#even my elem friend

[citrusitonit]

in my drem i had 2 talk thru a couplge onnwhy thgey cougnt spoil ther child so bad n talgk them throgu their issues likg i was goig (i was an owl thru thgis btw) "UR SCARED OF THE WORLD BEIGN HARSH ON THEM BUT ATLEAST IT WOULD BE DONE BY THE ONLY 2 PPL IN THE WORLD WHO DO IT OUT OF PURE LOVE N GOODNESS AND CARE RATHER THAN A BUNCH OF STRANGERS OUT ON THE" n thgen i lookg to see the dad repaced thge child 2 hide em awy n i told higm stop cuh i alr saw him thgen i went back 2 the mom havign a breakdwon awhile ago n shes gone

[foxcassius]

i am feeling conflicted these days, for no actual reason really because it doesnt matter now, but i keep being unsure how many children i want to have. i was someone raised with siblings. however, i do not think about them ever, and in fact dont think about my childhood in general a lot, and idk if everyone does that, but at this point i essentially live my life as though i have no siblings because i'm so far away and none of us care for each other that much. however, when i think of jiwon, an only child, it's like i cant fathom what it was like for him to grow uo without siblings, though i do think this is made harder for me because he's not close with his parents so i just keep having to think what did he even DO when he was at home but i think the answer is legitimately "study all the time" and then he moved into his high school dorm so he could be with his friends. but when i think about having kids, the thought of having more than once child overwhelms me so much. because i really do want to try to be as routined and attentive as possible whenever my children are in the 0-12 months range both to make mine and jiwon's lives easier (its not fun when your baby wont sleep at night) and to set them up developmentally for success the best i can. and trying to do that with a toddler in the house as well sounds very difficult, but i also dont want to send my kids to all-day daycare at the age of 2, and i dont want to space out births too far because that delays when i can get back to working. so i think having one child is the best option for my own priorities and such with child rearing, but i always get nervous about raising a lonely child. but then i remember that im not my parents (who basically ignored us and left my siblings and i in a tiny 4-person society 85% of the time) and i would rather die straight up than be to my kids what jiwon's parents are to him. and basically. i think it's possible to raise an only child who is without only child stereotypical tendencies. and also who is not lonely.

[lightlessentwine]

Shadow of The Erdtree is a Mess that needs a LOT of explaining

The timeline/sequence is weird, but it seems that for Miquella's plan to have worked, he needed help. that seems clear enough, but nothing else really is:

1. Killing Mohg seems to act as a catalyst/sealbreaker and yet Leda also claims that her "friends" are already in the Land of Shadow. Did they just.. go in behind Mohg's back or something? how? when?? did they enter while you just sat at the grace?..

2. Some of the charmed, like Leda and Freyja, ultimately fight for Miquella no matter what. in Freyja's case, was the charm just to keep her from straying from her path at first? she harbors doubts almost immediately and is convinced to stay the path by Ansbach who unchangeably ends up fighting against her after translating the information she required to push onward

3. the way Miquella sets up Mohg gets very confusing. not only does Mohg's death get left to complete uncertainty. Malenia knew the plan and so did radahn, and both may have known as well that mohg was possessed by a charm.. in fact, What truly was the purpose of leaving radahn to miserably rot and feast on his comrades for such a long time? why would he have ever agreed to any of this??

4. Everyone seems to be charmed in different degrees. you have Leda and Freyja who speak almost like they know they're charmed and are fully aware of everything. meanwhile, others like Ansbach and Thiollier who've forgotten aspects and memories of who they are. both characters go so far as to say they're past prime or just straight up useless, only to join you in what are your objectively toughest battles.

in fact, why would Miquella coerce his enemies to his side-- a Trina fanatic and Mohg's right hand-- that KNEW about his plans and methods? if he needed them for something, why not keep the charm on until the very last moment? was there a reason it broke when it did?

5. there is literally no sign of Eochaid-- nothing even about the Marais lineage or Elemer, and nothing of an age of copper is found within the shadows. My theory of red magic was at least confirmed by the expansion's shift of focus onto arts and performances with a lot of dancing/spectacle/martial art, but none of it was tied back to the red magic of Eochaid or any semblance of an age of copper. you could count the fact that some of the NPCs are Irish as I suspected, i suppose.. although it would seem to clash with the fact that a lot of the art depicted is inspired by the aesthetics of ancient China and India; it actually lines up pretty well with what i expected on that front

[tiny-chubby-bird]

ffxv in bg3

so i kind of fell back into ffxv and ever since playing bg3 i can never look at the word and name ignis the same. but so i got into thinking, what class would ignis be if he were in bg3? who would he potentially romance? i myself decided on making a knowledge domain, ilmater deity cleric ignis, but i was also considering making him a rogue or wizard. maybe i'll multiclass him in the future. he uses daggers, a lance/spear and elemancy in fights, so he needs spells and be able to use daggers and spears. also, since he's the mom of the group he's the one healing everyone during fights, so cleric felt the most fitting out of everything, though i was unsure about which deity he would maybe worship since i don't rlly see him as a religious person. i chose ilmater mainly because of the whole "taking on the pain/suffering of others," y'know, the whole scene where ignis is ready to sacrifice himself for noctis and losing his eyesight. nothing else rlly sounded fitting. i wasn't sure about the domain either but ended up going for the knowledge domain since it felt the most fitting and gives him some extra proficiency points (i think). as a romance option i could maybe see ignis and gale, the cooks of the group, intelligent and well-read, talented in what they do, idk. i also made ignis a half-high elf, that felt very fitting for him and also the face option was the closest to what ignis looks like in-game. i also chose the noble background for him since he was raised alongside noctis to be his adviser, so i felt noble was as close as it gets.

