#even if the side on our left isnt exactly right still
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4giorno · 1 year ago
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omg the screenshots in this dream place are basically accurate 😭💖
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#its like im finally like i can see him i see my darling boy!!!!!#even if the side on our left isnt exactly right still#believe it or not its a big deal to me hkdxjjdfkfkf#anyway some more lore of him that i didnt yet share is that his instrument is the violin his subclass in college of lore#and he has the guild artisan background. so maybe that gives more of a picture of what hes like jdjfhdjjf#lmao SORRY for posting abt him again im just rlly attatched to him bc this game has consumed my brain#and ive played as him for over 30 hours now 💀 and im only at the beginning of act 2 which is crazy bc i didnt do nearly everything in act 1#(but im kinda like am i gonna get to a place over ground again? 💀 i dont like exploring places like the shadow lands or the underdark#in any game so i find it hard to find the strength to wander from the main quest. plus i have a vampire with me#and his bite is useless against the undead 😭)#speaking of which omg i obv just looked at my media gallery and bc the time i died from letting astari0n drink was the first time#that i had that event it gave me the trophy and the ps5 saves a clip of you getting trophies so i have it forever saved#when my character faded away and the 'oh no something terrible happened' comment and the clip KILLS me#also even tho this hair is perfect i have one regret and its that it hides his elf ears 😭#anyway have you seen my boy? now you have byeeeee#(EDIT i actually think i did already say his instrument is the violin....... whoops its too early in the tags to fix)
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novemberdevils · 1 month ago
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Now actually into the fic where I can already tell this would one LONG detailed comment about EVERYTHING, I will be reading and every time I want to scream about something I will come and scream about it-I can already tell that the puck would drop before im halfway through-.
No one has won Ferrari a world championship in over 20 years. Ferrari please give Charles a winning car so we get to be happy and don’t read about the drought in fics please and thank you!<3.
Jack fuck everyone get behind me the media is the worst and would always belittle the drivers so dont read them!, you can ALWAYS blame the car because Ferrari LOVES to make lawn mower where you try to turn left but it turn right so Always blame the car but not too mich so you dont have to be killed because you didnt say that you are the worst driver and dont perform well and the car is perfect and I will quit f1 and live in the mountains where I will think about everything everyday and beg for forgiveness :)! 
Jack knows Ferrari has a car this time my trauma from the 22 season apparently is still there because the first time I read this I flinched-OMG IF YOU LET ME LIVE THROUGH THE 22 SEASON IN THIS FIC I WILL FIND YOU AND YOU WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH ME CRYING AND COMPLAINING-, Ah the usual delusions of tifosi thinking that we would win everything in the preseason is still true even in the fic I love it!! It is their season. And Jack will be their champion. The delusion is still strong!!-we are always fighting flr the championships even when it’s mathematically impossible I don’t make the rules-.
AHHH the plot of them being rivals and Nico establishing himself way earlier than Jack is soooo goood, Like Nico did it all first!! Races, points, winning, being on a main team, being first driver AAAHHHH, and god the difference between them is everything!! Like jack tries his hardest to be perfect all the time because he can NOT afford to be less than perfect simply because his nationality is always the talk of the paddock but Nico and every other driver even the Canadians dont get to be judged because they were born in a different country so Nico have this luxury that he doesn’t even realise he has!!! Anyways jack needs therapy my guy spiral faster than me when im on my period.
Jack I know you are a Ferrari driver and delusional comes with the career but the rivalry is NOT one sided nico is also obsessed with you dont worry, the down fall of Merc needs to be studied; but come on jack you really think MERCEDES would be sandbagging? I have never seen a team who likes to show off more than them “Unless Hischier beats you to it.” Nico I love you but please let me have a Ferrari wdc in a fic if I cant have it in real life so please lose and dont stress me out I get stressed enough with real life races I dont need more stress!.
This would be repetitive but jack envying nico because he doesn’t care about his image and isnt an American and isnt a Ferrari driver plot makes me scream into my pillow even though its a bit of simple plot but its SIMPLY PERFECT-please get the reference so I dont feel embarrassed-, media needs to realise everyone who works for Ferrari and tifosi are delusional and ALWAYS think it’s Ferrari season even when it’s obvious it’s not it’s still IS Ferrari season like come onget with the program; the leaders of said delusional are our drivers so im blaming them 100%, jack is oblivious because my guy is halfway in love with nico but is like nooo I think about him Because He Is My Rival. Nico clears his throat. “Well, if I’m fighting for the title this season, then it’s probably against Hughes.” I remember when I read this for the first time I woke my cats up and they gave me the most judgmental side eyes.
LOSERS: MCLAREN exactly where they belong. Steph you and me both would be in Ferrari’s wall dont worry, Mel wondering about the exciting title fight made me sad because I remembered how we dont have an exciting title fight this past years-2021 gave me white hair but it was so fucking fun to watch the races but it was a downhill afterwards-, Melbourne first race my beloved I have missed you, poor connor getting the logan treatment from the media get behind me, But he only really had the space inside of himself to stress out about one other driver on the grid. He let that be Nico. He is in loooovveee.
hey isn’t zak brown promising you an F1 thing hi pato reference I love you-if this is wrong please dont tell me I will never send another ask-, the way we JUST got to the first round and I already yapped this much-you can always take my yapping privilege  away because this is one LONG comment and im not even halfway way through the FIRST chapter, yapping is a disease that I need to get treatment for because this cant be normal right??-, the way I NEED a leon fic where he gets to be asked the most stupidest questions and his opinion about the fia decision on banning saying fuck on the radio. 
Ah media stupid questions are still alive because why would you ask an f1 driver if they want to win with or without a fight?.
Okay the puck dropped and this is a long comment and im sorry in advance because the first chapter is not even done and I havent even reached the drama so get yourself a coffee or tea for the rest of my daily commentary because I will send them on random times so I can keep you on your toes!.
I dont know if I said this but I genuinely feel like I should be sending you money because what do you mean I get to read and reread this masterpiece whenever I want??.
back to clear my inbox. anon i love and appreciate you
yeah the no championship for ferrari in over 20 years thing being True is crazy. did not even have to exaggerate... uhf. i promise this will not be some 2022 nonsense the title fight will be title fighting... I ALMOST JUST SPOILED SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS IN A CHAPTER I HAVEN'T POSTED YET oops my bad. every time i talk too much about this fic i'm like is this thing i want to say from what i've posted or from the several thousands of words i am hoarding on my gdoc. my bad. caught myself though
every day i wake up and open the inertia doc and i make jack spiral. he is on the struggle bus at all times. no therapy only failing to meditate. Ferrari Delusion is real so it must permeate everything including this highly fictional universe. and i LOVE making nico say crazy shit to the media bc he just does not care and then jack is like what the hell is your problem and nico is like uhm i am just saying what is in my brain. but of course jack would never understand that truly, mr. imagines things he says written in articles before he opens his mouth
yeah rip bedard i think the way i have it he's the only rookie on the grid for the season?? it's drysdale's first season with mclaren but i think i have implied he was initially at a different team. don't ask me which team i have no idea. i do what i want
zak brown reference fuck that man but like zak brown reference. he is zak browning. i make some more references in a scene in miami that will probably not be funny if you don't get The Lore but too bad. someone will enjoy it. hopefully (me i enjoy it)
i think i have made the media in the fic Extra dumb but it's probably not too far from real life. a driver could crash and they would be like "now how does that make you feel" BAD?????
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bridgyrose · 10 months ago
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Roman had a devious little plan to break Ruby. Have Neo create an illusion of her friends murdered by his hands, and have Ruby go mad from grief just like he had. So... why, oh WHY is she refusing to kill him?!?
(This... isnt as dark as I could've made it but its still pretty dark for the intent. Proceed with caution.)
Roman paced around the empty warehouse, upset at yet another failure of a plan. Getting the White Fang into Mountain Glenn was never going to work, and he was lucky enough that Neo was able to get him out before he could get arrested. All that dust wasted for a set back that would take months to get back on track. Though, out of all of it, he did have one consolation to the whole fiasco. Red was finally in his grasp, no longer able to be a thorn in his side. 
With a heavy sigh, he finally made his way to the small room that Ruby was chained up in, peering into the small window on the door before opening it and walking inside. “Well Red, I think its safe to say that no one is coming for you.” 
“They’ll… they’ll come,” Ruby said as she pulled at the chains that held her to the wall. “My team will find me-” 
“Its been days since our little encounter at Mountain Glenn and they didnt notice you tied up behind a few crates. Then, they left without you. You really think they’ll come for you now?” 
“I know Yang will never give up trying to find me and Weiss and Blake will do whatever they can to help!” 
“I’m shaking where I stand,” Roman said sarcastically as he walked away from Ruby, closing the door behind him. Red was right, her team would find her eventually even if he did send her scroll off towards Mistral with an S.O.S. beacon running. He had at least bought himself a few days with that, but once they’d realize that was a false lead, it would be only a matter of time until the general and his tin cans would start combing through Vale’s borders for him. And running to Vacuo wasnt exactly an option since Cinder was no doubt keeping an eye out for him. No, he had to do something with Red before it was too late. 
Then, a thought came to mind. He couldnt just off Red, that would bring too much attention to him, but he could break her. And the best way to do it would be to have her watch her friends die right in front of her. “Neo, I have a task for you.” 
Neo looked at him curiously as she looked away from the manual she had stolen of one of the Atlas warships. She quickly used her semblance to look like Ruby and ran a finger across her neck with a questioning look. 
“Something like that, but not for Red.” Roman slid his scroll to Neo with pictures of Yang, Weiss, and Blake that he’d taken. “I need you to create illusions of her friends for me to kill.” 
Neo nodded with a smile. 
Roman grinned as she watched replicas of Yang, Weiss, and Blake manifest in front of him, gently tapping each one with his cane. “Ice Queen, Kitty, and Blondie. Exactly as we need them.” He spun his cane around and held it over his shoulder as he started to walk to Ruby, making sure the three replicas followed him. “And now, its time to put on a show.” 
Neo nodded and moved the illusions to the door, letting them rush to open and try to free Ruby as a smile crossed her lips. Once the door was open, she made sure the Yang and Blake illusions stayed just in view of the door while the Weiss illusion rushed in. With a quick bow to Roman, she let him know the stage was set. 
Roman picked up his cane and swung it at the Yang illusion, an audible crack coming from it as Neo made sure to make things as real as possible. Then, he aimed his cane at the Blake illusion, firing off a rocket at it. 
“Yang!” Ruby called out as she tried to pull on her chains. “Blake!” 
Without giving the illusions time to answer, Roman slammed his cane into the Yang illusion, another crack coming from it as it went still. He put up his cane to block a strike from the Blake illusion, almost grinning as he kicked her away and fired one more rocket, glad the explosion hit the shatter effect. 
Ruby pulled her hand away from the cuff that was unlocked from the Weiss illusion, trying to move to the door. “Weiss, you have to help them! I-I can get out of here.” 
The Weiss illusion nodded and stood up, getting a glyph ready, only to be struck down by Roman as he slammed his cane into her over and over. 
“I told you… Red… that no one… is going… to save you!” Roman spoke between hits, leaving the Weiss illusion on the ground as illusioned blood started to pool around her. He sighed and lowered his cane, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself as he looked at Ruby once more, pressing a button on his scroll to unlock the other cuff from Ruby’s hand. “So Red, what’ll it be now?” 
“You… you killed them,” Ruby said as she dropped to her knees, staring at Weiss’s body in front of her. 
Roman watched her as Neo took care of the “bodies” on the ground and left Ruby’s scythe on the ground next to her. As the minutes ticked away, he started to get frustrated when Ruby didnt move or even try to go to her weapon. Instead, all she did was sit there, staring at where Weiss’s “body” had been. “Alright, what gives?” 
Ruby slowly looked up at him, then looked away to wipe away a few tears from her cheek. “I’m… done.” 
“Come again?” 
“I’m done.” 
“Done?” Roman asked as he moved closer to Ruby, slamming his cane into her side. “Done with what? Being a huntress?” He slammed his cane into her again, moving her to her scythe. “This is what you get for being a huntress. Huntresses die, just like every hero that came before you. You dont get to be done until I say you’re done!” 
Ruby slowly reached for her scythe, arm shaking for a moment before dropping it on the ground, pulling away from it. 
Roman frowned and kicked her, leaving the room and shutting the door behind him to leave her. None of it made sense, she was supposed to kill him after watching her teammates die, to be blinded by grief until she could get her revenge. Instead, all he watched her do was give up once her friends were gone. While this wasnt the result he was looking for, another thought came to mind to turn this into his favor. 
A smile crossed Roman’s lips as he turned around to make his way back to Ruby, ready to turn her against Ozpin and to help bring Beacon down.
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elisedonut · 9 months ago
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arborvitae
I did it!!
Months later I'm very sorry
I've had like 200 words of this written for like literal months just sitting there mocking me but i finally got it to something I'm happy with!
anyway i hope you like it!!
Ao3 link:
Full fic under read more as well
Oliver wasn't sure when it happened exactly– Maybe it’s just always been there simmering under the surface waiting for him to notice it. If only he had done so sooner. Percy has always been fun to be around in his opinion, them being the only two Gryffindor boys in their year would of course lead to them getting to know one another fairly well.
It’s not until Clearwater joins the picture that he starts to understand what he’s really feeling but by then it’s too late. Oliver shakes his head in an attempt to clearer his thoughts. It’s not even like he particularly dislikes Penelope because he doesn't. She’s nice, intelligent, even funny, having that dry sense of humour that Percy has but that’s just it isn't it? She’s perfect for him isnt she? 
Watching them interact, Oliver can see it clearly. The way she seems to hold Percy’s attention like a light would a moth. The way she seems to enjoy listening to him speak–like Oliver does and he can’t hate her as much as he would love to. Instead he throws himself into quidditch to avoid thinking about the pain in his chest everytime Percy speaks of her with that gentle smile on his face.
Hence why he’s currently sitting on his broom and circling the quidditch pitch as fast as he can manage. In a desperate plea to take his mind off it. Feeling the sun on his skin and the wind in his hair he can at least pretend he’s happy.
Weeks and then months go by like this. Weeks of Percy rarely being around the dorm. Months where Oliver knows where he is and wishes he didn't. Oliver never says anything about it to him, it's not right for him to. It’s not Percy’s fault Oliver’s a jealous prat. Percy seems happy, really happy and Oliver wouldn't dare do something that might change that. He will always support him–even if he feels like he’s breaking inside.
When near the end of the year Penny gets petrified Oliver is there for him. Staying by his side as much as possible, holding him in his arms as he cried quietly. When mere hours later Ginny was taken into the chamber Oliver helped him send letters. When after Penny was cured and Percy went right back to her side it still hurt but the unnecessary little thank you gifts Percy would leave for him left him feeling light. Little notes here and there, small trinkets he saw at the odd shop in town. Small things Oliver would treasure as much as his broom.
During one letter over the summer Percy told him that Penny and him broke up. 
‘She needs to focus on herself after what happened and I do as well.’  
Laid out in front of him in Percy’s neat script. Oliver was conflicted. 
Happy that it was over. 
Happy that his last year with Percy won’t include him laying in bed, wishing Percy was around.
Happy that his best friend got hurt– and that's just it isn’t it? That's not an okay way to feel, at least that's what Oliver thinks. 
Sending a letter back is harder that time. Finding the words to say that don’t immediately out his horrible thoughts. Percy’s smart he could see right through him if he wanted too. So he tried his best to be supportive. To not give too much away about his real thoughts on it and once it was sent went right back outside to get back into the air. 
When school started back up again he thought it would be easier. That he would tell him the truth. That’s not what happens though. Everytime he tries during those first few weeks something stops him. 
The twins interrupt them.
He looks at Percy’s face and sees how dark under his eyes are.
One time a dementor even just came around the corner leading to an impassioned speech from Percy about how dangerous the school has gotten.
Not exactly the best time to look at your best friend and tell them how in love with them you are.
So he just doesn’t… and in a flash their last year passed him by in a state of simple indulgences. Oliver taking small touches whenever he could manage it. 
Pulling Percy into hugs whenever he seemed to need it. Listening to him talk on and on about how little the teachers are telling them about Sirius Black. Holding him when Ron ended up in the hospital wing again. 
He’ll always be there for him no matter what else may change, that never will. 
Even without words he surely knows that right?
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kcjacobs · 2 years ago
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If we, we as in each individual, stood up for ourselves, took back all that power we have willingly given over to our so-called government, the people we trust to keep us, our money and our homes safe, then we could live a much better life one that we are still yet to discover.  Instead,  we have been made to believe thay without a president ( posh word for dictator ) we can’t function as a society  Funnily enough it’s those in question who are the ones that keep telling us that, scaring us to believe that this terrible world we live in, all the crime and violence we see constantly broadcasted worldwide, would only get worse without them. 
Why is this 100% not true? 
War is caused between governments, higher powers, and it’s all for money and power. 
Poverty isnt a misfortune, it could end, lets be honesy theres plenty of money in the world that if divided farely would end poverty all together, one football teams wages together alone, the houses of Parliament could save thousands of lives just by cutting their income by 10%.  ….but they earned it you say?  
If someone, anyone ould look me in the eyes with a straight face and tell me exactly how they earned all their thousands and millions that isn’t off us, weapons, trafficking or our taxes (a few examples from the top of my head) qnd make a valid point, you will never see me write again but it’s impossible. We hand over over 50 % of our hard-earned wages and don’t say shit about it out loud... we may huff and puff and tell our other halves, or friends how pissed off it makes us and then brush it of and continue our day to day lives. 
 How can we be letting this happen and think its normal? we need to fight for what is ours, and that’s everything  
Our wages, our land, our kids, our freedom, our planet. We, as a society, are so strong…if someone stole 5000 euros or even 5p, knowing who they are, would u let it go or would you fight to get back? Assuming our minds aren’t completely delusional, of corse we would fight to get back whatever was stolen….if your answer is anything other than that then get back to believing your social media bullshit and catch up on what’s most important like, Adam Sandler in a hoodie at the grammys or the fact that Shakira caught pique cheating because her jam jar was half full because this is wasted on you. 
Once upon a time on this same planet earth we inhabit on, lived thousands of people with one simple rule/law….do no harm, to others…Easy and simple, but we then had thepower over ourselves and ourselves alone. Laws were put into place for buisnesses, corporations laws and even then two partys had to agree to it before it was put in place. Slowly, somehow at somepoint someo e placed this laws outside of buisness and into our lives and with power comes greed and that’s exactly what happened  
I look at my grandparents, my grandfather from my father’s side, his parents e.c.t fought for us in the war, and the guilt I feel keeps me up at night sometimes. 
They left their homes, their children, their wife’s and lives to fight for us for our futures and did not give up for a second, they must had been exhausted, petrified so lonely and lost yet they kept going with the thought of us, our families safety and for what? For the lives we have choose to live now, no freedom, no love, our society no longer has passion or pride, we just keep our heads down and do as we are told out of fear? Laziness? Or pure stupidity I don’t know but either way out soldiers have every right to be disgusted and disappointed in us but its fixable, we can do everything in our power to make sure our babies don’t have to live this continuous rat race we call life. 
If law was so important and necessary for us to live right, how come one rule applies to one and another to others? 
If we haven’t realized by now that all news is fake news and it is simply a disguise to keep us all blinded from what is truly happening around us, which is what we really want to know, or need to know. 
Credit to us all, getting through one of the biggest ‘epidemics’ as they called It. I saw a real society where I was at the time, exactly what our society should be like at all times, baking cakes, gardening, exercising, people caring for their neighbours,  helping our elders with shopping, most places became a real community, so I don’t believe for a second anymore that we can’t possibly be civil together alone because we can, and we will. 
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familyagrestefanblog · 4 years ago
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Analysis of the Family Agreste Portrait
Quarantine strikes again and since the Agreste family portrait has fascinated me for a loooong while now I decided to put my thoughts into words and write another essay x3
The amount of informations we get out if it is amazing and its not only highlighting the absolute TRAGEDY it is that this family is about to face such a horrible fall out, it also hints at the former family dynamic before everything went to hell.
So make yourself comfortable and get something to drink, because we will be here for a while.
Here we go: My analysis of this beauty of a fictional portrait
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Let's start with the most obvious one: Hawkmoth.
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Its commen knowledge by now that the background makes it seem like Hawkmoth is standing behind the Agreste family like a bad omen waiting for fate to take its course and cause their doom. The portrait is brilliantly designed so the illusion is created that Gabriels body (here in a blue suit closer to Hawkmoths normals dark purple one) overlaps with Hawkmoths and a darker line is connecting the two faces as well, which rest on the same height right beside each other. The very same line grows bigger as it goes further behind Emilie - coloring her entire background - showing us that EMILIE is all Gabriel sees when he becomes Hawkmoth. But notice that Adrien on the other hand can hardly be concidered part of Gabriels “sight” at all.
Its forshadowing 101 and damn beautiful if I may say so. But this isnt what I want to focus on in this post.
I want to elaborate on two other key factors that tell us about the former dynamic of the Agrestes instead and what they tell us about the present and future.
The heart:
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This is hitting me on another level because look at the heart these three form with Adrien right in the middle! He was so LOVED. This family may have never been anywhere close to ideal but still, there was LOVE and now he's gonna loose it all.
Adrien already lost his mother which led to his father getting even more distant and cold and now his father is becoming increasingly more abusive as he falls deeper and deeper into villainy. Gabriel was never a good father, the show has already made this clear with episodes like "the bubbler", “the collector” or "Gigantitan" for example but gosh there was hope for their little family! The end scene in "Jackady" portrayed it perfectly and I wrote a whole other post just covering the sigificants of Adriens and Gabriels hug in that episode. Check it out here if you want, it goes hand in hand with this one.
Miraculous is all about love and the completely different ways it can affect us, our behavior and actions. Because love isnt just wonderful, pure and empowering, it also can be twisted, destructive and cause the darkst nightmares. And with this family the writers know how to portray the complex love in an abusive houshold thats destined to go up in flames and they also know how to hint at their troubled past with the family portrait.
But this heart visual tells us even more in connection with the positions of their hands. And with these two key factors, lets start with Gabriel:
His hands convey it so strongly. He loves/d Emilie and Adrien so much and no doubt this love for them was certainly the reason why he started his quest as Hawkmoth. But he is now losing himself more and more in the pleasure of his villainy to the point where he forgets why he's doing it in the first place and becomes a complete monster (of a father). But this turn and spiraling into villainy didn't came out of nowhere - this root already had to be in him to grow like that. And this is also something the portrait indeed hints at as well.
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Because Gabriel is the only one of the three who:
1. We see so completely open and without hesitation reach out and hold BOTH his family members.
2. Is visually “cut off” from them as well.
But this doesn't mean he was excluded and the only one who truly cared and loved, it just shows that things were more... complicated...as usual.
This is best explained with Adriens hand placements:
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One hand is holding his mothers but the other one is visibly not reaching out for his father. But as we all know, that's not because Adrien doesn't love him. In season 1-3 it is made more than clear that Adrien does not hate his father - he loves him alot and tries to be there for him and be patient because he knows that the loss of his mother brought his father terribly down.
Sure, Adrien gets frustrated and angry with him, literally how could he not?? But Adrien tries his best to reach out to Gabriel so they can bond and come out of this tragedy stronger.
But this loving willingness to forgive his father for the chance of growing a father-son bond with him doesn't change the fact that these two didn't had a bond prior to this. And let's be honest here, does anybody actually think this distance between them was caused by Adrien? I don't think so.
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So notice how Adriens hand - not reaching out for his fathers - is the only one in the portrait NOT inside or forming the heart.
When the connection of the hands between the family members symbolise their connection to another, then Adrien keeping the hand for his father away from the display of love is VERY telling. It tells us very directly what this distance did to Adriens side of the relationship. Despite Gabriels hand being right there, Adrien does not meet the gesture. And I cannot believe that he did it out of resentment, nothing in the show indicated such strong negative emotions from past Adrien.
It's much more likely that Adrien not reaching for his fathers hand is meant to show us that Adrien felt that he either CAN'T return the gesture because he fears that it'll end in an unpleasant reaction from Gabriel - that it isn't Adriens "place" to reach out to his busy and distant father like that, like it's demanding something - or Adrien simply didn't took Gabriel laying his hand on his shoulder, in the context of posing for a portrait, as a gesture of love and affection.
