D

you’re eating lunch with him at the same table and this time you’re sat beside him!! when normally he’d just walk home to his apartment (lol that’s not allowed but you won’t be surprised to know that he has a free pass) and eat!!!

before that, taehyung would gLARE at you until you stop asking to sit with him in his table

yea he gets a bit lonely at time because jimin and hobi aren’t with him and hE’S the outcast but he won’t do anything about it,, just scroll through his phone while he eats and tune everyone out

you figured that maybe it’s changbin always linked with you in lunch because your schedules just matched up thAt perfectly like it does with tae’s

hee-hee so you might have elbowed him until he begrudgingly agreed to be tolerable, keep atleast four feet of distance from you, and not call tae rich kid kim

spoiler alert: taehyung doesn’t really care about whatever you do because doing those changes with changbin did nOT work at all

however

H O W E V E R

taehyung doesn’t know at all how you’ve wormed your way into his heart!!

what seem to be cold to you is his warmest he’s ever been in such a new environment and outside of his usual comfort bubbles!!!

it’s like you occasionally stealing the food from his plate when you have the same thing is the equivalent of h*lding h*nds with him

you putting your leg over his before he pushes it after five seconds mUST be the equivalent to marriage

wait he’s lying

taehyung does know how you’ve wormed your way to his heart

“hi! i’m y/n! :D”

ok u are a little bit sweaty and out of breath from doing all that fast-paced walking for the past ten minutes

your new shoes that you still need to break into further aren’t helping your situation in the slightest bit

honestly? this is all changbin’s fault <3

he unknowingly gave you the sign that you were looking for

if he says yeah five times with five minutes?? okay yeah you’re definitely looking for kim taehyung and offering yourself to become his model

you don’t wanna sound weird but you feel sorry for him and you wanna help him :((

he’s not helping you tho because he has long legs underneath those trousers and it looked like he wouldn’t budge at all not unless you jogged and stopped right in front of him

“hi! i’m y/n!! :D”

“...”

“.....”

tae’s a bit... perplexed

because who’s THIS entity and why are you standing in front of him

...

....

“bye y/n.”

he wants to exit from this situation because oh my god??

why r u like this

he didn’t ASK for your name!!

and he doesn’t even know you and giving him your name honestly won’t do anything and he doesn’t get what’s your motive and-

“oh c’mon!! you didn’t even shake my hand :((”

he feels even more lost as he tries to wrap his head around that uh.....

you uh.... you wanted a handshake??

.....

tae doesn’t even hide his annoyance because it’s clear as day!!!

he’s blatantly tilting his head at you rudely with a blank stare omg take the hint pLEASE

realizing it now you mAY have came on too strong to taehyung that looks confused as ever

“hi, i’m y/n.”

changbin’s by one of the lockers taking pics of you beaming at taehyung and him scowling down to show you later how dumb you look and how you shouldn’t do this at all

okay LISTEN

his personality trait is to immediately assume the worst out of every scenario possible and that way when something slightly less worse happens? that’s a win babie ;D

he became ur friend in the first place because you heard him yelling since he’s at the door right next to yours and you could hEAR him throwing things around as he cusses his laptop

yeah he cusses his laptop what about it??

if you close your eyes hard enough, you could hear him throw his router against the wall (you later learned that he was so close to finishing his digitalization but then his laptop decided to die) before punching the air

(( the friendship started when you knocked vERY gently and offered him to borrow your laptop even if you aren’t done with all your homework ))

((( changbin thought at first that u were such an organized and too-friendly social butterfly who’s a kiss-ass to everyone but now he thinks ur the coolest person ever and he treasures you more than life itself )))

although, taehyung’s a lot more vicious and closed-off and critical than changbin

he narrows his gaze at you as you introduce yourself for the second time before merely clicking his tongue

“ok cool”

is that uhm

is that IT good sir

“you’re not,” you’re dancing around your words and being careful to not let a pout grace your lips at the sheer lack of enthusiasm, “gonna introduce yourself to me??”

you got a reaction alright

taehyung sCOFFS and that’s the loudest he’s ever been with you in the span of two minutes

“you followed me for ten minutes just to tell me your name. kinda seems like you already know mine if you do that, no?”

this is why you took up biochem instead of law

how do the lawyers not break down???

why does phoenix wright make it seem SO easy?? especially when he’s spoken to in a confrontal tone???

oh god taehyung broke you already

not to be rude but uh what do you wANT

can you get it over already??

“o-oh! uhm i was wondering if i could uHm,” you sound ridiculous now that you think about it and this is perhaps one of the only times you feel embarrassed, “volunteer to be your model for your project?”

hmm

was that a wrong answer,,,

sHOULD YOU HAVE SAID THAT??

“are you in my class?”

taehyung asks and he’s finally said a sentence to you!!! omg

you’re quite shocked so he had to click his tongue to get you to answer

“no, actually!! i’m a biochem major and-...”

that’s all it takes before he hums and nods his head

and for some reason taehyung looks at you like you’re pREY

“are you a stalker?”

okay wait holy fuck wHAT

you know what

you took a sip from changbin’s coffee half an hour ago but why are you only choking on it nOW

you’re positively sputtering and now ur pressured bc tae thinks you’re a stalker!!! a damn stalker!!

“looked at you long enough. i don’t need a sketch artist and i could just-”

no no no pls no

this meeting is going downhill very quickly

“oh my god taehyung i’m nOT a stalker okay!!!”

that shuts him up because your voice is so firm and okAY then how do u explain this stalker smh ://

throughout the whole time you’re talking about changbin being an art major and also your neighbor and everything in between, tae has such a neutral expression that you feel so intimidated

“-and that’s what!! i’m not taking advantage of you or anything, if that’s what you’re thinking i guess? i swear!!”

he listened and well if he’s being honest,,, okay yea you did make sense and he does know changbin

“okay then. i’ll think about it.”

“are you gonna give me your number???”

it’s either you’re so forward or he’s just not used to being caught off-guard

WHICH FUCKING ONE

“what for?”

it’s been so long ever since someone asked taehyung for his number

usually in galas and any other socialite gatherings you could think of, everyone’s number would just be in your phone automatically and you won’t even rEMEMBER how it got there in the first place

better yet, it’s been so long since he went back to his usual routine lifestyle of being himself

his last gala was two weeks ago and tae had to keep looking at his phone to study pdfs and whatever clear pictures he can get of his reviewers back at home because he had a test tomorrow morning

“so you could text me where we’re gonna meet so you could paint me, silly!!”

okay wOAH there

“i didn’t even say that you’d be my model????”

“lol but you were thinking it huh”

that’s it

taehyung has nO choice but to paint you if he wants to finish this project and graduate and have something of a thicker paper to flaunt

it came as a shock to him that hE took your offer and he could only imagine its effect on you

not to brag but tae didn’t even have to sweat for a little because it’s yOU who came to him with this offer!! not him!!

tae lives in the classiest apartment here in uni and everyone probably knows that

much to his insistence that he doesn’t want anyone from uni going outside his apartment, he had to take an L and invite you over

he wouldn’t risk doing his work in any place else because he doesn’t want anyone thinking and getting the wrong idea!!

speaking of, he’s regretting it now because you seem to be too happy being in his space

you’re pointing around and being awed at every possible thing!!!

what??? is this ur first time seeing a rattan hanging chair :// or a massive couch?? or a canvas painting of something so beautiful?? all of that in what’s supposed to be a student’s one apartment??? christ y/n get yourself together

“so what do you want me to do?? where do i sit oR do i stand instead?? i’m gonna need you to know that-...”

“nothing.” taehyung deadpans before he gets his camera so he could get digital shots as well if ever he needs an extra touch when it comes to his final product

the gears in your head are going bRRR and you’re gonna have to ask him to elaborate but taehyung already sets the pace

“nothing. just be your rEALLY annoying self and pretend i’m not here.”

normally you don’t take his words to heart but this one just hits a little close to home bc it’s early in the morning and taehyung already finds you intolerable

“by pretend, do you mean-...”