anyway, the whole thing got me into thinking how fun it would be to play with friends and you all just make one of the ffxv boys and then just have the whole gang together. gladio would be the fighter class, maybe paladin but i feel like fighter is the most fitting. idk which race, i could almost see him as a tiefling maybe, otherwise human or maybe even half-orc. prompto could go half-elf as well, maybe half-drow for some angst and fantasy racism. also ranger class seems fitting for prompto, mostly using ranged weapons (bow, crossbow, etc.), maybe beastmaster subclass? but gloomstalker could be badass for him too. noctis is the hardest for me to decide, but i could also see him as half-high elf. since he isn't physically strong like gladio, idk how i feel about using the fighter class for him. sorcerer feels a little fitting so he would have a natural talent for using magic, maybe storm sorcery or draconic bloodline, but since noct mainly fights with weapons in ffxv it would have to be a multiclass with something more physical as well, though the strength stats would make that kinda problematic.

as for romance for the other boys, i could see prompto and karlach making a really cute couple. also prompto and astarion for angst and healing. shadowheart and noctis i can mainly see as friends, idk i have a hard time seeing noctis romancing anyone from the group but him and shadowheart for the moody goth/emo vibes lmao. gladio and lae'zel i really like, both passionate, strong and skilled fighters. and like i said, gale and ignis. wyll and noct would probably have a lot of topics to bond over too.

anyway here's my bg3 ignis.

[fakevariety]

random appreciation posttt

ok so this kind is not relevant to anything currently i was just thinking about this butttt anyways there is this family my family is pretty close to and i’ve known them since i was in kindergarten and genuinely they are so amazing i have been friends with the son since kindergarten but have only been friends with the daughter for the past few years

and this family has always been there for me like one time my brother was at this sleepover camp and he got kicked out because he kept losing control and hurting people so my parents had to drive up there in the middle of the night to get him and it was such an awful experience and my parents had to find somewhere for me to go for the night so i ended up staying over with this family for the night and i went over just super upset about the whole thing and they were so nice and just made the whole evening actually really fun and i know it sounds like a small thing but my brother has been getting kicked out of camps his whole life and i finally thought it was getting better and then that happened and it genuinely meant the world to me that that family made my night so much better

and i love the kids in that family so much the son is my age and again i’ve been friends with him since i was very little and he has adhd and for a long time has been one of the ‘weird kids’ in my grade and i didn’t always treat him the best in elem school which i really regret because he has been bullied so much and i did not help but i recognize how great he is now and while he can be a bit annoying i am never letting someone talk shit about him again because he is such a great person and he’s so nice to hang out with and we don’t really talk a bunch rn but we still chat and i still really love him and trust him and he’s just amazing and i know i can always count on him

and his sister i didn’t really get close with until a few years ago when i started going to this writing camp with her since we both love writing we had always been friendly with each other and i’ve always liked her but camp made us get really close we spent all our time together and she’s so so so nice and i really trust her i’ve told her things i don’t tell most people besides my best friend and my other close friends and she knows things i haven’t told anyone else and she’s cishet but she’s genuinely an amazing ally and she listens to me talk about my obsessions and even gets into them and im really excited to go to camp with her this summer and i really love her and feel close to her and last summer during camp we ended up sharing a dorm which was SO FUN and each night we stayed up until eleven, we would just sit silently in a room together and work on our own wips and we’d help each other and i’m so excited for this summer and yeah

idk was randomly thinking abt that lmao

[minmin-pal]

you don't have to send a reply or even an answer really, i know it's close to the time so please feel free to ignore this and give yourself some time or just do something else you'd like other than answering a tumblr ask lmao/lh/gen

welcome back to custard/mikey/mustard/🍮 speedrunning asks in 2 hours go!

'Trying to become happy by doing assassinations' caught me off guard but yay I've already properly fixed and added the stuff you said to my watch guide, i appreciate the 'using the wrong pronouns for extra concealing' lol, ty jjba veteran for ur wisdom :pray: /gen

i've gotten so used to expecting them to come back too lol, but yes alright, thank you for the advice :D maybe i can somehow make it thru jjba with even a quarter of my feelings intact? (I'm not confident in that either ::/j/lh)

and woah I'm glad you were able to enjoy naruto! and yeah truee the possessed fox mode(?) thing always looked so cool and reminding is understandable lol, and now that you mention it he really would've been that one friend everyone would have in elem lmao. his cheery, rebellious to teachers and pulls pranks, he definitely would've been a popular kid or something during elem (is elem the same as primary school? ;;)

ngl i'd maybe say the reason gaara was more appealing than sasuke is maybe he was actually a nice character?/lh also younger gaara was very adorable to watch but yeah sasuke was just being a tad bit of an asshat lol

and ohh, people's opinions on tsunade is often positive leaning but it's neat to hear your thoughts on jiraiya and orochimaru are often like switched, if that makes sense? it's fun to see other opinions finally exist lmao, jiraiya was weird as heck but he had that character appeal going on somehow lol/pos

the 'hercules-corona borealis great wall' new term i never knew existed, ty for this brain food :pray:

and ah, somehow that single image you inserted of the dude drawn in the first style explains it (art looks nice though, muscles so cool omg/lh/pos)

I'm getting the same feeling that aot will end in the same-ish manner that killer in love did, just completely turn everything on the viewers heads and make us all feel emotionally exposed or smth lol, i'm gonna have to put on some protective gear before restarting the anime ;;

oh wait there's a csm part 2? I haven't heard much about it though it makes sense if his still working on it, and yep csm has already been added to my to-read list and csm2 is joining >:)

oyasumi punpun sounds very cute, i will be checking that out now, i need to feel feelings again after speedrunning killer in love lol/hj/lh