The way I interpret the portrait is that prior to Emilies dissappearence Adrien did not exactly try to reach out to his father the same way he did from s1-s3, which, I mean, of course wasn't the case. Not only is it NOT the 13 years olds (or younger) job to form an emotional connection to their absent parent - when that’s the PARENTS job - it also wouldn't be necessarily "needed" for Adrien to do so.
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Because Emilie at this point was still in the picture so and she was the complete opposite. She was a (or maybe the ONLY) safe, reliable and loving constant of parental attention, affection and care in his life and because of these two HARSH contrasts Adrien learned from very early on to focus mostly completely on her in that regard while kinda blocking his father out.
That most likely wasn't even an active choice whatsoever - Gabriel proofed to be an unreliable resource so Adrien learned to subconciously treat him that way out of self protection. That doesn't mean he had any kind of dislike or malice against his father it just means that he wasn't able or allowed to connect with Gabriel the way he needed. Several episodes show that Gabriel deadass only parented like 15 minutes tops in his life with one of the worst offenders kinda being “Gigantitan” ngl.
So yeah, when I see that the portrait wants to tell me that prior to Emilies loss, Adrien - a 12-13 year old at most - is THIS used to rely solely on the strong bond he has with his mother and not even really reaching out for his fathers love, then I can't help but interpret it in the way that... Well... Gabriel was so distant and emotionally unreliable to Adrien for all his life, that Gabriel simply... wasn't needed by his son. Not at that point of time at least.
And while this may seem weird, because obviously Adrien only now starts to stop craving for his fathers affection and approval (which is btw a horrible, HORRIBLE thing and not something good. A half orphan losing the last remaining hope he had left of having the chance to finally get to form a bond with the only other parent he has left, just to be crushed by disappointment and abandonment all over again until he let's go, is REALLY NOT as much of a good thing people will make it out to be. This is... plain awful) it's actually quite logical.
Adriens hand outside the heart doesn't mean that his father meant nothing to him and therefore refuses to meet and accept his affection (that's literally the complete opposite of what the show shows us), it means that Adriens and Gabriels father-son relationship suffers from a fatal emotional disconnection caused by miscommunication/ a lack of communication.
And this was caused by Gabriel. How? Let me elaborate on that by going a bit far afield (cuz lbh we all have time for this. I’m writing this in quarantine and youre reading this is quarantine, so lets gooooooooooooo).
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In "The bubbler" Adrien says that his father "always forgot his birthday", but I cannot agree with this in true honesty. Gabriel is controlling his sons entire life, calls him "the epitome of perfection" and temporarily truly gave up being Hawkmoth for him, he definitely never forgot Adriens birthday.
"The bubbler" even SHOWS us that Adriens perspective of the situation is actually not the truth:
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This is Adriens first birthday after Emilies dissappearence and it's incredibly telling how Gabriel handles the planning.
What this entire little sequence tells me is that Gabriel is completely and UTTERLY used to NOT be the one to take care of anything related to Adriens birthday. So Emilie was always the one who did it but somehow - now without her - Gabriel apparently still hasn't even considered changing anything about that nasty non-involvement and just expected Natalie to pick everything up where Emilie left it.
Because let's be real here, knowing Natalie she would NOT have forgotten to get a present if Gabriel truly had told her to. Natalie is never presented to do mistakes like that but Gabriel on the other hand IS definitely presented to us claiming things about himself as ultimate, blameless and true when they simply do not reflect reality. A great example: Gorizilla
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You didn’t even speared a minutes of your time for Adrien and he DID try to! Asshat… It's a problem guys. The lack of self awareness Gabriel displays in moments like this is legitimately concerning when you think about how deeply this man is falling right now.
But back to the topic:
Because even if Gabriel didn't even consider doing anything himself for Adriens birthday - not even taking the time to SEE his son (who just recently lost his mother, come on Gabe, really?) - one thing one cannot hold against him: he sure as hell remembered Adriens birthday like any decent parent would and it wasnt portrayed as a this-year-for-the-first-time thing.
And yet Adriens statement still makes complete sense. Because a big, BIG problem with Gabriel is just how much he takes things for granted. He EXPECTS things to be universally known and to never be doubted, just because that's how HE sees them. I will write 10 essays if it's needed to make people understand that Gabriel DOES truly love Adrien, it's just that Gabriel HIMSELF is such a rotten, twisted and toxic person that he cannot see how much his (oppressing) behavior and the way he (doesn't) express his love hurts Adrien and that HE is the one at fault. (for more, once again, read this)
Gabriel LOVES Adrien but he takes the love he feels as such a matter-of-fact that he just completely... forgets to show it.
And when we take Adriens words and look at the Family portrait it unfortunately seems that...
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…. Gabriel ALWAYS forgot to show it.
Adriens hand - that should at least be reaching out to his father - is outside of the heart in accepting certainty. Because that's what Gabriels non-presence was for Adrien while growing up: an unreliable and unreachable certainty he had to accept early on as safer to not try to emotionally depend on too much or else he will get hurt.
So yeah, Adrien is the one in the portrait who is very openly not reaching out but only because Gabriel never gave him the needed affection and stability to be able to create that bond.
But let me correct what I said a little earlier: Adrien ALWAYS needed his father. Every kid, especially one in a bad situation like Adrien, does need their parents/friends etc as support system to become independent and confident in a healthy way. And if they don’t have that they WILL crave and look for it!
What Adrien has been doing up to now IS normal for a teenager - humans NEED affection, belonging and safety. What ISNT/SHOULDN’T be normal is Adriens disconnection towards his father in the portrait and just how much Gabriel fails to take care and BE THERE for his son in BOTH TIMES!
Collector:
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Bother Christmas:
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One thing I like about the show is that it portrays their young main cast with one very important truth: The psyche of a child/teenager of their age will react and adapt so it SURVIVES, even if it results in unfortunate consequences in other relationships and places. Thats the psyches main concern and it'll try to cope with the limited experience and development it has in whatever way necessary to get itself to the next day. A coping mechanism is not there to make you a better person, it ensures your SURVIVAL, everything else is a secondary concern.
So seeing pre-show Adrien not react to Gabriels touch and even feel completely unloved and disconnected from him is no surprise to me. Kids are incredibly observant. They may lack the needed experience and knowledge to truly understand that they deserve better and to stand up for themselves but they are masters in picking up red flags in people and can put this danger into perspective while comparing the different danger levels of their options of people and places to adjust their behavior.
Feast:
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Stormy Weather 2:
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So the broken connection between father and son we see in the portrait (that Gabriel doesn't even notice but Adrien fully internalized) isn’t there because Adrien “didnt needed” or wanted his father, its because Adrien NEEDED Gabriel so much in his isolated upbringing but Gabriel didn’t LET him need him - so Adrien had to adjust to that accordingly. Big, huge, ENORMOUS difference.
Honestly the most miraculous thing about Miraculous is that Adrien was able to bring up the strength to stay positive and friendly and to forgive Gabriel in hope for a better future. That boys situation is 7 kinds of depressing and traumatizing...
It's just flabbergasting to me how well this portrait shows how basically non-existent their relationship was at that point. And it's horrible to know that this estranged and unformed bond is all Adrien had left after Emilie dissappeared, just alot worse because after Emilie incident Adrien states that his father changed alot for the worse as well.
So to think that all Adrien had left wasn't even this former basically non-existent relationship with his aloof father - who would only barely show his true affection for his son because he's either not around enough to do so or he thinks it "unnecessary to proof his affection" for/to Adrien because he already thinks it so obvious and undoubtable.
Well he thought wrong. And GOSH, it breaks my heart!
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So now comparing the "Gabriel" hand from Adrien with the one representing his connections with his mother conveys a pretty harsh contrast.
Because last but not least, let's take a look at Emilies hand placements:
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But here is now an interesting difference to Adrien. Whereas we openly see that Adriens side of the Adrien-Gabriel relationship is completely disconnected from the heart/love - showcasing just how badly Adrien has always been neglected by his father - we don't see Emilies hand in her Emilie-Gabriel relationship AT ALL.
Once again just like with Adrien, this doesn't mean she didn't love her husband and that Gabriel was used and fooled by the woman he so utterly adored. It just means that from Emilies point of view things were a bit more complicated. What exactly this is, the portrait is keeping secret from us. We have no way of knowing if and how Emilie is returning her husbands gesture. All we can say is that if she does she is definitely not doing it in such an open and unconflicted way as she does with Adrien.
But since when has anything with this family been this easy?
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One thing the portrait makes very clear, Adrien and Emilie had a strong and good bond. Definitely the healthiest because the Adrien-Emilie connection is the only one depicted without any kind of disruption from both sides. Both mother and son are reaching out for the other ones hand creating a whole half of the heart, showcasing their affection for another openly and without any of the implied doubts the other connections display. And honestly? Comparing all the hand placements, the one connecting Adrien and Emilie just comes across as strikingly pure and true (which makes it even worse that it was HER Adrien lost…)
As I said it's a HARSH contrast to the one Adrien shears with Gabriel. This contrast is highlighted even further by the way these three face on another.
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Emilie and Adrien are positioned facing another and so are Emilie and Gabriel. Telling us that Emilie was "face-to-face" aka involved with both her husband and son. It is Adrien and Gabriel were this looks wildly different. These two have no way of seeing each other in the eyes the way they stand now/then, further displaying their deeply rooted disconnection. It's portrays perfectly how important Emilie was in this family dynamic, because even though Adrien and Gabriel bearly had a connection at all they at least had Emilie as a link between them, keeping the family together. But then they lost her and where this left both father and son off we know oh too well...
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So to collect all the informations we get out if this portrait:
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-Adriens and Emilies relationship was the strongest and purest. Both of their hands connect and reach out for another in the heart, showcasing that they had a loving and positive bond.
-Adriens and Gabriels relationship is heavily scarred by a deeply rooted disconnection leaving Adrien feeling unloved and unwanted by his father to the point where Adriens side of their dynamic is outside the heart altogether. Gabriel may love and adore his son just like he loves his wife and never thought he displayed his love for him in a lacking way, but fact is: this love never reached Adrien the way it should have and Adrien is the one in their dynamic who got severely hurt and damaged by it.
-Gabriel was the only one completely unconflicted and happily at peace with the former Family situation. He's reaching out to both his family members with open love and affection in blissful oblivion that neither his wife nor son could return them the same way (to different degrees for different reasons). Gabriel was the ONLY ONE in the Agreste family who didn't saw problems in their lives and thought them all happy, hence why he's so obsessed with changing the past and bringing THIS state of their family back. He was happy and he had everything he needed and loved right with him, of course he wants THIS back. He's not aware that Emilie and ESPECIALLY Adrien did not feel the same about their former situation and that bringing all of them back to this is not the perfect happy ending for their entire family as he thinks.
-Emilie may not have been as unconflicted with Gabriel as he was with her but she is NOT feeling the same disconnection her son feels and isn't depicted with negative feelings towards Gabriel. Her side in the Emilie-Gabriel relationship is neither shown outright positive as with her son or outright bad as Adrien with Gabriel. Her side of their bond is depicted through her unseen hand placement in the unknown area in between.
-Despite their not so unconflicted feelings towards Gabriel - and Gabriel himself being aloof - neither Emilie nor Adrien are actively trying to cut Gabriel out. They aren't flinching away from his touch or exclude him from the heart whatsoever. He's happily included, obviously feeling loved. They may not be 100% happy and Gabriel doesn't notice it, but they aren't denying him his happiness and make him unhappy. Again, he's the only one truly happy here. Something neither Emilie nor Adrien tried to take away from him.
-Emilie and Adrien are facing each other as do Emilie and Gabriel, implying the presence of communication and a bond. Adrien and Gabriel do not face each other, showing their disconnected bond. If they could see each others face Adrien would have been able to see that Gabriels hand is a gesture of genuine affection and Gabriel could see that Adriens expression does not exactly display pure happiness the way he thinks. This also goes for Emilie. Emilie just like her husband is placed BEHIND her son, so even if she is facing him she would not be able to really see just how much Adrien is not satisfied and truly happy with his life at that point (meaning how unhappy being looked up, friendless and at distance with his father actually makes him).
- This fascinating family makes me sad and I like it lol
736 notes · View notes
fluffi · 4 years ago
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SARCOLINE SUNSET I: WELCOME HOME, OUTSIDER :: SOOBIN
pairing: soobin x gn!reader, platonic!ot5 x gn!reader genre: fluff, some subjective angst, bits of humor, enemies-to-lovers, childhood friends word count: 4002 event: #summerscape for @kpopscape credit: @enha-woodzies​ for making the gfx for this series! show her some love <3 author’s note: i accidentally deleted this post so here is a rushed reupload. it might not be as good as the original because it isnt proof read as well but i still hope the algorithm picks it up, maybe this’ll be good for the post. Also, the second part will be coming out in 15 days. warnings: people disappearing, mentions of burning and fire (further warnings will be released in the next parts as the story gets darker)
THIS STORY IS PURELY A WORK OF FICTION AND DOES NOT DICTATE JAY OR NI-KI’S PERSONAL LIVES AND/OR FAMILY.
part two ->
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The blonde stared up at an intricately designed structure in awe, walking forward to touch the sides of it and running his calloused hands up and down its rusted carved wedges. It seemed oddly cliche and unrealistic, but he could feel its story. Every touch of the ceramic pillar provided him with emotion that he couldn’t bring himself to explain.
The sun hadn’t set yet, but he could make out the faint reflection of it settling in the background. The huge pine trees around him were making conversation with each other; their faint whispers and rustles providing peace to his veins.
So entranced in the scenery of such a mystical place, he forgot to watch out for his younger peer. Kicking back into his senses, he nervously called out, “Riki! You there?” His voice, usually strong and boisterous, laced fear today.
“Don’t worry about me Jay, I’m right behind you. Just climbing this fence..and..there!” Riki let out a grunt as he jumped onto the soft grass, looking at his older friend with an innocent grin.
At the sight of his buddy, Jay visibly loosened. It was clear that he didn’t feel safe in this environment, yet felt entranced to it in some way. Riki caught up to him in a quick jog before standing next to Jay, in awe at the magnificent view that they were spectating for the first and possibly last time.
“Is this…the place you were talking about?” Riki was out of breath from running after his peer. He pats the grassy patch below him before slumping onto it, crossing his legs afterward.
Jay took a seat next to him, setting his canvas satchel and leather jacket next to him. “According to the maps and books, this is the right spot. I just want to see if the myth is true.”
Riki clapped his hands in excitement and turned to face Jay. “We’re staying till the sun sets right? I want to see what the carousel looks like at night! This structure is so fascinating. It must be beautiful out here at night.”
“No, we’re walking back as soon as the sun goes down. I do not want to risk being out here at night. People have disappeared from staying too long and I wouldn’t want to worry your mother.”
Riki visibly slumped and turned back in time to see the last drop of orange dip. It was quiet for a while. The singing birds stopped humming their soulful tunes, yet the whispering trees grew louder, their inaudible gossip echoing in the ears of the two boys.
At nine at night, Riki’s mother would call Jay, heeding no response. She would do the same for his parents and his friends. The only piece of information they could provide was that Jay had brought Riki, in his words, to “a magical place”. With no other vital details they could draw from their son’s peers, Jay and Riki’s family agree to call the local police, reporting two missing people: two minors, one last seen in a brown leather jacket, and a taller one tailing alongside him. Both their hairs were dyed in a striking shade of blonde.
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Summer’s heat-blasted onto your skin as soon as you stepped out of your sleek white Toyota. It was good to be back, you supposed. Although it was something that not many people would fawn over, you were ecstatic to be home in town.
Leaving at the mere age of sixteen wasn’t easy. After your parents decided that you were too good for a mediocre high school where people cared more about their body count than grade count, they immediately sent you off to a prestigious boarding school in the big city. You were given three days to pack and say goodbye to your friends, the rest of your family, your world. As excited as you were to study in the evolutionary epicenter of technology, you didn’t like how you had almost no say in this decision.
You didn’t return home from high school even after four years of studying at that mentally draining institution. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to come back, you were just so accustomed to life in the big city that it seemed pointless to return to square one. With the rest of the world finally in your grip (or so you thought), you enrolled in a highly expensive university and received a full-ride scholarship.
Perhaps that was your breaking point. Piles of work that could never be cleared must’ve got to your head. No one out there seemed to care about your mental health and well-being. The only reason you were allowed to take a break from the university and return was because of your constant breakdowns that your lecturers called “distracting” and “unethical”. You were hoping that this drop-by in town would give you a physical and mental cleanse.
There was no place as hot as home, from where you had been. The blazing sun scorched onto the road. Carrying baggage by itself was already hard enough, but this heat was immensely torturing. You struggled to carry your belongings while trying to close the car boot at the same time. Oh, a pity. You had just returned home and you were slowly turning into a bundle of disorganization, unlike your previous methodical attitude.
“Need a hand?” A familiar suede voice behind your shoulder sounded like music to your ears as you dropped all of your luggage and turned back to see…
“Taehyun!” Child best friend number one. You were looking at a once-innocent boy with doe eyes who had matured into a fine young man. His hair was dyed platinum blonde and, although younger than you, possessed a flair that was completely unlike his past self. His facial features were more prominent than ever and you wondered if all of your friends had developed as well as he had.
You locked your arms around his neck and embraced him as he took your baggage from you.
“You’re so tall now!” You gasped in awe and looked him up and down.
“Of course I am! A boy has to grow, doesn’t he?”
Speak of the devil(s), four people tagged behind Taehyun, waiting for you to notice their presence. All of them were just as tall (if not taller) than your blonde friend and stood out like a sore thumb. It wasn’t just the height, their hair was also in very...exciting colors.
“Can’t believe you forgot about us just for Taehyun.” Ah, that nasal voice was so recognizable. Choi Yeonjun, second-best friend. You cherished him like he was your secret weapon, a power waiting to be unleashed into your industrial world. Although older than Taehyun, they seemed to be the same height now. You couldn’t tell because his new neon pink hair was waxed slick and puffy which made him look a teensy bit taller than his younger friend. You had seen him around on social media and he was a hair-changing chameleon.
Alongside Yeonjun was Hueningkai, better known as Kai in the friend group. He was the youngest one, constantly babied and spoiled, you could say. He was probably influenced by the rest of his friends too, his hair now in a mossy shade of blonde. 
Poor Yeonjun, you completely disregarded his existence and dashed over to Kai instead, eagerly standing next to him to compare heights. The kid had grown so much, you couldn’t tell if you were contented that he was now taller than you or dejected that you had missed so much when you weren’t around.
“Hey, wait up!” Someone from behind called. With Hueningkai and Yeonjun blocking your view you couldn’t see who that one person walking next to Choi Beomgyu was.
Beomgyu, the last friend who joined the friend group. He was always a comedian and never failed to make your day. Although, he didn’t seem so smiley anymore. You figured that it was school stress and adulting getting the best of him. We all had those days; you regrettably knew them like you knew the back of your hand . Unlike the rest of his friends, Beomgyu’s hair was kept in a natural shade of ivory brown. He had never been swayed by the rest of the crowd.
There were so many things to do, so many people to see. You had missed out on most of your growing: having fun with friends, staying up late at night just to watch the stars, dancing on your balcony. You had missed the people too. The town felt different from when you had left it.
“Soobin! Don’t just stand behind, meet our friend! They just returned from the city, right?” Beomgyu ran over to you before giving you a little squeeze.
Who’s Soobin?
“Hey, I’m Choi Soobin. Twenty-one this year. I moved here a few years ago. You must have left before I showed up.” A simple and concise introduction from the blue-haired man. Maybe he was the root of this hair-dyeing trend in town (pun very much intended), as well as the height trend since he was just as tall, if not taller than the rest of the boys.
You briefly introduced yourself but that was about it. You didn’t know how to create small talk, nonetheless with someone completely unfamiliar to you.
Later that day, you wondered if he had replaced you, become another guardian in the friend group. As one of the oldest, you and Yeonjun were always known as the parents of your three “kids”, but Soobin seemed to take care of them equally well. Throughout the day, you watched his every action, how he helped Beomgyu with homework, how he styled Kai’s hair, how he treated Taehyun to his favorite meal, exactly like what you did when you were still around. For once, you felt like the outsider.
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Marshmallow Night had always been a tradition here. It was a five-of-you kind of thing, well, the six-of-you now. It had always been the go-to celebration whenever one of you hit a milestone, or was just held for fun. The days of joy where the only thing you had to worry about was whether your smores were burnt.
It had changed a lot over the years, you guys would add some new events to it and remove the ones you guys outgrew, like hopscotch.
You had missed most of its evolution.
Instead of being the main catalyst for today’s event, you resorted to sitting at the side as Soobin took the lead, carrying tables back and forth as well as setting up the fire in a method that the five of you had never used.
Oh, how much you loathed him. You hated his innocent-looking face that spurred out words of authority and boastfulness. You couldn’t stand how he looked so obnoxious with his bright blue hair, his dark brown eyes that held an impeccable gleam. He looked so cheeky, so mean, and worst of all, he had made all of your friends convert to mini spawns of him. Even Yeonjun, the oldest member, no longer felt like the Choi Yeonjun you once knew.
If you could, you would throw him out of your hometown, except that you seemed to be the outsider here. Anyone who walked past would see five people sitting on a huge log, helping each other light marshmallows and biscuits. They would barely notice the one person hunched over on the other side, sitting on the ground, eyes dazed and uninterested.
Occasionally one of the boys would call out to you, either hand you a s’more or ask if you were alright, to which you responded, “I’m alright! Don’t worry about me, I’m having fun.”
Anyone could also see that you weren’t in the zone, but you didn’t want to ruin the moment and be a party pooper. You ended up spending most of the time scrolling on your phone, checking school emails, and such. It didn’t feel like you were back home, it felt like you were on a vacation, on your own.
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The commotion had died down, for the most part. Everyone else was either discussing school gossip in hushed voices or making the most of use of their electronic device. You were tempted to join the little heated conversation that Soobin and Beomgyu were having, but you didn’t know who this ‘Chaeyeon’ girl was and either way, you wouldn’t want to voluntarily speak to Choi Soobin.
It wasn’t long before both of them went to do something else, the only sound prevalent being the wood crackling from the bonfire and the occasional chirp of evening birds.
It was a loud, sucked-in breath that drew the attention of everyone, eyes pinned onto the instigator.
Choi Soobin, once again disrupting the peace of this curated environment. He ducked his head in apology and you were about to return to your world when Kai’s curiosity got the best of him.
“Why did you just do that?” His booming voice resounded over everyone else.
You weren’t going to lie, you were curious too. It wasn’t every day you heard a gasp like that.
Soobin looked back up, eyes wide and awake. He was excited about something but seemed to be masking it for the sake of..suspense?
“Okay. You guys know Yongsam Park right?” He put his phone down and tapped his hands on his thighs in a state of urgency.
Now that statement got everyone’s attention. “It’s the flower place outside our town, everyone passes it when they enter. Of course we would know where the place is. Why are you so adamant about it?” Taehyun inquired.
“Well, have any of you gone inside the park? Or near the landmark in general?”
“No. Why would we? There’s nothing to do there than to take pictures of boring flower statues.” You stated.
“See. You guys don’t know anything about the place.” He smirked tilting his head upwards and proudly crossing his arms.
“Could you cut to the chase and tell us what it is already?” Thank Yeonjun for his smart, impatient mouth.
Soobin didn’t answer and merely flipped his phone so you could see whatever was on it. The only words you could make out were “Yongsam...missing...carnival” and something related to the park before he turned it back, away from your view.
“You can’t just say that we don’t know anything about this place then proceed to give us nothing about it.” You rolled your eyes, disinterested in the conversation once again.
“Fine. I’ll send it to you.” Soobin rolled his eyes back as four of the other boys snickered. They loved seeing the two of you bicker.
In courtesy of Beomgyu who gave Soobin your number (without your consent), you received a news article and skimmed through it with eager eyes:
[WHAT’S THE HYBE?]
