#even izzy who he has always been on bad terms with

[jacks-wack-attack]

LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

so anyway now that we saw stede postpone his grief for ed to save his entire crew, including the people who tried to kill ed, i better not see any more "stede is a terrible captain because he doesn't care about his crew at all, he only cares about himself and his own problems" takes ever again

[sixstepsaway]

I don't get why people want to pretend Ed wasn't abusive. Why do people insist on making everything into binaries? Yes, Ed has been a victim of abuse. Yes, he has been abusive. Both things can be true. I love him because I think he's in interesting and I understand where his pain is coming from (even if I think S2 was a missed opportunity in terms of character development). But anyway, thank you for writing about this because maybe some folks genuinely don't recognize abusive trends.

I think it has a lot to do with the fandom culture of only being allowed to like "wholesome" ships.

Look at it this way: when season 1 was airing, Ed and Stede were, in fact, very wholesome. Sure, they had some moments of lesser wholesomeness, but overall they were pretty wholesome and sweet and gentle. They were sweet and finding love in middle age and it was adorable. They had a general stamp of fandom approval that they were, in fact, Wholesome And Good To Ship™.

If you look at other fandoms, you'll see a lot of times there's the Good And Acceptable Ship and then there's the Bad Ship (or ships) and the Bad Ship is always slapped with the "oh that's actually incest!" label when they've, idk, grown up together, or "oh it's abusive!" because one of them one time made a bad joke or something, or "power dynamics!" because one is 27 and one is 25 or one is short and the other is tall or whatever, and yeah sometimes the Bad Ship is actually toxic or whatever (which is not a reason to not ship and enjoy it!), but they're put in neat little boxes: Good and Bad.

And for a lot of people, those boxes keep them safe. Last year, someone who was an Izzy Hands fan got doxxed because...? They liked Izzy Hands and shipped him with... I don't know actually. Ed? Stede? It doesn't matter, all I know is they got doxxed.

The side of fandom that thinks you should only ship the Good Ship are toxic and downright dangerous. It's happened again and again in numerous fandoms and just keeps happening.

So when at the end of s1, Ed turned around and cut Izzy's toe off and fed it to him, I think a lot of people panicked because shit, now Ed was Bad too, and if he's Bad then you can't like him or relate to him or ship him with the Good guy of Stede, so what the fuck do you do?

Obvious answer: Blame Izzy. Izzy's already classed as Bad, so put all the responsibility on Izzy for Ed's darkness and then it's safe to ship Ed and Stede again and no one can call you an abuse apologist or whatever for liking them together.

(To be clear: Shipping says nothing about your real morality. This is very clear for many reasons, one of which is... spend thirty seconds watching fans of the Wholesome Ships dox people and abuse people online lol)

So they spent all this time saying Ed was just scared and lashing out, and now s2 has come along and Ed is... well, abusive, canonically.

And for most of us, that doesn't really matter. We can still enjoy Ed and Stede or Ed and Izzy, we can throw ourselves into fanworks and enjoy the show for the things we like, and we can critique the things we have issues with (my problem is not Ed being written as dark and twisty and having a villain arc, my problem is the show writing it badly, exploring it badly, and then handwaving it, because it's shitty writing) and still really enjoy the vibes we got from the show.

But for people who are scared because they spent all this time saying Izzy fans should kill themselves for liking an abuser, well... now they have a choice: either admit Ed is an abuser and admit that liking a character doesn't dictate your irl morality, nor does it say anything about you aside from what you enjoy in fiction, or excuse away his actions, insist he's just a lil meow meow and continue feeling safe in their little bubble.

In a lot of ways I can't blame people for wanting to duck and cover from it. I mean, look at the shit people get for liking characters who aren't perfect, or talking about the imperfections of characters, or just enjoying complex narratives!

But what genuinely concerns me isn't anything to do with the fiction really, it's when people look at Ed's behavior in 2x01 and 2x02 and go, "Nah he's fine," because oh, honey, no, you are making yourself so vulnerable to real life abuse. That is what worries me, which is why I answered that one ask saying Ed wasn't abusive, it felt important to point out why he is.

Anyway, that's what I think is happening here. I think people are just scared that if they admit their fave has multitudes and isn't a perfect character who never does any wrong, they'll get doxxed and abused and harassed online.

I get that.

[flirtmcgirt]

Why I hate MMFD Series 3, Circa 2015.

Ok, like I said, i randomly found this in my phone. It is extra, it is wild, it all holds up lol. It’s embarrassing, but who cares? S3 was embarrassing. It’s VERY long. Laugh, cry, mock me, fight me, enjoy yourselves. I’ll never get over it.

1. The whole series has a bleak feeling almost immediately that doesn’t let up. I don’t just mean plot, I mean color palette and vibes. It has this washed out feeling I hate.

2. I don’t side with Rae on her interview. I don’t. She didn’t take it seriously.

3. Rae wants to go to uni because..? Rae chose Bristol because..? Rae has no backup schools because..?

4. Rae says she’s happy. Cool. Why? What’s been happening? How’s treatment been going? The most elementary rule of storytelling: show, don’t tell. I feel like we got told for 2 hours, with no fill-in of the gap.

5. The end of season 2 felt like the jumping off of the beginning of something: Chloe healing emotionally, the relationship with Rae and her mom, Rae and Finn, attempts at taking therapy seriously. We spend the next 2 hours digging into NONE of these things. I’m not dumb, I know time was limited. But we needed more exposition, flashbacks, more SOMETHING. Why should I believe things are going well, especially when they’re about to collapse.

6. Flashbacks (this blows my mind): Rae shows us what we think are flashbacks talking about her happiness. They’re not-they’re flash forwards. And all of them are after Rae starts being dishonest and backsliding. That has always upset me as a viewer. We NEVER see Rae progress in this series in retrospect.

7. Why are Rae and Finn hiding major life decisions from each other?

8. Chloe’s doing well! Cool! Again, how and why?

9. Look, I was young with a boyfriend once too. I get there’s limited time between school, work, and family, and you want to spend the time you have taking off each other’s clothes at that age. But there’s no emotional intimacy here and it spits in the face of earlier seasons.

10. “I love you.” Enough said. But fine. Let’s take it at face value. Why are they not expressing themselves ? Are they happy, are they unsure around each other, are they coasting on lust? We don’t know, bc bad storytelling.

11. We’re right back to “let’s only discuss my boyfriend in terms of his looks.” Bo-ring, no growth, and not to get too explicit, but you don’t have repeated, committed sex, and not get past some of this. Embarrassing things happen, funny things, you open up emotionally and get real with yourself and each other. You’re telling me these two never made weird noises or weird faces or sweated horrifically all over each other?

12. I’ve always seen Linda as someone who cares for Rae, worries, and is observant, but often doesn’t do the best thing because of her own issues. She is out to lunch most of the series and I hated it.

13. The car crash. I hate it for so many reasons. It sucked up the plot time we needed not to make the whole series feel disjointed. It was too dramatic for me. One of the things I always loved about MMFD was it felt like a relatable show that featured teens, not necessarily a teen show. This was a teen soap stunt.

14. Rae is ostensibly happy when she gets her acceptance. Why does she immediately discard the idea? Why no inner dialogue about her actual desires?

15. KESTER. We’ve said it all. Kester telling her what to do instead of working through her feelings? Irresponsible. Lying? Irresponsible. Not properly transitioning out of therapy? Irresponsible? The mental health messages were disgusting overall. Add another therapist COVERING and letting her dump her meds was even worse. Kester’s choices were all about covering his own ass, and he’s ultimately pathetic.

16. The Gang. Just so much why? Why are Izzy and Chop forced into being stupid? Why does no one give a shit about Finn? Why is everyone grappling with major life changes but only Chloe and Rae have to bear any drama. Why is Archie not in uni? Why does everyone clearly know Rae is suffering and doesn’t even try to help; more importantly they mock her? That last piece makes me legit angry.

17. I like Rae and Chloe’s friendship growth. That it came at the expense of Rae’s guilt, fear, and shame is just disappointing.

18. Finn looks..tired, even before the Katie business. He looks overwhelmed and unsure and scared, and like he’s spent two years biting his tongue. I don’t doubt for a second he loves her, but is it healthy? It didn’t look healthy, and again, why? You’re getting paid to TELL ME A STORY.

19. Rae never uses anything she learned in therapy all series.

20. No one but Rae gets a real storyline and that stinks.

21. Katie. Faye Marsay is better than this. Lost more plot time for a teenage Single White Female retread.

22. The cheating. Out of character, we never get clear resolution on what happened, and most importantly to me, it’s the main reason for a breakup that has so many other tells simmering in the background, imo. That Rae is condescending, doesn’t own up to her parts, is just. Yeah. Why should I believe this person is ok? PS-We know he bought her that “you’re the milk to my cookies” shirt, it only makes sense. Ma’am you did not act like it.

23. Katie’s entire voodoo speech burns me up because we never get confirmation Rae doesn’t internalize and/or reject this. I actually think a conversation about the ripple effect of mental health is so important, and deserved better than whatever the hell this was.

24. Rae’s whole A-level experience. She gets saved and coddled so she can go somewhere they won’t play that game with her. How does this help her or show she’s ready?

25. No chippy. Fine, whatever, but I miss it lol.

26. Everyone perving on Finn, come on, this was cringe.

27. The look Chloe gives Finn at the pub. I don’t understand it, but I don’t like it.

28. No Baby Bouchtat time, wtfffff.

29. Rae never comes to a realization we hear about why she wants uni. She gets her back against the wall because her mom has to leave and everything else is falling apart. Great.

30. Speaking of, why is Linda still at home 2(?) months after she said she wanted to leave, halfway through her husband’s contract? I thought it was so damn important.

31. Rae’s dad..more plot time wasted. I honestly barely remember this. PS-hey Rae, I bet Finn Nelson would’ve heavily related if you said your shitty dad popped back up and you were struggling.

32. It seems like Rae cuts everybody out after the ball. This is not real life. You lose touch, people fade away, sure. Over months and years, not by cutting bonds off at the knees.

33. Town only being the background to Archie’s plot was such a waste.

34. That tub scene was sickening and irresponsible as fuck. Every other mental health episode in other seasons had inner dialogue to help the audience. That they played it as straight and left the audience dangling that long was reprehensible.

35. Everyone on this show got to develop an outside life we knew about away from Rae except Finn and he deserved more.

36. The going it alone message is terrible. You always need support and love from people around you.

37. Petty, but that dress did Sharon no favors, please dress our queen properly.

38. The last song being Creep is so lyrically bleak and sums up this entire dumpster fire.

39. “The bullshit goes with me?” GOODBYE. Please.

40. The train scene: kind of nice! Reminiscing! Tix! But also weird. Why do Kester and Chloe look so serious? Why does Finn only look like he wants to fuck her? Why is Liam even there? Whatever.

Please add more lol. Or don’t, because this is out of control. I roast because I loved and knew what it was capable of once.

[witchfall]

dirt in the wound

4 - healing

[Heavensward-era. After the Ravana fight. Izzie, still coming to terms with the weight of their duties...]

It stings like a bastard, the cut on her cheek.

Pebbles and dirt grime the edges of it; the skin is splayed open from the detritus of crystal crushed under Ravana's spindly, insectoid feet. The slice had been perfectly even, a gift from his terrible blade, until her mortal body plummeted to the ground from the force of it.

The moment is slippery. Her mind doesn't want to find purchase on the pain, burning hot with aether and the taste of blood, but she'd thrown herself forward to shove Noel out of the way of his sword's arc -- and she supposes that must be the culprit for this particular injury.

There are stories for them all, but she'd be damned if she could remember them.

She is ruminating on the nature of this work when the cool touch of magic digs into the sting -- yanking out the infection, pulling together the torn skin like laces in a bodice. She gasps aloud and recoils, because that sure as hells isn't what Noel's magic feels like--

"I'm sorry. I--I apologize, I simply..."

Alphinaud's unusually stuttering voice brings her back down from the rocky climb unto panic.

She glares at him from her perch on a cold stone, because that is easy. That is the known dynamic. Fall back into it, like a dance, and prepare for his pirouette, for his haughty rejoinder about how he wouldn't need to heal her if she wasn't always like this--

He pulls back his gloved hand. His eyes, so beautiful and dark, are wide enough to form their own gravitational pull.

Her glare dies -- shocked into smoothening, her answering expression that of confusion.

"Please." His hand hovers in the air. She watches his long, delicate fingers. "I'm sorry. I normally would leave it to Noel's discretion, of course, but she is still with Ysayle--"

"Ask next time," she grumbles out. Her skin burns with heat. She doesn't know why.

It's not like he's never seen her hurt before. He has, plenty of times. Why does this time feel weird and different? Why does it feel like she did something wrong, in making him look so upset? This is her job. She did her job. She shouldn't feel bad.

"Yes, of course," he says, entirely too quickly. His relief crushes his shoulders down. "Of course, I wasn't thinking. Forgive me."

She closes her eyes as his hand hovers just over her cheek. Barely an ilm away. She could lean in and he would touch her skin -- which is a very weird thought to have. Why is she thinking about that? She shouldn't.

Maybe because, for the first time, he sounds their age instead of like the hoity-toity lordling he pretends to be around these Ishgardians. Around storied personages like the Azure Dragoon, who is pretending not to watch with amusement near a wet boulder.

She winces against the coolness of his aether, not at all like the soothing warm salt water of Noel's cure spells. He's like a river, washing the blood and grime away, eroding the crux of the world with the force of his will. The injury will fade because he demands that it shall.

"Why do you care, anyway?" she asks, before she can stop the words from tumbling out. "It's just a cut."

"It looks painful," he says quietly. "And you needn't scar from such a thing when it is in my capacity to mend it."

She bites her lip. "I...forgot."

She forgot that he can heal.

Because he'd never had to, before. He'd never been in the field with them before. But things are different now. There is no one else to rely upon, save herself, Noel, and him. They are all that is left of the Scions of the Seventh Dawn, or at least their warrior contingent, and that reminder kicks the air out of her lungs hard enough that she takes in a sharp breath through her nose.

All that is left. A barely of-age girl with more grit than sense, a barely of-age boy with more brains than wisdom, and a brilliant adult woman broken entirely by grief thanks to that fucking Crystal Tower.

"Sorry," she mutters.

He blinks. "Whatever for?"

She doesn't know. All of it? All of her snapping at him, how he's stuck with her again, how his delicate little lordling body has to drag through the mud with them, how she'd made him worry? "A lot of things," she decides, for the sake of her pride. "But this time for forgetting."

A breathless, choked, single giggle bubbles out of him. Tension snapping. "Quite easy to forgive, I assure you."

His hand lingers in the air for a split second after the chime of his aether fades away. Like he's considering something, and then at the last moment, decides not to.

Instead he says: "Would you like help with your hair?"

Her face flushes hot. Angry, right? What else could it be? Surely nothing else but that. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He is the one that recoils this time. "I just meant...! Well, you tangled it quite severely in your last engagement, I--"

"My hair is fine! Thank you!"

"It has blood and dirt in it!"

"What if I like it that way?"

This. This is more normal. This, somehow, is healing.

She feels a smile pull at her lips as he angrily fumbles a response in turn...a smile that only grows when he finally, finally seems to realize she's fucking with him.

He glares at her, face turning pink -- and she bursts into laughter.

And when he sees her laugh, his confused smile in return is...pleased.

A healing only she can offer him in turn. This is their game. Theirs. And no blade, no gil, no scheming in the night can take that away.

[saigonharrington]

Hey I love your works Izzie! I fell in love with your latest work with Steve. Could I ask for something similar with Conrad Fisher? Something based on „Heather” from Conan? Something along the lines that Conrad and Y/N are best friends, but she has been secretly in love with him for years. (People think they act like a couple in love. His mom thinks they will be married in the future, and she only sees Conrad with her. ) But the vacations are coming and it becomes obvious that he has feelings for Belly? Y / N notices this and maybe moves away from him? And she wish she was Belly. Thanks, and love you so much!! ❤️

You ask and i shall deliver!

Heather yn x conrad fisher

wordcount: 2.7k

category: angst

I'm not quite fond of this one but boy do I love these dramatic speeches and misunderstandings,

the fic is under the cut, enjoy!

---------------------

„You have to admit that this one’s a beauty” Susannah pulled her wedding dress from the closet to show it to you two. „You might think I’m crazy, but I like to imagine that one of you will be wearing this while marrying my son. It’s my dream come true and I’m positive it will fit. It always does.

Belly looked at you awkwardly, wondering what has led to this conversation, and thinking how one could reply to Susannah. 

„I love it, but I’m afraid my mom has planned for me to wear her dress instead.” She said, mumbling apologies only not to see Susannah’s disappointment.

“Well, Y/N, then I think it’s clear you’ll be wearing this while marrying Conrad. And I could make you a beautiful flower crown that will suit perfectly the wedding of your dreams. Good thing there are flowers in almost every color. And…”

“Yes, yes, I would love to.” You put your hands on hers to calm her down, seeing how excited she was getting to be. To be honest, you understood her, because your mind was also going crazy while imagining this exact situation, but you had to stay calm around Susannah and especially Belly.

It was crazy. You knew that she had a crush on Conrad since you were kids because you did too. It was easy to notice how she was reacting to his touch, his way of speaking, you noticed everything. Conrad was your best friend forever, if you could, you would find a way to befriend each other while being in a womb. You were already best mates even before your first school year started. You would have to be blind not to know how many girls were in love with Conrad. Both Fisher boys were on many girls’ minds. But you cared for Conrad in particular because you loved him.

For you, it wasn’t a secret. Even Susannah knew or implied that it’s obvious that you two are made for each other. Her support made you believe that the feeling is mutual and that you truly have a chance to be with him. You wanted to, really, really bad. But it wasn’t the easiest thing to do.

Belly was always there. Mostly during summers, but she was here. She was a little younger than you, leading you to think of her like a little sister. Or more of a cousin, since she wasn’t here all year round, but anyways. The point is, even if you weren’t always on friendly terms, you didn’t want to hurt her by having a relationship with Conrad. It would cause a lot of drama and ruin the perfect summer at Cousins. So you kind of stayed back, trying to hold everything inside and wait. Because if something was going to happen, you didn’t want to be the first to make a move and hurt Belly. It had to be Conrad.

The truth is, he wasn’t eager to do anything as well. He was the quiet kid, only Belly’s mother made her way to his heart somehow and was able to talk with him about his feelings. Sure, you were his best friends and he opened up to you to talk about almost everything. But not about love. That’s why no one was sure who does Conrad like. He kissed some girls at parties or hung around with them for a while, but there hadn’t been any long-term relationship. You desperately wanted to be his first serious girlfriend, hoping that this summer might be a little different, giving you more luck and him more confidence, but nothing happened yet.

“What were you doing with our mom?” Jeremiah asked insinuating something weird while swimming in the pool. 

“Yeah Bells, did Susannah make you take her clothes again?” Steven chimed in, wanting to tease his sister.

“It doesn’t matter. Girl stuff. You wouldn’t understand. Right, y/n?” She asked you for confirmation.

“Of course. And why do you care? We have much more important stuff to do, especially since we got invited to the bonfire party this evening.” You added and saw that the boys were smiling at that idea.

“But do we need to take Belly? She’ll need to be taken care of all the time. I pass.” Steven was unhappy that his sister was getting older and could join boys in many activities. 

“I can take care of her. I’m pretty good at being a pool guard and that means I have an eye on lots of people. One Belly is nothing compared to this.” 

“Stop, Jere.” Belly was annoyed. “I don’t need to be taken care of. I’m not a kid anymore. And I’ll be there with Cam, so I won’t be needing anyone of you. I hope not to notice you there. I’m gonna go prepare and you guys have fun without me.” She left the patio and went to her room, leaving everyone speechless.

“This Ted talk didn’t go well. But she’s right. She’s mature enough to be careful at parties. I can have an eye on her but in a not-so-obvious way like you guys do. Besides, I have nothing to do at the party, so don’t worry. It will be great.” You added, hopefully waiting for Conrad to offer his company to you at the party.

“I have some things to sort out with Nicole, but I might join you in doing nothing. This party is going to be boring.” Conrad finally took part in the conversation, jumping out of the pool to put his, now-empty bottle of beer in the trash can. “See you in front of the cars? Don’t be late everybody.” And he left too.

Getting ready for a beach bonfire party was something you’ve gotten quite used to. It was a common event during summer at Cousins, since it was available for everyone and no one had the responsibility to clean the house afterward before the parents come back, because at the beach there were more hosts and everyone kinda took care of themselves and tried not to make a mess.  There was always a little moment of panic when you had to choose what clothing items to wear and which colors should dominate your makeup. But it was also exciting,  because sometimes Conrad showed you what he was going to wear and you tried to match with him, even with makeup, and other times you tried to guess and match with him without having any clues. Today you knew, since he was messaging you about every single thing you both are going to do this evening not to get bored.

Time was flying so quickly that you didn’t even notice when you were heading back to Fisher’s house to meet up with the boys. “Hi. Belly isn’t going with us?” You greeted them again, finding your place in the backseat with Conrad since Steven was driving and Jere was sitting next to him.

“Nah, she left with Cam Cameron a while ago. I think they were planning to go for a milkshake before going to the beach.” Jeremiah replied to you while putting his sunglasses on. “We’re going to have fun without her. Let the kids have their date or something. We’ll annoy the shit out of her later.” He laughed and high-fived her brother.

„Nice makeup. It never ceases to amaze me how you do it. I like how it looks on you.” Conrad mumbled, wanting to have a bit more private conversation.

“Thank you, Con. It took me AGES to do it, but I’m proud of myself. I think we’ll look great tonight. Who knows, maybe finally some boy will want to dance with me.” 

“I don’t understand why they never do. It’s so hard not to fall for you, there should be a line to get you as we get out of the car. But maybe I will dance with you if they are shy enough to ask you. They need to know what they miss.” His words got you butterflies. It’s so hard not to fall for you. For me? Who tries not to fall for me? If it’s you, Conrad, then please stop trying. Let the feelings sink in. Fall for me, please. I beg you.