"boy's abyss" added to the collection (i will actually finish this list I swear lmao/gen) help naur "you didn't dislike kokoa, and that's really telling of you as a person" had me worried if it was bad for a few seconds TT/lh

and yeah I'm really glad they made her kinda of a victim too, really pulled the story together especially in the 'backstory leading to her walking off into the distance' ending (and yeah don't worry about any of it being too short or anything, it's understandable so pls don't strain urself :D/lh)

oh yeah, seeing a character make the same decisions or do the same thing as you and it's being shown/viewed(?) as a bad thing, is definitely an eye-opener moment

i don't know all the details and this might seem unwarranted but you were both human and I'm sorry they left you so suddenly (i'm not trying to come as all like- dunno pompous or anything i swear ;;) not trying to argue since it might've been the healthy decision for them and i can respect that, i'm sorry you had to be left alone so suddenly though/gen (i hope this didn't come off badly ;;/lh)

we're speedruninngg :run:

and yay, yeah i really did it like it, thank you again for getting me to read it/gen the wholw story and it's art in general was very lovely:]<3

(mustard is my new, nEW name that will appear on my birth certificate lmao, also how did i not think of that sooner it was literally staring me in the face lol)

i'm answering the first of the 'thank you and nice to meet you' post thing and i reached where you said you were physically running out of time and i am also running out of time physically, the irony is making me cackle lol/hj/lh

it makes me a bit sad too, but i'm really glad i did meet you (as much as meeting you counts to stumbling across your blog?) i might not have said this enough times, but reading you rant off on random tangents and just talking about silly random stuff that you liked and things that mattered to you was genuinely a very fun experience that i won't be forgetting./gen

mayb the afterlife or void or whatever turns out to be meeting you there, does have wifi, i mean you can never be too sure right lmao? I can imagine it might just be 2 bars or something tho lol/lh

bye bye to you too min, and yeah no worries, the end poem has a special place for me so i don't consider it corny at all that you brought up, not gonna lie the first time i read your response seeing the response just made me bawl harder lol,

you like showing me stuff and i like watching you show me stuff, it's very fun would reccomended:D/lh reccomended:D/lh

don't be sorry, you don't need to be/lh/gen

thank you for that, (am i allowed to save it?/genq/nf) making you tear up was the goal muahaha >:)/hj/lh

even if it's not new, i stand by "all min art is good art", thank you. genuinely for everything min. this has been a very nice few 47(?) days of knowing you and i'll always check back on here, i know you said promises don't count to dead people, but welp unfortunately one of us will still be alive and chilling so that promise is gonna get fulfilled >:) my evil masterplan all along, it's gonna take you so long to scroll down thru my jjba review part 1 ask with the shitty wifi in the afterlife/again, whichever ends up waiting

i'll take care of little dustball min >:) could go to a cat cafe, i heard you liked cats./lh

It nice meeting you min, thank you for everything genuinely, it's been nice.

love you stranger :D

gonna go offline permanently in 5 mins (plus i will be deleting a lot of posts- just cus i dont want to be known for some of these) so i cant go too indepth

im really happy we spoke. i sometimes would worry that people who found me off my more. sad stuff would never know me much and im happy u let me . not be so depressing and let me rant about fuckin g jojos bizarre adventure to you

thanks mustard custard mikey and see u in the next ecosystem

[alma-amentet]

I’ve been tagged by @katastronoot @sheirukitriesfandom and @dirty-bosmer (thank you all! 💖) 

This was sitting in my drafts for a while, just forgot to post...

Not tagging anyone ‘cause idk who hasn’t done it yes... Feel free to take if you feel like!

1. are you named after anyone?

Grandma originally named me after her little sister who died in early childhood. She was babysitting and blamed herself for that accident.

But that was too dull, widespread, and didn’t felt mine, so my nomatophobia started progressing. Finally I renamed myself after Fairytopia Barbie. Best friend started calling me Elina in 2008, when I was pretty much into Barbie movies fandom. It stuck, I started telling everyone it was my actual name, even at work. Then finally changed it legally and never regretted. 

Barbie movies is everything, yeah.

2. when was the last time you cried?

One weekend ago.

3. do you have kids?

Nope, and it’s most probable I won’t. Already in my 30s, didn’t start wanting/regretting yet. I like kids, kids are like flowers, but let them bloom in someone else’s garden. 

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

Not really. Being neurodivergent, I have troubles with a sense of humour in general. Many things feel more offensive than funny to me, and if I try it myself, it might be rather insulting than funny... So only with closer friends, I guess.

5. what sports do you play/have you played?

Drinking games, lol.

Not a fan of sports and competitions. I prefer fitness\wellness, where you don’t have to compete or show off. Never liked team games as well. As a kid, I enjoyed tennis or badminton a bit, but again, just for fun.

I do yoga a bit, would like to excercise more though.

6. what's the first thing you notice about other people?

Style, clothing, hair, accessories. Whether they have some fandom\music\etc merch on. This way I might identify them as the ones like me, the ones worth talking to - at first sight.

I can be generally cautious, even hostile, about people, esp males and elders. And in general, I prefer meeting people online or in some safe spaces / meetups where everyone shares some interests/hobbies/fandoms. It’s easier for me.  

7. eye color?

blue gray. and I do wear color lenses - need them to see things anyway, so why not have fun with colors? Last year I had red ones and wore them casually.

8. scary movies or happy endings?

Happy and clever endings that give you food for thought and make you feel feelings - I’ve been a long time Pixar fan, you know.

There was time I’ve been into mystic horrors, some years ago, but now I’m old and tired even for them. LIfe is a dystopia by itself, I need more kind stuff.

(don’t watch movies much these days, I prefer games).

9. any special talents?

Some say I am outstanding and bold,and that I have great creative potential, and that I inspire some people just by being myself... IDK.

10. where were you born?

a city in the mountains

11. what are your hobbies?

I’m a a self-taught seamstress, I’ve been sewing most of my life (because I always loved creating things myself & from my very childhood wanted some unusual clothes that couldn’t be purchased in regular stores). At times, I took comissions, then were 5 years of cosplaying.

I’m into corsetry (waist-training and making corsets myself).

And drawing, of course.

12. do you have any pets?

Nope. Used to have an aquarium in the past.

13. how tall are you?

5’7″ (170 cm) 

14. fave subject in school?

Biology (just in elem and mid, then it became too complex), english. 