YONGSAM PARK CURRENTLY UNDER INVESTIGATION, AUTHORITIES SAY 3 days ago
What’s the deal with Yongsam Park? Insiders say that, although bland and boring, Yongsam Park is currently under high-level investigation for the disappearance of a few citizens. The flower-decorated park is the perfect place to take Instagram-worthy pictures and is quite harmless in itself, so visitors were shocked to arrive at the park only to find it surrounded by heaps of yellow tape.
Yongsam Park was developed by Kim Yongsam, director of My Flowers, a multi-million florist franchise that has now spread to Japan and Taiwan. In a 2015 Interview with the millionaire, he mentioned that he had created the park in the inspiration of the rising ootd picture trend, also known as the outfit-of-the-day trend, which he had initially discovered from his teen daughter. 
“I wanted to create a welcoming park for people of all ages, but I couldn’t find a suitable place to do it without the budget being drastically high. In the end, my team and I found an abandoned site and decided to build a simple structure with lower costs up there. Props to my team for the discovery of this landmark. The scenery there, especially in the evening, is stunning .” He stated in the 2015 interview with Soup Magazine.
What’s the abandoned site? With the evidence that is still standing, Yongsam Park is rumored to have previously been a carnival. Said evidence is a worn-down carousel in the back of the park, along with piles of other burnt carnival decoration and equipment. With research, Yongsam Park’s site may have once been an abandoned carnival that perished from an unknown wildfire. This may have been the primary cause of the drought that ensued in the 80s, leaving only a carousel and ashes behind. When questioned, Mr. Kim said that he had decided to leave the carousel standing behind the park due because he felt ‘drawn by its alluring glow’, as quoted.
Investigators and the local police have only enclosed the flower section of Yongsam Park because that was where the victims were spotted. They believe that disappearances took place there and are currently trying to find evidence to back up their stance. Most of this new information is not known to the public, however, Kim and his team are trying to keep it that way. The current disappearance count is seven people, the most recent case being two high-schoolers.
The carousel is still open and does not require a visitor ticket, but visitors are advised to take precautions and leave before the sun sets.
RELATED
TWO MORE BOYS HAVE DISAPPEARED AT THE NOW INFAMOUS YONGSAM PARK 5 days ago
FAMILY OF TOURISTS DISAPPEAR AT YONGSAM PARK, INSIDERS SAY THIS IS THE SECOND CASE OF DISAPPEARANCE HERE 2 weeks ago
JAPANESE COUPLE DISAPPEAR AT FLOWER PARK, NETIZENS CALL THE NEWS A POLITICAL DISTRACTION 3 weeks ago
“Are you seriously...telling us...that we should visit a place where people have been kidnapped?” Yeonjun gawked. “Dude, that’s so stupid. What if we die or something?”
“Don’t say that! I was just curious if you guys wanted to go since it’s so near and since your old friend is back home.”
“It’s a dumb move. I’m not risking my life just so I can celebrate the return of my friend. Not worth it.” Beomgyu huffed.
“Hey! You’re worth it, right?” Soobin glanced at you, waiting for a response.
He was...defending you? His ulterior motives were questionable and you weren’t sure if he was protecting you because he cared about you (cue the puking) or solely because he wanted to go to Yongsam Park that bad.
You didn’t reply and chose to drown out the wailing and chaos that ensued with your friends. You clicked on a related article below, curious to learn more about this lesser-known part of the park.
[WHAT’S THE HYBE?]
TWO MORE BOYS HAVE DISAPPEARED AT THE NOW INFAMOUS YONGSAM PARK 5 days ago
Park Jongseong (20) and Nishimura Riki (15) mentioned to their friends that they would be heading to ‘a magical place’, before disappearing for around a week. They were last spotted walking through Yongsam Park, according to anonymous witnesses. This is the third case of disappearances at the park and both teens are the sixth and seventh people to go missing.
Both families reported their children missing just two days after their disappearance. With this case being the last straw, local authorities forcibly shut down Yongsam Park despite protests from staff and management.
Parents of the two minors refused to respond when called for an interview and HYBE reporters resorted to interviewing the victims’ friends instead.
“Jay’s never been a bad kid. Yeah, he might be late here and there, but he wouldn’t skip class or fly across the country for vacation during school. I just don’t understand why he’s not here with us. He wouldn’t voluntarily disappear.” Park Sunghoon (19), a friend and classmate of Jongseong (who is better known as Jay among his friends) said.
“Although I’m not close with Jay, I know Riki personally and I know for a fact that both of them wouldn’t run away like that. Why, Riki was gearing up for a dance competition that he’s been excited about all year, and now he’s just gone? Like that? Riki has always been like my little brother, and he’ll always be. I just want him back at my side.” A teary-eyed Lee Heeseung (20) says.
Netizens have been complaining about the lack of coverage on this issue.
“Maybe Mr. Kim spent all his money on covering this story up from the mainstream public. That’s why he had to build the stupid park on an abandoned sketchy site.” An anonymous netizen commented.
Regardless, we’ll be keeping our prayers for Jongseong and Riki, as well as the five other victims, to return home soon.
“...you guys are such wimps.” That was the first thing you heard Soobin say when you tuned in to the conversation again.
How dare he say that? How dare he have the courage to call you, someone who moved out on your own at 16 to live in the big, scary world, a..wimp?
“Look, Choi Soobin. I may be a lot of things, but I’m not a wimp. I didn’t say that I wasn’t interested on this trip.” You stand up and blurt out without thinking twice.
The rest of the boys are gawking at you, their mouths open wide in awe and shock. Yes, you weren’t a wimp, that was for sure, but they had known you all their life as someone who could not stand going out into the wilderness. Maybe the big city had really changed you.
“At least someone wants to go! Perfect. We can leave tomorrow at noon, bring your camping stuff!” Soobin grabbed his things and began walking away.
“Camping?” The five of you exclaimed in unison.
Taehyun, the rational member, gasped. “I, personally, wouldn’t mind going to the carousel thing..or whatever it is, but I am not staying the night. Dude, are you nuts?” The rest of you nodded your heads in agreement.
“It says in the article that we are advised to leave before the sun sets.” You point out, trying to keep your voice as steady as possible in fear of breaking this mask of false confidence, when in reality, you were terrified of this place.
Soobin turned back and eyed you down disinterestedly. “Conclusion is that we’ll bring a small backpack, or whatever you guys want to pack, and we’ll stay there until eight. Deal?”
“Seven.” Hueningkai timidly said.
“Whatever you guys want.”
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You hadn’t been able to sleep last night. It wasn’t due to fear of the place you were going, rather, you weren’t too excited about having to spend half of your day around Soobin.
What were you going to say to him? You were definitely overthinking at this point.
You know, they always say that the person one hates the most is the one that they also love most. And when Soobin flipped his blue hair back or cheekily smiled, showing his endearing dimples, you couldn’t help but…
No! You loathe Choi Soobin. You couldn’t stand his smile, or his hair, or his height. That evil moonwitch.
“Hey, you ready to go?” Speak of the devil (or moonwitch), you spotted a fluff of blue hair in your peripheral vision.
You couldn’t even muster up the courage to look back at him, merely nodding your head while staring at the white wall.
“Why aren’t you looking at me? Are you...scared?” You could see him wiggle his eyebrows as he made that statement.
That was it. You turned back at him. “Yes I am. I’m absolute terrified. I can’t stand the fact that I have to forcibly spend my precious time around you. It’s like I’m about to voluntarily live a nightmare.”
Woah there, calm down. You had smoke spurting out of your ears at this point.
Soobin’s once excited face fell into one of disappointment. “Yeah, it’s a nightmare having to be around you too. Gosh, the immaturity.” He left the room in haste as your eyes shot lasers through his well-toned back.
Maybe you had gone too far with the insult. He hadn’t been mean to you at all, really.
Then again, he had been mean. He took your place when you weren’t around. Suddenly, you were determined to get it back.
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“Hop on the magic school bus!”
“Shut up, Yeonjun.” You deadpanned before leaning your head on his shoulder. The two of you were finally falling back into routine and you couldn’t help but bask in this nostalgia.
You also couldn’t help but notice how Soobin kept on looking through the rearview mirror at the both of you, pupils darting away once you locked eyes with him.
Man, this was going to be a long ride.
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2021 © fluffi
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cdroloisms · 4 years ago
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yk, I always thought of c!dream to perfectly fit the saying “the road to hell is paved with good intentions.” and every time I think about it I get even sadder send hepl
hello !! it’s been a bit, so sorry anon, but ty for ur patience :D 
but yeah !! that saying REALLY fits c!dream - he’s someone that has done a lot of awful, unjustifiable things, but they were all for a Reason, as much as people like to think otherwise. he’s said so before, repeatedly - it’s all for a vision of the smp as it “used to be,” one “giant family” that can be happy again. and obviously, what he does isnt right, and will never be right - but in the end it’s all in a very twisted attempt to find a home he lost, which makes his character all the more twisted and tragic, yknow? 
sometimes i wonder what an earlier dream would say, after seeing how far he’s fallen, which is what really led to this oneshot - it’s a bit messy, but i like it nonetheless. c!dream is a disaster that makes me Very Sad 
tw: derealization, implied torture, hallucinations, injuries, dark content, mentioned abuse, manipulation, emotional distress, implied suicide, panic attacks, self-hatred  
“Was it worth it?”
Dream blinks, looks up; this is new. He’s no stranger to hallucinations, of course - they’d started somewhere around the first week or two of solitary, and had only grown in frequency and duration as time went on, but this has never happened before.
The figure standing - well, sitting in front of him is hazy at the edges, indistinct, little more than a splash of green and grey, blown out at the edges by the bright white highlights from the lava lighting them from behind. Even so, Dream is all too familiar with the craftsmanship of the iron armor they wear, with the bright green hoodie tucked underneath that he’d once worn like a second skin. The figure’s face turns just enough to catch the slightest sliver of a mask.
“Well?”
“You’re me,” Dream says - breathes, really, his throat too sore for the words to be much more than a labored exhale. The other Dream turns, the lava throwing shifting shapes in orange and red all over his chestplate, his mouth visible and pulled into a frown underneath the bottom edge of the mask. Dream touches the cracked surface of the one sitting on his own face reflexively, feeling the jagged hole on its left side surrounding his eye, the edge pulled over his chin to keep as much of his face obscured as possible.
“Well, I mean,” the other Dream’s hands come to the edges of his mask, easing it over to the side of his face in a practiced motion; his eyes burn brilliantly in the dark room, green and furious and bright. “I wouldn’t exactly say that, now.”
Dream knows that this man isn’t him - well, isn’t him anymore, doesn’t have the burn scars that trail all over his body, doesn’t know the feeling of his stomach turning itself inside out in pain and emptiness, doesn’t know how it feels to have an axe dragged painfully, slowly over his skin over and over and over and over until he’s screamed his throat raw. This is the ghost of a man that has not lived and died a million times, that does not know the feeling of blood on his hands better than he does kindness, that can think of other faces and feel something other than shattered ribs and remembered pain.
“Was it worth it?” The other Dream watches him, eyebrows furrowed, insistent. It’s hard to remember that this was once him, that he has a face made of skin and muscle and bone instead of porcelain and leather even with the bruises and dried blood beneath his mask reminding him otherwise. The expressions on his face, the ones that must be on Dream’s own face, feel foreign, like they belong to someone that isn’t him. Maybe that’s the point.
“You’ll need to get more specific,” Dream’s voice cracks, throat protesting at the strain pulling at the still healing wounds from within it. Dream takes the pain, boxes it up, files it away; he’s becoming pretty good at that. “Was what worth it?”
The other man throws his arm out in an arc, gestures vaguely at the entire cell. “This! All of this- this prison, what you did to Tommy, what you did on Doomsday, what you did in the vault.” His words burn with a dangerous fury, and Dream closes his eyes. It’s not real. It’s not real. “You ruined everything! You destroyed our home! Everything is gone and it’s all your fault!”
“Don’t-” Dream’s voice cracks, shatters in on itself, and he swallows around the pain and pushes on. “Don’t act like you wouldn’t do the exact same thing as me.”
The other man scoffs, a fiery light dancing in his pupils. “As if. This is all your fault. You didn’t have to exile the kid. You didn’t have to blow up the community house. And you sure as hell didn’t have to manipulate a fucking teenager, you sick fuck.”
The voice morphs, overlays with the echoes of voices he hasn’t heard in what feels like an eternity. His back burns, stings; his head pounds furiously and threatens to plunge his world into darkness. Through it all, green eyes stare at him, twin flames in his ever blurrier vision, looking for all the world like a god handing down judgment.
“You know you would,” Dream mutters, each word dropping and shattering on the ground like broken glass, “if you had to sit in here for just a chance at bringing them together, you would. If you had to burn the whole damn server down for them, you wouldn’t hesitate.”
The other Dream shakes his head, teeth bared. “Don’t you dare pretend that you did this for them. Don’t you dare pretend that you don’t deserve this.”
I deserve this. I know, I know, I know. “But you would.”
The hallucination’s shoulders rise, fall; it’s hazy, shimmering from the heat, but the eyes glow ethereally and feel more real than anything in the cell.
“You’re an idiot, you know?” He laughs, and Dream tastes iron and ash and salt. “You’re so fucking stupid. You- you thought that the problem was Tommy. You blamed everything on Tommy because you couldn’t see him as anything other than the person that ruined our server and you’re so fucking stupid.”
The voice distorts, echoes in on itself; a half-hearted whisper of wrong wrong wrong rises in Dream’s mind and melts under the fury of the other’s glare. The image shimmers, shifts, and the other Dream- is he even Dream, anymore? - smiles humorlessly, stepping closer. It’s not real, Dream knows, because the image is hazy and flat and wrong but his mind echoes with the sound of shoes scuffed against obsidian and a netherite blade dragging against stone and the book, Dream, and we’ll stop-
“The real problem was you. It was always you. You were the one that ruined the server, you were the one that blew up the community house, you were the one that destroyed L’manburg. You are the one that everyone hates, that everyone fears. You are the villain, Dream, a monster. You’ve always been a monster. Now that you’re gone? The server is finally at peace. You were the problem.”
“And- well, Dream,” The figure leans over, lips right by Dream’s ear, and when they speak their voice is sweet-sharp, all-too-familiar. Quackity. “I guess you should’ve fuckin’ offed yourself when you had the chance.”
He flinches back, eyes squeezing shut, hands scrabbling around his neck. His lungs heave and he tries to suck in air but he can’t there is lava in his chest like everything inside has been torn apart like the words have ripped through him like he’s no more than wet paper and he chokes and stutters on the exhale and it’s not real it’s not real it’s not-
(That night, long after Quackity leaves with a fresh bouquet of bloodstain blooms splattered over his shirt like a field of blooming poppies, after the Warden leaves from forcing another round of health potions down his throat, Dream curls around his ribs in the back corner of his room, watching the lava fall.
Was it worth it?
He laughs, low, bitter, every inch of him feeling scaped raw and open and hollow, thinking of a world without himself in it, of a sky and earth and family with the ugly parts cut neatly away. He thinks he must be a wither skeleton, watching as everything his fingertips touch crumbles away into black rot and ash, breathes in and out and hears the same echoing rattle from deep within his chest. Was it worth it?
It must’ve been, he tells himself, even as the sound of a drop of brilliant purple magic falling against the obsidian makes his muscles seize, leaves him cowering under a blow that does not come. It must’ve been worth it, because-
What was this all for, if it wasn’t?)
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Uh I don't know if you're still taking prompts but I'm dying to read something where Ethan finds out Benji has tattoos (just likes Simon's) and Ethan is all ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡(ӦvӦ。) I even have some fanart in my blog or at Instagram @ biablioteca xoxo
hi!! thank you for the prompt :D this took me a while to answer, my apologies for that hhhhhhhh. the fanart is here if anyone wants to check it out, it's really good!!
without further ado, the fic, 1448 words long. enjoy!!
read on ao3!!
[---]
tattoos [that i didn't know you had]
“Hey,” Benji whispers. Ethan tilts his head towards Benji, acknowledging him. They’re curled up in the back of a van with Jane; Will’s driving and Ilsa’s sitting next to him. Jane is asleep on Ethan’s shoulder, the white bandages around her leg bright in the dim light of the van. They’re returning from a mission, a long, exhausting one and it required all of Ethan’s team, excluding Luther, who was on his honeymoon.
“I think I’ve been shot,” Benji tells Ethan quietly, and Ethan jerks up, all thoughts of sleep forgotten. Jane groans as he dislodges her.  
“What?” Ethan hisses. “Benji-”
Benji understands. “Bullet went through me. I’m bleeding quite a lot. Um, it was numb, but not anymore. I’ve got a cloth bunched up against it.”
Ethan knocks on the sliding door between the storage and driver’s seat. “Will,” he says loudly. Ilsa slides the door open and pokes her head through.
“What?”
“Benji’s been shot. Drive faster.”
Ilsa’s eyes widen; she’s clearly too tired to police her emotions. She nods and a moment later, the van moves faster with a screech.
---
Benji’s almost passed out by the time they reach the safe house. Ilsa helps her girlfriend limp inside the house, while Will rushes inside to get the first aid kit ready. Ethan half carries Benji, stumbling through the cold night air into the house as lights flicker on inside.
Jane’s collapsed on a chair, her face pale and sweaty. Her bandages need changing, and Ilsa notes Ethan’s glance at them before grabbing a pile of bandages and handing Jane a flask of whiskey she downs in a gulp.
Ethan winces as Benji moves away the bloody cloth he’d been clutching to his side, revealing his bloody flannel. It’s soaked through.
“How did it take you so long to tell me about this,” Ethan asks, concealing his anger.
Benji shrugs. “Jane was shot. Her wound was more lethal. Forgot about mine.”
“You forgot- how did you-” Ethan runs a hand through his hair, frustrated beyond measure. How did Benji just, forget about his fucking gunshot wound. Ethan wants to punch something.
Will enters the living room, carrying a tray with needles, thread, scissors and alcohol. “Remove your flannel,” he says testily. He looks harried, in a way Will rarely does.
Benji looks up at Ethan, and Ethan, helpless in the face of his eyes, removes the flannel gently. He blinks in surprise at what it reveals, Benji has tattoos.
Ethan stares at them as Will stitches Benji up, Benji’s hand crushing his. They twine around Benji’s left shoulder and the top of his arm, not going beyond where a shirt would. They’re designs Ethan can’t quite make out, but they’re gorgeous. There’s another on Benji’s collarbone, surrounding the delicate bone. It’s partially covered by Benji’s tank top, and Ethan shocks himself with how much he wants to see the rest of it, and any other tattoos Benji might be hiding.
“Done,” Will interrupts Ethan’s train of thought, and Benji lets go of Ethan’s hand, his head falling back, exposing the long line of his neck.
“Fuck,” he breathes out, and Ethan lets out a chuckle. “I’m never getting shot again.”
“I think that would be a bit difficult, with our line of work,” Will says, amused. He lets out a yawn, and so does Benji.
“Bed?” Ethan asks softly. Benji nods. Will takes his leave, heading up to the room he’s claimed as his own. Ilsa waves at them before picking up Jane, who’s too tired to protest, and climbing up the stairs.
Ethan presumes they’re heading to the second bedroom. He smiles at Ilsa and moves to the sofa, pulling it out and working on turning it to a bed. “I didn’t know you had tattoos,” he starts, keeping his voice as casual as he can.
Benji starts. “These little things?”
Ethan wouldn’t call them little, exactly, they cover Benji’s shoulder and collarbone, and there’s another one on Benji’s right arm. “Yeah.”
“I got them at Oxford,” Benji says, a light smile dancing on his face. “Stupid dare. Asked the artist to do them so they’d be covered by my t-shirts. Looks like he did his job pretty well, huh? The best spy in the IMF didn’t know I had tattoos.”
Ethan grins at Benji, enjoying the twinkle in his eyes. “Not my fault I’ve never seen you in anything but geeky shirts and flannels.”
“You just had to ask,” Benji says, careless as anything, before turning bright red. “I- not that I would just undress for anyone, I mean, like, it’s-”
Ethan pats Benji’s shoulder. “Benj,” he says warmly, and Benji stutters to a stop.
“Thanks,” Benji says, relaxing.
Ethan helps Benji up and into the bed, before sliding in next to him. “I think they’re cool,” he whispers.
A flush overtakes Benji’s face. “Thanks,” he replies, sounding pleased.
Ethan offers him a small smile, before leaning over to flick off the lights.
---
The second time Ethan sees Benji’s tattoos, they’re on a mission slash vacation in Costa Rica. Ethan’s team had been sent to track the movements of an American on the CIA’s Most Wanted list, but he’d left before they could catch him. The hotel they’d booked was for a week, and Ethan managed to coerce the IMF into allowing them to stay and make use of the money that went into the mission.
Jane and Ilsa had their own room, of course, and Will claimed a single for himself. Ethan and Benji had a double to themselves, with two queen sized beds.
“Heaven,” Benji groans, from his bed. He’s sprawled out on it, his shirt riding up a little, revealing a sliver of skin. Ethan swallows and looks away.
“I’m going to hit the beach,” he tells Benji, who makes some grunting noises, not moving from where he looks like he’s trying to bury himself in his bed.
Ethan chuckles and shakes his head, fond, before heading to the bathroom to change and gather his things. He leaves Benji, who’s curled up in a little ball on the bed, to his own devices, and thinks he deserves some sun and a good hour or two with his paperback.
---
Ethan’s about 40 pages into his book when he sees Benji. His eyes widen, and his mouth drops a little, because, well, wow.
Benji’s shirtless, and he’s built [which isn’t a shock, really; Ethan’s always been able to see the lines of his lean body under his tighter t-shirts], but it’s the tattoos that take his breath away.
They cover his entire torso and chest, curving around the muscles carefully. Ethan is pretty sure the tattoos are vines, and they look stunning in the sunlight, enhancing Benji’s build. Ethan is up and moving towards Benji without a second thought, and Benji grins at him.
“Hey,” he says, once Ethan is in earshot. Ethan doesn’t say anything, and Benji’s smile turns a little bemused. Ethan stops once he’s close enough to Benji that if he took one more step and leant forward a little-
Anyways.
His hands flutter around Benji’s skin, not touching, just, hovering. “Little?” Ethan breathes in disbelief.
Benji realizes Ethan’s looking at his tattoos. “Oh. Yeah. Those ones happened later. Took me about five sessions to get it done. Extraordinarily painful.”
Ethan exhales slowly. “Can I-” he moves his hands jerkily. He’s just understood how close to Benji he’s standing.
“Yeah,” Benji nods, studying Ethan with a small frown on his face.
Ethan touches the beginning of the first vine with a finger, and when Benji doesn’t say anything, he continues, tracing the path of the twining plant around Benji’s body. He’s careful, avoiding the scars and bruises. Ethan ends up on the design on his collarbone, and he looks up, into Benji’s eyes.
He can’t read them; he doesn’t know what Benji is going to do or say. Ethan moves to step back, but Benji whispers “Ethan,” and he stops.
Benji slides a hand under his chin [their height difference makes it easier for him to do that,] and tilts Ethan’s head up a little.
Ethan gives in to his impulses. He leans in, and presses his lips to Benji’s.
Benji kisses back immediately, sliding his hands around Ethan’s waist and closing the tiny distance between their bodies. Ethan gets a hand on Benji’s cheek and another pressed on his chest
Later, Ethan will trace the tattoos again, Benji will tell him the stories of how he got them, and Ethan will place a light kiss to all of them. They’ll share a queen-sized bed.
But for now, they stay there, kissing deeply, the sun burning the back of Ethan’s neck.
[---]
yes i KNOW the ending isnt very great hjfhkjshdsjk but here u go anyways :)
thanks for reading!!
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13uswntimagines · 4 years ago
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Where Do I Fit? (Preath x Little!Reader)
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Request: angsty little!reader with Tobin, where Tobin was rs caretaking fir way before Christen(like since college?) and they tell Christen but she isnt okay with it at first but accepts it by gettung r stuffies to apologise?
“It’s not like that Chris,” Tobin sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. Her elbows rested on her knees. The two of you had been trying to explain this for a better part of an hour, and Christen still didn’t understand. 
