#even if nothign will ever come of it

[the-idea-of-stars]

saw her randomly in the dining hall yesterday. She said my shirt was super cool, remembered where I work, and somehow noticed that my hair tie is orange

[icedille]

need to kill myself or kiss someone with tongue. whichever i get the opportunity to do first

[amsgrey]

I judt found this draft/idea thing in my drafts from over two years ago (written before Little Sister Hugs) and i genuinely cracked up so much rereading it bc it would be really funny.

would anyone be interested in this?

Jay and hailey are busy with a case involving drug trafficking with military dudes or smth

you and will go out for dinner bc you get like n A+ in science or some shit and Will is all proud older brother

you get a call from Jay that the case is ramping up so he wont be home tonight and then ur like lit ill stay at wills i just gotta grab some stuff

you and will walk in and the house is like a mess and your like uh wtf

and will is like ok let me call jay or the cops or whatever

before he can he gets like smacked from behind like all those stupid movies

ur like o shit what the actual fuck

these big old dudes are in all black and holding like riffles bc intimidating and ur like :o

and ur standing in the kitchen so you do that really funny grab for the closest weapon and its like a pan that was waiting to dry or something entirely useless

theyre like yeah ok sure put it down u dimwit

u like stand over will being like feck off my brothers a cop

theyre like ha lol yeah we know we tryna find him where he at

ur like ha what i dont know? wouldn't have a clue

and theyre like ok then u come with us and ur like uh no sir

omg what if they chloroformed them that would be the funniest trope ever

jay is like workin the case being all undercover n shit and then he gets a call and its wills phone and hes like oh what did y/n do

will is like silent

jay is like yo whats up u alg

OR WHAT IF ITS LIKE WHAT THEY DID TO SAY WHERE THEY JUST SEND LIKE A SUPER FUCKING ANGSTY SHIT QUALITY VIDEO OF THEM LIKE BEATING WILL WHICH IS SUPER FUCKING NOT FUNNY BUT IS FUNNY TO IMAGINE THE UNO REVERSE FOR JAY

Jay immediately looses his mind and tries calling u like wheres will tf

obvi u dont answer and hes like this aint right

the team go to jays house and its all like torn apart but nothign like bad?

they call in the lab and the labs were like oh hey there's blood but they cleaned it? or smth

jay is spiralling and then they get anoter video of u? idk something else angsty

theyre like release our dude and give us back all the idk like guns and shit and voight is like ok well no way they let us do that

jay almost going cowboy cop

everyones like well this is great

you are like locked up by zipties bc criminals are stupid and you manage to like breakfree like a real mvp

u like find a gun or smth bc thats fun and free will

your all like well theres enough warehouses n creepy buildings in chicago for u to be anywhere so tf where we at

wills all leave me bc thats a funny trope and ur like shut the fuck up u dumbass

some military dude comes round the corner with his gun and sees u tryna walk with dead weight will and hes like? what are-

you shoot him bc badass bitch

he like fall down is all bloody and ur like o shit i just killed a man

will is like ya we gotta go ok like this shit serious fam

you walk around a corner and they all be sitting around in the big room and u and will are like oh hi guys

they all like point guns and ur like ah man we dead

but then!! intellegence is all out ur guns on the ground now! police things!

one of them like aims his gun but someone shoots his gUN bc i think thats the badassest thing ever and then he like has a bleeding hand and grabs u and knife to the throat thing bc trope central over here

no one has a clean shot so they all like omg dude let her go

do u get like seriously hurt? lowkey imagine like them dying and jay and will being like a mess ok thats way too dark but i like?

you either

die

get seriously maimed like idk loose a limb or smth idk

or ur unharmed and are like omg how am i not even bruised tf is this

depends on the level of angst idk

if anyone wants to ready this lmk i might actually write it

[tumbleweedtech]

Oh get fucked you dipshit. No one bothered with you or cared about your ship until you started attacking people for the "crime" of liking a different ship than you. I'd forgotten you existed and was all the better for it. Sure, fine. Vernilla forever, it's vanilla and boring and stupid, just like you. I shall stop enjoying the fandom I'm in, that has nothign to do with you, and come back just to write you some stupid blonde bimbo who lays back to get fucked in boring, uninteresting, and unpleasant ways by some smelly fucking war criminal who barely gets it up because he's too goddamn old and tired. He's just huffing and puffing away on top of her like some pathetic lump. How's that for pillow princess, you dumb fuck? At least check if 1) people are even still in your fandom, or 2) taking prompts, you utter fucking shit stain. You are the worst part of fandom. I wish your computer would melt. You do not deserve the internet. I hope your phone battery never holds a charge, every plug in your home fries the motherboard of every computer you have forever, and every ship you ever love is never, ever more than a rarepair that only you and the nice people you trick with prompts bother to write for. You lost any chance at kindness and/or respect from me when you attacked people who had nothing to do with you, when you sent inappropriate gifs to minors and you harassed people WHO HAD NEVER EVEN WRITTEN ROCHE BEFORE. Now go away, @whereisvernilla . Go the fuck away and don't ever come back. Because all you're doing is making me hate Ciri as a character since you can't fucking comprehend that people not writing your ship doesn't mean they dislike it, or dislike the characters. IT JUST MEANS THEY LIKE OTHER THINGS. Fucking moron. I swear to god if you had two braincells it'd be because one was solely dedicated to keeping you breathing, you goddamn idiot. I swear to every god you don't understand the concept of fantasy, of preferences, or consent. You keep telling us to go to hell. WELL BITCH ILL MEET YOU THERE. this is the fucking stupidest motherfucker I have ever met both in person and online and i've met some really, really fucking stupid people.

And for everyone who has no fucking idea what's going on, sorry. This dipshit has evaded blocks, sent emails, dms, asks, both anon and not, full of bigoted slurs, she's stolen fics and art that she's edited and reposted, she's sent sexual things to minors, she's sent sexual things unasked for to people, she has been asked, told, demanded, and reported. She comes around every now and then and Drums up drama crying about how no one likes her ship when all we were doing was cheerfully enjoying doing our own things and ignoring her. Note: Been dealing with her bullshit for years now. Yelling at her makes her leave me alone for a few months.

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 233. brb x oc

a/n: ah yes, horny rooster is the best rooster (comments and reblogs are super welcome and encouraged!)

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: A BIT SUGGESTIVE BUT NOTHIGN MORE

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

1/

/180/181/182/183/184/185/186/187/188/189/190/191/192/193/194/195/196/197/198/199/200/201/202/203/204/205/206/207/208/209

/210/211/212/213/214/215/216/217/218/219/220/221/222/223/224

/225/226/227/228/229/230/231/232

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! )

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @novastories @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix @lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2

@emilybradshaw @louisahale @leobabbyyy @booklover2sblog @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads @bigpoppajes @taytaylala12

@caitsymichelle13 @becks-things @caatheeriinee07 @fanboyswhore9 @jesfreedark @katiemcrae @lilmonstrjedi @hobiismyhopeu @teacupsandtopgun @insominac23 @gh0stsgoodgirl @mygyn @chavivaelisheva @kmc1989 @enchantingharmonyalpaca

-

Beatrice knew when Bradley had something in his mind because he’d spend some time staring at the ceiling, hands behind his head and eyes locked on whatever shape was above his gaze. She stops by the bathroom door, rubbing her hands together to spread the moisturizer evenly on her skin, “Roos?” she calls once, smiling when her husband’s eyes turned to her, “Hey,handsome.”

She slowly approaches the bed, crawling on the mattress and then finally settling on his lap, hands on his bare chest, “What’s on your mind? You’ve been quiet ever since Nikki went to sleep.”

“Hm.”

“Roos.” she cups his cheeks “What’s the matter? Why are you so quiet right now?”