I was also one of the best in literature, but I didn’t like it at all. Just figured out how to get exc grades and did it for the sake of being praised. 

15. dream job?

Illustrator, artist.  

[ask-the-cosmic-duo]

What... is your name? What... is your quest? What... is your favorite color?

Stella was up a bit later than usual. She just had a bit of an argument with a friend. An argument she lost. No hard feelings at least, but still, she felt a little stupid...

... But then, her PDA started blowing up with notifications. Over twenty of them, in fact.

"Huh?" She pulled it out her mane (hammerspace, basically) and had a look. "Woah... That's a lotta likes! Where's this coming from?" She briefly stared at the screen. Well, she wasn't gonna complain.

Then, a question appeared among those likes, and that intrigued her. Not only a shower of love, but some genuine interest! But it was a little odd... Really, who was this? She decided to have a quick look at the blog.

"Hm... Newest post is about a weird sword..." It looked like some old sword model from a game she used to play, though. Eh, probably unrelated. Not like she can even remember what game she recognized it from, much less what the model was for or called. Oddly, Roblox came to mind first.

She went back to the question she received from them. "My name, quest, and favorite color... Hm... Wait, maybe I should get Sol here. I think he said he was gonna be training late today." She gave him a call, and a couple minutes later, the Prince arrived.

"So, new question?" Sol asked.

"Yep. Looks cool, too."

"Interesting." He had a look for himself, and nodded. "Very well. You first? This blog was your idea, after all."

"Okay." Stella cleared her throat, starting a recording. "My name is Stellar Spirit. I guess I'll save the interesting stuff for last... Favorite color is blue, like my eyes and parts of my mane. And my quest..." She paused. "I dunno. I never really thought about it. I like to explore, make friends, and help anypony I can. I wanna protect those I care about." She then smiled. "And, of course, I wanna have fun doing it!"

With a giggle, she looked over to the side, likely at some photo or other screen. "I've posted sneak peeks at some of the stuff I've been doing, like Project Cyber." She looked back to the camera. "Still ongoing, by the way, just never had the time to post about it again. Besides, I'm using an existing design for the car itself, so there's not much I can really talk about. I can definitely say it's going really well, though."

With a nod, she continued, "I really just want to see how far I can go, whether in my ability to help, my physical and magical capabilities, or the things I can build. I guess that's my quest."

The stallion beside her nodded. "Well said." The camera adjusts to look at him, as he was standing. "I am Solar Ray, Prince of Elysium. I can't choose a favorite colors, because they're all beautiful."

"It's really because of your mom's mane isn't it?" Stella teased with a small smirk.

"Shush," Sol said, lightly bapping her. "And my quest is simply to support this stubborn mare and keep her from getting in trouble."

"H-hey!" Stella whined.

"You know it's true," Sol told her, chuckling. "We agreed on it."

"Yeah, but you didn't need to tell everypony on Tumblr!"

"You don't exactly hide very much of yourself in the first place." He shook his head, taking the young mare's lack of response as a prompt to continue. "Anyways, while I am a Prince, I don't have many duties yet. That's not for another couple hundred years. Yes, I'll live that long, Primordial Elysians are immortal."

"And there's like, only five of you."

Sol nodded again. "Correct. Myself, my parents, who are the King and Queen, and the first commoners, Yin and Yang."

"And yet none of you are alicorns."

He rose an eyebrow. "Yes, you know that."

"Tumblr doesn't."

"Hm. Fair point. In that case..." He cleared his throat. "Elysians are exclusively unicorns, and we have the ability to control an element in nature, such as fire or water. Some of us have more complex elements, like that of an emotion, a material, or simply rarer natural elements." He lit his horn, and it produced a golden flame. "My element is the sun, and the power it holds. I'm the only one attuned to the sun, as it turns out. Trust me, we would've known if there was another."

"In this universe, at least," Stella clarified.

"Yes... The multiverse is vast. Other versions of me exist, as do of you, and of many other ponies." Sol shook his head. "But I'm getting sidetracked, and I've answered the question. If you have more questions for or about either of us, feel free to ask them."

[inimitablereel]

2022 Fic Fanwork Recs

Saw someone doing end of year fic recs and I decided I wanted to talk about fics. And then I started going through my ao3 bookmarks and realized I had a lot of vids I really loved in there. So under the cut (because even limiting to not too many per fandom and only things published this year this got long) are some things I've liked this year!

DMBJ

So Beat the Drum Slowly by Thimblerig gen: Wu Xie goes to A Ning's funeral I am the center of the target audience for this fic. I love A Ning and this gave me some actual closure over her death.

Wish Your Bed was Already Made by ilgaksu Wu Xie+Heihua I love ilgaksu's version of heihua always. Would recommend this fic for fans of all the times in Ultimate Note where Wu Xie is forced to third wheel them and for everyone who assumed Hei Xiazi put a tracker on Xiao Hua in the heihua movie.

Practical Applications of a Formal Education by Pandelion gen: 5+1 snippets of tomb adventures This is about the most important character in dmbj (Wu Xie's architecture degree). Fun tomb moments and character dynamics for everyone.

Pépito is Out by ladysisyphus iron triangle ot3: snippets of post-reboot hanging out I love the iron triangle and I love most of the ot3 hanging out being retired fics. This one also has a lot of cute visiting reboot characters and a very cryptid Xiaoge.

With Water and a Star by afrikate Hei Xiazi/Xiao Hua/Huo Xiuxiu (mind the metadata: this is the only tomb show fic I've linked that's rated m and not super short) The rare tomb show fic that's mostly about the politics of running mob families (tbh it's rare in canon too except for sand sea so maybe there's a lot of this in fics I haven't read for spoilers reasons): Huo Xiuxiu takes over the Huo family! Love to see her getting to actually be badass. I was skeptical of the ship going in, but this is a getting together fic for all the sides except heihua and it really sold me on the various dynamics.

vid: spike the punch by stellarer Ultimate Note. heihua vid!! this vid really gives you the sense that these weirdos like each other so much and is just really joyful to watch

vid: you're a 10 I'm a four leaf clover by absternr also UN, also a heihua vid!!! they're so weird and they flirt so weirdly <3 and this vid does a great job conveying that

vid: Still Not Dead by teyla multi-tomb show. Honestly if you're in the dmbj fandom and you haven't gone and watched all of teyla's multi vids, congrats, you're gonna have a good day today, go watch all their vids they're all great. This one is a bop but also a good thing to watch if you want to think really hard about Wu Xie as a character.

vid: I'm not your friend by absternr UN. My reclist so I'm gonna rec a little Ultimate Note A Ning vid where she gets to be hot and badass and not dead.