“Then tell me what it’s like Tobin, because from what you’ve said it sounds like your adult friend pretends to be a toddler, and you give her baths and feed her bottles. Do I need to continue? It’s some kinky shit-...” Christen said exasperated, frustratedly running fingers through her hair. How Tobin thought she would be ok with this? She was at a loss for words. 
Tobin shook her head, blinking up at her girlfriend “It’s not sexual Christen. It just-“  
“What, makes you feel good?” Christen spat, crossing her arms defensively across her chest. 
“Helps me deal with stress and anxiety, in a more positive way,” you mumbled, shifting anxiously on the couch next to Tobin, shivering at the glare Christen sent your way. You weren’t in love with Tobin, actually, you had a girlfriend of your own (who also happened to be little). Tobin was your safety blanket, and you just wished Christen could understand. 
****
Tobin had been your mama since college. An arrangement that had been made after she found you curled up under your dorm room bed, so stressed you didn’t know what day it was much less what stuff you had to get done. Instead of running away, she had pulled you into her arms and rocked you until you were done crying. 
After a little research and some explaining about why you regressed and how long it had been happening on your end, Tobin wholeheartedly embraced the role of Mama. And together you became more comfortable. She made you bottles and helped you keep track of school and soccer. As your best friend she decided it was her duty to protect you, and you were too fucking adorable when you were little to pass up. 
Then your Mama started dating Christen, and after a few months of them being serious, it was decided that you had to tell Chris. That you could propose that she join in your little arrangement. You got along well with the woman, and she was pretty nurturing to you anyway (especially at national team camps) making sure you ate and didn’t stay up at all hours of the night with your girlfriend and the youngins. 
****
Christen paused mid-pace, turning to look her girlfriend in the eye. “I don’t know how I feel about having a third person in our relationship Tobin,” She said calmly, crossing her arms. 
“Baby, I promise you it’s not like that. Y/n may be my baby girl, but I’m not romantically attracted to her. She’s my best friend, and this helps her,” Tobin pleaded, begging for the woman she loved to understand. She didn’t want to lose her and she didn’t want to lose her baby girl. You were a very sensitive little, absolutely petrified of her getting bored and abandoning you one day. She had made so many promises, and she couldn’t bear the thought that she might have to break them. 
“So what, she’ll call you whenever she’s little and you’ll just fucking drop everything to go ‘help’ her?” Christen’s eyebrow quirked up. 
You frowned. You had been hoping that this conversation would end in you having another mommy, so technically you would be calling them, and you were always mindful of overstaying your welcome. 
“I wouldn’t abuse that,” You huffed. 
“But you can’t control when you're little or whatever right? As long as you’re involved in this thing, she will always come first, and that’s not a healthy relationship,”  Christen asked viciously, turning her attention to you for the first time. You sunk into the couch, fighting the natural descent into little space that came with such looks. With looks only Moms could muster. 
You opened your mouth to respond, only for Tobin to jump in first. “Babe, we’ll figure it out. I was act-”
“Well then, I’ll be back when you figure your priorities out,” Christen scoffed, grabbing her keys and her purse and slamming the door behind her. 
Heavy silence stretched across Tobin’s apartment, both of you staring at the door. 
You hadn’t been expecting things to be rainbows and butterflies, but you didn’t think it was going to come down to an ultimatum. Little you or the love of Tobin’s life. It wasn’t a fair choice, but you knew exactly what needed to be done, no matter how much it hurt. 
“I was afraid that would happen,” You sighed, staring at the door, gulping to try and stay big. Trying to force yourself to hold back the painful emotions that were rattling in your chest. Someone had to be the mature one. The realistic one. 
“Y/n,” Tobin said softly, her voice ruff with unushered tears.
You shook your head, patting her knee, but never looking in her direction. If you did you wouldn’t be able to hold yourself together anymore. You wouldn’t be able to do what needed to be done. You had promised yourself that you would never get in the way of her love life, and you were about to follow through on that. “It’s fine Tobin. I understand,”
“I love her,” Tobin said, sniffling, and you felt a little piece of your heart crack. Didn't Tobin love little you too? Just not enough. You swallowed hard, again pushing those feelings down. This wasn’t about you, and Tobin deserved to be happy. 
“I know. Go after her, I know how to let myself out. I’ll go to Lindsey’s and text the group chat to see if anyone wants another little,” You shrugged. Lindsey could handle you and your girlfriend for the night, and the group chat was sure to be able to give you good advice, at least until you figured this whole thing out. They hadn’t let you down yet. 
Tobin made a strangled sound at the mention of the group chat. At the idea that one of her friends could ever replace her as your mama. She knew that it was the logical next step (you and little Em were a handful on your own, together you were little terrors), but she couldn’t help the little twinge in her heart. 
“I’m sorry,” She said, bringing her hand over yours and squeezing tightly. She hoped it could convey how badly she felt about this whole situation. She never thought Christen would react so badly. 
You bit your lip, avoiding looking at your mama. “Don’t be. You were the best Mama ever. Now go,” You mumbled, kissing the back of her hand and shooing her towards the door. She didn’t even spare a glance in your direction as she left. 
You stood from the couch, walking to the guest room that always served as your nursery. You collected your little things bag, Roary (you could never leave him behind), and your Batman blanket before heading towards the door. You paused in the doorway, turning to glance over the room one more time, allowing yourself to reminisce for just a second. How you wished this night had gone differently. You sighed, shaking your head and closing the door behind you. You would find a new caregiver, but Tobin would always be your mama. 
****
You were miserable. Completely, totally and utterly miserable. Hovering somewhere between adult you and little you, curled up in the corner of Lindsey’s couch, staring listlessly into space. Even your girlfriend cuddled into your side, running race cars gently over your legs couldn't cheer you up, and Lindsey was starting to get worried. 
“I don’t know what else to do, short of calling Tobin,” Lindsey said quietly, watching you from where her and Kelley were hovering by the door. It was one thing handling her little handful, and a complete other trying to take in both of you at the same time. She didn’t even know where to begin with you, hence why she called in reinforcements. 
You had known Kelley and Alex for almost as long as you had known Tobin. You trusted them, and if anyone could get you out of your funk, your aunt Kelley could. 
“You tried pudding?” Kelley asked, biting her lip. You were curled into the couch, Emily cuddled into your side, sending glances every now and then towards the stuffed triceratops you had left on the other couch. Pudding was little you’s favorite cheat food, and if that didn’t work she wasn’t sure what to do next. By now the entire team was aware of what was going on between you and Tobin, and none of them were surprised that little you wasn’t taking it so well. 
“And ice cream, and hot pretzels and Mac and cheese. I even tried warm milk,” Lindsey nodded. She had seen you upset before, but never this bad. She was literally at her wits end, and Emily wasn’t even being her normally bratty self. 
“Damn,” Kelley sighed, rubbing the back of her neck anxiously. How Tobin was going to fix this mess she didn’t know and how she was going to aid your obviously miserable self she wasn’t sure either. 
“Yeah, and she forbade me from calling Tobs,” Lindsey mumbled, patting Kelley’s shoulder. Kelley was known to have a magic touch with littles, but Lindsey was skeptical anyone besides your mama could pull you from this funk. 
“From the text she sent the group chat I’m not surprised. I’ll see what I can do,” Kelley nodded, shooing Lindsey towards the kitchen to heat up some Mac and cheese. She would get you to eat something even if it killed her. 
She slowly made her way over to you, gently patting Emily’s shin when she was close enough. “Hey Emmy, your mama wants to see you in the kitchen please,” 
The blond little blinked up at her, big Emily suddenly very present in her eyes. She didn’t like how much pain you were in, but you both trusted Kelley. The two stared at each other for a moment, before Emily nodded once, seemingly satisfied that Kelley would help. 
Emily leaned up and kissed your cheek before toddling off towards the kitchen. Maybe mama would get her a cookie. 
Kelley took her spot, watching you carefully, as though you were a puzzle she was trying to solve. “How you holding up bug?”
You shrugged in response, tucking your legs tighter underneath you and crossing your arms. 
“Not too good then huh?” Kelley filled in, scooting a little bit closer to you, taking a breath of relief when you didn’t curl into an impossibly tighter ball. 
You nodded once. While big you understood why Tobin couldn’t be your mama, little you was devastated that she had chosen someone over you. That she didn’t love you anymore (big you knew this was just as hard for her). 
Kelley’s eyebrows furrowed. You usually hovered around 2 and a half or three when you were little, but this version of you was far smaller. Small enough for you to go nonverbal. The only person to see you this small was Tobin, and as far as Kelley knew the last time this had happened you were still in college. 
“Well, I don’t know about you, but Roary was telling me that his tummy was hurting. Does your tummy hurt?” She asked you softly, holding up your favorite stuffed triceratops and wiggling him in front of your face. 
You shrugged again. Yeah your tummy was a little grumbly, but you were sad and all you wanted was for mama to scoop you up, but she couldn’t. 
“I know you’re upset bug, but not eating isn’t going to make you or Roary feel better, ok? Aunt Lindsey made Mac and cheese and it’ll warm you up ok?” she tried again, nudging your cheek with Roary’s nose. You bit your lip in thought. You did love Mac and cheese, and you didn’t want Roary to turn into a grumpasaurus. 
“Otay,” you mumbled, reaching for the defender (who despite her short stature was still an inch taller than you). She smiled tightly at you, handing you your stuffed Dino and picking you up to head towards the kitchen. At least they were getting you to eat. 
*****
Christen sighed from her place on the couch next to Tobin, glaring at the cellphone that had gotten far more attention than she had tonight. All she wanted was a date night with her girlfriend, and Tobin had spent the whole thing glued to her phone, nervously biting her lip. 
“Alright, who have you been texting all night?” Christen asked, pulling away from Tobin and wrapping the blanket tighter around her. 
The midfielder turned forward blinked and sat back to look carefully at her girlfriend. “Lindsey,” Tobin said, biting her lip. 
Christen’s eyebrows furrowed. “What’s up with Linds?” 
Tobin sighed. “Y/n went to stay with her until preseason starts. Emily’s there too and she wanted to hang out with her girlfriend,” 
“So what, why has Lindsey been texting you?” Christen asked. She was usually good at following Tobin’s train of thought, but she was lost. 
Tobin sighed again, shaking her head. “Y/n is having a really hard time, and I know you think it’s just some weird kink or something, but little Y/n doesn’t understand what’s happening. She doesn’t know what she did wrong and Lindsey needs some advice on how to handle her,” 
Christen’s back straightened immediately at the mention of your name. She thought she had made her opinion clear. “How can you say that like Y/n is two people. Like she isn’t manipulating you into doing what she wants?” Christen said, throwing her hands up in exasperation. 
Tobin took a deep breath trying to figure out how to explain it. How to make her girlfriend understand that it was so much more than you pretending to be a kid for a little while. “Y/n isn’t two people, and she isn’t manipulating me. That’s evident considering she forbade Lindsey from calling me,” Tobin started calmly, picking at a stray thread on her pants. She opened and closed her mouth several times, trying to find the right words to explain it. “It’s not a sexual thing for her. It’s about trust. When y/n is little she doesn’t have to worry about everyday things, she can trust that I’ll take care of her. That no matter what happens, someone will be there to protect her. That no one will abandon her…” her voice cracked. 
That’s exactly what she had done, isn’t it? Abandoned her best friend?. 
Christen pulled her into a hug, letting her sob into her shoulder. It was hard to see Tobin this upset, even if she didn’t fully understand why. 
“My relationship with her isn’t like the one I have with you. She loves Emily,” The words were muffled by Christen’s shoulder, but the forward heard them loud and clear. 
Her eyebrows furrowed. She had done some research after Tobin had initially told her, but this was turning out to be way more complicated than the online forum suggested. If Emily was involved too, and you were dating her, then why did you need Tobin? 
“Why can’t Emily be her mama?” She asked softly, honestly trying to understand this mess. 
Tobin leaned back, wiping her eyes. 
“Cause Emily’s little too and that would be dangerous. Lindsey takes care of Em like I take care of Y/n,” 
Christen nodded as she took in the information. That made sense. If you couldn’t necessarily control being little, then it was possible you would both slip at the same time (or one could trigger the other). That did seem like a pretty bad idea for a long term solution. 
But if Lindsey was there, then what was the problem? 
“I just don’t understand how I fit into this whole thing,” Christen said after a few minutes, finally looking Tobin in the eyes, searching for the answer. 
“You don’t have to deal with her when she’s little if you don’t want to. I just didn’t want to hide it from you,” Tobin shrugged, running a hand through her hair (the weight on her chest lifting just a bit now that Christen actually seemed to be willing to talk about this). 
“If she’s here, I’m not just going to ignore her,” Christen scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. Tobin’s lips ticked up just a bit. She wasn’t sure if Christen realized she had basically said you were going to be around, but Tobin was pleased with the new development. Maybe Christen just needed to logic it out a little bit more to become more open to the idea, but she wasn’t going to force her into something she wasn’t comfortable with. 
“It’s still the Y/n you know, just a little bit more carefree. A little more silly and cuddly. You don’t have to be around her, but if you wanted to… she was gonna ask if you wanted to see what being a caretaker with me was like,” She said, leaning in and nudging under Christen’s chin with her nose. 
Christen frowned, pouting a little, the real reason she had been so against the idea initially finally rolling from her lips. “She wasn’t trying to take you away from me-“ 
Tobin was shaking her head before Christen even finished her sentence. “No, she was trying to include you,”
You had been open to the idea of being little around Christen (hesitant, but open especially if it meant including the woman your mama was head over heels for. 
The silence stretched between them for a few long seconds, broken only by Christen’s sigh. 
“I fucked up,” She mumbled, pinching the space between her eyes, completely missing Tobin’s blinding smile. 
“We fucked up, now let’s go fix it,” Tobin said, kissing her girlfriend’s cheeks and standing, extending her hand for the woman to take. They would make this right together. 
*****
Kelley would say that you were tolerating dinner. You were reluctantly opening your mouth for the airplanes of Mac and Cheese she was sending your way, glancing longingly at Roary (who was eating his carrots in his very own seat across from you). 
Lindsey had gotten up a few minutes ago to answer the door but had yet to return. That was why you were taking turns having Kelley feed you bites of dinner with Emmy. 
Kelley lifted the next bite up to your lips, but you pulled your head away. “No tank you,” 
Kelley sighed, leaning forward to make eye contact with you. “Baby, you’ve only had two bites. You need to eat a little more for me please,” 
You rapidly shook your head, tears welling up in your eyes. You didn’t want to eat the stupid Mac and cheese. You wanted your mama to love you again, but she was off loving Christen. 
“It otay, I eat Mac for you,” Emily said, patting your arm and placing a very sloppy kiss on your cheek. She didn’t like it when you were upset, and if she got more Mac and cheese out of it, then that was fine with her too. 
Kelley glared at the younger defender. You didn’t need any more encouragement to not eat, especially when you were this fussy. “I don’t think it works like that Em”
She looked back into your direction(ignoring your girlfriend’s pout), making her voice soft and sympathetic “Come on Y/n, 5 more bites please,” 
You whined loudly, shaking your head rapidly and kicking your feet a little in displeasure. The tears were now falling heavily down your very red face. “No want it!!”
“Alright bug,” Kelley murmured, pulling you into her lap, and letting you cry it out. You buried your face in her shoulder, heartbreaking sobs wracking through you. Kelley rubbed circles into your back, and carded her fingers through your hair, trying to soothe you. When that didn’t work, she carefully transferred you into a very familiar lap.
*****
You clung to Tobin as though your life depended on it, fisting her sweatshirt like you thought she would disappear at any second. You probably thought she would, Christen noted. 
It was truly a pitiful sight so see, and each little sob from your lips was like a knife in Christen’s chest. She hadn’t known what to expect when Lindsey said you were taking it hard, but it most certainly wasn’t this. It made her apology gift seem incredibly inadequate. 
“No babydoll, I’m never leaving you again. I promise,” Tobin said into your hair, rocking you to try and ease the wave of tears streaming down your cheeks. 
“But you wove Christen,” You said, though your voice was muffled by Tobin’s shoulder and your tears, Christen heard the words loud and clear. She shared a look with Tobin over your head, and she knew that she was the only one who could fix this mess. 
She knelt down next to you, carefully rubbing your back, encouraging you to look at her. You obliged, rubbing your bloodshot eyes as you pulled away from Tobin. 
“Tobin can love both of us darling, and I see that now. I’m sorry that I couldn’t see that before, but if you’re willing, I’d like to try helping your mama take care of you when you’re little,” She said softly. 
“No make me go bye bye?” You asked, sniffling. 
“No little one,” Christen reassured, bringing her thumb up to while away a stray tear. “No I brought a friend, but they don’t have a name yet. Do you think you can help me out?” She said, holding up the stuffed dragon they had picked up for you as an apology. 
You gently grabbed the purple stuffie, holding him very close to your nose, and examining him carefully. “Spike wants ta know if we go home?” You said after a few seconds, poking your tongue out the side of your mouth. Christen and Tobin laughed lightly at your expression. 
“Yeah, let’s go home,” 
329 notes · View notes
kookingtae · 4 years ago
Text
the equation of love (pt. 10)
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pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 | pt 4 | pt 5 | pt 6 | pt 7 | pt 8 | pt 9 | pt. 10
professor yoongi x uni student reader
→scenario: When you met Yoongi in a club, you thought it was fate that brought the two of you together. But after you walked into your college math class for the very first time, you weren’t so sure anymore.
→genre: smut | fluff | angst
→word count: 10.5k
→a/n: alternatively: fuck it, it’s been five years and this wip has been staring at me for three of them, so im just gonna post it. i have not read this over since 2018, so pls dont judge me too harshly hhsdg it’s unedited and probably a bit cringy, but then again what ch of teol isnt? this is NOT all that i have planned for the series, but i figured something is better than nothing, right? and perhaps the saying better later than never applies here, too. maybe one day i’ll finally get around to finishing it (by then im sure no one will even be around to remember what teol is lmao) but until then, enjoy what ive been sitting on! and as always, if you’re still here, thank you for your endless patience and support with this series <3
→another a/n: after this will probably be an epilogue!
→tw: mentions of blackmail, r*pe and sexual assault (we mostly just get closure on the whole professor lee & jun situation!!)
→warning: this chapter is not a happy ending, but it’s not necessarily a BAD one either, so for those who don’t like to finish on an unhappy note, it’s up to you on whether you’d like to read it or wait for the epilogue to be posted!
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Running water.
It was such a simple yet fascinating concept—atoms and molecules coming together to form the only substance on earth that has a natural state in all forms, while having the power to kill in three different ways. Solid, by hypothermia; liquid, by drowning; gas, by suffocation. This substance can take three different forms, yet it's most commonly a liquid, covering nearly 71% of the world with translucent bodies of water. Oceans, ponds, lakes—though the most enchanting of them all were rivers. They were always moving, crashing beyond rocks and bustling with the flow of the current and gravitational pull of the earth. Rivers were passionate, and strong, and no matter how hard one tried they couldn't break the whipping tide that was pushing against them. Nothing could cause the powerful force to falter.
But, like most things, even rivers must come to an end. The current stops flowing, and the waves stop breaking around the jagged rocks, and the powerful force that seemed it would never end dulls to a still, calm lull, as if the river was nothing more than a brief yet raging storm. All the passion, all the fight—over in a blink of an eye, left to dissipate into the mysteries of the vast ocean.
Staring down at the picture on the cell phone screen in front of me was like getting pulled by the current of a river; down, down, down I flowed until there was no river left around me and I was left stranded in the middle of the sea. Yoongi and I were once raging, and passionate, and ready to fight against anyone who tried to tear us down, but now the fight was over. We had been dragged too far, fading into a body of water that was not our own. This was bigger than us.
Yes, like the flow of a river, all things must come to an end.
"That's it," Yoongi gritted his teeth, and I felt the dip of the mattress beneath me as he rose to his feet in anger.
"Yoongi," I called his name in a warning tone, warily standing up from the bed and watching him move around the room. "What are you doing?"
"I'm over it," he said, hastily throwing the first articles of clothing he could grab from his drawers over his body. "I'm done dealing with all of this, Y/N! I'm going up to the school."
Despite the flare of determination that sparked in my heart at his words, his rage seeming to radiate off of him and onto me as well, I couldn't help the trepidation that I was also filled with; Yoongi didn't have a history of making rational decisions out of anger.
"Don't you think you should calm down first?" I offered, trying my best to match his pace around the room.
"No!" Yoongi suddenly skidded to a halt in front of me, his eyes wild and crazed. "I'm going to find her and I'm going to fucking kill her!"
I could only stand with a gaping mouth and watch as he stormed out of the room, leaving me with no choice but to pull on my old clothes and chase his stomping foot steps. He grabbed his keys before storming out of the apartment, down the stairs, and outside into the parking lot. I tried to ignore the blindingly bright sunlight as I squinted my eyes and continued after him.
"Follow me up to the school," Yoongi barked as he hopped into his car.
"Yoongi–" I started, but my consoling voice was cut off by the slam of his door. I frowned, scrambling to unlock my vehicle as his engine roared to life.
The drive to the university was a nerve-wracking one. I kept a watchful eye on Yoongi to make sure he wasn't speeding or swerving all over the road; they say you're not supposed to operate a vehicle while you're upset. Though it would seem my efforts were futile, because he did in fact speed and swerve, and all I could do was frown and try to keep up.
It wasn't that I wasn't angered by Professor Lee; I was furious, rage and disgust and frustration all stewing inside of me like a pot of water that was ready to boil over. But I just couldn't help but worry for Yoongi. I had always been the non-confrontational type, always hoping that with a little time things would get better if they were ignored long enough. But it would seem that my method was proven inefficient today, because as much as I had tried to ignore her antics, that wicked woman wouldn't stop at anything to make sure Yoongi and I were properly dragged through the mud and going down like a ship engulfed in flames. Yet as much as that angered me, I couldn't bare the thought of the turmoil it was causing Yoongi. I didn't know when I had started casting my own feelings aside and putting his above—it was a gradual thing rather than one, defining moment—but it was only another factor that proved how much I actually loved this man. And that very thought instilled a fear that shook me to the very bone.
We had a lot more to lose now than just his job and my education. We could be losing us. And that was more important now than it had ever been before.
Once we arrived at the university there were a lot of screeching brakes, messy parking and fumbling hands as I scrambled to catch up to his looming figure that seemed to stalk towards the building at an unnatural pace. The pounding of my heavy heartbeat was what drove me forward, anxiety rising with each quickened step that I took.
"Yoongi!" I yelled once I had lessened the distance between us, now dead center on the campus sidewalk. "Yoongi, wait!"
All of a sudden he whirled around, his abrupt halt causing me to crash straight into his chest. I let out a yelp in surprise, eyes wide and ready to interrogate him, before I felt the smooth curvature of his palms on either side of my face as he tilted my head up to his and slammed his mouth onto mine.
The world stopped spinning for a moment, everything around me fading into the motions of his plush skin, his soft lips exploding with flavor and spilling over my tastebuds, satisfying my thirst in a way that no water ever could. I didn't even question it for a second before I was melting into him, quite literally becoming putty in his hands as the rest of the world instantaneously escaped my mind.
It's funny the way that worked—the way he was able to completely erase everything that had once existed in the blink of an eye, just by his simple touch. Whether it was magic, or I was just that fucking whipped, I didn't know. But either way, I didn't possess the power to stop it even if I wanted to.
When Yoongi finally broke away, he was breathing heavily, his breath fanning across my face in cool puffs of air. "I don't care what anyone thinks anymore," he spoke onto my lips, his forehead pressing against mine with a firm force. "Let them see. The only thing I care about is you."
It was then that I was suddenly aware of our surroundings, the reality of our world crashing down around me as I glanced around at all the eyes watching us. It varied; there were those choosing to spare us a glance as they walked to and from their classes, those who stalled their current actions to lift their heads to us not once, not twice, but three times, and then there were those who stopped altogether, their widened eyes and slackened jaws dead giveaways that they knew exactly who Yoongi was: Professor Min, Algebra 101 instructor.
A stroke of his thumb across my cheek brought my attention back to him; I stared up into his eyes, the desperate look in them captivating me and making it impossible to look away. His chest was rising and falling beneath his shirt, his fingers were grappling at my face as he brushed my wisps of hair out of the way, silently begging me to understand, to agree with him.
