#even just daring to think he doesn't want a partner to cheat on him
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Hi! For the OC ask meme, I would love to know your answers for 5, 6 and 10 for Nate in Underline the Blue 💙 💙 Thanks :D
5. How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want?
Not very! I mean all Nate wanted was to be back with Christian for most of Underline the Blue so far and all he did to achieve that was...nothing. He's definitely not an escape artist.
But I guess it also depends on your perspective. He was willing to endure abuse and being committed to Hillview and being raped by a complete stranger if it meant that his abuser would love him.
I guess six of one and half a dozen of the other!
6. How easily could your OC be convinced to do something that goes against their moral compass?
I would say pretty easily. *gestures to his entire history with Christian.* There's a lot of things he's been convinced into doing or accepting that were things he used to think were monstrous a long time ago.
Honestly if Christian had convinced him that watching a murder and saying nothing about it was a good idea, Nate would definitely accept not saying anything about it. One of the main reasons Nate is so broken in the first place when we first meet him is the depth of the abuse he endured has shattered his self concept, and once you get to that point with a person, things like 'moral compass' are a luxury, and not a right.
The answer might (will) be different later on in the story! But we're not quite there yet. Nate's at the point where he'll beg someone not to violate his moral compass, but will still accept being coerced into it.
10. What's an AU that would be interesting to explore with your OC?
The one I'm literally writing right now!
Nate started out in Falling Falling Stars with Janusz, and Christian was mentioned there. But I never went that deep into explaining Nate's closed off asshole-ish attitude, beyond indicating that he has emotional abuse trauma and that he finds other people with PTSD triggering because of Christian.
So Underline the Blue is a way of finally putting him and Janusz front and centre, and kind of telling a version of their story, and showing Nate's inner world a bit more (even if he is an omega, we still get to see how badly he was treated by a version of Christian).
Beyond that, I have no real interest in writing Nate and Janusz into other AUs, this I feel will complete their narrative!
~
From the edgy meme AU!
#asks and answers#memey goodness#nate prince#janusz bodanowicz#underline the blue#underline the rainbow#i think that's something that's like the worst part of being abused so profoundly#is that things like morals and ethics cease to matter#they become only an instrument to torture you with#along with your hopes and dreams#even just daring to think he doesn't want a partner to cheat on him#and that he finds this morally wrong to accept#seems like something he deserves to be punished for#in his own mind
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One Sided Love Triangles: Tokyo Debunker
Link to Twisted Wonderland Post
Because I hate when people have to lose. Though I'd be way more comfortable writing a normal love triangle for tdb than twst... there's a few of these bitches who could stand to be knocked down a peg or two.
Haru vs Peekaboo- betrayal never comes from your enemies does it. Haru wants to be happy you get along with his baby, and he's really grateful for your continued help in the anomalous animal sanctuary, really. He even originally found your interactions with Peekabo really cute! He's got a bunch of videos saved on his phone and everything but he can't help but feel just a wee bit bitter. He really wants to be the one with his head in your lap getting scritches and being told how cute he is. Something he'd never say to your face but whines about at the bar enough for Romeo to record and send to you. "For free?" Yeah for free he's had enough of this shit please come get your man MC.
Kaito vs Luca- this one is cannon to a degree I think... Kaito is deeply insecure about how much more confident Luca is around MC compared to him and how the girls on campus seem to like him more. The fact that he's so painfully oblivious doesn't help, meanwhile Luca is just overjoyed that his two best friends are in such a good relationship. You're genuinely perfect for each other, why all these secrecy and making him promise not to tell the other about the nice things you say? Isn't it natural to gush about your partner???
Towa vs Ren- Towa is such a pouty baby who doesn't fully understand his feelings and Ren is just happy to have a friend who understands the concept of a log in bonus. Neither of you fully realize that Towa is attempting to flirt, or would it be closer to say woo? All you know is one minute the two of you are casually chilling and talking about horror movies or something and then *BAM* Towa's thrown some flowers at Ren and pulled you into his lap. He's happy you wiggle to get comfy with him but very upset that you keep up your conversation with Ren. Stop being a good senpai and pay attention to hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim.
Tohma vs Leo- just hear me out. I don't think Tohma really gets jealous? He seems super secure in himself and his abilities so he doesn't have much of a reason to get whiny and silly over MC, that's your role in the relationship. And he knows, logically that this little video Leo uploaded is bait to test the security on campus but it doesn't stop him from damn near cracking his phone in half when he sees it. That's how Leo wants to play this little game? Well fine, Tohma hopes he's ready to be thoroughly humiliated. No one can flirt with another man's partner quite as well as a bitch with a monocle. Leo is totally unaware any of this for the most part, he just assumes the extra irritation he's picking up on from Tohma is because he keeps spying on him and Alan. The fact he keeps teasing MC doesn't even cross his mind, he's just doing that to irritate you.
... as a side note can you imagine how confused everyone would get if Leo and MC kept picking fights about their upcoming "divorce" when no one even thought they were ever technically together. Except for Ritsu who sits you down to seriously try to talk you in to let him being your divorce attorney and still doesn't fully get that it's a joke by the time you're done. Actually while I'm at it:
Leo vs Ritsu- where that's exactly your dynamic but Leo starts catching some genuine feelings when he tries to crack a joke about you cheating on him with your divorce attorney only to realize that makes him unironically angry. How dare you, after everything you've been through. Wasn't he he enough? You know he can't treat you like he can. And you're just like "what can't treat me wrong?" And then you have a very toxic make out session Sho has to hear both of you scream about later while he seriously considers taking up a drinking problem.
Taiga vs Haru- this game has one character named Haru (ginger, baby) and one named Haku (green, evil?) Which confuses me an unreasonable amount. I already mentioned I wanted a serious Taiga vs Haku love triangle... but Taiga vs Haru would just be silly. You have MC who loves anomalous animals and hanging out in Jabberwock and Taiga who hates emotional intimacy and his feelings for MC just as much as he hates the idea of you being with anyone else. And of all people why Harry? He thought they were friends... or cool at least even if he won't let him eat that chinchilla thing. And now he's got MC playing defense for it too, it's irritating. He already has to fight himself to remember who you are every time he sees you again and go through the annoyance of recognizing he's a bit in love and now he can't even break into the animal sanctuary without tripping over himself and paying attention to you instead. It's annoying and it's all Haru's fault for having everything he wants. (If you ask he'll say that complaint is about Peekaboo but Haru and Romeo know it's not.) Haru is just trying to get some help from a trusted friend he's so stressed out ;-;
Sho vs Jin- Sho and his excuses... he doesn't want to just invite you to hang out and he doesn't want to ask you to come help him with the food truck because you've got so much else to do. You deserve a chance to rest, and he wants to be who you come to do that with. But Jin... he'd make that so much easier if it was him wouldn't he? He's rich and connected, and you're so sweet he's sure you could thaw that frozen heart enough for him to see you as human and not a gopher. Sho knows you, the moment he started paying attention to you he saw you as a person. But he still hurt you... and Jin didn't really do that did he? Jin doesn't like Sho because he's in Vagastrom and he doesn't trust him with your safety. Sho might see a rival and a better option, but what he's really dealing with is MC's disapproving dad who can't stand that their boyfriend has a leather jacket and a motorbike. He bets he's got tattoos and an arrest record too doesn't he MC, Jin is judging you so hard.
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Death Note Yandere L Lawliet x Wife Reader Smut
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(The picture above was edited by me).
NSFW content // Angst // Click here part 2
⚠️ WARNING ⚠️ Involves themes of kidnapping, stalking, cheating, non-consensual sexual behaviors, breeding, the usage of sex toys and bondage.
L's internal monologue:
Darling, if you measured good and evil deeds by current laws, I would be responsible for many crimes, however, nothing would be more unjust than not rescuing you from your loveless marriage. Yes, your husband is a courageous and hard-working task force member, but he's also a neglectful piece of shit towards you.
He doesn't even know your sleep schedule or how many cups of coffee you've ordered in the past three months, is he even aware that your birthday is in 70 hours, 16 minutes and 43 seconds? My love, you're just like a beautiful puzzle and every day my cameras and private investigators find more precious pieces.
Nothing is of greater importance than you Y/N, I love you so much. I feel like such a creep but I don't care, I have never cared, everything in life is a game including love, and I have never lost, why? Because I am L.
Present Day, (your birthday):
You slowly open your heavy eyelids to find yourself in a well-furnished bedroom decorated with expensive decor and silk curtains and bedding. Your head was pounding and your limbs were weak, were you drunk? Did your friends bring you here to rest after you fainted during your birthday party?
You immediately panicked when you realised you were restrained to the bed across from a crouched, pale man with dark, piercing eyes. It was your husband's supervisor on the Kira investigation, Ryuzaki.
You were merely acquaintances since you only visited the headquarters to drive your husband home or to bring baked goods for your husband and his co-workers. He was odd and reserved however he always praised your cooking and never failed to impress you with his intelligence. You felt sympathy for him since your husband told you he was basically a lonely workaholic. Your husband even joked that maybe he had a crush on you since he gazed upon you like his cake and cases; with desire and fascination, (lolololololol).
You could only think of one logical explanation for why you were here with him.
"Ryuzaki! Do you suspect that I'm Kira!? Is that why I'm here?!" you cried, "No" L responded flatly. "Then what's happening? Where am I?" you whined, "I would rather you not know of your location, but rest assured you are perfectly safe" L replied calmly. "If this is some sort of joke it isn't funny, untie me now!" you snapped, "Yes, I fully suspected that you would be averse to this my darling". "Darling?! Ryuzaki I'm married! You brought me here didn't you!" you exclaimed, "Yes, since I wish to demonstrate why I'm a more suitable romantic partner for you Y/N". Scowling you said, "Well you've already messed up because kidnappers are not my type! My husband is a good man".