“up to you. are you more annoying around me or no?”

how did he read your MIND

tae got the thoughts in your head word per word and you’re so amazed at that because fUcK you originally thought that he’s good at bluffing his way up

click!

it’s you smiling at him

no you’re beaming at him

and you’re in front of his morning-lit curtains and you’re against the light

the portrait itself is already visually appealing and satisfying and man the shadows!!! the value!!!! they’re so raw and dreamy and this is exactly his style!!!

it was just a one-take wonder as soon as he took a picture of you!!! and he may have you to hold that position if he needs the push!! he just needs to translate it to canvas with his own language and emotions and then he’s dONE!!

you’re a pain in the ass

you laugh and you move too much

taehyung had you to to revisit that pose and hold it and you wouldn’t stop giggling bc you were too proud that you did THAT!

you also ask too many things that even hE doesn’t have the answers to

how is he supposed to know if red string lovers exist when you went into a spiel just because you saw a red tube of paint???? and why is he saying his opinions on such trivial things when he has his final project to take care of???

and how is he supposed to know why YOU’RE here hanging out with him instead of finishing your own final project

jk maybe it’s the L word but you’re gonna subdue that as much as possible since taehyung looks like he’d leave you by yourself with any chance that he gets

and you even call him terms of endearment!!! nicknames!! pet names!! names that you’d call someone who’s familiar to you and you probably l*ve!!!

angel

that’s what you call him :))

“why do you call me that?”

“because you look like one”

“and how would yOU know what angels look like??”

“because if they were to exist then you’d probably look like one!!”

“but-”

“ok that’s one minute no more questions taehyung <3″

tae just provides you with all the conviction you need to take care of him without even knowing

not in a maternal type of instinct type of way, but rather in a sPECIAL someone type of way

you find yourself caring for him mOre than you ever could for any regular friend you have!!

you just throw a whole loaf of bread to changbin and call it a day

but for tae??? you go above and beyond!!

“did it ever hit you that rich kid kim never really introduced himself to you?”

oh right....

changbin points out one day and you could see where he was getting at

for some reason he always knew what was in your mind at any given time and sometimes it’s to your disadvantage

you seem to be growing on taehyung though!!

he tolerates you better now!!

sometimes he’ll find you loveable even

he likes having someone around and you’re the perfect contender

if he decides to not talk too much, then you fill up the white noise!!

if he wants you to shut up?? then yOU shut up but of course not without babbling for a little

he’s opened up but with some reservations

some reservations that you don’t mind but it’s normal that you feel sometimes left out, y’know??

because it’s been a good month since you and taehyung properly interacted but he still resents you as much if you think about it

“hey angel!!”

“what is it-...”

taehyung looks up from his meal that he’s been poking at his fork because this has to be the fourth time you call out to him

so he turns to look at you and-

uhm

there seems to be a misunderstanding

you weren’t calling HIM

you were calling out to some other guy that iSN’T him

that’s seungmin!!! omg you haven’t seen him in so long and he just happened to pass by your lunch table!!!

apparently he has something to talk to you about which is why you’re standing up and leaving tae all alone on the table

seungmin’s smile is adorable as always and he gets you in a pretty good mood!!

oh god

dear gOD

what is taehyung feeling in his chEST???

tae’s grip on his fork is starting to get pRETTY tight

and if he’s aware enough, his right eye’s twitching and he’s practically scoffing under his breath

why tf would you call him that

WHO is angel and why is it nOT him anymore????

what he’s feeling is just unexplainable and it tastes something like betrayal

“who’s he?”

he quizzes you as soon as you get back to your table and you don’t waver one bit because you know he’s been asking questions recently

“oh that’s just seungmin!! we were childhood friends then he just transferred here awhile-...”

there’s a bitter taste on his tongue and it shows up in his face and you’re not even paying attention to him!!

“really? thought i was him for a second.”

ok now that got you to stop eating

????

why is he acting weird

taehyung looks even more irked because you look sO oblivious right now

“do you call everyone angel?”

o-oh where is this going

“uhm-”

you’re not even finished and to be honest you’re quite lost and taehyung sCOFFS you to the next century

“‘course you do.”

taehyung angrily finishes his meal and you leave it at that because ok maybe he had a bad day?? and he’s just taking it out on you??

and well tae DOESN’T want you to leave it at that

he wants you to ASK him why he’s mad!!! he’s passive-aggressive and it’s getting unhealthy but he’d rather choke than have him spill whatever he’s feeling

the next few days, taehyung avoids you like his LIFE depended on it

you’re not really bothered by it because he has his days, but this one’s just getting out of control

“are you giving me a time-out or something??”

lmao what did u do now

you nudge him when you see him by changbin’s apartment to borrow an easel even though he’s already got it by his apartment

yeah he’s mad at you and he’s petty but maybe he wants to see you again

tae’s giving you silent treatment and you don’t even question him for it

you don’t bother!!

you’re letting him do whatever he wants as always and he dOESN’T like it anymore!!!

he feels like he’s gonna combust at any given time and you don’t give a shit and he feels like yOU should give a shit because you always do!!

you always hover and worry around him but wHY does he feel like you’re not doing it anymore??

why does he yEARN FOR YOU???

it’s quite an an early night for you

you love biochem but sometimes it kicks your ass and it makes you retch at the mention of all-nighters nowadays!! bc they used to be fun but now doing them because you nEED to?? no thx

you’re already in your pajamas and you’re all washed up!! what could changbin need from you at 9 in the evening??

there’s an urgent knocking on your door and you resist the need to groan because you were about to really knock yourself out!! you need to get back all the rest you’ve wasted over your own final project

is that-

“taehyung?”

the man in question is in his huge yellow hoodie that swallows him up every time and he looks positively spent

his hair’s shaggy and his eyes are glazed and there’s a pink tint to his cheeks :((

he’s holding a baby hydroflask in his hands and you’re pretty sure that’s alcohol in there lol

“don’t call me taehyung!!”

he immediately snaps and you’re lost as aLWAYS

did he really just walk all the way to your complex to snAp at you??

“i’m not taehyung,” he frowns deeply and that’s when you’re a bit more mesmerized, “i’m angel.”

is this what you think it is??

your no.1 deflection move is to laugH and you’re doing that rn

something about this whole situation tickles you funny and you’re not sure what to feel about it

“i like your bottle!! i should get one for myself!!”

he could see right through you though

he ignores your stOOpid statements and goes to hold your hands :((

“no, no. i’m your angel. i-i’m your taehyung, right??”

listen

taehyung is the most confusing being you know and he’s so emotionally constipated that he outperforms changbin but this one,,,

this just feels so different

he’s hugging you

he’s embracing you

he’s burrowing his face to your neck and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t ever imagine what this would feel like :(((

he positively 100% might be in love with you

and you positively 100% might be in love with him too

he’s fishing for your hand by your side to put in between your bodies as he shakes it and that’s because he doesn’t wanna let go of the hug

:((((

you’re melting and this what heaven must feel like :((((

“h-hi. name’s kim taehyung and i’m yours.”

#I SPENT A LOT OF TIME ON THIS PLS LEAVE FEEDBACK PLS AND THANK YOU :D #taehyung #kim taehyung #taehyung imagine #taehyung imagines #taehyung x reader #taehyung x y/n #taehyung drabble #taehyung drabbles #taehyung au #taehyung oneshot #bts taehyung #bts imagine #taehyung fic rec #taehyung fic recs #bts fic recs #kim taehyung imagine #requested drabbles

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lo-frequency · 4 years ago

Note

hii, hope you're having a great day!!

may I request a drabble of todoroki (and maybe bakugou if it's not too much work) with an s/o who's trying to be an artist but doesn't have support from their family and I doubting their talent plss?

Hello! I’m having a great day after receiving my first request, lol. Hope you enjoy and thanks for requesting!

Todoroki

You clumsily pushed the front door open, half-stumbling inside and bumping the door closed behind you as you carried your backpack and bulky art portfolio into the house. Shoto’s red and white locks are one of the first things you see upon entering the living room, and he immediately turns his attention to you from the couch, where he’d been reading.

“Welcome home, Y/N,” he says with a soft smile. You offered a brief greeting back as you shimmied out of your shoes and pushed them against the wall. With a heavy sigh, you shift the portfolio in your arms and stalk over to where Shoto was sitting, flopping down on the couch next to him after dropping your bag on the floor. ��

“...Is everything alright?” he asks after an unusually long moment of silence between you two. You knew he was looking forward to hearing what your family had to say about your most recent art project, but you needed a second to gather your thoughts first.

“Not really,” your tone dry as you shift to face him, resting your arms on the portfolio in your lap, “the lunch went terrible. I showed them my latest works, and they barely even reacted. You know how long it took me to make these, Shoto, and they didn’t even look at them twice.”

You looked away from him, staring at the wall with a bitter look in your eyes. “And you know what the worst part was? They started talking about my brother right after. My engineering-major brother, and how proud they are of him. How successful he is, and how much money he’s gonna make,” you say, waving your hands in the air and rolling your eyes. Your facial expression became sorrowful as you shared your next thought.