And in that moment, I knew what I had to do.
My lungs were filled with a breath of newfound determination, dazed and driven by Yoongi's words and embrace. "I love you," I spoke with conviction, caressing the nape of his neck as if to give him more reassurance. "Let's go.”
With that I grabbed his hand, holding my head high for the rest of the campus to see as I started up Yoongi's stride towards the school's building. He was right beside me, weaving his fingers through mine and giving my hand an extra squeeze as if to say that he was here, that he was proud to let the world know that I was his and he was mine, and that he wasn't going anywhere.
We were going to take down Professor Lee.
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The seminar room was empty of students when we stormed in. Seats were placed throughout the floor, papers were scattered on the desks, and Professor Lee was at the front of the room, fiddling with the cords from the projector screen.
At the sound of the door opening, her head snapped up. "Well well well, look what we have here," she smirked when she saw us, making no plans to move as she saw me marching over to her. "You know, I really don't think–"
Slap!
The impact of my palm to her face cut off her words, skin on skin contact crackling through the room and echoing into a deafening silence.
Professor Lee gasped, immediately grasping where a red mark was now forming on her cheek before looking up at me with wild eyes. "You just slapped me!" She cried in disbelief.
"You're damn right I did," I gritted my teeth, taking a threatening step towards her and raising my palm. "Want me to do it again?"
It was then that I felt Yoongi's hand on my back, the feeling having an instant calming effect over my senses whether he wanted it to or not. I sighed before visibly relaxing and lowering my hand.
"You're barbaric!" Professor Lee was foaming at the mouth, still holding her face with a slack jaw. "Are you forgetting that I'm a professor? When Dr. Kim finds out about this, I swear he'll–"
"Tell him!" I roared as loud as my vocal chords would let me. "Tell whoever, tell the whole world, I don't fucking care! I'm done with your bullshit, you selfish psychotic witch!"
With that I gave her one final shove against her shoulders, and when both of her hands flew out to grab ahold her surroundings in an effort to keep from falling over, I planted another slap right across her face. The impact stung my hand, but I didn't care. Seeing Professor Lee stumble through the air was worth it.
"Baby," Yoongi spoke in a gentle yet warning tone next to me, and I had almost forgotten he was there until I felt his grip slightly tighten around my waist. It was a comforting hold, as if to say he completely trusted and supported whatever I chose to do in this situation, but still a protective hold nonetheless. He wanted to make sure I wasn't going to get myself hurt.
"You know, what is your problem, exactly?" I tilted my head at her as she struggled to get her bearings straight. "Is there an actual reason you're doing all of this, or are you just mentally insane?"
"It–it's not right!" Professor Lee stuttered with wide eyes, raising a shaky finger to point at me and Yoongi. "Your relationship, it's–"
"Oh cut the bullshit, Sara," Yoongi let out a sound of disgust from beside me. "We all know that's not why."
"I... I..." she stumbled for words, wide eyes glancing back and forth between the two of us. "Who do you guys think you are? You can't just storm in here and start attacking me–"
I took a menacing step forward, pure rage making up for what I lacked in intimidation. "Are you fucking kidding me?" I fumed, reaching out to grab her again.
"No, please!" She suddenly cowered before I could get to her, shielding her head away from me with her arms. "I—Yoongi, I'm in love with you!"
Her confession sent me reeling backwards in a downwards spiral, my body instantly going limp as I watched her with a dumbfounded expression. A vast silence echoed throughout the room that could be cut with a knife before she finally spoke again.
"Ever since you started working here, I knew you were the one. I just knew it." Her voice was sad, exhausted now, and a look of defeat washed over her features.
"What?" Yoongi gaped in disbelief. "Sara, that was two years ago!"
"I know!" She spat harshly. "You don't think I know that? For two years, I had to deal with this silly crush I had on you. I had to spend every day with you, watching it bloom into love overtime, and there was nothing I could do about it."
"You could've just told me!" Yoongi exclaimed as if that was the obvious answer.
Professor Lee snorted humorlessly. "Yeah, and be made a fool of? No thanks." She lowered her eyes to the ground.
"Sara, we're grown adults. You could've acted like one and fucking said something to me about it, made a move, anything but drag my career under the bus!" Yoongi's voice was strained now, his eyes wide as if silently begging her to understand him while he was equally trying to understand her.
"I was going to!" She lashed out again while whipping her head up towards him. "I was working up the courage to ask you out on a date, and then I see that fucking slut on your lap and I–"
"Don't you dare call Y/N that," Yoongi suddenly growled, pushing past me and stepping towards her intimidatingly. "One more thing out of your mouth about her and I swear to god I will kill you right here, right now."
My breath hitched in my throat at his threat and I couldn't help but weave my arm around his to grab his hand, intertwining our fingers and squeezing tightly. He gripped mine back even tighter, as if he was desperately trying to latch onto whatever calming effect I seemed to have over him.
Professor Lee swallowed, choosing to stay silent and watch him carefully as jagged breaths rose and fell from her chest. "The point is," she continued on, "I saw you with someone else—someone who wasn't me. And that completely tore my heart to shreds."
"So the only solution is to ruin our lives," I chimed in sarcastically.
"I may not have gone about it the best way," she quickly gritted her teeth and shot me a glare before turning her attention back to Yoongi, "but I had to act on instinct. I still wanted to be with you, so I figured that maybe if I split the two of you up, you would have no one else to turn to but me."
Yoongi just stared at her, his face scrunched up in a mix of confusion and disgust. "Do you know how sick and twisted that is?" He asked.
"All I ever wanted was to be with you, Yoongi," she pleaded, her tone vulnerable now as she took a tentative step towards him and started to raise her hand up to caress his cheek. "I still do. It's not too late; we can leave now, just you and me and forget this whole thing–"
"Don't fucking touch me," he knocked her hand away with his forearm just before it could reach his face. "If you think I'm going anywhere with you, you're even crazier than I thought." He then stepped back to wrap his arm around my waist and pull me securely into his side. "I'm in love with Y/N, and I don't give a shit what rumors you or anyone else wants to spread about it. You're fucking pathetic."
At that moment there was the sound of a door bursting open, causing the three of us to turn our attention to the entrance of the room. There, standing in the doorway, was Dr. Kim.
The sight of him immediately deflated the elation I was feeling from Yoongi's words, instantly replacing them with a sense of anxiety and fear that lodged its way into my throat until I was sure I would die from suffocation. This was it; according to the text from Professor Lee, he had already seen the picture of me and Yoongi kissing. This was the moment that would decide our future forever.
I just hoped we had enough evidence against Professor Lee for him to take our side.
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"So let me get this straight." Dr. Kim folded his hands on the dark oak wood of his office desk. "Professor Min and Y/N had relations before Y/N became a student here, while Yoongi was unaware of her age?"
"Yes sir," Yoongi nodded his head in assurance.
"And then you continued your relationship, even after finding out that she was your student."
"He didn't at first," I interjected in hopes of getting some of the heat off of Yoongi. "He tried to call it off, but I kept pushing it. The reason we got back together during school was my fault, not his."
Yoongi's eyes met mine from the chair next to me, his gaze seeming to hold the words that silently spoke that's not true, and I instantly knew what he was thinking. In actuality, he had been the one to give me after-school tutoring on that Saturday during the homecoming football game, not I. He had been the one to kiss me first that day. But there was no way in hell I would ever tell that to the dean.
"I don't care whose fault it is; all that matters is that it happened," Dr. Kim frowned. "And it's still happening if I'm not mistaken, correct?"
"I... um," my eyes flickered to Yoongi, every fiber of my being starting to fill with panic. Shit, we should've discussed this beforehand. I wasn't going to willingly rat Yoongi out, no matter how many times he's said he didn't care anymore if people knew about us.
Suddenly I felt the warm, soft sensation of skin wrapping around the curvature of my hand that was resting atop the wooden armrest. "Yes, it's still happening," Yoongi spoke, and then his fingers were intertwining with mine.
I practically choked on my own spit at his words; did this boy have a death wish? A cough came sputtering out of my lungs, the sound causing everyone in the room to look at me until I'd settled down. Even Professor Lee leaned forward from her seat on the other side of Yoongi, bewilderment written all over her expression as she gave me a look of disgust.
"Well there's your proof right there." She threw her hands up in defeat before gesturing to the two of us. "What more do you need? Expel them, Dr. Kim."
"B–but that's not it!" I suddenly exclaimed and lurched forward, feeling the heat of everyone's stare on our embraced hands, which in turn only made me grip him even harder for support. "Dr. Kim, you have to believe me when I tell you that Professor Lee has worked hard to make my life a living hell ever since I got to this school. She had a vendetta against me; she's in love with Yoongi, and so she–"
"That's not true!" Professor Lee screeched.
"She worked to turn people against us rather than coming to you because she wanted to blackmail Yoongi into being with her," I ignored her interjection and continued. "She even made a seminar about it—the mandatory seminar that everyone attended today!"
The dean turned his attention towards her. "The seminar about the importance of practicing safe sex?" He questioned in bewilderment.
My eyes practically bulged out of my head at his words; that's what she was telling everyone it was about?
"It was!" She scrambled in defense. "I mean I... I may have brought up Yoongi and Y/N as an example, but that's only because they fit the part! Y/N had a pregnancy scare not too long ago, and I didn't want the same thing to happen to our students!"
I felt the color draining from my face, blanching it a stone cold white and decimating any feeling I had left in my body.
How the fuck did she know about the pregnancy?
My head instantly whipped towards Yoongi to see if he had any logical explanation for this, and his face was as poised and stoic as ever in front of his two colleagues—but I could see through it. I knew him well enough to catch onto the slightest falter in his blinking, the increase in heat that collected between our palms, the small twitch of his mouth that would've gone unnoticed by anyone else who observed him. I knew there was no way he could've told Professor Lee about the pregnancy, because he was just as blindsided as I was.
Dr. Kim simply raised his eyebrows in interest before turning back to Yoongi and me.
"Dr. Kim," Yoongi spoke, his voice dripping with amusement, "I mean no disrespect, but do you honestly think that if Y/N had a pregnancy scare, we would tell Sara about it? Come on; not after all she did to us."
"They—they didn't tell me!" Professor Lee huffed out a desperate breath. "I overheard them while I was–"
"While you were what?" I interrupted with a raise of my eyebrow. "While you were spying on us to find any blackmail you could use on Yoongi?"
"N–no!" She stuttered, though at this point it was obvious that she was making up lies on the spot. "While I was walking past the classroom!"
"Why would we be talking about that with the door open?!"
"Enough!" Dr. Kim barked, his deep voice rumbling throughout the small office. We all grew silent as we turned our attention to him. "There will be no arguing of he said/she said in my office," he scolded, then turned his attention to Yoongi before speaking. "I understand that there was someone you wanted me to see?"
Yoongi, who had remained calm during all of this, simply nodded his head before releasing my hand. "Yes, sir," he said as he stood up and walked towards the door.
My eyebrows were knitted in confusion as I watched it all transpire: the words exchanged between the two men, Yoongi rising out of his seat, the sight of my biology professor being revealed behind the closed door. The whole thing came as a surprise to me, and my emotions seemed to be having a war between the shock and relief that I felt raging like a storm in the pit of my stomach.
Why didn't Yoongi tell me about Professor Park being involved in this discussion? When did he have time to ask her to come? Did it even matter at this point?
"Professor Park," Dr. Kim widened his eyes, his frame physically reclining back in his seat. "I'm surprised to see you here."
"As am I to be here," she smiled though her voice was venomous, eyes flashing to a very alarmed Professor Lee.
"Mia?!" The woman barked in disbelief at her friend's entrance. "What are you doing here?"
"Something I should've done a long time ago," Professor Park replied, and with that she turned towards the dean and opened her mouth to speak.
"I'm here to testify on the behalf of Min Yoongi and Y/N."
Earth-shattering elation rippled through me from the inside out, starting at the base of my toes and spiraling to the top of my head and the tips of my fingers, causing them to tingle and buzz with a newfound sense of hope. We might actually have a chance!
"What?!" Professor Lee's voice ripped through the air in a deafening screech. "This isn't a court case! You don't get to play witness!"
"Actually, if Professor Park has witnessed anything, I would definitely like to know," Dr. Kim chimed in, raising an eyebrow towards my biology professor.
Professor Park nodded her head towards him in appreciation before speaking. "A few months ago Sara approached me in my classroom to tell me about the nasty rumors that were surrounding her and a student. She singled the student out, saying to purposely damage their grades because they were treating her unfairly and disrespecting her rules and authority as a professor; she even went so far as to say that they were sending her death threats"
"What?!" The word ripped from my throat faster than I could blink as I stared jaw-dropped at the women in the room.
"That's not true!" Professor Lee instantly protested as expected. "Sir, I can assure you that I never–"
"I have the text messages if you want," Professor Park offered in a tone so nonchalant one would've thought she was conversing about the weather.
Dr. Kim raised an eyebrow. "Text messages? I thought you said she came by your class?"
"She did, sir." Mia interlaced her fingers in front of her and bowed her head politely. "We spoke about it on multiple occasions. I asked why she wouldn't just go to you, or even the authorities if the student was making death threats, but Sara was adamant. She didn't want any scandals revolving around her so that she could maintain the level of professionalism that she had developed here."
I heard a snort coming from next to me, and it was with a swollen heart of pride that I realized the sound came from Yoongi trying to hold in a laugh.
Professionalism? Her? I had never heard anything so far fetched in my life.
Sara simply glared as Mia ignored him and continued. "She assured me that the best way to deal with this pesky student was to slowly start to fail them, and I'll admit, I was angry for her. Sara was my friend, and I respected her enough to believe what she was telling me and follow her requests." She turned her head to where I sat on the other side of Yoongi. "That student was you, Y/N. And I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for the way I handled things. You were treated unfairly and poorly due to false information."
"It wasn't false!" Professor Lee jumped in to defend herself, but everyone was pretty much ignoring her. Even the dean could tell she was playing the part of the boy who cried wolf at this point.
"I'd like to see those text messages, if you don't mind." Dr. Kim reached his hand out expectantly.
There was a brief moment of silence while Professor Park nodded and tapped away on her phone before handing it to him. His cold and calculated eyes scanned the screen while saying nothing, all three of us waiting with bated breath for him to come to a decision in his mind.
There was no where left for her to run. With these text messages, all the constant denying that Professor Lee has done will be proven false and she will be exposed for all the hell she's put me through this semester. My heart was practically bursting at the thought.
"Well I would've appreciated it if you ladies had come to me with this information instead of handling it amongst yourselves, true or not," Dr. Kim finally sighed before giving Sara his full attention. "Ms. Lee, you have three people accusing you. Even if you didn't do it, there's obviously something that's turning them against you. And here at this university we strive to hold cooperation and communication above all else. If you don't get along with the fellow staff here, then why should I believe that they're the problem and not you?"
"Um, because Min Yoongi is fucking his student?!" Professor Lee was fuming now, her upper body lurching forward in her seat and her hands gripping the arm rests for dear life. "He literally just admitted to it!"
"Language, Ms. Lee," Dr. Kim scolded calmly. "I still like to maintain a professional attitude here in my office."
"I apologize sir, but that's beside the point." She was sitting back in her seat now, though her tone was no less frantic. "Min Yoongi is in a relationship with his student, and staff cooperation or not, I don't really think that's in the teacher handbook." She raised a snarky eyebrow at us as if believing that she had finally won.
I knitted my eyebrows, my palms feeling slick with a nervous sweat against Yoongi's as I realized the bigger problem here. It wasn't whatever lies and schemes Professor Lee had cooked up with my biology teacher; it wasn't even Professor Lee herself. It was the fact that Yoongi and I were in a relationship, and that was going to have enough consequences alone to shake me to my very core with fear.
"She's right," Dr. Kim uttered the words that I was silently hoping he wouldn't say, my grip tightening on Yoongi as I anticipated whatever outcome he's decided. Our fate was in his hands.
"Of course I am." Professor Lee crossed her arms and sat back in her seat with a smug grin.
"I'm afraid I have no choice." He was shaking his head, frowning at us apologetically though the sentiment didn't reach his eyes. "Mr. Min, I am sorry to inform you that you will have to be forced to resign from our university."
The color instantly drained from my face, and with it pulling all five senses that I have into the depths of the earth until I couldn't see, couldn't hear, couldn't speak—I could barely even breathe. There was a lump that was forming in my throat and settling deep within my gut, all of this feeling fake, too fake to be real.
Yoongi was fired, and it was all because of me.
"I understand, sir."
It was Yoongi's words that were pulling me from my fog of disbelief and devastation, my eyes blinking in an effort to snap back to reality as I looked from him to the dean. "No. No, there has to be something we can do, please!" I begged, my voice starting to get frantic the more the severity of the situation hit me. "I–I'll drop out! You don't have to worry about me ever coming near here again, just please, please don't fire him!"
"Y/N..." Yoongi's voice was quiet and full of resignation, defeat, but I wasn't giving up.
"Yoongi is an amazing professor who has worked here for, what, two years? He's extraordinary at what he does and students love him. It's not easy to find a professor like that everyday." I was staring into the eyes of the dean now, trying to move him with my words. "You shouldn't throw away someone as great as him just because of some stupid 18 year old's mistake! Please, Dr Kim." I leaned forward in my seat, the room silent as I spoke. "He wouldn't be in this situation if it weren't for me. Please, let me suffer the consequences, not him."
I continued to stare in Dr. Kim's eyes, silently channeling my emotions through the pleading expression in my eyes, and it wasn't until I felt a comforting hand on my back that I was instantly drawn away into a more calm state in my chair. I gazed over at the owner of the hand, and he flashed back that smile I loved except it was sad, and it didn't reach his eyes, and I could tell there was so much he wanted to say to me right now if we weren't in the confinement of his boss' office.
"I understand your efforts, Y/N, but there's nothing I can do." Dr. Kim shook his head, and it was as if the world around me was shattering into blades of glass, scraping at my skin and leaving bloody wounds that I knew would never heal. "Mr. Min was involved in this relationship as well, and no matter whose fault it is, the professor needs to be held accountable. There is a level of professionalism and maturity that he must possess in order to work here; he's your superior, a respectable authority figure, and so he should've known better."
It was all I could do to keep from crying as I lowered my eyes and shook my head, every inch of my heart breaking for Yoongi until all that was left were tiny fragments to scatter in the wind. I couldn't believe I'd done this to him. The very thing he'd been worried about from the start—I had ruined his career.
"It is our goal as a university to see our students succeed," he continued, though I could barely hear a thing. "As for you, Y/N, I see no reason as to why you shouldn't keep attending this university."
I blinked a few times, confused. "You want me to... what?"
"You will have a suspension on your student records, mind you, and one more of those will lead to expulsion," he explained. "Though that doesn't mean that you can't keep going to school here. You will have to meet with an advisor every two weeks, though, who will be keeping a close watch on your behavior."
I could barely even believe my ears; had my hearing been completely lost due to the shock of the situation? "That's totally a double standard!" I gestured to Yoongi in disbelief.
"Y/N, it's okay..." Yoongi tried to calm me down.
"No, it's not okay!" I roared, eyes wide and brows furrowed in disbelief as I glanced at him before turning back to the dean. "Where do you think you can get off by treating people like this? This is his career—his life!"
"That will be enough from you, Ms. Y/N," Dr. Kim bellowed in a stern voice as he frowned. "I'm doing you a favor here by letting you continue your education. Speak out against me one more time and I will be revoking that offer."
His words were deafening throughout the office; it was suddenly understandable why he was so feared by those who worked under him. Yoongi started to run his hand along my spine in a soothing manner, and though it helped relax my fiery nerves and clear my foggy mind, I was still just as upset—if not more, now that the information was beginning to settle in.
"So that's it then?" Professor Lee spoke for the first time in a while, her lips pressed into a firm line, obviously disappointed by the turn of events though she didn't dare to speak out against Dr. Kim as he had warned. "Yoongi gets fired and Y/N gets a free ride?"
"Not so fast, Ms. Lee." The dean turned to her. "What you did was beyond unprofessional. You violated several school policies as well as bullied a student! Do you think that type of behavior is acceptable as a professor?"
Professor Lee opened her mouth as if to protest before slowly shutting it again, realizing that she had nothing left that she hadn't already denied. It was obvious that the evidence given to him by Professor Park, who stood silent in the corner of the room, was incriminating enough to sway his decision.
"I'm sorry to have to inform you that you will be fired as well."
"What?!" Her shrill voice screeched through the air, tearing whatever I had left of my eardrums and rendering me deaf here in this office. "What I did was no where near as bad as Yoongi and Y/N!"
"If anything, it was worse." Dr. Kim folded his hands over his desk. "Let's not forget that you managed to involve the entire student body in a false seminar that maliciously exposed one of our students and professors," he raised an eyebrow at her, "and that was just today."
"Yeah, not to mention all the other shit you did behind my back to make my life a living hell," I couldn't help from interjecting in a heated tone, though I backed off upon seeing the dean's stern gaze.
He redirected his attention back to Sara. "Here at this university, we strive to have a professional relationship, safe environment, and healthy lifestyle for our students. Neither of you achieved those three goals, so both of you will have to be let go."
Yoongi's expression simply remained placid and free of any emotion while Professor Lee's reaction was practically visceral, though neither spoke a word as heavy silence fell over the small office.
"Am I... am I still needed, sir?" It was Professor Park whose voice broke through the tension, everyone having forgotten she was there in the midst of the emotion-filled chaos. "Because if not, then I'm going to go."
"No, I'm just about finished here." Dr. Kim let out a sigh, as if what just transpired had been hard on him out of all people in the room. My blood boiled just looking at him, though I know I had to learn when to speak out and when to bite my tongue as Yoongi had taught me.
"Dr. Kim, is there any way you can reconsi–"
"That will be enough from you, Ms. Lee," his booming voice interrupted the frantic professor. "I've said all that I need to say on the matter. I'm not changing my mind."
"Dr. Kim?" I spoke up just as Professor Lee and Professor Park were getting ready to walk out the door. "I–I have something else to tell you. Un-related to this," I threw in when I saw him throw a glance in Lee's direction.
The man sighed before waving them out, leaving his office empty of visitors other than me and Yoongi in the chairs. I wasn't going to let that boy go anywhere.
"Y/N, I'm sorry that the outcome isn't exactly what you wanted but I'm afraid there's nothing I can–"
"Choi Junwoo tried to rape me," I blurted out.
There was a moment's pause as the dean was stunned silent with wide eyes, and out of my peripheral vision I could see Yoongi tense up and inhale sharply next to me.
"W–what–"
"Choi Junwoo," I spoke slowly for him so that he'd understand, "a student here at this university, tried to rape me at a frat party."
I couldn't leave the office without saying it. I couldn't leave the office without telling him. This wasn't just about me or the turmoil or trauma he caused; this was for every other girl in the future who might be a victim of Jun. Though in my heart I truthfully believed he was a good person, and that he really was just intoxicated beyond belief that night, it was still no excuse. If he had rape-tendencies while he was drunk and I didn't speak out about it, then I would be no better when it came to helping other sexual assault victims.
"Are you sure–"
"I found them at the party while he was mid-act," Yoongi jumped in, probably figuring he was already fired so there was nothing left for him to lose when it came to revealing details about our relationship outside of school. "It was... disgusting. I got her out of there immediately, but not before punching that bastard in the face."
"Metaphorically, of course!" I couldn't help but chime in, not wanting an assault charge to be on his record as well.
Thankfully Dr. Kim simply brushed off that minuet detail in favor for the more important issue at hand. "Y/N, what you're telling me will ruin this student's future. Are you absolutely sure you want to file this?"
Despite the anger that swelled up inside of me from him questioning my accusation, I still couldn't help the little trickle of doubt that crept in as I considered his words. At one point, Jun had been a friend... maybe even a potential lover had Yoongi not been in the picture. Dr. Kim was right, this information could potentially ruin his reputation, his education, his record... was I ready to carry the weight of knowledge that I've ruined someone's life forever?
"What are you talking about? Of course!" Yoongi spat an answer before I even had a chance to finish my thoughts. "She told you what happened, didn't she? Why would she speak out about something like this if she was making it up?"