The Untamed/MDZS I've been in this fandom for over 2 years now, so my untamed fic recs are all things that are a little different from a lot of the stuff I've already read. If you're just kind of looking for a wangxian fic there's a lot of new good ones that I am not mentioning here.

the fair and the good and the brave must die by Lise wangxian... kind of. canon-era, during the 13 years Lan Wangji finds Wei Wuxian's angry resentful ghost and has to deal with that. This fic is upsetting and I love that.

grandmaster ranked in demonic cultivation by tshirt Jin Ling centric (Jin Ling & Jiang Cheng among others): modern ...league of legends au? as in they play league I know nothing abut league but this fic author clearly does and I love to read a niche au. Funny and also really really good characterization for both Jin Ling and Jiang Cheng.

年年有虞 | Sweet, but not too sweet by frostferox Jiang Cheng centric: modern au - elementary school Jiang Cheng has a bake sale Okay so you can tell who my favorite untamed boy is from this list :p but this is a really interesting take on what all the Jiang family relationships look like without the big stressors of canon. Also a fic about being first gen kid in a US elementary school.

vid: Fixer Upper by absternr Burial mounds vid! Lots of Wens (+ Wei Wuxian) feels about trying to build a home when everyone wants to kill you. This made me cry.

Nirvana in Fire

The Young Marshall's Ghost by ConvenientAlias gen: Mei Changsu solves a mystery After reading this I went back and read the rest of the series it's in, but given that I read it in this order, it obviously works as a standalone. Fun if you like to watch Mei Changsu be smart but framed more in a mystery way than a political drama way.

boiling point by caulkhead Lin Chen & Mei Changsu This should really have the exhausted character finally gets a nap tag. Lots of cleverness and friendship feels.

All the Distant Stars by BromeliadDreams Mei Changsu/Xiao Jingyan: scifi au This is one of the only setting aus that I've really liked in this fandom, but it's doing really cool things with how you come back different in a scifi setting. More running around having adventures and feelings vibes than political intrigue.

"The wise person avoids parties as far as possible" by Nemainofthewater Jingrui goes to a party (no not that one) choose your own adventure fic This is such a cool fic format and there are so many different possible endings

vid: Mei Changsu is climbing the mountain by sandalwoodbox general nif plot focus This is a remix of another vid (that is also excellent and you should watch) and it's a really cool tonal shift between the two vids. It's somewhere between saying something very serious about canon and doing something very silly.

vid: ...Baby One More Time by absternr Jingyan/Mei Changsu(or should I say Lin Shu?) Okay so I'm choosing the silly nif vids I guess but the thing about this vid is you go in being like haha a Brittney Spears song haha there were so many signs and you come out being like oh no Jingyan's lonliness is killing him I am so sad now every time. Which is the ideal nif vid experience imo, can't spell knife without nif, go have some feelings.

Misc Vids

Don't Worry Be Randall by lizardjay For Infinity Train but I'd rec it even if you haven't seen the show - it's just a charming animation of don't worry be happy

She Works Hard for the Money by teyla For Kinnporsche but you do not have to have seen the show. This is so funny, especially if you've ever seen any show that went hard on product placement. NSFW: don't watch it in public

So far by dirty_diana - fandom: Wheel of Time I saw this before I'd seen the show and then again after it - either way it's very atmospheric but having seen the show I also had a lot of feelings about friendships and the heroes journey and how you can't go home again.

And some ones where you do probably want to know the fandom

Satisfied by CherryIce - fandom: The Good Place Tahani character study! Lots of feelings about Tahani as a character and found family and bio family.

Bad Vibes by jonesandashes, pollyrepeat - fandom: Bridgerton (s2) Kate/Anthony I will admit I haven't seen any of Bridgerton s2 and am saying you should know the fandom on the strength of having read the books. But the real draw of this vid is it really gets that Anthony is a terrible awful garbage man but I love him and so does Kate unfortunately. Just a really fun time and a very iddy look at this generally very iddy ship.

[zjpg]

idk if this is trauma-dumping. it might be so this is your warning ig lol. (mentions of weight (a lot), death, being left out, mean friends? idk it’s a lot i’m just ranting.)

EDIT. THIS IS ACTUALLY A LOT OF TRAUMA DUMPING AND TURNED OUT TO BE LONGER THAN EXPECTED I NEEDED TO LET SOME SHIT OUT.

idk why but i kinda realized that my personality is solely based off of my friends. like. idk. and i don’t necessarily enjoy my personality. i feel like i’m mean, annoying etc. and i think i realized this when i stayed away from my friends for a while. i went and loved with my grandparents for a while and i have like a completely different personality.

i just try to match my friend’s personality, or maybe it whoever i’m talking to or hanging out with. cause i’m hanging out with different friends today and tm and i feel different.

i love my friends. but sometimes i just want to be treated and perceived differently. idk i think it’s why i’ve been trying to shift and why i write fanfic. i kinda always dreamed of this main character persona ig. because idk if anyone knows this but i am overweight. i think on the bmi scale i’m borderline obese (which tbf the bmi scale is a piece of shit tbh - coming from someone who to a medical class for the last two years)

but yeah i’ve never been the skinny pretty friend. if you’ve ever heard the song “fat funny friend” that was basically me throughout my school years tbh. and in elem and middle school i had some friends that definitely gave me trauma because of how they treated me.