“I’ve been trying so hard, and they don’t even care,” you say in a hushed voice, balling your fists on top of your portfolio as you felt that familiar sting in your eyes.

Upon seeing your tears, Shoto scooted closer to you and took your hands in his. “You’re an excellent artist, Y/N,” he said with conviction.

“Your family may not care, but I’ve seen what you can do. It still amazes me how much you’ve progressed since I first met you,” he says, lightly rubbing his thumbs over your now relaxed hands, “and I look forward to seeing what you’ll create in the future.”

You look up at him from your lap, a wan smile on your lips. “Thank you, Shoto.”

Maybe it was the way you held his gaze with glistening, hopeful eyes, or the way your hands were now intertwined with his, but Shoto couldn’t resist the urge to press a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“You don’t need your family’s approval to be successful. Don’t let your talent go to waste just because they don’t appreciate it.”

Bakugou

You quickly hit the end-call button and turned to open the door to your apartment, walking in and slamming it behind you. Katsuki peaked his head out at you from the kitchen, his gaze following you as you rush past him to get to your shared bedroom down the hall. You hear footsteps follow close behind, but you don’t acknowledge them, instead choosing to throw your phone on the bed and roughly shrug your jacket off.

“What’s wrong with you?” Katsuki asks, leaning on the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest.

“I was on the phone with my jerk dad, that’s what,” your tone sullen as you yank a hanger from the closet and move to hang up your jacket, your movements made clumsy by anger. Katsuki didn’t say anything else, most likely waiting for you to elaborate.

“The whole conversation was about me working for the family business. The whole conversation, as if I didn’t tell him last month that I started freelancing!” you say, shoving the jacket in the closet. “He always does this, ignoring everything I say as if what I want doesn’t matter,” you say, throwing your hands up. You turn to face Katsuki, crossing your arms and biting your lip, your gaze lowering to the ground.

“He didn’t even give me a chance to fail, and he already thinks I can’t do it,” you say, biting your lip harder as tears welled up in your eyes. “Maybe...maybe I should just stop, after all,” you mumble, more to yourself than Katsuki. The tears roll down your cheeks against your will, and you reach up to roughly wipe them away. After a moment of silence, Katsuki finally speaks.

“...I thought you promised me I’d see your work all over the city someday. Or was that just talk?” he asked you in a gruff tone, but without its usual bite.

“ ‘Course not,” you say with a sniffle, still trying to compose yourself. “I just, I don’t know...what if I’m being too stubborn to see the truth?”

At that, Katsuki left his spot in the door frame and made his way over to you, flicking your forehead once he closed the distance. “That stubbornness is one of your good points, idiot.” At your doubtful expression, he continued, “Not everyone’s bold enough to go after what they really want, ‘specially if it’s hard. But you, you don’t let it get to you.”

You nod your head once, and then again as you thought about his words. “You’re right...I was being dramatic, sorry.”

Katsuki scoffed. “Don’t apologize, just prove your stupid ol’ man wrong.”

You chuckled at that, and a comfortable silence fell between you two. Well, for a moment.

“ ‘Sides, the only opinion that matters is mine, anyway.”

#bakugo x reader #todoroki x reader #bnha x gn!reader #bnha x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #shoto todoroki x reader #bnha fluff #bnha comfort #request

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moldisgoodforyou · 4 years ago

Text

i love you, say it back

wordcount: 1.8k

warning: you might gag it’s pretty fucking cute also there’s cursing there is always cursing

_____

“Hey, Soph.” Rafe tried snapping her out of her thoughts as she mumbled to herself, trying to calculate her midterm grades. Sophie had been chewing on her lip for the past ten minutes, anxious about if she could pull off an A in two of her classes or if she could manage a B+ on her global history midterm. “Hm?” She mumbled, keeping her eyes tracked on her calculation in her notebook.

“You’re stressing me out.” He nudged her foot under the table, trying to get her to look up. They were alone in her architecture lab, late at night, and Rafe was mainly keeping her company, just doing some homework while she was working on a model. It was a typical spot for them on Thursday nights, if he wasn’t able to convince her to go out instead.

“Oh I’m sorry, you’re free to leave then.” She replied, tone dripping with sarcasm.

“Soph.” He tried catching her attention again, looking at her with a fond smile.

She glanced up with an apologetic look. “Sorry, didn’t mean it.”

“I know. Hey, let’s take a break, we’ve been here for five hours. What are you working on now?” Rafe came around and stood behind her, pulling her shoulders back to rub them.

She resisted for a second then let her head fall back, closing her eyes for a moment. “I’m figuring out my grades. I need at least an 84 on my global history midterm to pull it up, and I need a solid 87 on this model to keep my A in environmental studies, and an 88 on my other one to keep the A in programming, which is going to be fucking impossible, and -”

“You’ll be fine, baby, you’re a great student, you work hard. Take a break.” He urged, trying to tug her up out of her chair. She spun in the chair, looking up at him. “You don’t understand. I can’t, I still have at least 20 hours left on this one model.”

“You have a whole week -”

She scrunched up her nose in the familiar way she did when she was frustrated and Rafe had to resist grinning at her. He had made that mistake once, maybe twice, and she had just gotten pissed off that he wasn’t taking her seriously. “No, I have to get this portfolio perfect too. I’m applying to master’s programs next year and if I half-ass this project then it’ll show.”

He took her hands, tugging again to pull her up. “Soph, I love you, but you gotta stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Let’s take a break.”

I love you.

She froze and tuned out every single word after that, just blinking up at him.

“You what?”

“I said you need to stop putting -”

Sophie shook her head quickly. “No, before that. You said you loved me.”

Rafe raised his eyebrows, his arms going slack and he dropped her hands, exhaling slowly. “Oh. Did I?”

She spoke quickly, anxious, and grabbed one of his hands. “If you didn’t mean it that’s fine, I -”

“No!” He interrupted her and knelt down to her eye level in the chair. “I did! I do. I mean it.” He rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand, keeping eye contact and softened his voice a bit. “I love you.”

Sophie gave him a tight-lipped smile, clearly nervous. “Really? Me?”

“Of course you.” He grabbed the chair beside her and pulled it to sit, then rubbed his thumb back and forth over her hand, growing tense again. “I wish it hadn’t just slipped out like that, but I’d been meaning to tell you.” He paused. “I’ve known for a while now, I think.”

She finally came to her senses and pulled him in with both hands on either side of his face, giving him a deep kiss. He finally relaxed and smiled against her lips. “I...you’re my favorite, you know?” She grinned.

He nodded and did his best to hold back his disappointment, his heart pounding in his ears and all he could think was she didn’t say it back. “Yeah. Better be.”

She kissed him again, long and slow, then pulled back just enough to rest her forehead against his. “I, um...I can’t...” Sophie trailed off, hoping he’d get the hint.

Rafe cocked his head. “Can’t what?”

She leaned away, biting her lip anxiously. “I can’t say it back. I’m sorry, it’s not like I don’t - I don’t know -”

His face fell for a moment but he recovered quickly, forcing a short smile. “Hey, hey.” He interrupted, cutting her off with a quick kiss. “I know. It’s okay. Let’s just... let’s go take a break. Walk around, move a little.”

“I don’t know, Rafe, I gotta finish this -”

“Not asking, angel.” He stood, tugging on her hands again. She gave him a wry smile, shaking her head. “You know what that does to me, not fair.” Rafe laughed and nodded. “I know. C’mon, I’ll drag you out of here if I have to. Ten minute walk and then I’ll let you work again.”

She laughed and stood, giving him a quick hug first. He caught her around the waist and wrapped his arms around her, tight. “Love you, Soph. You’re my girl, don’t forget it.” She only nodded, words on the tip of her tongue as she rested her head against his chest. “Hey Rafe?”

“What’s up?” He held her for a little while longer, smoothing his hand over her hair.

“I’m sorry.” She mumbled, not willing to look at him. She’d felt it coming from him for a while and had tried to prepare herself, but the weight of his words fell on her like a ton of bricks.

“You don’t need to apologize.” He kissed the top of her head, then let her go. “Come on, let’s go walk.” He cleared his throat. “Get your mind off of things.”

She didn’t need a translator to know what things meant.

Although every single instinct in Sophie was screaming at her to distance herself from Rafe for the next decade until he lost interest, she made herself continue to hang out with him like normal. She saw the way Rafe’s face dropped after she told him she couldn’t say it back and absolutely hated the way it made her feel - something that made her stop and think.

She’d never let herself get too attached in previous relationships, always being the one to break it off first. Usually she allowed herself a week-long maximum mourning period, then moved on to the next thing. The fact that Rafe even cared enough to say he loved her made her want to stay, to try, just for him.