"During the past 6 months, your husband has cancelled 130 dates, has only engaged in sexual activity with you on 4 separate occasions and seemingly has not acknowledged your birthday. You deserve someone who is much more attentive and devoted like myself, surely you understand that I rescued you from a loveless marriage".
You were silent. That creep had been fucking stalking you.
He opened the bedside draw, obtaining a large, pink vibrator, "Perhaps this will help, consider it a birthday gift" L chuckled. He lifted your skirt and ripped into your underwear, "Don't you dare!" you snarled, "I'm going to demonstrate how satisfying sex can really be" L uttered while ogling in between your legs.
You choked as he began clumsily massaging in-between your thighs with the sex toy, experimenting with various speeds and intensities to discover what your cunt enjoyed the most. You clenched your teeth to contain your moans since you didn't want to give this sick pervert any validation, however being as perceptive as he was, you weren't able to fool him.
"Your pupils are dilated, your face is flushed and your vulva is already producing lubrication, all typical signs of arousal" L remarked bluntly. "W-what?" you stammered, "Trying to remain quiet is useless Y/N since I already know that your body is finding this device pleasurable. So please, let me hear those pretty little moans of yours, you were always so quiet during sex with your husband my love".
You struggled against your rope as L swirled the vibrator on the highest intensity level around your sensitive, swollen clit. But it was hopeless, you couldn't escape the waves of incredible pleasure that vibrated throughout your pussy. You were in an intoxicating daze and your body was hot and trembling; you were so touched starved that your body was already begging to cum. "Ryuzaki!" you screamed while you squirted all over the vibrator; feeling shocks of electrifying pleasure overwhelm your cunt while your legs jolted.
You gasped as you suddenly felt L smoothly slid his aching dick inside your quivering and dripping hole. He began rocking his hips back and forth, his eyes fixating on his cock which was now glistening from your sweet cum. Aha! Hah! Oh...hah..you feel so...so amazing" L whined, "Stop..aha...fucking me...you..hah..bastard!" you panted. "Aha..ugh..I won't be m-much longer, so there's no need to worry Y/N". You were praying that nobody would hear the creaking of the bed, L's whining or the squelching of precum.
You already could feel another orgasm stirring within you since his desperate thrusting never allowed your body to relax. His firm shaft gliding against your aching g-spot felt like shocks of thrilling ecstasy filling your loins, it was fucking addicting. "I-I am close t-to" L stuttered as his thrusting became erratic and rapid, "Already?! P-pull out!" you yelped. "Ngh! Aah! Aha!" L grunted as he spurted his thick, creamy cum deep inside your greedy, soaking pussy. "You idiot" you moaned as his lengthy, hard dick continued relentlessly slapping against your womb.
"I want y-you to hah! Climax a-again, now aha" L babbled while rubbing the vibrator against your needy clit. Your eyes locked, those once cold, dead eyes were now filled with passion and vulnerability, his gaze was practically saying, "I need you Y/N, I need your body, please surrender to me, don't hurt me". "I-I going too..ah..aha!" you groaned before another explosion of pleasure shot throughout your body. Your pussy clenched tighter around L's shaft as you cummed, squeezing another load of rich, hot cum from his throbbing erection. L tossed aside the vibrator, tore through your blouse and began sucking your nipples, leaving them slippery and hard. "I love you so much Y/N" L purred, "Kiss me then" you whispered shakily. You were disgusted with yourself but your husband hadn't fucked you with the same amount of lust and love for months.
Your hands broke free and in-tangled with L's dark, fluffy locks while you both sloppily kissed, "I'm s-sorry my love, I-m g-going to...aha again!" L choked. "Use me as your cum slut Ryuzaki" you begged, no longer caring that he wasn't using condoms and that you weren't taking birth control. "Say that again Y/N! And aha! Keep clenching around me like that, ngh!", "Use me Ryuzaki! I'm your cum slut, fill my pussy over and over again, do whatever you want to me". "G-good girl" L hissed while finally draining his balls of milky, sticky semen; fucking his own leaking cum back into your abused cunt to ensure your womb would be filled with every drop.
L slowly slipped out his dick and buttoned his jeans, you slapped his face and hastily untied your ankles. "You know that really hurt" L mumbled while rubbing his cheek. You rushed to the door and shook the locked door knob, "Open this door! Right now or I'll kill you!" you shrieked. "You found just as much pleasure as I did in that experience so why be so averse towards me? I love you so much Y/N, you look so beautiful" L praised. "Of course, you'd think that you pervert! I'm half naked and filled with you fucking cum" you snarled, "I'm a pervert?".
"Yes! And a monster! My husband is a great detective so he will find you and throw you in prison forever!" you snapped, "Only a monster can catch another monster, it's why I'm a far greater detective and why you'll be residing with me for a very long time" L replied monotonously while kissing your forehead. Whining you said, "I hate you", "I love you too" he whispered.
#death note#l lawliet#death note anime#death note fandom#death note fanfiction#l x reader#lawliet x reader#l smut#yandere smut#l death note#death note lawliet#female reader#@aureliaaa666#yandere L#yandere L smut death note#Death note x female reader#female reader x L#death note smut#death note l#death note manga#l lawliet fanfic#l x you#death note angst#minors do not interact#death note one shot#@operah555#l lawilet#lawilet fanfic#L fanfiction#death note headcanons
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SKZ getting cheated on (Hyung Line + Han)
(How long it’ll take them to find out on their own, how they’d react, if they’d break up or not)
Chan
Honestly, it'd probably take him a while to realize. Because, for one, he'd probably feel very stable in his relationship and his place in his partner's life. He has that "They'd never because they NEED me" kinda mentality. The longer they've been together the less likely he is to find out organically unless he full-on catches them in the act. He also feels like his relationships are very solid at their core. Another big issue is to be entirely sure his partner is cheating, he needs to break free of delusions. It would also just be far too much for him if he did suspect it because he'd be afraid he'd lose his partner for even daring to think something like that. I think he'd also...Take things for granted? Like, "I have you there's no way you'd ever leave or want anything more/else" type of thing. Everything's familiar. And he doesn't take into account that anything could possibly happen.
If he finds out he got cheated on, he'd immediately tell his friends and seek comfort in them. I'm also getting he's the type who'd cheat on his partner to get his lick back or something. Cheating is something Chan can't get past, so he'd definitely leave them. He'd feel hopeless, and his entire life would probably momentarily crash and burn. I think he'd also be really frustrated and it'd ruin his trust in everyone in his life. He'd also push down and suppress a lot of things. Because of that, the feelings of hurt and anger and resentment can easily fester because he didn't allow himself to acknowledge them or hash them out.
Lee Know
Idk why I immediately thought of ice spice
Specifically that like "You think you the shit, bitch? You not even the fart." I don't even like her or that song
BUT ANYWAYS
He'd know quickly. You can't HIDE that from this man. Trust he'll find out ASAP. Because, one, his intuition is on a whole other level. Two, he'd immediately know if something's off. Whether that be your location being off or somewhere it's not supposed to, etc. Even if you think you're slick he'll FIND a tell one way or another. I'm also a firm believer he goes through phones. I'm talking every nook and cranny of that phone including your EMAILS. He's finding that shit one way or another and you're lucky if there's a 24 hour window of time where he doesn't know about it. He'll find a way to figure it out.
In terms of how he'd react...He'd definitely find out on his own, so there'd be this 'Aha!' moment. Because he knew he wasn't going crazy. He's going to figure out every nitty gritty detail of the cheating with PRINTED OUT laminated receipts with copies just incase. He's definitely gonna confront his partner. And trust he's going to have a boost of confidence figuring it out. Definitely not the type who blames himself. He's also probably telling everyone and their mother. And YOUR mother. He sees it as a battle won and everyone needs to hear about the victory.
He has a 50/50 chance of leaving, though. On ONE hand, while trust is very important to him he'd also feel a sense of...I don't want to say ownership but that's the only word I can think of over his partners. So, he simply wouldn't want to let them go. I feel like the love would also linger a lot because he feels very deeply. So, he may just stay with his partner and fall into some toxic habits of keeping them on lockdown, being all hovery...The type who's calling his partner every 5 minutes, showing up to their job to make sure they're there, getting their Apple login so they can receive every single message and notif they do...He's keeping them on LOCK. But on the other hand, he could very well just...Fall out of love in an instant. It's very contradictory. Love and hate are two sides of the same coin and he has a very large capacity for hate, especially when betrayed. Probably just moved onto the next. So yeah, he's either dumping you rather cruelly then moving on like you never existed, or keeping you uner lock and key.
Changbin
He'd probably FIND OUT fairly quickly, because he'd kind of have this gut feeling. But he'd suppress those feelings and convince himself he was insane until he finally catches his partner red handed and realizes he's right on the money. Because he's very passionate about his relatinship and doesn't want to be imposing on his partner or doubting them for no reason. That's not his intention nor something he's comfortable with doing. He also wants to trust in his partner. He'll probably lose faith in himself and just be very on edge until he realizes he's right.
His entire life would fall apart when he finds out. He falls into destructive tendencies. Probably self-sabotages a lot. He feels like a failure, and he's so afraid of being made fun of or looked down on because he got cheated on. He'd probably fall into a depression and just be very negative. He'd feel like he wasn't enough, and couldn't be good enough. And feel he just couldn't be all his partner needed so they found it in someone else. But he'd also regain some of his trust in himself. Because he realized his intuition was right and he wasn't just losing his mind. Would definitely need a lot of kindness and comfort from friends and family, and a lot of self-expolration. May fall into delusions to help himself cope.
He'd also definitely break up with his partner if they cheated. Because they're obviously not his person, and he'll find his person.