now my current friends are just kinda mean, maybe it’s more of one specific friend who i’ve had trouble with in the past. idk around her i can never just feel good about myself. and it’s clear that since i’ve last seen her, her values have changed. and idk it’s kinda hard to come to terms with that because we’ve been best friends for so long. i spent the entire pandemic with her (we literally lived together tbh. like if she wasn’t at my house i was at her and we couldn’t survive 24 hours without each other)

again it’s just sad to feel like i’m less than. esp having like, she struggles with her body image too. which i feel like most people do and that’s okay, and she is skinnier and i feel like if most people would see her they would compliment her for her body. nonetheless it’s very normal and acceptable for her to dislike her body. sadly it’s normal at least (because of unrealistic beauty standards) however. whenever she’s around me and our other friend (who’s smaller than me but still considered plus-mid-size? which we have talked about together many times because can understand each others struggles) anyway the first friend will always make comments like “i feel/look morbidly obese” “i look fat” etc. and again it’s valid to feel that way but at the same time when i (again borderline obese) look at myself and then her and she says that. i literally wanna crawl in a whole and never show myself to the human eye again

idk if that makes me sound like a bitch or selfish. but she knows i’m bigger, we’ve talked about it before. and when our other who (who has been working out and trying to better herself and her health) sent results of her past few months of working out, proud of herself. friend 1 came in sending a body pic of herself in workout clothes says she looks fat and i got so she has to go work out (or something like that) and that’s upsetting to us but especially friend 2 because she is just trying to be happy about her body but then friend 1 comes in and says that her body isn’t enough and she has to work out even tho her body compared to mine and friend 2 is amazing

and i don’t wanna sound like she can’t have insecurities or she can’t talk to us about her insecurities. she can. we always do (friend 2 and i) but i hate the way she (friend 1) talks about weight. and like. another thing. whenever someone annoys her or makes her mad she calls them fat. usually along the lines of “fat bitch” “fat ugly bitch” and she makes fun of their bodies. even if they have the most perfect body. and ofc with years of friendship, we’ve had times where we didn’t get along and when we were pissed at each other. so it makes me wonder what she has said about my body behind my back.

there was a time kinda recently where i got drunk and friend 2’s party and because of some event with friend 1 that happened in the earlier evening. i said some shit. i was black out drunk tbh, i don’t remember anything. but i remember some stuff. and i feel horrible for saying it. but when friend 1 and i talked about she was like. kinda being mean. which i completely understand. but she wasn’t letting me get my point across. she wasn’t hearing what i had to say. and she wasn’t validating any of my feelings that i clearly have been having for a long time (i never act like that when i’m drunk) and maybe i sound really bad here because i obviously did make a huge mistake that like still keeps me up at night even now (it’s literally 2 am). and i say there and i listened to what she said and i validated every fucking feeling she had just like i always do. but she didn’t care to listen to how i felt that night.

there’s so many instances that has happened to this one friend where she just talks and makes up excuses and demands that you validate how she feels without doing the same back. (because she’s not an angel either) there was a time where we were a group of 4 before we had a falling out with friend 3. and friend 1sts a whole group chat named “besties without lucie(me)” when all 4 of us had a gc called “besties”. and i didn’t know for months until friend 2 called me and told me everything. how they made plans without me had the gc without me. and anytime friend 2 would bring up my name friend 1 would make excuses as to why i “couldn’t come along”. i couldn’t be in their secret gc because i was “too sensitive” and her reasoning for not coming to outings was usually because i “said i was busy” (i was never asked if i wanted to hangout. i found out through snap and life 360 that they were out without me). she even used my aunts passing as an excuse as to why i couldn’t go. even tho when her grandma passed she came over to my house unannounced and me and my mom had to take care of her for days because she was so depressed.

i cried myself to sleep during those times. and because it was around christmas my mom let and my brother open gifts early in order to cheer me up and she would go out and hang out without me. and now i have such bad trust issues with not only that friend group but everyone around me. i hate being left out. i’ve always been left out like my whole life.

idk i just. i want nice people around me. i want people who validate me and my feelings and i want to be included for once in my life.

[yoiku]

More Palia thoughts

Well, i'm a collective level of 73 now and did join a small community. Here's some more of my thoughts so far. This is going to be pretty long, so putting it behind a cut!

addressing the multiplayer bits first... Still not finding the mmo bits of the game very meaningful as someone who is just trying to chat up strangers and has no existing friends to play with. It's cool that flow trees need more than one person to cut down, but the fact that having the final tier axe lets you chop the smaller ones by yourself kinda negates a good chunk of that. Nice that you can get some by yourself i suppose, but i'm finding more and more people going solo not even bothering to ask in server chat if others would like to reap the rewards as well. Palium ore should have the same trait in my opinion, if they want to go down the road of -you need someone to help you with this so group up!- Cooking with more people would be faster and probably fun, but so far no-one i've asked in chat has wanted to try it together. And if i'm low on food buffs and need to make more, it's still faster to cook by myself than start asking around for someone to cook with. I dunno if i'd need to join some bigger community. But also feels like people in general just rather play solo. and I get that. The most fun I've had with others has been chasing the magic sernuk and magic chapaa. they're also fun to hunt alone, but running across half the map with some others just to catch a blinking magic deer has that nice feeling of playing together. Its also nice when you're mining and you come across randoms who you briefly mine together with. has that sharing is caring kinda feel to it.

Overall the community aspects are very barebones. I know it's a beta but if the game is tooting it's horn as an mmo, they should really prioritize improving those parts of it. no close proximity chat also makes people talk less when they meet in the wild. it feels pretty awkward to talk to one or two specific people near you and the conversation will always be visible to the entire map. You could party up or use whisper but generally peeps dont seem to be interested in that. And the fact that the social tab is bugging out most of the time, not showing any community members online even if there are a bunch. Most of the time adding a friend by the search function doesnt work. Joining another player's server has sent me to a void a few times. And the community chat tab is all kinds of weird and the chat clears itself every time you swap zones, even though community chat is not tied to any zone. The item requesting is a nice feature but should be expanded upon. let community members gift items between them more. or let me send mail to people on my friends list with some item attachments.