"Maybe a personal vendetta?" The dean shrugged his shoulders. "People will do crazy things for revenge."
Now that got me heated. "The only one who wanted revenge here was Junwoo!" I stood up from my seat to yell. "He liked me and was mad that I turned him down. As if I owed my feelings to him or something! And when I told him no, he forced himself on me?! Is that really the type of message you want to send at this college? You know, since you're so high and mighty on "cooperation"," I did air quotes of sarcasm around my last words, my ears practically steaming with boiling rage.
"We will come out about this story, by the way," Yoongi added in, his voice full of venom. "And how will that look if you tried to keep us silent?"
"You can forget about me attending this university," I hissed.
"Alright, alright, settle down, the both of you," Dr. Kim lowered his hands in a calming manner. "I was not suggesting I buy your silence or anything of that nature. I was simply making sure you wanted to go through with this."
"Yes," Yoongi and I both answered in unison.
The dean nodded his head before clasping his hands together. "Alright."
The rest of the time in the office with spent filling on paperwork on a claim against Junwoo. I'd been given the option to be kept in the loop or even present when everything went down, though I politely declined. I wanted nothing more to do with that boy.
Though it would seem Professor Lee didn't share the same sentiment when it came to me, because as soon as soon as the two of us walked hand in hand into the hallway and Dr. Kim's door was securely shut, she sprung into action.
"You bitch!" She shrieked, not wasting another second as she leaped through the air and onto my body like a crouched tiger that was waiting for the right moment to attack. I felt the pressure of her weight against my chest and the sting of her nails scraping against my cheek, and before I knew it I was stumbling down, down onto the ground with another vicious blow to my jaw that was accompanied by her fist.
It all happened within a matter of seconds, but it wasn't long until I heard Yoongi yell Sara! and then her weight vanished just as quickly as it had appeared.
All I could do was stare with wide eyes as Yoongi slammed her shoulders back against the wall, though it was the look in his eyes that caught my attention. I had seen that expression before.
He was about to throw a punch.
"Yoongi, stop!" I cried, summoning all the strength I possessed to push myself to my feet and stumble over to the pair.
Yoongi whipped his head towards me with exasperated, almost wild eyes and his brows knitted in confusion and disbelief. "Y/N, she attacked you!"
"She isn't worth it," I spoke firmly in an attempt to get through to him. "Yoongi, just let it go. She isn't worth the trouble anymore."
It was when I placed a soothing hand against his back that Yoongi finally sighed, his stance visibly relaxing and his hands dropping from Professor Lee's shoulders. "She's right," he spit in a low, venomous tone as he turned back to her and grit his teeth. "Thanks to Dr. Kim, you already got what you deserve."
"Yoongi," there were sudden sobs that were tearing through the hallway, and it took me a moment to realize that Professor Lee was now... crying.
"Yoongi," she continued as she clung onto his shoulders. "Yoongi, I loved you!"
Somewhere deep inside of me, past all the burning hatred for what this woman has done to my life out of pure jealousy, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of sympathy for her. This was once me, heartbroken over the effects of unrequited love. Yoongi was a very sought-after man, I'd come to realize, and it wasn't about my feelings or Professor Lee's or anyone else's. It was about his.
"Sara," Yoongi sighed, and there was almost a wince in his tone from how hard he was trying to make her understand. "It's over."
"W–what?" The woman was scrambling now. "It doesn't have to be! We can go back to the way things were–"
"There never was a ‘we’!" He ripped her hands from his shoulders. "We were friends, and then you sabotaged my career and Y/N's education. You never once spoke out about your feelings, came forward, handled things like adults," he stressed the last line. "You never once did any of those things! Instead you belittled another woman and cost yourself your job all for a man—someone who until now, was your friend." Yoongi sighed again and shook his head. "I hope you get the help you need, Sara. I'm sure there is someone out there who will love you unconditionally... but that person is not me."
And with that, he put a gentle hand on my back and we walked away.
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“Oh my god.”
Those were the first words out of my mouth the second we exited the building, my hands resting on my head in disbelief as I turned to Yoongi. “Holy shit, Yoongi–“
“Shhh,” he instantly consoled me, his arms engulfing me in a comforting hug and my face tucking underneath his chin as he held me close. “We did it, Y/N. It’s all over.”
I stayed in his embrace for a few moments as his words sunk in. It was all over. No more secrets, no more Professor Lee—no more anything.
“B–but your job...” I pulled away to look up at him with a shaky tone, my brows furrowed in concern. “Dr. Kim fired you, he–“
“I resigned, Y/N. There’s a difference.”
“Is there?” I couldn’t help but look up at him with a hopeless expression.
Yoongi simply nodded his head, the picture of nonchalance as if his career hadn’t just changed forever. “Yes. If I had gotten fired, it would look terrible on my resumé should I apply for another teaching position. However, given the circumstances of our arrangement...” he paused, no doubt thinking of Professor Lee, “I suppose he decided to take it easy on us all.”
My shoulders deflated in relief. “Well thank god for that...” I sighed, not even wanting to think of what could’ve happened if Dr. Kim had given us the harshest punishment. In an ironic, twisted way, I suppose I have Professor Lee to thank for that. If she wouldn’t have made my life a living hell, it would’ve been that much worse if Dr. Kim ever found out on his own.
“But none of that even matters to me right now,” Yoongi suddenly snapped, and then in the time it took me to raise an questioning eyebrow he had already grabbed both sides of my face and rammed his lips into mine, the same as he did before we went inside to confront Professor Lee.
Only this time, the kiss was different. It didn’t hold promises and potential; it held freedom. It held the success of finally getting through everything by the skin of our teeth, the relief and the pride and the pure love that we have for each other after overcoming everything that we’ve been through together. I kissed him and I didn’t care who saw—because he wasn’t my professor anymore. There were no invisible chains that bounded us apart. It was just me and him sticking together against all odds. Never in my life did I think I would ever be a part of a relationship so committed, so passionate, so determined. He and I would never stop fighting for each other.
“I love you, Min Yoongi,” I murmured against his mouth with a grin on my features that was hard to disguise—especially when I felt the corners of his lips pull up into that gummy smile that I adored with all of my heart.
“God, I love you too, Y/N,” he replied back with a content sigh, and then he continued to kiss me on the busy campus sidewalk until we were both breathless and blue in the face.
Because we now had nothing to lose.
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Despite finally being released from the clutches that school had on us, the days following the meeting with Dr. Kim were not easy.
Other than having to put on a fake smile and continue attending a university where practically everyone knew about my relationship with now-former Professor Min (my mother would never let me drop out—not that I could ever tell her the reason I'd want to, anyways), there were the stresses that Yoongi was dealing with of now being unemployed. And what with all but abandoning my dorm room to instead spend my nights with him at his apartment, it was impossible to not feel the weight of his problems on my shoulders as well. No matter how many times Yoongi tried to put up a façade and reassure me that he was okay, I couldn't help but feel like this was my fault.
"If I just never would've made you dance with me at that club..." I'd say at times, unable to keep from tracing back each and every one of our interactions and blaming myself.
"Cut that out," Yoongi would snap.
"What? It's true!"
"You know I don't like it when you talk like that!" He'd turn to me with a stern tone. "I don't regret anything that happened between us, okay? Not one single bit." There was a heavy silence as his words would hang in the air. "If you wouldn't have asked me to dance, then who knows if I ever would've worked up the courage to kiss you? And I wouldn't be here, sharing this bed with the love of my life."
"Aw, Yoongi..."
And the two of us would make love, again and again until we'd have a similar argument some time later and repeat the whole process all over again. I'd feel guilty, Yoongi would remind me of exactly how much he doesn't regret meeting me, and we'd get lost in each other's embrace.
That is, until a simple Sunday morning suddenly changed everything.
"I got it."
I casually peered over at the sound of him from my spot in the living room, sitting criss crossed on the couch in my pajamas with a laptop in my lap. "What?"
"The job." Yoongi's voice was low, serious as he stared at the paper in his hands that had previously been so carelessly disregarded on the kitchen island along with the Sunday paper. "At the university in Seoul."
"Wait." He had all of my attention now as I sat the laptop on the coffee table and rose to my feet. "Like the Seoul National University university?"
"Yeah," he let out a single chuckle of disbelief before he pressed the paper against the counter and turned to me. "I got the job."
"Oh my god, Yoongi!" I exclaimed with my own chuckle of disbelief before running forward and wrapping my arms around his neck. His arms immediately engulfed my waist and lifted me off the ground as we spun around in place, my lips instantly finding his in a searing kiss that was full of passion and excitement to match our current mood. "That's amazing!"
"I know," he replied as he placed me down. A tentative smile was frozen on his lips as he stared off into the distance before letting out another sound of disbelief, his head shaking before his palm slid down his face. "I can't believe it!"
"I'm so proud of you!" I mirrored the grin of pure elation on his features, my chest swelling with joy and relief and most of all, pride.
I was so, so proud of Yoongi. I knew how much his job meant to him, and the feeling of guilt that weighed down on me from knowing that I was the one who inadvertently took that away from him, that I was the one who inadvertently caused all this stress of job hunting was instantly lifted off my shoulders. I knew how much he wanted this. I knew how hard he had worked to get this job at such a prestigious school, and god damn it, I knew how much he deserved it. If Yoongi was anything, apart from being an amazing person and a wonderful lover, he was great at his job. He was a natural born teacher.
Though no matter how many times I've willingly showered him with endless compliments about his work, he'd blush sheepishly and simply swat away all of my words with a simple kiss, or an "if you don't shut up your food is going to get cold. We're unemployed now; we need all the nutrition we can get. Haven't you ever heard of the Great Depression?"
So instead, I just chose to beam at him while he basked in the euphoria of the moment that this job acceptance brought on. After all, I knew he was well aware of how proud of him I was and how supportive I'd always be when it came to anything he wanted to accomplish.
Though the bliss was short lived.
I watched as Yoongi's expression slowly fell, the smile on his face slipping into a deep frown and his eyes turning to stone. "No."
"What?" I furrowed my brows, concern filling me and etching onto my features as I cupped his cheek in my hand, trying to figure out why his mood had changed so suddenly. "What's wrong?"
"I'm not taking it." His tone was cold, definitive, as if the subject wasn't even up for debate as he grabbed the letter.
"Wait wait wait," I hurried to stop him from tearing it in half. "What are you talking about? Why not?"
He turned to look at me with cold, incredulous eyes, as if he couldn't believe I was even asking a question so stupid. "The university is in Seoul, Y/N."
"Okay...?" I shook my head in confusion, still not understanding what the issue was. "And?"
"I'd have to move." He was taking the paper back out of my hands and ripping it right down the middle before I got the chance to stop him.
I suddenly deflated, the severity of his words dropping in my stomach and wrapping around the anchor of my heart, sending it down, down, down through the floor of his apartment and hurdling towards the center of the earth.
"...What?"
"I'd have to move away from you."
And there is was, the bomb detonating an explosion and demolishing whatever was left of my heart.
"No... t–there has to be another way, there has to–"
"Seoul is hours away from here, Y/N," Yoongi barked out, his tone angry and harsh as it always was when he was upset. "It's on the other side of the country; there's no way I'd be able to commute without living there."
"Okay, so why did you apply then?" I couldn't help but snap back defensively. "You knew the distance to Seoul prior to applying for the job. Why even bother if you're just going to get pissed about not taking it?!"
"Because I didn't think I'd get accepted!" His voice was loud, almost yelling now. "It's the most sought after, prestigious school in the fucking country and I didn't think some young idiot who got fired from his last job would be able to get in!"
It was silent as his words settled over the atmosphere, clinging to the air that filled the room around us and encasing my lungs until it was impossible to breathe.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" I finally hissed. "You're a great teacher, and you know it. If anyone's a young idiot here, it's me!"
Yoongi scoffed with a shake of his head. "I'm the one who kissed you again during that tutoring session after telling you to stay away. I'm the one who fucked you against that desk." His tone was low now, and his eyes seemed to grow harder in realization with each step that he took towards me. "I'm the one who asked to take you out on that fucking date and I'm the one who pulled you onto my lap when Sara caught us in my classroom! God damn it, I'm the one who tracked you down at a fucking frat party and punched one of my students!"
His voice slowly raised until he was yelling again, and if it weren’t for the fact that he was now standing chest to chest and cornering me up against the countertop of the island, I would've winced at the loud volume so close to my ears.
"Stop blaming yourself, Y/N, when I'm the one who was the authority figure. I'm the one who should've had my shit together, but I just couldn't around you!"
I felt myself soften at that. As angry and intimidating as he seemed right now, surely frightening whoever would come into contact with him when he was like this, I knew that it was all a front. Yoongi wasn't the best at dealing with emotional situations—he'd all but bite my head off any time I even tried to mention his father—and sometimes lashed out in anger when he was upset or hurting inside. I knew how badly he wanted this job; I could see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice when he'd first submitted the application. And now, when the career position of his dreams was finally right under his nose, he couldn't have it. Because I was holding him back.
"You have to take it." My voice was solemn and steady as I stared him in the eyes.
He instantly frowned. "What? No, I–"
"Yoongi."
He fell silent, all signs of anger and malice wiped from his features once he saw just how serious I was being. A soft, bittersweet smile that had nothing to do with happiness slowly tugged at my lips as my eyes gleamed with pain. My heart was breaking with every word I was speaking, but I knew it was something I needed to do.
"You have to take the job."
The silence that ensued my words only further proved my point, simultaneously stabbing a knife into my chest with each passing second. He knew I was right. He knew it. He just didn't want to hear it.
"You don't..." He sounded smaller, more pitiful and confused as he tried to make sense of what I was saying. "You don't want me to stay?"
The hurt, the sadness, the utter hopelessness in his voice absolutely crushed me. I couldn't help but fall into his embrace, wrapping my arms around his chest and squeezing tightly as if I could somehow hold the pieces of him together that I knew were breaking. The severity of what was happening, of what I was doing started to settle within me the moment I heard his voice break.
"I do, baby," I replied, the sound muffled by the skin of his neck that my face was buried in as a sob threatened to claw its way out of my throat and swallow me whole. "God, you know I do. But you can't."
"Y–you can come with me." He was shaking his head now, his hands gripping at the shirt on my back with closed fists while he desperately tried to hold onto me, as if I would disappear beneath him at any moment. "We can move together to Seoul and you can–"
"You know I can't, Yoongi." It was my turn to shake my head, and with it came a heavy tear that fell down my cheek. "I have to go to school. I have a family who's helping pay for my tuition, and my mom— you know it's not all up to me."
I heard him sniffle as he pulled away, and even though I felt no evidence of tears from him against my skin or my shirt, his eyes were bright red when he stared back at me.
"I'm not leaving you, Y/N."
The sheer determination in his voice had me shattering like broken glass. "I'm not letting you do this, Yoongi. I'm not letting you waste this opportunity. Do you know how many people are waiting to work at Seoul University? How many professors would kill to be in your position?" I kept my gaze steadily on his as I slowly shook my head. "I care about you... so fucking much. I've never loved someone so much before... not like this." I paused, asking myself one last time if this was really the decision I wanted to make as my words settled in. I took in the sight of his beautiful, breathtaking features silently begging me not to do this. "I'm putting you above my selfishness," I finally decided with another shake of my head. "You need to do this Yoongi, for you. You know you do."
Yoongi slowly shook his head, though the expression on his face told me he knew I was right. "I don't want to lose you," he spoke as a tear spilled over the brim of his eye, dampening his lashes and leaving a wet streak in its wake as it rolled down his cheek, and the sight was the final breaking point that had me bursting into tears.
"Neither do I."
His fingers dug into my skin as he tightened his grip on my body, his forehead leaning against mine as the only sounds exchanged between the two of us were the unspoken words of labored breaths and soft sobs.
Sometimes when you love someone, you have to do what's best for them.
And I knew this was what's best for Yoongi.
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blkgirl-writing · 5 years ago
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"Jealousy Isnt Always Bad" Zuko x Jealous!reader
Request(s): sub!zuko smut please! + jealousy with Zuko?
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Zuko is fucking hot, and everyone knows it
So you've learned to be a bit more protective over the man you love
Whenever you go out together, you hold hands, or guiding his hand to your hip
(Hes a big fan of putting his hand in your back pocket)
Zuko isn't super comfortable with kissing in public, or anything obscene, so you keep it light and fluffy
But today was just too much
Three girls had approached him while you two were out for lunch. All acting like you were invisible, or, acting like sharing a bowl of soup and clearly holding hands was something platonic friends did everyday,
By the time the fourth girl came up, you were fuming
"What the fuck."
Oh, you made to say it nice and loud, annoyance clear as day
Zuko definitely got a bit embarrassed by your brassness
"I'm sorry, but you're bothering my boyfriend and I. Kindly leave us to our date-"
You always had a tendency to be polite to people you wanted to slice
But being an outsider and an interracial couple in the fire nation was already a hardship, it came with many, many downsides and bumps. You made sure to never give into any stupid stereotype they might have placed on you because of your color or bending.
The girl left very quickly.
Zuko wasnt stunned, but he certainly looked a bit frazzled
"What was that for, baby?" While he was a bit clueless sometimes, he certainly knew.
You definitely got more handsy throughout the day
Hands slowly making their way up his thigh as you sat, listening to a concert
Small neck pecks and bites
Longer glances whenever he talked
You wanted him, bad. Real, real bad.
In fact, it couldnt wait. Someone else was looking at him, with an insufferable amount of lust.
You basically dragged him into the concerts bathroom
Thankfully it was a large, private one
"What are you doing, baby?" His voice was so fucking soft
"I want you to fuck me right here, bent over the sink. Can we do that?"
His eyes widened a bit, but, definitely with lust
He kissed you, hard, grabbing onto your hips, whispering a quite little "yes," under his breath
But you needed to hear that he really wanted it. That he really wanted you.
"Say that again for me, pretty boy," "say you want me-"
Zuko could have cum right there, not even gonna lie.
"I want you more than anything else," "where-where did this come from,"
You restrained yourself from rolling your eyes, instead, moving your lips down to his neck, pushing his shirt to the side,
"I dont like the way others look at you. Like they can have you." You hummed against his skin, "I'm yours, you're mine."
His fingers dug into your hips for life as you ground into his erection
"You're such a beautiful person, everyone wants you." Before he could give you some bullshit excuse to why he wasn't, you tugged his pants down, just enough to have his member speaking out, flushed and fully erect
You pulled away, staring into his eyes as you slid down your own undergarments, watching as he looked at you with the most intense stare, eyes glimmering with lust. He loved when you talked dirty, told him how good he was. How you controlled him without even really trying.
"You still want this, baby?" You asked, feather light fingers caressing his cock
"I always want you."
It all happened really fast,
You bent over the small counter,arm stretched back to guide him inside you
Already fucking wet for him, all the pent up sexual frustration over the hours of the day
Zuko leaned in , pressing kissed into your clothes shoulder as he thrust lazily into you, yourself doing most of the work as you moved and ground against him,
His hand reached down to rub your clit, not bothering to go soft. The rushed circles sending you into pure bliss
"Look at us, baby, look into the mirror," you moaned, drawing your eyes into the reflection. His skin glowing against yours, hair messy.
"Look at how fucking perfect we are together, how well you fit inside m'" you couldnt even finish your sentence as Zuko looked up, seeing your face, how your eyes were watering from the pleasure, he couldn't keep his orgasm at bay for much longer
He trust hard and deep, grabbing your waist with his open hand and pulling you against him. While he might have been less deep inside you, he perfectly hit that spot,
You came within seconds, with him in suit-
You stood there, mouth open, for a few moments, staring at the filthy image in from of you-
"Hey, is anyone uh-oh, fuck, I'm so so sorry,"
Both zuko and your eyes darted to the open door, the person from earlier, so had been mentally fucking your boyfriend. They had left as quickly as they burst in.
You couldnt help but laugh, Zukos face was fully red, lip caught between his teeth
"Guess I forgot to lock the door~"
-
A/n: so uh....this got out of hand? Thanks for the lovely anons who requested this! It might not have been exactly what you thought, but that's kinda my thing, Haha.
Requests are open!
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bridgyrose · 2 years ago
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Beacon had classes on lawyering. Ruby signs up to be a defense attorney in case her team ever gets into trouble, but is surprised when Cinder signs up to be a prosecutor.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Blake asked.
Ruby smiled a little as she tried to adjust her stance with her heels, knees shaking as she started to lose her balance a bit. “One of us has to know how to defend our team in case something goes wrong. And I can learn how to defend us in case we end up in any legal trouble.” 
Weiss sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “I can handle all of that just fine after we graduate. Besides, dont you think this is a bit extreme for yourself?” 
“Yeah, but as our team leader, its my job to make sure that we stay out of trouble.” Ruby paused for a moment. “Or… at least that’s what Professor Goodwitch tells us in leadership training. So I’m going to sign up to learn how to legally defend ourselves if anything comes up.” 
“And what kind of trouble do you really expect for us to get into?” 
“I mean, any mission we take has a chance of collateral damage that could be pinned on us if something goes wrong while trying to stop any grimm.” 
Weiss rolled her eyes. “Fine, you have a point.” 
“While I’m glad you thought this through, that’s… not exactly what I meant,” Blake said as she sat down. “I’m talking about dressing up like this for a mock trial. You know you dont need to do that, right?” 
Ruby paused for a moment as she finally managed to keep her balance in the heels she wore and looked over the dress she had on. “I-I wanted to look my best for this today. Even if it is a bit restricting.” 
Weiss shook her head. “You should get going now or you’re going to be late.” 
Ruby nodded and started to walk through the halls of Beacon as the sound of her heels clicking along the floor echoed around her. Of course she had felt nervous at the prospect of this kind of trail, even if it was just a mock trial, though another part of her felt relaxed about it. Just the idea of being able to keep her friends safe even away from grimm made her heart soar. 
The smile on her face started to fade as she made her way closer to the signup lists for the mock trial once she saw Cinder selecting her own name. “Cinder? What are you doing here?” 
“The same thing you are,” Cinder answered with a smirk. “Though, maybe on the opposite side. Someone has to keep huntsmen in check, otherwise they’ll be able to get away with everything they want.” 
“Yeah, but… that’s… that’s not the point of the class. Its so we can learn to keep ourselves out of legal trouble if the grimm-” 
“And that’s the issue, isnt it? Its never the huntsman's fault, only ever the grimm or the rogue hunter they’re after. Just like when you and your friends took Roman and that stolen mech to the freeway, putting people’s lives in danger just so you can stop him, right?” 
Ruby looked away for a moment, that particular incident still hitting her hard. It hadnt been her team’s fault that the fight moved its way to the highway, at least not completely their fault. There wasnt time to get him anywhere else and everything else had happened so quickly. “We… we didnt do that intentionally…” 
“And yet, here you are, unpunished for putting lives at risk.” Cinder grinned and pulled her hand away from the signup board. “If your plan to be a hero means putting innocent people at risk just so you can get your thrills, then maybe you’re not cut out to be one.” 
Ruby sighed and looked up at the signup board as Cinder left, her arm shaking as she slowly pressed the button labeled “Sign up” and pressed each letter of her name. Of course she wanted to be a hero, and part of being a hero was learning how to make sure to keep everyone safe, even when everything about the job is against her. With a deep breath, she finished entering her name and accepted putting herself on track to learn how to be a defense attorney, hoping to be able to learn more about defending her teammates’ actions if a job goes wrong. She had to make sure no one would get in trouble.
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ladydevoir · 3 years ago
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Weiss coming out as trans to her team?