Rooster's distant gaze gradually refocused as he met Beatrice's concerned eyes. He offered her a faint smile but didn't say anything for a moment, as if choosing his words carefully.

"Sorry, babe," he finally spoke, his voice low and contemplative. "I've just had a lot on my mind lately. “ his hands caressed the back of her thighs, doing up her spine then all the way down, “I’m just…I don’t know.”

“I have all the time for you.”

He chuckles softly, kissing her forehead a few times, “Course you do, gorgeous.” he whispers, falling back down onto the pillow, biting the inside of his cheek, “Mav’s talking about retirement.” he mutters, tsking softly, ‘Or…something of the sort.”

“Mav?” she questions, sitting on his lap, eyebrows furrowed, “Wait…Maverick, Pete Mitchell, your uncle is talking about retirement?” 

“Yep.”

Beatrice frowns, caressing his cheek, “...and that bothers you doesn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

He inhales quietly, one of his hands coming up to rub his jaw as he thinks about his response. Because Maverick was the one father figure he had? Because he wanted more time with him, even if it was in the Navy and both of them were in different areas? Even if he was in the air and Maverick was on land?? “I dunno.”

Beatrice could see the turmoil in Rooster's eyes.She leaned in closer, her voice soft and reassuring. "Roos, it's okay to feel this way. Maverick means a lot to you, and it's natural to want to spend more time with him."

“He doesn’t want to retire.” his frown turned into a proud smirk as he said that, “Stubborn ass that he is, he’s going to make the higher ups keep him on the air, he’s not going to just accept to stay on land so often.”

Beatrice smiles back, folding her arms on his bare chest to keep her eyes on him. "He's always been a pilot through and through," she agreed. "And stubborn.”

“You can say that again.”

“Well,if he doesn’t want to retire then…” she shrugs, making some of her hair fall on her face and Rooster tucked it behind her ear before she could, “Why are you upset about it?”

He let out a sigh, his brows furrowing as he tried to put his feelings into words. "It's not that I'm upset about him not retiring, babe," he began, "it's just... well, it's complicated.”

Rooster ran a hand through his hair, his gaze fixed on the ceiling once more as he spoke. "I guess part of it is that I...I’ve never seen Mav not doing this." he gestures to the air, “Like, flying, the Navy, I’ve never seen him doing anything but this.” he chews the inside of his lips, “...I think,I think it’s…it’s because it kinda connects us together.”

Oh.

“And my dad.” he whispers, “It connects the three of us.”

Beatrice stares at him once he goes silent, inhaling quietly as she plays with her fingers, trying to figure out what to say back to him without hurting his feelings. She knew he’d understand, he often did, but it never hurt to be cautious.

Beatrice reached out and gently placed her hand on Rooster's cheek,rubbing the tiny scar he had there. "I understand, Roos," she said softly. "You don’t want to lose that connection, which you…won’t, you know? He’s still going to be there,for you,for us, for the kids."

Rooster turned his head to look at her, his eyes reflecting a mix of emotions. "Yeah," he replied, his voice a little shaky. "I know it’s just…I’m used to seeing him around and we have lunch together most of the time." he smiles sweetly, “We have our own table in the cafeteria. Kinda…reminds me of when I was a kid and he’d take me out for a burger and shakes.”

Beatrice's smile widened as she listened to Rooster's reminiscing. "That sounds really special," she said. "How old were you?”

He sighs, playing with the end of her shirt, ‘...Eleven? I think? I had just cut my chin while playing soccer and my mom was really nervous about it, Maverick showed up, took me to some of that greasy goodness and we…spent the whole day together.”

His chest inflates when he takes a deep breath, Beatrice was still on top of him, and his eyes turned to the side, “...feels stupid.I know it’d happen, but,I dunno, seem’s weird it’d happen now.”

“Mav is over sixty already,Roos.” she whispers, “He doesn’t show it, but he is.”

“He’s better than half of the new recruits there.” he mutters, “Better than half of our higher ups. I can’t believe they are still pissing on him about stuff.”

“They are still bothering him?”

Rooster clenched his jaw, his annoyance evident. "They never stopped,gorgeous. First it was the drones, then they want to keep him doing paperwork?Mav hates paperwork, but he’s great doing it, he just hates sitting down and being…stable." he frowns, “I think they are just annoyed he remained a captain and refused any sort of promotion.”

Beatrice hums,rubbing the tiny scars on his chin - his chest immediately relaxed when she did that- “We never talked about that.” she whispers, “About why Mav always said no. Do you…have any idea why?”

"I've never asked him directly," Rooster admitted, his brow furrowing in thought. "But I have a feeling it has to do with his need for freedom. Mav's always been the kind of guy who wants to be out there, in the field, making a difference. He hates being tied down by bureaucracy or desk work."

Beatrice nodded in understanding, her fingers still gently tracing the scars on Rooster's chin. "So, it's not about competence or ambition. It's about his love for the job."

Rooster smiled at her,. "Exactly, gorgeous. Mav's a warrior at heart, and I think he feels like he can make a bigger impact out in the field than behind a desk. And I'll always have his back, no matter what."

“I know.” she whispers, “Even if that means arguing with the higher ups?” she questions and it was like she popped out a can he was trying to keep closed. In reality, Bradley’s promotion could give him a bit of leverage amongst the higher ups - he’d be a Lieutenant-Commander, that had to count for something - when it comes to Mav.

Rooster sighed, realizing that Beatrice had touched on a sensitive topic. His mouth parted,then closed, then opened again as he sighed. "You know me too well, babe. I won't hesitate to argue with the higher-ups if it means getting Mav the recognition and freedom he deserves." he frowns, “It might be…too much but, it’s Mav. Everyone knows him, about him…he helped us so much.”

Beatrice smiled, her eyes filled with love and admiration for her husband. "I wouldn't expect anything less from you, Roos. But please, please be careful?”

“I will be,” he says, “I won’t do anything, at all, I’ll just talk to Mav and see what goes on, he will come up with something. I know he will.” his hand is still playing with the bottom of her shirt and Rooster’s head falls back on the pillow, “He has surprised me many times before.

Beatrice shifted closer to Rooster, her concern etched across her face as she cups his chin. "Just promise me that you'll think things through before you dive into any conflicts," she said softly. "Mav is more than your uncle, he’s our friend, and we want what's best for him, but we also need to be cautious about how we approach this."

Rooster turned his head to meet her gaze,whisky colored eyes meeting her green ones. "I promise, babe. I won't rush into anything. I'll talk to Mav first, and we'll come up with a plan together. We'll handle this the right way. if there’s any need for one.”

Beatrice smiled, her fingers brushing a lock of Rooster's hair away from his forehead. "That's why I love you, Roos.” she says,”Because you are all in for the people you love.”

Rooster grinned, his hand moving to cup her cheek affectionately. "Thank you,babe. I can’t say you are that much different from me.” he kisses her one more time, hugging her close to his chest.

As they lay together in the quiet of their bedroom,the clicking of Eleanor’s claws coming and going from the hallway being the only thing they could hear, Beatrice couldn't help but ask him something. "Roos," she began, breaking the peaceful silence, "what…exactly does a Lieutenant-Commander does?”

“To be completely honest, it’s not that different from what I do now.” he says, popping his chin on her head “Lieutenant-Commander is a fancy way of saying I'm in charge of a bunch of stuff on the ship. Same old,same old."

‘Hm.”

“Why?”

“I just like hearing your voice.” she jokes, smiling up at him. He huffs out a laugh, kissing her nose as she giggles at him, “No,but seriously, I’m just proud of you.”

His gaze softens alongside his smile as he hears those words come out of her mouth. ‘...I know,babe.”

"You've accomplished so much, and you're an incredible husband and father."

Rooster's smile widened, and he pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her in a tight embrace. "We make a good team, don't we, babe?"