“That’s an amazing idea. Let’s have fun and put ourselves out there. You know, show off how great we can be at parties and how we can get along. Let’s present ourselves to possible candidates.” You tried to treat it lightly and commented on the whole thing as if both of you were on a reality show with the purpose to find loved ones, but it only made him chuckle a little. It sounded funnier in your head and maybe it should stay there.

“Yeah and while we’re at it let’s invite some tv hosts to find us blind dates. Funny, y/n. But I still have to talk to Nicole first. I’ll let you know if I’m officially single because for now, I’m not sure.” He got along with it but reminded you that he still has a girlfriend. God, it felt so wrong to love him when he was seeing other girls. It made your heartache, feel like it was punched harder and harder with the purpose to make holes in it with bare hands. But who were you to convince yourself to stop? It wasn’t the easiest task to do.

When you got there, Conrad left you immediately, seeing Nicole with her friend from afar. Steven also went to his girlfriend, so now there was only you and Jere, but it was likely that he will leave you too, considering that everyone here liked him and his company. 

“I think he’s gonna break up with her for good. It makes no sense for them to be together.” He said while glancing at them and trying to decode their facial expressions.

“I don’t know. I thought they had potential, but Conrad messed up a few times. He told me how he ignored her or didn’t tell the truth about something. Maybe you’re right. If I were her, I would leave him.” You tried to be calm, but the thought of Conrad being single made you smile a little.

“Don’t get so happy about it. He’s not the type to break with someone and find another girl the same day.”

“What are you insinuating, Jere? I don’t want to be with him!” You exclaimed a bit louder than you thought you did.

“Yeah, and I’m an astronaut. I’m just saying. It’s pretty obvious that you like him. All the girls do.” He said as if everyone from cousins wasn’t liking him as well. “But the truth is, I don’t think Conrad’s the type of guy to fall for his best friend. I assume that he wouldn’t want to risk losing the relationship for good. Hate to break it to you, y/n, but it’s not the best time to be his girlfriend. We’re young, we need to experiment with others and be casual. Don’t you think so? Look, there goes my experiment.” He ended his monologue following a guy that has just waved to him. As he was leaving he mouthed “h a v e f u n” and got out of your sight. 

While you waited for Conrad to come back with the news, you took a cup of drink from someone who was serving them and sat on the sand alone. Of course, you wanted to have fun but your best friend was always on your mind. It was hard to get loosened when such important stuff was happening to him. Maybe it sounds a little exaggerated but honestly, since he started dating or just generally showing interest in girls, you were always on your toes, not so patiently waiting for him to finally do something with you. That’s why every time he was single and no girl was around you tried to open up a little, but without success.

“It went well.” Your best friend appeared out of nowhere and took your drink from your hand. “She was fed up with my and my behavior, so I’m a free man. Let’s get wasted.” He said it without excitement making you realize that maybe some part of him liked - or loved - this girl. You wanted to console him and make this evening about him. “Have you seen Belly?”  He asked out of nowhere.

“Yeah, I think she and Cam were walking by the seaside like 10 minutes ago? But they might be far from here now…” 

“Of course. I don’t understand what she sees in him.” He took another cup of drink and drank it all. 

“What do you mean? Don’t get all protective. Even her brother isn’t that much bothered about it.” 

“I don’t know. I miss the times when she wasn’t interested in this type of thing. When there were only us in summer. Besides, I don’t trust that guy.” 

“I think he’s nice. He’s got a great impact on her. Would you like her to be with a guy who smokes and drinks every night? Cam’s cool. In my opinion, he’s the best boyfriend that Belly can have. She’s getting older and you have to accept the fact that she will be dating. We can only be glad that she’s with an unproblematic guy.” You defended Belly’s choices because Conrad was getting angrier.

“I think he’s boring. And a show-off. Oh, I’m so perfect, so intelligent and sober.” Conrad imitated Cam’s voice to mock him.

“I genuinely don’t understand you lately. You have just broken up with Nicole. Are you jealous of Belly? What’s gotten into you?” You asked curiously. “Or maybe you just miss the times when she was smitten with you because you and Jere were the only boys around her? Let her go.” You started to get a little dramatic, with a tear in your eye, but you tried to focus to keep your voice low since not everyone should listen and be involved in this argument. 

“I don’t know. I don’t know what I feel. God, it feels so wrong. I don’t know what I want. Maybe I want Belly. Or maybe I just don’t want her to hang out with other guys. I can’t do that.” He replied, getting lost in his thoughts. 

“Maybe it’s high time for you to know. Because it’s pathetic that I’ve been in love with you for so long. I waited all the time, watching you and other girls, and god, I wasn’t even hiding. Everyone knows that I have feelings for you, but you. Your mom today showed me her wedding dress and asked me to wear it on our wedding day.” You started crying. “Don’t you see what it looks like? Everyone roots for us or acknowledges that something is happening. You must be blind to see it, or worse, you knew but chose to ignore it. I can’t do it any longer, Conrad. If you love her, do something. Because of this, I am the perfect example of someone who waited for so long. And see how it ended up for me? I’m choking with tears at a party, where everyone sees me, I’m standing right next to you, looking ugly, after revealing my feelings, and you know what’s coming next? I’m gonna be the only one crying and hurt. And probably with no ride back home. And you will be waiting for her forever. I loved you. I love you. But I see that you don’t love me, not the way I wanted to. But I’m afraid that being friends is not enough for me anymore. Don’t make the same mistakes as I did. God, I wish I were her." And you left him alone, without getting a response or even a goodbye look because he was too stunned to do anything.

------

masterlist <-

request sth! <-

(currently writing and waiting for requests) superache fanfics <-

[laceratedlamiaceae]

Vulnerability in OFMD

I've been thinking a lot about vulnerability in Our Flag Means Death. The TL;DR is "choosing to be vulnerable is good, usually," which isn't really groundbreaking but the way it's done is interesting. I'm intentionally going to conflate physical and emotional vulnerability, because I think the show does it too. A lot of this has been said before, but I wanted to put it all in one place. Looooong post below:

Stede was taught from a young age that vulnerability was bad, by his bullies and his father, so he learned not to show it. As an adult, his tentative attempts to express himself are shut down (see all the flashbacks in episode four), and when Mary tries reaching out to him ("I know you're unhappy; I'm unhappy too"), he's had the fear of vulnerability so ingrained in him that he can't allow himself to be honest with her.

In the first three episodes, he's frequently made vulnerable (getting captured, running into Izzy, getting stabbed by the Spanish), but it's always forced upon him, not something he chooses. He meets Ed at his most vulnerable, having been stabbed and nearly hanged, and Ed saves him--I wouldn't be surprised if that was one of the first times someone saw him vulnerable and didn't use it to hurt him.

Despite that, he still can't be vulnerable with Ed (or anyone else). He tries, briefly, in episode four (when Ed asks him if he ever feels like he's treading water), but then Ed interrupts him and he gives up. Most obviously, he spends hours with a sword literally inside of him pretending that he's fine. In the end, he doesn't tell Ed how he feels about leaving his family, or that he doesn't (entirely) want to run away together. I imagine a big part of his arc in season two is going to be overcoming that.

Ed hasn't been vulnerable in a long time; he craves it, but can't have it because everyone sees him as Blackbeard (except Izzy, who hates vulnerability). We don't see much of what his life is like before he meets Stede, but he complains to Izzy that he doesn't have to risk his life in raids anymore; I think that speaks to a desire for vulnerability, in some way.

When he meets Stede, he finally has someone he can be vulnerable with. From the very beginning, Ed puts himself out there--he tells Stede all about his boredom and frustration pretty much as soon as they meet. I won't list it all out here, but he literally lets Stede stab him; it's hard to get more vulnerable than that, and he does later in that episode when he tells Stede about killing his father.

In episode ten, after having a taste of what vulnerability can get him and then losing it, he tries desperately to get it back and he does that by dialing the vulnerability up to eleven. It kind of works, even if the crew is visibly uncomfortable at first, until Izzy shows him the downside of vulnerability: it makes it easy for people to hurt you. I was pretty confused by his total 180 at first, but it makes a lot of sense when you consider that he's probably never been hit where it hurts like that, at least not for a long time, and he has no idea how to handle it.

Izzy can't handle vulnerability at all. Like Stede, he never chooses to be vulnerable and every time he is put in a vulnerable position he reacts with fear, either freezing (Stede holding him at knifepoint, Lucius asking if he's ever been sketched) or fawning (Ed choking him and making him eat his own toe, the crew nearly throwing him overboard). When Ed tries to be vulnerable with him (and Ed is the only person who ever does), he shuts it down; he brushes off Ed's boredom in episode four and he rails against everything Ed's doing in episode ten. His aversion to vulnerability constantly makes him miserable but he's too afraid/un-self-aware to do anything about it. (just like me!)

If he's getting a "redemption arc" (imo he isn't bad enough for that term to apply, but that's the one people are using), I think it has to start with him confronting that fear. If he doesn't, I think he could be a good foil for Stede, illustrating what happens when you don't allow yourself to be vulnerable. As tragic as it would be, I think Izzy refusing to open up to vulnerability even when he's given the opportunity and ultimately dying/ending up sad and alone because of it would be a really poignant way to end his story, albeit kind of a downer and very cliché.

Lucius is the most willing to be vulnerable, and the most able to pull it off; Jim tries to kill him and they kiss him an episode later, and he literally tells Ed "You can stab me in the face now" and it works out for him. He serves as a model of the show's idea of what vulnerability should look like.

It's more interesting to look at the time Lucius isn't vulnerable: episode five, when Izzy is trying to blackmail him. Izzy saw he was vulnerable and wanted to take advantage of that, and he didn't let that happen. I think the point of that was to show that vulnerability isn't universally good; some people (Izzy) will use it to hurt you.

Overall, every time a character chooses to be vulnerable with another, their relationship improves. The obvious exception to that is Ed in episode ten, and I think the point of that is to hammer home that vulnerability doesn't always work; it isn't a coincidence that Izzy is involved both times this idea is brought up. Being forced into vulnerability is always portrayed as negative, which seems obvious but is worth noting. (as a sidenote, this is why I can't get into fics where Izzy is dragged kicking and screaming into being part of the crew; if he doesn't choose it himself it just feels wrong).

There's a lot more I could say about this--I didn't even touch on Jim and Oluwande, and I might in a later post--but this is already over 1,000 words and I think I have enough here to back up the idea that vulnerability is a big theme of the show. Specifically, the show is (in part) about how important it is to be vulnerable, which I think is a big part of the reason it's resonated with me and so many other people.

[knowlesian]

I can't believe how much "izzy is a beard" sums up in terms of who izzy is to ed. that and your takes on why ed chose izzy exactly FOR his lack of emotional intelligence or desire for friendly closeness are going to be rolling around in my head for ages now

HERE HAVE MORE TO ROLL and watch as this is borderline incoherent/i just end up repeating this when i finish my longer piece, but i have been puzzling over this for ages and trying to figure out how exactly i would guess the lines shook out back in the day.

i think about ed's pre-canon life and choices a lot in terms of "what's the utility", because this team was really good at crafting realistic emotional journeys and people amidst all the outsized and/or ridiculous plot and aesthetics.

the boiled down way to express it would be... metaphorically, ed has always had that red silk close to his chest, but he's only just now beginning to to pull it out and look at it; he can't admit he wants to wear it openly.

it feels safe to say this started faaaairly recently, and it's been going on long enough for izzy to start getting fed up because ed isn't acting like the walls up, mask on version of ed izzy knows and expects to see. who knows the actual length of time and when exactly ed first started to show the cracks in the facade: i legit won't even bother with a guess.

(because look: i just feel like timelines on this show are p much jeremy bearimy, baby. i have stopped trying to guess how long ed and izzy have known each other, when fang joined up, etc etc etc. these characters are all ages at once; maybe izzy has been on ed's ship for five years and fang for five hundred, who could really say. maybe this is ALL occurring in the dot above the i.)

i would definitely say izzy is able to observe the empirical behavioral changes that come from ed getting tired of keeping up the act, but because he can't read ed that's what he labels 'erratic behavior'. erratic means unexpected or unpredictable and out of character, not depressed, and maybe my hottest izzy take is i don't think izzy knows ed is depressed.

(i swear this is leading to actually talking about the old days! at some point!)

and obviously the usual caveat applies that whooo fuckin' knows if i'm reading it right, but i don't think it's a mistake we never see izzy witness ed break down in s1. he's up on deck during the fuckery, he leads lucius to the fort but we don't see him interact with ed during the fort era. by the time izzy interacts with ed again that we see, ed's singing his song on the deck and cleaning up the cabin.

i don't think it's necessarily as cut and dry as 'izzy has no idea ed ever gets upset (not angry)', but when ed says he might try dying because why not!, izzy is baffled. that doesn't speak to me of izzy knowing the depth of ed's pain, or seeing how close he is to legit just saying fuck it and letting all his spinning plates crash because he's tired of maintaining them all and he's not getting much from the effort anymore, where parts of the life used to thrill him.

so izzy can tell something is not right because like... duh, but he's just not good at reading people and ed is very good at obfuscation.

whiiiiiich finally gets me to the old days.

the ed of those days built the kind of toxic ship culture where you cut off toes for a laugh as regularly as you go on benders. (sidenote because i am always lowkey wanting to stress this, the "for a laugh" toe context in e9: very important for analyzing the toe scene, imo. without canon establishing that the blackbeard izzy wants ed to be is a man who cuts off toes for a laugh/that ed knows he doesn't want to be that man anymore, that scene plays out very differently so they definitely included it for a reason. i'm with stede when i say uhhhhh that's a shitty joke! but when you factor in that setup and context, it's pretty clear izzy is legit thrilled because ed did what izzy said he should do. whether or not he knows deep down this is bad for both of them or would have preferred another method: up for grabs. either way the toe was a return to form, and in their old world it was done as a fun little prank and not as a punishment. that's just canon, personal feelings on if that is cool and okay aside.)

back on subject, beyond the 'they shit everywhere' parts ed instituted the pet rule because "the love of a pet makes a man weak". grammatically speaking, that means a lack of that love— a lack of softness, even— makes a man strong.

so: ed's ship culture was set up to stamp out softness, and make men strong. make himself strong. keep those red handkerchiefs hidden, boys, keep your hearts locked away and perform the kind of violence that means evvvvvvverybody understands you are the realest sort of man: a man who cannot be fucked with, or ELSE.

and helLO, mindset izzy hands can fuck with.

so there's point one in izzy's favor for ed. he's already on that train, he's going to go SO HARD enforcing this shit without ed even needing to step in.

there's the other practical aspects: he's a good fighter, he's a good enough sailor to keep up with the standard expected from ed's crew.

i would argue the bulk of 'why izzy' is more emotional, though. ed doesn't want to be alone, izzy won't leave him alone; ed asked for loyalty above all else, and when izzy promised he'd give it he meant that. his loyalty is... you know, the kind of loyalty that leads him to run crying to the navy when ed forces him to play by the rules of a game izzy thought were fair when he also thought they were tilted in his favor, but hey. sliding scale, and ed of the old days was not exactly seeking healthy relationships and good communication.

he's also not seeking to be seen and understood as his full authentic self; he is in fact actively cultivating a persona and lifestyle that is all about hiding in plain sight and making sure nobody questions if he's lowkey full of shit and feels like he's a bad person who doesn't deserve nice things.

selecting a first mate who can see right through him is counter to that goal. enter, izzy hands.

izzy can't read ed, but ed can read izzy and he knows his whole blackbeard shtick is already exactly what izzy wants.

given that izzy tends to see what he wants to see in general (it took this man two solid weeks to begin to wonder if ed just had a crush, and even then his conclusion was 'ohhh, stede is magic and he broke ed's brain' because that's a thing? somehow? jesus christ, izzy. your issues, they are fuckin legion) that means ed would have to know izzy's natural tendencies would combine with a desire to keep serving under a legend and help paper over any slips ed might make in maintaining the facade 24/7.

and alongside all that, as hard as it is for a viewer who looks at izzy and goes '...fuckin what IS THERE to like, though' to imagine, ed clearly got to experience the very best parts of izzy over the years, and subsequently valued them. (...whatever those are.) i very much doubt ed would have kept izzy around if his cluelessness and rabid loyalty and ability to stab were all he had to offer, because you can find all that in a package that isn't otherwise giving you nothing.

that's not to say izzy was once a shining paragon of any sort, since the ed of old was a no pets, no moonlight, no heart to hearts in that moonlight kind of guy— he wasn't looking for somebody like stede back then, because his fear of being known overwhelmed his desire to be known, and (preconceived notions and miscommunications and all) stede is the kind of guy who can't do anything but look at ed and see him for who he is.

it is saying that i think ed saw the best parts of izzy, weighed them against his worst parts, considered all the practical reasons he worked, and it added up to: this is a person i understand but who will never see past what i want him to see, who is even more obsessed with upkeeping my legend than i am and who will never, ever leave me.

aaaaand back in the day, that was what ed wanted; now, it's what's driving them right the fuck on into the rocks.

which is fuckin' tragic on both sides and some very deft writing.

[watchmegetobsessed]

TO LOVE AND BELOVED - Part Five (Harry Styles)

a/n: ahh idk why but writing this part took me forever! but its finally here and i can’t wait to see your thoughts on it! i was debating for a long time if part 5 should be the last one, but then i decided to add another part, bc there are two more things i want to include in the story and i couldn’t squeeze them into this part, it’s already the longest so far, so we have one more part left of the story! also, a little warning that part 6 might take a little longer than the prev parts bc im a little behind with my schedule but it’ll try my best!

pairing: CEO!Dad!Harry X Reader

warning: mentions of death, cheating and divorce, sexual content

word count: 12k

SERIES MASTERPOST masterlist

You’ve been feeling like a teenager sneaking around her parents these past weeks. Only that you’re an adult and the parent you are trying to keep your secret romance hidden from is a four year old little girl.

Your birthday was a turning point in your evolving relationship with Harry. Like a wall has been brought down and he finally started reaching out to you. It feels like with every passing day you’re getting closer to him and you can see the progress he’s been making thanks to his therapy sessions and how much he is trying to make a change himself as well.

Stolen kisses and tiny touches have been a usual in your every days whenever Izzy was out of sight for the shortest second. You’ve realized that Harry is an affectionate person, he likes to keep you close and he never fails to bring passion into the tiniest kisses.

With Izzy around 24/7 it’s been hard to find time when it’s just the two of you, but you’ve been waking up early in the morning just to spend that twenty minutes alone with Harry while he drinks his coffee. Sometimes you just sit in silence, trying to wake up for the day ahead of you but sometimes he talks your ears off about anything and everything. In the evening, when Izzy is already sleeping the two of you usually wind off together in the living room or watch a movie in the entertainment room, just enjoying some alone time. It’s not much, but more than nothing and you’ve grown very fond of these little moments with him.

Nothing more has happened than just kissing. Despite the progress Harry has made so far you can tell he still has quite a few conflicts buried deep inside him and you definitely don’t want to rush him into anything he is not ready for. Some cuddling on the couch or short but passionate make out sessions in a corner while Izzy is not paying attention, you haven’t gone further than this.

Now it’s the last day before Izzy leaves to Harry’s mum for the week. He is dropping her off Sunday afternoon and it will leave the two of you alone for seven full days. Well, Harry still has to work during the day, but from the moment he’ll get home, it’s just gonna be you and him.

You had to make a few phone calls so you’ve been locked in your room for a while now. When you come down you find your favorite father-daughter duo on the couch, some kind of Barbie movie playing on the TV, but Izzy is busy with something else. She’s got her water based flooring pens scattered around her, Harry’s tattooed arm laying across her lap as she is coloring the patterns as if it was her favorite coloring book. Before they could notice you, you run back to your room and grab your polaroid camera and returning you snap a picture of the adorable scene. The shutter of the camera makes Harry’s head snap in your way, a smile tugging on his lips.

“Hey,” he softly greets you. You put the camera and the photo aside to the cupboard near you before joining them on the couch.

“Hi Y/N! Look!” Izzy beams happily, pointing at Harry’s ship tattoo that is now fully colored with yellows, pinks and blues.

“It looks better this way,” you smirk down at her before your eyes meet with Harry’s over her head, smiling at you softly.

Making yourself comfortable next to them, you watch Izzy work on more of his tattoos and you find it such a heartwarming scene, you want to remember it forever. Harry Styles, such an influential, successful and serious businessman, sitting on the couch in his loungewear while his daughter is using his tattooed skin as her personal coloring book. He really is a wonderful human being and the best dad to his daughter.

“Y/N, do you have any tattoos?” Izzy asks, turning to you with curious eyes.

“I actually do,” you answer and you see Harry’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

“You really do?” he asks, his head resting on the back of the couch, turned to face you.

“Yeah,” you nod with a soft chuckle.

“Where?” Izzy asks perking up at the new information.

“Um, it’s right here,” you tell her pointing at the side of your hips, covered with your sweatpants.

“Can I color them?” she asks innocently, but Harry is quick to react.

“Izzy, you’re being a little too nosy,” he warns her as always, and she looks at you with a pouty look.

“It’s fine. Um, yeah, you can color it,” you nod.

Sliding lower on the couch you roll down the waistband of your pants until the tattoo is revealed on the side. You catch Harry’s eyes wander over the skin you are now showing and you can see a slight blush tinting his cheeks. He hasn’t seen this part of your body uncovered yet, he hasn’t even seen you in a bathing suit so far so it’s quite the new thing.

(reference for the tattoo)

The tattoo on your side is a simple yet meaningful one, dedicated to the special bond you and Trevor share. It’s a minimalistic yet beautiful piece of two koi fishes swimming in a circle, one is left blank as while the other one is black so their formation resembles the yin-yang symbol. You got it when you turned twenty, when Trevor was just in middle school, but he promised you he would get the same design when he turns eighteen that will happen in the fall.

“That looks beautiful,” Harry breathes out with a shy smile and you notice how he doesn’t ask about the meaning behind it. Not because he is not curious but because he is insanely respectful and he doesn’t want to ask something that’s too personal.

“Thanks,” you smile at him as Izzy grabs her pens and starts coloring the blank fish.