Hyunjin
I haven't even pulled yet and I already know this'll affect my mental wellbeing
But also...MY MAN MY MAN MY MANNNNN I haven't read on him in a while (I'm saying this because he's my bias not because i'm delusional enough to think he'd want me don't @ me)
FIRST OF ALL, he'd believe he's being cheated on long before he actually is. Like, I wouldn't be surprised if he's already been in a situation where he dreamed of being cheated on and then a few weeks later got cheated on and was convinced he was a prophet or something. Not literally but you catch my drift. But I also feel like the amount of time it'd take to figure it out is considerably lengthened by the fact that he looks at everything through rose-tinted glasses of hopeless romance. He has a love for life and is more focused on that than anything else. Plus, he's near perpetually convinced he's about to be cheated on or is being cheated on so once he genuinely DOES see the red flags it's less...Impactful? To him? Because he sees them in everything. He's sensitive, though, so i feel like he'd sense it if something was off. Like, if his partner was cheating because of lost feelings he'd realize the lost feelings. And then, his imagination would take the wheel and suddenly it's a joyride off a cliff and into a mental spiral. I feel like deep down he'd also know like "Oh shit, this is different. They may actually be cheating for real." I feel like he has the emotional maturity to know that other times he was overreacting and being delusional. But this is more than that. I feel like the moment he open his eyes, he'll immediately know.
And he's getting the hell up out of there.
He'd be CRUSHED if he found out he got cheated on. He'd probably throw his money away doing stupid shit with it, fall into certain bad habits. He'd feel hopeless, and feel like everything he worked so hard for during the relationship was a waste. Like he's failed. But he'd also 100% publicly expose his partner. I also think he'd drown his sorrows in another relationship or fling or whatever. I'm talking within the hour of finding out he's under someone else for the sole purpose of distraction. He'd also 100% use this to fuel his general anger/crashoutery for the next few months. Like he'll be another level of volatile and emotionally unstable. He'd probably reflect a lot on the relationship. He'd withdraw from a lot of things and just want to be by himself and recover from the pain. Definitely would avoid anything that could potentially stress him out.
He'd also break up with his partner. Surprisingly. I was honestly expecting him to stay. But I feel like his energy has changed? He has more trust in himself and his value and he's not just content sticking around through mistreatment anymore. Good for him.
Han
Shawty bae
I don’t think he’d notice? He’d just very much be blinded by everything. He idealizes his relationships, and he’d be so happy he just genuinely wouldn’t notice if something was amiss. He’s also just generally an overthinker and has a very scattered mind, so I think if he did pick up on something he wouldn’t notice AT ALL he’s not being delusional.
I think he’d still love them if they cheated. But I also think he’d be the type to…Cheat back? If his partner were to ever cheat on him. He’d definitely also get closer with friends and family for emotional support and find happiness there. Mask the sadness with more happiness and drown himself in pleasure. I think once he finds out everything will suddenly connect. All the puzzle pieces will fall into place and everything will suddenly make sense.
I think he would want to but I don’t think he would. It’d be a big inner conflict and he’d really have to force himself to. He’d need to think on it and his friends and family would have to push for it. Because he’s like “Well I’ve put so much effort into this why throw it away?” And just values the stability relationships and having his ‘other half’ brings to him.
#hyunjin#kpop tarot#skz#stray kids#tarot#skz tarot#stray kids tarot#Chan#Bangchan#Lee know#Minho#Lee Minho#Changbin#seo Changbin#hwang Hyunjin#headcanons#imagines#skz headcanons#skz imagines
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Toji as an Affair Partner
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18+ content, Minors do NOT interact
Pairing: F!Reader x Toji
Warnings: NSFW, cheating, public indecency, bondage, oral (male receiving), aggressive sex, yummy
Word Count: 2.4k
A/N: Okay, so this one I went a bit overboard but, I just see Toji as a huge perv who's also super bold.
Affair Partner Toji who spots you when you’re on a night out with your girl friends. He can’t miss the way you smile. It lights up the room and draws him in like a moth to a flame.
Affair Partner Toji whose eyes drag along your figure, raking over your curves. He finds his lip is caught between his teeth as he imagines the things he would do to you, if given the chance.
Affair Partner Toji who eyes your wedding ring but doesn't care. He loves a married woman. They don't get clingy cause they're always too ashamed to keep talking to him after just one night of erotic fantasies come to life.
Affair Partner Toji who isn't surprised by your rejection cause that’s what they all say. He simply sticks his business card in your cleavage and walks away, muttering a ‘text me when you change your mind.’ knowing full well all you women are the same.
Affair Partner Toji who flusters you with his bold move, leaving a crimson blush across the apples of your cheeks as you avoid eye contact with your friends, all of them slack-jawed as their eyes flash between you and the retreating mountainous figure.
Affair Partner Toji who you text later that night after another fight with your husband. The jerk made fun of your body, again, poking your lower gut and telling you to lay off the calories. You're not even heavy, he just likes to bring you down cause he knows you’re out of his league. Even so, you can't shake the anger you feel and if he doesn’t find you beautiful, you know someone who does.
Affair Partner Toji who responds immediately, not at all surprised that you reached out. You're predictable, just like the others. He’s fully aware of his appearance and guarantees your husband can't compare. After all, what bored wife wouldn't want a night of sexual adventure with a god?
Affair Partner Toji who gives you very specific instructions for the dress code of your date. Yes, a date. He clearly details what you should wear, something tight that doesn't limit his access, and unless you want to be bare-bottomed in front of the entire restaurant, you will not dare wear a bra.
Affair Partner Toji who you squeezed into a black mini dress for. The front has a plunging neckline, displaying all of your cleavage, rouching along the left side seam and a glittering short skirt that drops a mere two inches below the flesh of your backside. You lie to your husband, telling him that your best friend is having a work event and she invited you to be her date. The man doesn’t suspect a thing, even when he sees you without a bra underneath but, does make sure to get in a dig about your age and the fact that your chest isn’t as perky anymore…as if it’s a crime to be 30.
Affair Partner Toji who sees you pull up in an Uber and rushes to open the door for you, helping you out of the car as his eyes shamelessly explore the nooks and crannies exposed by your dress, drinking in your appearance as if you are a fine wine.
Affair Partner Toji who knows the hostess inside the restaurant, tipping her before she leads you to a back corner table, showing you to a luxurious leather upholstered booth where Toji insists on sitting next to you rather than across from you.
Affair Partner Toji who makes you nervous as his hand immediately grips the inside of your thigh while he orders drinks for the both of you. An act that would normally annoy you but at this moment, your mind is too preoccupied to think straight so you are grateful for his assertive dominance.
Affair Partner Toji who drapes his humongous arm over your shoulder, his middle finger mindlessly circling your areola, steadily stiffening the nub at its center.
Affair Partner Toji who makes your breathing shallow without even trying but he can tell something is off so he asks you what’s wrong.
Affair Partner Toji who you confess to that you don’t always feel the prettiest because of the remarks your husband makes about your body. While Toji doesn’t necessarily care about trivial things such as insecurities, or marriage, he does recognize that you gave him an excellent opportunity for a little torment.
Affair Partner Toji who traps your peak through the fabric of your dress, tugging till he sees your face scrunch up in discomfort. “Do you think that I’d be here if you weren’t pretty?” He begins to roll the nub between his pointer and thumb causing you to squirm in your seat. “Do you think I’d be touching your tits if they weren’t perfect?” He punctuates his question with a harsh slap to your chest before recapturing your nipple. “Do you think I give a fuck what your husband believes?” His grip becomes so harsh that you cry out. Wetness between your legs begins to gush out, the intense teasing doing something to you that you just can’t explain.
Affair Partner Toji who didn’t actually bring you here on this date to have a date; he brought you here because he loves the thrill of public foreplay.
Affair Partner Toji who digs in his pocket and pulls out a chain with two clips. Your eyes nervously dart around the room, looking for the wandering glances of nearby strangers. Toji on the other hand pulls out your chest from your dress, one handful at a time, like it’s the most routine thing in the world. You turn to him in panic, pushing his hands away to which he casually grasps your neck applying pressure, your chest bare for the entire room to see. He silences your protest with a small squeeze of warning, his voice rumbling in your ear, “Resist and you’ll pay for it later. Do you understand?” You’re stunned by his audacity but it’s the most exhilarating thing you’ve ever done in your life, made even more exciting by the fact that this man isn't even your husband.
Affair Partner Toji who traps your sore buds in clamps before tucking them away in your dress, making you suddenly very aware of how the fabric rubs against them.
Affair Partner Toji who allows his hand to wander under your sparkling skirt, each touch driving you mad with lust, all of it pooling in the fabric of your thong. “Hands behind your back.” he orders, the tenor of his voice alone, adding to the attraction buzzing between your thighs. You obediently follow, wondering just how far he was going to take things.
Affair Partner Toji whose dexterous fingers slip your panties aside so that they may feel your sopping hole, sinking in to the third knuckle before withdrawing completely and feeding it to you. Your cheeks, already an impossible crimson, spread their flush all the way down your neck and to your sternum as you hollow your cheeks around the digit.
Affair Partner Toji who lightly slaps your face once his fingers are clean thanks to the thorough work of your tongue, before revisiting the paradise under your hem just as your waiter returns with your drinks.
Affair Partner Toji who denies you a sip until you have had your precourse, instructing you to get on your knees under the table and drink from his fountain. “It might take some sucking, Princess, but there’s plenty waiting to satisfy your thirst.”
Affair Partner Toji who has you freeing his sizeable manhood, letting the appendage thud against this pelvis before gripping it in your small hands. In awe, you glide your thumb over the engorged head, slick with pre, before licking your palms and running them up and down his length, the rush of excitement running up his shaft all the more obvious within your grasp.
Affair Partner Toji who has you bobbing up and down beneath the table, taking him down your windpipe like the good little slut he’s forcing you to be. You haven’t done anything like this in so long that you’re both out of practice and out of breath.