The halls of Beacon were quiet as Weiss walked through, though she was glad for the peace as her mind was swimming in thought. She was silently dreading returning to her dorms, knowing what was waiting for her. But, she had decided tonight was the night, and she would not cower away from what she had decided to do. Best to get it over with rather than continuing to let her dread grow. Soon a voice broke her train of thought. “Hey Weiss~!” She looked back as the owner of the voice caught up to her, a plastic bag in hand. “Hello Nora, It’s good to see you. I see your trip to Vale was productive.” Nora beamed back at her with her usual energy. “Good to see you too~ And heck yeah it was~ Me and Ren found that cute coffee shop you told us about, Jaune actually managed to not throw up on the ride there, though he was wasnt as lucky on the way back, and me and Pyrrha went shopping for our dresses for the dance~ Oh, and here’s the stuff you wanted~” Nora held up the back for Weiss who took it and looked through it, a set of razors and shaving cream along with some skin care for after. “Thank you very much Nora. Im afraid I was starting to run low, and our team won’t be free to travel to Vale for a few days. Please, what do I owe you?” As she began to sift through her bag for her purse, Nora held up her hand. “Nuh uh uh, you dont owe me anything. Girls like us gotta stick together after all, and you’d do the same for me~” Nora’s usual high energy voice had softened as she spoke, to which Weiss was grateful. Since coming to Beacon she had been nervous about the truth coming out about her, thankfully Nora had seen through her immediately and been a true pillar of support. Weiss had been surprised and rather relieved when Nora had revealed she was just like her, and in moments like this it was wonderful to have someone to talk to and help her without any worry about questions she was not particularly wanting to answer. As if sensing some unease, Nora gently squeezed her shoulder and nodded her head towards a small bench in the hall. As the two sat down, Nora spoke up. “Hey, you doing ok? You seem off.” Weiss sighed and nodded. “I am just...nervous. I promised myself that tonight would be the night I tell the rest of my team, the truth about me.” Nora watched Weiss’s expression, seeing the build up of worry on her face. “You know the others aren’t going to suddenly turn on you just because of this, right? I cant imagine this would be a big deal for Ruby or Yang, and I doubt Blake would mind really.” Weiss let out another sigh and leaned her head back against the wall, closing her eyes before responding. “I am fully aware that no one on my team will be upset or treat me any different.” “So...whats the problem then?” Weiss looked down, her eyes darting left and right to make sure there was no one else listening, before she spoke. “When Blake accidentally revealed that she was a Faunus, I….did not handle the news with grace. I accused her of having lied to us, keeping the truth hidden from us. And while I did apologise for it afterwards, I still cannot take back what I said. And that is why I am worried. I was so quick to accuse her of lying and hiding the truth and yet here I am, having done the very same thing since starting Beacon.” Her hands gripped one another as she looked down, shaking slightly. “My standing with Blake and the others is not exactly on stable terms, and I am afraid that revealing myself after all I said to Blake might cause more strife between us.” Nora listened quietly as she gave Weiss’s back a gentle rub. Thinking carefully before responding. “If you’re this worried, then why now? Why not wait?” Weiss took a deep breath and looked straight ahead, as if steeling herself for it. “Because I owe it to my team to be honest with them, especially after how I overreacted to Blake. I cannot allow myself to hide the truth any longer, even if…” She looked down at her hands, starting to tremble. Instantly Nora knelt down in front of her and gently cupped her face, speaking softly. “Hey hey, dont go working yourself
up over ifs and maybes. Sure, you said some things, but you said sorry, and they forgave you. Im sure they wont be bothered by this. And if things go south, hey you can always just join our team~! Though we’d need to work out how to include W to JNPR~” Weiss let out a sniffle and smiled, raising her head from Nora’s hands and slowly standing, Nora instantly hugging the girl, to which Weiss reciprocated. “Nora, thank you so much. You have been a wonderful friend to me and I cannot repay you enough.” Nora pulled back from the hug with a wide smile, her usual energy returning. “Hey come-on, thats what friends do, we look out for one another~” Weiss picked up the bag from the ground and nodded back, the two girls walking back to the dorms, idle chatter filling the time before they arrived, Nora giving a big thumbs up before entering her room, leaving Weiss with her hand on the handle, taking a deep breath before entering the room, barely having time to duck as a pillow came flying towards her, narrowly missing as she looked upon the scene. Ruby holding a pillow and swinging hazardly at Yang, who weaved out of the way and returned with her own swing, before the two registered Weiss and stopped. “Hey Weiss! You wanna join in~? Blake might join if its two on two~” Ruby chirped excitedly, her energy seemingly limitless. “Yeah come-on princess, I’ll be more than happy to whoop your butt as well as my little sis’s~” Yang said with a smirk on her face, before dodging a well timed throw from Ruby. Weiss sighed and picked up the pillow that had nearly hit her and closed the door, shaking her head. “Honestly it is a wonder how the two of you are considering becoming huntresses when you act like little children.” “Ah cmon Weiss-y, you gotta have a little fun now and then, whats the point of life if you stay ridged all the time~?” Weiss shook her head and made her way to her bed, placing the pillow onto it and sitting, restless as her worry was building up again. “Weiss? Are you..ok?” Weiss looked up startled at the last member of the team over on her bed, slowly closing her book and focusing her attention on her. “You seem….kinda tense.” Weiss took a breath to help calm her nerves as her other two teammates looked over, all showing a similar sign of concern. “Actually Blake, I need to talk to you. All of you, if that is ok?” Yang flopped down onto Blake’s bed and looked over at her, while Ruby sat down beside her, all eyes on her. “Whats wrong Weiss? Blake’s right, you’re looking real tense.” Weiss’s eyes focused on her hands as she fidgeted, trying to come up with the right words. She silently cursed herself, this should not be this hard. A hand coming to rest on her knee drew her from her thoughts as she looked over at her partner, a soft-yet warm smile on her face. “It’s ok Weiss, whatever’s wrong, you know we’re here for you, right?” Weiss felt herself relax slightly, thankful for her partner’s kind words. “Okay, I do not know how to properly say this, so please, be patient with me.” With a reaffirming nod from Ruby and an audible “Mhm” from Yang, she continued. “The truth is...I have not been entirely honest with the rest of you. And for that, I am sorry to all of you, but mostly, I am sorry to Blake.” Blake looked over, confused. “Weiss, what are you-” Weiss raised her hand to stop Blake, taking a breath. “I was not at all kind to you when you revealed the truth about yourself, despite the fact that in doing so, I was being extremely hypocritical myself. Ive been hiding a truth myself, and after all that has been said and done, I feel I owe it to all of you to be honest.” Weiss took a quick glance at her team, Yang’s expression was clear confusion, Ruby was still giving her the same calming smile, while Blake had become more focused on her. She took a deep breath and continued. “The truth is, I….was not born a girl.” Weiss waited for a response from the others, but when none came, she looked up at her three teammates. Yang looked somewhat shocked, Blake still had her focused look on her, though it was clear she hadnt
expected that. Ruby however, didnt seem shocked or surprised in the slightest. “So, like Nora?” Weiss nodded, and to her surprise found herself being wrapped in her partner’s embrace. “Aww Weiss, you dont have to be nervous, its not like we’d think of you any diferent, ya know?” Yang looked over, shaking off her shocked look and sitting forward. “Yeah, Rubes is right, you’re still our icy princess after all, right Blake?” Blake looked over at Weiss, her expression no longer one of shock, but of understanding. “You were worried I’d be mad at you, werent you?” Ruby and Yang looked to one another as Weiss nodded slightly. “I acted like you lying to us about yourself was such a big deal when I have been lying this entire time.” Weiss continued to hang her head. “Its ok Weiss, really. You already apologised more than enough times for me to know you mean it. And I get it, really. Growing up where you did, I know that kind of thinking isnt easy to get rid of.” Blake shifted herself and stood up. “But, you’re wrong about something.” Weiss looked up hesitantly as Blake stepped over to her, kneeling down in front of her. “You haven’t lied to any of us.” Weiss looked taken aback, not sure what to make of that. It was far from what she had expected Blake to say. “I...I am not sure I follow.” Blake smiled at her softly, resting her hands gently over Weiss’s. “You havent lied to us, because you arent pretending to be something you arent. You’re a girl Weiss, even if you weren’t born one. You haven’t hidden anything from us. From day one, you have been honest to us.” Yang soon walked over, sitting on the other side of Weiss. “Blake’s right, ya know? You’ve always been honest with us about who you are, and you didnt have to feel like you owed us to tell us.” She felt her eyes begin to well up, she knew they would accept her but she had fully expected Blake to be mad at her. To find not only was she not mad, but giving Weiss words of kindness and understanding as she had, it felt overwhelming. Said team was quick to embrace her as she felt a few tears flow, a small smile on her face. “T-thank you, all of you. I-I suppose I should not have been worrying so much over this.” Ruby gave her a gentle squeeze. “Well, worrying about things too much is something you’re best at.” “Hey!” They all laughed as they remained in their embrace, Weiss giving a gentle chuckle. Of course Nora has been right, she shouldn’t have been worried about hypothetical ifs and maybes, especially not with her team. A team that, day by day, Weiss would consider more and more her real family. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Whooo boy, this, this was a tough one. Im proud of how her talk with Nora went at the beginning, I felt like I wrote that well, and yeah I HC Nora as trans. But writing her coming out to her team, I kept erasing and redoing parts because I really did not know how to do it right. This is one I feel like I should come back to when ive gotten some more experience writing.
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negandarylsatisfaction · 4 years ago
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[SUMMARY: Negans wives become jealous after he begins to like the new woman who has joined the sanctuary. Taking advantage of her innocence and English not being her main language, the girls plot against her, making Negan go back on one of his own rules.]
Got Negan speaking some spanish.
Smut
Negan and Valentina. PART ONE
"My oh my..." Negan squinted his eyes at the sight of you across the room from him. Not paying attention to who was watching you, you continued organizing cans of fruit as you were told to do that day.
"Is that the new chick you bought here this morning?" Negan looked over at Simon beside him.
"Yeah, I put her on supply duty. Her english isnt so good but she moves quick."
Negan looked back at you, your caramel complexion and long wavy hair catching his attention.
"And why the hell have I not been introduced to her?" Negan responded with a raised brow.
"You're the one who said not to bother you if I found people I felt could fit in here. Trust my judgement, dont you?" Simon asked Negan noticing he wouldnt take his eyes off you.
"Of course I do. I also trust you to tell me when a fine piece of ass joins us, she might want to join the others," he explained referring to his wives. His response causing Simon to shake his head.
"Ehh...shes a little different from the other ones buddy. That's why I didnt mention her."
"Different? How?" Negan asked with interest as he turned to Simon.
"Shes a quiet one."
"The quietest ones are the freakiest," Negan grinned as he chewed on a toothpick.
"What's her name?"
"Valentina," Simon answered crossing his arms. Negan slid the toothpick around his mouth with his tongue before pulling it out and flicking it to the side.
"I'll be right back," Simon watched as Negan made his way to you knowing exactly what he would try to do.
"Excuse me, Miss Valentina is it?" Negan spoke in a charming voice as you continued organizing the cans straight in a box.
"Shit, I dont think I've been properly introduced to you. I do run this place so I should know everyone here, shouldn't I?" Immeditaly you stopped what you were doing and looked up at him with a look of embarrassment.
"I did not know this was your place. My apologies." Negan frowned at you not expecting your politeness or being so attracted to the sound of your accent.
"No need for an apology, darling. Im Negan and it is my upmost pleasure to meet you." Negan spoke charismatically as he slowly checked out what was before him from head to toe. The look of innocence pulled Negan more towards you. Smiling at him you shyly crossed your arms not knowing what else to say.
"How about I give you a tour of my Sanctuary."
"A tour?" You answered with a puzzled expression.
"What's that?" You asked, not knowing too much English there was many words you did not understand.
"A tour, when someone shows you around. Shit, I'll be your personal host. What do you say, honey?"
"Oh, I guess. Yes." Your response exciting Negan.
Negan showed you the men at work, he showed you where everyone got together to eat and then he left his wives for last. He led you into a room with four women. Slightly confused by how they were dressed and how their faces changed when they saw Negan, you did not say a word.
"Dont be shy, sweetheart." Feeling his hand on your lower back as he gently pushed you close inside you smiled nervously.
"These women here are my dear, dear wives." Negan looked back at you to see your reaction. With a frown you looked at each of them as they stared back at you.
"Wives? All of them? I dont understand."
"Mmmhm." Negan bit his bottom lip with a smile.
"These women get special access to many things here at the Sanctuary and all they have to do is be my wife."
Negan explaining to you the rule did not notice the way one of his wives Sara, was looking at you. Right away you began to feel uncomfortable that this man had all these women, you were not sure if he was trying to come on to you with the offer.
"That is um....very nice-" you struggled to find the right words as you took a step back.
"I should get back to my work," Negan fully turned to you with your response.
"See that's the best part," he spoke in a matter of fact tone.
"As my wife you dont have to do any of that work, sweetheart." Standing still, you observed the way he looked at you. Clearly, he was attracted to you.
"In my country...we work for our needs. We work hard...nothing is for free."
"Hm," Negan responded as he looked down at you. He respected your way of thinking, if anything it made him more interested.
"I cant argue with that, darling." Negan winked at you as he stood beside you. The women watched the way he placed his hand on your lower back once again as he led you out of the room. You were the first woman to deny Negans offer but they saw the way he looked at you. They could tell he liked you and they didnt want to share Negan with anyone else.
The next few days you continued to work with the supplies as you had planned. Negan watched as you helped around with the kids, he thought you were a very sweet woman. He thought you had a softer touch than the others. Today you took a different task and helped with the cooking, you didnt notice how much Negan had his eyes on you. The man was captivated by your beauty. As you cut up the vegetables in the kitchen, Negan quietly entered. Humming to yourself, he entered the room and took it upon himself to stand beside you.
"Mind if I keep you company, sweetheart?"
"If that's what you like," your accent making him smirk. Negan leaned against the counter with his arms crossed, an amused expression on his face.
"What?" You looked up at him confused.
"Nothing...its just the way you speak."
His response making you frown, you weren't sure to be offended or not.
"What's wrong with the way I speak?"
Negan chuckled as he stepped closer to you.
"Oh...absolutely, nothing. I actually find it kind of..sexy." He answered with a grin making you look away shyly.
"I know men like you." Negan frowned as you responded with a soft voice.
"Men like me? What's that suppose to mean?"
"Que se-" you cut yourself off not meaning to respond in spanish.
"I mean-"
"Woah woah woah. What was that?" Negan leaned in closer to you.
"Were you about to just tell me off in Spanish?" He asked with half a smile, he couldn't deny it. The sound of you losing your patience in your first language aroused him.
"Please....go on," Negan teased.
"What I was going to say..was that-"
"In spanish, Valentina," the sound in his voice sounding like an order.
"Te gusta coquetear. You like to flirt...you chase after many women...womanizer."
"Mmmmm..." Negan bit his bottom lip and shook his body liking the sound of you talking in your language before he took another step closer.
"Well just for your information, Valentina. I dont chase after women, I flirt. But I cant help when a woman catches my eye like no other has..." His husky voice making you look up at him staring directly down at you.
"And I have to admit, you've really caught my eye." You could feel your cheeks begin to blush before turning away shyly.
"I better finish cooking." Nervously you responded continuing to chop up the vegetables as Negan remained beside you. Feeling his eyes heavily on you, you began to cut faster when suddenly you sliced your finger.
"Ow!" Negan turned serious at the sound of your scream.
"Shit." He instantly took hold of your hand taking a close look at your cut.
"I'm fine, I just-"
"Come here." Negan took you by your wrist to the table and sat you down across from him.
"Its nothing, Negan-"
"You cut yourself pretty fucking deep." Negan pulled out a small bottle of whiskey from his pocket and opened it with his mouth before quickly pouring some on your wound. You gasped trying to pull your hand back but he held you tightly.
"Easy, honey." Negan blew lightly on your wound as he looked at you and relieved the burning sensation.
"Better? Or am I going to get told off again in spanish?" Negan teased making you playfully scowl at him.
"Let me see this." Negan grabbed a cloth and patted it dry. Quietly you watched how gently he moved, how softly he touched your fingers. You had to admit, you were surprised to see a man like him move so lightly with his hands. He seemed so concerned with your wound. Sara, one of his wives unexpectedly walked in catching your hand in his as he treated you. Quickly you pulled away and stood up noticing the irritated look in her eyes.
"Sara, you need something?" Negan turned to her as she changed the expression on her face.
"No, we were just looking for you. All of us have been looking for you." Sara responded as you turned away wrapping your finger in a bandage.
"Alright. I'll be right there. You can go." Sara not liking his response turned and left the room as Negan stood up and walked towards you.
"You always carry a bottle of that stuff on you?" You asked with your back to him.
"Some times, never know when a pretty lady might accidentally wound herself." He teased making you laugh.
"I'm not so bad after all, am I?" His voice made you smile as you tied your finger up.
"You're still a womanizer," you responded playfully.
"Till one catches my eye." Negans tone wasnt as playful as yours, he meant what he said. Not knowing what to respond to that you changed the subject.
"Well thank you, even though it burned," you laughed as he stood behind you.
"I would've finished taking care of it if you didnt get up and run away so fast."
"Its okay, you're a busy man. Your wives are waiting."
"Let them wait." Negan responded not knowing Sara was hearing eveything behind the door. Never had Negan neglected his time with his wives before and they did not like this.
"I got it. Let me finish cooking, I'll see you around." You turned to him with a smile before continuing to make dinner.
Sara had already been complaining to the other women on how much attention Negan had been giving you. Not realizing just how much these women were growing to despise you, you went about your days not thinking of them. Negan on the other hand bought a smile to your lips everytime he came to mind. Everyday he took time out of his day to have some conversation with you. You would always catch him staring at you from afar, it made your heart flutter. He respected the fact that you didnt want to be one of his wives, that you werent like the others but that's what seemed to make him like you more. A couple days later you found yourself back on supply duty. Negan stood by the door as you marked off the number of each item on your clipboard.
"Everything going good?" The sound of his voice instantly make your heart skip a beat. Turning to him with a sweet smile he walked towards you.
"Yes, everything is great."
"Let me take a look at what you've got going on here." Negan stood right behind you looking over your shoulder as he read over what you had written down. The feel of his body so close behind you made your breathing begin to grow unsteady.
"Shit, this looks about right." He murmured behind you. Negan took a peak at the sight of your cleavage watching your chest rise and fall quickly, he could tell you were nervous with him standing so close.
"So, is good?" You questioned him before swallowing nervously.
"Valentina, tell me...how do I say 'very good' in spanish?" He asked close to you.
"Um..its muy bien," Negan licked his lips at the sound of your voice.
"Muy bien," Negans deep voice sent shivers down your spine, you had to admit he sounded smooth.
"Did that sound good?" He asked slowly, it was hard not to show how much you liked it.
"Mhm," Negan grinned behind you hearing the nervous excitement in your tone.
"How about..beautiful?" You suddenly felt Negans hand gently take hold of your waist making you softly gasp.
"Negan.."
"Say it." Taking a deep breath you hesitantly responded.
"Hermosa."
"Hermosa," he whispered behind your ear seductively, you could tell he was trying to turn you on and it was working until you remembered his wives.
"Negan-" you spoke breathlessly finally turning to face him.
"What are you doing? You know how I feel-"
"No I dont. Tell me again," his eyes were intense, he was turned on just as much, if not more than you were. His hands pulled you close against him as you looked up at him hesitantly.
"I'm not one of your wives...that's not who I am..we cant..-" you spoke but your eyes did not follow. He could tell how weak you were, how close you were to giving in to him. He leaned his forehead on yours, making you feel his breath touch your lips.
"Negan....I dont like being with someone who has...who has others."
"I havent touched them since we met," Negan spoke hoarsley. And it was true, the man couldnt bring himself to be sexually aroused by them with how much he thought of you since he met you. You found it hard to believe but it was true. Finally you both closed your eyes and let each others lips press against each other. Negan groaned with his mouth on yours, for so long he had been wanting to taste you. Not as one of his wives, not as just another woman he wanted but a woman he longed for. His lips trailed down the side of your jaw onto your neck as he sucked on it making you moan. Lost in the passion neither of you heard someone enter the room, that someone being Sara.
"Negan," her demanding voice making you jump back turning away from him as you fixed your hair.
"God dammit, what did I tell you about interrupting me?" He yelled at her in frustration.
"I'm sorry, I'll go." Embarrassed and angry, not expecting him to react this way, she left the room as Negan followed to where you moved.
"Now...where were we?" He pulled you against him making you put your hand to his chest to stop him.
"Negan no, I'm sorry. Those girls dont like me-"
"You think I give a shit?"
"Its not just that, I dont do this like this. I'm not one of them." You struggled to explain to the best of your ability in english. Negan felt frustration run through him, so turned on he could burst knowing he was so close to having you. So close until someone barged in and interrupted the moment. Negans breathing was heavy, you could tell how much he wanted you.
"Dont let her ruin what was happening between us."
"Its not her-"
"Then what the fuck is it?!" He suddenly yelled making you back away.
"You dont yell at me! Quien crees que eres!?" Negan raised his brows, a sudden smirk slowly forming on his face.
"So that's what it takes for you to talk to me like that huh? And what exactly did you just say?" Negan stepped closer as you crossed your arms holding the clipboard against you.
"Not that it matters because either way you sound so sexy..." Negan couldnt hide his arrogant and flirtatious side.
"Who do you think you are?" You repeated so he could understand.
"Thinking because you are the leader of this place you can yell at me or fuck me when you want-"
"Oh baby, talking dirty to me now?" Negan was amused by your reaction, his response only irritating you more.
"Alright, alright. I'm sorry." Negan finally gave in, as much as he liked the sound of you speaking in Spanish, he didnt like you being angry with him. As this whole time, you had never become angry with him.
"But if you must know, that's not the way I think, doll. I actually fucking like you." He admitted making you blush.
"Do I wanna fuck you? Of course I do, cant you see how fucking hard you have me? I can't lie about that but, I also fucking like you. Do you see me making any god damn time for my wives? Why do you think they constantly come looking for me when I'm with you?" Negan had a point, either way at that moment you didnt want to speak about it any longer.
"I think I should continue with my work, I'll talk to you later." Turning your back to him you continued to count over the items, Negan walked out in frustration cursing at himself.
Sara angrily ran to the other women and told them what she had just witnessed.
"So that's why hes barely been with us this past month, hes been with that broad," one wife complained.
"Hes never done this before when other women arrived, what makes that chick so special?" Another complained with frustration.
"I dont know but we've got to think of something to get rid of her. She needs to go." Sara responded when suddenly Negan pushed the door open.
"Sara, can I see you for a moment." Negan called out for her making her smile, not realizing Negan was in anything but a good mood.
"Yes, Negan," she responded happily as she closed the door behind her and faced him.
"Do me a favor dont fucking look for me unless I look for you. Dont ask of me, dont call for me, forget I'm fucking here. Understood?"
Sara's jaw dropped not expecting him to ever act this way with her.
"Y-yes. Sure." Angrily he walked off, only confirming the thought in her head that you indeed had to go.
Sara and the women had planned on introducing themselves to you, as they had never spoken to you themselves. As you finished organizing the supply room and locked the door shut you turned to find Negans wives standing outside the door.
"Um hi," nervously you smiled at them as you felt strongly that they disliked you.
"Hi, Valentina right?"
"Yes."
"My name is Sara, this is Susan, Sherry and Lisa."
"Hi, its very nice to meet you." You werent able to look Sara in the eye knowing she had just seen you and Negan together...kissing.
"I know, we havent really met..but why not right?" All the girls laughed simultaneously as you smiled awkwardly.
"We wanted to ask if you'd like to join us for dinner?"
"I-um sure," being completely caught off guard you weren't sure what to say. The girls happily walked with you to the kitchen and you sat with them quietly.
"Look Sara, about what you saw-"
"What about it?" Sara responded playfully.
"We've all been there with him, now it's your turn. Dont feel bad." She laughed as you felt a kick to your gut. You knew Negan had many wives and fooled around with everyone but you still didnt like hearing it.
"He did that with all of us, whenever one of us were new, we were his main priority for a certain time." She lied through her teeth, she knew none of them ever got personal treatment this way. She saw the disappointment in your eyes.
"Oh. I understand." Your expression quickly changing, the girls could tell you liked Negan and was hurt by what you heard.
Their plan of pretending to be nice to you to gain trust was working, the things they told you of Negan made you never want to speak to him. You felt like a fool falling for his words, how could you be so dumb? The man had so many wives and you for some reason thought you were special? Walking outside with them after dinner instantly caught Negans attention. He frowned and squinted his eyes from where he was watching you speak to his wives. Negan had a funny feeling about this and didnt like the sight of it.