She nodded, resting her head against his chest as they swayed gently back and forth. "We do." her gaze turns to the side, seeing the time and parting her lips, “We should sleep.” she tries to climb off his body but he holds her there, ‘Roos.”

“Do we?” he coos, hands going down to cup each butt cheek with his large hands, “Really?” his lips trail down her jawline until he reaches her neck, playfully nipping the skin there, “Cause I think we can stay up a little while longer.”

Beatrice gasps quietly when he pushes his pelvis up to hers, eyelids fluttering, “I…y-you are right. W-We can.” she squeaks in surprise when he flips their position so he’s on top of her, giving her a full on ‘im ready to eat you’ grin.

“Atta girl.” he says as he slaps her ass, “I love how you think.”

-

Beatrice had so much to do that morning, why did her husband have to be so attractive and keep them awake so late? She couldn’t really complain now,could she? She bites her lower lip trying to hold back her smile as she pulls her hair up in a ponytail, then looks around for her keys, “We’re going to the park Nikki,” she tells her daughter, who’s just lying on her stomach with Eleanor and Jack lying next to her.

She hums a bit, pulling the lycra pants up her waist and wincing when it accidentally slaps her hips, “Ow,” she whispers, “Damn it.” she pats her body a bit, then groans, “Damn it, I need my phone- stay there,Nikki!”

Nicole just gave her mother a small smile over the shoulder before her gaze returned to the screen where Dr.Chimp was playing.

Beatrice quickly searched the living room for her phone, muttering to herself as she went. "Where did I put that thing? It was here last night." She checked the coffee table, the couch cushions, and even under a few magazines before finally spotting her phone on the kitchen counter.

With a relieved sigh, she grabbed her phone and checked the time. She still had a bit of a time buffer before their trip to the park.She then did a double take…because there was another phone right next to hers, “Oh,oh no.” she picks it up and as soon as she grabs it, she sees the background - her cheeks reddening because he still had their picture at her aunt’s wedding as his lock screen and their wedding photo on the main screen - and widens her eyes, “Oh no,Roos forgot his phone!”

She chews her lower lip,checking the time, “I wonder if…I can…give it to him at the base?”

As she glanced at the time, a flicker of concern crossed her mind. Rooster had probably already started his work at the base, and he might need his phone during the day. 

Beatrice made a quick decision. She grabbed her own phone and quickly looked up the base's contact information. After finding the number for the front desk, she dialed it, hoping to reach someone who could help her get in touch with her husband.

"Naval Base San Diego, how can I assist you?" a voice on the other end of the line answered.

Beatrice cleared her throat, trying to sound composed. "Hello, this is Beatrice Bradshaw. My husband, Lieutenant Bradley Bradshaw, forgot his phone at home this morning. Is there any way I can get in touch with him to return it?"

The voice on the other end of the line paused for a second, then returned with a “Oh!Mrs.Bradshaw! So nice to finally meet you! You know, your husband talks about you all the time.”

Her cheeks warmed up,”Oh..um…really??”

"Yes, ma'am," the voice on the other end continued warmly. "He's always mentioning how lucky he is to have you. Let me see if I can reach him for you."

Beatrice could only let out a nervous laugh as she waited, chewing her lower lip. She heard some clicking on the line, indicating that the person on the other end was trying to connect her call to Rooster's office. She also couldn’t deny how sweet it was that Rooster spoke so highly of her to his colleagues.

And everyone, for that matter.

After a brief pause, another voice came on the line. "Lieutenant Bradley Bradshaw speaking. How can I assist you?"

Oh.

Oh. That…that was nice.

Beatrice cleared her throat, cheeks still warm as she tries to compose herself to talk to her husband. "Roos, it's me.You left your phone at home this morning."

There was a moment of silence on the other end,then the subtle ‘pat pat pat’ around his uniform before he grunted "Oh shit."

“Yeah…” she pauses, “So um…should I…what should I do? What would be easier for you? Can I bring it to you?” could she? She visited the base once after all…

Rooster's voice on the other end of the line sounded slightly flustered. "Uh, yeah, that would be great, babe. I can't really function without my phone at work. Where can we meet?"

Beatrice thought for a moment. "Well, I could come by the base and drop it off for you. Just tell me where to meet you, and I'll be there."

Rooster hummed on the other end, then there was the noise of paper being messed around before he returned, “Alright, can you come by the base entrance in about an hour? I'll be waiting for you there."

“Oh, okay, you sure?”

“Yeah, it’ll be lunch time then,” he replies, fixing something on his end, “It’ll be okay. And there won’t be any issues.��

“Oh,okay then.” she says while playing with the lycra on her pants, “I’ll see you then…Lieutenant-Commander.” she couldn’t help it, not when his voice sounded so attractive and professional and…just hot.

His silence on the other end was a great answer, “Bea…”he warns.

“Well,it’s your title isn’t it?”

Rooster let out a low chuckle, his voice softening. "Not yet but you've got a way of making that title sound... interesting,"

"Well, maybe I'll have to remind you of your Lieutenant-Commander duties later." another sharp inhale from his end, “Sorry,am I distracting you?”

“You,” he breathes out, “You are a minx.”

Beatrice's cheeks flushed with a mix of embarrassment,lower lip sliding between her teeth, "Well, you do…bring the best out of me," she replied with a mischievous giggle. "But I promise to be on my best behavior when I bring you your phone."

“Gorgeous.” he’s almost pleading “Baby,love of my life, don’t do this to me. I’m at work and it’s hurting me.”

Beatrice laughs again, “See you in one hour,handsome.” he almost whined in complaint, “Love you!”

“...I love you too,baby. One hour.” she knew he wanted to say more, but held himself back out of safety, “Until then.”

[jacob-in-taiwan]

August 7 - Return to Taipei, Tea Ceremony, and Final Dinner

Today was a very bittersweet day. On one hand I’m excited to be going back home soon. I’ve spent more than four weeks away before, but since I go to school so close to where I live it doesn’t feel the same. I miss my family and friends, and all the other luxeries that come with being at home. But on the other hand, I’ve had the greatest experience in my life being in Taiwan. I’ll talk more on that later. 

To start the day we first had to leave Tainan. Another early checkout time and we were back on the bus. From Tainan to Taipei its about three hours, but we made a few stops along the way so it took a bit longer. Thats not a problem though. By now everyone in our group is so close and we enjoy being around eachother so much that a long drive just means more time to hang out. We spent it chatting and singing kareoke. Eventually we stopped for lunch at what I think is the coolest rest stop ever. It had a land bridge that went over the highway. Maybe to locals its just another stop along the way but I was really impressed. 

Eventually we made it to Taipei, and it felt great to be back. I personally really enjoyed Kaohsiung, and Tainan as well even though we were only there for a few days. However, nothign can compare to Taipei. Being in a big and busy city like that is just a different experience thats so hard to find elsewhere. Despite being gone for two weeks I felt right at home and could immedietely recongize what part of town we were in. Our first stop back was a tea ceremony. Looking back and reflecting on the trip its been really cool to see how tea ceremonies differ by region. How the north differs from the south, or even how the one today was different from the one in Jiufen or Yaoyue.

Since it took so long to get to Taipei we didn’t have any other activites planned after the tea ceremony other than dinner. I’m really happy we were able to all have one last dinner together as a group. Everyone on the trip was friends with eachother, but we didn’t always see eachother outside the planned activities, so it was really nice that I could see everyone at least one more time. At dinner we also made sure to give Peter all his gifts. We got him a thank you card and we all signed his gator flag he carried around. Additionally, we also decided to personally make Peter a photobook. I dont remember whose idea it was to give Peter a gift from the students, but we all agreed that we should do something nice for Peter. He was such a great tour guide and friend all trip, so it was the least we could do for him.