Affair Partner Toji whose hand pushes down on the back of your head, forcing all of himself down your throat to silence your slurping noises while the waitress drops off your food. She doesn’t take notice of your empty seat but does give a flirty smile, to which he winks as if you’re not below the table with his dick stuffing your face.
Affair Partner Toji who lets go and allows only a second of reprieve before he’s shoving you down again, ordering you to play with yourself till he cums. Your fingers travel between your legs, circling around your nerve bundle as you take every inch he gives you with your mouth. Your throat flutters with your excitement, each stroke building upon the last.
Affair Partner Toji who all out fucks your face, not caring how loud it is or how obvious he’s being. He chooses this back table for a reason and he’s not going to apologize for his motives. His hot ropes spring into your throat as you twist on the floor, bringing yourself over the edge from the sheer detached abuse. You aren’t a date, you’re a toy, and something about that satiated all the pent-up need that you didn’t realize was collecting in your body for years.
Affair Partner Toji who looks down at you, viewing your slightly glazed-over eyes and wiping the drool spilling from your lips. “Swallow.” Your throat bobs as you obey. “Now you may come up and join me.” You slide back into the seat of the booth, fixing your hair made messy by Toji’s hands, praying that it’s not too obvious what you just did, however, the pesky chain connecting your breasts is rather obvious through the tight fabric and you long to take it off. “Don’t you dare.” he threatens as he catches your eyes wandering down.
Affair Partner Toji who allows you to finish your meal and orders dessert to-go but as the waitress boxes up the dish and returns with the staggering bill, pulls one last trick from his pocket, cuffing your hands behind your back and hiding the evidence by draping his coat over your shoulders.
Affair Partner Toji who doesn’t give a fuck that you’re married. He walks you through the restaurant as if he owns you, guiding you to his car where he opens the door and buckles you in. He then pulls down your underwear and pulls out your breasts, clamps and all, for the ride home.
Affair Partner Toji whose member stiffens in his pants when you’re stopped at a red light. The men in the car next to you are staring at your chest through the window, your eyes staring straight ahead in shame. “Let them see, baby. Everyone deserves a peak.” he coos as you look to him with pleading eyes. His thumb casually grazes the sensitive skin causing you to flinch. The men in the car next to you laugh, their own pants tightening at your whorish display.
Affair Partner Toji who finally gets you home, the seams of his pants straining from how hard he is. He rounds the car and opens the door, leaning down to unbuckle you. “Time to open up.” he says, lifting the links between your chest and resting them in your mouth. “Close” he states as you bite down on the silver before he tosses you over his shoulder as like the spoils of war, your underwear slide down to your ankles, caught only by the straps of your heeled shoes.
Affair Partner Toji who slaps the flesh of your behind on his way to the bed, the excitement overwhelming him. He is sooooo ready to bury himself in your gummy cavern, his member is practically pulsing from the anticipation.
Affair Partner Toji who lays you on the bed, instructing you to let your special little necklace go and use your dirty mouth to wet him. He bullies his way past your lips the second they open, once more cutting off your air supply and making you choke.
Affair Partner Toji who plunges between your legs, watching how your face morphs into an expression of pure pleasure as your weeping little cunt is stuffed with his size. He begins to lightly stroke, taunting you as he admires how your essence glistens around his shaft.
Affair Partner Toji who has you squirming beneath him, feeling crazed by his relentless teasing as his languid strokes don’t quite satisfy what you need from him.
Affair Partner Toji who stills himself, earning a whine from you before he cruelly removes the clamps from your sore buds. The lift in pressure is painful, causing you to constrict around him as you yelp. His pointed tongue drags over the area, so sensitive from the prolonged abuse that your back snaps into a bow while you continue to close in around him.
Affair Partner Toji who is spurred on by how tight you are, clearly underused by your husband. He begins to pound into you with impressive speed as you lay on your back, helplessly restrained, while he steadily folds you in half, more and more.
Affair Partner Toji who flips you onto your knees, your face squishing into the mattress, nearly breaking your neck from the power of his thrusts. While he enjoys playing this little game with women, something about the way you wrap around him feels so good that it makes him painfully hard, even now as he fucks you into the mattress.
Affair Partner Toji whose strength makes for unimaginable stamina, the extreme pace and power of his thrusts continue for a relentless amount of time.
Affair Partner Toji who picks you up like you weigh nothing, and continues to drive in while supporting your entire weight. Your cuffed hands straining against the metal, desperate to steady yourself instead of being tossed around like a ragdoll.
Affair Partner Toji who throws you back on the bed, your ass high in the air as your knees come up to your ears, just to stuff you from above, jackrabbiting into you till your legs shake from compounding orgasms.
Affair Partner Toji who pushes you beyond your limits, overstimulating you and degrading you for being his little nympho, his fingers exploring your sensitive spots, whirling around your clit like it were a joystick, causing you to spasm within his grip.
Affair Partner Toji who lays you back down, his mouth wandering your neck, chest, and ribs, kissing each part of your skin with buttery soft lips that leave tingles in their wake and cause you center to flutter.
Affair Partner Toji who finishes with punctuated thrusts, dizzying your mind and causing you to see stars. Your breathing comes ragged and your cries are loud.
Affair Partner Toji who paints your chest with his spend before dipping his finger in it and feeding it to you for a second time.
Affair Partner Toji who cleans you up and releases your cuffs. He brings the dessert in the to-go container over to you, two forks in hand, so that you may share the treat in bed together.
Affair Partner Toji who pretends to be your Uber driver when he takes you home. He carries you to the door and hands you off to your husband because your legs are rendered useless and you both have to play it off like you got too drunk at the party.
Affair Partner Toji who smiles to himself when he sees that your husband looks nothing like him yet feels a pang of possessive jealousy that he’s never known before.
Affair Partner Toji who was your standard fuck boy but woke up praying you’d messaged him between last night and this morning. Something about you is setting up camp in his mind and he can't shake this feeling that you should belong to him.
Affair Partner Toji who wears a shit-eating grin when he sees that you’re already begging for more.
Masterlist
#jjk smut#toji fushiguro#toji fantasy#jjk toji#toji x reader#toji smut#toji x you#toji zenin#fushiguro toji#jjk headcanons
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Dark wonbin who wants his younger brother's gf or wife. He saw his chance one day and didn't let go of the opportunity
[ Have it all ]
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Trigger warning: cheating, loser Sohee, slight degradation, blowjob.
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"Thank you, you are always so sweet. My doll." He thanked, his gaze sweeping over every inch of your body. You smiled, attempting to push aside the uncomfortable feeling; he is your boyfriend's older brother, for goodness sake; of course, you are like a child to him, which is why he called you his doll in an endearing way, right?
"Where are you going?" He inquired as he set his plate aside after finishing the pasta you prepared for him. You gave him a quick glance as you noticed how close he leaned to you. "Out with sohee" you replied, you had a date planned with sohee who was currently upstairs playing video games while you were here left alone with his older brother.
Wonbin let out a sigh that dripped with fake concern, finishing it off with a chuckle that sounded more like a smirk. "Seriously, you're like an angel,doll" he drawled, voice smooth as butter. "Always picking up his slack, cooking fancy meals he probably doesn't even appreciate, and cheering him on like his personal hype squad when he gets owned in his games. Makes me kinda, y'know, sad for you, sweets." He clicked his tongue and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear in a way that felt more practiced than sweet.
"Don't you deserve better?" His question hung in the air like a loaded question. You gulped, the truth of his words burning a hole in your stomach. He wasn't wrong. You were more like Sohee's mom than his girlfriend, his therapist instead of his partner and sexual pleasure? It was something you never got from Sohee. It was embarrassing to even try having sex with him because he knew nothing, it was pathetic to say the least but you still love him and Sohee loved you, in his own kinda immature way, and sex isn't the only thing which matters right? You can definitely swallow down your frustrations.
"I'll leave now." You tried to sprint upstairs but he held your wrist ''Always so eager to escape, doll'' he drawled, amusement dancing in his eyes. ''Shying away and flushing whenever I'm near... wouldn't anyone mistake it for something more, hmm?'' you were momentarily shook at his audacity before you snapped back, giving him a venomous look "The only one with such delusions is you." Your words caused him to let out a chuckle as he was about to reply, Sohee came downstairs causing you to yank out your wrist from wonbin's grip.
"Baby, I won!" Sohee bounced on the couch, the screen of his phone flashing victory like a miniature lightning storm. You managed a tight smile, your mind churning with the unsettling encounter moments ago. Should you tell him about Wonbin's strange behaviour? Would he believe you? or shrug it off since sohee idolized his handsome brother the most, he always wanted to be like Wonbin. Talking about how he has everyone wrapped around his fingers, no one could ever deny him. He was all it.
"Oh, are we going somewhere?" Sohee asked noticing you dolled up, tilting his head, his eyes sparkling playfully. Your blank stare momentarily dimmed his enthusiasm, but he quickly countered with a wider smile "I guess we are. let me just grab my wallet baby!" Sohee chirped, already bounding up the stairs. His carefree laughter echoed down, each step lighter than a dandelion seed on a summer breeze
Your attention was brought back to Wonbin who let out a mocking chuckle leaning closer to you ear, "Think about what I said," he'd murmured, his breath warm against your ear, sending shivers down your spine. The glint in his eyes, usually full of pride, had held a chilling possessiveness, a stark contrast to his easygoing facade. It was an audacity born of privilege, of a world where his handsome face had always opened doors, the mere flicker of attention from you, his "loser" brother's chosen one, a personal affront to his inflated ego. How dare you look beyond his carefully crafted charm? He deserves to use you for his pleasure not his pathetic brother who can't even get himself to cum.
The entire date with sohee was silencing from your side, you spent most of the time replaying the scenes between you and Wonbin again and again. His sly touches, his longing gazes always did fluster you but you have never thought about having him. He is your boyfriend's brother after all. This was ridiculous of you to even think. He made you uncomfortable and uneasy, that's it.