I like the general mood in the game though. it feels relaxed and a nice thing to hop into to do some fun tasks and decorating. Overall gives me a wholesome feeling. I like that.

The single player aspects of the game are really promising so far though! The story has piqued my interest a little as i've talked to the npc's more and they've started to talk to me about the history and the world in general. Like i'm already really interested in some areas they're mentioning and some people they talk about. The characters that are in so far are really well fleshed out and majority of them are interesting. The design and voiceacting is also great. I got a really nice feeling when i noticed that the npc's are talking to me more and more casually and friendly as i've gained frienship levels with them. even the voiceacting bits change.

The professions are fun. Fishing and hunting are my personal favorites, although I really wish we had more creatures to hunt. Leveling in general is rewarding and fun. I love to get mail from NPCs. I also love our mysterious blueberry loving friend, hope to hear from them again. Finishing the big bundle was just the right amount of challenging. Can't wait for the next elemental bundles to be added and seeing where that takes the story. Finding the treasure chests in the wild is always fun in any game. Bonus points for the devs for respecting the classics with that treasure behind the waterfall. We all know it's likely there but it still sparks joy when it IS there. lol. And gliding is naturally fun as well. Getting blasted into the air from a geysir and seeing how far can you glide. CAN i get to that bit there? I'm going to try. Several times. Seeing glimpses of the old ruins from some spots really makes me wanna go there. Let me in!!! +_+

This game has scratched my stardew valley -itch somewhat, which is no small feat. It has plenty of flaws and bugs and it does need a lot more content and features. But it is a very solid base to build upon. The beta is now open for everyone to join, so the devs are going to have their hands full with dealing with the influx of users for a while. They've patched in stuff pretty quickly so far! No release date has been announced yet, which i find a good thing. While it does have a good amount of content already, I do feel like it needs more to be a fully launched game and i'd rather them take the time they need with it. I will be sticking with the game seeing where it goes. I doubt i'll have much to do in it after a few weeks from now, but I will be following the development closely for sure! This is a game i'd like to see thrive.

Oh, and i love finding random shiny pebbles and gifting them to a gentle and quirky robot who knows how to appreciate a good shiny pebble. My people.

Here's a friend referral code if anyone is interested to try the game: https://accounts.palia.com/sign-up?referral=10945c08-80af-41df-917a-65761a8904c3

[s-4pphics]

I ALSO HAVE ANOTHER ONE WITH THAT SAME TEACHER (I don't think she was a teacher I'm pretty sure she was a dean but whatever) but it was a diff teacher this time and she was holding the gates for us so we can go home and while I was walking me and this girl were arguing and she called me fat so I called her a fatass back and ig the teacher who was holding the gate didn't hear when she called me fat so she said "oh you're fat too" like? YOURE A WHOLE ASS TEACHER CALLING A CHILD FAT? and then the teacher who called me out in the lunchroom LAUGHS AT THE JOKE (I went to a school in the hood too as a black girl so this was kinda normal I also didn't tell my mom ab this so that's why the teacher didn't get any consequences for saying allat) and the way I have so many of these stories too

-🚬

NAH AS A HOOD SCHOLAR😞😞 I RELATE

omg there was this one time in elem where i befriended a new student i’ll never forget that hoe anyway

i befriended her and i thought we had gotten pretty close over the next couple of months like we had lunch together everyday and we were neighbors so we would play after school a lot

she ends up befriending this other broad and they get super close and she just stops talking to me like i was still around them and whatever but she was treating me like a damn ghost🙄🙄 even moreso when she got her little shitty booty boyfriend

anyway time passes and it’s the last day of school before summer break and i’m looking for her so i can say bye and give her a hug. i found her, that girl and her boyfriend standing by the tetherball court and she’s like giving the two of them something out of a gift bag. i walk over and ask what they were and she was like “oh i collect rare shells and i’m giving them to my best friends” and when i asked well…. where tf is mine at she was like “oh i dont have one for u no hard feelings tho”

LIKE I LAUGH AT IT NOW BC FUCK ALLEM HOES but my little girl feelings were really hurt at the time like😞😞😞

[themostrabidofcarebears]

hi!! i would love to know what u think of the questions #1, #10 and #19 for the writer asks :)

HIII thank u for sending an ask omg ok

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

i usually write in whatever docs has it set to at first like arial or calibri but usually i’ll change it to something else like tnr or something before i post anywhere just so i can proofread in a new light, i don’t care much as long as it’s readable while i’m working B)

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

i think a lot of poetry has a tendency to do this more than full works like novels or whatever it’s like that raw emotion poems communicate really bluntly that i feel myself thinking about when i’m experiencing those same emotions sometimes like unbidden

as for my own writing honestly i move between ideas pretty quickly once they’re fully articulated so i would say maybe no? but i reread my own works a lot so i think it would be hard to “haunt” me . maybe in a few years i would have a different answer

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

omg ok SO i’ve been writing like all my life i used to write on like lined paper in my free time or in class during elem and middle school, just like original stories u know. then i wanna say late middle school i probably started writing fanfiction in my notes app and reading like wattpad and ff.net stories and then eventually maybe early high school i switched to gdocs and reading more on ao3. i don’t think i started posting on ao3 until like 2017 maybe and even now i have way more wips and unfinished stuff in docs compared to the like five or so fics i havé up on ao3

i wouldn’t say ive had many dry spells with writing at all my first thought when i get into a new fan space or have a new oc is to write for them bcos it’s like my favorite thing to do!! rn i’m really into writing stuff for me and my best friends oc so that’s been occupying most of my free time but i hope to circle back to my bnha longfic soon and get more of that out bcos i adore that story and have a lot more written i just need to bridge between now and what’s next hehe. always writing just depends on what i’m thinking about for what gets done B)

thanks so much for asking hero B)!!! have a good day <3

[treesap-blogs]

Review of “Lakelore” by Anna-Marie McLemore!