The rest of the day goes by uneventfully, Harry is clearly trying to spend as much time with Izzy as possible before her week with his mother, but you also notice that he seems to be keeping something away from you, like he is trying to bring up something but he is not entirely sure how to start the conversation.

It’s not until Izzy is put to bed that he joins you on the couch, turning to you with a serious expression on his handsome face.

“What’s up?” you ask with a soft chuckle.

“I was thinking…”

“I could see that,” you tease him, giving his knee a playful squeeze. “I’m listening.”

“Actually there are two things I wanted to talk to you about. I’m not sure which one to ask first.” He purses his lips before sighing and moving his eyes to meet your curious gaze. “So we’re gonna be alone for the next week.”

“Mhm.”

“And I thought that… if you want to, but we don’t have to, it was just an idea—so feel free to—“

“Harry,” you cut his stuttering off, moving closer with a reassuring smile. You caress the side of his face and you notice how you lean into your touch, breathing out through his nose. “Don’t be nervous, alright? Just tell me what’s been on your mind.”

“Would you go out on a date with me?” he then asks and it’s the purest thing you’ve ever seen and heard from him. The hopeful but still nervous look in his eyes makes him appear like a little boy who is asking out his first crush in middle school, afraid of rejection, when that’s the last thing he has to think about when it comes to you, but it’s still cute.

“I would love to,” you smile at him and leaning closer you peck his lips softly. “And what’s the other thing you wanted to ask?”

“Well, I’m driving Izzy over to my mum’s early in the morning and I’m staying for lunch and… if you don’t feel like it’s too much, you could… maybe come with us.”

“You want me to meet your mum?” you ask surprised.

“Well, she wants to meet you as well, but I want you to meet her, yes,” he admits with a nervous chuckle. “Gemma has told her about you and my sister likes to be nosy so she might have added a little spice into the story about us when nothing was really going on.”

“Oh my, what does she think?” you ask with wide eyes.

“Nothing bad, don’t worry,” he assures you quickly. “She just made it seem like we are… dating and all,” he adds with a nervous smile. “But I told her that it’s… I mean that we are not there… yet.”

“Oh, okay. Well, if you really want me there, I would love to go with you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Would love to meet your mum.”

“I was afraid you’d find it a little early for this,” he admits truthfully and you can see that rationality in his thought. “We haven’t really… discussed what we are and I didn’t want to put the pressure on you.”

“Well, do you want to talk about us?” you ask softly, giving him the chance to decline if he feels like the conversation might be a little too much for him.

“I do, but I’m not sure… what to say,” he hums, knitting his eyebrows together. Last time I had this talk I was in my early twenties and I don’t even know how to start,” he chuckles shaking his head.

“Okay, then let’s just agree on some things,” you suggest and he eyes you curiously. “Neither of us is seeing anyone else, right?”

“Is that even a question in my situation?” he snorts, making a joke out of his issues clearly and you’re happy he is able to take it so lighthearted.

“Just clearing the air,” you chuckle. “So we are…exclusive.”

“Seems like it,” he nods.

“And you just asked me out on a date,” you point another detail out.

“I did. And you said yes,” he smiles, an excited shine in his eyes glimmering through his green irises.

“Yeah. So we can say we are dating? Seeing each other?” Harry chews on the terms you offered, tastes them before nodding slowly.

“I guess we could say that.”

“Okay. So… that’s what we are,” you smile at him, giving his knee another squeeze. This time, his hand finds yours and he runs his thumb across your knuckles.

“I think… I’m okay with that,” he breathes out and though it’s seemingly such an insignificant thing, you know how huge steps he has just taken forward.

“I liked the blue one better. With the white sweater,” Heather hums, watching you through the video call. You have your phone propped up on your dresser as you’re trying to figure out what to wear today.

Though you seemed completely unbothered last night when Harry invited you along with them, but now you can feel the slight panic. It’s not even because you and Harry are a thing now, you’d feel this way if you met his mother just as Izzy’s nanny. Grandmothers can be so protective over their grandchildren, you’ve met with quite a few problematic ones while you were working at the daycare and you just want Anne to like you, to trust you with Izzy as much as Harry does.

“Okay, blue it is then,” you sigh, pulling the yellow sundress off of yourself before putting the blue one back with a white sweater.

“So you guys are now official?” Heather grins at you through the screen. “Meeting his mother and all that?”

“Define being official,” you chuckle softly.

“Like, boyfriend-girlfriend?”

“Not yet. But we agreed to be exclusively dating.”

“I still can’t fucking believe that you’re scoring the hottest dad I’ve ever seen. You lucky bitch,” she sighs, sipping on her morning coffee.

“Me neither,” you scoff.

“I’m pretty sure if the mothers who got you fired knew, they would explode. Basically every woman was in love with the man and now you are the lucky woman actually getting him.”

“I guess this is karma for what they did,” you chuckle shrugging. “Alright, I gotta go, because we are leaving soon, but I’ll talk to you soon.”

“You better be! I want a detailed essay about how it went!” she grins, kissing the camera.

“Alright, bye!” you smile before ending the call.

When you get downstairs, Harry and Izzy are already down there, Harry is zipping up her bag while she is dancing around humming to herself.

“Baby, your backpack is still in your room. Can you please get it?” Harry asks her, Izzy nods and runs towards you, stopping in front of you.

“Hi Y/N! I like your dress!” she beams at you.

“Hi! Well thank you!” you smile at her before she runs past you up the stairs. “Hey,” you greet Harry and his eyes snap up to you, his pink lips stretching into a warm smile as he leans closer and kisses your cheek sweetly.

“Hi. You look beautiful.”

“Thank you. So, any tips for meeting your mum for the first time?” you ask, fidgeting with your fingers nervously. Harry reaches out and takes your hands between his so he stops the motion.

“You don’t need tips. I know my mum will like you, she is already so excited to meet you, so don’t worry.”

“If you say so,” you breathe out.

Harry puts Izzy’s stuff in the Rover and soon buckles her into her seat before the three of you hit the road. Harry has a whole playlist for Izzy’s favorite songs so you obviously listen to that along with Izzy’s performance of all the songs, filled with misheard lyrics, but that’s what makes it even better. The car ride is about three hours, which is not that horrible. You need just one bathroom break sometime in the middle and Izzy sleeps through the last hour in the car, allowing the two of you to finally listen to music that’s not from a kids’ show.

“Do you have a song request?” you smile over at him, scrolling through his phone since it’s the one connected to the car, but he has given you permission to play whatever you like.

“Not really.”

“You don’t have songs you like to listen to in the car?”

“Not specifically. Do you?”

“Oh, I have a whole playlist for songs to blast in the car,” you chuckle.

“Really? And what songs are on it?”

“Well, I can just show you.”

You search up your user on Spotify and find the playlist in talk before putting it on shuffle. As the first song starts to play, you peek over at him to see his reaction and you spot the smirk on his lips.

“Black Eyed Peas?” he asks glancing at you shortly.

“Yeah, you don’t like them?” you smirk at him.

“I do, I just didn’t think you listen to them,” he admits with a soft chuckle.

“Are you kidding me? They give me the biggest nostalgia! I listened to them so much as a teenager.”

“So teenage Y/N gave a concert in her bedroom, singing I Gotta Feeling?” he teases you grinning.

“Not just a concert, a whole world tour.”

There’s a short silence, just the two of you listening to the song, you watch the trees and fields rush by you as you drive down the country road. The song changes to another one and you’ve already forgotten about what you talked about, but apparently not Harry.

“What were you like as a teenager?” he asks. You turn to face him and your eyes meet for a second.

“Um, like a normal teenager,” you shrug, not sure what to say.

“There’s no such thing as a normal teenager,” Harry smiles. “What did you do, what were your favorite things?”

“I was… pretty plain, if I might say. I wasn’t a rebel or too much of a geek either. I had like three good friends, we used to hang out a lot by the little lake near our neighborhood, that was like our spot. I liked going on hikes and I watched a lot of documentaries,” you admit with a small smile.

“What kind?”

“I don’t know, anything that was on,” you shrug. “My mom had this phase where she was trying to act like she was just like all the other mom’s from my school, but they were all at least a decade older than her. She was trying to prove that she was this mature, very serious woman who had her shit together and all that.”

“And she didn’t?” Harry asks peeking at you shortly.

“I mean, she did. She turned thirty when I was twelve. Most women barely just got married and started their family at that age but she had been married for eight years and had a middle schooler and a baby already. She really was mature but I could tell that she felt like she lost her twenties because of… me.”

Sighing you think back to the years when you often felt like a burden to your mom. She gave up a lot of things just to give you the life she imagined for you. She worked her ass off to raise you and later Trevor as well, have a career and do all the works around the house. Your dad was working a lot of night shifts, there were entire weeks when you barely even saw him. You don’t blame him, he was trying to provide for his family, but it’s pretty clear he and your mother grew cold over the years and it had a huge part in it.

“Do you… blame yourself for it?” Harry asks softly.

“No,” you shake your head. “It’s not like I had anything to do with being born,” you chuckle. “I just didn’t like seeing my mom struggle so much. So when Trevor was born I was trying to take over a lot of tasks around the house and with him as well. I babysat him a lot, took care of him in the mornings, I picked him up from daycare and later from school… I tried to make it easier for my parents.”

“So this is why you grew so close with him?”

“I guess so,” you nod. “I mean, I surely spent the most time with him,” you add with a short chuckle.

“And do you think this is why you’re so good with kids?”

“What is this, a therapy session?” you ask arching an eyebrow at him, but he just rolls his eyes.

“Just… trying to get to know you. Is that a problem?”

“No, I just… I’m not used to talking about myself so much. It’s been quite a few years since I’ve been in this… talking stage,” you admit with a sigh. “But to answer your question, it might have had some impact on me. I mean, I loved taking care of Trevor. It’s like I had my own baby doll, only that it wasn’t just a toy, it was a real baby I could play with.”

“Did you play dress up with him?” Harry smirks at you.

“I did,” you admit laughing. “I used to dress him as a princess a lot and he seemed to like it! My dad wasn’t really a fan of it.”

For the rest of the ride you listen to your playlist and talk about not just your but Harry’s past too. He tells you about his friends, what he was like in school and the mischiefs he did growing up, that drove his mum crazy sometimes. As you get to his hometown and he points out different places he used to go to when he was younger, you feel so much closer to him, like you’ve just gotten to see another piece of him that was hidden before.

He pulls up to the driveway of a simple townhouse and as you get out of the car you see the front door open and a woman rushes out, squealing in excitement as she runs up to Harry and hugs him tightly.

“Finally! I was starting to get worried!” she breathes out, rocking the two of them to left and right.

“Mum, don’t be dramatic. I texted you when we left and we got here perfectly in time,” Harry chuckles, holding his mum tight.

“You barely just arrived and you’re already picking on me? Typical,” Anne rolls her eyes, letting go of him. You round the car, feeling nervous to meet her. When her eyes finally fall on you, her smile grows even wider as she takes a step closer to you. “And you must be Y/N! It’s so nice to meet you!” she beams, pulling you into a warm hug as well.

“Nice to meet you too,” you chuckle, hugging her back.

“I’m Anne, but I listen to all versions of mum and grandma,” she tells you chuckling.

“Alright, noted,” you nod smiling.

Harry opens the car door of the backseat and unbuckles Izzy who has already woken up from her little nap and the moment her feet are on the ground she runs up to Anne.

“Grams!” She giggles before throwing herself into Anne’s arms who picks her up happily.

“Hi baby, you grew so much! I missed you!” she sighs as the little girl cuddles into her neck.

“Missed you too, Grams. I brought my new toys, do you want to play with them?”

“Of course! We’ll have all the time to play this week,” Anne smiles down at her. “Alright, come on in. Lunch is almost ready.”

Harry grabs Izzy’s things from the car and you all head inside. The house smells good from the cooking food in the kitchen and it’s such a cozy home, you can definitely see Harry growing up here. Above the fireplace in the living room there are a bunch of photos framed on the wall, most of them are from Harry and Gemma, but there are some more of other relatives as well, cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents. It seems like Harry has a big family.

Harry unpacks Izzy’s stuff in her room that used to be Gemma’s apparently, he is telling Anne all about everything she needs to know about Izzy’s routines and she is listening patiently, though you’re sure she is more than capable of taking care of her. After all, she raised two amazing children already.

While Izzy shows Anne all her toys she’s brought with herself, Harry takes your hand and pulls you out of the room just to go into another one. Walking in you immediately realize that it must have been his once upon a time.

“You know, I can see your younger version in here, the one I saw in the photos downstairs,” you smirk at him, looking around. There are some old posters and pictures still littering the walls, stickers are covering the side of his wardrobe and dresser, some of them are partially ripped off already, he probably tried to get rid of them once he got older, but miserably failed.

“Yeah? I was pretty cute, right?” he smirks, so full of himself.

“I liked the curly Justin Bieber hairstyle,” you tease him and he gives you an “are you for real?!” look to which you just start laughing.

“Justin Bieber had nothing on me.”

“Yeah, sure,” you laugh before he grabs your hand and pulls you against his chest, wrapping his arms around you. “Your mum is in the next room,” you whisper against his lips as he leans down, teasing you with them just lingering on yours.

“So what? You never sneaked around your parents before?” he smirks down at you.

“I did,” you admit.

“Oh, nasty,” he comments before finally kissing you. However it doesn’t last long, because you hear footsteps coming from outside so you’re quick to move away from each other, just in time when Anne walks in.

“Lunch will be ready in a few, would you two mind setting the table?” she smiles, oblivious what was happening just a moment ago.

“Sure,” Harry nods, rubbing his nose as his other hand finds your waist and he ushers you out of the room.

Izzy helps Anne in the kitchen while you and Harry take care of the table. When everything is done you all sit down and start the feast Anne was so kind to make for you. It doesn’t take long to see the snickering but loving dynamic between Harry and his mother. Anne likes to pick on her son, call him out for basically anything and though Harry talks back, he mostly just lets her tear him to pieces. With love, of course.

“Izzy, please don’t get whipped cream all over the place!” Harry sighs when it’s time for dessert. Anne has made apple pie, one of Izzy’s favorites and she is going generous with the cream on top of her slice.

“You didn’t have problem getting cream all over you when we were making cupcakes, daddy!” Izzy sasses back, making both you and Harry drop your jaws while Anne starts laughing at her boldness.

“That was an entirely different situation, Izzy,” Harry shakes his head as he helps her with the scream before passing it over to you.

“Grams, you should have been there! Daddy, Y/N and I made a mess in the kitchen, but daddy started it!” Izzy giggles, digging into the pie.

“Is that so?” Anne smirks.

“We were just… playing,” Harry explains.

“Oh, I know how you can get when you’re just playing,” Anne chuckles. “Y/N, how do you put up with two kids in the house?”

“I used to deal with fifteen at the same time, so two is not a trouble,” you smirk at Harry who just rolls his eyes, but you see the hiding little smile on his lips.

After lunch Izzy insists on showing you the dollhouse Anne has set up for her in the backyard while Harry helps his mum with the cleaning up.

“We both know your sister likes to exaggerate stories, so I didn’t believe everything she said about you and Y/N,” Anne speaks up as she is washing the dishes and Harry is on drying duty.

“I’m glad you don’t fall for Gemma’s vivid imagination.”

“But there’s one thing she got right.”

“And what would that be?” Anne turns the tap off as she faces Harry, sighing in relief as she smiles at him.

“That you look happy.”

Harry opens his mouth to say something, but then just closes it. He does feel happy, even if he is still struggling to accept it. Anne dries her hands and reaching up she cups Harry’s face in her palms.

“Baby, I haven’t seen you like this for a long time. And I know you think you don’t deserve to feel this way, but you do. And Y/N makes you happy, clearly.”

“Mum…”

“No, honey, just… listen to me, okay?” she asks and he nods, giving all his attention to his mother. “It broke my heart to see you so… lost after what happened to Maggie. And I know that it was the hardest thing you ever had to go through, but you need to move on. She would want you to do the same thing.”

“How do you know, mum? You didn’t even like Maggie when I first brought her home,” Harry points out mumbling under his breath.

“That doesn’t change the way you felt about her. I know you loved her and I would have never wanted anything to happen to her. She made you happy and that’s all that mattered to me,” she smiles with a tired sigh. “And I just want you to be happy again. Whatever you two have going on… don’t let go of it, alright? She is making you happy and you deserve that.”

Harry doesn’t know what to say so he just nods before Anne pulls him into a tight, motherly hug that he returns gladly.

“I’m trying, mum. I’m trying,” he whispers into her hair, giving her a squeeze before letting go of her.

You stay a little longer, Anne makes you tea and Harry soaks in the last minutes with Izzy before he is forced to be away from her. You know he is looking forward to spending some time away from his daddy duties, but it’s clear that he’ll miss her terribly too.

“Alright, baby. Be good and I’ll call Grams to talk to you every day, okay?” Harry tells her, giving her one last hug. Izzy wraps her arms around his neck tightly, her face squished into his neck.

“Okay, daddy. I love you,” she mumbles with a pouty look.

“I love you too. Have a good time with Grams.”

“Thank you for everything, Anne,” you tell her, giving her a quick hug.

“Oh, you’re welcome. It was so nice to meet you,” she smiles, feeling a little touched by the goodbye. “Come back soon!”

“I will, thank you.” “Bye mum, call me if anything comes up,” Harry tells her, hugging her as well.

“We’ll be alright, don’t worry. Tell Mitch and Sarah that I wish them the best!” Anne smiles as you and Harry head out the door.

“I will! Bye!”

Izzy stands at the front door with Anne, waving after you as Harry backs out of the driveway and eventually, they are out of your sight.

Harry falls silent and you don’t have to be a genius to know that he is already missing Izzy. You can imagine what it feels like to not see her every day like he always does, when he is so used to having her around all the time.

“You alright?” you softly ask, giving his arm a short squeeze.

“Yeah, it’s just… It’s the third time I’m doing this, but it never gets easier. The first year we did it I ended up driving up here four times that week,” he admits with a chuckle.

“Nothing to be ashamed of. It’s normal to miss her.”

“I know, it just makes me emotional,” he admits, flashing you a short smile before he turns his gaze back at the road ahead of him.

The drive back home is a lot quieter than the way to Anne’s. You play some music again and Harry hums to it sometimes, but he is mostly just deep in his thoughts and you don’t want to bother him, knowing well he probably needs some time to settle with the thought of an entire week without Izzy.

You get some takeout for dinner before arriving home and eat together before putting on a movie to watch in the entertainment room. One movie turns into another and before you could realize it, you’re dosed off on the comfy couch, cuddled to Harry’s side near midnight.

When you wake up something entirely different is playing on the screen since the original movie has ended long ago. Harry is passed out, his head resting against the back of the couch, one arm curled around your shoulders while the other is resting on his stomach. Rubbing your eyes you check the time and decide it’s better if you both just go to bed before you end up spending the night on the couch.

“Hey… H,” you softly caress his cheek before you brush his unruly curls back from his forehead. He scrunches his nose adorably before his eyes flutter open, taking in his surroundings. “We fell asleep. Why don’t we call it a night?” you ask in a soft whisper. Harry sighs, nodding his head, squeezing you to his side before his arm falls from around your shoulders. You peck his cheek before pushing yourself up from the couch. He shuts the TV off and the two of you head upstairs. For your surprise, his hand finds yours on the way up the stairs, lacing his fingers together with yours.

You pad your way up to the second floor and walking past Izzy’s room Harry stops for just a heartbeat before he follows you down the hallway. When you’re about to let go of his hand to head into your own bedroom, Harry pulls you back gently, making you look at him with slight confusion.

“Do you… Maybe you could… sleep at mine, if you want to? Just a thought…” he breathes out, clearly nervous to speak what’s been on his mind.

“I would love to, but only if you’re sure about it.”

“I’m sure. It would be nice to… wake up next to you,” he adds with a shy smile and you notice how he didn’t say waking up next to anyone, he wants you to be there.

“Alright. Why don’t we both just go and shower separately and then I’ll come back to yours?” you offer, giving his hand a squeeze. Harry nods and leaning down he places a chaste kiss to your lips before letting go of your hand, going your separate ways.

After doing your usual nighttime routine you put on a pair of soft pajama pants and a simple shirt before heading back to Harry’s bedroom. The door is slightly open, the lights are still on. You knock on the door before pushing it open carefully. You’ve only been in here a handful of times and it’s strange to come here with the intention of staying.

Harry is standing by his dresser in a pair of sweatpants and a white shirt, his hair is slightly damp from his shower. As his eyes fall on your figure a small smile tugs on his lips before he glances towards the bed.

“Which… which side do you like sleeping on?” he asks and you can’t hold back a chuckle as you walk to the side that’s clearly not used by him usually.

Harry huffs with a smile before going to his side. You put your phone to the nightstand before getting under the covers, making yourself comfortable in Harry’s silky sheets. He sits to the edge of the bed, checks something on his phone before dropping it to his nightstand and he then joins you under the covers.

It’s a tiny bit awkward at first, neither of you really finding your place in such a new situation, so at first you just lie on your sides facing each other. Harry is clearly about to say something, he is just looking for the right words, so you give him all the time he needs.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he softly speaks up. “Not just because… I would be awfully lonely now without Izzy,” he adds with a cheeky chuckle. “I meant it generally. I’m really happy that you’re here.”

“I’m happy to be here too. Wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” you smile at him. Breathing out through his nose he closes his eyes for a few seconds before his green irises meet yours again. Leaning closer he kisses you softly, just another way to tell you the same thing he just said with his words a moment ago. Pulling back he settles his head on the pillow and he pulls you into his arms, making you cuddle to his side similar to the way you fell asleep on the couch earlier.

“Good night, Y/N,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head.

“Good night, Harry,” you hum back, nuzzling your face into his shoulder, making yourself comfortable in his strong arms.