When you were back from the date, sohee dropped you first at his home, saying he will be back in few minutes as he has some errands to run. You agreed hoping Wonbin isn't in the home currently but you were wrong when you were met with most weird sight ever, he was there sitting on the couch manspreading, his hands pumping his cock furiously as he let out soft moans. The sight had you gasping which caught his attention.
"Back from your little playdate baby?" He asked between his moans. "What the fuck!" You cursed out ready to run out and expose his behaviour to Sohee but instead of that you stood there watching, your feet refusing to move. Why weren't you running? "Come on doll, we all know my brother doesn't deserve you. I know it all."
"He can't even get you to cum, that sweet little pussy of yours deserves to be pleasured, by someone like me." His words had your eyes widened. How did he even know about your private sex life? Did Sohee tell him? Wonbin chuckled at your shocked expression, his hands still jerking off his cock "I know everything baby, let me give you the pleasure which he can never give you." You were supposed to agree or walk up to him but the way your deepest desires took over you. You found yourself on your knees in front of him, his cock deep in your mouth as he let out the nastiest and toe curling moans ever. Pulling on your hair he murmured, "So good, f-fuck. I'll give you twice as much pleasure baby" you rubbed your thighs together to find some relief which didn't go unnoticed by Wonbin who let out a chuckle at your desperation.
"You look so pretty doll, when you are not using your bitchy mouth to defend that little boyfriend of yours, your delicate hands look so pretty wrapped around my cock. I always knew you were a little slut inside, what will Sohee think? Have him watch us? Teach him one or two things, yeah?" His words caused to whimper on his cock as you felt your cheeks flush in humiliation. Wonbin gave a devilish grin feeling satisfied that he tore your walls down, he knew it, everyone deserves some good fucking and you were no better, After all who could ever deny him? He is the one with everything his brother lacks. He knew you were just pretending to be loyal to his loser brother, pretending to just love him, when he could not even pleasure your little pussy. Speaking of him-
"H-Hyung?"
#riize smut#dark riize#kpop smut#riize x reader#riize wonbin smut#wonbin smut#wonbin x reader#riize wonbin#riize wonbin x reader#tw cheating
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pls can you do a part 2 for the red flags of bllk characters!! it was so good!
࿐*ೃ sure!! i actually plan to do for more characters in part 3 so characters suggestion is highly encouraged! (4 CHARACTERS MAXIMUM)
“HIS RED FLAGS” - PART 2 - what does he do that make him an obvious red flag?
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╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ headcanon
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࿐*ೃ feat : reo mikage, seishiro nagi, oliver aiku, rin itoshi
࿐*ೃ fandom : blue lock
࿐*ೃ extra : gn! reader, angst.
࿐*ೃ trigger warning : cheating, manipulation, profanities, toxic relationship.
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REO MIKAGE
╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ Reo would be the best, most perfect partner ever if only he believes that not everything can be resolved through his wealth. He loves you, he does but you're never his priority. All he cares about is his football career. He barely has time for you, often spending time with Seishiro to practice soccer together until dusk nearly everyday. When you tell him about your worries, you expect him to take action and finally considers to mend the relationship again. But he never. He just gives you tons of money and tells you to have fun by yourself to cheer you up. When you insist him to spend quality time with you, he harshly rejects you by saying he is busy. Indeed, he is busy. He is busy being Seishiro's servant and prioritizing his happiness more than yours.
“Sorry, Y/n. Not today. I have practice.”
“I told you, I don't have the leisure time to play around. I need to practice soccer!”
“Just take this money and enjoy yourself. Leave me alone and never speak about this matter ever again.”
SEISHIRO NAGI
╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ Seishiro...is lazy, in general and in all ways. Relationship is a hassle for him to handle due to his lazy nature. He never make an effort to spice up nor mending his relationship with you. If it happens, it happens. That's his motto, one that he never fail to hold onto. Seishiro basically doesn't even care about you let alone your feelings for him in the slightest bit. He is solely using your vulnerability to his advantage. In all honesty, he only engages in relationship with you because he thinks you would be useful to assist him with his daily needs. You're a gullible person who simply follows all his orders like a servant, only thinking you only do this out of love and casting aside the fact you're being manipulated by your own boyfriend. He asks for breakfast? You make one for him. He tells you to wash all his clothes while he play games? You gladly do so. This goes on for a while until you realize how wrong this is and confronts Seishiro about it. The result, he never give a flying fuck. Instead, Seishiro manipulates you into thinking this is your own fault and makes you feel much worse.
“So...what's your point actually? You're blaming me over your own stupidity?”
“You're really dumb, Y/n. So dumb that it took you this long to notice.”
“Apologize? I never do anything wrong. It isn't like I hit you or anything.”
OLIVER AIKU
╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ We all know what this man is capable of; cheating. From the start of the relationship, he has dropped countless obvious hints. During date, you will always find his eyes lingering on other people as he “admires” them with a lustful smirk on his face. When you confront him, Oliver just brushes it off and says you're overreacting. It doesn't matter how many times you scold him, he will repeat his doing. And as time passes, he straightout flirts with anyone that catches his interest right in front of you. Daring to even exchange number while his lips curves into a seductive smirk. He barely has time for you and frequently leaving the house to have fun with his “friends”, which turns out to be his secret lover, one that he has been cheating on you with for a long time.
“Jeez, you're overreacting too much. I'm just being nice to them.”
“What's wrong with getting their number? You know me, I like making new friends!”
“Come on...can you just be open-minded and let me do anything I want? I can date anyone I want besides you. You have no control over my life.”
RIN ITOSHI
╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ You and Rin were like dream lovers, perfect for each other and completed each other's heart. That's it, until the dispute between Rin and his older brother happened that drastically changed him...and his relationship with you. Rin is not as sweet and as caring he used to be, solely focusing on his goal to surpass and beat his older brother in their unhealthy rivalry. He has become more distant and acts colder toward you. There is no spark of joy in the relationship anymore, with Rin drifting apart from you and you hurting from his cold-hearted treatment. You try to be there for him, supporting him in his journey to be the best striker to prove to his older brother but your efforts are often overlooked and left unappreciated by Rin. In fact, he sees you as a nuisance rather than his biggest supporter.
“I don't have time for you. Screw off, (Y/n).”
“You interrupted my practice to tell me to fucking rest? Are you telling me to laze around?”
“From now on, stop visiting me during practice. You are a fucking nuisance.”
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࿐*ೃ thanks for reading this headcanon! likes and reblogs are deeply appreciated ♡
#blue lock fandom#blue lock x reader#blue lock x y/n#headcanon#blue lock headcanons#gender neutral reader#blue lock angst#angst headcanons#bllk x reader#bllk#sae x you#blue lock x you#toxic relationship#red flags#rin itoshi#oliver aiku#reo mikage#seishiro nagi#rin x you#bllk rin#bllk aiku#bllk nagi#bllk reo#nagi x you#aiku x you#reo x you
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married to eddie fender
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pairing: eddie fender x gn!reader
tags: wholesome fluff, established romantic relationship, reader has a happy family life, eddie is a family man, marriage/proposal
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eddie is absolutely the type of guy who loves to talk about his partner and brag about them!
he has countless pictures of you on his phone, ready to start talking about his spouse the second someone asks!
eddie is very loyal and he would never dare cheat on you or even look in the direction of another wo/man!
he's very fixated on his partner and once he's dating you, he can't even find other people attractive anymore!
he could look at a model, but they'd be nothing compared to you! he just doesn't think anyone prettier than you exists!
eddie also LOVES your family! he's a family man and not only does he want to start a big, happy family with you, but he also adores your family!
he's super close to your father and often hangs out with him, leading to you teasing eddie about only marrying you to spend more time with your dad!
he's also very respectful towards your mother, always bringing flowers and gifts for her when he visits her! and your cousins or nieces and nephews love him too!
honestly, it was your family that pushed the two of you towards marriage! not that eddie wouldn't have wanted to marry you anyways, but having their approval made him propose to you!
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#eddie fender x reader#eddie x reader#fender x reader#raymond shield x reader#eddie fender#eddie#fender#raymond shield#x reader#x you#x y/n#x gn reader#ace attorney investigations#ace attorney investigations x reader#ace attorney x reader#ace attorney#aai#aai x reader#aai2#aai2 x reader#ace attorney investigations 2#dating#fluff#marriage#married#headcanons
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some Phil info! 💼
is of sicilian descent on his father’s side
wanted to become a lawyer since middle school when he used to watch every single episode of a tv show about court cases, the real work turned out to be not always as exciting and smooth, but he really loves his job
prefers to go through the discomfort of telling the truth rather than make up lies and try to remember them
wakes up at 5am to jog before work and eats very healthy breakfasts
boring and has no sense of humor
hates to be the target of even the most innocent jokes and friendly roasting
explains everything in huge lengths
can be a real wet blanket over any childish fun you want to have, saying that you both are adult people if you want to ride a ferris wheel, telling you to stop because people look at you when you stick out your tongue to catch snowflakes on a street
he really, really needs to loosen up and start taking himself less seriously and having fun
his biggest fear is to be seen in any embarrassing, disgraceful situation
how people see him is way too important to him, he needs to be acknowledged as a person who always gives his 100% in everything
will never ghost a person he wants to break up with, if he thinks you won’t work out, he’ll properly tell you that, over a personal meeting if you’re far enough into dating, he's not afraid to face you and thinks you at least deserve a proper closure
will never cheat in relationship, he just doesn’t understand why would anyone
if you say you’re sick, he’ll be at your door with meds and apples (and an extensive essay on how to get better faster)
very decent in bed, what he lacks in technique and variety, he makes up for in putting a lot of effort and putting partner’s pleasure first
sleeps naked
has a lot of moles on his body
has no idea what’s his astro sign is (but his birthday is october 13th)
a proper gentleman, will hold the door for you, move a chair for you, help you put on your coat
knows how to put his dirty dishes in a dishwasher and his dirty socks in washing machine and take out the trash
doesn't think that there are men's and women's household tasks, if it's his home, he'll take part in keeping it clean
loves how he looks and feels in formal clothes, has an assortment of suits
wears socks garters
normally refrains from public displays of affection, but when he’s drunk, he becomes more physically affectionate, will pull you closer, rest his head on your shoulder if he’s being daring, kiss your palm
his face gets very red when he’s drunk, he also becomes louder, laughs a lot, then he laughs really loudly and immediately gets embarrassed
easily blushes when he’s angry or feels wronged and hurt, tries to keep his cool and not let it get to him, but his ears are red and cheeks are blotched red, he hates when it happens because it feels like he’s a little boy again
but when it didn't get to him personally, he can maintain a very good pokerface
not a gambling person, prefers a small but guaranteed win over a risky bet with a possibility of losing
has an exceptional memory, which is both good and bad, because it really helps in his work but he can also hold a grudge for a long time
he absolutely needs to be credited for his efforts and would be offended if you won't mention his part, but he also doesn't forget to credit others for their efforts and help
if you’re stuck and ask him for help, he attacks the problem like it’s his own
he adapts well and is fast to think up alternatives
working harder is his coping mechanism
(Phil sim was made by @puppycheesecake)
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I'm new to the JJK fandom, and after one month of interacting with the fandom, I noticed that many view Gojo as a womanizer. I believe it to be false.