After that the trip was offically done. I said goodbye to a few people, but not all. Some people had bought so much stuff on the trip that they ran out of space in their suitcases, so they had to go out and buy bags. It was me, Brev, Jasmine, Faith, Jack, Austin, and Andy. We tried looking for luggage stores nearby, but eventually decided to just go to Ximen. That way we could buy bags but also have a little fun on our last night out. I had a great time walking around one of the first places I ever went in Taiwan. 

We got back to the hotel semi-late but the night didn’t end yet. To be fair, I don’t think anyone wanted it to. I had an extra day, but most people flew out the next morning, so they wanted to savor every last second they had in Taiwan. The guys all got together to do something we grew to love, playing card games. Ever since we got trapped in Yilan, playing card games was such a great way we would hang out. We’ve played a couple different games, but our favorite was a game called cambio. We played it in Yilan, Taitung, Kaohsiung, and Taipei. Almost every city we went to. For me, playing these games was extra special. The first day I was in Taiwan I landed at four in the morning, but wasn’t able to check in until three in the afternoon. I had other people with me, and after a couple hours of exploring we crashed in the common area on the fifteenth floor. One of the ways we decided to pass time that day was playing cards. So here I am, a whole month later with a life-changing experience behind me, ending my trip the way it started. I’m a sentimental person, so that was special for me. 

And that was it. After the games we went to bed. I woke up the next morning to say goodbye to the people who were leaving with Peter and after that I had my whole extra day to do whatever. I decided to continue the theme from last night and end the way I started. First I would go to the places I found the coolest to take them in one last time. Then I would travel the same route and see the same things I did on the very first morning when me and my plane buddies wander the city aimlessly. As I walked through the city I couldn’t help but smile. I was so clueless and lost the first time I walked that route, but now I felt right at home. I reminesced on all the amazing memories I made, and I know I’ll hold onto the closley for the rest of my life. One day I will be back in Taiwan. I don’t know when, but I will be back one day to reexplore this country I fell in love with. I want to thank Yeh Laoshi and Chief Redstone for putting together such an amazing program and providing me with the opportunity to have such a life-changing experience. I want to thank Terry for his amazing work getting us everywhere we needed. I want to especially thank Peter for being not just an amazing tour guide, but genuine great person and friend. And of course I want to thank any other person who had any kind of effect or interaction with this trip. As I’m writing this I’m currently already back in the states, flying from San Francsico to Orlando. School starts soon, and it will be back to normal life. But I am not the same person I was before the trip, and I glad that I’m not. I had an amazing experience and made amazing friends, and I can’t wait to see them all again. 

Thank you. 

[thewritersaddictions]

Day Sixteen: Jaskier + Santa Baby

The bard, the one that sang at your coranation. he had caught your ear and eye all in the same night. You sat and watched him all night long, no matter the knights that came to grace you with their presnese it was the one that kept his eyes off of you, and hadn't said a single word to you that had your attention.

Now as the queen you were able to do exactly what you wanted. Still the bard was there. Standing in your court waiting for your word. Your court was filled to the brim today with royal quests, and paralment. It was all getting to be a little bit to much. That was the first night that he talked to you.

"My queen would you like a song?" He asked never once looking you in the eye as he held your attention. You sighed heabily. "Thank you bard, but not now." You said returning your attention back to the royal in front of you. It wasn't until the many royal people left your court, and it was just you and the bard did he ask you again.

"My queen, I would like to sing for you." He said, struming a few cords of his lute before he belted into a sad but heartful song. You listened as you sat there on your throne. "Bard." You shouted over the struming of the lute. His fingers stopped struming and he turned hisattention towards you. "Yes my queen?" He asked notching his head to the side. The night the two of you talked, you asked him to come up and have a normal conversation with you.

It was something you missed dearly now that you had been crowned queen nobody ever talked to you like you were noraml. Instead you were talked to like royalty. "My queen, you musten worry about how the other talk to you. You're their queen they will always treat you as such." He was a rather insitghful bard. "Jaskier I'm just not sure…" "My queen, you have to be sure, you are the peolpes guiding heart, and light."

It wasn't until weeks later, closer to chirstmas did the bard complety take your heart. Annual chirstmas party was going wonderfully, the band was in full march, and the guest were filled to the brim with the best of the foods around the lands. Nothing was going to make this night any better.

You had even danced with a few of your people. It had been going great until you called upon your bard. "Bard!, Play something cheerful, and celebratory!" You shouted, and many followed your shourts with their own and claps of exctiement. he nodded gracefully, and began to play a song.

His voice echoed across the brick walls of your castle, and it gave everythign and everyone pause as they listened to his words. Nothign felt sweetter and heavier then his words as they hit your ears with ease. This time the bard, your bard Jaskier kept his eyes on you the entire time. Like his words were ment to be only for you. You felt your heart swell and your knees buckle, and for once you felt as though you weren't the queen rather just a girl in a tarven in the city listening to herself fall in love on chirstmas no less.

When Jaskier was done everyone clap and cheered continuing to dance around the court. it wasn't until much later, unti lyou heard knocked on your bedroom door did you finally see Jaskier again. "my queen?" You jumped up forgetting your robes and swong open the door. "Come in." You told him. He followed you in, "Your song tonight… its was so beautiful." You told him as you sat at the edge of your bed.

"I'm glad you thought so my queen." Jaskier says as he continues to stare at you. "You looked at me the entire time." You point out. He only nods, so you continue "The song was about me?" You ask him, he nods again. "Do you love me?" You ask him, he smiles and nods.

You can't help the earm embrace that wraps itself around your heart, and the tears come. he's at your side in a second, "Don't you cry my queen, you deserve to be loved always." Jaskier whispers into your ear as he embraces you in a long and meaningful hug. "I will love you till the end of time, my queen."

Completed on: 11/24/23

Posted on: 12/16/23

The Witcher Master List // The Bard Master List // Christmas Stories Master List

[darkhorse-javert]

Flufftober Day 5; X +1

I might write a turn-about situation for this prompt, as another idea is nagging, but for now have a Modern AU of Sam and Andrew, and a looming dinner. @flufftober

She slipped out of into the Station car-park, into the green park behind i, only to be confronted with a heap of person on her favourite perching wall.

"Andrew Foyle, what are you doing here, is something wrong?" She found herself shifting her weight back towards the gate. Should I get Mr Foyle.

He lifted his head "Oh, hullo Sam." A heavy sigh "Nothing's wrong, unless trying to work out how to get out of a Mess Dress dinner counts."

"Mess Dress dinner?" RAF things then.

"All the Brass and braid-trimmed, will be there, and particuarly prominent pilots, Group is showing us off to them."

"Isn't that a god thing, that you're being reconised by the upper ranks." Or looking at you for promotion maybe, I wouldn't know how the RAF works

he sighs with hs whole body, sagging "Its a Plus 1 Do." He begins to count off "WingCo's bringing his wife, Squadi's girlfriend is coming down specially to be there - I haven't even met her yet. Rex has even coaxed Colin in to going with him, Douglas has Heather..." He looked at her, face open, bleak, sad, "And then there's me sitting in, looking like a right Noddy-no-mates by comparison."

In the scheme of things, she saw day to day with the police it was small, tiny really- but to stand out so in a roup, especially in front of those you respected, wouldn't be nice.

She tipped her head, considering "Violet won't go with you? although she hadn't heard mention of Violet for a while, but Mr Foyle barely talked about Andrew anyway.

Andrew's mouth twisted in a wry smile, "Violet finished with me when Rex and Connie broke up, accused me of being clearly on Rex's side - when I was really just trying to stay out of it all."

She did remember a lot of gossip, almost a year ago, about a full-on fracas in one of the bars they'd been called to, which had involved the RAF boys and a confronation with their ladies. Gossip about which had always gone suspiciously silent as soon as Mr Fole was even thought to be nearby.