Harry grumbles lowly when his phone’s alarm goes off in the morning. He might be off from his daddy duties this week, but he is still the CEO of his company and work is calling his name. Sometime during the night the two of you got tangled up in each other. Unlike last night, now Harry is the one snuggled up to you, his heavy arm lying across your stomach, his legs mingled with yours under the sheets as you gently scratch his scalp with one hand, running the other up and down his arm across your stomach. You’re not gonna lie, waking up in a bed with Harry is far more blissful and satisfying than you imagined. Even early in the morning he has such an aura that sweeps you off your feet, the man was surely crafted by the gods.

“You’re gonna be late,” you hum, eyes still closed when he hits the snooze button and snuggles back to you.

“It’s set to when I have to get Izzy ready. We still have some time,” he mumbles against the fabric of your shirt.

You stay in bed a little longer until it really is time to get up. Harry’s morning form is so soft yet still breathtaking, even with his hair tousled and his puffy eyes, he still looks gorgeous and you find it slightly unfair how little effort the man needs to be this perfect.

Harry heads to take a shower and in the meantime you decide to start making breakfast while the coffee is brewing.

“Oh you shouldn’t have,” Harry breathes out with a thankful smile when he arrives downstairs and sees the almost ready breakfast and the smell of coffee hits his nose.

“I have all the time in the world this week,” you chuckle as you fill a plate with eggs and veggies before you slide it over to him on the kitchen island. You fix a plate for yourself as well and join him on the stool beside him.

“So… are you still up for the date?” Harry asks shyly, glancing over at you.

“Didn’t really change my mind since yesterday,” you chuckle.

“Would you be up to do it today?”

“So, eager, huh?” you tease him, nudging him with your shoulder and he just shyly shrugs, trying to push down his smile. “Today works fine for me. What do you have in mind?”

“I’m not ruining the surprise,” he smirks at you, sipping on his coffee.

“Alright, then just tell me the dress code.”

“Wear that lilac dress you wore to that birthday party the other week.”

You know exactly what dress he is talking about, but it stuns you that he actually remembers what you wore two weeks ago. He only saw you for a few minutes before you left, yet he still remembered the dress.

“Alright,” you smile to yourself before turning back to your breakfast.

Though you have a few extra sessions booked for the week, your Monday stayed empty and without Izzy roaming around the house you have to realize that you can easily get bored without her. You got so used to being with her all day long that now being home on your own is so weird.

You spend the first half of the day lounging at the pool, something you’ve been dying to do, but you were too busy with a certain little girl. Then you have a nice lunch and after reading the book you’ve been putting away for weeks, you realize that you’ve run out of things to do. So you text Trevor if he wants a ride home after school and of course he does, so after fixing yourself up you drive down to his school.

“Hi there, how was your day?” you ask when he sits into the car, throwing his backpack to the backseat before he buckles himself up as you back out of the parking spot.

“Fantastic, as always!” he fake cheers, making you laugh.

“Want to get ice-cream?”

“You know I always want ice-cream,” he snorts smirking at you.

You haven’t met Trevor ever since things become kind of… romantic between you and Harry, and you didn’t want to tell him over the phone, so now is the perfect time to break him the news. When the two of you are sitting on the terrace of your favorite ice-cream place, your paper cup filled with chocolate and strawberry ice-cream while he chose mango and cookie dough, you finally start the conversation.

“So, I have news for you.”

“Oh my God,” he breathes out, closing his eyes for a second. “Are you leaving the country?”

“What? No! Why do you think that?”

“I don’t know, but last time you said you had news for me you moved out from home. Figured it might be something similar,” he shrugs, returning to his ice-cream.

“Well, no, I’m not leaving the country.”

“Okay, then what is it?”

“I’m kind of… dating Harry. You know, my boss.” You have no idea why you felt the need to add the last part when he has already met him, but you feel a bit nervous. Trevor is like your best friend and he had a bad feeling about Keith when you started dating him, but you ignored it. If he has a similar feeling about Harry now, you are definitely considering them this time.

“Oh!” his eyebrows shoot up. “What do you mean kind of?”

“Well, we haven’t had our first date yet, it’s happening tonight, but things have… changed.”

“So you slept with him?”

“No, I haven’t,” you chuckle nervously. “We kissed. A few times and… we talked about where it’s heading and we both think it’s going to turn into something… more serious.”

“That’s great!” he smiles at you and it seems completely genuine. “See, I told you it’s gonna happen sooner or later,” he smirks coyly, before he licks his spoon off.

“You were just drawing random assumptions because of his looks and wealth, Trevor. But it’s not about that.”

“Oh, I know you’re not a gold digger,” he teases you, making you roll your eyes at him. “So your first date is tonight? What are you guys doing?”

“I don’t know, he didn’t tell me,” you shrug with a small smile.

“Mysterious,” Trevor wiggles his eyebrows at you. “So he is finally ready to get back on the dating scene, huh?”

“Um, he is working on it. It’s a little hard for him, but he’s been changing for the better.” “That’s great. I’m happy for you,” he smiles at you. “Really, you deserve it after that asshole.”

“Yeah, I hope it’ll go well,” you smile back at him with a sigh before you return to your ice-cream.

After dropping Trevor off at one of his friends you head back home. For your surprise, Harry’s car is already parked on the driveway with another one that doesn’t belong to him when you pull up and walking in you find him with Niall in the kitchen.

“Oh, hi boys!” you greet them.

“Y/N! You are stunning as always!” Niall beams, pulling you into a tight hug right away.

“Thanks,” you chuckle patting his back. “What are you guys up to?”

They share a look and it tells you right away you are not supposed to know whatever they were talking about so you just nod smiling.

“Alright, got it,” you chuckle.

“How was your day?” Harry asks, hoping to change the subject smoothly.

“Great! Met with Trevor, just dropped him off.”

“Oh, how is he doing?”

“He is fine, struggling a little with math lately, but he is doing great,” you chuckle.

“So you have a brother. Do you happen to have a sister, maybe?” Niall asks with a coy smile and while Harry just rolls his eyes at his friend, you can’t help but laugh.

“Sorry, no,” you tell him the bad news. “But… I have a good friend and I think you’d like her.”

“A friend? Do you have a picture of her?” Niall beams, already excited about it. Pulling your phone out you show him a picture of you and Heather so he can have a good look at her. You actually think that Heather and Niall would be a good match, she might even be the girl Niall would give up his bachelor life finally.

“When are we having a double date?” he simply asks, making you and Harry laugh at the same time.

“I’ll see what I can do for you.” You let the boys finish whatever they were doing before you arrived so you go to your room, unwinding a little before you have to start getting ready for the date. Around five there’s a soft knock on your door and as you call out, Harry pops his head inside.

“Hi,” he smiles nervously as the rest of his body walks into your sight.

“Hi!” you smile back, putting your book to the side.

“I just realized I never told you the time when you should be ready tonight,” he chuckles nervously. “Is six good for you?”

“Yeah, that’s great.”

“Alright. Then… see you soon, I guess,” he smiles nodding before he walks out of your room. You can’t help a small chuckle at how nervous he seems about tonight, as if he wasn’t still sure about your feelings for him, when you’ve made it clearer than daylight.

You get the best kind of jitters while getting ready for the date. It’s like you’re in high school again and your crush has finally asked you out so you want to look your best. Since Harry already suggested you what to wear, you don’t have to spend an hour standing in your closet, trying to find the right choice. For the makeup you go for a little smokey look and you do a loose bun styles for your hair, remembering the words your mother always told you when you were a teenager.

“A woman’s greatest and most secret weapon is her neck. Men go crazy if you show them your neck and they don’t even realize it!”

You spray some perfume on yourself and put on a pair of nude heels before packing your necessities into a purse that matches your outfit. You finish with everything just in time, a soft knock signaling that Harry has returned. Checking yourself one last time in the mirror you open the door and reveal him standing at the door, wearing a pair of fitted purple dress pants with a crispy shirt on, matching your dress perfectly. And the cherry on top is the bouquet of red roses in his hands.

“Hi,” he breathes out with a nervous smile and his gaze travels down your figure, a blush tinting his cheeks.

“Hi!”

“You look… beautiful,” he smiles shyly and your heart is fluttering in your chest. It’s really happening, you are going on a date with Harry!

“Thank you,” you chuckle softly.

“These are for you. I know it’s weird that I’m picking you up from your bedroom and I’m not giving you this at the front door, but…” he chuckles as he hands you the flowers.

“It’s really nice, thank you,” you smile, taking the flowers before moving into the bedroom to put them in a vase quickly. Harry takes just about two steps into the room and stops with his hands hidden in his pockets as he eyes every movement of yours before you finish with the flowers and let him know that you’re ready to do. He holds out his hand and you take it gladly as you head out of the house.

He doesn’t tell you where you’re going, not even when you try to annoy him and bully him into finally hinting something, but you should have known that he wouldn’t break. He has a four year old daughter who is constantly bugging him, he has endless patience.

When he parks down in front of a modern apartment complex you kind of get really confused, because nothing around seems like the location you’d choose for a date.

“Are you gonna kidnap me and keep me hostage in one of the apartments here?” you ask him with narrowed eyes as the two of you head inside, taking the elevator up.

“It’s not kidnapping, you came willingly,” he smirks down at you.

“That I did.”

When you’re at one of the apartments you are really lost about what he had planned and he finally breaks your suffering and tells you what’s gonna happen as he keys the two of you into the apartment.

“This is Niall’s place, he let us use it tonight. My mum always says that cooking together is a good first date, because food brings people together and you can easily get to know each other,” he explains as you walk into the modern, but definitely very manly home. “I didn’t want to do it at home, because we are always there, so… Niall was nice enough to lend us his place for our date.”

You see that there are two full grocery bags on the kitchen counter and the table is already set for two, you wonder if Harry was here earlier, or Niall did the work for him. Either way, it’s such a thoughtful gesture and a perfect first date.

“Where is he tonight?” you ask with a small smile.

“He is visiting his mother, for a change,” Harry chuckles, knowing well you thought he would be out with a woman probably. “He said he won’t be back until later tomorrow so we can even sleep here, but I thought it would be better if we went home.”

“So what are we making?” you ask curiously as you peek into one of the grocery bags.

“We are going to attempt to make gnocchi with some killer tomato sauce. And brownies for dessert,” he adds with a small smile.

“That sounds great, what can I help with?”

“Let me just quickly pack everything out and then we have to peel the potatoes, yeah?”

“Alright,” you nod, your gaze wandering over to the spacious living room. “Can I look around?”

“Sure,” he nods while he is already elbows deep in one of the bags.

Niall’s place looks like it came right off the pages of an interior design magazine, the furnishing is modern and more on the dark color range, but not too much to make it appear depressing. Right next to his huge TV there’s a floor to ceiling bookcase filled with books mostly about music and art and you realize you don’t even know what Niall does for a living. It just never came up between his heavy flirting sessions.

“I never asked, but what does Niall do?” you ask calling out to Harry.

“Oh, he is a freelancer music producer. Tried to offer him a permanent spot at my company, but he prefers his freedom, like with everything else in his life,” he chuckles. “But he is a good one, we used to make music together when we were younger.”

Just as he says that, you spot a picture of the two of them on the shelves and your lips part in a bit of a shock when you realize that Harry used to have long hair. Leaning closer you inspect the photo better and you feel like you’re looking at two entirely different people. Niall’s hair was bleached blonde which is already enough to make him like another version of himself, but Harry is definitely the biggest shocker. He was rocking some loose shirt with the top buttons left undone, his necklace with the cross pendant peeking out and though the photo ends somewhere above his knees, you can tell that he is wearing skinny jeans, something you never thought you would ever see him in.

“You had long hair?” you ask joining him in the kitchen. Harry’s eyes shoot up to him, then he looks in the direction of the living room, a smile tugging on his lips as he probably remembers what photo you must have just seen.

“Uh, yeah. Yes I did, when I was about 21 or 22.”

“I could hardly believe that was you in the picture, with the long locks and the skinny jeans,” you tease him.

“Yeah, I was a lot different then, but after all, it’s been an entire decade since then,” he sniggles.

“Why did you cut it?”

“Um, I was pretty new in the business back then and had a few assholes telling me that it’s not too masculine and all that. It was a time when I cared more about others’ opinion than I should have so I kind of gave in and cut it.”

“I’m sorry they ruined it for you. But I’m glad you don’t care about others that much now,” you smile at him softly. Harry’s eyes flicker down to his painted nails and ring-clad fingers and you just know what he is about to ask before he even speaks up.

“Does it… bother you? That I paint my nails and stuff?”

“No,” you shake your head confidently. “Not at all. I mean, I never saw you without them, but at this point I think it wouldn’t even feel right,” you add with a small laugh that brings Harry’s smile back as well. Stepping closer you kiss his shoulder softly before turning your focus on the food in front of you. “So, let’s peel these bad boys!”

It’s the first time you and Harry actually work together in the kitchen for more than just five minutes. He is always in control at home, taking over everything with Izzy and you know it’s a good bonding time for them, so you never even tried to push your way into it without their invitation. But now the bonding is all about you and him and so far you’ve been a great team. The cutest thing is that he brought you matching aprons to protect your clothes and you look like you are in some cooking show for sure.

You keep asking questions from each other while working on the food, Harry asks you some more about your childhood and teenage years and he shares stories from college where he had this friend group of five. Niall was part of the group as well and he said he is still in touch with the other boys, but they all do very different things now, the other three are already fathers themselves and live far away, so they don’t get to see each other that much.

You are making the little dumplings while Harry is on duty for cooking them, relentlessly fishing them out of the boiling water once they swim up to the top. When that’s done, Harry starts making the sauce while you take care of the brownies. It all works out well, everything gets done easily and while the dessert is in the oven you start eating what you just created.

“Mm, this sauce is really good!” you hum when you take the first bite.

“It’s my mum’s recipe,” he smiles proudly.

At the beginning of the evening you could tell that he felt nervous, not essentially about being with you, but probably because of the thought of going on a date in general. But as time passed by and he got more and more comfortable in the situation, you could see him loosen up and calm his nerves, so now that you are eating the dinner you made together and drinking a glass of fine wine, talking about anything and everything, you feel like he is actually enjoying something he was probably terrified from before.

When the brownies are done the two of you take advantage of the nice evening weather and Niall’s amazing balcony, moving out to the lounge chairs, munching on the dessert with the skyline of the city in front of you. At one point you start playing a game of would you rather, and after a while you ask each other the most random things, cracking each other up continuously. You don’t even realize and it’s already past ten, you completely talked the evening away, but you don’t regret any of it.

You clean up Niall’s place, leaving it just the way you got it, putting some leftovers into his fridge for him as a thank you for lending you his place before you head out.

Harry keeps a hand on you at all times on the way home, he is either holding your hand over the console, or rests his palm on your thigh above your knee, but either way, he just keeps the physical touch up always. Not that you mind, you are doing kind of the same, enjoying his closeness.

Arriving home you can feel a kind of tension growing, but not a bad kind. You want him. Your desire to go further than just kissing has grown immensely tonight, but you have no idea how he feels about taking it further and you don’t want to push him past his boundaries.

“Want to… sleep with me again?” he shyly asks when you’re going up the stairs.

“Yeah, I would love that,” you smile at him, giving him a quick peck on his cheek.

When you part ways in the hallway he probably expects you to do your night time routine, but you have other plans. Grabbing your polaroid camera you pad your way over to his room, knocking on the door, hoping he is not in the shower yet. When he calls out for you, he is standing at his dresser, the first few buttons of his shirt are already undone, but he is still dressed.

“I just thought that… we could snap a picture as a nice memento of our first date,” you shyly explain to him, holding the camera up.

“Oh, yeah! Okay, how do you... how should we…?” he looks around the room and you step to his dresser, placing the camera to the top of it.

“It’s got a timer,” you explain as you set it up and tell him where to stand so you can check if he is in the frame. When it’s all set, you glance back at him. “Ready?”

“Yeah,” he nods shyly. You push the button and step back to him. “What should we…” he starts, but you already know what you want the picture to be like.

Cupping his face in your hands you pull him down and kiss him sweetly, for the first time tonight. You’ve noticed he hasn’t tried to kiss you all night, being a gentleman, but you’ve been craving it since he showed up at your door with the roses.

He hesitates for a moment, but eventually curls his arms around you, kissing you back softly. The timer goes off and the flash indicates that the photo has been taken. Pulling back you smile at him before taking the photo from the camera, setting it to the side to develop. Harry steps behind you, his arms coming to curl around your waist and you turn in his hold to face him.

“Hi,” you smile at him giddily. “Thanks for today.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” he answers softly, making your heart flutter. You press your lips at his, kissing him hard and passionate, like you wanted all evening. He is quick to return the kiss with just as much passion as you put into it, his hands finding your waist as he slowly pulls you with him until the back of his legs hit the bed. He sits down and pulls you with him so you sit on his lap straddling him, never breaking the kiss as you settle in his arms, his hands roaming up and down your back.

Your kisses move from his delicious lips to his chiseled jawline and down his neck, your fingers working on the buttons of his dress shirt. You want him, you need him, he is all you can think about and the taste of his skin on your tongue is making you lose your mind.

His hands move up your thighs right to your bum, giving it a good squeeze, making you moan against the crook of his neck.

“Fuck,” he growls, throwing the two of you to the bed, getting on top of you before his lips attack yours, kissing you with a demand heatedly. His lips move smoothly against yours, devouring you with every suck and lick, making you dizzy in the head with such little effort.

He starts kissing down your neck, through your collarbone and whatever is showing in your dress on your chest. Your fingers lace through his messy curls, keeping him close to you as you try to control your moans and gasps. His fingers hook under the thin straps of your dress and he is about to pull them down when he stops, breathing heavily against your skin.

Harry lifts his head, his eyes meeting yours as he is panting through his parted lips and you cup his cheeks in your hands.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Talk to me,” you tell him softly, knowing well his mind is probably racing right now.

“I just…” he starts quietly. “I haven’t been with anyone since… Maggie,” he admits in a whisper and your gaze softens on him.

“And I haven’t been with anyone since Keith,” you admit truthfully. “We don’t have to do anything tonight. I’m fine with just sleeping if that’s all you want to do.”

“No, I want to… I want to do things, I just… I’m not used to it, I guess,” he breathes out as you run your fingers through his hair.

“It’s okay. We can take it slow. Whatever you feel comfortable with,” you assure him pecking his lips softly.

“Is it… Is it okay if we just… touch?” He is clearly feeling a bit embarrassed to ask, but you will not make him feel bad for asking for whatever he wants. Pulling him down for another kiss you smile up at him.

“Touching is perfect. It’s all up to you,” you tell him and see the gratitude in his eyes right away.

Removing yourself off of his lap you climb back on the bed, pulling him with you until he is holding himself up above you. Your eyes meet for a second again before leaning down he kisses you slowly, taking his time with you. He is holding himself up on one arm while his other hand finds your hip, gently squeezing it when his tongue slides into your mouth through the kiss. Your hands move down his chest and you start unbuttoning his shirt until it falls open and he shimmies it off with a soft chuckle.

“Let’s get rid of the dress too,” you breathe out, reaching down for the hem of your dress, pulling it up until it’s off, leaving you in only your underwear. You’re wearing a matching set with a strapless bra and as you lie back on the bed Harry’s eyes basically devour you, his gaze running up and down your body several times.

“You’re so beautiful, Y/N,��� he breathes out before leaning down and kissing you again, his hand cupping your side before wandering over to your stomach and up to your chest. He runs his hand over your chest, gently squeezing it, making you moan into the kiss.

“And you’re wearing too much clothes,” you grin as you reach down and start undoing his purple pants you ogled him quite often tonight. Harry chuckles as he holds himself up for you to work the button and the zipper on his pants before he takes over the task and gets rid of them himself, leaving him in only his boxer briefs and you have to hold yourself back from gasping when you see the growing bulge between his legs.

You don’t get to eye him for too long, because he is back to kissing you, his body pressing up against yours as you let your hands roam his strong back, his skin burning under your touch. His lips travel down the line of your neck to your chest and his hand snakes behind your back, but he stops before he could do anything with the clasp of your bra. Glancing up at you he gives you a questioning glare, asking for your permission.

“You can take it off,” you softly tell him nodding. His fingers are quick to undo it and a moment later you’re lying with a bare chest underneath him. His hand moves to your chest again and he kneads your breast again, this time with nothing between your skin and his palm. You whimper under his touch, you’ve been so starved to be touched this way and now that it’s happening, it’s hard to control yourself, but Harry doesn’t seem to mind seeing you react to what he is doing.

His lips return to your mouth and while he kisses you with so much passion, he slowly lays himself down next to you, so you’re facing each other sideways on the bed. He pulls you closer to him until you’re flushed against his hard chest and while your hand roams around his shoulders and back, his palm slides down your spine, over your waist until he calms bum, pushing you even closer to him. His clothed erection presses against your thigh and you can’t help but whimper his name at the feeling.

His kisses slow down and his touch loosens on you until he pulls back, seemingly just for air, but you can tell his head is starting to race again, spiraling thoughts taking over his mind.

“Do you want me to take over control?” you softly ask him, pushing his unruly curls out of his forehead. His gaze softens and he nods shortly with gratefulness lacing through his look.

He watches you intently as you push yourself up into a sitting position, he rolls to his back and keeps his gaze on you as you hook your fingers into your panties, getting rid of them before doing the same for him with his boxers. He lifts his hips up as you pull down the elastic material, revealing his hard cock to your greedy eyes. You want nothing more than to taste him, but he said he just wants to touch so you don’t try to overstep his limits, leaving this desire of yours to another time. Instead, you lean down, capturing his lips in a sweet, reassuring kiss that everything is going fine to calm his nerves as much as you can, while you place your palm to his lower stomach, moving down slowly until you find his hard cock, wrapping your hand around his length and giving it a few gentle stroke.

“Fuck,” he breathes out against your parted lips and you can’t push a smile down.

You kiss his lips, his cheeks, his jawline, everywhere around his face while you keep pumping him, spreading some of his precum down his length to help your hand move smoother. Your actions awaken something in him, he grabs your face in both his hands, kissing you hard before he pushes you to your back, becoming the one on top. He parts your legs with pushing a knee between your thighs and while you keep up with your motions, he gets down to action as well. One of his large palms runs down your abdomen, stroking your lower belly gently before it moves to your inner thigh, spreading you even more for him before you feel his touch on your heated and dripping wet core. First, he just teasingly runs two fingers through your folds, testing how wet you are and when he realizes that you are more than ready to whatever he has planned, he moves his thumb to your sensitive clit, drawing circles with the pad of his finger, sending a wave of pleasure up your spine immediately.