"Oh shit, hes coming," you heard one of the girls whisper when Negan suddenly showed up before all of you, his eyes directly on you.
"Ladies."
"Hi, Negan," they all spoke together while you stayed silent making him step up to you.
"I dont get a hello, Valentina?"
"Negan," you muttered low making him look at the other women strangely.
"Valentina....I'd like to have a talk with you. Alone."
"I'd rather not."
"I didnt ask," he shot back making you look up at him. Looking back at his wives as Negan walked ahead, you could tell they were annoyed but, what could you do. Quietly you followed Negan far from where his wives stood before he turned to you with a very serious look.
"I dont want you talking to them."
"Why not?"
"Cause I said so. I dont trust it," you scoffed rolling your eyes.
"What dont you trust? That they're making me see you for who you really are?"
Negan frowned stairing down at you, his eyes looking directly into yours.
"What are they telling you about me?" He spoke low leaning his face close to yours.
Before you could respond Sara suddenly appeared besides both of you.
"Negan I have to tell you something."
"God dammit Sara, havent you learned-"
"I'm pregnant," you gasped at her words. A heart sinking feeling as you felt a knot in your throat. Sara was desperate to push you away in any way she could.
"Excuse me?" Negan looked at her puzzled as he walked towards her slowly.
"I-I should go." You began to walk away before Negan reached back and grabbed your arm without turning back to you.
"No Valentina. Stay right here. Now, what the fuck did you say, Sara?"
"I'm- I'm pregnant, Negan."
"Bullshit," he responded coldly.
"What the fuck do you think you're trying to do?" He spoke with a low angry voice, he knew exactly what Sara was up to and he wasnt going to let it happen.
"Its true, I am."
"I havent touched you in over a month."
"Did you forget that time in the supply closet?" She asked with wicked eyes, you looked away in shock, feeling disgust.
"Oh you want to play that fucking game with me?" Negan yelled at Sara charging towards her as she stared up at him boldly.
"Go back to the fucking room. Get the hell out of my face." Sara looked over at you in disapproval before storming off back inside. Negan turned back to find you with glossy eyes, he could tell you were attempting to hold back tears.
"Valentina-"
"I should've known. I knew you was a womanizer, a man with many-many wives." You struggled to express yourself properly.
"Val, shes lying. I havent touched her since I met you. I didnt want to."
"My name is Valentina," you snapped at him with your accent emphasizing on your name.
"And it doesnt matter, we are not you know...um a couple or whatever-"
"We can be."
"I dont want to be one of your wives!"
"I dont want you as one of them god dammit, I dont even want them!" Negan yelled making you silent. You didnt know what to believe with everything they had told you.
"I just want to go to my room." You responded in a calm manner as you looked away.
"Then go," Negan walked off angrily that you wouldnt believe him, angry that he ever lived the way he did at all. Quietly you went off to your room just wanting to cool off. Negan headed to where the wives were to discipline them and happened to walk into the hallway hearing them talk their next plan out.
"We have to get rid of her, hes not giving up on her and shes-"
"Shes not going to leave, she has nowhere to go, " Sherry responded.
"And Negan sure as hell wont make her leave. We're stuck with her."
"Unless......unless we do something to her." Sara suggested as Negan over heard with a straight face.
"What do you mean do something to her? Like hurt her?" Susan asked in excitement.
"Yeah, I mean, Negan wont know. He can just think it's an accident." Negan pressed his lips together angrily at the thought of anyone hurting you.
"What do you girls say?" Sara asked looking at all of them eager for a response. It didnt take long for them all to agree. Negan had a rule to never hurt women, but hearing them even think of hurting you made him want to bend some rules.
"We'll just get her one day while Negans out of the sanctuary. Trick her into being alone with us-" The women suddenly gasped at the sound of Negan entering the room.
"Negan, we weren't expecting you," Sara laughed nervously hoping he hadn't heard anything.
"Oh, I know that," Negan responded sarcastically as he stood before them.
"I needed to have a talk with you ladies. Now you ladies know what one of my number one rules are, dont you?"
"Yeah, to not do any harm to women." Lisa responded confidently.
"Exactly, now what are some things I hate?" Negan stepped closer in a very slow manner.
"Lies," responded one wife.
"Being crossed," responded another as Negan slowly pulled out his gun.
"Exactly! Now do you ladies know what this is?" They watched as he placed a silencer on his gun before pointing it at a random space.
"Is that a-" before Sherry could finish he pointed the gun at Lisa and shot her dead making all of them scream.
"So I heard from a little bird that you guys had a plan." Negan pointed again and shot Sherry.
"Shit-" Sara muttered in fear in shock at the cold blooded action Negan was taking.
Quietly you sat on your bed not being able to stop thinking about Negan. Were you actually starting to have feelings for this man? Maybe you should've let him really express himself to you, you knew those women didnt like you after all. With a sigh you stood up and decided to go find Negan and really have a one on one conversation with him.
Negan had by now shot down everyone besides Sara, terrified she put her hands up as Negan walked towards her.
"You thought you could cross me and get away with it?" Negan smirked as she shook her head.
"I...I apologize. I p-p-promise I wont-"
"A little to late for that dont you think?"
Walking towards the main room you could see the door cracked so you knew he was in there. Just as you reached the door you slowly opened it to a sight you would never forget.
"Ne-" you gasped just as Negan pulled the trigger and shot Sara through the head. You let out a scream covering your mouth in shock, Negan turned to you as you observed what was before you.
"Valentina," the look of complete terror in your eyes you couldnt believe what you saw. Visibly shaking, your eyes fell on him then back to his gun still in his hand. Quickly putting it away he took a step forward making you scream taking a step back. Negan could tell he had just instilled fear into you, fear of him.
"Valentina, sweetheart.. I can explain."
Not saying a word as you struggled to breathe you slowly took another step back before making a quick run for it.
"Valentina!" Negan yelled running after you catching you from behind in the middle of the hallway. You screamed as he covered your mouth and held you against him not letting you go.
"I'm not gonna hurt you!" He yelled as you cried trying to get away from him before he pulled you down on the floor against him.
"Shh, listen to me," his hand still over your mouth as he held your arms down around you.
"I had to do it," Negan whispered in your ear out of breath. He could feel you trembling against him, he hated knowing he made you feel this way.
"You think I wanted to do that? You know I dont hurt women but...those women wanted to hurt you. And I wasnt going to fucking allow that." You cried trying to push his hands away, you didnt believe him.
"I know you're scared but you have to trust me dammit!" Negan having more strength than you exhausted you, finally you gave up out of breath against him. Feeling you relax in his arms he slowly dropped his hand away from your mouth. Hesitantly you looked back at him in a way you had never looked at him before.
"No.. don't do that." He whispered looking down at you.
"Dont look at me like I'm a damn monster," you couldnt help noticing the blood splatter on the bottom side of Negans face before looking back into his eyes.
"You killed those women..." you spoke in a shaky voice.
"You werent suppose to see that."
Shaking your head in disbelief you kept picturing all four of their bodies laying dead on the floor. You couldnt believe the same man so gentle with your wound could do so much damage. You had no idea the kinds of things Negan had done.
"No....I-this isnt right.." you slowly began to push yourself away before quickly standing up and rushing off. Just wanting to get away from him you ran into a random room not realizing it was his bedroom. Before you could rush back out Negan entered and locked the door behind him.
"Now you're gonna hear me."
"Negan, please I want to go. Please." You began to cry as he walked towards you with deeply knitted brows.
"You think I'm gonna hurt you?" You couldnt look him in the eye as he stood inches away from you.
"Those women wanted you dead which is why they're dead and you think I'd fucking hurt you?" Slowly blinking through your tears you looked up at him hesitantly.
"Dead?" You whispered confused.
"Yes they wanted you dead and they were going to hurt you the next time I wasnt around and I would've killed them then too." Looking down you noticed the view of his gun, instantly making you uncomfortable. Negan followed your eyes and could tell it made you feel unsafe.
"You want me to put it away, then will you fucking listen to me?"
Without you saying a word he slowly pulled it out of his pocket and hid it in a drawer beside him.
"Why?" You suddenly asked looking up at him innocently.
"Why what?"
"Why for me...you do this? I dont understand I-"
"I thought I made myself clear about that, sweetheart." Negan slowly stepped closer to you not wanting to frighten you.
"I cant help when a woman catches my eye and I haven't had a woman catch my eye in a long fucking time."
Got cut off with this post, I'll post part 2 in a bit!
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tomdiddlyumptious · 4 years ago
Note
Hey! If your uncomfortable please ignore this ask, but i was wondering if you could write something similar to malcome & marie? Thank you! Happy belated birthday!
Thank you baby! I actually thought about this ask for a bit. As a community we do NOT support or want anything like that in our lives, okay?
But if you as a reader would be uncomfortable with reading this then do not.
this will be kinda very similar to the plot of malcome & marie sooo....
Pairings: Film creator!tom x used to be sex worker!reader
WE SUPPORT SEX WORKERS. YOU ARE GOLDEN😩🙌🏽
Summary: after a celebration its time for the downfall
Warnings: argueing, slut shamming, smut mentions. Drinking, smoking. Not proof read. TOXIC- suicide mention.
I hopw this is just as confusing as it was in the actual movie, cuz yeah. Pls dont be shy to say something about it. And tbh if it isnt that good to you i dont blame you, its currently 11:16 and i should be asleep.
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You and tom walked in, a wide smile on his face as he danced around and shut the front door behind him. “Baby i did it!”
A faint smile played on your lips as you walked to the kitchen “yes you did, tom. You hungry?” You asked, opening the fridge as he went to go get a bottle of remy and two glasses, the rings shinning bright on his finger. “Yeah, can i have uh-“ he thought, stopping in his tracks and jerking his head as he couldnt think of anything.
“How about pancakes?” He randomly said and you chuckled “pancakes? Really?” “Of course! A sweet treat for a very sweet day” he walked up to the kitchen placing the glasses and the remy down.
You laughed again before taking out the pan, he also got to work by getting out the mix and the water while you got everything else. A cigarette in your mouth as tom helped light it while you mixed up the powder with the water.
“I never knew i could make it so far” he muttered, grabbing the remy and pouring it into the glass, tilting his head back and letting out a small moan from the sting in his throat. “You did a good job”
“Ya know, everyone is so judgemental, like i could walk around with my shoes untied and somebody would fucking give me a glare- or even what you call it. a stank eye” you nodded at his words letting him know you were listening, “but when i made that fucking movie i had all these women just- i cant even explain it” he shrugged, walking around the house with the glass in his hand, a wide smile on his face while you sighed and puffed out the smoke, the sizzle from the mix going on the buttered pan audible before he speaked again.
“They just kept on telling me how fucking talented i am, how i get women so fucking well. I mean goddamn im such a fucking genius” he edged on, cocky as he stomped his feet at his words,’ such, a, fucking, genius’
“Yes you are tommy” you looked down and seen the mix bubbling, taking the spatula and flipping the pancake, shifting and leaning on your right leg as your dominant hand sat on your hip, the other holding onto the cig.
“But it’s confusing. Any other time they would probably fucking- what do you call it” he snapped his fingers before taking a sip. “Aha! Fucking cancel me!” He pointed at the ceiling. “Why would they do that tommy” you lifted your eyebrow, “youre only writing a good story” you sighed, looking at the plates and rubbing a mark that was left on them.
“People now days do it just because....just because their bored- or even because they dont like them- BUT-“ he lifted his finger towards you “they have no reason to”
“Mhm, you should wait for the reviews” you took the cigarette and put it in the ash tray, taking the fire out before putting the pancake on the plate.
“They have to be good! I can make fucking millions off of this” he smiled, quickly walking over before chugging his drink.
“Yes...yes you can” “and then we could buy a fucking island, a boat and even a horse!” He laughed, amazed and he set down the glass before coming behind you, pressing kisses to your neck as he watched you put the batter on the pan again.
“What makes you want a horse?” “What makes you think about reviews?” And with that you shrugged “just because a few reporters and new york news writers like it doesnt mean that everyone will”
“Why are you being so negative? Goddamn you bring the worst out of everything y/n” he let you go, and you looked at him, giving him the famous eyes.
“The worst? How about you go fuck yourself” you said, aggressively grabbing the spatula to flip the pancake. “Go fuck myself? Whats your problem”
You stayed silent, wondering if you should just go outside and smoke another cigarette or hear him bitch and moan. “Y/n you have a problem every other fucking day. I try to talk to you but you dont. You rather talk shit and let it marinate” he rested his hands on his hips and starred at you while you bit your lip and put the pancake on the plate, grabbing the syrup you put the right amount for him before aggressively walking to the table and slamming it down.
Your heels clanking against the floor as you made your way to the bathroom. Leaving tom by his self as he let out a harsh sigh and rubbed his chin, thinking about what he should do before finally grabbing a fork to eat his breakfast.
“You know. You do the same shit every night- you curse me out then the next hour you wanna suck my dick or something” you starred at yourself in the mirror, biting the side of your cheek before you took of the heels, then coming back out.
“How dare you, thomas” you said harshly, walking back to him and watching him eat the pancakes. “How about you be fucking mature and stop eating”
“No. I dont wanna fight” he shrugged, cutting the pancakes fancy before he placed them in his mouth. “Your such a fucking bitch” your eyes squinted as you leaned forward.
His eyebrows raised and he cleared his throat “a bitch?” He let out a loud laugh, tilting his head before coming back “i think we both know whos the bitch here”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” “Oh you know exactly what im talking about” and with that your jaw basically droppped to the floor “why are you suprised?”
“Have you ever thought-“ you caught your words before repeating them “im the reason why youre gonna get millions, if i was never there for you. If you were never in my life youd still be in that house that you hated so fucking much” you walked closer.
“Trust me baby you were apart of it, but you sure as hell werent the main character” “then please-please tell me who else was doing sex for money?” You asked, and he didn’t answer, instead continued to eat the pancakes.
That made you more aggressive, quickly walking to the table and snatching the plate. “How dare you have to nerve to talk shit about me while you eat what i made you”
“Fuck you y/n” “no fuck you!” He dropped the fork, his face becoming a shade of red. “Im the reason why youre in this fucking house right now, im the reason why you have that fucking ring on your finger” you said, then put your fingers on your ring.
“Dont you fucking dare take off that 50,000 thousand ring y/n” “why shouldnt i?” “Because you love me dont you, darling?” that made you soften up a bit, taking your fingers off the ring as he smiled, telling you to come over. He sat you on his lap, taking the cigarette out of his jacket that youre wearing, grabbing the lighter from his pocket.
You put the cigarette in your mouth and he repeated the same action, lighting it for you. “I love you y/n”
“Mhm” you smiled, taking out the cigarette to press your lips on his and he rubbing your hips, the passion over the tension in the room. “Oh well i thought the movie was shit, i uh- couldnt help but think thats not how it ends” you teased with an old grandma accent and he laughed.
“Yeah i did to, how does man get with a prostitute and marry them” he teased back making you both laugh. “The movie felt so real, it reminded me of my friend miranda” you playfully said with a more younger high pitched voice.
And it went back and forth, laughs leaving both of your lips until he pushed the buttons “man she really was a thot” your eyebrows furrowed as he laughed to his self. “Man he really was desperate for a blow job” you said in your serious voice “man i wonder why he hooked up with such a thot”
“I didnt mean it like that-“ “fuck you” you got off his lap and walked back to the bathroom. “Here you go again y/n!” He shouted, and you turned back around.
“Your so fucking selfish” “we werent even talking about that-“ “no fuck you. All you do is say i-i-i” you yelled, words strong. He stood up agitated “you know what you wanna argue, lets argue”
“You gave up on me” “if i gave up on you why would i marry you” “our love was strong in the beginning and then you just-became you” you looked at him up and down.
“That was because i was in love with your body” he smiled “really? Why didnt you just leave me on the fucking street!” You yelled again, “because I thought you deserved better, maybe you should still be in that fucking old apartment with fucking big ass rats running through it, men twice your age fucking your loose ass whole”
“FUCK YOU” you shouted pointing at him “maybe i shouldve used that sloopy mouth of yours to stay on my dick so you could stay shutting up” “NO FUCK YOU THOMAS” and with that you walked away, into the room this time before tom followed behind you.
“Please leave me the fuck alone before i flip out on you, please just leave” “no”
“You know what. I feel like once you feel like you gave everything they wanted and more you expect them to stay with your sorry ass” “oh im not sorry. And thats not true” he shrugged, standing infront of the door as you sat on the bed. “Im so embarrassed to call you my husband” you shook your head.
“Why shouldnt i be embarrassed to call you my wife?” He shrugged again, leaning against the door looking at you. “If it werent for me you wouldn’t be as happy as you are now” “what makes you think im happy y/n! Im really not” “and you think i am?!” You looked up at him, getting up and walking to him but he continued to back up, until you both were in the open hallway with a table in the middle of it.
“I was never happy in the first place” you said, eyes starting to tear up. “Dont give me fucking alligators-“ “do you know how embarrassing it is for someone to tell you to get your own fucking ride home because you wanna fuck someone else?” You asked, your voice changed as you wiped under your eye, smuding the makeup.
“I had to ask Harrison to give me a ride home. I was scared tom” you sighed, shoulders becoming slump. “What if i ran into somebody i fucked? And they forced me to have sex with them again or else theyd report me to the police?” You asked, breaking down and falling to the floor while tom watched, guilt and shame all ocer his face as he leaned against the table.
“I watched you with my two own eyes make out with someone then the next day you asked me to ride you. But you wanna slut shame me for being broke and needing to survive, that broke me so much. And i did it” you choked “i gave consent everytime, brusied my knees from getting on them for you. Just to make you happy. I let you get full of yourself and now its all about you” you whispered and he came down to you, holding you and pressing kisses on your hair while you broke down more, hiding away from him. “You let me stay out there on Christmas day” a frown met on his lips, thinking back on the day and how you were probably reallty cold, he knew you couldnt stand it.
“And i gave consent to getting married to you, your such a hoe” he couldnt help but chuckle “no seriously your a hoe to feeds for attention” you made eye contact with him, and then you both broke into laughs, sniffels leaving your lips causally but easily ignored knowing you feel slightly better.
And with that you both beard his phone ding, well multiple dings. You told him to answer it, check it. And it was a review, he stood up and helped you up, walking to the livingroom before going over to grab the glasses and remy, pouring it in both cups you both took one.
“Alright, this is from whats her name....janice!” He said, sitting on the couch and you sat between his legs in the floor, sipping the drink. “Overall the movie was great. But there was a few things that werent right in my opinion-“
With that his eyebrows furrowed, you played with the carpet as you waited for him to continue, he leaned forward with his elbow on his knee using his thumb to scroll. “I couldnt understand why the character had all these strange things about her, why the sex scenes were that necessary”
“Ding ding ding”
“Shut up y/n you arent helping- i don’t understand how jhon and candy got along and became freinds if they continue to have intercourse. What the fuck are you talking about? Bla bla bla” he muttered, skimming through it “how candy and ron got along? Shouldnt they be together of they clicked so well?”
A small laugh left your lips “me and Harrison? That wouldnt be so bad”
“How in the world did they get married? Honestly the whole relationship is toxic, but i see it as they were to late to give it up, they were already in a too tight knot. Thats not true we are madly in love with each other” he jerked his head at the phone.
“Ms janice does have a point” you cleared your throat a bit. “Y/n please. Ms janice has no fucking idea what shes talking about jhon and candy are in love with each other and they have problems sometimes....well most but oh well its not to late either one of them couldve got up and go”
“Not if one loved more then the other and it was to late to go, janice is right tom” you crossed your arms.
“Do you wanna-“ “no tom i dont. Just speaking my opinion, coming from a woman your being pretty harsh about it” “well it wasnt really about candy-“
“That doesnt make any sense, shes the main fucking character” you looked at him. “It was more on how jhon viewd candy” “then why was candy always in camera”
“Because...” he shrugged. “Your so dumb” you got up and sat far away from him on the couch, he eyed you in confusion “isnt that fucking movie based off of my life. Like im some type of experiment and you solved made something out of it” you dozed off, swirling the remy in your glass. “Im not feeding into this” he ignored you, until you got up and barked at him, which he looked at you as if you were crazy before doing it back “fucking prick!” You stomped off out of the livingroom and went outside.
“Fuckin-“ he couldnt come up with anything before he let out something random “fuckin mood swinger-“ you finally took the time to take off your makeup and dress, muttering words about him “thats why he stinks, smellin like a gorrila- asshole- man whore” you took a bath too, you didnt feel your best at the moment.
Tom on the other hand just took off his shoes and aggressively stomped on the pillows, throwing a tantrum and jumping on the couch and punching air, kicking it until he accidentally fell.
By time you were dont he thought about it “harsh?” He questioned and walked into the room, finding you reading a book on the bed with the night light on and a cigarette in your mouth.
“Y/n?” “Yes thomas?” You looked up at him “harsh?” He asked and you tilted your head at him “i wasnt being harsh about it” “mhm” you shut your book and set it on te night stand, he undressed until he was in his underwear and climbed into bed with tou.
“How was i being harsh about it” you sighed and rested the cigarette in the ashtray, not putting it out just yet. “You arent really aware of others feelings tommy” you said simply. “What does that mean?” He asked, crossing his arms and sitting up next to you, both backs against the headboard and he looked at you.
“It meas i loved you more then you loved me” his eyebrows furrowed at the statement “that cant be true” “tom it is. You didnt say it but you did. You only wanted me for my body. My love and soul came later and i was to blind to notice. That was my bad”
“Loved?” He questioned. “I think i started to love you less and got on a even level with you, then we built together” you shrugged, crossed a leg over your other one and crossing your arms to. He let out a small laugh, “you know i never understood why jhon died in the end and why candy committed suicide” you said and his heart sunk a bit low.
He cleared his throat before saying something “i know you’re afraid of losing me, y/n. I never told you this but ive read your journal” he nodded his head and you bit your lip, knowing every single letter you wrote and how much it sucked thinking back about those days.
“I know how much you loved me but hated me. But something really grabbed my heart. ‘I want to keep tom, hes like my soulmate. My hearts gotton closer by every minute and moment ive been with him. Even though i feel like ive been burned by some of the things hes done, id forever love him. Losing him would be like losing me entirely’”
“I still don’t understand” you mutter, silently wondering how he knew word by word. “I took advantage of that. Because when i was done reading it i knew it was true, it is true. I couldnt feel it in my heart, thats why i picked you up and took care of you. I noticed you really care for me and ive done nothing but asked you to suck me off, i thought i was making both of us happy by giving you what you needed, or wanted. I became so happy when we got closer, you told me about your new apartment and i was so excited, but it wasn’t because of me entirely. I wanted you to myself. I needed you to myself and you needed it too. So if you lost me you would lose everything, give up on love.” Everything he said was true, it wasnt what you wanted to hear but he needed you to hear the truth.
“So candy gave up on it” he shrugged “she didnt try because there was no need to, she didn’t think anyone else would love her, ‘without tom i have no one else, i know ive done some un speakable thigns with him but i can tell by his eyes and heart that he wants something, he just wont tell me’” he smiled, quoting off of your journal again with a smile on his lips. “Thats why i try every time to keep this relationship strong, go to therapy with you, kiss you and tell you how beautiful you are everyday, cook you breakfast when i know your trying to do something new”
“So youre only doing this because you dont want me to kill myself?” “No y/n. I did it at first but then i opened my eyes and noticed how much i really fucking love you” he uncrossed his arms and reached for your hand. “And i know you love me too, on a even page” you both shared a crooked smile, using your free hand and grabbing the cigarette and putting it to your lips. The time currently 4:30 in the morning as he reached for the cig, your eyebrows furrowed as you let him take it. “Since when do you smoke?”
“Since i had too much of your bullshit” “shut up” you both laughed, slapping his chest as he handed it back, a small laugh leaving his lips. “Im sorry for giving you such a headache” he muttered and you ignored it, putting out the cigarette and turning off the night light, keeping your distance from him you got under the covers and shut your eyes, and he did the same, turning away from you so you are back to back.
A smell of bacon filled your nose when you woke up, a faint smile on your lips as you got up, walking to the kitchen and finding thomas cooking.
“Whats the special occasion?” “I know youre trying something new”
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