Andrew carried on in a dull tone "I'd rather get out of it, except I can't think of a way that won't also ground me for quite a while, or be too obvious. That's worse, nearly, because then everyone would know I tried to get out of it."

"You'd miss a good dinner, too- surely it will be good if they're feeding the top brass."

Another dry twich of the mouth into a sour smile, then Andrew seemed to give her another look. "Sam- " he said slowly as if measuring each word, "Would you come with me, to the dinner?" He hurried on, before she could quite register just what he was saying "Just as a friend, nothign else."

She looked at him, raised an eyebrow "A friend, or a cover-up?"

"Both, if you want, if it makes you feel better about it, play at being undercover. And you'd get a good dinner out of it"

"Play?" she pretended shock, all the while notingthe facts he'd offered, So perhaps Mr Foyle has been coaxed to say more about me than I ever thought he would.

Now Andrew was looking brighter all over, hopeful, but something struck her, "I'm not sure I've got anything smart enough to wear for it... Andrew, is Mess Dress equal to White-tie or Black-tie?"

(A/N It appears to be either)

[kariachi]

Went to bed, brain went 'remember that one au', got the fuck back up to make a post about it because while I'm pretty sure I never posted any of what I wrote for it I did enjoy it as a concept.

Basic idea was a middleground between UAF canon and OV canon. Kevin is an Ossy, the Rooters still happened, a lot of his life is a lie, and shit starts coming into the light after the Ultimate Kevin Arc. Because somebody has the foresight to call in the Empire about the rampaging chick.

In the distance, you can just about hear Servantis cursing.

Because the Empire getting involved means the Empire investigating shit, such as why the fuck there's a lone Osmosian chick out in the middle of nowhere and why he's involved in all this mess in the first place to end up in this situation. And of course the Tennysons tell them what they know- son of Devin Levin, Imperial Ossy who joined the Plumbers and died several years back, sure here's the paperwork but we don't see why this is such a big deal, on and on. And of course the Empire has even more questions because they can't find proof outside of Plumber systems that this guy ever existed.

Because the thing is as I write them the Empire, when they show up to shit like this, needs and wants to know your clan. That's where they're going to turn you over is to your clan or to your Packhead and Kevin has no pack. And wherever they turn they're finding no clan either. Alerts get sent out looking for any clan that had a member die in the Sol System in the past couple decades, and they do find one.

Their member died when Kevin would have been smaller than the reports say, and they've never heard of any 'Devin Levin', but it's the only evidence they have of any Osmosian having been in the System in that time period. Even when they extend it to 'if you've had a member in the Sol System in this time frame', they only get the one hit.

And the investigators haven't been slacking- the more they look that more important getting answers becomes because between the story of 'Devin's death and the situation with Kevin there's the very real chance of an active threat to any Osmosians who may or may not be in the System. So they're asking around for information. For any sort of evidence of who this guy was, where he was from, did he ever mention kin. Nobody is giving a real answer- it's been a long time, memories fade, there's nothign concrete except for paperwork. So, turn to the former mate, surely if anyone would have information it would be her.

She's gone. Not only has the 'former mate' vanished off the face of the planet, but so has a host of items from around her house, including every picture of Kevin, of Devin, the linens and toothbrushes are gone, the house has been scrubbed clean. Kevin's own apartment has been raided of pictures and various other items. The storage has been picked clean. The stepfather? Can't find hide nor hair of his either. Fuckers have to turn to Argit to try to find any personal affects of Kevin's that could contain clues, even though at this point they're more looking for evidence of the foul play the evidence is pointing to..

Attempts to see if Ragnaroc ever discussed his victim in prison, maybe there's some proof there, only turn up statement after statement that he'd only been in Incarcecon for a month or so before he broke out, not the years the reports say.

So by this point of course the investigation is digging into Kevin, because he's who they've got and his supposed father doesn't seem to exist outside of Plumber files, his supposed mother has grabbed a load of seemingly random shit and skipped town. Kevin who was in Incarcecon for months before escaping. Kevin who committed several crimes while traveling the galaxy and yet upon his last arrest was quickly given parole and seemingly immediately went back to his homeworld. Quickly reconnected with the mother who's vanished into the aether. Who's described by Argit as having 'suddenly' decided to become a Plumber. Who was confronted a year after returning to Earth with his father's killer, who wasn't in prison for a fraction the time the Plumbers say he was.

Who the younger Tennysons admit seeing as part of a team of kids causing trouble the year after he escaped from Incarcecon, an event he denies any knowledge of.

And wow, now they think about it, a few of the other hybrid kids they know also look familiar from back then, and they deny any knowledge of the event as well. All children of Plumbers, most with no evidence outside Plumber files. And the one who does have an actual existing person to back matters up has Ossy powers he really shouldn't from his 'parents'' backgrounds.

And lo but you get an entire AU centered half around the Osmosian Empire closing in around the Plumbers in a bid to figure out wtf is going on, why, and whether and who they need to have killed, and half around finding Kevin, Alan, Manny, Helen, and Pierce's families, restoring relevant memories, and reuniting them if at all possible. All wrapped up in a really traumatic case of 'hey your life is a lie', with bonus 'we're taking the lot of you into protective custody until we know wtf is going on and that you children are safe'.

[chiefatticcreator]

Prompt: A few days after tagging in for 18, Bulma is unable to meet up with Goku due to a last minute thing coming up so she send Videl in her stead without telling her. Once arrived Videl, without noticing, pass by a passed out 18, who still hasn't managed to escape the house since last time.

Videl wasn't really sure what she needed to do at the Son house. Bulma hadn't really been clear about it either, only telling the girl that there was "something to check up with Goku" and she couldn't do it, so if Videl could pass by their house and do it for her, that would be great and Bulma would be really grateful for it. Videl had accepted, but was wondering what it was all about. Did Goku borrow something from Bulma? Still, she did not have anything else to do that day, so she accepted and made her way there.

As soon as she arrived near the house, she was shocked by the sudden smell. a strong, masculine stench. Briefly wondering if they had gotten a horse or another kind of animal (Gohan had never told her anything about that), Videl scrunched her nose and entered inside.

The smell was even stronger inside, the stench making her eyes water and her head dizzy as it hit her almost like a physical blow.

"Mr Son? Mr. Goku?" Videl raised her voice.

"I'm in the bedroom." Goku answered, as cheerful and happy as ever, and Videl walked in that direction.

She knew the Son house from having been there a few times, and the sudden stench, accompanied by the strange liquid hanging from nearly every surface, was not only new to her, but made her head spin. She could swear some kind of weird shape on the couch was moaning, but she did her best to ignore it.

"Mr. Goku... Bulma told me to come check up on for something." Videl explained. "She said she couldn't come today and that i would... oh GOD!"

She had finally reached the bedroom of the Son couple, and she could see Goku. Naked. The powerful, strong, tall, broad man was sitting on the edge of the bed. But even when he was just sitting, his presence dominated Videl. Simply looking at him made her want to kneel, some instinct within calling her to submit. and his cock... it was godly. it was bigger than videl was tall, broader than she was wide, it exuded an aura of masculinity, of dominance... she wanted nothign more than to kiss it, to suck it, to...

She shook her head, trying to get her midn back.

"I'm... you're... naked."

"Yes. And now you can take care of that for me." He gestured to his gargantuan dick. "18 was doing that, but she passed out somewhere in the house."

18... Android 18? She was still there? Videl's thoughts flashed back to the blonde unindentifiable mess in the living room.

"Oh god..."

And yet, despite how much it should have terrified her, she should have run away or screamed, she found herself nodding.