“Harry!” you moan his name, running your thumb over the head of his cock that makes him gasp and stop his motions for a moment before he returns to pleasuring you.

He buckles his hips into your touch while his fingers move down from your clit until he is teasing your entrance, just circling around it but not pushing into you. Rolling your hips you signal him that you want the teasing to end and he luckily gets the hint, slowly sliding two fingers inside you, curling them gently and it makes your eyes roll back immediately. He rests his forehead on your shoulder as he starts moving his fingers in and out of you while you try your best to keep up your pumping motion as well, moving your other hand to his balls to give him some of that extra pleasure and he seems to be liking what you’re doing, because your name keeps falling from his lips as keeps fingering you, curling his digits just the right way inside you from time to time.

“Fuck, Y/N, I won’t last long,” he pants, his lips brushing against your neck before he kisses the soft skin above your collarbone.

“It’s alright. Just want you to feel good, H,” you assure him, though you’re getting closer to your release as well.

“Are you close?” he asks out of breath, still holding himself up above you, leaning onto his other arm next to your head.

“Yeah, don’t stop,” you nod, turning your head so your lips could meet for a kiss again.

You can tell he is trying hard to hold himself back, to stretch it out as long as he can. A torturous look tugs on his face and you kiss his temple, wanting nothing more than to see him finally reach the peak.

“Let go, H. It’s alright,” you whisper against his skin and he whines at your words before you feel his cock jerk in your hand and he cums under your touch.

You keep stroking him as he rides his high, gasping and panting your name while he spills his semen onto your naked stomach. His fingers stopped moving inside you as he found his relief, but as soon as you feel him recovering from his orgasm, he goes right back to where he left it, desperately wanting to pleasure you as well.

“Harry!” you moan when he hits a specific spot inside you, tingling your nerves just right, your hands come to clasp onto his broad shoulders.

“Cum for me, babe. Let me see you feel good,” he whispers before his lips occupy your mouth again, kissing you with so much passion and vigor, your senses are starting to overload.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum!” you gasp feeling your toes curl and Harry picks his pace up, his thumb coming in contact with your clit as he tries to make you reach your high.

And then it finally happens. You stop breathing for a moment, the intensity of it washing over your whole body. It’s been so long since you felt this good with anyone, and just the thought of doing this with Harry probably adds a lot to the equation.

He slows his fingers down, but makes sure to curl them inside you every time he pumps them in, and you repeat his name over and over again until you finally catch your breath. Your gaze meets his, and you see a happy and satisfied shine in his green irises as he leans down and kisses you sweetly, pulling his fingers out of you gently.

“M’gonna get a towel,” he murmurs, pecking your lips one last time before he gets up from the bed and walks into the bathroom while you lie on his bed, totally gone and worn out from your orgasm. Harry comes back with a damp washcloth and cleans up the mess he made on you before gently moving to between your legs, taking such good care of you. He drops the cloth to the floor, not wanting to leave the bed again as he pulls the covers over your bodies, pulling you into his arms.

“How are you feeling?” you softly ask, pecking his toned chest.

“I’m good.”

Lifting your head you search for his eyes, wanting to make sure he didn’t regret any of it, but he seems calm and rested for a change. Smiling up at him you push yourself up a little so you can connect your lips before you snuggle back to his side and let yourself slowly drift off to sleep, listening to his steady heartbeat under your face.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

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[aipomtrainer]

Superpowers AU

“Probation” Part 1

Noah would remain in the headquarters with Harold for a long time after his incident that resulted in him joining the team. He’d provide little support to the team aside from what he could do from his room or the headquarters in general. Luckily, he had friends who would force him into a system of spending time with them (or suffering for not doing so later). With Izzy’s ability to shapeshift into insects, he didn’t want to chance not joining her, Eva, and Owen for their usual movie nights.

With newer recruits, however, he’d face some critique about his lack of contribution to helping gathering remaining former contestants whose powers should also be manifesting. In recent cases, there were now newer victims of Chris McLean’s show, Total Drama, that were also being affected and manifesting powers of their own.

Noah one day spent his time in the common room waiting for Izzy, Eva, and Owen to join him. He chose to relish the quiet while it lasted, but shifted uncomfortably when he heard the thoughts of someone familiar walking into the room. Hoping they’d ignore him, Noah would just continue to stare at the off television screen.

Of course it wouldn’t have worked out that way, with Alejandro choosing to take a seat next to him. Considering the last time these two even spoke was during Total Drama World Tour, Noah didn’t really want to bring up any bad memories. In fact, he was still in the middle of training himself to not become stressed over the past. He noticed the TV remote shaking slightly before he took deep breaths to calm himself.

Of course Alejandro would try to strike a conversation. Of course Noah would try to ignore him, because that’s how Noah’s always been. Not the best with his words, but also with a secondary issue to deal with. He could sense the items in the room that shook slightly with his discomfort. He could hear Alejandro’s thoughts asking what his deal is and why the know-it-all was completely ignoring him. He could hear a slight sincerity in the Spaniard’s thoughts about regretting the way their friendship ended and was hoping for a second chance. Noah almost couldn’t tell the difference between the other’s thoughts and his actual voice.

“Look, I know we didn’t exactly depart on good terms, but... I figured so much time has passed that we could move passed all that? Considering what’s currently going on?” he’d ask.

Noah would try to ignore him further, but it became difficult with the items threatening to float without his control. Suddenly, thoughts were starting to flow into his mind again, and they weren’t his own. What started becoming worrisome was when he realized they weren’t Alejandro’s either. He was starting to hear people who weren’t in the room with him, and that was a red flag.

“I’m going back to my room” Noah would stand suddenly, leaving the handsome Spaniard confused and... hurt?