Rafe was a little distant on his own part, trying not to get too upset with Sophie for not returning the sentiment. After all, he felt like he’d known since December - only two months into dating - and it didn’t feel right for him to say it then. He was a little hurt, but he’d also tried telling her at least twice already and chickened out. He just hoped she was feeling the same way.

Two weeks later, she snuck Rafe into the Theta house up the fire escape. She had just turned in her final project and declared a celebration was in order. He had the routine down by then - walk over, wait around the corner ‘til the coast was clear, hop the gate then come up the fire escape to the top floor. Allie and Julia were just leaving as he was climbing up the stairs, trying his best to keep quiet.

“Skip the fifteenth step.” Julia advised him as they watched him scale the stairs from the parking lot. Rafe paused, unable to place the voice in the dark and tucked a shoebox under his arm, not sure if he should hide or just run. “I’m not causing any trouble, I swear.” Allie laughed and shone her phone flashlight on him. “Just us, Cameron, we won’t tell.”

“Oh.” He laughed. “Is Soph up there waiting?”

“Yeah, will you convince her to come out with us tomorrow? She’s being lame.” Julia called out.

“I’ll do my best. Can you stop shining the light? I’m gonna get her in trouble.”

“Climb faster.” Allie teased as Sophie pushed open the door up top. “You two are the worst, you know that?” She called down, grinning as Rafe made it up.

“Yeah, yeah, you love us!” Julia yelled back, much louder than necessary. Sophie laughed and grabbed Rafe’s hand, pulling him down the hall and into her room quickly. “Are they gonna give me shit every time I come over?” He asked, smiling.

“Yeah, but it’s ‘cause they like you.” She raised her eyebrows. “What’s in the box?”

Rafe grinned, holding out the shoebox with a poorly-tied ribbon on top. “Made you something, to celebrate. Presentation isn’t quite there, but. It’s something.”

“Something.” She repeated, raising her eyebrows. Sophie took the box and untied the ribbon, then gasped when she opened it. “Rafe, you didn’t!” Inside were 7 cupcakes, haphazardly decorated with pink frosting - her favorite color.

He beamed, rocking back on his heels. “I hope they’re okay, I had to use the fancy ovens we have in the Delt kitchen. And it’s just from a box, but the box is normally okay, I think? James stole one - he didn’t know - but he thought it was good.”

She pulled out her phone to take a quick video of them first, then panned the video up to Rafe. He pushed her phone away with a grin, turning a little red. “It’s kind of cheesy, I guess. But. You deserve it. I’m proud of you.”

“God, I love you.” She breathed out, grinning ear to ear.

He paused for a moment, seeming to process, then came over and wrapped her in a tight hug. “You said it back.”

“I mean it.” She kissed him quickly, a blush on her cheeks. “Love you.”

“Love you too.” He replied, pressing his lips to her forehead. She giggled and reached up, swiping her thumb across his cheek. “You have dried frosting on your face.” He scowled but let her rub it away. “Pretty sure there’s flour in my hair too.”

“How’d you know I wanted cake?”

“You mentioned it last week when we watched Matilda, you said you wanted to celebrate with it when you finished finals. But more importantly, you love me back.” He grinned.

“I do.” She laughed. “I mean it, too. I love you.”

“I could hear you say that for ages.” He smiled, looking pleased. “I swear I’ll never get tired of it.”

“Careful what you wish for.” She teased and reached up to kiss him again.

Rafe laughed against her lips, then pulled away just to press his forehead against hers. “I’m glad you waited, you know. I didn’t want you to say it back just to say it.”

“You know I would have held out longer if I didn’t mean it.” She nudged her nose against his. “You’re still my favorite though.”

He beamed and nudged her nose back. “Always my favorite, Soph.”

#rafe x sophie #mine #rafe cameron fanfic #rafe cameron #outer banks #obx fanfic #outer banks fanfic #rafe cameron fanfiction #college rafe #frat rafe

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aerinsfables · 4 years ago

Note

Can I get a part 2 of that flower shop AU? Pretty please with a bit of “slink back to your hole you wyrm” on top???

Okay! 😊 The wyrm part is gonna have to wait for section 3 though. 😂

Part 1 is here.

———

Flower Shop AU, Part 2

———

Bracken hustled through his errands in an effort to try and make it back to the store in time to see Kendra’s reaction to the bouquet he’d put together. It had been a fun, very novel project, and he wanted to be there when she picked it up, but traffic was terrible on the interstate thanks to a car accident which had blocked off the left lane. He looked in his rearview mirror at the tall stalks of fresh flowers he’d had to pick up that morning from one of the farms out toward the countryside and said aloud, “I’m not going to be very happy if you’re the cause of me being late today.”

The clock on his dashboard told him he had 10 minutes to make it to the shop in order to meet her and see her reaction to his work. He let out a loud exhale and tapped his hands on the steering wheel. Traffic was at a standstill. He glanced at the clock again and then reached for his phone and dialed his mother.

“Hello?” came her cheerful voice.

“Hi Mum,” he said. “I’m stuck in traffic and there’s no way I’m going to make it to the shop in the next 10 minutes.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Bracken,” she replied. “I’ll be sure to assist Kendra when she arrives. I’m looking forward to meeting the patron of such an interesting arrangement.”

“Yeah, I know,” he said, unable to hide the minor disappointment in his voice. “Listen. I had made a little sign with the die-cut machine yesterday, and was waiting until today to put it in with the bouquet. Could you do that? You know. Center it in with the blossoms?”

She laughed. “Is that why there’s a pretty, cursive ‘good riddance’ on the counter this morning? I had wondered.”

He grinned and chuckled. “Yeah, that’s for her. I also wanted to give her the option of pouring an entire tube of glitter into the packaging, that way when the plastic is opened or the bouquet is held upside-down, it’ll dump everywhere.”

An amused sound met his ears. “Do we even know what the perpetrator did in order to deserve such punishment?”

“She didn’t say. But she was terribly upset.” He patted the steering wheel again. “I was hoping to cheer her up a bit, so I put together a little bundle of pink and white hyacinths for her. They’re in a small vase next to her order. Will you please make sure she receives those as well?”

“Of course,” his mother replied. “That’s very thoughtful of you.”

“I wish I could be there,” he said. “Please tell her I’m sorry to have missed her. The flowers I picked up for the arrangements for that wedding tomorrow are in the back of the car, by the way, so we can finish those up whenever I can finally get off the freeway.”

“Thank you for doing that,” she said. “I think our new favorite customer is standing outside already. She looks nervous. I’ll see you soon.”

“Yep. I’ll be there in a bit.”

He hung up the phone and looked at the flowers in the back of his car through the rearview mirror again. “You’d better cooperate with me when we get back,” he said. “No drooping stems or anything crazy. You owe me now.”

It looked like the accident up ahead was finally being cleared. Vehicles started to inch forward.

He really hoped Kendra would be okay.

---------------------------------------

“She was surprised by the hyacinths,” Mother said.

“Surprised in a good way, I hope,” Bracken replied.

She hummed in response. “I liked her.”

He smiled. “What did she think of the bouquet she ordered?”

A glint of what looked like mischief crossed his mother’s face. “She was most pleased with your extra touches, and gave many thanks. I wished her well. Really had hoped she would share her story, but I didn’t press her for details. I did take a picture of the bouquet for your portfolio before she left, by the way. Honestly, my son, that was well done and very thoughtful.”

Bracken waved a dismissive hand at her. “It was a fun project. I’ll bring in the rest of the flowers from the car, then email Kendra her receipt.”

A few trips to the car and back, and about ten minutes later, Bracken sat down in front of the computer at the register and clicked on the necessary mail merge templates which ultimately generated the shop’s standard “rate your service” email. He typed Kendra’s email address into the recipient field, attached a PDF copy of her receipt, and sent the message on its merry way.

He never expected to see or hear from her again.

He was wrong.

——

Part 3 is here!

#fablehaven #brackendra #anonymous #thanks for asking!#aerinm writes #flower shop au #not sure how long this is gonna go on but I guess we’ll see!#I’m giving bracken and his family accents in my head btw if that matters at all to anyone 😂

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timextoxhajima · 4 years ago

Text

HOSTIS, Chapter I: Primi Foederis, The First Meeting

Member: Lee Hyunjae (tbz)

Genre (by chapter): angst, drama, comedy featuring doctor hyunjae

Category: Short Novel/ Long Series (because i’m expecting to invest quite a lot of effort into this)

A/N: YEET back with another short novel idk how long this one is going to run. i’m already predicting it’s going to be longer than chaebol juyeon because i have alot of ideas waiting to come out in this one, let’s see if i butcher it LOL. this is the first piece of work i’m posting on tumblr that isn’t part of my playlist feels collection because i don’t think i’ll be able to find a track that fits every chapter well like i’ve been doing for my playlist feels collection. any-o-how, hopefully this is gonna go well... and i’ll see you on the other side ;)

“i’ve invested so much time and effort to make sure i will never have to see you again...”