Maybe it's because of that one time Gege commented that he doesn't see Gojo being faithful to a woman (that man looks like a twink, so I don't blame you, Akutami). Nonetheless, I do not believe it means that Gojo is a playboy/ fuckboy.Let me tell you: while Gojo got the looks, it does not change the fact that he got no hoes He's a hoe repellent no matter the gender.
He is that type of guy that is really handsome, but the moment he opens his mouth, your perception of him changes so much that you would find Deadpool's left ass cheek more attractive. Hell, even Toji's worm. My dude is annoying as hell. He is rude, tactless, and privileged. Add to that the fact that he might also have mommy and daddy issues because I'm sure he was not treated like a normal kid (but that is another discussion for another time).
Gojo might also have a lot of trust issues combined to the fact that he tends to isolate himself by not letting himself get too close to others. Like this guy is the strongest sorcerer, and his birth caused a shift in the Jujutsu world. Since his birth, people have been trying to kill him. Even the higher up in Jujutsu, see him as a nuisance and are waiting for the opportunity to do him dirty and you to tell me that he doesn't have trust issues? He has infinity on all the time, to the point that he does that subconsciously, and you want to tell me that he's gonna drop that just to get laid? So that he can get a cursed technique aimed right at his balls?
And even if he is a playboy in the sense that it's not sexual and it's just emotional cheating. The dude feels like no one can relate to him. No one understands what it's like to be at the top, to be the strongest. So what would be the point?
I like Gojo, but in real life, being in a relationship with this man means you'll probably be his therapist because I know this guy has a lot of issues. At least he got money, so you'll be compensated I guess?
I'm rambling a lot, and it's not structured, but I also do not want to write a whole essay in your ask box.
In conclusion: It must be the cash cause it ain't your personality or whatever Beyoncé said.
What do you think?
When I tell you that "womanizer Gojo" is one of the characterizations I hate that some of the fandom has given him I HATE IT.
This is why we take the time to reread something and better understand it because in what world does a womanizing Gojo fits? Especially, in canon when it would be hard to maintain a romantic relationship given the risks Jujutsu sorcerers take? And with the description you gave are other reasons why Gojo wouldn't have a significant other.
Let's be honest, if there was one person who could handle Gojo it was Geto. This isn't me saying this as a shipper, but just stating a fact.
Like, if he would have a romantic partner, it would have him. Shoko's their friend, yes. But that is the most that she sees herself as. Chapter 220, she states hell would freeze over before she falls for any of those two. She's aware of the flaws they both have, but that doesn't she didn't want to be there for them.
One thing I like about Gojo is that despite the reputation he has as a sorcerer, he got his flaws that make him human. Just me, but I don't see the point of adding more flaws to him if I like him already as he is. Like, come on. Just make an OC, at this point.
I know sometimes canon can suck, but fanon? Is worse sometimes.
It's like how some people will depict Yuji drinking and eating anything because "Oh, he's a total dumbass".
I hate that. Yes, Yuji states he's dumb, but he has displayed he does have intelligence and sometimes even he ain't with the bullshit with others. When he said he'll eat anything, it was more on the lines of "I'll eat a cursed object to save people" not "I'll drink gasoline because I was dared to".
Like, damn, he ain't that careless! He ain't that stupid! (Just giving him the Kaminari treatment, huh?)
Just... I wish more people actually stop and think about what they're reading instead of running with it and going with a depiction that others say is "canon" (it's not) or "better than canon". Especially, with a media that isn't from your native country.
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How would the Zoldyck family feel about seeing Future Killua, y'know future Killua is all powerful and all but they also see with KIDS and his wife, but his wife is powerful like POWERFUL POWERFUL, and so are his kids but Killua and his wife don't agree on the kids being assassin's. And the kids don't want to be either. But despite all that, they're like a powerful family that can't be touched. How would the zoldycks react to this? Like headcanons of each Zoldycks reaction😳
This was so goofy for me to write, I hope you enjoy! Sorry if it's not exactly what you wanted, but I think it covers the vague scenario at least.
Kikyo
Kikyo absolutely adores Killua, in her own way, so the fact he'd even dare to get married without letting her know or vet her daughter-in-law would break her. Finding out he had a kid, let alone multiple? She'd keel over like a goat.
Illumi
On the topic of Killua getting married, Illumi's hurt he wasn't invited, but otherwise he wouldn't exactly care. He's not controlling anymore. Killua has made his boundaries clear, Illumi's a good brother, and he respects that. Plus, if Killua gets married, the pressure on Illumi to carry on the lineage goes away! So, he's happy for Killua. He's fine. He's happy he found a loving partner. And has children who won't become assassins. He is. So happy for his baby brother.
Milluki
Unlike Illumi, I don't think Milluki would honestly give a single crap beyond agreeing with his mother for praise. His only hat in this fight is being pissy Killua's family can't be drug into the fold, his kids won't be up for inhumane torture, and his wife is 'ugly'. But, of course, Killua's marriage and his spouse being trash will not spare her Milluki sliding into the dms to try and get nudes and then call her names for not cheating. A fact sure to become fodder for Kikyo
Kalluto
Kalluto is fairly young, so their main concern would be the jealousy. They'd hate that Killua's kids won't become assassins, won't go through that training, and won't be around to play with them because Killua would murder his family if they tried. Other than that, like Milluki, they'd only really agree with Kikyo for acceptance and to not annoy her. Kalluto doesn't strike me as being particularly controlling yet, they just do as they're told.
Alluka
Alluka would get to visit her nieces or nephews, and she'd adore Killua's family. So long as he's still sure he loves her, Alluka is honestly and truly happy for him. She'd want to grant his family wishes, but Killua would probably dissuade that due to the cost, but he'd appreciate it and that would also make her happy.
Silva
Silva would be moreso pissed that Killua would not let his family near the Zoldycks, and would make sure they had no chance to break in or anything extreme. Then you add onto that disrespect of getting no notification of the wedding, let alone childbirth, and Silva is pissed. He only wants what's best for his family, and Killua is supposed to be the next head of the house, so he needs to integrate his wife and kids into the family business, he needs to quit being so hostile to them. But, of course, he'd try to keep his emotions level. There'd be no point in worsening their chances of reconciliation. Plus, despite how infuriating it would be, there's a shred of pride in Killua getting himself to a point where even the Zoldycks can't get him.
Zeno
Zeno is by far the most amused out of the group. Killua went off and got married and had kids without them knowing? Impressive, if a bit upsetting that he cut them out so much. And, he got himself to such a point that they can't retaliate or kidnap the kids? Another impressive feat! Good for Killua for managing that. In all, Zeno seems like he's too old to exactly care about the lineage. Silva's got other kids, it's above Zeno's pay grade to angst over Killua not wanting his kids to become assassins like he did. Zeno's more interested in the war he started when he got out of the zoldyck's reach.
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She covered it up when they broke up 6 years ago and still has his name there. Talk about not having moved on still after so many years. She didn't even have a boyfriend yet. It looks like Taylor waits for another chance with Alex. Keeps hinting him, keeps showing herself crying, keeps posting shade on Louise when she ever dares to post Alex. She fixed the SDTN tattoo after it started fading when they broke up. It's like she's fresh again thinking about fighting for Alex. I mean she's in LA the place she hates and keeps going to places they went together.
// She covered it up though, unlike a certain someone👀
No, I don't think she wants to get back with Alex. She looks totally fine without him. She covered up his name with a fucking tomb, that's quite the sign that she doesn't want him back. And why would she remove her SDTN tattoo? That's her song, he dedicated it to her.
She has said multiple times that she hasn't had a boyfriend because she can't find connection with anyone. And it's completely normal, especially given the fact that she was cheated on, it's not easy to find a partner after you experienced such a heartbreak. She needed time to heal.
And we really don't know what the reason of her crying is. Can't a woman just feel low sometimes? (Although I don't understand why would you want to post your crying face, but Taylor has always been like that 🤷🏻♀️)
As for shading Louise, uh, Taylor has every right to shade her. The bitch was sleeping with her boyfriend behind her back and then dared to post about it, and still dares to mock Taylor by posting those cups from LA house (that Taylor was posting drinking from them), copying her (that bathroom mirror selfie when she was wearing exactly the same white top and green shorts as Taylor). Louise was lucky Taylor didn't come up to her and slap her across her face. I would do it if I were her lol
Why shouldn't she go to places in LA where she used to go when she was with Alex? She probably likes those places and is healed enough not to associate them with Alex anymore. Or maybe she likes to remember them spending time there together? Happy memories with your ex do exist,you know. Do you not visit the places where you were with your ex?