One of the things they’d both have to learn about their new situation and having powers was that nothing was the same as it was before. Even if they could be friends, Noah would have to train more before it could even possible. All Noah knew was that self-control was only going to be much more difficult with Alejandro around, and if he wasn’t careful, he’d only end up having another incident.

~~~

I think I’ll just post a bunch of Superpowers AU things cuz I love the idea of them basically being in some Headquarters together like the Teen Titans and having to adjust to their powers and living situations. Haven’t really had to think of a power for Alejandro, though...

<3:AT430

[obsidiancreates]

Ed's Sea Cred

(Role Swap AU, with a fun twist later...)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Most Feared Pirate Of The Seven Seas. Ruthless, cunning, a pirate no man has ever crossed and lived to tell the tale of. Evidence of his exploits stain the seas everywhere a ship sails, the waters below filled with the corpses of those who dared approach his ship.

Edward Teach closes the book and sighs. Hopefully those titles will be his someday.

He tucks the book back onto the shelf and splashes the whole thing with lamp oil before setting it ablaze. The ship has been looted for everything else of value, after all. And Izzy told him months ago that luxuries like books aren't very pirate-like to steal. He'd be a laughingstock if he did.

So though he knows his mother would have loved for him to have a small book collection at some point in his life, he walks away from the burning shelf as the rest of the ship's corridor catches fire as well.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"That was a good raid, I think," Ed says as he observes the loot pile. "Should bolster our reputation a bit."

Izzy nods. "Maybe it's time we visit the Republic. See what's being said about you."

"Not a bad idea. Can pick up more crew, too. Think I heard a couple of them talking about mutiny."

"Want me to take care of it, Captain?"

"Yeah. Make it quick, though. Show that they're less than worthless and all that, I dunno. Make it intimidating."

"Right, sir."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay... so maybe he allowed himself one book. Just one. One book... about the most feared pirate alive. Already known as the most feared pirate in history, because none can imagine a pirate could ever come around more worthy of title.

One book, about The Gentleman Pirate.

Sometime he reads it before he sleeps. It's a short book, because there's no firsthand accounts except for those who left his crew on good terms, and they seldom said much about him, if they spoke of him at all. Probably to keep those terms as good ones.

It's mostly a collection of myths, really.

He never gets dirty, no matter how much blood is shed. He can destroy a vessel without ever boarding it. He can see an attempted kill coming from miles away and always avoids it and returns it hundred fold. Some say he's not even a man, but a collection of fine silks and metals always seeking fellow fine things to liberate.

Ed doubts it. But it'd be interesting if it was true.

He rarely goes aground, so only a few establishments have ever had him inside, and he never goes into taverns. No, he's a Gentleman Pirate. Such places are below him, of course.

Some say he's the ghost of an aristocrat who drowned at sea at the hands of pirates, and has become one as a revenge. Ed think that one's stupid, not even interesting like the living silk one.

He closes the book and tucks it under his floorboard. When he'd stolen this ship it was pretty banged up, and he'd left some pieces of it in disrepair. Both for the intimidating aesthetic, and for ease of hiding things. Knives, extra guns, extra rations... and his book.

Besides. He's only been a pirate for a little over a year, after a long life of poverty and servitude finally made him just snap. So the older his ship looks, the more experienced foes and new crew presume he is.

After all, who would serve under a middle aged man who became a pirate on a whim? Idiots, that's who. So to not attract idiots, he has to look the part.

Luckily he's got Izzy. Man's an experienced pirate, and a good guide. Even if he's harsh sometimes in his... advice. But a pirate's life is a harsh one, so it's tolerated.

For now.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What's this?"

"Oh, just some gossip we heard at the port. Yeah, this one is from Jim, they heard there's some new pirate around making a big name for himself."

"Really? Tell me about him, then!" The Captain smiles widely, ready for a good story.

Lucius sighs and thinks. "Um... I think they said the guy is around your age, maybe a little older."

"Oh, excellent! I do hate seeing young folks get wrapped up in this sort of business."

"Um. Aha. I'm-I'm young."

"Yes, but you were already a pirate when we met. It's different."

"I mean, he probably was too, this guy. Not like someone just becomes a pirate captain out of nowhere, so."

"It could happen, I think, with enough passion, oh, and zest for adventure! What else have you all heard?"

Lucius blows out a breath. "I think he's trying out names right now? No-one really had a name to give us other than his beard was dark and he had like, a lot of tattoos, and some weird leather outfit with like, only one sleeve."

"Oooh, a rough-cut type! I like it!"

"What else, um... very fierce, apparently. Already has a lot of respect among most of the community, I guess. Good things all around, cold-blooded killer and all that."

"Really? Wow, and how long has he been around for?"

"Like a year or something."

"Only a year, and people already like him?"

"Yeah I guess, and um, someone heard they're on their way to the Republic soon."

"They are? Well, let's head that way as well!"

"... Really?"

"Yes! I want to meet this new up-and-comer!"

"What if he's um... a bit rude?"

"We'll deal with that if it arises. But I have a good feeling about this! Onto the port of the Republic!"

[beclynn-herondale]

Jace, Kit, and Mina shenanigans

Jace was visiting with Kit; Clary was spending time with her mother and Luke, as she always did when Jace went on his monthly visit to Kit. And they would tell each other all about their day when they went to bed together that night.

Jace would never have said it out loud but he wanted Kit to rely on him and need him, he wanted to be needed by him. He wanted Kit to trust him, but more than that he wanted Kit to know he really did care for him.

Tessa had also recently had her baby, Mina. She had said Jace should come by and meet her.

Tessa and Jem were good people, and Jace just hoped Kit wouldn't be like he was and push away from his found family, and hold them at a far distance. But he remembered people had to follow their own journey and learn things for themselves. He just wanted Kit to be happy. But Jace also knew, like him, Kit had some baggage and it made it difficult.

"Jace?" said Kit. They were sitting at the kitchen table drinking tea.

"Yeah. . .?" he said, realizing he hadn't been listening for the last few minutes.

"You didn't hear what I said, did you?" Kit sighed.

"I was zoning out thinking of interesting things," he teased.

"Probably not that interesting, considering it's you," Kit shot back playfully.

Jace grinned. This kid would be just fine, he thought.

"So," said Jace, "you're a big brother now."

"Yup. And I'll be great at it."

"There you go. There's the Herondale in you."

Kit stared at him with amusement, then said, "Tessa says you should hold Min Min."

"Min Min? Is that a  another nickname of hers?" If so Jace had to admit it was very cute.

"Yes. She has many nicknames," said Kit. "Because she is adorable."

"Kids and babies usually are."

Kit looked up. "You like kids, don't you?"

"They're alright."

Kit looked at him suspiciously. "Uh, huh." He then asked. "Well, are you and your hot fiancée Clary gonna have any?"

Jace choked on his tea. "What—what?" He thought he was probably flushing, as Clary always made him do even when she wasn't around. And Kit calling Clary that should be weird but he wasn't wrong, Clary was hot and his fiancée.

"Just saying, I'd make an amazing babysitter," Kit winked. "And I could teach your children all about memes and the future stuff, as well as turn them into my side. along with Mina. of course. They would be the best generation yet."

"Pffft," Jace let out.

It's true Jace and Clary had talked about having kids, but it was never a definite serious talk. Though Jace did want kids. "Why are you asking me this?"

"No reason."

"Uh, huh," he said. That was their thing, 'Uh, huh.'

Jem walked in then, holding who Jace assumed was Mina. "Hello, Jace," said Jem. "How are you?" He was smiling the warm smile that he he always had these days; Jace had thought it was the kind of smile that made you want to open up and trust. Jem was that kind of person who radiated kindness and warmth and goodness.

"I'm doing just fine," he said. "What about you?"

"I am amazing," he exclaimed. "Silly melon, is so beautiful and precious." Another cute nickname, he thought. "Would you like to hold her?" Jem asked.

"I. . .uh. . .sure," Jace said, hearing the unsureness his own voice, not knowing why it was there. Jem placed Mina in his arms; he couldn't help but remember holding Max for the first time, remembering that for the first time he had been absolutely terrified. Babies had always seemed so small and fragile to him, and at that time he had no idea how they worked. Of course, after Max Jace figured out that as he had said, they were tough. Max was not so little anymore, and now was on about killing all the demins, Jace was a very proud uncle. He looked down at Mina, she looked like Jem, he thought, but he could see Tessa as well. "Hello, Mina," he said.

The baby opened her eyes, looking up at Jace with an expression of curiosity. well, he assumed that's what it was. "curious are we?"

"She is," Kit put in. It was such a sibling thing, he thought.

Jem was watching the three of them with fondness, and a little sadness. Jace wondered if he was thinking of his parabatai Will Herondale; Jem had told Jace about him, and couldn't imagine not having Alec or being alive without Alec. It had made Jace feel a deep kind of sympathy for Jem.

Jace repositioned Mina in his arms so he could look her in the eyes. "So," he said. "Are you going to prank and trick your big brother?"

Kit stuck his tongue out at Jace, and Jace rewarded Kit by sticking his own tongue out right back at him.

Mina giggled, Jace felt his heart skip a beat. He'd made her giggle. It reminded Jace of hearing Max giggle for the first time, it had instantly defeated Jace, in a sense. Blueberry had had a place in Jace's heart from the beginning, Jace couldn't help but want to protect him, it had been the same with Rafe, and even young Emma and her braveness. And Jace thought it would probably be the same with Kit and Mina; he had a soft spot for kids. He had also realized that he had cared for Max, his little brother, the same. But that was a place that Jace tried not to venture to, as it only broke his heart all over again. Jace remembered how Izzy had told him that Max died clutching the toy soldier he'd given him all those years ago, it had shaken Jace. Max's death would always leave a missing piece in their family.

"I take that giggle as a yes," he said.

Jem laughed softly.

"Or," Kit said, "we might prank you endlessly and be chaotic rascals that haunt you."

"Bring it on, Kittiroo," Jace said, using the nickname he had for Kit. Knowing it was longer than his actual nickname but he gave a nickname to kids he liked. And Kit liked it, but would never admit it, ever.

"Whatever, Jacey Jace," he said.

They laughed.

——————

[ Two years later ]

Mina was now two, which meant her and her big brother Kit were up to no good when they came to visit or Jace went to visit them.

They both enjoyed playing tricks on Jace. And to think he made them cookies and tea. And played piano for them.

Jace was walking down one of the Institute corridors, looking through the open doors along their walls, trying to see if he could find the little trouble makers.

He was peering through one of the empty rooms when something came up behind him and said "Boo!"

He turned around, pretended to be scared as he saw it was little Mina. "Oh, you got me," he said.

She laughed. "I always get you."

He smiled at her. "Where's Kit?"

She shrugged.

"Little loyal one, you are," he said. "But if you tell me where he is, I'll give you a cookie."

Mina seemed to be considering this. "Come," she said.

Mina led him to another empty room, where they found Kit.

"Traitor!" he said.

"It's not her fault—" Jace began.

"Not Mina. You," Kit pointed. "I know you bribed her with cookies. You know we can't resist cookies."

"What can I say," said Jace. "I'm a master at bribery."

"Uh, huh," Kit said with a kind of sassy sarcasm. Kit also said 'Uh, huh.' in a way to say he is amused but very doubtful

"Hey, man. I can't help it, cookies are good," said Mina.

"It's not your fault, Min Min," said Kit. "It's the bad man's fault."

Jace gasped in pretend hurt. "The very implicaction of that is hurtful."

"Good," Kit said.

And Jace went over to lift the boy up. "You forget I'm bigger and stronger than you."

"No!" exclaimed Kit, but he was laughing, and Jace always liked to hear him laugh out loud.

"Fight him off, Kit," said Mina.

They ended up wrestling on the floor with Mina cheering for Kit like the loyal sister she was. Them when they were both tired they burst into laughter.

——————

Kit, Jace, and Mina were sitting on a couch while Jem talked about reincarnation; 2 old Mina wore a serious face for her age.

"You see this is why I believe in it so strongly," said Jem, beaming.

"Yes, I see," said Jace.

"It is interesting," Kit said.

Mina nodded.

"Just think about it," Jem said, "you come back in a different form or something new after you die."

Jace wasn't sure he wanted to do this again, and by the look on Kit's face it appeared he felt the same.

"So is that why I'm so exhausted?" asked Kit, "because I've lived so many lives? And keep doing this shit again?"

It was a fair question to ask, Jace thought.

"Kit, no," said Jem. "And don't say that word in front of Min Min."

"Alec says something like that to me all the time," Jace put in. "Except it's usually 'Jace no!'"

"Yeh, well, you're both chaotic dum dums," said Mina.

They all looked at her.

"Wat?" she said.

Jem seemed to be wearing a look of amused agreement.

She was two and yet so smart, and had so many words at times.

"I prefer the term not afraid to take chances," said Jace.

"It's a Herondale thing," put in Kit.

Jace grinned at him. "There you go, bud."

Mina rolled her eyes, she also had a lot of sass for her age. Jem stared at them with a sort of affectionate exasperation.

——————

Jace was sitting beside Kit while he showed him memes and what they meant. Mina came to sit down beside them.

"Jace," she said.

"Yeah, Mina?"

"So you're like my great kind of nephew, right?"

"Great great great or something, yeah."

"So than I am like your great something aunt?"

"Yeah. . ." This would never not be weird.

"Does that mean I get to boss you around?"

Jace didn't know what to say to this.

Kit looked up from his screen. "Wait, does that mean technically I'm your adoptive great something uncle, now?"

"I. . ." Jace had to admit he didn't know what to say to any of this. "Are you two trying to confuse me?" he asked.

They both grinned mischievously.

Jace sighed.

"Hey, dear Nephew," Kit said. "Make me some cookies."

"Dear Nephew," Mina added. "Get us tea."

"You two think you're hilarious."

"Wrong," said Kit, "we know we're hilarious."

"Yeah well," Jace said, pulling them both into the hug, "I'd like to see you get free from my hug."

"No!" They both exclaimed, then tried to get free which turned into laughter from them all.

——————

Jace heard his phone buzz. He looked at it and saw that it was a message from Kit, he'd sent Jace a meme. Jace didn't always understand them, but apparently they were like jokes. He replied with laughing emojis. 

He exited his messaging app and stared his phone background; it was a picture of Max, Rafe, Mina, and Kit in the art room with Clary, who was teaching them to paint. He smiled at it. It was odd to say, but they were his kids in a way and he felt this strong urge to protect them from the world that would try to shut out their light.

He remembered the first time Kit had seen he'd taken picture and used it as his phone background. Kit looked surprised, as if he couldn't think of why Jace would do that. Jace ruffled his hair and quoted one of his memes to him that day. Kit liked to communicate with memes, and so Jace tried his best. Kit had also called Jace a mom a few times, though he wasn't sure why.

His phone buzzed again. This time it was Emma, her message said, "We need to form the sword-blondes club *winking emoji*" Jace couldn't help but laugh, then replied, "The world would've be able to handle that."

He had so many kids and young people who were dear to him now. Sometimes he thought back to his old self, who didn't have much of anyone and who believed that love was weakness. But now, when he looked at these kids, he knew that was lie. Now, he knew he was strongest because of love. He barely remembered it, but thought about the time he first met Jem, he'd been Brother Zachariah then. He'd told him, 'We fight best when that which we love is on the line.' or something along those words. It made Jace smile, to think somehow all this connected, the universe was a strange thing.

He then looked down at the engagement ring on his left ring finger. At some point him and Clary would work toward building a family, and have kids of their own. It both excited and frightened Jace; he wanted to be a father, of course. But he didn't want to snap one day and see his father come out, he didn't want his children to ever have to see something like that. Clary told him he wouldn't be like that, and she was always right, usually. These kids in his life now though, he felt were proof that he could be a good father.

He opened his phone back up and texted Kit a meme.

He was rewarded with, "Well, I'll be damed. He's learning!"

Jace replied with, "Watch your language."

"You watch your own language, Mr. acts like my parent."

Jace laughed. Kids were so odd yet so precious, they were the future, he thought.

Tagging: especially @khaleesiofalicante because she is having Jace and Kit feels, and I think she'll appreciate this. @chibi-tsukiko @spotsandclawsthings @megs-readstoomuch @magnus-the-maqnificent @replayfootsteps @my-archerboy @jazzkaurtheglorious @simply-ellas-stuff @bookfast-at-tiffanys

[phantom-ellie]

The Man who Forgot: Chapter 1

Click Here for CW Warnings/Full Chapter List

Our Flag Means Death fic for Whumptober 2022. Day 5: Hyperthermia.

Sometimes when I start a sentence I think of a brand new thing to say in the middle and start that

Sometimes, listen, sometimes, sometimes the words don't quite come the fuck out right but it's all there, right there, right in my head, if you could only see it instead of me having to

Sometimes I have to share a thought, and I have a lot of fucking thoughts, long thoughts, so many ideas, and sometimes I need to share them there, now, I can't wait for anyone else to finish

Sometimes I forget things. I turn around and they're gone. I can't put things in drawers, they might as well be in the fucking sea, man, in drawers things don't exist. It needs to be spread out before me. That's why I'm so fucking great at what I do. The world, the whole world is spread out before me. I can sail to and fro, I can pillage or take, I can go away, come back, I can forget.

Sometimes forgetting is the best thing about being me.

But not today.

Because I fucking forgot.

I had a lot on my mind, and a mind like mine always has a lot on top of it, you know. Overflowing with stuff, real brilliant shit. Everyone is very impressed by the shit that comes out of my mind. Except Izzy, Izzy is never impressed. Izzy doesn't want to hear about it. Izzy is so fucking boring.

Izzy had to go, he chose to go, he was going to hurt- he was going. I had to say goodbye. Izzy is my friend, after all. He helps me concentrate, helps me decide what needs to be done and what can be put aside. What skills I need to use and which ones are useless, but they're all equal in my head, you see. Everything has one voice, the same pitch. Everything I feel courses through me, fighting for attention. I've always felt too much, but I've never been enough.

Only recently I've been thinking, I've been thinking a lot more than usual. I've been thinking that maybe Izzy picks the wrong things to focus on. Maybe those things don't make me happy. Maybe there are other ways to be happy. Maybe I can just be who I am, maybe I'm just fucking fine like this, the way I am. Maybe I'm enough without pretending. It's just a thought, an experiment I'm doing. The experiment was going pretty damn well, before tonight. Or maybe even after the night started. I made a friend, after all. Someone who saw past the noise and didn't mind the focused me, the violent me, the successful me, and wanted to know the inner-me that I don't even know yet. But I wanted to find out.

Izzy fucked it all up, as usual. So he had to go. He was going. Those were the terms, and fuck, he set the terms, so he shouldn't be pissed, right? They were his damn terms.

So he went, and I just had a lot to think about. I had a lot to think about, and I could have talked to Stede but lately I've been a little afraid to talk to Stede, because I'm worried the wrong things will fall out of my mouth at the wrong time. I have a lot of thoughts about Stede. He overflows my fucking brain, sometimes, and I can't control it. Better to think alone.

Except. Except, I forgot. I forgot that his crew was useless. I forgot they wouldn't think to get him down. I forgot that they would wait for me. I forgot to supervise it myself. I forgot that he was even fucking there, because I didn't see him, I was facing away. And when I don't see, I forget.

Sometimes I forget to stay out of the sun. I don't burn too much, but when the sun is too bright for too long it can still be bad for you. You can get dehydrated, you can make mistakes. But I can handle that, I'm seasoned, I'm skilled.

So the sun is blazing in the day time, and I'm still thinking, still parsing through what I need to know, what I need to accept, when I remember that it's hot. And I decide to go inside. I haven't seen Stede in a while, I didn't join him for breakfast. He probably didn't want any, was what I was thinking, because he'd been gut stabbed. By my friend, Izzy. But Izzy wasn't really my friend after all. Luckily there's Stede.

So I turn around to head into the galley and fuck me, there's Stede. Still pinned to the mass. Sword sticking out of him and everything. Nobody got him down. I sure didn't get him down. I forgot. How could everyone else forget, too? How could we all forget Stede?

So I run down, I'm yelling at everyone, and fuck it's hot, it shouldn't be this hot this time of year. And Stede is wearing this black jumper, these black trousers, and he's just gone, completely out, held up by this sword sticking into the mast. And I'm yelling, I'm grabbing Stede by the shoulders, and he's fucking hot, and not in that way that creeps into my mind unbidden that I choose to forget about, but hot as in, holy fuck the sun is shining on him and he's pinned through the gut to the fucking mast! Fuck!

And I'm grabbing his shoulders and shaking him, and he doesn't open his eyes, not even once, which is bad. And I'm trying to tug out the sword, but it broke off at the end because Izzy's a moron, and that is bad. And the rest of the crew has no idea what to do about this or any fucking other thing, and that's very bad.

So I'm calling for the cook to bring his shit, his people-sewing shit or whatever, because Stede can't die. He's my friend. I don't have any others, everyone else is a dick. I'm feeling like a dick, because Stede needed me and I forgot. But Roach is coming up with his shit and I'm wrapping my arms around Stede and pulling him off the end of the fucking sword like taking a cooked rat off a fucking skewer, and he's just limp in my arms, and there is blood everywhere. All over me, all over the deck, all over Roach. And probably all over Stede, but you can't see it because of the black he's wearing, and fucking shit that doesn't help because he's hot and dying and this is the second fucking time I've almost lost him this way. It isn't cool.

I need to get my shit together.

Chapter 2

[possibilistfanfiction]

Okay Elsa is annoying but … any Elsa thoughts on the future?

i also agree that elsa is annoying but u know shes a good mom honestly. also we all know casey is non binary in our hearts so. here's something i guess :) also on ao3

////

the morning gates stay open (i’d be there)

/

i’m born to be somebody, then somebody comes from me i’ll tell you about the rabbit moon and when to keep walking

— clairo, ‘reaper’

//

you see izzie — and no one else — waiting for you when you head out of the terminal at lax.

‘hey elsa,’ she says, giving you a hug when you open your arms, even though you’re a little confused. ‘casey’s in the bathroom,’ she rushes to explain, rolling her eyes fondly. ‘they had like six la croixs today, even though i said it was a bad idea, and —‘

you don’t really process much else because then casey is barreling into you, even though ever facetime call has ended abruptly with an adamant refusal to return any sentiment about missing each other. ‘hey mom,’ casey says into your shoulder, and when you back up you have to smile at the sun-kissed freckles and cutoff shorts fraying at the hem, even though it’s february and snowing in connecticut. casey looks happy, and links hands with izzie, who tries to take your suitcase for you before you glare at casey, who sighs and takes it instead.

/

you’ve visited before; you helped both of them move into their dorms, and then you’d flown out with doug for a weekend in october. casey and izzie came home for thanksgiving and winter break, but you have some miles saved up now and casey hadn’t sounded too annoyed at the idea of you visiting for a few days to get out of the cold. they drop your things off at the hotel you booked near campus, and then izzie levels casey with a look and then says, ‘i have to meet with a group for a midterm presentation, but i’ll see you for dinner.’

you give her a hug and she kisses casey easily, quickly, and says, ‘i love you,’ far too seriously for an afternoon apart. you don’t know what’s going on but you think back to what izzie had said earlier — not about casey drinking too many la croixs; listening to rules has never been a strong suit, after all — but, you think, if you were listening, maybe izzie didn’t say her, which might mean—

‘let’s go to the palisades,’ casey says, then starts to ramble nervously about how they’re closer to the west side than laguna or manhattan but not as crowded as the pier, and who wants to be around that many tourists anyway, and there’s a little cafe if you wanted some snacks. you listen patiently and agree to any plans, because it’s a beautiful day and you don’t, actually, want to drive that much in la traffic or be by so many tourists. eventually casey runs out of things to say and turns on the radio to some music you don’t know but honestly don’t think is half bad. the windows are down and the sun is bright and you’ve been to pflag meetings in new haven for over a year now; you think you’ll knock it out of the park if casey tells you anything.

you do stop by the cafe, which is cute, and pick up a few snacks. casey had packed a big beach blanket, one you’d given as a joint gift to izzie and casey for christmas, which makes you smile. casey’s hands are shaking, a little, though, and so you don’t mention that it was, in fact, a great present that apparently they use all the time, according to izzie, who always politely and enthusiastically returns your texts and calls with all sorts of updates.

you sit down in the warm sand near the water and you know casey; sometimes, you just have to wait it out.

‘so.’

‘hmmm.’

casey fiddles with the edge of the blanket and then with some of the fruit you got at the cafe, before staring straight ahead at the waves. ‘i’m, uh. whew. well.’

you don’t laugh, will your body not to. instead, you squeeze casey’s hand, just once.

‘i’m just your kid, okay?’

you sit with that for a moment, try to process what you think casey is saying, but you don’t want to get anything wrong or jump to conclusions. ‘today, at the airport, izzie said they, when referring to you.’

casey sits for a second, shoulders tense all the way up toward the sky, and then says, ‘oh.’

‘i don’t think she was even thinking about it.’ casey nods. ‘but, is that what you’re talking about?’

casey sighs. ‘yeah. i guess. is that — is that okay?’

‘of course it’s okay,’ you say, because it definitely is okay, and also it’s not the most shocking news you’ve heard. casey hasn’t wanted anything to do with femininity, really, for as long as you can remember; you’ve grown used to, and proud, so often, of having a queer child — and another bonus queer child, too, which is what you consider izzie now, no matter what.

casey sniffles and then leans into your shoulder. ‘i know you’re, like, bursting with questions.’

you laugh, just a little, and feel a small smile against your skin. ‘not if you don’t want to answer them.’

‘depends on the questions.’

‘do you have any term you like, or any concept or something? i’ve been doing a lot of reading, and i’ve met a lot of other parents in pflag who have children who are also gender non-conforming, and—‘

‘whoa, slow your roll,’ casey says, but seems to deflate a little in relief. ‘non binary is fine, i guess. i’m just — not a girl. i’m just casey.’

that makes you smile. ‘your name is still casey, then?’

it produces an eye roll but then a begrudging, ‘it’s a good name. i like my name,’ so you’ll take it as a win.

‘i have great taste.’

‘ugh.’

‘you use they/them pronouns?’

‘yeah,’ casey says. ‘but, like, it’s okay if you don’t always get them right or whatever.’

‘no, it’s not,’ you say gently. ‘i’ll try really hard. i’ll get them right. it’s important.’

that produces a fresh round of tears that they try to dismiss by saying the sun is really bright and they have a hangover, which you know is false because casey had been asleep by 9 last night after an all-nighter and cross country the day before. but you let them have it, eat a few grapes and then toss one their way.

it elicits a reluctant laugh but it works all the same. ‘izzie corrects people all the time so she’ll love you more than she already does.’

‘i’m so glad you brought my favorite child into my life.’

‘wow, thanks elsa,’ casey deadpans, but then digs their hand into the sand and smiles. ‘izzie’s been so awesome, with all of this. i really love her.’

‘i know you do,’ you say with a smile, pat their hand.

‘and i’ll tell sam and dad eventually, but i want to tell them in person because sam won’t care, i’m sure, but dad is… you know.’

‘he loves you,’ you assure them. ‘i won’t say anything, of course.’

they look at you suspiciously.

you hold your hands up. ‘i swear i won’t. i know i love to meddle but i would never out you.’

casey sighs and nods. ‘i believe you,’ they say. ‘but, for the record, meddling is your most toxic trait.’

‘yeah, yeah.’

‘i don’t really want to talk about this anymore,’ they say quietly after a few moments. ‘it stresses me out, sometimes.’

‘okay. any time you want or need, though.’

they nod. ‘love you, mom.’

‘love you, casey.’

they pop up off the blanket, then, which whips sand into your face and all the food, and then take off toward the waves, laughing. you let them have a little space for a moment, watching your brave child chase off into the surf, fearless as always.

/

you take izzie to lunch the next day; casey has class during that time and you like to spend time with izzie anyway. she sits straight and proper but you see how she’s relaxed a little too, here, maybe getting to have a childhood for the first time ever. her hair is long and perpetually wavy from her runs by the ocean, and her eyes are bright.

‘thank you,’ she says, ‘for being so good with casey yesterday. they told me that you were awesome.’

‘casey, my child, said those words about me?’

izzie laughs, delicately takes a bite of her quinoa bowl, then shrugs. ‘not those words exactly. but they meant it. and they were so happy this morning, like a weight was lifted or something. i told them they didn’t need to be that anxious to tell you or anything but it’s been a process, you know. i think it’s been hard for a while.’

‘they like to let things stew, don’t they?’

izzie huffs. ‘it’s the worst.’

‘welcome to my world.’

‘casey is… quite the person, that’s for sure.’

‘thank you, too, izzie. for loving them so completely.’

izzie blushes, looks down at her hands. ‘impossible not to, i think.’

you think back to all the times casey has driven you up the wall over the years, the tantrums and fights, and then reach out to squeeze izzie’s hand. ‘impossible not to,’ you agree.

/

casey and izzie come home for spring break, and casey is pacing around and so you order food, send izzie to go get it, who thanks you quietly with a little squeeze to your shoulder.

you sit down on the couch and make sure that sam and doug are actually paying attention and then casey sighs.

‘is this an intervention?’ sam asks when casey doesn’t say anything. ‘i don’t know who it would be for.’

casey sighs again. ‘it’s not an intervention.’

‘okay,’ sam says, ‘good.’

casey tries to still their hands on their thighs and then says, ‘i’m not a girl. or a boy. or anything else, really, i guess. uh, if that makes sense.’

doug looks genuinely baffled but sam just nods.

‘there are many animals that don’t fit into a gender or sex binary. most commonly, it’s referred to as sequential hermaphroditism.’

casey nods contemplatively and your heart warms a little.

‘one of my friends is trans,’ he says, then takes out his notebook. ‘what are your name and pronouns?’

you can tell casey is trying not to cry, but they just clear their throat. ‘uh, casey, and they/them pronouns.’

sam writes something in his notebook and then nods. ‘got it. sibling? is that okay?’

casey is really trying not to cry now. ‘that’s great, sam.’

‘cool,’ he says. ‘is that all?’

‘oh, uh, yeah,’ casey says, ‘thanks, sam.’

‘sure, i’m just glad this wasn’t an intervention,’ he says, then stands and leaves the room without another word.

casey is smiling but then they turn to really look at doug, who has a furrowed brow.

‘i’m sorry, case,’ he says, which might not be the best start, but you’re fully prepared to jump in anytime they need. ‘i don’t — i don’t understand fully.’

he doesn’t sound angry, and he gets up to sit by them on the couch, squeezes their shoulder once.

‘i love you, though, and i guess, uh. you’re my kid. i just want you to be safe and happy. i’ll try to learn, okay?’

casey swallows once, and then again, and then hugs doug tight. ‘please never quote this, and only remember it for your sake and not mine, but mom knows a lot. she can definitely help explain stuff.’

you beam and doug nods. casey rolls their eyes.

’not now, though,’ they say. ‘izzie’s back with the food.’ they flash their phone. ‘she’s just been waiting outside until we were done talking. elsa, i see what you did there.’

‘you’re welcome.’

‘that pizza better not have pineapple or else i’m taking back everything i just said.’

‘extra pineapple, believe it or not.’

casey stomps off, and then makes a little noise of satisfaction from the kitchen when they discover that, in fact, you had actually ordered pepperoni. you hear izzie laugh.

‘so… we don’t have a daughter anymore?’ doug asks, quietly. ‘that’s not what i should call …’

‘them,’ you supply. ‘casey is our child,’ you say firmly, ‘they’re just casey.’

he takes a deep breath and then nods. ‘okay.’

‘we can practice. i’ve been practicing.’

doug looks relieved. ‘okay, good.’ he waits a beat and then laughs, just once. ‘you know, of all the things casey has ever come to us with, even though i don’t understand the details, really, this might be the one that makes the most sense.’

you smile, lace your fingers together. ‘i thought the same thing.’

/

when casey and izzie come home for a few weeks in the summer before preseason training begins, casey has a few more tattoos and a buzzcut and the biggest smile you’ve ever seen. izzie is in a crop top and long, flowing skirt and they’re both as enamored with each other as always, sweet and considerate and happy. you make peace with it all, because casey is kinder by the day, it seems, even to you.

zahid comes over one night and smiles and says, ‘sick shoes,’ to casey and leaves it at that, even though earlier you had told them that you thought they looked like geriatric shoes — not even in jest, you were worried about arch support or something — and izzie had laughed and casey had spluttered, ‘they’re jordans.’

it’s not hard to realize, as the weeks pass, that casey is better than they’d ever been; you’d read that a lot of trans and non binary teams have a really hard time during puberty, especially, and casey had been going through so much on top of trying to process this part of their identity. you fight the urge to wish you had known more then, even though they’re healthy and thriving now, it seems.

they get everyone to help organize a slip n slide in the backyard made with tarps and soap and water, and it’s genuinely hilarious when they set up an obstacle course. for two division i athletes, casey and izzie do terribly, falling all over each other and getting bubbles everywhere. you’re pretty sure casey is wearing a binder instead of a swimsuit or sports bra, and when they finally finish their ridiculous game, they lie back on the grass with izzie.

they’re both breathing hard and laughing periodically, not really talking. you bring them popsicles and it’s been a while since you’ve seen casey look this young.

/

things settle.

you miss your kids, of course, but they seem very genuinely happy. but one night in the fall, you’re just sitting down with a glass of nice merlot, ready to watch the newest episode of the bachelor even though casey relentlessly tells you it’s ‘misogynist garbage’ — which you know, obviously, but it’s mindless — when your phone rings.

it’s casey, and casey never really calls you for a good reason, and your heart jumps in your chest. you put down your wine and pause the tv.

‘case?’

you hear them sniffle on the other end of the line.

‘what’s wrong?’

your mind runs through a million different scenarios, each worse than the last.

‘izzie’s hurt,’ they say, finally, and casey has been known to be a little dramatic so you don’t know how hurt, or what you need to do.

‘what happened, honey? what do you need from me?’

’the trainers are taking her to the hospital for an mri right now but they think she tore her achilles in practice today. i don’t — she was running next to me, just intervals, and then i heard a pop and then she was screaming and — can you come? i’m sorry. they think she might need surgery, i guess, and, i just. please? can you come?’

you put down your wine and walk to your laptop. ‘i’ll look up flights right now, case. i’ll be there as soon as i can, okay?’

they let out what you can tell is a very relieved breath. ‘okay.’

‘i found one that can get me there tomorrow morning. i’ll find a hotel and keep you updated.’

‘mom,’ they say, ‘thank you.’

‘i love you, and i love izzie.’ it’s firm, but you mean it like that: there is no question; you will be there. ‘i’ll see you both soon.’

/

izzie does need surgery, you find out by the next morning when you uber from the airport to the hospital. casey is hunched over in a hoodie, trying to stay awake with a cup of coffee, but izzie smiles sleepily and happily when you come into the room quietly.

‘i’m high,’ she says, giggling a little.

casey rolls their eyes, clearly exhausted, but gets up to hug you tight. izzie squeezes your hand back when you kiss her cheek.

‘you didn’t need to come,’ she says suddenly, a little furrow to her brow.

‘of course i did.’

her lower lip starts to wobble and casey rolls their eyes but huffs a little laugh anyway. it’s an uncharacteristically chilly, rainy day outside and it’s surprisingly easy to convince casey to go back to the dorm to shower and nap for a few hours before they come back in the afternoon. izzie mostly sleeps, but you take careful notes when the surgeon comes to speak to you, because izzie really is out of it and, although they promise to come back and explain things later, you don’t want them to be missing any information. plus, they always process information better when it’s written down anyway.

izzie eventually gets discharged and has to come back a few days later for surgery. you have savings, so you’re lucky enough that you can stay for a bit. izzie is groggy but gets to have an outpatient procedure, and you help casey get her situated back in her dorm afterward. she has a big padded boot on her foot and ankle but you picked up pain medication for her and so she mostly sleeps. casey settles in next to izzie on the small bed and kisses her forehead, then looks at you, eyes big. their hair has grown out so that it falls floppily over their brows; it makes them look young and you have to fight to not want to kiss their forehead or hold their hand.

‘just — thank you, mom.’

/

you leave after a few days because izzie is doing better, taking just tylenol and very coherently getting around fine on crutches and so therefore casey has relaxed as well, their easy smiles back and their posture relaxed, slouched like normal.

they both come to see you off at the airport, casey doting carefully and izzie swatting away any attempts. you kiss izzie’s forehead and then do the same to casey, even though they fake gag.

within a few weeks, izzie is walking again, tenderly at first but then without any pause. casey actually gives you studious updates about her recovery; from what you can tell, they go to every physical therapy session they can possibly make it to. you know izzie has gone to therapy for years, now, and all of the drama from when she and casey first started dating seems to have faded into the background. but injuries are difficult, you think — scary and painful, especially because of what running has been to izzie. but eventually she sends you a selfie of the two of them by the beach, clearly having just run, with fly away hair and casey’s cheeks flushed red, huge smiles squinting into the sun.

/

a year passes, full of holidays and casey complaining about finals and izzie sending you pictures of pies she tries to bake in the tiny dorm kitchen. they run; sometimes when you’re pretty sure they’re a little high, casey will facetime you just to say hello. you and doug help them move into a small duplex together at the beginning of junior year, a bright sunny kitchen and the breeze from the ocean floating through the windows.

casey takes you to get coffee when they visit for thanksgiving — so you know something’s up, because they would never voluntarily spend time alone with you unless they really needed to talk — and when you sit down they smile at you, gently and openly, a rare occasion, and say, ‘i’m gonna have top surgery in the spring.’

you’re not surprised, and you’ve done casey’s laundry enough times when they’ve visited that you know they’ve been wearing a binder most days; you know they love being an athlete, and izzie has sent you enough articles about non-binary athletes in women’s leagues that you know casey has a place in sport.

that this surgery is happening, though, is a little different. you feel scared, because casey is your child, but mostly you feel excited for them. relieved for them.

‘that’s so wonderful, casey,’ you say, and they blink just once and then a grin lights up their face.

they tell you about their surgeon, and the type of surgery they’re going to have, how izzie has gone with them but how, they admit, they would love if you facetimed in for their next pre-op appointment in a few months.

‘can you help me explain it to dad? sam and i already talked, to be honest, because he asked me. which is, like, inappropriate from anyone else, but he’s sam, so it was mostly just so he could research statistics and stuff.’

you laugh, squeeze their hand. ‘i’ll help, absolutely.’

/

you go out to la a few months after casey’s surgery with doug and sam; everything had gone well and casey had cried in joy and relief when they’d seen their chest afterward for the first time, which had set izzie off, which had set you off too. you’re pretty sure doug had even sniffled.

when you’d left, though, they still had bandages and bruising but now it’s almost the beginning of their senior year and when you go to the beach they take their shirt off and then shove sam into the sand with a laugh. sam grumbles but gets up to dust himself off, izzie rolling her eyes as she helps you set out the blanket.

casey races off into the surf, turning back and yelling at all of you to come join them. you always have; you do.

[malecsecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, cuubism!

For @cuubism. I tried to put as many of your likes into this as I could! I hope you enjoy this little sort of case fic <33

Read On AO3

*****

The Curse or the Cure

Magnus and Alec are halfway home from an impromptu trip to the pizzeria around the corner when Alec’s phone rings.

“Hello?” Alec answers, fishing the phone out of his pocket. He’s supposed to be off the rest of the day, the only people who’d be calling him would be Izzy or Jace.

“Alec.” Sure enough, it’s Izzy on the other line.

“Is everything okay?” Alec asks.

Magnus raises a silent questioning eyebrow from where he’s walking at Alec’s side.

“We just received a distress call from the patrol out in Brooklyn.” Izzy tells him, “I’m heading out with a team but you’d get there faster.”