“but i must’ve done something unforgivable in my past life for fate to put us in the same place,”

“...even after a decade.”

the amygdala helps coordinate responses to things in one’s environment, especially those that trigger an emotional response.

this structure plays an important role in anger.

the rapid, minimal, and evaluative processing of the emotional significance of the sensory data is done when the data passes through the amygdala in its travel from the sensory organs along certain neural pathways towards the limbic forebrain.

emotion caused by discrimination of stimulus features, thoughts, or memories however, occurs when its information is relayed from the thalamus to the neocortex.

based on some statistical analysis, some doctors have suggested that the tendency for anger may be genetic.

but that’s not the case for you.

usually, you’d run your thoughts through your head before you spat them out, but the sight of him was enough to make you want to regurgitate your breakfast.

“you have to be shitting me.”

not one pinch of regret shows in your words, and all you could do was stare in utter disbelief at the man standing right opposite you. the department head had a clipboard in his hand as he flipped through it, only pausing when he heard your cold, yet frustrated tone buried in your expression.

“oh,” he releases the sheets of paper in his hand and places the clipboard down on the table he was leaning on. “so you know each other.”

the gleaming sunlight was shining into the room behind the man standing directly opposite you, and the department head was resting his rear against the edge of the desk between the two of you.

the years of hard work finished themselves as certificates and plaques of achievements that hung on the wall behind him, and from the corner of your eye, you could almost see your own enraged facial expression in the reflection off the awards.

“well, that makes things a lot easier for me, but i am still obligated to facilitate a proper introduction -- meeting -- or whatever the two of you want to call it,” the glasses on his nose would’ve fallen off if he didn’t push them back up his nose bridge.

your eyes were darting back and forth between the department head and the last person you’d ever want to see, or even have within your reach. your jaw was locked and your temples were so tight, you could feel a vein slowly exposing itself on your forehead.

“y/n, this is doctor lee hyunjae, and the both of you will be my mentees for the next two weeks.”

i know his fucking name--

“so until those two weeks are up, i wouldn’t expect anything less than the two of you following me around like little puppies,”

puppies? just call us dogs and that’ll already be half the truth.

“and after that, there’ll be a high chance that you’ll both need work on a research project with the research department--”

“‘research department’?” you blurt out rudely, but the department head doesn’t look like he could care less.

“did i say that wrong?” he raises an indifferent brow at you, arms crossed over his chest while he pulls his shoulder blades backwards.

there was no way you would’ve complained about med school being so difficult if you knew this day was coming. the energy required to contain your desire to punch lee hyunjae in the nose and ram your knee into his groin was enough to drain you in that very moment.

you would’ve passed out if you weren’t standing in the department head’s office.

“i agree it’s not like the hospital to put two young doctors to work on a research project, but the work the both of you did in your respective schools were a little difficult for the research department to ignore.”

‘respective schools’...

the silence becomes deafening, and the department head starts to smack his lips awkwardly loudly. “so if you have no further questions for now, i’d like you to fill up some administrative forms for the hospital to finalise, and then i’ll see you in the cafeteria for lunch at twelve,” he pulls out some sheets of paper from the clipboard and hands it to the two of you after slotting them into clear files.

“after lunch, i’ll give you one more tour around the hospital and a more detailed orientation of the north wing where the research department is... and the east wing where the neurology department is, which the two of you would be officially attached to and on document.”

you skim through the documents in the file, and your eyes naturally travel back up to look at your mentor.

“so if there are no further questions, you may go.”

both you and lucifer bow to your mentor, and he waits for the both of you to leave the office before he returns to his huge leather seat.

you let yourself out the door, not bothering to hold it open for your colleague. the grip on the clear file was tightening every second and you don’t realise you were on the verge of crumpling the contents of it. every muscle and feature on your face were compressed in itself, but luckily it doesn’t catch the attention of passing hospital staff and patients walking along the hall way.

the reflection off the frame of the lift tells you that your lips were white from the airtight closure, and you jab the lift button like you hated it.

“just so you know, i’m not fond of the idea of being stuck with you for an indefinite amount of time either.”

“ha,” you scoff, watching him stand a safe distance behind you in the reflection. “i must be so lucky for you to be able to read my expression and distaste... especially with how hard i tried to hide it.”

he snorts behind you, and the air hits the hair of your ponytail.

“you’ve never been able to hide your feelings anyway,”

this piece of--

“so it would be such an honor to even see you try.”

your eye twitches and your lips pucker in rage at the smug tone in his voice. you turn on one heel and raise the file, ready to swing it into his face.

“you--”

he grabs your wrist, waiting for your strength in your forearm to dissipate. you begin to writhe your way out of his grip with pursed lips, and he drops it like it wasn’t attached to you.

you take a step back towards the lift and mindlessly pat down your white coat, glaring at him with eyes you wish had daggers.

“nice to know your temper hasn’t changed.”

“i have a designated type of temper when it comes to you, not because i have anger management issues.”

the lift arrives and the doors open to reveal an empty space, pouring a bucket full of agony and scorn over your head when the realisation of being stuck with lee hyunjae for an indefinite amount of time sinks into your neurons.

just being around lee hyunjae was so difficult to swallow.

if you weren’t in a hospital with patients who had an actual reason to throw up, you would’ve done it in plain sight.

if you knew there were no laws to sentence you to death for murder, you would’ve stabbed him in the eye.

if you weren’t a doctor who took a pledge to only save lives just under a week ago, you would’ve poisoned him with some godforsaken virus mankind has found a way to contain.

you would’ve enjoyed lunch and the tour of the hospital, despite it being your third time wandering around the compound, if it weren’t for the fact that the last person you wanted to see was standing right next to you the entire duration.

becoming a doctor was nothing short of prestige and honour for your family, especially when you’ve come from a long line of neurosurgeons and relatives who would’ve spent more time inhaling the scent of a certain hospital than their own homes.

it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that it was in your blood to follow in everybody else’s footsteps; your parents would’ve probably freaked out and started worrying that you were someone’s secret illegitimate child if you didn’t become one.

“you must be y/n,” the doctor who had white hair and a wrinkly forehead had to be peeled and shoved off the seat by your mentor for him to get up and greet you.

“this is doctor kim, head of research for neurology,” your mentor introduces as doctor kim shakes your hand.

“and you must be lee hyunjae,” he shakes lucifer’s hand.

‘petty’ was a word nobody usually associated you with, but you busked in the little sprinkle of glory and smugness when you see lee hyunjae’s lips twitch in disgust when he shakes the hand that just touched yours.

“if you’re working on research, then you will report to doctor kim--”

“i’ve seen both your reports and research work and they are phenomenal--”

“uh, doctor kim--”

“how did oxford manage to come up with this set of data?” he literally sweeps his bony, wrinkled hands across the table, looking for something you assume he took from lucifer’s application portfolio.

“doctor--”

“and how did harvard even think about this link? it’s so mind-boggling, i must admit i haven’t really wrapped my head around it--”

“doctor kim!”

the sharp call startles you, and everybody else in the office turns to provide the group of you their attention.

“sorry,” your mentor raises his hand and gives a small apologetic bow. “doctor kim,” he gently removes the items the old research doctor has grasped in his hands and places them elsewhere on the table.

you note that though doctor kim does not look a day older than sixty, he must’ve been losing his brain cells and composure from all the research he’s been doing.

“the two of them will be officially placed in the neurology department under me, but do you remember that email you sent to me about wanting them to join your team?”

“of course! what do you treat me as?” the elder man frowns and pulls off his glasses, fists resting on his hips and looking up at your mentor.

the sight lifts your spirits a little, and you momentarily forget that lucifer was standing right next to you.

“uh-- okay, well, all you gotta do is drop me an email about one week prior to whenever you need them, but for these two weeks they are still going to be trainees mentored by me, you follow?”

the elder man squints at him with eyes that scream ‘i’m not an idiot’, and your mentor takes the cue.

“after the two weeks are up, just drop them an email one week prior to when you need them and you can cc them to me. they may be bright lights in the dark but it might not necessarily guide the right people.”