"Alright, sir. I'll take your big cock, please, fuck me~"

[best-movie-ever-tournament]

The Russians... was described as follow:

If the Cold War counts, then this is my fave film from that era. A soviet submarine runs aground off a remote island in new england. Now, they have to find a way to get home before being discovered by the nosy townsfolk on the island or the US government. Otherwise, it could mean WWIII. This is actually a super charming and funny film with a nice message of helping people out when they're in trouble. Plus, Alan Arkin, who plays the lead Russian, can actually speak Russian irl so his lines sound perfectly natural rather than an over-the-top affectation.

Papy fait... was described as follow: (put under a read more, nothign triggering but it's very long)

A totally normal, although over-the-top in every aspect, french family living through the war... the father, André becomes a leader of a Resistance cell but he is killed by the accidental explosion of a grenade. Two years later, the family's mansion is requisitioned by the German occupation authorities to accommodate a general, Spontz, transferred from Eastern Front to Paris. The Germans brutally take over the whole house and leave the family occupying the cellar, and complaining to the Kommandantur about the excesses of Spontz and his men (it is however to be noted that Spontz actually offered them to share the house fairly, with him just taking two rooms, but they decided that they were martyrs of the occupied France and to start living in the cellar). As the mother and the daughter rescue, by some extraordinary chance and plot armor, a british aviator, the future-son-in-law of the family gets arrested over some stupid shit and almost gets shot, being only saved by the arrival of Super-Resistant, who's costume is reminiscent of the Phantom of the Opera. He is actually no other than the over-the-top-ly gay-coded son of the family, who everyone thinks is a good for nothing. The family is also persecuted by Adolfo Ramirez, the former Paris Opera caretaker and a fierce collaborationist who has become a Gestapo agent. Unfortunately for him, Spontz has fallen in love with the daughter of the family (and it's reciprocated, much to the dismay and jealousy of the self-proclaimed resistant she's engaged to). Although she had vowed not to sing while there were Germans in France, Madame Bourdelle is forced by General Spontz to attend a reception in honour of Hitler's half-brother, Marshal Ludwig von Apfelstrudel (whose name means Applepie), held in a castle near Paris. With the help of the scorned fiancé of the daughter, the Resistance plans to detonate a bomb in the dining room. The operation fails and the Bourdelles et al. are about to be arrested but they are saved by Super-Resistant, who captures von Apfelstrudel and all the German generals, with the help of his men and of Gramps. The story seems to end, but proves to be a "film within the film," and gives way to a contemporary television debate, designed to address the period of occupation, and to report on the reality of the depicted events in the film. The show brings together Bernadette Bourdelle and General Spontz (now happily married), the son, now even more over the top gay-coded, Adolfo Ramirez Jr. (son of Ramirez, who came from Bolivia to defend his father's memory), and the former fiancé (now Minister of Veterans Affairs). Soon, the discussion turns to disaster: Ramirez Jr. insults and defames the other protagonists of the story, who start to beat him up on the TV set, forcing the host to cut the transmission. And that's the best war movie ever although it's a parody of resistance movies with all the clichés of the genre.

[joehillssimp]

Hermitfam is baaaad.

Like it's passable when you consider it's a 30-40 something year old white guy writing and performing it, but like... aside from that it's baad.

The backing beat is good, I like it. However, the chill vibes don't really match the speed Impulse pulls right after the intro poems. It honestly feels more like the backing beat for a singer than that for a rap song, missing the heavy percussion and.... BEAT, that that is typical of the genre.

Even more chill rap songs like Young and Wild and Free(Wiz Kalifa, Snoop Dogg, Bruno Mars, etc) have a set percussion and rhythm that guides the song along and helps to set the pace for the artists performing on the song. And that is really the core of the problem with this song.

Impulse doesn't know how to stay on beat, and doesn't seem to understand that the performer is supposed to stand out, but still fit into the overall composition of the song.

I won't talk about the opening bars, those are more spoken poetry and an introduction than anything. But the first real verse, despite being the strongest one, with a consistent flow, has the problem of not quite matching the backing track.

I don't much to say about it other than that, it's the best part.

Then the chorus comes in with Impulse kicking it up about half a notch speedwise, returns to that thing he did in Hermitgang where he tries to shove too many syllables into one bar, making the whole thing sound jumbled and rushed, like he didn't take the time to actually smooth out the little bumps in his writing before recording.

After that, the next 2 verses have this kind of spoken word, beat poetry, vibe to them. Which is fine, if he hadn't tried to open the song itself with speedrap.

Now it's not uncommon for rappers to have 1 verse, or a bridge in a different style than the rest of the song, but it's hardly ever the first verse, and usually when they bring on a guest, who's voice adds variety and it supposed to act as a high point in the song, before having another chorus or whatever to finish off the song.

It's a climax. So musically, Impulse has the Climax right at the start of the song, and then the rest a kind of chill slide down a lazy river. And i should say, there is nothign wrong with a slower flow, a lot of rappers from the east coast are hella successful off their slower flows, but once again, their flows are on beat, with a consistent cadence and blend with the backing track.

So when he starts off fast, and then slows down for all his other lines, which are at most 12 syllables each, it feels like he couldn't figure out what to say about the rest of the server, or that he was padding for runtime so the song would reach that 2 minute mark. Not to mention completely leaving out TFC.

And I think, that aside from there being no rhythm to the song, Impulse's voice isn't properly balanced by the rest of the beat. Impulse's voice, I wouldn't say it's high pitched, but it's very close to the tonal range that the rest of the song exists in, and so they use volume to make him stand out. It would have been better if perhaps they had taken some deep bass, and used that to set some kind of rhythm, with higher melodies that create a space for Impulse's voice to stand out, while keeping all the audio levels at reasonable levels.

As it stands, Impulse is so loud you can barely hear the beat, especially during the chorus.

I'm not good at explaining my thoughts but yeah uhhh...

In regards to impulse's writing...

Think of the consonants in a word, or line, to be like a drum beat. The way each one is stressed and unstressed, creating each hit and pause in the percussive melody.

For people not familiar with music theory, even drums have tones and pitches, and when you write a rap song, your voice becomes a part of the drums, who's tones support the melody, rather than the melody themselves like in normal singing.

And I listen to how Impulse phrases his words, and how he places his stresses and pauses, and it creates something akin to a child just beating a drum however they like, getting tired but still hitting, and then doing whatever they want on the chorus as well. it's not a good sound.

And the worst part is that I KNOW that impulse plays the drums. I KNOW that he should have a better understanding of rhythm and cadence than that shown in the song. Which makes this as a whole more disappointing.

Maybe he just doesn't understand how that all translates to writing.

I genuinely believe impulse could have made a better song, writing, cadence, overseeing the creation of the beat so it matched his creative vision....

I dunno it feels rushed.

And it sounds like a bad song.

[bewitchingbaker]

C - H - R - I - S for the nsfw meme!

C = Cum (where does your muse prefer to cum/have someone cum)

When it comes to Chris and placing his...finish, the baker has a bit of a not so hidden thing for finishing in his partners. It's a very intimate feeling feeling himself let go within his partner that he loves. Even if he does where a condom. Although a certain vampire did ride him to one of his biggest (and best) climax that he's ever had. But he does like leaving his mark on his partners chest sometimes.

But with his partners, he likes when the finish on him. Sort of like a proof of him doing a good job with his partner.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

A blanket of matching brunette hair covers that broad chest of his and his arms have their fair share of hair as well. His legs are also blessed with hair. But his pubic area is very well groomed. In his own words 'i don't want anyone to have dental floss when they do down on me'. But he likes having a bit of hair for aesthetic reasons. Every blue moon, he might trim/shave it into a design if he's feeling silly.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Chris is in ships with partners with all sorts of interests. Some like knives, others like bondage, others like specific scenarios and he's happy to accommodate their needs. He wants to make them feel good, after all. Trying new things led to him finding a kink for fooling around in public.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Oh boy, this is his favorite part of sex honestly. While he does like some of the more passionate sides of sex, Chris likes the more romantic parts of sex. Holding hands, sweet nothigns, long eye contact before kisses. If he's in a relationship with you, he might drop a little 'I love you' in between. But if it's a casual thing, he'll remind you of how beatiful you are during the deed.