Alec puts up a hand to get Magnus to stop walking, listening to Izzy rattle off an address right around the corner from where they’re at.

Alec is about to hang up when Izzy’s voice changes.

“And Alec, be careful,” she says, voice sounding unsettled. “It sounded bad. I don’t think it was just demons.”

“I’ll be careful Iz,” he murmurs, “promise.”

“Okay,” Izzy replies, “I’ll meet you there.”

When Alec hangs up Magnus sends him a small smile. “Off to save the world on your day off?”

Alec huffs a small laugh, unsheathing his seraph blade, “demons don’t take a day off.”

“Portal?” Magnus asks, already summoning magic to his fingertips.

“Actually,” Alec says, “would you come with? Iz said it wasn’t good.”

Magnus rolls his eyes, sweeping his hands down and creating a portal. “Darling, if you thought I was going to let you walk into a patrol gone wrong without backup, you don’t know me well enough.”

Alec laughs, grabbing Magnus’ wrist as he steps though the portal.

The laugh quickly dies in his throat when they step out into chaos.

The street is flooded with screams of pain and writhing Shadowhunters. It is unlike anything Alec has ever seen before. None of the patrol is left standing.

Alec hurries closer, Magnus on his heels. He kneels down next to Dominic, the patrol lead, Magnus doing the same on his other side.

“What the hell happened?” Alec demands while Magnus places a hand onto Dominic’s chest to try and heal him.

“Ambushed,” Dominic gets out between pained groans, “a warlock.”

Shit. A rogue warlock willing and strong enough to take out an entire team of Shadowhunters did not bode well for them.

Alec sees Magnus’ hands still at Dominic’s words. When Alec meets his eyes there’s something he can’t quite read warring there.

“It’s poison,” Magnus says, voice ragged. He gets to his feet, taking several steps away from Dominic’s body.

Are you sure? Alec starts to ask but cuts himself off when he sees genuine fear flit across Magnus’ face for a brief second.

He wants to reach out to Magnus, to do something to reassure him, but Alec doesn’t know what the hell is going on here and if this is poison, they likely don’t have the time for comfort.

“Do you remember anything about the warlock?” Alec asks, turning away from Magnus with some difficulty, “defining features.”

“Tattoos up his arm,” Dominic gasps out, “slight Italian accent.”

Magnus freezes again, voice hard when he speaks, “Angelo. The bastard. He’s banned from the Western Hemisphere.”

“We need to find him,” Alec says.

Magnus shakes his head, “We need to get these people back to the Institute first. This poison,” he falters, “it’s slow acting but extremely painful and dangerous. We need the antidote. Quickly.”

***

Even once Izzy arrives with backup, it takes them a good half hour to drag the entire patrol through a portal to the Institute infirmary.

Alec stands in the hall outside the infirmary, arms crossed, watching his Shadowhunters writhe on the beds. Medical staff flits from bed to bed but they are of little use. If this is poison like Magnus had said, the only thing that is going to help them is the antidote.

Magnus is pacing the hall Alec is standing in, on the phone with Catarina. Alec tries not to eavesdrop, but Magnus has seemed off since they found the patrol.

“I thought I’d gotten rid of it,” Magnus was muttering down the line, hands gesturing wildly, “I know—I—yes, I have everything at the loft. But—“ Magnus cuts himself off when he sees Alec watching him.

There’s a split second where Alec thinks about looking away and pretending he wasn’t listening. He doesn’t.

“Just go to the loft,” Magnus says into the phone, hanging up and then looking at Alec carefully.

Alec takes a deep breath. “Are you okay?”

Something flashes across Magnus’ face, too fleeting for Alec to understand what it means. He doesn’t answer the question.

“Cat is on her way to the loft,” he says instead. “We have the ingredients to prepare the antidote for the patrol. But we need to find Angelo. There’s a good amount of hideouts he could be squatting at—“

“Give me the locations,” Alec cuts him off.

This is a deflection method Alec has grown used to from Magnus. He starts moving a thousand miles a minute and doesn’t stop for air. Alec isn’t sure why this is hitting Magnus so close to home, but it obviously is.

“Alexander,” Magnus starts and then trails off. His voice loses some of the tension it had when he says Alec’s name but he still looks wound tight, fingers rubbing together absently.

“Magnus, you can’t do two things at once,” Alec says gently. He wants to reach out and still Magnus’ hands, to twine their fingers together and ask Magbus if he’s okay and get an honest answer. He knows that won’t happen though. “I’ll call you when we locate him. I promise,” he says instead.

Magnus seems to deflate just a little bit and nods. “Okay,” he snaps his fingers and a paper appears in his hand. He hands it to Alec.

***

Alec puts the whole Institute to work with the list of locations Magnus had given him so he’s not surprised when it only takes them a couple of hours to locate Angelo.

“We’re pretty sure he’s at the safehouse in Queens,” Izzy says, sidling up beside Alec and handing him the paper with Magnus’ list.

Alec takes the paper, folding it and putting it in his pocket. He can’t get Magnus’ panic out of his head.

He almost wants to just put together a team and go get Angelo himself, but he’d promised Magnus he’d call him. And from the way Magnus had said Angelo’s name, it seems they know each other quite well. Logically, Magnus is the only one of them who knows what they might be walking into. Despite that, Alec still wants to protect him.

He sighs and pulls out his phone, “Start getting a team together,” he tells Izzy, “I’m going to call Magnus and let him know.”

“Alexander.” Magnus’ voice sounds distracted when he answers the phone.

“We found him,” Alec says, “he’s still in New York. Queens.”

Alec hears Magnus put something down on the other line, “Of course he is. The man’s always been dramatic. He’s probably waiting for a fight.”

So Alec had been right. They do know each other well.

“Magnus,” Alec starts carefully, “about Angelo. It would be nice to know what we’re getting into here.”

He doesn’t voice the part about how Magnus had looked scared of Angelo. He’s not sure Magnus would appreciate Alec pointing that out.

There’s a tense moment of silence in which Alec almost regrets asking the question.

“We were friends,” Magnus finally says, “but that was a long time ago.”

“And he’s looking for a fight?” Alec prompts.

Magnus chuckles dryly, no humor in the sound. “Let’s just say that our friendship didn’t end on the best terms.”

“Did it have to do with the poison?” Alec asks before he can stop himself.

Magnus goes quiet on the other line. Alec can hear what must be Catarina moving around in the background of the call.

“The poison,” Magnus finally says, “is my fault.”

“What?” Alec asks, pausing his pacing in the hallway.

“I developed it,” Magnus says, voice hard.

“You developed the poison Angelo used,” Alec repeats slowly, brain trying to catch up with the implications of the statement, “that’s why you knew what it was so quickly.”

“Yes,” Magnus confirms, voice barely a whisper now. Alec can hear the guilt in it even over the phone.

It is at odds with the kind of person Alec would imagine would develop a poison that was slowly and painfully killing Alec’s people in the next room. It isn’t at odds with the kind of person Alec knows Magnus is though. Here and now.

“Magnus—“ Alec starts, only to be cut off quickly.

“It was a mistake.” Magnus says. “And I—we don’t have the time to talk about this right now. The Shadowhunters need to get the antidote in the next few hours if we want them to survive and I haven’t got a clue what Angelo’s plan here is but I’d rather not find out.”

Alec bites his lip. It’s only been a few hours since Alec last saw Magnus but he sounds so tired .

“We can go in ourselves,” Alec suggests even though he already knows Magnus isn’t going to agree with that.

“Cat’s got the rest of this antidote handled. I’ll meet you in Queens,” Magnus says, ignoring the offer, and Alec sighs internally.

“Okay,” he agrees even though it’s not.

***

Magnus is dressed to kill when he meets with Alec and his team. He has on the same shirt he’d had on earlier but he’s exchanged the plain black blazer with a studded mauve coat and an overabundance of jewelry that he hadn’t had on before.

His face is hard when he steps through the portal but he sends Alec a thin smile when he sees him looking at him.

“There are wards up,” Alec tells him as he walks over.

“Not a problem,” Magnus says, “Angelo was never very good at wards.”

Alec wants to ask what Magnus and Angelo used to do together, dealing with poisons and making wards for safe houses but now is not the time.

Magnus turns to the team of Shadowhunters Alec had brought with him for the mission. Jace, Izzy, and Clary stand at the front of the group. Magnus looks at them and then to Alec.

Alec nods at him. Magnus knows by now that Alec doesn’t mind when he briefs his Shadowhunters but he always asks permission first.

“As soon as I bring the wards down, Angelo is going to know. I’m going to try and block his magic as fast as possible but we have to be careful. The poison is magically administered. If you see magic coming at you, get out of the way.”

Magnus’ gaze flicks back to Alec’s for a brief moment and he looks like he’s going to say something but he just lets out a breath instead. Alec realizes beltatedly that Magnus might be worried about him .

Magnus walks by Alec and up to the building. Alec lets himself reach out and brush a hand over his back as he walks by. Magnus’ seems to let himself relax into it for a touch of a second.

The next second he’s stepped out of Alec’s space, every inch the powerful high warlock. Alec watches as he makes a downward motion with his hands, similar to the way he brings down the wards at the loft.

There air ripples with electricity and the ozone smell of magic and then Magnus drops his hands. He doesn’t wait, just walks straight into the building without hesitation.

Alec goes after him, motioning for the team to follow behind.

“Do you have a plan?” Alec asks quietly, adjusting his grip on his bow out of habit as they walk a narrow hallway into the safehouse.

“Does getting the bastard the hell out of my city count?” Magnus asks. Alec doesn’t fail to notice that there’s poorly hidden fury in his voice.

Before he can reply Magnus is yelling “duck!” and pushing Alec down. Alec drops quickly as a burst of magic whizzes over their heads.

Magnus stands quickly, hand glowing blue and throwing his own burst of magic in the direction the other magic had come from.

Alec stays crouched on the ground. “Everyone okay?”

“We’re good,” Jace calls from behind him and Alec nods to himself, standing.

“Well he’s not hiding, at least,” Alec says.

Magnus lets out an amused huff, the first thing that has sounded even near positive since he’d gotten here. Alec sends him a small smile.

Magnus starts forwards again, this time more cautiously. Alec follows his lead, muscles tense and ready to spring into action.

The hallway opens up into a large room. It’s mostly empty save for a shelf against one wall. It’s obvious Angelo hasn’t been here long at all.

The man in question stands in the center of the room. Both his hands glow red with magic. His mouth turns up into a slow smile when he sees them, sending an uneasy feeling into Alec’s gut.

“Magnus Bane,” he says, voice echoing in the room, “What a lovely surprise. Did you enjoy my little gift? You’ve always enjoyed a bit of poison haven’t you?”

Magnus falters next to him and Alec clenches his jaw, torn between wanting to protect Magnus’ honor and not knowing the full story.

“They’ll be dead soon,” Angelo goes on. He ignores Alec and the rest of the team in favor of speaking directly to Magnus, “But you already know that. You—“

Alec doesn’t hesitate this time. He might not know the full story, but he does know that revealing Magnus is behind the poison in front of a team of Shadowhunters who had just seen their friends in unimaginable pain back at the Institute is not going to end well. Alec trusts Magnus, knows the kind of person he is. His Shadowhunters will take any excuse to vilify him. He steps swiftly in front of Magnus, letting an arrow fly.

Angelo’s sentence is cut off by a sharp cry of pain as the arrow lodges itself into his leg. It gives Magnus enough time to recover and he’s hurled a binding spell at Angelo before Alec can make another move.

Tendrils of magic wrap around Angelo’s body, rendering him immobile and unable to use magic. Alec freezes but doesn’t let down his guard.

Angelo just smiles despite his current state. “Is this any way to treat a friend?”

Magnus ignores his comment. “I told you if you came back here that I’d send you straight to the Spiral Labyrinth.”

“Oh dear, so dramatic.” Angelo replies.

“What do you want?” Alec demands.

Angelo turns to look at him, only now acknowledging he’s there. “It’s very simple, Shadowhunter ,” he says, a hatred in his eyes that has Alec holding his breath, “I just want to remind Magnus that he can play nice with you Nephilim all he wants.” His gaze cuts over to Magnus, who is standing stock still, “But he’s still one of us. Always will be.”

Anger lights like fire in Alec. He imagines pulling his seraph blade out and  stabbing it straight into Angelo’s side, no mercy. It takes an incredible amount of self restraint not to go through with it.

Magnus acts in the same moment, reaching out and conjuring a portal that Angelo disappears through. When the portal closes, Magnus quickly sends a fire message and then brushes his hands off theatrically.

He spins on his heel to face the team of Shadowhunters standing behind them and grins. “Well I think that’s done, why don’t we go save your friends?”

It isn’t until everyone turns and starts shuffling back out of the safehouse that Magnus’ posture betrays his true feelings.

He looks like a puppet whose strings have been cut, shoulders slumping and hands balled into fists.

Alec walks up to him and places a careful hand on his shoulder. For a moment, when Magnus turns to look at him he looks heartbreakingly fragile.  

Alec opens his mouth but Magnus has already pulled away, following behind the line of Shadowhunters.

Alec lets out a silent breath and follows him.

Later. They’ll talk about it later.

***

Once Alec has briefed the Institute on the situation he makes his way down to the infirmity to check on the patrol.

Magnus and Cat had administered the antidote while Alec had given his briefing so the infirmary is quiet when he gets there. He stands in the doorway, watching Cat flit from bed to bed along with infirmary staff. Shadowhunters are sitting up in bed now, chatting across the room or sleeping soundly.

It’s a much better atmosphere than it had been only a few hours ago when all of them had been screaming in pain.

“Hey boss!” Dominic calls out when he notices Alec in the doorway.

Alec smiles, stepping into the room. “How are you feeling?”

He pretends not to notice Magnus watching him from the corner of the room.

Dominic leans back into the pillows in the bed. “Exhausted, but alive.” He gestures to where Magnus and Cat stand, “all thanks to them.”

It’s a win, Shadowhunters in his Institute acknowledging the Downworlders who save their asses time and time again. When Alec turns to share the moment with Magnus and Cat it’s to see Magnus hurrying out the door.

He excuses himself from Dominic and makes his way over to Cat. It’s interesting, their relationship. Alec respects Cat and he hopes she respects him as well. But it’s more than that. They share a common trait in that they love Magnus Bane.

“He said he told you,” Cat says without preamble when Alec walks over.

Alec sighs. “A little.”

Cat smiles sadly at him, “take him home.”

Alec nods.

***

Magnus goes straight for the drinks cart when they get back home. Alec watches the tense line of his back for a long moment before he walks up behind him.

“Magnus.” Alec waits until Magnus turns to face him and then brings his hands up to cup both sides of Magnus’ face. “It’s okay. Everyone is okay.”

Magnus shakes his head minutely between Alec’s hands. “It’s not okay.”

“Talk to me,” Alec murmurs, sweeping his thumbs over Magnus’ cheeks and searching his eyes. “Let me help.”

Magnus releases a shaky breath, turning his head so Alec’s hands fall from his cheeks. “Damn you,” he mutters. Alec isn't quite sure he’s supposed to have heard it.

Magnus places his glass loudly back onto the drinks cart. He doesn’t look back at Alec. “You can’t help.”

Alec feels helpless, both wanting to step forwards and gather Magnus into his arms and being worried he’ll be pushed away even further if he tries.

“Okay,” Alec says quietly. It’s hard, realizing that sometimes he can’t fix things. It’s what Alec does. He fixes the problem. It’s how he’s taken care of Izzy and Jace all his life. But with Magnus he’s found that sometimes fixing something isn't an option. “But I’m not going anywhere.”

Alec reaches out and slips his fingers between Magnus’. He tugs only slightly but Magnus jerks forwards suddenly. Their joined hands get crushed between their chests and Magnus’ forehead falls to Alec’s shoulder. His free hand smooths up and down Magnus’ lower back.

They stay like that for a long time. Magnus isn’t quite crying, but he takes small shuddering breaths into Alec’s shirt that break Alec’s heart.

When he finally lifts his face, he looks wrecked. Alec isn’t sure what to say so he brings the hand still tangled with Magnus’ to his lips and kisses Magnus’ knuckles.

Magnus shudders but doesn’t pull his hand away.

“God, I—I’m sorry,” he gets out quietly.

“You don’t have to apologize,” Alec says just as softly.

“I almost got half of your Institute killed. Of course I need to apologize.”

Alec is shaking his head even before Magnus can finish the sentence. “ You didn’t poison them. In fact you caught the guy who did and saved everyone with the antidote.”

“I wouldn’t have had to if I hadn’t made the damn thing in the first place,” he says bitterly, “I was young and I was angry. And I did things I’ll never forgive myself for.”

“Magnus—“ Alec starts, but it seems like some sort of dam has been broken in Magnus because words keep spilling out.

“I didn’t know what I was doing. I just knew I wanted my father’s approval. I wanted so badly for him to think I was worth it. For someone to be proud of me for once.” Magnus lets out a laugh that holds no humor, “And he was. Fuck, he was proud of me. And that’s when I’d realized what I’d done.”

Alec doesn’t say anything, just squeezes Magnus’ hand.

“But it was too late,” Magnus says, “I'd been working on it with Angelo so he knew about it and he refused to wipe out all records of it like I wanted.”

“So you came up with an antidote instead.” Alec guesses.  

Magnus nods. “I haven’t had to use it in years. It caught me off guard. Reminded me of a past I’d rather forget.” He finally looks at Alec for the first time in the conversation. “A past I’d have preferred you didn’t know about.”

There’s hesitance and something like resignation in Magnus’ face now. As if he’s ready for Alec to hate him. As if that was even remotely possible.

“Magnus,” I don’t care about your past. I love you. Here and now. I know who you are. I see it everyday.”

Magnus scoffs but Alec isn’t finished.  He’ll be damned if he doesn’t show Magnus what everyone else sees when they look at him.

“I watch you choose good every single fucking day. You saved my people today. Hell you’ve saved us hundreds of times. You help every person that shows up at your door. You made a mistake. That doesn’t define you.”

Magnus’ eyes are wet by the time Alec finishes and he’s blinking rapidly. This time it’s Alec who is pulled into a hug by their joined hands.

“I love you.” Magnus mutters into Alec’s chest and Alec presses a kiss to his temple. He’s not sure he’s convinced Magnus but this is a start.

“I love you too.”

[sirowsky]

The Flowers Always Know

Description: When a mad scientist uses you as an experiment while you’re on holiday, the Heroics only just manage to save you. And in your recovery you become very close to the leader of the group. (Slow burn)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Language + severe triggerwarning for victims of domestic abuse.

Link to Masterlist

Comment: House-hunting, mole-hunting and Anita-hunting (sort of). And this chapter is like 95% conversation.

Chapter 32

  “Are you serious?”

  “What?”

  “That is way too big… What would we even do with all that?”

  “Hermosa, we fill the space we have. That’s not a euphemism, just a fact. If we have four rooms, we’ll fill those, and if we have twelve, we’ll fill those too.”

  “Who the fuck needs twelve rooms?”

  “It only has eight rooms.”

  “And there are only four of us.”

  “So, that’s it? No room to grow further?”

  “Honey, just how much are you anticipating this little family to grow? That’s a totally serious question, by the way. How many kids would you actually like to have?”

  “If your weird-ass body permits – like… four.”

  “Hey, who are you calling w…… did you just say four?”

  “Yup.”

  “What… including Missy, or… an additional four?”

  “I’m not picky. If we end up with just the two little miracles we have, I’ll still be the happiest man alive, but I wouldn’t mind having a bunch. Five, six, however many our love can create, I’ll be more than happy to nurture and raise and love all of them unconditionally, even when they inevitably pee on me.”

  You had no idea how to answer that, so you just stared at him. But he knew how ambivalent you were about all things concerning family, so he didn’t pose the question back to you, and instead just smiled while he watched the cogs in your mind struggle to fit together.

  “S-six… you’d be okay with another… six kids?”

  “Mhm.”

  “Fuck, Marcus, I’m struggling to even get it into my head that we’re gonna be joined by a tiny fragile infant in about 7 months, how are you already contemplating another five?!”

  “Relax, preciosa, I’m not actively contemplating it, I’m just answering a question. Saying I wouldn’t mind something, doesn’t mean I’m aiming for it.”

  “But you’re looking at houses with eight rooms…”

  “Like I said: we fill the space we have. Rooms have endless usages, it’s not like we have to make all of them bedrooms. We can have home-offices, a separate play-room, a separate dining room.”

  “Yeah, I get all that, it just seems excessive.”

  “Sweetheart, all I’m saying is, we’re looking for a home for life. If our family grows more, I don’t want to have to move again. I want the place we pick to be one that can take anything we weirdo’s throw at it.”

  “Okay, fine, I’ll look at the big-ass house.”

  “Thank you.”

  He handed you the phone and you scrolled through the different images, seeing things you liked and things you didn’t. But when you got to the master bedroom, your eyebrows shot up. The room looked ordinary at first glance, but when you took a closer look, you noticed that it had some special features.

  “Marcus… is this why you’re so interested in this house?”

  “It’s not the only reason…”

  “Who the fuck owns this place - Stormy Daniels?”

  “No, just some accountant.”

  “The bedroom is soundproofed.”

  “Which is convenient and useful for all kinds of people, but especially parents.”

  “Hard pass.”

  “We could just go and look at it before you dismiss it completely.”

  “Nope. Not happening. Move on.”

  “Why? Seriously, what’s so bad about it? Missy wouldn’t have to wear headphones every other night, and we wouldn’t have to worry about her overhearing stuff.”

  “Yes, those are good points. But: what if something happens to one of us, and the other needs to shout for help? What if something happens to Missy, and she tries to shout for help and we can’t hear her? What if someone breaks into the house, and we don’t hear it? I mean, I’m pretty sure you have super-hearing, but I don’t, and you’re not home every second of every day. I want to live in a house that speaks to me. You know, the way our house used to creak in the mornings when the sun warmed it, and settle again in the evenings, when it cooled. And if we are gonna have a bunch of kids, I sure as shit wanna be able to hear every little thing they get up to.”

  He looked ridiculously pleased at how you’d thought that through.

  “Got it, hard pass on all soundproofing. But can I ask you another serious question? One you might not have such a clear answer for?”

  “Sure.”

  “Our house… why did you send the whole thing over there? Why not just Prince and his machines?”

  “There wasn’t any thought involved with that, just instinct, and at the time, the house didn’t feel safe. I walked in and it was like entering a tomb. And I honestly don’t know if I could’ve ever walked in to that house again without having that feeling.”

  “I can understand that, mi amor. And I hope you know that I’m not asking because I’m in any way upset with you. I saw the look in your eyes in those moments, and I know how scared you were. To be able to utilise your abilities with that kind of precision and delicacy right then, was down-right miraculous.”

  “Let’s just hope I never have to try and repeat that miracle. Now, what’s next on your list?”

  He tapped away on his phone, blinking a few times at the wetness in his eyes, before handing it back to you.

  “Wow… this is even bigger.”

  “Same number of rooms, just a bigger kitchen and more garage-space.”

  “Oh, I like the yard.”

  “Check out the backyard.”

  “Holy… that’s huge! And a pool. We’d need guardrails around that, or I’d be perpetually terrified for the baby to fall in. Are those trees on the property as well?”

  “Yes. That whole little patch of woods is.”

  “Really? I mean, a pair of swings in those trees…”

  You were so engrossed in the phone that you didn’t see Marcus smile wider as he watched you fall in love with the place.

  “Oh, I love the kitchen. And there’s a fireplace! Those are beautiful floors. Holy shit – I could swim in that bathtub…”

  “Sooo…… you like it?”

  “I do.”

  “Enough to go have a look?”

  “Definitely. But Missy has to come too.”

  He beamed. You’d had a few long conversations about the house-hunting before you actually started, and after a meeting at the bank, you’d found out that your credit was basically more than big enough for anything you might want, which was an odd thing to try and get your head around. Not that you wanted a life of luxury, but it was sort of strange to realise that you actually could have practically any kind of life you chose, in terms of housing.   The two of you had settled on a firmly planted roof of expense that you were willing to extend to the purchase. And even though this house was huge and renovated to the nines with modern upgrades, that still managed to float seamlessly into the older stem and feel of the house, it wasn’t really particularly near that roof.

  “I’ll call the realtor and see if they can fit us in later this week.”

  “It’s a nice area. A little out of the way, but a good neighbourhood, and Missy wouldn’t have to change schools. Our commute to work would be a bit longer, but on quieter roads. And there’s a fence around the property. We could get a dog, or two. Or even a frickin’ pony with the size of that backyard.”

  Marcus just stared at you with that giddy smile firmly planted in his whole frame, while you rambled on, completely lost in your own thoughts, until his silence eventually made you snap out of it and look at him.

  “Oh, crap. I’m already moving in, aren’t I…?”

  He just laughed and hugged you.

  “I’m definitely on board with the dogs. But I’m gonna need my phone back if I’m gonna be able to call the realtor.”

  You quickly handed it back to him, just as there was a careful knock on the door.   You were in Marcus’s office, sitting in one of the sofas, perfectly naturally just sitting next to each other, for once. It had only been a week since you were released from medical, and he was still a little worried about getting you worked up, so you hadn’t been together yet, and it was creating something of a space between you. Not a wall, nothing that exclusive, just a little void that was a bit hard to reach across.   He called for the person to enter, and Will stepped in, immediately shooting an apologetic glance at Marcus. He still hadn’t quite recovered from seeing Cujo that time, even though Marcus had apologized for scaring him.

  “Hi, sorry, I was told I could find you here.”

  You smiled warmly at him to ease his discomfort.

  “What’s up, Will?”

  “Uh, Miss. Timmons is looking for you, she needs your help.”

  Oh, for fucks sake…

  “Let me guess; she screwed up her paperwork, again?”

  “Looks like it.”

  “Damned it, Izzy. Wait, why’d she send you to get me, you’re not an errand-boy, she couldn’t have picked up the phone?”

  “She did go looking for you in your office, but when you weren’t there, she got a little… desperate. She knows that she’s messed up too many times already, and I think she’s genuinely scared that you’re gonna fire her. She started crying outside your office and I was just passing by, so I offered to go find you for her.”

  “If I had the authority to fire her, I would’ve already done it.”

  You sighed and got up to leave, but Marcus caught your elbow.

  “You’re not gonna go back to work, right? We talked about that.”

  “If I know Izzy, this won’t be solved by correcting a few clerical errors.”

  “So, let someone else do it.”

  “No one else can, honey. That’s why I still have my job despite the number of sick-days I have.”

  “Preciosa… it’s dangerous. Prince’s people are in this building, and if he was obsessed with you, or us, then so are they. None of us can afford to be distracted right now.”

  “I know, but we still have to live. We’re still the same people, and neither one of us are the type of person that’s just gonna stand by when someone needs help. If the team needs you, I expect you to go and help them, not just because that’s your job, but because that’s who you are.”

  “Just don’t let yourself get too engrossed. Stay alert at all times. We have no idea who’s a friend and who isn’t.”

  “I’ll check in with you every hour, okay?”

  “Every half-hour. And just until you’ve sorted this mess out, then you come back and find me, you don’t start on another three problems you discover along the way.”

  “Are you giving me orders now, Team Leader?”

  He grabbed your hips and pulled you in close, so that your bodies were only millimetres apart and his nose was brushing against yours. It was more than enough to heat you up after six weeks of inactivity, but the tremble of emotion in his voice when he spoke next, pushed the desire aside, to make way for compassion.

  “I can’t lose you again. I’ll do anything…”

  You closed your eyes and rested your forehead against his. How many times had you lost each other already? Your ability made it so easy for you to feel like it was your job to save others, like it was what you were put in this world to do, and especially where your family was concerned. So, you had to start reminding yourself that while you would probably always be able to absorb anything bad that happened to them – you’d also always hurt them by doing that. Your ability came with a terrible price, and you were only lucky to have survived everything you’d been through thus far.   Marcus was right, you had to be more careful.   You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and nestled your nose into his neck. His arms closed around your waist and held you to him, strong and sure, and you felt like you could just stand there for the rest of the day.

  “I promise I’ll be careful, and not take any risks. I love you.”

  “Te amo, querida.”

  Will had moved to stand outside the door after Marcus started talking to you, but he fell in behind you when you walked past him.

  “So, where is she, and what has she done?”

  It felt really good to get back into something familiar and achievable again. To do something that generated an immediate response and result, and within fifteen minutes you suddenly understood why Marcus had been so worried. You got lost in the task in no time at all.   You sent him a text while you waited for a lawyer to call you back.

  [You’re right, I’m already cheating.]

  [How bad?]

  [Two other issues already solved, while I’m waiting to work out Izzy’s.]

  [Why are you waiting?]

  [Because lawyers always have something better to do.]

  [Fine. But as soon as it’s dealt with, you come back to me. I’ll be at the control centre.]

  [Promise. What’s going on?]

  [Just two small countries deciding to go to war over the quality of their chocolate.]

  [Well… I suppose there are worse things.]

  [They’re hurling missiles at each other over fucking candy…]

  [Wow… Where’s Máma when you need her?]

  [Don’t you worry, she’s right here, so this should be sorted out by the time you get here.]

  [Oh, in that case, I am so calling her Chocoreno from now on.]

  [Please don’t…]

  [Only if she doesn’t solve it.]

  [*sigh*]

  After another eight phone calls and a lot of grovelling to people you really didn’t like, you finally managed to set things straight, and went to find Izzy to give her a piece of your mind - again. But when you got to her office, she was on the phone and turned away from the door, so she didn’t see you come in, and you accidentally overheard the end of her conversation.

  “No, of course not, I’ll be straight home from work. Why would I make any stops? --- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you… --- No, baby, don’t… I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. --- Anything you want, name it. --- Yeah, that sounds.. nice. I’ll be home soon.”

  Shit.

  She turned around, looking absolutely terrified, and then she saw you by the door and quickly tried to adapt a neutral expression. She was good at it too, within half a second there was no trace of fear in her face. You only got that good at hiding your feelings if you knew that showing them meant terrible pain.

  “So, everything’s taken care of, no harm done.”

  “Really? Oh, thank you. I’m so sorry, I swear I don’t mean to mess up the papers, it just gets to be too much sometimes.”

  “Izzy, if I ask you a personal question, will you answer me honestly?”

  A trace of fear re-emerged in her features, but she nodded carefully.

  “Is it work that gets to be too much… or is it home?”

  You could see the internal struggle. The need to be free of the fear and the pain, and that same fear making it almost impossible. All the irritation and frustration fell away from you with the realisation that she wasn’t incompetent at all. She was being smothered.   How many times had you added to her stress and general feeling of inadequacy, by barking at her for constantly missing or screwing up doing things? Why hadn’t you seen the signs sooner, you knew every single one of them?

  “I’ve been where you are, Izzy. I should have seen this. I’m so sorry.”

  “You have nothing to be sorry for, honestly, I’m fine.”

  “Show me your arms and your stomach. If they aren’t bruised, I might believe you.”

  She squirmed where she stood, and her head dropped in defeat.

  “When was the last time you didn’t have an injury somewhere? When was the last time you could move without feeling pain somewhere?”

  She just kept staring at the floor, shaking her head, trying to will it not to be true, so you walked up to her, pushed your energy around her, and healed her.   The amount of energy that it drained from you, told you everything you needed to know about how injured she was, and you quickly reached into your back pocket to retrieve a pill from the small box you kept with you at all times these days.   Izzy stared wide-eyed at you, while you fumbled with a paper-cup at her water-cooler, hands shaking with the sudden loss of strength. Then she suddenly sprung to life and came to help you fill the cup and down the pill.

  “Jesus Christ, girl, how were you even standing with all that damage?”

  “I… got used to it over time. He didn’t… start out that bad.”

  “They never do.”

  “Thank you. So much.”

  “Thank me by letting me beat the living hell out of that guy.”

  “You’d better not. But… maybe… you could ask one of the guys on the team to… talk to him?”

  “Are you serious? You wanna stay with him? No, honey, no amount of talking is gonna fix him.”

  “No, I meant like… talk him into not killing me for leaving him.”

  “Oh… Yeah. That I could probably do. Just give me his name and address.”

  You downed another pill, and started feeling better, while Izzy scribbled on a note for you. You took it and read it, and stuffed it down your other back pocket.

  “You should stay here tonight, just in case he decides to try anything. And call me if you need anything, Marcus and I are still living here, so we’re close, okay?”

  She seemed to hesitate about something.

  “What is it?”

  “Um… do you know Jack Daven?”

  “Who?”

  “He’s a kid who interns at the science division.”

  “Oh, Jackie. Yeah, unfortunately I do know who he is.”

  He was the kid you threw head-first into a wall.

  “I just… I think he might have something to do with your mole situation.”

  “What? Why would you think that?”

  “A while back, he came to me saying that science had sent him with some paperwork that needed to be signed, but when I looked at it, I realised that it was actually for research, and I told him that. And he laughed it off saying that he’d just made a mistake, but that didn’t seem very likely, because the forms he had were for release of testing materials. They wouldn’t send an errand-boy to retrieve those, they’re too dangerous. At the time I figured that maybe he’d been sent with an escort, for learning purposes, and that I just never saw them. But, now with the investigation, I think there might have been more to it than that. I was just too scared to... I didn’t know who to trust with it.”

  “You can always trust me. Thank you, Izzy, I’m so sorry that I ever thought of you as incompetent.”

  “Forgive me and I’ll forgive you.”

  “Done.”

  You ran full speed back to Ops, and almost collided with the automatic door to the control centre. Marcus was working at a station to the left, and smiled without looking up as he heard you. Anita was at the centre console, with her back to you.

  “Damned it, why do all automatic doors move so fucking slowly?”

  “Ah, I hear my future daughter-in-law has entered the premises.”

  “Shut it, Chocoreno.”

  “What did you just call me?”

  “Choco-reno, the clue’s in the name, máma.”

  “Ay, loco, today’s not a good day to test me.”

  “Why, does máma need a hug?”

  “Don’t even think about it.”

  “Fine. How about some nice chocolate instead? I hear there might be some steep discounts on a couple of brands.”

  “Mujer… did you burst in here for a reason? Because if not, I’ll burst you right back out.”

  “Hah, I’d like to see you try.”

  She huffed.

  “As you wish.”

  You caught a glimpse of Marcus’ expression as it shifted from bemused to genuinely worried, when Anita turned and came towards you.

  “Mooom…”

  She ignored him and tried to grab you, but your ghost hands caught hers before she could make contact, and they were much stronger than your physical hands.   She definitely had super-strength, that much was obvious right away, and she wasn’t holding back. You could feel your strength begin to drain, so you changed tactics. You flooded the room with energy, and then drew it back to compact it all around yourself, creating that same kind of barrier that the Inventor hadn’t been able to break through, despite his genius belt-modification.   And then you just stood there, perfectly still to conserve energy, while she tried in vain to push you out of the room.

  “Mom, stop it, right now!”

  As her focus momentarily shifted towards Marcus, you saw the smile that played in her features. She was just having fun, testing your strength and flexing her own, whilst getting some frustration out of her system, knowing full well that you could take it.   Feeling certain she wouldn’t kill you for it, you grabbed the opportunity.   You let the wall of energy disappear as she was leaning against it with all her might, and as the barrier fell, so did Anita – right into your arms.   It was a bit like trying to catch a running bull, and the impact was certainly painful, but you ignored it and just hugged her to you.   She scrambled out of your grip, but you just smiled at her, because you knew she enjoyed every moment of it.

  “I have to say, I’ve never had to fight my way into a hug before.”

  “That wasn’t a hug, loco.”

  “Yes, it was, and you know it. Do you feel better now, or do you need another?”

  She was actually contemplating another round, which prompted Marcus to step in between you.

  “Do I have to remind both of you that you’re pregnant, hermosa? Playful or not, you’re not fighting each other again, now, tell me why you were moving so fast that the doors were too slow for you?”

   Oh, for fucks sake, why where you so easily distracted?

  “Right… We should probably talk in private. Considering the fact that it’s only been two hours since we sat in your office looking at houses – a hell of a lot’s happened.”

  He led the way towards the door, and you shot a look at Anita, over your shoulder.

  “Raincheck on that hug?”

  “I’ll boogie with you anytime, loco.”

  “That’s how you boogie? And you call me ‘loco’.”

  “Oh, yes. You’ve earned that one, many times over.”

 Authors’ Note: I love criticism, don’t be shy to let me know if there’s anything you like/don’t like/have questions about.

@blueeyesatnight​ @farfromjustordinary @allmyspideys @hrk-fic-recs @strawberryperegrine @lucrezia-thoughts @computeringturtle @sarahjkl82-blog

[baldwin-montclair]

The Unlikely Advocate - No Spindle Required

Baldwin wants to officially adopt Isobel as a de Clermont and his daughter but a crisis forces his hand and leaves him little choice over the timing of the decision.

Warning: Last one was fluffy, let’s have some angst!!!

Tags: @adowbaldwin @butternuggets-blog @sylverdeclermont @lady-lazarus-declermont @ordinarymom1 @thereadersmuse @marirable @pleasereadmeok

PREVIOUS PARTS

———

“What the fuck do you mean it isn’t medical?” Baldwin roared at Marcus over the table in his study.

“All of her vitals are strong, there is no reason she should be unresponsive-“

“But she is,” Baldwin retorted, “my wife has been in a coma for a week and you tell me you cannot find the reason!”

“The reason is magic,” Diana answered calmly, “but it’s old and unfamiliar, I cannot break it.”

“Magic or no, she still needs nourishment, hydration, the same as anyone under non-magical sedation.” Marcus interjected.

“Make sure she has that!” Baldwin ordered.

“Obviously, but that’s not all,” Marcus argued, “we need to worry about blood clots, muscle atrophy, and long term care.”

“Long term?” Baldwin fumed.

“We don’t even know what caused it, until we do, we cannot say how long she’ll be like this.” Diana agreed.

“Then she will have a full time medical team, spare no expense I want the best!”

Marcus glanced at Diana, who gave him a nod.

“I should go check on her vitals.” He hastily left the room.

“You need to consider my suggestion!” Diana told him emphatically.

“Not now sister, I’m in no mood-“

“Too bad, it’s the safest option!”

“Magic caused her condition, now you want to use it to make sure she cannot improve?”

“No, I want to use it to make sure she cannot deteriorate further, to keep her as she is until we can get her back.”

“In a pitch dark tomb!”

“A sealed environment,” she corrected, “its essential for the stasis to work.”

“Izzy will not understand.”

“No, but she is a child, you are her guardian and she needs you to make the right call. Not just in relation to Eileen’s condition.”

“What do you mean?”

“Last week you called me to discuss adopting Isobel as your own, did you discuss it with Eileen?”

“Yes, she gave her blessing, I just didn’t get a chance to speak to Isobel.”

“There is no time, you must do it, sooner rather than later!”

Baldwin stared at her, incredulous.

“This is hardly the fucking time Diana!”

“Listen to me, you cannot keep Eileen’s condition a secret indefinitely. You know how much her family want Isobel, as soon as they find out they will petition the congregation to take custody.”

“If anyone even thinks of taking that child from me, they will die screaming, I promise.” His tone was firm and there was an unsettling certainty beneath the words.

“Please believe that I’m going against every shred of empathy I have to push you at a moment like this, and I’m sorry but you would do the same if our roles were reversed and you would be right to.”

He shook his head and surrendered with a sigh.

She was right.

He would never let emotional considerations overrule important decisions.

“So what do you propose?”

“As I see it, you have two choices, either relinquish custody of Izzy to Eileen’s mother, or, assume the role of a parent completely. That means making the decision for her.”

“I cannot lose either of them but the thought of losing them both,” he spoke to himself, “letting her mother get her claws into that child is the last thing Eileen wanted, I cannot let that happen.”

“Then Izzy has to be your focus, we will continue to search for a way to bring Eileen back but in the meantime, you will know she is safe from further harm whilst we do!”

A long moment passed as he thought.

Diana realised she had never actually witnessed his making a decision, he always seemed to instinctively know the answer in the moment.

Clearly, this is the most difficult decision he had ever made.

“Alright,” he nodded, “yes, on both counts. What do I need to do?”

“Nothing, I have made all prior arrangements, the coven has almost arrived, we will proceed tonight.”

“Tonight?” He asked, startled.

“We need to act before her family discover the truth. I’ll have her moved to the crypt and you can see her before the spell.”

“No, I don’t want Izzy to see her in a cold mausoleum, I’ll go explain as best I can. Then we can move her.”