“will you shut your trap--” the elder doctor picks up a thick file and rams it into your mentor’s head. your eyes widen in shock, hand flying up to your mouth to hide your surprise at the sudden attack. lucifer stands by and crosses his arms over his chest, a light smile appearing over his lips.

“with enough honing and experience, they can go a long way,” he drops the file back onto his table. “you didn’t start here with as much potential as these kids do.”

“okay!” your mentor exclaims, turning around and waving the two of you away from the office space. “if that’s all doctor kim, we’re going to take our leave!”

“you better not let those kids think i’m a crazy old man!” he waves the thick file at all of you, and you give him a little wave while your mentor ushers the both of you out of the office space.

a laugh escapes your nostrils, and your mentor looks down at you with a look of embarrassment while the three of you return to the lift lobby.

“are you two close?” lucifer asks, pressing the button on the lift panel.

“he was my mentor when i first came here as a trainee, so he’s been looking after me since then, even after i stopped being his mentee.”

“oh,” you nod. “that’s nice.”

“well, he is getting on with age,” the lift arrives and he pauses while the hospital staff exit. someone in the crowd greets him.

you and lucifer follow him inside, and he presses the button of the floor that connects the north wing to the east wing.

“so it’s only a matter of time before he retires. i don’t want the hospital to be the last place he’s in and i don’t want the last time he was seen... alive... to be him burying his nose in his research papers. he doesn’t have his own family so he’s either alone at home or in the office and working until someone chases him home.”

“hasn’t the hospital or... i don’t know... you, talked to him about retiring?”

the lift doors open, and you notice the pause in the air.

lucifer’s question struck a chord somewhere, and your mentor was showing it.

“both the hospital and i have talked to him about it, but it’s not easy leaving a place you love working in...”

a pause.

“or at least a place you’ve been working it for more than forty years.”

he brings the both of you to the neurology department and returns the two of you to your neighbouring offices after he concludes the orientation and tour.

the scent of the hospital would’ve been nauseating for some people, patients especially. but there was something about the way the place smelled that convinced you becoming a doctor was worth the effort and hard work.

the way the air smelled like medicine and iv disinfectant made you hopeful for patients, the obligation for every surface to be spick and span never failed to satiate your need for hygiene.

you were finally in a place you wanted to be.

the only downfall was that you were going to be stuck with lucifer for how long, you don’t even know.

“so that concludes the tours and orientation. i hope it was adequate and even if it wasn’t, don’t hesitate to drop by my office and ask me anything you deem important enough to ask. otherwise you can just email me,” he slides his hands into his coat pockets.

the two of you bow, ready to admire his back leaving the two of you before you could roll your eyes at each other.

but he doesn’t leave.

“but before i go,” he raises a single pointer in the air, his other hand still in the pocket. “i’d like the both of you to know that the hospital has no space for... a lack of professionalism.”

you bite down on your bottom lip, slightly embarrassed.

lucifer wasn’t going to let this go.

“everybody has their differences, so i hope while the two of you have yours, it won’t affect your work here. the two of you are promising, and doctor kim wasn’t lying when he said the two of you have more potential than me when i first joined the hospital. with enough experience, the both of you could reach heights even i can only dream of.”

“oh, you flatter us,” lucifer provides a humble chuckle and waves it off.

fake ass.

“i give credit where it’s due,” he returns his hand to the pocket. “so don’t prove me wrong.”

he doesn’t wait for either of you to respond before he walks off. the atmosphere hanging between the two of you was so still, so cold, so frozen, you were almost afraid that if you moved first, he was going to burst into some maniacal laughter.

you suck in a deep breath, your eyes fluttering shut as the cold air sours your nose. the inhalation causes a sharp ache in your chest, not that it bothered you.

“if he says that we both have potential, then i guess that puts us on the same pedestal.”

light seeps in through your lids and you watch the other hospital staff walk in and out of the office, his words running into your ear canals and sinking into the flesh of your brain.

your hear lucifer turn around, and the pens in his pockets click against each other upon his movement. your eyes fixate on a clock on the wall opposite you and beyond some smaller cubicles. the red, digital numbers hanging right between the two lifts glaring at you like a demon’s eyes.

you hear the door of his office click and the friction of the rubber on the bottom of the glass door brushes against the carpeted floor.

“you know,”

you sense the stoppage in his movements upon hearing the sudden words leaving your lips.

“i’ve invested so much time and effort to make sure i will never have to see you again...”

a smile of pain and despair pulls the corners of your lips up your cheek, and you turn your head enough to see him in the corner of your eye.

“but i must’ve done something unforgivable in my past life for fate to put us in the same place.”

you turn back and look at the clock, everyone’s movements within your field of vision slowing down.

“...even after a decade.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 2: Antiquum Fabulum

#timetohajima #lee hyunjae #hyunjae #the boyz #the boyz hyunjae #doctor hyunjae #angst #drama #comedy #what #timetohajima hostis

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riversofmars · 3 years ago

Text

Hope you enjoy the next lot of twists and turns coming up! :D

Charter 11: Past Prologue

Edinburgh, 2021

“I’m not sure we’re gonna find anything here…“ Ryan scanned the dressing room. It was a very neutral area. Barton was not the sort of person to make himself comfortable anywhere, particularly if it was just for the duration of a speech. “Not like he was here any length of time…“ Ryan’s eyes fell on the only item that wasn’t part of the furnishings. “Unless…“

“Forgot his jacket.“ Graham grinned and picked up the coat that had been flung over the side of an armchair. She reached into the pockets and quickly found what he was looking for: “Wallet.“ He announced, pleased with himself and opened it.

“Anything interesting?“ Ryan asked, looking over his grandfather’s shoulder, just as a business card fell out.

“Card…“ Graham picked it up and read: “Anastasis Project. Rings any bells?“ He turned it in his hand while Ryan gave a shrug. There was nothing else on the card apart from the name.

“Let’s meet up with the others.“ Ryan said, and they took the wallet and the coat with them.

“You didn’t follow him?“ Graham asked surprised when they found the rest of the team waiting outside.

“We’ve attached a transponder to his car but he didn’t exactly sound like he was going to see his contacts, quite the contrary, he’s going to be staying away and laying low.“ Jack explained.

“He’s certainly provided some kind of financial support, even if he’s not directly involved.“ Kate’s voice sounded in their ear-pieces.

“Let’s see where the money goes.“ Martha said and Ryan asked:

“Is there anything referring to an Anastasis Project in his portfolio?“ There was silence on the other end of the line for a moment. Meanwhile, they passed around the wallet and the business card.

“Not as such… but it seems like one of his research funds is supporting such a project.“ One of the Osgoods spoke at last. “Freelance. No direct ties.“

“Of course, so he can’t be made responsible for it.“ Gwen huffed, rolling her eyes.

“Do we have the address to an office or anything like that?“ Jack asked.

“There is a registered address, yes, probably fake though…“ Kate supplied, sounding doubtful.

“Still worth checking out.“ Ryan shrugged. It was better than returning to base with nothing. Whether they would have admitted it or not, being back in action made them realise how much they had missed it. Maybe they just weren’t made for the quiet life.

——

Demon’s Run, Main Hanger, 52nd century

“You lied to me.“ The Doctor growled at the Master. She took a couple of steps back, bringing some distance between herself and the two men. Her mind was reeling. She should have known better, she had been through it so many times. A little part of her had believed the Master would at least value the idea of a family enough to forgo a blatant lie. She had seen it when Missy had given her condolences upon learning of River’s death. The Master had always respected her relationship with River. It should have extended to their child. Or so she had hoped. Hope was so hard to resist. But in the end, the Master never failed to disappoint her.

“I did no such thing, I had no idea.“ The Master retorted and his voice was surprisingly calm and measured. He watched his doppelgänger, seemingly trying to figure out what was going on. They were identical, that was for sure but there was something unfamiliar about him too. His delight at the novelty of it had passed, now he required answers.

“Oh I see what’s happening, you're getting the wrong end of the stick here.“ The other Master grinned, clapping his hands joyfully. “See, I didn’t expect you to bring him.“ He carried on, gesturing to the Master. “I didn’t expect you, either, Doctor. Not this version of you. Last I saw you, you were so much younger… What happened to your little human friends? I really hope they died. Painfully. Not that he’s any better, mind, but I really hated those two… that mouthy med-tech and the do-gooder linguist… I should really have killed them when I had the chance…“ He carried on, and the Doctor couldn’t make sense of what he was saying. That part of her life had been lifetimes ago. Five lifetimes to be exact.