(Content warning for this review: Now normally I don’t do these, but when proof-reading this one, I found it needed that. This review contains semi-detailed discussions about bullying, as it is an important theme to this novel. If you want to skip past that, scroll to the end for my art or just skip the third paragraph.)

Hello, Tumblrians! Continuing on with my Trans Rights Readathon series, we’re in the home stretch!! This was the fourth of five books I read: Lakelore, by Anna-Marie McLemore. I found out about it from another Readathon TBR, and was overjoyed to see that it had both dual POV and nonbinary protagonists!!! And a T4T romance?! And neurodivergent representation?! And magical realism?!?! My god let a guy breathe, I’m in already!

Lakelore follows two Latine nonbinary teens: Bastían, and Lore. Bastían, for the last few years, has been secretly connecting with the world under this nearby lake, it’s been resurfacing to remind him of their anxieties and past that they tried to release underneath. Lore has recently moved to where Bastían lives, and has not seen them since they last showed them the world underneath the lake, several years ago when both were kids and presumably pre-transition. Lore finds themselves entangled with the lake’s world the more it resurfaces for Bastían, and the two develop a stronger bond and later romance as they’re forced by the lake to come to terms with their horrific pasts. 

To be honest, I’ll always have a soft spot in my heart for this book. It introduced me to Anna-Marie McLemore, who’s now one of my favorite authors, and although its subject matter is tough, it feels less like a punch and more like a reassuring hug to those who’ve experienced something similar. Bullying, whether it be because of your neurodivergence, race or both, simply feeling like an outcast, struggling to keep your emotions managed and hidden. Being a neurodivergent kid who similarly had a god awful experience in the public school system, I empathized with Lore’s experiences specifically. I remembered that feeling, of being told to laugh off others' remarks towards you, of doing everything in your power to survive and stand up straight as you’re being belittled, of being gaslit over and over again by admin even if you file a report like you’re told to by the adults. And when you’ve finally had enough and snap back, suddenly you’re in the wrong, you’re overreacting and you should think about and reconsider your actions. (For Lore though, this was something that had an added layer of pain and nuance with them also being a person of color.) Specifically that moment when Lore recognized their younger self’s laugh as the noise that’d been scaring them when the lake resurfaced, the one that wasn’t genuine but pained and an attempt to laugh with their tormentors at themselves because they’d been told that was the right thing to do in that situation, really fucked with me. 

But, Bastían and Lore heal. They not only assist but find community in each other. That element of connection, in my opinion, made their romance feel not just organic but earned (even if Lore takes a bit to come to terms with that, sigh). God, I just loved these two. A lot of moments are great, but some of my favorites of the more lighthearted but still gender based ones were the two doing “gender forecasts” in their conversations (they had elements of gender fluidity and would describe how it changed daily, it reminded me of some conversations I’d had with my trans friends), and when Bastían was too anxious to ask for extra assistance on how to insert on their testosterone because they had trouble retaining instructions with their ADHD, Lore helped them and they got to practice with another practice needle and an orange. The mental health representation was also just absolutely stellar. Just,,all the brainrot and happy feels for these two 🥹

Anyhow! Onto the rest of my review. As for the magical realism elements, I loved the air of mystery throughout, but towards the end I felt it stopped being mysterious and just remained vague. I wish we got more explanation on the lake world, and more resolution with it because a lot went unexplained (what about the paper maché alebrijes that would follow Bastían around like little puppies?!). That’s probably one of the only criticisms I have of this book because those elements were what drew me into the plot, but otherwise it was phenomenal. 

(Here’s my colored pencil and pastel drawing I made of Bastían and Lore! I tried my best to go off of the book descriptions and a few fanart pieces I saw floating around on Instagram.)

Book rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ ½ /5 stars

(Book content/trigger warnings: Ableism, bullying, transphobia, homophobia, racism, and sexual harassment.)

~Paz, signing off!

Trans Rights Readathon Reviews: 4/5

[485132]

today i played elden ring literally nonstop all day, so let me tell you about the bosses i did bc i know u care -

Starscourge Radahn - took some tries but only because in my first run, when i summoned, i almost got him. so i was like, oh. this is so EZ. let me CHALLENGE myself. let me not summon anyone. immediately i get my shit rocked like no one's business. okay, radahn, i see u and i hear u. im summoning everyone.

all in all, not bad, 8/10

Mimic Tear - EZ. first try. didnt even sweat. im bad, ergo she was bad. ez victory.

Regal Ancestor Spirit - FUCK THIS DEER. fuck you and fuck your teleportation to the other side of the arena. and FUCK you for HEALING YOUR FULL HEALTH BAR. its only okay when *I* DO IT. why do you heal three goddamn times are you joking. die die die-

Dragonkin Soldier of Nokstella - took only like three tries? not bad! his second phase almost rocked my world like nobody else, but he went down. slashy slash damage ez.

Magma Wyrm - took some tries because of the fire. let me just slash at you without you burning my feet, thanks. but he dropped the moonveil katana which i genuinely forgot about so ty for that

Failed Attempts:

Valiant Gargoyles - i was doing FINE until the second one came and rocked my shit. fuck you and your hoe ass gargoyle friend.

Elemer of the Briar - hes doable tbh, i just wasnt feeling like committing 1000 years to the fight in that very moment.

[fakevariety]

thinking about elem school and how most of the kids i hung out with were boys because they were the only ones who wanted to play sports (which really annoyed me because i wanted to play with more girls but none of them wanted to play soccer with us) and my best friends were boys and the amount of times i got accused of having a crush on them was SO ANNOYING also i never had a crush on anyone until seventh grade(last year) but no one ever believed me when i said i had never had a crush which was also really annoying and even as a young kid i was aware of how heteronormative society is because i would be exposed to it every day just because i enjoyed hanging out and being friends with boys