~~~

“Will Auntie Eileen be okay?” Isobel asked Baldwin from her place on his knee, taking her big blue eyes from the ‘sleeping’ form of her aunt on the bed to Baldwin, looking for comfort and reassurance.

Despite the reticence he felt, he knew he had to put on a confident facade for the six-year-old.

“She’ll be asleep for a while,” he explained, “we don’t want her to get worse so Auntie Diana and her friends are going to put a spell to keep her safe until we figure out what’s wrong and can help her.”

“So she’s like Sleeping Beauty?” She asked, petting the long ears of Mr Nibbles.

“Yes cara, she is just like Sleeping Beauty.” He gave her a definitive hug before letting Miyako take her.

“Come little bug, we need to get you ready for the ceremony.” Miyako soothed.

“I’ll be with you shortly,” Baldwin promised them.

“Yes Papa!” Miyako gave a respectful bow and led Isobel to the door.

“Wait,” the child ran back to the bed and placed Mr Nibbles on the pillow beside Eileen, “So you can watch over Auntie Eileen too.” She told Baldwin, pleased with her plan.

He was reminded of Diana’s observation, the toy’s colouring, all black coat with white breast, gave the appearance he was wearing a suit, his usual attire. Clearly the rabbit reminded the child of him.

She ran back to Miyako before Baldwin could even respond, letting the vampire lead her out to the main hall.

“We’re doing the blood-vow ritual tonight,” he took Eileen’s hand in his, “we also discussed names and agreed on Isobel Sophia - for her mother - and Évelyne I chose to honour you. Isobel Sophia Évelyne de Clermont, our daughter.”

“Baldwin,” Diana rapped at the door gently, “we need to let them get started and you have your own matter to attend.”

He gave a curt nod without turning to face her, his eyes still focused on his wife.

“We will bring you back home.” He pressed a light kiss to her lips and left the room, past all the gathered witches without a word.