“What are you talking about?“ She asked, bewildered. She had met the Master so many times since then, when he had been posed as Harold Saxon, when he had been Missy…

“Oh, Doctor, do I have to spell it out for you? Is old age finally getting to you?“ He chuckled patronisingly, and the Doctor looked at the Master she had arrived with, wondering if he might have answers. He looked just as confused as she felt. “You don’t really think I’m the Master, do you? The Master!“ The other man cackled like it was the funniest thing he had heard all day.

“Then who are you?“ The Doctor pressed through gritted teeth. She hated feeling stupid.

“Your greatest enemy, of course.“ He took a dramatic bow which only served to infuriate the Master next to her more. His eyes flashed dangerously as recognition appeared to dawn on him.

“How did this happen?“ The Master took a threatening step towards the other man.

“What are you talking about?“ The Doctor frowned. Perhaps she had been wrong. There was something familiar about the other Master but the more she heard him speak, the less she believed her initial assessment. Something was very wrong here.

“I should have made sure you were dead last time around.“ The Master spat, baring his teeth at the other man whilst clearly contemplating how he would accomplish the feat again.

“Ah recognition at last. If that imbecile can figure it out, surely you can, Doctor. Has it really been so long for you that you don’t remember me anymore?“ The other Master smirked at the Doctor. “The fun we’ve had.“ He giggled, his voice changing slightly. “Gallifrey? The Crucible of Souls? Artron’s Tomb? You were there for that one, too.“ He winked at the Master.

“Spit it out already!“ The Doctor snapped as a terrible thought crossed her mind. It couldn’t be, could it?

“Oh dear, you don’t have the same presence I used to have.“ The man’s voice changed and suddenly sounded an awful lot more familiar to the Doctor. “I’m frightfully hurt, old chum.“ His voice changed again, laughing and then he barked: “Can we just kill her already.“

“No.“ Colour drained from the Doctor’s face. They should be dead. She was sure of it.

“So what are you doing impersonating me?“ The Master cut in, having had enough of the exchange.

“Impersonating you? I think you’ll find I’ve had this face much longer than you! I wear it better too.“ The other man grinned. “Also, I don’t do impersonations anymore, not since… well, the Nine?“ He looked at the Doctor ravelling in the look of shock on her face. “Remember that, Doctor? I impersonated you and then you impersonated me, and that was just embarrassing.“ He laughed as the Doctor just shook her head incredulously.

“You’re lying. The Twelve died on Gallifrey.“ She was sure of it. The Twelve had died in an explosion, their body had never been recovered.

“Yes. I was there. I am the Thirteen.“ The Thirteen smirked, satisfied that finally, the penny seemed to have dropped.

“You can’t be, you are a future version of him.“ She pointed to the Master. Her experiences with the Eleven and the Twelve had been lifetimes ago. Thousands of years of her own life, before the Time War, there was no way he was here now. “I don’t know why I trusted you.“ She snapped at the Master next to her.

“Now that’s something you should never do.“ The Thirteen agreed, enjoying watching them bicker. They would be far easier to deal with if they weren’t working together.

“Just you wait till I get my hands on you.“ The Master snarled at the Thirteen. “Believe what you will, Doctor, but do you not think you might be getting a little distracted from why we’re really here?“ His dark eyes darted around the room. They weren’t alone anymore. Soldiers were lining at the edges of the room, slowly advancing towards them. It was a trap. “Even if that is a future version of me, which I can assure you, it’s not…“

“The very thought…“ The Thirteen chuckled.

“Do you not have something to ask of the nice man here?“ The Master urged and the Doctor overcame her disbelief at the situation she found herself in. The Master had a point. They were here for a very good reason. Regardless of whether this man was the Thirteen, the Master or Rassilon himself, her question remained the same.

“Where is my son?“ The Doctor fixed her eyes on the Thirteen, her voice turning low and threatening. Enough of the games.

“Oh, it’s like that, is it?“ The Thirteen feigned shock and grasped his chest. “Did you lose someone precious to you?“

“Whoever you are, you know something.“ The Doctor took a threatening step towards him.

“Well, he’s not here if that’s what you’re asking.“ The Thirteen gave a dismissive wave. “In fact, Doctor, I hadn’t really planned for this detour.“ He gestured around the room. “But it does get one thing out of the way…“

“What’s that?“ The Doctor shot back.

“You.“ the Thirteen grinned, and as if on cue the soldiers pointed their guns at her and the Master.

“Thanks for bringing her here, really, couldn’t have calculated it better myself.“ The Thirteen gave the Master a grin. “And just to be perfectly clear, Doctor, that we’re not the same person? I’ll have him killed, too.“ He glanced back to the Doctor who was looking around. The TARDIS was not far behind them. Was there time to turn and run? But if they ran, they wouldn’t find out what he knew.

“I will tear you limb from limb this time around.“ The Master’s eyes flashed dangerously as he recalled killing the Eleven. It was a bit of a blur, too many of his past selves had been present, but he recalled the deed well enough to be sure it happened. This time, he would make sure he couldn’t regenerate.

“What was it you said last time we met about compassion?“ The Thirteen looked to the Master. “I distinctly remember your lady version saying you weren’t without it… Well, I am. Which is why I will win and you will lose.“ He smirked.

“Still think that’s me?“ The Master looked to the Doctor who was at a loss for words.

“I…“

“Any clever ideas, Doctor?“ The Master stepped closer to the Doctor as the guards advanced further.

“The Doctor and the Master, sitting in a trap, K I L L I N G.“ The Thirteen sang. “No, doesn’t really work.“ He huffed. “Open fire on my mark.“ He called his men.

“OI!“ A female voice called out and suddenly an explosion rocked them, and the hangar filled with smoke.

——

Demon’s Run, Holding Cells, 52nd Century

“Here we go…“ River mumbled, connecting one last cable, as the force field turned off. “You'll be a good boy now, okay?“ She mumbled and pressed a kiss to her son’s head. This wasn’t exactly the right environment for a newborn but she didn’t have a choice.

There was an explosion somewhere, and alarms started wailing.

“Sounds like it’s the right time to get out of here.“ River soothed her son as he started crying because of the noise. She held him close as she walked down the corridor. She had to find a way off this space station. Her best bet would be the hangar bay.

“Professor Song!“ A voice called behind her suddenly and River whipped around as it was familiar and welcome.

“Madame Vastra!“ River exclaimed as she spotted the lizard woman who was just climbing out of a maintenance hatch.

“You’re… alive…“ Vastra marvelled at seeing her like this. Not just a consciousness trapped on a data stick but alive and whole and with her son in her arms. The relief and joy Vastra felt in that moment overshadowed all past anguish up until this point.

“Courtesy of my captors.“ River answered with a smirk as she stepped closer while Vastra helped another woman out of the tight hatch who River hadn’t met before. She could only presume she was a friend at the obvious relief on her face, too.

“Are you okay? Both of you?“ The girl asked, straightening herself up next to Vastra, and River nodded. Perhaps getting off this rock wouldn’t be so difficult after all, now that the cavalry had arrived.

“Professor, I’m so sorry, we tried…“ Vastra felt the overwhelming urge to make her apologies. She reached out and touched the little boy’s head, hoping to convey her deep regret for having failed to protect him.

“It’s okay, we’re okay, shall we chat later? And get out of here first?“ River gave her an encouraging smile. She didn’t blame her, how could she? Without knowing any details of what had happened, she knew that Vastra, Jenny and Strax would have done their utmost to keep her child safe. If they had failed to do so it could only have been through overwhelming odds. And now they had come to their rescue. They were the most loyal of friends. “I imagine we will have company soon. I may have tripped some alarms when I broke out of my cell.“ River pointed out the flashing lights and sirens while she tried to calm her son down.

“This way. We have a ship.“ Vastra nodded in agreement, and they rushed down the corridor. They had no time to lose.

“Now, now, Melody, can’t leave you alone for two minutes.“ They came to an abrupt halt as Madame Kovarian, backed by numerous soldiers, appeared at the top of the corridor they were heading towards.

“Yaz, take the long way around, take her to our ship!“ Vastra pulled her sword from its sheath and grabbed a blaster with the other. “Now!“

“But what about…“ Yaz started protesting.

“I will buy you some time, go!“ Vastra insisted, staring down the guards that were advancing towards them.

“Vastra!“ River grabbed her friend’s arm. They had to get out of here, they had to run, but they should be doing it together. She could risk her son getting injured. As much as River wanted to fight and finally, finally put an end to Madame Kovarian, her mother's instincts gripped her more tightly. She had to keep her son safe.