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GMMTV 2025 Line Up Trailer Rating / Reaction Part I
Or at least the ones I see on the main channel because frankly, I am dedicated enough to really go looking. 🤷
Dare You to Death - Oooh a bunch of rich kids being stupid. We love to see it (and i mean that). Oooh I kind of like that Dunk is the one playing the hardass here. I also really like that it seem a little grittier for JoongDunk than I'm used to. Love this new era for them. Watching.
Head 2 Head - ah it's the Only Boo dudes. I really should get on finishing that one. It was a bit too sweetie sweet for me at the time. I think I like their dynamic a little more here. I see that they're covering the Bad Buddy and the 2Gether tropes. The future thing is newish. On the fence.
Burnout Syndrome - THIS THUMBNAIL what. Gun as an escort? Off hiring him to impersonate him? So this was the Nuchy show then huh? I guess we should have known. LETTING GUN KISS SOMEONE ELSE???? WHAT. I mean I'd be in just for that, I won't lie. My problem is that I...don't really like OffGun. I don't know why they just don't hit for me like they do for everyone else. And the two things I was actually really into with them (Not Me and The Trainee) were way less focused on the relationship than other things. But I do love Nuchy...damn. Tentatively watching.
I Love "A Lot of" You - Nanon's return. LOL oh my gosh is he going to try to make this woman fall in love with him as five different people? pffft. I can't. What even. And you know I like Nanon well enough but also not watching.
Whale Store - ah yes, the sweet MilkLove GL we all knew was coming. Not complaining. Ooh and a bitter exes that still love each other side couple. Is Piploy gonna get a taste of being the one pining? Interesting. Look. I'm gonna be honest. I love these two I was gonna watch regardless. So of course, I'm watching.
Only Friends: Dream On - I can't believe I got my OF wish. There are people who can attest to the fact that I said I'd only ever watch a s2 of OF if they made it a new cast (or an ep of Our Skyy where they switched up who played who - like Book playing Boston, Neo playing Ray, etc). I genuinely assumed that when (I did think it was when) we got an OF s2 we'd just get the same cast with a tired cheating plot (my money was on Ray cheating this time) but I'm so happy to be wrong. Ohm and Earth playing brothers is actually great. And here we are with another bitter exes that are still hung up on each other story lol. That seems to be the theme of this show. Genuinely surprised that both OhmLeng and JossGawin are paired up again, that would have been on zero bingo cards (maybe OhmLeng but never JossGawin tbh). The Boston cameo had me cackling. Of course he's present when the chaos really starts chaosing. My little gremlin. Watching.
That Summer - the WinnySatang vehicle huh? They did win me over in We Are. Satang as a prince??? DYING why is that so funny. I mean if anyone can do the spoiled rotten but also sweet - MOND??? HIIIII okay I'm in. And ah, Neo and Mint. People predicted this and they were right. I wonder if he's forever banned from BL now. I mean if he doesn't want to that's fine, too. This is giving Overboard vibes. Except in this case the amnesiac might not be one at all. And thankfully I'm not attached enough to any of the actors to get annoyed when Jojo inevitably plays favorites. Probably watching.
Romance Scammer - Oh hey it's the other Ohm. He's so pretty but also I find him very wooden. I do hope that this partner of his helps. And I have liked the other two since Midnight Museum so. And of course a wild Title appears. We'll see. Depends on what else is on tbh. On the fence.
Melody of Secrets - ForceBook. JAN. BOUN. Okay I liked this anyway because I dig the vibe but that sealed it. Yes I am that easy. Shut up. Watching.
Love you Teacher - I love both Perth and Santa but this does not appear to be for me. Not watching.
Continued in part II because tumblr has a character limit and I don't know how to shut up.
#gmmtv 2025#dare you to death#head to head#burnout syndrome#i love a lot of you#whale store#only friends dream on#that summer#romance scammer#melody of secrets#love you teacher#ramblings and rankings
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,,I am gay."
Seriously?"
"Fuck Arthur."
I turned around and he was standing behind me, frozen, I thought he was imagining it.
“Then why the hell did you and my girlfriend get into the news?"
"Oh, fuck you Magui, I didn't know you're your girlfriend, we were talking here not long ago, my outfit excited her."
I bit my lip. I felt like giving him a little lecture about how my car broke down and how I'm stuck here and I have to go to the service and they can go with the other one.
"Charlie said that you had to take your car to the service center, it's a bad case... I can sense that my car is there too."
,,Shit... Please disappear!!!! My ex Ollie is here… I'm pregnant by him.”
"No, go to your boyfriend and talk about it, it's not my job to break up with him, that you're pregnant."
He pushed me forward, but I took a few steps in fear, I took a few breaths, thinking I can do it, I can do it...
,,Okay, there..."
Looking stupidly at the camera, but in the meantime I continued to try to cover my little belly, I grimaced and actually returned all it was only visible when I was sitting or my forearm was under my chest, even then it was usual where and which place in a restaurant to give so much food that I picked up a few pieces of food and they told me this not in the good sense of the word, I kept disappearing from their sight so that they would leave me alone with this if it was found out that I'm pregnant and boy the scandal will break out and I'd fucking avoid it.
"I only know what my partner said, Lando?"
"Loki isn't good now, everyone has been coming to the restaurant for a while, you know that's not true, right?"
"Of course I know you're pregnant and it looks good on you."
,,Who is he?"
"Nemo became a VIP guest the day before yesterday or I don't know, he won Eurovizo a few days ago."
I saw that he had a red code, I pulled him aside, I didn't want him to have a fit of jealousy, I was talking to a handsome boy with black hair again from yesterday, and he ran away sobbing and yelled at me for twenty minutes that I dare to cheat on him, then he went somewhere sobbing, telling me that I'm an asshole and that I'll date every other handsome guy whomever you see.
"I won't get together with him either and it's not planned. Calm down, please."
"Right now, it's not about that, it's about the fact that everyone believes in a fool!!!"
"But you're bloated, but you're my handsome, beautiful, pregnant, betrothed boyfriend."
A faint smile appeared on his face, then he gracefully ran his fingers along my face playfully, then he again whispered something sexy and chilling in my ear and dragged me into his apartment.
“Condoms”
,,Really fuck!!!! Although Lando doesn't play a role here..."
He smiled cheekily at me while caressing me sexily under my top.
"Oliver, is he your younger brother?"
“I don't see anywhere that he said we'll meet here and says something about someone's pregnancy and that someone in the field is gay."
,,I don't know, these ohh Loliks are coming from his room, but he will be there."
We opened the door and tried to have sex with another boy, that is to say, a guy, he was older than us, and the shit was in us.
"Lando, are you gay???"
"This is the question of the year, Pierrie!!!!"
He sat up with a pillow on his stomach and stuck out his tongue at us.
"You have nothing to do with this, you bastard!!! Who I go out with and who I sleep with gets my fucking pussy!!!"
"It has something to do with it!!! I quote, I'll tell him who's hot and fit in the field."
"It has nothing to do with it, yes, maybe my family, and Oscar, Alex, Charles and his brother know that I'm gay, but I won't tell anyone like him!!!"
"Jesus, Lando, you just told me you're gay, you crazy animal!!!"
"Shut up, it has nothing to do with you being pregnant!!!!"
"Well, I can't stand a pregnant gay, it's a lot and even idiotic, sorry for being an idiot, but he was now a man."
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Storming past me with an angry face, Lando turned on the kettle, that's how I saw it on my mobile phone because that was all my friend could do, the naked Lando.
"Get dressed now."
"Not until everyone here is a dick."
"Shit? Since you've been pregnant, your mind has gone, not your body."
"Shut the fuck up, I'm serious."
"Nothing went wrong, my dear, I'm perfect."
"I think Loki says that every time you see him with a boy, you get jealous, it's not natural, good ASD, there's a reason, but don't do that."
"You know what, girl, fuck you!!!"
"Damn the whole world!!!"
,,Get dressed!!!!"
I scream back at Oscar, his girlfriend and mine at the crazy Lando, but we burst out laughing and even Oscar took it all in.
"George, I'm going to put this on the internet, it's brilliant, Lando Norris has a nervous breakdown when she's pregnant."
"Don't exaggerate."
"I don't think it's funnier after Miami."
,,If you say so."
"Okay, I'll do it... Lando goes for one, two and three!!!"
,,Oscaaaar!!!!! If you do this in Imlola too!!!!!! George will you leave it?”
I shrugged my shoulders and chuckled at this and told Oscar to calmly continue the work he had started because it would be really funny.
"Damned scumbags, drag me away from here!!!"
#fanfic#lando norris#gay couple#loki#osc#lgbtq#f1 fanfic#transgender#intersex#pregnant#pregnancy#cutie pie#gayboy#mclaren f1#biseuxal#gay#family#eurovison song contest#eurovision 2024#switzerland#oliver bearman#nemo#arthur leclerc#george russell#pierre gasly#ria talks#sunset savanna#coming out#zak brown#prose
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Ophelia can't sleep. She lays in bed because she has no idea what else to do.
Xander and Hilary should be back by now. Surely, Hector's told them some lie about what happened, that she tried to come onto him and he fired her as a result.
Ophelia's phone pings. She can't look.
Ophelia picks at a plate of leftovers and stares at the photo across from her dining table.
Xander will never want to speak to her again. Her bandmates will hate her for "betraying" their friend and quitting the band.
Hector's taken everything from her.
She can't even tell anyone else because surely he'll spread lies about what happened to the public. Who's the world going to believe? Hector has credibility and, like he said, she's just some dumb floozy.