Even after, Chris tends to feel a little vulnerable and you might learn a secret or two.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

The boy has quite the sex drive, no doubt due to sometimes holding back on anything sexual for a while. So once he's in the sack, he can go for a while with his longest session being 2 hours (with breaks of course). Usually Chris goes for two rounds but somedays (mainly after deadlines) he can get 3 sometimes four rounds in since he'd been pent up for so long.

[solardick]

I don’t take care of mysekf anymore. I stoped. Back to veingbuncertain if i survive the 40th tear of veing fuckedcaround. Soend all day being fucke with by these asshole s nothing new been theough 39 of them already.

For my entire life purpose for being born is to have an entire fucken comunity of cunttards fucken with my existance. 39 years and counting and they only grow and multiply. Like rucken cockroaches.

There is ni reason why. Ist always been that way. Theres nothign to learn from it. Nothign to take abeay from it. Just to survive in a hostile worl of mind and sex raping funkinc twats.

Im fucken dome beeing supportive and helpful. It doesnt matter. My response to everyone noe is fuck off. All they domis talk about prejudice bs. Stabbing pleopl in the neck. Throwing shit at people. Sayign nothign hut derogatory bs. Joke about suicide. Bash blackpeople. Criminal empire bs. Sexual derogitories. Bashing stupid people. Riding in being assholes. Drug dealers. Queers.lowlife cocksuvkery. Every fuckeing day.

And every kindness has an ulterior motive. The day i meet a fag or another persom that doesnt fuck with me or whom isn’t a hedonist. That be the day. Im just waiting in the grand fucken finaly again. Maybe it’ll kill

This time. I expect the crows will let me know just before it happens. They always do. It’s never a full impact it gets cushioned alitle.

Time to go “hang” out woth degenerate motivationlists. Raised by them fucked by them. Thats life. Thats all ive ever known. Look at the outcome. They jsut breed and multiply. Go russia.

Biden gives the ok to hit russia with us missiles. Ou my god. Im excited. Is theres a war coming? No, limit tarde with china. China creating stringers ties eith russia. Qomde rif any of thisnis true.

Like how my name means friend in russian with an added KG. And incan pronounce properly with a ruasian accent. Isnt stead

Of a past tense verb of an indefinite article.

… uhm. Well thats what happens. Rewarded today with good things. Must be saying something right.

Some changes need to be made, to the qwerty tarot deck. Namely. Switching in Waite’s strength as harmony card in position to the lovers card. nd in its place i was thinking my Гv card. I doubt i am capable of recreating an entirely new tarot based of the jcuzen type. But things are coming to mind. And having two system aids greatly. My comparison and feed back looping. Why oh why have Waite’s strenght as harmony card on letter N. N is for negation. It would work though if the moon card, as it is, was brought into the picture. Because nobody likes the moon card. And one of the things that came to mind were letters Ч, Ш & Щ. In relation to the star, the moon and, the sun. Doesn’t that flow nicely together? Ch, Sh, and Shsh.

If princess yokaterina comes in from the petulant fool carrying a crown to the hierophant and it leads to strength as harmony. That well thats fantastic. The negative feminine gets killed and she embraces the king. Victory for

The chariot. Though i also found it curios how her family seal has a black horse on one side and a white horse on the other. In between is the classical medieval shield emblem. Victory.

Wonder if thats true. For it obviously resembles the russian emblem as if, it were derived from it. The two little dots ontop of the E. Being a crown. And one gets a sense of the motivations. Add the fleur de lys at its center. Save that if it’s not been meticulously fabricated. Though with the russian emblem by comparison and saint George well then it speaks of a highly depicted respectful view of the feminine and support for them. Compared to the western bs of feminist activists proves that point valid even if its only conjectural. Save that the colour of the horses aren’t the same in every coat of arms. Where both are white.

Now comes a correction of the petulant E card coming from the empress. Again waite’s fool card is traveling in the wrong direction. Moving west instead of east. In this regard his fool should be the petulant one. Walking off the edge of existence. The one commonly adopted by women. I get the pun. But it just evokes that sly cockskrs crooked smile of superiority over others. Not very enlightening. Considering theres a sun there that he’s staring at. Like fallowing the sun is a bad thing. While giving N to justice. And having the dog being interpreted as his little helper. And not trying to stop him. 🙄 that deserves the emoticon. But having a petulant fool walkign away from the empress just shows incompetent womanhood at raising their child to be man handled by the emperor. Get rid of the cliff and flip the fool to the other direction and interpreted the dog as a helper. And there you go. The proper fool. As he’s supposed to be depicted.

How else does the lover(s) card make any sense in its position. Marriage happens by the hand of the church. Both oath and loyalty. Why is there nothing in between of the empress and the emperor? 5 would be a suitable place for the lovers card too. But here is found the petulant fool. Being number as the start of the emperor. While the princess card being numbered at the start of the hierophant. It gets all muddled and confusing here. And numbers fuck everything up.

Perhaps the E fool should be the only numbered card here while Ë remains unnumbered. But symbolized by letters instead. It flows nicely with the high-priestess holding the law of the alphabets. And promotes, subconsciously or by will for the feminine to use her wits to reach the high rulership of the hierophant. Just to muse and the issues of the deck.

For if she were to be numbered she would be walking west and E would be walking east. She’s a dishelved mess he’s a dishelved mess they meet and the summof the numbers equals the tower. Being on opposite sides of the same card gives choice to the querent. This way they are both found in between the empress and the emperor. Amd on the far side theres the “magician” and the lovers. This way it works using linearly and … crap… Centripetally.

In the 1984 film gremlins starts of the protagonist scene of a “boy” running past a movie theater with a dog fallowing closely behind him. Heading “west”. On the sign of the movie theatre, theres a large red letter E. In the words “A boys life Watch thE skies.

This gives another argument worth typing about. And when on his journey it opens the scene of the coming protagonist lady. In which case is introduced a antagonist head of bank. A miserable wretched woman walking up with a head with burger king written behind her.

But on current script theme of film. Was I.S.S. Being fallowed by civil war. Which means im tight on script too. Fun fun.

A fun channel. https://youtu.be/RAbVqKSRNSM?si=A5WCFuEGzwJ4V9Sd

😂🫰🏼

But, im just here born for no other purpose than being fucked. With this as my mentality. True disposition as it always, and always tried to be. Manipulated and beaten into a delinquent wreck for purposes of “teaching” me a lesson or, the fuck if i know. Did i already say that i didnt want to be alive anymore.?

And look this film was completely absent in any dissemination to me. Went into production at the same time i started casually looking at the cards in 2022 and only reached me now. https://youtu.be/bvDArsKoTOE?si=tOuvaRuOIWzrFpOY

The horrorscope. Don’t want to watch. Dont like horror movies. But, yup. Its great living in perfect conjunction to media. If you didnt pick up the sarcasm. Atleast it doesnt have my adress and innitials in it though like other films.

Use my cards instead. They’re better. Maybe they’ll become the script to neo mainstream bs. Im already popular. And always had a vague big dream of immortality. Porbably brainwashed dream. But such is life as ita always been. Everything revolves around me. Becaus ethis isnt reality its a torture chamber for sadists. Too old for a family now anyway. Ill be retiring and still have some little assholes running around fucken my peace. Not that inknow what peace and secirity are in the pressence of other people. Wonder what thats like. Nwver experiences it before. Always gotten punished way over the top from what i actually deserved.