“It’s okay, you two go and don’t look back! I will find Jenny and Strax, we will make our own way. NOW GO!“ Vastra insisted with steely determination.

“I will find a way to come back for you!“ River promised hastily.

“GO!“ Vastra snapped and Yaz grabbed River’s arm. There was no arguing with Vastra.

“Thank you.“ River breathed and allowed herself to be pulled along.

——

London, 2021

“Dead end.“ Jack huffed, looking around. They found themselves in front of an empty plot with nothing but a post box in a dodgy area of town. They hadn’t all been able to go. Edinburgh to London was quite the track so they had decided to split up. Mickey, Martha and Gwen had returned to the Torchwood hub while Jack had taken Ryan and Graham for a ride with his vortex manipulator. Three was the limit, despite various modifications. “Thought it might happen. Nothing but a company shell…“ Jack carried on as they walked onto the abandoned plot. There was a bit of rubble and grass but nothing much. It was wedged between two warehouses.

“But then why have the card?“ Ryan mused, turning it in his hand.

“Why indeed.“ A voice sounded and suddenly the three men found themselves surrounded by four thugs that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.

“What the…“ Jack reached for his gun but before he could do so, they each had one pointed at their heads.

“See, we might not be able to make you disappear easily but that doesn’t mean we make you disappear another way. You can be useful after all. We need some new subjects.“ One of the men grinned, and the Torchwood agents realised they had fallen into a trap.

——

Demon’s Run, Main Hanger, 52nd Century

It was utter chaos but the Doctor quickly figured out what was happening when he heard a familiar voice yelling:

“DIE ALIEN SCUM!“

“Strax?!“ The Doctor yelled through the smoke, ducking a laser blast, one of the few things visible in the smoke.

“Not to worry, Doctor, we’re here!“ Jenny called back and they found each other quickly, following the other’s voice.

“How did you get here?“ The Doctor asked surprised and delighted at once.

“Could ask you the same thing!“ Jenny retorted looking around not to get caught out. For the time being, Strax appeared to be doing an excellent job of dealing with the soldiers.

“We thought this might be where they’ve taken my son.“ The Doctor answered quickly.

“Well, I don’t know about that, but it’s definitely where they took your wife.“ Jenny replied quickly and pulled the Doctor behind a crate. She fired at two soldiers that emerged from the smoke dangerously close to them.

“My wife? River is here?!“ The Doctor exclaimed in disbelief. She was in shock, her words barely registered. How could River possibly be here?

“Her consciousness anyway. Some Timelord who calls himself the Thirteen stole it from the Library. We followed him here.“ Jenny carried on to explain.

“So it is him…“ The Doctor mumbled, trying to get things straight in her head.

“Told you, didn’t I, he’s not me!“ The Master found them behind the crate and took cover as well.

“Then why have you got the same face?“ The Doctor shot back angrily.

“I don’t know, Doctor, do I, do you think I’m thrilled he’s running around giving me a bad name?“ The Master bit back just as angrily.

“You do that all by yourself, usually.“ She snapped back.

“And you are…“ Jenny was at a loss for a moment.

“The Master.“ The Doctor answered before he could.

“Right… well, this Thirteen fellow…“ Jenny decided not to comment for the time being. There had to be a good reason for why the Master was here, seemingly with the Doctor.

“Looks exactly like him, you can’t miss him. And we have to find him, I want some answers! And River…“ The Doctor looked out from behind the crate, most of the hangar was still shrouded in smoke.

“We will find her. Vastra and Yaz are looking for her as well. We will get both of them back.“ Jenny explained hastily.

“Touching reunion and all but perhaps we might deal with the more pressing issue at hand? The bomb will go off at any moment.“ The Master announced and instructed: “Everybody get down.“

“What?“ The Doctor looked back at him incredulous. She straightened up a little to glance over the top of the crate but the Master pulled her down.

“Duck!“ He snapped, just as an explosion shook the hangar deck. He had clearly been busy in the moments before rejoining them.

“What the…“ The Doctor shoved him off and stood quickly, assessing the damage. “Why did you do that?“ She shook her head in disbelief at the destruction in front of her. Half the hangar had blown up, emergency force fields had jumped into place where the hull had ripped away.

“How about a ‘thank you Master’?“ The Master scrambled to his feet and brushed off his suit. “I just laid waste to your enemies. It was fun too.“ He grinned.

“Excellent maneuverer, Sir.“ Strax came up behind them, and Jenny let out a sigh of relief upon seeing him. He could very well have been caught up in the Master’s explosion.

“I’m glad someone appreciates it.“ The Master huffed.

“It wasn’t necessary!“ The Doctor snapped, scanning the room. Most of the enemy soldiers were dead, some of the wounded tried to pull themselves up but they seemed to have lost the appetite for fighting. The Doctor quickly realised why: they were leaderless. “Where is he? Where is the Thirteen?“ She looked around, panicked. They couldn’t have lost him.

“Oh I hope I incinerated him… stealing my face, how dare he…“ The Master mumbled and the Doctor turned on her heels.

“I need him for answers!“ She snapped.

“Perhaps I can oblige.“ A voice called from the other end of the hangar and as they all looked around, they recognised Vastra and with her, being shoved along, Madame Kovarian.

“Vastra!“ Jenny called in relief and rushed over to her wife.

“Madame Kovarian…“ The Doctor’s response was more measured as she narrowed her eyes.

“Oh don’t tell me, a new face.“ Kovarian gave the Doctor a once-over and groaned in annoyance. It was bad enough to have her men bested by a lizard woman, this was adding insult to injury. The Doctor came to meet them halfway as Jenny flung herself around her wife’s neck.

“I should have known you were involved.“ The Doctor clenched her jaw, trying her best not to let her feelings overwhelm her. Instead, she decided to focus on the important questions: “Where is River? Where are you keeping her consciousness?“

“She escaped in our shuttle.“ Vastra cut in, letting go of Jenny at last.

“What?“ The Doctor looked at her confused.

“They’re gone, they got away. And it’s not just her consciousness either, they brought her body back, too.“ Vastra explained more patiently. She smiled contently, River would be safe now.

“Really?“ The Doctor didn’t know what to say. A wide grin spread across her face. She could hardly believe what she was hearing. She tried not to let herself get swept away in the excitement, keep a level head until she had actually seen River and made sure that she was okay. But she trusted Vastra and she would never doubt her. River was alive. The reality of it still had to sink in.

“Yaz took her back to our shuttle while I was dealing with them.“ Vastra continued. “And your son, too, Doctor.“ She added more softly.

“He’s here, too?“ Tears of joy jumped to the Doctor’s eyes.

“Oh Doctor, you just keep falling for the same trick, don’t you.“ Kovarian cut in, a cruel smile creeping onto her features.

——

Dorium’s Shuttle, 52nd Century

River collapsed against the bulkhead, cradling her son to her chest. Her hearts were racing in her chest, she tried to catch her breath. They had done it.

“Dorium…“ She gasped a greeting but managed a small smile, despite her exhaustion.

“Nice to see you in one piece, Professor, and in the flesh too, pardon the pun.“ Dorium mirrored her fond expression. He had been sat waiting, unable to do anything to help and it was a relief to see they were being successful.

“We can’t stay, Dorium, Vastra said to go, they will find their own way later.“ Yaz explained as she joined them on the bridge. “We need to get the Professor and her child to safety.“

“Certainly.“ Dorium agreed. “Where to, Professor?“

“Luna University, all my things are there.“ River answered after brief consideration and Yaz nodded, working the controls with Dorium’s help. As soon as the air corridor had detached from Demon’s Run and wheeled in, they set off with a jerk, putting distance between the space station and themselves.

“Are you okay?“ Yaz asked, looking at River who had settled in a chair with her child.

“Getting there…“ River sighed. “I’m sorry, I barely caught your name?“

“Yasmin Khan, friends call me Yaz.“ Yaz answered with a smile, watching her rock her son.

“You’re a friend of the Doctor’s?“ River deduced and she nodded.

“And you’re her wife. And mother to her child.“ Yaz smiled.

“Her?“ River raised her eyebrows, surprised. “My, things have changed… how long have I been in that Library for?“ She shook her head to herself.

“Miss Khan, if you could be so kind and jump us into hyper speed, there is only so much a head can do.“ Dorium said. “I will be very glad if I never have to see Demon’s Run ever again.“

“Likewise.“ River chuckled and Yaz turned back to the controls:

“My pleasure.“

It happened as the stars blurred outside and River screamed. The connection severed. Her son disappeared from her arms, dissolving into a white substance, dripping onto the floor. A flesh avatar.

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