Ophelia's too tired to defend herself to anyone, let alone everyone.
Her phone buzzes but she can't bare to look. Maybe it's Hilary wanting to cuss her out for trying to "seduce" her husband or whatever Hector claims. Maybe it's Xander telling her they're done.
Ophelia feels like she's drowning. It's easier to just swim down than back up.
Ophelia's whole career was a lie. Hector didn't care about her talent, he just wanted to use her as his little play thing, and now she's never going to perform again.
Ophelia's always been able to bounce back no matter what. She doesn't think she can pull it off this time.
At the Pappas manor, Xander's finally gotten Greta and Jace calmed down enough that they can distract themselves with some mindless TV.
Hilary's not answering his calls or texts so he still has no idea why she wouldn't let them into the Laurent home, but he has his suspicions.
Xander texted Ophelia a couple of times and left a voice mail telling her what's happening, as much as he knows anyway, but no response. He hasn't heard from her since her goodnight text. It's unusual but he has to be there for the kids. She'll understand why he hasn't come over.
Xander sends his girlfriend one last text before realizing Hilary has arrived.
He goes to badger her, but before he can, Hilary practically collapses, sobbing into his shoulder. All Xander can think to do is hold her, like all the times she held him while he cried as a kid.
Xander has only seen his sister cry a handful of times, including at their parents' funeral the other day. Whatever she saw had to have been devastating.
Xander: Hilary, I need you to tell me what happened so I can help.
Hilary: I wish it was that simple, Alexander.
Hilary: Hector… I-I walked in on him trying to… he was…
There's only one thing he could have been doing to get this reaction out of her. Xander knew they were fighting, but Hector had always been such a nice guy. He never thought he'd cheat on Hilary.
Xander: Oh Watcher. He didn't. It was Tiff, wasn't it?
Fresh tears prickle Hilary's eyes. It was bad enough what Hector did to her, why did her baby brother have to be involved?
Hilary: Hector… was trying to coerce Ophelia into sleeping with him.
Xander literally can't believe that.
Xander: No. N-No, she wouldn't-
Hilary: She didn't. She rejected him, even when he threatened to get her blacklisted. At least one of us has a loyal partner.
Hilary hopes that doesn't sound bitter. She's so glad Ophelia stood her ground.
Xander: That bastard. I'm gonna beat his ass the next time I see him.
Hilary: I heard Ophelia slap him. Sounded like a good one, too. I tried to call her and make sure she was okay but she's ghosting me. She probably presumes Hector fed me some crap that makes her the villain.
Xander: She hasn't been answering me either.
Hilary: She didn't know I was there, listening. I feel like such a coward. I should have stopped him, but I couldn't move.
Xander: Don't you dare blame yourself. Hector's the asshole here, not you. You must have been in shock.
Hilary: Our parents dying, walking in and hearing all that… It felt like I had to have been imagining it, it was just too much all at once. But no, it was real. I just stood by while Hector tried to take advantage of a woman half his age. I've never felt so pathetic in my life.
Hilary: I… I'm leaving him. There's no going back after this. I didn't use the word 'divorce' but Hector got the gist. We still need to settle quite a few things though. That's going to be fun.
Xander: I'm so sorry.
Hilary: I'm sorry this affected you and Ophelia too.
Hilary: I don't know what to tell the kids. They're smart, they know something is up. I don't even think I can tell them the full story. It's too adult for Jace, but Greta… He did something unforgivable but he's always been a wonderful father. I don't want them to lose him too.
Xander: I'm not going to tell you what to do, they're your kids. Maybe be as honest as you can with Jace, given how young she is, but Greta's not going to accept a llamashit explanation, that might make things worse.
Hilary. That's fair… Go on, go talk to Ophelia.
Xander: Hil, you shouldn't be alone right now. The past few days have been hell, and now this?
Hilary: I can handle myself. Go to Ophelia.
Xander: I'll go as soon as can but for now, I'll ask Drew or Moses to check on her. Ophelia will understand once she knows the whole story.
Hilary: Alexander-
Xander: No, don't Alexander me. I'm gonna see Ophelia, but the band can help her for now. Right now, you need someone to help you out too. You can shower and take a minute to breathe, I'll cook Greta and Jace some lunch, keep distracting them.
Xander: I'm calling Drew. Can I tell them what happened so they know how to help Ophelia?
Hilary feels silly for wanting her baby brother around for support, but other than her kids, he's the last family she's got, and she really needs family right now.
Hilary: Yes. Thank you.
Drew and Moses showed up for their usual yoga class. They knew Xander was probably too exhausted from his travels, but where was Ophelia?
Moses: Maybe she stayed with him and forgot to tell us? Oh wait, she messaged the group chat.
Moses: That’s odd. These messages are from last night at like, 1 AM. I was exhausted last night, I'd conked out by then.
Drew: Guess I forgot to take my phone off silent. I didn't see these.
Drew checks the group chat for themself.
Drew: “Where are you? What's taking so long?” We didn’t have plans last night.
They get another notification. This time, it’s from Hector. He usually emails them about upcoming weddings they’re playing, but this one is different.
Moses: “As of last night, Ophelia Lemon is no longer a member of Let Them Eat Cake?”
Drew: This has to be some kind of joke. She wouldn’t do that, not without telling us.
Moses’ first instinct is to call the woman in question. She doesn’t pick up. Not one of the five times.
Moses: Damn it, she’s not answering. I can’t think of anything we did to piss her off.
Drew: Even if we did, Ophelia isn't the kind of person to quit without saying anything because her bandmates pissed her off. She's too damn determined to quit so easily.
Drew gets a call and, while they’re disappointed it’s not Ophelia, Xander’s their next bet at figuring this out.
They greet Xander but whatever he's saying shuts them up immediately. That alone concerns Moses because Drew never listens to Xander when he talks.
Moses isn’t able to get much from the call, other than seeing Drew go from confused to furious in record time.
When Drew hangs up, before Moses can even ask-
Drew: HECTOR LAURENT IS A DEAD MAN!
#The Sims#The Sims 4#The Sims 4 Legacy#The Lemon Legacy#TS4#The Sims 4 gameplay#sims 4#generation 1#ophelia#xander#hilary#jace#greta#moses#drew
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I just need to vent, sorry this'll be all over the place probably
I'm upset because of something my partner did, or rather didn't do in this case. I explain how his behaviour hurt me, what would make it better, and what we could do to prevent this from happening again. he nods and makes affirmative noises and maybe says he's sorry in the end, usually after at least 10 minutes.
half an hour later the same thing happens again, I just want to be comforted and shown that he even cares that he made me feel that way. he just stands there and says nothing. I get upset because it hurts. he says nothing. I tell him to just go to bed then because being ignored like that while he's just standing there hurts so much more. he doesn't react. I get more upset. I tell him to go, more loudly this time because I can't stand this feeling anymore. he leaves. he goes to bed, and doesn't talk to me until the next day.
and I feel like a huge fucking bitch. because everyone says 'but he's so nice, you shouldn't treat him like that or he'll leave you', 'maybe he just can't talk under pressure', 'maybe he just needs a moment to think'
it's been 10 years. 10 years of this. but it's my fault. I communicate everything so clearly, I tell him exactly what I need, I don't try to hint at shit and expect him to read my mind. I offer so many things that could help. I try to understand what made him react this way. but how am I supposed to figure it out if he doesn't talk to me.
yes he's nice, he's the sweetest and most gentle guy I've ever met, I enjoy spending time with him, I can be around him without going crazy. but when anything even remotely negative or difficult happens it's like his mind just leaves and it's just his body there. and I'm just alone.
I know the logical solution would be to just leave him, but life isn't that fucking simple. I can't work, I can barely manage to feed myself some days, he helps me a lot and I'd be lost without him. I love him, and I like him. usually, when he's not being like this. but I can't stand this anymore. it happens at least once a week, sometimes more, and sometimes he does do better and tries to talk (but it's always just the exact phrases that I used when I was explaining what's wrong, not anything that he thinks of himself).
it feels like being with a cardboard cutout when this happens. like there's just nothing there. and that makes me feel especially bad because I'm fairly sure he's neurodivergent and that's the issue but like, so am I and I know it's *my* job to work on my own issues. no one has ever offered to help me with that and I still managed to get better at dealing with difficult situations, I looked for help and resources and used them. I say what I need and what would help, and it doesn't matter.
I just don't know how to fix something that can't be fixed with words. I remember feeling the same way when my mother would scream at me even though I did nothing wrong - the words I say won't matter because they don't care/aren't listening/don't want to hear it. and that makes me feel so powerless and weak and lost, just like when I was a kid. I don't know how to fix it. all I want is to talk about things and be heard and get an honest, real reaction.
I just want to be able to talk about this with anyone. but everyone always says its my fault. I should be grateful that he's a good man and doesn't beat me or yell at me or cheat or whatever. he works, he supports me, how dare I demand anything beyond that. but don't I deserve to be treated like a person despite being too ill to work? I try so fucking hard to do better every day, I want to be better, I want to be enough.
but it's not enough, and I'm stuck, and I'll always be stuck. I want to be happy because this is so much better than I ever imagined my life would be. but I don't want just this. I want someone who really, honestly cares about me. not just someone who's used to me and would maybe feel a bit sad if I left. more than anything I just want someone who will talk to me.
I never know what he's thinking or how he's feeling because he won't tell me. he doesn't talk about anything deeper than memes or video games or a video he's watched or something. I try and try and try and he just won't open up. I know I'm just a fucking idiot for letting myself be treated like this for so long, well either that or I'm a demanding bitch who isn't happy with what she has. I don't know. maybe it's both.
it's probably both.
#yeah there's no point in posting this and I'm just a self-pitying little bitch who can't ever shut up and just deal with things#but I'm just so tired#mentally#maybe I just wanna go away#personal
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