Well that re-watch in the background of gremlins is over. Queer 80’s bs. Take the moon card and put gizmo and mohack in it. With the little drop of water falling from the moon. The gremlins remind sme of most of the people i grew up around. Hedonists, drunks, druggies, crossdressers, pinks and mischievous freaks. All wispering bs in my ear. And all written from the tarot script. In conjunction to neptune on christmass sextĩling pluto. Because sextiling isnt a verb word, have to make up a punctuation mark. And now it can be pronounced properly.

So as it is the 6 and 7th letters of the russian alphabet. The E and Ë together. Becomes. 13. The death card by tarot. Or the Wheel card by english. The crap about. Though it had it all backyards. As w stands for the moon. And m stands for thee wheel. The wheel being a solar thing. And the moon being a moon thing. Asides the fact that W starts the woman and M starts the man. Theres a reversal that plays it bs. Tarots sucks. the english E is number 5 and the russian E ia number 6 add them together. And we have the justice card. Or the lovers card. Number 11. Or imaginary card EE. Being combined with the infinity symbol of intertwining. The russian E is on the emperor and the Ë is on the hierophant which ranks above the emperor. Though by comparison the russian letter Л (L) for love as written as Lyubo(v’f’) is the 13th letter of that cyrilic alphabet. Curious no? As sex is also called the petit-mort in french french. But not so much in degerenate french of local Quebecers which seems to be a hall mark of the english speaking world.

Though for russian looking at english. Its different. Letter Ë isn’t a diaeresis. It’s a separate letter not to be mistaken, they wouldn’t pronounce the diphthong, prolonged E. Or E\E. Though the homoglyphic nature of it’s form. Shows a strong similarity between two objects. While still showing obvious separation. The same applies for man and woman. To “wo” or the russian yo. Shows that gender clash isn’t as relevant to the everyday after this letter was formally instituted in the alphabet. Considering it’s take extra steps thus becoming a hassle to type this letter shows that with the ease function, it is learned that its importance is not too significant. And life can be understood without capitalizing the differentiation.

That said. There are still strong gramatical gender differention throughout the rest of the language. Where the sex is signified. Just not in the single lettered alphabet type set.

Of course most peoples opinions aren’t even their own. But socially engineered for political goals and civiland national ambitions.

For example for the tarot alphabet system which isn’t taught. At least not to me. Is the letters NHИ. Where the negation of letter N. is placed over the H of the lovers card and the propaganda that Russians are villains, aggressive and spies. Isn’t very well questioned. As they have always been depicted in media. And taken at face value to those whom have no association to them. There are steps taken to limits these associations at moment in the face of this so called foreign war. Which is none of our proper business and doesn’t affect the state to any staggering degree. That people are just people. And one individual isn’t to be blamed for the actions of another. Yet at the same time glorifies single individuals out. As a scapegoat. Hitler, bin laden, trump, &. That fact remains its still a collective effort. And a time posted stamp of a historical prelude.

The same applies to jesus. The minor differentiation between jesus being god and jesus being the son of god makes for a big deference. As people need some thing more tangible and recognizable to give “personal”’significance to. Which is why jesus is a person. And not an unfathomable….. thing? This is a teaching from the hindu gurus. And i will not pray to a personable jesus. As a middle man to god. Nor blame a single person for the actions of a nation.

It would be best to recreate an entirely new tarot based of the old system to an entirely new alphabet. And the russian system devoid of any pictograms is more accurate than english.

Considering i grew out of an prejudiced, sexist, racist psychotic family structure and have to pay as their scapegoat. On the larger picture of things. Is my motivation. I suppose. Though with a learning disability form 30 uears of pot smoking only to quit and have it legalized two-years later. Doesnt sit well for me. The degeneration of mankind is only growing stronger and things need to change. Ans so far russia is the only one making a name for themselves on this regard.

Ive met trudo’s wife. Shook her i hand, i think. Nice lady at dame value.

The problematical flip side of all positive attempts of growth being sabotaged.

[pretendstoread]

first...second...second first

it's funny that every time i think about writing i never really know what to say. i don't remember making this account in 2018, or writing for the first time on here. i've gone back and forth between journaling--where to do it, if it's even helping me--and there's a strong chance that i'll move on from this just like the other journals and modes of expression.

i've just been kinda uninspired. i fear that i wasnt born to be an artist. i dont think i Do enough. i dont really photograph. nothing really inspires me anymore. i'm kinda worried that new york's tap has run dry, but i dont think it's effective to blame the city i live in instead of myself. this has been a problem of mine for years now. why is it so hard to express yourself?!! i feel like i have a lot in me and yet no way to show for it. i dont know if i have a good work life balance. i dont know if thats even the problem? it's just.....so easy to do nothing....? but it doesnt make me happy??? but i keep doing nothign anyway??? maybe THIS is the first step to that. there's a bit of ego in making this. like. diary public. though i dont really think anyone will see it (and i don't care (but i will tag this anyway and maybe check if it gets any notes)). but i dont mean it to be egotistical.

i am a product of post internet use. i grew up expressing myself online. i was on facebook in fifth grade, tumblr in middle school, wattpad/ao3 and stan twitter in high school, art school in college, and back on twitter as a young adult. there has never been a point where i wasn't trying to put myself out there somehow, to be seen and shared and agreed with or admired or congratulated or impressed by. this pressure To Be Seen at 24 feels the most strong. the strongest ever felt. everywhere all the time i see and am told that i have so much time and that 20s are just the beginning. but it doesnt feel that way at all. it LOOMS over me. life shouldnt be Established but it should be.....Impressive? thats the second time i used impressive in this post so thats some subconscious thing going on there. But much of life right now is waking up, going to work, hating work, coming home, sitting on the couch until it's time for bed (which i either fall asleep right there or lazily flop into bed--and consequently miss taking my antianxiety meds), and then i wake up all over again. there's nothing to really show for. i don't feel like an interesting person. i dont feel like i do enough for myself. i guess i have a fear that i will be in this cycle for so long that one day it's 20 years later and nothings reallllllly changed. like. fundamentally.

i cannot think that far ahead. i have no ten year plan, 5 year, one year, 6 months...but i will be a fucking doomer about myself every chance i get. it's, of course, easier to catastrophize in the moment. lower expectations = less chance of disappointment! i think it's also interesting that the only things i really journal about are negative thoughts. wtf is that about. i'm not even necessarily unhappy right now.

things that make me feel Happy:

having enough food in the house that i can make something without having to go out or order in

laying in the sun on the beach after getting bodied by waves

creme soda

when i'm wearing a dress and dont care about my underwear showing (i like to spread! im sitting knees up at my desk right now!!)

catching someone i like looking at me (does it mean anything extra if they're drinking something at the same time....? and they don't break eye contact...?)

customizable internet--the past now....i remember when tumblr was a WEBSITE more than an APP. we must free ourselves from The Profile.

[mellow-worlds]

I suddenly feel the urge to kill myself again. I kind of managed to cry a little. I won't kill myself if there's guests in the house, though. I really shouldn't. I hope my uncle leaves tomorrow again. I want to die. It wouldn't be fair to my piano teacher, he'd lose another client. It wouldn't be fair to my family because they'd have to deal with all of the burying me stuff or whatever. It wouldn't be fair to anyone because I've already taken up so much space and they'd have to get rid of my stuff and I have so muhc stuff. It wouldn't be fair to keep on living because I'll take up even more space and acwuire even more stuff. I'd annoy everybody more than I already have and I'm jsut so tiread I want to die I wish I were dead. I wish people liked me. It's not their fault. I wish I were dead ahahahha I want tod ie I want to die I wiant to die I wish I never was born I'm so dricking sad everything hurts and mostly I jsut feel empty what's wrong with me come on why can't I jsut pull myself together aand Idk just sht up about hOw bAd I fEeL come on it's nothign It's nothing I feel nothing nothing ever happens to me or with me I'm so stupod GOSH i wish I were dead. Can't i jsut be killed? I'd love that so much I'd really love that so mucj :D